Take It From Us | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hi, welcome to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.". I'm Shayne. And today's theme is advice. That's right. And I'm joined by two people. who you should definitely take advice from, Ian and Damien. - Thanks, Shayne. - Yeah, I don't think I've ever led anyone astray. with my advice ever. - [Shayne] Yeah. - I think I've always given very fair, level-headed, and serious advice. - Yeah. - And that's why I was brought on for this episode. Every bit of advice I'm gonna say is completely in earnest.

- Okay. - And I 100% back. - Okay. - I'm gonna take whatever stance you don't, and then we'll get a fair and sort of balanced system. - That's probably a good idea, Damien. - You know what? I do actually... As a friend. - Okay. - I do really like your advice that you give, because even if I, you know, sometimes it's like dead on, sometimes I don't agree with it 100%, but it's always coming from like a really good. and well thought out place. So no matter what, it's always like, oh, okay, I hadn't thought about it like that.

And it helps me get to where I need to be, so... - Yeah. - [Damien] Yeah. - He hit you with that genuine shit right off the bat. - Yeah, I was waiting for the... (everyone laughs). - How does that feel? - I was waiting for the, the, the-. - The joke? - The upper cut to come. - There's no upper cut today. That'll be later. - He's letting that sit back. - Thank you, Damien. - No worries. Appreciate you. - Thank you. Appreciate you. - Look, I was a camp counselor. for a very brief period of time, and no one ever really came to me for advice, but-. (Shayne laughs). I'd like to think if they did,

I'd be able to offer them some wisdom. that sticks with them to this day. - Today, we're gonna be covering some subreddits. we really haven't touched on much. There's a bunch of advice subreddits. - Nice. - So we're gonna be hearing a lot of people's situations. A lot of 'em are asking for advice. A lot of the advice is given in the comments. that might be very illuminating for all of us. But I think there's a lot of fun conversation topics. that are gonna come about from all of these things. - Perfect. - Great. All right. - Load it up. - All right. - Saddle up.

(Shayne imitates gun cocking). (Damien gasps). (everyone laughs). It's always gonna be like, have you tried shooting it? (Shayne laughs). - Kill it. - Kill it with a gun. - Here we go. Our first post. This was posted back in February of 2020. They said, "We are doing a podcast with a friend, "and he's telling the entire 'Dragon Ball' timeline. "We've been here for 50 minutes and it doesn't stop. "How can we politely tell him that he's been talking. "for way too long?". - Wait, so he's like literally typing. as the guy's talking about it? - It's a very short post. Yeah. So he's typing this,

he typed this out while they're doing the podcast. - The other guy's in the zone, not even paying attention to the fact. that they're on the phone. - Just locked in on "Dragon Ball.". - 50 minutes doesn't sound like that long. - Well, he's probably not finished with "Dragon Ball" yet. - Right. - He hasn't gotten to. "Dragon Ball Z." - Z. Oh yeah. - And then there's "GT" which is like a different timeline. - And then it's "Super," right? - "Dragon Ball Super.". There's all the movies. There's like the Broly movie. - Ooh yeah. Well, I hope he covers that. - Yeah, he's gotta do that. - He's gotta cover that. - And if he wants to really get into it, he's gotta do "Dr. Slump,". which is what Akira Toriyama made before "Dragon Ball.".

- I've never heard of this. - Yeah, it's about a little robot girl named Arale. There's a lot of poop humor. It's more like childish. - Oh, okay. - See, it sounds like you could use 50 minutes. - It sounds like I need that. - Dang. Okay. - So they write, "When we tell him that he's taking up all the conversation, "he just laughs and says it's content. "We're kind of trapped here and cannot say anything. "How do we break it to him? "This is no joke. "This is serious. "Mods, if this is too trivial for this sub, "just delete this post. "I'll understand. No problem.".

Okay, so they're in a real sticky situation. where they're filming a podcast. They're trying to get him to stop, but he continues going. We don't know what podcast this is. 'cause if it's an anime podcast, I'm like, hey man, par for the course. - In the comments they find Joe Rogan talking. about "Dragon Ball" for 50 minutes. (Shayne laughs). He's just like, "So this Goku-". - Jamie, pull up "Dragon Ball Z.". - I can't imagine they have a like central theme. to their podcast and/or have done this very long. because if this is a regular thing, it's a problem, or if it's a one time thing...

This feels like the first episode. Like, let's sit down and do a podcast finally. This might be an incompatibility thing. - This might be the first and last podcast of this podcast. - Yeah. Yeah, this might be tough. - I was gonna say, there's so much opportunity on TikTok for one person. to talk to you about a niche interest for 50 minutes. That guy will be by himself and do just fine. - To be clear, this is borderline an episode on Smosh Games. where Spencer just explains the "Resident Evil" timeline. - Which was great, by the way. I'm never gonna play number six and so I-.

- No, you're right. People will watch it. - I watched that whole damn thing. - People watch that shit. - And I hate Smosh Games. (everyone laughs). - And I hate Spencer. - Yeah, yeah. No, that's... I mean, like, it doesn't matter. (Shayne laughs). Like, just-. - Doesn't (beep) matter, man. - Just delete the podcast after. Just like sit there, go on your phone. - [Shayne] Wow. - Delete the podcast. - I think the like the real advice I can give, 'cause before I was just like, what are they doing? Real advice, like if they are friends. and they really wanna make this work,

think about why you want this friend with you. and just, you know, appeal to that. and be like, "Dude, Jake," I don't know, "you're so good at like, you know, "making these insightful comments,". or like, "You're so funny when you banter. "back and forth like this, "and like obviously you got a lot. "of 'Dragon Ball' knowledge, "but like we don't really get to have those moments, "and if we want this podcast to be a cool thing, "I think what we have going for us is your relationship. "with this or your insight on this.". You know-. - It needs to be a conversation. - Yeah. - Heard that's what podcasts are.

- If people wanna, like, if people want to yap, I mean, I think that's a good point of like TikTok. or have your own like YouTube channel. Like, people love to watch people yap. about one specific interest- - Love a deep dive. - For like four hours. Like, I know I do. So I feel like that's more of the medium for that. Like, if you wanna talk about the entire timeline. of "Dragon Ball Z," I'm kind of seated for that. - Oh yeah. This guy's actually missing out. - Yeah. - He needs to make his own YouTube channel. Just do this, the entire "Dragon Ball" timeline explained.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - I know there's probably already a million of those videos. out there, but it sounds like he's ready to do this himself. - There are. - Yeah, there's probably other people who've done it better, but he could do his own-. - Yeah. - [Shayne] For fun. - Yeah. - For shits and gigs. - Find your niche. - Yeah, I think he's misunderstanding the point. of a podcast. - Yeah, no, he's being very, he's being shitty to his co-hosts. - Like you'd said before, that's the bigger issue of someone being like, "Hey man, we wanna have a conversation,". and being like, "It's just content.". Like... - No. - You're like, well, yes, it is content. Whether it's good or bad is the question.

- Comments. So people responded to this guy and they said, "Let's be honest, "the 'Dragon Ball' timeline is pretty interesting.". OP said, "It sure is, "but the other guys don't care about anime. "or anything about that after all. "It was interesting for a good 20 minutes, "but then after an hour we got really tired.". Damn. So it's not even an anime podcast. It's not even about that. Someone said, "Have the great idea of making it a live podcast. "Tell him, 'Hold up, got a great idea. "'Let's do this live,'. "and tell him you're signing into YouTube.

"It's something and just prop your phone up. "If he doesn't stop, then tell him he's got it. "and walk away to grab a snack or something. "Let him talk to your phone. "Or just tell him, dude, stop, "that this isn't the point of the podcast.". Someone said, "Turn off the equipment. "We asked you to please stop. "This isn't the content we're interested in producing.". And lastly, someone left a long comment saying, "It sounds like he's trying to fill time, "perhaps because your podcast is open-ended discussion. "with no guidelines. "Try telling him that from the audience's perspective, "they will expect to hear content from all podcasters.

"If you find it awkward, the listeners will too. "Perhaps also work out an agenda before your podcast. "to break up roles and responsibilities for the content. "Decide which topics are discussions, multiple people, "versus rants, one person talking, "versus interview style, structured ask and reply. "I hear some podcasters even announce their agenda. "at the beginning of the podcast. "Maybe have designed roles for facilitator/timekeeper, "snarky comment guy, and deadpan response guy. "Don't just sit down and start talking.

"If there are guidelines and he is not following them, "then say, 'Dude, I am delighted you have passion. "'for the topic. "'We do too. "'Let's follow our agenda. "'so we can showcase all the stuff we plan to cover. "'Maybe some of your content can help fill in our next one. "'Where do you want to cut off for today?'". - I think that's a good point of like having an actual plan. - Sure. - 'Cause if it is a completely unstructured podcast, then like you are kind of asking for a situation like this. You know, if you didn't set those guidelines-.

- Especially when you asked this friend to be on the pod. I mean, I wonder if this is not par for the course. for this friend. - Yeah. - It's like, oh, well I invited my buddy. who goes on rants about anime for hours on end. - Yeah. - Like, oh, well he did the thing. - A completely quiet finance guy, and the moment he's got a microphone, he's just like, "So Goku. "He's this little boy with a monkey tail.". - Check this out. Update. - Oh! - "Everything's fine now. "I did the presidential debate thingy. "after one hour counting down from three and saying, "'It's someone else's time to talk for an hour now.'".

- God. - (beep). - They fixed the friendship, but that probably didn't fix the podcast. - No, not at all. - I gotta say Smosh Games, which I know you hate and that's okay. - Big hater. The biggest hater. - The biggest hater. They really killed it with the Spencer explains stuff. because like-. - Yeah. - There is no better gift than like getting to go on a rant. about something you love to somebody who's like, "Tell me more about Pokemon. "I don't know anything.". And you're like, "Oh!". Like, it's just-. - I know. - It's the best feeling. And for him to like set it up in a way.

that Angela and Amanda were there and they made it content. and people got to enjoy and learn through him. and all that stuff, like I know we're talking in the future, this was 2020, but if these folks are here now, explain "DBZ" to your friends for an hour. and make it a video. - Yeah. - And it's a delight. - The market's ripe for it. - We primed it for you. - But you need to make sure. that like your friends actually want to hear you rant. about this stuff. - Yeah. - Where these people like clearly did not know.

what they were getting themselves into. - No. - I mean if it's a planned "Dragon Ball Z" rant-. - Yeah. Yeah. - Maybe that's fun. But if it happened by surprise, I love anime. If you were just like, "Surprise. "I'm gonna talk to you for an hour," about anything, I'd have a panic attack. I gotta feel like I can go if I need to. - [Shayne] Right. - Yeah. - Our next story does involve some death and grief. Just letting you know before we get into it. Our next post posted in Advice in August of 2025. "I feel dirty for being included in a coworker's will.

"I'm a 27-year-old man. "and work in lower management at my job. "I've always been an old soul. "and have made friends easier with older folks. "One of my coworkers turned lifelong friends. "is a 67-year-old woman, "formerly a retired police detective of 30 years. "who began working for the company about two years ago. "She has no family, children, siblings, nothing. "We always got along very well and had more in common. "than with the younger people at the job. "I eventually became friends with this coworker. "outside of work and introduced her to my mom, "who's the same age as she is,

"and they also became very close. "Fast forward to this year, "and my friend was diagnosed with stage four kidney cancer. "Inoperable. "She tried to stay at work but ultimately decided to retire. "and quickly degraded health-wise. "over the next couple of months. "She passed away this week, "and I found out that she left me her fairly new SUV. "along with an investment that I'm yet to learn the sum of. "My mother was also included in the will. "and was left $350,000 with the instruction-". - What? - "To buy a home and move in with me.

"so I can take care of her as she ages. "and have a home to raise a family in or sell in the future. "In total, that's almost half a million dollars. "being left to us. "She was also very close with another of my coworkers, "a woman my age, and left her the deed to her $400,000 home. "I only know this because I was around. "while the will was being discussed. "Whether she tells anyone is her decision, "but I'm airing it out anonymously here. "I feel all kinds of emotions, obviously sadness. "because I just lost a close friend to a horrible disease,

"joy because my life is being changed. "for the better in an instant, "and also the point of this post guilt. "I know that most of my other coworkers were unaware. "of our friendship outside the workplace. "And I feel like it may be seen as highly inappropriate. "Rumors will swirl by others. "if a 27-year-old man in a position of power. "at work inherits a hefty sum from a female coworker. "who is much older and worked as my immediate subordinate. "I know that the obvious choice is not to tell anyone, "but I don't know how to keep it a secret. "when I show up in a new vehicle that was previously hers.

"and when I inevitably have my other coworker friends. "over to my new home. "They know that I've always lived paycheck to paycheck. "And suddenly buying a home. "will certainly spark conversation. "My best friend is also a coworker. "in a different department. "And while I love the guy, "I know if I tell him about the money, "he's gonna let it slip. "to the rest of the workplace eventually. "I guess my question. "is should I keep the inheritance a secret, "lying to my friends to hide the situation? "Or should I just stay quiet and tell people the truth. "if they end up asking me about it? "My mother has already told me to keep it a complete secret,

"even to other family. "But I don't know if it's necessarily healthy. "to live like that, "hiding things from friends and family. "simply because it's an unusual circumstance. "What would you guys do in my situation? "I do not want to come off as bragging if I do tell people, "and I'm afraid how workplace jealousy. "could affect the way my employees treat me. "Any advice would be greatly appreciated. "Thank you.". - Okay. - Okay. - I think I figured it out. - Okay. - Because I think like keeping a secret like that.

eats you up inside over time. And like I would never want to keep something like that. from people and like keep having to lie to people. But I don't think people need all the information. I think you could say, "I had a very close friend pass away, "and they willed this to me.". And, you know, it's not like everyone's gonna like ask you. about this new house right away. So there is like plausible deniability.

that it is this friend specifically. But if people are like, "Wow, this is a great house. "How did you get this place?". You're like, "Well I had a very close friend that passed away. "They willed it to me.". That's all they need to know. They're not gonna go, "Who?". You know, like, I think people won't pry. And I think regarding the car, like unfortunately I think just sell it. Sell it. Get a different car. That way you don't have that connection. 'cause that was the first thing I thought of is like, oh, there's no way they're gonna know. But it's like you're driving up. in your former coworker's car, that's a bit of a red flag.

So I would say, yeah, sell the car. Keep the place. Just say it was a very close friend. - If we're going on this route of like tell a half truth. or keep some of it secret, she was also the mom's close friend, right? So you could say, "Oh, a close friend of my mom's passed away, "and like my mom inherited all of this stuff.". - Family friend. - Yeah, like, it's of those things. where like nobody is entitled to know this stuff, right? Like, technically. But it's also really uncomfortable.

This reminds me of a lot of the stories I hear. about when people win the lottery. - Yeah. - And how that is an actual (beep) nightmare. - Oh yeah. - Like, it is terrifying shit. So like coming about a large inheritance of money. in any way or form, this is the type of advice I do here of just like, yeah, however you can to keep it secret. Do I like that in my head? No. Like, I am someone who doesn't like to keep secrets at all. I would feel really weird about it. But I also understand what they're saying is like,

oh, I'm worried that everybody at my work. is gonna treat me differently. It's like-. - Yeah. - And I don't know this guy, I don't know his workplace, but I'm just like... - I'm curious of how closely people interact. and work with one another. because if this person who passed away, you know, they're like, "Oh, that's her SUV.". It's like, well how unique is the SUV? - [Shayne] Right. - Show up in a GMC Yukon or whatever, people are gonna be like, "That's hers!". - Right. - On top of that, like I know for me, so I'm maybe projecting here,

guilt comes up a lot when, if you boil it down, I don't have control over something. or there's another emotion that's very difficult to process. Guilt for me means like, oh, if I'm guilty about this then I'm actually, there's something I could have done, then I'm actually in control about this, then it's my choice that this happened. You know, they didn't befriend this person. to inherit something from them. They just had an older friend who passed away. And, you know, if they wanted to, you know,

send their money elsewhere or give it to a relative. or something like that, they would've done it. The fact that this person, a younger person gave this older person the time of day. and also became a true friend to them probably meant a lot. And they're like, "This is the best thing I can do.". Like, they were also clearly of sound mind. when they were like, "I am dealing with stage four cancer. "This could be it. "If I go, what do I want to leave behind and to whom?". - Yeah. - So taking the guilt outside of it.

and just looking at it as it is, people don't need to know your situation. Not everybody in that place is gonna go to your home. Not everyone's gonna be like looking at your SUV. with like an eagle eye and being like, "I know what this is.". And, you know, it doesn't have to... I don't know, separate thought, it almost feels like survivor's guilt sometimes, not just in the way of like losing a friend, but like when people do live paycheck to paycheck. in the way things are set up now and people are like, "I don't have money for whatever,". and now you suddenly have all of this money.

- Yeah. - You know? - It's a life changing sum of money. - [Shayne] Right. - Yeah, I definitely understand like the feeling of guilt. of like, did I deserve this? - On the emotional side of things, because I think we're talking about the practical stuff, on the emotional side, it's like, hey, this was her decision. - Yeah. - You feel guilt, right? And you can only do so much. You can't just like be like, "I'm done feeling guilty.". Like, you know? - Of course.

- But it's like, but what you're saying I feel like. is like you can acknowledge in some part of your brain. of like, and that's not warranted. This person made a choice with their free will. and their mind to give you this money. because of the part you played in their life. And they wanted that. Like, that meant something to them to give you this. That probably made them feel some joy at the end to know-. - Absolutely. - That they were doing this for someone.

who was so kind to them and they were close to. - Yeah. I don't know. If I was in that position, it would give me some peace knowing that I was like-. - Absolutely. - Leaving the people that I cared for something. that could change their lives for the better. - I'm also curious about, they brought up like, oh, I don't know if it's appropriate. because they were my direct subordinate. I feel a little bit less strongly. about the power dynamic difference there, simply because this person clearly had so much in savings. or things to pass on. I don't know what the job was.

But if someone's 67 and has, at the very least it sounds like half a million dollars. to pass on to somebody, it's not like, I guess it could, but it's not like the boss is like, "You better work well and leave things to me,". 'cause I don't know. - And they retired. They had to retire early. But I think the subordinate thing only... And maybe I'm off on here, and if I am, like, you know, please let me know. But like that type of workplace dynamic is important. for so many things, right,

where it's like, oh, well if their power could sway you. But it's like she's dying. What does she... She doesn't... You can't really hold anything over her in that stage. Like, she kind of has like a type of free will. in that moment where she's like, "I can make whatever decision. "I'm about to die. "Nobody can coerce me in any sort of way.". She wasn't coerced by him. He had no power over her in that moment. But both because she had so much money already, but also because it's like, what could he have-.

- Sure. - [Shayne] You know, like the only argument-. - I wouldn't want that like scrutiny from my coworkers. if I was in that position. So I think like yeah, I would do... I would take, yeah, a lot of precaution. and not revealing that like, oh, I got this from this person that worked underneath me, 'cause like whether or not it was like totally above board. and like obviously it was. because they had a true friendship, people aren't gonna see it that way.

- He's worried about the perception of it. - And people are so jealous too. Because I mean, what a blessing to like, you know, to like, you know... One day you are living paycheck to paycheck, the next day you're a homeowner. Like, that's the dream for so many people. And if somebody finds out about that in the workplace-. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Like, there's gonna be so much like unnecessary animosity.

towards that person, 'cause like, oh, what did you do to get this? Blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, no way. I would quit. I would quit the job if people found out. - Yeah. It's the unfortunate thing. And I think I feel it with a lot of Reddit stories. where it's like, here's the correct thing. Here's the, oh, this is the right thing. And it's like, and the world is so wacky and weird. and you can do the absolute right thing, but be perceived in a completely different way, and you cannot control that.

And that sucks. And you see that with the situation where it's just like, hey, man, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Some comments. "I would stay quiet and if someone asks, then tell them. "You did nothing wrong, and the woman was your friend. "There is nothing to feel weird about. "You made a difference in her life, "and she returned the favor.". 2,300 up votes. And some responded to that saying, "And truthfully say the house/money was left to your mom, "her friend.". OP responded to that comment as well. "Thank you for the reply and the help. "I'll definitely stay quiet. "But the only reason I feel weird about it. "is because of the boss/subordinate thing.

"I hope that the other people who work under me. "that I like to think of as friends as well-". - Also die and give me their money. - Yeah. - Sorry. Sorry. - "That I like to think of as friends as well. "won't think I did some dirty play to get into the will. "or be jealous and feel left out if they weren't included. "For example, I know that a few weeks before her death, "my friend blocked several of my coworkers on Facebook. "because she always saw them as gossip girls. "and didn't want to be part of it.

"as she tried to enjoy her last days. "They asked me if I knew why they were blocked, "and I just acted oblivious as to not hurt their feelings. "I'm worried the workplace relationships could get tense. "if they also find out that I was close enough with her. "to be treated as a son. "But maybe I'm just overthinking. "Thank you again for the reply and the help.". - Yeah. I mean, I don't think they're overthinking it. - I, sadly... Yeah. It's tough. - It's a valid worry. It's hard. But I very much question what kind of workplace this is.

and what kind of boundaries are in place. - Right. - Because even like Smosh as an example, we are like more close than a lot of workplaces would be, and that goes across like cast is friends with crew, is friends with these people in production, is friends with everybody. Like, and even then there's no like, did you hear the thing about the whatever, or at least not that I've experienced. - No, it's true. I will also say though, like, we're lucky for that. I do think like a lot of workplaces, it's not like...

- But I will say if one of you died. and one of the other of you rolled up in their car, I would know 'cause I know what all you guys drive, okay? So I would know. I'd be like, "Why are you driving my dead coworker's car?". - 'Cause he can't. (Ian laughs). Someone's gotta drive Shayne's cool car. - Someone's gotta drive Shayne's Honda Civic! - Yeah. Yeah. - It will drive forever. - He would want this! I'm like bicep curling while I'm like ghost riding your car. I'm just like,

"Yeah, this is what Shayne would do and would want!". - It is crazy that my Honda Civic will be driving. long after I die. - It probably will. Yeah. - I don't think that's true. - No, it's 'cause that thing's gonna go for like 100 years. - You can go for 100 years. You're a healthy man. - But it's gonna be a tight race. (everyone laughs). It's gonna be-. - A four cylinder. I think you could take it. (Shayne laughs). - I could punch it to death. Someone said, "Sell the car. "Keep the secret.". - Yep. - Oh, that's the name of a self-help book by that person. That's awesome. - Sell the car, keep the secret.

Someone said, "Tell absolutely no one, "not coworkers, friends, or even family. "Warn your mother to do the same. "Never discuss your finances at all. "You need to tell no lies. "It simply is none of their business.". I just like, that's also just very easy, like convenient. It's like, that's awesome. in a world where nobody speaks to you. and ever asks you questions. Like, I'm just like, it's this thing of like, yes, that is fair and just, and the world is not that. - If you're gonna keep the secret.

and like be, you know, fully clandestine about it, I think what would be fun. is if anytime someone mentions her name, you just sort of look off in the distance. and start sweating. and like if you're holding something, like drop it. and be like, "Oh yes, Margarite. "I knew her.". And just, you know, if people are gonna talk anyway, lean into it. - Build into the "Knives Out," you know? - Yes. 100%. Be like, "I don't even have a space in my backyard.". - Never fit. - Soil is so hard. I couldn't bury anyone. - Lastly, someone said, "People will always talk. "The sad loss of your friend could be an important reminder.

"not to spend any of whatever time you have left. "on others' opinions. "Take care of yourself, be gentle with your grief, "and feel proud and fortunate that your friendship. "and presence in another wonderful human's life. "meant that in her final moments, "she chose to honor everything you. "and your relationship meant to her. "and to celebrate both. "with a gift of life changing generosity. "While I obviously don't know either of you, "I imagine she would want you to feel peace. "and deep appreciation for who you are.". That's very sweet. - You know, occasionally Reddit has a good comment.

(Shayne laughs). Pretty good. That was pretty solid. - No, I mean, I definitely think OP should, I hope they find solace and like peace. and like resolution in this whole thing. But I also simultaneously do think there is something. to the comments that are advising. for like some conscientious movement in their next actions. Like, I hate to say it, but it's just like, yeah, be smart. Be smart about it. - Yeah. I also hope they got some like financial advice.

from a professional because-. - It's a lot of money. - It's a lot of money. and like, yes, get a house, that's great. But if it's a $350,000 down payment, that better damn well not be the 10% minimum. That better be like a lot of it. You know, keep the car, sell the car, whatever. But like it doesn't have to be like, yeah, if I show up in all these like fancy watches. and like Gucci slides, like I'm like really hoping they don't think. of me differently. Like, no, just let it change your life. Don't be... - Right. All right, get ready for a bit of a tone shift.

- Oh no. - Our next story comes from... (crew laughs). Stupid. - [Shayne] Nice. - Thanks. - Our next one was posted on Ask Men, and it was posted in 2019. They ask, "How many kindergartners do you think. "you could personally take on in a fight. "before being overpowered?". - Dude. - "Stipulations and context. "Number one, "the kindergartners are released five at a time. "every 30 seconds.". - Oh my god! - "Number two, "the arena is a standard sized classroom,

"let's say 40 feet wide by 25 feet deep. "However, the room is completely empty. "Three, the kindergartners are unarmed. "They're just going to run at you. "attempting to punch, kick, bite, and scratch you. "Their ultimate goal is to cumulatively dog pile on you. "and pin you to the ground. "If they can pin you for 15 consecutive seconds, you lose. "Four, you have to knock a kindergartner unconscious. "in order to defeat them. "Once they are knocked unconscious, "they vanish from the classroom arena.

"Five, you can use any strategy you want to fend them off, "but you are also unarmed. "and you are not allowed to leave the room.". Okay. - So there's no weapons. - There's no weapons. - There's no objects in the room. - I guess there's no objects in the room. that you could pick up and use. So you just gotta... - Can you hurl them through a window? - I wonder. - And out of the arena? - Ooh. - See, I'm thinking... He should've stipulated that. - That's the thing, when they say there's like no, it's otherwise like an empty, you know, classroom,

I'm like, there goes any like, you know, obstacle advantage you might have. - Yeah. They say you have to knock the kindergartner unconscious. in order to defeat them. - And see, unlike this realistic situation, that's some movie stuff where like, you know, you're just like ah ta, and then they just pass out. Like, that doesn't happen. That's a severe concussion, especially at that young age. - But it says once they're knocked unconscious, they vanish from the classroom arena. So they do just poof outta there, kind of like, you know, video game style. - God, man, I don't know.

- So these aren't real kindergartners, they're a simulation of-. - Right. They're sim kindergartners. Okay. - Just cut that part out, and then the rest of the conversation. looks like we're (beep) monsters. - Let's establish, it would not be fun. - No. No one wants to beat up 100 kindergartners. - I don't like the idea of hurting anyone or anything, but, you know, there's the ones of like, oh, would you rather fight a human-sized duck. or a duck-sized human. Or no, I forget what it is. Oh, it's like 100 ducks or one giant duck.

or something like that. - It's a human-sized horse or a horse-sized duck. or whatever. - That's right. Yeah. Stuff like that. Ah, whatever. But I'm like, I don't wanna do any of that. I don't wanna fight those things. But realistically I think I'm losing pretty fast in this. - I think so too because like-. - I think five probably-. - If five can like grapple you all at once, then you're just kind of like... I mean, like a kindergartner's pretty heavy. - Yeah. 'Cause if five, like I remember like-. - If one latches onto your arm, right, that's like what, 50 pounds? - Yeah. - It's funny,

that's the number I literally just landed on in my head. I'm like, gotta be like what, 50 pounds? But it's also not just that, it's like the fact that they're running at you. with so much like oomph. You know, it can take the most minor thing in the world. to like tweak your back and then you're just-. - True. - Like, imagine like if you got little nieces or nephews. when they're just like, "Ha ha ha! Catch me!". And you're like, "Oh, okay, buddy.". That can be enough. - Yeah, it's intense. No, at one point I remember my niece. had latched onto my leg. You know, like kinda that thing where it's like, oh, like walk and I'll like, you know, and so I'm like walking while she's like on my leg,

and I'm like, oh, I can barely move now. - That's why I feel like you need like a-. - So that's two there, two on the arms, and then the other one's just punching your face. - Yeah, yeah. Or like biting you or something. - Oh yeah, no. I'm losing. If I'm being honest here, I'm losing. - I might lose in round one. Yeah. In round one possibly. - [Shayne] Yeah. - But if you give me like a push broom or something, then I think-. - A what? - Like a push broom. - I forgot you haven't had a job outside of Smosh. (Damien laughs). - I've just never heard it referred to as a push broom.

- Yeah, you need like some, like you need like a weapon to keep them like at a distance, you know? And like scatter them. - This is literally like a, what's that one game? What's the kung fu game where you beat up a bunch of people. and you can grab like items. - "Sifu" maybe. - "Sifu.". Yeah. No, 'cause in "Sifu" I would always grab brooms. That shit was so fun. - Yeah. You gotta keep 'em at a distance. But if you don't have anything, they just close distance on you. and latch onto you like little monsters.

- You'd have to, or if there's like desks, as they're charging you like jump up onto a desk, get a good kick in. - Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - 'Cause otherwise you're dealing. with a real like height differential thing here. where like they're so small. You're not like, oh I'm just gonna whack 'em away. It's like you kind of either have to get on their level. or use a kick of some kind. - Right. - But there are no, you know, there's no anything in the room. Are they coming at you all at once? Is that-. - Five at a time. - [Damien] Five at a time. - And I'm wondering do they come from all angles? - Is it like old timey British army in a line or-.

- I'm thinking the door opens and five rush in. - Yeah. - Okay. - I think, okay, so here, okay, so I think you might need to start it. with like a football charge. Like, you charge at them as they're charging at you, so you nail at least two of 'em. Send them sliding across the floor like 20 feet. Then you got like three-. - Like 20 feet. Yeah. - Yeah. I mean, for me it'd be more like 30 feet, but-. - Not how big the classroom is. - But then you're dealing with maybe three. while the two are like, you know, trying to recover.

- [Shayne] Right. - Then maybe you can like, you know, two latch on your arm, you got one here, then you got this one's free. You go (grunts). You know, like take a knee to one of their heads. - Right. I think you're under... Also what is giving me some thought. is like you can do the classic move. where you grab two of their heads and go bonk. - Knock them out. The Mike Tyson with the pigeons except aggressively. - Yeah. - I'm gonna say something I think is kind of awful, but I've been more quiet on this part.

and it's 'cause I've been in the noggin. and trying to think. about how you would actually have to do it. I think the only way you're gonna survive. more than one round is to play on their fear. - True. - Oh. - I think 'cause, it's what you have on you. There's nothing around you. They're all coming at you. They can barrel into you. I think first one near you, you need to catch. and like just make an example of. (everyone laughs). - Oh my god. Like, you just grab them by the mouth and just-. - I'm not even saying, I'm not even saying what it would be. I don't want those kind of thoughts to enter my brain.

of like violence. I just am like, it would have to be like-. - So shock and awe. - I'm saying-. - Shock and awe. - Vlad the Impaler of like, they're marching on your army. and then they see like 10,000 of your own guys. They're like, is this who we're about to fight? Let's go home. It has to be something like that. because I'm gonna get tuckered out real fast. Like, forget the amount of therapy. I'm gonna need afterwards. - Well, these are sim children. They're not real. - Your body's not gonna know. - It's still, it's real to me. - You're gonna dreams about it. - Here's the problem. That argument doesn't work because these are sim children. I'm thinking they're not feeling fear.

I don't think they feel fear. I don't think they're real. - If they don't feel fear, do they feel adrenaline? 'Cause if they don't feel adrenaline, that goes out the window, we're winning. - I don't even know if it takes adrenaline. - When you were saying like you gotta make them like afraid, my thought went to a much more innocent thing. of like dress up as a dentist. - You don't have a dentist outfit. - Yeah, that's true. - It's not in the classroom. - Yeah. - I don't wanna fight these kids either. - Or like a barber. 'cause like kindergartens hate getting their hair cut maybe.

I don't know. - [Damien] That's true. - Yeah. Look, let's see what the comments say, okay? - Yeah, we gotta see what the comments say on this. - That's why I always keep a clown mask in my back pocket. - OP commented, "No moral constraints at all. "The only things that exist are you. "and an unlimited number of kindergartners coming at you.". Okay, buddy, yeah. Oh yeah. Okay. He's like, "Actually just don't feel bad about it.". Someone said, "Why is everyone so obsessed. "with the idea of picking one up as a weapon?". - I did think about that. - "This would be an extreme waste of energy.

"Picking up and lugging around an extra 50 pounds plus.". - We all think that. - I hate that we all knew that that was-. - Everyone in the comments. comment how much you think a kindergartner weighs. - They're all gonna say 50 pounds now. - [Ian] Don't cheat. - Here's how I arrived there though. I was kind of a larger like second grader. I remember having that as the moment that I was like, "Oh, am I the chubby kid?". And I think I was like 89 to 90 pounds in second grade. So I was like, okay, so what would be like normal for a kid? I'm guessing like maybe 70.

And then, okay, so that's two years prior. I'm gonna say 50 pounds. So just, I don't know, sorry. - "Just using kicks or punches would do the same thing. "and conserve way more energy.". 6,000 up votes. Someone said, "Every fifth and 10th wave. "there's a third grader boss to assist them.". - I love that. - Someone said, "I've got a huge advantage. "and a huge disadvantage. "I'm a big guy. "That comes with strength but a lack of cardio capability. "I'd need to destroy each wave fast. "so I could have a small breather between waves.

"So is it allowed to just drop onto the five children, "like full on fall? "I reckon I could spark three out. "and kill two with each fall.". - Spark? Spark three out? - "As long as they line up nicely on the spawn. "Being bigger, it'd take more to pin me too, "but there isn't an infinite number that I could beat. "Maybe 15 to 20 waves.". - Wow. - "After wave 10 I'd be getting tired, "and I reckon it'd take 25 kids to effectively pin me. "So 15 20 waves survived.".

Okay, I think people really underestimate-. - Yeah. - This shit. 'Cause have you ever heard about when people are like, oh you think boxing is like easy. It's like, box for 60 seconds. - Yeah. - And you are dying on the mat. Like, it is so exhausting. For a guy to think he could do 15 waves, I'm like-. - That's absurd. - That is simply silly. - Has he not seen "Weapons"? - Yeah. No, truly. That's what I'm imagining. Okay, these are "Weapons" children.

- Okay. Yeah. - They said no weapons. - No weapons, but the children are weapons. Unlimited games, no bacon. But no, these kids are coming for you. and they're going to rip your face off. - Yeah. - I also think people underestimate. how much it takes to get really knocked out. Like, yes in a boxing match, if you get hit just right, they're like, oh, it's a total knockout, whatever. But like these kids have to be unconscious. I think they're thinking of like, I kick this one, it's down, I kick this one, it's down. - [Shayne] No. - Nope. You're gonna have a lot more. - Lastly, someone said, "I would say max three minutes. "before I am too tired, so 25 to 30." (laughs).

- Jesus. - Someone said, "Finally a realistic answer.". No, the realistic answer is it's probably over immediately, because 30 seconds, after 30 seconds, another five enter. - That's insane. - Whether you've defeated them or not. So even if you've defeated a couple children-. - 30 seconds is insane. - Even if you've knocked out a couple of the kids, more come in after 30 seconds, so you're not succeeding. - If they try to sort of like keep away from you, which is another horrible situation for like, I don't know, three minutes to build up their ranks, and then they go for it, you're toast.

- Also the big guy's like, "Oh, if I just fall on them.". It's like falling on them isn't just knock 'em out. He's thinking like some cartoon logic. - Yeah. - He's like, these aren't goombas. (everyone laughs). - Tweety birds around their head. Like, you got me. - [Shayne] Anyways. - I don't like that we had to think about that. - I don't like it either. I much prefer thinking. about how many men it would take to fight a gorilla. - I hated... I hated thinking about that. (crew laughs). I didn't think about that when I was Chuck E. Cheese.

and they were kicking me in the shin at all. - Then you had reason. That's self-defense. - This does remind me though. There's a subreddit that is my favorite subreddit right now. and it has been popping off and it's called Power Scaling. And all they do is they pit fictional characters. against each other. - Yeah. - They go Superman versus Omni-Man, and people are like, "Superman would (beep) crush him.". - Obviously. - And it's just a ton of that, right? They're like, "Oh, you know Black Widow versus some other person, "like who would win in a fight?". And they're constantly doing this. and it's really fun to debate this, especially when they get really niche.

I have one that I really wanna post, but I don't have a Reddit account. But I'm like, okay, think about this power scaling. There is an evil dictator. who gets to have one guest come and stay with them. for a week, and you get to send a fictional character. who you think would do the best chance. of swaying them to good. - Oh. - And I'm like, okay, so it's Ted Lasso versus Paddington. versus like SpongeBob versus like, who would you send that could actually. sway an evil, evil emperor or king or something. - Yeah.

- And I'm like, that's the type of power scaling I want. - Okay. - Like, who's the most powerful of like positive sway. And it's like Paddington's gotta be up there, but I'm like, who else fits that bill, you know? Anyways, comment down below. - I like that a lot though. - This is my power scaling predicament. Who is the most like positive influence? - You think Paddington would sway a dictator? - Tell me "Paddington 4" won't be like, oh, this evil emperor of this nation. It's like, "Oh, Paddington, you were invited to go stay with him.

"for a week.". And he's like, "Oh dear, I don't know what to do.". He's Paul McCartney to me. (laughs). He goes, and then the evil dictator was like, "What's this little bear?". And then he like, after a while he is like, "You know what, I'm a bad guy.". - Sends Paddington off to the gulag. - Jesus Christ. (everyone laughs). - I mean he's already been to jail. He's already been through the jungles of Peru. - I mean, this is all, this is a classic Paddington storyline. But also Ted lasso, you know, it's like maybe he would also like, he'd give him like a, 'cause he's sports guy, you know? I'm trying to think of other characters that fit that trope.

You know what I mean? - Can there be coercion as opposed to persuasion? - Sure. - Light Yagami. - Oh. - Oh. (laughs). - That's a crazy one. That's a good one. - But he's also evil. - Sure. Well, it didn't say-. - Oh okay. - Just gotta change his mind. - Okay. - His goal for the day for whatever reason. - Yeah. Okay. Fair. - I said Ian Hecox. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Yeah. - That was a good one.

No, there was a good one recently. where it was Dexter versus Hannibal, and everyone was like, oh dude Hannibal walks Dexter. And I didn't realize, like people rank this shit and they're like, if you look-. - 'Cause he gets in your mind. - They go based on the lore and the the feats. of like what Hannibal has done versus Dexter. It's fun. I love when it gets out of sight of superhero territory. Our next advice comes from Advice. Posted in May of 2023 on r/Advice. They write, "Boner after bee sting.". - Never been sicker.

Bee sting after boner. - Jesus Christ. (Damien laughs). "Yesterday I traveled to another country. "After I arrived I did some work. "And in the evening as I was heading to my hotel, "somehow a bee got under my shirt. "and I got stung a few inches under the belly button. "It was very painful and the area got swollen. "Weird thing is I got a huge boner right away. "Last night I thought it would go away if I sleep it off, "but to my horror, it's still there as I woke up. "Thought it might be morning wood, but nope.

"That (beep) is raging. "I tried everything. "I'm in another country. "and I have to go out now to do things as scheduled, "and I'll have to deal with the embarrassment. "because I give up. "I just need someone to assure me I'm not going to die. "and it will go away someday.". - This is those commercials. Like, back in the day they had those Cialis commercials. If you have an erection lasting longer than five hours, like seek a doctor. It's that. - That is because, just scientifically here, like the, and I know it's a graphic but sorry,

the blood that is in there that is giving you like the boner. is like after four hours, it's not like circulating. It's starting to like rot. Like, it's not-. - This was in "The Pitt.". - Oh really? I haven't seen it. - This was an episode of "The Pitt.". They have a guy come in with a boner, and "The Pitt" shows the full boner. - Do they have to like suck out-. - They have to drain it. They have to drain it. Not kidding. They (beep) show it. - Yeah, that's a real thing. - They show that shit. Anyways. - It's going down in "The Pitt.". - It's really going down in "The Pitt.".

- Once they drain it. - Once they drain it. - Sorry. - Yeah. Yeah. - Look, I mean... I love how he says, he's like, "I did everything.". It's like, everything? - Everything? (crew laughs). (everyone laughs). - Comments. - I would've had a crazy night, know what I mean? (everyone laughs). - Hey, come on, man. - Where was he? Columbia? - He just said outta the country. - He didn't say anything. He didn't say where he was. - That's crazy. - I don't know why I thought he said he was like in Peru.

or Columbia. - He just said he was. in another country. - They got those dick bees there, huh? - Also, I want to say that I thought the title was. boner after beasting. - Beasting. - Like, when you're all done with-. - After watching MrBeast. - Yeah, yeah, so I was like what's beasting? Okay. Bee sting. - Comments. "If you have an erection for four hours or longer, "you need to seek emergency medical care immediately. "Hope your wiener doesn't fall off." (laughs). - Yeah. - Might. - Might, dude. - So he was just living with that thing for like over a day?

- He went to bed and he woke up and he still had a boner. - Dude. - [Shayne] Not good. Not good. - Nobody can laugh. - Well, if you let it sit there for too long, it does form its own consciousness and face. It's like, "Hello." (laughs). - Good morning, David. - 'Ello there. - Just cockney. - Take me to a urinal. - He would be cockney, huh? - He would be cockney. - Damn. Damn. - Nice. - [Shayne] All right. - Thanks.

- Someone said, "This is an actual medical emergency. "if true. "The blood in your penis is going to run out of oxygen, "which starves your penis tissues. "It can cause permanent scarring. "and irreversible erectile dysfunction. "if left for four to six hours. "If left longer, "it can actually cause total loss of function. "due to the damage. "It doesn't matter what caused it. "The end result is the same if left untreated. "Please go to the emergency room.". It sounds like this bee used horn attack on him. - Hey. - Nice. - Nice. - Dude.

Nice. - Nice. - OP responded to that saying, "Good news. "After 18 hours it's finally back to normal.". - It's only just extremely purple now. - Yeah. It's just really (beep) up. - Very bold thing to just ride out. - Someone said, "This has real tube/cylinder energy.". That is a deep Reddit call out. that we'll have to explain some other time. - Yeah, I don't have that elite ball knowledge. - Cylinder shaped. Just cylinder shaped. Anyways. Someone said,

"Well you should just rename it to your beenis.". - Yeah! (laughs). - I gotta be so real, I was thinking it. - You were thinking beenis. You've thrown out beenis as a word before. - I think so. - Update! - Oh! Does it work still? - They're a bee now. (everyone laughs). - Yeah, this new version of Spider-Man is (beep) up. - Yeah. Bee penis. Update. "I already got a DM asking me what type of bee. "and where exactly was the sting to replicate it. "I'm not going to tell you, buddy. "People die from bee stings.".

Edit number two. "Okay, it's gone. "Thank you for the support.". Edit number three. "I don't have picture proof, you sick (beep).". All right, so I guess they're fine. I guess their bee, their penis survived. - Their beenis. - Their beenis. - Yeah, well I guess we all learned a valuable lesson today, huh, folks? - [Shayne] Yeah. - I gotta find out what country that is and go. - Go there. Those bees. - Just with... - Sounds like it hurt. - Just have it out. - Go to another country, get arrested. (everyone laughs). No, it was a bee! - I'm looking for bees. - A bee did this.

- Like, that was a protected bee. And now you are officially a member of their hive. And now we have to arrest you. - Final story. - Okay. - This was posted in Needed Advice in January of 2020. "Found injured pigeon and housed it. "Now it can fly again and it's flying in my house. "What should I do? "It couldn't fly, "and now it's literally flying around my house. "I'm scared it's gonna fly on me. "Who do I call or what do I do?". - You pick a god and thank them.

- You have a pigeon now. - You have a pigeon now. - Give it a message. The only way it will leave is if you give it a message. and a destination. - I like that their problem is like, help, this bird is doing bird things. - Yeah. - I didn't know it could do that. (Ian laughs). - When I found it it was (beep) up and I tried to fix it. and then I did. What do I do? - I thought birds weren't real. Conspiracy. (crew laughs). Comments. "Open all the doors and windows to outside.". What if a bunch of other pigeons fly in? - Yeah. - Yes.

That's how they get you. - Becomes a pigeon party. Yeah, and you don't want that. - Someone said, "Check out if there's a pigeon. "and dove friendly rescue near you. "They do exist, believe it or not. "They can help and get your feathery new friend. "to a safe place.". Lastly, someone said, "Open your door and put food outside.". OP said, "Like, let it go outside now?". Someone responded, "Yes. "It's healed. "It wants to go back outside.". - Yeah. What does he expect? What does he want? - Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. I'm saying like, they're like, "I'm gonna fix this pigeon. "that can't, you know, do anything.

"Okay, it's fixed. "Now what do I do?". I'm like... - Let it it outside, man. Or adopt it. - Yeah. I mean, look, that one obviously grew up elsewhere, but pigeons in general were domesticated by humans. And that's why it's so sad. that they just sort of like chill on the streets. and are like, "We don't know what to do.". It's 'cause they're not meant for that. So, you know, most of my for you page. is just birds in general, but a lot of it is just like pet pigeons or rescue pigeons. and things like that. And I love it. Thank you, algorithm.

But yeah, dude, damn. You should have had a step two to your plan. - Really should have thought this through. I mean, you did a good deed, but you should have assumed that the bird was gonna fly. - What if it flies on me? I don't know. Let it do-. - I don't know. It's a pigeon. - Yeah, right? - We have a little update. It's just a couple edits. They go, "Edit. "Thanks, everyone. "I let it go. "It walked around for a minute, then flew away. "If I could figure out how to post a picture here, I will. "It was a pretty bird. "It had purple and bluish green on it.". So they're learning how photos work too.

- They're also learning what a pigeon is. Gray with some bluish and green. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I think I've seen a pigeon that looks like that, that matches that description exactly. - I've seen this one for sure. - Had feathers. - Yeah. Yeah. - Edit number two. "(beep) the asshole who thinks I'm helpless. "I was wondering at first. "if I should call an animal habitat place. "I wasn't sure if it was all the way healed, "but it did well once my friend put it outside. "I have muscular dystrophy. "and can't open my windows because it's very hard. "and I live alone, "let alone push all the screens out. "because I can't bend down to retrieve them.

"My friend came over and got 'em out for me. "Besides my physical disability, I am perfectly fine.". - That one is on me that. I mean, I guess I had assumed not, I didn't realize the OP had muscular dystrophy. and couldn't do the things that were-. - Well, we didn't know. Yeah, we literally didn't know. - We didn't know that. - We didn't know. - I'm curious how long this person. was rehabbing this pigeon. - 45 minutes. - 'Cause yeah, 'cause it's like, yeah, like these things will happen sometimes. where like a bird will get injured.

I had a friend that these like seagulls made a nest. in their chimney and then the baby seagulls dropped down. into their fireplace. There was no fire. But it was like, what do we do with these like birds? - [Shayne] Right. - And you, you know, immediately call around, see if you have like a local rehabber. or if your city has like, what do you call it, animal control.

And yeah, they showed up and they took them. - Yeah. - But it almost, this person's making it sound. like they were like rehabbing this pigeon themselves. for a while. and then was like, "What should I do after several days?". - Yeah. I also think, you know, I know they're looking for advice, but I think this could be a lesson in clear communication. because it like frankly, the beginning of the post. did sound helpless where it's like a bird is flying. What if it flies on me? It's like, homie, I don't know.

But now that it's like I have muscular dystrophy. and I've raised this pigeon so that it can fly again. I'm not sure what the next step is. Is it appropriate to let it outside. or should I call an animal control? I would also have difficulty grabbing the pigeon. - It's like, all right, thank you for the information. - That's important. - It's like, oh, well let it walk outside. It's like, oh, I'm actually living on a boat. and I'm in the middle of the ocean. It's like, oh, well, you know, that's good information to have. You know, like we kind of need that to... If you're seeking advice, you should really give us the details. - [Damien] Yeah. - Ultimately, this is a silly conundrum to have,

but I also understand that when you have a bird. in your house that is very intense. That feels like a lot, right? - I think an unexpected bird. - Unexpected bird. But they had the bird, they brought the bird inside, and then it became a thing. - Also thing to know, a lot of these wild birds, they got these like mites on them. and you let those into your house. - Yeah. - And then you could have yourself a problem. - I had a bird mite infestation. and that required me to be out of my living space.

for a while while it was fumigated. - [Ian] Yeah. - And it's the saddest thing in the world because I, yeah, actually sadder than everything is what I mean to say. There was like a bird nest. that would be outside of one of my windows. like all the time. And it was like from, you know, these birds laying eggs there and having babies. Recently I noticed some like birds scoping out the same area. and I had to like completely bird proof that area, which was the most like heartbreaking thing to me. 'cause I'm like, I've loved watching these baby birds.

grow up every year. Like, it happened every year. And I'm just like (sighs). - Set up a little house on a tree maybe next-. - As long as they're distant. - Something. I don't know if those birds like to nest in bird houses. - [Shayne] Yeah. - It's just something to keep in mind. Birds got mites. And like you said, like, didn't they have to like heat your place up, like to a certain like degree? - Yeah, they were like, "We gotta cook every living thing in your place, "so it's gonna be like 150 degrees in here, "so you gotta be out.".

- And then you get a bunch of Swedish guys chilling in there. 'cause it's like a sauna. - Yeah. They're like-. - They're just there with towels suddenly. - Listen up, Sven. - Get outta here. - Get outta here. - It's truly sound advice. that no matter how good your intentions are, to be very smart about bringing a wild animal. into your home. No matter what. - Yeah. And I think like with animals, like oftentimes, like they don't even want you to bring them inside. Like, you're not even supposed to bring them inside I think.

Like, for a lot of animals, they say like, you get like a shoebox and you kind of like lightly cover it. or something for like birds. - That's what I did for a baby possum I found. - Yeah. - Shoebox and like a little t-shirt in there. and some like scraps. - Yeah. Yeah. But like you shouldn't bring a wild animal-. - Be careful bringing things inside. - Yeah, don't bring a wild animal into your house. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Like, oh, I got this cute doggy, and it's a coyote. - Right. But look, OP, in this situation, OP did, it sounds like they helped save a pigeon. - They did a great thing.

- It's very nice. - And what I love about this post too. is the fact that they don't have photos. It feels more legit in a way. because every time you see a video where it's like, "I helped this bird that was in a vat of acid,". and there's like footage of it floating there. in the vat of acid, I'm like, go get it! Go get it! Like, why are you filming? And it's always so weird watching those moments. where you're like, what is the deal here? Is this in any way staged? What did you do? - [Shayne] Right. - The fact that they're like, "I found it. "There was no time to take photos. "I don't even know how to do it.". - Yeah. I was too busy saving them.

- Saving a life! - Yeah. - All right. Well that's it. That's all our stories. - Wow. I feel like we really changed people's lives. with our advice today. - I'd say probably 10 for kindergartners. - Yeah. I would get them to turn on each other. - Ooh. Psychologically mess with their heads. - Yes. - That's true. You gotta use that degree. - Psychology. It's what it's for. We had a class on that. Anyways, thank you both for being here. and giving some solid advice. - Hey. - Hey. - No worries.

- You're welcome. - Yeah. - You're welcome. - If you ever, you know, are worried about anything. or something's rough at home, you know, you can always talk to us. - That's right. - We're your counselors. - Thank you, counselors. - We love you. - Okay. - I'd take it or leave it. - All right. Okay. I respect both of you in a way, you know? Community college is weird. - Yeah. - [Shayne] By the way. - I don't even go here, man. (Shayne laughs). - No, I'm not gonna make that joke. (Shayne laughs).

- Jesus. All right. Thank you both for being here and thank you for watching. Hey look, you can take or leave our advice. You don't have to... It's up to you. But do comment down below my power scaling dilemma. because I'm curious. Who is the greatest positive influence? Fictional character. Fictional. - Mr. Rogers. - That's real. It's gotta be fictional. It's gotta be a fictional... - Mr. Rogers. - All right.

- And also how much do you think a kindergartner weighs? - All right, we'll see you next Saturday. Bye. - Enjoy your pancakes. That's what we say here. (chuckles).