Serving Drama | Reading Reddit Stories

- We're back with more Reddit stories. I'm Shayne, and my guests today are Chanse and Amanda. - Hi. - Greetings. - There's a reason you both are here today, and it's because the theme is service industry, and I believe you both have-. (Chanse and Amanda cheer). Yeah, you both have experience. - We're on a rollercoaster. Yay! Whoa. - You both worked in the service industry. - Since I was like 14. - Same. - [Shayne] Yeah. - We both had so many different places that we've worked at. - We've worked at so many different restaurants. - And was it fun?

- I would say yes. - Some places, yes. - Some places were super fun. Like, you were only there for the people. - [Chanse] Yes. - The money wasn't even that good. - Yes... - Okay. - I was always about money first. I was always about money. - No, not me. I was always about people. - Vibe? - Vibes first. - [Chanse] Yeah. - And that's why you work here. - And that's why I work here. (laughs). True. - But I'm sure you have tons of stories of insane customers, insane experiences.

And we're about to hear a bunch from some other people. anonymously on the internet. - Oh, I can't wait. - So let's hop into it. - So is it about restaurants? Restaurants and bars? - It's probably a lot. It's service industry-. - [Chanse] In general. - In general. And it might be from different perspectives. - Fun. - Might be from the perspective of a customer. It might be from the worker. - Oh, the customer. - Oh, I love that. But I don't trust anything, anything the customer says. - [Amanda] Never. - The customer's never right. - They're almost never right. - Never right.

(Shayne laugh). Never. - Like, very few and far between. - Okay, well I think this first one has to do. with a customer. - [Amanda] Great. - So let's see. This comes from Legal Advice. "Regular customer keeps telling us. "that her latte causes seizures.". - Okay, stop drinking the coffee. Stop. (Shayne laughs). Like, one seizure is enough. It must be a really good latte. - [Chanse] Okay. - Okay, let's see what's going on here.

"We have a regular customer at our coffee shop. "that has autoimmune epilepsy. "They claim that when their drink is made wrong, "after we correctly remake it 15 times, "they experience seizures. "I don't wanna be liable for them ordering something. "that causes them to have these seizures. "My coworker and I highly doubt. "that food and beverages cause seizures, "but they order a tiny fraction of an amount of espresso. "in their latte. "It is a half caffeinated beverage, "but every drink made correctly is sent back. "because it tastes burnt. "So we decided on giving them half of a half.

"of a caffeinated shot.". - A quarter. - Yeah, essentially. "We feel as if they're trying to plot against us. "because they have a spreadsheet of workers. "who make their drink right. "Sorry if this was put under the wrong thread. "We all genuinely feel like they want to sue us. "for giving them seizures. "Edit, I'd also like to point out. "that this customer is certainly a problem. "They would stalk a barista from a different location. "and try to convince said barista to not move in. "with her boyfriend before marriage. "The customer ended up finding out.

"where the boyfriend worked. "and tried to get him fired from his job. "Now this customer is at our establishment. "after getting banned from their previous location. "People in our region that have worked in our company. "for 10 plus years say that this customer. "has always been a problem. "As a supervisor, "I had spent a whole hour working on their drink. "15 plus drinks later, no solution. "They ended up just taking the last drink. "because they realized it was a waste of their time. "Next day, they asked for five remakes of their drink. "I got fed up and told them that I'll call them an ambulance.

"if they get another remake, "that or I can issue you a refund. "because we are not going to come to a solution. "if we keep going. "They agreed to a refund, and have now consecutively asked. "for refunds these past two or so months.". So quick note about this. We don't know this person's medical history, nor do we know where this story is based. And, you know, laws, whenever it comes to legal advice, laws depend on where you live. Usually in Legal Advice posts,

they state what state they're in. because that affects the advice that people give. We're not here to give legal advice. 'cause we're not, you know, we don't-. - Lawyers. - Yeah, but this just in general sounds brutal. - Stop serving them. - I know. - Sounds like the last place did. - What are you supposed to do about that? Because it is weird that they stalked a person. Like, that's like, okay? But also too burnt? - That's the beans.

- Yes, no, I know, but like how does that, how did that correlate to you having a seizure? - Yeah. - Does that mean like too burnt means too much espresso. for this person? - This person needs to get a life. - Yeah, I don't know what's going on there. - Yeah, I mean, this sounds like extreme behavior. The stalking stuff is like-. - It's way too much. - Dude, oh my god. Like, who cares about the remaking of the drink. at that point. - [Chanse] Yeah. - We're talking about something else here. - Also the spreadsheet. - The spreadsheet was the biggest red flag, honestly. - I would not wanna be-. - Forget the stalking. The spreadsheet.

- Spreadsheet. - This person sounds frankly lonely, and they're just obsessed and like this is their spot. and this is the most human interaction they have. - To be honest, I feel like. that's exactly what I think it is. I think that they're lonely. and this is how they wanna have interaction. When I worked at Dunkin Donuts back in the day, there was a woman who had so much sunscreen on her face, so much sunscreen on her face, and she would be there my entire shift, like start to finish. And she would always come up and complain about her coffee.

And she was like... (Chanse groans). - At Dunkin Donuts? - At Dunkin Donuts. She would say that it was-. - I expect craft coffee. - She would say that it was burnt. And I was like 15 years old, so I was like, "Oh, I wanna make this woman happy.". She would never, ever tip. But she was always there every shift. And finally my manager was like, "We can't keep remaking her coffee. "She's just here every day." - Yeah. - First in, like last out. - You gotta set healthy boundaries. - Yeah.

She just needed a friend. - As I said, the medical aspect, we don't know. We don't know these people. But I do think for a lot of people. who ask to have drinks remade very consistently, I can't help but think it's a little bit of a high they get. - Yeah. - Like, from a little bit of power. - It's the pickles guy from "SpongeBob.". (crew laughs). - Wow. - Who's that? - There's no pickles on my sandwich. - [Amanda] Ew! (everyone laughs). Yuck, yuck, yuck. - Comments here.

"Not a lawyer, but I have epilepsy. "It makes absolutely no sense. "why someone would risk a seizure. "over a coffee drink not being prepared properly.". - Correct. - "Taste and smell alone is no indicator. "if a food or drink will trigger a seizure. "If the customer's seizures are triggered so easily, "they should take proper precautions.". Someone responded to that saying, "100%. "I also have epilepsy and avoid anything. "that can trigger me like the plague. "The only way she could tell if the drink is wrong. "is by tasting it, which could cause a seizure. "There's no way I'd risk that. "And I'd say most people with epilepsy. "would have similar sentiments.".

Someone else said, "Sometimes you have to fire the customer." (laughs). Someone said, "Three remakes. "You get three. "After the third one, it's, 'I'm terribly sorry, "'but we're unable to accommodate you. "'Here's a refund.'" - Boom. - "Please leave. "15 plus lattes is them just straight up (beep) with you. "What a terrible tool.". - Three? - Three. Two. - No. You get the first one, you get the remake. Nope, this is what we've given you. This is the try again. We're not trying three times.

Sorry. - Same. Also my favorite thing to do is when you have the person. that always asks for a remake, you know what I started doing after a while? I'd be like, "Oh my god, you're so right. "I'll remake it," and I go in the corner. - [Chanse] Oh, yep. - And I shake it and I give it right back. And I'm like, "Here you go.". And they're like, "So much better.". - Yeah, I've done that. I've done that. I pull that bullshit too. - We've had stories like that. - Well, it's true. - 'Cause they just get a (beep). It's in their (beep) head. - Exactly. - 15 sips, you're done with your coffee. - They took 15 sips of 15 lattes.

They've drank so much coffee just now. - Epilepsy. (Shayne laughs). I'm sorry. - But I agree with these comments. of if you have a very serious medical condition. that could be triggered by a coffee-. - Stop drinking coffee. - I wouldn't trust a barista. - Don't risk it. - A barista's not a doctor. - No. - And that's really scary to have epilepsy. because there's so many things that can trigger it, especially like movies nowadays with like the flashing. But I feel like if maybe just like, yeah, don't.

Just don't. - Yeah, and the responsibility of like movies and stuff. is to let you know, hey, there's stuff in this. But you are going to a coffee shop. You know there's caffeine in it. They're telling you the amount that they're giving you. Obviously this person, like I said, remove the medical stuff, they're a stalker, so I don't really have much empathy for 'em. - That's so the industry though. You meet people that you're like, "How are you walking this planet?". - Yes.

- That's what happens when you work. in the restaurant industry. - 100%. - You're like, "How are you on this planet?". - And also, there's so many times with groups of people. where I'm like, you can't figure out how to pay this check together? Like, you are grown ass adults. - Yes, oh my god. - Like, you have never gone to a restaurant together? Maybe you haven't, but like we are in 2023. - Yes. - You can split it. - Venmo. - Venmo, like, come on now. - Yep. - How are you guys operating in real life? 'Cause that don't make no sense. - Yes.

- I love this next one. - Okay. - Okay, this one's awesome. We might have a legend based on the title, but I might be very wrong. (Amanda laughs). "Am I the asshole because I brought a bottle of ranch. "into a restaurant?". - Absolutely not. That's a legend. You're right. - We'll see. We will see. Maybe we're gonna eat our words here. - How big is the bottle? - Yeah. I've got the ranch. "Last night I went to dinner with Michael. "It was our third date,

"and he took me to one of his favorite restaurants. "It was a hole in the wall Polish/Hungarian place. "We ordered our food, and he ordered a sampler plate. "so I could try different things. "There are very few things I don't eat with ranch. "I just like it. "And it helps make some things easier to eat, "so I always have it with my meals. "When we get our food, I ask for some ranch. "The waiter said they didn't have any. "and offered to bring out some kind of sour cream. "and dill sauces. "I tried them, and they just weren't the same. "I told Michael I'd be right back, "took my wallet and left the restaurant.

"I had seen a convenience store close by when we arrived, "so I went there, bought a bottle of ranch, and came back. "Michael looked shocked. "but didn't say anything and ate his food. "The food was great, and we got some conversation going. "When the waiter came over. "and said outside food wasn't allowed, "I said dressing isn't outside food. "and they didn't have what I needed to enjoy my meal. "I didn't wanna ruin the evening, "so I took it out to my car and returned. "When we finished and left, "Michael thanked me for coming out with him, "but said it was really off-putting. "that I had to leave and go buy a bottle of dressing.

"instead of just going one meal without it.". - Yeah. - "I told him I wouldn't have had to do that. "if they had ranch or any dressings. "like a normal restaurant.". - Oh. - "He didn't walk me to my car or anything and just left. "I went home and told my roommate about my date. "and his attitude, and she asked me if I was being serious. "She thinks I had bad etiquette. "and embarrassed Michael to the point. "that he was probably going to stop talking to me. "I don't think what I did was really all that bad. "It was a condiment, not an entire meal from someplace. "Was I wrong for what I did?".

I redact the legend. - Yeah, definitely not a legend. - Dude, you are judging-. - I thought this was gonna be like Olive Garden. And was gonna be like, "I'm sorry, man. "I know you have ranch, but you don't have enough.". - Yeah, that's funny. - [Shayne] "I need so much ranch.". - They ran out. - You're judging a cultural, like you are judging... - Yeah, already, it's not like a chain restaurant. or anything. It sounds like a mom and pop something-. - It's Polish Hungarian place with dill and sour cream, which is exactly like-. - [Shayne] Sounds delicious. - Sounds amazing. - It sounds really good. The dill sauce. - Then you should've (sighs).

I mean, I don't know... She clearly probably just didn't know. what type of food this was gonna be. This just sounds like someone who very American-centric, like normal restaurant. - [Amanda] Normal restaurant. - Yeah, normal restaurant. - Like, probably has only been to chain restaurants. This is finally like-. - The thing is it's great, it's good on her to like try other things, try new things, but (groans). - Well also, it's not even a matter. of like are you the asshole? It's more like that's just a really dumb thing to do.

on clearly like an early date. - Who is Michael, by the way? - Who is Michael? - I love that he's just consistently Michael. - This person didn't start off strong by just being like, "Last night I went to dinner with Michael.". It's like, what? - The one that got away. - I guess if you're like telling a story, like, "Last night I went to dinner with Seth. "Seth, what you need to know about Seth.". We didn't get any of that. - No, It was just his name. - Zero context. Don't know their age. Don't know what's going on here. Horrible thing to do on a date.

- Also, I think it's a little bit weird. that Michael didn't say anything. to her coming back with ranch. - Yeah, we don't know. - We don't know. I think this person would leave that shit out, but we don't know. But also, I don't know. If someone did that, I'm the type that if I was on a date, and I was like, "Hey, I love this restaurant. "This place is really awesome. "It's this hole in the wall," and you're there, and then she's like, "Do you have ranch?". And they're like, "No.". And she's like, "I'll be right back," and leaves. and comes back with a bottle of ranch that she just bought, I'd be like, "Oh.".

And in my head I'd be like, "I'm about to never talk to you again.". - Yep, I'll sit here for this meal. I'll also point out the fact. that that was crazy what you did in a very jokey, funny way. I'll be like, "You really like ranch.". I'm like, "I hope you like me as much.". - 'Cause it's one thing to be like, "I really have a hard time with maybe the texture. "of a said food or something.". But to be like, "I can't eat something without ranch" is so intense. - I guess I'm like-. - Because ranch doesn't even have that much flavor. - No, it doesn't. I feel like I need to solve it.

I feel like I would have to be like, "Really? "You really went out and got ranch? "I'm so embarrassed.". I would've been so embarrassed. - Yeah, oh, 100%. - Yeah, I'd say it's also for me, what it often is is not necessarily the action, but how you back up that action, and saying like "normal restaurants". and like fighting back to the waiter. like when the waiter's like, "No outside food,". and they're like, "It's a condiment.". I'm like, that's almost more the red flag to me. than going and getting the ranch. - [Chanse] Yeah. - And it's one of those things. that you need to be really upfront.

If it's like you cannot eat a food without ranch, you need to be like, "Oh, you want to go out to eat? "Do they have ranch? "I have this thing where I need to have ranch. "with every meal.". Say that. - Not that this takes away from it, but it's gotta be in their head, because again, ranch doesn't have that much flavor. So what is it actually doing? Like, it's a fat. It's a milky fat, right? And so it's expanding your taste buds, letting you taste more so you can palate more. So like the sour cream is gonna do it. It's just got that tang. - Exactly.

- But then that dill sauce, it's just like dill sauce in my head. sounds like it's gonna be like a ranch. with instead of like the oregano with those herbs, it's gonna be dill instead of those herbs. It's not gonna be that much different. - Did she even try it? - She didn't even try it. - [Shayne] I doubt she tried. - That's the thing. - No (beep) way she tried it. - This would be a deal breaker for all of us, right? - No. - [Shayne] It wouldn't? (crew laughs). See, it's a deal breaker for me because I love food. - I don't know. (Shayne laughs).

I don't know. - The ranch on anything, I can definitely handle. - The ranch on anything I can handle. Being rude consistently, like if it was a consistent rudeness. to a service industry worker, that is a deal breaker for me. So it depends 'cause this feels like a-. - And we're at a mom and pop restaurant, so like in my head I'm like, "If you need that ranch with this meal, "we can box our meals up and go to a place. "that we can put ranch on it that's not disrespectful. "to the people that just cooked our meals.". - Exactly, it's the disrespect. And also the server must have been upset.

for them to say anything. 'Cause as a server, I've seen some crazy shit. where people bring in crazy shit, and usually I'm like, "I'm gonna just let this one go.". But if it upsets me enough, I'll say something. So the server must've been like-. - I wouldn't have said anything. if they brought in bottle of ranch. - Same. I would've been like-. - You went to the store and got ranch. You need help, first of all. - I'm gonna let that be. - Second of all, eat your meal. - They established enough information when they said like, "They didn't have any dressings like a normal restaurant.".

I'm like, all right, yeah, that's all I need to hear. - [Chanse] You're out. - That's all I needed to hear. - Wait, is it a deal breaker? - Yeah. It's a deal breaker- - Of course. - It's a deal breaker not because I'd be like, "You have to have ranch? "You're (beep) weird.". It'd be that, I would say, and I would probably say this, I'd be like, "Hey, I love food. "I love trying new foods. "There's not a genre of food that I've tried. "that I haven't been interested by or like, "and I like to explore new things. "And if you can't do that, then we can't work.". - Oh, that is true. - There's so many experiences that we're limited by now. Go find someone else who also just likes basic food.

- You're right. I think it is a deal breaker. You're right on like the first couple dates. But if you are together for a while. and they have this thing-. - Well, we're not gonna get to that. - You're right. Deal breaker then. - It's a deal breaker for me too. because my stomach and my mouth is my way to my heart. - Yes. - There is no way. that we're not gonna try all these different foods. Like, you're not gonna be able to travel with me. No way. - Polish Hungarian's not even that like different. from like what we typically eat at chain restaurants. Like, dude, you're ordering,

I bet you they have schnitzel or like bratwurst. Come on. - Like, and if I ever wanna go to like (beep) I don't know, like Thailand, like we're not getting ranch. - Oh no. - We're not getting ranch. - You are not getting ranch. - You're so limited. - So limited. And what are we gonna eat the whole time? You're gonna bring ranch in your suitcase? - That's another good point. You can't travel. - Exactly. - Yeah. - So true. - Some comments here. "Back in the day, I went out on some bad dates. "But expecting an Eastern European style restaurant. "to have ranch dressing. "and nipping out to buy some would go down.

"in the bad date hall of fame.". Someone else said, "Yeah, you're the asshole. "Did you even try to enjoy the food without the ranch? "This is so gross to me. "Why don't you just eat ranch. "since it seems that it's all you enjoy.". - Okay. Don't be petty. - Yeah. - "At a five star restaurant, "I'll just have the chicken tendies, OP probably.". And look, man, I love some chicken tendies. - I was just about to say, at a good restaurant. - I love chicken tendies. But also, come on. - [Amanda] Yum. - And at the very least, look,

at the very least just communicate this. Communicate this right off the bat. Don't get to a date and then leave your date. Also don't leave your date alone to go somewhere. - She didn't tell him that she was going to get the ranch? - She maybe did, but I don't even like that anyways. That's weird. It's weird. That's bad etiquette. - It's just like stubbornness. To not even try what they have. is not really immersing yourself into the restaurant. - [Shayne] Yeah. - So that's a little bit disrespectful. when he's like bringing you there. - It's very different if you're like, "Hey, I'm limited by my allergies. "I'm limited by this.". - Yeah, sure.

- Sure. - This is a very clear choice. But anyways... - [Amanda] Yeah. - Moving on. - [Amanda] Wow. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Fired up. - I'm fired up too. - Could have been a legend though. - Could have been a legend. - Bringing a bottle of ranch into a restaurant-. - Like Buffalo Wild Wings. We ran out, sorry. - At face value, I love it. No, Buffalo Wild Wings you're like, "I have to bring my own hot sauce. "'cause your shit doesn't get hot enough.". - Oh! - That's cool. I don't mind that. - I'd be like, "I wanna party with that person.". - Yeah, 'cause the mango habanero is spicy.

- I can only handle so much. (Amanda laughs). All right, next story. This was on Am I The Asshole and reposted to Am I The Devil, so buckle up. (Amanda gasps). "Am I the asshole for telling my fiance. "that he embarrassed me. "when he started singing the 'Happy Birthday' song. "to his five-year-old son at the restaurant?". Okay. "I, a 30-year-old woman, "have been with my fiance, Ned, who's 36. "for a year and a half." - Is it in quotes? - What? - It's in quotes?

- Yeah, it's a fake name. - Oh, okay, great, great. - Right, right, right. - Thank god. - All the names in all these stories are always not real. - [Chanse] Okay. - They've been dating for a year and a half. "He has a five-year-old son with his ex-girlfriend. "They don't have a custody arrangement, "but he has him most of the week. "because the mom is currently sick. "His son is lovely, "but I noticed that Ned takes him everywhere he goes, "including places that aren't child-friendly. "We have issues with that, but we're working on it. "His son's fifth birthday was days ago, "and Ned took us out to a restaurant to celebrate. "The place was nice. "but looked a bit unfitting for the occasion.

"because it was a somewhat expensive place. "Anyways, we ordered food and when we got the birthday cake, "which was a surprise to me. "because I thought we were going to celebrate at home. "where we could be free to sing and play however we wanted. "I still had no issue with that. "until Ned started singing the happy birthday song. "to his son. "I was so stunned I almost dropped my plate. "He was singing it at the top of his lungs, "not even looking around or paying attention. "to how many people were staring at us awkwardly. "I felt so embarrassed. "I kept whispering for him to stop, but he ignored me.

"Of course my future stepson was hyped. "and a little too active, "which isn't good when we're in a public place. "I expected the staff, the manager, anyone to get involved. "and stop him, but no one did. "In fact, some woman came up to us. "and offered to help him take a video recording. "I wasn't in it at all. "I froze in my seat looking stunned and a little angry. "He looked at me later asking what was wrong. "I didn't say anything except 'Thanks for finally noticing.'. "He didn't understand what I meant, "and I didn't explain until we were in the car. "I flat out told him. "that he embarrassed me the second he started singing.

"in the restaurant. "He looked shocked, "saying he didn't get why I would be embarrassed. "by him celebrating his son's birthday and cheering him up. "I told him we could have done this at home. "where we would be more comfortable and free. "He took it as me being ashamed of him and his son. "But I denied it and said that it just felt awkward. "and embarrassing to me at the restaurant, "and I've never been in this situation. "He said that his son's mom is sick, "that he's trying to do all he can to cheer him up, "that all families do that, "and that no one had an issue with it except for me. "Then when I tried to explain, "he got mad and said he no longer felt like talking.

"We haven't been speaking since then. "It appears he's still salty about me saying what I said. "and insisting that I see him and his son. "as an embarrassment. "Am I the asshole? "I think he's being too harsh ignoring me. "instead of talking it out.". - Whoa. This is so much. - She just doesn't get, there's unspoken rules of social etiquette, and I feel like the "Happy Birthday" song is allowed. almost anywhere. - Anywhere, everywhere. - It really does. - Almost anywhere, anytime. - The son's mother is sick with I don't know what.

(Shayne laughs). - Besides that, I have never-. - She is sick! - I have never heard someone singing "Happy Birthday". and I've been like, "How dare they? "What do they think they're doing?". - You guys need to quiet down. - And here's the thing, I feel like everyone universally. kind of dreads the "Happy Birthday" song, but I also agree with what you're saying. It's also like, yeah, it's-. - It is what it is. - It's a five-year-old's birthday. - You gotta do it. - Like, he's a cute little kid. at a probably a really nice restaurant. Everyone's like, "Oh, I have (beep) baby fever now.". - I love how she's like, "No one said anything.

"Like, in fact, a lady came up and offered to take a video.". It's like, yeah, 'cause they clearly didn't have a problem with it. - It sounds like a sketch where she's probably like, "Stop, stop, stop.". ♪ Happy birth ♪. - And the son's like, "Yay, 'cause mommy's sick.". - And everyone around is like singing too, and she's like, "They're joining in 'cause they're embarrassed.". - I'm thinking of like the internal monologue. where it's like everything goes dark behind her. She's like, "No, not again.". (Amanda laughs). "This can't be.". - She sounds extremely controlling. because it's like the fact where she's like, "Why didn't he do it at home where we can be free?".

It's like, you mean where you can be free. - And maybe this is how she's grown up. - [Amanda] Sure. - They were just like, "We never sing in public. "or we never like sing the happy birthday. "Like, we wait 'til we get home and that's where we-". - And you have to acknowledge that that's you. and your upbringing. - You're projecting it on other people. - I would get it if she's like, "Don't sing 'Happy Birthday' to me in a public place.". - Yeah. - I would understand a little bit more if she's like, "Hey, I was embarrassed. "Like, I don't like to be put on the spot. "at that restaurant.". It's him and his son.

Let him raise his son the way he wants. and celebrate his son's birthday the way he wants. - I also- - Also-. Yeah. - I also think it's more than that. It sounds to me like she did not realize. that she signed up for the son to be in her life. all the time. Did you hear it? She was like, "And he brings the son around everywhere we go.". - Yeah, it's his son and he's five years old. - Also, you've only been together a year and a half. and you're already fianced. - Yeah. - Which is fine. No judgment, but like that's not a lot of time.

to really like-. - Establish a connection with him. and the son. - And the son. - And it seems like she hasn't. Based on this, only on this, it doesn't appear. - Well, there's probably only been one birthday before this. And in fact if it's a year and a half, there's only been one birthday. - It's one birthday and he was, yeah, probably at the house singing quietly. - Yeah, and also just for the record, it takes about 10 seconds to sing the birthday song. - So quick.

- Correct. - It is very quick. - And let's go back to this is not a restaurant fit. for a child 'cause it's expensive. Excuse you. - I know. - You're right, children don't deserve expensive food. What? - [Amanda] Yes. - No. - Yes, they do. - Yes, the absolutely do. - I mean, sometimes they don't. - It's totally fine-. - Some children don't. - It's completely fine. I will say five-year-old me, take me to Chili's. - Absolutely. - Just take me to Chili's. But maybe this was Chili's. - 22-year-old me take me to Chili's. - [Shayne] Take me to Chili's.

- Let's never stop going to Chili's 'cause it's so good. - It's so good. - I don't care. - What's your Chili's order? We allowed to say that? - Well, chocolate molten cake always at the end. - That's it. (laughs). - You're a chicken crispers boy. - Fajitas, fajitas. - You do the fajitas? - I love. - That's crazy. - You are outta your mind. - Comments here. "It's not embarrassing to sing 'Happy Birthday' to a child. "It is however super embarrassing to look pissed off. "at a person singing 'Happy Birthday' to a child. "at the same table as you. "You're the asshole.". Someone else said, "You're the asshole. "If it had actually been an issue,

"the staff would've intervened. "They didn't. "Given that the only actual response you got from anyone. "was unequivocally supportive, "I think you're wildly projecting your own embarrassment. "at having attention called to you in public. "And you need to acknowledge that as your problem. "instead of taking it out on your partner.". - Whoa, this person was like, "I'm gonna respond.". - "You're the asshole. "I understand your concern. "Strangers might think you cared about your stepson. "with a public act like that." (laughs). Holy shit, man. - Happy birthday. - Yeah, the fact that she was trying to whisper to him. while he's singing it.

(beep) you. - [Chanse] I know, crazy. - Unwritten rule. You're allowed to do happy birthday. Everyone's allowed to get involved. - Yeah. - It's just what it is. - It really does get a pass. - She wasn't disillusioned when the woman came over. and was like, "I'll take a video of you.". Like, it's clearly okay that they were doing that. from an outside party, and she still was like, "This is wrong.". - I almost dropped my plate. Well, why are you holding your plate up? - Why was your plate in your hands in the first place? - You're the weird one. - She's like this.

"I almost dropped my plate.". - Yeah, ridiculous. Next story here. Another one that was reposted onto Am I The Devil. (Chanse gasps). Let's see if this person's worse than the-. - Oh! I love these. (Amanda laughs). - I'm getting excited. - "Am I the asshole for inviting my waitress out on a date?". - You know how many times that's happened? - And you know what? I have gone on dates. - Same. - From the restaurant. Yep. - Someone followed me into a service station to ask me out.

- Oh, that's scary. - Well, we went out for like four months. It was really fun actually. (crew laughs). - Okay. - I thought he was cute. - Yeah, but that's not a... - [Amanda] You're right. - Don't do that. - Yeah, I was 25. - I've had a couple times where I left them my number. and they left me their number at the same time. (Amanda gasps). Isn't that cute? - Synced up. - Synced up. - Anyways, sorry. We have a lot of stories. - All right, this is a 46-year-old man.

"My wife, who was 43, passed away about two years ago. "Since then, I haven't had the courage or the desire. "to try and date. "My kids are all in college, "so I try to go out for dinner by myself once a week. "to get outta the house. "When I got to the restaurant, I glanced at the menu. "When my waitress showed up, I was immediately struck. "by how much she looked like my past wife.". - Oh. - "I ordered my food and I worked up the nerve. "when she came back to give it to me. "to ask her out to dinner. "She laughed and said she would think about it and left.

"I felt good about asking until I was done eating. "and a different waiter came by to take payment. "I asked him what happened to the previous waitress, "and he told me that she didn't feel comfortable. "serving me anymore. "and asked him to clear her table for her. "I felt so embarrassed after putting myself out there. "and getting rejected like that. "I thought it would've been okay, "and it would've been better. "just to have heard a simple no from her. "Was I the asshole for asking her out?". - Here's what it is. She's working. - [Shayne] Yeah.

- It's true. - She is employed. She is on the clock. She is working. - It is her job to be friendly and joyful. She is working. However, I do think that... It's hard. It's hard with different people. - I would say based on the context he gave us, there was no sign other than just like, "You look like my passed away wife.". I would say for me, baseline, yeah, if someone's working,

you're an asshole for doing it. Even if it works. Even if it works out, and it's a story where you could be like, "Yeah, I definitely broke what I would say is an etiquette.". - [Amanda] For sure. - And asked them out while they're working. And at the very least, you can't be upset by however you're rejected. - Nope. Nope. That's not your right! That's not your right. - That is true. - If I did this and I decided, hey, I'm gonna ask this person out, which what I mean is I would need to know.

I would need more than just like I'm getting a vibe. It'd need to be like, hey, we're having a full on conversation. - You wanna know his other faux pa? - What? - He didn't wait 'til the end of the meal. - I was just gonna say that. - Oh. - You cannot ask out a waitress. while they're serving your table currently. It is awkward. It is weird. It changes the dynamic. If you wanna ask them out, leave them your number on a thing. I don't think that that's wrong. - No, no, not at all. - I think leaving the number-.

- And even at the end of the meal, we are done. Our transaction is finished. We are paid. I have signed. - Also, yes, you have to wait 'til the end of the thing. But yes, we are working. - He asked her out before they were done, which means now she's like, "Okay, how am I gonna get a tip if I reject him?". This sucks. This is now such a loaded situation. That's so uncomfortable for her. I do not think he was thinking. - That's why she said maybe. - This is also why it sucks too,

because I know for myself as a server, I'm a flirt. I'm gonna flirt to get that tip, and I'm gonna be pretty too to get that tip. (Amanda laughs). And a lot of people are like, "Oh, he's flirting with me.". I'm like, yeah, I'm flirting with you. It's kind of my whole thing. Like, that's how I'm gonna get-. - You're working. - I'm working. - I think leaving the number is the only version of it. that I'm like, okay, fine. You leave a number and you're saying, it's like, hey, pressure's off.

If I don't receive a call from you, fine. - Pressure is off. - But I think that's the only version of it. where I'm not like, "Hey, you're being a little bit of an asshole.". But where you're absolutely an asshole. and this is across the circumstances is, and I mean asshole not in like you're a bad person. I just mean like you're, you know, you might-. - Out of pocket. - If you ask someone out while they're working, you might make them uncomfortable. - Yeah. - And that might make you an asshole. I'm not saying like (beep) you. But it's, hey, you have to really be certain.

And where you're absolutely an asshole no matter what. is if someone rejects you, however they do. and you push back even the slightest bit, you're 100% asshole. - I think I agree with that. I do think it gets (beep) complicated. 'cause I do think in like rom-coms, TV shows, like all these things, it's always like, you know, the waitress or the server and like that's how you meet. I don't think it's right to ask out someone. while they're working, but I think it gets really complicated.

- I have a question. What if the roles were flipped? - What if it was a girl asking-. - What if the server is asking the customer out. at the end of the meal? - We were talking about like the woman and the man. and like straight up, I think the issue is that so many straight dudes. are so dangerous out there that-. - [Chanse] That's so true. - They're the ones who (beep) it up. - [Chanse] Yeah. - [Amanda] It's so true. - We can only be mad at them. We can only be mad at them. I mean, we just had a story earlier. of someone stalking someone. - They make it scary. - That's the problem.

- They make it scary where-. - That's the issue. - Sometimes I feel like it's, I wanna believe that it's not all scary. 'cause I don't wanna live my life being scared all the time. So it's like, I'm gonna be more open to this. But that's just my personal experience. That's why I think it gets really tricky. - That's the thing you have to acknowledge as a man. in any situation where you're like, "Oh, I think this woman's really cute. "I want to ask her out.". But you have to be like, "She doesn't know me.". So there is based on statistics a high chance.

that I'm a dangerous person and I mean her harm. - You're right. - You have to consider that. - That's true. - And you know, "Oh, my intentions are good though.". Yeah, you know that. She doesn't. - And she has reason to believe the exact opposite. - And that's why I say like you're an asshole. based on these things because it's like you're now. maybe making this person's day harder. - I agree. And just write your number down later and then leave. That's the thing. Don't sit there and wait. Like, leave.

- If they want to text you, they will text you. - They will. I can't stand when there's dudes who are creepy as F. who are just like saying, "Oh, you're beautiful,". or, "Oh, you look like my dead ex-wife. "Oh my god.". It's like, okay, cool. - 100%. - Hey, Chanse, can you take over my (beep) entire section? - Absolutely. - Now I can't be in that section. - The thing I've heard, and we'll get into these comments, is-. - We can split the tips though. (Amanda laughs). The thing I've heard, and I feel like the the best thing you can do. whenever asking someone out is how do you make them feel. like as safe as possible. and that they can walk away from this.

and get away from this super easily. And that's the best thing. - Write your number down and leave. - [Shayne] And be gone. - Be gone. - So comments here, "You're the asshole. "Do not proposition women who cannot leave if they choose. "This means any woman who is in a workplace. "in which you are the customer. "It means any place. "where a woman cannot physically step away from you. "if they choose.". Someone said, "Very, very soft you're the asshole. "You shouldn't be discouraged from getting out. "and opening your heart to potential partners. "But I can see how the situation may have been awkward.

"for the waitress. "I'm sorry for your loss, OP.". Someone said, "You're the asshole. "If you want to ask a waitress out, "leave your number on the receipt. "Way less awkward and puts her in control. "without having to feel pressured by your presence. "If she's interested, cool. "If not, Big Jerry working the grill will probably text you. "and (beep) with you.". (everyone laughs). And I agree with those. - Big Jerry. - And that's what I mean. And especially this guy, I'm like, you didn't have bad intentions. You just went about this badly. - But also did he really like her. or did she just look like a dead ex-wife? - That's also a little weird thing.

It's like if you started dating-. - Psychic damage right there. - If you started dating, if it did work out and you started dating, it's like, "Yeah, here's a picture of my ex-wife. "that you look just like.". (Amanda laughs). - Put on this dress. - This might have been the best case scenario. - Put on this dress. (laughs). - I think this was best case scenario for that guy. How many times do you think you got asked out. while you were working? - A lot. That's how Tim Robbins asked me out. - Yeah, told that story. - But he literally, he was leaving. - [Shayne] Yeah. - And his son was leaving too. - Yeah, and that's fair.

- And they literally wrote their number down on a receipt. and left. - [Shayne] Yeah. - And it was a private party. And I didn't feel like it was creepy or anything. But I feel like I got asked out a lot. But the thing is is like, I don't know, it's when I first moved here and I was single at the time, and I don't know. It wasn't... I don't know. When you work in the restaurant industry. for a really long time, you are so used to creeps. and not the creeps.

And you can distinguish them in a heartbeat. You see them and you're like, "Creep. "Not creep.". - 100%. - And so I was very like open to. if I didn't feel creepy vibes and they left their number, cool. - Yeah. - There were many times that I got asked out. that was creepy and weird, and I had to give up my section. Many times. - [Shayne] Damn. - It just became part of the job. I know that sounds (beep) crazy. It became part of what I had to set myself up for. - And it sucks that it's a reality.

It's unfair. It's stupid. It's shitty. But yeah, it's reality. - But you have to adapt because, growing up from Boston, I don't wanna be afraid every day, I don't wanna be angry every day. Every time I get beeped up, I don't wanna be pissed. So I, Amanda, needed to adapt, and so I just added it into my schedule. I know that sounds crazy, but I added it into my schedule. I'm like, all right, which (beep) am I gonna deal with today? And which person is gonna ask me out that maybe I'm...

Like, for me, I had to adapt because I wanna be happy. and I don't want other people who are (beep) creeps. to distinguish my day, to like change my whole day. - Well, also, with the creep, not just with creeps, but just like assholes in general, you learn to compartmentalize. You're like, can't let this table affect the rest of my-. - I'm having a good day and I look good today. I'm not gonna let you... Like, I've had a person slap my ass. while they went to the bathroom.

Like, yes, has it hurt my day. But I'm like, I can't keep letting that shit hurt my day. - What's so weird is that nowhere else, I've worked in restaurants for my whole life. in Tennessee and Chicago and LA and different places in LA, different places too. - Yeah. - And nowhere never got hit on or like asked out anywhere. besides when I moved here. I guess there's just more gay people here also. But like it changed everything. And then all of a sudden, like, you're getting your ass pinched while you walk by.

and all this stuff. And I'm like, what the (beep). But then you get hit on by the people you wanna get hit on. and you're like, "Okay, well now it's kind of worth it.". - Yeah, so you kind of like, you're like, "Ah... "Oh.". - Yeah, and so it really confuses other people too, because what's happening. is your section's really close together. And this table, it's this really hot guy. that you are flirting with. - Yeah. - And like you're doing stuff and like you're-. - And you're like, "Hello.". - You're like, "Okay, so what can I get? "You guys want dessert? "You want free dessert?" - And the guy's like, "Come here, little boy.". - And then the table next to you is the creeps. that hear this, and they're like, "We want free dessert.".

I'm like, "No, it's not for you! "It's for them!". (Amanda laughs). That is a perfect description of carment-. - Compartmentalizing. - Compartmentalizing is your section. It's literally creep, creep, cool, fun people, hot, creep, creep, creep, cool, fun people, hot. - Yeah, that's so true. - Well damn. - Yeah. True stories. - Yeah. - This episode is brought to you by NordVPN. As you probably noticed with these Reddit stories, there is all sorts of crazy stuff out there on the internet,

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Let's move on. - Let's move on. - All right. "Am I the asshole for bringing my sister-in-law's wallet. "to the restaurant when she conveniently always forgets it?". (Chanse and Amanda laugh). - Oh, I relate to this. - All right, all right, this might be our legend. Oh, this wallet? - Yes! - Your Honor, my sister-in-law. (laughs).

In a top hat. (Amanda laughs). Okay, this 28-year-old woman. Her sister-in-law, Amy, who's 26, always comes to visit from out of town. "She stays with us instead of a hotel. "and always wants to go to expensive restaurants. "She always conveniently forgets her wallet. "or comes up with some excuse. "as to why she can't pay her share. "She's implied that since I make much more money than her, "I should be the one to pay. "No, not that my husband should pay, but me specifically. "I do make a fair amount of money, "but not so much that I can treat someone.

"every time they come into town. "Nonetheless, in the past, I have just paid the bill. "and asked her to pay me back. "She never has. "She made a reservation. "at an extremely expensive restaurant last night, "and before we left, I made it clear. "that I wouldn't be paying her bill. "This is where I might be the asshole. "And I'll admit I got this move straight. "from an episode of 'Two and a Half Men.'". - Oh, awesome. - [Amanda] Oh my god. - I love it. You don't like it. I love it. - "As we were leaving, my husband and her went to the car. "I pretended I forgot something and went back inside.

"I found her wallet sitting right on top of her suitcase. "I put it in my purse, and we went to the restaurant. "When we were done eating, I asked for separate bills. "She said, 'No, we need one bill,'. "because she forgot her wallet again. "I reached my purse and said, 'This wallet?'. "She was extremely furious. "She said that I should not have touched. "or grabbed her wallet. "So am I the asshole for taking her wallet. "and bringing it to the restaurant?". - Wait! - Edit. - Oh. - "Amy just called me. "She saw this post and she yelled at me. "for badmouthing her on the internet.

"Honestly, I don't care. "Amy, hopefully reading all these comments. "is a wake up call for you.". - Whoa! Whoa, she just made it real awkward, mad awkward. - She made it real awkward. - I feel bad for her husband. - She said the price of this relationship is right here. - Her husband's just like, "Can't you guys just get along?". (Shayne whines). (everyone laughs). Not the asshole, but I would've probably done it differently.

because it's gonna, I would've been like, "Hey.". I would've had a conversation. - I would've been like, before we left, when we're getting in the car-. - Yeah. - Be like, "You have everything. "Keys, phone, wallet?". - Wallet. Oh wait, you forgot your wallet? Here, let's go check in the car. - She probably would've been like, yeah, like, 'cause you always forget your wallet. - Yeah. Okay, you can Venmo me. I'll Venmo request you. - That's also a thing too. - But bringing the wallet. She must have just been-. - I just also would be like, "We're not going to an expensive restaurant.". - How many times did she say that it has happened though?

She said it's happened so many times. - So many times. And that the sister-in-law made the reservation. at the expensive restaurant. I'd be like, "No, we're not going.". - Yeah, I don't think she's the asshole. - Oh, wait, why I said wait. Who paid for it? What happened? - Oh yeah. - So it sounds like based on the comments here. that the sister-in-law still didn't pay 'cause she was mad. This is one of those situations where I'm like, why do you keep letting this person do this? - Also, the husband needs to get involved. That's his sister. - Oh, it's his sister. You're right. - It's his sister. - Yeah, he's just kind of there.

- Like, get involved, you know? - Yeah, not the husband paying, me specifically paying. - Also, they should have come to it together. Maybe the husband and the wife should have been like, I mean, she probably just... But maybe if they both were like, "Here's your wallet. "We found it, we brought it for you.". Like, if they were gonna do that. I do think bringing the wallet is kind of like (groans). Like... - Look, she fought fire with fire there. But it's also weird. that the sister-in-law is making her pay.

She said she's not asking the-. - Yeah, that's what I was saying. Not the brother. - It's some weird shit. This is a weird person. Based on the story, I don't like them. - This sounds like a bigger issue with the husband. and his sister. And I feel like the sister-in-law, the husband needs to set some (beep) boundaries there. because the wife should not, she should not be in charge. of taking care of the sister-in-law like that. - Also, "Oh, this wallet" is the wrong line.

That is the wrong-. - What is the right line? - The right line is, "Oh my god, I actually grabbed it for you.". - So true. - I saw it on your suitcase and I grabbed it for you. - Oh yeah. Oh, it was just sitting out on your suitcase in the car, and I didn't want it to get stolen. Here it is. - Or you could have before you went to the restaurant. been like, "Hey, I need to go do the, "hey, hey, I saw your wallet still on your suitcase.". - You wanna go grab it really quickly? - [Shayne] You wanna go grab it? - Yeah, go grab it. We'll go together. Let's hold hands and go there. - Comments here.

"Not the asshole. "Definitely not an asshole, but you might be a legend.". (crew laughs). "Not the asshole. "If she'd actually forgotten her wallet, "she would've been grateful you remembered. "Of course we all know she never forgot it. "You're already saving her hotel costs. "by allowing her to stay in your home. "The least she should be doing is treating you to a meal out. "to thank you for hosting her.". - Yes. - [Shayne] "Not the asshole, and I love it.". - Not how I operate. When people come visit me, I'm paying for everything. - Same. Honestly, same. - We've had a lot of stories like this of people.

kind of like making other people pay the bill. I've never dealt with it. I guess I've never gone to dinner with too big of assholes. because I feel like splitting the bill. has never been an argument whenever I've gone out. - No, never. - Especially with Venmo now and stuff like that. It's so easy. - Well, I think if you go with people. who's been in the service industry, you don't make it a thing 'cause you're like, "We are not splitting this 17 ways.". - I don't know.

I'm a giver and I will, most of the time if people are visiting me, I'm gonna pay the bill before you even see the bill. - [Amanda] Correct. - The waiter already has the card. And that's my expectation. I don't expect you to pay, and when I'm visiting, I don't expect you to pay for me. - I agree completely. And if your mother is visiting, I am taking care. - Oh, absolutely. - My husband and I are taking care of the bill. - [Chanse] Absolutely. - Even if she gets pissed. - [Chanse] Yeah. - Yeah, I am of the mindset whenever I go like out to dinner.

with people that I'm like, I need to prepare to be responsible for myself. Like, no matter what. And I just need to be in that mindset, and I can be pleasantly surprised if someone's like, "Hey, I got this!". - [Chanse] Yeah. - But do not go with that expectation. That is how you're gonna ruin friendships. You will ruin relationships with that mindset. - Correct. - And you're gonna be so much happier. if you're prepared to do the whole bill. And I'm not super well off. I'm not like rolling in dough. And sometimes it'll like put me out maybe. I don't know how many people are at this dinner.

Just be prepared that worst case scenario, I'm gonna have to cover the bill. 'cause I do not wanna be in a situation. where we can't cover the bill. - Where it's like, "I only got an iced tea.". - Yeah. - I mean, I understand that, but-. - I get it too, but I'm just ready to do it just in case. Saves so many relationships. - If you have that mindset, you can then communicate beforehand of like, "Hey, I can't afford to go to this place.". - Boom. - And then it's like, "Hey, oh, we'll figure it out.". - Boom. - Then it's like you communicated it. But it's waiting 'til the bill to then go, "Well, I was expecting you to get it.".

- She's clearly very manipulative, and she's using her brother and sister-in-law. as like mommy daddy right now. Like, she's put them in that role. - Yeah. - And honestly, it's up to the brother. to set a fricking boundary. - Communication. - But if he can't, then it's up to unfortunately the wife. to set a boundary and be like, "I'm so sorry, you can't stay with us right now.". - Yeah. - You have to get a hotel room. - To go back on what I just said.

She said she is not paying for the meal. before the meal started. - She established it. - She established that, and she was like, "You still wanna go. "You made this reservation, and I am not paying for it.". - No, yeah, this person full on-. - That's (beep) up. - (beep) up. - All right, next story. - Okay. I am hot. - I'm hot too. (crew laughs). "Am I the asshole for leaving itemized tips to compensate. "for my wife's behavior?". - What? - Huh? (crew laughs).

- Okay. "My wife and I, in our 30s, dine out every once in a while. "but not too often because of my wife's annoying habit, "inherited from her family.". - [Chanse] Oh. - "She always complains, "sends food back if it's not absolutely perfect, "and makes needless requests/substitutions. "She doesn't have allergies or sensitivities. "It can easily take five minutes. "for her just to order her own food. "And sometimes I've already finished my meal. "by the time she gets her food because she sends it back, "asks for modifications, et cetera. "I know restaurant staff don't appreciate it. "I've tried talking to her about this,

"but she doesn't see an issue with it. "Anyway, we make decent money, "and we use our combined fun funds on dates/dinners. "I recently started writing what my wife does on the receipt. "and then calculating a tip. "in addition to the normal gratuity to compensate. "So to a receipt I might add, "'Complained about not having blank beverage, plus $5. "'Asked five questions about a single menu item, plus $5. "'Asked for a new drink because too much ice, plus $5. "'Sent meal back, was exactly what she ordered, plus $5.'.

"She didn't notice me doing it the first two to three times, "but last night she noticed I was spending a lot of time. "on writing a tip amount and asked why. "I showed her what I wrote. "She's been mad at me since, "saying I'm embarrassing her to the staff. "I told her she's embarrassing us both. "Am I the asshole? "Petty maybe, but an asshole? "Edit, my wife is otherwise a very nice, caring, "and generous person." - Oh. - "She does always say please and thank you,

"even for her most absurd requests.". (Amanda laughs). "Annoying each other like this is our love language, "but this time she's pretty mad. "Oops.". It's tough 'cause he-. - Then stay mad. You know who else is mad? All the servers that you're (beep) with. They have a system. Can't come in there and (beep) run shop. - It's a little bit. of like please and thank you doesn't excuse-. - No. - Too much ice. Please, thank you. - Well, it's also, I would be mad too, because I would be embarrassed.

because I would see in written form-. - [Amanda] Yes. - Oh, this is what I'm doing. I'm upset, but not at you. I'm upset at myself. because now I have written text of what I've done. - But you're a healthy person. - [Shayne] I wonder though, well, we don't have context of-. - I don't that's what she's thinking. - No, I think that is what she's thinking. But I don't think she's really thought. about what she's thinking. - [Shayne] Well, we don't have-. - I don't think she can... (crew laughs). Do you know what I mean? Like, she's thinking it and she's acting out,

but she's not like looking inwardly and being like, "Why am I actually mad? "What's actually making me mad right now?". - What we don't have context on. is whether or not he has tried to communicate. with her about that. - That's what I was wondering 'cause if he hasn't-. - He said he had. - [Shayne] Has he? - Yeah, he said he did. He said, "We've talked about it before.". - You're right. You're right. Sorry, I take that back. So he established, "I've tried talking to her about this, "but she doesn't see an issue with it.". So he has tried, and-. - And now he's just like, "(beep) it.". - Yeah, like I'll pay for it.

- Did he just show her the things that he wrote down? How did that happen? - [Shayne] Yeah, she goes-. - She saw because he was taking a really long time. She's like, "Why are you taking so long on your tip?". Right? - "And I showed her what I wrote.". Saying, "She's been mad at me. "since saying I'm embarrassing her to the staff. "I told her she's embarrassing us both.". Yeah, she said, "You're embarrassing me to the staff.". It's like, no, you already did that. - That's already been done. I'm compensating for what's already-. - I don't think he's the asshole because they're married, they have their own love language,

they have their own back and forth. And to be honest, if he's already tried to communicate it with her. and this is like another way. that he's trying to enjoy going out to dinner, well, whatever. What? - Okay. - [Amanda] What's happening here? (crew laughs). - I just thought about something. - [Amanda] What? - He should have just put the extra tip in. He shouldn't be writing the reasons. - No, I think that is pretty (beep) a little bit. - Yeah, it is (beep) that he's writing. - It is a little (beep). - But it's kind of an inside joke between him and the staff. It is.

And it's an inside joke. If he's not showing her every time, he's like, "It's an inside joke between me and the staff. "showing I'm cool. "She's the problem.". - Yeah, he said, "Annoying each other like this is our love language.". But he wasn't-. - [Amanda] What does that mean? - [Chanse] But he wasn't showing her. - He wasn't showing her. This was a secret to her. - Oh right. - This is a secret to him and the staff. - Then it is. - It's like, "I'm the cool one, I promise. "I'm paying for the check.". - That's like being like-. - Sorry, she's such a bitch. - I'm so sorry about my bitch wife. - Yes, that's exactly what it is. - Yeah, it's one of those things, and I mean, I'm not a marriage counselor. or an expert in any sort of sense,

but stuff like this, I'm like, you're telling me this isn't gonna turn into resentment. at some point in your marriage? - [Amanda] Yeah. - Like, bro. I mean, but also I think she needs to acknowledge, like whether she is fine with doing it or not, she needs to acknowledge like it is embarrassing. Like, you are making the staff's day harder. - And you are not in control. You going to a restaurant, you are no longer in control. - You are not in control. - Someone else is in the kitchen cooking your meal.

- Let the restaurant take over. - Someone else is gonna bring it to you, and someone else is gonna do your dishes. - That's the thing. Let the restaurant take over. - Yes. - Let them serve you how they curated the menu. - Let them serve. - It's purposeful. There's been a lot of thought. There have been so much thought. - Enjoy the experience. If I was the husband, I would've been like, "I'm not going out to dinner with you. "I'm so sorry, but I need to take a break. "from going out to dinner because I'm not enjoying myself.". - And she doesn't have allergies or sensitivities, so let's establish that. Like, this is just her preferences.

Look, maybe I'm the asshole for this, but if I was at a restaurant and someone sent a drink back. because it had too much ice, I think I'd probably look them in the face and go, "Go (beep) yourself.". There is no explanation for this. other than this is something she does. - That's what it sounds like. - Something she does specifically at restaurants. This is not a behavior that-. - Which it could be catered to restaurants I guess. - It was a normalized thing for her growing up. And it's once again, if she wants to say,

"Hey, I'm gonna do this. "This is how I am, this is how I eat.". But she needs to also acknowledge, "Yeah, I am making the waiter's day harder. "I can't deny that.". - Not only the waiter, not only the waiter. - Everybody. - There's cooks, there's food runners, there's expos, there's now this ticket that this menu, this item that has gone out thousands of times-. - Has fucked everything. - Has all of these modifications on it. So now this guy is standing with this ticket. who didn't ring it in-.

- [Amanda] Expo. - Expo is gonna have to read this to the cooks. A lot of the times they speak different languages. and like there's little modifications. that they don't understand. Like, it doesn't translate well. So now I have to explain how to do this dish. that they've done 1,000 times that makes sense to them. while they have 26 other tickets. - And it (beep) up every other table. 'cause this food's getting cold. This food's getting cold. - Yep. - This guy's getting pissed. Now this server's having a bad day. Now he's gonna have an attitude towards the other tables. Cocktails are sitting and waiting. Everything is like a web.

- Yeah. - Yeah, I think it's like-. (Amanda grunts). I get frustrated-. - I just got so heated. - I'm so pissed. - 'Cause I know there's people that go, "Well, I need food a certain way and I have my preferences,". but I'm like-. - Don't go out to a restaurant. - But I think when you're at a restaurant-. - [Chanse] There are also places. - I think when you're at a restaurant, you kind of have to let go a little bit of the I. Like, you are at a place. where you are affecting a lot of people's day and week. - You have to let go of 80% of your control at a restaurant. Do not go out to a restaurant. if you're not down for the experience.

I'm sorry. - Well, there are places that you can go. - Sure. - And there are also places that like you serve, not serve yourself, but there are places you can cater your own. whatever you need. - [Amanda] Correct. - And there are restaurants that, and there are certain modifications that they are like, "We can do this." - So open to it. - We can do these things. - So go to those restaurants. - We have a lot of options available to you. Gluten free, vegan. You don't want food touching. We can do that, we can do that. But like when you start getting into it,

if the restaurant is like, we can't do this. or like it's not an option that is on the menu for you, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. - I agree. Heated. - 'Cause it just slows down every, it makes everyone's life so much worse. - So we have some comments here. "Not the asshole. "That must be mortifying. "Let's have your wife work as a waitress. "in one of the restaurants you both frequent, "and let's see how fast her behavior changes.". Someone else said, "Not the asshole. "Please continue doing this. "until she isn't a nightmare to wait staff. "Saying please and thank you doesn't mean jack shit.

"if you're making problems that aren't there. "in order to feel satisfied. "or whatever her motivation is for being this way.". A new comment. "Everyone sucks here. "Your wife sucks, but you do too. "because you treat it like throwing money. "at the problem will make it okay. "At restaurants, you pay money for food, drinks and service. "Insulting and degrading the staff is not on the menu. "How would you feel if I slapped you in the face. "but then gave you $5 and said it wasn't that bad. "because I was nice about it? "Money does not entitle you to hurt others.". - But money's okay, great. Thank you so much.

- Wait, I also have to say, I'm going back to the modifications again. A lot of the times people don't realize. that the food has already been prepped hours before. It is slated to serve 1,000 people that night. Like, we have this dill sauce that we have already made. We cannot take out the dill. It is in the sauce. - [Amanda] I know. - Or like, I'm allergic to this.

Can you take this off? No, the onions are already balsamiced. They are already roasted in balsamic dressing. They're in a vat that we can heat up. They just got made hours before. But we can't make another vat just for you. - Yes. - That's not how this works. - I agree. - Have you guys ever left extra tips based on like, have you ever been out to dinner with someone. who is really embarrassing and you left like an extra tip? - Always. - Really? - Always. - No, no, no, I'm saying like, have you ever been in a situation like this. where you're out to dinner. and someone you were dining with was kind of shitty.

to the wait staff, so you were like, "(beep) I'm gonna add.". - If that ever-. - If that happened, of course, but has it happened? - Yeah, I have. - It, it... - With like a big group. - It's happened. - Like, I'm sorry that we were so rambunctious and-. - It's happened to me with a new friend. I remember it was very small. We were getting like coffee and something, and she was being so specific about her latte, and she like got it redone twice. And I in front of her was like, "I'm so sorry.".

And she let me have it. She was like, "How dare you. "How dare you make me feel bad. "Like, make me feel embarrassed.". So that was years ago. - That's hard. Never done it since. - I was like, "Whoa.". I haven't done it since. And so I won't verbally say it. I'm just very cautious about it. - Yeah, I would never apologize on someone's behalf. Not that that's-. - And I did. I did. And that was a big lesson for me. So it's tricky with the tip thing.

I think if we are a group and I'm with my friends. and we've been loud, we've been asking for a lot of things, (beep) yeah, I'll leave a bigger tip. - Yeah, and I have friends, you know, I know people with food sensitivities. or situations where they would maybe do something like this, but I totally understand. And the way they go about it is so respectful and different. But I'm typically very wary. and cautious of controlling people. And controlling people typically give that kinda response. So if I'm around someone who exhibits that kind of behavior,

I usually just try to remove myself. and remove myself as far away from that type of thing. - I now will try to do that. 'cause I've definitely been burned. - 'Cause eventually they go from controlling the stuff. around them to trying to control you. - Yes. - And it typically happens. - My husband is sir, bartender, bar manager. In our relationship, we sit at the bar. He is watching the bar. He's watching how things are prepared.

Sometimes he's like, "Oh, I love how they do that. "Oh, what's that? "That's not clean," or whatever. And I used to get so frustrated about it. 'cause I used to not be calm, but now I'm like, this is something he enjoys. This is something he loves. When I go see a show, like a comedy show, you best believe I'm (beep) sitting there thinking. about all that shit. So I'm like, because I love him. and now understand the root of it, I get it. But I will say still as a server, sometimes I can't turn it off.

- No. - I stack all the plates at the end. - Oh, of course. - All the plates, they're like, "Wow, thank you.". I'm like... - But here's the thing with servers, when we come into the restaurant, and me and my mom, my mom famously server. - Yes. - Pancake Pantry. - Yes. - When we go to a restaurant, we are your best friend, your greatest ally, or your worst nightmare. because we are so unforgiving to maybe not bad service. We can see your section.

We see what's going on, we see the kitchen most of the time. We know what's going on, so we know if you're just doing a bad job. And then we're like, damn. We're still gonna tip at least 20%. - Of course. Always. - Always. But we're not, like the back and forth, we're not gonna be your friends. - I agree. - We're gonna be very stern. - Wait, hear me out. - What? - Are you the type of people that go, "We're servers.". - If they're doing a bad job? - Oof, I don't drop that ever, because when I used to serve,

people that go, "We're servers too.". And I'm like... - And if you said that, I'd go, "Thank you for your service.". (Amanda laughs). - Thank you for your service. - Well, sometimes those are the nightmare tables. - Sometimes those are-. - But I understand what you're saying. - Yeah. I'm like-. - You're like, "I know you're just (beep) up.". - Yeah. - Bad. - Yeah. - 'Cause I can see your section. and all of it has the plates at the end of the table. - So dirty. Dirty section. Dirty section, dirty mind. - Dirty sections are the worst. So yeah, take us out to dinner.

- But really, like-. - I'm great at a restaurant. - Most of the time I'm like, I'm gonna banter with you. Like, I'm gonna be a great table. I'm gonna be really easy. - [Amanda] Correct. - If there are modifications, I'll ask, and I'll be like, "I really don't like truffle oil. "Is there any way that truffle oil cannot be on it?". They're like, "No, it's...". They're like, "Yeah, that's an easy fix.". Great. - [Amanda] Love it. - All right, here's the update. "All righty, friends, we've had our laughs. "and shared our perspectives. "Since my wife frequents this subreddit, "I went ahead and showed her this post.

"With that said, I'd like to address a few things. "First, she and I both know that any posts. "on this sub are peepholes into people's lives. "and characters, not display cases. "Yes, my wife's behavior when dining out is bad, "which is why I tried to think of a way to point it out. "and make up for it. "That said, she's not a bad person. "Learn to separate the two and you'll get far in life.". Okay, dude. - She made him write that. - Learn to separate the two and you'll get far in life. She's like, "And you'll get far in life.". - Yeah. "Secondly, when I say she was, LOL is, mad at me,

"I don't mean that she's deeply hurt and distraught. "She's calling me an asshole, yes, but that's normal for us. "If this was something that was actually hurtful to her, "I wouldn't be sharing it online. "Anyway, she would like for you all to know. "that she is taking your responses to heart. "and she's going to be more mindful of how she dines. "She would like to add. "that she didn't think it was a big deal before. "because, as she puts it, she doesn't think twice. "about meeting expectations in her line of work, "even if they're above and beyond the norm. "She's just happy to meet demand. "But she recognizes that not everyone feels that way.

"She's going to try to be a better customer. "She said reading this was brutally eye-opening, "but we both also found some laughter. "and had a good discussion.". Okay, that comment actually just solidified it for me. - It solidified that she is the asshole. - He is being tied up right now, and she's like-. - She had gun point. - Tell them I'm reading this. - My wife said, you know, she wants to, she likes to meet a demand, and... - She literally said, or he, sorry, he said that,

I'm sorry that some people. just don't wanna meet expectations. That's what she said. I'm sorry that you can't meet my expectations. - 'Cause there were explanations that could have been given. where she's like, "I'm so sorry. "You know, like I'm very specific about things. "and I know and all this stuff.". But no, she said this, and it solidified where she's coming from. - [Chanse] This was an Am I The Devil, right? - No. (Amanda laughs). - Also, she didn't say anything. He wrote it for her, which is so bizarre.

- Controlling. - Well, she might not have a post. or might not have a account. - I don't have a computer. (crew laughs). I don't have a computer. - All right, here's your MacBook. Yeah, could I get more RAM on this? Bring it back. This isn't the RAM I wanted. - Not the RAM I wanted. - All right, here's our last story. - Okay. - [Chanse] That's crazy. - This comes from a great subreddit, Tales From Your Server. (Chanse gasps). - Ooh, love. - We'll get it. "The phone call. "I know we all have had those phone calls.

"The ones from customers after they get takeout. "and something was messed up. "They can range from the upset woman who got the chicken. "when it was supposed to be steak. "and wants it comped the next time she comes in, "to the raging man who found one onion in his taco. "and is planning to drive to the store. "to scream at the manager and wants everyone fired. "It's always a little nerve wracking. "when you deal with these phone calls. "The procedure for my store. "when getting one of these phone calls. "is to get a manager immediately. "But I feel like I can deal with these customers. "better than my managers. "And my managers all know this, "so I am allowed to take these calls.

"It was a busy Thursday evening. "because we have a burrito special, "so the store was slammed. "We also have Uber Eats, "which means we have Uber drivers coming in and out. "getting takeout orders. "On Uber Eats, the customer can sometimes write comments. "to specify certain things that they want done. "for their order. "After we slowed down a little bit, we got an Uber order. "And in the comments the man said, "'Could you please add napkins and draw a smiley face. "'on something to make me a little happy tonight?'. "Of course, after I showed all the servers, "we all freaked out.

"and decided we would write him so many notes. "just to brighten up his evening. "We ended up making over 50 notes, "including jokes, drawings, and little stories, "and added an extra side of queso. "It felt really nice to be able to do something for someone. "So as I was getting ready to clock out, "one of the other servers comes and gets me and says, "'There's a man on the phone. "'who wants to speak to a manager about something, "'but they're all so busy so can you take this?'. "Of course I'm like, oh geez, "I do not wanna be dealing with this right before I leave. "But I reluctantly agree and ask him how I can help.

"He proceeded to tell me that he was the one. "who placed the Uber order. "and after receiving all the notes, "he just wanted to call and say thank you. "He started to cry on the phone, "and I didn't know what to say. "So I just told him that we loved serving him. "and we hoped to continue to do so. "He told me that he wishes he was able. "to come into the restaurant, "but hadn't been able to leave his house in years. "His little splurge every week was ordering takeout. "from the store. "I started to tear up and asked him to hold on for a minute. "I got all the servers and put 'em on speaker phone. "to say hello from chain Mexican restaurant. "We all just wanted to say have a great night.

"And all the girls got the cue and started saying, "'Have a good night. "'Enjoy your burrito. "'We can't wait to to do this next week.'. "I took the phone off speakerphone. "after everyone had said something. "I told him that he was now not only a valued customer. "but a friend. "I thanked him again and hung up. "Now I'm sitting in my car crying, "thinking about this stranger, and I hoped we helped him.". Aw. - Oh. - Oh. - [Shayne] Yep. - I was waiting for the but. - I was waiting for the but too. - I was waiting for him to be like-. - But he showed up and-. - Blew up the restaurant.

- Then all of sudden this car drives through. - Drives through the restaurant. Write a happy face. - Oh, that's so sweet. I really thought for a second he was gonna be mad. about the notes. - Me too. - Which I was like 50's too many. Too many notes. - I thought they were gonna freak him out. Like, I thought he was gonna call and be like, "Hey, I asked for one smiley face.". - Yeah. - You gotta take these notes back. - Oh, that's so nice. - Do you guys have any memorable, like super wholesome stories from serving? - Oh, definitely, a lot of wholesome things happen.

- It's just the bad ones stick out. - The most. - It sucks. - But you probably had days. that like a customer brightened up your day. - Oh, absolutely. Some customers are absolutely amazing. Oh, I think a while back I had this... Oh, this girl, she had like lost her mom, and she was like eating food by herself. I forget. But I remember her being like, you could tell that she'd been crying all day.

And as a server, I don't get too personal ever. - [Shayne] Sure. - I like am in and out usually. - [Chanse] Yeah. - I'm not like, "Are you okay, honey?". Like, I don't do any of that. I just kind of let it be, and I very much like was kind. but like not over the top, just being normal. And at the end she just broke down into tears. and asked me for a hug because she was like, that was like, thank you for just like being there. And it was, I remember just (groans).

And I forget which restaurant that was but... And it was like a very slow day. It was like a lunch day, so there was like no one really around. And I remember being like, it was just very sweet and, yeah. - I just love serving parties, like birthday parties or anything. 'cause I'll make it the most fun. I'll make it the most fun experience you've ever had. - I am the opposite. I think it's too much pressure. - Oh. - Oh. - Easy. I'm like easy. And also I'm so extroverted,

and I get more energy from more people. So like a two top I'm not gonna do as well with, but like a 16 top I will be the life of, you'll be like, "That server was so fun.". - I am the opposite. A 16 top. I'm like, "Hello, let's turn on the performance.". Where a two top, I'm like, "Hey, let's get real. "Order this but don't order this, "and order this but order this.". - I do that too. - Let me get some taste for you. I (beep) love a two top. - Yeah. And people are always so appreciative, like, so, so appreciative.

They're like, "Servers never do this.". I'm like, I think you don't go out to eat a lot. because a lot of servers do. They're like, "Don't order that. "Do order that.". - Yeah, I always tell, I think maybe servers don't do that. - Really? - Yeah, because I get get that all the time. They're like-. - I used to get that all the time too. - You're the best server. No one ever tells me what to do. I'm like, what? - Yeah. - What's wrong with these servers then? - Yeah. - I definitely like when I go to a restaurant knowing like, not that I'm like, I'm brightening up this server's day. I like to know that I'm like, I'm not making their day worse.

Like, I just wanna be here. There was one time where I was at a restaurant with a friend. and we weren't being like extra like awesome to the server. We were just like, they would come by and they'd be like, "Hey, I'm so sorry this has taken a while.". And we'd just be like, "Oh, that's fine.". - [Chanse] Yeah. - But she kept coming back and be like, "Thank you guys for being so awesome.". And we could tell there was a table nearby that was awful. - [Amanda] Yeah. - But we were just literally being like, "Oh yeah, it's whatever. "Like, whatever.". To the point that at the end she was like, "Do you guys wanna do a shot with me right now?".

And we were like, "Yeah, sure." (laughs). We were just like, "Oh.". And then she brought us a free dessert. Like, a huge (beep) free dessert. - I did that shit all the time. - Like, oh, okay. - Yeah, I will always if the table is being chill. - Yep, the cooler you are, the more you're gonna get. - And they're like thinking about drinks. I'm like, "I'll just get you tasters.". - Yep, absolutely. - I'll get you tasters of everything. Try this. Hey, this was extra. - And there's so many hacks. Not only does the restaurant have built into it. for cool people. Like, the less you modify,

the more you're gonna get for free. - Yep. - The cooler you are, the more things you're gonna get off your bill. - Yep. There's so many hacks. You're right. And the restaurant builds them in there. - Yep, and the servers know their own hacks too. within the system of the restaurant. - Yes. - Yeah, this one's so sweet. - [Amanda] So sweet. - Really just like an awesome one. Some comments here. "I'm crying in the club right now.". - Oh my god. - Someone else said, "Take your (beep) up vote. "I'm ugly crying at this.".

Someone else said, "Was expecting to feed my cynicism. "but got hit right in the feels instead. "Bravo chain Mexican restaurant. "Bravo.". And then lastly, someone said, "The service industry definitely has its downs, "but brightening other people's day. "always helps brighten my own.". - [Amanda] It has a lot of ups. - It has a lot of ups. - [Shayne] It's a rollercoaster. - Service industry has a lot of ups. I've met some of the greatest people on the planet. - I would say mostly ups. - I agree with you. - 'Cause most people, when they're leaving, they're full.

They might be a little tipsy. They just had good conversation. - And you feel good. You feel good. And I love stories like that because really you really can. change someone's whole outlook, someone's whole day. by giving them food, giving them time. And you really don't have to do much, and I love it. There's so many ups. And also what I love too, what I used to love about serving. is it was an amazing meditation. because you weren't thinking about everything in your life.

You weren't thinking about anything. - You're in the (beep) zone. - You were just going. And when you're in the zone and hours pass by, you're like, oh, it's meditating. - It is meditative. - Whoa. Man. - Pretty cool. And being in the industry, especially in LA, oh my god. Every restaurant is connected with a web of industry people. - That's true. - You go in, you're like, "Oh yeah, I used to bartend here.". They're like, "Oh my god, free this, free that, free that.". Now when I go out with H,

every bar, it's like he knows someone from someone. and it's like, "Oh, try these drinks. "Oh, we got this new mezcal," or blah blah blah. It's so cool. - It is cool. - Come out with us, Shayne. - All alright, fine. Let's go to Chili's. - Okay. - It's far. I'll go to Chili's. - Well, thank you both for being here. This was awesome. - You're welcome. - And thank you for watching. Be kind to your waiters. Be kind to 'em. And let us know what other kinds of themes, subreddits you want us to cover. And we'll see you next week.

Bye! - Bye!