School Is In Session | Reading Reddit Stories
- Hello and welcome (bright music). to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.". I'm Shane, and today's theme is Back to School. And you might look around here and see. that the set looks a little different today. And that's because we are already. into our week of summer games. (group cheering). That's right. And I'm joined by two friends, two classmates, Damien and Angela. Well, Damien, technically you're the superintendent. - I'm the superintendent. They offered me normal intendent, and I was like, "Make it better or I walk.".
And then Smosh met me halfway. - Super. - Pretty awesome. - [Damien] Yeah. (staff laughs). - So we haven't started them in real life, but as of this being uploaded, we're into the games. And I don't know who's winning or who's losing. Hopefully, we're winning. - Hopefully, we're (beep) winning. I'm saying this right now. - We better be winning. - Yeah. - We're winning. - We're winning. - I will say I believe in both of you, but because you're both on the same team. in this Reddit area, and I'm supposed to be unbiased, I have to heavily favor the other team. just to make it a little bit balanced for this episode. is what I'll probably do. - So the pancakes today are at the cafeteria.
(Shane and staff laugh). - Oh! - And they're gross. - School morning lunch? You know, like breakfast? (Damien scoffs). - Oh my God, I saw your famous clip finally. - Oh, the fist bump? (staff laughs). - I died! - Ooh, rough, rough. - I was so new to Smosh then too. - I died! - That was so wild. - Rewatching it, I forgot how long it hangs for. - I haven't talked to you since I saw it. He was like, "This is Damien's moment.". And I was like what do you mean, like what is this gonna be?
- Yeah. - It's exquisite. - I hope you understand me a little bit better now. with that lore and knowing, oh, God, that's awesome. (staff laughs). - Yeah. - But, hey, see that? How easy that was? - If you're interested in watching some of the games, the summer games that have been out already, go check out the Smosh Games channel, this channel. This past week's uploads, are all summer games. So it's good stuff. - Good stuff. - All right, so we have some back to school stories. - Oh. - So they're gonna be all over the place, but they're gonna be about school.
- Just the natural instinct in me. when September comes around me to. (Angela grunts). and I'm like, Angela, you're an adult. Like, it's fine. Sunday night's too, I'm like, (Angela grunts). I gotta do my homework. - It's also my birthday month. And, you know, like I feel like having September. as a birthday month kinda- - That must have sucked. - There's a Green Day song for both y'all. that I think you're gonna (beep) love. - Yeah. (staff laughs). It's pretty cold in here, and I might do something we've never seen. There's been a blanket next to me this whole time. - It's very September of you to have a bundle of blankets.
- Yeah, it's just the AC is going right on me. So I'm like. should I just do this? - You know what? - It's "Reddit Stories" baby girl. (group laughs). - So it's "Reddit Stories," and I'm a little baby girl. (Angela laughs). - This actually works very well. - Is this cool? Our first story comes from r/confession. We have a confession here to start. ♪ These are our confessions ♪. - "I faked playing my instrument in the school band. all throughout middle school.".
Okay. (staff laughs). This is funny. because our episode of "Smosh Mouth" that was on Monday, we talked about how I was in band. when I was in middle school, and I did talk about how a lot of the concerts, I'd be like, you know what, I'm gonna sit this song out, and you just sit there and you pretend. because I'm just like I don't wanna make some squeaks and-. - That's crazy. - Like I can just sit here. and pretend and you can get away with it. - Just some inside baseball, we filmed that like a few hours ago. - Yeah. - So that's crazy.
And you didn't know this was coming. - I did not know this was coming. I read these for the first time here. - You didn't preplan your memory. - So I did that in middle school. This is a common thing. Now, he did it throughout all of middle school. I played some songs. - And you know. there was a solo or something. - That's the thing! A lot of those middle school ones, they don't have like solos. They don't have like different parts. You kinda, as a band, you just play the whole thing. So you can kinda just like. trust that the people around you are gonna play loud enough. - I don't know. I have an experience like this that I'll talk about later, but you can only go so far. - Okay.
Okay, here we go. "In middle school, my mom forced me to join the school band. I never had any music lessons. or played an instrument before that. So I felt really dumb. because all of the other kids took lessons. and knew how to play their instruments. I don't know how this happened, but I somehow was able to join. and ended up being the only French horn player. I faked playing it the entire time. I would literally just put my mouth on it. and click random buttons. without actually blowing any air out. And the funniest part. is when we went to the state band competition, the judges gave me a shoutout at the end.
for a lively and skilled performance. (Angela laughs). So either I was super convincing, or all of those judges were full of shit too. After the competition, my teacher and classmates praised me. for getting a shout out, and everyone thought I was a great french horn player. Thank God I never had to do a solo. because there's no way I could've pulled that off.". - Oh, that's it? - This is, yeah. This is extreme though. He didn't even know how to play it. - Yeah, you're the only one though. How do you hide that? - I knew how to play it. I knew how to play the saxophone. - You were just like- - I just was like, if I actually really like go for it here,
I'm worried it's gonna squeak. But I knew all the notes, I knew all the stuff. - But there were other saxophone players, right? - There was two others. - Then how are you the only french horn player. in this situation? Everyone's like, "I heard it was great.". - That's how useless of an instrument it is. - Hey! - Oh! - No, French horn players- - Now, the English horn. - Are gonna rip up the comments! - French horn players in the comments. just like, "(beep) you!". - The bassoon players are like. (Damien laughs). - The french horn players in the comments. pretending to comment. (Angela and staff laugh). - No, okay, first of all,
what I'm obsessed with with this story. is complimenting a musician for being lively when playing. - It's very funny. - Like no one's ever like, hey, that piano player's moving is really lively! - Wow, really getting his back into it. - It's all about the hips with piano. - Yeah. - I think in America, we call them freedom horns. - [Shane] Yeah. - That means though. he must've been really selling it in the back being like. - He's standing up, he's like-. - For them to be like, "Hey, you, Steve, you're killing it back there.". - Hey, hey, kid, I think you've got a shot in Hollywood.
(Angela and staff laugh). - Do you think everybody knew. and were just like, they're like, there's gotta be a, he's got like a lung issue and they're like, "You did really good. You did really good, buddy.". Like- - Hey. I like the lore reveal. that the judges are also pretending to be judges. (group laughs). - And they just go, "That guy's moving. I'll say you're a good musician.". - They're sitting there playing tic-tac-toe in their notes, and they're like, "Oh, wow. You got it.". - Yeah. (staff laughs). - So what was your story? - Okay, so I really relate to this, and I think a lot of people do, like the fact that you did that as well.
I did that a little bit. I played the flute for a brief stint, and it was like I was just hanging on, right? And you're just kinda like whatever. - Sure. - But in college, or was it college? I actually don't know if it was college or high school. We had to learn how to sight sing, and that's really (beep) hard. - Yeah. - I mean, all instruments and reading music is just hard. But for some reason I was like. I'll be able to figure this out. And I always just kinda like, you sing a note. So if we're both sight singing. (Damien and Angela sing). Like I was always a second behind 'cause I was never,
and I'd always like kinda look at it, but just be listening to whoever's right next to me. (Shane and staff laugh). - So funny. - That's not so bad. - But then they make you go down the line. - Oh. - And 'cause I was gonna say like any good music program's. gonna make sure everyone can hold their own weight. and do it alone. That's in like "Whiplash" too. And like, I will never get being like. (Angela sings). (Shane and Damien laugh). Like I would be like I'm just gonna jump in the pool. - You're just gonna do all the notes.
and hope one of 'em counts. (Angela sings). (group laughs) (Shane sings). - When he's like everybody else had lessons, is that the norm that like you don't learn. how to play your own instrument, you have to come in sorta knowing what you're doing? 'Cause I never did band. - Different programs are all, they're all over the place. - It's different by school, I think. So when I was in band, I think for the first couple years, I would go and it would be like just the saxophone players. - Okay. - And we would just play. And then like that was in elementary school. - You're usually grouped by instrument, so you just learn together.
and all play a C or all play a D, and you learn it on the thing. - Interesting. - But then it also depends on like arts funding. Hate to get political, but- - [Shane] That's true. - If you're not funding the arts, then I guess you have to come in and BYO, bring your own understanding. - BYOU, BY-OU. - Yeah, when we had the like-. - [Damien] Sorry. - When we had just the saxophone practice, you'd have to play, like you can't get away with it. But then we'd have full band practice,
or especially when we get to our concerts. and we're in the auditorium in front of all of our parents, that's where sometimes, I would know the specific parts in songs. where I'm like I've squeaked every time. I've gotten to this point. I'm just gonna not do it. - Yeah. - But I played really lightly. - The thing that's so weird to me about this though is like, if this is a program where most kids are taking lessons. in order to understand the instrument, then the mom has to know. that like, you know, she forced him to do this. So she has to know that if he's learning at school, in her mind, he would have to practice at home, right?
Like she never hears any french horn practice at home ever? Like this is just, I don't know. - Yeah, I know. - I don't know. - It still happens to me honestly to this day. With StarKid, they'll give you your vocal parts, and sometimes they'll be like, "Just the altos!". And then sometimes, they'll be like, "Someone's not singing right here," and I was like. (group laughs). Yeah, we gotta strengthen our part. We really do. It's hard. - Sidebar, I think it's Jake. We gotta kill him.
- In the comments, someone said, "Did they not do a tryout assessment. each semester/year? Did the conductor never go down the line. or have you play solo? If not, what is going on in music?". - Well, maybe we're not paying our conductors! - Yeah. (staff laughs). OP responded saying, "My instructor didn't seem to care that much about the band. She was the same instructor for chorus and show choir. and was definitely more into that. And she never had us individually do our parts. She'd just have us all play together. and only stop us to individually play. if she heard something was off. Sometimes she'd have the bigger sections play.
without the other sections to hear them. But for the sections with one to two players, she'd never have us do it individually. (Angela laughs). We went over very basic music theory, and for our final exams, we took a written test. I still never learned to play the french horn, but I've gone on to learn the piano, guitar, and become a classically trained vocalist. When I'm not at my day job, I'm part of a musical theater club, and I promise I'm not lip syncing LOL.". - Same. (group laughs). - Wow, that's crazy! - So they were like, actually, you know what, I'm gonna start playing other instruments.
- Yeah. - That sucks a lot, and Angela, you're right. about the like not paying teacher thing. Like a part of me wants to be like, oh, it sucks the teacher didn't care. But at the same time, I'm like you wanna teach. three different groups of kids every instrument and singing. and then also performance singing? Like uh-uh. - [Shane] Yeah. - She takes a huge hit of her vape. She goes, "I think the french horn sounds fine.". (group laughs). - I'm laughing at like her not caring about band, but she loves show choir. (Angela laughs). So it's like band practice then, she's like, "All right, guys, like great work, everyone.
All right, see you later.". And as they're leaving, show choir comes in, and you see her just like, "What's up, guys? Come on in!". Just like loves them. - She just flipping watches "Glee" every day. - [Shane] Yeah. - Or she's like, "This sounds great!". No, I was listening to our cast recording. of "Dear Evan Hansen," (group laughs). and I think it's gonna be great. - Waving through your window. - Someone else said, "LOL I did the same thing in middle school. Only one other saxophone player ever found out. I never played during concerts or practices.". - I think it's very relatable and it happens everywhere. - Oh, totally. Lastly, someone said,
"Maybe the judges just hate the French horn. and thought it sounded so great because it was missing.". (Angela and staff laugh). - Wow. - Makes you think. Today's "Reddit Stories" is brought to you by Zocdoc. Hey, remember that doctor's appointment. you were supposed to make a while ago? That one you meant to book, but you got sidetracked, and completely forgot about it until now? You know, that dentist appointment. for your biannual cleaning, or if you're like me, that overdue annual checkup, you've been off year after year. Well, why not book it today? Zocdoc makes it easy to find the right doctor right now, and it's all online.
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and go to zocdoc.com/pitreddit. to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com/pitreddit. Zocdoc.com/pitreddit. (bright music). Back to the show. All right, our next story comes from petty revenge. - Ooh! - Love this. "College roommate ate my food so I sold their books.".
- Oh. - Oh. (Shane and staff laugh). - Oh. - Oh. Dreadful. (Damien and Angela laugh). A roommate ate your food? I've never heard of that. - Did you eat his food? - No. - No, just it's a common thing. - Oh, I thought it was a bit 'cause you guys are roommates. - Actually, no, Damien never did that. - Why would you immediately go to that? Why would you think that he didn't eat my food? - [Shane] Why would you do that? - 'Cause I'm sitting down with two old roommates. - Why would you- - I'm not that old, Angela. - You just called us old? - By the time this comes out, (Angela and staff laugh).
I'm still, my back doesn't even hurt. - "In 2010, while I was in college, I lived in off-campus housing with a male roommate, who frequently had friends over, which did not bother me, but their lack of common decency really frustrated me. One week, I purchased a significant amount of groceries. for myself. I had to go home for the weekend due to an emergency. Once I returned, all of my groceries were gone. After addressing the issue with my roommate, he assured me it wouldn't happen again. But unfortunately, it continued to occur. This one time, my mother made me chicken and spinach. He asked me who made the chicken.
I told him, my mom. He said it was really good. I never gave him permission to eat my food. I started storing most of my food in my room. The breaking point came. when my mother prepared a delicious meal. of salmon, broccoli, and sweet potatoes for me. I left the food in the fridge while I went to campus. to help make meals for the homeless. I should have packed him a sandwich. Once I returned, I found my roommate's friends. enjoying my mother's cooking and praising it. Feeling disrespected, I took matters into my own hands. While my roommate was in class, I entered his room, collected all of his books and clickers,
and sold them to a resell bookstore on campus. After that, he never touched my shit. Truth is that I would've never had an issue with sharing. if he asked and saved me some of my food. They never asked, and they always ate everything. Additional information, we never had a conversation about what happened. But he stopped eating my food, so I'm sure he knew I took his books. I don't think I got more than $100. for the books and clickers, but the money was not the motive. Clickers, we used to use this back in the day.
for attendance and pop quiz. It's like a remote connected to your student ID. - I'm a little ticked off. - Yeah? - What are you thinking? - Those are his books! (group laughs). I don't know. At UCLA, books were so, like they're so expensive, so stupid, you have to wait in so many lines to get 'em. I'm like you can get new yams, new mom's yams. - You can get a new mom. Your dad's been dating. - Get a new mom! - Or like eat his food.
Don't go for his education, man. - You're saying go for an eye for an eye, like eat his food. - Yeah! Don't go eye for foot. - It doesn't sound like they have any food. The roommate's eating all of her food, and the roommate's friends are eating all of her food. and bragging about it. in front of her face. - No, okay, no, I have to say, that sucks. And that's rude, that's very, that sucks. - It's a (beep) move, it's bullying. It's like really entitled. But I do get what you're saying about like, yeah, you take your petty revenge, whatever. It's just a weird like left turn. It's not like, well, I'm gonna make you food that,
like we've heard stories where it's like. I made food that was way too spicy and that'll teach 'em. This one's like, well, I'm gonna take your bed. and throw it in a river. - It's a conversation of is she elevating it? 'Cause and now it's like in the-. - 'Cause that like is like someone's education. But also that's their food! You're right. No, there's no one-. - My thinking is always this, and I know some people disagree. 'cause some people view of like, no, you get your revenge. - Yeah. - Right? I never thought that way. I still don't think that way, especially with roommates, 'cause I'm like you live with this person.
They have access to all your shit. - Yeah. - If you wanna elevate it-. - Like your books. - You can. Or get your revenge, you can. But now, they're probably gonna go for their strike now. - Yeah. - And now they hate you. 'cause now you've established you're enemies. - I'm like you grab their books, what are they gonna grab my wallet next? Like you're upping the game. - That would be where I'm thinking. I'm not thinking a matter of what they deserve, I'm thinking a matter of like my own safety and stuff. - That's exactly it. - Already, they disrespect me. They clearly don't care about me. - Yes. - Are they the types.
that are gonna go all out? - And some deescalation of revenge is kinda funny. Like if you did something really small and lame, or like something like, just like something stupid to just like get into his skin. - Yeah, release a bunch of bugs in his room. A bunch of bugs. - That's awful. - Or like, you know, just like kill him. - [Damien] Just hit him. - Just a little kill. - Just like a little kill. - College roommates is such a weird time. because people are in their own insular little bubble. growing up however they grow up in their own house,
generally not seeing how anyone else lives, what anyone else's food rules are, like living style is. And then you live together, and it's immediately like you do what? - I know. - Like in my family, it was like, hey, you throw out lunch meat. after five or six days. 'cause it's not good in the fridge after that, and when I said that like one day when living with people, three other people turned around, they were like, "What? Only five or six days?". And someone's like, "Two weeks is fine!". And someone's like, it's like, (Shane laughs). who's right? I don't know. But still like, everybody's like, no, this is the way it is. 'cause that's how I grew up. Sounds like he's like a spoiled little man baby.
- I think there's a lot of spoiled people, who, once they have roommates, they grew up their whole life just being able to, they were just provided for so much-. - Yeah. - That they're just like, yeah, everything that's in the house, I eat. - You know what's weird to me too is like, usually when you hear stories like this, it's like, oh, my roommate ate all my chips. All his friends came over. and were like, "Do you have any snacks?". He's like, "Yeah, we have chips.". I can't imagine being someone's friend being like, "Do you have any food?". And it's like, "Yeah, we have some delicious. salmon and broccoli. with sweet potatoes." (Shane laughs). It's like that's an entire ass meal. Let's go. Like for four people? Let's do it. - I'd be, if I went over to,
say I went over to your house and you had roommates. And you were like, "Oh, I have this delicious meal.". And I'm like, oh, cool, and we're eating it. And then your roommate gets home, and they go, "Hey, where's the, like where's that meal I have?". And it's like, "Oh, who cooked it?". It's like, "My mom," and you're like, "Delicious!". I'd be like I need to leave! Like we just committed a crime! - And they're like, "I don't actually live here. We gotta go." (Shane laughs). (Angela laughs). - You have like a candle-lit dinner, and you're like, "We gotta go!".
- We have to get out. - Uh-oh, the owner showed up. We gotta leave. - If in college, someone offered me. like sweet potatoes and chicken made from their mom, I'd be like do you have like a PBR? (Damien and Shane laugh). And like maybe like a Twizzler? Like I don't want like a vegetable. - Do you have Top Ramen. and maybe a Coke? - Yeah! - I've been surviving off that. - And then going this doesn't belong to you? (Angela and Damien laugh). - Dude, but like we've all met these people. that are this entitled. - Yeah. - It's like mind blowing when you're face to face with them.
You're like, wait, how do you not care? - Yeah. Yeah. - It's shocking. I'm curious what the comments will say. Someone said, "I had a similar situation. that I've definitely mentioned on Reddit before. I bought a huge bag of rice. at the local Asian grocery store, like 50 pounds, because I was broke as hell, but it's a lot cheaper to buy it that way. I caught my roommate giving some random person. a significant portion of my rice one day. I said, 'Hey, what the (beep)? That's my rice, not yours. You can't give away like one fifth of it without asking.'.
He said, 'But you have so much of it.'. 'Yeah, because I'm rationing it out. for the rest of the year, you idiot.'. He thought of himself as a musician. and had a lot of musical instruments in his room, so later that week, I gave away some of his guitars. to various people in that dorm. He was very angry, but my response was simply, 'But you have so many of them.'". - Rice for guitars? - "It's a fun story, but he's dead now. Don't go skiing at night y'all.". (Angela and staff laugh). - Or I'll get you. (Damien laughs). - Whoa! - What do you mean?
All of these stories have hard left turns. - See, I gotta, this is why though like, these types of comments are why I'm like, hey, like I don't (beep) with people. - Yeah. (Angela laughs). - Because like you never know who's just a murderer. like in the making. I'm like I don't think you'll kill them, but I think you could kill someone. - Yeah. - He gave away a fifth of my rice, so I sold his dog. - Anyway, anyway, don't ski at night. (group laughs). - I'm like all right, man, cool. Like great. - You stole my pork rinds? I took your skin. (staff laughs).
- The way he's telling that story, I'm like I understand that he took a fifth of your rice. and gave it to someone. You seem like you're happy he's dead. Like damn, dude. - Yeah, it's also so ominous. to end everything with something. completely about something else and being like, anyway, don't hydroplane when it's snowing. (group laughs). - I was the ice. - Someone said, "I would've sold his info on the internet. I don't play about my mom's food, but that's just me.". OP said, "That was what pushed me over the edge.
It was literally my favorite dish. and they ate everything LOL.". - I guess this is the petty revenge Reddit. Like people are gonna be here and they're like-. - People are here for revenge. - Yeah. - They love revenge. Someone said, "College roommates suck. I had two that were eating my food. and refused to clean up their messes. One roommate constantly left bowls. of his leftover milk from cereal, cereal he never purchased, in the sink until the milk went rancid. The other roommate and I. started putting those bowls full of milk under his bed.
His room literally-". - Oh my God! - "His room. really smelled bad." - Bongs aren't so bad now, huh, Angela? - "We kept one bowl each. and would immediately clean it and hide it in our rooms.". Okay, that is more in line of like revenge. that I think is fair. I'm like he's leaving this out. It's rancid, it smells bad for everyone. You're just taking what he's doing, you're making the consequences of his actions. affect him more than everyone else. That to me is like, that's right. - But how do you do that in this person's situation.
where it's like you took my mom's salmon, I'm taking it back from you. Vomit, now. - My only thought with this is I'm just like, okay, well you're moving out now, right? - Yeah. - Yeah, you're right, yeah. - Or they're moving out. Like you can't live together now. - You've declared war. - Yeah. - You absolutely declared war, and some people are out of their mind. - Yeah. - That's just where my head goes. - 100%. - It's where you have to like abandon the idea. of like fairness sometimes, where it's like, oh, man, they still have like one over on me. and I wanna get them back, but I don't know. It's like sometimes you can just be like. it sucks they took my thing. I'd rather not get stabbed. in the middle of the night. - [Shane] Right.
- But that takes a lot of growth. - It does because we're old now. - That's how I've, I feel like that's how I've always been though. I'm the type that if someone wrongs me, now a roommate is so tough, right? But if someone wrongs me, my initial thought is not how do I get back at them, my initial thought is how do I get removed, how do I remove them from my life, or I remove myself from their sphere. as quickly as possible. - That's you taking care of yourself. But there are some people that when you are so deeply hurt, like your body's reaction for some reason is to also hurt.
Like it's just this like (beep) up part of being human. - It's the desire for catharsis, right? Like and I understand that's a very valid thing. I think where I also go though, and what I would ask anyone who's like seeking revenge. or is like I'm gonna do this, I'm like what is the outcome you desire? - Yes, that's great. - Right? 'Cause the whole purpose, I think, deep down with revenge. is that you wanna teach them a lesson. You want them to stop. - Yeah. - Now, I guess they are saying in this. that they haven't touched their food since. Truth is, but so all we know.
is that actually it luckily worked out. But I'm like, for me, nine times outta 10, doing something like that. is gonna culminate in horrible shit. - Yeah. - It's like bringing a gun. to a knife fight or whatever. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's why even like. on the road, especially in LA, I'm like, oh, I don't flip people off. I don't do, no matter how wrong someone is, I'm not escalating it 'cause I'm like people have guns. - Yeah. - Like people be having guns. - I've been like chased in a car before. by a guy that's like next to me like. (Damien imitates driver yelling).
- Oh, yeah, me too. - It's crazy shit. - Yeah. Well, next story. - Oh, there's a third. Thank goodness. - I took off the blanket (Angela laughs). 'cause it's now a little bit warmer in here and I feel good, so you can really see the full Hollywood hotdog. - We're winning. - The better team. - Yeah. - Nah-ah! - We are winning right now. And this is like a manifestation. - It's gonna be so embarrassing. if we are horribly losing by this point.
- Chance single handedly is like the golden boy-. - Just crushing us. - Who's destroying you. - Or if we have a massive falling out, you and me. - Yeah. (Damien gasps). - We'll look back at this footage and be like, remember they used to talk. - Wow. - And then they became hotdogs. - A falling out when we're on the same team. That's brutal. - Yeah. - I could see it happening. - It's actually more likely I think. - It's a lot of games videos already. - Yeah, it's true. Next story. This comes from Today I (beep) Up. "Today I (beep) up by holding a grudge for 29 years. against a kid at school who called me 'Carrot Boy.'".
(Shane and Damien exhale). - People really come packing with these titles. (Damien and staff laugh). - Now, OP is saying that he messed up-. - He messed up. - By holding a grudge. for 29 years. All right, "The names, including my own, have been modified to false names. About 29 years ago, I was in the third grade. I took one of those carrot packs out of my lunchbox, the kind that came with a little cup of ranch dressing. All of a sudden, this kid, Balthazar, said, 'Hey, everyone, look! Tim is a carrot boy!'. Everyone at the whole lunch table started to laugh.
I couldn't believe it. For some reason, that incident really stuck with me. Nobody really brought it up again, but I became self-conscious in elementary school. for eating carrots. Later, I lost that self-consciousness, but all through school and into adulthood, I always thought of that and built it up in my head. as this big disrespectful insult to me. Whenever I eat carrots, the memory pops up basically involuntarily. Whenever I see carrots, I remember Balthazar going, 'Hey everyone, look! Tim is a carrot boy!'. And hear the laughter. (Angela chuckles).
What you should know is that I am from a small town, and although I left, a lot of the kids I knew are still there. I saw that over the holidays, there was an impromptu high school reunion event scheduled. I decided to show up. I haven't these people regularly in a long time. Well, who should be there, but Balthazar. All of a sudden, the old anger welled up in me. I don't know what I was thinking. It seems so ridiculous now, but I saw a big tray of carrots. meant for everyone at the buffet table, and I picked up the entire tray. and carried it to Balthy's table.
I started eating carrots angrily. Everyone at the table and surrounding tables. were staring at me. I then said, 'Guess I'm still a carrot boy, huh?'. I almost immediately realized my (beep) up. when everyone looked at me like I was insane. and they had no idea what I was referencing. So I awkwardly asked Baltho and the other people around. if they remembered him calling me a carrot boy. in the third grade, and nobody did. So I was like, 'This did happen. You really did call me a carrot boy.'. And he was like, 'Uh, okay. Sorry man?'.
Somebody next to me put their hand on my arm. and whispered to me, 'Are you okay?'. as if I was having a mental breakdown or something. I was so embarrassed that I just got up and left. Multiple people have texted me asking me if I'm all right. and why did I do that, and did I really hold a grudge. for some innocuous, silly remark that a third grader made. almost 30 years ago? When it was put to me like that, I realized maybe I was the one being weird. (staff laughs). Balthazar wasn't like a bully or something.
Aside from that one insult, he never did anything else to me, and in high school, was kind of known as being a do-gooder. I had built it up as this major incident, but nobody else even remembered it. I was horrified to find that several people from the reunion. unfriended me on Facebook, and I saw photos of the event. and somebody had tagged me in the background as Carrot Boy. And none other than Balthazar responded to the post. asking the poster to remove the tag, even though several other people. had replied with laugh emojis. Now, I feel like I have made a huge fool of myself.
and can never show myself in this town again. Well, maybe that's okay. I don't like the town anyways. But I am so embarrassed, I can hardly sleep, and it has been a few weeks since the incident. Oh, God.". Another 30 years are gonna pass, and he's gonna meet up with him and he's gonna be like, "Hey, I wanna talk about that high school reunion.". (group laughs). - This is a gem. - The entire first half, I imagined like him riding in a thunderstorm at midnight, like "The Raven" style, like it was then that he called me Carrot Boy, and I remember. (Shane laughs).
It didn't even become a nickname! It didn't even stick! - No, it was the one incident. - He's 37 or 38 right now. - And that Carrot Boy comment, which means the rest of his school years were a breeze. If Carrot Boy from third grade is what stands out to you, then you made it through high school. without anything that much worse. - That's a crazy point. - [Shane] Nothing else. - You did puberty. and just drove right on by. - Nothing else? Nothing else stuck? Carrot Boy, it's not even that bad. - No, and also like to his credit, you know,
eight-year-olds, nine-year-olds, that's not even a good joke for them to laugh at. Like the whole class laughing at it, Carrot Boy? That sucks, like that does suck. - Little disappointing. - What's honestly remarkable to me about this story. is the fact that he made himself Carrot Boy at the end, that he got tagged in a post, that sometimes the things that we keep, we decide stay with us. - Yeah, it's like a parable. - Right? Like he became Carrot Boy. - Yeah. - He did the carrots.
at the reunion as an adult. - As a boy. - He was like I am Carrot Boy. No one said he was Carrot Boy besides him. - I even think it would be wild to like. be at the tray with somebody and be like, well, I guess you expect me to eat all these, huh? The fact that he brought it over to the table, like he really spent 29 years as Carrot Boy in his mind. - But also I also get it, like it's wild the things that stick with you, right? That you like bring up to your friends, and you're like, "Remember that happened?". And they're like, "No.". Like me and my brother all the time,
I'll remember some of the most embarrassing shit. He's like, "I don't remember that at all.". And it's like, oh, it sticks with you longer. - It does. It does. No, that's fair. - So it's very fair. - That's real. But it's like at a certain point going, okay, like, putting it into the context of like, well, they're not gonna remember that. That's from third grade. - Yeah. - Like it affected me, it's a core memory for me, but that doesn't mean it's a core memory for them. - But like it's a core memory for me, right? And I have no control over it 'cause I felt humiliated. But I do have control of the rest of my life, and I don't want it to be a core memory anymore.
Like I don't have to bring it into these new spaces. - Yeah. - Therapy is expensive, but 29 years, you can maybe find, scrape together some change. for one session at some point in there. - So Carrot Boy. - So Carrot Boy. I also, what's funny is around fourth grade, fifth grade, I have a carrot-related story. - Oh. - Where, you know, I was a little bit of a goofster in my day. - Well, you're kidding. - Angela, if you can believe it, as I live and breathe, I was a goofster. - Okay. - And I had these little carrot sticks, right? And I put one sort of where my teeth go.
And you guys know the animal, the walrus? - I've heard of it. - So I was sorta like a carrot walrus and it slayed. And then this girl, I'll change her name for posterity. - Balthazar. - Balthazina. Balthazina came up and went boof. and hit both carrots and it kinda hurt my gums a little bit. - Okay. - And do you wanna know, the crazy thing is I didn't think about that. from then until now. (Angela and staff laugh). It was only that day and then only right now. (Shane laughs). And it's just that easy.
- That girl that bumped him up, Kate Hudson. No, I'm kidding. (Damien and staff laugh). - And she turned out to be Kate Hudson. - Yeah. No, I mean, I cannot knock this person. for like this sticking with him, right? 'Cause stuff like from your childhood-. - Yeah. - Stuff sticks. - Like I, core memory, in middle school, it might've been elementary school or middle school, there was a dance, and like a dance circle formed. and just kids were hopping into it, and I remember I got booed out of it. (staff gasps). And like, to this day I'm like I won't dance. - Oh no! (Shane laughs). Shane, that's the saddest thing I've ever heard!
- It's also deeply funny. - I'm trying to keep going hoo, but I'm laughing, so I'm like. - Shane, this is gonna sound like an insult. and I mean it as the highest compliment. (Shane laughs). You turned out so well. - You should not dance. - You turned out so well for all the things of like, yeah, I got booed while dancing, I was homeschooled. Like your life is awesome! You did great! And there were all of these things going against you. - Cut to us on a Disney show. where the end of the first episode they're like,
"All right, now here's the part where you all dance.". - I know! (Shane yells). (Shane imitates "Psycho" music). - I also got made fun of for dancing in elementary school. Like there was a day where everybody had to dance this song. and people were like, "Look what Damien's doing.". And I stopped and to this day, yeah. - I think it's a very base level insult. dudes throw at each other in elementary school. - No, I think- - Like boys are just like, "Ha, you're dancing! You're dumb!". - No, I think learning to dance is humiliating. no matter the gender. - Yeah? - When you're young, I remember we used to play Big Booty in my like, like in theater class. - Yeah. - And I was humiliated to play.
- Was there dancing in Big Booty? - It was like a, it was a version of it that you would dance. But thinking of someone getting booed? (Angela laughs). - Yeah, that sucks a lot. (Shane laughs). - It was pretty rough. - So sorry. - Pretty rough. - Damn, dude. - And then like. what if you went back to your reunion, you're like, "How about this, huh?". And everyone's like what? (group laughs). - You do a full like "Footloose" routine. - Yeah. (Shane laughs). - And they're like, "Sick, dude.". Like all right. - Isn't that the guy that's like a YouTuber now? (Shane and Angela laugh).
- I think that's the Goldbergs' kid. - Okay, comments. "That's some self-fulfilling prophecy shit.". - Yeah. - 10,000 up votes. Someone said, "I have hard secondhand cringe.". Someone said, "'I picked up the entire tray. and carried it to Balthy's table.'. Oh my God, he's going to dump the carrots. on his classmates." - Yeah. - "'I started eating carrots angrily,' question marks.". (Damien staff laugh). - "And then he realized he was no longer a carrot boy, wipes tear, but a carrot man.".
(staff laughs). I will say that the self-fulfilling prophecy thing is true. of like the things that you hold onto, you will become. - You bring it into the room. - Yeah. - You will become it. - Like it wasn't there, and you brought it in. - Yeah. - That's like Greek tragedy level. of like this is the prophecy. and because you know about it, it's gonna happen. - It's actually very much like a, it's true. - It's like Oedipus. It's like he was punished. for what he's going to do in the future, and he was punished by being abandoned as a baby, and that's what leads to him. doing all that stuff in the future. - First Oedipus reference in a "Reddit Stories.".
- Boom! And it's not even about the mom stuff. - That's actually kind of shocking. that Oedipus has not been brought up before. in "Reddit Stories." - I was gonna say this is-. - [James] Redipus. - Redipus! - Redipus! - James with the slam dunk. - From the half court! - I wish they could've seen Redipus. - That sounds like a Spencer joke. Dare I say Redipus. - It's actually very much like an acting thing. where in like scenes like, I've had coaches be like, "Yeah, whatever you're thinking about. is what we're gonna see.".
- [Angela and Damien] Yeah. - And it's like it's true. Like if you're uncomfortable or something, it's like we're just gonna see that. Like you have to focus on what you want us see. and what you'll become. - Yep. - But, hey, I mean, not to toot my own horn, but I'm the fist bump guy. - Don't. Don't. - And this is my Carrot Man moment. (group laughs). I really wasn't the fist bump guy. (Shane laughs). Are you okay? Am I taking up too much space? - No, not at all. I just move a lot. - I move a lot too. - Keep up.
- It's okay. (staff laughs). - Ooh, that's some challenging. - Oedipus. - Oedipus. (staff laughs). - Our next story. (Angela laughs). "Today I messed up by nailing my crush with a football. and making the whole school hate me.". This came from nine years ago. - Ooh. - "I was in PE today playing football with the boys class. The girls class was on the side of the field. warming up to run laps. Only one girl caught my attention though, my crush, leaning on the chain link fence.
As usual, she was too cool to be there.". - (beep) yeah. (staff laughs). - Smoking a cigarette, legs all the way down to the ground. (Shane and staff laugh). - "As I half-assedly played the game, I decided I'd get her attention. by tossing the football nearby her, then coolly saying hi when I went to retrieve it. Maybe that would blossom into a conversation later. I was so excited. What a great idea. Well, the moment I got that ball, I sent it flying in her direction with all my strength. Oh shit, I realized too late. I forgot to make that look like an accident.
Also, that throw was way too close. (beep). It's going to hit her. She noticed too. Directly in the ball's path with no time to run, she covered her face. It nailed her in the groin. Everyone went silent. as she collapsed to the grass in a ball. They stared at her, then at me. They did not look happy. I was overloaded with horror. between my instant pariah status. and the ghastly fate of this poor girl's womanhood. (beep) this. I took off sprinting right to the junior parking lot.
PE is the last class of the day, so I jumped in my car and got the (beep) out of there.". - What a coward! (staff laughs). - "I was sobbing when I got home. My mother asked me why, and I told her that I stopped at Taco Bell on the way home. and got jalapenos in my eye.". - Coward! Weird. (staff laughs). Okay, I throw it, it hits her, she's on the ground crying. I go, "I like you!" (group laughs). - That's a better shot than-. - I double down, and I go, "Oh! I have a crush on you! I (beep) up!". - It's the knowledge.
that like you get as an adult that like, whenever someone's like, "What would you tell your teenage self?". It's like nothing. You know, you have to learn the lessons you learn. I take that back. It would be just like just go talk to someone. Just go say like, "Hey, I think you're cute.". Like, "How's it going," you know? And if they're not interested, you go away, and that's how it goes. But the fact that it's like, okay, you go over here, and I'll throw this to you and then I'll pretend to trip. and I'll look up and be like, "Oops, can I kiss you?". Like just it's so stupid. - But this is the logic we pull in high school. - It is. - And also what so many people. pull in their 30s. - I was gonna say. Why'd you look at me when you said that?
- I just, no. I just- (group laughs). - You know it's like when someone eats all your food. as a roommate, you know? - I'm (beep) with you. - What? - When someone eats. all your food as your roommate? You know what it's like. (group laughs). - I did that kinda shit even in college. I'd be like, oh, we're meeting here. What, what? I feel like you like think when you have crushes. that you have to do, like you have to just create a bunch of meet cutes. and organic stuff instead of just doing anything. - I think everything in media tells us. that that's how it should go. - Like you can't just like have a desire, go up to somebody and like talk to them. You just have to be like, oops, that ball fell.
- You know what it is, it's because we fear that it's boring, right? Like direct communication seems boring. 'cause it's not movie-like, it's not TV show-like. It's just like, oh, you're just going up. and you're just saying, "Hey, I'm like, would you ever wanna hang out?". - Also, there's like a bad rep around just trying. - Absolutely. Especially when you're young. - Just trying anything and doing it. and not like falling accidentally into this. and going, "Hey, what's up?". - And the more directly you put yourself out there,
the more directly it's asking someone out, the more cemented their rejection is, right? 'Cause if it's just throwing out hints. and they kinda shoo it away, you can tell yourself like, oh, well, you know, it's whatever, and you're not hurt. - Yeah. - But if you go and you say, "Hey, I'm interested in you,". and they go, "I'm not interested in you,". it's like, oh, and now I know that for real. - I've had great interactions with people. when I've just been like forthright where it's just like, "Hey, I think you're really attractive. and I'm interested in you. Would you like to go, you know, do this something sometime?". And like not like I've never been rejected before,
but I'm saying if the person is at all interested, that's very like, oh my God, it's so refreshing. Like that was really direct. - For sure. - And I was like, thank you, yep, that's-. - Yeah. - It's sometimes called. like the Tiz Rizz where you're just like, (Shane laughs). it is, where you're just like, "This is how I feel.". And then someone's like, "Oh, shit. Like cool.". - [Shane] Nice. - Throwing the ball at her is so funny. - It's very funny. And, I mean, like that's a great opener for a conversation. You just walk over and you be like, "You didn't catch it!".
(group laughs). What's up? - Girl, keep up! - Oh my God, are you okay? I saw that that guy threw that at you! - That was me! (Shane laughs). - I did that! - I was aiming for it! (Shane laughs). - Well, it looks like you need a little lesson. on how to catch. Why don't we hang. (staff laughs). (beep). - Comments. "'So I jumped in my car.'. Damn, up until that point, I was picturing you in like eighth grade.". - Yeah. Yeah. (Angela and staff laugh). - You are driving a car. - I did so too, especially PE.
- [Damien And Shane] Yeah. - Someone said, "She might've forgiven you. for hitting her with the ball, but not for running away. Dude, you're screwed.". Someone said, "LOL I hit my crush twice with a football. and soccer ball totally by accident. Both times, the ball hit her in the head. It was terrible when it occurred, but she is now my girlfriend, so all is good. Just make sure to apologize to her.". Someone said- (Angela claps). - My very concussed girlfriend. - Someone said, "2029, married to her with two kids. Placing that bet now.". That's possible. - That's a little too soon. Play the field. - Yeah, he ran away.
- [Damien] Yeah. - He ran away and then did this weird Taco Bell lie. that doesn't really matter. - You lied to your mom actually. - I think what's the most important. is that your mom doesn't respect you anymore. - I went through the drive through and I got jalapenos. and I put 'em all over my eyes and I came back. (Angela laughs). - It's like you don't even know how to eat Taco Bell? Give me your license. You can't drive. - She's like, "Hun, jalapenos are an extra $0.49. And we have 'em at home. You don't know how to use your money anymore. You lose your car privileges. (Shane laughs). You lose your car privileges.".
- Oh my God. - I got hit in the face with the tennis ball once. by my best friend. and I watched it happen. We were trying to collect the tennis balls after playing, and so he like hit it back toward me and I just watched, and I was like, oh shit, it's coming right for my face. and the teeth hit me right in the mouth. - No! - Yeah. - You don't make it through school. without getting just rocked. - Oh, yeah. I was walking at UCLA. It was an awful day. I had a really hot chai latte in my hand. and a Frisbee hit me so big in the... (Shane and Damien laugh). When I tell you,
I was. so upset, I went, "Who the (beep) are you two little children boys. playing frisbee while we all have schoolwork?". I was stressed. I was mad. My chai latte went flying. - Sure. - Did it hit the chai latte or did it hit-. - It hit my face and I just. - I think the impact was probably enough. that you're like in shock. You dropped it. - I was like, "Oh, we're just like hanging out?". I was like, "It's not a Saturday, you dumb two (beep).
It's a Tuesday and we all have school!". I was so pissed. - Getting hit by a frisbee's rough. - I cried. - That's hard. Where was it like eyebrow or like what was-. - Like right. - You were like, you're just like- - It flew flat? - Like, no, it was like right here. - I like to think that you were yelling. and then you started crying. You were like, "How dare you!". - No, I started crying and I was like, "I'm fine, it's okay.". And then I started walking and I was talking to them. I left them. and I was still talking to 'em going, "Who are you?".
- Do you realize that's those kids. like "Stand By Me" moment? (group laughs). They're gonna meet up 20 years from now and be like, "Remember when we hit that girl with the-". - That girl looked stressed! - Remember when we ruined her life? - Yeah, before that, you didn't even like theater, and you get hit and you're just like, ah, and your whole life is different. It like just hits your brain just the right way. You're like I think I'll do StarKid. - That's so funny. Damn. - God, that's awful. - My friends and I, I'm realizing this is crazy,
we used to just throw rocks at each other. - Florida's crazy, huh? - It was Arizona and there were just like rocks everywhere, and we were bored, so we're just throwing rocks at each other. - It's like a Gameboy that grows outta the ground. - We're throwing like rocks at each other. - When I say again it's so- - But I did get rocked. I got rocked in the (beep) forehead by one of these rocks. - You turned out so well (Shane laughs). for every circumstance in your life. Like, yeah, we hit each other with rocks, I was homeschooled, I got made fun of for dancing,
and you're like the most well adjusted person. I've ever met. - [Emily] Also drowned. - Yeah, I drowned. - Twice! - The elements got me. - Yeah, we used to just throw rocks. - We just, that's all we had, so we'd throw rocks at each other. - Thank God kids have the internet now. - Ooh. - Actually, yeah. - That was loaded. We throw different kinds of rocks now. - Dwayne Johnson, get on up here. - We throw upvotes at each other now. - Yeah, back to Reddit. - Yeah. - All right, our next story comes from Am I the Asshole. "Am I the asshole for telling my daughter. that life isn't high school,
and if it was, she would be the loser now?". - Ooh. - Calling your daughter a loser is rough. - Guys, let's hear 'em out, let's hear 'em out. - Sounds like one of those tough love conversations. that you're like this'll set 'em straight, and you're like you're gonna give them a complex. - Okay, "My daughter is 24, Kelly.". - Get it fixed. - "And my younger daughter is 23, Sarah. They both had very different high school experiences. Kelly was very social and in different sports. Sarah was very academic and had a small group of friends.".
- I'm so sorry. Can you go back to which one's which again? - So Kelly is the 24-year-old daughter. Sarah is the 23-year-old daughter. - Okay. Cool, thank you. - Okay. Kelly was the one who was popular and very social. and did different sports in high school. "Kelly got a sports scholarship for college, but soon dropped out of college. after she failed multiple classes. She basically partied and did her sport and nothing else. Sarah went on to finish her degree. and is doing well in life. Kelly has a jealousy issue, and I have talked with her before about it.
She is never happy when Sarah has an accomplishment. Today, Sarah told us that she is going on a cruise. for her vacation this year. Kelly always wanted to go on a cruise. and couldn't afford it with her waiter job. In the car, she blew up, saying that Sarah was a loser in high school, so it isn't fair that she has all this now. She went on for a bit when I had enough. I told her that life isn't like high school, and if it was, she was the loser now. This started an argument and she called me a bitch.". (Damien exhales).
- Yeah, it feels like everybody's kinda wrong. - I don't know their dynamic, (Angela laughs). and I know, you know, you should never call your kid something like that. 'cause it really could stick with them, but at the same time, you know, if you see them like. not doing what they even wanted with their life. and, you know, putting down their sibling. for, you know, doing all the quote, unquote, "right things,". it's like you have to snap out of this complex. Like no matter how much you love someone,
sometimes there is this aspect of like, hey, snap out of it. Like I don't know what the right way to do it is, maybe not that. - Yeah, it's almost like. telling someone who's having a lot of anxiety to calm down, and you're like, how much is this helping, you know? - Yeah. - It's also the context. of a parent. - Yeah. - 'Cause I'm like a friend, if like if you had a friend and your friend was like, "Yeah, well, you're the loser now,". it's like that's a different context. A parent calling their child a loser-. - But it was the other child. calling that other child a loser too. - Yeah, she was doing it. - It's not necessarily an eye for eye thing,
and I don't know what it's like to be a parent, and like, again, I've had some conversations. that have stuck with me, you know, from parents, and, you know, I know, my sister does. I feel like a lot of people do. And I still feel like overall, my parents did a pretty damn good job. So one of those things can really stick with you. But if someone is really like in total burnout mode. and they're calling someone else a loser, it's like, oh, is this what the thing is? Is this what's holding you back. is that you still think you deserve these other things. without working for it? Well, then here's the reality, like-.
- She does need a reality check. - Yes. - Right? 'Cause she's sitting there going like, well, she doesn't deserve a good life. 'cause she wasn't cool in high school, like? - Saying she's the loser now. because she's a waiter is wrong. - Yes. - That is not cool. - But it's like- - Yeah. 'Cause it's like I don't think that's fair. to say she's a loser. She's a loser because of how she's treating her sister. - That's what I think that person was trying to say. - But to say you're a loser now. because of your job and your living situation. isn't cool. - Yeah, that part's wrong. - But we don't have that context. She didn't say why she's saying-.
- We don't know why. - She's saying, "I told her that life isn't like high school, and if it was, she was the loser now.". - I mean, that still could be because of her attitude. being like I'm mad when people get good things. - It's just, it's, I don't know. But it's definitely wild logic the sister is using. of like it's like you're 24 and you're still in high school? Like it's been over six years, like move on. - You're in denial. - [Angela And Damien] Yeah.
- But the verdict was not the asshole. - Interesting. - Yeah, I mean, it's also tough. I'm not a parent either. So it's like I'm thinking of this from my perspective. where I'm like, oh, I'm thinking about people I know. who are like this. - Yeah. - But I'm thinking more from a peer situation, where I'm like would I call them a loser? Yeah, but I'm like it feels different from like, when you're saying it to someone your own age. But if like you have a kid- - Yeah, there is-. - And you you call your kid a loser, that's rough. - There's like inherently, from the big jump,
there's a power dynamic with your parents, and there's like a want for approval. I think like, yeah, you calling me a loser. versus like my parents, there is a level of like, oh, I let him down, and as my friend, you're just like identifying me being, acting like a loser, rather than like your parent being like you lose, like that's rough. - Yeah, I'm thinking, sorry, go ahead. - I was just gonna say the only difference I see, 'cause I agree with you 100%, the only difference I see. is specifically because she was saying,
"My sister doesn't deserve these things. because no one liked her in high school.". Meanwhile, the sister like did all the, you know, all these steps to earn the things that she has, and that's never a guarantee. But like the fact that she is putting down her sister. saying she does not deserve these things. is what would maybe, I'm not a parent, but would maybe make me go like, okay, like let's lock in. - Yeah. - Right, right. - Loser's not the right word. - Yeah, I think it's the, how hard she's going on on her daughter.
is not necessarily my problem. Like I think she could say a lot of things in my eyes. that I wouldn't have a problem with, like being like, hey, your attitude is embarrassing. Your jealousy's embarrassing. Like the fact that you think you deserve something in life. because of your high school experience-. - It's very entitled. - Is entitled. and embarrassing. Like I'm like you are acting pathetic right now. Like all those things, but just calling someone a loser for their life is just so, that's so deep, that's so rough, like. - Yeah, it hits. - It's in some of those ways,
and I'm like as we go back to the earlier thing, I'm like what results are you gonna get from that? Is that gonna just make it worse? Like is she gonna hate her life even more? 'Cause what you want is for her to like wake up. and not think this way and not treat her sister horribly. But maybe it did work. I don't know. Several comments go back and forth with like. is it not the asshole. or is it everyone sucks here? - It's like soft asshole. - The big deciding factor. is that Kelly is a 24-year-old adult, but she is still a daughter. That's kinda where I'm getting hung up on.
Like I don't know, like I said, in most situations that I can think of in my personal life, this wouldn't be like a problem as much. But, you know, it's the parent-child dynamic. - Yeah, it's the dynamic, yeah. - One that I don't know. - I would never talk to my cats like that. - No. Oh, well, I do. - How did you get their number? - Well, I found it. - Oh, your cats. - Yeah, it's just so, just always a little bit of a goof back in the day. I'm kind of bringing it back for the school episode.
- Someone said, "Not the asshole. Kelly is obviously behaving like a complete brat, and I can only imagine how frustrated you must be. But I can guarantee that Kelly is going to remember. her mother calling her a loser for the rest of her life. That's the sort of thing you just don't forget. My siblings can call me a loser, and it's water off a duck's back. Let my mom or dad say that and I would be devastated. Some things just hit differently coming from a parent.". - It's so real. - Yeah. - That's just a, yeah. - My mom takes a deep breath at a weird time. and it hits a different way. - Sure. - Like it's like it's just family. - And already, Kelly, what she's saying is awful.
We know that Kelly is so insecure. about herself in life. - Exactly! - Continuing that comment, "There was probably a more constructive way. for you to respond to Kelly. If I were you, I would definitely sit her down and have a conversation. Something expressing how you don't view her as a loser, but you worry about the way she views herself. and the overt jealousy/resentment. she has towards her sister. Remind her that if she's so unhappy with her life, it's on her to fix it, and hating on her sister isn't going to solve anything. It's cheesy, but tell her that resentment is like drinking poison.
and expecting the other person to die. Mainly though, you just wanna convey. that you don't consider her a loser.". Someone else said, "Everyone sucks here. I 100% agree with what you told your daughter, but you missed a huge opportunity. to ask her what her plans are to improve her life today. It was a perfect opportunity. to push her towards college/trade/business ownership. We live in a time. where college is not the only path to success. Even though your daughter is an adult, as a parent, I hope you're pushing her to find a path. that will allow her to fulfill her goals.
Kelly obviously is the asshole for her jealousy, being stuck in high school, and calling you a bitch.". I agree with that. - Yeah. - I would agree. It's also one of those things where like. we get the luxury of reading it in the future, you know? That was not the right thing to call her. That was not the right way to do it. Yes, you should sit her down now, but like, in that moment, like letting it build up, like the kettle just starts to whistle a little bit, and you're just like, "Oh, my sister's a loser. that doesn't deserve.". That's that moment of just like, hey, guess what. I'm angry now. And it's a bummer.
because I'm sure she'd probably would wanna take it back. and do it differently. - I feel like it's a caveat. that we never really cover on this show of like. calling someone an asshole. doesn't mean that I'm like you're a bad person. I'm like, oh, you're the asshole in this situation, but that just kinda means like, oh, like-. - It's kinda like you have the right of way. - It's like, yeah. (Damien and Shane laugh). - A little bit like, oh, you're being an asshole. Like your morals and who you are at your core is asshole. That's not what we're saying when we say am I the asshole. You're just being like. am I the one that did the mistake here?
- Right. - 'Cause like if you give, yeah, like there's am I the devil, and then we're like, okay, we're saying that you're a bad person. But then with like am I the asshole, we are kinda just being like, yeah, maybe don't do that again. - (beep) move. - There's so many situations. where we've deemed someone the asshole where I'm like, but I don't think you're a bad person by any means. I don't even think what you did. is necessarily a bad thing. - Right. - I think like the saying. of am I the asshole in this situation. - Right. - It's like, yes, you are- - That Reddit name was taken. - If someone was wearing the hat in this scene, it's you.
- Yeah, absolutely. - Someone said, "Not the asshole. While it's never a good call to call your child a loser, you were using the word she used for her sister. and in a conditional manner, so I'll give that a pass. I think it's probably closer to the truth. that Sarah was never a loser. She was just playing a different game. She did what she was interested in, had close friends, and probably never wanted to be popular. Research has shown. that siblings intentionally differentiate themselves. from each other. I had five siblings and we were all very different. My closest brother, only 14 months older,
was on the chess club in high school. I could never beat him at home, so I never joined. In this case, since Kelly was older and liked sports, Sarah could never be as good as Kelly in sports, so she chose to focus on classwork. Kelly was a favorite with the coaches. and Sarah with the teachers.". That's really fascinating. - Yeah, no, maybe it's like early competitive vibes, where there's like only two of you and you were like, you were kind of like stepping into your first steps. of like being, like originality, and you're like I remember when my brother, my brother played guitar, I played piano.
And when I picked up the guitar, it was like, no, this doesn't make sense. You can't play that too. And I thought that, he thought that, we all thought that. It was just like, no, we have our separate things. - Yeah, that's true. - I don't know why. - That's interesting. I also feel like another thing I'd like to add. is in this world today that we live in. where everything is bullshit, I think it's like no 24-year-old is a loser, like for what they're doing. Like, you know, it's just so hard. Like I'm in my 30s, and I'm like this is, it's okay if even in your 30s you haven't figured it out.
because it's just so (beep) hard. to find those paths nowadays that, it's why she's a loser is 'cause she's. being so toxic, yeah. - Her attitude, yeah. - But- - I think they're like, it was in a different "Reddit Stories". that I watched with y'all. I think it was like restaurant stories, but it was like, Tommy brought up the point, or maybe it was Chance, it was like they're career waiters. Like it's not a loser thing to be a waiter. Like my sister like dropped outta school for a while, like worked as a waiter, and then like came back to school to finish her degree. Now has her master's degree,
but was like working as a waiter for a lot of that time, and like it's a very viable way to do things. And now, with the job market, we should be so lucky to be able to be a waiter, like if you don't have a job. So like that is not the loser thing. It's her putting her sister down. based off of a high school status, which is already, to borrow your word, bullshit. - And holding onto high school. is embarrassing at a certain age. Like it gets embarrassing. It's like you gotta move on from that. - Or you'll be the next Carrot Boy. - Yeah. - Boom. We're back. - Maybe you wanna do that. - And we're back.
Okay, our next story. Another today I messed up. - These are relatable to me. more than any of the other categories. - Well, 'cause you mess up all the time. - (beep) you. (group laughs). Not the aw. - I got booed out of a dance circle. I get to say whatever want. - You can. (staff laughs). - Am I the asshole for saying my friend messes up. when she really does all the time? No, I'm kidding. (Angela and Shane laugh). - I'm telling the truth. - You walked towards that frisbee. (group laughs). - You walked into it! "Today I messed up by accidentally revealing my Reddit.
to one of my high school students.". - Oh! - That's rough. That's rough. You cannot reveal that you're a Redditor. Embarrassing. "During my second year at my current school, I, a 25-year-old man, was teaching a cover lesson. Normally, during a cover lesson, I'm a lot more relaxed since the work is usually simple. and the kids know it's just trying to fill the hour. I got chatting with a couple of students about Reddit. and talked about a post I'd made, which I thought was fairly ambiguous and buried. and totally safe for work anyway. The students I was talking to were two lads,
both around 14 or 15, and both pretty nice kids, who I have a good relationship with. Little did I know, one of them would go all super sleuth. and track down the post. It must have taken him ages. since the post was at least four months old at this point. and my username contained nothing related. to anything I could be identified by. A couple of days later, I see one of the lads on the corridor and he says, 'What would you do if you were a girl for a day, sir?'. At first, I have no idea what he's talking about. But then his smirk helps the horror melt into my brain. A day or two previous,
I had rather immaturely answered that question on Ask Reddit. with, 'Finger blast myself into oblivion.'. After a mad dash across the school to the staff room, which is the only place in the school that I get signal, my Reddit account was no more.". - Dude. - So he was talking about a post. he'd made on his Reddit account. - Yeah. - They went and found his Reddit account, where you can not only see the posts you've made, but all the replies, all the replies you do to everything else, and he had answered the question, what would you do if you were a woman for a day?
And he said, "Finger blast himself into oblivion.". This is a teacher. (staff laughs). Of teenage students. - That's a huge mistake. - I don't wanna laugh. - I also, I wanna, (Angela laughs). you can laugh, it's laughable. - I'm not laughing back here. - Oh, art did do good job with the set. You're right. We're looking at it. - Finger blast myself. (Angela laughs). - Into oblivion. What in the name of oblivion is that? (Shane laughs).
I would finger blast myself to Mordor wind. (Shane laughs). I'm sorry for all the nerds out there. When he said like, "Yeah, little did I know. this 15-year-old would be super sleuth,". buddy, we live in a different age. - I can't imagine going to school in this day and age. with digital footprints being that big. where you could find your teacher in a second. And you could find anything they've ever done in a second. Like could you imagine if we were teachers? - Oh, God. - They'd be able to find the most cringe shit of me.
- Can't. - Yeah. - What? - I just, I can't. - You can't, you can't! Like it's just like it is wild to live in a world. where everything's online, so you could just find your teacher or your therapist. or like you could find anybody out there. and be like this is what you posted back then. - I almost feel like though we've, it's so much for us, it's so much that we're kind of invulnerable. Like we can't be harmed. because we've embarrassed ourselves in every kind of way. - No, you're right.
- Here's what I think is embarrassing about this. over what we do. - What part of this is embarrassing, Shane? - Is that it was anonymous. - Yeah! And then-. - He had anonymously answered this question. He didn't say this publicly. He said this in private. - Yeah. - And then they found, like in the privacy of his home by himself, he wrote this. - That is exactly the point, yeah. - And that's what's rough. It's different than if they found a video of him. hanging out with his friends and he said that to them. - And he was like, "I don't know when was 9/11?". And it was like (Shane laughs). he was on camera, he knew. - Let's do a realistic one. No one would do that. - Yeah, exactly.
But like this is, I can't, I can't get over the finger blasting thing. - It's a very funny answer. - For your teacher to say. (Angela laughs). - But like what do you do now? Because even though he's like, "Oh, I deleted the account,". it's like, okay, well, the kid knows. Almost guarantee you he screenshotted it. - Oh, yeah. - Like-. - Well, that's why I think we've talked about this before. on episodes where we're like, gosh, are there HRs at schools? Because like it's just such like a walking HR violation.
Like that one woman. who found out that those boys were like watching her. - Yeah. - Oh my God, yeah. - And she was like in the bathtub. Like it's just, it's weird lines. - I don't know how teachers can really have social media. - You call the superintendent. - How do you do that? - Yeah. - Like I- - How do you get on, like how do you honestly get on a dating app? Like even if you like, just anything online, like how do you put yourself out there. in a vulnerable way at all? - I think it's a matter of like. keeping those boundaries, you know?
And it's hard too. because like I'm sure if you see your students every day, it's almost like seeing a coworker every day. in a weird way, but it's not. So I was watching. like the most recent "Reddit Stories" that came out. at the time of filming this, and there was the one with the teacher that was like, yeah, it turns out my husband's been cheating. with this other person and multiple other people. He likes redheads, and now I have to tell all my students. that like the man I love and have been gushing about, you know, why aren't I talking about him anymore? Why aren't his pictures up? And I have to tell them. I'm like, yeah, and that's awful, but like maybe you shouldn't.
have any part of your personal life. with your students in the first place. It's gotta be a hard line to walk. - It's a tough job. - Yeah. - I had a lot of actor teachers like act-. - Well, acting coaches-. - No, but I just mean like I was in LA, like a lot of my math teachers were like also actors, and like I remember like our one teacher. was like our science teacher. Like we saw an episode of like "CSI" with her on there, and we like just laughed at her so hard. Like we were like where's Mrs. Blah blah blah.
in the episode of "CSI?" (Angela laughs). Like we were like, we just thought it was so silly. - When you're a kid, it's weird to see like your authority figures being human. - Yes, it's like that "Mean Girls" quote, where it's like seeing a teacher outside. is like seeing a dog on its hind legs where it's like-. - I don't know. - Wait, you do things? - Yeah. - Like it's weird. - I remember seeing a martial arts teacher, 'cause I took karate for like most of my youth, I remember seeing one of those teachers at Blockbuster, and I was just like my brain was like fried.
I was like I don't, what is going on here? - You're not in your gi. - Yeah, I think she actually was. I think she was coming from martial arts. - Well, then very easy to spot her. - It's like why aren't you renting a kung fu movie? - Yeah. I was like this doesn't make sense. - Our final story comes from Today I Messed Up again. "Today I messed up by telling my kid. to throat punch his bully at school.". (staff laughs). - So did it just like stumble outta your mouth? (Shane laughs). Like did you trip and say it, like?
- I accidentally said it. "Actual (beep) up happened yesterday. at the dinner table after school. After effects of my (beep) up. have me currently at the ER. getting my son checked out for anaphylactic shock. Yesterday my-" - He stuffed a shrimp. down his throat. - Yeah. "Yesterday my kid came home and was obviously upset. So I asked him what was wrong. He's eight, so he still talks to me about this stuff. He proceeds to tell me that at lunch, another kid in his class is bullying him. about his peanut allergy, saying that he's faking his allergy.
and that he's gonna wipe some peanut butter on him. to prove that he is faking. My kid says to him that he isn't faking. and that he could die just from touching peanut butter. Another kid said he didn't care. and that he wanted him to die anyway. At this point, my kid said that he told the teacher. and the lunchroom monitor who both know about this allergy, and they were able to intervene yesterday. I had a long talk with my kid about doing the right thing. and telling the teacher. and not letting this other kid make him lash out. Then we talked about the hard part. Now, I'm sure I'm gonna generate some hate.
with some people here. with what I told him next and that's fine. We are allowed to have differing opinions, but I'm not apologizing to anyone. for teaching my kid to stand up and defend himself. After we talked about doing the right thing. and doing everything you can to avoid a bad situation, I told him that sometimes. you have to do the wrong thing to protect yourself. and that should always be the absolute last resort. When he asked what I meant, I told him that, kid, as long as the bully is only taunting him with words, then he should always walk away. But if he ever did try to put peanut butter on you,
then you hit him as hard as you can. with the side of your hand in the throat, kinda like a throat chop. Then you stop unless the bully keeps trying. Fast forward to this very afternoon, and I get a call from the principal of the school. saying that my son assaulted another student. and needed to be picked up. I asked what happened, and, of course, they won't talk about it over the phone, but I smiled a little bit because I already knew. I get to school and I see my kid sitting in the office, tears streaming down his face.
So I walk in and the principal tries talking to me, but I blow right past her and ask my kid what happened. He says the bully had peanut butter on his fingers. and he was threatening. to wipe it on his face. (Angela gasps). Then my kid said that he did what I told him to do. and hit the kid in the throat. because he wiped peanut butter on his arm. I looked at his arm that was pretty swollen up. and asked him if he was having trouble breathing. Kid said he was fine, just a little shaky. At this point, the principal interrupts. with her, 'Mr. So-and-so, we can't just have kids hitting other children. just because they had a little peanut butter wiped on them.
Kids do this kind of thing. We are gonna have to suspend him for a few days.'. It's obvious to me. that principal is clueless about the peanut allergy. So I cut her off and asked my kid. if he told the bully to stop before he hit the other kid. He said, 'Yes, I yelled at him several times. that I'm allergic to peanut butter. and told him to stop. and he just kept acting like he was gonna wipe it on me.'. Now, the principal has a shocked look on her face. I asked to see the video from the cafeteria, and sure as shit, my kid can be seen and heard screaming. and trying to back away from his bully.
At the point where it looks. like the bully grabs my kid's arm, my kid yells at the top of his little lungs, 'I told you to stop!'. Then he grabs the bully by the arm, pulls him towards himself, and executes the best clothesline I've ever seen anyone do. and floors this kid. Then my kid sits down. and starts crying in the middle of the cafeteria. At this point, I told the principal. that if my kid isn't allowed back at school tomorrow, I was consulting with a lawyer. about the attempted murder of my son. I also said that assuming he didn't have. any other ill effects from this, I would be fine not pressing charges.
against the school and the bully. since it looks like he may have already learned his lesson. Since I didn't get a response. and it's been about a half an hour. since the peanut butter was wiped on my kid's arm, I picked him up. and left to take him to the ER to get checked out. About 10 minutes ago, I got a call from the school board superintendent. saying that the school board has decided. to let my kid come back to school tomorrow. Edit number one, kid has a clean bill of health from the hospital. Swelling is starting to go down after some epinephrine. Edit number two, kid got cookies and cream ice cream. Edit number three, I have been invited to a meeting with the school board.
Thursday afternoon. Will update afterwards.". - Ooh. - Did the principal and them just not review the footage? I guess they're not thinking to do that? - So you haven't been to public school, Shane. - I guess that's true. (staff laughs). I went to elementary school and stuff, but, wow. Like just to like call him in and be like, yeah. And then he asked for the footage, then they watch it, then the principal's like, oh. - They do like a football sidelines playback. - [Shane] Yes, they do the 30 for 30. - Now, you can see the kid. - And then we saw the best clothesline. we've ever seen in our life. (Angela laughs).
- Holy moly, you got a arm on that kid. - A scout for the NFL is there. He's like, 'Your kid's the real deal. He's the next linebacker". - The height difference was like fa, and you're like that's Heisman right there. - I mean- - This is loaded! - I mean, hey, the kid tried to murder him. - Yeah, that is, people talk about peanut allergies, like, yeah, it's serious, be careful. But like if someone's doing that, that is attempted murder, and it doesn't matter if you're eight years old or not, like kids can really hurt other kids.
- Totally. - If the teachers weren't doing anything about it, if he was screaming at the top of his lungs like, you know, violence is a last resort, and I maybe wouldn't have personally been like, yeah, just punch his throat, that one specific spot that's kinda hard to reach. Like that's a specific way to be like. this is the one move you know, but like-. - Oh my God, it's like when Hamilton tells his kid. go challenge him to a duel. - Ooh, shit. - And then he challenges him to a duel and there's, spoiler alert, if you haven't-. - "Hamilton" spoilers. (group laughs).
- If you haven't seen the show or history. - Sorry, you were saying? - No, I'm just saying like. violence is not the answer generally, but like that is defending your life. - Right. A kid did say like, I don't, I am gonna, a kid basically threatened his life. - Yeah, it's like, oh, I forgot about the kid. that said, "I wanna kill you.". - Yeah, like okay. - And he also told the kid, like if you wipe it on me, I'm going to die, and he was like, nah-ah! And it's like it doesn't matter at that point. Like it's like if you, you know, release the arrow from the bow and arrow.
straight at my brain, I'm going to die. Nah-ah. Like it doesn't matter, you've gotta-. - Yeah, "Another kid said he didn't care. and that he wanted him to die anyways,". so at that stage- - Oh my God, if I hear that, you see, I'm in the corner, a frisbee comes flying out the door. Hits that kid right in the face, and I'm like. - 'Cause he brought up all the things before. He was like you gotta talk, you gotta find all the ways not to have this happen. - Scream, find an adult- - 'Cause in life like as a, I'm not a parent, but as a parent,
I feel like you're setting your kid up. for like how life works. It's like, in life, you can't just resort to violence. or else you will end up in prison. or like just sued or just horrible situations. Life is unfair and you have to play your cards right. And he's like here's all these cards, and once your hand is out. and then they're coming at you with peanut butter, the last move is the throat chop. - Do you think you'd tell your kid, just for sakes of conversation, just for the sake of conversation, do you think you'd tell your kid to run away? Or run to a teacher?
- That's what he said first though. - He said that. He said if you can get away if like, but-. - He said use your words, run away. - And if you can't get a teacher there-. - If you absolutely can't, if you're in this situation, you gotta do this, and it's like-. - And I'm not being like he shoulda done that. I just am like, how much, like is it, this is why I can't even imagine parenting. is like do you like instill fight or flight? Like what is better? Is running away or is fight? Like it's so layered and like-. - I think also realistically in life, there's situations where both are, right?
Like that's what's complicated. And like it's just like with kids, like you deal with situations. that you just hope you don't deal with as much as an adult, but like kids are vicious, like-. - And it is good to like show your kid. that you could stand up for yourself. I think it's just like a scary territory to get into. - It is 'cause there isn't necessarily a right answer, and I think when it comes to consequences, fight usually has a lot more. Like no one's gonna be like, well, he proved he was the stronger kid. You did it. Like there's always gonna be something that comes with it.
But when it comes to protecting your life. or the lives of someone you know, like and it's just, yeah. - It's tough. It's a tough reality. Comments, "10 outta 10 response. Your kid's life was legit in danger. That's the only way to defend himself. after screaming and demanding to be left alone.". - Yeah, he coulda died. - "No hate here. Personally, I would be proud of my son. and probably reward him for defeating himself. Personally..." (group laughs). God, this kid is bullying me at school, and he's just looking in the mirror.
- Time to defeat my last enemy, myself. - "Personally, I would be proud of my son. and probably reward him for defending himself.". Someone said, "Teacher here. I'm missing the part where you (beep) up.". OP left a comment saying, "Honestly, I'm proud of him. I just don't know how to tell him. without glorifying the fact. that it had to come down to violence. Not that I disagree with what he did, I just don't want that to be the point of this whole thing.". - Yeah. - I agree with that. - That was well said. - It's like you don't wanna. like teach like that's how you solve things. because all the worst people we know like, that's their core belief, right?
It's like, oh, if I come into a roadblock, I hit people. It's like- - Or for like. your early processing brain to feel. like it stopped when I did this, so I will do this when I ever feel that way, where it's like you have to remember, that kid's gotta learn, or everyone's gotta learn, that like that was the last like-. - Right. - I think that's the way to do it. Like you're not glorifying that you did it. It's just like, hey, I wanna reaffirm. that you did the right thing at that point. because you tried everything else first. And I'm like, you know, my parents put me in karate as a kid.
so that I could learn how to defend myself, and that was kind of the point where it's like, hey, if you ever had to, you at least know in your mind that you maybe can. and have a better shot at that. than just being like, well, I don't know what to do. - Yeah. For sure, for sure. This is like one of those it should be rare. that it like it should come down to like you're in a corner, and they are grabbing you and they have peanut butter. - I like that the teacher piped up in there and was like. I don't see a problem. - Someone replied to OP saying,
"You could phrase it something like, I saw the video footage of what happened. You were really brave, stood up to the bully, and tried to resolve things peacefully. You only resorted to hitting him. when it was absolutely necessary, and I'm proud of you for showing such restraint. while you were scared. Put the emphasis on the behavioral pattern of restraint. rather than the actual fighting part.". I agree with that. - Yeah. - And I'd say praise him for being like you hit him. and then you stopped. - Yeah. - And that's what you're supposed to do. Like you stop as soon as the danger is gone, right? - I'd say maybe don't sit down and cry after. You gotta hit a pose of some kind. - Yeah. - Just like.
- You gotta hit a taunt. - You gotta be like, ha, you surely don't think you can defeat me. Round two (Shane laughing). goes to Benjamin. - That's so funny. (group laughs). Round two. - The b-boy stance. (group laughing). - And then you gotta be like Carrot Boy! (Damien and Angela laugh). - That's hip-hop! - And then you take the peanut butter and you go ah. (Shane laughs). - I'm not allergic! - I'll see you in hell, mother(beep). Which one of us breathes again first? (Shane laughs).
- The kid's on the ground just like whoa. - Yeah, mother(beep)! - Okay. Update. Update. "Two days later, just left the meeting, which wasn't with the school board. as I was led to believe on the phone. It was with the principal. and a legal representative from the school board. I had a lawyer with me prior to this meeting, and we discussed what I wanted out of this meeting. My main concerns were. making sure that there was a procedure in place. to keep allergens away from my child, ensuring that this child has no ability. to assault my child again.
I also wanted to know how it was. that the principal wasn't informed. or aware of my child's allergy. prior to trying to tell me that he was gonna be suspended. Lawyers talked legal stuff for a little bit. while I listened and the principal listened. Eventually, my turn to talk came, and I simply explained points one and two above. I also asked why the principal. didn't take time to assess the whole situation. The explanation I got was that she was told by the monitor. that it was almond butter, not peanut butter by the monitor, so she really didn't look further into it. Which I can understand her point,
but it doesn't make things any better from my perspective. So cut and dry stuff first. The bully child has been moved to a different school. Unfortunately, I don't have any legal recourse. to find out which school he has been moved to. and frankly don't care. Cafeteria monitor has been fired. I didn't hear this at the meeting, but my son's teacher called last night after school. and told me. I asked why. and I was told that she was distracted by her phone. when all of the commotion started, which explains why this was allowed. to progress in the first place. Based on the recommendation of a friend, thanks AX,
and many of you via private message, I requested and was accommodated with. an allergy-free table at our school, and I'm being told every other school in the district. will be implementing one as well. where children with known allergies will eat lunch at, and anyone who eats with them. will have their lunches inspected by a teacher and a monitor. to ensure no allergens are present. Now, the weird stuff. The kid probably did wipe almond butter on my son. The kid's parents found out. through a mutual friend where we lived. and showed up at my house last night.
The bully kid was very apologetic to me. and asked if he could apologize to my son, which I said, yes, of course to. I invited parents and son into the living room. and this child started crying. and said he didn't mean to hurt my son. My son started crying as well. and said he didn't wanna hit him. and he apologized as well." - Oh! - "Then the parents asked bully child. to explain what happened. So apparently, this kid likes peanut butter. and almond butter. and has almond butter on a sandwich. and a little pack of peanut butter. in his lunch for crackers. Bully child thought it would be funny. to continue the tormenting from the previous day.
and said something about putting peanut butter on my son. and put a little bit on his fingers. to make him think it was peanut butter. Then he wiped them off afterwards. and got some of the almond butter from his sandwich. and that's what was on his hands. when he grabbed my son's arms. I can only guess that there was a little peanut residue. left on the bully's hands when he grabbed my son, which explains the subdued swelling reaction. I asked the kid if he knew. what a peanut allergy actually does to a person, which to the other parents' credit, they had actually made him read WebMD about it, and he explained the whole inability to breathe.
and some other things his mind grasped onto. So I took the opportunity. to show this young man the EpiPen needle. We have one that we've had to use previously. just for show and tell purposes. that you have to stick a person with it. in an anaphylactic shock scenario. Then I gave him the trainer unit. and showed him where it goes and how to press the button. Yes, I told him it was the trainer unit, but I really thought hard about not telling him. I ultimately decided against that. because that wouldn't make me any better. than the bully kid in front of me. When the button activated, I think he jumped about 15 feet in the air.
and he was obviously scared. Parents apologized again as did the bully kid. I told all of them. I was satisfied that a lesson was learned here, and I wouldn't be pursuing any additional charges. against the kid or his parents. Yeah, I know you can roast me for it with downvotes. As the parents and bully kid are leaving, my son runs right past us and gives the bully a hug. and tells him that he hopes he isn't in too much trouble.". - I love this kid. - This is so sweet. - "I was asked to to sign a non-disclosure agreement, which I, of course, declined. I want my options open to me. in case something like this happens again.
Until then, I'm letting this die.". Well, I think that's a great, I think once you have that pressing charges like-. - Yeah. - I don't know. I guess I don't, this is a personal opinion, but in our country, like the desire to sue I think only has made things worse. - Yeah. Yeah. - Often. Sometimes it's justified, but most of the time it's like what are you doing? - I've only seen situations that make sense. There was one recently where like an aunt like broke her arm. because of like a 10-year-old nephew.
and is suing the 10-year-old nephew, and everyone's like that's awful! But the point was the insurance, or the payments were so much that like. because they had insurance, she had to sue, so that insurance would pay her and not the family like but-. - If you're in desperate need of money. because of a situation that was caused, I guess. But like in this situation, I don't think. But, I mean, this is best case scenario. I gotta say, I'm shocked. - Yeah. - Because typically you'd expect a bully. to not have parents who are down for teaching a lesson.
Usually it's like, oh, and we're gonna find out why you're a bully. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - But, no, I would feel like my head goes to, oh, shit, the parents. - Yeah, you never know, yeah. - [Shane] Like that's whats really so scary. - So they found my house and showed up. I'm like that's not what I thought. 'Cause he also said now the weird stuff. Every part of this he's been like. I know you guys are gonna be mad at me, but I taught my son self-defense, and everyone's like, yeah! And then he's like, you know, hate me if you want, downvote me, but I'm not gonna sue the nice family. I'm like what do you think like-.
- I know, it's like now the weird stuff. They came over and the bully learned a lesson. - They hugged and I thought it was kinda weird. - And everything worked out. It's like that's weird to you? - We don't hug in my family. - Probably just them showing up, but. - Here's what I'm gonna end this episode with. That ended very sweet. Summer games, not gonna end that way. - That's the truth. - It's gonna end with drama. (bright music). - The superintendent from that last story. didn't even show up to that meeting. I'm gonna be showing up (Angela laughs). and making sure y'all meet with some drama.
- Hell, yeah. All right, thanks for watching. Check out Summer Games on the Pit and Games channels. It's going for another week. You gotta keep watching. All right, we'll see you next Saturday. Bye! - [Angela And Damien] Bye! - Happy birthday if it's your birthday.
