Remember, Sticks And Stones... | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hello, welcome to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories". I'm Shayne. And today we've got some classic Am I The Asshole stories. A lot of bullies this episode, so prepare yourselves. I'm joined by two people who are not bullies. - You don't know that. - I'm joined by one bully. (everyone laughs). - Yeah, I'm gonna just say nice hair, and you don't know which way I mean that, so now you don't know whether I'm... I'm Schrodinger's bully. - The compliment bully. - [Damien] Yeah. - Pretty good. - I like how you.

just wear whatever. - Cool slacks, dude. - Yeah. Oh, I had some like that last year. (everyone laughs). - And before we move on, a reminder that tomorrow is the last day to buy tickets. for our live show to get the VOD. Go to live.smosh.com. and you can watch "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories Live". It was a great time. - What was your favorite part of the show? (everyone laughs). - It's probably that, oh, that one part when everything, and it all happened and it was really good. - Oh, it was so good. - Yeah. It's definitely happened.

- [Tommy] Sure did. - As of reading this, we've definitely done it. So it was definitely cool. - For sure. - Anyways... (everyone laughs). Tommy, Damien, thank you for being here. - Thank you. What? (everyone laughs). - I realized I never said your name. so people listening didn't know who you were. - Oh. - I feel like they could sense it though. - Our aura. - Yeah. Just unstoppable. rizz, I guess. - [Tommy] Cool guy. Yeah. - Okay. (everyone laughs).

- Did we just bully ourselves? - Yeah. So no one else could bully me. I'll talk about it in therapy. - Our first story is an Am I The Asshole. - Yes. - "Am I the asshole for refusing. "to stop using my embarrassing lunchbox at work? "I, a 28-year-old man, bring my lunch to work every day. "in a bright blue Pokemon lunchbox. "I've had it for years and I don't think much about it. "It's just the perfect size, keeps my food cold, "and honestly, I think it's kind of fun. "Recently, a new coworker, Matt, who's 35, "started making comments about it.

"At first, it was just joking around, "stuff like, 'Nice lunchbox, dude. "'My kid has the same one.'. "Whatever. I laughed it off. "But then he kept bringing it up, "saying it was unprofessional. "and that I should grow up and get a real lunch bag. "I told him I didn't see the issue. "and that it's literally just a lunchbox. "But last week he took it further, "telling me in front of our coworkers that it was weird. "for a grown man to be carrying around kid stuff. "I told him he should worry less about my lunchbox. "and more about his own life. "Now he's been acting cold toward me,

"and a couple of coworkers said I was being too harsh, "that he was just messing around. "But I don't see why I should change something harmless. "just because one guy thinks it's weird. "Am I the asshole?". - No. - No. Unless there's way more information. - Yeah, I mean, unless it's the naked Pokemon lunchbox, I think we're-. - What? (everyone laughs). - Where can I buy it? - Yeah, I was about to say, where do you even get that? Where? - It's so funny to hear about different types of workplaces.

'cause we work here, right, which is just such a different environment. from any job. - Oh yeah. If someone brought in that lunchbox, we'd be like, "Oh shit! "That's a sick-ass box, dude!". - Yeah, I'm pretty sure people. probably do have those types of luchboxes here. - Absolutely. - Someone could bring in like a full scale, like replica of a Pokemon for their desk. and we'd just be like, "Oh, dude, sick Skarmory. "Gotta move it for meetings, but like that's awesome.". - Yeah. Oh, it's made of metal too. - Wow. It hurts. It actually hurts. - I just can't imagine being bothered by this. - Right. This person, Matt, the coworker, deeply insecure man, obviously.

- Yeah. - Very fragile, fragile masculinity. Yeah, what a little asshole that guy. - Yeah, he needs to reconnect with his childhood. He needs a whole like ghost of Christmas now. and before and later to like teach him, like remember when you were a boy and you liked the NES? Look, they've still got it. And yeah. - Verdict, not the asshole. - Great. - Comments. "Super weird that he feels the need. "to control a coworker's lunchbox choices. "Sounds like he needs a different hobby. "Not the asshole.".

12,000 up votes. - Incredible. - Someone else said, "I love all the little joys. "My grownup purse has beanie baby key chains on it, "my bathroom has a sparkly unicorn shower curtain, "and my planner is covered in stickers. "I'm not sure I've owned a plain pair of socks in 10 years. "Life is short, "and there's enough unpleasant stuff in the world. "I'm going to do whatever little things make me happy.". - Absolutely. - 100%. - That's the way to live. - Someone said, "I have a sparkly unicorn water bottle. "No one steals it. "It always finds its way back to me. "Matt is trying to put you down and be mean. "Ignore him.".

I think a lot of people nowadays, I think millennials especially. are like one of the first generations where we're just like, oh, I don't have to stop doing this. Like, I don't have to stop being interested in this. just 'cause I'm 30. - Right. - I had a conversation about this recently with someone. who's probably of like boomer age, and they're very sweet and like very curious about things. Not judgmental, but like curious. And so I basically talked about how our generation. has more fun and is less worried about like "growing up". because all of the benefits of "growing up".

have been kind of taken from us. - Right. - Can't really have a stable job. The inflation is not kept up with wage or vice versa. Yeah, you're not gonna get a house. Like, it's all these different things. So like why should we put away all these childish things. that give us joy? 'Cause other things are not. - Absolutely. - And she was like, "I guess that makes a lot of sense.". And I was like, thanks. - Okay, a boomer who listened. - Yeah, she's great, she's great. She's awesome. She always listens and is just like, "So why is this like that?". I'm like, "Well, you see...". And she's really cool. - [Tommy] That's wonderful. - [Damien] Yeah.

- Also Pokemon (beep) rocks. - It does! - Pokemon rocks! - Favorite Pokemon? I know yours. - Hmm. It switches around a lot. - Well, who's it today? - Oof. You know, a later one, 'cause I'm partial to all the original 151. - [Damien] Same. - Right, but what is it, Hawlucha? - [Damien] Yeah. - The like luchadore bird. - The wrestling guy? Yeah. - The wrestling bird is just awesome. - Yeah, he's pretty cool. - So sick. - Yeah. Yours is Chansey? - You know it. Chansey, Blissey. Not Happiny as much. But Chansey, Blissey. - Yeah, Happiny's kind of whatever. - And then the Litwick line I love.

- Oh, fun. Hell yeah. - And I know you're a Porygon. - Porygon and Ditto. - I do love the aesthetic of Magikarp. - Okay, okay. - I think it's great. - There's a cool vibe. - I agree with you. - Like, the gold. and the whisker. - Yeah, but as a Pokemon, garbage. Gyarados was one of my favorites as a kid though. - Well, he's freaking rock and roll. - Very confusing. - Absolute badass. - It's like flying and water, and you're like, I beg your unbelievable goddamn pardon. What did you say about that dragon? No, just water. - Lastly here someone said, "Not the asshole. "Matt has a little (beep).".

So this person knows more about him. (crew laughs). - You know what? - [Tommy] That's cool. - We don't have to body shame tiny (beep) bullies. (everyone laughs). - [Tommy] It's true. - Oh man. Okay. Our next story. "Am I the asshole for not listening to my wife. "and eating the wrong cookie?". What? - Okay. First part of that makes me have an opinion already, but let's hear it. - All right. "I worked a 10 hour shift yesterday and had little to eat. "but bubble gum and some cheap hot chocolate.".

- That's not food. - That's not food. You didn't eat. - I'm glad we all got there. - I ate some bubble gum. Don't worry. I swallowed it. - Well, when you chew it, you get some dextrose for the flavoring and that's-. - Right, right. - "I came home to a voice message, "whereas my wife had picked up a cookie for me. "from the local bakery. "and another specific cookie for our young daughter, "which she could have when she came home from school. "Overjoyed, partially because I was hungry. "and partially because my wife and I had been. "at odds for a bit. "and I thought perhaps this was an olive branch of sorts, "I looked into the cookie box.

"One of the two cookies inside was definitely the one. "for my daughter due to its description. "So I ate the other one. "It wasn't quite what she had said it would be, "but I didn't wanna be picky. "A few hours later my wife pours herself a glass of milk. "after dinner and goes into the cookie box. "She mutters something under her breath, "pours her milk back into the jug, "and flops down on the couch. "I asked what was the matter, "and she informed me that I never listen. "and I ate her cookie. "I told her that I had only eaten the other cookie. "in the box that wasn't our daughter's,

"and my wife let me know that my cookie was separate. "in a bag under the cookie box. "and that I should have listened better. "and that she wasn't surprised. "I asked her what kind of cookie I had eaten. "and told her I'd go buy her another one. "She refused to tell me and merely repeated. "that I should have known that that wasn't my cookie. "based on her description. "The cookie I ate was white. "and had some kind of brown icing on it. "Apparently she had bought me. "some sort of toffee chocolate chip cookie. "Am I the asshole for not paying attention. "and eating the wrong cookie. "or is she blowing this out of proportion?

"Edit. "Since it's come up a few times, "I thought I'd add a bit of information. "Yes, I do have a hard time paying attention. "I have ADHD and I'm working on it. "Yes, not eating all day is my fault. "It was two days before payday. "We had nothing in the house viable for me to take, "and I had a dollar worth of change in my cup holder. "plus a pack of gum. "I did what I could. "No, she didn't mention that my cookie was separate. "She told me my cookie was in our bread bag, "which is a bag where we keep bread. "and other things we want to keep bugs and mice out of. "She described the cookie as a toffee chocolate chip cookie.

"I looked in the bag, found the box from the bakery, "and it had two cookies in it. "One of them was decorated like the night sky. "and is what she said she had purchased for our daughter. "There was only one other visible cookie. "No, I can't prove this unless someone can instruct me. "on how to download voice messages from Messenger. "and post them here.". - I'm in. (everyone laughs). - Okay, the verdict is asshole. - [Tommy] Okay. - And my take is a little bit on, I don't care about the context. - It's not about the cookie.

- No, the cookie is the final straw here. - Right. This is an old thing. - There's another subreddit. called Oh My God Just Break Up Already. And it's truly like, what is going on? - What are you doing here? - Now, they have a daughter. Like, I'm not telling 'em to break up. But it's just like, do you hear yourself? - It's not about the cookie. - Like, reread your message. You hate your wife. What's going on? - They're both like clearly done with each other. and there needs to be like a more radical shift. than just like, "We're working on it,". or like, "I bought you a cookie.".

It's like, have a conversation. - Right. - Also, like I fall into the trap, or I'd like to think less so now, but I always used to fall into the trap of like, I know I've got this mental health condition. I'm working on it. I'm always curious like, what does working on it mean? You might be aware of it, but what does it, you know. And for your wife, if you haven't made any progress. and if this has popped up before. and you've had conversations, that might be the like... - [Tommy] Right. - So I don't have enough information to say asshole. versus not asshole, but like you, it's just...

- This is one of those things where for most couples. and you hear this, it's a silly story. - [Damien] Yeah. - But for them it's like, oh, and this is bad. The day is now worse. But I don't love that it was like, "Oh, we've been at odds. "and I was hoping this is an olive branch.". It's like, what kind of-. - Where's your olive branch? - What kind of communication are you guys having? You're not two different nations. that are like going through a negotiation right now. Like, Jesus. Like, just talk. - Yeah, hold hands and give a little smooch. - Yeah, back and forth forever.

- Uh-huh. (laughs). - It's also clear that like they both. seem to be at their wit's end. Like, he's like, "I had a dollar in my change. "at the car all day.". And it was like, damn. And then she's just like, "All I needed was this cookie.". And they need to be in a place. where they can support each other in a relationship. Not be like, uh-oh, an obstacle when I'm home. - It's also not great that he's like, "No, she didn't make it clear. "I didn't know. "I looked in the cookie jar.". But then he does admit. that she said that they were in the bag. - [Damien] That's true. - So by his own recollection that he's writing,

he did seem aware. - He did. Yeah. - But I think you brought it up, the question of like, where's your olive branch? - Tommy said that. - Yeah, what's he doing? - Yeah, what's his way to make it better for her? - Comments. "You're the asshole. "You didn't listen. "She did something nice and thoughtful for you. "and you didn't care enough to actually listen. "to what she said. "You ruined a special thing. "and took the cookie she was looking forward to eating. "Given her reaction, "I'm guessing this is not the first time this has come up. "and listening/communicating has been an issue previously. "I know I'm just guessing based on context,

"but it seems the direction this went. "You need to do some self-reflection. "and determine if this is a pattern. "of not listening to your wife. "and ending up with a bad outcome, especially on her end. "I hope you actually apologized, "it doesn't mention in your post, "and told her you were wrong and took responsibility. "Making the excuse of not eating earlier in the day. "is just that, an excuse. "Your wife wants you to listen to her, not make excuses.". Someone else said, "Like, I think that it's super weird. "to have put his cookie separately in any other context, "but it honestly sounds like she put his in a separate bag.

"specifically so he wouldn't eat her. "or their daughter's cookie and he did it anyway. "because this seems like a recurring problem. "where he doesn't listen and ruins other people's day. "I have ADHD too, and it's really hard sometimes, "but it's not her problem he didn't eat all day. "and it's not her problem that he didn't listen. "Replay the message if you think you missed something, "especially after the first bite. "of an unexpected cookie flavor. "Find out what the bakery is. "and go and get her and your daughter cookies. "Buy her more than one, apologize properly, "say you'll do better, and then do better.

"It's not hard to pay attention to people you love. "when you care about what they have to say. "You're the asshole.". Yeah. - Yeah. - I think that's fair. I do think it skews more to him being the asshole. I would also say like if he does start to work. on his ADHD stuff and really tries to communicate, then there would be work from her. where she could help like accommodate. Like for me, if the only cookie I could have was separate, hidden in a bag, it's like, no, if this guy accidentally eats cookies,

you put yours in the bag and be like, yours is right there. - You hide yours. Not his. - And I don't mean to like blame her. I'm just like, I get very specific with instructions sometimes. She's also like, "There's a cookie in there. "This one is our daughter's, do not eat it. "Enjoy your cookie.". And I'm like, just say the two on the top are not for you. - But that just comes down to both of them. communicating better still. - Right. And I do agree with the comment of like, she did describe the cookie. as a toffee chocolate chip cookie, and then he ate a cookie that wasn't that.

and just finished it. - Yeah. - I'm just like, there's a lot of contradictory stuff going on here. Definitely for me the asshole verdict on my end. is a lot of like inferred. - Right. - I'm assuming a lot going on here. based on how you wrote this. - Yeah. - [Shayne] I'm assuming a lot of things. - Exactly. - I also find it suspicious. that he barely mentions the daughter. Is she not the asshole? - I know. I think it's the daughter. - I think it's the daughter. (everyone laughs). She didn't do anything to fix this.

- What could have helped this. She could have done it. She should know that. - I think it's actually so fascinating. how these little tiny things, if they are a big problem, it's such a huge like sign, right? 'Cause if accidentally eating a cookie. isn't a thing you laugh at, then it's like, oh, there's a bunch going on right now. that we have to acknowledge. If tiny things are causing huge problems, you've got huge, huge problems everywhere.

- Making a mountain out of a muffin. - Yeah. - It's a cookie, Damien. - [Shayne] It's a cookie. - Mountain out of a macaron. - There you go. - All right, our next story. - Cut that. (Tommy laughs). - No. - No, we're keeping that. - [Tommy] It's kept. - [Shayne] It's the title. - It's my favorite thing. as a Smosh viewer is like, it's often like Angela. Angela's like, "Cut that. "I don't want that.". And I'm like, I'm seeing it. (everyone laughs). - We're literally seeing it. - They didn't. - No. Okay, our next story comes from Am I The Asshole. and Best of Redditor Updates. - Update. - Thank God.

(everyone laughs). - "Am I the asshole for my response. "to my boyfriend's ultimatum over audiobooks?". - Ooh, an ultimatum in a relationship, that's healthy and cool. - Yeah, nice boyfriend, idiot. (everyone laughs). - What's an ultimatum you could have over audiobooks? - Can I throw out a guess? - Well, yeah. - I think it's gonna be like, okay, it's passionate interstellar lovers. Like, it's gonna be like a little bit like spicier books. - I'm gonna guess no headphones.

I'm gonna guess he's walking around and it's like, "And then he went into the...". And she's like, "Please, I'm trying to do something.". - Oh, you think he's listening to audiobooks? - Well, I don't know. Either way. I just feel like the person is not wearing headphones. - Okay. - [Tommy] Okay. - "My boyfriend and I have been together. "for around three years. "and we've had a pretty easygoing relationship. "No big fights or anything, until now, "which is why I'm questioning myself so much. "So I listen to audiobooks. "Not erotic ones. "Though I do partake in audio only porn sometimes.

"because...". (everyone laughs). - And we're back! And we're back! - Why even justify it then? Be like, "I don't do that. "I do almost exactly that though.". - I do do that. - Very similar. There's just no narrative. - Okay. "So I listen to audiobooks. "Not erotic ones. "Though I do partake in audio only porn sometimes. "because as becomes important later, "I have a thing for nice voices. "But somehow someone just reading smut off a page. "feels weird for me to listen to. "No judgment to anyone else of course.

"Just not my thing. "My boyfriend has recently gotten a bug up his ass. "about me listening to them, especially when he's home, "even though I always use headphones. "and do my best not to disturb him. "Also, before anyone says it, "my Audible account comes directly. "outta my own bank account. "He has no reason to think it will affect his finances. "Anyway, he only ever gave little snide remarks. "until the latest time, so I let it go. "Most recently, I had been making us dinner. "and cleaning up behind myself as I did it. 'And because he was playing video games. "and I get bored doing those kinds of things.

"without something else to think about, "I turned on my favorite audiobook. "and picked up where I had been listening the week before. "I didn't realize he was in the kitchen. "until he jerked the cord on my headphones. "and asked if I was doing it again. "I asked what he was talking about, "and he just sighed and said that he needed to talk to me. "We sat down, "and I'll admit I was pretty pissed he had jerked. "on my headphones. "and not super willing to listen to anything right then. "Another reason I might be an asshole. "He said that it really bothered him.

"when I listened to audiobooks from a man's perspective. "because he knows about my voice thing. "and that it makes him uncomfortable. "I asked why, "and he said that he couldn't get it out of his head. "That I was thinking sexual things about the characters. "And that along with the romantic elements, "made him really upset. "and felt almost like I wasn't fully committed to him. "I asked if he realized I was listening to a book. "for teens written by a literal Mormon. "and that none of the books I listen to have smut. "He said that it didn't matter. "and started getting angry again,

"which just made me angrier, "and he dropped the ultimatum that he wanted me to stop. "or else we would need to break up. "I was so pissed at this point. "that I just shrugged and said, 'Gladly. "'The minute you stop watching porn, "'I'll never touch any of it again.'. "Which had him pissed. "because he claimed he never said anything about porn. "Only the romantic and sexual parts. "of the books I listen to. "I said that if he was allowed to make ultimatums. "of favorite pastimes, why can't I? "Then I asked if he would rather give up video games.

"since that's closer to what audiobooks mean to me. "He ended up just saying to (beep) forget about it. "and went to bed, but has been pissed at me since. "I talked to my friends about the situation. "and got mixed answers, "so I wanted to try with strangers as well.". What? - Okay. Wow. - What a hill to die on. - Yeah. Truly. - I just think... I don't know what you do about that type of insecurity.

- Right. - I mean, they're audiobooks. He's like... What? - It's a trust issue either way. - Right. Yeah. - You know, there are video games out there. that are pornographic, so it's like if he's gonna play video games. in the other room, like, oh, I can't stop thinking about the potential. of you doing that. - Yeah. - It's like you have to sort of have that separation. with hobbies, and something tells me that, you know, this is the type of person. that would have the same kind of insecurity. if like she had like a dodge ball local league.

that she would go to. and be like, "Are you going there to meet guys?". Like, you have to have that level of trust. or you're not ready for. a relationship. - Relationship. - Right. And to just try to put that type of control on someone. It's like, what do you think's gonna happen? What are you doing? - Yeah. What got me was the yank of the headphones. - Yeah. - That's like a, just a little looksie, a little peek through to see how maybe violent this person. might, could be. And that's not a good sign. - [Shayne] No. - Should never yank on someone's thing.

- [Shayne] Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I agree. - Unless they want it. - Tommy-. - [Shayne] Unless it's a consensual thing. - We got new merch. We got new merch. - New merch. - Here we go. - A shirt that says consensual yanking. (everyone laughs). The Yankees have new merch ideas. - Whoa! The Yankee and the yankeed. - Yeah, the headphone pulling is absolutely a red flag. Comments. Or sorry, verdict is not the asshole, which I agree with.

Comments. "Not the asshole. "You should reevaluate your relationship with him. "He is acting insecure, jealous, and controlling. "Don't stop doing what you are doing.". Someone else said, "He is completely out of line. "Being jealous of audiobooks is next level insecurity. "Not the asshole.". - Can I add a little something to that? - Yeah. - When she said this is a book for teens. written by a literal Mormon, I think that might be "Twilight". - Probably. - And so she's listening to "Twilight". and he's like, "You and your vampire wolf boyfriend! "I hate it!". - We're back in 2007. This guy.

- I mean, hey. - Someone said, "This is a big red flag to me. "Is he so insecure that he can't stand the idea. "of you listening to, gasp, another man? "You weren't even listening to anything provocative. "when he did this and he had that kind of reaction. "Where is all his anger coming from? "The fact that he dropped an ultimatum, "books for (beep) sake, or breaking up is insane to me. "This seems like such an odd thing for him. "to want to have control over. "You are wearing headphones, "not listening to it on speakerphone, "and you're minding your own business, "and he has the audacity to be upset you're doing that.

"Personally, I would cut ties, "but if you feel like he's a good partner to you. "in other aspects. "and he isn't controlling about other things you do, "what you wear, who you hang out with, "then maybe try talking it out when he's calm.". I just always have a hard time believing. that this isn't reflected in other things. - Same. - Like, oh, this is one thing he's super controlling. - And if it's this extreme, that's what it is. It's like if it's this extreme over that one thing, then it's gotta be leaking. into other parts of the relationship. - OP said, "He did try to explain. "that he felt as if I was reacting to the romantic parts.

"in ways I don't react to him, which almost made sense. "But then all I can think is, yeah, of course I do. "This kind of romantic thing doesn't exist in real life. "and I don't expect it to, "but to hear about it is enough to make me blush or laugh. "because it's cute. "I've never expected him to be an over the top romantic. "I don't think I would enjoy it in real life. "It would more than likely overwhelm me. "But I do like to hear about it, I guess. "This part does make me feel a little bad. "because at the time I was so angry. "about the headphone pulling, "I don't know why it set me off so bad.

"No one has ever done it to me before. "But for some reason it had me pissed. "I couldn't even react to it like I should have. "I honestly maybe should have asked to wait. "the more I think about it.". Well, you're upset 'cause it's (beep) insane. - Right. - You both came into it with like a hot head, but like she was put there by the physical pull. - The hothead. - Yeah, so I don't know. When reading stories like this, I'm always sort of trying to pick apart. what the author of the post is saying. to be like, what could this be sort of misconstrued as? And like throughout the beginning I was like,

oh, what if the boyfriend feels like insecure? Like, I can never make you feel this way. I can't do that. But even if that is the case, like there are so many better ways to communicate that. before snide remarks, pulling on a headphone, giving an ultimatum. You know, if you're feeling insecure in a relationship, you have to communicate and be like-. - Absolutely. - It hurts my feelings. 'cause I feel like I can't give you what you want. What do you feel about that? And then she could be like, "Oh no, I don't want you to be a crazy vampire guy. "kidnapping me in your castle.".

I don't know, but like whatever. Just point is talk. - Yeah. - [Tommy] Talk. - I think also this goes into the realm of, I think a lot of people don't really understand fantasy, fantasizing, right? 'Cause the way it works is that your brain. when you're reading a book, you can go to much wilder places. because your brain knows you're safe. - Narnia. - Right. Oh, thank you. - Your brain knows I'm sitting here reading a book, so wilder things can be exciting, that in real life would never be exciting.

- Absolutely. - I think we seem to understand this with other genres, right? Like, I enjoy watching "Fast and The Furious". That doesn't mean I want to drive a car. at 200 miles per hour. Like, I would hate that in real life. - Then stay off the autobahn. - And thinking about it is different. 'cause it's just thinking about it. - [Tommy] Right. - And I think people get really uncomfortable. when it has to do anything with romance or sexuality. But I mean, I see so much of it on BookTok discourse. of like romantasy, like all these wild things, and boyfriends being uncomfortable with it. But it's like they don't actually want that in real life.

This is a fantasy to be read safely in your home. - [Tommy] Right. - Not lived out. - And there's also a world in which, I know she said it might overwhelm her. to do something so extreme, but like there's a, you can take fantasy. and like take a droplet of it. and bring it to reality and explore that, so it's like, you know-. - He could be reacting with curiosity. But he's reacting with pushing it away and everything. - Like, how could I do that with you, you know? But in whatever way.

- It's an opportunity to learn more about what excites her. - [Tommy] Right. - But he's completely-. - [Tommy] But instead he yanked. - He yanked. - Can't yank. - Someone send that girl some AirPods. - Update! - Oh. - I forgot about that. - This update came two months later. Do we have any predictions? - They broke up. - He's an author. - [Shayne] You think they broke up? (everyone laughs). He's insecure 'cause he's like, "It's not as good as my book.". - "The Good Intercourse Dragon" by Kyle. (everyone laughs). Here you go. - Just Kyle?

- Just Kyle. - If I saw a book in the bookstore. and there was one name. - Kyle, 23, M. (everyone laughs). - Like, damn, okay. - [Tommy] I'd buy that. - All right. Okay, you think they broke up? - Yep. - [Shayne] And you think he's an author? - Yeah. (everyone laughs). - Okay. - Very reasonable. - All right, those are good odds. - Yeah. - Here we go. "So it's been a while. "I didn't think I would update because the original update. "would have been mostly us talking and working things out, "agreeing that whenever he felt insecure he could tell me, "and I could focus my attention on him for a while.

"It worked really great. "Well, until I found out he had been (beep) his coworker. "that is.". Well... - There you go. - You know what's crazy about that. is like, it is a pretty big pattern. where if someone is being unfaithful, they will often look at you and be like-. - [Tommy] And accuse you. - I bet you're unfaithful. In fact you're mean and you're unfaithful and you're-. - Right. They're justifying their unfaithfulness. Every time. Every time. - That's what that is. - It's a very common trait. "I don't have the details, I don't want the details,

"but he admitted to it in the end, so he did it. "That's enough. "He wanted to work it out and apologized, "begged for a second chance. "But honestly, the idea that he said a word to me. "about an audiobook, about Edward fricking Cullen-". - Whoo! - Congratulations. - "While he was. "getting strange on the side, "it killed any opportunity. "for forgiveness I had inside of me. "It was so ridiculous. "I laugh thinking about it now. "And it's been a month since we broke up. "Like, it makes me feel insane. "It is so funny. "He was yelling at me. "for listening to a book about Mormon vampires.

"while he was cheating on me. "I cannot make this shit up. "100 points to whoever said projection. "the first time I posted. "I can't remember if it was a comment or a message, "but you were right. "I wish I had a cookie.". Cookie! Not the cookie! - Update! The guy from the last story. has crawled through my TV like Samara. (everyone laughs). - "Thanks for the help anyway. "Even if the relationship is a bust now, "I really do appreciate you all.". Oh man. - [Damien] Crazy. - Yeah. - What a awful situation. Silver lining that it's hilarious.

- It is funny. Unfortunately it's hilarious. - There's two little things you can have. when you're like hurt from someone. You can have angry, which angry makes you not feel as sad. Or you can have funny and then you can look back and go, "Wow, that was so stupid.". - Yeah, what a goof. - What a goof. - Yeah, honestly, that guy that cheating on her, real goof move. - Yeah, absolute goof move. - Wow. - "Goofy Movie". - That's a good one. - What's the Prince guy's name in that? Power Line? - Oh, Power Line, yeah. - That's his name? - Yeah.

- Wow. Good brain. - There you go. - Wow. Had six hours of sleep. - The "Reddit Stories" chapters on this video. is gonna show like these stories. and then like "Goofy Movie". (everyone laughs). "Goofy Movie". - There's just two minutes where we're both like, we're all trying to do the like perfect cast. (everyone laughs). - YouTube gives like the skip ahead button at the bottom. It's like we know they're just talking. about (beep) "Goofy Movie". - They're being millennials right now. Give 'em a break. - Like, most replayed. (everyone laughs). - People love this.

Okay. I can't be too shocked. - No. - No. - No. - Can't be too shocked. - Obviously that was not a healthy thing. - Something was up either way. Either way, he had work to do. - That level of suspicion coming outta nowhere-. - It's unfounded. - And it's crazy how common it is. that when people are unfaithful. that this like suspicion for their partner arises. It's interesting, but it's kinda what you said. It's like, I'm capable of it, so my partner's capable of it too. - I think it's also like a guilt thing. And it's hard to be. on like I think the receiving end of that.

because you're like, how do I clock this? Because if someone's acting weird. and calling out a thing about me, I do wanna at least consider. that there might be something wrong about me. And like it's this. Like, am I the asshole? Like, friends told me different things, but then it's, you know, later it's all so clear. - And it's tough when, 'cause this is what people do, they keep you on the ropes. So when you're on the ropes, you can't like be suspicious or like clock back or whatever. 'cause you're defending yourself. - The power dynamic. You're constantly trying to make up for something wrong. that you don't have the space to go, "Hmm...". - She's defending reading "Twilight" over here.

I mean, God. - You know... (everyone laughs). - Wow. - [Shayne] And, you know. - I've been listening to like video essays from Gabby Bell. Just had the "Twilight" one on recently. and I was like, I didn't know Stephanie Meyer was Mormon. And then, so here we go. - That's how you knew. - And that's what made the whole video. - I tried to read "Twilight" back before it like blew up. - You're that cool? - I'm a hipster for "Twilight". I tried to read it, and I just couldn't get into it,

but I have no problem with it. But look, I'll read anything. I mean, I've said on "Smosh Mouth", I read "Morning Glory Milking Farm". - You did read it? - [Shayne] I read it. - Wait, you actually did? - I read it. And it's wild, man. - That's crazy. - And there's a bunch more in the series, and I gotta know what happens. - Yeah. - There's other monsters. - How much more milk is there? - Well, no, it goes to other monsters. There's a mothman, there's a mermaid, there's a ghost. I'm like, how does-. - None of those are mammals, so there's no milk. That's crazy. (everyone laughs).

Well, is it more moth or is it more man? - Well, if it's a ghost of a mammal. Ghost milk. Ectoplasm. - I talk about eating ghost meat-. - I don't think milk is involved in some of the other ones. - Well, then I'm out. - They move past that. (crew laughs). - I'm out. I'm a milk only guy. - I think you can, moths have like those fibers, I think you can like comb mothman. and make a little like sweater. - Well, that's nice you go. - Weaving. I wove the mothman. - I'll have to check it out. - Are you the author? By Kyle. - By Kyle. 23, M, parentheses, horny. I haven't had caffeine in like two weeks,

and I just chugged the yerba mate before this. because I was real sleepy. - Whoa. Great. All right. Our next story comes from Am I The Asshole. "Am I the asshole for expecting my brother. "to turn down a job offer from a place I was rejected from?". - Probably. - Yeah, probably. (Damien chuckles). - Next story. - Next story. (everyone laughs). - "So I, a 22-year-old woman, have done a bit of modeling. "Nothing major, just product modeling. "for smaller clothing brands. "Yesterday I had an audition for a gig.

"and my brother who's 19 came with me. "because he knows I get nervous before auditions. "This particular clothing brand is pretty niche. "and honestly the style is much more in line. "with what my brother wears. "Lots of pinks, pastels, lace, and frills. "I dressed normally and went into my audition, "but unfortunately I didn't get it. "When I came out, "I saw my brother talking to one of the employees. "and to my surprise, "the guy asked if my brother was auditioning. "My brother said no. "And the guy encouraged him to try out. "because he thought he'd be a good fit. "I was caught off guard but played along. "because the worker was still there.

"After the guy left, I told my brother I didn't get the gig. "and he seemed sad for me and tried to console me. "I figured that was the end of it. "But as I was about to leave, he asked where I was going. "I told him I was heading home. "and then he asked, 'What about my audition?'. "I was completely shocked. "I didn't expect him to want to audition. "after I was just rejected. "I asked if he was seriously doing this to me, "and he just shrugged. "and said he didn't see why he shouldn't try. "I called him selfish and left. "A few hours later my brother came home and announced. "that he had been offered one of the modeling spots.

"I had already told our parents that I got rejected. "and what my brother did, and my mom was on my side, "asking him how he could do that to me. "But my dad immediately took his side, "saying that me and my mom were being unreasonable. "He also scolded me for leaving without my brother. "since I was his ride. "and even insinuated that I was just jealous. "I'm not jealous. "I just think it's incredibly rude and selfish. "to go after something your sibling wanted. "but couldn't have. "He knew I wanted it and instead of supporting me, "he took the opportunity for himself. "My brother thinks I'm an ass, "but I really don't see how I'm the bad guy here.

"Am I the asshole?". - You suck. - You definitely suck. - [Damien] You suck a lot. - You did abandon him. He didn't have a ride. - Exactly. - What the hell? - This is another thing of like, this is a sibling dynamic that this is playing out in. 'cause like outside of the context, it's like, if it's just some gig. and you don't really care about it, why not like let your brother have it? But clearly it's like you don't like your brother. 'cause of stuff in the past or something. And so this is just something to cling onto, you know?

- I would go so far as to say with that, maybe they both have their thing. Like, who's the favorite at what? Or like, well, this is my territory. So like modeling is clearly her thing, her dream. - Got it. - And so for the brother to be there. and succeed where she has not. is probably a lot to deal with for a 22-year-old. and a 19-year-old. But you gotta get past that. - [Tommy] Yeah. - I mean, this is a realm that we understand well, right? Like, so many jobs we read about, it's like, oh well we're in kooky entertainment town.

But auditioning is such a real thing, and it's such a real thing 'cause I started auditioning. when I was like a teenager, right? And it's crazy when it's like you. and your friends are auditioning, and it's such a thing for us when it's like, you're not booking work, but your friend books something huge. or booked something that you audition for too. - Yep. - And it hurts. Of course it hurts. Your self worth is tied to it. But you have to recognize too. that it's like, all right, like they're right for it. and I'm not. - [Tommy] Onto the next thing. - Gotta keep moving.

- Yep. - She even said that too. She's like, "Yeah, this is like right at my brother's alley. "And like I dress quote unquote normally.". I'm like, okay, you've got a lot to learn. If you're going to an audition, you have to at least somewhat show them like, oh, I could work in a similar style. Look how easy it is to see me. - You shorten the imagination they have to use. - Yeah, if you have to audition for a role. that's like a little boy, you're not gonna go in like a three piece suit-. - Or gown. - Yeah, exactly. - So I don't know. - She and her brother are not long-term competition. - No. - No. - Like, in this. It's like, why are you...

But also, here's the thing, what I'm saying too is that I understand the feelings, but how she's going about this is making her the asshole. It's okay for her to be like, "All right, you're allowed to take this job. "It's your life, your career, whatever.". But for her to also be like, "I just feel devastated by this. "I hate this.". I'm like, I understand that. - Sure, that's-. - This can suck. - That's fine. It's rejection at the end of the day. - This sounds exactly like a jealous 22-year-old. where it's like, this is gonna start, you're gonna have a path here, you're either gonna go be a crazy actor.

and always be confused about why everyone's betraying you, or you're gonna have a moment and be like, "Oh, I am jealous. "Let's sit with that jealousy, figure that out. "Where's it coming from and can I get through this. "and support my sibling?". And also he went to the audition with her. because she's nervous. - Yeah. - He did her a favor. - He did her a favor. - Yeah. I think it's such a freeing thing. to find joy in other people's successes. and not view it as a threat to yourself. - Absolutely. - It is a freeing thing.

It was a skill that I had to work on. for many years. - Same. - I think every actor experiences that. - Everyone has to do that. Yeah. - And it's freeing to be like, okay, if they're getting the role, it wasn't right for me. - [Damien] Right. - Like, it's less a matter of skill and more just like, hey, like we're all puzzle pieces. and we fit into certain jobs and not into others. - Everyone also has their own like journey. - [Damien] Yeah. - Someone might be getting something right now that's huge. and then right after doesn't, you know, not that you want that, but like, and then you'll get something in five years. that's incredible. You know, it's all over the place.

Everyone's got their own path and their own journey. You can't compare. - Something I've learned too, for the most part, is that there's no such thing as a big break. - No. - [Shayne] It's a kind of a myth that's talked about. - Yeah, it's not real. - You know, it isn't-. - If so, I've had dozens, you know? - Yeah, exactly. It's an up and down, and it's been fascinating now in my 30s. with me and all my friends who I've been acting alongside. with for like 15 or so years, how truly like we do go through different periods. It's like, oh, you're successful right now. - Right now. - And we just understand that at this point of like, yeah, I'm really lucky right now.

- And it lets you celebrate them too 'cause you're like, "Great, I'm glad you're successful right now.". - And like I am at a stage now where I truly am like, I hope like things go well for everyone. - [Tommy] Absolutely. - I want it to. - Then they'll invite you to the cool party. - [Shayne] Yeah. - And then I got you. In five years, I'll bring you to my cool party. - Also, I've said this before, people have a misunderstanding of how networking works too. where they think networking is, I'm gonna go and meet someone who's super successful, and they're gonna make me super successful. - [Tommy] Nope. - Networking is-. - Having friends. - Have a good status quo with everyone you're working with. And then when one of them.

suddenly gets an awesome opportunity, you're there too. Like, and they know you and-. - They wanna bring you. - They just know you. And like, yeah, this would be the kind of thing. where her brother is working on a job. and it's like, oh, we have this other, you know, line that's coming out. and like, you're not really right for it. Wait, wasn't your sister with you? Like, that's networking. - Her brother being successful, I mean, we're talking about one small gig. We're not talking about anything big. But like still it's like, hey, that's awesome. Like, that'll improve your chances in the long run. Comments. "You're the asshole. "If you're a model, you should know by now.

"that being turned down for a job. "has nothing to do with you personally. "and everything to do with fitting the requirements. "for the job. "You didn't fit, your brother does. "There's no betrayal. "because the job was never yours in the first place. "You need to fix your ego. "because this kind of attitude will lose you jobs. "and cost you valuable contacts. "Your brother landing this job. "could potentially mean your family has connections. "with both the company and the photographers. "that would otherwise not exist for either of you. "if he doesn't take it.". Lastly, someone said, "I can understand your feelings being hurt, "but expecting your brother to turn down an opportunity. "in solidarity is unreasonable.

"There's a well-known quote along the lines of, "it's not enough that I should succeed, others must fail. "Your brother isn't the reason you didn't get the job. "Be happy for him, "just like you expected him to support you. "You're the asshole.". - [Tommy] Wow. - Yeah, I mean truly like listening to this, I'd be like, hey, like if you can't change this viewpoint. and this feeling, you shouldn't pursue this. - No, not at all. It's gonna destroy you. - Your heart is gonna get broken a million times. until you learn to change your perspective.

- And there's also nothing worse than like, well there is, but being on the other end of that is hard too. because you want to be happy for like, oh, I got this thing, or like, I'm excited to work on this project. And if there's someone in your life that you know is like, you have to be kind of ashamed of that success in any way, that's a weird dynamic. - That sucks. - Like, how to become enemies with your brother. speed run any%. - I took a point where I had to start like just trying. to find joy out of the audition.

- I love trying to find parking in Hollywood. with a coin operated machine. The last one in Los Angeles. - Man-. - [Damien] I love it. - Driving two hours to a commercial audition. in Santa Monica to just go in for 10 seconds. and be like, to be in the audition. and knowing that you're not gonna get it. 'cause you're looking at everyone else in the waiting room. and you're like, "Why did they send me on this?". - Yeah. - Like, okay. - Like, this one type and then wild card! (everyone laughs). You're like, "Whoa!". - Our next story comes from Am I The Asshole. "Am I the asshole for my response.

"when my sister's husband commented on my husband's manhood? "My husband has been sick for a few months now. "and recently had a surgery. "My parents hosted dinner for him. "and invited the whole family. "My sister's husband Mike. "is the tell it as it is type of man. "Basically the brutally honest type. "My sister says she loves him for his honesty, "but because of it, we've had issues in the past. "After dinner, we were sitting down. "while my husband was in another room. "He was getting some rest.

"Mike looked at me. "and asked if my husband was still good in bed. "because he had read that when men get sick, "their performance would get lower. "I was floored by his question. "Everyone was looking at me in silence. "It was absolutely awkward. "My sister smiled at me as a sign to let it go, "but instead I responded, well, at least better than men. "who can't even impregnate their women. "Now this is where I might be-". (everyone laughs). - Oh my god! - "Now this is where I might be the asshole. "Mike and my sister have suffered from infertility.

"for 10 years and it's on Mike's side. "This response caused a huge argument, "and although Mike stormed off and didn't say anything, "my sister went off calling me abhorrent. "and shaming me for going low. "and using her husband's infertility against him. "I told her he insulted my husband's manhood, "but she said I took this whole thing out of context. "and made it personal. "since he was just talking about men in general. "After the argument, she and Mike left, "and my mom demanded I apologize. "My husband didn't even know what we were arguing about.

"Mom told him I was arguing with my sister over dessert. "Mom said I was in the wrong. "for hurting my sister's feelings with what I said. "and told me to apologize, but I still refused. "Am I the asshole?". - Okay. That was... (everyone laughs). - And we're driving and skert! (everyone laughs). Left turn! - Okay. - I mean, that was a low blow. and that was crazy to respond with, but I kind of, I did gag. I did fan girl for a second.

- I think it's one of, okay, this is one of those stories. 'cause there's sometimes where it's like you're the asshole. but... - You were met with asshole at the beginning. - I'm not saying that that's wrong. I'm just saying like, you were the asshole, but are you happy with your decision? 'Cause I don't think you need to be unhappy. with your decision about being an asshole. - Also the question, it's like, oh, are you guys not having sex because he's ill? - Yeah, he's ill enough to have a surgery too. - He's ill. He's got stitches on. - Whenever someone's like, "Oh, they're brutally honest.".

I'm like, they're a jerk. - I hate that. - Hate that. Hate that. - Also brutally honest is fine. if it's like, oh, if you ask them a question, they're gonna give you the absolute brutally honest answer. - [Damien] Yeah. - But this guy's-. - [Tommy] You have to ask for it. - This guy's just bringing shit up. That's not brutally honest. What the hell? - And there's a way to be honest. without being a (beep) prick. - That's not even an honesty thing. He's not even telling you like, "Hey, this is gonna be hard with your husband now.". He's just literally being like, "How's the sex life, "person who I'm not actually related to?".

(everyone laughs). It's like, what? In what world? - Yeah. - One thing that gives me pause too is the fact. that like the mom saying like, "Oh, they're arguing over dessert.". Like, maybe protecting this sick husband's feelings, but also peacekeeping. Clearly this guy is a problem. You know, the sister looked at her with a smile being like, "Let it go.". This guy's a problem, and it's your fault for breaking the peace. because you said something back. Now what she said is tier 10, like, low blow. Like, she was holding onto that one. for just such an occasion. - Yeah.

- [Damien] Clearly. - She had that in the chamber. - So that's, yeah, that's a little much, but at the same time, she's not an asshole. for saying something back and it built up clearly. - And I mean, if I had a cookie. for every time like a brutally honest type-. - Then you listen to your wife. - Okay. - If every time a brutally honest person is then offended. when it's thrown back at them-. - Absolutely. - It's that bully mentality. - Like, it's like, hey man, like if he said that. and then she threw that back at him and he went, "Okay.". Like, and he was just like... - Solid. You earned my respect. - All right. Blow for blow.

The only thought that I have is, absolutely insane what he said to her, right? Like, I think she's in the right. to throw something back at him. If I was her, I would maybe be thinking about later of like, is that a blow towards just him. or is that a blow towards him. and there's collateral damage of my sister too? You are insulting like a thing that matters to both of them. Like, he's the asshole, but also her sister didn't have her back in that moment.

There's a lot going on. - I feel like a lot of people are put in a tricky position. because of this dude. - [Tommy] 'Cause of this guy. - Yeah. Absolutely. The verdict is not the asshole. - Okay. - Yeah. The comments. "Your brother-in-law's a (beep) weirdo. "What kind of question is that to ask. "when someone has been sick for months. "and recently out of surgery? "Like, why the (beep) is the concern your sex life. "while his brother-in-law is sick? "A normal person would not even think of this. "What the (beep)?". - Yeah, it's weirdo behavior. - Someone else said, "Not the asshole. "He's brutally honest but cannot deal with brutal honesty?

"Brutally honest usually means shitty aunt. "that makes everyone's life impossible, "but you have to take it to keep the peace. "He commented on your husband's illness and manhood. "You commented on his illness and his manhood.". Someone else said, "I had to scroll for a while to see an everyone sucks here. "I completely agree. "Just because someone says or does a shitty thing. "doesn't mean you need to respond in the same shitty way. "They may deserve it in your mind, "but it doesn't absolve you. "If your character is a reflection of your words. "and actions, then you'd be on a similar level.

"of the people you deem to be the asshole. "You'd prefer to get even or win. "rather than try to communicate with and educate others. "Be the change you want to see. "Try to lift others up instead of dragging yourself down. "Everyone sucks here.". - Yes, but there's also, if you're in a dynamic, I mean, this is like, I'm more thinking like in a relationship. If you're in a dynamic like that. as an animal at some point you're backed up into a corner. and like, you know, like let's say you're yelled at a lot. or something, you end up yelling back at some point. - [Shayne] Yeah.

- 'Cause you're trapped in this situation. You have to fight back. - I think if I was at that table. and if I had a conversation with her afterwards, I'd be like, I don't think you need to feel horrible. about what you said. Like, I think it's completely like, he has been doing this to you for so long. You did it back to him. If you could take it back again, is there a way to get the win or to change this behavior. 'cause what you want ultimately. is for him to stop doing this, right? - [Tommy] Right. - That's the ultimate goal here, right?

It's like, I want this guy off my back. I think what could have gotten there. without just becoming one with him. is when someone asks a question like that, just looking them in the face at that dinner table. and being like, "What an absolutely wild question to ask.". - Yeah. - Like, be like, I think questions are the best way-. - Absolutely. - To tackle these types of people. Is when someone asks something so uncomfortable, be like, "Why are you interested in that? "Why are you thinking about that?". - It's like, do you hear how you sound right now?

- I think that's the better way to handle it. Because if someone's then mad at you for pointing that out, they're absolutely the asshole. - [Tommy] Right. - But once again, I'm not sitting here going like, "How dare you do that?". Like, this person started it. - I've gotten to a point in my life where I'm like, if someone is ever just like, "Hey, I tell it like it is.". I'm like, "We're not gonna be friends.". - Yep. - I appreciate you. - 100%. - Walk away. - Goodbye. I'm all set. - [Tommy] Same. - Yeah. Well, man.

Okay. (everyone laughs). - Well, man. - Update. He has 30 kids. (everyone laughs). To get back at me, he had 30 kids right now. - Okay. Our next story. Am I The Asshole. "Am I the asshole for unplugging my fiancee's phone, "fully charged, to use my own charger. "when my phone was at 4%?". - I hope there's more. - Do people, when they write these, understand what they're writing?

That's unbelievable. - My wife and I share the only outlet in our city. (everyone laughs). People come from miles to see it. - We are an electricity oasis. - God. Okay, let's see what this story is. - I hope they keep writing 'em. I don't want 'em to stop. - We live on a cloud above a mountain, and the road is very long. - Look, it's imperative for us that people keep writing it. - No, it's true. It's true. (crew laughs). - "I, a 28-year-old man live with my fiancee, who's 25.

"And we recently had a disagreement. "that I'd like some outside opinions on. "We have a USB-C charger that stays in the living room. "Technically it's mine. "But since we live together, we both use it when needed. "A few days ago, her phone was plugged into the charger, "but it was already at 100%. "Meanwhile, my phone was at 4%, "and I urgently needed to send an important email. "or something similar. "I don't remember exactly, "but it was something time sensitive. "In my rush, I asked her, "'Can I use the charger?'. "while already unplugging her phone to connect mine.

"She immediately said, 'No.'. "This surprised me as her phone was already fully charged. "and mine was about to die. "I had already plugged in my phone by then. "So I said, 'But your battery is full.'. "She got really upset, and we had a brief argument about it. "We dropped it at the time, "but the issue came up again a few days later. "She told me that what I did was rude. "and compared it to her watching TV. "and me changing the channel without asking. "I disagreed. "because if she were actively watching something, "I wouldn't just change the channel. "This was different. "She insisted that it was negotiable etiquette, "meaning that it's still rude.

"even if I think it makes sense. "According to her, I should have asked, "and if she said no, I should have respected that, "even though it was my charger. "and her phone was already at 100%. "So am I the asshole for unplugging her fully charged phone. "to charge mine in an urgent situation?". I think this is another one-. - We're back here. It's not about the charger. - It's another that subreddit. Oh My God Just Break Up Already. - Yep. - Just like, come on. Like, what? - This is a mess, first of all. I'm gonna go ahead and throw out a prediction.

I think there's gonna be an update. I think she's cheating on him. - She did not want him touching that phone. - No, don't look at the phone! Like, yeah. - Oh. - That's the only thing I can think of. that's literally like... Look, I know money doesn't grow on trees. You gotta have a second way to charge the phone. if it's that important to one person. - Also, if it's at 100... If it's at 100%... I start crying. If it's at 100%, then take it out of the charger. - He gave her everything. 100 for the (indistinct).

- We got another cookie on our hands. I mean, it's just like, if your arguments are at this level. over this- - Over that. - What's going on here? - Figure it out, baby. - You gotta take it outta the bread bag and figure it out. - Verdict not the asshole. - All right. And we got a logical answer. - Talk about it in a workplace setting. is a little different. Like, with someone like, but a partner. But I still think you throw it out first. Just like, "Hey, can I plug mine in?". - I'd go, "Hey, your phone's at 100. "Mine's at four. "Do you mind if I plug in?". - And it'd be like, "Yeah.".

- Right. And that's what it should be. - [Shayne] I wouldn't question that. - And it's like, you know, the prompt of like, here, I would probably just be like, "Hey,". 'cause it's most likely not my charger. So I would most likely be like, "Hey, would you mind if I did this?". - [Damien] Yeah. - [Shayne] Right. - But like any sane person. or like, you know, would just be like, "Sure, yeah. "Just use it. Who cares?". - I wonder what the dynamic is there too. And maybe I'm reading into it too much, but the fact that like if a phone is at 100%. and that is his charger right there, the fact that he, like, he didn't really ask, he was doing it at the same time as asking, but like the fact that you would have to ask,

like that's the dynamic of like your phone's at 100. Of course I can use it. Right? Like, why are you asking? What kind of eggshells are there? - Yeah, and it's being brought up a few days later. Like, whoa. Comments. "Not the asshole. "But does your fiancee like to have the last word. "in anything and everything no matter what? "Are you sure that's something you want to be dealing with. "for the rest of your life?". 1,700 up votes. OP said, "Usually yes. "Lately I fear bringing up my complaints because of that. "Sadly, it wasn't like that for years.

"Five years together. "And I could count on one hand, "but lately has become the rule.". Someone said, "Read what you wrote. "I fear bringing my complaints. "Why are you marrying someone you are afraid to talk to? "This is so blatantly a monstrous red flag. "She's not going to get more kind, accommodating, "and generous of spirit now that she has you locked down. "and no longer has to put her best foot forward. "She is only going to get worse. "This is who she is. "Why are you doing this to yourself? "Move forward or not, it's your life. "But what you are seeing here.

"is what you are signing up for. "Have fun.". I really think, Damien, I agree with what you kind of pointed out. This is sounding like cheating behavior a little. - Something's up. Also, even if it's not, you know, they said they've been together five years. She's 25, he's 28. They met when she was 20. - Oh. - When people are like, "Your brain isn't fully developed.". That scientific study is misquoted all the time. To my understanding, they stopped the study after 25. because the brain kept developing. and they thought it would cut off sooner than that.

I think your brain develops your whole life. - Right. You're constantly learning. - But outside of that, you are still doing a lot of growth between 20 and 25. - You're learning who you are. - And if you're in a relationship that whole time, you're missing out on some solo time. that you would learn more about yourself. - Yeah. - If she turns out to be the coworker from the last story. with the cheating... - Ooh, that'd be a cookie. - That'd be a whole cookie. This just sounds like there's tons of resentment everywhere. - Absolutely. - So it's like, you gotta ask yourself, is this working?

Well-. - No update? - No update. - Oh man. He still... Oh no. - So we don't know. We don't know. All right, our final story. - Let's go. - We have an Am I The Asshole. and a Best of Redditor Updates. - Oh good. - And I'm excited because this is a will I be the asshole. - Oh. - So they're asking beforehand, and I'm assuming we're gonna get the result. - Time travel. (crew laughs). - What is it like past perfect tense? Like, will I have been the asshole? (everyone laughs). - "Would I be the asshole. "for telling my son to wear not his favorite jacket anymore.

"because it looks gay?". All right. - Okay. - Probably. - I've got something stocked. that we'll bring up after this is over. - "I'm a single dad to my son Oliver, who's 10. "He's with me most of the time. "and sees his mom every other weekend. "He's an awesome kid. "Creative, full of energy, "and he's got his own sense of style that's pretty unique. "He loves bright colors, nail polish,

"and clothes that some people might think are more girly. "If I'm honest, I think Oliver might be gay. "And I'm totally cool with that. "I've always made it clear that whoever he turns out to be, "I'll support him 100%. "Because of how he dresses and acts, "Oliver's had a really tough time with other kids. "He got bullied so badly at his old school. "that I ended up pulling him out and homeschooling him. "The school wasn't helpful at all, "and it was heartbreaking to see him go through that. "He struggled to make friends, "and it kills me to see him feel so alone. "Now he's starting back at school in September, "and he's really excited about it. "But recently we were at a cousin's birthday party.

"and Oliver wore his favorite jacket, "which is a bright pink sparkly one that he loves. "Some of the other kids started picking on him, "saying he looked gay. "I stepped in, got the kids to apologize, "but it ruined the day for Oliver. "I'm worried about how things will go. "when he is back at school. "I've been thinking about whether I should talk to Oliver. "about maybe toning it down a bit, "especially when he's around new people. "Not because I want him to change who he is, "but because I hate seeing him get hurt. "and feeling like an outcast. "I don't want him to feel like he has to hide who he is,

"but I also don't want him to be picked on. "or excluded because of it. "But then I feel like a complete arsehole. "for even thinking about this. "I don't want him to think that I'm ashamed of him. "or that he has to conform to be accepted. "I want him to feel free to be himself, "but I'm also scared of him being hurt. "by others who don't get it. "So would I be the asshole. "if I talked to Oliver about maybe being a bit more low-key. "with his style?". (Shayne sighs). - Man, oh, man. - That's a difficult thing 'cause exactly. I mean, this is a good person, I can tell. from like how it's like, you know,

it wouldn't be a problem if he's gay, but it is a predicament when it's like your kid. is like getting in danger. I have an answer by the way. I have a solution. I know the answer to this. It's tricky because you don't want them. to get like literally hurt. for how they wanna express themselves. and you don't want them not to express themselves. And it's like a young person, you can't really take that to them, you know? 'Cause they're not gonna be able to, they might not be grown enough to understand. that complex feeling of like, I don't want you to get hurt.

I don't want you to not express yourself. Anyway, the answer is taekwondo classes. The answer is taekwondo classes. - Oh. - You put this kid in taekwondo classes. so this kid can defend themself if they need to. - Wow. - [Damien] That's great. - That's my plan. - [Damien] Wow. - And then they have a cool little hobby. - I did karate as a kid and I wasn't cool, but I also had a bowl cut. and I don't think I ever felt worried about getting hurt. - I was in taekwondo classes, and they were like, why are you wearing a Billabong shirt? And I was like, "Hyah!". You know?

- Yeah. - Yeah. - I mean, it's interesting. 'cause by the title we were assuming, I was assuming one thing about this guy. - [Tommy] Right. - And then you start reading and you see another thing. But it makes me wonder how much of parents' homophobia. comes from this place of like, they're scared for their kid, right? 'Cause the world sucks. And you're scared about the world. But in the process, if he does that, if he actually goes through with this, now he's also-. - He's instilling that on his child. - Like, his son also goes, "And my dad also doesn't like it.".

- Right. - And so it's like you kind of actually, is it more important to just be the support for him? - And that's what you have to be. That's why I was like, you can't bring this to him. because he is gonna internalize it anyway. - [Shayne] Yeah. - When I came out to my friend's mom, she cried. 'cause she was worried I was gonna get hate crimed. And it was like, oh, that's sweet. But, you know, I'm not gonna, most likely. - Yeah. - So yeah, it is, you know, it always comes from a good place, quote unquote,

but there's still, you know, that homophobia that just comes from fear of pain and hurt. for this person. - Yeah. - But you can't lean into the negatives of society. out of fear. You have to fight against them and just support. - And there's like, no matter how right it feels in his head, there's sometimes where like you'll be thinking of a motive. or a decision or advice. And then I almost think I'm like, does this sound like the opposite of like Disney logic. in a movie where it's like, "Hey, hide who you are.".

- Yeah. - Like, oh wait, that's probably not the right answer then. - It must be so hard being a parent, like wanting to support, but also just like, it's probably just so hard to see your kid sad. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. It's also tough when it comes to bullying. It's like you can change the clothes and stuff. Kids are ruthless. People are ruthless, right? And truly, my only hope with this situation is just like, if he is who he is and he's showing off who he is, he will hopefully eventually find others-. - Absolutely.

- Who see who he is and love that. - [Tommy] There'll be a safe community. - And he'll find his group. - Right. - You know, that's the hope. - And you just need to foster that human, that growth in this child, you know? - Comments. "Don't do it. "Kids will still bully him and all he will remember. "is that you deterred him from expressing himself. "Trust me, the same thing occurred in our house. "I was trying to keep him from being bullied, "but my child felt as though I didn't accept him. "and that he needed to pretend he was something he wasn't. "Lots of later life therapy. "If he's gay, if he's straight, let him be himself.

"and tell him as long as he likes his clothes, "that's all that matters. "Sincerely, the mom of an amazing queer kid.". Someone else said, "No one's the asshole. "You want to protect your son. "You think the best way to do that is through conformity. "I don't think you're an asshole, "but there may be other ways of handling this. "Teach your son unbridled self-confidence. "and clever comebacks. "Teach him how to stand up to bullies, "disarm them, and humor them, and reverse heckling. "Don't teach him that the key to acceptance. "is not to be himself. "He'll internalize that toxicity into his worldview. "Kids are notoriously mean.

"He'll look to you for validation, "and he's better off getting it from you than none at all.". Update. (Damien gasps). - I forgot! - A month later. - Taekwondo classes. - He hit puberty and looks like Fabio now. and beats up everyone. - "Hey, all. "It's been about 26 days since my original post. "and I thought I'd give an update. "now that Oliver has had his first week back at school. "I can happily say that so far things are going much better. "than I'd hoped.". - [Damien] Hell yeah. - "Over the summer, "Oliver and I had a really important heart to heart. "I sat him down and told him just how incredibly proud I am.

"of the person he is becoming. "I made sure he knew. "that there is absolutely nothing he could ever do. "that would change the way I see him. "or make me love him any less. "Honestly, it was a bit emotional, "and I even got a bit choked up. "I told him that if wearing his favorite jacket, "the one that's caused some hurt before, "made him happy, I'd stand behind him 100%. "But I also wanted to make sure he was prepared. "I explained that while I'll always be there for him, "I can't always be around to protect him. "and he might have to stand up for himself. "if kids make fun of him. "I made it clear that this doesn't mean. "he should change anything about who he is,

"but that he needs to be ready to handle it. "if anyone says anything cruel. "Oliver understood, and we spent the summer coming up. "with some playful comebacks together. "He really wanted to take the jacket with him to school, "so we made it a bit of a project. "Imagining the kinds of things kids might say. "and crafting witty replies that he could fire back with. "It was actually pretty fun, "and I think it helped him feel more confident about it. "Now, back to school. "His new teacher knows all about his past struggles. "with bullying and she's been amazing. "She's keeping a close eye on things. "and making sure he feels safe and comfortable. "It's made such a difference already.

"And Oliver's first week couldn't have gone better. "He's even made a friend, a boy named Sam, "and they've really hit it off. "They're planning to meet up tomorrow at the Wacky Warehouse. "and Oliver can't stop talking about it. "It's been a long time since I've seen him this excited. "about spending time with someone his age. "I know it's still early days, "but seeing him come home happy. "and smiling each day has been such a relief. "Thanks to everyone who gave advice. "and encouragement on my original post. "I really took a lot of it to heart, "and I think it made a big difference. "in how I approached all of this.". - Yay! - That's a 10 out of 10 parent.

I love that. - That makes me so happy. That's awesome. - Update number two. (Damien gasps). "I just wanted to hop on. "and give a small update about Oliver's play date. "over the weekend. "Firstly, when Oliver was getting ready, "he wanted to wear all his flamboyant clothes. "He asked me if I thought it was a good idea. "His friend had seen him in his jacket, "but he was a little worried how he would react. "to the full Oliver. "I told him to wear whatever he wanted. "and if this friend was worth being friends with, "they would accept him for exactly how he is. "This made Oliver smile. "He wore his full Oliver outfit.

"When we were walking in, "I could feel Oliver getting a bit nervous. "He was bullied so much in his last school for how he was, "so I understood why. "I held his hand tight and gave it two squeezes. "This means I love you. "Something I learned to teach him from Reddit actually. "The friend's dad was with him, "and he looked at Oliver and gave a little curious look, "but apart from that it was fine. "The boy said he loved Oliver's clothes. "They spent about four hours playing, "and we ended up eating together. "On the way home, "I told Oliver how proud I am of the little man he is. "I'm so proud of how he is willing to be himself. "and so brave to continue despite any backlash he gets.

"I love him so much. "This is my final update on this account. "I don't know if I'll ever show you these posts, Oliver, "maybe in a few years when you're older, so we can...". Okay, that's... - [Emily] Yep, yep. - The message? Damn, I wasn't expecting that. Can't hit me with that. - I'm already crying. Let's just do it. - All right, we're gonna do this. Okay. "I don't know if I'll ever show you these posts, Oliver, "maybe in a few years when you're older, "so we can laugh at how worried I was about you.

"Your dad is so proud of you. "I think you're the most amazing person in the whole world, "even when you drive me absolutely nuts. "I am so lucky to get to be your father. "I am so lucky you're in my life. "I love you.". - Oh my god. Dude. - You're killing us! - Jesus. - Well, that was great, Shayne. Where can people find you? - [Shayne] Ah. Ah. - Oh, that's so sweet. - Damn. - Oh my god. - Wow.

- Well, good for you, Oliver. You got a good dad, Oliver. That's awesome. - Stuck the landing. - Damn. What an ending. (everyone laughs). - All of us are like... - Whenever these types of posts, 'cause we've read through so many stories, I'm like, okay, I'm prepared for some information. But then if you get a-. - [Tommy] The pivot. - A perception or a perspective shift. - Yes. - That's gonna kill me. - Oh my god. - I can't deliver a message. - No. (everyone laughs). It's like, 20 years later,

I'm standing here at the front of your wedding. Just like (mock retches). Just like anytime there's a jump, yeah, you're right, that is a punch. - Oh my god. - Oh. - That's so good. - That's also like the quote that gets me is the like, "I'm so proud of you.". - Yeah. It's so nice hearing a queer story with a good parent, you know? It's just so nice. - I will also say like, I think we all understand this. Like, you meet people who have like an unbridled confidence. and it's like, oh, what's the secret?

And they're just like, "Well, my parents are awesome. "They have my back.". And it's like, man, anything can go in your life. And it's like, but I'm fine 'cause I've got that. It's such a huge thing. - It's a huge factor. - Oh man. - I think addendum, if he also is concerned about self-defense, it's that moment of like, he has that talk and he is like, "I'm very proud of you.". And then the lights go off and he says, "Now you must strike to kill or you'll never hit me.". (everyone laughs). Your training begins today. I'm like, that's a good dad. - Must be prepared for anything at any time. - Use your shadow clone jitsu.

- And this is a mace. (everyone laughs). - Oh, mace like the spray? No, a mace. (everyone laughs). - That's a flail, Dad. You've done well. (everyone laughs). - The lights come back on. - Now I've never been prouder of you. (everyone laughs). - Oh my god. I'm still leaking. - [Shayne] Oh God. - Yeah, I'm on meds that doesn't let me cry, so it just shoots out one and it hurts. (everyone laughs). - It's like a little pearl comes out. - Yeah, no, I finished a video game this weekend. that's like a 90 hour game. and it like, I just wept 'cause it's a good story. So I'm like, I'm all out. - "Metaphor"?

- No, after "Metaphor", I was like-. - "Spirit Fair"? - God no. Oh. I did cry after "Metaphor". No. "Persona 3" I cried after, which is also Atlas published, so that's like "Metaphor". - [Shayne] Yeah. - Hey, Oliver. Good kid. - [Tommy] Good kid. - Damn. - Good kid. Good dad. Good story. - Thank you both for being here. What a journey. - That was awesome. - We started with a cookie. We ended with tears. ♪ How did it end up like this ♪. - That's right. (everyone laughs). I was like, the joke is right there. (everyone laughs).

♪ It was only a cookie ♪. - Thank you for watching. And once again, it's your last chance to get tickets. to watch the VOD of "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories Live". So get your tickets at live.smosh.com. Check it out. It was a great show, I am certain. (everyone laughs). - Especially that one part. Shayne has big surprise for the audience. (everyone laughs). - Yeah. And we'll see you next week for more "Reddit Stories". See you later. Goodbye.

- Arrivederco.