Putting Relationships To The Test | Reading Reddit Stories
- Hello and welcome to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories". I'm Shayne. And today we've got a classic Am I The Asshole episode. And I'm joined by two people who are not the asshole. - Wow. - [Shayne] Ian and Amanda. - I was about to be ready for-. - [Shayne] Thought it was gonna happen, but no. - Beat your freaking butt, my guy. - [Shayne] I know. - 'Cause this is your boss. - That's true. - He owns you. (Shayne laughs). And I own you too, bitch. (Shayne laughs). Owned. - Yeah, sure. Sure. - Smosh catch phrase. - No, it's more fun. You gotta be more intense, Ian.
You gotta be like, "I own you people.". - Do I? - Yes. - No. - People behind the camera are shaking their heads no. (Shayne laughs). - Oh, okay. Just do it to cast then. - Okay. I own you! - I give you the green light. - I'm very excited for Am I The Asshole stories. because I mean, I feel like that's kind of like. where we started with these. - Oh yeah. It's still the bread and butter. of pretty much every episode. All right, well let's just hop into these. - Let's do it. - Okay, our first one.
"Am I the asshole for just deciding not to travel. "because my wife made reservations for Disney again?". - Hmm. - Oh boy. - Oh God. - We've got a Disney adult story. - Let's go. - Let's go. - You guys knew I was gonna be on the show. and you put a Disney adult in here. - Let's go. - "My wife Jess and I have been married. "for the past 13 years. "We're both 39. "After experiencing financial hardship. "throughout our 20s and early 30s, "Jess and I are now fortunate enough. "to have the means to travel once or twice a year.
"The only problem is that Jess literally. "only wants to go to Disney World. "We have been to Disney nine times now, "and every vacation we have ever taken together. "was to go there, including our honeymoon. "So we go, we eat the Mickey Mouse ice cream, "we wear the mouse ears, we stay in the official hotels, "we see the characters, we ride the rides, "we take the pictures in front of Cinderella's Castle, "and we come home every trip. "I'm honestly beyond sick of Disney, "and I never really liked going in the first place.
"Jess knows this, "but she has no concept of travel beyond Disney. "We're currently planning a trip for April, "and Jess, as usual, said that we can just go to Disney. "I explained that it sounds fun, "but hey, why don't we go somewhere like Hawaii this time? "Jess was confused. "She asked why we would go to Hawaii. "I responded that we could enjoy the spas. "and go to the beach. "Jess mumbled a half-hearted answer and walked away. "A few days later, she approached me. "saying that she made hotel reservations for Hawaii.
"At first I was excited. "because although she did so without consulting me, "it seemed like she was really listening. "But then when she showed me the hotel she booked, "I found she had made reservations for Aulani.". - Which is... - "The Disney resort in Hawaii.". - That's right. - Ooh, boy. - "Frustrated, I told her that I'm honestly tired of Disney. "and that I just want to have a different experience. "this time. "She told me that she was compromising with me. "and that I should be appreciative for the time she spent. "I asked her if she was willing to consider anything.
"other than Disney for our trip, and she said no.". - Whoa! - "At this point, I said that I wasn't going. "Now she's furious. "She canceled the reservation she made, "and now she's looking for a friend. "to go to Disney World with again without me. "Was I the asshole here. "for not trying to accommodate her request?". - No? - Eh... I mean, look, this guy? - [Shayne] Yeah. - Sounds like a very accommodating husband, saying like,
"I never really enjoyed Disney,". and then agreeing to go all these times. - [Amanda] Yeah. - But also like marriage is a partnership. and it sounds like in every discussion of a vacation, she has won this argument and... - Right. - Yeah, I mean, luckily, I think the Disney resort on Hawaii. is like, it is more of like a hotel. - [Shayne] Yeah.
- Like, I think there's like stuff for like kids to do. - Yeah. - But there's not like roller coasters. and Space Mountain and stuff. It's just a place where you sleep. and then you can like go outside and like enjoy Hawaii. - Sure. It's still just like, okay, our vacations are always gonna be Disney themed. - [Ian] Yeah. - And he's tired of it, and he's telling her, "Hey, I'm tired of this.". - To me, it sounds like he hasn't said he's tired of it. at all until right now, he's putting his foot down, and he's putting it all down at once, and he let resentment build up.
- Yeah, which is still, it's still a little sad to me. that in all these years she's never been like, "What would you like to do?". - No, I agree. I don't think he's an asshole at all for this at all. But like, yeah, I think it's time to maybe go to Europe. - Yeah. I'm just like, I'm so confused. because like you're together for like, what was it, 12 years? And how do you like not even communicate. about like where you're going for your vacation? - Right.
- Like, well, we're going to Hawaii. Disney Hawaii. Like, what? You already bought the tickets and everything? That's insane. - Yeah. Unless it's like, oh, you book the reservations. You pick. It's like, don't just go off and just book it. Like, let's do that together. See, where I thought this story was going. was she was gonna be like, "Yeah, let's go to Europe. "Let's go to Japan. "Let's go to Beijing.". And then it's gonna be like-. - Disney. - Disney Tokyo. Disney Paris. Like, she was gonna be like, "Let's go to one of those.". Which frankly, if you wanna argue a compromise-.
- That's one. - It's like, "Let's go to Paris. "and one of the days we'll go to Disney Paris.". - [Ian] Yeah. - And then some of the other days we'll go do other things. - Right. - And I think that Disneyland isn't even, it's not even in Paris. Like, it's like a ways out of the city. So that would be a good excuse to be like, "Yeah, let's go to Disneyland in Paris,". and be like, "Oh, it's like so far away from Paris. "Let's just go for one day.". And then, "Oh, our hotel's here in Paris. "Guess we gotta walk around Paris.". I think that there's a good way. that this husband can convince her.
to go to other places in the world. He's like, "Hey, hey, you know Epcot? "You know how they have that like little Japan place? "We could go to the real one.". - No. (Shayne laughs). - "They have like a whole... "There's a whole place that's like that in country size.". - Do you know that there's a real Morocco? - Why is she like this AI robot where it's like, Jess only wants... Just tell her! Hey honey, I don't wanna see Mickey for a long time. (everyone laughs).
Just tell your wife! - I (beep) hate Mickey Mouse! - Just tell her! - You know what I also... I don't think this is what's happening, but I know that I do this. and I have to like force myself away from it, which is, they didn't go on vacations for the longest time. 'cause they couldn't afford it. They finally could. and probably one of their first trips was Disney World. and it was like that rocked. Let's do it again. - Again. Right. - Because we know it rocked. It's so easy to fall into the like-. - [Amanda] Trap. - Well, we've done that and it's awesome, so let's just keep going there. - It's safe. - And I think the like more common one is like restaurants.
It's like, oh, that restaurant-. - Yeah, this is our spot. - We love it. We're gonna just keep going there. It's like we have to try something new eventually. - Right. - And then you try something new and you're like, "That's our new favorite spot.". - Right. It's comfort. - It's the tough thing. And there's nothing wrong with-. - But nine years in a row? - Nine years in a row, I think it's like- - [Ian] That's insane. - Unless they are both stoked about it. - Right. - [Shayne] That's fine. - Right. - But he's not. - Right. - Yeah. - Okay. Comments. Well, verdict, not the asshole. - [Ian] Sure. - [Amanda] Yeah.
- Comments. "How the (beep) did this go on for nine trips. "without you saying something? "I'd have gone mad after going a second time.". - Correct. - Someone else said, "Your wife needs to learn. "to consider her husband's feelings instead of only her own. "Not the asshole.". Lastly, someone said, "What the (beep)? "You have a wife problem. "She's not into fully compromising at all. "She doesn't look beyond herself much. "Book yourself a nice vacation and go.". - Yeah, you got a woman problem, bro. - You got a wife problem. - You gotta get that wife in line. - 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one. (everyone laughs). Disney.
Like, what? - I mean, it definitely. seems like they have a communication problem. or like a standing up for like what you want to do problem. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Okay. Update. - Yes! Thank you. (crew laughs). - "About a week ago, "I made a post about an argument my wife Jess and I had. "The TLDR version of it is, "Jess loves going to Disney World, "and we have gone there for literally every trip. "during our marriage, "which is now at an impressive nine times. "When I asked Jess if we could go somewhere like Hawaii,
"she suggested Aulani, the Disney resort, "and I dismissed the idea completely. "This upset Jess. "Here's the update. "I screwed up. "I know most people were giving me. "the not the asshole judgment, "but Jess actually showed a great deal of openness. "to my idea. "She took initiative by reserving the hotel. "because she wanted me to be happy. "When I said, nope, no Disney, "she felt that I hadn't put any effort. "into taking her feelings into consideration, "and she was completely right. "I hadn't. "It was in a twisted way my form of revenge. "for dragging me to Disney World all those times.
"In the last post, some people commented. "about how Aulani barely even looks. "like a Disney resort at all. "This is something I should have researched myself. "before I threw the gauntlet down with Jess. "When I looked into it, "it looked like a run of the mill Hawaiian resort. "In my defense, going to Disney World nine times. "has kind of made me sensitive, "and I'm fairly sure that on a Rorschach test, "I'd see nothing but mouse ears at this point, "but I really should not have jumped to conclusions. "A day after I made the post, "I approached Jess and apologized.
"I was wrong. "Yes, she might be a Disney adult, "but aside from always wanting to go to their theme parks, "she's never obnoxious about it. "I said I was sorry. "and asked for permission to reserve the hotel again. "And Jess responded that she'd love to go to Aulani with me. "When I told her that it's not really all that Disney, "Jess said, 'Of course, I knew that. "'I wanted to go because my sister said it was beautiful.'. "I'm a moron. "Jess and I have re-planned our vacation, "and we're super excited to be going now. "I came to this realization. "because a lot of people pointed out some things. "I should have figured out myself.
"Thank you.". - Okay, blink twice if you need assistance, buddy. - Yeah. - I mean, he is right. It is just like a resort. - Sure. I just still- - No! - I still don't love that he's jumping to, "I'm not considering her feelings.". Like, well, she didn't consider your feelings. for nine years, so... I don't know. - No. - We obviously don't know these people on a real level. We just have this story. But from what I'm gathering from here, it just doesn't sound like she's considering him. - I don't know what happened in between that post or what,
but that's a different man writing that. - Hey, guys, ooh boy, I really overreacted. - [Ian] She saw the post. Yeah. (laughs). - She's in a Mickey costume like, "Say what I said.". - Now write that down. (everyone laughs). - That's better. You're so right. - Update number two! - Stop! - Oh. - She's like, "Hey, it's Jess. "I don't know where he's been. "He's been missing for two weeks.". - [Shayne] Yeah. (everyone laughs). "Hi again, everybody. "This situation all started.
"because my wife Jess and I had an argument. "about going to Disney World-" - Please. - [Shayne] "On vacation again.". - Please. - "I didn't wanna go because we've been there nine times. "When I suggested Hawaii, Jess made reservations for Aulani, "which...". Previously on "Dragon Ball Z"! (everyone laughs). "Disney Resort.". Okay. "And we realized that I was wrong. "and that Aulani was a perfectly fine compromise.". - [Amanda] Okay. - "Unfortunately, we will not be going to Aulani. "for our upcoming vacation.". - Oh. - "A couple of days after Christmas, "Jess had a minor car accident. "She mistook the drive for reverse. "and backed into our garage door.
"When I heard the loud bang, "I ran outside and found Jess holding her neck in the car. "I immediately drove her to the hospital. "where she got x-rays done. "She seemed fine, "but the doctor said that based on her symptoms, "headache, neck pain, numbness in her fingers, "she could have whiplash. "Jess and I figured that she would be fine in a couple days, "but almost two weeks later, "she is still complaining about back pain. "Yesterday she approached me. "saying that she wasn't confident she could go to Hawaii. "in a few months. "I asked what she wanted to do. "And while apologizing profusely,
"she asked me if we could postpone that trip. "I responded that she had absolutely nothing. "to apologize for. "After that, she said that she felt bad. "about not being able to go to Hawaii, "but she might be able to make it to Disney World.". (crew laughs). - Shut up! - Please! Please stop it! - Stop it! Stop it! - Please stop! She's like, "Eh, we have to have Mickey touch my neck.". - But you know what'll help? Maybe Space Mountain will get it back right. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - No, this is fake. - Okay 'cause when you said that she backed into her garage.
and she got whiplash from that, I was like, was she driving like a Tesla? - She went zero to 60, like a rollercoaster? - She's flooring it out of her garage. - Yeah. That's crazy. - All right, all right, let's continue. - Yeah, sorry. - "While I didn't understand at first, "she told me that it was very high accessibility. "and in a worst case scenario, ECV rentals. "She doubts that will be necessary, "but assured me that we could take it easy there. "I know that this isn't the conclusion people here wanted,
"and it's certainly not what I wanted to do. "with my next vacation, "but Jess's health has to come first here. "We've made our reservations. "It's not where I want to go, "but Jess is super happy right now. "and that's what matters most to me. "Thank you all for your input.". Is this a no sleep post? - She's like this. She's like, "Whoo!" - This is terrifying. - "I'm so happy. "We're going to (beep) Disney.". Her neck is just. back to itself. - Oh my god. - You injured your neck and you want to go to a theme park? - Oh, wait, hold on, hold on. She's playing, okay. Hear me out.
- [Amanda] Hear me out? - 'Cause when you have like... When you go to Disneyland, right, and you have like accessibility problems, don't you like get to like skip the line? - [Emily] They changed that. - They changed that? - They changed that. People were taking advantage of it. - Whoa! - 'Cause I was gonna say maybe she's like playing 3D chess. She's like, "Okay, I'll run into the garage, hurt my neck, "so I can skip the line at Disney.". - I don't think that'll get you in front of the line. - This man, it's like his body is in a room. and he has these little like "Black Mirror" things on.
and he's just transported. into like the perfect husband for Jess. How does he believe that this is the thing? - He's in "Severance". and every year he just comes into consciousness. at Disney World over and over again. - Also like whiplash. - This is like-. - I don't know, - An amusement park is not where I would go. if I injured my neck. - No. - You shouldn't ride any rides if you have a neck injury. - Go to Hawaii. - Literally, she's like, "Okay, Disney World is fine, "but the resort where we're gonna lay. "by a pool all day is dangerous.".
Bullshit. - I can't handle him though. - I hate her. (crew laughs). - Well, guess what? (everyone laughs). Mickey is gonna come and get you. Dude, you're effed. - My old boss is gonna come get me. No, this is... Once again, I only have this story. I have no other information. This just feels like total manipulation to me. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. What? She's like, "Oh, I backed into the garage.". She's like, "Okay. For Mickey.".
- No, I'm so upset that he agreed what he should have said. and the actual answer is, "No, we're not going on any vacation. "We're not getting on planes. "We're not going anywhere.". - Yeah. - If you have this injury that you're saying. that happened a couple weeks ago. that you don't feel confident a few months from now. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Bullshit. - I feel like this is like some kind. of like weird new agoraphobia where like you only feel safe-. - Yes. - You only feel safe inside your own house and Disney World.
- Yeah. God, that's the future. - We're living in. - Tell us. Update? - No more updates. - [Amanda] Another update? - [Shayne] It ends there. - That's because-. - He's going to Disney World. - Oh, 100% they're going to Disney. - He's not going anywhere. - He is going to Disney World and he's gonna love it! - He's going to Disney World for the rest of his life. - He's not going anywhere. Maybe the top of his head is going somewhere, but the rest of his body is buried, yo. He's attached to something else, and she's pulling that arm and it's a phantom body.
I'm sorry. What are we doing here? - Oh my god. - "Three Body Problem", am I right? - I was wondering why you guys were losing it off camera. as you were getting to that point. I was like, "What's so funny?". - No, I was like, "Something's coming.". Also, him re-explaining the story. just shows that he is so like in this pattern of like, "And I'm a good husband. "and here's the story and I was wrong. "I am wrong.". And it's like, okay. This is a nightmare. - They live in the Haunted Mansion. - This might be-. - We're going to Disneyland. - [Amanda] She loves that.
- This might be one of my favorite stories. - This is a very good one. - What? - This is a really good one. - No, it's extremely funny. It's also a nightmare. - Yeah. - Nightmare. - Next story. - God. Can we just move on? I don't know. - Best of Redditor Updates. - Yay! - Buckle up. "Am I the asshole for leaving my Bumble date stranded. "at a restaurant after she admitted she was going. "to her guy best friend's place after the date?". - Stranded? - [Shayne] Okay. - Okay. - "A couple months ago, I matched with Anna on Bumble.
"I thought we vibed really well. "She had a really nice and funny demeanor, "and we had lots of engaging conversations on FaceTime. "We set up our first dinner date last week. "I proposed a really nice restaurant, "which was sort of far from where we lived, "but I really wanted to treat Anna. "because I thought she was special. "Anna asked if I could pick her up and then after the date, "drop her off at her best friend's place. "I didn't mind it at all. "Anna said she had movie night with her best friend. "I picked Anna up, and we went to the restaurant. "The date went better than expected.
"We vibed really well. "Anna also had drinks since I was the designated driver. "However, right at the end of the date, "Anna asked if I would drop her off at Josh's. "I was initially confused. "and then realized Josh was her guy best friend. "Anna instantly realized what she said. "and it sort of became awkward. "Anna apologized, "and I told Anna there was no reason to apologize. "I was just curious about who Josh was, so I asked Anna, "and Anna said he was her guy best friend. "and they occasionally have movie nights. "Anna said she wanted to be honest with me. "because she really liked me and saw a future with me,
"and she admitted they sometimes make out. "during these movie nights, "but it doesn't go further than that. "I appreciated Anna's honesty, "but this whole thing felt like a huge gut punch. "I was maybe in my feelings, "but I just couldn't do it anymore. "I told Anna to just ask Josh to pick her up, "and I paid for my portion of the dinner and left. "Anna looked really sad when I ended the date and left. "I felt sort of guilty about it later. "and called my sister to ask her. "if what I had done was right. "My sister said I shouldn't have left Anna. "stranded at the restaurant, "especially after Anna was really sweet and honest with me.
"I told my sister how I could be expected to take Anna. "for a really fancy dinner. "and then drop her off at her guy best friend's house. "where she would then make out with him. "I had enough self-respect left not to do that. "Was I the asshole?". - No. Your sister (groans). What? I mean, stranded? It's not like he left her in the middle of the woods. - Well, it sounds like it was-. - She's in a restaurant. - It sounds like it was like far away, I'm assuming. - I need to know the exact distance.
- I need to know because is it a restaurant like in the city. that they both live in? - He kind of makes it sound like it's out aways. - Yeah, which is pretty crazy for a first date. - Well, but they've been FaceTime dating. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Okay, okay, okay. Maybe-. - But like really like how far-. - Maybe he should have driven her. Maybe he should have driven her, and yeah, okay, stranded, I get that, but I'm also like, I don't know. - So we're not talking about... We are acknowledging, like most of us,
I think all of us here would probably not continue, or like I think I wouldn't continue seeing this person. 'cause I'd be like, I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. - I would definitely have more questions. - It's the conversation of, okay, he's not interested in seeing her more. That's clear. He did tell her he was gonna drive her home. Should he still drive her home? - Right, right, right. - That's kinda the conversation. 'cause she hasn't necessarily-. - Right. Okay. - Been a bad person to him, like she's being honest with him, and he's going,
"Oh, I'm not interested in this relationship.". - And I don't think he reacted. as cool and collected as he's saying. because he's like, "I left her there. "and I paid for my half." - My dinner. - And so it's like, oh, you know like he was deep. in his feelings. - I didn't realize that he said he would drive her home. I get that. I think it's like, okay, drive her to Josh's. and say, "See ya never.". - I think that's what I would probably do in this situation. I fear...
As is the case with every "Reddit Stories", I fear we might have a little bit of an unreliable narrator. on this one too. - Yeah, like what actually went down? - Because I'm just like, yeah, how did you react? How did this go down? How did she tell you about this? - I think Ian's right. I think he probably did not react well. - I don't think so either. And it's like, it was his choice 'cause he's like, "I wanna treat her to this fancy dinner.". So he goes there, and now he's making her pay for her portion. - Yeah. - Oh God. - And that's after her being like, "Hey, I'll be honest with you. "This has happened.". It has me wondering, I'm very curious about the wording of this.
because slight wording changes changes this entirely. If it's like, "Yeah, in the past we have done this,". and he's going, "Oh, so you do this all the time.". - Right. - And you do this and you're about to go do this right now. And it's like-. - I mean, I appreciate her honesty, but like... - I guess like-. - Pretty rough. I also am like, if I was her friend, I'd be like, you shouldn't expect to like be succeeding. in like seeing people. if you're telling them you're actively-. - Exactly. - Kind of seeing someone.
- Is she actively in the make out era with that friend? - That's what I'm a little-. - That's what I want to know. - That's what I'm curious about too. And that's where I'm like, what was her wording? - Yeah, maybe she was like, "Oh, this is someone that I used to, "but we don't do that anymore.". And maybe he just left that out. - [Shayne] Taken at-. - I think he probably did. - Taken at her word, taken at the word of this story, which I never fully trust a Reddit story, I'm like, okay, if she really did say that, that's wild. That's wild to admit that. That's wild to ask a date to drop you off at the place.
that you're saying this is happening. - Yeah. - I don't know what you're expecting to happen. My only assumption with this story is I'm like, I think there's little tweaks to this. - Yeah. - I'm guessing that... If I had to guess what the context was, that they probably used to make out or like-. - [Shayne] That's what I'm thinking. - Or like a couple times they got drunk. and made out in the past, but like then they agreed it's weird. - That's my assumption too. - And he just can't get that out of his head. 'cause he's like, "I'm driving her to her other boyfriend's house. "and blah, blah.". You know?
- Yeah. Maybe she's like, "Oh, I needed to fix. "I need something there, or my car is there.". Maybe it was something else. - Anyways... - I don't know. - Crazy. - So the verdict was not the asshole. The comments. "What did Anna think was going to happen?". Which I agree. As the story as it's written, I feel the same way. Someone else said, "Why on earth would you go on a date with someone. "and then ask them to drop you off. "at your friends with benefits and then expect them to want. "to continue a relationship with you? "What planet are you living on? "Have my cake and eat it too land?". - Oh. - Someone else said,
"Kudos for the maturity on both their parts, but girl, what? "Thanks for dinner. "It was great. You're great. "Now I'm going over for a movie night. "with a guy I might make out with. "Can you drop me off? "Huh?". I completely agree, if that is what she's saying. - If that, yeah. - If that's what she's saying, which-. - Given his story, sure, I agree. But I don't think that's-. - I just have a hard... I mean, look, there are people out there. that would do that, right? The world's filled with every kind of person. They exist. - Right. - I'm having a hard time believing it.
But update. - Yay! - "Hey everyone, just a quick update. "I appreciate all the comments. "and the different opinions on my previous post. "However, at the end of the day, the reason I posted it was. "because I felt guilty about what I did, "and I agreed more with the comments stating. "what I did was wrong. "Also, my sister has never once given me bad advice in life, "and I think her assessment was right this time too. "Since I left Anna at the restaurant last week, "she texted me a couple of times, "but I just ignored those messages. "I opened the messages a couple hours ago. "and I was sort of surprised.
"Instead of lashing out at me, she just apologized again. "and said she was willing to stop seeing Josh. "if it meant we could continue our relationship. "She said after the dinner, she just took an Uber back home. "and didn't go to Josh's. "I texted Anna that there was no reason to apologize. "and I shouldn't have left her stranded at the restaurant, "and I should have also paid for her meal. "since I was the one who invited her. "to the expensive restaurant. "I asked Anna for her Venmo, "but Anna said she didn't care about the money. "and asked if we could continue our relationship. "However, I didn't have the same feelings for Anna anymore, "so I texted Anna upfront.
"that I don't think we're compatible. "and I don't want to continue this. "We chatted a bit more, "and Anna was very respectful of my decision. "but admitted she was sad. "I too admitted it was tough, but it's best for everyone. "that this doesn't continue further. "That was the final text, "and I definitely think there are valuable lessons learned. "for this entire thing. "Thank you all for your input.". That has me now believing that this was all legit. - Okay, maybe he is a hero. (crew laughs). - Look, because he's-.
- Sad. - Because he's given this update going, "Yeah, I was wrong. "I should have done this, whatever,". I'm like, oh, she really probably did say that. - Definitely. - And that is the situation, which is wild, but hey. - I'm also like, I'm so done with people saying, "No need to apologize," when clearly they were hurt. Like, why can't we just be upfront about how we feel like? - Fair. - No need to apologize. No need to apologize. - I think that's become the common saying. I think that's become the common saying of being like, "It's all right.".
- I don't like it. (Ian laughs). - No, I think that's a really good point. - You know what I'm saying? - Yeah, just be like, "Thank you for apologizing to me.". - It's like when someone's trying to apologize, like, "No, no, no, no, no need to apologize.". It's like, let me. - Let me (beep) apologize, dude. - Let me apologize to you, bro. - Let me apologize. Okay, well, I mean, that's a good update. - I guess. I still, I'd like them to get together. - Me too. - [Shayne] I know. It is sad. - 'Cause he said they had good chemistry, so it's like, get over it, dude. - Like, move on. - Yeah. - I mean, it's a good update in that they both are okay. and they feel good. - Yeah, sure.
- And it's all all right. I mean, he was saying he just doesn't have feelings. for her now. - Already no feelings? - I know. That's the thing where I'm like, bro, get over it. You guys had like good chemistry or whatever on your date. She said she's gonna end things. with the friends with benefits. Say, "All right, cool.". You know, date number two. Just like, you know, get over yourself. - That's true. It's so early on. - I think he was embarrassed. - Yeah. - Yeah. There's a lot of elements going on right now. - Yeah. No need to apologize though. - Yeah, yeah.
But don't, don't, don't apologize. - Don't. - I'll never apologize to you guys. - Oh. - Oh. - [Shayne] Good. - So you don't ever need to... - [Shayne] That's good to know. - That's great. - Our next story. - I also own you both. - [Shayne] Oh, okay. - And I love that. - Yeah. And that's why I don't need to apologize. - And I said I like that. - Our next story comes from Am I The Asshole. "Am I the asshole for having second thoughts. "about marrying my fiance after a drunk comment?". - Ooh. - [Shayne] Classic. - Real. - Real. This is-. - You tell the truth when you're drinking. - Oof.
Oh no. - What is it? Drunk words are sober thoughts or whatever. - That's right. No, that's right. - Yeah. - This is a 30-year-old woman. and she's writing about her 27-year-old husband. - Got it. Okay. - "Not sure why I'm even here. "Guess I'm still trying to process what my, 27-year-old man, "what my fiance drunkenly admitted to me. "For context, my fiance, who I'll refer to as Alex, "and I have been together for just under two years. "and got engaged in December. "Everything has been a blast since the day we met, "and we keep surprising each other.
"with just how awesome of a couple we can be. "Last night we had a special date night. "for New Year's planned. "where we were dressed up like bowlers from the 1970s. "and bowled our asses off for a few frames. "until we finally decided on a winner.". (Amanda laughs). - I don't know why this is so funny. - It's pretty funny. - Wait, how did he describe their relationship? - A blast. - [Shayne] A blast. - Always a blast. - [Shayne] It's always blast. - That sounds exhausting. - [Amanda] Yeah. - They go to Disneyland. They go to Disney World all the time. - Give me some like boring times with a relationship. - Totally. "During the five games,
"we ended up drinking two of those beer towers, "about seven beers each altogether. "He's not a big drinker, so he was a little more than tipsy. "when we decided to call it a night and head home. "We live really close by, "so we walked to and from the bowling alley. "since we figured we were going to be drinking. "On that 15 minute walk home, "he was doing the usual mushy, 'I love you,'. "and other cute little things he tells me while giggling. "Things took a bit of a turn. "when he started talking about how much he enjoys our sex.". - Okay. - "He's always told me that we have amazing sex.
"and that he can't get enough, "but in his drunken state, he told me something different. "'You're the third best that I've ever had.'". - Ooh! - What a blast. - Not even runner up. - And they're dressed as bowlers? (Ian laughs). Yes! This is terrible. This is terrible! - Third. Hey, you know, that's still podium. It's still podium. - That sucks. Two beer towers. - Still placed. - Yeah.
(Amanda laughs). - "I stopped walking for a second. "and just stared at him in disbelief. "Alex just looks at me, giggles again, and kisses me. "Thinking he was just saying that on purpose. "to agitate me a bit like he does but not really mean it, "I laugh it off and we keep walking. "Once we get home and sit on our front porch, "he brings it back up. "'I really do mean it though, babe. "'You're amazing, but I have had better before you.'". - Ooh! Buddy, shut up. - He got away with it. If he would've just shut his mouth-.
- Shut up. - After the first one. - "I was as confused as I was mad, embarrassed, "and offended all at the same time. "I asked him what the hell he was saying to me. "and if he was being serious. "He started crying and told me that he had a one night stand. "before he met me with some woman. "that was like a sex goddess. "He also mentioned a past fling with a guy. "when they were both teenagers and experimenting with drugs. "Both of these confessions took me completely off guard. "because he never in our time together mentioned anything. "about being bicurious or anything like that,
"let alone promiscuous sex. "My commitment to Alex is starting to change now though, "and I haven't been able to look at him all day. "I'm having second thoughts. "about following through with a marriage. "if he'll always think of me as a third place prize. "Even if I did think there was something about Alex. "that wasn't as good as a past relationship, "I wouldn't openly tell him that I thought he wasn't as hot, "handsome, has a small dick, et cetera.". - Oh. - "That just seems like kind of mean. "and feels a little malicious or petty. "Am I the asshole for reconsidering the engagement?".
- She's like, "I wasn't gonna tell you. "that you have a small dick. "But you do.". - It's actually the third smallest dick I've ever-. - I've ever seen. - At first I'm like, there's no way this guy actually said all this, but then I'm like-. - Yeah, he did. - You get eight beers deep... - Yeah. - Yeah, he did. - The truths are coming out. - And he's wanted to say it for a long time. - He's been waiting. - There's nothing that Samuel Adams won't get outta ya. - Sam summer. Honey. Sam summer. - Everything comes out at Sam summer.
- Stop the clock. You got oysters and Sam summer. Are you (beep) kidding me? You're getting super brown during the summer. - It's Sam summer. And there's no secrets at Sam Summer. - Nope. Sam summer. - Okay. - Whoa. - No, you can't recover from that. You simply cannot. - She just either has to forgive, move on, or that's it. - Which it's like, how do you move on from that? 'Cause mind you, not only being told third best,
she also was like, I had no idea that he was also bicurious. Like, that's also a huge bombshell. And it's not that there's a problem with it, it's that it's like, do I know you? - Here's the deal though, I think, I feel like... Okay, yeah, if she can't move on from that, then that can't happen. But if she can, I think your relationship, like your sex relationship constantly changes all the time. - Sure. - So she's not always gonna be third. Maybe. I mean, I don't know, maybe she is. But like-.
- I mean, it was a sex goddess that was number two. - That's so true. Why did he say that? - I know. - He really... Ooh. He got too comfy. - Way too comfy. - I'm glad that he admitted what he wanted to say. like before they got married, not like on their wedding night where he is like, "You're the third best. "Love ya. "Glad we did this.". Do you know what I mean? - Mm-hmm. - I don't know. - I just... - This is up to her if she can. - I mean, like he very much wanted to tell her. - Yes. - If like he felt like it didn't sink in.
the first time he said it. and then decided to bring it back around. Like, I guess maybe this is something that he was like... It's probably something that he's been wanting to tell her, but he was afraid to tell her. - [Amanda] Yeah. - Like... - Yeah. - Probably his experiences with men, he was probably ashamed of that in some way. - Yeah. - And then this other person. that he's probably thought about. since they got together, like comparing. - He just didn't need. to say third. - Yeah. Yeah. - He didn't need to. This isn't the Olympics.
Like, you don't need to do that. - Yeah. - You only tell people when they're number one, and even if they're not, you lie. - Exactly. - No, you're the best. - I also think he's not... - [Amanda] You're the best. - I think this is a very clouded statement. because he's referring to one, an experience he had on drugs. when he was a teenager. That's absolutely, it's a distant memory. - Yep. - It gets clouded by like, oh, the past, you kind of think of it differently. - Yep. - Sure. - And same with this one night stand. He's talking about single instances. - [Amanda] Right.
- And single instances in life can have this different-. - And a one night stand-. - Feeling excitement to it, whereas he's not referring, like... This is a partner he's had for years. and that's a very different thing. I just think he's... I just think there's a lot-. - He needed to process it, - But it tells me there's a lot going on. internally with him. And that's why if I was her, I would be reconsidering it. because I'd be going, "I actually don't think I know you. "and I think you're working through a lot, "and I don't love that you think of it this way.". - See, I would be like, "All right, great.
"Starting tomorrow after we eat hangover food, "I wanna hear all about it.". I would wanna like go over everything. - I would probably, I would-. - Before I make any decisions. - I'd probably be the same way out of just, I would need to know. - Yeah. Yeah. - I would need to know. Even if I was still certain that I'd be calling it off, I would need to know first. - Yeah. 100%. - I'd wanna talk it all out. The verdict was not the asshole. Comments. "Not the asshole. "Saying it once was a slip, twice was deliberate.". - True.
- Someone said, "Not the asshole. "There is absolutely zero situation, joking or not, "where I would ever say this to my wife ever.". Lastly, someone said, "You're not the asshole for having second thoughts. "What he said was hurtful and unnecessary, "even if he was drunk. "It's okay to take time to process this. "and decide if you can move past it together.". - He was in a bowler outfit. - He was in a bowler outfit when he said this. - And they had a good night. They had a blast. - Maybe just one beer tower next time. Maybe just one. - Just one. - Literally just one. I will say though,
when you're like in the beginning of a relationship. and you have those drinking nights, you do start to say shit. I've never ever experienced that. But like you do say shit where it's like, "What'd you just say?". (everyone laughs). Where it's like, "Huh?". So just be careful next time. One beer tower. - One beer tower. - Not everybody drinks. and not everybody, you know, is into it, but for those who do, I do feel like those nights. where you do get drunk with your partner. are kind of like a test 'cause it's like,
all right, we've got the truth serum in. - Yep. - What are we saying to each other? How are we treating each other? - The bumpers are coming down. - Nice! - It is kind of a test 'cause once you get past it, it's like, all right, anything we would've aired, we probably would've aired it out. - Right. Strike. - Yep. - Update. - Split. They might split. - They might split. - Ooh. All right, update. It's done. This is gonna be done. - Oh. - I don't know. - You don't know? You think there's a chance?
- I feel like all these Reddit ones, they like, "I cut it off.". I don't know. - The advice is always to cut it off, but not always the case. I mean, look, Disney World guy, they're going to Disney World. - Don't even get me... I blacked that out. The fact that you brought it up again. (everyone laughs). Splash Mountain. - I think they're gonna work it out. - I kind of agree. - I think it's over. - Okay. - Okay. "So Alex tried to apologize. "The morning after we went out, "he pretended everything was okay. "and was as sweet with me as usual, "but I was short with him.
"and ignored his texts all day leaving for work. "When we both got home in the evening, "I still couldn't even look at him, "and so he asked me what was wrong, and I told him. "Apparently he hardly remembers a thing. "after we finished bowling. "He recalls walking home. "and saying some things he felt embarrassed about, "and then sitting outside and cuddling with me on the porch. "I told him exactly what I remember him saying, "and he looked mortified. "He apologized profusely. "and told me I'm the only person he slept with. "and ever cared this much about. "But I told him he'd humiliated me.
"and made me feel like I was the problem. "and needed some time apart. "So he volunteered to go stay with his brother. "to give me some space. "He since spent the rest of the evening. "and today trying to make it right, leaving voicemails. "and texting that he really didn't mean to hurt me, "and that he was drunk and stupid. "He kept reiterating that I'm the best thing. "that's happened to him. "and the sex he had before was meaningless. "and that you're my number one. "as far as anyone I've slept with that matters. "It just made me more mad. "Like, he's now lying to save face.
"and trying to manipulate me. "into feeling like I'm overreacting. "after making me feel like a lesser partner in bed. "I finally told him to stop. "and told him I didn't believe a word he said anymore. "and that even if he's being sincere, "nothing he says will undo the fact. "that deep down he'll always think of me. "as a consolation prize to some sex goddess. "and his male buddy. "I'm honestly also second guessing if he even likes women. "and am not ready to deal with being with someone. "who's questioning their sexuality. "He started crying again. "and said he just wanted to open up to me.
"since we've never had the conversation. "about previous partners, "and in his drunk state, he thought we were at that point. "where we could have honest conversations, "but regrets the timing and letting it slip while drunk. "He said he'd move out and leave me alone, "but hopes I won't share what he told me with my family. "and mutual friends, which I agreed to. "I don't feel bad about ending things. "He clearly didn't think before speaking. "and now he's just trying to patch it up. "and minimize it as a mistake. "and attempt at honest conversation. "when I know he's just trying to lower my self-esteem.
"and make me feel like I need to turn into a sex goddess. "in bed." - Nope. - [Shayne] "Or be more like a man.". - Oh my god. - "I've realized my self worth. "and I'm no one's bronze medal. "I appreciate all the comments. "and kind words on the last post helping me realize this.". - Okay. - Okay. Yikes. - Girl, my god. - I think a lot of this is off, but I think she's going through a lot. as she's writing this post. - [Ian] Yeah. - But I do think she's missing the mark on a lot of it. - 100%. - All of it. He tried to share something super vulnerable.
He (beep) up with the third place. And I think it's really, really painful, but I think in order to marry someone, your conversations are just gonna get harder. And you have to kind of take your insecurity and fear. and anxiety about sex and all these things out of it. and just be like, okay, we're two human beings. This sucks right now, but is the love and respect still there? And I just, I mean, if that broke them up, I don't know. I mean, their marriage wouldn't have lasted.
- 'Cause like the things that he was saying to her, like, I mean, obviously I'm not in this relationship, but I believe the things that he was saying. I mean, there's certain things he shouldn't have said. and saying like, "But you're like the best sex that is meaningful.". It's like, bro, like let's just not go there. - Stop. Yeah. - Let's just get past that point. - I agree with her in the sense of like, that's only gonna make you more mad. Like, don't do that. - No, but that's like dumb guy shit. - [Shayne] Totally. - Like, we've all said dumb guy things like that before, at least I know I have.
Where it's just like, yeah, there just comes a point. where you just shut up. - [Amanda] Yeah. - But I think, yeah, her turning around and being like, "I guess I'm not like-". - Yeah. - "I guess I'm not a sex goddess. "or I'm not enough of a man.". It's like, bro, you are missing the mark so bad. - Yeah, I... I predict that months from now, she'll look at some of those things she's written. and been like, okay, that was not true. Like, her being like, "Oh, he wants me to be more like a man.".
I'm like, okay, slow down. - That's not what he said. And also, like you promised you wouldn't tell your family. and friends, you just did a full Reddit post on it. Like, you're not being respectful. - I guess the argument is that this is anonymous, but it does run the risk always of people knowing. - I don't know. I think she missed out on something. that could have been good for their relationship. I don't know. I'm not saying everyone has to accept everyone's flaws, but at least give it a chance to kind of dig into like, okay, clearly you waited till we were wasted to tell me.
Clearly you were afraid to tell me. And he had rightfully so. So it's like, I don't know. I just think people need to dig in a little bit more. before they just call it quits. - But I also do agree with, you kind of said it earlier is like, this did break them up, which means are they compatible? - Right. - You know, this did break them up. There are people out there, there's a version of this where this happens. and it's like they do talk it out. and it makes them stronger because they were compatible. - Right. - They saw eye to eye on things.
- [Amanda] Yeah. - And I also agreed, I think it's important to go back what you said earlier. is like people's sexual relationships. will change and evolve. - Yep. - It's not like, oh yeah, you're the third best ever. It's like viewing sex as like, that's-. - You 24/7. - That's you always and that's what it is. It's like no, sex is communication. - Yes. - That is something that will change. And if you're with the right person. that you're compatible with, it will only get better. - Exactly. - 'Cause it's about communication. and talking with each other and understanding each other.
- Totally. - It seems like they both have growing in that realm. - Yeah. - And he also, frankly, does sound like there's a lot. that he needs to acknowledge and figure out. She the same way. That's kinda why I was not confident this was gonna last. - You were right. - Because I was just like, I don't think they sound compatible. - [Ian] Yeah. - This just sounds like too big of a thing. for them to handle. Maybe in a couple years if they really work on themselves, it's something that they will come back around.
and be fine with. - Yeah. I think it's very hard when you tell something. about yourself that's really personal. And I get that he said third, but like the other person's response is only like, "Well, I guess I'm not, well I guess...". It's really hard to communicate once it gets to that place. - Yeah. She was so hurt. - Rightfully so. - Rightfully so. - I get it. But take some, I don't know, take some time. But listen, you can't be in everyone's relationship. You don't know. You don't know what's going on.
- Oh, totally. And this is one of those heartbreaking ones. that is really devastating and really like, man, I don't know what I would say. to either of these people, you know, if I was talking to them. - I just think marriage is like, you can't just be like, "I'm out.". - Oh, for sure. - You (beep) like... This is the person that you chose to be with, and you kind of have to give them the benefit of the doubt. - I agree. But I also think if in her head she's immediately saying, "There's no way I'm ever gonna get over this.".
- Right. - I'm also like, all right. - That's true. - But a marriage is truly being with someone. where you're like, "I will do everything I can to make this work.". - Yes. - But once you hit that place of I can't make this work, it's dishonest to stay in it. - [Amanda] Right. Totally. - So it's this tough... But she immediately. I mean, if you are calling it quits that fast, you weren't right for each other. - Right. - Yeah. - That's how I view it at least. - Right. - I just don't think she's secure enough. to be in a relationship like that. - I mean, look, that's a (beep) devastating thing to hear.
- I don't think either of them are secure enough. to be in this relationship right now. - A little twinge of biphobia too, I'm just gonna say. - [Shayne] Totally. - Just gonna say it. The biphobia is real. - Totally. - For sure. - Agreed. - That's what I mean, like as she's writing this, I can tell, I'm like, tears are streaming as you're typing this. - Yeah. - So I'm curious, 'cause this was written very recently, I'm curious if there'll be an update eventually. Kinda like a cooled down version of it.
But we'll see. - Update. She had sex with two people that were better than him. Now he's number three. - Whoa. - Ha! How does it feel? - She's never been back to the bowling lane since. - She got guys bowling strikes all up in that. (everyone laughs). Sorry. - No, it's perfect. - Split. - Split. (Ian laughs). - She's waxing balls left and right. - He could keep going. You don't have to let him.
- Something about like the holes. I don't know. - Okay, here we go. - You know what- - All right. - Shoes. - You're done. - Just get me outta here. - Our next story. "Am I the asshole for flirting with 19-year-old girls. "and defending myself when being called a predator?". - How old are you, bro? - Yeah, how old, bro? - Say how old you are, bro. - Bro. - "I'm 31.". - Yep! (everyone laughs). - "And recently ended a long-term relationship.
"I was broken. "I recently went to this cool restaurant/bar downtown. "with one of my buddies to have a good time. "Anyone of any age can come in. "While we were there, there was a girl. "who was celebrating her 19th birthday. "They sang Happy Birthday, "and they were allowed an outside cake with 19 on it. "The birthday girl was pretty, "so I wanted to go chat her up. "Her friends were super cute too. "My buddy told me to leave them alone. "and that they looked like babies. "He didn't want to go over at first, "but since the breakup, "every other woman but my ex has been invisible,
"so he went to wingman with me. "We walked over and wished her a happy birthday. "I thought things were going well, "and the women were laughing. "Then all of a sudden, one of the girls snaps at me. "to 'take a (beep) hint, R. Kelly.'". - Oh! Damn. - "I was taken aback and just said, 'Excuse me?'. "She said to read the room and that they were uncomfortable. "Another asked us to go away. "I was going to go, "but I was really bothered by the R. Kelly comment.". - Oh no. He stuck around? - "I said it's (beep)... "I said it's (beep) up to call me a predator.
"when we were all adults here. "My buddy wanted to leave, but I stood my ground. "The birthday woman said that it didn't matter. "It's weird for someone my age to hit on them, "especially when they make it obvious. "that they're uncomfortable. "I apologized for making them uncomfortable, "but that didn't give them the right to call me a predator. "One of the women said it was a personal problem. "I said that adults are allowed to hit on other adults. "It's not a crime. "One woman just asked why I was still standing there. "and yelled at me to go away.". - Yes. - "I was pissed off.
"And when I left, their entire table was singing 'Ignition'. "and laughing their asses off. "I was furious and humiliated. "When we sat back down, I was seething. "My buddy said that it was my fault for not seeing the signs. "that they were uncomfortable. "To him, it was obvious. "So he wanted to go. "He called me delusional. "I pointed out that they were laughing, "and he said it was just uncomfortable laughter. "I told him that I had every right to be mad. "about being called a predator when they were all 18 to 19. "It's a horrible accusation to make. "My ex was six years older than me.
"He said that they weren't calling me a predator, "just weird for going for teens. "He said it was wrong of them to sing after me. "and that was bullying, "but I should have left long before that. "I felt like he should have stuck up for me. "Was I wrong for sticking up for me. "or for hitting on them in the first place? "I was respectful and not creepy at all too. "Edit, for the record, I do date women my age and older. "This was the first time I approached much younger women.". - I can't. This is exactly the type of guy who asks you out and you go, "Oh, no, thank you," and then they're like,
"The fuck?" - Bitch! What the (beep)? - You're a bitch! And then they're like, "Excuse me, can you go?". And it's like, "Ah, no, I'm pissed.". And then they stay. Dude! - That's the most insane thing, like where it was like the moment they were like, "Take a hint. "Like, we don't want you here.". And then you stay after that? - I know, man. - It's 'cause he's embarrassed and his pride-. - Get out the clown makeup. - Made him stay. - It's wild. - Even his friend! - It's also like they're celebrating a birthday.
- [Ian] Yeah. - Even if the cake said 30, I'd be like, oh, well I'm not gonna go up and bother them. - They're busy. - They're celebrating a birthday right now. Like, don't bother them. - No. He was like, "I deserve to have this.". - Yeah. - Every woman's been invisible to me, so I deserve to go up to these, you know, ladies and talk to them. It's like, that's where you're wrong. It is not your God-given right to have any woman go, "Yes?". Like, no, bro. Like, her friends were ballsy as hell.
Like, ballsy. R. Kelly's a little much. - And it definitely sounded like... (Shayne laughs). And the whole like, they were laughing and everything. It was like, oh no, they were doing the kind of like awkward laugh. of like trying to diffuse a situation. - But look, man, he also entered the gladiator arena. of people who are gonna like insult you better than anyone. 18 and 19-year-olds. - 19. You're dead. - Devastating. - Born and raised on TikTok. - Roasted.
- They're singing "Ignition" at you. - Roasted. - I didn't even know 19-year-olds knew "Ignition". - They know the remix to "Ignition". - Oh. - Yeah. (everyone laughs). Yeah, they do. You can't hide from that. - I (beep) killed Eric with that one. (laughs). - So good. No, they watch the documentaries. They know exactly what's going on. - Yeah. No. - They're like deep in the Me Too movement. - There's no context. where I'm gonna willingly talk to teenagers. 'cause I'm scared of them.
'Cause they're gonna make fun of me. - They will rip you apart. - They're gonna make fun of you. - They're gonna make fun of me, and it's gonna hurt. It's that John Mulaney joke of like, there's nobody in the world. who can like find your weakness like a teenager. - Exactly. - Totally. - Also, it's like your own friend was like, "Bro, that was your fault.". - Yeah, your friend is like, "You're delusional.". - And he is like, "No, I'm gonna stay.". - He's actually truly being your wingman right now. by telling you you're being delusional and being creepy. - [Amanda] Exactly. - He's being your wingman in that way. - [Ian] Yeah. - Sometimes a wingman has to do that.
- Yeah. - Emily makes a great point. He referred to her as the birthday woman-. - Yeah. - In this post. Which he definitely, I know for, you know that he was typing out. and he wrote "birthday girl.". - [Amanda] Woman. - Back, back, back, back, back, back. Birthday woman. - Probably like, "Hey, birthday girl, nice cake.". - It's giving Matt Gaetz. - Yep. (Ian laughs). This guy really puts the Reddit in predator. - Oh! - Nice! That's a strike. - Thanks. - Bogey.
- Edit. Okay. Verdict, asshole. Not surprising. There's an edit that he wrote. - He's like, "Wait, hold on, hold on.". - "All right, guys, I get it. "I let my pride get in the way of things here. "Can't fix it. "Will do better next time.". - Okay. Do better. - Let's see what these comments are. - That's great, - 'Cause you know. he's about to be ripped apart. "You're the asshole for being creepy, not taking a hint, "and arguing about it to women who asked you to leave. "You're upset about being called a predator, "but don't seem to care that your inappropriate behavior. "made a group of women in public feel uncomfortable.".
Someone else said, "He is extra you're the asshole. "for standing his ground when they asked him to leave. "What did he think would happen? "They would admire his persistence. "and realize they were wrong all along. "and he was actually a nice guy. "who they should all sleep with?". Someone else said, "You're the asshole. "The fact that both the girls and your friend. "easily recognized that it was creepy to hit on her. "should tell you that it wasn't okay.". - Okay. - He wrote this all out thinking he was right. - It is kind of funny imagining him. like winning them over in an argument.
and then be like (claps). - Yeah. - Yeah! - I did it. And they're like, "Okay, can you go now?". - Update. - Stop. - They're dating now. Stop. - Update. - What's that face? What does that mean? - What's that face? - What does that mean, Shayne? - It's not his update. (Ian gasps). It's hers. - Yes! - What? - Let's go! (crew laughs). - That was so cool. That was awesome.
- I call that the Messi. (everyone laughs). I don't know if he does that. - I'm the Lionel Messi of Reddit, basically. - God. - I don't know if he does that. I've never watched football. - Football. - Our football fans watching are pissed off. Or they're like, hey-. - Does Messi do the wings? - Ian knows ball. - Does Messi do the wings when he scores? I don't know. - I don't know if he does. - I think they all kind of do the wings. You run and you do the slide. - Yeah, you do the slide. Oh, the slide with the wings. - And you slide-. - That's a good move. That's a Messi. - Anyways. - I can't do that on this, on this...
What do you call this material? - [Amanda] This is-. - [Ian] Jute. - [Amanda] Jute. - Yeah. I can't do-. - I knew that. - I can't knee slide on jute. - Jute rug. Big thing. Big deal. - Was huge in the 2010s. - Yeah. - "Update from the 19-year-old girl.". - Get out of here. - "I've never had a Reddit account before, "but my journalism TA showed us it, "and sometimes I'll just check the front page for news. "Earlier I saw a post up there. "that basically described my birthday dinner. "like three weeks ago. "At first I didn't give a (beep),
"but now I just felt the need to clarify a few things, "even though I know most people called him an asshole. "Some people got angry about the R. Kelly comment. "and singing 'Ignition'. "Was it mean? Yes. "But I'm done being nice to creeps. "This was not a bar. "It was a bar and grill, but it was mainly a restaurant. "that just happened to serve drinks. "We were sitting near a family, "so we weren't in a setting where people go to get hit on. "We were minding our business. "and keeping in the corner booth.". - Ooh. - "He came and wished me a happy birthday.
"I said thanks and we all went back to our conversation. "I did appreciate being told happy birthday, "but he stuck around. "We laughed uncomfortably and went back to our conversation. "He stuck around and kept interrupting us. "Each time he said something, "we nodded and then turned our backs to him. "We said, 'Thank you. Bye,' a few times, "but he was still standing there talking to us. "His friend kept finding excuses to leave. "I was annoyed, uncomfortable, and disgusted, "but I gave him a respectful, 'Okay, have a good night.
"'Here's some cake for you to take home.'". - Oh. - "But he grabbed the cake and sat down in our booth.". - No. - No. - "He said the night's not over yet.". - Ew. - Predator! Behavior. - Brother, ew. - "Then my friend just snapped, "and if she didn't, I was going to. "When she called him R. Kelly, "she wasn't accusing him of being a pedo but a creep. "30-year-old guys who hit on us are creepy and disgust us. "Point blank period.
"We were nice the entire time, "and I even gave them a million hints and cake for the road. "His friend was even finding reasons for them to leave. "Then he had the audacity to stand there and fight us on it. "I told him that he was way too old for us. "and it was creepy from the start. "When he left, we started singing 'Ignition'. "among ourselves, not singing it after him. "It's a throwback that our parents put us on. "Instead of crying over our night being ruined by a creep, "we turned it into a fun moment with karaoke. "PS, when he asked us our age and gave us his,
"we became a million times more uncomfortable. "Guy was 30 trying to get with 18-year-olds. "at a birthday dinner. "We are used to old men bothering us and it's always gross. "To the if he wasn't ugly crowd, "he was a decent looking fit guy. "If I never met him, I'd set him up with my aunt. "But he was in his 30s and that is way too old. "This isn't porn. "And I haven't met a single girl desperate. "for a 30-year-old divorced dick. "Being called legal is demeaning. "Everything about it was sickening. "When he came over, announced his age, then asked us ours,
"I almost yacked. "It was like he was IDing us at a family restaurant. "(beep) outta here. "I'm tired of having to be polite to guys who are creepy. "and disrespectful.". Period. - Damn! Period. I would set you up with my aunt, bitch. - That was crazy. - What if he commented underneath it being like, "All right, so what's your aunt up to?". - Yeah. Literally. - How old's your aunt? 22? Great. (Shayne laughs). - I was gonna say, of course he left out the fact that, which most girls do, most women do,
they're like, "No, thank you. "Have a good night.". - Yeah. - No, thank you. Have a good night. Here's a piece of cake. Good night. Like, the amount of politeness that we have to (beep) do, and then you still... I love this 19-year-old. She just gave it to him. Like, damn! - She gave him cake. - A corner booth? - Well, 'cause when he said, "I went to a bar and all ages are there,". I was like, I don't think that's how bars usually work. It was a (beep) Applebee's.
- You're telegraphing it. - This is so good. - [Ian] Insane. - He sat down and said, "The night's not over yet.". - Which is very scary. - Extremely scary. I mean, he's lucky they didn't like call the staff on him. - Right. - Like, they were being so nice to him. - Yeah. Yeah 'cause you're just trying to deescalate. a weird situation. - Which I know is like, 'cause they're terrified of him. - And clearly like he, yeah. - Set you up with my aunt.
I love these girls. I'm loving it. - Oh. Brutal. - [Ian] That's awesome. - You know he saw this too. - And he's like, "Aunt.". (everyone laughs). - Aunt. - Aunt. And he's like, "She said I was fit, "so like clearly she was into me, you know?". - Oh yeah. You said I was fit. - Yeah. Clearly she thought I was hot, so it's just like she was probably embarrassed. in front of her friends. - Yeah. - Yeah. Totally. - It is crazy though that he saw the, that he like eagle eyed the 19 on the cake.
and was like, "Let's go.". - Which meant some of them were 18. - Yes. No, and I mean, I feel like my point was proven. That final paragraph devastating. She annihilated him. - Oh, 100%. - If he read this, he's dust. - And I love that she said, "My journalist TA.". Honey, she's in school. Get your ass home. - And she's new to college. - Divorced dick. Oh, I love it. - Brutal. All right, our next one. I don't know if anything can beat that one.
- These are so good, by the way. - That was savage. - And we're going to Disney World after this. - No. Oh yeah, okay, I can do it. My neck's fine. (everyone laughs). - Oh wait. - Oh wait. That's crazy. I got it. - Okay. Our next story. This comes from Relationship Advice. "Am I the asshole for breaking up with my girlfriend. "because of a 'caught cheating' prank?". - Remember those shows? Caught cheating? - Oh, "Cheaters"? "Cheaters"? Is that what it's called? - I think it's called "Cheaters".
- A lot of our audience probably has no idea what that is. - I think the show ended when he got stabbed. - Oh yeah, I think so. - Yeah. - We call that a throwback just like "Ignition". - Yeah. - Yeah. "I, a 26-year-old man, broke up with my girlfriend, "25-year-old woman, of two years. "because of something that happened recently. "and now my friends are saying I massively overreacted.". - If this was all done for a TikTok, I'm gonna be livid. - You know it was. "So a few days ago, my girlfriend and a close mutual friend. "decided to play a prank on me. "The prank was that they filmed a scenario.
"where I caught them in bed together. "pretending they were hooking up. "They set up a hidden camera in the bedroom. "And when I walked in, I saw him in just boxers. "and my girlfriend in a bra and panties. "straddling him acting like they were mid hookup. "To make it more realistic, they even made some noises. "and tried to act like it was happening for real. "I was shocked, furious, and immediately confronted them. "as I thought it was real at first, like an actual betrayal. "And then I walked out of the room. "and started leaving the house. "when they followed me screaming, 'It was just a prank,'.
"and then showed me the video they'd been recording. "To be honest, I felt completely betrayed, "not just by the idea of the prank, "but also because of how they had gotten undressed. "to film it. "I know it's meant to be funny to some people, "but for me it felt disrespectful and I was hurt. "The whole thing felt like a violation of trust, "even though I know they weren't actually cheating. "I told her I couldn't be in a relationship with someone. "who would do something like that. "And I ended things right there. "She's devastated, "and our friends have been telling me I overreacted.
"They think it was just a harmless prank. "and I should have taken it better. "But I can't shake the feeling. "that it crossed a line for me, "especially with how intimate and uncomfortable it felt. "to see them in that situation even if it wasn't real. "Now I'm left wondering if I made the right decision. "I'm starting to doubt myself. "because everyone else seems to think I blew it. "out of proportion.". - What benefit does she get from doing that prank? - I mean-. - The views, bro. - There's a lot of people who do a lot of stuff. on social media where I ask that question. - I don't think he's overreacting.
- No. My god, no. - No. - Like, if you were in that relationship. and they were like simulating sex as a joke... - They're like, "That's a prank. Ha ha.". - That's weird. - But you still straddled that person half naked. who's my friend. - It reminds me of a question. that gets asked around this office a lot, which is what is a prank? And it's kind of like trippy when you think about like-. - Some people don't know. - What is a prank? - What is a prank? - What is a prank? And to me, a prank is supposed to be kind of like a joke.
that you pull on someone that does give them a rush. of some emotion, but it's ultimately supposed to end. in them laughing and it's supposed to be fun. for the person you're pranking. If the person you prank doesn't like the prank, then it wasn't a prank. - It wasn't a prank. - You actually just (beep) with them in a way that-. - You just (beep) with them. - And I think you should know the person you're pranking. well enough to know what's gonna work and what's not. Because there are videos of people pulling off pranks. on people where the person laughs their ass off. - Yeah. - And those are awesome, right? - Those are fun.
I mean like "Punked" and stuff, like sometimes they crossed the line a lot. - "Punked" crossed the line, but I think all of them knew. - I think so too. - The only ones that get a pass for me, the mean pranks are the Japanese ones. - Those are hilarious, unfortunately. - Like, they get in the porta-potty. and all the walls go down. - It launches 'em out. - Yeah, launches them onto the lake. and they're like holding onto the porta-potty. - There's ones where they would get into a porta-potty. and it would like flip backward. and they're at the top of a ski slope. and they're just going down.
- Wait, I need to see this. - Oh, they're great. - Japanese prank shows are ruthless. - Yeah. - But here's the thing with those, that has nothing to do with their partner having sex. with their best friends. - You know what? Fair. - Going down a ski mountain, fine. It didn't involve their whole (beep) life. - Yeah, but their pants are down. - Like, and they go down to the bottom of the ski mountain. and the wife and the best friend are like, "Oh, and also we're here (beep).". - Wait, I'm sorry. It has me thinking of my all time favorite, this is old school, where they would wait. till people were walking down an alley by themselves.
and they would have a crowd of people. like sprint the opposite way screaming. and the people would always be like, and they would start running too. It was awesome. - Yeah. - That's funny. - But also devastating. - Again, your wife and your best friend are not (beep). - Yeah, this is different. - Again. - I also think people need to know, and we say this as people who make content on YouTube, you're gonna try to make a prank and you're gonna film it, know that most of the people who do prank content on YouTube.
that it's all fake. The person they're pranking knows and it's all fake. - So fake. Unless they're scaring them. Those are my favorite. when they're like coming around the corner. and they're scaring them a lot. - Like "Scare Tactics"? - Yeah. Well... - That shit was-. - That shit was (beep) up. - Unfortunately I was entertained by that. - Yeah, me too. - But it's wrong. (laughs). - Cheating pranks like go all the way back. to like the prank sort of golden era on YouTube, which totally sucked.
But it was like, yeah, there was a lot of those cheating pranks. and it was obviously fake. - They were so fake. - Verdict, not the asshole. Comments. "Not the asshole. "How does your girlfriend of two years. "not know you well enough to know what you'd find funny? "Like, even if you prank all the time with each other, "she should know you and what you would find actually funny. "If you're not laughing, it's not actually a prank. "It's just them hurting you. "and then blaming you for being hurt.". OP responded saying, "Yep. I told her that. "She says she wanted to try something new and unexpected. "and didn't think I would feel so strongly about it.".
- What? - Well, you don't know your boyfriend that well. - No. - Someone else said, "So two adults who were comfortable enough. "being in their underwear together. "and assuming a sex position think you are overreacting?". OP responded, "I can't make it make sense either.". "You made the right decision. "Other people don't get to decide what sort of prank. "goes past your line for pranks. "If your ex-girlfriend really was devastated, "maybe she'll learn that trying to pull elaborate pranks. "can backfire on her. "and she won't do it to other people in the future.
"Not the asshole.". Update. - Yes. - Ooh. - "My ex-girlfriend was really upset. "with all the hate she received online. "and blamed me for painting her in a bad light. "I told her I did no such thing. "She just didn't like that she got called out. "on her behavior. "The mutual friend who is part of the prank. "is now also pissed off at me. "and saying I went way overboard. "I told them both to (beep) off. "and have blocked their numbers. "Our friends have since started taking this more seriously. "after reading some of the comments on here. "with a few taking my side and saying what my girlfriend.
"and the friend did was horrible. "Others still think this was all unnecessary. "and I should have just laughed it off and moved on.". No. - No. - No. - No. What they did was just, it was like, really? Like, why? It was just dumb and insensitive. And then also to be like, "How dare you make me look like an idiot?". It's like you made me look like an idiot. - Yeah. The whole point of the video that you were also filming. without my permission-. - Right.
- Was supposed to make me look, I was the focus of this video. I didn't know I was gonna be in. - Right. - That alone. Yeah. - I just can't stop picturing someone in a porta-potty. going down a ski slope and then having them have sex. (Shayne laughs). - At the end of the ski slope is his wife and some guy. - With divorce papers. - Were you tricked? - Oh, pranked! - Yeah, pranked. He's like, "What?". - With divorce papers and a DNA test. that shows that the son is not his. - Yeah, exactly. And he's like, "What son?". She's like, "Pranked.". (everyone laughs).
She just really goes too hard. - God dang. - Yeah, that's bad. He did the right thing. - He did the right thing. Our final story. This story was covered on "Two Hot Takes". on an episode that Courtney was in. - Ooh. - So Courtney's take is out there, and now it's time for our takes. - Ooh. Our takes. - It's time for three hot takes. - Ooh. Did you just call us all hot? - No, our takes are hot. - Oh. - Oh. - Sorry. - Sucks. We're all in our 30s. It's okay.
- Well, you're... Yeah. - I'm... (Shayne laughs). - I'm kidding. - And you're... Yeah. - No. (Shayne laughs). - 19? - Yeah, baby. Yeah, let's go. Let's run with that. Let's do it. - All right, our final story. "Am I the asshole for telling my fiance. "I don't want my Temu engagement ring?". - Ooh. - I don't know what that-. - Temu is a like, it's a...
- [Bailey] It's like Shein. - It's like a Shein. It's like an app or website. where you get really cheap stuff. - Oh. - Do you remember Wish? Wish.com? - Uh-uh. - Oh. - But it's just a site where you get really cheap-. - Okay, got it. - Imagine Amazon, but like 100 times shittier. - Yeah. Like Shein. - It's Shein. - Okay. - Okay. So this is a 27-year-old woman. "My fiance, a 29-year-old man, "proposed to me a few weeks ago. "It caught me completely by surprise, "but we've been together for three years. "and things have been going great,
"so I was really excited and said yes. "I really liked the ring when I first saw it. "And my friends and family all think it is stunning. "It's an oval cut with diamonds across the band. "I asked where he got it and he wouldn't tell me where, "but that he got a great deal on it. "I didn't think anything of it. "until yesterday when we were in bed. "and I asked him if it was diamond or moissanite, "mainly out of curiosity. "I don't have a preference by the way. "He said he didn't know and would have to look it up. "When I glanced over at his phone, he was in the Temu app. "I asked him if he got it from there, and he didn't respond.
"So I asked again and he responded with something like, "'Does it matter?'. "He left the room and ended up sleeping on the couch. "I spent all night so confused. "Today I decided to download the app and look up my ring. "and I found one that looks identical. "I found the exact ring, and it's listed at $38. "I am mad. "He makes good money around $200,000 a year, "and I feel like he could have shelled out some money. "for a ring better than the one on Temu. "Am I the asshole for telling him I don't want it?". - Ooh. This is tricky.
- I think... I think where the issue could come. is that's like costume jewelry. So I'm wondering if like that gold. or whatever is gonna start wearing off. - Yeah, turn her finger green. - Like a $30 ring, I don't think that's gonna last. - No. - So to me it's once again of like, he does not know his fiancee.
or he doesn't know his girlfriend, right? Because it clearly did matter to her to some degree. about like what the ring is. And there are tons of people. who don't have like fancy rings. - Yeah. - But it's like it's such an important thing. to have some thought put into it. - Well, you wear it every day. - Yeah, it doesn't have to be expensive. But like to have some meaning to it-. - Right. - Is important. But he just got it off a quick-. - The fact that he didn't know what the stone was, didn't like think about, oh, this is like a stone that has meaning to you or...
- [Ian] Yeah. - That's gonna turn her finger green. - I know people who have like silicone rings. or like wooden rings or all sorts of things. - Yeah. - But just something that has some meaning to it maybe. Clearly it's important to her is what I mean. 'Cause there are people who are like, "Oh, I don't give a shit what the ring is.". - Right. - But she's not one of those people. - I think his ego is hurt, but I think this does happen where the person is like, "Oh, I don't like my ring.". And the person who proposed is like, their ego's hurt for a little bit, and it can be a tricky space,
but I do think at the end of the day, marriage you have to work together on it. It's like, let's talk about what ring you do want. - Yeah. - At the end of the day. And also-. - 'Cause this is gonna be temporary. This ring is going to break. - Gonna turn her finger green. - Her finger's going green in like two weeks. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Definitely. - The verdict is not the asshole. Comments. "Not the asshole. "because that thing might turn your finger green.". - Hey, yeah. - "He's lucky that you don't have a sensitivity. "to fake metals like some do. "He makes good money, but bought a $38 ring. "Is he cheap with other things.
"where discount shopping isn't a new thing for him. "and he's just an all around penny pincher? "My first thought was did he not spend the money. "because he doesn't want/expect this to last.". OP said, "Yeah-". - Oh. - OP said, "Yeah, let me provide some more context. "Really he's never been overly frugal. "I'm probably more frugal than he is. "Neither of us are huge spenders, but we each make enough. "to not have to strictly budget or anything. "We have our own accounts and split rent equally. "I know he has at least $100,000.
"across his savings/investment accounts. "We go out for drinks a few times a week, "and we'll go to concerts together and whatnot frequently. "We travel a few times a year. "and stay in basic accommodations, ugh. "Like, our DoorDash the other night was $40. "My ring costs less than DoorDashing dinner.". - Yep. - I think he needed to talk to someone. and get advice on what to do. because I don't think he fully wrapped his head around. that this ring will turn her finger green.
And also, yeah, I don't know what he was thinking really. - But I'm now confused 'cause she's like, "He's not frugal. "We're not in a financial bind.". - Yeah. - This is confusing. - I kind of feel like he just saw it and was like-. - Oh, that's pretty. - I have two weeks until I have to propose to her. I could get this ring in a week. I don't know 'cause like... - That's the thing. I'm like, what were you thinking?
- 'Cause Temu also like, don't they like throw a bunch of shit at your face. and they're like, "Buy this. "Now buy this, now buy this.". - Yeah. - And I wonder if like, he just got served that ring. and was like-. - [Shayne] That's it. - Yeah, that'll work. - And he panicked. He's like, "Oh, $38, that's awesome. Here we go.". - [Shayne] $38. - And he knows he (beep) up because like he was so... He was like avoiding the question. Like, did you buy this on Temu? I'm gonna sleep on the couch. Like, he knew what he did. - Exactly. - But yeah, guys, don't buy costume jewelry.
for wedding rings. - And it doesn't need-. - It doesn't have to be expensive. - At all actually. When you wear something every single day. it needs to have wear and tear, but like, dude. - Update. "After reading responses from my first post. "on the Am I The Asshole subreddit, it got taken down, "I was freaking out a bit. "He came home while I was FaceTiming a friend about this. "I hung up with her. "and then talked to him for an hour or so. "He apologized for sleeping on the couch. "and that he needed time to think. "He doesn't see eye to eye with me. "on my concerns about the ring. "and says he did research and that it was highly rated.
"He says if the ring breaks, he will replace it, "but didn't say it'd be higher quality. "I have people messaging me that the ring could be harmful. "to my health and that Temu has horrible standards. "for their jewelry and labor issues, "so now I really don't wanna wear it. "He left and went to his brother's house. "Usually I'd go with him, but things are just tense. "Am I the asshole for telling him I still don't want it?". - No, you're not. - Update number two. - Oh my god. Yes. - "I'm literally just sitting here refreshing your comments, "trying to figure out what to do next.
"He texted to let me know he plans on staying. "at his brother's for the weekend and is taking Friday off. "It's not crazy abnormal. "since he's been watching football over there. "But I feel like he's avoiding me now. "I'm trying not to be pushy about the situation. "and I'll give him some space, "but ugh, now I'm just in my head about all of it. "and regretting my initial reaction. "It's just a dumb ring and maybe I've read into it too much. "The only other time we've had an argument like this, "it was resolved within a couple hours, "so I'm not used to this behavior from him.". Update number three.
- Yes. - Update machine over here. - "He came home this morning. "while I was in a work from home meeting. "These comments made my head spin all night. "I got like three hours of sleep, "so I admit I may be in the wrong. "for bringing up his finances, but I did. "Re, the gold digger rumors. "When we met, I was making more than him. "and often paying for his things. "His high paying job is a recent development. "I have my own money and don't need his. "I asked him what was going on, "if there was anything he needed to tell me, "if he was testing me by doing this.
"Well, that really set him off. "What kind of person do you think I am? "You think I'm a cheapskate, a liar? "You obviously think really poorly of me. "But still he never gave me a reason. "So I asked why he was deflecting every question. "to victimize himself and to avoid my questions. "He tried to leave again, so I tried deescalating. "and told him I see where he's coming from, "but I need to know if he still loves me. "He was immediately apologetic. "and still wants to get married. "He said I can just pick my ring out. "and buy it with my own money. "He said he's sick of talking about this.
"and it's water under the bridge now. "He's acting like his normal self again since this convo. "I hear him out there skipping around. "and humming to himself all happily, "and it's actually pissing me off. "Maybe I'm being dramatic, "but I don't think I can handle a marriage. "with someone like this.". - Honey, you're not being dramatic. This man is just... - No. - I think I know what can fix this relationship. - What? - Bowling night! - Bowling nights! - You get matching bowling outfits. - Two beer towers.
- [Shayne] Two beer towers. - Two beer towers. - And then when that goes wrong, you go to Disney World. - You go to Disney World. and you talk about your second best goddess sex times. - [Shayne] That's right. - He... No, you can't marry this guy. Like, what are we talking about? - [Shayne] Yeah. - You buy your own ring, - Just admit you (beep) up. and then work together on getting a better ring. It doesn't have to be, like, get over it. - If this is your future wife, don't you want her to be happy wearing... - No, he's focused on winning.
- Yeah. - Yeah. - Like... - Yeah. - Yeah. (everyone laughs). Yeah. - Yeah. Okay. - Thank you both for being here. - Whoa. No more updates? - No more updates. - Thank God. - There's nothing else to update on that. - Yeah. They're done. - They're done. I think they're done. - I think this was one of my favorite. "Reddit Stories" episodes because-. - Truly, yeah. - The stories were all bangers. They were so good. - [Shayne] These were some bangers. - Yeah. These are really good. - Yep. Pretty solid.
- [Ian] Very good. - And they'll also be solid. at "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories Live" on March 8th. - We're doing it live! - Live.smosh.com. - And we're gonna have a live audience. Those tickets are likely sold out by now. But you can go get tickets at live.smosh.com. and it'll be like you're there with us in person. Get your pancakes out, watch the live stream. It's gonna be a blast. So we'll see you there. And we'll also see you next Saturday as always. - Yay. - Bye! - Bye! - Bye!
