Parties Gone Wrong | Reading Reddit Stories

- Welcome back to Reddit Stories. of people who we cannot believe are real, yet they somehow are. Today, our guests are Ian and Tommy. So these stories are relatively like party theme. They take place before, during, or after a party. You guys, you guys have been to a party before, right? - We are party monsters. - I'm actually a party guy. - Yeah, I feel you are.

- Yeah. - In fact, the movie "Party Monster" was made about us. - Well, that's cool. I've been to a party. - Yeah. - Great. Are you a get-me-outta-here-after-a-few-hours kind of vibe? Or you just keep pushing through? - I genuinely really want, and I do sometimes have a really great time at parties. It just has to be the right vibe. I usually am very uncomfortable, but if the vibe is just right and I know. the right amount of people and the right people are there, I will have such a great time.

But I don't feel like I've ever been an asshole at a party. I don't feel like a party's ever gone super wrong . For me specifically. I've been at parties where shits gone wrong. - Where shits gone wrong. - Sure. - But I haven't been involved in it. - Interesting. - So these people, probably not the case. - We'll find out. - They're probably very much involved. - Let's get it started. - Let's do it. - First story. "Am I the asshole for leaving my girlfriend's birthday party. after an hour?". (all laughing). - Okay.

- Right off the bat, do we have thoughts? I mean, my initial take is obviously, it has to be an emergency. or something that he already told her. he would be leaving for. - Honestly, doesn't sound that bad to me. - Okay, let's see. Let's see. This is a 22-year-old man. "My girlfriend, who's 23, and I had been dating officially for four months, but we had been no-exclusively dating for about a year. prior to us making our relationship exclusive.

She had a birthday party last weekend, and it was disco themed. I'm not a fan of disco, but because I love my girlfriend, I went. I showed up with a couple of my friends. and after about an hour, we were all getting tired of the music and decided. we were gonna go out to the bars. and I told my girlfriend I would come back. to help her clean up. She asked me if I could stay and that it meant a lot to her, but I just wasn't feeling the music and wanted to go. I told her I wasn't having a lot of fun, but that I would be back to help clean up and take her home. I left with my friends and after 20 minutes,

she ended up texting me and said, "Don't bother coming back.". And that she has help from her friends and her mother. would take her home. Things have been really weird since then. and she told me what I did was rude and inconsiderate. of her feelings and that she wanted me there. I told her at least I showed up, even though that was not my type of setting, and she should be grateful that I came. and I didn't need to be there the whole party. She started saying how she always does things. that only spark my interest, which is true,

but I reminded her that she isn't required to do that, and the conversation started to feel manipulative. I just feel like she should be more grateful of the things. I do and not be stuck on the few things I don't. I feel like me at least showing up was really nice, and I even offered to come back and clean up, but she said no. She started backtracking and saying. that she would understand if I went home, but it upset her that I left to go do stuff with my friends. and not that I just left. But why should I have to stay home.

while she is out having fun?". So she's saying. she would understand if he just went home, but she's upset that he went out with his friends. to bars and stuff. Am I the asshole? - Yup. - Yeah, I mean, pretty extremely so. - Yeah, I mean, yes, asshole. However, I will just say. that with all the absolutely insane stories. that I normally hear on this show, when I hear something of this, I'm like, "Oh, this is like so tame.".

This isn't like-. - It gets so crazy. - Like, yeah, I guess, he's a asshole but he didn't like, shoot his girlfriend or whatever. That's what most of this stuff is. - Look, at the very least, he didn't bring a raccoon to a wedding. - So, I mean, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. Definitely, yeah. Totally an asshole. - It's just fascinating to hear how in denial. or just how like... I don't know. I've always held the belief, even since I was like a kid before I ever had a girlfriend,

I was always under the assumption like, oh, you have to go to their birthday party. and be there the whole time. That feels like the absolute norm. - Yeah, it's the bare minimum. - It's the bare minimum. - I don't know where he got this thought of like, "Oh, this party's lame. I wanna bounce.". It's like, no, you literally have to be there the whole time. - Yeah, you make the party better. You assist your partner and try and make it better. - It is like embarrassing for his girlfriend.

for people to be like, "Oh, where's Johnny?". And it's like, "He just wasn't really digging the vibes. so he bounced with his boys.". - Someone said, "You're the asshole. The blue whale has the biggest on the planet. You, sir, make it seem small.". Someone said, "Info. Why weren't you having fun? Was it literally just the disco music?". And he responded, "I just couldn't really vibe with the music. Me and my friends were just standing around.".

Bro. - What? - You know, this is the thing. I wouldn't feel different, but it'd be one thing if it was like, "Oh, I've only been dating this girl for four months.". He establishes that they've essentially been like, maybe not exclusive, but they've been together for well over a year. And he still is treating her this way. and feels this way about her. like she's just some person. on the outskirts of his life. - He just sounds boring. - Get out, girl. - If you can't make your own fun at a party,

you're just boring I think. - It's just a bad relationship and that needs to be over. It's like that. Hopefully, that ended it. - He should not be in a relationship at all. People should clock it and be like, "Don't ever date that guy.". - Exactly. - Someone else said, "You're the asshole. Her saying she does things with you. when she's not interested isn't being manipulative. It's her expressing she feels an imbalance. in how you support each other.". He responded, I bet it's gonna be great. "I'm used to my ex being the person who threw everything.

back in my face and now sitting here. reading comments about it, I think I'm projecting that onto my girlfriend. and misunderstood her intentions.". - Hmm. - All right. Well, we got a little something there. OP in the comments said, he said, "I feel bad that it took me putting her through all this. and having complete strangers make me realize I was wrong. My ex and I used to always do our own thing, and it was very rare that we did things that we didn't like. for the sake of each other. And I brought that into my current relationship thinking. it was normal and she was the problem and not me.

I gotta remember she is a different person and isn't my ex.". Okay, so. And I guess OP made an edit to the post. He said, "Thank you for all your input. This is the first relationship both of us have been in. where we openly said and acted. on having a healthy relationship. as we both have only had toxic ones prior to this, which both included us having a child. from one of our previous relationships. And it's becoming apparent that she did a lot more maturing. from those experiences than I have.

I am used to my friends and peers feeding the same mindset. I have shown in this post. I really do love my girlfriend and I can see. how I'm being stubborn and selfish in situation. I owe her a big apology and hopefully, I can figure something out. to make this up to her if she will let me.". - A kid at 20 something, like 22. That's Midwest coded. - Yeah, I'm shocked at the growth in the comments. I rarely see that.

You rarely see them go, "Huh. I am the asshole.". - Yeah. - 99% of the time they get called the asshole. and they just either don't respond, they just ghost. They delete the post or they defend it. - Thank God a shred of self-awareness finally. Oh man, this poor relationship. Sorry, go on. - Yeah, well it sounds like they're working out. - Yeah, they didn't split up. - I really thought they were already broken up. and I guess not. Here's another good title.

- Uh-oh. - "Am I the asshole for charging my friends admission. to my birthday party?". - Huh? - I guess that you know what? Let's dig a little deeper, it depends. - Let's dig a little deeper. - Okay, this is a 26-year-old woman. "Hey, Reddit. I recently threw a birthday party for myself, and now some of my friends don't even wanna speak to me. I'm not sure if I did something wrong, so I need your help to settle this. So for my birthday last week, I decided to host it at an exclusive venue. It was going to be a night to remember.

with live music and top-notch food. I spared no expense to make it an unforgettable experience. for my guests and for me. However, as the cost started adding up, I realized that throwing such a luxurious party. was going to be quite expensive. That's when I had an idea. I could charge my friend's admission. to attend the party and offset some of the costs. I thought it was a win-win situation. They get to come to a fabulous party. and I get some financial help. So I sent out invitations to my friends and noted. that there would be a small admission fee. to cover the expenses. I made it clear that it was non-negotiable.

and essential for the party to happen, I thought my friends would understand and gladly contribute. since they would be attending an incredible event. To my surprise, the reactions were not what I expected. Some of my friends called me out saying it was inconsiderate. and rude to charge admission to my own birthday party. They accused me of being money minded. and using them for my own gain. They argued that a birthday party should be a gift. from me to them, not the other way around. I was very surprised by their responses. I never thought they would react this way.

I genuinely believed that charging admission. was a fair approach considering. the extravagant nature of the party. After all, I was the one organizing. and financing everything. Now my friends are left divided with some supporting. my decisions and others calling me out for being selfish. I'm feeling confused and wondering if I am in the wrong. in this situation. Am I the asshole?". So I wanna point out Reddit declared them the asshole. - Huh. - Interesting. - Yeah. - Okay. - I think that the main thing is like,

nobody's forcing this person to throw an extravagant party. It's like, they made it sound like, "I had to do this thing and I couldn't afford it.". But nobody's making you get that. Nobody's making you-. - That's fair. - Pay for that. - Some important information here, which probably explains the asshole verdict. In the comments, OP clarifies that the admission fee was $90. and also expecting a gift still.

- Okay, asshole. - Asshole. Yeah. That's psycho behavior. - That's crazy. - Insane. - If you're doing any sort of event where you're expecting. your friends to help pay, that's the gift then. And I have taken part in birthday situations. where it's like, but they also ask the whole group of friends, like, they'll send a big text out to like 20 people and be like, "Hey, here's what I'm thinking for this. And we could do this, but I would need us all to chip in for this.".

And then they're clearly not expecting a gift, and you might do that anyways, but they're certainly not expecting it. They're like, "This is the gift.". And that's cool. - Yeah, that is cool. I threw a big 30th birthday party I like rented out a space. and that was very fun. And I didn't ask anybody for anything. and I like made cocktails and all that stuff. I'm like, yes, it cost me some money, but the scale that this person is... If they need $90 and a gift, by the way, that's psycho. If you need $90, your party's too huge.

Scale it back. And then people, if they're your friends, don't make them pay, you just be like, "Hey, bring extra booze. Bring extra party stuff.". And then they'll be texting you. like, "Hey, do you need ice?". It's like, I don't know. If you scale it down, it'll be easier for everybody. - Also, I'm curious. What I'd love to see is, what is the math here? You're talking about helping me pay for this. It's like $90 per person. We don't know how many people they invited. So that's one variable, but also, how much does this whole thing cost? Are you trying to have them pay for-. - The whole thing? - All of it?

- That's what it sounds like. - And it seems like the friends are catching on. and it's like, "No, you're trying to get us to pay. for this insane thing.". Someone commented, "You're organizing everything, yes, but you're not financing everything. You're asking your friends to help finance everything, but not giving them any say in the event planning. or asking what their budget is. You're not even asking if they're willing to help offset. the cost of your party. This is no different than inviting your friends. to a birthday party at your house and demanding money. from everyone before they'll be allowed in the house.

When you host an event, you assume all financial responsibility. If you can't afford it, change the party to something you can afford.". - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, I do fully agree with that. They planned this all out with this admission fee. and now are shocked that people aren't coming. or that, yeah. And I'm assuming they're also probably getting called. an asshole 'cause they're getting mad at people. for not coming. And it's like, no, if you're gonna charge 90 bucks, people are allowed to be like-. - I can't afford that. - Or I won't do that. - 100%. $90 is insane.

- That's a lot. - It's more than a night out. - That's more than a very nice club or bar. that you have to pay to get into. - Yeah, exactly. - It's stupid. - And that's probably all it's gonna be, is just like a bar or a club. Really, what are you paying $90 for? - I don't know what it could possibly be. $90 is more like, you can go to Universal Studios. for the day. - Straight up. - Straight up. Okay, so two pretty insane assholes. except it doesn't sound like she... We don't have any confirmation. that she recognized her wrongs.

- No self-awareness on this one. - Let's move on to our next one. "Am I the asshole for refusing to go. to my friend's boyfriend's party. after she demanded to approve my outfit?". - Okay. - This is 29-year-old woman. "My friend Kate, 28, has a boyfriend, Jamie, 29, whom she has been with for nearly three years. We met Jamie on a night out. and I would say that although he's Kate's boyfriend, I consider him a friend.

We share an interest in a particular sport. that we text about sometimes. And if I have a spare hospitality ticket. to one of these sporting fixtures sports.". What? - We're just curious what the sport is. - Yeah, I know. - A particular sport that I won't talk about. - I think it's pickleball and they're just embarrassed. - That's possible. - Sorry to interrupt. - No, it's okay. "Well, we text about it sometimes. And if I have a spare hospitality ticket. to one of these sporting fixtures, I will sometimes invite Jamie to go. I'm guessing based on the language used here, it's gotta be either cricket or soccer.

- Hospitality. - Like to one of the sporting fixtures. - I don't get the secrecy by the way. - "Jamie's 30th is coming up, and Jamie and Kate planned a big party, and I peripherally helped out with logistics when asked. A few days ago, Kate texted me, she asked if I wouldn't mind toning down. my look for the party, and if I could send her a picture. of what I was planning to wear. I asked her what this meant, and after asking several times if she really had to say it, she asked if I could dress verbatim,

'basically what I would consider frumpy,'. because she really didn't want to be outshown. at her own boyfriend's birthday party. When I didn't reply right away, she went on to say that she wanted Jamie's. full attention that night, which she wouldn't get if I showed up dressed properly.". - Oh no. - "I was a bit annoyed by what she was implying. So I said if I was going to be so much of a concern for her, I'd rather just politely decline the invitation. Kate freaked out saying I was being immature by not coming.

just because I couldn't steal the spotlight. I said it wasn't about that. It was about her making me responsible for whether or not. I draw her boyfriend's attention, which is something I've never tried to do nor done. as far as I'm aware. She then said it was really important to Jamie. that she stand out because his friends and colleagues. would be there. I just told her that again, if she was so worried. I was going to be distracting everyone. I'd rather not come than feel humiliated. from now until the event. I said I would send her Jamie's gift. and she could tell him why I wasn't coming. I guess she didn't tell him the reason,

because Jamie messaged me saying. he knows I'm booked the night of the party, but he'd really like it if I could be there. and asked if I could reorganize so I could come. I hadn't replied, but I got a message from Kate saying. she knows Jamie is trying to get me to come and please, could I just put my pride aside and come to the party? I asked if she was going to ditch the outfit policing, but she said no. So I said I would not be coming. She didn't reply, but I've since received a couple of texts. from mutual friends saying that while he her request.

is ridiculous, Katie is aware of that. She's just desperate to be seen a certain way. And even if it's pathetic, I would probably feel the same way in her shoes. Other friends I've told who don't know Kate, say I should not bow to the pressure and that she's nuts. for even asking. And I don't disagree. But also I feel bad skipping the party. when it's Jamie's birthday. and he asked specifically that I come. So should I be going?". - Oh, that's so sad. - I know. - That is sad. - I'm just sad.

I'm sad for this person. - It's a bummer. - Insecure in either about herself or herself. in the relationship. It's just like... - Maybe Jamie said something. - Yeah, I mean, we can only wonder for now, but you know, either way, it's not her fault. She did nothing wrong. - No. - She just straight up dressing however she wants to dress. That's such an unfair thing to ask. because even though it's Jamie's birthday party, she's like, maybe Jamie has cool friends. Maybe there's like, you don't wanna dress,

to tell someone to dress frumpy is crazy. - That's crazy. - That's a crazy ask. There's some comments here. - "Not the asshole. A friend that demands you look bad just to make themselves. look good, isn't a great friend. You aren't responsible for her self-esteem. She needs to find ways to feel better about herself. that doesn't involve dictating what others wear. She's too old for this middle school BS. - Straight up. - Yeah, it's like, that's not the answer. If she's worried about her boyfriend. being into someone else, she needs to talk to him and that needs to be between them.

Don't make it that other person's fault. So a commenter questioned the legitimacy of OP's friendship. with Jamie, the boyfriend. And OP responded. "Yeah, we're really friends. I'm married, so even if he was single, I wouldn't be, and even if we were both single, he wouldn't be my type. And I've known Kate long enough that she should know that.". Someone else said, "Holy cow, Kate needs therapy. She's so insecure. She thinks her married friend is a threat.

to her relationship? What the (bleep)?". Someone else said, "I suspect Kate does know Jamie isn't your type. and that you aren't really interested in him. I think there's a strong possibility. that you are Jamie's type though. and he's carrying out a bit of a torch for you.". These people are definitely English. She responded, "I really hope not. I was with my husband the night we met Jamie. He actually came over with his boss. who was trying to hit on me. LOL. That would be crazy if he had liked me from then. knowing I was taken.".

There's an update. - Okay. - All right. - All right. I'm ready. Let me brace. - The party hasn't happened yet. The friend requested she dressed frumpy. She declined, she said she's not gonna go. Jamie texts her being like, "why aren't you coming? Can you reorganize and come to the party?". I'm gonna just throw out a guess. I think Jamie's gonna confess that he has feelings for her. - Oh, interesting. - Hmm. - I think it's gonna be that situation. - I think, yeah, maybe they broke up. and Jamie's gonna show up to her door with a sign.

that says "Marry me.". - That's a good guess. I want op to show up bombshell. - Hell yeah. - Just like full out. Be like, look- - That's awesome. - Screw you. I'm at your party. - Okay, update, a week later. "First of all, thanks to everyone for the advice. Most responses were not what I was expecting. and really gave me a lot to think about. As surprised as I was that so many people said. to tell Jamie, I did realize it was the right thing to do. So I texted him and told him that Kate was insisting. I dress a certain way. Jamie called and explained.

A couple of months ago, Jamie and Kate were out with a few of his friends. These same friends that I mentioned in my comments. are not fond of Kate. And everyone had had a lot to drink. They were talking about how they met. their significant others. And the story of Jamie and Kate meeting came up. Apparently during the telling of the story, Kate asked Jamie why he had decided to hit on her. rather than me? And one of his friends joked that it was because he knew. he didn't have a shot with the hot one, me. Kate asked if this was true and Jamie, having had way too much to drink,

explained in a way that made it sound kind of true. He said he did notice me that night. and thought I was attractive just seeing me. He said he would never have approached me because he knew. he would never have a chance with someone like me. So in that way, his friend was right. He said that speaking to Kate was the absolute best outcome. because he loves her and plans on spending. the rest of his life with her. But even knowing this, Kate has taken this extremely hard, and even though she says she is over it, he's noticed changes in her behavior. that seem to be related to that. He also admitted that he'd been planning to propose to Kate.

at the party, and that is why he'd wanted me to be there. But after hearing this on top of the way. she has been handling the situation pre previously, he won't be doing that anymore. After speaking to Jamie, I called Kate. She admitted that she had tied a lot of her self-worth. in the fact that she'd finally been picked over me, and now it felt like that wasn't true. She apologized for trying to solve. her insecurities through me, but also said she wasn't sure she would be able to have me. in her life as much as I had been with the way. she's been feeling.

As hurt as I was, I said I understood. She said she still wanted me to come to the party. since I'd helped organize it, and she obviously dropped the absurd dress code. So I will be going to the party. I trust that Kate will communicate her boundaries to Jamie, but I don't plan on inviting him to any more events. for the foreseeable future. I'm really sad that I've probably lost a long-time friend. over the drunken awkwardness of other people, but I also get that Kate can't help how she feels, and frankly, it's for the best. not to be in a secret competition. So yeah, I'm hurt, but I'm going to the party.

Not a satisfying update, but an honest one.". Damn. Damn. - I got chills from that. - That's real. - It's so sad. - Yeah, that's sad. I guess, in a way, props to Kate for really being honest. - Everyone owned up to it. - She was just like, "Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm insecure. I can't untie this.". That does take strength to admit that. It sucks she can't instead go to therapy. and work through that.

- Yeah, exactly. - To still be friends with her. but at least she's being honest with her. - And Kate saying like, "I finally got picked over you,". and this is like a long-term insecurity. - It's probably been going on for since-. - Yeah, years. - Since they've started being friends. - Probably. - It's probably been a life. - And that's not, yeah. - I think we're gonna need to see pictures. of these two people to decide for ourselves. (all laughing). - Who's the hottie? - Who's the hottie? It's so sad, and Jamie sucks.

Jamie really sucks. Like that's... - Well, wasn't it a friend that said it first? - But the way he explained it, and I guess he did say the thing of like, I recognize she would never go for me. It's like, of course, Kate's gonna feel insecure forever now. 'Cause what he's essentially saying is like, "Oh, if she changed her mind.". I'd be gone. - I think it's an important message. to all the straight guys out there,

that somebody asks you a question like that, shut the (bleep) up. Don't do not (bleep) answer honestly. Just leave it, leave it. - Go, "Ha ha ha.". Don't say anything. - Yeah. Some comments here. "I'm guessing the friend. was repeating something Jamie told him. That's not something that comes up out of the blue.". OP responded. "He said he's postponing the proposal because neither Kate. nor the relationship are in the right place for it. at the moment. I understand it to be that the relationship.

doesn't feel as stable. And no matter how much you love someone, you don't want a proposal with unsaid things. hanging over you. I respect that. I don't believe he ever thought of Kate as second fiddle. He saw me across a room and thought I was pretty. knowing nothing about me. That happens daily in the world. You don't talk to every person you find attractive. It wasn't like he tried on with me, and I said no. so he settled for Kate. He didn't, and never would've tried hitting on me. Apart from noting that I was out of his league, I was totally irrelevant. But yeah, the whole thing is disappointing.". Someone asked about Jamie moving forward.

OP replied, "As I said in the post, I won't be inviting him to things in the future. Even if Kate and I can't be friends like we used to be, I still feel out of respect for her. I'm not going to invite Jamie places because I know. it's making her feel bad, and I'm sure she will tell him this as well.". I mean, that's, yeah, I can't think of a different solution for this. - Yeah, there's not much you can do here. - No, I think they're all handling it like, even though it started from a very like juvenile place,

they're all handling it like adults. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And they didn't break up. They're gonna work, I hope they work it out. And then when they're feeling more comfortable. in their relationship and can trust each other, then they can get-. - Get engaged. - Get engaged. - If they get over this, they'll be better for it. This probably uncovered something. that's been in the background the whole time. - Sure. - Oh, 100%. - Now it'll be stronger if they make it through. - Yeah. Are you ready? - Yeah.

- "Am I the asshole for announcing at a party. that my mom's friend might be interested in me?". Let's go. - Let's go. - Let's freaking go. - Wait, what do you mean announcing? (all laughing). - Hell yeah. - Nancy. I know. All right, let's see what this actually is. It's a 24-year-old woman. "I, a 24-year-old woman, have known my mom's friends, Jane, a woman who's 60, and Joe, a man who's 66, since I was a kid.

Recently, they began to comment. that I have never had a boyfriend. To start, Jane said a local shop is hiring. and I should apply. because it would be a great place to meet boys. I said, thanks, but I'm not looking for a boyfriend. Joe then started saying how I should try to find someone. soon before it's too late. I tried to joke it off, saying, I don't need a man and a boyfriend sounded like work. After they left, I told my parents that I didn't like those comments. and they made me uncomfortable. My parents agreed it was strange, but said I shouldn't overthink it. They came over again and pushed the discussion.

of relationships and how I should find a boyfriend. I tried to make a joke saying I was asked out, but turned it down. My parents seemed surprised. So I told a story about how two different guys asked me out, but I turned them down because they made me uncomfortable. Jane said, I should at least go on a date with them. because I don't know when I'll be asked again. I became angry and told them I would rather be single. than date someone who made me feel uncomfortable. Joe disagreed saying it didn't matter. I should have taken the offers. I mentioned again to my parents how uncomfortable I was.

with these comments, but again, I was told to ignore them. I asked my parents to tell them to stop making comments. about my relationships. I saw them again last week. My parents pulled them aside and told them. to stop making those comments. as they made me uncomfortable. They agreed to stop. Later, Joe asked me a question, and when I didn't give him the response he wanted, he said he'd ask about my boyfriend later. to set me back to normal because it's so funny. After, Joe told everyone not to ask about any boyfriend. because they wouldn't want me to get upset again.

When Jane and Joe were leaving, they made a comment about me being alone. for the rest of my life. The final straw was tonight. My parents had a party and Jane and Joe came. My parents agreed to remind them of my boundary. and that I could leave if needed. The jokes continued. Jane said how sad my life must be and how I will die alone. I started to leave when Joe said Jane was right, and it was almost pathetic. that I didn't have a boyfriend yet. I was tired of them disrespecting my boundaries. So I turned to Joe and very loudly said,

"I think I finally understand why you and Jane. keep bringing up my relationship status. It's because you're interested in me. That must be why you keep disrespecting my boundaries. Well, let me be clear. I am not interested in you. And frankly, it's creepy. You've known me since I was a child.". I left after that. From what I've been told, they were embarrassed and left the party early. My best friend thinks I am right. But my parents believe that what I said. was uncalled for and disturbing. What they said makes me feel disrespected. but maybe I was too harsh.

So am I the asshole?". - So, hold on. Was there evidence that he? - There's no, I don't think... I think she was doing it more as a tactic of like, "You guys keep making me uncomfortable. I'm gonna make you uncomfortable at this party. And it sounds like it worked. And they were embarrassed and it was like, whatever. Honest to God, I mean, look. Besides them making just nonstop weird comments to her. - That's not okay. - And they're both in their 60s, like, she's very young.

It's super weird. Their response almost makes me go like, did they have like weird, are these a bunch of weirdos? But also maybe they're just also uncomfortable. 'cause that is a crazy. It is a lot to say, but she was justified to say it. - I mean, like, if you get pushed, if you set up a boundary and you're like, "You're not saying this,". and then people do it over and over again, you're going to break. Was it the best thing to do? I don't know, but I understand why. - I'm not the one to say.

It seems like nothing was gonna stop them. It's so weird, man. There's just some people are just so controlling. And they care so much about something. that doesn't matter to them. I'm like, dude, leave it alone. I don't give a shit what people's relationship status is. I just don't. I don't care. - They almost strike me as the kind of people that like, they like ball busting, but they're not very funny. So if they said it once and people laugh,

they're like, "Oh yeah, I'm gonna keep doing that.". - They keep doing that. - Like, that's funny. That's funny, I'm gonna keep doing that. And they just can't move on from that one thing. 'Cause I mean, it's so common for boomers. to ball bust and say something like that. Like, "Oh, you're gonna live alone. for the rest of your life.". And you're like, "Haha. All right.". And then they'll move on to the next thing. but it sounds like these people just like, aren't original enough to-. - I will say I've met a lot of boomers. who they truly don't know how to joke or have conversations.

So they find like a bit. And honestly, if you're uncomfortable by it, it almost means like they're like, "Oh, I'm gonna keep doing that. Ha ha.". It's very possible that the two of them just are like, "Oh, this is so funny. Oh, we love telling her she's gonna die alone. It's a funny joke.". But it's like, dude, stop. After a certain while, stop. - Yeah, and they were told to stop. - You're told to stop saying the joke. - Stop it. - It's so easy. - It's so easy. - There's so many things to talk about.

Yeah, I mean, the verdict's not the asshole. People are like, "Not the asshole. Why are your parents okay with their friends bullying you? Those people would never be allowed in my life again. if they disrespected my child that way.". Someone said, my first thought was the parents. are using the friends to push their child. towards a relationship. 'Cause who wants relationship advice from parents? So maybe they thought family friends were a better option.". Yeah, it doesn't seem to be the case. Someone said, "Not the asshole. You asked them multiple times to respect your boundaries. and they didn't. You can only poke the bear so many times.". - That part. - "These types of people are honestly baffled by women.

that don't wanna shack up with a guy immediately. and can handle being alone.". - Yes. - Double yes. If they aren't lesbians. They honestly cannot comprehend women living single. and not being miserable about it.". - Yes, like the fact that they were like, "Well, you should have taken those two options. because when's the next time a suitor is gonna come by. and sweep you off your feet and get you knocked up?". - The scarcity running-out-of-time mindset, that's so, we have modern medicine.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We'll be around. There's time. - I think an important thing that I think about a lot. is someday when I'm like in my 60s and 70s, people in their 20s are going to be living life. probably very differently than I lived in my 20s. And you have to just accept that and be like, "Oh yeah, that's right. The world is different now. Okay. However you're living your life. is how people should be living their lives now. Okay.". - Are you happy? Are you healthy? - Yeah, but they can't comprehend it. They're like, "Why aren't you doing it.

exactly how I did it in the (bleep) '80s?". It's like, 'cause the world's different, man. Sorry. - Well, I guarantee you when we're 60, we're not gonna be-. - We'll be dead. - We're gonna be. - Yeah, we'll be dead. Won't matter for us, we'll be dead. - Why aren't you in the bunker with the rest of us? Why are you wandering the waste? (all laughing). You, kids. (all laughing). Wandering the waste. (laughs). Reading Reddit stories is brought to you by BetterHelp.

People often say I look and act like a therapist. on this show, but I am not a therapist. However, I have been in therapy for a long time now. and I really can't recommend it enough. It has changed my life for the better. Life is crazy and it's tough. and we all face tough decisions. Career, family, relationships. It's hard to navigate. It's hard to navigate our own minds. And that's where therapy can really make a difference. So if you're thinking about trying therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

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All right, moving on now. Here we go. "Am I the asshole for serving non-alcoholic drinks. to family at a party and not telling them?". I feel like we get one of these types of ones. every other episode now. A lot of discourse on whether having a dry party. or wedding or something is okay. "It is important to note that my family tend. to excessively drink when invited to events or parties. and things often get a bit chaotic. I, 24-year-old woman and my partner,

26-year-old man have been together for six years. Early on in the relationship, my partner disclosed that he was in recovery. after struggling with alcoholism during his teens. It wasn't a big deal in our relationship. as I don't really drink anyway. and we don't keep any alcohol in the house. However, when we attended my cousin's wedding about four years ago, my family got extremely drunk and tried to pressure. my partner into breaking his sobriety. It caused a small argument within the family. as we left early and offended my cousin and her husband. Two years ago, I got a huge promotion.

and we wanted to celebrate, but my husband felt uncomfortable with throwing a party. due to the way my family behave under the influence. So we decided to exclusively serve non-alcoholic drinks. at the party. On the day of the party, we decided to pour the drinks into large pitchers. and label them to avoid people reading the labels. And we took out the trash to get rid of the bottles. The party itself was quite tame. They drank their usual amount and kept making comments like, "Wow, I don't even feel tipsy,". or, "I can barely feel anything.". We tried to shrug it off as, "Oh, maybe you built up your tolerance.".

After the party, we decided to continue to serve. non-alcoholic drinks at parties that we hosted. A week ago, we were at a dinner hosted by my grandparents, where again, my family tried to force alcohol. on my partner all evening. He finally snapped and revealed, "You're all so much nicer when you're not drunk. Why do you think we keep serving you non-alcoholic drinks. when you're at ours?". The room fell silent for a few seconds. Then all the questions started. We tried to explain our situation. and why we don't serve alcohol, but my family were furious. We left shortly after, but my phone has been blowing up ever since.

My family has boycotted parties that we host. and refuse to accept any form of apology. I've told my friends about the situation. and the response has been very divided. Some are saying that it's not my place to force people. to abstain from drinking alcohol. Others say that it was my party, therefore, my rules. Am I the asshole?". I think the term "forcing people to abstain. from drinking alcohol-". - That stupid. - Is a crazy point. - That's not... - This is America though. - You can't force people to abstain from drinking.

It's like, no, you just served non-alcoholic drinks. and they didn't realize. Which I'm also a little like, you didn't realize? I don't know. I feel like. - After while you'd be like-. - I feel like I can tell when a drink that I'm drinking. doesn't have alcohol in it. - Yeah, or it's the best cocktail in the world. - Honestly, I want these mocktails. Man, I'll just drink these from now on. - This is a family of what seems like alcoholics. If they're really angry about, and forcing the, the boyfriend to drink-. - That's so messed up. - So messed up.

- That's extremely messed up. They're alcoholics but they're also like I said, stupid. You're an alcoholic who can't recognize. when what you're drinking is not alcoholic. I feel like an alcoholic would be like, "There's no alcohol in this. I know that.'. They have like a spidey sense for it. - Yeah, right. - You know what's funny is like, I was thinking about the fact that like, they're saying like, "Wow, I could barely feel this.". You know that they took like that experience and were like, "Dude, I did like 10 shots of liquor.". And then they like went to their next party.

and then just got com completely (bleep) up. They're like, "No, it's fine. Last time, I just, I'm fine.". - I can drink so much, I drink a whole pitcher. - Yeah, I drink a whole pitcher of this beer. - I guess if it's a non-alcoholic beer. They could be tricking. 'Cause I love non-alcoholic beer. And it can really, it could trick you. You could think like this is Corona. and it's a non-alcoholic and that stuff is great. - Can you imagine just like beer. just sitting out in a pitcher? That's gross. - People do that. Have you never gotten a pitcher of beer somewhere?

- No. (people laughing). No, I'm kidding, I have. But usually, you drink it so fast. It doesn't sit in the pitcher. - Yeah, you should be drinking it pretty fast. Comments. "Can you imagine being such a big alcoholic that you get mad. over someone not spiking the punchbowl?". - Exactly. - "You're not the for the drinks, but I think you're an to your partner. for having these terrible people around him.". Wow. That's an interesting take. - That's an interesting take. - That's an interesting take. It does inspire me to like want.

to maybe throw a non-alcoholic party. Just to see what it's like. - Any party can be rad. You don't need alcohol. The whole take about like, they're the asshole for having her family around him is odd. That take only works if this family. is drinking 24/7 I think. - That's true. Yeah, and it sounds like they pressured him. I forget if it was once or twice.

- Twice. - I mean, look, it's twice. - Twice. - It sucks. That does suck. - I mean, yeah, at this point, maybe you don't do that anymore. I don't know. - Yeah. Someone said, "Alcoholic here, not the asshole. You have every right to not serve alcohol at your party, but trying to trick your family into believing. they were drinking alcohol was probably not the best idea. Next time, just be honest. 'We don't drink and won't be serving alcohol.'. If your family has a problem with that, especially knowing your partner is in recovery, they're truly assholes.". Yeah, I feel like if you give that option and they refuse,

then you can just be like, "All right, I'm cutting you out.". Then, alright, we're done. And it sounds like the family's boycotting her parties now. - Anyway. - Because she's not serving alcohol. So it's like, all right, this family's cutting themselves outta your life. Yeah, shocking. That one's weird. This comes from Relationship Advice. This is not an asshole story, but there might be an asshole in it. "I, a 25-year-old woman overheard my 27-year-old boyfriend.

saying that he chose the wrong girl.". - Ooh. - Oh. - For context-. - Maybe it'll have a happy ending. - "For context, me and my boyfriend have been together. for in total, eight years.". - Oh, then they should break up. (all laughing). - No, it's gonna be bad. "We met between mutual friends while I was still in school. and he had just moved to my town to go to college.

We were friends for two years before we started dating. The reason for this was because one, I was too scared to make a move and secondly, he was in love with one of our mutual friends. After she got a boyfriend, he moved on to liking me and we have been dating ever since. Last Saturday was his birthday and he told me. he has never been thrown a surprise birthday party. and would like to experience one. I worked all week before Saturday, his birthday, planning and inviting people, getting reservations, buying a cake, etc. I asked his best friend to hang out with him. for most of the day so that I could set up and get everyone.

to get there and hide for the surprise. The birthday party was a success. and he was smiling the whole time. He had snuck off with his best friend somewhere and I wanted. to find him so that we could sing "Happy Birthday". and cut the cake. As I was walking down the hallway, I heard him and his friend talking. so I kept walking towards their voices. I heard him tell his friend that he should have kept trying. with our mutual friend. He told him that he should have been the man. that was engaged to her and not her now fiancee. He said that he hated waking up to me and that he wished.

that our mutual friend was the one that threw him. his first surprise birthday party. He said that he felt disgusted every time he had to kiss me. or hold me because he knew that our mutual friend. should be in his arms instead. He said that he felt like he was stuck in our relationship. and that he would end up having to marry me. He said that our mutual friend was better than me in looks. from head to toe. He said that she was the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. I went back to the party and told everyone. that I couldn't find him. and that we would have to wait for him to come back.

When he came back, he gave me a hug and kiss on the head. and told me he loved me. I didn't wanna ruin his party so I went along with it. He doesn't know that I know he doesn't honestly love me. I've just been going along with everything. I honestly don't wanna break up with him. I just wanna know how I can make him fall in love with me. I don't know what I did to make him feel so unhappy. so I would like to know how do I make my boyfriend. fall in love with me. or should I just give up on our relationship?". - Yes. - "He is the first boyfriend I've ever had. and I'm scared to start dating again at my age.".

- Oh my god. - "At my age of 25.". - Oh my god. Oh my God. Hey, get outta there. - Trash. - Get outta there, honey. - That's so sad. - Run! - That is so sad. - That is so sad. - You're 25, get out. Honestly, no. It doesn't matter what age. You can be 60, get out. - Yeah. - Get outta there. - You're still alive. There's plenty of people. - You should not be working to make the person you've been. in a relationship with for eight years. fall in love with you for the first time. Like, I get it if you're in a relationship and like things,

"Oh, we've had issues and whatever," and it's like, "How do we rekindle this love?". But it's not your job to make your boyfriend. not a bad person. That's such a... - And why is this boyfriend doofus? Like, "Well, I'm gonna have to marry her.". You also have agency think to leave this person. - I think those 60-year-old parents. must be friends with these kids. They're like, "I mean, I don't know when another person's gonna come along.". - And also like, I'm not defending this at all,

but someone might be going thinking like, "Well, he was in a private conversation with his friend. that he thought was just between him and he was venting.". But it's at your surprise birthday party. that your girlfriend is throwing for you. and this is how you're feeling? Like, dude. Your girlfriend just did such an incredible thing for you. and you're feeling this way and talking this way right now? You should not be here. - Yeah. - Go. - This is the best thing that could have happened. for this relationship is her finding this out. 'Cause I can't imagine them getting married,

going through all this and this doofus is still like... - I hope she leaves. Her response is, "I'm gonna put on a good face for the rest of this party. And then, how do I make him fall in love with me?". It's like, dude. - No. - You deserve so much better. - Yeah. - People said, "Oh girl, if I stayed with the drop kick I was with at 25, I'd be freaking miserable. 25 is not too late to start dating again. You deserve way more than this disrespect. Call him out on it. Watch his face, then leave. You cannot make someone love you and someone who loves you.

will never say the things you heard.". OP said in a different comment, she just said, "This whole situation makes me feel so unlovable. I gave him eight years just for him to never love me. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me. I'm so scared of feeling this way again. that I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should leave or stay. I'm still so attached to him.". Ugh, get out, get out. - Get out, babe. - Run. - Sounds kind of abusive but I guess I shouldn't put.

that label on 'cause I don't know anything about it. But to think you don't have any choice, to think you can't leave a relationship like that, that sounds horrible. - I know. - It's hard when you put a lot of time into a relationship. 'cause then you're like, "Well I put so much time into it. I've gotta stick with it 'cause I put so much time into it.". - Well, it's the sunken cost fallacy. - Exactly. - Relationship. It's like, doesn't matter how long you've been in it, if it's not working for you-. - Then go. - That's fine. And I think wasted is such a... - Wrong not term. - Not the way to think.

It's not the way to think because it's like, no, you put in a lot of effort and you grew. and you've proven to yourself that you can love someone. - Yeah. - And life isn't also about just having your soulmate. There's other parts to your life as well. It's not just your partner. - And I went through a breakup at around 26. and it was like the biggest growth period of my life. Like I grew, I changed so much in that time.

than I ever had changed before. And that's true for the rest of your life. You always have opportunities to keep growing. It's just a journey. Someone said, "If someone they said they hated. waking up to me and then came back in the room. and said they loved me, what a fat liar. I could not live with that. Don't be afraid to leave. You'll be fine. I don't know if you will, if you marry him. I'm going to say this very bluntly, please have some self-respect. This guy that supposedly loves you doesn't want you,

finds being with you disgusting. and you want to stay with this person who feels stuck. in a relationship with you? Get higher standards. Your boyfriend is a really bad person. Like who the fuck does this to someone?". OP responded, "I've been crying all night from this comment. I know I shouldn't wanna stay with him, but I'm so scared of no one ever finding me good enough. to stay with. I have been with him for eight years. and I couldn't even make him love me.". I wanna dump a bucket of ice on this woman.

and just be like-. - Wake up. You're fine. - Come on, stop. I feel like, I wonder... You know what? I'm subscribing to the thought that this boyfriend. must be horrible because it doesn't sound like. she has any friends who hype her up. Friends who've been like, "You need to get out of this.". it just sounds like she's alone and doesn't feel. she's worth it. It's like, oh my God. - We don't know what's happening. - But I really hope Reddit can change her mind, 'cause it does sound like this Reddit community is all she,

these commenters might be the only people in her life. telling her that she's worth more. It's so sad. - Good on you, Reddit. You did something. - Yeah. - Here's some karma, Reddit. I don't know. - This isn't that old. - You're some gold. - This isn't that old. So on the off chance that she happens to watch these videos. or comes across this, if you haven't already broken up with this guy, break up with him. - Yeah.

- I've never felt so strongly about something. - I know. - No, absolutely. - Well, I mean, and the boyfriend was so cut and dry about it. He's like, "I can't stand her.". And it's like, if you hear that, then it's like, okay. - It's borderline a sketch. Where she's like, "Oh, maybe I'll stay with him.". And he's just like, "I throw up. every time I think about her.". - "But maybe he still loves me.". "I do not love her.". - "I really, really hate her.". - Well, maybe things can change. - Nothing will ever change. - Yeah, yeah. - All right, here we go.

"Am I the asshole for answering a rude question. with a rude question? I'm a happily married gay man. and yesterday, my husband and I were at a friend's house. celebrating their birthday. At the end of the party, a small group of people were sitting around the fire. talking shit when a woman who I don't know, friend of friend type of thing, ask me and my husband straight to our faces.". - Oh no. Oh no. - Here we go. - All right, here we go. "So a woman who I don't know,

friend of a friend type of thing, ask me and my husband straight to our faces, 'So, do you like being (bleep) up the ass. or is it your husband?'". So do you, or does your husband. "And before you all ask, no, she wasn't drunk. She was the designated driver. I replied-" - Bruh. - "She was the designated driver. I replied, 'Do you like to on all fours or on your back?'. She got mad and stormed off calling me a prick. At the time, everyone there laughed, most were drunk,

but the woman was my friend's girlfriend's. relative or something. And now he and his girlfriend are getting some backlash. He's mad at me now because even though what she said. was offensive, I didn't need to stoop to her level. I'm starting to feel bad about it. The last thing I wanted was to cause trouble for my friend. So am I the asshole?". - I think with situations like that, you have to show people that what they said.

was incredibly offensive. or else, they're just gonna repeat it. - That's true. - They're gonna think it's like acceptable behavior. - That's true. - It's also not on the LGBT people. to have to explain to them that that's... - Yeah, sure. - And I gotta say kind of iconic. Kinda an iconic comeback. - It's kind of a sick comeback. - Kind of a sick comeback. Yes, it is stooping to her level and that's not great, but kind of iconic. - I think it's iconic.

I mean, yeah, you're not like blowing up the person. You're just literally reframing the same question. - You're bouncing, exactly. It's a one-to-one. - Especially if they said it like that, it's like gross. - Also, especially if nobody else there. is gonna immediately be going, "What the (bleep) are you doing?". If everyone was immediately like, "Yeah, hey, what the (bleep)?". Doesn't sound like they were doing that. Sounds like this guy was kinda left on his own. And simply put, yeah, she decided it was fine to ask extremely inappropriate.

and offensive questions. So he was like, "All right, so is this what we're doing here? We can ask just super (bleep) up questions? All right, here's another one.". It is shocking to me that she was offended. 'Cause I have known people and not like her, not like this, but people who just ask. really, really intimate questions very fast. But you generally can ask them the same kind of questions. and they're like down. - If they're that kind of person. - They're just a very open person who's just like,

"Oh, what's everyone's sex life like?". But this woman was being weird and she wasn't even drunk, which is crazy. That's shocking. - Who's cock do you put into? - I think that answer's totally fair. - I think so. - Absolutely. - And in fact, if I witnessed that, I'd laugh and be like, yeah, what else are you gonna respond? - Yeah, iconic. - What the (bleep) else are you gonna say? - I'd be so, yeah. - That's disgusting though from like, I would never want to hang out.

with that type of person again. "Not the asshole. She set the tone for the conversation. and you followed her lead.". - Boom. - "She couldn't possibly expect a serious response. to her offensive question. Kudos to you for your quick response. that put everyone at ease.". "Definitely not the asshole. You met her exactly where she was. She knew what she said to you was offensive and. and is just butt hurt she got called on it.". - Is that a? - I don't know, that's just what they said. "Not the asshole and (bleep) that homophobic woman. Those people are only mad at you.

because they're getting backlash for being assholes. Saying you stoop down to her level is just a way of them. wording around, 'You didn't let us bully you.'". - Yeah, it's kinda like that thing where a comedian will say. something offensive and then you'll call them out and say, "Oh, so we just can't say anything anymore?". - Them getting mad at- - It's like watch them-. - Getting mad at him makes me worried. that they would've let her get away with it. - Right. Exactly. - Oh yeah. An interesting thought about this is moral boundaries.

sometimes seem to be, as far as at least with discussion. and the way we talk to each other, the moral boundaries seem to often be different at parties. Do you feel that's true? I mean, obviously, the workplace, there's things that are like, that's inappropriate to say whatever. I feel like at parties, sometimes, people just kinda get this, she wasn't even drunk, but she just thought in her head she's like, "Oh, I can ask this question here 'cause we're at a party. Where is whatever.". Or is that even like a? - I feel like that might be the case for people.

who on the daily are kind of more in a, and I don't mean conservative, like, I mean conservative in like a locked in kind of thing. Like very reserved and all that. And so then if parties aren't happening often, you go to a party, then I can see that shift happening. But I feel like it's usually just alcohol. that's making people like do shit. - You're right. - I don't know. - Yeah. And alcohol wasn't even a factor here is what's wild. - That is wild. - All right, moving on.

"Am I the asshole for not throwing my daughter. an extravagant birthday party?". All right. "My daughter Anna, who's 16 and I a 45-year-old woman, have very different personalities. (all laughing). Well, I wonder why. I'm an introvert whose idea of a perfect night. is curling up with a good book. And she's an extrovert who prefers going out with friends.". - She's 16. - Like a teenager. "She's also grown up far more privileged than I was.

I grew up in a cramped apartment. in a poor immigrant neighborhood. While Anna and her sister, a 13-year-old, have their own rooms, computers and cell phones. This seems to be the norm where we live, but it's a big culture shock for me. Our relationship has always been challenging. due to our different personalities and upbringings. But things seem to have gotten much more difficult. since Anna became a teenager. We fight a lot and though I of course, love her, I often find her to be very demanding and entitled. ". Yeah, this is her daughter.

- Yes. - She's acting like this, she's like, "I don't know who this person is.". - Yeah, this sounds like a teenager. - Ever since she was a baby, we just, we're so different. It's like, yeah. - She's like, yeah. - I don't know. She's just like shits on herself. It's (bleep) weird. - I hate that she's her own person. - I hate that she's different than me. - She's supposed to be a carbon copy. - She's so different. She has like a cell phone. I never had that growing up. - It's, like, wonder, huh? - Yeah, I wonder why. - Was it the '90s? "Last year, Anna said that she wanted a big party.

for her Sweet 16. When I asked what she had in mind, she said she wanted something like the parties. that her friends had for their bat mitzvahs. Even knowing how extroverted she is, I was stunned that Anna would ask. for such an extravagant event, which there's no way we could afford, after all those kinds of parties. cost tens of thousands of dollars. Of course, I shut it down immediately. This made her very angry and we had a huge argument. I just literally could not believe that she would ask. for something so frivolous as an expensive party. that only lasts a couple hours.

For weeks, Anna kept begging me to have a Sweet 16, insisting it was important to her to have a big party. with all her friends for a milestone birthday. I got so tired of arguing about it. that I finally relented and agreed to it. However, I explained that it was going to be on a budget. She said she understood and agreed. I was able to find a venue, the local clubhouse, a DJ, and went with Chipotle for catering. All of which she okayed. I managed the process so that we would not go over budget. I was able to put it all together for around $1,500.".

- That's not bad. - That seems great to me. "Well, I guess I should have predicted this, but although Anna agreed that the party. have been done on a budget, apparently, it wasn't good enough for her. When we entered the venue on the day of her party, it was clear that she was disappointed. The party itself seemed to go fine. At the end of the night, we drove home in silence and I could tell she was upset. When we got home, Anna stormed off to her room. without even so much as a thank you. The next morning Anna laid into me saying. that her cheap ass party left her feeling humiliated. in front of all of her friends.

I reminded her that she agreed to my conditions and she said. she never would've done so if she knew. I was going to cheap out so bad. I told her she should be grateful. she even had a Sweet 16 party. Something I never would've dreamed to ask my parents for. It's been a week and Anna has barely spoken to me. I think she's being very entitled and my husband. agrees with me, but my other daughter says. she understands where Anna is coming from. Am I the asshole?". The verdict is asshole.

- Interesting. - So the verdict is asshole, which I'm guessing, I'm assuming maybe that there's more info in the comments, which we'll get to in a second, but based on... Now, this is the mom's explanation of this. But hearing her side, she spent $1,500 on a birthday party. That's I think plenty. It all seems right to me. What I guess I would assume maybe, you know. It sounds like all of her friends are very wealthy.

- Right. - And I am sure if her party wasn't as wealthy. as her friends, I'm sure she got comments from her friends. being like, "Well this isn't like mine.". Maybe that happens. And you might be having the best time of your life. when you're a teenager, but as soon as one of your friends goes, "This is lame,". You're like, "(bleep) this is lame.". - Exactly. - "It's the lamest thing ever.'. And of course, the younger sister's like, "No, I agree with her.". - 'Cause they're almost a teenager. - "I agree with my older sister.". - This just feels like a mom who's not maybe that great.

at communicating with her child, it seems maybe, and a teenager. You know, this is a teenager. They're gonna be upset, they're gonna not talk to you for a week. You gotta get through that. - And it's a big deal. Look, a Sweet 16 is a big deal in high school. That's like, "Gosh, everyone's gonna view me...". It's almost your birthday parties at that age. are less about you and it's more about like, "Shit, I'm trying to show off and fit in status.".

- Friends. - Even though nobody will remember two or three years. - Exactly. - And it will not matter at all. - I don't remember any of my teenage birthday parties. - Me neither. - I never cared about my own birthday parties, but I don't remember mine. I don't really remember my friends. Those just aren't my memories that I held onto. - I do have a solution for the mom. I think she could have avoided all this and thrown her. the best birthday party ever. if she asked every guest to pay $90.

- That's such a good point. - Huge. - And bring a gift. - And bring a gift. - That's a huge point. And then halfway through the party, have the daughter overhear the mom being like, - I hate my- - I'm so ugly. - I hate her so much. I hate that I have to have her as my daughter. Okay, let's see what's going on in the comments here. - I'd love to hear. - OP responded to a bunch of comments. - Oh, mommy. - And that often impacts the verdict.

A commenter said, "Info. Any additional specifics on what elements Anna found cheap? You said she approved the venue, DJ and food. Was it the quantity of food? Lack of decorations? I feel like something is missing.". OP responded, "Her biggest complaint seemed to be the fact. that I did not buy any decorations, which I did not find to be necessary. Admittedly, it was a little bare bones. The venue, our local community clubhouse. was equipped with folding tables and chairs, but nothing else.

Not even tablecloths, which I assumed incorrectly would be supplied. The DJ was a little unusual. He actually ended up spending most of the night doing trivia. with the kids, which seemed like fun. but it was obviously not what my daughter was expecting. She did not have any issues with the food or so she says.". Commenter said, "You're the asshole. It sounds like you didn't even try. Why did you not ask the venue. about decorations or tablecloth? Why did you not ask the DJ about his routine? Trivia is very different from music. You also go out of your way to elaborate.

about how entitled your daughter is. without providing these crucial details. This was probably really humiliating for her. and it may have been better for all. not to have had a party at all.". Someone said, "Everyone sucks here. You gave her a budget but also didn't put. much thought into it. You could do pretty fancy for 1,500, but you have spoiled her and set her expectations too. You can't teach a kid not to be entitled. after you have taught them to be entitled. and blame it solely on them.". OP responded, "I'm not sure how I've taught her. to be entitled.

Her younger sister is not like this. and I don't buy her extravagant things normally. She has a cell phone and she has a computer for school. But my kids do not have tablets, cars, video games, or any other fancy electronics. Anna complains about not having. the same things her friends have, but I'm trying to teach her that you can't always get. what you want. This is the one time I caved and I regret it.". Someone said, "You're the asshole based on your comments. You couldn't get a few decorations for the venue and the DJ. didn't even play music, but instead did trivia? If you were willing to throw her a party,

you should have put in some effort. Instead, you showed her how little you cared. and embarrassed her in front of her friends.". - Yeah. - Yeah. - And then, last person-. - I actually do agree with that. - I kind of agree with that too. - Last person said, "You made the barest minimum of efforts. to give your daughter what she had asked for. to the point where she would've been better off. if you had just said no. and gotten her to pick something else. Like weaponized incompetence levels of effort.". Weaponized incompetence, it's made a comeback. There it is. - Yeah, that sounds awful. - Yeah, it does.

- Just bare bones, folding chairs and-. - Dude, I can see it in my mind and I hate being there. - It sounds almost worse, this mom... - It's worse than a house party. - Yeah, it sounds worse. It's almost probably more hurtful that it's like, she threw money at stuff and then didn't, but it's like, but you didn't really try. to make this look good. You could make a party look awesome for no money. So that's-. - It's the lack of effort. - She wasted $1,500 in on stupid stuff.

- It's the no effort thing. - Yeah, that's sad, man. That's an easy thing to get together and like... - Yeah, I mean, with that money, you could buy some fun decorations. Just throw a house party, or get a backyard party or something. - Or get her like a bombass gift. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You know, it's like, "Can't give you a party, sorry. Here's one grand. What do you wanna spend it on?". - Or the only thing-. - I would freak the (bleep) out. - Yeah, or the only thing you care about as a teen, which is the cake.

Get a sweet cake. That's all I care about. Pizza and cake. - That may have been your... - That's all I may have been. - That may have you experience. - And Spider-Man plates. - And spider-Man plates. Pizza cake, Spider-Man plates. Pinata, Xbox. - Well, Xbox, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, Xbox. - $1,500 Is like close to, I mean it's not, but I'm like, at that point I'm like, throw a house party for no money and get her a car. Like, I don't know like. - Princess Elsa. - Or fly to New York.

- Yeah, something, anything. But I think it feels like the daughter, she might even be unconsciously feeling like, "Oh, my mom doesn't love actually care about me. and love me and like put in the effort for me.". And the money's not what matters. All right, moving on. "Am I the asshole for trying to force my friends. to clean up after my party?". - Mm. Interesting. - Force? - Force.

This is a 35-year-old woman. "My birthday was a week ago. Since I work a lot right now, I didn't plan anything. thinking I could invite some friends and families out. for a simple lunch picnic or something later. When I got home from work on Friday afternoon, I was surprised with the small gathering. Some of my friends had planned and cooked for a barbecue. in my small garden. It was absolutely lovely. Food was delicious, drinks, lovely and cute, non-alcoholic ;cause I don't drink. and they decorated my place in garden, cat themed. Even my grumpy old cat had a little bow tie. Love cats." - Cutie. - "Anyhow, night was amazing and they all left happy.

The morning after, I began work at 6:30. and only plowed through the mess left behind. thinking my friends would be in contact later. about cleaning since it was their party. I'm currently saving up for a car, so I'm working two jobs on the weekends. and sometimes, the rest of the week too. At 2:30, I got home to change my clothes, eat something and rush away to job number two. Nobody had still contacted me about cleaning. and my house was still a mess with piling dishes, trash and furniture needed to be moved back.

Still thinking they would help, I sent a text asking which time they planned on coming by. to help with the cleanup. I would be home about eight. Didn't get any answers except for one saying. she was working today and tomorrow. My Sunday looks the same and since I didn't get an answer, I sent another text asking for help with the cleanup. Adding all work 10 hours on both Monday and Tuesday. so this evening would be easiest. if they're busy with work on those days. Got some answers about how they didn't have time right now.

They needed to rest for the work week. Didn't have babysitters. and they wasn't involved in the planning. This really made me upset. I didn't ask for a party. I specifically told them that I didn't have time. for a party at the moment, but now I'm stuck with cleaning up after a party. So on Sunday evening after work at eight, I texted again asking who wanted to come over to help. Not a single soul answered. The dishes had began to smell at this point. so I didn't wanna leave it any longer. I don't have a dishwasher and the cleanup took forever.

When done after a few hours, I sent a text. I know I was a bit snarky. I essentially texted, 'I've cleaned everything by myself. No need for you guys to come over and help.'". - Stop. "I'm aware I'm the asshole for that text, but I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.". On Monday, my phone blew up with upset texts. on how they planned to help me. That I could have waited, that I wasn't fair. and that I'm too pushy needing to have everything done. at my place and way. I'm shocked. I didn't know my friends thought of me like that.

I have no interest in seeing them right now, but I'm thinking I might be the asshole. Maybe cleanup isn't something you ask about after a party? So Reddit, am I the asshole?". Okay. - I'm confused as to like why it's at their place. - I think everyone threw a surprise party at her place. while she was gone. Like they set it all up and set up a surprise party. I do think it's insane to set up a full ass. crazy surprise party for someone.

and just be like, "See yah.". - And then leave them with it. - That's kinda wild. - It's a little... But it's like, yes. I think this isn't like so cut and dry because it's like, yeah that is weird to throw the party. I've never heard of somebody throwing a party. for somebody at their house without their knowledge. - Unless it's a surprise party. - But if it's like lives there. - It's a significant other. - It's an insane thought.

to ask your friends to come back the next weekend. to like clean your place. - It should have been done that night. - Yeah, I don't think she's the asshole. I think her mistake was. - The text. - Halfway through the party. or at the end of the party being like, "Hey.". - "How are we cleaning this up?". - "Are are people gonna help me clean this up?". And if everyone was leaving, by the time. there was like a couple people left, I'd be like, "Hey, so is no one gonna help me clean up?".

- Right, you check in when it's time to check. - Yeah, I've never ever been at a party, not even surprise party, even a party that someone is throwing completely. on their own where people aren't helping clean up. I guess I just know a lot of people. What I would've done is make sure at the end of the party. being like, but I also, like I said, most people I know help out and clean. - Well, I mean, if they helped, if they did all this work to set up the party. in the first place, it's a little weird that nobody helped her clean up.

Also, I'm just wondering. how trashed was this place after like, something that sounded like a really pleasant happy party. There's some plates laying around, I don't know. Is it? - Yeah, let's see. There's some comments here. "Not the asshole. Organizing a party for someone without checking with them. about the timing and then leaving them. with the entire cleanup effort. is a pretty shitty thing to do. And two days of unwashed dishes. is way more than I would be able to stand.". Someone said, "You mean they didn't offer to cleanup.

before they left? Stand your ground but be prepared to lose a friend or two. Their loss, really. Not the asshole.". Someone said, "Happy birthday, here are some dirty dishes.". - Yeah, I mean, it sucks 'cause it sounds like. she made things really weird with her friends. by texting them all these snarky comments of like, "Well I guess nobody's gonna help me clean.". It's like, okay, y'all had like a really fun party. and now you're in probably the worst place. in your friendship. - Yeah, the mess was piling dishes,

trash and furniture needing to be moved back. See, that's really shitty to do that. and not help them move it. 'Cause that's like hard-. - That's hard to do. - One person. And I'm assuming it's a couch, like stuff like that. The verdict was not the asshole. But the OP commented, "Okay, I can see now that I'm the asshole. The party was amazing. I just wish they'd respected my wishes not to do something. right now and wait a while until life wasn't hectic as hell. But maybe this was the day that suited them the best.

I do think I acted in effect and reacted too strongly. Got nothing to blame except exhaustion and stress. and then get a big surprise task shoved under my nose. kinda broke my brain. They did an amazing thing and I acted ungrateful. Don't get me wrong. I thanked them during the party and during the text too. It's only on the last one I was a bit snarky. For future references, how long is it normal to wait for a response and help? I really thought two days weekend was enough time to wait. when it involved dishes and trash. And I never had a surprise party,

so I didn't know what the etiquette for the aftermath was. So in the future, I'll be thankful for anyone that helps. I'm gonna apologize to my friends. Thank you, Reddit for teaching me to be a decent human.". This has 70 down votes. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, 'cause everyone's like, "What?". - What? - "We all just said the opposite thing.". No, her friends ignored her. - Right. - Yeah. - And then she's talking about food on plates. and they're like, "Yeah, we're just waiting for a time to come do it. for the right day.".

- Yeah, no, that response is bullshit. - No, these people aren't... They threw a surprise party for her, but they don't seem to be her friends. - [Courtney] And fact that when she did get mad, they were like, "We were going to!". - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. That's some childish stuff. - She calls them out and they're like, "Yeah, we're totally gonna come back.". And no, they weren't. - No you weren't. It's been two days. - Oh no, no. It's clean already, oh no. But we were gonna, oh no. - Yeah, insanely bullshit. - Well. - Wow. - These have been some assholes. Thank you, both for being here for this.

- These ones are more sad than normal. I feel bad for- - There's a lot of like-. - I feel bad for a lot of these people. - I mean, that's how it goes sometimes. - Bad friends, bad relationships. This was all supposed to be about partying and having fun. - There's no good parties on Reddit. - And that's all, folks. (all laughing). - Well, thank you all for watching. Let us know in the comments what other kinds of themes, what other kinds of subreddits you want us to cover. and we'll do it. We'll see you next Saturday,

Courtney and Chance will be on the couch. More ridiculous Reddit Stories. We'll see you later. - Start saving up for my party. - $90. - $90. - $90. - Bye!