Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater | Reading Reddit Stories

- Welcome back to more unhinged, crazy "Reddit Stories,". a show where we read a bunch of Reddit stories, we react, we give our thoughts on it, our opinions, and we relate to them. Today I'm joined by Amanda and Angela, my Dungeons and Dragons friends. So there is a theme today. The theme is cheating. - Ooh. - [Shayne] Yeah. - That was the theme of my last birthday party. - [Amanda] Okay. (everyone laughs). - Whoa, what? - I'm kidding. - That's not fun. I don't think you are kidding.

- So almost I think all of these stories involve cheating. in some way or another. Whether they were being cheated on, they cheated on someone, I don't know. I will say for context, I have been cheated on, and it does suck. - Whoa. - And so I have a lot of opinions on cheating. - But I also got cheated on when I was like 16. And I was like, "It's the end for me.". (Shayne laughs). I literally was like, "I should just quit. "Quit everything.". And it was like, it was so brutal. I think what's hard for me about that cheating incident,

and I've only been cheated on once, but they lied about it. I confronted, they lied, and then their friends were like, "I can't let this go on any longer. "They did cheat on you.". And I think that's what really (beep) me over. - The person who cheated on me they told me. And so I was at least grateful, like I was at least about that. But it was still, still sucked. - Heartbreaking. - [Shayne] But it is the lying. - Yeah. - That is my ultimate take. But let's, we'll get into this. Are we ready for the first story? - Do you wanna say anything?

- Do you have any? - Yeah, sure. - Do you wanna say? - Yeah. - [Shayne] Do you have anything to say? - Yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, sure. I was just honestly waiting. - Do you wanna talk about what happened between us? - Angela's like, "Yeah, so I cheated on a ton of people.". - Yeah. So I can't stop cheating. No. (everyone laughs). No, I've never been cheated on. I mean, I do feel like emotional cheating, we all started learning what that was I think recently. It's up for debate. - I agree, I agree. - I think emotional cheating has come to light. in the last few years. - Is emotional cheating cheating?

- I think we'll learn that today probably. I think-. - I think we'll learn that today. I don't know. - But I do think it is. - I think so too. - Yeah, I think... - All right. Okay, here we go. "My boyfriend, who's 23, cheated on me, 21-year-old woman, "because he can choose who has access to his body.". All right. This was posted on Relationship Advice. "I found out on Thursday. "that my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me.

"for months with one of my childhood ex best friends, "a 20-year-old woman. "And it has completely and utterly wrecked me. "In all honesty, "I don't know if I'll ever be able to recover from this. "I loved and trusted him so much. "Our relationship was literally perfect. "And he had the nerve to cheat on me. "after telling me daily how he's never loved anyone. "as much as me. "I could barely even talk. "because I was out of breath from crying so much. "When I tried my best to formulate a coherent sentence. "and ask him why he would do this to me, "he simply responded by saying,

"'I can choose who has access to my body.'. "What? "This has mentally fucked me up, "and I still can't comprehend this situation. "He texted me today. "that this doesn't have to end our relationship, "and some paragraph asking me why do I care. "when it's his body and not mine? "I tried to explain to him. "that I valued him being faithful to me. "as a fundamental part of our relationship. "and not sharing his body with anyone else. "as I would be faithful to him.

"Also, we never agreed to be poly or anything. "He now says that he understands. "how much I value his physical body. "I never said that. "And will be fully aware of that going forward. "in our relationship. "I honestly don't think I can give him. "another chance though. "I literally thought I was going to spend the rest. "of my life with him. "But after what he has done, that's all out of the window. "It's just tough because I can think back. "about how I never loved or cared about my ex-boyfriends. "to the level that I do him.

"And it almost feels like I do still love him, "even after he completely violated me. "Are there any reasonable ways. "that I can go about this from here?". The way you go about it is not being. in a relationship with him. I mean... - Did he just discover the definition of body? (crew laughs). That he like wants to keep using it in a sentence? - So something I've been seeing a lot of people talk. about now is people who, you know, a lot of psychological and therapy terms. and just therapy speak is being thrown around.

on the internet now. And I do think a lot of people try to use it. for their own benefit. - Yeah, that's what I was thinking. - He's being manipulative, and he is trying to be like, "Well, no, see.". And he's using some weird wording. as opposed to being like, "Yeah...". He understands why this is fucked up. - Exactly. - He's just manipulating like monogamy, and wants an open relationship it sounds like physically. - But he's not communicating that. - But he's just being like, "This is my body. "And I have permission of that.". Like, it feels like he's just using words.

You're right. - He sounds really stupid. - [Angela] Sounds like word salad. - He sounds very stupid, but he is trying to essentially tell her that it's like, "Well, you don't have control over my body.". It's like, "That's not what we're talking about here, man.". - Literally, he read one book like on bodies, and he was like, "That is correct.". - He did not read a book, let's be honest. - He googled body. - He googled body, and he's like, "So that's what this is.". (Amanda laughs). To be clear, when you cheat on someone, you are putting them at physical risk of STDs and everything.

especially when you're not communicating with them. And she doesn't know how this was all going down. - Her body is at risk. because he wants his body to have another body on his body, but her body is not being respected. - This feels like an idiot. that like listens to the Me Too movement with one ear. and goes, "This is what it's about.". (Shayne laughs). "Permission for the bodies.". (Amanda laughs). - So there's some comments here. - Also ex-friend, you said ex-.

- Oh, it was with her friend. - It's her ex-friend though. Oh, now it's her ex-friend. - It was in parenthesis. He cheated on her with her friend who's now not her friend. So he fully gets it. I always feel so sad though in these, and I understand the headspace people are in, that she's like, "Is there any way that I can,". it sounds like she wants to try to like-. - [Amanda] Salvage it. - And it's like, this is gone, dude. - Yeah, I also feel like this just reeks of 23-year-old.

and 21-year-old dating. - Yeah. - It sucks. - No disrespect, but... - I am of an opinion, and people might disagree, that's okay, but when you're in your early 20s, and especially if you don't have kids, you don't have any like house together, whatever, if something like, even much less caliber than this happens, it's like walk away. Walk away. - That's good advice. - Experience other relationships. Do not stick with something. that is making you feel horrible. - That is great advice.

- I just don't think it's worth it, not when you're that age. - [Angela] 'Cause you're so young. - Yeah, man. And you don't realize how young you are until later. But also even if you're in your 30s. and someone does something like this to you, walk away. - Just like walk away. - But they're destroyed. I feel like this is... I do think that this is what we have to go through, like these like hardships to kind of grow. But like I feel so bad 'cause they're destroyed, and now their level of trust with not only their boyfriend. but a friend is totally shattered. - Yeah, I don't think that friend was a friend.

- No, not at all. So we got a bunch of comments here. The first comment, this is a very Reddit comment thread here really quick. - Okay. - I see this all the time. And someone commented, "And you get to decide. "that he no longer has access to your body.". Someone replied to that, "And her heart.". Someone replied to that, "And my axe.". And someone replied to that, "And my bow.". And someone replied to that saying, "And my sword.". - Oh my god. - Yep. - Sick. - Love. - Those types. of comment threads happen on every post.

Okay, so here's some serious comments. Someone said, "He's trying to play mind games with you. "to downplay the situation. "Make no mistake, it's cheating and he cheated. "His refusal to say 'I cheated'. "is how he's trying to avoid accountability. "No one says after two years of monogamy, "'Oh, I didn't realize. "'that our monogamy extended to sex with others.'. "You're better off without him.". Someone else said, "OP, you'll laugh at this someday, "though not now for sure, but you'll get over this and him. "You can comprehend this. "He cheated on you. "He gave a lame, ridiculous excuse to justify it.

"That's all. "You didn't have a literally perfect relationship. "You had a relationship with a sweet facade. "that has been ripped away. "You do need to break up with him. "You want monogamy, he doesn't. "You are not compatible. "He's lacking in ethics. "He's no brave and principled body autonomy warrior. "because if he was, he would've been honest and upfront. "about having sex with your ex best friend. "from the beginning, "so you could have decided if you wanted to stay with him.". - That's the therapist. that he discovered the word body from. (laughs). - And let's also be 100% clear,

he doesn't want an open relationship. because if she slept with someone else, this guy would lose his mind. I do not question that for a second. - He would be very jealous, I think. - Yeah. Here's our next story. "I cheated on my girlfriend of two years with an escort, "and the only thing that saved me. "was a trip to Panera Bread afterwards. "I'll never, ever do it again.". - La punk. (crew laughs). - Wait, this is mine. - We had two very different reactions to that title.

What was going on there? - No, sorry, I just got excited. And then I said an inside joke. Maybe that wasn't appropriate. - No, it's okay. - Can you say it again? I got excited 'cause I was like, "Oh my god, they're getting juicier.". And this happens to me all the time on "Reddit Stories.". After the first one, I get, "Oh, man! "Here we go!". - She settles in. - This one is insane. "I cheated on my girlfriend of two years with an escort, "and the only thing that saved me. "was a trip to Panera Bread afterwards. "I'll never, ever do it again.". So this comes from True Off My Chest.

where people can anonymously post confessions. So he is posting a confession here. "So me and my girlfriend have been dating for two years now. "I really love her, but I've had a sex addiction side to me. "that's taken over my life. "Guess I don't really love her. "if I'm cheating on her, right? "Well, after months of research, "I wanted to meet this escort. "who I've been seeing online in ads. "So I told my girlfriend goodnight. "and instead Ubered to the hotel. "where the escort is staying at. "She was beautiful, "but the whole time I was imagining my girlfriend. "It wasn't the best experience.

"After we finished, I left, "contemplated telling her but didn't. "So after I left, "I Ubered to Panera Bread to get something to eat. "My girlfriend knows I like going out to restaurants. "by myself. "I actually prefer eating alone. "as I get a lot of enjoyment out of it. "I finish and Uber home. "Two days later, she hits me with the, "'So did you go anywhere of note two days ago?'. "I say, 'No.'. "She then pulls up Uber receipts. "from my email showing I Ubered to a hotel. "I logged into my email. "on her computer a couple months back. "I was shocked. "I was caught, I felt ashamed, and I was shook.

"I didn't know what to do, "so I did the worst thing possible, I lied. "I said Uber took me to the wrong location. "since I'd only been there 20 minutes. "before Ubering to Panera. "She found that plausible, I guess. "I gaslit her saying that she doesn't trust me. "and that she doesn't love me, "that Ubering there was an honest mistake. "She knows it wasn't an affair. "because she's been with me the entire month. "It was just a quick 20 minute escort visit. "She couldn't ever imagine me using a sex worker. "So we argue, but ultimately we agree.

"that I went to Panera Bread and came home. "It's been two months since then. "I got an STD test and it came out clean. "I want to love my girlfriend the way she deserves, "although I know deep down I don't deserve it. "But again, who said this world is just and fair? "We're both extremely happy and in love. "I don't feel much regret anymore. "I hope we live happily ever after.". - Okay, 20 minutes? (crew laughs). - Okay, that doesn't allow for going up the hotel, going up the elevator, saying hi, getting going. - Foreplay. Taking off your boots.

My god, if you had boots on, that's 10 minutes. (crew laughs). What the hell is that? - That also means like, yeah, dropping off all the way up, calling an Uber to leave from there. - The boy saw this escort, did the thing immediately. - And then left and went to Panera. What'd he get? Broccoli cheddar? - Oh, we haven't even gotten to that. (Shayne and crew laugh). We can't even get into this yet! (crew laughs). I haven't even addressed the restaurant choice yet, Amanda!

I'm still on how fast he peepeepeed himself. - Ew. - Okay? 'Cause that's what people do when they (beep). They peepee. - No, peepee and (beep) are not the same thing. - And then we'll get to how late this Panera's open and how-. - Wow, I didn't think about that aspect. - What if he met the escort at 6:00 PM? Also, if my boyfriend was like-. - Well, she went to bed. It's after the girlfriend went to bed, I think, or said goodnight to her. - So either she's lame and goes to bed early,

or this Panera is open late. - Or this guy sucks, and he's like, "I'm gonna take an Uber to Panera. "to get broccoli cheddar soup and eat by myself. "'cause that's what I prefer.". - Why'd you Uber to Panera? Well, I got drunk. - Yeah, I got drunk. - He goes, "Babe, the broccoli cheddar makes me so nauseous. "You know I don't need to be behind the wheel after.". - [Amanda] My god. - So... - [Amanda] Nightmare. - This is the thing. This guy is awful. I can't believe he even wrote like, "I don't feel much regret anymore.". Like-.

- He's in denial. - Yeah. - Yeah, he's gonna like... Well, it makes you a worse person, I think. when you have to do that to yourself. and you have to like shove it away. You then I think you lose a part of your soul. 'cause you like start to lose empathy. - Yeah, or it's also what they say like. when you lie to yourself like so much-. - [Shayne] You start to believe it. - Especially with how short that was. He's probably just only thinking about Panera. and replacing it, especially with just the Uber ride. Just being like, "I only Ubered there.". - Well, and yeah, over time our memories alter. - [Angela] Yeah.

- Like, memories don't stay intact, so we can kind of alter our memories. So some funny wording here. After he says (laughs). So he's like, he talks about being with the escort. and he goes, "After we finished, I left.". And then after Panera Bread, he goes, "I finish and Uber home.". - This guy sucks, man. He peepeepees and (beep). - You know what's funny? He talks about he gets a lot of enjoyment. out of eating alone. I think he had more enjoyment from Panera Bread than-.

- Oh, 100%. - It sounds like he did. 20 minutes, he was probably at Panera for two fucking hours. - Dude, wouldn't it be so funny. if the escort went to Panera Bread too, and they both were just like, "Oh shit.". - She was like, "The broccoli cheddar makes me shit.". He's like, "Well, yeah, me too.". (Shayne laughs). - My personal take on this. is just like the reason I've never cheated on someone, the reason I can't is because I wouldn't be able to, like I can't keep secrets like that.

- No. Crumble. - The only way I could like get away with not telling them. is if I just broke up with them immediately. I'd be like, "We're done. "I'm done. "We're breaking up. "I gotta go.". And I'd have to leave. - Walk into a wall. - But I would still feel horrible. I would have to tell them. - That's why I think this guy is literally using Panana. Panana? - Panana Bread. - Whoa! Where'd you go? - That was so embarrassing. - Yeah, really embarrassing. - I think he's using Panera Bread literally as like a, like your brain's like trying to like heal itself. and like not go into trauma mode and like use it as like,

"That's the only reason why it went.". - Yeah. So we have a bunch of comments here. "Your girlfriend is only happy as you say. "because she doesn't know how disgusting you are. "You lied and gaslighted her, "and you're making light of it in the comments. "Consider the pain she will feel. "when she finds out and she will. "because you will become more sloppy and careless. "Consider the irreparable damage you're inflicting. "on her self-esteem by lying and gaslighting her. "and leave her alone.". He said, he responds, "Exactly my point. "It's been done. "I can live with the guilt and hurt I've caused.

"Why does she need to be in the crossfire? "I've changed, and I'm trying to be the best I can to her. "Sometimes it's not as simple as black and white morals. "She won't be able to live with herself if she knew. "I don't want her to feel that pain.". What a (beep) asshole. - God, crossfires. - Yeah, this guy sucks. - Someone else commented, "She needs to leave you before you do it again.". OP said, "Good thing she won't, and she'll never find out. "I have her right where I want her.". Smiley winky face. "I'm happy, she's happy, "and I don't plan to do it ever again.". So the commenter said,

"I'm sorry, but 'I have her right where I want her'. "gave me literal chills. "Do you understand just how disgusting you sound?". He said, "I admit that was a terrible choice of words. "I do feel remorse. "but think that this way is more optimal happiness situation. "for both of us. "I can't lose her even if it was my fault.". Another commenter said, "What a piece of shit. "This is so specific. "that here's hoping someone sees the post. "and shows the girlfriend.". Another commenter replied, "Assuming it's real, it looks like someone did.". (Amanda gasps).

Update. - Scroll down, scroll down! - Scroll down! - Let's go! - Oh my god, oh my god! In my fanfiction version of this-. - Whoa! - I printed out... (crew laughs). I print it out at all the Paneras. 'cause hopefully they go to Panera together. Know what I mean? - Do you want some of this blanket? I can't tell. - [Shayne] Here we go, here we go. - Get it off. - Okay. - "I am the girlfriend. "I left him. "Don't know what to do next.". Parenthesis, "It wasn't Panera Bread, by the way.". (crew laughs). - He lied about Panera Bread! - What? I made so many broccoli cheddar jokes.

(Shayne laughs). What the hell? - If he lied about Panera Bread, I don't know what to believe. - What could he be lying about? (crew laughs). Oh god, is it like Applebee's? - Oh my god! - How did she find this? Keep going. - "Where do I even begin? "It's been a whirlwind of the last six hours for me. "Thanks to Reddit for doing your thing. "I was tipped off by a girlfriend. "who saw the thing come up on her recommended feed. "I searched his phone and came across all kinds of messages. "with girls and escorts he didn't even bother deleting. "Coming across these things in the boyfriend. "who I thought was the most sweet guy on planet Earth.

"felt like a gut punch. "We were together for four years actually. "I can't believe he did this to me. "He looked at me and tried gaslighting me again. "about how that was all a work of fiction. "and that none of it was true. "It was just to provoke a reaction on Reddit. "But after seeing the messages, "I couldn't believe him anymore. "I gathered some things, left our apartment, "and I'm staying with my parents right now. "Lesson learned, y'all. "Don't trust Texas boys, where I'm from. "Besides that, I feel like I'm a candidate. "for Broken Heart of the Year. "because I've never felt so distraught.

"and betrayed in my life. "The pain I'm feeling can't even begin. "to be described by words. "Maybe I'll feel more and explain later, "but for now, I'm just sticking to the grieving process. "He was the love of my life. "He even met my mom and dad and my two younger brothers. "I thought I was going to be able to marry him. "and make him the happiest guy on Earth. "But it turns out he had other plans. "He ate at a Potbelly, not a Panera, by the way.". (Amanda laughs). "Weird way to try and disguise it. "Thanks again to Reddit. "You guys saved me. "I'm grappling with what to do next. "I don't know where to go in my life without him.".

- I thought Potbelly was only in the airport. (crew laughs). - I have never-. - What the hell? - Confession, I've never heard of Potbelly. - It's only in the airport, and it sucks. - I don't think they make restaurant. only for airports, Amanda. - You know what? - I think you're the weird one here. - I think you're insane, and you're gaslighting me right now. - Look, this is the thing that I have noticed is like, I think like if you're in a relationship with someone. or if someone's talking to you and they're like,

"Oh yeah, like I cheated, but I'm not gonna do it again,". it's like, you're probably gonna do it again. Like, especially if you're not telling them. and you're not communicating and you don't feel remorse. Like, he was lying to everyone. This guy's just a liar. - Did I hear that he had multiple escorts? - Multiple. Oh no, he had tons of messages with girls. He was lying to Reddit. He clearly was, as you were saying, he was lying to himself. He loves like telling this fiction to himself of like, "I did it once and it's fine.". But he's actively doing this all the time. - Why did he lie about Potbelly? - That is the biggest-.

- He was trying to cover his tracks. so that nobody would find the Reddit story. But he wasn't doing a good enough job. He's an idiot. - Have you guys ever. on "Reddit Stories" had someone pop up and go, "I am the other woman," in the thing. - Yeah, have you? - Like, when someone shows up in the comments. as a party of the story? - This type of thing does happen on Reddit a lot. - I've just never seen this. - People find Reddit stories. Like, if you're gonna post on Reddit being like, "Oh, I cheated on my girlfriend,". or, "I lied to my girlfriend,". it's like there's a good chance she's gonna find it.

They'll often be like, "My girlfriend's not on Reddit,". or like, "Throw away account. "so my girlfriend doesn't find it.". It's like, but you might have friends who have Reddit. and like they're gonna see it. - Or they might be watching a Smosh video. - It makes me also think that her friends (beep) knew. that this guy, and they saw this and like, "That's Steve. "That's Steve for sure.". - Some piece of trash that Ubers to a Panera. I know who that is. - [Amanda] Potbelly. - Potbelly. No disrespect, but... - Important information here. "Potbelly is a sub sandwich chain originated in Chicago.

"in the '70s. "They do milkshakes.". - [Angela] Only? - No, it's a sub sandwich chain. But they also have milkshakes. - So he wanted a sandwich and a milkshake after boinking it? - Probably 'cause his boink was only little little. because it was five minutes. And he probably was like, "I need something else.". - Okay. - I need something else. - All right, look, that one seems done. I'm happy she found out. I feel bad for her. But like, dude, she dodged a massive bullet.

This asshole was like, "We're gonna spend the rest of our lives together.". No, no. - "I got her right where I want her.". - [Shayne] She got out of it. Thank god. - That is some big betrayal legacy. - [Amanda] No, no, no. (laughs). - All right. Next story. "Am I the asshole. "for refusing to meet my boyfriend's friends. "unless they apologize to me?". Okay. "A couple of weeks ago," this is a 24-year-old woman. "My boyfriend, who's 27, friends found a Tinder account.

"with my pictures on it and matched with it. "I have not met my boyfriend's friends yet, "but they know what I look like. "because my boyfriend showed them pictures. "They showed my boyfriend the account, "and my boyfriend called me immediately to tell me about it. "I haven't used Tinder in over a year, "and Tinder is supposed to delete inactive accounts. "after seven days, so I knew it wasn't mine. "His friend also messaged with the account that weekend, "but I was with my boyfriend watching a movie. "at that exact time, "so my boyfriend didn't really believe the account. "was mine either. "But his friends weren't convinced that I wasn't cheating.

"I could hear them yelling things through the phone like, "'Make that bitch prove herself. "'Your girlfriend is a whore,'. "along with other really degrading names.". - [Amanda] I hate that. - "My boyfriend told them to shut up. "as I was on the verge of tears. "I went on FaceTime with all of them. "while the friend messaged the account. "They made me show my hands. "and my phone on the video call the whole time. "The catfisher messaged back, and I was proven innocent. "None of them apologized to me. "They only apologized to my boyfriend,

"which felt even more disrespectful. "Apparently those friends are hosting a party this weekend. "and my boyfriend wants me to meet the group. "for the first time, "but I don't want anything to do with them. "until they apologize to me for calling me names. "My boyfriend understands. "but also says that it would mean a lot. "if I could at least give his friends another chance. "since they were actually just doing their best. "to support him. "He has been cheated on in the past. "Would I be the asshole if I refused?". - You still don't call a woman a whore and like a bitch. - I think like-. - [Amanda] This makes me mad.

- It'd be one thing if they were just like, "Hey man, like we're concerned for you. "I don't know if I trust her," or whatever. This shows that he's friends. with a bunch of misogynistic people. - Yeah. - [Shayne] And so he by proxy probably is. - "You're a whore, put your hands up.". What? - Put your hands up? - Put your hands up, that's what they said. - [Courtney] They made her hold her hands up. as they DM the account. - What the-. - Like it was a full body slate. - That (laughs). (crew laughs). - Actor joke. - Willing to shave. You're outta control. You have way too many jokes sitting in the driveway, eh?

Turn that engine off, baby. (laughs). - That sucks. - That makes me really mad because the fact he, that just shows that he's not going to support her. in a time of need. - Absolutely. - I have personal things with like, like I feel like in my dating history, when your partner like gets like protective of their friends.

when their friends are kind of being like, I've never had something like that disrespectful. But when they're just like, "It would mean a lot if you just let that slide,". or, "It would mean a lot if you were friends. "with my friends.". And like, I just think I get it, and friends mean a lot to people, but like when they do something as blatantly disrespectful. to a woman like that, bro, the lines are pretty clear. - And manipulative too. - Yeah, they've been dating. for like a little over a year it sounds like. 'cause she hasn't used Tinder in over a year.

- Cut that shit down. - So we have some comments here. The verdict was not the, she wouldn't be an asshole for-. - Yeah. - [Shayne] If she refused to go see his friends. - Correct. - Someone said, "Not the asshole. "Stand your ground. "You humored them and went so far. "as to prove you were innocent. "The least they can do is apologize. "Red flag that your boyfriend. "doesn't think they owe you an apology.". Someone else said, "What the (beep). "Time to dump the boyfriend and his buddies. "Not the asshole. "But you're the asshole to yourself. "if you stay and continue to put up with these misogynistic, "degrading tests of loyalty.". Yeah, I fully agree. - [Amanda] Well, that's a little... - I'd say like, maybe just don't go to the hang.

Just give it a bit. - Yeah, or just be like, "I don't feel comfortable going to the hang. "after they called me a whore.". (Angela laughs). I feel like that's pretty obvious. - And they didn't apologize. - A bunch of dudes were like, "You fucking whore.". I'd be like, "Cool, I'm not coming over for a barbecue.". (crew laughs). - [Shayne] Yeah. - What are we talking about? - Also, look, my advice from earlier, she's 24. I'm just like, dude-. - [Angela] Walk away. - That big of a red flag, walk away. - Walk away. - [Shayne] Walk away. - Walk away, man. - Walk away, man. I'm just a believer in that.

I am. - Yeah. - Walk away. - But if people disagree, that's okay. So there's an update. - Ooh! - Update on this one. We've got a lot of updates today, I think. - These are so good. - "So much crazy shit has happened, "and I've just been trying to process it all. "I don't even think y'all are going to believe. "what went down. "After reading through the comments on my last post, "I told my boyfriend again that I was not going to the party. "because I felt disrespected by his friends. "and was disappointed that he did nothing. "to stand up for me. "My boyfriend apologized to me. "and made it up by spending the weekend with me at my place. "instead of going to the party.

"He told me that after he quit his job, "he would not contact any of his friends. "who refused to apologize to me. "None of them did. "His apology seemed genuine, "and him not going to the party convinced me. "that everything was good, so I didn't break up with him. "Flash forward to a few days ago. "My boyfriend and I were laying together in bed. "He was on his phone messaging some of his friends. "while I was watching TikToks. "At one point, I glanced at his phone. "while he was scrolling through his texts. "and saw that he had sent a bunch of screenshots. "of my pictures from Instagram to someone. "Even from far away I could tell. "that they were pictures of me.

"I didn't think much of it and even thought, "'Aw, he's showing his friends what I look like.'. "I was so dumb. "So before we went to sleep, I jokingly asked him, "'Hey, why were you sending my Instagram pictures. "'to your friends?'. "He went white, and there was so much panic on his face. "I immediately knew something was up and made him explain. "Apparently he sent my Instagram pictures to his friends. "so that they could make a fake Tinder account. "to see if I was really cheating on him. "because he had been cheated on in the past. "He felt so insecure in our relationship. "that he wanted to make sure I didn't have any dating apps.

"or was doing anything shady behind his back. "He thought the confrontation would scare me. "into a real confession. "But he didn't wanna seem like the bad guy. "with major trust issues, which is what he is, "so he had his friends confront me for him. "while he pretended to be on my side the whole time. "They saw my reaction to it all. "I was literally on the verge of tears the entire call. "and did not confess to anything they accused me of. "And they decided to play it off as a catfish. "So congrats to those of you in the comments.

"who guessed right. "The friends made the fake account. "I didn't believe it at first because I had no evidence. "and I hate making false assumptions about people. "Ironic, isn't it? "I also thought that they had no way to get pictures of me. "since my Instagram is private. "But how the (beep) was I supposed to know my own boyfriend. "was providing them to frame me? "Needless to say I dumped his ass. "He cried the whole time, "which was admittedly satisfying to watch but also painful. "Thanks for all the support. "Wish me luck in therapy.".

Whoa. - Wait. - So he was still-. - I'm confused. - He was still making up this. That's what's even weirder. - So the the Tinder account at the beginning. - [Amanda] Yeah. - That she was like, that they saw, that he came and he's like, "Hey, there's this Tinder,". or the friends were like, "Hey, we found a Tinder account your girlfriend has.". They made it. The friends made it. - [Amanda] Why? Why? - To test. - To test. - They wanted to see if... The boyfriend masterminded it. He had been cheated on in the past, so he wanted his friends to create a fake Tinder account.

with photos of her to then confront her with it. so that she would go, "Okay, yeah, I'm cheating on you.". - Yeah. - But she wasn't, so they had this big elaborate plan. to make her come clean. That obviously wasn't real. - What a psycho. - Yeah, she's going to therapy now, which is great. And he could have done that in the first place. - And he's going to hell. (crew laughs). - It's crazy to me. Like, when you get to that point, it's like, "Oh, maybe I shouldn't be in a relationship.

"Maybe I'm not ready for this. "Maybe I should go talk to a therapist for a while. "and work through this and then-". - Does his friends have girlfriends? That's what I wanna know. - Dude, if someone came to me and was like, "Hey, we're gonna do this whole thing,". I'd be like, "No man, I'm not-". - [Amanda] Psycho. - "I'm not gonna do that.". That's a lot. - Be like, "Hey, we figured out a way. "to find everyone cheating because we believe in a world. "where everyone's freaking cheating. "and all women are whores. "And this is what we do. "We create fake accounts, "so then we catch 'em in the act. "because basically everybody's cheating.".

(Amanda laughs). I'd be like, oh no, you're all hurt. (crew laughs). - Thanks to fake Tinder, my wife divorced me. - Yeah. What? - Oh no. They're all so hurt it feels like. - Thank god she ended that. Like, can you imagine if she got married. and the shit he would come up with? - I'm so glad a lot of these people are like discovering. and like walking away from these relationships. And like, I'm also a believer in like. when you have that level of suspicion,

it's like, "Oh, I need to work on this. "or like this relationship won't work.". Like, when you're at that level of suspicion, it's not working. Like, something's gotta give there. - And his friends aren't healthy. - If he continues with this framework, he's never gonna end up in a successful relationship. - Not with those friends. - He's never going to trust anyone again. - But this is also like what they say about like manifesting. when they were like, when you're so scared of bad things happening. that you're always saying the bad thing happening. He's making the bad thing happening. - Yeah, he is. - Yeah, his paranoia is ruining his relationships.

He needs to go to therapy. He needs to like be real with himself and be like, "Oh, I have trust issues. "I should work through that.". This episode is brought to you by Shady Rays. Shady Rays is an independent sunglasses company. that offers premium polarized sunglasses. that are just as good as any expensive pair. They have durable frames and extremely clear optics. for any of your outdoor adventures. That's not all. Shady Rays offers the most insane protection. in all of eyewear. Every pair of sunglasses is backed by lost. and broken replacements.

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on some days. And I wanted to work through it, and I wanted to figure out why. And something that really helped me was seeing a therapist. It helped me organize my thoughts, it helped me figure out where this was coming from, and it's helped me kind of move through it and navigate it. And I know therapy can be great for you too. And a great place to start is with Better Help. It's entirely online so it can be flexible. and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a questionnaire,

and you'll be matched up with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time. for no extra charge. So let therapy be your map with Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com/pitreddit today. for 10% off your first month. That's Better Help, H-E-L-P, .com/pitreddit. All right, back to the show. "Am I the asshole for calling the police on my fiance? "Last night, my," this is a 35-year-old man, "my fiancee, who's 38, 38-year-old woman,

"left in the evening to give a friend's son a ride back. "to his home. "She implied she'd be home before 9:00. "She left around 7:45. "10:15 rolls around and she still wasn't home. "I texted, and she apologized to me saying. "that her friend's son was actually in the next town over, "maybe 30 minutes away, and she was coming home now. "11:45 rolled around and she still hadn't come home, "so I called her to no answer, texted her to no response. "I was getting very upset. "12:30 rolled around and still no response. "and no answer to my phone calls.

"I was extremely angry. "1:30 rolled around, "and my anger had completely transformed into worry. "Not answering my calls and texts not read. "Around 1:45, I called the police. "I have always heard. "that the first 24 hours of someone being missing. "is the most important, so I didn't wanna delay. "I asked 'em to let me know. "if there had been any traffic accidents involving her car. "and the operator told me that they would put out the word. "and send some cops. "to check along the routes she would travel. "I called all the hospitals in the area. "to see if she had been checked in, "and I waited outside watching the road.

"for her car for three hours, "partially because I didn't want the kids to hear me. "on the phone with hospitals. "And secondly, because I was sick with worry. "At 7:00 AM, she came home. "She apologized for being out, "and she said she had no excuse. "She was driving home and felt tired, "like she was falling asleep at the wheel. "So she pulled over to the side of the road to sleep. "When she did that, "she found that her brand new phone had stopped working. "She says she napped anyway. "because it was the responsible thing to do. "And then came home at 7:00 AM to bring the kids to school.

"and get to work on time. "I immediately called the police. "and told them that she had come home safely. "and gave them the case number. "and told them to stop searching, which they did. "My fiancee brought the kids to school and left for work. "I set out to start cleaning. "Cleaning de-stresses me sometimes. "And I got a call from a policeman asking where she worked. "I told him and asked why. "And I was informed that it was their policy. "to check on the person's wellness. "after a missing person is found. "I asked them to not go by her work, "but to give her a call instead.

"He said he couldn't promise. "My fiancee is relatively new to her job. "A police officer showed up and asked to speak with her. "She's now enraged at me for calling the police. "and sending a cop to her work and making her look bad. "She's saying I overreacted and that she wasn't missing. "and that I was punishing her. "for doing the responsible thing. "and not driving while drowsy. "She's saying that she is never going. "to leave the house again except for work. "because she's afraid I'm going to call the cops. "on her again. "So did I overreact? "Should I have waited two days like she suggests?".

- No, the first 48. Everyone knows that show. First 48 is very important to catch a suspect. and find the missing person. - We don't talk about this a lot. I don't think we said it on camera. - We are obsessed with the same TV shows. - We're obsessed with "Dateline.". We're obsessed with true crime. - Lester Holt is a god. - Believe it or not, we're true crime junkies. - I finished "Dateline NBC.". - Every true crime episode, she literally keeps up to "Dateline,". and there's thousands of episodes. - I finished it. I'm waiting for the next one to come out. Now I'm on a weekly.

- So those are obvious things. - I don't think he overreacted. - I think he actually did everything right. - So I haven't scrolled down yet. to see if there's an update, but I feel pretty certain she cheated on him. - Yeah. - You know what actually seems to be the most telling for me. is the like the getting angry and like making him feel bad. and the like putting it on him. That's such a like telltale. - Exactly, and that's what shows. - It is so consistent. - Guilty. Guilt. - Because if I had actually fallen asleep,

that probably would've been scary. And if my phone had died, that probably would've been scary. So then if the cops came the next day, I bet I would've been like, you know what, this all makes kind of sense. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. - So we have comments here. "No, you're not the asshole, "but you know she's lying, right?". Someone said, "Not the asshole. "I don't believe her story one bit. "Driving a kid home and disappearing. "for the entire night is a massive red flag. "How does she not even know where he lives. "when she started the drive? "How old is this kid? "Pulling over and sleeping on the side of a road. "for a 30 minute drive is nuts.

"She's now turning this around. "to say she's the victim of your actions.". Someone else said, "Not the asshole. "She said she was on her way home at 10:15 PM. "and then disappeared until 7:00 AM? "Of course you're gonna call the police. "and have them go looking for her. "If she'd been in an accident or worse, "she would've been dead if you'd waited two days to call. "That being said, "she's definitely lying about what happened. "It honestly sounds more like she fell asleep. "at her affair partner's place. "and concocted that bogus excuse to cover her ass.". Someone said, "I think your fiancee.

"is getting railed two towns over, my guy.". Ooh. - Oh my god. My guy. - My guy. - This guy's like-. - Listen, my guy, I think your fiancee's getting railed two towns over. - And I think you sent the cops the next morning. to check if she got railed correctly. (Shayne laughs). - Yeah, good on you, my guy, my guy, my guy. - Was she there for only 20 minutes? (everyone laughs). - Potbelly. - Okay. We have an update. (Amanda gasps). Of course. - Wow.

I feel like I'm watching a movie. - [Shayne] So, all right. - 'Cause women can cheat too. - Yeah! (everyone laughs). - "First of all, "thank you to those of you who offered kind words. "and solid advice. "This update is likely to disappoint some of you. "as it does me. "My fiancee and I have been fighting solidly. "since before I posted my last thread. "It's been exhausting. "I called her out on her obvious lie, "and she fumed at how awful I was for calling her a liar. "From then on, "it was as if she was falling down a smooth well. "desperately clawing and grabbing at anything she could.

"to blame me for as she went deeper and deeper. "I'm not a perfect man, "but in this particular situation I was an angel, "so she had nothing to grab onto. "I did a lot of soul searching. "and I made a call that most of you will hate. "I decided to bury the hatchet. "I love her very, very dearly. "I had no proof of a lie, and I wasn't too concerned. "about what she was really up to anyway. "Our relationship is open, "so even if she fucked around, I didn't care much.". Okay. - Okay? - "She still fought with me though.

"The fight continued to the point. "where she broke up with me, but not really, "which was a common tactic she had used before. "I called her on it, and she fought with me still. "I asked for space for a night, "so I could sleep off the exhaustion. "And she got upset and told me I was neglectful. "and selfish for not going to her and making up in person. "I am stupid, I'm aware of it. "Even through all of this, I was apparently able to believe. "that what she said in emotion wasn't really her talking.

"Today I was having lunch. "Money has been tight lately for some reason.". Weird. "So I flipped through my wallet to find my credit card, "which was missing. "Well, you see where this goes. "She had stolen it. "She cited our desire to join lives together. "and merge finances and that when I lent her my wallet once, "she took it so she wouldn't have to bother me. "by asking again. "This credit card is mine under my name. "and for emergencies only. "She was using it for the last month and a half. "While she has been decent enough to pay back some of it, "there was still a $1,500 balance on it.

"that hasn't been paid. "She says that it's hers just as much as mine. "and resents me calling her a thief. "A lot of the uses were spent at ATMs for cash withdrawals. "and some interesting ones at the casino. "Those of you who guessed gambling. "were probably right on the money. "At that point, I admit I lost it. "I am a very calm person, "but there was only so much denial of reality. "that I could take. "It's still blurry, "but I said a lot of horrible things to her. "and am in the process of evicting her from my life. "I'm canceling everything that is in my name.

"that she's a part of, including the new phone line, "canceling her car insurance. "and reclaiming my car that I gave her and she has trashed. "Apparently I can handle lies, cheating, and secrets, "but who knew theft was my line? "Learning experience. "Now thinking back, I can identify lots of sketchy shit. "that my love goggles blinded me to, "but there's a pretty strict character limit.". You know, gambling addiction it also fits so perfectly. into that story that I did not-. - I had no idea. - To be fair, the theme is cheating, but... - But that was a fun little surprise. - But, you know, also in my mind-.

- So fun. - Not for him, but yeah. - Like, cheating to me. Like, obviously we talk about cheating. in regards to like romantic. and sexual cheating. - Physical and emotional. - Cheating to me is also just a matter of like living a life. that you're not communicating with your partner. Like, it's more about the lying aspect. And going off and gambling and not telling your partner, I'm like, that's cheating. Like, you're going like... - That's hard 'cause that seems like an addiction. - Yeah.

Oh, it's also a devastating addiction. Like, it is a endless well of an addiction that is very-. - A well? - As he described. But like, really, she sounds like a horrible mess. I mean, it's sad, but also he's-. - But now he gets to recognize all the flags. Like, oh, I gave her the car, she trashed it, she's on my phone line. You know what I mean? - Yeah, and also like, you know, this stuff, like even with an open relationship, like not communicating and lying and like disappearing.

and then making them feel bad is still not acceptable. You know, they still gotta call it quits on that. So I'm glad he's recognizing it and getting outta there. - Wow, poor guy. - [Shayne] Yeah, that was a wild ride. - Yeah, that was really, I feel bad for him. - [Shayne] I feel bad for him too. - I feel bad for her a little bit. - Me too. - I do feel bad. It sounds like she has serious issues. 'Cause that also fits with gambling addiction. where when you're accused you're gonna be like, "Hey, (beep) you.". Like, whatever. - Yeah.

- Sad. - I thought for sure she was boning that guy. - Me too. - Well, he wouldn't have cared about that. As he said. - Yeah. - Apparently he didn't care. - And that's why the cheating is that. It's just deception in any form. - All right, next story. Here we go. This is from True Off My Chest. So this is like a confession someone's making. - Oh boy. - "I wish my husband would cheat on me.". - Oh, honey. (Amanda laughs). - Night night. - Oh.

Do you think she cheated on him. and she wants him to cheat on her? - Or even worse, she's bored. - Oh. - [Shayne] All right, we got two predictions. - That is worse. - There's the predictions. All right. "I, a 28-year-old woman, have spent every day. "for the past year wishing my 27-year-old husband. "would cheat on me, so I had a valid out.". Oh. - Oh. Ouchie wouchie. - "I hate being married. "My husband would rather spend time with his brothers. "and parents than with me.

"We've been at his parents' house. "for the past three weekends. "Once we leave there, he gets on video games with them. "until all hours of the night. "I haven't been to bed with my husband in weeks. "Sex is non-existent in my marriage right now. "It's not just about the sex. "He complains about me all the time. "to my face and behind my back. "I've overheard him telling people that I'm annoying. "or that I nag a lot. "I don't feel like I ask more than any other wife. "I don't get home until past 7:00 most nights. "because I have to pick up the kids, "and I don't ever ask him to pick them up or to make dinner.

"I ask for him to help clean up the house. "and to help me put one of the kids to bed. "He only willingly put one of the kids to bed. "My house hasn't been clean-". - And the other one, what happened to the other? - Just like, ah. - Mom? - "My house hasn't been clean in months. "He just will not do chores. "He ran out of clean underwear a few weeks ago. "and told me it was my job to do laundry, "essentially blaming me. "The man also refuses to take care of himself. "He complains when I cook. "because I'm trying to cook healthy meals. "and he doesn't like vegetables. "He won't go to the gym with me, "but instead insists on playing video games.

"Obesity runs in his family, and I'm trying my best. "to encourage a healthy lifestyle change. "I know he is depressed, "but he won't talk to someone or get on medication. "It doesn't matter how I try to encourage him. "He would just rather suffer. "All this to say I don't feel like it's a good enough reason. "to get a divorce. "I'm unhappy in my marriage, but it can be fixed. "Both parties be willing of course. "He's just not willing. "I just wish he'd cheat on me, "so I felt like I had a valid reason to get divorced. "At this point, it wouldn't even hurt me that much.".

She also says, "I was raised extremely religious. "Leaving without a good reason, i.e. cheating, "is very frowned upon. "I guess I still have that pounded into my head. "and that is why I don't feel like my reasons. "are good enough.". - This guy's not gonna cheat on anyone. He is on his video games. He's, you know, playing with elves. You know, he's not-. - Oh my god. Is that the end of the post? - This makes me depressed. - So we have comments here.

"Being extremely unhappy with a partner that is not active. "in your marriage is a totally valid reason. "for getting a divorce.". Someone else said, "As someone who was in your position. "and dealt with it for four more years, "please don't wait for a valid reason. "Your reasons are valid. "Move on with your life. "I spent four years unnecessarily miserable.". Someone else said, "Why'd y'all get married in the first place? "File a no fault divorce.". She responded, "Being raised Mormon, "we never lived together before we got married. "Beyond that, we were pushed into marriage really fast. "We started dating officially in March.

"and were married in October. "We had dated in high school, so I felt like I knew him. "It was definitely a rush decision. "Had I lived with him before we got married, "I never would've married him.". - God. - That's tough. - She needs to divorce him. - She does, and I also get, so she probably has a Mormon family, and so she's probably worried. about how people are gonna view her. That moral dilemma, you know, if you're raised in that, I can see being tough, but like, dude. - She's gotta hire that escort from the other story. and have her pop over and do five minutes and then out.

- And then head over to Potbelly to get a milkshake. I think like there's another thing here where it's like, where like women, especially in like religious cultures, like sometimes will only feel like they could do something. if wrong has been done by them. Like, she wants him to do wrong. so she could stand up for herself. instead of just like... - Right. - [Angela] You know what I mean? - I also think there's probably an element there too. that I think is true that, you know, if she divorces him, like people I think in society do like go,

"Oh, she gave up on him.". - No, for sure. - "He didn't even do anything wrong.". Like, "Oh, so he's sad and like whatever.". Whereas I think when men do that, it's not frowned upon the same way. - Yes, no, it's so true, yeah. - Especially like in I think religious households, I think that there's a lot of guilt and shame. and like do not give up on, 'cause like I come from Portuguese Catholic, Irish Catholic, you do not get divorced. But like there's a ton of divorce in my family. 'cause it's like, wait, that's not okay.

Like, happiness is important. And also doing it for the kids, in my opinion, I don't know. - Wait. - Like, coming from divorced parents, it's like the kids aren't happy if you're not happy. - Yeah. - Wait what? - But this is the cheating episode. Does she have a second wind? - Well, there is an update. - And it's called "Second Wind.". - [Shayne] There's an update. Let's see. - Does she meet a Fabio? - It's called "Wind Beneath My Wings.". - It's a short update, so I don't know what happens here.

"I decided to try to talk to him today. "about how I was feeling, "and ultimately packed me and the kids up. "I'll be staying at my mom's. "for an undecided amount of time. "Therapy around here is either very expensive. "or very hard to come by. "But we both agreed to give it a shot. "I know it's weird to need a bunch of internet strangers. "to give you the extra push, "but thank you for giving it to me. "I genuinely didn't feel like I deserved to leave. "without a good reason. "I've been told all men are like this, "so I've just dealt with it. "Whatever happens next is for the best.". - Okay, that's awesome.

- Is there another update? - No, there's not. But we'll keep an eye out. - [Angela] No, but this is cool. - [Amanda] This is really cool. - Because it felt like she gained some strength. via some comments. - Yeah, I'm not upset about that. if they're going to like seek professional help. and like really try, really try because he's not, look, I don't like anything of what he is doing. He needs to like help out. It does suck how accepted it is. that men just don't do anything in the house. But I understand maybe he's going. through a lot of mental health crisis. But they need to try to fix things.

- Work it out. - They need to work on things together, and he needs to be a willing participant in that, especially if they have kids. - Yeah. - That is where I start to feel, I don't feel different. If there's a serious issue, it's like, yeah, get the hell outta that relationship. - [Amanda] Walk away. - Something like this, it's like when you do have kids, like I get the like, "Well, like we should try.". But if they try and he still doesn't, then it's like, well, you have no choice. Sad. Well, I hope they work out. - Yeah.

- All right, next one. "Am I the asshole for laughing at my brother's tattoo?". (Amanda laughs). I guess there's cheating involved, maybe. This is a pretty cut and dry scenario. It's a 32-year-old man. "My little brother, who's 25, "has been in a string of relationships. "since he was young enough to know what dating was. "On several occasions, the relationships ended. "because he was caught cheating with another girl. "These are just the ones that I know about. "There could be more. "In fact, his current girlfriend, who's 19, "was the other woman from his previous relationship. "He, I'll call him Danny, still lives with my parents,

"and I headed over on the fourth for barbecue. "When he reached out for a hug, "I noticed his arm was super red, "and he showed me his brand new tattoo. "that he had literally just gotten. "In huge words it said 'loyalty' in cursive. "Where I might be the asshole is that I kind of laughed. "as soon as I saw it and didn't try to hide it at all. "It wasn't a dramatic laugh. "He said, 'What's so funny?'. "And I just said his tattoo was really ironic. "He got pissed and stormed off to his room. "and didn't join my parents and I. "plus our sister for dinner.

"I told them what happened, "and they said I was being an asshole. "And my sister said people are allowed to change. "I personally think he's acting like a child. "by locking himself in his room. "and that I shouldn't be blamed. "for a 25-year-old storming off.". Dude. - That's ridiculous. - That reaction makes me think he's probably. definitely still cheating and gonna cheat. - This guy sucks. - Oh, that guy sucks so much. - He's like, "Loyalty, love death, love your woman.". And he is like, all right. And it's just, and now he's in his room just like, "You guys are so mean.". - It's so funny how consistent that shit is.

Like, people who project that stuff of like, like it's like the-. - Family. - It's like the pastors who are like specific. on a certain topic and then they get caught. - Why is that? - Doing that certain, that specific thing. - It would be like if Arasha sucked, she'd get a tattoo that said honesty. (everyone laughs). And then we'd be like, "That's kind of funny.". And she'd be like (groans) and walk away. (Shayne groans). - It's because people like get mad, people judge other things in others. - They overcompensate, yeah. - When they're judging themselves. - Yeah, but she doesn't suck. So she would get that and she'd be like, "How funny is this?".

- She'd be like, "Honesty. (chuckles). "Right?" - But he sucks. 'cause he's insecure about it and can't, that's crazy. - Exactly. - There was someone I knew, I'm gonna keep it very vague, who would on Facebook be very judgmental. of like other people in their relationships. and like openly talk shit. And she had been on "Maury Povich.". (Amanda and Angela gasp). It's like... What? (laughs). Like, people know who you are. - You are the father. - But that's what people do. People do that shit. - [Amanda] Oh, I know. - It's so true. - They project what they judge in themselves all the time.

- Yeah, it's so true. - It's wild. - Yeah, the comments, "Not the asshole, and it is ironic.". Someone else said, "I'm sorry, but not the asshole. "Someone who cheats hardly gets to be upset. "that someone laughed at them for tattooing the word loyalty. "on their body.". Another commenter said, "Maybe he's loyal to cheating.". Someone said, "Loyal to him peepee.". (Amanda laughs). All right, here we go. - Okay. - This is on Relationship Advice. 21-year-old guy. "My girlfriend, who's 23, is currently working a food truck.

"at a music festival this weekend, "and I think she's cheating on me. "I'm losing my mind. "My girlfriend, Stella, "and I have been together for a year now. "I love her so much, it's stupid. "And this situation has brought such a crazy amount. "of anxiety. "I had a full panic attack yesterday because of it. "She had the opportunity to work. "on a food truck this summer, "which has allowed her to get into a few festivals for free, "and I hate it so much. "One of the guys she works with is an attractive dude. "who's in his late 20s, "and I'm convinced they're sleeping together. "The group for this current trip is my girlfriend, "another girl about the same age, "the older guy, let's call him John,

"and the couple that owns the truck/business. "We ran into John in public once, and Stella introduced us, "but the way they looked at each other. "made me feel so uncomfortable. "She lit right up when she saw him, "and now they're at this festival, "and all five are sharing a tent together, "and it makes me sick. "Before she left, I brought this up, "and she reassured me again and again. "that it's nothing at all and she's there to work. "When he picked her up to drive to the festival, "I helped her carry a bag, "and he didn't even get out of the car to talk to me. "Just gave me a measly, 'Hey dude, how's it going?'.

"while she got into the passenger seat, "and it just pissed me off. "She also seemed so off when she hugged. "and kissed me goodbye in front of him. "Yesterday, I was texting her and she barely ever replied. "She basically ignored me all day, and it made me so sick. "My friend told me she's probably cheating on me. "based on her behavior. "She ended up texting me in the evening before bed, "but it's the same deal again today. "Barely replying at all. "And she spent the night in the tent, "which made me nauseous to think about. "I didn't sleep a wink. "I'm absolutely convinced she's cheating on me.

"I don't trust her behavior at a music festival, "nor do I trust the people there, especially John. "I feel so insecure. "and scared that she's going to cheat on me. "She has a couple more food truck weekends to work. "at other events, and I don't want her to do it anymore. "I want it to end now. "How can I convince her that her working the truck. "is (beep) with my mental health so she stops? "How can I get her to stop talking to John? "How can I know for sure she's cheating on me?". Okay. - Okay buddy. You're being controlling. - Yeah, it's like I said earlier,

I'm like, if you're feeling this way, you need to get outta this relationship. because you can't handle this. He's in such a bad place. - That's her job. Like, it's like, "How can I get her to stop working. "and stop leaving the house?". It's like you don't. - Yeah, like a lot of this, and obviously we don't witness these events, we're hearing him talk about this. But a lot of this feels like perception and not reality. And like her casualness makes me like be like, yeah, there's no proof of anything.

- Yeah. - You're just a very suspicious person. Now, could it turn out she's cheating? Sure, because like you never know, I guess. - And you never know how it escalates. Like, it could have, like you always have to think about like the way it starts. in the beginning of a relationship. where like he could have very helpfully been like, "This is starting to make me feel a certain way," right? And that's like valid and allowed. - Yeah. - It's once it gets to an extreme place. where a partner's demanding something of another. in order for one to be happy, healthy, and well. - Yeah, don't do what you love, so I can sleep well.

- Yeah, that feels a little demanding and like controlling, but yeah. - Yeah. Yeah, I think he's overthinking it personally. And I just... This level of trust is not gonna get there. He's admitting like, "I don't trust her there.". It's like, well, you don't trust her, so you shouldn't be in a relationship with her. Like, then you've gotta work on that. - Maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship at all. - He's 21. It's one of those things where it's like, you need to work on this- - [Amanda] Oh boy. - Or you need to-. - Just walk away.

- Oh, just walk away. - So got some comments here. This is funny and it's true. "You think she's fucking him in a tent. "with five people in it? "A music festival sounds like a pretty. "logistically inconvenient place for them to be doing it. "During the day, she's working. "During the night, there are others literally inches away. "Plus some of what you regard. "as evidence sounds frankly unhinged. "Not getting out of the car, "getting into the passenger seat, giving you a hug first? "Get a grip. "Maybe lose the friend who is winding you up so tight.". That's true. - So true. - The friend who's like,

"Oh, she's probably cheating on you.". It's like, dude. - That friend's like, "Bro, they're in that grilled cheese truck sucking. "and fucking.". (everyone laughs). - What kind of food truck is it? It's a Potbelly truck. Oh! - Oh, they're boinking, man. - Someone else said, "This woman is working at a high volume festival. "I guarantee you she has absolutely no time to text you. "during the day, and she is likely crashing hard at bedtime. "There was no need for him to get outta the car. "to greet you. "They were headed to work. "You're his coworker's boyfriend, not his date's dad. "None of the signs that you've mentioned sound valid.

"This sounds more like personal insecurity. "Have you been cheated on in the past?". He said, "No, but my parents' divorce. "was because my dad cheated on my mom. "I have a half-sister in France I've never met. "It (beep) with me." - Okay? You have a half, go to (beep) Paris and have a good time. and meet your half-sister. - No, I've never been cheated on, but I'm halfway through "Breaking Bad.". What? (everyone laughs). Like, what, dude? - Also, she probably loves her coworker. because he doesn't (beep) try to control her, and she probably gets a rest.

- Yeah. - But sometimes when one parent has a kid. that you've never met, do you know how that (beep) with you? - What are you saying? - I'm making-. - Oh. (laughs). I have a half-sister in Paris, France! Like, go (beep) live. - No, I've never been cheated on, but like I own a pair of jeans that I'm still breaking in, and they just won't break in. - It's just so far, France. - That just feels like very-. - I can't get a ticket right now.

- So someone else said, "If you don't trust her, then break up. "You cannot put her in a cage to put your mind at ease.". That is exactly how I feel. He made an edit here. "Adding some justification to my feelings.". - [Amanda] Ooh, edit. - "I know this sounds a bit controlling, "but she never wears makeup. "And I saw her on her Instagram story. "that she's wearing makeup. "I do think this girl is way outta my league, "and she's my first girlfriend. "I don't really know what I'm doing, "but I don't like when she does that and she knows that. "Also, John was in a relationship up until a few days. "before this festival,

"so he is probably trying to rebound as guys tend to do. "Obviously my girlfriend would be a solid option. "And I've been to music festivals. "People are crazy. "Girls have their tits out and guys are maniacs. "Why would the situation be any different?". - I love that this is his edit to say he is not controlling. when it sounds like he's even more controlling. - And I think his friend is winding him up. He is like, "Dude, they're listening to Corinne Bailey Rae, "and they are grinding.". - Girl, put that record on, and they are grinding. Yeah, it's also makeup. - Such a good point.

- It's a music festival. - She knows I don't like music, and she knows I don't like makeup, so what? - Makeup. She put makeup on. Oh my gosh, that woman put makeup on. And also having a half-sister is such a scary thing. because is she related to me or not? - And I can't get a ticket right now to go see her. - And look, I do especially like back when you're 21, I relate to the feelings of just like, oh shit, like she, feeling like you don't deserve someone and feeling like, "Damn, she's way outta my league. "And that guy's so cool.".

- And that's what it is really, I think. - Oh, he's insecure. Like, and you gotta be honest with that and be like, "(beep). "Like, damn, I don't feel like I'm good enough sometimes.". But you gotta be like, "Oh, that's a me problem.". - Yeah, and also like, I feel like yeah, I am coming a little hard for him, but I'll say like on social media, it does, like things, especially music festivals, always feel, like look like more fun and look sexier. than I think they are. - [Shayne] Absolutely. - Like, it looks like no one's wearing clothes, but they're actually all just sweating a shit ton. - They're hot.

- And they're like all close, but they're all like, 'cause it's outside. You know what I mean? - They all smell like dog shit. - Social media adds so many layers to this. - And especially when you look up the guy she's with. I've spiraled personally when someone I am looking at is, or like when a partner's hanging out with someone. who's just out of a relationship. I have fallen down the spiral. - Yeah. - You have to not be obsessive. You can't. - Yeah, you can't. You really can't. You have to get over that. - The makeup for me. - To me, he's just very controlling.

- Yeah. - If he just admitted like, "I'm really insecure. "I think I'm not hot enough for my girlfriend.". - [Shayne] Exactly. - "And I'm getting worried that I'm losing-". - I think if he communicated that to her, that would be huge. If he was just like, "Hey, I just want you to know, "like I sometimes feel like I don't deserve you. "You're so awesome." - But god. - [Shayne] "And I do overthink it, I'm sorry.". - It's so annoying that our culture has made us wear makeup. because we're supposed to do that, and then it's a threat when we do it, and it's just like so-. - We can't win. Sometimes women just cannot win. - There's a lot of layers there of makeup.

- I love that. - Oh, honey. I like that. - Okay, all right, here we go. - Okay. - So this is gonna be a doozy. This is gonna be a lot. "Am I the asshole for being very harsh?". It's a 36-year-old woman. "My son, who's 14, has been acting out a lot. "I'm trying to give him appropriate consequences, et cetera, "but his father/my ex. "just undoes everything I try to implement. "My ex, a 36-year-old man, "doesn't care if our son does anything. "as long as it doesn't affect his athletic abilities, "and it's created a cool dad and evil mom dynamic.

"Anyways, I had a mini vacation planned for the weekend. "I have a family owned house in this beach town, "and my son and stepdaughters love going down there. "The thing is I got a call from a friend saying. "that her daughter is a mess because of my son. "He asked the poor girl out and when she said yes, "he laughed at her and said some really cruel things. "I was horrified. "I asked him about it, "and he rolled his eyes and told me that it was just a joke. "When I tried telling him that these jokes hurt, "he told me I was being ridiculous.

"and that his dad and stepmom would think it's funny. "He then said that he wishes I was as cool as his stepmom. "I told him that I'm his mother. "and that my first priority is being his mom, "not being cool. "I then told him. "that we're no longer going to the beach house. "He also has to apologize to the girl. "And if he ever bothers her or any other girl again, "then the consequences will be a lot worse. "I then proceeded to drive him to the girl's house. "and made him apologize to the girl in front of her mom. "He said he was sorry, and I also said it.

"I bought her a necklace and took the money for that. "from my son's allowance as well. "The girl was a lot happier, "and her mom said she appreciated the apology. "While driving back home, my son started yelling at me. "and said that that was the most embarrassing thing. "he's ever had to do. "I told him to imagine how the girl felt. "when he did that to her in front of everyone. "He just said whatever and was like, "'Can we go to the beach now?'. "I said, 'No, we can't and we won't.'. "He started yelling again. "and said that I was doing too much over a joke. "and that if the girl accepted the apology, "then why am I making things so difficult for him?

"He also said that since I embarrassed him, "this was the least I could do. "He later called my ex. "who told me that I was a major asshole for being so harsh. "and he more or less repeated what my son said. "I don't think I'm the asshole in the slightest, "but I see how I'm being harsh. "Just wanted some perspective because my ex, his wife, "and my son are begging me to reconsider and relax. "Am I the asshole?". - No. - No. - No, I think that she is totally getting ganged up on. by them. And if her son is doing that,

then he is just gonna get worse towards women. - Oh my god. - And anyone. Anyone. I mean, he's yelling at his, like I don't know. That makes me pissed. I just went through a dark hole like thinking. about if I got married, you know, if I got like divorced. and you know? - You're with someone who was that bad. - And the stepmom was just like, "Yeah, (beep) just make fun of her.". - I know. It's like so stepmom stereotype crazy in my head. It's like crazy. - That's psycho behavior,

'cause that's like intentional planned out like shittiness. - [Amanda] Yeah. - A lot of comments here. "Not the asshole. "Way to be an awesome parent. "and hold your child accountable. "I can definitely see why you split from the ex. "Like, in what world is it a joke. "to screw with another person's emotions like that? "I would've done the same thing if I had kids.". She responded, "Thank you. "I'm really trying. "I love my son, "and I don't want him to grow up thinking he can do. "whatever he wants to people. "My ex, he actually cheated on me, and that's why we split.

"But his attitude was definitely a huge factor as well.". I'm not surprised by that. - [Amanda] No. - No, I'm just surprised, oh god. All of this must hurt for her. - [Amanda] I know. I feel this one deeply. - "Not the asshole. "Your ex probably taught him it was okay. "to treat women less than. "There was a post yesterday I think about a single father. "who bought his young daughter flowers from a florist. "just because. "His colleague saw him and said he was wrong. "for creating unrealistic expectations. "Your ex is like that colleague. "who doesn't understand how to treat women correctly, "and he's blaming men who do treat women with respect.

"for making getting women difficult for men like him. "I'm guessing it has something to do. "with the reason he is your ex. "He's also teaching his son not to treat women correctly. "You did the absolute correct thing here.". - Oh my god, in the indie movie version of this, we're being told both stories at the same time. Her marriage with said ex and the story of the son, and they're both happening at the same time. And while she's driving him to the kid's house to apologize,

we're seeing the way that the son treated the kid. similar to the dad treating her. And she's like, "I won't raise my ex this way.". And it's directed by Greta Gerwig. - Don't give up your movie idea. - She's gonna do that. "Lady Bird 2.". - "Lady Bird 2." - Just nuts. This is nuts. - Yeah, it's really sad. It does shock me. Like, it really does shock me. All right, we have an update.

- Oh my god. Okay. - Oh god, I have a feeling it's gonna break my heart. - I think so. - Yeah. - "Hi, I just wanted to make this post before I move on. "I kept my word. "No beach house no matter what my ex, his wife, "and my son said about me. "It was hard, and I broke down on Sunday. "because even though I know my son loves me. "and that he's just angry, "hearing him say that he wishes I wasn't his mother. "over and over hurts a lot.". Jesus Christ. - [Amanda] Whoa. - "On Sunday May 1st, after my breakdown, "I told him that he can stay with his dad for the week.

"My ex was going to have him for the weekend anyways. "So yeah, Sunday evening I took my son out. "I wanted to try one more time to make him understand, "tell him I love him and that's why I'm being so strict. "I took him to a park we used to go to just him and I. "I usually took him there when my ex and I would fight, "and he would leave us for days to see his sister.". - Oh my god. - "He was pretty moody the entire time. "and called me crazy for wanting to eat on the grass, LOL, "but he complied. "I asked him if he remembered the spot and he said yeah. "I then talked to him about everything.

"I also reminded him that there is nobody in this world. "and beyond that I love more than him. "He was silent the entire ride to his dad's house, "and I thought I (beep) up until we arrived and he said, "'I love you too, mom.'. "It was so hard to keep the tears in. "I had to take a break from driving home. "because of how emotional I was. "Monday and Tuesday were calm. "and nothing out of the ordinary. "Wednesday night was different. "My husband and I were out. "while the girls were with my in-laws. "when I got a call from my son. "He was quiet but asked if I could pick him up.

"I called my ex who just told me. "that our son was being dramatic, "but I was welcome to take him. "It was obvious that he and his father. "had a pretty bad argument about something. "I asked him what happened. "since ex kept telling me it was nothing. "Turns out my ex cheated on his wife. "His wife confronted him. "and brought up the fact that he cheated on me. "My ex proceeded to insult me and call me names to her. "My son heard everything and put it together. "My son was distressed, "and I really wish he didn't have to find out, "not like this. "When we got home, my son collapsed in my arms. "and kept saying he was really sorry for everything.

"I managed to calm him down, "and he fell asleep on the couch. "I was stuck with him. "in the most uncomfortable position all night, "but all I cared about at that moment was my son. "I didn't know I could love and care for someone this much. "I never planned on having children, "so this was a huge concern of mine. "But the love I have for my son is crazy. "He's a bit awkward, which makes sense. "14-year-old boys don't normally burst into tears. "and not let their mothers out of their grasp, "but it'll be fine. "I know it'll be a very long road, but it'll be worth it. "Thanks for being supportive.".

- I'm so deep in this one right now. - Yeah. I was not expecting that ending. I thought it was gonna get worse. Thought the son was gonna like kill someone. - That makes me wanna cry. - I thought he was gonna cheat on everyone at school. (crew laughs). - What? That's your indie movie talking. That's not real. (crew laughs). That's like season two of this indie-. - No, it's not. No, it's, oh my god, people are crying in the room. Oh my god. No, that's not the indie movie.

This is the indie movie. - Oh, Ang. - No, I'm thinking, I'm doing too much "Reddit Stories". 'cause I was blowing it outta the water. I was like, what's the worst version? - But it's so unbelievably sweet, 'cause it's like if she didn't have that talk with him, he wouldn't have understood. that she was actually just trying to teach him morals. - He had to learn the hard way of like, "Oh, this is what you were trying to teach me.". - Yeah, and like what she was trying.

to teach him wasn't cool, right? And what the other household stood for, the cool thing, wore off, and he got to see it, like literally. - Well, it was a facade. Oh, it's a facade, this is all fake. - That his dad was just cheating and didn't respect women. - And also by proxy doesn't care about his son. Like, really like-. - Yeah, calling him dramatic, calling people crazy. Again, projecting. I mean, his dad must be in a lot of pain. - Yeah. - [Amanda] That's what I'm thinking.

- Oh my gosh. - Dad's a piece of shit. And also like, I guess the stepmom knew. that the dad cheated on her. and then was shocked when he cheated on her as well. It's like, yeah. I mean, you can see a pattern there. - Well, pattern. - But that's what's so crazy about cheating and deception, lying and all this stuff, it's just that it's like, there's a scary generational part. where it's like you grow up watching people lie. or you don't, and you see how that is navigated in the home. And that's like touchy and hard. And the way that mother handled it was (beep) badass.

- Badass. She like pushed past her pride and her pain. and just said what she felt, which was like, "I love you. "You know, this is what's important.". And I don't think if she did that, I think that he would've felt really alone. and like not called her. I think she opened up the door for him to be vulnerable. - Well, she showed she cared so much. Like, you know, she cares about him, and she's really trying to communicate with him. - And she's like, that's why I mean like how it's like it works for all ages.

Like, stopping him at school. from doing that is like stopping the habit. from it becoming like, that's what I mean. And her having that talk. and making him do that really uncomfortable thing. probably stops that uncomfortable feeling. and making that a comfortable thing. that his dad probably started young. You know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah. I mean at 14 hopefully he will not turn out like his dad. - Like, because of that really influential park hang.

- [Shayne] Yeah. - I was so deep into that. Of course, make him sit on the grass. - And have that moment that he'll remember. for the rest of his life where your mom is like, "I want you to know that that doesn't feel good.". - Yeah. - "And I want you to remember how awful it felt. "when we drove all the way back and you apologized.". - Yeah. - Yeah, and like yeah, 'cause the dad has no empathy. Doesn't ever do that. - 'Cause no one took the time to feel like that, 'cause she felt awful when she did that. - And it's kinda what I talked about earlier. Like, if you don't reconcile, if you don't look inward.

and deal with these things that you do, you do kinda lose your soul more and more. - And you pass it on. - Yeah. - Generations. - And teach that behavior of like no empathy. And it's really sad, and it's probably a very lonely life, like, frankly that that dad is living. To just not care about anyone, that is a loveless life. - He's the one who loses in this story. - Oh, absolutely. He's gonna end up with nobody. He'll be 70 and there's gonna be nobody in his life. - Correct. - That's just what happens. - And his son is not gonna wanna go visit him or hang out.

- There was one comment here. "Former 14-year-old butthead here, "divorced home and all the fun stuff.". - Butthead. - "Great job, mama. "I'm 36 now with a 1.5 year old of my own, "one and a half year old of my own. "My mom fighting my ignorance, bullheadedness, peacocking, "and all the other nonsense I put her through. "has made me a much better man. "Boy did we have our blowouts. "I'm so close with her now. "Talk with her daily. "Send her pictures of her grandson. "She recently moved across the country to be closer to us, "and I couldn't be happier. "I can't say how smooth the rest will be for you,

"but I have faith you and him will have a stronger bond. "for all of this.". - Okay, this makes me wanna cry. (groans). - Don't let the dam break. (Shayne laughs). - Like, I felt it welling and now I'm like (groans). - Yeah. You know, it's-. - That's so sweet that he messaged her that. because I think that moms like feel. like they're not doing the right thing probably, and they're like (groans). Especially like, I feel like women when they have sons, like both my sisters have sons, and when they had sons,

they were like, "I don't know what I'm doing. "He eats like a whole chicken a day.". (everyone laughs). "And he broke his ear. "I didn't know you could break an ear.". My nephew broke his ear when he was little, and my sister was like, "I don't know what to do.". - [Shayne] That's awesome. - "He broke his ear, "and he's just running over the house eating chicken, "and I don't know.". And like I think it's so validating to know. that maybe you won't see the results now, but years later you will. - You will, you will.

- Oh. - Yeah, look, I mean this has been wild. I'm glad a lot of these ended well to a degree. You know, like at least the people finding out. that their partner's cheating, and they get out of it and stuff. The real losers are all the people who cheated. I mean- - [Amanda] Yep. - I think there's a lot of lessons, I feel like. It's like if you're cheating, you're gonna get caught. Like, it's hard to get away with. And they also always end up doing it again. And yeah, like also I think. if you're just a very suspicious person,

if you are too anxious and suspicious and you're certain, even if you have proof or not, it's like, "Oh, maybe I shouldn't be in this. "or I need to reconcile this.". And I think if you are someone who's cheated, like, or is actively cheating and you go like, 'Oh, well I won't do it again," or something, I do think it's something. that needs to be really, really looked at, reconciled, probably talked about with a professional. And that, you know, I do believe people can change. Absolutely that is something you can figure out.

But it takes work. And it takes admitting like, "Oh, I have to really-". - [Amanda] You have to confront your demons. - You have to acknowledge that you are disrespecting. and hurting people, and a lot of cheaters just don't wanna believe in that, 'cause it probably will suck. to acknowledge how much pain you've caused, but you have to do that. And that's the only way to move on. You don't probably get to move on from that. without dealing with that first. - Your demons, they never go away. Once you confront them, then you can be free,

and that's when you have to do the hard stuff of like, go past your pride and just get to the heart of it, which is like, "I love you and I don't want you to be hurt.". - And you're like, "Listen, I love you so much. "I don't want you to be hurt. "It wasn't a Panera, it was a Potbelly.". (crew laughs). - There it is. - That one was sitting in the driveway, and the car engine was just on, and you're like, "I'm gonna heat up the car with this joke.". - No, it wasn't. - I'm just kidding. No, that felt new. - [Shayne] Well... - Felt...

- This has been great. And thank you both for being here. You both are insane. - Good night. - Thanks for having us. - Goodnight. - This is actually where we sleep. - You can shut the lights off now. - People don't know this, but this is our apartment. (everyone laughs). - Yeah, you guys can get outta our apartment now. - We're actually in Greenwich Village right now. - The Reddit stage is where Angela and Amanda live. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Oh, great, yeah, use my back as a pillow. - Thank you guys for watching. Next Saturday, Damien and Ian are here. We have an insane update where someone found out.

that we read their story, and they acknowledge us. It's getting meta now. (Amanda gasps). So we'll see you then. And as always, let us know what subreddits. and themes you'd like to see. We'll see you later. Bye! - All right, you guys can shut the door now. - Please, Shayne. - We're off to Panera Bread. - Get out of our apartment. - Thanks, Shayne. You can leave now. - You can plug the iPad in the charger. - Turn off the light. - All right. - All right. You can go now, Shayne. - Yeah, Shayne, if you wanna play games on the iPad, you can for a few minutes.

- Yeah, just don't talk to us. - All right, I'll play some games on the iPad. - All right.