Office Horror Stories | Reading Reddit Stories

- Good morning. Welcome to "Reddit Stories". I'm Shayne. And today we have a bunch of office stories. And I'm very excited. I was just saying this before we started rolling. It is not even 9:00 AM yet. It's 8:45 in the morning. Very office-like of us to be starting at this time. Right at the beginning of the day. I'm joined by my two coworkers, Angela and Spencer. - What's up? - What's up? - We're here in an office, sort of. I guess it's a studio. - Clocked in. - Yeah, we're clocked in, man.

No, I just want people to know like how early in the morning. sometimes it is when we're reading these. - Yeah. - But then also sometimes so late at night. - Yeah. Sometimes. You never know if it's 7:00 PM or 8:00 in the morning. when we're reading these. - Yeah. - Someone's out there working construction. They're like, "That's crazy, dude.". - That's crazy, dude. - Yeah, man. That sounds insane. - Yeah, well that's crazy. You had to read a Reddit story. at 5:00 PM? - Yeah, it was really hard. (everyone laughs). Offices, workspaces, coworkers, that's what we're dealing with here today.

- This is fun. You two are like some of my favorite coworkers. - Yeah. - [Shayne] Wow. - If I had to rank coworkers, you'd be up there. - This is top three right here. - Yeah. - Everybody knows that. - Mm-hmm. - Hmm. - Cool. That's settled. - Now that we got that outta the way. - Now that we're done with that. - In front of a bunch of other coworkers of ours. (everyone laughs). - Okay. It's kooky energy today. (everyone laughs). All right, our first story. "Am I the asshole for telling my coworker. "I can't attend her 'funeral' because I'm busy that day?".

What? (Angela laughs). "So here's the situation.". - He can commune with the dead. - Yeah. My dead coworker. "So here's the situation. "I have this coworker, let's call her Karen. "Karen is a character. "She's always talking about these elaborate plans. "for every possible scenario. "Last week she told us. "she had pre-planned her entire funeral, "complete with a guest list, catering, and even a DJ. "Apparently she wants her final sendoff. "to be a lit celebration of life.

"Anyway, outta the blue yesterday, "Karen walks up to me during lunch and says, "'Hey, just so you know, I've penciled you in. "'for my funeral next Saturday at 2:00 PM. "'It's going to be fabulous, "'and I'd really appreciate your attendance.'. "So here's the thing. "I'm alive and kicking, so the idea of attending a funeral. "for someone who's very much alive, just felt weird. "Plus, I already have plans next Saturday. "to binge watch an entire season of 'Stranger Things'. "and eat my weight in pizza. "So without really thinking, I just blurted out, "'Sorry Karen, I can't make it. "'I'm busy that day.'. "She looked at me like I just slapped her with a cold fish. "'Busy?' she asked, her voice dripping with disbelief.

"'You can't be too busy for a friend's funeral.'. "Now, Karen has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since, "and our other coworkers are split. "Some think I'm a heartless jerk for not going along. "with her bizarre funeral dress rehearsal. "while others think she's completely off her rocker. "for expecting people to actually attend this thing. "So, Reddit, am I the asshole. "for telling my very much alive coworker. "I can't attend her self-planned preemptive funeral. "because I'm busy watching Netflix? "Edit. For those asking about her, she is fine. "I overheard somebody asking her,

"and she replied that it's just a celebration of life. "So yes, it seems to be a narcissistic event.". - Wait, so I think they might've left out a part. where they are actually throwing like a practice for it. - Yeah, so it's like a rehearsal for the funeral? - They're specifically saying. that they are busy watching "Stranger Things". and eating their weight in pizza, which is so epic, I have to add. - Yeah. And I loved that. - It's so epic. - Very cool. - I felt at peace just hearing that. - Mm-hmm. - But like I'm confused.

So she's throwing a party? - She's throwing a gigantic party. It's her preemptive funeral. So she's throwing her funeral now, long hopefully before she dies. And she wants her final sendoff. to be a lit celebration of life. Yeah, he later calls it a dress rehearsal. But I think that's his own terminology. It is essentially just a big party she's throwing. for herself, and it's kind of the labeling. of it's a preemptive funeral.

I mean... I don't know. My thought is like, cool, you can do whatever type of parties. You can't tell someone they have to be there. Also, I don't know. I'm of the mindset like if I did this, if I was in her position, and then someone was like, "I can't make it,". you just have to be like, "Oh, okay.". - Yeah, this feels like. because of the way she's like dressing the event. is making it a bigger deal, but it's not. - It's not the same as like a real funeral.

Like, in the sense of when people are like, "Well, you should attend your friend's funeral.". It's like, yeah, if they died. But this isn't that. This is a different thing. - And they're not even-. - I've never heard of this before. - They're also not even like friends, it sounds like. It sounds like they're just coworkers. - Yeah, with coworkers especially, you're not like obligated to go to their personal events. - It's always like a nice gesture to be like, "Hey, throwing a barbecue. Come.".

And that's the best part about coworkers. is you don't really have to go. - Yeah. - Crazy thing to say. - Yeah. - But like with your friends, you're like, oh, you gotta go. You know what I mean? - I mean, here's the thing. Here's the thing I figured out. You don't have to go with friends either. - Yeah. - That's the most Spencer Agnew thing I've heard. - You might lose some along the way. - It was a mind blowing thing for me. 'cause I always was the type. that had to come up with like elaborate excuses. for why I couldn't hang out with people.

And I'm very introverted. I need like time to myself. But I would never say that, you know? If I was in this guy's position where I'm like, oh, I wanna just stay home and watch TV, I'd have been like, "I can't. "Like, I gotta do this thing that day.". But then it was a good friend of mine, Matthew Scott from "So Random", we were hanging out in our dressing rooms one day, and I'm like, you know, I'm like 19, so I'm still a very insecure person. And we were talking about making plans. and like a bunch of us were gonna go hang out that night.

And I was like, "Yeah, do you wanna come?". And he goes, "No. I'm gonna stay home and watch TV.". And I remember just being like, that's awesome. Like, that's-. - Yeah. - Like, honestly, thank you. for just being completely honest. I'm not offended at alL 'cause I get it. it kinda like changed something in me where I was just like, oh, you're allowed to not... just because I don't want to go out that night. doesn't mean I don't like you. - Yeah. - You know, it just means like. that's what I am desiring to do that day.

- Yeah. Or just being like, I think it was working here. where it was like realizing that people, like we'd finish a shoot or something and if it was like, "Hey, we're gonna grab beers or whatever,". and someone just being like, "Hey, I have no more social energy in my tank.". And being like, that is so relatable and understandable. And you can't force that. - Yeah. - And that's okay. - Totally. - You know? - It's especially strange. 'cause yeah, we're talking about coworkers here. They don't sound like they are friends. based on this description. So to expect that is strange.

I don't know. This is just all odd to me. - This is such coworker behavior. This feels like, you know, I don't think we... This is just like the coworker I have nightmares about. - Yeah. - Where it's like, you know, you're kind of forced to do their bits with them. or whatever like that where it's just like... (Angela laughs). No, I mean, like, you know people like that. where they come over, they're like, "Ah, blah, blah, blah.". And you're like, "Dude, yeah, man. "I'm at work.".

- Yeah. (laughs). - You know, and I think people here have good boundaries. with that, where it's like, you know, if we see someone sitting off kind of in the corner, it's not like, "Hey, let's bring them into the bit.". - No, they're like there for a reason. - Yeah. It's like they're doing their own thing. - Yeah, also, I feel like people who, like this is a really weird take. But I feel like, I've seen it in reality TV too, where people love funeral as a theme, and they find it very fun and like a big deal.

Like, there's been like funeral divorce parties. It feels like she's making it a big deal. because she's labeling it her funeral and she's calling it, and you can't like say no, but it's just a party. - I think like to the funeral theming stuff, I wonder if it's almost like a... You know when people try and like talk things out out loud. to almost like not normalize it. but make it feel a little less scary? - Yeah. Like-. - Where it's like it feels, it's like, you know, reclaiming.

- No, 100%. I totally get it. And it's a little punk rock to be like, "My marriage is over. "Let's eulogize it," or whatever. Like, it's cool. But I think like she's doing this-. - See, I don't even think it's cool. - To eulogize something? - I think it's lame as hell. - I think it's corny. The funeral divorce party, it's a little corny. - But it's kind of a theatrical fun theme. because you get to like be super, like it's like a fun theme, I guess. - You're allowed to theme parties kind of. in any sort of way you want. - Legally.

- The issue to me is really not the thing she's doing. She's allowed to do this. - It's the stakes. - It's that she's pressuring him. - Yeah. Yeah. - You're pressuring a coworker. So it's not even like, "Hey, you've been my best friend since high school.". Like, it's not like that. It's, "Hey, I work with you. "We are forced to be in the same building every day. "in order to pay our rent. "Now you have to come to this personal thing of mine.". - But she's using that theme to do that. She's going, "It is my funeral. "You must come.". - It's strategic. 'Cause it's like in five years are you gonna throw another?

- Yeah, exactly. - And then make people, be like, "You need to come to my funeral again. "'cause what if I died a second time?". - Yeah. - Like, you know, I don't know. - It's also kinda like dangling your worth. in front of someone and being like, "If I was gone...". - Would you care? I think we should-. - I don't know if she's doing that, but... - I think we should be allowed to see what would happen. after we died. That's my hot take. - Okay, Tom Sawyer. - Yeah. No, that's, yeah, that was a good fantasy, like little fantasy moment. (Angela laughs).

For me as a kid. - That was like a little fantasy moment, Spencer. But yeah, no, I think you're right. We should be able to see it. And I feel like she wants to see. how people will show up for her. - Apparently not. - Even in small spaces. - I think our producers put down a note. that I agree with too that it's... You know, she's throwing this, she's theming it. To be pressuring people, I think the pressuring adds the insensitivity of like, you don't know what someone else is going through. So to be like, "Yeah, come to my funeral themed party.".

- It's like, "Both my parents just exploded.". - Yeah. Yeah. It's like you don't know what someone, especially a coworker, you're probably not talking to them, so it's like, what are they going through. that maybe they're like, "Yeah, I don't want to go to a funeral right now. "'cause I just went to one like last month, "so this isn't really fun for me.". So I think just the pressuring part is what makes her. absolutely an asshole here. - Yeah, 100%. Also, your life doesn't have to end to give it meaning. Whoa. Boom! - She's allowed to just throw a party.

- Yeah. - You're allowed to celebrate your life without it being a-. - Yeah, and your life doesn't have to be ending. to make your friends show up. - Unfortunately, I think if I got like a party invite. and they're like, "Well, it's a celebration of life,". I'd be like, "I'm okay.". - Oh, for sure. For sure. Comments. "OP needs to go to the funeral. "and say a few words to the attendees. "about how unbelievably self-centered, narcissistic, "and thirsty she is.". - That'll go over really well. - "And how insensitive she is to others. "going through real loss.". - I love like the Reddit take of like when they're like,

"You know, you need to like sue her. "Like, you need to like sue this. "Like, dude, lawyer up.". (Angela laughs). - "Then drop the mic. "and leave to binge watch 'Stranger Things'. "Not the asshole.". Someone said, "Turn it into a roast. "Tell everyone except Karen. "Not the asshole.". Sounds familiar. No, I agree. There's always a comment that's like the catharsis comment. of like, "Well, you should show up to her house. "with a bulldozer and-". - Yeah. Like, you should bulldoze her house. - Bulldoze her house because she's dead now. and foreclose her house.

Someone said, "I have so many questions. "Is this like a birthday and it's funeral themed? "A funny leaving office themed party? "A random party on a random day? "Has she expressed any signs of wanting to end her life? "Does she have a terminal illness?". No, it would raise questions for me. - It's like when you have a big theme, I always need like a justification for the theme. - Yeah. - Just like a little something. Like, are you leaving the job? Like, what's happening? - What if you all show up to the party and she's legit dead? She's like in a casket?

- That would be crazy. - Yeah, and it's a murder mystery. It's like, "One of you killed me.". - And you showed up, and then you find out. that she was so pissed you weren't gonna come. - Not only do you show up and she's dead. She's like a skeleton. It's like she's been dead. for five years. - She's been dead for years. Yeah. Yeah. - You were working with a ghost. - You talked to her? You didn't. You're crazy. - It's like the Tegan and Sara song "Working with a Ghost". - Whoa. - First time a Tegan and Sara's song has been referenced. on "Reddit Stories". - Tegan and Sara has been referenced. OP responded to that comment-. - They're coworkers. (everyone laughs).

- Yeah. - They are, Spencer. Good. (everyone laughs). - OP responded to that saying, "Well, the way she talked about it. "made it feel like a celebration of life. "more than anything else. "I actually overheard another coworker. "asking her about her wellbeing, "and Karen answered that she was absolutely fine, "but that birthdays weren't that special anymore. "or something like that.". Someone said, "My grandma had a funeral for her 40th birthday party. "They set up a coffin in the living room. "and she laid in it all night. "while her friends gave her drinks and well wishes. "Grandma and Grandpa posed in that coffin for pictures.

"pretending to be dead with their favorite drinks in hand. "At their actual funerals decades later, "we printed those out poster size. "and freaked out some of the younger significant others. "that attended. "I'm not sure if they requested that, "but it's what they would've wanted. "My grandparents partied.". - You know, we figured out a way to monetize this on Smosh. - I was just about to say. It's actually pretty (beep) rich of us. to sit here this whole time and be like, "She's crazy for doing this," when we have so much content. - I think there's a difference though. Yeah, no, for sure. - Ours makes money.

- But ours was justified. It was like, here's a joke machine. Like, here's a roast. And it's a theme. (Spencer laughs). And it's good. And you can click it below. - Here's the thing. Ours is good. - Also there's a difference between a funeral themed party. and my preemptive funeral 'cause-. - Yeah. - Being like, "Hey, I'm having a party this weekend. "and it's funeral theme.". - Yeah. - Is one thing. It's, "Hey, I'm having my funeral to celebrate my life.".

It's like, okay? And it's not even on her birthday, it doesn't sound like. - Yeah. - It's just like, "Hey, I'm throwing myself a party. "where everybody's gonna be celebrating me.". - Yeah. - And it's just... It's a couple extra layers there. - I've never really meant anything more. than what I'm about to say. I believe parties, all parties are a celebration of life. - Yeah. Hear, hear. Sometimes I feel like pressured. to like go into work sometimes. Like, you know, so I can relate to like this like, you know,

when they're like, "Hey Spencer, like, we need you in today. "You're in the shoots today.". And I'm like, you know, it's like this unfair pressure that like-. (Shayne laughs). What if I don't feel like going? (everyone laughs). It's just not, it's kind of like, it feels a little invasive. and it's like, you know, I should show up. and like, you know, I should show up, be like, "You know what? "You're narcissistic. "You're like self-serving.". - Like, look at you just asking me to show up. and you don't know what's going on with me. - You're asking me, like you don't know what I'm going through.

- [Angela] Exactly. (Shayne laughs). - I was up late. Like, you know, I had to squeeze in a shower this morning. Like, you don't know what I'm going through. - You want me here at 8:30 in the morning? - I was supposed to be here at 8:00. I showed up at 8:20 and I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. You're so "I had to squeeze in a shower this morning" coded. - I had to squeeze in a shower. - I had to. - Look. I'll just say 8:00 AM call time. I showed up at 7:45 with donuts. - That's crazy. (crew applauds). - Thank you. Thank you. Guys, I'm having my funeral this Saturday.

(everyone laughs). Please show up. - And Tegan and Sara are coworkers. - And they will be performing, somewhere else, not at my place. - Calling your bandmates coworkers is really funny to me. - Ally and AJ. Coworkers. - Yeah. (everyone laughs). - Okay. "Am I the asshole because I took all the leftovers home. "after a work party?". - Luke Baker. (everyone laughs). - Before we even get into this, Luke is absolutely famous for taking all the leftovers. But we acknowledge it. We know that that's what he's gonna do.

- Yeah, let's hear this. - I think, before we get into this, I think having that coworker who takes all the leftovers. is a very important part of the ecosystem. - You go, "Thank you, sir.". - Like, they are a necessary part. of making sure there's no waste. - [Spencer] Exactly. - The environment stays healthy. - Totally agree. - It's good for the soil. - Absolutely. - Yes. It's like a worm. - Yeah. Exactly. - They're our office worms. - They're breaking down the materials. and kind of like, you know, the earth like will reabsorb them. - Literally. - I'm gonna let Luke know that he's the office worm. - 100%.

- But we still would love him. - Would you still love me. if you were the office worm? - Here we go. "I've worked at this company for three years. "My three year anniversary landed on the same day. "of my significant other proposing, "and to top it off, I'm getting promoted. "I was expecting at least something from my coworkers, "like a small party or gift, nothing fancy.". - Dude, if I expected a, dude-. - What? Hey, everything's going awesome in my life. I was expecting people to, you know, kind of throw a party for me for that. - Nothing fancy. - Nothing fancy just like-. - I won the lottery and nobody threw a party for me.

- Just nothing fancy or anything. - Dude, I'm sorry. I could not give less of a (beep) about a work anniversary. (everyone laughs). - I'm sorry. No. Know what I care less about is your LA anniversary. - Oh yeah. - When people go, "I've been in LA for six years.". I'm sorry. Probably everyone has done those. I don't get it. - Respond with that sucks, man. - Cool. You've been in this city for that long. - Yeah. And you still haven't made it. - No, that's different. (Shayne laughs). - Not to you.

I mean you saying that to someone else. I would say you have made it. - It's like, whoa, you've worked at Smosh for this long. - I'm like, oof, don't remind me. Just kidding. (Shayne laughs). - [Emily] You're the longest out of all of us. - No, I know. - All right, I gotta get outta here. - Me and Brennan. 2014. So probably 10 years. - 24 years. - Yeah. It's probably been about 10 years. since I've worked on Smosh in some capacity. - Crazy. - Bring out the party. - Yeah. And where's my party? (crew laughs). - Okay, so again, they-. - Three years.

- "My three year anniversary landed on the same day. "of my significant other proposing, "and to top it off, I'm getting promoted. "I was expecting-". - It's also my birthday. - Yeah. "I was expecting at least something from my coworkers. "like a small party or gift, nothing fancy. "I was pretty hurt when I came in that week to find nothing. "There were congrats and well dones, but nothing else. "I poured my eyes out later to my significant other. "and expressed how uncared about I felt. "He contacted one of my coworkers, soon to be employee, "and she went to my manager and set something up.". - Whoa. What?

- "They had a little buffet in the break room. "Just the common stuff. "Veggie platter, dips, chips, and sweets, "like cookies, tarts, and brownies. "Some banners.". - Tarts? - Yeah. "At the end of the day, I took the leftovers home with me. "on the plate/Tupperware they came in on. "The coworker again, my soon-to-be employee-". - That's crazy. That's crazy. Are you hearing that part? - I heard that. - Yeah. - Shayne, rewind that part back. Shayne, rewind. - "Again my soon-to-be employee texted me the next day. "asking if I took the sweets she made along with the plates.

"I said, 'Yeah.'" - That was a huge red flag. - "She got super hostile. "Apparently she wanted to keep those in the break room. "so that those unable to attend the party could still eat. "and nowhere did she say this was all for me. "She also needed the platter plate back. "because she was making a birthday cake for her niece. "My significant other and I both agreed it was wrong. "for her to text me like that. "And seeing as it was my party, "if I wanted the leftovers, I deserve them. "But he thinks I should have just apologized. "to keep the peace. "If I'm not wrong, I don't see the point.". Oh my god.

- When I direct a Games video, are y'all like my employees? - Yeah. You can-. - Can I say that? (Shayne laughs). - Like, when you're like-. - When I'm like, "Hey-". - You get to cross go to get another $200. - Yeah, in that moment, you're-. - When we're in those gentlemen's costumes. Yeah, you're our boss. (everyone laughs). - My coworker. Sorry, I mean, my employee. That's a crazy way to look at things. - Yeah, that's a crazy assertion of power.

This person sucks. - Yeah. - This person's straight outta "The Office". - This person sucks in every sentence of this story. Every part of this, they suck. - It's really hard, I think, like when you scroll through the Am I The Asshole subreddit, where they're declared the asshole is very rare. because usually probably when people write out their story-. - You try and make yourself sound a little-. - It's why I believe a lot of stories. I'm getting this from one perspective. and you're probably painting yourself.

But if you even are attempting to do that. and it comes through fully that you're the worst person-. - Yeah. - You have to be so delusional. - You were in control of every sentence that you wrote. - 'Cause journaling is often a way that you write things out. and it kind of clears things up for you. where you go, "Oh, I'm in the wrong in this situation.". Or "Oh, now I see it on paper.". So to write this all out and be like submit to the internet. - Yeah. - And not go, "Oh, I should probably erase that line. "where I say one of my coworkers, soon-to-be employee.".

- Soon to be below me. Like, that's what-. - Yeah. - I guess I kind of have this mindset, I don't think it's sad, that like especially as an adult, like especially in my 30s, I just don't expect like celebrations for me. - You have to celebrate yourself in a way. - Especially not coworkers. I get it when people are talking. about like a significant other or like, you know-. - Yeah, yeah. - If you're hanging out with your family. on a weekend of your birthday and they don't say anything-.

- Yeah, like moms and significant others. you can expect a celebration from. But like anybody else... - Coworkers especially. - Everyone's got their own shit going on. And frankly a lot of shit going on. - None of what they listed are things. that I think warrant a celebration. - Coworker celebration. Yeah. - Yeah, especially, you know-. - Getting married maybe. - Maybe. - I wouldn't expect a celebration. - I wouldn't expect it, but like-. - At the very least, maybe if someone got you like flowers.

or something. But ultimately they're saying they walked in. and people were like, "Hey, congrats. "Hey, well done.". - You are so lucky. if I acknowledge how long you've worked somewhere. - You are so (beep) lucky. - So lucky. And you should thank me. - I never think about that stuff. But getting promoted is also not like, I wouldn't... That's kind of the reward and the celebration itself. - It's like, oh, congrats, you get more money. - Yeah. Congrats. You're about to be my boss. - You won. - Is to like, hey, I should give you something.

- Yeah. - I agree with, there's a note. Never take food in the containers they came from. or they came in. If you're a coworker, like if you wanna take leftovers home, like make sure it's not someone's Tupperware. or something. - Yeah, yeah. - [Shayne] Obviously. - Yeah, I mean that's-. - Unless it's the cheap shit. I mean, come on. - Unless it's something dumb. - Unless it's spaghetti stained. - Crap. - Yeah. And then that's just like, come on. - You're doing them a favor. It's like, I was looking to throw away. that spaghetti stained Tupperware. - Yeah. And I think Luke is very good about this,

but, you know, if you're gonna take leftovers, you at least ask before you do it. Or if like everybody's packing up and leaving, like take it. Like, I don't know. Yeah. I think though they, what makes them an asshole to me is just their perspective. - Yeah. - Like, it's hard for me, I don't even care about the actions, but I'm like, when you wrote it out like this-. - I can't even get past just the way he wrote it. - Yeah. Some comments. "OP, you are not owed anything. "I have the most wonderful team at work. "and we're all very close and work well together.

"Not one of them knows my work anniversary, "nor would I expect them to. "The only reason the date is relevant to me. "is because that's the date I ask my supervisor. "for my annual review and hopefully a raise. "You've been at your job for three years. Big whoop. "Congrats on all your other achievements you mentioned, "but you're extremely entitled. "and you don't expect more of people. "You expect absolute nonsense from people. "that no one would usually think of. "You're the asshole.". Someone said, "You're the asshole. "How old are you? "Your coworkers, or soon-to-be employees as you put it, "do not owe you a party. "because you worked at a company for three years.

"or the fact that you got promoted. "or the fact that you got engaged, period. "It's something that-". - Also I hate you! - Also you're dumb. And I-. - Also lawyer up 'cause your wife is cheating on you. - Also your wife is cheating. Yeah. - I'm not going to your preemptive funeral. - And check her phone. - White people did pop off with big whoop. - Big whoop is good. - Big whoop is good. - Big whoop, dude. - "It's something that coworkers do if they feel like it. "and not because they feel obligated to. "The fact that none of them wanted to. "until you cried to your boyfriend speaks volumes. "of how they feel about you on an interpersonal level.

"You might wanna sink in for a bit. "Also, office etiquette is if there are any leftovers, "you leave them at the office. "so that anyone who wasn't able to attend gets some as well. "And to take the containers and plates as well. "makes you an even bigger asshole.". - Hey bro, we left you some celery. - OP says in another comment that she's 38. "Along this line of-". - 38 and acting like this is crazy. - It's crazy. Also and it's crazy to me that she like, 'cause to me I thought it was like one of those boys. that like only watches "Mad Men". that thinks like, "Hey, I got a promotion. "Everyone, let's go out.".

- Promotion. That's how they say it. - Or like, you know, it just feels like this is crazy. - I feel bad for anyone who's our age. and is looking for that level of affirmation. - That's so true. - That (beep) sucks if by 30 you aren't like-. - Wait, are they 30 or 38? - They're 38. But I'm saying even by like 25-. - Yeah. - If you're not like cool with yourself. and content with yourself, if you're seeking that approval from coworkers-. - Better wake up. - Lastly, someone said, "Along this line of thought,

"it is standard practice to gift down. "You are now the supervisor. "You should provide for those who work for you, "not expect them to provide for you. "I would be dreading working for you at this point.". Yeah. - It's a very old fashioned way. of looking. - She's their boss now. - Yeah. - It's like, if I'm now working for her, I'm looking for another job. I'm like, this job is gonna suck so much. - But it's very old fashioned. It's why like I think, this is very like our town speak, but like I think back in the day it would be assumed. that like the head or top of the call sheet.

and like the lead of the show would get all the gifts. and the flowers. But now that person, like the lead of a show usually gets like a food truck. for people at the end. - Like, how Keanu bought all those motorcycles. - Kiana got us all a motorcycle. - No, Keanu. Sorry. - Kiana got us all motorcycles. - Kiana, yeah, got us all motorcycles. - Or like when the like quarterback. usually gets everyone on the team like a big Christmas gift. or whatever. When you're the big person, you should get gifts for people. And I feel like it's, but back in the day it used to be really corrupt.

and I feel like it used to be like, oh, the best people get the gift. - I do think though people are also, I think younger generations, millennials and gen Z in particular, from what I am hearing, like that type of stuff in the workplace, people give less of a shit about. - Yeah. - It's like I don't give a shit about parties, gifts. (beep) pay me better. Like, if my boss like, 'cause I feel like Smosh does a better job of this. It's like cool. Parties, like, oh, you got us gifts, cool.

But we're not getting a raise. Okay. Sick. Great. - Yeah. - It's like the pizza party meme. - It's a workplace. Like, we're there to do a job. Like, the best type of coworkers are the ones. who just like are doing their job so your job isn't harder. - Yeah. - Like, that's the best gift you can give to your coworker. is making their job like unobstructive. - Or just respect. - Yeah, that's like... I just think expecting, putting pressure on interpersonal stuff in a workplace. is probably the worst shit you can do. - Yeah. 100%.

- Update. - Yes. - "Stop saying I forced my significant other. "to contact my coworker. "That was his own choice. "And never once did I imply I approved. "or wanted him to do that. "I only took the Tupperware. "because I had nothing else to carry the leftovers in.". - I like to imagine that all the coworkers. are in their 20s and it's just like, "And there's this 38-year-old woman. "who's just terrorizing us.". - "I try to make all my employees feel special. "and celebrate their achievements, "so I had more expectations out of them than I should have. "That was my mistake.".

- My mistake was having expectations that you would perform. (Angela laughs). - That update's probably gone well. Sick. - I love an update starting with, "Stop!". - Stop it! - Stop! - No, I love when you tell the internet to stop. - [Angela] Yeah. - 'Cause it always works. - It will. Yeah. - The internet will actually listen to you, and they'll be like, "Oh guys, we need to stop hating.". - Literally stop thinking I did that! I didn't! - There's no better way to get just ruined on the internet. than to tell people to stop. It's just the worst thing you can say.

Well, she sucks. - Amen. - There you go. This next one comes from True Off My Chest. "My coworker is a totally normal person. "and he fascinates me.". - Oh, I love this shit. - "He has no mental health problems like everyone else here. "and most of the other people in my life. "He isn't on any meds. "He's physically healthy.". (everyone laughs). - Okay. Okay. Okay. - We can finally talk about our "Shayne Guesses" pitch. (everyone laughs).

- I'm so glad this is now out. - "He has no mental health problems like everyone else here. "and most of the other people in my life. "He isn't on any meds. "He's physically healthy. "I've had to explain my panic attacks, anxiety, my meds, "being overwhelmed by basically everything. "and so much more to him. "because he's never experienced/heard of them. "Almost everyone I know is a mess. "And the contrast between them, myself, "and him is amazing to me. "It's like he's a machine. "Just some other things. "He's never late to work. "He doesn't oversleep.

"He doesn't have trouble sleeping. "He doesn't have meltdowns, tantrums, "outbursts, or shutdowns. "He isn't allergic to anything, "and he has no food sensitivities. "or at least none that he knows of. "He works out every day, either at home or the gym. "He has no chronic health issues. "He doesn't get stuck or freeze or get trapped in a loop. "He can drive without issue. "and knows how to get to where he wants to go. "without his phone. "Detours don't cause him any issues. "If things don't go to plan. "or have to change or just fall apart, "he just adapts and moves on.". (Angela laughs). - This is how people feel when they meet me. - "If a big choice has to be made, he just makes it.

"He does what he says he'll do. "when he says he'll do it the way he says he'll do it. "He can solve problems. "There's no Googling, no looking it up, he just knows. "He doesn't keep his phone on him all day. "He just puts it away and has no need to look at it. "He doesn't use social media. "He doesn't follow it. "He doesn't care about it.". - I'm obsessed. - I love this. - I'm obsessed with this person-. - You've seen "The Guest", right? - Yeah. - I'm thinking of when he gets back to his room. and he just goes (hums). (everyone laughs). - This guy's awesome.

- I'm obsessed with-. - Where's the problem, bro? - Just not this guy, but this person's obsession with this is so relatable to me. where like I have seen people without anxiety and been like, "Look at you just operate the world.". - It is frustrating. - I have a friend that I grew up with. and went to college with who has no anxiety, and she was fascinating to me. And still to this day like, I love being around her. 'cause the world's so interest to me.

I think it's just like the lack, we're so used to like now embracing our like... - [Shayne] Right. - I mean, I'm trying to think of like, you know, I think there have been times. where I thought someone was like this, and then you get to know them better and it's like, oh no, they do have, they're just better at hiding. or coping with it, but it's-. - No, I have a friend that, like, I'm gonna be confident, I don't anyone here is like this. And it like, she is just like, "Ah. "Let's go. "What? "What do you mean you're nervous?

"What do you mean? "You don't think you can do it? "I think you can. Let's go.". - I have met people like that who just are so chill. Whatever. I feel like sometimes with people like that, they can't comprehend anxiety. - No. - And that's what's tough. 'cause then when you're anxious, they're like, "What? I don't understand." - No, 100%. There were times where it was so fun to be around her, but then there were times where it was like, it was ridiculous, 'cause it would be like, we're about to like, 'cause yeah, I did theater with her, and it would be like, she'd be like,

"Why don't you think you can do it?". And I was like-. (Shayne laughs). And I was like, "I'm having imposter syndrome. "I don't feel like I'm good enough.". And she was like, "But you should feel like you're good enough.". - Yeah, I should. - Well, if I could do that, then I don't know. - No, but confidence of that level is fascinating. 'cause I'm just like, "Oh, you don't think certain thoughts.". - Yeah. - Like in a good way. Like, unnecessary thoughts. You don't have the monkey brain thing. where it's like that monkey on your shoulder. that's telling you shit. - That's what monkey brain is?

- I don't know. I think a therapist once referred to it as that. - So I actually have been told that I don't get anxious. in the same way sometimes. Like, you know, like I don't have. that like kind of worst case scenario brain. that I think a lot of people have. And I think for some people that is hard for them. to like kind of relate to. - Well, anxiety comes in many different forms. - [Angela] Exactly. - But it's just like, it's the complete void of any form of anxiety. - Exactly. And I feel like you are so, you're layered.

- Thank you. - You're welcome. And like this friend of mine was so not even that, and it was hard for me to get deep on a different layer. - To me it's like I kinda just don't believe it. Like, I don't believe that you can have. that lack of depth of feelings. Like, you know, I feel like they just, they don't know this person well enough yet. - I think that's also very likely. I don't know if I've met someone who I think has never.

gone through any sort of mental struggles. You know, it doesn't have to be diagnosable, but if it's just like something. - I think mental struggles, I think this person, like my friend, has been nervous before, has been sad before, has been scared before, but like anxious, like a certain type of like in your body, like, "Oh my god, I have no reason to feel this way.". Or like... Yeah, I think like normal everyday emotions. that are reactions to your surroundings,

I think this person has. Like, it's not like a psychopath type of thing. - [Shayne] Right. - But I think it's just like the idea. of like kind of like an ease to life that this person has. where it's like, "Oh, I'm lost. "I know how to get home.". - I mean, it kind of makes me think of, you guys know the movie "Unbreakable"? - Mm-hmm. - You know how it's like his whole theory is like, well, Samuel L. Jackson, his character is like so, his body's like so broken and so weak and so brittle. Like, he like breaks all his bones if he like moves at all. And he's like, "Well, if that's true,

"then there must be the opposite of this. "where like someone's so strong. "that like nothing on their body can break.". And it's like, I wonder. if there's like someone so mentally ill. that there must be the opposite. where there's someone so not mentally, like if there's a spectrum, maybe they're just like the full end of the spectrum. where it's like, "Yeah, I don't really have that.". - Well, it also reminds me of people who you meet. and their family is like kind of perfect. - No way, dude. - They're just like, "Oh yeah, our whole family hangs out every weekend. "and we all love each other and we never have issues.". It's just like, what planet?

- No, it's not. Do not believe his lies. (everyone laughs). Dude, none of that-. - I love that. - Find me a family that's not so (beep) up. (crew laughs). - Well, I think even the families that aren't so (beep) up, there's just a little like-. - No, they are so (beep) up. - But there's a little (beep) up. - No, every family is so (beep) up. That's, I'm standing-. - Anna Karenina over here. - Yeah. - Yeah, I mean, I have a hard time believing.

that there's anyone who's just got nothing going on. Now diagnosable, like needing medication, yeah, I think there's plenty. - 100%. And what's funny to me is her obsession with, OP's obsession with it. - That's what's so funny. - It's relatable to me where you go-. - It's very sweet. - Where your like neuroses sometimes are so like. at the front of your life, that when you see someone with such ease, it's so like, it's like a fantasy. You're like, "Whoa.". - I don't remember the last time I saw someone like that.

- I know. - I also wonder-. - Like, I use Maps to get literally home. Even if I know how to get home, I use it just because. - I think it's a good habit, honestly. - But like when I see someone just like, like she said, like OP said, to just get home doesn't use a phone. - I'm also curious how old this person is. 'cause, you know, it's also a matter of like, maybe if she talked with him he'd be like, "Oh, well I used to. "In getting older and working on things I've gotten better.". - A lobotomy, - He's coping with things in a certain way.

- Social media. Was he before? - Yeah, I mean, and look like, yeah, the internet. and social media can provide a lot of great stuff. He doesn't use social media, which look, I mean, social media, I think-. - I think you're fully living a different life. if you don't have social media. - I think social media really (beep) us up a lot. And I say that and that's part of my job. I think it is so designed to manipulate our brains. that it caused a lot of anxiety. I think him not using social media. probably is a factor here.

- It must be where he lives too. It must be like an option. where you don't need to be on that. The job that he has, he doesn't need it. - But it's also true. And we should just say this again. of like some people just come across one way. and we just actually don't know what's going on inside. - 100%. - We should have like a "Challenge Pit", like who can be the most normal for like an hour? - Yeah. Be normal for 10 minutes. - Be normal for like just, I need you to be normal for like five (beep) minutes.

- But like really though, I think about this, this is dark, but you know like with true crime, there are like serial killers. who like, yeah, they had a family and kids and everyone-. - And they didn't use Maps to get anywhere. - Everyone in the community thought they were awesome. It's like, and they were a serial killer. - Most charming. - You don't really know sometimes. Comments here. Someone said, "Sounds like a man who is confident. "and somewhat content with himself.". OP said, "He's definitely confident. "and I assume content with himself. "Honestly, I'm jealous of it.". Someone said, "A normal dude who was transported here from the 1980s. "before the internet, before GPS, and before social media.

"Rare nowadays.". - People in the '80s worse. - OP says, "He was born in 1983.". So I do think he's older. So I think there's also a lot of elements of like, maybe he would be like, "Oh yeah, in my 20s I was an anxious mess. "And I've learned, like I put in a lot of work, "and I've gotten to this point.". - It's actually so true. I'm thinking about people like in my older generation, like my grandpa wasn't like an anxious dude. - My anxiety-. - I... Maybe he wasn't. - Yeah, maybe he wasn't.

Maybe he is. But I will say like the older I've gotten, the more things have gotten better. Like, in my early 20s I was a (beep) mess. - Exactly. Yeah, same. - I was thinking thoughts that I have now gotten over, and a lot of it has from like, you know, the older you get in life, you're not as like holding on to who am I. and what is my life? 'Cause you start to kind of move past those milestones. You just go, "Well I'm just living life and...". - Yeah. - I don't know. Someone said, "How exactly did we get to the point. "where being an average person was considered shocking?".

Lastly, someone said, "The idea of normal is often made. "to be this weird cookie cutter version of things. "where we are all the same. "But all you described here was a normal person. "that's paying attention to the present. "and growing on top of what little effort they put in today. "It looks big because they've been doing it for years. "Truly the biggest bit of sadness one should feel about this. "is that they didn't get the same environment. "to grow at that pace. "And that is no one's fault. "but life and random number generator luck, to be honest. "Doesn't entirely stop you from being able to have it. "in your lifetime.". - Yeah. - So is he single or...

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New subscribers only. Varies by plan. That's 10 free HelloFresh meals. just by going to hellofresh.com/freepitreddit. HelloFresh. America's number one meal kit. Back to the show. Next story. "Am I the asshole for refusing to give up my vacation days. "so my coworker can go on her honeymoon?". Asshole! - Maybe. - Lawyer up!

- Yeah. Your coworker's cheating on you, dude. (Angela laughs). - "I work at a small company. "where vacation time is pretty limited. "and we have to request it months in advance. "I put in my request almost a year ago. "to take a two week vacation during the holidays.". - Where is he going? - "My plan was to visit family who live outta the country, "something I only get to do once every few years. "Recently a coworker of mine. "who's getting married came up to me. "and asked if I'd be willing to give up my vacation days. "so she could go on her honeymoon. "She apparently didn't realize. "how quickly the days would fill up. "and waited too long to request her time off.

"Now the only way she can go is if someone cancels. "And since I have one of the longest vacation blocks, "she came to me first. "I told her I was really sorry, but I can't give up my time. "This trip means a lot to me, "and it's the only time I can see my family this year. "She wasn't happy and told me I was being selfish. "for not accommodating her once in a lifetime event. "Now a few other coworkers are chiming in. "suggesting I could be more flexible. "since I don't have special circumstances like a wedding. "I feel bad, but I also planned this trip far in advance. "and it's important to me. "Am I the asshole for not giving up my vacation. "so she can go on her honeymoon?".

- This is a crazy like vacation system. - Yeah. - I'm going on vacation. You can't. - Yeah. Does he work at like a-. - [Shayne] A small company. - Like a hotline and like someone needs to man the phones. at all times? - I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I'm assuming jobs where, you know-. - It's Tegan and Sara. - It's Tegan and Sara! - It's Tegan and Sara. So Sara needs time. - Good job. - I assume like, you know, with a lot of jobs. where maybe it's like a more necessary, like-. - There jobs more important than this? - I just mean like where it's-.

- No, I-. - If you're working at like a maybe a small clinic. - Yeah. - Or something where it's like you need people there. You can't like shift your schedule. - Her immediately flipping and calling him selfish is, I don't think I've ever called anyone selfish, like especially a coworker to their face. I'd be like, well, I can never really work with them again. I don't know. That's a crazy accusation to throw out. - Yeah, I can't fathom, but I know we work in a very specific type of job. of like just asking someone to take their PTO.

Like, to retract their vacation for me. - And like clearly like, you know, the person posting this like empathizes with them. - They feel bad. - I can't say clearly. I mean, I want to believe that they do, but it's like, hey, like, you know, maybe ask someone else. Like, I'm sure if they were kinder about it. and like tried to work something out, maybe-. - Like, a honeymoon is once in a lifetime, but a honeymoon is just a vacation that you can push back.

It's not like there's a specific window. you have to have the honeymoon. You can have the honeymoon later. Unless they already booked the honeymoon. but they didn't take their PTO. But it's still on them. - It feels like because of her workplace, you can't do last minute vacations. - Yeah. - Like, it feels like-. - It has to be months in advance. - It feels like what he did is the right way, and she has to unfortunately do that. Like, she can't like force him to change his plans,

and that's just their work environment. - 'Cause if he changes it, it's like now he's gonna have to wait another year for this. But his circumstances sound very special too. of like he sees his family once every few years. Like, a lot of people have their honeymoon. a year after their wedding. - Yeah, I was gonna say it feels like a newer trend. where it's like, "Oh, and like, you know, "we're gonna do our honeymoon way later.". - It's like so old fashioned to be like, "Okay, tomorrow they get on a plane.". - Yeah. - Bro, I just saw you. Just hanging out like all day. - Literally. - Yeah. I don't see the problem with-.

- It's kind of crazy to have a full wedding. and then go on a vacation the next day. And people have stopped doing it. 'cause it's just ridiculous. - Yeah. It's like you want it to make, if you're planning a wedding and a honeymoon, that sounds like a nightmare to me. But that's a whole different-. - Yeah. No, you can't force someone to give up their PTO. - Yeah, and it was them immediately turning around. and calling him selfish. or quickly thereafter calling him selfish or them selfish. - That's what's also weird about this work's way.

of like getting time off. is that everyone's time belongs to themselves. You shouldn't have to like ask for your time. Like, it's just a breach of privacy to be like, "I need your free time for my free time.". Like, it shouldn't add up like that. - Yeah. And I don't know the work situation that they're in, if it's like-. - Nurses or something. - They go to the HR or the boss and ask for like, "Is there something we can do about this situation. "so I can get this time off?". - They should be asking somebody else as like a mediator.

that's not each other because that's so (beep) up. - A bunch of comments. "Just say, 'I'm sorry my trip is non-refundable. "'and expensive. "'There's no way I could undo the plans I've been making. "'for a year.'. "No other words necessary. "It's on her and on the company. "to decide if they could make an exception. "for her special event she badly planned for.". - It is a company issue, I would say. - Totally. Totally. "To those saying no is a complete sentence, "sure, absolutely. "But this is not just one person but several coworkers. "Most people like to try to maintain at least neutrality. "with their coworkers who they see daily.

"and can have an impact on their career. "So having a legit logic to politely reference. "can win them back to neutral and may be worth it.". I do agree with that. 'Cause there's the thought-. - Well, what we're saying like with Redditors. being so quickly like, "Oh, just cut them outta your life.". It's like, I don't think you ever think. about the implications of fully like-. - Yeah. - Shutting someone down. It's like there's a reason people. don't go around like saying how they feel exactly. - Totally. Because with coworkers you're stuck with them. - Yeah. - And I understand like to make your job like tolerable, you do wanna maintain neutrality.

You want to like be like, okay, I don't wanna have enemies that I go work with. who are gonna make my life hell. They might be in the wrong, they're assholes. But it's talking about like making your job easier. So yeah, like no is a complete sentence. if it was like someone-. - Stranger. - If it was someone you don't have to see every day. Or even a friend 'cause yeah, a friend you can choose. to never see again usually. But a coworker, you can't. You're there. - Maintain civility. - So I understand like trying to go about this in a way.

that kind of like-. - Deescalates. - Keeps it calm. "Not the asshole. "The only asshole here is your boss. "who apparently won't hire a temp. "or close shop to accommodate this. "Sucks for her, but she should have been more proactive. "I'm assuming this wedding and honeymoon was long planned. "Also, LOL at all your coworkers ganging up on you. "saying you should cancel. "'cause they don't want to be the ones to cancel. LMAO.". - Oof. That's a good point. - No, this job, and I know there's just so many jobs that are legit a grind. and like a pit where you're stuck and like-.

- Smosh. - No, this job is, I feel like really great. with this type of stuff. - This is a Smosh Games. No, well you said it's a pit. - Oh. Smosh Pit. But so many jobs like from what I've heard from people. and what I read about, like people are stuck in jobs. where it's like really hard. Like, there's no flexibility. And this sounds like one of them. So that's tough. And I agree like the asshole is the boss. Or even if the boss is cool, like the situation they're all stuck in. - It's not each other just fighting for your own time. Yeah.

- It's the man. - It's the system. - Next story. It's from True Off My Chest. The title is just "Meowing coworker.". - Been there. - My coworker who's a VTuber. - Yeah. A PNGTuber. (Shayne laughs). - Wait, you have to keep reading. (everyone laughs). - Is there more? - No, that's it. "So I was having a casual morning, nothing special.

"Went into work saying my good mornings and hellos as usual. "Never had a weird situation occur in two plus years. "until yesterday.". - They work at a cat cafe. (everyone laughs). - I never saw any cats though. - It's usually empty. - "I walked in and said hello. "to one of my coworkers, female. "And she looked me dead in the eye and goes, 'Meow.'. "Now I'm standing there like, what do I say? "And there's this awkward silence, "and the lady is still looking at me for a response. "Everyone else is pretty busy, "so I'm like 90% sure they didn't hear the meow. "So I did the only logical thing.

"any normal human being would do.". - And barked. - "Meowed the (beep) back. "while staring her back dead in the eyes. "The only problem was my meow was 10 times louder, "so most of the office floor looked up at me. "and they saw me staring at a coworker dead in the eyes. "and meowing. "Not sure what the hell they're thinking of me. "No one spoke to me for the rest of the day. "What a day.". - End of story? - Some say this is the beginning of the story. (crew laughs). - Wait, so that sucks. So he's only the one that was seen meowing,

- Last seen meowing. This man. (crew laughs). Yeah, I mean, look, he did what he had to. He matched their freak and was punished for it. And, you know-. - [Shayne] Like Jesus. - I'm gonna ask something that may be unlikable. - Okay. - Do you think they're (beep)? - Not yet. - Not yet, but they're about to. - Someone meows at me at the bar. - I'm like, okay. - I'm arching my back to make myself look bigger.

- I can't believe he meowed back, to be honest. - 10 times louder. He committed. - [Spencer] Yeah. - We all have embarrassing moments. - Yeah. - Not like this though. - I've probably had something worse. - But we work here. I can do anything here. There's nothing You can't, like we could get away with so much more here. than probably any job. - I can't get away with anything. - If I walked out into our main area-. - And you were meowing?

- And meowed at the top of my lungs, a lot of people wouldn't even look up. - Yeah. - No, I, yeah. - No, they would be like, "Are you rolling?". - They'd truly be like, "Oh, are you doing your job right now?". - I think, okay, if you meowed under your breath, okay, and we were like normal people in a normal work environment. and then I meowed back out of courtesy. or like yes anding you, and then everyone looked at me, didn't hear you do it, I would go, "He meowed at me.". - Yeah. - Your honor-. - I'd be like-. - He meowed! - She meowed first.

- She meowed first. (laughs). Your honor, she meowed. - Comments. "You did the right thing meowing back.". - Hey, dude, you did the right thing. - "But trust me, the tone and volume matter. "I don't know why, but it does.". OP said, "See, I didn't think I was being loud, "but it's not like I meow all the time, "so it came out a lot louder than I was expecting.". - Well, he needs to be practicing. - He's like, "It's not like I meow all the time.". - Someone said, "Maybe she's a big fan of 'Super Troopers'.". I guess there's the meowing game in "Super Trooper". I haven't seen "Super Troopers" in a long time.

- It's pretty cringe, bro. - "Will confirm this. "if our conversations progress further than meowing.". Someone says, "So this is all I have to do. "to get my coworkers to stop talking to me?". There you go. Update. - We're in bed together. - If they (beep), I want us to blast music, and I want everyone to get up and dance. - Okay. You're putting money on that they are gonna (beep). - If they (beep) or fall in love, I'm gonna lose my (beep) mind. - Okay. What do you think? - He was fired.

- You think he was fired? - And then they (beep). - And then they (beep). Okay. I think it's just gonna be kind of boring and a lame-. - Yeah, and that's what it will be. But I'm just giving myself-. - Headcanon. Headcanon, bro. - A little bit of a something. - Okay, here we go. "Yo, one of y'all done me dirty. "So I was already feeling skeptical. "'cause the post had blown up bigger than I thought. "Anyways, I go into work a bit nervous as is. "I'm walking inside, "and everyone usually says hi, hello, et cetera, but-". - They're meowing? - "Hello, et cetera, "but everyone is minding their own business. "Not a single person has said anything.

"I'm thinking I'll quickly get over to my desk. "I'm looking for the meowing coworker secretly, "but I can't find her anywhere. "Just wanted to see if there was any awkwardness. "But she's nowhere to be found. "I thought that's a bit weird. "But I walk over to my desk, and I kid you not dead serious, "someone put catnip on my desk and left a paper, "which had a screenshot of this comment. "I don't know why, "but I got this bad feeling someone from my work. "has read my post. "WTF." - You got a feeling? - "Someone I work with was definitely on this thread. "I can't tell who it is,

"but I feel like everyone was looking up at me. "and looking away. "Like the whole office knows, but no one's saying anything. "The whole day went by. "and I didn't hear anything from no one. "What the actual (beep)? "Now, out of all these people, "how the hell am I gonna find that one person? "And if the meowing coworker is reading this, "I wanted to woof at you today.". - I want you. - Oh! "And if the meowing coworker is reading this, "I wanted to woof at you today, winking emoji. "JK. But where were you today for real?".

So they want to (beep). - This is the worst update. I wanted them to hook up. - Woof. - Yeah. - That's rough, buddy. - He had utter humiliation. - Also, like the idea of that, I don't think I could survive in an environment. where if you do one cringe thing, everybody gives you the cold shoulder. - Oh yeah, no. - Like, I have lived my life-. - At least here, you don't get the cold shoulder, you just get it on a thumbnail over and over and over. - Yeah, it gets clipped.

and our fans are gonna reference it forever. They're gonna comment, "I fear I'm losing the room,". over and over again. - And then it just gets printed out and shit like that. - Yeah, and they draw fan art of it. - And that's fine. Then it's your brand. But could you imagine a cold shoulder? - No. We're so blessed. - No. - At this job, we're very blessed where at this job. doing something cringe honestly. is kind of a good thing sometimes. - It's kind of like when a little kid-. - It actually kind of helps us a lot. - It's literally like when a little kid. in like an adult environment.

comes out wearing a Spider-Man costume. and everyone goes, "Spider-Man!". (Shayne laughs). - That's like our whole job. Yeah. - That's what I feel like. When I do something stupid, everyone goes, "Yay.". - No, I would fail at probably 99% of jobs. I think anyone who watches this show spots pretty quickly-. - Remember when you were Selina for a day? - Shayne could not work anywhere but this. When I was complaining about showing up here at 8:00 AM. and most people listening to this were like, "I was at work two hours before that.".

- I wasn't this on my way to saving lives at 4:00 AM. - But a job where I have to like not be silly ever, I'm gonna fail. If every day is "Try Not To Laugh". - God made me silly, bro. - I show up to work-. - Me in the workplace, it's a real "Try Not To Laugh" in here. - So me in my interview to like start the job with HR. So I'm like, so like every day is "Try Not To Laugh"? - Wait, so every day I can't laugh? - I can't laugh. - Every day, but there's no spit? - They're like, "This is a funeral home.".

And I'm like, "So preemptive funeral?" - So every day. it's "Try Not To Laugh"? (everyone laughs). I'm dying. - Who we roasting? (Shayne laughs). - So every day it's "Don't Win"? - So what if I come in with my gentleman's outfit? All right, moving on. Final story. Ooh shit. This comes from Best of Redditor Updates. - (beep) yeah. - Buckle up. - (beep) yeah, we needed this. - "My coworkers are engaged.". - Been there. - I've been there and the internet blew the (beep) up.

- "My coworkers are engaged, "but one of them is cheating with my boss.". - This did not happen. (everyone laughs). - Let's be clear, this did not happen. - "My question is regarding a rather sticky situation. "I am unwillingly involved in. "In short, I think I'm reliving an episode of 'The Office'. "I have two colleagues. "who are about to get married to each other. "Let us call them Joe and Kate. "Unfortunately, I know for a fact. "that Kate is having sex with Peter,

"who is my direct manager. "It's an open secret in the office. "that Peter and Kate often go on work trips together, "and everyone knows it except Joe. "This isn't speculation because about a month ago, "Peter and Kate were gone, but there was a deadline to meet. "So Peter joined one of our meetings via video, "and we saw Kate try to sneak behind undressed.". (Spencer laughs). Jesus. "Fortunately, Joe wasn't in the meeting. "Different team. "I am wondering what exactly I should do here. "Morally, I am against cheating, "but also, and I can't stress this enough,

"I just don't wanna deal with the mess of it all. "However, the wedding-" - Real. - "However the wedding is approaching. "and I have received an invite. "I can't in good conscious go to this wedding. "when I know what I know. "I feel a moral compulsion to tell Joe. "But is it even my business? "Should I even get involved? "Other than this mess, "I generally, like my office and my coworkers.". - I'll make that shit my business. - I'm there. - "I am paid well for my role. "And other than his less than stellar attitude. "towards sexual fidelity, "Peter is a good manager who has my back. "My industry is quite niche and my skillset is specialized,

"so finding another job won't be an issue. "But I am comfortable here and really don't wanna switch. "But every time I see poor Joe around the office, "the guilt consumes me. "I am so anxious about this that my appetite has reduced. "and my husband and I have seriously started looking. "for a therapist for me to help me deal.". - Aw. - I get that though. I've never dealt with like a secret of that level. Like, I don't know how I'd handle that. - I want to believe. that I would like leave an anonymous tip.

- [Shayne] Totally. - And, you know, I mean, think about it. What if she gets Peter's job? - What if she gets Peter's job? - So Peter is her manager. - I didn't know his job was up for-. - Yeah, well, no, I'm saying he would get fired. for going on work trips. - Oh, this is so (beep) messy. - Like, that's what I'm saying. - She's talking about not wanting to rock the boat. Like, that's her only holdback of just like, "I like my job.". - I get not wanting to rock the boat, but like-. - But I also, if you're kind of keeping, you know,

keeping morals out of it and you're going, "Oh, just work related-". - Then this is even fucked. - Like, is this my business, whatever. I'm like, this is a storm. - You're in it, bro. - This is about to become worse. Like, your job is about to be (beep) because of this. So even disregarding like, oh, what's right and wrong and what should I do for Joe? It's like, no, on a professional level, this is a ship that's heading towards an iceberg. And as a professional, your boss is breaking the rules, so you should go to HR. because this is unethical workplace behavior.

- I can't think of another reason for HR than this. - This is quite literally what HR is kind of for. If they saw it, and also they saw it on a video meeting-. - The fact that it didn't-. - So it's now their business. because they literally saw it in a meeting. It's like, hey... It's no longer, oh, I have this assumption. or I know about this through whatever. - No, this is like-. - It's, hey, we were having a literal meeting. - This came into work hours. - Yes. At that point you can go to HR.

- Also being invited to the wedding, if I was ever invited to the wedding of someone. who I know is like actively cheating on their fiance-. - I couldn't go. No. - I would be like, well, like, you know, we gotta tell him. We gotta like leave a note. - I'd have a horrendous time at that wedding. - I would not be well. I'd be pacing back and forth. - I'd probably have to get a therapist. - I'd be eating the cake before they cut the cake. I'd be a (beep) mess. - So Joe is at a separate team, but Kate works directly beneath Peter,

who she's cheating with. They're planning work trips. where they're clearly just going and having affairs, which is also HR needs to know about that. - Can they get their (beep) shit together at least? I keep thinking about her like being like, "Whoops.". - No, that's really funny, dude. - I'm always blown away by like the audacity. of so many cheaters. - It's the audacity. - The thing I say, this is (beep) up. But whenever people are like liars or cheaters. where I'm like, at least do it well. - Yeah, but also I'll say.

that sometimes people wanna get caught. Like, they're subconscious is like, "I can't do this anymore.". - Oh, interesting. - "I can't be honest for myself. "So I need someone to rat me out.". - Yeah, I do agree that that's the case sometimes. I also think sometimes people just get so comfortable. where they're like, "I am fine.". - "Vanderpump Rules". - This was actually originally posted. on a website called Ask a Manager, and it was reposted onto Reddit. So a response from Ask a Manager. "Do you have HR? "If Peter and Kate aren't in each other's chain of command,

"HR may not care. "Although it sounds like it's causing enough drama. "and distraction in your workplace that they should. "But if there's any reporting relationship there, "it's very much their business. "and that might be the easiest route. "to know you've done something about it.". Someone else said, "By any chance does that company specialize. "in red flag sales and service?". - Let's leave the comedy to Smosh. - Someone said, "This is a rare situation. "in which an anonymous letter might be the choice, "but only if you can absolutely be anonymous.".

Someone said, "I don't think anyone would trust an anonymous letter. "saying that their fiance is cheating on them.". - I might. - Oh my god. Any "Jersey Shore" fans in the room? - No. - Dear Ronnie. No, yeah, it was, "Dear Sam, Ronnie made out with a girl in bed.". (everyone laughs). - Update. And it's long. - (beep) yes! - Okay. "Thank you so much for responding to my question. "I couldn't really respond. "to any of the comments on your post, but I read them. "and really had a good think about everything you said.

"and what the commenters were saying as well. "I'm here to offer an update in case you. "or any of your readers may be interested. "Spoiler alert, it's explosive. "The clarification. "HR was kind of a joke in my former company. "They didn't do anything but perpetuate gossip. "No such thing as anonymous complaints.". Oh. "Peter and Kate were different departments. "Think sales and accounting.". Okay. "The good news. "A few days after I submitted the letter to you, "I ended up submitting my resignation. "I start my new job next month. "So far my coworkers seem nice.

"We've had one casual hang mixer organized. "by the new workplace. "Everyone bought food. "My brownies were a hit.". - We don't care about your-. - Yeah, I don't care how good things are! "My new company had been trying to poach me for a while. "and I just decided to take the plunge. "I truly can't tell you how happy I am. "to be away from that mess. "I've just been relaxing at home now. "My former coworkers keep me updated about everything. "that's been happening. "and safe to say I left at the right time. "Bullets dodged. "Peter was blindsided by my resignation. "and asked me why I was leaving. "and if there was anything they could do to keep me.

"But I refused. "I was willing to serve my notice period, "but Peter said it wasn't necessary. "and I could leave immediately. "since I clearly thought I was better than them. "It was in that moment, it became clear to me. "that I'd been telling myself Peter is a good boss, "but he clearly isn't. "Even your advice touched on this briefly. "So I cleared my stuff out by the end of the day, "went home, and cuddled with my dogs. "Since then Peter's boss contacted me. "asking me to at least serve my notice period. "I only responded by sharing Peter's last email to me. "where he threatened.

"to have me escorted off company property. "if I wasn't gone by the end of the day. "The grand boss proceeded to call me. "to convince me to come back. "In a rare moment of wanting to be confrontational, "I told him I wouldn't feel comfortable coming back. "because of many reasons, not just Peter's rudeness. "I told him all about Peter and Kate. "I told him my former company. "simply didn't have adequate safeguards. "So even if I wanted to report this nonsense, "I couldn't without being afraid of retaliation. "My former grand boss clearly wasn't ready. "for my verbal diarrhea, said he would call me back,

"but it has been blessed silence since. "On the actual update, "AKA what is going on with Peter, Joe and Kate. "The day after I left Peter and Kate left. "for another business trip. "However, when Kate returned home, "she realized their house was empty, completely bare. "It would seem Joe has been aware of the affair for a while, "and instead of confronting Kate or Peter, "he'd been lining his ducks in a row. "so he could just up and disappear. "He resigned by email, no mention of a notice period. "No one knows where he is or what he is doing. "Kate apparently tried to file a missing persons,

"but Joe had already informed the police. "he wasn't a missing person. "At the same time as Kate came home. "and realized Joe was gone, "his entire family also blocked all forms. "of communication with her. "She tried to show up at Joe's parents' house. "only for his parents to claim They don't know her, "they never knew her, "and if she didn't get off their property, "they'd call the police. "I know all this from my coworkers. "who know all this from Kate. "because she can't stop talking about it at work. "She doesn't know why Joe would've done this. "Few days after that, she also dumped Peter. "in a rather public unhinged way.

"saying that he hypnotized her. "and her life was falling apart because of him. "But apparently it didn't stick for long. "because the next day they were having loud. "and violent sex in Peter's office during lunch hours. "There are rumors circulating. "that both Peter and Kate are about to be fired. "Not sure why they haven't been fired already.". - Why would they get fired? - "Some of my former coworkers have asked me. "if I could keep an eye out for jobs for them. "in my new company. "Thank you for your love and compassion. "Love and blessings to you.". Wow. Good for Joe.

Just absolutely had it all, he had it all planned out, I guess. Wow. - Yeah, I don't know where to start, frankly. - Yeah, that was a whole lot. - [Spencer] There was a lot. - So Joe has known for a long time. and was just kind of lining everything up. to just fully disappear. - There's so many standout moments. There's him going to the police saying. that my ex-girlfriend is going to report me missing. I'm not missing.

- He planned everything. This is Batman with prep time. - Legit. - I'm trying to think of a, what's like the, he's gonna be like the "Bourne Identity" theme song. Like, the Moby song. - Yeah, when he's in the water in "Bourne Ultimatum". and then he like starts swimming away. Yeah. No, this guy... - The family being like, "We don't know you. "We never knew you.". - And then the sex in the office, like-. - Whoa. That was-. - Feels like a crime. I don't know what the crime would be.

- I don't think this was a situation. where she's trying to get caught. I think she's just this belligerent. - I think like-. - 'Cause the fact that she's saying in front of everyone, like, "Yeah, he hypnotized me,". and then like a couple minutes later, they're just having sex in his-. - Peter feels wild too. Peter feels very wild. - Oh yeah. And Peter's behavior towards-. - Towards Joe. - No, towards OP when when he is like, "Yeah, get all your stuff outta here.". And they're like, "Oh wait, you're actually a really bad boss. "and a bad person.". - And then they had to bring in the grand boss. - It just does seem true with Reddit stories.

where when someone's cheating. and it's like, well, they're a good person otherwise, and then their behavior kind of shows, oh, their behavior outside of that is also bad. - Yeah. - It's like, well yeah, they're capable of that, so they're also capable of-. - I wanna know where Joe went. - They don't feel guilty. Some say... - Where did Joe-. - He's out on the open road on a hog. - I love him being like, "I was being poached for a year. "So I just took that opportunity.". - Yeah, no, that was like a-. - And now everybody else is, this is what I was saying earlier though of like, this is a ship that's heading straight for an iceberg,

'cause look at it, they're about to lose a bunch of employees. If you're HR, you need to go, "Oh, this is a huge problem.". - Yeah. - I can't help but feel like OP did nothing. - No, they didn't really, they didn't do anything. - OP kind of just like was like-. - I'm out. - I've been thinking about making a career shift. for a while. - Okay. A little bit of a hot take on this. Maybe. Maybe not. But I understood a little bit of OP being like nervous. of like, okay, maybe anonymous letter. You know, maybe tell Joe. - But they just didn't even do that.

- But they kind of didn't do that. And I'm like, once you quit the job, now tell Joe. - Yeah. - You quit. They were kind of saying to the grand boss like, "Hey, some stuff has been going on.". - We can't keep-. - I know. Some stuff is going on that's made me uncomfortable, and the grand boss is like, "I'll call you back.". And they were waiting on the call and never got it. - [Angela] Yeah. - Still though, it's like, okay, man, but you still, you quit the job. You're talking about how great your new job is. You don't wanna like throw something to Joe? Send him an email? - Yeah. I mean, also Joe-. - Luckily he already knew. - Joe knowing this whole time was quite the update.

And doing this like grand master ghost was crazy. - Yeah, 'cause you don't know, based on this company's behavior, based on this company's behavior, you don't know the grand boss was gonna alert to Joe. - I keep picturing Qui-Gon Jinn. - I know. - I keep picturing like-. - Grand Boss Tarkin over here. (everyone laughs). No, the language of this is hilarious. But I am a little disappointed in OP that it's like, okay, you're out, you're talking about how great it is. Just toss an email to Joe.

- I cannot get over-. - He's like, "Well, thank god Joe already knew. "'cause I didn't have to do anything.". - He's like, "I don's know if Joe's being cheated on, "but the brownies went over well with the new coworkers.". - 'Cause imagine how epic it would've been. if it's like you send an email to Joe being like, "Hey, I have reason to believe, "like I'm leaving the company. "I have reason to believe 'cause I saw this on a work call. "that your wife or your fiancee, "yeah, your fiancee is cheating on you with Peter.". And he just responds back just like-. - I know.

- "I'm already working on it. "Don't worry about it.". - This email will combust in two minutes. - Combust. (everyone laughs). - Your computer will explode in two minutes. What? - Yeah. - Joe, (beep) you. - The police know, and they know that-. - And then Joe walks away. and takes out the "Mission Impossible" mask. He's Peter. (everyone laughs). - And he's being hypnotized this whole time. by the grand boss. - [Shayne] My fiancee's. been cheating on me with me. - By the grand boss. - By the grand boss. Yeah. Where's the grand boss? Where does Ethan Hunt fit into this? - Yeah. No, but I think if I'm OP,

I'm definitely sending an email to Joe once I quit. The fact that they didn't do anything, I'm kinda like, okay, dude. - When was the wedding happening? - I don't know. - Well, they couldn't get time off. 'cause their coworker had their-. - Sick, dude. - Was going on their vacation. - That's (beep) awesome, dude. - This is the coworker-. - I can't come to your wedding. I have my funeral planned. - Someone at the end of a "Reddit Stories" episode. connecting all the Reddit stories together? I never heard of it. - I can do that. - Whoops. That was mean. - Am I the asshole? I said some really mean shit. - So my coworker, you know, we were on this show together,

and, you know, I thought I'd make a bit and she-. - I thought that joke would kill. - You know how we were saying it's like impossible. to be cringe at this job, but it just turns out. you really can be cringe. - You found it. - Literally it's impossible to work here. (everyone laughs). It's been so nice to hang. - Yeah. - Yeah. This has been great. - Hey, let's never have a coworker negative experience. - Let's never do it. - Let's never do that. - And next time, let's actually have pancakes.

- Oh, get your pancakes out. - Let's do it. - We need a shirt that says, "Get your pancakes-". - Or let's actually eat pancakes during "Reddit". - Get your pancakes out. It's time for "Reddit Stories". All right. Thank you for watching. Thank you both for being here. Thank you for your input. You guys are great coworkers. (Spencer laughs). - Hey man, you're a good coworker. - I will say like-. - /gen. - This is truly like not, like this is such a silly job. Like, I know everyone watching this are working jobs. that are harder than this. Like, I'm very aware of that.

Especially for me, I feel like I'm so lucky. But also everyone we work with is just so cool. - Yeah. - Like, it's such a silly place. - I saw Brennan walk away, like as you did that. - Brennan was like-. - He's flicking me off, man, dude. - We were literally playing "Magic: The Gathering". at lunch the other day. - [Spencer] Whoa. - What job is this? - That's wild. - Silly. Silly job. Anyways, well, I hope you watching, I hope your job is okay. I hope your coworkers are okay. I hope like, you know. - I hope you're good, bro. - I hope you're good. And I hope you have a normal coworker.

who doesn't have anxiety. - Yes. - For you to be fascinated by. And if your coworker meows at you, don't meow back. - Don't meow back. - DNM. - We'll see you next Saturday. Comment down below any themes. or subreddits you want us to see on the show. We'll see you later. Bye. - Bye.