Most Embarrassing Stories Yet | Reading Reddit Stories

- Welcome back to "Reddit Stories.". Today we've got some really embarrassing ones. And joining me are two huge embarrassments. (Trevor laughs). Trevor and Angela. (laughs). - Oh man. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Wow. - Starting off there. How does that feel? - I'm not embarrassed at all. I've never felt embarrassed. And nothing you do will make me embarrassed. - Yeah. Same, dude. Totally. - Check out my thumbnail game. I can't be embarrassed for shit. - What does embarrass you guys?

Because we do such frankly embarrassing things. on this channel that I feel like at times, I don't know if I can be embarrassed anymore. - Yeah, I think like trying to walk. and genuinely falling in front of people. is pretty embarrassing. - Yeah, that's true. Yeah, a slight trip. - Yeah. - Yeah, and you're like... - It just sucks. - Yeah. No, that's it. I think that's pretty much the one thing. - It's too vulnerable. - Yeah. - Little trip up the stairs. - Oh my god. - Someone's coming down or something on the other side. and you just trip a little bit. - That sucks.

- Yeah. - [Angela] That sucks. - Brutal. - Yeah. All right, well let's get into some really-. - Let's freaking kill it, Trev. - Yeah. Let's go. - We know you don't keep points, but this one's gonna get a lot of points. - Okay. All right. - Me and Ang. Dynamic freaking duo. - Okay. First embarrassing story. This comes from Today I (beep) Up. "Today I (beep) up by making a girl I like laugh so hard. "she ended up in the hospital and I almost lost my job.". - Wow. - Yeah. - What a title. - This story's about me. - Sick, dude.

- That's awesome. - I'm (beep) embarrassed now. (beep) start there. - Let's just embarrass Shayne the whole episode. - Just not laugh at anything I say. "So there's this girl I like at work, "and we're really good friends. "We're having lunch, "and we're making those ironic depression meme jokes. "as most friends do.". You know, as all friends do. - Yeah. - Yeah, I (beep) hate myself. (everyone laughs). - "For some reason, "I, in my unknowingly stupid way to get her to laugh, "got the idea to say, "'Well, hey, you know what's just one letter away from sad?

"'Dab.'. "And promptly did the deed. "Also, I have the ability to cry on demand, "so I just stared stone cold at her. "and let two tears fall down. "She finds it funny, extremely funny. "So funny she drops to the floor. "and starts laughing her ass off. "After a good 30 seconds, "she starts grabbing her chest and coughing. "I asked if she was okay. "when she starts wheezing and begins to convulse a bit. "Freaking the (beep) out. "and thinking she's having a damn seizure, "I start to reach for my phone. "And in the exact second,

"my manager randomly decides to come in. "and sees this big guy towering over this poor little girl. "on the floor. "I only managed to cut off her impending rage by saying, "'I think she's having a seizure, and I'm calling 9-1-1.'. "Fortunately I was able to explain to her what happened. "after the ambulance came. "Turns out she has asthma and my joke caused a flare up. "and was waving her arms to try to tell me. "to get her inhaler. "Whoops.". - He ends the story with "whoops"? - Yeah. Whoopsie.

(everyone laughs). Uh-oh. - Dude, that's not even embarrassing. Imagine being that funny. - I know. - Having that much game, dude. - Yeah. But this first comment, one of these comments kind of nails what I was thinking. "Okay, but imagine actually dying laughing at a dab joke.". - Okay, yeah, but yeah, I'm thinking about the joke. So he is like, "What's one letter away from sad? "It's dab.". He dabs, then stares at her. Two tears come down? - That's actually pretty funny. - That's wild. - There's a meme that is one of my favorite memes.

from like back in 2015 where a guy's, it's a cartoon of him dabbing, and then it cuts to a closeup of his face, and he is just sobbing, crying underneath it. Makes me laugh so hard. I guess like it adds to the joke. that it's not one letter off, you know? Like, that's two letters off, but... - It's like such a long-. - Dude, I had that thought. No, this is embarrassing. - Sad and dab are... Or I guess if you swap the D but... - 'Cause, dude, when you said it. and you said one letter off,

I went through the thought process silently, I was like, "Is that one letter off?". And I reached the conclusion that it was. (everyone laughs). - Okay, it is technically-. - And I reached the conclusion. - It is technically one letter off, but you have to swap letters. It's a lot of work to do mentally. - Dude, no, I just was like, "Yeah, dab ends in a D.". - You're like, "Does it? "It does.". - Someone said, "My sister-in-law had to ban a game I used to play. "with her daughter because it made both of us laugh so hard. "we both had asthma attacks.

"Shame.". - Whoa, that must be really scary like having asthma. and it like-. - That's actually true. You just can't laugh anymore. - That's really freaky. - That's tough. - That's awful. Have you ever laughed so hard where you like can't breathe? Like, where it actually goes from laughter. to like a little bit of fear? I don't have asthma, so I don't have that. - I don't think I have fear, but I, yeah. - I one time nearly laughed so hard that I, I remember like kind of hyperventilating, like where I was like, "I gotta stop laughing.".

- I mean, your laughs are like (screeches). - It was bad. It was rough. It was forever ago, and it was something, it didn't even make sense. Like, I can't even, I don't know what the joke even was, but it was something Damien said. Like, it was me and some friends and Damien was there, and it was like one of those. where like a couple jokes are said. and people keep one-upping it in a great way. And then Damien said something weird, and I just lost it. - Oh. - And I remember just like crying, and then like reaching a point where I was like (wheezes). Like, I was like trying to breathe.

- That's so funny. I've laughed so hard I get the hiccups, and I hate that. - Oh, that sucks. - [Angela] Yeah. - [Trevor] I'll get chest pain. if I laugh too much. - Wow. - I will literally, like, I'll start like not being able to breathe. and get chest pain. And it's happened I think quite a bit. Maybe I'm just easy to impress. - You just laugh a lot. - I like to laugh. - [Angela] Wow. - [Trevor] Joyous boy. - There's an update. Little update here. - Oh my god. She died. - I went back, and I dabbed again. Killed her. - She was on the stretcher and I went... (everyone laughs). This is super sad. (everyone laughs). - "Hey, y'all remember me?

"Yesterday, I made a post about when I almost killed a girl. "by making them laugh so hard it caused an asthma flare up. "Well, thanks to the incredible support. "of the Reddit community, "I got hundreds of private messages urging me to go for it. "Y'all be crazy, LOL. "I asked her out, and guess what? "After promising it most likely would not result. "in another hospital trip, she said yes. "We're going out this Friday for dinner. "I know some people warned me about dating people at work, "but honestly, after what happened, "I think I'm kind of obligated by the universe to go for it. "Thanks for giving me the support to do it, guys.

"I was gonna flake out. "So remember ladies and gents, "if you ever have a crush on them, (beep) dab on them. "If it works with the haters, it'll work with the lovers.". - Okay, I don't want our people to hear that. - Nothing, nothing, I... You know what? I like this guy. Nothing about this I thought was embarrassing. until that last line. (everyone laughs). No, now I'm embarrassed. - This is really sweet though. What a meet cute. - I know. That's really sweet. - [Trevor] That's very sweet. - No, it sounds like she really liked him from the start. If she's laughing that hard at jokes he's saying and stuff.

- Yeah. - I mean, I don't know. But that's awesome. - Before their date, he should know where her inhaler is in her bag. - Yeah. He should warn her when he is about to dab. - He should keep it in a holster and be like, "You ready? "I got a heater.". - And then if he pulls it out. and he dabs while handing it to her. - Dead on site. - Extra move. All right, next story. "Today I (beep) up by misinterpreting the CEO's arm gesture. "in a job interview and then locking arms with him. "as if we were best friends forever.". (Angela laughs).

- Oh my god. I'm sorry. - What? - That's awesome. - Do they do like a drawing? (laughs). How is it? Is it like a arm hold? - I think it's like this. And he was like, "Oh, sorry.". - And then the CEO's like, "You're now the CFO.". That's how it works. Like, maybe his arm was out and he was like, "Oh.". - And then they started skipping. Then they went to Oz. "Obligatory this happened yesterday. "The memory still makes me cringe and cry.

"I had a job interview with the CEO in person despite COVID. "I was super nervous as usual.". This also is in 2021, so... - Okay. - "I was super nervous as usual, maybe even more than usual. "because I really wanted this job. "I tried to calm myself down, "but by the time the interview showed up, "I could literally feel my heartbeat in my throat. "He, 50-ish male, walked down the stairs towards me. "in his nice suit, but stopped halfway down. "I figured the interview would take place upstairs.

"So I got up to meet him. "And as I was walking up the stairs towards him, "he put his arm out and his elbow out. "And my brain just sort of went, 'Error!'. "I suppose it could have only meant two things. "It could have meant, please take my arm, m'lady, "so I can escort you to the room. "as if we're strolling down the promenade together. "Or please give me an elbow bump since we can't shake hands, "which is really not an uncommon gesture at all. "in the Netherlands," where I guess this takes place.

"So what did I do? "Yes, I went with option A, "and I eagerly locked arms with this strange man. "that I'd never met before in my life. "as if saying, 'Yes, good sir, let's go for that stroll.'". - That's awesome. - "And then we just stood there, arm in arm, "halfway up the stairs, sheepishly staring at each other. "I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. "I just didn't know what to do next, "and I don't think he'd fully understood what had happened. "So neither of us moved. "When he'd finally gathered his senses, he said,

"'I meant to give you an elbow bump,'. "after which I quickly put as much distance between us. "as I could and mumbled, 'Right, right. "'Yes, that makes much more sense,'. "because it did, let's face it. "And then we had the interview.". Oh man. - [Trevor] That's awesome. - I'm obsessed with this. I feel like I wanna feel it. So, okay, so he's like, "We'll do the interview up here.". Could you imagine? - But I like, he was walking down the stairs. and she was walking up, right? So it's like a this.

And she swings around. (everyone laughs). She had to do a full swing. - And then how do you like untie? - It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. This actually does remind me. Probably the most like occurring embarrassment in my life. is that I am just horrendous. when it comes to any sort of handshake greetings. Unless it's a standard, like standard handshake. or like you're going in for a hug. Any other variation, I always (beep) up.

I always (beep) it up. - Of the handshake? - Of just like any handshake like beyond, like that's just not the traditional just handshake. You know, when I see a friend, whenever their hand is going like this, my brain starts to like a million numbers and things. I'm just like, "Where is this gonna go?". And I always (beep) it up. I always (beep) it up. I never know what combination it's gonna be. And it always ends in a hug. I just often just am like, "Ah, get in here.".

- Yeah. - Yeah. - 'Cause that's all I know. - You just gotta call it out way early. You see someone coming in, I always just arms low and I go, "Come on, bring it in.". - Nice. - I just eliminate the fricking any chance of me (beep) up. - Oof. - Yeah. Some comments. "If I was the interviewer and this happened to me, "I'd be so disoriented I'd automatically pass the candidate. "to the next round.". Someone said, "I broke down crying in an interview once. "and I still got the job. "Interviews are weird sometimes.". - Yeah, he's definitely memorable.

Or this person's memorable. - Yeah. You know, I've never really had standard job interviews. I've only had auditions. - Auditions. Which a lot of funny, embarrassing stuff happens. during those too. - Yeah, but people do that shit on purpose. - Yes, so they remember. - 'Cause they're like, "I need to be...". 'Cause when you get into this industry, you hear all those (beep) stories. Did you ever hear the Danny DeVito "Taxi" audition story? - No. - And I just don't know if I believe this shit, or I'm like, if it was real, I'm like, cool, that happened in the '70s. Where like Danny DeVito.

when he auditioned for the sitcom "Taxi,". where he's playing like the manager of this taxi business. who's an asshole, the character's like this monstrous asshole. He showed up to the audition, walks into the room, and just yells at them about how bad the script is, and then slams the door behind him and leaves. And then after a couple seconds, he opens the door back up, and he is like, "Is that what you guys are like looking for?". And they like, loved it, you know. But now you have tons of actors who hear that shit-. - Who shouldn't hear that. - Do crazy shit in auditions. Like, every casting director I've talked to has been like, "Yeah, this guy brought a (beep) gun.".

- Oh. - Because it was just like the role had a gun in the scene, so they brought a (beep) either a prop gun or I don't know. But they do things where they're like, "I gotta set myself apart from the rest of the crowd.". - Yes, yes. - I gotta do something crazy. - Yes, I remember in college they were like, it was like a musical theater class, and they were like, "Wear a bright leotard. "They'll remember it. "If it's weird leotard, they'll remember it.". And then I remember like seeing like an audition, there's just a bunch of girls in weird shit.

Like weird, just to be memorable. - When I was interviewing at Mythical, I got all looking nice, but it was Halloween. And so I showed up and I had no clue what to do. I accidentally parked in Rhett's parking spot, and then Chase walks up to me. as I'm like getting out of the car. I never met anyone there before. And he is dressed as Eugene Levy, like "Schitt's Creek.". He's in like a nightgown. He's got the big old eyebrows. And he is like, "Hey, you actually can't park there. "You need to park in a different parking spot.". I was like, "I'm so sorry.". And then Josh and Nicole were both dressed.

as Guy Fieri in the interview. - Wow. - That's awesome. - Doing an interview for a job on Halloween is funny. - Yeah. It was pretty crazy. - Little update. OP got the job. - Awesome! - That's big. - I love that. - That's so big. - Man. - That's like a likable thing that would happen. like in a movie to your main character, and you'd be like, "I'm rooting for this.". - Oh yeah, that's a main character moment. Have you had a bad interview or audition or anything? - I had a Zoom commercial callback.

where I thought I was on mute and I wasn't. I had muted them. So even when people in the room tried to tell me. to be quiet, I couldn't hear them. And I was on the phone. 'cause some of these commercial callbacks-. - Yeah, I'm in this (beep) stupid commercial callback. - It was a commercial callback. And I was like, "Yeah, I think red wine gets me really drunk. "versus white wine.". (everyone laughs).

'Cause at commercial callbacks specifically, they'll have you wait for a long time. And no one could be like, "Angela, Angela,". 'cause they were muted. So then I showed up, and they all had a weird face. And I was like, "What?". (Trevor laughs). And they were like, "We tried so hard.". And the one of the girls texted me, she went, "Girl, I tried so hard to get you to shut up, "but you kept talking.". - Dude, that reminds me. Back during like lockdown, we would have meetings and stuff at Smosh,

you know, over Zoom. And as a joke, one time I changed my username to Butt Idiot. So when I was there, it would say Butt Idiot. But then we didn't use Zoom for a while. And then "Goldbergs" came back, and we had a table read over Zoom. And I get into it. (laughs). With like everyone at "Goldbergs.". And then I see it. I'm like, "Oh (beep). "My name is Butt Idiot.". (everyone laughs). Butt Idiot.

- So dumb. - And of course like, I was like, nobody called it out. And then of course Sam Lerner was like, "Oh, Butt Idiot!". (everyone laughs). It actually helped. I was like, "Thank God. "Someone like could make a big joke out of it.". But it was like (beep). - Butt Idiot. And it also reminds me. My worst... I'm pretty proud of it. But a commercial audition, one of my first commercial auditions out here, I was still riding that train of like, "Gotta be different. "You gotta whatever.". - Oh no. - This was a commercial callback where you're in person, and it was for Tostitos, the like tortilla chips.

And we're supposed to be like two gamers, right? Hell yeah. So we have fake controllers. It's me and like another like 15-year-old. We're both like gaming and eating chips and stuff. And I just am like, "You know what'll be funny? "I'm gonna just stuff my (beep) mouth.". And I (beep) fill my mouth up to the point. And then he says some shit. We're like improvising. He's like, "This game is really fun, right?". And I go, "It sure is!". (everyone laughs). Fucking insane. And then for the second take,

the director who was like, I think he was like British. He was just like, "Yeah, for this second take, "can you not...". (everyone laughs). I was like, "Yeah, for sure, man.". - Do you think they're just sitting there like, "Why are people doing this shit? "Like, why can't they just be normal?". - Knowing now that I'm like commercial auditions, they don't give a shit about what you say or anything. You should theoretically walk into a room. and they should be like, "Yeah.". That's really all... You're an object. You're an object. - Especially first round. - That's all. That's all.

Okay, enough about interviews. Next story. This one's... This one's good. - [Angela] Okay. - I love this title. - Uh-oh. - [Trevor] Okay. - "Today I (beep) up by submitting hardcore furry erotica. "instead of my final paper.". (Angela gasps). - That's just like you. - (beep) off! (everyone laughs). Wait, what? - "So I'm currently a fourth year computer science student. "at a pretty respected university. "and was looking to graduate this semester. "One of the classes I was taking was a class.

"in modern advancements. "and trends in the field of technology. "While the class didn't require too much heavy lifting, "it was a higher level one. "and required a good amount of work. "For our final, "our professor had assigned us a 20 page research paper. "into a current or possible future technology of our choice. "within the field. "I did my paper on helium-3 power generation. "I worked my ass off on this paper, "and in the end was super proud of it. "The papers were due last night at midnight, "and I held off on submitting my final draft till the end. "to get it as clean as possible.

"This is where I (beep) up big time. "Let me tell you a little about myself. "I don't work a normal job. "I tried it in my first year of school, "and I really didn't like it. "I've worked internships when they came up, "but outside of that, I really didn't work. "This and being a student really doesn't mix well though, "so I had to make money somehow. "For the past three years, I've gotten by. "on writing hardcore erotica on commission, "specifically for furries. "I would write anything, any fetish, any premise, anything. "In some parts of that community, I became really popular.

"At one point I was making almost $2,500 on Patreon. "along with the amounts I charge to my customers. "Am I proud of this? No. "I have written some really disgusting stuff, "but I paid the bills. "and the money was too good to pass up.". - Hell yeah. - "I told myself the minute I got a real job, "I was cutting and running from this work. "Well, this brings us to last night. "I had not gotten any sleep for the past few nights. "I had multiple projects due in the span of a few days. "I was running on nothing but coffee and Rockstar.

"I was nothing more than a walking corpse. "and wanted to do nothing but sleep. "I ended up doing my last read over my final paper. "and submitted it before sleeping. "However, instead of submitting my final paper, "I somehow submitted one of the commissions. "I was working on. "This commission is not light either. "It is almost 10 pages long. "and contains a variety of things, including vore and scat. "So I went to bed. "Submissions for the final locked, "and my academic career was sentenced to death. "then and there. "When I woke up this morning, "I checked my grades for my other classes.

"before noticing an email from my professor. "All it said was come to his office after class today. "I want to (beep) die right now. "I don't know how I'm going to explain. "why instead of my final I submitted a hardcore erotic story. "with a wolfman jacking off in a dragon's stomach. "But yeah, I (beep) up big time.". - Oh no. That is so... - Like a half wolf, half man jacking off? - It's something. It's a wolfman. - Hate to get lost in the weeds here, but... - He's gotta have thumbs.

- Yeah. No, it's a whole furry thing. - This is crazy. - [Trevor] Oh God. - Update? - First let's read some comments here. "How does one go into writing $2,500 worth of erotica. "on Patreon? "Asking for a friend.". Someone else said, "Tell him the truth. "All of what you explained. "Be sure to bring the real document you meant to submit. "and ask him as an adult, not as a simpering kid, "if he would accept that you (beep) up. "and take your actual submission for the class. "It can't hurt, and in fact may be refreshing for him.

"to see a student take responsibility. "for their own mistake.". OP said, "Yeah, thanks for the advice, man. "I won't lie, I'm a mess, "so this is actually really nice to hear some good advice.". Yeah, I mean, the reality is he has the full actual final, and he could just, I'd be full on real. I'd be like, "Dude, I'm making the bucks on this.". - I'd be like, "Welcome to the hustle.". (everyone laughs). - What if the teacher's, like, "I asked for that on Patreon. "Why'd you send it through this?". - Wild.

- What if the teacher's a furry? - What if the teacher's just like a 75-year-old man. and he just (beep) dies reading it? It's so shocking, he has a heart attack. - Yeah. - Something crazy happened to my roommate a long time ago. She ordered a bunch of sex toys, and we lived above an older man. - Okay. - And she ordered a bunch of stuff, and he got the package.

- That's awesome. - And opened it. And he was very old. And she rocked his world. Like, he sent us an email, and he was like, "Dear tenants, I am so sorry I invaded your privacy.". - Aw. - And he felt so bad, and he was like, "I don't know what this stuff is. "It is not my business or my responsibility.". And we printed out the email. It was really funny. - That's so sad.

- But I feel like this old, I don't know why I assume all professors are old. That's a bad stereotype. But I feel like this person's probably... This is wild. - I think it's fair to assume. that a professor would be older. I feel like a lot of 'em are, but let's see. 'cause there is an update. - Let's go. - Yeah. "Well, I just left his office, and I still want to die. "Not as much though. "I took some advice from here. "and printed my paper out and had it with me.". - Nice. - "I won't lie, when I sat down with him, "I was already almost in tears.

"from the stress and embarrassment. "I guess he picked up on that. "because he tried to be as nice as possible. "and told me to calm down and just explain what happened. "I ran down pretty much everything I said here. "While he didn't agree with the avenue I was taking. "to make money, he understood why I was doing it. "He had checked the submissions last night. "after the deadline, "and my submission's name stuck out immediately. "It was along the lines. "of customer commission, second draft doc. "I've taken a class from him before and was an A student, "so he guessed I had submitted the wrong file by accident.

"He told me he read the first page. "and realized it probably wasn't meant for him to read. "I gave him the copy I brought, and he accepted it. "He told me to email him with the file, "and he would replace the one I had submitted. "and that he would pretend this never happened. "He seemed to at least have a good sense of humor. "as he told me what I had originally submitted. "was well written at least from what he had read. "Like I said, I still want to (beep) die right now. "At least he understood that I'm just an idiot. "and not malicious. "Thanks I guess for the advice. "and helping me through the nervous breakdown.".

- Okay, it worked out. - Yeah, I mean it's fine. Yeah. - Imagine he's like, "I read the whole thing front to back. "Great work.". - He's like, "That was awesome.". - What if he was just like, "I have notes.". (everyone laughs). - Don't give me your actual paper. - The teacher's sweating, he's like, "So you have a Patreon? "You write these all the time? "Could I-". - He goes, "Where would I find, "where would anyone find the Patreon?". - That's crazy. How much do you charge for more of these? - He's like, "Let's talk about like the literary breakdown of act two.". - So the dragon, does the dragon...

What happens in the next part of the story? - Who is the dragon? - Who's the dragon? What is the dragon's, you know, purpose here? (everyone laughs). That's awesome. - Oh, that worked out. It's nice to read something that works out. - Yeah. - Yeah, and I guess like the teacher said like, "Oh, I don't fully agree with it, but whatever. "Like, you're doing your thing.". I feel like with how expensive school is, if I was a teacher, I'd be like, "I get it.". - Like, you're making money off of it. That's awesome. - You're creating art. - You're writing for money. - Hell yeah, dude. - Hell yeah.

- Rock on. Here we go. Next one. "Today I (beep) up when I saw my ex.". Yeah. - Classic case. - Classic. "This is more of a personal embarrassment. "I ran into an ex today, and I don't mean recent, "I mean like decades ago. "Haven't seen this person since our breakup. "back when we were really young. "At the time, it was my first love, "and I didn't handle the breakup well. "I didn't do anything super crazy like boil bunnies.". What the (beep)? - Can we get a Google on that? - [Bailey] It's a reference to, I think it's "Fatal Attraction.".

- Oh, is it from "Fatal Attraction"? Okay, okay, okay. "Just called and left tearful messages. "on the answering machine. "Obviously I've moved on, been married, had kids, "but there's a place that your first love will always hold. "Apparently I was not their special first love. "First of all, I was at a place. "where I'd gone with that ex at the time. "It's a popular place that I've been to before and since, "but for some reason I remembered today. "the time we carved our initials in a tree. "I didn't even look at the tree. "Just remembered it for a second. "You know, it must have been that phenomenon. "where you randomly think of someone before you see them,

"'cause a few minutes later there they were. "Being the idiot I am, "I thought it would be a friendly run in like, "'Hey, long time no see.'. "First, they didn't know who I was until I said my name. "Then for some stupid reason, "I said, 'I was just thinking about you.'. "Crickets. Disbelief. "Me backpedaling and saying. "that we went to this place together a lot, "and they did not remember at all. "Oh my god. "I always thought if I ever saw this person again. "that I would be cool. "Not stick my foot in my mouth. "Not sound like a crazy stalker.

"Now of course I keep playing it on repeat in my mind. "and cringing every time.". - Oh, that sucks. - That is so tough. That's rough. - And it's relatable kind of. It's like it happens to the best of us. - Yeah. - I once went up to an ex and I said, "Nice to meet you.". What? (everyone laughs). - Oh my god. - It's like, "Nice to see you. "It's been a while.". - Nice to meet you 'cause we're new people. We've grown into different-. - Clean slate. Clean slate. - Clean slate, And then they cry laughing and die.

Oh man. I have luckily never had anything like this ever happen. I don't really have a ton of exes. I remember once, the first time I ever ran into an ex, I didn't run into them, but I saw them at a place. Like, I was still a teenager, but I saw like an ex from like a couple years prior. And I remember just like, I was at Taco Bell, and then I saw them, and I remember just like being like, "Oh my god, I gotta get outta here.". Like, 'cause I was like, it wasn't even probably gonna be awkward.

I was just like, "I just don't know what to do.". - Yeah, also, when you're little, when you're younger, you're like, "Media's shown me that exes are scary.". - Exes are bad. I have to leave. - [Angela] Yeah. - Oh man. - I'm so bad about just like seeing anyone. that like I used to know. Like, I don't know. I don't really have like many exes, but whenever I go home to Idaho, like it's often that I run into people. that like I knew in high school. or that I recognize but I didn't really know. And I'm just like, I just gotta put my head down. Like, I don't wanna have an awkward interaction where like,

'cause I'm not good with names, and sometimes I'm like, "I don't remember your name, "but you remember my name and I don't know what to do.". So I feel like in that situation if it ever happened, yeah, I'm just like, "Head down, I gotta get outta here.". - Yeah, have you ever waved at someone that you know. but they don't know you? - I've told this story here, but I once was at a like event, and I saw a guy who I'd seen in like an indie film. - Did you think you knew him?

- I thought I knew him. - I love when people go up to celebrities and they go... - Well, because he's not like, he wasn't like celebrity. It was like-. - You're like, "Did we take a class?". And so like I was just like, oh, I thought I knew him from something, and I didn't. And so I literally like, and it's the middle of a crowd and stuff, but I'm walking back, and I see him. I just, "Oh, dude, it's good to see you.". And I think he was like, "Good to see you.". Like, whatever. Like, we both just, and then I walked away, I was like, "Oh, I don't know him.". (everyone laughs). I was like, "(beep).".

- That's awesome. - I love stories like that. when someone goes up to someone super famous. And they're like, "Do we know each other?". But honestly, it was at Target two nights ago, I saw my friend's husband, who I don't think I've ever like really officially met. or hung out with, seen him in passing, but I see him on her Instagram story all the time. So I saw him, I went, "Oh!". (everyone laughs). I'm walking in Target. And he went... And I went...

And then I tried to like push it away. I was like, "Ah, no, no.". 'Cause I was like, "He doesn't know me. "Nevermind.". - This reminds me of a funny Target story. It's like unrelated. But I was at a Target like by myself, and like I was pretty disheveled. It was like a Sunday, like 11:00 AM. I don't even remember what I was getting. But like there's like these three like teenage girls. or something, and like I'd like walked by, whatever. Like, we ended up in the same aisle. Anyway, I'm in another aisle, and one of 'em comes up. She's like, "Can my friend have a picture with you?".

And I was like, "Oh yeah, totally.". And so she like walks me down like five other aisles. to just her two friends standing there, and they get a picture, whatever. It's nice. They're very sweet. And I don't know what to say. So I'm just standing there like awkwardly looking at 'em, and I just go, "Well, have fun at Target.". (everyone laughs). Walk away. I had no clue. I was like, I don't know how to exit this situation. Go have fun at Target. - It's very unfortunate that I'm such an awkward person.

to strangers. And then we do this job, and I get recognized for this job, and I'm (beep) awkward as hell. - Yeah. - It's awful. - Knowing you-. - And I know that when people recognize us, they probably are like, "Oh gosh, I feel awkward.". And I'm over here like, "I feel (beep) weird.". - Yeah. Have fun at Target. - Hey, enjoy the sights. (everyone laughs). - Some comments. "These types of foot in mouth moments. "keep us tortured forever. "You'll find yourself making audible sounds.

"to drown the mental embarrassment.". Someone else said, "Now you know what conversation. "will keep you awake at night, but worry not, "you'll come up with the most ingenious replies. "in your head and win.". OP said, "Oh, my imaginary conversation was riveting. "I was at ease and funny. "and left them thinking I was the coolest person. "they ever knew.". See, yeah, I, oh man. Yeah, if I see someone from my past. who like I haven't talked to in a long time, a part of me, I think I always assume they're not gonna remember me. - Yeah. - But it's also like, it depends on where you are,

'cause yeah, Target or especially like a grocery store, I just wish you could just be like, "Hey, yeah, we remember.". - It's crazy how nerves like stop us from like breathing, and I don't know, something from your brain. just shuts down a little bit. And you're like, wait, I'm like fully a capable person. I'm like, I'm an adult. I can do things. Like, why am I acting like a child? Being like, "Sorry. "Nice to meet you.". Like... Like, it's so weird. - I think it's just 'cause it catches me off guard.

I wasn't mentally prepared. I'm like Batman. I need prep time. (Trevor laughs). I need prep time for a social interaction. - I'm prepping for my 22nd interaction. with like the grocery store like checkout line. Like, I'm prepped for that. I'm like on one. - I don't get nervous, like throw us up on stage to do improv. in front of 100 people, I'm like, "Yeah, okay, let's do it.". But if I have to go to the bank and talk to the teller, I'm like, "They're gonna think I'm robbing this place.". I'm so convinced I'm gonna make the wrong move,

And they're gonna-. - You're walking up with your hand like this in your jacket, "I'd like to make a withdrawal.". - I'd like to make a withdrawal. (everyone laughs). - I'm just nervous. - Sorry, I'm just nervous, so I'm holding my gun. - Got side stitch. - That is so true though. I can do anything here with anyone watching me. and I won't be nervous. But if I go into like a girly clothing store and she's like, "Hey girly, what size do you want that in?". I'm like, "(stammers) I don't know.". - Yeah. - Oh my god, yeah, you put me in an Urban Outfitters, it's over. - [Angela] Literally. - I'm just sitting there like, "I'd like to try this on.".

- They go, "How many for the dressing room?". And I'm like, "I can't count. "Four.". - This is the last thing I'll say. Are you guys like me where you'll be at a store, you desperately need help, and someone comes up, and they're like, "Do you need any help?". And I go, "No, I'm good.". (everyone laughs). I desperately need help. I am looking for something and I cannot find it. I'm about to leave and my whole day is wasted. 'cause I was looking for this thing and I couldn't find it. And someone offers to find it for me,

and I go, "Ah, no, I'm good.". - You've made eye contact. with a person like three times awkwardly looking around. They finally come up and you're like, "Ah, I got it.". - I (beep) got it. And then you end up doing a whole circle. ending up back there, being like, "Gonna find it this time.". - Have you guys ever been asked like, "Excuse me,". and you're like, "I don't work here.". That's happened to me a couple times. - Really? - I've worn red at a Target. You can't do it. (Trevor laughs). Because then people come up to you and ask you (laughs). - That's so (beep) funny. We should do, oh, we should do a video.

where we all go to Target wearing red. and we see who gets asked for help the most. Who gets asked-. - And just try to keep it going. - Dude, it would 100% be you. - Me? Am I the most most Target employee looking? - Yeah, I'd be like, where are the Blu-rays? - (beep). - Where are the Blu-rays? - I do look like I work in the electronics section. I'm like, "Yeah, I can ring you up here.". (everyone laughs). - Yo, buddy, do I need a dongle for this or what? - All right, next story. "Today I (beep) up by jumping into a lake. "in my bra/panties to save a man.

"that turned out to be an elite military scuba diver. "in training.". (everyone laughs). That's awesome. - Sounds like the beginning of a '90s movie. - I was gonna say it's like the beginning of a romcom, yeah. - "I'm couch surfing with my sister and her boyfriend. "I work for him at the lakeside bar. "trying to pay for college. "My state is open, "and while I'm not thrilled, I need both the job. "and my scored sofa accommodations to make it work.". This is from 2020, so... "To give them their space. "and myself a break from doom scrolling,

"I take a run by the lake in the mornings. "This lake is bomb-ass. "and draws scuba divers to the flooded town at the bottom. "Today I was in my own head running. "when a dark mass floated to the surface 40 feet away. "I was on the craggy side of the lake, "and this dude looked dead, D-E-A-D dead. "Facing away from me, his head was tipped back, eyes closed, "bobbing like a fishing lure. "No one else was around. "So I thought he was quantum crazy out here. "scuba diving alone at the crack ass of dawn,

"giving himself the bends or some nonsense. "Like a jackass I didn't yell at him to check in. "Instead, I toed off my shoes. "and stripped to my skivvies to save the imbecile. "The movie trailer in my head. "had me taking three glorious steps. "and launching into the deep blue water Black Widow style. "Instead, my tender feet hit the sharp rocks. "and I contorted under the pan like a slinky. "as I uncoordinatedly pitched myself into the water, "doing a side flop. "I was also wearing my contacts, "so I swam hard in his direction with my eyes closed.

"When I opened them, he was dead-ass staring at me. "like I had lost my ever loving mind. "So I blurted, 'Are you okay?'. "He removed the regulator and incredulously said, 'Yes.'. "My brain blue screened while I tread water. "The lake felt infinitely deep. "Before I could terrify myself. "by hearing the 'Jaws' theme song, "I turned to nope the hell out of there, "yelling over my shoulder, 'I thought you needed saving!'". (everyone laughs). "To explain my idiocy. "As I pivoted, another dude cleared his throat. "from 30 feet away on the other side.

"I never heard a sound from him, so I freaked out, "failing and belting an ear wounding scream at him. "Both asshats laughed. "as a few more heads surfaced around us. "I was surrounded by divers all wildly entertained. "by my ridiculous high octane (beep) up. "After pointing to me and the beach, "the merman that was my original target. "cautiously swam toward me after I nodded. "and escorted me to the shore. "The beach was much further than I had anticipated, "so I was trying to low-key breathe,

"hiding my need to suck all of the O2 from the air. "Also, the comedy of the situation consumed me, "and I started to giggle. "Finally, I joked, "'Dude, you are lucky you weren't actually dying. "'because it would've taken everything I have. "'to drag your sorry ass this far.'. "He chuckled before offering me a tow. "Hell no. Not gonna happen. "Even if I had to dog paddle. "I wouldn't openly accept that defeat. "He quietly mocked me the rest of the way to the shore. "I'm a secret sap for it. "They were cadets or recent graduates.

"from military college here for the summer. "They've been training in pools. "and were doing some open water exercises. "They had been out there at least part of the night. "I'm sure I blew up whatever drill they were running. "He's training for pre-dive school. "And since I am an expert Googler, "I'm guessing that means combat diving. "At the shore, I did my best to throw my shoulders back. "and march outta the water in my sports bra and undies. "in front of what I can only imagine. "are some pretty badass men. "I did invite him and his clandestine crew. "for an absurdly overpriced beer at the bar tonight.

"before shame jogging back into the woods for my clothes.". Wow. So try to save a person, they ended up surrounded by a bunch of military men. What I love about this person. is they really used the thesaurus for this post. They went back and-. - They said, "Good writing is describing.". - Yeah, they're like, "Let me use really cute stuff. "for every single sentence.". - Can I say something that might be an unpopular opinion? - Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. All right. - That's on them. The guys.

Is there any way to be like, "This is a test.". She was just being a good Samaritan. She saw someone floating like a dead body, and she was like, "See something, say something.". - Well, she didn't say something. She just immediately-. - She swam something. - She just swam something. - No, I respect it though. - I'm like, don't they have like a light. or like, "This is a drill.". - That's fair. Yeah. - Like, what a scary thing. - That's true. - Is there an update?

Did they go to the bar? Did she, did she... - There is an update. - Oh, let's go. - Update he's my husband. I need Reddit sweaters that say "update.". - First there's a comment. "Such a fun meet cute story. "I hope they get to be happy together. "Sell the movie rights and make a ton of money.". Someone else said, "This is hilarious. "I can just picture you swimming. "with your eyes closed towards them. "Ha ha. Don't be too embarrassed. "It probably made their morning.". What do we think is gonna happen? Do we think that this is gonna actually end up. in them dating or is it just like an embarrassing story? - I think they went to the bar. and it was chill and whatever. - Yeah. - Probably.

"He showed, holy shit, a little bit ago. "Yes, I was as dorky as you would've imagined. "And now I'm typing this from the bathroom. "like a dumbass again. "But I feel like you people are on the ride with me. "He's handsome and funny and he smells great. "Yes, I hugged him. "I'm southern. It's what we do. "Not the smelling, the hugging. "He's nice and smart and keeps defending me. "from my jackass friends at the bar. "who have almost called him merman to his face. "I think he low-key liked that everyone knew who he was, "but not sure how he'll feel about being a Reddit celebrity.

"I've learned a lot about him, "but it wouldn't be fair to share without his permission. "His whole crew did not come. "Only one and his bud immediately started flirting. "with my coworker. "That's a good sign, I think. "Holy shit. You'd think I'd never met up with a guy before. "Also, my friend straight up asked him. "if he saw my dragonfly undies that look like penises. "with massive glow in the dark turquoise blue balls, "only she used the Reddit version. "Thanks for that nickname, Reddit. "He's also been sharing some of the shit. "that he's been taking today from being saved.

"He has the same self-deprecating sense of humor as me. "I think we are vibing. "So that's all the updates for tonight. "He's getting the rest of my attention. "Keep sending me those good vibes, and peace, people.". No more updates. - No more? - No more updates, so I'm guessing she fumbled the bag after that. (laughs). - Maybe they shared a lovely beautiful night together, and then he went off to go swim more somewhere else. - Wild! - That's crazy. - She's crazy fun. - She is crazy. She is fun.

- She is so funny. She was in the bathroom updating us. So she didn't give us a third update? - She wrote that whole update from the bathroom. Like, that's crazy. - That's sick. That's great. - How would you feel though if you met up with, like a similar type of story, just a silly meetup, and then you're at the bar talking to them, and you find out that they like, "Oh, in the bathroom, "I was just updating the Reddit post about meeting you.". - Dude, I don't... - I wouldn't like that. (everyone laughs). I wouldn't like that.

- Yeah, I don't know how I'd feel. - Yeah. - It depends though. It's a pretty crazy story, so I'd be like, "I get it. "I get it. "That's ripe Reddit material.". - Yeah, she comes back and she's like, "So what kind of diving are you in? "I have to tell all these people who are asking. "I mean, um...". - I have to tell these thousands of people, - Whoa! That is wild. She's so cool to be like, "Come have drinks with me. "Also, I wasn't trying to save your life. "You looked dead.". And then just like, "Did you see my underwear?". Also what were... Dragonflies that looked like a penis? - I don't know. A lot of stuff there.

- Dude... - New merch just dropped. (Trevor laughs). If you guys saw somebody floating in the water... - I would definitely be like, they're floating. They're floating and their face is above water, I would yell something first. - I would like try to get someone better than me. I'd be like, "Look, guys!". - No, you're by yourself. You're by yourself. She was jogging by yourself. - If I was by myself, I'd go in. - But I would yell first, and if they didn't respond, then... - Dude, I don't know, maybe I'm a bad, I feel like I'd wait for a second. I'd watch, and I'd see if they like took him a little bit to move,

and then I'd go. Be like, I don't know. - I'm just confused. Didn't she say, maybe I'm misremembering. I thought she said like he was floating, like his face was above water. - Yeah. - And then it's like, okay, so he is breathing. Like, his face is above water. - Oh, if his face was above water... - He's also floating. - But he's just like... - Didn't she say he had a mask on? So like... - That's why I'm saying it's on him. He should have like a little flag that's like, "Don't worry, I'm alive.". - Yeah. Don't worry, I'm alive. (everyone laughs). That would suck if you actually died. and you had that flag on you.

(everyone laughs). Oh God, he looks super dead. Don't worry, he has the flag. - You have an asthma attack. - You got the flag. - Okay, next story. This is an Am I The Asshole post. - Yay. We're home. - Yay. - "Am I the asshole for putting my penis in peanut butter. "and leaving it in the kitchen?". Okay. - Never. You're never the asshole for that. Live your truth. - [Angela] Trevor. (everyone laughs). - "I'm looking for some assistance. "determining whether I'm the asshole in this situation.

"that has divided our house into two groups.". - Oh no. - "I, a 20-year-old male, am a college student. "living with four other guys my age.". - I could have bet $1,000 it was that. - Yeah. I'm a 45-year-old man. - No. I'm a 20-year-old college student. - "It's our second year living together, "and last year we had an issue. "with people eating food that isn't theirs. "So now we have a strict label your stuff. "and only eat things with your name on it policy. "My girlfriend and I like to get a bit frisky. "in the bedroom,

"and a few nights ago I dipped my penis in peanut butter. "and she licked it off. "Yes, I understand that it is slightly bizarre, "but that's how we roll.". - Didn't need it. - I (beep) called that, dude. - Oh, I thought he, I'm sorry, I completely misunderstood this. I thought he just stuck it in there to be like, "Label your food!". - Yeah, I thought that's where it was going too. "The controversy is that since we have a mouse problem, "I did not want to leave the peanut butter in my bedroom. "So afterwards, I closed it, "and returned it to my kitchen cupboard. "Note that it had a huge peanut butter dilemma label on it,

"so it was clear that it belonged to me. "One of my roommates told me yesterday, "'Oh by the way I had some of your peanut butter.'. "He sees my visibly shocked reaction and asks, 'What's up?'. "So ultimately I come clean about the whole deal. "He's furious and says, "'Why the (beep) would you put it back in the kitchen?'. "I remind him of the mouse situation. "and our policy not to have other people's labeled foods. "This is the first time all year. "that somebody has had my labeled food.

"and informed me after the fact. "He said it was just some peanut butter on his bread. "It's not like he was taking full chicken breasts from me. "My house is split three to two on who is in the wrong, "and it's spilling over into other aspects. "of our living situation. "We need to get over this pronto, "so I'm asking, am I the asshole?". - No, he's not. - You don't think he's the asshole? - I gotta side with him on this. If you have a very clear, like you gotta ask first. If you have a no like having other people's food policy, like I get it's just some peanut butter. Be like, "Hey, can I like borrow you peanut butter?

"Is that cool?". To which he would say, "No, I (beep) it. "Don't have any.". (Shayne laughs). - I am.... Okay. Yes, I think you're an asshole. for taking someone else's food, like in that situation. But when you've done something that extreme with it, it's like... And also they're talking about rats. I'm like, you seal the jar. It's not gonna attract rats if it's sealed. I don't know. - I can't get over him like defending it.

He's like, "But we have a rat problem.". - I'm like, "Okay, you (beep) it.". - Dude. - But also it's his property. - It is his property. And look, I've had roommates. I never touch people's food. I do think condiments get into a weird territory. for some households, and if they have an agreement. that they've already established. But a problem is a bunch of 20-year-old dudes, but I think I know this in hindsight, but it's just like they're gonna (beep), someone's gonna take that food. - I cannot imagine the moment he told him and then he goes, "Wait, my peanut butter?

"I put my wiener in there.". I don't know if I would tell him. - No, I think it's-. - That's so embarrassing. - If I (beep) a jar of peanut butter. and then someone ate it, a friend of mine-. - Would you be like-. - And he told me he ate it, I don't think I could keep a straight face, but I don't think I'd be shocked. I think I'd be just like (laughs). I think I'd be almost laughing. - I don't know if I would be able to own it.

Like, I stuck my body in that. - That's rough. I just... To put it back in a common space after (beep) it. - But it was labeled, my thing is-. - It was labeled. But I think he could have labeled it like, "peanut butter I (beep).". (everyone laughs). "My penis has been in this butter.". - Do not touch. This is a sex thing. Not a food. - Penis butter. Penis butter. And then put it back in. Like, just to really establish like, "Guys, please don't.". But also don't touch other people's food is like a fair-.

- 'Cause you don't know what they're doing with it. - Well, that is... - 'Cause honestly anyone, whatever you wanna do in there is fine. - [Trevor] Yeah. - [Shayne] Yeah. - It's your business. That's great. - That's your, you bought it, you (beep) it. - As long as they... (everyone laughs). - Look, I maintain that like if you buy food. from the grocery store with your own money, you're allowed to (beep) it. - Yeah. - And that's the motto of today's episode. If you buy it, you can (beep) it. - Hey, don't touch my bag of walnuts, bro. You don't wanna know what's going on in there. - I had two friends in middle school,

and I was hanging out with them, and one girl, we were at her house, and she had this like big thing of like Sour Patch Kids. And my friend and I who were visiting, she was eating the Sour Patch Kids. And then the girl whose house it was, she walked in, she went, "Don't eat those!". And we found out that my friend likes Sour Patch. but doesn't like to eat them, so she sucks on them, then puts them back in the thing and sucks the sour off. And my friend was just going to town. - She didn't think it was weird. that the Sour Patch Kids didn't have the sour stuff on?

- How do you not know? - That's a weird gummy. - It's one of those situations 'cause yes, firmly established don't touch other people's food. that they've bought that's for themselves. But I also can judge people for doing shit like that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I think you're weird. I hate when when people like eat a little bit of something. and then put it back in a bag. I'm like, ah, gross. Like, I hate that. My body cringes at that. - [Angela] Yeah. - Do you think after this, the guy was like, "Yeah, I had some of your peanut butter.".

And he was like, "Ooh.". And he is like, "And then I ate some of your cucumbers.". And he was like, "Aw!". (everyone laughs). No! Oh! - I dipped some of your cucumber in your peanut butter. Is that cool, bro? - And then I had your coconut. No! - Dude, there was this weird watermelon with a hole in it. I had a slice. Is that all good? - No! - They gotta get their rat problem under control. - Dude, I saw this dildo in the bathroom, and then I used it, bro. Is that cool? - And then I had to fix our sink using your flashlight.

No! It didn't work though. (everyone laughs). - Also, I (beep) your girlfriend. (everyone laughs). - And then I (beep) your peanut butter. (everyone laughs). - I (beep) your peanut butter.

You (beep) my (beep) peanut butter? (everyone laughs). He finds out all of his roommates. has (beep) the peanut butter. They're like, "What?". - Wait, raise your hand if you (beep) the peanut butter. (everyone laughs). I have to move out. - Raise your other hand if you (beep) my girlfriend. - Also, I (beep) your girlfriend. - [Shayne] Also, I (beep) your girlfriend. (everyone laughs).

Oh my god. The verdict was everyone sucks here, which I think is very fair. - Oh man. - Everyone's argument holds up though. Like, it makes sense, it's his thing. It makes sense, the rat problem. Everything makes sense. - I think the peanut butter (beep) is a weirdo. I don't think he's an asshole. (Shayne laughs). - The comments. "Everyone sucks here. "I mean, you're right. "It was labeled as yours, and he shouldn't have eaten it. "But sex toys, which is what this peanut butter became. "after you put your (beep) in it,

"shouldn't be kept in the kitchen around other food. "It's just unsanitary honestly.". - Dude, that's a good point. - That's where I think I'm feeling it. Like, that's no longer food. - And if you're worried about rats coming into your bedroom, like just throw the bottle away. - Someone else said, "You're the asshole. "Only 'cause Jesus Christ, man, "use a (beep) spoon in the clean peanut butter. "and put that on your (beep). "Why did you put it back instead of throw it out? "Were you planning to eat it later? "Stick your (beep) in it again? "It may have started out as food,

"but it became no longer food for the communal kitchen. "when you stuck your (beep) in it, dude.". I think that's how I feel. If I, hypothetically in this situation, I (beep) a jar of peanut butter, I'd feel really bad bringing it back. and putting it in like a public space. It's like, yeah, that to me does feel like an invasion. I think that's kind of the whole thing of like, when we talk about like any sort of like sexual acts. or bringing your fetishes or anything. and it being around people, it's like, you do need your consent. - Just respect. - Yeah, it's a respect thing. It just feels disrespectful.

- It's like putting your dildo. in your like forks and knives drawer. - Yeah. - Ah! - I'm having trouble with this salad. (everyone laughs). - Dad! Dad! - This is a weird meat tenderizer. - I was gonna say. I don't have to hammer it. I just hold it over it and it does it. Oh, what a story. Holy shit. - Yeah. - [Shayne] Okay. - That's awesome. - Next one. "Today I (beep) up by smelling my feet. "and ending up in the ER.".

- Been there. (laughs). - "This Today I (beep) Up actually happened today, "or at least in the last 24 hours. "Either way, I'm counting it. "I'll be the first to admit. "that my feet are sometimes a little bit smelly. "Some of my friends and family. "have lovingly said they are odorly challenged. "I wash them in the shower every day. "I've tried the fancy creams, "but none of it seems to really help. "And I've at this point accepted. "that I'm just naturally a stinkfoot. "and will live my life with a constant faint corn chip aroma. "wafting from my toes.".

- Oh. - "I live alone. "And when in my apartment, "I prefer not to wear socks or shoes. "This is occasionally a point of contention. "with my girlfriend who visits often. "and insists that I at least wear socks when she comes over. "It's mostly fun banter when she teases me. "for my feet smelling, "and I tease her for a loud burp or something like that. "But sometimes after a particularly long day, "the foot factory releases emissions. "that would surely get me fined by EPA, "which she rightfully hates. "Yesterday she came over for dinner. "It was a nice day, so we decided to get delivery. "from one of our favorite restaurants.

"and eat on the balcony. "Well, I'm at home, and I've already liberated my tootsies. "from their foot prisons.". - Jesus Christ. - "And I figured it'd be nice to set the table. "with some flowers for my lady. "I was outside setting up when she arrived, "and she came outside to greet me. "Immediately she smelled my feet and recoiled in disgust. "The most dramatic reaction ever. "Fake vomiting. Fake crying. "She was hamming it up as part of our banter. "I have gone a bit nose blind to them over the years. "So I lean against the railing to balance.

"and go to smell them myself to see how bad they were. "This was my mistake. "I'm a burly guy, and this poor railing. "could not handle my equally overdramatic reaction. "of throwing my head back and screaming. "It gave way. "Luckily, I'm only on the second floor, "so I only fell maybe 25 feet. "But it felt like it lasted a solid minute. "It was at least long enough of a fall. "for me to reflect on the situation. "and feel like an idiot for dying from smelling my own feet. "The aftermath is a fractured rib and dislocated shoulder.

"And my girlfriend never letting me live this down.". - Oh my god. - So he went to smell his feet, fell off the balcony 25 feet. 25 smelly feet. (crew laughs). - That was awesome. - Thanks, dude. - Nice one. - That's (beep)... - No. Sobbing. Honestly, everything was fine. until he said he had to relieve his tootsies. - I know. Once again, I think with several of these stories, I'm like, the event wasn't embarrassing.

It's a sentence that you put in this. (everyone laughs). That's what I'm embarrassed-. - The way you're describing it. - I don't like feet stuff. That's the thing about me. So I'm coming in at this. I just don't like, it just gets me. - I can't bring myself to believe. that there isn't a solution. There's gotta be at least a temporary one. - Yeah, see a doctor, right? There must be like a-. - It's fascinating. I don't know. - 'Cause even, isn't there like a condition. where people like have bad breath? Like, that makes sense to me. 'cause it's like in like, you know what I mean? But like your skin just down there?

It feels like it's a shoe issue. - It could be a shoe issue. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like especially if, you know, you know your lady's coming over. for a nice night on the balcony. with your favorite restaurant, like, I'm getting some scented lotion or something, and I'm lubing those bad, I'm giving 'em a wash and lubing 'em up. I don't know. Do anything you can so that you don't fall off a balcony. - I can't believe he fell off a balcony. and she laughed at him. - I would. - Ha ha ha! - He's like, "My shoulder's broken, my ribs are broken, "my girlfriend won't let me live it down.".

- Look, look, as soon as I hear that first groan. of just like, "oh," I'm laughing. (everyone laughs). As soon as-. - You know they're alive. - I'm looking down in horror. And then as soon as I hear the "ah" I'm cracking up. - Jesus. Some comments. "Did you manage to put your socks. "and shoes back on after your fall? "Or should we feel bad for the ER folks. "who had to smell your feet?". OP said, "I guess I should send them. "an apology fruit basket, huh?". Someone else said, "Forget about your feet. "The railing of your apartment gave way. "and nearly killed you.

"Was it rusty, uncared for? "That kind of neglect is just a lawsuit waiting to happen.". OP said, "Haven't even thought about that. "It didn't look rusty or anything, "but I did put a good amount of weight onto it.". There's an update. "After getting a lot of private messages, "mostly foot odor remedy related, "I was able to connect with a personal injury lawyer. "who gave me some good advice. "about possibly suing my landlord. "So far I have only informally contacted my landlord. "to ask them kindly to pay for my medical bills. "The lawyer I spoke to thinks I can get much more than that.

"if I sue. "But really, I don't see the need. "as long as my pockets are made right. "If they refuse, I will go ahead with the suit. "I've gotten a phone call from the property manager. "who said she would look into it, "but needed approval from higher ups first. "It's not a no, so I'm optimistic.". Yeah. That's crazy. - I feel bad. I don't wanna roast this guy's stinky feet. Like, I get it. - I mean, we all have like-. - He's admitting he has stinky feet. He's embraced it. - Yeah. What was crazy about the story was he said his fall.

was long enough for him to think. about it being his stinky feet. Like, "Ah! I gotta fix this.". - I really need to clean my feet. (everyone laughs). Damn. - The balcony below him, they're like, "What's that smell?". - Yeah, for a split second 'cause he goes, and just like, "Ah.". (everyone laughs). - That sucks. - That's crazy. This is our last story. "Today I (beep) up by ignoring a lump on my balls. "for 23 years and ejacutooting into my wife's eye,

"almost ruining her LASIK surgery.". So he... E-J-A-C-U-T-O-O-T-I-N-G. - Ejacutooting? - Yeah. - Why are we saying that word? - I gotta roast some of these posts today. for just their word choices and the way they're saying. - Yeah. - [Shayne] Just say it, man. - Be funnier. - Or just say it. - Or just like tell me the truth. - Just write it. You don't have to do that. When you do that-. - No, that's corny.

You can just write it, or you could be funnier, man, - Just don't put a hat on the word. Just say the word. - Sometimes when I'm reading Reddit posts, I envision just a normal person, and then there's specific sentences or specific words. where I imagine them putting on a fedora just for that. and then taking it off and continuing. Literally being like, "Today I (beep) up. "by ignoring a lump on my balls for 23 years. "and ejacutooting into my wife's eyes. "almost ruining her LASIK surgery.". - Oh man.

- Wait. This is wild. - Let's get into this one. "Every once in a while, something happens so preposterous, "so outside the realm of possibility. "that you know no one will ever believe you. "That's happened to me three times. "Once I saw a squirrel disappear into thin air.". (Angela laughs). Jesus Christ. Okay. (everyone laughs). - Holy shit. Where'd he go? - Okay. All right, but let's hear the story about you ejacutooting. (everyone laughs). "Once I saw a disembodied hand cross a road. "in the dead of night.

"And once I...". Okay, (beep) this guy. - This guy... - No. - Has to stop smoking weed. - Buckle up, buckle up. - I saw a squirrel (laughs). - This guy's like, "I took acid twice.". - Okay. "And once I saw a disembodied hand cross a road. "in the dead of night. "And once I ejacufarted into my wife's eye.". - Bro, can I go yet? - I'm sorry. - Can we call it here? Wrap it up. - I would have zero problem.

with this guy if he just said ejaculated, but he refuses to say that word. - Ejacufarted? - Ejacufarted is so much worse. - It's so embarrassing we're even saying that on camera. - "Let's travel back 23 years ago. "I was 14.". - We don't need to do this. (laughs). We don't need to go back. - Just tell us what was on your sack. - He's giving us the David Copperfield treatment. on this shit. "Let's travel back 23 years ago. "I was 14 and had just learned about doing self checks. "of my testicles for lumps. "And lo and behold, I found one.

"I was pretty worried, told my parents, "and eventually went to a urologist. "He examined the lump and told me it was a varicose vein. "The doctor didn't do much to verify this. "other than squeezing the lump a few times. "But he told me not to worry about it. "and said that at worst there was about a 3% chance. "I couldn't have kids. "So I went about my life not worrying about it. "About six months ago, my wife was going ham on ham.". - Dude. What the hell? - "About six months ago, my wife was going ham on ham,

"giving me an old fashioned, if you will.". (beep). I can't do this. - Just drive a truck through it, Shayne. Just drive a freaking truck through it. - "Giving me an old fashioned, if you will. "We've been together for," wow, "19 years. "So farting in front of each other. "during sex wasn't a big deal. "At best, it was funny. "And at worst, nothing to really react to. "So there I was enjoying myself, "but not anywhere near climaxing when I farted. "And when I say farted, I mean I ejacufarted,

"by which I mean the fart caused me to ejaculate hard. "with no orgasm. "My wife was caught off guard. "and my (beep) hit her in the eye. "She had had LASIK about three months beforehand, "and while she was well past the healing stage, "she was adamant about not rubbing her eyes anymore. "for the rest of her life. "Something about detached retinas. "Anyway, back to the ejacufarting. "So I figured this was a one-off incident, "but the next time I had to fart. "during a private personal session, "I forced the fart out and the same thing happened.

"And then again, when I tried again a bit later, "I assumed this wasn't normal. "So 23 years after that first visit, "I found myself back at the urologist. "And this time they looked more closely. "at what was going on down there, MRI and all. "And as it turns out, "that lump on my left ball wasn't a varicose vein, "but part of a complex of soft tissues. "which didn't belong there. "and which apparently linked my bulbocavernosus muscle. "and pubococcygeus muscle and probably other shit too.".

- Pubococcygeus. No way that's a real name. - What got me was bubo. Bulbio. - "It's not cancer. "More a one in a million medical oddity. "Why it would cause this ejacufarting phenomenon. "only now is a mystery, unless-". - There's (bee) in the little ball? - No, no, I don't think so. - Take that out. (everyone laughs). - "Unless I had literally never farted while having a boner. "before that moment in my entire life.

"Anyway, my wife's eye is okay and so am I, I guess. "I don't seem to be in any immediate danger anyway, "according to my doctors. "Oh, and I can have kids. "I just hope that none of them were conceived. "by an ejacufart. "Throwaway because my main account is pretty popular. "Also, I had to go with ejacutooting in the title. "because fart was prohibited.". Okay, so that explains a little bit more. about why he was using that word. - No, it doesn't help though. 'cause he thinks it's the funniest thing ever. - He really does. - He thinks ejacufarting is like the peak of comedy.

He's like, "I found it. I struck gold.". - I don't know where to begin. - He had to use the throwaway. 'cause his other account is pretty popular. - Pretty popular. - I'm pretty popular. - My other account is pretty popular. (Shayne laughs). - I'm a meme lord over on my other-. (everyone laughs). - I've got a lot of Reddit karma. (everyone laughs). - So it all started when I was 14. - Dude-. - Have you guys ever (beep) when you fart? - I like how they've established that they're like, "Yeah, we don't know how that's connected. "to the ejacufarting.".

What if it's not connected? What if that's just a weird thing he does? - What if he's just getting old? - What if he's just (beep) up? - I don't think I've ever like heard a story on this show. that I was just like, "No comment." (laughs). - There's this, it's like a Seth Rogen show, it's new, but he does this bit where he is like, "Yeah, every time I get like a girl, if I wasn't finishing, "she'd just punch me in the kidney. "and I'd immediately finish.". And that's just what I thought about. Just like hit him in the kidney, and it would make him, but like, it's insane. Like, why would you just immediately (beep) when you fart?

- Look, a part of me respects this couple, but a part of me is also just like so blown away. that it's like, "Yeah, we fart during sex.". Like, literally that he's talking about, he's like, "Yeah, I tried to force out this fart.". I'm like, oh, so it's not just like you're okay. with it accidentally happening. You guys like (beep) do it. - You like welcome it. - You're like, "It's part of it.". (everyone laughs). That's part of the act. - Jesus. - It's just the way he wrote about it. - I know. It's the way a lot of these people today. wrote their stories.

It was very specific. Some comments. "If we've made it down to the comments section, "we've already lost.". (everyone laughs). That's so funny. If you're here, you lost. - It's over. - You're lost. - We lost. I am of the same thought. I'm just like, okay. - It's very personal to that person. - I guess it's their thing. They're fine. They're happy. - Yeah, it's like it wasn't a problem you stuck your (beep). in the peanut butter. It's just like, if that's your thing, that's okay. Just like be respectful about the way you handle it.

- Yeah. - I accidentally farted on my roommate's face. while I was cumming. (everyone laughs). - Jesus Christ. - This is wild. - To our viewers, I'm sorry. - Yeah. - Yeah. This one got outta hand quick. It felt like pretty good. - It was like everything was normal. We were on the track and then... - And then it just (beep), it went everywhere. - Yeah, this is less about embarrassing story-. - Who was the most-. - [Angela] Embarrassing? - What was the most embarrassing story?

- The last two guys like owned it. - Yeah, if you own it, it kind of goes away. Like, I can't be too embarrassed for this guy. because he didn't really care too much. - He couldn't wait to talk about it. - Yeah, like it seems like to their credit, he and his wife, I don't know if they can be embarrassed by each other. - Yeah. - If they're full on just farting up a storm during sex, I don't know what there is. - Have you guys farted in front of a partner? - Oh yeah. - But is there a story or? - I don't like to fart in front of like-. - Anybody.

- Yeah. The only time my, I still have a dream. I still have a hope that I wanna, I really on "Try Not To Laugh," I wanna rip a huge fart. (everyone laughs). But it needs to be like, 'cause I one time forever ago, years ago, like 2018, like a very small, like not, like you had to have subtitles to know like, oh, Shayne farted. I want it to be like, holy shit. I want the room to shake a little bit. I'm hoping for that one of these days. - Dude, let's race. - I don't mean to be like all girly and what,

but I do have a theory that I must be farting in my sleep. because during the day I'm not farting. - Maybe it's your diet. Maybe you just eat the right stuff. - But like I've never thought of a time where I was like, "Oh yeah. Oops, I farted.". - Depends. - Oops, I farted. Oops, I (beep). - I'm trying to think. - Oops, I ejacufarted. (everyone laughs). Well... (Angela laughs). This has somehow been embarrassing for us more than-. - More than anything else. - Yeah. Thank you both for being here.

I'm sorry. - Not me at the end of this going you guys farted. in front of anyone? (Shayne laughs). - Awesome. - Oh, this sucks. (Angela laughs). Let us know how embarrassed you are. by watching this episode. - Yeah. - And let us know what other subreddits. and themes you'd like us to cover 'cause this one was a hit. And we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye. - And make sure to like the video. - Make sure to like the video. - Make sure.