Looking For Revenge | Reading Reddit Stories

- Welcome back to reading Reddit stories. that will absolutely blow your mind. I'm Shayne. I read the stories, and I'm joined today by Tommy and Amanda. - Yeah! - Yeah! - Who cannot be more excited. - Why do we (laughs). Ah! - Today's theme, we're back on revenge. - Yes. - Yes! - Which are frankly some of the best. There's a lot of revenge subreddits, and I think we're gonna cover a couple of them here. - So many good revenge stories out there.

- I love revenge. - I feel like the '90s was all revenge movies. - Yes. - Am I crazy? - No. "Kill Bill" is my favorite movie, and it's a revenge, it's two movies about revenge. - [Shayne] That's true. - So good. - I think I enjoy revenge stories. because I'm not someone who gets revenge. I'm not good at it. - [Tommy] Same. - I'm not good at it. I'm not that type of person. - You have to be really calculated. - You have to be smart in a way that I am not. - Actually, I got revenge one time. A kid was mean to me in school, and for some reason he invited me over to his place, and I hid his sneakers behind his bed.

And then he was like, "I couldn't find my sneakers.". And I was like, "Did you check behind your bed?". (Shayne laughs). - So, wow. You did revenge and then gave him the solution. - 'Cause then I was like, "It was me.". - I am the problem solver. - That's the slightest revenge. you could ever do. You inconvenienced him very slightly. - And that's just me. - I can't find my shoes. (everyone laughs). - All right, well let's see how crazy these get. - Okay. - Here's our first one. Already love this title. "My last glorious day as a Starbucks barista.".

- I'm obsessed. - I'm in. - You know it's gonna be good. So this comes from Petty Revenge, which is like-. - Yeah, makes sense. - Which sometimes are the best ones, even though it's like the smallest level of revenge. - Yeah. - A Starbucks barista once told me "have a bad day". when she handed me the drink. I hope this is that story. - That's awesome. I would respect that. - I did. I was like, "I will.". - Were you a jerk to them or did they just say that? - [Tommy] No, I was just like-. - They just said it outta nowhere. - I was like, "Oh, okay.". - [Shayne] That's awesome. - Anyway. - All right.

"This might be more for Malicious Compliance,". which is a different revenge subreddit. "But it works here, "and my post there got zero traction, so I'll try here, LOL. "I used to be a Starbucks barista. "We had a woman who would come in every morning. "and order, I shit you not, a double tall vanilla latte. "with three eighths a pump of vanilla. "Not a half pump, three eighths a pump. "She even made one of the baristas mark our bottle pump. "with a sharpie. "Every single day the first cup we would make,

"no matter who made it, was always wrong. "Either too sweet or not sweet enough. "So after a while, I began to just pretend. "to make another drink, pull the steam wand. "and wave my hands about like a fool behind the machine. "I would hand her back the same drink we made her. "the first time, and it was always perfect the second time, "even though it was the same drink.". - Yep. - Yeah. - "On my last day of work, "this woman decided to come in twice that day. "She was being over obnoxious. "and talking on her cell phone about deals. "and her assistant,

"and essentially just announcing her importance. "to everyone in the room. "It was 3:00 PM in the spring, and the place was filled. "with teenagers ordering frappuccinos. "I had both blenders going and both steam wand going. "when this woman decided to yell at me, "'God, I can barely hear myself think!'. "So I replied, 'Funny, I can still hear you complaining.'. "If you knew me, "you'd know I have the perfect facial expressions. "to go with it. "I look/looked like a snarky little shit. "I told her that I've been handing her back the same drink.

"every morning for over a year too. "I said verbatim, "'Kind of embarrassing now that you know, right? "'Three eighths is half a pump. "'for all intents and purposes here, ma'am.'. "She lost it. "She demanded my manager fire me on the spot. "or she'd call corporate and we'd lose her business. "Blah, blah, blah. "I hated my manager. "He was the opposite. "of a spirit of the rule/law kind of person, "and really enjoyed making our lives. "more difficult than they needed to be. "I knew that firing me actually reflects quite negatively. "on his quarterly reviews and knew he wouldn't do it.

"He told her it was my last day. "and the best he could do was send me home early, "which would be a reward rather than a punishment. "since the store was so busy. "She proceeded to spend the next two hours. "on hold with corporate outside. "Then when corporate either accidentally hung up on her. "or told her to shove it, she threw her glasses, "called me a little bitch in front of a ton of kids. "and ran to her car. "To her husband, so sorry for that night, bro. "Totally my fault.". And there's an emoji with the sunglasses. "Edit, she was offered a gift card, I think.

"But this lady was universally disliked by employees. "and customers alike. "Edit two, thank you so much for responses. "It warms my heart to see people appreciate this story. "as much as I do. "My people, mighty morphing retail rangers.". - Hell yeah. - [Shayne] That's pretty epic. - Oh my god. - Miserable. - I've known a lot of people who are baristas, and that is so common of people who have insane orders. - When I worked at Dunkin Donuts, there were many people-. - You worked at Dunkin Donuts?

- Yes! - I love Dunkin Donuts. - [Amanda] Really? - [Tommy] Yes! - What's your drink? - I've eaten a donut! - Wait, was your drink French vanilla extra extra. like everyone else? - No. Okay, so you'd get the blueberry, the sugar-free blueberry. - My sister's obsessed with the sugar-free blueberry. - Okay, and a pump of the sugar-free coconut. - Oh my god, that was my sister's freaking drink! - Okay, keep going. - I thought we were gonna kiss. I loved that. Wait, that was my sister's drink. She was like, "The blueberry and the coconut together. "Amazing." - Amazing. - Do you recall an absolutely insane order that-.

- All the time. We would get it all the time. We would get like teenagers from my high school. who would be like, "French vanilla extra extra,". which is extra cream, extra sugar, mind you. And then we would get cray... We would get, hmm. We would get really intense orderers, right? They would want it very, very specific. And we got the same people all the time. That woman is just one. We would get like 30 of them, and they would always do the, we did the same thing.

They'd be like, "That's not right.". And we always knew their car. We always knew their voice. So, so many times I would be like, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. "Let me remake that for you.". And I would go and go... "There you go.". And she'd be like, "So much better.". And I wouldn't do anything. I would just shake it. - It's just a power thing. - And give it back. - It's a power thing. - It's just a power thing 'cause in my mind-. - Placebo effect too. - In my mind, I'm like, if you're this specific about a drink. and you need it made handcrafted in a certain way, don't go to Starbucks. Starbucks, in my mind, I'm like, that's fast food.

You go there for like, bam, give me something. Throw it in my face. - Or Dunkin Donuts. Can't believe you're the blueberry coconut. I don't know a single other person-. - That's me. - That likes that. - I love it. Yeah, there are just some people who, 'cause on the Games channel, we just did a storytelling thing. So I worked at Burger Lounge, which was like a, you know, a fancy burger place, but was it? Some people just have this thing where they're like, "I need to like execute my power.

"to remind myself of my worth. "and give myself something to cling onto.". - Yes. - And they love doing this. You know, it's like if you were getting your car custom made. and it costs you like $80,000 per part or whatever, it's like, yes, be intense about it. But it's like, this is a $7 drink. These people are like, you know, in college. It's like, please. - They have to exert their control somewhere. To me, I'm like, what's happening in your life. where you feel like you don't have control?

- Yeah. - But I also think there is a mindset, especially I do think in America, of viewing retail and service workers as not human. - Oh for sure. - Completely. - Because I can't help when I'm ordering something. and it's Starbucks or something like that. and the place is jam packed, I put that context into it and if I order, and they get my order completely wrong, I'm like, "I'm just gonna drink this. "'cause look at what's going on here. "This is insane.". You know, I can't help but remove that-.

- Weirdly enough though, when you work in the service industry, I would rather have someone be like, "I'm so sorry. "Like, this isn't right. "This isn't what I ordered.". And I'd be like, "Oh, okay, I got you.". - It's the way you do it. - I don't mind that. - Yes, it's the execution. - In America, everyone should work. in the food service industry for at least a year. - I mean, look, I-. - He hasn't, we talked about this on "Smosh Mouth.". - I did talk about this where I've never worked any job. besides acting, but I fully acknowledge-. - No, you're one of the good ones. - But I fully acknowledge. And my brothers both worked in those fields,

and I fully acknowledge that, I'm like, that is so hard. I could never do it. - We're gonna put Shayne in a restaurant for one month, and he's gonna get all he needs. - Look, in some of the old Smosh Pit videos. where we did day jobs, where we went and like, we worked a food truck for like an hour. And I was exhausted. I was frying plantains. I'm like, "I can't do this shit. "Like, this is so hard.". - Yep. - Yeah. - I have so much respect for it. And yeah, just also just don't be an asshole to people. - Don't be an asshole. - Wait, so did they get fired?

- It was her last day. - So didn't matter anyway. - That's why she gave no shits. - Oh, it was already her last day. - She was like, "I'm gonna say whatever. "By the way, we haven't been giving you three eighth pumps. "for the last year, lady.". - I kind of love that she just-. - But also people who are assholes, what I'm always shocked about is that they are willing. to waste their time. - Yes. - I think that's also for me that I'm like, I'm the type that it's like, "Oh, they got my order wrong.". It's like, "Oh, well, we should go take it back.". I'm like, "Yeah, but that's another 10 minutes.". - Exactly.

- And I could be home in 10 minutes watching TV, or I could still be here in 10 minutes. because I can't let this go. I'm gonna go home. - She was there for two hours. trying to get through corporate. Like, that to me is just trying to make a point. - I'm obsessed with her. I think she could've gone harder. to be honest. - [Shayne] Oh for sure. - Oh yeah. - There's some comments here. "Not giving a (beep) is the best superpower there is.". I agree. - Agree. - "Every time I've quit a job, "I've always secretly wished someone would be extra rude. "to me, so I could just say exactly what I wanted. "without fear of repercussions.

"It's never happened sadly. "Congrats on living the dream.". OP responded, "I was really hunting for it that day. "if I'm being 100% honest." (laughs). (Amanda laughs). Man. Incredible. All right. - Hero. - Next story. - Okay. - This also comes from Petty Revenge. - Amazing. - "Want my girlfriend? "Threaten me? "Take my whole shitty life.". - Okay. Cool. - "I had a girlfriend, period. "We were bad for each other. "And unsurprisingly she was cheating on me.

"I found out in a rather dramatic way, "and I had a full on mental breakdown. "Dude who she was cheating with had been fed a bunch of lies. "to keep him from talking to me, "and he started threatening me with violence. "Long story short, we broke up. "She moved out of our place and into his place. "I started therapy. "A few months goes by and I realize in therapy. "that I wasn't just busted up about my ex-girlfriend, "but also my whole life. "I decided to find a new job, "a new place to live, everything. "Got the ball rolling, and the day I got my new job offer, "I saw an email come into our jobs@ inbox.

"at the company I was working for. "I recognized the name as the guy who was threatening me. "and now living with my cheating ex. "So I referred him to my boss, "talked about how great he was, "how I'd only heard good things, "and hey, because I was putting in my two weeks, "they should definitely hire him. "Dude comes in for an interview. "I'm on the panel. "When we're in the room together alone, "he's like, 'Dude, I'm so sorry, bro, "'for all the things I said. "'Thank you so much for helping me out.'. "I say, 'No sweat. "'She always had good things to say about you.

"'And I know she had a good picker. "'After all, she chose both of us.'. "And we chuckled like polite people. "He actually does okay in the interview and gets the job. "That job was a shit show. "I'm not exaggerating when I say. "that it is the worst job I ever had. "The place that I was moving to was paying twice as much. "for a third of the work. "I was so relieved to be leaving. "When I moved outta my place a month later, "my landlord asked if I knew anyone who was looking. "Gave her the guy's phone number. "That apartment was charming as (beep).

"when you first see it, "but was simultaneously absolute trash, "and you didn't know that until you were living there. "My buddy from my old job told me the guy got a call. "for it at work and jumped on it. "So I knew he had my old shitty job, my old shitty place, "and my old cheating girlfriend. "I hope he enjoyed my life more than I did, "but somehow I doubt it. "I do know that they broke up about two months later.". - Whoa! - What insane circumstances. - I'm obsessed with this. - Just being like, "You know what? "You can have it. "You know what?".

- Like, "Have that too. "Why don't you take this as well?". - [Shayne] Have that, man. - I kind of like love that. That to me, 'cause the guy will never know. - No, he thinks he's a great guy. - [Tommy] Yeah. - And to be fair, he's not necessarily doing a bad thing. He's just like, if you apply for an apartment, he doesn't owe you to say, "Oh, it's a bad apartment.". He's just like, yeah, man. - He's like, "You want my life? "Here's my life.". - Right. The bad thing he did was threaten him. I mean, it's like-. - Yes, that guy. - He was the other guy.

So it's like, you know, you're not to blame. in that big, you know, I'm gonna shut up, nevermind. - No. No, don't. What did he say in there? Bust it out. Busted. What did he say? - I don't know. Some comments. "I'm surprised you referred his application to your boss.". OP responded, "I hated my job so much. "It felt like the least I could do.". Someone said, "I wanna be a fly on the wall. "when she realized where they were moving into.". - 100%. - That is so funny. - The revenge is kind of on her.

- Oh, yeah. - [Amanda] Yeah. - Well, of course they broke up. I mean, look. - [Tommy] Right. I mean (laughs). - [Shayne] Yeah. - So the girlfriend, the cheating girlfriend moved into her old place with him? We think? - Or at least when she went to visit him was like, "Oh, this is my ex-boyfriend's.". So yeah, so no, his ex, his cheating ex was living with this guy, but he clearly was going to move to a new place. and didn't consult her enough. So they're about to move into, and then they broke up two months later.

- They probably broke up when she was like, "This is my ex's place." - "This is my ex's place. "I'm gonna cheat on you.". - "I'm gonna cheat on you.". - Holy crap. Someone else said, "The story should be chiseled into a stone. "to be immortalized as a hero's tale.". - 100%. - And then someone else said, "Imagine 20 years later, "he thanked you for all the great things. "you helped turn his life around with." (laughs). - He's like, "I left my cheating girlfriend. "I got a new job. "I left that apartment.". - [Shayne] Bro. Oh my god. - Wow. - Yeah, wow.

That's just a shocking coincidence. - Yeah. Also I love the idea of like answering to all of the little, like, hey, this is bad and maybe you should change this, and just being like, "Oh, I will do that actually.". And then it's like, "I will get a different job, "and I will move out and I will," it's cool, I don't know. - Yeah, no, he turned his life around. - [Tommy] Yeah. - It's really awesome. Good for him. - Wow, good for him. It's kind of a fun way to do revenge, I would say. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Yeah, that's not really like hurting anyone. - It's not even as much revenge. as it's just perfect circumstances.

- Exactly. - Yep. - All right, our next one here. This comes from Pro Revenge. - Pro revenge. - Pro revenge? - Which is another level. - You're a professional? - This is not petty. They probably put a lot of thought and effort into this. - Okay. - Typically. - Do they give themselves this title of pro revenge? - So Pro Revenge is a subreddit. - Okay, okay. - So you submit your story to either Petty Revenge, Pro Revenge, or there's also Nuclear Revenge.

- Oh, yeah. - There's also Malicious Compliance. where it's where you're told to do something and you do it, but it hurts the person that asked you. - Oh, okay. - Like a boss asks you to work overtime and you do it, but it actually ends up inconveniencing the boss somehow. You know how that happens. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - [Shayne] All right, here we go. - Okay, pro. - Pro. - "Pay your tattoo artists.". Okay. So this is a story that the OP knows about someone else. - Okay. - Sure. - Sure, a real story. - Just kidding. (laughs). - "This happened when I was young.

"I heard it secondhand from my grandmother. "who lived with the main character of this story's cast. "My uncle's ex-girlfriend was an all around horrible person, "abusive babysitter, "got my uncle into bad crowds and legal trouble, "and dabbled in so many substances from A to Z. "She was also heavily tatted. "There was an artist, the star of the story, "who was a family friend. "Great dude. Insane work. "She asked him to do a piece for her, "huge intricate angel wings, oh, the irony, across her back.

"He agrees. "It takes several sessions across weeks. "She repeatedly has to postpone payment, "but he's chill, family friend, yada yada. "Until it comes to the last session when it slips. "that she still doesn't have the money, "and more importantly, won't have the money like ever. "Now, the pro revenge. "No collection agency, no refusal to continue, "he smiles, waves it off, says he'll finish it up, "no charge. "It's gonna be a great piece. "Legendary. "One for the history books he guarantees.

"She's stoked. "So right between those gorgeous wings, right up her spine, "this idiot now has a massive veiny male appendage. "proudly standing at attention up her spine. "She saw it in the mirror when he finished, "and she was livid. "But hey, what's she gonna do? "She didn't pay him and wasn't going to pay him. "and expected hours and hours of work. "You give a lot of trust to someone. "when they take a needle to your skin. "to lay down something permanent. "Don't stiff your artists.".

- So she has a (beep) with wings on her back? - [Shayne] Yeah. - [Tommy] Yes. - That is wild! - Angel (beep). - To be honest though, that takes a lot of guts to be like, "You got it. "No worries.". Couldn't she feel it on her body? - No, have you ever played that game. where someone writes a letter, writes a word on your back? It's really hard to tell. - They do it in a lot of rom-coms, and they're like, "Love you.". - What I like is that the veiny penis. was probably more difficult than the wings. - But wasn't she like, "What part of the wing is that?".

- Oh, it's the veiny penis part. (Amanda laughs). - It's the (beep) part of the wings. (everyone laughs). - Holy shit. Wait, but they're family friends. - Not anymore. - Not anymore. No, not anymore. Well, they weren't gonna be anymore. because she wasn't gonna pay him. - Also, like, how do you live with yourself by like, you know, like, having do this person do so much work. on you? - You gotta be in a spot to be pulling that off. - [Shayne] I'm kind of shocked that the-. - Oh man. - Yeah, yeah. It wasn't the shitty lady's friend.

It was her boyfriend's friend. - Oh. - He's doing a favor. - But the boyfriend was really like influenced by her, and he would get into trouble because of her. And she's just a bad influence and bad, she was a cyclone of badness. - There an update on their relationship? - There's no update on this, but there's some comments. "Don't stiff your artists because they will stiff you. "In this case, quite literally.". Someone said, "He is letting the world know. "what kind of person she is.". And someone responded, "Angel (beep)". "Talk about art for exposure." (laughs).

Yeah, damn. - Wow. - Oh yeah, that's wild. - That sucks. 'Cause now if she wants to get it removed, now she's gonna have to pay the money. - Yeah, look, Reddit has definitely shown me, and I mean, it's a lesson I feel like we should all know. of just pay people for the work that you hire them for. - Yeah. - What I've seen a lot of on Reddit is people. who hire contractors or construction workers. to do work on their house, and then once the work's all done, they're like,

"Oh, we can't pay you or we're not gonna pay you as much.". And then there's videos of them coming back to their house. and just tearing it down. - Good. - It's like if we build a patio for you and then you say, "Oh, can't pay you," they have the right. to tear down their work that they just did. - I think it's really hard. I think boundaries really get crossed. when family friends do like labor favors. Like, I feel like that gets really, really tricky. Like, even with, you know, even with wedding stuff.

Like, when I just got married, a lot of friends volunteered. to like help out and stuff, but it was like, I was like writing it down. and making sure like, okay. - Everyone's gotta get paid. - Or everyone's gotta get paid or everyone has to get, or is this really like a wedding gift? - Right. - And luckily, like it was, and it was great, and people got paid and some of it was gift. But like, I think you have to be so careful. - [Tommy] It's hard. - I have a cousin who's an artist, and I've like commissioned work from him. And like he gave me a discount,

but I definitely still am like, if I'm buying art or purchasing something. or a service from someone, even if they're a good friend or a family member, nowadays I have the mindset of like, "I'm just gonna go into it like I'm paying, "this is a full on just deal.". There's no expectations of-. - Oh, yeah. - I kind of am a believer of that. And I almost don't like when someone's like, "Oh, I'll give you a discount 'cause,". or, "I'll do it for free.". I'm like, no. - I don't, no. - Nope, let's just do it.

Let's just do the thing. - It's never free. You know what I mean? - It's never free. - You always owe them back at some point. - It's just easier to be like, "I'll just pay for it.". - Right, and then also it's like the person that, you know, it's like, okay, let's say like, oh yeah, I'll sit on this couch with you, Amanda, for free. I'll do you that favor. - Thanks. - It's like, but no, but if you're like, "No, I'll pay you.". Then I'm like, okay, then I'm gonna really sit. on this couch. You know, I'm more motivated to like, do the thing. if you're getting paid. - So you do want that money?

- So I do want that money, yeah. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Remind me to Venmo Tommy after this episode. - An added thing to this though, and I'm not versed on tattoos at all. I've never had a tattoo. - [Amanda] Same. - A lot of comments are saying. that what he did to her is very illegal. - Oh. - Which I don't actually know. I can see it now that if he's putting something on her body. that she did not agree to, that is also murky. - But she didn't pay.

- I don't know. - [Amanda] For his services. - This is really bad news. for all the (beep) I've drawn around Smosh. (everyone laughs). - That's been you? - Oops. - [Amanda] It just says Tommy underneath. - Look, I wish I could. That's what a lot of comments are saying, that what he did was illegal. So there's just a lot of layers to this. I'm not versed in it. This is not a legal episode. We'll get a lawyer on one of these episodes. - Yeah, you guys should. That would be fun. - We'll get a lawyer on here at some point soon.

- [Amanda] Think that would be smart. - Maybe we have that planned. - I don't think so. - That'd be crazy if that happened in like three hours. - That'd be so insane. (laughs). - Yeah, that would be so weird, but... - Okay, next story. We're back to Petty Revenge. - Great. - [Shayne] But, you know-. - Great. - I love a petty. - Love it. Wait, was the (beep) one a pro? - That was pro. Well, yeah, that's pro. Well, he was a professional. - He was a professional. - Okay, here we go. "Had the roommate from hell and couldn't get rid of her, "so I made living with me as miserable as possible.".

- I don't know if I like that. - [Shayne] All right, let's see. - It's, at home? - Roommate stuff is always the murkiest, blurriest thing ever. - Home is your sacred space, man. - All right. "This happened in 2008 to 2009.". - Oh god. - So that means they were wearing short sleeve shirts. over long sleeve shirts, keep that in mind. - [Amanda] Yes. - "This happened in 2008 to 2009, "but I thought this community would appreciate the story. "In 2008, I had just left my husband. "I caught him cheating multiple times,

"and I was just over it. "A new girl, we'll call her Amy, started at my job, "and we made a fast friendship. "I was in the middle of packing up. "and moving out of my house. "I needed a roommate for a new apartment I was looking at. "because my wages weren't going to pay the bills. "So we move in together. "and live peacefully together for a while. "I was moving on with my life. "I had gotten a better paying job, "was spending time with my friends, "and I felt okay with life at the time. "At the time I was 25, single, "and not looking for anything serious, "so I had a friends with benefits. "who would stop over a few times a week.

"Amy was cool with it on the surface. "It did not affect her in any way. "My friend didn't hang out at our place. "He didn't eat at our place. "He didn't use our household supplies.". - Okay. - "My relationship with him affected her exactly 0%. "But I guess she was a little green about the fact. "that I was getting some attention and she was not. "She would flirt with him, go visit him where he worked, "et cetera." - Oh. - "But he was absolutely not interested in her. "This is where things started to go downhill.". - [Amanda] Uh-oh. - "For context, she had been married a few times.

"She was 13 years older than me. "And the dads had full custody of their respective kids. "She was dating someone, "but he was already in a relationship, "so he wasn't about to commit to anything. "besides stopping by for 30 minutes. "after he worked the night shift every day. "I tried to point out all the red flags, "but she was convinced it was love. "This dude used to hit on me constantly in front of her. "He was very open about being in a committed relationship. "with his girlfriend, "so I have no idea why Amy thought this was going anywhere.

"After a few months, "I met someone I wanted to be serious with. "So we started dating. "We will call the guy Tom. "Tom and I got serious pretty fast. "He was living in a horrible situation, "so he moved in with Amy and I pretty quickly. "I think it was after about a month of dating. "So we have our room, and she has her own room. "The bills went from 50/50 to 33/33/34. "to make sure things were still even. "We had a shared kitchen, living room, and bathroom. "After Tom moved in,

"she started openly hitting on him in front of me. "Every guy I had at my house, even just friends, "she had to hit on. "None of them ever took her up on it. "Every single one turned her down. "And I think this added greatly to her oncoming behavior. "Over the next couple weeks, Amy did a complete 180. "She stopped paying rent, refused to buy any food, "and would just eat whatever Tom and I bought. "and not wash her dishes. "We had two cats, one hers and one mine. "And she would never clean the litter in her room, "so her cat would use our hallway floor.

"as a bathroom every single day. "Every day when I got home from work, "there was a big steaming pile of cat shit. "right inside my front door, "sitting in the middle of a giant puddle of urine.". - Ew. - "My cat was locked in my room at night. "with her own supplies, so there was zero chance it was her. "It was the same thing every morning by the front door. "Whenever she was done eating the food she stole from me, "she would set her plate with leftovers. "on the kitchen floor for her cat to pick at. "She would leave the plate there for days. "to the point that if I didn't pick them up,

"there would be multiple plates on the floor with food. "in various stages of decay. "All of my dishes started going missing. "except for the cat's plates, of course. "And what dishes were left, she refused to wash ever. "She used my toilet paper, my laundry soap, even my tampons. "This went on for about two months, "and it just kept getting progressively worse. "She would use panty liners every day. "and would change them multiple times a day. "and stuff them in the garbage can in the bathroom. "She would leave it there completely overflowing. "and spilling onto the floor for days. "until I caved and put on gloves and threw them out.".

(Amanda gags). "The can would be full in about a week, "so this happened a few times. "That's not even the worst of it. "My expensive DSLR went missing. "I was a photography hobbyist at the time. "But it was my dream to be a professional photographer. "and own my own photography business. "I would shoot stuff for friends and family as practice. "And one day I grabbed my camera bag. "from the shared living room, and as soon as I picked it up, "I felt my heart sink in my stomach. "You know that instant dread that grips you. "in the second you realize something truly gut wrenching.

"has happened? "I opened the bag and of course the camera is gone. "That was an expensive camera for that time of my life, "and it was a gift from my parents, "so I was truly devastated. "I couldn't prove a thing, "and I wasn't even sure how long it had been missing. "It could have been her boyfriend that took it, "but either way, it was gone.". (Amanda gasps). "So now this is it. "This is the last straw. "I need this bitch out. "I went from nice girl to (beep) psycho in about 30 seconds. "I'm not the violent type, and I hate confrontation. "I'm not waiting for a (beep) eviction to go through,

"and I really didn't have the money for that anyway, "so here's where I start my petty revenge. "Amy wants to live here with me rent free, stealing my shit, "hitting on my boyfriend, and neglecting her cat. "So be it. "But it's going to be on my (beep) terms.". - Obsessed. - "One vital piece of information. "In my divorce, "the (beep) head moved back in with my mommy.". Or no (laughs). (crew laughs). Damn. - My mommy. - "One vital piece of information. "In my divorce, the dickhead moved back in with mommy, "and I took everything from the house to my new apartment, "so I owned everything and the lease was in my name.

"I started by changing the wifi password. "and the computer password. "The following week, I had my cable company come. "and remove the cable lines to her room. "I bought a small fridge for my room and a cabinet. "and put all my food and personal supplies in my bedroom. "and put a secure lock on my door. "I hid my pots and pans. "I locked up the soap and toilet paper. "The cabinets were empty. "I paid for it all, and I would be the only one using it. "When her cat shit on the floor, "I'd pick it up and smear it on her bedroom doorknob.".

- Oh. - "Overflowing bathroom trash cans filled to the brim. "with her panty liners were dumped on her bed. "I removed the knobs to the washer and the dryer. "I did everything possible to make her life uncomfortable. "I did other small stuff, anything that came to mind. "A few months prior, "Amy and I had been working at the same store, "and she borrowed another coworker's laptop. "She ended up getting fired, "but she never gave the laptop back, "and the coworker was really trying to get it back from her. "Amy ghosted her, of course. "So while she was out one day, "I went in and took the laptop.

"and gave it back to its rightful owner. "Amy called the cops on me and said I stole her computer. "But I explained what happened. "She admitted to the cops that the computer wasn't hers, "and the cops said it wasn't their problem anymore. "That one really made her hate me. "She wasn't working at the time, "so it's not like she had money to do anything. "or buy anything. "She was literally just existing in a room in my apartment. "She would disappear during the day, "but I have no idea where she was going. "She moved out after about six weeks. "When she moved outta my apartment, "I didn't even know she had left.

"I just noticed she wasn't coming or going for about a week. "So Tom and I cleaned out her room. "She left clothes, broken furniture, a cardboard dresser, "and five 39 gallon garbage bags of trash we collected. "from the mass piles of panty liners, rotting food, "and ordinary trash we found in the room. "It's a miracle we didn't have roaches. "I found all my missing dishes, silverware, and cups, "all covered in food and grossness. "I just threw it all away. "I wish I still had the photos though. "Oddly enough, about six months later, "I opened my back door to take out the trash. "and my camera was in a bag hanging from my doorknob.

"I know Amy definitely didn't return it. "For about two years after, "every time I would find out that Amy was living. "with someone new, "I would message them and send them the photos of her room, "papers in the trash that had her name on them. "And I would tell them the whole story. "One time it caused the people she was living with. "to throw her shit out on the porch. "She had just moved in and they had small kids, "and they didn't wanna risk it with her. "I stopped after that. "She knew it was me telling them too, "so I figured I had sufficiently made my point.

"Edit, she took the cat with her, "but not before she threw my cat outside. "My cat was missing for 10 days.". - No. (Amanda gasps). - This is horrific. This is under petty? - That is a nightmare. - Real quick. Camera never got returned? - No, it showed up on her back porch on the doorknob. It was hanging from the doorknob. Someone returned the camera, but she doesn't think it was Amy. - But maybe the-. - Boyfriend. - Maybe they fell out and then the boyfriend was like,

"I know you stole that camera," and then like returned it. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Holy. I can't believe that this chick lasted six weeks. of what the other woman was doing to her. Well, they both lasted a really long time. - I mean, what she was doing to herself also though. - [Amanda] Yes. - [Tommy] Yeah, that's-. - Locking up all her stuff. Smearing poop every day. - She just sounds like overnight she became a hoarder. Like, really, her room was filled with stuff. She wasn't cleaning anything. It just, nightmare fuel. - I always like (sighs). I never understand when people like snap.

- I was just gonna say that. - But I'm like, but this. - [Shayne] That's a snap. - I would be like (growls). - Well, it's a snap that maybe you could see coming. - [Tommy] Right. - You know, it's not like she was perfect before. - [Tommy] Right. - But she suddenly really-. - I don't mean Amy, I mean the poster. - [Shayne] Oh. Oh, you mean like-. - Like, over time she was just like, "Okay, well then I guess I'm gonna smear shit on her wall.". - Yeah, yeah. - Like, I get it. - She kinda like didn't go to her level,

but I think she just got so used to living in that shit. that she's like, "All right.". - [Tommy] "I'll do that.". - "I have become one with the shit.". - Exactly. (Shayne laughs). - "I can smear shit on your wall now.". - The panty liners. To me, it's, I've moved so much in LA. that you really don't know who a person is. until you live with them. I've lived with some really intense people in my life, and it gets really scary and really weird. And people let really gross stuff go on. for long periods of time.

- Oh. - [Tommy] Too long. - Too long where it gets to a point where you're like, "Well, this is just my life now.". - Yeah. - And then I think it's probably when you finally reach out. to someone and say, "Hey, I've been living in this situation,". and the person goes, "What?". That they go, "Oh shoot.". - Yeah, whoever's leaving all this recycling. in my one bedroom apartment in my kitchen, that person's crazy who ever is leaving all that recycling. - That's you, babe. (laughs). - What? - At least recycling is not gross though. That's cardboard. - But the panty liners, guys, what?

- No, gross stuff I can't do. I can't do food left out. I can't do any of that. - The plates on the ground. - Plates on the ground. That's like, that's buggy territory. How you doing that? - She somehow didn't get roaches. Even the roaches were like, "This place is messed up.". - It's like, that's a lot of liners. - What was Tom doing? - I don't-. - Was he like, "Good, did you smear the shit today?". (Tommy laughs). - He turns around in the bed. He is like, "Did you go smear the shit?". - Yeah. Yeah, I smeared the shit. Awesome. - I can't fathom. - And let me just say Amy is torturing her cat.

- Yeah, I know. - That cat's like, "Ah, I gotta go in the hallway again?". - Yeah, it's awful. - It's insane, man. 2008 was a different time. - It's true. - I hope Amy is, I was gonna say in a better place. I don't mean dead. I mean-. - In a better place. Not wearing true religion jeans. - Exactly. - And like a weird shirt. - Oh, so there's some comments. "Perhaps your camera was returned the same way. "you returned the purloined laptop.". They responded, "I believe so.".

And someone else responded, "Bonus points for using purloined, you magnificent soul.". And then someone said, "Does Tom get her old room or what?". And OP responded, "No, we got married and had three kids.". - Aw. - Aw. (Shayne laughs). That makes sense. He's like, "I can have kids with you after what-". - Yeah, after this. - After this. - Yeah. - Shit is fine. - Like, I've touched a bunch of shit, I can keep doing it. - Someone said, "Petty? "More like masterclass. "Good job.". And then last, someone says, "I don't need amusement parks.

"I just come here for the thrill ride.". - Wow. - That's how I feel. - Yeah. - That's a 70-year-old man just like, "I don't need a...". - One letter at a time. - I thankfully never dealt with a roommate of that, I've definitely dealt with messy roommates, but not-. - [Tommy] Never like that. - Oh, I've dealt with some, ooh. - Compares to this? - Well, one roommate threatened to punch me in my face, "my moneymaking face.". Pretty cool. (crew laughs). I was not making that much money back then at all. - Did they use that phrase?

- Yeah, "I'm gonna punch you in your moneymaking face.". While on top of that, there was a toilet clogged in this apartment. by a guy that was staying there who had the weirdest cough. It felt like he was dying every night. I barely saw him. That toilet remained clogged, like (mimics fart) shit out the walls for like weeks. (Shayne groans). So bad that she was like, "Who clogged the toilet?". And I was like, "What do you mean who clogged the toilet?".

- It's been. - It's him. - It's him, it's Coughy. - And she was like, "You gotta clean it.". I'm like, "I am not touching the shit stain.". - Yeah. - So, so many times I'd be like, I'd have to go use the weird bathroom up like by her room. - Oh. - Guys, that's just times. - The worst thing I dealt, I mean, well, I'm sure I have some repressed memories, but like the worst thing I've dealt with recently. is like the who's gonna take out the trash first. stacking challenge. - Yeah. - Where it's just like, oh, I'll just place this on top.

and see what happens. - What about the toilet paper that's on the roll? That's sitting on the roll? - That's sitting on top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's like, just do it. - Anyways. All right. - [Amanda] Wow. - Next story. "Guy tries to claim the armrest. "I let him have it his way.". - I can't with this. - Ooh, this is the type of stuff that I love. (Amanda groans). - Is this airplane? - Probably. - I'm assuming it's an airplane. No. "I'm a big lover of the theater. "and will usually go to whatever Broadway show.

"manages to make it to my city.". Oh, this takes place... - Oh, so this is live theater. - The real entertainment is not on the stage. No, the drama lies here! - Armrest! - A battle. - Of just this, just slow push. (laughs). - Let's start from the beginning here. "I'm a big lover of the theater. "and will usually go to whatever Broadway show. "manages to make it to my city. "I also have the cutest nephew in existence. "Sorry, people, these are facts.

"When Disney's 'The Lion King' came around, "I decided to treat my cute little nephew. "to his first live theater show. "I wanted everything to be perfect for him. "and managed to snag close orchestra seats. "right on the aisle. "I knew that during 'The Circle of Life,'. "there is a large elephant puppet. "that makes its way down the aisle. "And I wanted him to be surprised and blown away. "The seats are very tight. "And so it was my nephew on the aisle, me, "then a freaking rude old guy. "We'll call him Frog.". - Hell yeah.

- "We take our seats, curtains up, "and then I spend the entire first act getting elbowed. "in the side by Frog's bony elbows. "He had to know what he was doing, "but it happened over and over again. "I wanted to turn street so bad, "but I reminded myself that I have my cute little nephew. "with me and I don't want him to see Auntie's street side. "So I stewed for the first half. "and focused on my nephew's pure joy at the show. "During intermission, the frog gets up, "and I decided that the best way to handle things.

"would be discreetly and that I should claim the armrest. "for myself so that my arm would protect me. "Mind made up, I casually place my arm down. "and focus on my nephew. "Frog gets back, sits down, "and proceeds to jam his bony elbow under my arm. "and physically throw it off the rest. "He looks at me and says it's his. "because he was using it before. "I went from zero to oh hell no in 0.2 seconds. "and was about to lay into him.

"when I remembered my cute little nephew was with me. "Breathe, girl, breathe. "Suddenly-". - I love this author. - Me too. - "Suddenly the devil on my shoulder whispers the best idea. "into my head, and I evil grin. "He wants the armrest? "Fine, he can have it. "I proceed to lay my arm perfectly on top of his. "as if his arm is the armrest, "complete with my hand over his. "He looks over at me in shock, and I stare straight at him, "silently daring him to say anything. "He pulls his arm back.

"and spends the rest of the second act. "with his arms crossed. "I sit comfortably enjoying a wonderful show. "with my darling nephew.". - Yes. - A solid move. - I love this story so much. Street aunt. - I love that. - Don't wanna be street auntie right now. (laughs). - It's so cute. Oh, hell no. - Nephew, I don't want you to see this. (laughs). - Look away. - Look away. That's so awesome. Just grab the hand. - I mean, that is what an old frog would say of like,

"Well, it's mine 'cause I was using it beforehand.". - Yeah. I'm assuming Frog's in the age where it's just like, "I don't care about shit anymore.". (Amanda laughs). - [Shayne] Yeah. - That's my, you know, it's like-. - You young people keep taking our seats, and it's like, what are you talking about? - Come on. Everyone gets one armrest. Everyone gets one armrest. - Yeah, you can't get two. - You can't get two. You're not a king. - The only time I believe, and I don't, if other people take it, I'm never gonna fight for an armrest. The only time where I believe it's fair.

for the person to get two armrests is the middle seat. on an airplane. Because if you're on the window, you get to lean on the window. If you're on the aisle, you can take the aisle armrest. And the person in the middle is squished, so... - But anytime I'm in the middle, I never get both armrests. - I never get either armrest when I'm in the middle. But I think about that. - So Shayne's just... - I sit there like this and I go, "You know, the person in the middle should get both.". (laughs). - Every time. Every time. I agree that they should get it. And we don't get it.

- The armrest is really tricky, especially with... - There's no rules. There's no spoken rules about armrests. - There isn't. - And also her wording is, he was elbowing her before that. So he was very much like-. - There was spillage. - In her space. - Leaning into her. Just really just an entitled invasive person. - Spillage is like a "Seinfeld" term, I just realized. - Spillage. - There was spillage. - Ew. (gags). - It's like, keep that. As someone who is used as a door at every, like,

whenever I'm out, sorry. Whenever I'm out, like at a club or at a thing, people will find their way where they need to go through me. - Yes, I'm always used as a door! - They'll find me, and then go. And so I'm always like, oh, I'm in the way. I'm the one in the way somehow. - I've noticed that. - I love that. - I've noticed that. (laughs). - I've noticed that about myself too. When I'm walking and there's crowds, when you're walking like at someone and I'm like, "Oh, you're not gonna move at all.". I'm like, "Both of us should move outta the way.". But I'm like, "Oh, I have to dodge you.". - I love that terminology 'cause that's how, I feel like I'm a revolving door at every club.

- Amanda. - They look at me and they're like, "Oh, there's the door.". - Amanda. Amanda, one time someone on my right was going forward. and someone on my left was going back. and I moved like a rotating door. - That's happened to me too! It's like they see the tallest person and they're like... - Excuse me. - I hate the term that I see on TikTok. a lot of referring to people as NPCs. But whenever someone does that and I'm like, "Oh, it's like you don't even see me. "and I have to move outta the way of you,". I'm like, "Are you actually a robot?

"Are you just a little computer program. "that's moving around?" - Yeah. - It's the spatial awareness. It's like, okay, if you're sitting and there's an armrest, hello? We're here with everybody. - Frog. - Think about it, Frog. - People who are like that, who are just very invasive or just spatially unaware, I stay so far away from. - [Tommy] Same. - If I clock them, I'm like, "I will never be your friend. "I'm going to remove myself from your existence.". - Yep. - But like also she did this, and she said hand on hand and then looked at him.

and was like, "Oh hell no." - "Oh, this is mine.". - And he was like (grumbles). - I love, that's the best move ever. - Love it. - [Shayne] Pretty awesome. - I'm gonna pull that on planes now. - [Amanda] Oh god, someone's gonna be like, poof. - I'm gonna do that, and I'm gonna go look at him. and I'm gonna go, "This plane's going down.". (everyone laughs). We're going the (beep) down. - This plane's going down. The person's like, "What?". You're like, "Cool, Reddit story.". - All right, you wanna give me this armrest? Okay, now we're good. Okay, some comments here.

"Dominance asserted.". Someone else said, "This was great. "You could also have laced your fingers together. "for an extra (beep) you.". - Oh. - Someone said, "Should have licked your arm. "before placing it on his. "Power move.". - No? - And then someone else said, "Angel on your shoulder tacitly approves.". - Is there a (beep). - [Shayne] Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The (beep) is like, "Yeah.". - The (beep) angel on your shoulder approves. Oh man, that's really great. Okay, next one. - [Tommy] I love that. - Also, "The Lion King" on Broadway is an incredible show.

- [Shayne] I've heard it's unbelievable. - I don't remember the elephant 'cause I saw it so long ago, but wow, unbelievable. - I really wanna see it. - So good. - Yeah. Okay. - Okay. - Petty revenge. - [Amanda] Yay. - Here we go. "Quit my job at an upscale steakhouse, "but not before making sure all the customers knew. "what a prick the owner was.". Okay. This happened back in 2009. The good years. - [Amanda] God. - Hey, panty liners. (Amanda laughs). - Panty liner years.

"This happened back in 2009, "but I shared it in a comment on another sub yesterday. "and figured it belonged here too. "I was waiting tables at an upscale steakhouse, "and the company culture was absolute garbage. "The owner, Gary, was constantly throwing tantrums. "and screaming at everyone, and we all hated him. "He'd line us all up before every shift just to berate us. "and yell how lucky we were that he'd hired us. "because we were all shit at our jobs. "and no one else would ever have us. "Stuff like that. "The only reason anyone ever stuck around.

"was because the money was good. "due to the high ticket prices and solid customer base, "as well as the fact. "that there weren't many other employment options. "for fine dining services in the area. "In addition to being a massive prick, "Gary was also a cheap bastard. "There was this six foot tall dessert cooler in the kitchen. "that had a broken door, "and he put off fixing it for months. "because he didn't wanna spend the money. "So it was just sort of hanging on its hinge, "and you had to really be careful opening it. "Inevitably during the height of a Saturday night rush, "it fell completely off and hit one of the servers hard. "So she's laying there on the kitchen floor,

"bleeding from a serious looking wound on her head, "and Gary is standing over her and screaming down at her, "'Way to go. "'Just brilliant. "'What the (beep) am I supposed to do now? "'It's the middle of the rush. "'You've got a full section, "'and no one's going to be able. "'to pick up your goddamn tables. "'because everyone who works here is useless. "'and incompetent. "'You should have been more careful.'. "I'd seen a lot of his shit, but this was the hard line. "And I made a decision right then that I was out. "So when I got home that night, "I typed up a letter to Gary telling him.

"exactly why I was quitting and leaving no detail out. "when it came to his tantrums, his verbal abuse, "and the hazards in the workplace that he wouldn't address. "I printed out 30 copies, "went in early for my opening shift the following day, "mid-afternoon, the place was only open for dinner, "and hid them all over the restaurant. "where guests would find them; "in the menus, under the napkins on the tables, "in between paper towels in the restrooms, et cetera. "Some were in really obscure places. "so that they wouldn't be found right away. "and would keep popping up randomly. "Surprise, allowing my legacy to live on.

"Then instead of working my shift, "I left before the pre-shift lineup. "Fast forward to a couple days later. "when a coworker reached out. "and shared with me the beautiful details. "of Gary's head almost exploding with rage. "when he found out about the letters. "A couple tables read them and walked out before ordering. "People in the dining room could hear him screaming. "from the kitchen. "Apparently they were still finding letters weeks later, "and every time one surfaced, "the vein in Gary's forehead would pop out. "and he'd disappear into his office and slam the door.

"It remains one of my proudest moments, "and my only regret is that I couldn't be a fly on the wall. "watching this all unfold.". That's pro revenge. That's not petty. - That's pro revenge. - Wait, I love that. Is that like, remember the movie "Waiting"? Like, is that just like a better part of that movie. with Ryan Reynolds? - I guess. - That is brilliant. I wish he, why didn't he stay? - Why didn't he? What do you mean? - To watch the reveal? - [Shayne] He probably wanted to get out there. - It was a little too late. - Gary sounds a little scary. - Yeah, Gary's scary.

- I hope Gary, Scary Gary is gone and fired. - [Shayne] I don't know. - That's great, 'cause it's like, it's kind of-. - No, the owner, so... - Yeah. - [Shayne] Can't really get fired. - Scary Gary. - It's harmless in a way that it's like, you're just leaving information around, and then it's like Easter egg hunt thing. It's like, ooh, they're in little places. It's just fun. - Yeah, exactly, you're just leaving facts around. - Yeah. What would you do if you found a letter like that. while you were eating at a restaurant? I would be a little confused at first.

I'd be like, "What is this?". - Shayne's like, rip, rip, rip. - I think if I comprehended that, I was like, oh, a worker here is saying. that this place is awful to work at, I think I probably would feel-. - I would probably leave. Like, if someone had the the need to hide this information. and spread it because they couldn't otherwise, it's like, oh, I'd leave. - I'd probably go up to the host and be like, "Is there something going on in this restaurant?". - [Tommy] Yeah. - Do I need to call the forces? - Exactly. - Of the police? (Shayne laughs). I don't know. - Do I need to call the Army?

- All the king's horses and all the king's men? - Do I need to call the King's Court to come in here. on their horses? - To mend this all back together again? - As someone who's cried in a walk-in freezer. at a restaurant. - Oh. - Restaurant culture. Restaurant culture alone-. - I've cried many times in a walk-in. - Oh, it's the best. My only regret is that I wish the tears hardened. into little crystals. - Oh. (Shayne laughs). - [Shayne] And I save them, - And you're there, you're just like (pants). And then someone (beep) busts into trying to move a keg, and they're like...

- They're like, "Crying in the walk-in?". - I'll be right out. And they're like, "Okay." - [Tommy] Okay. - Don't care. - Yeah. It's like it's already hard enough. when it's just the restaurant. and so like to have a Gary there. (Amanda sighs). No way. - Scary Gary. - Scary Gary. I'm taking notes on this. - Yeah, this is incredible. - That's great. - Some comments here. "Great story to read with my morning coffee. "(beep) Gary.". Someone else said- - Hell yeah. - "I'm usually the person who preaches to leave the job. "with dignity no matter how bad the circumstances. "But this was effed up.

"Gary got what he deserved. "You should have made more copies.". And lastly, someone said, "Holy shit. "Hopefully they went outta business as word got out?". OP responded, "The place itself is still in business, "but I'm pretty sure it's under new ownership thankfully.". That's great. - That's great. - Also, I feel like that was kind of leaving with dignity. - That's what I was just gonna say. - Sorry, comment. I feel like there's dignity to that. - Removed yourself, but you just kind of informed everyone. - It's like, 'cause a news story isn't gonna pick this up. Like, it's like how else do you spread this word?

- Scary Gary is out. - Tonight at 8:00 PM, Scary Gary. - And then that lady. that you were doing earlier interviews him. - So Scary Gary, we wanna talk to you. (Shayne laughs). So we have a little scary, oh my god, I'm so sorry. (Shayne laughs). The drugs haven't kicked in. We've got Scary Gary. - Sorry. Is this your armrest, Gary? - We've got Scary Gary here to talk with us. Tell us what's going on. (Shayne laughs). I'm sorry I put my whole hand in your mouth.

- No, that was great. (everyone laughs). - I just wanna play this host so bad. - I know. - We've got Scary Gary here. And also our advertisements. We wanna thank you guys for coming in hot. Macy's, you get 20% off if you use my name Carolynn. - The entire top half of your head does not move. - Is it like the stenographer that we were talking about? - Yes, yes, it is. - The court stenographer. Can I just play someone who has dead eyes? Please! Please! - Okay.

All right, next story. Trigger warning, poop. - Okay, thank you. Why didn't you trigger warning cat shit and panty liners? - I didn't know that was coming. - [Amanda] I'm just kidding. - All right, here we go. Petty revenge. - Dookie harm. - This comes from Petty Revenge. "Wife thinks I'm taking longer than I need in the bathroom, "so I make sure she knows it's legit.". - Okay. - Okay. - Okay. - All right. - All right, this is gonna be truly petty revenge.

'cause this is a husband to his wife, so hopefully he's not doing something horrible to her, like-. - Smearing shit on her. - Yeah, so I smeared cat shit on her doorknob. All right, here we go. "My wife and I bought our first house. "shortly after our wedding. "Everything went smoothly. "and we enjoyed our time as newlyweds. "Of course, as the honeymoon phase began to fade, "some minor issues started to emerge. "For her, the first one was the typical guy. "on the toilet problem. "So sometimes I spend quite a bit of time on the toilet. "It's all legit though. "I'm not just scrolling on my phone. "I mean, I also do that, "but I'm also doing what I'm supposed to be doing as well.

"Anyways, my wife started to pick up. "on how long I was spending in the bathroom. "and commenting on it. "This was exacerbated with some unlucky incidents. "of her asking when I was coming out. "just as I was standing up and about to flush the toilet. "So it seemed like I was just standing there. "until she said something. "and flushing to fake like I just finished. "For context, I eat a lot. "I usually eat about 3,000 calories a day, "give or take a few hundred. "And I'm a thin framed guy, 160 pounds, give or take,

"and about six foot five. "back when I was still getting used to the bowel movements. "associated with eating that much, "and they tended to come at random times in varying amounts. "My wife though didn't believe me. "Her diet was much less structured than mine, "and she had no notion of what was going on in the room. "for so long. "This culminated in a few arguments. "with her accusing me of wasting time in the bathroom. "on my phone and myself insisting that I was indeed pooping. "They were mostly joke arguments, "but I really wasn't wasting time. "and was actually a little offended. "that she wouldn't believe me. "So I decided I would get a little revenge.

"and clear my name in the process. "So the next time I was in the bathroom. "and my wife was in earshot, "I began loudly announcing the following. "at the appropriate intervals. "'Poop is currently exiting my butthole!'. "Shortly followed by, "'Poop has finished exiting my butthole.'. "I would do this two or three times. "for however long I was in the bathroom, "during which I would be met with laughter. "or groaning from the other room, "depending on how many times I had made my announcement. "that session. "After a few days of this, she would get grossed out.

"and say, 'Okay, okay, I get it!'. "Since then, "I've developed a much more predictable poop schedule, "but I no longer get questioned as to my goings on. "in the bathroom behind closed doors.". - Okay, is this wife like ear up to the thing? She's like, "Hey, is he pooping?". Like, what is going on there? - I think it's all joke, he said it's joke arguments. I think she's like, "Oh my god.". - This is all light hearted, yeah. - "You're wasting your time in there.". He is like, "No, it's really happening for 45 minutes.". - I know people like that that will be,

I have a friend who's like that, that just will be pooping forever. - Yeah, I can't relate. - You know, sometimes it's like, you know-. - I can't relate. - No, I'm one of those people, I'm like, I'm in and out and it's like, done. - Shayne's just like (yells). - I'm just like, I'm just like, "Done!". (everyone laughs). - He doesn't even wipe, jeans on. - The jeans wipe for you as you pull up. - Listen, sometimes it's like holding a cracker. above a gopher hole.

(everyone laughs). - [Amanda] What a what? - You just like, you're wafting the scent in. for the gopher to, you know what I mean? It takes a minute to like coax it out sometimes. Okay, room! - That metaphor-. - Okay, room of people not agreeing. - A cracker over a gopher hole? - To coax it out. You gotta sit there for a while. You gotta sit there for a while. - What's the scent? The toilet bowl? - Yeah, yeah. Like, the water of the toilet. - The water's like, "Come, come to me.".

- Sometimes, you know, sometimes it takes a minute. - It's always shocking to me. how different everyone's experiences are. - I mean, yeah, it does take a minute. I just would never think of a cracker and a gopher hole. - I just, no, I don't struggle with that, man. I'm a very lucky person. I'm one of those people that can fall asleep immediately. Clearly I sit on the toilet. and my body's like, "We're ready.". - It's just like, "Psst.". - And you're like, "Done.".

- You're like, "I'm done. "The poop has left my butthole!" (laughs). - I like to cannonball onto the toilet seat. - Yeah! Boop. (everyone laughs). - Okay. - Wow. - Okay. - What a story. - All right. - It is hard when you have one bathroom. - I can see that. - I definitely have one bathroom. - I can see that being... - In the comments, they say they have multiple bathrooms, so-. - Why does she care then? - She's just joking with him.

She's just, she's just-. - Does he not spent enough time with her? Is she jealous of the toilet? - I wanna cuddle. - I wish you'd shit on me. (everyone laughs). - I wish you'd cracker over my gopher hole. (everyone laughs). - Some comments here. "Ironically, 75% of the readers of this post. "were on the toilet.". Someone else said, "So how long do you sit on your throne, your majesty?". Someone said, "Wow, I'll be forever single. "I will never explain my bowel movements to anyone. "or any other activity I choose to do solo. "behind a closed door.".

- I love that. - OP responded, "We used to be squeamish about it, "but now you might say, we just don't give a shit.". - [Tommy] Yep. - Hilarious. This guy's a comedian. - Scary Gary. - What I'll never understand, and I will never be this, even if I'm someday married for 30 years, I will never leave the door open while I'm in the bathroom. - Same. - I cannot fathom that. - [Amanda] Very true. - No. I'm shutting the door. I like to pretend that it's Schrodinger's box, and when I shut the door. that I exist in a different plane of existence.

- Yep. - Well, my (laughs). Sometimes when you shut my door, it's like an old handle, you get stuck sometimes, so I don't fully close it. So there's sometimes this little like line. where you can peek in, and sometimes I'll look over and it's just Gordey's eyes, and he was like- - [Shayne] What? - "When are you done?". - [Tommy] He's like, "Hey.". - [Amanda] Yeah. - What? - Yeah, 'cause I don't wanna shut the door. and get locked in, so sometimes I'll just be there, and I'll look over and it's just like the little thing-. - And just a six foot five Belarusian looking in.

- He'll be like, "When are you done?". Or he'll be like, "Hey, do you want coffee?'. Like, it's just, it doesn't really bother me. - That's different than being like... (Amanda laughs). You know? - The cracker is over the gopher hole. - Oh, and then someone left a comment making a joke. about the poop knife. Have you guys ever heard about the poop knife? - Yes. - No. Of course I have not. - Poop knife is a legendary Reddit story. We can read it sometime. - Okay. - Basically the TLDR is that someone visits a friend.

and they have a poop knife hung up in their bathroom. - That's enough. Meaning to cut it off? - To cut to, like, yeah. And it's like the family, the whole family's like, "Yeah, the poop knife," and it's like so normal. - Meaning like, you have to go-. - We'll have to read-. - [Amanda] Like, you gotta like head out? - We'll read it at some point. We'll read it at some point. - Yeah. - How do they clean it? - I don't know if it's that. I don't know if it's for that. or if it's for, I don't know what,

I forget what the exact purpose of-. - Oh, to cut it up so it goes down? - [Shayne] Yeah. (Amanda yells). (crew laughs). - I don't like that. - Yeah. - I do not like that. I'm not a fan. - Yep. Plunger, toilet brush, poop knife. - Well, wait, Amanda, you are married. Is there any form of petty revenge that you. or your husband have ever gotten on each other? Like, of that level? - Definitely. We (beep) around with each other all the time. - Okay. - We used to have this window in our shower.

that you could see through into the toilet. - What? - I don't know. In our old place, we used to have this window in our shower. It made no (beep) sense. And so you could like peek in the window. and see you on the toilet. And Gordey one time was cooking steak, and he had the steak through the window and he was like, "Dinner's ready.". (everyone laughs). I was going to the bathroom, and I was like, "Stop, it's scary.".

We (beep) with each other constantly. - Steak scares me. - We really (beep) with each other constantly. - [Shayne] That's funny. - I can't think of something super specific, but-. - No, that sounds pretty-. - All. No, that sounds pretty (beep) up. - That sounds pretty awful. Okay. This is our last story. - Wow. - I'm sad. - I know, this has been so fun. - I feel like we're at a sleepover. - And it comes from Pro Revenge. - Okay. - Okay, the pros are really... - It's in quotations. The title's in quotations. "I'll come back so long as Larry isn't there.".

- I love these names. - I know. - All right. "Got permission to share this from my buddy. "who is a software engineer. "Background. "To give you some background on my friend, Tim, "made up name, "he has been programming since he was like seven years old.". Just like Tim. - Just like Tim. - "Tim said by the time he got to college, "he breezed through most of his comp-sci classes. "because a lot of the content they were covering, "he had already mastered years prior. "Tim is an excellent programmer. "Tim's career has been quite successful. "He's worked for Google, Facebook, Amazon,

"and finally a hedge fund. "The story starts at the hedge fund. "Tim works a lot with AI technology, "and at this hedge fund, he was the lead programmer manager. "who spearheaded an effort to optimize their AI. "that helped them complete literally millions. "of trades a day. "To say his work had a massive impact was an understatement. "All of this was going on with COVID-19 in the background. "Due to COVID-19, they went to a work from home model. "where my friend Tim kept working. "During the work from home, Tim was looking. "around his fancy $4,500 New York City apartment.

"and wished for things like a yard, a heated pool, "a nice three car garage, and not living in a high rise. "It dawned on Tim that he could leave New York City. "Tim moves to Michigan. "So Tim moved back to his hometown in Michigan. "where he bought himself a really nice home. "with a heated pool, a three car garage, a nice yard, "and guess what the yard had in it? "A mother in love suite, "which was essentially a two bedroom, "one bath second home on the property of his main home, "which he turned into his man cave.

"It's actually pretty sick. "Oh yeah, and his mortgage payment was far less. "than his $4,500 a month rent, like half. "Tim spent the rest of his COVID-19 work from home. "pounding out projects, et cetera. "He never actually informed his employer. "on a official basis he moved, he just kept working. "Then COVID-19 'ended.'. "COVID-19 is finally over. "Back to the office, or... "Tim's boss, Larry, calls him up and goes, "'All right, Tim, on Monday we are starting work. "'back at the office.'. "And Tim goes, 'Yeah, about that, I moved to Michigan.'.

"Larry is shocked and goes, "'You didn't even ask if you could do that?'. "And Tim basically said, "'I didn't know I needed your permission to move,'. "in a sarcastic as (beep) way. "Larry insists that Tim needs to move back to New York City. "or he won't have a place on the team. "Tim says he's been doing the exact same work from home. "at a high level for the past year. "He's willing to travel to New York City. "for a few meetings a year on his own dime, "but he feels his quality of life is so much higher. "outside of New York City, "he has no desire to live in New York City.

"To which Larry said if Tim doesn't have any desire to live. "in New York City, "then he has no desire to keep Tim employed. "Now, dear Reddit, "what do you think a talented senior programmer. "with over a decade of experience. "who specializes in AI technology is going to say. "to a response like that? "If you're thinking he quit, you'd be absolutely right. "He quit. "Maintaining complex code can be hard. "Now anyone that has done any programming knows. "that sometimes the best person to maintain the code. "is the person who wrote the code. "There's logic, there's thought processes.

"There's so much that goes into programming. "that can be so individualistic it can be hard. "for someone to take over a code base they didn't write. "John, CEO, enters the picture. "Six weeks go by when John calls Tim, "John is the CEO of the hedge fund. "John gets Tim to agree to consider coming back. "So that's when John suggests they fly Tim to New York City. "to sit down with John. "Tim, however, flipped the switch and said, "'No, how about you fly out to Michigan. "'and we discuss this?'. "Tim wanted to establish that if he was going to come back,

"it was going to be from home working in Michigan, "and if he was going to talk employment, "it was going to be done in Michigan. "John agreed and two days later flew out to meet with Tim. "Tim sits down and John says they really need him. "because he provided a whole lot of value. "to the organization and the programming team is struggling. "John offers Tim the opportunity to come back. "with a 20% pay cut. "since he won't be living in New York City. "and John called that a cost of living adjustment. "To which Tim said, "'No, I want a 15% raise above what I was earning.'.

"John sits back and responds, "'The reason we pay what we pay is because we ask you. "'to live in New York City. "'and we understand that it's an expensive city to live in.'. "To which Tim says, 'You pay what you pay. "'and you pay it because I am worth it. "'If I wasn't worth what you pay, you wouldn't be paying me. "'Now my first condition is if you want me back, "'it'll be a 15% raise.'. "John goes, 'And second?'. "'The second condition is I'll come back. "'so long as Larry isn't there.'. "John sighs, 'You're asking for too much.'. "To which Tim goes, "'You don't need to bring me back if you don't want to.

"'I'll be fine elsewhere.'. "John goes, 'I'll talk to the partners.'. "Tim says, 'My offer is good 'til Friday.'. "John responds, 'What do you mean?'. "Tim says, 'Next Monday is when I'm going to start looking. "'for work. "'This offer is good until Friday.'. "It was Tuesday. "John leaves. "That Thursday the phone rings. "It's John. "In conclusion. "Tim, we are transferring Larry to a different fund. "He won't be working with you anymore, "and we are fine with giving you a 15% raise. "Can we send you an offer letter for you to sign?

"Tim says, 'Of course. "'And Larry is really gone?'. "John goes, 'Yes, you will never need to interact. "'with Larry ever again.'. "That was the start of this year. "Tim hasn't been in New York City, hasn't heard from Larry, "hasn't seen Larry on any communications, et cetera.". Damn. - Whoa! - Tim! - Gotta move back home. - Gotta move back home. - Dude. - Tim is nuts. - He took care of business. - [Shayne] Yeah, he didn't mess around. - He found his worth. Like, I am just picturing Tim like frolicking in the forest.

- Yes. - Swimming in his pool, hanging out with his parents. Like, hell yeah. - I know nothing about coding or programming or anything, but there's been several stories in these Reddit stories. where coders and programmers, if they write a code for a company, they are like-. - [Amanda] Very valuable. - They cannot be removed. They are now ingrained to that. - I remember that other Reddit story. - There was another one like that. Yeah, I mean, it would be so easy.

for him to get another job. - Of course. - That's why he was saying that. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Holy, good for him. - There is a theme in most of these stories. about like knowing your worth and like standing up. and fighting for that. - Yes. - [Shayne] Absolutely. - You're worth more than you think. - It's one of those things where it's like. if every single service worker woke up tomorrow. and was just like, "Hey, are we all just gonna agree. "that we don't give a shit?". It's like, what can anyone else do? You're the ones making the drinks. - It's so true. - Right.

- We're either not gonna drink or, you know... - I don't know about you-. - We don't get coffee now. - Yeah. I always like have a sigh of relief. when I hear these stories. about people moving out of these big bustling cities. like New York, like a really hard place to live, paying high rent and moving to like nature or more land. I'm always like (sighs). I just feel for them. I'm like, I feel better for them. And he was paying half? - Half for like five times as much space. - Did you say a mother-in-law suite?

- Yeah, so someone said, "Great story. "Do want to add, it's called a mother-in-law suite, "not a mother in love suite. "for couples who want one of their mothers. "to live on the property.". OP responded, "Okay.". - I'm just a mother in love. - He's like, okay. And he goes back to coding. - Well, the OP is not Tim. OP is talking about Tim. - Got it. - Someone else said, "I hope Tim is enjoying the quieter life.". Someone said, "Nice try, CEO. "You lost all bargaining power the moment you stepped.

"on the plane. "You're lucky that's all he asked for. "Get the (beep) out with that pay decrease BS. "Dude is making you millions, "and you think he's going to accept a pay loss. "to work for you?". And then they're just laughing. Someone said, "Tim is a very smart person. "We should all learn from Tim.". Yeah. Wow. - I mean, we really should. I feel like COVID did a lot of things for people, but I definitely think a lot of people were like, "My god, my life is worth so much more than this grind.". - Exactly. - [Shayne] Yeah.

- When there's like a threat of death. - The illusion wore off. I feel like the "Imagine" video kind of changed. - It really did change everything. - Celebrities got together and they're like, "We're gonna make an impact on people.". And what I think everyone realized is just like-. - (beep) you. - (beep). - [Tommy] All of this. - So many people. (laughs). - I love this song. I want to do "Imagine" with my people and my friends. (Shayne laughs). I'm Gal Gadot, and I'm Wonder Woman.

- And then everyone on the planet was like, "Pay me more.". (everyone laughs). - Exactly. - I need to be being paid way more for this shit. Yeah, well that was some good revenge. - That was actually very uplifting. - Yeah, I feel like empowered. - Everyone 'cause they all won. They got the armrest. - Yeah. - They got the armrest, and Frog went back to his little hole. - And all of us, all of us, even you at home, we're all Tim. You can be Tim.

- We all can be Tim. - And we all can be that gopher. just ready to get that cracker and come out. - And never ask for three eighths of a pump of vanilla. - Yeah, exactly, exactly. - Well, thank you both for being here. - Oh my god, you're so welcome. - This is the best. - This was so much fun. - It's always a ride. And thank you for watching. As always, let us know what other subreddits we should cover. Let us know your revenge stories down in the comments below. And we'll see you next time.

Bye! - Bye! - Yeah! I was gonna do that!