Is She The Villain? | Reading Reddit Stories
- We have found even more insane, unhinged, absolutely bonkers Reddit stories. There are just a nonstop pouring of crazy things. that people write on there. And we've gathered up a bunch more, and they are fantastic. And today I'm joined by Ian and Spencer. Both of you like Reddit. I think you're actually the first guests on here. who actually use Reddit a lot. - First white guys. (everyone laughs). - You would never be able to tell, but... - No, I actively stay off Reddit.
- [Shayne] Oh, that's smart. - But I know, 'cause I know like I'll just fall down. like a pit of despair. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Yeah. - That does happen. - But I do use it for whenever I finish like an episode. of "Love Is Blind,". and I want to go to like what everyone's talking about. - That's smart. - Yeah, "Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.". - Okay, so those are the two subreddits that you-. - Those are the two subreddits I'm on. - Those are, yeah. - I get most of my humor from r/funny. (everyone laughs). - That's so epic. - That tracks. That tracks. - That's so epic. - Yeah, here's a story for you. Are you prepared?
- [Spencer] Yeah. - Okay. "My husband is obsessed with Destiny's Child, "and it's ruining our marriage.". (crew laughs). This is from r/advice, when you ask Reddit for advice, which is smart. - You wanna know my advice? - What? - Don't go chasing waterfalls. - [Shayne] Okay. - Not Destiny's Child. - Oh (beep) that's TLC. That's TLC (beep). - "Last year my husband discovered Destiny's Child. "I don't know how he wasn't aware of them before. "That's beside the point. "He obviously didn't have this obsession.
"before we were married. "In fact, we've been married for seven years. "and he'd never exhibited any signs of obsessive behavior. "before this. "Now his obsession is taking over both of our lives. "and costing us a lot of money. "He spends all day on eBay bidding on Destiny's Child merch. "He is always the highest bidder, so it's very expensive. "He is only subscribed to streaming services. "so he can listen to them. "He bought a Bluetooth shower speaker. "so he can listen to them while he bathes. "We cannot have one conversation. "without him saying something like, 'You know, "this actually reminds me of a Destiny's Child lyric.'.
"He's spent hours watching YouTube tutorials. "learning the choreography from every video. "He makes me sit down and watch him dance in front of the TV. "to make sure his form and timing are perfect. "He emails the members often, begging them for-". - Beyonce? (everyone laughs). - He emails Beyonce regularly, "begging them for a reunion tour. "He has also sent them birthday gifts in the mail. "I would like to point out. "that his obsession is not sexual in any way.
"He just thinks they're really cool. "I'm almost to my wit's end. "I feel like I can't escape Destiny's Child. "and have lost my husband completely to this obsession. "Any advice would be greatly appreciated.". Some comments. "Just wait until he finds out about Beyonce. "in her solo career.". (everyone laughs). "Is this a midlife crisis? "Asking as a nearly 40-year-old man. "It sounds like this is an attempt to reclaim his youth. "Put me down as pro intervention therapy too. "This is a symptom of some larger psychological issue. "he needs to work out.".
Another comment said, "I quickly glanced through the comments. "and didn't see this mentioned. "I would go to the hospital and check for tumors. "One day my cousin had bizarre, obsessive behaviors. "and it turned out he had a large tumor in his brain. "I'm no doctor, but quick changes. "in personality behaviors could always be something medical. "I hope you find peace with this soon. "My thoughts to you.". I'm sorry, I'm laughing a little hard. at them treating it like, "I'm so sorry that you're going through this.". - Yeah. I will say it sounds like we need a resolution. - I love that Reddit has became WebMD.
They're like, "Oh, you like Destiny's Child? "It's cancer!". - So we have an update here. - [Ian] Okay. - He's dead. (everyone laughs). (everyone laughs). - He chased those waterfalls too far. - Damn it. "My husband had an MRI yesterday. "He reluctantly agreed to it. "because he knew I was absolutely terrified and anxious. "No tumor, thank goodness. "Everything was normal.
"He is finally beginning to understand. "how seriously I take this. "and how much of a problem it's become in our marriage. "He has agreed to visit a therapist. "Hoping for the best. "Thank you all for your wonderful advice. "It means the world.". All right, well I think that's a great update. Good for them. And good for him for being, you know, being open. and her like, whatever. - For being a survivor. - Yeah. - I feel like it didn't get the attention. the first time I said it. - No, yeah, it was good. - I will say, that got very serious for such a silly title. Do you think this is this deep.
or do you think this is a little blown out of proportion? Like, this guy just really loves-. - When I discovered Black Pink in 2020, who's to say I didn't do all of these things? (everyone laughs). No, but like /s, /srs? Serious. On a serious note. No, I would be alarmed. - I agree that the sudden change. - Yeah. - It'd be one thing if it's like, oh, he's always been obsessed with Destiny's Child. and he's always been a like a fan of bands and stuff,
but it's just suddenly outta nowhere. And I get that. I think the issue is that there's money involved, and he's spending a lot of money on it. and that's concerning. - I think also like him forcing her to like watch him dance. and like, I'm like, is your husband 14? (everyone laughs). - Is he good? Like, is he good at the dances? - Yeah, I guess that's the question is. if he was really good, maybe she wouldn't have a problem with it. - Yeah. - If he ate, maybe... (Shayne laughs). - All right, next story. "Am I the asshole for being racist and rude.
"because I refuse to try spicy Indian food?". (everyone laughs). Okay. This is a 23-year-old woman. "I absolutely cannot handle spice, "so I avoid Indian cuisine. "My acquaintance, a 22-year-old woman, is Indian. "and invited me to a dinner party at her house. "with a lot of people I am friends with. "When I got there, she tried to offer me some food, "but I declined and told her I couldn't handle spice, "and she took the food back to the kitchen. "Later in the party she came to me.
"with some sort of Indian dessert and asked me to try it. "I was a bit frustrated at this point. "because I already explained that I can't handle spice, "and this dessert, I think she said it was called,". mind you, this is the person who's like, I don't know if they, so this is her thinking of whatever this was. "I think she said it was called jelani or something, "was fried and dripping in red hot oil. "I told her that this dessert looked super spicy, "and that I could not try it. "She insisted that it wasn't spicy.
"But I know that people, "especially those used to eating spicy foods-". - Those? - "Like Indians have vastly different ideas. "of what constitutes spicy. "I said to her that I probably would find it spicy. "and refused again. "She got upset at this and avoided me. "for the rest of the party. "This morning a bunch of friends messaged me. "and said I was being rude by not trying the dessert, "and it was apparently racist of me. "to assume that it would be spicy. "I honestly was just trying. "to protect my sensitive taste buds from a fiery death. "Am I the asshole?".
There's an edit. "A helpful commenter let me know. "that the name of the dessert is called jalebi. "You can search it up to see what I mean. "when I say it is super red, orange, spicy.". So I guess it looks like funnel cake but it's red, and it's just super sweet 'cause it's a dessert. - But it's not spicy? - It's not spicy 'cause it's a dessert. I mean, I guess desserts can be spicy, but this one's obviously not. - Just like nann bread, kind of spicy. (everyone laughs). - Stop. - You know rice?
Pretty spicy. - Samosas? Ha hoo hoo ha! - She wasn't asking questions. - No, she did. She asked questions. Her friend said it wasn't spicy, and she chose not to believe her. - [Spencer] Yeah, yeah. - She's like, "No, no, I know better. "It's definitely spicy.". - I sometimes wonder. if you can't handle any spice how you enjoy food. Like, so much food has some level of spice. Like, is pepper too much for this lady? (everyone laughs). There's some comments here. "You were ignorant. "Not all Indian food is spicy like hot,
"which I presume is your issue. "Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. "I can't handle hot spice, "but we regularly order Indian takeaway. "and eat at Indian restaurants. "The cuisine is immensely flavorful but not all hot. "I avoid spicy dishes and still find plenty of food to love. "One of my favorite dishes is butter chicken, "which is a creamy and not remotely hot curry dish.". - So good. - "You've decided in your mind. "that all Indian food is spicy hot. "That's like eating ice cream. "and deducing that all desserts must be cold. "You're the asshole. "Unless you think sugar is a spice, it is not spicy.
"It's sweet. "The orange color comes from saffron threads. "You can look up the recipe online.". Oh, so this is a thread of comments. "I wonder if this person avoids spaghetti. "in case it's too spicy for her. "Mustn't eat strawberries. "A red bell pepper? "Jesus, are you trying to kill them? "Ketchup for the extreme adventurer.". So have you ever made like a wrongful assumption on food. when you're, I feel like you're a foodie. I feel like you know food really well.
Like, and you would eat, there's nothing that you wouldn't eat, I feel like too. Yeah, I don't feel like we're, I don't feel like I'm like this person. I'm not afraid of spice, so I would never-. - Well, I think, I mean there was a time, there was a moment in my life. where I'd never had Thai food before, so I didn't know what the hell I was looking at. at that point. But when somebody offered it to me, I went, "Yeah, okay, I'll try it.". And it was great. Like, to just be like, "No, no, no, I know Indian food. "I know this entire country's food. "from like one takeout that I had.".
- [Shayne] Right, right. - Yeah, that's where she messed up. But she's 23, whatever. She'll learn. - I hope she does. - I hope she learns. How much do you think it's okay to try to, I mean, for lack of a better word like try to persuade. or convince someone to try something that they haven't tried. that they're hesitant towards? 'Cause like... - I think especially if it's like something that you've made. and it's important to you, then I think you should feel free to pressure somebody.
into trying it. - I'm bad about this. I'm definitely pushy when I want someone to try something, as like if it's like spicy or something, like I get it, but if it's not spicy, yeah, I try and pressure Kiana into eating things. all the time. - [Shayne] Stuff she's allergic to. - Yeah, yeah, I'm like, you gotta try like this drink. or like this, like just like a sip. - Mountain Dew Kickstart. The new Kickstart flavor. Come on. - Yeah, yeah. - I think something, this is obvious, but I think it's a running theme. in a lot of Reddit stories too, is that food means a lot to people.
- Oh yeah. - Like, it's such a big part of culture. and also just even beyond, like it's also just personal to so many people. that like it's important to think about that. when you're declining it, and you can decline it. You're allowed to say no to stuff obviously, but like for her to say, "No, I don't eat any Indian food,". is gonna come off offensive to people. - And for her to say like factually incorrect things. Like, "No, it's spicy.". And she's like, "No, it's not.". (everyone laughs).
- "Yes, it is.". Like, that is frustrating as (beep). So guys, we have a doozy here, but this is apparently legendary. - All right. - So this comes from r/pettyrevenge. - Ooh yes. - Which is some good (beep). For those of you who are unaware, the name says it. It's for revenge stories, but it's stupid silly revenge. "Lie about having COVID to take six weeks off. "while I do your work for free? "I'll throw an all-office party to announce. "where you really were.". - Whoa.
- It sounds like some (beep) I would do. - "Mid pandemic my boss disappeared. "Just as we were gearing up. "for our most challenging time intensive project. "in the last five years, "he dropped off the face of the earth. "We kept working for a week or so without him. "because everything was virtual. "and the virtual work world was still so new, "we didn't really need him. "We were delegating tasks ourselves. "and completing things on our own. "We spoke to coworkers maybe twice a week. "But some decisions were beyond our discretion,
"so we could not move forward on those aspects. "of the project until we received a response from him. "After about seven to 10 total days of silence, "we called his boss's boss who informed our team. "that our boss had COVID so wasn't able to work right now. "We took that at face value of course. "Sent him letters of well wishes. "and didn't bother him with work stuff. "or ask why he was able to notify his boss but not us. "Three weeks go by, still not a word. "We're beginning to discuss amongst ourselves. "whether or not he's maybe dead. "We're terrified and horrified and so concerned.
"We're contemplating calling his extended family. "We're sending flowers and care packages to his apartment. "Meanwhile, the project has descended into chaos. "because no leader was appointed in our boss's stead. "So we are forced to navigate several layers of bureaucracy. "in order to accomplish most anything at all, "whereas in the past he would've just signed off. "in real time. "Around week four or five, "one of our coworkers suggests he doesn't really have COVID. "but is instead using it as an excuse to take time off. "We all jump all over our coworker, "asking how he could insinuate something like that.
"and lamenting about what a tragedy our boss is. "probably living through. "People were chilly to him for days after that. "Week seven, we're-". (everyone laughs). Week number seven. "Week seven, we're undertaking a letter writing campaign. "to upper management demanding an acting boss be appointed. "while ours is recovering. "The project is a month behind schedule. "We're all working overtime every day, "sometimes on weekends without extra compensation. "just to keep up with the cluster fuck. "of the boss's sudden absence.
"Week eight, he finally reappears, "logging into a morning meeting as though nothing happened. "He looks well rested, well fed, and has a tan. "Not at all like someone who's just come out. "of the other side of a six week respiratory virus. "He says something quickly to the effect of, "'Yeah, that was brutal. "'Glad to be better and glad to be back. "'Let's get to work,'. "but doesn't wanna talk about what happened. "to answer any of our questions like, "were you in the hospital? "What was it like? "Et cetera. "Fast forward to about four or five months after this, "my sister sends me a promo for a fairly new reality show.
"I'd never heard of it, but it's on a major platform, "and says, 'Isn't this guy a friend of yours or something? "'I swear I've seen him and you together.'. "I watched the trailer for this show, "and lo and behold, there's my boss participating. "as a contestant on a reality TV show. "It did not take long for me to put the pieces together. "and realize he took extended leave to go on TV. "that he knew he wouldn't otherwise get. "during this massive project. "and lied about it under the guise of a vicious disease. "that nearly all of us had lost a loved one to.
"I sit and stew with this information, "unsure of how to handle it. "I know confronting him won't get me very far, "but I can't just do nothing, right? "I'm not close enough with any of my colleagues. "to discuss this with them. "and trust that they wouldn't run off. "and send an all-company email about it. "So I slept on it a few nights, "and then the opportunity fell right in my lap.". (Ian laughs). "I got got an email from corporate encouraging teams. "still working remotely to plan virtual social functions. "to keep a collegial culture going and to stay in touch. "Among the suggestions were game night, trivia,
"and watch party. "With the premiere of the show only a couple weeks away-". - No way. - "I got busy telling everyone. "how I'd been meaning to get into this show, "and it's so enticing and exciting, "basically laying the groundwork to guilt them. "into coming to an impromptu virtual watch party off hours. "I offered to get special shirts made up. "and send them to each person's house, "whatever I had to do to get the attention of corporate. "Finally, I sent an evite to all my boss's bosses.
"and any other members of corporate I could justify inviting. "without making a total ass of myself. "Because this is entirely virtual, "my boss is unable to overhear any of the chatter. "He doesn't realize I'm hyping up this show, "and he doesn't realize I've planned a watch party for it. "I wasn't inviting him unless he had the balls. "to explicitly ask about it. "I was hoping he wouldn't have heard about it at all, "not until afterwards. "That was really the only way this could work. "The night comes and I am screen sharing the show. "to a whopping 64 people.". (Ian laughs). - "A huge chunk of my department.".
- [Spencer] Yeah. - "Many members of corporate had showed up. "because I was the only person stupid enough. "to buy into their virtual social work party scheme, "so they felt pressured to support it. "I was holding my breath, hoping this would go my way, "bracing myself for some kind of curve ball, "but there wasn't even that dramatic of a buildup. "Right at the outset they introduced the premise, "which included the contestants being in a COVID safe bubble. "in an exotic location. "and gave a brief overview of each contestant. "As my boss was introduced. "right down to what he did for work, "and I could see people register delight and surprise,
"then go blank just before sliding into confusion and rage. "The chat took a drastic turn from, 'Oh my goodness,'. "and 'I knew him when' and all sort of pithy jokes. "to brave member of my team. "or perhaps one just pushed a tad too far. "by all the extra hours he pulled in this douche's absence. "sent the message, 'Wait, when was this filmed?'". (everyone laughs). "My audience dropped from 64 to 58 to mid-30s, "and by the time the episode was over, "it was just me and the other 15 core members of the team.
"One asked if I'd already known, "but some members of the team are very close to the boss, "so all I said was, 'Well, I definitely do now,'. "and wrapped up the call pretty quick after that. "Perhaps one of the best bonuses is. "that you could already tell from episode one. "that the character arc the show assigned. "to our boss was bumbling idiot.". (Spencer laughs). "He had his true colors on in full display. "and some production massaging upped them. "to the 11th degree. "Boss was fired. "My good buddy was promoted to his place.
"I am an office legend now, "especially since no one is 100% sure. "whether or not it was intentional. "And it was all so satisfying. "that it was almost worth the dozens of hours. "of uncompensated overtime that led to it.". There's an edit. "Title should be eight weeks. "I kept not factoring in the first couple weeks. "because we weren't suspicious or burdened. "until the final six.". Wow. (Ian and Spencer applaud). This guy really is stupid. because he knew they were gonna have to find out eventually.
It's a reality TV show. - It's like, look, even if the whole thing isn't true, it's an incredible story. It's an incredible yarn of petty revenge. - I believe this. I think this is real. - Yeah. - Like, I think yeah, someone could be stupid enough to go on a reality show. Like, how long could one of us go on a reality show without-. - People are so-. - Like, there's so many reality shows. - If someone who worked at Smosh went on a reality TV show, they'd have to be very stupid. - Really stupid. (crew laughs). Just so dumb. - No, I agree.
with like the stupidity of the person for doing that, but like if, you know, if they hadn't told us, like would we know? - Yeah. No, we would've known. - I think the thing is like some people are so blinded. by the idea of fame that they'll just, they're willing to push anything aside in their life. to try to get that. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Yeah, those reality shows you have to stay so, even if you're like voted off immediately, like Mari, she went on "Survivor,". and she had to like stay hidden for like two months.
without any kind of contact to the point. where I remember somebody called her husband, Peter, and was like, "Oh, where's Mari?". And he just said, "She's gone.". (everyone laughs). And they're like, "What do you mean?". And he said like, "Gone, gone.". And like not thinking that's made it sound like she's dead. - "Gone Girl.". Obviously Rachel was on "The Circle.". And I remember like she, but that took like weeks of her preparing everyone for like, "Oh, I'm going to do this.".
She still like did some work. - Yeah, no, she was not supposed to have a phone, and she was definitely texting all of us. (everyone laughs). - Obviously Rachel went and did a reality show, but she informed everyone. - [Spencer] Yeah. - That she'd be leaving. - She told her team. - Yeah, she didn't say that she had COVID. - And it's, that's really, that's the most messed up part. because that was like the early days. of COVID it sounds like. - It sounds like this is really like-. - Like, really before we kind of understood, not that we totally understand it now, but like-. - It just makes me so mad. - It's really (beep) to take advantage. of something like that.
- [Ian] Yeah. - So the comments did some detective work, and they agree the show is likely "F Boy Island.". Which is a surprisingly good show. (everyone laughs). And that premiered July, 2021. So that means this was 2020 when he went and filmed this, and that's in the heart of it. - But that was like-. - And it's also for "F Boy Island.". But also he sounds like a total idiot. Like, and the fact that his arc was that he was the idiot. amongst all the men on "F Boy Island.".
- Yeah, ooh. - He was the most dumb. Impressive. Someone said-. - And to think he was a manager. - Yeah, well yeah, he was a boss somehow. "This isn't petty. "It's at least pro, possibly nuclear. "Well done.". I agree. This is beyond petty. This person-. - This is professional revenge. - This is the Ocean's 11 of getting your boss fired. - Incredible. - Have you ever caught anyone in a lie this big? - I'm trying to think like if anyone's. just like lied about something to that degree.
- What would you do if you found out. that someone you were working for did this? - Oh, the moment, if I have found that out, like this person had the like the wonderful ability. to like have patience and just sit on it and plot. Whereas like me, the moment that trailer hit, I would've been just slacking everyone being like, "Yo, what the hell?" - Agreed, yeah, same. - Oh yeah. - This is calculation.
- This shows real resolve. - And this is not, this is not, yeah. I do not possess this tact. - The OP responded to some people with some more context. "Did you and your team apologize to the team member. "that you quasi ghosted?". Oh, 'cause there's the one guy who was like, "Guys, I don't think he has COVID.". And they're like, "(beep) you, Daniel.". - Yeah, he called it. - He was the conspiracy theorist. - Yeah, he was way ahead of them. They said, "Absolutely. "They devoured the watch party, "are still saying, 'I told you so,'. "and it's understood that we now all owe him favors.
"I think he also understands to a degree. "that we sincerely believed the guy had COIVD at the time. "and it was still very raw. "Many of us suffered direct losses from COVID, "so there aren't hard feelings on either side.". With that context too, like that guy obviously he's so dumb and so self-centered, he probably just, when people told him like, "Oh yeah, I lost someone to COVID," or like, "Yeah, I'm going through some serious family turmoil. "because of COVID," he probably was like... (Spencer laughs). Didn't really register it. But to use that lie amongst people who are going through, I mean- - Do you think,
do you think production maybe recommended. that he used the COVID excuse? - Hollywood, man. - You think his bosses, what I'm shocked about is that the bosses above him, it feels like were bad at their job. of making the system keep going. They just-. - That was like, if your work falls apart that badly. from one person going away, then it's like you need some, and if like after a week or two. and like there's no solution, it's like, yeah, please. - My conspiracy is that people in higher ups.
at corporate knew, and they were just kind of like... - Oh, I think you were-. - [Shayne] You just said that. - No, he was suggesting like the people-. - Production. The "F Boy Island" people suggested. that he used that as an excuse. - That's very possible. Oh, I mean, reality show producers, they don't give a (beep). Like, why would they care? "Did he just not realize that he was going to be on TV? "See, this is the part I really don't understand either, "and have spent a considerable amount of time. "trying to game out. "Best I can figure it, he assumed it wasn't a popular show. "or maybe someone would potentially say, "'I saw a guy you work with on the show,'.
"and he hoped whichever boss heard it wouldn't follow up. "but that in all likelihood it just wouldn't be popular. "enough to get seen, "or, and this is what my coworkers all think, "that he figured he'd have plenty of time. "to figure out a decent excuse and either didn't. "or he tried whatever excuse he'd prepared and it flopped. "But I personally never underestimate hubris. "and definitely haven't ruled out his crossing his fingers. "no one would ever find out or he'd outsmart them.". My theory is that he thinks he would get famous enough. that he would be able to just leave this job. - Yeah, exactly. Like, I bet he thought like either nobody sees it.
and I can continue with my job. or I get famous and I just quit my job, get those brand sponsorships. - I think people outside of LA, they think that like when you go on a reality show, I mean, certainly me growing up outside of LA, I would think like if you went on a reality show, like that's it. Like, you're famous now. Like, you don't really have to do anything else. Like, you don't come back down from that. But living in LA you see people. who have gone on reality shows. but like also work jobs. The show did not change them at all.
- I don't think those reality shows pay much anything. And then yeah, it doesn't sustain for long. Like, you'll-. - Unless you're on "The Bachelor.". - But you have to be like a particular, you have to like either be absolutely insane. or you have to win to like-. - You have to be like a star already. Like, a star within the show. A star on a show that is a star show. - 99% of reality show contestants. just go back to being regular ass people after. So he got paid at his job while he was going.
and doing this reality TV show. - Probably. At least a certain amount of time. - That's (beep) up. - Sick leave. - At least for some of those weeks. while he was doing a reality show on an island somewhere. with a bunch of hot people, he was getting paid for the work. that he wasn't doing. - I haven't seen the show. Is it all dudes just hanging out? Is it like this? Are we on "F Boy Island" right now? - We're what "F Boy Island" looks like. All right, let's move on. - Okay. - That was great. "Am I the asshole for suggesting my seven-year-old name. "his new stuffed tiger Tig Bitties?".
(Ian laughs). "Pretty much the title.". (Spencer laughs). "My son won a stuffed tiger at the fair last night, "and he said he had named him Tig. "He asked me what its last name should be. "I couldn't help myself. "and just instantly replied, 'Bitties.'. "Then I turned to my wife to share a smirk.". (everyone laughs). "But she was pissed.". - Of course it's a guy. - The old ball and chain. (everyone laughs). - "But she was pissed. "and quickly suggested a few different names.
"But my son insisted that he liked Bitties, "so now his tiger is Tig Bitties. "My wife thinks it was completely inappropriate. "I think it was a silly joke that went over his head. "and will have no negative ramifications.". - Famous last words. - I think we're the wrong audience. - Yeah, we're the wrong. We're all like, damn, that's great! - That's brilliant. Yeah, we're not the right audience to answer this question. - [Spencer] Like, man, that's awesome. - You think it would be okay like. if you had a kid or nieces or nephews to like-. - No, no, it's your kid.
- If it's an inappropriate joke that goes over their head, is it okay? - Well, it's like that kid that says, "Fire (beep)". You know? It's like you know what he's saying. - Or it's like the kid who asked to see the cats, and he goes in the people's house, he's like, "Let me see your titties.". (everyone laughs). - I wanna see your titties. My brother wouldn't be able to say truck. and he would say (beep). And my grandma would so often be like, "Oh Brian, what's that?". (everyone laughs). She was stoked about it. - I mean, what are kids for if not to like make us laugh? (everyone laughs).
- They're just for entertainment, right? They're just to be, they're just jokes. - Not the asshole. - I would argue if it's not appropriate to make jokes. that go over kids' heads, then "Shrek" is a (beep) up movie. 'cause that has so much (beep) that goes over kids' heads. - I think parents, I think you would just go insane. if you weren't allowed to like, you know, like toy with your kids a little bit. - I guess fear is if he has a stuffed tiger. that he loves that's named Tig Bitties, I feel the issue that's gonna come up is his friends.
and other parents are gonna find that out. - People are-. - But Tig Bitties is really not like-. - He's not going around saying, "I love Tig Bitties," to all-. - No, he's probably telling people he loves Tig Bitties. - Well, you know. - "Hey teacher, I gotta be honest with you.". (everyone laughs). "I really love Tig Bitties.". (everyone laughs). "I (beep) love Tig Bitties.". Hey, don't say Tig Bitties. (laughs). The verdict on Reddit was that he's not the asshole. - Yeah. - Yeah, all right. Let's go, boys. - But Reddit's gonna side-.
- The verdict, divorce. (everyone laughs). - The verdict, you gotta get divorced 'cause she's lame. This next one is from Off My Chest. - I was gonna make a tig bitties joke. (everyone laughs). - Get these tig bitties off my chest! - So to Off My Chest, I named my tiger Big Titties. (everyone laughs). I just said big titties. (everyone laughs). - Oh! (everyone laughs).
(beep). - "I made my girlfriend cry for admitting. "that my best friend is more attractive than her.". - Jesus Christ. - Oh man. Is this "Love Is Blind" season three? - God damn. - Plot twist, his best friend's a guy. - I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. That the guy who just kept talking. about how hot one of the other contestants was. - [Ian] Yeah, yeah. - This guy is dumb. (everyone laughs). Before I even read this, this guy's dumb. Okay. It's a 25 year old guy.
"I've been dating my girlfriend who's 24. "for almost a year now. "Before we became official, "we were friends for at least four years. "Other than my girlfriend, the second most important person. "in my life is my best friend. "who's also a 24 year old woman. "We've been best friends for more than a decade, "and she's been there for me for all my lowest points. "I literally would not have survived this long without her. "Our relationship is purely platonic. "I admit that I've had a crush on her before, "but we both admitted that it would be better for us. "to stay as best friends and that was that.
"She isn't the stereotype girl best friend either. "She's just my best friend who just so happens to be female. "She respects boundaries, "and I'd like to believe that she genuinely. "just sees me as a friend and vice versa. "We've been each other's support systems for a long time. "and even trust each other more than our own parents. "Recently my girlfriend asked me if I think she's prettier, "more attractive than my best friend. "For context, "my best friend is a successful fashion model influencer. "She looks like your typical model influencer. "Tall, slender, clear skin.
"While my girlfriend is honestly short, quite chubby, "and has a lot of acne.". Oh (beep) man. (everyone laughs). - "My girlfriend's a total uggo.". (everyone laughs). - "Look just between me and you, Reddit.". (everyone laughs). - "I love my girlfriend, I really do. "She has social anxiety. "and thus sometimes goes for long periods of time. "without contacting me. "But I've never once felt any-". - "She's also kinda stinky.". (everyone laughs). - "But I've never once felt any doubt or temptation to cheat.
"or find someone else. "I accept and love her as she is. "When she asked that question, "I answered that yes, I believe my best friend is prettier, "more attractive than her. "I mean, come on. "My girlfriend is a normal girl. "and my best friend literally gets paid. "and receives lots of free stuff solely for her looks. "She got offended and started crying. "She hasn't talked to me in a while either. "I don't understand why she's acting that way. "I mean, the answer was obvious, "but it doesn't make me love her any less. "I clearly chose to date her instead of other women. "I accept her as a whole package.
"I told my friend about my answer and she slapped me. "Now she's been on my ass to make it right. "Was I expected to very blatantly lie to my girlfriend? "Wouldn't it have been worse if it wasn't honest? "Anyone with eyes could clearly see. "who is the more attractive one.". - [Ian] Bro. - "Wouldn't it be a slap to her. "to just lie to her face that way? "I don't get why I have to be the bad guy. "in this situation.". (everyone laughs). - There's a lot of things to cover in this. - [Spencer] Where to begin? - This is definitely a real story from a real Redditor. - This is a real story. - A man did this.
- This is giving hard Reddit. - I also will be straight up, I think this (beep) happens a lot. - I guarantee you his friend is the one. that set the friend boundaries. Like, there's like-. - Oh yeah. - This guy sounds like he's-. - Oh, it sounds like-. - If he ever had the chance, he would jump on that. - What I think is sad is it. just feels like he also respects his friend. more than his girlfriend by a lot. Like, it just sounds like he's, the way he's talking about her goes beyond just like, oh yeah, she's obviously pretty. It just sounds like he thinks she's better. - He didn't say like a single nice thing about his-.
- His girlfriend, no. Like, it was really devastating. - He's like, "I love her, but she sucks, man.". (everyone laughs). - "I love her, but she's ah, she's gross.". - Was it the girlfriend that asked? - The girlfriend asked him. - [Ian] Okay. - "Recently my girlfriend asked me. "if I think she's prettier, more attractive. "than my best friend.". That makes me also believe what we're talking about, which is that she obviously probably can tell. that he's attracted to his best friend. - Yeah, yeah. - Because that question, it does sound like he was saying she's insecure,
but I don't think it's necessarily that... A theory is that she's not an insecure person. She's insecure about his relationship with her. because it is weird. - I'm imagining like if I had a girlfriend. and she had a handsome male friend and I asked her like, "Hey, do you think he's hotter than me?". Like, what do you, like, what can you realistically expect from like-. - I don't think it's a fair question to ask. - I don't think it's a fair question, but yeah, I don't think like-. - There's probably a reason why she asked that question. - That's what I mean. She asked it 'cause there was already weird signs,
and I think he probably-. - And I wonder if she even phrased it like that. Like, maybe she asked something like, "Are you attracted to her like more than me?". And it's like that's a different like, 'cause, you know, someone can be like prettier. but like, you know, you're not as attracted to them. - Right, and that's what his answer should have been. Which should be the truth. If he's in a relationship, it should be like, "Dude, I fucking, I am so attracted to you. "Like, there's no one that I'm more into than you.". That's the answer. But he went and said, "Well no, obviously.".
- "No, she's hot as (beep) bro.". - "(beep) look at her.". - "Look at her.". - "She gets paid just for her face.". - It's just something that caught my eye too was, "She has social anxiety and thus sometimes goes. "for long periods of time without contacting me.". - Yeah, why'd you throw under the bus like that, man? - [Ian] It's giving a lot of red flags. - This just sounds like a relationship. that shouldn't be happening. I don't think there-. - You think so? - I think she should break up with him. - [Spencer] Yeah. - 'Cause there's no way, there's no way, after something like that is said, I think that is so hard to come back from. Like, that is gonna have the same impact on her.
as cheating on her. 'Cause it's him saying, "Oh, this person's better than you.". I mean, you kind of already said it. What would you do. if your partner asked this question to you? Like, if you were dating someone and they said, "Hey, do you think-". - I think I'd be kind of dumbfounded. Like, I don't think like, I think now like being separated from it, I could be like, "Well, I'm more attracted to you.". Like, you know, if I had time to kind of calculate an answer. but like realistically, if someone asked me that point blank, I would freeze up. I wouldn't know. - There's only one solution.
You only date tens. (everyone laughs). - Some comments. "25 years old is way too old to not understand. "how dumb that is.". (everyone laughs). - I disagree. I mean... - Someone said, "I think you're confusing hottest with attractiveness. "I think it's safe to say your best friend is hot, "but attractiveness depends on the person. "So you should always be more attracted to your girlfriend. "than your friend. "Who describes their girlfriend as short, quite chubby, "and has a lot of acne? "Like Jesus, that's brutal.
"If my partner described me like that, "there would be a problem.". Okay, there's an update. "I was able to talk to her. "She apparently told other people about the situation. "and everyone including her own mother sides with me.". - Bull (beep). Bull (beep). - Maybe she has a bad support system. - "She shouldn't have been asking me questions like that. "when the answer was obvious.". (crew laughs). - Bruh, this guy. - Oh my god! - "Guys, she apologized for even asking that question. "in the first place.
"To everyone saying I should have broken up with her, "we're good. "I'm feeling very betrayed by my best friend.". - Oh good. - "Instead because it's clear whose side she took. "She's the only one who took my girlfriend's side. "Most of the people we know are also upset at her. "These are people who actually know us. "and the relationship.". Oh my god, what the (beep). - I wanna meet these people so bad. - When I see (beep) like that, I'm like, oh, this is how people like Elon Musk exist. Like, really. Like, I'm just like, this guy just got that solidified. He's 25 now.
He's gonna be like that forever. - Yeah. - I just don't believe this update. I just don't. - Yeah, oh, are you thinking? He's like, "Oh, well (beep) you guys. "Actually everyone said that I'm cool.". - That's what I think happened. - "Everyone said that I'm (beep) cool and I'm great. "So all right.". - "And actually I'm having a threesome.". - "Yeah, I'm gonna have so many threesomes. "I'm so tired. "Come on, Tig Bitties.". (everyone laughs). - This is from Today I (beep) Up, which is a-. - Oh, I used to go on that one all the time. - This is a personal favorite of mine.
This is great. "Today I (beep) up by thinking my son was having gay sex. "when he was just eating hummus.". (everyone laughs). - To be fair. - To be fair. So I've never had gay sex, but I've had hummus. (everyone laughs). "So I, a 39-year-old woman, have a son who's 15, "and he brought a friend around today. "They immediately went to their room, "and I assumed they would just play some video games. "or whatever, so I was totally fine leaving them. "It was about 30 minutes in when I was walking past, "I heard sounds such as, 'Oh my god, that's so good,'.
"and, 'It's so good with that in it,'. "and various 'mmh' sounds.". (everyone laughs). - [Spencer] Let's see how chill the mom was. - There's no other way to eat hummus! "It really sounded like they were having gay sex. "I was super weirded out by it.". - It's just sex. - "So I quickly went downstairs. "and waited for his friend to leave. "When this friend left, an hour or two later, "I asked my son what they were doing in his room. "because although I don't mind him being gay,
"and I think it's-". (Spencer laughs). "And I know it's normal for teenagers to have sex, "a condom really should have been used. "So I plan to confront him about that. "However, the answer shocked me to my very core. "They weren't having sex, they were eating hummus. "I was shocked and initially didn't believe it. "We had never had hummus before, and I asked him to-". (everyone laughs). - Does this overlap with the girl. that doesn't eat spicy food? - "We had never had hummus before, "and I asked him to show me the hummus if this was true.". - Show me! - Show me the hummus! "So he did, and I ate hummus for the first time,
"and oh my god, it wasn't good." (laughs). - It wasn't good? - What? - No, no. "So he did, and I ate hummus for the first time, "and oh my god, was it good.". - What? - Where does it rank compared to gay sex? (everyone laughs). - "We experimented with different things in it. "like bread and carrots, and it was great. "Apparently his friend had heard about. "how he had never had hummus before. "and thought this was so absurd. "so had planned a date for a hummus party. "So yeah, it ended up being quite a good ending. "I discovered how nice hummus was.
"Thought my friend was having gay sex. "He just really liked hummus.". - What if they had hummus and then (beep). - So guys, I wanna remind you. that this is also best of Redditor updates. - [Ian] Oh boy, here we go. - [Shayne] So I don't know what's going. - Can I point, I wonder if when, so she thought they're having gay sex, and then the friend walks- - [Shayne] Can we. just say sex? - No, it was gay sex. (everyone laughs). So the friend walked out of the room, right?
And she's like, "Hey, how are you?". And he's like, "Oh, I'm stuffed.". (everyone laughs). All right. - Things people say after sex. "Whoa. "Oh.". - "Wow, I am so sexed.". (crew laughs). Comments were, "Oh, I see you got hit by the emergency hummus.". (everyone laughs). - No, hummus. - Were you guys having sex? Ah... Ah! "I always kept open hummus inside my closet. "from when I was having sex with my friends. "You never know when you might get caught.
"Lady for real just fell for the old hummus trick.". (everyone laughs). - The oldest trick in the book. - Okay, here's the update. - Okay. Oh boy. Here we go. - [Shayne] Oh god. - Here we go. - "So yeah, the majority of you were right, "they were having sex.". (everyone laughs). - Yes! Let's go! - Good for him. - No, no, no. Not sex. Let's say it all together. Gay- - Hummus. (everyone laughs). - "I did think it sounded like it.". (Spencer laughs).
"They ate some hummus first.". (Spencer gasps). "Then put it away, didn't do anything at the same time. "like some of you freaks suggested, and then had sex. "My son's boyfriend, I think their boyfriends, "saw the post and couldn't stop laughing.". (everyone laughs). "So told my son thinking it could be about them who told me. "because I think he felt a bit guilty about hiding it. "Other than that, nothing really exciting happened. "We had a long awkward talk. "I told him I don't really endorse him having sex, "but he should really use a condom, et cetera.
"Now onto the more important thing, hummus.". (everyone laughs). "I really like hummus now. "I'd never had it before. "because it just looked kind of disgusting. "Yellow and sludgy. "But I have learnt appearances can be deceiving. "It was homemade, so I'm going to have to ask for the recipe. "so I can make some more. "I've finished all of it. "Also, what are some other good things to dip in it? "I've tried the obvious things. "Carrot, cucumber, breads. "And any suggestions would be appreciated. "A lot of people have recommended baba ganoush as well. "Is that similar and better than hummus?".
- Oh my god. - I love baba ganoush, and I've made it myself. You throw some eggplant in your oven. Oh my god, baba ganoush. - I just have to say it's a little strange. that she's more accepting of hummus than her son having sex. - No, she was chill. She was chill. - She was chill with it. She just said like please use a condom. He's 15. I think it's more just like, oh, like please, like, you know, you're young. Like, don't... "TLDR, my son is actually gay, "but I also really like hummus.". - That's incredible. I love that. - Who among us. (Shayne laughs). - I just...
See, this is how you should react. when you find a new food you'd never had before. - Yeah. - Yeah. Have you ever covered up something you were doing. with a blatant lie or anything like that? Did your parents ever catch you. or almost catch you doing anything? - I don't think I was ever caught. I was not intimate with many people when I was young. But my bed was far too squeaky to get into anything anyway. - It was the bed. It was the squeaky bed. - It was the bed. That's why I didn't have sex. - I can safely say.
that throughout my teenage years I had zero hummus. (everyone laughs). - But my boys. - All right, here's the next story. Okay, this is totally gonna be very different. - Okay. - Okay. - So buckle up. This comes from r/amitheasshole. and also was reposted on r/amithedevil, which is where the worst of the worst end up. "Am I the asshole for impersonating my sister. "during a traffic ticket and getting a felony?". (crew laughs).
- Maybe. - What? - "I was driving and unfortunately speeding. "when I zoomed past a cop who came out of nowhere, "and of course he hit his lights to signal me to pull over. "I knew I was in hot water. "because I sadly get pulled over for speeding often.". Then stop. - [Ian] Yeah. - "I didn't know what it is. "But once I have the music on and the top off in my zone, "I tend to go in my own world and sing and vibe, "which often turns into need for speed, "fast and furious edition, "and I ignore traffic obligations and speed limits.".
- Then you shouldn't drive. - [Shayne] Why are you writing this out? - Need for speed, fast and furious? What is this? - "Look, I can't help it, the music comes on. "and I just have to speed.". - She should be arrested for saying, "need for speed, fast and furious edition.". - Everyone knows it was Forza. that had the fast and furious collab. - "Most of the time I make it without getting pulled over. "But when the cop stopped me, I panicked. "because I knew I had several warrants. "for previous violations I had not taken care of. "So when he came to the window. "and asked for my insurance and license, "I lied and said I left my purse at home. "and verbally gave him my sister's name and date of birth.
"as my identity because we look just alike. "And I knew once he ran her name, "it would come back clean and I would be free to go. "If I would've given him my real information, "it was a huge chance I would've been taken to jail. "and my car impounded, "and I was on my way to school for finals. "and just couldn't risk it. "So long story short, I gave him my sister's information. "and he wrote out a few tickets and was free to go. "Well, fast forward a few months later, "my sister is notified somehow. "that she has an outstanding warrant.
"She doesn't understand how or when. "I completely forgot I used her name, "so I didn't think anything of it when she was venting. "until she called my mom from the police precinct. "and said she went to appeal the citations. "and they showed her a body cam photo and it was me. "Well, she decided to file charges against me.". - Oh. - Multiple exclamation marks. "I apologized. "and told her I would pay off the traffic tickets. "and explained even though I was completely wrong, "the reasoning behind my actions. "and how it was the end of the semester and final testing.". More exclamation marks.
"I apologized, and I know it was a stupid mistake, "but she still gave them my information. "and pointed me out on a statement. "as the person impersonating her. "and defrauding the officer during the traffic stop. "Well, now I have a court date for two felonies. "for identity theft and fraud. "I know I was in the wrong, "but my sister did not have to press charges. "and ruin my life before it has even begun. "I am the first person in my family to get into college, "and this will ruin everything. "Two felonies. "I feel like she took the situation too far,
"even though she has a good reason to be upset. "But wow. "Now my mom, dad, and brother are not speaking to her. "unless she drops the charges. "I am the youngest and she the oldest. "and sometimes feels she has to be stern or correct me. "because she feels I get spoiled or special treatment. "But these are serious crimes that will be on my record. "and not equivalent to what I deserve. "Am I the asshole or my sister?". I can't believe the family. - Is she in high school? 'Cause she says her finals. and she's the first person to get into college.
- Oh my god, then yeah, she's probably like 18 or 19. and she already has so many warrants and shit. - Well, maybe it's finals for college. - Yeah, it could be college. - She's in college, yeah, yeah. - I think she could be in college. A lot of people were thinking that this is a troll post. - This doesn't feel insane to me. - It doesn't give me the vibe of a troll post. - I have kind of a hot take. I think, I mean, I would plead to my sister. to drop the charges like, but I would, because I mean it is gonna kind of ruin her life.
Like, it's a dumb, it's a-. - The family is siding with her. - Yeah, no, and the family like, the family like taking a side is (beep) up for sure. - I don't know. I guess I understand where the family's coming from. I'm not defending them. I'm saying they understand that. oh, once she has these two felonies-. - Yeah, it's gonna ruin her life. - Because it is (beep) up how America works. where it's like once you have felonies you just can't work. Like, you really are kind of screwed. So I get that. And she's very young,
so it's like that's putting a kibosh on her life. - This definitely does seem like somebody that doesn't think. that there's consequences for their actions though. - Yeah, and the felonies are for identity theft and fraud, which are in the sister's hands too. It's not the traffic tickets and stuff, so... - But I wonder if like the sister. just like has been like forced. to kind of eat shit her whole life from the younger sister. - She sounds spoiled. - [Spencer] Yeah. - She does sound spoiled. - Yeah, she's like, "Oh, I've got like four tickets, "and like, you know, sometimes I just drive fast. "I can't help, it's unfortunate.".
- Maybe what could be happening, 'cause there's no updates or anything, there's a part of me that thinks if you're an older sister. and your younger sister did this, your younger sibling, of taking it all the way to court, getting very far, and then being like, "All right, I'll drop the charges.". - Yeah, that's big sister behavior. - Like, that, that's cold. But if, you know, it's like, "I'm not gonna (beep) up your entire life, "but I'm going to (beep) ruin you for a couple months.". Like, you could do that. - It's gonna teach her, I hope it teaches her a lesson. - [Shayne] I would think so. - They're never gonna recover from that. I think that, well, I think that like lying.
to a police officer and like, and, you know, would that be considered fraud or whatever. Like, I don't think it's really up to the, I don't know if that's up to the sister. - Yeah, someone said, "The sister kind of did have to press charges. "because she had to agree it wasn't her, "and it's her moral duty to tell them. "who actually committed the crime since it's possible. "And the cops pressed charges not her," so... - But it still sounds like the family. like is kind of making it seem like there is a choice. for her to drop the charges.
- Yeah, that's true. The family's making it sound-. - I think we have to treat it-. - If she lied to an officer, then that's the state taking her. - And now that it's already, she's already gone to the cops and been like, yeah, it's not, and it's like clear that it's not, they probably can see the sister and be like, yeah, oh, that's actually her. "Plus by the time they pulled the body cam footage. "from the event, it probably would've been out of her hands. "by that point, "and she will have limited say in how it goes. "I'm sure the US has similar, "but this type of crime in the UK would be called attempting. "to prevent the court of justice,
"and they take that sort of thing really seriously. "as it's viewed as an attack of sorts. "on our justice system.". Yeah. That's just throwing a family member. under the bus like that is (beep). - She was definitely the asshole for doing that initially. - [Shayne] Yeah. - I just hope that a lesson can be learned. - Moving on. The next one comes from Am I The Asshole. "I, a 20-year-old man, feel like I'm too short. "to date anyone and it's been rather difficult.". - Oh no. - Why did you, why did you-. (Shayne laughs).
Why'd you pull this one, Kiana? - Yeah? Why is this story specific for the one that-. - I just want to let the record state that I'm not short. - Then why were you on our tier list? - That's why you're a C. (Spencer laughs). - On the tier list? - [Shayne] On the tier list. - All right, thank you. - "This is a throwaway, "and I mean this in the most respectful way possible. "My friend is 6'1" and he works out regularly, "but respectfully, he doesn't look good at all face wise.". (Spencer laughs). - He is short, chubby and has acne. (everyone laughs). - My other friend is way hotter.
(Spencer laughs). "But he seems to do really good with girls. "They're always all over him and stuff. "Because of his genetics, "he comes across as confident, smooth, suave, and funny. "But when I do it, it doesn't work.". (Spencer laughs). "Objectively, I know I have a better face than him, "but I don't seem to get any attention. "I mean this respectfully. "I'm 5'3" and I've tried getting girls below my league. "and even that doesn't work. "What can I do here? "TLDR, I feel I'm too short to date.".
- Did he say his friend was funny. and that had something to do with his genes? - 'Cause he's tall. - Think of how funny Adam Sandler is. It's 'cause he's tall. - But he's not saying. he's actually funny. He says, "Because of his genetics," because he's tall, "he comes across as confident, smooth, suave, and funny.". - Or maybe he just is. - "But when I do it, it doesn't work. "Objectively, I know I have a better face than him, "but I don't seem to get any attention. "I mean this respectfully. "I'm 5'3" and I've tried getting girls below my league.
"and even that doesn't work. "What can I do here?". - He should (beep) his friend. (crew laughs). - Yeah. - Maybe get some of that confidence. Yeah, I think addressing people as like below your league, that's indicative of a bigger problem. - Yeah, I think it's very clear what the issue is. probably with this guy. I think he's probably extremely bitter, and it comes across immediately. when he is talking to people. - I think he should probably get off Reddit. and work on himself.
- Yeah. Comments. "The fact that he wrote respectfully three times. "in such a short story means he's not. "really all that respectful.". (Spencer laughs). "Oof, it's definitely not his height holding him back.". Yeah, it's pretty clear. - He's just a little guy. - Just a little guy. - Just a little guy. - Just a little guy. - See, if he leaned into that, you know? - Yeah, maybe if he got a hat with all those pinwheels. - Hey, what, I'm just a little guy. - He just needs to stop. I think the issue, I mean, look, we talked about some of this stuff in short king tier list, but like it seems also that this guy has just,
he probably so much of his identity. and so much of his life purpose is dating and like... - And the friend. Why did he spend half the thing on the friend? - Yeah, like I think he's so obsessed with that. If he just like lived his own life. and just tried to do his own thing. and have fun and be chill, I think he'd have more luck. But every conversation he probably has with a woman, he's probably thinking about his height, and it's probably just (beep) him up. And he is bitter and disrespectful. - My favorite part of these is like. kind of reading the language that they use.
and like getting the clues from that. - Oh, it's always clear. - [Ian] Yeah. - Every guy when they post on Am I The Asshole, they always have a tell somewhere along the line. They say female too much. Something like that. Or they call their girlfriend short. Okay. "Am I the asshole for wanting to postpone my wedding. "'til my fiance gets rid of his braces?". - Huh. Okay. - [Shayne] Aw. - [Ian] Okay. - Okay. "My fiance, a 25-year-old man, has braces.
"He refused to get them when he was a child, teen. "'cause he feared people would make fun of him. "But he finally accepted to get them. "after the dentist told him clearly. "that it wouldn't be recommended. "to replace his extracted teeth. "'til he fixes his crooked ones. "The issue is that our wedding was supposed. "to be coming up soon, but now I plan to postpone it. "'til my fiance gets rid of his braces. "I have nothing against him wearing braces. "I even encouraged him to get them. "to finally fix his bad teeth. "But did you ever see a groom wearing braces. "in his wedding photos? "I don't think so. "I thought my fiance would be understanding,
"but instead he got mad at me. "and accused me of being ashamed of him. "That's obviously not true. "I just want our wedding photos to be. "as aesthetically pleasing as possible. "and that's why I wanna postpone our wedding. "'til his braces come off. "I also told him he could have avoided all of this. "if he got invisible braces, "but he said those were much more expensive. "and wanted to save money specifically. "for our wedding and honeymoon. "and didn't think his fiancee would be so shallow. "to care about it. "He ended up saying that if I postpone the wedding now, "I might as well just call it off altogether.".
- Whoa. - "Which I think is incredibly unfair of him to do. "Maybe I should have insisted on this issue either.". Or shouldn't have. I don't know what she meant to say by that. Wow. - I have something, my parents when they got married, my dad had braces. And I will say he looked goofy as hell in those pictures. (everyone laughs). He looked very silly. - Should she have postponed it? - But also like what our parents got married. in like what the 80s? - It was the 80s. - They look goofy as hell anyway, and that's how we're all gonna look too. - No, and I look at the pictures,
and I'm like, "Wow, that's so funny.". Like, to me it's such a non-issue. But I think maybe the poster could have worded it. a little more carefully with the husband. If they came at it in a way that made the husband say like, "We might as well just call it off,". like, I wonder about that dynamic. It feels a little like, you know, it feels like tensions were running high. For anyone to say, "Then we might as well call the wedding off,". like my non-confrontational ass, I'd be like, "Okay, okay.
"Like, fine. "Like, it's off. "I'm sorry.". - So a little bit of context. Someone asked, "When was the wedding planned. "and for how much longer does he need to wear the braces? "Also, have you already set up the wedding date, venue, "put down any money, et cetera?". They replied, "I booked a venue for a specific date. "for this spring since last year, "but I plan to cancel and book it on the same date. "in the next year. "Hopefully he wouldn't need braces 'til then.". So she's postponing it a year. That's a lot. - Why don't you just yassify your wedding photos?
- Yeah, just Photoshop that (beep) bro. - You actually realistically can do that nowadays. Yeah, make him teethless. "He should postpone the wedding until you mature. "You're the asshole.". - Whoa. (Spencer laughs). - "This poor guy avoided getting braces. "because he was afraid of being bullied. "and here he is being bullied by his own fiancee. "because aesthetics.". - Yep. - [Shayne] "You're the asshole, OP. "Your fiance deserves better.". - Might as well just shove her at that point. - The verdict on Reddit was asshole. - I think it's all about like, how, I mean, for some people the wedding pictures are.
so (beep) important. - Yeah. - And like, look, it's not me, like I can't relate to this at all, but like if it is really what they want, they could ask their partner to postpone the wedding, but to like dictate then it's, you know, it could be a conversation. but it sounds like it wasn't a conversation. - It sounds like she approached it poorly. I mean, if I'm putting myself in this guy's shoes, I don't think I would be bothered. I really don't.
'Cause I'd be like, oh yeah, like sure, like that-. - Well, I'm not nerd. I would never have adult braces. - But to postpone your wedding for a year. just because of braces? - Is crazy. But they are 25. Look, I'm not defending it. I'm just saying. I mean, weddings are expensive. So is it okay to be shallow for once. in a lifetime type of event like this? I mean, you know, I don't know. I know a lot of people are very particular about weddings. But as we said, it's a whole year, and like, it's very specifically like, I'm postponing this wedding for a year.
because of something that you have. - I mean, maybe I'm just thinking of COVID times, but I feel like people were postponing weddings a lot. - And just so we're clear, like for a good venue, which I assumed since she cares so much and everything, it's typically at least five figures. Like, it's not cheap. Weddings are notoriously so expensive. So they've already booked this venue. and they're gonna cancel it and then pick another one, spending more money. I'm kind of of the opinion, like I do think wedding photos are kind of generally silly.
Like, decades down the line for your kids and stuff, it's gonna be silly. Like, I never look at wedding photos from my parents. or from anyone and go like, oh wow. - Yeah, I'm there to laugh at 'em. - I almost think him having braces will make them have. more character. - No, absolutely. - That's more of a story, and that's like sweeter in a way. That's my opinion. - It's like true like slice of life. - Yeah, like, that's what we looked like. You know, I don't know. - But some people want that, like the prince and princess wedding.
- [Shayne] They really want that. - Everything has to be perfect. - It makes me wonder if these two people. just aren't meant for each other. Like, it just seems like they're different people. and like if this is their reaction to like big things, then it's like that's-. - And if you're taking that, like if me and my hypothetical fiancee were having this-. - One day, bud. - Yeah, one day. No, if we were having this discussion. and she like goes to Reddit, I'd be like, what? (everyone laughs). - No, I mean, the biggest tell is that they go to Reddit. to talk about it with other Redditors.
- If you go to Reddit, you're the asshole. - You're the asshole. This next one comes from r/trueoffmychest. "My boyfriend got mad that I only spent $20 on him. "for a date. "I, 24-year-old woman, went on a date. "with my boyfriend who's 24 recently. "in celebration of our one year anniversary. "Money's been running tight recently. "since my boyfriend was fired from his job. "recently for showing up high.". (crew laughs). - Nice. - "I knew he was really upset about the whole situation, "so I wanted to cheer him up, "and I thought taking him out to dinner.
"for our one year anniversary, which was coming up, "was the perfect way to do so. "I took my boyfriend to one of my favorite restaurants. "from my childhood. "It wasn't a high end restaurant. "because I make like one third of what he used to make, "but nevertheless, he loved the interior design. "of the restaurant and the food. "We were having a great time until the waitress came. "and told us our combined bill was going to be. "a little under 45 bucks after tax and tip. "My boyfriend looked at me weirdly, "but I thought I imagined it, "so I ignored him and paid the bill. "After the waitress left to get a box for our takeouts,
"he turned to me and asked, "'So that's how much you value our relationship. "'after one whole year of being together?'. "I was confused and he said, "'You only spent $40 on our one year anniversary date?'. "I asked, 'What's wrong with that?'". - Bro. - "And plus the prices were printed on the menu. "He said-". (everyone laughs). "He said, 'You were supposed to pay, "'why would I have looked at the prices? "'And every time we went out, "'I always spend hundreds of dollars on you.'.
"I didn't respond because I didn't want to cause a scene. "And he raised his voice and said, 'I see how it is. "'I'm only worth $20 to you.'. "Then he left the table and told me I can take an Uber home. "I feel really bad, and I apologized many times, "but he's still mad at me understandably. "And things have been awkward.". Oh my god. - I can't believe she did that. (everyone laughs). - I don't think this is a real story. - You think this one's fake? - I think this one's fake. - I think if it is real, he deserves to be like shot.
(everyone laughs). 'Cause that's like, there's no way he's gonna treat anyone right. in any capacity. - [Ian] That's insane. - [Shayne] That's (beep) nuts. - That's a legitimate. and like delusional person. - Yeah, like after getting fired. for showing up to work high-. - "That's what I'm worth to you?". - A thing you can easily avoid. - I mean, have you tried being high though? It's pretty, no (laughs). - What was the restaurant? I'm so curious. - That's the right price range for like a Chili's, which is awesome. - Yeah. - If someone took me to Chili's-. - No, but like you could do. like a cute mom and pop Italian restaurant.
- If you're not having alcohol, like 20 bucks a person, you could get a good meal. Like, that's not cheap. - Yeah, expensive doesn't necessarily mean good. I've had expensive meals that were not good, while I've had $20 meals. that are some of the best (beep) I've ever had in my life. - Yeah, absolutely. And this was a place that was special to her. - Yeah, this was like a childhood place for her. - It wasn't just like, oh, it's expensive, like, you know. It's like this place is special to me. and I'm gonna share this with you. - I mean, (beep) like I feel like for an anniversary,
you could also even like a picnic. or just like, you know, whatever. What a douche. Some comments. "Your last line almost broke my heart. "He has no reason to be mad at you, "let alone understandably. "I've been married for eight years. "and I wouldn't care if we went. "and got Taco Tuesday dollar tacos. "It's not about the meal, but the time you spend together. "Ditching you at a restaurant. "as a punishment for you not paying enough. "for his dinner is a huge red flag. "Not to mention his decision making ability. "that not only had him show up high to work, "but so high that they could tell and fire him.". (everyone laughs).
"Just ask yourself if you wanna always be walking. "on eggshells to avoid getting stranded by him. "whenever guys are out together. "if you say the wrong word or do the wrong thing.". Yeah. - I think if my partner left me at any restaurant. for like any reason-. - That's insane. - That's like, that's insane behavior. - [Ian] That's so childish. - Saying take an Uber, in my opinion, if you're in a relationship and you say, "Take an Uber home," or whatever, you're breaking up. - Yeah, yeah. - That's a breakup move. Like, you're saying, "we're done.".
Like, that is so, either they did something so disrespectful. or you are now disrespecting them so badly it's done. You're not recovering from that. Someone said, "So he gets fired for going to work high, "isn't currently working, your finances are tight, "yet you still decided to spend $50 on an anniversary night. "I'm guessing that amount of cash is a hell. "of a lot right now. "Sorry, but he sounds like an unappreciative ass.". - Even if they were the richest person in the world, that behavior is still-. - Oh, it's still super inappropriate. - So weird. - Even if he wasn't fired. That doesn't, no context makes that okay. - Yeah, no context could make that okay.
- Like, literally it's so insane. There's an update. "First off, I just wanna thank everyone. "for the overwhelming amount of support. "and private messages. "I have read all of them, "and it warms my heart how caring internet strangers can be. "I just ended my relationship with my boyfriend.". Yeah! - We did it, Joe. - Yes! "I'll try to keep this post as short as possible. "and try to refrain my emotions from seeping through. "I can forgive him for showing up high at work. "and losing his job. "Everyone makes mistakes. "But recently he's made it clear.
"that he won't be trying to find another job. "in the near future. "So I know our relationship isn't going to be sustainable. "Also, I'm not a drug user myself, "but I've always been okay with him using it. "from time to time. "But recently all he does is get himself high. "in front of the television. "and he stopped taking care of himself, "and I'm really, really scared for him. "I'm scared his body can't handle it. "He's still icy with me about our last date. "and probably because the drugs cloud his mind, "and we haven't really had a real conversation since then. "I decided to formally end things and I phoned his parents, "and I told them about his condition,
"and right now he's living with them, "and I hope they can help him better than I can.". Rough. Real rough. But she did the right thing. - Weed. Not even once. (laughs). I can't believe weed made him do all that. - I can't believe that was weed's fault. Okay, here's our last story. I've looked at this title. - Is it a doozy? - It's a doozy. - Let's go. - We've got a new Reddit thread in here. - [Ian] Oh boy. - This is from r/unpopularopinion. (Spencer laughs). - Oh, you know this is gonna be a banger.
- And was then reposted on r/amithedevil. (everyone laughs). Because this guy's opinion was actually unpopular. - Am I wrong? - "I understand why women feel oppressed, are oppressed, "but I think it would be a dream to go through. "what they do.". - Huh. Okay. - Okay, let's hear him out. - You have my interest. - Let's hear him out. Let him cook. (everyone laughs). - "The only reason I work out. "or anything is to be more attractive to women. "If I were a straight woman,
"plenty of men, even reasonably attractive ones, "have low enough standards that they would sleep. "with a below average woman they don't even know. "I'd just go around getting blasted and ran through. "Cat call me? "Great. "You're coming home with me. "Not trying to minimize what women go through, "but personally I would love it and wish I could, "the same way some people hate working a certain job. "while someone else loves it. "I'd just be better off dealing with women's struggles. "I don't really care if a woman sexualizes me.
"or if she only listens to what I have to say. "with the promise of sex. "In fact, I wish all the women. "that ignore me would just have sex with me. "and pretend to care. "I just want woman friends that I can vent to. "and have sex with. "I don't have that. "Any woman can have that with a man though. "The biggest issues for a woman, in my opinion, "are the following. "Periods/childbirth. "I never want kids. "I'd just have my uterus removed.". - That counts as one? (crew laughs).
- Yeah, that's one thing. "Period/childbirth. "I never want kids. "I'd just have my uterus removed. "so I don't have to deal with it.". - Is that how it works? - I don't think this guy knows how women work. I'm just gonna make that assumption now. "Self-image? "Only reason I work out isn't. "because I'm not comfortable in my own body. "It's because as a man I already can't have sex. "with a stranger more than once every couple months. "and I want to improve my odds. "As long as I'm even close to average as a woman, "I could just get drunk and hook up with random guys at bars.
"whenever I want. "Fear of being sexualized? "I want to be. "Not taken seriously in professional settings? "I don't really wanna work.". (everyone laughs). - "That's fine, I don't wanna work.". - "I don't wanna work. "I just want to be a housewife with no kids. "in an open relationship. "Plus you get to weaponize your femininity. "I don't see any downsides for me. "I can see why most women feel oppressed, "but really this is all I want, "and I wish women treated me the way they complain.
"about men treating them.". Okay-. - This guy is just like uncontrollably horny. Like-. - Look, I wish him the best. - The issue is he's not talking about what women go through. He's talking about an alternate reality. where women would treat him this way. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. He's like insanely horny. - Yeah, he's not actually thinking this through. "Edit, I never once said women have it easy.
"I never said women are making a big deal. "out of what they go through. "Women all have valid concerns, "but they're just not concerns that bother me.". - But... - "Same way how for some people having a child. "would ruin their life. "and for others not having a child would crush them. "It's just a difference in opinions. "I'm speaking for myself personally. "My life, the way I do everything revolves. "around the promise of having more sex.". - Yeah, yeah. - [Shayne] At least he's honest. - Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. This guy's just horny. - "Women can have sex a lot easier than men. "I don't care if you argue, "well, women might be able to have sex easier,
"but that doesn't mean it's easy to find a relationship. "I don't want one.". (everyone laughs). - He's just-. - "I wanna have a bunch of friends, male and female, "and to be able to have sex. "with at least 80% of the female friends I have. "if I just spontaneously hit one of them up. "I don't want a monogamous relationship. "I don't even want a single friends. "with benefits relationship. "I want where practically every woman in my life could sleep. "with me if I wanted with no expectations. "of being anything more than friends.".
- This person is 16. (everyone laughs). This person is just horny on main at 16. - "Only NBA players and famous rappers can live this life, "and that still comes with tons of expectations. "to maintain-". - "But I gotta rap!". (everyone laughs). - But then you still have to work. "And that still comes with tons of expectations. "to maintain your fame and status. "I don't even wanna work.". He says it. - Yeah, this was written by Dennis from "Always Sunny.". - This really is a Dennis post. "Almost any woman could become a porn star.
"You shoot a few times a month. "and make a good annual salary.". - That's definitely true. - "You hit up any of your personal guy friends. "and you can have sex with them. "and go back to being casual friends easily, "and you could have 50 of these relationships if you wanted. "Just a whole life centered around self-care, "making friends, and having sex with your friends. "if you wanted. "Very few men-". (Ian laughs). - Just keeps going. - He keeps going. "Very few men can ever have anything ever related. "to this lifestyle.". - Unless you're a rapper. - [Shayne] Unless you're... - Or an NBA star.
- Or an NBA player. Let's unpack that. - "Women can be a professional dominatrix if they wanted to. "and get paid to spit in a middle-aged man's mouth. "and insult him. "I can never do this. "Even the most attractive of men can never do this.". - Actually, yeah, you can. - [Shayne] You probably could. - You can. - I bet you there's some men. who would be down for him to spit in their mouth. - No, there's definitely men. that are professional dominatrix. - Oh yeah. I mean, like... "You're so focused on comparing. "how you think women have it harder. "that you're ignoring that I'm making this post.
"as an individual. "And as an individual, "I just want to have a (beep) load of free time. "to have sex with my friends. "after I come home from a long day of having sex.". (everyone laughs). - I feel like I should hate this person more, but the more they talk, the more I'm like (laughs). - [Shayne] The more I'm like, you know. - Hold on, he's got a point. - If he hadn't led with like the women oppression angle, like if he's like, "I just want like more sex.". It's like, okay, sure.
But the way he framed it is insane. - Oh yeah, yeah. - He sums it up. His last sentence is, "I literally only care about sex and friends. "Women can feasibly live life that way and I can't.". - Find a woman living like that. - Someone said, "What's stopping you? "Just go to a gay bar and live your dream.". - Yeah, no, straight up. - Go find some hummus. - "This is an incel's understanding of women's experiences.". - Yeah. No, I feel like he doesn't have a single relationship. with a woman. - I think he thinks, where he's really wrong is saying like, "We could have sex and go back to being casual friends.
"and it's totally fine.". It's like no, one of those 50 guys is going to kill you. for sure. Like, you forgot where some of the men are going. to be violent and scary. - Become obsessed. and not want to just make it a friends thing. - Yeah, no, he's missing a lot of parts. I think you're right. I think this is a 16-year-old kid. - "I would (beep) them.". - "No, you guys aren't hearing me.". - "Come on!". - If he just made his post just that last line of, "I want to come home and have sex.
"after a long day of having sex,". if that was his only take then I'd be like, you know, good on you. Good luck with that. - That's not even an unpopular opinion. If he posted just that of like, "I wanna come home and have sex after having sex all day,". a lot of people will be like, you know what? Yeah. - Up vote. (everyone laughs). - Take my gold, sir. - Take my gold, kind stranger. (everyone laughs). - Every single cringey Reddit thing. Man. - [Ian] Oh, he doesn't understand. - I hope this ends up being a Twilight Zone thing. where he wakes up as a woman one day.
and he is just like, oh. - It's a horny version of "Your Name.". - It's a horny version of "Your Name." (laughs). "Your Name" but he wakes up in her body. and just has so much sex. - Just has so much sex. He's like, "You're just my friend, right?". - I really hope this guy like-. - I hope he finds God. (Shayne laughs). - I hope he has at least one conversation with a woman. (everyone laughs). - It'd be awesome if, I don't know, he say met a woman. - Okay, well that's the final story. And what a guy. - That was awesome. That was, not that story but like all that.
- So we usually do a thing, and I wasn't keeping tabs on it now, but who do we think is the king of the assholes? My vote probably the boss who called out sick with COVID. and then, you know, left his whole entire team. He betrayed a lot of people there. to go be on "F Boy Island.". - He let the team down. - And that was an actual confirmed adult. - Yes. That's a man who was in like, he had a job where he was in charge of a lot of people. and he really just neglected it all. Also, I mean I know he'd been just joking about it a lot.
The guy who called his girlfriend. like every single sort of diss, just don't like that guy. - Oh yeah, don't like him. - Don't like him. But this last guy, I don't know, he's not like. the king of the assholes. - Legend. (Spencer laughs). - He's kind of hilarious. He's kinda funny. I really hope he changes his opinions, but-. - Yeah. - Well, thank you guys for joining me. This has been a lot of fun. Had a great time. - This was sick. I love hanging out with the boys. (Shayne laughs). - Just guys being dudes. - I started to think, you know, maybe we had,
maybe men, you know, maybe we were on the way up, but after reading those, I don't know. - You thought we were having a bounce back moment? - I thought we were having a bounce back moment. We were having a good time. - Turns out we're still in our flop era. - Yeah. (everyone laughs). - Shout out to Tig Bitties. - Yeah, Tig Bitties. - That was the biggest asshole. That was the biggest asshole. That guy was (beep) up, man. - All right, well thank you all for watching. Any Reddit stories you find that are super unhinged, please you can send them over to the Smosh Twitter.
or post them on the Smosh Reddit. Any sort of way you wanna send them to us and let us know, and we'll be back with more of these I promise. And yeah, thank you guys, and we'll see you later. Bye.
