Iconic r/AITA Stories | Reading Reddit Stories

- We are back with more unbelievable Reddit stories. I'm Shayne, and today is very special. We're going to be revisiting some of the classics. from when we read Reddit stories. on Twitch a couple years ago. You know, a lot of these aren't on the channel, and they are very fun. And our guests today, Angela and Chanse. Man, welcome back. So you guys weren't here when we were doing Reddit stories. on Twitch. - No, we weren't born. - So (laughs).

You were not even babies yet. - Yeah. - So we at one point on Twitch did a tournament of assholes. where for a couple weeks we were doing. like a bracket system, like moving up who is the biggest asshole. on Am I The Asshole. - Oh, that's so fun. - And we had a very clear winner, but I'm curious if you guys can also maybe determine. who it was as we read them. - Oh, that's so fun. - I've done a tournament of assholes too. - [Shayne] Nice.

- [Angela] Dude. (everyone laughs). - Should we hop right in? - Yeah. - Should we get right into this? - Yeah. - Yay, I'm excited! - Nice. Nice. - If there was a Reddit stories theme song, what would it be? It'd be like (vocalizes). - That's what I was thinking too. - It'd be like, it'd be like... - Welcome back. (vocalizes). ♪ Crazy stories, buttholes, lies ♪. ♪ Nuts stuff ♪. ♪ You don't want to... ♪.

- You go, you go. - Let's dive into it. (everyone laughs). - For now, that's the official theme. (everyone laughs). "Am I the asshole for privately asking my friend. "about the paternity of her children?". - I'm gonna say already no. (Shayne laughs). No. - Not the asshole? - Not the asshole, 'cause some of them kids don't be looking like them daddies. I'm gonna say it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Okay. (laughs). "Saw another post that reminded me of this situation.

"A few years ago, my close childhood friend gave birth. "to triplets. "Her husband is a light Black man. "Of the three, two were the same skin tone as her husband, "and the third was much darker. "The skin tones made me a little suspicious. "that her husband might not be the father. "I pulled her aside privately and asked her seriously. "if her husband was the father. "She didn't even listen or answer rationally. "She just freaked out at me and acted super insulted. "and kicked me out. "I reached out to her husband. "and told him about her reaction. "and told him he should get a paternity test,

"and he called me an asshole and blocked me. "Neither has spoken to me since. "I've always thought that they dramatically overreacted. "and were probably hiding something. "because of their responses, but they're still married, "and sometimes I feel bad about what happened. "I just felt a lot of empathy for her husband. "because I would be devastated if I wasn't confident. "that I was the father of my future children. "Was I an asshole for asking privately?". - Yeah, maybe. (Shayne laughs). - Well, your original answer was no? - Yeah. - And now you think yes.

- Oh, they're triplets? - They're triplets. - Well, then, she's like... - "Of the three, two were the same skin tone as her husband. "and the third was much darker.". And that's why she's like, "I don't know. "That third triplet that you gave birth to..." (laughs). - But they're not identical. - She's like, "I'm gonna get one more round of margaritas. "and then I wanna talk to you.". (Shayne laughs). - Because they split the punnet square. Is that what it's called? Punnet square? - At no point, she doesn't say,

it's not said that they're identical triplets. - No. - [Shayne] It's just triplets. - They're just triplets. - But I mean, my ultimate opinion on this is like, it's none of your business. - That's true. - Yeah. - [Shayne] Like, especially-. - 100%. - Okay, you already go and you say this to her, and she freaks out at you, then you go and contact the husband. on top of that. - Yeah, that's crazy. - What are you doing? Like, why are you so. concerned. - Invested. - [Shayne] I mean... - This feels like maybe one of those friendships. where they're all up in each other's business already, where it just feels like already one of those,

you know, like those friendships. where they're like really like involved. and they talk to each other's moms and stuff. - Yeah, "my close childhood friend.". So they just feel like a sense of like-. - Ah. - Like, boundaries are already blurred. - That is true. - That's a good point, Angela. - Yeah. But she's an asshole. - She's an asshole. - Yeah, yeah. - [Shayne] Absolutely. - Asshole's an asshole. - Especially after contacting the husband. Like, leave it. Leave it. - It's also one of those situations where-. - Like a dog.

- Leave it. - It's one of those situations I feel like, I say like we're all stupid in certain ways. and like she's not a biologist, right? So she's like, "This doesn't look like it makes sense.". It's like maybe you just don't understand how genetics work. - Yeah. - And that's okay. - [Angela] Yeah, it's like us. trying to figure it out. - You don't have to be like, "I figured this out. "No, this doesn't...". (Angela laughs). Some comments here. "So first off, triplets are rare. "Multiples like that imply to me IVF. "For all you know, the husband is infertile, "and they needed IVF to conceive, "and you just hit a massive sore spot. "by being an inconsiderate ass.

"Secondly, there are a lot of factors for skin color, "and it is more than possible for a child. "to have markedly darker or lighter skin than their parent. "Finally, what business is it of yours? "So, yes, you're the asshole. "You intruded on a subject. "that's none of your damn business. "And then when your friend got upset at you for being nosy, "you tried to blow up her marriage. "In what world would you not be the asshole? "I'm not surprised that they cut you out of their lives.". OP responded, "They had them naturally not through IVF. "I was just concerned because none of them were any lighter.

"than her husband, only the same tone or darker, "and she is very fair.". Commenter responded, "They had them naturally not through IVF, you assume. "Unless you were in the bedroom with them, "you don't know that for certain. "Regardless, the skin color of the parents. "is not the only factor. "that determines the skin color of the child.". OP responded, "You're incorrect. "She told me when they started trying, "and she told me when she got pregnant soon after. "We were very close, "and I know better than you do that they didn't use IVF.".

Commenter responded, "So she told you that they were trying for kids. "and right after that she was pregnant, "but you still decided she cheated on her husband. "and had another man's babies based solely on the fact. "that one of the triplets was dark?". And of course she didn't respond to that. Someone else said, "Dude, genetics. "One of his parents likely has a darker skin tone, "and that came through in the grandchild. "Not uncommon. "Super normal. "You are a flaming asshole for this. "I cannot-" - Flaming. - Flaming.

- "You're the asshole.". And then lastly, someone said, "You're the asshole for contacting her husband. "What the (beep). "Are you new to life?". Someone else replied to that saying, "This could get a woman killed, OP. "Jesus.". You don't know their relationship. You don't know. Like, that's just a-. - Cop. - It's just a such an intense thing to throw, the suggestion of that to throw at a couple is so mean. because like they're gonna have to have some sort. of conversation about it. They're gonna have to be like, "Can you believe she said that?". - Yeah.

- We know. - Yeah. - I guess I'm also very used to it growing up. with like a white family and everyone's like, "What is that one doing? "Like, wait, what? "Why he look like that?". So like, it's very like, like bounces off. It bounces off. - Interesting. - So I was like, no, not the asshole. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. There's an edit here. "Okay, I get it. "I'm an asshole. "I wanna make it clear. "that I didn't think the triplets had different fathers. "I'm not an idiot. "I thought it was possible given the skin tone.

"of the third triplet. "that all three were fathered by a darker man, "and the first two were a bit lighter. "because my friend was very fair.". - How often though do you get in these posts. where the asshole goes, "Okay, I'm the asshole"? - I respect them a tiny bit when they do that. You know, I can respect that move. Like, "Okay.". - All right. I've listened to everyone. - I hear you, you're heard. I asked, you answered. I heard. - All right. Yeah, they admitted, "I'm an asshole.". - Yeah. - That makes them probably not the king of the assholes.

- Definitely not. - She's already fighting at a lower bracket for me. - Yeah. - [Shayne] Okay. - Of if we are doing this tournament. - Lightweight asshole. - Yeah, lightweight asshole. because she's listening and she's reading. - [Shayne] Okay. - She's reading? - The posts. - Yes. - [Chanse] Oh. - She's reading all of these scientists going, "Dude, genetics." - The scientists. - Dude, genetics. - IVF. - I know IVF. - Dude, do you know IVF? - That's good. - Dude. - All right, this next one's incredible. I remember this. - Yay! - So quick preface here.

Something that we used to do that I wanna start doing again. on this show is there were assholes. but there were also legends, stories where someone in it is awesome. and you respect them beyond anything else. A good example, I don't know if you guys were-. - Like Jesus. (Shayne laughs). - I don't know if you guys were in the episode. Do you remember the story about the guy. who brought his pet raccoon to the wedding? One of the stories that we had on this show. was a guy brought his pet raccoon to a wedding, and people were mad 'cause they said,

"Don't bring the pet raccoon.". - Why? - I had nowhere else to bring him. - Let him bring the-. - Now he might've been the asshole, but Pebble, the raccoon in a bow tie at the wedding, is a legend. - Absolutely. - Like, Pebble did nothing wrong. Pebble's awesome. So there's legends, and there's also people who do awesome stuff. There was a story we read about a guy. who there was an unfair dress code imposed on a woman. at his job, so he started wearing, like, he's like. a big 250 pound guy. - Legend. - So he started wearing yoga pants and like whatever.

- Okay, legend. - Legend. - Legends. There are people who are legends, so this is a legend. - Like when everyone gave money to that charity. - Awesome legend. - [Angela] Legends. - Legends. Okay, but this is one of my favorite legends. "Am I the asshole for serving my daughter wet ass pizza?". (Angela laughs). - I love it. - "43-year-old woman here. "My 16-year-old daughter had some friends over. "in our backyard for a get together yesterday. "I asked them if they wanted food and they said sure,

"but honestly didn't seem like they were even having fun. "I pride myself in being a fun mom. "Maybe not a cool mom, but fun. "So I ordered pizza for them. "To make them laugh, I played that song 'Wet Ass (beep)'. "from my phone and I sang along to it, holding the pizza, "singing 'wet ass pizza.'. "Honestly, I thought it was hilarious. "Then I put the pizza down and began booty shaking a little. "No boys were there, just three girls.". - No boys! - "My daughter shrieked as if she'd been stabbed. "and said this was humiliating. "And I said, 'Sounds like dry pizza energy.'" (laughs).

"As a joke. "And her friends snickered a bit, so I know the joke landed. "Well, it's been a day and she won't leave her room. "or speak to me. "Am I really in the wrong?". - Okay, how old is the daughter? - 16. Sounds like dry pizza energy. - It does sound like dry pizza energy. She was not wrong at all. - This woman's a (beep) legend. - A legend, yeah.

(everyone laughs). Just I can imagine how long it would go on too, 'cause there was like different segments. There was different acts. - Yeah, she did a whole thing. - Act one was bringing it in. Act two is dancing. Act three gotta close it out with the-. - Okay. Here's my stance. Here's what I feel about this. - [Chanse] Okay. - You can live in a world where both exists, that this woman is a legend and that was (beep) humiliating. - [Chanse] Yeah, absolutely. (Shayne laughs). 100%. - I think 16 is right in the area.

where you don't want your mom to be funny. - Yeah. - This is the thing. It's only three friends. If it was like you had a party of a bunch of people, I think that elevates it. But it's like, it's a little just get together. They're just hanging out. - Yeah. And I remember, I don't know, this is very personal, but I feel that I turned, I think, I wanna say I turned 18 and then it was okay for my mom. to make me laugh. But there was an age, I think it was like-. - Yeah. - It was like 15 to 18.

where she's not allowed to make me laugh. - Yeah. (Shayne laughs). - And it's just a thing. She's only allowed to make me smile, and that's it. - Having met your mom, this feels like her energy. - [Chanse] It does. - And there was a time where if she did that, it's just no. And it's those ages. - [Chanse] Yeah. - And I feel for this girl, but also this is legendary behavior on behalf of the mom. And what I love about this,

I have so much to say, I'm sorry. What I love about this is that the mom did this. based off of the vibes she was picking up on, and it sounded like they weren't having fun, which only makes me think like what if they were talking. about something really serious? - Oh. And then mom comes in with this pizza, wet ass pizza. - Wet ass pizza. Like, what if something really serious happened at school. and they were talking (laughs). (beep). - And they don't wanna tell the mom. That's brutal. - Oh. - That's a whole different perspective, and I love it.

- I'm imagining, you know how there's a part in the song. where there's that like truck horn sound? If she had like a little horn that she (laughs). (mimics horn). So she was determined the asshole by the comments. - [Chanse] Okay. - Which, you know, I think your point is very fair. This is allowed to be funny and also, and it's also what level of asshole here, right? Like, we read so many stories. where someone like breaks up a marriage.

And it's like, yeah, you're a absolute asshole. This is like, okay, you're an asshole, but your daughter's gonna laugh about it in a couple years. - Something can be wet and dry at the same time. (Shayne laughs). - No, it can't. - Damn it. Okay, some comments. "You sound like a cringey mom. "You're trying too hard to be cool. "But to your daughter and her friends, "it's an old person trying to be hip and totally failing. "They weren't laughing at your joke. "They were snickering at you. "You embarrassed your daughter, and you should apologize.". - Incorrect. - "Even if your intentions were good, "you didn't have the effect you hoped for,

"and you're the asshole.". Someone else said, "You're the asshole. "You're her mother, not her friend. "Act like her mother and don't try to be the cool mom. "Your kid will either think that you are cool or not. "Acting like you're filming a TikTok. "is more likely going to embarrass her. "in front of her friends.". Someone else said, "No one's the asshole. "I feel people are being way too hard on OP. "Yeah, it's cringey, "and everything your parents do like breathing. "is super humiliating when you're a kid. "I'm getting the Amy Poehler mom vibe. "just from the meme only. "But I haven't seen the movie.

"But she doesn't have to (beep) crawl in a hole and die. "just because she had kids. "A lot of parents are super uptight, can't joke around, "don't let their kids do anything fun. "Let this woman live. "She isn't being abusive, toxic, or shitty to her kid.". Yeah. I don't know. I'm not a parent. - Yeah. - And also my parents didn't do this kind of stuff. - Yeah. - Like, my parents were a little more on the serious side. So, but... - Yeah, my mom didn't do this stuff. - [Shayne] I also think like-. - Oh, my parents did this stuff. They're silly.

- See, why I don't think it's... Yeah, I agree, you embarrassed her in that moment. - Yeah. - But also like, I don't know. I got embarrassed a lot in my teen years. 'cause I was trying to be an actor, so naturally that happens. And honestly, some of it I'm a little grateful for. - Yeah. - Like, you want different life experiences. I just think this is a story that. when this daughter's like... (everyone laughs). Like, at this point now, the daughter's what? 20 now? - It's probably (beep) hilarious. - They probably joke about it all the time now. - So funny. It's gotta be a staple. - I think if she did this around cousins, it's funny.

You do this around friends- - Yeah, that's true. - At that age for some reason, like, I remember. when I was with my mom- - Oh, I would get so mad. - When I was with my mom around friends, like it was so embarrassing to just have a mom. I don't know what it is. But like I would be with my mom, and if she was driving the car, I would duck. 'cause I don't want people to know like I'm with my mom. - I don't want people to know I have a mom. - [Chanse] But that's also so sad. - It's so sad. Because being 16, you're like, "I'm an individual.".

And you're like, when you have a mom, you're like, "No.". Like, it's just, I don't know what it is. But like if she did this around her cousins, I think it'd be funnier. If she did this, like I don't know. If she did this for TikTok and she blew up, I bet she wouldn't be embarrassed. I don't know. It's embarrassing when you have your friends. - But the mom is a person too. The mom is also an individual, and they're just trying to relate to their daughter. and be silly and be fun. - Oh my god, wet ass pizza. - Wet ass pizza is good. It's dumb, it's stupid. - And then for her to punch up and go,

"You have dry ass pizza energy right now.". - Incredible. - Yeah. - It might be different also the intention. if the mom was trying to embarrass her a little. - That's fair. - You can tell when she's trying to embarrass her. - It's certainly one, I mean, these are very short stories. There's probably a lot of context there. - Yeah. - Like, what are the typical interactions between this mom. and daughter on a daily basis? That adds to it, right? But as a just in a vacuum, it just reads as a sitcom scene.

- Yes, it does. Same. - All right, next one. "Am I the asshole for telling my toddler brother. "that my winkie, penis, fell off? "This story takes place seven years ago. "when I was 13 and my brother was three. "As of today he has enough of a working understanding. "of female biology to know that I was full of shit. "I was using the restroom when I was on my period, "my toddler brother walked in on me, "got a clear sight of the blood, "and asked what happened in a scared voice.

"I said, 'I'm bleeding because I was a bad boy. "'when I was little, and my winkie fell off. "'You better be a good boy or the same will happen to you.'. "He runs out to the living room crying to my mom. "saying that he's sorry for misbehaving. "and that he'll be a good boy from now on. "My mom thought I was an asshole, "but she also got a great laugh. "before setting my brother straight.". - She set him straight, so he's not like scarred for life. - No, no, no. She said, yeah, at this point now... He's 10 years old now, and he has an understanding.

She's like, he knows. - Oh, but how funny if that kid goes to college. and he's like, "I don't wanna cheat on a test. "I don't wanna lose my (beep)". (everyone laughs). - He has a girlfriend and she's like, "You really hurt me with what you said earlier.". And he's like, "(beep). "Oh my god, no!". She's like, "What's going on?". He's like, "My winkie's gonna fall off!". (Angela laughs). Oh my god. He gets arrested and he's like-. - I think it's a good joke. I like it.

- What I remember saying at the time is like, damn, comedic reflexes. - Yeah. - Your toddler brother walks in, you're in a very like vulnerable situation. - I know, she's good. - And you immediately go, "My penis fell off.". That's insane. - Also like she's using it like in a parenting way. where she's like, "Be a good boy. "or else this will happen to you.". (everyone laughs). Like, wow. - Oh shit. - Once again, I think knowing like their dynamic.

on a more consistent basis would add to it, 'cause it makes it sound like this is just. as siblings already. and that's just typical sibling behavior. - Yeah, I feel like people are the when you hear, like, where people tell kids the opposite, where they're like, they tell kids that pink is blue. and blue is pink just to (beep) with their brains. Anyway, nevermind. - I will say what I can relate to is, 'cause she was 13 and he was three,

my brothers were much older than me, like that age gap. And when you are only surrounded by people. who are just actually authority figures to you, like they're not like, they were my brothers, but they were so much older. that anything they said was true. It wasn't like a brother thing where I'm like, "Ah, screw you.". I remember one time my brother, we were both outside and he like disappeared for a second. I was like, "Chris, where are you?". I was like, you know, four or five. - [Angela] Yeah.

- And then all of a sudden he appears outta nowhere, and he's just like, "Dude, that was crazy.". I was like, "What?". He's like, "I just traveled around the world.". And I was like, "What?". And he is like, "Yeah.". I don't know. And he was just like recounting all these things. that happened. And I was like, "No, it didn't, that didn't happen.". - Little Shayne. - But in my head I was like, "Holy shit.". - What if it did though? (Shayne laughs). - What if it really did happen? But just anything that's said is true. - Yeah, it's true. - So for a little bit, that was absolute fact for him.

Comments. "You're the asshole, but honestly, fairly harmless assholery. "and funny in retrospect. "Reminds me of the time one of my childhood friends. "and I convinced his toddler age brother. "that he was the only person in the world with a butt crack. "and everyone else just had one big cheek.". (crew laughs). He's like, "Do you guys poop?". They're like, "What is that?". - Yours is cut in the middle?

(Shayne laughs). - You have two? You're a freak. - Horizontally or vertically or how's it cut? - You have a crack? - My opinion, a sibling saying this is like par for the course hilarious. A parent who does anything remotely like that, I'm like, you are a monster. You cannot do that shit to your kid. - Oh my god, I just remembered. Oh my god, oh my god. I played a huge (beep) prank on my brother. when he was little. Me and my cousins. I completely forgot this.

- [Shayne] What? - My brother would only drink ginger ale. for a period of time. And we were like, "You're gonna get gingivitis.". (everyone laughs). I completely forgot this. - That's so dumb. - And my brother was so scared. He was like, "I'm gonna get gingivitis.". - Yes, and you're messing with him. 'cause he thinks ginger is-. - Yeah, yeah. - [Shayne] Gingivitis. - That's good. - He's at a sushi restaurant nowadays. Do you wanna add ginger to that? He's like, "No." - Take that off my plate. - No. "No one's the asshole.

"This is what siblings do to each other. "When I was eight, my older brother convinced me. "that clown men can crawl out of the toilet. "and eat me if I don't aim right and feed them." (laughs). - Yeah, that's a good lie though. - Jesus Christ. - Well, honestly, these are good if they help you. - Yeah. I'm not gonna pee on the seat because-. - The butt crack one is just mean. - "You're the asshole, but not like a huge one. "You weren't being malicious. "and obviously this did not frighten him enough.

"that it will affect him, "and it'll just be another dumb ass thing you said. "as a sibling.". Okay, next story. "Am I the asshole for refusing. "to give my friend the money I made selling her artwork?". - What? - Now we're back to an actual asshole. - Okay. - [Shayne] We're making our way back. - I don't know, I'm getting legend vibes. (Shayne laughs). - Stealing content, yeah. (Angela laughs). "My friend is a new artist. "that has been getting a lot of attention lately. "She recently started selling prints. "When she listed them, she criminally underpriced them.

"I told her this. "I said she could easily charge double for these prints. "There is high demand. "She didn't believe me. "I bought two of her prints. "I work in a coffee shop that doubles as a gallery. "So I asked my boss if I could hang the two pieces. "I listed them for sale, "and they both sold for triple what I paid for them. "like I thought. "I ended up making around $300. "I told a couple of people and word got around to my friend. "She started demanding the money from me for the sales. "I told her absolutely not. "I told her from the jump that she was undercharging.

"I think that this $300 is payment to me. "for showing her that. "She's mad and has went to others for solace. "Our friend group is really heated about it. "They want me to give her the money. "They think she's a hungry artist and I'm robbing her. "Now, I feel bad she missed out on the money, "but does that make me an asshole? "Am I the asshole?". - Here's what it is. It's your friend, it's your friend, it's your friend. But also, isn't that what an art curator does?

Don't they go find art and then bring it to a gallery, and then people buy it for way more than they-. - But don't they, the artist gets a cut of that. - The artist gets a cut of that. - Yeah, so she's just... I think this is also, I see this less as a business thing. and more personal where it's like-. - It's a friend. - If you have a friend who does this as a passion thing. and you're like, "Hey man, I think you're underpricing these.". Like, "Oh no.". But it's like, "Okay, I'm gonna buy these from you.". As a friend, I'm buying art from my friend. And then I think even if you sold it, whatever,

there's an element of just that you bought art. from your friend and then sold it. - Yeah, it's your friend first. It's your friend first. - It's like, damn, dude. Okay, so you didn't want it? - Friend first. - If you did this before with other art, maybe. But like this is the first time you've ever done this. - Or if they told them like, "Hey, I'm gonna buy your art and I'm gonna sell. "Let me buy your art and I'm gonna go sell it. "And if it sells for more, I get to keep the money.". Make that deal. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's the friend first and it's getting around.

Like, you should have told your friend, "Hey, I actually put it up for sale in my art shop. "or in my coffee shop. "And it sold, like I told you.". - This is one of those situations where I think people go, "Well, look, I didn't do anything wrong. "because all of this makes sense.". And it's like, yeah, I see how it makes sense in your mind. - You're right. - But like, this is an emotional thing. - You're so right. - This is deeper. And okay, cool. You followed the rules in your head. - You bought the art.

- I bought the like, yes, everything-. - It's your art. - Just because something is legal doesn't mean it's right. - [Angela] You're right, you're right. - Even take right and wrong out of this. Just like, hey, is your friendship worth $300? - Whoa! - [Shayne] That's the decision. - You're so right, Shayne. - [Shayne] Make that choice. - Like, is it right or does it feel right? Like, there's a difference here. because it's like, sure, you own the art now. - Yeah. - But like, I don't know.

Yeah. But if they weren't friends, is this okay? - It's not linear, it's a web. - If like, they weren't friends, 'cause I know people that do this with clothes like Depop. - Absolutely. - Like with Depop and shit. - Absolutely. - Oh, you find like an old, (beep) like that old t-shirt I found where it's like, oh, this is like a find. And then you put it on Depop, and you sell it for more like for vintage buyers. - Yeah, that's fine. - [Angela] That's fine. - It's fine 'cause you're not tied to the artist. or the creator. - It's 'cause it's personal. If you bought art at a yard sale and you go, "Oh shit, this is actually a incredible piece.

"I'm gonna sell it for more," that's totally fine. - Your friend (beep) made this with their (beep) hands. - Yeah, it's disrespectful. - [Angela] Weird. - Yeah, they're choosing to end that friendship. Someone said, "You're the asshole. "At least give her some of it. "Isn't she your friend? "You're not treating her like one. "Also you have access to an art gallery, she doesn't. "Why not at least split it with her?". - So true. - "If I were in her position, "I honestly wouldn't really wanna be friends. "with you anymore.". Someone else said, "You're the asshole. "This would be fine if the artist was some rando,

"but this is supposedly your friend, right? "At the very least, "you should have offered to split the profit with her.". Someone else said, "You're not the asshole. "You're allowed to resell art. "You tried to help her, she refused, "so you proved a point and earned some money for yourself. "She should be grateful. "and thank you that she now earns more.". Yeah, someone else responded underneath that. "Just because he's legally right. "doesn't mean he's morally right.". - Boom. - Yeah. - Yeah. And it's just one of the, I think if this was a person talking to me like personally,

I would just, it wouldn't be about like, hey, you're right or you're wrong. I'd just be like, "Hey, this friendship's about to go. "Do you care to save it?". - Yeah. - Does this friend matter to you? - [Angela] Yeah. - And if they don't, if this whole point that you're making matters more, then you were never friends. - Exactly. - [Shayne] Never actually cared about them. - What the first comment was was really interesting. where it's like this friend has access to this space. that the artist doesn't. - Yeah. - Where it's like this friend has access to buyers. and like an art gallery. - It's a coffee shop.

- That your friend doesn't have. That's like... - There's so many ways that they could have offered. to prove this point better, 'cause like, "I work in a coffee shop. "that doubles as a gallery.". Just be like, "Hey, look, let me put two of your pieces up. "and let me price them and let me show you.". But no, she didn't do that. Like, or he didn't do that. I just think it's just, yeah. I get why the person's saying not the asshole, whatever, for those reasons legally. But we're not talking about law here.

- Yeah. - So that sucks. I just, I don't know. Yeah, I don't think that person's gonna-. - It's like that friend has a pool and you don't, and you're like, "Well, I can swim.". (Shayne laughs). You follow? - I think I do. - And it's like, "Cool, well, I don't have a pool.". And you're like, "Well, cool, you have a pool.". You get it? - I don't have a pool. - Let me know if you get it in the comments. - And look, man, there's a world where they had a friend.

who thinks like them and goes, "Oh yeah, thank you for proving that point.". Like, if you have a like mind. But these are two very different people, you know? But ultimately-. - Not everyone has a pool. - So you're the asshole. for mistreating your friend. You're not the asshole for selling the paintings. - This episode is brought to you by Better Help. As you probably know, I've talked about it a lot on this show. and the channel at large is that I love therapy. I've been in therapy for a long time. I'm a big fan of psychology, and I'm a big fan of trying to work through my own brain.

and my own behavior and thinking. And it's not easy. And it's not easy for anyone. Everyone can benefit from therapy, I firmly believe that. And it can make life at the very least, a little bit easier day to day. An option for many is Better Help. It is convenient, and it's entirely online and flexible, made to fit your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a questionnaire, and you'll be matched with a licensed therapist,

and you can switch therapists at any point. for no charge at all. So let therapy be your map with Better Help. And right now you can go to betterhelp.com/pitreddit. to get 10% off your first month. That's Better Help, H-E-L-P .com/pitreddit. for 10% off your first month. Pretty good deal. All right, next story. I remember this one. - He's smiling. - This one I remember. I think I had a bit of an unpopular stance on it.

- Ooh. - I think. I think I kind of thought this guy. was a little bit of a legend, even if a lot of people disagreed. - Let's disagree. - Let me, rereading it though, I'll remember. - Maybe you're different now. - Okay. "Am I the asshole because I ate more than my share. "of a six foot party sub last night?". (everyone laughs). See, it's just funny. - Okay. - Okay. (everyone laughs). I remember. All right. - Six foot?

- Six foot party sub. - Oh my god. - Yeah, someone gave me one for my birthday. - A whole six foot party sub? - Yeah, my brother ordered one. - Look, it's like this. - Yeah, it took up a whole island. - Gigantic. All right. "What I thought would be a total non-issue has ballooned. "into a huge problem, "and I'm up at 7:05 AM dealing with it.". - Legend. - "I figured while I waited for a text, "I could post here to see if what I did was really that bad. "I'm a big fat ass. "There's no way around it.". - I love that. - "I love to eat, which probably borders on addiction,

"but I figure since I'm only hurting myself, "it's probably better to just live my life. "I have some great friends, "although there is no doubt I'm the harmless, "funny token fat guy. "of the otherwise pretty good looking group. "I guess that sets the stage enough. "Last night my friend hosted UFC, and I was invited. "He got a six foot party sub. "I also brought homemade wings. "that are sort of my specialty. "Well, of course people flocked to the food, "and I had basically one serving of the sandwich. "But people devoured my wings, "and I didn't get to have a single one, "which is totally fine.

"That's why I brought them. "But maybe an hour later I was starving. "I kept eyeing the sandwich, "and I'd say there was about three feet of it left. "I waited an hour, then another half hour, "and no one had touched it. "But they were still munching on chips, pretzels, "and whatnot. "So I was like, 'Screw it.'. "I took about half of what was left and ate it. "Then the last half sat there for another 10 to 15 minutes, "and no one said anything, so ate the rest. "Well, to be sure as I was swallowing the last bite, "the host's girlfriend asked where the sandwich was. "Like I was the guilty party,

"pretty much everyone pointed at me. "I guess they'd noticed me eating the sandwich. "She was furious and said that I was an incredible pig. "and that I had been super selfish. "to eat three feet of a sandwich. "I felt so bad. "I tried to explain to her that I really did wait. "over an hour and thought people had lost interest. "I also tried to explain how everyone had ate my wings, "and she said something along the lines of, "'You brought them to share, Alan. "'If someone had eaten over half by themselves, "'that's not (beep) sharing, is it?'. "I offered to order pizza or even go get Subways,

"and she said that it was a pathetic offer. "because the party sub had been. "from a local shop owned by her friends. "I said I was sorry, "but the night was so tense from then on out. "I woke up this morning to several texts. "from my twin sisters, the host's girlfriend's best friends, "saying that I had to get my shit under control. "and that everyone is really mad at me. "and that I embarrassed myself last night. "I tried to explain to them my mindset had been, "and they haven't responded. "Was I the asshole. "for eating that much of the sandwich last night? "Edit, I guess I've been banned from responding,

"but my inbox has 1,200 notifications, "so I can't find out why. "To answer to what seems. "to be the most common misconception. "This wasn't a Subway party sub. "So definitely not four times the size of a regular sub. "This is a local place, "so it's about 1.5 times the width of a regular sub. "It's still a ton of food, don't get me wrong. "But I can down five Subway foot longs. "in an afternoon easily. "This is probably about equivalent to that, "not 12 like some people are saying.".

So-. - You're like he's a legend. because he ate three feet of a sub. - Yeah. I think I just, a lot of how he just, I don't know, it's just an insane situation. And I think the way he writes I kind of just think is funny. - Yeah. - Look, he's also very, as opposed to most Am I The Asshole posts. where they're like, "What the (beep) is wrong with these people?". He's like, "Look, I am coming from a place of like yeah, "I understand that I (beep) up in some ways,

"but here's where I'm coming from.". The politics of food. when you're hanging out with people is such a thing. - Oh, I have- - I love it. - There's not really discussed at length. - No, it's not. - Oh no, and I have thoughts. - Me and Angela I feel like have very similar, I think we're both providers. We're both like, we're gonna bring everything to this. - And we love cooking, we love dinner parties, we love eating with people and sharing foods.

Yeah, you first. - And so I'm very conscious of what is there. - And how many mouths to feed. - And how many mouths to feed, like almost cripplingly so. But it's there to be eaten. - Eaten! - If an hour goes by-. - And there's still food there. - I'm like, "Damn, I (beep) up. "I got too much food.". I'm like, "Thank God someone's eating.". Thank God someone's eating.

I didn't buy a six foot, it's embarrassing if I bought a six foot party sub. and three feet of it is still there. - Half of it! - I bought the wrong thing for this party. So, Alan, thank you for eating the sub. because it's there to be eaten. - Only counter argument I have, because something I feel, and it depends on how many people were there, I think a little bit. But all he had to do was go, "Hey guys, do you mind. "if I snag a big chunk of this sandwich,

"which has been sitting here for an hour?". - That's a communication thing too. And he has to be like, he has to put himself out there and be like, "Can I have this?". Which I'm like-. - Yeah, it does feel, it just feels like a lack of communication, which is funny to say about a sandwich. But he could have said, "Hey guys, do you mind if I have some of the sandwich?". Or if he's going for that sandwich. and they know they want some, could they be like, "Hey, do you mind saving me some?". - Boom. - They just felt like they were all, 'cause they were clearly watching. - If you cared about the sandwich so much, say something. - 'Cause what's weird to me too. is that they were sitting there and they all were aware.

They're like watching him eat the sandwich. - [Angela] That's what I'm saying. - And then they're mad at him afterwards. I'm like- - And then he goes- (beep). - [Shayne] Point it out while it's happening. - You are so correct. - And then he felt so bad. He goes, "I'll go to Subway. "I'll go get a pizza.". And they go, "No, Alan. "It was from a local shop, Alan.". - Yeah, they all noticed him doing it. Like, that means you're aware of, go get some then. - And then he feels so bad he's texting, and they won't even text him back. 'cause they want him to suffer. I think he's talking about being different. than the other people, and he probably eats differently, and he's waiting around.

I think the fact that he waited an hour, and he's saying he's hungry. He knows that he wants to eat more. He's hungry, and he's patiently waiting for them. And then they probably are, I don't know, I just-. - Well, I think what it adds context for me. that I feel bad for him is like this woman called him a pig. And, you know, he's very aware in his writing here, so I'm sure his friends are aware of his awareness.

of himself and feeling bad, and he's acknowledging like, "Yeah, this is my body type. "All my friends are really awesome and attractive, "and I am not.". And I feel bad for him. So all of this stuff they're saying to him, it's like, dude, he already, you know this hits harder. Like, this hits harder in a different way for him. - And do you think that's gonna help? Like, you think what you're saying to me right now, do you think that's gonna help me? You think that's what I need to hear? No. - Regardless of the politics of food at a party,

I do feel for him because I'm like, damn, you have a bunch of friends. who you're saying are not your same body type, and they're all making you feel bad. I just think it does feel, and maybe I'm wrong. for feeling like it is being a bit blown out of proportion. where you're not talking to him. Like, damn, have a conversation. Be like, "Hey man, in future gatherings, "can we talk about like this stuff? "'Cause clearly this is a thing.". I don't know. - There could be a POV where this has happened before,

many of time. - [Shayne] Sure. - So it's like this could be the straw. that broke the camel's back. It's like, "Alan, whenever we have a party, you eat the,". maybe he's conscious of it this time. He is like, "Okay.". - Yeah. - Yeah, I think punishing him for feeding himself. after he's very much waited for everyone to get fed. - And didn't get his wings that he brought that he loves. - Yeah, gets really, really bad. - Yeah. I can't say this with like...

I wanna say this, but this needs more context, but a part of me does feel like they're enjoying. like ganging up. - That's what I'm saying is like it feels-. - It feels a little bit like that. - Vindictive. - It just feels like they're-. - Yeah. Like I said, I'm like, they're sitting there watching him eat it. - That one gets me. - [Shayne] That's weird. Like (beep) say something. - And you do make a point. about vocally he could have said anyone want, but it does feel like time-wise, he did the right thing. He waited long enough. - A whole hour. - He could have said something. Like, he could have vocalized,

but it did feel like there was a lot left. and that there were other foods around. It felt like he had the green light, that he was like, exactly. - There was tons of opportunities for them to go get food. or like I said, all they had to do was say, "Hey Alan, do you mind saving me like a couple, "like a foot of that sandwich. "We wanna save a foot of it for tomorrow.". - [Angela] Yeah. - Just communicate. - What was the event? - They're just getting together to watch a UFC fight. - Okay. - Feeding yourself is like kind of a vulnerable thing.

And when you're sharing and you're sitting around a table, it is like a thing. It's like a... And to just like beat your friend up. - And I do feel bad 'cause he's like, "Hey, I'll...". He's trying to remedy it. He's like, "I feel bad. "You're right, I (beep) up. "Let me try to remedy it.". And they're not letting him. And that to me feels very much like they're enjoying. making him feel bad. But let's see the comments. "You're the asshole. "Eat before you go to a party, so you don't do that again.

"I'm also a heavy eater. "I'd never even consider eating that much of something. "at a party or get together. "Letting it sit for an hour doesn't mean anything. "Others might have just been waiting to grab it. "after the fight. "You said in a comment you polished it off during the fight. "The wings prove the point. "You were bummed that others ate all the wings. "and you didn't get a chance to have any, "just like the people complaining. "about the sandwich they brought.". Someone else, said, "Everyone sucks here. "You were wrong to have almost all of the party sub. "It was selfish. "The host's girlfriend should not have shouted at you. "She caused a scene and made things uncomfortable.

"Your offer to order more food was a good enough apology. "for getting carried away with the sub. "It may well be the case that you do this often. "and your friends are all a bit sick of it. "Shouting at you and causing a scene. "is not the way to bring it up. "But it might be worth considering that your behavior. "around food might be a source of irritation in your group.". I think some of that is fair. - And maybe this is just a whole room of hangry people. - Like I said, I feel sorry for him. I feel sad for him. - Yeah. - It just sounds like some honest communication.

in this group, and it just sounds like they don't do that that. So that sucks. Anyways, I'm gonna remember this story as we read it. "Am I the asshole for making fun of my boyfriend's penis?". - Ooh, I'm excited but I'm scared. (everyone laughs). - Ooh! Okay. - I've made fun of my boyfriend's, I don't have a boyfriend now, but in the past I've made fun of a boyfriend's penis. - Okay, we're off to a start. - Okay, the head was really big.

and it looked like Darth Vader's head. (everyone laughs). So I was like (mimics Darth Vader breathing). - Okay. "Upfront, my boyfriend has an awesome penis. "It's not huge or anything, about seven inches, we measured, "and fairly girthy, "but it is really, really even comically small. "when it's flacid, like two inches. "In the privacy of our relationship, "I playfully make fun of it all the time, "and he doesn't mind because he knows. "that he pleases me in bed. "However, he has complained in the past.

"about how much he hates locker room moments. "when other dudes see it and assume he is hung like a grape. "even though he is not. "So the other night we were having dinner with friends. "and played a game where we pulled word cues out of a hat. "One of the cues was something like 'things that are short.'. "And I wrote down my boyfriend's penis. "They were-". (Chanse laughs). Damn. "They were all read aloud. "And when it's revealed that I wrote that particular answer, "the room explodes in laughter. "My boyfriend tries to brush it off. "'Oh, you got me, haha,' and laughs with everyone else.

"Then one of my boyfriend's male friends. "who he goes to the gym with-". - Oh my god. - "Slaps him on the back and tells him, "'Oh, we've all seen it. "'We still love you, bro.'. "More laughter. "After we get back to his place, "my boyfriend tells me that it bothers him. "that his friends think of him as the small guy. "because all they had seen is his flacid penis. "in the locker room. "He said that they've made fun of him in the past, "and he has to brush it off for years. "because he feels that denying it would make a bigger deal. "out of it than it is and has to silently take it.

"He said that by making that joke. "all I have done was reinforce the perception. "that it will just fuel the teasing. "He wasn't mad, just disappointed. "He said that he would never make fun of me. "if I had something unappealing about my body. "because he would never want. "to give me a negative impression about myself.". - Oh. - "That he would tell me I was beautiful no matter what. "I felt really, really bad when he said that. "I have apologized and things are fine now. "But I think that maybe he is blowing this. "out of proportion. "Am I the asshole. "or should he maybe not take this so seriously?

- Oh, it's complicated. - It is a pretty complicated one. I do remember this now. (sighs). - It's very complicated. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Is it? - It is kind of complicated, yes, 'cause there's trust in the relationship, and there's self image and body image, and he's feeling inadequate, and she's helping to this inadequacy, even though it's not true, but the perception is true of him and his friends. And there's also like, he's like,

"I would never do that to you, "so why would you do that to me?". - Yeah. - I wanna be treated the way... - [Angela] Yeah. - Right? And these people who like maybe are growers. and then he is like, "Nah, little (beep)". They're just trying to team up on him, and he feels ganged up on, and she's adding to this. He's like, "No, you're supposed to be in my corner. "We're together. "We're a team in this. "And you're also helping them? "Don't do that. "Have my back.". Even if he had a small, even if he wasn't a grower, "Tell 'em I'm a shower. "You're in my corner.

"You're the one who knows. "Tell everyone I'm a shower.". Just show it off. Show off a little bit. - Yeah. - [Chanse] I don't know. - Yeah. - But then there's also like, take a joke. Like, you say you have a seven inch (beep). You got it. You don't need to show, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. - Not you doing this. (crew laughs). - Like, that's a perfectly sized (beep). Seven inches is perfect. You have nothing to prove. You have a girlfriend that loves you. Who cares? Get over it. - Yeah.

I guess-. - You are Kenough. (Shayne laughs). - You are Kenough. I think my (sighs). I just think in most situations I feel like, going back to like rules, I think a good rule to have, unless you really are a couple who has established. that this is not necessary and you're both cool with it, making fun of your partner's genitals. in front of a bunch of people's probably-. - [Chanse] Yeah. - 99 times out of 100 not good.

Like, not gonna go over well. I also like, you know, we do a ton of comedy here at Smosh. and we've done it for years. I kind of for myself have just learned like jokes. about people's bodies just rarely good. - No. - Rarely go well and most of the time hurt someone. 'Cause it's just something you can't change. - There's such a way to do it too. - [Shayne] Yes. - I think I've made a short (beep) joke even about you. and about a couple people at Smosh,

but there's such a finesse. Like, you have to do it in such a joking way. that you're like-. - There also has to be, it depends on the conversation, 'cause like I bring that stuff up, right? I make that joke and I own it. And if we're in that space and it's coming, there's still like an element of respect in it. - Trust too. - And that's also, this is like as vulnerable as it gets. in this story, right? And like as a dude, I mean it's just the most intense thing.

Well, it's also, this is one of those things, it's similar to, I'm sure there's comparisons for women, but it is really one of those strange things. where it almost matters. because it's in front of a bunch of bros. - Yes. - [Shayne] Strangely. - Of course. - A straight man in front of his bros almost matters more. than if you're in a room full of women, because it's like, oh dude, I don't want my bros to know that. - That's what it felt like it mattered. when the friend piled on. Not when she did something. It was when his buddy.

So that was my question. What's going on in these locker rooms really? So what's like-. - He's not hard, so it's not big, so they only see it when it's small. - Yeah, are you really looking at it? - No, they're not really looking. But you can kind of like, when someone's like hanging, you're gonna see it. If it's just like little, it's like, it's little. It's just like you can't not, it's periphery. It's like I can see a computer over there. I can see Shayne. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like, I can see things. - And you're talking. - You're talking, you're doing shit. - Yeah. - And so like they, I get what he's saying,

they always think it's small. - He never told her that they've ever made jokes, so that might've been the first moment. - But then they pile on when she makes that joke, and he goes, "We've seen it," or something like that. - I think what probably hurt him is he was like, it's one of those things. where you know what people might be thinking, but it gets solidified and he goes, "Oh, all my friends probably think I have a small penis.". And then in that moment they go, "We all think you have a small penis.". And he's going, "Okay, now there's no doubt. "I have to now-". - Yeah, it could have been before. Like, "Oh, that's in my head.

"They're not like even looking at my dick.". - She had a moment there where she could have been like, "Well, his penis, we call it Bruce Banner. "'cause it turns into the Hulk.". - Boom! He's a grower not a shower. - Just do something like that. Have that moment, like yes, make that joke, but then also recognize the situation, and go, "Oh, but let me-". - Oh, but let me be clear. - Yeah. But yeah, to just leave it there sucks. - Brutal. - It's pretty brutal. - Left him hanging. - And it wasn't, you know, it wasn't...

It wasn't really a tee-up that that was her only option. It's like things that are short, and she just threw that out there. It's like you didn't have to. I get it if he was making a joke. - Yeah. - And she's like, "Aha, yeah, whatever.". But if he was saying jokes on that level, then yeah. You know, then you've entered that arena. - [Chanse] Yeah. - Yeah, I can't help but think. if he made a joke about her body... - That's what I mean, just jokes about people's bodies is really-.

- It's not okay. - He did say he didn't. He did say, "I would never say these things to her. "or treat her that way.". - That's what I'm saying, it's just like not okay, yeah. - We have established from this story. that he did not say anything. And it's also just not clever to me anymore. - No. - It's just like, yeah, okay, cool. Every single dick joke was made 50 years ago. - Yeah. - Anyways, so comments here. "Very much you're the asshole. "and how dare you claim he is overreacting, "considering he seemed to react very calmly and reasonably. "and was quick to forgive you, "considering how incredibly out of line you were.".

Someone else said, "You're the asshole. "He wasn't blowing things outta proportion. "Never insult your partner's looks jokingly or not, "and definitely don't do it in front of all of his friends. "I get playful banter at home, "but doing it in front of his friends. "is just straight up mean.". Someone else said, "You're the asshole. "Penis size is an incredibly sensitive topic for many guys, "for various reasons. "Making fun of your SO publicly. "about something he has already admitted. "being insecure/upset about lacks some tact. "and empathy on your part. "But it's not an end of the world situation.

"This is just a learning moment. "Build up his confidence, boast about your man to others, "and be openly proud of him. "Or, you know, just don't talk about his (beep). "to other people.". (Angela laughs). Yeah, I think I agree with that. All right, next one. "Am I the asshole for wanting to play COD on Christmas. "instead of spending time with my wife and kids?". - Oh, interesting. - Hell yeah, dude. "My birthday is on Christmas day. "I've always spent my birthday celebrating Christmas. "and never do anything I want. "My son is three, and my daughter is six months old.

"I spend a lot of time with them and my wife. "and barely see my friends anymore. "This Christmas I just wanna play COD with the boys. "They're all going to be playing COD. "on Christmas/my birthday, and I don't wanna miss out. "They're never online at the same time. "My wife is incredibly angry with me. "and wants to throw my new Xbox out the window. "I'm angry because I just wanna play COD with the boys. "on my birthday. "Am I the asshole?" (laughs). - This is kind of one of those legend and asshole.

- It's a legend, but he's an asshole. I'm sorry. For me, this is so clear cut. I'm like, it's Christmas day. You have a three-year-old. I'm sorry, man. Like, you know, you gotta, you can't. - You gotta play COD or you gotta be with the family? - You gotta, you gotta, you gotta-. (Angela laughs). - I'm still not sure. - Those are core memories. for that three-year-old potentially. Like, do not-. - What time is it? He's just doing it all day? Me trying to play COD with the boys. (Angela laughs). - Maybe there's more context that we need. I don't know. - I need so much more context.

- 'Cause like, look, if it's like, hey-. - How often is he with them? - To be honest, Christmas is all about, for me as a kid, if I put myself in the mind of a three-year-old, I don't have many memories when I was three, I was like four when I... - So you're saying it doesn't matter. You're saying-. - But maybe, if this kid's like me. But after like noon on Christmas, everyone just kind of (beep) off. - You do whatever you want. - [Shayne] In my Christmas experience. - Oh yeah, you're playing with the toys. - You play with the toys. - Yeah, you're done.

- You blow up the Sock'em Boppers. - The three-year-old should have a-. - So if he's playing COD at like 4:00 PM that day, dude. - [Angela] Dude. - Yeah. - Absolutely. - Unless. - [Chanse] Unless. - Unless the wife then has to take care of everything. - She's like cleaning up wrappers. She's like, "Can you please?". - Making cinnamon rolls. - He's crying like-. - So his birthday. is Christmas, right? - Making cinnamon rolls. - Yes, it's his birthday, but it's also Jesus's birthday. So it's tough. - Okay. Yeah, this feels like one of those toxic people. Not toxic.

But this feels like one of those people. that has a tie to the birthday itself. You know what I'm talking about? Where he's like, "It's the day. "I have to do something on that day.". Like, can't you take the day after to play COD? - Well, 'cause all of his boys are playing COD. - [Chanse] They're all playing today. (Angela laughs). - Which also it's suspect-. - [Chanse] And they're probably all their families. - Can't we celebrate your birthday the next day. and play COD the next day? - They don't have work. It's Christmas and his birthday. - But I assure you. that the next day you don't go back to work, right? - Yeah, but his boys, yeah, you know, typically no.

- I don't know. - It depends on what they do. We don't know what his boys do. - There's just so much downtime on Christmas. For me personally, I'm like, okay, what the hell am I gonna do now? Like, what we gonna do? - It's Christmas Eve that I think is like the magical one. - Yeah. - Christmas day usually is just kind of like... - Right. By noon I'm like-. - Surely the boys can fill out a doodle. and find a three hour time. - A doodle. - We could all play COD that's not on Christmas. - Let's see the comments here.

"You wanna spend your daughter's first Christmas. "playing COD with the boys? "Your friends and your birthday should not be more important. "to you than your children. "You're the asshole.". Someone said, "His daughter is six months old. "She won't remember. "Fair enough about the point. "on spending Christmas with family, "but he's allowed to have different values. "Millions of people don't celebrate Christmas, "and they have happy families.". Someone responded to that saying, "If his post indicated that he didn't celebrate. "or recognize Christmas for a religious reason, "my response would've been quite different. "I didn't tell my Jewish or Muslim friends they have.

"to spend Christmas with their families. "He doesn't have to like Christmas. "But if everyone else in his family does. "and there is no specific religious objection, "then he needs to work with his wife. "to meet everyone's needs.". Someone said, "Gentle you're the asshole. "It's tough having your birthday on Christmas. "However, you have kids. "You can play COD with the boys celebrating your birthday. "on the day before or after Christmas.". - Yes. - "Or any other day. "But you can't celebrate Christmas with your kids. "on any other day. "See if your friends can reschedule.". - Yes. - Someone said, "For (beep) sake,

"these selfish dad posts need to stop. "Yes, you're the asshole. "Have some (beep) common sense. "If you don't want to be a husband and father, "don't get married and don't have kids. "Holidays are for families, for the kids mostly.". Yeah, and you know what it reminds me of my? My grandma had a birthday right in the week of Christmas. So she just like- - She shifted it. - She just shifted her birthday to, I wanna say it was February. She's like, "We're gonna celebrate it then.". - That's legend. - Just moved it. And so my mom would still like call her on her birthday. near Christmas, but- - But just move it.

- For everyone else, 'cause she knew. - [Angela] Yeah. - My grandma's birthday's on Christmas, and we just always celebrated both at the same time. - It works out once you're like older. 'cause then all your family will be around. But probably when my grandma was younger. So there's some updates. - Oh my god. Oh my god, this is what we need. - Update. - [Chanse] Okay. - "Okay, I'm getting flamed here and I feel like the asshole. "but I still don't think it's a crazy ask. "I've never really celebrated my birthday. "I was lucky if anyone other than my brother.

"said the words happy birthday.". - Oh my god. - "My mom was super religious. "and made us spend every Christmas at church. "from 8:00 AM to 8:00 PM.". Really? Do people do that? Holy shit. - Yeah, people do. - "The only acknowledgement I ever got. "from my family was a cake after dinner. "and a pack of socks once. "I left home the day after my high school graduation, "and that's when I met my boys that I mentioned in my post. "We've been everywhere together, "have literally saved each other's lives, "and they are my brothers. "They've always made me feel like my birthday. "was actually my birthday and not just Christmas.

"My wife has done this too, "but not to the extent that the boys have. "Also, we haven't gotten together. "since before my son was born. "We all live in different states. "and never see each other anymore.". Edit number two. "Okay, I was not planning on playing all day. "I planned on opening presents with the family, "then hopping on with the boys around noon. "I get what everyone is saying, "but I still don't think it's a big ask. "Family time is incredibly important, "but I happen to think that COD with the boys is too.". He did that emoji.

So that kind of fits in with what I was saying. Around noon. - Around noon, clock in a little. - It's like, okay, man. - Hey, where we dropping? - Edit number three. "Thanks for the input everyone. "To clarify a few things, I will not be helping with dinner. "I never do and it's for the best. "My wife and I agree. "I spend a lot of time with my family.". (Chanse laughs). "I spend a lot of time with my family. "I always wanted to give them the dad I never had. "My dad is still around, "but was a drunk and has a new family now.

"I'm very close with my son. "and hopefully I'm just as close with my daughter. "once she's a little older. "My wife is convinced that the boys don't like her. "We've been together a total of 10.5 years, "and she's always said. "that they feel like she stole me away from them. "This is not true, and they have never indicated this. "When I do get to play, I don't shirk my responsibilities. "I always do what I have to, but mostly just play. "on the rare occasion that I get the house to myself. "What I'm asking for is uninterrupted time with the boys. "I haven't even thought of asking for this before.

"Doesn't seem to matter how long to my wife. "She doesn't want me online at all.". This is a bit of a untrustworthy narrator to me, because this is feeling very like to the 10th degree. Like, "She doesn't want me online at all. "She doesn't like my boys. "She doesn't want me talking to the boys.". - "I want uninterrupted time with the boys.". - I kind of wanna hear her side. - [Chanse] I wanna hear. Let her speak. - To really judge this. because this feels very emotional coming from him.

- Especially where he is like, "Oh, she doesn't want me helping with dinner.". And she's like, "No, I'd-". - She's like, "Please cut this onion.". - It would be so helpful if you unloaded the dishwasher. - Just cut the onion. Unload the dishwasher, please. - My wife and I agree. that I shouldn't do anything in the kitchen. - No. - Did she agree to that? - Who said that? Who said that? - Maybe. - Maybe. - Maybe. - But I would-. - [Angela] That's so true. - I can't take this post at face value. - That's really good. - Also it just feels like his attachment. to the boys feels a little attached.

- He ran away from home. - He's saying he hasn't gotten together for, and also, you know what I will also say, 'cause I get this a lot in these Reddit posts, giving his whole family backstory. It's like, cool, man. This is the situation today. I get your whole family backstory. Your wife has a whole family backstory. - I'm also hearing your dad has a new family. and you ran away from your family. You need family, bro. You need family. - It's like cool. You're throwing out a bunch of things to make us.

just side with you, as opposed to talking about what you didn't give. was how long you're planning to play today. - Yeah. - What chores, what responsibilities your wife. is gonna have all day today, what your wife maybe has already planned. for your birthday this week and everything. He's not giving us any of the important information, but he's giving us all the information. to like bolster his side. - Like, I earned this. I earned this. - Yeah, it's a little, lightly as far as a Reddit post goes,

it feels a little manipulative towards the commenters. of like, here's why-. - Here's why you're wrong. - Before you answer am I the asshole, know that I'm a good guy. - It's one of these posts, it's a post where I'm like, hey, man, did you really wanna post on here? Like, do you actually want an opinion? All right, guys, this is the last story. - Okay. - It is the most insane story. "Am I the asshole for telling my boyfriend's mother. "she raised a (beep) sociopath. "who needs to be in a facility?

"So I, a 26-year-old woman, have a boyfriend who's 24, "and recently he got into a dispute. "with the neighbor's kids. "They accidentally kicked their football into our yard, "and they came into the garden to get it back. "To be honest, I didn't care, "but my boyfriend started screaming. "at these like 11-year-olds about how they're poorly raised. "and their parents should be ashamed. "I was fucking mortified. "I sent the kids some chocolates and sweets. "and apologized profusely for his behavior. "I was seeing red flags.

"and told him this behavior was not normal. "He kind of brushed me off, "and I told him if he pulled anything like that again, "he was gone. "The next week, the ball came into our garden, "and I was about to throw it back to the kids. "when my boyfriend stormed outside and took the ball inside. "I told the kids that I would bring it back in a minute. "He went into the bathroom. "and emerged like 10 minutes later wearing gloves. "and a football covered in shit. "His own shit. "What the (beep). "I asked him if he was out of his (beep) mind,

"but he stormed past me and threw it over the fence, "screaming, 'Take that you, bitches!'". - Shayne. (crew laughs). - Okay, just give us a second. Now we're ready. Yeah, yeah. - "I screamed and, girl, I mean, screamed at him. "about how he was a (beep) douche, "and I wanted him out of my house. "and he is a disgusting (beep) monster, "that they were just kids. "I screamed and screamed and eventually he left.

"I deleted all his games off his PS4. "and gave it to the kids as an apology. "I was so embarrassed. "My ex-boyfriend's mom messaged me asking what happened, "and I responded with, 'What happened? "'What happened?'". - Yeah, right. - "You are a pathetic excuse of a woman who raised. "a (beep) sociopath." - No, wait, wait. Whoa, wait. - "Who covered a football in his own shit. "and threw it at some kids, and he needs to be in a facility. "because something is wrong with him. "and God knows how I hadn't seen any red flags. "about the (beep) monster you raised.

"during the seven months we dated. "I know I'm in the right for what I did to my boyfriend, "but am I in the wrong for snapping at the mother. "for something she had no direct involvement in?". So that's-. - Poop ball. - Look, man, I know there's a lot of fake stories on Reddit. This one, I believe 'cause it's just like the details of it. and the way it like is layered and how she is not, she's like, "I'm not the asshole for this stuff. "Am I the asshole for how I reacted to the mom?".

I'm like, I think this is real, man. And it's nuts. This goes like, dude... - I just... He... (Angela laughs). - Do you think it was on top of the ball. or all around the ball? - I think it was all around it. - So he had to put his hands to-. - That's why the gloves, that's what the gloves were for. - You know what, somehow, the gloves somehow make it worse for me, 'cause I'm like, that makes it more clinical. That makes it more like-. - [Chanse] Calculated. - Premeditated, calculated.

I'm like, he literally was like-. - There was intent. - Yeah, there was intent. - I was so mad I shit on a ball. No. No, no, no. I got gloves from somewhere. that probably weren't in the bathroom. and covered a ball in shit. - I'm begging you, I really wanna read her monologue as a monologue to her mom. You know what I mean? - What happened? What happened? - Okay. (laughs) - [Shayne] Give it to us. - Thank you. I'm auditioning. for the University of Michigan's musical theater program. (everyone laughs). Okay. - [Chanse] Okay.

- So you have to be his ex-boyfriend. Ask me what happened. His ex-boyfriend's mom. - So what happened? - What happened? - Oh, it's too much already. - Okay. (crew laughs). - I don't understand, what happened? - What happened? What happened? You are a pathetic excuse of a woman. who raised a (beep) sociopath. who covered a football in his own shit.

and threw it at some kids who needs to be in a facility. because something is wrong with him. And God knows how I haven't seen any red flags. about the (beep) monster you raised. during the seven months we dated. - And then it cuts back to the theater room of the Oscars. and it's on you, and you're like...

(crew applauds). - Thank you. This doesn't make sense at all. Like, what a weird- - It's really bad. - What a weird... - Angela Giarratana, poop ball. (everyone laughs). And the Oscar goes to Octavia Spencer. (everyone laughs). - I botched that because it doesn't make any sense. - I think it's more, it's like almost like, "Are you serious?". - Why'd she send this to his mom? - I mean, I think she's in a bit of shock right now.

- The woman is saying what happened? Oh, he told you and you're still taking his side? What happened to me? No, no, no. What did he tell you that you're saying what happened? Because you clearly already know something happened. - So I needed to do some scene study before that. - Yeah, it's okay. We'll workshop it. - Some comments. "You're the asshole for sending the message. "'cause I'm sure she would've maybe understood. "how angry you were if you came across nicer. "But wow, I can't even imagine being in your position. "Has he done anything like this before?

"Edit, I did not mean that OP is the asshole. "for the entire situation. "It's a very soft you're the asshole. "Sorry for any confusion.". OP responded, "No, I always thought he was calm. "It came completely out of the blue.". Someone else said, "Everyone sucks here. "Your ex is a madman, and yeah, I'm all for dumping his ass. "and kicking him out of your house. "But his PS4 was not yours to give away. "And to be honest, while it's possible. "that mother did a terrible job raising him, "you yelled at her and berated her. "for stuff her grown ass adult son did. "That's super uncalled for.".

OP responded, "I paid for the PS4.". - Woo! - Oh, so that's cool. - Come on down to the cafe. Oh no. - Reminder, he's 24. Like... - Oh no. - Fully grown. Someone said, "You're the asshole. "Sometimes kids grow up to be wonderful. "because of the parents who raise them. "and sometimes they're serial killers. "I wouldn't have assumed it was her fault. "And now she has reason to say something similar. "to your mother.". - Also, didn't the mom just ask what happened?

- Yeah, that's the only context we have is she's just like, "Hey, what happened?". - 'Cause that says he is not telling me everything. that I need to know and I'm coming to you. I'm like, I know he might be-. - I'd be curious how the mom texted that or phrased that, 'cause if she just goes, "Hey, like you guys broke up. "What happened?". - Yes. - Or like, you know, as opposed to, "What did you do to my son?". - Is that what it says? - No, it's just said she messaged her saying what happened? That's why I'm like, okay, yes-. - It should have been a phone call. - But I think she had so much going on in her head.

- [Chanse] Yeah, 100%. - You just witnessed a traumatic thing. - Yeah, you're right. - That's insane. - It just needed a little more communication. - Totally. - It's like, you know, like when you're fighting. with your partner and then you have that one moment. where you get to be like (beep) crazy and irrational. and you just like unleash? It happened to his mom. Like, you know, like she didn't do it to him. - Well, she's probably scared of him for good reason. - He covered a ball in shit with gloves. - Yeah, I gotta be honest, if I watch someone cover a ball in shit.

and throw it at some kids, I'm probably not gonna try to, I'm probably gonna be like, I'm outta here. - So she was like, "Let me scold your mom instead of him.". Yeah, I get that. - I don't get that. I mean, I get it, but I don't like-. - I don't, yeah. - It's not the right move. - [Chanse] No. - No. Bro, the perspective of those kids. Those kids had a "Stranger Things" like story. (laughs). This is a kids on bike situation where they're like,

"Dude, we all experienced something together. "that will bond us for life.". - Bond us for life. You're never forgetting the poop ball. - If an evil clown comes outta the sewer, they're gonna be like, "We got this. "We have handled way worse.". - They're like... (Shayne laughs). - I mean, dude. - Holy shit, when you get this ball. - It's a bit of a gift to those kids. Those kids, they're gonna meet up when they're 40 years old. and be like, "Poop ball, dude. "Yeah, dude, poop ball.". - Like, what's up? How are you? Yeah, we've been through the shits together.

- And it's like, yeah, "It 2" when they come back as adults. - Well, that's poop ball. Those are some of the best Twitch classics. - Those are some really good ones. That's like reading the Old Testament. - They're very good. Reading them for the first time live on Twitch was insane. 'cause it's like ooh. - Poop ball. - But you're getting the chat's like, whereas nowadays we do these and then I see the comments. and sometimes comments point out something that I'm like, oh man, I didn't think of that or oh man, I was wrong there.

But it's a blast. It's a total blast. - Gosh, this show and these people. (Shayne laughs). - But these people are everywhere. - Yeah, they're all over the place. - What do you even do with it? Do you just keep it in your yard? - Yeah, what did they do? - Did the parents, the parents have to come get it? - Probably hose it off and throw it away. (Angela gags). Or just throw it away. I don't know. Burn it. - No, not hose it off 'cause then it's in your yard. Not burn it. - Anyways, thank you both for being here.

- [Angela] Thank you. - This has been great. And thank you guys for watching. You know, we have a lot of fun here, and we'll be here again next Saturday, so join us then. Next week we will have a special guest. Thomas Sanders will be here. And we're gonna be reading stories. This has been a heavily requested episode, so you'll wanna tune in. We're gonna be covering some good stuff. So we'll see you then. Bye. - Go play COD with the boys. - Go play COD with the boys.