I'm Sorry, WHAT? | Reading Reddit Stories

- Welcome back to "Reddit Stories.". I'm Shayne. And today's theme are stories that make you go, "What?". Which I feel like are all Reddit stories that we read here, but these ones especially. There's one story that I have read, and it is so funny. Joining us today are Arasha and Amanda. - What? - Who? - Huh? - Where? - Why? (Amanda groans) - There you go. You get it. - [Arasha] Yeah. - You understand. - And that's all we have to contribute. - Yep. Bye.

- Okay. Let's just hop into it. - Okay. - Deal. - [Shayne] All right. - What? - This first story is from like two days ago. (Amanda gasps). Recent. - What? - Fresh. - I know. Huh? - Let's get a "what" count. Let's get a "what" count. - Oh no. - Okay. "Am I the asshole. "for telling my friend she is ruining her child's life. "with the name she gave her?". - Oh. - We've had stories similar to this, but-. - Need more. Yeah, we need more. - Okay. This is a 21-year-old woman. "So I have been friends with Loreen, who's 22,

"for 17 years now, and we're really close. "She recently gave birth to her daughter, "and she and her husband recently told us the name. "They decided to name their daughter...". So they named their daughter Juliet, spelled G-H-I-U-L-I-Y-E-T-T-E. - Oh. It just kept going. - And her middle name is Mariah.

M-A-H-R-I-Y-A. - Oh. - "I thought the spelling was a joke. "until she told me they are serious. "I told her that with that spelling. "of a simple but beautiful name, "it's just going to ruin that little girl's life. "She got mad and told me to stop ruining her mood. "and that I'm being mean. "I'm completely honest, the spelling is just bad. "Nothing else can explain it. "Why ruin such a beautiful name by including letters. "that don't belong there? "I texted her yesterday.

"and told her that the little girl will try. "to change her name or at least go by her middle name. "since it's normal. "She told me to stop texting her, that I'm a bad friend, "and that I'm being the asshole for making fun of the name. "I don't think I am. "When I told her that the spelling is just bad, "she went crazy. "She told me that I'm the worst friend ever. "and that I would never be able to see her daughter again. "After that, her husband sent me an email. "telling me to stop being so disrespectful. "He thinks the spelling is cute. "and it just makes her unique. "Unique, yes. "But that's just going to make that little girl suffer, "and she'll probably be bullied for that spelling.

"I haven't replied, "and honestly I don't think I'm the asshole here, "but I thought I'd ask Reddit. "since y'all are the best to judge. "So am I... "So am I the asshole for telling my friend. "that the name she gave her daughter is bad. "and will ruin her life?". - Can we get that spelling just one more time? - Juliet spelled G-H-I-U-L-I-Y-E-T-T-E. So like Studio-. - So like Ghirardelli.

- Juliet. Studio Gibliet. (crew laughs). I think if I looked at this I would either say, I would maybe go with Juliet or like Guliet or something. - Yeah, yeah. - Julia Gulia. - Guliet. - Gillette. - Can I see what it looks like? - Gillette. - I'm a visual girly too. I gotta see it. - Gwilet. - I think I would say Ghirardelli. - Yeah. Ghirardelli. - Goolet. - All right, what are your thoughts?

- You go. - Yeah, she's the asshole. Back up. - Oh. - You have nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with you. - Interesting. - It's their kid. They can name it Frankenstein for all they care. (Shayne laughs). It has nothing to do with this woman. She needs to back up. Here's one thing I found out, I have sisters, do not tell them how to raise their children. Do not give their opinion on their names. - Okay. - I love that. - Honestly, that's my tea. Tea? Take.

- And truth and tea. - All right. - You know, I feel like I was, I'm bringing in so much of my personal experience here. because I grew up with a name that was so often pronounced. like it was spelled F-G-H-I, like all these like random letters, like people would just misspell it or mispronounce it, and it was sure, like frustrating, but by no means was my life like suffering.

because of my name spelling. - [Shayne] Yeah. - I mean, mine also I think is a different case. because my name is spelled just like its sound, just like it sounds. So I agree with you in that it's quite dramatic to say like, "No, no, no, no. "Like, you cannot do that.". Like, it's funny to joke once and be like, "Yikes, you sure?". But to just consistently be like-. - And then get an email of it's like, "Leave us alone.".

- Yeah. - And it's like, "Oh, you really-". - Yeah. - What do you gain from this? - She's acting as if it's like personal stake. Like, if she was naming the child. and it was a disagreement among the couple, that's a different story. But she is simply on the outside of it. I think her opinion was not asked, and it is just being given and reinforced. So a little bit of yeah, what Amanda said. I think back up. - Yeah. - This is a very light relation,

but, you know, my name is not spelled like normal Shane. - Right. - Right. - I have the Y in it. - Why? - It's never really bothered me. - Yeah. Why? I'll never have a coffee mug, like I'll never have a souvenir with my name on it. You know, it's always Shayne without the Y. You're one of us. It has not ruined my life by any means. And I also, and maybe this is like just being out here. knowing a bunch of actors, like I feel like I know so many people. with very unique names. I am not someone who thinks twice about it. Like, I don't really care about people's names.

to that degree. - I mean, my husband's name is Hardzei, and it's spelled H-A-R-D-Z-E-I. And of course people are like, "Whoa. "Oh, what? "I can't believe it!". But then they move on, and then we all get on with our day. - Yes, yes. It's not something-. - And he's never gonna have Hardzei spelled on a cup ever. - Right, but it's just, it's like a quote unquote "the price you pay". for having a very unique name. - It's cool. - I actually, yeah, I think it's kind of like, okay, again-.

- It's a lot though. - The spelling is a lot. Like, we're not-. - It's a lot. We can all agree it's a lot. - Yes. - The Mariah though, it's like, all right, it's spelled Mariah. - Yeah, yeah. - But, you know, she also like later on says like-. - It's fine. - You know, your daughter's gonna end up going. by her middle name or something since that's normal. And it's like, okay, maybe she will. - Yeah. And what about that? It's also just like, you know, I think what my problem with it.

is that it's assigning emotions to like somebody. who isn't even able to advocate for themselves yet. - Fair. - Like, let them ultimately decide. how they're gonna feel about their name. But if this friend is in the life being like, "Yeah, your name sucks. "I tried to tell your mom," like, that's just gonna-. - Let me save you. - Yeah. - [Amanda] Let me take you from this horrible home. - Don't be the hero right now or try to be. - Yeah, 'cause even no matter how bad the name is. and you go, "That's a bad name,". it's like, well, like, what are you gonna do? Like, you can't...

This was gonna be the outcome if you try to shame someone. for what they're naming their kid, no matter what you think of it. And like there are a lot of parents. who name their kids crazy shit. - Yeah. - Did she apologize? - No, not as of this, I don't think she did. That's also what's kind of missing. We know that she said, "I told her that with that spelling, "it's just going to ruin that little girl's life.". That's all that was like... Oh, and then, "I texted her yesterday.

"and told her that the little girl. "will try to change her name.". So she kept doubling down. Like, she kept doubling down. It's like, okay, let up. I know me in this situation, I would not press it. Like, I'd be like, "That is what you're naming your child,". but also people can change their names, and, you know, I don't think Juliet spelled weird. is like a name that I would be too concerned with. - Right. - Like, you know, some people do have names. where I'm like, okay, maybe people will bully you in school. But I also think like school's brutal,

and it's like they're gonna find something to bully you for. - Right. - Regardless, - They're gonna find something. - Yeah. I think there's a lot going on inside of this one. that there's definitely a lot of context missing too. - Yeah. - But it's funny that she is the one telling this story, and she deliberately has like left out a lot of the details. in terms of like, like there might have been an apology. or there might have been more correspondence, but it's like even in the way. that she is telling this story,

we still kind of find it quite clear. that she is in the wrong. - Yeah. - Any comments? - Well, what I was gonna say is the verdict. is not the asshole, and the top comment-. - What? Who? - Why? - Actually that "what" was genuine. What? - The top comment here is, "Hi, I'm a high school teacher. "I'll tell you upfront that you're right. "Kids with (beep) up spellings of their names. "are miserable about three fourths of the time.

"It's difficult to spell, people mispronounce them, "and official documents, forget about it. "It's one of the ways we clock parents. "as potentially difficult. "I keep in touch with three students. "who change their names from their parents' spelling. "to the actual conventional spelling. "the minute they turned 18. "That kid will be Juliet spelled normally. "Mariah, M-A-R-I-A, as soon as she possibly can. "Not the asshole.". That's 25,000 up votes. - I actually-. - Whoa! - You know what? What I actually (scoffs).

I actually feel so bothered by that. - Really? - I don't agree with that all. - I don't agree with it either. - I actually am like-. - There are people from other countries. who have wild spelling that's totally different. - I think it's the language. that's really kind of upsetting me here. in that "(beep) up" versus "normal.". Like, we need to question these like rituals. Why are names spelled like a certain way? And just because it has been that way for so long, that doesn't mean it's normal.

That just means it's recent. or it's the pattern that has been created, but just because there's a new spelling. that's introduced does not make it abnormal. I'm starting. - Here here! - Oh, I'm heated. - Here here, to the town hall. - What? - But I'm also just like, this teacher's like, "Yeah, it's (beep) up. "(beep) (beep).". It's like, what? You're a teacher? - And you know what though? I also wanna acknowledge that I hear. where he is maybe coming from.

in that he has had direct experiences with a lot of students. and they have had a terrible experience with their names. Like, that sucks. And I think it's cool that he is saying like, "Hey, hold on. "Like, this is me trying to like, fight. "for, you know, this kid to not have a miserable childhood.". But I think at the end of the day, it goes back to the opinion was not asked for. - Yes. I agree. - I grew up constantly spelling my name to people, and I don't personally think that it made me suffer.

I don't think that it ruined my childhood or ruined my life. Yes, it certainly made me feel different. from the rest of the class. It certainly made me an outlier, but like it's kind of cool now. - Yeah. I'm curious, I think it's one that in the comments, if people commenting if they have names. that they can relate to this story. - Yeah. - What their personal experiences were.

and what they think of this too, you know? Like, I think, 'cause with my name, I can't really relate to that. But, you know, it's interesting. I think what's tough here is that these comments are talking. about the parents. and if they're assholes for naming their kid that, and what we're talking about is the etiquette of like, was it your place to give that opinion? Was it your place? Like, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - [Shayne] Like, there's two separate things going on. - So most people think that this woman.

who wrote that is not the asshole? - They're saying that she's not the asshole. for telling them that they're ruining their kids' life. - I actually just, I haven't been so angered. by a Reddit story before. I feel like I've been able to navigate both sides. for so long, but this one I actually am feeling so bothered by. - Interesting. - But again, I know it's, again, it's not the same as you too, Shayne, but it's also not the same as this person. because again, mine isn't as complicated.

It could be much more intricate, and it could be pronounced completely different. than how it's spelled. So I, in all fairness, can't also advocate. for that side as strongly too. - Well it's also, it's, you know, it's one of those things like these are our feelings. about it, but clearly people have different feelings regarding this. And so, you know, it's interesting. I'm curious. - Was it just the teacher that commented? - There were other comments, but that was like the most poignant, that was like the most upvoted one. - I see. - So I think it reflects a lot of the comments.

- Yeah. - Sure. - In the Reddit post, so, yeah. All right, well let's move on. - Let's move on. - Here's our next story. This is from 2016. This is a little old school. - I was in high school. - [Shayne] Well... - That makes me sick. (crew laughs). - Here we go. This is a 29-year-old woman. "My boyfriend, who's 32, gave away my 'Hamilton' tickets. "Am I being selfish for just wanting to break up over this?".

- What? - What? (crew laughs). Who? - Who? Why? - Why? - Based on that title alone, what do you think? - So he gave away the "Hamilton" tickets? - He gave away "Hamilton" tickets. - Okay, it better have been for a lot of money. - "Throwaway because while I'm fairly sure he. "or his family doesn't Reddit, "I would rather be safe than sorry. "Backstory. "My mom is genuinely one of the funniest, kindest, "sweetest people I've ever met,

"and I'm genuinely lucky to have been her daughter. "She had me fairly young, raised me by herself, "and while we were pretty poor growing up, "she did her damnedest to make sure. "that I got a good education. "and had everything I needed as a kid. "One of the things we share is a love of the theater. "She would save up and take me to all the musicals. "that stopped on tour in our town. "And while we were always in the cheap seats, "it was always something we both greatly looked forward to. "These memories of going to the theater. "with my mom are very precious to me. "and are one of the main factors. "in why I work in the entertainment industry today. "Corporate side, I have a horrendous singing voice, LOL.

"Fast forward to today, like most theater nerds, "my mom and I are basically obsessed with 'Hamilton.'. "And for those of you who aren't really familiar with it, "this show is basically impossible to get tickets for. "at this point, "unless you wanna see it in January of next year. "I'm lucky enough to be in a financial position with my job. "that I could afford tickets for a show in July. "for me and my mom. "These are amazing seats, fifth row center. "And through some type of divine intervention, "I managed to snag tickets. "for the night of Lin Manuel Miranda's final performance.

"I surprised my mom with these tickets back in December. "I bought them in October, I think, for Christmas. "I'm making a whole week of it. "I put us up in a really nice hotel, "I made reservations at a bunch of restaurants. "that we both wanna try, "and we're going to do a bunch of touristy shit in general, "plus try to see if we can fit in. "at least one other show before we leave. "We're both incredibly excited for this. "My mom even has a little 'Hamilton' countdown. "that she's doing on a mini chalkboard she uses. "as a planner. "She sends me pics every day when she changes it. "It's cute. "In January, I began dating this guy.

"that I'll refer to as Josh. "We were casual/not exclusive for a while, "but became serious within the last two months. "He also works in the corporate side of entertainment, "but at a different agency than I do. "He also has a higher position than me. "and makes a lot more money than I do. "This becomes important. "We met at an industry event, and we hit it off instantly. "I thought I could get really serious about this guy, "and up to this point there have been no red flags. "that I've seen, "although right now I'm sifting through all of my memories. "to see if there's something I missed. "He also comes from a much wealthier family than I do.

"Josh has a younger sister. "that I'll call Jennifer, who's 17, "that's kind of going through a big troubled teen phase. "She cuts class, smokes, "and is really disrespectful to her parents. "I've only met her once, "but as far as I know, she's not doing anything too bad. "She's just kind of a sad kid. "and could really benefit from some therapy. "I floated this by Josh, "but he said his parents are kind of disdainful of therapy. "in general. "Josh says they can't reach out to her. "no matter what they do, "and they've tried everything. "except trying to get her to a counselor, but whatever.

"Actual problem time. "Sunday night I was at my place with Josh. "We were drinking wine and cuddling. "while watching the Tonys, "Theater Award show," in parenthesis. - Oh, oh, oh. - [Shayne] Got it. I didn't know. - Gotcha. - "My mom was texting me during the 'Hamilton' performance. "and geeking out about how excited she was. "I laughed and showed my mom's text to Josh. "because I thought it was so adorable, "and he didn't say anything off, "but he was acting kind of strange after. "He asked me what date the show we were going to was. "I told him, "and then he went into the other room to take a phone call. "I thought nothing of it.

"because we both have to take random phone calls like that. "for our jobs all the time. "And he's going through some kind of tough time at his. "He was in an unusually good mood afterwards. "and said he had to go home early. "because he had to sign some forms. "at the office early tomorrow. "before we met up to go get brunch. "with his parents later that day. "Again, nothing too unusual. "and pretty common with the both of us. "He picks me up at work for brunch with his parents, "and again, he's in an unusually good mood. "I ask what's up, and he says vaguely. "that things are going well at the office. "and this deal he's trying to make is finally going through.

"I don't really press for info. "because we both try to avoid work topics, "partially due to work shit being fairly banal. "and partially because we both. "have to sign some pretty gnarly NDAs a lot of the time. "And this is only my second time meeting his parents, "so I'm still a bit nervous about brunch. "We get to the brunch place, "and the first thing his mom does. "when she sees me is gives me a huge warm hug. "and profoundly thanks me for my kindness. "Her dad also gives me a huge handshake. "and thanks me for helping out with Jen.

"I'm kind of what the (beep). "because I have no clue what they're talking about. "I ask what she means, "and she says for giving her the 'Hamilton' tickets. "I turn around to Josh, "and he just has this big grin on his face. "But, Reddit, that time my boyfriend was away talking. "on the phone for business, "he was actually on the phone with Jen promising. "that I would give her my 'Hamilton' tickets. "I was so thrown off by this that I, "kind of not very tactfully I admit, "say how I had no clue about this. "Josh looks pissed, and his parents are equally thrown off.

"But instead of getting mad at Josh, his mom just says, "'Well, you can still give them to her though, right?'. "And they all look at me. "like I'm supposed to just agree with this. "I try to explain. "that the trip is actually for me and my mom. "and how important this is to my mom. "All three of them start going on. "about how Jen is super excited about this. "and that this is the first time. "that she's not been mad/expressed happiness. "to them in a while. "And that's how the next half hour goes basically, "until the parents leave mad, "and the dad calls me a selfish cow.".

(Amanda gasps). "I'm so flabbergasted that I just sort of put up with it, "but I could barely get in a word. "Josh and I go outside the brunch place, "and he starts screaming at me about my selfishness. "and how Jen is going through a much harder time. "than they thought. "He wasn't clear on this, "so I'm not quite sure what he meant, "and that I'm being childish because it's just a musical. "I hate having arguments in public. "Also, this is one of my favorite brunch spots, "and I wanted to be able to come back. "without being embarrassed, so I wasn't really engaging. "He eventually called me a (beep). "What the (beep)?

"And then left in his car, "which is awkward as hell because it was a valet parking, "so he was just kind of stewing by the valet stand. "while I was waiting for my Uber. "Later that night, I texted him saying, "while I wasn't giving up my tickets, "there are still some available on that date. "However, they cost about $2,500. "due to ticket scalpers jacking up the price. "Believe me, this is not a problem for either of the parents. "or my boyfriend. "He literally bought a $3,000 watch for funsies last week. "The only response I got. "was that that was an exorbitant fee. "I agree, but not the point.

"He refuses to pay. "And he didn't understand. "why I couldn't just give the tickets to Jen. "I also got texts from both his parents pleading with me. "to get the tickets. "And also they forwarded an email to me. "that Jen sent to Josh and her parents. "thanking him for the surprise. "Apparently she's also obsessed with 'Hamilton'. "and this is making her year. "Also, we live in LA. "Do they also expect me to give up my plane ticket/hotel? "What the (beep) was their game plan here? "Look, I completely understand wanting to help out with Jen, "and I feel really bad. "that apparently her family is filled with weirdos, "but this has been all so baffling.

"and the entitled behavior they've displayed. "is a massive turnoff. "I'm not giving up these tickets. "Is this selfish? "But I also kind of wanna cut my losses here. "The attitude Josh displayed towards me. "outside of the brunch place was very unpleasant. "to say the least. "And he knows how disrespectful I find being called a (beep). "so I'm half of a mind to just break up with him. "He knew I had these tickets for a while, "and I don't get why he decided to do this now at all. "But should I contact Jen and explain at all? "I just saw that she made a really excited post. "on Facebook about it.

"I'm not friends with her, "but I am friends with my boyfriend and he liked her post. "I would straight up buy the ticket for her, "but frankly, I can't afford those prices. "because I'm saving up for the New York City trip. "for my mom. "How do I move forward?". Oh my god. - She should kill him. - Break up with that mother (beep). - I was reading it, I was like, "You know what? "Maybe he should die.". - He should die. - Maybe dump him and then, and then dump his body. Like, actually murder this man. - That is wild. - I, that, I, my... - Yes. - Everything inside me was shutting down.

- No, I'm gagged. - My system was like, voom. - Her comment where she's like, "I'm looking back and seeing all the red flags,". and I'm like, there's no (beep) way. this guy didn't have a million red flags. - Probably had a... I cannot believe the parents called her a selfish cow. - Cow? - Yeah. - What? What? - No, this family's a nightmare. - Okay, first of all, I'm really glad that, I was worried that he sold the tickets and they were gone. - Yes. - Yeah. - And I was getting really overwhelmed.

- Me too. I thought it was gonna be something with like the agency. where he was like, "I need to close a deal,". so he gave the tickets and I was like, "Uh-oh.". - And the mom was sending photos. She had a checklist. She was ready to go to "Hamilton.". It's their thing. - It's their thing. - Since they were young. Why would he take that? - Because he's evil and needs to die. (crew laughs). - Let's bury him under the brunch place. - Done. - Done. - Done. We're going. - It's been eight years, guys. - You coming?

- He could be dead. (laughs). - Let's look at the obituaries. - Here's the thing. Jen, I get it. 17-year-olds are going through a tough time, but tickets aren't gonna solve her issue. - And let's be clear, Jen's, her year's not gonna be ruined because of her. Her year's gonna be ruined because of her family. lying to her. - Yeah. - Lying and making up all this bullshit. And that they're not willing to just buy the tickets. for her. - She probably would be so upset. knowing that that would be taken away from this. - Yeah. - No, that's actually.

like just full of absurd ridiculousness. - Horrendous. - It actually just continued to unravel. and fully just stopped making sense at a certain point. It was that bad. - I feel bad for her. 'cause, you know, there's a lot of people like this. and like of people who they are so harsh on themselves. that they're not realizing how much of a monster someone is, 'cause at the end here, after she wrote out this story, she's like, "I'm not giving up these tickets,".

in parenthesis, "Is this selfish?". It's like, how are you questioning that? - What are you saying? - How are you possibly questioning that? - This is your thing that you worked hard for. - I completely like hear that though. Like, it's like you don't have that, this person has clearly never been validated. They've only been made to feel like that they are wrong, to doubt themselves, to be insecure about their thoughts. So they do have to genuinely reach out to a community. and say, "Am I crazy?". - I can only assume that this guy.

in their few months of dating has been so controlling, and she thinks it's normal. And this was finally where he, and he clearly thought he could just do this. - Of course. - Like, here she was talking about like, "I got tickets with my mom.". And he's sitting there going, "Oh, I can just take those.". - Yeah. - "Those are mine.". - You're so right. - He is so messed up that he's thinking just, "Yeah, I'll be able to,". and he assumed he would say that and she'd go, "Oh yeah.". That's what he thought was gonna happen. - He had so much control.

- And he was so mad when it didn't work. - Yeah, he called her a (beep). outside her favorite brunch place. That is a crime. - That is a crime. - Yeah. - And I love that she was like, "I wasn't gonna fight back. "'cause I wanna come back to this brunch place.". - Yes. I love that. - I know. I know. - I fully wanna say like it's, yes, it's like, it's heartbreaking. that she doesn't understand. that it is so selfish of him to do. But I do wanna take a second. and actually acknowledge how empathetic this woman is. - Yeah.

- And that gets taken advantage of. - Yes. In her whole response, she does not like blow her top at all. She's continuing to be like, "They called me this. "And you know what, I understand. "because they're clearly going through a lot. "in their family.". - It's like, you don't owe them that in this moment. - And it's like, oh, oh, honey. - [Shayne] Right. - You have clearly, you have so many great tools, and it sounds like she's had a great mother. who has raised her so right. - "Hamilton.". - "Hamilton." So cute, so great. - Let's also be clear. - [Arasha] They have a great relationship.

- Let's also be clear. They're going through a lot. They have the money to buy these tickets. - Right. - They could have just gone, "You know what, she's taking her mom. "That's a great idea. "We should buy tickets for Jen.". - Right. - No. - Like, no, they clearly, they don't wanna do shit for Jen. - Also, take Jen to therapy, man. - Yeah, actually like #TakeJenToTherapy. - Jen's miserable 'cause that's her family. - Exactly. - Yeah. Justice for Jen. - Yeah. - Justice for Jen and the brunch place. - No, I guarantee you Jen's probably like, "I (beep) hate them.". - I (beep) hate. Is there any update?

- No, but there's some comments here. - Lin didn't go on that night. - Top comment. "I would dump him. "It's not just about the tickets, but the lack of respect. "He chose not to tell you. "and waited for it to come out in public. "in hopes that you'd step down to avoid making a scene. "You sound like you have a good relationship with your mom. "Take her to the show. "Good moms are forever. "Boys are temporary.". That's so true. He waited. He waited till there was a bunch of people. at her brunch spot and-. - Controlling. - And let someone else say it, so that-.

- Controlling. - Doesn't have to be the bad guy. - He set up the whole chess trap. Insane. OP responded to that saying, "Yeah, I'm typing up an email dumping him right now.". - Email. - "Normally I think it's better to meet up in real life. "for things like this, "but his behavior both during and outside brunch was scary, "and I would prefer not to be alone with him right now. "Maybe that's paranoid, but better safe than sorry.". - Not paranoid. - "I think this is one of those situations. "where everything was so crazy. "and they were acting like this is totally normal behavior. "that I thought I was the insane one.".

Another comment. "There was a really similar post to this during Christmas. "where the OP made this beautiful cat vase. "for her mom by hand. "It took months. "And the boyfriend gifted it to his mom in front of her. "and expected the OP to just go along with it. "The OP said there was a mix-up. "and the boyfriend's mom was so crushed. "He reacted the same way this OP's boyfriend did, "yelling and calling her selfish. "So apparently stuff like this happens. "more often than you think.". Lastly, we have someone said, "Erase yourself from the narrative.".

- Queen. Queen. - Yes. - OP said, "All the 'Hamilton' puns in here are killing me. "in the best way.". I can only assume there was a bunch more. Yeah, no, I mean, look, I think at any stage in a relationship. if your partner calls you a (beep), that's... If you said, "You know, I'm gonna break up with him,". I'd be like, "Eh, that's fair.". Like, had they been married for 20 years. and this happened, that's grounds to get rid of an entire-. - Agree. - Absolutely. - This is like two months in.

This guy is a nightmare. - That one really made me go, "What?". - I have a feeling that shit's common. - Oh. - Also in the comments, let me know if that has happened to you. or if someone has done-. - Is that common? - I think like just that type of controlling behavior. of like- - Yeah, yeah. - Just being like, "That's mine. "Like, everything's mine.". - And just like treating other people around. like they are just your pawns. - Yeah. - It's just his family, and people around him that he cares about,

and oh, this girl? Oh yeah, well, her life doesn't matter. because she only exists as an extension of me. for the last few months. - You see where he got it from. I mean, his parents. - Yeah. - And Jen's like probably-. - Save Jen. - Living her life. She's probably a spiritual guru. at this point. - Oh God. Yeah. - Hopefully. - Justice for Jen, let's hear it. Let's hear it. - This episode of "Reddit Stories" is brought to you. by Factor Foods. If you're looking to eat stress free this spring, then check out Factor. They've got a ton of options. They're all chef crafted, dietician approved,

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while your subscription is active. Back to the show. Next story. - Okay. - Okay, so that story got you really pissed off. - Yeah. - This next story I have read, and it is the funniest Reddit story I've read. in a long time. It made me laugh so hard. - Okay. - All right, all right. - This comes from the Grateful Dead subreddit. for Grateful Dead fans. - It's the guy. - So my character on "Goldbergs" was a Grateful Dead fan. - Do you know what the Grateful Dead is?

- Grateful Dead's a band. They're a band from like the '70s, but they have a cult following. But they're a band. They're a great band. Jerry Garcia was the lead singer. And you know Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia? - Yeah, Cherry Garcia is-. - That's Jerry Garcia. - Jerry Garcia. - [Shayne] That's Grateful Dead. - Oh my god. I was always like, "Who's Garcia?". - It's a super influential band, but the the fan base for it is like hardcore. They follow, they are like-. - Deadheads.

- It's a whole lifestyle. - Wow. - It's a whole bunch of things. - Wow. - I actually went to a Grateful Dead concert. a couple years ago, and I luckily didn't get recognized by too many. I got recognized by one guy, but I'd played a Deadhead on TV for years, but I didn't actually know a ton about the Grateful Dead. - Oh. - So if someone came up and really grilled me, I'd have been like, "Yeah. (chuckles). "Like, you know I'm an actor?" - Jerry Garcia. - "You know I'm an actor, right?". But I have listened to Grateful Dead. Like, I made sure I wasn't like,

I was trying to do my part as an actor. - You did your research. - But it's like a bunch of old hippies, smoking a ton of weed, super chill true vibe. - Tie dye shirts. - They have songs that just go for like ever, and they're just riffing and it's kind-. - Oh, I love that. - It's very much a vibey type of thing. "Advice: I'm meeting up with a Deadhead woman I met online, "and I told her I was Jeff Chimenti's piano teacher. "I don't know anything about the piano, unfortunately. "Turns out her dad is in a Dead cover band,

"and he booked a show at his church in her hometown. "He wants me to play the show.". (Amanda laughs). So I believe Jeff Chimenti. plays like their concerts nowadays and stuff. I'm not entirely sure. - And what was the lie there? That he was-. - So he said he was his piano teacher. This professional keyboardist, he said that he was their piano teacher. Now he's talking to a woman online. - Why? - So they've never met in person,

but they've clearly been talking a long time. - Oh, so it's okay. - And he's like, "Yeah, I'm their piano teacher. "Hell yeah.". Just lying. And so now he's in a very curb your enthusiasm place. - Yeah. - Absolutely this was definitely a mistake. - "The show is next weekend. "This woman just told me he paid $4,000 to rent the church, "and they're going to name the vacation Bible school. "after him this summer because of the money. "His wife is (beep) pissed because the 4K was supposed to be.

"for their 40th anniversary trip to Alaska. "He's actually been staying. "at the woman I'm talking to online's house. "because the wife can't believe he did it. "This woman I'm talking to is a graphic designer, "and he paid her to design a poster. "that features my name prominently. "It looks like an old time movie poster. "She shared it on Facebook and tagged me, "and a bunch of people that know me were commenting, "'What the (beep)?'. "This dad just bought a B3 organ off a buddy for me to play. "He's invited all his friends.

"He's invited his ex-wife. "She also told me that his buddy is the drive time DJ. "on the small local radio station. "and keeps doing show announcements for this concert, "again, prominently featuring my name. "He owns a diner in town. "and has renamed all the lunch specials in the show's honor. "And one of the sandwiches, once again, "prominently features my name.". - Shut up. - "This is like the crowning event of this man's life. "How do I get outta this nightmare?". So this man has a week to learn piano. (laughs).

- Just to learn the basic. - No, he can't show up. - No. - He has to come clean. - And mind you, like I said, Grateful Dead stuff is like, it's long-. - Ride or die. - It's like riffing. It's like you gotta be good. - It's like jazz, right? - Yeah, I would say, I'm not a music person as people know. I would say yes-. - It's like jazz. - It's kind of like a, you gotta be good at music. and know how to go along. - You look at the person, you're like, "You got it?". And it's like an hour later, like (vocalizes). You know? - [Shayne] Yeah. - You know. - I know. - Jazz. - I know jazz. - There might be comments that are like,

"You're comparing Grateful Dead to jazz, and that's funny.". But I think just in the terms of like you gotta improvise. - I'm comparing it to how long it can go. Also Phish concerts. - [Shayne] Yeah. - How long they go on forever. - I would say it's comparable to Phish. But I'm not a music person, so don't get mad at me. - No, I love Phish. - But I would say he can't get away with the basics. on this one. - This is so funny. This feels like a "National Lampoon" movie. Like, it feels like a movie where I'm cringing. - It just feels like "Seinfeld.". Like, this is a George move.

- I was gonna say it's quite literally building. as an improv scene would. where it's just like the flyer's got the name on it, oh, and every diner in town is serving this big sandwich. - It just feels like, I picture Jerry and George at the diner, and Jerry's just like, "So you told her that you can play the piano?". He's like, "I told her I could play the piano. "Now I gotta learn. "Now I don't know what to do.". - I watched that show. (everyone laughs).

- You weren't born after that show was done. - Oh my god! Everything hurts! - I was born right here on this couch. - Everything hurts inside. - Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, top comment. "I'm racking my brain trying to figure out. "which song/'Seinfeld' episode this is from.". - Whoa! Whoa! - Yeah. Holy shit. - Also, this family just immediately believed him? - Well, I mean why- - They didn't fact check?

They didn't fact check? Google his name? - He must have gone in depth. because they've been talking online for I assume a while. And he's telling her-. - Why did he lie? - "I'm this guy's piano teacher. "I'm a piano player.". Like, he probably went all in 'cause he was thinking like, "This will really impress her. "When we meet up, I'll get laid.". That's probably what he is thinking. And now this is the outcome. - Also, this is what messes me up with cringey things, I am now thinking about the wife who can't go to Alaska.

That's what I'm really thinking about. - Yeah, there's an asshole inside of that too. - There's a bunch of shit going on here. - I'm thinking about this-. - I just love that this guy brought that up. 'cause he is like, "There's so many stakes now.". Like, he's just like, "Oh God.". - Probably a steak named after him. - What I do think is crazy. is that this guy just booked this venue. and put him in it without being like, "Do you want to play in it?". - Right. Where's the book letter? - You gotta ask someone if they want perform in a show. before telling them they're performing in a show.

- And the daughter's like, "Isn't it great, Dad?". - He needs to like put down Reddit. He needs to put his hand on a table and get a hammer. He needs to do something. - He needs to go on TaskRabbit and say, "Someone needs to help me get in a horrible accident.". - I need someone to attempt to assassinate me. - That is not what I would think he needs to do. He needs to come clean, people. - Oh, right, right, right. - He can't come clean. It's too late. He can't do it. - What're you guys saying? - He can't do it. No. He is too far gone. - No, no. You're right. He could get up there. and just start performing some standup.

- No, no. The funniest thing, the funniest thing he could do at this stage. is to just keep going. Like, just go there, get up there and be like... - What? - Hey, I made it this far. - In what world would you think that that's okay? - [Shayne] And just riff. - Look, and maybe the clout will carry him. - He goes, "One, two, three.". He plays "Chopsticks.". - Listen, clearly, clearly they care way more. about just this clout that he was the piano teacher. So I bet he goes up there and he performs like shit,

and they love it. They're like, "Oh my god, this is inspired.". - Yeah. Yeah. - No, guys. - He just needs to be like, "You guys aren't on my level.". - Oh my god. - Okay. Other comments. "Only one thing to do, show up and fake it. "Just hammer on the white keys. "Get real weird and naked during the performance. "And then when the show is over, "jump up on the piano bench and bellow out, 'Lordy Jesus. "'We went the way the (beep) out on that jam.'. "Then as you swagger out of the church, "high five anyone that looks engaged. "If you get a second date, then you know she's a keeper.".

Someone said, "OP, does your car have an airbag? "And are you attached to it? "Because you gonna need to hold the inside. "of the steering wheel. "and let that airbag break all 10 of your fingers.". (everyone laughs). - Wow. - "When you do this, "you need to listen to 'Going Down The Road Feeling Bad.'". Someone else said, "You're going to need to get some plaster casting material. "and just tell them you broke both arms. "Also, how old are you? "I would hope one of them noticed. "Jeff Chimenti learned piano in 1975.

"Or maybe you're 80 years old. "I want this to be real.". My thought is that this is an older dude. I've been picturing him as at least like-. - Oh yeah. - There's no update? - 60 or 70. No update. - I am loving everybody jumping on the bandwagon. of we are gonna tell you exactly how to execute this lie. - Yeah. - It feels like a Bill Murray movie. Like, honestly, it's like him and the cast just like, "Oh man, I wish.". - No, I love, look-. - Who? - (beep). - No. - I'm kidding. I'm kidding. - Okay, what movie was he in? - RIP.

- What movie was he in? - RIP? - He's alive. - "Goodwill Hunting.". I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I wanted to see all of you jump outta your seats, which I got. - What other movies he in? - All of you just went like that. - What other movies he in? - So what's the update? - She doesn't know him! She doesn't know who he is. She doesn't know who Bill Murray is. - [Arasha] Listen, you want me to-. (Shayne laughs). - You're losing your mind. - I'm gonna rip these tights off my legs. - What would you do in this situation? - I would confess! - What situation? - Well, yeah. Okay, to be honest, I would never get in this situation.

- A, I would never get in this situation. But me, Amanda, I can't stand the cringe. I would go, "I have an awful confession to make,". and then block her from everything. - I hate lying, and like I cannot do it, but I think it's so funny when people lie about shit. where you're just definitely not going to get away with it. Like, you're not gonna get away. My theory, I have a theory on this story after I read it, I think she knows for sure he's lying,

and I think this is all like a trick on him. - Oh. - To get him to come clean. - Then she's a keeper. - She's gonna break up with him after that. (laughs). - Honestly, if she's gonna go that far, I love that. - No, that's an amazing elaborate scheme. - I think she's known for a while. I think she's just like, I think as soon as he said that, she was like, "Really? "That's awesome.". And I think she's just been having fun with this ever since. - Oh, queen. - Oh, you're so right. I didn't even think that. - She's gotta be doing that, 'cause again, it's like we said, it's like it's comedic the way that this is escalating.

- Also, I don't think he's a Deadhead. as much as he's saying she is. So as a Grateful Dead fan, she probably knows a lot of this information. - You're right. - Probably tried to look it up. If she looked up Jeff Chimenti, like you're gonna get that result on Wikipedia. - Right, and she just was like, "Wait, even if you were his piano teacher, "I don't wanna date you 'cause you're 80.". - No. - I wish there was an update. - I know. It's only from a couple days ago, so it's recent. - That? - Let's Google. - [Shayne] That. - Deadhead piano teacher player. - No, Spencer sent it to me.

We were talking about it this weekend. He's just like, "Better start playing the piano.". Like, we were just like laughing at it. - That is so funny. We need to find all of these men. And bring them on. - And Bill Murray. We need to find him. - Yeah, yeah. - Just make sure- - Oh, but, you know, RIP. We won't find him. - Okay. Next story. This is a 42-year-old man. "I paid my wife, who's 42, for sex. "This seems like a-".

- Thanks for looking directly at me. - Amen. - 'Cause you were, you were. - You did? - You guys are sitting there laughing, and I'm like-. - I paid my wife, 42, for sex. - I'm like... - I feel like I gotta get outta here. - I wanted to see your reaction to it. Guys, we're gonna get through four stories. - Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. - Okay, this comes from Relationship Advice. - [Arasha] Okay. - "I, a 42-year-old man, paid my wife, "who's also 42, for sex. "This seems like a terrible mistake, "but I can't tell how bad yet.".

Okay. "I've been married to my wife for 14 years. "We have two daughters, eight and five. "For the first few years, we had a good sex life, "then it dropped back significantly. "She stopped instigating and would decline if I did. "When I ask, she has several reasons she rotates through. "We're too old, nobody has sex very often, "or she's too big now.". - Nobody? - People don't have sex anymore. - It's true. - I never have. - Nobody has sex. (everyone laughs).

"She gained a lot of weight, and I know it bothers her, "but I can't say which came first. "She always seems to believe we've had sex. "in the last week or two, even if it's been six months. "Since the kids were born, "we have sex three or four times a year, "usually twice around Christmas. "and once or twice in the spring and fall. "It's the same every time, "the way she's decided it should be. "I rub her back and neck. "She gives me a couple squeezes and tugs.". - Oh, I'm loving this. - Hold on, hold on. Let me read this. "I rub her back and neck. "She gives me a couple squeezes and tugs.

"I go down on her because it's the fastest. "and most reliable way for her to have a couple orgasms. "Then she lays on her back impatiently while I climb on top. "It's not ideal.". (crew laughs). "This Christmas, "I got her a small gift she really appreciated. "Afterwards when we had Christmas sex, "she went down on me briefly.". - Christmas sex. (laughs). - "Which she hadn't done in years, "and asked if there was anything else I wanted. "I asked if she'd get on top and wear lingerie. "She said it wasn't that nice a gift.

"I told her I'd get her...". (crew laughs). "I told her I'd get her two more. "She wanted something else instead, "and we ended up naming a dollar amount. "At the time, I really didn't care that it was weird. "or might have repercussions. "A few days later, "she mentioned something expensive she wanted to buy. "I gave her money for it and that led to her. "cheerfully giving me the first blowjob I've had in years. "It's continued happening since then. "Part of me is thrilled. "I like that we are having sex. "I like that there is variety, "and I like that I get input into what we do.

"I've been in a really great mood all year and so has she. "On the other hand, "it seems like this is probably offensive and insulting. "It seems like I'm too close to the situation. "and am heavily influenced. "by the fact that I've had more sex this year. "than in the last three combined. "Am I being paranoid. "or is this going to blow up in my face?". - You know, I just feel like if I was sitting. on the couch with anybody else or if it was any other video, I would be more logical, but I can't help but be like, this is awesome. - Christmas sex. (everyone laughs).

Christmas sex. He's just like, "I went down on you. "All right, let me climb on top.". She's like, "Is it over yet? "It's Christmas. "It's Christmas time.". - But maybe because she's like getting presents. and that makes her horny. - She loves money. - She's got a little material kink. - She's a material-. - She's a material queen. - Girl. - A material woman. (everyone laughs). Shayne's like, "I really thought you guys were gonna get mad.". - Cheerfully gave him a blowjob.

- No, no, no. I'm a little baffled by this story. - She was like, "Da, da, da, da, da. "All right.". - All right, get over here. (Shayne grunts). (everyone laughs). - Okay, so he is asking for advice now. - What is he asking for? - He's asking advice if this is good, if this is like right. - He's got what he wants. - If you're getting sex. and you're happy and your wife is cheerful, keep paying her! (Shayne laughs). Give her all the money you can if you're having a good time.

As long as it's just not on Christmas all the time. - Oh my god. - I don't think it's just, no, he's saying throughout the year. - Yeah, Christmas came early. It came. - No, like this is like now their regular thing. - She's like... - Yep. - Oh yeah, so all the time he's like, "I want sex tonight. "I go shopping with you.". And then later they (beep). - Pay your wife. - Okay. - Hell yeah. - I mean, again, I genuinely think it's a-. - This is awesome.

- It's a material thing. She wants to be a little sugar baby. That like turns her on I guess. - Yeah, maybe that does turn her on. - Which is, you know, if he feels happy to provide that for her, I guess it becomes mutually beneficial. - Okay, what I'm thinking is like, okay, if they both agree on this, if they're both consenting to this situation, then fine. I think that it's like, they're not solving the issue here necessarily. - No, definitely not.

- Some comments here. "I don't necessarily disagree with what is being said, "but should we also think about how OP feels in all of this? "What does he actually want from the sex he gets? "Is it just the act of sex? "Does he like to feel attractive, to feel desired? "Because this dynamic might not lead to the outcome. "that OP actually wishes for. "Even though sometimes he might feel. "like beggars can't be choosers. "and accept what little he gets, "if it doesn't actually align with what he's looking for, "it might actually be counterproductive over time.". OP responded, "In a perfect world, "sure, I'd like to feel attractive and desired.

"and a connection and all that, "but honestly I'm not that deep, "and sometimes a blowjob is really, really awesome.". - I'm dead. (crew laughs). Okay. - Okay. - You bring in logic that kind of grounds us. and then it's like, of course, there's two feelings. - He's like, "Actually no, I don't want a connection. "I want a BJ.". - There's this whole like lengthy paragraph of like, "Yeah, one day maybe I can be attracted, "but, you know, I really like my (beep) sucked.". - Wow. The way you say it like that feels wrong. - If I met this couple and they were just like,

"No, this is our situation, we're fine,". I'd be like, "All right.". - Oh, poor guy. - Another comment. "Money is sexy. "Motherhood not so much. "It sounds like fantasy role playing. "has reignited your marital sex life. "A lot of people commenting aren't married. "and don't understand how being with someone a long time. "can sometimes lead to, shall we say, exploration. "This sounds like a harmless form of a kink. "Healthy marriages definitely can. "and do feature sexual exploration.". Someone said, "Take it as a win. "Start dating her again. "Make sure to compliment her often. "See if this is the start of something good.".

I do agree with that. - I agree. - I like that. - That's what I mean, like if this is like a mutually agreed upon thing, that's like, but I think they're falling into it. without like acknowledging what it might be. - Sure, sure, sure, sure. - I definitely think it's a new kink. I think that they're unlocking something, and they're exploring, and I'm happy for them. - Totally. - I think we can put like a healthy label over it too. in that like it very well just might be her like, she just wants to actually be like a little spoiled. She's like, "I want to feel like I'm valued,

"and sometimes the way that I get that is through gifts. "or being taken out, and that's how I feel loved, "so then I can come home and love you.". - What I think is like, look, I'm not, like, I can't relate to this story, but like I think-. - You don't like Christmas, Shayne? - I hate Christmas. No, but like I think these people. clearly didn't have like conversations. about sexual attraction and desire. and like what turns them on. I don't think they've sat and like communicated this, so they just didn't have sex for years,

and now it's suddenly like, they probably could have gotten to this a lot sooner. - Oh yeah. - By being like, "What would we like to explore?". 'Cause, you know, I think a lot of married couples. just kind of give up. - It's clear they did not talk about what their desires are. - [Shayne] No. - He's like, "Ah, I just want a BJ.". - It's interesting because like he said, it's over time, right? So it's like maybe in the beginning, they were getting a little bit. of that like early relationship dating, paying separate kind of thing. But then eventually when you're married, your finances they group together, your bank accounts group together,

and she started to be like, "Oh, well I'm actually not really, "I'm not feeling like paid for in any way. "And that's the way that I like it.". - And maybe when they first started dating, he like really took her out, he bought her things. So maybe she's, 'cause motherhood is, it does chemically and physically change you as a person, so I've heard, and I feel like she wanted to have a spark. without realizing it. - Yeah. - Human beings are just (beep) figuring it out. - And we just want BJs. - The way this guy wrote this story-.

- Oh, it's insane. - He's so nonchalant. - She gives me some squeezes and tugs, and then I climb on top. - I wanted more. - Where is she tugging? - He needs to write-. - And where is he squeezing? - He needs to write erotic fiction. Like, he needs-. - For who? Cowboys? - I don't know if I would-. - For cowboys. - I don't know if I would describe that as erotic. - Squeezes and tugs. I climb on top. - It was actually the driest description of sex. quite literally that I've ever heard. - Cheerfully giving me a sweet old blowjob.

- Okay. Okay. - Shayne's hit his limit. - No. - He doesn't like Christmas. - No, I'm sorry. We gotta move on. - Okay, well let's move on, let's move on. - All right, it's time for our final story now. And this one comes from Am I The Asshole. and also Best of Redditor Updates. So we've got a story that has multiple parts. - Updates. - And this is also recent, so this is fresh. - Like how fresh? - Like, only like 10 days ago. - All right. - This is a 23-year-old woman writing this.

"Am I the asshole for controlling what my boyfriend, "who's 24, eats?". I would typically say yes. - Well, let's just find out what he eats. - All right. "Throwaway because I don't want him to find this, "but I'm honestly at my wits end here. "I, a 23-year-old woman, "have been dating my boyfriend Jake, who's 24, "for four years. "I'd say we're a happy couple overall, "but lately this argument has come up that's divided us. "He's always had unique tastes.

"Cereal with orange juice instead of milk, "mayo and butter sandwiches, "and raw onions have been the worst culprits. "I've put up with these. "We all have our quirks, right? "Well, two weeks ago he started eating garlic. "as his midnight snack. "Raw cloves of garlic. "I can't share a drink with him. "without it wreaking of garlic somehow. "And kissing him? "It's like shoving a clove straight in your mouth. "He swears he's only eating them. "because he didn't want them to go to waste. "and that he would stop once he finished the head of garlic.

"But just when I finally thought it was over, "I caught him sneaking a second one. "in the kitchen last night when he thought I was asleep. "I confronted him about his secret grocery trip this morning. "and he got really defensive and denied it. "I'm trying not to be a nag here, "but it's really wearing on me. "The garlicy aura surrounding him. "makes me want to avoid him at all costs. "But like I don't want to do that because he's my boyfriend. "Am I the asshole for giving him an ultimatum. "of no more eating garlic? "Edit for context. "His diet seems healthy overall,

"and he goes to the gym a lot. "He had a doctor's appointment not long ago, "and I don't think anything came up, "but I can ask him to go again. "Sorry If the title is confusing. "I just feel bad. "because I did give him an ultimatum this morning, "which I know isn't good. "I really love him and don't want to break up with him, "but I just don't know what to do. "He hasn't come back since this morning.". I can't believe she's dating Dustin Hoffman from "Hook.". - Ah! You told me that. - Yeah, he would eat-. - Do you know who... - Do you know who Dustin Hoffman is? Do you know the movie "Hook"?

Do you know what "Peter Pan" is? Do you know what books are? - And this isn't to make you upset. - Books? - Okay, Dustin Hoffman in "Hook" apparently would eat garlic. to make the kids like repulsed by him. - I love that when you told me that fact. - That might be real, that might be fake. I don't know. - I was gonna say he is like a vampire hunter or something. - Oh, I was like, whoa. But yeah, he's Van Helsing. - Yeah. - He works out and he eats garlic. Vampire hunter. - Here's the thing. Okay, her boyfriend could be a vampire,

but also like let him go through this weird phase. - You think it's a phase? - I don't know if it's a phase. She says he-. - [Amanda] You sure? - He has always had-. - No, the garlic specifically. - The garlic. - Garlic specifically, but-. - He'll get over it. - I think it is something that she doesn't know yet. because he is making the excuse of like, he doesn't want it to go to waste, but then he's sneaking around. - Maybe he wants to break up. - You think? - He's trying to repulse her. - He's like, "This is my way to repulse her.". - If he's doing secret shopping.

- The verdict was not the asshole. - [Amanda] It wouldn't smell good. - Some comments here. "If you really can't stand it, convey that.". OP responded, "I tried to explain when I talked to him this morning. "I told him that the other weird food combos. "don't really bother me, "but the particular smell of this is too much. "He said that I just need more time to get used to it. "But it's been nearly two weeks already.". - Oh. Oh. - Someone else said, "Is there anything else weird going on?". OP responded, "We haven't been going on our usual dates. "for the past two-ish months,

"and he's had to leave to take calls a bit, "but that's just because he's been swamped at work. "Nothing weird. "His busy season is almost over, which is good.". - He's cheating. - What the hell is going on? - He's cheating. He's cheating. - You think he's cheating? - Yeah, he's going down on someone, whatever, and he's coming home and he is putting garlic in there. Boom! Remember that music video, "Let Me Smell Your (beep)"? - Wait. You're right. Wait, what did you say? - I was gonna say, what I have heard of is, the only thing I've heard of like that.

is alcoholics constantly like doing stuff. to cover their alcoholic breath. Never heard of someone being like, "I gotta cover the smell of sex.". - Yeah. Me neither. Like never. I've never. Marcus knows what I'm talking about. - You're saying he's over here like (grunts). And then like eating garlic. (everyone laughs). And then like, "I gotta cover that up.". - Did it again. - I really love that. Are you crying? - Yeah, he's sick. (crew laughs).

- I don't know. I really like your theory. I didn't even think about him coming back, putting the garlic in the mouth, and then like using that as a tactic. I was still under the impression. that he is doing that to just break up with her. I didn't even include cheating there. - Interesting. 'Cause he's been all doing all these sorts of crazy things. It's like, what is he trying? - He's been working late, and he hasn't been going on dates. - But she's saying this is his usual busy season. - Yeah, I don't think we necessarily have to be like,

"He's cheating.". - True, true. - He very much might be, but it also could be the flip side. in that he's just too nice of a guy. that he cannot break up with this woman, and he is going to such extreme lengths. so that she would break up with him. But it's just coming off as peculiar. - Yeah. - Well, there's an update. (Amanda gasps). - Finally. - Yes. - As we expected. "Thank you all for your advice yesterday. "It gave me a lot to think about. "As it turns out some of your comments. "ended up being spot on.

"Yesterday evening, "I tried texting him about seeing a doctor. "like you guys suggested. "He never replied. "I guess he still has me muted. "I spent the night tossing and turning. "I kept going over what I was going to say to him. "when he got home. "Not that it mattered. "because he didn't come back last night. "That worried me. "So this morning I checked his location. "He stopped sharing it with me through his phone, "but I guess he forgot I can still see it on Snapchat. "It showed him about 30 minutes away. "at some house off a random back road. "I was pretty confused and honestly panicked. "All his friends that I know of live in the city.

"I tried to call him again and was sent to voicemail. "So I drove over there to see what was up. "When I got to the house, "I noticed a woman about my age gardening in the front yard. "I was pretty upset already, "so I flat out asked her if she had seen my partner. "She seemed surprised and asked if I meant Jake. "She invited me inside and there he was. "Apparently she's into gardening, "and they met at her stand last fall. "when he went to stock up on onions. "at our local farmer's market. "They hit it off and have been seeing each other. "for the past six months. "and made it official back when his busy season started.

"She said lately she's been giving Jake the garlic she grew. "last summer since it's going to go bad soon. "That's why he was so insistent on eating it by himself. "instead of cooking it into a shared dish like normal. "and why he's been eating onions like an apple. "instead of letting me use them on my sandwiches. "He didn't want to give me her presents. "because in his own words, 'She grew it with love for me. "'And if you ate them, you would've known.'. "At that point, I saw red, so I just left. "Since then, Jake's been blowing up my phone.

"about how he can fix this and that he won't do it again. "But I'm so over it at this point. "Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse. "while I was moving his stuff to the curb, "I found his stash of garlic. "Shoved in the back of his closet was one pound of garlic. "in a Home Depot bucket. "along with letters she had written him. "I'm keeping the garlic. "I don't think we can ever come back from this cheating, "but I'm going to at least get some good meals. "out of this terrible situation. "Please send me your favorite recipes to use the garlic in. "I need a distraction to keep my mind off of everything.".

- I knew it. - I (beep) fought for that man. - I knew it. - Wow. I can't believe he was dating my character. in "Stardew Valley.". (everyone laughs). - I gave him the benefit of the doubt. - I'm sorry, it's kind of romantic that he was like, "She cooked this for me.". - Yeah, it's devastating. - I mean, that is really messed up what he did. - Oh my god. And the fact that he thought he could come back from it. - Absolute coward. - I could fix this. Uh, how?

- And now she's cooking. She's a chef. I'm all for it. I love that she didn't even say like, "Any kind words would be appreciated,". or like, "Any further advice?". She goes, "Give me your recipes. "'cause I have a (beep) ton of garlic now.". - Yeah. I love that. - I love it. - Yeah, a pound of garlic. What's your favorite recipe that involves garlic? - Okay, you guys are gonna hate me. - Okay, what? - I actually don't like garlic. - Get out. - I live for garlic. - [Shayne] Oh yeah. - My favorite thing as a kid,

my papa used to cut off the top of garlic, salt and pepper, olive oil, bake it in the oven. - Yeah. - And I used to take it out and put it on bread. I ate it so much that he told me if I kept eating so much. that I would grow a mustache. And I did. And I was happy. (everyone laughs). I'm not even making any of that up. - Honey, I don't think that was the garlic. - I'm not making any, no, no, it was the garlic why I grew a mustache. and a unibrow.

It wasn't me. It wasn't 'cause I'm Portuguese. (Shayne laughs). - I tell you that. - Trust me. - It's definitely not that. - No, but I truly am obsessed with-. - [Shayne] Oh, I love garlic. - Onions and garlic are a staple. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Absolute staple. - You can add them to any dish and it makes it better. - It's so, so, so good. Roasted garlic. - Oh, just like marinated garlic. Like, garlic and like olive oil. - Yes. - Like, it's been marinated. - Should I go? - Also fresh garlic in rice. You make white rice and then fresh garlic in it.

with a little bit of olive oil, it's so yummy. Sorry, I guess I can't-. - Well, no, it's I feel like we disagree. on a lot of things too. 'cause you also love my worst enemy, which is cardamom. - I love cardamom. - I just feel like I have a very sensitive palate. I'm a picky eater. So strong, strong flavors like horse radish, you guys are gonna hate this one, truffle. I can't do it. - I do love truffle. - I lost the room. I lost the room. I heard that sigh.

But I can't do truffle, horse radish. Again, like it just, it overpowers for me. - See, I have grave mouth. I need strong flavors. - Yeah. It takes over for me, and it's all of what I'm eating, so then I just can't do it. - Damn. - That's okay. - Yeah. - Wow. - You're okay. - Thank you. Thank you. - What story here gave you the biggest "what?". What shocked, what was the-. - Well- - I think we all know. I think we know. - I think we all know.

- I think we know because we spent five hours. just sitting here losing our minds about it. - Christmas came early. - Okay, but that one (laughs). - God dang it. - Christmas comes early. - Okay, but that one wasn't as, I wasn't as like gagged because of that one. - Gagged? Get outta here! (everyone laughs). Take your pearl necklace and go. (laughs).

- Okay. Okay. - I think it's still the one where she said, where he said the selfish cow 'cause I reacted out loud. - It was shocking. That was shocking. - I actually just, I unconsciously just made a sound. - That was horrendous. (everyone laughs). - I promise you we are sober right now. I don't know what's going on. - That was, yes, that was, "Hamilton.".

But Christmas. - But Christmas. It was just like when you were reading it, for some reason, Amanda and I both were just like, "Two times around Christmas time?". Like, why? - The "Hamilton" one, I agree with you. - Thank you. - Shayne, what about you, bud? - Yeah, probably that "Hamilton" one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Such a cow. - All right, guys, remember when it was about names? - Remember when we started this very serious? - That was hours ago, man. - How did we start this on such a serious note. and then end up here? - That was the same video that we were like, "Yeah, we should really be-".

- That was the same week. Can you believe that? (Amanda laughs). Thank you both for joining me here. This was a fever dream. And thank you for watching. I hope this was coherent. - Who knew that Arasha and I, who knew? - We cook. We cook. - We cook. - Comment whatever you want. (everyone laughs). - Comment if Christmas is your favorite holiday. - Hey, Christmas is coming. Christmas is coming. - God. Let us know what other types of themes.

and subreddits you want us to cover. because this theme worked. - Let's re-release this on Christmas Day. - All right, we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye! - Bye! - Bye! - [Shayne] Man...