I Don't Think I'm The Drama! (Am I The A**hole?)

- Am I the asshole because I ate more than my share. of a six foot party sub? I'm a big fat ass. (laughing). (upbeat music). You guys just loved our last 'Am I The Asshole' recap. You just loved it so much, you guys wanted us to do it again. So uh, here we are, we're doing it again. We'll do whatever you tell us to do. In case you missed it, on our Twitch channel. we read a ton of 'Am I The Asshole' posts.

and they are truly wild and nuts. To see the full stories. or any stories that we might have cut, make sure to subscribe to our Twitch channel. If you subscribe, you also can watch. all of our previous streams from the beginning. They're all available now. So subscribe and check it out. and uh, enjoy the show. Get into it. - Huh, am I the asshole for telling cashier. that wasn't the girl's credit card? Throwaway because husband told me I was the asshole.

and want to know uh, before I get home and argue. On phone format is bad. I was in a higher end department store today. Rhymes with "Loomingdale's". - Oh, Macy's. - Yeah Macy's. And happened to end up. next to two teenage aged girls while shopping. One of the girls had picked out. a pair of very expensive boots. and they were both fawning over them. Second girl must have looked at the price tag. and asked boots girl. if she's really gonna spend that much on boots. Girl with the boots says something along the lines of, "it's fine, I have my dad's credit card and I am not paying".

which instantly caught my attention. because that's not her card. I've told my son multiple times. he's never allowed to use my card, so I'm interested to see how this girl thinks. she's going to get away with fraud, but had split, split up from the girls at this point, because they had found something else. We end up at the same register, me behind, and I see her total hit... - Well over four digits. - Oh okay, I see her total hit well over four digits.

This girl is about to swipe her card when I decide that. I can't let her get away with something like this. and someone has to parent this kid. if no one else will, Jesus. I, I tell cashier that isn't her card but her father's. and I'm not sure she has permission. Girl and friend turn and glare at me, giving me possibly the dirtiest look I've ever seen. I swear this girl is going to throw a tantrum right there. I don't think she was ever told no. I just imagine it's the two girls. in the bathroom from Euphoria.

(people laughing). It's like, - [Shayne] I'm not in Oklahoma! (people laughing). - Girl tells cashier her father gave her the card. to shop with because it's the store's credit card. and it gives him the points. Now that I've pointed out it wasn't hers, cashier tells her she can't use that card. Girl tries to show ID. to prove that they have the same last name. Yeah, that will help. And I tell her it's still fraud. Girl says it's not fraud because she has permission. and tells me to mind my own business. I tell her that it is my business, that she's doing something illegal.

She needs to pay with her own card. or I call the cops. Girl is pissed now and people are glaring at me. She uses her own card and leaves crying. Cashier looks mad at me. and I tell my husband when I get home, only for him to agree I was in the wrong. So Reddit, am I the asshole? - Wow. Yeah, yeah chat, chat put it out, She literally didn't mind her own business. - Yeah. - This is their business. - It, it, it would've, it would've been her business.

if she was like, it's not, it's fine. It's some, it's some credit card. that I found like at the food court. - Yeah. If it was like, "don't worry, I stole this credit card.". Be like, "Hey, she stole that credit card.". It's her dad's credit card. - Yeah, that's... - She's saying it's her dad's credit card. Also, She clearly, the cashier's gonna see the credit card. - Like the girl is handing the credit card to the cashier. - Yeah but people don't really, - The cashier's gonna go, "that's not your name.". - People don't check that. - But they don't, yeah. - A lot of times you're just tapping it, you know. they never even look at the card.

- Right, but like I don't know if, if it's a big purchase, the, the cashier will look at it and be like, but probably not care. Because it's like, yeah. It's same last name. Like it's, it's or I don't know. I, I, whatever, this is insane. She heard it's her dad's credit card, then it's fine. - Okay, here we go. Am I the asshole for privately asking my friend. about the paternity of her children? Ooh. Saw another post that reminded me of this situation. A few years ago, my close childhood friend gave birth to triplets. Her husband is a light black man. Of the three, two were the same skin tone as her husband,

and the third one was much darker. The skin tones made me a little suspicious. that her husband might not be the father. This is so wrong. - (beep). (people laughing). - I pulled her aside privately. You pulled her aside privately, and asked her seriously if her husband was the father. She didn't even listen or answer rationally. She just freaked out at me, and acted super insulted and kicked me out. I reached out to her husband, and told him about her reaction, and told him he should get a paternity test, and he called me an asshole and blocked me. Neither has spoke to me since. I've always thought that they dramatically overreacted. and were probably hiding something. because of their responses, but they're still married,

and sometimes I feel bad about what happened. I just felt a lot of empathy for her husband. because I would be devastated if I wasn't confident. that I was the father of my future children. Was I an asshole for asking privately? Whoa. (Shayne laughs). - She has no idea how like DNA works. - [Noah] At all! Yo. - Just like, all babies have to look exactly the same. - Well, if you have a triplet, the only way is if three men each... (Shayne laughs). That's the only way. Cause you can, that's, do you know science? She does. - She clearly knows science very well. - What a God damn mess, holy (beep).

She's not only an idiot and ignorant of biology, but she's straight up racist. - Yeah. - Like holy (beep). The, real quick, the craziest sentence to me, you know, they're still married, and sometimes I feel bad about what happened. I just felt a lot of empathy for her husband. because I would be devastated if I wasn't confident. that I was the father of my future children. He's not, he knows that's his children. You're the only one that's not confident. That's why they (beep) hate you. - He, uh, he can see the babies too. (people laughing).

- All right. Am I the asshole for telling my wife. that we're both pregnant? (Shayne laughs). I know this sounds bad, but hear me out. I'm using a throwaway cuz my wife uses Reddit. so please don't upload this, I just want honest feedback, oops. - No, that's never worked. - Cause you know, Reddit's like full of people. that are like, yeah. All right. My wife, 29 woman, and I, 27 man, do well financially. So we decided to have our fourth child.

Okay, latter day saints. (people laughing). Every single pregnancy we've been through, my wife has been a complete nightmare. Oh my God, (beep) this guy. Uh, Some things I can deal with, like waking up to the sound. of her puking her guts out every morning. But when she starts demanding I go. to the store every day to get her snacks, or set up her foot bath thingy because her feet are swollen,

I get a little impatient. I work way longer hours than her, in a much more physically demanding profession. I'm a plumber. She's an engineer. So I think we're putting an equal amount of effort. into this baby. (Shayne laughs). - Oh, I, mine's so physically demanding. It's basically like I'm pregnant. - This all came to a head yesterday, when my wife screamed at me from the kitchen. to get off my ass and entertain our twins. so she could focus on her meatloaf.

I made a dumb joke about... Sorry. I'm like throwing up in my mouth. This is such a bad one. Um, I made dumb joke about how. this is the third meatloaf we'll be eating this week, and she lost her (beep). She told me how I have no sympathy. for the fact that she's pregnant. I should be taking on more of her chores. since I, since I can't breastfeed. But then I reminded her. that I still work a lot more hours than her, so I think we're basically both pregnant.

(beep). She got really quiet. and has only spoken to me regarding the kids since. I don't think I am wrong, but I'll apologize to her if it makes her happy. Am I the asshole here? - Oh my God. - Um, yeah. That, that this, this one is, this one's so, this one's so coded. - No. Yeah this is, this is, I think this is 100% real. This guy, this guy sucks on so many layers. - Yeah. - Like this is one of those ones where. you almost have to re-read it to be like, wait, oh, I forgot that thing he said.

- Yeah. - There's a lot here. - There's a lot in there. - There's a whole bunch. - Yeah. I mean. - Chat is going off. This guy sucks so bad. (Ian laughs). - Am I the asshole. for refusing to give my friend. the money I made selling her artwork. Okay. - Ooh, this is gonna be, listen. You're, you're talking to a couple artists right now. - Yeah, we make NFTs. - Maybe not that type, but yeah. (Shayne laughs). - We are NFT artists. Um, my friend is a new artist. that has been getting a lot of attention lately. She recently started selling prints.

When she listed them, she criminally under-priced them. I told her this, I said she could easily charge double for these prints. There is high demand. She didn't believe me. I bought two of her prints. I work in a coffee shop that doubles as a gallery. So I asked my boss if I could hang the two pieces. I listed them for sale, and they both sold for triple what I paid for them, like I thought. I ended up making around $300. I told a couple people and word got around to my friend. She started demanding the money from me for the sales. I told her absolutely not. I told her from jump that she was undercharging.

I think that this $300 is payment to me. for showing her that. She's mad and has went to others for solace. Our friend group is really heated about it. They want me to give her the money. They think she's a hungry artist and I'm robbing her. Now I feel bad she missed out on the money, but does that make me an asshole? - Listen, I'm gonna give, (Shayne laughs). I'm gonna give my straight up opinion. People are gonna be upset about it, but this is really, and this is really, and I need you to understand now, while I may not be an expert in a court of law, I am, without a doubt, confident.

in speaking of what contracts would look like, interactions between parties would look like. - Chat's pretty certain about how they feel. - No, 100%. And I'm gonna have to like, lay it down for chat. (Shayne laughs). Chat, we can, chat, listen, we can put on a vote of whether I'm an asshole after this. This is the truth, this is the truth. She obviously gave up right to the artwork. so you can resell it however you want. That's a flat truth. Uh, should the friend, (Shayne laughs). should the friend have been kinder. in how they're responding to it? Without a doubt. Does she have a right to any of the money? Not at all. This is what should happen. This is what should happen. Unfortunately, the artist was obviously emotional about it. because someone did do you dirty,

you did get done dirty. That, that happened. You got done, done dirty. - Yeah. - Luckily it's 300 dollars. and not 3,000...30,000, whatever it is. You need to go back, cuz this is real, as an artist working in the industry, you're gonna get (beep) all day long. by a lot of different people. Some of them are your friends, some of them aren't. So you need to learn how to work with them, and this is what you do. I understand that you were able to sell them. at your coffee shop. Could I put my artwork up at the coffee shop to sell. and give you 5% for letting me go into the coffee shop? And there you go, you properly price your items. You now sell them at the coffee shop.

You show that they're being sold at a coffee shop. You go to another coffee shop and guess what? You don't talk to the friend. You talk to whoever's at that coffee shop, kid, I'll give you 5%, and you set up this deal. at as many coffee shops as you can. And you use your asshole friend who stole from you. as a way to actually, as a, a step to the next step. What they actually did was they proved. that you could sell your art openly. at a gallery at a coffee shop. Any coffee shop would be down to have free art there, let alone, art that will be sold. So that's realistically what should happen. Though I do think you're an asshole. for probably how you spoke to them,

but I don't think you're an asshole. for refusing to give the money. That's my honest response. - Am I the asshole for saying "RIP". when a girl in the group chat said. she was getting a breast reduction. - Damn, double homicide. (people laughing). - I am in a group chat with some of my classmates, including a girl with really, really big boobs. She never really talked about them being annoying. She posted on the group chat, "I'm getting a breast reduction. I'm so excited, say bye-bye to the twins.". I said RIP and posted a picture of a gravestone.

It was intended as a lighthearted joke, since that's the tone of the group chat. People got upset at me and basically accused me. of being insensitive and sexist, saying I'm implying that the only thing. that matters is her boobs. In my opinion, it was just a silly joke and fit the tone of her message. Am I the asshole? - I mean, we don't know who she is. So she, we, we don't know for sure if. the only thing that matters is her boobs. - Ian. - I'm sorry, okay. That was a joke. - Okay, okay. - That was a joke. - Okay, okay. - That was a joke.

- Okay, okay. - That was a joke, I had to go, I had to go for the hat-trick. - All right, all right. I think, people are saying legend in the chat. Uh, someone said he should have put two gravestones. (people laughing). - Yeah, yeah. No, I was, I was actually thinking that as the punch up, like, they should have done two tombstones. - Am I the asshole for calling my friend stupid. for getting pregnant. She FaceTimed me in the middle of the day, while I was at work, bawling her eyes out. After joking about being late for weeks, never being in birth control, not using any form of protection, and continuing to have a pretty active sex life, she is pregnant. Shocker. My group of friends consist, consists.

of nothing but pro-choice pre-law students. We all met at the university I attend. So when she called me crying, it was a shock because she's joked so much about it. If anything, she just recently sent a screenshot of how late she was. and baby shower games. Maybe I'm being insensitive. but play stupid games, win stupid prizes. It slipped out my mouth, but I basically said, "And? What else did you expect?". Now she's not talking to me or our friend group. - I think they're an asshole. I think you're, I think they're an asshole. - Yeah. Okay listen. (Shayne laughs). Listen, listen, listen, And I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole.

and I'll gladly share something, and look, everyone's gonna think I'm a (beep) dick, And I am a dick. One time, actually, I can't share this. I actually can't share this cuz it's not my information. All I'm saying is I've been in a similar situation. and not, not one like this, uh, but one where I did make a comment, oh, well you can abort it. I have made that comment before. Now I've made that comment with very, very close people. Well aware that making that comment, I was clearly stating what it was. I'm an asshole, I get it.

I get I'm an asshole, I'm just trying to say, from the perspective, you know, talk (beep) get hit. That's all I'm saying. - What?! - Talk (beep), get hit. - Am I the asshole. for wearing compression shorts to the gym? Hmm. I recently moved to a new city. and joined a local gym. I've always worked out in my apartment gym before, but this new apartment does not have one. So I joined, joined a local chain gym. When I work out, I usually wear compression shorts and a t-shirt, mostly because I find the most comfortable.

for the types of exercises I do. However, a couple weeks after joining, I had a woman come up to me and I needed to put pants on. This wasn't a gym staff, uh, but just another member. I asked her if there were any rules. or dress code that specified that. She said she didn't know, but that I was exposing myself which is inappropriate. For the record, my compression shorts are not translucent or anything. They're a gray heather or a black fabric, depending on the pair. What she's referring to though is the bulge, which, obviously, is visible.

when wearing compression shorts. I told her I don't believe there is any issue. with my shorts and put my headphones back in. Couple of weeks later, I had a different woman come up. and do something similar. She came to me and asked, "Are you gonna put pants on, dude?". to which I told her, I was wearing shorts. The gym itself hasn't talked to me about this. As far as I'm aware that it's not unusual. to wear compression shorts, nor do I see how they are really any different. than leggings, which are very common. I can understand that the visible bulge.

may make some people uncomfortable, but how hard is it to just not look at it? Am I the asshole. for wearing/continuing to wear compression shorts. to the gym? I think, stop looking at this man's dong. Stop it. Stop it. - Yeah. I, I, look, if as long he's not like doing anything weird, where he's like invading people's space. or like, you know, he, he just sounds like he's minding his own business.

- It's not like, he's like, you know, he's doing like dead lifts. and there's a woman and he's just going like (grunts). - Yeah or if he's coming up and asking people. for, if they need a spot when they're, when they don't need a spot. - [Ian] Yeah. - It's like, "do you need a spot?". "Do you need a spot?". and just gets, gets his junk right on your face. - Yeah. I mean, I don't really.. - Um, coming up to people, like lifting a leg up on a, on a chair, being like, "Hey, how's it going?". - Yeah. I mean, like I look, I, I would prefer not to see people's jibbly bits. all, all, you know, full on display when I'm at the gym,

but hey look, it's none of my business. - Am I the asshole because I ate more than my share. of a six foot party sub? That's awesome. Uh, this is written by Shaggy. (people laughing). What I thought would be a total non-issue, has ballooned into a huge problem, and I'm up at 7:05 AM dealing with it. (Noah laughs). I'm a big fat ass. (people laughing). I love this person. This, this might, dare I say,

this might be a legend here guys. - So far. - I'm a big fat ass, there's no way around it. I love to eat, which probably borders on addiction, but I figure since I'm only hurting myself, it's probably better to just live my life. Aw, man. - Oh my God. - I have some great friends although there is no doubt, I'm the harmless, funny, token fat guy. (Noah laughs). of the otherwise pretty good looking group. I guess that sets the stage enough. Last night, my friend hosted UFC and I was invited. He got a six foot party sub. I also brought homemade wings that are sort of my specialty.

Well, of course, people flock to the food, and I had basically one serving of the sandwich, but people devoured my wings. and I didn't get to have a single one. - Okay. - Which is totally fine, that's why I brought them. But maybe an hour later, I was starving. I kept eyeing the sandwich. and I'd say there was about three feet of it left. I waited an hour, then a half, another half hour. and no one had touched it, but they were still munching on chips, pretzels and whatnot. So I was like, screw it. I took about half of what was left and ate it. Then the last half sat for another 10 to 15 minutes. and no one said anything so I ate the rest.

- [Noah] Oh my God. - Well, to be sure, as I was swallowing the last bite, the host's girlfriend asked where the sandwich was. Like I was the guilty party, pretty much everyone pointed at me. I guess they'd noticed me eating the sandwich. She was furious and said that I was an incredible pig, and that I had been super selfish. to eat three feet of a sandwich. I felt so bad, I tried to explain to her. that I really did wait over an hour. and thought people had lost interest. I also tried to explain how everyone had ate my wings, and she said something along the lines of, "You brought them to share Alan. If someone had eaten over half, half by themselves,

that's not (beep) sharing, is it?". I offered to order pizza or even go get Subways, and she said that it was a pathetic offer. because the party sub had been from a local shop. owned by her friends. I said I was sorry, but the night was so tense from then on out. I woke up this morning to several texts from my twin sister, the host girlfriend's best friends, saying that I had to get my (beep) under control, and that everyone is really mad at me, and that I embarrassed myself last night. I tried to explain to them what my mindset had been. and they haven't responded.

Was I the asshole. for eating that much of a sandwich last night? - Oh. - Oh man. - That's hard. - Uh, I, I don't think he, I, I, my opinion, if I was the there, he offered to get pizza or subs. That makes him not the asshole. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm like, I don't care if it was a friend, it's food. - Yeah. - You, so, so that place was from a friend. Great. You, you supported their business by buying that sub. - Yeah. - It is now gone. - He, he, - It was loved, he loved it. - He's, He's the biggest supporter of their business. - Ask for a, yeah, ask for a review. - He's the biggest supporter.

- Yeah. - He's like, I love it, I'm gonna get it more. But, he offered to get pizza. He offered to replace the food. That I, if I was there, I'd be like, this is funny, whatever. Like, that's fine. - Yeah. Alan, you definitely should be eating. three and a half feet of anything. - I, I think the girlfriend's a jerk. - Yeah, she's definitely a jerk. - I think if her wording, if her wording is as he said, and she said you're being, you were an incredible pig and everything. I just think that's so unnecessarily mean. Uh, he didn't eat the whole thing, and, and yeah, it was out for another hour and stuff like,

- Yeah. - I don't know. After a certain amount of time, I'm not interested. - Yeah, I'm not gonna touch another sandwich, - Like I'm like, shoot. - At a certain point. - Honestly, a part of me, if I was hosting the party, would be stoked. Cuz I'm like, that's less to clean up. - Yeah. - I'm like, if people eat it all, I'm like, great. - That's why you invite Alan though. - Yeah, like Alan, - You know he's gonna eat, - Alan takes care of business. - Three feet of sub. - To me, Alan's a legend. - All right. Am I the asshole for wanting to play COD on Christmas. instead of spending time with my wife and kids? - Gotta get that gaming in, you know. - I mean, dude, you gotta get to platinum or whatever.

(Shayne laughs). - Okay. - My birthday is on Christmas day. I've always spent my birthday celebrating Christmas, and never doing anything I want. - My son (laughs). Oh, this switched it up. - My son is three and my daughter is six months. Uh, I spend a lot of time with them and my wife. and I barely see my friends anymore. This Christmas, I just wanna play COD with the boys. They're all going to be playing COD. on Christmas slash my birthday, and I don't wanna miss out.

They are never online at the same time. My wife is incredibly angry with me. and wants to throw my new Xbox out the window. I'm angry cuz I just wanna play COD. with the boys on my birthday. Am I the asshole? - Can I just say, this is the biggest asshole, who I also is kind of a legend in a way. (Ian laughs). Like yo, sorry baby, I gotta play COD. This guy's a huge asshole. And also like you, your children are three and six. They're gonna go to bed at a certain point.

- Yeah. - They're gonna take a nap at some point. - Oh they're gonna be riding the high of that, of those Christmas presents. - Christmas gifts? - They're gonna freakin' crash. - I don't know, six months old, six months doesn't care about Christmas. - True. But they're gonna cra... - Three is just barely caring about Christmas, like, - Yeah, then shoot it up with the boys after that. - But what I, what I meant about first Christmas, I think, for probably his wife, that matters. It's the first Christmas with her. That's a memory, that's a core memory. But you, but you know what also is a core memory? Playing COD with the boys. - Dude getting a triple kill. - Triple kill with the boys. - Well, that's it guys.

There are more videos here for you to watch, one right here, one right here. Let us know the comments. who you thought was the biggest asshole, and make sure to like and subscribe. and subscribe to our Twitch channel. if you haven't already, it's a grand old time. We're doing crazy stuff over there and it's all live. We mess up all the time and we can't edit it out. So. whatever.