Green With Envy | Reading Reddit Stories

- Welcome to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.". I'm Shane, and today's theme is jealousy. And I'm joined by two people that I am jealous of. - Oh! - What? You have Courtney? - Just kidding. Oh, they're jealous of me. - Yeah, right, exactly. - There it is. Jealousy. Are you guys jealous people? Do you ever deal with jealousy? - You go. - I would. Okay, so I want to say no. I do want to say no, but I have to say, yeah. (Shane laughing).

Just actually not with like wins and acting stuff. I'm really good about that. I'm like, I'm glad you got that. Even if I was up for the same part, I'm like, I feel happiness instead of like, I should have gotten it instead. - Sure. - Yeah. What's the difference between envious and jealous? - Jealousy is the fear of losing something in a situation. because of someone else possibly. Whereas envy is going, oh, I wish I had what they had. - Right. - I think in a lot of those situations, I don't think I'm the jealous type too much. I definitely felt a lot of envy throughout my life,

but I think that's very common in acting. Because we're an industry where it's like. people just get a role that you want. and it's, you know, it's just an interesting career. in that way, but jealousy in relationships, I don't think I ever really, like, I'm not threatened by someone. Right? 'Cause I guess I've always had the thought of like, if someone's going to, you know, leave you or cheat on you. or something, I'm like, there's nothing I can do about it. - You know, there are the moments.

where emotions feel like they're high. and it's like, wait, I'm maybe threatened. or feeling a little bit concerned. But then exactly that, that feeling of, hold on. If they are actually interested in somebody else. or if they're even like going so far as to like pursue them. There's nothing really that I can do. - Jealousy definitely seems to pertain in relationships. because your fear of losing your partner. - Right. - Right? But envy seems to be more the case. with anything career related. - I think so. Or just outside of romantic relationships.

- Okay, here we go. Our first story comes from relationship advice. - Okay. - This is a 37-year-old man writing in, why is my wife, 30-year-old woman, jealous. that my ex-wife has found love. I don't know what else to add to the title. My wife is kind of obsessed stalking. and following my ex-wife since she told us. that she was engaged. Apparently my ex has been seeing this guy for a while, but since she's a mom, she didn't wanna make it official. until everything is serious. so as not to confuse the children.

My wife is in shock. and her first reaction to the news is, who is this loser then? But the new guy seems really nice. and instead of being glad. that at least her stepchildren would have a good man. in their mother's life, my wife is very irritated and angry. I would even say jealous. She isn't following my ex on Instagram, so she can't follow the relationship. So she sent the new guy a follow request. I confronted her and she denied being jealous or obsessive. I told her that we should be happy since my children. will have to live with this man.

And it is a good thing that he is good to their mother. and that she's in a happy relationship. It benefits everyone. She asked me who in his right mind would want her? I was surprised because why would she not think any human, let alone someone like my ex is worth love. I told her probably plenty would. because she is a kind and pleasant person. All hell broke loose and she started calling my ex names. Can anyone help me out here? - This is interesting. - Yeah. - My first--. - This is interesting. - My first inclination is like, I wanna know.

what the other guy's deal is. Okay, let me explain this. - Let's hear it. - If he's hotter. or more successful, I'd be like, (beep) she went up, she upgraded. and I'm stuck with the schlub that's my husband. No, that's my inclination. Just because it's in jealousy. So I'm like looking at a lens through jealousy. She's like, and maybe she knows stories about her. hurting the husband, so she just wants the worst for her. - Sure. - Maybe that, yeah.

- It could be that almost like. a sort of like protectiveness in a way. or anger off of whatever happened. between their relationship. I am suspecting that a lot of these stories are going. to be related to insecurity. - Oh, totally. - You know, which a lot of that derives from. It's like, 'cause people that are completely content. and at peace with themselves are. so often not jealous of other people. Or envious because they're like. at peace and they're good.

And it seems like this situation kind of screams. to me like she is maybe not super happy. or she feels like she has to win. And so she's in competition with this ex-wife. and now that the ex-wife has found happiness, she's not happy. with it and is reacting in some sort of way of like, no, she can't have this. And I love the point of like the husband being happy. because his kids are gonna get. another great figure in their life.

That makes so much sense. But she for some reason isn't able to see that. because she's caught up in her own tiff. with this ex-wife who again, there's definitely a lot of context missing. - Yeah, it's interesting. 'cause like, you know, I hear about people being jealous. of their ex or like caring about their ex's life, but it's interesting that she is obsessed. with her partner's ex. - That's weird. - That's a lot. because I'm assuming, you know, a lot of time. has had to have passed by this point.

I mean, she's clearly comparing herself to his ex. and maybe it's that the ex is doing so well. Maybe she's worried that he'll see how well she's doing. It seems that all hell broke loose once he said no, she's a kind and pleasant person. - Right. - It's like, oh, his ex has her life together. And so she's doing really well. So she's maybe like, oh no. Will this make him want her more now. that she's with someone else? Maybe not like, kind of that type of thinking. - Totally. Totally. - Because maybe. that would be her logic. - Yeah. - So she's putting. her logic on his.

She's definitely insecure. - Oof. - When I start. talking to a boy, I'm gonna look up every ex you've ever had. - Really? - I'm gonna look him up and I'm gonna on LinkedIn, on Instagram, like, I wanna know everything. - Interesting. - Yeah I guess for me, it's kind of like a, it's like the pain. that I wanna feel, you know? - I want to hurt today. - I wanna hurt myself. Tell me how you guys met. You know, and it's like, it hurts, but I wanna know. - I get that. - So I think, I think for me it's in a way. kind of like a guilty pleasure thing.

I don't think I obsess over it in that way. 'cause I also try to just be like, that was a different time and space. And almost everybody has exes. and so when I put myself in the shoes of my partner. and then I think of my ex, I'm just kind of like, wait, there's no competition there. I'm not thinking about my ex like that. - I guess what's tough with this one is they have kids, so it's not like she's completely out of his life. - Yeah. - They do probably. see each other. They're both parents to the same children. - Yeah. - Yeah.

- That adds another element. But you still, I mean, come on, you have no choice. but to kind of get over it. or you can't be in this relationship. if this is gonna eat at you like this it seems. - Yeah, I bet she thinks of the kids a lot in the way. of like, that's a leg up that that woman has on me. - Oh, I didn't even think about that. - Comments on this, in her head, your ex-wife is a hag that couldn't keep her husband. She thinks she's the upgrade, someone falling in love with. and committing to your ex doesn't fit her narrative.

Your ex was meant to grow old and alone in her mind. Your new wife isn't a good person. - Mm. - Someone said, if this is true, this is wild behavior. You seem healthy and well adjusted at least, the only thing I can think of is if she has. some irrational need to feel superior. to your ex-wife, maybe she's in constant competition with her. Someone said OP commented. that his wife was a colleague at the time of his divorce. He fell out of love with his ex and in love with her, but didn't consider the relationship cheating. because it wasn't physical. OP's wife played the long game,

but has been in competition with his ex the entire time. And OP never noticed. It's been a feather in her cap since she won him. And now that the ex moved on, she has to know. that she got the better man. - Yep. - Someone said, my immediate thought when reading this was. OP's wife was the other woman. Good to know that my instincts are correct. - Yes, I was thinking that. - Interesting element. I did not think about that. - Wait, what? - So OP's wife, the 30-year-old woman who's jealous in this story,

she was the other woman, so he basically. kind of cheated on his ex-wife with her, it's sounding like, like an emotional affair with her. So now that the ex-wife has moved on. and stuff, she's like, I'm not winning anymore. I won. - Totally. - So it's also like that weird, not fetish, but it's just like that weird, like some people like the danger of it. And when the danger is gone. when I'm not the other woman. When I'm the woman.

- Or the power of it all. - I shouldn't say woman when I'm the other person. in the relationship. It's not the primary partner. - But that makes so much sense. It's like it began as this like chase of like, oh, I need him to choose me outside of his marriage. And now that he's done that. There's this again, like whole story. that she's built up in her head. - It makes me question how long this. relationship has been going on. You know, if it's only been a year or so. She's his affair partner. This has all happened, but now it's like, okay,

well now you're just in a relationship. And now it's not exciting to her anymore. So she's gonna move on. Probably cheat on him. - Yeah. - To someone else - And finding that thrill. in stalking the ex. - Yep. Today's Reddit stories is brought to you by Hungry Root. Spring is here, and if you're like me, it means your schedule is starting. to get packed between balancing work, spring cleaning, spring travel, or just hanging out. with your friends on the weekend. It's sometimes hard to make it to the grocery store. That's why I've turned to Hungry Root. Hungry Root recommends healthy groceries that align.

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and I'm done talking to my husband about it. - Oh no. - This is sad. - Pretty much as the title says, my daughter turned five in the middle. of last week, but yesterday we had her birthday party. We had it at the local trampoline park since. that's her favorite place right now. Because of my husband's work schedule, I did the majority of the planning. He did contribute financially, but I planned the theme, made the party reservation, ordered the cake, made the party favors, et cetera. My daughter is a huge daddy's girl. and thus he is the favorite parent.

She's only five, so I don't hold it against her. by any means, but it still definitely hurts. For health reasons, I can't jump with my daughter, but my husband was, they both had a great time. and so did the other kids that were there. But just like previous years, I'm the one behind the camera. I take all the pictures every year. and I'm not in any of them. I've spoken to my husband about my feelings before, but all I get are empty promises of how he will do better. Last year we rented a room at the local conference center. for her party and I asked my grandmother to take pictures. of me and my husband holding our child while we sang.

Happy Birthday and cut the cake. Instead of pictures, she took a video. Once again, no pictures of me, call me old fashioned, but I like printing pictures for photo albums. and I can't exactly print off a video. So another year of no pictures. After yesterday's party, we decided. to take her gifts home rather than open them at the party. The kids had a very limited time at the park, so rather than spend 20 minutes opening presents, we figured it would be better to take them home. and open them there so the kids had more time to play. Even while opening presents, I was behind the camera.

My husband didn't think once. that I should be in any of them. By the end of the day, I was very upset. and I'll give my husband credit for knowing where I am. But then again, I wasn't really hiding it. I went to say goodnight to my daughter. because I had to be up early the next day, he followed me to talk to me. He said, what's wrong? What did I do? I just looked at him and said, it's what you didn't do. for the third year in a row. I went to the bedroom and he didn't follow me. I'm just done. I'm so sick of his empty promises. of doing better, besides little things like this,

he's a good husband and an amazing father, but it genuinely feels like there are times. when he doesn't think about me at all. And if anyone thinks, well, why don't you just ask him to take pictures? I shouldn't have to. I'd like to think that my husband would want pictures of me. and our child together. The last picture I remember him taking of me. and our daughter was in a restaurant on my 29th birthday. and I asked him to take it. I'm so tired of this. At any time I could get sick or be in an accident and die, and the only pictures my daughter will have. of me will be selfies I've taken,

none of me on her birthdays or even holidays. Because of our crazy schedules, I won't see my husband again until next Sunday. unless he stays up all night. to see me in the AM which he sometimes does. Part of me wants to text him and lay it all out again, but the majority of my thoughts is to just give up on it. I told my husband it's the third year in a row, but it's probably been more than that. I don't recall seeing any pictures of me. and her on her birthday or me even being in the background. I'm just so hurt and tired of it. Thanks for reading. - I'm like, pull yourself together.

(Shane laughing). What? - Yeah, I think I've got it. - I think I see a lot of elements of this. 'cause clearly it hurts her. She tells him after the fact every birthday of like, can you get photos of me? And he's like, oh yeah, for sure. I will. - Next year. - 365 days from that. And then he doesn't, and it just sounds like. he's a little like, just not the type to think about it, but I also understand she's hurt that she's like, I don't want to have to ask.

Like, I want you to care for me and take photos of me. because you know how important this is to me, but you're not doing it. However, out of all this, she's talking about like, it seems like in her quest to prove a point to him. that she's correct in, she's not getting photos. with her daughter on her birthday. And that matters to her so much. It sounds like she's giving up a little quickly. The grandma took a video, it's like, okay, you got a video. She could have just handed the phone back. and been like, can you also get some photos? - Right. - This one I think about a lot.

'Cause in my family, my mom loves photos. and the majority of my family, otherwise we just don't take photos. Like, I'm really bad with taking photos. My brothers are too. Like, we just don't think about it. But my mom is just like, okay, we're getting a photo. First thing we're doing when we all get together. on Sunday, we're getting a photo. And it's like, all right, okay, we'll get a photo. Like, all right, we're doing it. Like she, it matters to her. and like, we know that, so we're gonna do that. - That part of it just like truly cracks me up.

that she finally was like, okay, grandma, like here you take the photo and then grandma hands it back. and she goes, it's a video. - I do think she's doing a little bit. of the like martyrdom here where she's like, well, I guess I just won't be in any photos. It's like, hey, like I understand it sucks, I'm not disregarding that your husband should be taking. photos of you and your daughter. He needs to realize it's important to you. - Yeah. - And it should also. be important to him to have photos of you. Like, I agree with that, but giving up. And being like, well, I guess there just won't. be any photos of me when I die.

It's like, okay, well that sucks for you too. Don't self-sacrifice because your husband's forgetting this. - Yeah, it's clear to me. that there is a hypersensitivity toward. her taking photos. And we don't know where that comes from, but she's clearly finding great value and importance in this. and for that, I understand. - And I feel like the more, she's in a prison of her own making.

Like the more she pours into this idea, she's like purposely making it harder. She's like looking at all the ways that he will mess up. - Yeah. - She's looking for ways. that he's going to fail. Well, if you start filtering the world. in how is this going to happen? It's going to start happening the way you want it to happen. If I'm looking for all the ways, how is he really doing well? How is he being a really good husband? If she filters through that, she's gonna start seeing all the ways that he's coming. through for her and thinking about her.

- And it feels like she even like wrote some of that. Right? - She did. - Like, she talked about him like. staying up all night to see her. Like he sometimes does, I'm like, that's incredible. - There's stories where it's like, I can tell your husband. or the wife is doing a bunch of disrespect across the board. and here's an instance where it's the tipping point. This doesn't read like that. This reads like they are in a marriage. that they don't want to get out of. It's this one thing that she's just so mad about. - A hundred percent. - Because otherwise she's not.

saying he sucks all the time. She's like, this one thing. I want him to do that he's not doing. - But I think I can be empathetic toward the idea. that it is so crucial to her. - Totally. - Like it's kind of, it seems silly to be like, you know, I want him to just want photos of us. Like, you know, you can't really control people like that. And you can't be like, well, why don't you want that? But what you can do is communicate. and be like, this is really important to me.

- Right. - And it is important. that he learns that as you were saying. - Yeah. I think how she's going about this is like, not the right way. You know, it's like, okay, get the photos, you want these photos, get them. If you have to do it yourself, you have to do it yourself. And then after the fact though, tell him be like, it really hurts me when you don't like, take photos. - Yes. - Communicate that. - I just feel like she's not being vigilant enough. about getting the photos in the first place. Just tell him, - I know. - Frank.

Can you come take a photo of me and our daughter? And unfortunately that's it. - The way this is written, the way she's like talking about this, it makes me wonder how she's communicating this to him. Is it communicating. and I mean, you do have to be very. straightforward with people. And depending on the person, but you have to go and go, hey, it would mean so much to me if you take photos. of me without me asking. It hurts me when you don't take photos. 'cause it makes me feel invisible. It makes me feel like you're not thinking about me. Instead of, it could be like delivered.

as in wow, it really sucks. I guess I don't have any photos of myself this year. - Right. - Again. - Rooted in that sort of bitterness and resentment. of not having the photos. - Because some people just do not pick up on things. 'Cause she might say that and he goes, oh, that sucks. - Yeah. - I'll make sure next year. I get some photos. - And it's a quick passing by. - Next year rolls around. He's just at the trampoline place not thinking. - Right, right. - He's jumping on trampolines. - Like I think this is also like, it brings up like love languages and stuff.

and clearly like I think acts of service matter. to her and they may not matter. Like they may not be something he thinks about with him. My love language is photos. - I want photos. - I did the test, my love language is selfies. - No, not the selfies, those aren't enough. She has those. - But you know, he's staying up all night. She says he stays up all night sometimes to see me. - Yeah. - And it's like, so quality time might matter to him and like I said, she's not writing this like, I hate my husband. He sucks. - Yeah. - It's this one thing. - Yeah. - Comments on this.

Your feelings are valid. but you kind of cut off your nose to spite your face here. You should have insisted on some photos. Sure, you should not have to ask, but the end result is no photos. and you can't take that back. Someone else said, yeah, it truly sucks to have. to outright ask your partner to do something. that you are already doing for them. But I've discussed this with my therapist before. and for things like this, sometimes the only way. to actually get what you want is to be direct. If it was me, I'd stop my SO during the party, hand him my phone and directly tell him to take some photos.

of me and my child together. I totally get OP's frustration. But it's better she be direct. and ask than miss out on any more photos with her child. because her husband doesn't take the initiative. Someone else said, this absolutely sucks. and your husband needs to be better. I will suggest taking screenshots from the video of you. and your daughter and printing them out. A lot of times videos actually look better photo wise. I hope your husband starts respecting you more. OP said thank you. I'll try to do that later. Hopefully the quality is good enough for me. to get a couple of pictures. - I don't know about this quality being better.

I think grandma got on there and commented. Grandma's like, I need a word. It was in 0.5 too. There's the element too. of like the possible jealousy of like. the daughter really seemed to be a daddy's girl. Like to spend time with the dad. I just feel like I understand. - I forgot about the theme too. - I forgot it was jealousy. So yeah, you're absolutely right. Good one Shane. Hey, that's why you're in that seat. - Also probably jealousy there.

But I mean she, well what she's also is jealous of. just, there's all these photos. and I'm not in the photos, but I understand. what she wants and I've done it. before where it's like, yeah, you screw yourself over in the hopes that it's like, well they're gonna learn their lesson eventually, they're gonna go, oh man, we don't have any photos of you. And be like, yeah, 'cause you never took them. And now you learned your lesson. It's like, cool, well you're not in any photos. in the process of this too. - Yes, it's like you think you're gonna have. this huge impact because of your feelings.

It's like when you're mad at someone. and you just like kind of shut down. You're like, you don't actually deserve. my personality anymore. And it's like you're just doing that to yourself. and now you're just upset. And everyone else is kind of like, what's going on with you? - Right. - Yeah. - Update. Before I dive into the update, there are some comments that were made that I wanna address. Many pointed out that my husband is probably just someone. who wants to live in the moment. and I a hundred percent agree. The biggest reason I was hurt. was because of how many times I've spoken.

to him about my feelings and his constant. promises to do better. However, like many said, he probably just doesn't think about it at the time. I don't think he does it on purpose. or doesn't do it outta spite. He's probably having too much fun with our daughter. and forgets and I shouldn't have let it get to me too much. I still think I shouldn't have to ask, but we clearly have different views when it comes. to special occasions. He wants to live in the moment. and I wanna preserve the moments. With that said, please know. that I don't constantly have a camera in my hand. I just use my phone to snap pictures every so often. I put the phone down so I can enjoy my daughter's parties.

and family gatherings too. I just wanted him to do the same for me on occasion. Many have said to just take selfies of me and her and I do. I take a lot of them. I would just like pictures others have. taken as well or even just pictures of me there. where I'm not necessarily posing, just pictures of me playing with her. or hanging out at the party with family and friends. Many suggested hiring a photographer. - That's what I was about to say. I was like, why don't we just hire? - But that's not something we can really afford. But hopefully with our talk, we won't even need to consider it. Anyway, onto the update. My husband and I spoke last night when I don't have work.

the next day, I stay up late. so I can spend some time with him. and I wanted us to finally talk. When he came home, we sat down. He says he still didn't fully understand what he did wrong. and I told him again how I wasn't in any pictures. and how I have talked to him about this many times. I did say that I understand he was someone. who lives more in the moment, but I just wanted to have proof that I was there too, that I was present at her parties. and for her to have memories of me there. Our daughter is only five and she won't remember her parties. or holidays from when she was younger. As she gets older, I know she will know I was there,

but I also want her to see me. in her younger years as she grows up. There were some tears and we apologized to each other. He promised again to do better, but I'm not gonna lie, I'll believe it when I see it. as he said that before. LOL, and I promise to be more understanding. of his values, going forward, I'll ask family and friends to help take pictures. so there are also more photos to save and not just mine. And yes, as many said, there'll be times. where I just flat out ask him to take pictures. Thank you again to everyone who commented on my last post. I appreciate the support. and also the comments that made some great points about.

how each of us have different perspectives. and I need to be more understanding of his values. and not just mine. - Wonderful. I think that's great. - That was perfect. - I truly, I think she is valid in what she's feeling. And I just think that it's different priorities. I'm so glad that they had that conversation. That sounds like a really heartfelt. and productive moment for them. - They talked. - And I will say about the hiring. a photographer and like just hand the phone,

can you help me for two minutes? Can you take a couple candid photos? - And Grandma didn't succeed. - Why are you giving it to Grandma? Don't give the phone to Grandma. - She's like, I got it. I don't know what, if you need photos taken, do not hand it to an old person. - Ever. No, literally. Because then they go it's a video. - You truly better off handing it to a five-year-old, like hand it to anyone but the old lady. - Right. - Oh my God. - Crazy. - Even though you could also get some really funny photos. and content out of that. - There's plenty of stuff.

- If you want some genuinely good photos, hand it to a younger person. - Or the timer feature anybody? - Boom. - But she didn't want selfies. She wanted candid. - No, no, no, no. Timers aren't selfies Shane, let me teach you right here. You gotta like set it up. and you do like the three seconds or the 10 seconds. - I know but it's still a posed picture. She wants people taking photos of her while she's unaware. - Oh. - That's what candid is. - Oh, that's what she wants. - She said that in there. I don't want just posed, I want some.

- I see, I see. - She wants it happening. while she's not asking for it. - Gotcha. Gotcha. - And I get that 'cause those are like genuine moments. Candids are so good. - Great, great, great. - I definitely feel bad 'cause Courtney is someone. who takes tons of like candid photos. She's very good about it. And I'm horrible about it. I don't think about pulling out my phone to take photos. And I feel really bad about it. So sometimes when I do, I'm like, oh, like I feel bad. She doesn't have as many. 'cause like she takes tons of like candid photos of me. I feel like the majority of photos. of me are on Courtney's phone.

- Right. - Because I don't even. take photos of myself ever. Today's Reddit Stories is also brought to you. by Audible, if you're craving. your next action-packed Adventure, Audible delivers thrills of every kind on your command. From electrifying suspense. and daring quests, spine tingling horror, and romance in far off realms, Audible has something for everyone. Additionally, Audible offers not only thousands of titles. to choose from, but also podcasts. and exclusive Audible originals. And what I love about Audible is that the app. makes it easy to listen anytime, anywhere,

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That's audible.com/srrs or text SRRS to 500-500. to try audible free for 30 days. Audible. There is more to imagine when you listen. Back to the show. Our next story comes from, am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for calling my sister a jealous hag. because she got judgy over my husband. making me an Easter basket. I believe as of this airing Easter is tomorrow.

- So he has not risen. - He has not, he has not rised yet. - He has not. - My husband. and I do Easter baskets for one another. and this year he gave me mine early since I'll be gone. In the basket was the usual, dark chocolate bunny, Starburst jelly beans, and then some Swifty stuff from Etsy, a fidget toy. And really surprisingly, he got me three full bottles. of perfume that were on my wishlist. - Oh my God. - Cutie. - Hundred Silent Ways, Bianca Latte and Oriana.

I was shocked because that's a big spend. I was over the moon and took a pic. and posted it to my Insta story. The next day my sister came over, I'd left my basket on the table and she poked through it. and took some jelly beans. and then made a comment asking me if my husband. had stepped out on me or something. and was trying to make it up to me. I was like, no, of course not. Why would she say that? She asked why he'd go all out like this then, and how it must be nice to have all this extra money. to spend when everyone around us is struggling.

Oh, it must be nice to have such a picture perfect marriage. I was really taken aback. and asked her what her issue is. She was like, most women I know can't even get. their husbands to fill a Christmas stocking for them. and you're out here bragging about yours. and shoving it in everyone's faces. I'll be lucky if I get a card on my birthday. I told her to stop blaming me. because she chose to marry a thoughtless man. - Oh no, that's an overstep. - That she had the choice. to marry someone who did nice things for her. and she chose to marry a man who doesn't help.

around the house, buy her flowers, et cetera, and not be a pissy jealous hag. because she chose to settle for less. - Oh no. - Oh yes. - This set her off and she started arguing with me more, telling me that I'm (beep) up. for calling her a jealous hag. when there's nothing to be jealous of. More like embarrassed that it's 2024. and I'm acting like life is a rom-com. That the fact that I even listened to Taylor Swift is proof. that I need to grow up. I told her to just get out. and double down on her being a pissy jealous hag. Now that I'm on the other side of the country for work,

I feel like maybe I was over the top. in calling her a jealous hag. You're just jealous is the most annoying comeback. in the world and I used it on my own sister. She also typically texts me throughout her day. and she hasn't sent me anything since then, which means she's definitely still pissed. Am I the asshole? - No, she's a jealous hag. - You didn't need hag. - You didn't need hag, but sorry. She was being a jealous hag. - She was being jealous. I didn't get hag. - I was getting pissy though.

- Hags can be extremely powerful. - Yes, they're curses. - They're curses. They can be very powerful. They're a formidable opponent. - It was a compliment. - It was actually, I meant it as a compliment. - I was trying to say something nice. - I meant that you're cursed. That's such a wild statement. Like to see like a really kind gift to be like, so did he like cheat on you? - Yeah, what? - Damn bro. - And also what if life was a rom-com. - Right. And sorry, was life a rom-com and now it's not.

because it's 2024. What does that mean? - I'm not saying she's wrong or not, but if someone said something of that, especially like a brother or sister, they said all of that shit of that nature, I think my response would be like, is everything okay? - Right. - Like did your husband. cheat on you? Whoa, I'm feeling some projection here. - She can't even get a birthday card is what she said. So clearly she's unhappy. - Damn. - She's 100% projecting.

and yes, maybe not a hag, but 100% jealous. - Yeah, I mean she is being jealous. - Or envious. Yes. - Absolutely. in this situation. And she's saying really mean things. - 100% - Out of thin air. where it's not necessary at all. I also, I can understand the hag. if this is a series of a pattern. If she's probably been dealing with this, this is her sister. They text all day every day, she's saying. This has probably been behavior.

that's been going on for a long time. - Yeah. - Then that happens. - Did she say it was older or younger? - I'm assuming older 'cause she's a hag. - Oh, I was assuming younger. Because she was acting like a hag. - She was acting like a hag. I don't actually know. It doesn't say, but. - Just with the power dynamic, I guess it goes either way too. - I guess my thought always is with like with siblings--. - Especially sisters. - As sisters.

is I'm like, okay, it doesn't matter necessarily to me. if you're an asshole or not. It's just like, what do you want to happen? Because by calling your sister a hag, it can't just end there. You gotta, if this is someone you're, if you're planning on cutting her outta your life, you can say whatever you want to her, but if you guys are gonna maintain a relationship. for the rest of your life, like you're gonna have. to resolve every argument. and everything you say to each other. So like, are you trying to make the situation more intense. or are you trying to like, that's why I'm not saying she's wrong.

for calling her a hag as much as I'm like, eventually do you want your sister. to not be this way to you? So I like call her out on that behavior. Calling her out on her behavior is totally warranted, but also being like, why are you saying these things? - It certainly seems like a quick response. She was obviously just reacting out of anger. because clearly her sister. threw the first punch, so to speak. - Yeah. - She immediately.

saw this basket. What I'm getting from it is that she was like, oh my gosh, like I wish my husband would do something like this. Like he would never, and it's sort of like, well, I need to protect myself. and convince myself that this isn't what I want. By being like, ew. Who would want this? - Yeah. - And bring her sister down, which affected her sister obviously. and made her be like, why aren't you supporting me? You pissy jealous hag. And jumped in there and kind of attacked her like that. and clearly, it seems like she's not a bad person.

She's like feeling regret for saying that stuff. She's guilty. - Of course, of course. - But she was being jealous. and I think she did deserve. to be called out on that front. - Definitely. - Absolutely. I do think in these situations when someone's acting. irrationally or saying really jealous things. or really like cruel. or just like out of pocket stuff, I do think questions disarm the situation so much better. And I think you can still get that satisfaction. of kinda like, if you wanna dunk on them, you can still get it by just.

throwing a question back at them. It's just like, sometimes it's as simple as like, why would you say something like that? - That's brilliant. - And it's just like. well I don't know then, I can't get my husband to do this. It's like, why do you think that is? Like just if you ask these questions, she's gonna have to admit. she's already kind of admitting her situation sucks. But the verdict was not the asshole. Comments. Not the asshole for calling her out on her jealousy. as she was the one who made an issue where one didn't exist.

and then attacked you by trying to say. that your taste in music made you immature. Different people have different budgets. and therefore different lifestyles. That's just the way things are, where you are. kind of the asshole. is when you commented on her relationship. with her husband, is the guy truly thoughtless. or did you just irrationally lash out. because your sister was being aggressive? If she and her husband can't afford lavish gifts, that doesn't mean that what they do get. is any less meaningful. - Hmm. - That's also true. She was also like, oh, it's not my fault you married. a thoughtless man. - Which was fire, - Like throwing it. Well look, if I'm watching Bridgerton, I'm like, hell yeah.

- You're like, yeah, you wait. - I feel like asking questions. I feel like she was already saying that like she's offended. by you confirming what she was already saying. It's like I can't get my husband to do this. It's like, well you married a thoughtless guy. It's like, how dare you. - Right. - Yeah. - That's what you just said. - But that is a fair argument though. that like that's just assuming. like just because he is not giving you gifts doesn't mean. that he's a bad husband. Like there's clearly hopefully other qualities.

that are redeemable in him. - And it goes back to love languages too. - OP responded to that saying, hi, I wanted to respond to this. because I wanna make it clear that I don't say these things. because he isn't spending tons. of money on lavish gifts for her. I get why there's hesitance over me naming the perfumes, but I thought it would be useful context. I hope my explanation helps. It's not about the money but about the effort and attention. My sister's husband does not pay attention to what she likes. or dislikes in terms of gifts, if he even remembers to get her things. He gives her very generic things. that he probably finds on lists of 30 gifts for wives.

and it's often stuff she doesn't like. She has complained about it for years. and nothing ever changes. because at his core he doesn't care. She'll go out of her way to make stockings for him. and the kids, but she doesn't get that effort returned. Aw. - She heard us and said no, he sucks. - No, I'm sorry, he's a piece of shit. - Yeah. - Someone else asked. Easter baskets for adults. Never heard of it. No Shade. OP says, I don't think it's that common, but my mom always did it for my dad. and they have a really good and fun marriage.

It's always been just really silly stuff. dressed up in the old baskets we have. One year, my mom didn't realize when Easter was. and ended up giving my dad stuff from the pantry he forgot. about and he was over the moon. because he didn't know we had beef jerky left. LOL. - That's so sweet. - That's very sweet. - Yeah. Please say update. - No update. - Don't. - I don't think there's much. - There's not much to update. - Well I wanna know if the sister's like bitch, and coming back, you know? - The sister needs to realize the villain here. is her husband.

- That's juicy. - That is the case. The sister's getting mad at OP, but the real problem is her husband is a piece of shit. - Is he a piece of shit? - The OP was just like he's not really. like thinking about her like at all. - Well 'cause he's the Easter bunny. He has Easter to think about. - There you go. He's got a bunch of eggs to deliver up in their basket. - Bet you didn't think about that. - Okay. Our next story comes from relationship advice.

I, a 28-year-old man am considering leaving my girlfriend. who's 29 after she catfished me as a prank. - Oh. - Oh! - Okay, I'm kind of in. - I'm very much in. - Yeah. - I know. - Okay, so OP's girlfriend catfished him as a prank. - Yeah. - Me and my girlfriend. have been together for two years. I've always thought she was very sweet and kind. and I really appreciate how much she loves me. and while she sometimes got a little jealous, I didn't think it was a big deal.

Hell maybe I even enjoyed being doted on like that. It made me feel really attractive, which I never really felt I was. Recently, we attended a work event organized. by my company and we met one of my coworkers there. She works at a different branch. and we hardly ever talk outside of work emails and calls, but we get along well enough. This event was my girlfriend's first. and only time meeting this coworker. On the way back from the event. and the following day, my girlfriend. was acting a little weird. She kept asking me about a work wife. and asking if I thought that coworker was pretty.

and other stuff about her. I knew my girlfriend could get kind of jealous. and I did my best to calm her down. No, that woman isn't my work wife. I don't follow her on any socials. I don't even have her personal phone number. I don't think she's more beautiful than my girlfriend. and I am happy with my girlfriend, et cetera. She seemed to relax and things got back to normal. A few weeks later out of nowhere, I got a follow request on IG. My account is private, from my coworker. I approved and followed back. Her account is also private. That account was almost nothing. but a few pictures of her in swimsuits.

uploaded very recently. It didn't look like anything overtly sexy, just normal vacation pics. But there was nothing but vacation pics. It seemed weird, but I didn't really care. Then a few days later she DMed me on IG. It was just small talk and I replied, but it wasn't flirty. or anything in my opinion. She kept reaching out every few days. and eventually it did seem to get kind of flirty. I told her this felt inappropriate. and I was in a relationship. and I'd appreciate if we kept things professional,

which she seemed okay with. My girlfriend seemed extra affectionate the days after that. and while I didn't suspect anything at the time, you can all probably see exactly where this is going. Still, at the time I was happy. and my girlfriend even seemed to be better. regarding her jealousy. But then last week I got a follow recommendation on my IG. It was my coworker's account. This one wasn't private and was just a normal IG account. and looking through it, that was. where those swimsuit picks came from. Here they were, just a part of her normal IG account, which contained mostly normal picks.

and not just swimsuit ones. Then I put two and two together. Before confronting my girlfriend, I talked to that coworker at work. and asked for her IG account. and she gave me her normal one, which I followed. and indeed she gave no indication. that we ever interacted on IG before. So it became clear I was being catfished. I confronted my girlfriend then. and at first when I was trying to be subtle, she denied everything outright. Then she shifted to gaslighting me about it. and saying it was just a prank or that it was a test. or that because she was cheated on before,

she just needed to know that she could trust me. I told her that her being able to trust me was great, but how am I supposed to trust her now? She said that made no sense. and kept deflecting no matter how I tried. to explain going so far as to question. how I even knew it was her, if I wasn't cheating on her. with my coworker, I told her that this was unfair. and manipulative and that I needed some time and went home. She's been texting and calling since saying. that I'm ruining a great relationship over nothing. I'm overreacting. and that when I finally realize how much she loves me,

it might be too late. and it's not fair for me. to throw everything we built over some skank, but that just feels incredibly manipulative to me. and like she doesn't get what she did wrong at all. So I'm conflicted between wanting to just cut and run. and giving it another go. After all we've been happy together for two years, but also can trust be rebuilt after something like this? - A second jealous hag. - Shamed. I'm like, I'm like.

- Okay, all right. Pulling something out. Okay. And you got oh, throwing it out the window. - Taking out the trash bitch. - Wow. - Gotta get in the cabinet. - Yeah. - The new one. - Yeah. - Put the coworker in there. (Shane laughing). - Unfortunately, (beep) is a little obvious. - (beep) off. She's gotta go. - Unhinged behavior. And just, it continued to get worse.

The gaslighting, the being like, well, it was a test. It was a prank. I actually just needed to make sure. because I'd been cheated on. - You're gonna miss me. I'm the best thing that's ever gonna come to you. - Bye. - I'm gonna lie to you. I'm gonna test you without you knowing. I'm gonna pretend to be people I'm not. I'm gonna make your relationship. with your coworker possibly weird. - Yes. - And let's like think about that. for a second of like creating an Instagram. account for someone else. Going on their profile. Finding like the scandalous swimsuit pictures.

- Finding only the swimsuit photos. - And then the fall. and then the, every few days, the small talk. until it eventually gets flirty. Do you have a job? - Or a hobby. - Or anything. - It's a lot of time. - Effort. - It would be like, okay, the trust is broken, the lying, all this stuff. But at the end of the day also, it's like. you're also kind of a loser. - Right. - And I have the ick. because you're a loser. - Big ick. Big ick. Because you're crazy town. - And it's like what was best case scenario?

Like you catch, or I guess she, that was best case scenario is that she doesn't. - Yeah, I mean, but I've said it before, like, to me, like the cheating, the worst part of cheating is like the lying and stuff. And by catfishing him, it's not much different in a way. - Also, it's such an invasion. She knows how to flirt with him. She's his partner. She knows exactly what to say. She already did it once. - It's awful. - That is so awful. - It's twisted. - It's really twisted.

- Like the logic of putting all that together. and just thinking, I'm not doing anything wrong. because I'm about to catch him. doing something wrong possibly. - Yeah, possibly. - It's also the thing of she's like, well, I trust you now, I don't believe this is. where this behavior ends. Dude, if you keep dating her, she's gonna do this again. Those feelings aren't just gone forever. She has trust issues. and that's a thing she's gotta deal with. She has to reckon with that herself.

- Yes. - It's not gonna be solved. in this kind of manner. - Right. - The next woman he meets, she's gonna have to do this again. He's gonna get follow requests on IG every year. - Well that too. Now she's given, she's distributed her trust issues. Now this man also is gonna have. to face some of that, you know? - Oh my god. - No. And like her calling of the coworker a skank. It's like, okay, whoa, you don't even know, like this lady didn't do anything. - Just breathed. - Truly did nothing. - But be kind.

That's it. - And it's like, it's not even someone he's like close with. - They didn't even even follow each other on Instagram. - They literally, I don't even. really know this person. - Right. - And it's like, okay. So God forbid you actually are friendly with someone. God forbid you actually like someone you work with. As a friend, he's not gonna be able to associate. with any women like ever with this girlfriend. - Skank is way worse than hag though. - You think so? - Oh, I would rather be called a skank than a hag. - Really? - Yeah, absolutely.

- A hag. I'd just be like, all right, move on. Skank, I'd be like you've disrespected me. Well for sure. - Okay. Comments. I couldn't forgive someone. after they breached my trust like this. The fact that she did this with no care. for the consequences too. You could have potentially reported your colleague. to HR shows incredibly poor judgment as well. as all the obvious other problems with this. This is likely not the only unhinged thing she's done. in your relationship and it won't be the last. OP said, I don't think she ever did anything. on this level before, but obviously there were signs.

I just didn't really wanna see it. because I was never regarded as particularly attractive. and having someone be this into me just felt really nice. But I guess a lot of this is my own issues I need to work. through and this relationship is clearly not. as great as I may have thought. - Yeah. - That's really true. - He said that, he said that up there. that like she had shown signs of jealousy, but he was like, well, I'm wanted, and that's valid. That's fair. But it just could orchestrate into something. bigger and messier. - Someone else said, never stay with anyone who tests you. They want you to fail the test.

to prove their doubts are genuine. Every time you pass, they'll be loving for a bit. until another doubt enters their head. And they come up with another test for you to pass. It's no way to live your life. No trust equals no relationship. OP said, oh my god, this is it. I didn't even realize how much of a test. some of the previous stuff had been, like asking my opinion on other women. or getting my opinion on characters cheating on TV. There was just always something. Someone said, you guys are way too old. for this high school behavior. I'd end it. OP said, I completely agree.

This just doesn't sit right with me at all. Like this weird mind game bullshit. That's not how you treat a person you supposedly love. I think I might have to end it. I just needed the push. Yeah. - Push. - There's no update. 'cause that was this week as of recording it. - Oh my god. - That doesn't feel right. - Yeah. But this type of stuff is super common. I hear about this all the time. - Oh, yeah. - And I've also been. in situations in my past. where I understand like the feeling of insecurity. and wanting to be like these doubts I have in my head,

how do I prove that they're right? But it's like if, to me, if you don't trust your partner, that is such a deep issue. - Also on Instagram right now, how you can see the like things. that people like that you follow. You know what I mean? It's kind of changing the game. for me a little bit because there's some boys. that I'd be liking and they're like, I'm like looking at. what they're engaging with and liking. and it's some weird shit. And it's some questionable shit. and I'm like, oh, oh no.

- Yeah. - Oh no, yeah. - See, I feel like there's just--. - There's like some racy jokes and I'm like, you liked this? You thought this was funny? - Okay, now that. - That's tough. - When you see, like, when you're on Reels, then it shows you like, what are your friends liking? I'll like click on it sometimes. And girl. - What if you guys looked over. and I was suddenly sweating and I was like, you can't see. So you could do that? - We see that you're liking your edits. - We can see that.

- Shane talk thirst trap. Is that worse than me liking? - You created the account, you've created. the edit and then you go to another account and like it. - Courtney's like, I think I'm jealous of you. - Or it's like Spencer thirst traps. - So Courtney would be like, I get it. - Yeah. - That's funny. - Courtney's like, I made that one actually. - I actually make those. - It's good, it's good. - And you fell for the trap. - She's like, you didn't like my Spencer Thirst Trap edit.

All right. Our next story comes from, am I the asshole? And it ended up on am I the devil? - Whoa, it's gonna be good. - Yeah. Am I the asshole for my reaction. to my sister-in-law's nickname for my husband? - Sister-in-law. - Her husband's sister has a nickname for him. - OP's husband has a sister. and that sister is calling her brother. who's the OP's husband a nickname? - Yes. - I'm with you. - Okay. The people involved, me a 27-year-old woman. My husband Connor, 27-year-old man,

and his sister Sophie, a 30-year-old woman. Fake names. I feel uncomfortable with the nickname. ,y sister-in-law calls my husband. All right, what do we think the nickname is? - Pooky. - Pooky? That'd be rough. - Gingy. - Oh. - Maybe he's like Ginger and she calls him Gingy. - They'd be pretty rough. - Maybe babe. - Babe. - Daddy Warbucks. - Daddy Warbucks. - Daddy at all would be creepy. - Okay.

Bubby, Bubs or Booba. It's not inherently sexual, but I think it's weird. gor two grown adults. No one else in his family calls him that. Just her, when I brought it up to my husband, he brushed me off saying she's always called him that. Last night at a family dinner, she used the nickname. and I guess I made a face. and got quiet, which I tend to do. Later when we were alone, she asked if something was wrong. I debated saying nothing. but figured this was my chance to address it. I told her I found it inappropriate, especially since my husband. doesn't like nicknames in general. She wasn't surprised, which annoyed me.

and said that as long as Connor doesn't mind, she doesn't see the issue. She also said she felt like. I was implying something inappropriate, which was gross. Her words. Then that set me off. and I regrettably made a comment about. how she's been single her whole life. and might be projecting onto her brother. She just started laughing. and said, if I'm jealous of my husband's sister, I need couples therapy. Then she said she'd ask Connor if it bothered him. and if so, she'd stop. At that point I panicked. because I didn't want this getting back to my in-laws. As she was leaving, I killed her, I'm just kidding.

- Oh my God. (Shane laughing). - You had me, I was so gripped. - At that point, I panicked. because I didn't want this getting back to my in-laws. As she was leaving, I told her not to start drama. and to handle it like adults instead of telling on me. - Oh. - She just rolled her eyes. and said, you made your bed. Today, she called Connor and told him everything.

He said, the nickname doesn't bother him, and that my reaction was disrespectful to his sister. He also said it made him feel like, I don't see their relationship. as platonic, which is disgusting. I told him, I don't think he has bad intentions, but I can't say the same for his sister. That just made him more upset. Now he's being cold toward me. I know I didn't handle it perfectly, but I don't get why it's such a big deal. Their insistence on keeping the nickname makes me feel like. something bigger is going on. So Reddit, am I overreacting? Should I push this or do I need to drop it? - Yeah, it's like it's a sister,

like they have a completely different dynamic. - It's probably been a nickname that they've had. since they were kids, so it's like. it's not something he thinks about, like as an adult, he doesn't want new nicknames, but. - Yeah. - Well, is it even a nickname? It's just kinda what you call me. - Right. - I understand that. Like my mom, like my mom has a nickname from, for her brothers call her a nickname. - Yeah. - But it's like from like. when they were like little kids. And it comes from like. before they could speak properly.

- It's just a habit at this point. - And Bubby, Bubs or Booba, like almost sounds like she was trying. to say Brother as a little kid. She's like, Booba. You know? It just kinda stayed that way. - The oldest son is always Bubba, so my dad's Bubba. I'm Bubba. - Wow. - Yeah. - It seems like, - And especially for grandparents too, Nana, Dadda. - Right, I think it, there's just clear, clearly there's just discomfort. There's jealousy, there's just weirdness around it. Maybe she just genuinely is like finding. that like nickname icky. and it's just like, I don't wanna hear that, but it's just like, you're not involved.

in that relationship. just because you're married to him. Like that's weird being like, you can't call him that. Like, that's the sister. - The type of control that's really intense. - Yeah, and again, it's like for me, like since they're siblings, it just seems so clear. to be like, there's obviously nothing going on. - In regards to siblings, and this is a nickname. that's been around a long time. This is very silly. - Yeah. - It's also like. if my friends have a nickname. for me that like my college friends have nicknames for me. - Yeah. - But like if my partner.

was like, I don't like them calling you that nickname. What, why? - I guess if it was like drawn from, like, again, that's why I was guessing like, babe, like if your friends are calling them like. mostly romantic nicknames, then it's maybe like, hey, like maybe that one's reserved for me. You know? - But like a nickname is not like, babe, it's not like a pet name. - It's like a specific to that person, not something. that you dish around to anyone.

- Right, right. - So like Rosh, like I wouldn't call anyone else Rosh probably. - But then like if my partner was like, hey, don't call her that. That's weird. - Sure. - That's Rosh. I know her before I knew you. What you talking about? That's Rosh to me. - The only situation I could think. of a nickname being inappropriate. or uncomfortable as if like someone had a nickname. for your partner and it was like very sexual. - Yeah, exactly. - Then I'd be like, okay. Yeah, but like that's a very specific situation. - Yeah. - This is not.

that situation whatsoever. - Like Titty-Jinny. Like, don't call my wife Titty-Jinny. - Don't call my husband Titty-Jinny. - Call her skank. - Yeah, call her hag. - Call her hag. Comments. You're the asshole. I live in the South. I can't throw a rock right now. and not hit at least five Bubbas. The female version is Sissy. Every little kid down here calls their brother Bubba or Bubs. or their sister Sissy or Sis. It's literally the most common nickname in this region. If you yell it at Walmart, you'll get the attention.

of all the shoppers. What's gross though is you thinking something more than. sibling affection is going on here. and you do need to work through that asap. Oh, and FYI, I have at least two cousins older than 55. that are still known as Bubba. OP responded, this genuinely helps a lot. I'm not from the US. and an only child, so this is all new to me. His family is originally from the South, so that context makes a lot of sense. That has 149 down votes. She's like, I understand now.

and I'm wrong, and everyone's like (beep) you. - Everyone's like, no, you killed her. - Still (beep) hate you. Someone replied to that, so instead. of asking/looking into the culture of your in-laws, you went off, you need some help. Seriously. Instead of being curious. and having the desire to learn, you go, it's wrong. You've some serious learning to do. Oh, another person said, you're the asshole. You sound like a jealous kid with a schoolyard crush, not an adult in your late 20s. What they call each other is their business, but the real problem here is.

that it sounds like you never brought this up. to your husband before you going to his sister. Marriage is about communicating. If it made you uncomfortable, he should have been your first port of call, or at least you should have brought it up. right after you talk to her. rather than waiting for him to find out. OP said, just to clarify, someone mentioned this earlier, but it got lost in the comments. I wrongly assumed that bubby was a mix of hubby. and brother, which is why it felt strange to me. I'm an only child. My family doesn't use nicknames. and I'm not from the US, which doesn't mean I was right, but I do think it's an important context.

I'll talk to Connor asap to clear things up because yeah, I'm obviously the asshole here. Someone replied to that saying, I'm sorry about the fact. that your mind went to incest simply. because of a nickname you didn't know the meaning of. and put together in your head is disturbing. You need help to figure out why you went there. because being an only child. or your family not using nicknames should be irrelevant. This is her husband and she's never asked him like, where does bubby come from? - Right. - That's all this took. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But she let it linger all this time.

- She's like, it's incest. - Yeah, that's definitely odd, but I will give her credit for being open. and clearly quickly being like, you know what? You're right, I'm the asshole. I mean, she asked and she's not upset at the answer. - Her acknowledging it. and that getting down votes is funny to me. People are still throwing tomatoes at her. - It's all the bubbies they've gathered. - Yeah, oh my God. I just think like all of this, like I understand.

that there's culture differences. and all sorts of things. I mean, none of it really justifies it in my head, but like all of it is just alleviated. by just talking to your husband. Talking to him first. - Right. - Instead of holding this in. and then bringing it out towards his sister. Our last story comes from, am I overreacting. and also ended up on am I the devil? - Oh. - Damn. - Am I overreacting for being offended. that my parents called a little girl, the cutest little girl they had ever seen.

- Your ass is ugly. Get over it. - You little hag. - I think voice inflection. matters a lot here. They said it very emphatically. and with purpose as if they meant every word sincerely. Context. At my brother's wedding, the bride's 4-year-old niece was the flower girl. I was 26 at the time, I get it. It sounds like I'm jealous of a 4-year-old and I'm not. She was an adorable little girl. I also understand that families sometimes kiss the keisters. of their in-laws to establish. or retain good family relations. The way they said it was such absolutism.

just rubbed me the wrong way. She is the cutest little girl I have ever seen. They fond over and over again. I'm their only daughter, so I felt some kind of way about it. just standing off to the side, like, great. I'm just not a fan of speaking in absolutisms to begin with. I tend to take things very literally. I avoid saying things like, that's the best wedding/party I've ever been to. because it could easily be overheard. by someone else whose wedding/birthday party, retirement party I've attended, I don't know. It felt like a burn from my parents.

Am I overreacting. or do my own parents think I wasn't that cute? I mean, why didn't they say cutest kid I've ever seen? Because that would contend with my brother. Why couldn't they have just said she's adorable. So cute. She did a great job in her role. You can compliment without setting up a favoritism paradigm. ETA, they were speaking to the flower girls' grandparents. - Absolutisms. - Instead of just being like, oh, she's really cute. Being like, she's actually the cutest girl I've ever seen. in my entire life. - Yeah, but only Sith deal in absolutes, so.

- So maybe they are wrong. - Yeah. - I would simply try. to make this woman understand. that she is just this small person right here. and that there's a whole fricking world. - I would make her understand that she's a disgusting hag. - I mean, I wasn't gonna say it. - No, I'm just kidding. - Like she's like, oh my god, everything that happens around me. has to do with me. - Yeah. No, she's definitely--. - She needs to grow up. - Yeah. I'm like, okay, bro.

Like, whoa. Also, the context of this, like weddings, like, dude, people just are in their feelings at weddings. Like at weddings, the flower girl, and they're talking to the flower girls' grandparents. Of course they're gonna be like, she is just the most precious thing. I've ever seen in my entire life. It's like you're sitting here thinking about yourself. in competition with a 4-year-old. All of a sudden they turn back and, and OP is like going. down the aisle with the flowers. - She rips it out of her hands. - It's clearly just mommy daddy issues, and she's like, oh my god,

this four year old's cuter than me. - Maybe she didn't get enough love as a child. - It's totally that. - And look, I'm not saying there's other things going on here, but it's just like, dude, you're 26. - Right. - There's an open bar. Go get a drink. Go have some fun, man. - Right, right. - And if there's not an open bar, you've got bigger issues here. - I think it's just what is confusing me here, what's confusing me here is that like these people, they write these posts. and aren't able to be like, wait, this is a metaphor. for what I need to deal with in therapy.

Instead, they're like, why am I obsessing over the sentence. that my parents said? And everybody else has to be like, hey, honey. And walk them to what it actually means. - Yeah. - That's really concerning. - Yeah, I think this person's having a hard time thinking. that other people don't think the way she does. Because she's like, I don't speak in absolutism. because what if I say, this is the best party. I've ever been to, and someone else nearby has had a party recently. and they feel bad about it. I'm like, they're not feeling bad about it.

- Yeah. - Probably. - So she's maybe just like overly considerate in a way. - Yeah 'cause that's how she thinks of things, but it's like, hey, other people don't think that way. - Yes. - I'm sure your parents. don't think that girl is better than you, like you're their daughter. and you're an only child, but it is self-centered. - That's a great point. - Her universe. is very self-centered. She's just thinking about herself. in relation to everything going on here. - And it's manifesting in a way of her, of exactly what you said.

It's a great point of like, so often we get caught in the cycle of like, this is how I think and therefore every human. around me thinks the exact same way. - Right. - And it almost goes back. to the story with the photos. The wife is like, well, I think that photos are important. and I need to have them with my daughter. My husband definitely thinks that too, and so therefore him not taking photos with me. is intentional. and it's like we literally all think so differently. You cannot assume that. - Also, look, this kid might be the cutest 4-year-old ever,

but it's like, hey, wen she's 26 years old, go find her. and be like, yeah, how do you match up to when I was 26? - Kill her. - Hell yeah. - Oh my god, sorry. - Comments. I get it. It sounds like I'm jealous of a 4-year-old and I'm not. Yes. You're jealous of a 4-year-old. Someone else said, did I miss something? Is this really about your parents making a compliment. about a 4-year-old girl? I think of all the things someone could do. to make you feel bad about yourself, that's really not that bad.

I think it had nothing to do with you. and you'd probably be a lot happier not wasting. your energy on such things. You're essentially saying you'd feel happy. or policing what kinds of compliments your parents pay. That's what would make you happy. OP responded saying, no, what would make me happy is feeling like I was. the cutest little girl my parents had ever seen. Instead of being saddled. with this lifelong inferiority complex. - This is a test. This is a prank. This is a test. - She's fighting. - Yeah, you know it's bad when they're fighting it. You end up on, am I the devil.

when you fight in the comments. - Oh, I just wanna read those. - The other woman from the last story should. not have been an am I the devil I don't think. - Right, it's kind of crazy. - She admitted she was wrong. - She admitted she was wrong. That part. - Twice over. - Yeah. Someone said, I read an article once from a woman. who had a baby, and after the birth, the doctor got the baby all cleaned up. and handed it to the mother and said, this baby is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. The mother beamed and told all her friends. and family what he said, sometime later, maybe years I can't remember, she met another mother whose kid was close to the same age.

as her, and they compared birth stories. It turned out they had the same doctor. The other mother proudly said. that the doctor said her baby. was the most beautiful baby he'd ever seen. The first mother, the writer. of the article was shocked. All this time, she believed. that the doctor really thought her baby. was the most beautiful, but it then dawned on her that he said this. to all the mothers. So my advice is. to take your mother's comments with a grain of salt. I am certain that you were, and in her mind still are. the most beautiful little girl she has ever seen. OP responded. - Oh my god.

- Saying, I wish I could give you an award. for this beautifully written, insightful. and emotionally intelligent response. All I can offer is an up vote. and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your response means a lot to me. - Aw. - That was nice. But also the doctor we're omitting a possibility. that it was the most beautiful baby and then a new baby, this is now the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. - New baby just dropped and it's the most beautiful. and it's like, oh, new baby just dropped. - This is the most beautiful baby. - Look, the odds are there. of every baby he sees is just a little better.

than the previous baby. - That's natural. - That goes for everybody. - It's just we're getting hotter. - Babies are all getting better. - The earth is getting hotter. Babies are getting hotter. Let's ride. - Guys, good news. Every human that's coming out, they're all stronger. They're faster. - They're hot, you guys, right out the oven, they're hot. (Shane laughing). - Oh my god. - The doctor's like, your baby's hot. - Your baby is hot.

- It's like he said, my baby was the most beautiful baby. he's ever seen. He's like, he told me my baby was hot. - He said, my baby was sexy. - He said, what? - Bring that Titty-Jinny over. - He said, gimme that skank. - Your baby's a hag. - Okay, can I say though? Okay. Because I think babies are super cute. Right? - Some, most. - Babies are super cute. I think all babies are are really cute, but sometimes you'll like a friend of yours.

Like you'll know someone and they're an attractive person, but they'll show you a baby photo. and you're like, oh my god. Whoa. - Bad. - You turned out good, but like, whoa. - And enough said. - Your parents probably didn't know what was gonna happen. - Right. Yeah. - Wow. - Yeah. - Well. - I'm glad that she also seems. like she accepted accountability, which I guess gets you into the am I the devil club?

- In that one comment, yeah. It seems like she gets it a little bit. Hopefully. - Yeah, yeah. - But still funny. - Yeah. - Damn. Well, this was a lot of jealousy. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And envy. - And some envy. - And some envy. - A little sprinkles of envy in there. Thank you both for joining me. - I feel like I learned something. - What was it? You don't know? - Yeah, I don't know, but I just feel it. Maybe some of the babies. - I think I did.

I don't know what it is, but I think I learned something. - That's great. - Hey, that's good. - Well, thank you both for being here. You guys are definitely the second best guests. I've ever had. - Okay. - I think. I just learned something else. - Just kidding. You're the best guests. I've ever had on this show. - Yeah! - No, he says that to everybody. - Oh. - You're the best host. - Thank you all for watching. Thank you for watching. Let us know what other themes and subreddits. you'd like to see on this show, and we'll see you next Saturday. - Bye. - Bye.

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