First Date Flops | Reading Reddit Stories

- Welcome back to more Wild Reddit Stories. Today I'm joined by Chanse and Courtney. Welcome back, both of you. You both have been here at least, like, three times? - (raspy voice) Twice. - (raspy voice) I think, twice or three times. (all laugh). - What the heck? Okay. - [Chanse] I like it. (Courtney laughs). So these stories today, the light theme here is like casual dating. It's a good theme. We've covered it on a lot of Reddit stories. - So it's less relationships...

- Less relationships, more just like casual, like the early parts of dating. - The early stages. - First dates, third dates. - Getting to know people. - Yeah, probably. - Just getting to know someone. - I haven't read them, but you know. - [Chanse] Great. - Which I'm kinda glad, 'cause relationship ones are often like, they're intense. - [Chanse] Yeah. And they're harder to relate to. unless you've been in a lot of relationships, yeah. - So this comes from, "r/AmItheButtface", which is interesting because. "r/AmItheAsshole" tends to ban. any stories that focus on a relationship or dating. - Yeah, I think it's 'cause.

they want it to go to relationship advice, they try to keep it there. - Yeah, there's specific subreddits for things. But, "r/AmItheButtface" was made to. kind of circumnavigate that rule. But this got put on "r/AmItheDevil". which is where... - Oh, shit, so this is... - the worst of the worst end up, so this might be crazy. "Am I the buttface for canceling a date. but then going to the gym? So I, a male, 23, matched with this girl. who's 21, on Tinder about a week ago. We both wanted something casual for the summer.

About four days ago we made plans for tonight. I started feeling under the weather. with a sore throat and nausea last night, I told her and we agreed to play it by ear. Today rolls around, and around 2PM our plans were. for the evening around 7 to 8. I told her that I still wasn't feeling well. and that I didn't wanna risk getting her sick. She was understanding about it. By 6, I was feeling a little better, and my friend asked me to go to the gym with him. Thinking it was too late to rekindle our plans, I just decided to go with my friend. without asking the girl if she still wanted to hang.

I sent her a Snap from my car, and she asked where I was going. I told her I was going to the gym. and she called me a (beep) and has removed me. from all the apps, am I the buttface?". Edit here: "My friend was aware of how I felt earlier in the day, and I wore a mask at the gym. I felt like I needed to clear that up, because a lot of people are understandably angry. that I could've infected people at the gym.". - Mm. - Yeah, uh, 'cause initially I was like, you're the asshole for going to the gym when you're sick. But keeping that aside,

is he the asshole for canceling a date. and then going to the gym? - I think no. - Yeah? - I think no because. you're meeting this person for the first time, you wanna be on your best, you wanna be on your game. And like if I was feeling under the weather, I'd be like, well I could work out, but like talking and socializing with someone. is a whole different thing. And I don't wanna be kissing them if I'm sick. - Right, it's this new person, they're probably comfortable being a little under. the weather with their friend. - Yep. - And like, there is steps taken, and personally sometimes.

when I'm feeling a little under the weather, working out, - Yep. - It can boost your immune system. - Sweat it out, yep. - It can help, I feel like it helps me sometimes, so. I feel like she might've overreacted a little bit. - I think, yeah, the general gist of it all. I agree with that. The issue is that, "I sent her a Snap from my car.". - Yeah, why are you doing that? - "And she asked where I was going, "I told her I was going to the gym, and she called me a (beep).".

Yeah, so from her perspective... - Yeah. - From her perspective, he tells her, "I can't go, I'm feeling sick.". And then suddenly, a couple hours before their date. was supposed to happen, he sends her a Snap, she receives a photo of him in a car with a buddy, being like, "I'm going to the gym". - Yeah he should've been like, "I'm gonna go try to sweat it out," like. - Yes. - [Courtney] Yeah. - From his perspective, knowing all these details, we're like no, you're not the asshole, but from her perspective, absolutely. - From her perspective it's like,

(deep voice) "No, I'm gonna go hang with my bro's and lift.". - And it also should've been a conversation. It could've been like, "Oh, I thought you were sick.". - Yeah but to me, - "I'm sick but," yeah. - It still feels like they're not in a relationship, for me. - Correct. - I feel like that extensive communication. almost feels like OD, but with lack of context, I understand. where she's coming from. - I think this early on, when you haven't gone on the first date yet, I'm like, what level of an asshole can you be. for these types of things?

It's like different, you know, than when you're in a relationship. I less so feel that he's the asshole, and more that he's the idiot. (Courtney laughs). - 100% - Yeah, the Snap. - I'm like, you're stupid, you're stupid. - [Chanse] Hard agree. - Just don't message her. once you've already canceled, said you're sick. Stick to that. Don't message her, it's so easy. - Or he should've known when she said, "Where are you going?". oh she's probably upset because I canceled the date on her, and now I'm going to the gym. - Yeah. - Now explain why you're going to the gym. - Yeah, be like, "Oh, I'm feeling a little better,

so I'm gonna go to the gym really quick with my friend, and then go home and sleep.". - Yeah, she must've really liked him. - Yeah, 'cause she planned a night for this, She set aside a day, and now, he wasted her time-. - Yeah. - Is probably what she's thinking. - Yeah, there's a few times where he messed up. Because like for me, it would be nice to be like, "Oh, I'm actually feeling better, do you wanna hang out?". But also it might be disrespectful, like, flip-flopping plans on her.

- Totally. - Yeah. - You know? - Someone said, "You're the buttface. What part of your brain malfunctioned when you thought. sending her a Snap of you going to the gym?". - Right, right - (Courtney laughs). "I'd delete the hell out of you, too.". - (laughs) He's like this. (Chanse grunts). - I do get her, she's, I mean, look. Overreaction, all we know is she's just like, "you're a (beep)" and she just like. unmatched him on everything, right? - Yeah. - At the same time, when you haven't even gone on that first date... - Yeah. - If something happens where you're just like, you know what, I'm done, that is the move. - And we don't know what her past has been,

she could've been burnt before. - Yeah I love that for her. Maybe she didn't wanna waster her time and at 21? Slay. - Yeah. - Someone said, "You were too sick to go on a date, but not too sick to go to the gym, and you brag about it. to the person you just last-minute canceled on,". - Mm hmm. - Yeah. - "You're the buttface," yeah, that's my thoughts on it. - Don't post about it, you know. - Yeah, don't specifically message her about it. - You're right, you're right. - Yeah. - Okay, moving on. That was a buttface.

Whatever. - Buttface. - "Am I the buttface for getting a waitress fired. for messing up a date with a girl?". (both gasp). - I'm gonna say, I'm gonna g- (laughing). - You know, here we go. "So I'm single and currently on multiple dating apps, and casually dating multiple women. For the most part, I do my second dates with ladies. at this awesome restaurant, that I order takeout from, time to time. I love this place because the food is great and cheap,

and the drinks are cheap.". (huffs). "I've been doing this for a few months now, and I notice this particular waiter gives me weird look. whenever I walk in with a new girl. I didn't think much of it at the time. So, two Saturdays ago, I made reservations. at the restaurant with this girl that I actually liked. and that waiter I mentioned earlier attended to us. So she walks up to the table and says, "Here again, huh? "Ordering the same thing, this time?". "I was livid. I had told the girl the same line that I tell all of them. Looking to try this new spot, we should go- (laughs).

I had told the girl the same line that I tell all of them. (exhales). "Looking to try this new spot, we should go, heard good things.". "The date was very awkward from then on. It goes without saying, this girl I actually liked. and clicked with, ghosted me. So I'm really angry at this point, so last week I visited the owner. and explained the situation to him.". (Courtney laughs). "He profusely apologized and promised me he would handle it. I found out today that she was let go. I'm not remorseful at all, but I'm just wondering,

am I the buttface?". (both stutter and laugh). - Go. - You can go. - Oh! - No, you go. - Okay, first of all, don't take people to the same place. - Yeah you're gonna- - You need to be, I think you need to be in a relationship. when you start going to the same place. You don't take first dates, you find out what they like, what you both have in common, where should I take them now. based on what I've been talking to you about. Don't just funnel them into the same. machine of dates that you've.

created - It's weird. I do think that's weird. - Really weird. - It's super weird. I mean I was kind of like rooting for him at first, you're like, okay- - We were all-. - Is this waiter about to shame him about like. dating non-exclusively? And like if he has a favorite restaurant, that's okay. But, oh, but then saying, "it's cheap, it's easy, it's always the second date", it's like, you're like a very manipulative person, I feel. - And the other thing is, tell them it's place you like. - Yeah! - Say I really like this place.

it has cheap drinks, it has cheap food, I'd be like, oh, you know it, it's tried and true, let's go to it! Don't lie to her and say it's a new place. you're trying to try. Why would, what does that get you? - And him being like, "I lied to her that I said this.". (Shayne laughs). Like you do not value any of these women. that you're dating if you are like, "the line that I use.". And then, "explained the situation"? Huge red flag to me. I don't know what you told that owner, but I don't think it was true, because that is not something-. - To go out of your way to go there to talk to the owner.

to get someone fired, I just don't like. (Courtney gags). I'm like, that's not the response. - That's their living, yeah. - If anything, I would, I understand going there by myself. What I would do, if I was this guy and I was this asshole, (Courtney giggles). I would go there on my own, and I'd be like, "Can I sit in that section, please?". And I would sit there and the waitress would come by, I'd be like, "Listen, (Courtney laughs) Listen, I understand. I'm a douche, but like please, don't mess this up for me. Please, you can see I've got a system,

like please, just don't.". But this is the thing, the owner did fire this waitress for what she said. Now, owners fire people for stupid ass reasons all the time. But it's that he'd already told this woman, "looking to try this new spot,". - And told it to all the women. - He told it to all of them, he also, I wanna say something. We already know he's an asshole, but earlier on he did say, "I made reservations at this restaurant.

with this girl that I actually liked.". - Right. - Yeah. - And we know that he goes there a lot. - Goes there a lot. - Yeah. - It's not just like occasionally every other month, or every other few weeks. - [Courtney] No. - He's there like every week. - And he already set the stage of like this waitress. who gives me weird looks, like he's got an opinion, he already had an opinion of her. - The manager also did not have that waitress' back. You're a team. - Yeah. - You're working together, you should have her back, you should have, she should be able to, I don't know what the situation was, but she definitely shouldn't have been fired for. just what he said. - Yeah.

- Yeah, I don't think she should've been fired. - No, that's why I don't, when he says, "I explained the situation" - No, you didn't. - The way he worded that just gives me the ick. because I feel like he just. absolutely ripped her to shreds unfairly. - Yeah, 100%, 'cause he lied. He's embarrassed. - He's a liar! - He's got embarrassed that he lied and he got caught. - And you know what makes me laugh? - Yeah. - Is like, he's pretending this is his first time every time, so he's like, (Chanse laughs) (Courtney makes eating sounds). (in unison) Whoa! (everyone laughs). - "What is this?". Those are chicken tenders.

- Oh my gosh. - "Ah, it's crazy.". - "What is a potato?". - This is a Chili's. (laughs). - And also, I'm gonna say, it's a cheap food and cheap drinks place, so it's not this upper, high, fine dining. - It's BJ's. - Oh I thought you said beaches. - (laughing) Yeah. It is, but like you said, the easiest fix to this. is just being like, "Oh, there's this spot I love.". - Yes. - "Do you wanna go?". And that way the waitress says that and it's just like, yeah dude, I come here all the time. - Yeah, I feel like that's really sweet to me,

'cause it's like oh, you want me to be a part of something. that is like you're passionate about. I love that, even though it's just food. - But I think for me, it really comes down to like, if you lie you're gonna eventually get caught. - Yeah, and also like yeah, you're lying to all the women you're dating, you definitely lied to the store owner. - And like even anything that she would say. to make him feel comfortable, to make him feel like he has been there before, it would blow his cover. She'd be like, "Hi, how are you?". Like that already (snaps fingers). - He's mad he got caught. - He's mad he got caught. - So actually, yeah she didn't say anything wrong.

- And if he was thinking ahead, and maybe I'm wrong for this, but like, if he was cool to her, and he was a regular and he embraced that, that I feel like helps his game, - Boom, 100% - 'Cause all the waitstaff. is like, "Oh you're so sick, we love you.". - 100%. - And then it's like, oh you're cool to waitstaff, that's a huge green flag. (all agree). BOOM! - 100%, you're right. - All right, there's some comments here. - Okay. - "Once again, for the back row, if someone telling the truth about you. makes you look bad, it's not the truth-teller. who is the problem, it's your behavior.". Yeah, I agree with that.

- You're right. - "She's not going to think you're adventurous. for trying one new restaurant, bro". (all laugh). - Yeah, yeah. - "Oh this place is crazy, what do you think TGIF stands for?". (laughs). "You're the buttface, you're gross. for every single step of this. Stop being a liar, stop using women, and stop destroying people's livelihoods. because your pee-pee is sad". - (laughs) Whoa! - Yeah, I mean, I just think, the reaction. of getting someone fired for that is just so-. - 100%, she shouldn't have been fired.

- You only should fire-. I can't imagine - where's the write-up? - How long has she worked there too? We don't know. - It's crazy. - All right, here we go. "Am I the asshole for asking my "ex-boyfriend". to be my best man"? Ex-boyfriend is in quotations, so I don't know what that means. - Oh okay. - Um, (chuckles) "Near the end of the year, I'm a 27 year old male, going to be marrying. the love of my life, a 30 year old woman. We have been together for 4 years now, and since I popped the question, we've been busy planning.

One of the first things we decided, was our bridal party. We both already knew exactly who we were going to ask, and we had no issues with each other's choices, at least at the beginning. My fiance recently found out. that I used to date my best man, who's a 26 year old man, and is furious. I never told her he was my ex, and that I had not. only invited him, but also wanted him in the bridal party.". - Hmmm. - "The thing is, I never purposely hid the fact. that we used to date, from her. I just genuinely forgot.". - Ohh! - Mp Mp, no you didn't.

No you didn't. - "We had been friends for years, and we got on so well, we decided to give it a try, and it just wasn't meant to be. We were together for less than a month, and it wasn't really that different. from how we were being friends, except we made out. and had sex sometimes.". (all laugh). - (imitates redditor) "It was really, it was like, the same.". (Chanse and Courtney laugh). "I have to actively be reminded of it, as it's not something I think about. When I look at him, I don't see an ex,

I see my best friend of over 10 years. He was my friend for years before we dated, and years after. I don't think it classes him. as an ex, and I don't think it should mean. he's excluded from my wedding. But my fiance is adamant that it's disrespectful to her, that it's her wedding, so she should get a say. I don't wanna exclude him, but if I knew she would. react like this, I might have just invited him as a guest. So, am I the asshole?". "Edit to add, because I've had this question. pop up a few times. Me and my best friend were 16, 15, when we dated.

Okay, I think I caused some confusion. by using the word "forgot". (Courtney laughs) - Yeah, yeah. - "It's not like it completely left my mind, - Yeah - "Its just something. I don't think about, or crosses my mind, without being reminded about it. And when I was reminded about it, I didn't see it. as that significant. I now see that even if I didn't see it as significant, I should have still told my girlfriend. So yeah, like a handful of times a year, it would be brought up as a joke by friends, while I'm out with them, but that's really it.".

Um, okay... (chuckles). "I forgot". - "I forgot we had sex sometimes.". - No, but there's people in my life, that I have hooked up with, for like-. like we tried it for like a couple of weeks, and I don't think about them, like it was so long ago. - Same - that I don't think-. it doesn't even cross my mind! - For context it was - 20 years! - It was 10 years prior. - It was 10 years, - 10 years. but still a long time! - That's still a long time.

And they were in high school. Like yeah, that changes my perspective a little bit. I do think it's strange. that it wasn't brought up at any point. - It sounds like they were friends, so 15 or 16, and he's 27? - Yes. - So like, they literally, they were-. they started dating, very early on, like a couple of years into their friendship, and then, that's a lot of years after, that things have stayed, like kosher. - Right! - But, best man? I can understand why the bride to be.

would be like, "this guy that you hooked up with, that you, like, you're making your best man?". Like it might make them a little uncomfortable, without knowing every single detail. Like, I have a guy friend from high school, we were best friends, and we dated for a month, and it just didn't work - [Chanse] Yeah. - and we're both like on our own, in our own lives. Like, I would invite him to my wedding, but not, I mean, but obviously we're like close still, but, I just don't see that as, like, I don't know.

But 10 years of friendship is a long time. - Its a long time. - And it sounds like this is his best friend. - [Chanse] Yeah. - Like it's not like, oh that person that I dated. This is like his best friend. - But, less than a month? - The issue is that she didn't know about this at all. - Yeah, you know it's important to-. like when there are people in your life. that you had a history with, and you have a partner, your partner should know. - (grunts in agreement). - You know, they should have context. - Yeah.

- Um, so we have some comments here. - Okay. - "You're the asshole. You don't "forget". about a romantic relationship. with your best friend of 10 years. If it was a one-night-stand with a stranger, sure, I can see that slipping the mind. Your fiance isn't buying your excuse, and neither are we.". Someone else said: "You're the asshole for not disclosing. that you have a romantic history with your best friend. Had you been honest from the get go, this likely would not have been a problem. From her perspective, you've lied by omission. for years, and she's finding out. only shortly before your wedding.". Uh, someone else said-. - I just wanna say, there's 10 years.

of memories in between that. 10 years of things that-. fights, exes, other things. - Other relationships - Other relationships. other friendships. 10 years, that's so long! - Yeah. - Last person said: "Still, the fact that you never thought to tell her. until now, is probably shady to her.". - Yeah. - "Why keep it a secret, if it isn't a big deal?". - [Courtney] Yeah. - OP responded, "It genuinely just never crossed my mind. It's never come up while she's been around. The most it's brought up is as joke. between me and my best friend when we are alone,

and I forgot about it by the time I get home. I never meant to keep it a secret from her, but I still should have set a reminder. when it came up with my friend, to tell her. I admit I (beeped) up here.". - Set a reminder... - It's weird that it's a joke, I think it's weird that it's a joke. between the two of them - [Courtney] Yeah. - that they talk about, a little bit. - Because it sounds like it was experimentation. - So 'cause yeah, look at the time span. They've been friends for 10 years. So they were friends around 6 years. when he started dating his fiance.

So, it's not quite as long of history, but like, I think it's really weird. Like friends know, they're joking about it, and so, I think it's really weird. that it "Slipped his mind" to tell her. That he needed to "Set a reminder" to tell her, next time a joke about it happened. - Also, how did she figure it out? He told her? - Um... Uh, let's see.

He just says, "My fiance recently found out-. - "Recently found out"-. - [Shayne] "that I used to date my best friend-. - That sounds like he didn't tell her. - [Shayne] and is furious.". I guess, is another element here, that, early on in their dating, 'cause they've been dating. for 4 years, so he was 23 when he started dating her, is there an element of maybe he was afraid. to tell her that he- - Of course! - Yeah. - [Chanse] Of course! - And so after a couple of years, then it's like, oh- - yeah, so you think. he's in denial? - No, I don't think he's in denial, I think early on in the relationship. he was afraid to be like, "Oh and by the way, I hooked up with, like, I dated my best friend.".

In the comments, OP identifies as bisexual, and she has always known that. - Oh! - from the start. So, so never mind. Like I didn't know if maybe he was. - So, oh, okay - hiding that, but no, no, so she knew. That's tough. Yeah, I don't know what they do at this point. - No updates? - No updates. - Yeah, I think you just disclose all past relationships, especially if those people are still in your life. - Mhm. - Especially if you're gonna marry that person.

I mean, I feel very strongly that, if you guys are willing to be married to each other, all these kinds of conversations. need to already have already been had. - Yeah. - Just, like, you guys need to already have had. those conversations. - Yeah. Anything that should have been under contention, yeah. - I agree, yeah. - But friendship is, you know, yeah. - That's tough. That's really tough. Uh, all right, we're moving one. - Ball right! - This is a 27 year old man, dating a 24 year old woman, that still sleeps with her ex.

Uh, okay, this comes from r/relationship_advice: "I'm dating a girl, and we have had sex multiple times. We have been dating for 1 month now, and a few days ago. she said she wants to try dating without sex, just so she can see how the chemistry is between us. And I complied; she seems like an honest gal. She wants to meet other people, and that's normal. So yesterday, I was Facetiming her, and found out. that she still sees her ex and has sex with him. I don't know how many times,

because I just didn't care to ask. I also don't have any feelings for her. because of the length of the relationship. But this got me thinking afterwards, maybe I'm a rebound? They broke up 9 months ago, and she told me. she had sex with 10 guys during this period, including me. I mean, this is a red flag right? I don't want to be her rebound or her safety net, or her emotional tampon. I was thinking maybe I should just ghost her, and meet a new gal?". Um... - Huh! - HUH!

- It was like a- - [Chanse] Right. - There was one thing he said - [Chanse] Right. - that like, dipped the toe into weird. - One, two punch - and then just a dive. (laugh). - Yeah, that's the end of the story. - [Chanse] What? - I have an opinion... - [Chanse] Okay. - [Shayne] Yeah. - It seems weird-. Okay, so, if-. I am exploring the reality that he's saying some weird shit, but she might be being dishonest, where, she's dating this guy, she's sleeping with her ex, doesn't wanna have sex with this current guy, to "See if the emotions are there.".

Maybe she's sleeping with her ex still, and he's like, "Don't have sex with other people.". I don't know, my brain went down a weird path. But also, did you hear him say, "I don't have feelings for her"? - Yeah I heard that. - Yeah, that's weird. - After one month in. And the other thing is, he's 37 and she's 24... - No they're 27- - 27 and 24. - 27 and 24! - [Shayne] Yeah that's huge. - I was like, uhhh? - I do think, look, if you're dating someone for a month, and they're like, "Oh I'm still sleeping with my ex", it's like, this probably is not like-.

- No - Yeah. - gonna go anywhere. But you have to accept that. So it sounds like, if he doesn't want to be a rebound, he doesn't want to be just a side thing, then yeah, he should move one. (Courtney laughs). - Right, like- - [Chanse] 100%. - I mean, yeah, it sounds like, you are exactly what you. think you are - It's been a month. it's not even worth a Reddit post dude. - You don't have feelings for her, what are you- - [Shayne] Just move on. - and you're not having sex with her, so? - Don't make Reddit. your emotional tampon. - Uh, some comments here:

"She wants her ex's (beep), and you for the boyfriend stuff, those red flags aren't a circus dude. - Oh God, I hate Reddit so much (laughs). - Awful! (background people laugh). - Oh God, this is how they talk to each other on there. - I wish I could like, "Scooby Doo" these people. You know what I mean? - Like take the mask off? - Take the mask off! (all laugh). You are not anonymous anymore, bitch! - Someone said, "You're in a friends with benefits. relationship, without the benefits. You're just a friend, but one that has to treat her.

like a girlfriend.". Okay, we don't know the details of like. what they are doing. We just know that like they're. going on dates - Also, he agreed to this. - Right. I mean, those comments are-. I mean, look. - It sounds very complicated, and not worth anybody's time, after a month of dating. - I think ultimately, the answer is like, yeah, don't go to Reddit, just leave. - [Chanse] Yeah. - We have some updates here. (Chanse and Courtney chant "Update" in funny voices).

(all laugh). - What? One of you throws up. (both laugh). "I'm just gonna end this. Just gonna tell her this was not. what I had in mind when we met. Good luck. I was never really into her anyways, and I'm already talking to another chick". - Liar. - "I've used rubber, but I'm gonna check myself. before I'm meeting someone new, just to be safe". - What the hell? You should do that anyway my guy! - Sure, sure, sure. - "She just said she does not have any feelings. for her ex, blah, blah, blah. I replied with, "If you have sex with your ex, then there is a spark between you two.

That's fine by me, but that's a red flag for me, and I have to back away, good luck". And then the last update: "Got a lot of messages asking for another update, so here it is: This gal called me, and was very upset, saying she still. liked me, and did not want to end things between us. She said she really is over her ex, and she will stop. having any form of contact with him. I said it does not matter, I'm just not going to risk it. I have to prioritize myself first, and I can't risk. going any deeper into this situationship. Thank you for all your answers.". - Oh God. Like, okay, I think he's like kinda.

self-soothing with like "I didn't even like her anyways, and I'm talking to somebody else.". - Uh huh. But I think it's almost like, an everyone sucks here, situation, because she's like-. she's doing what she did to her ex, by saying "Wait, no, please.". So, she needs to go work on herself too. Like, they both, they are both floating in space, and they just bumped into each other a couple of times. They need to keep floating in space. - Yeah. Yeah, no, it's like-.

It does not need all of this complication. - No, and Reddit, dude (laughs). did not need to get involved. - Also, I don't like the verbage he used. - Yeah, that's a lot of weird verbage. - [Shayne] someone commented, - Yeah. - Someone commented, "I was going to say, you seem like a cool dude, and should just gracefully leave, but then that ridiculous edit: "I didn't like her anyways, and I'm already (beep) someone new". For (beep) sake you're 27 not 17, act accordingly.". - Wooh! - Yeah, I agree with that. - (imitates pistol sounds). - That's a whole lot. Its just a whole lot going on, all right.

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- Let's ride. - I'm okay. - Great, all right. "How I got back at a pushy guy on a bad first date". This comes from r/petty_revenge. - (Courtney exhales) - I don't like pettiness. I'm gonna tell you right now. - You don't like pettiness? - No - Right now,

I don't like it. - Well you're about to witness it. - I think so. - "When I was 18 years old, 10 years ago, I was doing the online dating thing. I live in the US, and I'm about 15 minutes. from the Canadian border. My date and I went to Canada together on a first date, because I couldn't drink in the US, but could in Canada, and we wanted to go to a bar/casino. He picked me up in his little sports car, and we rode together through the border crossing, and to the casino. We played some games and had some drinks, and we were having a decent time. I got to a point where I was decently drunk,

and knew if I had any more alcohol, I would be out of commission. I told my date I was done drinking, and wanted to start heading home. Instead of listening to me, he went and got us both. another round of drinks, and he handed me a big. Long island Iced Tea." - Oh! - "I told him point blank, I couldn't drink it. because I was at my limit. He didn't take too kindly to that and got pushy. He told me, "You have to drink it, I brought it for you". - Uh! - [Shayne] "If you don't drink it, you're gonna make me waste money". - Oh! - "No matter how many times I told him "No", he continued to push me on this. I got very frustrated, and upset, because I was alone.

with this pushy man, in another Country, and I was very upset with myself. for getting into this situation.". - (exhales). - "We argued for a while, and eventually I snapped. and formulated a little plan. He agreed to take me home after I finished the drink. I took the drink from him and chugged it. We got into his car and started for the border. - Also, hell yeah! (Courtney laughs). She said, "I took the drink and I chugged it!". (all laugh). - "It's important to note, that this guy. was very proud of his car. He spent the whole drive to the border, telling me about all the features and how much he loved it. I spent the whole drive ignoring him,

and focusing on keeping my sick stomach under control. My goal was to make it through the border crossing. at least, which was proving pretty difficult. We did eventually make it through the border crossing, and as soon as we made it back to the US, I turned in my seat to look him in the eyes, and told him, "I didn't appreciate how you forced. alcohol down my throat, after I repeatedly told you No. I know my limits, and you ignored and disrespected me. I said I couldn't drink more for a reason". "Then, while maintaining - Yes! - direct eye contact - Yes! with him, I started vomiting in his car".

- Oh! - "I knew this was coming, and specifically. oriented myself to cause as much damage as possible.". - Oh! - "I threw up on the seat, the floor, the dash, et cetera. He was freaking out ( Courtney laughs). and I just started crying, and telling him, this was his fault, and he could either take me home, or let me out of the car now, but I will call the police. if he doesn't proceed with one of the two options. He dropped me off at home, and I never saw him again.". Whoa! - [Courtney] Whoa! - I love it. - She pulled an "Exorcist". - I said I didn't like petty, I like petty.

- Oh my God! - That's not petty. You did this, - [Shayne] Yeah. - now, this is the consequences of your actions. "My stomach cannot take this, I know my own limits, this is what's happening.". - That's crazy - [Chanse] Crazy! - to make eye contact. (all laugh). - That's incredible. At 18? - [Shayne] Yeah! - Wait, I wanna do it. (imitates gagging). - Dude, I hope- - You did this (gags). - I hope her bravery, has gotten her really far in life,

because, first of all, if that was my daughter, that is so dangerous, to go on a first date. with someone from a dating app, to another Country, - Yeah - to a casino. - 100% - to drink where you're, you're typically in your own home, underage... Like, she... So many things could have gone wrong. - Yep. - And that guy was driving, in control of the situation, - Yep. - agree to take the drink? I'm like wow, she has the biggest balls I bet.

Like, the fact that she drank that, and was like- - and chugged it. - "I'm gonna (beep) get this guy". - Yep. - Yeah. - And, screw him. - And it sounds like. it wasn't just like, "No, I don't want it", "You have to drink it", "No I don't want it". It sounds like it was like, continuous. - Ugh! - like, I really can't. drink this dude. - And who knows what his. plans were, had she not done that? - Yeah. - That's what I'm saying, like. could've gone very wrong. I hope she's good and safe, and happy, but like, Oh my God! - Some comments here: "That guy tried to play a bad drinking game, and he lost.".

(snaps). - Someone else said, "I'm laughing, wondering. how coherent your statement actually came out.". (all laugh). - That's good. - (imitates drunken mumbling). (all laugh). - OP responded to that, saying, "Lord knows, it probably came out more like, "You disrespect me, BAHHH" (all laugh). "I like to think he got the message regardless". "Eye contact while vomiting, is a Grade A power move. I don't think I've ever kept my eyes open while puking.".

Yeah, she's an X-Man. - Yeah, yeah, she is an X-Man. - She's awesome! She's kind of kick-ass - Yeah. - Like, just vomit pooling around. at every turn - He has to drive. all the way home with all that vomit. - Yeah, Oh my God! - [Courtney] That's wild! - He's probably. terrified of her! - Yeah, I have to drop her off home. - He's probably like, 'If this is her revenge for this, (all laugh) I gotta be so nice now'. - And I hope he never did that again. - That's true, that's true. So you mentioned like at 18, she was like this. - Mhm. - OP said, "I was very self-destructive. when I was a teenager, and I regularly put myself.

in dangerous situations. I had a lot of trauma and issues, but now, as an adult, I feel I've worked through them, and act much more responsibly. I definitely look back at this story and cringe. at how stupid I was, to get in that situation. in the first place." - Aw! - [Shayne] Yeah, I mean, you're 18. - 18, yeah, oh my gosh, the things I did. Like, I've done very similar to that before. - I was a good Christian boy at 18. (Shayne and Courtney laugh). - Okay, moving on. "Am I the asshole for telling a friend, I did not want her to join my date and I for dinner?".

Uh okay, this is a 26 year old woman: "I have a friend, a 25 year old woman, who I met in college, and although losing touch for a bit after college, I moved to the same town as her, 6 months ago, for work, and we've hung out quite a bit since then. I have kind of integrated into her friend group, 5 other girls, not including us, although I'm not as close with them, as they are with each other, which makes sense, seeing as how they've known each other a bit longer. I was recently on a first date with a woman.

that I've like for a bit, a 27 year old woman. We were having coffee at a cafe, and all of a sudden. my friend walks up to us to say "hi". Not a big deal, I know she comes here a lot, and I introduced them. My friend is super nice to my date. At this point, I hadn't told my friend this was a date. She knows I've dated women in the past, but I wasn't expecting her to realize this was a date, because it could very well have just been a friend. Then she asked if she can join us, and starts to pull up a chair. My date is visibly thrown off by this, as am I, and so I say, "Oh, I'm sorry, but (date's name) and I.

are on a date right now, I'll see you later though". My friend says, "Oh, I don't mind", and sits.". - (screams) - What the hell? - "I reiterate more clearly, "I'd love to hang out. another time, but right now I'd like for it to just be. (date's name) and I. She says "Okay" and leaves. I thought it was the end of it, not a big deal at all. I don't expect her to automatically know. who I am or am not on a date with. I get a call from a different girl in the friend group. that night, who told me that my friend called her, and was pissed off about it earlier.

So I immediately called my friend. and asked if we could talk. She says it was rude of me to brush her off. It wouldn't have been a big deal to join us, and her other gay friend lets her hang out with him. and his boyfriend all the time. This friend is not a part of the friend group, I have never met him. This gets to me a little, because I feel like. the two situations are only being compared. because her friend and I are both not straight. I tell her that because it was a date, it's different, and that she can't expect to join me on a first date. She keeps arguing, and finally I get fed up and snap at her:

"Be (beep) honest, if I was on a date with a guy, you would've taken no for an answer and not had a problem", and then hang up. She has not talked to me since then, but she told the entire friend group, and they are now split. I know this because the friend who first told me. that she was pissed off, as well as one other girl. messaged me individually, to let me know. what was going on, and that they're. sorry about what happened. The messages from the people on my friend's, maybe former friend; I don't know, side, are making me second guess myself. I do get that I snapped at her on the phone.

and was rude at the end of our conversation. I don't think I'm wrong for not wanting her to join us, but am I the asshole for the way I behaved. at the end of our convo?". Um... - Hmm... - I'm just kind of... - Flabbergasted. - I'm a little flabbergasted by like, "Oh you're on a date, oh don't worry about it, I'm cool". - Yeah, what? - Aye! - And then to be angry, when someone is like, "No you can't join us.". - [Shayne] Yeah! - It was a first date too! - It honestly doesn't matter, you should be able-.

like if we were going to coffee, I should be able to be like. "We actually are, it's just us two". - Yeah, "I'm catching up with a friend right now". - [Courtney] Yeah! - We're doing our own thing. - I just would never-. I'm flabbergasted by this friends psyche in general, 'cause I would never. If I bump into two people hanging out, I'm not immediately like, "Hey can I join you?". Unless, they invite me to join them, - [Chanse] 100% - I'm like, "Oh, I stumbled upon you guys doing a thing". - [Chanse] Yep! - Yeah, it's fascinating.

- Yeah, and it's difficult too, because like, there might be some truth to like a dynamic shift, if she were on a date with a man. But like, as soon as you bring up like levels, or like tones of homophobia in a friend group, that will like, fully rip things to shreds. - Fight or flight - and like, whether. that person felt that way or not, that friend is gonna be like, "Oh my God, I can't believe you're accusing me of that". But, it that's what she felt, you know, it's just tough.

It's tough when it gets-. that's when it gets real. That's when it gets real serious. - Yeah, I have never felt minimized. I feel like people are very much like, come up to it, leave it. Like no ones ever like, "Can I join?". Or like, "This isn't anything", it's like, "Oh no, I'm gonna give you your space". - Yeah, if the word 'date' is used, I'm like (gasps) - Boom (snaps). - "You got it, I'm out of here!". - I'd disappear like a cloud of smoke. - Yeah, straight up. - And sometimes I'll kind of-. if I'm the person approaching, and then. I figure out they're on a date,

I can figure out from my friend, how long they want me to be there. I wouldn't be like - Mhm. - I definitely wouldn't pull up a chair. Unless the friend was like "Pull up", I would NEVER, EVER pull up a chair, unless the friend was like "Pull up a chair", and that means to me, 'I want you to either. vibe-check this person with me for a minute', or, 'I need help from this date'. - Right, right - "Help me from this date". - Literally. - But no, never-. - Yeah, I feel like, just any dynamic, any date, it sucks that the conversation got to a really tough place,

- [Chanse] Yeah. - like a really serious place, but. I do feel like, the person who tried to join the date. is just, I think just a little bit unaware. 'Cause like you can't - Yeah. - Like, then what does that mean? - Yeah. - "Not the asshole. You're on a date and politely told her. that she couldn't join you. No reasonable adult would expect to intrude. on a first date, and get offended. when they were asked to leave. If she had a problem, it was entirely in her own head.".

Someone else said, "Corporate Life Lesson 101: A single person does not join a two-person conversation. without a clear invite. This applies to business conferences, cocktail parties, and (beep) dates! Not the asshole." - [Courtney] laughs. - Uh, yeah. - [Courtney] Yeah. - It's literally so mind-blowing to me. There is an update. - (shocked gasp) - Ouh Ouh! - "Okay, so the two girls who reached out to me, and sided with me, just let me know, that in the last few hours, she's been saying stuff. that pretty heavily implies that I'm not actually bisexual,

and I'm just straight." - WOAH! - "I guess that explains a lot of it. They obviously were not okay with it, as one of the girls is bisexual, and has a boyfriend.". - EW! - "They both left the group chat, and still want to be friends with me.". - Aw! - "The other people in our group chat, have said nothing to me, and honestly, I don't need the drama.". - Silence says a lot. - "It sucks to realize, a friend of mine felt this way. about me for years, but I'm glad. I at least know what was up now.". Uh, and OP in the comments says: "To be fair, I don't really blame her.

for the first part of the story. It's totally fine to be oblivious, and I can also be. super oblivious about stuff, but I'm glad to see. the general consensus is that I wasn't wrong about her. not being pissed about this, had I been on a date with a guy. Thank you for the response, I appreciate it, and everyone's comments are making me feel. a little bit more confident in my actions.". Yeah, that's- - What an update! - That's crazy. That really turned that woman into a weird person, into an absolute asshole. - Yeah, I didn't want to assume the worst, but wow, - But now-.

- that is so gross, and kind of been a fear of mine. personally, as someone who's queer, like-. I have a paranoia that people around me, my peers, my friends, or people that I love, like, might be like, "She's straight". Because I don't have a lot of experience in dating women. or feminine people, so like, you don't want to think that that's real, and that sucks! - Yeah. - Also, just gonna go back; this person literally said, "Mind if I join?". - Yeah, what? - Asking!

You asked, and she said no! It's dehumanizing too, knowing that context, of like, you are doubting this persons sexuality, not even your business, and so what? You wanted to watch this display for yourself, and see if it was legitimate? That's, now I'm getting-. now I'm taking it personally. As you can tell. - Right. - But yeah, that sucks, I'm sorry. I'm glad that those friends came to her support too. - Right! Because the friends. that are not saying anything, are saying a lot. - Yup, 100%. - Yeah... Okay, here we go.

This is on r/dating_advice. "Don't think she realizes we've dated before.". - (gasps) - Huh, say it again? - "Don't think she realizes we've dated before.". - (gasps) Oh no! - That's rough. - I've had these people, - Really? - already, I'll say this. Oh yeah! - Oh goodness. - [Shayne] Okay. "I've been on Hinge for 6 months, and seen a couple of people, but nothing has happened for a while. This week, I, a 28 year-old man, noticed a girl.

I've dated before, about 4 years ago, a 25 year old woman, as new here, and thought 'No, she won't match me back', but lo and behold, she did, and we've really hit it off. We messaged for a couple of days, before she sent me her number, to message. We've been up late at night, between work, texting, and last night she even called me for an hour. and we had a good laugh. But I'm not sure if she realizes we dated before. She blocked me on Facebook and Instagram. when we stopped seeing each other, because we fell out. Our personalities didn't gel, and she hated the fact. that I went out every weekend.

But we've bonded more in the last few days. than we ever did before, and I only go for a quiet drink. every now and again now. The other night, she mentioned doing something on Facebook, but didn't ask me if I had Facebook myself, and sent me something off TikTok, which we had a laugh about. I know not everyone has social media these days, but a few days in, you'd think she'd have had. a bit of a stalk, or asked around social media.". - Right. - Mhm. - "She suggested we go on a date next Friday. because that's the soonest date she's free. around work, uni, and pre-arranged plans,

so I'm wondering how and when. do I drop the bomb, we've dated before? But I've also gotta keep her interest for another 8 days, although that seems less concerning right now. I genuinely feel like we could work this time. Now we're both older and more mature, but I'm worried she'll spook. Or maybe she does know, but is also. hesitant to bring it up.". - Hm. - How can she not know? - Yeah, like, she has to go and be like, 'Oh I have him blocked on Instagram.'. - (Courtney laughs) - Yeah! - Yeah, I would definitely, early on,

in the messaging on the app, I'd be like, "Wait, you don't remember me?". Like, "Hey, we dated." - And the way you sell it, the way you play it is like, "You know we've dated before right? You remember that.". - Yeah! - "You really don't remember-. are you seri-. okay, I couldn't tell if you remembered. or if you didn't remember - [Courtney] Yeah! - it's so... that's crazy to me. Because I remember, and I thought you were. just like keeping-. I thought we were just not gonna talk about it.". - Yeah, and you're thinking he could call her. - Oh it's a phone call, it's a phone call. - I think it's weird that he was like:

"I've gotta keep her interest for 8 more days.". - [Chanse] That's weird. - [Shayne] Weird. - That-. if you're gonna try and wait until you see her in person, that feels a little manipulative. - I kind of like it. - Just a manipulative tone. Yeah. [Shayne giggles]. - But I think for me, like, if I was on her end, and they called and were like. "Hey, I'm excited for our date, but I just wanna check, like, you know we've dated before right?". I'd be like, "What?". And he'd be like, "Yeah, we were different people, I used to go out every weekend...". And I would've been like, "Oh, this is great!". So it's like, there's also a possibility.

that we have a chemistry that can work. - [Chanse] Right. - And that would make me even more comfortable, even more like, ready to go on a date again. - One of the comments here: "You should have brought it up on that first phone call. Now it seems weird that you didn't. I think you should bring it up now. Your best bet is to play it off. like you didn't realize at first, that you dated before either. Act like you just figured it out: "You know, this is funny, but I just realized, we actually went out before, about 4 years ago.". And just see how she reacts. Yeah, maybe she knows it too, and won't spook, but if she does, it's better to find out now,

so you won't waste anymore of your time.". That's kind of how I feel. Like, these 8 days of keeping her interest. might be a waste. OP responded: "The first message I sent on Hinge started with: "I hope you've been keeping well", on purpose, but I'm not sure if she caught on.". He also said, "I also look and sound no different. to how I did then, and have really distinctive, brightly colored tattoos in my photos, which I had back then, so I don't know. how she couldn't - Right! possibly know.

And someone said, "Wow, that's one way to break the ice, good luck buddy.". Yeah, it is shocking that she's not-. I think she knows. - But we don't know that she doesn't know. - Right! - We don't know that she doesn't know... - But there is an update! - Oh! - Ouh! (in unison) From three hours ago?! - It's fresh! - As of filming this? - You had already picked this? - It's still warm! - "I think my update comment got lost in a sea of replies, but we texted till late again, and before we went to bed, I asked if I could call her, but made a point,

it wasn't because I planned on being clingy. and making a habit of it. I came clean, and she wasn't bothered at all, just said she thought she'd seen me in passing. on a night out. I explained what went wrong, and we addressed. why things should work out better this time, - Aww! (happy clapping). - and she seemed to agree. She even joked, "Could this not have been something. that could've been said over text?". To make light of the situation, and then the quick. phone call turned into an hour again. - Oh yeah! - [Shayne] Oh that's nice. That's nice - I knew it!

- Did I hear, open and honest communication? (Courtney giggles). Did I hear, radical honesty? - Finally! - I love it, I love it! It makes me feel more comfortable, when I know that I know you. - Yep! - Right. - So Chanse, you said you've experienced this? Did you say that? - Yeah I have experienced this. - Oh God, yeah. - With people who are like-. and I was on the other end of it, I didn't remember... And it was like, yeah we-. less dating, but it was like, 'yeah we've slept together, we've gone home together'. And like, oh! (Courtney giggles). (loud laughter). - 'Yeah we did, and how was that?'.

(all laugh). - Uh...cool! - I'm not weirded out by it, they're like yeah, I knew, and I wasn't weirded out by it, and I'm like, "oh, okay great, now we're here, we're here now." - [Courtney] Mhm. - Mhm. - I'm a different person, you're a different person, we've learned, we've grown. (Courtney chuckles). - I love it. - Funny. All right. - I did have one (laughs). (Shayne laughs). I had one guy that I had slept with, and then I started dating this other guy-.

messy-. I started dating this other guy, and then the guy I'm dating, brings this guy around, and he's like, "This is my friend.". And I don't remember that I've slept with his friend. But his friend knows apparently. And then the guy I'm dating starts cheating on me. with the guy that I've slept with. - Oh! - And then, they go off together, and I'm like, "Who the (bleep) is this guy?". So I look him up, and then I'm like, 'Oh I remember these pictures, I've slept with you actually'. - Oh no! - Wow!

- Triangle? - There you go! - [Courtney] Aw! - So, I lost. Actually they just broke up a couple of weeks ago. (in unison) Oh! - Here we go, last story: "If someone had told me, that downloading Tinder. would lead to me drawing a man a bath, and checking him for a hernia, I would've laughed.". - What? Read that again. (Courtney giggles). - "If someone had told me that downloading Tinder. would lead to me drawing a man a bath, and checking him for a hernia, I would've laughed.". This comes from r/dating. - Okay. - Is this Benjamin Button?

(everyone laughs). - (silly voice) Benjamin Button. - [Shayne] "Weirdest date ever...". (Courtney and Chanse crack up). - What? - Sorry, I just said Benjamin Button really quick. - Benjamin Button. Is it Benjamin Button? - "Weirdest date ever, that's all I can say. Not a first date, but still weird. He, 44 year old man, invited me, a 31 year old woman, to meet him at a coffee shop, because we both had work we needed to do. After a few hours, we stand up to leave, and he mentions that he injured himself earlier in the day. Wouldn't you know, he can't stand up,

and he can barely walk. Now, I'm not a petite woman, I'm 5'8, I work out, I can help. It's not like he's 'The Mountain' or anything, and he's built like a little jackrabbit. So I help him-" (Courtney laughs). - "'The Mountain' or anything, and he's built. like a little jackrabbit, so I help him up. and help him to his car, but he's still struggling. I offered to make him dinner if he wanted to come over, because I had been marinating some chicken anyway. He accepts, and we head back to my house. It's worth saying that I have a 3-floor townhouse. with lots of steps.

It's also worth saying that I have a tendency to be clumsy. and so I have all sorts of ace bandages, crutches, et cetera, in my house. I set him up on the couch, bring him water, and a heating pad, a pillow to hold him. for sneezing, coughing; crutches to help him stand. without using whatever was injured, and start cooking dinner. Eventually he chimes in with: "I promise. I'm not trying to show you my (beep), but can you look at this?". - What the (beep)? - "Wouldn't you know, there's a weird bump near his groin. So now, what was a pulled muscle,

might actually be a hernia. I offered to take him somewhere, but he refuses. Instead, he asked to wrap a compression wrap. around the bump." - What? - "Eventually, I asked him if a warm bath. would make him feel better, and he says that it might. Trouble is, he can't really go from sitting to standing. all too well, so I drew him a bath, and sat there, the whole time. I jokingly throw in a colorful, sparkling bath bomb. (Courtney giggles). and bring him a glass of wine. because of the sheer absurdity of the situation. I'm sitting here, bathing a grown man, one I met off Tinder, I felt his groin for a hernia,

I compression wrapped said groin. This man has absolutely tested the limits. of my domesticity, - Yeah! - and I actually didn't mind. We've been seeing one another since December, and I'm kind of in love with him.". - (gasps) - Whoa! - Edit: " He got checked out. The lump was from the swelling of a torn muscle, still not good, but not as bad as a hernia.". Okay, so it wasn't a hernia, thank God. I don't know what to say about that one.

- What in the world? - At least she found love, yeah! - She did the most. - She found love in a broken ass. - ♪ She found love ♪. - Someone commented: "I already have Tinder, and now I just need to lift the heaviest of weights. without proper form, and I'll be on my way to find a wife.". Someone else said, "Awesome story, I hope you two kids. make it to the finish line.". OP responded, "That would be nice if we did, but either way, he's already enriched my life, and I'm thankful. - for whatever time we have together.". Wow, that's so sweet! - [Courtney] That's really funny. - Now who's the asshole?

- Was one of them the asshole? Someone else said, "If he doesn't wife you, I will rage.". - (chuckles) She really did the most. - Yeah. - And then more! - Yeah. - She drew him-. She was like (funny voice) "shall I draw you a bath?". - Yeah, that's who you wanna get old with right there. - Yeah, glitter perhaps? - This post was from last year... And in a more recent post, OP responded, "I used Tinder, and met my partner of 2 years.". So they're still together. (in unison) Aw! (giggles).

- A guy I met off Tinder one time, we were talking and he asked me to cut his hair, cause I cut hair, and I was like-. this was the first date, first date he asked me to cut his hair. So I go over and I cut his hair. It was really weird. And then I was like, "Okay, you gotta clean up the hair, cause I don't wanna clean up your (beep) hair.". And I was like, "Just don't flush it down the toilet, cause it'll clog.". - Yeah. - This bitch flushed it down the toilet, so now he's got- (Courtney grunts). and he was like shouting from the bathroom, he was like, "Um, I clogged the toilet.". And I was like, "Bro, I literally told you,

not to put it down the toilet.". - [Shayne] That's so funny. - He didn't listen. - That's the red flag. - [Courtney] Oh God! - And then I had my friend call me and be like, "Can you please come pick me up?". (Shayne laughs). - "Yeah, I'm coming.". "I'm so sorry, I gotta go.". - (laughs) "I gotta go.". Well these have been all over the place. But we ended on a sweet note, so that's nice. Thank you both for being here. - Thanks for having us! - Of course! (all giggle). - (funny voice) Benjamin Button...

Who's driving this bus? (all laugh). - And thank you all for watching. As always, let us know in the comments. what types of themes or subreddits you want us to cover. And let us know your thoughts on these stories. And we'll see you later. Bye! (all laugh).