Did They Really Post That? w/ Mari Takahashi | Reading Reddit Stories
- Hello and welcome to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.". I'm Shayne. And today's episode is a classic Am I the Asshole episode. And I'm joined by two good friends. I'm joined by Spencer and a Smosh legend, Mari Takahashi's here. (crew cheers). - Hi. - Full name. - Yeah, the whole name. - The OG host of this channel. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Well, yeah, I guess so. - "Smosh Pit Weekly.". - I was holding down the fort. Not knowing what I was doing at all. - But doing it all. Editing everything, right?
You're doing the whole shebang. - It's one of those, you just throw yourself into something. and then you never know. - Yeah, no, we were looking at, 'cause I know social team wanted to do something with you. that was like a throwback, and we were looking at all the old titles. - Don't look at them. - Anytime you're in anything, they're like, "Asian lunch.". (Shayne laughs). It's just like, it's just Mari does anything, like, "Asian blank.". (everyone laughs). That was the, yeah. - That was the time. - Yeah. - And also not wrong either. - It's like technically-. - Right.
- It's like "Asian Reddit Stories.". - That is the description of what's happening. in the video. - Have we done. one of those yet? - Write that down. - Asian Reddit Stories. (everyone laughs). - [Shayne] Oh my god. - It's 2010 all over again. - Yeah. Yeah. (everyone laughs). Well, we're happy to have you back. - Thanks for having me. It's fun because it just feels like you're plopped back. and you don't know what year it is, but I don't know. The comfort of being around y'all never goes away.
Yeah. - Agreed. - [Mari] Yeah. - Well, are you ready to read some stories? (Mari laughs). - Oh yeah, you have to read them. - No, you have to read. I'm taking a break. No, I'm just kidding. - One of these days, Shayne like drops the iPad and it's just blank. It's been blank on there the whole time. - I'm making all of it up. That would be awesome. - That would be amazing. - Really cool. Our first one is an Am I the Asshole, posted October of 2025. "Am I the asshole for replacing pictures of my cousins. "with pictures of my dog?".
- We'll have to find out. - More context needed. - "My grandpa's birthday was a couple weeks ago. "Six weeks before his birthday, "I texted all of my siblings and cousins, "there's nine of us, "and told them to send me a picture of themselves. "within the next four weeks. "so I could put it on a phone case. "for our grandpa's birthday. "Two weeks later, I sent the text again. "saying I needed a picture of them. "and anybody that chooses not to send a picture. "will be replaced by a picture of my dog. "I had three cousins tell me. "to screenshot something from their Instagrams.
"I didn't respond. "I sent a text out the day before I put in the order. "saying anybody that did not send a picture of themselves. "in the next 24 hours would be replaced. "by pictures of my dog.". - This is your second warning. (everyone laughs). - Second warning. "The same three cousins never sent pictures. "Their spots have my dog in a sombrero, "my dog at the pumpkin patch, "and my dog in a chicken costume. "They came over for my grandpa's birthday. "and saw him open his new phone case. "They saw that their pictures weren't on the case. "and got mad at me for not picking something.
"off their Instagrams like they told me to. "I said that I sent three reminders to send me a picture. "with a clear warning that anybody. "that did not send a picture would be replaced. "with a picture of the dog. "They knew exactly what would happen. "My grandpa finds it hilarious, but their-". (everyone laughs). - Oh, thank God. - "But their parents are telling my parents. "that I kept them off the phone case on purpose, "and they want me to apologize. "Am I the asshole for replacing them. "with pictures of my dog. "because they never sent me a picture?". - Whoo. What a ride.
- What a ride. - What could be said? - [Shayne] No, not much can be said. - I mean, I would say to take the time. to explain so much of what happened over a phone case, valid in being upset about it, that person's going through something, you know? Where it's just like-. - I think they thought they had the best gift of all time. Like, they were like, "This is gonna make Grandpa's life.". - Hey, Grandpa loved it. - Grandpa did love it. - Grandpa loves it. - Grandpa also thought it was hilarious. that three of the cousins were replaced by dogs.
- Yeah. That's kind of amazing. - [Spencer] Yeah. - And those photos of the dogs, probably better than any of the photos of the cousins. - It's like, bro, just Google me. and throw those images on there. - Yeah. - With that said, the dogs have a lot of variety, they're in different costumes, so there was a lot of thought put into that-. - [Shayne] I agree. - At least. - Yeah, absolutely. I was gonna say, this reminds me though, 'cause this type of behavior, I fully understand it, 'cause I feel like family group chats-. - Oh, it's a mess. - Very much a thing where people just ignore it.
You just, like, everyone has their family group chat. on do not disturb. - Yes. - Oh, no, when, I mean-. - I mean, no. - I was gonna say-. - No. - What I was gonna say is this reminds me. of getting like memes for "Who Memed It". or guesses for "Shayne Guesses". where it's like you have to text everyone a million times. and be like, "Hey, I need you to submit this.". And it's like, ah. I can't. There's just no response. - There's something funny about when something is so easy, you keep pushing it off. and it's the thing you don't get done. Whereas if he was like,
"Hey, I need all of us to knit a sweater for grandpa,". there's almost like a argument to be made. of like that might be easier to get people to do. because it's a bigger undertaking. - Yeah. - So it's like, oh, we're gonna take it seriously. But it's a photo, so it's like, I'll send a photo at some point. or just look at my Instagram or something. - Do we think OP. like should have screenshotted their Instagram pictures? - No. No. This was way funnier. - Okay. That's fair. - And Grandpa appreciated it. If he wanted to get petty revenge, he could have picked like the worst photo. off their Instagram. - True. - Just something bad. Or like an environmental shot.
that one of 'em took on their Instagram. I'm not even in the photo. It's like, it's from your Instagram, bro. - Or like their like follow count or something like that. (everyone laughs). It's like, ooh, like which cousin has the least followers? - Oh, brutal. - I will say if Op was really thinking about Grandpa though, probably would've made the move to screenshot the Instagram. - Yeah. - Mm. - It's like, do you even care about Grandpa? - Yeah, what did Grandpa do? - I get that. What would Grandpa want? - Right. - But they did the right call. Grandpa really enjoyed this.
- He enjoyed the dogs. - So you call it Op. Do you say jif? - [Shayne] You say Op? - Yeah. - Op. I like Op as if he hates his grandpa. Like, I'm the op, yeah. - So actually that was a trick. I knew you said jif. - Yeah. - I know that. That's something I know about you is you say jif. - Okay. - Okay. - That's something that you've clocked about me, that you remember that? - Yeah. - I don't want that to be like. on my permanent wrap- - That's the top of your Wiki. - That you remember me about. - It says jif. - You're in my phone as Mari jif Takahasi. - Mari jif. (laughs).
Brutal! (everyone laughs). That sucks, dude. - Take that. - Chat, clip that. - The verdict is not the asshole. Comments. "Grandpa liked it. "That's all that matters. "Not the asshole.". - Whatever, bro. Grandpa liked it. - Someone said, "Not the asshole. "You gave them plenty of warning. "and told them exactly what would happen. "if they didn't send. "Yeah, you could have screenshot something on their socials, "but they didn't want to make any effort, "so they didn't need to be on the gift.". Someone tagged the subreddit Malicious Compliance.
Someone also said, "Also let's be real, "they probably would complain. "if OP picked the wrong pic of them off their social media. "There's no winning with these types of people.". - Who would've been the funniest person. to jump in on the thread? Like, would it be Grandpa or one of the cousins, or like... - Grandpa. - I'm thinking Grandpa jumping in the thread being like, "I loved it!". - I think Grandpa worrying, the chat being like, "Was this the time you guys went to the pumpkin patch? "You look great.". And it's like, "Grandpa, that's a dog.". (everyone laughs).
- You look good here. It's a dog, Grandpa. Mm. - Mm. - I don't think so. - I don't know. - Shnookums. (everyone laughs). - I don't think so. "Not the asshole. "You could have easily just left every human off. "and put photos of your dog and it'd be okay. "because it's your gift, not theirs.". And then we have a note here from our producers. Unfortunately, we don't have pictures of the phone case. or dog because according to OP in the comments, "I mean this in the nicest way possible, "but I have a pretty weird looking dog,
"so I think pictures of him would be identifiable.". - Oh. - I thought it was gonna be, "I have an ugly family,". is what he was gonna say for sure. - Yeah, my dog's awesome. My family, ugly as hell. - The cousins who did submit, not the ones I wanted. - That's why Grandpa was stoked. He's like, "Oh, great, you're dog. "Not my ugly nephews.". - The Bob Oger. My ugly, ugly children. - [Emily] My little women. - My little ugly children. - My little ugly children. This episode of "Reddit Stories" is sponsored by Quince.
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and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's quince.com/pitreddit. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com/pitreddit. Back to the show. Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole, September of 2025. "Am I the asshole for not wanting our friend. "to ever come back to our house. "after he ate literally everything we owned?". (everyone laughs).
My friend, a bear. - I get both sides. (everyone laughs). - My friend Yogi Bear. - Goldilocks. (everyone laughs). - "My husband and I live abroad. "Earlier this year, a mutual acquaintance, "let's call him K, "reached out saying he'd been scammed. "with an apartment rental and had nowhere to stay. "At first we only offered a weekend, "but he was polite, helped around the house, "and seemed grateful, so we ended up letting him stay. "the full 20 days he asked for. "During that time, some things rubbed us the wrong way. "He never bought groceries,
"and multiple times he pretended he was going to pay, "but forgot his wallet. "or claimed he could only use Apple Pay, "not accepted at our local supermarket. "He'd eat way more than his share. "Once my husband and I shared half a pizza, "and he ate the other pizza and a half.". - Nice. - [Shayne] "Without contributing.". - Bro's hungry. - "We felt bad for him, so we let it go. "We stayed friendly, "and a few months later, we were planning a 17 day trip. "Since he was struggling with rent, "we offered him to stay at our place. "in exchange for taking care of our dog.
"I even wrote a Google doc with instructions for the house, "dog care-". - Ate the dog. (everyone laughs). - "I even wrote a Google" (laughs). (everyone laughs). "I even wrote a Google doc with instructions for the house, "dog care, gym access, et cetera. "I told him he could eat anything that was going to expire. "Fruit, veggies, yogurt, et cetera. "When we came back, everything was gone. "And I mean everything.
"The entire fridge, freezer, pantry, "he finished two jars of jam.". - Bro, the whole can of Who Hash? (everyone laughs). - Holy shit. "He finished two jars of jam, a jar of peanut butter, "a giant Costco bottle of olive oil, condiments, "rice, snacks, cheese." - Wow. - "Even my husband's supplements, creatine.". (everyone laughs). - He was like, "Oh, I'm so hungry." (laughs). - He's buff as (beep).
Yeah, you had all those steroids in the closet. I did 'em all. "He completely destroyed a ceramic pan. "He consumed things that usually last us six months. "in just two weeks. "I honestly suspect he might have taken stuff with him. "because it's insane how much-". - A to-go bag. (laughs). (everyone laughs). - "I didn't confront him. "except to ask him to replace the pan, "which he mocked me about. "It's just a pan. "Why are you making it a big deal?". - Uh-oh. - "I felt deeply disrespected. "Now he keeps texting me acting like nothing happened. "and wants to hang out.".
(everyone laughs). - What? - You guys wanna get dinner tonight? - Your place? - Hey, you guys cooking something? (laughs). He floats to their window. Oh. I smell pie. - He's gonna bust in like Kramer. - "I told my husband I don't want him. "in our home ever again. "My husband says I'm being too harsh, "and if he wants to stay friends, that's his choice. "But I feel completely taken advantage of and disrespected. "So am I the asshole. "for not wanting to see this guy ever again.
"and refusing to let him come back to our house?". What's his, No Face from "Spirited Away.". (everyone laughs). He's like... (everyone laughs). - Ah, ah. - Oh my god. - I really want the other side. I want the friend side. - The other side is just, "Oh, so hungry.". (everyone laughs). (Shayne groans). - I could eat a... - The other side is a family of raccoons. (everyone laughs). The only things that remind me of this is stories. where wild animals eat a ton of shit.
I one time was staying at an Airbnb, and there was a mini fridge on the outside, like on the back porch that you could use, and there was a kind of a little latch. - White people shit. - And we had like (laughs). And we had like a full carton of eggs, some milk, all this, like a whole bag of cheese. And in the night, like some raccoons got into it, and I'm talking the whole carton was empty. The whole bag of cheese, shredded cheese was empty. All this stuff. And I'm like, somewhere there's a raccoon. that's just like (yells).
(everyone laughs). - That's so cute. - A balloon of a raccoon just like (yells). But it also reminds me of cocaine bear, the real story about a bear. who got into a bunch of cocaine and ate it all. - There was a movie, right? - They made a movie, a fictionalized version. - Elizabeth Banks. - But in real life, the bear just had a good time and passed out. But in the movie, he killed people. - I did see (laughs). People died. No, I did see a video recently of people unloading groceries. and a bear comes up,
and they have no choice but to surrender their groceries. - Oh, you surrender your groceries to the bear. - Yeah, and it's just-. - And he knows it. - Bears getting into people food. - Bear's like, "Ah, I forgot my wallet.". (everyone laughs). Apple Pay? (Shayne growls). - Then he ruined my pan. - Okay. - It's just a pan, bro. - Okay, back to the story. The verdict is not the asshole, and I think that's completely fair. This guy, I very much have the vibe of when we have guests. or if you have someone who's cat sitting.
or dog sitting or whatever, I'm like, yeah, like help yourself to everything. - Everything. - That's my vibe. - But no one's ever actually taken everything. - The implication is that like within reason. - Within reason, yes, of course. Like, if I'm staying at someone's place. or I'm cat sitting for someone or dog sitting. and they say that, I'm like, I'm gonna still be reasonable. I'm gonna know like, oh-. - If there's fruit Gushers, I might have a thing of fruit Gushers. - Oh, I might have a fruit Gusher, yeah, absolutely. - But so my...
I'm gonna play devil's advocate. - Okay. - He's a hungry boy. - Yeah, yeah. Have you ever been so hungry? No. (everyone laughs). Like, if you are truly, so it was 17 days. - 17 days. - If you are in a house for 17 days, like think of your apartment. I mean, maybe not specifically yours, but like I think I could go through most. of the food in my apartment, if not all of it, in 17 days. - If you're not buying anything. - If you're not buying anything-. - [Shayne] It's true. - If you're not getting DoorDash or anything like that. - Just dry scooping creatine. - Yeah, if I'm like,
like if I'm eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich a day, let's say I'm eating two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. a day, like-. - Okay, two jars of jam and a jar of peanut butter. - That's not that crazy. But the thing is with most food at home, like, I feel like it's kind of the cycle of like, well, I'm kind of tired of this. Let me buy some more. But if you're committing to those foods, I think you're finishing 'em. - [Emily] There is a giant Costco bottle of olive oil. - Maybe he's cooking a lot. - There's a lot. But a giant Costco sized olive oil-. - It's this. - I love olive oil.
I'd be using it all the time. That's a lot to get through in 17 days. - He had to get his essential fats every day. - Yeah. - My god. - He was like the drain's so hungry. (everyone laughs). You don't like pouring olive oil down the drain? - Yeah. We love doing that. (everyone laughs). What's it called? Is it a fatberg? That's like when it's like-. - Oh yeah. - A bunch of fat and tissue paper-. - Like, coagulates. - Coagulates and it clogs up the drain. Yeah. That's what he's making.
- Mm-hmm. - [Shayne] He's doing experiments. - Yeah. He's a man of science. - He's like, "So I made a volcano out of paper mache.". (everyone laughs). - Holy crap. See, this has me almost fascinating. where the next time they go on a 17 day trip, it's like, hey, leave only lean chicken, broccoli, rice. Come back. He's now a bodybuilder. - Yeah. It's like now you can do experiments on him. It's like whatever you leave in the house, like he will eat. - He will eat. Like, what things can you leave there. to see if he'll eat it?
Like, what? (laughs). - Dude, performing experiments on your friend. is like the funniest phrase ever. It's like, "Well, I've been performing experiments on you.". (everyone laughs). - We wanted to see what you would eat. - We wanted to see what you would do. - If you would eat anything. - Have you guys ever had a friend. where it's like you go out to a restaurant together. and like no matter what's left over, they'll just be like, "Let me finish that.". - Oh yeah. - Even if it's like the, yeah. - It's awesome. - Yeah, it's sick. - No, like, in many ways that's like, it's such a great friend to have, someone who will like take leftovers or whatever.
I mean here we have a Luke. - [Spencer] Yeah, no, Luke is-. - We don't waste food here at Smosh. because Luke takes it home. - Yeah. - I hope he's cool with us saying that, but like it's fantastic. - Oh, he does. Yeah, we have a guy who takes- - It's a great system. - Yeah. - No, they should leave a bunch of Vegemite. - Oh. - The next time they leave, they should have their normal food, but then like 10 jars of Vegemite. and see if he goes through all of that. - I feel like it's an acquired taste. Given 17 days-. - Give him the most acquired tastes around the world. - Yes. - Vegemite, natto.
- [Mari] Yes. - Any, like-. - Durian. - Durian, yeah. - What's the fish? The fermented fish. - But he'll acquire it. He'll acquire the taste. - I wanna see what he'll eat. - Yeah. Experiments. - For me, reading a hypothetical story, this surpasses now where I'm mad. into being like fascinating. - Yes. - And it's also hilarious. - Yes. - But yes, disrespectful. He is not being conscientious. - The pan ruining. - If he's not conscientious of this siloed thing. in his life, what else is he not conscientious about?
- Yeah. - Space. Oh man. Like, taking up space like this. - [Shayne] Oh. - This stuff. - Mari pitched sitting like this the whole episode. I was like... - Like this. - Yeah. - And like clearly your legs are touching. and you're like, "That's not bothering you?". And then you do this and then you're like, cool. - When you're on a plane and someone does that, rough. - When there's the touchy, and sometimes I'm just like... - Have you guys ever seen. when people have like their hair over the back. of like the plane. - Bold move.
- Or like their feet up and like in between the thing. I'd be like, I'm tickling this. - Oh, with no socks on? - Yeah. Oh, dogs out. - Yeah. - I'm like, it's a liability. - See, if this person was also that person, I'd be mad at this person. - I think they very likely could be. They seem like that. They're not thinking about other people's stuff. - Now I'm not curious. I'm mad. - He's absolutely the asshole. when they brought up the pan, and he's like, "It's just a pan.". You ruined it. You gotta pay for it. All right, comments. "He didn't consume it all in that time. "He emptied your place and took it back to his. "to last him a while.
"He stole from you like he was on a shopping spree.". That is the most likely scenario. I'm laughing at the-. - He's a forager. - I'm laughing at the idea of him eating it all. That's funny and awesome. - Like, okay, Shaggy. - Him stealing it... Him stealing it sucks. Someone said, "I know, right? "What was he otherwise doing? "Drinking a cup of olive oil mixed with some creatine. "for breakfast every morning?". Someone said, "Not the asshole.". Hey. - That sounds like something like a fitness bro would do. - Yeah. Someone said, "Not the asshole. "This person is not your friend, "and your husband needs to rethink anyone.
"who mocks his wife over something that person destroyed. "This friend has little to no respect for either of you. "If your husband wants to lessen himself. "by continuing this one-sided friendship with this guy, "it's on him. "However, you do not let anyone. "who treated your home the way he did back in again. "You can decide if you'll reconsider if this guy apologizes, "but he's not allowed to be in your home alone again.". - (gasps) "Home Alone.". - OP said, "I think it's because we live. "outside our home country, "and it's not that easy for him to make friends here. "I feel like he's being overly patient. "because he's very lonely. "Still, I do realize this is something I need.
"to talk to him about. "I just needed a bit of validation. "But I do plan to have a conversation. "with him on different terms. "because a real friend doesn't do this kind of thing.". - Stop befriending raccoons. You know? - Yeah. Stop befriending forest critters. Anyways, all right, moving on. Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole, comes from October 2025. "Am I the asshole for saying 'ew'. "to a picture of my roommate's boyfriend?" (laughs). - It's just like "Home Alone.".
- Ooh. That's woof. (everyone laughs). "On a burner account, so hopefully they won't find this. "I, a 19-year-old girl have been living. "with my roommate, who's 19, since February of last year. "And ever since we have moved in together, "our relationship has been total chaos. "She has a Great Dane. "that doesn't have enough space in our apartment. "She doesn't care about the cleanliness. "of the hardwood floors. "nor being very hospitable towards guests. "She is temperamental. "and gets upset over what seems like nothing, "and I can't get through to her. "why my friends and I don't wanna spend time with her.
"despite her wanting. "to be the center of attention constantly. "She tends to get upset. "whenever she cannot be in control of a situation. "whether I have places I wanted to go and she tags along, "yet insists on going where she wants to until I cave, "or gets really mad and starts complaining. "despite the fact that she tagged along with me, "not the other way around. "She used to be rude to my friends, "but has been better with that. "But since that happened, "my friends would rather not spend time with her. "since she tends to be very selfish. "and we don't have much in common. "She expects me to talk to her when she is sad all the time,
"but doesn't care about anything I do as well. "Anyway, the other night...". - Anyway. (everyone laughs). - Anyway, she's a stupid dumb idiot. (Spencer laughs). "Anyway, the other night she exploded on me. "because after sending a picture of her boyfriend, "I responded 'ew' because I thought it was funny.". (Spencer laughs). "I had my friends over earlier that day, "so I'm concerned that may not have helped, "especially since she wanted to go out with us, "but we said no.". - Oh. - That's crazy. (laughs).
- "She got upset and said I'm constantly mean to her. "and she regrets ever meeting me. "I would normally brush that off, "but then when I said I would be going to bed, "she said, 'Don't wake up.'. "And I felt that seriously crossed the line. "She blocked me and won't speak to me now. "Am I the asshole?". - Wow. - Many layers. - Oh, to be 19 again. - Many layers and I'm gonna eat all of them. (Spencer laughs). - Oh. - Talking shit about this roommate for like 10 minutes.
and then being like, "And then I said...". - I won't hang out with you. - I'm like, stop trying to prime us against this person. Like, you did an asshole thing. I don't care how much you hate her. Like, she sent a picture of her boyfriend, you said, "Ew.". - I mean, that is pretty funny. - It's funny. But it's also like you're not on that rapport. - Yes. - Yeah. - That's a fully fine response from a lot of people. if like you get the joke. - Yes. - She knew like, oh yeah, this person who I hate.
But we got this rapport going. - Was it like boyfriend, is this the boyfriend reveal? - [Shayne] It might be boyfriend reveal. - That's crazy. - If it's boyfriend reveal, that's rough. Also though, you know what I'm thinking about. is, oh, you guys are going out tonight. Can I join? No. - I don't think so. How do you say no? - How do you say no? - That's a tough spot to be in. And it's why when people are like... If I'm ever like in a situation, I feel like it happens here where like people are like, "Oh yeah, we're doing this thing tonight.".
I'm not gonna like ask if I can join. - You wait for the, yeah. - I wait for an invitation, but I'm not gonna like be like, "Can I come?". 'Cause what do people say to that? - Well, you kind of have to say yes. - You have to say yes. - Unless it's like, oh, we have a reservation for five. Even then it's just like, oh, we'll try. We'll call and try to make it for six. - Yeah. - Why does that feel so vulnerable? Like you're in third grade being like, "Can I come?". No. - I understand. even if it's like a couple good friends of mine. and we're a group, but I'm like, I get like there's certain situations,
certain dynamics, maybe people wanna talk about something. I don't know. It doesn't bother me. I don't think about it. But, man, to ask to join to go out and be told no. Ooh, and you're 19. You add that layer. Oh God. - The van's pretty full. - Yeah. (everyone laughs). - Sorry. The Hyundai can't fit anymore. Oh my god. Yeah. But I-. - It's like you're 19. It's like if you're in college, you're probably walking some... I don't know.
This is awful. - But I'm like, based on everything they wrote, I'm like, you're probably the asshole. - I wanna know more about the Great Dane. - I think they're probably both just assholes to each other, it sounds like. - Not a good match. - Having a Great Dane. in an apartment though, that's pretty crazy. - Great Danes I thought can actually manage. pretty well in small apartments 'cause they're pretty lazy. - I just mean size wise. - Oh, size. They're huge. - I'm like, that's a horse. - Yeah, it is a full horse. - Yeah. - But we also don't know, like, did they already have the dog. and then this is just something that they're annoyed with,
or was it brought in after? You know, it just seems like there's so many layers. that they're already not liking about this person. - Like, the circumstances of the move-in are-. - Yes. - Roommate situations are messier than anything else. - Yeah. - Verdict was asshole. (everyone laughs). Comments. - Comments. Ew. (everyone laughs). - Yes. (everyone laughs). - Comments. "Why did you include the first two paragraphs?". (everyone laughs).
Yeah. - [Mari] Valid. - Straight up. - Yes. Agreed. - "They have nothing to do with the conflict at hand. "All it's doing is creating the narrative. "you want to push forward for the actual question at hand. "Are you the asshole for saying 'ew'. "at a picture of her boyfriend. "because you thought it was funny? "Yes. Yes, you are. "It was uncalled for and frankly mean.". Someone said-. (Spencer laughs). Someone said- - And frankly mean. - Yeah, it's mean. "You're the asshole. "She sounds unpleasant to be around, "but in that specific interaction, "you are being an asshole.". Someone said, "Everyone sucks here. "Not gonna lie, you both sound exhausting. "Responding 'ew' to someone's boyfriend photo is immature.
"and rude, and you're clearly trying to paint your roommate. "in a negative light. "Your roommate has controlling tendencies. "and blocking and silent treatment as conflict resolution. "You both suck.". Don't wake up. (everyone laughs). - Can't wake up. - Look at my boyfriend. Ew. Don't wake up. - (beep) yourself. (everyone laughs). "Don't wake up" is such a childish, like-. - Oh my god. - Like it's a choice. - A war is going on in this apartment.
Oh man. - The poor Great Dane. Get the Great Dane out. - I know. - That Great Dane just going like (grunts). (everyone laughs). Ruh-roh! (everyone laughs). - And he's like, "I raid the whole kitchen.". (everyone laughs). - I drink all the olive oil. (everyone laughs). - Come on, Scoob. (everyone laughs). - I'm now going back to the previous story. Imagine that guy making a sandwich. out of everything in the house. and unhinging his jaw and eating it whole. - Bro was making Shaggy sandwiches.
every night. - I bet he was so stoked. - He has all the ingredients for a Shaggy sandwich. (everyone laughs). - A quart of olive oil. (everyone laughs). I'm saying you probably are, if you are making a Shaggy sandwich, realistically you're gonna want copious amounts of olive oil. or like, you know-. - Oh, it's gonna need it. - Like, oil, vinegar. Like, you know. 'Cause it's like kind of like Italian, like I know he always uses salami. Shaggy always uses salami on sandwiches. - A Shaggy sandwich is eldritch in nature. - Yeah. It's unknowable, but he's probably not using... Like, to me a jam would not be on a Shaggy sandwich.
- I disagree. - There might be a... There might be a little corner of it. - I think you could add some jam to the sandwich. You know, if you have got some turkey in there. - I think like a cranberry. - A cranberry. We don't know what kind of jam. - A seasonal Shaggy sandwich. - We must move on. (everyone laughs). - That's what the ghosts want us to do. (everyone laughs). - We're not usually like this. (Spencer laughs). - We're not usually... - We're not usually like this. - You're trying to convince me?
(crew laughs). - We're usually more professional. - Yeah. Okay. - Today's episode of "Reddit Stories". is also sponsored by Zocdoc. I used to make a lot of excuses. when it came to booking doctor's appointments. Oh, I work all day. Oh, I'll do it next week. Oh, I'm just too sleepy. I don't have time to book my dermatologist. Well, that's not the case anymore. With Zocdoc, you can book anytime anywhere. So when you find yourself worried about a symptom, you can just log in and book your appointment with Zocdoc.
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Nectarines are so good. Next story comes from Am I the Asshole, comes from October of 2025. "Am I the asshole for crashing out. "because my friend called me a passport bro?". - Ooh. - Hmm. - [Shayne] Ooh. Brutal. - Curious about this one. - I think I know what this is. - Have you ever heard of a passport bro? - I think so. Is it-. - What do you think it is? - Is this somebody who travels to other countries. and like sleeps with people? - I think it's, yeah, they're going to another country. to try to find a wife in that country. - Oh, a wife specifically. - That's kind of my understanding is like,
yeah, this is someone who's traveling. to like kind of find, yeah. - [Emily] It's like marriage tourism. - Gotcha. Okay. - So it's not a good thing to be called. - And this guy's crashing out. - And he is crashing out. "I'm male, 26. "I've been with my boyfriend Luca for five years. "Basically, we met when I went to Italy. "for a photography project, and we clicked really fast. "I'm fluent in Italian. "I've been learning since I was 10, "and he is 100% Italian as well. "Two years ago, I moved in with him in Italy.
"A week ago, we visited Canada where I'm from. "and stayed at my friend Emma's house. "She was basically all over Luca. "and flirting with him and everything. "Luca told me he was uncomfortable, and I told her to stop, "and then she started (beep) swearing at me, "saying shit like I was creepy for going for Italian men. "Luca is legit the only Italian man I know. "Then she called me a passport bro. "And then she was like, "'You're (beep) creepy because he has a more feminine. "'and younger face, "'so basically you're attracted to younger Italian men.'. "The jumps this girl jumped.
"Luca and I are the same age. "And she was like, 'You're not teaching him English. "'so he can be clueless. "'and you can feed your white savior complex.'. "And at that point I (beep) crashed out. "and said some not nice things.". (Spencer laughs). "And told her she should lay off. "on the omegaverse yaoi she's reading, "which was kind of out of left field for me to say, I admit, "but I was mad. "Now she's mad and got our mutual friends to gang up on me. "and Luca's saying I should apologize, "but also set boundaries with her. "Am I the asshole?".
Okay. So I don't-. - We have to save these Italians. - Oh, this one's got a lot of... - So it's sounding like-. - This is a Shaggy sandwich in itself. - (laughs) This is a Shaggy sandwich of a story. - Yeah. - Yeah. He's not sounding like a passport, bro. He was in Italy and he met someone. Then they clicked, and they've been dating for five years. He didn't go to Italy with the intention of this. - Meeting someone. - Yeah, absolutely. It doesn't sound like he's taking advantage. of this person whatsoever.
They're both the same age. - From the facts presented, OP has not displayed passport bro. He could be omitting things. - No, what it's sounding like is that his friend Emma. is just kinda weird. - She wants to (beep) Luca. - She was all over Luca. Luca got uncomfortable, said, "Hey, can you say something? "I'm uncomfortable with how she's acting.". The second he drew a boundary, she lost her mind. and is trying to guilt him for it. So that's what's going on here.
Verdict, not the asshole. Someone said, "Not the asshole. "She was the asshole the moment she started flirting. "with your boyfriend. "Then it sounds like she was projecting. "She's probably jealous. "because your boyfriend sounds pretty cool. "And even trying to play fair for your sake. "Forget about her. "She's not a friend.". That-. - Yeah. - Don't wake up. - Don't wake up. - Someone said, "Not the asshole. "Just what? "How does she act like that and think she's in the right? "And the fact that your mutual friends are ganging up on you. "either means this isn't the full story.
"or your friend group has severe brain damage.". - It's all that omegaverse yaoi. - That's what omegaverse yaoi does to you. - Do you know what the omegaverse is? - No. - It's like some people are alphas, and they're made to like breed specifically the omegas, right? And the betas are kind of separate from it. I'm not doing a good job explaining it. - Okay. - But it's like, it's this whole, it's the omegaverse. - So omegas are the breedable ones? - Yes. - So then it's an omegaverse yaoi 'cause, okay. - Yeah, but I think that would just mean it's all gay.
- Oh. - [Shayne] Yo. - I'm learning so much! - Wow. Omegaverse yaoi "Reddit Stories"? - Would do numbers. (everyone laughs). - OP responded to that comment saying, "She only told them about my yaoi omegaverse comment. "And they genuinely won't listen to my side of the story. "They're calling me an internalized homophobe.". Someone responded to that saying, "Time for you to ditch them, I guess. "Boy, you literally have a boyfriend. "How the (beep) are you homophobic. "when you're in a gay relationship?
"She's probably just super jealous. "because you have a hot boyfriend and she does not. "What does she even think? "She's flirting with a man in a gay relationship. "and it doesn't occur to her. "that he's most likely not interested in her? "What was her goal here? "All of this doesn't make sense.". There were additional comments bringing up, "You can be homophobic if you bash yaoi. "But OP wasn't doing that really, "just making a dig at Emma, which he regrets.". But yeah, she just sounds jealous. - No, pulling the homophobia card, just like, you know. - Like Yugi. - Yeah. (laughs). - [Shayne] Like yaoi.
(everyone laughs). No, it's exhausting. That's unfortunately very exhausting. - Very exhausting. Get out of it. - Get out of it. - Get out of it. - You're in Italy. Someone said, "Not the asshole. "You need to take that girl to Italy. "and find her another boy. "because she is clearly jealous of what she doesn't have.". Someone said, "Italian here. "Please do not bring her here. "We don't want her.". (everyone laughs). Okay, but bringing her to Italy with the express purpose. of finding a boyfriend makes her. a passport bro. - A passport bro. Yep.
- So... Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole, October of 2025. - These are recent assholes. - Yeah. "Am I the asshole for being bad at D&D?". (Mari laughs). - Probably. - [Shayne] Okay. - Skill issue. - Maybe. - Yeah. Maybe. - Right? Maybe. I'm already prejudging here. - "Using a throwaway account. "because my campaign mates know my main account. "So I've been playing D&D for about two years.
"and have had a long string of player characters. "that have died during the campaign. "I think the count is at six or seven. "I genuinely try not to just put my character. "in dangerous situations, "but I often feel like the rolls just don't go my way. "First one was a barbarian, "and I was going reckless for every attack, "and then the bad guy got some good rolls. "and just crit me a few times in a row. "Then they finished me off during death saves. "Then another one I decided to try being a bard, "got silenced and immobilized. "Then some generic low level guys just came and beat me up,
"and I was not able to fight back at all.". (everyone laughs). Hey, this guy can't talk! (everyone laughs). This reminds me of, there was a story where the DM created a bird. that hates you, that just killed, that like wiped the party. 'cause it was like, yeah, this bird hates you guys. - He was mad at his like his party. - Yeah. - So he was just like, "Yeah, and enter the bird that hates you.". - The bird that hates you. "This one was actually a little funny at how useless I was. "In any case, I know I'm not very good, "and we'll often try to strategize, "and my group mates always seem to be on board,
"and then the plans just don't pan out at all. "I play for fun and don't particularly mind being bad, "but my friends have been getting progressively more upset. "at me and even saying things like I'm an asshole. "for always dying and wasting their time.". - Oh. - That's crazy. - "I will genuinely never try to go recklessly. "into a situation, but it feels like no matter what I do, "all the aggression gets focused on me, "and then I get overwhelmed. "I have started asking them if I should just leave the group. "and let them do their thing. "This would be sad for me. "because this was a group of close friends,
"and I thought we were having a good time. "It's only been in the last three to four months. "that they've started becoming more angry towards me, "and I genuinely don't know why. "In any case, all input would be appreciated. "and there may be a perspective I'm not considering. "But am I the asshole for being bad at D&D?". Okay. I have... Any? - I mean no. Like... - No, he's not the asshole. I was gonna say I have limited D&D experience. Obviously we've done it here at Smosh a little bit. But you're telling a story together,
and the DM does have some control on what's going on. The fact that you were silenced, immobilized, and that a group of characters beat you up, I'm like, I'm questioning like, I think the DM's killing you a little bit here. - Yeah, it feels... - Silence and immobilized is pretty intense. - It feels, like, I know there's a lot of nuance to DMing. and so maybe it's truly just a string of bad luck. But it's like how much can you blame? Like, you know, I would imagine you'd want to collab.
with the DM to be like, "Hey, what am I doing wrong?". Like, I would talk to the DM. - It's also not just the DM, it's also the group. - [Shayne] Yeah. - It's like you-. - It is a fellowship. It is everyone together. You die as a barbarian? Wow. I mean, that's the rest of the group. also not coming through. - I cannot blame this guy. Six to seven characters dying in a two year campaign. That is absurd. Like, that is going beyond, you can't just roll bad and have that many deaths.
- You can. - You can roll bad. - I can roll pretty bad. But even I didn't die that easily. - Maybe, like I wanna know who else is dying? Like, are they the only person dying in these campaigns? - Is everybody dying? But like also the purpose of D&D is to have fun, man. - Yeah. - Like, you're not playing it professionally. in this context. You're just having a good time. It's kinda like if you're playing pickup basketball. and someone's playing way too intensely, it's like, hey man, we're just having a good time here. We're not trying to like, we're not trying to make the league, so...
- What league? - The NBA. - The. Capital T, capital L. The League. - Yeah, this just, I'm questioning this DM. I think this DM's killing him. - I think the friend group doesn't like him. - It also seems... The D&D drama that I hear is agonizing. Some of these D&D groups are going through it. - If you do anything with that close of a group of people. for that long, like I think there's always inevitably gonna be drama. Like...
- Not all of them. I feel like I hear about good ones, but it is a pot that can easily boil, it feels like. Comments. "How old are you and the other people involved?". (Spencer laughs). - On any Reddit thread, how old are you? - [Shayne] That's crazy. How old are you? - Wait, what was it after "how old are you?". - "How old are you and the other people involved?". Including the DM. "Apologies. New to posting on Reddit. "I am a 28-year-old man and my friends are 25, 31, 27, 33.
"The DM is a 32-year-old woman, "and she says she's trying to stay out of it.". Someone said, "Not the asshole. "This sounds like a DM issue as much as anything else. "A DM shouldn't be killing off players so easily.". - I'm sorry. How is the DM staying out of it? - Yeah, the DM's like, "I don't want any part of this.". - It's like, you're running the game. (laughs). - Yeah. - "My DM, even when things get dicey, "there are always ways to get out of it, "and that's what makes a good DM. "Also, your teammates should have been trying to help you. "It's a team game.". Yeah, if you die on death saves, it's like, either the DM is sending someone to kill you.
during death saves or nobody came to rescue you. - Yeah. - "Not the asshole. "D&D is about having fun with friends. "At no point has any group that I have been a part of. "has ever been upset that someone's character died. "There are only three explanations I can see for this. "One, your friends are jerks. "Two, there is something left out of the story above. "You are taking forever to make decisions. "or you require 100% of the DM's time. "while you make a new character, which stops the game. "or some other social thing that is causing the game. "to be unfun for the group.
"Or lastly, this is fake/AI.". OP responded, "They never used to get upset, "and it felt like the last three to four months. "was complete about face. "I tried to be quicker with decision making, "but these days I get more anxious with each of my turns. "because I don't want to be wrong.". - [Mari] Aw. - "My friends have all been playing for 10 plus years, "and I was a new addition.". - Mm. - Update. The next day. "Thank you, everyone, for your insights and support. "I decided a few hours ago to reach out to the DM. "and just let her know I'm going to find a new group.
"or just separate myself from this one. "After a long conversation, "it came out that actually this group. "was in fact doing this on purpose, and the DM was in on it. "She ultimately told me. "because she says she felt guilty that it went so far, "but this explains her lack of insight or help, I guess. "Apparently this group. "had trouble getting through fights/encounters, "and the DM got frustrated that this was interfering. "with her storytelling. "Then when I came around, "they found that having all the enemy's attention. "on the new guy allowed the real players. "to explore their stories and encounters.
"without having to retreat all the time. "Honestly, it seemed like some convoluted logic to me, "and I'm assuming they started expressing this anger. "towards me as a way of keeping me useless via insecurity. "of my experience and decisions. "This inevitably made me feel like it was my fault, "and then when my own decision stopped killing me, "they would just allow my character to gradually die off. "by not equitably distributing help. "In any case, I am definitely out of this group, "and they definitely are not my friends. "This has made me really confused.
"because I just don't really understand. "why they had to go about this in such a hurtful way, "but I appreciate everyone for helping me get the courage. "to talk to them and push hard enough. "to actually get some truth.". So this group was so bad at D&D. that they needed to get someone in to be a punching bag. so that they can... - Also so bad at communication. - Oh. - There's so many other ways to tackle this issue. Instead of like-. - Play it differently. Like, what the hell is going on here? - Yikes. - Yeah, that's way worse.
than anything I could have imagined. (laughs). - How bad at storytelling do you have to be that it's like, okay, we gotta have someone. so they can handle the bad stuff. - And even like, I think there could be a world. where you almost like communicate with someone. where it's like, oh, and I'll make the character that keeps dying. and like kind of like throwing themselves. Like, that is a character choice that is funny. and like maybe they figure out way. to like keep resurrecting him and that's part of the, like that's the cool thing about D&D. or any RPG is that you can-. - Yeah, but the setup is that they're on purpose,
they're purposefully targeting him, so the others get to play the game. It doesn't make any sense. - And that's what I'm saying, like there's so many ways to circumvent that issue. or be clever about it. instead of just stringing a human being along. - Yeah, it sounds like they're really-. - And not telling them. - It sounds like they're really bad at D&D as a group. Bad players, bad friends. - And it sounds like they're just like bad problem solvers, like period. - Yeah. Straight up. - Yeah, you tell 'em. - Yeah. - Bad problem-. - Don't wake up. (everyone laughs). - The DM's also a bad DM 'cause that just doesn't,
it's a world where the logic doesn't make sense, you know? Like, you're supposed to be telling an interesting story. - That's why she wanted to stay out it. - Everything in this world hates-. - Get silenced, get immobilized. - Yeah, get beat up. All right, our next story comes from Am I the Asshole, September of 2025. Another recent one. "Am I the asshole for drawing an ugly portrait of someone. "who passed away?". - Like a caricature? - Oh my god. - Ugly in quotations. So maybe OP does not think-.
- Yeah, maybe they don't. - "For context, this happened a few years ago. "during my second to last year of high school. "I recently shared this story with my friends at university, "and they argued over whether I was in the wrong, "which is why I'm posting this. "In my second to last year of high school, "a girl in our grade passed away. "She was terminally ill, "and the school did a short assembly speech, "and a memorial was set up. "Admittedly, I was not that close with her. "We were acquainted and spoke occasionally, "but we weren't close friends per se. "On the day before her memorial, "I drew a portrait of her and brought it to school.
"I noticed that in the area set aside for her memorial, "there were some framed photographs of her. "as well as portraits drawn by her friends. "To be clear, I was not even planning. "on sharing my portrait to begin with. "I intended to see if other people. "were sharing portraits first since I didn't wanna overstep. "I would also say that I am a good artist. "I had a reputation as the class artist. "When I placed my portrait. "next to the other portraits drawn of her, "one of her friends came up to me. "and told me that my drawing wasn't welcome. "I was confused since I saw that there were other portraits,
"but I realized that they were all drawn. "only by her close circle of friends. "I was also told that my drawing was so ugly. "that it had to have been on purpose to mock her. "Multiple people mocked my drawing. "What I don't understand. "is that even if my drawing was ugly, "that was obviously never the intention. "I made the drawing to commemorate her, "and she had no right to disrespect me so openly. "Even if she were a close friend of hers, "she didn't have any right to decide whose artwork could. "or could not be placed on the memorial. "Am I the asshole for refusing to take down my artwork?".
Edit. "This was years ago. "I do not have the drawing or any images of the drawing. "I do remember that it was a pencil drawing. "done on a sheet of paper. "All the other drawings at the memorial. "were also pencil drawings.". Edit number two. "Thank you for all the comments. "I just wanted to clarify a few things. "for those who had been asking. "Yes, I was grieving. "You do not have to be close friends. "to feel the emotional impact of their death. "Secondly, I only mentioned that I was the class artist. "to corroborate the fact that I am not a bad artist. "And so I was singled out. "for not being in their friend group.
"My motivation was the same as everyone else. "Thirdly, this was an open memorial. "People brought all kinds of things, "chocolates, pencils they may have borrowed-". - Chocolates? - "Chocolates, pencils they may have borrowed from her, "random things like that. "The only people to bring drawn portraits. "were I and some of her closer friends.". - Pencils? - She loved pencils. - She loved pencils. The verdict is asshole. And I think... I never...
- Maybe for not taking it, 'cause to me if someone was like, "Oh, that's not welcome here," I'd be like, "Oh shit.". Like, I need to leave the school. - Yeah. I think the verdict makes sense. because OP, in the way they're writing it, and I know it's been some years, but it seems like they're making this all about themselves. And I don't think it's that the drawing was ugly. I think it's that she keeps mentioning, it was like me and her closer friends. It's like, all right, so like her closer friends. probably don't even know you that well,
so they're like, "Why are you bringing this here?". I don't know. I've never... You know, I never went to high school in person, so I never experienced anything like this. Obviously multiple layers of that. So I don't know the like etiquette and nuances of it. - I mean, I do think it is always kinda like a thing when, this is a weird topic, but like when someone dies, it does feel, you almost feel like protective of like, oh, like they were my friend in that way. And if someone comes in who it's like,
oh, you barely even talked to them. Like, maybe that might have been their POV is like, why are you like grieving? Where it's like, it's also not a competition. Like, there's so many layers to this. - There's so many layers. Yeah. - Grieving competition. "Challenge Pit.". - Oh God. - "Challenge Pit" Grief. Yeah, I mean, but it's like draw, like... I don't think they're, asshole's a strong word I think for this. But, you know, they drew a picture,
they tried to put it up like, I don't know. - Yeah. - It sounds a little bit like, yeah, everyone was grieving there, not just you. And this was a complicated situation. And they felt offended by that for whatever reason. And I think it ultimately just seems. like she made it about herself. - Yeah, well, I think initially it probably wasn't, and she was also a teenager. - [Shayne] Yeah. - You know, going through grief. and these really heavy feelings. And this was an expression of how can I use my talents.
to, you know, honor somebody. - [Shayne] Right. - And trying to get through those feelings. as a teenager is already so, so big. But now looking back on it, I would agree that not being able. to think about what's external and what you can't control. and making it about the one thing that you can control, which is yourself, and making it about yourself, I would agree that, yeah, asshole. But originally probably not. - Yeah.
We're not saying you're a bad person for what you did. It's just like, oh, like, here's why what happened happened. - It's like, what can you control now as an adult, you know, looking back on the situation? But I think agreeable that, like, as a teenager, I mean, come on. - It is a weird situation. - Someone telling you like, "Your drawing's not welcome here," though, that would send me. I would crash out. - Yeah. - I might crash out. - Yeah. - I'd be like, "Ew.". - Ew. - Someone saw the drawing of the girl and said, "Ew.".
- Yeah. No, that's really hurtful. - Oh, super hurtful. - And especially like, you know, as a reflection. of not only you wanting to do something nice for somebody, even if you didn't know that person, I think that it is still your way of expressing your art. - Maybe OP is just like legit an annoying person. that nobody likes. And so when they brought the drawing there, everyone's like, "We don't want that.". - It's possible. - And they left that part out of the story. It's like, OP, comma, 19, annoying. - Yeah, I think, 'cause I think I am a little confused.
Like I said, I'm speaking from a very outside perspective. when it comes to like high school. But like an open memorial, I'm like, you kind of think like everything would be welcome. Like, the whole school's bringing stuff. - Chocolates and pencils, weird thing to leave. - Pencils that you borrowed. - Where's the effort? - Pencils that you had borrowed. It's like, here is it back. - High school's such a complicated rough place. and then you add this layer to it. - Yeah. And you're like visible and you're seen. and you're probably feeling like everyone's judging.
every move you make while you're in that grieving process. - So then to bring a drawing up and have someone be like, "Mm-mm-mm.". I would be mad. - Yeah. - I get that. I also think it's a tough one to like recount. because I'm like, that's such a, like, I don't know. With a story like that, I'm like, I wasn't there in the moment. 'cause that sounds like such a wild thing. to say at an open memorial that I'm like, I don't know who you were in high school, what your relationship to these people were in high school,
what the vibe of everything-. - What if OP was a bully? - We don't know all that stuff. And some people like don't reconcile. with themselves being bullies back in high school. - Yeah. - They don't think they were bullies back in high school. And there's just a lot of stuff that's going on. where I'm like at face value, yeah, it doesn't sound like it was-. - I need more details. - But the way they're telling the story is I think. where the asshole verdict is kind of coming from. So the verdict was asshole, but the comments are kind of all over the place. We have one. "You're the asshole.
"You didn't draw the portrait to mock her, "but you did make a girl's tragic early death about you. "And even years later, you're making this moment about you. "Her friends likely felt like you were encroaching. "on this moment. "They lashed out at you in grief, which isn't fair, "but they were children who had just lost a friend. "You should let this one go.". Has like 4,000 up votes. OP said, "Fair enough.". Someone said-. - Damn. Hit 'em with the "fair enough.". - Someone said, "No assholes here. "You are all kids. "who lost someone their own age that they knew. "For some of those kids, "it may have been their first experience with death.
"I know death is always hard, "but there's something a little extra jarring. "about losing someone your age when you're that young. "Everybody grieves differently. "And while you didn't do anything wrong, "I also understand why they lashed out. "I'm sure there was nothing wrong with the drawing. "and they were just being teenagers, "which is emotional enough on its own. "without adding losing a friend to the mix.". Lastly, someone said, "You said that you intended to honor the deceased. "I can't know if the multiple people. "who mocked your picture were bullying you. "or if it really was an unflattering picture.
"You admitted that you and the deceased weren't close. "On the surface since I can't know what anyone was thinking, "it seems that everyone behaved badly. "No one should have mocked your artwork, "and you should have taken it down. "in the interest of peace at a funeral. "Everyone sucks here.". Interesting. - That's such a hard thing to do as like a 17-year-old, to have your art mocked and be like, "You know what? "You're right. "I'm not gonna make it about myself.". Like, I have so much empathy. for a teenager going through that. - [Shayne] Totally. - Adult, different story.
- It's a tough thing too. It's one of those stories. where it's like we're trying to draw these lines of like, who's in the wrong, who's in the right? I'm like, it's an awful situation. And yeah, you're all teenagers like dealing with grief. - And judging. - Things are complicated. Like, yeah. I do agree with like let it go. Like, move on. - Agreed. Yeah. I think judging how somebody grieves. is such an interesting thing. because it's probably a projection. of how we're judging ourselves of how we're grieving. You know, and like that's a projection. But yeah, letting it go. Agreed.
It's been years. - That's all you can do. It's high school. - A sucky situation. All of it was sucky. - It's high school. - And, you know, it's like, maybe it is bringing it back. to the point of honoring that person. - Right. - Draw better. - Oh wow. Wow, Spencer. Anything else? - Get better at drawing, dude. - I would've left her pencils or chocolate. (crew laughs). I'm sorry. I'm really hung up on that. - Yeah, you are. (Spencer laughs). No, it has me wondering what those memorials do.
like after... What do they do with all the stuff? - Give 'em to Spencer. This guy loves pencils. - He loves those pencils. - I would commemorate the pencils. - All right, it's time for our final story. It comes from Am I the Asshole. "Am I the asshole for cheating at an eating competition?". - He's back. (laughs). - No, it's not him. He wouldn't need to cheat. (everyone laughs). - I love that. - "So our local restaurant that has really good wings. "was hosting a hot pepper eating competition recently.".
- Y'all did a few of those. - Yeah. - Yeah, we've had a few of those. - Sorry. - "With a bunch of coupons for free wings on the line. "I have a weird genetic quirk. "where my body doesn't register capsaicin normally, "so my spice tolerance levels are way higher than normal. "So I entered the competition and won the coupons, "but my friends are now telling me that I cheated. "and I should have let normal people compete. "and get the wings. "So, Reddit, am I the asshole for competing? "The wings are so good though.". (everyone laughs).
- He's like-. - Sorry, dude. You're an X-Men. - I was gonna say he's like "Unbreakable,". but for like eating wings. (everyone laughs). - That's how shit works, man. Like, what's his name? - Lance Armstrong and his big-ass heart. And the drugs. - And the drugs also. - The drugs helped. - The drugs help. - Joey Chestnuts, you can't tell me. that guy has like a normal stomach. - But what if he does? - He's gotta have some sort of genetic thing going on. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, that's being like, oh, NBA players, like, you guys are all cheating. You're all really tall. - Yeah. - Can't do that. - No, but him having like the mutant power.
of not being able to like taste, that's-. - That's kind of awesome. - Yeah, it's like, that's your calling. - Yeah. Truly. - But then there's a sadness also of not being able. to experience spice. - Yeah. There is a sadness. - That's true. That's sad. - That's the sacrifice. - I'm gonna say though, like I wonder if his butt has the same powers because-. (everyone laughs). There's a second part. - Is he the asshole for succumbing the asshole to it. - The first time I had to have a habanero pepper here,
I was like, oh my god, that was awful. And it was like horrendous. And then later when I used the bathroom, I was like, that was worse. That was terrifying. I was scared. - Yeah. First time I did habanero on the channel, it was with the Warp Zone, and one of the Warp Zone and I went into the bathroom. at the same time after the shoot was done, we came out like 45 minutes later at the same time. We were like, yeah. - They had y'all eating so many peppers back then. - [Mari] So many. - I ate so many habanero peppers over the years.
Like, easily a dozen. - I think it's time to bring it back. We gotta have like Angela and Amanda, like we gotta make-. - I would actually be down. - Like, has enough time passed? Because we brought back "Five Nights at Freddy's". like last year or something like that, and I'm like, is the time, is it pepper time again? - Pepper time. Pepper time. - I'm just gonna do it on "Smosh Mouth.". We're just gonna be talking. I'll just pop-. - "Smosh Mouth" would be funny as (beep). - I'm gonna do that. Do smelling salts at the same time. Just be fucked up. - Have you ever done smelling salts? - I haven't done it. - Smelling salts is crazy! - I did it once. - Is it actually? - It's crazy. - Unbelievable.
- I just always watched Jujimufu have it right before. - I did it once for a TikTok. I was at home by myself, and I was like, I've always been curious, so I'm gonna do it. And like, you truly just buy it. It's cheap, you get a bottle. - What's the experience? - It is-. - It's like getting slapped in the face. - So you know like how horseradish like does that. to your nose. - Or wasabi. Yeah. - Imagine that times a million where like you truly, like the bottle was here and I went like, I was like, okay, I'm gonna try this. And I have the TikTok. We could show it, a second of it.
I see God. I see God. Oh my god. - It's crazy. It's awesome. - I was genuinely like, I'm gonna try to like not react that much. I'm gonna do my best. And it's not like, it's also just like the moment. and then it doesn't go away for a while. And I was just like, "Oh!". Like, I'm just crying tears. I mean, it wakes you up. - So, okay, people do it before like lifting weights. and stuff.
What did it make you wanna do? Like, you just like had the superpower. (yells). - I don't think in that moment... But it truly is like, oh my adrenaline, everything. I was like, oh my. But mostly it was here. And it's just like, it goes through, you feel your entire like-. - Start drinking olive oil. - It's nuts. - You're just chugging that olive oil. - It was unbelievable. It's not painful. It's just like, whoa. - Are either of y'all in the video. where Courtney eats the raw onion? - I don't think so.
- And she's like crying the whole time. - No, it's not the raw onion. It was the-. - There's a raw onion where she takes a bite of a raw onion. and like there-. - I've taken bites of raw onions. That's not so bad. Courtney did the, no, Courtney did the chip. - The One Chip Challenge. - Oh. - She did that. And truly we almost were like, "Should we cut? "Are you okay?". That was back on "Show With No Name.". - What's that chemical that's on like Sour Patch candies. and stuff? - Oh, Garrett's favorite-. - Oh, malic acid. - Yeah. - I don't react to that.
- That's-. - See I have what this guy has but with malic acid. - That's a weird superpower. - Sour stuff just doesn't, it reaches like a limit and then it doesn't get more sour. - I'm like thinking about the malic acid. and my mouth's already like-. - I did so much malic acid on "Eat It or Yeet It,". and I just was fine. - Say that sentence without the malic. - [Shayne] I know. (everyone laughs). I did so much acid. (Spencer warbles). Comments. "Congrats. You are the Michael Phelps of chicken wings. "If he wasn't cheating by having a genetic advantage. "when it comes to swimming, "you weren't cheating by having a genetic advantage. "when it comes to spicy food.".
Someone said, "It's like telling a guy who's seven feet tall. "not to enter basketball dunking competition. "so guys under six feet can have a fair chance.". Someone said, "(beep) that, you didn't cheat. "Your friends are weak minded individuals. "Not the asshole.". Someone said- - The lion says. - Someone said, "Your friends are stupid. "They should have bet on you winning. "Not the asshole.". - Bet on it. - Someone said, "We need to get you on 'Hot Ones.'". Update. "Thanks, guys." (Spencer gasps). - Update. I'm on "Hot Ones.". (everyone laughs). - Thanks, guys. Sean Evans here. "Thanks, guys. "I guess the consensus. "is that the chicken wings gods blessed me.
"and my friends are just jelly. "I now have to embark on the holy pilgrimage. "to all hot pepper contests in the fire nation. "to conquer them all. "Wish me luck. "Since many people asked no, "it doesn't hurt throughout the whole body. "Nor on the way out.". Wow. So he's got the superpower all the way through. - That is a true power. - That's awesome. - "Unbreakable.". - That's really cool. - What else do you do other than like winning these contests. and getting free t-shirts? What do you do with this power? - Hey, what else do you need? - That's kind of all you need. Just so many restaurants you could go to.
and probably get free stuff. 'cause they all have competitions. - Just me sitting down at Chili's. Hey, I'll eat whatever you want. Just give me free wings. (everyone laughs). - Like, that guy could be on every single wall. at so many restaurants. Halal Guys has their like wall of fire, whatever, where you have to do their challenge. - He just doesn't have to pay for dinner. - [Shayne] Just go do that. - Ever. - Anyways... Well, that's all our stories today. And I cried laughing nonstop. This was amazing. - The guy eating... The guy who eats- - Favorite guy.
- The man who eats. - The man who eats. - These stories, hey, they ate. (everyone laughs). - Yep. - Mari, thanks for being here. - Yeah, thanks for having me. This was great. - Yeah. - So fun. And, Spencer, you're outta your mind. (everyone laughs). As always. - Thanks. - Thank you so much for watching and listening. Before we go, Mari, is there anything you wanna shout out? Anything you're working on or anywhere people can find you? - You can find me @atomicmari as usual.
And I'm, I don't know, I'm just up to a bunch of stuff. Enjoying life. - Hell yeah. - [Shayne] Hell yeah. - Dancing through life. - Sick. Thank you for watching, and we'll see you next Saturday. Bye.
