Critical FAIL Stories | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hello and welcome to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories". I'm Shayne, and today the theme is gaming, a lot of tabletop gaming. We have two people here. who know a little bit about tabletop gaming. We have Spencer and George Primavera joining us. - What's up? - Two game masters. - Gamers. - You guys are professional gamers, quite literally. - On the regular, yeah. - Yeah. Spencer, I mean, I don't know where you do your gaming, but...

- I don't know anymore. - Yeah, but, George, you're over... (George laughs). You're over at Critical Role doing all sorts of fun. - Yeah, yeah, I am one of the co-DMs. for "The Reslayer's Take" on Critical Role. I am the DM for a podcast called "Hero Club". and do all sorts of D&D related stuff. on a podcast called "Total Party Skill". So I'm all up in the D&D right now, yeah. - And if you haven't checked out "Dread", our "Dread" series over at Smosh Games, George is the one who runs all those stories for us. And, man, it's always a blast.

- Those are so fun. - "Dread" is-. - If you haven't checked those out, go check those out. - I think it's the best thing we've done on Smosh Games. - Aw, man. - It's a lot of fun. - Every time it's a blast. - So board games, there's some video game stories in here, but board games really are a catalyst. for a lot of drama, right? Like, that'll put people to the test. We've seen it time and time again. over at Smosh Games, right? I mean, we have a blast, I think we do a great job, but things can get heated. So when we're talking about families, partners playing board games, shit can get real.

- Oh yeah. - We're about to see some stories here. Let's see what happens. Our first story comes from Am I The Asshole. "Am I the asshole. "for not wanting to play a game my girlfriend created?". - Oh no. (everyone laughs). Oh no. - Dude, already. That's a heater. - Oh, this is awesome. - Oh, came coming in hot. - So we have a 27-year-old guy here. He says, "My girlfriend, who's 24, "has been working on a visual novel game as a side project.

"for almost two years and recently finished it. "She wanted me to play it, "but I initially declined since I'm not into visual novels. "or reading long stories. "But after she begged, "I gave it a try and played for a good 15 minutes. "Now I can tell she put in a lot of effort in the writing. "and the art, and it was a good start, "but I just got tired of reading and stopped. "She asked what I thought. "and wanted me to eventually finish it. "and tell her what I thought about the choices. "and the endings, but I told her I had no plans to.

"She looked shocked and asked if it was boring. "I told her no, it's just that I'm just not. "into this type of genre and she knows I'm not into reading, "but asked me to make an exception this time. "since she made it. "I got upset because I think she is being childish. "and wants to blackmail me. "into doing something I don't want. "After I made it clear I wasn't continuing, "she hasn't talked to me since. "I already know that she is talented and smart, "so just because I don't wanna play it. "doesn't mean I don't support her. "Some of my friends agree she's being immature, "but others think I should be more supportive.

"So am I the asshole?". - This is literally how it feels. when you guys aren't into a game that I put on Smosh Games. (everyone laughs). - This board game sucks, dude. - Whenever Angela and Amanda talked during "Resident Evil", I pause the game. I'm like, "So you guys..." - Ignoring the cut scenes. - "I created this.". - You guys aren't into this? - Oh, man, what a loose use of the word blackmail. - No, I was gonna say. When he threw blackmail, I was like, what is that? Like, with what? - You mean asking? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, what the (beep)?

- What was the line he said? He's like, "I'm not gonna put any more time into this.". - He put 15 minutes. - 15 minutes. - Something she's been working on for two years. - She knows I don't like to read. - Babe, you know I don't like reading. (crew laughs). - Reading and artwork? (groans). It's a whole lot, babe. - Babe, you know I don't love engaging. with the things you've created. (everyone laughs). - Right. - Yeah, I think he's like missing, he's clearly missing the entire point of like, oh, this isn't my genre. It's like, that's cool, man. - Who cares? - Yeah, it doesn't really matter. You know, she's been working on this for two years.

- At least commit, if he had said an hour, maybe I might have felt like a little like sliver of like, oh, you gave it the old college try. - 15 minutes is-. - 15 minutes is crazy. - A bowl of cereal is 15 minutes. - She's not even like asking him like to read it. and enjoy it. She's like, "I want your help. "Here's something I'm passionate about, "here's something I'm working on. "Can I get your opinion on this?". And that could be anything. You know, like-. - What does he care about?

- I don't (beep) know what this guy actually likes. - Yeah. - That guy likes Gatorade and bicep day. I don't read. - Sorry, babe, I'm done reading. I gotta go back to watching porn. (everyone laughs). - If anything, the fact that he doesn't like it. means that he would probably have valuable insight. to improve it and make it more broadly applicable. if he actually cared about giving some feedback. - Yeah, like a non... Just a different perspective on it. And he's even admitting, like she's put in a lot of effort.

and it's a good start. I just got tired of reading and stopped. It's like, okay, so you even acknowledge. that it's not like bad. - "I got tired of reading" is such like a... What does that mean? You went like (groans). (Shayne groans). (George groans). My eyes hurt. - Like, revisit it. Like, come back to it. But he's like, "I'm not gonna revisit it.". - Yeah, I'm not going to. - That's fricking wild, man. I also think it's like, it's such a show of like care,

especially like this is his girlfriend, right? You know, like this is his partner. Like, showing interest in someone's interest. is almost more important than anything, right? And so he's just-. - It's like have you ever watched a movie for someone. If it's like, oh, if your partner's like, "Oh, like I want you. "to see this movie with me. "It's like one of my favorite movies.". It's like, okay. - Yeah. - And there's two hours. - Yeah. Right. - Yeah, I'm such a believer in that 'cause there are... I'm not really a believer of like, that's not my genre, so I don't partake in it.

I'm like, anything can be-. - What a close-minded way to approach everything. - Anything can be fun, but I'm like, oh, if something matters to someone, like I'll check it out to understand why you like it. or to learn more about you in the process. He's kind of removed like, he's not thinking about the relationship element of this. He's just thinking about this thing in itself. as if he found it at a store and he's like, "Oh, well I'm not into this.". Like, that's cool. - That's fine. You don't owe like anything to a thing you randomly found, but like, you know, you should give your partner attention.

and try to share their interest in a way that is productive. And I don't know, the whole element of "I'm not gonna revisit it". is so crazy to me. Just do it tomorrow if you're not feeling it today. I think I'm never gonna read that again. I don't know. - You gotta power through those first 15 minutes. The game really opens up after the first 15 minutes. - Yeah. Seriously. - The only reason I like was even like a little apprehensive. about like, maybe this guy's got nothing. is like maybe she laid their relationship bare. in this novel and he was like-.

- Where it's like, yeah, hey, this is like, it's like about our relationship. It's like, well, well, I don't know. That's a whole other can of worms. - That'd be him being uncomfortable with it. - Uncomfortable with it. - This is him being like, "No.". (George groans). - Can't do this anymore. - Yeah, like, this is brutal. Like, if I knew someone and she's like, "Yeah, I've been working on this visual novel for two years, "and I asked my boyfriend if he could read it. "and he spent 15 minutes on it and then said, no, I'm good.". I'd be like, damn. - I know you can do it. - Like, damn, okay. So the bar is there. All right. The verdict is asshole. Comments. "You're the asshole.

"Your girlfriend worked for years on this project. "and you can't be bothered to spend an hour or two. "supporting her by playing it? "You're the immature one here. "Partners do things for each other. "Get off the internet and apologize to her.". 25,000 up votes. - He probably spent like 15 minutes. on this post. - 25,000. (laughs). - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - He wrote this whole post! - He spent more time on this for sure. - Easily more than 15. - Someone said, "You're the asshole. "Relationships require effort. "If you aren't willing to put in the effort. "to support her work and do something for her, "I hope she can find someone who does.". Lastly, someone said, "You're the asshole.

"Why did you ask here? "You realize you have to read the answers, right? "Tell your girlfriend you prefer to read bullshit. "from strangers before her game, "and then come here and tell us how it goes. "We would like reading that.". (everyone laughs). - It sounds like she needs like a sensitive gamer boyfriend. - Yeah. (everyone laughs). - Girls just don't even see us gamers as guys. - Ah, dude. She wants me to read. Like, I don't know, I'm like scared of reading. I don't know.

Have you guys ever read a visual or played a visual novel? I don't think I have. - That's like a choice based visual medium, right, that you kinda like are guided through the story? - It's a choose your own adventure in a video game. - Yeah, with pictures. - Oh, that sounds cool. - That does sound cool. - I've read "Goosebumps" choose your own adventure, so I guess I have. - I mean, it's like, hey, bro, do you enjoy storytelling? - Right. - It's like, bro, fancy a story? (everyone laughs). - Fancy a story? Fancy a tale?

- The closest that I've had that I, I definitely hit this kind of thing where I'm like, "I'm just not in the zone for this". was this game called "Disco Elysium". It's one of the best games ever made, but it's like truly just, it's like, oh, every time your character talks to someone, it's like, you're gonna be reading for like 10 minutes. - Yeah. - Courtney Miller's "Disco Elysium". You're like... (everyone laughs). - But it's like intense stuff. - I don't have five minutes for this. - I was like, "Uh-uh.". - But no, I think that is closest. Or, I mean, what was the game you and Damien played. forever ago? - "Doki Doki Literature Club".

- "Doki Doki Literature Club" is-. - [Shayne] That's a visual novel. - Close, yeah. - And then also there's "Dream Daddy". - Yeah, exactly. - I've not heard of a single one of these so far. - These are like dating sims, so it's like-. - Okay, okay. - "Dream Daddy" is the one where like you're a new dad. in this neighborhood where there's tons of hot dads. (everyone laughs). You're a hot dad talking to other hot dads. - Okay, cool. - It's really cool. (everyone laughs). - I think, yeah, I think dating sims and visual novels. are like often conflated with like-. - Yeah.

- 'Cause yeah, I think there's a lot of elements. that they share. - There's a walking simulator that is kind of a visual novel. that I love called "Firewatch". - Oh, I love "Firewatch". - That feels like maybe a visual novel. - Our sound guy Scott loves "Firewatch" too. I saw his hands pumping in the air. "Firewatch" is incredible. (George kisses). - [George] Yeah. - No, but no, I respect it, but I have not participated too much-. - But I wouldn't play more than 15 minutes. (crew laughs). - I'd probably play a little more. - Otherwise that's blackmail. - Yeah. Otherwise that, yeah, essentially, anytime, yeah. If your partner makes you do something,

I'm like, I'm being blackmailed. - You're committing fraud right now. (everyone laughs). - Legally I shouldn't be talking to you. (everyone laughs). - Today's "Reddit Stories" is brought to you by Zocdoc. Have you ever woken up with a weird symptom, like a tight pain in your neck or a weird rash on your legs. and then immediately Googled it to see what's wrong? We've all gone down that medical rabbit hole, but now it's easy to get the help. and care you really need with Zocdoc. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search. and compare high quality in-network doctors. and click to instantly book an appointment.

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But Zocdoc made it so simple that I finally did it. I was able to just look and find a doctor nearby, and I could find an appointment within that week. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments. and go to zocdoc.com/pitreddit. to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's zocdoc.com/pitreddit. Zocdoc.com/pitreddit. (bright music). Back to the show. Our next story comes from the subreddit DnD Horror Stories. - Oh no.

They're always so bad. - It's like scary campaigns. you can play with your friends. - Yeah. - I wish. - Okay. "DM kills my character for no reason. "This story happened a couple of years ago. "Basically it was me. "and I think three or four other friends. "Typically I would DM and after my campaign fizzled out. "for whatever reason, one of my players wanted to try DMing. "I helped him set up a campaign. "The time comes. "for him to start DMing the campaign I helped him build. "I think we started at level one or two.

"I was playing a Tiefling bard. "The other players were, I think a druid, a barbarian, "and an artificer. "After a couple of sessions, it was going pretty smooth. "We were having a good time. "At one point I had to miss a session. "but was cool with them continuing without me. "The next session I was there. "and I joined back with the party. "before we went into a dungeon. "We went into the dungeon. "and we were going through it like normal, "just some puzzles. "But before our first combat, "the DM decided to tell me that since I was rusty. "after missing a session, "I had disadvantage on every role in combat.

"That annoyed me, but I just went with it. "I had taken some damage, but figured I'd be fine. "because I usually play back line support. "Eventually we approach a big door, "and I decide to enter the room. "and suddenly get attacked by a big bird. "And it takes me down to one hit point. "The rest of the party makes their way in to try to help me, "but DM decides that despite my teammates. "wanting to protect me and attacking the bird, "the DM decides that the bird continues to attack me, "obviously downing me. "I'm a little baffled at that decision, but it's whatever.

"So I just start rolling my saving throws on my turn. "But DM says the bird continues to attack me. "because 'it hates you.'". (everyone laughs). "So it hits me again. "And I don't know if this is a real rule, "but he said that it's an automatic two failed death saves. "I had-". - That's true, but... (everyone laughs). - Oh, that's real? - George is like, "I support the DM.". - If you get hit in melee. and you're making your death saves, that's two failed death saves, but...

- "I had succeeded my first death save, "and I succeeded the next one after the attack, "so I was hoping to hold out for one more round to survive. "But for some reason, this bird takes a legendary action. "despite this not even being a boss, "not meaning to be a tough encounter, "just a creature in a dungeon.". - This is the SpongeBob, the, "I don't know. I guess he just doesn't like you.". (everyone laughs). - "And it kills me. "For this, I would hope understandably, pisses me off. "because there is no reason a DM should fish.

"for a kill like that. "I was just stuck spectating afterward. "and sat there for upward of an hour. "After that session, I was barely invested in my character. "or the story.". - Could've played a visual novel. (everyone laughs). - You could read a visual novel. - You could play four of my girlfriend's visual novels. - "After that session. "I was barely invested in my character or the story. "because the DM set the precedent. "that he could just kill me out of the blue. "and remove my story from the rest of the campaign. "I think the campaign ended fine, "but I just had zero agency for the rest of the campaign.".

- George, can I ask a question? - "It hates you" is so crazy. - He hates you. - How would you justify a bird in a dungeon? - Great question. - It's like, maybe it's like a kiwi. Like a floor dwelling bird. - Hole in... Oh, a floor dwelling bird, so like an ostrich? - Yeah, yeah. I couldn't think of the word. A non-flying bird. - [Emily] Flightless. - Flightless bird. Yes. - Without flight. I don't know, maybe eggs that don't like the sun. - Yeah, that's good.

- That's the best thing I can think of. - There's like burrowing owls. It could be a giant burrowing owl. - An owlbear would be a perfect example. of a cave dwelling bird creature. - So maybe there was set up. and the guy that just didn't clock it. - The funny thing is about that story. is that it's all kind of fair game. except for the first thing, which is insane, where you're just like, "You're rusty as a heroic adventurer.". Disadvantage, if people don't know, if you have disadvantage on every roll, you're not gonna do anything. It's not gonna be a fun game. There's a reason that you only have disadvantage. a little bit of the time.

So that's basically the DM giving away the game there. of like, you're not gonna be able to have fun today. - There's no official rules in D&D of if you miss a session-. - No. - Your character now sucks. - Goodness gracious no. (everyone laughs). The "it hates you" is one of the craziest things. I've ever heard. Could the DM have done everything they did there? Technically, yeah. - Technically, yeah. - Technically. If they hate someone. Yeah, that sounds-. - So that one is not legit.

And then so it takes a legendary action-. - That is a thing too. Technically they used the full might of the DM's toolbox. to be a (beep). - That is so funny. (everyone laughs). - Now I guess-. - Technically they've broken no rules. except for that disadvantage nonsense, but... - So overall fair game, but... - I think-. - 'Cause the verdict on this one on DnD Horror Stories. is, is it a bad DM or not? - Is it a bad DM or not? Yes. - And like it's fair game, but it's shitty DMing.

- Out the gate, the... - To me, it's just, it's so funny. that I can't be mad at this DM where it's like, yeah, it's like, well, you're not feeling good, so like everything sucks. It's like, and also this thing hates you. (everyone laughs). That's really funny. - This bird that just saw you hates you. - What if that was like the bird's nest, like, and he kind of burst through the door-. - Totally. - Like, going first, like it's reckless. - I will say (laughs). Perhaps the better choice there.

is to go after the other threatening party members. - Yeah. - But hey, man, secure that kill if you gotta, I guess. Just maybe you don't give-. - (beep). - Disadvantage to everything. That's basically you're rolling two dice. and taking the lower result every time. - Right. - So you're gonna roll poorly. - That's so funny. - [Shayne] That's incredible. - That like makes me wanna play D&D. There's something about that that's so... Like, I love a game. where it's just you can be like, "(beep) you.". (everyone laughs). - You would like "Paranoia" as the game. - Yeah. No, I-. - That's a great TTRPG.

But yeah, that is cuckoo bananas. - That is amazing. Comments. "Yeah, this DM is an immature child. "If the DM had a problem with you missing a game, "they should have talked with you about it like an adult. "You don't punish people in game for real life issues.". OP said, "Not to mention the session I missed. "was little more than a shopping episode.". - Oh! Then what are we doing here? (everyone laughs). - He bought the bird repellent. - Oh my god. - We learned a lot at Macy's though. (everyone laughs).

Someone said, "Unless you are constantly late or a no-show. "and that was the reason your own campaign fell apart, "then this is seriously egregious. "I wouldn't have even gone back, "just packed my stuff and left right then and there.". Lastly, someone said, "As the bird furiously claws and pecks at you, "it squawks, 'You shouldn't have missed the last session.'". (everyone laughs). - I hate you. - The justification in a storyline of like, why is it attacking me? It's like, it hates you. - Yeah. - Is just really funny. - It's very funny. - Can we promise in the next "Dread".

to have a moment where something-. - And this guy hates you. - A monster attacks someone and they're like, "Why?". It's like, it hates you. - Yeah, we haven't fought enough animals in "Dread". I think that's, yeah, that'll be my-. - I'll take that note. - Yeah. - Got it. Roger that. - Oh my god. Wow. - Oh, that's unbelievable. - Damn. Have you ever experienced like in D&D sessions where, obviously 'cause I don't feel like you would ever do this. as a DM. - Gosh, no. - Have you se have you witnessed this type of behavior? - When it bleed into the game.

- Like, just punishing, like not this extremely. - So this is long enough ago that I think I can say it. There was a character who was role playing, like they had just taken down like a zombie. and they were like, you know, as their character, they're like a monk. They're doing like a little ceremony to like, they feel bad that they killed the zombie. before like looking for a cure or whatever. And the DM didn't like that because they were religious. and viewed it as something that wasn't religious. And so they fireball-. - Satan's game.

- Satan's game. They fireballed that person out of nowhere. and just added enemies. because they saw a ritual they didn't like. And it was the most uncomfortable I've ever been. in a player seat. - Oh my god. - They're like, "And God doesn't like you.". - And God hath deemed... - Sorry, God punished. And I'm God. - Fire cleanses. Yeah. Right. - Wow. - That whole DM as like the arbiter of like the real life. is so crazy and unhealthy. - A religious DM that like, you know,

like infuses the campaign with like God-. - That feels really-. - Or like Christianity is like really funny. - It's extremely funny because wasn't like D&D hated. by the religious community? - It's like a famously-. - [Shayne] They're like, "It's satanist.". - Oh, 100%. Anything with like occult and witchcraft. and stuff like that was immediately, it was like a moral panic, so everybody was just trying to blame stuff to be like, "Look how crazy this game is.". And Gary Gygax was like, "I just want to fight a bear with a owl face.". (everyone laughs). - That was a good Tim impression. Our IT guy.

- Tim? - Our IT guy. - Okay. - What was Tim doing in the '80s? (everyone laughs). Yeah, I also feel like missing games is, I don't play D&D outside of like, we've played here. But I haven't played D&D in my regular life. But hearing about it, I feel like missing games. is like one of the most common things. - Very par for the course. - It's impossible to get a bunch of adults together. on a regular basis. So missing games is normal. - To be expected. And like, unless it's like a broadcast.

and like you're performing it for other people, then those obligations extend a little further. But if it's a personal game, I can't tell you how many times I've been at a game. with like six people that are supposed to show up. and four people show up and that's like great, we can play. - Those are great odds. - Amazing. We can play. You know what I mean? And to punish somebody for not showing up. is not gonna make them show up next time. - Right. - You know? - I also feel like the whole point of it. that I feel like most of the D&D horror stories we've read. is it seems like DMs forget is like,

the point of it is to have fun. - Yes. - So when you're making choices. that are just actually making it all a bummer-. - The DM seat is a seductive seat for an asshole. (everyone laughs). It's like, oh, I can lord over all my friends. Yeah, it can maketh a monster. if you're not trusting everybody around the table. That's why it's like a weird thing when like adults reenter. into like an imagination land and you realize, oh, we can still hurt each other's feelings. (everyone laughs). - [Shayne] Yeah. - This is great.

- Yeah. Wow. - That pretend thing you said to me did hurt my feelings. 'cause you were being a jerk in real life. kind of about that. - Oh man. - Just have grace with your players if you're a DM. That just should be lesson number one, two, and three. - Sure. All right, our next story. So this was an ad on Craigslist. that was reposted onto RPG Horror Stories. - Ooh. That's... That's tough. That's a rough start. - I go to Facebook Marketplace for my D&D adventures. (crew laughs).

- Honestly, this Craigslist ad. could have been made by Spencer. And it reads... (Spencer laughs). "Beautiful priestess needed for D&D.". (everyone laughs). - You gotta round out the party. (everyone laughs). - We need a healer. - We need a healer! - Need a healer. (everyone laughs). - We're fighting some underground owls. - So mind you, this was posted on Craigslist. - "Beautiful priestess" is a terrible, okay. - "Hi. "My group of friends, 30-year-old men, "have a multi-year Dungeons and Dragons adventure going.

"This Sunday, there's a small scene. "where we encounter a beautiful naked priestess. "And I thought it would be fun. "to have an actor play the part. "It would require you to be topless on our virtual Zoom, "so obviously you'd have to be comfortable with that. "Our session starts at 4:00 PM this Sunday.". - Sunday night? - It's like, so is one of you guys getting married or? (everyone laughs). - "The one trick is I don't know exactly. "when we will encounter this priestess, "but it will be at some-".

- She's just camera off just with her shirt off. (everyone laughs). - "The one trick is I don't know exactly. "when we will encounter this priestess, "but it will be at some point. "between 4:00 to 6:00 PM Eastern time. "Ideally you could be available in the timeframe, "and then I can text you the precise time. "to join the Zoom link. "The actual scene won't be more than five minutes, "so it won't be much acting. "I'll provide some guidance on the part beforehand. "Feel free to reply with any questions. "Also, if you could include a picture with your reply,

"that would be helpful. "Thanks." - No. (Shayne laughs). - I've never thought of... The idea of hiring an actor to join in on a Zoom for D&D, it sounds really funny. I would love it, like to hire like some like 70-year-old like guy. - A wisened. - Be like, "Oh, we we're gonna go talk to the Wise Wizard,". and like not even give the actor much beforehand. (Spencer yells). (everyone laughs). But I'm like, "Whatever he says goes.".

(everyone laughs). - Get a Cameo from someone who doesn't know D&D. - (beep), dude. - Like, Boston Rob's gonna tell us where the magic sword is. (everyone laughs). - That's awesome. - That'd be sick as (beep). Yeah, Cameo D&D where it's like, you just have a Cameo up. for like every like NPC. It's like, "Can you ask them that?". It's like, "Give me $100. "and we can get another Cameo from them.". - Oh my god, that's so terrible. - Can I have a crazy opinion?

- Yeah. - I don't think, like... I see nothing wrong with, is she getting paid? - That's the question. - Okay. Okay. Apparently OP was asking $100. - That's not enough. I don't think that's enough. - I think in LA that way might not be enough, but like somewhere else maybe. - Maybe. - But like-. - Hey, if she's getting paid, she needs to be paid. - If you're already like, you know, showing your breasts on the internet, like, you know, it sounds like it could be a fun little side quest, no pun intended, but like-. - I'm thinking as a player who's not expecting that...

- That would be a little confrontational. I might be uncomfortable. - I don't think I... I don't know, that is-. - But if like everyone's in the know, everyone's like consenting, I think it's hilarious. - Man. - And I think it's hilarious to put the ask out there. - Look, Pam from Reno is calling in. (everyone laughs). It's like, priestess, where should we go? You're gonna wanna go... (everyone laughs).

- You will meet three monkeys. - Uncrumples a paper. Find the base of the waterfall. and put your palm upon the gray slate rock. - All right. (everyone laughs). Just imagining her just calling and smoking a cigarette. - I think this is awesome. - Okay. - I think this is like the funniest thing you could do. I mean, look, when people like, 'cause-. - This makes me want to die. (everyone laughs). - If I were actually involved in this,

I wouldn't wanna actually be involved in this. - Right. - Well, it's like, to me it's like, you know, if someone's like, oh, and there's gonna be like a stripper. at this like bachelor party, I'm like, I actually don't wanna go. I don't wanna see this. I don't wanna be any anywhere near this. But if you're like, "Yeah, then we're having someone like call in. "as like the tough...". It's funny. - Right. Right. - Yeah. - There is a major element. of like clearly this is a consenting individual. That's all fine. I wanna be nowhere near this table. - Yeah. - Oh yeah, if I was there, I'd be like, "No thanks.". - No, dude, I'm logging out. - Here's the problem with Zoom though is that like,

I don't trust that these guys aren't gonna. record it. - Screenshot it. - They're gonna record this. - Oh yeah. - And it's like, hey, like come on. That's not worth the $100. - No protections. - That's more. - No, there is a lot of nuance. - There's tons of nuance. But I get what you're saying of like, hey, like if you're paying someone. and they said they're down, like fine. Do I wanna be in that game, is a little different. - Do I wanna be in the game? No. (everyone laughs). It's still funny as (beep). - It's not lasting five minutes. They're gonna be like, "Oh, priestess! "Actually we...". - Wait, join us on our quest.

(everyone laughs). - And the DM's like, "You have to join them.". - We'll see you next week. - I love giving her like, "I'm gonna text you somewhere between 4:00 and 6:00.". It's like the beginning of "Drive", he's like, "I'm gonna give you a five minute window.". - Yeah. - Dude. Okay, comments. - Imagine the hour and 55 minutes of just... - Just at your computer, just no shirt on. Your reflection in the (beep)... (everyone laughs). I'm gonna need a beautiful naked priest hanging dong. - 50 bucks an hour, 50 bucks an hour. (laughs).

God. - Comments. "I'm on the fence with this. "It seems pretty straight. "and upfront about what they're looking for.". - Yeah, it's straight. - "Even if it feels a bit cringey. "I know a couple of extroverted RPG playing friends. "who wouldn't immediately rule this out, "though they'd certainly have questions. "And one would definitely be whether the players. "were all on board with the nudity. "Otherwise I'd say there's enough info. "for it to seem like a legit inquiry. "for a brief cameo from an outsider. "rather than just a group of guys wanting to see some boobs.

"There's a whole internet to see boobs on.". - Low-key yeah. - Someone said, "My DM will occasionally ask us. "to play an NPC for a session or two. "in one of the other campaigns he runs. "It's pretty fun.". (everyone laughs). - Okay. - Just not adding anything to the story. Dude, I played a video game with my friend once. It was pretty fun. - Have you guys ever checked out visual novels? (everyone laughs). That's just hilarious. - That's a really-. - That's some really funny stuff.

- Oh man. Something about that-. - I'm gonna be telling people about that. I'm gonna tell people about this story. - I've heard of people hiring like cosplayers to come on. and do, like they dress up in like a sorcerer outfit. and they do like a little cameo. - [Shayne] That's cool. - And that's, you know, if you got the money to pay somebody to do that, I do think that's cool. Where the Craigslist of it all really-. - Asking anything on Craigslist is crazy. - Craigslist ads are always the most insane shit. you'll ever read. because it requires a level of honesty about stuff. 'cause it's like, okay, I need to put this ask out here.

and I need to be asking specifically what I want. And it's always amazing. It's incredible. - Unfiltered. - Yeah. Truly. - [Emily] There are a lot of people in the comments. being like, "I'd do it.". - No, that's the other thing. It's like, I feel like people are in a space. where it's like people are getting more and more comfortable. where it's like, you know, truly like it's okay. Like, as long as you're okay with it living in perpetuity, you know, which is a whole other... I don't know.

As long as everyone's okay with it. - Yeah, yeah. - I can still laugh. - Totally. - Yeah. - As long as legally I'm allowed to laugh. - Yeah. (laughs). - Yeah, it's still funny if everybody said yes to it. Yeah. - To that one comment, let's be 100% clear. - That's gotta be 80% of the reason. - There is a lot of element at play. of these guys wanna see some boobs. - And it's also like, I mean-. - Like, the character is a sexy priestess. And you have to submit a photo. - To me, the entire thing is so unnecessary. - Yeah. - Like, that's what makes it funny. It's like nothing about this needs to happen.

You're going the extra mile. in like such an unnecessary, stupid way. - That's why I feel like the players. can't possibly know about it 'cause-. - You think the players don't know? - No, there's no chance the DM is checking. with the players being like, "Hey guys, five minutes of this game.". - Can I-. - "Are gonna be crazy. "I need you to-". - And he punishes them if they-. - Can I pitch something that would be incredible, which is you hire two different actors, you pay them both upfront at the start, and you go, "You may or may not be needed.". But it comes to a part where the cast of characters like, okay, there's two doors.

Behind one is a sexy priestess. and behind the other is a naked man who's really gross. (everyone laughs). It's just like, make your choice wisely. - My uncle is waiting. - Uncle Steve, get in here. (everyone laughs). What now? - Whoa! (everyone laughs). - Hey, guys, I'm topless over here! (everyone laughs). Welcome to my grotto. - And the other is Danny DeVito. And then it's kind of a tough choice. It's like, I kind of wanna see Danny DeVito though.

- I kinda wanna see Danny DeVito in this RRP. - Yeah. It's tough. Incredible. Incredible shit. All right, our next story. "Am I the asshole for not giving my coworker my day off. "because I wanna play a video game?". - Ooh. - [Shayne] All right. - Go on. - "Okay, so anyone in the video game world knows. "that next week the new 'Legend of Zelda' game comes out. "after like five plus years of waiting. "I'm a massive fan. "When the release date was revealed, "I immediately requested PTO for that date,

"as I plan on staying home that day. "and enjoying the new game. "What I didn't realize was that the day I asked off for. "is the Friday before Mother's Day. "My company has had to limit the requests off. "for that date now. "as many people have been asking for it off. "I had previously told some of my coworkers I was planning. "on staying home to play the game, "and I guess word got around. "because one of my other coworkers asked me after work. "to give her my PTO so she can travel for Mother's Day. "I explained to her that I requested this day off months ago. "for a specific reason.

"and I really wasn't willing to change it. "She got pretty upset with me, "claiming I care more about video games. "than family and whatnot. "I honestly don't really care. "about her not being able to travel because I feel like-". - I honestly don't care about her. - I honestly don't give a shit about her. "I honestly don't really care. "about her not being able to travel. "because I feel like if this was an important date, "then you would've requested off early like I did. "Anyways, I firmly told her no.". - That's how priorities work. - "Anyways, I firmly told her no, "but she told some of my other coworkers. "and they're all pissed at me.

"and calling me an a-hole for not giving up the date. "Am I the asshole?". Okay. - Oh man. - I think it's another case of it's kind of funny. - Oh yeah, it's definitely funny. - It's also like Mother's Day weekend? - Right, what is this business, I wonder. - Who's traveling on Mother's Day weekend? I'm sorry. Like-. - I guess some people might travel to see their moms. - I'll call my mom. - I haven't taken a plane for Mother's Day. - No, I have not either.

But you can, like, I'll like send an Edible Arrangement. - Whoa. - Whoa. - Yeah, to me-. - How many milligrams? - It's also like, yeah, it's like well, I already took the PTO. I don't know. It just doesn't feel-. - I've never-. - Why is it his responsibility? - Yeah, I don't understand. - This is one of those. where we work in a sphere where it's hard to, like, I understand jobs work differently, but in our job it's not like, oh, someone else is taking PTO so I can't, so I-.

- You have to cover for them. - I'm asking for them to switch it out. The idea of like asking someone to take away their own PTO. to give it to me. - That's crazy. - I just wouldn't ever operate that way. I'd be like, oh, I can't. Like, oh, that's not an option for me. - If you're asking somebody to give you their PTO, you're basically asking them to pay them. - I don't think it's giving the PTO. I think it's just-. - They need to go to work so that you can, 'cause someone needs to be in. - So you can take off. So like can I take PTO so-. - Yeah, instead of you taking, yeah. - It's the equivalent of like, cover my shift,

or like, yeah. - Yeah. Then... Oh man, that is tough, because if I'm in the "Legend of Zelda" guy's seat, that's my time. My work hour, I decide that, right? - PTO is PTO. You can't really like say like, well, my PTO's. because of what I'm doing with my PTO. - Yeah. Maybe that alone is very important. - I deserve it more, 'cause he kinda has the point. He's like, "I took it off months ago.". - Maybe this guy's mom stinks. and he doesn't wanna go spend Mother's Day. and that's his coping. - You could kind of pull the like,

oh, I would need more context for both, 'cause on one hand it's like, you know, what if this woman's mom isn't doing well? - Right. - And then in the other case it's like, hey, what if "Zelda" was the last game I ever played. with my dad? - Yep. - And it's like "Zelda" is really important to me. Like, you can pull those cards all day. It's just like ultimately like who's more worthy of PTO? It's like, look, I wish that they could both. The workers are mad at each other. They should be mad at the system. - Yeah. I mean, of course the system's the ultimate bad guy here. The fact that people can't take time off. to see their families is a bigger issue. But in regards to the situation at hand,

this guy's not an asshole. - No. - He took PTO off it. It's like that's the situation. Sucks for her. Like... - The big thing about like, is like weaponizing the reason for his PTO. is like something that an employer could never do. So a fellow employee should also not, I think. - Yeah. Yeah, he went around telling everyone. - That is-. - And it's like-. - That is his fault. - He gave everyone the ammunition.

- Yeah, right. Exactly. - 'Cause if someone was like, "Oh, like I'm taking the day out to play this video game,". I'm like, "Okay, loser.". - Yeah. I remember-. - You don't tell people you play video games. - Yeah, no. A secret gamer. I've never once divulged. - Nobody knows that Spencer plays video games. - You wouldn't know by looking at me. (everyone laughs). I should've had the shirt... (everyone laughs). I should have that shirt on. It's like, "I paused my game to be here.". (everyone laughs). We need to do cutaway gags on "Reddit Stories".

where it's like, you wouldn't know by looking at me. Then it cuts to Shayne and then it cuts back to me. and I've got the twirly hat on. and "I paused my game to be here" and a big lollipop. (crew laughs). - And a tricycle. - Yeah. (everyone laughs). - When people ask, well, it's like, oh, I'm taking the day off. It's like, why? It's like, you don't want to know. - Yeah. - It's like, saving the princess. (laughs). - Saving the princess. - What if this isn't about "Tears of the Kingdom", this is about like "Link's Awakening" the remake? - Yeah. Then you gotta go to work, man. - It's like, I took this, it's like, bro, you gotta go to work. - This came out early 2023.

So this is "Tears of the Kingdom". Yeah. - And look, I get it. - I get it. - Yeah, dude. Tim took the day off for. "Tears of the Kingdom". - Oh my god. Yeah. - I think a lot of people-. - The guy you were making fun of earlier. (everyone laughs). - Tim, I'm sorry. I don't know you. I'm so sorry. - I remember Courtney and I had a trip. I wouldn't have done anything about this, right, but we had like a big trip planned. - She wanted me to play her visual novel. - I wouldn't do it for five minutes. - But we had a big international trip planned.

And I remember like having the dates set for it. and then being like, "Oh shit. "When does 'Tears of the Kingdom' come out?". And I was like, I'm obviously not gonna change our trip for it. - I'm obviously not gonna change the trip. - I'm obviously not gonna change it, but I was definitely like relieved when I was like, okay, good, the game comes out once we're back home. - I can download it. (everyone laughs). - I was definitely like, "(beep), that's gonna suck if we're out of...". - She's like, "Wow, isn't this monument gorgeous?". Yeah, whatever, fucking, yeah. - Yeah. It's really cool. - Oh, this guy made a bike out of 15 wheels.

(everyone laughs). I could be doing that. - Comments on this. "Not the asshole. "Mother's Day is listed on a calendar every year, "even though the actual date may vary. "Poor planning on their part. "does not equal an emergency on yours. "You planned, you deserve it, "and it doesn't matter why you booked it off. "For what it's worth, "I've booked vacation around video game releases. "and it's amazing. "Enjoy your time off and your game.". Someone else said, "Not the asshole. "Same goes for any other holiday. "I'm child free. My choice. "And people always seem to think. "that means I should be the one working holidays.

"It doesn't matter if the reason you have the day off. "is for a video game, it's your day off. "Enjoy it.". Lastly, someone said, "Not the asshole. "It doesn't matter why you took the PTO, "it was approved and it is yours to take. "This is a management problem, not your problem.". - Agreed. Fix it, management. - Yeah. - I love seeing gamers protect other gamers. - Hell yeah. - Gamers together strong. - Well, if you go to Reddit-. - Four players. (everyone laughs). - If you go to Reddit, you're gonna have gamers protect you. - Yeah. It's like, yeah, my wife was mad I was playing video games. in the delivery room. It's like, bro, loser.

- Okay, our next story. We are back on DnD Horror Stories. (Spencer gasps). "My player fell in love with me.". - [George] Oh no. - "The DM. "But I'm married and one of the players is my husband.". - No, dude. - This happened to Amanda in "Smosh vs. Christmas". (crew laughs). - Yeah. - Wait, wait. - She fell in love with Carol. - Yes. Right. Oh God, what a nightmare. (laughs). - Angela and Amanda were fighting tooth and nail for Carol.

- "I'm typing this on mobile, "so apologies for the formatting. "I've been playing D&D with my husband for five years. "and this is my first campaign DMing. "We are playing with his friend group. "who are Pat, Mary, and Dylan, not real names. "We have been playing for the last three months. "and everything has been going great so far. "The party works well together, "and there is really no issue except Dylan. "Dylan is playing a Half-Orc barbarian. "who fell in love with a Half-Elf named Shelia. "And this has been a progressing storyline.

"For reference, he is not the only one. "who is romancing in NPC, "and the rest of the party has not professed their love. "over text to me. "After the session last night, the group went home, "and Dylan sent me a bunch of texts. "saying that he had noticed tension between us. "and that we can't deny it. "and he is open to taking the next steps. "I am horrified of course, and inform my husband immediately. "because this is his friend. "My husband texts Dylan for a bit, "then calls and berates him for his actions. "Dylan then says that my husband. "is standing in the way of our love,

"and my husband hangs up. "and blocks him on both of our phones. "We discussed next steps and decided to cancel D&D. "for the time being because I am freaked out. "The rest of the group are understanding, "but man, this has been a weird Christmas.". - What? (everyone laughs). - They just "Dieharded" that. where they snuck Christmas at the end. Oh man. - By the way, prom is tomorrow. - Yeah. Wow. - It was the best summer ever. - This was posted on Christmas of last year. - Oh my goodness. - This was posted on r/Christmas.

- [Shayne] R/Christmas. - Yeah, isn't it funny how so many. of these D&D horror stories. are just people like deeply misreading the room? It's just... - It's crazy that like, you know, the vibe of, or like the stereotype with D&D is like, oh, it's like a nerds' game, but it's like, it's a game of reading the room. - Sure. It absolutely is. - And like the DM is like their biggest role, I would say. Well, I mean, I would let you say this. If you wanna say it's about reading the room, I'll let you say it.

- It's about reading the room, gang. - Yeah. - I seriously think it's all about like reading energy. and understanding where people are at. and knowing when to go to people. and when to let them like wait, just in terms of like being entertained, like how much someone's talking. But like, yeah, this is the DM. that the person fell in love with essentially? - Yes. 'Cause she's DMing and this friend of theirs is playing. and he's romancing an NPC, so she's playing the NPC-. - The elf.

- That he's romancing. And so clearly they probably had some sequences together. where they're like-. - Yes. - Professing their love within the game. - I've definitely heard of this happening before, and it is really stupid. It's... (everyone laughs). It's just like if you're showing up to play a game of. Trouble, no one's about to fall in love with the person. who presses the bubble the most. You know what I mean? It's people just-. - You never know. (everyone laughs). - Here on Smosh Games. - Six, six.

Yeah, so it's just when people give like the DM, I think it's like something to do with like mysticizing it. or something like that. Like, when somebody's just like pretending to be this NPC, you're like, "Wow, they're infusing magic into this. "This is all personal to them. "I'm gonna make it personal to me. "Now we have a personal connection. "that's unseen by all the others. "'cause it's just our secret private little moment.". But you're forgetting that there are five other people. in the room. Like, I've got my dice and I'm ready to attack, you know. - I'm ready to attack, just constantly. - Here we go. I'm ready to get these goblins.

- Here we go. And you've got a lady on a Zoom call just waiting to hop in. - Topless. - Waiting. - I was like, wait for the text, wait for the text. (crew laughs). Yeah, I was like, that's who they need. to break this tension up. They need a beautiful princess or a beautiful priestess. - I love how they felt like they had to include the fact. that they canceled D&D the next time. Like, as if that were like, we did it. Unfortunately we had to. - I also like "for the time being.". It's like, TBD. - Maybe. Yeah. Maybe quit for a while. - I'd be like, I'm never playing this again. (crew laughs). - Yeah. Well, he lost his friend,

- Oh my god, yeah. - Dylan. Dylan. - Also insanely like bold to not only like text her. and then be like, "What are our next steps?". - What are our next steps? - And then the husband-. - Texting your crush, "Next steps?". - A development meeting for this relationship. - And then the husband calls and he's like, "You're standing in the way of us.". - Yeah. - It's like, whoa, man. Okay. Comments. "I am so sorry this happened. "It seems that Dylan is not mature enough. "to separate what is being simulated in the RPG. "with real life, which is troubling to say the least.

"I hope you can continue DMing, "but it seems that Dylan needs to leave the game. "Under normal conditions-". - Oh. It seems? - I think he maybe needs to leave. "Under normal conditions, I'd suggest talking to the player. "and working something out. "But I think this is a case. "where you should probably skip that step.". - Thanks. Thanks, Reddit. - "Dylan seems divorced from reality. "In any case, good luck. "I know this is a very strange situation.". - That's not the divorce Dylan wants. - Hey. - It is insane that like Dylan... This is also like, even if he had no other intentions,

but if you are in a D&D group. where it's like the DM is married. to someone else at the table. and you're doing a romance sequence with that person, it's like, this has gotta be at least a little silly. Like, at least make it a silly romance. - It has to be a little silly. Or it just has to be like people. who've known each other for a long time. and there's no fear of they're gonna steal my husband. - Right. - And I think a lot of these issues tend to occur. with people who don't know each other very well. and then they meet through D&D. and they're like, "I feel a part of this group.". And they're like, yeah. - It's like almost like parasocial.

I don't know if that's the right word but like-. - Yeah, there's something like that. It's like, oh man. - Yeah, I'm trying to think of like the word when-. - It's like parasocial with your characters. that aren't real. - Yeah. Yeah, where it's like, you know, if you are being a character. and I fall in love with that character. and the character likes me, I'm like, "Oh, George likes me.". It's like that's almost-. - But Dylan was their friend. Dylan was their friend. - Dylan was their friend. - So it's like he did know these people. OP left a comment saying, "My husband thinks he built a version of me in his head.

"and fell in love with that. "He is definitely not playing with us again. "as he insulted my husband. "and said he wanted to have sex with me. "I just think I need a break-". - Left that part out. - "I just think I need a break until the New Year's.". - In five days. - In five days I'll be good. - Just give me like (laughs). - And the other guy's like, "Ah, I just don't have time to read a visual novel.". - Oh my god. - Someone said, "Unfortunately, this has happened to me more than once. "as a female DM. "It's frustrating, a violation of boundaries, "and really disappointing. "Unfortunately, you will learn to recognize the signs.

"and indications that someone is starting. "to manic pixie dream NPC you and cut it off. "Don't let one bad player shake your confidence as a DM. "The game is for all of us, "and you are entitled to boundaries, safety, and comfort. "while running a game for your players, "just as they're entitled to the same from you.". - Send Dylan down to the dungeon and be like, you come across a bird. - And it hates you, man. - That's so funny. - And it (beep) hates you. - Sorry. This bird (beep) hates you. - Bird hates you. - God. I think it's... It sucks how many women have that exact same story.

when they play D&D and they have like, oh, my first experience was terrible. And it's like... - Yeah. - Good on this group for nixing that guy. and getting him outta here, standing up for the person. who deserves to be. - We hope. - I mean, I hope. I mean, the fact that it was even a thought. scares me a little, but yeah. - Well, we have a mini little update. It was in the comments. She said, "D&D is back on, "and the rest of the players promise. "to not fall in love with me.". So I'm assuming she kicked Dylan out. - Yippee. (crew laughs). Dylan's there, but he's just-.

- The bare minimum! - He's just kind of arms crossed. - Yeah. - He's like, "Whatever.". - I won't fall in love with you anymore. That's awful. I think people need to go outside. (crew laughs). - That's crazy to say as a DM. - Yeah. Right? (everyone laughs). Thousands of games under my belt and I'm like, "More grass.". - Yeah. - [George] I think. - Our next story also comes from DnD Horror Stories. "Our DM went to pee and never returned.". (everyone laughs). - Oof. Scary. - Oh man.

- Common fear. - And that's it. - Hate to see it manifest. - It was a title only post. (everyone laughs). I'm not kidding. - Is that a two sentence horror? - What happened? - It was a one sentence horror story. Comments goes, "Details?". And someone else said, "He went to pee and didn't come back.". (everyone laughs). - It's for sale, DM chair, never sat in. - Did he leave stuff? I have so many questions! He went to pee-. - Have you ever heard of a DM just leaving, just bouncing and-. - No! That's crazy-. - Ghosting everyone at the table. - In any scenario.

- That's pretty funny. - That's like-. - Maybe the DM didn't like 'em. - Maybe. Leading any activity and then leaving in the middle... - Kinda hilarious. - Pretty awesome. It's really funny. If you ever have a game going on April 1st, that's what you should do. - That is good. Yeah. I'll steal that. I'll pee and never return. - Saying you're going to the bathroom then leaving is, that's really funny. (everyone laughs). In the middle of a game, even funnier. - Oh man. - Really funny. - Yeah, I wonder where the stopping point was. - Maybe he's still peeing. Maybe he's in there.

(crew laughs). - [Shayne] Maybe it's part of the lore. - He rolled a nat one on-. - On his penis. (everyone laughs). - (beep). All right, our next story. - God. - Our next story is from RPG Horror Stories. "DM says I can't be a bard.". - Oh. Bad start. - I... I kind of get it. (crew laughs). - Well, yeah, let's wait because maybe this guy's like, "I've committed a lot of various social offenses.

"as a bard in the past, and now I can't do that.". - Someone said, "I came up with a character concept for a bard. "for a campaign I'm in after my character unfortunately died. "by being an idiot. "She had six intelligence. "and thought intimidating a dragon was a good idea. "The idea was that I was a former con artist. "who was cursed to always tell the truth. "as best as I knew it. "So then I became a theater critic. "and have been praised the world over. "for my brutal honesty and blunt reviews.

"DM said no because he didn't like the idea.". (everyone laughs). - I kinda like that though. (laughs). - Because he hates you. "So I made a bard who wrote poetry. "because she read somewhere that poems used to hold magic. "And then one day she gave a performance. "of one of her darker poems and an audience member died. "Believing it to be her fault, "she fled the city and lived a solitary life. "to avoid hurting others with her magic, "who the party then found. "and convinced her she could use her powers for good.

"instead of evil. "DM said no because the idea was cliche.". - It's her "Mystery Men". - Cliche? (crew laughs). Killing someone with a poem is cliche? - Guess so. - What an incredible character concept. - "So I made a bard/sorcerer. "who stole a young girl's voice-". - This is like the fourth character they've come up with. Like, "So I did this.". - "So I made a bard/sorcerer who stole a young girl's voice. "in return for her heart's desire. "The catch,

"when she died, her soul would belong to me. "to use as an eternal slave. "Yeah, I basically made Ursula. "DM said no because it was too OP.". Ursula is pretty OP. - Ursula is pretty OP. - As in octopus. (crew laughs). (everyone laughs). - That was one of those where it's like, I didn't even like, like I'm just nodding that 'cause that was really good. - It was really good. - Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. (laughs). "So I outright asked him if I could play a bard at all. "and he said, 'No, bards are stupid.

"'Pick another class.'". - It's pretty funny. - Thoughts on bards? (everyone laughs). - Bards are great. I mean... I love how sometimes this will be like, the title will be like, ooh, I wonder what the interesting like twist is. and it's like, "DM said I couldn't 'cause (beep) me.". (everyone laughs). Oh my god. - I thought it was gonna be like the person. wanted to like sing everything. - Sure. - And it's like, yeah, no dude. Like, we're trying to chill out and like play a game. - Yeah. It's like, come on, man.

- Bards tend to be like the problematic class. 'cause they're like the high charisma class. So you can like go to an NPC the DM is controlling. and kind of like impose your will on that NPC. by just rolling ridiculously high numbers. or charming, doing like mind control magic and stuff. - [Shayne] Right. - So sometimes DMs have good reasons for like, hey, let's limit our bard shenanigans. - [Shayne] Sure. - But this is not one of those moments. This is... - This is something much funnier. (everyone laughs). - This is something better. - Much better.

- A couple comments. "More like pick another DM, am I right?". - Hey! Wow, you got 'em. - OP said, "Essentially what I'm gonna do. "I love bards. "They're my favorite class.". Someone else said, "DMs who veto PC ideas for being cliche. "always start the party off by meeting in a tavern. "and being tasked to deal with the local goblins. "Always.". - Get 'em. - "Prove me wrong.". - Get 'em. Snatch the wig. Absolutely. - Ooh. - The tea. - Wow. Man. Have you ever had to turn down a character?

- Yeah. - 'Cause if someone pitched something like so-. - Mostly because the name. like was so inappropriate I couldn't say it at the table. (everyone laughs). - Oh my god. - Like, you obviously can't come to the table with that. for every reason that is on this paper. - Yeah, sure. - So yeah. And like the DM should be able to filter what's allowed. at the table, but I don't think not liking it. is like a good enough reason. - That's not a, yeah. - Has there ever been an idea that you've just been like, "I really don't like this,". and you kind of tried to sway them away? Well, yeah, probably. - I don't think I can remember.

Oh, well (chuckles). One of my, yeah. - It can be from here. - He was like, "You wanna name your character Guy Wood?". (everyone laughs). - Go watch "Smosh vs. Christmas". So (beep), so good. I think, yeah, there are definitely like some times. when a player will come in. and it's like my whole character's deal. is all about my phallus, and you gotta be like, hey man, there's gonna be five other people at this table. and I don't think anybody's gonna want to hear your section. of the role play. - Your johnson.

- The adventures of Penis Man. - Yeah. Every time. And like, you know, a certain person. could make that very funny but that person's rare, and I think it's fair to filter that out. - My character is Slur Johnson. (everyone laughs). He's known for two things. - That's getting closer to the first example I mentioned. Yeah. - Wow. - So yeah, you should have a little filter power. - Some boundaries there. Okay. - I think the poem idea is one of like. the most beautiful bards I've ever heard. - I like the Ursula one. I like the idea of a D&D.

where like all the characters are just like Disney villains. - Yeah. Fun. - [Shayne] Super fun. - Yeah. - All right, our last story. - Ooh. - It comes from RPG Horror Stories. They write, "Playing a woman, "I think I got the tiniest taste of real world sexism.". - Whoa. - Okay. - Whoa. - Okay. (crew laughs). - Go on. - Really? - This guy like talking to women now is like-. - I get it. I lived it. - I understand. (crew laughs). Yeah, I know. "I've been playing D&D on and off for 15 years now.

"in multiple campaigns that got to level 20. "But three years ago I did something new, "I played a female character.". (everyone laughs). - Wait, it's fully the scene from "White Lotus". - I did something new. - I'm playing something new. "I played a female character. "We're a five person party, "three men and two women in real life. "In character, it's three women and two men because of me.". - Because of me. - Thanks for clarifying. - Because of woke. - Because of woke. - "As the years have gone by,

"I've started to notice little things here and there. "in how the NPCs treat me. "I'm trying to play this character. "as kind of a take charge type person, "but the NPCs tend to kind of brush me off. "when I feel like they shouldn't. "I'm a powerful sorcerer with a kind of dark reputation, "so I would expect they'd show me some respect, "but often, well, they don't. "And it feels like sometimes certain other PCs. "just get a little more recognition, a little more respect. "for reasons I can't quite put my finger on. "I've brought it up to the DM a couple times.

"and he's always had a reason. "Well, this NPC talked to you like that because of X reason, "or when the barbarian in the group did X. "that really earned the king's respect because of Y reason. "It's like each individual instance had a reason. "that could be valid and no one instance is a big deal. "But it's just that it kept happening. "I've played with this DM before. "and never felt like this before, "so it was kind of baffling to me. "Then some more time went by. "and I started noticing that NPCs would talk like that. "to other female characters too,

"and it was always the male characters. "who seemed to get the respect. "And at first I was like, nah, that's crazy.". (everyone laughs). - No. No. - And at first I was like, sexism doesn't exist though. - It's the children who are wrong. (everyone laughs). - "The DM is an old friend of mine, "and I know he's not sexist or anything, "but once I noticed it, I kept noticing it. "And I didn't say anything. "because, come on, how whiny would it be. "for a straight white dude to complain.

"about low grade fantasy sexism? "Honestly, sometimes I'd notice a little thing. "and be sure it was sexism. "and then the next time I'd be sure I must be imagining it. "Like an NPC might talk to one of the male characters. "before us, or he might give them more respect than us. "I mentioned to one of the other guys. "who I've been friends with since high school. "that I felt like my character. "was getting shortchanged sometimes, "not mentioning sexism as the cause, "and he kind of shrugged it off, so I let it drop. "This Sunday as everyone was leaving, "I found myself alone in the parking lot. "with one of the real life women of the group.

"Yet another NPC had low level disrespected our characters. "in favor of one of the guys in this game, "and it was on my mind. "I said something like, "'Is it just me or does person A and person B,'. "the guys though I didn't say that, "'get just a little bit more respect than we do?'. "She just shrugged and said, 'It's a man's world.'". (everyone laughs). - This is like finding out about racism. from like "Detroit Become Human" or something like that. It's like, whoa, I never thought of it like that. - It's funny how they're like, "Man, this world is sexist,". and I'm like, it's the guy DMing.

It's that guy. It's him. - They're talking about it as if the fantasy world. is like part of it. - Just be how it is. - It's like, yeah, there's nothing we can do about it. - How can we enact change in this fantasy world? Talk to Greg! Tell him to stop. - Greg is the one actively making these decisions every day. - Oh man. - "We talked a little more. "because I wasn't sure she was serious at first, "but she was, and she didn't seem particularly upset. "or bent outta shape about it. "As far as she was concerned, this is just how it goes. "First I felt immediately relieved. "Like I'm not crazy.

"It wasn't all in my head. "Like I said earlier, I didn't bring up sexism to her. "She brought it up first. "And it felt great to have my perceptions validated. "But I've really been dwelling on it since then. "Like, she was so matter of fact about it. "It bothers me that it must happen all the time to women. "and I just don't notice it. "I mean, obviously this is a really small sample size. "The DM whose NPCs act that way. "and the other guy players who don't notice it, "and obviously I don't really understand. "what a woman goes through. "I don't wanna pretend like my little thing here. "is on the same level. "as what real women experience every day. "It's really her reaction that stuck with me.

"The sort of welcome to the club vibe I got. "Honestly, if this is normal for women, "I don't know how they deal with it. "I find it low grade infuriating. "and I only have to deal with it every now and then. "in a fantasy world.". - I think this guy just became a feminist. - Look at that. - He's like, "Whoa guys, we should do something about this.". - D&D, everyone. - Yeah. (everyone laughs). - God. - Good. - This is so funny. - Yeah. Ooh. - Yeah. There's a story I know like this. of something like this happening to someone in real life.

where something like very innocuous, was like, "Oh, whoa, I guess like, you know, people of color. "really like, you know, do go through it sometimes.". It's like, yeah. - Really? - What? - I don't know why that taught it to you, but like, hey, I guess if you learn somehow. - Think about how infuriating it is. for all the women at the table. for all the men to constantly not notice that it's happening. until you have to pretend to be a woman for a little bit. and then you're like, "Something's not right.". - Yeah. - And it's affecting me.

- Oh my god. There's one comment on it. - That was it. (crew laughs). - There's no update. One comment that kind of represents all the comments. in this, "Welcome to the club. "It sucks, but of course if you were to push back. "against all those little slights, "you'd be painted as a huge bitch. "who gets offended at everything. "It's exhausting to navigate, "so you probably can see why a lot of women. "just deal with it. "I don't think your male friends are sexist, "but there's some sexist behaviors. "that are just so normalized that men don't think about it. "Hopefully you can take this experience.

"and be a bit more mindful of your own interactions. "with women in the real world.". - That sums it up. - Well said. - Yeah, absolutely. - Yeah, that's pretty good. - D&D is cool in that it lets you get. outside your perspective sometimes, but that is also a dangerous thing, as you can see with Dylan. - [Shayne] Yeah. - And birds. - Dylan and birds. - And this NPC really doesn't like you. - Yeah. Also-. - He hates you. - About every NPC though. - It'd be funny if he talked to her and he is like, "Does it feel like we get disrespected?".

She's like, "No, all of us are fine. "He just hates you.". - Yeah. (everyone laughs). - He hates you in particular. - That's a you thing. I feel very respected. - Everyone's respected except for you. Oh, man. Well, this has been a blast. - Oh, thank you guys so much for having me on. - That was a lot of fun. - Yeah. - I'm glad we didn't even have to, like that last story, just like that comment was like, oh, that's everything we needed to say. - That's it. Yeah, all the nuance wrapped up. Yeah. - Yeah. George, thank you for joining us. - Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks for allowing me. to talk about nerd shit. - This was great. I can listen to these RPG stories all day.

- Yeah. - I know. They're all so terrible sometimes. - Definitely. - All so terrible sometimes. There are some that are so bad that you're like, thank God that wasn't my introduction. You know what I mean? To this. - I know that our producers went through a lot of stories. that we didn't include. because they're so bad they're not even fun to read. - That is what I, honestly, what I feared the most. - Yeah. - Seeking beautiful princess. Or priestess. Sorry, I keep... - We wanna have a little bit of fun while reading these.

They have to be a little funny. But there's a lot of actual nightmares. But, George, if people wanna see really good storytelling, really good D&D where can they find it? - Oh man. Check out "Hero Club" and "The Reslayer's Take". We take our live recorded D&D sessions. and we mix them down with sound effects and music. and stuff like that and makes it like an audiobook. But it's all actually played around the table, which is really cool. And go check those out, and go check out the "Smosh vs." videos. where we play "Dread" which is a Jenga tower game,

and if you knock the tower over while playing, you die. Lots of fun. And these guys are brilliant "Dread" players. and TTRPGers in general. - We got a good one coming out. - Thank you both for being here. Thank you guys for watching. Let us know what other themes. and subreddits you'd like to see on the show. And we will see you next Saturday. Bye! Seeking beautiful priestess. (everyone laughs).