Cheaters Never Prosper | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hello and welcome to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories". I'm Shayne. And today it's a genre that we love to hate. Cheating. And I'm joined by two people who also hate cheating. - It's disgusting. But I'm here with my wife. - Yes. This is my lover. - [Shayne] Oh. (crew laughs). - I'm for some reason going downward. (everyone laughs). - We have done episodes before on cheating, and it is, it's...

Man, I have to admit, whenever I come across a Reddit story. that has to do with cheating, I'm glued to it. Even though I feel bad. for the people. - It's a shame. - [Tommy] It's a shame. - It is always high stakes. And it sucks how common it is. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I feel like almost everybody goes through some version. of it at some point. - Everybody's gotta get cheat on sometimes. - Yeah. And if not in a relationship, like in high school on a test. - That's great. - Yeah. Okay. - Did you guys not? Like... (everyone laughs).

- Oh no. One of my tests, my friends and I made up like a fake language. and I took the test late. and I wrote all the answers that they got on my arm. And so I went in and they were like, "What's that?". And I'm like, "I don't know.". - That's awesome. - And then I cheated and I got 100. - There reaches a certain point. when it comes to cheating on a test. where it's actually more impressive-. - Absolutely. - The manner in which you cheated. than actually knowing the information. that you're being tested on. - Right. Which is critical thinking. - You made a new language. - That's right. (everyone laughs). - That's more impressive.

than anything you could have learned. - [Arasha] A+. - Thank you. - Yes. - [Shayne] So there you go. - Yeah, that's a bigger life lesson than, I don't know what the (beep) I was learning. And you see, we didn't retain it. - Right. Listen, if they didn't want it, they wouldn't put those desks right next to each other. - That's so correct. - Right. Well, we'll be talking mostly about romantic cheating. - What? - Huh? People do that? - Yes. - Wow. - Apparently a lot. - Disgusting. (Shayne laughs). - Right. So they like write it on their arms? - Are we ready for our first story? - Absolutely. - Okay.

I'm ready. - Here we go. "Am I the asshole for being very upset. "that my wife is helping her friend cheat on her husband?". - Wife, friend is helping, husband. I'm there. (Tommy laughs). - OP is saying that their wife is helping her friend. cheat on her husband. - You lost me again. (Tommy laughs). - So the person, the guy writing this in-. - Yes. - He's like, "My wife is helping her friend cheat on her husband.".

- I'm there. Okay. You know I'm a visual girl. We've been over this. Have to draw it. - "A while ago, "my wife and her friend went on a weekend trip, "which seemed fine. "Turns out the friend didn't really want to go on the trip. "She was meeting a guy, her best friend, her soulmate. "Apparently these two have been messaging each other. "for years. "My wife didn't know this, "but obviously found out about it and told me. "But she just ignored it because it wasn't our business. "We didn't tell the husband. "It was a weird WTF kind of thing. "I do not know the husband at all.

"I barely know this friend. "I was thinking not my circus, not my monkeys. "So here's the thing. "The friend asked my wife to go on another trip. "and that she will pay probably about $3,000. "for the sole purpose of cheating on her husband again. "My wife was gleefully ecstatic about going on a free trip. "She will be the alibi for her friend cheating.". - Oof. - Oh, poppy poopy. (everyone laughs). - "Am I the asshole for being outraged, feeling betrayed,

"feeling that our marriage is a (beep) joke, "and frankly wanting to end it? "If her and the girls make such a farce of marriage. "and help each other out and cover for each other cheating, "what the (beep) is our marriage?". - Oof. - "I am seriously considering telling my wife. "that she can make her own decisions, "but they have consequences. "And when she returns for the (beep) fest cheating weekend, "the locks will be changed. "and the divorce papers will be pinned to the front door.". - Oh. - Yi. - Okay, daddy. - Okay. - I understand where he's coming from.

- Yes. - [Arasha] Yeah. - It's like, would she do this to me. then if she's so on board course. with this happening over here? - Of course. - Right. Like, that's like a virtue that she's clearly not exhibiting. or she's not against her friend not exhibiting that. - Right, right. 'Cause it's one reaction to go, "Oh, she's cheating on him. "That's her business.". - [Arasha] Right. - It's another to be like, "I will go with you on this trip so I can be your alibi-". - Yeah, that's-. - "So you can lie to your husband.". That is-. - Yeah. - A whole new beast. - Yeah, that's where it crosses into bad, bad,

no, no territory. - No, no, no. Not even, though it's enticing, 3K. Not... (everyone laughs). Not for the money. - She's getting paid 3K to do this? - "That she will pay probably about $3,000. "for the sole purpose of cheating on her husband again.". - So the vacation costs $3,000. - So the vacation's free. - Right. - And the wife isn't getting paid? - The wife is not getting paid. - So it's not for 3K. - Then definitely not. (everyone laughs). - You're getting a $3,000 vacation for free. - Right, right, right. - To go with this friend.

- Yeah, it's certainly one thing, I think you're right, of like, in a lot of these cases, I think it is like, not our business. Let me stay out of it 'cause I'm not in that relationship. And oftentimes too, 'cause I am curious about y'all's opinions with this, like when you're friends with a couple. and you find out that one is cheating, like is it your responsibility to come in and tell somebody? And my opinion with that is always so nuanced. because nobody knows that dynamic of the relationship.

And if you come in with this information, and then let's say they still decide to stay together. and get married, like then great, you're at this wedding. and you're like, okay, well now this is very complicated, or maybe I'm not a friend of them anymore. So it's almost like what is the part that you should play. when you know someone else is cheating? - It's totally case by case, I feel like, right? I don't know. I've never been in this position, so I guess I don't know like what my thing would be. - Yeah. - I think it's hard for me to picture.

because I have a hard time imagining any of my friends. cheating on their partners. - Yeah. - I think it would be a situation too. where if a close friend of mine, which it would be shocking to me if they were like, "I'm cheating on my partner,". I think it would be a situation of like, as their friend, I would feel it's important for me to be like, "You need to tell them. "That's my advice to you as your friend.". - Right. - And I don't think she's doing that, obviously, in this case. - No. She's doing the opposite. - It's like, hey, as your friend, that's part of my job as your friend to be like,

you need to do this. - To hold you accountable. Yeah. - And it is a situation of if they're like, "No, I don't care, whatever,". I'd be like, "This changes how I view you.". - You and your morals. - Yes. - Like, you're not who I thought you were. - Absolutely. - Absolutely. - Now this, obviously, we're not talking about that. We're talking about far far past that. - Right. - We're talking about a $3,000 vacation. - And also the dynamic between the wife. and her friend is one thing. It's how the husband feels about it. And he's nervous now. What does this mean? What I do think is this is jumping pretty far past.

what he needs to do first, which is talk to her. - Right. - Right. - And go, "Hey, I have a massive problem with you doing this. "If you do this, like, who are you?". - But that would be like, "Let me talk to her while the car's going 10 miles an hour.". This woman's like 60 on the freeway, and he's like, "Oh, wait. Oh.". So like I kind of understand the like, well, she's doing the most already. It's like maybe too late to talk to her about it, but I don't know when the-. - Yeah. - Timing of it. - It's kind of surprising that like, this feels like something you would know.

about your partner as well, right? Like, to discuss values upfront, and I guess if they hadn't yet talked about, you know, loyalty in friendships and in relationships, this probably is something that's shocking to him. And he's like, "Oh, I didn't realize. "that you don't care about that.". I mean, and if they're married, it's hopefully clear. that they haven't had any infidelity between them. But this is clearly causing him to question like, maybe now that this friend is introduced how easy.

and fun it might be to cheat, she might be like, "Oh, well then maybe I could do something fun like that.". - [Tommy] Exactly. - I could see the wife and friend justifying it. by being like, this friend's husband is shitty or has been ignoring her. Like, that's a situation where I understand. where we don't know what's going on with certain dynamics. I still think this is not how you go about it. - There's a better solution than this. - There's a better solution. - Right. - There's always the like better solution.

even if that is divorce. - Right. - And this is just full on dishonesty here. - Yeah. - And I mean, I think certainly. if I was in this husband's position, I would be feeling the same way. I'd be terrified. - Yeah, yeah. - Right, 100%. - The verdict was not the asshole. Comments. "Not the asshole. "Ask your wife if you were cheating, "would she want people to tell her?". Fair. And the answer's always yes. - Right. - Another comment.

"My friend, you know your wife is happy. "to facilitate cheating and that says a lot about her. "and none of it is good. "If you continue to trust your wife. "would never cheat on you, "then you are thicker than a mattress baguette.". - Mattress baguette? - Now where's that link? - Yeah, show us. Show us the mattress baguette. - So is it a mattress or is it a baguette? - I think it's a baguette that's massive. - Lastly, "Not the asshole. "Divorce her. "If she would assist someone else cheating, "you can bet she would have no problem asking her friend. "to do the same for her.".

I think my question is, what if he talks to her? He goes, "I have a massive problem with this. "Don't do this. "This makes me uncomfortable.". She goes, "You're right. "I'm not gonna do it. "I'm gonna stop.". Is that enough? Because at this point you're already like, oh man, you were so willing and had no problem doing this. Now that you know that I have a problem with it, and you dial it back, is my trust still there? - I feel like it's a couple's counseling moment. where it's like, now you do have to work through some of it, but like her being like, "Oh my god. "Wait, you're right. "I shouldn't.".

Then I'd be like, "Okay, well I'm glad you came to your senses. "Let's figure this out.". - Yeah. - Let's get back to the mattress baguette. - Yeah, no, we're definitely, we're not losing that. We're gonna put a pin right there. - I wish the rest of the comments were just like, "What are you talking about?" - Mattress baguette? - Right. Like, none of this is important. What's that? - Right. - So our producers have Googled mattress baguette. and we've gotten zero hits. - I am obsessed with that. Just coming up with like random similes and metaphors. and just naming it. - Our next episode is called "Mattress Baguette Stories". (everyone laughs).

- And we're coming back. - Is it a mattress? Is it baguette? Is it big? Is it small? Is it made of mattress and a regular baguette? - [Shayne] Yeah. - We have questions that need answers. - We can create this. - We've got this. - We can make this. - This is gonna be a hit. - To answer the question, my initial instinct was to say, "Yes, it's enough.". Because I believe that sometimes we can be just, I mean, we're humans. Like, we're gonna have like faults. and gaps in our awareness. And it can be, I think, a moment of just getting caught up.

with this friend. Like you said, like that already opened up so much more context of like, your best friend is like, "My husband sucks and he's doing all of these things. "X, Y, Z.". I don't even know how far that goes on that spectrum. But she's like, "But I have this really great experience with this guy. "and I really need your help and whatever.". And yes, maybe she could have come to her senses. a little quicker and said something like, "Wait, this feels a little crazy.". Or if there is a problem going on, maybe let's talk about like separating that relationship.

and then we can talk about introducing another man. But perhaps she was getting caught up in that situation. and just being like, "Okay, I got your back.". And maybe it's again fun in some way. And then it just took her husband to be like, "Hey, remember that somebody is getting hurt.". - Right. - And then she is like, "Oh my god, you're so right.". - Yeah. - There's clearly a way to do this that doesn't hurt people. - Yeah, I mean, for me, with every Reddit story, unless it's something really extreme and dangerous,

I'm always like, talk to them. - It's always communication. - Have the conversation first. You know, you, you gave us less than a page of information. and there's always gonna be a ton of comments. saying, "Divorce her.". It's like, well, you're married, like talk. Like, unless everything leading up to this. was completely empty and worthless. - Right. - Have the conversation if you actually trust each other. and decide if you still trust her. - [Arasha] Yeah. - Is there springs in the baguette?

- That's the real question. - Are there carbs? - Is it more of a mattress or more of a baguette"? - That's what I'm stuck on. - Is it edible? The problem is baguette was the last word, which infers that the mattress is the adjective. - That's what I'm saying. - So it must be a baguette. - Baguette. - That is mattress. - That is mattress. - That is ma, so soft. - [Shayne] Yeah. Well... - Or firm. - Or firm. - Memory baguette. - Yes! There's a whole show here. - No, there's not. (everyone laughs). - Let me talk! - No, there isn't.

Our next story comes from Relationship Advice. This is a 34-year-old woman. "My husband, who's 30, said I wasn't attractive enough. "to cheat on him.". Question mark. "My husband said I wasn't attractive enough. "to cheat on him? "My husband is gorgeous, everybody says so. "I consider myself pretty but unremarkable. "My features aren't exactly supermodel material, "but I do the best I can with what God gave me. "I have nice skin thanks to skincare,

"a decent body thanks to the gym, and so on. "But compared to my husband, I might as well be a troll. "Even my own mom thought my husband must be gay. "and in the closet or hiding sketchy things. "because of how much more attractive he is than me. "It's the first thing people notice when we're out. "I've had women flirt with him right in front of me. "and have had two girls I know try to get with him. "behind my back. "I even question why he's with me sometimes. "I'm insecure about it, "but my husband has always said that he loved me. "and thought I was beautiful. "and did not listen to other people. "Yesterday changed everything.

"I bumped into an old boyfriend from college. "We parted on good terms, "and it turns out he's doing very well. "for himself in his career. "I'm looking to change jobs, "and I'm pretty decent at what I do. "We exchanged LinkedIns. "There was nothing inappropriate about our conversation, "and I would have no problem. "if my husband was there to hear it. "My husband started an argument the minute I came home. "He said he read through my LinkedIn message. "and swore my ex was flirting with me. "I said he wasn't. "My husband then made fun of my ex's looks, "and it was some of the cruelest things. "I've ever heard him say. "I told him to stop.

"and that we could talk when he wasn't acting this way. "He asked if I would cheat on him. "if that guy became my coworker. "Then he scoffed and said, "'You're not attractive enough to cheat on me. "'Not enough to keep me.'. "I was speechless. "He then slammed the door to our bedroom. "and locked me out for the night. "I went to sleep on the sofa and woke up tucked into bed. "I can vaguely remember him waking me up. "Today, he was incredibly sweet. "and kissed me before going off to work. "I can still remember the play-by-play of what happened, "but it's like my memory was outside of my body.

"I have literally never heard him. "say something like that ever. "I feel so upset and uncomfortable. "What should I say to him? "How do I just ask him what he was thinking. "and what possessed him to say the things he did. "and if he really meant them?". - Holy (beep). - Ooh, 'kay, - First of all, I feel so horrible for this woman. who has, on paper, like such low self-esteem, either from this incident or from whatever. - A troll?

Like, girl, you got clear skin, banging bod, and somehow you bagged this guy? Like, obviously you're attractive. - Hear me out. The way that this guy reacted to this, I think he is probably cheating on her because he's like, that huge reaction of like, "Oh, well, like (groans)". I don't know, and like, are you projecting? Like, what's this extreme jealousy all of a sudden? - I mean, it's certainly, from my end, it feels like it comes from just pure insecurity. - Oh, absolutely. - Of him like immediately being like,

"Oh well, yeah, you're right. "You're not even attractive enough.". And then he like went to his room, locked the door. Sorry. - Like a little boy. - Like a little man child. And then in the morning is like, "Bye, babe.". - Like, sorry. - Uh-uh. Uh-uh. I don't like it. - Yeah. - My immediate take was as insecure. as she might come across in these first paragraphs. that she writes, it's very clear to me by his reaction. that he's far more insecure. - Absolutely. - And it's an interesting thing that I've noticed, you know, being in LA where there's just the hottest people.

you've ever seen in your entire life, right? And an interesting thing. is that a lot of the most attractive people you know. are the most insecure about their looks. And I had it explained once and it was that, oh, because their entire life they're made. to feel like their looks are kind of everything. Oh, you're so beautiful, you're so attractive. That if at any moment they feel they don't have that, then they have nothing. - Their entire worth is gone. - Their entire worth is in their appearance, whereas anyone who doesn't feel that's the case growing up, they then have worth in every other way. - Exactly.

- But it seems clear to me. that this guy has gotten used to so much attention-. - Absolutely. - That he's actually deeply insecure. as a weird reverse reaction to it. You'd think you hear compliments your whole life, you're gonna think you're the best, which is true, but it also creates this opposite aspect to it. - Yeah, no, that is so fascinating. because that theory that you brought up, like it seems to be the case here, right? Because he kind of brought up the attraction thing.

kind of out of nowhere. - Yeah. - 'Cause it was like these messages. and he was saying that he was flirting and whatever. And then out of nowhere it was like, "Well, yeah, you're not even attractive enough. "to cheat on me." - Yeah. - So it seems like that is the only thing on his mind. is appearance. - Yep. - Yeah. It's true. And it's very much a control tactic to be like, to put her down so she doesn't think she's good enough to. - Absolutely. - Which is perhaps. why he felt like he was a part of this relationship. so that he could feel superior to her.

- True. - Right. I mean, just a devastating... It almost doesn't matter to me, when you say something like that. and then don't apologize to it, it's like, who cares if he's cheating on you? Like, someone who says that to you-. - That's, yeah. - And doesn't apologize-. - Right. - That's not worth sticking around for. - And again, how you kind of behave after that too. Like, you can apologize, but like locking somebody out of the room. and that kind of behavior, it's like you might be able to be like, "Ah, sorry.

"Like my bad. "I was in a different head space or whatever.". But the other person is going to remember that. - Right. - They're not gonna forget how you made them feel. - Right. - Right. And that's always gonna be floating in the background. - Yes. - Yeah. And looks fade, but that piss poor attitude. will stay around, so... - Absolutely. - Fucking got his ass. - It is such a huge red flag. for someone to do something so horrible, say something so horrible, and then a moment, an hour, a day later, pretend like it never happened. - Right. - Right. - It's a huge red flag.

- Yeah. It makes you feel like, did I overreact? - Yes. - Like, as the person who, like if something happens to you, you're like, "Wait, was it maybe not as bad as I thought? "Because now they're acting so chill about it.". Or, yeah, I don't know. - It feels like a form of gaslighting. - Yeah, exactly. - Where it's like, was I not there? Did I make that up? Was I maybe half asleep? Like, did I misinterpret these messages? Makes you question everything that happened for yourself. - Right, especially if you, you know, love someone for a certain amount of time. and you have this trust and stuff,

then you kind of default to, well, you're my partner so I'm gonna, you know, trust in you that you're in the same reality I'm in. - Yes. - Exactly. - It betrays that like safety, that sense of like, I trust you to tell me. when things are real or when I'm off. or when something is off. And now no longer. - It also, it denies what the relationship's supposed to be, which is like a teamwork thing. - Right. - Where it's like, hey, if we have a disagreement, if we're upset at each other, that's our problem together, and I don't get to just move on and leave you there.

- Yes. - We have to both be in it-. - Completely agree. - And figure it out together. And he knows it's his fault, but that's what he's trying to-. - Yeah, he's trying to dismiss it. - Bounce off. - Talk about a mattress baguette. - He's such a mattress baguette, dude. - Seriously. I think we're gonna get something going here. - Yeah, we're gonna make it happen. - This first comment is a doozy. "As a therapist who has worked. "with some couples impacted by infidelity, "I'm going to tell you two things. "One, there is no pretty privilege. "when it comes to infidelity.

"Attractive people get cheated on every day. "Unattractive people cheat every day too. "So your husband's stance that you're not attractive enough. "to cheat on him and that he's safe. "because he's attractive is nonsense. "Two, your husband knows you. "He knows your insecurities. "and he knows what buttons to push. "He knows you struggle with self-confidence. "and he saw that opportunity to poke at your soft spot. "and he went right on ahead and jabbed at it anyway. "Part of marriage is being vulnerable. "with your partner about our insecurities. "And he took that and had zero hesitation to use that.

"against you in an argument. "To me that says a lot about a partner. "The wound he created with his careless words is twofold. "Not only are you questioning the attraction. "between the two of you, "but you're also questioning the ability. "to be vulnerable with your own husband. "about your insecurities going forward.". - Therapist on Reddit. - Yeah. Rock on. - Wow. - That's awesome. - Although when a therapist is on Reddit, I go, "Hmm, can I trust you?". - That 13-year-old really whipped that up. (everyone laughs).

- Right, right. - They're gonna believe that. - That was incredible though. That was really good. - It's incredibly poignant. - [Tommy] Yeah. - Someone else commented, "Mask slipped.". Lastly, someone said, "No man, who truly loves and cares for you. "would say something like that to you, "especially over something like that. "He was jealous, which can be understandable, "but took absolutely zero time to listen to your side. "or even let you give any further explanation.". I think, you know, it's so hard to admit. and it's a scary thing to admit,

but I think in a relationship, especially if you're married, you just have to have that trust. and comfortability to be honest. if you're feeling any sort of insecurity or jealousy. - [Arasha] Yeah. - That those feelings are fine. It's how you handle them that's the problem. - Totally. - Absolutely. - And it's like, "Oh, should I go with this job?". And if he was just like, "I feel weird 'cause he was your ex. "And I know that it's fine.". And then she would probably have responded with, "Oh dude, like don't worry.". - Don't worry.

- We can talk about this. - Yeah. Nobody hooks up over LinkedIn. - But instead he went right to that. - Right. - Yeah. - Oof. - Yeah. - Big oof. - That's a bummer too because I was hoping, like when I first was listening to the story, I was like, oh, it seems like obviously he thinks she's very beautiful. He is very attracted to her. - He's married to her. - Right. But it's clear that it's actually just a power dynamic. and he wants it that way. to where he feels more attractive than her. - Right. It'd be interesting to see them in person too.

because this is her self assessment. - Yeah. - And yes, she's talking about examples with her husband, but it's just interesting. 'cause there are plenty of people who just, their self image is so different from reality. - Right. - That you don't really know what's going on. - So we should comment. As a therapist, send pic. (everyone laughs). - As a therapist. - As a therapist, comma, send pic. - Send pic. (everyone laughs). - Our next story comes from Relationship Advice. 28-year-old woman writes, "My husband, who's 31, thinks I'm cheating.

"because we went through a box of condoms. "How do I bring it up without sounding defensive? "My husband and I are both pretty low libido. "We aim for intimacy maybe once or twice a week on average. "Because of that, we don't go through condoms very fast, "or at least I thought that was the case. "Recently, I initiated and when I reached for an empty box, "I told him we were out. "and would have to wait until tomorrow. "He got all confused and said, "'How did we already go through a whole box?'.

"I kind of laughed it off at first, "but then he seemed genuinely upset, "saying the math doesn't add up. "He pretty much implied that I must be cheating. "because we couldn't have gone through them all. "with just the two of us. "Now I'm the one upset. "I have never cheated and would never do that. "And it hurts that he'd even go there. "I thought our pace was pretty normal, "but apparently he's convinced something isn't right. "I even offered to go over the timing with him. "to show that we've just used them as expected, "but it's clear he's still doubting me. "I get that maybe he's feeling insecure.

"or there's something else going on, "but I don't even know how to start unpacking that with him. "when I feel like my loyalty is already on trial here. "Has anyone else dealt with something this weird? "How do I talk to him without sounding. "like I'm projecting/defensive/affirming his doubts?". - What were you calculating? - How many months-. - It's been? - We would use up all those condoms. I think it would be six months worth of time. for two condoms a week. Four weeks in a month. - I mean-. - 50 condoms. - That's implying that it's one condom per session,

if you know what I mean. - No way. Maybe he's got six (beep). - He's busting them out. (everyone laughs). He's putting them on his nipples. (everyone laughs). - Blowing them up, making a balloon. - He's putting it over his head and blowing it up. (everyone laughs). - And then he's like, "I never did that.". - This is an insane reaction. - No. - It sounds like my mans is bad at math. - Right. There's so many things that are insane with it, but we simply have to talk about why she declared that. as low libido. - Twice a week is awesome.

- Like, what's medium then? - Once or twice a week. - I'm celibate, I guess. Holy shit. - That makes me wonder if her husband. is like stating that to her. Like, "Oh, we just never have sex. "We're low libido 'cause we only have it twice a week.". - God. - Yeah. - He's forgetting how many (beep) he's got. (everyone laughs). - His mattress baguette, you know? (everyone laughs). - Yes. - Yeah, unfortunately, what if he's dumb?

- That's what I'm saying. - I think that that's what it is. - What if if he's dumb? Which is fine. - That's fine. You can be dumb. - But you can't respond like this. - No, no. He's toxic dumb. - It's also disrespectful to her. to think like if she's cheating on him, that she's just gonna like use the same condoms. - Right. The house condoms? - Yeah. - That they keep in a big bowl? (everyone laughs). In the center of the room on the floor? - I'll have the zinfandel and can I get the house condom?

(everyone laughs). - It's a blend. Is that okay? - Yeah, that'll be fine. - He's like, "Babe, meet me at this hotel.". And she's like, "One sec, I gotta go to the bowl.". Scoop. - I don't know if this applies necessarily here, but I actually think sometimes the most suspicious thing. is when someone jumps to cheating. as an assumption right away. And I'm like, why is that your first assumption? - Right. That's what I meant with that last story is like, why did you go right there immediately?

- And I do think it's a common thing, you know, with cheaters to be suspicious of it. - Yeah. - And I don't know. That's interesting. - Yeah. - I don't know if this just happened like last night. and she's writing about it. or if this has been an ongoing thing. It depends on how long he like doesn't let this go. - Yeah. That's a wild assumption to draw. just because you ran out of condoms.

- Yeah. - Like, it feels like there has to be something deeper. that he is upset about. or like could it be that he has been suspecting. that she's cheating and he's choosing. to relay it through it? - Use this as the route. Yeah. - Yeah... I'm gonna be a little bit of a conspiracy theorist here. Little bit of a Reddit conspiracy theorist. - [Arasha] Please. - I don't love how confidently she was like, "Yeah, we're low libido. "We only have sex once or twice a week.".

Followed by his like immediate suspicion, has me wondering if he's like, "Yeah, we barely have sex. "We only have sex once or twice a week.". - [Arasha] Yeah. - And he's also suspicious this quickly. I'm not gonna say this 'cause I only have this story, but this is like kind of cheater behavior-. - Right. - Some way. Comments. "Once or twice a week sure doesn't sound like low libido. "If you hit twice a week frequently, "you are easily above the average.". - Thank God. - "He needs to explain himself. "as to why he is doubting your loyalty. "And I would tell him that straight up.

"Less worrying about how you come across, he insulted you, "put a big mark on your marriage, he needs to answer for it. "Not you.". Someone else said, "Instead of defending yourself, refocus on the fact. "that if your husband believes you are cheating on him, "then there is something deeply wrong with your marriage.". - Right. - "It's not about trying to convince him. "that you're faithful. "It's about him making the accusation.". - Yeah. - Lastly, someone said, "The one who is accusing the other of cheating. "is usually the cheater themselves, "at least usually on these Reddit stories. "Careful, OP, he might be projecting. "In fact, if he persists in accusing you,

"consider turning it around onto him, "especially since he refused. "to go over the timelines with you.". - Ooh. - Yeah, there's no update on this, but I'm highly suspicious of this guy. - Yeah. I don't like it. - Based on this info. - Right. - Okay, we have a... The OP responded to a comment, and I think this gives me all the context I was looking for. She wrote, "I'm going to start marking the calendar. "on the days that we do have sex. "I hate to have to track it,

"but he does have a tendency to pester me after three days. "and tell me it's been a while. "And I have to remind him that it really hasn't been.". I knew it. No. He has convinced her that they're low libido. - Yeah, no. And pester too? Uh-uh. Like, clearly if there's an issue, there's another way to navigate that but not being like... - Hey. Bing bong. - Hey. Me. - I hope I'm wrong, but I guarantee you if she does find out. that he's cheating on her, he'd be like,

"Well, you never have sex with me.". - Absolutely. Absolutely. (Arasha gasps). - Yeah. - That's what I think is going on. Mm. - Mm. Why I oughta. - Why I oughta. - Why I oughta. All right, next story. This comes from Relationship Advice. - What was that? - A 40-year-old man wrote this. (Arasha gasps). "I started to cheat on my wife, who's 38, "but stopped halfway through. "Do I still tell her?".

- What does that mean? - No. - I stopped halfway through. I only did a little-. - Halfway through. - It doesn't count. - I only did a little cheating. - Right. - "My wife and I have a great relationship.". - And freeze. - Cool. (everyone laughs). - "My wife and I have a great relationship. "I can't say I have any real complaints. "We have been together for five years, "married for two of those, "and up until now, I would have said I would never stray.

"I was away for work last week. "And while I was in the hotel, a young woman, 21, "sat next to me and began to flirt with me. "I was extremely flattered by the attention. "I have to admit, it was a real ego boost to be flirted with. "by someone so young. "as I've started to get that middle age dad bod. "and have been feeling like I'm losing my looks a bit. "After a bit of talking, "the woman invited herself back up to my hotel room. "where we began to have sex.". - Oh. - "For me, it was all about the thrill of being desired. "by someone other than my wife,

"especially by a very young woman. "I was slightly drunk, "and I figured I'll probably never get the opportunity. "to sleep with a 21-year-old again.". - Ew. - "But the thrill wore off very quickly. "as I realized that I wasn't enjoying myself. "This girl was not good in bed. "She basically just laid there and star fished. "Sometimes she would pull herself. "into what she thought was a sexy pose, but that was it. "She didn't seem interested in me at all. "I might as well have been a human dildo. "because she seemed more interested in herself. "and how sexy she thought she was.

"Sex with my wife has always been amazing. "When I'm with my wife, she's all over me, talking to me, "and telling me how hot I am, "grabbing me, touching me, getting on top, and so on. "I feel like the hottest guy in the world. "when I'm in bed with my wife. "With this girl, I felt like I could leave the room. "and she might not even notice, let alone care. "She seemed like she just wanted the ego boost. "of a guy finding her attractive. "I couldn't stay aroused. "and I stopped about 10 minutes into it. "and asked her to leave, which she did. "I took a shower and then called my wife to hear her voice.

"Now I'm back home, "and so far I haven't told my wife about any of it. "There's a guilty part of me that says I should. "because she deserves to know. "But another part of me says, "why should I torpedo our happy marriage. "and cause her pain for something that I didn't even enjoy. "and will never do again? "All it did was prove to me. "that I want my wife more than anyone else. "I wanna do the right thing, "but I genuinely don't know what the right thing. "to do is here. "I know that I will never, ever stray again.

"Should I tell her or keep it to myself?". - Okay, you already torpedoed. You already torpedoed by doing this. Also, she invited herself up to your room? - Uh-uh. - I believe you invited her to your room, sir. - Sir. Too late! It's already done. - I'm going up to your hotel room. Hmm, I don't know how I'm gonna feel about this. (everyone laughs). - Uh-oh. - I hope I say okay to that. - He's also framing this being like,

"Well, I stopped halfway.". And it's like, not because you were guilty, but because she was bad. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Right. - She was bad in bed, so you stopped and then you were like, "Wait...". - I guess sex with my wife's pretty cool. - Which all the wonderful things you're listing. about your wife is not gonna make anybody feel bad. for you, king. - No. - Like, I am sure these comments are tearing him a new one, being like, "You fumbled, you lost your wife, you had it, "and it's your fault for not recognizing that.".

You don't have to go have sex with somebody else to be like, "Oh my god, wait, I love my wife.". (everyone laughs). - So true. - Wait a minute. - I cannot. I cannot believe this man wrote those words. Like, that's baffling. - Unbelievable. - Halfway through he's there, he's just like, "I understand now.". - It all makes sense. - Halfway through, he's got a 20 minute time limit. - Yeah. - Yeah.

- God. - He literally knew. He was like, "That was exactly.". - That was halfway. He's like, "And... "I think I'm done.". - It's quite clear-. - But it was also not halfway. That was... - You're in... Halfway would be like, "I took my shirt off,". and then you're like, "I don't know.". - I was gonna say like, I thought it could have maybe just ended. with the flirtation downstairs. of like being in the hotel room and she was flirting. and him being like, "Oh, well, yeah, you know, you're attractive too. "I'm interested," like whatever. And then being like, "Wait, what am I doing?

"I'm married.". And stopping there, which even in that case is wrong. Like, that is a whole nother case of emotional cheating. But he literally went upstairs. and started having sex with her. There's no halfway. - The second he's engaging with her in any sort of real way, but especially the second that they are walking. to the hotel room is for me, it almost doesn't matter past that. - Right. The decision was made. - [Shayne] The decision that you made.

- Yep. - And he could have stopped it there, and it still is like, you need to absolutely. have a massive conversation with your wife. - Right. - And it probably is gonna be severe and suck. He's talking about it like, "Oh, why be honest with her? "That'll torpedo it.". It's like you torpedoed it. - You already torpedoed. - It's too late. - You already torpedoed it. I think it's gonna be, there is less of a chance if you don't talk to her. I can't say it would be for this situation, but in the limited knowledge that I have on the research.

and stuff is that what tends to happen when someone cheats, and especially with affairs, but it's like, it actually weirdly causes resentment. in the cheater 'cause like their partner doesn't know, and it creates this disconnect for them. And it's this rift that's gonna grow between the two of you. It's impossible to really move on from. and be in any sort of real relationship. - No. - It's so disrespectful to her. How he's even contemplating not telling her is-.

- Is another sign. - Is a whole other thing. - Yeah. - This is awful. - That guilt is gonna grow inside of him. like a little gross little tumor thing. - Or the lack, or... Or it will be that issue where, and it's this weird thing. I'm gonna butcher this, but in psychology, doing a bad thing can actually make you worse. because your brain then has to justify it.

- Right. - So then your brain morphs to "that was okay for me to do". and now that's where you're at. And it's like these things grow in ourselves. It's why you kind of have to, you do have to acknowledge and treat things in your own head. to mend it almost like it is a wound. that's inside of your own self, like a moral wound. And you kind of have to be like, "Wait, that's wrong. "I have to acknowledge that and work on that.". - Right. - I think it's clear to say. that this guy is only thinking about himself, not just in the cheating on his wife,

but that he considers sex like incomplete. or not full the way because he didn't finish. - Right. - Right. So then it's not-. - It's entirely an act for himself. - Right. - A lot of bad signs. - Yeah. Yeah. - Let's see what these comments say. - Oh, I'm excited. - This will help. - "It sounds like you only regret having sex. "with this other woman because she was bad in bed. "If this 21-year-old was incredible in bed. "and better than your wife in bed, "would you have stopped in the middle?".

Someone else said, "You didn't start to cheat, you cheated. "Hard stop. "You worded it this way to make yourself not sound bad. "Let me say it again. You cheated. "Don't forget that you said you didn't enjoy it. "because you felt she wasn't that into it. "Would you have felt bad and still stopped. "if you thought she was great in bed? "Again, you cheated.". Lastly, someone said, "You didn't stop. "because you felt bad for cheating on your wife. "You stopped because you were disappointed in the sex. "I think that says a lot. "If she had been good in bed, you likely would've done it. "with no second thought. "You didn't start to cheat on your wife.

"You cheated on your wife. "She deserves to know. "Don't act like you're doing her a favor. "by not causing her pain. "Tell her. You're delusional.". - Incredible. - Yep. 10 outta 10. - 10 outta 10. Now that's the Reddit therapist. - Yes. All of them. - Update. - No! - Oh. I forgot that those exist. (everyone laughs). I can't wait. - Oh my god. - Here we go. "I really took a beating from Reddit. "when I made my first post, "so maybe some of you will be happy to read this update.

"Maybe not. "I was still not sure whether to tell my wife what happened. "or not after making the post. "This is not because I'm selfish like some of you said, "but because I was struggling to find the logic. "in telling her something that would hurt her. "when she didn't need to know. "because it was never going to happen again. "But I did also take on board what others said. "about how if it was them, they would want to know, "and to some point I agreed with them about that. "It didn't end up mattering. "because my wife realized something was up a few days. "after I got back from my work trip.".

As it happens. - As it goes. - Yeah. This guy doesn't exactly scream sly. - The people who believe. that they're gonna get away with shit, you are either being able to get away with it, I think is worse. - Then you're even more-. - What does it say about you? - [Tommy] Right. - Or two, you're not gonna get away with it. - No. - Right. This guy needs to be bonked in the head. with a certain kind of baguette. - Right. (laughs). - "My wife realized something was up after a few days. "after I got back from my work trip. "She brought up how I'd been very quiet. "and seemed off ever since getting back.

"And she looked and sounded so worried about me. "that I decided in the moment to tell her. "I didn't want us to have any secrets from each other. "I told her everything. "She didn't believe me at first. "She believed I'd started to sleep with the other woman, "but not that I had stopped or that the sex was bad. "I showed her the Reddit post I made, "so she could see I wasn't just painting her. "a flattering story to try and get off the hook. "She started to cry while reading it. "and then said the sentence. "that has been going around and around my head 24/7.

"since then, 'I loved you so much.'. "Loved, past tense. "I asked if she could really. "just fall out of love so quickly. "And she said yes. "In the space of a few minutes, "I had gone from the love of her life. "and the man she wanted to grow old with. "to just another sad man having a midlife crisis. "We talked for most of the night, but she wouldn't budge. "She turned down my offer of marriage counseling. "or counseling for just myself. "I suggested we take a short week's break. "so she can think about things, but her mind is made up.

"We are filing for divorce, "and in the meantime I am sleeping in our spare room. "so she can remain in our marital bed. "This is not how I wanted any of this to go. "She's without a doubt the woman I love. "and the woman I will always love. "And if I could go back in time, "I would lock myself in my hotel room. "for the entire work trip. "and only come out for the conference. "I hold hope that she might one day. "change her mind all the same. "Our connection is too strong to be destroyed. "by 30 minutes of poor decision making.". - It's a little more than that. - It's a little more than that, yeah.

- It's not ordering a steak too rare. - I... - Oh God, that was so stupid! - No, I liked it. I don't want to, but like, it feels like this could perhaps. just genuinely be like somebody who is actually, again, just very unaware who is, again, just like... Just stupid. Just like somebody. who maybe doesn't understand relationship dynamics.

- [Tommy] Yeah, the weight of that. - Or commitment. Like, I'm not saying that that denies any. of everything we've said, and I think that the wife is completely in the right, but like, I mean, even the ridiculousness of him being like, "No, no, no, honey, look, I made it public. "and showed everybody.". - Right. That's crazy. - And she's like, "You're on Reddit?". - Right. - Right. I don't love you anymore 'cause of that. - You're a Redditor. - It's just like, okay, so there has to be something. where he's just actually not getting that.

- Which doesn't help in his promise. that he's never gonna do this again. - Totally. Totally. - Right. - I hear what you're saying. and the tough thing is that this is a post written by him. - Yeah. - And it's tough to know. because he's in the after phase of having done this, in the phase where I think he is trying to justify it to us. as much as he is his wife. So it makes me question the legitimacy of all these things. - Right. Yeah. - What actually did happen between him.

and this woman and then the hotel room, it's hard to know. And the problem is his wife is now in a situation of like, "I thought I knew you and I don't.". - Yeah. - And that's really tough. And some people I think immediately know like, "Oh, I know myself enough that this is done.". - [Tommy] Yeah. There's no redeeming. - She thought she was married to someone. who would never do this to her. And she found out, "Oh, I actually don't know you. "because that's who I thought you were. "and now it's not the case.".

- So tragic. - Yeah. It's one of those areas where like cheating. is such a weird sphere. where it's like you're not a murderer, but as far as a relationship goes, like-. - You've murdered the relationship. - Like, it's as bad as it can get. before becoming full on crime territory. - Yeah. - To me it's one of those situations where I'm like, this is the commitment part of it where, you know, yeah, in our life, we fluctuate, we do all sorts of things, we make mistakes, whatever. But I think it's a situation to me where I'm like,

this is an easy promise to make to someone and to hold. of just like, look, man, this is a hard line thing. Just don't do this. And I think the problem is, you know, they're 40. I wonder how long they've been married, you know. It could be many years. It could be they've been married for 15 years, so they made that promise 15 years ago. and they go, "Yeah, for sure, we're never going to.". - I think it was five years. Is that that a different story? Maybe I'm remembering from a different-. - Have they been married for about five years? For five years. They've been married for five years. - Okay. Yeah.

- And I don't know how long they've been together, but, you know, I think some people, they get into some situations where they go, "Well, I'm in a situation where I've been feeling bad. "about myself and we haven't been talking, whatever.". And they justify it. And to me I'm just like, it's one of those where it's like, just make it a rule for yourself. - Absolutely. - Because it will destroy it. No matter what, it's gonna be a bad outcome. Just no matter how right it might feel in the moment, just say no. - [Tommy] Right.

- And it's important I think too to establish that. for yourself, right? - Absolutely. - Where is it in terms of your value? How much could you potentially forgive a partner. if that happened to you? And this woman seems pretty clear. in at least following her heart in the moment of being like, "I know how I feel now.". It's such an interesting thing, you're right. And it's such a case by case basis. because I know like a lot of the times too. in situations like substances can get involved too. - Right. - And that is often an excuse of like, "Oh, my thinking was impaired.".

And it's like, well-. - It's such a shitty excuse though. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And it's just like, well, but yeah, I agree. I don't think I would accept that, but like in this situation, it's like the hardest that you could make this is like, you know, he realizes it right away. He does go and tell his wife. He fully apologizes and is like, "I don't know what I was thinking and I was out of my mind.". And then it's like, wow, what do I do? You know? Like, it really is just like an individual thing. that you have to self-reflect. and understand where you feel on it,

and sometimes you don't understand until it happens to you, which is heartbreaking. - Yeah. - It's a good thing that she, you know, got out of that. 'cause he clearly is very much creating a narrative. for himself that, yeah, I feel like she doesn't know him anymore, so I'm glad she's free of that. - Yeah. Yeah. To have someone tell you that they cheated on you. and try to follow it up with any sort of excuse. or justification... I think it would've been over either way,

but it makes me wonder had he not followed it up. with all the excuses and justification, if it would've been different at all. Probably not. But it's certainly not what you want to hear. - No. - Right. - This is such an unreliable narrator-. - Absolutely. - Right now. - Made me want to choke. - My inclination based on the wife's reaction, I think this is all many degrees worse. than what we're getting. - Absolutely. - All right, it's time for our final story.

and I've been hearing about this one all day. from our producers. - No. - Yay! - I'm so excited. (Shayne laughs). - [Emily] Have fun. - Oh my god. Oh my god. - This was posted on the Two Hot Takes subreddit. Shout out to our friends over at Two Hot Takes. - Morgy. - Here we go. "Did he cheat or did I catch an STD from a koala?". ♪ Absolutely ♪. Now this is "Reading Reddit Stories" with Smosh. - Yes.

- This is what we're about. This is a 27-year-old woman. "My husband, who's 28, and I have been together. "for five years after being friends. "for most of my teenage years. "We have two sons, and this took place in March of 2020. "when I was three months pregnant with my second child. "I had gone to my 13 week scan follow up. "after the ultrasound alerted something wasn't right. "I fully expected the worst, "but my GP just said they could see something on the scans. "with my fallopian tubes. "Nothing was wrong with the baby. "and wanted to get bloods and swabs done. "When the results came back, "my GP called me to come in urgently.

"That's when she showed me. "that my tests had returned positive for chlamydia. "I was shocked, "and my GP knew I had been with my husband for years. "She was my doctor all the way back. "when my first son was born. "She knew all of our history. "She straight up asked me if our relationship was monogamous. "and I of course said yes. "She gave me the rundown of treatments and scripts, "telling me that my husband would need. "to come be tested as well to confirm. "before he too would likely need treatment, "all with a look of pity. "She was thinking it, I was thinking it. "My partner had cheated on me and given me an STD.

"I'm furious and heartbroken, "but I go home and take a hot shower, "scrubbing myself clean. "Then I sit down in our home, "our family photo hung on the wall mocking me, and call him. "He is at work, and I'm crying on the phone explaining. "that I've just been to the doctors. "and gotten results that I'm positive for chlamydia. "And how could you do this, you bastard? "All the works. "I hang up and he is calling me over and over, "but I'm trying to calm down. "as I have to collect our son from daycare. "and still be put together as a mother somehow. "I ignore his calls and go about my day, utterly crushed.

"I'm giving our son dinner when he comes home. "He comes into the house and sets his stuff down loudly. "and throws his keys at the wall. "He sees that I've got our son, "so he just walks into the bedroom and slams the door. "and I hear the shower run. "I'm confused and even more hurt. "because I don't know what I was expecting, "but this wasn't it. "I finished feeding our son and bed routine, "then settle him to sleep. "It's about 8:00 PM by now, and I'm exhausted, "but I go to the room to talk to my husband. "and he's sitting on the bed holding his head. "in his hands, crying.

"I walk over to him and say, "'I don't know how you could do this to me and our family, "'but you've given me an STD and you also need to get tested. "'and take this medication.'. "He looks at me, eyes red raw yelling. "that I'm a sick and twisted person for cheating on him, "getting an STD, and then blaming him for it. "I have never cheated and I hate cheating. "It's a disgusting act to do to someone you love. "But he is adamant that he has also never strayed. "and our argument ends with us waking up our son, "so I go to settle him. "When I came out, he had packed a bag and was leaving.

"He said he was going to stay with his parents for a bit. "He left. I cried all night. "The next few weeks were hell. "He tested positive, obviously. "Both of us accusing each other. "It got to the point that I asked if he wanted to separate. "because I didn't see how this could be resolved. "since neither of us would own up. "He said he would tell me the answer. "if the pregnancy I was carrying truly was his. "after a paternity test. "We went and got the tests, and of course it was his child. "We went to therapy, which never really solved anything. "He eventually moved back in.

"All of our history combined with knowing. "that at the end of the day I loved this man. "and didn't want a broken family. "was a big part of why I eventually decided to just accept. "that he cheated and wouldn't own up to it. "We just moved on with life. "I loved him, "and a part of me thought him admitting it would be worse. "I'd want to know names, faces, details, and ugh. "As more time went by, I became okay with leaving it. "So it's more than two and a half years later now. "and Adam is scrolling through TikTok. "when this reel with Robert Irwin comes on. "He was talking about how the biggest threat.

"to koala populations is chlamydia. "I swear if a light bulb appeared in his head, "it would've shown out of his ears. "because I saw him start to piece things together. "He now has come to the conclusion. "that he thinks he did give me chlamydia, "but not through cheating. "Back in mid late 2019, "there were huge bush fires in Queensland.". OP lives in Australia. "In September, "Adam and I attended the Bohemian Beat Freaks Festival. "and along our drive into camp, "we came across so many koalas that had been displaced. "The event was nearly canceled due to fires burning.

"near the site in the weeks prior. "So these koalas were just by the side of the road, "exhausted. "At one point we pulled over and Adam grabbed some water. "for these poor guys. "One little fellow was so thirsty and exhausted, "he was holding onto my partner's arm as he drank. "And yes, Adam picked this koala up and gave him a cuddle. "And yes, the koala proceeded to pee all over his shirt. "and arm. "We laughed it off, moved him off the road track, "and continued on. "Now being a festival in the middle of the bush, "there are only showers that you pay for. "We were not planning on using it to shower.

"until the last day. "He had taken off the shirt. "and washed his hands with bottled water. "We arrived and set up camp and then went to a party. "and forgot about the koala completely. "Over those days, we had sex a lot. "Yeah, writing this now I realize how gross it all sounds, "but that's the culture of Aussie bush doofs. "And we were young parents. "who had a rare break from having our son. "So we go down a rabbit hole of research. "and find out that yes, you can catch it from koalas. "(beep) me. "Adam is so fast to make an appointment at our GP's office. "We show up and explain everything.

"And even she agreed with him that yes, it is possible. "that is where the STD could have originated from. "We were completely asymptomatic. "so we could have had it from then. "and then it was only detected during my pregnancy. "So now we have an explanation and my husband is all for it. "He says it all makes sense. "And I can see how he has changed since then. "He's more relaxed with me, more trusting, "but a part of me having thought it. "was from him being unfaithful has stuck. "Our relationship has still been okay these last few years, "but I'll admit it's been strained.

"Our sex life dwindled a lot, "and we both became almost toxic with each other. "in terms of who the other was talking to or texting, "always feeling on edge when the other was out alone, "et cetera. "He would randomly come out with, 'You can tell me the truth. "'and I'll still love you' so many times, "that it would spark an argument. "And our friends who knew the story had ditched us long ago. "thinking that one of us was a cheater. "and the other was stupid for staying. "We learned to keep this part of our lives private. "to avoid all the bull crap. "Since finding this out, "it's like my husband has changed again.

"He is back to the loving, affectionate, caring man he was. "before this started. "He has accepted this explanation so easily. "But now how do I wrap my head around. "that my husband did in fact give me chlamydia, "but from a (beep) koala. "and how do we undo all the toxic crap. "that has been between us. "and move into a healthier trusting relationship? "I still in some ways feel as if he cheated on me. "and I'm not able to completely let this go. "because truly, unless he says something different, "I'll never really know, and this seems too convenient. "to the whole situation to put me at ease.

"I just don't know. "It sounds crazy, but this has been my life. "for nearly three years. "with this new information stressing me out again. "these last six odd months.". (Shayne sighs). - Let's just take a collective breath. - Yeah, let's sit in that for a second, guys. - Let's hold space for koalas. - Yeah, let's do that. Yeah. - That's good. - Ooh. - Wow. - Okay. - Wow. - So...

(Tommy laughs). - Yeah. - I'm a little curious. I've been to Australia, but I don't know Australia too well. Is this not something that a doctor would be like, "Hey-". - Right. - We do also have koalas around. (crew laughs). And they've all got chlamydia. - Right. - Yeah. Or like, sorry, you're not gonna do any other research. two and a half years before? Like, you're gonna go through all of that. and not like look up any other way that-. - Like, how could I have gotten chlamydia?

- How could I have gotten chlamydia? Like, Google that, right? - I mean, I guess to be fair, besides koalas, there really is only one way. - Only one other way. - I think I knew that koalas carried chlamydia. Now, to be fair, a koala did pee all over him. - And he didn't bathe. - And he didn't bathe. - Right. - And they (beep). - And they had sex. - (beep) around like koalas. - Yeah. - Huge. - Thank you. - So, I mean, that's a lot that happened. - [Tommy] Right. - I'm also of the... I mean, man, like you handle a wild animal, a wild animal pees on you,

you might wanna go to the doctor and make sure that you... - Right. - Didn't catch anything from that. - Right. - Right. - So... - Yeah. Yeah. - Wow. - It's all very peculiar. - I was just gonna say peculiar. - Yeah. Really? - Yes. - Really is peculiar. This is a fascinating story. in that they likely didn't cheat on each other, but they lived through three years of thinking. that they cheated on each other. - Yeah. - And does that not do the same damage as-.

- And that is as damaging. It might as well have happened. And they did also see what they would do. if they cheated on one another and just moving on from it. They desperately need couple's therapy because-. - Yeah. - What they've now gone through is pretty rough. - I mean, we touched on this point earlier, right? Like, if somebody does cheat, it's likely that you're gonna be able to see that. And I would think if they were caught. or exposed in this way, you would've kind of been able to detect it in him.

- He's either a master manipulator. or a koala pissed all over him and got that chlamydia. - And it's crazy to say. that the koala is the obvious choice. - The koala seems more believable to me right now. - Yeah. - There's one comment here. "All right, so I searched it up. "'cause I was curious to see if it was true. "and well, yeah, it is. "This is what came up. "for those who don't feel like searching it up yourself. "Yes, koalas can give chlamydia to humans. "Chlamydia is a common sexually transmitted disease. "in humans.

"and a different strain of the bacteria can infect koalas. "This strain can be spread through contact. "with an infected koala's urine or feces.". Now, different strain. - Will it still pop up on the test and the doctor-. - What does mean? Like, does that mean it is the same chlamydia. or is that going to be a different chlamydia? - Well, it's still chlamydia. It's just a different strain. I just don't know if the doctor's tests are looking. for the human kind in general, just the humankind. There's certainly not looking for the koala kind. - We have one other comment.

"A comment above says it's a different strain in koalas. "Could the lab tell which, if they still have the results? "Would that strain even show up on a human STD panel? "I'll say more therapy is needed now though. "And it seems like time is needed too, "as this is a newer adjustment to your reality. "The trauma you both felt for years is real. "and your body can't tell that it was based on something. "that may not be true.". OP responded, "I don't know. "But this is something I'm going to ask my GP next now. "If there are different strains, "surely they can tell on a test. "I might have just found the actual concrete answer.

"I've been looking for. "Thank you.". - [Arasha] Wow. - Update. - Oh my god, thank you! - Oh no. Oh my god. Oh my god. - I was so hoping that we could get this answered. - Oh no. So if- - [Arasha] Oh no? - Sorry, I haven't read anything. - Okay. - If it's not koala chlamydia-. - Then there was-. - If it's not koala-mydia... - Koala-mydia, then it's cheating. - If it's not koala-mydia, then it's not only cheating, it's like now we're at nuclear level. - Right. Right.

- That three years later, he found an excuse on TikTok. and was like-. - Got it. - And that means he put his face down. and cried lying to her. - That's insane. And the koala just happened to pee on him. - Ooh boy. - Okay, let's hear it. - Ladies and gentlemen, bring out the koala. Koala walks out. - Aw. I wanna hold and cuddle one. - All right, what are your bets? Koala chlamydia? Regular chlamydia? - I love whimsy. - [Shayne] Yeah. - So I'm gonna bet it's koala-mydia.

- [Shayne] Okay. - Then I guess I have to bet opposite. I have to say that the man is a master manipulator. - It is not great options to choose from. - No. - No. (Shayne laughs). No, they're not. - Okay. "I sat my husband down last evening. "and spoke about how I'm feeling now that we know the truth. "I talked about how much pain I've been put through. "with him accusing me and vice versa. "And I apologized for my part in things, "told him how much I loved him. "and how happy I was to finally put this to rest. "now that we both know there is nothing between us.

"And then he starts fidgeting and getting upset, "and he tells me that he cheated.". - Whimsy is dead. (crew laughs). - [Bailey] Keep going, keep going. - "Yep, I know, "but he still didn't give me the STD he says. "In the months...". Oh (beep). - No. - "In the months after finding out, "yes, our relationship was in a really bad place. "when he wasn't living at home at that time, "he went out and had a one night stand.

"with a girl from a pub in the town over. "He explained that he genuinely believed that I cheated. "And after a few drinks, "he decided he was going to end things with me, "so he went ahead with sleeping with this girl. "It was his way of getting back at me. "Plus he was convinced that our baby wasn't his, "so he was really in a broken place. "But the next day we met up. "and this was the day I brought up separating, "and he said that instantly he had a regret. "and felt as if things were even now. "He decided he would stay if I did a paternity test. "and the baby was his, which he was.

"He thought that if I was never going to tell him I cheated, "he would never tell me either. "He only told me now because he realized how stupid he was. "and wishes he could take it back, but he can't. "Now this koala knowledge has left him feeling guilty. "I asked about the girl. "and he says he only knows her first name, "hasn't had contact with her since, and she means nothing. "But my god, this blows. "Remember how I said in my post. "that since finding out my husband. "is back to his caring affection itself? "Well, now I know why. "He was trying to make up for his mess up,

"and people were mad at me for not instantly accepting. "that my STD could have come from a koala. "But I swear there was a part of me. "that instinctively knew this. "Maybe that's why I was holding on. "It all feels hollow. "I feel numb. "I'm sitting on a park bench right now. "while our sons play and I just don't know what to do. "Cheating is a deal breaker for me. "And I never slept with anyone. "I never considered a payback tit for tat move against him. "So why did he do it to me? "I'm heartbroken. "And a part of me wishes we could go back. "to before all of this happened.

"I can't break up my family. "We have two kids, two dogs, two cats, two cars, "and a house together. "It would be a mess. "But I don't know how to take this on now. "He could have told me this six months ago. "when we first found out about this new possibility, "but he didn't. "He waited until I poured my heart out to him in an apology. "to dump on me this confession. "I can't look at him right now and he knows it. "I guess I'll take a few days to process. "and then decide things, but I'll probably stay. "I love him so much, "even though this has broken a little part of me. "I just found again.

"Oh well. "I get that a lot of people are now convinced my husband. "is some sick sadist, "but I genuinely do not believe that is true. "I don't think he manipulated me for years. "I don't think he gave me the STD. "or cheated before all of that crap happened. "I do believe the STD came from the koala. "Why admit to things now if not? "Before yeah, he felt justified, "but now he just thinks he is an idiot. "for doing what he did. "I believe him when he says it was the only time. "it's ever happened. "And if people think I'm a fool, that's okay. "I'm processing this all in my own time regardless.

"But the way I see it, "we had a really unfortunate thing happen. "and the STD planted doubt and he (beep) up. "But the way it came out shows me. "that my husband is dedicated. "Man, I really skipped over writing. "about our actual conversation when he confessed, "but it wasn't manipulative at all. "It was raw and ugly and in no way did he blame me. "He only kept repeating, 'I really thought you cheated,'. "and, 'I'm a (beep) idiot and I'm so sorry.'. "I'm going to take the advice of a few people. "who have said I should take a break. "I've asked him to go stay at his parents. "whilst I think things through and take time.

"And yes, I did say that cheating was a deal breaker for me, "but my actions have shown otherwise, "so that's something I've learned about myself. "Maybe that was just an ideal that a younger me. "that viewed the world in black and white held onto. "But now I've experienced how life has much more to it, "and I guess now that it's not the case anymore. "Another person said that the stages of grief aren't linear. "and it seems as if I've started at acceptance. "Maybe that's true too. "Either way, a break, "some hard conversations with a therapist. "and my own choice will be the determining factor. "in the fate of my marriage.".

- So it was the third option. - So it was the one we didn't consider. - Where it was both. - [Shayne] Where it was both. - So we did find out that the koala did give? - The koala did give him chlamydia. - Koala give. Koala gave. - Koala gave. - Koala gave. - So technically, if we're talking about the situation. before the chlamydia, no, they never cheated on each other beforehand. - Right. - He got chlamydia from a koala, gave it to her, they had chlamydia. They both assumed each other was cheating on each other.

He then took that as, "Well, she's cheating on me. "This relationship's over." - It's over. I'm gonna go cheat. - My son's not even mine. I'm gonna get drunk and sleep with someone. - Right. - Then they kind of just go back to being together-. - Right. - Moving past it for three years. - Right. - Then he finds out, "Oh, she never did cheat on me.". - Right. - And doc confirms. - And now I cheated on her. - And now I cheated on her and so now I have to confess. - But we have confirmed that it was the koala. - [Shayne] It was the koala. - Whimsy isn't dead. - [Shayne] Truly-. - It's giving koala.

- Giving koala. - This is Australian Shakespeare. - Yeah. That's an-. - This is truly-. - That is an insane story to have. - Yeah. - Like, for that to have happened to you and your marriage. I mean, this is what we were kind of saying. with like the crazy situations of cheating, right? - Right. Nuance. That's like a (beep) seven layer cake. - Seance. Yes. - Seance. - That's crazy. I mean, what do you do? - Yeah. - Do you forgive? - I mean, it's up to her.

- She is allowed to do what she wants to do, right? - And it was a very like, you know, mature ending of that post there to be like, you know, it's complicated and I don't wanna break up my family and... - Yeah. - You know, and she's the only one that talked to him. So if she's there to gauge how he is. and how he reacted and stuff, I mean, it's up to her how she handles her marriage. - This is, yeah. I mean, this is that classic "Friends" situation, you know, where it's like-.

- What? - It's the Joey, the we were on a break thing. - They were on a break. And this was Ross and Rachel. How dare you. - Oh, Ross and Rachel. I thought it was Joey. (crew laughs). - I'm a "Seinfeld" guy. I don't know what this is. - You know, it's like when George... (everyone laughs). But like this is such a unique, I think everybody would have. a completely different strategy. - Absolutely. - Wait, sorry. I just need to make it known they were not on a break. I just need to make sure that that's where I stand on that. - They were not on a break. - They were not on a break. I mean, they were on a break, but still what he did was inappropriate.

Just need to make sure that that is known. (crew laughs). - Yeah. This is truly tragedy. Tragedy level. - Absolutely. - Insane story. I am so curious what people in the comments. would say they would do. 'cause I just think it's all over the place. But maybe not. - It's so hard to, yeah. How do you comment on this? - I mean, I agree with what you said. I think the way that she wrote out her feelings.

were very eloquent, and I love that she said she used to believe this, but now that she's in this situation, she realizes that that isn't actually how she feels. And I'm glad that she isn't just being like, "Well, this is what I feel so I should do that.". She's actually following her heart and being present. And yeah, she has to kind of evaluate like, sure, maybe technically it might be okay or not okay. But it's just the feeling of are you able to move on?

Does it still feel appropriate to stay in this? And having a family, there's a whole nother layer to it. 'cause they have kids, they have two sons. - After kind of already mourning that issue, you know, it's like they already went through the process. of like thinking they cheated on each other. So it's like, what does your brain do when it's like, oh it wasn't real, but it was real, but in a different way. You have to like redo the processing.

That's so crazy. - Yeah. When they go to a couple's therapist, that therapist's head is gonna like spin around. - Right. - It's a koala in a sweater. - Yeah. So... I don't think a koala did that to you. - Right. Listen, koalas can't control their pee, okay? - It's true. - That's crazy. - Yeah. Wow. - Wow. - Yeah. Wow. - That's all I gotta say. That's my takeaway. - This is a huge wow. Big wow for me. - Big wow. - Huge wow. - These have been some stories. - And that was stories.

- [Shayne] Yeah. - With Shayne. - That was a giant mattress baguette. - Huge mattress baguette. - Honestly that has grounded me. throughout this whole video is mattress baguette. - Coming back to mattress baguette. - Coming back. - Which we've determined is a baguette that is-. - A mattress. - [Tommy] A mattress. - Soft or firm. Maybe it comes in two different ways. - Part of the baguette's a little soft, part of the baguette's a little, press a button and part of the baguette goes, whee. to sit you up. - Yes. And I like memory baguette. - I like memory baguette.

- Well, thank you both for being here. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Guys, March 8th, we'll be doing "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories Live". at the Dynasty Typewriter Theater. You can watch the livestream by going to live.smosh.com. and getting tickets. It is going to be so much fun. We hope to have you there watching us online. And also we'll be back as always next Saturday. So we'll see you then. Goodbye. - Bye! - Goodbye!