Around The World In 60 Minutes | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hello and welcome to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.". I'm Shayne, and today's theme is travel. (chuckles). That's why we all have silly hats on! 'Cause we're gonna travel! - Who has a silly hat on? Not me. - I'm joined by one person who's wearing a silly hat. and one person who's wearing a hat that they wore today. by their own choice. - It's me. - Amanda and Ian are joining me. - Ahoy. - Hola. - I feel so bad for everyone that's listening to this. on a podcast.

and doesn't get to see these ridiculous hats we're wearing! - Can I be honest? You look like you are like a modern Titanic captain. - Thank you. - Do you know what I mean? Like, you were on the Titanic, and you were the one who went in the boat. when they said women and children only. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You went in there and went... - And they said, "You're not a woman.". I'm like, "Excuse me?". - Yeah, yeah. - You also, yeah, I mean, the hat's also... Well, no, the rest of the outfit isn't, but the hat's giving, like, oh, it's 2:00 AM on the party bus in Vegas. - Yeah. And you're the-.

- And like you suddenly are like, "Where did I get this hat?". - You like went to a Halloween party. with your girlfriend who's really into Halloween. - And I'm like-. - And you were like, "I'm Popeye.". - All right, I'm Popeye. - You can't see me. And I'm just a woman in Barbados. - Yes. We love that for you. - Drinking a frozen cocktail, and it's my seventh one. But God am I trying to lose weight. You know what I'm saying? - I think it's giving more Louisville, Kentucky to me. - Oh. Derby? - You're watching the Kentucky Derby. - Oh my god. - Back in like the 1800s or something.

- I'm watching the Kentucky Derby. - I think they still wear big hats. - I'm mad at all my friends. - Do they still wear big hats? - I think so. It's like a customary thing. They're like-. - I don't see people wearing big hats that often. - And they should. - And we should. - My sisters wear big hats. They love it. - Whoa. - Whoa. (crew laughs). I'm driving to our destination. - Improv! All right, well, let's get into these travel stories. - Oh, we're taking the hats off? - I'm taking my hat off. - No, no. Actually, captain of Titanic, you can keep it on. - [Shayne] You can keep the-.

- What if I just take it off and like I'm bald? - That would be really funny. - That would honestly be fine. - That is not the first time that has happened on Smosh. Keith revealed that he had shaved his head. for a Summer Games. It was an incredible reveal. - That was the best moment. - It's one of the best moments in Smosh history. - Yeah. - Yeah. Just so you know. - Okay. - Anyways, travel. - Travel. - Travel is very fun, but it can come with a lot of problems. - Yeah, just like the conversation. - A lot of drama. I would say it's weddings and international trips. that you see the most interpersonal drama happen.

- You can't travel with everybody. They may be your greatest friends. and you guys have like a wine night. - Yeah. - But you get on a trip, and sometimes it doesn't work. - I think it's a great-. - Sometimes it does. - It's a great test for any type of relationship, right? I think that's like a worthwhile. like friendship or relationship test. - I have a question. Do they have to be good travelers. in order to be friends with them? - I just think that traveling with someone.

really shows like is your dynamic like healthy? Like, is there mutual respect? Is there mutual boundaries? - I feel like with relationships, you shouldn't make it official. until you go on a vacation together. - Okay, I kind of agree, but then I also don't. because I feel like there are friends that are great. and you just might not ever be able to travel with them. - Oh yeah. Friends is fine, but relationships. - Oh, relationship. Oh yeah. - I see what you're saying. 'cause you can draw that boundary and just be like,

I'm not traveling with that person. - But a partner... - [Shayne] But... - Definitely. - It really does highlight a lot of things of like, are we cohesive? - [Ian] Oh yeah. - And I think you could be as simple as a road trip, right? It doesn't have to be an international trip. - That's true. Anything that like brings you out of your comfort zone-. - For multiple days. - Puts you in a pressure cooker. - Yeah. - You can't judge it on the first trip unless it's glaring. - Our first story comes from the subreddit Two Hot Takes. Shout out to Morgan as always. - Shout out Morgs. - Love you Morgan. - Truly one of the like... That subreddit's always popping off.

- Yeah. - It's good stuff. This comes from April of this year, 2026. "Am I overreacting for giving an Uber driver a bad rating. "for playing BDSM music on full blast? - Huh? - BDSM music? - BD... BDSM music? Is it just like whips and like chains? - You did a song that was BDSM. - Yeah. What if it's just "Submissive and Breedable"? - So if it's "Submissive and Breedable,". then that's a green flag. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Okay. OP writes, "I, a 24-year-old woman, "and my girlfriend, a 23-year-old woman, "recently took a trip to Arizona to visit friends.". - Fun. - "Our flight landed around 1:00 AM. "And the place we were staying at. "was around a 30 minute drive from the airport. "Within the first minute of this Uber ride, "the seatbelt sign went off. "and the driver yelled at the car saying, "'(beep) piece of shit.'". (Ian laughs). "This was weird, "but we thought it was funny and laughed it off. "A couple minutes later he said, '(beep) crackheads.'. "I don't know what that was in reference to.".

- To the seatbelt sign? - "It was pretty quiet in the car, "and he asked if we wanted to listen to music, "and we said yes. "And then he asked what we wanted to listen to, "and we said, 'Anything.'". Big mistake. - Yeah, huge. - He's like, "Anything?". - [Amanda] Anything? - Anything? ♪ I love when she take control ♪. ♪ She beat my meat, whack-a-mole ♪. - Have you heard of Smosh? (crew laughs). "He pressed play on whatever he already had pulled up, "and immediately we were hiding our laughter.

"because it was so far from what we expected. "The song was called 'Primal Vow' by Playful Devotion. "Also, an important note, "he had some sort of hookup in his trunk. "that made the bass insanely loud, "like it was buzzing my ribcage.". - Oh my god. - Oh yeah, he's got the sub in the trunk. - Yeah. - Dude, that is like so-. - So high school. - That is so 2005. - Yeah. Yeah. - But this is Phoenix we're talking about. - This is somewhere in Arizona, but it's very Arizona. - Yeah. - From my memories of growing up there. "After the first song ended, he started hitting skip.

"to, I guess, pick a song, "but they were all by Playful Devotion, "and they all had names like '(beep) Boy,'. "'Brat Tamer,' 'Crawl to Daddy,' 'Do as Daddy Says.'". - No. - "'Devour You Whole.'. "You get it. "As two young women in someone else's car. "in a different state at night, "we started to get pretty freaked out.". - Yeah. - "He then asked us if we liked the bass, "and out of fear, we kind of just said, "'Oh yeah, it's cool.'". (everyone laughs). - No. - Oh yeah, it's cool! - [Amanda] Yeah. (Ian imitates vibrations buzzing).

It's shaking my ribs. - "And then he (beep) cranks the volume all the way. "Like, my ribs were vibrating before. "and now I'm feeling a panic attack coming on. "from just how weird it made my body feel. "and the fact that it was playing a song called 'Raw'. "by Playful Devotion. "And look up those lyrics and tell me if you'd feel safe. "Also, we had just gone through TSA, "so we obviously had nothing to fight back with. "Anyways, he did drop us off at the location. "And after us waiting outside the gate. "for three minutes out of fear of him following us in,

"he left. "The situation is a bit funny now. "because of how insane it was, "but I'm having a hard time figuring out. "if that's just a weird man who is super unaware. "of how this is coming across. "or if it was actually a bit of a dangerous situation. "and if I should report it and give him a bad Uber rating. "I know the rating is very important. "so I don't want to do it if I'm overreacting. "Let me know what you think. "Thanks.". - Oh. - Huh. - So let's build all the context here.

- [Ian] Sure. - It's 1:00 AM. - It's 1:00 AM. - It's 1:00 AM. They are-. - Oh. - So it's the middle of the night. They're driving for over 30 minutes. They're two women that are, you know, in this car. I understand why in the moment they're like, "Yeah, it's cool,". 'cause it's like you're in this person's car. You don't want to start a conflict. You're scared. - You want to make everything be like, "We're chill. "We're chilling.". - Yeah. - We're not freaking out. We're all good. He asked what you guys want to listen to. They said anything. He played some really-.

- You're thinking anything like-. - Intense sexy music. - Pushed it to the limit. I'm of the mind of, like, yeah, I don't think she's overreacting at all. Like, that's uncomfortable. - Yeah, personally as, if that was me, I would be definitely a little bit freaked out. just because I'm not in a place that I know very well. The TSA thing was like, oh yeah, they have nothing to fight back with. And-. - Well, even if you have something to fight back with, you're in a car going full speed. - [Amanda] Yeah. - You're kind of just like, "All right, man, I'm at your mercy.". - And also, like, what were they supposed to do?

Yeah, we don't like the bass and this is unacceptable.". Like, that could have been... Like, we're taught to be like, "Don't really rock the boat till you know what's going on.". - And like I'm sure there's probably comments that are like, "Oh, you could have just been like, "'hey, can you turn it down a little bit?'". Or something. - Yeah, but when you're in it, you're not saying any of that. - But I think like what this person was also implying. before the music came on. that, you know, he was making these comments-. - He was already kind of saying some intense stuff. - It would put me on edge a little bit. Being like, "(beep) piece of shit.".

When you have an Uber that's like, when you have an Uber driver that's like acting that way-. - Yeah. - You don't really wanna like stir them up anymore. - I get that too. - I'll do whatever you wanna do, bro. - You just sit there with your friend and you go, "Bass is fine.". - Yeah. I mean, like this is maybe like, obviously the threat for me being a man is maybe less, but I mean, maybe I would ask them. to turn the music down a little bit.

- Sure. - But yeah, I mean, I too would just be in for the ride, I guess. - I've been at the mercy of some Uber rides. where like either they're driving insanely. and you're just kinda like, what do you do? Like be like, "Hey man, stop doing that.". But then yeah, you just get some Uber drivers. that it's like, all right, like... I used to have really bad luck where five minutes in, I would sit in, I'm trying not to make conversation. 'cause I'm like, I have social anxiety already. So I'm trying to just like look out the window.

And they will just start talking to me. And I'm like, the way that within five minutes. they're saying the most heinous, horrible shit to me. And I'm just like, "Mm-hmm. "Yeah, for sure. Okay. "Oh yeah, for sure. "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. "Okay, yeah.". - Yeah. - And you kind of have no choice but to be like, "For sure, man.". Like, I'm not gonna start an argument with you. while in the backseat of your car going 70 on the 405. Like, I am scared. - And this one's really tricky. because they're not overreacting. I understand wanting to be like, "Hey, just a heads up, this guy's doing this.".

And then also at the same time, you know, they're in there being like, "Yeah, we're good, yeah, we're good, yeah, we're good.". Which is really tough because in that moment, that's what you're gonna say. - You're also after a flight-. - That's survival. - You're after a flight at 1:00 AM, so you're probably beaten up and tired. Yeah, and you're like, "Okay, well, this guy also knows where we're at.". - So I don't really know. - But this guy also needs to like not do that. - It's kind of weird that he's playing BDSM music. - Yeah. - Yes. - And also, I don't know the lyrics to this, so I think hearing the music.

is probably gonna really shift it to-. - Yeah. - My guess is maybe this is, maybe we've encountered, you know, a Phoenix gooner Uber driver, you know? - Yeah. Phoenix has changed since I left. - Honestly, I will say- - I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised. - She maybe should say something just so he can be aware. that like, hey bro, 1:00 AM, two ladies in there, A, turn down the bass and B, don't play BDSM music.

Like, maybe he should just get it so he could be aware. - There should be like a, yeah. It's like, come on, man. Like, you have to know. - Playful Devotion. - I'm curious what the guy's Uber rating is already, but it's like-. - [Ian] Right. - I wanna give, I give my Ubers five stars. It takes a lot, right? 'Cause I'm like, I understand. Like, you're trying to make ends meet. You're doing your job. It's a lot of work. It probably sucks. Like, you're probably exhausted throughout the day. But also like you gotta... - I feel like, yeah, the only times I give bad ratings.

is if like I think they're legitimately driving unsafe. - Totally. - And then I'm like, okay, well the way I see it is like, you know, if myself and other people give them bad ratings, they get kicked off the app and they don't kill somebody. - Right. - You know? - [Shayne] Absolutely. - Yeah. - Verdict is, there's no official verdict, but the majority is not overreacting. - Yeah. - Comments. "The saddest thing is that the band is AI.".

- Of course it is. Of course. 'Cause when you started naming the titles, a little part of me was like, is this an AI thing? - I don't think I've ever heard-. - "Crawl to Daddy" is AI? - I've never heard an AI band. Horny robots wrote this? - Well, because they're just like, it's somebody just entering prompts-. - Yeah, of course. - Like in any genre. I've sat in an Uber where they listened, the whole time I was looking at like the album cover. and I was like, "This is AI.". And it was all AI, and the guy just kept listening to it.

I was like, really, dude? Like, we're just gonna listen to this AI slop? - Wait. What? This is so funny. - Every like picture was this like old man with tears-. - Oh God. - On his eyes. And it was like this kind of like grungy crooner type music. - Did you tell him? - No, I just like sat there and was like, "I hate this.". But then I like went, I had to look further, and just every photo was this like old man crying.

with like roses, and everything was like, "I miss my daughter. "I still miss her.". - Oh, so it was like country? - No, it was like crooner rock, like (vocalizes). - Isn't it crazy to think like some of these people. who like they're like all in on AI, they're living in the matrix, but like it's a weird bizarro matrix. - Yeah. - [Shayne] With like crooner, grungy crooner music. - Or are we living. in the matrix? - But I don't think they even know it's AI.

- And that's what I mean. Isn't that terrifying that they're listening to stuff. and they don't realize. like everything that is around them is made up? - Or worse, they don't care. - So AI music is sounding legit. - I'm sure, well it's 'cause it's all it's doing is copying, right? It can only take what is made and then-. - Playful Devotion though, what a cool name. - And you can generate that stuff so quick on certain apps, so you can create an album in like a day. So if you're one of these like, "Oh, I'm an AI producer,".

you could literally make 50 albums in probably like a week. and just put it all out on Spotify. - This guy spent so much money on his bass. You know what I mean? - Yeah. - To just play AI. - Someone else said, "I personally don't think you're overreacting. "There is a certain expectation in environments like that. "Uber driving is a way for him to make money. "He should have a certain amount of professionalism. "and decorum. "Just as he shouldn't be keeping his car. "a hoarder rat's nest, "he shouldn't be playing such inappropriate music.

"at such an inappropriate volume.". - How do you know he has a hoard? - Yeah, they're saying like you need to keep it clean. and like yeah, you're running-. - Damn. - Be a little profesh. - This person went in on him. Wasn't even there. - Someone said, "Oh my god, I didn't even hit play. "and the cover for that song is already wild. "I'm listening to it while I'm typing, "and this is the craziest (beep) thing to play. "when someone says anything. "You'd think he'd go for something safe.". All right so we have the lyrics, and I think this is-. - Of "Raw"? - Do we have the album cover too?

- No. We do not have the album cover. We just have, this is the chorus. - We're going to have to bleep all of this. - Oh, the chorus. - I think it's mostly gonna be bleeped. - Okay. (crew laughs). I feel like I'm gonna feel really uncomfortable. hearing Shayne read this. - Oh, I'm so ready. - Oh, Amanda's heard me say way worse than this. - Oh, that's true. - Yeah, this is-. - Well, this is maybe the worst thing. I'm ever going to have said on this show. - [Ian] Cool. Cool. - Yeah. So the chorus goes, "(beep) me raw, take it hard,

"break the bed, leaving scars, "grip my (beep), ride me rough.". - Whoa. - "Scream my name, (beep) the stars.". - (beep) the stars? - (beep) the star? (Shayne screams). - (beep) Alpha Centauri! (everyone laughs). Guy who just watched "Project Hail Mary.". (everyone laughs). Okay, "Scream my name, (beep) the stars, "(beep) clenching, "door wide open, "give me all that nasty art, "I'm gonna ruin you perfect, baby, "tear your good girl apart.".

(Amanda screams). No, I fear, yeah, this guy should not be driving an Uber. - No, that's insane. - If he's blasting that, this guy, no. - That last line. just ripped me up. You know what I'm saying? - So he heard that song and he's like, "I'm gonna keep playing more from this artist.". - Yeah. - As a good girl, like, man, that tore me up. That's awful. - Okay. - This guy should absolutely. be reported. - Jail. Jail.

- Humans create AI and they're like, "How do we make it the most (beep) up thing ever?". - And we want to say that we don't support AI. - No. (beep) AI. - Real artists. - Yeah. - I mean... There's no like-. - There's no progression in those lyrics. It's just like-. - It's all just hard all at once. - It's written by something without a soul. So yeah. - I mean, who would want to break their bed? Those are really expensive. - I know. In this economy? - How are you going to sleep at night? - Anyways, yeah, I think if we haven't made our stance clear, AI sucks.

- [Amanda] Like, what? - A huge one. - At 1:00 AM? Come on, buddy. - Blasting the bass. - Bass? - AI BDSM music at 1:00 in an Uber. - Yeah, AI BDSM music at 1:00 AM, and it's that horrible. Jesus. - I think... Yeah, I think he should go to jail now. - She should absolutely report him. And be like, "From the good girls.". - Yeah. (everyone laughs). Report him to the UN. This is a-. - The UN.

- Yeah, this is a crime against humanity. - Wow. Phoenix, Arizona or Arizona. - I can't be too surprised that dudes in Arizona love AI. - Why? - Yeah. - Truly why though? 'Cause there's like no good music happening? Like, what? - I don't know, man. Every day I get online and I see some other AI bullshit. - Also, like just saying, don't go find this music and play it. - Yeah. The best thing you can do. is simply not give it any attention.

- Yeah. - But you can talk shit about it. I mean, talk shit about AI, but don't-. - Don't give it any attention. - Avert your eyes and ears. All right. Our next story comes from Am I The Asshole. This was posted in September of 2022. "Am I the asshole for turning around in my car. "when I saw that my boyfriend brought his friends with him. "to go on a trip with us?". Oh, so unannounced, like they had a trip planned and he brought his friends. without telling her.

- Cool. He's like, "I got the boys.". - I do not get it. - "I, a 30-year-old woman, am dating my boyfriend, Smith, "who's 39, for eight plus months. "We have been planning to go on a road trip, "but it couldn't happen because he kept insisting. "that we let his two friends tag along. "He brought it up again and promised that he won't ask me. "to let him bring his friends with him. "since one, I'm the one paying for the expenses, "two, it's my car, "three, I always wanted us to go alone for once.

"without having his friends tag along, "and four, I don't want to pay for his friends.". That's kind of going back to one, but-. - Yeah. - [Shayne] I think it's fair to double down on it. - We get it. - Before we get further in story, do you think he (beep) the boys? - Yeah. - Okay. I think he's (beep) the boys. - Yeah. He wants to go for a ride with the boys. - With the boys. - You know what I'm saying? - He's like, "I can't go anywhere without my boys.". - That was one of my thoughts. - And he goes... - Oh my god. - Sorry. - Ian, I'm over here. You did that to my shoe. (crew laughs).

- Apologize to her shoe. - Sorry. - Sorry, shoe. - All right. (Amanda laughs). "We agreed that I'd come pick him up in the morning. "so we could go. "I came in my car and entered his neighborhood. "However, when I saw him standing outside with his bag, "his two friends were also standing there with their bags.". - Oh. - "I was shocked and furious. "I didn't pull over. "I just turned around and kept driving and went back home.". - That's so awesome. - Yes! I love this! - I think it would have been a little bit better. if it was like she just rolled down the window,

was like, "(beep) you!". - Yeah. - No, I think the silent just turning around. and just leaving. - I love this. - You think his boys are like, "Is she like getting gas or something?". - She's lost. - No, no, no. She's definitely coming back. She probably just like forgot something at home. - "I saw him running after me in the rearview mirror.". - Babe, wait! Babe, wait! - "He then stopped and started calling me. "I did not respond until I got home. "He lashed out on me on the phone. "asking why the hell I turned around and left. "I told him why and how I didn't appreciate.

"how he basically tried to force me to take his friends. "with us after I said no already. "He called me awful. "and said that I ruined the entire thing for us. "and acted immaturely and spitefully. "He said I could have just accepted how it is. "But I told him that I would never accept being put. "in a situation where I'm expected to just suck it up. "He hung up after yelling at me for a few minutes.". - Whoa. - "I called back but got no response. "He texted about how I embarrassed him. "in front of his friends. "and is refusing to speak to me until after I apologize. "Am I the asshole for turning around in my car.

"and going home? "Did I make the right call?". - Yes. You did. You crushed it, girl. I love it. Like, what? I'm so confused. - Yeah. - She asked... She said she asked. that she wanted just a trip with just them. And so he heard that, and now he's saying that she ruined everything. - Yes. Because she didn't accept how it is. He's like, "You should just accept how it is.". - No, that's-. - Like, hey, I'm completely breaking your boundaries, but you need to just accept that.

- No, she did the right thing. - I think that's like the, it's not even a red flag. If you tell someone like no to something. and they just try to sneak it or they keep pushing, that's to me like you shouldn't be in a relationship. with that person. - There's some like crazy breakdown. in communication in this relationship. - I just don't think he listens at all. - I feel like this happens a lot with Reddit. where it's just like you've said the thing. and yet they keep doing it, and a lot of it is like they wanna bring their friends. on a trip or on a date. - There's a lot of that.

- Why? - It's just a lot of disrespect for her. - He probably just doesn't like her. - That's honestly-. - She's paying for all of this, so he's like, "This is a way for me to get a trip with my boys.". - Insane. - I'm thinking that he doesn't. actually wanna be alone with her. - He sounds like a bum. - Yeah, he doesn't sound like he likes her. The amount of stories we read on Reddit. where it's like one of them, but it is oftentimes when we're reading these stories, it's like the boyfriend or the husband, just like, you just don't like her. - You just don't like her. - The (beep)? - I think straight up. - Why be with her?

- And what was he gonna say when he caught up to her car? That's what I want to know. Like, "Roll it down, roll it down.". - [Shayne] I don't know. - Hey. - Yeah. - Hey. - My friends-. - Hey. - Hey. My friends wanna come. - Come on, my friends. Hey, hey! - Hey! My foot, Amy, my foot! Hey! Hey! - He's dangling, like dragging. - Hey. She finally parks. He's like, "Hey.". - [Shayne] Hey. - Hey.

- I think like... It's crazy to me that like she... That he can't like comprehend going on a trip with just her, which is like what makes me be like, oh, so you just don't enjoy like being around. This is what we're talking about. This is a great test for a relationship. You go on a trip together-. - Yep. - With no one else. - Yep. - And you just see if you can work it out. Clearly, he's not even willing to give it a shot. - [Shayne] Doesn't want to. - Also, what is the deal with the friends?

- [Shayne] I don't know. - Here's what I think. They're not getting the full story, but like why would you want to sit there and be like, "I can't wait to go on a trip with you and your-". - She's gonna be the fourth like wheel. It's two of his friends. They're going on their trip, and she's there paying for it all. - Yeah. - Like... - I don't get it. - She's just being taken advantage of fully. - I just don't get it. - Well, if the boys don't go, then who's gonna give him a handy? (everyone laughs). - Jesus. - [Shayne] Jesus. - If you want to. - I just think like there's a lot of guys.

that like just they don't, they're not friends with women. They can't comprehend that. So like this is just like-. - That is such a good point. - He's not. Like, they're not friends with any woman. - I don't think. that that is like you instinctually know that. I don't think you automatically know. how to be friends with women. I think it's like... I don't know if that's like learned. or you naturally have that, but I don't think all men... I don't know. - I don't know. That's-. - Well, I mean, we're not like, I guess we're not like usually socialized like in school-.

- Which is such a bummer. - I feel like in school it's always like boys and girls. - There are values that are unfortunately taught, like, it's not like... I don't think it's like an inherent thing, but I think it's values that are taught. Like, societally, at least like American society. teaches a lot of this. - So maybe it is instinctual, but then it's like taught out of them. - I don't know. Like, I just think a lot of guys are taught like, they don't respect women on like a deep level. to like truly be like, 'cause I think to really be close genuine friends,

it's like a mutual respect. - Yeah. - But I mean, we're... I don't know if we're reading too much into it, like either way, she made the right choice. - Probably. - Like, ditch this guy. - I would love to know how fast she was going. But that's probably not in there. Is it in there? - If he was chasing after her... (Amanda laughs). Residential. Yeah, where's the speed? - [Amanda] She's going 30. - Verdict is not the asshole. Comments. "He's 39.". - Yeah, that's what's like-. - Yes! - That's what's blowing my mind. because I was like, when you said 39,

like I looked at Amanda, I was like-. - I'm also not surprised though by it. 'cause it's like at what, like, what would change this guy? Like, you know, like if you set in your ways of that-. - I don't know, middle age. - No, but there are 39-year-olds who are just like, "Ah, (beep) it.". Like, I feel like I sit here and be like, "Come on, 39.". And then I'm like, I don't know. It's a different world right now. - Some people decide that they're right. Some people decide that like, "Oh, how I think is right.". And so it's like, great, you're never gonna change. - That's what it is.

He's not actually listening to her boundaries. - "He's 39 and wants his girlfriend. "to pay for and chauffeur his friends. "and lie to get you to do it, "then accuse you of acting immaturely. "That sound you hear is a giant red flag. "flapping in the wind. "Run fast, run far, my friend. "Not the asshole.". - No, straight up. And it's not gonna get better for him, I fear. - [Shayne] No. - Like I feel like-. - [Shayne] Oh no. - I feel like if he's behaving this way at 39, it's just gonna, it's never gonna change. - [Amanda] Yeah. - [Ian] You know?

- Someone said, "Please, please, please tell me. "that this is now an ex-boyfriend. "Not the asshole, and I'm clapping for what you did.". OP said, "I stopped calling him, "and I'm reconsidering the relationship at the moment.". - [Amanda] Yeah. - I hope she... - What can you do? - Do not ever talk to that guy again. - You can't move past that. - Yeah, I don't think you move past that shit. - 'Cause that's like a major boundary, you know, a huge red flag. How are you ever going to do anything together? - [Shayne] Yeah. - Travel together, move in together, make decisions together. - That level of disrespect,

man, don't tolerate that. - I couldn't imagine just showing up. to pick somebody up on a trip. and they just decided to bring extra people. - To try to sneak-. - That's insane. - Like I said earlier-. - And he knows what he was doing. - To agree and then sneak it. It's, to him, he's going, "I can take advantage of you.". - Yeah. - "I'll take advantage of you and I'll do this, "and you might be mad at me, "but I'll be like, it's fine. "And then I know I can do it again. "and I can keep doing it, "and I can keep pushing further and further.". - And he knows exactly what he... I think that's the worst part.

He knows exactly what he's doing-. - Yeah. - When he does that, 'cause he knows, like, I think it seems pretty clear. that she made it clear to him, like, "I don't want your friends on this trip.". Okay, sure, babe. Sure, babe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And he didn't hear her. I mean, it's one thing to bring someone to dinner. and be like, "Yeah, they were with me.". But still. I don't know if you guys are, if you're close with your partner, they would at least be like, "Hey, blah blah is coming.". - You're on the same page. - Yeah. - You're on the same page.

Like, if there's gonna be something. that's like not communicated, it's because you already know each other so well. that you know it's not gonna be a problem. - Yeah. - But that's not the case here. Last comment. Someone said, "Not the asshole. "Recommend you keep this guy in the rearview mirror.". - Nice. - Nice. Sick. - God, I love it. I love Redditors sometimes. Man, they crush it. - Sometimes they really crush. You know? That guy, that person, they wrote it in, they're like, all right, and they shut their laptop.

They got into bed. They got into bed, their partner was like, "How was Reddit?". And they go, "I was on fire today.". - I was on fire. Shall we listen to Playful Devotions? - Shall we put something on? ♪ Grab my penis and boo boo badoo badoo doo ♪. (everyone laughs). ♪ Break my bed with your butt ♪. ♪ Boo badoo badoo ♪. ♪ Boop badoop badoop ♪. - Yeah. With your butt? - I don't know. - Break your bed with your butt? - Yeah, you guys-. - [Amanda] That's something else. - That's just called jumping on the bed.

- Yeah. Yay! - That's called... Nevermind. (laughs). - Okay. - Okay. - Our next story comes from Am I The Asshole. It was posted in April of 2026, this year. - Okay. - "Am I the asshole for charging my friend $800. "after she left me four hours from home?". - What? - "Becky, who's 31, 31-year-old woman, "and I, a 31-year-old woman, have been best friends. "for 20 years. "In high school, we became close with Ryan and Daniel.

"And the four of us did everything together. "Becky has always been fixated on Ryan. "If he liked a girl, she would tear her apart. "or make passive aggressive comments. "until it was uncomfortable. "When he had girlfriends, she would openly criticize them. "and act like they weren't good enough for him. "Eventually, she started doing the same thing to me. "She would make comments to downplay my friendship with Ryan. "or subtly compare us, "like she needed to prove she mattered more. "It felt competitive for no reason, "but I ignored it for years. "Fast forward to Ryan's wedding last month.

"Becky and I drove together and shared a hotel. "The passive aggressive comments started again. "She said I would not even be at the wedding. "if it was not for her, "even saying things like that in front of other people. "Later in the hotel, she complained. "that Ryan did not spend enough time with her. "She actually said, 'Sorry to you and Daniel, "'but he should at least want to spend time with me.'. "After years of this, I snapped and said, "'What a weird thing to say out loud.'". - Yes! (crew laughs). - And then I just (beep)...

- Push her! - "She immediately escalated and said, 'Oh, what? "'You really think that Ryan and I aren't better friends?'. "And brought up that he asked her. "to help design the engagement ring. "I said, 'I don't care who's closer.'". - Exactly. - "But it's weird that you care this much. "It's not our fault you're in love with him.". - Damn! - See, but this is-. - She followed up the punch with a... - But like, this is where like a friend of 20 years. you should be able to be like straight up with.

- Absolutely. 20 years you should be able to-. - And not around the wedding. You should say it earlier. - This is bitter. This is bitter. - Yeah, man. - This is resentment built. - God. Like, your friends of the groom or bride, it's like your job is to not only not cause drama, your job is to like quell the drama for your friend. Geez. - I wonder if she's like upset. that she wasn't like invited to the bachelor party. or something, you know? - [Shayne] I don't know. - I think she's upset that she's not marrying Ryan. - Yeah, that's what this story is-.

- And she only has one person to take it out on, this friend. - Yeah. "She stormed out and instead of coming back, "she drove off and left me stranded four hours away. "with no way to get back. "The next morning I couldn't rent a car. "because I only had a debit card. "so my only option was a same day flight. "back to where I live across the country, which cost $800. "I sent her an angry text and a Venmo request. "She hasn't responded, and we haven't spoken in a month. "I'll admit saying she's in love with him was harsh. "and the text I sent after was not my best moment.

"We're supposed to talk tomorrow. "Am I the asshole?". - Look, okay. So, okay, so I mean, she was right on the money. with like that she's still in love with him. And like I'm sure that was like the final straw for her. I don't think she's gonna get that money though. - No. - I don't think there's a shot she's gonna get that. - But she's asking, "Am I the asshole for requesting it?". Right? For requesting it, it's like, hey, like you left,

because if you had plans to drive back together. and they just ditched you, that it is like, it's... I get that it's probably more of a symbolic request. at this stage of like, "Hey, (beep) you.". - Yeah. - "You know what you did to me. "and you can't just get away with this. "without acknowledging like you betrayed me as a friend.". - Yeah, no, she did a really messed up thing. I mean, like, I think maybe I would ask for like half. - I would say not the asshole, but like, hey, she didn't think you were gonna get an $800 ticket.

It is a little (beep) up. that she left her in the middle of nowhere. But why are you traveling around with only a debit card? Girl. - I'm looking at the emotional like friendship side of this, right? Like, and there is also... I'm a little confused. It's four hours away, but she took a flight across the country. - Four hours. - Four hours away from what? - There must be some travel situation. - Is there a giant mountain between-. - I just think she is shitty. This friend is so shitty for leaving her stranded. We've read a lot of stories where like,

if you travel together somewhere, like, you have that responsibility. - Absolutely. - It's not like OP (beep) like attacked her. It's not like OP did something horrible. They had a fight. - She said something that was painful. - They said some painful things. And it could have even been out of line. It's still like, hey, as long as you're not, you know, I don't know, saying something absolutely awful. and out of line like horribly-. - But you don't believe someone stranded. - You don't leave someone stranded. Like, friends should be able to have these types of moments.

and like come back together. - [Amanda] Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And also, I don't know, this is a little shitty maybe. I'm gonna like, I'm just throwing this out there. - Okay. - Would the friend be that upset. if what she said wasn't true? - Right. - No, that's what I'm saying. She was right on the money. - It's like if you said, "Hey, you're in love with him,". and it's not true at all, you'd be like, "That's not true.". I'm not bothered by like-. - She is clearly in love. - You hit it. You hit the target. - And she didn't wanna face it, so that's why she couldn't even be in the same car with her. But she left her alone. - She didn't even stay for the wedding.

- I was gonna say, she left before the wedding. - She left before the wedding. - Yeah. So she just bounced. She is upset. She's not really being loyal to any of her friends. - No. I think this was probably... Going to the wedding was probably really difficult for her, and then her friend saying, you know, "You're in love with that guy,". was like the final straw 'cause it was true. - Unfortunately what she needed, not OP, but the other friend, what she needed was a friend in that moment.

because that does suck to be in love with someone forever, they don't want you, but they want to be friends with you, you're going to their wedding. It must be really hard, but she didn't handle it well. She put all of her pain on her friend. - Yeah, she was taking it out. on all the wrong ways for years. And it sounds like they never really leveled with each other. for years based on this. She's like talking about like, "This is how this friend's been acting for so long.". And it's like, and you never talked? You never talked? 'Cause if this friend came to her and was like,

"Dude, I have feelings for Ryan. "and it's really painful to be his friend.". It's like then you get to (beep) talk. - Right. - And then if you have that conversation, then by the time you get here and she's being shitty, it's like, "Hey, I understand what you're feeling. "You cannot take it out on me," whatever. Then you get to be on the same page. and deal with that in a more constructive way. and help her move past it. It's like you gotta let go of that at a certain point. I think that's such a relatable, it's such a relatable thing to have feelings. for someone that it's not returned. - Yeah. - And it's weird.

It (beep) sucks. - And if you're friends, you should be able to talk about it. - Absolutely. Especially if it's a friend that's, you're mutual friends. This isn't the person you're in love with. - I think that's hard. I think that's hard, especially-. - It is very hard. - In a female relationship, like it gets really messy and tricky. when a friend is involved that's a guy. And like you can be friends with someone for 20 years, but you might not say the thing that you really wanna say. because you don't know how they're gonna react. - I know, but, man. - I agree. I agree. I think you should be able to say things.

- Yeah, absolutely. Well, it's like this is how you, those things then end friendships. - [Amanda] Well, this friendship. - This friendship got ended by not handling it. It's like you... It sucks. This sucks, but-. - The $800 does suck. - Yeah, but I... Was that really the only option for the flight? - That's what OP-. - $800 ticket? - That's what OP is saying. - But she only had a debit card. - She was (beep) because her friend abandoned her, so she's like, "(beep), man. "I now lost 800 bucks because you bounced.".

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Without even telling me like, "Hey, I'm gonna bounce.". Like, just left. - No, that's-. - How could you just leave someone and not even go back? - I think 'cause she was that hurt. - [Shayne] She's that hurt. - She's, she... She was... - Wow. - She was red. - Yeah. - But like at some point you would hope... No matter how upset I got about a situation, I'd be like, I can't just leave this person here. Like, I gotta figure out some way to like, hey, like I do have to make it up to you.

in some way or another. The verdict is not the asshole. Comments. "Was this four hours away or across the country?". OP said, "We met in our hometown. "I flew in from out of town, "which is four hours away from where the wedding was, "but I live across the country. "I am in the US.". - Oh, so she would have already had to, she already had a ticket to fly from the hometown back home. - From the hometown, but because there was probably no flights from where she was. to where her flight-. - So she had to cancel a flight.

and then take another flight. - It just left her in a really shitty situation. where her travel was messed up. - Okay. That makes more sense. - Someone said, "Not the asshole. "Ditching your friend without a way home is a safety issue. "You had every right to be upset, "especially when that came with a $800 plane ticket. "I wouldn't say she's a friend anymore.". - [Amanda] Right. - Lastly, someone said, "Unfortunately, you will never get money from her, "and I doubt you would win in a small claims court. "Best to move on and go no contact with her. "Not the asshole.". - I kind of agree with that advice.

- That's fair. - It's tough. 800 bucks is painful. - Yeah. - Also, like, I don't know if I'd be able. to like stay friends with somebody. that was that unreasonable. - Oh, I would not be able to... That would be a, like, if you abandon me in a way. where I then have to spend 800 bucks, figure out not only the 800 dollars, but just figuring out travel, right? Just a nightmare. Unless they really come and go, "I was so out of line. "I'm so sorry. "I'm gonna pay you back financially in some way or another.". And also, like, I need to, like, unload,

like and figure things out. It requires them to become a new person. Or else it's like, you're just gonna get worse. - I mean, at the end of the day, 800 bucks is nothing to how painful it's gonna be. to end a 20 year friendship. - Absolutely. I do agree with that. - That's gonna be-. - I feel they were like hometown friends, honestly. Like, I don't even think they were that close. - I don't think so. - So, sorry-. - [Amanda] They went to the wedding. - They were at the wedding. because the friend was complaining. that the groom did not spend enough time with her. - [Ian] Got you. - And then-. - Before the wedding? - During the wedding.

During his wedding-. - Bro. - To his bride. - Delu-lu. - She's upset that he's not spending time with her. - You are delu-lu, girl. - Yeah. No. - And then OP goes, "You're just mad 'cause you're in love with,". like fair. - [Ian] Fair. - But I also understand ending, like, I'm taking the like view. of like these are close friends. - Me too. - 20 years. And even if it's like kind of back and forth, like 20 years, like there's a kind of thing. where, like, even if it's a friend you don't see as often, it's like, man, you're such a big part of my life.

- But it's deep rooted. - It's deep rooted. That's tough to jump to no contact. I get that. But I also understand the, like, where she's headed, where Becky is headed, it doesn't get- - Becky. - It doesn't get better. Like, is this resentment only gonna grow? 'Cause if she can't move past it. and she's taking it out on OP, that's only gonna get worse and worse. It's like, she's not your friend. She's not being your friend. and is that gonna get more and more painful? - OP said what was needed to be said. It might just- - Absolutely. Hurts. - Happen at the wrong time. - Yeah, I mean, like, it's one of those things.

where, like, you know, if I was, I don't know, if I was in her shoes, I probably just wouldn't have said anything. I would've just been like, "Okay.". Like, you know? - I probably would've said it. - There's no reason to like-. - Well, these people do need to hear these things sometimes, right? You hope that it happens in a more like calm way. - But I think she read her friend wrong. Like, them's fighting words. - It's also probably, probably drinking involved. if it's a wedding. - Of course. - Yeah, and then she. immediately got in a car and drove away.

- Yeah, it's not sounding great. - We have to be aware of our location next time. I'm saying that to myself for future advice. (everyone laughs). You know? - It's like what you're saying is correct. and you're not wrong for saying it, but it's like if you have the ability to plan it out, you know, if you can be Batman with prep time, do that, but you don't always get prep time. - Yeah. - I mean, it's also that thing where it's like, y'all, you're at a wedding. Like, hash it out after.

- But that's what happens at weddings. - It seems like it was a little, it is kind of like what happens-. - Weddings are so high emotion. - But it's also the thing that it's happened. and it's like, I bet OP is like, "Do I wish it happened differently? "Sure. But like-". - Yeah, of course. - I just don't even have conversations at weddings. I'm just dancing to "Uptown Funk.". - What? No. - Put Primal Devotion on. - Yeah. - Grandma, Primal Devotion's on. ♪ Lick my butt and suck on my nuts ♪. - Jesus. - Sorry.

- All right. - I should start writing AI BDSM-. - Then it's not AI. Then you wrote it. - That's true. That's true. This is a Ian original. - What you just sang is better than AI. - Who needs AI when you got this brain? - Update. - Yeah! - Yay! - So this update comes nine days later. - Okay. - Okay. - "I wanted to address some common questions/comments first. "Four hours versus across the country. "I'm in the US. "and flew from the west coast to the east coast.

"We wanted extra time together. "since we don't see each other often, "so I flew into my hometown about four hours. "from the wedding instead of somewhere closer. "This sounds like teenage drama. "Totally fair. "I think that's part of why I snapped. "It felt like, are we really doing this at 30? "It's also a sign I should have addressed this sooner. "Rental car issue. "I was told I couldn't use a debit card. "unless I had a license from that state. "Otherwise, it had to be a credit card. "No credit card. "I had debt in my early 20s, which is long paid off,

"but I've avoided credit cards since.". - Oh, okay. - "This situation made me realize I should have one. "for emergencies.". - [Amanda] Yeah. - "Why not bus/train? "I looked into it. "Neither would have gotten me back in time. "for my return flight. "A train home would take-". - This is the US. We don't have trains. - Yeah, public transport? International commenters are like, "Why don't you just use public transportation?". - [Amanda] Yeah, hello? - Do you guys have that? And we're like, "No, we don't.". We did! We did have it, but we destroyed it. - They're like, "Oh, from the west coast to the east coast train,

"that should only take like, "what, five hours, something like that?". - [Shayne] Yeah. - No. - The US is very large, people. - It's very large. - I don't think a lot of people realize how big it is. - "A train home would have taken almost three days.". - Yeah. - "And cost about the same. "My options were flying out of the closest airport. "or trying to get back. "to my original airport four hours away. "Either way, I needed a same day flight. "Venmo request. "I sent it out of anger. "I told her later I don't expect her to pay me back.".

Now for the update. - Oof. - All right. - "We had the call and it wasn't productive.". - Oh. (crew laughs). What a surprise. - Knew it. - "I apologized for what I said. "and that it was below the belt, "especially the in love with Ryan comment. "I acknowledged it was hurtful. "and told her I wouldn't say things like that again. "I apologized for the text and Venmo request, "explained they came from anger, "and made it clear I don't expect her to pay me back. "I explained that her comments. "have been a longstanding pattern I never addressed. "but should have.

"When I brought up being left stranded, "she didn't acknowledge it at all and became defensive. "She started crying. "and asked if we could just go back to how things were. "I told her I didn't think that was possible.". - No. - "After the call, "I realized this isn't something we can come back from. "I'm willing to work through a lot, "especially when I have a role in things, "but the lack of remorse or even acknowledgement. "for leaving me stranded made that clear. "As many said, "this hasn't been a real friendship for a while. "It wasn't always like this, "but over time the dynamic shifted. "in ways I kept overlooking or brushing off.

"instead of addressing. "I think I held onto it because of the history. "During the month we didn't talk, "I actually felt at peace, which says a lot. "I realized that not dealing. "with her behavior earlier probably contributed. "to it becoming a more explosive conflict. "than it would have been if I had addressed it sooner. "I appreciate the honest feedback. "I'm still sad about letting go. "of a friendship I cared about, but I know I'll be okay.". - I think, yeah-. - It's a good ending. - This kind of backs up my theory. that they were like childhood friends, school friends,

and then, you know, went off to college, whatever. And I think like, and I'm just saying this. from my own experience of being friends with Anthony, like I think sometimes. like when you develop these friendships. in like middle school and high school, your communication styles. and the way that you're friends don't always evolve. as you become adults. And that's how it was with Anthony and I, like our communication never improved.

from like high school teenage boys. until, you know, that whole thing kind of like fell apart. - Yeah. - And then we were like later on able to come back together. as an adult sort of friendship. - Yeah. - So yeah, it kind of, the way that they talk to each other. in this like argument feels so high school. because that is-. - That's where it was born. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think friendships. also like they do a double helix sometimes.

It's like you come together and then you have to go off, and sometimes you go off. and you learn things that don't vibe. And also I do think there is this like pressure. of the friendship you've been there since the beginning, and like this friendship, it's like, well, I have to hold on, but it's like it's both parties are not, they're not right for each other right now. Maybe later. But you gotta kind of-. - Well, it's also the painful thing. That's really fascinating.

I agree with that about the communication styles. I feel like people talk about that a lot with siblings. of like when they go back. and they spend time with their family, it's like our old dynamics come out. - Yes. Yes. - It's like, who do I become? I become who I was when I was younger. - Yeah. - But I also think it's painful in your 20s, and then when you hit 30, it really becomes apparent. of like friends that you're growing up together. and some people just refuse to grow. Like, some people like hit some things. that they're not letting go of, and it's like you realize how much it stunts you. - Yes. Yes. - And she's not letting go of this thing. And it's like keeping her in this place.

- And it's keeping her friend in that place with her. - Yeah. - It's also just like so maddening when somebody just can't, like all you have to do is apologize. Like, just acknowledge what you did was (beep) up. You left someone stranded in a town that they don't know, that they don't live in, and all you have to do is say, "You're right. "I (beep) up.". - I think acknowledging any aspect of that.

is also acknowledging the reality of what's going on inside. - Yep. - And she cannot face that reality. - It's not even near her. She doesn't actually see it for what it is. because she doesn't understand it yet. - I know. It's really sad. - [Ian] Yeah. - It's really sad. - Well, it's sad because she's missing out on a friend. who's willing to grow. And so the friend's willing to grow. and the other friend is going to stay. where she is right now. - [Shayne] Yeah. - And it's good that the other friend is like,

"Okay, I have to keep moving on.". - There's an aspect that I feel so sorry for Becky in that-. - Yeah. - People like that who they hold onto this thing, and it's like, man, you're never gonna find, you're making it impossible for you. to find your person out there. because you're holding onto this thing. And it's gonna completely cloud you. - Also, Becky is just like the perfect name for this person. - Oh yeah. It makes them so loathsome. - Oh, they picked that pretty well. - Becky. - Becky. - Yeah. If a character's named Becky in this-.

- You know there's gonna be some shit. - You're like, whoa. - But yeah. - Yeah, I mean, I think, yeah, if there's one lesson to take from this is just like, be more vulnerable with your friends, you know? - It will free you, it will free you. - If you (beep) up, just say, "Hey, I (beep) up.". And then like, it will be amazing. what that opens up for you. - And you might see things earlier. and be able to move on earlier. if that's what's gonna happen for you. - And you're allowed to have irrational feelings and stuff.

You can't help that. She can't help that she has these feelings for Ryan. But if she's not gonna acknowledge it, it's gonna turn into irrational behavior. - Right. It doesn't make her a bad person. - No. - No. - All right. It's time for our final story, and this one's going to be an epic. - An epic? - An epic. This next story comes from Today I (beep) Up. This was posted in September of 2019. "Today I (beep) up by trusting some rando on Airbnb.". - Ooh.

- They write, "Shit river 2K19. "We have a thousand words to explain all that transpired. "with our dear friend Paul from August 3rd. "to August 4th, 2019. "Let me spin you a tale. "A tale of shit river.". - Okay. - This guy's cooking with this one. - Yeah, he's having a blast. - "4:30 PM. "Our initial impressions of the house were terrific. "Our illustrious host, Paul, left a bottle of red for us. "on the table along with some chocolates and popcorn. "Paul was friendly. "Check-in was quick and easy, so our party settled in.

"Everything was looking great.". Okay, so they're into the Airbnb. It's good. - Illustrious. - "6:00 PM. "We returned from purchasing perishables for the weekend. "We filled the fridge as we prepare for a relaxing. "and restorative vacation. "We had all traveled far. "and been looking forward to this rare reunion. "A few days on the beach does wonderful things for the soul, "but little did we know how our souls. "would be blackened forevermore.". - Oh my goodness. - "8:15 PM. "After a round or five of drinks,

"we noticed that several members of the party. "had disappeared and were nowhere to be found. "We discovered them ominous plunger in hand, "staring terrified at a slowly rising toilet. "One of two in the house. "Plunging half successfully, "we messaged Paul and let him know the situation. "Only one working toilet isn't ideal. "for a group of eight 20-somethings drunk on beer. "and full of tacos, but we'd make it work. "8:38 PM.". The wolves arrived.

No, I'm just kidding. - What? I was so in. That's crazy. - "8:38 PM. "The remaining toilet won't flush.". - No. - "The party grows worried. "Paul assures us that he will call a plumber. "9:00 PM. "Paul has no luck with his-". - What are these people eating? - Tacos. - [Shayne] Tacos and beer. - Both toilets? - Salsa and beer. (everyone laughs). "9:00 PM. "Paul has no luck with his usual plumber.

"They won't be able to fix the toilets. "until the next morning. "A five-second Google search reveals there are 12, "12 emergency 24-hour plumbers in Virginia Beach. "But Paul did not want to call them. "After informing our dear friend Paul of our displeasure, "he put his nose to the grindstone and made a few calls. "A plumber was found. "Magic. "9:30 PM. "Raw sewage floods the shower and both toilets. "Kitchen sink makes a strange noise when turned on.

"The house likely possessed. "Drinks have been drunk like it's the end of prohibition. "and we cannot drive or Uber to safety. "After all, where would we go?". - [Ian] McDonald's. - "We pray to whatever Eldridge creature. "haunts our plumbing to spare us. "10:01 PM.". - I love it. - "The stench. "Dear God. The stench.". (everyone laughs). "11:20 PM. "Emergency plumber arrives with Paul. "and Paul's friend in tow. "One of them goes to the roof. "One of them pounds a Pap's blue ribbon.

"Advanced guard sobered up. "and makes an emergency run to a public bathroom. "We split the party. "12:20 AM. "Plumber ventures inside the splash zone. "to duct tape garbage bags around the toilets. "to seal them in preparation for the final blasting. "Paul's friend fails to discover-". - A stick of dynamite. - Yeah. "Paul's friend fails to discover how to switch off his nose. "and taps out. "I'm out, man. I'm out.

"It's been hours since most of us have relieved ourselves. "The backyard beckons us with its soothing siren call, "but we resist for now. "12:22 AM. "Paul assures us the problem will soon be fixed. "and to keep partying. "Classic Paul. "We oblige, "blithely unaware of the horror shit show. "still awaiting us.". (Amanda laughs). - The wolves enter. - 12:24 AM. The wolves have finally entered. "12:24 AM. "The final blasting.

"The stench, the horror, the splatter. "We all take 2d6 damage.". Of course this guy plays D&D. - No! I was gonna say-. - You knew this guy played D&D. - Of course. - "1:00 AM. "Paul and Co. tell us the bathrooms are fixed. "but not to flush toilet paper. "He requests we instead put used toilet paper. "in conveniently provided bagless trash cans.". - Oh, no bag? No bag? That's gonna leave a smear!

- "We decide to maximize our fun. "and minimize our bathroom usage. "We also decide to leave the next morning. "2:00 AM, the witching hour.". Isn't 3:00 AM the witching hour? - 3:00 AM is the witching hour. - Yeah, 3:00 AM. - You (beep) idiot! - This freaking frat boy, man. - Come on. This well-read frat boy. - Yeah, I thought you were doing a cool campaign. - This is Virginia Beach, right? Isn't that a big party town? - Yeah. - [Shayne] Oh yeah. - Yeah. Yeah.

- Yeah. - "Lights flicker ominously. "The house isn't finished with us yet. "4:30 AM.". - Oh my god. - "Paul offers a full refund. "Excellent. "He later tries to convince us to stay. "and only refund the first night. "Not excellent.". - Oh, this place is haunted. - Yeah, it is. - "We ask for a full refund. "and promise to evacuate in the morning. "He offers to let us stay for free. "for the remainder of our reservation. "Excellent?". (everyone laughs). "But we decline and agree to leave by noon.

"Clairvoyant.". (everyone laughs). "10:30 AM. "The party prepares to leave after a night of sheer terror. "We take trash to trash cans, clean the kitchen, "and prepare a sacrifice to the toilet gods. "11:10 AM. "We commence the cleansing ritual in the kitchen. "After completion, we agree never to speak of this again. "Who would believe our odorous experience? "11:11 AM. Make a wish.". (everyone laughs).

"The great gurgle. "We hear deep from the bowels of hell a cursed glugging. "Was it the broken spirit. "of Paul's friend chugging another PBR? "Nope. "The shower had once again started flooding. "with raw sewage.". - Yep. Hell yeah. - "11:15 AM. "We hasten our efforts to flee. "Paul is called. "We finish packing all but the final suitcases. "into our cars. "11:30 AM. "We convene to discuss departure. "Suddenly, one of our party realizes we've been cut off.

"from the last of our supplies. "by a seeping shit river pooling in the hallway.". - Oh. - "Fearing the end is nigh, "a brave hero bounds forth vaulting. "across the rising floodwaters of the Rubicon. "We form a fire line to ferry our belongings. "and our wounded to safety.". - Stop. - "11:32 AM. "Water oozes from the baseboards. "Satan's septic tank thirsts for blood. "The lights flicker once more. "11:35 AM.

"Our dearest friend Paul arrives, "eloquently prophesying this house is (beep).". (everyone laughs). "Agreeing with Paul's uncanny observation, "we flee the house. "The smell stayed with us for days, "but the memories will haunt us forever.". So it was coming out of the baseboards. It was coming out of everywhere. - Just gotta. (everyone applauds). - That was an excellent read of that. - [Shayne] Thank you. - That was really good. - I was so invested. - Yes. It felt like I was reading the like journals of what is it?

What was the like the pilgrims. who like all disappeared or whatever? - Jamestown? - Not Jame, was it Jamestown? Yeah. - [Emily] It was Roanoke. - Roanoke. Yeah. I feel like I'm reading a diary from Roanoke. - It's really good. - Someone forgot to flush and it's getting real bad. - It's really good. Wow, so yeah, it was coming out of the baseboards. It was coming out of everywhere. This house was quite literally about to explode. - With shit. - With shit. So something deep-. - And it wasn't all their shit. Or was it? - I mean, it must have been like a, well, I don't know if they had a septic tank.

or if it was like a blockage further down the main line. - Something deep in hell is rupturing. - Yeah. He should have known there'd eight-. - Shittin' boys. - Shittin' boys ready to drink and shit. - Out of the shower? - Yeah, 'cause once it's, you know, it's just gonna come out of every hole. - I love the way this guy wrote. 11:11. Make a wish. - Oh, I added make a wish. - Oh. Hey. - Hey, that was really good. You're really talented. - Thank you.

- Wow. He's good. - Oh my god. - He should do this more often. - You never know. when I'm just adding my own little spice to it. - Oh my god. 11:11. Make a wish. - [Shayne] Yeah. - So where were the wolves when-. - Well, they were probably gonna show up. - Lapping up the shit. - They showed up and then they were like, "Oh, oh.". And they like ran away. - Let's go, guys. - Comments. "Honestly, I truly feel. "for how completely and totally (beep) Paul is. "at owning this shit house.". Someone said, "If I were Paul, "I think I'd just burn the house down and start over. "That smell would be too haunting.". Lastly, someone said, "Ah, I love the first season. "of American Horror Story, Turder House.".

(everyone laughs). - No. No. They wouldn't name it Turder House. Come on. - No. - Turder House. - I've been very lucky with plumbing issues. I've never experienced like an overflowing toilet. - Oh, you are lucky. - I-. - You've experienced an overflowing-. - [Amanda] Definitely. - I had a root in the main line, and it came up into my shower. - The root? - No. The shit. - The tree was like (yells).

- The things- - Hey, Ian. - The things that I thought I flushed down the toilet. came up into my shower. - What were you flushing down the toilet? Jewels? - Poopy. Poopy. - Gems. - Gems. My rubies. - Anthony gave me these. - I was hiding these. - We're done. - Anthony got these in Prague. And he brought them back for me. (Amanda laughs). No, I'm very grateful. I live in terror of like a plumbing issue like that. - I've definitely had a plumbing issue like back in the day. At like a Airbnb or like a old inn or some shit.

- I think my tolerance is pretty good for stuff. Like, I can handle it. I've definitely been places where it's like, oh, there was no hot water. so it's like freezing-ass cold showers. - Yeah. Yeah. - But I kind of take that as like, well, it's going to wake me up. - I've definitely had that. - Tough it out. But I've never had like an overflowing toilet. or like anything really bad. - I feel like I must have when I was younger or something. Oh, I did have something. I was in the Jersey shore.

No, we were in Lake George, like around New York with my cousins, and there was a massive hot tub. And I don't remember what happened, but my aunt remembers it as if my cousin did it. But I don't know if my cousin did it. - Oh no. - Essentially (laughs). We like ran back afraid, but there was like-. - There was a floater? - No, there was like plops of shit all around the hot tub. and in the hot tub. Now we don't know what happened. I kind of don't remember it,

but I feel like maybe my cousin or my other cousin. like had like a poop attack. Either way, my aunt still talks about it. Oh yeah. The hot tub poop attack. I think someone had to shit themselves. and they did it in the hot tub and then around the hot tub. - Every time you get into like a public jacuzzi, you're rolling the dice. - We've all been in a wave pool where there's a poop. Haven't we?

- I've been in a wave pool. I don't recall one where there was a poop. - No, a wave pool with a poop is, I don't care. That's fine. - What? - It's fine. - What do you mean? Waves. - Well, okay, that's not good. - Waves. - But I mean, there's enough like dispersion, you know, and it's not hot. - A massive turd? - What are you talking about? The wave pool I was at was in Arizona. - Okay, so it was hot? - It was hot. It'd be like 100 degrees, you're in the wave pool. - But a jacuzzi, that's where you get folliculitis. You know, 'cause somebody got in there and they.

had a little diarrhea. - I don't know all about that. - Yeah. - All I know is my aunt remembers it as like one of, a really tough day. - Really tough day. - Because she had to go in and clean it up. - Oh. - My divorce and the shit hot tub. - She was like, "It was one of you girls. "One of you girls did it.". And I was like, "I didn't do it.". - And like how do you like, do you use the net. to like pick it up? - I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I was hidden away back in the cabin. - Not dealing with that. Anyways, wow, we've traveled everywhere today.

- We have. - We have. But not the Titanic. - You okay? Throws up. - Oh, he took the hats. - I would laugh so hard if he just threw up. (Shayne yells). - No, I was just debating on. if I should just continue singing the song. - No. - No. No. Let me just say. that I will say most of these Reddit stories, I normally am like, "Oh yeah, this is clear.".

But on most of these, I was like, "I don't know. "I don't know if they're the asshole.". I don't know. Like, it felt very, you know, murky waters, if you will. - Okay. - Murky toilet bowl. - 11:11. Make a wish. - I just feel bad for Paul. Paul is left with- - Do you? - He's like, "This house is (beep).". (everyone laughs). - Paul was like the friendship. He just avoided and avoided and avoided. - I just love that like after all this he's like, "You guys can stay for free. "Just hang out here." - Excellent.

- Yeah, that was a little concerning. Like, "No, no, please, please stay.". - That's actually the scariest thing ever. It's like, please stay here for free. I'd be like, "I'm gonna die here.". - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that's what made me start to think it was haunted. - Yeah. - And he's like passing off some kind of curse. - Yeah. - Okay. - So true. - We must go. And by the way, before we go I do want to shout out. at live.smosh.com we are offering a special package. of some of our Reddit live shows. Some of the ones we did last year, some of the ones we're doing this year. So you can go and check them out there to watch some stories.

that we've never read here on the show. with a live audience of thousands of people. It's such an exciting time. Highly recommend it if you can. And now it's time to go. - Oh. - Amanda, Ian, thank you. - No. - Thank you. - This has been great. - Okay. - We traveled everywhere. - It was so fun. - It was a blast. - Didn't even need my passport. - All right, bye, everybody. See you next Saturday. - Bye! - Bye! - Whoo! - Yo ho ho! - Bye! Whoa! - [Shayne] Our hats! - We got our hats back.

For all the podcast listeners, they look great. - Yeah, yeah. - They look awesome. - Now I have a hat. - Bye, guys. It was so great to see you guys. It was awesome.