Am I The Scrooge? | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hi, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shayne, and today's theme is holidays. (group cheers). ♪ Holy night ♪. - Woo! - I believe it is November 29th that this is being posted, which means it's kind of right in the middle. of the holiday season. Christmas time, the holiday season is beginning for many. Thanksgiving just happened. Halloween just happened like a couple weeks ago. - We're taking away our pumpkin pancake batter.

and we're replacing it with. - You got it. - Candy canes. - Nutmeg pumpkin. - Peppermint. - Pumpkins are allowed in December. - They are, but we're shifting a little bit. - Pumpkin spice is still a thing. - To a more peppermint. - Yeah, but we're going peppermint, Shayne. - You're going peppermint? - We're shifting slowly to the North Pole. - I'm actually going eggnog. - Oh, hell yeah, I can get on that train. - Yeah. - Like pumpkin is still a part of Christmas, but I think as we leave Thanksgiving. and enter into December, we're slowly doing more peppermint. - Okay, okay. I respect that for you guys.

I can't always get on the like, peppermint everything vibe. - That's fair. - I don't think that is fair. I think you have to hear her out. - Hear who out? - Peppermint. - Come on out. - Come on out, peppermint. By the way, I'm joined by Chanse and Angela. - Yes! (Angela cheers). - Thank you both for being here. - Thanks for having us. - Yeah. And I was saying before we started this, that this is the time of year. that I'm most in, like, the spirit.

Like I am in the holiday zone. - Like fresh from Thanksgiving. - End of November, like first couple weeks of December. By the time Christmas hits, I'm usually a little like, kinda like done. Like, I'm kinda like burned out. - Oh God, no. - [Chanse] Not me. - I make sure it's a steady flow. - Yeah, oh, you keep a pace. - And I'm a hard, like December 1st starts, now we go. - I'm like, as soon as I digested all the food. from Thanksgiving, it's Christmas time. - Okay. Yeah, growing up it was like Thanksgiving's over.

Now it's Christmas. - Yeah. - But you're December 1st. So you have a weird five day period. where you don't think about anything. - I respect like putting up the tree. - She meditates, she's in a sound bath. - I'm quiet. - She hibernates. - That's when I sleep. - I sleep? That's the only time a year you sleep. Okay. We got all sorts of holiday stories in here. Some from Halloween, probably some from Christmas time. I don't know, all over the place, but let's begin. This first one comes from December 20th, 2019.

"Am I the asshole for buying my wife a Roomba. for Christmas?". - That's a great gift. - I actually think that's a pretty good gift. - Is this saying, "Hey, lady, clean up?". - Or it's saying, "Hey, you don't have to do that anymore.". - Let's hear it. - Depends on the context, but a Roomba, like, I'm thinking for myself, a Roomba, dope. - Absolutely! I'm like, hell yeah, gimme a Roomba. - But let's see. "This happened last year, but since it still gets brought up. during arguments every now and then, and I just discovered this subreddit, I decided to check what you guys think.

Me and my wife have two children, a 15-year-old girl and 11-year-old boy. My wife has been a stay at home mom. since the birth of our second child. I, a 46-year-old man, work full-time. and earn a six figure salary.". - Okay. - "My job is highly stressful, requires me to travel a lot and mostly sleep in hotels. I only get to come home to my family. on every second weekend on average. Despite working a lot, I am glad to do it. so that my family can live a comfortable life. Last year I decided to buy my wife a Roomba for Christmas. My wife tends to be the one who vacuums the house,

so I presume that she would like this present. as it would free her of this chore. As she unpacked the present, she was heavily offended. and did not hesitate to show it, which made the whole situation quite uncomfortable, as my parents and other members of the family. were also present. She argued that this should not be a present. directed at her, but at the whole family, as it is the entire family's responsibility. to clean up the house. Since I work and am the sole source of income in the family. and she's a stay at home mother, I think it is apparent.

that she should take on responsibilities, such as taking care of the kids and maintaining the house. The gift was intended to somewhat relieve her. of this burden. I personally would've loved to have received. a Christmas gift that would've somehow made it possible. for me to spend less time working. As cheesy as it sounds, I think that time is one of the most precious gifts, and that Roomba would have definitely bought. some time for her. Time that she could use to do whatever she pleased. instead of vacuuming. Unfortunately, one year later, this still often gets brought up during arguments, often coupled with her crying,

so am I the asshole in this situation? Edit, I should also add. that I would've never gifted my wife a vacuum cleaner. or anything along these lines. I saw the Roomba as a robot. that would fully take over this task, which is why I thought it was a good idea. Edit number two, I asked her numerous times. before Christmas last year. what she would've liked to receive, and she repeatedly told me that she does not want anything. I was left to guess and chose the most practical gift. that I was certain she would be able to make use of.".

Okay. - Shayne, you have thoughts? - Yeah, I don't, yeah, what do you think? - Okay. - We're not doing this. No, I swear to God. I swear to God, I swear to God. - Okay. - [Angela] No, I swear to God. - This is another one of those stories. where I don't like a lot of how it's written. - Yes. - To me, like I'm just like, unless she had asked for a Roomba, and you're not seeing your wife much at all, it's like, cool, you got her a gift.

that's solely just like focused on like, oh, well, you're a stay at home mother. Here's something to help you out with that stuff. I'm like, I don't know. I think it sounds like there's a big separation. between the two of them. He starts it off by talking about how like, we argue all the time. - That's what I was saying. - And she brings it up with her crying, and I'm just like, it sounds like you guys. need to actually connect on an emotional level. and like be like people to each other. Not just roles in your family. - Yeah, I think like the idea of a gift,

if she didn't specify or mention wanting that, it doesn't really bring out like a closeness or an intimacy. You know what I mean? Like I feel like especially between like two partners, your gift is something like, oh, I know you didn't think of this, so I thought, or I thought you would never buy this for yourself, so this. - Right. - But just like something that helps you with day to day. that you didn't express wanting, but you were just like, this will help you. Doesn't like bring you closer together. Like a gift is like, "Hey, I thought of you. when I saw this.". You know what I mean? And that's a sweet thing, but this isn't.

- And they've been married a long time. because they have a a daughter who's 15, so they've clearly been married a long time. It just sounds like, and I mean, I'm not a couple's therapist, I'm not like in any way qualified, nor have I experienced being married that long. or having kids like that, but it just feels like they've lost track. of like what's important to each other. - [Angela] Yeah. - But it just, I don't know, this reads as just kinda like, hey man, you need to talk to your wife, is my takeaway.

- Or just like, hey man, throw in a bracelet. - Yeah, I kind of, it makes me want to ask more questions. - Yes. - For this guy. That's my big takeaway. - [Angela] I think so too. - So it's like, what else do you guys do? Like, you're never there. So when you are there, do you guys ever like hang out? - Right. - Yeah. Like, my dad got my mom like a new set of pots. for Christmas recently, but it was very much like, well, you cook for me, so. - Okay, but I got you Tupperware. - See, but you knew I needed it.

- Right, right! - But it's also a matter of like knowing each other. - Exactly, and spending time together, which I don't think they do. - I don't know if there's such a thing as like a bad. - And it was nice Tupperware by the way. It was. - Really good Tupperware. - Oh yeah. - There's no such thing to me as like a bad gift objectively. of like, that is a bad gift. It's like anything can be a good gift. - [Chanse] For the right person. - If the person wants that. And you're on the same page and you understand them. But that's kinda what a gift is, right? Is like showing someone like,

I understand you and I see you. - Yeah. - And she didn't feel seen. It feels like they're not on the same page at all. - Yeah, I agree. - I'm forgiving him for the Roomba, in that she didn't say what she wanted, and not everyone is good at giving gifts. So it's just like, okay, like I don't, this is not my love language. I don't do this well, and I know that about myself, and he says that. What I can't forgive him for is. that he says time is his love language. and he's not giving that to her.

- Mm. - He's actively saying how he doesn't spend time. with his family and his wife, even though he treasures it so deeply. How deeply do you treasure it? It sounds like the price of your salary. is how much you treasured that time. - Yeah, I don't think he says. that time is his love language. He says, "I think that time is one of the most. precious gifts. And that Roomba would have definitely bought. some time for her.". Like she wouldn't have to do as much around the house. because the Roomba would be doing it.

- But he's recognizing the time is. - Yeah, is important. - Is the ultimate gift. - And he's not there. - And he's not giving it to her. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Give her that time. Give her a vacation. say, I got you, I got us this cruise. that we get to spend quality time together. - Yeah. I see it as like there's other issues going on. - I agree. - Yeah. - I don't like his reaction to it. and the way he's explaining it to us. - [Chanse] Yeah. - And then just bringing up like, "Yeah, she brings it up whenever we argue. and it's accompanied by her crying.". I'm like, is that supposed to make me feel bad for you?

Because it doesn't. - Yeah, it's also. - That makes me have a lot of questions. - [Chanse] Definitely. Do you guys have Roombas? - He wants you to ask him about the Roomba's name. His Roomba is. - I had a Roomba for a bit. I had like a cheaper Roomba, like, 'cause Roombas are expensive. - Yeah. - But I got a one on like sale that was really good. And it worked fine for a while. But to be honest, I (beeps) love vacuuming. - Oh. - Me too, I love vacuuming. - I love vacuuming. - I love mopping too, I really love mopping.

- I like cleaning. - I just don't do it enough. - [Shayne] Oh yeah. - He wants you to ask him what his Roomba's name is. - What's your Roomba's name? - Saphira. - Saphira? - Yeah, named after the dragon from "Eragon.". - Oh, I was gonna say 'cause it's like a circle. - No. - Okay. - Are sapphires circles? - No, I meant like the. - Sphere. - It's. (Chanse laughs). It's like a circle, so, sphere. - Spherica. - No. - [Angela] Spherica. - Oh, Sapphire. - [Both] Sapphire, guys! - Whoa, that was awesome, you guys. - It's like a note.

- I think also I agree. that a Roomba is not necessarily a bad gift. I think the problem is that, since they're in the same household, it can be seen as like, well, this is a gift for kind of all of us. Right? Like, it's like, oh, this is for our whole house. - [Angela] Yeah, yeah. - As opposed to like, this is just for you. And it also does feel like, he doesn't really talk about his wife as a person in this. He talks about his wife as the stay at home mother. - Yeah. - And how this is like her responsibilities.

It's like, yeah, but we're talking about Christmas, man. Like this is supposed to be about you guys. giving gifts to each other as human beings. He does say, "Since I work. and I'm the sole source of income in the family, and she is a stay at home mother, I think it is apparent. that she should take on responsibilities, such as taking care of the kids and maintaining the house.". It's like, cool, so is that what this gift is like about, or is this about like giving her something she wants? And he's like, oh, but it's about the time she'll get, I don't know. The verdict is asshole, and I can see that.

- Yeah. - And I think a lot of that is how he wrote this. And it shows, it indicates how he views his wife. - Yeah, it's transactional. - Yeah, and I'm like, dude, if a year after Christmas. you're writing a post online talking about why, like, what's the deal with this situation? I'm like, man, you need to do some introspection. and then also talk to your wife. - Yeah. - We got some comments here. "You're the asshole.

That's a gift for the household and not her. It shows you primarily regard her as a housekeeper. and not a partner. What interests does she have. that are not about serving you and the family?". - [Angela] Yeah. - Someone said, "You're the asshole, OP. Had you realized it offended her. and apologized instead of defending it, I feel like it would've been more of a no one's the asshole. Regardless of whether you personally. would've enjoyed the gift or not, she didn't like it and told you it offended her. I see how it comes off to her that you think of her. as the housekeeper and not your wife. However, you could have redeemed yourself and apologized.

You didn't.". - Yeah, there was no apology. - Yeah, you didn't, which further implied. the original thought of her being just a housekeeper. Someone said, "You're the asshole. This is a rookie mistake. Husband thinks, 'Wife will appreciate a machine. to make her work easier.'. Wife thinks, 'My husband sees me primarily as a housekeeper. and not as a romantic partner.'. If you want to relieve her of this one burden, that's a nice thought. But don't make it a Christmas gift. Make it a contribution to the welfare of the household. That's what your wife meant when she said, 'This should not be a present directed at her,

but at the whole family.'". I agree. - Yeah. - I agree, because it almost feels like a gift. that's like, hey, reminder of what all you gotta do. (Chanse and Angela laugh). You know, like? - [Chanse] Yeah. - It's not like. - Reminder of all you gotta do. - Hey, remember though, you gotta clean. - Yeah. - As opposed to like, hey, like. - [Angela] Yeah. - You know, and it just kinda, I know he's not there, but it's. - [Angela] Yeah. - It's like I said, it's indications of being like, "Hey, I've listened to you and I know what you like. I know what you enjoy in life.". - You know what it is?

It's Merry Christmas, I put a bow on your to-do list. - Yeah, yeah. That's actually, you know what, Angela? You cooked. - Thanks. - [Shayne] You cooked. - I thought I did. - You cooked there. (Angela chuckles). Yeah, and look, some people love practical gifts. Like I do enjoy a practical gift, but like if that's an aspect of who your wife is. - Yeah. - Cool, but it doesn't seem like that's the case. - Yeah, some people like gifts that they ask for. and some people like surprises, but this isn't either of those. - [Chanse] Yeah. - This is just something that really isn't magical or nice.

- It's like a cool, it's like you go into. like a cool tech magazine. You're just like, "Uh, this one!". No. - Yeah. (beeps). (Shayne laughs). All right, well let's move on to our next story. This is a confession, it comes from TrueOffMyChest. This was posted Christmas day of 2023. "Guy I'm seeing legitimately think Santa Claus is real.". - How old? - Okay, let's find out. - How old.

- How old do you think? Let's guess that on age. - 23. - [Shayne] 23. - I was gonna guess 23. - Okay. - Oh, let's make it interesting, 27. - "I think he actually believes Santa is a real person. in some capacity and thinks he delivers presents. to his family personally. I'm probably going to leave tomorrow. because it's been awful so far and I just want out. I'll call him Adam. Adam, who is a 25-year-old man, is from a pretty rural area up in the mountains, keeping it vague on purpose. And his family are what I'd consider religious extremists.

He told me this before I, a 23-year-old woman, came to see them for Christmas, that they were very religious, as are mine. So I thought it would be similar. I'm not seeing my own family, as I just have my abusive mom left and we are no contact.". - Oh. - Okay. "I've only been seeing him a couple months. and his beliefs have only come up minimally, and Santa Claus was not part of that, LOL.". - Well, yeah. - "I don't even think we've mentioned it at all, despite walking around Walmart.

with Christmas decoration/holiday stuff on shelves. and him saying he wishes there was more Christian decor. Adam and his family call Santa St. Nick to start off with. He has a large family, and we had a lot of regular. Christmas Eve activities all day, including cooking breakfast and dinner with his family, sitting around and playing with the children, going to a church event around lunchtime. When we went to church, his mom would shake her head. disapprovingly at some references. towards Santa Claus the pastor made, and would whisper to his younger brother. and her nephew next to her.

I didn't hear what she said. When we made dinner, she told me to fix a plate for St. Nick. and I laughed and said, "Cookies aren't enough?". And Adam shot me a horrified look. (Angela laughs). I felt the gaze of his mother. and she gave me this sort of fake smile and said, "No hun, that's not a filling meal.". So I loaded up about as much as I gave Adam. and the men and his family and put it on a plate. His mom put tinfoil over it. and put it in the fridge, in the garage. At some point, about two thirds of his family left. The children went to bed. after about an hour of it being dark.

Adam's mom told them to go settle into bed. so Saint Nick can have his dinner. and start to deliver presents. This gave me the implication. that he would start his night here, rather than just stop by and have cookies and leave. I'm not sure. His mom read a couple passages out of the Bible about family. as we sat around their wood burning stove. and we discussed my family situation a bit. Adam's dad then told Adam and I, as well as his little sister, to go to the guest house to sleep. It was about 9:00 PM. I changed in the bathroom and said goodnight to them.

and was about to walk out the door with Adam. when his mom snapped her fingers and said, 'Hun, you're forgetting. the most important part of Christmas.'. Adam looked pale for a sec before kind of nervously laughing. (Angela laughs). and stepped back to the door holding my hand. We went out into the garage where he grabbed the plate. I said something like, 'She's really serious. about Santa getting his food, huh?'. Trying to lighten the mood. He squeezed my hand really hard and said, 'Yes, I'd say it's serious.'. We went back in to microwave the meal.

and we awkwardly stood there in front of the microwave. watching the plate turn around. I felt his parents' gaze on the back of my head. I said something again, I can't even remember what, kind of lighthearted about Santa having a full stomach. if he eats like this at every house.". (Angela and Chanse laugh). - She's killing it. She's killing it. - She's really doing well. - "Adam gripped my hand harder than he did before, in the first sign of affection he had given me. in front of his parents all night and said, 'His name is St. Nicholas and he only eats his dinner here. Don't be disrespectful in our home.'. It sounds calm all typed out like that.

But the way he said it gave me chills. His parents didn't say anything. and I felt like I was going to cry. I left to walk in the backyard to the guest house, and his sister was waiting in this mostly empty. living room area. She said she started the wood burning stove. and she showed me where to sleep, a twin bed next to her, and said Adam would be in the next room over. with his younger brother.". - [Chanse] What? - "I just laid down. - The brother, he's going over there, she's sleeping next to the sister. - [Shayne] Yeah. - He's sleeping next. - Because they're super religious.

- "I just laid down and I heard Adam come in. maybe half an hour later and go straight to bed. I've just been laying here unable to get sleep. because I'm so anxious, LOL. And I already hear movement in the main house. at this point, and I don't know what to think. I thought after everyone had left, mostly small children, the Saint Nick talk would end. I think his family, or at least him and everyone younger, legitimately believe this is a real person. His parents are really strict. and live relatively off grid and isolated. I barely have service here, so I'll see if this posts, because I can't even text my friends SOS right now.

I feel like I'm in a horror movie. where they believe Santa is like a distant uncle. or something. Does anyone know of any traditions like this? They killed a pig sometime in the last week. as well as a couple chickens.". - What? - "And the whole family is coming back tomorrow, and maybe it'll be less weird with more people being here. A few of his cousins gave me a more modern vibe. rather than the rest of his nuclear family. But I don't know, I might just head back. and stay at my apartment a couple hours away alone. I don't think I can continue seeing him. It's just been so weird.". - This. (Angela laughs).

Okay, I have theories. This is some demon shit. This is some ritualistic, they are haunted by something. I don't know what kind of spirit it is. pretending to be Santa. - I was gonna say, reading through this story, I'm like, she's like, yeah, haha, they believe it. I'm like, no, I think something's coming. - No there is definitely! (Shayne and Angela laugh). This family. - Something is coming tonight! - Something is definitely coming. (Angela shrieks). and it's going to eat that plate. And you know what?

It's probably going to eat the pig too. that they slaughtered that week. Maybe, they said pigs and chickens? That's some ritual shit. - It's like a Christmas "Get Out.". - Oh. - Yes. - Without all the other stuff. - Yeah. - No, this is like, there's a few movies I'm thinking of, but it's like. - "Krampus.". - It's like "The Ritual.". It's like, a demon is gonna show up. It's like we have to feed it. Everybody be cool. - But what guys, the demon also brings gifts? - Go, just go to your room.

- Just go to your room. - And none of that, yeah. - Leave the plate out. - His name is Saint Nick. - His name is Saint Nick. - Leave the plate out. - [Shayne] And you need to give him a full meal. - As long as the wood keeps burning the entire night, you'll be fine. - I think this is my new favorite Reddit story. - Yeah, I'm obsessed. - I need to know the end. - I am terrified, by the way. Comments. "Sounds like you stumbled onto a Santa worshiping cult. Very strange, bizarre.". Someone said, "Reading this at 7:00 AM. waiting for my kids to wake up on Christmas morning, and I don't mean to make light of a very awkward situation,

but I'm laughing so hard.". Someone said, "If this is real, I think you should get out now. I honestly probably would've just left. in the middle of the night. Oh, I'd walk if I had to.". - No, see, that's how you get killed. - If you had tried to leave. - That right there is how you get killed. You sleep the night, and they have done this a million times. You stay the night. - And you're the pig. - You leave, then you're the pig. If you leave you're the pig. - You're the pig! - Yeah. - You must go. - You must go the next day. They got this mastered down since he was a child. They've got the ritual down. - Stay here for the ritual.

- Don't (beeps) with the ritual. Just stay there for the day. - You know how this works in a horror movie? She gets up in the middle of the night, gets in her car, drives all the way to her apartment, hours, gets home, gets to her apartment, goes, "Oh my God, I just need to grab like a drink or something.". She opens up her fridge and the tinfoil dinner. that they prepared is in her fridge. - And the family's dead the next day. - And the family's dead. - And you're the pig. - And it is Christmas morning. (Shayne laughs). And you got a Roomba. (Shayne laughs). - This is some (beeps) wild shit, guys.

This is some. - This is wild. - [Angela] This isn't Santa. - I was on edge. I was like, I had goosebumps. - This is not Santa! - This is not Santa. - The Damian on my shoulder's like, "It's probably fake.". But I'm enjoying it. - I'll go. (Angela slaps). no! (Shayne laughs). Bing! - [Chanse] Yeah. (group laughs). - Something's not right. - Look, this is also the thing. There are families with some weird traditions out there, and there's also cults. - Yeah, yeah. - They do exist. - Yes. - Families with weird traditions and cults, small thin line.

- Thin line. - [Chanse] Yeah. - "Update.". (Angela and Chanse cheer). Ho, ho, ho. - It is Santa! (Shayne laughs). - I swear to God, if they wake up. and there's (beeps) I don't know, Hot Wheels and Barbies. and they just move on and they open gifts. - [Chanse] No, no. - It's just normal Christmas. Oh, that's the worst. That's the worst case scenario. - I'd lose my mind. - Worst case scenario. - I'd lose my (beeps) mind. - I'd lose my mind. I need to see a demon now. - Yeah. - Yeah, I wanna be like, is there blood on the gifts? - The update?

"I'm still alive, not dead.". (Chanse and Angela applaud). - Woo! - "Holidays ended horribly and my relationship is over.". - Yeah! Let's hear it. - "Probably for the best. now that I've had time away from him, talked to my friends, read comments, et cetera. I essentially ruined Christmas. Saint Nick literally left the food untouched. because there was a non-believer in the house, and Adam's mom made a point of it being because I was there. and I was essentially barred from seeing him.

and called a degenerate in front of his whole family.". - A Detention Degenerate? - Detention Degenerate? - Detention Degenerate. (crew laughs). "I think this is it. I can't imagine typing out another few paragraphs. of the worst Christmas I've ever had, completely alone with crazy religious nuts and in my feels, only for it to be called a horror movie in the making. Like, yeah, I know, my life right now just sucks. I wish there was more to say. or it was more dramatic for everyone wanting that, but I just don't have it in me. I wish I had a real family. and relationships that don't suck. I wish I had answers for you of why his family is so crazy.

around the holidays and aren't normal people. that let their son date girls. outside their borderline Amish lifestyle. I don't know, the end.". - No! - No! We need to know! - We need to know, there was no, she didn't say anything about the! - Because she woke up and the mom said, "He didn't eat the meal. Saint Nick didn't come because.". - So who ate the meal last year? - Well, no, no, no. - Who ate the meal last year? - No, the mom is saying like Saint Nick didn't eat it. because she's a nonbeliever. - Who eats the meal? - Probably the mom. - Who eats it? - Probably the mom.

- Someone's eating the meal, Shayne. - I think this is a "Friday the 13th" situation. The mom is really the killer. Did I spoil "Friday the 13th" to you? - I've never seen it. - Sorry. (crew laughs). Halloween's already passed. - Why is it always the woman? Okay. - That's only the OG. Then Jason Voorhees comes back and starts killing people. - Okay, this, I need to. - I need so much more information. - I need people to talk, we need to know. - She needs to just drop their names so we can look. - This just sounds, okay, this to me. - We'll write them. - This to me rides on super controlling, religious, ridiculous family who found an opportunity to control him,

their son, and make him break up with, like just to shame and like be awful. - But to not have the ability to think critically like that, I guess. - A lot people like that. - There's a lot, your circumstances, sometimes you don't have control over that, and your mindset is so limited. And you didn't choose that, it just happened. because of the way you were raised. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Sorry. - This is extreme. - Got real. - I love that they've found, they have their own religion.

They made their own religion. - I was gonna say like, them talking about the Bible and stuff. I was like, this isn't biblical. - [Shayne] No. - And if anything, Christians are like, do not worship anything that isn't Jesus. - Yeah, no, Santa Claus is very much like tech. Would Santa Claus not be sacrilegious in a weird way? Like. - I mean a lot of Christians are like. - Yeah. - [Angela] Don't use santa stuff. - Because it is, it is all based in American, or just based in capitalism. - [Chanse] Consumerism.

- Yeah, it's consumerism. - [Angela] I'm sorry. - Like that's all it is. - What's Christian Christmas decorations? Like, is that just crosses? - Well, a nativity scene is probably the religious. - Okay. - Camels, wise men. - It's like Jesus, it's Jesus focused. And it was always funny, like as a kid, like we were a very like Santa Claus. Like whoa, like Holly Jolly Christmas house. - You were Jolly Ford? - Go to some friend's houses. and it's like, oh, this is religious Christmas house. - Yeah, we had a mix of both. We'd have like Rudolph. sitting next to like a nativity scene.

- We're like TJ Maxx Christmas. - Hell yeah. - [Chanse] Yeah. Yeah. Well, damn. Not much to say. - I just need, I need more information! - When I was a kid for some class, it was either like Sunday school or in something, we made our own nativity scenes. And my mom still has mine to this day. It's the most cursed thing I've ever seen. - Oh, we have to bring in a picture of it. - It's like Jesus is an egg.

- What do you mean Jesus is an egg? - I like rolled up a piece of clay and he's an egg. - Yeah. - [Angela] And the wise men. - [Chanse] Jesus is an egg. - Jesus is an egg. - Jesus is an egg. - Jesus is an egg and God's a bird. (Shayne and Angela laugh). (Chanse applauds). - But I'm gonna bring it in, 'cause it's weird looking. It looks like a Matisse. - A what? - Well, that sounds amazing. - Yeah. - Yeah, that sounds professional. - Anyway, I'm trying. - Did you guys ever get coal? - Did you? - No, but my little brother did. - Really? - Yeah. - Devastating. - Wait, and he got zero gifts?

- He got a couple gifts, but like I got way more, and he had to pull up coal out of a sock. - Oh, I've never heard of that actual, I've never heard a parent. - He (beeps) up bad. - Fully committed to it. - It was a bad year for him. - What did he (beeps) do? - He was just bad at school. He was getting bad grades. It was like a lot of things. - Oh. - [Chanse] Yeah. - Did he fire up the grill? (Crew laughs). - No, that was my stepdad's job. He's not allowed to touch the grill. (Shayne laughs). - I've never heard of anyone actually getting coal. - Yeah.

- Especially mixed with other presents feels really hard. - Yeah, you get like some stuff, that kinda makes it worse. - It feels really rough. Thinking about it now, my brother. - I got one of my exes coal for Christmas. We had broken up and we still got Christmas presents. (Chanse and Shayne laugh). - [Angela] You got him coal? - I got him straight up coal. - [Angela] And that's it? (crew laughs). - Yeah, I got him, like I had written like a nice, really nice note, but I got him coal. (Shayne and crew laugh). I just remembered. I don't think I've ever told you guys. (Angela and Shayne laugh).

- That's great. - It's so (beeps) up. - Crazy. - That is so (beeps) up! - Also, last year I got, yeah, last year I got my ex a Christmas present, but we'd already broken up by that time too. - I remember this. - And then, we like came over to talk, and I like had the Christmas present there. and I was gonna give it to him. And after we talked I was like, Well I'm gonna go on a walk. Do you wanna come with me?". And he is like, "Yeah.". We walked to Whole Foods and I returned his gift. He has no idea. (Shayne and Angela laugh). He walked with me to return his own gift.

(all laugh). I've never told anyone that either. (all laugh). - I've never told anybody that either. - That's so good, I think I might have told you that. Did I tell you that, I told you that. - [Angela] You told me you returned the gift. - Yeah. - Oh my god. I don't know which one's more diabolical. - But I never pulled. - You just gave three (beeps). You just went, "Yeah, my little brother got coal.". - I love that it's a Christmas tradition.

- I think my mom taught me that skill. It's like I got that power from my mom. I was like, oh, you could actually get people coal. for Christmas. Like if they're like bad, if they're bad, get 'em coal. - It's a way to raise kids. and make sure they have good report cards. - [Shayne] I love that. - You can't do it to an adult. - And yet, I did, and it felt great. - [Shayne] I love that you were like. - Felt amazing, I was like, I'm freed. I am freed. - I love that, you were like, "One Christmas I got my ex coal. Oh, but let me one up that.". (group laughs). - "Last Christmas I made him come return it.". - Oh my God!

- He had no idea that that's what we were gonna do. - What are you gonna do this Christmas? - God, they're so gonna clip that, and he's so gonna see that clip. - Oh, that's awesome, that's awesome. - Well let's move on to our next story. Okay. (Shayne sighs). Our next story is a Halloween story. - Yay. - And this is very like, but this is also very like fall, festive story here. - Okay. - All right, Am I the Asshole, October 29th, 2020. - Okay. - "Would I be the asshole if I put a birthday hat. on my neighbor's pumpkin?".

Okay. - Well is it his birthday? - Because it's been out for a year. - "I share a porch. I share a porch with one neighbor, who is notorious for not cleaning up after herself. or her kids. For example, one time there was a broken long board. sitting right in front of their door. that they would step over every day to get into their unit. For seven months they just ignored it, until one day I asked the oldest kid, who's 15,

a 15-year-old boy, to please clean it up. He's a good kid and instantly threw it away. I told him thank you, and that was that. Now I know I could have cleaned it up myself, but I don't wanna assume that they didn't want it. I don't know, maybe it had sentimental value? Plus I constantly clean up the shared porch, throwing away trash, picking up cigarette butts. Sweeping, clearing cobwebs. I have known her to sweep the porch all of one time. in the six years she has lived there. Last year, October, 2019, I bought several small sugar pumpkins. and placed them on my porch next to my jack-o-lanterns.

After Halloween, I threw all of them away. in an unused wooded area next to my apartment complex. so they could decompose. The next day I found one of these sugar pumpkins. back on the porch outside of her door. I know that it was one I had bought. because of the particular markings on it. Okay, weird, but whatever. I'm glad someone is enjoying it. I figured she would throw it away after Thanksgiving, then after Christmas, then after New Year's. Well, it's now been a year and the pumpkin is still there.

It is nasty. It looks like it has practically melted into the porch.". - Oh. - "She has put Halloween decorations all around it. and still hasn't cleaned it up. I think it's gross, but left it there on principle. because I'm tired of cleaning up after a grown woman. We work opposite shifts now, so I never see her. I also don't have her phone number. because she is constantly changing it. I was thinking of leaving her a note, asking her to please clean it up, but I'm worried it will somehow come across as rude. So I think I might have a little fun with it.

I'm considering putting one of those little. pointy birthday hats on it. and a sign saying, 'Happy first birthday' over it. Personally, I think it would be hilarious. and get the point across. But my husband thinks we should just suck it up. and clean it up. Again, I don't want to do so out of principle. So Reddit, would I be the asshole if I celebrated. the pumpkin's first birthday?". Okay, we have a photo of I guess the pumpkin. - [Chanse] Yes! (Angela gasps). - [Angela] Oh my God, I bet it's (beeps) disgusting. - [Shayne] It's basically gone. - [Chanse] That is disgusting.

That is so gross. - Oh, that ruined the yard. - [Chanse] It stained the concrete, probably. - I hate to say it, like I would be someone who would end up cleaning it up. Because I'm like, well that's a health hazard for all of us. I'm like, what's coming out of that now? - And why is it not, "Hey, the pumpkin's rotting. and it smells a little weird. Can you clean them up?". - I mean that's what, hopefully they would listen. and do that. - What's worse than a pumpkin rotting. in front of your door is a pumpkin rotting. in front of your door, holding a sign with a hat on. - [Shayne] Yeah.

- You know what I mean? Like if you put that, that's not going away either. - [Chanse] No. - Like that's gonna be there for a long time. - I can't believe they had a broken longboard. right in front of their door. and they would just step over it for seven months. - That feels like a curse. - It does feel like a curse. - It also just feels like really? Like it took one second when he pointed it out to the kid, the kid was like, "Oh yeah, I'll just throw it away.". It's like, nowhere along the line for seven months, that was an inconvenience. - And I'm like a literal true Libra where I'm like, it needs to, if I clean it up, it's not fair.

Like I get it. - [Shayne] Totally. It's not fair. - It's not fair, but you have to keep, but I'm like, you have to take matters into your own hands. You have no personal relationship to this person. besides just living next to them. You can't tell them that they need to be better. You can't, you know what I mean? Like, it's not. - Straight up, I'm the type of person. that I'm gonna like text them, "Hey, do you mind if I throw this away for you?". Or like, I will go ahead and do it and I'll be like, "Hey.". - And then you'll always be doing that. - Yeah. - [Angela] And that's the point. - Because yeah, realistically it should be like, "Hey, you need to do that.".

But some people, like, some people just frigging don't, man. - And especially if those messes just disappeared. to those types of people. They never really learn the lesson. - Yeah, but I tell them, I'm like, "Hey, I cleaned up your longboard.". Or like, I'm thinking, I'm like, I cleaned out the fridge. or like I did the dishes or whatever. Like, I'm just gonna do it and tell you and you, "Hey, I did this.". - But you're gonna hope that you saying that. will somehow make that change? - I hope, and it never does. - And it doesn't, because clearly they're not bothered by it now. - No. - Like that's the problem, right? It's like, it's one thing.

if someone is also bothered by the mess, but then they're like, "But you need to clean it up.". - Yeah. - It's like, but they clearly, I don't know what's going on where they're, something can be so disgusting right in their area. and they're just like, "Eh, whatever.". - Yeah. - I'm just like, are you not bothered by this? So OP got rid of these pumpkins, and his neighbor got one of those pumpkins, put it on their porch, and then let it rot there forever. - So that's his pumpkin? - It technically, you know what, it is technically his. Well, it's, yes.

I mean obviously he threw it out and then they grabbed it. - [Angela] Yeah, yeah, but that's his pumpkin. - Yeah, I mean it, yeah. I mean it's not even really a pumpkin anymore. - No. - It's a mess of mold and disgusting. - It makes me weirded out that they went into the trash. and repurposed something. - I think was in the woods. - It was in the woods, which is still. - I know, but they don't clean. It feels like just not a, like a. - Well you went into the woods to get a, I don't know. - They went and got it after Halloween. I don't know, unfortunately. - Maybe I'm still in the other story, but I do feel like this is also a curse,

and that that's not good. And they're doing something funky in that apartment. - I like that. - I think unfortunately, I would not wanna see the inside of their house. - Oh hell no. - The verdict is not the asshole. I mean, he's not the asshole for, he could put a hat and a sign. - I don't think it's gonna do much. - He could go way further. and I'd be like, you're not the asshole. You could leave a sign on their door. - [Angela] Yeah. - You could knock and confront them. and be like, "This front porch is disgusting. I understand we share this porch,

and like, technically this is your home sort of, but come on, this is a shared space. This is a health hazard for all of us.". Comments, "Not the asshole, and you can always claim ignorance. if she tries to start crap. I'm assuming you live in town. So while you would be the most obvious/likely culprit, the hat could have been placed there by any neighbor, mail carrier, delivery driver, et cetera, because I'm sure you're not the only one. who has taken notice.". Someone said, "Not the asshole. I'm willing to bet she wouldn't even notice. if you put a hat on it. Give it a day or two with a hat for a good chuckle.".

Someone said, "You would be the asshole. I realize you're frustrated, but you're substituting passive aggressive bullshit. for just having it out with your gross neighbor. Why are you cleaning their half of the porch anyway? Put a mental line between their half and your half. and be done with it. You're going to create problems for yourself. if you do the birthday hat routine anyway. So why not just do the adult thing. and talk to the person directly? Either way, it will be a shitshow. So just get it over with instead of being childish.". Eh, I don't, I don't know. I agree with like, go talk to them.

Like, but I also think I agree with the other comment. I don't think they're gonna even notice. - Yeah. - I think he could. - That's what I'm saying, like that sign could be there. - He could start dumping his trash on their porch. and I think they'd be like, "Oh, I didn't notice.". - Yeah, literally. I think if they put a whole birthday, I don't know, bunch of birthday stuff. - Update. (Angela gasps). He put the birthday stuff on it, and now with different angles, you can really see how gross that pumpkin is. - [Angela] Oh, it's catty as (beeps) though. That's pretty catty. - [Chanse] That is disgust, look at, wait, can I see it again? - The pumpkin's disgusting though.

- [Chanse] Is that just green goop? - [Angela] You know what this is? - [Chanse] No! No, Shayne! - This is me after a shoot block. when it's someone's birthday. (crew member laughs). - That is, this is wrong! That is not right! - Happy birthday! - That's "Resident Evil.". - That is "Resident Evil.". - It is "Resident Evil.". - That's "Resident Evil" right there. - Looks like "Goosebumps" slime. - But also just, I don't know. That happy birthday thing is. - Now seeing it in person, I'm like. - [Angela] It's pretty. - He has a balloon.

He didn't say he was gonna have a balloon. (Crew laughs). - [Angela] The balloon tries too hard. - And that changed things for you? - A balloon and then a sign and all this stuff. It's also really funny. - It's funny, but it's also just like, Jesus, dude. I don't know. - I like it. - It's funny, it's smart. It's like witty. - Yeah, it's good, it's whatever. (Angela laughs). - Is there another update? - No. - [Chanse] What? - That was it, that was it. - I wanna know what they thought! - They probably didn't even notice. - They just did it. They're probably not gonna notice. They had a longboard in front of their door.

that they stepped over for seven months. - They probably didn't even remember. - They're not gonna notice. - That it's their pumpkin. - They probably have no idea. - Literally, they're probably like, "Who put a birthday hat on the pumpkin outside?". - Our next story comes from Relationship Advice. This was posted January 11th, 2025. So earlier this year. - We can put a birthday hat on it. (Shayne laughs). - That was awesome. - This is a 26-year-old woman. She writes, "My boyfriend who's 30. got me "Pokemon" for Christmas and I can't let it go.

Do I call it quits or work it out?". - "Pokemon" what? - Just said, she just said "Pokemon". - Real "Pokemon"? - He bought her "Pokemon". - He got her "Pokemon". We'll see what what he got her exactly. "For context, my boyfriend and I have been together. for three years. Since I've known him, he has always loved "Pokemon". Personally, I have no interest, but as his partner, I encourage his hobbies and support him. This past Christmas we had a few brief conversations. about Christmas budgets, and have mentioned to each other. things we have been wanting.

I knew "Pokemon" packs were on the top of his list, so I made sure to get him some. I mentioned wanting a few beauty products. and a specific hoodie. Well, Christmas comes around and I open my gifts. To my surprise, the first one. was a pack of "Pokemon" cards.". - The what? - "Okay, whatever. The next one was a booster box of "Pokemon" cards. I stop and ask him if he's joking. because this must be a joke, right? Well, he smirks and tells me to keep going. I opened my next gift. It was another booster box of "Pokemon" cards.

He was full of excitement while I opened my gifts. That's it those were my three gifts.". - What? - "I am not, and never have been, interested in "Pokemon". After this, I told him I needed a moment to myself. I went to our bedroom and took a moment. to gather my thoughts and lower my temper. When I came back to the living room, there he was on the floor, both booster packs and the pack of cards he got me. were opened and sprawled across the floor. I was in shock.

Not only did he get me gifts that I didn't want, but he actually got them for himself. and tried to play it off. I have been trying to move past this, as I did not want to seem ungrateful, but I just can't believe he would do something like this. Every time I've tried to bring it up, he has told me how expensive those booster boxes were. and how I made him feel bad for not appreciating my gifts. Am I being ungrateful or is he just a jerk?". - Oh, give it up! - What is this? (Angela laughs). - That's unreal. (Angela laughs).

What is this? - What is this? - What is this? - So he didn't get her gifts. He got himself something and just just said it like? - So what is this, huh? - So what's going on? - Are we breaking up or what? - So, all right. - This is rough, this is rough. I just feel like somehow a lot of people miss, a lot of people miss the meaning of giving gifts, and what that is, and it's a expression of love. - He sounds like a baby. - Yeah, he sounds like a child. - Yeah, but they've been together for three years.

- And he's been alive for four. So what's the? (Shayne laughs) (Crew laughs). - But it's like, you'd think she'd be like, oh, there's stuff in the past that he's done. that's similar to this, but it's like, no, this is. - Do you believe in the three year itch? - The three year itch? - What is that? - I actually dunno if that's the exact title. - I thought it was three month? - I've heard the three year itch. - What's the three year itch? - Maybe it's a seven year or just like, it's when shit gets real. - Oh, see, I've always viewed that as six months.

- Really, six months? - Six months is where it's like, oh, like this relationship is going great. My thought is always like, don't make any big commitments within six months. - Yeah, I agree with that. - But then I would say like, I do think like once you get like, I don't know, it varies per person, but. - Yeah, it always varies, it always varies. - three years is, I feel like, a mark where it's like, once you get past that, it's like, okay, if you move past that and you're doing good. - Three Christmases together to me is enough. to start to see yourself, like just naturally. Like I feel like people get very comfortable,

and sometimes effort is lost. - True, it's true. - No, but I think like with three years, like in my past relationship. it ended shortly after three years, and it was like, oh, we had just stopped. like putting in effort. - Yeah. - And I feel like this is a gift that's like, there's no effort there. It's just like, what? - Yeah, he was completely thinking about himself. Completely self-centered. - Like he deserves jail time.

(Crew laughs). Like I'm barely kidding. - This is the thing. This is one of those stories where it's like, this can't be real. It's like this stuff does really happen. There are people who are like this, but when they do stuff this unbelievable, you're like, what? Like, I don't, you don't even know how to react. She's sitting here like weeks after going, "What do I?". Like he's moved past this. - [Angela] Yeah. - He's acting like this was fine. I wouldn't be able to move past that. You'd expect it's like you're playing a prank on me. There's a lot of layers to this.

It's like there could be the argument of like, oh, he wants her to get into his interests. Like cool. Like that's not a Christmas gift. And she's not into it. You've dated her for three years. She's not into "Pokemon". He opened her gifts, which means they were gifts to himself. That's my big takeaway. Comments. "So you're telling me he's known. and dated you for at least three years. and has never paid attention long enough to get you gifts. you may actually like, and you're questioning if you want to do this. for the rest of your life or not?".

Someone said, "Nah, this is crazy. Even if you wanted this, he then opened your gift.". - Yeah. - That part is unforgivable too. Lastly, someone said, "That's literally insane, and the best possible explanation. is that he's wildly emotionally unintelligent. So if that's what you like, I guess stay with him. ETA, I just registered that this is a 30-year-old man. Sis, why?". Yeah, that's not gonna change. - Yeah. Yeah, this is just unfortunate for everyone involved. - Oh, it's like unbelievable to me.

- It's truly unbelievable. - Like I understand sometimes being like, "Oh, I got us a trip,". and then I get to benefit off of this too. - [Chanse] Sure. - But this is just him. She has expressed no interest in this. It's like. - I would rather get a Roomba. - I would rather get a Roomba. I'd rather get like, I don't know, a teeth whitening coupon. - Absolutely. - Oh, totally. - Like a slap in the face. Not like a, I'm making this about me in my interest. - Yeah. - No, a teeth whitening coupon would be very hurtful. - Probably pretty hurtful. - And I brought it up because my mom did.

kinda give that to me. - I've gotten that too. - Yeah. - And you know what, that's fine. - You know what, that's fine. - Yeah, it's actually good. - Moms do that. Moms are like, "I got you these socks, 'cause I hate your (beeps) socks.". Right, like it's a thing. We see that your socks coordinate with the sweater. - [Shayne] That's pretty cool. (Angela laughs). Our next story is an Am I the Asshole. from November 26th, 2024. So we've got a Thanksgiving one.

- From next year. Oh. - Last year. - [Chanse] From last year. - From next year, 2026. - Stop fighting! - It's Christmas. - It's Thanksgiving. "Am I the asshole for sitting on my husband's lap. during Thanksgiving dinner. because all chairs at the table were taken?". (Angela laughs). What a power play. - That is so funny. - "Well, there's no more chairs.". - [Shayne] "Uh oh.". - "Where am I supposed to? Where's a girl supposed to sit?". - "I guess I'll just.". - Ooh. (crew laughs). - "I, a 28-year-old woman, have been with my husband, Sean,

who's 33, for two years, married for five months. Most of his family are decent people, but his mom can be a little bit of a passive aggressive. and tends to criticize me a lot. I feel like some edits were made in that writing. (Shayne laughs). I feel like she wrote something down. She's like, she can just be a little passive aggressive. - Just chill, be chill. - Delete that. - "Sean sees it as her still not getting used to me. being around, but I don't know, because she treats his ex, Julissa, well. Mother-in-law says that Julissa has been around the family.

for ages, and her past with Sean. never affected her relationship with her. Fine. I never minded her attending every holiday. and being around until yesterday. We had Thanksgiving dinner at my mother-in-law's house. Sean went there before me, and when I arrived it was already dinnertime. Everyone was seated. and I saw that all the chairs were taken. I asked mother-in-law why she didn't save me a seat. and she said sorry, and that one of her granddaughters decided to show up. at the last minute and the chair was taken. I looked at her, then at Julissa, who was sitting next to Sean, and tried to point how I was more deserving of her chair.

since I'm the daughter-in-law. I know I shouldn't have said it. I know, I know. Mother-in-law flat out said. that Julissa is as much family as me. and that it was rude to imply otherwise. Julissa was nodding confidently while glancing at me. I was so upset, I wanted to leave, but decided to just sit on my husband's lap. and act as casual as possible. I sat on his lap asking if he was okay with it. Don't worry, I'm petite, he's strong built, and started eating so casually, while smiling and complimenting the food. and mentioning to Sean how warm and comfortable. his lap was.". - Yes!

- "The table went awkwardly silent. (Angela laughs). Brother-in-law would try to break the silence. and change the subject, but it somehow goes back to being awkward. Mother-in-law and Julissa were barely eating. and were staring at each other, then at me, eyes wide open. Minutes later, Julissa excused herself to the bathroom. and so did mother-in-law. It was still awkward, but I did my best to focus on dinner. Sean was eating as well. Later there was just so much tension, and mother-in-law was barely able to speak. after Julissa left. She left early, like right after dinner.

Sean and I went home, and mother-in-law tried calling, but then called Sean and texted me. saying that what I did was inappropriate. and that I ruined Thanksgiving dinner and made it awkward. She said it wasn't her fault chairs were taken, and I could have dragged a chair from the kitchen, but acted childishly, and made Julissa and family uncomfortable. with how inappropriate I was. Edit, I need to mention that even if I took a chair. from the kitchen, there was not enough space. at the dinner table to fit the chair. Everyone was sitting next to each other.". - Wow. - God, I'd kill to be there.

- I would kill. - Yeah. - [Chanse] To be there. - Just sitting on there being like, "Your lap is so warm.". "Sorry, I feel like I'm seated so high, 'cause your bulge is so huge.". (all laugh). - Well look at that, a natural booster. (all laugh). - "Whoa!". (Angela mimics hydraulic lift). - That's disgusting. - The husband does not. Oh, okay, okay, all right, all right. (Shayne and Angela laugh). - Settle down now, settle down now. - Kids, kids, kids. - [Angela] Kids, kids, kids. (Shayne laughs). - Slow down, I'm not forklift certified.

- No! (Angela and Shayne laugh). - I don't have the DMV license classification for this. (Shayne laughs and applauds). Well, I guess there's a chair. - I don't have a Class D license. - Stick shift. - "Well, I guess if there's no chair for me, I'll sit on my boyfriend's bulge.". (all laugh). - "Oh, my son's new girlfriend, Betty Boop, is here.". - Yeah, yes.

(Shayne and Angela laugh). - Oh, okay. So let's talk about Sean for a minute. - Okay. - So Julissa's Sean's ex. - Yeah, who like, the family's allowing his ex. to come to Thanksgiving dinner. He's tolerating that. - That's number one for me. - It's like, dude, who is allowing this? - [Chanse] Right. - Why is this happening? - Like, "She's a part of the family.". Okay, does she have another family that she? No?

Okay, well, it feels inappropriate. - It's like. - But she's my ex, like she's not, I guess you brought her into the family, but then it's also not sticking up for the wife in a way. It's like, where's my wife's seat? She needs a seat. - Yeah. - [Chanse] Where's it at? It's his mother, it's his mother's house. - And they're married. - [Chanse] They're married! - They're married, so it's like, hey, you're the ex, and you are the ex, like they're married. - What I will say is he's like, okay, maybe he knows there's no fighting with her.

I like that he is like, "Yeah, sit in my lap, babe.". And then I like that they're both eating. and there's no conflict with. - With that. - It feels like they're on a team. - Can I? But the thing that's coming to mind. - Yes. - And I needed to do a visual, could you sit on my lap? - Yeah. - I don't know how, and this is great, right? How is he eating? Right? - Yeah. - So you eat. - So she said, she did say. - So is it like a? - [Chanse] It's gotta be like this. - I imagine, you're seated across, I think it's a little bit more of, she's kind of seated on one leg and like.

- And her other leg on his bulge. - Well, well. (Shayne and crew laugh). - Like that? - She's saying, I'm seeing it. - But where's, how are you? - This is so dramatic to be like. - It is dramatic. But she's saying it's the only option. She's also saying she's petite. and he's like a strong built like bigger guy. So maybe like, she really just comfortably sits. on one of his legs and like. - What is she (beeps) Tinkerbell? - It is awkward. - Yeah, what? (crew laughs). - It is awkward. - Yeah, sure you're petite, but like, what the (beeps)?

What are you, a Polly Pocket. - I'm petite, I'm two feet tall. (Angela laughs). - [Angela] It's just like, ding, ding! - Hey look, another opportunity. I make a borrower joke like every other episode. - Jesus, it's every (beeps) day. - It's always there. This is just like, it's like, man, why is this situation happening? And this is not like, I wanna call this story fake, but this is not the first time. This is one of numerous times I've heard, and from people in real life, of like exes being part of the family. - Yeah. - I'm like, how does this happen?

- Yeah. - But it happens a lot. - I mean it does, it really does. - It makes more sense. It makes sense to me in my experience. when there's kids involved, because it's like. - Yeah, oh. - We're not gonna separate the parents from the kids. - Yeah, I get that, I get that. - But there's no kids involved, - No kids. This is an ex-girlfriend as far as we know. And now he's married. It's like at some point you gotta be like, hey, like, I'm sorry, you guys broke up. - It's a control thing too. It's like our families need to, like boundaries and not controlling each other's lives.

when it comes into, like, dating is such a thing. we see all the time on Reddit. - It's pretty awful, but there are so many stories. of like families who are like, no, we're gonna make you marry this person. - Was she late? - I will say it's an interesting thing. that they started, that she was late to Thanksgiving, that they didn't go together. - Yes. - She and her husband didn't go to Thanksgiving, but we don't know the situation. - Okay, like, you never know. - It could be, but she showed up. and they had already started dinner. So already I feel like the family's just not respecting her. - Yeah. - Like we're gonna start without you. - I wouldn't even sit unless all parties are there.

- Yeah, agree. - This is one of those things, man, where it's like, hey, like my wife is part of the family now. - Yes. - If you're not respecting her, you disrespecting her is disrespecting me. And if you're gonna disrespect us on that level, like I will not come to Thanksgiving. Like, man. - I can see. - You tolerate it, you're saying like, you're kind of giving it the okay. - Yeah. - I can see reality where there was a set time, I'm not hearing any of that from this story, but I can see, but I'm also not hearing, like, I'm not hearing it.

So it might have been omitted. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Just on the person telling's point of view. - I think OP gives a little bit more details. in the comments. So let's see. The verdict, not the asshole. - No, definitely. - Comments, "Not the asshole, but the whole ordeal could have been avoided. had your husband done what he should have done. and given you his seat while he went to fetch another one. In fact, he should have already had an empty seat. beside him waiting for you. I can't imagine putting my wife. in such an awkward situation.". 72,000 upvotes. Yeah, that sums it up so well.

So that comment had 72,000 upvotes. and the story itself had 10,000 up votes. - That's like what Chanse writes something really funny. on my Instagram posts. - Ah. - He gets a lot of likes on his comedy. - Yeah. Someone commented on that saying, "Why is the husband okay with his ex being treated better?". Someone said, "Not the asshole, I feel like I missed something. Does he have children with his ex. who she brought to Thanksgiving dinner? Minus that, I have no clue what she was there for.". OP says, "No, they were friends, and both families were close. Then they started dating, then broke up,

but still maintained a decent relationship. However, mother-in-law is somehow acting. like they're still together. But she denied all that, saying that she just treats her as a daughter, and also told me I have zero say in how she treats others, which is fine by me really, but when I'm being treated as less than, I find issues with her treatment. On another note, my husband says he can't figure out. this problem between me and his mom. He thinks that we're both wrong.". - What? - Oh (beeps). - "Both of you ladies are wrong.".

- "You are both crazy. So emotional.". - Someone said under that, "Sounds like your husband is a selfish guy. He didn't find it odd that you had to sit on his lap. at Thanksgiving? He didn't find it odd that his ex was sitting happily. and his wife wasn't? He doesn't seem to respect you much, to be honest.". Lastly, someone said, "Not the asshole. Mother-in-law suggests after the fact. that OP could have dragged a chair from the kitchen. It was mother-in-law's job as host to do that herself. Failure to do so was an obvious attempt. to make OP ill at ease.

Op responded delightfully. It was mother-in-law's fault. that it turned out the way it did.". - Oh my God, you know this is giving? Boy mom's episode of "Bit City.". - [Angela] Yeah. - Like exactly. - This is, this is Amanda's Karen. - [Angela] Yeah. - No, like straight up. - Yeah. - That's crazy. - I also don't know, maybe I'm a people pleaser, but like if I invite someone over. and there's not a chair for them, like I'm not standing for it. Like I don't wanna make that person feel that uncomfortable. Like I don't even want 'em to sit on my lap. I'm like, let's leave. - Yeah, I've just simply never been around people like that.

- Yeah. - Right, 'cause like if I don't like someone, if I'm with people and I'm like, we don't like this person, we're not inviting them. - [Chanse] Yeah. - Because like, I'm not gonna invite someone to a dinner. and then on purpose make it awkward for them. I'm like, I don't wanna sit there with that. Like, that sucks. - I'm so like problem solver oriented in those situations. where I'll be like, "Oh, you can have my chair. and I'll find like something," like I will, like it doesn't matter who it is.

- Totally. - If I'm sensing it's that awkward, I'm like, oh, I really don't need this that bad. if it will be less awkward now. - Right? - Definitely, 100%. - You could also, there's another power move, instead of sitting on his lap, it's just standing. I'll stand. - Yeah. - The whole dinner. And she's like, like how awkward. - Pass the cranberries? - Yeah, like literally. - Ugh, like circling the table. - Yeah, it's just like walking around. like it's a cocktail hour. - Oh my god. - I kind of love that. Walking around with like a turkey leg. - And she's like, "Pass the salt.". - Walking around like it's the beginning of "Traders.".

- Yeah. And she's like, "So what's this picture?". - Joining different conversations. - Just like grabbing people's wine. Just be like, "Mm, that's good.". - [Angela] "That's nice. Is this a, what is this? Oh, nice.". - Our last story, it is a Today I (beeps) Up. This is another October one. October 27th, 2024. - Okay. - Today I (beeps) up passing gas on the dance floor. - Okay. - Not really Halloween. - It happens. - Well Halloween has a lot of dancing.

- Lot of dancing. - I think parties. - Okay, so what, you farted during the "Monster Mash.". (Crew laughs). (Chanse applauds). So what, so what. - That was the "Monster Mash.". - I think we've all farted. - [Both] During the "Monster Mash.". - That's part of the actual monster mash, right? "I'm a female in my mid thirties. Last night I went out for a Halloween dance party. I worked really hard on my costume. I was the perfect combination of warm and slutty. and I was excited to strut my stuff. (Chanse applauds). - Warm? - And slutty. - [Angela] But warm? - Probably wherever they're at,

they're probably like in a colder climate. - Oh, got it, got it, got it, got it. - Warm, so like. - Oh, you meant like hot, like. - I was just like, huh? - Yeah. "The way that this bar is set up. is that there is a main level upstairs. and then you can walk downstairs to go to the dance area. It's a pretty small place, so it gets crowded. I had taken some mushrooms earlier in the evening. and I was feeling good. At some point in the night, I had to cut the cheese. I thought it would be a small one. I thought I could just crop dust it, but it was the most silent, deadly, toxic, foul stink bomb of my life.

- I'm so sorry, can we hold, what's crop dust? - Crop dusting is when you kinda like move through a space. So you like, kinda like, like you're gonna fart, but you're gonna keep on the move, so that you're not standing still. - So you can't be associated with it. - So when smell happens, it's like, oh, well I'm past there. - What's? - Do you know what actual crop dusting is? - No. - It's like when a plane flies over. and drops like pesticides or shit. - And then it keeps going? - And it keeps going. - Yeah, so it like, it drops stuff onto a field. So you're crop dusting. - [Chanse] Angela learning what crop dusting is. - You've never heard of crop dusting before? - Oh no! - You've crop dusted.

- [Shayne] Oh, everyone's crop dusted. - Shut the (beeps) up! (Shayne laughs). This mother (beeps) the other day on a live stream. goes, "She's obsessed with Olaf.". (Shayne and crew laugh). I'm so sick of it. I was like, that's more damaging than Tow Mater! - He's accusing you of liking Olaf. and I'm making fun of you for liking Tow Mater. - He's like, "God, she's obsessed with that guy.". (Shayne laughs). - She has the plushies and everything. - Shut the (beeps) up, no I don't!

- You're kind of the Olaf of Smosh. (crew laughs). Thanks dude, thanks dude. Oh God, sorry. That was a three hit combo. - Do you mind if I sit on Bailey's lap? I don't feel comfortable. - Just don't crop dust on your way over there. She's. (Shayne wheezes). - This place is a war zone! (Crew laughs). - Sorry. - Just drive a truck through this please. - All right, I will say man, like it's one of the best parts of Disneyland, right?

It is like you're walking around all day, you're eating gross foods and it's like, hey, if you gotta fart, like you wait till you're like, you're in the zone, you're in the crowd, and it's just like. - [Both] That's one of of the best parts of Disneyland? - It kind of is. - Like so much food, so many good shows. - It's magical. - That's the best part of Disneyland? - You're walking past the line for Star Tours. and it's like, sorry guys. (Shayne laughs). - Have you been to a mall? - I'm giving you guys a little bit of a tour, myself. - You guys, oh, I wanna get a season pass there. so I can fart.

Like, what are you talking about? (Angela laughs). "God, I love Disneyland, I can fart wherever I want.". - When you're in line for "Indiana Jones,". there's that rope pull and you're like, you gotta time it perfectly, so you make the sound. - What? (Shayne blows raspberry). (Shayne laughs). You guys wouldn't get it. - No, I wouldn't because I don't fart. I sealed my butthole shut. (Shayne laughs). - And I'm a girl. - [Shayne] Yeah. (Angela laughs).

- [Angela] Okay, okay. - All right, all right. "At some point in the night I had to cut the cheese. I thought it would be a small one. I thought I could just crop dust it. But it was the most silent, deadly, toxic, foul stink bomb of my life. The smell from my ass destroyed the dance floor. People cleared out. It was so bad people thought that someone had an accident. on the floor. Like they turned up the lights a little bit to see. and make sure that there wasn't a health hazard. (Angela laughs).

Even the DJ made a comment.". - No way. - "I went upstairs because I couldn't stand the smell. of my own ass. I was up there for about 30 minutes, and when I came back down I could still smell my ass.". (Shayne laughs). - Whoa. - "It's all anybody could talk about. They thought someone had an accident. I had to play dumb. I was so embarrassed.". All right, this reminds me. of one of our live shows, unfortunately. - Of Tommy. - It wasn't Tommy. - Oh, oh, oh, I'm thinking of the Tommy VidCon part. - The Tommy VidCon.

(crew laughs). - There was a live show. There was a live show we had, it was a Christmas live show. where before we went on, we were in like our like waiting room rehearsal area, and someone farted, and it was so bad that everybody cleared out. - So no, I thought it was Tommy. - It was not Tommy. - I thought it was Ian. - It was not Ian. - It was Jeremy Elder, it was Jeremy Elder, it was Jeremy Elder! - I thought we got a confession. - It was Jeremy Elder, we got a confession. - Yeah. - Oh, that's right, that's right. - Yeah, Jeremy Elder, "Business Casual" podcast. Go check it out. - Yeah, go check it out. - If we're gonna do him dirty.

- if we're gonna talk about him farting, go check out his podcast. - If we're gonna do him dirty like that, you gotta go check out his podcast. - That's hilarious. - This reminds you of that time that guy ripped ass. Go check out his podcast. - Go check his podcast. Angela was on an episode, I was on an episode, Corey was on an episode. (Angela laughs). Anyways, but it's horrendous. It's happened a few times in my life. where like I'm in a group setting and someone farts. and it's like unfortunately horrible. (group laughs). And everyone's like, "We gotta go!". And like in those situations, nobody admits to it.

- Yeah. - [Angela] Everyone cleared the room. - There been been a couple times in my life where it happens. and then like probably back in like elementary school. and stuff like that happens. And it's just like, hoo. - The DJ turning the lights. - The DJ commenting on it and the light's being turned up. - Like, "Hey, did someone pass out? We're just checking.". - Also the fact that she came back 30 minutes later. and it was still bad. It's like, hey, maybe something did happen. - Something's wrong. - Oh. - [Shayne] Something's not good. - Something's wrong, and it isn't St. Nick. - Nice call back.

- From the, yeah. - Yeah. - It's okay. Keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, shh, keep going, keep going, keep going. Keep going. Hey, shh, they're gonna cut all of this out. Keep going, keep going. Keep going. - Cut this out! (Angela grumbles). (Angela and Shayne laugh). - Okay, ready. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(Shayne chortles). It might be on that one. Keep going, keep going, keep going. (Angela laughs). - Our audio listeners are like, "What the (beeps) is happening?". Guys, I told you, it's Friday evening. - Woo! - Oh my God. - Keep going, just keep going, keep going. (Angela laughs). - One of us has a bad joke, we gotta keep it going. - "Oh my god, did someone fart?". Just keep going, just keep going. - Keep (beeps) walking. - [Shayne] Keep going, keep walking. - We have to go to Splash Mountain. Just keep Walking.

- Splash Mountain? We went to Splash Mountain. - Go to Splash Mountain. All right, they re they rebuilt it. It's not Splash Mountain anymore. We just keep going. - Just keep going, it's like some (beeps) thing, "Moana" thing. - Tiana's Bayou Adventure. - Yeah, but it's still called Splash Mountain. - No, Tiana's Bayou Adventure. - They changed the name? - Yeah. - [Chanse] Tiana's Bayou Adventure. - Wow. - Who is that lady? Remember that's the ride that was like, "Who is that lady?". That was. (Angela laughs). - This is when Angela's like, "Well I'm not going to Disneyland now!". - "Who is that lady, mama? Mama, what?". (Shayne laughs).

- Chanse and I went on Tiana's Bayou Adventure. and he just was taken by a woman that was like a. - Mama Yay Yay, or whatever her name is. (Shayne, Angela, and crew laugh). I love her. - It was so funny, but you kept calling her. - So it was like, Mama Yay is not her name. I don't know what her name name is. - And you were like, "That's my choir teacher.". - No, it's my African dance teacher. (Shayne laughs). She reminds me of her, they look just alike. They do! And the vibes are like right there, like, "Come on!".

We had Mama Yay Yay. - And he went, "Look it's Mama Yay Yay!". On the ride, and we're like, who? - I thought, I couldn't remember, I confused them. - Comments, "Years ago I was in a big record store. with no one else there but the staff. I let a silent but deadly go while I was browsing. It was so bad that I had to move over a couple of aisles. A minute later, two teenage girls came into the store. and walked right into my cloud. and immediately started gagging and coughing. It was hard not to laugh.". - Oh wow.

- Oh wow. (Angela laughs). - Okay, can I confess something too? - Did you fart during this episode? - I feel like, no, I didn't. I have this curse though, where I'm out in public, like I'm at a grocery store, I'm like somewhere. I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna, I gotta fart a little bit. I'm just gonna like fart really quick. That's when suddenly someone just walks my way. and they're just like, someone happens to be like. - Shayne Topp from Smosh? - "I wanna check out this aisle too!". And I'm like, uh! - Don't! - [Shayne] Yeah.

- Someone told me teens don't find farts funny anymore. - I heard that too. - Or was that you that told me that? - God. - No, I didn't say that, but I heard that. - Tech is ruining everything! Just keep, just keep going. (Chanse laughs). Just keep going. - It's how you look off to nothing. - Keep going, keep going. (Shayne laughs). Nobody said anything. They're gonna cut that all out. Come on, keep going. Kick the ball. Keep the ball up, kick the ball, keep going. - Keep the ball, keep going. - "I shared this once before on Reddit,

many years ago. I was at work after a night of drinking. My stomach was seriously rebelling. I waited till the ladies' room was empty, ran in, unloaded the most horrific load and ran out.". - Load? - "Maybe 10 minutes later a coworker innocently asked. if I had been in the ladies room this morning, to which I innocently replied no. She started ranting so loudly. that the entire office got involved discussing it. She said if someone had to do something that disgusting, they should have gone home to go.

It was the talk of the office for weeks.". - Oh my gosh. - Someone else said, "What's a little embarrassment. when you can give so many Redditors a good laugh?". Yeah. - And that's what we're all here for, guys. - And that's what we're here for. Thank you for clearing the dance floor. (Angela laughs). - [Chanse] Yeah. - She did kill the dance floor. - [Chanse] Yeah, she did. - I told you that story. I think I said it at a live show, when my brother had farted in the car. and my dad was so pissed off that he farted in the car. and he kicked him out, made him walk home. - That's awesome. - I still love that your brother ran and jumped.

and farted in one of your aunt's faces. (Angela blows raspberry). - What? - Like my friend, or was like my babysitter, I don't remember. She was like sitting next to him. and was like, "Fart coming.". Jumped. The second he landed up, boom, down. - That's amazing. (Shayne gasps). Incredible. - Your brother's the Tony Hawk of farting, dude. Like he's the GOAT. - No, but how funny is it that we were like, literally we were like five houses down, and my brother farted and my dad was like, "John!". And pulls over, he goes, "Get out!".

(Shayne laughs). And my brother was like, "But our house is right there.". He goes, "Walk home.". - That's awesome. - And then we were pulling away. and in the rear view mirror I just see him like. (Shayne laughs). - Oh my God, dude, oh. - What a holiday. - Damn, I can't believe your brother's Bart Simpson. (Angela laughs). - Yeah, he is, he is. - Oh, okay. Well happy holidays. - Happy holiday. - Happy holidays. - Happy Thanksgiving, happy fall, happy Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanza.

- Hope you guys enjoyed that. Hope you're having a good holiday season. Hope Halloween was cool, hope Thanksgiving was cool. - And you know what? Go sit on your husband's bulge. - No, no. (Shayne laughs). - Get your pancakes out. - [Shayne] Just keep going. - [Angela] Just keep goin. - The battle of bulge. Anyway. (Shayne laughs) (Crew laughs). - Keep going, keep going. - Just end the episode, end the episode. - Just keep going, keep going. - It's gonna be fine. - Thank you guys for watching. Let us know what are the themes and subreddits.

you'd like to see, and we'll see you next Saturday. - [All] Bye!