Am I Safe??? | Reading Reddit Stories

- Welcome back to more Reddit stories. I'm Shane, and today I'm joined by Ian and Amanda. - Hello. - Happy to be here. - Thank you, Ian. The theme today is, am I safe? And by that I mean there's a lot of people in this. who think they're chill, who think they're cool, but they're the type of people that you're like, I should not hang out with you. - Why was I invited on this episode specifically? - Yeah, also, wait, I know why I was invited. because I can tell you that you're not safe. - You make everybody-.

Yeah, yeah and you make everybody feel safe. - It's true because I-. - Unless they, unless they don't like physical touch. - Yeah, which I learned pretty quickly. And then I go, I need to stop touching everybody. - So we're gonna read through these. and at the end we're gonna kind of vote on. who we think is the least safe person. out of all of these stories. - Okay. - Here we go, our first story. Am I the asshole for making my 16-year-old son. drink an 18 pack of beer that he stole?

I'm sorry. - I mean I already see the thought process. That dude is like cigarette. because they do that with cigarettes. - [Amanda] Yep. - Cigarettes and beer are not the same thing. Okay. - I think this is Peter Griffin who-. - [Ian] Yeah. - wrote this. Okay, my 16-year-old son started his senior year this week, this last weekend of summer we agreed to let him go. to a friend's house. We've been quarantined all summer along with his friend. This was written in 2020, August of 2020. - Got it. - His parents are our friends, they're serious about sickness.

It was supposed to be just them two. They parents being out of town. and they were supposed to be just playing video games. Well, that's not what they had planned. They planned a little get together. with only like five people. I found this out after I found the 18 pack in my fridge. in the garage this afternoon. Turns out my kid stole it from the gas station. and put it there until the get together. started a few hours later. I went to the gas station and confirmed he stole it. I paid them and made sure they didn't press charges,

which cost me an extra $100. I figured this is the most expensive beer. I've ever paid for, so we might as well drink it, right? I parked his ass on the couch right next to me. as we shared beer after beer of his stolen 18 pack. We just watched NBA games like we normally do, except this time I wasn't the only one drinking beers. By beer three he was noticeably intoxicated. He threw up at beer seven, but he still seemed coherent. My wife asked me to stop at this point, which I would have, but my son literally yelled from the bathroom,

(beep) him, I'm good. By beer nine he was throwing up again and crying for mommy. She babied him to sleep with water and snacks, then made him breakfast in bed the next morning. I told him to wake the (beep) up. and weed whack the backyard. We are a few days removed from this. and my wife is still really mad at me. She says, this is what teenagers do. and my response was way too harsh. Apparently we should have just grounded him. - Yes. - [Shane] Yeah, I mean he committed a crime. - Okay, okay. - Whoa, there's so much to unpack here.

- I wanna back it up. I wanna back it up even more. So did the gas station person like extort him. for more money? - I was gonna say, was he like Yeah, and also $100. - Yeah, 100 give me, yeah. An 18 pack, yeah, but gimme $100 or I'm calling the cops? - I mean, yeah, he did blackmail him, but he also, I guess the dad did basically let the guy know. like, oh, my son stole it. So then, then the gas station guy. did have probably the means to press charges. - That was smart. That was smart on him. - The dad did save money by probably avoiding all of that.

It's still kind of-. - Yeah. - It is sketchy. - Yeah. And also like, I'm sorry, but it sounded like his dad was like. setting his son up for a good time. Like a good chill hang sesh with him. - Yeah. - I know, it's like," Hey, you did this bad thing, you stole something from a gas station. Now we're gonna drink beer and watch NBA.". - Yeah. - Like what? - Yeah. - I will say I'm not super shocked by this. because I feel like I've heard a lot of parents. doing this back in the day. Like I definitely got pulled over.

and they made us pour out every beer can, but this was the cops, they didn't make me like sit and drink it, but like, honestly, I think growing up, I've known parents to do that. Here's my only issue is that your kid. could get alcohol poisoning. - Yeah. - So after he throws up once, it's like you're done. and yes, wake up and weed whack. - [Shane] Yeah. - That's probably what I would do. I would be like, alright, four. - I mean, I don't know. - I don't know though, because that's so risky. Alcohol poisoning.

- Yeah. - Well it's also you're giving alcohol to a minor. You're also forcing alcohol to a minor. - Yes! - There's a lot of levels to this. - When you say minor, this makes it sound way worse. - Well, because it is way worse. - I feel like it's like a felony. I think it's like multiple felony, like-. - Nine beers is a lot of alcohol. and we don't even know what kind of alcohol this is. because- - Probably shitty light beer. - It's probably like Bud Light Bud or something. - Yeah, like Bud Light. - But Nine Bud Lights? I get the argument of like the European style.

of like, oh well, like a beer or wine with dinner. but that's, that is so different. than getting your kid drunk. - Well, he stole it which makes me think that. he maybe is, it's very strict. Like why did he st-. - Well, he stole it 'cause they probably didn't. have anyone who-. - You can't buy it. 'cause he is 16. - Dude, I'm gonna stop there. - How did you get alcohol when you were teen? Not that we're trying to teach people. how to get alcohol illegally, but how did you get alcohol when you were a teen?

- I had older sisters. We look a lot alike, but my parents were very- - Yeah. - they were more open about that. But I don't think my parents would ever make me. sit and chug alcohol. - [Ian] No, that's disgusting. - They'd be like, you know what? They'd probably bring me back to the gas station. and go, this is my daughter, she stole this. What does she have to face? That's probably what my mom would do. - Yeah. - Realistically. - I just don't, I just don't understand like, the dad drank the beers too?

- No, the dad has a problem. I mean-. - Yeah, that's weird. It's like-. - [Shane] It's weird. - It's like you're trying to like train your kid. to become an alcoholic where he's like, "No, no, keep drinking.". - [Amanda] Yeah. - Some comments here, you're the asshole. If a child is throwing up. from the amount of alcohol they drink, it's time to stop. I know you want to act all macho before your son, but giving him alcohol poisoning. isn't the way to go about it. - [Amanda] Yeah. - Neither is permanent brain damage or a coma. Just take his electronics away next time or something. Or make him pay the hundred bucks, you know, be a parent or something.

- Ooh. - Someone else said you're the asshole and an abuser. for deliberately trying to give your son alcohol poisoning. and jeopardizing his life. Had he needed medical help, you'd be charged. with child abuse or endangerment at minimum. Someone else said, you're the asshole. He should not have stolen beer but that doesn't mean. you should potentially give him alcohol poisoning. or brain damage. Alcohol is rather harmful to those whose brains. have yet to fully develop, which is around the age of 25. I'm not going to tell you how to parent, but I really don't think. that putting a child's health in danger. is the right thing to do. O.P. responded to that saying, oh, thanks for your post.

Are you aware of any studies that you can provide to show. that one time drunkenness for a 16-year-old. could lead to brain damage? - Oh. - 420 down votes, yo! - This guy is out for blood. - To just be like, all right, we're both gonna drink nine beers. Is like what? Like that's crazy behavior. - Yeah. Yeah. - Well he said they split it. so beer seven still seemed coherent, by beer nine he was throwing up again and crying for mommy. She babied him to sleep. So they both drank nine beers.

So I think the dad also, in my mind, dad also saw it as an opportunity to be like, I can drink nine beers as well. - It seems that way. - Yeah. - No, it's horrible. - Also crying. It's clear that he's like passing on. maybe something. - Because as a parent, if I found out my son. drank nine beers, that's also worth like being like, Hey, we need to sit down and talk. - I'd be like, whoa! - I'm like, you're not, you should never drink that amount. Like, you know, 'cause I agree, when someone's a teenager.

you can't just be like, you cannot drink alcohol. I can prevent you. I can control you. - Yeah, then they're gonna go. - But it's like, hey, if you're gonna not listen to, if you're gonna go around our backs. and do stuff that teenagers do sometimes-. - [Amanda] Yeah. - be safe. - [Ian] Yeah. - Like be smart about it. 'cause you can die. You can get super messed up-. - [Amanda] Yeah. permanently from even one night. - I Just think he should have, he completely missed all the steps of like. make him pay, make him work and pay and apologize to-.

- It's not a bad punishment if you think about it of like, if he wakes up, hung over at weed whacks, he'll be fine by the next night he's 16. and then he is just like, he kind of got away with it. - Correct. - Yeah. - It's insane. Stupid. - It's weird. - Alright, next story. I don't feel safe around that Dad. - Nope. - Nope. - Am I the asshole for adding olive oil. to my girlfriend's meals? - Oh, oh no. - What? - Oh no, I think I know where this is going. - Really? - I feel like, well I feel like we've seen,

I feel like we've seen these guys before. - Okay. - Oh. - I, a 24-year-old male have been with my girlfriend Mari, a 22-year-old woman for two years. Mari is a fitness buff. She's all about healthy eating exercise and weightlifting. and I love that about her. The problem started a few months ago. Mari used to have really bad body image problems. around when we first started going out. It was harmful, bad for her and bad for her mind. She's taken incredible strides. to fix her body image problems such as therapy. and slowly incorporating more food into her meals.

She hasn't had a flare up of those problems. for the last year and I'm very proud of her. However, as of late I feel that her body image problems. have flared up with some changes in her lifestyle. She wakes up at 5:00 AM every day to go on a run, her portions are considerably smaller. and she goes weightlifting five days a week. with Pilates on the other two. To me it seemed that her intense and strict regimen. was from her body image problems. because she shed off the curves she gained. when she started her recovery. I really liked her curves and she's become rather lean now. I voiced my concerns to her.

and she told me that she's currently on a cut. following her bulk. This is where I might be the asshole. I was still very worried about her, so I started sneaking olive oil into her meals. I do a majority of the cooking, but she preps the ingredients for her meals. Weighs and measures for macros in her tracking app. She isn't allergic or anything, but I've been adding enough. to add a considerable amount of extra calories. This has been going on for about three months. and she's frustrated that she's plateaued in her progress. and even gained a bit of weight.

That is until she found the empty olive oil bottles. in the garbage bin. Mari does the grocery shopping. and she asked me about the bottles. There were about five from this week. - Oh my God! - That is so much. God, their toilet must be insane. - I just love the plural, bottles and five? - [Shane] Five bottles. - [Amanda] Keep going. - Because she does not recall buying. or even seeing olive oil in our cabinets. I usually sneak the bottles off to dispose of them. but hadn't had the chance. So I came clean and told her.

that when I cook I add some olive oil. and just didn't tell her. She got very upset with me and asked why I would do that. I told her that I voiced my concern. about her fitness obsession many times, but she brushed me off. So as her partner, I took measures into my own hands. She's currently staying at her sister's. How I saw it was that I was protecting my partner. from another downward spiral, but my brother, who is a gym rat, said that I was an ass. for doing that to her regardless of my concerns. Am I the asshole? Edit, the bottles are really small. I wasn't forcing her to suck back.

a 500 milliliter bottle daily. I do believe as well that two of the empty bottles. were left over from the last time. Still. - Dude, if you're gonna sneak olive oil in, what else are you gonna sneak into her food? - Yeah. - That's controlling as F. - Yeah. - This is the flip side of, I mean the other one. was arguably worse, but we had the guy. who was putting sawdust in his-. - Yeah, that's what I was thinking of. - In his what? - But this is not the first time that we've had boyfriends. trying to like (beep) with their partner's food.

- Well, and the major tell and he only hid it in there. in one sentence was he was like, I really liked her curves. and now they're going away and it's like-. - Yes. - and it's like, oh okay this is a you thing. Like this is you. - Absolutely. - And you're like, I'm gonna take her health into my hands. and also not tell her and also think about like. then she's gonna be questioning her diet. and probably trying to cut in other places-. - And then flare up even more. - Yeah. - [Shane] Yeah.

No that's-. - This makes me crazy. - She will probably break up with him. because if she has in this story broken up with him. because how frustrating is that? 'cause you know, you can question like whether it's healthy. or not to be working out that amount, but she is putting in that work. and she's been frustrated for months. at like not seeing the results that she's been putting in. Her partner was sabotaging her work. and not telling her. It's so insane. - How much olive oil are we talking? - Yeah. - [Shane] A lot of olive oil.

- Must be, it's gotta be a lot. - [Shane] Alright. - It's gotta be a lot. - Yeah. - Let's see if there's answers in the comments here. You're the asshole. Huge. This only hurts her and will likely make. an unhealthy relationship she has with food even worse. - Yep. - In the comments he says he only adds. three to four tablespoons ish per meal. That's a lot. And he puts it in her protein shake too. - Ooh. - Eww. - They don't recommend more than one to two-ish. tablespoons a day for olive oil. So he's at least tripling the recommended amount.

Protein shaken dinner more if he's doing this to lunches. and snacks and excess olive oil can cause diarrhea, acne, rashes and if he's using too much, it can actually possibly trash your kidneys. or cause low blood pressure that can lead to fainting. And that's in addition to sabotaging her mental health. and setting her back in her recovery. And now she'll have trust issues with people. or maybe just boyfriends handling her food. Jesus (beep) Christ. Lastly, someone said, did it ever occur to you. that the next step for her. could have been cutting calories even more?

You might have endangered her to relapse. into unhealthy habits. She wanted to be leaner and you manipulated her diet. to make her gain weight because why? You like her more curvy? How about supporting her for making healthier choices. and being proud of her? You deliberately sabotaged her. I'm concerned for your relationship, but even more for her mental health. You're the asshole, my dude. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I just looked it up. Four tablespoons of olive oil. is almost 500 calories that he's-. - Oh it's an absurd amount. No, for real, like I meal prep for my whole week.

and when I'm like meal prepping for my whole week, I'm using less than four tablespoons of olive oil. So that's like a week of olive oil. - [Ian] Yeah. - He's also putting it in her protein shake. so it's not even being cooked. - That's disgusting. - It's not even being cooked like, none of it's burning off, that's just pure olive oil in that. That's disgusting. It's a lot. It's too much of a daily-. - I hate to compare this to murder, but I'm gonna, because so many partners sneak in little bits of like poison. into their partner's food to slowly kill them.

I know that sounds insane. - Yeah. - But if you can sneak something into someone's food. for that many months because you want them to, you want to have power over them to do something you want, I mean, that's like a, it's a gateway drug, olive oil. - It's so, it's so vulnerable. It's so vulnerable to be like, Hey, I was slipping in something. that you are putting in your body. Like that's just-. - Insane. - Scary. And also like, it's so weird because like. this is something that maybe could have been overcome.

with like a single conversation about like, hey, like I'm concerned about your health. - [Amanda] Yeah. - You say you're cutting blah blah blah. Like you can have a conversation about it. and that maybe you could figure something out. - And he did talk to her. I voiced my concerns and she told me. that she's currently on a cut following her bulk, which is a thing people do. - [Ian] Yeah. - I mean he doesn't really talk extensively. of feeling like I think she's in danger. I think her body's in danger. He mentions the curves.

I think my theory and I mean we don't know these people, but my theory, same with the other stories we've gotten. is like, no, you wanted to control her body. - He's way less safe. - You wanted more attracted, you want her body to look a way. that is more attractive to you. - He wants control over her. - Yeah. But you don't get to control people's bodies. and also, even if she did have a severe problem, even if it was dangerous and people were like, oh man, this-. - Get a professional. - but you don't, you don't do this.

- No. - This isn't gonna help. That is a psychological. - Weird. - It's a psychological thing. and if you don't treat the psychological aspect of it, you're not fixing it. Verdict is asshole. - [Amanda] Def. - Not surprised. - [Ian] Yeah. - Any story of someone manipulating someone's food. and not telling them, immediate asshole. - [Amanda] Yep. - [Ian] Yeah. - No matter what it is. - For results that they want. - Yeah, no matter what. - Or they think the partner wants. - Yeah. - [Ian] Yeah. - Alright. - Well maybe better than the sawdust guy. - Oh, better than sawdust. But that's a, that's a real low bar.

Okay, so we think that guy's worse than the dad? I trust that that guy's like a poisoner. from Game of Thrones. - Yes, exactly. - He's little finger. - Yeah. - All right, next story. Am I the asshole for convincing my best friend. to kick out two drunk women after his birthday party? Okay. My friend hosted his birthday. at his apartment yesterday night. There was a lot of booze and a lot of people. The party started at around eight and went on till 1:00 AM. by about 1:30 in the morning,

most people had gotten their way home. There were a few different designated drivers. except for a small group of women. I will admit I made the jungle juice a little stronger. than I intended, but I was not trying to get anyone drunk. You made jungle juice. - No. You're looking to get everybody wasted. - If you make jungle juice, people are expected to get drunk. - Oh my god. - In fact, I hate being around women. They just make me very uncomfortable. and I like to have a few other non drunk. female witnesses around whenever I'm near a drunk woman. - Oh. Oh. I already don't feel safe around this person. Same. - Well, if I was a woman, I wouldn't feel safe.

- Same. - I was too drunk to drive. and these two drunk girls were not having a good time. They were hurling in the toilet. My friend offered to let the three of us crash at his place. They were fine with it, but I was immediately uncomfortable. I pulled my friend aside. and asked if we really needed to let them stay. He said, yeah, he got an air mattress just for this reason. I tried to be upfront about it. These two girls were very drunk. and were not as drunk as me and him. I said, it'd make me very uncomfortable. to have to spend the night with these women. It took some convincing, but eventually. I got 'em to kick these girls out. They were upset, but it's not really either of our faults.

that they didn't prepare. They somehow got home so they were fine. Come morning, one of these girls was blowing up my phone. telling me that I was a huge dick. to convince him to not let them stay. A bunch of people are saying I need to apologize, but honestly I feel like it's not something. I need to apologize for. I voiced that I was uncomfortable with them being there. and my friend wanted me to feel more comfortable. There's nothing bad about that. If there is, then kick me up. - Okay. First of all, this guy is uncomfortable. 'cause he's uncomfortable with what he will do.

- Yeah. - That's what I see. - Yeah. - He's uncomfortable because he's like, ut-oh, they put me in a rough situation. - Yeah. - Never send three very drunk girls who are sick. home by themselves. He's 100% the asshole. It's like, I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable, you're going to have to deal. Don't make jungle juice. - It's also just like a weird tell that he's like, I feel uncomfortable around drunk women. - Yes, exactly. - Like why women specifically, my guy?

- Because he's afraid of like, what will happen. - Yeah. - Yeah. It's some weird ass behavior. Like if a friend of mine was saying stuff like that, I'd be like, what? What? What's going on? - Also, jungle juice. - [Shane] Yeah, don't make jungle juice. - The last time I had jungle juice. was literally probably in college. - [Ian] Oh. - What's in it again? - The point of jungle juice is that everything is in it. - And most of the everything is hard liquor. - Yes. - Yeah. Yeah. - Insane. - It's like, yeah, if you made jungle juice,

you're expecting everybody to get very (beep) up. - I think if you're making the drinks, especially making jungle juice, like you should feel some amount of responsibility. for how drunk people get. You know? - Listen, drunk girls-. - Some level of it. - they're a lot. They can be a lot, okay? - [Shane] Totally. - I have definitely thrown up on the side of someone's car. It was awful. While we were driving. But don't let, I was not driving, no. I was in the backseat screaming, vomiting.

And then we parked it the next morning we got out. and I was like, we didn't wash it off. Like, oh, sorry. - It was in the northeast in the winter, so it just froze. - Correct. - Really? Oh. - Yeah. But they can be annoying, but you never let them just go. - And he doesn't even mention any sort of means of like. if he's gonna kick him out, how he's trying to help 'em get home. - No, he just sent them out the door. - All right, some comments here. You're the asshole. It was between your comfort and their safety. I think their safety is more important.

What about them makes you uncomfortable? It'd be weird if they were complete strangers, but then again, they're drunk enough to be puking already. They're not gonna be wanting to do anything but sleep. Someone said, mate, fricking grow a pair. You put two drunk females out on their ears, over your comfort? (beep). Have you ever read the news? Every flaming day there's a story. about women being attacked by men. How would you have felt if you found out. these ladies had been attacked? Major asshole. - Is this guy from Australia? - Yeah. - I'm like-. - Ears flaming. - I want hear that from like a Australian accent.

- Mate, freaking grow a pair. You put two drunk females out on the ears. over your comfort? (beep). Have you ever read the news? Every flaming day there's a story. about women being attacked by men. How would you have felt if you found out. these ladies had been attacked? Major asshole. - Wow. See? So much better. - So much better. - I would watch your show, whatever show that is. I don't know. - That's as close as I get to Billy Butcher.

All right, this next one's a doozy, so buckle up. - Okay. - My mother tried to trick me, a 26-year-old woman, into joining my sister 31, for dinner. after she tested me around her husband, who's 31. - Ha. - Wait. - This is actually crazy. and there's going to be lots of details, so please bear with me. My sister recently got married. It's been about three to four months. I didn't really see much of them after the wedding, honeymoon and then back to work.

But once a month our family all gets together. and my parents host a huge feast. Since this took place a week ago, it was for the month of August. During this dinner, my brother-in-law. was being extremely weird towards me. He was complimenting my body, ignoring my sister, and just straight up acting so strange. - Ah. - It was completely unexpected for several reasons. One being, his wife was sitting right next to me. and two, he has only been married a few months. Also, he's just never spoken to/about me like that before. I felt really uncomfortable and I'm sure it translated.

to the rest of the room because what the (beep)? Except it was weird. because nobody was pointing anything out. I was extremely confused and just wanted to leave. I left early, but when I got home, I just felt so icky. I don't even know how to describe it. I decided to message my sister and let her know. his behavior made me uncomfortable. I told her that it was also concerning. that he felt comfortable enough to say those things. in front of my parents and brother. I explained that if she didn't feel comfortable. being in the middle, I wouldn't mind explaining this. to him myself.

His behavior was so unnerving that I FaceTimed my boyfriend. who was away for work in the US. I told him it was weird, and how suddenly my brother-in-law's behavior towards me. went from that of siblings. to this horribly uncomfortable situation. He was pissed, rightfully so. My sister didn't respond to my text until the next day. She asked to meet up, so I did. I was expecting her to be upset. and to have him apologize for what he said. Instead, she admits it was all a test and I passed. I was confused to say the least.

What did she mean by a test? Passed? Like what's going on? Turns out she had her husband do those things on purpose. because she wanted to see how I would react. if he had said those things to me and meant them. My reaction and choice to message her afterwards, told her I could be trusted around him. I was offended to say the least. Why would she think I couldn't be trusted? Well, let me tell you, in my opinion. the not very valid reason for this lack of trust. My sister has been married before.

She was 27 and the divorce. was about 10 months into marriage. Her ex was a psycho, to say the least. He had known me longer than he did my sister. I was actually the one who had introduced them. They got along well and eventually started dating. It looked like the healthiest and most romantic relationship. to grace planet Earth, except when they got married. during their marriage I was staying with them. because it was closer to commute to work. They had extra bedrooms and I would pay rent. and cook and clean myself. My underwear, brass and panties would often go missing. It started off small.

I just assumed it got mixed up in my sister's laundry. and would turn up eventually, but it was happening more frequently. to the point I was buying underwear almost weekly. I kept pressuring my sister to admit. she was stealing my underwear. and she was adamant it wasn't her. I decided just to ignore it and go about my day. Something I hadn't even considered an option. was the real reason. My former brother-in-Law was stealing my underwear. I don't know, nor did I want to know. what he was doing with it when I found out, but I was so disgusted and confused. Someone I thought was my friend was actually just a perv.

He admitted he had never really loved my sister. and was just using her to get to me. I was just so creeped out. and I pressed charges against him. for his sickening behavior. I was able to get a restraining order. and my sister divorced him almost instantly. after finding out. This was four years ago. She used something traumatic that happened to me. and flipped it to make it seem like. I'm the one who was untrustworthy. She claimed I must have strung him along. for him to think like that, and this test with my new brother-in-Law. was just to prove I wasn't doing it again.

Safe to say, I was extremely hurt and angry by her response. So I told her never to speak or contact me again. if that's what she really thought of me. My family found out and for the most part agreed. her behavior is crazy but my mother stood by her actions. and said my sister was just trying to protect herself. from being hurt again. I told her if she had just been honest. with me from the start, I wouldn't have been as bothered. There's a right way to approach things and a wrong way. This isn't just wrong. It's also crazy. Why is she so adamant it's my life goal to hurt her? I didn't know that her ex was going to turn out like that.

So why am I being punished? She claimed I should have had some indication he liked me, but he really made it seem like he was. head over heels for my sister. How am I supposed to know what's going on. in someone else's mind? Anyway, next monthly family dinner was set. for early this month, yesterday, and it was the most compatible date. for everyone's schedules. I told my parents to expect me not to show up. if my sister and brother-in-Law were going. It wasn't even because I refused to ever speak to her again. I had just said that because the situation was so fresh. I told my mother I would apologize.

when I had cooled down a little. It was just difficult to face them when they made me feel. like a horrible person for a situation. that was outta my control. My mother assured me my sister wouldn't attend, so I agreed to come. I already know where it's going. - Oh. - When I arrived, they were both there. It felt like an ambush and it sort of was. My sister demanded, I apologize for my reaction. because it was my own fault it happened in the first place. - [Ian] What? - I can't lie, I snapped. I told her she should remove my number. and the title of being my sister.

if she really felt that way. I just need advice because therapy isn't scheduled. for another two weeks and I feel like. I just dreamt a soap opera a storyline. I feel kind of bad because I do understand. my sister had her trust broken completely by her ex, but I feel like that distrust shouldn't be aimed at me. rather than the person who actually caused it. I was the one who introduced her to the a-hole. in the first place and I feel guilty for that already. But I'm failing to see how her schemes. to manipulate me into thinking she's being wronged. by a husband once again as justified. I want to apologize to her for one reason,

ever introducing that man to her. I really need her to see that I wasn't trying anything. when her ex was stealing my underwear. I was just as in the dark as her. How do I go about doing the above. because I want to put this behind me and move on? I was just finally healing from her former marriage. and now this one is also putting me. in a very uncomfortable position with my sister, my brother-in-law and my own mother. Any advice on how to tackle apologizing, getting my sister's trust back and showing her. I truly want the best for her. P.s. apologies for spelling/grammar mistakes,

it's 2:00 AM and I usually sleep around 10:00 PM. It's possible that parts of this won't make sense, so I am more than happy to try and make things easier. to understand in the comments. I'm just so tired that my brain is working at 10% right now. - This one- - Damn. - Is a doozy, but I feel very like connected to this one. 'cause I can understand everyone's role in this. The mom will always try to get the sisters or brothers. to hug when they're still mad. - Yeah. - That's like always the mom's role and the older,

I will say though, it's harder to admit. that someone was just not that into you, right? Like it's really hard to admit that. So you're always gonna try to blame-. - Yeah. - the other girl in this situation, which is terrible. We need to stop doing that. I personally think that she has, she needs time to heal. My only advice for her to be is. I would do exactly what she did. I'd be like, do not contact me right now. I need space and time to heal. - And unfortunately it sounds like.

she can't contact her mom either. - Correct. - The mom is gonna continue to-. - Yep. - Yeah, try to try to be the peacemaker, but it only like that's ugh. - [Shane] But she lied. - It's really, I would say that everything she said. I agree with, like the only thing. that she's really incredibly sorry for. is the introducing her to the asshole, which she didn't know. But right now, she's being cornered. She's not ready. She has not processed. She has not healed. She's being cornered and the other sister. clearly has some issues that she needs to work through.

- Yeah. - I mean she dated a guy. who's stealing her sister's underwear. - Yeah. - Under her roof and she's not-. - And has clearly blamed her sister for it. - And that's crazy. It's like how do you, yeah, how do you make sense. of such an insane situation? - Wow. - And unfortunately, the way that she did was like, oh, well my sister must have been at fault for that. - It's so sad to blame the person-. - Tale as old as time. - Tale as old as time, blaming the woman who was like, what did you do to make him do that? - Yeah. - And it's like-.

- Maybe you shouldn't be so sexy around my husband. - Yeah, exactly. I think, oh God, it's so complicated. - I do agree. I, you know, you could debate on, well, you no contact for the rest of your life. is extremely-. - No, no, no. - But I agree of like at least for a while, like-. - No contact. - You gotta give yourself some space and get away. because her sister and her mom. are only gonna make this impossible for her. to like get over for a while. - Her sister hasn't taken any responsibility. for what she has done in it,

which has just put all the blame on her poor sister. who now is probably just like living every day. - Also the husband, this new husband. agreeing to go along with that? - Yes. - What the (beep)? If I married someone and they're like, Hey, I want you to hit on my sister tonight. I'd be like, I'd be like, I'm sorry, what? - Like yeah. If I was in that situation, I'd be like, your dress is nice, uh-. You look good. - [Amanda] Also-. - The way you eat those mashed potatoes is good.

- Yeah. - Nice shoes. - I would not like my poker face is bad. - Also, if that just means. that she has unhealthy relationships in my opinion. - [Shane] Oh my God. - If I ever, if like the guy should be like, I am not doing that, whatever this is, you need to work through it. - The husband sounds like a ride or die though. If you go along with that shit? - Nice potatoes. - Alright, some comments here. You have nothing to apologize for. Your sister, her husband and your mother are (beep) nuts.

What other stunts are they going to come up with. to try entrap you. into supposedly confirming their delusions? Someone else said, what were your father. and other family members doing during this charade? Why didn't anyone speak up or have your back? Totally creepy. You deserve to be treated better by everyone who was there. She said, my dad wasn't pleased. with what my brother-in-law had said. during the August dinner. Then when he found out the plan, he forbade him from entering the family home again. - Yes. - My mother lied and said that he wasn't invited, but they showed up anyway.

- Oh my God. - Apparently, he was livid and threatened to call the police. if they didn't leave. I left after I said what I said, so I don't know what happened. - I love the father. - But my brother called me and told me everything. that went down from when I left the August dinner. and this month's dinner. My brother and dad are amazing. and I'm going to update the post at some point. to make sure everyone knows. This sub Reddit only allows you to make one update, so I wanted to make it worth your while. They've been supportive and I have tried to talk some sense. into my mother, their words, not mine.

I've not spoken to my mother in a few days, which is so odd for me because I always call her. at least once a day. And of course haven't spoken to my sister or her husband. - Yeah. I love-. - I think that's great that she can maintain contact. with her father and her brother. - That makes sense to me that the father, for some reason. that makes sense that the father and brother are like, what? This is insane behavior. - Yeah and I wish the sister would see that. and be like, there are other men who are like, that's on him, like if a dude's doing that,

that's on their-. - And also if the dude can just easily hit on the sister. where it's believable, he would probably do the same fucking thing again. - Oh, I don't-. - Steal her undies. - Yeah. - What? - I mean that's like, that's the thing that I can't get over. with this whole story where it's like. everything in this story, all this turmoil. was caused by one (beep) perv. - One perv. - Like, and he's just like living his life. - Yep. - Probably completely oblivious to all-.

- Buckets of underwear in his car. - All his stuff. Yeah, he's just got a trunk full of underwear. - Exactly, he gets away scott free. - He's fine. He's fine. He's just living his life. - Yep. - But like he's caused just years and years. worth of just like shit. - [Shane] Oh yeah. - He's broken a family completely. - Yeah. - By being a perv, it's like, no, guys, stop focusing on the conspiracy theories. It's one perv- - [Ian] Yeah. - that broke this family. Let's heal it all together. But it's so hard to see that.

- Yeah, well we have an update. - Oh. - Oh. - [Shane] And it's a-. - She got her underwear back? - This update's a doozy. - She doesn't want her underwear back. - This is not a short update, so let's see. - Oh. - Okay. - Let's go. - A lot has happened the last couple of days. I've tried to read all the comments. and take in everyone's advice, this has been the outcome. I lost a sister and a mother in two days. - Yeah, yeah. - It's heartbreaking more than anything. I had a meet up with everyone, my boyfriend came with me, so I had support during the conversation. Honestly, it was hard to look at any of them.

for the way they treated me. I'm so thankful to everyone opening my eyes. to the crazy behavior exhibited. in the first part of the story. In front of everyone, my mother admitted. to knowing about the plans from the start. Sister confided in her and she agreed it was a good idea. She supported her son-in-law. by openly harassing her daughter. I'm in complete shock and it just hurt so much. knowing she would condone this. considering she knew how much I was affected. by the first husband. She knew I was having a difficult time in therapy.

It took me a long time to trust people again after that, and I feel like once again, my trust has been broken. I don't know how I'm ever to trust anyone again. I'm really thankful my boyfriend was there to comfort me. because it was so hard keeping my composure around them. My sister was not budging at all. She kept maintaining she was in the right. She said the only reason I wouldn't apologize. is because deep down I knew what her ex was like. She said, I just liked getting attention from him. knowing he was married to my sister. She also claimed I overreacted and if it's acting, then it's not harassment.

I told her she shouldn't expect any calls/ texts. or just not to be contacted by me. until I received the apology I deserve from her, from both her and my brother-in-law. Speaking of, he was pretty silent. throughout the whole thing. Probably because my father threatened his life. if he spoke bad about me. He did say that the only reason he did it. was to placate my sister because she kept accusing him. of ogling me, but still no apology from him. You're right, it was already like weird.

My mother, this one broke my heart the most. She told me I was exaggerating. and that I should be happy to have passed my sister's test. She actually said the words, we can all move on now. I was in complete awe, to be honest. How could she think that things would just. go back to normal after this? I asked why she was supporting such delusional behavior. She said it was because she loved my sister. and wanted her to be happy. I asked her if she loved me as much as my sister. She said yes. It seemed hesitant, but I don't wanna read too much into that. I told her I wanted an apology for her schemes.

She refused, so I gave her the same conditions. I gave my sister and brother-in-law. Until I get an apology, I simply am not speaking to all three of them. As a result, I also probably have to go low contact. with my brother and dad. because they both live with my mother. I mean, I'll hang out with them outside. and without the presence of my mother, but whether she'll let them is the question. I know some of you have suggested spending time. with my boyfriend's family on holidays and occasions. I think it was just one person, but, oh, well. I haven't met my boyfriend's family before. because they live in the US. but after this situation, I've taken two weeks paid holiday.

for the end of this month and he's taking me to meet them. for the first time. I hope it goes well. because they might be the only family I have now. My therapy session has been moved to tomorrow. because I requested an emergency appointment. Wish me luck. Anyway, my biggest thanks goes to all you Redditors. for helping me see the situation for what it was. For your advice and compassion, I'm really grateful. I don't think I would've been able. to get through this on my own. It's likely I would've caved and apologized. just for the pattern to repeat itself. Truly, thank you so much.

Wishing you all the best and I hope you know. that your advice might just have saved me. from my need to always please others. I'll look back on this moment. anytime I feel like putting someone else's feelings. above my own comfort. Hope your hearts are filled with love and happiness. - Aw. - Oh, wow. - Damn, that sucks. - But that was a special, but what doesn't suck. is it sounds like the sister. really needs to get a lot of emergency therapy sessions. because she clearly did the same thing to the other brother.

She has a huge amount of insecurity and jealousy. around her sister, so she implanted that. in the new brother-in-Law. - Yeah. - It sounded like he was a little, but also-. - He's also weird. But also, she went from like a really traumatic, like the sister went from a horrible relationship. and was married pretty quick, like into a new guy. If she's having those trust issues-. - Already. - It's like, you shouldn't be doing this. - [Ian] Yeah. - Like you're doing that type of test. Why don't you go to therapy?

Why don't you go to couples therapy. if you don't trust your, like what? - [Ian] Yeah. - But also she's putting the-. - It's not about her partner. - She's putting it on her sister. - It's her and her sister. - Yeah, no. I mean, this woman. does have to get away from this thing. - I am absolutely shocked that the mom knew about it, knew about the ploy in the first place. and went along with it. And to me like that, it sounds like the mom. is just very selfish where she just, she wants her two daughter. She wants everything to be happy.

and she doesn't really think about like. what this event could do to this person. - A telling line is when she's talking about, I'll probably hang out with my dad and brother. outside of the presence of my mother. - [Amanda] Yeah. - Or whether she'll let them. - [Amanda] Let them. - [Ian] Yeah. - And I'm like, oh, so the mom. is a horrible, abusive person. I don't know, she's a controlling person at the very-. - I see the mom's like, I don't condone her behavior, but I see the mom's version of it. I swear to God a mom's only goal. is to keep the family together sometimes.

- Yeah. - So it's like she'll do anything. to keep the sisters together. And it sounds like over years, she's made a lot of pacts. with the devils to keep the sisters together, that she's so far in that she's completely risked. her whole relationship with her husband. But also, there's a huge controlling element of it, right? - Yeah. - Where it's like, if she lets them get out of the house? - Well, a lot of people-. - She'll just use shame and guilt. - Yeah. - Like, like how could you see her when they have blah blah?

You know? It's like, and the husband's. not gonna want to deal with that. - A lot of peacekeeping behavior by parents. and people in general, can very easily turn into controlling. and abusive behavior. - Yeah. - It can be a form of it 'cause it's manipulation. - You have to let it play out. Let the sisters or brothers or siblings, let their journey play out. You can't-. - They're adults. - you cannot get in there too much. You cannot let them hug when they're not ready. - Yeah. - Like, stop doing that. - And you also just can't (beep) lie to people.

Like lie on that level, that's crazy. Someone said, I don't feel safe in this situation. You go, yeah, yeah. It's not gonna be that situation. - Acting is not harassment. Acting is not harassment. - Crazy. - Yeah, that was a wild line. - That was a wild line. - One comment on this update. Good for you, O.P., I absolutely would not. have anything to do with either of them. until they recognize their behavior. was unacceptable as well. Also, I can't say I very much faith. in your sister's new marriage if she finds this acceptable. Regardless, glad you made a decision you're at peace with. O.P. responded, thank you, it was a difficult decision.

Our culture is centered around family, which is why we get together as much as possible. It's going to be strange not seeing them as often, but my memories with them have been tainted. by this horrible experience. That was crazy. Today's Reddit Stories is brought to you by Mint Mobile. On average, it takes about 30 days for a person. to break their New Year's resolution. So if saving money was on your 2024 list, your odds aren't looking great. It's February and if you're like me, you've probably already spent more than your 2024 budget,

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- He's how old? - He's 26. - Okay. - 26, 25. I humiliated and shattered. my girlfriend's confidence. This is relationship advice. So he is not asking if he's the asshole. but he's asking for advice on what to do. - Well, he's about to find out. - Yeah. - My girlfriend and I moved in together last year. We live in a fairly safe neighborhood, but during the night there are some sketchy drunk men. hanging around who also scare me, quite honestly. My girlfriend, however, wasn't really scared. to walk alone at night and would say. that she's just as strong as those men. and can take care of herself.

My girlfriend is 5'10" and works out two times a week. She's indeed very strong compared to most women, but she was obviously delusional. to think that her strength was comparable. to that of an average man. She would even go as far as saying. that if someone should be worried. about walking alone at night, then it should be me. as I'm a scrawny, 5'9" man. - I love her. - She's like, bitch! - Yeah, I work out two times. - I thought this was one of the situations. where it would be better to just shut up than be correct. So I mostly stopped showing my concerns to her. Yesterday, she went out with some of her friends.

and called me at 1:00 AM saying that she'll come alone. via public transportation. She doesn't have a license. I told her that it's dangerous. and I should come pick her up, but she insisted on coming by herself. I couldn't sleep till she came home an hour later. She was so angry at me for not trusting her. that she can take care of herself. That was when I decided to demonstrate to her the disparity. between the strength of men and women. - Oh. - She thought I was joking at first, but when she realized that I was dead serious, she happily took the opportunity to prove how wrong I was. I basically told her to ground me as hard as she could.

and then I quickly got out of her grip. and grounded her for several minutes till she surrendered. She cried a lot throughout this whole time, and I could also see the fear in her eyes, even though she knew very well that I would never hurt her. I humiliated her. I slept on the couch that night. She didn't wanna talk about it in the morning. and said that she's fine, but she's still obviously very upset about it. I feel horrible that I've shattered her confidence. like that, and I don't think she will ever feel safe. walking alone at night again. I'm probably horrible person for doing that.

and I wish I could have just trusted her more. to take care of herself. I know this relationship is probably over, but is there anything I could do to make up for it? - I wouldn't say the relationship is over. I would say-. - I think it's almost like, look, she consented. to this weird ass test, but I think it's strange. that he's like, I held her down for multiple minutes. Like, was that necessary? - Yeah. - Like, I don't know, if she agreed to this weird thing.

and, you know, I think that's fine. I don't think it was a good idea. I don't think it's really proving a point. - No. - No. It's a weird way to solve this. - It's a very weird way. - It's a very weird way. - It's a weird way and I'm like, you know, for one, I mean, there's, I have a lot of opinions on all this. For one, I don't care about your physical strength. Like, are they acting like weapons don't exist? - Yeah. - I'm like, dude, the (beep)? Also, size kind of doesn't matter.

You're walking alone at night, like it might be two people. - [Ian] Yeah. - What are you thinking? Like, I don't know. I do think it's stupid for people to walk alone at night. - [Ian] Yeah. - And to be cocky about it. It's dumb. Now we live in Los Angeles, which is a place where you don't walk around alone at night. - Yeah. I'm like, where did this person grow up? - [Shane] Yeah. - Because it's like the people, it's like the people. that leave like their laptop, like visible in a car. and then they're surprised when somebody breaks into it. It's like you have to-.

- That happened to me. - You have to have some, like aware. You did that? - I did it. - I'm not gonna-. - I did, I was going on a date. I was very, I put my computer literally right there. and someone smashed it and took it. - It's one thing, it's one thing to-. - Look, I've accidentally left my, I'm a very safe person. I left my car unlocked. I swear to God, once in my life and then my car got robbed. Once. But like, there are people who are cocky about it. Like I've, I swear to God, I've known people.

who would leave their keys in their car. and then their car would get stolen. - That's my mom. - It's just like what? - She would leave cash. - Yeah. Like, for real. - I also just think, I also think like, I think this is, it takes two to tango in this situation. For me, I feel like I loved her confidence, I loved it, but I could feel that he did all of that. because he was building resentment over and over and over. And I will say, if you're in a partnership, it gets kind of old when you're like, I can take care of myself.

Like, why don't you trust me? It's also like, Hey, if you're in a partnership, collaborate with me. Like, maybe, you know what I mean? I felt like she was being a little, playing it a little too tough where it's like-. - Totally. - Cool, you work out two times a week. Nice. You know, you're 5'10", nice. - Yeah. - But like, you are in a relationship. It's a collaborative thing. Let him pick you up once in a while. - Right. No, if he's offering to pick you up.

and you're going, no, I'm gonna walk home at 1:00 AM. it's like- - Watch me. - don't do that unless you are in a, unless that is your singular only option, don't do that. I don't care where you are. - The resentment was already too high on both sides. - If I was him though, I would be like, I would really lay it out of like, Hey, please, I don't care if you're (beep) six five, I don't want you, I feel uncomfortable with you doing that. - Yeah, like, it should be a conversation of like, this, this is important to me that I don't want you-.

- Yes. - Our safety is, we're a team. We should care about our safety. - We have to see though how he was saying it though. Like it sounds like both of them kind of were like, you're a scrawny, five nine. You're 5'10", you work out two times a week. - I think. I think this, yeah. I think this came from more of a weird place. of like resentment and anger too, which is I don't like him. Let me be clear. - [Ian] No. - I do not like how he handled this. - Yeah, no. - Olive oil guy is still the least safest.

- Oh yeah. Yes, what? Okay, comments here. The (beep) did I just read? You harmed and terrified your girlfriend to win an argument? Another commenter, seriously, when my dad, cousins. and partner ever worried about me, they just brought me a taser, pepper spray, and took me to the range to learn how to properly shoot. I now carry all of those things. just to give them the extra peace of mind. even though I think I'm perfectly capable of handling myself. as I've lived in many places. and traveled to even more places completely alone. and not once been fearful in any of those situations.

They didn't physically assault me to prove a point though. - Yeah. - They did things to actually help me protect myself. - [Amanda] Yes. - The problem is you have proved your point. and then took it too far. You shouldn't have made her cry. In fact, you only needed to show her. she couldn't hold you down. You need some self-reflection. Another commenter, also, she's not exactly. going to gouge out her boyfriend's eyes. Wow, it's not the men on the street. or the bus she needs to be worried about, it's the one in her house. Someone said, even though she knew very well.

that I would never hurt her, she doesn't know that at all. and you've made sure that she will always. think you will now, congrats. There is nothing you can do here, just leave her alone. Ironically, women are more likely to be attacked. by men they know rather than by strangers. - Correct. - So congratulations on also showing her. that threat is real. - Those are all true. - Yeah. - Yeah. It's so, it's very true. - Those are all true. - And I think people should be extremely cautious. out in the world, but it is 100% true, a person's partner is like number one.

- Yeah. - Oh, always. It's always the husband or the wife. They always kill first. - You would know, you're a true crime fanatic. - They always kill first. - Gateway. - Gateway to arsenic. - Gateway. - There's an edit here. I can't possibly answer all of your comments. What I did was assault. I admit it. I can't express how sorry I am for doing that. I thought I was doing the right thing, but instead I assaulted her. by trying to prevent exactly that. Don't learn from me, but please keep yourself safe out there. If not for you, then for the ones who love you. So Amanda, you've talked about not always feeling afraid.

when walking alone and you have Muay Thai experience. How do you specific-. - And you work out more than twice a week. - I do. - But you still and you kind of expressed. how you felt about this woman's mindset. - Yeah. I would say like, the moment you start. to get really cocky is when you're in trouble. So many things could happen. I will say though, like adrenaline can come in, but yes, I am trained in Muay Thai,

it is really good for me to know, but I am sparring with a person that I know really well. I'm not on the street, surprised, scared, like-. - It's dark, yeah. - It's dark but I will say like, I was taught at a young age, like, don't be on your phone, don't have headphones. I am constantly looking around, but I've worked in restaurants, I've definitely had run-ins with a terrible thing. that's happened to me in the night. And I was like, wow, I was not prepared for that. What? Whoa. I wasn't prepared for that.

If that went any further, what would I have done? - Right. - But yeah, I will say that I think it's very important. to have plan B, plan C, plan D, right? Like taser all that stuff is really important. I'm not that scared, but I am very aware. - [Shane] Yeah. - I'm looking everywhere. - And I feel like a thing you learn. and any sort of like any instructor would tell you. is like you're not fighting is not your plan A ever, like you do not wanna end up in that.

- And they're never in the right position. for you to fight them. They're not like... You ready? - Square up. - You ready? They do teach you. - Victim, I am robber. - Yeah. - They do teach you if they grab right here what to do. - [Shane] Sure. - Which is like a thing. - But how often are people gonna be like-. - Yeah. For them to go. - It's just, you have to predict the unpredictable, which you can't do. - [Amanda] You can't. - The cockiness thing reminds me of a statistic. which is that the people who are most likely to get lost. out hiking are like- - I got it.

- Super, are super experienced men like with like. that you think, oh well he's a professional. They're the ones, it's cockiness that leads to. a lot of this shit. - Yeah. I also-. - Thinking you've got it is the worst thing to think. - Yeah and I will say I stopped listening to it. 'cause it made me very scared and paranoid. I listened to A and E, I Survived. - Oh God. - It is so rough. But I will say some of those stories, I was like, oh, good to know.

Oh good to know. Like getting locked in a trunk. Like all these little things and all these women's stories. are like, oh yeah, I heard this thing once. Oh I heard this. Honestly, it's just fill yourself up with knowledge. and different plans and know that you won't know, but your body also will have enough adrenaline-. - Yeah. - to get you to a place hopefully of safety. - It's also the thing, it's a psychological thing. of like when you take all the precautions and things, bad things don't happen. - [Ian] Yeah.

- You start to go, well I don't need. to take these precautions. No bad things are happening. It's like you gotta keep doing it. - It's like in survivor, the moment you feel comfortable. is when you're getting voted out. - It reminds me of, I just think about when my brother. and I went camping and a park ranger told us. to hang our food up 'cause a bear was spotted nearby. and we go, my brother's like, we got it double sealed in our car, it's gonna be fine. And then that bear came into our camp. and messed up his truck so bad. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - That bear was like, I heard what you said. - Yeah. - The bear's like, okay. - Olive oil. Alright, next story.

This is a 22-year-old woman. My boyfriend who's 24 is a passport bro. - [Ian] Oh. - And I had no idea. - What does that mean? - I don't know what a passport bro is. - You about to find out. - This is from relationship advice. - [Amanda] Okay. - I've been with my boyfriend for eight months. Things have been going really well between us. up until a few days ago. A little backstory, I'm from a central European country. and he's American. He said he settled in my country. because of work opportunities. We met in a coffee house where I work as a barista. We clicked instantly and started going out. a few weeks later.

Everything was so good and we had so much fun. Fast forward to last week, he asked me to help him. with some documentation. I was happy to, as I know my language. can be hard to understand and even translate sometimes. When I was searching online on his laptop, I stumbled upon some weird websites. They were all about passport bros. I didn't even know what the hell that was at first. and basically they all had tips. on how to settle in foreign countries, where to find a traditional bride. and which country has the most beautiful women, et cetera.

I was shocked and so confused. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I wanted to gain some clarity. and checked his profile on some of these websites. He had full on conversations. about eastern European countries, European women, how easy or hard it is to take them out on dates, if it would be better to settle down. in Asia instead and so on. He decided to settle down in my country. I feel dehumanized and like he fetishized me. and the women from my country. Also, our whole relationship has been built on a lie.

because he told me he settled down here. because he got a job offer. After I found that all this stuff, I quickly took a few pictures as proof. and then made up an excuse to come home. He tried to reach out a few times, but I told him I don't feel well. so I can't meet up right now. I can't even look at him. I feel so disgusted. Am I overreacting? How can I confront him about all this? - What? You just opened Pandora's box. What? This is a thing? - Are you really surprised to hear about this? - I'm not surprised, but I didn't know it had a name.

- Oh yeah, I didn't know either. - I thought it was just undercover shit. - Let's see if the comments have some more stuff. Visit the passport bros Sub Reddit, it's an eyeopener, end the relationship. - Yeah. - I would just exit the relationship. You're both young and you have time to find someone. who will respect you. My understanding is passport bros want submissive women. who do all the labor and likely still contribute. 50% financially. It's a lose/win situation for you. If you guys live separately, I'd just text him the pictures and inform him.

you don't plan on being his docile Euro wife. and let him know that one thing European women. and American women have in common. is none of them are going to settle for a weirdo. Another commenter said, I'd actually not even recommend showing him the proof. Then he'll just know to hide it better for the next girl. Yeah, I mean, this guy's a predator. - Yeah. - Whoa. - I feel like this behavior has been going on since-. - It's been going on forever. - I mean probably since forever. But like, I think back to like, you know the 50s.

- [Shane] Oh totally. - Oh absolutely. - With being like, oh, you need to find like, oh, like these women in this area are very subservient. and they still listen to men. Like, you know, it's that-. - Here's the thing, why do? I was about to say why do men want that? - Nobody wants to fuck them where they live. - And then I'm like, God, why? Why am I even asking that? - Yeah. - It's like, but it's just, I don't date those type of men. because they're terrible. Why would you want just a submissive? Like what are we talking about?

- Why do you think you have to look. on the other side of the world. for somebody to be interested in? - That's so true. Awful. - The R passport bros has over 2000 members. On this Sub Reddit, they discuss where to travel. in order to find a proper wife. who will actually appreciate them. - Yeah, tribe wife. - God disgusting. Dump his ass now. I would honestly be like, hello, here are the pictures, I'm going to the police and I have a detective. on speed dial, man.

Watch your back because I'm going to find you. and I'm gonna follow you and find every woman that you find. You're never gonna be alone, never forget my face. and then send a selfie from down here. Never forget this face. - Just in the text. Prepare. - [Shane] Prepare. - Yeah, prepare. - Okay, here's a post from R passport bros. It's only from a couple days ago. Is Manila a good spot? Mid 20s Canadian guy ready to spend the winter. somewhere warm and go from there.

I worked hard and saved a lot of money to travel. and explore the world. Is Manila a good spot to find a partner? I've been single for a year. and honestly I don't even wanna bother here. Shit looks really bleak. Top comment, Manila is a great spot to party and smash. They're too westernized and easy to put out. for girlfriend wifey material. They also cheat a lot. I have (beep) 50 plus married or taken Filipino women. Vietnam is the spot for girlfriend, wife hunting. Way more traditional and conservative. God damn, I can't believe people write this shit out.

- Guys are, some guys just live in a fantasy world. - Yeah. - Yeah. - But passport bros? I didn't know that. that was like a like a labeled thing. - Yeah. - Wow. - Well, there's an update. - Did he find the love of his life? - We'll see. I wanted to come on here and reply to a few things. and give a little update. I had no idea the last post was going to blow up so quickly. and get so many comments. For this reason, I didn't go into too many details. in my last post. When I read his comments on those websites, it felt dehumanizing and fetishizing.

They were making stereotypes about us. that are either untrue or outdated. We have all kinds of women here, just like in other countries. Some like to party, some don't. Some are looking for flings. Some want long-term relationships. Some want to stay single and childless forever. It's not true that most of us are submissive women. who obey our husbands. Try telling that to a central European woman face-to-face. and see her reaction, ha ha. Two, he told me he only came for work. and how It's funny, we met because he wasn't planning. on getting into a relationship. Judging by his comments online, it was a lie.

and he came here to look for a traditional wife. Three, surprisingly, he never actually told me. that he wanted a traditional relationship. He doesn't do anything that's considered traditional. in my culture either. I work hard for my own money and go to university, so I don't wanna be a housewife or stay at home mom. in the near future. We've talked about this so he knows. What worries me is that someone online. told him to start a relationship. and then to try to make it more traditional over time. I don't know if that's what he's trying to do. or if he's changed his mind, I have no way of knowing. and don't wanna take the risk of wasting my time.

Four, he works at an IT company allegedly, I've never been to his workplace, so I have no proof of this. It might be my naivete to think it's true, but we have a lot of companies like this in my country. and a lot of foreigners work in IT in the capital city, so who knows? Five, traditional women and traditional relationships. can mean different things in different countries. depending on culture and social norms. He wants a traditional woman by American standards, but that's not the same as what we consider. a traditional woman here. It's pretty clear from his online comments.

that he has no clue about this difference. It's offensive because it shows he knows. nothing about our culture and history. and is just relying on stereotypes and outdated assumptions. Six, some people in the comments tried to justify his desire. for a traditional wife, stating that European women. should be happy and understanding about this. But what does he bring to the table? Why should a traditional central European woman choose him. instead of a man from our country who speaks our language, knows our customs and traditions, grew up in our culture, and respects us according to our standards. To imply that I should be grateful.

that an American man chose me like I'm some product. is offensive and makes me look like I'm inferior. Very weird logic, sorry. Some people comment that my post was rage bait or fake. because of my English or because central European women. won't think like this. This just proves the ignorance. some people have about my country. Women here have careers open their own businesses. or learn to become doctors, lawyers, beauticians, chefs, et cetera, et cetera. Most of us in younger generations have modern mentalities. except for some villages but villagers probably won't go.

for an American man who doesn't know a thing. about our country ha ha. Most of us learn a second language. since we are six to eight years old. My niece literally goes to a bilingual kindergarten. and learns two languages at the age of three, so I'm not sure why it's so farfetched. that people here speak English as well. We are not some idiots who have no idea. about the modern world. Most of us speak at least one or two foreign languages, usually English and German, sometimes Spanish, except the boomers and Gen X. They had to learn Russian back in the day. And to the person who said that central European countries. are basically the same as England or France,

it sounds like someone failed their history class. Please don't be ignorant and educate yourself. I told my boyfriend, ex now, that I'd like to break up with him. We had a small conversation on the phone. and I told him I wasn't in a position. to continue the relationship for personal reasons. At first, he was confused and tried to convince me. not to break up, but then he accepted it. Nine, to the comments that suggested it. and thank you for the idea by the way, I posted my story in local groups. so other women can be aware of this whole passport bro thing. and hopefully not fall victim to men like this. As expected, they found the whole thing disgusting.

and were grateful for the heads up. We're not here for others' enjoyment. and to fulfill some submissive wife fantasy. of someone who looks at us as stereotypes. rather than individuals. with varying personalities and preferences. 10, I'm not against foreigners or mixed couples. My brother-in-law's Arab, speaks my language. and knows my culture. We also speak some Arabic. and know and respect his culture too. He didn't come here as a sex tourist, but as an actual worker who wanted to change his life. If you go to a country, go because you're interested in it. and want to learn about a new culture. and have some great opportunities,

not because you want to desperately lie to women. just so you can get into a relationship or get some sex. I can't speak for everyone in my country, but most people won't tolerate this behavior. and will judge passport bros negatively. It's hypocritical to want a traditional wife, but constantly move from country to country. and woman to woman. That behavior definitely isn't considered traditional, at least not in my country. If you want casual relationships, that's fine, because there are women here who want the same. but just be honest about it. Thank you again for all the comments, explanations, and advice. They were eye-opening and really helpful.

Even though I'm disappointed and feel a bit used, I'm grateful that I know the whole truth now. We live and we learn, I guess. - Go off queen. - Yeah. - Literally, put that on a pillow. I don't think it would fit. - It's- - But like wow. - It is a funny thing that I see is that. a lot of Americans, especially these American dudes, they think they understand other cultures so well, but I feel like as Americans in general, we don't know. - We don't know shit. - We don't know other cultures that well at all. and most of the world speaks English.

- [Ian] Yeah. - Like that's a thing that a lot of people. I guess just don't realize-. - And they learn multiple languages. - But also, if you're gonna marry someone. from another culture, you're marrying into that culture as well. and if you don't respect it-. - [Ian] Yeah. - then you don't respect that person. - And you don't know it. I love what she said about traditional, you're looking for a traditional American wife. It's a completely different culture here. - And even these current, like internet bros, their idea of a traditional wife is even a weird thing. Like they- - It's not real.

- They don't want, they want something that never exists. - It's from like a porn site that they saw once. - It's that and just old marketing from the 50s. - [Shane] Yeah. - Correct. - Like, it's not even real. - Ut-oh, husband's coming home, I better put the cigarette out and the meatloaf in. - Yeah, yeah. It's not real. It was never real. - No. - And people just, people just want the idea. of an easy answer. Like they're like, I just, I just need like a woman.

that can just like have sex with me. and do what I want them to do. And you know, maybe if he stayed in that relationship, he would've, it sounded like he potentially. would've realized that that is not real. And it's like, oh, this is a human being. just like the women back home. and she's full of complex ideas and thoughts and feelings. - Yeah, exactly. - And it's like-. - So you guys are, you have people here too. It's truly like, he's like so gone.

- I think it's harder for someone to look at themselves, grow, become a better person, explore, be curious, feel rejection. I think it's just so much harder to do that. so they do everything in their power. to do sick, gross, weird shit to be like, no, no, no, it's, this is fucked up. It's like, no, just look at yourself and go from there. - Yeah and we're seeing so much of this delusion in men.

from these Reddit stories. And I mean, I see it on the internet all the time. I mean, you see it on TikTok, you see like these talking heads that are out there, the manosphere as I call it and people call it. and I think what's what's happened for a lot of dudes. is like, people are feeling more empowered nowadays. Like people, they're like, they are realizing like, oh, I don't have to tolerate this bullshit. and instead of men being like, what can I do. to like better myself? They're trying to work around it and blame-. - Like, no, no, no.

Like the ship of power is going away. They're like, don't leave me here. and all the women are like, come. - Yeah. - Unrelated, I just realized I do need to renew my passport. Completely unrelated. - Are you a passport bro? - No, right now I am passportless. - You're a passportless, okay, then you're safe. - I'm a passportless bro. - You're safe. - I'm safe. - This guy is not. Passport bros are not safe. because I am coming for you. - I feel like, I feel like now-.

- I literally feel like a vengance. - You're gonna start, a vigilante. - I feel a fire. - A vigilante of passport bros. - What's not safe is me right now. - If I go to Romania, if I go to Romania, are people gonna start thinking I'm a passport bro? - It's very possible. - If you're around there dating people. - I don't think I am. I think I just wanna. see the nice like nature and-. - Yeah, me too. I wanna go to Romania. - [Shane] That's fine. I'm a castle bro. - Whoa. - Whoa, whoa. What? - Hey, I wanna get into that castle. - That seems weird. You're not safe. - I'm more of a traditional architecture kind of guy, so-.

- Whoa, slow down, man. That's messed up. - I'm a fight for vengeance bro. - There was a couple comments here. So happy for this update. Good on you. Fellow European here. and I love you're putting people in their place. for stereotyping your culture. and making excuses for horrible misogyny. Someone else said crazy how these passport bros. think everyone's, everyone dreams of living in their country. while being some of the dumbest. and most uninformed people in the world. Lastly, someone said, as an American, you have my utmost respect. These guys are a national embarrassment. and they need to be routed out. and wherever they're found, start a relationship.

and then try to make it more traditional over time. I can guarantee that's what he was doing. They try the same thing over here. and are angry that they don't have much luck. Yeah, which is most of the stories we read here. - Yeah. - But damn it, women are reading again. - Yeah. - Oh, they're protecting themselves. - It's so fascinating to me the lengths. men will go instead of just like going to therapy and like-. - Exactly. They won't look at themselves. Instead they'll be like, oh shit, they all have books and schools. I must go across the the land.

- Where can I go where they don't have books. - Books and schools. Nowhere, man. - No, I'm sorry. - Oh, why don't you sit down and read a book. about like how to get better for dummies, dude, - How to be better. I gotta be honest, I don't feel safe. around any, any of these people. - I actually feel the safest around the dad. - The Dad. - Drunken beers NBA. - No, no. - Somehow-. - No, no? - Somehow the dad is for me like they're all horrible. A lot of these people ended up being worse than-.

- I think the Dad's just an alcoholic. - Yeah. - Dad's got a problem. - Weed whacking? That sucks. - Yeah, that's loud. - Being hung over. - Yeah, loud. - Yeah, loud. - Allergies. - Let us know in the comments down below. who you think was the worst. They're all bad, but who do you somehow think is number one? And we'll see you next week for more Reddit stories. I don't know how they can get much crazier than this, but they keep getting crazier. Thank you both for joining me.

- Yeah. - Anytime. I am like gonna gear up, I'm gonna get a full leather outfit. - Sarah Christ is traveling the world. - Sarah Christ is rebooted, full leather, just like passport bros with an X on the back. - You have two swords. You're just-. - Well, I feel like you're gonna be, you're gonna be like. to catch a predator, but it's to catch a passport bro. - Yeah. I'm gonna be on airplanes. - Take a seat right there. - Two samuri swords like-. - So, what brings you to Manila?

- And the guy's like- - Italy, I'm coming. - The guy's like, we're in Milan. She's like shit! - She's like shit. - Alright, we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye. - Bye.