A Dish Best Served Cold | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hello and welcome to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.". I'm Shayne, and today's theme is, I mean, it's our 150th episode, so I guess that's a little bit of the theme is hell yeah. But also, it's March, and in honor of the Ides of March, sorry, both Amanda and Angela are mocking me right now, and it's really hard to do this intro. while they are quietly mocking me. - I'm just smiling. - So this is gonna be.

largely revenge-themed today because of the Ides of March. Angela, can you tell us more about the Ides of March? - George Clooney. - George Clooney the movie. - It's a- - Oh, yes. It's Julius Caesar thing. - Julius Caesar. - Yes. - It's Shakespeare. - Yes. I only know like kind of the text. - I also like Shakespeare. - I know, but Angela really knows Shakespeare. - Thank you, Shayne. - Angela went to Oxford. - I also went. (Shayne laughing). - Hey. Hey, we're gonna get to you. Hey. (Shayne laughing).

- You're gonna get your chance. - No, no, no, Angela, have your time. (both laughing). And you should have it. - I yield my time to Amanda. - Okay, great. Amanda- - So Julius Caesar. - We're out of time. Anyway. (both laughing). I'm joined by Amanda and Angela today, who both are getting revenge on everyone. - We had a realization today that we think. we spent too much fundamental time as kids with our uncles. - Yes. Yes, because- - What?

- There's some ladies- - Crazy. Crazy statement. - No, wait, hold on. Not what you guys are thinking. - Nobody's saying anything. - Like a lot of little girls. will hang out with their moms or their older sister. - Yeah, and they'll be like- - I think we hung out. with older men. (laughs) - Yeah. No, you're not actually explaining this well. You're actually not. - Are you saying. because of all the characters you guys play, are you saying that you act more like old men than-. - She's not explaining it well, but here's the deal. We are not your typical girls' girl, okay?

- That's what we're saying. - We've been hanging out. with older guys. Funny ha ha ha. - We were like, "Are we girly girls?". And we were like, no. - Guys who scratch. their balls in sweatpants. (Angela laughing). - That is your personality. (crew laughing). - And thank you. - Yeah, it really is your personality. - And we watch like horseback riding. - You both have the personalities. that you hang out and smoke cigars. - And we tell our nieces and nephews. to go pour us a beer and bring it back. And we're like, "Yeah, it's good.". - Truly, whenever you both play men.

in any of our sketches or shows, it's wild to see. You become the most toxic human beings. (laughs). - And that's because we're healing from toxicity, Shayne. - That's because I'm speaking to the culture. - Yes, we're healing inside, so we become toxic men. It's for us to feel. - It's just crazy. Whenever we slap a mustache on one of you, the energy just skyrockets. - Yeah! - You're like, "Ah!". - I literally can't play a grounded, nice kind guy. - It's a mask. - I have not been able to play a nice guy in a long time.

- It's like Jim Carrey's "The Mask.". You put that shit on. - [Amanda] What is wrong with us? - I think talking about nice men leads us. right into Reddit stuff. - Yeah. - So today's theme is revenge. Revenge-themed stories. - I saw a kick ass production of Julius Caesar in the round. - Sick. - In Oregon when I was 16. Blew my mind. Female Julius. (Angela laughing). - Our first story comes from r/pettyrevenge.

This was posted only a week ago as of recording this. "I've been mailing my toenail clippings. to my childhood bully once a month for 11 years. No return address, no note.". - (bleep) Throw up is coming up. - Oh my God. - That actually is really (bleep) gross. - Yeah, that's a lot. - But awesome. - Actually, yeah. - Oh, uh, actually. - You know what? That's awesome. - I didn't know you could send stuff with no return address.

- Oh yeah. - What? - Kind of a good thing. to learn. - Don't get any ideas. - Wait. - Don't get any ideas. - Doesn't the post office go, no? - [Angela] Yeah. - Something that I've wanted to do for a long time is, this just kinda makes me think about it, is you know how they sell those really fancy. like letter-writing sets with the wax seal? - Yeah. - I love those. - I've thought about buying some really nice stationery, like really old-school parchment paper. So one of my friends would get this gorgeous letter.

in cursive on the front entitled to them. And they'd open up this, they'd break the wax seal, they'd open up this beautiful scroll, and in it just in cursive, it just says, "Bitch.". - (bleep) you. - And that's it. There's like (bleep) you, and that's it. All that effort for that. - I love it. - Shayne Topp wrote me a letter. - Oh, wax seal of a butt. Oh, "Bitch?" - I draw a butt? - Yeah. - Like I sent you a nude. - A drawn butt. - This sounds disgusting. - Yes, all right, let's get into this story. - Yeah. (laughs).

- "So this is weird, and I've never told anyone, but here we go. When I was in middle school, there was this kid, Marcus, who made my life miserable. Like not just regular bullying. He was creative about it. One time, he convinced half our grade that I shit myself. at a sleepover that I wasn't even at. Another time, he found out I had a crush. on this girl, Emily, and he asked her out. specifically to tell me about it in detail. Just cruel stuff constantly for like three years.". - Wow. - "Anyway, fast forward to 2014. I'm in college, haven't thought about Marcus in a while. I'm scrolling Facebook and I see his mom.

posted something about a garage sale, and her address was right there in the post. I screenshot it. Don't know why, just did. So that night, I'm clipping my toenails watching TV, and I look at the little pile and I look at my phone. with the screenshot and I just thought. I put them in an envelope, no note, no return address. Mailed it the next day. Felt stupid immediately after. Figured that was it. Got it out of my system, whatever. But then a month later, I'm clipping my toenails again. and I just did it again. That was 11 years ago.

I have not missed a single month. I've mailed them from different cities. when I'm traveling for work. I don't even think about it that much anymore. It's just part of my routine now. First of the month, rent and toenails. The thing is, I have no idea if he even opens them. or if he throws them away immediately, or if his wife opens the mail. and has been hiding it from him for years. I genuinely have no idea, and honestly, I don't really care. Like I'm not doing this for a reaction. I think I just like knowing that somewhere out there, these envelopes exist.

I looked him up recently, and he's got a wife and kids now. Nice house, seems happy. Good for him, I guess. I found his new address when they moved a few years ago. Took like 10 minutes. Sometimes I wonder if I should stop. I have a decent job and a wife too. Normal life stuff. And also, once a month, I mail my toenails. to a man who was mean to me when we were 12. Anyway, yeah, that's it. Felt like typing it out finally.". (crew laughing). Okay. This is definitely, like regardless.

of how we feel about this, a really good story. about why you should just never bully people. - [Angela] Yeah. - 'Cause you just don't know. - I think he should replace the toenails. with just a picture of him. No more toenails, and just start sending pictures of him so-. - Well, then he reveals his identity. - Yeah. - Then the guy. could come after him. - Yeah. - Then he could start getting envelopes with toenails. What I would do, you wanna level this revenge up a little bit more.

- Okay. - Send one with a check for $1,000. - What? - Not a check, sorry. Send like 500 bucks in one. - Get a beating outta your hands. - Sometimes he's like-. - He's excited to open it. - I gotta open. some of these. - Oh. - But then the next one, you send more toenails. - Get in his mother(bleep) head. - Get (bleep). - Yes. - Sometimes they're good. And he's like, "What is this? Is this revenge? Is this good? Is this person happy?". - Sometimes, it's a coupon. - 'Cause it's like, wait. - Psychological thriller. - And then sometimes, it's a bag of shit. - Yes, sometimes it's a poop. - The envelope is just wet, and he's like,

"I wonder if this is cash.". - Sometimes it's a gift card. - "What is this?". - "Open it, babe.". "Open it, open it.". He's like, "But it's soft and stinky.". "Open it, there could be cash in there.". - Sometimes, you put a kid in it. (all laughing). Sometimes, you put a Burke Williams spa gift card. - What? - This is nuts. - A Chili's gift card. - Yeah. - Being in one of them. - But there's poop at the top. - There's still toenails. - Ew! - Move away from that. I love that there's toenails, but there's also cash.

- [Angela] Okay, here's my question. - So it becomes like Fear Factor. It's like, "For $100." - No, no, no! Cash. - It's like Deal or No Deal. My question is, is this harassment? - Yes. - I think it does. I think he could get in trouble. - My answer is yes, it is. - That's harassment, correct? - I think it is. - But it was on the school grounds as well. - Here's my deal. He was harassed. - Yes, but that was 12. years ago when they were kids. - Kids. - He was harassed for three years by this bully.

That's awful. Now, you're harassing him for 11 plus years. - That's triple the years. - Yeah, and now you're thinking about-. - He's not even saying that he's-. - [Emily] You're right. - He's not even saying it's for revenge. It's just a thing he does. - Three, six, nine. Yeah, you're right. - Plus two. That's what I'm saying, it's like triple the years, plus two. - Plus two, well done. - Yeah, it feels like he should have stopped at three. - I think it's time to move forward. - I think doing it once is enough to be like, they're always gonna wonder what the hell that was. - I think what's getting weird now is that technically,

this guy's collecting his toenails. Like at the end of the day, he's piling them up. - Well, yeah, it actually does make me. kinda wanna throw up just a little bit. - Oh, yeah, it's definitely gross. Also, does his wife know that he's doing this? 'Cause that's a secret then that you're holding, where it's like, your wife finds out and it's like, "Oh yeah, I've been mailing my toenails. to this address for 11 years.". Would you stay with that person. after you found out? - Okay. Courtney tells that to you tonight.

What do you say? - I'd be like, "And you're done.". (both laughing). - No. - Not we're done. You're done. - No, I'd say, "And we're done doing that." - Yeah. I would say, like-. - And we're done mailing those-. - Yeah, because picture the wife of the bully. She doesn't know his past like that. She just is like cutting roses in her garden, probably coming and getting the mail and going like, "Hmm.". And it's toenails again. - If I was dating someone that was doing that, I'd be like, "This has to stop.". - Oh, yeah. - No, I'd be like-.

- This has to stop. - What are you capable of? - If you're doing that, what else are you doing? - But I feel like what's happened here-. - Spoiled the secrets. - Is we've passed the time where he knows what he's doing. - He doesn't know why he's doing it. - I think it's almost like him coming to, because does, like when you do something for even more than two years, it becomes second nature. Just like- - Yeah. - Even bad behaviors. - Yeah. - Yeah. This is like "The Count of Monte Cristo.". And he kept sending those letters. - Great movie. - Filled with toenails. - You know that. - George Clooney. - But we don't know if he's told his wife or not.

If his wife is just like, "Yeah, he does this.". I doubt she knows. - I bet she does. - My advice to people is like, hey, if someone bullied you as a kid. and you're still not over it and you find them on Facebook, like send them a message and be like, "Hey, man, you messed me up when I was a kid. That really sucked.". - That's why I said, send a picture of himself. - 'Cause you're not gonna get closure. He's not getting closure. He's still doing it after 11 years. - Yeah, I also feel like, I'm not encouraging this man. to bully, but I am, like, get online like everybody else. The mail has other stuff to do.

- [Amanda] Yeah, exactly. - Get your revenge doing something else. The post office should not be touching your stupid, ugh. - Yeah, don't. - It's inside the envelope. - It's still disgusting. - Yeah, but he's wasting envelopes. - I'm working at a post office getting paid minimum wage, and I pick up a (bleep) envelope of toenails? - Yeah, get him. - I'd walk. I'd move. - Some tree out there is getting cut down? It's like, "I hope I'm gonna be the great American novel.". It's like, "No, you're gonna be an envelope for toenails.". - Literally. - Yeah.

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now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com/pitreddit. Free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/pitreddit. And now, back to the show. Comments: "You should skip it one month. so he thinks he's finally free of toenails, then boom. Two months' worth of toenails in the next envelope.". - Oh, okay. - That has 20,000 upvotes. - So just to double the order? - Just to double. Just to save them up. - No, to skip a month. - Bank them up.

- Everyone wants this to be a psychological thriller. - Yeah, I still think the cash is hilarious. - I think yeah. - Sometimes the envelopes are good. Someone said, "Just for curiosity, does anyone know. if toenails can be used to obtain DNA?". I believe they can. - Oh my God. - Someone says, "I know everyone is saying never stop. I think the opposite. Stop for a few months. Let him think his nightmare is over. Then restart it just to torment him.". - Okay. - Someone said, "Wouldn't it be funny if he read this Reddit post?". Someone said, "All I'm gonna say is, if that guy ever goes missing,

you're gonna be the first suspect.". Someone replied to that and said, "And bullied more than one kid, so he still has no clue who it is.". He did probably bully multiple people. - Yeah, but he's got his toenails. What if this guy-. - What if this guy's. the freak? - Has an underground lab, and he's doing like February toenails? Boom, boom, boom. - Here. You want me to move this up one level? He finally goes, "You know what? I'm sorry I sent all those envelopes. I'm gonna go visit this guy, say I'm sorry.". He goes and visits him and the guy's like, "Hey man, for sure. Like why don't you come to my man cave?

We'll hang out for a bit.". He goes down to his man cave. In his man cave, he has a statue-. - Of toenails. - Made of his toenails. - Yep. - And he is like, "Oh, flipped it back on you. I'm the freak.". - I think I would just go, "Ew.". - And then they kiss. (both laughing). - And that's why he was bullying him. - 'Cause he is obsessed with him. - 'Cause he's that obsessed. - And we have a sim here. (all laughing). (speaking indistinctly). - We're in a silly zone. - No, the revenge, it's like, I like some funny revenge,

but of course, we talk about it all the time, when it outweighs what you're doing, what are you doing to yourself? - Yeah. - My thought is always like, 'cause I get where I'm like, you want them to feel what you felt. You want them to feel. Like the isn't the ultimate goal. for them to like kinda wake up and be like, "Whoa, I can't believe I was doing. this awful thing. - Yes. - But you're not gonna get it. And it's just also like, "Man, you're committing so much of your life.". Kinda that quote of like, oh, they're living rent-free in your head. - They're living rent-free in your toes.

- Your life, in a way, revolves around this person. who is awful, and you should just get them out of your life. - Or, like, you are 11 years into stopping once a month. to stop and think about this person. and give some of yourself and your time and your efforts. to this person. - Yeah. He's probably thinking about it more. Every time he looks at his toes, he's probably thinking about his bully. He's probably like, ♪ la la la. - I keep going back to the postman. who probably delivers that every week. - I was thinking about the postman too. - Or girl.

- That's so true. - Post girl. - Post girl. - But, boy, I don't think that falls under petty revenge. I think that's under something different. - That's some serious revenge. - That's some long-term revenge. - That's like take a shower revenge. - Yeah, I don't like that, that feels a little bit like torture, just like a little bit. - Yeah. All right, our next revenge story. This comes from r/pettyrevenge. "Seams to be a problem with the wash.". Seams is spelled S-E-A-M-S. - Oh, clothes.

- Clothing theme, clothing theme. - "Years ago, I worked with a woman. who had a picture-perfect family. Mom, dad, three beautiful boys, very involved in family activities. Well, until dad hit a midlife crisis. and pulled the plug on the marriage. As things played out, she ended up losing the house to him, and the boys stayed in the house. so they could continue in their school. It was heartbreaking to watch. Of course, because it was a midlife crisis, he moved in with someone who was a lot younger, but had zero idea of how to do anything around the house. Ex-hubby wasn't used to doing anything,

and my coworker was upset that her boys. weren't being cared for. One day, she was at the house and decided to show the boys. how to change their linen and run the washer and dryer. so they could do their own clothes. She saw a mound of dirty clothes in the laundry room. and decided to get some petty revenge. She used the scissors in the laundry room. to cut exactly one stitch in the side seam or under the arm. of a few of girlfriend's shirts and sweaters. She snipped a single stitch at the elastic of underwear, a single stitch in bra bands. Then when the boys arrived with their laundry,

she showed them how to separate clothes. and include everyone's dirty clothes in the loads. Weeks later, the boys mentioned how the girlfriend was upset. because her clothes seemed. to be getting damaged in the wash. She did that a few more times over the course. of the six months the girlfriend lived there. Petty as hell.". - Wait a second. So the only people who suffered were her sons? - No, the only person who suffered was the girlfriend. - But she blamed the sons, 'cause they were the ones doing the laundry? - This definitely falls under, hey, the husband was the piece of shit,

but you're getting-. - Mad at the girlfriend. - You're torturing. the girlfriend for what the guy-. - Yeah. - The guy is the shitty one. Put the revenge on him. - And therefore, involving your sons. - She's not messing up. the dad's clothes. She's messing up the girlfriend's clothes. - Yeah, what? And a stitch in a-. - You're hitting the wrong target, mate. - Yeah, the target, mate. - Mate, to the left. To the left. - And her underwear, what, is falling off? - Well. - Well. (all laughing).

- No, that's- - Bizarre. - That's a bummer. So our verdict, is it good revenge, is it bad revenge? It's not even revenge. - It's not. - It's not revenge. You completely did not get revenge on the person. who did this to you. - Yep. - You're just doing horrible things. to someone who has nothing to do with you. - Just cut holes in the butt area. of your husband's pants. - Yeah. (crew laughing). - Comments: "Why did she do it to the woman. and not her husband who vowed. to stay by her side in sickness and health? I mean, apart from deep-rooted misogyny, of course.

Probably taught the boys to hate the woman. and tolerate their father too.". OP said, "I think she was hoping things would blow over. and he'd get back together with her. He had a great lawyer, and she had one. that wanted her to play nice for the sake of the kids. In the end, everyone lost.". - Yeah. - Yeah. Someone said, "That's messed up. The girlfriend and not the man who blew up her life? Not cool.". Someone said, "My great-aunt did this in her nursing home. whilst recovering from a broken hip. It's because another resident had been stealing from her. She took her own pair of scissors. How she was able to take her own scissors there,

I don't know, and cut up the woman's clothes. Well, then, that's fun. (all laughing). - The woman's like, "Damn, Georgia, what happened to that?". - If she's stealing clothes from her, she can mess her clothes up. Like that's fine. - Yeah. - Her own clothes if she's being stolen from. Oh, vengeance in a retirement home, that sounds funny. - Yeah. - Probably brutal. - Brutal. - 'Cause what you gotta lose? - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, take a picture. of their kids. - Noo. (laughs). - What, hey, we're pitching. No bad pitches, no bad pitches.

- In the retirement home, they're just cutting off. their toenails and throwing them at each other. - "Hey, hey, John, open up.". - My grandma shares a room with somebody. in her retirement home, and the girl next to my grandma's. always got her TV louder than my grandma's. And I always go, "Huh, let me turn yours up, grandma.". And I'm like, "This is a shared space.". - Oh God. Can your grandmother even hear her TV? - No one can hear anything. (crew laughing). That woman can't hear her TV. My grandma can't hear hers,

but it just pisses me off that hers is louder. - Yeah, I get it. Subtitles. - And my grandma's is on a one-second delay, so the answers to "Jeopardy!" are spoiled every day. It's (bleep) annoying. - Or sometimes you walk in there and you go, "What the fuck are you both watching?". And you go, "How'd you land on this channel?". They're both watching infomercials all day. - Wait, every time I see an old person, I'm like, "Where do they get their shoes?". (all laughing). Where do old people get shoes? - Shoes for Crews? - No, truly. I look at some people, I'm like, "I've never seen those shoes.".

- Shayne, Shoes for Crews. - Yes. - They have (bleep) leg, and they have like jagged things on the bottom. so they don't slip. - But I'm like, "Where do you find them?". - My grandma has so many of those, the ones with all the Velcro. - They're big boat black weird-. - Yeah. - Like soft, cushiony. But the bottoms are like- - Shoes hard. Shoes where Frankenstein would walk by and be like, "Where did you get those?" (Amanda laughing). - They look like snowboarding shoes. And they're like moon shoes. - When my grandpa was alive, I was always like, "Where did you buy these shoes?".

- Like marshmallows. Like marshmallow shoes. - I'm not making fun of them. I really don't know. where do they go to. - Where do they come from? - Where did these shoes come from? - Shoes for Crews. Shoes for Crews. (laughs). - Guys, please tag us in your grandparents' shoes. - Please. - Take a picture. Tag us in your, no, but they're also. just a specific type-.

- They're just one-. - If I saw a grandfather in Converse, I'd go, "Whoa.". - No, I know, you don't see it. - No. - You never see them in shoes that you recognize. There are no logos there. (Angela laughing). - It's like, it's like (laughs), it's like, someone cut a thick piece of like rubber. And like, "Put your foot that." (laughs).

And the bottom half like (laughs). - [Angela] Oh my God (indistinct). - You're crying. - This got me now. 'Cause my grandpa, I was like, "The (bleep).". (all laughing). It's so true. - Walking around like they're on the moon, and you're like-. - They're bouncing because they're on bouncy material. - Okay, sorry. Anyway, I don't think this revenge was smart. - No, it's not revenge.

- Oh my God. - We've got revenge that I think was taken too far, and we've got revenge that was on the wrong target. - Correct. - Yeah. - Okay. - And where do they get-. - Those shoes! - Those shoes! - It's time for our next story. Another petty revenge. "I pretended to not know what Brooklyn is." (laughs). That's good. - That's good. - That's good. "I used to work at a medical office and it was a chain. The culture was very corporate. I didn't really fit in there, but I tried to keep my head down. and do my very best at my job.

One girl there seemed to really not like me, which is fine. I'm not a $100 bill for everyone to like me.". - What? - Never heard that phrase. - Okay. - Before. - I'm not $100 bill for everyone. to like me. - Yeah. Next. - But. "But she'd do petty things like unplug my monitor. and keyboard before I'd get to my desk in the morning.". Jesus. "We also shared documentation responsibilities, and she would neglect her end, which I wouldn't know about. until I'd get an earful from my boss. So I decided to get back at her.

in the pettiest way I possibly could. Her entire personality was being from Brooklyn. Like, "Oh believe me, I'm from Brooklyn. I know pizza.". Or, "I'm from Brooklyn. We don't stand for shit like that, yada, yada.". One day, I was castigated for something she did, and I got really mad. So for the rest of the day, I pretended to not know what Brooklyn is. I'd ask like, "Oh, is that some town in Ohio? Oh, it's in New York. Is it like upstate? One of the five boroughs?". Everyone knows there's only four boroughs in New York.

That's Manhattan, Queens, the Bronx, and Staten Island." (laughs). To know Staten Island but not know Brooklyn. is really funny. - Very funny. "When she showed me Brooklyn on the internet, I just said that's not real. Brooklyn is an internet hoax. She got so incredibly frustrated she started crashing out. The best part is, what's she gonna tell HR? I'm bullying her by pretending not to know what Brooklyn is? This was a long time ago, but I figured it was a good place to share. That's good revenge. I think she could go a little bit further.

If she's unplugging your monitor, you can, I mean- - You can kick her a little. (all laughing). - Have you ever had someone, when you're sitting down, pull the chair out from behind you? - Okay, I-. - I'm not friends with the Three Stooges, so. (laughs). - Well, when you're a tall girl, it happens to you in sixth grade-. - Oh Jesus. - It (bleep) sucks. - And you fell all the way to seventh grade. - I literally fell. (Shayne laughing). It took me like many minutes to fall. Anyways. - Wait, that's crazy. It did happen to me once in this darkened show.

Someone pulled the chair and I hit the ground. It's really funny. - On purpose? - I'll send you a clip. No, on accident, it's really funny. - Yeah, send me a clip. - There's nothing. worse than falling. Your legs go up. - Yeah, yeah. (Shayne laughing) It's the worse. But anyway, I think I like this revenge. because the person wanting the revenge. is making them look stupid. - Yes. - Like it gets really scary when you're like, I want harm on another person to feel better. - Yes. - But to be like, "I'm gonna look like a clown in front of them, make them freak out.". - But, okay, revenge that I do love,

and I'm not a big revenge person, revenge that I do love is when someone is doing an action. and it's like hurting you. - Yeah. - Is to find a way to make that action hurt them. is the best. - Yes. - Now that's not the case here. But it's like, "Oh, this person keeps taking. my parking spot," and finding a way to be like, "So I put spikes on my parking spot and they parked on it.". That's a bad example, but you know what I mean. - I think you do like revenge. - No. (crew laughing). I was saying in movies and stuff, when it's just like the action that you're doing.

is finally gonna have consequences for you. - Yes. - Like finding a way. - That's like a well-written version of revenge. - I don't know a good example of it, but that's the best. - It's so funny that someone's just like, "Oh yeah, in Brooklyn things are hard. Oh, in Brooklyn, we wouldn't do that.". It's like, "Wait, hold on. I've never heard of Brooklyn.". - I know, like- - That is so funny to me. 'cause it's just gonna get someone really, really mad. - "What?". It's really funny. - It doesn't fix. her problem though. - I don't think revenge ever fixes your problem.

- I think asking that of revenge, you're never gonna be really satisfied. But I think revenge is related in like feeling better, which is tricky territory. - Yeah, it's catharsis. for people. - Yeah. - Which is a slippery slope. - Yeah. - That's why I'm like very hesitant about revenge. All right, it gets into the weird zone. And like, I don't know. - Do you know what would be really good revenge. but awful for an older person?

- Okay, we're back to old people. - Don't do this. - Is an underground. parking lot is moving their car. (laughs). - What? (laughs). - If they parked somewhere and then you go earlier. and move their car. - No, no, stop it, stop it. - I would never do that. - Horrible. - Why are you talking. about it? - I would never do that. - What old person are you getting revenge on? (crew laughing). - And what a weird way to like go underground. and move the car. - Listen, my papa lost his car in those goddamn shoes. He lost his car.

- We have to move on. - In underground parking lot. - We can't do this. - Underground parking lot. And he was gonna burn it down. And I thought- - For sure. - And no one even moved it. He just forgot where it was. (laughs). - I can't believe--. You know what would be nice? We have an underground parking lot. We move old people's cars. - It'd be really fun-. - I would never do it. - I didn't say. I wanted to do it. - You're don't need good revenge tormenting the elderly. - Oh my God, Shayne said spikes.

- I said if someone keeps stealing your parking spot, put spikes on your parking spot. - You're like, "Oh, these old people who are already scared, they have dementia-" - No, hey. - Fucking them up and making them feel. like they have dementia. - Hey, I didn't. I was never gonna do that. (all laughing). - Comments? - Comments. - Comments. - Comments, comments. - "Did this fix the issue? Does she still do petty things to you?". OP said, "No, I quit almost immediately after. That place was a dumpster fire.". - Oh, well, okay.

- Someone said, "Honestly, the Brooklyn bit is funny, but the real revenge was quitting. and leaving that mess behind. Unplugging your equipment and sabotaging work. is way past petty and straight. into hostile workplace territory. You didn't fix her, but you definitely fixed your situation. And that's the win.". - Okay. - Okay, that's the win. - Get outta there, girl boss. You deserve better. (all laughing). You deserve better. - You deserve better. (speaking indistinctly). (Amanda laughing). - Someone said, "Reminds me of the guy who pretended. to have never eaten, seen, or heard of a potato.

to his girlfriend's family, and then instead of fessing up, doubled down.". - I remember that. - That's a good one. - I remember that. - Okay. Well, yeah, I think that's also just, like, that's not good enough revenge. - Yeah. - It's not equal. to what they're doing to her. - But if it makes that person happy-. - It makes her feel good, fine. - Yeah. - Cool. - I think this one's kind of harmless. - I'm glad she did that before she quit, 'cause if she just quit, the Brooklyn girl would've been like, "I won.". - Yeah. - You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. - Okay.

Next story. This next story comes from r/AmItheAsshole. and was reposted to Two Hot Takes. Shout out to Morgan Absher and Trevor. of Two Hot Takes. - Hi Morgan. - "Am I the asshole for ruining my brother's proposal. and refusing to clear his name. until he gives me half the money for my wedding?". Whoa, okay. - Oh no, a wedding one. - I think revenge is a little leveled up here. - Yeah. - "Throwaway account. I, a 35-year-old man, admit to being a spiteful person when pushed. But I want to know if I'm truly the asshole. when I gave multiple and explicit warnings.

as to deter my vengeance. I have a younger brother, Todd, who's 29, who had a complicated birth. and had to stay a month in the ICU. And because of that, my parents have always doted on him. and almost denied him nothing, even if it was to the detriment of my sister Abby, who's 32, and I. My brother drinks in on the attention. and has on more than one occasion made himself. the center of attention at either my, my sister's, or a cousin's special event. Because of this, Abby and I have a strained. relationship with Todd and our parents.

Unfortunately, Todd met and fell in love with Lucy, who's 24, who announced her own pregnancy. at the baby shower my mom held for Abby. When I proposed to my wife Michelle, who's 30, I just wanted to elope. But she really wanted her family to be there, so I invited my family out of obligation. While out, my best man Jim, who's 35, noticed a receipt. from a jewelry store slipped out of Todd's pocket. Jim confronted Todd about this, which led to an argument. Jim told me everything, and I told Todd.

that he was no longer to be a groomsman. because I knew he was going to propose at my wedding. Todd cried to our parents, and which led to a blowout. In my parents' eyes, since Todd never admitted. that he was going to propose to Lucy at my wedding, I was unfairly judging him. I refused and brought up Todd's past behavior. My parents couldn't refute this. and got Todd to agree to not try anything at my wedding. This wasn't enough to convince me to let him be a groomsman, but I warned him that if, as a guest, he'd try anything,

I would make him regret it. Fast forward to the wedding and surprise, surprise. Todd walked over to Lucy. and proposed to her during Michelle's. father-daughter dance." - Oh. - "And did it in a way so that everyone would notice. Cue my revenge. Jim and I had hired a woman. to pretend to be Todd's side piece, who cornered Todd and Lucy, and claimed that she was pregnant with his baby.". Whoa, they had it in the chamber. - Whoa, they had an actor on set, whoa. - They had an "Ocean's 11" sting ready.

- Whoa. - "Todd denied this, but when she called his phone, I gave her his number, and messed with Todd's phone to incriminate him. It didn't look good. Lucy threw the ring back at Todd and left in tears.". - Oh. - "When Todd saw the smile on my face, he knew that it was me, and I didn't respond to a single call/text from him. or my parents until after the honeymoon. Lucy has thrown Todd's stuff out. and has been denying access to their kid. Todd is furious and is demanding that I clear his name. I sent him a text saying that I had no idea.

what he was talking about, as well as a screenshot. of a bill for the wedding, and gave a vague message. demanding reimbursement for half of the wedding costs. Michelle knew the whole time what I was planning. and gave me the green light. after Todd ruined her moment with her dad. So I felt pretty good. But now even Abby thinks I went too far. Am I the asshole? For clarity, Abby is the sister, Michelle is OP's wife, and Lucy is Todd, the brother's, girlfriend. Edit: because-" - That just pissed me more. - No, I got it. - "Edit: because I keep. seeing this and/or people were asking questions,

I warned Todd multiple times. that if he proposed at my wedding, I would make him regret it. During the father-daughter dance, there was a spotlight on Michelle. and her dad with a camera on them that was recording live. on a large screen for everyone to see. Todd pulled Lucy out and knelt down. right in the eye line of the camera. And that's how everyone saw. In specific situations, I can see an argument of Lucy being innocent, but she's not innocent overall. As stated previously, Lucy announced her own pregnancy. at Abby's baby shower.

So she likes to steal the attention too.". - Yeah, but- - Dude, um, no. You went way too far. - Yeah. I feel like all I'm gonna say is yeah, but. - Yeah, but are you joking? There's a child involved. - Do you think the woman who they hired. to be the side piece ate at the wedding? - Did they get her through an agency? How much did they pay her? - Where'd she sit? Did she dress up? I just can't believe that. - After than, one of our guests, Christopher Nolan, was like,

"I must cast you in my movie.". She won. - Stop inviting him places. You went too far, bro. - Yeah, it's like, wow, that was more creative than I was assuming. I thought the revenge was like, we're gonna make him pay for the wedding, or like, that's very extreme and intense. - Here's the thing. - That led to a lot. of bad shit. That definitely, to me, 'cause there's a lot of stories we read where it's like, "I cut this person out of my life.". And I'm like, "This sounds like grounds for that.

This person does not respect or care about OP at all.". - Yeah, right, Todd is not doing good things. Like that's ridiculous that he-. - Todd's a piece of shit. - Yeah. But everyone's kind of being nutty right now. is kind of my thesis. - Yeah. - But here's the thing is, growing up. in an unfair household will (bleep) with your brain. You know what I mean? Like it will- - Totally. - I can like try to put myself in this person's position. and be like, "At the biggest climax of my life, you're gonna still take attention from me?".

And see how that drives a person mad. But this is driving them mad, you know what I mean? I have been so upset when I am not treated fairly. that it makes me wanna do crazy things. But that doesn't mean you should, you know? - Yeah. - Right. And his whole wedding, all he's thinking about, like during the father-daughter is, like, "Oh, I can't wait for my thing to go.". It's like, dude, you're not even focusing. on your own wedding. - Yeah. But also, yeah, can't wait to make. Todd even more pissed. - Yeah.

- Because you're like- - It sounds like a movie. - Yeah, exactly. - To stage an affair, it's just a lot. - Like have a glass of champagne. - Or five. - It's just at that point, as soon as that proposal happens, it's like, I would've been down. for a lot of versions of revenge. But it's like, for one, just kick him out. Kick him out of the wedding. right then and there. - Yes. - Totally fair. Say like, "Yeah, you owe me money. for like stealing a moment of this.".

But to stage an affair is so intense, especially hearing they have a kid. I'm like, so they're gonna be separated. - That's so messy. - Also, he's like, "My wife gave me the green light,". because he knows that he's gone too far. to be like, "Yeah, my wife gave me the green light.". So it's okay, and it's like-. - No. - It's actually not. - What would you guys do? I would go up to the DJ. and say what car Todd drives, and be like-. - Somebody made this- - A white Mazda. is being towed. - Yes. I would've get his- - Then he's stuck. at the wedding. You want him out.

- I would say something like that. - I think I would just be like, "I can't believe you did this. Leave.". - Right. - It sucks. I mean, it really is like, like the hindsight of it that he can't have is like, when you know, clearly at this stage, he knew that his sibling was such a piece of shit. that he's going to steal the spotlight. He's going to do everything he can. It's like, yeah, you don't invite him. to the wedding at that stage. He already knew, like, "I'm not gonna make you a groomsman.". - It's like the guy with the toenails. Like, do you feel better?

Are you feeling better? - Yeah. And also, just even sitting up for OP, it's really shitty that, like, the father-daughter dance? - Oh, right. - That's messed up. - Everyone's being messy. I don't agree with anybody. - I don't wanna discount that Todd is awful. - Awful. - I don't understand people. who want to propose at other people's weddings. - I don't get it. - I'll never understand it. 'Cause I'm like, it doesn't even get to be your moment. You're at someone else's moment. - No, it's weird. - It feels like a purely. malicious act. - It's weird. - You're taking one of your primary moments of your life.

and using it as a malicious act against someone else. I'm like, that's weird. - Did you ever get far enough in "Vanderpump". to see Scheana and Brock wanna get engaged. during James Kennedy's wedding? - I don't think I saw that. - And they're all like, "Babe, no, don't do this.". - And why did they wanna do it? - I mean, for reality stars sometimes, I'm like, they're like, "Well, cameras are here.". - Yeah. - Like they did that, like a Bachelor wedding did that. And it was like the golden bachelor. Somebody got engaged. I don't know why people are like,

well, if everyone's dressed up, might as well. - It's a family gathering. It's just like the opportunity. I just think it's so selfish. - Yeah, but he did it on purpose because the brother. was like, "If you do this at my wedding, blah, blah.". He already set it up, like, "Please don't do this at my wedding.". And yet he did it during-. - Just disrespectful. - Super disrespectful. - So disrespectful. - Like maybe when your family's gathered. for a mutual holiday, right? Like Christmas doesn't belong to anybody. New Year's doesn't belong to anybody. - I think this is definitely an everyone sucks, 'cause I'm not sitting here saying Todd's a good guy. He did a horrible thing.

It's just the revenge, I feel like, I don't think the revenge was accurate. in that, like I think this was too different of revenge. If Todd like slept with OP's ex-wife or something, or if there was like an infidelity type thing, it's like, okay, you're getting infidelity revenge. But this was a weird, that was a sidestep. - You're lying. Like maybe if Todd- - You're lying. - Did have a side piece, and you invited the side piece, maybe. - Yeah. If you found out Todd was cheating on his wife, sure.

But it can also be dangerous. is my take with that stuff. - I also feel like if there's kids involved, revenge, you can't do that. - Agreed. - Kids shouldn't be involved in adult revenge. - Agreed. - So the verdict on Reddit was kind of a perfect blend. of asshole/not the asshole and everyone sucks here. It's very split. Comments: "Are you an asshole, yes. Is your brother a bigger asshole. who totally deserved what he got? Also yes. You're also my type of petty. I applaud you, good sir.". 5,000 upvotes.

Someone else said, "Everyone sucks here. Yes, Todd and Lucy had a comeuppance coming. In fact, it was long overdue. But where you overstepped was imploding their relationship, which includes a perfectly innocent child. That child deserves a home with both parents, as horribly self-involved as they are. You need to call Lucy right now and come clean. Then let her and Todd figure it out. And for the sake of everyone around you, go no contact with Todd and Lucy for at least a while. This relationship just got nuked from orbit from all sides. It's time to let it die so that it doesn't explode.

at some poor cousin's event.". I think there's a lot of stories like this, when we're reading stories that are like, because when I'm reading them, it's a hypothetical that we're reading. We're not living it. I think the internet can be like, "Yeah, this (bleep) rocks.". 'Cause it's not reality. But when you're in things, you're like, "Oh, shit, this hits different.". - These are people. - Yeah. - The one that was like, "I applaud you,". it's a funny term to say you're applauding, 'cause it's like, it's a good movie. It's entertainment, but that's somebody's life. I don't applaud that 'cause it just makes, yeah.

- Working in this field where we're on the internet so much. and we see how people talk about real things that we do. from an internet side, there's two versions of everyone nowadays. And there's the internet version and the real life version. And the way we talk about things. on the internet is so desensitized. We're desensitized across the board. Even when it comes to things we don't think about. I think this is one where it's like, this hits harder than we're realizing. - I applaud you, sir. - And it's also like,

the thing that I like hold a little bit is like, "Oh, you're a bad person, so I can do whatever I want to you.". It's like, things are still bad. Lying is still bad. - Yeah. - Even if you're doing it to a bad person. Like be strategic and smart with what you're doing. Yeah, I mean, catharsis can lead people down a dark road. - Especially when you grow up. That's why it's other territory when like it's from birth. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like my brother will find parking faster than me,

and I'm like, "That's so not fair!". And it's 'cause my younger self is coming out, right? And I'm like, "Angela, let it go.". (Amanda laughing) - Yeah. - "You found parking, that's so unfair. Just smash into a car." - "Do you always do this?". Okay, our next story. This comes from r/pettyrevenge. "The office white elephant gift exchange. should not be mandatory. I hate white elephant office gift exchanges. Every year, our team joins slash competes.

with two other groups on our floor. Participation isn't mandatory, but there's a distinct message of everyone is expected. to be a part of this team-building exercise. The combined group is large enough. so anyone can add a gift anonymously. For the past few years, I have been secretly sabotaging. the exchange in the hopes we'll switch. to Secret Santa so I can opt out. My petty revenge, every year I contribute a nice gift. obviously from me, along with one or two. anonymously given bad gifts. Every year, I get a little bolder and go a little farther.

Here's what I've contributed for the past few years. 2021, I put a potato inside an iPhone box. and shrink-wrapped it. 2022-" - Sick, dude! - Nice! "2022, a Bible from a used bookstore, a toy American flag, and a red MAGA hat I found in a parking lot. The next day, HR sent an office-wide email. about politics in the workplace.". - (laughs) That's funny. - That is actually really funny. - "2023, toy handcuffs, a cheap eye mask,

and a cat toy I modified to look like a riding crop. The next day, HR sent another office-wide email.". - This is funny. - "2024, a bottle of Robitussin, a bottle of Night Train. Night Train is a cheap, super strong wine, and a copy of the National Enquirer. Our white elephant exchange is next week. I'm thinking about giving a carton of cigarettes. and a set of fake eyelashes. Okay, edit. - What's that one about? (all laughing). Huh? - He's like, "And now I just found them from my wife's bag.".

- Yeah, ey! - "Edit, yes, I wasn't expecting this to be so popular. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my hatred. for team-building exercises and white elephant exchanges, especially when they're not mandatory. but you can't just decline to participate. I found my people, thank you.". - I love that shit. I think that's really funny. And I also feel like we used to do it with my aunts. and uncles and it would be a fight. - It's intense. - It was like that, I'm number two, so- - Two steals. - Two steals. - Two steals. And it's just like, "Oh, great, I got this gift.".

And then it's your aunt who's just like, "Did you not like that?" - I know. White elephant gift exchanges, as someone with social anxiety, they're awful, 'cause every gift that you manage to have for a second, you have to pretend it's the best shit-. - Oh my God. - You've ever seen. - But then I love social, like I love just watching interactions. - Same, where people go- - And it's so fun to watch. - "Oh my God, a porcelain cow where you put milk in it. and you pour it into your coffee.". That genuinely happened, and I was like, "This is so cute.".

- "Oh my God, this is so gay.". - And you're looking at the person who's just like, "I don't know who put that in there.". - "Your uncle and I found this at Hobby Lobby. and we love them." - Yeah. - I think this is a fun thing. I don't think there's, 'cause we're going back to like, this is harmless. - This is good, this is good. - This is harmless. - This is very funny. I just need to understand the lashes and the cigarettes. - That was good. - The other ones, I'm like, yeha, totally. But this one, I'm like-. - Yeah. - What is it?

- I need to know what theme that is. - Is it like- - Yeah. - What is it? - Comments, "OP should put in there. a lavishly framed photo of their boss. People will be stuck between not wanting to look rude. like they don't want it and desperately. trying not to get it.". That's a good one. - That's a good one. I would do one that's like a T-shirt that says, "I hate these white elephant gift exchanges.". - Oh, that's a good one. - I wish these things. weren't mandatory. - Oh, that's funny. - I came to this white. elephant gift exchange and all I got was this stupid shirt. - Yeah. - Yeah, oh, that's funny.

- Or like just a piece of paper that's like, "Does anybody not wanna do these anymore?". They're like, "Whoa." - It's wrapped in a huge box, and they have to open the box and just find. the little piece of paper that says that. - Someone said, "One year, I was trying to sabotage. and gave a can of Spam, a book of limericks, and some old Ferrero Rocher. That was the one everyone fought over. Sometimes it makes no sense.". Someone said, "I always love the gifts. that are obviously from raiding the office supply closet. Staples and Bic pens for the win.". Someone said, "Who is this revenge on exactly?".

Someone said, "The stupid tradition, of course.". - Yeah, you're just like pissed you're there. - You're just pissed at the world. - Yeah. - Yeah, and you got 'em. - But you know what? They're participating pretty well. - They are. - They're making it fun. - Yeah, they're kind of making it fun. - I think they're actually the reason they're still around. - Yeah, exactly. - Sorry, man. In your lust for revenge, you brought life. to the situation. - Yeah, they're like, "These white elephants are getting really fun.". - They're really silly. - Those lashes. I tried them on and had a cigarette for the first time. - My husband touched me for the first time. - Yeah, "Honey!". - "Look what I got at the white elephant!".

- Cigarettes. - My two favorite things. Potatoes and cigarettes. (both laughing). - You know with what, someone's lashes, it looks like it's an hour-long blink. - You get fanned away, you're like, "Whoa.". - What is going on? - Where did you get. those shoes, grandpa? (all laughing). - Hey, don't bring that back. Marshmallow shoes. - All right, it's time for our final story. - What?

I'm having so much fun and I don't wanna go. - The food we ordered hasn't even gotten here. - Yeah, food. - Where is it? - Our final story comes from r/NuclearRevenge. - Oh. (laughs) - Okay, this is spooky. - This is as extreme of revenge. as it can possibly get on Reddit. Look, this is probably gonna be too far for most of us, so let's just enjoy the ride. - Okay, buckling up. - "She cheated on me, so I had a threesome. with her former ex-boyfriend. and the guy she cheated on me with.".

(Shayne exhales). - (bleep) Bitches get money. - Yeah. - Whoa. "She cheated on me, so I (bleep). every person possible." (laughs). - "She cheated on me, so I (bleep) everyone in America.". (Shayne laughing). - Yeah, yeah, what? - I (bleep) the entire state of Colorado. - Yeah. (laughs).

- "I (bleep) all of Colorado when she cheated on me. Nuclear.". - "Everyone meet me at Red Rocks. We go." (laughs). - "I caught her texting somebody else. I (bleep) everyone in our town.". (all laughing). - "That wasn't for me. It was to go against her.". (all laughing). - That's what you did for revenge? Revenge. Yeah. (laughs). - Yeah. - Clip ends there. - Okay. All right. "To clear up any confusion that might come up,

you have to know that I'm a bisexual man.". This would've been so much funnier if he didn't. (laughs). - I was gonna say, "I'm straight." - "I'm fully straight. But I love revenge.". - "But I fucked these two guys to get after her. (laughs). I'm a straight man who took (bleep).". (all laughing). (bleep) her. - Get the fuck- - Get her. - "I'm as straight as can be, and I had two dicks, (bleep) her.". - "At the same time, and I still. see those (bleep) once a week.".

- He's like, he's like, "Suck it, Britney." (laughs). - "I'm so straight, but she (bleep) with me. I'm on Grindr everyday.". (all laughing). - "And I've been doing that for 11 years.". - "11 years. I got you, Britney, yeah.". - "Don't you dare do that again.". - "My husband Charles supports me.". (all laughing). - "I hate (bleep) men.". - It's like, "I think you're gay, man.". He's like, he's like, "No, I just live a life of vengeance.". (all laughing) - Yeah. "No, just women lie to me, man.

So I (bleep) men.". (laughter continues). - And that's where the cigarette and the lashes come in. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. - [Angela] Holy shit. - I love this guy. - "I'm so straight, dude. (bleep) her.". - Okay, okay. - Okay. - Woo! - "To clear up any confusion that might come up, you have to know that I'm a bisexual man. I love sharing this story because I'm still proud of it. A few years ago, my ex-girlfriend cheated on me.

with another guy. She then had the audacity to tell me. that if I was a grown-up, that I could deal with it, and that she hopes we can still be friends. But she lost any feelings for me. and is fully in love with this new guy now. If she hadn't said that, I probably wouldn't have made this plan. But now, I had to teach her a valuable lesson. I was in a depressed state for a long time. and couldn't bring myself to delete her number, and she thought I was her friend now. She started to send me pictures of her. and her new boyfriend with laughing emojis.

She didn't even care about how much she had hurt me. And then one day, while I went through Tinder, I found someone who was quite familiar, her new boyfriend. Of course, I wouldn't tell her. that her new boyfriend is on Tinder. In fact, I matched with him, which was quite surprising. because I thought he was straight. And we started a conversation. He didn't know who I was. She never told him she was in a relationship. while she was flirting with him. But this was perfect. We had longer conversations, and he told me more and more about himself. Over the weeks, we learned more and more about each other,

and now I had a plan. I suggested that we could meet each other at a bar. He agreed. Keep in mind, he was still in a relationship. with my ex-girlfriend at that time. When we met, we had a great time, and one date became many dates. It took me a few months, but then I got him to the point. where he developed feelings for me, and I was his affair. What he didn't know was that I got in contact. with my girlfriend's former ex-boyfriend as well. He broke up with her because he came out as gay. I was in contact with both guys.

The ex-boyfriend and I got along very well. In fact, I made him a close friend of mine. In our conversations with my "new boyfriend,". we talked about sexual desires, and he told me that he always wanted to have a threesome. So I suggested one with the gay ex-boyfriend. I knew that he was his type because we kind of look alike, and he had feelings for me. So I asked the gay ex-boyfriend. if he wanted to become the third one. And to my surprise, he said yes. I'm honestly still surprised. how all of that worked out without her noticing. But it did. And then the day came where I decided to go nuclear.

The two guys came to my apartment. I led them to the bedroom, and they started talking to each other. While they talked, I took a selfie from a safe distance, close enough that she could see their faces, but far enough that they wouldn't notice. Then the action started. Of course, I won't go into any detail. But damn, I enjoyed it more than anything in the world. A few days after this, I told him that now. that I granted him the wish of a threesome, I wanted something in return. I told him that I don't wanna be in an affair any longer, and told him that he should either break up with her. or I will break up with him.

I knew it was hardcore manipulative, but I had a plan, and I had full control over him. He actually broke up with her and threw her out. I even got him to move out of his apartment. to move in with me, meaning that she lost. both her home and her boyfriend. But I wasn't done yet, because,". I'm sorry, this is crazy. This is insane. - Whoa, what? Okay. - Woo, I mean- - He's just sitting there. Go on. - I'm like, "You didn't stop at the threesome?". - "But I wasn't done yet.".

- "But I wasn't done yet.". - Two (bleep) wasn't enough. - I called her dad. (all laughing). - "Oh, Britney's dad.". - Cut to Ben Savage in Princess Bride. Was that the end of the story? "We're not done yet.". (all laughing). "That's not the end of the story yet.". - "This is nuclear.". - Wow. - Okay. "But I wasn't done yet, because after that, she texted me with crying emojis. that her boyfriend dumped her.

and that she regrets leaving me. I then said, "Your boyfriend? Are you talking about this guy?". And I sent her the selfie I took. She called and texted me several times, but I ignored her. My plan was almost successful. There were only three things left that I still had to do.". Three? - Three? - Three. - The boyfriend-. - Boyfriend, the ex, and the dad. - And the dad. - Three (bleep). - I only had four things left. Boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, dad, and find her long-lost brother. And go to Sweden and (bleep) her brother.

- Sweden. "The first was that I told her mother, who hates infidelity more than anything. because her father cheated on her mother with another woman. You could say "like father, like daughter.". Her mother was angry but thanked me for telling her. From what I've heard, her mother cut ties with her. But I admit that I don't know if that actually happened, and I don't think that it happened, but it would be funny if it was true. - So funny. - The second thing I did. was dump him, because unfortunately, he was a cheater too. And I hate infidelity as well. Holy fuck. - Oh my God.

- This is crazy. - This is-. - This is the craziest shit I've read in a long time. - Wow. - He goes, "Yeah. We could share these drawers. I'm breaking up with you.". - I'm breaking up with you because you're a cheater. - Yeah. - " The last thing I did. was go out with the gay ex-boyfriend, and after a few dates we got together, and we are still a couple. (sighs). - Does the gay ex-boyfriend know about all of this? - Does anybody know about any of it? - In the end- - Well, mom does. She's like, "Well done.". - "Thank you for telling me.".

- "Yeah, I hate infidelity.". - "In the end, I destroyed both her. and the guy she cheated on me with. and couldn't be more proud of myself.". "Edit: okay, for some reason, I still get too many messages. No, the (bleep), I will not tell you details. about the threesome, you horny mother(bleep), so stop asking.". - Bunch of stupid-. - [Amanda] Why do they wanna know? - "Give me details about how it went.". - Yeah, "But what about the threesome?". - Yeah, how'd that work? - Also. (all laughing).

- (laughs) Yeah. Yeah, how did that work? - Yeah, how'd that work out? - Yeah. - Can we get an update on how that worked? How did that work? - How did that work? - Take your pancakes out. We're know how that worked. - Also, what's a safe distance picture? That's what I wanna know. - I know. That, to me, is the shittiest thing. - He's under the bed, woo! - I was like, "Hey, you took photos of people. without their consent." - That's so (bleep) up. - Yeah. - There's so much. fucked up shit. - There's so much. fucked up shit here. - Oh, oh, this is fucked up.

This is very fucked up. - God. - But you know. what's more (bleep) up? - I wonder. if that ex-boyfriend knows about all this. - What more (bleep) up? - Where do they get those shoes? (crew laughing). Weird. - Where the hell? Shoes for Crews, guys. I said this. - Yeah, this is, are the comments rejoicing this person? - Yeah, rejoicing? - I think- - That's a church term. - Thank you. - Cue previous conversation, I think they are, 'cause I think we're watching, we're reading this and watching this like a movie. - Yeah. - And once again,

forgetting, it's like, hey. 'Cause if I knew someone who, like I hate infidelity. Obviously, I hate cheating. But if I knew someone who's like, "Oh, my ex cheated on me.". I'd be like, "That sucks so much.". And then they went into all this detail. I'd be like, "That's crazy.". I'm probably gonna distance myself from you, because I'm worried that if I do anything. that pisses you off, it's like, this is Eric Cartman. - Literally. - Like the levels. of just like- - Well, if you saw this. in a trailer with a bunch of hot people, you'd be like, "I'm buying tickets.".

- Oh yeah, yeah. - But real people's lives, this feels, whew. - I mean, the boyfriend. Yes, okay, the other boyfriend. Yes, he cheated on her with this guy. But like, "You gotta move in for pure revenge.". - I was like, the threesome felt like enough revenge. The threesome was, you did it. - The falling in love part? - This is a patient man. - This is quite a bit. Comments, someone said, "Maybe Hallmark. could make a holiday story out of this.". 2,000 up votes. - Hallmark? This is HBO, "After Dark." - This is HBO.

This is HBO. - What are we talking about? - This is Pluto TV. - Someone said, "Do I believe it? Kind of. Is it possible? Yes. Do I want it to be real? Yes, yes, I do. Dude did not let her slide. Man really hit her with the Ebenezer Scrooge, past, present, future.". OP said, "To be fair, you are not the first one who thought that. I told this story to some of my friends, and one of them also didn't believe it at first. until I showed them the selfie.". Someone said, "Man, I feel bad for your man. LOL. I'd be devastated to learn that someone.

was only with me to get back at someone. Even if it was just initially, I sure hope you told him this truth. If not, you genuinely don't deserve him. Big yikes." - Whoa. - Someone said, "Jesus Christ, save some (bleep). for the rest of us, my guy.". - Oh. - Three million up votes. - THree million up votes. - Fuck, 100 million up votes. - And how does it work? - Okay. - Three million up votes. - Also, just chiming in for my friend. - Yeah, explain that. - So if you could show us how that-. (both laughing).

No, I think someone getting with you. out of pure revenge is kind of the same. as infidelity for me. - You're lying. - Like that's a lie. That's a big lie. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's a big secret, that's infidelity. in a different font. - Yeah, yeah. - But goddamn. - This is like so- - Wow. - This is nuclear. - Holy God. - This definitely is nuclear. - Like, yeah, she's, oh my God, I just wanna know what the mom, the mom's like has a list. And she's like, "Well, vengeance has been done on my daughter.".

"I hate infidelity.". It's like, lot of other stuff is happening here. - Yeah, is the mom gonna be like, "And who else did you (bleep)? You did what?". - "Honey, there's someone on the phone for you. Wait a second.". - OP must be very hot, because every guy he talk to is like, "Oh, yeah, I'll (bleep) you, dude.". - Yeah, picture. - Like the ex-boyfriend. had to probably know him and then like-. - I mean, this is a case of like. hot people shouldn't be trusted. (laughs). - Probably not. - Because my God.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Hot people shouldn't be trusted. - And that's the lesson of today's-. - I'm kidding, no cheaters shouldn't be trusted. - What I wanna know is, does the boyfriend know this story? - Know why they got together in the first place. Yeah, 'cause he thinks, "Oh, we got together. out of just getting together for a threesome.". Not realize, "Oh, it was all for pure revenge. and that he only got with me-". - He must know because he's telling. his friends about the selfie. - I don't know. - Remember "How to Lose a Guy. in 10 Days" when they both find out.

that they're like doing a challenge. and they're both so sad? I remember when I was little, I didn't understand that. I was like- - Never seen that movie. - Oh, you. - What? - The yellow backless dress? - It's classic. - Oh, wait, wait, sorry, sorry, sorry. - Kate Hudson. - No, I haven't seen it, never seen it. - Green light. - I'm thinking about "10 things I Hate About You.". - Oh. - You've never seen that? - I've seen that one. - Julia Styles. - Yeah, I've seen that one. It's "Taming of the Shrew.". - But I remember watching a movie. where two people were trying to get together. for a goal that wasn't getting together. And then they fall in love and they were so,

"How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," spoiler alert. They're so sad because they fall in love. And that's why I'm like, it's so (bleep) up to not be honest. with someone when you are dating them and be like, "Hey, you're here to play a bigger role. in something much larger." - It's in your questioning it. Did you really wanna be with me for me or were you like-. - That's the problem, like that's why I hate. secrecy and lies and stuff, 'cause I'm like, man, trust is hard to rebuild. - Very hard. - Like it's very hard. to rebuild, but if someone cheats on you, just have a threesome with everyone they've ever met. - Oh yeah, (bleep) the town.

- (laughs) (bleep) the town. - Okay, my version of this that I think is harmless. is I get everybody on a group text. - And you do what? - And we go like, "Guys, can't believe we're all here.". - You're saying with your partner and the person. that she cheated with? - I had everybody. I had her, I had him. - You did that? - No, I'm just trying to do a version of this. - That's a good one. - Yeah. And send a bunch of weird emojis. - Yeah. - And don't say anything. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Got 'em, done. - Yeah, nice. - Well. Damn, this was insane. Thank you both for joining me for all this revenge.

- I laughed so hard. - That was really good. - This was one of the funniest episodes I've ever been. - (laughs) I can't believe, I can't believe, "For the most part, I'm straight.". That part is so funny. "It's 'cause she cheated on me.". - Truly, I can't thank you both enough. for like what you bring to this show. - You too, buddy, you're so funny. - Thank you. - I feel like I just. hang out and read. - I love these stories. because I just visually picture them in my head, and I just love playing around. I'm like, "Well, what if?". Or like picturing them. - Yeah, and I just like,

it's also, there's so many people. that are also laughing with us that you guys don't see. There's like cam ops going, "Oh!". - Oh, wait, they're doing what? - They're going, "Oh!". (Amanda laughing). - Eric does that every time. - Did it look bad? - It did look bad. They're like, "Britney, what? Oh!" (laughs). - You were talking about getting an Emily gasp. sometimes from stories. - I get an Emily gasp once a shoot block. (all laughing). - [Emily] Wait, what's that? - Emily gasp is, it's funny but it's alarming.

(Angela gasps) - Yeah. (Shayne laughing). - There's another one. - No, an Emily gasp was like, "Yeah, I know.". - "You said that, oh my god.". - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I love it. It's your southern woman. "Oh my God." (Shayne laughing). - Oh my God. Clutch in your pearls. - Oh my God. - We love it. Basically, what we're saying is we're grateful to be here. - It's honor. - Grateful for everybody. on this team. - Yeah, we love it. Happy 150th. - Happy one. (stutters). - Happy 150, guys.

It's time to plug Shayne back into the wall. - Yeah. (laughs). No, seriously. - I'll see you on episode 200. (laughter continues). Thank you both for being here, and thank you all for watching. And we'll see you next Saturday. Bye. - Bye.