A Bad Case Of The Sillies | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hello, welcome to Reddit Stories. I'm Shayne and today's theme, "Silly.". Some silly stories. And I'm joined by two silly gooses. Uh, Sharks, uh, Spencer--. - Wait, wait. Sing a song for us. - What? Sing a song? (Spencer imitates rocket). (Shayne laughs). - We will take over the world. - Yeah. - Paid a million dollars. - That my first thought was Austin Powers as well. - Oh my God. (hands claps). - There it is. - Same brain.

- Hmm. You guys are in chairs for reasons we cannot tell you. - Hmm. - I got too silly with it. - Spencer got too silly with it. The couch will be back next week. - Mom and dad needed to be separated a little bit. - I was humping the couch. (producer laughing). - I wasn't gonna tell them and now you revealed it. - No, it's. I don't want like too much. Yeah and just, my neck hurt. and so it hurts for me to be like, too much. - Don't do that then. - You just did it. - Well, no, it hurts to prolong to keep it. Like I can, I was roaming when we did Resident Evil,

'cause I like to look back at you guys. - Oh. And I was wondering why--. - I just wanna take one more look at you. - I was wondering. - Sorry. - So Kiana picked all these stories. - Oh my God. They're gonna be silly. - They're gonna be fun. - These are gonna be some extra silly stories. I don't really know what Kiana's definition. of silly is, but we're gonna find out. - I think anything can be silly to Kiana. with the right like--.

- Packaging. - Mood. Yeah, with the right packaging. - With the right packaging. - We're about to read the most messed up story. we've ever heard, and Kiana's gonna be like, "Wasn't that silly.". - Yeah. - Like, what's silly anymore you know? - I don't know, man. I think my brain is too broken. Well, let's hop into these. - Okay. - Okay. This first story comes from True Off My Chest. (banner swiveling). I gaslight my husband when we fight. - This is silly. - So silly. - So silly. (Spencer laughs). - This isn't anything crazy. Just something funny that I want to tell people about,

but can't risk getting caught. My husband, who's 30 and I, 30, have been together for eight years. For the past couple of years I have been making him. a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day. to take to work. I use Welch's grape concord jelly. This is important for later. Every day he tells me that I make the best sandwiches. and I just say "I make it with love.". However, when we're fighting, he always says he can taste the difference in his PB&J. And I say, "Because I made it with hate.". But the truth is, he can taste the hate in his sandwich. because when we fight, I use organic sugar-free grape jam.

It's in the back of the fridge and he's never seen it. So it's what I use to convince him that he can't make me mad. or my anger makes food taste different. - So you're your man--. - I don't like this story. - Yeah. Your man lacks curiosity. He's not exploring the fridge. He's not exploring-- - Yeah, what. - To not, to not... I am so locked in on all of my fridge. - [Sharks] Yeah. - That you can't hide anything from me. - Like does he never go shopping? Is it just-- - [Shayne] Guess not. - He only eat one PB&J every day. - I would argue this is the ideal husband.

He's not asking questions. - Whoa. (Shayne laughs). - He's like, yeah, that, there was hate in that. (Shayne laughing) - That there was hate in that. - It sounds like he feels like he deserves it. Like he knows he did something wrong. - He's at work and he is like, "My wife made hate in my sandwich.". (Spencer spitting). (Shayne spitting). (Shayne laughing). Oh man! - This is weird. - [Spencer] It is. - I was struggling. I was like, "My husband was like, 'I never looked in the back of the fridge.'".

(Shayne laughing). - Your husband needs a... He's kind of a chef, isn't he? - Yeah. - Okay. Yeah. - I mean, he's not a chef. He's has a profession--. - But he like, he knows like, he knows the vide. - He cleans out the fridge like every two weeks. - Whoa, whoa. - He like takes things out of ugly bottles. and puts 'em in nice bottles. - [Shayne] That was cool. - And I'm like, "Well, we don't have to.". And he's like, "We're doing it," so. - Oh. - That's his vibe. - I remember your guest, the fridge. - So he would've clocked the jelly? - Mm-hmm. - He would've been like, "What is this?". - Like this isn't hate. This is lack of sugar.

- Yeah, exactly. - And what is hate, if not lack of sugar. - Oh my God. So true. - [Shayne] Oh. - Ow! (all laughing). Ow! Ow! Ow! He broke my knuckles. My hand is broken. - That was crazy. - That's my game. I like to hit it. - That was full on cat behavior there. - There. - Being all nice and just. (Shayne snarls). - I think we would have a lot. of fun if we just like fully fought.

- Oh my God. - Like, that'd be crazy. - Your whole body flies across the studio. - No, that's like that. Like, it would truly be like a cartoon. - It would be really funny... If you guys were just shittier people, it would make for great content. - We are shitty people. (Shayne laughing). - But like, if we boxed or something. - I would take your neck and the bottom of your ankle, and I'd go, one, two, three. (Shayne laughing). - You'd break me like Bane breaking Batman. You'd be like. - Yeah. I'd be like oh. Break break. - Burp, burp. (Sharks laughing).

- That's so good. That's really good. - Comments on this. Naughty husbands get the sad jam. (Spencer & Sharks laughing). - Yikes! - You didn't read that in the right accent, bro. Naughty husband. - Naughty husbands get the sad jam. - We shan't be telling your mother about this shan't we. - Shan't. - Someone else said, this reminds me. of something I occasionally do when my kids. are being stinkers. I make their sandwiches-- - I hit 'em. - With the end pieces that are all crust.

- Stinkers. - Ah, brutal. - Nothing un-sexy about a parent calling. their kids stinkers. - Yeah. - I feel like-- - Imagine you look at. your husband and you're like, "God, he was hot.". And then he calls his kid like, "You little stinker.". - I feel like if I were a dad, I'd be doing that. - I know. (Spencer laughing). That's why I would take your whole body and chuck it. - We're changing the narrative. - Lastly, someone says, my barista friend said, "When a customer is rude, she makes their latte. with decaf espresso.". - Whoa. - It's her way to get a little dig in. - What would-- - Whoa. - That's devious. - That's mean. - What would we do as like on Smosh.

and be like, oh, we'd wait. We take out a Reddit story. - Yeah. - Like we make--. - We delete our best Reddit story. (all laughing). I think my favorite moment. where I feel like I kind of got to punish the audience, or I don't know if punish is the right word. But just get to like slap in the face kinda of, was Smosh Mouth where it appears. and it's Angela in the lime shirt. - That was. - Those kind of pranks are-- - Goddamn. - Are so funny. And I mean, I think like, in a way... I think maybe people perceive,

like when we had you guys do the staring contest. - Yeah. - That was like a punishment. But it's like, no, we just, we thought that was legitimately really funny. - We thought you guys--. - That was the best content we've ever done. - That's legitimately so funny. And I'm sorry, I'm always gonna, but people love to cite that. It's like Smosh Games is washed. It's like, I counter that. and say that was actually one of. the funniest things we've ever done. - We laughed so hard. - It was really great. Okay, our next story, our next silly story. - [Spencer] Oh my God. - Silly. - That one was silly. - That was so fast. - That was really silly. - [Sharks] Yeah. - So we've already got hate sandwiches. - Mm.

(banner swiveling). - Am I the asshole. for not knowing a candle wasn't supposed to be lit? "It had wicks.". - Oh. - Me looking at my DVD collection. Like John Wick, I guess is the--. - John Wick. - Like, yeah. - Yeah pretty cool. - I wouldn't actually own those though. - Nice stuff. - I went to the bathroom last night and it was stinky. So-- (Spencer & Amanda laughs). - What happened? - These are so silly. - Dude my little stinkers. (Shayne laughing). - So I dropped some stinkers. (Amanda laughing). - Like how dad.

- Wow! So being the considerate boyfriend I am, I lit the candle my girlfriend left on top of the toilet. and then we went to walk the dogs. The candle looked like most scented candles I've seen. Round glass, tan colored wax inside. - Just describing a candle. Well, it had the. - Yeah. Round glass, tan colored wax inside, smelled good. Had (beep) wicks. We get back. Smoke alarm is going off. House is cloudy, but no worse than burning food in the oven. Smoke's worse in the bathroom. So I blow out the candle and she tells me, "You're not supposed to light that candle.".

What the (beep). Why would it have wicks? Why would she put it on top of the toilet? To me, it's like having a doormat. You're not supposed to step on in front of your door. Do most guys know about this? She seems mad at me, but I told her it's crazy to do that. Am I the asshole? I don't know. - This is new to me. - Wait--. - I don't know what this candle is, but I do. I am someone, I never leave a candle lit. when I'm not in the house. - No, no. - You blow out all the candles when you leave. - Yeah of course. - That's a recipe for disaster. - Wait a second. I know there's like bathroom things. that smell good, but if it has a wick, I would light it too.

But then I would blow it out. - Discussion of leaving an open flame in the house. is one thing. She's mad at him for lighting this specific candle, which he was like, "This candle looks like it was supposed to be lit.". She's mad at him for lighting that when it's like, "Oh, this isn't meant to be lit,". 'cause it just gave off a bunch of smoke. - I think I'm a little empathetic, 'cause this sounds like something I would do. - I think his reaction is bad. - It's strong. Yeah. - He needs to be like, "Oh, (beep) up.". - Yeah. Like, hey, sorry, but it's also a little, it's a little crazy. that there are candles you aren't supposed to light.

- I kind of agree. - A little silly that there's. So the verdict was, you're the asshole. Comments, dude, never leave a candle lit in a room. you're not staying in, but especially not when you're leaving the house. Your girlfriend might've wanted the candle. because it was pretty and you can pick it up to smell it. Yes, I can see why you thought it could be lit. But that takes a backseat to lighting it. and then leaving the house. You're the asshole. - It was stinky. - Someone else said, you're the asshole. All candles have wicks. Even the decorative ones. But more importantly, all candles that are meant. to be burned need to have the wick trimmed first.

If you don't trim the wick, then the candle is a fire danger. Did you trim the wick? I bet not. You also never leave a burning candle unattended. Don't ever light a candle in the. bathroom and leave the bathroom. I didn't realize this was our candle, bro. - Yeah. My goodness. - Jesus Christ, bro. - Oh my God. This is Yankee candle. - (indistinct) body works. Oh, what's the point of decorative candles like that? - Yeah. I don't understand that. Like, I love candles, but I get candles like that. I get candles that are meant to be lit. Like, yeah.

- I mean, he's an idiot for leaving it. Like, why did it smoke so bad? - Because it's clearly a candle that's-. - Oh, its a fake? - ... it's a decorative, it's a like a kind. of a decorative candle. And also if, if it's a candle that the, the wick needs to be trimmed. But most candles I get already have that done. - Oh no. She has decorative towels that you're not supposed. to touch, probably. Gee. - Lastly, someone said you're the asshole. One, you don't leave a lit flame. when you aren't in the house. You screwed up just by doing that. Two, not all candles are meant to be lit.

Some are just for decoration. Three. All you needed to do was ask if it was. okay to light the candle. - Why? - But then, you know, it was stinky. - It's so weird to me. that someone would ask every little thing, like, "Is it okay if I light this candle, I did a stinky?". - I am super, I am super unfamiliar with the idea. of a candle that looks and has wax. - Same. - But isn't meant to be lit. - I'm... - Especially placed in a place. like the bathroom where it's like-. - And I guess, and there must have been matches. Or a maybe, maybe he had a lighter. - Maybe he smokes. - He had a lighter on. - But I, I, I, yeah.

Or maybe the, the wick wasn't trimmed. I guess. - This is so silly. - I, I wanna hear Kiana's take on this story. - Yeah. The only thing that I I will flame him for. is I, I don't light candles then leave the house. I don't. - I don't. - I I wonder how long they've been dating. Like how long has he seen this candle there? And... - He's always been thinking about it, it's like, he's like, "I gotta light that thing.". - And how intense, like, was his number too? - Yeah. It must have been bad. - It must have been stinky. - Alright, update.

- Oh, ow, why, why is there an update? - Crazy story. To have an update? I'm, I've never been more pleased. - Okay. It is a (beep) candle. Like candle candle. I've been at work all night, but I got home. and just looked at the bottom. Instructions say, "Trim wick to a quarter inch. before lighting.". I did not do this being the apparent caveman. I I see candle, I light candle. She's asleep. So I can't rub it in her face. after she said that candle isn't supposed to be lit.

They're not meant for that. But this is all I need. Am I the asshole for leaving it lit for a quick walk. before bed with her and her the dogs? Yes. Am I an asshole. for thinking this stupid thing was in fact a candle? No. The cutting the wick thing was. ignorant for not thinking. The protective lid that usually comes with a plastic peel. around it would've prevented someone from lighting it. Otherwise, they probably should make the damn things. ready to go. Here's a lesson to anyone out there about to light a candle, apparently they have instructions. I now know she was wrong. and we never got into a major fight.

So I will humbly and in the least petty way, just leave the candle upside down next to the sink. So when she wakes up first to brush her teeth, she can know. that this candle was in fact meant to be lit. And that I was right. - Yeah. That'll work. That'll work. - Yeah. That'll that. It's gonna go great. - She's gonna love that. She's like, "Honey, you were right. And you know what?". "What?" "It's Christmas.". (Amanda laughing). (Shayne laughing). - I can't add links or pix here, but it's called Mermaid Shimmer from @Home. I may be dumb, but I can hang my hat up knowing I had.

every right to light it. Good night to all and have a pleasant tomorrow. I gotta be honest. I gotta be honest. You're the asshole for just... How you wrote that man. - Also upside down. That means the wick's gonna get all wet. and then you're never gonna be able to light it. - You're not supposed to light it. - Don't. Yes, we are. - We were trying to be empathetic to this guy, but the way he wrote that update just solidified. that he is such... - He's like, "Good night to all.". - Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow. I'm like, go (beep) yourself. - Go (beep) yourself. - I hope you catch on fire. - Mermaid Glitter or whatever it's called.

- I thought it was kind of funny. (Shayne laughing). - Oh, no, Spencer. You're and asshole. - Spencer, did you write this? - Yeah. I mean, to me it's just like, it's more of like a, it's, it's more of a (beep) you to this like Reddit. Like, you know, if some, if, if Reddit attacked me. for being like, dude, you didn't trim the wick. "You're, what are you (beep) stupid?". (Amanda and Shayne laughing). Like, I'd be like, you know, you guys, like, I'm gonna go like, live my life. I'm gonna go sleep next to my girlfriend. (Amanda and Shayne laughing). Like, like... - Spencer is the coolest ever.

- I, I will say I don't, I don't know how common. of knowledge like the trimming of the wicks is. - I did buy a wick trimmer after, you know what, I'm friends with Kiana, who's a, a candle expert. - But I feel like that's a, like. you're in the know of candles. - Here's the thing, I also love candles and not all candles. You need to trim the wick. Some come pre trimmed. - Do you, like a wood? - I've never, I've never trimmed a wick on a-. - Wood wick is great, but it can be loud and crackling. - Crackling. - Oh, I, I have one at home. - But I kind of like it. - I love it. What about a like a three wick candle?

- Then it goes too fast. - Ooh. See I like it. 'cause I like the throw. Peyton Manning crazy, man. The throw is like, how much. - Like a Peyton Manning. - It's like, it's how much scent it puts out. It's like-. - Oh. - Oh. - It's like, this candle is a good throw. Means that like, it, it puts out a lot of smell. - This thing is throwing scent around. - [Spencer] Yeah. - Whoa, - I went in the club. She was throwing candle. - Slinging scent. She was throwing. Yeah. (Shayne laughing). Okay, here we go. Moving on from that silly one. - That was so silly. - That was pretty silly. - Yeah.

- This next one comes from true off my chest. opened red tube parenthesis, pornography. on work laptop. - [Amanda] Ooh. - Received invite to meeting with management the next day. - Oh, buddy. Come on. - I was so stressed. I just have to let this out somewhere. At some point I logged into my Gmail on my work laptop. and all of my chrome bookmarks were imported. I enjoy wholesome amateur pornography. created by real couples where you can tell. they actually love each other and are enjoying themselves.

- So true. - I love that. - At some point I bookmarked. (Shayne laughing). I just dunno why that's so funny. I only like porn where I can tell they love each other. (Amanda and Shayne laughing). Yeah. At some point I bookmarked a red tube link. with a title like super real and authentic. - Okay. - On Monday, I was attempting. to find a public records link for work. with a similar name like supervisor, but clicked on that link. and suddenly saw red tube on my work laptop. I screamed out loud, I deleted the bookmark.

and my browsing history. The next day I got a teams invite for a meeting. with management for Thursday, today. We had the meeting today it was an annual performance. review and I did fine. There were no issues If the IT guys saw. that they did not wrap me out. I haven't been this relieved since the moment I gave birth. - It's a woman. - Oh, it's a woman. - Women can-. - She loves watching-. - Women. - Women watch porn. - Watch porn. - Oh yeah. - Women watch porn. Amateur porn. - I like her saying that. she screamed out loud just like she's on her laptop.

and just gets pulled up and she just goes, (Shayne barking). (Amanda laughing). I feel like this is a lesson in keeping your personal stuff. and work stuff separate. - Yeah. - That that can't accidentally happen. - Also, you need to, like, once you go on the site, you need to immediately delete it. Delete your search history and just-. - They were bookmarking stuff. - So like you... Well, yeah, I've never bookmarked porn. - No. - I just remember it. - I can fairly say I remember all the details, all the tags, everything. I can find it. - Yeah. (Amanda laughing).

- Searching my-. - Yeah. I have the Sherlock Holmes. - My mind palace. I go to my mind, palace just screams with porn playing. - Porn where they love each other. - Only where they love each other though. - That's fun. - Homegrown Red Tube. I feel like Red tube was such like-. - I gotta make sure they're married before I watch. - I get, I need to see. - I need to see that ring. - Yeah. It's funny. I mean, not to get too in the weeds, but like, I feel like Red Tube was like such a thing in. like 2013. - Yeah. - But now like it kind of fell off. It's a name I've not heard in a long time.

- Yeah. Oh, yes. - Yes. The name Red. - Tube. The old magics, - The lost stars. - Red Tube. This was from a month ago. - Whoa. - I gotta see if she's still up. - Yeah. Dude. - I gotta find this vid. - Oh, - Whoa, - Whoa. They love each other. and they're, I love it. They're hugging. - Yeah. I like to Google. - You can't, this is your. work iPad. - Can you imagine? - You imagine Reddit stories. Bailey's like, Hey, can we stop down? Shayne, what are you doing? - And I'm just sweating. I'm just like...

- Not the asshole. - Not the, not the, not the, oh, there's the asshole. (Shayne laughing). - Yes Jerry. - I was waiting. - Comments. It's gotta be because you totally only watch the most. wholesome porn. Someone else said, as someone who works. in it, we don't care. We're not snitches. Lastly, someone said a few years ago, I was working with someone who was always on Reddit at work. Never saw what specifically, but he was a chill dude. So we never looked too closely. One day we were testing out a new screen monitoring program.

with all of our CEO executives team. It randomly switches to this guy's screen. and everyone was treated to a he high image. of some woman being demolished by some kind of monster. The guy's supervisor just went white in the face. He was fired the next day. - Fired. - They were. They walked up to him and they were like, "Nerd.". - Yeah. - Yeah. Like literally, who cares, but demolished by a monster. Ugh, that sucks. You don't wanna see that. - Yeah. - Hard to see. - Not wholesome.

- Not wholesome girl. Oh, not wholesome. - No kissing, not - Watching. - It. No kissing. Yeah, - No hugging. - Oh, - Don't like that. - Premarital Not from me, bro. - No. - Silly. So anyways (beep) that couch. (Everyone laughing). I'm sorry. Just kidding everybody. - The sex story comes from BestofRedditForUpdates. My boyfriend's. This is a 21-year-old woman. My boyfriend's relationship. with his teddy bear is making me uncomfortable. - I've seen this film, the Mark Wahlberg one.

- Ted. - Yeah. - No. - Is this Mark? - AI. - The old movie? - He's got the teddy bear. It talks. - He's a Joe Osmond. - Okay, now please no joke. This is actually serious. Well, sorry. This is the silly episode. - Ha Kiana. This was supposed to be silly. - Okay, now please no joke. This is actually serious. I've been with my boyfriend for three months now, so it's pretty new so far. Everything is going well except this tiny little detail. He has this teddy bear. Let's name him Teddy.

Teddy has always been a part of my boyfriend's life. Teddy was given to him when he was born, and at around the age of five. or six, his parents tried taking Teddy away from him. He screamed and cried so loud without stopping, and they ended up giving up. So he kept Teddy with him his whole life. He mentioned Teddy to me pretty early, about a week. after us being together. He showed me pictures of him and I found it cute at first. He had plenty of pictures of him in different situations. Him with the mug, him laying in bed, him studying. I truly found it adorable since I thought it was. just a joke, really.

And didn't think that Teddy was such a big part of his life. The more we got to know each other, the more he started mentioning him, he'd often make jokes about him. When he had to come back to his flat, he'd say, "I have to come back. Teddy is waiting for me.". And then later he'd text me, "Okay, I put Teddy to bed, so now I might go to sleep as well. I don't wanna wake him up.". Again, a little weird but cute still. But he started talking about him constantly, always linking what we were doing to him. "Oh, I wish Teddy was with us to see that.". "Teddy doesn't really like people, so I won't take him. with me for this party," et cetera.

He'd send me selfies with him at least twice a week. He also sometimes said weird stuff. Like whenever we watched a sex scene in a movie, he'd say, that's what me and Teddy do when we're alone. - Stop now. Stop. - That's a, that's a hard, because everything, everything up to then I was like, oh, it sounds like me and my cat. - Spencer don't-. - I'd like, oh, Cleo's at home. Cause his lonely. - Yeah. Everything was kind of silly until-. - Cleo's alive. Teddy is... - This is like Stewie and Rupert. - All of it. Yeah. All of it could be passed as silly.

until it was like, and I (beep) him. - Yeah. (Everyone laughing). - Jesus. I thought these were silly. - Or when I asked when he lost his virginity, he answered, Oh, I lost it with Teddy a few years ago. - Whoa, whoa. Whoa. They were jokes that made me uncomfortable. He always seemed to consider him. as a baby slash his son slash his brother. So him being sexualized was extremely weird for me. I told him then that it was weird and he just laughed. But I don't think he took me seriously.

About a month ago, I told him I was okay. with him bringing Teddy when he was staying around my flat. I could see it was making him sad to leave him. and also was very curious to finally see him in person. I can't go to my boyfriend's flat. There are rules that are strict. He can't invite anyone. So that day I drove to his flat. and he went with all his stuff. And Teddy, when he got in the car, he pulled him out from his bag. and had him give me a kiss on the cheek. When we drove, he opened the window. and put Teddy out of the car, a bit like a dog would. He said it was rare for Teddy to travel like that, and he could feel that he was happy.

Teddy smells a lot. My boyfriend hasn't washed him in 12 years. for the rest of the car drive, he hugged him and gave him kisses. He has a weird twitch. where he just compulsively pats the back of Teddy. It makes a weird sound because Teddy used. to be able to play music. When you pressed his belly, he always rubs Teddy's clothes in between his fingers. You can guess that Teddy is in a pretty bad state. He used to be red and now he's just gray. When we're together in bed, he always puts Teddy's mouth on my mouth. and I always avoid it as I find it disgusting.

And I told him that I hate it, but he doesn't listen. He always tries to have Teddy touch my boobs or my arse. When we make love, I often end up finding him in between us. And every time I throw him away, my boyfriend says, "Oh no. He likes to watch", in a joking way. He often mentions us having a threesome with Teddy. Him, Teddy being great at... This sentence is insane. Okay. He often mentions us having a threesome. with Teddy, him. Teddy being great at licking. and them always doing kinky stuff together.

Now, I'm not an idiot. I know communication is important. I tried talking to him so many times, sometimes in a joking way too, so he doesn't feel attacked. Like once I asked who would he choose if he had to choose. between me and Teddy, he said Teddy. But also so many times in a serious way. I told him I didn't like when he was rubbing Teddy. on my face and body. I told him I found his relationship with him way too intense. and weird, but every time he didn't take it seriously, made jokes and never truly told me what he thought.

I should mention that he is like that. for any serious conversation. All he does is make awkward jokes. and he never tells me how he feels. He said, I love you first because he was drunk. This is becoming hard to handle. I had been away from him for two weeks. and was kind of relieved. I wouldn't see Teddy anymore. But all he did was send pictures. And whenever I asked him, what are you doing? Or what did you do today? His answer was playing with Teddy. Today he told me I was perfect, which was a surprise at first. He doesn't give a lot of compliments when he said that. I said, really? And his reply was, actually,

no, Teddy is perfect. You come way after him. - It's like, I hate you. - Get out. What? - You, what's happening? - I just gave up and didn't reply. I have three questions. One, am I overreacting? Am I the one not being tolerant enough? Am I some boring girlfriend. who can't welcome some childishness in their couple? Two, what should I do? Should I let him live his life with Teddy? Should I ask him to make a real choice? Should I ask him to just stop the sexual jokes? Like, who am I to ask such things? I don't know. Is it my place to tell him to stop being.

so weird with his teddy bear? And three, how do I get him to finally talk to me. and take me seriously? - Girl, go. - Girl. Run. - Whoa, - Girl. - I mean, huh? Teddy was red and now he's gray. I don't feel good about that. - Teddy was red and now he's gray. - Okay. Okay. Oh wow. This is a whole brand new thing. - This is silly. - This is, this is a fetish. - This is guys, this is silly - For the fact. that he's like, you're perfect. No, just kidding, Teddy. It's like,

- Okay, that one was kind of funny. - What's going on here? Like, - That was funny. Okay. There are plenty of adults. who have like a childhood teddy. - Bear or things - Like that. This took such a pivot when it got very sexual real fast. - They're also, and it - Captivating sexual, - There are also people who like, like love dressing up, but that's so, and being teddy bears or whatever, but this, this is very. different. No, this very different. This is, - I've never heard, I've never heard this. type of story before. I think him involving it in the bedroom without asking her. Oh. And it's like kind of (beep) up and it's very (beep) up.

- It's not even kind of up. - It's like, it's like extremely (beep) up. And the fact that he's not like listening. to her, that's enough for me. I, I'm like, there's a lot of reasons for you're allowed. to break up with people for any reason, but that's like, hey, you should definitely. - Do, dude, the moment that smelly teddy bear hit my. lips, that boy would be punched in the throat. I'd be like, get away from my body. Get that ratty ass teddy bear off my beautiful body. Like, what are we disgusting.

- Dude, Teddy was- - Why are we even having. this conversation? - Teddy was red and now he's gray. Teddy was red and now he's gray and Matt, and that hasn't been wash in 12 years. - Yeah. - 12. - This is me with a woody doll till I was like 24. - [Shayne] Really? - Yeah. - You wanna talk about that? - Anymore? - No, I made that up. I'm just kidding. Oh, I would love, love. They don't seem like that. - You were doing toy story three. Yeah, well, I, I, one of my, one of my secret desires. I would love like a, like a real woody doll.

I think that'd be sick. - Like life size? - No, no, no, no. Just like a one-to-one recreation of it, but like, as it is in the movie. - Oh, that's cool. - And you shall have that. - And Yeah. That's really awesome, man. Anyways, back to... - And I would (beep) him. - And I would (beep) him. - How big is his teddy bear? - I don't know. - That's a great question. - You know what I mean? - I think it's decent size. - We know... - Yeah. - If it's life size, then okay. - But this is supposed to be his, that's his teddy bear. and he's trying to make it be-. - Has she checked it for holes.

- Exactly what I was thinking. - Oh God. - Because this just a large fleshlight. I'm sorry. - Top comment. How on earth am I still single? - For real? - That's, that's great. That's great. - That's hilarious. - Someone said, seriously. What the (beep)? I've been married for a couple years. and as an average looking woman, I ran into my fair share. of weird dudes while dating. But what if I had told my girlfriends even a light version. of this dude's behavior, they would be holding an. intervention for me to get away from him asap.

- Mm-hmm. - Someone else said, so. I'm pretty sure I used to be friends. with this dude on Facebook and ended up blocking him. He had several profiles, one for Teddy. and would harass the hell outta women. Then blame it on Teddy. - Whoa. - He has a comic slash novel. or something he's working on about him and Teddy. And he makes the girls who block him. or get upset with him, the villains, they defeat. If it's the same dude, he's out of his fucking mind and you need to run. - Oh my God. - The face looks just... - Wait, are you serious? That's a (beep) turn of events.

Wait- - Like some green goblin shit. - He's like dating women for research. - He's Willem Defoe. - No, this is like, this is silly dude. - This is wrong, this is not silly. - This is silly. - This is dark as (indistinct). This guy, this guy is not crazy. He's silly. - He's silly. - Guys, this is this, this is the silliest story. - This guy is very silly. - He got too silly. - He's getting silly with it. - Please tell me there's an update. - There's an update. - Yeah. Just give it to us, bro. - Oh my God. Don't do it.

- Oh my God. - I don't know how to process any of this. About the guy who said he knew him. Fortunately it wasn't him. - Oh, good. That was some other guy. - Oh good, it's another guy. - Wait, there's another guy. with a teddy bear like doing this. - Yes. - Awesome. - So, thank you so much for your help though. I was meant to see him today. So I picked him up and we drove to my flat. (Amanda sighing). Of course, Teddy was there and when he came in the car, my boyfriend had him give me kisses and stuff. I said, "Stop, please," in a cold way. And he stopped. I said we needed to talk. And he listened because I started crying. I thought it would be hard for me to start talking.

But since I was so stressed with all your comments, I just broke down and cried. I told him how I needed him to stop with Teddy, that he needed to stop being so close and dependent on him. That Teddy shouldn't come to my flat anymore. At first he was silent, but then he said he didn't. understand why I was so uncomfortable with it, that he was purely joking. That he knew Teddy wasn't real. and that it was hurting him to see. that I thought he had a problem. I was extremely disappointed by his reaction. and just told him I needed a break. I drove him back to his flat. and that's where I am now. - And stay there. - That's some gaslighting shit.

Dude, you talked, talked about having sex with your teddy. - I was just kidding, bro. - Yeah, exactly. - I Don't what know if he's kidding. - He brings the teddy from his place. - No, that's what, that's what I mean. Like I, I'm saying-. - I. Yeah. - And he's like, (Amanda kissing). "Hi.". - Dude. Teddy was red. - And now he's gray. - And now he's Gray. - Yeah. - No, there's no, there's no backtracking. You can't, like you know. - Nope. no. - [Bailey] There's pictures of Teddy. - (Amanda gasping) Show us.

- It's just fully Freddie Fazbear. - I don't know what to think... If it's Freddy Fazbear, it all makes sense. - Oh. - He's kind of cute. - What? - Okay. I'd (beep) him. - No! - Okay, yeah. I would-. - Guys! - "Rupert.". - That's a brand new story. - New guy unlocked. - New, fully new guy unlocked. - Fully new fear unlocked for me. - I'm gonna give that a-. - As a female, that's a (beep) fear unlocked right now. - I'm gonna give it an eight or nine on the silly scale. (Amanda laughing). (Shayne laughing).

I'm gonna give it a 10. 'Cause that was damn silly. - Woo. - It had me giggling. - Bro, my (indistinct) were being kicked. (Everyone laughing). - Okay. - Any updates? - No more updates. - [Amanda] Wow. - It sounds like she's backing away. - [Spencer] Good. That just-. - [Bailey] She leaves him. - She leaves him. It's done. And every other story I've ever heard, people who are adults. who still have a teddy bear, it's always kind of wholesome. It's like, "Oh yeah, you still have your teddy bear.". - Well, I mean, I-. - But they usually have it just in bed. or like, as kind of like a decoration. in their house. - That's what I mean, like, as a kid, like my mom had a,

a teddy bear and I was like, I think even. as a kid I was like, oh, it's weird that like a, an adult would have a teddy bear. But now being like, realizing how old my mom was, like in her late twenties. - Yeah. - Like, I dunno if you've ever. dated anyone in their late twenties. Like a lot of people have a lot of stuffed animals around. - Yeah. Yeah, for sure. - Or like early thirties like not-. - Some people collect dolls, like-. - I would not think anything of someone being like, "Oh yeah, I have my teddy bear. that I'll sleep with or whatever.". I'd be like, "Yeah.". Okay, well that was, hmm.

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And I feel great for the rest of the day. So if you're interested, head. to factormeals.com/50pitreddit. and use code 50pitreddit. to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's code 50pitreddit@factormeals.com/50pitreddit. to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. while your subscription is active. Back to the show. Our next story. Am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for asking my sister. to replace my jelly beans after her son ate them?

- "Did your son eat my jelly beans?". - "Eat my jelly beans.". - My God. - So I, a 25-year-old man recently invited my family over. for dinner at my new condo. I'm really proud of this place. It took years of saving, hard work, and sacrifice. to get here. It's small but it's mine. And I wanted to celebrate with a nice family dinner. I decided to make homemade spaghetti carbonara. I spent hours on it, crisp panchetta, freshly grated Parmesan whisked with eggs. and pasta water for a perfect silky sauce. - Yum. - Carbonara is all. about timing and texture. So I was in the kitchen paying close.

attention to every step. I added garlic, bread, salad, and even made a cheesecake for dessert. It was a big effort. and I wanted the evening to feel special. - So hungry. - Now I keep a big jar of jelly beans. on my coffee table as a treat. I love picking out a few here and there. And I always save the cream soda ones for last. They're my favorite. The jar has lasted a long time. and it's something I enjoy after a long day. - Until little Joe. Rolled in. - My sister Laura, who's 35, brought her 7-year-old son, who's honestly a bit of a handful. He's not used to hearing, "No.". And thinks every space is his to do what he wants.

My sister has never set limits with him. And growing up, our parents spoiled her too. While I was busy in the kitchen, my nephew found the jellybean jar. I didn't notice at first. because I was trying to get the carbonara just right. after dinner, I went to grab a handful of jelly beans. and realized that almost all the cream soda ones were gone. - Jesus Christ. - My nephew had picked them out, leaving a mess. of crumbs and broken bits. I pulled Laura aside. and mentioned it, asking if she'd noticed. She just shrugged and said, "Oh, he only likes the cream soda ones. So he picked those out. No big deal.".

I tried to be polite, but I told her. that those were my favorites. and asked if she could replace them. - I'm picturing him having like the Patrick Bateman reaction. where he is like, where he is like sweating. and like say he's like, "The cream soda ones.". - Those were the, those were my favorites too. - "The cream soda ones.". That impressive. Yeah. - I tried to be polite, but I told her that those were my favorites. and asked if she could replace them. or at least get me some more of the cream soda flavor. She got annoyed and snapped, "He's just a kid. You're seriously this worked up over some jelly beans.". I told her it wasn't about the jelly beans, but that it would've been nice if she'd kept an eye on him.

or taught him to ask. Laurel rolled her eyes. and said, "Then don't leave temptations out. if you don't want kids touching them.". I asked her one more time to either replace the jar. or just the cream soda ones, but she refused calling me petty. and saying I was blowing things out of proportion. My parents jumped in to back her up telling me to drop it. and that I should know better than. to have temptations out around kids. But it's not just about the money, it's about respect and boundaries. I put a lot into that dinner. and her response was to let her son treat my place like his.

personal candy store. Now my family thinks I'm overreacting, but to me this is about respecting boundaries. - It's about respect. - Am I the for asshole for asking my sister. to replace the cream soda jelly beans her son ate? - Oh. - I'm so sorry. - There's no way he asked her normally, like I'd be like, like he's like, (Shayne laughing). "Now Margaret.". (Spencer and Amanda laughing). Now Margaret, you'll see there's a, a absence. of cream soda flavor jelly beans. Yeah.". - This is tricky. This is tricky. It's clear. that this kid has maybe disrespected him a lot of times.

and now he's like, "Alright, that's enough. This is my place. This is my own stuff. That's my jellybean thing.". - I, I guess, okay. - If there's a jar of jelly beans out there (indistinct). - I have nieces. I have nieces and, and a nephew. And I'm like, if I leave a jar of jelly beans on a coffee, on a coffee table-. - I'm surprised if you don't eat 'em. - I'd be kinda like, "Hey man, I left those jelly beans out.". - Yeah. - [Shayne] You didn't want 'em. - And also if she didn't want them to eat the jelly beans, she could just take it up.

and be like, all right, you, you're gonna go crazy here. But she clearly didn't give an F if he ate the. jelly beans. 'cause they're kids. - I can't help but judge this guy a little. bit by how he's writing. He's, he goes, he goes into the carbonara, which is completely unnecessary. - Irrelevant. - I mean, it sounds so good. - He's, I know, but-. - Oh, I am hungry, yeah. - He's talking himself up in this. - Yeah. - And it's like he's talking me. He is just like, it's a, I worked really hard. on this condo and I have it. I'm like, none of this matters, matters is you literally could just be like, "Hey, my family visited. and my nephew ate a bunch of my jelly beans. and I asked her to replace it and..." As well.

- There's something, yeah, there's something valid about like, you know, like, oh, like, and they went into like, if you have like a roommate, it's like, oh, and they went and ate all my blah blah blah. And that. There's like a, but it's the again, it's, it's what you said. It's the way in which he's delivered the story. It's the context that's heard it. - The way he's delivered it. The relationship is also an element. You know, a roommate taking your jelly beans is one thing we. know about roommates and beans. Okay. And that's, that's a different thing. - Mm-hmm. - But this is specifically a, if if a 7-year-old is coming over to my place.

now I, there's a lot of elements. 'Cause I think he's not talking about the. kid being the problem. - Yeah. - He's saying. he's mad at the-. - The parents and her. - He's mad at his sister. for just being like, "Whatever.". - And his parents, - I don't care. Yeah. And that's-. - There's obviously history there. - [Shayne] There's clearly history. - But this was a wrong example. This was, is the wrong fight to fight. - Yeah, yeah. - Like, dude, you got like... - I'm sorry. You let, you put the jelly beans out. - Like lets... You gotta let this one go. - I, I I agree with you Spencer. Where I'm like-. - Not you. - How did you- - Yeah. - No, no, no. Well specifically-.

- I love you. - I hate him. - I love you dude. - Spencer, hmm. - I literally hate this guy. No, but, but, but I agree. Like, how did he ask. this with a straight face? Like, "Can you replace the cream soda jelly beans?". - It sounds like he definitely did. He sounds like that type of guy. - Oh, it sounds like he did. Yeah. - I, and I'm just like, I don't know. There's a, there, there's a lot of things. that a a 7-year-old could get into where it's like, Hey, that was a problem, but you left. candy on a coffee table. and, and you're mad that the kid ate the candy. I'm like, that's kinda like... - Yeah.

It's like, well, are do you want the, do you want your sister to go to a candy store? Go to the cream- - Exactly. - Like the cream soda, the thing scoop it out, putting that in the bag, or do you want like a variety pack to pick them out of it? Like, so I'm assuming he got a variety pack. and dumped it in. Unless he went, he curated it. He went and he scooped them all and mixed them up, like-. - I think it's her pride. I think she was like, how dare you, dude? Like, I'm busy. That, that's why it was the wrong fight. Like, yeah-. - Like I'll Venmo you. - I can understand parents. and like the mom, like not, not like giving kids boundaries.

That's really annoying to be around. - It's super annoying. I I understand that. I've seen that. - Yeah. Me too. - And it pisses me off, but I'm like, that kid hasn't been given boundaries, but that's how that kid operates. - But what are the odds that, that the full grown man. and a 7-year-old both share an intense love of-. - [Both] Cream soda? - That's also, there's also the element that's really funny. that they both operate the same way. and he's like, "Oh man, you took my favorites.". - Maybe they have the same, maybe he was like. that when he was seven. - He should get like the birdie bots ones. and be like, oh, just kidding.

That's shit flavored beans. - What's, what are those? - You never had it? It's like the, it's that's the Harry Potter. - Harry Potter. - Oh, Harry Potter where it's like throw up. and like boogers? - Yeah. - See my, the way, but I don't have, my nieces. and nephew aren't like off the rails. Right? I mean, they're gonna grab candy if there's candy. - He's saying they're off watching it. - I would do the same thing. - Yeah. - I'm the same exact way when I visit my parents, they have, they have a jar of M&ms. - I'm going for it. - And I can literally not help. but just go over and grab it all the time. Like that's-. - You how many hands have been in that jar?

- I don't care. - I don't care. - Somebody was probably like, - I will lick it... I would, I would... - I don't give a (beep). - Whoa. You know, your, your dad was probably watching TV. and was like, ha ha. - My dad doesn't, my dad doesn't eat those M&ms. - Who does - Everyone else. - (Amanda laughing) Okay, then. - You think my father would eat those peanut-. You think my peanut father eats the M&ms? - Ah, Jesus. - What a silly story. - This is silly. Okay, this is funny. I can (beep), I can (beep) some cream soda now. - What? You do? - I could (beep) some cream soda-.

- You do? - ... teddy bears. - I kind of agree with this first comment, given the limits. of this subreddit, you're the asshole, but really, really, you're, you're just being petty. They're jelly beans. They aren't expensive and they make more every day. And that's the great thing. The good news is, did you know. that they more I beating them, they keep making more. (Everyone laughing). Buy some cream soda jelly beans. and hide the jar whenever nephew comes over, which probably won't be often considering you're making a. big deal about jelly beans.

Oh, congratulations on the condo though. (Amanda laughing). - Here, here comes nephew. Congratulations on your condo. and your great carbonara, dude. - Yeah. - Someone else said you wrote, I keep a big jar. of jelly beans on my coffee table as a treat. Well that is exactly what happened. Your nephew discovered them. and helped himself to a treat of the flavor he liked. I get your point, but you're being very. precious about jelly beans. I tend to agree with you regarding your nephew's behavior, but again, he didn't break or damage anything. He merely ate something which you left out as a treat.

Your response is OTT to the point of you're the asshole. - Over the top. - Over top the - Over the top. - Lastly, someone said, unless you made the pasta yourself, I can't see how you spent hours on carbonara. (Shayne laughing). - Oh my god. - I get it. - People are just roasting him. This guy just seems like there are people out there. and I, I always feel, I almost feel like a lot. of people have an aunt or an uncle like this. where it's like they're, they're just. super controlling of their space. - Yep. - And when you visit, it's like, it's like-.

- It's like a museum. Yeah. - It's true, like, it's really like, "Don't touch anything.". - Were we talking about this yesterday? No, nevermind. (beep) you. (Amanda laughing). - (beep) you too. - And I get that. I get that. But it's also like seven year olds. haven't learned that there are people like that. where they need to really, especially a family member. But yeah, I, I agree with that take of like, this is ultimately just petty and, and-. - Yeah. Yeah. - And this is extremely silly. - I love the, given the limits of this sub Reddit, that's a brilliant way-. - Given the limits of this here sub Reddit. Now given the limits, I'll declare-.

- You are the asshole, but ultimately it's just petty. - We, we do need to do a, like a southern themed episode. - Yeah, that's awesome. - [Shayne] Okay. - And I love it, but it's not this one. - Yeah, but - Update. (Amanda laughing). - He's dead. - Update. - Update. - He choked on a jellybean - Cream soda. - Okay, I'll accept my verdict. Since apparently it is normal these days to allow a child. to root through a jar of jelly beans like a dog-. - Like a truffle pig. - Like a hog looking for truffles. - Wow! - Like a, like a common boboa or a porcine creature.

- This okay, this guy is-. - He's a cartoon character. - This guy is silly as hell. - You're killing me. Like I, I'm sorry man. You're trying to say that this is crazy. Like, apparently it's normal these days to allow a child. to root through a jar of jelly beans. Yeah. That is kind of normal to me, like-. - As soon you say rooting around, like, I'm like, oh, like a, like, I'm like, what's the worst thing. someone could say and like a-. - The hog looking for truffles. Okay, I wanna be clear. This update is long. This is a, this guy is updating his post about.

how his nephew ate his jelly beans. - He was rooting around in it. - And he's actually angry. and he's actually serious here. I'm not even... I I don't care about the ride. - I live for this shit. - This is-. - This is the ideal Reddit story. - This is so good. - Okay. Just this first sentence here. - I love you man. - I'll accept my verdict since apparently it is normal. these days to allow a child. to root through a jar of jelly beans. like a hog looking for truffles. - Now did or did the child not. - What I won't accept, what I won't tolerate is the insults about my competency.

as a home chef. (Amanda blowing). - Dude, this is so good. - Gimme a (beep) break. Gimme a (beep) break. This is so good. This guy is-. - You have to read it in his accent. - This guy is so silly. Let me, let me walk you through it so you understand. why real carbonara takes time. and why cutting corners would be a disgrace. (Amanda chuckling). Okay, I gotta read this normally 'cause this is too insane. First I went to this authentic Italian... He's really, his update is about the carbonara. - It's just about the pasta. I respect him.

- Dude. He shouldn't have made it. because he clearly is building resentment as we speak. - First I went to this authentic Italian market. with shelves stacked high with imported goods. where the scent of cured meats fills the air. (Spencer laughing). - They carry, they carry real panchetta flown in weekly. And I spent ages with the owner Domenico, who handpicked the perfect wedge of Parmesano reggiano. for me, a rich, nutty block. that was almost too beautiful to grate. Next I stopped at this tiny family owned shop. that specializes in fresh farm eggs and produce.

Carla, the owner gets these eggs from a nearby farm. and each one is an intense deep golden color. Perfect for a creamy rich sauce. - This is literally Patrick Bateman talking about anything. (Amanda laughing). - Finally, I swung by a Solemaria for Semolina flour. It sounds dramatic, but that's the lengths I go. for traditional pasta. - Where does he get his, his jelly beans from? - Literally. - I have a guy, The place feels like a rustic old world bakery. with walls lined with wooden shelves.

and burlap sacks stacked high. Their semolina flour, has a texture and richness. that just doesn't compare. Ideal for handmade pasta that holds up. with the perfect aldente bite. - So, so we did make the pasta. - He did make the pasta from scratch. Back home, I crafted the pasta from scratch, flour piled on the counter eggs nestled into a well, kneading it with care until the dough was soft and elastic. A process that took a solid 15 minutes of arm work. Then I let the dough rest. before rolling it into long ribbons. Each one dusted lightly with flour like fresh snow.

Finally, I crisp the panchetta, grated the cheese by hand. and whisked the eggs to perfect consistency. The sauce had to be-. - I'm growling. - I'm hungry. The sauce had to be watched like a hawk, just enough heat. to turn it creamy without scrambling with careful additions. of pasta water to reach that glossy silk texture. - Ah. - So yes, it took hours. And I'm not ashamed to say that. - Okay. He honestly, he convinced me. - I'm hungry. - He, this dude convinced me he's not the asshole. I wanna go over to this dude's house. - I'm gonna go over to his house. I will have his carbonara.

I'm going to eat his jelly beans. - I'm gonna (beep) his couch. - Thanks so much. - I'm, I'm sorry dude. I'm gonna (beep) your couch. (everyone laughing). - Jesus. - Sorry dude. I'm gonna (beep) your teddy bear. - That's just a thing I do. - Wait, is that the (beep) update? - That's the update. - The update that was purely about the carbonarra. - Dude, that's not an update but still. - We should fully register where like Shayne. just reads his recipes and we're like-. - Literally, I'm so hungry right now, Shayne. - Me too. - Ugh. - I, I gotta be honest. Look, as, as annoying as I think this guy is,

I kind of want to go over for carbonara. - I wanna his couch. I, I wanna go meet Dominico and Carla. and I wanna go in that burlap sack. And I wanna get-. - I wanna see the the walls lined with (indistinct). - With burlap sacks. - Handmade pasta is not easy to make and, and to get it. It's, it's rare. - Have you ever seen the Jackie Chan movie where he's the, he makes the, the homemade pasta. - You know, that I have. 'Cause I've seen all Jackie Chan movies. - Yeah. That musts be nice guy. - Did you know that - You've seen every. Jackie Chan movie? - That's-. - Who Am I, one of my favorites? - Who Am I is great. - Wow. - It's a little weird tidbit about me. - He sings the theme song at the end. It's great. - Mm-hmm. - Legend of Drunken Master. - Yeah. - That one's older.

- It's been a long time. since I've seen Jackie Chan movies. You've seen all his old ones too. - Me and my little sister would watch them all. - Wow. - Who AM I. was definitely my favorite movie. - Me too. - Yeah. - This next story is insane. - That's it. It's just the carbonara is just-. - That's it. It's just he is, he's he's telling us the. process of his carbonara. And I gotta be honest, it sounds incredible. - I, I'm not questioning his chef skills. - After this I do wanna compare. like our favorite pasta places. - Okay. - Not you. - I gotta be honest-. - Not, not you, not you just us. - Fine. He does sound like a great chef. - Yeah.

- This sounds-. - I think you have to be like, that's why like, chefs are assholes. You have to be a bit like a dick. This sounds like the bear. It sounds like truly getting the, the beans. He's just like, "What did you, did you eat that? You ate the beans. You ate the beans. We got 15 orders coming in. and you're eating the (beep) beans.". (Amanda laughing). - He's just like-. - And the nephew's just like, "Cousin. what's the (beep) problem?". - "Cousin.". - "Cousin. Come on.". - "Cousin.". - "I like the cream soda ones.". - "Cousin." - A gun goes off somehow. and they're like, "What the (beep)?". (Amanda laughing). Our next story, my partner, a 28-year-old man whispered, "I hate you.".

When he thought I a 37-year-old man was asleep. Do you think he means it? - So Kiana- - This is awesome. - Kiana told me this. She told, she read me the title. of this story and I was like, that's all I need to hear. This is the funniest story I've ever heard in my life. - "I hate you.". (everyone laughing). - Can you imagine doing that. - This is so-. - I feel like a sister would do this. - This is sister behavior. - Be like, "I hate you.". And you're just like this, you're like, you're like this. And the and the tear drops outta your closed eye.

- Yeah. Literally. And then they leave. and they're like, "God, I hate you.". - Okay. - This is awesome. - Me, 37-year-old man, and my partner, 28-year-old man have been together. for seven years. (Amanda laughing). We've had arguments in the past. and almost broke up more than once. The arguments have calmed down. and gotten less frequent over the years. We had an argument today while making dinner. I put the dry pasta in the pot. before putting it in the boiling water from the kettle. And this really got him angry. I was supposed to heat up the water in the pot.

and then put the pasta in. He stopped talking to me the rest of the evening. He went into a different room. and I went to bed at about 2:00 AM He came into the room. and he thought I was sleeping and whispered, "I hate you.". And walked back out. I tried to go talk to him at around 2:30 AM. but he is not responding to me, just sitting on his iPad. He may be calmed down by tomorrow. What are your thoughts on this? - This is so (beep) crazy. - "I hate you.". - And then try get attention while they're on the iPad. Just like, "Hey, Shayne. What's up, Shayne?

"Hey. Did, did you whisper?". I hate you.". - "Hate me". Also, I'm sorry about the pasta. - That was dumb of me though. - "All right. I'm going back to bed.". - I'm gonna make some spaghetti carbonara.". - "I'm in my undies.". - I'm gonna go (beep) the teddy bear. - Oh my God. - I- - This is so silly. - I've never had an argument where my partner. like stops talking to me in this like, it's, if you're in a shared space, it's like, oh, it might not be like a text back for a little bit.

It's like, no. Like, you know, I want to like, kind. of collect myself, but like, if you're in a shared space, but again, like that doesn't look wrong. - I, I've definitely cold shouldered in a shared. space and it sucks. And I really hate when I do it. And my husband's been like, you, you really, we you can't do that anymore. And I'm like, no, you're right. No, you're right. It's wrong. But sometimes like, I really don't wanna talk to you. So now I go on walks because that's fair. And that, that feels like way healthier. Better. Yeah. Because if there's two people in a room. and you're not talking, it sucks. - Oh yeah.

- It's like, yeah. And I can't, so I don't, I am, I've gotten a lot healthier, but I've never whispered, "I hate you.". - I hate you. - Because someone sleeping. - That would be kind of funny though. - That would be so funny. - That is really funny. - [Spencer] Yeah. - Just him standing in the doorway, just, "I hate you.". It's, and then leaving. - [Spencer] It's-. - The fact that he came into the room, whispered it and then left. - It wasn't gonna be good enough for him. to just say it in another room or write it down. - I have a confession. I actually did this.

to you while you were napping earlier today. - You did? - Yeah. - I knew. I felt like a hate. - Yeah. - Like peanut butter and jelly (indistinct). - Yeah. - I woke up and felt hate. - no sugar. - I, I woke up and, and taste sugar. I. - Took a bite of my- - Yeah. - That's why I felt sick when I woke up. - Yeah. No, I didn't do that to you. Just kidding. - I know you did it. - Well, then actually, I might do that. 'Cause it's really funny. That is actually very funny. "I hate you.". - But the idea of them actually hearing it. with like film you. with like dread, like. - Oh yeah. - So awful. - No, I would turn around and be like, "(beep)". - Yeah, you'd be like-. - I you'd be that (indistinct) to me. - What did you say?

- I would not care. - This, this, this does not sound healthy. - No, no, no. Not speaking to someone because of the pasta thing. I get being upset like the whole night. - Dude, the comments. I'm pretty sure he means he hates you. - Yeah. It's an open and shut, close case. - Someone said he definitely means it. Time to exit stage left. Lastly, someone said yes, he absolutely means it. That's (beep) creepy and scary. Time to take your incorrectly cooked pasta and leave. - That's (beep) creepy and silly.

And that's extremely silly dude. - Wait. Yikes. Seven years. - Ooh. - Now that-. - Which makes me think, how often has he been. dealing with this behavior? - This is probably the least bad of it. because it sounds like their fights have like, died down. He discovered Reddit. - Like, he'll be better. he'll be better tomorrow. - No, he is posting. - Yeah. - He'll be better tomorrow. And it's like, dude, why? - The, there's age gap - There. - Dating the 20-year-old when you're 29 is is... It's interesting. It's also like, yeah, this, this 20,

they were 20 when they started dating him. and they've been dating for seven years. So this, this, the younger person, the 28-year-old has probably not like, had opportunities to date other people. - They said, I hate you. The 28-year-old. - The 28-year-old whispered that to him. - But did they say, I love you? - I don't know. - [Amanda] Maybe not. - It just doesn't sound. healthy. It sounds like it's time-. - No. - I think, I think getting so mad about the pasta. and not speaking all night. and then completely ignoring you is like, really... That sucks. - No. An argument starting over. It's like, oh, like honey, you We'll, sorry, I,

I messed I didn't start the pasta right. - It's not about the pasta. - Yeah, it's exactly. It's not about the pasta. It's about hate. Pure hate. - Yeah. This is pure hatred. - What did the pasta taste like? No sugar. - I bet they didn't- - Carbonara? - ... eat it. I bet they didn't eat it. - Well, I love how pasta has come up twice now. Are these silly stories or pasta stories? - It's a thing. - I can't think of a silly story. - Pasta's supposed to bring people together, but it sounds like it's just pulling people apart. - Spaghetti is the silliest food. - It's my favorite food. Did you know that? Spaghetti and meatballs. - Well, you're you're very silly. - And I'm super silly. What's yours? Lasagna?

Flat and lazy. I'm just kidding. - Damn. - [Amanda] She eats. - Come on, come on. It was just fun. This is fun. Come on. Come on. - Is it lasagna because you're fat, flat, and lazy. - I said I'm lazy. I said flat. - No, mine's actually a bow tie because I'm... No, it's angel air. - Your bow tie because your gentleman. - Yeah. - Okay. - There's no update on that one. - No, they both died. - Update. They're dead.

That was recent. - So that happened. - So he's still in his bed. Just like-. - I hate you. - Yeah. I I wanna know more about. the delivery of I hate you. - Same. - Yeah. - Okay. Last story. Am I the asshole for not believing my boyfriend. that suddenly became gay due to the altitude difference. when he was on a work trip in Utah? - A confession. - You're gay. - This happened to Alex Simon. We went to JenCon. No. (everyone laughing).

I was just, I made, I already made that joke. 'cause I think I was sitting in front of them in, in the, in the bullpen when they found this story. and it spread like it was an infectious-. - So I, I think I, Did I find the story and send it to you guys? - I think you might have. - I I think... So I discovered this story. and by the title alone, I was like, - This is the funniest shit I've ever heard. - We gotta read this. This is (beep) awesome. - Altitude. - Yes. That the altitude made him, he suddenly became gay. because of the altitude. - In Utah.

- In Utah. - It's a work thing in Utah. - It's high altitude. - No, I get it. Altitude changes everything. - Yeah. Water boils at a different temperature. - Does it? - This is like me with a, when it's a full moon. - Yeah. - I become gay. - I turned gay. - I, I I am become gay. I can hardly believe that I'm writing this. or that it happened, but I am. And it did. So here we go. I, a 28-year-old woman have been with my boyfriend, a 29-year-old man for three years. Every now and then he has to go to Utah for a few days.

because his team has a customer service branch. that operates out there. I got a text from one of his coworkers. who has become a friend of ours. And it said that on the trip my boyfriend cheated on me. with some guy on the customer care team. I did not believe it at first. because first of all, my boyfriend has always. identified as straight. And second of all, I just couldn't believe it. When he got home, I asked him about it, basically expecting him to confirm it was nonsense. Instead he got real quiet and had us sit down. and said he had to tell me something. He said it was true.

He did have a one night stand with a guy. I couldn't believe it. I asked him if he was telling me he. was gay or bisexual. And regardless, cheating is cheating. He insisted he was not gay at all. But the strangest thing happened. He said that when he was at dinner with his Utah coworkers, he suddenly became gay. I was like, what? What the (beep)? He said he thinks it was due to the altitude. - Yeah. - I was like, you're (beep) with me. Right. But he said after he had done it with this guy, he got really confused as to how all of a sudden he was gay. He said that higher altitudes can have an impact on.

how people think and on their emotions. And he thinks that the high altitude made him. gay temporarily. He said that as soon as he landed back home, he was back to being straight. I was like, did he get drugged or something? But he said that was not possible. They were always in a group at dinner, which is when he became gay. and was only alone with the guy afterwards. He said he had done a lot. of thinking on the drive back from the airport. and he confirmed within. himself that he's, it's a 10 minute drive. Yep. I'm straight. And that his only conclusion could be.

that he was temporarily turned gay due to the altitude. I was like, whatever, I guess we are breaking up. He looked at me confused. I was like, gay or not, you did cheat on me. He said it wasn't his fault. And that human actions are just a byproduct. of accidental brain chemistry. And that his chemistry had been altered through no fault. of his own due to the higher altitudes of Utah. He said he couldn't believe, I would blame him. for something medical and scientific. that was out of his control.

He really looked bewildered that I was angry about this. I don't know. Maybe he's convincing. And I'm a rube, which is a, a country term. A country bumpkin is what-. - A rube. - Yeah. But I am starting to wonder if I am overreacting, like I know it sounds insane, but is it possible. to accidentally change your sexual orientation due. to emotional changes brought on by altitude? Is that possible? And if it is, am I overreacting? Should I throw away a three-year relationship for this? He's acting like I'm being rude and weird. I'm confused.

- That sounds legit. Like of course. - Like have you never been, have you never been like an on, - Have you ever never been to Utah? - Like an airplane? - Have you never been up? - When you're on an airplane. - Well, everyone's gay on an airplane. - Yeah. - Yes. And also like, you know, how dare she. - Yeah. - Chemical makeup. And also it's like you just do things. You just do things when you're at dinner. When you're at dinner and you look at him. and you just go, yeah, you and me. - Yeah. - It's altitude. - And... - Guys, maybe it was the fries that they were eating.

- Yeah. No. Literally the altitude changes food, like... - I believe him. - I believe him. - Everyone at a certain altitude is gay. We're at-. - We don't know. We're at sea level. I'm straight here. - Yeah. - We don't know. But you know, it sounds plausible. - Yeah. No. Once you get up to the-. - Rocky Mountain High. - Yeah. - (indistinct). - Even helicopters for me, like I become gay. and they're not going that high. - (beep) Christ. - I jump, I I jump extra high. Like if I'm dunking. - You've never dunked in your life.

- Whenever I'm dunking then I'm gay. - When have you dunked in your life. - Well, I had to stop because I became gay. (Shayne laughing). - I just love-. - How do you think I hurt my neck. - I knew it because-. - Because, because of gay. - Gay. - Sorry. - Sorry. We're sorry. - Sorry. - We're being silly. - But I believe-. - We're being silly. - But come on. - I, I, I, I think she, I think everyone's really wrapped up on this, the aspect. of the altitude turning him gay. She's right. He, he cheated. It doesn't matter.

And he's trying to play it all also. as if he should be able to get away with that. - He also is gaslighting her at the same time. - Yeah. No. - He's like, how dare you, like two people when they come together and it's like, okay. Yeah. I kind of get that. You still stupid. - He's trying to say the altitude made him cheat too, because he is like, oh, the brain chemistry, it's all a byproduct or whatever. It's like, - So wait a second. Has he been flirting with this guy? 'Cause they work together. All of a sudden at dinner, you know? - Well, no, they were at a lower altitude. - Oh, you're so right.

- No, this is, this is just clearly no dude. This guy cheated on her so many times. - So many times. And he is like, he, he was sitting in the car like, how do I come up. with this excuse? - [Shayne] The altitude. - Altitude. - But no, there's, I, I would be dying. to know if there's any, been any other instance. of someone claiming a gay incident because of altitude. - I don't think you become gay. because you are high up on altitude. I think he probably just like liked the guy and was into it.

I mean-. - Oh, I should hope so. Sorry. Really? He was on. - A work. He was on a work trip and cheated on her, a thing so many people teach him to do. Yeah. A guy or girl, whatever. He still cheated. - And he is trying to play it off. He's coming up with an insane excuse. - Please tell me there's an update. - The verdict is not the asshole. - Forget who, the guy? - I forgot what the point of view is there for a second. I was like, like what? - Wait, the guy's not the asshole? - No. comments. Been to Utah a ton. Haven't felt the slightest change in sexuality.

You realize that he's feeding you a crock of shit, right. Okay. Just wanted to be sure everyone was on the same page. now to deal with the aliens. and their brainwaves beamed into my eyeballs. Someone else said even if it were possible, and it's not, he's telling you that he can't help. but cheat on you because human actions are just a byproduct. of accidental brain chemistry. Even if not into dudes anymore. There's plenty of girls he can cheat with. because by his own admission, he can't control himself when he's attracted. to someone, not the asshole. Lastly, someone said by that logic, anyone flying in a plane becomes gay.

for the duration of the flight. - That's what I said. - And you became gay though. - Yeah. - So I guess you're the one example. - Yeah. - Okay. We have a sort of update. It's in the comments. O op posted a big update in the comments. Someone commented, temporary altitude, gayness happens all the time. - Tag. - OP responded. I don't know. I have read a lot of comments, almost all of them. And it turns out there is in general a consensus.

that it is not true. I knew it the entire time in my head. I just let my heart give me doubts. I know I sound absurd in my post questioning if. it was really possible. Yet I couldn't bring myself to accept it. Now I do. I met my boyfriend just this afternoon. He acted like nothing was abnormal. I told him it was over. He acted like I thought he was joking. I said, come on. He cheated on me. He said he couldn't believe I. was blaming him for it. It was the altitude. He kept saying it like, seriously? He said it like 15 times in a row. He was insistent. I told him it didn't matter if the altitude made him gay.

He still had a choice to not cheat on me. He accused me of being a bigot. I said, it's over. - Oh. - I left. - Whoa. - That's a, that's a good pivot. - He has-. - Whoa. - Smart move there man. - Yeah. - He has texted me many times claiming. that he was only temporarily. and unwillingly gay due to the altitude. He is sticking to this story and to the, to the end. Well, I'm going to block him. and that's that. - I was. - Unwillingly gay. - Is anyone else getting frustrated with the fact. that he keeps bringing up the gay part? And that's not what she's talking about.

- She's talking about that you. cheated and he's like, he you. cheated. He's like, you're a bigot. - She's like, no, you cheated on me. - You, you cheated on me. He's like, I can't help. The altitude made me gay. It's like, I don't care about that. He's trying to absolve himself of guilt, I think. Yeah. And, and keep the focus on the whole gay aspect of it. as opposed to the cheating aspect. - I think both are like, but I, I think like he, he clearly like has something. - I mean - Yeah. And it's just like, and that's out of our pay grade. - I think he's trying to I That's right. I think. - It's about the scope of the subreddit. - That's right. - I don't think he's focused on the.

cheating part because I think he's trying. to convince himself. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think he's clearly saying it out loud. to convince himself of a thing. That's what he cares about. She doesn't give a shit. She's like, I'm mad you cheated on me. But, and then he keeps bringing it. back to, well, I'm not gay. She's like, okay. Say. - I didn't, I didn't say you. - That's, I'm okay. We did. Got it. Wow. That was silly. - Whoa, so silly. - Those are some silly ones. - Looks like everyone's gonna be going to Utah.

You know what I'm saying? - Yeah. Man. All of m will go. to Utah and we're all gonna become straight. - Whoa. Yeah. Pretty much. Pretty much. - Like, I'm Angela. (Shayne laughing). Sorry. - That's (beep) crazy. Oh my God. - Yeah. It's true. - Wow. I don't know-.

- I feel like I've been rude to the crew the whole time. 'Cause I haven't been looking at them. But it's just, just no, like they feel bad. - No. They-. - If we made you laugh a little. - They don't care. They don't care. - I heard someone laugh behind me. - This has been extremely silly. - This has been... Yes. - This has been so silly. - I don't know what was silliest from whispering. I hate you in the middle of the night. - That was really funny. - To jelly beans, to teddy bears. that people (beep). - That wasn't silly. That was frightening. - IIII, let me be clear. All of these stories were silly, but they were all also very serious.

- Very serious. I, so the last time I was on Reddit stories, I think I tried. to do the bit where you like combine all the stories. and Angela was like, oh, you're doing that? And I was like, well, I, I think it's funny, but I'm like, I feel like if you were. to combine these stories, you would have the most awesome story of all time. - Yeah. - That might actually be true. - That'd be a horror anthology. - Yeah. Yeah. Like I, I I would like to like, this is part. of an extended universe, this crazy place we call earth. - Yeah. - No, I agree. I think the teddy guy would, his first thing would be the Utah thing,

and then he would get into a relationship. - Yeah. - And he'd have the partner that says, I hate you. - Yeah. - And then he would break up with that partner. and his new partner would be the jellybean guy. - Yeah. Imagine. Imagine him in the middle. of the night hearing Teddy go, "I hate you.". - Yeah. - That is my nightmare. This is why I don't have dolls, because they come alive at night. - Yeah. Do you and Shayne. have like a shared fear of dolls? - I hate dolls. - Yeah. Him and I both hate dolls. - Oh, interesting. - I don't like them at all, because-. - That's really, you really hate that one sable part. - Oh. - Yeah. There's a doll part. Okay. Sorry.

- Wait. I know. I saw. - No, it's a different one. - The preview. - Oh, okay. - Anyways, yeah. So don't get us dolls if. you're thinking about it. Spencer. - Okay. (whimsical music). This was silly question mark. Thank you guys for both being here and, and joining me for this journey. And thank you for, for watching. There was a lot to process here. I'll gather my thoughts on them over the next two years. (everyone laughing).

Comment down below what other themes. and sub Reddits you wanna see. because "Silly" was a crazy one. - Silly. - So I can only imagine. what other kinds we're gonna have. And we will see you next week. Bye. - Bye. - Bye. (whimsical music).