2023's Worst Person | Reading Reddit Stories

(Shayne blows noisemaker). - Wow. It's almost the new year. And we're gonna spend this episode reflecting. on some of the biggest jerks from this past year. by reading some wild Reddit stories. And today I'm joined by two very special guests, Arasha and Anthony. - You think we're special? - I feel special. - Oh. - Oh. - Oh, not anymore. - Oh no. Oh no, we can't wear the hats anymore. (Shayne laughs). - Damn. - Oh no. - When we walked in here, Arasha was like, "Oh, there's hats. Oh.".

- Arasha's like, "Am I the asshole? "I made the hats purposely fall off.". (everyone laughs). - Am I the asshole for not wearing a stupid hat? - For a video I was cast to be in? (everyone laughs). - Yeah. So anyways... (everyone laughs). - I knew it! I knew no one was for it. - All of these stories today are from 2023, and there's some wild ones. These are some of the biggest jerks from this year. Yeah, how was your guys' year?

How was your 2023? - Oh my god. - I mean, Anthony, I feel like we know. - I had my whole year out on display, I feel like. This year's been crazy. Yeah, for obvious reasons. - [Shayne] It has been crazy. - I would agree. This year I feel like it's been the biggest year. for a lot of people. I feel like it was a real relaunch for everybody. Like, it's been almost three full years now since lockdown, so I feel like it was a huge time jump. Have you guys seen that thing. where psychologists are calling it like the pandemic skip?

Where like you're still the age that you were. when the pandemic happened? So it's really jarring for people who are like 18, but they were like 14 or 15 when the pandemic started, and they're like, "I don't feel like an adult.". - Yeah, and they didn't even get to go. to real graduations and things like that. during that time. - Oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah. - I feel so bad for 'em. Yeah. - I feel like this was the first year. that like things kind of started settling. back to somewhat normal. - [Shayne] Yeah. - And that was a little unsettling. But in a lot of ways it was really great.

'cause people could be out there again. and doing their thing. - I feel like this is the first year that I grew. I feel like from 2020 to 2022, I feel like I was just completely stagnant. - Interesting. - [Arasha] Feel that. - I can kind of relate to that. Yeah. It was a wild year, so I'm curious how these stories are gonna be. I'm curious what this year was like for so many others. - Yeah. - We're about to find out. Well, let's just hop right into these stories. Our first one comes from r/RelationshipAdvice. This is a 26-year-old man.

"I found her," a 28-year-old woman. "I found her TikTok after we went on a date.". Okay. Interesting. - Found. Whoops, I found this. - Yeah, right? - Oh, I found your TikTok by accident. "This is honestly not something I expected to post about, "but here's the thing. "I have known this woman who's 28 for a while. "since we are in the same friend groups. "She's a nice person, attractive, "and honestly I've always enjoyed my talks with her. "A few weeks ago, I asked her out on a date.

"I figured if she says no, it's fine. "But she actually agreed. "We went on a date this past Saturday, "and honestly I thought it was awesome. "We went out to dinner, had drinks, "spent the rest of the night talking, "and we even took a walk on a walking bridge. "over the town's lake. "It's not a big one. "I dropped her off and was elated. "I absolutely loved the night. "However, that night when I was scrolling through TikTok. "on my bed, a post from her, "I didn't follow nor knew she had a TikTok, "appeared on my for you page. "Essentially she said in the post,

"'Getting ready for a date I really don't want to go to.'. "That was like a bucket of ice water being thrown. "on my head. "I was so freaking happy. "And I just found out she didn't want to go. "on a date with me. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying she has to want it, "but please let me know if that's the case. "We don't need to go out. "We can forget I even asked her out. "But doing this on the internet, it made me self-conscious. "Not sure if that's the right word. "Now I'm unsure about what to do.

"Should I tell her I saw this or just forget about it? "Honestly, it really hurt me, "and I'm not really sure I want to give this another try. "I mean, she didn't want to go out with me. "in the first place, right?". Damn. - That's really sad. - [Shayne] That's super sad. - Yeah. So I mean, I was making a joke. that he accidentally found her TikTok, but it sounds like he really was not trying to find it. - Yeah, he stumbled upon that. - For you pages are weird, and I mean they, yeah. - They like know your circle or who you're interacting with. - [Shayne] They absolutely know.

- Where's the asshole? Is he asking if he's the asshole. for asking her out in the first place? - So this is Relationship Advice. So he's actually not asking. He's just saying a situation. He's asking for advice on what to do. Should he confront her or should he let it go? I do think there is obviously an asshole. I think she's totally an asshole for doing that. - Yeah. - That to me is insane. Unless we're missing a bunch of context. and he's really creepy and-. - Or she felt threatened, like she had to say yes. - Or she felt pressured. But I'm not getting that sense based on this.

That would have to be a complete flip. from the information we have. I think a get ready with me while I go on a date. that I don't want to go on, knowing that that person could potentially see that. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that's definitely tough, I think. I mean, I think the important thing. is we are missing a lot of context, right? 'Cause the thing with social media is, you know, she could have just been putting that out there. as like a hook. She's like, "Oh, I really want people to watch my TikTok.

"People will watch it. "if I talk about a date I don't wanna go on. "That's interesting, that's drama.". - We don't know what kind of content she makes. - Totally. - It could be a joke. because she's already getting ready. - Yeah. And truly the only way to figure that out. would be to communicate. So my best advice to this guy would be, yeah, just bring it up. I don't think it's like, "I saw your TikTok.". But I think it's like, "Hey, I saw this TikTok. "I was super psyched about our date. "I thought that you felt the same way, "but this suggests otherwise. "Like, I wasn't digging around, "but I just came across this.

"Do you have anything to share about it?". And I feel like she can also step up, and she can decide if the date did go well. and she's super embarrassed, she can be like, "That's so my bad. "You're right. "Like, I was just nervous," as people do get on first dates. - [Shayne] Yeah. - You kind of don't wanna go on any first date. 'cause you're like, dates are tough and hard. - Circling back, you know, he said, "I have known this woman for a while. "since we are in the same friend groups.". Someone that he knew and knows her could have seen it, you know? - Yeah.

- It's entirely possible. If I saw that, if I had a friend who was going on a date. and I saw their date post that, I would probably let my friend know. I'd be like, "Hey, is this a joke? "What is this?" - Yeah. - Not cool. - That's kind of rude. He's probably gonna see that. - It's super rude. My hope is that maybe he didn't see the date. Maybe it's something she had posted a while ago. - [Arasha] Right. - I do agree, it's something you could post as a joke. or trying to get engagement. if you're trying to get followers. You know, I don't know.

But I think if I were him, I know unfortunately if I was in his position, I probably wouldn't say anything. - I was gonna say the same thing. I was like, I think I would give the same advice as you, but I think if I were him, I would not say anything. - [Arasha] Oh. - I'd probably just kind of be like, "All right, I'm gonna hold off. "And if she wants to go on a second date. "and says something, cool. "Otherwise I'm just gonna probably not say anything. "and see if she even...". If I think she's not interested, then I would be like, "I'll just back off.". - What if like the second date, like she initiates it,

it goes super well, like does anything get brought up? - Then I would go, "Okay.". - I would probably bring it up in that instance and say, "I thought you didn't want to go on this. "'cause I saw your TikTok.". - Yeah? - Yeah. I would then bring it up on the second date. 'cause I would believe if she initiated a second date, I would then be like, "Okay, she actually is interested. "And maybe that's a joke. "Maybe it's just, maybe I misunderstood.". - That is totally fair. 'Cause again, I feel like you think about the protocol. after a first date, and it's usually just like trying.

to pick up on any clues if both of you want a second date. And I think if you pick that clue up, it's kind of like, "Okay, I'm just gonna back off.". - Yeah. - But I only really suggested that. because it does seem like he's pretty giddy about her. And like, I've been there. I feel like it sucks when you're on a first date. that you feel like you're vibing with. and you thought that they were vibing, and then you're like, "Wait, what? "You weren't?". - I think that's the right advice. And while I still wouldn't take it,

while I wouldn't take that advice myself, I do see how that would be better if I were to do that. because otherwise I am gonna perpetually. be thinking about that. - [Arasha] Oh yeah. - Every time I see her, I'm just not gonna be able to stop thinking about that. I'm gonna be like, "It's not that big of a deal.". In my head, I'd be like, "It's not that big of a deal though.". And then I'd be talking to myself and be like, "You shouldn't really be worrying about this. "It's not that big.". And then I would just be constant, this loop in my head. - I wouldn't be able to be comfortable on a date. until I talked about it. I would have to. But I would try to bring it up very lightly. Just like, "Okay, hold on. "I was on TikTok.

"I think my for you page served it to me, "'cause, you know, it's weird. "And yeah, I saw that, but I don't know. "If you don't wanna be on a date, it's fine.". - Right, just being like chill, smooth about it. - What about this? What if you ended up in the same group again, you know? 'Cause it said part of the same friend group. If you ended up side by side with her... - Yeah. - Do you just let it slide or do you-. - Or just pull up her TikTok next to you. - You're just watching it. - Just like, "Check this TikTok out.". - I'm a big fan. I've been watching it since the day.

that we first went on a day. - Oh. - Yeah. - Yeah. 'Cause you could definitely be sneaky about it too. You could post your own TikTok, watching a TikTok of a girl. who talked about not wanting to go on this date with me. - Getting ready for a date that I'm so (beep) excited for. (Arasha laughs). I don't... I mean, obviously like so much of my life. is on the internet, but I don't understand people who share to that degree. - [Anthony] Yeah. - I don't understand it. Like, it's that meme of like people posting stuff. and people respond being like,

"Batman couldn't get this information out of me.". But it's like, people just straight up put it out there, and I'm like, wow, you're saying. to the internet you're about to go. on a date you don't want to go on. - That's true. That does say a lot about you as well. if you are agreeing to dates that you don't want. - I think it would be a red flag for me. even if I found out, oh, that wasn't for my date. I think I would still view that as a red flag. because I'd be like, "Oh, that's a little disrespectful and weird.". - Yeah, I think, you know, that's an interesting topic. that I feel like I've been discussing. with a lot of my friends in general.

Like, how much of yourself. should you put out there publicly? Like, especially, you know, for all of us, like we're internet personalities. How much of our truth are we wanting to share? And what maybe is best to keep like within a friend group? Like, maybe personal stuff that could hurt other people, maybe that shouldn't go public. But I personally don't see any problem with being like, "Get ready with me to go on a date.". Like, if you wanna talk about you being out there. in the dating world, totally fair. But I think the line of when it could hurt somebody.

and when you're maybe being a little naive. about how widespread this TikTok could really go, like that is asshole behavior. - [Shayne] Yeah. - I'd definitely say less is more. in terms of giving out private information as content. I had periods of time where I daily vlogged. every single moment in my life, every single moment of my relationship. I literally vlogged me getting engaged, and obviously that didn't work out. This is many years ago. But not worth putting it out there.

just 'cause I think I was in the mindset of like, "Gotta get content out. Gotta get content out.". And I think a lot of people get into that head space. And less is more. - Let's see the comments here. "I'd comment on the post and ask if the date went well.". Bold move. That's a bold move. I like that. - Whoa. - Someone said, "I would message her and simply say, "'Hey, your TikTok about getting ready. "'for a date popped up on my feed. "'I'm sorry you didn't want to go. "'You could've simply told me and that would've been fine.'.

"If she messages back trying to explain. "or still expresses interest in you, simply turn her down. "No further explanation required. "People don't change behaviors. "if they aren't made aware that it affects other people.". Someone else said, "As an introvert with some social anxiety, "I don't think I've ever wanted to go on a first date. "Even if I really liked the guy. "and wanted to go to the location, "my mind would always convince me I was going to be unhappy. "Luckily most of my first dates had been fine or great, "sprinkle in a few duds. "As an older woman, "I don't understand this need to post everything.

"that goes on in your life or in your mind. "Sometimes it's nice just letting passing thoughts pass. "But I also understand younger people grew up immersed. "in social media, and this is normal to them. "This person has made it clear. "that she's going to post things publicly. "that you may think should be private. "That alone may drive you. "to decline any future dates with her. "And if so, just let her know you saw her TikTok. "and aren't comfortable. "with your dates being the subject of her videos. "Be forewarned, she may post about it. "If you choose to see her again, "I think it's worth having an honest conversation.

"and setting your boundary. "around what you aren't comfortable with her posting.". Yeah, I think... Frankly, my favorite out of those is just posting. and saying how the date went. I think that's like-. - Just being snarky back. - It's simple and it's like he gets it done. - Yeah. And it's kind of like charming. - I think it's kinda light where, 'cause also the reality here. is that they're in similar friend groups. They're gonna end up hanging out again. - [Anthony] Yeah. - And so you don't wanna make it super awkward. - [Arasha] Yeah.

- It's one date. You can just still kinda like let it go. without making it tense between the two of you. - Right. - That is so tricky. I honestly can't say what I would do. because I don't know how often they interact. - [Shayne] Right. - Yeah. I think other people pointed out something really great, which is yeah, like how she's going to continue to act. in the relationship. 'Cause right, like if they have that conversation. and it does go south, her next TikTok, like, that guy saw my TikTok. Like, that's really good clickbait. Like, everybody would definitely watch that video.

So if she is more focused on her image online. and trying to get followers, get views, and stuff like that, it's probably best for him to bow out now. - [Shayne] Absolutely. - Damn. (Shayne blows noisemaker). - Update. - Oh! (Shayne laughs). - So dumb. (Anthony laughs). So let's see what happens. "Hello, everyone. "Some people have reached out to me through comments. "or chat asking for an update on the situation. "Sadly, there isn't much to share at the moment, "but I'll provide what I can. "Please keep in mind.

"that I won't be discussing this further, "nor will I reply to comments. "Thank you for your understanding. "After last week's post, I read almost every comment, "or at least most of them. "I'm thankful to all those who commented. "and shared a bit of their own personal story. "Some people mentioned that anxiety is normal. "and feeling like not going out is definitely common, "suggesting that I shouldn't look too much into it. "While I agree with their perspective. "and see no fault in not feeling like going out, "what bothered me the most in this situation. "was having to post a TikTok for a significant audience.

"I'm a private person by nature, "and even my social media accounts. "like Instagram have only a single post. "I don't really like to overtly share, "nor do I wanna be with someone who does. "It's completely fine to share whatever you want. "I just don't wanna be part of it. "So I decided not to contact her. "I chose to pretend I had never seen the post. "and let things be. "I understand a lot of people might think. "this isn't the best choice, "but I feel it's the best course for both of us. "Last Thursday, a few friends. "who also happen to know her invited me for drinks. "We went to a bar,

"and while we were eating and enjoying our drinks, "a mutual friend asked me how my date went, "as our circle was aware that we were going on a date. "I didn't wanna say much, so I just replied, "'Oh, it was good. "'But I don't think we clicked.'. "This friend followed it by saying, 'We figured,'. "which made me feel rather uneasy. "When I asked what he was talking about, "he hesitated but eventually said. "that they had seen a TikTok post from her. "about not wanting to go out. "At this point, I didn't really know what to say. "This situation is just incredibly messy for me, "but there's not much I can do about it.

"Still I wasn't going to mention it, "nor did I try to look up if there was any update. "on her part. "In fact, I deleted TikTok after that incident. "It just wasn't doing me any good. "Nevertheless, this past Saturday, she sent me a text. "She mentioned that she enjoyed our date. "and asked if I wanted to go out again. "I understand that she clearly stated. "that she enjoyed our time together. "However, I don't want to be with someone. "who exposes so much of their personal life. "It's not something that would be good for me. "So I decided to tell her the truth. "and sent a text explaining. "that while I absolutely enjoyed our date, her company,

"and that I thought she was an amazing woman, "her post from the night of our date. "came across my for you page on TikTok. "and it made me feel really self-conscious. "While I understand that she enjoyed the date, "contrary to what she felt at the time of the post, "I didn't feel comfortable going out with someone. "who had such a high level of exposure online. "I wished her the best. "and expressed hope that she finds someone. "whose lifestyle aligns with her. "She has read the message and left me on read ever since. "I don't think she will reply, "and I don't think we'll have a lot. "of social interactions going forward. "I'm sorry if that this wasn't the update.

"you guys were expecting, "but yeah, sadly that's what the situation became. "Anyhow, wish everyone a good day.". - [Arasha] Wow. - That's curious. I gotta be honest, I'm a little surprised she did ask him out again. - [Anthony] Yeah. - It has me leaning towards the thought. that maybe it was a social anxiety thing of like, "Oh, I don't want to go on a date. "Like, oh god.". - [Anthony] Yeah. - I would have to see this TikTok, you know? - Right. - But I also think he made the right choice. because it just sounds like he's recognizing.

we're just such different people. And that's a fair thing to do. - Oh, yeah. No, he's a king. I think he was so calm, and he wasn't like, he wasn't attacking of her in any way. Like, he was like, "That's your life. "Like, this is how it made me feel. "But also, I just don't think. "that this is gonna work out because of that.". And I think it says a lot that she didn't respond. Like, I think usually when you, in a lot of cases, like not responding to somebody putting their feelings.

out there, I think it's really immature. - [Shayne] Oh, absolutely. - Like, he was being just so honest, and again, like he said that he wishes her the best. and things like that. Like, I would think that she just got embarrassed. and was like, "Oh god, I gotta go.". And again, another sign. that that relationship wouldn't work out. Had she maybe responded and been like, "I'm so embarrassed. "This is why I did that,". or like, "I shouldn't have done that. "I'm sorry. "I made a mistake,". like I'm sure he would've been like, "Totally fine. "Let's do that second date.".

- I also feel it's poignant to bring up again, and, you know, it's not usually fair, but, you know, she's 28 years old. It's like, dude, by 28 you should be able. to withstand a conversation that makes you uncomfortable. - [Arasha] Yeah. - You should be able to respond. Like, I understand when people are like teenagers. and you're in your early 20s, you're still like gaining your confidence, you're still figuring out how to interact. with certain situations. But by 26, 28, like, come on, you can show some respect. - And leaving on read too?

- That's crazy behavior. - Come on. That is so high school. - It's disrespectful at any age, but the older you get, the more I'm just kind of like, you didn't learn it by now? You know, like at a certain point you figure it out. - I think it takes a lot of courage to have boundaries. and to express those boundaries, and at the same time be respectful in those. And he really was firm. He said, "I don't think this is gonna work.". And he was so communicative about it. I think she was embarrassed. and then that's why she didn't respond. - Right. And for him to have like put on such a good date.

for her to like completely 180. He sounds like a great guy. - Absolutely. And, you know, bravo to him for, he saw the red flags that were red flags to him, and he said, "I'm calling it here.". And I respect that. - King. - Yeah. King. - King. - King. - All right, moving on. This next one is an Am I The Asshole post. - Now you can fire out. - Now I can figure out who's the asshole. - We'll determine this time. - Oh my god.

(Anthony laughs). - What? - It's not, eh. - [Anthony] Okay. - Oh no. Don't read ahead. - "Am I the asshole for showing up at my ex's wedding. "in a pretty dress?". (Shayne sighs). You know this is-. - No, you are not. (everyone laughs). - It's funny because you know. that their interpretation was that, "I just showed up to the wedding in a pretty dress. "That was it.". The fact that you know there's more to it. It wasn't just that. - Oh, there's absolutely more. But just from that, you're not an asshole. You did good, girly. - "My ex and I had a peaceful divorce.

"We co-parent our three children together, "and there haven't really been many issues. "My ex is getting married to Stephanie. "I like Stephanie. "She has been great with my kids and makes my ex happy. "My ex invited me to their wedding, and I was happy for him. "It was my day with the kids, "so it made sense for me to come. "That was his reasoning. "When I arrived at the wedding, "Stephanie thanked me for dropping the kids off. "and brushed me off. "We had never had any issues before. "I explained that I was going to stay for the reception, "and she was very upset.

"I was confused. "because I assumed she knew I would be in attendance. "It turned out she didn't consider. "that I would actually accept the invitation. "I told her that I was invited. "and since I took the two hour drive, "I would be staying for the entire duration. "She didn't like this response. "Stephanie asked me to leave, and I stood my ground. "She went on to complain about my dress upstaging hers. "My ex and former mother-in-law helped her to calm down, "and the wedding shortly began. "I thought that that was the end of it. "But later in private, Stephanie accused me of trying.

"to ruin her special day. "She's convinced that I wanted to show off. "and make the wedding about my divorce. "She said it was rude for me to not leave. "after the bride requested it. "because it was her special day. "I told her that I'm not responsible for her insecurities. "and once again reminded her that I have no interest. "in stealing my ex back.". Okay. We have the dress. - Oh, there's the dress in question. - Thank God. - I want you to open your eyes. - Okay. - Gorgeous! - Yeah, it is a great dress. - [Anthony] It is nice.

- Oh my god. - Product name via Amazon, "Women's sweetheart, full lace, "beach wedding dress, mermaid bridal gown.". - Oh, it says bridal gown in the description. - She did get a wedding dress. It's red, but it is a wedding dress. - But you could also wear it to the beach. - But it's a lace beach wedding dress. Mermaid bridal gown. - Mermaid. Mermaid. - I don't know. I feel like they just put a bunch of keywords in the topic. It's hard to know if it was-. - Right, right. - I gotta be honest, this is my thinking,

like if I were, and it's different I guess, but sort of I'm like, if I was going to an ex's wedding, I'm not trying to fucking stand out. - Yeah. - I am trying to wear, I'm trying to like... - This is I'm standing out. - Be there and just kind of like, "Hey, I'm here.". - Send me the link. (everyone laughs). I feel like I would be, I would wanna be a little petty to my ex's wedding.

But also I would never go to my ex's wedding. - Yeah. No, I would not. - You admit that it would be kind of petty to go. - It would be petty. - Well, also this, if they sent her an invite, she's allowed to accept. Whenever people go, "Oh, I wasn't expecting you to accept the invitation-". - Don't send the invite! - That's some bullshit. - Sorry I didn't read your mind when it came in the mail. - Assume they're gonna say yes, especially a wedding. where it's like this weird pressure of like, well, if I say no, then is that more of, what's more disrespectful to be there or not? - If she talked to her ex-husband about it too,

maybe he is the asshole. for not passing the information to his bride. - That's true. - She should definitely not have been like, "Wait, what you're staying?". Like, I feel like some precursor. could have definitely saved a lot of time. But I definitely think she's valid. Like, yes, they share children, she got an invitation, she drove two hours. That makes sense. - I have no issue with her. I think her being there is, she was invited. And yes, they have kids and she's there for the kids. So I think Stephanie's weird for saying,

"I wasn't expecting you to accept the invitation.". Now, the dress. - The dress of choice was bold. - The dress feels... - It's a statement. It's a petty kinda-. - I think there was a choice that was made here. - [Anthony] Yeah. - I mean, it is a wedding dress. It's just not white. If it's white, that is blatant. - Okay, yeah, no. White, she's an asshole. - But it's also a wedding dress. When you're going to a wedding of any sort, you're not gonna look up wedding dresses. and wear a wedding dress.

- That's true. - No, no. But you do look up like wedding guest dresses, and, you know, sometimes bridal gets thrown. into the description. - I will also say this is not, I am not aware of this information. I don't know much about weddings, but I know apparently some of our information here says. to some wearing red to a wedding is sometimes. considered disrespectful as well. - Oh, okay. - Now that may not be the case in this situation. But I will say the thing that I've always heard growing up.

is like, you don't wanna try to like wear something huge. and flashy. You're trying to be there to, it is their day. - Right, like, you just have to dress formally. to fit the dress code. - Exactly. Like, you dress well to show respect for them. But this dress is pretty nice. Like, I'm like, damn. - Can I see it again? - Comments down below. Let us know what you think. - With Indian weddings, like what I can say is like the bride is like,

there's a lot more to her than the dress. Like, she's got jewelry, she's got mehndi from head to toe. Like, she is all out. And personally for my wedding, like I want all of my friends to go all out. I want everybody to dress like in Indian clothes as well. I wouldn't think of it as like an upstaging or whatever. But then like, when you bring in the whole, like I know white is so big. for traditional American weddings, and if that dress was white, like I'm livid.

I'm on the bride side. Like, you cannot do that. So if that's the case. in terms of like the glam factor of this dress. and it really did upset the bride, like it's kind of hard to be upset at the bride. for feeling like that. It is her special day. - I think the context too of like this is his ex. who he has kids with, like, you know? Like, if you're some random person at the wedding. and you wear this, it's like, okay, whatever.

- [Arasha] Right. - But you know walking into this wedding that you are... - Also yeah, not just the ex, but we have three children together. and we will always be connected in some way. - [Arasha] Right. - But I will say the moment that the bride, if I were there, the moment the bride asked me to leave, even if it was a two hour drive, I would not feel comfortable staying there anymore. at that point. - [Shayne] Yeah. - I think I would've personally left, even if it was an uncomfortable two hour drive home, just 'cause I don't wanna be somewhere. where I'm not welcome personally.

- Totally. I would go to like the bar across the street or something. - Yeah, yeah, go do something else. - I don't wanna be there anymore. - I'd get away. - I'm in a hot dress. I'm going anywhere else. - Yeah, go out. Be seen. - Yeah. - So the comments. Looking at the comments very quickly. solidifies my opinion on this. So someone asked, "Can you show us the dress?". Which means she didn't put that photo up immediately. - Oh, she was trying to withhold that information. - And that's one of those things. where when people do that in Reddit posts, I'm like,

"You're the asshole.". - The moment that they're withholding. - You were trying to get public favor. without giving us the most important piece of information. - Yeah. - That's true. All the time. - [Shayne] You're the asshole. You know what you did. - That happens all the time when they are the asshole. - Yeah. I would love a picture of her too. Like, her in the dress. - That's true. - She made people go to her profile to see the photo. - Did she give 'em the referral link, so if they bought it, she would get (laughs). - Commission. - This is a great commission post. - So that person who asked to see the dress, they said, "After seeing the dress, you're the asshole. "That dress is too much for a guest at a wedding.

"Way too bright. "And unless this was a super elegant wedding, too much. "I doubt it's too elegant. "as you said barely any dress code was given. "besides no white.". Someone else said, "Not the asshole. "Personally, I think you should have left, "but I don't think you're the asshole. "for wearing a pretty dress and not leaving, "reason being Stephanie had two chances. "before her wedding day to address this. "First, she could have made sure. "you were not sent an invite. "Second, she could have rescinded the invite. "once you RSVP'd yes. "It's her own fault for waiting. "until you showed up to deal with this.

"She ruined her own wedding day. "Edit, I just saw the picture of the dress. "Hahahahaha. "There's no way you didn't know. "that would be too much for a wedding. "Especially an ex. "Are you kidding me? "I was giving you the benefit of the doubt, "but now that I just saw a picture of the dress, "you're the asshole. "You absolutely knew what you were doing. "Stop trying to pretend like you didn't.". Lastly, someone said, "You wore a red lace wedding dress. "I saw the Amazon link you posted. "It's literally a wedding dress just in red. "You knew what you were doing.

"The listing literally says wedding dress. "You're the asshole.". Yeah, for me it's a little bit of the choice of like... It's one thing if you have a dress. and it ends up accidentally, but it says wedding dress. - [Arasha] Right. - I feel like that's easy to be like, "I should find a different one.". - And you're you're so right about the way. that she put it out there as incriminating her further. because the headline, "I wore a pretty dress,". we were like, "You did nothing wrong, girly.". And then you pull out the dress and you're like, that's much more than a pretty dress.

That's a full bridal gown. And it is, again, the context of showing up to that, knowing that your ex is the one getting married, like it was intentional. She left the dress out intentionally. Like, she knows that what she did. maybe wasn't the best thing. And then she put it out there in a coerced way. of being like, "Guys, I just wore a pretty dress. "Like, tell me that this girl is crazy.". And everyone's like, "Oh yeah, but let's see that dress.". - [Shayne] Lame. - Key factor in all of this.

- [Shayne] Absolutely. Absolutely. - It almost feels like it should be a telltale sign. if you are writing a thing and then you're about to say. or like you think. that someone's gonna want some information, but you're like, "Hmm, I probably shouldn't say that part though.". - Yeah, yeah. - I probably shouldn't show the picture. - [Shayne] No. - That's the sign right there. - Right, 'cause then you know that you are the one. in the wrong, but you're like, "But I don't wanna seem that way.". - Yeah. - [Shayne] It happens so often. - Yeah. - Yeah. That's tough. But it's cute. - Asshole. - Asshole. Let's move on. It comes from Relationship Advice, but this also ended up being posted on Am I The Devil. (Anthony laughs).

- Oh god. - [Shayne] The worst place to end up. - Oh my god. - Is that worse than the asshole? - Yeah. Am I The Devil is where they they gather up all the worst. of the worst. - Ooh. - This is a 32-year-old man. "I asked my wife, who's 30, "if we could open the relationship. "She agreed, and I'm feeling upset. "because although she's bisexual, "she's only sleeping with men.". - Wait. Sorry. He thought opening the relationship. would mean she'd sleep with women. (laughs).

- [Shayne] Yeah. - And he's like fine with that. He's fine with that. - No, no, no. - I feel like this is one of our, we haven't read many posts like this. I see posts like this on Reddit all the time. - Oh yeah. - Of people being like, "Yeah, we opened up our relationship. "and now things are going really bad.". - She's hooking up with other guys, - What I've seen on Reddit is the guy being like, "We should open up our relationship.". And then like one post later being like, "Okay, wait, we shouldn't do this.". (everyone laughs).

Let's see what this one is. "32-year-old man and my wife is 30. "After five years of marriage, "I felt like she had given me all she had to offer.". All right. (everyone exclaims). All right, well... - I wanna leave. I'm gonna get outta here. You know what? - You know what, let's pack this one up. (everyone laughs). - She had nothing else to give me! - [Shayne] Crazy. - He is the devil. - I sucked her dry of everything she was worth. - I got everything she had to offer. - That's wild to say. - Everything she had on the table. Five years and now she's done.

- Thought she had a few more years of something to offer me. but only five years. - She just lays there now. - "Now please don't judge me for saying that.". Okay. (Anthony laughs). - He knows he's the asshole when he says that! - But at least he's not holding back. He's putting the truth out there. All right, I'm with him. - I'm just being honest. - No, of course. - "She just had a very low sex drive, "and I have a higher one. "I figured opening the relationship would help our marriage. "and help me get my needs met. "She originally said no. "But after I explained to her the benefits, she said yes.

"after a few days of asking. "We seem both excited at the possibility of a threesome. "Now where the problem lies is that my wife is bisexual. "and yet the only people she's been sleeping with. "have been men. "When asked about this, "she said she only sleeps with people she clicks with. "and they just happen to be men. "When I told her my feelings about this, "she said it's only fair. "because I'm sleeping with other women. "While true, it makes me wonder if she's truly bisexual.". (Anthony laughs). - No. - Now he's questioning her sexuality?

- Uh-uh. - "When I asked for her to also sleep with women. "or I'd want to close the marriage again-". - Hey, babe, I have request. Sleep with other women please. - But, babe. - Please. - Babe. - "Or I'd want to close the marriage again, "she rolled her eyes and said no. "One of the guys I fear is trying to seriously date her. "He brings her flowers and food, pays for her nails, "and never even acknowledges me when he's over.". - Damn. - "I feel like she's dismissing my feelings. "and I'm getting frustrated. "I want to close our marriage again. "How do I approach this?".

- Damn it! This guy's treating her better than me! - Yeah, literally. - I was treating her like shit 'cause I was done with her. She had nothing else to offer me. And now I see that she's worth something. - This is so messed up. - [Arasha] Yeah. - This is the problem is that every, I don't think there's anything wrong. You know, I personally know I wouldn't be able. to ever do it, but I don't think there's anything wrong. with people opening up their marriage. I think what people wanna do is fine. But when people do it as a means of fixing something. in their relationship, I think that's wrong.

And I think anytime if people are in a relationship. and they're even considering this, there are therapists who literally, there are sex therapists out there who you can talk to. and be like, "We're thinking of this.". And they can be like, "Let's make sure this is what you both really want.". - Right, right. - And there's, you know, there's layers to it. - Also, it sounds like he had an expectation. for the way things would go with her. and who she would date and what it would mean. - Completely. - It sounds like he had a fantasy. - He had a fantasy. And none of these boundaries were discussed. - And he's trying too to be like,

"I wanted to help my needs get met.". Like, no, you wanted your (beep) to get wet. (everyone laughs). You wanted these two women in front of you, you wanted a threesome with two women. And now it's not working out, and he's like, "Fuck. "Now this other guy's better at being a boyfriend. "than I am a husband.". - [Shayne] Yeah. - It's not good at all. - And frankly, and I'm reading into this, but it sounds like she didn't have a low sex drive. It sounds like they weren't fostering their relationship. and their connection so she wasn't into it.

And here he is saying, "She's given me all she's had to offer.". It's like no wonder she's not attracted to you. - Truly. Yeah. - Like, that's your mindset? - It sounds like she's attracted to people. that she clicks with, she said that, and they just were not clicking. And it sounds like this man. who felt like this woman was worthless to him at this point. was not showing her that she had the value to him. that maybe he was showing her in the beginning. of the relationship when maybe they clicked better, maybe their sex life was better in the beginning.

- Right, right. He jumped to a solution, which is what he thought was opening up the relationship. when it literally could have been communicating, seeing a therapist, going to some like couples counseling, like actually coming up with what would be better. instead of just being like, "Oh, well wait, maybe if she sleeps with other women, "then she'll feel more enlightened and sexy. "and then she can offer me more again.". - At no point did he mention her needs. - Right. - That's true. - It's entirely about his needs. And now that they've opened up the relationship,

she's now getting her needs met and he's upset about that. - And it's like clearly she doesn't have a low sex drive. She doesn't wanna have sex with you. - Yeah. It's 'cause he obviously didn't treat her. as if she had value anymore. Even the way he discusses her, "She had nothing else to offer.". - Yeah. It seems like her only worth to him is sex, based on his description here. Now it's a short post, but... Let's read some comments here.

- [Arasha] Please. - "Maybe you were the reason she had a low sex drive. "and now she found someone else who finds her exciting. "You opened the marriage. "You have to deal with the consequences. "There are many threads on Reddit. "where one wants to open the marriage. "and the other finds a better partner. "Maybe that is what is happening with her.". Eh, that's true. - [Arasha] That's the truth. - Someone said, "LOL, I too am rolling my eyes at you. "You made this bed, now lie in it.". Someone else said, "Cool. "The reality didn't live up to your fantasy. "Lesson learned. "You can't dictate who your wife sleeps with.

"That's gross. "Also, as a woman, sleeping with men is easy and accessible. "It's much harder to find women. "who are open to hooking up with bi partnered women.". And then lastly, someone said, "Well, that's way too many words to justify cheating. "on your wife and hoping you would get a threesome. "with some hot women as an additional bonus. "for being a cheating clown. "There's no way your hopeless ass had no one ready. "and on the standby before this pathetic attempt. "to open your marriage the way you wanted. "LOL, what a heartwarming story.

"Tell your wife she's a rockstar.". Yeah. Yep. - Wow. - Yeah. I mean, I don't know if he cheated 'cause he did, although he did pester her until she said yes. - It seems that's the case, and yeah. - Also, he's like, "I wanna open it. "Now I wanna close it.". And it's like then he wants to open it. It just seems like he wants it to all be. whatever will meet his needs in a very specific time. - Right. - Without ever considering her. And I think that's what the issue is at the root. - [Shayne] Absolutely. - Yeah. He's like, "You'll catch up if I wanna open it, "if I wanna close it, you'll just be on board.

"because it's what I say, right?". - Yeah. Sounds like he wants to just be able to say. whatever he wants to happen and that will happen. without him putting in the effort or the work. in order for him to actually see the results that he wants. He's given up on her. He could be working harder to show her. that he's a good partner, that he cares about her. Maybe she would actually find him attractive again. - You know, who else does that? The devil. - This guy is a devil. - [Anthony] This guy's not just an asshole. - He is a devil. I would also say he is just really stupid. - Yeah. - I think he's very emotionally immature.

- He's not there. - I think he has not done work on himself. I think he has not ever maybe spoken. about where these feelings are coming from. It seems like he hasn't even tried to communicate. with his wife about these feelings. - Yeah. - Seems like he just came up with an assumption of like, "Oh, well she doesn't have anything else. "to offer me anymore.". Instead of like discussing why the relationship. has become stagnant. - All right, next story here. Oh. (crew laughs). - Shayne. - This is Am I The Asshole. - This is never a good sign. - Stop reading ahead. - That's how you started the last story. - No, I just see the title and then I'm just like...

This also ended up on Am I The Devil, so let's see if this beats-. - Oh boy. - Open marriage man. "Am I the devil for making my ex,". in quotations, "homeless?". (Shayne laughs). - Okay, I'm trying to think of a way that that's justified. Like, they both owned a house together, and they moved out, and she didn't have as much money or something. But let's... Where does this go? - Okay. - [Arasha] Yeah, let's see. - Reading this title out loud, the way it's written is,

"Am I the asshole for making my ex 'homeless'? "A while back, my wife and I got divorced pretty amicably. "Instead of selling our family home and splitting the money, "I suggested that I take a loan using the house. "as collateral and buy myself another place. "That way she could continue to live there. "and our kids would inherit it eventually. "She was reluctant, but eventually I convinced her. "She's always been like that. "Her reluctance to taking any chances. "has held me back many times. "Anyway, this was a good plan, and it worked for a while.

"Eventually, however, I ran into money trouble. "Everything was more expensive than I thought. "The fixer upper I bought needed a lot of renovation, "and I got deeper in debt. "I kept paying the bank just not every month, "sometimes less than the full amount due for the month, "et cetera. "Eventually the bank foreclosed, "and the house was sold to repay the debt. "It was a shock to everyone. "The bank had sent some threatening letters, "but as I was still paying, "I didn't think they'd go that far. "Anyway, my ex moved in with our youngest son. "She is doing fine and is not in any way homeless,

"but she keeps complaining about losing the house. "And my kids have gone low contact with me. "They all go out of their way to help their mom, "while I only get scraps every now and then, "even though I also needed help sometimes since then. "I know I made a mistake, "but it's not like I planned it like this. "I lost a lot too. "And even though I have the house that I bought back then, "it's nothing fancy and it's expensive to maintain. "Besides my ex got to live alone in the house. "for a couple of years rent free. "Last time we met, "I told my kids they should show more gratitude. "for my part in raising them.

"and they should think that they have two parents, "not just one. "They're all doing pretty well financially. "They said I'm an asshole for demanding anything of them. "after what I did to their mom. "They said I should give her some money every month. "to compensate for some of the loss. "While I do earn more than her, I have expenses too. "And it's not like she needs it really. "She's living rent free, and our son is pretty well off, "so he won't be kicking her out. "I admit that my plan didn't work out, "and it caused her some loss. "But am I really such an asshole. "for expecting my kids to help me too like they help my ex?".

- Oh boy. - That is a lot to unpack. - It is a lot to unpack. I don't know if it's a bias. or just from reading a lot of these Reddit stories, whenever it's a parent. and at any point they talk about their kids being low. or no contact, I immediately am just kinda like, "Well, you're probably the asshole.". Like, that takes a lot for-. - For your kids to be like, "Bye.". - Multiple kids to all be like, "We don't wanna deal with you.". He was like, "This was a good plan.

"She was reluctant. "She's always reluctant. "But this was a good plan, "and it worked for a while until it didn't.". - And he had to pester her and pester her. until she finally said yes. And I think that's a thing. That's probably what she's been holding onto this whole time. is how she's like, "I knew this wasn't a good decision. "and you've essentially forced me to say okay to it.". - Yeah. I'm not some financial genius, but suggesting. that I take a loan using the house as collateral. and buy myself another place,

the nature of that is a huge risk. - Oh yeah. - It's a huge risk. And then it's like, "Oh, I ended up in money troubles.". It's like, well, yeah. That's the actual risk that you knew could happen. - [Arasha] Totally. - And it seems like she was aware that it could happen too. I feel bad for her. - Yeah, my problem with this guy is that he came up. with this plan and when it inevitably failed, he's like, "Well, but it was good enough for a while.". And he's like riding off of that.

- He's like, "You lived rent free for multiple years.". - Yeah, he's like, "It failed, but it took time for it to fail. "And in that time that it hadn't failed yet, "you got to live in that house rent free.". And now that it failed. and he is still living in his own place, he's like, "Well, you guys are doing fine. "Like, you had everything that I gave you, "and now you should help me out.". And it's like, no, you made a huge mistake. and you're not taking any accountability. I am sure that the ex. and the kids would be able to hear him out if he was like,

"Huge mistake. "Like, let's maybe have my place. "as where we both coexist for a bit.". Like, trying to come up with some sort of troubleshooting. - Instead he justified every moment of it. - Yeah, and he's just like, "Well, I'm going through it. "I need some help.". And you're like, no, you're not offering anything else. - And I have some theories. You know, he said eventually the bank foreclosed. on the house. He's like, "It was a shock to everyone. "The bank had sent me some threatening letters, "but as I was still paying,

"I didn't think they'd go that far.". I think it was either not a shock to everyone. or it was a shock to everyone. because he wasn't relaying this information. You're getting threatening letters from the bank, like, dude. - Scary town. - He just brushes it off. He's like, "I didn't think it was that serious.". - [Shayne] Come on. - It's just the bank who owns the house. - What are they gonna do? - If the bank sends me a threatening letter, I'm crying. Like, that's scary. - That's terrifying. - You are in debt to someone, whether or not it's the bank,

and that person, the bank, is saying, "We're gonna take this away from you.". - Yeah, the first thing you do is tell your mom. Like, he's gotta tell his wife or his ex, like this situation. He has to communicate what's going on. And, you know, it really frustrates me that he was like, "Oh, my youngest son is well off. "He's not gonna kick his mom out.". Obviously he's not gonna kick his mom out, but that doesn't mean that's the ideal situation. to be living his life. - He doesn't wanna have to support his mother. and have his mother living with him. because his dad took a huge risk. - Totally.

- Lost their house that they grew up in. And the dad, this guy still has his other place. He still has it. He didn't give it up. - And he's like, "It's not that luxurious.". - It's just a shitty little house. - It's a home. It's a home with a roof, and the ex does not have one. - She doesn't. It's so shitty. - [Arasha] Yeah. - Comments here. "I'd bet money this wasn't the first promise. "he didn't keep.". Someone else said, "LOL, wife always held you back, huh? "But when you go solo, you fail so spectacularly.

"that you lose both houses. "and whatever goodwill remained with your family. "Yep. You're the asshole. "Love the passive voice. "on why you failed with the renovation. "Everything was more expensive. "Not I didn't do my research. "or have an actual feasible plan.". - True. - Someone else said, "You're the asshole. "Foreclosure is not something that happens overnight. "You 100% knew it was coming and didn't tell her.". That's what I believe. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And lastly, someone said, "You're the asshole. "The house should have been sold.

"instead of you taking a loan using the house as collateral. "Your inability to pay the loan. "causes foreclosure of the house, "causing your ex and youngest to move. "Did you even give her any of the money. "from the sale of the house? "Finally, your kids don't owe you anything. "Clearly they can see. "that your mess up screwed their mom over.". - Damn. And that little jab he made too at the beginning, like, "She's always holding me back.". - [Shayne] Oh, I hate that. - Or, "She's always reluctant.". - Yeah, that's so gross. - You're angry and you clearly executed that. inside of your plan too.

- [Shayne] Yeah. - And then he demands respect from his children. instead of earning it. - [Shayne] Right. - Just like, "You need to respect me!". - After screwing everyone over. - Yeah. - Hey, come on. - Just being like, "You have two parents, you know that?". And it's like, no, they're not just supporting her. because she's a parent, but because she has clearly gone through it with you. - He's acting like his decisions only affected, you know, it's bad enough, but he's acting like it only affected his wife, but it affected everyone in the family. - [Arasha] Yeah. - "Eventually, however, I ran into money trouble.".

(Anthony laughs). Care to explain? - The money trouble found me. I was just minding my own business. - That feels like the red wedding dress in this one, where I'm like, "What's the money trouble, dude?". - Yeah, yeah. - What is it? What happened? - It's not gambling or drugs. - Yeah, I'm kinda like, "Come on, dude. "Tell us what happened.". - No, he knew. He knew. Just like she knew, they knew. - He didn't have a plan for the renovations at all. or an estimate that he stuck to?

He just kept doing whatever happened. I just kept paying the bills through the bank. - He's like, "I'm giving them a few hundred. "Like, they don't mean what they're saying in these letters. "They're just bluffing.". - I threw the bank some scraps. They should be fine with that. - Right. - I am someone who's terrified of banks, IRS, any government stuff. I know like you can't, sometimes people get away with it. Like, they skim by and they're like, "Okay, they're not gonna foreclose it. "I'm paying just enough, or I'm late, but it's okay.".

Look, man, banks don't give a shit about you. Like, they really don't. - No. - I feel like this guy is used to like skipping out. on taxes this year, skipping jury duty. Like, he's like, "It's not really that serious.". - No. A bank will ruin your life. They really, truly do not give a shit. - And it sounds like he still literally. did not learn his lesson. He's like, "Well, at least we were good for a while.". Like, he's not like, "Well, lesson learned. "Shouldn't have done that.". - Yeah, he's not acting like he learned a single lesson. throughout this entire thing. - He's focused on himself. - And he's not acting like any of it was his decision.

that caused this issue. He's like, "The renovations were more expensive. "There's some money troubles. "The bank was coming after me.". It was all these external factors, but he's not taking ownership of it. - Nothing of like, "I should have done this. "I should have listened to the letters.". - No regret, nothing learned. - No. - And he's saying like, "It was a good plan.". I'm like, I don't think it was a good plan. - I don't think it was a good plan. - And you know who else does that? - The devil? - The devil. - The devil. Moving on. "Am I the asshole for leaving sexually explicit messages.

"where my colleague could see them?". This is gonna be funny 'cause all of us at Smosh just had. to take the sexual harassment training course thing. Like, the online course. - I think this is literally one of the examples. And they show like these two guys like, "Oops, I accidentally left this message. "here in front of my colleague.". And it's like, that is a no-no. - And it's like that person looks to the camera. and they're like, "What do I do?". - I would kill to be an actor in one of those.

- I did those once. I did those once in college. - Did you? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - [Shayne] Oh shit. - I bet I could find them too. - What was it for specifically? - I did it for like inside of high schools. Like, if students are asking teachers like, "I can't afford my textbooks, could you help me out?". - Oh. - And then the professor would be like, "What do I do?". - So this is something they show to the professors. to say like, "This might happen to you.". - Yeah, yeah. I definitely have the footage, you guys, and I'm willing to share. - That's crazy. - Oh, it's insane. - "Am I the asshole for leaving sexually explicit messages.

"where my colleague could see them? "I, a 35-year-old woman, am a teacher. "at an alternative school where each class has two teachers. "My co-teacher, who's 34, is very in your face, "in your business, "and doesn't understand boundaries very well. "She is always looking over my shoulder. "She will straight up yank my laptop away from me. "and look at what I'm typing. "If my phone goes off, she goes, 'Ooh, who is that?'. "And things of that nature. "I've gently tried to explain to her. "that I don't want her touching my stuff like that. "She'll say stuff like, 'Oh, well, I'm an open book.

"'It's no big deal.'. "When I've explained less gently to her, "she borderline cries and gets into an anxiety loop. "where she accuses me of being mean and/or mad at her. "I'm currently in a long distance relationship, "and my boyfriend and I rely a lot on sexting. "to keep our relationship fun. "He's in a different time zone, "so the things I send him at night won't get responses. "until the next morning sometimes. "Today I noticed he was sending me text responses. "to photos I had taken last night. "about what they made him want to do with me.

"I want to point out quickly. "that there were no kids in this room at this time, "and even if one had wandered in, "they're too short to get my phone and too young to read. "I decided to leave my phone on a tall standing desk. "by my own laptop while going to get a cup of coffee, "knowing my co-teacher would probably look at it. "When I got back, "my co-teacher told me in a very serious voice. "that I need to be careful about what I am doing at work. "because she saw my disgusting and inappropriate texts. "I told her she wouldn't have seen them. "if she hadn't been looking for them.

"And she said that wasn't the point, "that she felt sexually harassed, "but wouldn't go to HR about it. "because the children wouldn't be able. "to handle a change in teachers.". - Wow! - I am actually curious about just like legally. and HR-wise the interpretation of that. - Right. - Right. - 'Cause we've had stories like this before. I think anyone who is like invasive. in this way is an asshole. You're an asshole. Whether an HR person would say that what she did was wrong,

whether she, but I also am like, I never see what's on anyone's phone ever. Like, I do view that on my personal level, I do view that as almost like what's going on in your head? Like, I'm like, that's your own private space. Like, I'm not gonna see that, so I don't really care. So I don't know where I stand on this because I ultimately. just think this person sounds annoying as fuck.

- Oh yeah. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. The who is it? Like, sure, if you're like one of my best friends. and my phone goes off, like, I'm gonna tell you. - And not work. Even if you're your best friend, at work you're not doing that stuff. - Totally. No, that's like when you're hanging out, somebody's phone's going off, you might be like, "Who's calling?". But like I agree. People's business are their own business. Like, you have really no right. I love what you said. Like, yeah, it's their head, it's their thoughts. that they're like typing out to other people. Particularly too in this relationship, that is 100% between the two of them.

and should not be peaked at. - 100% the person who is being invasive is the asshole. But I do wanna mention that you can make it. so you can choose a setting on your phone. so that the contents of a text. does not automatically display in the notification. - Yeah. I'm curious. "I decided to leave my phone on a tall standing desk. "by my own laptop while going to get coffee. "knowing my co-teacher would probably look at.". - That's the kind of a weird detail that stood out to me.

- We've had stories like this, and I know a lot of people disagree with me on it, and I think that's okay, 'cause I do think this person's an asshole. I think you're an asshole. if you're invasive in any sort of way. But it's the matter of purposefully, like knowing in your head they're about to see this. and you want them to see it. - Do you think that's what it was? Like, she wanted her-. - "Knowing my co-teacher would probably look at it.". She said that. - She just probably didn't think. - Now I can't relate to that. 'cause I just wouldn't want anyone to see it,

especially if I don't know what like a significant other. is gonna say. You're like (beep). There is also something of like you are on work time. and you teach kids. Now there were no kids in the room. But it's like, you don't know what your partner might send. Like, if you're-. - And if she's sending pictures, the partner might send a picture. - [Shayne] She sent pictures last night. - But he might send a picture back in the morning. - That's what I'm saying. Like, if he sends a dick pic. and it's there and a kid sees it, you are probably fired then.

- You don't need to read to see that. - My take on that is just like, I'm like, I'm not gonna risk that. Like, that's a risk. - I'm gonna keep my phone very close to me. if that's something that I'm concerned about, especially if I have this invasive coworker, I kind of feel like I am never leaving my shit out. - Definitely. Definitely. - But I would absolutely, I mean, I think she could have complained to higher ups. of like, "Hey, they are consistently grabbing my devices, "grabbing my phone, looking at my stuff. "My privacy's being invaded.". - Totally. - Yeah.

It is funny that she threatened the HR thing. when she could have had HR called on her this entire time. - Certainly. - The verdict was everyone sucks. - Okay. Okay. - I see it. - [Anthony] I see it. - Someone said, "Everyone sucks here. "She shouldn't have been snooping. "But come on, don't sext during work time.". OP responded, "I don't sext at work. "My boyfriend responded. "to texts I had sent the night before, "and I let the preview stay on the phone. "while I grabbed a cup of coffee.".

- Why did she let-. - "I usually just keep my phone away. "and don't respond until I'm home in the evening.". 727 up votes. Someone else said, "What if her boss walked in. "and happened to glance at the phone screen lighting up. "with a new message and saw inappropriate content. "on a phone lying about? "Some of us have just that luck. "Not to mention OP should know better. "than to underestimate kids' ability. "to get places they shouldn't be. "to grab things they shouldn't have.". OP said, "Kids are pre-K. "They were at recess and couldn't come back. "without an adult escort walking them past the break room.

"where I was getting coffee. "Standing desk is at the back corner of the room. "I had my phone between my laptop and the wall. "The only way for her to see the text. "is to walk to the back corner, lean over my laptop, "and tap the screen to see previews. "I was gone for a maximum of five minutes.". 41 down votes. But I mean, like, if it was truly like that secure. and she had to tap it to look at it, I mean, I would hate someone who's doing that. I would hate them. - No, definitely she should have reported.

the invasive person and that could have all been avoided. I think the verdict makes sense. Everyone sucks, but I don't think that the person who, again, like she said, she wasn't sexting at work. She was just like, "I'm not even gonna respond to this because I'm at work. "I'm with these kids.". Like, she left it there. - It's a good question of, I have so many questions of like, are you responsible for texts you receive? - [Anthony] Right. - Like, if you didn't send anything inappropriate,

but someone happens to send you something inappropriate. and your phone is out, is that your responsibility? I'm genuinely curious. - I feel like it wouldn't be your responsibility, but in this case it is her responsibility. because this is a habit and routine. This is something, it sounds like she knew this was happening. It sounds like it was a conscious decision. to leave the previews on the phone. - Yeah. It's something I am conflicted about, and I'm so curious what our comments will say.

- Well, here's what I'll also say with HR getting involved. She would have a much stronger case. if this wasn't a habit or a pattern. I just am confident that that HR person would be like, "Has this happened before where she touches your phone?". And the answer will be like, "Oh yeah, she does it all the time.". And then it's like, "Okay, well why didn't you report that?". - Right. - Like, that is a huge privacy matter. that could have been avoided this whole situation. - Last comment here is, "It's not so much about whether you're an asshole or not, "but rather whether you'd be willing to lose your job.

"just to be shocking to this woman. "Probably not a smart move career-wise.". I think that's what I agree with. - Yeah. - Most of all, I'm like, you purposefully left previews up. - She was trying to be shocking it sounds like. - You were trying to show this to him. And I'm like, that's where, I get it 'cause I know that that would cross my mind too. if I was dealing with an invasive person where I'd be like, "Well, I'm gonna make 'em (beep) pay.". But I also am like, you're risking a lot for that catharsis. - I feel like there's something unspoken here.

because I wanna know why is she trying to have her see this? If it was just a little funny prank, I might have my partner text me something. that was about that person as a joke or something. But it was just random little... - Well, let's see, 'cause (blows noisemaker) update. - Oh! Oh! - Oh thank God! - We need this update! - "So I decided to take everyone's advice. "and went to HR about my colleague snooping, "and they determined she's in the wrong for snooping. "and that I hadn't done anything wrong since.".

- Great. - "I don't send any non-work related texts at work. "unless it's my lunch break. "And I never text my boyfriend from work, "which is backed up by CCTV. "Keep my phone in my work apron. "whenever kids might be around. "My co-teacher has hers out often, "so I usually know when we're getting work related messages. "because she sees them first. "and is incapable of not commenting on them verbally. "I had put my phone in a discreet corner of the room. "in the back at my desk between my laptop and the wall. "My colleague had walked to the back of the room. "as soon as the door shut behind me,

"leaned across my laptop, "and tapped the screen to view text previews. "after my screen had gone dark. "and picked up my phone to look at them, which was on CCTV.". - Ooh. Jesus. - You cannot do that. - [Shayne] That's insane. - That is uncomfortable. - You can't. - That's absolutely insane. "A few other clarifications. "I have text previews on and image previews off. "Pictures just show up as the word image in my preview. "The reason I have text previews turned on. "is that my job uses the same messaging app as my boyfriend. "And when you're working with kids, "it's good to be able to see what's going on immediately.

"rather than logging in and slogging through a dozen texts. "Parents also text through the work group chat, "and I don't reply outside of designated hours. "and they hate being left on read, "so it's great to know when it's, "'explain in detail why my Johnny in the green group. "'and not the gold group,'. "versus 'by the way, Johnny will die if he eats peanuts, "'and I forgot to tell you, "'and it's ants on a log day, LMAO.'. "When my boyfriend texts me during work hours, "I usually immediately clear the previews out, "and I don't open our chat until I'm in my car after work.

"If there is a way to turn off text previews for one person. "and not another in this app, I don't know it. "On this day, the kids had just been dismissed. "to music class and lunch for the next hour and some. "They are three to four years old. "and can't come back to the room. "without an adult escorting them. "And if this had happened for a wildly unusual reason, "they would've been escorted past the break room. "where I was. "Then if a kid had somehow gotten to my standing desk. "and gotten ahold of my phone. "after pushing a chair toward it. "and climbing up to get my phone unnoticed, "they would not know how to read.

"That's a lot of what ifs to happen. "in the time it took me to use the Keurig. "Four, there was no reason for anyone to be at my desk. "It's in the back of the room and just has my stuff on it. "My phone was only visible to someone who was looking for it. "and who would have to tap the screen. "and pick up the phone to look at the previews. "So that's it. "Was it petty and risky for me to do what I did? "For sure. "Should I have complained to HR on my own sooner? "Yes. "I wouldn't recommend it, but it's done. "And hopefully snooping is now over.".

Yeah, some context here too. "Even though she's using her phone for work, "if her job is not paying for her cell phone bill. "or providing a separate work phone, "they likely cannot police what content is on her phone.". Interesting. - Oh. - Yeah, knowing that this woman walked up, like grabbed her phone. Like, tapping someone else's phone, insane to me. - I was just thinking imagine literally anybody in the room. just you walking in and them being on your phone, you would immediately be like, "What are you doing?".

Like, that's inappropriate. - No, it's absolutely insane. I think it's insane no matter who it is. Like, significant others, anyone. Like, to tap someone's phone, like I said, I view that as like part of a person, so I'm like, dude, that's intense. - Protocol is usually like, "Somebody's phone. "Like, who's is this?". Like, I'm not looking at it. I'm not even gonna touch it. - Damn, that says a lot about where we are though. If your phone is a part of you, like your brain. - I know. For sure. But I just mean it's like it's part of your private life.

- I mean, it's true. It is true. - Everything is housed there. - It's no different than looking. through someone's email inbox or looking through, you know, it's like looking through someone's safe in their house. - It is the same thing. - Or like digging around in their room. Like, it's stuff that they have like written out. It's stuff that like their thoughts are out there. It's more just that you are putting things down. on your phone that you aren't expecting other people to see. Like, that is the big thing is that you feel safe. and private in your phone. You feel safe texting another person,

hoping that it's just you and them speaking. - This person's a (beep) weirdo. Straight up. - [Anthony] Super weird. - I mean, and the response of like, to get anxious and like sad or whatever, I'm like, well, you're making this person anxious. by invading their space. - I don't like it at all. She needs some more drama in her own life. - That is what she's looking for. I will say it is weird how the poster's like, "Yeah, it was petty.". It feels like there's something else there. What was petty about it to the poster? Was it that she was like fishing for a reaction?

- She was looking for a cathartic, she wanted to shock her. She wanted to make her feel bad about snooping. And we've had stories like that before, and I get it. I get that like, "Well, they're not gonna stop doing it. "So I'm gonna make them.". But especially in a work setting, you should go about it professionally. Because seeking out that revenge, you might sacrifice your job in the process. - [Arasha] Right. - And she admits she could have gone to HR sooner, but instead she took the route of I'm gonna shock them.

because it sounds like she knew. what messages were gonna show up, what messages she would see. It almost seems like that. - It seems a little planned out, but I am fully in forgiveness of her. 'cause it sounds like she is holding responsibility. for all of it. - Yeah, it's also wild that this all happened. when they have CCTV, and I'm like, it's there. You're saying she's grabbing your devices, it's on camera. - And they could go back through all the CCTV footage, and they can see all the times. that this woman's grabbing her shit.

- Yeah, I'm imagining it too. And the desk is just in this corner, and if she's saying like it's between her laptop. and the wall, it could not be further away. from the children, from her workspace. Like, this other woman is intentionally trying to go over, pick up the phone, see what it is, and then act like it affected her. and like she is the victim of this situation. - It sounds like this invasive person. just always has on their mind like, "What's on everyone else's phones?". - [Arasha] Right? - What's on their phones? - [Arasha] It's like relax. - I don't understand that mindset. I'm a private person. I also really try to respect other people's privacy.

- Yeah, yeah. - As you should. - All right, last story. "Am I the asshole. "for refusing to delete a video taken in public?". I think we might have another, there could be another devil. - Sounds like a yes to me. because if you refuse to take down a video. that someone else requested to take down, you're probably an asshole, but okay. Let's see what you got. - Let's see. - Okay, well take down "Food Battle.". (everyone laughs). - Well, delete your channel. - That wasn't recorded in public.

- Take down Smosh then. - Take it all down. - Just erase yourself. - I'm gonna take down this video. - No! - [Arasha] Not the happy New Year video. - Here we go. "Am I the asshole. "for refusing to delete a video taken in public? "This weekend, my girlfriend and I were walking. "at a local reservoir. "when down by the water we saw a lady going past us. "with hundreds of ducks following her. "I am not exaggerating at all. "I'd say there were at least 200 to 300 birds. "if not more quacking and splashing. "and climbing all over each other trying to get closer.

"to the food she was tossing. "It was a hell of a scene. "So I started recording it. "because frankly I'd never seen anything. "quite like it before. "I'd say the path where we were was about 30. "or 40 feet back from the water, "so it was from a pretty respectable distance, "not getting up in her face or anything. "For a good minute or two, "I'm just filming all these ducks going crazy. "Well, the lady looks up and sees me and says, "'Are you recording?'. "I tell her, 'Yeah, I'm recording it. "'There are like 300 ducks back there.'. "So she yells, 'I don't wanna be in the picture!

"'Delete that video! "'I didn't give you permission!'. "I tell her, 'No, I'm not deleting it. "'We're out in public. "'I don't need permission to take pictures of things. "'I'm not even taking a video of you. "'You just happen to be in it walking past.'. "She says, 'Well then how about if I take a picture of you?'. "And pulls out her phone. "I tell her, 'I don't care. "'Go ahead. "'What are you gonna do? Frame it?'". (everyone laughs). "So she's just standing there taking pictures of us. "until finally we all walk away pissed off. "So am I the asshole? "I guess this lady thought I was being rude,

"but I didn't see anything wrong with what I was doing, "especially since it wasn't even her. "I was really taking the video of.". - This is duck lady who was complaining or? - Yeah. - [Shayne] The duck lady. - But you were taking videos of the ducks. - So the duck lady started taking photos of them, and yeah. - Okay. I could see this. 'Cause legally, I think legally you are allowed. to take videos in a public space. - I think legally he's within his rights. So it's not a legal conversation. - [Arasha] It's not on a technicality. - [Shayne] It's an asshole conversation. - Yeah.

- Of someone being like, "Hey, I don't want be in your video.". - I think it's fair to say, "I don't wanna be in a video.". And then I think the respectful thing to do is say, "Okay.". - Yeah. - It sounds like those ducks aren't going anywhere. It sounds like there's 300. It's like, "Great. "Do you mind if I, but can I record these ducks over here?". - [Anthony] Yeah, or "I'll crop you out.". - Like, you can't complain if someone's recording something. that you're not in. - Yeah. - So it sounds like he could have easily just been like, "Oh, sorry, I'll delete this one. "and then I'm gonna film these ducks.". - Yes, it's asshole behavior to be like, "No.". - Yeah.

- Like, somebody's asking you to do something. It's not about the legality of it. It's just like being kind and respecting it. - Just being a little respectful. And honestly, nowadays, man, like videos (beep) go viral. and like it doesn't sound, she's not doing anything wrong in the video, but like the next day she could wake up. and suddenly it's like duck lady! And it's like you're all over TikTok and Twitter. And people are talking about duck lady. - Or this is what she does. This is her private thing. Now more people are gonna start trying to join in. - [Shayne] Oh, that's a good point. - It's hard to know. what ramification she imagined there would be.

But if someone says, "Please don't record me,". obviously you say, "Okay, I won't record you.". - She's trying to gatekeep the ducks. - It could potentially, I don't know, it could potentially be illegal to feed the birds here. or something in this reservoir. And she's like, eh. But to me my take is I'm like, dude, it's so easy. to just like not have this be a situation. - Yeah. - Yeah. - 'Cause frankly, look, I get it. You run into like, I'm imagining this is an older woman, you can run into just like crazy people who are like,

"Hey, are you recording me? "Like, I'm gonna record you!". And I'm like, you might be crazy, but like let me just avoid this situation. - This conflict. - I'll go record the ducks over here. - And to give him some credit too, it doesn't sound like she was the coolest about it too. Like, yelling from 30 feet away. It's obviously not very easy to be receptive to that. And then being like, "Well, I'm gonna take your picture.". Like, I'm sure that that riled him up and he was like, "Great, I'll pose.". Like, I'm sure that that just made the whole altercation.

really aggressive. - It almost just became a like principle. It's like, I can legally do this though. - Yeah. - [Shayne] It's like, okay. - Cool, but how about you just be a nice person about it? - Yeah. - We don't know the gender of this person. They were there with their girlfriend. I would say if it was a man by himself, I 100% understand someone not wanting to be recorded. by some guy. - Sure. - But if it's a couple, and they're clearly stating like, "There's 300 ducks here.

"I want to record this.". I get that. - And when it was brought up, he was like, "The ducks, they're cool, right?". Like, it didn't really seem like he was making, he made it pretty obvious it wasn't about her initially. - Yeah, yeah. - No, I think this lady might be a little nuts, but like-. - The context was clear though that it was about the ducks. It wasn't about her. And I think you're absolutely right. Whatever the gender was of whoever was taking the video, they were with their girlfriend. And I always, whenever I see at least just a man. with a girl, I'm like, okay. He's with a woman. He's safer.

I trust him. - She thinks he's safe. - I trust it. Yeah, no, exactly. I trust that she's not gonna be with a bad man. So I trust this couple. So I think that would give me a little bit more ease. And I would hope. that that would happen with this older woman. But I guess she could've just still felt targeted. - Some comments here. "You're the asshole. "It might be legal, "but if someone doesn't wanna be recorded, "you should respect that.". Someone else said, "Agreed. "You might be on legally solid ground, "not sure, but that seems right.

"But that doesn't make you scot free on the asshole scale. "You're the asshole.". Someone else asked for some info. They said, "Info, if you post it online. "or save to show others, will you be editing her out of it. "or downloading something to hide her privacy?". OP responded, "I don't really plan to post it online. "And in any case, all you really see of this lady. "is the side/back of her head as she goes by, "which was mostly covered by a hat. "and from like 30 feet away.". Someone said, "So the answer to my question is no then?

"You will not be doing anything to protect her privacy. "You're the asshole.". OP says, "Not doing anything to protect her privacy. "You mean other than keeping the video private? "And you can't even see who she is anyways?". 69 down votes. Nice. Yeah, yeah. Is privacy not posting it online? Or is privacy like, oh, but you still have that video. - Right. - [Shayne] Someone has a video of you, like that is uncomfortable. - I guess someone with that logic could argue. that they record you and they're like, "Oh, but it's private.

"It's just for me.". - Yeah, or he very well could have just been like-. - Yeah, that's somehow so much worse. Don't worry, I'm not gonna post this. This is for my private collection. - [Anthony] I put it in my hidden folder. It's cool. - I mean, he easily could have just lied as well. and been like, "Okay, yeah, I'm gonna delete it,". because she's not gonna see it on the internet. - Is she gonna swim over, like whatever paddle over? - I hope when I'm scrolling through TikTok next. I get a 300 duck video followed by a getting ready. for a date I don't want to go on. - And you know I'm gonna see that dress pop up. as a sponsor.

They're listening to me. - Someone said, "So in my country it would be illegal. "for you to post that if the person. "in the recording does not consent. "Because here there really is an expectation of privacy. "even when in public. "Not everyone has the need. "nor desire to be trending on TikTok. "Some of us also don't want our image/likeness scattered. "on the internet. "You would be the asshole if you posted unedited. "Do what you can to remove or blur her out if possible. "Have a shred of understanding. "that some people just don't wanna be recorded. "and spread to the entire world population.

"Keep in mind, this is only if you post it online. "Recording for your own private use only, "that's not really a concern.". OP said, "Yeah, I've got no interest. "in posting it on the internet. "Not everything has to be viral.". 644 up votes. Someone responded to that saying, "I did chuckle when you got all annoyed and left. "because she turned the tables and filmed you. "Do you still not understand why you doing it. "to her was intrusive and annoying. "even when you felt the same thing yourself? "You're the asshole for entitled lack of empathy. "People aren't just props for your life.".

OP responded to that saying, "I didn't feel the same thing myself. "I honestly didn't care that she was taking pictures of me. "It wasn't intrusive or annoying. "It was just stupid at that point. "to keep standing around arguing with this ding bat. "when that's what the situation had devolved to.". 126 down votes on that one. - Thank God. - Someone said, "If a woman asks you to stop staring at her, "the not creepy and non-asshole thing to do is stop. "I don't see why you think making a personal video. "of someone who asked you not to is so different.".

- The fact that he's like, "Well, I didn't feel intrusive. "and I didn't feel weird or annoyed about it.". And it's like, okay, but not everybody thinks like you do. Like, she clearly expressed that she was not cool. with you filming her. So her turning around like, yeah, that was obviously a bad argument. on her part to be like, "Well, I'm gonna film you.". But the whole point is that they both came off. of that understanding it differently. - I feel like this boils down to the common thing. that we're all told.

of like treat others like you wanna be treated. And I think some people really take that literally. Instead of like, treat people, like make others feel the way you want to feel. Instead they say, "I won't mind people filming me, "so I don't mind filming her. "And you shouldn't mind me filming you either.". It's like that motto has kind of been told the kids. as something that's supposed to be helpful. I think some people just really take that to heart. - I saw a really good rewrite of that motto. and it was treat others how they wanna be treated.

- Yeah. - And I think that's so much better. Like, just let other people outline their boundaries to you. and then you can be like, "Cool, I'm gonna respect that. "Here are mine.". Instead of just being like, "Well, I'd be cool with you recording me, "so I'm just gonna treat you how I wanna be treated.". - You mean treat people with respect? - No, that's crazy. - That's crazy. - [Shayne] No, that's a lot. (everyone laughs). That's all our stories. Who do we think was the biggest asshole out of all these? So we've got the-. - I already know. - The guy who made his ex homeless. We've got the lady who wore a wedding dress to a wedding.

- Kind of iconic. - [Shayne] We have the guy who opened up his relationship. and is mad his wife's not sleeping with women. - [Arasha] It's him. It's him. (Shayne laughs). - We have the lady who's snooping around way too much. - Ooh. - She's just annoying. - [Shayne] Yeah. Okay. - Oh, and the guy, oh, you said the homeless thing. And the guy taking photos of the woman. - Yeah. - I'm split between the guy that made his wife homeless. - [Shayne] Yeah. - And the guy that wanted to open his relationship.

to meet his needs and then when his wife's needs. started getting met he got pissed off. - Yeah, it is a tie between them. I would say, I'm gonna go with the house. because I feel like more damage was done there. But I don't know. That's tough. - That's fair. - It's hard to know. - That's relationship versus financial. 'cause I feel like that relationship one is just gonna end. Like, I think she's probably about-. - And it does feel like she might already have other guys. that are gonna treat her well lined up. - It seems like it worked out for her, whereas the house one, she got really screwed over. Now she doesn't have a house, and the kids are low contact.

- [Anthony] Yeah. - It's impossible to compare these. - [Arasha] Yeah. - It's ultimately like, in the comments, let us know your vote. - Yeah, I just didn't like the language. around the whole opening of the relationship. - [Shayne] A lot of it comes down to the writing. - The writing. The way that he was just like, "She has everything to offer.". Like, that really just didn't sit right with any of us. - The way it was written. Exactly. The tone. The way this guy thinks about himself and his wife. and his place in the marriage, I think that wins the biggest asshole. just in the terms of the way he's going about it. - Oh, and the girl who made the TikTok too.

about not wanting to go on the date. Did we mention her too? - Right. No. - She was also a jerk. - That girl sucks. But I don't think that she's anywhere near-. - She's not the devil. - Of the same caliber. Yeah. - Yeah. - Well, let us know your opinions. down in the comments below, and we will see you next Saturday. for a massive Reddit story compilation. It's gonna be all of our favorite stories. from this whole series frankly. And it's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be cozy. - [Arasha] It'll be 2024!

- [Kiana] How cozy, Shayne? - It's gonna be unbelievably cozy. A long cozy, a long cozy stream. - And you're recording new bits for it? - I filmed a bunch of interstitials. - [Arasha] Oh wow. - It's gonna be a long video. Like, these interstitials are gonna come around. like every hour. And I get cozier and cozier as it goes. It's great. So check that out. And thank you both for being here. - Thank you. - Oh yeah.

- [Shayne] Hey, man, 2024 is gonna be pretty cool. - It's gonna be big. - I'm getting nice and settled in with Smosh in 2024. - [Shayne] Wow. - Things are gonna get even better. - Unless you have to delete the video because-. - True. - I don't wanna be on it. - Yeah, you decided last minute you don't want to. - Yeah, I don't wanna. I'm a private person. (everyone laughs). - I'm like, it was just for me for my own private video. - Okay, well then that's fine. - I'm just having our team edit it just for me. - Okay, that's fine. - All right, well, guys, we'll see you next year. Bye!

- Oh. (Shayne blows noisemaker).