The Methods Victor Marx Used to Overcome His Terrifying Childhood | SRS #83

previously on the Sha Ryan show my. stepfather used to hold my mom at. gunpoint he' just sit in a chair and. he'd hold a pistol at. her and get her to say things that. weren't true get her to announce God all. evil my stepfather was in Counter. Intelligence in the Army I never forget. the first time someone asked me after. doing the gun disarm what motivated you. to get that that.

fast the long you see me. move I'll never forget I'll never forget. my my brain saying one day one day I'll. will be so fast no one will ever be able. to hold a gun to me kids who are born in. the. Fire won't be burned by The Heat Of Life. the other thing I would tell adult.

survivors is you know don't lose hope. I've worked with so many men who are. just like I couldn't stop it the best. weapon I've ever used for my soul is. forgiveness that. is maybe the most powerful thing I've. heard in this. room all right Victor we're back from. the break that was a super heavy segment. previous to this and uh we kind of ended. on talking about forgiveness one thing.

that we didn't touch on is. how you got yourself out of there as a. child yeah it was. uh well the night we left um the. pedophile stepfather was a night that he. came home drunk which. was you know there's two types of drunks. there's a happy jial drunk and then. there's the mean one and he definitely. was a mean one.

so he came home drunk and. he's yelling and. screaming at my mom and it was based on. the electric. bill that's that what's that's what he. was using that night and why is. electricity bill so. high and all that then he he ended up. pulling out his gun and walking around. the outside of the house shooting all of.

our spotlights out in the corners of the. house boom he's shooting them and I mean. even me as a kid you know of course. we're freaking out but I'm thinking why. in the world you can just turn the. lights off how does that even make. sense but when he starts shooting. everything and yelling and he's walking. around the house my my mother grabs us. and the kids who were there we ran into. the back room.

and then ran into a closet like we're. hiding and my mother kept the door open. to the room to try to throw him. off and um but when he came in the house. and we're all you know and our doors. cracked so we can see and you know just. intense gosh it was intense and he. started saying where are. y'all where are you you better come out. and that was like a horror movie right.

there and he got to the door of the. room and I mean we were I mean we're all. we're all just trying not to make a. sound we're terrified cuz all I could. kept thinking about us him walking into. there and just shooting Us in the. closet and and my mom was worried for. that as. well but she uh we she started praying. and you know she started praying to.

Jesus quietly you know like calling out. to the Lord and I mean look I was like 9. years old or something I'm thinking. Jesus we the Jesus I know from Sunday. school he's a really nice one you know. he's breaking. bread handing fish out he's he's on the. felt board Jesus he's going up to heaven. he doesn't really look masculine or. capable just loving and I'm like ah we.

we we need a different type of we need. like a ramble Jesus right now I mean. it's like we need someone who. can flex and get something done and then. my mother started praying this the blood. of Jesus covers the door the blood of. Jesus covers the door and again I'm. thinking W what's that going to do what. happened next made me really understand. that Jesus was.

alive and that his blood there was. something powerful about it cuz with a. drunk stepfather at the door to the room. holding the pistol looking in and seeing. the closet door he you know uh and he's. he's looking at the angle but he hasn't. come in and he said come out or I'm. coming. in and my mother's just pray the blood. Jesus go the door cuz we we had no other. options there A lot of times in life.

when you have nothing else but Jesus you. go to him real. quick and my stepfather couldn't enter. the. room something physically restrained him. from Crossing into an Open Door a. barrier and he was he was so mad he. couldn't get through and he's growling. he's like. a and and I remember just go what what's.

happening that was like my. first again this is the guy that abused. me and was crazy and help my. mom you know with a gun and hurt my. sister and rape and all this and all. said he can't get in the. room I'm thinking what what is this. about but I knew Jesus had to be real. cuz nothing else would stop him and he. left he went and lay.

down and um my mother were waiting were. waiting from the pass. out and and we didn't want to run down. the hall because his bedroom their. bedroom was right on the other side so. my mother opened this window in the room. and it was small and she starts pushing. us. through and all she said was run just to. start.

running and. um these were this was a nice area at. the time um nice. homes nice land and we're just running. we're just running. through um this. dark woods area trying to get to a. neighbor's house and I mean I can. remember there was so much fear cuz you. just you could imagine him just coming.

out and running after you like a. monster and then before my mom could get. out the telephone rings and we had one. phone in the house for us the family was. in the kitchen the kind of hung up with. the the long cord and my mother was. scared for my sister to come home cuz. she's like once we leave we if if any of. the kids come home like my sister or.

brother he he might kill them so as. we're launched out it's little they. running the phone. rings she's hoping he's passed out my. mom tippy toes down the hall into the. kitchen answerers the phone she goes. don't come home don't come home it's. like she just needs to say a few things. and run out the. door she and that's what she. hears.

come into the room it was my. stepfather that's how he pulled her out. of the room cuz back in the. day old phones you could dial a number. hang up and it would automatically call. your phone ring that's how he pulled her. out so she she thinks she's talking to. one of the kids real quick and then she. hears this pretty evil. voice and she had real presence of mine.

she said okay I'll be right there she. goes I just need to use a restroom. first and she puts the phone down. doesn't hang it up puts it. down and runs out the front. door the the side door out of the garage. runs around ends up finding us and we. end up going couple of houses down. across the street and it was a it's it. was a Christian. family and uh we felt safe and um they.

end up calling the police and we we. never went back for you know uh like. they got them out I um we end up moving. to a different. city and I actually I never went back to. that house. um until gosh like 30 years. later and when I went back it was that.

time I was traveling. through and I went to that house. after uh actually it was before I met. with. him. and and it was like again I felt like. the Lord said go to go to the house you. lived in and then I was I mean I that. was more terrifying to me than meeting. with him because it was like first. encounter and oh my gosh not that house.

and I didn't it was weird my mind I was. just thinking oh my gosh just it's got. to be monsters in there or something I. mean I'm full grown man thinking I don't. want to go to the house but I did I. trusted God obeyed him knocked on the. door I remember stepping back I didn't. have a gun or anything I was like I. don't know what's going to come out of. this house the door opens it's an. elderly lady.

like gray. hair you. know definitely 70s maybe close to 80. just uh I'm like whoa hi she goes can I. help. you I said um yes ma'am I I'm not a. Salesman I cuz I was dressed in a suit. and I'm like I said I'm I actually work. for Ministry and and I said this is.

going to sound odd but I said I used to. live. here she goes you. did she goes who is your dad and I told. her she goes my. stepfather she said I bought this house. from. him and now we're just standing there. it's awkward and she. goes bad things happened here didn't. they.

son yes. ma'am see when I bought this. house she goes you know the neighbors. told. me what had happened in the abuse and. the evil said I'm sorry youall had to go. through. that man I me. too and. um she would you like come.

in I was like uh sure I walked in the. kitchen she goes wait right here I want. to show you something and again I could. just feel my anxiety just going up. like how do I get out of this house. quick she comes back and she said she's. holding something she. goes when y'all. left and I know y'all had to escape I. heard the story she goes y'all didn't.

take anything y'all just fled she goes I. bought the house and all y'all stuff was. here and she said we gave. away most of it to Goodwill and whatnot. and she goes but I kept I kept this. picture and She lays it down and it was. a picture of me and my brothers and. sisters 30 years she's kept the. picture. I said why she goes I pray for.

y'all all the. time said you you never even met us she. goes I know but God I had me pray for. you I've been praying for you all these. years I've never. stopped I said that's me right. there and I said I mean I was I couldn't. believe it never met this.

woman and here she's been Faithfully. praying I said well I remember saying. something to the fat love when I made it. I says I'm married. family and uh I'm in. Ministry Christian too and and then. she's like you I I can't thank you. enough for praying your prayers have. your prayers kept me alive through some. really hard difficult times in my life.

and then we're talking and and I said. you know we escaped through the back. room through a window we were hiding in. a closet I said do you do you mind if I. see it like I want to see if is it. really how my mind. remembers she said sure So she starts. walking down the hall and I can my. body's getting rigid like oh sh.

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in the description it'll take you right. there and if you don't want to and you. just want to continue to watch the show. that's fine too I appreciate it either. way love you all let's get back to the. show thank. you tenderly scbs my hand she walks me. back there and I walk in I'm like yeah. there's a closet and it was everything's. so much.

smaller cuz it's bigger when you're a. kid I'm like wow that is a small closet. and then the window I was like. wow that's where we. [Music]. escape so it was I told her I said manam. God kept you. alive I mean for me to come back and. thank. you and actually when we made the film. the documentary. uh we went back and interviewed her for.

it and she's in. it. and I think it was just a couple of. years after it was complete and she got. to see it she went to. heaven it's a really special part in the. film to see the power of prayer and the. faithfulness of people praying for you. when you don't even know. it. so. yeah my last time.

ever I have no desire to go back I yeah. punch that. ticket all. bad you. know it sounds like everybody around you. in your childhood had some type of. generational. trauma your stepfather I don't know if. he had generational trauma or if he was. just the way he he was but sounds like. your mother came.

from a long line of it sounds like your. father came from a long line of. it what can we talk about that yeah how. far back does it go on both. sides you. know it's it's hard to tell but I know. my mom's mother was divorced and married. I know my mother's dad didn't claim her.

early on as his own kid so she suffered. with that the pain of rejection which. again I think I think rejection is is. one of the mother loads uh. betrayal uh when you're betrayed by a a. family. member um with. incest or them selling you out or. allowing stuff to. happen um and it does it it I would say.

CU there times I pray for people and. they definitely have generational. trauma and it here's the great news it. can be. stopped how about your dad's side your. biological dad so my biological. dad uh he. his mom and dad didn't make it they were. divorced and and he he for a time period.

he was put in St John. Bosco's Home For Boys that's where he. learned how to box and fight. and um his dad my grandfather was a. professional prize. fighter and then a pro boxer fought. Madison Square. Gardens but he died in a mental. hospital because of a head trauma uh uh. he was in the Philippines during the war.

and he was giving kids food off of his. ship he was a Merchant Marine and shat. trol didn't want him doing it cuz they. claimed the kids could be bringing the. Japanese. and and and he was like well I'm not. throwing it out these kids are. starving so he he. directly didn't listen to him and. second or third time they came and they.

were going to arrest. him and he didn't he didn't take lightly. to that so when they tried to he knocked. a guy out again he had hands he was. a so he knocked he knocked the guy out. and knocked another one out and then. punch them jumped on him with clubs but. they they beat his head in to where they. they actually had to put a steel plate. in his head and back.

then we didn't have the technology or. the tools so I think he got a lot of. rust so he ended up um being placed. after the. war. um in um a mental hospital it's called L. Louisiana. State uh Pineville state. hospital. and I I looked up the record and end up. talking. to one nurse that was there when he was.

there cuz I think he died when he was. around. 40 uh but I talked to this elderly. lady um and she says oh I remember your. grandfather cuz he was a prize fighter. and then he was a boxer and she says he. was the nicest guy he was real calm and. very caring she said he could sure swap. a deck she goes you know that was his.

role he's moing she said one time and. people still talk about it he's mopping. the hallway and one of. the one of the inmates busted loose a. big guy and started attacking people and. um and he was running down the hall so. they start yelling from my grandfather. watch out watch out Mr marks they said. he's mopping he sees the guy and he.

pulls the mop to him and he gets as. close as he can to the wall to this gu. the. room and they said when the guy got. running fast right about here they said. your grandfather just did a hook punch W. and knocked him and his head hit the. ground and he slid on the wet floor they. said he just kept. mopping there never even thought of it. was a thing they were laughing they were.

able to get the dude in a straight. jacket and put him in a room but that's. the same. hospital my biological dad went. to your dad went to a mental hospital as. well same. [Music]. one when my mother left. him and um and it was horrible. circumstances and again I you know I. want to honor my mom so there's things I.

don't need to say but my dad yeah he got. put in the same mental hospital uh for. homicidal. Tendencies and you know a break in. reality or something so and then then. what I go. through I literally you know I remember. going oh my gosh is I mean is am I next. is this like a Time chair for our family.

cuz you do you do feel like that and you. hear these. Whispers hey your grandfather your dad. now you and there's always abuse and a. trauma associated with it and you know I. certainly I remember telling my wife. maybe I should just go when I started. becoming a little functioning and. struggling so maybe I should just you. shouldn't do turning just put me in a. place I'm causing you pain and you know.

I just I can't get a hold of this and my. wife is like no way no way and she's. like you need. help and uh cuz we've been separated. twice but my wife's you know we said we. will never get. divorced never that's the one thing no. matter how bad things got or I'm losing. touch with reality or struggling or.

dissociating or whatnot my wife she's. like hey I'm never going to divorce you. I'm going to stay with you she goes. because I know you love. God I know he has a bigger plan for your. life you don't even know of yet Victor. but you have his favor she would always. say you have God's favor Victor I'm like. what good is God's favor when I can't. even function. I'm having.

flashbacks so she stayed there were a. couple times she had to leave and I mean. one time I loaded her up in the car with. the kids I'm like I'm on meds I don't. even know what's going on I had pulled. out. a had a bad neighbor so i' pulled out a. weapon and I'm just tracking him through. his house I'm thinking man I could smoke. this dude and she's like you know that's. not normal I'm like I know. but again all these crazy.

thoughts. and I know this God made us to heal he. made the mind to heal and the power of. God can break. any any type. of dysfunctional or even. demonic you. know. Legacy from your past he can I'm. convinced of it I.

think a person has to be convinced of. it cuz the name of our organization is. With God all things are possible and it. takes faith it takes belief that the. word of God is truly holy scriptures and. then if you apply it to your brain and. that's been the key thing and this is. what I'm telling people. right. now these Sacred Scriptures have made.

the difference in my life one second. Timothy 17 which I signed on the board. and it's God has not given me a spirit. of fear but Power love and a sound mind. I've chanted that like a mantra tens of. thousands of. times just God's not giving me a spirit. of fear but Power love and a sound mind. have a sound mind Romans 122 don't be. conformed to this world any longer but.

be transformed by the renewing of your. mind that you may be able to prove what. is a perfect good acceptable will of God. it's scriptures like I can do all things. through Christ who strengthens me so. when people find themselves failing. struggling um in a cycle they don't want. to be they have to start to learn who. their identity is in Christ and what. weapons they can access first is the.

power another scripture says the same. power that raised Christ from the dead. raised Christ from the dead now dwells. in. me and do I believe it yeah did it take. me a while for my know to really know. yeah and that's what you have to stand. on or. else doctors will label you and you'll. never get Beyond a label people will. label. you and they'll speak negative thoughts.

on you people from your. past um it affect you I mean this is. funny to me but it's it's a good point. uh my fighting weight and adult weight. was always. 181 I'm 61 181 so it was always thinner. speed like that's what I wanted and I. started working out with a friend he was. on a TV series called uh American.

Gladiators and his name is Darren MCB. but Malibu was his actor's name he's the. blonde guy and we working out I never. forget he goes Victor you can be. bigger I was like uh not really this is. me man I'm I'm I'm. 45 I'm pretty much he goes no you can. change your body structure you can be. stronger you can be bigger he goes uh I. said well I don't want to lose my speed.

that's my that's my that's my thing he. goes you. won't and then he's like he keeps. speaking this into me and then he. actually like drew a picture or a. painting that was kind of awkward where. it's yeah it's me without a shirt doing. a flying kick and I kind of sparkles I'm. like okay it's kind of odd he's like I. go I don't look like this D and he goes. I know but you can and he's just just. you know you can I'm like okay well.

guess what I start working out I get uh. I change some approaches to protein I. check my testosterone level and then you. know over probably three to 3 years four. years you know I'm I'm I get up to 215. at 11% body fat and I didn't lose my. speed I'm like goodness. night but but here's the deal I remember.

as a. kid a relative saying oh he's pathetic. he'll always be scrawny he'll never do. and that like imprint in my mind she. wasn't even speaking it to me she was. saying to someone else but I heard it. and all a sudden that was an imprint. into my. soul and uh so again I mean that's one. example Le but yeah I don't have to be. an alcoholic I don't have to be addicted.

to drugs I do not have to be a Serial. you know person that gets married again. and again or cheat on my wife and in. order to break that stuff that. generational stuff you have to decide do. you want to follow God's way or do you. want to follow your family's way that. that's so important because uh my. brother or my Brothers when I met Eileen.

and we got. engaged um he's like I never forget he. goes so man how is she I said how is she. what he goes you know how is she in bed. I said look Mike you you know I'm a new. Christian so is she I said uh we're. trying to do a God's way and God's way. is like you know we've had relationships. we've done it the world's way and other. things you know we're we're although you.

you think you're full grown but you're. you know 22 it's like you're a kid but I. said we're going to do it God's way this. way and he's like what and he says are. you telling me you're not going to have. sex with her until after you're. married I said yeah that's what I'm. telling you that's what the Bible says. and I never forget he goes hey man all. right little brother come here he goes I. know you in this Jesus thing good for. you good everybody needs a little bit of. Jesus and. he goes you can't marry a woman without.

like testing to see if y'all are. sexually. compatible and actually I mean Sean at. that moment I was like oh maybe he has a. point what if we get married it's like. oh I don't even does it even and then I. was like Lord I'm new to this and I'm. trying to follow you your Bible says. it's fornication or adulter where. supposed to wait so he kind of has a. point what if something got and then and.

then my brother's kind of looking at me. like what you going to say you know I'm. giving you wisdom but it was worldly. wisdom according to my family's treat. right God gave me the perfect thing I'll. never forget I look at him I said. brother cuz he's a car. collector and he's got some cars he's. got the. elanar he's got I mean he's he's got. cars I said you like Ferrari right he. goes of course I said so if we went.

right down here to the for dealership. they let you walk in the showroom floor. and you could pick out any car you. want and they'd give it to. you they give you the key and the title. it's your signed over the only deal is. you you can't test drive it you just. have to leave with it I said would you. take it he goes yeah of course I don't. need test drive it I'm like I don't need. a test drive my fiance either she's a.

Ferrari and I said I'm going to do it. God's way I got 35 years married now. never cheated or been cheated on and uh. for people who who don't wait all I say. is that's one way to do it but the best. way the best way especially when you. want to practice and know you won't. cheat on your spouse is is uh well don't. don't cheat. before wait so you have.

self-control and then when you're. married for people who been you know at. intimacy before they're married commit. to God ask for. forgiveness tell your bride hey I didn't. know better but I apologize had I known. better I would have waited cuz you're. worth waiting for something as simple as. that that's so sincere can do so much. for. relationship but yeah it's it's Renewing.

Your Mind and those times you can't. follow your family's pattern and. certainly you don't believe the whispers. in your ears of hey this is just hey you. can't and it's always you that's when. you know there's demonic Whispers coming. when it's they're saying you can't you. won't do you really that's a third. person that's a different party that's. not your mind oning a self.

assessment it's an interesting point you. know with everything you've been through. as a child and. and you know we haven't even gotten into. the Marine Corps or the martial arts. stuff yet but. um I mean when did. you when did. did God come into your.

life when did you accept when did you. seek yeah well I remember being 6 years. old in a church. service and they gave what's called an. altar call where the preacher says if. you want to give your life to Christ you. want to have the Assurance of Heaven um. come forward and I remember thinking. this as a six-year-old well I don't want. to go to hell he clearly explain what. that is uh Heaven sounds like the better.

choice I'll do that there a no-brainer. and I got up and walked down by myself. and the pastor like good for you young. man and uh he prayed for. me uh and I remember when he prayed for. me I had a very distinct vision and that. was Jesus at the top of a. pedestal and I was walking up the steps. to him and he reached out his hand and. and I remember the moment he grabbed my. hand I was out of the vision I mean it.

was so clear and and this is what I. know that's not the moment I actually. committed my life to Christ mhm it's the. moment Christ showed me I've got. you I've got you until the day you. do and it was actually in my time the. Marines I did a very short stint 3.

years uh my commander-in-chief was. Ronald. rigan and um I was a calm guy who then. became a shooter and I child on Western. Division matches um nothing was going on. much during that time period but I. remember I had this very distinct. feeling in my life and and I got heavily. involved in martial arts and. um you know as a young man you just want.

to test your metal like do I have what. it takes to be a man how far so joining. the Marines doing. that learning how to fight in a. completely different way um and then of. course chase women that's you know my my. recipe for manhood for my lineage was. you got to drink. fight and Chase skirt handle your liquor.

never step that back from a fight and. Chase skirt and that that's really what. I that's what a man is that I had been. taught here's the problem I started. meeting girls in the Marines who could. do the same thing and probably better. than me just as good as drinking they. get hold their own fighting and they get. a lot more women than me and I'm like. well that don't make her a. man there's something skewed about.

this and then I started feeling this. sense of emptiness like something's not. right um I became pretty. proficient uh in martial arts and I was. like man I I've p i mean I've checked. off all the list but something's. missing and then I get a. letter uh my biological. dad and.

um and this was it this was so bizarre. because what led up to that is I was out. partying on a New Year's Eve. night and uh I used to hit black clubs. dancing and joking all this stuff and uh. my my my friends in the Marine Corps one. was a black guy from Louisiana one was. was a Mexican from LA and one was part. native.

American uh and I mean we we it was just. funny our little. Bunch but I'm out partying and I. remember thinking this is. empty this is feudal and I was driving. back to Camp Pendleton from La my. buddies passed out and I you know got a. big stereo got the car and I'm twisting. through the dial and I come across a. preacher and the preacher's name was.

Greg. Lori um just an Evangelical type. preacher um and what he was saying made. sense and he wasn't screaming he was. just kind of talking what he was. saying it was truth that I need to hear. and I remember after listening to him I. would get up every morning and listen to. him when it was early morning for some. come up but I'd go sit in my car cuz I. was in the barracks and I'm like I don't.

want anybody know I'm list up preacher. and uh and then that radio station and. list to other guys teaching the word and. it was the word of God that started. renewing my mind making me go whoa just. like you made that post you said The. more I read the more I. understand and faith comes by hearing. and hearing by the word of God. so during this period of me just like.

privately. quietly you know reading the Bible or. listening trying to figure this out I. get this letter from my real. dad and we had been a strange forever. and um the times I'd seen him he was. just a nut job I mean he was a. practicing. warlock um then he tried Japanese. perfect Liberty religion and and Shino. and he he was a Seeker but he was a.

bouncer too and then he taught karate. Judo and. Jiu-Jitsu um and I just thought man you. what an odd. bird and I remember visiting with him. one time as a teenager and I went to. work with him it was a big country bar. and he was like in the movie roadh house. mhm the the cooler that's who my dad was. so he was older he was experienced and.

he would train younger bouncers and and. I never forget I was in there this was. like me trying to like getting to know. my biological dad cuz you're like what. do he likeing and a group of guys come. to this big country club bar Cowboys and. they walking the guy somebody points in. our Direction they come over my dad's. sitting on a bar stool this guy walks up. the leader of the bunch walks up the my. dadd he goes so you the. bouncer he goes uh I consider myself a.

public relations officer young man how. can I help you he goes well me and my. buddies are going to have a good time. ain't a damn thing you're going to do. about it and if you think you are we. might as well test this out right now. and I'm standing back going oh here we. go and funnyest thing my dad never got. off the bar St he just thumped the guy. right in his forehead just pop and it. called the guy off guard he backs up.

he's like stumbling he tries to catch. himself his foot hits a. chair and then he trips and his head. hits the corner of a table and he's not. completely out he's on the ground hats. he's like my dad never got off the bar. still and everybody's. like what the heck was that and my dad. said hey L you ladies to his friends now. he says gentlemen get your little lady. friend out of here here they picked him. up and went out we're driving back this.

is like one of my few times ever I was. like what was. that he go was an accident he goes I. just was going to aggravate them I knew. he'd punch me and I just bounce him off. he said but it worked out really. good I'm like it sure did and he's just. loaded with stories like that but here. he is while I'm he sends me a letter and. this letter he.

says Dear Son and I was like uh don't. call me son you got my mom pregnant and. you didn't even claim me as your kid you. said you know I was some Pimp's kid or. whatever and um and he goes I know you I. know I haven't been a good. dad and like yeah you're right and he. goes I. I know I've never been there for you and. then he goes I know you think I'm crazy.

I'm like given that's our lineage. crazyville and he goes this time I'm. crazy and I still have the letter on. this time I'm crazy for Jesus. Christ and that didn't excite me that. made me go oh great what's the angle now. mhm Jesus Christ and he just goes. look I'm just asking for a.

chance and and then the rest of the. letter was pretty compelling he seemed. genuine and sincere and he goes would. you come visit me just when you have. leave of absence come visit. me because I want to make some things up. to you so I. actually I got in trouble in the Marine. Corps uh having unauthorized weapons and. a EQ and liing to the officer in charge. of the day and he got cut from one of my.

sickles cuz he stuck his hand somewhere. and had a weapon back there and he pulls. it out and he's like you got nothing I'm. like well how did that get out there so. I get I get office hours I get you know. I got a stand trial for my nonsense but. they let me go visit my dad and they go. you better come back I said I'm not. going any W for this I'll just take my. lumps when I get back I visit my dad.

here's this guy thick neck huge forms. tatted up his nose stays flat he's had a. broke so many times even at surgery but. it didn't work he's like well hey I'm. glad you're here and son I said I just. let's not do the sun bit right now let's. just try to be men he says no good good. and uh and then through this time with. him he invited me to go to church June. 22nd.

1986 and he's like hey you want to go to. church with me I said not really I said. I've had my share of church he goes I'm. bringing some of the fellas and the. Fellas were guys from his stable of. Fighters and literally in the 80s you. know and he had been doing the martial. arts system was Punch Kick throw. choke uh so it was like MMA before was. popular and he goes well few of the guys. are going and I and they were knuckle.

draggers I was like they're going say. yeah I'll go and I never forget the. preacher talking good stuff and then the. people start worshiping like music and. and they were they were raising their. hands they were like all in to God and. I'm in my mind I'm like whoa I thought. Christian people I just didn't think.

tough men would do this they're really. they're into it like they they give. flying squirrel sack if anybody's. watching they're just worshiping God and. I was like and then I got to tell you I. had to do an honest assessment I was. like well I ain't a Christian like. them that's. weird and then I felt God's conviction. just a simple conviction that kind of.

shown me the sin the areas of my life I. messed up and yep no i' never abused a. kid never tortured anybody never did. that but if you look and compare your. life against the Ten. Commandments if you break any one of. those that's actually sin you're missing. the mark uh so disobedient to parents. liar adulterer. fornicator um putting anything above God. and that was the one that got me that.

was the one that really got me I was. like I know God you're not the most. important thing to me and then I felt. conviction I was like. wow that's him and then he showed me the. cross is. why the cross is for you your. forgiveness anything you've done. anything you could do that's why Jesus. died on the cross it is for you and. that's. when I I just I surrendered my life to.

the Lord and I I was not a crier that. that didn't that mechanism didn't work. for ever mhm and I started I call him. man tears you know I was like I was like. oh my gosh and I remember sitting in. church grabbing a Bible pulling it up. close to. me cuz I didn't want to I I was so. embarrassed I was like I don't want. anybody to see me crying and my tears my. tears were hitting the pages and.

crinkling them and when the guy said hey. if you need to get your business right. with God come forward and I did actually. literally just kind of ran forward knil. down and man I I could feel God's love. like feel it and I never felt his love. and I could feel the conviction of my. sin was happening at the same time and I. was like. I this shouldn't be happening what do I. need to do what do I need to do for.

repentance for my wrong and it was like. God saying. nothing Jesus did it all you just have. to accept it was there ever a point in. your life where you wondered. where where he was or why he allowed all. that to happen to you as a. kid and that's on is probably one of the. most important questions you could ask. me because it was such a pivotal point.

after I came to Faith that day years. later it was with a counselor who simply. asked me this Victor where was. God where was the. Lord and you were getting abused and I. said. hey you should just shut up he goes why. is that offensive I said look God. God always does what's right and he's. probably helping he goes but why wasn't.

he there for you and I remember it's I. had the same intensity and feeling of. that movie Goodwill Hunting when Robin. Willam is talking to the guy about his. abuse and he goes it's not your. fault I said don't mess with me he goes. it's you know it wasn't your fault and. he kept saying don't don't have to mess. with me don't because what victims. do especially when you're younger you.

build. these you you build these messages in. your mind to justify how and why. and and it's false cuz it's never your. fault and it's and the guilt and the. shame is never yours it's the. perpetrators and it was then. that I was challenged to just ask the. Lord where was.

he took me two years to do. it because I had. developed false. hope and some people are going to. understand this it's not a real hope. it's a false hope and I'd rather it be. false than ask the question and realize. he wasn't n there then my hope is it's. gone took me 2.

years when I was in a place where I was. ready to ask him it was just me and and. I said. Lord I need to know where were. you because all of my little well you're. helping kids in Africa you're helping. kids who really needed help I didn't. really need you. know I was done with that I was just. like. I just need to understand where where. were you what happened next was one of.

the most pivotal moments in my spiritual. life of learning truth replacing years. of Lies with the truth of where Jesus. was and when I asked him that all of a. sudden I was transported right back to. my stepfather's room and it was a. particular instance where where he was. beating me with his. belt and I could see it Sean I could see. the room I could see the carpet bathroom.

Windows closet the bed and then I see. myself laying on the bed cuz my. stepfather would make you get out of. your. pants and in your underwear those little. white BBD he'd make you lay and stretch. your arms out so your body then he'd. take his belt out wrap it couple of. times and then he would start to beat. you and I see all this and and I can.

feel the anxiety I'm seeing it and I'm. like oh gosh he has his beer in one hand. his belt in the other I'm like Lord. where I guess you just weren't there and. all of a sudden I literally see the Lord. Jesus. appear and he's right he's right there. next to my stepfather. and then in I.

mean instantly I start thinking touch. his heart kill. him make him die cuz I don't want to get. beat if that would have happened in my. vision it would have been. fake cuz he never died like. that and then my next feeling was oh my. gosh are you just going to watch him. beat me how. impotent of a God is that how sick.

you're just going to stand there and. watch this man beat the hell out of me. again and then what happened next it it. changed. everything he stepped in between me and. my. stepfather and he faced. me. and then he kneeled down and he put his. body over.

mine right before I got. hit and he took every. beating far and with. me he took it for and with me so that I. could. survive and there's a scripture that. says the Lord will never leave you nor. forsake you. and he proved it that's why I. survived I.

thought that's a. savior I can follow and. Trust cuz his love is. action and never again did I doubt he. wasn't there for. me and and I'll tell you it always. breaks God's heart when somebody's being. abused in any way. but what I learned is it's God doesn't. cause that to happen he gives the person.

a free will to do good or bad and when. this person does evil it's he just. allows the person or free. will and then in that Redemptive. unbelievable loving way he enters that. pain and he understands the. suffering and it breaks his heart but. he's ERS it with us every.

kid that's truth my. friend that's the truth that sets us. free he really does love. us I'm speechless right now I don't know. what to ask.

it's that that is one of my most. personal. private. spiritual moments that no one could ever. change my mind on it changed my. life and it was all based on that one. question and you asked it it's the right. question where was he he was right. they're with me and he's he's with. everyone doesn't matter who they are.

whether they follow him whether they not. cuz it's. humanity. and and that's what the battle is the. battle is good and evil against a. human Victor let's take a. break when we come back I want to dig. into what got you into saving children I. think it's pretty. self-explanatory but uh but I would like.

to talk about the journey that led you. into the. nonprofit. and all the stuff that you're doing uh. within it right now we love to. perfect.

[Music]. this is going to be your last interview. on madisha and what happened in small.

of what hurts me the. most about the trash. bags talking to one of the spouses whose. body parts were in that trash. bag and she can't use trash. bags this past weekend we all re acted. with anger and horror as an armed Somali. gang desecrated the bodies of our. American soldiers and displayed a captur.

at American. pilot remember getting nervous but still. like we're going to be home for dinner. right you know just joking around and. then another RPG and I remember looking. up and seeing it hit the helicopter the. tail of the helicopter you saw it head. yeah and it just started Auto rotating. I'm like oh man no no.

[Music]. all right Victor we're back from the. break we're getting ready to dig into. your nonprofit. yep but first you've mentioned your wife. a couple of times oh yeah how long have. you guys been married 35 years 35 years. yeah this year congratulations thank you. best accomplishment ever that is amazing.

so you and your wife founded founded. This Together correct yeah we did what. is the key what's the recipe for a. successful. marriage. one marry the right. person. two learn to forgive a. lot and.

three uh be intentional and grow in your. love and I think a lot of I think a a. lot I mean in essence our human nature. we're all selfish and marriage proves. that and then children help accentuate. that um you know. and and I I just. think if if people invest and are.

intentional in their. marriage and learning to work beyond. what they feel and I'll tell you a. little secret I've never said this. here's a little secret that I do over. the years when I just am not standing my. wife I'm like uh she aggravates me I. make myself think about what's true and. good and what I love about. her and I it's a mental discipline to go.

okay yeah uh right. now but what do I love about her what. not not our. current stat but right what I what and I. just start thinking about all the good. things all the good things and guess. what it changes your. mind and um and then you know it's it's. easy to forgive when when you know. you've been forgiven.

too thank you for sharing that thank you. for sharing that there's a lot of. there's a lot of broken homes out there. and I think there's more divorce than. successful marriages at this point in. time and so you know that's that's. important advice well we we have an. online course people can go to Victor. marks.com. /m marage it's an online course that. thousands of people go through and it. helps it's literally like just sitting.

down with me and my wife in our living. room and we we share ups and downs and. struggles but we share nuggets and. insights that people can apply. instantly well I bet you got a lot more. people coming to check that out here. soon but um let's move into the all. things possible Foundation yeah let's. just start at the beginning what what. was. the I mean it sounds like you guys do a. lot of things y I don't is the marriage.

stuff through the foundation as well it. it is but we didn't start doing that. till later so let's talk about. the just the the birth of the concept. the idea how did that come about well it. it. was I'll tell you. Sean because it's actually interesting. and funny and unexpected. um I got invited to speak you know our. background was martial arts and fitness. we lived in Hawaii for years raised our.

kids there um and at one point had the. largest facility martial arts school um. I mean it was interesting vtor bfor his. first fight outside of Brazil was in. Hawai and he came to our training center. him and his instructor uh before he. passed away and his mom and he trained. and worked out but it it's we got to a.

place to where we felt called to. Ministry um I I tried being a pastor and. it didn't work out um I was an assistant. pastor I try to be a senior pastor but. where I mean what I realized oh gosh is. Why didn't it work out you seem like the. perfect fit you come from you come from. a line of trauma yeah you've overcome so. much I think I think a lot more people. could relate to a man like you than the.

squeaky clean Pastor. who's who's never had a challenge in his. life you know what I mean there's this. is I'm just going to be honest that's. something that really drove me away from. God Christianity Jesus whatever you want. to call it is the the picture the. picture perfect snapshot Christian you. know extremely judgmental yep most of.

them haven't been through any sort of. trauma never deployed overseas no. childhood tra like everything I think a. lot of them have just been handed. everything yeah and and then they become. super judgmental and they judge. everybody who's going through some type. of a hardship because they don't deal. deal with it the way that that they. think. that that person should be dealing with. it yeah you know and it's I find it to.

be extremely. hypocritical. um zero. self-reflection it's all about them it's. not even about it's not even about. Christ it's not even about God it's what. makes me look good in front of my people. and church and um and that drove me away. for a long long time and it kept me away. even when I would start to you know. there have been times where I would. start to.

to to want to you know find faith and. then I would go that's what I saw and. then walk right back out the door you. know well I I think Western Christianity. uh many years ago got off course and it. became um it became a. machine and it it it lost lost the heart. of real Ministry and and that's to help. people not to become I mean literally.

pastors are just like anybody. else uh and especially when you start. building and growing it became a. business and Enterprise and they judged. their their outcomes were flawed based. on well how many people do I have how. much money are we bringing in that's. that's where they're I I think they get. off course it's like so are you not. successful if you have 40 people and. it's a country church or if you're.

Faithfully ministering to a 100 and you. go visit people who are in the hospital. and you marry people you're bearing. people that's I mean standardly that's. how been that's Christianity has been. but we got into this I think Western. mindset where well this is what it looks. like and then everybody's looking at. other other pastors and other churches. and my wife and I went to all she was at. a pastor's conference.

event I mean this was like gosh 25 30. years ago 30 years ago and and I she I. never forget she came home. disgusted I was like babe what's going. on she goes honey went to this thing and. it's supposed to be older Christian. pastors wives men string to younger and. she goes they had a coding system by. what color name badge you wore if you. were a senior pastor's wife or an.

assistant and they it was clickish they. actually. treated women different and she goes she. was like are you kidding me like no this. so the reason why you know and maybe I'm. a better fit now but back then um uh. back then a defining moment was I was on. staff at a church it was a a Calvary. Chapel uh which are popular churches and.

some pastors are amazing I mean I got a. friend in you know. uh you know who here in Tennesse amazing. they're doing it the right way right um. and then I've got uh he's in Chattanooga. and then I've got other guys I know I'm. like dude you should be out of the. ministry this is a. vocation and you're using this whole. platform and it's about you so so why I.

stepped. back many many years ago from that. forward- facing Church type atmospheres. they wanted me to counsel somebody and. um and I wasn't even married yet didn't. have counseling training and they were. like well you just you know so I try to. counsel a few people and then I I got a. phone call it was a guy that came in his.

his older daughter was in my little. youth group and he came in he goes man I. I just got an arguing with my wife and. he says I blew it Victor I messed up I. said like what he goes I cheated on. her I'm like well that's a that's a big. one that's one of the big ones right. there he goes could you please just help. help me get back with her he says I'm. repen of and I'll never do it again I'm. like I'll talk to her you know but.

that's that's a heavy order right there. cuz it's biblical if someone commits. adultery you have a Biblical precedent. to divorce them so I talked to her and. she's like well you know he's doing. drugs and uh I said what's up to you so. she opted to forgive him and be. reconciled so she let him back. in few months later he did it again. again and um he came in he was like oh. my gosh please and took a little longer.

I was like do you want to take so you. know some some. women they're they're messed up with. dysfunction too and they allow stuff to. happen and generational trauma. generational. trauma and um so she let him back. in it was a few months later I get a. phone call from her she says Victor. Victor I need your help so what's going.

on she goes you know my. husband um cheated again but he's high. on um I think he was smoking crack and. she goes he just freaked out when I. confronted him about it and he hit our. daughter their. toddler he he punts her into a wall full. on just go wow and he goes she says you. know busted the wall she said what do I.

do I said call on an ambulance and call. the police right away she goes okay I'm. just telling you in case he come STS I'm. like that idiot wouldn't come to church. at this point guess who comes walking. in this dude comes walking in this was a. defining moment of why I wasn't Church. material at the. time he sees me and then he keeps. walking he's going to find another. Pastor I do an intercept and said hey. man what's going on he goes oh you know.

things aren't great and I said well what. why don't you come back to my office so. we walked and I had there were many. pastors offices I was at the end cuz it. was a big church and when we walked in. my office I put him behind my desk and I. sat at the door and uh said tell me. what's going on oh man it's just you. know I'm and I said I know I got a call. from your wife cuz you did I said yeah. yeah you really have messed up had you. and he was definitely tweaking he was.

just and uh I said she said you hit your. daughter you're tolerant bounc off a. wall goes I don't know what happened man. I just lost my mind and then he goes and. he's like fake cry oh my gosh he goes he. goes I don't and he said these words he. goes I don't know what's wrong with me. maybe I should get. hit I thought I don't have a lot of.

skill sets I'm fresh out the Marine. Corps but I'm comfortable in Conflict. that's what I'm thinking so I go yeah I. think you should so I got up went over. there he said he like what are you doing. I said you just ask for it you're going. to get it swap them put them on the. ground start pounding this dude and he's. screaming I mean he is screaming the. door flies open and it's the the you. know number two pastors he's like what.

are you doing stop I'm like he it's okay. he said he should be hit so it's like. legal and he hit his toddler and the. guy's like vector police come out I come. out and the guy's like call the. police and the guy's like you can't hit. people when they come in I go he just. needs his butt whoop and then the police. need to come arrest him see he's he's a. complete Punk and it was pretty soon. after that I was asked to find a.

different approach to Ministry outside. of the church. walls I said okay I said I get. it and and then then you know God led us. on a whole journey where um our ministry. became us teaching and reaching out to. the public through martial arts big. schools and people were coming to Faith. and we would we had devotions after. every class I it could be 60 people and. we're having devotion we're praying.

having live every class and people. started calling me their weekday. Pastor they go you've really become like. how we apply this stuff because y'all. just talk normal and I'm like well we're. just just trying to walk in our lane or. run in. it but then when it came time um a. defining moment that said I think we're. going to start this ministry I I was my. gosh I was.

40 and down the. road uh business and. life um yeah I just before 40 and it. ended up being I was asked to go to a. youth prison and share my. testimony and. um I had worked for Dr Dobson and. somebody had heard me share a little bit. and they're like would you come to youth. prison I was. like why do I need to go they said your.

story could really help them so I prayed. about it I said yeah and I said who's. going to be there they said it's 75 kids. locked up it's a it's. a full high security facility um guards. and all kind like oh man I start getting. a little nervous I'm like I don't I. don't know what to see and he goes why. don't you do a little martial arts. demonstration you're I go I can do that.

so we go they bring these kids in this. gym they're all sitting there looking at. me and they really are going what what. in the world you going to talk to us. about and so I decided to do a little. demonstration with a pair of. nunchucks and have a guy hold pencils in. his hands and one in his mouth and I was. nursing a shoulder injury so I probably. shouldn't have done it it but I knocked. the pencils out of his hand when I went. for his mouth I missed and I split his. chin open and this is what's crazy is.

all those kids were looking at me like. this you know and when I hit that guy. and split him he starts bleeding they. were all like. this this guy ain't playing around this. his preacher he is he a preacher or who. what is and then I had their attention. cuz they were like this is. weird and he's violent but they can. relate to it and then I do a hit where I. can hit a person you know eight points.

of contact in a little over a second and. and of course the gun is Storm I had all. their attention and I shared my story 56. of the. 75 gave their life to Christ that day. and it was so odd and I couldn't believe. it so many responded I told him sit down. I got to ask again do you understand. this coming to faith in Christ you get. forgiven but you're surrendering and.

you're you're being tensional about. following him if that's you stand up 50. I think it was 56 stood up I was just. like the warden comes over to me and he. goes I've been praying that someone. would be able to touch these kids he. says it's. you and I remember being. stunned and there were some to follow up. weekly with these kids so they would. grow in their faith that's who had. invited me in but I end up going home.

and going researching how many youth. prisons are there in the US I didn't. even know and it just oh my gosh it was. unbelievable and back then On Any Given. night there was 175 to 200,000 kids were. locked up or under some type of you know. legal thing and I'm like who's reaching. them and I looked and I was like. whoa nobody's reaching. them very tiny percent because of the.

western church they're The. Misfits there's no benefit to trying to. win them for Christ outside of maybe. crime reduction but they can't do. anything for the church they're a hard. group I said well that's perfect cuz I. like going after those who others won't. and that's when I told my wife I think I. think we're supposed to reach these kids. she's like then let's do it and we did.

that was we're celebrating 20 years this. year man that's how it started that's. awesome but it grew yeah my C that it. grew I mean you guys are saving kids all. over the world. now next on the Sha Ryan. show how did it come from being. a Ministry for kids in prison to going. overseas in Iraq Syria wherever you go.

over 100 Missions complete uh would. trauma care help over 45,000 women and. children wow yeah wow and right into. Isis confinement. camps what kind of stuff is happening. with these kids everything from they. hiding with their parents and their. parents are murdered. to um they've been. abducted by.

ISIS bad things. happen hey everybody I'm Shawn Ryan. click here to subscribe to the Shawn. Ryan Show YouTube channel for the. hottest and most compelling interviews. that you will not see anywhere else I've. also made made a playlist of all the. previous SRS episodes so they're easy to. find you can find that right.

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