Struggle Jennings | SRS #039
hey everybody this next one is super. important this is about a guy that. literally came from nothing and built. himself an Empire this is important [ __ ]. because there are so many people in the. US today that feel that they don't have. a chance or they're getting cheated and. they can't make anything of themselves. that's complete [ __ ] and this is. proof everybody has to start somewhere. generally it works out better if you. start from the bottom love you guys.
thank you for always being here and. supporting. me enjoy the. show I'd been in another shootout where. I had actually hit somebody where'd you. hit him uh shoulder leg the whale. getting crazy baby chill don't medicate. just meditate you waking up now baby you. hella late Ed.
look at what's going on let it resonate. accelerate find you in a hunger like you. never ate agenda is to push the hate. separate and segregate don't Cate quite. yet the storm is coming to For Heaven's. Sake and I hear my mom crying in there. and a few minutes later cars just start. pulling into the. driveway and they come in family comes. in they sit me down they're like your. dad's no longer with. us fear and force forcing us to sit and. wait till we come together congregate. and then we liberate praying that you.
give me strength to find some love. amongst the hate Maring on the streets. of blood we're getting into the biggest. cocaine bust in Nashville history which. was maybe still to this day all year. we're talking about a special delivery. of of cocaine all meant for sale on the. streets but a tip LED investigators to. the situation the bust happened here in. Nashville metrop PD and DEA agents. following. these the devil wa too. long I know it's fun but again get ready.
to pay your. dues oh God come back. home this crazy world. is. AB they put a million dollars behind. this guy's album we done put a dollar. that means the people are speaking so we. released it next thing you. know right back to the top I'm like what. is going on every viral video digested.
suspected something's going on but chose. to just neglect it deflected by 10. people hear it and it brings them closer. to God and makes them stronger and makes. them rally up and [ __ ] feel strength. right now in this time of uh where a lot. of people are feeling weak and. vulnerable and Afraid and fearful if. this gives just a handful of people a. little bit more oomph and their [ __ ]. fight then I'm happy. [Music].
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show man thank you for having me brother. so honored right back at you so just a. brief introduction you grew up in a. low-income family your grandpa was whan. Jennings your dad died when you were 10. years old you're a former gang member. and drug dealer in fact you were the. biggest cocaine bust in Nashville still. to this date I believe maybe so maybe so. yeah I I haven't kept up with it in a.
while but right on you're a rapper a. father of seven you own your own record. label with artists underneath you you. show a lot of patriotism for the United. States of America and God we need you. now was number one in the charts for how. many multiple weeks um weeks and AOW I. Tunes. months. um billboard two weeks two weeks two.
weeks in a row I think it actually hit. number one maybe three or four times but. number one for two weeks in a row uh. even the week that Drake released his. album which had millions of dollars of. promotion behind it at one point I was. number one and he was number two through. 20 damn on songs were you expecting that. to happen absolutely not no no not we. had actually dropped the song nine. months before that happened and it had.
cool momentum a little bit of steam got. a bunch of views on YouTube and then it. started to die off and we started. working on we actually released another. song or two and then out of nowhere I. get a call like hey man your number. [ __ ] one on iTunes right now and I. was like get out of here and they're. like no for real like the song is number. one and uh number one on itun out of all. the out of everything everything all.
genres damn. independent no we didn't put a dollar. behind it marketing wise it was. literally song from the heart and the. people speaking up that's incredible. yeah it uh caught. wind like all the videos of you know all. the it kept recycling because of all the. issues that were going on in the world. you know back to back to back and it.
would just. continuously this is yeah have to cut. this. off bab if anybody calls you just let. them know that I completely cut my phone. off um yeah so it just it kept cycling. because these new issues were happening. and people were using it as their. battlecry and behind all the videos you. could hear guys we need you now every.
time and. uh it was surreal you Dam so. many Monumental like videos that went. viral and that's cool but it's the. meaning behind the videos you know. seeing just the destruction or or the. pleads of you know people putting these. videos together and the flags flying and. my song behind it was just a a whole. different anim.
damn that's cool there just got to be so. much satisfaction and. and in multiple different areas where. where it's not just success as a as a. musician but it's also the message. behind it the people rallying and the. time what what that was 2020 20 2020. 2021 is when we hit number one yeah we. released it in 2020 and hit hit number. one in 2021.
damn and yeah the timing you know when. that came out I remember it was just it. was perfect well I guess it it had been. out but it just caught a wave and took. off yeah we released in 2020 you know. when everybody was fighting you know to. to gain some kind of ground and then. 2021 you know. with them pulling. out and everything going crazy um in the.
Middle East and then then with the. Canadian truckers again it shot up um so. it just you know every time that. something big would happen people were. just gravitating towards that song and. uh watching something that you put out. and you. create you never know how people are. going to latch on to it you know is just. going to fly over their head because. this is this is from my heart this is. from um an idea that I have or a feeling.
or an emotion that I have and you never. know how that's going to translate with. fans yeah so when it does and then it. does it in that much of a meaningful. manner you're just like you know it. feels good the satisfaction like you. said the. satisfaction and being able to be a part. of History like that yeah is the best. Accolade Beyond any kind of award that I. got hanging on my wall or you know any. amount of money that I make off of it.
those are the moments that you you feel. like you did something great yeah well. we'll get into that more towards the end. of the interview. everybody gets a gift oh. wow so I see all. these cool knives on your wall and I was. like man I should have brought him some. I got a really nice collection I. actually just got this one um it's. Montana a Knife Company nice have you.
seen them yet yeah uh Seth fochi I just. went and spent some time with him. trained with him um you familiar with. him I'm not ax and sledge and American. rough neck. um he's a. bodybuilder just. a tough. Pitsburg a man's man you know uh a. bodybuilder.
and now he's owns probably the fastest. growing definitely my favorite. supplement company called ax and. sledge oh wow there you go we were just. talking about sugar so yes you know I'll. get you some more of those for your for. your family. amazing I can only fit somebody in a box. gummy. bears my. favorite that's that's my thing too I. love uh like.
Fruity that's my thing like over. chocolate and [ __ ] it's like cool. dude my biggest vices are literally. fruit snacks and uh peanut butter and. jelly. nice and they told me I could lose. weight and stay [ __ ] strong eating. peanut butter and jelly that's all I. eat let's get into your background in in. your childhood I did some research on.
you and that was just a fascinating uh. piece of content that I consumed uh talk. about your backstory and your upbringing. and and how you got to where you're at. today so I know you grew up here in. Franklin yeah how was that yeah no it. was it was great you know the. first first 10 years of my. life. uh looking back was completely different. than the next 30 but it set a SE it.
planted a. seed and there was a purpose for every. you know every phase of my life there's. definitely been a purpose as I go back. and analyze. it um which I try to do all the time you. know to know where I want to go where. I've been remember where I've been. without losing sight of where I'm headed. knowing I don't want to go back to where. I've been you know so trying to make the.
right decisions and moves throughout my. life to continually progress is. definitely important so I I analyze it a. lot um first 10 years of my life uh my. mom and my mom had me at 16 she was the. daughter of Wayan Jennings and Jesse. cter um actually Dwayne Eddie was her. biological father and uh he was married. to my grandmother Jesse couter and then. whan and Jesse were put in the studio.
together to the same record label and. ran off in the sunset together so my Mom. was adopted by whan at a early age and. um was like her. father uh my grandfather Dwayne Eddie. who's a famous guitar player and. musician he's in Rock and Roll Hall of. Fame uh he actually still lives here in. Franklin oh really yeah so are you guys. tied uh you know I grew up he was my. grand father loved him loved my.
step-grandmother his wife. deed um super close growing up life kind. of pulled us in different directions um. still I just talked to him recently just. reached out to me he reached out to me. while I was in prison and I wrote him. you know a long letter back and love him. to death he was definitely a a great. inspiration in my life. um you know how is just some family you.
uh see eye to eye with and some you. don't you know and we had a few issues. not me and him particularly but. um they just kind of s you know put that. a little bit of wedge between us but you. know I love him more than anything and. um been trying to see him since I've. been home but he's been battling with uh. he had a couple strokes and you know. dealt with a lot of health issues so. they've been kind of being careful about.
who I was around them. so and I travel a lot and you know some. people just some. people you know they're a little bit. more fearful different times now yeah. different times now and I'm I'm not like. I'll walk up to anybody in a room of a. thousand and shake your hand look you in. the eye you know um. but. so let's see where we at um growing up.
growing up here in Franklin my mom and. my dad she was. 16 uh he was 18 they met at the skating. rink my dad was an Old West. Nashville bad boy good old boy you know. um drove fast cars he was the type of. guy that would buy stolen guns from his. friends that were thieves and sell them. to his cop buddies you know he was just. one of those like everybody loved him. give you the shirt off his back um come.
home 2 hours late from work soaking wet. where you pulled over on the side of the. interstate to help somebody change a. tire you know just one of those guys and. uh but he you know he was wild Old West. Nashville born in severe. poverty uh big. family. um so him and my mother met at the. skating rink she was going to a private. school some friends and to got to come. to West Nashville to the big skating.
rank he was the king of the skating rank. you know in high school so they met had. me they lasted about four years uh my. grandfather whan had bought them a house. here in Franklin to live and to have you. know a. place so I guess I was about 4 when they. split up so then my mom was just a. single. mom uh she sang backup for whan and. was went through a couple really abusive.
relationships she was married for two. years to a guy that you know just beat. the hell out of her all the time and. finally that came to an end did you see. all that yeah I saw it uh you know I. heard it more than I saw it there's a. couple. times that I can vividly remember you. know seeing him there's one time in. particular she had been traveling. singing back up for my grandfather and. and I came home from school and saw a.
car in the driveway so I like Rush up to. the house ride my bike get to the. house and front door's locked I run. around the back and when I look through. the back window trying to get through. the sliding glass door he's just in. there beating the [ __ ] out of her and I. ran next door called my dad and uh so. that's one moment that I can really. remember like vividly watching her beat. the hell out of her.
watching him beat the hell out of her. and so like you know I I beat it into my. boys now like you never put your hands. on a woman uh one of the last things. that I can remember my dad really. telling me was that is your job on the. face of this planet is to care love. protect the women in your life y they're. the givers of Life they're the ones that. birth children like they are the. superior that your job to just be the.
guy that works his ass off protects her. and make sure that she's got everything. she needs so and then being raised by a. single mother of course my grandmother. Jesse's you know she's my rock so I was. raised by a lot of. women. uh so you know she went through some. abusive. relationships how' she get out of them. well she finally I I remember there was. a Tipping Point uh my dad beat the hell.
out of him um my grandfather came over. there my grandfather whan came over. there and kicked him out told him don't. come. back um and there was a few of those. tipping points until it finally was like. he was just gone you know I was nine I. think and uh she finally got out of that. relationship um shortly after uh I was. outside playing actually Devin's house I.
was outside playing football with a. bunch of friends and my mom calls me. where yells out the door hey your dad's. on the phone and I was like well tell. them I'll be back I'll call them when I. get back in. um and when I come home that night from. playing. football never for I remember like it. was yesterday I came in sat down had a. friend of mine that had been playing. football with me came in the living room. we turned on Roseanne TV show and I hear. my mom crying in there and so I go and I.
listen and she's balling crying so I. tell my friend I had an aunt that had. cancer at the time I told my friend I. was like hey I think you need to go home. I think my aunt died you know she's got. cancer. and few minutes later cars just start. pulling into the. driveway and they come in family comes. in they sit me down they're like your. dad's no longer with us all right. so they had told me that it was a.
suicide I lived with that that regret. and that. um that feeling. of you know that pain of what if I would. have answered that phone cuz they told. me it was a suicide what if I would have. answered that phone would things be. different would my dad still be. here uh how long did you struggle with. that my entire. childhood and teens to the point where I.
was suicidal damn most of my life you. know my dad killed himself I was going. to go out the same way every time I you. know hit a big roadblock in my life. which we'll talk about a bunch of those. uh first thing I would do is you know. put a gun to my head you know and uh I. actually even pulled the trigger before. and misfired. so um. I actually one time was sitting in a.
hotel room ready to blow my brains out. and the people at the hotel are beating. on the door because I'm in there 6 hours. past I'm supposed to be in there I don't. have the money to get the hotel room. again [ __ ] uh same day I found out that. I had my first daughter was about to be. born damn so definitely a huge turn in. my. life. uh crazy part of about that was you I.
struggled with it until my uncle my. uncle Tad pole who's my dad's brother he. got custody of me when I was 15 my mom. just couldn't control me. anymore and um you know I was running. around I was uh gang member you know out. breaking in the cars selling weed you. know doing everything that you that a. teenager you know living that life does. but but uh my uncle Tapo finally when I.
was 18 looked at me and said you know. your dad didn't commit. suicide I was like what do you mean he. didn't commit suicide he's like he. didn't kill himself boy he was like the. autopsy came back there was no possible. way he killed himself the angle of the. gun there was no way that it actually. that was you know the reason his. death and I was like so you're telling. me somebody killed my dad and he was. like yeah and I was like why would you.
let me live all those years with that. regret of feeling like I could have done. something different and my father still. be here and he said son I would rather. you live with regret than. revenge so I'm 10 years old dad's. gone uh my grandpa's whing Jennings so. he literally walks into the school and. goes hey just let y'all know he's not. going to be here for the rest of the. year his dad passed see you next year.
you know no I didn't have to do any. school workor I didn't have to pass the. fifth grade I just see you next year you. know. um and I was I was I went over there for. a few weeks to Wayland stayed there he. lived right here in. Brentwood stayed there you know he take. me and my uncle shooter who's just a. year older than me take us Toys our R Us. and you know we had all the laser tag. and all the you know cool.
stuff and uh then going back. home I didn't have to go to school so. I'm riding around the neighborhood on my. bike the only people that aren't in. school are the high school kids. skipping well they can't leave their. house. so because they'll get caught for. truancy if they get caught out walking. around I got the free pass so so I ended. up becoming the neighborhood.
Courier right I'm the guy that you know. you got these kids that are huffing. Scotch Guard in high school they'd send. me to Kroger with $5 to go get them two. cans of Scotch Guard or whatever it was. you know or you got hey we you go pick. up this bag of weed from this guy you. know on the other side of the. neighborhood cuz they can't you know. they didn't have cars and you know so. and I've got this free pass so I'm just. doing whatever the high school kids want. me to do kind of running around the.
neighborhood and uh didn't realize that. that was the start of a. long uh career in trafficking damn so. that was that was a 10 years old did you. even know what you were I had no clue I. mean just whatever the cool kid said. literally just the messenger just yeah. just riding back and forth you know. um and so you know that that went on for. a little while whan uh that next next. year sixth grade put me in BGA.
Battleground Academy here in Franklin. footed the bill and um for me to go to. BGA and it's like suit and tie private. school um I made it about three qus of. the year and then some guys tried to. jump me and a. friend uh older kids tried to jump me in. a friend in the basement of the uh. gymnasium and we fought back as well as.
we could I picked up a fire hydrant and. Swinging the fire hydron at the guys. that were trying to you know they were. just bullying us picking on us cuz we. were younger and then I sprayed them. with the fire hydrant we ran well I get. expelled because of hitting one of them. with the fire hydrant and spraying the. fire hydrant and they're like you know. football team high schoolers or you know. middle schoolers of course they took. their work over. ours and um so I get kicked out uh my.
mother. decides that she's going to get into. another. relationship just got out of that. terrible divorce my dad just died here. she is jumping into another relationship. with a guy that she had met and my. grandpa Wham was like Jenny no like. stop take some time work on your career. my mom's got one of the most beautiful. voic voices and.
uh you know work on your. career leave these [ __ ] guys alone. and you know just F you know focus on. your son and your. career she didn't want to hear that you. know he said well how about this then. that guy's not moving into that house I. bought you know I'm not going to have no. freeloading Guy moving. in um cuz he was a musician also the guy. that she was. dating and so she moves this guy all the.
way from California to come be with her. and whan's like absolutely not and she's. like well you're not my father you know. and Wayan's been raising her since she. was a baby yeah so that of course you. know in turn my mom was like you know. what I want to do it on my own I'm going. to show you I don't need your money you. know I'm going go out here and get it on. my. own right into low inome housing damn so.
where I had had. this not picture perfect you know. because you know my father being. murdered um you. know running drugs and and stuff for all. the kids in the neighborhood like. definitely not picture perfect but a. very stable environment you know. um wasn't the worst worst childhood a. kid could have for sure. moving out to Nashville and moving out.
towards the Hermitage. area. um complete culture shock yeah uh we. were now living in an apartment. um wasn't long there before my mom woke. me up bloody nose black eyy from this. new guy saying we got to get out of here. you know um so then they split up and it.
was just me and my mom uh living in a. one-bedroom she took the at one point. she had took the living room with a day. bed as a bedroom and I had the bedroom. or we swapped up you know cuz we moved. Apartments my mom had that she had that. thing in her that like she didn't really. know how to face [ __ ] head. on without changing everything you know. it'd be like we need to change yeah so. we moved a lot you know um like we just.
need a fresh start we just need to. change uh which is very easy to do you. know and I I completely understand the. concept but I never really had friends. because I was always the new guy you. know so I was always like trying to fit. in or just into a new situation you. know um didn't really have a lot of. friends that I like grew up with and got. that you know they got that experience.
to have friends all the way from. elementary to high school I went to four. different high schools went to three. four different middle schools five. different middle schools you know holy. [ __ ] um but Liv moving out to Hermitage. immediately I got wrapped up in the. gangs um how did that happen. so the original way it happened I was. going to DuPont Tyler middle school and. it's funny I work out with a guy now who.
went there at the same time and we've. been friends for quite a while um didn't. really know each other like I I knew who. he was he knew who I was but we weren't. really like friends back then he cuz he. grew up there and he was like friends. with everybody and he was one of the. cool guys and I was just another new. guy but he uh we just had this. conversation and talked about this the. other day and we Reminiscing on those. days so. just got there there was this girl in.
the science class and she would talk to. me every day and nobody really talked to. me I was new nobody really knew who I. was um I had plats in my hair little. cornrows and stuff braids you know pants. hanging down around my knees and um. nobody really knew who I. was so there's this girl that she talk. to me every day well all of a. sudden you know she's telling me about. her boyfriend and you know we just talk. every day a couple.
weeks and I had met a couple. guys you know that automatically kind of. clicked with and I'd hang out with them. after school sometimes and. um there was a big family of them called. The Hardy Boys there's a bunch of them. uh in the. neighborhood and. so I guess her and her boy friend had. got into it and she had told him well.
there's a new guy at. school so I didn't even know this was. going. on um I hang out stay after school with. these new friends that I. met uh Philip Hardy and Rod Hardy uh. Philip Hardy and yeah Rod Hardy and Tony. Hardy and hang out with them after. school when I get back to the apartments. they're like hey this car full of guys. followed our bus home and they were.
looking for you they looking to jump you. and I'm like like I didn't know who it. was I had no clue what it was so the. next morning I tell these new friends. that I got I'm like hey man I heard that. like some guys tried to uh follow my bus. home yesterday so they give me a. 38 a 38 pistol damn how old are you 12. 12 years old you getting hand a 38. pistol so I got this little 38 and uh I.
put in my backpack and I carried around. for a few. days you know there's like rumors going. around school oh they're fixing to get. you they're fixing to get you and so I'm. just like trying to be cool whatever. um walking out one day and I see him. there I I still picture it right now and. I know everybody that was in the truck. now been friends with a bunch of them we. just buried one of them uh from a drug.
overdose not long ago. um but it was Chris mangram and you know. uh Jimmy wac which is worm a good friend. of mine that just passed away and then. his brother Sam was the one that was. dating the girl so they're all sitting. there a little red S10 pickup truck. there's about six of them in the truck. and they're waiting for me so I can. remember like it was yesterday it was. tunnel vision and I just see it and I I. reach in my back and I pull that 38 out.
and I've got it behind my back and all a. sudden I just hit the. ground the school cop was just leaning. up against the pillar against the brick. pillar and I just here comes this little. kid walking by with a gun behind his. back holy [ __ ] and he literally got me. right there took the gun from me put me. in. handcuffs and uh of course once again. whan had a lot to do with me not going. to juvenile for.
long but they kicked me out of Metro. Public. Schools so we had to leave that. school what were you going to do you. going to wait for him to do something or. were you just I was probably going to. pull it out and you know at that point I. had never shot a gun I was ready to. though like I I was going to protect. myself like I I had it in my head like. if I'm not going to let get beat up I'm. not going to let them jump me.
um I had played Cowboys and Indians. enough in my life that I would probably. would have shot one of them uh you. know uh but I don't know I've never had. anybody ask me that I don't know what. the hell I would have done I might have. dropped a gun and ran I might have shot. I might have uh they might have all. backed up and I might have took off. running you. know but. um so they kicked me out of metro public.
schools for a year there was like a no. Zero Tolerance policy with a handgun and. so my mother takes me to. um Mount Juliet which is like the next. town up and she enrolls me in Mount. Juliet Christian. Academy so I get there and here I am. once again you know little Thug nobody. knows who I am now I'm a whole another. culture shock you know this is like. country boys with like big jacked up.
trucks um had a Christian. school but we lived in this one little. it was an apartment complex again based. on your income and it was like just one. little strip of one way in one way out. apartments and uh it was the poor part. of you know Mount. Juliet um. just me and my mom at this point.
again and so go to the school I'm there. for a couple. months they say hey look because at this. point I'm in eighth grade they're like. if the lights go out in the eighth grade. hallway just stand up against the. lockers it's just the high schoolers. coming in you know they'll come in and. knock stuff off the walls push a couple. people over and run out the other side. of the hallway just like a hazing. thing.
so lights go. out uh they're you know I see them. running in I just lean up against the. locker I'm like you know whatever and. they stop right at me grab me and I'm. like trying to fight back and they're. like holding me down and I could feel. them just like it was like stabbing in. my forehead you know and uh. I guess it went on for about a minute or.
two and then they let me go and they. took off out the. hallway so I went to the bathroom and. they had. carved in my. forehead and are you [ __ ] yeah how how. old were you I was 12 was when I was in. eighth grade holy [ __ ] 13 probably at. this point and so of course you know the. teacher sends me to the office I'm like. I got blood coming down my face and it.
it I don't know if it was uh I don't. think it was like a knife per se maybe a. pen that was like super dry or whatever. but they like etched it in there to the. point where you could read it for you. know a month or so a couple we few weeks. or whatever is it was scabbing and. healing up uh but it was their senior. soccer team you know they didn't have. football at that school they just had. soccer so it was like they were the you. know the soccer team that was winning. the championship you know it was one of.
those things they just got demerit it's. the same thing you would get chewing. bubblegum well around that time I was. still hanging out with the guys from the. last school you know that I had met and. I went to The Hermitage Lanes every. single weekend it was like this bowling. alley and then there was a movie theater. across the street so we get dropped off. at the movie theater uh by our parents. you know and then you'd walk across the. the street to the bowling alley where. all the high school kids and everybody.
you know hung. out and I had told them you know they're. all gang members and I told him like man. I want to I want to be a part of that. and one day as I'm walking through six. guys come out from the bushes and. they're like you said you want to be a. part of it let's go and sat there and I. got jumped for 6 minutes by six people. just fighting back you know boom boom. boom um trying not to hit the ground. every time I hit the ground I'm trying. to get right back up and you know ended.
with a hug and went up to the her up to. the lanes to the bowling alley you know. got a coat hung out. and you know started that path of at. then then after that point it didn't. matter what neighborhood I went to where. my mom moved me to I had people there. yeah you know I wasn't I wasn't just a. new kid I'm like oh you're a actually. why did you want to join the gang was it. for protection you were tired of getting.
[ __ ] with just I didn't have I was. raised by a single mom I didn't have any. siblings you just wanted to belong to. something yeah I just want to be a part. of something you know I wanted to have. friends I wanted to you know feel like. you know I was a part of something. to. uh my mom you know at that point she was. working two jobs and going to. cosmetology school and trying to work on. her music you know she was doing. everything she could just you know.
digging in the mud trying to get us out. you know and trying to prove that she. could do it on her own and trying to. make a way and you know that's one thing. that I can say about my mom is she you. know she may have what some people would. think gave up a lot of times but she. never she was a fighter she never gave. up she's you know even to this day you. know she's. still trying to make ends meet you know. and I do everything I can for of course. now so she's not just she definitely.
doesn't struggle at this point um but. she's still she still does struggle you. know she's still I've got a little. brother that's. 18 that uh she's raising and taking care. of um we don't really see eye to eye on. that he hasn't left the house in five. years he's a plays video games and is. caught in this bubble you know and she's. a you know he kind of runs her ragged. and tells her what to do and aggravates. the [ __ ] out of me you know I want to go.
there and beat his ass and my mom is. like will not say he's like off limits. and I'm like you're [ __ ] enabling him. yeah he hasn't walked out the front door. in 5 years mom he's going to be [ __ ]. up he's going to be a [ __ ] you know. but you know she's got a million excuses. for him like any mom would and you know. just uh kind of having to let her deal. with that on her own you know um not. deal with on her own I'm here for 100%.
but I'm having to let her make that. decision because if it was up to me I go. drag his ass out that [ __ ] house and. say no you're going to go to work you're. going to go to the [ __ ] gym you're. going to you know finish high school you. know he's online school gaming all day. and you know who knows he might be the. next [ __ ] he might invent the biggest. video game in the world and be a. multi-millionaire you know but you know. it drives me crazy to watch especially.
when I talk to my mom and she's running. to three different fast food joints to. get him food you know well he likes. fries from here and he likes the coke. from here and he likes the meal from. here and I'm. like make his [ __ ] ass get up and go. get it like you know he's 18 he's never. drove a car like yeah but you know I say. all that definitely not to bash her cuz. I love her and she's she's doing the. best that she knows to do uh we can.
always do better you know any of us in. life you know so I don't want to use the. term best you can do cuz we can all do. better. but uh it is frustrating especially like. you know I'm a I'm a man's man I like to. be out outside I like hard work I like. labor you know U I'm. working 70 80 hours a week you know um. well let's go see walk back in the. bowling alley yeah so I walked back in. the bowling alley and uh that was the.
beginning of me becoming a gang. member and was it immediate acceptance. oh yeah when we walked in there yeah for. sure especially there because of who. brought me in um now through those years. especially like as I'm. going to different neighborhoods moving. to different places meeting other. members uh there was a lot of. discrepancy on if white boys could be GD.
you know that's where was a part of. Gangster. Disciple and what's it called Gangster. Disciple okay GD Larry Hoover um which. you know they're fighting to get him out. of prison now because he's got you know. hundreds of years been in supermax Kanye. West Drake just teamed up with his son. Larry Hoover Jr to get him out because. you know his the thing about GD. that made me gravitate towards it was it.
was originally Gangster Disciple but. then it evolved into growth and. development and as Larry Hoover who was. you know a street guy from. Chicago was you know High you know he. started this gang and it it progressed. as he went to jail and he started seeing. the way things were and started to grow. up as a man himself. it became less of a gang and more of an.
organization and he. changed he he evolved it from Gangster. Disciple into growth and development and. would write you know these pieces of. literature and knowledge to try to. inspire these what once were violent. gang members into being business owners. into being you know um politicians or or. you know whatever uh. so a lot of the knowledge that came from.
it will live with me forever you know. there was a lot of um pieces of their. literature that are. inspiring you know there's laws and. policies there's codes you know you. don't a lot of these other gangs are. freefor all killing each other and and. robbing and raping not allowed to Rob. not allowed to rape not allowed you know. there was like a lot of rules that. made you uphold a certain amount of.
Integrity now of course everybody in the. gang is not doing that you know it's. still one of the most dangerous gangs in. the world to this point especially in. the prison systems how many members. roughly do do you know I don't I I don't. know for sure I would definitely say. anywhere from 750,000 to one 1.5 million. I mean members yeah for sure is the. global or uh United States national yeah. definitely uh holy [ __ ] that's a big.
[ __ ] gang yeah I mean it's it's would. be one of the largest it's probably you. know it probably is the largest if you. take away you know Bloods and. Crips um which are just you know they're. the they're uh but like once again. there's so many sets of. those that a lot of Crips don't get. along with other CPS. you know you got the five dce Hoover. don't like the rolling 60s or you know.
whatever they're constantly beefing. amongst those gangs to where GD was one. organization that was you know governed. and actually you know had literature and. laws and policies and so it was it was. definitely um there was for me. always having those seeds planted of. righteousness yeah it was that was what.
I gravitated towards you know I had. friends that were in all the gangs that. I was seeing growing up but that was. always the one that you know was sexy to. me that was the one that was like I want. to be that you know. uh so and you know and in the prison. systems as well they're the same like. you see the way that the GDs move in. prison is completely different than a. lot of other gangs. you know um they're more uniformed.
they're you know they're out they're. working out they're you know they're. they're like trying to better themselves. if they really follow the teachings of. Larry Hoover or you. know um people in. position that have written that. literature about bettering yourself you. know so definitely was a a major part of. my life yeah for 20 years you know uh 25.
years so. um getting a. gang. um next move after the whole thing at um. Mount Juliet Christian Academy we moved. back to Franklin moved back to Franklin. moved back to Franklin this time we. moved to the apartments right on the. other side of Cherokee projects. um down by the ball. field uh lived in the back of the.
apartments once again based on your. income um little trail goes up right. into Cherokee projects I don't know if. you know where that is I don't. um but so you know my mom's back. working two jobs going to cosmetology. school I'm at home by myself all the. time um and you know how it is. especially starting High School you're. the kid whose parents are never home so.
my house my apartment became the hangout. spot. um and it was you know the same thing. like I was I'd go to Wayland on the. weekends to spend time with shooter and. at whan's house you know it was Cadillac. Jaguar Mercedes big. house I knew what was. possible hearing the stories of way. coming from nothing dirt floor in Texas.
to becoming the icon that he was and you. know the man that he that he was at the. time or will always be. but um having him as a a fatherly figure. in my. life of course I wanted what he. had going back to my neighborhood on the. week days the only guys that had. Mercedes Cadillacs Jaguars were the drug. dealers. my mom was never at home um she was. working her ass off to barely make ends.
meat I've watched my mom break down uh. while I was in high school in tears cuz. I asked her for lunch money and she. didn't have it to give me you know. uh which once again you know that was. her wanting you know I I see the. nobility in it I see her wanting to. prove that she could do it on her own um. and I hope that she doesn't. have a lot of regret from that because.
we could have I could have had a. completely different life yeah you know. um if she' to listen to whan and listen. to the family and but you know we got to. all make our own path and she felt she. was doing the right thing by breaking. away from. that I try to teach my kids that. now like I'm not trying to keep you. under a rule I'm not trying to keep you. contained I want you to. Blossom but I've been through [ __ ] I've.
seen [ __ ] that I don't want you to ever. have to see that I don't ever want you. to have to go through it's kind of same. thing way was doing to her but she. rebelled wanting to prove that she. didn't need their money she didn't need. you know it's like yeah you don't need. my money you know I want my kids know. that you don't need my money you can go. out there and get it like you can be 10. times more successful than I could ever.
be you don't have to go through all this. [ __ ] that I already went through you. know uh if you just listen to me it'll. the path will be a little easier yeah. I'm not going to say it's going to be. easy At All by any means it's not going. to be easy everybody's path needs some. roughness to it for you to even. appreciate where you get um but you know. when I look back at it I do see the. nobility and I see that she was you know. really trying you know when I was.
younger I had a little bit of resentment. because I thought it was just. stubbornness and I was like oh she was. just bucking the system and now look at. me look at life I've had to live and. things I've had to endure. because I wouldn't change any of it and. now I plotter for it but also you know. want to tell my kids like hey don't do. that yeah you know like uh but. so we moved back to Franklin um started.
Franklin High. School uh still had the gang affiliation. so you know I would still make trips to. go see the guys in Hermitage or they'd. come down to. Franklin automatically linked up with. the guys that were a part of the same. gang in Franklin you know. um run around wild Franklin for years um. at what point did you started running. drugs for. them well so I never actually ran drugs.
for the gang per se okay yeah. um. uh actually dealt to most of them. um I guess I was. probably um first time I ever started. selling drugs was around 12 12 years old. yeah in Middle School. um getting small amounts of uh. weed uh.
cocaine um anything that I could sell to. make a little bit of. money uh 14 when we were living here is. when I got my first large amount I got. my first pound of. weed um they were building Cool Springs. Galleria uh it wasn't even up yet and I. was living in some apartments called The. Landings right behind it that was after. Franklin High. School um went there for a year got into.
a bunch of trouble you know running from. the police skipping. school um. fighting uh and so my mom had tried to. move us more once again Fresh Start move. us out towards Cool Springs I went to. Brentwood High. School which was once again another. culture shock you know just those. different environments uh which really.
taught me. that the environment doesn't change the. person yeah you know and you can adapt. to the environment if you're willing and. the environment can definitely inspire. you or you know you can progress or fall. backwards if you allow the environment. to affect you like that but the person's. the person you know regardless where she. put me I was still the same person I. might change the way I dressed I.
might change my accent a little bit you. know but I was always the same person. deep. inside. um so bwood high school get a pound of. weed from a guy uh an older kid and. broke it up and I I remember the day. they opened Cool Springs I was in there. with a backpack full of dime bags no all. my friends were like walking around. trying to holler at the girls and I'm.
trying to sell dying bags of weed you. know I've got a backpack full of you. know a pound of weed um and that was uh. 9495 so I was 1415 so what was the. conversation with like what the whoever. gave you the pound of weed I mean they. were just like hey here's a pound of. weed no it was it was me looking for it. you were looking for it yeah I was. always looking for it I had I had kind. of decided um you know so I spent the. weekends throughout my childhood a lot. of times either going to Shooters uh in.
waylands or going out and seeing my. dad's side of the family in West. Nashville so when I would go out there. with my uncle tadpole to West Nashville. as a child that's when I was around a. lot of that and I'd see the guys that. were like you know uh hustling and and. selling weed and selling cocaine. and so. I was I had pretty much made a decision. by the time I was 12 that I want to be a.
drug dealer okay you know they were uh. we were just talking about the other day. uh in the gym with my friend Bobby I was. like man I still want to go get those. Jordans from. 92 the red and black ones that the cross. over it and they had the blue and purple. ones and then they had the red and black. ones and the the things cross across. front of him cuz I couldn't afford him. back then my mom couldn't afford to get.
them to me get them for me and I. remember a guy named Randy Riser he had. him with the matching Bulls jersey you. know and I can remember like yesterday I. wanted those shoes both pair the the the. Charlotte colored ones and the Chicago. Bulls colored. ones. so we just talking about that the other. day but it was around that era you know. moving to Nashville and seeing you know. guys that I would hear were selling. drugs and you know they they had the.
shoes I wanted or they had the pretty. girlfriend or they had a car you know. before they even old enough to. drive. and uh so I had realized at a young age. that I wanted to do that um so it was. the money it was the money it was I was. tired of seeing my mama struggle I. wanted to make something I was hearing. my mother say that I can I can do it. without you I can do it on my own I can. do it on my own I can do it on my own I.
can hear my dad's voice son you know. sometimes you might have to do wrong for. what's right you know you take care of. your family by any means. necessary you know it's okay to do wrong. if it's for the right reasons you know. those those uh irrational beliefs that. were instilled in. especially. poverty areas you know and the family. and it's that way of thinking you know. that's like by any means necessary.
whatever you got to do to feed your. family you know try not to hurt nobody. but whatever you got to do family over. everything yeah you know. um and that that was a big part of. prison stripping those irrational. beliefs tearing down all those you know. those things that I had been ingrained. with and taught for years as being lost. and truth you know and realizing like no.
that's completely [ __ ] irrational. like yeah protect your family by any. cost but when I went to prison the same. people that I had Justified all my. actions and said I'm doing this for my. family I'm doing this to feed my kids. I'm doing this to give my kids a better. life they're the ones that ended up in. the [ __ ] projects in drug houses. being molested and drugg through the mud. while I'm in prison and can't protect.
them yeah you know what I mean so they. became the victims when I Justified all. my [ __ ] [ __ ] and all my poor decisions. by I was being a man and taking care of. my family when in. actuality almost ruined my family you. know I I they went through so much. because of the decisions I made so that. was a major major part of of my. transformation okay and me. saying here I am in prison a guy that.
thinks I've got everything figured out. and I've got all this control I've got. this power in the street I've got this. power through money I've got this this. say so uh you know I have no control I'm. behind bars anything can happen to them. they're going through this and I can't. do anything yeah I could maybe send a. friend over there to try to protect him. if something happened or I can send a. friend over there with a couple dollars. to cover. rent but that's not you know the mother.
of my children was Fallen victim to. addiction so she's dragging them through. the mud she died La two years ago from a. drug overdose my youngest three's. mom so watching that happen and saying I. don't have any control yeah at this. point the only control I have is of me. and of what I do at this time and the. control uh that the. opportunity to sit here and figure.
out what I want out of life who I want. to be who I am Who Am I who do I not. want to be and who do I want to be yeah. you know and stripping all of that out. getting rid of all of it uh let's uh. let's stay on yeah yeah cuz I stay on. gam first we'll get to prison yeah and. then uh and and then into music but so. you're you're 14 13 or 14 15 you got.
pound of weed selling drugs selling. drugs at the Galleria yeah and what did. that develop into um developed. into just the same cycle for years um. hanging out with a bunch of friends you. know running around wild breaking into. the cars comes to the point where. uh my mother I had ran away for a little. while she had called the police of.
course. the police officer that showed up to the. house she kind of had a Rel started a. relationship with him. um so fast forward few months later. uh I call her and I'm like hey you know. I think I want to go back to Brent w. would you know um at this time I'm at. the new school they had just built.
Centennial I'm like I think I want to go. back to Brentwood. um you know can we see if we can get. reone there see if we can get me back in. there I'm just I'm in the wrong crowd. I'm just at this point I'm like driving. a stolen car to and from. school uh I'm breaking into cars at. night I'm selling weed during the day. you know uh. and she goes in my room for whatever.
reason finds some stuff that she thinks. looks. sketchy calls her cop friend says hey if. there's stuff in the house you know will. I be charged with it if you know and. he's like oh yeah sure like you know. whatever he comes over there searches. the. room um firearm sto bag full of stolen. radios bags weed residue scales you know. uh and so they come pick me up from.
school um tried to run didn't work um. took me to. juvenile s in juvenile uh you know my. mom when I get in there they're. interrogating me they're asking me about. the gang asking me about my trips to. Nashville to get drugs uh cuz by this. point you know I'm giving my mom money. and I'm she's my mom you know she was. the only thing I ever had for a long. time so I had confided in her about some.
of my criminal activity and about what I. was doing and. uh so she had told them of course. everything I had told. her and so I get in there and they're. interrogating me and I just you know I. just completely shut down didn't tell. them. anything uh going to. court they're seeking to send me off to. dyd which Department of Youth. Development could have been there as far.
as up to 21 you know but probably 18 is. probably where it probably would have. been about 3 years incarcerated so this. is 15 yeah juvie M and I had already. been to juvie a couple times before uh. for a Grand Theft Auto [ __ ] U my mom's. door got kicked in for that um. she had been with uh she was in another. abusive. relationship me and the guy actually.
pulled guns on each other at 15 right. before all that other stuff. happened and uh but he he was the same. way he was putting his hands on her and. stuff which we got him back the good way. we he had a BMW he thought he was all. cool you know he came out one day the. thing was completely destroyed no. windows no tires no wheels gas tank uh. full of sugar you know just we. completely uh he put his hands on my mom.
one too many times. um. but uh so I'm sending juvenile they're. looking to send me a. dyd and it was like out of a movie I'm. like in the courtroom and like a door. swings open and you hear these [ __ ]. cowboy boots clicking across the. floor and it was whing and he came in. there and talked the judge behind the. chambers and pretty much just told him. like Hey this kid just needs a father.
figure his uncle Tad pole who is my. dad's brother has stepped up said he. wants to take custody of him you know. give his kid another chance so moved. from Franklin to West Nashville to where. my dad's side of the family was my uncle. TPO was. Hustler. um drug dealer. hardworking [ __ ] though. construction cars hydraulic work I mean.
every bit of it he can do it he's great. at it and he's always been super hard. worker but of course you know if he can. make a couple extra dollars selling a. couple pounds of weed he would you know. um like to grow his own. weed and uh I didn't know any of that at. this point though you know like I moved. in like oh man I'm going to I'm send me. to prison like he's fixing to kick my. ass cuz he's just Old West Nashville.
tough [ __ ]. and so I get with him uh I get taken out. of my mom's. custody um and get put into custody with. my uncle. taple he uh automatically straight out. the gate puts me to work I got chores. you know uh taught me how to rebuild a. motor um. teaching me construction you know doing. construction on the weekends whatever.
job he may be on at the time and. um lived with him for about two years. but so I'm moved out to West Nashville. with him and of course new environment. same thing I know a lot of the kids. already because I had been out there on. the weekends and you know went to the. skating rink and you know um. changed high schools went to high school. out there immediately found the guys.
that smoked weed started smoking. weed um one of the. neighbors uh that I had known from the. skating ring happened to be a weed. dealer jumped right back into it fell. right back into it right back into it. um but Tapo was a different animal you. couldn't get over on him like you know. anything thing that you're doing he's. going to he's going to know so where. with my mom I could walk to the store.
smoke a couple joints and come back high. she wouldn't know I was high you know uh. tap was like boy where the hell did you. get that you know like what going on and. so once I had kind of proved myself to. him you know then he started to like. okay well it's in you you're not going. to just change. overnight let me just teach you how to. to be. smart how to do good. business how to work hard and he he.
taught me how to be a man you know uh he. taught me how to work with my hands not. be afraid of you know hard work and. putting work in. myself uh taught me how to grow weed. taught me how to sell weed taught me how. to not get caught by the police you know. taught me how to you know uh budget. money feed my. family taught you a lot of [ __ ] taught. me a lot of [ __ ] you know.
um just found out a few days ago he's. got stage four cancer they just cut part. of his lung out he been hiding it from. me damn cuz he's old tough something. [ __ ] but sorry to hear that yeah he's. going I think I think he's got a a lot. of fight left in him he'll be around for. a while I don't see this being the end. of anything yet uh. but you know if it is he lived a [ __ ]. hell of a life yeah and he definitely uh.
his legacy will live on through me and. my kids because I still you know I still. teach my kids a lot of the same. principles that he's you know instilled. in. me but so moving to West Nashville fall. right back into the same thing. um when did when did it go from weed to. opiates to cocaine yeah so it was it it. was we it was weeding cocaine out of the.
gate and then ended up just being weed. for a long time when I was 17 I got. addicted to cocaine okay. um I was selling cocaine started playing. with it a little bit um well I guess. 16ish yeah 16 cuz it was uh my my prom. I'd been up for 4. days and my I've got some friends that. still pop up my prom pictures every once.
in a while be like [ __ ] yeah my eyes are. this big I'm like bleach blonde hair and. [ __ ] before Eminem uh bleach blonde hair. [ __ ] eyes big as hell. um but um yeah so I guess about 16 you. know late 16 early 17 how much coke. Amber you pushing at and when it first. started just a couple ounces at a time. you know which is still you know few.
thousand dollars so um 16 years old you. know you got 10 grand put up you're rich. you. so um started off and I was. doing I was probably consuming a half. ounce a day you know just between. partying with everybody and you know. um but I was Souther enough to where I. was still making good money. and.
uh but dealing with cocaine you burn a. lot of bridges especially when you're. using so I was Burning Bridges left and. right and then got to a point where I. was uh quote unquote Cowboy you know I. was robbing just as much as I was. selling damn um kicking you know finding. big licks and you know kicking doors in. and whing out like literally being being. a [ __ ] young terrorist you know just. terrorizing.
um in any form that I. could. uh right about. 1819 found out that I was having my. first. daughter um I had just been lowlevel. low-level drug dealer I guess it was 18. when I found out low-level drug dealer. you know selling enough to keep my habit. and still make money and you know wear. gold jewelry and drive a decent car and.
you know party. and um be known for being a drug dealer. but definitely nothing. substantial and uh found out that you. know through you know just when you're. living that life you may. be rich one day you know and then next. day lose it all you know. so right before I found out or the day I.
found out earlier that day my hotel room. was up didn't have any. cocaine didn't know what I was going to. do where I was going to. go pulled a 9 mm that I had had. out put it to my. head crying tears ready to just end it. all still living with that regret you. know from my father thinking that he had. committed suicide. and.
uh the girl that I was with it left me. you. know. and right as I pull it. back they just they're beating on the. door and I just all I remember is. thinking I don't know where to go can't. go to my mom's this point I'm kicked out. me and tab pole have already fell out. we're not seeing eye to eye right now.
um you. know really no friends that I trust you. know nobody that I can really call on to. go crash on their couch or you know so. the gang wasn't really working out at. this point no it's they're all in the. same position I'm in yeah they're all in. the same situations they're all doing. the same thing that I'm doing. um and. so I remember vividly being.
like this isn't where I want to die I'm. in the Congress in on Dickerson. road like shitty hotel you know um this. can't be. it I get up and I. leave uh I went walk to myom mom's house. which was straight up the street about 3. 4. miles I go over there.
um get a couple of my things pack a. little bag I'm not allowed to stay there. she's got a at this point she's got a. fiance that's doing really good for. himself you know he's not abusive he's. uh he was a awesome guy she was with him. for a couple. years and they had gave us they had gave. me a chance to live there before and um. I got into a shootout with a guy and. blew this half of my finger off um what.
was the shootout over drugs same [ __ ] as. always. um but my mom had came home and I was. laying on her couch passed out covered. in blood and [ __ ] um and so there was. just a lot of times when there. were those moments where she was just. like I've had enough I can't do this you. know she never gave up on me though. again like that's why as soon as I got a.
record label I recorded an album with. her because you know trying to give her. that back and be able to give her some. of that because she gave up her career a. lot of it you know talked about her. nobility and stubbornness and stuff but. a lot of it was chasing my badass around. you know and trying to figure we were. figuring life out together she was 16. she was just a baby you know we kind of. raised each other. but uh so I was kicked out of my. mom's um my best friend uh Crazy Jay who.
he's doing 82 years he had just got. picked up. uh when I got kicked out of my mom's he. was staying with me so he went out to. South Nashville to stay with another. friend of ours. um and somebody had robbed. them he chased the guy down the guy shot. at him he shot back killed the. guy freaked out cuz he was.
17 freaked. out there was a you know a junkie drug. addict running around the neighborhood. he paid the guy $20 to get rid of the. body cuz he didn't know what to do he. was 17 he flipped out the guy drags the. body around the back of the store throws. a mattress over it sets it on fire takes. the gun takes everything out the guy's. pockets so when the police come it looks. like a robbery and somebody tampering. with the body you know there's no uh.
proof of a shoot out no proof the guy. shot at my cousin first or my best. friend first you know so he's been. sitting in prison hopefully it looks. like this year he might get some love. and maybe get um CU he's been in 25. years you know since he was 17 he's 42. now. uh and it was self-defense you know. there's no proof of that there's no way. to prove that. but uh I know that Governor Bill Le's.
trying to do some reform with some of. those old. murders um guys that you know got life. sentences 17 to 21 and have done over 20. years of their sentence giving them. parole options and they don't have. that so uh hopefully he's going to get. some love but so he had just went you. know I didn't really have anybody else. at the. time um took a.
uh bus back to West Nashville cuz at. this time I was living in East Nashville. where my mom had been and um where the. girl that I had met and was dating had. been but me and her were like broke up. whatever moved back to West Nashville. and uh she comes out there and tells me. that day she CU I called her from pay. phone like hey just letting you know I'm. in West Nashville now and she was like I. got something I got to tell you where. you're at gave her the address she.
pulled up over there and told me I'm. pregnant uh it's yours I'm like well we. ain't been together in 6 months like hey. you know it's mine she was like trust me. it's your like it's 6 months I wasn't. [ __ ] with nobody else when we were. [ __ ]. around so then I was like okay well this. is the time when I need to change my. life you know quit doing. cocaine quit robbing and settled down to. become a weed dealer right it's kind of. what you what you kind of did in my. neighborhood like you settle down to do.
good business you know instead of uh. instead of living on the edge yeah so uh. of course I had a lot of bridges I had. to mend and I had a reputation I had to. rebuild cuz you know nobody's going to. meet me in a dark alley to buy weed from. me and I think I'm going to rob them or. something so uh. linked up with some people started. selling weed again uh rebuilt that a lot.
of those relationships in the streets um. bought our first house and then it just. snowballed met a friend from high school. that I hadn't seen in a long time uh. come to find out he was the man you know. he had since high school you know moved. up the ranks and was had the weed had a. lot of weed weed so you know went from. getting one or two lbs to get 100.
lb when you're building a weed Network. or weed business or any drug business. how how did you start I mean cuz it's. not like you're getting referrals and. [ __ ] right yeah a lot of times and you. you're meeting people you know you're. hanging out at parties just handing it. out or you're just living life and. everybody smokes weed back then you know. I guess everybody really smokes weed now. it's legal half the places. but uh and you just get a reputation for.
having good weed doing good business you. know um I always tried to be uh. super competitive with. prices um and I always just had good. energy people wanted to buy from me. people wanted to be friends they wanted. to be a part of whatever I was doing. okay um there's one thing that I always. had was that light in me you know I had. that light like I'm G to do something.
great I don't know what the [ __ ] it is. but I'm going do. something. um so I was you know especially in those. older years I was super popular you know. as far as well known I guess is what. what it would be. um and yeah it is that you build a. network you know you just a lot of times. like oh yeah you know the person that. I'm selling weed. to goes and tells the person they used.
to buy weed. from then eventually you just get. clientele. uh was it territorial at all back then. did you have to worry about where you're. selling uh I never really dealt with. that that much. because um you know I was a gang member. okay and uh even at my height when I was. selling you know kilos of cocaine and. hundreds of pounds of weed I would sell.
to the other. major gang members you know like the. guys that were um the big homies okay uh. so yeah I didn't have too much I I never. really had a lot of problems with uh. people trying to rob me because I. already had the. reputation of having a gun and using a. gun and being willing to go to any links. to you know protect mine how many.
shootouts do you think you'd been in. uh more than I could count how would. they trans you only shot twice only been. shot twice yeah um what what was the. question you asked how would they kind. of. transfire uh you know what most of the. times that I've been in shootouts has. been me coming to the aid of somebody. else uh two people getting into an.
argument somebody. robbing somebody that I. knew um or trying to rob somebody that I. knew and me going. to try to save somebody so a lot of this. wasn't actually from. D um it comes with it because it' be. like you know uh you got a guy on the. other side of town that tries to rob one. of your good friends of some of your. stuff okay they're robbing drugs yeah.
robbing drugs or um I've got two assault. charges on my record uh both of them are. from seeing a guy beating up a girl. intervening getting the guy off the girl. both times the girl called the cops on. me that I just saved her [ __ ] ass you. know what I mean like all of the a lot. of the trouble a lot of the violence. that I've been in has always. been coming to the aid of somebody else. cuz like I said nobody really brought it.
to my door I had a reputation of I will. come down through there and light this. [ __ ] up okay you. know. um so a lot of thing and I've always. been one of those guys my dad told me. when I was a kid told me that my name. William me defender of the. week so I always had that in the back of. my head so anytime you know somebody was. getting bullied or you know through high.
school or anything I never condone that. like I would be the first one to jump in. front of five people and try to fight. all five of them for picking on somebody. you know um cuz my dad just instilled. that in me and gave me that so I held on. to that as well as you know protecting. the women that I love and the women in. my life and all women I held on to those. as like Badges of Honor because it was. you know the last thing that I remember.
my dad really talking to me. about. um so yeah I've been in uh a lot of. shootouts um you got shot twice been. shot twice been shot in the shin and. then in the back of the leg same uh. gunfight no two totally different ones. let's let's go into those yeah where'd. you get hit first uh the first time was. in the back of the. leg uh and once again friend of mine.
we're at the movie. theaters he had heard his girl was. cheating on him pulls up to the movie. runs in runs in can't find her we go out. back to smoke a cigarette she's out back. with the. guy we run over there all his friends. are there my friend's frantic his. girlfriend's messing around on him and. quick scuffle gun.
running I'm shooting back they're. shooting at us didn't even realize I was. hit felt the pressure kind of knocked me. down thought I had. tripped uh a few minutes later felt the. burning. thumping pain of of it you know hit me. hit me in the back of the leg and my um. hamstring. second. time uh wend Smith's parking lot West.
Nashville on the corner of Mar Road in. Charlotte. um I had been in another shootout where. I had actually hit. somebody um where'd you hit him uh. shoulder. leg. twice the leg um and it was a. retaliation guy saw me was like oh that. struggle.
um quick. altercation car to car he draws I duck. I'm shooting over the car he's shooting. uh bullet comes underneath the car. catches just the right way bounces off. the concrete hits me right here in the. shin the bone yeah shatter that thing um. what happened to the guy you. hit uh he lived yeah he lived.
um I had. a friended called me said hey man I got. a guy that's got something um these guys. want to buy 10 lbs I really need to do. this deal I need to make some money my. girl's pregnant I'm like all right cool. you know whatever go to do the deal with. him it was a setup we get in the car My. Buddy goes does the transaction comes.
back money's counterfeit I know it's. counterfeit as soon as he puts it in my. hand. so the one of the guys that's in the. front seat is one of their friends so of. course I put a gun to him like tell the. other guy catch up to him pull up side. by side I'm like hey man I'm yelling. through the window hey money's no good. like let's just let's make this easy. make this you know exchange they act. like they're going to pull the weed put.
the weed out the. window pull the bag. back 9mm Beretta comes out the. window I'm wearing a twodo Saturn I'm in. the back seat. [ __ ] they fired every one of. those into that back. window yeah it's a little ass window. yeah every one of them and I just. remember just sitting there and I'm like. [ __ ] praying in my head you know what.
I mean like there's nothing I can do. right now you know I mean it's just fire. after fire after fire after fire after. fire and I'm. froze soon as I hear it's stop they're. pulling off I raise up just start. shooting b b I've got a. 44 um short dog like uh. revolver got two speed Reloaders. in my pocket lighting lighting the car. up we're driving like this we're on. Bradley Parkway finally the car goes to.
the side veer's off we're driving too. fast we pull up I see one of the guys. take off. running we go up come back down the exit. come back up and uh one of the guys is. hit the other guys are gone out of the. car the guy who was with me they had. thrown a bag out before they went off we. stopped and said go get that and wait. right here for us you know of course he.
did he ran off too which we found them. all and you know I got all my stuff. back but. uh when we looked at that car the next. morning it looked like and I had you. know my face was like uh strawberri you. know like powder burnt and stuff like I. had marks on me and stuff. wasn't hit a single time damn every one. of those bullet holes was through the.
seat where I was sitting like literally. like they went through me every single. one of. them wow uh another one of those moments. that brought me closer to God like okay. there's definitely some somebody's got. my back right now the [ __ ] doesn't just. happen like this yeah this that's not. you know I have some kind of purpose. uh had a few instances like that reason. I quit smoking weed when I was.
21 uh friend of mine called me said I. got these stories for days do but a. friend calls me he's like hey man you. know I got somebody wants to buy some. weed and I'm like all right cool come to. the house he comes to the house we ride. over I pick it up from where I kept. everything and me and my baby mom at the. time had uh been arguing so I had a bag. full of clothes where I had went and. stayed at a hotel cuz me and her were. arguing got a bag full of clothes in the.
back run in grab the 10 lbs he wants put. it in the car drive to the park and I've. been you know I'm sitting here. smoking uh back to back you know. Blunts and I'm sitting in the car we're. in the park waiting on him you know his. person to come pick it up or. whatever while a sudden I hear a scuffle. and start shooting b b bom and so I put. the car and drive and duck down and mash. the gas as he's jumping in the front of.
the. car blew the headrest off of my. seat they had run up from my side but. because I was smoking I wasn't paying. any. attention and I quit smoking weed that. day cuz I was like you know what I I. can't live this life and be out of my. element man how like you know a lot of. people get coming from a military. background and being in war for 14 years. you get addicted to this [ __ ] oh yeah I.
mean that adrenaline there's 100%. there's no drug in the world that can. give you a high like [ __ ] getting. shot at being in the middle of a. gunfight no for sure you know especially. if you're allowed to do it do sh well I. think it might be more adrenaline if. you're not allowed to do it cuz then you. got two things to worry about but um you. think you got addicted to that lifestyle. and addicted to that adrenaline at all. 100% And I still I still crave it y you.
know uh I've been out of prison 6 years. now I did 5 years in prison so I'm 11. years removed from that life 11 11 years. cuz I was all the way to the day I got. locked up but 11 years removed from that. life and uh I still crave it yeah I've. got I have friends that don't do. anything illegal but they'll keep. something illegal around them just. because they crave having something to. hide. yeah having something to feel like. they're still in that element you know.
um that's interesting yeah I I I. definitely of course crave it I find a. lot of. relief in the gym. um touring on stage you know um I get to. release a lot of it writing songs about. it you know. um but I still I crave I crave the chaos. yeah you know um and my my life's.
chaotic enough to where I get enough of. it and I've still got so much even. though I'm removed you know uh I still. get cause of you know um so many family. members dying from overdoses gang. violence DUI suicides like. non-stop um that's why I did the song. did the cover for have you ever seen the. rain. cuz it's like even though this is my. best life yet and it seems like our.
brightest hour it is still. thunderstorming on us I still have a lot. of that chaos I'm removed enough from it. you know to where how I deal with it is. my choice now you know um you can manage. it I can manage it I don't put I'm not. in a I don't put myself in situations to. where it's fight or flight and I have to. deal with it right there you know but. and I've got a couple friends that I. still call to get a little bit of the. tea get a little gossip you know to see. what's going on in the neighborhood just.
to kind of keep a pulse on things yeah. yeah kind of feel get a few minutes like. what happened you know but. um yeah no it's. definitely definitely addicting more. than the money yeah you know being the. man or having that power and that. constant strategic I got to move like. this cuz they're moving like this. and you. know playing that.
game is so. addicting the tactics of it all Yes. Trade craft yes especially when you get. like up to higher levels you know like. one of the most fulfilling things is. when I sit down when I used to sit down. with a guy and be like you know he had. reached out to a friend wanted to get. drugs from me you know wanted to get. some weight. and he reached out to a friend and so I. sit down with him you know I'm like okay. cool like I'll sit down we'll talk meet.
at a restaurant on you know Thursday or. something and I sit down with him and. I'm like uh all right cool so you know. what are you looking for he tells me. what do how much he wants I'm like all. right cool do you want to dropped off at. your mom's house your baby mom's house. your sister's house and he's. like how do you know where all those. people live and be like I wouldn't be. sitting here talking to you if I didn't. know where all those people lived you. know that's there's a there's like a.
power and like a adrenaline and even you. know being. that that strategic and and being that. guy you know you letting them know you. know [ __ ] me over yeah I know where. everybody lives I'm I'm here. like so of course there's like and you. know as much as we can sit here and talk. about it and get kind of riled up. there's no glory in it yeah you know. what I mean like it's it tears the.
threads of this beautiful country apart. yeah I'm watching so many loved ones. [ __ ] great people mothers fathers. brothers sisters die from drugs. especially with this you know fentol and. the opiates now in the last four years. I watched my three youngest kids and my. two. stepchildren's entire family disappear.
damn so me and my wife we've been best. friends for like I said 20 years we were. in we were in different relationships I. was with my ex-wife who I had three kids. with and she my wife now was our best. friend and. uh she. lived with us you know my the mother my. kids had a drug problem off and on most.
of our. relationship and so you know she'd be in. and out. um not physically but you know uh. mentally and you know drug wise and so. my wife now taboo she helped me raise my. 16-year-old daughter uh iy like she was. there from birth because the mother of. my child was you know of course she. dealt with postpartum and use that as an. excuse to stay [ __ ] up for.
months and. um but she was one of our best friends. and then when my ex-wife's brother got. out of prison they hooked up so my. wife then and my wife now so my my wife. that I my ex-wife that I had three kids. with her brother and my wife now had two. kids so your sister-in-law not by yeah. but not by they they actually never got. married okay but so so you got me and my.
wife now I was. with uh a girl and my wife now was with. the girl I was with his brother okay um. so our kids are first cousins. gotcha. um but then when I by the time I came. home from prison my wife had went all. the way out my ex-wife had went all the. way out bad um to the point of you know.
back page and you know she was out there. out there on. drugs and I tried to save her we sent. her to multiple rehabs you know every. time she'd be in and out of them we'd. buy her new clothes and try to you know. give her a support system but she had. left the kids my kids were in foster. care when I came home from. prison. um damn but in the. last I've watched my. ex-wife die from an overdose her dad di.
from an. overdose my step kids my ex-wife's. brother my wife now is Baby Daddy just. died in February from a drug overdose. their other brother Zach just died from. a drug overdose their grandmother died. from an overdose and their mom just died. from an overdose holy [ __ ] so my so my. kids Grandpa Grandma great. grandma my kid's mother uncles uncle and.
then my stepkids father Aunt grandmother. like our five of our kids just lost six. of their family members in two three. four years [ __ ] from drug. overdoses you know and that's one of the. beautiful Parts about me and my wife's. relationship is we are the two that made. it out of that fire you know when I came. home from prison I was like I want to be. with you I want to spend my life with. you you're my best friend and she was. like [ __ ] you she was like I'm I'm not.
having it you know but uh as she says I. was persistent you know. um I knew what it could be we had been. through hell together you know so I knew. and I knew I had a rough road I knew. that you know fighting to get cussy my. kids back staying clean breaking the. breaking the um statistics. you know not going back to my old ways. really focusing on music and focusing on. whatever I was going to do to pay the.
bills uh I knew it was going to be a. tough road while dealing with probation. and parole you know but I was determined. and I had went through so much in those. 5 years in prison mentally emotionally. physically spiritually that I knew I was. ready and I knew I was going to make the. best out of the rest of my life and that. I I was not going to go back I was not. going to fall victim to those you know. to the streets and to my own way of.
thinking my old own way of thinking. and well let's uh let's take a quick. break yeah then when we come back I want. to talk about the Big Bus in Nashville. Airport prison how you got started in. music sounds. good a lot of you have heard me talk. about my psychedelic Journey this year. and all the benefits that came from. doing it one being I haven't drank in 7.
months I haven't had any caffeine in 7. months my anxiety's gone my anger's gone. a whole list of benefits came from that. and that led me down this journey of. researching benefits of mushrooms and. fungi in general and in my research I. found this company called mudwater. mudwater is a coffee alternative with. four adaptogen mushrooms and herbs with. a fraction of the caffeine as a cup of. coffee you get energy without anxiety.
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mudwater believes the country is in a. mental health epidemic and so do I go to. mudwater docomond to support the show. and use code sha for 15% off that's. mwater. docomond use code sha for 15%. off serious question. who wants to take the best [ __ ] of their. entire. life right here I do how do you do that.
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walk through that deal what well I I'll. kind of start from the beginning because. the story is. uh even going. farther uh I haven't actually ever said. this on a on an interview just um six. months ago I guess it's been six months. babe baby baby. yeah about 6 months ago they call me and. they tell me that my dad's sister baby. baby my aunt uh is passing she's only.
got a couple days to. live and this woman was like she's my. you know my aunt she's been you know. such a great great force in my life like. she always there when I needed her you. know whether it was financial problems. legal problems she always showed up baby. baby was a warrior she had uh. two sons that are my two cousins that. are still on death row right. now for killing their dad uh who was.
abusive you. know but she's uh she was just you know. she's been through hell and back baby. baby's you know she's been at the bottom. of the barrel grinded her way up hustled. her whole life scratch clawed you know. been in terrible relationships you know. um and she's just she was a. Survivor so they call me and they tell.
me baby baby's passing she's only got a. couple days she might not make it. through the night so I go over there and. I see her and her spirit is just one. that I hope that I have in my final days. you know her son was like Mama this is. the most I've seen seen you eat in days. and she goes It's the Last Supper. [ __ ]. so it's just that uh that Spirit you. know and I'm like bab baby what you.
doing she's like hell I'm just waiting. to see what's on the other side of this. door baby baby you know so that's why we. called her baby baby cuz y oh yeah baby. baby like how she talk so um but so. we're sitting. there and I've got my arm around baby. baby and like I said This Woman's been a. very very very powerful force in my life. like a rock I mean never gave up on me.
you know. um I would want my daughters to strive. to be a strong as this woman she's been. through hell and back and uh never gave. up never lost hope you know always just. been a. fighter uh. and never took [ __ ] from anybody you. know literally pulled up to her house. before and she's sitting out by her pool.
and there's bullet holes all in the. window I'm like baby what in the hell. happened she was like oh that. [ __ ] talking about her husband. cluck that [ __ ] he got to. talking [ __ ] I'll try to get his ass up. out of here you know she's just she's a. fighter bro so I got my arm around baby. baby and I'm hugging her and I I know. it's going to be the last time I ever. here and my other aunt says hey your. uncle's on the phone he wants to talk to. you and this is uh Uncle of mine uh my.
Uncle Paul he was. military came back super [ __ ]. up um drinking heavy got into a bar. fight stabbed a guy in the eye with his. thumb um you know went to prison in and. out of jails drinking heavy then gave. his life to God and quit drinking built. a huge uh Rock company like riverbed. Rock and stuff to liing rock built a.
huge company he's done great for. himself uh but I haven't talked to him. in you know I was in prison for 5 years. I've been home for. six don't think I've talked to him since. I've been home you know been a while and. uh so he gets on the phone I'm sitting. here on the phone speaker phone and he's. starts crying. I'm like what's going on Paul and he's. just mumbling I can't understand what. he's saying cuz he's so like frantic and.
I'm looking around the room and I'm. feeling the energy change right and I. look at I look around I'm like what is. he saying and my cousin goes something. he shouldn't be [ __ ] talking. about so I kind of I kind of at that. moment I'm like okay I'm like Paul what. are you saying and he was like like I'm. so sorry to tell you this but baby. baby's the one that killed your. dad and I've got my arm around her you.
know and it was one of those moments. where it tested. everything that I've been through in. life I didn't feel any different about. baby. baby whatever reason that she killed my. dad uh 31 years ago I don't know I. wasn't there you know. um of course I wish she wouldn't have.
done it I miss my dad I love my. dad um he was my [ __ ] hero you know. my life would have been completely. different with him in. it but here I am right now I wouldn't. change anything that happened in my life. any hard. time any decision that I made at this. point wouldn't change it because it all. LED for me to be right here where I'm at. right now doing what I love to do having.
a testimony to share with. others but it was that that moment where. you know 10 years ago I might not have. been in the same place you know I might. have [ __ ] choked her out and killed. everybody in the damn house yeah you. know um but I didn't feel any different. about her and she was such a Guang she. didn't budge she didn't make a face she. didn't move you know like when he said. that out loud the whole room got.
silent and I just said Paul we're not. here to talk about that right now now's. not time she passed that. night. um you know and I don't know what the. reason was you know could have been a a. numerous. things do you think Paul knows the. reason they all did and you know what as. much because we you know. there's two brothers and there was two.
brothers two. sisters um to my. dad might be more that I'm missing just. not thinking right now but in the tight. Circle and I don't hold it against any. of. them I know that at this point I've had. you know conversations with a of few. other people and it was one of those. moments where it was like damn we just. lost our brother we don't want to lose. our sister whatever the instance was if.
it was an accident if it was you know. Heat of the Moment if they were arguing. gun went off whatever it. was. uh it. was. definitely. um something that they all made a pack. wow and held on to which I I respect you. know. um and you know it sucks.
that I'll never know what really. happened like I would have loved to have. had one more day with her to just say. hey baby look I'm not mad at you I just. want to know what happened you know like. like what what to bring some closure to. myself which closure was already met. because when I was told that he didn't. die from a. suicide that was closure from that one. chapter where I was suicidal my whole. life thinking that living with that.
regret and thinking that I could have. changed. that but then when my uncle told me that. he had been killed then you got another. 20 years where I'm like revengeful and. like well who killed him I want to know. like what was it you know my dad was a. hustler he had I found out he had made. he had won $8,500 G that night he was. going through a. divorce with my little brother's mom. um you know was there somebody that was.
jealous behind that did they rob him. like you know so then finding out that. it was her did bring closure to. that second you know time period of. living with Revenge cuz now I don't have. Revenge you know I got rid of the regret. then I got rid of the Revenge so it. brought me to a place of just utter. peace with that. situation um that you know tormented me. since I was 10 in different different. ways and different aspects making me.
suicidal making me violent making me. seek revenge. um guilt you know so definitely Clos the. chapters you know close some really. great closure I would love to just know. I would have loved to known you know. what really happened that night but. um it it is good to you know have that. find that peace whatever the cost may be.
you know yeah well let's go back to when. you were after your dad. died there's a lot of lessons that I. learned in it you know um I've been. selling weed selling. pills um. cocaine here and. there the 16-year-old kid that came and. got weed from me um he was living on his.
own took care of his mom she he he lived. in his own place had a baby had a wife. you know young hispanic kid 16. 17 he would come and get weed from me. fronted he worked a full-time. construction job hardworking kid you if. you met him you'd think he was 25 30. like um young guy. though and uh he was getting weed front.
it from me you know 10 lbs at a time for. a while pay his. bills. um he tells me one day he's like man. he's like I'm tired of nickel and. Diamond he's like I'm going to see my. family he leaves goes and sees some of. his family comes back the man like this. man comes back with a semi following. him um set up a whole. organization um and I can talk about a.
lot of this because the statue. limitations are passed but um and I just. fell right into fell right into line you. know it was one of those things it's. like you know I learned early especially. in the drug business I may be the boss. today you may be the boss tomorrow you. got two op options either fight each. other or fought in line work together. you know a motor has a thousand.
Parts um thermostat being one of the. smallest ones but if that thermostat. goes out that whole motor is going to. run hot and not run you know so always. always never had jealousy it was always. play your position you know. um same way he played his position when. I was the big guy you you know so kid. comes back and uh he was you know he had. a uh a lot of Big.
Dreams he. uh started getting huge loads in so he's. obviously connected with the one of the. Mexican cartels well there was yeah. there was actually. um he was from Honduras he's actually in. hondures right now okay uh they send him. back uh still have contact with him you. know he's. turned his life around uh as much as you. can in Honduras M you know like since. he's been over there he's been.
shot um ran over by the police been in. couple huge accidents like it's it's a. different world over there for sure and. he was born in he was born in Honduras. but brought here when he was three oh. God so he had lived here his whole life. when uh when we went down he was 24. um and a multi. multi-millionaire but they you know of. course they took everything he.
had. um so you know there was loads coming in. every way that we could find a a way to. get them in you know sometimes by. Vehicles sometimes by planes sometimes. by um you know car semi what whatever. you know there's a lot of different ways. of Transport uh when I was actually. doing Transportation we'd have false. bottoms and pickup truck beds um Dash.
compartments you know where the whole. airbag would come out like a lift up. like a [ __ ] Transformer you know car. and. uh. so uh that load got. busted um at the airport yeah what was. it in it was in the airplane it was in. the airplane I mean in a suitcase um I'm. not sure how it was actually packaged. that time okay there was you know um.
there was also a load that came up at. the same time in a truck and that's what. caught it all was there was a guy on the. case who had got busted and he was. giving them he didn't want to snitch on. us or rat us out but the feds had him. and they were he was spoon feeding them. whatever he could to stay. free so one thing led to another where.
um they had had enough of enough. surveillance and they had GPS on a lot. of the. vehicles so they caught an actual. truck coming. up it. delivered they caught the truck coming. out with cash. um small amount of cash trans. Transporters only get like per unit okay.
paid but they get paid cash right then. per unit so say he was transporting 50. kilos of cocaine he was getting a th000. bucks a kilo the transporter was so he. made the drive from Southern. California to Nashville made 50 grand. three days. right um catch him with the. cash uh same night they hit four. different. houses found one with like half a. million dollars cash in it um found a.
house full of. guns um there had actually just been a. robbery a couple weeks before that where. they got my guy and us. um for you know a large large amount of. money so it was kind of like when when. they busted it was like on a rebound. um. and uh I don't know the full details of.
the airport okay I just I know because. my where my portion of the case came in. was from the. truck the airport was. a uh same. load different route well correct me if. I'm wrong but the what I read was $2. million in cocaine at that time it was. actually 4 million what is $4 million in. cocaine how much is that uh there would.
be about 140 Keys 150 key uh let's see 4. million 150 Keys that's a lot of coke. yeah actually it would have been 200. Keys even more yeah. but you know they also do street value. so when they. say when they say $2 million all.
right when they say $2 million to US. that would be 80 keys okay to them that. could be 50 Keys cuz they they're. looking at street value compared to. wholesale gotcha so yeah $2 million. would have been 50 keys and then it was. another 5050 kilos in the truck so it. was what would have been $4 million. uh in reality you know probably three.
amongst. the two and a half amongst the two. loads. um but that's also before it we get it. and. re package it because you know we're. getting cocaine at a certain level a. certain percentage to where we're able. to break it back down to a paste with an. isy and. acetone reprint the. bricks and take you know 50 keys and.
turn it into 60 gotcha which is a quar. million dollar profit on a wholesale. level not even on a street value level. um just you know in a night of re. rebricking them you know are you given a. directive on how much you can. dilute it or uh no no it's all up to you. once it changes once it's in your hands. it's all up to you yeah it's ours but.
you know we sell we sold to a lot of. people that you know used it for uh. purposes to like recook so they would. you know turn it into crack which. anytime you're dealing with people that. are using it for that purpose it has to. stay pure enough to where they don't. lose okay cuz the take the product and. they'll cook it up to see what comes. back you know cuz it'll come down to its. purest form so and of course you want to.
always compete and have the best you. know unless you're just dumping it off. to make money you know but um there's a. lot more pride and Power in having. really good product go CH. so uh. never never never sold any bad bad [ __ ]. you know all right you don't stay in. business long if you do or you know the. guys that really diluted too much or.
um shortlived or you. know but uh yeah so drug bus. happens hits the hits the news. right um they're calling it The George. Burley. cartel right when when it first hits the. news. I'm looking at. a I'm watching the news so you see this. [ __ ] all happen yeah like literally see. it happen your shipment you're watching.
your shipment get busted not only that. I'm watching cuz the robbery had just. happened so they had when that happened. my guys lost all their guns so I had. just brought them a whole bunch of. guns um so I'm looking at all this COC. all this money all this. weed and some of my favorite guns I've I.
had ever owned in my life sitting on. this table on the [ __ ] news just like. holy [ __ ] they called it the George. Burley drug. cartel the name George Burley was just a. fake ID it wasn't anybody's real. name the guy who they had him booked at. first under George Burley then they. changed Octavian. Palmer is neither one of those were his. name you know um but the house I was. living in was under George Burley lights.
water all of that oh wow um so I'm. sitting there like literally looking at. the mini blinds like holy [ __ ] they are. coming for me full force to the point. that I moved out of the house took my. wife at the time and kids and went and. lived in a hotel in Brentwood in one of. those Extended Stays yeah like I've got. this 5,000 square foot house in.
Brentwood and I won't even step. foot on the. property um nine months go. by David came and got me I'm fighting a. federal case on pills. already uh I had a good friend of mine. I'd been dealing rewind a little bit I'd. been dealing with this girl for years um. getting Pharmaceuticals she would bring.
me tens of thousands of lur tab pain. pills um a week and I've been doing that. with her for a while how many about 20. 10 to 20,000 10 to 20,000 a week yeah. you you give rid all that every bit of. them faster than we could keep them. um my wife who's here with me now used. to break them out count them and run. them all over town for me she was my. best friend at the time you know and.
um crazy I had a I had a job I was the. uh maintenance Supervisor over apartment. complex in West Nashville where it's all. one-bedroom apartments and literally. gated community I could sit in an. apartment that I had rented showed as. rented. um to a fake file sit there and watch. every person come through that gate and. could run them down poor apartment. complex probably still has thousands of.
empty bottles behind the drywall yeah. you know but at our old little. organization in those apartments it was. uh it was long lived and uh you know but. so she had told me she said hey I want. to you know take a little break and I. was like all right cool like you know we. made a bunch of money so she takes a. break literally 6 months later she calls. me back like hey you ready to work again.
and I'm already doing fine with. everything else and I'm like yeah sure. like you know it's extra money we'. always done good business made a lot of. money. together she goes well all I have is the. big ones talking about oxycotton and I. was like I don't mess with those I had a. friend passed from them I'm watching the. opiate um you know you don't I didn't. feel feel as bad selling low tabs a lot. of people that buy low Tabs are the. construction workers the car dealers the. you know just the mechanics people that.
pop a couple pain pills and go on about. their day work take care of their. business still terrible drug but not to. the level that I'm watching. oxycotton destroy people's lives yep you. got a 10 milligram pain pill and you got. a 80 mgram pain pill that they're sting. and shooting injecting you know uh it. was a big difference for me morally in. the two drugs so I had never sold one or.
ingested one ever still to this day I've. never sold one or taken. one did 5 years in prison for. him so she calls she's like hey uh I got. these I'm like absolutely not one of my. best friends at the time Army Ranger. went and did two tours in Iraq I wore. his dog tags while we while he was gone. watched over his kids he was like man. dude my benefits ain't kicked in yet I.
don't I can't do anything with weed and. cocaine all the guys at the [ __ ] base. will buy these man you know they're. taking these pills please get them for. me so I'm like he's like look man you're. getting them for this price they sell. for this he was like I can make a lot of. money I'll make you some money so I was. like all right you know we'll get. him she's supposed to bring him to me. she calls me last minute says I need you. to meet me halfway to. Memphis I'm like all right cool jump in.
the truck driving out. there she calls hey my car is late. getting out of the shop I need you to. come all the way to. Memphis by this time I'm already halfway. there I'm like all right [ __ ]. it C her like hey where we meeting she's. like hey just meet me at Walmart I had. to run in Walmart real quick um just. meet me at this Walmart you know we'll. go do the deal I'm like all right cool. pull in it's me and him and um my ex-.
brother-in-law the one that passed. um and we pull. up she hops in the back of the. truck I got the radio up a little bit so. the the wire is not that good you know. but long story short I'll show her some. money she goes okay jumps out the truck. and runs across the parking. lot so automatically I'm scrambling hit. the button for the you know the dash.
pops up on all the vehicles that we. drove shove the money in. there and next thing I know lights. everywhere they hit the. truck no transaction went through they. didn't find the. money um they take us they interrogate. us they confiscate the truck put us out. in the the middle of Memphis like I. guess trying to be you know trying to. scare us or whatever so we get people to. come pick us up from.
Nashville don't hear anything month. later they come and arrest me I get uh. Bond of course I'm out on bond fighting. that case my guy who was the Army Ranger. uh I'm not going to say his name cuz I. would never do that to him um we're not. friends anymore of course he completely. told on me told him. everything gave him everything that he. could give him to save his ass and um.
you know I Justified it by saying you. know they would have took all his. benefits he was disabled he caught uh. kicked in a door some [ __ ] blew in his. face lost his lung behind it you know he. went through hell so um I just cut ties. with him he told on me but you know I. never seek revenge on him cuz you know. he was a really good friend. I uh every not every you can't expect.
everybody to [ __ ] really stand in the. face yeah of the federal government and. say no I'm going to [ __ ] own this and. take the fall you know. um I made the decision. too knowing. you know that I was going to be gone I. was going to go away from my. kids they were going to go through some. [ __ ] I was going to go through some [ __ ]. you know but I wanted to come out with.
my head high and know that I never Tow. on anybody and that I accepted my. [ __ ] um my charge and accepted my. responsibility and laid down and did. what I was supposed to cuz that's how I. was raised but you can't expect. everybody to do that. and eight out of 10 of them won't you. know you know that's why it's one of the. thousand reasons I would never sell. drugs again yeah. um but so I was fighting that case.
already and the big cocaine bus happened. and I'm just like I'm knowing they're. coming for me I'm. literally. um those 10 11 months. were. torture I mean you know you like I said. I lived in a hotel for a while then I. moved in actually me and jelly roll. moved in together. um got a place but it was like you.
didn't want to. really I didn't want. to you know grow any Roots anywhere yeah. cuz they're either come fixing to come. pick me up and charge me with millions. of dollars of cocaine a [ __ ] ton of guns. and a whole lot of. weed. um so you know it was it was a really. really rough time just knowing they were. coming but not knowing. when I get a call my guy's in there he's.
like hey man feds dropped the charge. we're all getting out they originally. arrested 11 of them I think the first. night um none of them. legal legal to a point you know what I. mean but all of them from different El. Salvador Honduras. Mexico and he calls me he's like man FZ. dropped the charge they didn't have. enough evidence so I'm like oh man like. [ __ ] yes my guys are coming home this. is behind us couple days later I get a.
call from the feds like always hey you. need to come take a drug test I'm like. all right cool go to take a drug test. I'm in gym clothes about to go to the. gym uh go to take a drug test go up take. my drug test they're like hey can you. just hang out for just a second somebody. needs talk to you like all right cool. and here they come uh hey we with the. you know drug task force Metro you're.
under arrest and I'm like for what and. they're like conspiracy of 200 kilos of. cocaine and 300 lb of marijuana in the. school. zone and I'm like [ __ ] all right so I go. in. um they set my. bond to half a million. dollars uh yellow wolf was one of the. first people that I called uh he's like. man I'll come make the bond you know I.
could get out 50 Grand he's like I'll. come make it um but then the feds put a. hold on me cuz I was already fighting. the federal case so it was one of those. days we was just like okay I'm here and. uh reality sunk in I was going to be. there for a while and I decided to make. the best of it but as the case went on. on. um of course the first offers they were. throwing around were like 40 50 years. for the. cocaine um it wasn't but a couple months.
into it when they started realizing they. didn't have as much we filed a motion to. get the GPS thrown. out the W all the wire Taps were illegal. as. [ __ ]. um. so as their case starts unraveling they. started they went from 40 for me to. 15 and of course I asked my lawyer I'm. like well it's 200 keys of cocaine 300.
lb of weed I've never been caught with. anything they don't have me talking. about anything but. money uh can we not just like plead out. and say that I was selling weed and he's. like yeah if you make a statement that. you were buying weed from these guys I. was like I'm not going to make a [ __ ]. statement that I was doing anything with. these guys you know like that's just. straight out snitching. so ended up uh I play guilty to cocaine. conspiracy a special. amounts uh got a 13-year sentence class.
a felony 13-year. sentence. um supposed to be run concurrent with my. fed time in the process I go to court. for the feds they give me 57 months for. attempt to possess with the intent to. distribute oxycotton. um which is the dumbest charge in the. attempted to possess with the intentions. to distribute y uh but it's it's all.
falls under conspiracy you know like I'm. a uh third time convicted drug. felon uh International drug trafficker. have all these tags and labels on my. record and I've never been caught with. anything wow um it's always been. phone conversation. hearsay or you know um. just wrong place wrong time for them you.
know but you were doing it oh I was 100%. doing it yeah. and that was why I didn't fight I F I. fought enough to make sure I wasn't. going to be gone forever you know like I. I got a great lawyer and you know we. made some valid points and you know. showed that they had holes in their. case but. um it was when I went to jail it was.
such a. relief it was like this. brick a pallet of bricks lifted off my. chest you know because I'm like okay I. don't now I have to of course I'm in. prison so I got to watch my back but I. don't got to watch over my shoulder for. the police I don't got to keep hiding. running um you know it was a uh as much. as prison is chaotic in its own it was.
such a piece from the mental and. emotional turmoil that you go through in. living in that life you know. um yeah so uh you. know prison was literally the best thing. that's ever happened to me how long were. you in prison for been 5. years did you feel like relieved the. whole time you were in there or when did. you start getting Nancy uh was off and.
on you know like I was I was relieved. when I got there and then of course you. want to get home you know I'm watching. my whole world fall apart I'm watching. the mother of my kids and my wife at the. time start dating other guys getting. into drugs again like when I left she. was sober so watching her fall back into. that vicious. cycle I'm calling home my 5-year-old. daughter uh is crying you know Mommy.
hasn't woke up all day you know I've got. a 10-month old baby at home a. three-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old. daughter 2 and a half-year old daughter. and a 5-year-old. daughter and having to talk my. 5-year-old through how to teaching her. how to make macaroni and cheese so she. can feed her siblings from a prison. phone because they haven't ate in two. days damn you know or hearing her cry.
because mommy's passed out on the front. porch and she won't wake. up um my 10-month old baby uh sincere my. son he was like one one and a half got. completely ran over by a car in the. driveway cuz they were all over there on. drugs and [ __ ] and just playing in the. driveway they backed over him like. literally and then backed back over him. when they realized they had ran over him. luckily he was just soft enough as a.
child to not break any bones but had. like tire tracks in his [ __ ]. forehead Jesus. um know not going to say names but had. daughters molested in drug. houses. um you know. just everything just crumbling and just. falling apart and watching them just get. drugg in like kids couldn't come see me. cuz they were so ate up with bed.
bugs you know what I mean yeah and here. I just had them in this big mansion and. living this whole life and you know all. this money and thinking that I was doing. this for a righteous cause or to [ __ ]. give them a better life and I drugg them. through a deeper hole than I had ever. been through damn you know um and so it. was that realization that. like I have to let go of all those. [ __ ] irrational beliefs that were.
ever telling me that that was. okay. because right now in that moment I'm a. pure piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] you know what. I mean where I thought I was this Noble. standup father good father feed my kids. got them in nice schools nice clothes. driving fancy. cars now I'm just a dead beaten prison. in my kids are out there [ __ ] living.
the worst life. possible being drugged completely. through the mud by my. decisions you know um and that's what. really started me saying now [ __ ] this. I'm GNA get out I'm going to be a good. father I'm going to give those kids a. real life real stability. I'm going to break this cycle because. this is the same life that their mother. had lived you know I didn't live it as. much cuz my mom wasn't an. addict um had a lot of family members.
that were you know alcoholics and. addicts but not to the point where it. affected my childhood like that my mom. was a good [ __ ] mom and you know um. she may have dealt with a lot of abusive. husbands and [ __ ] like that but I didn't. I didn't have that kind of I didn't have. to go through. that and so watching them go through. that was like okay yeah this isn't it. this is. not what I want for them you know and. I'm going to make sure this never.
[ __ ] happens to them. again and I knew like I told you before. I knew I had lost control of anything. outside I I had friends incredible. friends that would go through and you. know break a little rent money half the. time it wouldn't get spent on rent you. know um. if there was you know a situation I. could you know get people to go help out. but we were only about I was only about. two years into my prison sentence when. she completely lost.
control and the kids went into foster. care luckily they went with some friends. of mine at. first um and throughout the whole time. they were in foster care they with. foster parents that I knew at least uh. there became one point where they were. getting close to going being separated. and sent to separate foster. homes and uh a lady stepped in and got. custody uh you know became a foster.
parent and fostered all of them but that. also came with me. like finding friends to make sure that. money was you know that extra money was. helping the kids and you know like it. was uh the last person that finally had. had them in her foster care here um you. know she was in love with me and that. was a whole turned into a whole another. thing where she was using them against. me to try to manipulate me to be with.
her when I came home so that was a. battle and then they were getting taken. from her or they had to be. uh adopted because they had been the. Foster system for too long so it got to. a point where it got down to the wire to. where like no you're gonna have to sign. these papers and never see your kids. again and not be allowed to reach out to. them. ever you know and I'm fresh out of.
prison at this point like absolutely not. like [ __ ] that whatever it takes. whatever whatever I got to do you know. and um within my new rational belief. system though of course you know cuz the. old me if I wouldn't have went through. everything I went through in prison. transitioning. and you know transforming into the man. that I am now you know I would have made. the same decisions when I came out and. that's what happens to a lot of guys.
they go in they make a lot of changes. they got all these goals and all these. aspirations and all this [ __ ] they're. going to do when they get out and when. you get out the [ __ ] life hits you. you know um obstacles obstacles. obstacles and you have to be able to. persevere you have to say I am not going. back there I will [ __ ] dig ditches I. will do whatever I got to do to make an. honest living I'm not going back to. prison and if you really have that. mindset you won't go back uh the the.
parole. system it's not designed to put you back. in prison it's designed to keep you out. transition you back into society and. help you build but so many people bucket. and they just had they had those same. irrational beliefs that it's US versus. them. you know that you know I hear it all the. time I'm sitting in my parole office I. got to go there every time I need a. travel pass and I'm sitting there and. I'm listening to these guys no she.
trying to violate me she doesn't want to. see me do good I can't get no job I. can't I'm sitting there like dude I've. seen guys come out of 25 year prison. bids for murder and get a job the next. day like if you want it you can have it. and that's something that I've I've. really been able to like like really. preach to my platform and my fan base is. like look man I came home 6 years ago. with nothing had an ankle bracelet. sleeping in my brother's.
basement 6 years later I've got custody. of my kids were in foster care 6 years. later I got custody of all of my kids we. got seven kids just bought my family the. biggest house we've ever stepped foot in. and then I give him this little spill. I'm like you know what I just did the. other day I was walking a family member. through the T through the house giv the. tour and after about the fifth time she. said it I had to stop her she kept. saying boy you so lucky I had to finally. say this ain't got nothing to do with. luck this is Faith and hard work the.
American dream is Alive and Well if you. want it you can have it you just got to. [ __ ] stand on your feet and grab it. you have to put the [ __ ] work in. faith and hard work that's all it takes. believe and believe in. yourself you know um so you know through. that whole process I've been up to. really it's giv me a purpose you know um. my kids of course give me purpose but. the fans give me such a purpose as well. I I get to see them meet them and.
they're like hugging me like man dude. your music got me off drugs got me. through a prison sentence got me through. a divorce took me back to my wife got me. back with my kids whatever they've been. through my music has been able to. inspire them to just keep. pushing and. those are the moments that fuel my next. step you know because I'm like man I. can't let these people down yeah I can't. take steps backwards they're looking at.
me like I made it out I I did time in. the streets I did time in prison I was. addicted to drugs I was addicted to the. life I've been you know I've been. through all of this and I'm just like. them but I made the decision to [ __ ]. change and. now you know here I am I beat the. statistics you know reiv Visions three. years and I think it's like 70% or some.
[ __ ] of people that that go back to. prison within the first three years like. I beat that twice now you know what I. mean like we're six years out I haven't. even had a speeding. ticket. um so you know being able to show people. that that's possible. has been uh and and to be able to be. inspired by their stories the strength. and hope in their eyes and what they've. gained from my music and what they've.
been through in their life and made it. through it just it continues to fuel. that fire and keep my Integrity in check. keep my my path in check you know well. that's definitely a positive message. when when did you discover your talent. in music. uh I've been writing poems since I was a. little kid I wanted to sing I wanted to. rap you know I was a 80s baby so by the.
time I was 10 11 rap music was really. you know coming to the world. and. uh huge Tupac fan you know. um. so I always love music I had the. opportunity like in summertime sometimes. to go on the road with whan when my mom. was singing back up and get to go see. shows and you know go on tour with him. riding the tour bus stay in hotel you.
know be backstage during whan's. concerts and so I always had like a love. for. music um deep deep deep like it's it's. what I I can I can literally pinpoint. every moment or. time in my life to a song oh like what. song was like just the soundtrack of. that year or that three months or that.
you know what I mean like um I've always. just really held on to music like that. and like really gravitated towards um. the emotion in music. so. um I always wanted to do it. early. teens you know while I'm selling drugs. and stuff I used to always take these. little tape recorders and record me. rapping freestyle. rapping.
um when I was. 21 I caught my first set of drug. charges for uh sale of 25 lbs of. marijuana and I went and did 13 months. for that came out was on Community. Corrections for three years single. father with Brianna little will which. are my two oldest Brand's now an artist. working on her second solo album 22. years old [ __ ] killing it that's. amazing.
um you know she's the one that I really. like changed my life. for and in the first time I changed my. life uh got off drugs and you. know but. uh I was sitting in jail then and in. 2002 and all these guys were over there. writing these songs and rapping like. they'd be in a circle in in county. jail so one day I was just in there I.
was like man I'm G to write a verse I'm. writing writing writing and I sat there. and practice it practice it practice it. came over there one day they were just. in the circle and I just got the nerve. up to walk over there and I just started. rapping and they were like oh [ __ ] like. we didn't know you wrapped and so. there's a friend of mine in there. he had a song on the radio but it caught. a Char drug charge and was sitting in. jail and uh got him little homie rip and. uh now he goes by Cashville Ace but um.
he was my S at the time and so then I. got out and recorded a song with him and. then I was like man I want to do this. friend of mine um his mother had passed. away and he got like a little settlement. or you know whatever he got from her. passing and he bought a home studio. so we put it in my apartment I was a. single dad with two kids and just. started recording songs and decided this. is what I want to do and of course it. wasn't paying the bills so it started in.
a small apartment oh yeah with your. buddy's inheritance yeah yep which. probably wasn't much he got like 17. grand he spent like five of it on some. studio equipment bought a car that got. stolen two weeks later and a bunch of. clothes that were in the trunk of the. car that got stolen and was completely. broken within 3 months of his mom died. but uh you know but we had the studio. you know for years and. um he.
uh yeah so it started in started in. there recording me and jelly roll met uh. I was out passing out flyers for a show. that I was. doing um selling my CD he was there. hosting a rap battle downtown and we. bumped into each other. and uh just became best friends and so. we did. music I was you know uh did good for. like six years till about 2008 and then.
I got back into the drug industry. probably. 2007 um got back into the drug industry. and you know took off from there why did. you get back in the drug industry were. you just getting discouraged that you. weren't yeah it was just straight up. like I literally got an eviction notice. on the door okay you know and I was. working fulltime worked at a restaurant. i' waited tables went back to working. for my uncle Tapo doing construction you. know winter time hit no work um by this.
time I'm had I've got two kids that I've. been a single dad with now I got a new. old lady her two brothers are living. with us cuz they're underage and their. mom's a drug addict um now I've had my. third child innocence. and it was just you know I had a lot of. mouths de feed and I I can sit here and. justify it but it was because I wanted. money you know and I could have went and.
tried to find a better job or picked up. a second job or there's a lot of things. I could have done in hindsight yeah but. in that moment with the belief system. and that I had been raised up with and. instilled with I was like man I ain't. got no choice yeah I mean [ __ ] you what. back to what you know yeah um and that's. how I got back in selling. drugs and then I got a record deal they. were going to do a movie about my. life uh signed to a record label out of.
New York named Mass. bomb uh they had another artist signed. at the time and came down started. recording records signed me to a deal um. went down to Atlanta recorded a bunch of. records with Drummer Boy Who at the time. had he's a hug huge producer had tons of. [ __ ] songs on the radio all the jezy. and pl and like you know all the stuff. that was happening right then and then.
the owner of the label was F father. passed. away and you know his dad was. his best friend Mentor father you know. uh and so he just kind of like lost his. [ __ ] and shut the label down. and I had quit selling drugs again you. know was just living off the label and. you know just recorded this album fixing. to try to you know have my big break and.
then that tragedy happened in his family. and uh he shut the label down I went. back to selling drugs got super. discouraged was like [ __ ] music you know. this this isn't it for me I'm tired of. you know doing it still ended up. releasing the project as like a mi mix. tape um and then he came back uh I got. indicted for the federal charge right. after I got indicted for the federal. charge he hits me up like hey man like.
you know I'm so sorry man you know I. just had some personal [ __ ] I had to. deal with my Dad L you know dying and I. was like well I'm going to prison I just. caught a Federal. indictment and he's like man I'm so. sorry I was like well it's not your. fault you know what I mean. like but so then he jumped back into the. picture we ended up scurrying between. that year and a half that I was fighting. that Federal charge before all the state. [ __ ] happened and I you know got picked. up on the cocaine.
bust he jumped back into the picture and. we were just working I was recording. recording recording recording and that's. where Outlaw [ __ ] came from which now. has 60 million views and started an. entire genre damn um. that's you know um so and then he stuck. by my side all the way through prison. like he started my Instagram I was in. prison when Instagram started you know. he started my Instagram started my.
YouTube channel started everything and. really helped build my brand I would. write these like inspirational letters. from prison he would [ __ ] type them. up and post them you know and built my. fan base through my entire journey of me. before prison and going into prison and. he still my right-hand man he's the one. that I said he's in Florida right now. he's usually following me with a camera. cuz uh I do we we have documentary. footage starting in 2007 nice to today.
nice me going to prison and me getting. out of prison holy [ __ ] um like he. picked me up from prison um with the. cameras wow so we've got which there's. some great episodes on YouTube um I. think there like 15 maybe 17 episodes. before prison and then after. prison uh but they're getting. pulled pretty soon cuz we're gearing up.
to get that puppy on Netflix that's. awesome yeah cuz it's uh we've got a lot. that never that we never put on YouTube. because it was like too dark and too. deep we've got final interviews from the. mother of my child of my children before. she died like in fullblown heroin out in. the middle of the streets like some. gangster [ __ ] like damn dude so we've. got you know we've got we got a lot of. stuff that we haven't put out so we're.
working on putting that together as a. collective ho now but so you know he. came back in we were scurrying we got uh. I am strug we got uh IM am. struggle finished right before I went to. prison and then of course I got we. didn't know I was going to get get. locked up when I got locked up we. released Outlaw [ __ ] the morning they. arrested me the morning the morning dude. like so I was on a high I was like I. just got my first video out you know and.
then boom I got arrested that. morning so uh you know. watching there was no country. rap when I released that like col. forward was kind of starting and had. like a little you know name buzzing but. there was no like major country rap. records and I hear I had a whole project. of them. um so as we dropped that it just really. sparked this whole genre you know of.
music that is. now massive but. uh so he yeah he stuck by my side. through all that um through prison and. did you release anything when you were. in prison well I released that album. when I was in prison and that album had. a song on it called black curtains and. it was a sample of whan singing a white. room and a white room with black. curtains all right and uh the song is.
talking about me breaking the cycle from. my father to me to my. son I'm sitting in county jail and. they're like man we really need to shoot. a video we got to figure out how to. shoot a video so they shoot this whole. storyline and they're like man we just. really need to get some footage. you so this camera crew they had already. been in and done a couple documentaries. for people in. prison and nashal scen had just come in.
there and did a interview with me for an. article they were doing on me so I was. like well y'all can try so they get in. they come in we do an interview like me. and you are doing um I give a whole. bunch of inspirational stuff which has. all been used in document. stuff but then we're sitting there and. the the pr for the the publicist for the. jails there and they're like would would. you mind if he. wrapped this verse and she's like oh no.
that would be cool so I wrap the verse. turn it into a music video get sued they. try to take us take it down the sheriff. at the time [ __ ] he Lo loses his [ __ ]. he actually walked in on his kids. watching the video oh [ __ ] right and. here it is an inmate in County Jail. maximum security in my uniform. raing rapping and then the camera.
following me through their [ __ ] jail. holy [ __ ] you know what I mean so like. he was super. pissed we had all the proper paperwork. signed yeah uh but it all the news I'm. in prison by this point right I had. already got moved from jail to prison so. if anybody wants to know the layout of. the Nashville jail they just got to. watch your video down now yeah yeah they. could have they could have um but so I'm. sitting in prison they're like struggle.
you're on [ __ ] the news I'm like oh. God here we go they got another. indictment like some other bust is. happening it's going down and I go in. there and it's literally my music video. is playing on the news you can look it. up it is [ __ ] hilarious and that poor. publicist she was just trying to she was. trying to scramble to save her ass you. know what I mean she was like we were. completely duped he you know they they. acted like they were coming in here to. do a documentary and then we didn't know.
they were going to turn into a music. video which we did do the documentary is. out like we didn't lie we. just used it to our advantage to get. some things that we needed to get some. extra curricular yeah um thank God I was. already in prison by the time that. happened or probably would have sent. some of them goons in there to beat my. ass sherff he was so mad he tried to. make us take it down but we had all the. proper paperwork so we just refused and. they let it sit up and the thing was is.
it was a really good [ __ ] story it's. a good message you know so as much as. much as they wanted to try to you know. be mad it's like [ __ ] what are you do. you know so that that hit and went viral. uh while you were in yeah that fire. everybody up in prison oh yeah no that. was nuts and I didn't actually get to. see the whole video um. until I was being transported I made. parole from the state and I was being.
transported to the feds so they'll throw. you in a van dude they'll take you to. these little podu towns going from State. Prison which was in East Tennessee all. the way down to O osilla Georgia and. then fly me from Atlanta to Oklahoma but. that to where their uh classification is. the feds but allthough they' like take. me in a van Dro me off at the county. jail and dip Out 3 Days Later another.
van come pick me up take me to another. County jail so I was like in this. transportation for like a month and one. of those little County jails I was. sitting in the holding cell and one of. the guards kept looking at me and I was. like man I don't think he guy likes me. he's like hey man are you struggle. Jennings and I was like yeah. and he's like he's like man I [ __ ]. love them Outlaw [ __ ] and black curtains. video and I was like dude I haven't even. got to see black curtains he said what. you have now and he turned this big.
screen around and hit play on that thing. I I'm sitting in a jail cell you know. through glass but I got to watch the. video for the first time oh that's I. just I bald like a baby [ __ ] so. emotional like so it was you know I was. gaining Steam and momentum while I was. in there um and of course Yellow Wolf. was one of my best friends before jelly. roll was my best friend before and so. they're gaining a bunch of momentum. yellow wolf ins sign with him and M. Jelly Rose climbing up the ranks you.
know um busting his ass touring and. putting out music and the whole time. they're screaming Free Struggle free. Struggle free struggle so when I came. home I had that. sense of hope also you know watching. them making it. and them both saying bro it's possible. just don't go back to prison just keep. working like it's possible so I hit the. ground with just Full Faith and uh full.
motivation and full you know um. determination and discipline and. dedication and you know just stuck to it. stuck to my guns and kept doing it and. it's just continued to grow you know. that's incredible. what what was the next big hit after you. got out so when I first got out yellow. wolf produced a whole project on me and. there was one on there called like. father like son kind of the same thing.
as black curtains is talking about the. you know my grandfather and then my dad. becoming who my grandfather was and then. me becoming who my dad was um and it's a. point in my show every night still where. I get to give a speech and say you know. the biggest thing that I learned in. prison was I got to got to be the man I. would want my sons to be I got to be the. man I would want my daughters to date. you know it's up to me to break that. cycle. um and I tell them to go home and raise.
those boys to be the [ __ ] men we need. you know it's like a really good. powerful moment but in the show but that. was the next uh big hit that came out. and I was fresh out of you know fresh. out of prison and um they had tried to. send me back once because I was. releasing these documentary series on. YouTube and the the federal halfway. house was like oh [ __ ] no like the FED. were like no what are you doing like.
you're not allowed to do this you know. um and so they tried to send me back. violated me what hold on you're not. allowed to do what release content no. why not well at the time you weren't. because that's not like you're supposed. to be doing this okay you're supposed to. have a job go to work every day like how. like so one of the the the loophole. where they were trying to send me back.
was because when I left the federal. prison they give you 5 hours to get to. the halfway house it's a three-hour. Drive I haven't seen my kids in five. years sushi restaurant Habachi. restaurant one block from the halfway. house I stopped and ate with my kids. they told me I could couldn't Veer From. the Path so I thought that meant like. don't go way out the [ __ ] way don't. be somewhere you're not supposed to be I. stopped to eat before I went to the. halfway house with my kids hadn't seen. my kids in 5 years well I had seen them.
in like visit but first time seeing them. free and uh so they used that saying. that I wasn't supposed to stop and eat. is what they were trying to violate me. for but the lady was like total [ __ ]. about it she was like listen you know I. think your message is [ __ ] I think. you're just another convict uh you know. I saw I watched your little documentary. series uh I don't I don't fall for any. of it you know you're going back to.
prison I go to I go to work that day. which was at the studio I was employed. at a studio so I could record um but I. wasn't allowed to record I was having to. say that I was just working at the. studio so that I could be there. recording and uh. so I go that day tell my kids I'm gone I. got to go back to prison for a year so. sorry they cried we hugged [ __ ]. emotional terrible time I go back to the.
halfway house and staff's like yeah man. Marshall should be here in the morning. to get you you got to go back like all. right man so I pack up all my [ __ ] you. know my buddy comes and picks up. everything so that I don't got you know. I don't got tow nothing there. they come wake me up early in the. morning he's like come on man I'm like. all the Marshall's here he's like no. come on so I go down there and that lady. that was violating me is on the phone. and she's just giving it to me.
everything I just told you is what she's. saying I don't believe your messages or. [ __ ] she said but somebody above me. seems to think different so I'm putting. an ankle bracelet on your ass and you. got one more chance I'm like oh. [ __ ] like I got one more chance I'm like. okay. so they hang up with her no she she's. actually in the room she gets up and. leaves they hit speaker phone on the. phone that's in there and this lady. comes across and she was like I just.
want to tell you that I love your. message she was like I'm actually going. to start using your documentary as. training for my uh for all of the. federal government staff on transition. houses because we tend to get too caught. up in black and white and forget the. greatness is in the gray areas I had to. put the ankle bracelet on you because. that lady was giving us hell and she. wanted it she was like but in return I'm. going to give you an extra 10 hours a.
week free to record your album she was. like go out there and make us proud and. [ __ ] yeah it was like so there's an. episode about it on YouTube called. Silver L. um but so I you know I had a lot of [ __ ]. like that happen you know know that. that's amazing yeah that is. amazing do you keep in touch with her no. I don't but I'm going back yeah um.
actually Devin was supposed to set it up. with uh the charity that does all the. federal halfway houses and go back and. speak oh man that would be yeah that. would be huge you know they kind of want. you know I'm getting to that point now. where I've Prov. that I'm not going back yeah you know. they don't they're really careful about. who they let come back in there A lot of. times it'll be somebody that's like 10. 15 20 years released you know what I. mean yeah and.
um but I'm getting to that point now. where like now I'm coming off a state. proo so I can go back into the state. facilities I can go into a lot of these. places like right now I'm kind of. confined to like public schools which. I've went and done um Public Schools. I've went and done some. rehabs so but now being able to get back. in those actual facilities and get. clearance to like go into jail prison. Federal halfway houses and be able to. share this with people that are because.
I I share it every. night with a bunch of [ __ ] survivors. you know people that are in that crowd. that have been through Hellen. back and uh but I think it'll be even. more effective itive to be able to do it. to the guys that are right there on that. edge cuz when you're coming home or. you're about to come home from prison. like that's when you're on that edge or. when you're in prison what are you going.
to do with the rest of your. time CU you walk into prison there's. really only two kind of guys you got the. guys that are gambling smoking eating. honey buns watching TV all day maybe. working you know just getting by really. just living that. life and then you got the guys that are. [ __ ] reading every book they can. they're training like [ __ ]. animals they're better they're going to. every class they can they're bettering. themselves and as soon as I got to.
prison I knew what where I wanted to be. I didn't want to be [ __ ] smoking. cigarettes which I'll smoke again now. but I didn't want to be in there smoking. cigarettes [ __ ] eating honey buns. watching TV wasting my time I wanted to. become the best person father human. being that I could become um and I did I. took every class what kind of classes. were you taking I took every class I. took psychology I took parenting I took. health and nutrition I took.
um I did all the drug. programs um anger managements to the. point where I was teaching the classes. by the time I left wow. uh because that's you know I of course I. had a passion to grow and to become. better but then that turned into a. passion. to help others become the best people. they could be and I've always had a good. job with uh I've always had you know. been really good.
at relating to people you know um made. me super effective like when we were in. the drug program and I ended up becoming. you know like a mentor in there to be. able to dig into some of these guys that. were Stone Cold Killers that were you. know had been through didn't trust a. [ __ ] person on the face of the planet. you know and being able to crack that. shell and get down in there you know and. say hey bro you can do this and I've got. a couple of them that I still talk to to. this day I just talk to one we're.
talking about setting up a family. vacation together this guy was toughest. of the tough born in a [ __ ] uh Border. Town whole family you know half white. half Hispanic cartel running [ __ ] back. and forth and this guy had a super rough. life now he's you know making a couple. hundred grand a year welding owns his. own [ __ ] iron business like d and and. this dude I didn't think he'd ever make. it out of prison I mean I did I saw it.
in him but like all the signs were there. that he was going to if he even got out. he was going to come right back yep and. now you know but I I I worked my ass off. to like really you know crack that shell. he had and um he put a lot of work work. in and now he's great he's got all his. kids you know he's living the dream. you're going to have a lot of impact on. these guys I think so and I'm really. excited for it and I really think that. it would be an.
incredible. um incredible phase in my life to be. able to go in there and and do that I. mean do you realize the the impact you. might have definitely yeah definitely. which it's uh intimidating but at the. same time it's like bring it on like you. know but that comes with me keeping my. Integrity intact too that's the that's. that's the toughest part about it yeah. is like you know I was telling you. earlier that I just recently slowed down.
on drinking and quit I quit drinking at. shows cuz I was starting to lean on that. and um saying I couldn't you know go out. there and perform without having a few. drinks few drinks turns into a bottle of. tequila and so I'm going out and I'm. giving this powerful message every night. and then I'm going back on the bus and. I'm [ __ ] face drunk and I'm laying there. like feeling like I'm making this huge. impact and I'm doing God's work but I'm. sitting here preaching to these people.
drunk as [ __ ] you know and so and of. course I was beating my body up and. stuff but more than anything it was just. that that um spiritual battle that I was. in yeah you know like you weren't the. example that you wanted to be exactly. like I'm sitting there telling them that. they can do this they can do that all. they got to do is get their life right. and half the ones in the room it might. have been alcohol they might be. full-blown alcoholics and that's what. was stopping their life from.
progressing and I might have been too. you know uh definitely know that you. know since I SW you know slowed down and. quit drinking um I've lost 50 lbs I'm in. the best shape of my life so it was. definitely holding me back from reaching. goals that I wanted to reach yeah and I. noticed that I'm a lot sharper and stuff. you know uh mentally mentally. emotionally as. well um feel like I'm falling apart I.
think that tequila was keeping me good. and lubed. up I quit I quit drinking my knees. started popping I'm like. damn the Gabi had me uh had me fluid I. got to grease the wheel. yeah but you know and even now you know. I still I still have a drink every once. in a while you know it's picking your. battles like um if I know that in 2. weeks from now uh I've got an event that. I want to have a couple drinks at with a. couple buddies I won't drink till then.
there's a lot of nights when you. know friends might be having a drink or. a glass of wine and I'll be like I could. have one you know that'd be fine and I'm. like [ __ ] I got legs tomorrow you know I. got I got a big chest workout tomorrow. I'm going to skip it tonight yeah you. know so I just just setting your. priorities you know knowing your limits. knowing your. boundaries and finding that balance you. know let's talk about God we need you.
now yeah when that came out was. incredible I mean so I'll tell you the. how the song came. about um Kaylin Curtis is an artist that. I signed uh to angels and outlaws my. label. and we had been working on her album uh. working on my new. stuff 2020 is in full swing all right.
so everything's kind of still being. figured out you know like okay here's. this Co thing is it real is it not real. The Mask we got to wear the mask oh [ __ ]. the [ __ ] these masks you know all all of. it was kind of cycling you know we're. like as things are happening we're just. figuring it out as people uh with the. information that not that we're given. cuz you know of. course uh we're searching for. information right um anybody that I am.
close with you know we're going to find. our own information we're not just going. to be fed what's given so so I'm like. you know I'm reading this stuff and I'm. in the studio and I'm kind of on my. rants you know I'm like man this is. crazy you seeing this you seeing this. and. Caitlyn wasn't she didn't she didn't. know anything about right or left or you. know what I mean like um not into. politics she didn't grow up in a. political house I didn't either you know.
uh most of my life I thought I was a. Democrat cuz I was poor and I had food. stamps and I thought this was the way it. was supposed to be you know it wasn't. until I became a man a father a business. owner you know a taxpaying American that. I was like oh no [ __ ] what the [ __ ] like. absolutely not that's interesting is. that is that a commonality super growing. up like that you just automatically. assume oh we're Democrats automat 100%.
because the Democrats have been so good. at masking themselves as for the people. right with welfare Health. Care you know Racial equality whatever. the issue is they do a great job at. mascul I mean Malcolm X was talking. about it you know saying that the the. biggest enemy was the white liberal. because they would they were wolves and.
sheep clothing they would mask like they. were and they would always. use um you know black powerful leaders. to try to get their message out. right um they've been guilty of that for. centuries uh. but so I always thought I was a Democrat. because you know I live in the. hood I got I'm on welfare I've got food. stamps you know. um that was just how I was raised.
thinking that that's what it was I. didn't know anything about real politics. you know. until I became until it started to. affect my life you know till I started. seeing taxes till I started seeing it's. like hold up no I'm not fixing I don't. want to give 50% of my. money so that this person that doesn't. won't get up off the [ __ ] couch can. live the same way as me like um you.
don't like doing that oh absolutely not. I refuse I refuse dude like when I. started getting into conversation about. socialism dude I literally had one of my. favorite artists in the entire world I'm. not going to mention his name sitting in. the studio and he go struggle but don't. you understand guys like me you we just. have a knack to make money you know we. we have a lot of drive and shouldn't we. give 50 60% in taxes so that people that. are lazy or just don't have the same.
drive we have can enjoy the same life. that we. do it's a real conversation yes this I'm. beginning to think that liberal is a. mental. disorder seriously. the far Lial I don't know [ __ ]. whatever I got some liberal friends and. you know whatever but.
like yeah no they really believe that. [ __ ] I literally had an argument with. another friend of mine he's like I'm. like bro this is the only country that. you can come from nothing and become a. [ __ ] billionaire dog because of the. American dream because because because. of capitalism and because of. conservative beliefs and he goes yeah. struggle but in socialist countries. nobody comes from. nothing I'm like yeah but nobody has. anything past this you know what I mean.
like there's a ceiling you can't that's. the beauty of the American dream is you. can go as high as you [ __ ] want if. you're willing to put the work in take. the [ __ ] chances. sacrifice you can have whatever you want. that's the beauty of the American dream. you know um and yeah it's a real. conversation interesting I've not had to. have that convers any. friends we don't have a lot of that in. the military yeah.
yeah god um so God we need you a lot of. it in the music. business yeah um I've heard so God we. need you now so I was doing my rant and. you know um Caitlyn sends me a voice. note a couple days later she was like. Hey I kind of got this from what you. were saying the other day and this was. just on my heart boom and I hear and. it's that hook and I'm like holy [ __ ]. this is a [ __ ] hit you never really.
know a music you know like you can hear. thousand songs and everyone that you. really love they don't and the ones that. you hate end up being the ones you have. to perform for 20 years they love it. yeah you never know what a hit record is. you just got to keep recording music and. [ __ ] hope the [ __ ] sticks so hold on. now I'm getting off track but [ __ ] it so. when you record an album what maybe 12. Songs in an album 10 12 songs yeah you. don't know which one's going to be a hit. absolutely you don't you're not like. this is the one no you hear it you say.
that a bunch of times yeah and you're. like oh this is the one and it's not the. one it's the one that you're like [ __ ] I. don't really like this song but I think. they might like it I don't know and you. put it out and it goes haywire and then. for 10 years you got to [ __ ] can perform. this song that you. hate Bubba Sparks miss new booty dude he. still gets paid $5,000 to walk in the. strip club and perform miss new Beauty. new miss new booty and he [ __ ] hates.
that song damn you know no [ __ ] yeah. it's like his least favorite song he's. ever recorded but he has to do it. because that's what he got that's that's. the one that blew but you called this. one I I called this one I said this is. going to be a big song it's going to be. great it needs to be heard even if it. [ __ ] flops if 10 people hear it and. it brings them closer to God and makes. them stronger and makes them rally up. and [ __ ] feel strength right now in. this time of uh where a lot of people.
are feeling weak and vulnerable and. Afraid and fearful if this gives just a. handful of people a little bit more. oomph and their [ __ ] fight then I'm. happy right but I knew it was a good. song so we released it. did good five million views I think on. YouTube it's like oh yeah boom in a. couple months like it was smoking I was. like oh this is great then it starts to. die down we release the next.
single next thing you. know right back to the top I'm like what. is going on every viral video uh. Caitlyn's working it on Tik Tok you know. um and it just it translated and it just. snowballed and snowballed and all a. sudden I'm watching us climb the charts. climb the charts and then here's little. um what's that weirdo's name nzx knocked. him out the top damn and I'm like man.
they just they put a million dollars. behind this guy's album we didn't put a. dollar that means the people are. speaking damn right that means the that. and that's that's iTunes so that means. they're hitting by that's not just. people listening to it that's them. hitting. purchase number. one uh most sold rap song two weeks in a. row on Billboard wow during those two.
weeks lunax. dropped um cardi B dropped and Drake. dropped his whole album at one point I. was number one and Drake had the next 19. slots on. iTunes damn for all his songs off that. album had you had you ever been on the. charts before yeah yeah we hit iTunes. charts quite a bit like when we first. released we'll have a day or two where. we're you know on the top of the iTunes.
charts because we got a great fan base. Yep this was singles this was one song. never had a song do that damn this is. and we you know me and jelly had fall in. the fall it's a gold record it didn't do. that wow so. um number one and it sat number one. between number one and number five. skipping back and. forth for like four or five months oh.
[ __ ] on iTunes now it was on number one. on Billboard two weeks in a row was the. longest I think it might have hit two or. three times but um for the long is two. weeks in a row that's billboard that's. every [ __ ] song in the world that's. all genres yeah so well on the billboard. it was rap okay uh but on iTunes it was. all genres yeah holy [ __ ] that's [ __ ]. incredible and you know I tell them. every night I'm like no record label no.
management no publicist no big budgets. no marketing strategy just a song from. the heart and the people and I let them. know every night I'm like when I watch. Lil NX and cardi B get knocked out at. top slot I I knew and it solidified that. the people's voice is still worth more. than all the corporate sponsorships all. the dollars that those corporations can. throw around the power is still in the. people and that song proved it last year.
damn that's amazing. so that is amazing now I got to try to. follow it up [ __ ] so what's what's next. So speaking of that what is next what do. you got coming got a new album coming. working on it right now um actually. we'll be recorded on it today um album's. called Monte Carlo Monty Carlo mhm. when's that coming out uh it'll be out. in November nice uh going to start. releasing singles for it end of. July do you want to make any predictions.
on what's going to be the. hit no cuz I haven't recorded half. of still working on it but the. album I think and I think you'll love. this concept. I bought a 84 Monte. Carlo uh completely. original with all the chaos that I've.
seen that I've been. through and the complexity of my life. and all the [ __ ] that I deal with I find. my most peaceful. moments in the simplest things and the. Simplicity right so like getting in that. 84 Monte Carlo just has a [ __ ] radio. I don't even got to plug to plug the. phone up I can't even charge my phone in. the car right and just turning on that.
radio and driving just this basic you. know. 1984 the smell of the seats smell of the. motor reminds me of my. childhood you. know but it's so. peaceful just driveing that car I don't. have all the distractions all the. buttons I can't you know answer my phone.
through the [ __ ] speaker you know. what I mean like it's just that. Simplicity that brings like a state of. Peace in the complex chaotic world I. live in right so I said you know what. I'mma Buy that I'm drive this car every. day to the. studio and I want to. convey whatever comes from that the. Nostalgia of the car the chaos that I've.
been through the peace that I found the. complexities and the. simplicities I want to bundle that all. into one project and tell my. story. so it's turned out pretty [ __ ] cold. that's aome yeah and it's a lot more. country I'm I'm actually singing a lot. on it um some of the songs have uh 80s. Vibe.
um it's it's all over the place it's. going to be one of those albums that it. doesn't matter what kind of music you. like there'll be a song for you that's. you know it's like going to be that if. you were to sit there and run through. that race radio that little turn KN. radio and stop every other channel. that's what it's going to feel like. something's on there for you something's. on there for you nice I can't wait to. hear it yeah I'm.
excited when you uh when you get it. released oh before I get it released. I'll send you a link I'll send you a. private link do you do vinyl do you. release vinyl I have been trying to do. vinyl you know the problem with vinyl. and I'm I'm going fix it this year the. only problem with vinyl is this life. like all these places that print vinyl. are like 8 to 12 to 16. weeks oh [ __ ] how much time they need. yeah so to order enough vinyl you know.
you're talking about. $102,000 to make a a nice vinyl. order that's a lot of money to throw. away for six months waiting on it to. come back I got you you know what I mean. it's like that's an investment but I am. this year we're going to do vinyl cuz I. love vinyl well if you do vinyl I got a. request I need one signed by you so I. can frame it and put it up in the studio. like a museum in here got I got you I'm. going to do a vinyl but uh man best of.
luck to you I can't wait to hear it and. man I just you and your six six artists. under your record label yeah five I'm. the sixth yeah I just wish you guys the. best of luck the message you're putting. out now you know where you came from is. just I mean you don't hear a lot of. positive [ __ ] in the world anymore you. know and from what you've come from and. what. you've morphed into I mean it's amazing.
and it can bring a hell of a lot of. people hope and the and the fact that. you're going to be going back and. speaking you know to guys coming out of. prison and show in your living proof hey. you know there is a [ __ ] second. chance and if you really work at it you. know life can be beauti beautiful yeah. don't take it for granted cuz you on and. on your end you know a lot on my end I. know a lot of guys that didn't get a. second chance yep yep first time they. got hit first time they're gone you know.
and so for the guys like us that did get. second third fourth fifth six chances. don't take it for granted yeah you got. another opportunity I you know I like to. tell them every night if you're here. your story has not ended. let your past Define you make it refine. you you know I use the analogy of gold a. lot to make gold pure you put it in the. fire you pull it out you wipe off the. imperfections put it back in the fire. don't be afraid of the fire yeah fall in.
love with those Flames make them purify. you you got to go through [ __ ] to. appreciate you know the you got to go. through bad [ __ ] to appreciate the good. but like uh you. know my whole life people say you ready. and I said I was born ready I finally. realized I was not [ __ ] born ready I. had to go through I had to go through. hell to get ready yeah to to be able to. handle to be worthy of and to be.
deserving of the blessings and the life. that I have right now I had to [ __ ]. go through some things you know and now. I don't take it for. granted and so good for you yeah that's. incredible appreciate it one last last. question let's get it if you had three. people to recommend to come on this show. who would they. be I would love to see Wes Whitlock on.
here you'd like to see Wes Whitlock I I. would like to see it just to see what. what. um have you have you had a chance to. tell him does he know about you wearing. the oh yeah he sent it he sent it over. to us that was many was a long time ago. yeah that's cool I would like to see. that that reenel. um.
man that's a hard. question who do I want to really know. the deep dark truth. of I told my wife outside I said man. another 30 45 minutes with that guy he. going to get some [ __ ] out of me nobody. knows. get Matthew MCC on here oh man no you. know somebody that you that would be. [ __ ] badass on here who I just opened.
up for him and he's a [ __ ] batshit. crazy wild and Real Deal Ted nent Ted. nent the N dude know I just opened up. for him in Panama City [ __ ] up I. got you I got you I I'll call his wife. this week perfect for sure let me tell. you something that [ __ ] he is. everything you think he is he is that. he's going on the list yes Ted Nan I.
don't know I might not have three for. you but I got him and I'm gon to make it. [ __ ]. happen perfect well man I just it was a. real pleasure interviewing you and to. know honor being here and I just wish. you the best of love to you likewise and. your and and your family and um we'll be. watching yeah man I'll be watching too. cool Che I got I got up this morning was. like who do you have on their last I was. like oh great the guy that [ __ ]. killed Ben Laden like what am I going to.
talk about. like yeah that's amazing man so proud of. you thank you for sure thank you all. right thank you brother cheers. [Music]. hey everybody I'm Shawn Ryan click here. to subscribe to the Sha Ryan Show. YouTube channel for the hottest and most. compelling interviews that you will not. see anywhere else I've also made a. playlist of all the previous SRS.
episodes so they're easy to find you can. find that right here.
