Shawn Ryan - The Guardian Angel Who Guided Me to Become a Warrior for God | SRS #63

hey guys I'm Katie I'm Sean's wife. um and I just wanted to say thank you. for watching this video and thank you. for all of your support with all the. videos. um and this one was especially. vulnerable for us uh to get on camera to. talk about. um you know a part of our life together. and hopefully it's helping other people. so that's why we decided to share it and. and open up and be real with you guys.

I got something too. on top of everything that my wife just. said. I know when everybody looks around maybe. not everybody but you might feel very. alone with what's happening in our. country and in the world right now. and I felt very alone and I just want to. say that another reason I did this is. because I want to show you all that. you're not alone.

we're being lied to. things are happening that a lot of. people don't agree with. and this is the way this is the way to. truth and this is how you find your. people. and I've surged a long time for this and. I was looking and a lot of the wrong. places and um. I'm happy to be here love you all thank. you for the support. I hope he gets something out of this.

well we haven't done this in a while I. think it's been since the. the Psychedelic experience which was. what about a year and a half ago. just about that we have. been in studio. talking about. us. so thanks for being here babe. allow myself to introduce myself. for those of you that don't know the.

beautiful woman sitting across from me. happens to be my wife. um. Katie. but hey. we got a really important topic we're. talking about today and and. I've received. thousands and thousands and thousands of. emails and messages and phone calls of. people want to know.

how I found faith and and what brought. me to Faith and and and a lot of people. have been saying that they've been. praying for this to happen friends. people I don't know people I've never. heard of. and. you know number one it feels amazing. um just to be a believer. and and two. man. the people it's been overwhelming to see.

and hear from there are good people in. this world. and uh. you know I was starting to wonder with. these interviews and and with all the. stuff that we've uncovered and. yeah it's a lot. it's a lot and you see where the world's. headed. and um. it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. good and I think God showed up.

just at the right time for me. I agree so. the whole point of this is is for you to. draw out of me kind of what happened and. and. one brought me. to Faith finding Jesus Christ believing. in God today. and so. um one thing that I do want to say is. I'm not pushing anything you know this.

isn't I'm not trying to force my beliefs. on anybody. I don't like it when things are forced. on me and that's part of what brought me. here you know is. I've had. a lot of agendas thrown at me forced. down my throat since 2020. and I am tired of it and um I wanted to. know. where my people are that were raised. with the same values as me and.

and the same morals and uh it got to a. point where I I felt like. we were the only ones left. and um. and so anyways I'll let you take it from. here well I think we should start from. the top which was. planning to get away just the two of us. and the state of mind that you were in. that I didn't even know about I mean I. had an idea but not really well I think.

this whole thing sorry. I didn't thought you were done go on I. think this whole thing started. honestly this whole thing started. well I've been researching a lot you. know and so I guess I can't say faith. started from this but ever since that. first. psychedelic Journey it really kind of. sent me down this rabbit hole because of. some of the things that I saw and. experienced during that and.

I I was. I was diving into everything I just. wanted to know I was diving into. astrology I was diving into. quantum physics I was diving in you the. the history of the world with with the. the ancient pyramids and how there may. have been a more advanced civilization. than there actually is right now. 12 000 13 000 years ago and it took me. down all of these rabbit holes. and.

I was looking in all the wrong places. for the answers. and then. guys started coming on the show and and. you know the first I think the first one. that really resonated with me was Justin. Hughes. you know Justin Hughes came and. he talked a lot about. God and faith and Jesus and being a. missionary at a at a extremely young age.

and that really sparked my curiosity. and then I think the next one was. Kyle Morgan. you know he we interviewed him and he. had a period in his life where he found. Faith as well and and his life took a. turn for the better. and then the one that really really got. me was uh Eddie Penny which was our. Christmas episode. and.

that's another thing we had talked about. with several of the guests is all these. weird coincidences that happen like when. we got engaged under the Northern Lights. and how that was never supposed to. happen and and thinking about people and. then they reach out and and just all. these random coincidences I don't want. to go into all of them right now but me. and Eddie talked about that and then I. interviewed him and it made it a huge. impact in ever since Eddie Penny came on.

this show. which was last November. I think is when we interviewed him fast. forward to Christmas well it doesn't you. don't need to fast forward we released. him on Christmas what an episode for. Christmas but every single person that. has sat in that chair after Eddie penny. no matter what the background doctors. all kinds of people I'm drawing a blank. right now but they've all talked to me. about the Bible.

and it I don't think that's a. coincidence no and um. and then some stuff happened but you. know the other thing I want to say is is. I can't say that I was necessarily an. atheist. you know or I mean there are a lot of. people roaming this earth right now that. are still breathing. because. I don't want to go to hell so and that's.

literally the only reason but. um so I guess I always believed a little. bit you know but man this last thing. just really. grab my attention well what was your. spiritual background your religious. background well I grew up Catholic you. know and and went to church every Sunday. went to Sunday school did first. communion did reconciliation did. confirmation the whole thing and then. and then when I left home. um you know being Catholic I'd it was.

boring it didn't capture my attention at. all and and then all these things kind. of started coming up about the Catholic. Church you know and I don't want to get. into them we all know what they are and. and um. and if you don't you can figure it out. uh with a quick search but but uh you. know and then. you know I left home at 18 went to the. SEAL Teams went to war at a very young. age stayed at War until my mid-30s.

got out met you and um but just really. had. to be honest zero religion I mean I've. seen. I've just I've seen a lot you know in my. life I've I feel like I've lived like. three or four lives now yeah every. single team life got my drug addict to. life. got my CIA life. got my family life got my interview life. you know and then and now moving past.

all of this you know the stuff from. combat and. and all that I mean that was horrific. stuff. and so yeah you know it was like how can. all this kind of stuff happen you know. if there was a God and. and then. I started interviewing and we started. uncovering corruption and I started. hearing other guys stories about what. they've experienced and more and and. guys that are going to prison and being. railroaded by our president and. and.

unjustly and and. it's just there's so much. corruption in this world. and things that don't seem fair that I. mean how could there be. what when you're overseas and deploying. and on missions did you pray. I had one there was one platoon not. usually but there was one platoon. it was when I was in Iraq I jumped in I.

left Afghanistan I jumped into my sister. platoon and and. you know this stuff isn't. really talked about in the military at. least from my experience but when I. jumped in that platoon that. that group of guys. all of them. were into the Bible and they would have. like these group prayers before we go. out on a mission and. um and I would take part but it was just.

because. to be honest it was just because I fit. in. I wanted or excuse me I wanted to fit in. you know and and that entire platoon was. doing that so. I was like all right I guess uh I'm. praying tonight before we go out but um. but it didn't mean to me what it means. now so you didn't pray before after. you'd go out do a mission and come back. just with that Wimbledon. every once if you ever heard the saying.

you probably haven't have you ever heard. the saying there's no atheist in a. foxhole. so basically what that means is when. you're about to die. all of a sudden you'll start believing. and I I can attest to that because there. are there are. a multitude of experiences that I have. where I I was a hundred percent certain. in my head this is it this is it.

um this is how it ends and uh some of. those times yeah I would. God would pop into my head but. not very often. that's crazy to believe. like that's so far from what I believe. you know I can't imagine being in those. positions and not. praying.

well I mean I'll just tell you you know. when you've been in that position enough. times and you've seen enough people die. and you've had enough friends die and. you've seen what. Al Qaeda Isis Taliban was doing to our. people I mean. you see things that nobody else will. ever see they can't even comprehend what. you saw they can't I mean you know you. see the American populace. they don't know what this stuff is about. they don't so if anything that made you.

question like how could there be a God. if this stuff's happening yeah I mean. you got a guy like let's just take Adam. Brown for example. great dad. great husband doesn't cheat on his wife. just a just a just a stand up. phenomenal human being. you know and in the SEAL Teams I I don't.

I don't care what anybody says but the. normal when I was in maybe this has. changed is you womanized you drink you. fight you go to war you come home and. you do it all again. you go look for a piece of ass at the. bar you beat the [ __ ] out of a bunch of. people when you get drunk. that's how you bond with your team. you go to war. that's it. so what about Adam and so you got a guy. like Adam Brown who's a rarity you know.

in in the SEAL Teams I mean there's not. a lot of men. serving at that capacity with. that that is a a real role model you. know looking on the inside knowing. everything you know what I mean. there's not a lot of guys like that and. it's always it seemed like it was always. the guys like Adam that got killed and. so when you see that and you're like man. like why wasn't it me. why wasn't it that guy why wasn't it.

Eddie why wasn't it will why why wasn't. it. somebody who's not that great of a. person outside of combat you know I mean. yeah oh. I mean they're serving their country but. I mean you come home and it's a disaster. you know and and. so yeah you see that enough times where. the the role model the actual Role. Models you know what I mean the people. should be looking up to. it just. it was like why did that guy get killed.

you know when I worked at the agency. there's another one it's I haven't even. thought about this guy in forever but he. got killed in Coast his name was his. call sign was bong believe it or not but. yeah it was. I mean it was a substitute teacher. you know and. he had kids I don't know a whole lot. about him but he was just like a super. nice guy kind of. I don't know maybe a little nerdy I mean. didn't fit in with the.

with the Special Operations crowd to be. honest with you but just like a super. nice guy great at his job you know and. and. buy it buy him. [Music]. he's not out boozing he's not out. womanizing he's not out picking fights. he's not serving his ego he's just. showing up to work doing what needs to. be done to serve the country and then. fast forward a couple months after I met. him blown up and Coast I mean just.

vaporized. you know and um. but there's there's a lot of guys like. that and so yeah you see enough of that. kind of stuff. it. it makes you wonder yeah I can see that. so after all of that. even when you transitioned did you start. having any kind of faith or grasping at. anything looking into anything at all no.

no. so when would you say it started when. the psychedelics. I think the psychedelics just put me I. just wanted to figure things out because. that when I did the psychedelics that. was the first time I realized there's a. lot more going on than what we see I. guess what I'm asking is when did your. curiosity or. search so before you even did.

psychedelics. you must have been thinking. there's got to be something else there's. gotta Maybe by doing psychedelics might. open my mind to. more spirituality religion God Jesus you. know what I mean was there any of that. or were you looking for after. psychedelics before psychedelics before. psychedelics. being a hundred percent honest the first. time I did psychedelics it completely. changed everything it was.

I was wrong this entire time there is no. God. you know. and. so I maybe had started believing again a. little bit but like my faith was just. really weak like I said I was never like. a full-on atheist I mean there's a lot. of things I would have done in life. differently had I not had a fear that if. hell exists that's where I'm going you. know so that was that's always been in. my head.

um. which means I somewhat believed in God. then I did psychedelics what I. experienced there you know I don't want. to go into it because we did a full. episode there but what I experienced. there was I realized there was a lot. more going on in the universe around us. that we don't see. that's what really sparked my curiosity. into figuring out all right how did we. get here. what is the higher power you know all. that kind of stuff and.

and then what really sent me down the. road to kind of even opening back up to. Faith was when I interviewed Eddie penny. you know the Justin Hughes stuff like I. really liked his interview. um and I you know I mean I still talk to. him and and. I talked to him about. God yeah Jesus and I'll call him and. I'll tell them what I'm experiencing or. I'll tell them about an interview that I. just did or or you know right before we.

went to Sedona when this all happened I. called him and I I had said you know I. think I'm. I think I'm ready. you know and he's he asked if I wanted. him to do some research and look up a. church in our area and he did. and he was like I think this one will be. a perfect fit for you and I we still. didn't go you know that was actually. that was maybe a month or two before we.

went to Sedona and all this happened. I've spent more time than I would like. to admit researching testing trying to. find the perfect mattress that's going. to give me a good night's sleep. and it basically got to the point where. I just gave up I suffer from chronic. back pain it comes from 14 years of. combat operations as a Navy SEAL and a. CA contractor. my back's just shot no matter what. mattress I use.

I wake up I can't move takes me about 45. minutes just to loosen up to bend over. to put my shoes on to get out the door. and then. somebody a friend of mine told me about. Helix mattresses so I went to the. website. turns out they got a quiz you take you. take the quiz and then they make a. recommendation out of the 20 mattresses. they have in stock. mine was the midnight Lux and Bam had it. shipped right to my house.

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but it sparked my interest and. um and so. that letter that letter right into all. of it but should I just go. straight into it yeah I'm sure just go. into it let's go into the week leading. up. yeah that's what I'd like to talk about. the week. the week leading up. to all this happening I was it just. threw me into a. extremely dark place we had just done.

um I had two back-to-back interviews I. had the Ryan Montgomery interview no I'm. sorry I had the Tyler Andrew Vargas. interview first that's the that's the. young Marine that. survived uh that explosion that suicide. bomber and during the Afghan withdrawal. we've all heard about what a disaster. that was that man's testimony. that was squashed by all the media.

Outlets. um. came here. and gave full testimony of everything. that happened at that day and being. somebody that spent 14 years of my life. fighting those Wars and to see what. happened to those men and what happened. to our allies. and what that poor guy is experiencing. and had to experience because of. our government's incompetence infuriated.

me. I mean I'm I'm sitting here. watching a 24 year old man. who turned down sniper School in the. Marine Corps to become a MARSOC Marine I. think three times he turned it down. he never got the chance. because. he was blown up. which that episode isn't out yet but I'm. watching this kid. and he's missing his right arm.

he's missing his left leg. I mean his life's completely I mean I'm. having breakfast with this guy. and I'm watching him like use his claw. to cut his omelette and you know who. gives a [ __ ] nobody. nobody cares. nobody appreciates his sacrifice. they do but that's what I felt at the. time you know some people do. and so that the very next day the very.

next day I interviewed Ryan Montgomery. and that was uncovering. how many pedophiles. there are in the world today. then on top of that. we had the the Covenant shooting. in Nashville and. so. I don't want to mention in names but we.

got asked to come up there or I got. asked to come up there and do a security. assessment. and so. of course I'm going I mean we live here. this is our community and I was I said. absolutely I'd be I I would be honored. to do it and so I go up there. this is this is for free by the way you. know now I just want to point something. out. not everything has to be a business.

these days if you live in your community. it's okay to do something on the house. and and to better your community you. don't have not everything has to be a. business not everything has to be a sale. sometimes it might be a good idea just. to be a good person. and I don't see a lot of that anymore. everything's got to be transactional but. anyways and and I didn't advertise it. this is the first time I'm even talking. about it right you know but one up there.

walk into this into this school. and I'm with their security guy. and a couple of the teachers. everything's still very fresh. and walk in and they they. you know what happened and for those. that don't know a transactive shooter. walked into a school killed a bunch of. kids killed a bunch of teachers and then. Nashville PT PD.

um shot and killed that person but. but they're walking me through and I'm I. you just see like pure evil you know. somebody came in there Shot Through the. Windows shot the janitor and everything. I mean they're ripping the carpets out. because there was so much blood all over. the place you can see the bullet holes. in the walls you can see the bullet. holes in the windows you can see. everything.

and you can see where the kids. were trying to get away. that were killed. I could see all of it so then you're. going from the school and we went into. the church. you can see the bullet holes in the. stained glass windows. and. and you know. all you hear is everybody politicizing.

this to their [ __ ]. political agendas nobody actually gives. a [ __ ] about those kids or those. teachers it's let's how can we make a. political point out of this right and um. and that disgusts me so I did that one. experience that came up with a plan. forum and uh hopefully that's working. out well they don't even know if they're. going to reopen that school because it. was so horrific but I at least came up. with a with a with a very solid plan for. the church so that they so that these. people could get back to church and and.

and and worship you know. so that happened. then. my best friend in town died you know. totally unexpectedly Dan Cirillo uh for. you seals out there you know on this. Taco but you know I don't have very many. friends here at all. and there's not a whole lot of people. that I can relate to anymore and.

Dan was one of those guys. you know and I don't really enjoy. sitting around drinking beers talking. about war stories in the good old days. and and and the not so good old days and. I I've really moved on from that stuff. and and. and Dan has too you know and and we got. really close. really fast. and.

he he died like unexpectedly on a. hunting trip with a son. literally like right before we were. supposed to leave so all four of those. things I mean that was all within five. days. yeah it seems a lot and um. so we go to Sedona we had a a vacation. plan that was supposed to be a nice and. relaxing vacation and. we got on that plane and Justin Hughes. had given me a book or told me he said I.

want you to read this book which I don't. like reading but he said I want you to. read this book it was called the case. for Christ. by Lee Strobel because I was telling him. like. I kept calling him you know and I still. call him and I will just took I just. wanted him to talk to me about it you. know because I I started finding myself. wanting to believe but I just. there was like this hurdle this barrier. that I couldn't get over. and. so I cracked that book open and I. started reading it on the plane.

and man like everything just came. crashing down I don't know what it was. in that book that triggered it. but I just put my sunglasses on buried. my hat. over my face and um. I just didn't want to be seen and I I. lost it. I started crying. I didn't feel good and and I'm not I'm. not like an emotional guy you know I've. hid my emotions for so long I don't even.

know how to access them anymore. you know I mean time and time again you. see guys come in here spilling their. guts. it doesn't affect me. or I guess it does affect me but it all. came crashing down at once. well let's also be honest you and I. weren't even speaking. oh yeah we got into it what did we get. into it about the whole of it yeah. but yeah we got into it and so I'm on.

this plane and I just. I just I'm thinking about all everything. that I had experienced for that past. week. and then I just I remember Sandy I was. like I don't even want to be here. anymore I don't even belong in this. world and I wasn't like a suicide call. it was just it was just me. expressing how I feel and I've I mean I. look around in every single thing that I. look at. I [ __ ] hate.

I hate. that. the covet vaccine was forced on me I. hate that the mask mandates were forced. on me I hate I don't even care about. saying this anymore because I'm tired of. like. trying to like fit in and and be careful. what you say I don't care like this is. how I was raised these are my morals and. I'm not budging anymore. but it was it was that it was the it was.

all this stuff just built up that the. mutilating kids bodies. you know Washington you go if you live. in Washington in your I believe an. eight-year-old. wants to change genders and you as a. parent are not ready to make that happen. the state will come in and rip your kid. out of your household. I'm tired of this [ __ ]. you know I'm tired of watching China buy. off all of our politicians all of our.

Farmland teach the car tell us how to. make fentanyl watch the cartels run the. fentanyl through the border to kill our. population it's I mean in the borders. are wide open. you know is everything I look at the the. the drag shows I don't care about drag. shows have all the drag shows you want. why do you have to why do you have to. rub your dick in a little kid's face. and then and then you watch. half the population all up in arms.

because it's it's it's a violation of. freedom of speech and then I interview. Ryan Montgomery and then doing my. research I find three states that are. that are. they're like normalizing pedophilia. you know I mean California now it's up. to the judge if you wind up on the sex. offenders list and and it's. correct whatever I don't want to get. into this but now I'm into it and it's. it's if you're 10 if you are 10 years.

old or 14 years if you're 14 years old. a 24 year old can have sex with you and. it's up it's up to the judge's. discretion. if if if you're going to wind up on the. sex offenders list now what is a 24 year. old have like how is that acceptable in. anybody's head but it is. have at least half of this population is.

okay with that then you go I can't. remember if it was Wisconsin or. Minnesota so I'm not going to say it's. one of the two they passed another thing. then Colorado they just passed something. where. did they just pass they lowered it from. yeah they lowered it into a misdemeanor. yeah now if you do now if you expose. yourself to to kids it's a misdemeanor. what what is this. you know and so. and there's more I mean I could go on. about this stuff all day long you know a.

day Afghan withdrawal the pedophilia the. mutilating kids bodies the forcing all. these agendas down people's throats that. don't want them forced you know and just. leave I just everywhere you look. everywhere I look. I hated what I saw. and I don't see anybody standing up for. it. and I just I lost I was like me I'm. it got to the point. where I was like I'm the [ __ ] up one.

I'm the only one left on this planet. that does not believe in this [ __ ]. I don't belong here anymore these aren't. my people. I don't want to be here the only reason. I'm here is for you and our son. and that's it. well I took that that. sounded like. you wanted to commit suicide. well yeah I could see that.

and and like I said it wasn't a suicide. call. but if it wasn't for you and if it. wasn't for our son I would have checked. out right there. because it got to the point where I I. just I was like there's no reason for me. to be here. everybody's okay with this stuff except. me. I'm I'm the [ __ ] up one I'm the one. that. you get what I'm saying yeah that's all. you see.

and broke down you know it just it. ruined. damn near the entire trip and. well that's how it started off yeah we. weren't speaking I asked you if you even. want me to go on the trip. and then. it went right into that. and you wouldn't even tell me why you. were crying for the longest time. no. I didn't I didn't want to talk about it.

and um. but then you opened up. when I opened up. when we were driving to Sedona well. after we landed um. it was a two-hour Drive yeah. yeah. so opened up to. and I think I started feeling a little. bit better. and I remember when we checked in.

so when we got to Sedona. there was a. series of events. that happened yeah and they started. immediately although I didn't realize. they were starting which is really odd. because they say. all kinds of. positivity and and. good energy and all this stuff happens. in Sedona and we that's why we went. there yeah.

I wanted to see the energy vortexes but. at this point I thought well that's out. of the question with how things were. going yeah and so we checked in and I. remember the first thing the first. person that I noticed. he was at a distance and I remember. grabbing I was like holy [ __ ] I was like. that guy walks exactly. like Gabe exactly Gabe. gabecardi. was my best friend.

of all time. and uh and and and he's passed. but Gabe was always known as a protector. he was known as a protector from the. time he was a kid. to his hockey career to a seal career to. his CIA career. his MMA career everybody which is. interesting because all these like tough. guy crowds. all considered Gabe to be a protector he.

was the enforcer on the hockey team the. goalie on the hockey team you know and. we know how rough hockey can be and they. looked up they knew Gabe would take care. of them Seal Team same thing CIA same. thing as MMA uh fight fight buddies same. thing. and. anyways we saw him and I was like that. guy looks exactly he walks exactly like. Gabe. and then he got closer.

and he. he could have been his twin identical it. was weird. if they were standing side by side you. would know they're not identical twins. but they would but you would look at. them and go. I see the differences but those are. identical twins even his style walk the. same dress the same same three-day. Shadow same brow line same jawline same. smile. I even tried talking to the guy and he. was just like gay but he didn't want to. talk to anybody he blew you off he.

totally blew me off and um and it was. just weird because it was like man and. he's the only guy that we kept running. into at the resort and I know a lot of. people like oh yeah you just you just. think that because that's the guy that. sticks out in your brain yeah I'm aware. of all these things I used to work for. the CIA and so I know what to look for. when people are following me and and I. know the the psychology behind all this. stuff that was not it that guy if we.

were in the restaurant he was in the. restaurant if we were touring the pool. he was down there at the pool if he was. in the in the what the activity center. where you go you figure out where you're. gonna go on the hikes and do all these. other activities he's in there I think. we even ran into him out in town. did we run into a mountain town at that. wall I don't think so but um but. everywhere else everywhere yeah. and and it was a big Resort it was huge.

different restaurants different I mean. he was everywhere. and that I thought that was really odd. and but I didn't at the time then Dave. Rutherford we and jono we went on. vacation with them that Dave is Dave and. John are best friends and and um. and. you were tired. for a good reason. and I went to lunch with Dave and Jonna.

and right away like Dave started kind of. getting on my ass he listened to this. interview I did with this guy Andrew. Bustamante and we had talked about. I mean it was just a discussion but we. had talked about where we would go. if America wasn't the superpower anymore. and and and it was just inevitable and. there was nothing we could do. and he brought his thing up I said I. would go to Paraguay and um he was like. well why would you go to Paraguay I said.

well and Dave was at he was like what. are you talking about are you going to. leave the country I'm like no Dave I'm. not gonna. I'm not gonna it was a conversation but. I was like but I was like I'm not in the. mood to listen to your opinion on what I. should do when our country collapses I. don't give a [ __ ] what you think I'm not. asking for any advice this is what the. [ __ ] I want to do and. um and he's like well why do you want to. go there. and so I told him you know I said it's. south of where all the cartel shit's. happening they're not growing drugs.

nobody's ever heard of the place it's. landlocked there's not a lot of people. there. all the all these reasons you know now. you're giving away our secret it's a. place to disappear there's other places. like this that I've got in the back. pocket too so but he started getting on. my ass about it and I was I I like. completely lost my temper. and. like uncontrollable.

and I'm yelling at him and I'm. anybody who's looking at me in this. very nice restaurant I'm pointing at. them yelling at them you probably. [ __ ] did this [ __ ] it's your fault. that we're here. [ __ ] you quit eating your [ __ ] salad. get the [ __ ] out of here I was I didn't. care who it was. anybody that got in front of me anybody. who paid me any attention that I didn't. want attention from I told him exactly. what was on my mind.

and it just it didn't go well and then. and then we went we went out and he kind. of calmed me down a little bit and I. mean we tried everything it was just not. a good trip you know and didn't you get. emotional there too where at lunch. yeah that's what I'm saying I was crying. I was pissed I lost my temper I was. yelling at people that I don't even know. you know they're looking at me like I'm. a crazy person because I was. or maybe I'm not maybe other people are.

feeling like this too I don't know you. know that at that specific moment in. time it felt like I was the only one. who was against all of these agendas. that are challenging the way I was. raised and um so yeah I completely lost. it I was a disaster. Dave got us out of there and we went out. and buy a creek and he started talking. to me about about Dan you know the my.

buddy that just died Dave was also very. close with him and. and we just tried everything we tried he. tried saging me. he tried talking to me about the Bible. we went out to dinners you know and and. nothing was helping and um and then we. did the sage thing and then we went out. to dinner one night and I remember at. dinner this is this is kind of the first. thing that got my wheels spinning. we went out to dinner and Dave was.

talking about we were talking about. frequency. and I've been like I said I've been on. these rabbit holes where I'm looking at. the universe and quantum physics and. you name it I've looked into it and I. started getting into all these frequency. things Consciousness you know and I've. been watching this guy. Greg Braden a lot and. on YouTube and he talks a lot about. frequencies and he can relate things. back to the Bible from from physics and.

it's super it's really interesting stuff. anyways I'm telling Dave about these. frequencies and Dave goes well do you. know what the god frequencies are and as. I was like no. and he goes well you need to look into. the god frequencies. and I said well what are those and he. says well. I can't I. he said. the reason Jesus was behaved was able to. do all these miraculous things.

was because he was in tune with all. three of the god frequencies. so when he parted the Seas when he. walked on water all these things he was. 100 in tune with the. three God frequencies I don't know if. Dave just said that to me just to get me. thinking because he thought that would. resonate with me but or if that's. actually in there. it's and um in the Bible but whatever it. worked it caught my attention and it got. me thinking and I was like whoa.

I mean I do a rifle machine a couple. times a week which is a. a device that shoots frequencies through. your body and disposably brings you back. to Baseline frequency and uh supposedly. it can. supposedly it can cure cancer and. viruses and bacterias and allergies and. all these things right and I was telling. them about that but anyways he he had. mentioned frequencies and I believe in. frequencies and I was like in my head I. was like well this is that's the first.

thing anybody ever said to me. that actually really resonated uh when. it comes to. you know a specific part of the Bible or. whatever A lot of times people quote the. Bible it doesn't mean anything to me. and um so that got me thinking. and. I hadn't had my phone for the majority. of the trip. I started feeling a little better. and then I opened my phone.

like a dumbass. and I think this this was our last day. wasn't it. I'm waiting to see what your phone is. going to say because that would tell me. if it was the last day. I checked my phone. and the first thing I see. was. a news headline. where it said that the Chinese spy. balloon had actually collected all this. data oh this wasn't the last day yet it.

was the second to last day I mean I'm. sorry. and. I remember when that happened. I got on. social media and I told everybody like. this is this these are our. vulnerabilities this is what could have. possibly happened of course read in the. comments section. we got a bunch of know-it-alls that. actually don't know [ __ ] and they're. like oh this you know they could get all. this information on Google Earth and I. was I was like no they can extract. information out and get it back to China.

from whatever they're flying over Well. turns out they did fly over a bunch of. military bases and a bunch of. information apparently according to the. news headline which who knows which you. can believe there now was actually. transmitted. um and pushed back to China and that. threw me off scroll down a little bit. more famous celebrity that lives in our. town is talking about how they can't. believe that parents wouldn't want. drag shows in front of their kids.

because it's it's it violates freedom of. speech. sorry I'm not down for a grown ass man. shaking his dick in front of my. 20 month old that's I wasn't raised like. that I don't know where these people. came from anyways it threw me into a it. threw me right back into it just like. that lost my just lost it. and. and.

I remember just wanting to get out of. the room. foreign. let's just hike up to this energy Vortex. it's it's it was a quick hike I was like. I just I gotta get out of here. and. we started hiking up there. and I'll be honest I smoke to join. I wanted I didn't want to feel the pain. so I smoke to join right there and. um I just wanted.

that anxiety I wanted that rage that. anger gone like I don't want to feel it. anymore. and that maybe worked for what 10. minutes. and. we hike up there. sit there for a little bit. we're talking. and. I don't remember what we talked about do. you.

probably all of it. everything well what were you thinking. before I go on at this point yeah. so much I mean. like I said that sounded like a suicide. cry to me you know. so. that was hard to hear. um. but. I knew obviously how angry you were. and.

I didn't know what the answer was or. when it was going to come. while we're up there I didn't know what. Vortex to go to for that. well I guess we went to the right one. I guess we went to the right one but. yeah the. the weed didn't even work it didn't do. anything you know maybe for 10 minutes.

but we got up there sat there for a. little bit. and I could feel the rage coming back. and and I just wanted I was like all. right well this didn't work let's go and. it was dark it was getting dark so we. started hiking back to the. back to the resort. and I remember. having this conversation inside of my. head at least I think it was inside of. my head. on our way back down.

and. if you remember. when I talked about the 5meo experience. excuse me. the first the first five Meo experience. that we talked about in this room. I I do you remember me talking about I. felt like all this tar like this evil. just all this this negative anxiety.

anger like rage. like I felt like all this tar just was. like leaking. off of my heart and it. cleared me up well on the way hiking. down from this mountain. all these thoughts started coming in. again and it was like why do you. why do you live here like why are you. even here nobody thinks like you Sean. just your values are [ __ ] up nobody.

thinks like you it's okay that that. people are preying on children and it's. okay that eight-year-olds are. getting their genitals ripped out of. them and chopped off and and made into. the opposite gender and it's okay that. they're ripping kids out of their. family's home because the parents aren't. down with the gender change and it's. okay that grown men in drag or shaking. their private parts in front of little. kids and this is what I see everywhere I.

look. walk into Target what do you see. it's everywhere I wouldn't know because. I don't go anymore yeah well but in in. anyways we'll walk all these things are. playing in my head and I can feel like. once again it was like this black tar. felt like it was coming into my chest. over my heart and just like consuming. everything and it it got it it literally. in my conversation in my head it was.

just give up what are you fighting for. nobody thinks like you just give up just. give in to it. I mean we're talking about. we were talking about starting our own. school which is another conversation but. this this evil just kept sinking in and. and I had I had convinced myself to give. up. as a parent my number one priority is. the well-being of my kids I want to make.

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ever taste but it's only for a limited. time it's spelled moink. m-o-i-n-k box.com slash SRS that's. moinkbox.com SRS. on that hike down the mountain I was. like I'm tired of feeling like this I'm. tired of fighting I don't want to do. this anymore I don't want to do these. interviews I don't want to uncover. corruption I don't even want to do what.

I think is the right thing because. apparently it's the wrong thing. and and I'd given in give up how how did. you want to give up. give in to it. like I just wanted to not let that kind. of [ __ ] bother me anymore like oh. they're mutilating eight-year-old kids I. don't care that's how it's supposed to. be technology advanced why shouldn't we. now. just drag thing in front of little kids.

nobody cares it's no big deal what's the. big deal a fake. 45 year old man is shaking his dick in. front of a. two-year-old. it's not a big deal. right. we got a guy up here. no arm no leg. has to go to the bathroom in a bag. because there was no plan when the. Afghan withdrawal happened that's nobody.

cares. nobody cares they won't even they won't. even put them on the news because it. might embarrass somebody. nobody cares. all these things you know oh we got a 47. year old man. right here in the studio trying to [ __ ]. a 13 year old girl. that we baited. certain states are okay with that.

it's all good. so these are the things that I'm like. you gotta be you get the world's. changing like you got to be okay with. this or. you can check out because you don't. belong here anymore. this isn't your world. you know and it's not my world and I. know that but I'm you know I'm like I. said I'm not going to conform to this. [ __ ] and um. and so this is the conversation I'm. having planned in my head as we get down. you know to the front gate of the resort.

we're staying at this resort called. enchantment. and they got an armed guard at the gate. and we were there for what like a week. yeah. been there for a week. I pay attention to these kind of things. I was a seal I was a CIA guy I take. security extremely seriously. very seriously and a lot of these guys. at that gate they knew who I was.

say hi I love the show fan whatever you. know and metamal. school to meet him and. but this night. would I mean we'd been out of that in. and out of that gate how many times. yeah quite a few you know and mostly by. foot so we walk right by yeah always you. know I mean these are the people that. are Gardener Ash you better be nice to. them you know and um. so get to know them.

well this time this old man walked out. and I don't even. I mean why don't you go into this. because I don't even I wasn't I wasn't. present in the moment I was totally in. my own head you know this old man came. by and said something and the only thing. I remember. at first is I had my back turned to him. like this and I was looking at him over. my shoulder because I wanted to give him.

the body language that hey buddy I'm not. in the mood right now I don't want to. talk and I don't care what the [ __ ] you. have to say I'm moving on. but I did so I started talking to him. and. nicest old guy but yeah I quickly. just started a conversation with them. and noticed his accent. and of course started talking the whole. New England thing. he was from Boston and.

then you started to kind of turn our. Direction because you realized I'm in it. for a little bit and uh. and that's when he. started like acknowledging you in the. conversation then and. he just kind of started saying. everything you needed to hear. that's what got my attention I didn't. care I remember him looking at me and. telling me he was a veteran mm-hmm and.

our first veteran and this guy. all estimate what do you think 65 maybe. 70. I'd say in his 70s. he looked at me as happy as could be too. yeah super nice guy. like I said I'm giving the body language. like hey buddy I just want to go back to. my room and I don't want to talk I'm not. in the mood. he looks at me tells me as a veteran.

and then. it was like this guy jumped inside of my. head. and read every single thought. that I was having so much so that it. literally scared the [ __ ] out of me I. don't even remember everything he said. because after the first thing it freaked. me out. and he looked at me and he he was. talking about himself. and he he said. he was like you know.

I remember when I got out. he's like all these things were. happening you know outside of my control. outside of the country he's like they've. really bothered me. and he goes. but you know what. and he was talking about I mean he was. like this thing over here. you don't need to worry about that. anymore. that's not your fight.

and this stuff with China. that's not your fight either. and all these things that are happening. within the country. that's not my fight anymore that's my. kids fight. he said he fought his fight yes he said. he fought his fight now it's somebody. else's turn. but he went through and I don't remember. do you remember everything he said I. remember.

he. talked about his travels that he loves. to just travel now and one of the places. he loves to spend his time is California. and that's when you and I were like what. why are you going to California. and he said I know it's messed up right. now he said but man it's beautiful and. the weather's beautiful and he just. loved it for what it was what the. natural beauty of the state I can't say.

anything about it because I haven't. spent enough time there but he was just. he just thought like you and I were. crazy to not see its natural beauty and. for what it actually was and you and I. thought. he's crazy for spending his time in such. a corrupt and. out of control state right now from what. we hear and. um. that's what really got us like tuned. into what like how can this guy even.

think this way but he was just he was. just living his life he said oh my gosh. the weather and I get to go to the beach. and he was just really enjoying it for. what it was and didn't let anything else. phase him yeah nothing was getting to. him. yeah I think that was towards the end. because I do remember that portion but I. remember the very first thing you know. he said was he was talking about all. this stuff that's happening outside of.

the country. and and and I mean it it was. that man read my mind from front to back. in about 60 seconds and just went. through it all boom boom boom boom boom. boom boom and after like I said after. the first thing when he was talking. about all the stuff outside of the. country. if it literally freaked me out yeah I I. don't know if my face changed but out it. totally. I was like how is this guy in my head.

right now and then and then he said. something else and I remember thinking. he's 100 in my head right now what the. [ __ ] is going on and. and um and then I totally tuned out. because that's all I could think about. was how is this man in my head right now. at this specific moment in time reading. each and every one of my thoughts and. reciting them back to me. and. conversation ended we started walking. again it was dark and um.

I remember looking at you and. and I. I just said. holy [ __ ]. I think God just spoke to me through. that man. and I was feeling so relieved because. I knew it was everything that you needed. to hear at that moment so I was just. really happy.

do you remember what you said. no I said I can't believe I just kept. saying it I was like I cannot believe. we'd never seen that man before we had. been in and out of that gate. at least five times a day all different. times nighttime daytime morning you name. it we're out hiking around or going out. in town or going out to a nice dinner. and I never saw that man there the. entire time we were there until that.

very last night. and. and I I kept saying I can't I can't. believe it that guy just read my mind I. think that was God he was talking to me. and you said. Sean. you don't realize it but God's always. around you. you said. look at all the good things that are. happening to you. look at the impact you're making. on the people that listen.

and. how could you. how could you not see that. and and I just kept saying I was like I. can't believe it I can't believe it and. and he said. the reason you can't believe it is. because you've never made room for him. we're always busy doing all these other. things. and you refuse to make room for him well. he showed up. um. so in that time for him it takes what.

maybe three minutes to get from the yeah. from the gate to our room which we were. staying in like this. I guess it would be like a duplex uh. like a bungalow yeah like a villa in the. two rooms the doors face each other. we never saw our neighbor the whole time. the only other person in the building. we'll walk in. we're unlocking we're we're getting. ready to walk up to our to our little. Villa. and all be damned if.

the guy that looks identical to Gabe. winds up being the person that's staying. across from us we had seen him in every. that was so weird in every. corner of that Resort he was there we. didn't realize we never saw who was. staying across from it wound up being. the guy that looked identical to Gabe. and.

like I said Gabe was known as a. protector. I was in a super vulnerable state I mean. where I was ready to give up. and. so that was a sign. oh there we are crazy because you and I. both looked at each other like oh my God. like he's right there you know and he's. probably thinking these people are. following me around the resort staring.

at me like constantly. now he's like and now they're right next. to me. well I'm so sorry dude yeah well maybe. maybe not because then we walked we. walked in the room and the first thing. you said is you go you think that was a. coincidence too yeah. and I started once again I broke down. again I started crying and we had a long. conversation in the room and and it was.

it was more me sin I can't believe this. is happening this is insane what's going. on what am I supposed to do. and I remember looking down at the. carpet and realizing the entire carpet. was all these crosses in a pattern. and it just really like threw me into a. tenzie you know I just I there was just. so many coincidences happening and. I remember we're talking in my phone. ding.

we finished the conversation. and. I went to check my phone. and it was a text. from Dan's daughter. who doesn't have my number. I had met her one time I don't think I. said two words to her she doesn't know. who I am. Dan. the same Dan that had just died a couple.

days prior. this is what it said. so I'm going to read this text now this. text came in. so weird this text came in in the middle. of our conversation right after these. two other things happened. says hey Sean this is Dan's daughter. my dad requested I reach out to you I. had a moment with him the other day when. my mom and I walked into his Gun Room.

it was the first time she had been in. there since his passing and I felt the. whole room awakened like invisible stars. were bouncing off the walls. there were a few people in the room but. he really grabbed me by the balls as he. would say and made a couple of clear. points. I want you to I want you to know he. spoke very gently very smooth like he. was calm and tranquil. one favor he asked of me is that I.

contact you when I'm ready he didn't. give me any more Direction than that but. I think he would just like you to know. he sees you or feels you. my mom told me recently you you had. become his best friend and his favorite. person to be around and if that's true. it's safe to say he really loved you. just exactly as you are. unfortunately my dad and I didn't really. talk about our personal lives we had.

more of a feeling type relationship. not a lot of talking but just the right. amount of loving from afar but if. there's ever a chance you'd feel. comfortable talking about yours and his. story I would sure love to hear about it. and I'm sure he would too. trying not to lose it here I know but um. so that's so that text came in.

at that moment right then. so it was three things right in a row. boom boom boom. and. started getting ready for bed and I told. you. that was our last night we were leaving. early in the morning I think we were. leaving by eight in the morning to get. back to the airport and I said hey I. want to. I want to wake up really early I want to.

hike back up to that vortex. and I I just feel like there's going to. be something else. and if there's not. that's fine you know then I will just. say thanks as the sun's rising and. thank you for. for giving me Faith thank you for making. me a believer. and so I got up I don't know 4 30 Maybe. got dressed hiked back up to that energy. vortex.

was freezing I forgot how cold it gets. in the desert at night it's been a. minute but um well I'm hiking up there. and I'm like. I was conv I was like I think Jesus is. gonna pop out of a bush at this point. I was like I'm gonna see the burning. bush something's gonna happen. something's gonna happen. well I got up to the energy Vortex. nothing happened there's one right. outside of the resort and. um. and I I brought my phone because I.

wanted to Time Lapse the sunrise and I. just wanted to remember the moment and. so I was like I know I'll just set my. phone over here I don't want to be. around it turned it on airplane mode and. uh I just I just want to Time Lapse the. sunrise. ladies and gentlemen you've heard me. talk about them before we're talking. about hoists IV level hydration. stuff tastes absolutely incredible and. what's ironic about that is actually has.

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I'm sitting there and I'm waiting and. waiting and waiting for the sun to rise. and freezing I almost was like dude. screw this I'm going nothing's happening. I've been up here for a couple hours now. I thought that some would rise a little. earlier than it did but I'm done I was. like no I just got it out stay out here. like just say thank you and and and then. we'll move on.

and so I'm sitting there and you know. just just when you can see this right. before the sunrise you can see exactly. where it's going to come up. and I got up there at night. stars are everywhere I watched all the. stars disappear I watched the moon. disappear I watch the sun getting ready. to come up. and. I'm looking out. Over the Horizon right where the sun's.

about ready to Peak. and I see this. UAP. and at first I was like oh that's. probably just a plain you know flying. straight at me nope. there were no Chemtrails up there there. were no other flights no other planes. nothing no not even a hint of any. airplanes yet it was that early in the. morning. so I started moving around you know and.

I was like well maybe if I move over. here I I'll see it like. moving it is a plane moving and an angle. it wasn't a plane it was sitting in the. exact same spot just sitting there while. I was walking around I looked away and I. looked back and it was gone. I was like damn. you know. well whatever you know whatever it was I. don't care I'll just the sun's about. ready to come up it came back.

out moving not anything like extravagant. or you know I don't. it just looked like a little Dot. and I'm gonna put it on screen so. everybody can see but. what it looked like but um. but I sat there at this time I wasn't. gonna look away I watched it. and then it just. disappeared gone. so something else did happen I don't.

know what that was what it represented. if I was supposed to get any meaning out. of it but all I know is I saw UAP I've. never seen a uip. I haven't either and that was a UAB or a. UFO whatever you want to call it. but sun came up. said thank you. I made a quick video about. you know just saying thank you once I my. hike back down got my phone made a quick.

video like. you know just documenting the moment the. date the time all that kind of stuff. and hype back down. felt like a million bucks I believe in. God now and all these things that. happened and I'm excited to get on with. life I was excited to tell you about the. the UAP. we get get in the car head to the. airport. and. you know it was a long flight on the FL.

I I didn't think the camera would have. caught that I was like there's no way. this crappy little iPhone on time lapse. mode caught a little bitty. Dot. Over the Horizon. and I started watching the time lapse. and I I just started zooming in. sure [ __ ]. it's in there so I'll play that right. now. but.

so then we get home. and I start telling everybody about this. told Justin Hughes about it. I told Kyle Morgan about it I told Eddie. Penny about it I told Dave brother I. told everybody about it. and um thinking that we're gonna think. I'm crazy. told my team about it turns out. damn near our whole team is extremely.

well versed in the Bible and I decided. I'm gonna I'm gonna read the Bible and. and. I had come to the collusion that's the. only thing left in this world that's. going to make any sense to me. and so I. we started reading the Bible the one. that Dave got us for our wedding we. started reading that and. and then I I talked to Eddie penny.

and I told him what happened. and. Erica. real quiet and he just said he was like. man he goes Sean. there have been a lot of people. praying that this was going to happen to. you. and he was then he went on and he's like. I don't I don't want to freak you out or.

anything but a lot of us have been. praying for this to happen for a long. time. and I was. I mean that's. that hits you mm-hmm. and we started talking about. he started talking to me about. all kinds of stuff. things that had happened to him.

things that I might experience now that. that I've chosen aside. some stuff about spiritual warfare he. started talking about Guardian Angels. the majority of the conversation was. about spiritual warfare. and guardian angels. and how to kind of how to read the Bible. and.

and any it was just a long conversation. about faith and what it's like to find. it and things that I might experience. now that I've found it he he says that. evil will show up now that I've now that. I've chosen a side. and. the guardian angels will be around me. that got nothing to worry about. just keep. stay on the path it's gonna pay off.

that's what he wants you to do. and I was like all right man there's a. lot to take in you know and um. and I had a phone call scheduled. with an. member on the team. at noon the next day. this was late at night. noon the next day I don't even know what. this conversation is going to be about. I pick up the phone we have our.

conversation it was literally. the exact same conversation. as I have with any penny. a little more than 12 hours ago. and it was about spiritual warfare. and guardian angels. that conversation started at noon. so then I came home to be with you and.

our son for a late lunch. had lunch with you guys I think I told. you about my conversations. was heading back to the shirt of the. studio. pulled out of the driveway we're on. I look at the clock. it says 4 444. at the exact same time I look at the. clock I will see my odometer and it says.

444 miles left to empty. so I call. our social media guy. or text them or call them and and I. texted them because I just wanted to. remember I wanted to text somebody so I. said hey what does 444 mean. and um. that way I just had you know what I mean. a documented I wouldn't forget. so I raced to the studios he was here.

and. grab whipped out my laptop and I'm like. what does 444 mean. 444. means that. your guardian angels want you to know. that they're around you. and that everything's gonna be okay so I. Googled it what does 444 mean that was. the first that was the first Google. result that I saw. was your guardian angels want you to.

know that they're around you so it 444. in the afternoon. I saw my odometer that said I had. 444 miles left to empty and this was. four hours and 44 minutes. after that conversation about guardian. angels and spiritual warfare started. so there's three things all happening.

simultaneously that have to do with 444. tell me that's not another one another. sign for sure and then I started seeing. it everywhere. wake up in the middle of the night. it's 4 444. it happens all the time. and so.

do you believe in angels. I do now. I do now. you said that you believed in Hell. before do you believe in heaven. I do now. I mean look at everything that's changed. just since.

Sedona that happened. that was the last straw I was like all. right I am one I am all in on this. went to church haven't missed church I. think it's been five times in a row now. right five weeks in a row we've gone to. church I think so since then. uh went to the church that Justin Hughes. recommended love it. lots of like-minded people. all with the same morals and values that. we have.

got emotional in the church all five. times every time we walk in there. I feel like I'm gonna lose it in a good. way you know I just it's I don't know. what it is I just it just makes me want. to cry. it's. but it feels good and um I still fight. it you know because I I just I just. don't know any other way but. um.

but it feels good and and I started. reading the Bible and. started looking for answers started. watching documentaries reading the Bible. that Geo has a bunch of good stuff on. this that I've been reading I mean I'm. just sinking my teeth into anything I. can get you know on the subject of God. faith Jesus what we're supposed to be. doing asking for signs on what I'm. supposed to be doing.

and this is what I'm supposed to be. doing. I'm supposed to be here. talking about this. right now. and maybe this will give some other. people. some hope. maybe this will get some other people. start looking into this. do you believe that everything's gonna. be okay. I believe everything's gonna be okay. when you die. if you live a good life.

what about while you're here. I can't answer that. I think everything that's supposed to. happen will happen. how do you think it's changed you day to. day. you. how are you different.

it has. man. in a lot of ways I mean it's put me into. a better mood you know we still. I still have my struggles I mean these. are heavy topics but it. I think it reinforced my purpose. it's. made me. treat other people that maybe I don't. necessarily agree with better. it's also.

giving me the confidence and I don't. need to budge in what I believe in I. don't need to budge in the way that I. was raised I don't need to budge. from the word of God or what's in that. Bible I'm not budging. anymore. I always thought that I was doing the. right thing and I've always. I guess I can't say always but.

ever since we met I've always. really tried to do the right thing even. when people do me wrong. and I want to. get revenge. or go after them or make an example out. of somebody or publicly humiliate. somebody that publicly humiliated me. I don't do it. because. that's not how God will want me to do it.

but it gave me the courage to. keep being that way. I don't need to budge for anybody. except God. and I know what I'm doing is the right. thing. and I know. my values. and my morals fall in line with the.

Bible. I don't care what kind of [ __ ] the. government's throwing at me. I don't care what people try to shame me. and to believing in I don't care anymore. I know I'm doing the right thing. it falls in line with that book. but I'm doing the right thing I don't. give a [ __ ] what anybody else says. and that's brought me a lot of peace. to know. that I'm doing the right thing.

what are you looking forward to most. about. diving in more to it I mean you just. started the Bible. I learned. I just want to learn. what he wants us to do. how we're supposed to live. you know and it's. how does it end. do you think there's. a party that gets. upset the more you learn about what's in.

the Bible and what is written out as. good versus evil does it make you think. even like you're even more upset at the. evil that's happening. you know what I mean. I think the thing that I struggle with. the most is forgiveness. because I don't want to forgive these. people. ever. and that's not what the Bible's about. that's my biggest struggle. you know and and yeah I know.

I'm supposed to forgive and. it's. it's hard for me to. it's just hard. do you pray I pray every night now I. pray multiple times a day now you know. and. I feel like I live my life better and. and. I've always been. you know big on family and you and our.

son and. now I think that's even better. you know and um. yeah. forgiveness is going to be tough for me. do you think you'll get there. yeah. I've gotten there with a lot of things. already. what did you think about my spirituality. before all this. what do you mean what did I think of it. I was I mean I was happy about it.

I I know like were you. wondering if you'd ever. jump into it with me or no. I wasn't into it I was I thought it was. great that you were into it. I didn't want any part of it. you know not at the time. I know you liked it when I prayed out. loud. at the end of the night. I did.

or you do. I do. what would you tell somebody that's. right now looking for a sign. don't give up. you know that's one thing I said at that. lunch that you weren't at when I was. when I lost my [ __ ]. and um because David said. something to me and he he said something.

along the lines of you you need to find. some faith. and I mocked him. and uh I was like I need to find faith. I was like I'm gonna tell you something. I was like I've had I don't know how. many guys from our community come in and. sit across from me. and tell me about how God revealed. themselves to them to them Justin Hughes. talked about it Kyle Morgan talked about. it Eddie Penny talked with lots of guys.

in here and talked about it you know on. and off camera and I said you know what. I was like. I really really try to do the right. thing I try to bring hope to the world I. try to shine a light on evil [ __ ] that. is happening on this planet. I tried to. we really I mean a lot of these stories. is overcoming like extreme trauma or or.

you know you see everyone in the in the. world and like all these especially in. this country everybody's victimizing. themselves and pouting and. honestly just. being a wuss. and and it's and and I've taken on a. responsibility. to say because I think they've been. brainwashed into thinking that they they. can't accomplish anything I can't do it. and so I bring stories out it's like.

really you think you can't do it look at. this guy. started from nothing nothing not a dime. to his name. and now look at them now he's one of the. top business guys in the country or you. know or veterans who lots of veterans I. mean you know what the kind of content. we put out with lots of veterans were. you know they're spilling their guts I. mean Tyler Vargas Nick Lavery. one leg.

they were going to kick him out of being. a green break goes back passes. everything goes back to war retires. you know I don't know if he's actually. retired yet but he's getting close but. you know what I mean and it's you see. these the kind of trauma in in the stuff. that these guys have overcome and it. brings everybody hope even My Own Story. I mean [ __ ] I tried to kill myself. in my car. and when I left the agency I had nothing.

nothing not anything I had a friend who. wound up dying. you know nobody was there to lift me up. and tell my own story and I hope that. people hear about it and and. they're like man if if if these guys can. overcome this stuff then so can I maybe. my problems aren't as bad as I thought. they were you know and anyways the whole. point being I I told Dave I'm like I do.

all these things and you know what I. never I never get a sign I never see. anything he never reveals himself to me. and. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't believe in it. do you think you are starting to see the. good. like what I've said when I said in. Sedona. like he is all around you you're just. not seeing it yeah. you are starting to see it now I'm.

seeing it and seeing what you've already. done. I don't know I mean I'm not I don't know. yeah I know I'm putting positive stuff. into the world. but I would you know I saw it at that. event that we just spoke that I just. spoke at the the. the Danny Dietz Memorial classic the. people that went to that I mean I. couldn't believe like. well. people were coming from all over the. country we met that woman flew in from. New Jersey on a whim you know I met a.

guy who drove all the way down there. from Tennessee. you know people from all over the. country came there to. just shake my hand and. say they've been praying for me one guy. gave me. one guy gave me a cross that he carried. in his uniform on every mission that he. went on in Afghanistan that crosses. right up there now right next to Gabe's. flag I didn't know that yeah lots of I. mean Lots.

definitely a lot of people came and. there was lines of people coming up tell. me telling me hey you this is how you've. impacted my life and that felt amazing. and it also felt a little awkward you. know it was overwhelming to see I'm not. a very public person I don't like going. out in public I don't know I sure as. hell don't do public speeches you know. I'm just not out there this is where. this is how I get my message across me. and you nobody else is in the studio.

you know and so it's it's hard for me to. I'll never know the full impact. that's true you know but I I guess that. doesn't matter if you just impact one. person. and you've done your part yeah you know. but um. yeah I'm not doing it for praise or. attaboys or I know I'm just doing this. because I feel like this is what I'm. supposed to be doing.

and after after this series of events. and come into the Bible and reading. about how you need to shine a light on. evil and not cower away from it like we. see everybody doing in this country. cowering away. from from their fear. that needs to be done it has to be done. and that's given me the confidence.

to know I'm doing the right thing and. you know what. if they cancel me for it. or they get rid of me or they shut me. down or whatever they do to me I don't. care. I know I did the right thing do you. think you feel like you have. the right tools now to navigate moving. forward so this doesn't. keep getting to you. I mean I think it's just a journey you. know and um.

do I think things are going to get to me. again yeah I know things are going to. get to you again I think things are. going to get to me again I mean having. the tool the right tools you're like. spiritual power you know having a. religion. and well your faith. I realize now. you always have God to fall back on. he's got you. if you're doing the right thing.

and you're doing what he wants you to do. he's got you. and that's all you need. that is all you need. do you think you do psychedelics again. I don't know you know I'm not against. them they've done a lot of good for me. but. I don't want to make this interview. about psychedelics.

and um. because that's not what it's about. it's about. it's about finding truth. diving into his word. and living a good life. and that's it.

sounds good to me. too. let's go get some lunch. is there anything else. I think that covers it. well it was definitely a different. flight on the way back. sure was. I love you babe love you too.

we can end it good. [Music]. hey everybody I'm Sean Ryan click here. to subscribe to the Sean Ryan Show. YouTube channel for the hottest and most. compelling interviews that you will not. see anywhere else I've also made a. playlist of all the previous SRS.

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