Ryan Hendrickson - Green Beret, "Welcome to Afghanistan" | SRS #90

hey everybody it's the last show of the. season and. uh it's a good one once again uh we're. releasing this as one episode we know. here at SRS how many people are out. there spending the holidays alone and. um so we want to give it to you all in. one. piece it has. been one hell of a year and um.

had some amazing guests we've uncovered. some incredible stories exposed a lot of. corruption brought a lot of Hope did. everything that I wanted to do this. year capped out at number two out of all. podcasts and um you know I just want to. say that couldn't have done it without. my team and more importantly my. wife and um here at SRS we just want to.

wish all of you a Merry. Christmas and thank you thank you for. watching the shows thank you for the. support thank you for making this all. possible cuz it wasn't for. you you know we wouldn't be. here so if you get anything out of these. please head over to Apple podcast or. Spotify leave us a review like comment. subscribe to the YouTube channel.

and. um without further. Ado please welcome my next guest Mr Ryan. Hendrickson a former Green Beret and. just a. allaround American hero somebody that we. can all look at is an example of what it. means to be a great American and just a. great. person but um once again Merry.

Christmas and I will see you in. 2024 much love. everybody God. bless Ryan Hendrickson welcome to the. show man yeah I appreciate you having me. on been uh been looking forward to it. definitely me too we've been talking for. actually we started talking right after. I interviewed Kyle Morgan he told me. about you he talked about one of the. idence in uh in the episode that I.

recorded with him and ever since then uh. Kyle and myself I was like man this dude. would make a perfect guest on the show. he brings a lot of hope he's been. through a lot and Kyle has every time. I've talked to him about you just has. phenomenal things to say about you man. yeah Kyle's I mean. there's it's hard to put Kyle in the. words he's you know from you know hero. to just just brother friend everything.

it's yeah it's it's hard to put Kyle in. words but yeah you you had one of you. had one of the greats on your show and. that was Kyle for sure I love that dude. y really love that dude but um quick. intro to you so Ryan Hendrickson you're. a United States Green Beret Army Special. Forces 22 years and 10 months in service. medically retired you're the you're an. author humanitarian founder of the. nonprofit tip of the spear.

and you're just Ryan just Ryan you're. just Ryan that's that's what. uh that's what I heard you want to be. introduced as you're just just a regular. dude yep Ryan Hendrickson I love that uh. eight deployment to Afghanistan first. one got injured in an IED blast and uh. seven deployments after mhm he lost of a. leg so um we'll get into all of that. stuff but.

every show always starts off with a. gift. ideas no idea no ideas. no. nice those are vigilance lead gummy. bears legal in all 50 states without a. prescription awesome candy that is. awesome just candy but uh it's funny man. we have like we had one guy email in.

email in once and he was like man I'm on. my third bag and I still don't feel. anything was like I was like yeah man. it's just uh yeah there's no Special. Sauce in these. ones that's awesome yeah but um so how I. like to do this interview is uh kind of. start with childhood M go through that. why you got into the military what you. did in the military we have some really. important important stuff to talk about.

uh with with your time as a Green Beret. and then we'll move into mental health I. know that's important to both me and you. and uh and then we'll get into what. you're doing now and by the way anybody. that wants to buy Ryan's book tip of the. spirits on display right here we'll link. it below make it easy on you to where. you can uh purchase the book when did. the book come out uh July 7th 2020 right. on yep cool well this will give it a uh. post twoyear threeyear boost yes so.

definitely right on man definitely but. um yeah let's just go. into childhood let's just start right. there where'd you grow up so um you know. it's funny as we were as we were talking. um earlier today so I'm actually I was. born in. California we won't hold that against. you yeah please don't we in California. in Reading up north okay yeah actually. it's a small town loggan town called. Fall River Mills and it's uh you know.

back in the' 7s when you know you're. still still logging and able to work up. there and and everything like that but. so yeah I was gr um I was born in a. small logging Town Fall River Mills and. um then shortly on you know after my dad. uh you know the Logging Company went you. know went up because of uh the spotted. aisl and everything like that and then. uh we we headed out on the road to. Oregon so I was born in California but.

um I actually claim Oregon as you know. my uh my state and a small little town L. Oregon uh another another one of those. that used to be a big login community. and you know um things happen the way. they did and so but just a lot of. hardworking you know Americans that live. out in that area and so um yeah it's you. know jumped around Oregon quite a bit. whether it was living with my grandma or. um other relatives or whatnot cuz uh we.

uh yeah we grew up uh poor extremely. poor oh yeah extremely poor was your dad. a logger family in the logging business. or yeah so dad was a logger once he. finished up um in Vietnam uh he so he. did um he did four years um in the Army. uh two tours in Vietnam and then he came. home and went directly into login and. then that's you know that's all he knew. from growing up and everything like that. in Oregon cuz um he was born and raised.

in Oregon but um but just logging and. then once the industry went up then it. was you know it's kind of now what you. know company goes bankrupt uh we're. we're you know penniless and um so that. started the journey you know. of of my childhood you know growing up. town to town to town um you're always. the outcast you're you know because. you're dirt poor you're wearing you know. hand me- down clothes that you know um I.

remember one incident that uh we had. come back from Christmas break I guess. and this kid came up to me and he's like. that's my shirt he like no this this is. mine this is my new shirt and you know. his friends grabbed me and put me up. against the locker and he pulled the tag. out and then had his name on it I was. like yeah okay so it was kind of like. that you know you're poor you're the. outcast you're moving town to town to. town so that's you know that's pretty PR. much that was how you know I grew up but.

in the weird way I actually grew up. really well U because the lessons that. my dad taught me from from his. experience and so you know my dad is a. born again Christian um he did not start. off as a Christian he was a bad bad dude. um lots of lots of drinking uh multiple.

marriages um just you know a fighter um. just just a bad dude um and so you know. and he also struggled you know with his. own mental health and his demons uh from. Vietnam and so the you know so my life. actually was in the beginning it was you. know that that real mean you know Father. Figure um not abusive towards us but he.

was just that that that bad dude you had. brothers and sisters I do yeah I have um. so four older sisters and an older. brother oh wow and I'm the youngest the. baby yeah right on but um but yeah it's. the you know so I I I had two parts of. my childhood I had the part of well. actually three parts of my childhood I. had the part of my childhood that you. know I barely remember I remember bits. and pieces from and that was when you.

know my you know my dad was you know at. his lowest. point and then um the part of my. childhood where my dad found God but he. didn't understand or he. didn't he didn't understand how you know. this new found faith and the life-saving. you know faith that he found in God he. and so it was very strict you will not.

be like me you will not you know and and. so it was very strict and very. controlled because how how I'm sorry I. want to backtrack let's go through each. phase mhm so there's the part that. wasn't good how what what what. ages are you so I remember bits and. pieces of it so I would say that I was. probably like four when he you were up. to four so zero to four years old yeah.

four or five so um my my uh so my dad my. mom had split and before then uh my. sister um and my brother Robbie Chrissy. and Paula they're all from my dad's. first wife and then my sister and I are. from you know our mom but our mom was. um she she was also a very bad person. and to the point to where the state of. California gave full custody over to my.

dad so that's that's very hard to do um. to take custody from a mother and give. it to the father do you want to talk. about that so the parts that I remember. from my mom um was. struggling um. alcoholic drug. addict and um just with multiple. different uh Partners oh when my dad was. out logging or whatnot and so a lot of.

this accumulated towards my dad finding. God. and basically how that went down was my. dad and again I I I'm probably off on. the time frame a little bit because I. was just a little kid but um situation. with um Tia went. down and my dad was driving my sister. sister Wendy and I to my Uncle Steve's.

house who was also a logger um and he. was going to drop us off there he had. the shotgun in the car in in the truck. and he was heading out to uh blow his. brains out holy [ __ ] and so he's parked. alongside the road and shotguns ready to. go and a car pulls up and a guy gets out. and says. hey there a problem do you need help car.

broke down looks like you're you know. you're out a you're out of um you're out. of. answers looks like you need you know you. need someone to talk. to and so the way my dad describes it. it's is an. Angel um because this guy was a preacher. at the local church and that was the day. that my dad was saved was um when he was. going out to um to kill himself.

so yeah and it's middle of the night. middle of the. night and you know this this guy comes. up and pulls over to see if he needs any. help and yeah he he definitely needed. help and so that's that's when my dad. found god um and so then comes the times. in your life when you're you know you're. trying. to a lot of people when they just come. into religion they're they're trying to. make up for everything they did in the. past and when you have two little kids a.

part of the situation it's like I do not. want you to grow up or to be like I was. and so I'm going to force you to act be. or whatever it is um the righteous path. down this way and so there's you know. there was a point in my life when it was. a very controlling in a. very um dominated household because my. dad did not want us to grow up and go.

down the same paths he did in life oh. okay and so the third part of my life. comes around to where then he finds he. finds his peace with himself with god. with everybody and that's and that's. when you know my dad and I are you know. our relationship and everything like. that you know it just it it just. flurries because he's you know now he's. at peace with himself he's not.

outrunning Vietnam he's not outrunning. multiple wives he's not outrunning the. mistakes he made in his life he's at. peace he's he's been forgiven for what. he thought was unforgivable to the point. of where suicide is the only answer but. now he's. forgiven and and so instead of trying to. force us um you know my sister and I. to be or or go down this path um that he.

that he wants us to now he starts to. open it up and you got to you got to. decide for yourself you got to make your. own path you know this is your life. you're going to fall down you're going. to get hurt you're going to have to get. back up again and so that's that's the. three parts of my life that I lived. growing up when did phase two what time. period was that so four to 5 to what age. um I would say phase two. was probably until I was in uh Middle. School okay so seventh eth grade yeah.

about eighth grade and then as I started. into high school um he started you know. he um he went to Bible College and. became a. pastor um but he started. to understand that you can't you can't. force this down people's throat I mean. there's you know there there there are. plenty of people out there that try and. force their beliefs and. that's that's a nogo that's that's. extremism yeah um but he just you know.

he finally you know my high school years. um although still poor um but he had he. had come to a peace with himself and now. you know I'm learning so much and you. know and it's just that's you know. that's the third phase of my life up. until join in the military but but yeah. life um you know life growing up was you.

know um you know there was a there was. another situation my dad you know when I. was a kid when he was a reborn again. Christian um he had gotten married again. and he was still out working and he'd be. gone for a while and his you know this. lady and her roommate that she had um. they were sexually assaulting me during. these these periods of my life and so. and I never told my dad about that until. How old you.

um 6 to 6 to 7 yeah [ __ ] so and I never. really talked about it because you know. in my mind it was always the tough guy. thing like oh well you know [ __ ] happens. or six years old you had that mindset. but but what that set me up. for and that that trauma you know early. on in my life set me up for. this this distrust and hatred of.

women that really really plagued me for. for a big portion of my life because if. you can do this to to me and I'm just a. I'm just a kid then all women do. this and it really you know it it it did. it it it plagued a lot of my. relationships and um you know my growth. in relationships no one could ever get.

close to me um I wouldn't let them. because if someone gets close that means. You're vulnerable and they could take. advantage of you just like that little. boy so yeah so I. definitely that was a huge you know part. of my life that I was able to to cover. up through you know um. drinking um um women and and and just. trying to make myself feel like you know.

I'm okay who cares you know [ __ ]. happens and so that you know that set. the stage for a lot of you know what. we'll talk about um further on in the. conversation but that period of my life. right there you know kind of set the. stage for a lot of failures uh later on. in my life how long did the sexual abuse. go on. for um. it was around it was around a year.

before my dad and this lady split and. then uh she kept sending me all these. toys um so I wouldn't. talk and yeah I never said a thing until. um 2010 when I was in my hospital bed. after getting blown up you kept it in. that long. yeah so one one thing that I really like. to do on this show is to bring hope cuz. there's a lot of kids there's going to.

be a lot of veterans that can relate to. your story and now with the with the. with your childhood I mean the there's. we were talking about it at breakfast. all the human trafficking that's going. on all the sexual abuse sex. exploitation parents that are just. pieces of [ __ ]. and unfortunately there's a lot of a lot. of them out there and. so looking back through all those years. I mean there's millions of kids going.

through this right now yeah and so I. what I'm asking. is what would your advice be to those. kids that are in the middle of going. through that why I chose to start. talking about it and this is only the. second time I've ever brought this up on. a public well on a on a a podcast or a. show uh the first time was just breezed. over real quickly uh because it is it is. kind. of um it's a very sensitive subject for.

me but the reason why I talk about it. now is because of what you just said. there are so many kids going through. this and they don't know what to do they. don't feel like they can say. anything um and they don't feel that. they have um a place to escape to they. don't have their own place you know it's.

it's a constant. Terror and so the advice that I do have. Looking Back Now is is the fact that I. wish I would have said. something I wish I would have um you. know cried for help I wish I didn't keep. it inside. myself for so many. years that I turned into a monster. because of.

it and. so my what I would tell that person. that's listening to this or that person. that's struggling with you know the past. um with this you know sexual trauma um. is don't you don't you don't have to let. this control your life you don't have to. become or remain a victim to this you. can take control over this and you can. use this experience regardless of how.

ugly and evil it is you can use this to. help other. people and by turning yourself making. yourself Stronger by this. situation you're going to be. better able to help those people that. that really really need it use these. situations to make yourself stronger to. help somebody else do not allow yourself.

to become a. victim of this trauma because you will. become a. monster and you'll tear everything. up I appreciate that man MH it's um you. know this year. I I made it a goal of mine to that's my. primary focus now I want to help kids. you know and. and. some of the interviews I've been doing.

have reflected. that you know and and man it's just so. common like yeah kids are going through. that stuff I interviewed this uh friend. of mine his name is prime Hall he had a. lot of sexual trauma as a kid too he had. peeping Tom in his window and and. there's. just there's a lot of kids going through. that yep and they they're likely always. will be and and this is Guy men like you.

and Prime. and the other people that I've had on. the show that have talked about it you. know yon me parks uh had a horrific. childhood and it and you know. it's you can't save all of them. unfortunately while it's happening and. so to hear testimonies of people like. you talking about it and and and the man. that you've be come and continue to. become is uh I mean that that could be.

what somebody needs to pull themselves. out of that yeah you. know yeah you can't it if you let it. it'll turn you into a monster and you'll. devour everything in your. path yeah so what kind of stuff were you. into as a kid so um beside I mean. besides giving you know my dad ulcers. because i' I'd run out into the Woods. for two or 3 days and you know forget to.

tell them that we're out camping you. know just me and some buddies or whatnot. you know we're just you know we're uh 10. 11 12 and just head out for a few days. and come back and um but that's you know. that's the trouble that I got into to. you know um that whether is out playing. war and you know and the the back. pastures and uh neighbor farmer shoots. you with rock salt cuz you're painting. his cows up with paintballs or you know. um going out camping for a few days and. forgetting to tell the old man where.

you're going stuff like that but you. know as I started to you know once we. got to where I consider my hometown L uh. L Oregon cuz I spent you know five years. there so that's the longest time I ever. spent in one place I'm Growing Up So L. Oregon is now my hometown because you. know I have eighth grade through senior. year there so and um that's when I. started to you know I got into wrestling. uh football and just you know just just.

figuring out you know how much I love. the the team sports and and um and. wrestling in general so um never never. was really a stud at any of them but I. loved them love love playing love. wrestling stuff like that so that's. pretty much what consumed um my life you. know up until I graduated was Sports. yeah. so what what got you interested in the. military uh what got me interested in.

the military was some very cold hard. facts from my dad so the way the the way. the old man put it was this he's like. look you're 18 years old um you can you. can go to college well let's face it. you're not you're not what we call. College. material he said you can go out and get. a job he said but why don't you go and. serve your country give your country. four years of your life you're going to.

grow up you're going to see the world. you're going to experience things and. then come back and figure out what you. want to do you'll have money for college. um but you know as a young man as an. 18-year-old um I I do feel you know you. need to go and serve your country give. something back to your country and then. come back and figure out what you want. in life but you can't stay here because. if I let you stay here town of you know. fort 00 people um if I let you stay here.

you're never going to leave and you're. going to be at the gas station down the. road you know 35 years old telling. stories of you know the homecoming game. your senior year or something like that. he's like you can't stay here you got to. go and you got to you got to get your. feet underneath you in life you got to. get knocked down you got to pick. yourself back up you need to get this. thing started highly recommend the. military and um so the military was. always something that was going to.

happen my dad had pushed you know he's. uh he kind of molded me for the military. my you know basically my entire uh life. and um and whether it was me out playing. army or doing whatever it was uh the. military was going to happen it's just. you know it was hard for me. to to leave home because you know. because I I did I was you know as kids a. lot of times you get institutionalized. because you're in the comfort of your. family you got you're you know you're.

know you know you're going to get fed. you're going to get taken care of you're. going to get and um it would play right. into what my dad said you'll never leave. if I don't make you leave and so the. military that was that was basically the. like well I'm joining the. military cuz it was it was going to. happen regardless um and and it was I. you know it was it was exactly what my. dad said you know you're going to go out. you're going to see the. world um you're you're you're going to.

meet people from all over the place. you're going to expand your horizons. you're going to you know you're going to. do you're going to serve your country. and then you can come back and you can. figure out what you want to do from. there but um but yeah the military did. exactly what he said it was going to do. so and um I kind of had a weird weird. path through the military I guess you. could say. so. um and you'll end up reading about it so. I might as well just tell you here but.

so I actually started off in the Navy. really yep I did four years in the Navy. um. 1996 the recruiters you know the. recruiters all come in and you're taking. the uh the asab or you know whatever and. um I think it was the Air Force they. were. like oh no no no. no no no no no we don't no we we're okay. we're you know we're Downs military's.

downsizing at the time like no we that's. really cute but no good luck to you. buddy um the Army surprisingly they. didn't need anybody um I I was you know. infantry was like an 8-month waiting. period um wow yeah just to get to boot. camp I was like okay um the Marine Corps. god the guy came in and he had I'll. never forget he had at least an entire. can of Copenhagen in his lip and he's.

sitting there yelling you don't have. what it takes to be a marine you're not. good enough I was like okay I guess. thanks for letting me know man that's. great but he scared me I like holy [ __ ]. dude you're you're really scary guy I. don't want to be around people like you. you're scary and then the Navy recruiter. nah it's like. hey you want to travel the world go to. foreign ports see foreign girls it's. like yeah he's like all right man yeah. what do you want to do in the Navy I.

don't know he's like bosen's mat's a. hell of a job you get to pick whatever. you want from there you could be doing. he didn't mention you know the actual. job of a bosen's mate so I like man this. sounds amazing and he showed me pictures. of Australia Thailand Singapore and I. was like I want to do that and uh yeah. so it's color cring right across the. dotted line and here here I go Anchors. Away and um I did I did all of that I.

got to travel the world um I was never. on a nuclear vessel so we were able to. go into all the ports that like nuclear. uh nuclear power or nuclear capable um. ships weren't allowed to go um cuz I was. on anib the USS sharief Port and then I. was on the USS Camden so I actually did. a med cruise and a westpack so I circled. the globe on a ship and I went to all. kinds of ports and did everything that. that the recruiter said he like yeah. this is this this is what you can do I.

mean I I never you know he's like you. ever seen Top Gun yeah he goes That's. the Navy I I never flew at 14 tomats but. uh but yeah I mean that's that's the. entire Navy yeah yeah in a nutshell top. gun's going to be your experience yeah. yeah as a. boatman's and so yeah it was just uh I. mean it now 44 year-old Ryan Henderson. could never go back and do what. 18-year-old Ryan Hendrickson did you.

know two ships commissioned in the 7s. boiler fed oh my Lord Persian Golf and. the summer both times like GH I couldn't. go back and do it but I'm so happy I did. it you know you know what I'm saying and. it and I did I grew you know I grew as a. man and I I met people from all over the. United States um my my horizons. broadened and um and I did I I was ex I. I was able to experience a lot but there.

there was one experience that I had that. paved my way um. for the war on terror and my and my role. in it and that was when the USS coal was. bombed um we were a couple hours away. from it and so we you know we basically. went full steam ahead to the Gulf of. Aiden and us and the Donald Cook were. the first ships on the scene um to help.

rescue um the the survivors of the coal. and body. recovery so yeah that was um that was. kind of my eye opening to oh people want. to kill us like this this is a real. thing um you know sailing up to it that. large hole in the side of it um the. smell you know the the smell of bodies. and stuff like that it was it was my. first like oh wow like these guys want.

to kill us and that was one of the first. salvos of the war on terror you know. with. Al-Qaeda so not only did I get these. experiences you know that my dad had. talked about that the Navy recruiter. talked about but I also got my eyes. opened to what I would experience later. on as a Green. Beret um fighting in the war. on war on terror in Afghanistan so but.

um but yeah that was uh that was the. first Branch what what triggered you to. move over to the move to the Army well. so the Navy was the first Branch so then. I got out and I was like I'm going to do. the civilian thing horrible civilian. horrible tried it for two years. trash and um you know I'd get mad at. people cuz we're supposed to show up on. time they're 30 minutes late but why why.

why what's the problem I was I was high. um I'm you know it's not my fault I was. drunk you know I was like all right I'm. not going to fit in very well out here. in the civilian world so um I was I was. married at the time but um you know I. was like hey I'm I want to join the Army. and my first wife she you know she's. well she's coming out of the army so she. no no no I don't I don't want want to be. in the Army um I don't want to be an. Army Wife you know I'm I'm done with the.

Army it's like okay so we agreed upon. the Air. Force so in January. 2003 um I join I transferred over to. well not transferred I joined the Air. Force and the Air Force I was I was an. ammo troop just just regular you know. just a Flightline guy um is great job. great job it you know I spent a year in. in Korea one of the best years of my. military life um I'm getting to see the.

world from. there. um there you know I you know did a few. deployments um you know nothing nothing. crazy no no no combat um but one trip to. uh one trip to. Iraq and um that's where I ran into my. first Oda. team and and so I'm you know I'm at the. gym and here's the here's the bearded. ones it's like oh my God so all the you.

know we're all we're all talking about. what we think we know you know about. about either SEAL Teams or Green Berets. or anything like that this is like dude. this is what I heard no no no man I got. a buddy who knows a buddy who knows. another buddy that has a friend that. used to be yeah like no no no that's not. [ __ ] dude he looked at me once you know. kind of you know we're we're a bunch of. we're a bunch of you know uh groupies. guess you could say so I'm at the gym. and this guy comes up he's like hey man.

can you give me a spot he like yeah yeah. Okay cool so we ended up we ended up. talking for for a long time and he's. like yeah man um we got a guy on our. sister Oda team uh he was in the Air. Force he transferred over um and went. through the X um 18 x-ray course and. yeah he's yeah he's he's a he's a Green. Bay right now too so now I'll said I'm. like oh you can do. that yeah yeah it's a blue to green.

transfer kind of thing so then okay got. it you know I was a boson mate in the. Navy I was an ammo troop in the Army. you're not going to jump straight over. to Green bra there's no way you can't. you can't do that you got to be infantry. or Ranger or something how are you no so. I just put it out of my mind so um as my. Air Force time is you know it's I'm at. you know four years and some months and. now I'm going through a divorce it's.

like okay um I need I I I really need to. shake things up in my life I I've never. really challenged myself um I need. to I I need to do something something to. get my mind off of what's going on right. now and you know again I ran my marriage. into the ground because um I still was. that monster that was just. just Paths of Destruction everywhere I.

went blaming it all on my past like I. deserve this this is why I'm this way so. that's yeah I'm allowed I'm victimized. I'm allowed to do this what kind of. Destruction um just the just the. drinking um. infidelity uh just think you know um. not never never. being actually mentally. there or available or anything like that. because the minute you let that person.

in close is the minute they're going to. hurt you they're going to hurt you you. it's going to. happen it's just when because all women. are going to hurt. you and so and because I was still. victimized and not able to let. go or turn my my past into to a tool to. help me better other people or to make.

me stronger to help other people I was. using it as my crutch to be a piece of. [ __ ] and to be an ugly and evil human. being because I deserve this because of. what happened to me no but that's what. my mindset was so going through the. divorce you know I had victimized myself. oh she she left me and and all this. other stuff re refusing to realize that.

the only reason why everything failed. was because of me 100% no ANS ifs or. butts I ran it completely into the. ground um took a good girl and torter. shreds all because I was being a little. boy and living off of my self-entitled. victimization so you know she did what. she should have done years before that.

she. left and I 100% I I wish she would have. done it. earlier but um this point in my life. it's like okay well I I need to do. something with my life I need I need a. victory I've got all kinds of defeats. I've got nothing but zeros I don't have. any ones I need I need something and so. I'm going into the personnel office and. you know to basically here you know how.

well I don't know if you know but if. you're going through a divorce you got. to be submitting the paperwork and. everything like that so they're tracking. what's going on so I go to the personel. office and there's this poster on the. wall and it has a guy in uniform and. half the uniform is Air Force dress. blues and the other half is Army class. A's it's blue to green. and you can do an inner service transfer. if you are in an Overman career field in.

the air. force over to the Army it's like okay. well huh let me so I asked about it in. my career field was overmanned and I. qualified for a direct service transfer. over but now it's what do you want to do. and so my dad my dad's time in Vietnam. he spent it um as a um he was a. helicopter crew chief on huies for MC. vog oh wow so he was not a Green Beret.

but he was a support guy um for M vog as. a um helicopter Crew Chief and then you. know in the air. Gunner so he you know he' always talked. about the Green Berets and I had the the. um the opportunity in Tyra to really. dive into what they do and and. everything like that and. so I'm sitting. there and I have all this self-doubt.

like there's no way I can do it can't do. it never going to happen why would I. even try but then um my dad had told me. something when I first joined the. military um in back in the Navy and he. said you know I'm going to going to give. you some advice here and he. said there's two there's two old men. sitting on a porch in their rocking. chairs he said one old man is miserable. and the other old man is content he said.

the the first old man who's. miserable he is miserable because he let. he let life pass him by he never took a. chance he never stepped out of his. comfort zone he never failed he was. scared to fail he never tried anything. that he could fail at he never he never. put himself in vulnerable situations to. where he may look stupid stupid or again. fail and so he always stayed in his.

comfort zone he never tried anything. that he could not. accomplish and because of that he's. sitting in his chair and he's looking. back on all the I wish I would have in. life and he. saw that he had wasted life he had let. all of life pass him by and never did. anything and now he he he just you know. it was a life unfulfilled he's an empty.

shell of a man the other old man he was. sitting there and he's you know he's. drinking his beer and he's looking back. on everything he did in life and he's. fulfilled he's gave life he's taken life. he's he's failed he's succeeded he's. done everything there was to do that he. could do as a. man everything he's learned he's helped. people he's you know. failed um been knocked down gotten back.

up but he's lived a fulfilled life and. he doesn't have any I wish I would have. he's just sitting back and he is. enjoying the remainder of his time. knowing that he did the very best he. could with what he had and that and. that's a man with fulfillment he said. which which old man do you want to be he. said you can live your life in your. comfort zone and never try never never. take a chance at.

failing you can do that but there's. going to be a point in time in your life. when you're going to look back and. you're going to have to um reckon with. what you did and did not do and he said. I wish I would have are a dungeon a. prison for Old Men He said don't grow up. with I wish I would have so when I was. at the Army recruiter he said hey we. have this 18 x-ray we need Green Berets.

what do you think and I was. like out if I don't make it or when I. don't make it at least I can say I. tried so I signed up and uh yeah I think. um couple weeks later I was at Fort. Benning going through infantry basic. getting ready to go on through jump. school and then selection and. to the Q course if if selected so man.

I'm going to use that story for my son. yeah that's amazing yeah it's the truth. it's the truth life life will pass you. by and how many people do we see out. here that will will never step out of. their comfort zone probably about 90%. yeah they'll never take a chance of. failing y you see it everywhere yeah and. the thing is about failure. is if you use failure correctly it'll.

make you. stronger for when you succeed. mhm and that's and and that's the TR I. mean that's that's the. truth that's a good story yeah yeah it's. um yeah there's there's going to be a. lot of uh I call them I call them old. man isms yeah that uh that that he's uh. he's put on me through throughout the. years and it's all it it's it's all from. the life that he lived it's not no one.

could ever say like well how do you know. it's like oh have a seat let's talk. we're about ready to go down memory lane. you're going to see I got plenty of. experience with good bad evil and then. pulling myself out and making myself a. better person you know that saying like. once a loser always a loser it's not. true it's not true you can take those. experiences and make yourself stronger. and help other people with it then to me. his lessons learned damn right damn.

right I'm glad you said that yep but um. so so yeah that's uh you know now I'm. I'm on my path 18. x-ray um I'm in I'm in infantry basic. and I love it I love every bit of it. because my mind is off of it I'm off of. you know the the the [ __ ] storm I. created for myself by running a good. woman through the ground um I'm just I'm.

buried into the training and then next. thing you know jump school and I hated. it hated jump school I hate everything. about Heights didn't know that before. but I hated hated everything about it I. was like this job is not for me I do not. belong up in an aircraft jumping out of. it stupid but I did it and then um. selection and I remembered we started. off with 405 guys in an October.

class and um by time you know the dust. settled there was um 55 of us left and I. think 22 got or no no 55 got selected. out of the 405 that's right so 55 got. selected and out of that. 55 uh 22 of us made it through the court. um but once the dust settled and they.

you know they read off my Roster number. 049 selected it's like oh that's me wait. what that's was just a BOS mate and an. ammo troop how's that you know um so it. was it it it it was a great you know. accomplishment to get selected even. though that's you know selection isn't. yeah what get going through the C course. and you figure out like selection wasn't. that bad there's parts of the Q course.

where you're like wow this is this is. this is pretty horrible but um you're. learning and you know I'm just I'm. progressing through and um I you know I. get done with you know selection now I'm. in SC and then sear and then you know. from there we go to language school and. then then I realized what the Air Force. was really talking about about like yeah. your test scores you're kind of dumb you. know kind of um but make it through. language school and then you know what.

was your language Spanish so and now I'm. in um MOS phase so 18 Charlie. demolitions and um finish that now Robin. sage the end of Robin sage you know the. instructor brings each candidate one by. one over tells you if you're a fail uh. recycle or a pass recycle or. fail um and brings me over and it's like. all right w w welcome to the Brotherhood.

you pass it's like I did wow it's you. know and it. was yeah it was just so fulfilling it. was just that that day and that you know. how everything went down um you know. it's one of those things that you'll. remember for the rest of your life and. um so when I found out that I was I was. going to graduate and become a Green. Beret um yeah I thought you know like. all right I'm at I'm at the Pinnacle I. did it life is smooth sailing from here.

right I just accomplished a a fairly. difficult you know training course to go. through um fairly fairly difficult yeah. it's difficult but but the mil I mean. there's a lot of difficult courses in. the military you there are yeah whether. it's bus the one you went through being. one of the top ones yeah whether it's. buds or the combat control um per rescue. um Special Forces marso yeah there's.

there's some we United States can breed. some special operators for sure um in my. in in my humble opinion uh best in the. world um just as our military and our. special. operations. um yeah the best in the world but that's. again that's just my opinion U there you. know for the the British uh brothers. that are listening just my opinion you. know so but um but yeah so you know I'm.

sitting here and I'm I'm graduating and. it's smooth sailing and and life life is. going to be easy after this right Green. Beret now I did it and uh failed to. realize one real critical part of life. is life doesn't care what course you. just made it through or how badass you. think you are uh-uh life is even more. badass and it's going to it's going to. pound you. down and so you know I'm riding this.

High forgetting that you still it's. still. life and and yeah it didn't it didn't. take very long at all for life to show. me like hey dude I'm still in control. here that was one wrong. step yeah now what are you going to. do so and that yeah so what was that. wrong step so my first I graduated Q.

course I get to Seven Special Forces. Group um get to my Oda where uh you know. Kyle and I were together Kyle Moran and. I were on the same Oda um when I first. get there he takes me underneath his. wing and um you know and I start to go. through the um the new guy isms and. everything like that now okay hey we're. getting ready to deploy um they've been. home for 4 months and uh we're doing the. we're doing the um.

Surge and um we're heading back what. year is this uh 2010 okay yep so we. started working up for that deployment. in April and we were boots on the ground. in. June yeah April yep um so yeah it was a. very fast transition from when they. first got home to hey we need we need. you guys back over there again um and.

the area we were going to even prompted. a response from the chairman joint Chief. of Staff Admiral Mullen at the time cuz. him and his Entourage they flew out to. where we were conducting premission. training. PMT and gave us a visit said hey you. guys are going to a real bad area you. know we need you kind of talk. and U where we were going was to the chu. River Valley um along the Helman river.

that separated arus Gan and um Helman. Province and you know insurgents were. using that as a funneling highway to. conduct attacks in um in around you know. kahar in the area stuff like that so. weapons um men weapons equipment along. the Helman River there we were going to. replace a third group group team that. was there um they had been fighting. every single day and that's where we.

were going so. um we get get everything you know uh PMT. premission training's done and we're uh. we're you know we're we're loading up. and we're heading out and I'm you know. now now it's like okay this is what I. you know this is what all the training. is for I'm I'm now you know this was. that one missing part of my life to. where yeah I had a great job in the Navy. I had a great job in the Air Force but. something was always. missing um that you know that accomp or.

you know getting getting actually into. the fight um and so now now it's come. and yeah from Landing from Landing in um. bam then our movement over to uh kahar. and uh then we start we pack up and we. you know we get our vehicles and we're. starting to move move out to Firebase Ty. and within 3 days we're ticked up we're.

we're in a fight um same story everybody. you know it's it's not it's not like. this is you know a big dramatic thing. it's everybody in the surge was getting. in fights because we were pushing into. areas that were that were um previously. dominated by the Taliban Andor Al-Qaeda. so how long were you in country before. you start got in your first. gunfight um. I think five days that's it mhm so this. is brand new green ber yeah going on to.

your very first deployment. MH and 5 days later you're in a gun. fight yeah it actually was it was. actually funny what happened so we were. driving up to do our left seat right. seat ride um to this area we called the. West Bank or the Alamo where we'd be at. and I was like that's I think that's a. bad name for this place because I don't. think the Alamo worked out too well the. last time in Texas but okay whatever so.

we're we're making our way out there and. you know the captain of the of the third. group team um I'm driving he's TC and. he's like okay this is where you got to. just hit the gas cuz we're going to get. we're going to get lit up on this open. stretch of about um uh 2 2,000 M from. here the last Co or last cover we. weren't really concealed but the last. cover to the Alamo we got to gun it and.

it's up a hill and then it's surrounded. in a fishbowl kind of and so they have. guns on all the high points and it's. just shooting down into this place and. like huh all right and then you got the. Helman River on the other side so you. can't really go. anywhere um and he's like all right all. vehicles move and hit the gas and rg33. doesn't take take off like a like a bolt. of lightning it gets them speed up but. once you're up to speed this also. doesn't stop on a dime either um so.

we're we're heading there and now all a. sudden you're hearing the tink tink tink. tink tink and um V you know rounds are. hitting the vehicles and then all a. sudden swack uh the front window. shatters or not I'm sorry not shatters. spiderwebs um and Captain's yelling he's. like drive drive drive because one more. of those and it's probably gonna is. probably going to cave in on us and so. we were thinking a diska probably hit. the front windshield um diska round.

sorry so we make it into you know we. come flying into the gates there and uh. guys are all up on the perimeter and. everyone's shooting back and forth and I. jumped out of vehicle and and we're all. you know all right you get up there and. help support that or. whatnot and it was just it was it was. Controlled Chaos you know is this is. this is this the first gunfight you've. ever been in yeah yeah it's Controlled. Chaos we're we're taking we're taking uh.

fire from the ridgel line we're taking. fire from the Helman River This World. War I style trench line that they had. over there that we had hit multiple. times and then they come back out and. they're ready for round two it's like. how is how are you guys doing this um so. I mean it's it it's a pretty it's a. pretty good you know um fight um and. then air shows up on station and and as. you remember back in and I say back in. the day I was it's it's not really back.

in the day it 2010 but in the 2010 time. um you really had to need air support to. get it because they didn't have enough. platforms for the amount of guys that. were out and so um we finally get air on. stations a couple hours later and um. then you know everyone you know you'll. get sporadic fire here and there but. everything Fades away because now you. got air on station. um and that's that's how our time um in. the Alamo was that's that's how you know.

at the Westbank that's that's how it was. it was almost like clockwork all right. breakfast is over yep here they here. comes the rounds in you know shit's. coming all right it's about lunchtime. prayer time all right going to take a. break all right here we go again yep all. right good to go and then all right I'm. pretty much everyone's done for the. night okay yep good and it was it was. just Clockwork it was like orchestrated. kind of yeah um up there and if they.

were hitting us they weren't hitting um. Cobra and if they were hitting COBRA. they probably weren't hitting us and so. it was just it was just crazy for you. know weeks and weeks and weeks we were. doing this and. um but the reason why we were there was. um basically we had OverWatch and we had. command and control of that part of the. valley because we were going to be doing. a major company clearance operation in. the chu River Valley um to push you know.

these guys out hopefully into spaces. where we can hit them with aircraft and. kill them um and at the time I mean with. reports there was there was reports from. you know 2,000 um Taliban fighters in. the valley to who knows what but 2,000. yeah but what does that really mean you. know 50 you know in Afghan numbers or. but but you know the reports were coming. in and so we knew like this is a bad bad.

area like we're once we once we kick. off um we're going to we're going to be. in it um from everything from the amount. of engagements we've had for months up. to this point to the reports that are. coming in everything we're we're we're. going to be in a fight and um and so you. know we had planned the kickoff of the. mission September 11th. 2010 and basically it revolved around.

Roda and our partner Force we going to. be pushing up from the south while an. Oda and Commandos were going to come in. from the Central and then a couple odas. we're with their partner Force we're. going to come down from the north and. basically kind of squeeze um the. fighters up into the mountains and then. just bomb the crap out of them toror. Style and so it's like all right um. we're getting you know we're getting. prepped for the mission and um men.

weapons equipment everything's good to. go got to get it across the Helman River. um we did it with uh you know some. pretty ingenious um inventions by myself. with styrofoam and zodiac rafts but you. know got four-wheelers across everything. like that nothing nothing sank to the. bottom of the Helman thank God cuzz I. was the new guy on the team really. really didn't need that um but now you. know so it's September 10th we're.

starting to stage and it's quiet it's. dead quiet nothing's moving in the. valley it's like all right obviously. they're tipped off but okay so now you. know all right last last check of. everything it's September 11th we're. moving to our last covered and. concealed and um we're waiting on. kickoff. um from The. Jock SO waiting on sodi to give us. kickoff September 11th um it's probably.

you know 10 10:30 p.m. 11: and we get we. get kickoff it's time yep missions go. time to go green light so um captain. gets on the radio is like all right guys. everyone up let's move and our first. objective we were going to be clearing. uh um the the village of SE. Pest and it was multiple compounds but.

we had taken a lot of fire from there so. we knew bad guys were in the area and if. they weren't in the area then there's. going to be IEDs in the area for sure um. we had dealt with IEDs up to that point. but we knew that once we got past that. certain part in the river everything was. going to be. IED um. and so we get up to our you know our. first basically controlled stop and now.

now it's 1:00 a.m. you know we had moved. for a couple hours um slow movements I'm. up in the front with uh my Afghans and. we're clearing you know clearing the. route like everyone always does and just. slow movement to the first set of. compounds and um and as we' rehearsed. with our Afghan Partners um they were. actually a militia. force and um as we rehearsed with them. it's like we're going to get to a. certain point then um you guys are going.

to go and clear this compound you know. we're going to get a foothold in it. we're going to clear it of IEDs. everything like that and then we're. going to have our first command and. control we're going to have our first. C2C so okay good to go just like we. rehears so we got to the first point. about 25 M away from the first compound. and I told uh I told our our interpreter. Nick I was like all right all right Nick. yeah tell them let's go all right go. clear that compound it's like yeah doing. green ber [ __ ] here it's good.

stuff no one's. moving Nick did you tell him yeah I told. him well tell him again like just like. we rehearsed come on it's it's that time. let's go clear this compound they said. it's too dangerous well no [ __ ] that's. that's why we're here I know this it's. very. dangerous tell him again okay he tells. him no. said no but that's that's not what we. planned we we practiced this you can't.

say no can you you can't say no oh okay. well why said it's too dangerous this is. you know you're better trained you. should go first it's like Well yeah if. this was Texas and we were clearing a. you know a a small town in Texas from. insurgents I would yeah it's my country. I'll go first yeah but this is your. country let's go no it's like all right. so I turned around to tell my teammate.

um who was actually the team Sergeant. also turned around to tell him like Hey. these guys aren't. moving um and he he he grabs me and he's. like go get Nick away from that door. right now it's like what what are you. talking about so our interpreter had. wandered down to the first breach Point. um doorway whatever you want to call it. of the of compound. 001 and he's trying to wave them down. you know still noise and light.

discipline so he's not yelling you know. follow me or anything like that he's. just trying to wave him down well he's. are only turp and and we have a bunch of. militia guys with us so we so it's like. go get them away from that door now it's. like oh [ __ ] so I again I'll backtrack. here in a second but I wander down to. where he's at. and I grab him on the shoulder you know. what what are you doing man what the. [ __ ] are you doing back up now move back.

to Lance's position what are you. doing stupid you know and so he steps. away from the breach and I cover his. movement back cuz as of right now. whatever is inside of that compound is. the unknown we don't know if a guy's. about ready to stick an AK Barrel out. there and start spraying have no idea. so I'm covering his movement back and um. and then I see I see something kind of.

move out of the corner of the compound. I'm like oh what is that I need I need. to get a better look at this and um and. then I you know I can't really quite see. it I don't know what it was was it a cat. was it a person is someone moving up. along the wall I I have no idea so I. take a step in to look and. boom I had stepped on a pressure plate. IED in the breach.

point. so I'm I at first I don't know what. happened Nick's laying on the ground he. had made it back like um probably. probably like 5 to 7 meters from me. Nick's laying on the ground ears are. ringing um it's the hallway yelling you. know what I mean um or the yelling down. a tube I guess is what you call it or. something yeah yeah echoing yeah the. echoing yeah and it's what you hear you. hear as you're coming too you hear. echoing voices yeah and the ringing the.

just the ringing and and then at first. it was this huge flash of light and now. I'm having a hard time seeing but I'm. surrounded with dust and ammonia you. know that hme ammonia smell and I'm like. if I don't get out of here I'm going to. suffocate I can't. breathe and so I'm trying to get up but. I can't I'm trying to move but I can't. so I'm getting mad it doesn't hurt I. don't know what happened but I'm getting.

pissed because I can't get up how long. do you think you were. out seconds that's it yeah if I was even. out at all I don't think I ever went out. no [ __ ] mm so I'm I'm laying there and. as the ringing and everything I'm like. okay I can't move I don't know why I. can't move but you know I I just stop. control your breathing what happened. RPG uh recoiless like like what happened.

I I know what's supposed to I'm supposed. to be doing right now because I've seen. guys get blown up and you start. screaming and and stuff like that it's. like what happened and then as the dust. starts to clear and again I'm talking. minutes here this is seconds you know. but as the dust starts to clear I look. down at my right leg and it's at a my. boot is at a 90° angle to my. leg and so I'm trying to figure out.

because again let's go back to the ASVAB. test score not the brightest trying to. figure out why my boot is pointing at a. 90° angle to my leg it's like well I. didn't take my boot off but huh so the. dust clears a little bit more and now. I'm hearing you know people are um Lan. is yelling like Ryan Ryan you okay Ryan. and I pick my leg up from behind the. knee and my boot flops over and then I.

see I'm sticking out of my pant legs I. see these two pretty white objects. like the bone should be the color of. bone you can't call it white it's it's. this whole new glowing you know it's. September 12th it's 4 something in the. morning it's about that time when you're. like do I need nods yes no you know that. kind of time but these. two objects that are sticking out of my.

pant leg are like glowing. white and then I realized that's my Tib. and my fib and I and then that and then. it hit me the pain just. oh [ __ ] there that's there it is I'm hit. I'm hit I'm hit I'm hit and yeah that's. like that pain of. God I've never felt anything like that. before um just excruciating pain and it.

it felt like it took forever for me for. it to hit me because I had to realize. what happened you know my brain wasn't. Computing the pain and again I'm not I I. I'm not Neuroscience or anything like. that but for me once I realized that was. my Tib and my FIB it it absolutely. just smash me like it like getting hit. with by a truck I've never been hit by a. truck but I would imagine that would.

probably be pretty painful too it was. your Tib and FIB were coming out of the. leg that the part of the was it. completely blown off no so um was it the. part that was still attached or the part. that yeah so my yeah it was coming out. of my right leg just here um right above. my ankle. so and um so I'm laying there and I'm.

you know I I I hear people in the. background like now people are starting. to get there figuring out what what. happened um and Lance yells he's like. Ryan we're trying to get to you um hold. on get your tourniquet out and so I'm. trying to Fumble with my tourniquet but. I'm in shock like I can't believe what I. just saw my leg is at a 90°. angle and you know that was my Tib and.

my Fib so it's right here mm that's. that's where the bones came out of [ __ ]. yeah. so I'm I'm trying to get my tourniquet. and I'm but I keep looking down horrible. mistake with injuries don't don't look. at it just you know look at your thigh. and then start to start to get that. tourniquet on but I I keep looking down. and just keep putting my head back and I. remember you know Ryan we're trying to. get to you um we got to we got to clear.

up to you um and this is all Lance other. guys are on the radio what the just. happened who was that um what H you know. trying to figure out trying to get a you. know at least three W's out of it at all. but Lance is in shock because you know I. stepped on an IED 25 meters from him and. who was Lance he was the teams art okay. so he's in shock um I'm going in the. shock and he's you know he's screaming.

for a. medic and I just I remember did he put. the tourniquet on you no um no I I. remember looking back because I'm laying. this way here's the compound and I'm F. and I can see Lance in the background. and he seemed so far away and I. remember I laid my head back and I said. I'm gonna I'm going to die here today no.

one can get to. me and I remember I remember looking. up and I instantly started going through. my life in the mistakes that I've made. and the people that I hurt and the paths. of. Destruction that I had created and I was. ashamed. of. myself that I was going to. die there that day never have ever being.

a man I was always a little. boy and that's how I was going to. die and so I remember asking God for. forgiveness. and under understanding that you know I. mean people could read into it and say. oh well you gave up you accepted death. okay okay maybe I did I don't know what. mind State I was in but I remember. looking. up and I was asking God for.

forgiveness and then there was this hawk. flying just circling. me and it was it was crazy it was like. we're we're in a full fight right now um. the Taliban had they were moving down. the river our OverWatch guys were. engaging him aircraft for coming in. engag him there's a fight going on all. around me and there's just this one Hawk. circling me with the aircraft and.

everything. and people say well how do you know God. is real cuz I saw. him yeah I saw him that day he told me. you know I got. you this is your wakeup. call so I laid my head back and it took. about probably and I was like I'm just. gonna go to. sleep. slap and teammates got to me George.

magana and Kyle Morgan and then slap. again and I'm like quit they got to you. yeah Kyle so hold on the team sergeant. that was behind you MH you said 25 M mhm. what was he doing and why didn't he. render Aid to. you I can't answer that I don't know I. shock maybe shock. [Music]. um yeah I I don't have a good answer for.

that okay so Kyle Morgan and who and. George. MC so how far did they have to go to get. to you do you know a long ways through. Minefield through a Minefield M so this. guy's 25 M away yeah and these other two. guys Kyle Morgan and the other dude go. through a Minefield to get to you mhm. just to slap you on the face no I'm just. kid yeah yeah George hit me I was man I. was pissed but yeah they they understood.

that where there's one IED there's. there's five there's 10 there's two. there's. 20. um and they. knew that I was on a I was on a time I. was on a Time. clock and if if they didn't get to me. regardless of their LIF limb or eyesight. I was going to. die. um how many of you guys were there how.

many Green Berets were on the ground. roughly rough roughly. 12 yeah um we I think we had our whole. Oda for the mission um whether we had. guys up on OverWatch or um down actually. doing the clearance um we had about. 12 so. but yeah Kyle. and a George um they got to me and. started rendering Aid immediately um I.

think I I can't quite remember but I. think I had attempted my tourniquet but. it was just loose you could move it up. and down your leg it was you know um and. then they just started cranking that. sucker down and I remember I was like. hey this really hurts like stop they're. like crank again it's like oh my God. please stop you know and I yeah I was. like tourniquet are worse than getting. blown up this really. hurts like who who invented this.

stupid um but yeah then you know they. hit me with a fit and all lollipop I. chew it up immediately you know I'm just. I'm begging for painkillers hit me with. a morphine shot and all of a sudden I. have I I I have hives everywhere it's. like oh I'm allergic to Morphine like. okay this is a great time to figure this. out um but you know it's okay hey we we. got Ryan we got Ryan stable Talan are. moving in right now we got to move they.

took the butt stock off my M4 Ace. wrapped my leg up because we're we're. about ready to have a hasty Ambush put. in on us and um what I did was I kind of. the a the the Taliban had an ambush set. up for us but I had kind of messed it up. for him because I stepped on an IED a. little bit earlier than they thought. it's like well you shouldn't have armed. it. but um we uh yeah it's time it's time to. move we can't drop Taliban know it very.

well if we Clos the distance with the. Americans they're not going to drop. bombs on us so now we have a gunfight. good those are those are good odds for a. guy on The High Ground a guy on the low. ground um so now it's like okay time to. go uh so basically it's like where. where's the litter it's like we didn't. bring a litter. and you know um I'll never I'll never. forget this call so our captain um and.

he he lost both of his legs the next. deployment but our captain is on the. radio and he's like hey we got we got a. patient urgent. critical and the metac was they said. well we can't we can't go down there and. pick them up it's too hot there there's. too much gunfire RPG stuff like that we. can't get down there you have to move. him out we can't get down there he's. like we need you guys down here now he. this this this guy's going to die and.

he's like one guy or a whole air. crew [ __ ] and and over icon chatter the. Taliban were celebrating I could hear. him laughing and. cheering you could hear that yeah over. icon chatter cuz Nick had the Icom up. and he was monitoring their movements to. us and they were celebrating he was like. they're celebrating they killed you know. the American they're celebrating and you. know they played that [ __ ] horrible.

music that they. do and um it was over me and so um that. was burnt you know obviously into my. mind you do you remember that vividly. vividly yep and so um the call you know. there's a lot of indecision on the. ground and Kyle finally and Kyle's like. it I'm in in you're out I I'm taking. over this who's out Lance the the team. sergeant that was okay so he was in he.

just he couldn't pull it together yeah. wrong job yeah um so now Kyle is's like. Ryan it's going to hurt really bad I'm. picking you up I got to carry you and um. and it was it was it was extremely. painful um but Kyle picks me up. enironment carry and um and starts. moving to where we can set up an hlz and. actually land um actually land a.

Blackhawk to get me out of there and I. mean 1,500. M. um and it's just yeah it. was Kyle carried. you, to 1500 M yeah we had to stop a. couple times so he could you know um. kind of loosen up a little bit how was. he carrying you fireman's carry yeah mhm. fireman's carry but he just kept moving. with full kit yeah with holy [ __ ] yeah.

yeah he just he just kept moving because. um saving my life meant more to him than. his comfort his. pain. um anything that was going on in his. mind at the time and even his own life. that's what it meant to save my. life. so and so yeah they you know it was.

years later when Kyle and I talked and I. didn't realize that the whole team knew. that that was my last flight I was going. to die on the. helicopter from blood. loss and yeah I didn't I didn't realize. it was that bad I mean I knew it was bad. because in Taran cout they had told me. that you know I or I didn't it's like.

meat at the fridge or you know at the. supermarket but I had expired twice I. was like okay is that bad it's like oh. God you're dumb yeah man it means you. died twice it's like damn oh and uh. blood transfusions and everything but. yeah if it wasn't if it wasn't for Kyle. carrying me out and Kyle and George's. quick response to me yeah that that. would have been it I would have died. right there along the helmet. River damn Ry yeah let's take a quick.

break some heavy. stuff good time for a break let's take a. quick break. yeah you've heard me talk about them. before I want to tell you about hoist IV. level hydration hoist is made in the USA. and has half the sugars and three times. the electrolytes that some other sports. drinks without artificial Dives or. preservatives hoist is on a majority of. the US military bases globally serving. our warfighters in operations and in.

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enjoyed 24-hour access I just want to. personally say thank you for your. unwavering patience and it's going to be. a very exciting 2020 for us we continue. to bring you more from vigilance. [Music]. Elite all right Ryan we're back from the. break we had just wrapped up your story. you're on the bird heading home and uh. you know we only really have one.

perspective and that's yours so I got. one of your teammates on the line here. Kyle Morgan yeah and uh he's going to. give us his perspective of what happened. Kyle you on here yes I. am can you hear me Brian can you uh can. you hear me yeah what's up what's up. brother what's up man I'm glad uh I'm. really glad that you're uh you're. sitting down and doing this interview. man um your story is incredible brother.

and I'm just glad to have been a part. even a smaller part of it um in what. you're continuing to do man so Sean. you're you're in the the best hands you. could be uh with what Sean's doing for. this country and arguably for this. world thank you brother well Kyle we. just wrapped up we had talked about this. on your episode too but um I just wanted. to get your perspective of everything. that happened on uh September 12th.

2010 starting from where Ryan went to. the breach. Point yeah so I mean like you mentioned. I I talked about this in in the. interview I did with you because this. this was a a pretty big part of of uh. you know the journey that I've been on. in my own. you know healing and and and growth and. uh and just um being there for your. mates and um you know so backing up to.

that that day itself um you know we. infilled across that that river which it. wasn't a small River the Helman River. and and you know I think it's it's. important to mention that we had gotten. some human intelligence that they booby. trapped the doorways that night um which. we knew they were you know daming up the. irrigation canals running disas down. wheel barrels you know using the cover. concealment piece of it and um you know. we were taking effective fire daily I.

mean that's how I met Ryan was in trial. by fire and um you know I was in sodic. and I I missed our premission training. but when he got to the team and he he. was just you know he just this this uh. you know new guy on the team that had. you know he's probably older than me and. I was like um I think he was in the Air. Force and the Navy I was like what are. you doing what are you doing here and um. but just happier happier than [ __ ] to be. there and um you know so we I feel like.

we owed it to to all of our guys on our. team to to once we got that report you. know to to give it to give it the energy. it needed and and you know I think I. protested us infilling that night but. based on us so we could actually you. know re re-evaluate some things and um. based on resources and us not being able. to get resourced and we finally did with. with all the different you know moving. pieces of this close air support and all. that you know we went ahead and we went. did it and um we thought we you know we.

could mitigate some of the risk by going. in over up and over walls and blowing. holes through walls instead of going. through the thresholds and you know you. know we're clearing every step we take. kind of thing using the cover of. Darkness but by the point by the time we. got to um you know uh reaching the uh. our our infill points or the you know. the actions on piece. it was already you know morning Twilight. time and um I just remember I think I. was on the Northern the the northern.

element but on the same side of the. canal uh as Ryan and and his element and. the way we were broke down I'm sure you. mentioned it was like two of us and then. a squad of people that uh were barely. trained and then a couple really. competent Afghans that we had you know. that had saved Our Lives multiple times. up to this point and um I believe Ryan. was you know I know he was with the team. sergeant and um I had to medic with me. and I was probably 50 yards north of uh. of Ryan's position but I just know that.

um it was this this you know obviously. from my perspective was this this. explosion goes off and I just hear this. like I could hear a thud right and it. would end up being Ryan's body you know. um you know hit you know uh blasting up. and then you know hitting the ground it. was that that that quiet after the. explosion and um you know I think my. init my initial reaction was just to. take off running over there um but one.

of my partner Force guys that had saved. us up a ton of times up to that point. kind of stopped me um and said hey let. me Le let me let me lead out so it felt. like it took um an eternity for me to to. to cover that distance to. uh how long did it how long did it take. after the explosion that you realized it. was Ryan not not very long because I. could hear his voice like audibly like.

there was nothing over the radio but I. could hear him his screams um after that. thud and um I that's when I I went to go. take off and um you know nothing. crickets on the radio and I just I was. just took off you know and and uh with. was moving very slowly you know it what. felt like was extremely you know. painstakingly slow and and to get back. to him but when I rounded that corner um.

back towards his position the first. thing I encountered um was the team. Sergeant just sitting there on his knees. kind of messing around with something on. his kit and then he kind of tried to. grab my attention and hand me something. and and it was a it was a tourniquet. that was still in the plastic and I was. like I was like you're useless man like. what are you doing I mean say that but I. was thinking it as I'm continuing past. him to Ryan and but by when I got there. J our our 18 Fox had already gotten.

there to him and had Jorge not gotten. there um when he did like Ryan for sure. would have would have leted out because. I think Ryan was trying to you know. self- Aid you know apply a tourniquet. but he couldn't um to himself and um but. Jorge was able to get that tourniquet in. place and actually stop the Bing because. to that point he had lost you know. a ton of blood and um I just know that. uh you know the actions of of of a few. of us were able to to Really you know.

get him get him packaged up we stop the. bleed and then get him packaged up and. get him get him to that next higher. level of care but um there was a massive. breakdown um in a in a few things you. know and. when even even the fact that like we. knew when we cross that River we were. going to end up staying over there so we. were limited on how many resources we. could bring over with us but we didn't. even have a we didn't have a litter uh. at least in that near my element or. Ryan's element and so we didn't even.

have a pol litter so like I went and. grabbed a WBY or found a WBY Pono honor. and uh we got got him bled his uh we put. try to basically put everything back in. alignment as we could with his injury. and then and then sped it with his the. butt St of his AR and and then put him. on that WBY and kind of grab some. corners and you know at that point I'm. trying to tell the team Sergeant to to. bring the hilos in and just pointing in. a general direction of a clearing um but. I also believe that we were taking some.

effective fire at least the the other. element was taking fire down towards the. irrigation canal and the dust one or the. uh the. med the medac flight. um the uh the medac flight said that. they wouldn't come in and obviously. we're carrying Ryan at this point with. the with the poncher and it starts. ripping part um because Ryan's not a not. a little little fella and he's a thick. man he is I think that's where my neck.

injuries um started so you know because. uh what ended up happening after that. was like this the poner you know it's. not rated for that so and the the. terrain was awful it was just like like. just super Rocky and and rolling and and. uh so we got to like a small little. piece of cover like a little Ravine and. kind of set him back down I know that he. he. had apparently I think he chewed the um.

fital. lollipop um so it wasn't as effective as. it could be he's in agonizing pain the. whole time and and I just see um the. team Sergeant just not making any. decisions after you know we're like the. Hilo says they won't they can't come in. and um you know then the poncho liner. rips and I'm just I'm beyond frustrated. and at at that point I was just like hey. Lance make a decision and then pause.

nothing nothing and I'm like it this is. what we're doing and um Ryan actually. reminded me about me saying that because. he kind of came back too I guess um. because remember when we talked about. this last year Ryan we reconnected and. it was really cool to have that. conversation because I just through time. you know forgotten certain aspects of of. of my life yeah um but but it was really. cool to see her to have that. conversation with you and and me to to. give you some some of my perspective too.

but you know ultimately I'm like it this. is what we're doing and. and thre him on my shoulders and and uh. I think he was complaining about his his. uh his nuts the whole time hurting or. something yeah what was what was your. plan Kyle when you said [ __ ] it I'm. taking control what came after that. because we were we were taking fire the. other element was taking fire and we. needed to we needed to make a decision. on where that the Hilo was going to come.

in because we were separate right we. were we were separate by terrain we I. felt comfortable with the fact that we. had um the buildings kind of masking you. know that the engagement from reaching. us that we we could bring that heal in. you know another 400 yards and but what. what the conversation that was happening. back and forth is is he wouldn't he. wouldn't convey that to to the Medevac. so um in the captain which was a. phenomenal which I'd love to have him. like chat with you as well um Sean.

because his story is incredible as well. and and uh Ben Captain Ben hero I think. I talked to him about him in in my. interview um and but he was over there. with the other element and you know it. was basically just like let's get this. Hilo in right here we can't move him we. don't have the but need to be able to. cover the distance from what they're. proposing as the as a as a landing zone. so ultimately it was just like okay like.

it just bring them in like right there. wherever they feel comfortable in we got. to keep moving to them then since it's. another at that point it was probably. another 800 or thousand yards um to get. to the Hilo and um yeah so I just. remember like carrying him as far as I. could and and trying to hand him off. occasionally and ultimately I started. carrying him and I ended carrying him um. to the actual Hilo I just remember. setting him on the Hilo through the.

brown out and uh just seeing he just. kind of looked like death man and uh I. was just uh you. know I was like uh I don't know if I'm. gonna see him again damn and uh and then. you know and then he he takes off and um. um uh and it was just it was like Eerie. because I think Cass had rolled in and. the closer sport had taken out some of. the fighting positions so like it was. just eerily quiet once the Hilo you know.

was out of audible range and and I just. remember going back and just feeling. like what the we just do like um like I. was just because I had protested going. like going based on the intelligence. regardless of how you know we knew that. area was was they fortified but that. report that we had gotten like I just. felt like we could have given it a. little bit more time man and then the. fact that I thought we we we lost we.

were potentially losing Ryan completely. um not just to the mission but to to. life you know and um I just felt like we. owed him as the I wasn't that senior but. I mean i' had been on the team for a. couple years at that point and I feel. like we failed and um and all the stuff. that the team Stant and that wasn't his. first like discrepancy right their. negligence I mean the gross negligence. and uh like who who has their. tourniquets with them in in the Plastic. Man yeah like like that's not.

preparation that's not being prepared. that's not anything we teach and uh just. because you're a team Sergeant doesn't. mean you don't need to like you need to. be the one setting the standard and. that's what actually drove me to to to. continue to to push myself to to be. better as the best version you know. professionally as I could and um I just. know in the other part too is like we. had to we had to finish the mission it. was just like there was this this. somberness piece and I think we ended up. clearing like 27 IEDs uh in that Village.

like booby traps um over time but like. yeah man and you know the uh and and the. other part too that was kind of like. didn't sit well with me is like I know. we were isolated out there because this. was a part of the village stability. operations initiative thing that the. green beray were trying to you know. reinvigorate or you know use the stck or. Socom and um it I get part of that but.

the you know we were isolated as far as. communication you know limited to to. certain means but um I I feel like we. didn't find out like how he was doing if. he was even alive for for way too long. how long and I I I to me like if if I I. feel like maybe we got a little bit of a. report that he was in Germany and then. on his way to to the States but then. over a week week after that it felt like. a week over a week. [ __ ] um and you know it was there was.

just so many things that you know I I. had I had a a very serious discussion. I've had I had other discussions before. about other negligence or discrepancies. with that team Sergeant um not just me. the team as a whole that we were. successful based on the guys on team and. and it wasn't and our captains were. always really great um but the uh you. know some of the break breakdowns and.

and some of the decision making is. really what forced me not forced me but. like validated because I didn't want to. leave my team especially after that trip. as well but um you know to go to the. unit that I that I went to but you know. to be able to reconnect with with Ryan. has been phenomenal and to see to see. what he's done with it in the story and. like the book you know the book he wrote. and and and um he's just he's helping so. many people with what he's doing and and. still doing he's over there Dem mining.

like he's he's it's mind-blowing that. the self-less service that that man. um you know continues to do you know and. uh but that's just the caliber person. that's sitting across from me Sean we're. figuring that out as time goes on man. thank you for thank you for putting him. on my radar. seriously yeah do you um do you guys. have anything you want to say to each. other before we we move on yeah bro like. I like I was telling uh Sean um you know.

I wouldn't be sitting here today if it. wasn't for you and I know I know you. don't really like to hear that but it's. it's the truth and so yeah um all the. way back in 2010 you know I'm always you. know we're family um you're my brother. but yeah me sitting here on the show. today started back September 12. 2010 man I. Ryan you know I love you brother and um.

I'm always going to be here for you and. you're you're in in order for you to to. tell the story that that I know that. it's going to help so many people um you. couldn't be in better hands than with. than you are with Sean and the fact that. this is this is happening to me is is. I'm beyond um excited to watch this um. interview and and uh you know I'm always. going to I just just know that like. Sean's a forever friend you know as. you're as you're in that hot seat you.

know sharing you know the the the best. and the ugliest parts of you um it's a. part of a bigger a bigger mission that. Sean's creating and and executing so. it's an honor man and I love you love. both of you and thank you for for. bringing me into this this special uh. interview yeah brother. it's my honor man I love you too brother. and uh you're one of my favorite. humans seriously I'm very proud to know.

you man but hey Kyle best of luck to you. I'll talk to you I'll talk to you soon. I'll call you after the interview all. right brother take care you too all. right all right brother. [Music]. byebye yeah like I said um people throw. around you know the word hero a lot and. and um I'm no hero but I've served with. him and you just got off the phone with. one yeah you know you ever heard about. um you.

know just people that have worked you. know I'm just a normal guy working. amongst Heroes. that's that's that's a hero so you. know I don't think anybody that's sat in. that chair has ever considered. themselves a hero man yeah so. it's always for somebody else to uh make. that. decision yeah that's that's a good point. you. know yeah heavy phone call bro you want.

to take a break no no good to go all. right let's press on yeah so yeah we uh. I'm on the bird now and I remember. lifting off and um you know looking down. at the team and I I I could see you know. as the guys were getting smaller and. smaller um you know that that that was. probably it for me I I would never you. know I would never be the same again um.

I didn't know how bad off I was um I. didn't know how much blood I had lost. but I knew that you know Ryan. Hendrickson as I knew it that day would. all would be. different um so we fly into a Taran. cout and. um. the the team that is going to meet. me apparently they were expecting a body.

um are you serious yeah my a couple of. my buddies were at TK and heard about. the metac and they weren't sure if they. were getting a body or or um or Ryan you. know wounded Ryan or what it was. um so the I showed up and you know I'm. I'm I'm alive and there's some there's. some pissed dudes it's like you're. alive what the you know and so that. range of emotion and everything like.

that but um they're getting me towards. the uh so it got to them that you that. you were dead that's that's what they. were telling me. yeah how many other people did they tell. that you were dead um had any family. members been contacted so there's mixed. on that I had asked my dad about it and. he had told me that he was given the. wrong information at first but he's glad. they cleared it. up not sure what information that was.

and he won't share it I'm sure we could. all read read between the lines here. yeah um but my buddy Nick and Jeremy. they um whether it had come through the. grape vine um I I can't see anyone given. an official report like I doubt the. helicopter um would have gave a report. of you know one one cat or one Kia. coming in so I'm not really sure but. over the years talking to him they were.

like yeah we we thought we were we were. getting your body it's like oh okay I. didn't realize things were at that point. but um so I remember I remember getting. you know they're rushing in the. helicopter everyone's running I'm like. what is going on here there is a lot of. frantic people um and not out of control. just very controlled but they're not. they're not wasting time and they're. starting to cut clothes and I had on my.

lucky organ Ducks t-shirt you know huge. organ Ducks man and I remember this lady. went to it with uh with the trauma. scissors and I was like no this is my. lucky shirt I will take this off myself. and you know I'm trying to fight her you. know just what I remember yeah it's Pro. I I probably was you know way more out. of it but my in my head I was putting up. a really good fight and then and then.

she she had said something along the. lines have you seen your leg like how. lucky is this shirt sir let me do my job. it's like yeah I'll get another lucky. organ Ducks t-shirt another time so um. and then it was lights out and so I. don't remember much past that except for. when I came to the first time that I. woke up after surgery number one. or however many I don't.

know um so when I when I came to there. was a couple guys that were in my room. um one of my my buddies Dino and then. Calvin um and again I was a new guy on. the team so um you know these were more. senior dudes they've been around for a. while. and um but they're you know they're in. my room and um and it's like hey man you. know glad glad you made it glad you're. live um here's a note from the the 18.

Delta that rode rode with me from you. know when I got hit um to TK and the. note said if you're reading this note. you're live holy [ __ ] yeah so I didn't. know why he wrote that note it didn't it. didn't make sense to me what it feel. like reading that. note. confused I was very confused. on on what happened like why am I.

reading the note if you're reading this. you're alive you made it like of course. I'm alive why wouldn't I be okay and. then it took years later talking to Kyle. that I probably shouldn't be. alive um so I'm reading that note and I. still have it today I have it you know. um in and uh with my purple heart but um. and then yeah but I'm reading that note. and I'm trying to dissect. everything and I remember I started.

crying and you know like Team guys would. you know uh my teammates like stop. crying stop crying man there's going to. be plenty of time to cry stop [ __ ]. crying you need to get control over this. stop crying and so you know I you know I. was trying to you know okay yeah yeah. yeah let's let's you know stop you know. I still can't figure out what happened I. looked down I'm like what is that what. what is that down there what happened. and so Calvin um he was on another team.

but he was one of the more senior 18. Deltas um in the company and he was on. another team and you know um he heard. that I got hit and so he wanted to check. on you know guys in the company and um. and he was you know he was talking to me. a little bit but I remember Calvin told. me he said hey man um we're heading out. to that area too and we're going to get.

these that did this. too and so you know I was trying. to I was trying to say you know. something you know I'm I'm the new guy. what am I really going to say like hey. man be be safe watch your back you know. whatever it was just trying to have. something to contribute to you know that. powerful message he just relayed to me. we're going to get these that did this. to you and.

um yeah Calvin died that. mission along with Mark um combat. controller. yeah. yeah. so they killed a lot of guys. too yeah but that was Calvin Calvin's.

last. mission that haunt you. yeah. yep yeah so do you think they would have. gone out any other. way I don't. know yeah I don't. don't it's hard to tell because that. starts. to that starts to get into the line of.

self- victimization well if I would have. just done this maybe he would be live. today or if I could have done this. different or this maybe he would still. still be. here that's you know. there's you know our. lives our lives are like a. book the beginning chapter in the end. chapter has already been written that's. up to God when you're born and when you. die that's that's in God's. hands what's in the middle is up to. you how are you're going to fill in.

those pages of your book that's up to. you but the beginning chapter and the. end chapter has already been written. someone could say well what happens if. you kill yourself that was the end. chapter it was already written that's. that's that's in God's hands not. yours and the more that I've tried to. handle and control death over over the. years I mean it started off with Jason. Holbrook um he died early on on my first.

deployment and we had gone through the Q. course together and you know as I tried. to understand death and as I tried. to reason with why in the end it's it's. not up to you the begin and the end. chapters of your life is it's not up to. you and. it's it's hard but. refreshing when you know you don't have.

control it's in God's. hands at least for me it is so. I obviously you know I do get a little. you know I get I get choked up with. Calvin I'm a human. being um. but there were times when I used you. know his death as a way to make my or to.

to create even more of a. victim to to why you know um here's a. husband with kids and everything like. that like it's not fair and to victimize. and try and understand death you can't. understand death. that's it's not up to. you so um we talked about this quite a. bit this morning mhm I'd like. to what you're talking about is.

survivors guilt and a lot of people hear. about it and not a lot of people. understand it yeah and so if you're. willing I'd like to I'd like to explore. this for a little bit Yeah mhm so what. kind of feelings were you feeling after. he died. when I heard that Calvin. died I I felt.

like number one when I heard he died I. was I was on every narcotic known to man. for my leg and you know all the. procedures I was going through but I I. automatically took it as it was my. fault. how there's no way it was my fault you. know that's just that's that's the. that's the. uncomfortable thought process that goes. through survivor's guilt. when and so when Calvin died especially.

when Calvin died because of the. conversation we had before he. left. um I. felt that me getting. injured was the reason why he was. killed and me getting injured inured put. my team at risk and me getting injured. put my friends at. risk and me getting injured was the. reason why people weren't going to go.

home to their. families is that the case it's not but. that's what that's what if you allow it. that's what survivor guilt can do to you. is you can take on that whole burden of. something that you have no control over. it's not up to you but you can take on. that whole burden and make it your own. that's now every single person that got. hurt or died is your cross to bear until.

you can't bear it anymore then what do. you do is it alcohol is it drugs is it. suicide then what do you do because it's. impossible to bear that. guilt and it's in the word survivors. guilt and it's impossible you can't live. with survivor's. guilt something's going to break and it. usually breaks in the form of suicide as. we've all.

seen it. does but Survivor guill is. dangerous and it's a victimized mindset. because there's something that you could. have done that would have prevented. that and lots of veterans have survivors. guilt. thousands and it's it's a. prison and it's a prison that you. can't it's it's it's dark it's lonely.

people but the thing is is people try to. rush in and help you and you push them. away to stay in that dark and lonely. Place yeah it's uh it's bad news man how. are you handling that. now so survivor's guilt for. me. and how I handle it now is by talking. about it how I handle it now is maybe my.

message is going to reach one person one. person is going to hear what I have to. say and maybe think twice. about their path there on or the. decisions that maybe they're getting. ready to make because of the survivors. guilt. um because of the. stress of carrying that. burden and so with me because I do.

believe that the beginning and the end. chapter of your life has been written. you can't control that it's not up to. you it's in God's. hands I my survivor's. guilt I deal with it through my faith in. my. belief. that what I just said the beginning and. the end isn't up to you it's God's plan. regardless of how unfair it.

seems that's God's. decision and that that helps that that. calms me down that soothes me that is. you know what I need to be able to take. a lot of the emotion out of it even. though it is it's very emotional for me. to talk about but again I'm a human. being but I can take a lot of that. emotion out of it and I can see how I. can use this message to help. somebody to give somebody that that that.

light in the. darkness you know take some of that. burden you don't got to carry it alone. there's tons of us out. here thousands of us out. here but we're not going to find you you. got to reach out if no one knows you're. struggling. no one's going to know you're struggling. very true yep so. that's that's how I've my faith in using.

my experiences to help other. people that would. be can I ask you a question. mhm you. spent 22 years in the military correct. mhm did eight. deployments you've been around the soft. Community for how many years now 13 13. years in service to include outside of. service oh no um outside of service.

would. be 16 17 16 years so you know the. community very well. mhm at that specific moment in time that. operation where they went in to clear. out that Valley. do you. think there is any other. place that those men would have wanted. to be at at that specific Moment In Time.

rather than clearing that Valley out no. no other place me neither then next to. their. brothers yeah you're not fighting. for a government you're not fighting for. a president you're not fighting for. political or religious beliefs you're. fighting for your. brothers left and right yeah that's.

it. simple and I saw that day a man that was. going to give his life up so I had. mine that's heroism that's. Kyle. yes it is. y yeah let's take a quick break when we. come back we'll get into the recovery. yeah that's going to be a fun one all.

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the recovery went on your. leg Yeah the recovery. process I tell you you learn a lot about. yourself um during the recovery so. basically going back kind of to the. beginning so I had uh you know I had. made my way to uh to Long scho finally I. think I think it took him about 5 days. to get me out of country 4 days um. because of blood transfusions and stuff.

um got the long Shool and then my follow. on was going to be Brooks Army Medical. Center um I found out my buddy uh. Captain will Lyles um he had both of his. legs blown off um he was at Brooks Army. Medical Center and and so I wanted to be. you know with friends and my dad D and. sisters all lived in New Mexico so it. was easy easier for them than Walter. Reed um so you know I'm on my way uh. Brooks Army Medical Center and um get.

there get you know the we land over at. Lackland Air Force Base ambulance ride. to uh bamy um and then um I get admitted. and you know they start know another. debrit. surgery um you know let's let's figure. out what's going going on here okay got. a good picture um I don't really know. the time. frame but maybe days later I you know I. meet with my doctor um here's your. Orthopedic uh surgeon uh Dr Shu and um.

then I meet with the staff and. everything like that and they're telling. me with my. leg so you know we have we have good. news um your your limb that you have. right now now it's um there's a lot of. healthy tissue um so. basically we've got we've got a few. options for you um we're going to get. back to and then we'll kind of we'll.

kind of talk about it but there's a lot. of people very interested in your injury. okay fair enough why but sure all right. get back to me so at this point in time. um they are really focusing on this. thing called limb Salvage um instead of. hacking limbs off left and right maybe. we can try and and save these limbs. because the advancements in these. different devices um that work like a.

prosthetic limb but um you don't need to. have an amputation so with my injury um. the blast had gone up through my foot so. it blew my foot in half and then it. exited out at my calf but it was pretty. clean cut um and so what my doctor was. telling me is the reason why they. amputate a lot of Limbs is for tissue. damage not necessarily bone he was. saying I can fix any bone it's tissue is. what usually causes the um the.

amputation or the need for amputation or. bone. infection so you know I had um had. multiple visitors that had came by um. and you know they're talking about my. leg and and so now now's uh here's the. big meeting so. my doctor Dr Shu comes in he said hey so. we uh we kind of want to do a. u uh experimental exploratory surgery on. you um lymph Salvage it would basically.

be reattaching your leg um it's it's not. a good chance it'll work uh but the. research that goes into it is going to. help a lot of people and if it does work. then that's going to advance limb. Salvage. um research technology and everything. for the guys that are inevitably going. to be going through injuries like you. know like you had um your your leg is.

one of you know is is a leg that. definitely should be. amputated but we think there's a chance. that we can save it it's like well. what's the chance 10 to 15% it's like. okay well I'm I'm not going anywhere and. Dr Shu um great friend of mine to this. day love the dude to death but he was he. said once we completely remove that limb. that's it so we can do that and you'll. be back up on your feet again probably a.

lot less pain than you're going to go. through if we do this other um procedure. and you'll probably be back to your unit. a lot quicker than if we do this other. procedure but this other procedure can. help a lot of people with what we're. going to learn from your. limb okay let's do it I mean once the. legs gone what's the worst that can. happen we just we we finish removing it. the rest of the way anyways.

okay hold on uhuh where is so this is. how many days after. blast this is in the 20s September early. October so we're a month we're a month. away mhm roughly mhm where is the bottom. half of your your leg it's being held on. with rods and everything else yeah what. do you. like was just hanging there by a thread. right yeah when I got hit when Kyle got.

to me um my leg was only hanging there. by the by the skin like you could have. cut through the skin and then grabbed. Ryan Hendrickson and the leg and walked. out so the blood is flowing back through. your mhm I have different compartments. in there but. what what ended up happening and I don't. know the full story behind it um Dr Shu. would be what he would be able to fill. it all in.

but Bas basically to keep my limb and. everything contained with all the wound. vacs and everything like that just to. get me back to the States and then they. can do the surgeries from there the. amputation and then move from there um I. had so much d damage that they couldn't. actually do a skin flap for the full. amputation without moving above the knee. and so now it's like okay let's we. either need to heal skin up before doing.

the amputation or limb. Salvage and again this is the best of my. knowledge I I I'm probably I'm probably. off on you know a quite or quite a bit. of the finer details but the damage to. the leg there wasn't actually enough. healthy skin to Do The Flap without. moving up higher don't need to have an. above the knee amputation so let's pump. the brakes real quick and see what we.

can what we can do here which turned. into the limb Salvage process so when I. I signed I signed that I would do you. know this. surgery and um so you know I I I don't. remember what surgery it was I had 27. surgeries on my right leg but one of the. surgeries I came out and I had this. entire bird. cage wrapped around my right leg with.

rods going through all five of my. toes rods going through the backs of my. heels and rods drilled into every single. one of my. bones and it's it's called an. xfix but it it looked like it looked. like some off a Saw movie like a torture. device she like what is this and it's. huge um but it was aligning all my bones. up again so basically what the name of.

the game was after that and when I. actually. was ready for rehab or I'm sorry. Physical Therapy was they lined up The. Tib because they said ah you don't you. don't really use your FIB we don't need. to worry about lining them both up the. FIB can just flip there but they lined. up the tibula and now you're looking at. you know an inch maybe 2 in gap of bone. that you have to grow. back and to close in all the wounds now.

you have skin graphs so my whole right. leg in the bottom of my foot is skin. graphs from my. thighs so now you got infection you have. skin graphs taking you have bone growing. growing back 2. in and a bunch of other you know um. obstacles you have to get through to get. to the point to where something happens.

with your leg but we don't know because. we haven't had a limb that bad be. salvaged before so we're going to. learn and. um through you know when I was released. for physical. therapy I mean I went I went at it hard. from running the trash well not running. gimping my way to the trash cans puking. everywhere falling down rods you know a. rod that's going into the bone getting. smacked off of something and sending the.

oh man it was how hold on how long was. the how long did it take you just to be. able to walk. again okay yeah that's a good point let. me back up son I just I just out I just. outran my headlights big time so take a. pause right there and then so as I'm as. I'm in the. hospital um I was there's there's a. couple situations that happened um the.

fir the the first one was I was very I. was not a very patient. um patient I guess you could say I. wanted results right then and there and. I wanted and I wanted to know what my. future was and during this time time. from when I actually made it to Brooks. Army Medical. Center to when I actually started. physical therapy I went through a very. very.

emotional and Mental Health crisis with. myself. from you know survivors guilt like we. talked to who am I now to now I have to. actually face I have time to lay here. and think about the mess that I've made. of my life so um a little bit ago we had. talked about you know my divorce that. led me to Special. Forces and and the trail of Destruction.

I had led throughout my life always. being the victim always it's not my. fault because of this this or this and. then in. SF um I was able to push all that deep. down inside because the mission and. we're training and you know everything I. never had to face it again until I'm. laying in bed in Brooks Army Medical.

Center and nothing but time to think and. so now now I'm I'm I'm actually I'm. going through a very very. difficult struggle mentally from from. you know what is who am I what is my. purpose you know to to that should have. been me all the way down you know things. like that pointless pointless things to. think about but that's where my mind was.

at and I was struggling and I wanted to. give up I just wanted to give up but um. my dad he was my. caretaker and I remember there was a. point in a lot of. my self-load. that he finally said all right i' I've. had enough we need to have a. talk and the talk went kind of something. like this he said what happened to you.

was bad no one's going to argue that. it's bad he said it's not the worst. injury in the world and it won't be the. last injury in the world he said I got. it but you have a choice to make right. now and we got to have this talk because. you're heading in a direction that I. don't think you're going to be able to. pull yourself out of he said you have a. choice to make right now he said you can. continue to let yourself be the victim.

you can continue to let this injury own. you change you make you this injury you. will always be victimized by this injury. you will never leave September 12th 2010. you will always be there for the rest of. your life and let me tell you what's. going to Happ happen first of all you're. going to try and make people understand. what you went. through and when they can't you're going. to get angry and you're going to push. people away from you and people are. going to try and rush in because they.

love you and then you're going to get. more and more angry and secluded and. push everyone away from you until. there's no one left to push away from. you then you're going to be further. victimized because no one's there to. help. you and that's when people make really. bad decisions is when nobody when they. feel that no one cares and no one's. there to help so what's the point and he. said I don't think I don't think you'll. make it back from.

that or you can use this injury to make. yourself a better man you can use this. injury to make yourself stronger better. renew your relationship with God. remember all that stuff that you told me. about laying next to the Helman River. how you wish you didn't do this and that. and this you got the reset button you. have something that most men will never. get in life a chance to start over you. died you're back you can start over. again you got the reset button you've.

been handed an opportunity although. you're in such pain right now and. darkness you can't see it you've been. handed one of the greatest opportunities. ever a chance to. redo and you can make yourself bigger. better stronger not only for you but to. help other people use this injury to. make yourself a better man to help other. people and he said you're going to. you're you're going to you're going to. feel fulfillment like you've never seen. before in your life but he said the.

choice is up to. you and if you continue down the path. you're on right now you will kill. yourself. son yeah so that was one of the. talks that. you know I had had with my dad that. really started to well okay how how how. do I make myself stronger from this and. then doors started opening up once I.

started to look at this as an. opportunity to help other people an. opportunity to well yeah maybe if this. does work for me maybe it will help. somebody else that I'll never even meet. again or before um maybe this will do. something that you know I have no idea. but if I don't try I'll never know and. if I never know it's because I didn't. try and that's your. fault and so I started to really. aggressively you know try.

to again it wasn't that conversation. people need to understand it wasn't that. conversation and I'm a new man it's not. a movie I'm always falling flat on my. face to this day I fall flat on my face. and and I'm picking myself up just to. get hit again that's that's life so it's. not like this was the Revelation and. then the Sun was shining and the Seas. were calm and and life was great then. and there you know no it's then life got.

hard because now instead of taking the. easy way it's easy to be a victim that's. why we have so many of them in our. country yeah the victim role is easy the. entitled victim role it's simple why do. I know it because I was that was me. whether it was the sexual abuse whether. it was um I can't do this because of. this or getting blown up or all this I. made myself the entitled victim I did I. was really good at it but Manning.

up changing from a boy to a man that's. hard that's extremely hard. work and and so that's when the hard. work began is now I wanted to you know. how can I use this to help me how can I. take the old man's advice and like what. do I do how do I do it and then because. I was. trying things started opening up for me. and next thing you know I'm in I'm in. I'm doing um Physical Therapy you know.

I've been approved for physical. therapy and and bone is growing and the. skin graphs are taken first. time and things are happening for me. that I'm just like keep pushing keep. pushing keep. pushing and you know in the back of my. mind you know people said well what gave. you the drive was it just to help other. people no there's two other things too. number one my sergeant major came in and.

said I'll send you back to war if you. can get. fit and number two Taliban were laughing. at me on the. radio and they bloodied me up but they. didn't beat me so those were the two big. Drive um the driving. forces. behind you know the motivation for me to. get. better and I was told by.

everyone except for Doctor Shu and my. physical therapist Johnny everyone told. me management expectation you are. done your military career is over you. will be medically. retired and this is this is it you need. to understand that because you're. setting yourself up for failure you are. done start to figure out what you're. going to do now after you recover from. this and move on from the.

military yeah except for two people Dr. Shu and Johnny so yeah man you want to. go back let's make it. happen yeah. so now I do understand the management. expectation part though I really do um. you can you can set yourself up for. failure quickly when you. believe so deeply into something that's. just not going to happen you know it's.

um the power of thought mhm as well I. don't I don't know if you look into any. of that stuff but the power of. thought is extremely powerful and. they're proving it with science as well. and um that's what you've got You've Got. The Power of a thought and and everybody. has the power of everybody has it mhm. it's just most people won't access it.

yeah you know they will take the victim. Road and and I mean little unrelated I. don't want to lose place in the story. but I just want to bring something up. with the power of thought I've been I've. been watching this guy his name is Greg. Braden on YouTube. and he is a I don't know what you would. call him maybe a quantum physics guy but. he talks about this study that they. did with. photons have you do you know anything.

about this mm so they put all these. photons in a vacuum mhm and they wanted. to see what the photons do mhm when when. people are watching. them and so they put these photons in a. vacuum. and they they record what they're doing. however you record. photons they record what they're doing. when nobody's in the room yeah and they. act a certain way then they put somebody. in the room watching the photons and.

they react completely different. mhm. then they try to trick the photons and. they have human watch the photons. through a. camera and they have somebody watch the. photons and they have the camera. recorded without anybody watching and. they still react completely different so. that just shows you that human. consciousness and thought just being. around yeah things it.

changes what is yeah and that's proof. that that's proof of how powerful. thought and Consciousness actually is. yeah and so to actually apply it to your. own leg without even knowing that that's. what I was actually doing yeah man it's. a real it is a real people think that. this stuff is [ __ ] and and Science. and Technology is getting so good now. that it's proving how powerful thought.

prayer Consciousness whatever you want. to call it how powerful it actually is. belief belief belief is one of the most. powerful things in the world if you give. somebody. hope yeah it's it's extremely powerful. yeah hope is very powerful and. contagious.

yeah yeah. that's it is it is crazy going from the. percentage chance that I was getting. to now bones are growing skin graphs are. healing first time um and you know I'm. I'm going from the hospital bed to where. yeah I used to sneak out in my. wheelchair all the time just cuz I got.

bored and nurses nurses just hated it. and um I remember another instance you. know I was like I want to walk dad he's. like ah you kind of just had your leg. reattached maybe not a good idea it's. like well I'm walking he goes well we're. in a hospital so guess if you get hurt. we're here already so not a big deal. it's like okay and I I got up and it had. been months since you know what two. months since I'd been you know on my. legs or leg and then kind of dragging. this guy around. and oh man I got up man I feel good.

dorphin and I'm like I'm going to make. it to that window right over there you. know moving over there with milwauker. and the window's getting smaller smaller. smaller boom hit the ground passed out. and nurses like mad like what do you. guys do I can't we're going to have to. handcuff you to the you know just all. kinds of stuff just like dad's like well. boy wanted to watch Mr Hendrickson he. just had it's like I know but he's.

stubborn he's like ah kind of thing but. now um I. remember when I was. starting you know starting physical. therapy and the physical therapist I had. his name is Johnny Owens. and the dude is a Legend um you know so. I had this legendary orthopedic surgeon. I had this legendary physical therapist. and then there's a prosis guy named Ryan.

blanck and he's a legendary prosis guy. so all these guys you know again going. back to that when you take can you know. people will say well how do you know. God's. real because look at he took you know. once I decided to start to take control. over my life slowly but start to take. control over my life and start to use. you know these experiences and these. situations to to better myself to help.

other people things started to line up. for me it's and you know it took me. years to look back on it it's like how. is that. possible because it's in God's hands and. so I'm you know I'm I'm getting you know. my bones are growing back quickly my. skin graph is you know it's they're like. wow there is zero complications with. your skin graphs this is unheard of and. next thing I know I'm getting this. entire bird cage removed off my leg I.

was supposed to have it on for 2 years. and I'm getting it removed off my leg I. think it was 8 months wow yeah I had. grown Back 2 in of bone. tibula um then connected the upper part. of my leg with the lower part of my leg. or I'm sorry upper part lower part of my. leg and you know my foot it had. naturally fused together so the bones. and everything is just grown back.

together just naturally mhm it's amazing. yeah what how they say you grow bone is. through resistance and friction you have. to pound the crap out of yourself and so. with me the constant drills and the. weightlifting and and the pain that I. went through you know those those you. know the ladder drills that um Johnny. would have me doing and stuff like that. Ryan keep pushing Ryan straighten your. back out Ryan one more one more one more. Ryan keep going keep going keep going.

you know and just throwing up and like. all right you good you got it out all. right let's go again you know I grew. bone. back crazy I mean just fast you know. Wolverine. fast and you you know my foot and. everything like that and it's like oh. the okay we're we have something here. now I'm getting the Ideo device which. gives me you know basically a blade a. running blade and um now I'm looking at.

oh wow um okay I've I've been medically. retired I fought to stay on active duty. through the continue on active duty. waiver so a coad waiver which um they. were given the special operations guys. because of the amount of money they. spend on you for training so you know I. was medically retired um I came back. onto active duty through the waiver and. you know it's you know I had a dead. man's profile I can't stand longer in 30.

minutes um no carrying anything over you. know 30 lbs the list goes on tennis. shoes and all those other stuff I was. like I am not wearing uniform and Tennis. Shoes. uhuh but um so you know I'm back on. active duty again I'm still rehabbing. things are going great um final checkup. and it's. like you're good man we can send you. back to the physical therapist at your.

unit the Thor. program um you're good here it's like. what wow I was basically fighting for my. life. September of. 2010 and now no remember. 2011 I'm going back to seventh group. holy [ __ ] like yeah you'll I still have. to clear the re return or the um the. return to war program they have there or. the return to fit to fight or you know.

the thor3 program so amazing program by. the way hands down amazing one of the. greatest things that special operations. has done for their guys the thor3. program but I still have to clear all. those hurdles and be fit to go go back. to a team but I'm I'm packing up. vehicles and I'm driving from San. Antonio. Texas back to Crestview. Florida. after I mean I don't like the word I.

don't like to use the term I should have. been dead because you're not dead so. then you shouldn't have been dead. because you're not you're here I should. have been is a way of kind of. victimizing yourself to something but. after a very catastrophic injury. um that could have killed me now I'm D. I'm on I 10 heading back to. crestw and I'm going to be checking into. my unit and checking into thor3. program and seeing what happens from.

there. and I was just it was it was the power. of Hope belief having people backing you. up that tribe. mentality you know I mean we all. especially special operators we we we we. Thrive off of the tribe mentality we do. um and and having hope and and taking. back my life and and refusing to become.

a. victim of my. circumstances refusing to to let that. victimization take my life over it. almost did very. close but now I'm starting to take my. life back and now it's all sunshines and. rainbows except for life has something. to say about. that. so I'm heading back life is great check.

in to uh thor3 finish up a grueling. grueling two Monon long process with. them very hard and now I'm cleared to go. back to an Oda wow when I was told my. profile says I'm non-. Deployable I have a dead man's profile. and all this other stuff but seventh. group was able to take to. override that um the warrior transition.

um their W or their uh profiles on me. seventh group could basically take the. responsibility say no no he's he's good. in our eyes so I had worked kind of. I kind of worked some not not backdoor. deals but I came in at the right. possible time my company had already. left for. Afghanistan and um the same company I. was with when I got blown up and no one.

really knows me back at seventh group. there's Skeleton Crew you know rear rear. D's back there but no one really knows. me and so because I was new before then. yeah and there was a lot of guys getting. injured injured and killed in 2010 so. okay who are you so I never really. brought up the injury I just hey I got. hurt um I was cleared through the Thor 3. here you go here's this all right the. group surgeon signs off on it I'm.

Deployable I'm heading back to. Afghanistan s major said if I could get. cleared he'd send me back to war so I. I'm just going to help him out and head. back. before. so so I uh. you know so my my date for um return to. Afghanistan is March and you know fly. back in and show up and I'm expecting. you know tick or tape parade and. everyone 20 you know everyone's lined up.

to you know wow you you you did it. you're you're the greatest thing ever no. I got there and I got the what the are. you doing here like what no I'm clear to. deploy. I'm sorry what and so the company. sergeant major was very upset that I had. returned but the Battalion siren major. who made this promise to me is like well. I did make a promise so they're trying.

to figure out well what do we do with. this guy that shouldn't even have a leg. right now like what what do we even do. with him so this is um this is March. 2012 and um. their you know their the regiment had. taken quite a few um. wounded and killed so far and they were. undermanned on odas all over.

Afghanistan and um s major said hey um I. told you I'd send you back to war I'm a. man of my word but I hope you're ready. for this because where I'm sending you. is probably one one of the worst places. in Afghanistan but they need you said. okay say you're going to pan District. kahar Province. 2012 right before the. massacre it's like okay sounds cool and.

he. goes yeah you know that old saying. careful what she wish for he's like be. careful Ryan it's a bad area and anybody. who's been to Afghanistan knows about. pangu it's a bad area so so um yeah that. was my. uh that was my return trip from. um from you know everything I'd went. through up to that point whether it was. all the. surgeries the um Rehabilitation the.

physical therapy now I'm in pangu. District Kandahar Province before uh. Bales committed that mass that Massacre. killing all those civilians holy [ __ ]. yeah so there's no easy an into this. yeah and then probably two weeks later. he did that villager said turn him over. to us said no said. okay good. luck and I I there was so many so many.

kids lost their legs that year in. pangu infantry guys that were with us. they were taking casualties. daily daily the Oda up from us and Bell. uh bellai they were taking CES yeah we. got tore up in panju it's nasty place. but that was you know I had made it back. what was your mission there um I was. still in 18 Charlie so I was doing route.

not route clearance is a bigger package. I was doing clearance for you know um. for the assaulters or or. whoever um so it was back to having a. metal detector with my Afghans and then. we're clearing up up in front of. everybody as we're moving towards. whatever objective we're going to so. it's back to IEDs again damn man that. first one I found I thought I was going. to pass out on it I was uncovering it.

it's like y there's the Yellow Tape you. know the yellow tape over the pressure. plates trace the wire around it's like. there's the wire getting a little woozy. here and then uh the Afghan that was. with me said Ryan we just blow it it's. okay said all right we'll just blow it. up man but um by that trip I yeah I. removed a lot of IEDs that trip pway was. nasty nasty place but I'd made it.

back and um I keep going back to this as. we're talking you know well I made it. back now now it's sunshine and rainbows. or life is great you just did it and. then life life does what it does you. know just beat you down again and again. because even though and I'll you know as. we've as we continue on you'll start to. see kind of where my life has come from.

there but even. though. um I I'd made IID made the choice I. didn't want to be a victim I made the. choice that I wanted to take control. over my life and. and do you know use my experiences to. make myself stronger to help other. people I didn't quite have as good of a. grasp on that as I do now but I knew. something bigger was working in my life. what exactly it was I don't know but.

there was something bigger there was a. purpose I just didn't know what it was. and um but I still had those old demons. the the things that were still haunting. me from either my childhood or or the. you know the the way that I had made. myself a victim for so many years and. then it's real easy you know just to say. God why is this happening oh it's. happening because I did went through. this and this happened to me and so it's.

easy to go down that victim role it's so. easy then you're trying to steer and. you're you know you're just going all. around the. path um but you know 2012 was a great. confidence boost for me as far as. getting back into it getting back you. know there was there was one Mission we. went on um that we had to we called it. Hilltop 2000 and it was 2,000 uh meters. in elevation gain in about a click so.

you're going pretty much straight up and. um you know not only did my leg hold out. but I was helping guys carry their gear. to the top you know so there was. situations like that that were were big. confidence boosters for me that a lot of. people that are listening may be like. yeah man so you got your [ __ ] straight. you're back on track but I was still not. actually dealing with my demons that I.

had I was just using you know one. Victory or one situation or burying. myself into whatever in order to avoid. actually having to deal with who Ryan. Hendrickson is. what is Ryan Hendrickson what is what. are you supposed to be. doing and so the you know the 2012 trip. finishes up um we do you know multiple. trips to South and Central. America and then there's a volunteer.

position that opened up with another. company that was going to Afghanistan. they said hey we need an 18 Charlie it's. like yeah I'd love to go back to. Afghanistan. 2016 and you know so we do the we do the. normal workup for it and everything like. that and um we deploy and our first. mission comes down we're supposed to do. a village clearance in bogin Province. it's like okay um so you know we get.

everything ready to go and this is weeks. you know packing up everything okay now. it's time load the birds get everything. all right now we're flying actually to. um where we're going to meet our partner. Force um and it was it was NDS and. Commandos so now okay now met up with. our partner Force they brought us up to. you know they called it op Burns it was. this um this Hilltop that overlooked the. valley and we're just sitting there.

watching this intense firefight in the. valley unfold between Afghans and the. Taliban and it's like wow that's a hot. bed there like yeah this um every time. we go down there we get just destroyed. um so what the plan was was the Oda was. going to infill. in under the cover of Darkness but in. Afghan Humvees and stuff like that and. so the Taliban would think oh this is. just normal Afghans again let's chew.

them up and then we'd bring in you know. all of our air power and just destroy. them great. plan um so go through everything now. it's kickoff okay we're heading out it's. you know it's I don't know 11 o'clock at. night um we're driving um nods so. driving down these roads till we get to. our Dismount so now we're dismounted. moving moving forward to the first. objective but before that first.

objective we have to clear through um. this Orchard and Orchards as you well. know are nasty mhm nasty areas so it's. myself and I have for Afghan National. mine reduction group guys with me and we. had trained together one of the guys his. name was Abe and I've known him for. multiple deployments he' saved countless. amount of American lives um and then Bez. mua is another guy that I've known for a. while and so I have these two guys on my.

team um plus jaed and Khan and we're. moving forward and it's like okay we've. got to the orchard um the the assaulters. they're going to set up security and. we're going to move into the Orchard and. start to clear the path to objective to. the first objective okay done this. hundreds of times all right let's go so. we start pushing into the Orchard and. all of a sudden I see this flash of.

light and hear this loud pop so everyone. hits the ground it's like what what was. that is it was it you know a sniper I. mean what's going on it's it's 1:00 in. the morning at the time so you know. myself and jaed jaed was in the front. and he's trying to pull this trip wire. off him and he had just hit a trip wire. IED that was a grape shot charge in the. wall that was right next to us and it. didn't go off the the um blasting cap um.

popped but it didn't initiate it didn't. um um initiate the explosives to then. send out the bolts nuts Nails rocks and. everything else that was coming our way. and so you know when we investigated a. little bit we found that there was a. chunk of mortar shrap metal that had. basically disarmed the grape shot charge. wow in the wall are you serious yeah and.

so you know okay get the blood pressure. down a little bit all right we're good. keep moving forward and um it probably. 15 more steps and I see there's we're at. a turn in the uh truck trail and I see. this object Dart from one end of the. compound to the. other and then Abe he goes Ryan Ryan. Ryan Ryan Ryan and then this PKM opened. up and we hit the ground and when the.

PKM opened up it felt like you could. reach out and grab the flame that was. coming out of the barrel it felt that. close and so we're pinned down in the. front we're returning fire the best that. we can um this guy. this guy keeps jumping out and um well. first of all I had my IR strobe on. because I was the lead um the the flot. so I had my IR strobe on and the over. Icom chatter the Taliban are talking.

about hey that's the. American um capture or kill the American. we have them cut off because they had us. in an L shape so the assaulters were cut. off from us in the orchard [ __ ] so they. can see me so I it's like oh [ __ ] they. got nods so you know I took off the IR. strobe and I I threw it as close to that. where that PKM was at in the in the mud. hut wall I threw it as close to that. that as I could get um and then I'm.

laying there and rounds are hit rounds. are hitting everywhere it feels like hot. bacon grease just all over your. skin and I keep you know sending a few. rounds down range you know I'm laying on. my side and then I roll back over on my. side but um th this guy he would jump. out and allar and let an RPG fly but he. didn't have nod so he didn't know where. he couldn't quite see where we were at. so it's hitting around the trees and. stuff like that and he shot off three.

RPGs but every time the PKM Gunner would. stop and so I saw him this last time and. I remember you remember the thumb. triggers for your laser yeah I remember. I hit my laser when he jumped out again. and his midsection was right in the. middle of my laser no kidding and yeah I. would like to say you know yeah it's. super cool guy two of the chest one of. the head no no no I put like 30 from the. kneecaps all the way up to the. forehead yeah it's it I wanted I wish I.

you know I wish I PKM guy the RPG guy I. wish I could make it sound cool but I. was scared my journal was through the. roof and I I I dumped the mag on him. sounds cool to me. but then the PKM starts back up and um. and we're getting reports that you know. these guys are trying to cut us off in. the Orchard and our jtac our combat. controller he he was on the radio and. he's like hey we have to drop and they.

said we can't it's danger close and so. when they actually took my position to. where the PKM was at it was 22. M and he's and so they needed a I think. it was a three star approval and this is. 1:00 in the morning so we're pinned down. in this position for like five minutes. that's a long time yeah and and just. fighting for our lives and um and. finally the. approval is it they're approved to drop.

and so the jtac comes over the radio and. he's like Ryan this is this is going to. be big man keep your head. down good luck it's like good luck why. would you say good luck that's horrible. but I'll never forget the um he's like. keep your head down man keep your head. down good luck I'll let you know and. it's you know it's it's hard to hear him. over everything but finally I hear the. aircraft overhead and he's like weapons. release man good luck brother.

boom and I felt I felt like my skeleton. had walked out of my body and kind of. like turned around at me and. like SLA me and then came back into my. body again I felt like jello that blast. I mean I remember when it hit I looked. up so I was in I was in a death blade on. like a motorbike Road wider than a trail.

but still um enough for a. motorbike and there was about there was. about 6 in of defate on each side so I. was low and I remember when it all. passed over me. and the mud hut walls are dropping. around not walls but parts of it you. know chunks that would probably hurt. really bad tree limbs and everything. just falling down all around me and. nothing touched me or my guys we got we. dust and and you know stuff like that. but it was like there was this halo over.

us because I looked up and it was like. that's like a 50 lb chunk of wall right. there holy [ __ ] and so I remember. getting up and we're we're staggering. back we're trying to run back um the. Salters if now you know they they were. able to the Taliban that were trying to. flank they're all dead and so now it's. like okay we're trying to stagger our. way back because they're going to hit it. again um and yeah this time they hit it. we were 85 M away and I remember my my.

head was just pounding and um I looked. over at the jtac and he's like you know. you're alive I can't believe you're life. dude I thought you you know and all that. other stuff I was like man how big was. that 250 lb you know he goes That's a. 500 lb Jam we just dropped on you dude. holy [ __ ] yeah so holy [ __ ] yeah 22 M. away yep yeah and that was in the very. beginning and so you know I started to.

get my my wits about me okay now send in. the Afghan the Commandos the assaulters. and they're clearing the compound we're. coming in after them I'm just like I'm. trying to shake it off okay all right. let's let's do this and um we're seeing. you know you got Taliban are dead. throughout the compound and stuff like. that it's like okay um here's compound. you know whatever number it was now Sun. Sun's Up Now well it's it's coming up. you know it's it's probably like 5:00.

a.m. and now it's time to start moving. through the rest of the. village so you know the team s and said. hey man do you you need to get Medevac. you good it's like I'm. good um yeah good to go let's let's keep. moving on adrenaline still pumping and. stuff like that but I didn't want to. leave my friends you know it wasn't a. heroic thing or this like I'm a tough. guy is I didn't want to leave my friends. you know why if I can still walk and.

still do the job then I don't want to. leave my buddies and so we continue on. through uh through this Village and um. you know I think I I think I blew up. myself 20 some some IEDs and my AF or. the Afghan counterparts uh they blew up. over 50 in this Village alone like this. Village was completely rigged from 107. rockets that are you hit a pressure. plate over here it launches a 107 rocket. from down there it just this was a.

nightmare trenches bunker systems. everything and so we found out that this. was a big suicide bombing um staging. point for suicide bombers to go in to uh. Kabul so we finally we get to Loa Loa. all right now we're going to start our. withdraw process um you know yeah had a. you know we had some pop shots here and. there but nothing. substantial so you know the team.

Sergeant or yeah the team sergeant and. the team leader are talking to the. Commandos um their sergeant major and um. team leader saying hey guys we just took. this Village we need to hold it like we. need to leave guys here and they're like. we're not staying here it's dangerous. you guys stay here well no we're we're. not staying here either the mission was. we clear it and then you guys hold the. ground they're like we'll die if we hold. the ground we're leaving too it's like. well all right well amongst this entire.

argument the team s or the um the first. sergeant the commando's first sergeant. came up and he said and threw a um. interpreter said hey um we got guys. moving this way now like well how many. guys I I don't know they keep popping in. and out of um grape rows and tunnels. it's like. uh-oh and it wasn't much after that to. where the entire road we were on it just. erupted in dust getting kicked up.

everywhere from the rounds that were. coming in and then RPG Whizz and by and. the amount of Firepower that was put. down um in that area area we were at it. was just it was deafening and so now. we're jumping into ditches and we're. getting prepared you know we're we're. trying to figure out number one what's. going on and where are they hitting us. from okay we're getting hit from the. front Okay now we're getting hit from. the left okay now we're getting hit from.

the right so we're in a u- shape and. they're not shooting each other because. they're behind um cover and so we're. getting hit from three different sides. and you know right right off the bat you. know I can see two Afghans laying in the. road um they're dead and then uh we. can't get to them it's just there. there's a lot of Fire coming down on us. but now we have three wounded Afghans.

okay and then I have three other Afghans. over here okay guys wounded over there. okay okay we need to get to our trench. line because we can actually crawl this. trench back and it's full of water which. means that there probably won't be IEDs. in it so so let's stay in the water um. and let's move back to find other. Americans it's me and it's Frankie right. now we're the only two Americans in our. position like this is not good and then. we hear the dreaded. noise the release of a mortar. round and then boom mortar round hits.

far second mortar round hits far third. mortar round hits near so what happens. after that they're about ready to split. the difference yep and so it's time to. move so run across the road grab the one. Afghan by the hair yank him out of the. ditch cuz I was like come on come on. they won't move yank him out of the. ditch the other two follow run to our. ditch now we're moving south we're we're. heading back down towards where I can. see um our medic Joe um he's down there.

waving you know come to us so we start. moving down we're carrying to the. Afghans with us all right get to our. first establish CCP all right let's. start to figure out what's going on here. um Afghan you know um bodies are. starting to come in and then we hear the. worst call in the world Eagle down Eagle. down Eagle down it's like well okay who. we don't know his Roster number yet. another radio call Eagle down Eagle down. Eagle down Roster number so and so Eagle.

down Eagle down Eagle down Roster number. so and so that's three Eagle down Eagle. down that's four it's like holy [ __ ]. like we're getting guys hit left and. right Americans and. Afghans and so now we're bringing you. know we're we're getting Americans to. the CCP and the far side of the. CCP Taliban comes up out of the trench. line starts engaging Us in the. CCP wow so now we got to fight that off.

the mistake they made is they were. engaging us at like 85 M and so air air. came in and just mopped them up but we. had to move because guys were coming out. of tunnels. and so now we're moving to another. location where we see um a pretty big uh. portion of our Afghan Commandos at and. they're waving us over so we're trying. to move them over got our casualties all. over there and it's it's crazy you have. mud hut wall and then a Mad Dash for.

like 25 M because as you're running. across the road it's just you know the. rounds just hitting and then okay now. you're within this compound wall okay. good to go Medics are going absolutely. um you know they're just working one guy. after another and then that's when. you're seeing you know the all right put. him over there he he's dead okay put him. over here he's this category he's that. category we still can't get Medevac in.

area is too hot and so we're trying to. get control through air support but as. the helicopter as the Apaches are flying. over they're saying who is. who like where who is who the Taliban. are in your lines we are engaging dudes. at 5 and 10 meters now and that's just. stuff you hear about or you saw in a. movie that doesn't really happen in. Afghanistan you're engaging dudes at 150.

200. meters but now guys are coming up out of. trenches and stuff and you're fighting. guys in your own lines it's like holy. cow so finally we're able to get. separated. get our Afghans back and this is ours. get our Afghans back okay now we have. our new security perimeter set up um. we've neutralized the mortar tube um 81. mm has been neutralized okay good to go. now let's start getting Medevac in okay.

um got Medevac coming in getting. American or getting the most critical. out first whether they're Americans or. Afghans the people that were most. critical were leaving first and um lot. of respect for that too um because we. were all there fighting together so now. it's men weapons and equipment we're. getting told to withdraw like leave this. area dudes are coming in fast get out of. here we're going to we're going to bomb. this entire place okay men weapons and.

equipment all right we're missing four. guys. [ __ ] we're missing four. guys all right okay so first guy where. where's the last time Afghans pointing. over at the last CCP go there and he. would he had been killed um in the. corner and no one saw him there in the. corner so he had got hit and kind of. slouching in the corner and died okay. now we're missing three guys there's. another guy that was in a trench line.

here okay we got him now we're missing. two. guys where is. Abe and where is the Afghan Commando. sergeant major we don't know when's the. last time we saw Abe 500 meters up the. dirt road towards the. Taliban [ __ ] no one gets left. behind we have to go get. them no one gets left behind and so you.

know the the risk vers reward. conversation is had SL. argument and it it's basically hey man I. understand no one gets left behind but. we're risking lives to go and get them. yeah I understand we're risking lives to. go and get them but if we don't go get. them we also have another problem on our. hands of green on Blue well then they're. Afghans they should go get their own. guys they're not going to but if we. don't go get their own guys now we have. a. problem we have to go get them no one.

gets left. behind so our jtac said hey I got an. idea and I I I know this is GNA sound. something like a movie I'm sorry but he. said those two Apaches I'm going to have. them do a gun run up the road and we're. going to take off running behind them. and get to that last. place and he was like I hope this works. cuz they got fuel for this and that's. it like okay so it's like all right here.

they come Pates are inbound all right. and that Cannon just like o geez and I. was like God please help my leg hold up. I got to get to Abe help my leg hold up. and we just took off running down that. road and the patches were doing their it. it was it was. like it was like a dream kind of you. were just kind of out of it but you were. moving forward and we got to the last.

bridge where um I had last saw abat. where our Loa was we' gotten to that. last bridge and I looked over to the. right hand side and he was floating. there in the water and dead and then the. sergeant major was next to him dead damn. um and they were in muddy water but they. had bled out so much that it was. red so all right we got the last two now. we got to get him out of this 6ot ditch.

and we got to get him back and man. bloody bodies are hard to grab onto and. the mud and everything and man we're. we're struggling to get them out finally. get Abe out get the sergeant major out. all right we're moving back and we and. and we we start heading back all. Americans yeah we went out to get our. two Afghan brothers and then other. Afghans saw us coming back with them and.

started running out to help us and stuff. like that. but. we went back for Abe and the sergeant. major because of of our. belief that no one gets left. behind and we are willing to fight and. die to bring back one person because of. our belief. structure that no one gets left.

behind and we did we did him right we. got him home to his family the Taliban. we're going to desecrate the bodies we. got him and the sergeant major back to. their families. um and that was yeah that was the that. was the 2016 we'd been on multiple. missions after that but that was the. biggest that was the biggest fight I. I've ever been in in my. life be how long did that fight last. about 18 18 hours you get a silver star.

for that correct yeah. yeah. but no one got left. behind but that. is [ __ ]. incredible I wish the rest of the. country had that mindset when we were. pulled out of Afghanistan yeah me. too me too I. definitely you know I went went back to.

Afghanistan after that. 2017 um 19 to 20 or I'm sorry 18 to 19. 20 and 20. and. in 2021 you know we definitely in 17 and. 18 and 19 we did great missions um but. my mission in 2021 as a contractor I was.

um you know I had retired in January. 2020 and I went and I contracted and so. I was a counter threat contractor at the. time and we we were armed contractors so. we went out on missions and and stuff. like that with um with. odas um or you know um marso or or. whoever it was but um my job in 2020 was. base closures I'm sorry 2021 was base.

closures and that's that's a weird weird. feeling especially. after you. have done what you've done um blood has. been spilled Brothers have been. lost and the result the ending result of. it is we're closing down bases handing. them over to the Afghans that 100% do.

not intend at all to hold these bases. which will then fall into the hands of. the Taliban and where that American flag. used to fly will now be the Taliban flag. and so I started out at new anck in. Helman and then dwire we closed down new. antick closed down. dwire calf and then bath and I left out. of. bath and going up onto the perimeter. walls in BFF you could see the Taliban.

flags flying everywhere conducting GDA. patrols um when in 2020 when we were in. the peace agreement with the Taliban I. was at dokey and we were conducting GDA. patrols and Taliban Flags everywhere and. the new guys they didn't understand it. but it. was yeah it was something else and then. 2021 watching the Taliban move through.

all the areas that we had that people. had. freedoms and and the ability. to you know to earn a living for. themselves um to take care of their. families the way they want to to raise. their children and live their lives on. their own terms was. gone gone in a blit in a blitz. CG it didn't take them any it didn't.

take them no year or two years whatever. whatever these people in Washington were. trying to say would take the Taliban if. they ever were able to do it took them. months. couple. months. and I sit back. now and I look at what we did in. Afghanistan and the lives that were. changed there and I see that Al-Qaeda.

has re resurfaced. there and different Terror groups are. still fighting for control whether it's. Isis fighting the Taliban or you name it. what did we. do that's a hard question and that's. going to lead into a lot of mental. health struggles it already has it it it. it has and it's going to continue to. lead into a lot of mental health.

struggles that a lot of people have it's. going to lead into a lot of things man. it's going to I. mean who's going to serve the. country yeah all the people that did. serve the country that's the mental. health mhm how's the world going to see. the United States now we abandoned yet. another country that we invaded and. promised to make better and we left them. to die.

mhm. yep the. we it's hard for me to go down this road. man but. um the consequences that this country is. going to feel from the way that we. acted when we pulled out of that.

country we're going to pay for that for. a long time. yeah and it started with those 13 Heroes. that were killed at abig gate. yep. yeah I don't know the answer to it I. don't either I don't think anybody. does but I know the answer is to hold.

these fing. politicians accountable yeah there's no. accountability in this country anymore. for people that for the Elites for the. people in politics look at this [ __ ]. they're just running around Fu rampant. they don't even give a f anymore they. don't try to hide it they just [ __ ] on. everying. thing and they don't have to hide it.

because they have pushed an agenda in. our country that we no longer understand. that they work for the people they are. elected by the people and they work for. the people and nobody knows that anymore. nobody understands that our elected. officials are elected through us to work. for. us I don't think anybody understands.

that because I'm watching it I watch it. unfold on the news. daily how are you not held accountable. for this don't have to. be youing kidding. me I'm better than. you you're just a you're just part of. the. population I'm the. government yeah I I can go all I can go. down some real dark holes with that one. but I well we all know what it leads to.

yeah you don't even have to say it. yeah let's take a break. yeah at Grand Canyon University they. believe that the the military men and. women are the unique Among The Uncommon. you fought for our freedom your bravery. and leadership are celebrated by all. Americans GCU matches your commitment to. Excellence with our councilors. specializing in military benefits in. over 260 flexible degree programs online.

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firecracker. dfarm Shan check them. out all right Ryan so we just wrapped up. some Contracting work that you were. doing and uh had to do with the afcan. withdrawal and so now you're kind of. transitioning out of a combat role and. back into civilian life mhm how's that. go for you so the the transition. over from doing the Contracting job um.

Afghanistan has closed down I'm actually. still a contractor at that point but. there's no real Mission ins sight next. thing maybe would be Syria or something. like that but now you know I have I have. time to actually again that the one. thing we were talking about from the. hospital time I have time to think I. have time to kind of dissect everything. and the big topic there is Afghanistan.

Afghanistan has had a major portion of. my military life um from 2010 to. 2021 um and so now what and so with time. to think I also you know have time to. kind of bring back up a lot of those. things that we had talked about from. earlier that I've always kept myself so. busy in my life to where I never really.

had. to to face who's Ryan Hendrickson even. in the hospital it was okay I have. plenty of time to think. um you know I'm going through you know. the the mental struggles that I was now. I'm going to bury myself completely into. Rehabilitation and Physical Therapy and. I'm going to continue to move forward. with this life is great life is good but. I still haven't quite.

addressed um you know things from my. past whether it was a childhood trauma. or you know my earlier life or the. destruction that I that that I created. throughout my life um being this. entitled victim um to my. injury and a lot of a lot of that uh the. mental I. guess for. better lack of words the middle.

mindfield that I was I was constantly. navigating myself through so I'm I'm. sitting there and I remember it's you. know it's January uh. 2022 and I'm supposed to deploy again. in May of um 2022 to Syria as a. contractor and it's January and we're. watching this we're watching this you.

know this buildup at the border um in. Ukraine and so the world is watching. wondering what's what's going on and no. one you know they'd been building up for. a while and um I didn't really think too. much into it but you know along with. watching you know that buildup at the. border and this this. agonizing question who am I what am I. what is my purpose in life um and then.

having to figure out you know who Ryan. Hendrickson is and to deal with to turn. those past traumas and experiences into. something that I can use to help other. people um now I'm kind of sitting at. this um you know November December. January time frame of 2021. 2022 and I'm and I'm really starting to.

you know purposefully dig deep into who. I am as a person and how how can I H How. can. I use my experiences for something more. than this this can't be it this. Contracting job it's not fulfilling I'm. not doing I'm not doing anything that's. that's really I I'm staying in my. comfort zone I haven't stepped out I'm. doing this job because um it's it's a. paycheck and it's a comfort zone so.

February February 2022 rolls around. tensions are getting a lot hotter at the. border um Ukraine and Russia and I'm. watching things unfold but still I'm in. disbelief no there's no way February. 24th. 2022 Russia um escalates the conflict so. the conflict started in.

2014 2022 was just an escalation of that. conflict and I remember like a lot of. Americans I was watching ing the TV and. I was watching these events. unfold where two nations were going at. it you know this is a near peer War this. isn't an. Insurgency it's not you know it's not a. a a rebel movement or anything like that.

this is a war between two. countries. and so as I'm watching all this. unfold I start to feel this this Nast. nag this nagging like desire that I I. need to get over there and and do. something but I can't I'm a government. contractor what am I going to do am I. going to go over there and fight am i g. to like what what am I going to do Ryan. no. stop the old man calls up he said hey um.

I'm watching the. news yeah me too dad he's like don't. even think about. it I said think about what he goes you. know exactly what he's like don't even. think about it he said you've done your. part you don't need to go over there and. fight don't even think about it so I. okay well I wasn't thinking about it Dad. I was like damn it I was but but um then. I started talking to one of my buddies.

his name is his name is David. Cunningham and his family founded the. missionary organization ywam youth with. the mission and so Dave and I have. gotten really close and um and we had. been you know we were talking back and. forth um and I said yeah I just I feel. lost right now and this is this is the. beginning of March I said I feel lost. right now I feel I feel like there's a.

higher purpose for me but I just I I. don't know what it is I don't I don't. know what I can do and I'm still you. know cha you know I'm still kind of um. running from demons or chasing demons or. I'm I'm I'm trying to get a handle on. who Ryan Hendrickson is but something. about Ukraine is just it's pulling at me. and I I I don't know why and he's like. well what do you want to do so I I don't. know I I mean I feel like I should go.

over there but I don't know if I want to. fight I've done enough of that I was. like there there there's got to be. something bigger something you know I. don't know what my purpose is and he. said well I can help you figure it out. like what are you talking about Dave he. goes yeah we got a ywam campus in Kei. and the people that volunteered to stay. behind um they're running buses to all. of the suburb areas that the Russians. are coming into and evacuating people.

out it's like they've never been to war. before they could probably use your help. um you know just to stay alive he's like. would you want to do that. and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. so I I quit my Contracting job and I. headed I headed over there the middle of. March and it was like um it was like a. rob it was like a Robin sage exercise. all right man you're going to fly in the. crack out Poland you're going to meet up. with this guy at so get from the airport.

to this hotel you're going to stay at. this hotel two days you're going to meet. up with this guy he doesn't speak. English but he's going to take you to. the Border then you're gonna get dropped. off and get with another guy who's a. border expert I was like border. expert all right cool really great guy. doesn't speak English you'll be fine. it's like okay great so then you're. going to get to a safe house another. guy's going to pick you up and bring you. all the way into keev and then you'll.

link up with the with the ywam guys and. start the work any questions I was like. I've been through a scenario like this. before it's called Robin sage so so all. right so of course you know I it's like. all right job's been quit you know um. Don my wife she's strangely extremely. comfortable with it like yeah you know. this yeah this is a good cause it's. like no you're Ukraine yeah I know it's.

a good cause you're going to help. people Ukraine Ukraine you know the. Russia Ukraine the War I. know okay. and um so I head over there and of. course the plan goes as plans always go. guy shows up 5 hours late um get to the. border and then you know I'm I'm able to. get across fairly easily the Border. guards are like. American okay and then those two words.

that I hate the most good luck it's like. God Bless America all right so now safe. house and then my and then Ukrainian. who's who turned out to be one of my. good friends Max picks me up and uh. we're heading to Kei and keeve is a. ghost town no traffic no vehicles. nothing's moving it's like holy cow so I. get to the wwam campus get some sleep.

and they say hey um we're doing a run um. did you bring the body armor like yeah I. brought body armor for us it's like cool. do you know how to drive a stick shift. it's like yeah it's like okay uh you can. drive this we're going over to this. place and we're going to bring women and. children. out oh like right now right. now yeah wow like right now right now so. hit the ground running with with these. these kids they they were all low.

20s and they they wanted to help so. badly and their way of contributing was. to evacuate women and children out of. areas that the Russians were moving into. cuz men had to stay in fight and. so now all of a sudden you know I'm I'm. I'm sitting here and we're evacuating. people out of the suburbs of keev and a. little bit further Beyond but it got a.

little risky if you started heading too. if you if you try to um skirt around the. Russian lines you could find yourself in. a bad situation really quick so we were. staying in areas where we had clear um. you know withdraw withdraw is a military. term but we had a clear way out if if we. needed to if it got you know and there. was a couple instance where ukrainians. you know would stop us shut all lights. off everyone's real quiet as that Sue. fighter flies overhead or whatever it is.

you know but for the most part it's just. we're we're going to these areas and the. families that are just been ripped apart. by War you know the the wife and the. kids are saying probably they're final. goodbyes to their husband as he's being. armed at that point here's an. AK you guys are leaving you're going. with them and I'm watching I'm watching.

all this. unfold and I'm seeing the worst and the. best of. humanity I'm seeing the purest and the. evilest that's not really a word but you. know what I mean of. humanity people are charging in to. defend their. homes and we're charging in to evacuate. out their. families and so now I'm starting to I'm.

starting to see that the mental health. struggles that I've had whether whether. it was my childhood or you know my. injury or. whatever what other. self-induced you know entitled. victimized pitfalls that I've fallen. into throughout my life I'm starting to. see that none of that really matters.

right now because I'm doing something. that's bigger than. myself I'm doing something that is is. helping other people and I'm never. I'm I I'll get a thank you but that's it. yeah I'll never see these people again. I'm I won't even know whatever even. happened to. him and all of a sudden I'm starting to. feel this this purpose to my.

life and this this reason for Ryan. Hendrickson this I'm starting to see. this rough outline of who Ryan. Hendrickson. is and everything that had happened to. me whether um I did it to myself or it. was done to me now all of a sudden it's. not fading away it's always going to be. there with you um one of the biggest.

mistakes people make in their mental. health. journey is they want the situation that. happened to him in the past whatever it. was whether it was a rape or it was. abuse or it was a traumatic injury or it. was losing a buddy in combat whatever it. was people try to make it disappear like. it never happened I want this out of my. mind out of my life this never happened. I'm done how do I do that you can't it's.

impossible and they will fight so hard. to make. this situ ation like it never happened. instead of understanding that it did. happen and there's nothing you can do. about it this is a part of your life now. now you're at the forks in the road like. my dad told me are you going to use it. to make yourself stronger to help other. people or are you going to become a. victim of it and that's that's that's. where a lot of the the the breakdown.

happens with mental health but I was. laying back at night after a mission and. we're unarmed we we're we're we're just. going in there was one point in the. chaos of the initial evasion where the. Russians were coming this way and we. were driving this way on a road and I. was like those are. Russians yeah it was because the lines. were blurred but I was laying back at. night and you can hear you can hear the. explosions in the outskirts of the city. and you can you know you you would just.

listen to it and hear it and I was. laying back at night and I just. remembered or I was that that that. fulfillment that I was getting that I. did something that was bigger than. myself I did. something. that that was making. me the man that I wanted to be when I. was laying there um next to the Helman. River and I looked back in disgust at.

who I was as a Man March 2022 I was. proud of myself for once in my life. first time in my life that's what the. first time you've ever been proud of. yourself yeah first time in my life I. had a purpose and I was proud of. myself and my mental health from there. the purpose grew now the Russians are. moving East and civilians are coming. back to their homes and they're hitting. mines and they're hitting booby traps.

this is something I I understand this. world I understand this pain that child. doesn't need to go through the pain that. I went through that's not fair. they're not a they're they're they're. the innocent cot in the middle I can. help with this whether it was from just. basic awareness in the beginning of. April of 2022 like hey don't touch this. stay away from this yep I would probably. no one come into this place it's rigged. for sure to now I'm helping you know um.

people with detectors this is how you. use this DET detector this is how you. handle this mind this how you do this. and when I was getting ready to come. home in May of. 22 I looked and I said you know. what this is who I. am this is my purpose in life and I have. this purpose because of September 12th. 2010 I understood why God put that IED.

in that doorway for me and why he had to. bring me to the brink of. death. in order for me to become the man that I. am slowly but I'm becoming. today that that was God's wakeup call. you're up this is going to hurt really. bad but I need to get your attention. because there's something bigger for you. you have a purpose and you're not. fulfilling it it's going to hurt but.

trust me this is for a reason. Ryan and I saw that play out my dad said. it to me in the hospital hospital. room you have the golden. ticket this will change your life and. you're going to change so many other. people's lives then I came home and I I. did I started up the 501c3 I have now. and I've been back to Ukraine um five. other times removing landmines you've.

been there five times or six times um f. or six total six total but five removing. landmines so I came back. and I just started helping civilians out. with in their areas where where where's. a mine at I I can help I can do this you. know now you have a perspective that not. a lot of us get you know going to war. and I don't have this perspective I. don't think anybody I know has this.

perspective of what war is like you are. the only person I know that has this. perspective and I find it very. interesting what is it like. in the middle of a war when you're not. on any one particular side we had spoke. at breakfast and you're not really. you're not there to choose sides you're. there to save innocent people who are. caught in the middle of yep of of War. what's that what is that perspective you.

ever heard of strength through. vulnerability yes strength through. vulnerability is what it is I am I. am I am becoming the man that I. think God had planned for. me through and I'm becoming stronger. through the vulnerabilities that we have. and our vulnerable state is yeah I I I.

go into these areas unarmed and we. remove landmines booby traps. explosive um. devices and we're we're not armed we. don't take sides um we are there for the. innocent civilians caught in the middle. and I've been told multiple times you're. that's that's insane you're an idiot. it's like all right I got it or do you. have a death wish or you know yeah keep.

believing God's going to save you and. see where that see where you wind up. that's fine my belief and my. faith go goes back to the beginning and. the end chapters have already been. written it's up to you to fill in those. middle chapters and I'm I'm filling them. in the best I can and the end you know. my life's going to go on for a long time. but this. new you know the chapters that I'm.

filling in now are not full of pain. despair destruction hurt anger guilt. they're full of helping people people. and and and strength and and just U. courage and forgiveness and empathy and. healing that's what these chapters are. now and again I never I didn't know who. Ryan Hendrickson was before February.

24th. 2022 and I. found who I am and what I'm meant to be. and what God wants for me um I found. that finally people you know people was. like well I'm just an old dog in the. fight I'll never change yes you will you. can my dad changed he went from a. shotgun underneath his neck to who the. man he is today who raised the man I am. today and I changed from an absolute.

monster a self-entitled victimized. monster to to what I'm doing. today that's you know the fact that when. people think that you know I'm I'm never. going to change this is who I am that's. another way of victimizing. yourself you already you know you're. you're making yourself the. victim and so yeah the the.

vulnerabilities of doing what we do and. I don't I I don't demine on the front. lines like we're we're back 15 20 km. from the front um you know we've been in. areas where they'll start hitting it. with artillery and then you you just. leave it's like yeah I I don't want to. be a victim here so I'm I'm heading out. um but yeah I mean. it's the the strength through. vulnerability to doing the doing.

something that's bigger than yourself. regardless of the cost helping people. that that you'll never see again you. don't know who they are um you may get a. thank you um but you're helping. them. because a lot of people abuse the term. it's the right thing to do what's the. right thing to do like what is what's. the right thing to do Hitler thought he. was doing the right thing Stalin thought. he was doing the right thing like what's. the right thing to do but when you're.

helping people out because of your. belief and your faith that this is what. you're supposed to be doing I mean. there's there's a there's a huge power. to. that. and it's it revolves around having a. higher. purpose but I could not have gone Ryan. Henrickson. pre um Brooks Army Medical Center I.

couldn't have gone straight from the the. self-entitled victimized Ryan. Hendrickson into this I never would have. saw I I never would have took the chance. I never would have saw the doors open. for me I had to take. control over. myself I had to take responsibility like. my dad said for my actions who the [ __ ]. are. you who who are you to try and to try. and like.

push what you think other people should. be doing you know okay so yeah you got. you got wounded here or you had this. incident happen here or this happened to. you. who who are you to try and force people. to to to f to to fill your entitled void. through through pity for you and and and. all these you know these these accolades. that you think you need from somebody. else to build you up because you think.

you deserve. something that is so far beyond what. anybody else gets because of an incident. that you think you went through who the. are you and who made you. God you're not special you are a person. just like everyone else here regardless. of what path you chose in the military. first responder I don't care name the. job regardless of the path that you.

chose you're no better than that guy. over here and you're no better than that. person over here we are all human beings. who made you to God that you're going to. force these people who are trying so. hard thank you for your service thank. you for your service thank you thank you. thank you you don't understand thank you. you're they're trying hard but no one. will ever fill that entitled void in you. because you won't allow it you will suck. people dry you will push people away.

from you unless you take control over. your own life a lot of the mental health. problems we have right now is people. want the solu solution given to them. without any work they want this do you. know what I did for you do you know I. served our country I've done this your. freedoms are because of me you wouldn't. have the freedoms you do unless it was. for me and go down that whole Rabbit. Hole of. entitled mindsets that a lot of veterans.

give and they put off to a community. that does. support but they don't allow because you. keep wanting more and more and more. because the entitlement void will never. be filled and as you want more people. start to move away from you mhm to where. now you're not now you're secluded. you're alone well I. mean those are damn good points and I'm.

going to say man you came at a at a. perfect time because I've been I've been. talking to my wife about how the veteran. Community continues to victimize. themselves and you know and it it's. a it's a tough n to crack you know I. don't excuse me I'm going to disagree. with you a little bit on some of these. things I while I do I understand.

especially I'll say it especially the. Special Operations Community is the. most entitled community in all of the. military maybe even more than Pilots but. but and it's because you know yeah we. did bust our ass to get there I mean it. was a lot of blood [ __ ] and tears you. know the Q course buds whatever it is we. talked about training at the beginning. and and your opinion is we do have.

the most capable special operators on. the planet yes you know that does create. a lot of entitlement I think. that the in the veteran community in in. general I think there's also a certain. amount of. resentment that a lot of us feel as well. especially when we just. watched or in your case took part in the.

Afghan withdrawal yeah and you see half. of the country you know is all about how. that went down they're and just great. it's okay you know know they saw it. happen maybe they're pissed off for 5. minutes but hey by the time they wake up. in the morning theying forgot all about. it cuz did it affect them no mhm it. didn't affect him yeah the F 20 years a. war did that affect him no it didn't. affect him mhm you know and that [ __ ]. bothers me yeah I don't feel like I'm.

self-entitled I mean I've worked for. every thing I've gotten I mean you see. how the shows run it's me and you. sitting in here in this studio I run. this [ __ ] you know I have an awesome. team behind me but it took me a long. time toing build that but I I still. struggle with resentment you know from. the American population that's sat on. their ass and had and done [ __ ] MH and. allows this [ __ ] in our country. toing go on like the Afghan withdraw I'm.

tired of that [ __ ] M you know and it it. does it builds a lot of. resentment and I can tell you right now. the hairs on the back of my neck are. standing up right now because it makes. me soing angry that I ever put my ass on. the line for 50% of theing people that. live in this country who are. self-entitled turds MH you know with. that being. said and that's just my opinion you know.

but I I do think there is. a I mean I just said I went through it. you know I I think there's a certain. amount of resentment that a lot of us. feel and maybe it's Justified maybe it. isn't but you know there are a lot of. weaking people in this country mhm a ton. of them and it it it just it bugs us. yeah with that being said I'm 100% on.

board with you when you're talking. about victimizing I mean that we had a I. wish would have had the conversation we. had at breakfast here on camera but yeah. you know I mean I do I see it all the. time and and the tricky thing with the. veteran Community is this [ __ ] is coming. in waves you know because it was it was. I mean [ __ ] I got out of the SEAL Teams. in late 2006 and then spent.

a. um the better part of a decade at the. agency contract and over there you know. going to all all the same [ __ ] holes I. want to and in the military and seeing. the exact same stuff and. and and so I guess what I'm saying is we. there's 20year time period where guys. are cycling through you know and it's. it's a multi-generational war you know. that we just got out of it's the only.

war. that you could have. joined and gotten out out and had an. entire career MH of combat more than. World War II more than Vietnam more than. any of them yeah an entire fing career. 20 years from enlistment to retirement. and more and so you're seeing these. waves of vets come out and they're all. it's all you know it's it's a struggle.

and and the cycle you know they just. keep starting over and starting over and. we're going to see you know the last. cycle here soon yeah uh of guys coming. out but you know I do I pay attention. you know. and I think that there are a lot of. vets who don't want to move past their. service you know they think they've hit. the Pinnacle of their existence at a. young age and man if you if you give.

that period of time that. much um that profound of a. of a whatever you know that's the. Pinnacle of your existence then. everything after that is downhill yeah. you know and I I went through that I'm. I'm sure you went through that hey I'm. at the Pinnacle made it through the Q. course I your leg you got a silver star. for you know what I mean I mean there. were a lot of Pinnacles you know that.

you've overcome and but you keep. climbing and you keep outdoing yourself. you know. and and I think I think a lot of vets. they get they get because of the the. because of the the news and and what. other vets are putting out in the. struggle and everybody knows the VA. system's a completeing disaster and. everybody knows we get treated like [ __ ]. and you know and we're we are.

the. probably well I don't want to say this. but what's on well El said we're we're. probably one of the communities that are. that are treated the shittiest flush. down theing toilet and forgotten about. quicker than anybody else I mean you. watch the news and every other every. other community demographic whatever the. you want to call it of people who are. who are who are victimizing themselves.

or or they want reparation whatever it. is man you know what I mean that's all. media covers itn't matter what. demographic what group of people what. sexuality doesn't matter they'll cover. it. veterans [ __ ] them yeah [ __ ] on them. flush them down the toilet we don't want. to talk about this [ __ ] you know and so. you can. either victimize yourself because of. that or you can [ __ ] overcome it and.

do exactly what you're saying but what I. see is I see a lot of guys that they. make a career that's their new career is. victimizing them. and it's like you. know I think. that minus all the trauma you know that. everybody's seen at War and and and and. reintegrating back into civilian life. you know veterans minus the PTSD and the. TBI and all of that and the and the. suicide epidemic that's going on and I.

mean it's it's a huge problem huge you. know. but two things of that struggle with. especially coming out of the Special. Operations Community is the inability to. reinvent yourself MH you know that is a. that's that's that's a big huge the. inability to reinvent themselves I mean. it's you. just and to to to continue to develop is.

is men and women you know it's it's a. lot of the development I noticed it. stops at the end of the military career. or on that last combat deployment that's. where the development stops because they. get. stuck. and they get stuck in that life and they. know they're the Pinnacle. of War fighting mhm and and and and they.

can't they can't find a way to develop. into the Pinnacle of something else you. know and well it just starts with a. [ __ ] step one step mhm you know in. another Direction and leaving that. baggage behind and and and I know that's. hard I know it's hard I did it you did. it you know yeah you got to take you got. to take responsibility for yourself just. about everybody in this that sat in that.

chair from the military uh has done it. has figured out how to do it. but you know but you know then you. see. you you have to want to get better man. you have to want to leave that [ __ ]. behind and and and even a lot of. influencers that I respect you know that. I have a tremendous amount of respect. for I still see them doing the same [ __ ]. influencers whatever I just influencers.

I hate that word but yeah I hate it but. you know people people with a big. presence you know with a with a with a. big. audience it's I'm [ __ ] rooting for. him and I I don't say this publicly to. any of them because it's not my place. but but inside I'm like man you've got. to you've got eventually each and every. one of us I feel like it it it gets to a. point where it's like you have to stop.

addressing this problem and move on MH. like you've made your mark you've you. you've you've don't at you've coached. you've helped you've talked about it. you've done every thing you can now it's. time to move on improve to your audience. mhm that you can move on from this [ __ ]. yeah. or you know what I do is I I mean. veterans will always have a spot in my.

heart man I mean I am one you know what. I mean and I do know the. struggles and I like to concentrate on. the guys that are getting out but you. know it it for my personal development. you know my personal development was I. mean I I went. [Music]. from being a contractor to teaching. tactics to. interviewing former colleagues and and. men and women like yourself MH to all.

right I got to keep developing yeah I. have to keep developing and so I bring. on other you know other guests and I in. my network and I talk about other issues. there there's more issues than just the. veteran Community now now I'm getting. involved in this antix trafficking. movement and sex exploitation and all. this [ __ ] that's plaguing ouring kids. which are the future of our country you. know one in four girls is molested yeah. in this country as per CDC which I don't.

trust the CDC so it's probably worse one. in 13 boys it's [ __ ] molest it yeah you. know I. mean there's there's you have to develop. I guess is what I'm saying you have to. develop and you have to you have to. broaden your horizons and move into. other areas and and that's just how you. can develop as a person and and the the. the veteran Community really struggles.

with that I think a lot of professional. athletes struggle with that too when. they think they've hit the Pinnacle of. their life absolutely you know and and. and I think. I used to not want to admit there's a. lot of similarities you know because how. hard can it be going from being a. 18-year-old basketball player to making. $20 million a [ __ ] and then you want to. want to listen to your [ __ ] sob. story about how you blew all your money. yeah but I do understand being the. Pinnacle of a certain occupation yep and.

then it goes away and you have no. identity you have to do exactly what. you're talking about who is is Ryan. Hendrickson yeah who is Shan Ryan I. don't know because everything that I. thought I was is now gone yep and. everything starts with a purpose you got. to have that higher purpose and veterans. in order to be able to even. realize that you need to have a higher.

purpose to know who you are as a man or. woman you have to be able to take. control. over yourself first the fact of the. matter that half the country gives two. shits what happened in Afghanistan they. don't care they don't know the sacrifice. they don't know the suffering but part. of part of that healing for yourself is. is the understanding that you can't. force them you can't force the Sheep of.

this country because we have a lot of. them you cannot force them to ever. understand what you went through because. they're not going to to and there's no. amount of talking there's no amount of. of of of lobbying there's no amount of. force that will ever make somebody. understand something that is incapable. of it therefore as that human being as. that veteran you have to be able to. understand this and be able to fill that. that that void in yourself that your.

entitlement has created a lot of. veterans a lot of veterans fall into the. entitlement hole you don't know what. I've been through you don't know what. I've done for you and it's going to get. worse because of Afghanistan and a lot. of us have a good reason to feel that. way um but the problem with entitlement. is it creates victimization because. you're never going to be able to fill. that entitled void it is impossible you. can't do it we have a whole country of. victims that's why I know it's. impossible because we have a country of.

people that will never never leave vict. victimization they will always be the. victims I'm not talking veterans I'm. talking a country I know what you're. talking yeah and so but the veterans. plague themselves because they do have a. right they do have a rightful complaint. in a [ __ ] do you know what we just did. for us to do this we're at a very. dangerous time in the veteran Community. right now because of Afghanistan it's. very dangerous and it is critical that. veterans take they they take control.

over their lives and start to fill that. Gap through a higher purpose you have to. heal yourself before anybody else can. help you it is impossible for anybody to. feel that entitled victimized um that. entitlement Gap that you have that is. leading to the victimization of yourself. it is impossible for someone else to. fill it you have to work on yourself in. order for me to be able to help you you. can't call me up on the phone after you. just blew through three bottles of Jack.

to tell me that life isn't worth it and. you're [ __ ] up what are you doing for. yourself to as the military would say. unfuck yourself what are you doing for. yourself how are you how are you um how. are you trying to take control over your. life besides calling multiple people. after you've already burnt through a. bunch of boo telling them life isn't. worth it and and and you can't you know. you're never going to amount you know.

just. the I get I get fired up over it. because it is it's. a lot a lot of people want this solved. by somebody else I did this for you now. you do this for me it doesn't work that. way there's the three Fs in life if. you're not feeding someone financing. them or them guess what you aren't going. to they they can't they can't do. anything for you you can say tell you're. blue in your face thank you for your.

service or hey man I'm really proud of. what you guys did or anything or hey you. know yeah you guys deserve what you got. whatever ever it is you know there's no. amount of talk that will ever um that. will ever fill your entitlement void you. have to do that yourself and then once. you realize that and you start to work. on yourself then you can start to. actually get you can start to appreciate.

and actually use the help that other. people are giving you you can use it to. benefit yourself to make yourself. stronger to help other people and. through helping other people you find. that purpose in your life people ask me. is there a cure for pts or PTSD I said. yeah there is it's finding something. that's bigger than yourself that helps. other people out in doing it your. purpose your purpose in life is what. you're doing right here I've been.

thinking about it the entire time we've. been talking God is working through you. in crazy ways like this message the. message of of you know people like me. and all the other guests that you've had. on here that message is changing. people's lives. everywhere you went through however many. years of your life looking for who Shawn. Ryan is and this is Shawn Ryan giving. people the platform to tell their. stories to come out here and shed a few. tears to get emotional to to show that.

we're all [ __ ] humans regardless of. what special whatever you were we're. still human beings fears. anger despair depression happiness guilt. all that we're all still human beings. and with that. purpose now all of a sudden that. entitlement void it's it's starting to. be filled you're not entitled to it. you're not victimized by it you're.

taking control over things because. you're helping other. people and to me that's. that's what saved my life I could have. been one in the 22 a day no I could. easily have been one I saw I saw it as a. viable option that's dangerous well you. know what if [ __ ] gets any worse I know. what I can do y yeah that's a dangerous. mindset I could have done that I see why. guys do it that's bad and it's because.

you lack that that purpose for your life. you operated at this level when you were. here and now you're here who am I I used. to do this but now you're you're trying. to for you're you're not letting this go. you know people need to know what I used. to do people need to understand who I. was I need like I need this same sort of. fulfillment in my. life I'm just this right now I need this. this is gone brother you can't ever get.

that back you have to find your new. purpose you have to find that new um you. know who you are as a human being you'll. always have this but that's not who you. are you know I'm not Ryan Henrickson. green ber I'm Ryan Hendrickson that's it. and I've done this and I've done this. and I've been here but I'm working. myself up here and I come down back down. here but then I build myself back up but.

all of it revolves around you as a human. being you have to have that higher. purpose for your life or else you're. going to sit in at you're going to sit. down here wishing you were back up here. climbing and falling down that slippery. slope and you're never going to achieve. this because you don't understand that. this is gone this was a part of your. life at one point in time but this is. not who you are every single person. who's up here worked their ass off to.

get there whether you you know even. these people that have had everything. handed to them their whole life you know. what I mean that are that appear to be. up here they're miserable if they didn't. earn their way I. mean how am I saying this when when we. when you put it up here people think of. what do they think of they think of. success they think of athletes the rich. athletes people with a big following. yeah you know but there's a lot of.

people up here that didn't earn their. way up here who are just as miserable. yeah is all the people that are still. victimizing themselves because they know. damn well they didn't earn their way to. the top they're just a [ __ ] chump yep. that wound up there and they don't even. know what the to do now that they're. there yeah you know and that my I would. think that's even more miserable than. you know what I mean than being down. here but but up here what it really is.

is it's it's it's peace it's it's no. it's it's what your old man said mhm you. know that story that you told me at the. at the beginning yeah you got two guys. yep you know sitting on a porch and a. chair and one of them didn't take any. risk and just coasted through life and. the other guy failed succeeded went. through heartache went through hard.

times went through good time he he. experienced life to the fullest yeah and. then you got the chump but with the guy. in the wheelchair that was fulfilled he. is also he's been at this point before. in his life and when this point was done. he moved on to the next point that was. up here Y and the next point if he. stayed stuck in this point he never. would have left from down here yep and. then the regrets of letting life pass. you by and the I wish I would have why.

didn't I ever move on from Seventh group. why didn't I ever move on from SE. September 12th 2010. what if I would have just and then go. down that whole list it's sad it's sad. to see it's sad to see it and I want to. I want to say something to backtrack and. then this totally unrelated but you know. i' mentioned you know there's the. resentment back to the resentment the. veterans feel you know and and. especially with the Afghan withdraw and. and the direction that the country is.

going look I said 50% of the country. didn't give a [ __ ] well there's also 50%. of the country that does give a [ __ ] yep. and you know and I will say another. thing you. know we're all being fed a [ __ ]. Mirage right now there are more people. that give a about where this country is. headed and what how [ __ ] has gone down. over the past however many years you. know. and there are.

more red-blooded patriotic Americans mhm. than you think think there. are it is the. media yep and the. corporations that are putting this. Mirage on that make it. appear that more of the country thinks. like them that's not fing true you can. see it in stock prices on these. different corporations you can see it in.

ratings on these news outlets you can. see it in the on this show this showed. hit number four not long ago today we're. back up to number 10 out of all podcasts. mhm. dude we're just above 60 something. episodes we're just above 60 episodes. this [ __ ] doesn't happen no that's how. many and it's not me and it's not you. and it's not everybody else that's sat.

here it's the audience they want to see. this stuff they want. to this is this is what they're into. this lines with their values this lines. with how they think the country should. be This Is How They picture the country. and you don't hit number four out of 60. pod we hit it at 58 mhm we hit number. four 58 now I I don't know I think we're. at 65 and we're back to number 10 Again. M and you know that's not the brag.

that's the can give hope man yeah. because that is how many people are. aligned. with the values that we're talking about. right now yeah I agree with you. completely they're looking it's just. hard to find because media's corrupt. politicals corrupt corporations are. corrupt Y and they're trying to force. everybody into. that agenda yeah you know and we're not.

having it no no I um I agree with you. completely because I watch watched what. happened with um. Target um who who else took took one of. the just catastrophic. hits. um it was uh Bud. Light they got. smacked um and there's a car deal I. think it was Ford maybe.

or I'm not even aware of that one yeah. there was but yeah but it's everywhere. everyone you know what I mean it just. it's if you look if you look through the. smoke you will see this [ __ ] is a mirage. yeah it's not like that no no and it and. it shows that's the reason why I do know. for people that are suffering you know. with mental health and stuff like that.

and they like first of all stop watching. the news yeah stop man it's it's it's. propaganda it's it's media propaganda. but the people that are suffering with. it I'm telling you there you don't need. to you can you can you can you can. figure out who you are and there's. tribes out here we're a tribe. mentality there there are so many. Americans that are that are here to help. that are here to to help you with that.

purpose but they're not going to come. find you you and that's what I tell. veterans all the time you have to want. to be helped yep yep I can't do it for. you you can't do them for him no you. know it's you have to want it. and a lot of I you know we we talked. about it today at breakfast there's a. lot of people they they they don't they. do not want out of that victim mentality.

cuz it's easy it's easy it's easy it's. comfortable. and we we promote it in our country look. at our movies look at our TV shows. everything is drama victimization listen. to our music look at what we're pumping. our kids with what you listen and watch. is what you're going to. become yeah and we we we we love the. drama the victimization the entitlement.

look at what we're doing as a. country I mean it's our country is full. of victims full of. them it's. just but we still I. believe the. majority are not like that yeah man it. just like we were talking about earlier. nobody's going to get you out of. whatever you're in nobody's going to get. you to the top and even if somebody did.

get you to the top nobody's going to. respect you once you get there because. everybody knows it was handed to you yep. cuz you're a chump yep you know and so. get off youring ass quit feeling sorry. for yourself mhm and start making some. changes yeah that's how you do it 100%. say it again get off youring ass and. start making some changes. yep doors will open for you once you. take control I promise you that yep.

yep but well Ryan. what a great discussion man this has. been amazing um I just man I'm just so. happy that we got to meet and yeah that. uh Kyle Morgan connected us and me too. and uh man I got to dude it's just it's. an honor to have you sitting in that. chair across from me and and um it's an. honor to be here I hope we stay in touch. oh we will I really do we will but um.

how can people get in touch with you how. do they donate to your I love what. you're doing over there in Ukraine I. especially love that you're. not it's got to be hard to not pick a. side you know when you're in the middle. of a war zone but you've picked you've. chosen the side of the innocent and um I. mean it's just it's just amazing man. what you're doing how can how can we. donate U the landm removal. org um.

that's that's uh that's that's our. website right there so and um yeah we uh. we we buy uh detectors and uh landmine. removal equipment we bring it over um. train up um ukrainians on it and U then. we go out we demine with them for a. couple months that's my way of vetting. them to make sure that this equipment is. going to continue to you know um remove. landmines out of Civilian areas and then. I donate all over to them and then I.

come back fundraise again buy more. equipment go back over do it all over. again so how much is one of those land. mine removal devices so a CH detector. would be $2,400. $2400 how many BS have. you. 1,765 I'm not counting holy [ __ ] I'm not. C did you just say. 1,765 MH damn is that just you or is. that the people you've train too no.

that's that's that's four of us [ __ ] man. that's a lot that's a ton you know. what's bad it's nothing barely putting a. dent in not even a dent if you put in if. you put a drop in the bucket it's the. most minute. drop you didn't even put a ripple in the. water that could be one field in Ukraine. well I don't know if I'd say that how. many kids do you think you've saved by I.

hope a lot yeah so there's definitely a. ripple man yeah there is definitely a. rebble maybe you didn't get all of them. but you got a lot of them in the right. places you know and there's a lot of. kids yeah and women yep and men walking. around today that wouldn't be because. you're out there doing that I hope so y. there's no hope brother they're you're. doing it that's that's a real. thing but anyways.

right. yeah. [Music]. hey everybody I'm Shawn Ryan click here. to subscribe to the Sha Ryan Show. YouTube channel for the hottest and most. compelling interviews that you will not. see anywhere else I've also made a. playlist of all the previous SRS. episodes so they're easy to find you can.

find that right. here.