Laird Hamilton - The Greatest Big Wave Surfer of All Time | SRS #86

something that truly inspires me are. folks that are Trends Setters people who. are born with a raw talent or a gift or. a certain skill set that maybe Falls. outside of. society's normal parameters and instead. of conforming and changing their gift. and trying to get better at something. else to please somebody that they don't. even care about they go off and they do. their own thing they.

exercise the skill set gift raw talent. that they've been. given and they get so good at it that. they force the. attention of the public the critics the. world and my next guest did just that he. is possibly the most prolific surfer in. the entire world and in the beginning. the surfing Community wouldn't give him. the time of day they wouldn't sponsor.

him because he refused to conform to the. judges point system or anything else. that the community was trying to make. him do instead he pursued his dreams and. he became so good at what he does that. he forced the attention of the entire. world to look at his. talent ladies and. gentlemen that exact mindset is partly. how I built this podcast is by.

setting Trends and not looking at. competition and not worrying what. everybody else thinks and so for. me this next episode is truly. inspirational ladies and. Gentlemen please welcome my. friend my business partner and the most. prolific surfer in the entire world. lared Hamilton to the Shawn Ryan Show if. if you get anything out of this please.

head over to Apple podcast and Spotify. leave us a review. patreon thank you for all the love it's. because of you guys that this show even. exists and everybody else thank you for. all the support we love all of you. cheers from the Sha Ryan Show team and. much love to you all enjoy the. [Music]. show.

lared Hamilton welcome to the show man. Sean thank. you this has been drug me Inland you. drug me Inland that's right you don't. come Inland much do. you only for you and a few other and a. few other brief moments but yeah Inland. I'm I'm far from the ocean I'm like H I. wonder how long it will take me to get. to water we got a lot of creeks there we. got a lot of they temporarily yeah yeah. have you ever been to Tennessee I have. not well welcome it's a good time of.

year to be here in Fall so color in the. trees yep yep but uh so let me give you. a quick introduction here even though. you don't really need one but American. big wave surfer founder of layed. superfood Pioneer in action water sports. fitness health and nutrition innovator. of standup paddle boarding and hydrofor. boarding successfully surfed Jaws the.

wave size for those that don't know of. Jaws from what I understand is 30 to 80. feet that works that's insane am I am I. accurate on that that yeah yeah where is. that Wave It's on Maui is it yeah it's. off it's off of ironically it's at the. base of the largest dormant volcano in. the world no K I don't know if there's a. relationship but yeah there it's a it's. a it's a it's a special. wave uh on the tip of Maui that that. When We Were Young was was unserved we.

we were the I mean people paddled out to. it just to see it uh but we were the. first ones to to actually ride it and. make it a wave to be ridden and kind of. we actually brought it I I I I say we. brought it its destruction but we. brought the popularity to the spot which. now has made it busy oh man that's uh. that's you're you're quite the. adrenaline juny I think we have a lot of.

common here but um I can't wait to dive. into that uh stunt double for James Bond. in the opening film Die Another Day. filmed at jaws regarded by surf. historians as the all-time best of the. best at big wave surfing that's quite. the compliment and uh probably the most. important husband 26 years you're a. father of three daughters you're an. author producer Fitness and Nutrition. ntion expert and as I've mentioned.

before adrenaline. junkie I don't know that's kind of a the. problem with that term it's a little bit. of a write off but yes I'll take it I'll. take I'll take part of it you know when. did your addiction to Adrenaline start I. I mean I kid like little kid my dad said. that I would when I. was young like six seven I would go to. like a I'd go to a cliff where adults. were kind of apprehensive and just jump.

off stuff so I think I I mean I think I. was naturally I mean the truth is is a. piece of it had to start cuz there was. stories of my my mom my real father uh. left my mom while my mom was pregnant. and my mom went to San Francisco to have. have me but she had. boyfriend boyfriend boyfriends when I. was young and I think they were like. pushing her around or something and I.

would attack them like when I was like. very young like they said like a. three-year-old just come and attack the. leg you know like I was like so I. think I don't know if that part of it. part of my development in being that way. could have started from that like that I. needed to be courageous uh forced into. courage was I maybe I was I think you. know my my I have a stepdad who was was. a a a a great Champion Surfer and you.

know he always said that big Wave Riders. were born and not made that you were. born with that mechanism that you had it. in you and then it was just a matter of. if you were exposed to the situation to. to develop it so but I had a I had a a a. certain predisposition to doing things. courageously fearlessly like I was I. would always just jump off High stuff. and and wanted to go fast in vehicles.

and just you know just always was always. wanted to be on that that you know edge. of of uh destruction I think I would. call it you know that's that's. interesting I wasn't expecting I wasn't. expecting that we're going to dive into. we are going to dive into that and uh. peel those layers back and and uh about. your childhood and I think that's going. to help a lot of people but before we. get too deep. everybody on the show always gets a gift.

okay you got any. guesses uh I'm hoping it's something. that I really like all right well maybe. you've heard of this company I don't. know but okay it's called Uh I. recogniz I recognize the name so yeah. open that up thank you yeah I'm excited. to see what we got I love these products. I just I'm hoping that uh that you like. them too okay I like it I like the cup I.

love the greens But Here We Go. performance mushroom that's my favorite. my favorite is that your favorite too. well it's yeah because of the you know. there's some things that taste better. and there's some things that but but. it's going to be hard to beat the value. of what this has and I don't know like. first of all you know what chaga is the. king of all the mushrooms like that's. the Apex and the benefits that that. mushroom itself has on the body is the.

list is too long like it's a and they. say they found spores of of of chaga. spores in the stratosphere interesting I. don't know what they'd be doing in the. stratosphere but it only most of it's. found grown in the uh like within the. Arctic Circle and stuff and it's the. only uh mushroom that actually grows. symbiotically with the tree it's not. feeding off of it so normally you know. mushrooms and stuff are feeding off of. it so and of course oh you is this a. sign sleep and recover this is yeah.

that's I just started taking that and I. love that stuff that stuff is amazing. yeah and um yeah you know you know what. I. really like about the products is that. it's they're the cleanest products you. can get and I like that everything is. sourced not everything but everything as. much as possible seems to be sourc here. in the US and the only time ingredients. are Source outside of the us as if they.

are higher quality ingredients and um. you guys are just doing it right and uh. well if we had more coconut trees in. America I would be that would be I would. definitely I mean we're trying to grow. coconuts in Hawaii but the volume that. you need I mean the truth is is that I. know the I mean first of all you and I. are we working together which I'm very. honored to you know I feel. like I I have a theory that I told Gabby. one time it's called the the honey line. which is when you find a bee you follow.

another bee and then eventually you get. to where all the bees are and you get to. where the honey is and so if you follow. a wasp you get to the wasp nest so but. the honey line just talks about how that. you can get pulled together and so. there's a reason why you and I have been. pulled together I'm not I'm not. completely aware of the of all of the. means of the things that happen uh. there's a reason why you are you have. been chosen to do what you're doing. given what you've done and what you're. doing now uh and and I feel like that's.

I feel a. similar uh a similar experience of that. in my life like there's certain things. that you just kind of you're you're led. to and you you like to say it's because. you're so smart you know everybody oh. yeah it's because I'm so smart and tent. no it's not you're not that smart so. don't give yourself that much. credit yeah because then pride comes and. you know what do they say great pride. proceedeth a great fall so hold back a. little bit but but this stuff is is I. mean we work hard we fight to keep the.

quality of the ingredients and to make. it simple it just to make it not be so. complicated I think you can you can in a. way Nature has Prov provides us we just. need to understand better what's in. nature for us we've lost a lot of that. skill yes we have we've lost that skill. but it you intuitively sense when you. eat good things that are good for you. your body before you know it you're like. oh you know what I need that stuff like. I like I and it's it's not on the.

negative side is hey I eat a bunch of. sugar I need more sugar I eat a bunch of. garbage I need more garbage so you have. both but the but you have a mechanism. that tells you and it's good and so. we're just trying to do that that's what. I mean I the truth is is that I make. this up for me yeah like that's what I'm. doing I'm make I I you know I just I. need to make a company so they can ship. it to. me well I love the stuff and and um well. thank you I appreciate this come in come. in handy yeah but um before we move on I.

just I wanted to thank you for allowing. me to be a part of it I'm I'm honored uh. to be part of your Venture and and and. the products are amazing and it's I mean. I'm always looking for the best quality. and uh and you're it so thank you you. and you also have a a I think a. responsibility but you also have an. opportunity to really. help you know you help help people I.

mean you have a you have people that are. listening and watching and learning and. and so and I and I feel the same way if. you're in a position that you can have. influence of any kind you you you have a. responsibility and I mean you see that. people don't always take. that responsibility correctly like they. have a you have an influence you have a. responsibility and then what do you do. with it and so I think that that for me. I I feel like sometimes it's no choice. it's like you you have no choice to.

conduct yourself a certain way to do a. certain thing that I mean and if if if. parenting doesn't teach you that I mean. you can avoid it until you get to become. a parent and then all of a sudden it's. like it's a little it's unavoidable. because it's in your house in your bed. it's in it's every day so you if it's. outside sometimes you can kind of. pretend to ignore it but when it moves. into the house yeah that's a reminder. man I got to tell you that's just that. that is so refreshing to hear you say.

that because there's so many people that. don't and I that don't take that don't. take the responsibility of the influence. that they have seriously you know and. and I take that extremely seriously with. with with any products that I am. endorsing yeah and I also take it very. seriously with the interviews I mean. I've had interviews that I that I will. not release yeah because I don't know if. everything in there is factual and and.

and there have been other interviews. that I've done where I'm not sure if. it's factual but it's not going to. affect somebody's decision-making. process you know and so they can take. that information they can believe it. they canot believe it but at the end of. the day it's not going to affect. anybody's decision-making but when you. get into medical stuff and and and. endorsements and and and and just. information you know whether you're. digging into corruption or or or it's or. it's medical advice or whatever that's.

on here it all has to check out because. if it's going to influence somebody's. decision and I'm influencing them to. make the wrong decision for a paycheck. then I I couldn't live with myself and. so it's it's man it's just great to hear. that you know cuz you don't hear that. very often you know and well I I. appreciate that I mean I I in my because. of the nature of my work you know my. career has been something where I've had.

to survive you know with sponsors and. getting people to support you and. sometimes to get people to support you. and as something as obscure as you know. riding giant waves or some. Innovation you know I think this I think. the key is the sincerity I think that. that at the end that people can smell it. they can sense it and sometimes it's. almost it's an invisible thing but. they're like oh I don't know what it is. but I you know I lean to this it's like. and so I think that that's a a and I.

think you're I think you know your. sincerity and your I mean that's what's. you know what creating the you know. creating the movement that you have is. is that that genuine and again back to. that obligation back to that. responsibility it's like you see it all. the time especially in sports or in. entertainment you see people have be of. influence and then they're just you know. they're just looking for the dough. they're looking for the money at the. cost of you know and that stuff comes.

and goes you're going to but the but the. the effects don't yeah Integrity exactly. your integrity yeah it's hard to get get. that back y y a lot of people don't but. um before we start I wanted to bring. up the Maui wildfires I mean you grew up. in Hawaii yeah you spent a lot of time. there still it's been a tremendous part. of your life obviously within the. surfing Community your childhood. everything did those fires affect.

you well I mean I I knew people that. were in them that died and and I have. friends that have been dealing with with. the aftermath of dealing with the you. know the devastation I mean you know. I've been in big fires I was in a Malibu. fire that was the largest fire that hit. hit but we didn't have the death I. wasn't in the lahina fire but the death. that happened in that fire and for. people the exposure to the death and.

then all the friends and family and you. know and the and the destructiveness of. that of that I. mean you know when you're looking for. people's bodies that just have vanished. like they vaporize there there's it it. and there's then there's that you know. the questions aren't answer you don't. have I mean I I think that the level of. uh of pain the the hurt that that that. that fire created I mean. okay houses buildings cool you can.

rebuild you know make new things but. people and and kids and you know just. that stuff that's that's a different. those are different animals those are. that's a different kind of thing that. that that you personally unless you've. experienced it can't even begin to. understand and so I have a lot of. friends over there that have been. dealing with the the aftermath of of. that and then just trying to you know. the upheaval of the community and you. you know when I think when people lose. their dwellings and lose their homes and.

lose that their foundations especially. if they've never moved and never you. know it's the only house they've ever. had and then it's gone and then all of a. sudden your family's gone and I mean you. know I I don't I don't know if they're I. don't think there are words for that. that stuff yeah I mean the the amount of. displaced families and the loss and and. and just the the the tragedy and I mean. it's going to it's. people's their life course is complet. completely changed you know no matter.

what trajectory they were on now it's a. completely different trajectory and um. you know it would be man I feel like you. know they. didn't I wish the government would have. stepped in and sent some more Aid you. know I mean we send Aid all over the. world except except to ourselves and um. and anyways without getting hard to. believe actually hard to believe hard to. believe and when I heard I mean we heard. things like. $700 like they're going to give somebody.

I mean that that's it's it's almost. worse than giving nothing like dis it's. like $700 like 7 I mean have you ever. been to Hawaii it's the most expensive. place in the world to live you can't. even get a you can barely get a hotel. room for a night for $700 so I mean. that's that's you know that's the it'll. be interesting to see what kind of I. mean and this is a a long-term thing. right it's like the the aftermath of the. of the of the the mental. going through the the that fire the like.

what how that comes out in the year the. two the three the four and then the. rebuild now already you know people have. kind of they've lost some of the. momentum of the support because it's now. it's out of sight and we have so many. things going on in the world that are. distracting us that we're not even. thinking about it and meanwhile I mean. it could be 5 years before somebody even. gets to see a house that they had that. burned to the ground that every single. Poss possession that they have that they. still probably owe a mortgage to that.

they still you know like hey you owe. this mortgage and but you don't even. have a house like you don't even you. know like you don't have a car you don't. have I mean it's you don't have an. income you don't have a job you don't. have so it's pretty I mean I I you know. um the only fortune that you that you. have is that the community in Hawaii is. so strong when it comes down to it uh. and I've experienced uh some some other. hurricanes and floods and stuff and the. way the community pulls together and the.

way that they take care of each other. there it's it's it's it's all inspiring. like if you when you see that it gives. you. hope for the human being that you see. the in there in the essence of what's. made us great as a you know the. greatness of humans I mean you. definitely can see the the the lack of. greatness when you look around but but. the but when you see the way the. community pulled together and what they. did the way they responded by the time. the the so-called uh disaster relief.

group gets in and unloads their planes. everybody's already clothed and fed and. housed and I mean pretty much it's like. you know what a great example you know. in the face a tragedy for the rest of. the world to see I you know every time I. get a little discouraged especially with. all that's go been going on and going on. I managed to just I keep running. into a smiling face somebody out out a. somewhere and it get continues to cuz.

you can be I mean if you spend any time. on that device and you're not going the. right direction you can be pretty. discouraged given everything that's. happened and is happening uh and could. happen all that stuff that your brain. runs and so I am encouraged that there. are there's there's good people and. there's a lot more of us than people. realize a lot more you have a lot more. brothers and sisters than you realize. they there and they they're they're.

maybe just a little more quiet but it's. you know it it's it's something that. that quietness but also speaks to that. that endurance you know the the the guy. that runs far doesn't run real fast but. he's just steady so it's that that. steady that steady uh that I I I have. hopes you know for is that just that. reliability and that. steadiness there's a lot more good. people in the world than it seems than.

the media makes it seem than social. media makes it seem it seems like. everybody's divided but really I think. we're all a lot closer together than. what's being projected uh through media. they got to keep us got to keep us uh. you know at each other's throat so we. keep us distracted because if we're all. together it might be a little too big a. force yeah is too big of force. unfortunately for them it seems like. people are starting to come together. yeah and uh slowly but surely yeah but.

um but anyways let's move into you so I. want to cover I want to cover your. childhood get into your surfing career. and then get into some biohacking stuff. cuz I am just fascinated uh with that. and I know you are you're an expert on. it but um but reason I want to dig into. your childhood and we already I mean. they just got a small glimpse but you. know there's a lot of kids you know. through throughout the world who are. struggling and I know you didn't have.

the you had a tough upbringing you know. and and and and to see where you've come. you know in life and from where you've. come is I mean it's inspiring a lot of. people can relate to that and I and I. don't think I know it's going to bring a. lot of Hope um to kids out there who who. who aren't in the greatest situation and. uh and that's why I like to cover this. so. let's go right into it you know um where.

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to make the switch and you'll save an. additional 50% off your first month. that's Pur talk.com ran to start savings. on wireless. now well I was born I was born in San. Francisco uh my mother was from Southern. California and. uh like fell in love with her high. school sweetheart um they were the Z's. in the class I think it was still you.

have home room and they were you know. ABC and she was in uh her last name was. uh zy and his last name was zerus so. they were like two Z's and but she my. mom uh was got pregnant very at 20 19 or. 20 years old and uh it was obviously the. early 60s and um my my uh blood father. wanted to be Merchant Marine and so he. just kind of split from her and that.

forced her to kind of have to figure out. how to deal with you know having you. know having me and being on her own and. she went to San Francisco and and uh I. think there was an opportunity to to do. there was some study they were doing at. the University of San Francisco around. pregnancy and they had some weird like. vacuum they put on the stomach for the. last trimester um of the of the. pregnancy and then in return she would.

get free um you know free be able to get. kind of have me for free uh at the. hospital and I think she was working. until the very last up there she had. worked on the fairgrounds and whatever. she could do to survive and then and. then uh had uh I was born in San. Francisco um she had some friends uh. that and I don't know if it was a. boyfriend or a friend of hers that that. you know the 60s were happening and I.

think it was Vietnam and there was there. was a lot of stuff going on and there. was a little bit of like the hippies and. the you know rebel against this you know. like the the structure of you know 8 to5. and do the thing and just like the whole. kind of so Hawaii was a you know for. southern californi or people that were. surfing because there was a surf culture. that started that was kind of out of. rebellion so Hawaii represented like. this Paradise like coconut trees and.

rainbows and like this place to escape. the rat race you know cuz they. considered what was going on the rat. race and so uh she took me as a as a. baby I was like a couple months old uh. and then took me to to Hawaii and I got. exposed to I you know I was we moved to. I think we moved to Lina actually the. place that burned down and so I lived in. Lina which was a defunct whale uh. wailing town or not I should say they.

said Capital but it it was a wailing it. was the Wailing Hub of Hawaii at the for. a long time and then it and then um and. then eventually it kind of disappeared. there was only a couple little stores. there and so I kind of you know year two. years old I got exposed to my mom's. boyfriend used to push me um on the. little waves I think when I was 2 or 3. years old I had I fell on urchins and. had both butt cheeks so impaled I. couldn't sit down for a long time um but.

they would just push me on waves and my. mom said I could probably swim before I. could walk I crawled I used to crawl to. the pool and just go in the pool and. swim so I swam like at a crazy young um. young age and my mom's friends were surf. Surfer like Surf filmmakers and Surfers. cuz she was around uh gigit and there. was like the famous surfing Hollywood. surfing movies and so she knew the. actual. and some of these other girls that were. Surfers Linda Benson and some famous.

girl surfers were her friends she surfed. when she was in high school but but when. she got pregnant and started to work and. she didn't she had to take care of. obviously of me uh and then so I got. brought to Hawaii as an infant um and. and I wasn't born in Hawaii which kind. of worked against me um even though I'd. been there since I was in my diapers it. didn't matter like I I you know 3 months. 6 months a year year old like you know. but when you're not born there um that.

sets the precedent already you're not. born there and then you're and then. you're um then you're the wrong color so. then you're all of a sudden you're not. born there and you you know you look. like a maybe a descendant of uh you know. Captain Cook or something so that's not. a great scenario set you up sets you up. for some for the grind you know it sets. you up for the for the uh for the. attention and uh and so that's the. that's kind of the beginning right so. the beginning is that and then we moved. to another Island so we we went from.

being on Maui to moving to uh aahu which. is the main island where like Pearl. Harbor is and and and the majority of. the of the population it's the state. capital and we happen to move and I was. I don't know if when I was like three or. four we moved to um what is at the time. was considered the most dangerous beach. in the world it's called the Bonsai. pipeline and it's it's a world famous. Beach it's where Surfers at the time.

from all over the world would come to uh. to. uh you know to challenge like it was a. challenge place like it was you you. think you're a good Surfer you come and. surf Pipeline and pipeline was a was a. was the most danger it's one of the one. of the most dangerous beaches in the. world for absolutely and so I kind of. began my my and some of this is I'm. putting together pieces from my mom's.

you know and from my mom's since past. but um from just what I know and what. cuz obviously when you're a little that. young you're not remembering but but I'm. remembering you know that I would uh so. we lived at a house and so then my mom. uh we lived at a house that uh was right. at this beach and so all the Surfers. that would go to this wave to challenge. would walk through our yard and so I was. a young young male watching all these.

handsome. studly young guys come to challenge you. know Hawaii first of all one of the you. know Premier places to surf in the world. it's surfing is from Hawaii it's a poian. sport developed by the Hawaiians that. were some of the greatest Navigators in. the world and uh and so if not the. greatest Navigators in the world before. longitude and latitude they were sailing. all around the world by the stars and. stuff they could they had some crazy.

techniques that they they they learned. about being able to navigate the oceans. so interesting that's where surfing. comes out of that culture right so then. that's the culture of Hawaii so the. ocean is all it's all about the ocean. it's all about your skill in the ocean. your ability to fish and be in giant. waves and sail and dive and I mean this. is just that's what you do when you're. there cuz it's not only is it. Transportation but it's subsidence it's. it's everything makes a lot of sense. yeah and so I'm at that beach craziest.

beach in the world all the studiest guys. are walking through my front yard I'm. watching them I'm like I want to be like. that when I grow up um. I see a guy at the beach that I. think was what my dad should look like I. don't have a dad I need a dad so I'm. like that guy looks like a be good dad. and I think maybe I I get credit for it. but I think my mom and him already knew. each other but I introduced him uh I. think he knew my mom and so but he so he.

kind of befriended me at the beach. knowing that he might take me home I'm. not sure which one but I introduced him. uh to my mom and and he ended up. marrying my mom and so that ended up. becoming my my father that I didn't have. and so uh and that was the beginning of. I mean that was the you know beginning. of a step having a father was about 5. years old so five at 5 years old um so 5. years old you met the this what's his. name Bill Hamilton Bill Hamilton you met.

Bill yes at 5 years old on the beach and. said I want you to be my dad I want to. introduce you to my mother yes sir what. I mean do you remember. this I mean I remember it because I've. told it so many times and but yeah I. mean I remember like. him I'm being like I used to get I used. to get uh rescued a lot I would get. sucked out to see like in the current. cuz I would play the beach and the waves. would come and take me and then suck me. out and then the lifeguards would have.

to rescue me and then he would rescue me. so I was rescued constantly um and I. just remember you know having him rescue. me and then holding on to him and having. him pull me in and then eventually he. took me on waves and I would ride his. back and that was probably before I was. five but when he married my mom when I. was five um prob maybe the year before. or something like that so that was the. that was the kind of the foundation of. my. water uh you know and then he set up a. uh at one point I was getting taken out.

so often um that the lifeguards would go. to my house and tell my mom hey lared is. in the out to seea again and we've. rescued him twice today and we just we. can't you know we can't keep rescued can. you just keep him and my mom my mom. would be like no no L's in his room he's. dapping and then they'd be like no he's. not he's out there right now and then. she'd look and I would have crawled out. my window onto like a limb of a banon. tree and climbed and got you know and. went and went and got out in the ocean. so I was I was you know I was so you.

were inseparable at 5 Beyond it was it. was it was I think I contributed to my. mom's early passing to just because of. between my brother and I and maybe a. couple of the men she raised but I think. that we were you know I think my my for. my mom I was like oh my she was like my. God you know thank God you made it to 12. and then it was like oh my God it's a. miracle you made it to 14 then it was. like like oh my you made it to 16 you. know cuzz I think I just was like it was.

just every day every I mean which thing. which Stitch which injury which TR you. know it was just. that's kind of what the toy was let's um. wound up let's let's backtrack a little. bit to before bill yeah and uh you had. mentioned at the beginning yeah about we. were talking about addiction to. Adrenaline and you think that maybe that. started at a at a a extremely young age. so let's talk about what the home life.

was like yeah pre- Bill well there's. some stories of me attacking like the. one of my mom's boyfriends or one of. somebody she was going out with was like. slapping her around or did something to. her and I and I I would attack him like. I'd be like two two three two year-old. little tiny you know. man attack like I would just attack the. leg and get put you know know pushed. away but I think I I my my my courage my.

my ability to not be scared and like go. at stuff I would just go at you know I. would go at a I would go at an adult as. a little child like I didn't I didn't. really it wasn't like I was like I. didn't that didn't I was going to go. protect my mom and I think I had that in. me you know I mean that was in me that. was in me when I was three two three. four whatever that was in me like that. was that was my. that so I think that and again I don't. know if that came along with that.

Fearless kind of you know little. Daredevil like I'm going to jump off the. you know I mean I just always had. something. some jump off you know speed take the. wagon down the. hill hit the jump with the bike into the. trees and I mean I just always just had. that stuff and but I definitely was like. I'd put my down you know like the. stories were that I just put my head. down and I would just charge them I.

would charge adults as a little kid and. and I I don't think it's a coincidence I. mean there's all kinds of studies that's. that that show how personalities and and. and and personality traits are developed. that they start developing immediately. yeah probably Insight but yeah and um. and and and you were forced to learn how. to overcome fear a very young age out of. necessity you know I think that's attack.

attack the adult cuz he's he's hurting. your mom like so are you close with your. mom were you close with your mother yeah. crazy close yeah I mean my mom I did. weird stuff I would undo all the I would. undo the stuff in my crib and get out. like she'd have to keep me in a crib. when I was young and I would undo the I. would figure out how to undo and I'd be. down the street she said it was like. like I just think for her it was just. you know I mean she was already I don't. know know what I think it was just like. you know here's your here's your new.

wild animal raise. it but we know the development right we. know that that's that Foundation stuff. is I mean by the time you're four it's. probably pretty cemented in at least. that stuff so I I I had that and then. when bill came along he would say oh. yeah I took you up to Y ma Falls like. some big 50 foot whatever and he said. six years old you just get back and run. and jump off and they'd be like you know. and the guys were all you know freaking. out so I already had that kind of.

disposition I had that that that thing. in me that that you know that I think. serve me well but I think it's you know. it's also how do you constructively vent. that too cuz you can you can just put. that in any genre you can put that kind. of radical charge do anything into any. category and you're you know where do. you go yeah yeah. how was life after Bill came in to the.

family initially I mean first of all. bill was young younger than my mom the. fact that he took on me either meant my. mom was really you know beautiful or or. or but he was willing to take that on I. think that was a big. responsibility um he was 17 at the time. correct yeah something like that yeah. when he first started so um and then by. the time you know and then my brother. came and I think that and and also my.

mom wanted different things than bill I. think Bill wanted to just you know Surf. and hang out and not you know and my mom. was like hey I need a house I need we. know I'm not going to get food stamps. I'm not going to I'm not GNA like live. on the Dole I'm not going to just live. and I'm not going to do that and I think. that's when their thing started to to. you know bill was. a more like a big brother was like a big. brother and then and then my brother.

came along and I I think that that that. uh for me that was more difficult. because then all of a sudden my brother. was the real son and I wasn't the real. son I was so that kind of created um. which had his pros and cons you know. when things were good it it was like. well I'm not I'm not related so I kind. of have a disclaimer but then when they. were bad then I'm not related and have. just you know it's like so that I had. both sides of it. uh but and like I said him being young.

and then my mom being young and just the. difficulty of all of it and people. wanting different things and and and you. know earning a living in Hawaii it was. wasn't a lot of choice it wasn't like. there was a all these. opportunities uh we moved so we moved. from that. Beach uh you know on on aahu. to the Garden Island which is called. Hawaii and we moved into a remote Valley. um which was probably the only house.

that we could rent for you know $100 a. month or something in the house that we. moved into from there when I was six I. would think and my brother was just. coming um or he my brother had already. come out and so I was six or six like. first grade or something like that. starting my you know starting school had. been moved a bunch of times by tidal. waves and it was on the hill it was like. the highest house in the area and and. and it was just a bare tin uh a bare tin. roof with screen Windows and I think we.

had an ouse in cold water for a while uh. you know I used to have to go on the. roof and try to Tar when I got older tar. the holes and and uh if it rained real. hard at one point I think it was a big. it was a big thing we got a you know. some kind of crappy TV with antennas we. put tin foil on them and you couldn't. hear with the rain came you couldn't. even you couldn't hear the TV if no. matter how much you turned it up so but. but the Valley we moved into was full of. uh full of a just a bunch of different.

uh a bunch of different well there was. Hawaiian families there was Japanese. families there was all different but we. were the only pretty much the only white. family there might have been one or two. other uh white white people yeah and so. that that and then we were in the middle. kind of of of a the house that we rented. uh from the old man that lived there was. a Hawaiian Chinese guy and he had all. these you know he was it was like in the. middle of a compound you're like a.

little bit of a you know you're in the. compound but you're the only white. whites in the in the compound and you. know I. mean the so that's where so we go and. we're remote like we're we're down a. little dirt road down another dirt road. down another dirt road like kind of like. in the Boon so back in the jungle in the. jungle and and the law of the Jungle. we're in the law we're we're in the law. of the Jungle there there is the law is. the jungle uh I mean from what I.

understand I don't know if it's still. like this but from what I understand. Hawaii is very the people of Hawaii are. very. territorial yeah is that would that be. the correct term yeah yeah well and and. there's a there's a unique thing going. on which is there. are a lot of different cultures right so. you have Filipinos you have Japanese you. have Chinese you have. Portuguese and then you have Hawaiians.

and then you have combinations of all. those and then you have Caucasians right. and so. uh you and within that you have also you. have an interesting thing which and I. never I mean I learned it from growing. up in it but I always could wonder how. could somebody have so much hate for me. that I never did anything to make them. hate and they never had anything really. done them to them that make them hate. but they were actually it was it was.

perpetuated hate like it was passed down. like you realize oh you saw a guy that. had a lot of hate and you're were like. oh my God I met the dad the dad has even. more hate like they just yeah they just. pass they so some of that that hatred or. that Envy or some of that stuff was. passed down um just like kindness and. and you know Beauty and those are that's. passed down too right so you have so. some of the stuff was passed down and. and and I also saw uh experienced uh.

that that's that you could that some. culture some people or even cultures. were taking on the the the the the. suppression or the or the or the things. that happened to another culture it. wasn't even theirs but they but they. inherited it you know so you could have. a you could have a migrant worker that. moved to some place that took on the. burdens of the native people because. they either well either they got they.

were got part of it you know you could. be 1% Hawaiian and you know 100 99%. something one other Filipino Japanese. Chinese Portuguese mixure but you would. take on that you were like a you know. you were a Hawaiian that had been that. had been suppressed kind of thing but. you were but you weren't really but you. had so there was all that all and. everything in between and so uh you know. I used to like so then so then I lived. in that environment and which which just.

infused me right into an opportunity to. be like we lived next to a pig farm uh. we we fished like I learned how to fish. and dive with the Hawaiians and and and. and farm and kill pigs and clean and. cook pigs in the ground and dry fish and. that thing I so culturally like for me. what the school I went to was was that. was that out of necessity or was was. that. you.

immersing out of necessity with my. desire to immerse okay so it wasn't that. we couldn't eat and we had to do the. thing but but it was that's what was. happening that's where you were you were. you that's you were in a place that this. is what was going on you live next to a. pig farm and then you're like you look. over there and there's pigs and every. all the boys are over there you're like. hey let me go see what's going on over. there and you all of a sudden you're in. it and you're learning about it you're. doing all that oh hey they're fishing. I'm going to go down there and help and. you know you just become immersed in the. in the in the in the in the environment.

as a as a you know as part of survival. part of us like that's what you're doing. there's no so uh so I had that thing. which was beyond and I wouldn't change. one of things that ever happened to me. not one single moment because it would. make it that I wouldn't be here now I. wouldn't have the family I have I. wouldn't uh I mean there I could say hey. I wish I wouldn't have done that wish. but at the end of day not at the cost of. of not arriving here today so I wouldn't. change it even though during it it's not.

fun and it wasn't great and I didn't. love it but you know there's a couple I. mean there's so many lessons and so many. things that made me different like I. would go to you know I would go to. California coming from that environment. and being you know I had giant I had. some of the biggest Hawaiian friends. ever that were my protectors so like at. high school if I got in a fight the guy. would just come and make sure it was. like you know even odds and stuff and. just stuff that that I mean I had some. be like the lessons the relationships. the food the the learn things I learned.

how to do I mean we you know Gabby would. always ask me well how do you know how. to fix that and do that I go well. because there was no fix it guy like if. you had a broken bike you learned how to. fix the bike if you had a thing you. fixed the thing you fix the electric you. fix the plumbing you fix whatever you. otherwise you don't have it so you learn. how to you learn how to how to fix it. and so there's stuff that I would never. change and it's made me that's what's. made me so different like in my Approach. and how I look at things what I've done. because I wasn't raised in you know.

Southern California and I didn't wasn't. you know playing football at homecoming. and I didn't have any of that stuff I. had quite the contrary like you didn't. go to homecoming and you couldn't really. have a girlfriend because the you know. cuz the brothers wouldn't let you be. with the you know them even if they. liked you and you like them it was that. was a no no it was like so we had all. that stuff that that in a way. you know I mean and I had. Bill the lessons I learned from him.

about you know being a man about facing. up when you're I mean things that that. you know unfortunately sometimes as a. parent you know the lessons you know the. lessons you learn of how not to be. sometimes are greater than how to be. like I could look and be like I'm not. going to do that like I don't want to do. that like I don't respect that I I'm not. going to be that guy I'm going to be. this guy right so sometimes those those. are more impactful I think the because. it's the. negative the negative stuff has uh more.

power over us because we want to avoid. it where the positive stuff has less. power because it seems like if we've. already done it we already know how we. don't need to remember but we're not cuz. we're not trying to avoid it so you know. it's that good news bad news you know. travel bad news travels a lot quicker. and you tell a lot more people for a. reason because you you know so but you. know being being standing up for myself. uh I mean bill I was I mean there was a.

bunch of things but Bill was was crazy. he was a crazy guy like um like like I. like I'll give you an example one time I. was surfing uh and there was I had a. situation with a local guy and and he. he was going to he was trying to he was. going to do something me I was younger. kid and he was adult. and so I told I told uh I told Bill and. Bill was out and and then he went over.

and told the guy like you know like hey. and then they surrounded him with a the. a group of guys surrounded Bill and and. bill was like well who's the first guy. that's going to. drown which one of. you cuz I might drown but I'm going to. drown somebody first maybe two maybe. three of you and he and they looked at. him and they. went okay he's serious like. Hamilton serious and they just would. part and go away and so in a way I. always you know it's interesting the the.

crazy dog is the one people fear you can. be not even that vicious not even that. big and strong but he's you just looking. oh that's a crazy dog you better stay. away from him cuz he's you don't know. what he's going to do you just don't. know what he's going to do right so I. think I I think that that his that saved. us a little bit and he wasn't acting he. was for real and. so. that that kind of I think that also I.

looked at that that kind of little bit. of that craziness that that having that. temper and having that kind of incont. controllability like that I I felt that. that was a that was a little bit of a. weakness in my mind and so I think I use. that as something to to cuz I like we. all do have tempers and have a thing but. I I I always thought I I I came to. realize that that was something that was. was something that uh that was a. vulnerability and that if actually you.

could keep your self really centered and. be the more chaotic they got and the. more radical stuff got the more you were. able to to Center and be aware and be. the better and more effective you are. and and that ended up helping me like. that's helped me throughout my whole. life and especially in heavy situations. no matter what they are didn't matter. what what it was I'm just not good in. this Gabby always laughs she says you're. just terrible in the dayto day like the. day-to-day Manan just like a here we go.

again it's just like the man you know. like if it's all a a wreck and you know. everything's on fire I'm I'm. just yeah I feel like hey I'm I got a. real purpose I there's a reason for me. to be here the rest of the time I'm just. like what's you know here we go what are. we doing that's home for you chaos is. home yeah yeah and it started in the. ocean it was on land it's been it's it. was everywhere and so I feel like I and. I have to seek it out I have to be. careful cuz sometimes you ask for it and.

then you get it in a way like I was one. few years ago I was like I need some. chaos and then I was like all of a. sudden you're in a giant fire I'm like. well maybe not this chaos and then. you're like hey I need some chaos and. there's a huge hurricane you're like oh. maybe not that chaos you know it's like. I need like more Controlled Chaos like. in the bottom of my swimming pool with a. dumbbell or you know or or an a giant. wave where I I have you know a little. more experience but the uh it's it's. interesting how humans will recreate. where they're comfortable and if you're. if you're comfortable and stress and.

chaos and everything feels like it's. falling apart you you will recreate that. exact scenario over and over throughout. your life because that's where you feel. at home yeah and uh I can relate to that. yeah I well now I just now so now I I. I'm try to do that with real like let. the environment do it have it be. controlled like whether it's in maybe. it's chaotic a little bit in your super. hot super cold you know got to hold my. breath I'm underwater like that so. there's some stress stuff that we can do.

kind of in in a in a in a in a in a. little bit of a controlled environment. that makes it more constructive and and. less destructive and and more you know. like a like you you uh but and then and. then also have it be something that uh. that there's only the positive can come. out of it because a lot of times those. chaotic situations that the aftermath is. there's damage everywhere and let's not. let's try to avoid that so you've been.

you know it's like you go through that. but uh but the ocean is a provider of. that situation it can it's it's ready. and available and willing at any moment. you want to go get yourself into. something a little bit grabby it's there. she's just ready and willing and you. know. is she's she's she she's ready and. willing for you anytime but that but so. that's like like that's my you know. that's my uh upbringing my high school.

is crazy um you know there used to be a. thing called kill howy day that was the. last day of school so it was like they. kill white people pretty much it was. kill howy is a white guy so kill Holly. day was last day of school they like oh. do you have kill holly Day at my school. I go yeah I go there and kill Holly. so so you know but the reason why the. last day of school was that was kill hly. day was because. you couldn't get. suspended CU it was already summer so.

but you know I went to a I mean I had a. bunch of uh my school was really a giant. school we had a bunch of kids uh like. 2500 kids I think at one point it might. have been you know third or fourth of. the nation for crime and violence like. we had like a crazy like he still lay. the Bronx and then some my like my. school had you know knife and shoot and. you know just crazy 40 in a class and. one you know and then 7th through 12th. Al together some CRA and then I had to.

ride a bus for like 2 hours to get there. it was just a disaster so I was just. like this schooling thing this sucks uh. I end I ended up uh eventually having my. mom sign me out my mom signed me out of. school cuz I just wasn't going to go and. I went to work so I went in 11th grade. she was like she because she was a. single parent at the time she was able. to somehow get me and it just wasn't. there was nothing good about it uh so. did Bill did Bill stick around no my my. mom and dad uh they they they parted.

ways probably when I was 12 something. like that 12 or 13 so or or no they were. no I'm sorry I was a little older than. that but by then I had already they were. kind of uh off and on and I had already. like by the time I was 16 I was already. kind of out the door I had I had. opportunities to go and try to just you. know go be somewhere else and and and uh. which which and my brother didn't he was. he was he was there but my mom but then.

they EV they were they were they were. broken apart and later my mom got a. really had a really nice uh a nice guy. for the last about 18 years of her life. before she passed away but she ended up. starting a helicopter company it was a. first Tour company in the state and then. built you know built a house and like. she my mom was my mom was an animal my. mom my mom was an animal like her work. ethic and her my mom was a was a was a. you know I mean my mom read the book the.

wall that of book she read my mom would. read a novel like just a big thick book. in a weekend like she'd start on Friday. and just read like profuse reader amaz. you know just a a smart um a smart lady. and and and and you know I one of the. things that she did for me as a young. boy uh was develop my imagination so my. my mom used to read me and I think. that's probably why I started other than. I had some educational issues but with.

reading. um they messed me up one of the programs. definitely messed me up but then my mom. would read to me so I really had no. reason to read but she read me like the. Lord of the Rings the entire Trilogy. when I was really young she read me Dune. she read me you know Jonathan Livingston. she read me all these crazy crazy books. growing up uh that really kind of open. my my imagination wow uh which you know.

which I think had a really profound. effect on on me later on just in my. creativity and and and all of that are. you still do you still are you and Bill. still close I I try to to to you know be. close to him but it it's I don't think. he really wants to be close I I think. part of his upbringing and and his thing. about intimacy I think it's I think it's. hard for him to you know and and and.

maybe we're like I'm a reminder I have. daughters that he's getting older and he. maybe I think I think part of his thing. he still wants to be you know a young. handsome s surf guy and and I don't know. if that comes from not being fulfilled. maybe as a as you know not getting. everything out of it that he wanted or. could have or I I I'm not sure I sure uh. I just know I she has granddaughters and.

you know and like what you realize uh is. that you it's your responsibility to. develop the relationship if you wanted a. relationship with your granddaughters. then you got to have a relationship you. got to go and take you got to make the. effort like put the time in yeah you. know and I I I seek I um when I was 21 I. I found my real dad and uh I I found him. and. really hold on what what triggered that. I mean obviously you want to meet your. real dad but what why at 21 what.

happened that just I think at that point. I I was. in uh I was in California I had uh some. connections that might have known where. he was or something like that I was just. interested in you know meeting my my. biological father I just wanted to to to. have that I just had the Curiosity it. was like a a weird thing inside like. curiosity like hey and so I found him. were you worried was there any was there.

any. fear in finding and meeting your. biological father maybe may maybe maybe. maybe maybe maybe uh maybe a a little. little bit like maybe a. little a little a little you know I. think it's unknown I think the unknown. like how are you going. to how are you going to respond like hey. where were you why come you didn't do. anything why you didn't help Mom you. know like all those things I think you. know you have.

a I I feel like I was. curious to meet him in the and like I. wanted to know like why he wasn't didn't. participate wasn't interested like if he. wasn't was he was he was he you know was. he wasn't he interested like maybe he. was but my mom was like in Hawaii and. didn't make it so he could and you just. don't know it's it's a domestic right. and you so you don't but I had I had I. wanted to meet him I wanted to look at.

him and see him and and kind of answer. maybe some of those all those questions. that you have uh when you have somebody. kind of just that you're related to. that's your father birth I mean you that. that your blood related to and I went. and had a uh met him at a like a cafe. and sat down and had a had a breakfast. with him and how did you find him I. threw some people that knew that knew. like somebody that my mom one of my.

mom's friends that had had you know that. had word and then I called and I'm like. okay well you know where is he and then. oh we heard he's here call so and so and. I just you know detective I just did my. detective thing and eventually he was I. I got him and I'm like hey it's l you. called him yeah what was the initial. conversation. like. you know I mean part of it I just block. out right so some of it was like there's.

a block out I think he was a little bit. like hey how's it you know how you how's. it how you doing or something like that. it was kind of you know was it was like. I mean how how awkward is it going to be. pretty much it's going to be awkward. like no matter what it's going to be. like hey where were you how come you. didn't well hey how's it going you know. it's like hey I'm 21 years old I'm a man. already you haven't even seen me for you. know ever. um maybe saw things of me or whatever. but but. uh but you know the truth is that once I.

had once I sat with him and had ate and. spent some. time I realized that that we didn't have. anything there was nothing we didn't. have any experiences yeah that we had. nothing like we didn't have any we. didn't go to the park we didn't go to a. movie we didn't so we had no experience. we had some similar first of all visual. traits like look like each other um. probably some behavioral stuff like some. of the issues that I that I've had to.

deal with were probably a gift from him. uh you know the uh but that really kind. of made it like oh no I'm good I'm okay. like cool okay you're good like I. answered that question I went I found I. saw I talked and I went and I'm I wasn't. ready at that time to go hey I want to. establish a relationship with you and. try to develop a thing I'm going like. that and you're over here and uh and so. that almost like made that good like I.

was I was I was good with that uh and in. a way kind of harsh I guess but I was. just it more like it was like an. answered it was like a a door that I. looked behind and went okay cool and. then you shut the door and I'm good and. so later on you know did did any of the. questions get answered like why he had. left. or you know uh I I think part of one of. the things that came out of it was that. maybe he wanted to go so my mom just. went and cut tie like she's like oh.

you're going to you're not going to. participate boom so it wasn't like you. know cuz I was always like well how come. he didn't send a thing or did he send a. card or didn't try to support you or. didn't thing like that and I'm like. maybe even if he had tried maybe she you. know again it's a domestic is between a. man and a woman and it's like and so I. think there's that which is like maybe. it wasn't just straight up like he just. went didn't care and didn't go like. didn't participate so part of part of it. was that but the other part was.

uh maybe he was incapable of it but I. realized that that we just had nothing. in common like other than maybe a couple. propensity to like you know have a bar. fight or something like you know like. like we just didn't have anything and so. I was good with that like I was good. with I was okay with with uh and and you. know in the conversation that we had. there were things that I could relate to. like that I was relating to traits that.

I was like oh I have potential to have. that trait or that trait or I see some. of my thing in here you know that I some. of the things that I have from him I. could see it other than not just. physical but you know because emotional. things are downloaded I mean we have. they say we have 14 generations of. trauma on our DNA I mean we you know you. can down a a a trait an emotion there's. no doubt that that stuff it's not just. physical people always oh they look like.

each other yeah know you download I mean. the. information's you know I don't think we. can even measure it but so I I I was I. was good like I I was good with it I. answered and I and fact and probably not. really that great of me but later on uh. years a few years later I guess he was. trying to reach out to me like on his. deathbed or whatever and I was like I. was like yeah okay cool yeah sorry you. know okay bye like but I didn't have any.

urge to like go there and be there and I. just didn't I didn't feel like that kind. of obligation and you know it made me. realize like how that's why adoption. works right that's why adoption is real. because when you take and you cherish. and you love and you experience that's. the connection that youve you build you. build through time through investment. you don't just you know you're not you. don't just get because you're related. you don't just get it you don't get it. it's you have to earn it like you earn.

the you earned this thing like you. earned it and so and I you know with. Bill I think with Bill I love Bill I. just him and our values are so different. that you know I and I and I'm I'm like. I'm focused on my you know my wife my. daughters my work my thing I like I just. feel like and and my brother and him are. are you know they have a have a a uh. they they now have a a relation a civil. relationship and I have a civil.

relationship with them and I realize. that maybe that's just all that they're. that we can do like that's the that that. the end all we can have is that that. that's the highest level that we can get. we can't get to anything beyond just. like a a. civil understanding relationship yeah. yeah it's and it's it's I mean you know. my I have a a great friend Mr Wildman. and I've had a more than one uh in my. life men that were that that were were.

my mentors but that I looked up to like. father or grandfather or you know those. kind of men that that represent you know. and then you don't need to be related. but you know he always used to say if. you want fair you go to the fairgrounds. you know like it's not fair like we're. not nothing fair about any of this stuff. it's not fair this doesn't so but yeah. the the it is it is it is you know I.

mean it's your it's your you want a. daughter you want a relationship with. your daughter you better have a. relationship with your daughter like you. know like you want a relationship with. your son you want a relationship with. your you got to put this is this is you. got to put the time in this this is a. this is a very interesting conversation. that I didn't plan on digging into but. when you met your father your biological. father I mean did you sense any any. guilt or. regret by him by him I don't know if he.

had that. capacity but he did reach out to you he. did reach out to you on his death bed. yeah he did on his death bed but a. little bit like now you want to now that. you're going to die yeah you're going to. put this on me now you now you want to. now you now that you're going to die now. you want to now you want to I mean I I. you know I appreciate it you know and. you know but but that was the next time. you heard from him you you met him at a. coffee shop and then didn't talk to him. again until hey I'm dying yeah what what.

did he what did he what do he say what. is what would he what did he say to you. on his deathbed I mean abandoned you as. a kid yeah met you once at a coffee shop. at age 21 how how much time had passed. between that and probably another 10 12. years something like that some decent. time for a decade later and the next. phone call is hey I'm dying yeah what I. mean how did that conversation go.

short you know not not not a lot to talk. about not like hey sorry about that you. know have a good well maybe I'll see you. there you know I mean yeah you know not. I mean it's in a way I guess there's a. harshness to that but it's it's it's you. know that's just that's the real that. was just the reality of it the reality. of of it was that there just wasn't I. didn't I didn't have a huge thing about. it no emotional connection no no because.

I didn't but because I because there. because there was. no I have friends that I have deep you. know that I mourn like I didn't I don't. I just didn't there I did it was almost. like barring a phone call a. breakfast that was about the extent of. the relationship I mean there's not a. lot there like it's you know minute 2. minutes I mean and and I and I think and. I don't know. if I part of it was and I and I and it.

may be because my mom was a little bit. as strained from her family and so we. our family was always the immediate. family and even now like we don't really. have grandparents barely Gabby and I. both have you know our relationship is. pretty much us um I mean we we don't so. we don't it's not like we had all of the. associated guilt that gets developed. with a lot of the hey weren't thing and. this and that you know having like hey.

you weren't here and you got to be like. that and all your parents passed away. and you that's what you do and you like. we we didn't have a lot of that that. builtin I I mean I didn't just given. that I had barely even you know we lived. in Hawaii my was my mom and like I had. some relatives I had you know. grandparents that were bills things that. I wasn't even related to cuz it was. bills and you know my my mom's. we was I saw my grandmother and she was. meaner than a rattlesnake and I mean it. was like you know like but minimal.

contact because we didn't live where. they were we were away from them so we I. think some of it was that I think the. piece of it was that we were that we. weren't uh you know we weren't we didn't. have all that inner family see Grandma. the we grandparents have you know have a. have a have a barely in the in the. structure of you know mom and dad like. so so I think that that that also kind. of not didn't make me have a huge you. know uh I mean I have I've had dogs that. I mourned more you.

know I mean and that's the truth that's. I mean that might be harsh but that's. just the reality of just the level of. the depth of the relationship was. something that was just we didn't have. we had no it wasn't like hey remember. the time we did the thing and D D D D D. and all the we didn't have that that. sometimes that stuff is invis invisible. but it's the bond that we build through. the layers of experiences that we have. with each other the things that we do. the Christmas the movie the scary thing.

the injuries the you know the the hey I. took you to the I mean I remember one. time I broke my leg and I had been I had. ditched school every I think I did. school every day for a whole quarter I. had some crazy things so I had dinner. with on Sunday night and I'm just using. this an example of developing. experiences together in relationship so. Sunday night we had dinner and my mom. and Bill and my mom aren't together but. but but Bill has to give me the hey you. better go to school thing so I get the. hey you better go to school but he lives.

in in another house with another person. down in town and and so yeah Pro on. Sunday I'm okay I'm going to go to yeah. I'll go to school then the next day I'm. in the bus and the waves are Beyond good. like it's as good as it gets and I'm. like I just I just go like that the bus. stops I get off the bus I go straight I. go out I get run. over a guy runs me over and I'm probably. 16 15 16 compound my leg break my break.

compound my leg I got to walk across the. reef I got thing I finally get to the. car my friend takes me and driving me to. my dad's house so at this is at 9:00. a.m. on Monday morning after the Sunday. night talk about going to school my dad. goes get in the car and I and I swear he. hit every pothole for the hour and a. half ride to the hospital that he could. find he would just turn off the road to.

hit bumps. just you know but we him and I have. that we have that to talk about like we. have that experience that we had I mean. and all the ones that we had over the. over our relationship all the times all. the things that we had over over that. process we have that no matter what so. we have that Bond even if we just hey. how you going how you going we still. have this thing that we built with all. of these experiences right and so when. you don't have that there's none of that.

zero not a lot to talk about I mean. you're not a lot and and and and less. and actually not a lot to feel more. importantly because this is an invisible. thing and so you you don't even feel it. you're like you you look you go I have. no feeling towards that I just don't. have any I. like reason I want to dive into this so. much is and uh don't don't quote my. statistics here but mine either if I'm. if I remember correctly I believe it's. damn near 25% of the US population is.

fatherless you know they don't have a a. a male role model in in in the family. Dynamic and it's I mean you see it today. it's created this situation where there. aren't a lot of there aren't a lot of. positive male role models to begin with. in the country yes sir in the in the. world I believe at this point and and. so and you see it every even even the. ones that do have homes a lot of I mean.

there's a lot of dead be dads out there. you see I talk about this all the time. but you go to the store you see kids. they have male teenage kids. with zero self-confidence you know they. can't look in the eye they look at their. shoes they don't know how to communicate. yeah and and all of these things are. because they don't they don't don't have. a there's no male figure to look up to. yeah and um and it's it's becoming more. and more scarce as time goes on so.

another thing that I want to ask you. about is is Bill I mean was he your was. he a. male did he fill a role in your life. that you looked up to definitely a male. definitely a man like like in you know. like it doesn't sound like it was the. healthiest relationship WR when you're. wrong you put your head down and you. take your punishment like a man when. you're wrong and when you're right you. lift your chin up and you go to the. death like that's like so there's some.

values that he had that that as a male. now I had other fortunate males as well. like I was fortunate to be around I was. also in a time when there was more of. these male figures that I would that I. respected and I looked up to uh and. other families like that we were near. that I was like that Dad is like that. guy is you know and and I would say a. lot of it is you know I have tried to. become the father that maybe I thought I. wanted or maybe the thought or what I.

think of what a father should be or. whatever that is right so uh and it. doesn't mean it's right or wrong it just. means that it doesn't mean that I didn't. have a dad but it just means I want I. I've been trying to be the dad through. the either dad's that I looked at that I. thought well that's a good father or I. like that about that guy as a dad and I. like this part about this guy as a dad. and I like that part about that guy and. and I try to you know amize those and.

put those all together into one thing. and be that uh but you know bill um. there were things of course that I. didn't respect that ways that that he. was that I ended up using as things of. how to be so I I did that too like I. went like oh yeah I don't I don't I. don't I'm not going to do that that that. that doesn't work out well you know. watch I go oh that don't do that like I. mean you know most of the time we need. to learn from our. own mistakes it is cool if you can look.

and go yeah don't that doesn't work out. well let's try to learn from that and. not actually have to go through it some. of it I've had to go through but some of. it I haven't so I had that but you know. there were things that bill taught me. that for sure were were masculine traits. male traits respectable traits and and. and that was a bigger one was just being. a man and facing stuff hey you did. something wrong got to go to the house. knock on the door go tell the guy hey.

yeah yep it's me I did it or you know. face it you know I mean I think. consequences simple and by the way we. make it complicated some of the stuff is. very simple let's like let's not. complicated like like you you know like. honor respect like the you know these. values that that that make us men I go. it's not tricky like don't try to like. make it all elaborate I always I believe. that when you're trying to make things. too elaborate you're disguising.

imperfection when per things are perfect. it's just a square it can be perfect and. a perfect square is aesthetically. pleasing right and and you have to. decorate it when it's not when it's not. square and perfect so I I think for me. that there are some male traits that. bill gave me that I that I obviously was. blessed to get and that bill was put. into into my life for a reason to get. those there's no doubt that I would and. I would only thank him uh for that some. of the processes that I had to go.

through I didn't love it and I would and. and uh but that doesn't mean it that I. didn't I haven't benefited from that so. you know and I had some other great male. uh Role Models as well in my life that. that you know I was able to cherry pick. through how did you how did you find. those. masculinity roles how how did you find. the male role models because because. there are yeah millions of kids looking.

for that today it's not easy it's not I. mean you know I I part of it I. think you know I I I the best way to. describe it is is. that because people talk about looking. for the truth right we talk all the time. we're saying looking for the truth how. do you know it's the truth I go it's. look bit it's like being a hunter if. you're a hunter. you know and understand the behavior and. the characteristics of the animal you. just do you know where the animal goes.

you know where the tracks look like you. know the call you know all the stuff and. the more you do that the better you get. at it and the better you get at it's. like being a good fisherman you start to. just understand everything right so if. you're looking for the truth you start. identifying the truth and looking for. the truth you get better at the truth. pretty soon you can just see the truth. everywhere you're like oh there's the. truth over there there's the truth over. there that's not the truth that's not. the truth there's an elk that's an elk. you know it's like you start to be able. to identify that stuff so I think as I. if you see things if there's things that. you respect and traits that you that you.

you look for those men you all of a. sudden you you be surprised hey I really. like I really think I you. know but you have to have those other. values right you have to be able to know. like I'm looking for a man that re you. know that's that has a certain kind of. respect and the people that you know. that that have discipline okay I. respected man I always respected man. with discipline I go look I and then all. of a sudden you look around oh that man. has a lot of discipline you look at that.

well there's another one you know and. then you try to gravitate towards those. those guys that have those traits say oh. he's got he's got you know honor okay. honor discipline okay yeah he's got that. those values you'll find them they're. there you just have to first you have to. know what you're looking for you have to. be able to go hey I'm looking for. somebody that has those those. foundational things. I mean I don't you know what comes first. the chicken or the egg I mean I I I I. don't know do you learn it you know I. mean I had men that I respected that.

people be like well how do you you know. how can you be with that guy or how do. you I go well you don't know him first. of all like I know him and also maybe. they don't they're not capable of. seeing the thing in them the thing that. that makes that that that I can see that. I can see the Loyalty the honor the you. know those values that that at the end. are the foundational values of what. you have done and what you do in your.

world same in my world those are the. same things those aren't different it's. not like a a good man is a good man. honorable loyalty truth I mean that. doesn't doesn't change it's not like. it's one over here and something. different over there no it's the same. stuff just get the big book and open up. and read down the thing and look for the. thing it's like it's right there there. it's in writing everywhere it's all. there for you to see it's. just sometimes it's not the easiest to. actually do that's the that's where the.

work comes in yeah yeah. yeah would you. say would you say you came from a broken. home oh yeah yeah I mean you know when I. look at it when I when I look at what I. think about that I go you know actually. it seems like in my life when I look. around it's more rare to have what I. have with my daughters and my wife right.

now that a solid couple that are. together with the kids with the thing. like which is what we. consider I don't know what the word is. but like like a whole family or not not. broken but I go well that's more rare. like like cuz you can say well 25% of. the population or whatever the. percentage is only has single parent I. go yeah but then you probably have. another however many more that have ones. that are like broken within it broken.

within it so what's the difference if. it's broken out of it or broken in it. it's all broken so and when you get down. to like how many are how many. real whole families like like family. units real whole family units are there. that's the most rare one like at the end. of the day I go that everybody asks like. that's the normal and these other ones. are I go no it's more rare to see that. that that and I don't know maybe has it. always been like that maybe it's always. been like that I don't I don't know if. it's that the real that that that's. where you're Asing to that you're trying.

to astrive to that I don't think it's. always been like that I mean if you look. at the World War II generation you know. they call it the greatest generation of. all time yeah you don't see a lot of. that yeah you see yeah but but it might. but it might not have been complete. publicized well also couldn't have been. complete like. like the relationship itself between the. male and the female might not have been. totally Optimum you know true very true.

very true so they might have stayed. together and not got divorced and doing. the thing and doing all this stuff but. at the end of the day it might have been. like and and also it was a different. time too I mean we've gotten ourselves. in a time where we it's almost like we. both to survive you almost have to be. mutual Breadwinners you got to be mutual. work like there's everything you got to. be working a lot more like I think the. provider uh you know taking care. relationship has obviously that Dynamic.

has changed I mean maybe that's when. we're in the optimum because I think. it's like with it's like with Gabby and. I we we it takes a special guy that can. handle a woman that has her her act. together most guys can't handle that. most guys you get a real you get a woman. that's a that can that's got her that's. really got her her she's self-sufficient. it can be intimidating for a lot of men. totally they they're like too much for. me I need one that's more dependent. because that makes me feel as a provider. but that just really speaks more to your.

insecurity than it does to that to their. like you just have to be more like hey. cool but I'm still the guy and I can I. still do all the things I need to do I I. don't even have to be the bread winner I. can you know lift a heavy beam or fix. the toilet or whatever it is like you. just but having that so I think that. those I think a big piece of if if. there's the turmoil has to do partly. with that right it has to do with the. Dynamics of that we're not in our. Optimum positions that we're not you. know it's not just so clear like.

provision subsidence like we're not able. to work so evenly together or or in our. in our proper roles I think there's some. role stuff that that definitely is. influencing the dynamic I just you know. again having a a mom that the way my mom. was put me in a whole another level with. my relationship with uh the in my. relationship and being able to deal with. you know having having a woman that that.

that is strong and being you know and. not not not strong because women have. their strength no matter what but it's. just in that hey I don't need you like I. can I can provide for myself and you're. kind of like oh what do you mean you. don't need me you got to need me I need. if you don't need me then who am I and. you know like so we have all that stuff. that we have to work out uh which is our. own our job like it's it's our job to. figure out you know Gabby and I talk. about I go I'll go figure out how to be. happy and then I'll come back happy and. then you go figure out how to be happy.

and then you come back but not if you. behave like this then I'll be happy and. oh no if you behave like that I'll be. happy it's like that doesn't work yeah. you can't put that on each. other we talked a little bit about. generational trauma and and and. generational curses and stuff dides your. mom what was her upbringing like was it. similar yeah so you were the one to. break the generational trauma I think so. you know that is extremely rare that. doesn't happen very often and listening.

to your upgrading I mean statistically. you never should have made it out of. that neighborhood in Hawaii yeah you. know now yeah I. mean you've got an entire Legacy yeah. you know you're obviously a very. successful entrepreneur your surfing. career is legendary you have a uh what. appears on the outside to be a very. nourishing Family Life uh with your. daughters your your I mean we at.

breakfast and on the way here you were. talking about you know fatherhood and. what it's like to raise daughters cuz I. have one on the way and and I mean. that's a that is amazing you know nobody. there's a very small percentage of the. population that breaks. generational trauma and you've done it. and I don't know if you know how you've. done it but I'm going to to ask you know. how how did you do. it nobody does this and it's important. because you can see the trajectory of of.

of families you know and and it's not. headed in a good direction yeah so how. can people break that that curse I I I I. mean and I I can only kind of try to. guess at the things that have that. helped me uh I I mean there's no doubt. that that faith is a big animal like. faith and God is a is a piece of are you.

a Christian man oh yeah I have been for. a long time yeah right of course cool. when well I'll let you finish this then. we'll dive into some of that well the. the I mean I like I said having faith. and and and. and you know that power that you get. like or the power that gets given given. to you or how whatever way we want to we. want to cut that I mean I think that. that's a that's a important um I think I.

mean listen I think. uh I think some of it's chance you know. some of it's by chance that which you. you but then if you believe in. predestined and you believe that it's. been written before that somewhere in it. you know I think my My Destiny or should. I say my. life I I I I it's it's been laid before. me I'm just walking on the on the path. that's been written and so some of it's. that some of it I'm just you know going.

through the process I mean discipline. Faith um you know Fortune I think I've. been I'm lucky to I probably shouldn't. be here more than once I I could imagine. you can probably relate to that you know. I I know I shouldn't I mean I I think. I've you know I've. definitely you know I definitely more. than once more than twice that usually. there's a list a long list and so I.

think that there's that I I mean I you. know I I. uh but but having faith I I you know. that and believing you know like it's. like I told I I tell Gabby sometimes. when things are tight I go you know it's. been okay it is okay it's going to be. okay like I think that that's a big. piece of it you really have to and you. have to want to like you really have to. want to like you know I I I always meet. guys that you know cuz they talk to me. about you know quitting drinking and. stuff and and I go but do you want to I.

go because if you don't want to it. doesn't matter no one can do anything. for you like there's just nothing and. you and and you can't say yeah yeah I. want to no do you want to like do you. want to CU there's a big difference. between yeah yeah I want to and yeah I. want to like how how much do you want to. like because if you want to really want. to then you can but if you kind of want. to mhm that's good luck that'll never. happen it'll never happen so I and I.

would I would I would connect it to that. I would connect it to really wanting to. have like this family that you know. what's important to me uh like my. daughters spending time with them Drive. being daddy Uber you know being the Uber. and driving to the school and making. that being a priority it's just like the. thing around your health like taking. care of this like you can't if you don't. take care of this then this thing. doesn't work and so if you're and if. you're wondering why you know you're. struggling it's like well you got to you.

got to you got to make the motor run man. you got to take care of the motor. because the motor has all the impact on. the on the on the you know on this on. all the on the all the keyboards the. chemistry it's like and so you know. we're. we're I think all of that right all. those pieces I think I've been fortunate. that I just all the spokes man I just. tighten you know I went all that I got. this tighten that spoke and cuz you know. anyone I always look at it like a wheel. and and you look at it like the spokes.

any loose spoke man that. thing there's just a little bump in it. where is it where's it happening where. is it happening in your you know are you. looking at some crap on the internet are. you are you you know are you drinking. some something over here are you doing. that where is it happening where and. then and there's no there's no. Perfection that's just that's. non-existent there's not everything in. nature every cell every snowflake every. grain of s is different the shape's.

different it's like there's no it's the. Perfectly Imperfect it's like the but. you know where are the areas that you. can that you cuz that's your only. Fighting Chance what's creating the drag. it's your only Fighting Chance it's your. only Fighting Chance only Fighting. Chance is just reduce the thing reduce. all the all the anything that could be. contributing to make it more difficult. to your and I mean like I said when I. when I cuz cuz I had I was you know I. love drinking right like I and I didn't.

drink until well when I was a kid. there's a I I was at a party when I was. a little kid and in Hawaii it was just. coolers were open drink one night I. drank so much beer one night as like a. little kid and vomited my my mom and I. were vomiting the whole night and then I. didn't drink it all ever until I was. like 18 like the smell of beer would or. 16 like 17 the smell was just like it. was just it made me have a flashback and. then I started drinking beer uh. culturally like hang out with the boys.

it's just it was more it's a the thing. uh and then I started drinking wine and. and and stopped drinking beer fattening. and I had my French I had a couple. french things CU I I was spent a lot of. time in France I was sponsored by a. French company for about 20 years and so. my French habit one of my French habits. was nice red wine you know it's what. whatever my mom was was an alcoholic um. you know I I always talk about. Alcoholics like surfing everybody's a. surfer and everybody's an alcoholic is.

just whether you drink or you surf but. we're all naturally alcoholics and. Surfers what people what do you mean I. go there's not a person alive that. wouldn't love standing on a board and. riding away there's just nobody I don't. care if you're from Russia in the middle. of Siberia or from doesn't matter just. like being alcoholic there's no one. there's no human that doesn't like to. drink that's wouldn't like the feeling. of drinking it's that's what it's. designed to do I mean that's what it. does but so I had that I had my mom and.

coming from my you know my mom having it. uh and I'm not good with alcohol I'm. just I you know I think I can jump over. the building and you know I'm just. always doing I just nothing ever good. came out of anything drinking right all. the worst things I've ever done it says. it right on the bottle impairs judgment. and motor skill like it's not it's so. uh but that was a discipline thing right. that was a thing at a certain point my. mom said something to me that that. really stuck with me that really was one.

of the contributing things that helped. me a lot which was if you can't be true. to yourself you can't be true to anyone. else and so I thought and I would drink. and then not drink and be like and then. drink and be like oh I can stop any time. and I'd stop for a couple weeks then. start again so I always had that. emotional roller coaster of I got. control of it but I don't have control. of it and then I have the guilt. associated with it and I drink and wake. up at 5: and train like an animal and. justify my drinking cuz then I could be. like hey cool man I can I can I'm. handling it I I'm doing my work I'm.

during my work I'm I can drink and train. every day and a lot of it was guilt. training you know because I'm training. because I'm trying to make up for the. fact that I'm feel Shady inside that I. don't have the discipline to do that and. uh and So eventually and and I and it. was going to contribute to it was. contributing to to hurting my. relationship with with Gabby who I who I. love and who that's the last thing I. would I would want and it was also it.

was going to it was starting to like the. girls were going to start being exposed. to it they were really young my I mean. my youngest uh my middle one was was. young and and so I'm like you know what. I just don't want them a bunch of. reasons right I just went. but it was a discipline thing and so I. just wanted I wanted to to prove to. myself that I had the discipline and uh. and I didn't have AA I didn't have any. reinforcement no help no nothing. just cold turkey boom start done.

finished 16 years uh I haven't and I. have no desire no interest and what I. really came to learn about it was that. it really it was a sugar addiction. you're you're coming up on 16 years. something like that 16 17 yeah that's. congratulations I'm almost 2 years. in love it was wish I would have done. this a long timeo absolutely did you. have a specific I mean what was it that. triggered it I I read into some of your. story I was planning on covering this.

later in the interview I know. that uh Gabby I believe said that you. turn into Larry Larry yeah what are some. of the things that were. happening I just you know I I would. uh it's fire water for me I don't know. if I got some kind of wild native. something blood or something but it. would definitely it would definitely. like I just wasn't a good I would go and. you know drive cars fast and jump off C. you just do radical stuff I always.

thought I go I can leap buildings in a. single bound like that was my that's. what it does to me like it turns on that. part of my my brain of just like a a. like a like a wild animal I turn into a. wild animal and uh which I'm already I. think naturally a little already going. that direction I don't need any support. I don't need any boost I don't need. anything no enhanc no no enhancement and. so uh you know and and it was just it. would never it just it it.

just it wasn't it's not it's just not. nothing Good's coming out of it you know. I think one night I came back and I had. I always wanted to prove right that I. could handle so it's like oh yeah I can. get I can drink three bottles of wine. and drive my truck home and something I. think I banged a pole and didn't nothing. didn't set the air bags but that sheared. the pole off and then it was like the. next day the pole was hanging I came to. the bottom of the hill and I looked at. the pole and I thought. hm okay got lucky on that one like I was.

I probably was going four but I had a. you know giant truck with a huge bumper. and yeah just whatever again being. looked after you know being fortunate. got getting getting away you know it's. interesting cuz I you know we talk about. you see like in especially in in surfing. right and we see people doing you see. people doing certain things and you're. kind of like. like like the angels are busy protecting.

them y so you better have your cuz. they're not there's none available for. you because they're busy because when. you watch the way the humans are. conducting. themselves every Angel available is busy. so you better if you have the fortitude. to be able to keep your stuff and be. aware and keep yourself good you better. do that so you know I think there was a. culmination of a bunch of incidences. Behavior relationship stuff Health.

whatever just all those things over time. it was just like okay I'm good like I'm. like I'm I'm and I and I'm good to the. point where I'm going to be good good. and uh and not just dabble good but. that's why I said the question really is. is do you want to like really want to. because people go yeah they want to but. they kind of say it out of the side of. their face yeah I want to stop it like. so there wasn't there wasn't necessarily. a specific incident or an ultimat or. anything like that interesting I with.

with with what triggered mine was we had. spoken about this but I did a I did a. psychedelic therapy uh for for traumatic. brain injury and post-traumatic stress. and and I never thought I I used I had. steps with there was a time when it was. wake I would wake up and it was vodka. mini bottles all day long and then and. then at night time I would just crack.

open a a fifth and down A fifth or two. and then that got away from that and I. got into wine and it it was yeah two. three bottles a night then I did this. this this this therapy and when I came. out of it I just it it was like I had my. it was like my body had had an epiphany. that was was the shit's poison quit. doing it and I I have not had another. drop sense amazing and uh that yeah so.

so there wasn't any specific no I I mean. I I I well the potential that it was. going to ruin my relationship that and. that was getting it was getting to the. point where it was going to be like any. at any minute it was going to be you. know Gabby would walk out and so. that uh or I would hurt myself something. just something I just I felt like there. was that critical mass like enough. things had happened and there was an.

accumulation that I was at this position. where there was going that that it was. it wasn't going to be it was going to. just be one straw that broke the camel's. back you know like it was piled up and. it was ready and and I didn't know which. one it was going to be and I think that. was it I think that the the the the. thought of of the relationship or. something bad happening uh with me or. one of my kids or just something I just. was like okay I got to this is this is.

this is I don't have um any kind of. control over this this is not I don't. I'm I'm it's out of control and and and. uh how long was that going on. for you know. years years like like and you know EB. and flow but it was it was it was. ramping up I could feel I mean I it was. definitely it was definitely ramping up. and you know and I think it was. connected to obviously is always. connected to something that you're.

suppressing your you're your I mean. maybe the responsibility of you know. actually you know being a dad and being. a husband and you know and just facing. sobriety or whatever it is I who know. who knows but somewhere something was. getting suppressed something was getting. was getting. you know held down and and then and then. so I went into it and uh I just like I. said stopped and then I started just. getting crazy sugar stuff and and I.

realized that it was just it was also. the the and I have a thing with sugar. like that like about it being like some. having some sort of and it was sugar. it's a sugar addiction it's the highest. level when you look at alcohol and you. think about what is liquid sugar it just. goes right in your bloodstream it takes. the absorption is you know and then like. having a mom that that that you know. that was an alcoholic being around. people watching as soon as I stopped and. I started watching People's.

transformation I was like whoa wow it's. amazing like you don't and when you're. doing it you don't even know you don't. even realize that you're just what you. turn. into I'm like whoa I can't imagine what. cuz I could see people doing it that I. thought they don't even turn into. anything and I know I'm turning into. something it must be just crazy I'm. going I go wow that was a transformation. and they don't even transform imagine. what I was doing and then and then and.

then it just you know and for the the. beginning I would be like I'd wake up. and had a dream that I had a sip of. something and I'd be all freaked out and. mad about it and everything but it. became a real challenge like I made it a. real like discipline thing and and what. I also did was I just took a peligrino. bottle and removed the wine bottle and. put the pelino bottle every time I want. to drink I just drink drink the. peligrino just are you serious yeah. that's what I do I'm not you. that's exactly what I do no of course. cuz it CU a big piece feel like you have. something well it's a ritual because a.

part of it is just the whole symbolic. thing there's a symbolic process to the. thing open the bottle get the thing pour. the thing drink the there's like a. there's a whole ritual to it which I. think helps you deal with this so yeah I. just did. a you know replacement and like I said. 15 and I and now I don't even it's it's. like I just I'm like yeah I don't even. it's not even in my don't even think. about it not even close it's not even. not even part no effort to stay off zero. how fast did it take or I guess maybe it.

wasn't fast how much time had passed. before you saw Improvement by giving up. the bottle in your life family iMed bus. pretty pretty immediately pretty. immediately like already you're getting. benefits right away like it's you're. getting little pieces of hope you just. get a little hope then you hold on to. that hope and then you little another. little hope pretty soon you start piling. up here and then yeah it happens it I. felt like it happened pretty quickly a. lot of it was just the.

the the benefits of respecting. yourself you know the benefits of of. your discipline. like okay yeah I did like two weeks. three weeks a month two months 3 months. four months pretty soon you know you're. I mean now I don't even it's not even. part of the thing and I I only bring it. up cuz it's like oh we're talking about. it or something but but for definitely. for the first couple years you're like. you know you're counting them you're.

like and you're you're you're the reward. is that you like my mom said you know. you you are you become you respect. yourself you you have you're like okay I. got some I have control over this thing. that I said always said I did but I. never did but now I do and that feels. pretty amazing that's a pretty and you. bu you start to to build off of that but. that's that's the you know that was my. you got to use those little moments of. you know those little pieces whatever.

they they become and then and then all. of a sudden it's like you're the girls. are never around it they we don't drink. at our house they never see it so it's. not just socially acceptable you know. like like it is everywhere like it's. just so abundant everywhere you go you. see it everywhere you're like it's just. everywhere it's like every it's all it's. all okay and it's like it's not okay. it's like. how how long did it take you to. realize how how fast did you see. improvement with your relationship.

within the family with Gabby with your. daughters with people that are close to. you did you did you see. Improvement by putting the bottle down. immediately I saw incremental. Improvement as I went I just would see. it incrementally like you're seeing it. within a month or with you know a couple. weeks already within a month with I mean. part of it is all of a sudden all this. time you get you don't realize how much. time how much time to go get the bottle.

open the bottle drink the bottle let the. thing this is time like you just don't. like you don't you start to realize wow. there's a lot of it's like when you do. fast when you fast you realize how much. time you spend eating and thinking about. food and getting the food and making the. food and eating you know it's like and. so the drinking is the same way they're. the time the time you're all of a sudden. like it's like you're you're all of a. sudden in the evening you're not. distracted you're not drinking you're. not also I mean I think one of the. things I noticed or or should I say a.

difficult part of the process was my. kind of loss of. friends like a loss of friends like I. had a group of friends that that oh I. know with this lost I did I lost that I. just all of a sudden I just but our. common thing was that we were all. hanging together drinking and that all. of a sudden it was like. and then I'm a reminder to them that. they're drinking so then they don't want. to be around. me and then they're telling you hey you. used to be fun you used to be so great.

you were so awesome when you were drunk. and I was like or when you were drinking. or whatever it was and I'm like was. I and if you think I was because of that. then obviously you don't have my back. first of all and or maybe you just say. you're saying that because you're still. drinking and I'm not so I'm like a you. know a beak I'm like a mirror to you. that you don't like oh yeah I don't want. you were so much better when you were. drinking you mean you think you're. better when you're drinking or something.

so so there was that transition that I. had that was a little and and even once. in a while I'm like oh how come I it's. weird that I don't have the relationship. with those guys that I had such relation. I had such a long-term relationship with. but it was the foundation of it was you. know having cocktails in the afternoon. or you know what I mean and I was pretty. like my drinking was. drink till it's dinner eat go to sleep. so I I'm like but I would start like I. would train all day so that I was. really that that first couple glasses.

was really effective like you're really. you're depleted your body's hungry and. you drink a glass and you're just. instantaneously. buzzed go till you know dinner then. drink then eat dinner and go to sleep. cuz I never I think i' it's been my. blessing but I've always sleeping. sleeping is a big thing so I don't I. don't like to compromise at any cost. pretty much unless you really get wound. up and then you're going to go you know. in the Moonlight and see how far you can. jump your BMW in the pineapple fields or.

something you. like you. know how far did it go they go far you'd. be surprised it's amazing actually good. suspension right right on right on but. um well there let's take a let's take a. quick break and uh when we come back I. i' like to pick up on um how Faith. played a role in in your family Dynamic. yes sir.

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all right L we're back from the break. we're going to talk about how Faith or.

how faith is is is helped you with your. with your family Dynamic and so I'll. open it up on this I'll let I'll let you. process what I just said and and think. about it while I'm talking but you know. I'm I'm new. to relatively new to Christianity. and uh kind of grew up that grew up. Catholic uh the minute I left home I. never looked back and uh maybe stepped. in church two or three times since then.

since 18 to 40 and um and then recently. I just got back into it uh just looking. for some truth with everything going on. in the world and and I have a Bible. study with just a very few families at. my house and um one of the families is. uh the um my friend Todd he's a pastor. and he had a great way of explaining.

things and and and he says the word the. Bible Christianity whatever you want to. call it it's like a plum line and so a. plum line is how you tell if something's. straight and he says this it's a it's a. the word is a perfect reference to to to. to to let you know if you're steering. too far off course and then you come. back you know check yourself get into it. a little bit and then start veering off.

back to the plum line so you don't get. too crooked and and so that was a for me. a really good explanation on on on what. it is how to use it and um and so I'll. turn it over to you here so my mom was. raised uh strict Catholic so like Nuns. with with rulers and SLO the hand and uh. and.

so she didn't push anything on us as. kids like we weren't we we we uh we. weren't like she there was no church. there was no there was. no there was no like because she had had. such a you know kind of a ruler edged. beating drove her out of it yeah yeah. yeah and so uh and she felt that it was. something for us to discover on our own.

that that we would we would that we that. we would you know it was up to us that. we would we would discover it and you. know mine uh my like. first uh saturation or intimate thing I. I mean you know when you grow up on. Kawai uh and when you grow up in the. ocean you're a. little uh how would I say it's too.

elaborate too amazing creation is too. amazing to avoid not believing in. something I just think that that you. just can't get away. from being in those Worlds the beauty of. Nature and the power of nature and all. those those uh and the you know the. scariness of Nature and the and just all. the things that that are in it make you. it's impossible unless you're blind or.

just not not observing to not have to. not be at least open to that there is a. grand architect there is a there is a. there's a plan so I think I already had. that Foundation right being raised in. such a beautiful place and and such a. scary ocean and such a you know. creatures and big creatures in the ocean. and just all the all the things that. that happened uh and then I got uh I got.

born again I became a born again. Christian and and started to uh uh read. read the Bible was there was there. anything that triggered that. specifically I I mean I think it was. searching that I that I was I had I was. looking May might have been a girl could. have been a girl that that that a girl. that was something about her and then I. threw her uh and a couple of friends. there was just a curiosity to to that I.

that I was something was that I was. lacking I just had an interest in I had. an innate draw to it like you do to fear. like you maybe you have an in you have a. you have a a you know it's like that's I. got tell people people like scary movies. you know because they they're missing. fear in their life cuz normally we were. scared a lot and we have like a you know. like you have a space in your stomach. for dessert no matter how much you eat. you know you have a space you need fear. in your body well there's a space for. belief and and the Lord in your body all.

of us have it and it's just you know. what what are you filling it with or is. it empty is are you're so I had that. space that that that I was looking for. that empty space that I needed to put to. put some answers to to put some. understanding to how old are you at this. point uh probably 8. 18 19 19 18 19 okay like early right. then like 18 19 maybe 20 um just in that. in that uh that range and.

then uh and I'd seen I mean I'd been. around 7day at Venice I've been around. other kinds of you know I know some. friends are Mormons I mean I've been. around some different things but um but. got into it like got into the Bible and. started to to uh. to really like the teachings the The. Parables they just rang in my heart they. were truth it was truth um truth ring. rang in me I was like this that's truth.

that's truth that's truth that's truth. that's truth um. really felt attracted to that kind of. learning you know that that learning. that that the parables are such a way to. it just fit in my it's the way my brain. works I think that's why they're like. that that's why they teach in Parables. because they just those it's to to make. it's just the easiest way we learn it's. how we understand and so those and then. the tools just every every every it's.

like a tool case it's like tools for. your for your for your life like tools. to you know I I I would see the rewards. of that right so I I would see the. rewards of of walking when I was using. the plum line you know I would see the. rewards of when I was on the line and I. would see the the the lack of Rewards or. the you know the the side effects of not. being on the line and then uh and for a.

long time I was like well the I spent a. lot of time time reading the Bible and. and only and it was like the only book I. ever had I think I read I might have. read it twice um read it like read the. thing and read it read it it was like I. go I tell people I go there's only one. book you worth reading and that's this. this this book right here uh and so yeah. that was and and. uh you know Gabby has has Faith as well.

uh and and that's I think that's one of. the that's absolutely I mean your values. are connected to your faith your faith. is what what I mean if you don't have. similar values which is your similar. Faith it's hard to make anything work in. a relationship I think for sure but I. just know in my own personal life that. that that those. tools. uh you know I I said this before I go if. you just looked at the Commandments and. you said okay I'm just going to look at.

these Commandments and I'm going to try. to walk walk and do these things right. there it's in your best interest like. it's in your best interest to you will. have a better life like just like let's. not say where we go what we do we just. go immediate let's go present day we're. in it right now we do it the we use. these Parables we learn from these. lessons the more you do it and the more. you you you you walk the line you know. the better your life going be it just it.

just is it just it just it just will be. and you know I I I spent I've spent time. participating aot in a lot of church in. Church stuff um I felt at times the. hypocrisy that that was in it which. drove. me away from that that structure of it. and I you know and I and I think what. I've really tried to do in my my own. personal life is just live by it like. never mind professing conduct conduct.

you know it's about the conduct it's. about at the end of the day you can. profess all you want you know but if. you're you know don't go don't go repent. on Sunday and then live like crap all. all week long it's like live like you. don't need to repent like like live all. week long so you don't have to go on. Sunday but uh but yeah the the the the. teachings I mean I love you know when I. look. at well first of all when you like my. one of my my favorite passage of the.

whole book um and will always be is is. First Corinthians 13 just because of the. definition of love you know hope faith. belief and love love is the greatest. right so it doesn't matter if you. had you could have the faith to move. Mountain but you didn't have love You'. be. nothing and so all this stuff that love. is the king and and when you when you. uh and it's also not easy to do right. it's it's like these are these are these.

are. challenges put before us it's a little. bit like looking at the ideal F or or. looking at a whole family and saying Hey. I want to have a whole family well. that's the that's the that's the you're. striving towards that right so the the I. I look at the I look at that uh that. book as a manual for life like that's a. that's a manual for life and the truth. is in it right the and the truth is in a. lot of places again it's you know we. spoke about being a hunter but the truth.

is in a lot of places but it's the truth. is in all over that book like you want. to see truth you open those things. you're like truth truth truth and that. that your Plum line is that your tool. that you can use to help you in this in. in in everything I I don't know I just. just don't I don't see where there's. ever. uh you know judge not that you not be. judged I mean just there just no end to. the to the to the you know to the to The.

Parables to the to the teachings that I. mean it just it just rang in my heart. and I think that that's the I know that. that's been. uh and it's an ongoing thing it's a it's. it's it it appears to me and I'm not. through it all so appears to me it's a. road map on how to live you know and um. yes sir and uh no matter whether you. believe in it or whether you.

don't it will make you a better person. no doubt without a doubt there's no. there's no that's what I'm saying for me. I go even you don't need to believe in. it but will it make your life a better. life yes like it's WR it's written it's. like you said it's the road map to have. to have a better life like when you're. here it's it's it's trying to allow you. to miss a of Hazards it's like it's. showing you okay here's the hazards now. if you just go like this and you go like. that and you go like that you're going.

to miss the hazards you're going to miss. the hazards like and so I don't know how. I don't know in which situation that can. be bad I don't know in which situation. that that you wouldn't want to do that. like I just don't I for me I I don't I. would never understand and when you. wouldn't want to miss the hazards or why. would you live why wouldn't you want to. live in a way that would allow you to to. avoid some suffering and heartache and. and the plagues and the curses and all.

the stuff that it's trying to help you. avoid like why wouldn't you want to seem. like I mean some of it it's unavoidable. it's like you know we I mean there's. certain things that you just can't avoid. it's like you certain situations you. just cannot avoid so when you can avoid. things probably a good idea to avoid. like I'm all about avoiding let's avoid. because sometimes you're not going to. avoid and you're going to be just like. here I am and now deal with it yep yep.

let's um thank you for diving into that. I appreciate that um let's dive in. you've been you've had a successful. marriage 26 years sir uh you've been. with Gabby how did you guys meet she she. met on we met on a TV show a TV what TV. show uh it was called the extremist and. it was a show that she was hosting and. she would uh she would. interview uh people that were doing all. kinds of.

different radical things it used to be. called MTV Sports and it turned into the. extremist where she would interview a. skydiver then go skydiving then she'd. interview a shark diver and go shark. diving she would interview a drag racer. and ride Drive Dragsters and she did. about 60 or 70 shows and I was one of. the shows uh at the end she had already. and I was uh I was already uh married at. the time actually and so uh and I was. not I wasn't in a very good place in my.

in my relationship and uh and so the. last thing I was ever looking for was to. to be with anyone else I wasn't I was. that was the furthest thing for my mind. and and uh especially given my and part. of the reason. why I was married to begin with was had. to do with my my faith that I was not. wanting to live you know in sin and so I. was like okay I want to I'm going to get. married to do the right you know just it. was it was some of those beliefs that.

that I was living by and so I was like. okay I'm and then I was in a position. that wasn't it wasn't great and so uh. which so then when I meet her the last. thing I'm even thinking about is like. I'm just like oh here we go we got some. bimbo pretty girl that's going to ask as. me some stupid questions great and I was. just focused on riding giant waves and. you know trying not to die and then. dealing with you know a crazy person. that I was trying not to live with and. so and so she you know so she she.

uh we had an interview and uh. and I I describe it like a love it first. conversation cuz after the the. conversation we had I I think I was hit. by a. love bolt you know like a lightning bolt. hit me and I was just like what even I. don't even know what happened I was just. completely like. broadsided um and and I ended up living.

with Gabby eight days later and and and. then we were to get we've been together. since what so you guys hit it off. immediately yes sir it sounds like you. you thought she was a. pretty bmbo yeah and and from what I. understand she actually thought the same. about you initially so what what was the. conversation what was the interview what. hit you just her intelligence just the. way her the way her mind was working and.

what she was. uh just her her her sincerity her. curiosity her her real um she was smart. she was and I'm I had a smart mom so I. know what smart is. you know I don't need doesn't take me. long to know what smart is and she was. smart I'm like she's this is a very. smart person and and uh and again it was. it was.

still you know it was just it was out of. our hand it was out of our hands it was. it was it was one of those things that. you just you're going along down a road. and all of a sudden it's just a hard. right and you just you just didn't even. have the wheel the wheel just was like. okay now I'm going down this other Road. like and so that was and it wasn't just. so uncomplicated to be together I mean I. moved to California and then she was. coming back with me and I was dealing. with you know. having being married and trying to you. know work that out and I had a daughter.

and I so I was it was it was not a it. was not a simple it wasn't it if there. was any uh opportunity to have it be. kind of not not. convenient you know there it was it we. could have E I mean it was at any second. we would had been Justified oh yeah yeah. I can't we can't do that cuz that's just. not going to happen but it wasn't we. didn't have any of that that was just it. was it was uh yeah it was it was you. know it was a complicated relationship.

could have been comp Divine could have. been uh compromised very easily at any. second at any second there was you know. and opportunities along the way too that. we that we that we that we work at you. know that we and and I mean listen I'm. I'm so blessed that she can put up with. me like I'm just I'm hard to put up with. I barely live with myself and she can. somehow survive it and I I'm thankful. that she just doesn't you know respond. to every single thing I do and say CU if.

she did that we we probably would you. know I'd be. alone so eight days so you guys meet you. do a TV interview eight days later yeah. I take her surfing I took her surfing. that was probably the part that really. sent it over the edge cuz we were. surfing together and that was kind of. intimate which which wasn't it wasn't. meant to be intimate it wasn't it wasn't. like I was like the last thing in my. brain and and and gab's the kind of. woman if there was if there was. any any and when I know as I know her.

now I. mean there the fact that that if I had. any little like weird like if I was at. all like hey babe where are you going. what are you doing like if there was. just a scent of that which I don't have. and and I. mean I I don't know. how. she. understood me as maybe as better than I.

understand me like maybe she KN she she. knew things about me that I didn't know. about myself maybe in some ways I have a. feeling like my my I mean I don't know. about my loyalty but my you know my my. desire to have a family and be together. and all that kind of stuff like I think. she saw that stuff like I think only. like a woman can I think that that that. I think their ability to to to to to.

know us in a. way uh is far beyond our capacity we we. know us for our kind of our more. immediate things but we don't really. know ourselves like like they do uh I I. think that it's part of it in the. interest of the species like we we we. need to to survive we need they need to. know that you know what what we in when.

things are you know Optimum when people. are clear and thinking but but we we. were in some ways I was like a you know. it was it was like a I was I was in a. trance like I was in a and her friends. are like how what do you mean what huh. what like like they just it didn't it. didn't all it didn't it made sense and. it didn't make make sense but it was. definitely you know when she tells the. story about her friends it said oh. you're doing a story on that guy and.

they're like oh M Mrs Hamilton and she. oh be quiet he's you know whatever and. just like they had the there was all. this other there was all these things. that that went on um external influences. yeah what I 8 Days 8 days to move in. together and you you left. yeah your wife I was I was living in a I. was living in a warehouse next on my. property next to the my house so I. wasn't living yeah okay yeah but yes 8. days later I was married and I moved.

what was that com whose idea was. it what was just the only way to be. together really so it was Mutual it was. just I'm coming out and I'm moving in. yeah and that was it that's it how long. did you guys Dave before you got. married couple years CU that's how long. it took to get out of the other. [Laughter]. one right on right on and she was. awesome from the beginning with my. daughter she just took her in like like.

no problem like made her loved on her. and made her part of the family really. instantly oh yeah instant like not even. like in a in a in a in a way that you in. a way that you would make you be like. yeah that's that's right that's why I'm. with her kind of thing you know like. acted in a way that that you didn't that. you were like oh yeah that's. that's that's that's why do you think do.

you think your oldest daughter felt any. type of resentment or for you leaving. and going you know if she did it was it. was it was. probably connected more. to outside influences than it was her. own personal experience so maybe it was. could have been some you know. programming so it didn't it didn't it. didn't it did not affect your. relationship with your daughter and in.

in in a in a negative in a negative way. no no that's great to hear but she was. but she was also very young like baby. she was a baby so for her she didn't. even know she didn't even know the the. uh she didn't even know like she really. never knew it she only was more like I. said if there was anything that. influenced it I mean her you know my do. my oldest my oldest daughter's. relationship with Gabby is is amazing. like they have an amazing amazing almost.

so amazing that it can be confusing. because society would be like that you. know that's your such and such and. that's your you know what I mean like. Society puts stuff on us but left to our. own thing we would only go by. experiences and again the amount of time. and the amount of love and the amount of. effort that was put into that. relationship has made has has created. something that you just can't all the. social pressures and con constructs in. the world can't erase that stuff so it.

back to that it's back to the time and. the effort put in the amount of love and. the amount of amount of nurture I mean. it's it even when there is at times that. some outside influences it still can't. you can't when you get into the thing. it's still that has that core that core. that you built you just you built that. you put the time in it's like you don't. un you don't you that stuff is can. handle some pretty good rocks it can. handle some you know it can handle some.

shaking when you when you put that again. the time and the effort into into the. love is it's you know I mean it's man. what a great example you know great. example of a dad great example of a. husband great example of. of of changing the trajectory of your of. your lineage you know breaking the. generational trauma I mean you're just a. really good example for for for people. to look at thank you well I I think it's.

ongoing if I get to be it's only I'm. getting to be I'm just getting to be I'm. and I and it's and again back to. responsibility you know back to that. that I mean listen what is it what does. the good book say you know let he. without sin cast the first stone. look around no one can throw anything so. at the end of the day we're all we're. all in the same boat you know the thing. is is we always look over and we think. oh yeah it's better over there and then. you get over there and we have a saying. it's all grass you get across the fence.

you're over there you're like oh here we. are again back in the grass cut in the. grass it's like it's the same grass it's. like no no it's better over there and. you go over there and you're like oh no. back in the grass again it's like we're. we're it's not we think it's we think. it's so much better but everything has. its I mean it's we're all in my friend. has the same we're all in the same boat. we're on Earth we're humans you know and. I think cuz it's like even in my. upbringing when somebody says to me they. go hey you know uh where are you from. and I go. Earth Earth I'm a human from Earth and.

then if you're something different then. we have a long conversation let's then. we should sit down and talk then we're. talk you know like if you're not from. Earth and you're not a human we need to. really like I can't wait to hear a about. this story but if other than that let's. get past that stuff because we're so. caught up in the I'm here and I'm this. and I'm from here and I'm that that's. this is just all division stuff this. just all keeps us all away when you. really ding down you I think we all. really want the same thing like we want.

peace we want happiness we want thing. like we want that's what we want like. okay there's a few people that are maybe. a little bit chemically off and they got. to maybe you know work out and eat some. good food and get some sleep but like we. really want the same things we we we do. when we're in when we're of Sound Mind. and Spirit when we you know I have to. clarify that because there's some. obviously there's some demonic forces in. the planet so when. you're possessed that's a different. story I'm just saying but when you know.

there's the there's the majority of us. who are you know we're people we're we. we want the the basically the same. things that you know that it's like and. I like to get by that cuz I think of. because of my upbringing and I and I. think the separ you know hey where are. you from I'm from over here I mean we. used to have crazy stuff like if you. were from the other side of the island. you were from someplace else or what. side are you I'm from the west side oh. you from the West Side what are you. doing over here this is the north side. well I'm from the East side oh you're on. the east side what about the west side.

oh the south side it's like you have the. South Side East Side West Side and. you're all like acting like you're from. different place and it's an island this. big you're like no you're from the same. island like you know and the Earth's a. little bit like the same thing like from. the earth like. but yeah well and then you get belief in. there too and you know that just really. again man's you know another one of. man's construct at least the good book. is is got the the wisdom of of of the. truth right because the truth isn't. different you know lately you hear.

people talk about truth being like. there's different truths no there's no. different truths there's one truth if. anything if there's differentiation then. these are these aren't the truth the. truth is only one truth it's like it's. like gravity you fall you land like east. west south north okay truth the moon the. sun truth okay you know love truth okay. Peace Truth okay you know loyalty truth. okay you know like these are truths like.

it's not like there's not a different. kind of loyalty there's not like one. loyalty here and then this is another. different loyalty over here no there's. one kind of loyalty like and there's a. certain thing that makes that what it is. there's one kind of love there's a. certain thing that makes that what it is. there's certain I mean and I this all. the we just in such a I don't know I. think that we're playing with. definitions and stuff and that just that. leads us that's just confusion again. it's back to you know creating. complication to disguise imperfection.

yeah divide and conquer well and. accountability too getting people to to. actually have to do the work you got to. do the work people got to do the I mean. it's you know and I and listen i' I've. been fortunate to to be able to ride a. surfboard like that's a what a crazy. blessing that is I mean I I'm like you. know like that's a that's a how does. that even possible like yeah so so I. want to move into your surfing career. before I do I got two pieces of advice.

I'd like to get from you for the. audience one is what advice do you have. for for men to be a good. husband for a man to be respect your. wife respect your wife that that the. first thing you know they did a a study. on relationships and they said that the. one of the few things probably the only. single thing that was consistent among. among successful relationships was that. the man respected the woman I think that.

that because if you respect your wife. and I it's ongoing you it's probably. something it's not like you dis respect. her and then you don't have to respect. her like this it's probably an ongoing. thing I I think that that sets um you up. for success in in your in in in your in. your relationship uh. and you know I'm sorry say I'm. sorry you're right and I'm.

sorry hey it works 26 years yeah yeah. that's that's the only advice I have. you're right and I'm sorry and and and. and and respect and respect your respect. her I think that that's the that's our. for us I think that's our challenge is. to have respect and then also just you. know and be patient you know I'm I I. I've learned to to and I'm not always. great at it but it's you need to women. are moving at a different gear than we. are they're moving at a different speed.

their clock's different their timing is. different their whole thing is different. and for us the way we are we're so you. know we have a certain kind of movement. and there is a different movement. they're just moving at a different thing. and I'm I'm learning that I'm still. still continuing every day to kind of. try to acclimate myself to that that. different that different speed that. different movement that different it's. just a different they just move it you. know I always I I make a joke and I'm.

like you know is it man time or wo man. time you know there's like two different. there's two different clocks like I got. my clock and then I got her clock and is. it like where does the where do the. clocks move you know and they're not the. same like 12:00 on the man clock could. be 1245 on the WAN clock you don't know. yeah two different algorithms that's. right two different yeah try second. second piece of advice you got three. daughters you're very close with you.

guys have a a beautiful family Dynamic. yes sir. fatherhood yeah the uh that's a that's a. it's an it's an evolving thing you know. I I I I if somebody said to me you know. being a dad I said really. I feel like being a good father is is. that you're like a post in the middle of. a house and you're just holding up the. roof and you're holding on to the beam. of the of the ceiling of the roof and. every once in a while they come in and.

they kind. of touch the post to feel if it's there. and if it's steady and so you're just. like this this this post that holds. every everything up and and that's I. mean when you look at the parable of. that like how what that represents as as. for your for your girls like that you're. just solid and you're a post and then. and then uh you know I I I am all about. first of all take advantage of the time.

because it's going to go like this it's. going to be gone and so you just better. get you're not going to be able to make. it up you're not going to be able to go. back and you know be there and take them. to school or you know every time you get. an or whatever opportunity you get to be. with them milk it because it goes beyond. fast like they just go before you know. they're adults and they're out the door. and you're like goodbye and it's like. and you don't get to go back you don't. get to go back and say hey wait a second. can we just can we you know can we do. those things that we that we got to do.

along the way uh and so uh but they're. going to learn you know they're going to. learn courage from you they're going to. learn they're going to learn you know. you're your do your job is to make them. courageous like to make your girls. courageous and to give them. self-confidence like that's part of what. we do and part of that post and that is. that reliability you know that that that. that makes them secure it's interesting. because I've watched my daughters have a. security when they you know they'll go.

out and they'll be able to go out and. stay at a friend's house or go out when. they're even young and never would they. need to come home really or anything. they just were they had a certain cuz. they knew home was there they knew home. was safe they knew home home was solid. and they could rely on it and so I think. that there's something but that that. being that being that rock you know be a. I mean it says be a rock like be a rock. like. be stable solid there uh and then take. advantage take advantage of it take.

because it's going to they're going to. be adults and then you're not going to. go back and say hey can we redo that. stuff and yeah it's it's the best I will. personally take that advice it's the. best thank you it's the best I am uh. definitely realizing how fast it all. goes it's a blink of the eye and it just. seems to accelerate even more just like. it ramps up and before you know it. they're just like looking at you in the. eye and then they're a thing and it's. like then they're on they they're in a.

car and then they're driving and then. you know like my oldest daughter's off. has a whole life and you know we mean we. get talk her all the time and see her. but still it's they're gone they're just. and you don't get to go back and. go make it all up yeah is it exciting. watching them you know when they leave. and and yeah yeah watching them grow as. humans and adults and well you know what. they say if you do a really good job. they leave. easily so that's the reward right you do.

a great job and then they just walk out. the door you're like what what but. that's you did a good job if they have a. hard time leaving it means you maybe but. but yeah the and they're all so. different too each one has a different. it's like it's crazy how they can be so. different from two of the same people. just how does it even like just each one. comes out just. completely completely different and and. and it's just the uh but it is. interesting to see the people that.

they're going to be like you just when. you watch I'm like wow it's going to be. an interesting show this is a crazy show. right now like you get to see him kind. of you know evolve and and you go. through the thing I don't think I've. ever felt more V vulnerable in my life. and I don't think I've never in my life. had a I don't care what situation I've. been in hanging from a cliff I just. never felt the vulnerability that I have. with the girls just because it's not you. have no participation you have to just. watch and and and you just I think.

that's one of the I think that's one of. the lessons in the process is that that. vulnerability you just never you don't. know what vulnerability is until you. have a a child and then when you have a. daughter you just I mean you're just. when they you know when Mom puts them in. the car and then they drive out the. driveway you're just. going like cuz you just there they go. and you know Faith the world's is Faith. is in the you know in their hands and.

you have nothing you're just like you. but it's yeah but at the same time I. think that's what brings us that that. thing we get that Joy from it because of. because of that because we get that. vulnerability yeah you know thank you. thank you for sharing that um so let's. move into surfing yes sir first time on. a surfboard young baby throw them throw. them in the throw them on the shore. break throw them on the board you know. Urchins in the butt like super young.

super. young uh. just go on the board and then uh and. then and then had a board made for me. when I was like a actual board that was. my first surf board. which was you know in that in those days. it was you know I I I part of it is my. age uh when I was a child there just I. mean there was no such thing as a boogie. board like there was no there was no. foam boards there was no boards for kids.

I mean the the group of kids that were. surfing were few and far between you. could probably count all the kids that. were surfing in the world my age at my. gen during my generation it was just. like a non-existent thing so I was you. know a lot of it was like pieces of. surfboards like you'd get a broken piece. and that would be your surfboard or or. some reject thing that was some you know. some guy uh made high on asset or.

something crazy and like here's this. weird thing and you just but doesn't. work but that would be your first board. and so I had I actually got a board made. for me when I was a child and and uh. Bill Hamilton made made me a board and. and he sh AP in MA boards um one of the. one of the uh incidents of uh of the. many that I was in was I saw him shaping. he was shaping in the house that we. lived in downstairs and he and then I.

went after he was gone and I took a. Handa uh which I saw him use but I took. it on these new these ones that were. completely finished they had been hand. sanded and they were and I sawed big. chunks out of the boards which you can. imagine provoked him in some sort of way. which was probably not good yeah so so. you know it's that bad combination of. you know good temper and misbehavior not.

a good not a good mixture but uh but. yeah so I had board made from him and. then and then uh and then just had you. know uh had uh just started my started. my. you know I'm just possess just I was. just possessed to Surf like that's and I. was obnoxious there's stories when I. would run around and like I would cuz I. I think I was so proud to H get a dad. that I used to go and you know Bang into.

people and go you know who my dad is. like I had that in me because I didn't. have a dad so when I got a dad that was. a surfer and he and Bill was a great. Surfer in one in his day he was known as. a style master so he had one of the most. beautiful styles in surfing and was was. very well known in surfing and had you. know was in movies and so um so it was. like I had I got this you know I got my. hero to be my dad and I would go and. brag and oh my dad's Bill Hamilton blah. blah blah and all this stuff they' be.

like come on get away punk you know that. kind of stuff but um but yeah so I I. started that you know that uh I just. started surfing as a little little rat. and then just you know used to be. there's all these stories of me just. being obnoxious and yelling in this out. in the lineup and jockeying and there's. a lot of pecking order in surfing. surfing has a very uh big pecking order. there's a lot of a lot of uh there's a.

whole hierarchy there's a whole. structure within a lineup that's pretty. normal especially like in Hawaii um and. and in other other other uh surf. locations but mostly most every great. wave in the world has a has a a whole. pecking order a structure of who gets. the waves who you know who has priority. and then everybody down down down then. you have like the guys that are the. worst at the bottom they get the they. get all the leftovers and so there's a. whole like a almost a predatorial.

structure um who who so as a young. Surfer in Hawaii uh growing up you're. having to kind of deal with that and. work your try to work your way up into. through that into the into the into the. hierarchy. okay which is which is an interesting. process yeah it sounds like it next on. the Shawn Ryan. show you know everything I am and have.

is some indirect part of the ocean and. so I I owe it my life you talk about. some near-death experiences can we go. into some of. those I was in or Oregon in this White. Salmon River and we were doing there was. a river rafting trip they stopped before. this giant. waterfall they pulled the raft in they. made us walk around and I said to the. guy well can't we go off that thing he.

goes well we don't go off that. thing and I go what if I want to go out. there he goes well I can't stop you so I. swam out into the river and I swam right. in Into the Heart of it and as I was. going off I was going off head first cuz. I was thought I was going to go like. that right and I heard the Guy Yell feet. first from the shore so I kind of rolled. over and turned around and went went. feet first and I went over the waterfall. and I landed underwater on a big stone.

with the waterfall holding me. down just holding me like that and I was. just and I was sitting there and I'm. like and I and I was like can't move and. I tried to I couldn't press and I was. just and I'm sitting there and I just. got a vision of a skeleton with a life. preserver on it and I ended up after not. being able to to move at all I end up. moving my leg and when I moved my leg it.

spun me out from the stone spit me out. of the back of the thing and my friend. was already swimming from the side below. and the pool to come out to the cuz I. hadn't come up you're you're quite the. adrenaline junkie I think we have a lot. of Comon. here. hey everybody I'm Shawn Ryan click here. to subscribe to the Sha Ryan Show. YouTube channel for the hottest and most. compelling interviews that you will not.

see anywhere else I've also made a. playlist of all the previous SRS. episodes so they're easy to find you can. find that right. here.