John Lovell - How a 75th Ranger Built One of the Biggest Tactical Training Networks | SRS #80 Part 3

previously on the Shawn Ryan. Show I was kicking open some Palace. doors kick kick kick and then the door. flings open and immediately coming. through the Fatal funnel the doorway we. took incoming fire screaming right past. me I was a saw Gunner at the time I came. up and I shot him in the face and just. dropped him I'd never killed someone.

that close my first mission real mission. was in Haiti and uh we didn't really see. much at the time it's it was it was the. biggest deal that I had ever encountered. how did you kind of mentally prepare. when we come back we'll start to talk. about why you left the military and get. into your transition into civilian. life all right John we're back from a. lunch break and uh we're getting ready. to wrap up your military career but one. thing that I did when ask you is you had.

mentioned that you had lost some buddies. I can't remember if it was on here or if. it was on if it was on our break but how. do you how do you deal with loss how did. you overcome that uh I don't think I've. overcome loss anymore than I've overcome. fear it's like fear uh sorry to Pivot. but folks think of fear it's kind of. like all right you've been in the thick. of it so surely you mastered that I'm. like no no one can ever uh Master fear.

just cuz you're a hero before doesn't. mean you're not going to play the part. of the coward tomorrow every day the. rents do and you got to rise up and and. and Prevail and so uh similarly loss I I. don't know I doubt I'll ever really get. used to that you know of like if I lost. my wife how am I supposed to limp. through this life without her when we're. so inextricably linked and knit together. like how would I deal with that lost I'm.

like I don't know how I would it would. not be pretty though you know like I. don't know how i' how I would deal with. that so um now this far on my journey. how I deal with loss is I've got two. buckets for it um one is if someone who. shares my faith I believe I will see. them in greener pastures one day and so. to me it's not a goodbye forever it's a. so long I'll see you soon I'll see you.

later so one of my uh dearest friends he. was my first Mentor in the Christian. faith I was in Ranger battal with him. his name is Kevin and so I served with. him and then years later uh him in the. ministry would marry me and my wife. together and he he'd be one of my good. buddies uh so he survived all the War. tours and whatnot but then got in a. motorcycle W died and so uh that I mean. I didn't handle super well and that.

still hurts of course and you know I. knew other dudes that that died in. Ranger bat nobody was really really. close to okay uh some guys that were. like my platoon uh you know and and some. of my buddies who got shot up you know. and and so that that's hard you know. that's hard uh but when someone's in the. same theological Camp think of like oh. well as the Apostle Paul put it well for. me to to live as Christ and die as gain.

which means if your theolog is really. worked out you're okay with dying it's. kind of like oh I'm going to die and. then go be in Everlasting Joy with Jesus. that's not a bad gig and when somebody. you know belongs to Jesus goes and sees. Jesus it's not this huge tragedy on. their part it is on ours who are left. behind and missing them at least this is. intellectually true and I'm emotionally. catching up to this reality that I.

recognize you know and so um anyway that. theologically is is a bit of a Bedrock. for me where I have I have the. underpinnings to deal with loss now when. someone doesn't. realize that this life does carry over. into an eternity um and they do not land. in you know in a good place uh to think. of like like yeah I will never see that.

person ever again and they have gone to. torment that's really hard that's really. really hard and so um I don't know how. to handle that uh except to tell people. about Jesus you know like I don't know. how to handle that so do you mind if I. chime in please yeah I mean this is a. subject that we continuously touch on. you know and we had we had spoken about. how many people how many people from the. V in community watch this show and have.

lost somebody and and. so what I would like to kind of add to. that is something that's helped me get. through cuz I'm new to Faith you know. and and um so this isn't things that I. was thinking about uh for a lot of the. friends that I've lost and and and so. what's kind of helped me cuz it's really. easy to go down that road. of self-destruction yeah and pity and.

feeling sorry for yourself and and it. turns to anger you know and. um you have to especially when it comes. to guys that have died in combat I. think I think a lot of us considered it. an honor to die in combat I don't think. anybody I know that was killed in combat. would. have would have changed anything about. really being being there in the fight.

maybe maybe certain tactics you know in. different situations or maybe wrong play. you know but as far as being on the miss. everybody knows there's a good chance. that it's going to be you yeah you know. and but we all still do it and we do it. because the guy on the right and the. left to us and the team and the. Brotherhood right and and you have to. think one would that person have wanted. to be doing anything else at that. specific moment in time probably not.

you know I don't know anybody that would. have taken themselves off the mission. yeah number two how do you think that. person would want you to live the rest. of your life good call you know do you. think they want to see you self in. self-destruction mode and and feeling. sorry for yourself and not living your. life to the fullest because they're no. longer here yeah I highly doubt that if. they did do if they did think that way. they probably wouldn't have been close. to you you know and um so that's that's.

just some stuff that I think about when. I've experienced loss is you owe it to. them to live your life to the fullest. you know in their honor so I think. that's good thank you yeah I could I. could totally get behind that if IID. kicked off I would. hope that uh me going out would. strengthen your resolve to uh perform. your mission better or you get out of.

the military find a new Mission and then. go out and Crush find a new community. find a new Mission don't be looking back. on me and what we did find a new Mission. find a new Community Drive forward. improvise adapt overcome brother and and. and let me be a little bit of fuel in. your tank so that my legacy is to help. you guys climb higher and that would I I. that would be what I don't want to know. is so like oh you got sad and you drown.

yourself in a fifth of Jack every single. night before you ate a. gun I'm like bro you're making you're. making My. Sacrifice. worse uh in the way that you are turning. inward of like um uh in that way honor. me better than that you know go live cuz. I don't get to great way to put it great. way to put it you know one other thing. that I want wanted to ask you before we.

before we get into the end of your. military career is you had spoken a. little bit about how you've adapted your. leadership as you advance through ranger. battalion and so. what how did your leadership abilities. develop and and and and what changed. from kind of the the the typical maybe. mold of a ranger. leader So what i' had experienced is is. leadership through kind of fear strength.

competency all those were ingredients in. the cocktail mix that was leadership do. this because I'm experienced do this. because I'm strong do this because I'm. scary yell yell yell do your thing um. and that's typically how you you raise. up a private that that's that's not as. much how you talk to peers and whatnot. more you know when. you're uh spec four Mafia whether you're. you know Buck sergeant or Squad leaders.

whatever uh when you're Mission planning. and stuff it's Brothers you know outside. of the big command structure you're. probably on a first name basis uh you. know depending on your unit I'm like out. second bat in our years uh you know that. was kind of we're kicked out we would. default more to first names and we were. putting our heads together and figuring. out how we're going to take down. something and I never Advanced real far. up to be huge in Mission planning but at. a smaller level taken down buildings and.

and uh breach points and and and things. like that I was in and so we had more of. that camaraderie but what I wanted to do. as I was a team leader and then squad. leader which I would punch out as a. squad. leader uh is I wanted a different. variable I wanted my guys. to uh want to follow my leadership not. cuz they had to but because they wanted. to and I found of like what would it. look like.

if my guys knew I was really looking out. for them and I really loved them and I'm. I'm still hard on them I'm not g I'm not. cutting them out Valentine cards and. sending them you know uh flowers or. anything I'm like I'm still a I'm still. a gritty fire breathing Ranger but what. would it look like if my boys knew I'd. eat a bullet for them what would it what. would it look like and what I found is I. started modeling that uh uh you know the. verses of like greater love hath no man. than he who would l down his life for.

his friends and I looked at Jesus who's. a leader but he led through sacrificial. Service uh and that and what happened as. he dis he. inspired a whole group of people. strangers from all kinds of different. backgrounds that's a leadership mess. when you look at who the disciples were. uh and he inspired them all to die for. him like wow something to that maybe I. should lean into that Leadership Model. since we are in the let's sacrifice and. die for each other kind of business and.

so I leaned into that what I found is is. when I I really took care of the boys. and they knew that and in my very Gruff. way you know would love them they'd love. me back and it it kind of came to I knew. I had arrived when we went to a bar one. night I didn't go to the bar very often. uh just cuz it didn't have anything for. me you know I have I'd have a beer and. then I'm done you know that that's about. it and I wasn't you know chasing girls I. I was looking for a wife and I didn't. think I was going to find one at the bar. but I was would go every once in a while.

just to kind of uh a spre day core let. me hang out with the. Joe's uh you know every once in a while. I'll just go out and that'll be a cool. thing and it it's just one night where I. can verify no one's going to drive drunk. and no one's going to get in a bar fight. and go to jail uh and so that was good. too because Rangers get crazy and so uh. I was there but uh somebody I didn't. know uh some dude comes up and he's. talking to me you know and that's cool. and we're chatting back and forth. completely benign he's a military guy so. am I and we're chatting back and forth.

and some of my mil some of my uh dudes. from my squad kind of like inchin and. they're like eyeballing this dude and. they just kind of inch in front of me. and out to come between me and him now I. think that they were pretty inebriated. but whereas I was just having a good. conversation they had inserted. themselves in a position of defend me. from people that they don't know and I'm. like bro guys it's cool it's good we're. just chatting there wasn't wasn't. anything intense but they didn't want.

anyone near me they didn't want anyone. near me you know and so I thought that. was that was pretty cool so you know. you're a good leader at that point. that's boys back you that's when I saw. my guys have my back you know in in a. real cool way of like they were um the. impulse there these you know yeah yeah. anyway young dudes and so I just. remember that and it was right I. remember that because it was right as I. was I'd been trying to do those. dividends been trying to make those.

Investments and I wasn't just like. screaming at dudes now I had hard. standards and if you didn't meet the. standard well there's some type of. remediation there's some type of pain or. something but it wasn't done angrily as. if I hate you you dirt bag now I'm going. to hurt you it was they understood no. when I cause you pain I am making you. better because I want you to be better. so that we can be better and they felt. the impulse the the rationale behind it. was different so even when I caused them. pain it was done in a loving way you.

adopted that style of leadership at what. age 22. 23 that's impressive well I didn't get I. didn't say I was good at it especially. that's impressive especially in a any. soft unit I mean that is the L The Road. Less Traveled you know well I was you. know what I noticed is is different. soldiers adapted or resp Ed very. differently to different kinds of.

leadership I had one dude and he was. just so jacked up I ended up firing him. he shouldn't have been at ranger. battalion in the first place I did. everything I could to turn him into a. ranger and he just wasn't capable of it. shouldn't have been there he got fired I. still remember the kid social security. number that's how much paperwork I had. to do on this guy wow I still remember. his social I know my my social I know my. wife's and I know this guys. social that's all I know three social. security I don't know my kids but I know. know this guy I did that much paperwork.

on this guy and eventually uh fired him. I couldn't I couldn't make him into a. ranger I tried but that was that was my. leadership failure uh I. suppose when I first started this whole. podcasting thing and online store was. about as far from my mind as you can get. and now most of you already know this. but I'm selling vigilance Elite gummy. bears online we actually have an entire. merch collection that's coming soon and. let me tell you it is so easy because.

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was a private under me even if I just. kind of like if I was to wait in this. guy this guy already beats himself up so. much he doesn't need me to throw a a. right cross to him he doesn't need any. punishment cuz what he does to himself. internally is far worse than any he's. self-correcting leave him alone because. if you kick him when he's already. punishing himself eventually that's. going to be a bitterness toward you you. know and so i' just let himelf critique.

it's just one you he's doing his thing. I'm like you you know what uh you know. what I'd say he's like I know I know. what you'd say Sergeant I'm like and do. I need to say it he's like you do not. sergeant and it's never going to Happ. he's like never happened again Sergeant. I'm like I believe you and that'd be it. whereas if it was this other kid I'm. going to light him up I I'm going to. hurt you physically I'm going to make. you do so much PT that I'm going to. permanently. ingrain like a hot fire brand into your.

inner psyche so that you would never. dream of doing that you won't even have. a dream about doing that again and so. what worked for one didn't work for the. other and so I I realized man people. tick different ways and those are two. dudes I can see their faces right now. they responded so. differently um still others of like they. ran on a little bit more the fuel they. ran on was more of like uh anger and. they spool themselves up and they were.

intense and they needed me to get a. little intense too to kind of get them. into something uh and so uh other folks. have like this guy do real well he just. needs to know what in the world's going. on he doesn't do well being left in the. dark and if you just give him a little. bit general idea of the plan so when you. disseminate information I need to make. sure his key core questions are answered. enough so that he can be good and drive. on otherwise his brain just eats himself. his morale plummets. he needs certain amount of information.

that's just how his brain works and so. whereas the other guys they don't need. as much information deiminated he is. going to his morale would be it'd be. better to not feed him for two days you. know than do that and so I I was making. a study of who responds to what and how. should I adapt based on the individual. needs not the I will yell at everyone. until I get my way uh and though that. seems pretty rangeri. uh that was not a good way to do.

business it wasn't good leadership. policy you you were able to identify all. these different styles of leadership and. what resonates with your guys at age 22. years old it it wasn't as refined as I. can now see it looking back it was kind. of trial and error I just knew I wanted. to lead differently than some of the. ways I was led now it also be quick to. say of like though um I had some bad. leadership what I feel like is this was. not a healthy form of leadership I also. had some really really good leadership.

in rang of battal I love my platoon and. the boys I served with uh the guys and. um we had really Stellar I was in at a. time where our platoon leader was a. former uh Delta guy who had been and so. his desire is I'm going to make this. platoon in the image of you know the. place I came from and he set out to do. that we had a a on the ball uh Staff. Sergeant or I mean um uh Sergeant First. Class platoon Ser on the ball and so.

these guys were known far and wide. around ranger battalion and so we were. in like our platoon was set apart as. something really special because of. these leaderships and I got to enjoy. that uh immensely all the benefits of. that that was the leadership scripture I. uh grew up on my team leader was pretty. toxic but I knew enough of all right I. saw some things I wanted to emulate and. some other stuff I wanted to reject so. it started it jump started a leadership. study for.

me interesting that's um I mean that's. impressive there's not a lot of 22 year. olds thinking like that I don't think in. any unit so it's a compliment oh thanks. you're welcome but um let's move into. before before we wrap it up the military. career is there. anything throughout your five. deployments that you think we should. document in this episode no I've said. all kinds of stuff I've never said.

before some of the some of the kind of. big war story pieces those are the ones. that stood out in my mind and so I've. retold all this it's amazing how foggy. my mind gets like I don't think about. all this stuff I I don't talk about even. a tenth of all this stuff and of like. going into what I just said of like man. I don't know if I've talked about that. more than one or two times you know like. anywhere uh just. there's some of the detail there of like.

I've never gone into this so um no we're. we covered a lot good I'm glad you're. doing it here yeah so what you did five. deployments you did Afghanistan Iraq and. then three more Afghanistan deployments. right what when did you. decide you're ready to move on so I was. I'm not a military man I was just a man. that was in the military and um there's. found especially with some scrapes of.

death you know uh quite a few uh that. was insufferable also the op Tempo a lot. of dudes kicked out they were just done. and so by the time I was got out I was. actually promoted to weapon squad leader. that's that's the highest non-commission. officer position in the platoon under. platoon sergeant in my short time of. like man I got but it was it wasn't. because I'd earned it it's cuz the other. dudes who were more squired they got out. so it's going to like oh here I am.

weapons Squad Le I should have been. weapons squad leader and I wasn't very. long before I kicked out but I also got. uh infuriated by. bureaucracy and that sucks and we were. very insulated from it like uh Rangers. we have our fences and MPS are not even. allowed in unless it's follow military. police unless it's kind of following Hot. Pursuit kind of thing uh but we're very. private and us being second ranger. battalion meant we were across the. country country from regiment. headquarters we're in Washington and all.

the other rangers in Georgia under all. the commander simp so we got to get away. with all kinds of stuff back in a day. when it was far more free and then. you're kicked out on these small you. know uh patrols and and and kicked out. things where we wouldn't shave for weeks. and so we're feeling like all right yeah. we're getting all SF Grizzly you know. and so uh um anyway of like all kind we. got away with all kinds of stuff that I.

think Rangers today wouldn't get close. to but even still a lot of the. bureaucracy was just maddening of like I. remember one time where there happened. to been a sergeant major who had a. ranger who was Man in a 50 gun on an. active security perimeter you know of. like he's doing a real world thing and. he made him get down out of the turret. to blouse his boots. but bro you kind of stuff really makes.

my blood boil so it wasn't looking back. I'm like man I'm so spoiled that I like. I wanted like no restrictions I I all. this silly stuff of like Rangers suck at. drilling ceremony of like marching. around and saluting and stuff and you. know shying your boots and I'm like what. in the world does any of that have to do. with combat Effectiveness exactly and in. a big fat goose egg zero um you know and. so now I can immediately turn around and. make a case for why it it could should.

be done at the most basic rudimentary. let's get. everyone knowing how to March it's like. yeah but once we have done that it's. better to be let's establish discipline. not in how shiny we can make our boots. as targets for the enemy but instead. let's do it in our work ethic our. knowledge. base our nutrition our choices our. tactics let's be really disciplined. there. so some of that stuff just drove me.

crazy I was burned out on war and had a. lot of life I wanted to live and uh so. uh I I put in I did not reinlist they. threw everything at me to. reinlist and uh I you know said no to. all that I wanted to go in the military. I wanted to find uh I wanted to find a. wife and get married and um I think the. Lord wanted me uh to do some time in the. military but he had a plan uh to build. out this whole Warrior poet thing that I.

uh preach and hope to uh Faithfully. embody and that means being extremely. well-rounded in many other areas and if. I had stayed in some 20 years like some. some of my buddies did that would have. been entirely way too monolithic Warrior. post say never would have been born I. never would have been able to make the. jump into the civilian world having. spent my entire you know uh the entirety. of of my Young Adult Career doing that.

and a lot of guys have like I go and. hire instructors you know we have a. training company we train folks and uh I. was initially looking for resumés of his. former soft guys I wanted the soft you. moniker of like all right what SP what. Special Operations Unit were you in you. know and what' you do and I thought that. would be the most important and it's. just not people want somebody who's got. some experience who knows what they're. talking about and you got a resume but I. thought resume was this important and. actually was it was far less it was I.

wanted you to have a real world resume. that was congruent with what you were. teaching but really I wanted a master. communicator and I wanted somebody that. fit our ethos and our culture more and. that was a better fit somebody with the. coach's eye somebody with a you know who. who people liked listening to uh and so. that ended up being far far more. important as an instructor than uh hey. bro how many bodies did you stack and. over what period of time mhm that ended. up not being a good thing and when I had.

buddies who had been in for a full. career they just couldn't make the jump. to teach civilians they couldn't they. couldn't see past the own their context. that they had had to them they're still. multi-cam Madness running through the. desert and trying to teach civilians how. to do it like no no no that's not the. context that's not the they don't. understand half of the military acronyms. that you just Ro Rock there with your. ex incredibly specific vernacular like. they couldn't make the jump so um I was.

happy to get out and I had a plan I'm. going to go to college and I'm going to. buy a duplex and I'm rent out the other. side to offset my mortgage and I'm going. to shop for a. wife that was my plan how did that work. out I did my plan did you really I did. you went to school you got the duplex. and you bought a wife no I'm so you yeah. at the Ukraine was running a two for one. special and so you know I just kept the.

one that I like the most and it was. great deal great deal free shipping this. is all terrible you actually got to cut. this because this is this is human. trafficking kind of joke very. inappropriate but but you did you bought. a duplex you running the other side out. you went to school yep it all worked out. that's what I did um now I'd been on the. prowl for a wife for even in the. military and so I was I wasn't looking. to shack up anymore I was trying not to.

do that and I'm trying to be pure and. I'm just thinking about wife you know. and that that's the hope that's the goal. and um so I was on the prow for a wife. and I hadn't i' gotten to the point. where I hadn't actually dated anyone. more than about two or three days and I. went a couple years without even kissing. a girl um which for me in my background. that was something uh. so uh anyway I was looking for a bride.

uh and when I got into my college town. in Georgia uh I I went to uh church and. I'm looking to get involved in different. Ministries and I'm like that's where you. find a good wife that's where you find a. good woman is in these places and so. that's where I was shopping but I would. be pretty frustrated I knew enough of. what I didn't want but what I didn't. want excluded just about everybody I. just kind of even in this big college. town I couldn't find a girl uh that I.

wanted to marry and uh I I began to. think over time that my standards were. just too high you know I had my list and. maybe all this is just unreasonable. expectations so were they nope I met my. wife and found out my expectations. weren't high. enough where did you meet your wife. church but it's a little spotty cuz she. was dating someone else who would become.

a buddy of mine oh so I wasn't. interested in her I knew I'm. like that girl is a hottie I recognize. that but she's also struck me as a diva. you know and like have you seen the hot. crazy Matrix MH I'm like oh she she is. hot crazy no that's a 10 out of 10 right. there uh bro good luck good luck um. anyway their relationship fell apart and. and they they had been broken up for uh.

you know uh quite a while and uh what I. couldn't see before then one day I feel. like it was just like turning on a light. switch and all of a sudden we looked at. each other with completely new eyes like. holy cow how did I miss you uh and we. started dating and it was uh I knew I I. fell hard and I fell. fast and so that would begin our. courtship and it was about five months. after we really kicked things off we.

were married five months yeah we we were. engaged for two months wow yeah what's. your wife's name. Rebecca good for you and you're in your. 17th year of marriage now yeah so. congratulations thank you what's the. what is the secret to a successful. marriage um some of you listeners are. like oh come on don't say this I'm like. it's not cliche it's true it's true if.

you can if you can pull off love in. Jesus more than your spouse you got a. chance almost all marriages are fail in. divorce or you end up living together as. glorified roommates that fire goes out. so you got to do a few things one is tap. into the source where love actually. comes from that's Jesus uh it also. allows you to have a reference point so. both of you as you grow closer to Jesus. according to a Biblical model you are. getting closer to each other as you move. toward that similar Point otherwise you.

hey you're not the same dude that you. were 10 years ago you have any chance. that you're going to be the same dude. you are now in 10 years no no you're. going to be different and and you don't. know exactly what that's going to look. like and then you could say the exact. same thing about your spouse and though. y'all may be near and close on in this. point of your journey at this point in. time you're near in 10 years your future. self and her future self may be Worlds. Apart irre in ibly what is the guarantee.

you're actually going to grow together. over time just cuz you share a house. well good luck that's just not how it. works too much data proves that that is. not to the. um is just not a true statement of like. oh time and proximity means that we are. ideologically growing closer it's just. not true people change uh this allows an. anchor point a reference point and it it. provides a basis. uh a standard which can uh be our.

foundation and our dispute resolution. center so neither one of us are the. ultimate Authority scripture is period. all ties broken right there I mean like. all controversial ties not. familial and so uh you know love Jesus. then you got to date your wife never. never stop pursuing her this is. something big I was just listening to. Mark Driscoll um on uh Instagram who.

hates us all uh and he said hey date. your wife or someone else. will like whoa that's Savage but it's. true man hey uh once you get married. that's not the Finish Line That's The. Starting Line and whatever you did uh to. get her to marry you in the first place. keep doing that and you will uh be able. to walk hand in hand and happily ever. after into marriage my marriage. man it's good it's strong it's fun it's.

vibrant it's romantic it's passionate. it's working and so somebody can. castigate me all they want uh regarding. some of the foundational things that. I've just said regarding Faith but what. you can't deny is it's. working maybe I'm a but it's. working so it must not be so dumb after. all how's your marriage great point and. so I'm like if it works then maybe just. maybe you should remove the chip from. your shoulder and lean in and think that.

there might be something that I'm on to. here cuz most marriages are not working. and mine is growing stronger over time. not weaker uh we're becoming more in. love not more embittered and that is. extremely rare and it's taken a lot of. effort because our first two years was. not. good why is. that because I was an extremely strong. personality and she was. too uh I i' say it's it it is what.

happens when an immovable object meets. an Unstoppable force and that was us and. so our marriage and our first couple. months was really great and after we'. settled into happily ever after together. after a few months we started locking. horns and hard now her being a woman. raised in the 21st century she is caught. up in The Ether of mad third wave. feminism every woman today is caught up.

in the effects of at least third wave. feminism meaning uh feminism is so. infiltrated and affected our culture. that a lot of our marital. relationships um have been affected by. feminism in ways that we can't even. understand and for her part she always. wore the pants and all the relationships. she had been in and she had had kind of. control and power in that and she was a. bit of a Maneater. you know she she was uh beautiful and.

she was smart and she was strong and she. was opinionated and she was a little. unyielding you know and. so uh anyway and I uh believed I was in. charge and I was supposed to be the. leader of my. home and uh. so. um that ended up being very tough our. our next two years would not be rainbows.

and butterflies this would be tough.

and I remember laying there and you can. hear the gun go off and there's a. delay know this period of time before. the rounds hit the ground and I remember. waiting and waiting and all of a. sudden so this crowd followed um the.

group back to B and basically rioted. outside the gates they're like trying to. tear the gates. down this Taliban leader apparently was. friends with. carai so obviously his network of people. call and say hey the Americans arrested. your buddy are you me they'. released him released all of them all. all 10 guys who were bad this is this is. the kind of that makes me wonder. what the we were ever doing there.

in the first. place our medic is coming out of the. vegetation he he literally stepped right. on an enemy fighter this enemy fighter. rolls over and goes to engage him and he. shoots him and that started that. gunfight the whole world erupted at that. point I guess that's when I caught the. round from behind that hit me in the. face year traveled through my. face you know and I were talking about. death Jay and those guys saw that they.

saw me fall so they thought I was. dead and then kind of the world started. to open back up and like I could hear. the. [Music]. gunfire uh it's the one all of us have. to die. how did you work through that so most.

folks will think you have marital. problems there aren't a lot of marital. problems communication that's the. marital problem there's not much else. everything else is just personal. problems brought into a relationship. it's oh your selfishness bumped into her. selfishness and so you had a marital. problem but it was really just no you're. evil and you suck and she's evil and she. sucks and when you put that together. it's explosive and bad and so and I'm.

not I'm not saying people out there. you're evil and you suck I'm saying you. and me and you everyone's evil uh except. Jesus and so we've got to somehow become. less selfish people we've got to become. better people and that just that took a. couple years to gain a level of. selflessness that would actually make. marriage uh be. good and that that was a hard that was a. hard fought War cuz I thought I was a.

pretty selfless guy before I got married. I'm doing Ministry and had some money. from military and so I would take out. big groups of friends and I'd pick up. the check and I was in my own like Gruff. military way of like I thought I was. infiltrating into the civilian populace. and I'd become one of them and all of. them look like I'm this wildly intense. gii Joe action figure come to life like. hardcore and and a little bit. Psychopathic that's how I was perceived.

and I would find this out much later. that I wasn't this super spy Houdini. infiltrating the like no one knows where. I just came from no everyone was keenly. aware intuitively that I just stepped. off the. battlefield uh so I was an intense force. to be reckoned with relationally even. though I was doing everything I felt. like I could in my power to be selfless. and loving and kind still me trying my. hardest was still way too.

harsh uh to nurture uh a new Blushing. Bride I thought I was being sweet and. understanding and patient and selfless. because I was trying hard and compared. to my former peers I was but I still. wasn't good enough to actually um. flourish this woman I'd been given and I. had to get better. how was.

that journey to Improvement. initiated uh the Lord had to deal with. me specifically is I had to just bump in. of like so I thought I was a selfless. guy and then you get married and all of. a sudden I don't have me time anymore. it's us time when I'm not I'm I'm I'm. working and I'm working on a degree so. I'm full-time school and work and now.

you know I've got a bride to think about. and when I have downtime it's kind of. like I'm just going to sit on the TV or. sit on the couch and I'm G to watch. Conan the. Barbarian Arnold Schwarzenegger I'm. going to bring it way back fun story. that was one of the very first movies we. ever watched together nice uh so uh. anyway I'm GNA watch that and she's like. well I don't want to watch that I'm like. all right well have a good one. I don't know what's good in the there's. another TV over in that room yeah fantas.

that's fine have fun with it and then. you know maybe you do compromise on. movie like fine we'll watch Over the. Hedge boo watch a cartoon movie and. she's like all right it's not so bad. she's soft she's sweet I like cuddling. up with her I'm like all right well what. do you want to watch now college kid you. know I'm like let's watch back to back. double. header now now it takes me and my wife. three nights to finish one movie I'm. right there with you like sometimes. longer but like we used to do double.

headers like we watched The Lord of the. Rings trilogy in a day once like what. was I doing with my life College bunch. of bunch of unbelievable she's like I. don't want to do that you do you want to. go for a walk I'm like no I do not want. to go for a walk and then she'd get mad. at me and she'd be like well why w't you. go for a walk I'm like oh no I I will go. for a walk but you asked me if I wanted. to go for a walk I don't want to go for. a walk out outside lots of gats I don't.

want to do it I've walked outside enough. lately babe but so we got into all these. little interchanges and I had to learn. the ways that women. communicate uh and then we get in a. fight about the idea of like wanting to. go on a walk and will you go on a walk. and I'm upset of like well if you want. me to go on a walk just say will you go. on a walk with me she say I don't like. your tone and I'm like I don't like that. you're upset with my tone stop yelling. you're yelling and so it's just how in. the world do you communicate with this.

alternate. species you know of like holy cow uh. women were this Enigma machine and there. was this I remember we got in a. knockdown drag out drag out fight over. um face wash cuz a little bit later. after we hadn't been married too long we. started uh really needing to. budget you know and so we're budgeting. let's do good Finance stuff and she she.

goes to the store and I say hey babe. just get the necessities and she comes. back with this fancy face. wash uh and I'm like Becca I said. necessities and she's like well I needed. this I'm like no needs it's uh basic. food doesn't have to taste good uh Water. Shelter fire you know like needs she no. I needed this and I'm like we have soap. like but this is this special kind of.

fruu whatever poper soap that she needs. and she's got 12 different kinds of soap. that all have a c certain purpose and. I'm a little skeptical that all these. soaps are the same freaking thing with a. different rebranded bottle and mark up. prices I don't think I think the base is. just soap and then everything else is. this Cosmic game that Johnson and. Johnson plays with all of us I have no. idea and but anyway we paid a lot for. that and so we got in a fight about it. and it was something that started stupid. but our pride bumps into each other and.

our misunderstanding and so then I'm. like all right I'll do the mature thing. I'll ask all of our friends to weigh in. and we'll vote to figure out who which. one of us is Right which I say that was. the mature thing that wasn't the mature. thing that made everything worse and. made my friends feel really really. awkward and it did nothing uh to settle. me and my wife's dispute but these are. all little examples of Ranger John not. realizing how harsh Brash and stupid I. was and she didn't realize what a. Maneater she was I was harsh and she was.

controlling and so both of us had our. own different junk that we had to get. better on and so it was just awful. learning to communicate and if like oh I. would start out the effort completely. out of patience and then have to find. reservoirs of patients that I didn't. have uh and so man just little by little. I was made to grow so that I could.

actually do this gargantuan task of. loving this woman. well it's a hard thing to do to actually. truly love someone not as you think that. you're loving them but as they need and. want to be loved that's an entirely. different measure and it's much harder. and you have to pull it off or your. marriage has seeds of Destruction sewn. in it that you don't know about and that. will later blossom into.

divorce I'm glad we covered that I am. very glad we covered that move let's. move back a little bit and then I want. to hit femin I want to hit feminism uh I. want to go there uh and cover that but. transitioning from military to civilian. life a lot of people you you and I both. know this there's a suicide epidemic. going on in the veteran community. Community talk about it all the time you. know the drugs the depression the pts.

TBI now they're calling it operator. syndrome what what kind of challenges. did you face reintegrating in I was. ready to reintegrate and so I wanted a. new Mission and I kind of treated uh I. funny enough I treated moving in the. civilian World kind of as if I was going.

on a different type of mission and was. still in the military so perhaps I'm. pitching myself my own little operations. order you know and what I'm going to do. I'm going to move in to this area of. operation I'm going to uh train these. insurgents uh to be on home team we'll. call them. friends I'm like I don't know just made. it my next new mission to integrate into. this other worldly environment with with. people and.

um I I wanted to find a new Mission I. did not want to be one of these guys. that was looking backwards on what I had. done and I definitely knew it was going. to be a great barrier to making any new. relationships is if I had to uh com have. them compete against the folks that I. just had or to Lord it over as if to. shame them for not being Rangers I'm. like I just understood before I even met. any of them they will be weaker in many. ways they will drive me nuts but they're.

going to have attributes and and stuff. about them that's going to be better and. and cool and I went there um I went. there with more of an open hand. recognizing these civilians will be. better in some ways than my Ranger. buddies and they will be worse in others. and I just want to that's okay that. that's fine but improvise adapt overcome. right that's that's the special. operation Mantra well then carry that. into the civilian world the civilian.

world is not going to change for you you. have to change to be able to integrate. and if you don't find a new Mission and. you don't find a new Band of Brothers. you're not going to make it so whatever. PTSD you have it will be made worse over. time because you do not have a new Band. of Brothers and you didn't find a new. Mission you just looked. back so live in the future live in the. present. live in the present and work toward the. toward a future that you are are are.

planning for but you have to find a new. Mission and you have to find a new. banded brothers and they're not going to. look anything like your past uh banded. Brothers but understand that they are. better in some ways than your old banded. Brothers find out how they're uniquely. better it's going to be easy for you to. spot how they're worse they're going to. be worse in a bunch of different way. that's easy you I don't need to tell you. to do that you'll know how they're worse. like why isn't anyone on time what. you're supposed to be 15 minutes early. or you're late you know what why is it.

why is anyone taking any of this serious. do you think that's what we default to. cuz it's an interesting point in a. perspective that I've not thought of or. heard of why do you think that and this. isn't I don't believe this is just soft. veterans or veterans I think this is. just Humanity but you know when you. say you'll automatically know how. they're worse mhm why do you think we. always default to that mode we never. look to for how they're better yeah we.

always look at uh they're not as good. you know we are quick to look at the. flaws why do you. think why do I think we do. that oh man that's a tough question I. think that I do that and I could be. wrong you know I haven't had time to. think about this but I think that that. happens because we had we had spoken.

about this earlier in Special Operations. Community you are always striving for. Perfection that's good there is no room. for Everything's a. competition fastest shooter fastest. runner fastest swimmer strongest guy. most kills most operations longest end. doesn't matter everything you do in. Special Operations is to prove your. worthiness yeah and and and to strive.

for Perfection and and earn your keep. and I think that that probably has. something to do with it I mean what do. you do after every single house. run what do you do debrief it run it. again debrief it run it again debrief it. run it again where did we mess up you. don't get compliments during those. debriefs it's all critiques yeah. constructive criticism and so I think. that that probably plays a major role in.

in why I'm like that yeah you know but I. I think. that all of humanity is like that maybe. we're like that a little bit more over. the top you know in that in in in in. that aspect but yeah what's your take. yeah I I'd agree with that I think. that's a good read and to expand it to. say hey I think it's just a human nature. thing as well and Special Operations it. take certain some good and bad elements.

of human nature and write it really. large right at high uh and so that means. You' be really good at certain Virtues. Of Courage but but really good at. certain vices too so uh but I mean even. like uh you know soccer mom they want. the best house in the neighborhood with. the kids who are best at Sports and make. the best grades and you know you got the. the newest shinest brightest stroller. with the newest Minivan and of like.

everybody wants to be somebody and. you're keeping up with the Joneses and. you're climbing that corporate ladder at. work and you made the most money and you. got the corner office and the and so you. know maximizing performance and wealth. and status and to be critical of other. folks and I think it's just Pride it's. ego I want to believe awesome things. about me and there's two ways for me to. believe great things about me cuz I want. to believe I'm amazing and that's one is. I've got to accomplish and be the best.

and two I need everyone below me and it. is easier than earning and excelling it. is easier to just criticize and we have. this insatiable me monster this pride. thing going on it's part of why I don't. like do an interviews I'm like man I've. talked about myself so much I feel very. uncomfortable that's why I just flipped. of like you asked me a question I'm like. well what do you think I'm tired of. talking about. me I'm so sick of me my wife's going to. ask me something about me I'm like.

please God no don't talk about me. anymore baby talk about anything else. Under the Sun Shan wore me out for the. month on me but maybe that's in our. human nature you know of just to. criticize and to pull people down so I. feel better about me and it's an ugly. thing let's talk about let's move into. some of your mission work sure when did. that happen so my wife and I were. married uh we worked through those. couple years and they were really hard.

after those two years of being married. we started it started getting better. started getting fun year three year four. going real well I went into a business. started a business and that went very. well and um you know I was making good. money I started it from scratch and so. and I'm working on a business degree. simultaneously it took me a long time. because I didn't uh finish my degree. right off I I kept working I was working.

full-time started a company and and. married and then we moved and I went to. a different college and so was it your. current company that you started this is. an entirely different uh entirely. different company let's go on that okay. sure what was that company so it worked. on Commercial uh kitchen fire. extinguisher equipment so in all the. restaurants there's this fire. suppression system that automatically. puts out fires and so so um I helped. start and then run a company that.

installed and serviced and maintained. those things they have to be maintained. every six months so it's a Recession. Proof type business that allows for you. know repeat whatever and so I did all. the marketing the sales and naming and. you know the books and the service until. finally I could get a few other people. working it and. uh brought that up made it successful I. had it in the black within just a couple.

months and wrote my own salary uh for it. and so it was successful right up and. and I worked that gig for uh couple. years um now that was happening my wife. and I we were in a big house we were. enjoying it she had this hot little Audi. convertible that I'd bought her and. those were some fun happy years we've. been married about 3ish four years and. it was going really well we we were.

having some fun and we were kind of we. had two firm hands on the American dream. we were doing it and it was. cool um now the next thing would be a. little disruptive my wife and I are both. very interested in Ministry though we're. both working jobs so she's working at. this time too we don't have any. kids um we are dreaming about hey you. know would be real cool cool if we did. some missions work one day I'm like well.

what are you thinking like a week or so. I'm like man it'd be fun to do something. longer to really give. ourselves to a a greater service let's. really shake it up let's really help. some folks let's do something radical. for the Lord Let's do let's do a grand. gesture let's do a great and so that was. really attractive it that was filled. with you know uh sacrificial service. which was very attractive to us well. love the Lord well well and it'll be a. fun adventure and if you don't do it.

when you're young when are you going to. do it and so we're like yeah let's let's. punch out I would do something like that. and then one one night at church an. opportunity came by and somebody said. hey who would like to go uh you know do. this missions work for a year and we're. kind of like a year year would you do a. year I like I think I do a year I'm like. all right. well hey what so just kind of. up uh or we did more due diligence than. that we talked about we saw exactly what.

was going on and what that mission. looked like and saw if it was a good fit. but very very quickly we flexed on that. and we decided all right we'll do that. and we rented out our house we boxed up. all our stuff we put it in storage and. then we punched out for the mission. field and we didn't really do a lot of. support Rising we just feel I got some. money we'll just I I'll fund the mission. you know and so we had a little bit of. help but really uh we we helped fund it. and so I had some I had some savings and. I'm like this will be this will be fun.

and so that's what we ended up doing um. we ended up going to San Jose Costa Rica. so don't think beaches think inner city. uh and so dirty smoggy every once in a. while we'd punch out and go see pretty. beaches but don't think Beach we're. inner city you know uh lot of poverty. there yeah a lot of poverty you know a. lot of people didn't have electricity or. or plumbing and so we'd be there but we. were also right there by the University. of Costa Rica user and so um there was.

that we planted a church there uh we. were live-in kind of student life. directors for 30 different college. students College college age students. from all over the United States who. would go there to learn Bible engage in. missions and learn Spanish and so we. were kind of uh their student stent life. directors now on mission where we're. doing all this including a plant uh.

planting a church that I was the uh. pastor of I was teaching Bible uh. classes because I found out of like I. can I really like teaching and I found. out not only did I like it I was I was. pretty good at it now I'd already done. some teaching in the military uh I had. an affinity for combatives like in. Ranger in rip I won our I won the. combatives cont contest for all of rip. that was a lot of people that was good. and in ranger battalion I was one of the.

early guys who was really good at. Jiu-Jitsu combatives at ranger battalion. and so that was an old hat and I teach. that and i' teach him the medical and as. a team leader you're always teaching you. know how it is squad leader you're. teaching as well and I was pretty good. at it uh but I I found that I got like a. spiritual gift of knowledge and teaching. at conversion I was a terrible student. uh my whole life up until convers. version and then all of a sudden I. became a good student who loved reading. just overnight a love of reading clicked.

on in my brain wasn't there and then it. was there uh and so I've read hundreds. and hundreds of books now and uh uh. these years on the mission field I would. spend for four four years I spent abroad. on the mission on the Christian Mission. field and I fell into deep deep study. and this is is theology this is. philosophy Christian world view.

apologetics all theologies of myology. eesi eschatology soteriology all. theologies and whatever of hermeneutics. homiletics exegesis of like I studied I. studied church history I fell in love. with it and so I would. spend wild amounts of time studying like. I would get lost in books where I would. forget to eat I would just just get. caught up like almost in a trance and I. would look up and I would have I would. have studied 8 hours straight wow and.

then when I wasn't studying I was. teaching this is where I learned to. teach is on the mission field and later. that teaching knowledge would pour over. in to teaching tactical stuff not the. subject matter of what I'm teaching. changed dramatically but the actually. delivery and being able to connect with. students and be light-hearted and then. come in strong of all the teaching I was. doing hours every day for years. years and theology is my favorite. subject to teach and I did it for years.

and and loved. it when was the warrior Poet Society. formed so did missions work for years. then I would come back I would get into. the Tactical training space so I'm. leaving Ministry now and I want to get. back into the only real skill I have was. rangering you know it's hey let's do. gunfight stuff and night vision training. and so I uh was working a job for a.

different company uh as a tactical. trainer and I did that for a few years. I'm I'm curious why you didn't go back. to the fire extinguisher business or the. fire suppression business in. kitchens um I could sounds like You'. built a pretty successful company doing. I could have but it was someone else uh. was the owner of it and I came in and. created de uh you know work there I. should have been a partner wasn't uh and.

then it end up I was just the general. manager and so when I went for the. mission field basically here's the keys. and I had no stake and so it wasn't it. wasn't mine you know and so anyway that. was handed off so that it I could have. come back to it I think that was. available uh to come back to but um I. don't know I had a different opportunity. and I was going to go back in into this. so or back into the old military stuff. now I had to start kind of gearing up.

training because on the mission field I. had dwindled away to like I had a. librarian body I dwindled away into a. skeleton I was. maybe 15 20 pounds lighter than I am. right now I I was I got skinny because I. just read and teach all day uh so. started training up and then got back. got into the Tactical training and I did. that for a number of years um they were. after more like military and law. enforcement contracts and after training.

SWAT and night vision and stuff and I. wanted to leverage social media to. access the civilian populace for. everyday carry that's what I was after. and so there was a quite a natural. departure and Warrior Poet Society was. born through it in that um I wanted to. bring to I wanted to I was on a certain. Journey uh and I called it I came to. call it the warrior poet wayb way you. know Warrior Poet Society that was my. own personal Journey where I'm trying to.

reconcile these different parts of me. where I uh believe that a man should be. fierce and strong and courageous and. longsuffering and gritty and hard to. kill and a good protector and all the. virtues of a warrior of a strong man but. I also recognized and that's not enough. you also need to. adore your children and be emotionally.

available to them and you need to. romantically pursue your spouse and uh. you need to be compassionate and loving. and. self-sacrificing and appreciate Beauty. and revel in awe and all these. attributes that kind of like that's the. that's the good stuff that's the fire. and the blood we don't fight just to. keep fighting of like it's it's not just.

fighting for freedom but it's there's. the enjoyment of Freedom it's like I I. like to say of like Warrior poet you see. these two different elements and you. could even say well what is the more. important of the two and I say I think. poet is more important and this is why. uh the founders of the United States uh. pinned our Bill of Rights the first one. uh freedom of speech freedom of press of. religion uh assembly all the good stuff.

packed there you can say what you want. you can meet with who you want. government can't stop you from doing it. uh you know we have the in alible rights. to life liberty the pursuit of happiness. that kind of stuff protected and. embodied in the First Amendment they. listed it first because to them it was. preeminent it was most important this is. the freedoms that you're supposed to do. now that's the most important but the. Second Amendment is the only way you. keep it that's it and so you have the. right to bear arms meaning you got the.

most important stuff and you get to. guard it from us your government so it's. the second amendment because the first. amendment isn't possible to keep without. the Second Amendment and so whereas the. warrior uh and the fight exists as a. means to an end the beauty and love and. relationships is an end in and up itself. freedom of religion Rel Faith Family.

speech ideas that's where all that stuff. is it's the poet right and so I want to. be a good warrior and poet because I. realize a man should be fully both you. should be a lion and you should be a. lamb a lion you know if you're all lion. you may be able to protect your family. but you will not keep them that is Out. Of Reach you will divorce your family. will fall into sha uh into pieces and.

it'll probably be your fault. lion uh and a. lamb um a lamb is not going to keep the. respect of a wife for very long she'll. love you but I mean she she she desires. you know somebody who can protect and. provide and lead a woman wants to be led. in many ways uh and you know despite. what uh the feminist would say I still. believe women want to be swept off their. feet you know well let's take a break.

and uh not a break break but let's let's. I wanted to touch on feminism sure next. on the Shawn Ryan. show but your point remains no one no. one trusts the government point being. why would you trust your kids to be. educated by the government if like what. happened to our kids I'm like well you. gave them to the government for for. their entire childhood and social media. helped not hurts to say cuz I know it. hurts people to hear but the government. raised them and that's what happened.

government and social media um hijacked. a generation what do you think the goal. is behind that. control control of. [Music]. everything hey everybody I'm Shan Ryan. click here to subscribe to the Sha Ryan. Show YouTube channel for the hottest and. most compelling interviews that you will.

not see anywhere else I've also made a. playlist of all the previous SRS. episodes so they're easy to find you can. find that right here.