Dave Mustaine - Megadeth Co-Founder & Frontman | SRS #203

[Music]. Dave. Mustain, welcome to the show. You're. welcome. Thank you for having me, man. I've been super excited about this. Huge. Mega Death fan. Grew up listening to. that stuff and just to have you here is. like unreal. So, thank you for coming. Of course. But, um, yeah. So, we're. going to do a life story on you starting. a childhood all the way to today. So,

could be a long day. You in for it? I. remember I was there, so should be. pretty pretty easy. Cool. Well, everybody starts with an introduction. So, here we go. Dave Mustain, co-founder. of Metallica, where you helped lay the. groundwork for Thrash Metal before. parting ways in 1983. mastermind behind. Mega Death, a band that sold over 50. million records, earned six platinum.

albums and even a Grammy in 2017 for. Dystopia. Working on your 17th Meade. Death album to be released later this. year. In June, you'll celebrate the 40th. anniversary of Meade Death's debut. album, Killing Is My Business, and. Business is Good. Thrash metal pioneer. whose guitar prowess has landed you. among the top guitarists of all time. influencing generations of headbangers. Cancer survivor having beaten throat. cancer in 2019 while still crafting one.

of Meade Death's fiercest album, The. Sick, The Dying, and the Dead, which is. the topic of a book you're working on. called In My Darkest. Hour. Now, a Vitner with House of. Mustain, blending your passion for music. with fine wine making. Relaunching Mega. Death beer in the UK and Europe with a. Pzner IPA and zero beer called. Rattlehead. A family man married to. Pamela since 1991 with two children,

Electra and Justice. And most important. out of everything, you're a. Christian. Did I miss anything? Sure. I. missed a lot. Uh, no. I think that that. was very very honoring. Thank you for. that. I I'm you know I did sell about 40. to 50 million records with Metallica. So. um it was you know about about 100. million records. So Wow. 100 million. records. Yeah. That's that's.

that's a third of the country. That's. insane. That's insane. But. um so everybody gets a gift on the. show. Nothing crazy. Vigilance Elite Gummy Bears made here in. the USA. Legal in all 50 states. It's. horrible for you. 38%. I'll be eating these during the show,

man. Just candy. Just candy. And then my pleasure. And then lastly, we have a Patreon account. It's a. community and uh subscription service. that's actually turned into a community. and they've been with me since the very. beginning when I started this in my. attic and then we moved here and now. we're moving to a new studio and they've. just supported me and they're the reason. that I get to sit here and do this. Wow. And um yeah, so one of the things that I. do is uh I offer them the opportunity to.

ask each and every guest a question. And. so this is from Stephen Casey. I heard Dave practiced V, excuse me. I. heard Dave practiced Brazilian. jiu-jitsu. How did you get into that? Also, how does your world view affect. your music theme and focus? Uh, I'll ask the the second question. first. Um, h how does it affect my.

worldview and focus? How does martial. arts affect my worldview and focus? I think that's where he's going. I think. he's talking more about your music. How. does your world view affect your music. theme and focus? Yeah, that's what I. thought. So, my worldview um is uh you. know, it's in flux. It it um it changes. over time. You know, something that I. thought was okay when I was a teenager. certainly isn't okay now. Stuff that I.

thought wasn't okay um seems absolutely. normal right now. Um, you know, my. thinking evolves just like anybody who. has an open mind. I've been around the. world and I've seen so many things that. it makes me really grateful for where we. live, but it also makes me grateful for. the the way in which we live. Um, you. going to some of the other countries. that are are socialist countries or or. other countries that maybe are third. world countries and the poverty level is. is extreme. um you know you want to say.

hey this person is just like me and they. are physiologically but when it comes. down to um anything beyond them just. standing in front of you their whole. existence is completely different you. know I can't go down to South America. for example and expect somebody who's a. fan uh who is living under those those. uh pressures of of poverty to know what. it's like to have your own house I.

learned learned a long time ago that the. young people in Japan uh had a decision. to make whether they were willing to. purchase a vehicle or a house. They. could not do both. And then to get back. to your first question about um. Brazilian martial art, um I I'm working. on my fourth black belt right now in in. BJJ and uh it started with Benny the Jet. Yukitz who was in the black belt hall of. fame and he was my first black belt that. I got in Yukino and that was back in the.

90s and um after that I I moved to. Arizona so I was unable to train with. Sensei Benny anymore and the closest, most convenient place for me to go work. out was a taekwondo school that was. there and um I I got a black belt in. that really fast and I was going for the. master program and and I started to. notice there were holes in the program. like I was teaching a kids class and I. grabbed the bottom of his ghee and I. pulled on it and he f he fell and he.

started crying and I felt terrible and. then I thought you know this this. program doesn't teach people how to fall. But in the meantime, I had gotten my. black belt with that uh um organization. and then we went to Korea and I got my. my uh third black belt in uh Taekwondo. and um I got my fourth degree with the. World Taekwondo Federation and uh um Mr. Chung was the uh amb he was the uh.

president at the time. He was the one. that had presented me my awards and my. belts. And then the one thing that I. always wanted to do was uh ground. fighting because Yuko Khan is a hybrid. of nine different styles. And one of. those styles is jiu-jitsu. And it. doesn't mean that it's Brazilian. jiu-jitsu or man on the moon jiu-jitsu. It's jiu-jitsu. But um I found a school. here. Uh, I I went there and I didn't.

like the instructor, but I liked or the. owner, but I liked the head instructor. there. And uh, so much so that I helped. him get a school on his own. We we moved. away from that original school. He. opened up a school in Spring Hill and he. opened up a second school in Colombia. and it's uh, Renzo Gracie uh, Jiujitsu. So, I'm I I have my night my uh brown. belt right now and and uh if everything. goes according to plan and I stay in in. uh my training routine, I probably will.

have my black belt uh sometime the end. of this year or next year. Wow. Wow. Long question. I'm sorry. No, that's I mean, what what got you. interested in it at the beginning? Getting beaten up. Getting beaten up. Yeah. I I the one thing I I did know. before I knew how to fight was that I. didn't like taking [ __ ] from people. I. didn't know how to defend myself, but I. knew I did not like taking [ __ ] from. people. And um 12 years old, I joined uh.

the YMCA. My brother-in-law was the. chief of police in Stanton, California, and he uh told me that the YMCA across. from the police department was doing. free karate classes. When I went it was. Shaenriu, so it was more the traditional. karate style. And I remember when I went. and and started uh taking classes there. The first thing we did it was like. within the first couple classes was a.

tournament and you know I I was still a. white belt and and you know there's no. striking to the face. no striking to the. groin and and first guy that I competed. against kicked me in the groin and and. smacked me in the face and and he was. DQed but didn't change the fact that I. could not finish and um so I just said. that's that's it for me and I I went a. different round and and I started. training in kung fu sansu after that for. a little while. So, I've had uh uh.

various training in different styles, but I still think the best defense is. to, you know, keep your eyes open and. don't be a dick. Wow. Wow. Four four. soon to be four black belts. Holy [ __ ]. man. That's a lot of training. What's. What's your training regimen like? Do. you train often? Well, I I have two. privates a week and I have a gym in my. house. Um, one of your friends uh knows where.

we're at and has been there. So, it's a. it's a little bit more than home gym. It's kind of like a semi-professional. gym. We still need some stuff there, but. uh it has everything that you need to. get a a good workout in. Man, that's. awesome. Mhm. Well, Dave, let's let's get into. the life story. Where where did you grow. up? All over the place. My mom and dad. got divorced when I was four. And uh I. was born in La Mesa. And at that time,

all I really remember was about four. years old when I was baptized as a. Lutheran. And then my mom and dad got a. divorce. And thus started the uh Leaprog. game with my mom and and the two. youngest children that she had, myself. and my sister Debbie. And whenever we. would move, my dad would find us and um. usually would show up drunk and and um.

you know, I loved him. I I didn't. understand alcoholism at the time. I was. just a kid and I I certainly didn't. understand why they didn't try to get. him into a program like a 12step program. because they were in existence at the. time. But um so four four years old. until 13 I was with my mom. We'd move. from one sister to another sister to my. aunt on our own, back to another sister, back to the other sister, and it was.

always me and my my sister Debbie um who. would be doing this leaprogging because. my two older sisters had both been. married and had family, so they had some. stability. I never knew that. My mom was. a Jehovah's Witness and when I. was 13, I started playing guitar and and. at about 15 years old, she said she'd. had enough and uh she moved out and left. me alone in an apartment and no money to. pay rent. So, I uh did not know what to.

do and I knew it was just a matter of. time before I was going to lose the. apartment. So, I did what any kid would. do. I I became an entrepreneur and I. became a distributor of sorts and um so. I was able to uh sell some stuff and and. be able to pay my rent and and. eventually I was making enough money. where I had a car and I was able to get.

some musical equipment. But the meantime, we're still we're. still facing all the moves that had. happened before then. And then as soon. as um I I hooked up with Metallica, the. moving continued and moved from. Huntington Beach up to San Francisco out. to New York, back to California to Costa. Mesa, then up to Los Angeles where I. finally started Mega Death. Whoa. Let's.

rewind a little bit. There's a lot to. unpack there. Sure. You asked four years. old. Your parents separate. How many. siblings do you have? I have three. Debbie is three years older than me and. the other two were 15 and 18 years older. than me and are both deceased. Were you close with them? Uh the oldest. one? Yeah. But after a while because. they were um following the guidelines of. their religion and I was supposedly a. worldly person and they uh did what.

their religion calls for. I was. dysfellowshipped. um not uh officially but basically I was. not allowed to be around anybody. Couldn't I couldn't come to meetings. I. couldn't go to uh witnesses houses and. stuff like that. And I didn't care. because I hated that religion. So were. you I mean my my editor and good friend. uh grew up as a Jehovah's Witness and.

then I don't know if you would call it. escaped it but that's what I call it. escaped it cuz it sounds. very extremely cultish. Yeah. and um and. they have they have destroyed his his. relationship with his son and the rest. of his. family is Did you get sucked into the. religion? No, I didn't I didn't like it. I you know I'm a kid. I want to watch.

[ __ ] cartoons, man. I don't want to. go to church. And when they would say, "Okay, you're going to not only are you. going to go out to church, but on the. other day on the weekend, you're going. to go out and knock on strangers doors. and try and sell them [ __ ] that they. don't want." Right? I mean, there people. that the houses you knock on the doors. probably have the same outlook I do. I. don't want to be bothered on Sunday cuz. I'm scratching my belly in my pajamas. and I'm watching, you know, college. sports. So, you know, that that that. kind of a thing. Um it to me it it just.

sucked. And then having the holidays. taken away, not being able to hang out. with friends. You know, you make friends. in. school and then they say, "Hey, you want. to come over?" "Oh, I can't." "Why?". "Cuz my mom's. nuts." When your metabolism is working. properly, you can feel the benefits in. literally every aspect of your life. Lumen is one of the world's first. handheld metabolic coaches. It's a. device that can help measure your. metabolism through your breath. All you.

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off your first order. That's. tr.com/srs. These statements and. products have not been evaluated by the. FDA. These products are not intended to. diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any. disease or condition. Jeez. What What age did that start? Did. they What age start? I think she uh I. think I was seven when she started and. it went on until uh she moved out.

because, you know, I was selling pot for. a living. I you know, what else does a. 15-year-old have to do? Sell his ass, sell pot. You know, I wasn't going to. sell my ass. I soul pod and you know I. would go to rehearsal and and um I I. would I would say um to my mom before. she had um moved out you know I I had a. a beginning of a a relationship with. marijuana. So, um, sometimes I would.

have some and I would I would leave it. and I would say, "Hey, somebody's coming. by. Just just, uh, there's something by. the door. Just tell them to leave the. money." You know, say that. I think that. happened maybe like two, three times. And then that was it. She was. gone. Well, older sisters, uh, Michelle, the oldest one, um, she actually was not. one of the witnesses for a very long. time. She actually went into witchcraft. That's where I learned my witchcraft. from was my oldest sister Michelle. And.

then um she uh she somehow got, you. know, re-recruited and and she ended up. being a witness again at the end. And um. she would talk to me, but it it was like. kind of like a an aunt kind of thing. And then my my uh sister that was. younger than her, the one that was 15. years older than me, she was she didn't. want to have anything to do with me. She. just died. And and um even though she. was awful to me, I I uh I did the right.

thing and and paid for her to go to. hospice and uh paid for a nurse to be. with them. You know, for me, I I work. really hard for my money. And it was um. for anybody else, it would have been a. difficult decision. You know, if I would. have thought about this is the sister. who's treated you like [ __ ] your entire. life. Why are you going to do this? And. it ain't about what what she thinks. It's about what God thinks. You know. what? Am I doing the right thing with.

what I'm getting given? You know, my. funds, my. gifts, you know, it can be used for very. bad stuff. Was that a Was that a tough decision for. you? to help my sister try to pass into the. next world. You know, I thought she. being a Jehovah's Witness would be so. eager to get into uh heaven, you know. I. mean, I don't understand the concept of. heaven. So, um I.

uh I I would I would have thought she. would have said, you know, chuck this. old body, man. I'm out of here. But, you. know, she fought and fought and fought. and fought and fought and fought and. fought and. uh finally um the government out in. California put her into hospice. You. know, I'd been paying for a very long. time for a nurse for her. You know, when. um. people wonder what I spend my money on, that was a lot of it was paying for my.

sister transition into, you know, into. death. Um, and then the the uh youngest. one who's a little bit older than me, um, she's uh got a little bit of a. mental illness. So, um, I don't know. what you would call if it's depression. or if it's, you know, what. I don't I. don't know. But, um, we still talk, but she kind. of talks like a baby when she talks to. me. So, um, that's a little weird. And,

um, you know, every family has this. stuff. We all do. We all We all, you. know, it's either it's either your. immediate bloodline, your your family of. origin, you know, maybe your family of. choice, your best friend, you know, I. mean, I know a lot of people who I've. been close with that that aren't here. anymore. And I'm thinking, for [ __ ]. sake, man, I'm only 63. How how how is. it that you've died already? I feel like. I've still got a lot of life left in me. Man, did you did you ever get to make.

amends with your sister before she. passed? Oh, yeah. I did that a long time. ago. I uh I did go through the 12step. program and I made my my personal moral. inventory of of everything that I'd done. and and I read it to my sponsor and then. um I I got prepared to go out and make. amends to everybody except when to do so. would injure others. you know, I'm not. going to say my skin is somebody else's.

expense. And then, uh, I just continued. the last three steps, you know, keep. taking moral inventory of myself. Um, and carry the message, uh, in in all my. affairs. And, um, not not a 12step, but. it shows you how it worked in my life. I. can recite a lot of it. And, uh, it it. it all goes back, if you boil it down, it goes back to the sermon on mount. Anyways, it's just uh the biatitudes you. know that was adopted by the. Washingtonian group who got uh adopted.

by AA and then AA was the groundwork for. the other fellowships that came after. that like CA and NA and GA and OA. I know I know we're going to dive into. this in a little bit but how did your. sister get involved in witchcraft? Oh, Michelle was um she was a very. determined woman. She was one of the. first people who uh applied to join the.

Navy in our our county. And uh for some. reason the Navy wasn't accepting women. at the time. And um they just they just. it it I don't know if it was a moment. where they weren't accepting them or if. they hadn't opened up the idea of having. women in the Navy because I seem to. think that there were women in the Navy. that were really old and it just kind of. defies logic that she wouldn't be able. to do it unless there was a a moment. where they said we're not taking any.

more women. Um but uh she was really. determined and she married a guy that I. I uh really just I I looked up to him so. much. Um he's my my brother-in-law Stan. And I already told you about the first. one who was the chief of police in in uh. Stanton, California. Well, this one was. a motorcycle cop for the California. Highway Patrol. I don't know what's up. with my sisters being drawn to Leos, but. you know, it it it is what it is. So.

that particularly sucked when my mom. would move in with my sister because. they were both very large men and they. would have to do the unthinkable. And I. know they hated it, but they would come. home and my sister would say, "Well, David was the oldest and these guys got. in trouble, so he's had his nose in the. corner for an hour and you need to give. him a spank." And the [ __ ] all both. had gun belts. And that's what I got. spanked with was the the uh the leather. belt that they kept their all of their.

tools. on. But I thought he would they would So. your sister's husbands would discipline. you. Yeah. Cuz I didn't have a dad in. the picture. My mom would uh empower. them to be my surrogate role model, uh. surrogate father kind of thing. So it. was really [ __ ] up. It was psychotic. This is part of that whole witness. thing. So, um, you know, what do you. mean it's part of the witness thing? Well, when you have problems with. somebody who needs to be disciplined, they, uh, they help, uh, women that have.

kids that aren't listening by singling. them out and getting people around them. to talk to them in uh, usually a less. than uh, edifying way. And you know, um. I I was never um put in one of those. situations where my s my sister Debbie. was. She had done something gone out. somewhere with another guy that was in. the church that they went to and some.

girl that liked the guy made up a story. that they. were and uh never happened. But um the. church believed this other girl cuz her. dad was one of the executives in the. church. They call them overseers. So, of. course, you're going to believe the. daughter and run overseer because. they're they're hierarchy. They're uh. you know, they're they're pious. They're. they're without remor without any any. uh they're they're without any spot, no. blame. They're they're spotless, you.

know. So, their kid can come up with a. story like my sister banging some guy. and. and never happened. And of course she's. dysfellowshipped and that traumatizes. her because again the social uh circles. and what happens when you don't have. people that you associate with on a. regular basis. I was talking to Darren. earlier and I told him I said you know. we have the people that we would. associate with and there would be you. know two days we'd see people on.

Wednesdays and on Sundays uh unless you. went out in service on Saturdays and and. you didn't really get a chance to. associate with people so your social. life was very. stunted it it was uh I feel like a lot. of the young people in in organized. religion you know they they this. particular and didn't think about the. social uh hardships that it was going to. be for young people growing up. You. know, it's kind of like the Might. Shyamalan's movie, The Village. You.

know, we were we were in the village. Wow. Wow. And your sisters were okay. with. with her. Were they husbands or they. were husbands? Yeah, they're my brother-in-law's. How. bad did it get the the spankings? Yeah. Uh, well, you know, the gun belt's like. two, three inches wide, and it's about. 38 of an inch thick leather, so one swat. with that hurt like hell. And, uh, you. know, it it it wasn't like I was beat.

every day, but whenever anybody got in. trouble, I got it because I was the. oldest. And I had uh both of those sisters had. kids that were just a little bit younger. than me that were boys. So we would all. be together. Even though I was their. uncle, we would go out and do stuff as. three kids cuz we're all we had. We. didn't have anybody else. You know, we. weren't allowed to play with normal. people. And you know, we we would go. someplace, we would shoplift something,

we would light a fire in a field, we. would break something, we'd throw a. ball, you know, break out a street. light, throw somebody's shoes over a. wire, whatever. And um they would just. go nuts. So damn. How did she get into. witchcraft? Oh, Michelle. Yeah. So she. got into this thing with with Stan. She. married Stan. Stan was like I said, he. was a really really groovy guy. Was. really awesome guy. Good-looking and and.

uh you know rode a Harley. I mean first. thing in the morning the whole [ __ ]. neighborhood vibrated and and who. wouldn't want to be married to a cop. like that? So, and and his his uh tour. that he had to do every day was Pacific. Coast Highway in Huntington Beach. That. doesn't suck, right? So, anyways, he. left her and uh she was heartbroken and. she went. uh crazy and she started uh pursuing. alternate means because God had not.

worked for her. the God of the witnesses. that she'd been praying for her husband. to come back. Didn't work for her. And. she I I had ran away from home and I. moved up to Idaho and I was living with. her and um her kids in a trailer, which. was awful. Just [ __ ] awful. and she'd. went to work one day and and I started. playing hookie from school because my.

nephew had told people at the school I I. was a martial artist guy and the first. day I got there I got coldcocked and uh. I figured I'm not going to the school. because I'm not going to deal with this. every day. So I started playing hookie. I figured I would run away back to home. But one day I went back into where her. bedroom was and there was a candle that. was on her desk that had melted and it. had some uh substance in the top of it. like moss. And uh there was a picture. that was burnt in half and it was a.

um a hex to have him leave the girl he. left my sister for who was a big blonde. bombshell from a bar and to. uh come back to my sister who was not a. big bombshell blonde. Um, and I'll be. damned if he didn't come back. Are you. serious? He came back. He came back. So, I figured, um, wow, this has got to.

work. And I saw the book. It was just a. little, uh, piece of paper. Uh, it was. like, you know, you fold it in half and. that's a page. And it was like a 20page. booklet or something like that. And it. had a couple hex's in there. And I tried. two of them and they both worked too. So. um at that point I had to tell my wife. what I had done and we started on the. journey of trying to get the oppression. the the um the demonic oppression that. had happened to me by opening up my my.

uh defenses and and asking for you know. the dark prince to help me put a a hex. on somebody. Um, that really [ __ ] my. life up and it took years for us to get. out of it because we were we were going. to like San Francisco up to Filipino. priests that would lay hands on you and. I had some Indian rajas that would do. cupping and and acupuncture and crazy. stuff like that. What were your hexes?

Well, one was. um one was something that had to do with. the guy that actually punched me at. school. Um, what happened was we. uh we went to school that. day. Excuse me. We went to school that. day and um the guy walked up to me and. just slugged me and he said he was going. to see me after school. Now, we rode a. normal school bus to one point and then.

the bus stopped and all the kids got out. for a smaller bus that would take us out. into the rural area. And uh so we stop, we get out, and. everybody circles around the two of us. like we're going to fight right there. And I'm thinking, "Oh my god, this is. going down." So everything I'd learned. up to that point, you know, um was was. going through my mind. And uh the second. bus shows up and we get in the bus and. and we we take off and uh he's coming up.

to his house and he walks through the. the walkway in the bus and elbows me in. the back of the head as he's getting. out. And I was trying to fit in. So I. had a mouthful of red man and I was um. trying to get into the whole chew and. tobacco thing because that's what. everybody else was doing. And when he. hit me, I went and I swallowed that. [ __ ] So I went back to my sister's. trailer and I got really really sick and. I. figured that's it. I'm going to do. something about this. So I looked.

through the book and I found something. that would do what I wanted and and I I. did that hex. And then there was another. one. What what what did you want to. happen? Well, I I really don't want to. get into it because I don't want anybody. to be misled and try and figure out what. I did and and go down that route because. it's it was a terrible deviation from. what was good and and right in the world. for me, you know. Of course, that powers. out there, you know, without black. there's no white. But it was just it was.

just for me after that happened, I. realized that I don't want to really. don't want to talk about this. Really. don't want to get anybody interested in. it, you know. So, so I'll talk about it. to the degree that I'm comfortable with. where I know that nobody can be misled. from it. And then you and then and then you did. another one. I did a second one and that. one was um it was something when I had. moved back to California already. And uh.

there was some somebody that I wanted. and uh I was just, you know, I was an. ugly red-headed freckle-faced kid with. short hair and sweat rings and and I I. uh didn't have any chance of being with. this girl. But everybody in school. wanted to be with this girl. So I. figured what the hell, you know? I say. that quite a lot in my life, right? Um, and. uh, we were together and then we. weren't. But it worked again. Wow. Yeah.

So, what what is I mean I don't know. much about witchcraft. What you don't. want to what what is. the in a snapshot what what is it? Is. it? Well, um there there there there is. a uh understanding that there are black. witches and white witches, that there. are witches that do good. Um but. witchcraft is still witchcraft. It's the. use of the elements and and uh you know.

there's alchemy, there's wizardry, sorcery, electricity, um magic, there's. uh um use of blood, use of spit, use of. sperm, use of um all of these things. that are all part of uh. um what was created and being used in an. unnatural way. So, um, you know, for me, I I when I walked.

away from practicing any kind of. witchcraft, because I I I didn't. practice it. I did it two times and both. of them worked. And then I went, "This. is bigger than I am, and I'm I'm not. going to mess around with this." And so, um, wrote the song The Conjuring. And. uh then there was another song that was. kind of along uh from that inspiration. from that experience. It was bad omen. Wow. You know earlier you had mentioned.

when we were talking about your sister. passing you had mentioned that you don't. understand the concept of heaven. Mhm. Do you still not understand the concept. of heaven? Well, no. See, that's probably, you know, as soon. as I said that, I thought, you know, there's probably going to some be be. some people that think I don't believe. in heaven. See, the thing is is I I I'm. willing to believe in it. And I'm. willing to be wrong. It's like Pascal's.

uh equation when he said it's better to. live like there's a god and die and find. out there isn't one than to live like. there is no god and die and find out. that there is one. So for me I I like uh. I I like to try and live my life as if. there is a god. And um I like to look. forward to my life um I I want to live a. long time. I don't I don't want to die. and go to heaven right now because I I'm.

in a very human way selfish and I want. to spend time with my family, with my. granddaughter, with my son, with my. daughter, with my. wife. Um I love making music. I My. career's full stop right now. And you. know, the idea of of just saying, "Oh, I. give up. Let's go." Ding, ding. You that. that to me is not what I want to do. I. do. I believe in streets of gold and and. all that kind of stuff. Well, there's a.

lot of uh documentation about that in in. the word, but you know, I I don't. necessarily remember everything because. of part of the cancer treatment. The. chemobrain is something that happens. when you get chemotherapy and and the. radiation and chemo treatment that I had. was really gnarly. So, um, do I believe when I die I'm. going to go to heaven? Yeah. Hope so. What do you envision heaven like? I.

don't know. See, that's the whole thing. I always have this picture of clouds and. a gate and you walk through it and then. it's like I think I, you know, do I want. to go to heaven? No. I want to spend. more time with my wife because if I go. to heaven and I'm not with her or if I. go to heaven and and we're not together. as a couple anymore, that that would. make me sad. And um you know I get real. emotional when I think about that so I. don't want to talk about. it. Rewinding just a little. bit. If you don't mind I'd like to dig a.

little bit more into childhood. Do. whatever you want. I've had a I just It. sounds like you've had a a rough go as a. kid and I find that a lot more common. than than I'd like to especially during. these interviews. It's it's like blows. my mind how many kids grow up in. a in a dangerous. abusive uncomfortable [ __ ] environment. And so I mean growing up with a with an.

alcoholic father I mean what and you'd. mentioned that he would find where you. guys live and you would have to move. again. I mean what kind of stuff what. kind of stuff were you dealing with? And. and the reason I'm asking is because. there's I know there's a lot of kids. that watch this that are going. through that. Mhm. And and I know a lot of them feel. trapped in where they are and they're. looking they're looking for for hope. And so just want to, you know, kind of.

talk about your experience with with an. abusive father and the stuff that. happened with you with your with your. sister's husband. Well, see, I loved my. dad. I I didn't know what was going on. I was still really young. I remember to. this day when um we were living on one. particular street in Costa Mesa and my. mom and my dad were still together. Um. but they must have tried another time. Um cuz I don't believe I was four at the. time. I believe I was a little older. Um. but they for sure got divorced at four.

And I remember kissing him good night. and his stubble on his face and he. always smelt like a pipe, like cherry. vanilla pipe. So, I grew up to love that. smell. Um, now the things that I was. told about my dad that I never saw was. that my dad had slashed on my mom's. tires so she couldn't get away. That he. had cut his hands and he rubbed his. blood all over my mom's face and that he. smacked her a few times and spit in her.

face. And what do I know? Do I do I know do I. think that's real? Probably is. It. probably is. Do I wish I knew? Yeah. But. do do I know now after going through. treatment so many times that a lot of. times when people are uh in the throws. of spirits or or you know medication or. street drugs, any kind of thing like.

that. You know, the whole reason that. people do anything like that is to break. the. reality. Just to have a momentary break. in reality so that you can feel anything. but what you're really feeling right. now. Feel I just want to feel something. different. I don't know if I want to go. up or go down or go sideways. I just. want to feel something different. I hate. my life. I hate my job. I hate my.

relationship and I have nothing to live. for and I know I don't want to kill. myself because I'm afraid of killing. myself and the. choices sit there and you know just be. miserable or someone will come around. and say like hey man let's have a drink. and it's usually how it starts a drink. another drink another drink and if. you're someone like me the thing the. reason why I don't. hard liquor. Um is because once I get to.

the point where I take one and I go, "Ah, the second one I'm going to go, oh, and the third one I'm going to go, whoops.". And it's just there's just no place in. my life right now for that. you know, I. I'll see people, you know, when they're. in in our president's meet and greets, concerts, stuff like that, and and. they'll be clearly inebriated and and.

and we'll try and be, you know, real. considerate of that and make sure that. they're being handled in a proper way. cuz sometimes they say stuff that makes. them look like they're an aggressor, but. they're just a a rambunctious fan who's. intoxicated. So, um, back to the thing with my dad, there was, uh, those stories that I had. heard, but then again, I go back to the. same thing I said previously about I. don't know why they didn't try and take. him to a treatment facility because he. was a vet. He was in the army. He I know.

he had a problem with the VA. Um, and I. know he had some kind of disease. He had. gout. That was one of the things he had. and he had some some other kind of. diseases because when he passed away I. went to his apartment and. uh I I found his Masonic ring and then I. uh found these jars that were full of. medication and they were big jars. They're like peanut butter sized jars, not the little ones you get from the. pharmacy. They're big. So whatever he.

was dealing with, he he had enough. medication there to last in my. estimation a very long time. unless he. was eating them like candy. When did he. pass? How old were you? Uh I was 17 when. he died and um he had been working in a. in a bar. He was working for National. Cash Register at the time. He went from. being the West Coast branch manager of. Bank of America to being a guy that. worked on cash registers because of his.

alcoholism. And I'm sure that that was. unbearable for him. So he's at a bar, he's working on a cash register. They. said he fell off a stool. All I know is. that he was in a bar and his head hit. the ground. Whatever transpired between. him walking through the front door and. him walking out in a. stretcher is it's an enigma to me. But. he had a mass cerebral hemorrhage and he. was in the hospital. My sister called me. up and they said, "Daddy's in the. hospital. You need to come now." And all. I had for transportation at the time was.

a moped because my mom had left me. And. that's the, you know, I took the moped. with my surfboard down to the beach. every day. That's all I needed. transportation. for. But I got the call and I grabbed a. bottle of whiskey. It was this stuff. called old granddad. It was awful. And I. started driving down Pacific Coast. Highway from Huntington Beach to Costa. Mesa to go to the hospital where my dad. was. He he was already dead. He was in a. coma. And um he was in the fetal.

position. And I walked into my sister. Suzanne, the middle one, cuz you're. going to end up just like daddy. And I I. I hated her from that moment on. Before. then, I I didn't I didn't hate her. I I. uh was confused why she had ostracized. me. But when she said that, I just. figured you're just rotten and I I not. going to have anything to do with you. anymore. And we stayed out of touch for. a very long time. How much time had passed since between.

the last time you saw your your father. and when he when he died? Well, the. funny thing was when my mom moved out, I. I had um called him up and uh it was the. first year and I I like I said, I was 17. and. um I had. uh it was it was Father's Day and I. called him up and I said, "Hey, Dad. um. I'm living on my own now and and I'd. really like to come down and see you for. Father's Day. And he said he'd really.

like that. So I went down and I saw his. apartment and it was it was just bare. bones and and I opened up his fridge and. there was a piece of meat in there on a. plate like a a pot roast and nothing. else. And and at the time I didn't put. everything together that this is this is. not acceptable. this is not this is not. okay. This is my dad. What's going on. here? I just went down and I figured. this is the first step because it's the.

first time I'd ever seen my dad in a. neutral territory where my mom wasn't. saying her mantra which was you're going. to go live with your father. So I was. always threatened with my father at the. end of the sentence. You know, you're. going to get your head shaved with your. father. Anything like that stupid [ __ ]. They would just say, "You're going to. get this with your father." And when. they would say I was going to go move. with them, after a while, I started to. fear that. And I needed to find out for. myself. And and I I went and I met him.

I saw him for the man that he was. He. was a a sick man. And uh he wasn't uh. weak by any means. He was sick. What was. the conversation like? I mean, it was. very, very shallow. It was very. strained. I think he knew how badly he. had had um let me down as his son. Um I. can tell you when when I do stupid stuff. like cuss around my son's daughter, I.

feel like I've done the. unthinkable, you know. So like when my. dad had to face what he did, I'm sure it. was, you know, a hundred times. manifested. and, you know, so many times worse. All. the things he had to face and think of. cuz I've never done anything uh like rub. blood on my wife or spit on her or slash. her tires or anything like that. And. whenever we get in an argument, um I.

know that I I love her too much to say. anything that I I uh would regret. So I. usually walk away. And you know, I get. hit with stuff as I'm walking away. Don't walk away. Come back here and. fight. But um you know, it's usually. better. I let her cool off and then uh. you know, every couple has that. You. know, if you really love somebody, you. got to face the fact that you're two. completely different people trying to. live together. Did you Did the. relationship with her with your dad.

developed more or was that the only time. you saw him before he died? That was the. one and only time I'd seen him. Damn. Ever without any kind of conditioning by. my mom. Damn. Yeah, usually he would. come over the first week of school and. my mom would let him bring over stuff. like pencils and school products for the. uh the list that they give you when you. start each school year. You need to get. your notebooks and your this and your. that. My mom would have him uh provide.

that for us. I don't know that he ever. gave her child support. That could have. possibly been a problem. Um but see, it's just like I said, it's an enigma. I. just don't know. How did the So your mom left at 15. Mhm. Did you continue a relationship with. her? Tried. We talked. You She would come. over and and uh maybe once every couple. weeks. and do stuff like clean my house or or.

come over to maybe cook something. I. think it was her way of making sure I. didn't die. But uh you know cuz she. still was a mom and I still was her son. no matter what religious uh organization. had a hold of her her mind her heart. still belonged you know to her maternal. um production for lack of a better word. that I was you know how did you get into. dealing.

that was uh like I said I started off. um messing around with it a little bit. and And I figured out, you know, I would. I would sell it. And it it wasn't like. something that that happened overnight. You know, we were I was going to Marina. High School. There was a place they had. that went over this moat that ran around. the school. It's called the bridge. And. all the kids that were the bad kids. would go out on the bridge. So I would. go out there and people would sell.

joints and uh stuff that you hear on. Chich and Chong records, Aapulco and. Colombian and and Sameia and stuff like. that. That's what the pot was called. back then. And I remember um we would go. out there during lunch and everybody. smoke joint, you know, you'd get one. puff off of it and then you go back to. go eat lunch and then go to class. Unfortunately for me, algebra was after. lunch and I got an F in algebra. But uh.

um all the other classes I had that were. philosophical in a sense, like English, stuff like that, social studies, um. those were things that were enjoyable. for me when I was um when I was in high. school. Did you did you deal with any other. types of abuse? Any sexual abuse, anything like that? Me myself? Yeah. Um, you know, uh, it depends on what people say abuse. is because if you see stuff that you.

shouldn't see, that's abusive. And I saw. stuff I shouldn't see. And, uh, for me, I think that um, you know, it it's one. of those things that it you have to. break the chains. you have to because uh. maybe it wasn't my dad, maybe it was in. his dad, but doing something like that I. believe was a spiritual um uh trespass. on somebody. You're talking about.

generational trauma. Yeah. Any kind of. bloodshed or any kind of uh sexual. abuse, stuff like that, because um the. sins of the father are revisited onto. generations. And um you know I was. having a hard times with stuff and and. we did a bunch of ancestral research and. found out that there was a lot of uh war. in my family and a lot of warriors and a. lot of bloodshed consequently. So um we. had to uh had to really face a lot of.

that stuff and and you know I'm not a. violent person by nature. Um, like I. said, uh, one of the best things I've. ever learned about fighting is not to, if you don't mind me asking, we don't. have to go there. What kind of stuff did. you see? Oh, uh, sexual stuff. Um, well, I saw. stuff with with uh some cousins that. that I had that were kind of fooling. around with other people and it was. something that they thought it was kind. of fun to show us kids. And um, to me, I.

think that's sexual abuse. Yeah. nine. years old, you don't need to witness. somebody um having intercourse with. somebody else. And uh um you know, as. far as like uh anybody trying to uh. sexually abuse me, that that hasn't. happened. Um fortunately for me, um and. uh as far as my my family's concerned, we're golden. Um ever since our children. were born, they've been treated like.

gold. and and there was never anything. that you know we would make sure that. they didn't watch any inappropriate. movies for their age. you know, at at. even at this time with Elector being in. her mid20s, um, when she's in the front. room watching movies with her mom and. there's too much, uh, cussing, I'll go, you guys, you know, and and here I am, you know, I can't get through a sentence. without saying [ __ ] And and, you know, it's like that guru that's on the.

internet that says all the great ways. you can use [ __ ] in a sentence. But when. I hear it and I hear my family saying. it, I I'm like, come on, man. Don't do. that. You're You're a lady. You're Stop. it. You know, goofy, right? I get it. I. get it. Well, I want to ask you, we'll take a. break here in a minute, but before we. do, like I had mentioned earlier, there's just there's a lot of kids that. are in broken homes right now and and. and facing the. unthinkable. And so, what what advice.

would you have for a kid that's in that. kind of a situation? Uh the first thing is to say something. about it. As embarrassing as it is to. let it continue to happen is in a very. twisted way um kind of allowing it to. happen. And uh you know you don't want. to be a co-conspirator in your own um. sexual abuse. You know, there are. certain circumstances I'm sure of I I. have a vivid imagination where people.

are in circumstances where they cannot. get out of a circumstance where they're. being sexually abused. And that's where. I think you need to say something to. who? To anybody. first person you. [ __ ] see say something, you know, because that if you're being uh sexually. abused and you're a child, that person. is um is. is doing the unthinkable. Um if you're.

adult and you're being sexually abused, there are laws for that. Equally, the. same ones with children. Um and stuff. that's taken by. force. And you there are laws for that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if we. should go back to the death penalty for. for rapists. Like part of me says yes. and part of me says no. But um I think. when you do that cuz you're taking a. piece of somebody's life away. Yeah.

Forever. Yeah. You're. you're destroying their innocence. Yeah. And they're going to think about. that moment for the rest of their life. Something's wrong with me. Do you Do you I mean I think it's pretty. obvious. I bet you know some of your. family downstairs, your wife and your. son. Seems like you've broken the. generational curse. Yes, we have. Did. your. siblings Did your siblings were they.

able to break that? I don't know. Um. let's let's go down the chain. Michelle, she passed away recently from leukemia. and bunch of blood diseases. Um, and I. think that could be because of what she. did. Um, I talked to my uncle, her husband. Stan, every once in a while because. she's still kind of like my childhood. hero. Uh my next sister.

Suzanne, she passed away from. Parkinson's disease just this year and. her husband died a long time ago and he. was the police chief and um I made. amends with him before he passed away. which was good. And uh the amends with. him was really weird because I I told. him I said I needed to make amends for. you and I'll never get over my drinking. unless I. um clean up the records of my past. I.

see and I've done the following harm to. you. I made you have to discipline me. and I know you didn't want to do that. and I need to say that I I need to know. what I can do to make it right. Not. sorry because I said sorry so much it. became a [ __ ] character reference. But when um I would say I need to make. amends to you and I see I've done the. following. harms, you know, and and what can I do. to make this right? Some people would.

say I don't ever want to see you again. Some people will say you know what I'm. looking forward to see you in heaven but. not down on earth. And uh other people. would say, "You know what? Uh just just. stay sober." Or one guy said, "I want a. guitar." And I. went inside I was rolling my eyes. But. on the outside I went, "Okay, that's. what you want and that's what I'll do. That's the price, the dummy tax that I. spent." Right on. Right on. Well, Dave,

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to. fastgrowingtreees.com for details. All right, Dave, we're back from the. break. Let's get into how you got into. heavy metal. Well, that was. um again not. having a a social network of people that. were my age that I hung out with. I had. to um hang out with my.

sister's boyfriend's little. brother. So, my sister got married when. she was 17. Oh, wow. Yeah. To this guy. who they're divorced now. and he's not anybody I I ever want to. see again in this world. Um, and he had a guitar, but his little. brother had a bass. And I remember going.

to uh the little brother, his name is. Mark, to his house and he was listening. to some records with his friends and we. just smoked a joint and we thought that. we were the coolest kids in the world. and we had some there were some girls. that were uh in the neighborhood. Mark. had a girlfriend and her girlfriend had. a friend, so I hooked up with her and we. had everything to be in a rock band. except talent and instruments, right? So. my brother-in-law, Mike, the older one,

had this guitar. It was a piece of junk. called the Supra. And he was playing. guitar. He was playing some uh Deep. Purple at the time, which is not a band. that I'm really fond of. I respect the. players tremendously, but it's not. really my type of music. But I I uh did. understand the playing was very. cyclical. was something it did not. reminisce in any way American music. because American music was a lot of rock.

and roll stuff. So there was a chord um. followed by another chord followed by. another chord which would go verse. chorus verse chorus little bit of a uh. middle eight section like a refrain and. then a chorus and the song's over maybe. 2 minutes 3 minutes then it started. getting a little longer. So, I had my. first introduction to playing the guitar. through. um Mark and Mike Bal. The first time I.

ever actually played the guitar was my. cousin John. um um Odell. And he he had uh Gibson Les. Paul back then. God, what I would give. to have that guitar from him. But uh he. showed me how to do a bar chord and I. knew how to do that. And and uh one of. the first songs I ever learned was a. song called Panicking Detroit that was. done by David Bowie. And the next one. was uh All the Young Dudes by Mata.

Hoopal. And I can't remember which one. was first. It was one or the other of. those two, but those were basically the. two songs I started playing. And then I. heard Led Zeppelin and I I thought, God, this is just amazing, but it's so. difficult. And I started to learn how to. play and started to get drawn more to. the guitar. Right after Led Zeppelin, it. was Ted Nan and Kiss. Those were really. influential bands. And and so now I'm.

starting to see the visual. I'm starting. to hear the u the mystical with Led. Zeppelin and I'm I'm hearing, you know, the Blue Collar stuff with Deep Purple. and so on. Ted Nan being uh at back in. the day, the Motor City Mad Man. Um he. had some really uh amazing songs for the. time. You know, I still think he's an. amazing guitar player. I know that a lot. of people um don't like uh Ted, but I I.

I think that my guitar playing has a lot. of influence from Ted Nent as as well as. um once I started to get into uh the new. wave of British Heavy Melt because the. first time I got involved in music was. um the uh British invasion. So for my. songwriting, learning how to songwrite, it was primarily bands like the Stones, The Hoop, The Beatles, so on and so.

forth. And then when I started to pick. up guitar, I started to learn the new. wave of British heavy metal, which was. bands like Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Diamond Head, Motorhead, uh so on and so. forth. And um there was a total. difference cuz how I write because how I. write a song is not um based off of what. I can play on guitar because I can play. guitar to the level that I can. I can. write songs that are a little bit more.

explorative. So you learn you learned how to write. before you learned how to play. Well, what um No, that's not exactly. right. What what I learned about. songwriting was from the British. invasion. Okay. So from listening to the. Beatles also my sisters were very much. into Mottown. So Mega Death has its. swing and its and its grew from the. Mottown influence that I had you know. Sam and Dave Al Green Marvin Gay Stevie. Wonder you know Slying the Family.

Stone Shaka there's so many bands from. back then that the R&B stuff would be. played at my house. Plus it was. sometimes the only thing you could hear. on the radio. There's a radio station in. Los Angeles called Kear. K Earth 101 and. uh it plays oldies and I love the. oldies. It's so you picked that up. It sounds. like you picked it up relatively quick. Um picking it up. uh it happened at a really good time in.

my life where I was looking for. something because I was playing little. league and I was really really good at. it. But I also knew the reality was that. I was never going to be a professional. baseball player. because you know I'm not stupid. So um. that's what you know I'm not stupid. So. I became a rock star instead. Well. that's not hilarious. It's not it's not. a dichotomy. It's it's more along the.

lines of me knowing the the odds for. being able to become a professional. baseball player. I was not uh huge in. stature and was not a big person in. order the position I played was a. catcher and most catchers in. professional baseball are solid guys. They're they're much more. uh taller and and heavier than than I. was. So I was thinking, you know, part. of the reason that I liked playing that. position was because I got to almost sit.

down the whole game. It's just, excuse me, it's just funny. that, you know, what are the odds of. becoming a professional baseball player? I don't know. What are the odds of. becoming a rock star? Well, see, that. that that was I I made up my mind I was. going to do that. That's different. You. know, you made up your mind that you. were going to become who you are today. all the way back then or it just. happened? when I was a child. Um after I.

stopped playing little league, I I knew. that um I needed to to make a decision. in my life. Obviously, I'm living on my. own. I'm selling marijuana. And um I uh. I'm not. happy. I'm. alone. And as bad as things were, this. was worse. Being alone was worse. you. know, I I knew that uh I I needed to do. something. How old were you when you. started playing guitar? I was 13. My mom.

had gotten me an acoustic guitar when I. had graduated from some grade. I don't. know what it was, but she got me an. acoustic guitar from Pure One Imports. and and uh it's piece of [ __ ] but I. started plunking around on it. My sister. was playing piano, and my mom had got. her a piano and me a piece of [ __ ]. acoustic guitar. So again, here I am, the last kid getting the the, you know, tough kids blue jeans that are somebody. else's already for a few years. Um, so I.

I started playing guitar to to uh play. along with her and and then became clear. to me that she wasn't getting any. better. So I I stopped playing with her. and I started playing by myself. And and. once I met uh her boyfriend and her. boyfriend's little brother, that's when. I started really focusing. And I just I. the thought of me not being that person, not being a rock star, it just didn't. cross my mind because I I had nothing. else to, you know, it's like an officer.

and a gentleman where the guy says, "I. don't have anywhere else to go." I. didn't. Damn. And so when when was when was. panic born? about when I was 18. 18 years old. Yeah. Had you done any live performances. before then? uh little weird stuff like I went with a. little three-piece group that um I was. in for like a day for uh it was for a.

dance and they were having a battle of. the bands and we only knew one song and. they said we were too loud so we uh we. missed out on that one. And then um I. started playing at my cousin's house. down in Dana Point and we did several. concerts down there and that's basically. where Megadeth was born was out of my. cousin John's uh front room in Dana. Point. Wow. Wow. You mean you mean.

Panic? No, Megade was born there because. the songs that are in Meadeath were. being played in Panic at that time. So. Megadeith was born at that time although. I didn't know it. I was in the guise of. panic but really Megadeith had just. broken surface the terapirma. and now I'm going to watch this whole. thing unfold before my eyes. Am I going.

to am I going to be able to handle the. pressure? I think so. I've had a lot of. pressure in my life. Am I going to be. able to stay relevant? I think so. because I've had to almost teach myself. because of dropping out of school and. having to figure everything out for. myself. You know, right now I'm writing. a song on the art of war because I've. got a song that just sounds like a. [ __ ] samurai song. And I thought it'd. be really great, cuz I've read The Art. of War so many times, um, to, uh, maybe.

maybe put that book as a muse to help me. write a story about something related. with the samurai culture or, the way of. life. How did you get into the art of. war? I've read a lot of really good. books to help me. Um, yeah, I started. very early reading all the self-help. books you could get. Seven Habits of. Highly Effective People, The Way of. Peaceful Warrior, uh all those books. Um. How to Win Friends and Influence People.

I read a bunch of CS Lewis books. Read. tons of books. And just stuff that gives. you a different perspective on stuff. It. may not be real. It may not be. appropriate. It may not fit, but it it. helps me to maybe understand somebody. else a little bit more. And how did how did you how did you guys. come up with the name Panic? Panic, man. I was a teenager. That was. the best thing I could come up with. Pretty good name. Yeah, it was pretty.

good at the time. And um I remember. there was another band that was called. Panic at the Disco. And I I always. wondered who had it first cuz um I never. really did the research and see when. those guys actually started started. But, uh, I think there was another band. that was called Panic 2 at some point. What was I mean, so let's just talk. about your first time doing something. live. How many people showed up and and.

and was that a rush to you to see? Well, we were the the first time that we. played, we were in my cousin's. apartment, and you know, apartments, they're. they're not generally gigantic places to. live in. So, um I think the room. probably was his front room was probably. about 2/3 the size of this room. And we. had our gear set up and my cousin was. very uh well known in Dana Point. And uh.

he had let all his friends know, hey, my. cousin David's coming. I hate when he. calls me David. My cousin David's coming. down from Huntington Beach to do a jam. with this. band. People there. It's a block party. [ __ ] Yeah. And uh so I'm hiding in the. bathroom and uh getting ready to play. and. uh we we go out and and we start playing. the songs that we'd learned and we.

played a couple originals I had. We. played what ended up being Hangar 18. there cuz it was called N2RHQ at the. time. It was a tail number on a plane. that I had seen one time and I thought. what does that say? And I and I wrote. down into RHQ. It's probably not what. the fin had on it anyways or the tail. had on any was but uh and I thought. about what it would be like to have a a. place in outer space that was a new. existence like for example Skyab and. um so that was how that song started and.

it morphed as it went into Mega Death. We changed the name and changed the. lyrics just a little bit. How did it I. mean just like five minutes ago you're. talking about how alone you felt as a. kid and and. and that got you into kind of got you. into music and stuff and so what's it. like to go I mean how did it feel for. you to go from completely alone to an. entire block party wanting to see you.

play it it well it was it was uh it felt. wonderful obviously But it was. uh it's very. foreign. So I I'd never experienced. anything like that. I mean the games at. the little league uh park that was. great. You hit a home run. I I I was. tied for first place for our home runs. that were hit. And uh one of the last. seasons I played down there and and you. know I wasn't by any means a ringer, but.

you know was two kids. He hit four. I. hit four. But kids weren't hitting home. runs and and uh that was cool. I don't. know why I keep going off on this. baseball stuff, but you know, the people. that were in the bleachers cheering and. stuff like that. Um that felt good. That. felt good, but it wasn't a routine. occurrence. How routine did it become? It was a b it. was a weekend thing with little league. Sometimes you would have an afterchool. game, but usually it was weekends and.

not always did we win or not not always. did I have VIP performance. I mean the. the the the concerts the concerts that. Okay. So that would happen about maybe. once. every once a month maybe. Once a month. It only happened I think four or five. times down there. And then uh we did a. couple um. uh parties up in in uh the Huntington.

Beach, Orange County area. And then uh I. left because it was just getting the the. drugs that were going around. Um there. was a whole another scene that I never. knew about till we started playing. As. soon as we started playing, we were at a. friend's house. There was a party and. and some. uh people from a uh another neighborhood. came to this party and they dumped a. bunch of things that were called reds. I.

think it's. barbbitu and they dumped that into the. fruit punch that they made. So they had. fruit punch and vodka and somebody came. there and dumped a bunch of these other. drugs in there and everybody was falling. out in the place and they ended up. getting robbed and it was just a bad. scene. that and and everybody seemed to. start uh showing up with somebody who. did or somebody who knew somebody who. did or had cocaine. And it was just that.

was the time of the. uh in in my life where cocaine was. prevalent everywhere was in the 80s and. and uh Yeah. Yeah. How old were you at. this point? Well, it depends what part. of the 80s I'm talking about. If it was. when Mega started, uh that started. later. Uh, panic didn't um go from being. functional to being meade overnight. Yeah. I I uh when I I was in Panic,

obviously, I went to Metallica and then. got back in Megaade. And the stuff that. the stuff that I learned in in uh Panic, I I took with me to Metallica. And I. think that's part of the reason why Lars. was letting me uh help settle shows and. and being the spokesperson for the band. until we got management. I mean, I'm. talking about the very beginning of. Panic. How how old were you when that. when that started? That probably like I. said, I was probably. around 18 maybe. Wow. Yeah, I think so.

Maybe about 18. Wow. And you mentioned this other scene. What what else was going on in the other. scene that you that you did not like? It. sounds like panic was kind of a. dark not kind of a dark period in your. life. I know you lost some friends. Yeah. Yeah. Well, a lot of people died. and uh just kind of seemed. like like there was bad stuff that was.

supposed to happen to just test me. What did happen? Oh. Um, well, that that. first band, Panic, um, there's a lot of death. Uh the. uh the guitar. player, myself, the drummer, the bass player, and the singer were down in Dana Point.

and it was our first show. and it was time for everybody to go to. bed, right? So my cousin says, "You can. sack out here, you can sack out here, you can do this." And the drummer and. the sound guy guy's name was Joe and the. drummer's name was. Mike. They say, "No, we want to drive. home." And I said, "It's Dana Point. It's night time. You guys are buzzed and. you're going to drive all the way back.

up to Huntington Beach. Bad idea. Don't. do it." And they did it. And the driver, Joe, fell asleep while he was driving on. Pacific Coast Highway, right south of. the Huntington Beach Pier. He hit a. control box for the traffic signals and. the car flipped on its side and burst. into flames. The driver, Joe, was impaled by the. steering column and he broke his neck.

and he died at the scene and Mike never. woke up in the back seat. He was burnt. to death. And then shortly after that, Tom, the guitar player, uh, driven off of the freeway where. there was a huge embankment like roads. up here, you know, when they had those. things that are down the side and you. can look down, there's a parking lot. down there. Well, he went off the. freeway and he hit the parking lot and. his jeep somehow pinned him underneath.

it and slid for a long distance and just. ground him into uh, nothingness. So, so that was really sad and I know. that our singer had some issues. Um, but. he's uh he's doing great now from what I. hear. Um, it was just the the whole. scene, the drug scene. We did a concert. out in the woods for the um for for. these bikers one time. It was down in in.

Fbrook area and we we specifically. learned songs like Bad Motorc Scooter by. Montrose. We were out there and we we play our set. and we're done. We're getting ready to. go. And the guys come up and they go, "You're not done. You're going to play. again." And I said, "No, we already. played our set." They go, "You ain't. leaving until you play another set." And. I thought, "This is bad. We're out here. with a bunch of bikers and they're. pissed and drunk right now." So, one of. the guys that was with us, um, two of the guys that were with us. decided it was a novel idea to go try.

and steal a keg from the bikers. They. had taken it in and rolled it up a hill. and lost grip on it and it rolled down. the hill and went bung squish into the. water. So, you know the sound a keg. makes? It was like the ringing of bells. in Notredam and um all of a sudden these. guys are uh wanted men and the bikers. are on the hunt. So I hear one of the. guys, he's up in a tree like a [ __ ]. going cool, trying to talk to us. And.

and I I thought this is not going to end. well. So they said, "You can play again. We'll pay you to play again, and we'll. give you this big giant bag of m magic. mushrooms." So everybody passed them. out. Everybody ate them. And then the. singer, I remember him walking around. with the trash bag full of beer with the. hole punched in the bottom. and he was. just drinking like a giant boa bag. It. had gotten so out of control. And the. next morning we woke up and it was time. for us to get out of there. The the you.

can imagine what else could go wrong. The car that we drove down then and. there burns out its clutch. So now we. have to hitchhike from the woods out in. the forest of Fbrook back up to the. freeway and try and hitchhike home to. Huntington Beach. It was probably one of. the worst days of my life playing music. [ __ ]. How did you I mean, were you guys close. within the band? In panic, we we we were.

kind of Pat, the singer, was much older. than we were, so he kind of had a. fatherly um you know, I'm not going to. say condescension, but just a little bit. of. a he just he just seemed like he was. older than us. And. uh it just felt like that was being made. clear. You know, he's the guy that's. responsible. He's the guy with the wife. He's the guy with the kid. He's the guy. with the house. We're all derelicts that. do drugs and live in apartments.

How did you get over their death? All three of. them. Well, Mike's was really hard to. deal with because he was the drummer in. the band that I was in. Tom hadn't. passed away yet. And uh Joe I barely. knew. So Mike was hard for me to to. lose. And uh he was a good guy. Was a. left-handed drummer too, which is very. rare. And. um he he uh yeah, that was hard to get.

over. Starting the process of looking. for a drummer again seemed very uh. artificial because deep down inside I. didn't want another drummer. I wanted. Mike to be alive. And so for Panic, you move into. Metallica, correct? Mhm. How did that. come about? I was done with Panic and I. said, I'm going to find something else. to do. So, I got a newspaper called The.

Recycler and it's just a a rag from Los. Angeles, Orange County. It's like a. county classified ad magazine. And I'm. looking in the classified ad magazine. Go figure. the biggest band in the world. would advertise in this newspaper. So I. look at it and it says wanted league. guitar. player and um mentioned a couple bands. So I called up I got Lars on the phone.

and I said, "Yeah, well I I like Mohead. I like Budgie." And he goes, "You like. [ __ ] Budgie, man?" And I went, "Yeah, I do." And uh that was uh the icebreaker. because Budgie is a Welsh band. It's a. three-piece. It's very obscure. And by. me listening to them showed that I had. credibility in the new wave of British. heavy metal world because of the bands I. was listening to. They were not a a band. like a white metal band or a progressive.

metal band. They were three-piece from. Wales that kicked ass. They didn't have. to have all those silly names in front. of it. And how did that how did that develop? What part of the the joining joining? Yeah. So, so we were on the phone and um. he he made that comment that I know them. and I said, "Yeah." So, we we talked. about um meeting face to face and I. drove down from Huntington Beach to.

Newport Beach where he lived in a place. called uh I think it was called Park. Newport. And the funny thing was my mom. was a maid and she had actually worked a. vent for catering in his complex he was. in. And I'm thinking, go figure. My mom. was a maid here and your mom has a place. here. What what a story that is. The two. sides of a different coin, you know, or. two different sides of the same coin. And um so I went into his his place and.

started talking to. him and uh he played this song called. Hit the Lights that was written by a guy. named uh Lloyd Grant. So um Metallica. didn't write that song. Lloyd Grant. wrote it and then he uh was friends with. Lars and then Lars introduced him to. James and then they started playing Hit. the Lights. That's the song that I heard. from them first and I said, "Wow, this. song needs way more lead solos in it.".

It was just me being cocky, being me. Needs more lead solos in. it. And he was trying to figure out if I. was for real. And so we went to. rehearsal. He said, "We're gonna try you. out." So, okay. So, I mean, I knew how good I. played. I I've been gifted and and I. know it's not by my own doing. So I. don't try to take any credit for it. So. I don't care how good I am or or not or.

what people say or anything like that. So I just knew what I knew what I knew. And I went to Ron McGoverny's uh parents. forplex. They had this uh place that. James was living with. Ron. And. uh I went up there with Lars and I set. up my amps. I plugged my guitar. in and I just started warming. up as it.

and they were impressed. They wouldn't. come in. What do you mean they wouldn't. come in? They wouldn't come into the. rehearsal room. So I put my guitar down. and I thought, "This is really strange.". And I walked out and I said, "Guys, are. we going to do the audition?" They said, "You got the gig." No [ __ ] Yeah. How did that feel? Good. Good. I knew I. was going to get it. You knew it. Yeah, cuz I could play that.

stuff. I mean, there weren't very many. guitar players like me around at the. time. You know, who were they? Randy. Rhodess. There were people like that guy. from Ratwood. Warren D. Martini was. really great, you know, but uh real. shredders, there wasn't a lot of us. around at the time. Damn. Damn. What was the What was the. experience like joining that band and.

and becoming the spokesman and the lead. guitarist? And I mean, was that surreal. for you at all or? Well, again, it's. kind of like and I. said it seemed like this was what my. destiny was. And when it came time for. us to. uh do our first concert, we played at a. high school or maybe it was a junior. high school Mars might have gone to. I. know he went to it, but I can't remember. if it was elementary or junior or high.

school, whatever. And uh from that point. on, it was just clear that whenever. there was any kind of altercation that. was going down, I would be the one that. would take care of it. You know, James. was very peaceful and and Lars um you. know, he was a little bit of a a devil. You know, he he liked to have fun, but. uh yeah, if there was ever any stuff. going down, I had to take care of it. when we went up to San Francisco and did.

our first couple shows up there at a. place called The Stone, I was the one. who had to go and collect the money. And. uh you know, there's a million ways uh. to to embezzle or to be corrupt when it. comes down to running a club or bar. When it involves a band getting paid, they can say all kinds of stuff and if. you don't know, you don't know. And most. kids my age at that time don't know and.

they try and get money and they'll say, "Well, you sold 200 tickets and you have. a bar tab here and so we're going to. give you 150 bucks, you know, and you. know that they made a killing on their. booze. You know that they made money on. the food and snacks that they have there. and the ticket prices, you know, plus. they take a giant whack of your. merchandise." And um that was my gig. I. would go do that. Um, when we decided we. were going to move out to New York, that.

was because Lars had found somebody he. wanted to manage us, this guy Johnny. Zazula, who had Megga Force Records. And. he heard our demo tape, the No Life to. Leather demo tape, and he lost his mind. just like everybody else in the world. And um, they wanted to uh, get the band. to come out and. um, record a record. And while we were. on the way out there, we got in a car. crash. Um, we were driving through the. snow. None of us knew how to drive.

through snow except for Lars because. he's from Denmark. And I'm driving this. rider truck. It's 24 foot truck. And it. had a toe bar and it had James's pickup. on the back. So when we were driving, we. hit black ice and the whole thing spun. around while I was driving. And I. managed to keep it upright in the middle. of the freeway, but the truck stopped. and oncoming traffic was coming towards. us. And and the events that happened at.

that location, the uh guy that had. produced I think he produced the first. record. His name is Mark Whitaker. He. was the guy that was doing our sound and. stuff. He almost got died. I had to push. him out of the way and a truck goes into. the rider right where he was standing. So, if I wouldn't have um seen that. truck coming and saved his life, he'd be. dead right now. Um and when we went to. the U-Haul place to get our truck. replaced and move all of our gear into. the new truck, James and Lars had made a.

decision to um replace me because they. tried to pin that driving thing on me as. the last straw. We all drank. That's why. they called it Alcoholica. I mean, they. didn't call it Dave Alcoholica. We all. drank. And they continued to drink like. that even after I was gone. But um that. was the uh I think the beginning of the. end. And when we got out to um New York, I had a reel of tape, was this a quarter. inch tape. It had probably two days.

worth of guitar riffs on it, just me. playing and playing and. playing. And we took that tape player. and the reel of tape with us out to New. York. And when we did two shows out. there and after those two shows, they. woke me up one morning and said, "Look, you're out of the band." And I said, "What are you talking about? You're out. of the band." I said, "No. warning. No second chance. You're not. going to give me a warning. You're just. going to kick me out." And I thought. that was that was unfair. And it showed.

an a grotesque amount of of a grotesque. lack of character. And um so that it it. pissed me off and was a huge part of the. uh fuel. But um you know uh at the time. I I was really mad and I didn't I didn't. want to forgive them for what they did. And I told them when I left, do not use. my music. And of course they used. it. They ride the lightning. I wrote.

call the culu. I wrote. um let's see what else. Uh there's. Phantom Lord, Metal Militia, Jump in the. Fire, The Four. Horsemen. Jeez. And I wrote a bunch of. Leopard Messiah, too. They didn't give. me credit on that. You listen to the. riffs, you know, they're my riffs. It's. like boing. You think I'm going to all. of a sudden hear my riff and say, "That's not me." So, damn. Yeah. I wrote. a lot of their music that made them. And.

all the solos on that first record were. mine. The best Kirk could try and copy. them. Wow. Yeah. And And so I Why do you. If if if if everybody was drinking that. much, were there drugs involved, too? I. like to smoke pot, but there were no. drugs. Why Why do you think they singled. you out of the bunch? Because I when I. got drunk, I got violent. James and I. had gone out to a club one time and uh. it was the old Maboo. It was across the.

street from the Stone and and um we were. out front and some guy came out of the. alleyway and he said, "There's a guy. beating some girl up in the alleyway.". And and of course I being the champion. for justice did not want to hear that. and not do anything. So I went down the. alleyway with James and of course James. not being a. fighter started yelling out, "Kill him! Kill him! kill him. And the guy comes. out from behind a van and he was much.

bigger than James and he said, "Who's. going to kill me?" And James. goes, "Points to. me." So I immediately grabbed the guy. and put him down in a submission and. started rabbit punching him until he. stopped moving. And then we ran out of. the alleyway and we stood out front. until the paramedics came and that was. it. So, I imagine he saw that and he. figured, you. know, I don't want to be part of this.

Dave's already beat me up back down in. Los Angeles and and he's just too. violent. Damn. Cuz James did get uh he did get a. punch in the mouth from me. He kicked my. puppy. He kicked your puppy? Yeah. I was. selling pot for a living, as you know. So, one time I did a concert and people. knew I was on stage, so they just. jimmyed the window. There's nobody. there. They took all my pot and I was. pissed. So, I I uh I got two dogs. My.

nephew took one and I took the other. one. And I had taken her up with me to. rehearsal and she was playing and she's. looking up at me. I'm standing over. here. Ron McGovern has got this really. nice GTO and she leans up against the. car and puts her paws on the front. quarter panel and he goes bang and. kicked the dog and I went, "What did you. just do? What did you just do?" And it. went from the front yard into the house.

and there's still stuff being said. And I said, "You better shut up or I'm. I'm going to punch you in the mouth.". And. then Ron McGovern says, "If you hit him, you're going to have to hit me. first." And and and I said, "You stay. out of it." And then James said the same. thing. "If you hit him, you're going to. have to hit me first." And I said, "Okay, you win." And bang, I hit James. in the mouth. And then I hip tossed Ron.

into his uh intelligion setup. And um. that was it. Two strikes and it was. over. And. um Lars was pulling his hair going, I. don't want it to end this way. And I. thought, you know what? I I've already. told you it's either me or James. And we. did that a bunch of times cuz you James. was doing stupid stuff. And and I told. James the same thing. I said, "Man, it's. either me or Lars cuz Lars sucks.".

Damn. and I got the axe in the end. So, it's. good. It's fine. What did you do after. you got asked? I I went home and um I contacted a. friend of mine and I said I quit. She. said, "No, you didn't. You got fired.". And I said, "Yeah, I got fired." I So, I'm I quit. I got fired. Whatever. You. know, I'm back home. Wrong word. Not not. changing the outcome, you know.

And uh I made sure not to ever say that. I quit because I wanted people to know. that I was unfairly dismissed and that I. didn't give a. [ __ ] cuz we may not be as big as they. are. Hell, their biggest song, Enter. Sandman. Go look up the band Excel right. now. Look up their. song. I think it's something into the. unknown. pretty similar. How long was it before.

you got back in the saddle? It wasn't. very long. Um, I moved up to Hollywood. I knew I needed to go up into LA and I. was really disappointed that I'd moved. to Hollywood because everything about. Hollywood was what I despised, what we. despised in Metallica. You know, we we. we didn't like the short hair. We didn't. like the eyeliner. We didn't like the. the glammy clothes. um we didn't like. the ballads and uh those are all the.

things that we stood against and. um. um I don't know where I was going with. that but you moved up to Hollywood back. in the saddle I'm trying to figure out. what I was going to say about that. because when I first came up there I had. been friends with a bunch of people that. were in pen pal uh kind of a position. this guy named Brian Lou was a guy who. had a metal magazine called Metal. Militia or no, what was it called? Was.

it Metal. Militia? I think that might have been. the name of his magazine. But anyways, um Brian Lou is still a friend of mine. to this day. And um I told him that I. was planning on getting together and I. had met this guy. um and this other guy and I was thinking. about the name Fallen Angels, blah blah. blah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Goodbye. Next. thing I know, it's a story that I have a. band with three people and it's called.

Fallen Angels. And there never was that. band. There never was. But the guitar. player that I met, Robbie. McKini, was the guy I first played with. when I came to Los Angeles. and he. actually introduced me to the people I. ended up playing with because um when we. we started um trying to get people, one. of the first drummers we had was this. this kid named Lee Roush and we' done a.

couple shows up in PaloAlto with Carrie. King sitting in on guitar for us. Um. that was uh really neat, but it ended in. a very weird way because uh we had we'd. been playing together. I I'll backtrack. to David Ellison being in the band, but. we were playing together with this guy. named Lee Roush and and this first show. up in Palo Alto. Um it was New Year's. Eve and we were at the rehearsal place. we were at and something happened. So we. were all running out of the building as. fast as we can. The power went off or. something weird. So we're running down.

the stairs, he falls, breaks his leg and. we've got a show in a couple days and I. said, "Lee, you're an idiot. What did. you do?" And uh he goes, "Man, I'll just. break the cast off." And uh he he gets a. pair of pliers, gets the cast wet, rips. the cast off, and does the concert. His. foot is black and green. Looks like he's. got gang green on it, and it should have. been cut off, but he played. On the way. back to Los Angeles, he goes, "Man, I'm. going to go take some acid and find.

myself." And I never saw him again. No. [ __ ] Yeah. The the next number we got. after that was somebody who was. introduced to us by. um a manager named Jay Jones, but I've. skipped the part about David Ellison. So, do you want me to talk about that? Yes. Um when when we first got the. drummer we were going through before. that happened, we were we when I moved. to the apartment I was living in in. Hollywood, right underneath me, there. was two kids from Minnesota. They were.

living in Jackson, Minnesota, which is a. podium town out in the middle of. nowhere. And their parents both saved up. and sent them out to California to make. it big. They would go to Guitar. Institute of Technology and then they'd. be discovered and everybody lived. happily ever after. Well, I was there in. my apartment. They were there in their. apartment underneath me playing Running. with the Devil.

bom. Right. Real difficult bass riff. Jean Simmons actually played that. Did. you know that? No. Yeah. And um so I'm. hearing this and I'm mildly hung over. Nah, I was really hung over. So I uh I. open up the window and I said, "Shut the. [ __ ]. up." Slam the. window. Seems to have. worked. I go lay back. down. Paul and I opened up the window.

and I grabbed this potted plant that was. on the window sill and I. went and I threw it down and it burst on. his air conditioner and I'm. waiting. I open up the door. What? They're both stunned. You know, they've got these long [ __ ]. ridiculous looking leather jackets on. that have a belt around. almost like a. smoking jacket and they had canvas high. tops and bell bottoms on like they were.

really styling. And I look at him and I. look at. him and they go, "Do you know where to. get some. cigarettes?" And I thought, "Oh my god.". I said, "At the corner." Wham. And I. shut the. door. What? Can you buy beer? And I went, "Now. we're talking." So we became friends. I. found out Dave was the bass player. Greg.

Handivid was the guitar player of this. tsum that came out. They were both in. the band for a little while. Greg. married a bong and we fired him. And um. it was just me and Junior for a little. while. And then I found this drummer. that was brought to us by a manager we. had named Jay Jones. Jay Jones is dead. His brother knifed him with a butter. knife over a bologn sandwich. So, shows. you the kind of people we had managing. us, too. Holy [ __ ] Yeah. Killed him.

over a bologn sandwich, right? His dad. was in the war and he got hit with some. shrapnel, so he'd sit out in the front. yard each night and stare at the moon. like a like a a dog, right? And uh his. brother got in a fight with him. They. both lived at home still, and they were. both way old adults. And the guy stabbed. him. Geez. Yeah. So Ellison came into the band, handed it. exited. We got uh meeting with this guy.

named Gar Samson. Me and Allison are. working at the studio at the time. And. um Jay brings this guy Gar. His name's. Gary. So Gar sits down and he's smoking. a cigarette and he nods because he's a. heroin addict and he had just gotten. well before he came to see us because. Jay was his dealer who became our. dealer. So car sitting there on the. couch with a cigarette and it. goes right through his fingers and I.

thought [ __ ] this guy's a massochist man. this is going to be great. So we go in. there and we go to audition him and he. was amazing just amazing. So, we created. Maggodet. It was a metal jazz band that. had classical and punk influences and we. were a three-piece for a little while. and uh then we met Chris Poland. How did you come up with the name Mega. Death? It was on a hand from Senator. Alan Cranston on the way back from New. York to California. There was a handbell.

on the bottom of the floorboard of the. Greyhound I was writing in and I picked. it up because I needed something to. write on. You know, I figured I was. going to start writing lyrics. The first. lyric I wrote was on the back of a. hostess snow cones. You know those cups. that with the pink chopped up mutant. stuff, whatever it is. Yeah. So, I had. written on the back of that and I needed. more paper and there was this thing on. the floor at the seat in front of me. So, I kind of reached my foot and. grabbed it and I flipped it over. I read. it and it said, "The Arsenal of Megade. can't be read. This is Senator Alan. Cranston saying this." And there was.

much more uh stuff there about why he. should be uh retained as a senator. And. I thought, Megaad, that's a great song. title. So, I wrote it down as a song. title. And uh wasn't thinking of a band. name yet, but we got to LA, we got a a. band together. We played we were driving. around in the van and um by now we had. hired Jay I mean uh Carr, David Ellison,

myself. Greg Handid was still with us. and there was a singer we tried hiring. named Lawrence but he went by. Lore and uh he was the one that was. talking to us and he goes, "You made. that's a great band name." Because I was. thinking something like a foreign word. like like fire, you know, something bomb. or something in a foreign language, but. then you know, you can't really say it. when you go into the foreign language. speaking.

territories on stage. Bomb, everybody. runs for the doors, right? So yeah, we we gave a lot of thought to. Mega Death and and uh funny thing is as. soon as I chose that name, this little. douche from the Circle Jerks, it was a. drummer. Um name was Keith, somebody uh. went out and registered the name Meade. Death. So I had to pay him off to get. it. He knew because he was friends with. Jay Jones, our manager at the time. Jay. told him we're called Meadeth and he ran.

right out. Cost me $10,000. Damn. Yeah. Damn. So, this is the stuff I see that I. don't like. Yeah. Yeah. And how how fast. was it? How fast did the Mega Death. develop into into what it is? You all know what speed dating is, right? Well, if you're the owner of a. growing business, what if there was a. feature like speed dating, but only for. hiring? In other words, you could meet. several interested, qualified candidates. all at once. Well, good news, there is.

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writing. And uh I think the first time. we went into the studio was in '. 83 and we started doing a demo. It was a. three song demo. I might be wrong on the. on the date, but it was somewhere around. there. And um that started to circulate. and people I remember Scott Ian from. Anthrax had been doing a show at the RCA. uh country club um in Rita, California. And uh I I went to go see them because. we were were friends and I said, "I want.

you to hear this song." And I played him. Love to Death. And he lost his mind. He'd never heard anything like that. before. And um that that was beginning. of our friendship and it's lasted a long. time. And um when it came time for the. album, we had gone down to uh record. company. It was it was called uh what. was it called? Prodigy or something like. that. It was like an um like a like a.

new wave uh alternative kind of a Enigma. was the name. As much as I say Enigma, that's the name of the at the record. company. So, we went to Enigma and we. talked to them and uh they were not. interested because we weren't the kind. of music that they know what to do with. So, um I thought that was uh respectable. because they uh didn't say, "Oh, yeah, we want to sign you, but we don't know. what to do with you." Yeah. You know, so. then we went to Combat. combat was owned. by important records and and uh I I went.

and talked to this guy named Cliff. Cultrary and uh Cliff was the vice. president at the uh California uh side. of of important records. And we went in. and we played the record for him and and. he goes, "Okay, um let me make a call.". And so he he calls up his uh his boss. out in New York and meanwhile we left. We were walking to the car and we heard. this coming down the road and this fat. guy's running after us and all of a.

sudden we recognize it's the guy we just. met and he goes, "Wait, wait, wait. Come. back in. Come back in. We we want to. talk to you." So we signed our first. record deal, The Combat. And um that. that was uh my introduction into the. music industry. I mean, what what is the life of a rock star. like? I mean, now you're in it. You've. got a record deal, you're doing. concerts, tons of people are showing up.

What does a day in the life look like. back then or now? Back then, um, well, it was just a constant party. Uh, I had. a significant other at the time, so I. wasn't really catting around, but uh, there were there were loads of people. partying all the time. And, uh, you know. how that ends, you know, constant. constant partying, money going out the. window, you know, people getting. arrested or getting in accidents or.

stuff like that. Never ends well. Was it a good time? For me, it it was uh it was not really a. good time. It was. um I got off on it, but it wasn't a good. time. It was a bad time, but I enjoyed a. bad time because I was dangerous and. people knew it. The headlines used to. say, "We were the most dangerous band.". And and I saw that headline once before. from Molly Crew and I thought, "What a.

what what a [ __ ] mistake you made. there. Those guys aren't dangerous." And. um because you know, you talk about the. real deal. Did they practice what they. preached? Are they willing to go live in. a in a van to go get their music out to. the masses. We traveled around the. nation for years uh from a station wagon. to a van to a camper and um we got a. motor home and we thought, "Shit, we've. arrived." You know, and and then when we. got our first bus, that was a big deal.

That was a big deal. It was kind of like. the bus from Almost Famous. Yeah. But it. probably was a bus from Almost. Famous. But uh um you know, now we. travel. We travel well. We uh we don't. um do a lot of the crazy stuff we used. to do. We don't we don't outlaw that. You know, if people want to be around us. and drink and celebrate and you know, the only thing I'm not not really cool. about is is uh you know, illicit stuff. like you know, powders and stuff like.

that. that that to me people that are in. that. circle they're dangerous people to be. around because if ever there was a. momentary flip in their mentality they. could become very dangerous. How old were you in 1983 when when Meade. Death was 22 22 years old when Megan. started. Yeah. Were you ever into. the We'll save that for later. I want to. get into some addiction stuff, but we'll.

save that for later. But I mean, what is. the first when's the first concert when. you show up and there's just thousands. and thousands and thousands of people. out there? That was a long time coming. because, you know, the scene was so. small in the beginning. We were doing it. when a big concert was a soldout uh. stone or sold out Gardens or stuff like. that. You know, that's what the scene. was like. You know, you could always. have fair weather fans when when.

Symphony came out and the Count. Extinction album came out. That was a. record that um got huge commercial. success because the time was right and. there was there was a lot of fair. weather fans that bought the album just. because Mega Death is the cool band. right now, right? Um I don't know if that answered your. question or not. Well, kind of what I'm. getting at is the adrenaline that. I'm But I've never done anything like.

that. But. don't I think I think I've passed my. time even if that was on the cards for. me. But but I mean, you. know, but I'm no I'm no stranger to. adrenaline. I mean, going out on. operations and and and hitting targets. and stuff like that, there's a a major. adrenaline rush and you get addicted to. it.

And so, I'm kind of in a weird way maybe. trying to relate to you a little bit. with with the rush that maybe you felt. going. Well, I got a rush when we were. back down at Dana Point. Really? Yeah. Sure. People listening to something, you. know, you've been an outcast. You've. been a a a child that your family has. made to feel less than and everything he. does. And now all of a sudden you do one. thing, right? Maybe maybe. maybe this is meant for me. And and that.

was kind of my way out. You know, I. didn't see the I I I don't think I would. have ever done anything harmful to. myself, but I just did not see any kind. of an existence with the way I was going. before I started playing music. It it. just God, what would I have been? A cash. register repair person like my. dad. Was it like a light switch? Did it. go from hundred, couple hundred people.

to tens of thousands? Well, I I I'll. tell you what you're asking and I'll. save you the incremental questions. The. one concert that really blew me away was. in 1988 at Castle Donington when we. played with Iron Maiden and Kiss and. David Lee Roth and Guns and Roses. Guns. and Roses played before us at that time. Two people died there, but excluding the. unfortunate deaths, that concert.

was 140,000 people. Holy [ __ ] And the. Guinness Book of World Records has the. sound system used for that concert as. the biggest most powerful public address. system ever assembled for a concert. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And of course we. did Rock and Rio which had, you know, it. was another concert over 100,000. And. then we started doing the Sonospheres, you know, one of those got up. I think. it was around 200,000. But for me, those.

really really really big concerts, they. they don't feel. um they they don't feel like uh I'm. making a connection with people in the. back. You know, the people up front, I. can see them. I can see them cheering. I. can see their signs, their shirts, you. know, who they're with, how they're. acting, if they're moshing, if they're. just throwing their hands up in the air, if they're singing. You know, those are. some of the greatest uh shots we've ever. gotten is the fans when they're they're.

just loving the music. Because you look. at the cross-section of our audience, there are a lot of different types of. people, not just all middle-aged white. males or young white males. It's it's. people of color. It's people uh that are. young. There are people that are old. They tend to stay in the back. And um. there's a lot of a lot of girls there. And and you just don't see that with. metal, you know, very few metal bands. Why were you called the most dangerous.

band? Cuz we were. What does that mean? Well, we um went to our release party. for Peels, but Who's Buying? We took two. limousines there. And we were inside the. bar getting drunk and they called it the. Firefly bar because they would pour. alcohol down the bar and light it on. fire every set amount of minutes. I. guess maybe it was hourly or something. and I was getting entertained in. there and of course it came time to go. get more drugs and we went outside and.

one of the limousines were. gone and I was pissed and I said, "Where's the limo?" And Chris tells me. that his girlfriend and the rest of the. girls got in the car and took. off. And we got into the limousine and. Chris started saying stuff to me. So I. started beating him up in the limo and. then. um I can't remember. if Gar was sitting next to me and then.

Chris came toward me and I kicked him in. the. face. Yeah, that's what happened. So, I. mean, you know, people know that kind of. stuff and and it gets around. People. were talking. We were the, you know, there was a a a set of acts that each. label had that were their dangerous. people. You know, capital had Mega. Death. They had Poison who uh was a. different walk of life than we were. But. to some people, they were dangerous just.

as well, you know. But, uh, for us, I. think it had to do with, um, how we were. living, how we were, you know, um, flopping at people's houses. We, uh, squatted on a couple people. Um, I. remember we went to one kid's house. named Billy Cordera, who was a really. great guy. Um, and he let us spend the. night there for I think it was 6. months. Um, supposed to just spend one. night.

and Yeah. Thank you, Billy. What I mean, what was the first album. that went platinum. countdown? Countdown went double. platinum and then peace and. then Youth Nation was certified platinum. when it came out because it had sold a. million records before we even saw the. record company that campaign. And.

uh h yeah. uh countdown was I think the first one I. think. So yeah I. mean sorry I keep asking age but how old. are you? Mid20s when first one goes. platinum. Yes. I mean, how were you. intaking at that young age all the fame. and all the notoriety and albums going. platinum and I mean, was that was that.

how do you navigate that? I didn't. understand the question. I'm sorry. How. do you. navigate the rise to fame and all the. exposure that you're getting and and and. the fans and all of that? I mean, that's. a lot to take in for somebody that age. I wasn't doing very good with it. Um, the I was 30 when Countdown came out. Okay. Yeah. And uh you fortunately for. me, I had already. um I'd already met Pam and.

uh um we we'd gotten married and and uh. Justice was born. So, wait, let me let. me get my dates right. Countdown came. out in in. I. think I think 92 and we got married in. '91. May 33rd in March 3rd 91 Justice. was born February 11th '.

92. Trying to think I can't remember the. date, but it was pretty it in Asia got. certified way faster than Countdown did. And retroactively, a lot of the albums. prior to Countdown has been certified. gold and/or platinum. How did you meet Pam? That was funny. Um, this guy that was a. a personal assistant for Steven Adler. from Guns and Roses. His name was Ronnie. some Ronnie Schneider. and Ronnie um was.

helping Steven and ended up getting. addicted to heroin while in that circle. and uh he went to treatment and he got. out and he called me and he said, "I. have to go do a show tonight. Please. come with me and help me stay sober.". And I said, "Okay, you got I'm your man. I got your back." You were sober at the. time. Yeah. Yeah. So I uh I went with him and.

and I'm in this club and I'm there with. Nick and this friend of Nick named Juan. Juan's really dark complexed and it's. got these gigantic white. teeth and uh Ronnie So Ronnie goes and. does this thing and I'm sitting in here. bored. It's not a lot of fun things to. do in a bar if you're not drinking. I. don't know if you've ever sat in a bar. and you're not drinking. It's a It's a. shitty place to be in. So, I'm looking. around and I see this this.

woman. She was very young at the time. And and I just thought, "Wow, she's. really pretty." And uh I'm looking and. I'm thinking, I'm looking and I finally. say, "Hey, Juan, go over and tell that. girl I want to meet. her." That's how I roll, right? And uh. rolled. And so he uh he he goes over there and. it's kind of dark and I see his face and. then all of a sudden these giant white.

teeth are flashing and I'm thinking uh. what's so. funny? So he comes back and he said. what's so funny? Goes she said you want. to mute or you need to go over there. yourself. And I went spice. I like that. So I walked over to her and and I said. hi I'm Dave. She goes I know who you. are. I thought, "Well, this is going to. be great." So, I said, "Listen, I just. am here helping my friend stay sober and. uh I'm sober myself and uh I want to get.

out of here. I'd like to see you again. Can I take you out to lunch?" And she. didn't know what was going on. So, I got. her number and I left and that was it. And then uh couple days later, maybe I. don't even think it was that long, I. called her back and and we went out for. a little while and and I was falling for. her and I knew that um I was falling for. her. So I broke up with her and I needed. to make sure. So um I broke up with her.

It was really painful. I went to Hawaii. with my bodyguard and he. uh he was talking to me while I was out. there. philosophical kind of stuff, not. Aristotle or anything like that, but. just just life, you know. And I said, you know, Tony, I I think I love this. chick. I think I wanna I want to marry. her. So, we had a concert in Hawaii and. and I had invited her to come out and. her mom and her stepfather who I didn't. like and her grandma who I loved and her.

brother and I think he brought his. girlfriend and my three sisters and my. sponsor and. uh the guy. who was going to be the best man at my. wedding, a bank robber who had murdered. two people. I thought that was a pretty. street cred kind of guy to be your best. man. Just kidding. So, um Pam's in the hotel and I knock on the. door because we just got to Hawaii and.

and uh she was there ahead of me and I. said, "Hey, what are you doing on. Tuesday?" And she got mad cuz she didn't. know what I was doing. I said, "Do you. want to get married?" And she flipped. out. So, we now are on the hunt for a. wedding dress for. my skinny, rail thin wife in Hawaii, and. uh we're trying to find a nice suit for. me. So, Pam got lucky and found like. some 8-year-old wedding dress from some. playhouse or something. And I had a suit.

that looks like it was made out of. wriggly chewing gum wrappers. And it was. actually I look like the Tin Man from. Wizard of Oz, but it had a little bit of. some fashion to it. It's this bright. shiny aluminum looking suit. And it's. all I could get. It's all I could. find. And um I remember we were standing. at the base of uh Punchbowl, you know, in Wy Ki, Diamond Head, the volcano, and. that's where we got married, right under.

the volcano. Wow. Yeah. It was really. neat. Wow. How long have you been married? 34 years. almost. What's the secret to a. successful marriage? Um, you have to say this, honey. I've. been thinking and you're probably right. and I'm going to try harder next. time and mean it. You know, if you. really mean it because if you if you. tell them, you know, I've been thinking. that first off that confuses them.

because they don't think we know how to. think. And then when you say you're. probably right inside they have piñatas. being burst and and all kinds of sky. streamers and stuff and then when you. say you're going to try harder they go. it's good game over. So I'm just playing. but you know you need to have to look at. things as two different completely. different organisms that are trying to. coexist in the same body. you have to.

make uh uh sacrifices and you have to. make um I don't want to say consolation. because that's not the right word I want. to say but you know you do have to make. some some and sacrifice is the wrong. word because it's too too much but you. do have to make some adjustments you. know and I think the better that the. opposite spouse is of being aware of the. other spouse's needs and wants the. better the relationship's going to be. cuz sometimes you just got to walk away. when Pam fights with me, I just walk.

away. You know, she'll throw [ __ ]. she'll scream, she'll call me names, but. you know what? At least my side my side. stopped. And sometimes cooler heads. prevail. Um, sometimes I walk away and. then she'll say something and I got to. do a U-turn and go back and jump right. in the fight. But for most often times, you know, we we uh we try and be really. respectful of one another and and you. know, I really try and help Pam with. support from the kids, too, cuz they're.

they're adults now and and they don't. want to be looked at like kids. They. want to be looked at as adults. Mhm. How long after you guys got married did. was Justice. born. He was. born in. wedlock. We'd been married 11 months. I. think we got pregnant about second or.

third month. I think. Wow. You guys. aren't messing around. No. Um, no. I. think I think I think it was just meant. to be, you know, because we weren't. really getting a lot of time to spend. together. I was touring a lot, so it was. meant to be. I love my son. How do you. How did you. manage being a husband, being a father. to your two kids, touring, all the exposure? I'm sure.

women are throwing themselves at you. left and right. I mean, how do you how. do you manage all that? Well, they. walked. The women walked. They didn't. throw. themselves. That was a joke. I I know. Um, how was it? Well, you know, it's I. guess it's like anything if you know. what your priorities are. You know, some. people can walk into a candy store and. want one of everything, you know, and. and then you end up sick at the end. you. know, I uh I got to a point in my life.

where I knew I was ready to find the. person I wanted to spend the rest of my. life with. And um you know, I I came. really close. I was engaged to somebody. for 6 years one time. And uh she was the. muse for a lot of the early songs. because our relationship was so toxic. But um. um if I would have stayed engaged to. her just a few more months, it would.

have been a common law marriage in. California cuz at 7 years you're. married. So, um I don't know if I took. that into consideration or it just. happened that way, but it happened that. way. And you got sober before you guys met? Me and Pan. Yeah. Yeah. How bad did your addictions get? Well, I I mean it it never got bad. I. had money. You mean how how down did it.

how how much did I do? Yeah. Uh I I used. a lot, but I had a high tolerance. And. um you. know, as far as doing my job, when it. was time to go out on the road and it. was time to get on stage, we got on. stage. And then when everybody got off. stage, that was when the party started. up again. You know, it was just a way of. life at the time in Los Angeles, you. know. Mhm. I. mean, I'm 3 years 3 years off booze, uh,

a little over 3 years. And I mean, I. can totally relate with addictions. I. mean, I was addicted to to pain pills, benzo, volume, Xanax, hydrocodine, Tramodol, Oxy, ambient. Putting down a damn near. two-fifths a day of of vodka. That's the. only thing I haven't done that you said. Which one? The two-fifths of vodka.

You've done all those? Yeah. Was it a. regular? No, it was whatever anybody had. that was partyables. And you know, you. go to a party and hey, I got some. ambient. You want some? Sure. What does. it do? What's going to make you fall. asleep in your food? Well, that sounds. like a really fun drug. You know, consequently, I don't really like. ambient. I I uh the other stuff you said. valium valium I need to go get uh uh.

x-rays cat scans. like I can't do it when I have lensology. now that I've had ear nose throat cancer. head and neck cancer they have to look. down my nose with that camera I can't do. that I have to take a volume for that. but am I addicted to it no. what what is it that got you so I mean. why did you I was in Texas and I'd hurt. my arm really. bad. And um was talking to this pastor. and he goes, "Man, you you need the.

Lord, Dave." And I went, "No, I don't. I. I've I've had enough, God." So he goes, "Why don't you go up. onto the hill?" Up on the hill was a. fire ring, and there was. two sections of building that went. together like this, and had a cross. hanging down in the middle of it. Of. course, I was brought a chovous witness. the cross was a torture device and and. um Jesus wasn't hung on a cross. He was. hung on a tree. Blah blah blah. All this.

stuff that they believe that I don't. So. I'm looking at the cross and I I'm just. thinking to myself, man, what have I got to lose? And those six simple words set me on my. road to uh new lifestyle and uh new. existence because I went down the hill. And I told the little pastor, I said, "Yeah, man. I think I think I want to. try this. uh I just was up there and I said, "What.

have I got to lose?" And he goes, "Okay, well, let's do the sinner's prayer." And. he goes, "Get down on your knees." And I. said, "Nope. We need to get on your knees to. do the sinner's prayer." Nope. Not doing. it. not praying on my knees. I'll say. the prayer, but I'm not getting on my. knees. And I did the prayer. I didn't. get down on my knees. And I just. couldn't bring myself. to that place yet. I was not at that. place yet. I mean, I prayed. I prayed. all the time because I thought that. you're supposed to do. But um the.

sinner's. prayer, what is that? I don't know if I. like the sound of that. So, we did it. And um I told my wife and she started. laughing and said her friends knew that. was going to happen. And and. uh you know from that point on it was it. was um you know just a series of. learning stuff, learning how to coexist. with other people that may or may not be. enlightened, you know. Um so many sayings that I learned.

growing up like walking a mile in. another man's shoes, you know, you think. what the hell does that mean? And then. something like that happens where you. your your life changes. Something that's. been a part of your existence every day. Every day. I I was telling somebody the. other day that when we lived in uh. Silver Lake, California, David Ellison. would come into my bedroom every. morning. Well, not every morning. He. would come into my bedroom and he would. have a.

mirror and he. would give it to me and we were off to. the. races. So, it's kind of how we lived. It. was just I didn't know any better. What. brought you to the pastor specifically? My arm injury. Your arm injury. Yeah. Is this about the same time that you. stopped doing I mean I read that you. stopped doing witchcraft around 30. Sounds like it went on for about 15.

years. It ended way before that. Okay. I'm pretty sure you know I think about. it all the time. Whenever I something. pisses me off I think, man, I'll just. No, I. won't. And I've actually when my sister. was alive, I called her up a few times. and talked to her and she talked me out. of it a few times because I was at the. end of my rope and and I knew it worked. So, but didn't do it. It's sounds like you were in in some I. think I think you described it as a.

satanic depression. Uh, no. Um, oppression. There was a It was like a. like a possession, not not depression, like like having a spirit on you. What. did How? Well, when you open up the doors to the. to the dark, they're not going to wait. to be invited in. They're coming, right? And if I believe in God, then I have to. believe in the devil, right? And I.

believe in God. I believe in Christ. I. believe in the devil. I believe they're. demons. I believe they're angels. still don't know what the real estate. looks like up in the heavens, but um you. know, it's it's I've got a pretty good. understanding of a lot of that stuff. And. um I don't know, the the stuff that. happens when you get really drugged out. a lot of times you you start to do um. really unnatural things, you know, because you're on drugs. Well, why.

wouldn't you? You're you're not. yourself. You either have liquor in you, which is called spirits for a reason, or. you're on stuff that's like an opiate, who which makes you um think everybody's. your friend, and um you know, or you. smoke pot and you're paranoid of. everybody, or you take sedatives, which. for some people, they need them. They. need them to be able to not wear the. people out around them. And uh other. people need stimulants like children who.

have been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, you know, but when somebody starts. grinding pharmaceutical speed because. they like it, you know, it's kind of. what meth is. So, do you think you were possessed? Oh, I know it was because we we tried to get. uh get my life in order and stuff just. kept happening and we would go see. people who were spiritual in nature and. and they would say that they they see.

something. The priest that was in uh we. went to go see a I forgot I told Darren. all this stuff too. We we had. um been talking about what had happened, Pam and I, and I said that I wanted to. get rid of this. So, we went to this uh. person, her name was uh I think it was. Caroline, somebody and um her husband. was a Green Bay Packer football player. So, I thought it was legit and she was a.

doctor. So, she would do these kind of. clearing things and she had this India. Indian guy that was a a Raja come over. He was like a preacher that did laying. on hands, cupping, acupuncture. And um. so he came over and he said uh when he. was doing the acupuncture on me, he was. meditating behind me and he fell over. And he said that there was a man with a. silver turban that came out and said, "I. release him." And that's when he fell. over. When we went to San Francisco to. go see the Filipino priest, he said that.

he laid hands on me and the. bull, the head of a bull came out of my. chest, out of my stomach. He said, "That's holy shit." Yeah. And and I. didn't see it. I didn't feel it. I don't. know what the [ __ ] happened, but you. know, in the spirit world, you know, it. I don't know if I would see it because I. don't know if I have that gifting to see. the the demons. Um, but you know, he had. said the same thing. So, um, there were. several people that had nothing in. common that knew that there was.

something going on with me. And, uh, finally it broke. And uh you know I I. remember getting uh baptized at some. place in Northridge, California. And. um somebody and this this is freaky. This is freaky. Somebody had said that. there was a lot of weird stuff going on. in that room at the time like chairs. were moving around cuz there was a bunch. of people in there that were getting. baptized and there was a lot of tongues. being spoken and stuff. I didn't see any.

of that stuff. So I I I you know I got. to see it myself to believe it. But, you. know, I I uh that's what I heard was. going on in there, and I was thinking, man, that's pretty cool. Cuz if this. whole God thing's real and I live my. life like there is a God, then I'm not. going to regret it. Have you ever seen anything? Demon, supernatural. Um, like a demon. Anything? Not in the physical. Visions. Yeah. But. not in the physical.

But you know, you do too. You see, I. have dreams. Oh, I've had several occurrences where. where I've experienced things, not. necessarily seen, but heard or feel. Walk into a room that's really cold all. of a sudden. Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. There's a lot of stuff like that. We have a song we wrote about some young. girl named Mary Jane Twiliger who was a. witch and her dad found out and he. buried her alive. And uh this was in the.

city right north of where Ellison lived. And we went out there uh to go visit. that place and and uh it was creepy. It. was really creepy. But. uh that was it. It was just creepy. You. know, I didn't hear any owls. The wind. didn't blow. You know, I did hear, and. this could be another bit of folklore, but somebody pushed her headstone over. and they when they went back to their.

car, they found their car keys on the. hood. That's wild, man. Yeah, that's. crazy. It's wild. We had. uh I've had a bunch of these. experiences. One of them I was. interviewing this a friend of mine. priest same's father Dan Reh Hill he's. an. exorcist and uh I remember when he came. in here he was like look he's like weird. [ __ ] happens when I start talking about. this stuff he's like the cameras might.

go out who knows what and he was talking. about. exorcisms and then he brought up Christ. and the AC unit right there just went on. full blast like immediately just started. whooshing. I mean, I've had a a bunch of these. experiences, but that's awesome. It's. made me realize how real the spiritual. realm is. It's real. And um and you. know, just to move on a little further, I mean, after at some point after you found.

Christ again, it you quit singing, you. qu you you quit performing certain. songs. What songs were those? It was. only because I didn't didn't really know. um what I mean I knew what I was singing. about but from a spiritual point of view. I didn't really know if I wanted to sing. it anymore because one of the songs. had almost all of the hex in it um that. I used and I I didn't want to sing that.

anymore. because you know what happens if. somebody figures out the rest of the. stuff that's. missing you. Mhm. Mhm. And um I haven't seen. anything, but I know stuff happens to. me. I know people have put um curses on. me. I know that they've cursed our dogs. Um we had a dog who died and I prayed. over her and she came back to life long. enough for us to get her to.

the veterinarian where she said goodbye. to us all and she passed away there. But. she was she was dead. Dead dead. Pam was. hysterical and and I said, "Let me pray. over." So, who put curses on you? Uh, people that don't like what I sing. about, people that don't like Megade. that may um like other bands. There was. a guy in uh in the past there was a band. called Dioed and um we were playing in.

Israel and I was really excited about. playing in Israel and I wanted to see. what Meade Death looked like in Israeli. font. Right. So I look at the website. for the festival and it says the name of. the thing and it says our name and then. it says this band. dased and I I. went what is that? So I looked it up and. the guy said that he's a Satanist and. that.

um I was his mortal enemy. Are you. serious? Yes. and he'd already killed. two. people. And so I figured, man, I walk in. the light and I'm covered in the blood. and [ __ ] you're gonna try. anything with me, you're going to know. And so I went there. I went to go do the. concert. I wasn't backing down. And uh. my manager had got there before me and. he said he walked next to the kid and he. bumped into him. And the guy goes, "Oh,

sorry, sir. Sorry, sir." And I said, "Well, where is And he goes, "He left.". Wait, wait. The guy that wants to kick. my ass. We're in the same spot for the. first time and who knows how long or. ever will be. And he leaves. So much for. wanting to have a confrontation with me. And he's dead now. He's dead now. Commits suicide. Wow. So what I think. happened is the the guy.

um was probably a good musician. He. probably had some kind of abuse happen. in his life where he turned away from, you know, love and and kindness and. what's good in the world and started. drawing towards other people who had the. same kind of hardships that he did. because misery loves company, right? Mhm. You get a guy that has the same. things happening to him or he says he. understands and then they start drawing. you in. Mhm. And pretty soon you know. what you're saying. I hate my parents.

Pretty soon you're stealing stuff from. them, you know, and then you're asked to. leave like I. was after. you got sober. I mean, are you still. still clean today? I'll drink wine and I. take my cancer medication. That's it. That's it. Mhm. Did you Was it hard for. you to get sober? Yeah, of course. It was harder to quit. cigarettes than than it was to uh quit.

anything else. No [ __ ] So, you just. quit everything cold turkey? No. I had. to go to a clinic to stop smoking. cigarettes and they gave me a shot in my. neck and I had to wear these little. transcopal patches for a couple days and. then I had to go wash all my clothes and. clean my whole house out all ashtrays. and smoking. paraphernalia and took it took uh. psychedelics for me. Did I went um micro.

doing? No, I went down uh to a facility. in Mexico called Ambio Life Sciences and. uh now the guy that runs, good friend of. mine, his name's Trevor. But um I. actually went down there when when this. show. started really getting big because I I I. could not be in the moment with my kid. And then my my son was just born and so. I was trying to manage it all, be a good.

husband, try to figure out how to be a. good new father. And I just I couldn't. be in the moment. And I was still. addicted to pills and I was still. addicted to still an alcoholic. And uh. although I toned it down quite a. bit, but really what I went down there. for was. um anxiety of of the rise of the show. and being in the moment. And I went down. there and I did this stuff called, have. you ever heard of. Ibagane?

I comes from a a root in Africa. I think. the only place you can find it is. Gabone. And I'd had former colleague after. former colleague come on the show and. talk to me about about psychedelic. therapy for PTSD, traumatic brain. injury, uh curing addiction, addiction, especially. opiates. And cuz it's that's just. something that the the the veteran. community really struggles with. You go.

you go to the VA, you get a doctor, they. put you on pills or any doctor, and then. rather than weaning you off the pills, they just feed you more and more and. more and and then if they do cut you. off, a lot of guys wind up on the. streets looking for heroin. That's how. we were talking about my best friend. earlier. That's how how he died. And I. went down there, like I said, just to be. in the moment with my with my with my.

new family. And I came out of that. experience, like a 12-hour experience to. take a capsule. And it. had it was like everything that was. poison that was that I was putting into. my body um I had like this intuitive. sense and it it took away all my. cravings to get back on pills or to keep. drinking. and I kicked it that day. that was uh.

Valentine's Day whatever 3. 2022 and um and so I've done a bunch of. interviews on psychedelics and. and what I found was the the science. behind it. is it. replenishes all the receptors in your. brain that have been beat to [ __ ] from. from opiates from aderall from cocaine. from yeah all of.

booze. And when it when it replenishes. the receptors, it takes the cravings. away. And so it's it's literally like a. light switch. It was just like I had no. cravings. I had I didn't want it. I. haven't had a drop. Quit smoking weed. for for a long time and then that kind. of came back. But I'll smoke pot every. once in a while, too. Yeah. But just. rarely. Yeah. And uh but all that [ __ ].

went away. Even sugar and and caffeine. went away for a long time. I still. haven't drank coffee. And it's I got off. coffee, too. I'm drinking tea now. So. yeah, same here. Back a bunch of. granny's. I know, right? But Mega Death. and Sean Ryan, a bunch of old granny's. But it really like it helped me. And. um it's. helped I have no idea how many people. it's helped, but it's. just about everybody that I served.

with with the exception of a few have. because it's like the same story, man. Everybody's story is different, but it. all is very similar going down the. addictions and and and and on top of. that, it it it man, it's just like it. cures the mind. And so another thing. that it does is like with with. uh post-traumatic stress and and TBI and.

post-traumatic stress which it puts a. blocker. There's like the neurons in. your. brain move through a thing called the. default mode network and that's. basically from the front of your brain. to the back or Yeah. And and that's how. they do. But when we were born and. you're younger, the neurons communicate. through these neuropathways in your. brain. And as we get older and you start. seeing people get set in their ways and. addictions and all that kind of [ __ ]. it's because the neurons get lazy and.

they use the default mode default mode. network, which is like a highway. And so. what these psychedelics will do is. they'll basically put a damn roadblock. into the default mode network and it. forces the neurons. to reopen all these neuropathways that. have not been used in decades. Yeah. And. and you're able to look at a lot of. things that have happened in your life. from a different.

perspective. Kind of like an unemotional. perspective. And it makes certain events. How do I say this? It makes it makes. certain traumatic experiences in your. life, it's it spins it from another. perspective and kind of makes it put you. at peace with whatever happened to you, right? And um and then after it was like. a. week-long thing where they they like get.

you ready for it and teach you breathing. techniques and all these other things. and then you do it on a Wednesday. You. do the Ibegan on a Wednesday. It's like. a 12-hour experience. Then you have what. they call gray day which is like the. worst [ __ ] hangover you could ever. imagine. And then and then on the Friday. you smoke. Have you heard of 5me DMT? No. Oh man. Man, you got some good It's.

It's a It's a toad venom. It comes from. a toad. Oh, it's a poisonous toad. Yeah. And you smoke it and you have a you have. a full-on death experience. Oh, that. sounds fun. Well, it's not, but the. death experience lasts maybe 30 seconds, 30, 45 seconds. Is it constriction in. your chest? Because they did something. like that when I had a a heart test. No, it's it's it's in your mind. So, you. smoke it and then you do a count. backwards from.

10. and it's it's like the most anxiety, most fear I've ever felt. of all my time in combat, everything. that I did. Holy cow. This was. like in your brain. So, but so what. happens is is apparently, and I might be. a little off on this, but when you die, your penal gland in your brain empties.

and whatever's in there, I can't. remember the the chemical, maybe it's. maybe it's serotonin or I don't know. what it is, but but it dumps and it. gives you like this euphoric experience. But before that you're in in your. mind and and that's what happens with 5. MO is you get a penal gland dump. But. before before you kind of cross over in. your mind you are. 100% certain that you are going to die.

and all the like you. start you. start separating from everything that. you're attached to. And it kind of. starts with like all the [ __ ] maybe. like I don't know [ __ ] possessions or. money or what whatever it is and and and. like things just start offloading like. you're like okay I can let go of that. I. can let go of that. But it's a very it's. a. very like I said it's the most fear mo.

most anxiety I've ever felt. And the. last thing for me that I c I could not. let go of that I was hanging on to is my. wife and my son. And I remember thinking. I c I cannot depart this [ __ ] up world. and leave my wife and my son behind. I. have to be here for him. And then I let. them go. And once I let them go, it felt. like there was this tar. like it it was.

like I didn't see anything. It was like. a It was like an intuitive experience. And I felt like all this tar was like. wrapped around my heart, like covering. my heart. And I could I could couldn't. see it, but I. could it was like it was coming off my. heart. And then my heart was pure again. And then and then once you die and you. let everything go, you cross over into.

this other realm. And then in the other. realm that you cross over into. is like pure bliss, very. euphoric. And I swear I think it's like. a spiritual realm that we don't have. access to. Or maybe we had as access to. it like way early on before language and. electronics and all that these kind of. distractions and [ __ ] But but you you.

it I I think you tap into the spiritual. realm and like I'd always heard about. energy and you know [ __ ] like that Tesla. stuff. Yeah. Well, not not that kind of. stuff like you know like hippies talk. about it. Good energy bad energy. Yeah. And I never bought into that and I. always despised hippies being a SEAL and. a CA contractor. But a after that, like. I opened my eyes and and uh we're at.

this little beach house down in Mexico. and I could see I swear, man, I could. see energy flowing from the islands into. the water, up the beach, into the trees, and I could it was like the first time I. had realized that the hippie say this. [ __ ] too. Everything is one. Everything's connected. And I was. like, I could just intuitively like see. it. And if they're Can you see energy. fields around people? I I wouldn't say I've seen that, but can. you? Yeah.

Who do you see energy fields around? I. see it on you right now. What does it. look like? It's just a It's like a black. shadow. It's mostly on this side. Do you see that on a lot of people? No, it's there. Um, no I don't. Is it. freaking you out? No, I was just looking. at it. Just looking at making sure it. wasn't the building, but it's not.

Shadows in here. Yeah, there's it's like. an energy field on you. Interesting. Well, when I crossed. over, I could I could feel the presence. of people that I love. Gabe Gabe was. there. I didn't talk to him. I didn't. see him. I could just fiscade. Yep. I. could just feel him. And. um and. uh man, it.

was it was amazing. And um that lasts. for about 15 minutes and then you come. out of it. And that's actually I guess. what maybe sparked my journey back to. Christ because I I never really thought. about it when I left home and joined the. SEAL teams. just I wouldn't say it. doesn't have a place in the SEAL teams, but it's just not really discussed at. least my in my experience. And um it's. all.

missionoriented and women and bar fights. and booze and drugs and all of that. [ __ ] At least when I was. in and. uh it all went away, man. It it it made. me realize, okay, there's definitely. something bigger than us in this in this. universe. And that that sent me down. like I don't know, man. I I started. looking into energy. And I started.

looking at I would I probably I still. watch them, but more documentaries than I can count. on. Yeah. On the universe and [ __ ] like. that. And then and then I had uh an. experience in Sedona that brought me to. Christ where I we were kind of talking. about this earlier like weird. coincidences and [ __ ] like that that. happens and the vortex. Yeah. Well, that's that's why I went to Sedona cuz I. was like, "Oh man, I want to feel this. energy fields cuz there's all these. supposed energy fields out there." I.

went up there. I didn't feel [ __ ] And. uh and. uh and at the time like there was a lot. of things going on at the world in the. world um that I just thought were really. [ __ ] up and I felt like I was the only. voice out there that was that was. fighting this [ __ ] Mhm. Stuff like, you. know, just all kinds of stuff, man. China, stuff going on in China, which. I'm really spun up on China and and and.

I started diving into the pedophilia. networks and and exposing that. And my. best friend here in Franklin died the. day before we went there and um the. trans stuff with kids like that. Is that. connected with your best friend with. with with your best friend dying? Was. that connected to what you guys were. talking about? No. No, my best friend. died from from heroin. Oh, right, right, right. You said that. I So, basically, I'm like talking to.

myself and I'm like, man, in my head, I. told my wife cuz I had I had. uh opened Instagram and saw something. that like triggered me again. And I was. like, so I smoked a joint and I was. like, we got to head up to this [ __ ]. vortex. And I was looking at crystals. and all kinds of Yeah. wazu [ __ ] and. um went up there, didn't feel a damn. thing. I was like, "This energy stuff's. bullshit." And um walked down and walked.

through this security. gate. We're staying at this resort. called Enchantment. They got security, whatever. And but because of my. background and because of the show, like. people in the security business, law. enforcement, military, it's just really. big in those circles. So all those guys. knew who I was and I would stop and say. hi and talk with them and and I'd been. there for a week. This was the last. night I walked through and this old man.

walks out of the guard shack who I'd. never seen the whole week I'd been. there. We'd been in in and out all week. and he [ __ ] read my mind from front. to back and he starts talking to me as. I'm walking through and I'm in a. horrible place. I I felt like I had just. surrendered my soul to the devil cuz I. was like well you know why do you care. about all this [ __ ] Sean? Like really it doesn't even affect you. It's it's you probably be able to.

shelter your kids from it. And I was. like just like quit just surrender. Maybe I'm the [ __ ] up one. Maybe we. should be doing all these things. I. don't know. Nobody else seems to give a. [ __ ] And. um and so I'd had this experience where. I felt like I no [ __ ] This is a. conversation I'm having in my head where. I'm just like I shouldn't care about. this. I should just surrender and give. it up. And felt like I had surrendered my soul. to the devil. Walk through this gate. This old man comes out. He's trying to.

talk to me. I'm not in the mood. And I'm. like, "Hey, like I'm not being rude, but. I'm I looking giving body language like. I'm looking to him talking to him over. my shoulder like I don't want to be. bothered right now." So he engages my. wife. Of course, my wife is like a. social butterfly. Turns around, starts. talking to him, and I'm like, "Fuck." So. I turn around and I look at. him and he looks at me and he just. started reading my mind from front to. back. And I hadn't I hadn't even told my.

wife this [ __ ] And he goes he goes all. the stuff that's going on with these. kids. He's like, "That's not your. battle." And all the stuff that's going. on in China right now between US and. China relations, that's not your fight. either. And I was just like looking at. this guy and he know he said a bunch. more stuff, but I my mind went blank cuz. he scared the [ __ ] out of me. I was. like, "How is this guy in my head right. now? I haven't vocalized any of this.

It's impossible for him to. know. And you know, as weird as this. sounds, I think that, like I said, I'd. never seen him there before. We'd been. there for a week. I pay attention to. security cuz my background and and I was. like, "Holy shit." Told Katie at the end. of it when we were walking back to our. bungalow, I was like, "Hey, um, I think that was God talking to me.". That's an angel. Yeah. And she goes, "Yeah, Sean." She goes, "God's always. talking to you. you just don't make any.

room for him. You're not paying. attention. Oh, touche. And um and then. we had gotten up to the to the bungalow. and my friend Gabe that when we first. got there, there was this guy that. looked identical to Gabe. And Gabe was. always known as a protector. He was he. was a pro hockey player. He was an. enforcer on the hockey team. Then he. became he he went pro like. semi-pro. Wasn't going to make it to the. game. He was on the Tampa Bay farm team.

and uh and. then he became a SEAL. He was always the. guy that took care of everybody else. Everybody knew they were fine if Gabe. was around. Then moved into the agency. contracting for them and that's where we. met and he was known for the same thing. there. And then we had gotten out and um. and like I told you he died of a heroin. overdose. And I see I saw this guy everywhere we. were at. If we were on a hike, this guy.

that was identical to Gabe was coming. back. If we were out in town eating. dinner, that guy was out there. If we. were at the pool, he was at the pool. And it was just like Katie the whole. trip. She's like, "Gabe's watching over. you." Cuz she knew as I was in a. vulnerable spot. We walk from the guard. shack to the bungalow and there's Gabe, the the guy that had been everywhere we. were at the whole [ __ ] week. Winds. up. These were like duplexes. He's.

staying in the across he's he's on the. other side of the bungalow. And I'm I. saw that this was like maybe a 5m minute. walk and I'm like holy [ __ ] Like did. you see that Gabe this dude that looks. identical to Gabe has been here the. whole [ __ ] time. M and then so then I. have a breakdown. We go in and I told. you my best friend in Franklin who was. also a seal just died on a hunt trip. with his son. He had a heart attack. Mhm. And his daughter I'd never met.

texts me. So she must have went through. her dad's phone. This is all within 10. minutes. Mhm. And I'm breaking down and. I'm talking to my wife and I'm like I. can't believe this is happening. And. she's like, "Don't say you can't. believe." Like, she's like, "It's here. and he's slapping you in the face right. now." We have this discussion and my. phone my I got a text. I got the ding, but I didn't look at it. After the. conversation, when I kind of cleaned. myself up, I look at the phone and it's.

his daughter and she says, "Hey, I just. want you to know I walked into my dad's. gun room for the first time since he'd. passed. he had this amazing gun. room. And she goes, "He spoke to me and. I can't remember her exact words, but. she said that I had recently become his. best. friend and that he just wants you to. know that he loves you for who you are. and that I should contact you because.

you had a relationship with him that. nobody else. had." A and I was like, "Whoa, that's. very touching." three things in 10. minutes and that's what brought me to. But but it was anyways circling way. back. No, that's good. It was the it was. the psychedelics that kind of put me on. the journey to figure out what this is. all about. And um and that's where I. landed and I've really leaned into it. since.

But but anyways, I don't I can't. remember how we got off on that tangent. But talking about Sedona, yeah, with the. magic mushrooms and everything. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever done any. psychedelics? Uh the motorcycle concert. we did for the bikers up in the hills, they paid us off with magic mushrooms. Um, you know, back in the early ' 80s, late '7s, um, people were they were. taking magic mushrooms a lot and and. also taking LSD, which was, uh, very.

popular at the time. And I did that a. couple times. They didn't like it. because they couldn't turn it off. Yeah. I found out recently that if you just. take an opiate pill when you're frying. that you could come down from it. immediately. And I thought, I'm sure. glad I didn't know that, you know. Yeah. Just I just don't want to know anymore. You've never done them in like a. therapeutic setting with a specific. intention. Not yet, but your story sure.

made me. think. And by the way, that's not black. It's like dark purple. The aura. Mhm. It's still there. Still there. But what. do you think that is? Energy. Um, it's. uh it I'd have to probably know you a. little better, but yeah, it's only on that side. Kind. of kind of shows up a little bit on that. side, but it's it's right by this.

area. Do you have anything going on in. your mouth over. here? You sure? Not that I know of. I. just got a cancer screening. Did they. check your lymph nuts over here? They. checked the whole body. Okay, now you're worried. Well, I' I'd love to say just kidding, but I'm not. I wouldn't have brought it. up. Let's take a break. Want more from the Shawn Ryan Show? Join.

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All right, Dave, we're back from the. break. That was a good conversation we just. had. Thanks. Glad you liked it. You know, I've heard a lot. about satanic stuff going on in. Hollywood in music and. and a lot of kids are aspiring to be to. be a rock star. And uh actually we have.

a mutual friend whose daughter is really. into it and um I know he is. very concerned. about the satanic stuff, the frequencies. and all that kind of stuff. Can you talk. a little bit about. um what that is? I don't know exactly what you're talking. about uh with the frequency stuff um and. the the Satan stuff you're talking.

about. Can you be a little bit. more I think what I'm getting at is is. more like satanic cults and kind of like. the the. the band that you were just talking. about in Israel that you had an well. were going to have an encounter with and. and some of the stuff that you used to. be into. Is that is that pretty is that. running rampid in those circles? See. that that's the whole thing that that I. have to go back to. I don't think. anybody that is practicing witchcraft.

um that that would have been their. natural first. choice unless they had some kind of uh. fractured paradigm for a functional. healthy family, you know. Um not saying. that it has to be a two parent family. Mine wasn't and I turned out pretty. good. My kids are great. Uh Pam and I. have um always taken the approach that. both of us have a very significant role.

and that is to do what we do 100% and be. able to do what the other one does 100%. in necess in in uh times of. necessity. So is it is any of that stuff. pushed on you satanic music? No. I think. the Haraldos of the world are are uh in. in dire need of a severe censoring. You. know, they've got a microphone and and. they just they're just.

blathering holes for lack of a better. word. They say stuff that they think. will get listeners, viewers, readers. And. um you know uh I did something with I. think it was uh one of the network. stations. They were trying to do an. expose on on satanic music and all that. stuff. Same thing basically what you're. asking but a different uh environment. And and I I was just saying you know I.

believe that if somebody is trying. something and it doesn't work they're. going to try something else. No matter. what it is, even if it's, you know, making toothpicks out of logs, if it. doesn't work, they'll find another way. They have to. That's the way we are by. human nature. If we don't like. something, we're going to say screw it. and try and find something new. And and. I think that if you've got a young. person that's very impressionable, it's. like beautiful, clean, fresh clay. and. we're supposed to be responsible for.

helping uh form that person, you know, not control them, but help keep them in. the middle of the roof. And there's not. a lot of people that really care about. that anymore because of society and the. environment and the uh economy because. most families need to have a twoinome. family anymore. And what happens when. there's a two-income family? Well, there. has to be child care. And that's usually. at the hands of somebody in in the. school in an afterchool project or. program or uh having somebody that comes. to your home. And either one of those uh.

any of those choices are uh very. expensive and it's uh it produces. diminishing returns because you've got. to unprogram the nanny or teacher or. substitute or whatever. I remember when. I was uh younger, Justice was just a. baby and I'd hired a nanny for him while. we were on tour. We were in France and I. got off stage and he was crying because. he was just a little kid and uh the. nanny had not changed him and I went.

[ __ ] ballistic. You know, my kid, don't ever ever think that you're going. to work for us again. And and that was. it. she was gone and and uh you know I. changed the diapers and and uh I don't. know I going back to the thing about the. satanic stuff though I think that. usually occurs when people are desperate. and they have nowhere else to go. Do you think there's anything that kids. that want to get into this type of. industry need to watch out for in the.

music industry? Yeah, you have to be. very careful from the pedophilia. You. have to be very careful from the uh the. uh rape for lack of a better word. because if you're not a child and that. same thing happens to you, what is it. called? You know, there's a lot of stuff. that's in TV right now with Shawn Puff, Daddy Combmes, with Jeffrey Epstein, with all these people that are coming. out now getting busted for these crazy.

uh orgies and sex parties and. everything. Um, that that breaks my. heart to think that somebody that was an. adult with a a functioning mind, no. matter how depraved it is, but that they. would that they would assault an. innocent child and rape them. Um, that. to me is uh it's reprehensible and I. don't know why there isn't stricter. punishment for that. I think a lot of it. is because people just don't know what's. happening. Is that that common in the in.

these circles? Well, there are a lot of. people that are very famous musicians. The rumor has that they were executed. because they were getting ready to. expose uh pedophilia. Executed as in killed. Well, the rumors. going around about uh Chester from. Lincoln Park and about Chris from Sound. Garden was that they were making a movie. on on uh child abuse and child. trafficking, I think it was. And uh. they're both gone and it's very. suspicious.

Jeez. Mhm. Yeah. Because they don't want. this stuff to come out. Well, it's out. It is. But um yeah, it's it's pretty pretty sad stuff to. talk about. Yeah. Yeah. You got any. happy questions? Why did you Why did you move to Frank? Why'd you move to Middle Tennessee? Um, well, I love my daughter and we moved.

out here uh because we couldn't find. um uh the first place we went. looking, Texas. And I'm glad we didn't. move there. Not because of the people of. Austin, but because of the interlopers. that have started to invade Austin that. have uh done the exodus from California. We were were we were looking for homes. out there and had gone every Easter out. there to look for 3 years and I finally.

was out here playing and a friend of. mine um I didn't I didn't know who he. was. I had met him and we'd gone our. separate ways and I saw him again and I. went, "Oh yeah, I remember you." So we. started talking and uh I told him, "Well, my daughter wants to be a. singer." And he goes he goes, "Why are. you looking in Austin? you should move. to Nashville. And I said, "Really?" And. he goes, "Yeah, man. It's it's so much. better here." And I I was in a really. good place because we just played the. show with Iron Maiden there and and uh.

all of our friends and neighbors and and. all of our. uh associates that we had here in town. finally get to see me do my job and get. to know a little bit about me in a. professional capacity instead of me just. standing in front of them and yapping. So, um, we, uh, moved out here and she. started pursuing her country career and. then she decided she didn't want to do. country. And I thought, well, that's. great. And she started trying to sing. pop again. And um, she didn't like that.

either. And we had started our wine. business when I played with the San. Diego Symphony in San Diego. Um, I had. this opportunity to play with them and I. wanted to make something unique for them. to drink. I didn't think that the. symphony would have, you know, a lot of. lot of beer on tap or a lot of hardcore. alcohol that they would probably just. have champagne or wine or something. So, I said, uh, I think I want to make a. wine. So, we made a wine and that took.

off really well. And, and then, uh, move forward, fast forward a few. more years, uh, Electra is now a. Somalier. It's one of the youngest. Somalia that was a female. And, uh, she. she's a what? Somalier. What is that? That's a wine taster. They can take a a. little spoon and take a sip of wine and. tell you where it's from. Wow. Yeah. They're very very very uh uh sought. after people because they can taste. the soil. They can taste the.

uh um the group the grouping of the. grape like a red grape will have. numerous red fruit tastes to it. That's. the. idiosyncrasy of the grape. It could. taste like a a cherry. It could taste. like a raspberry. It could taste like a. currant. It could taste like a uh um a. strawberry, for example. You know, a. plum. Those are all the red colors. And.

um so so when you're tasting the wines, to have an educated palette like that is. very desirable for a restaurant and. certainly desirable for a wine company. We want somebody who knows their their. stuff. Now, Electra and Pam are running. House of Mustain, and if you're getting. your wine graded, when you make it into. the 90 percentile, you're you are very. very desirable. Nice. Is Is uh is your daughter still. here? Yeah, she's she's still living.

here. She has her own place that I. bought and uh she's doing the wine and. Justice and I are doing the beer and we. just we're an entrepreneurial family. Um. I I I thank God that my kids um turned. out the way that they did. But it wasn't. for um lack of trying. They certainly. had a rambunctious spirit and we had to, you know, we had Electra was like a a. little little horse and she did not want. to be ridden. and she did not want to be.

on a harness. She didn't want to be on a. halter. She didn't want nothing. She was. going to just live life her way. And. Justice was kind of like that, too. He. actually um wanted to move out when he. was young. So, we let him move. Um he. moved in the house we had in Oceanside. And I went down there one time and he. had just had a little get. together. And I was looking in the house. and I opened up one of the closets and I. saw a smoking device that was about as.

big as your ore over there made out of. glass that I I don't know. I guess the. guy puffs on it for a little while. Another guy comes along when it fills. up. It's the biggest bong I've ever seen. in my life. And um yeah, that's the way. the things were going back then in Cali, you know, because everybody was getting. their medical cards and you know, as. soon as that happened, everybody was. smoking pot 24/7. Mhm. Mhm. You like it. here? I love it here. I think one of the. things that happened when we first got. here was.

um the culture shock. You My blood. pressure went down. I started to really. enjoy um driving in traffic and I. realized that people don't stick their. finger up in the air as much here. They. don't honk. Um I can tell when people. are here that aren't from Tennessee when. they drive out into the middle of the. intersection where they're going to. turn. And uh I used to make that mistake. all the time. I don't now. But uh I can. tell sometimes when I'm just beyond the. point of of any uh coming back to Earth,

I'll honk. You know, of course, I've. said like eight cuss words while I'm. honking, but uh yeah, it's been really. good for me. The cost of living, the. people are wonderful. I I uh I love the. fact that there's hardly any graffiti. anywhere. And uh our particular. neighborhood where we're at has a very. very thorough police presence and. sheriff presence. So, we feel safe. Good. You know, there were some people. in the property behind us. It looked.

like there were about 12 people. um. walking with backpacks and and I. thought, well, that doesn't look right. to me. Um if they were working over. there, they'd probably have some. resembling a tool, you know, something, but they're just a group of people. walking one direction with backpacks on. So, I called the the sheriff and I asked. I said, "Um, do you are you guys aware. of any migrant traffic up here? Um. because there's some people in my. backyard.". And uh they came out and they said, "No,

it was the guy behind you. He was doing. something and he neglected to tell. anybody." And you know what I did? Nothing. If I was back in California, I. would have made a way to let him know. that I didn't appreciate him having. people chomping through my backyard and. make him very aware that I'm upset. You. know, like what you were talking about. with the tripping, you know, stuff. It's. just like taking off a tight pair of. shoes. you just go, you know, life just.

kind of settles back. And I remember one. of the times when um I was staying down. at my mom's house. Um David Ellison and. I had just gotten sober and we were um. down in Elsenor trying to get away from. Los Angeles. And um I remember there was. one day I woke up and I heard the birds. chirping and I thought, I haven't heard. the birds for so long. I just don't. listen for them anymore. And now now.

every morning I hear the birds. I I. listen to nature. I listen I can tell. when there's aircraft in the area. I can. tell when the wind's blowing. I can tell. when the horses are out. You know, I I I. drove past our one pasture yesterday or. the day before and uh I got a mayor for. my wife. Um we have a couple we have. three horses actually. So, I got her a. mayor because her uh geling just passed. away and she put her head up and just.

went just did this huge Winnie and I. thought, man, talk about the life these. guys uh have it made here in Tennessee. The weather's beautiful. The grass is. probably so delicious to them. And our. neighbor is growing alalfa in his grass. for his livestock. So, we have that, too. And our field in our forest is full. of lavender. Nice. How could you. complain about stuff like that? You. can't. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, what's new? What's coming. new with you guys with the winery, with. the beer, with the music? There's a lot. of stuff. Uh we have a book coming out. um in my darkest hours, a book about my. cancer um. diagnosis. Um I went to go see a. dentist. I was out on the road for the. Jimmy Jimmy Hendricks experience. My. mouth hurt and I thought that the guy. that had just done my work had maybe had. a little debris in my mouth, some glue,

maybe a instrument broke off and it was. hurting. So I went there and he goes, "I. can't see anything. You need to go see. an oral surgeon." I go and see the oral. surgeon. The guy looks in my mouth. He. uh leaves for 45 minutes and I'm. thinking, "You [ __ ] right?" I'm just. thinking, man, what what kind of a. doctor are you? This is horrible bedside. manner. And I should have been prepared. from what he did. I walked into the uh. reception area and I said, "Where's the.

doctor?" And the girl goes, "He'll be. right in." So I go in and he walks and. he stands in front of me. He goes, "You. got the big C.". And I looked at him and I. went and I and I I asked him, "What did. you. say?" Cuz I I went into shock. immediately. You got the big. C. And I don't remember anything after. that leaving his office. I just know I. got up and I walked out and I got in my.

car and then I called my wife and I. said, "Honey, I have cancer." And I. didn't notice it, but I'd been sitting. in my car for a little while and I had. tears coming down my eyes because I was. in shock. I didn't know. I just thought. for the absolute worst. And that um is the beginning of the book. and how we made our our best album to. date, The Sick, the Dying, and the Dead. While I was going through cancer. treatment, um I think it was something.

like eight chemo treatments and 30. radiation, something some ridiculous. amount of treatments. Maybe it was 51, I. don't know. Jeez. But it was a lot. And. um they said they wanted to be really. really really aggressive with it because. I was a singer. And um I love my. doctors. They did they did great work. keeping me alive and and uh keeping my. voice. So um yeah, that's one thing. we're doing. We also are resurrecting.

our our big festival tour Gigantor. Um. we have a couple one-offs. We're playing. Vonaroo uh soon and uh we've got two big. festivals over in Europe that we're. going to be doing. Um we've got the. record that's going to be coming out. this year because we've been in the. studio recording. I'm actually supposed. to be there right now and um there uh. there's um somebody we've been talking. to about documenting um the whole thing. The So we've recorded the making of the. record. We've done this several times.

with several records we've made, but it. never really gets out the door because. as soon as we're done making the record, it's too much stuff to do. And and of. course, it's there. You know, we have. the making of Dystopia. We have the. making of The Sick, the Dying, and the. Dead. We have the making of this record. already. And at some point, I'm sure. they'll be worthy to put out. But, you. know, we're just we're staying busy, busy, busy. Um, I know that Pam and Electra are. doing really great with the wine. They.

just uh released a new wine. I think. it's called a. Veracio. Which one that is? Yeah. But, uh, all the all the wines we have have. song titles to kind of give them a. little bit of some connection to me for. the House of Main stuff. Um, let's see. what else is there. Uh we we uh we've. been working on our our vineyard over in. Italy. We've got a piece of property. over there we've been planting and uh.

building a house over there. And that's. been really exciting because we figured. out with the wines from California, a. lot of them have sulfites in it and that. gives you a headache. The wines from. Italy do not and they don't give you a. headache. So that's been really neat and. we've been really successful with that. Um, the kids have been moving around a. lot. Justice just got a new house, so we. helped him move and and um just getting. ready for a tour. You got What kind of cancer was it?

Throat cancer. Throat cancer. What stage? Oh, I don't know what stage. it was. We just I We discovered it and. we went to work on it right away. Um, I know how big it was. I I know it. was a couple millimeters. It was a. non-basil squeamish, Squamish, whatever. I think, you know, I I tried to not um. dig into it too much because I didn't. want to give it power over me. Mhm. So,

that's why I don't really know the. amount of uh chemo or radiation numbers. I have because I frankly don't want. those numbers to be the definition of. me. It doesn't define me. How did your family react when you told. them? Uh, I think Pam was scared. Uh, I. know the kids were. scared. I think Justice knew that I was. a fighter and that I was going to fight. this. I'm not sure that Electra knew.

that. And uh, Pam knows that God's in. control, so that whatever happens is his. way anyway, right? So, and you recorded. an album while going through that? Yeah. our best one yet. Holy [ __ ] It was. hard. It was hard. And I I fell asleep a. few days in in recording. And you know, for people that don't understand that, they think you're just getting drugged. out and you're enjoying it. I wasn't. enjoying it. It was getting drugged out.

Yeah. But that was because they were. trying to kill me. To kill the cancer in. my body. Damn. It's hard to sing. It was hard to. sing. My voice changed. I could imagine. Plus, I had my neck broken by a. chiropractor back in 2012, and I had to. have my neck fused together, so I've got. a plate in my neck, and that's changed. my voice, too. Holy [ __ ] man. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a lot of stuff. So, um I. I you know, looking out the window,

appreciating the ride for me right now. Yeah, I do that. I do that because. there's a lot of stuff that tried to. take me out. Well, Dave, what an interview, man. Thanks, Sean. Thank you for coming. Been a. pleasure. It was an honor to have you. It's good to meet you, too, sir. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. [Music].

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