Christian Craighead - SAS Operator | SRS #92

four years ago today January 15th there. was a massacre at a luxury hotel in the. capital of Kenya in Nairobi al-shabab. took responsibility for the attack later. on killed. 19 innocent civilians the fight went on. for 19 hours into the 16th of January. there was a rogue SAS. operator who went in to save countless. civilian.

and he is on the podcast today this is. one that has been a long time coming and. he's here ladies and gentlemen if you. get anything out of these shows please. head over to Apple and Spotify leave us. a review like comment and subscribe to. the YouTube channel if you're watching. over there and don't forget there are. tons literally hundreds and hundreds of. reels that you can download for free. make it into what you want put them all.

over your social media make money. monetize it we don't care all we ask is. that you tag the Shawn Ryan Show so. everybody knows where it cames from and. in the. meantime please welcome some call this. man Obi-Wan Nairobi I call him Christian. craigit please welcome him to the Shawn. Ryan Show God bless love you all see you. soon.

Christian craige head welcome to the. show thanks a lot it's good to uh good. to finally be here it's good for you to. finally be here I've been waiting for. this for years years then you came to. Nashville we hung out a little bit set a. date that got cancelled you're finally. in house and I am stoked for this. interview man so thank you for coming I. think it's just we'll just put this in. now uh the the funny story is when we we. came to I came to Nashville for the seci.

met up with you for coffee and then Sean. Ryan and Chris crae head were just two. dudes walking around the street for. about two hours just and and some of my. friends was like that's like a really. odd thought and I never thought much. about it at the time but it it kind of. so that that happened yeah yeah I think. we got uh I think we got made a couple. of times out there well you did I didn't. well I took the photographs though that. was a good thing right on well hey let. me give you a quick introduction here so.

Christian Craig had UK Army Special. Forces 28-year military career most of. which correct me if I'm wrong is in the. British SAS retired warrant officer. second class Special Air Service. parachute re regimen in the British army. eventually SAS awarded conspicuous. gallantry cross for actions in Nairobi. Kenya you're a member of the order of. the British Empire the MBE you're the. author of the wrong Wolf the the author.

of what's the book that's in one man in. one man in which is tied up in court. right now known as Obi-Wan Nairobi and. you. are a Armani jeans. model so which we'll get into later you. were wearing Armani jeans that day and. uh and a whole bunch of other stuff that. got real popular after that incident but. um you know we got a lot of stuff to.

cover Christian I want to cover your. childhood we get into a little bit of. the incident you know what happened that. day if we can and then um we got a whole. slew of stuff after that incident which. we doing today but um everybody starts. out with a gift on the. show any. guesses maybe G me. B it's definitely a possibility all. right thank you love me.

yeah the the famous gummy bears famous. gummy. bears those are legal yeah even in the. UK well as you say everyone starts off. with a with a gift and I've got one for. you oh man so um um. like I know we're going to get onto the. the subject of Faith later on but um you. know God forbid that you ever have to. put your body armor on again to uh. defend yourself and your family or or or.

or your ideals but if should you ever do. that I'd like to give you this armor. upgrade oh. man thank you thank you it's a. bival thank you man that's um that's a. Bible with um the I design designed the. image on the front which is you designed. this well I had the idea in and then uh. someone else actually put it together a. good friend of mine call and um it's to. send me in in the in the thank you man.

that is. awesome I love this I'll probably frame. it and put it in the studio okay but um. and then it could be like bre break. glass in case case of exactly break. glass in case of War well since we're on. the faith subject I actually got you a. little something too so here you. go thank you so much you're welcome so. do you know who Dom rozzo is so that we. had spoken about the Jim cisel episode.

last night which is no more but I gave. Jim the exact same rosary and we had a. lot of conversations before the. interview and I just had a feeling that. man was going to need a lot of. protection and so Dom Dom's a former MH. SEAL Team Six guy um gave me that Rosary. I gave it to Jim cavel then he sent me. another one and I I carry that. everywhere to protect myself s and uh I.

know we're going to get into some. fascinating stories about some. encounters that you've had especially. before some very important missions and. uh I just wanted to give that to you. means a lot to me and uh Dom is a is. just a he's just an awesome human being. and and uh I thought you should have it. because you're coming out and you have a. lot of cards stacked against you back in. the UK right now and maybe that'll give.

you some protection thank you you're. welcome you're welcome but um and thank. you for this God bless brother but. childhood you ready to dig in yeah are. you nervous um a a little bit but we'll. see what are you nervous about um like. not being not being exciting enough not. being it's a and and you know I'm I'm. trying to uh I'll tell my story and uh. and I think I think just to start with.

it's is it interesting maybe is it. cliched sometimes but you could call. childhood and this is applicable for. everyone is this is when your training. starts because whatever you do whether. it be an International Event whether it. be you're a sportsman a soldier a. manager or you you're in training the. the moment you are born that's when your. training starts and you're being. prepared for something mhm and some some. things are bigger than others yeah but.

you're always in training so you could. start you could say it's my childhood. it's one way of framing it the other way. of saying it is it's the start of my. training I will say. this when it comes to the nervousness. everybody that comes here is nervous. everybody thinks oh it's not going to be. exciting don't worry about that man it's. it's going to be gold I promise and um. and uh I know you're kind of hanged up.

or tied up with some of the with some of. your career and uh I would like to offer. you when you're not tied up anymore um a. slot here or two to give a full scope. and depth on everything yeah so and and. I think a lot um some people may be. aware of this I don't really talk about. my career in the um Special Air Service. and um and that's just my policy right. right now there's some things could talk. about but I just choose not to uh and.

like like other. things policies change people change. yeah and viewpoints change so in the. future I'm. I'm I may talk about some stuff good. that I don't talk about right now it's. all good all in due time and there's. plenty other to talk about so let's. start with childhood mhm where'd you. grow up so I H grew up in Northeast. England so um.

um about five hours drive north of. London and uh it was yeah I didn't. really like my childhood why not. um the I was B the town where I grew up. is a beautiful town I grew up in a in a. council a council house and Council. house is like state-owned property so. it's like a poorer area of town. um and I grew up to I had a single. single mother I never met my father uh.

until later on in life um um so I grew. up with um for the first seven years my. mother my aunt and my grandma my. grandmother is the the person I am today. she takes full responsibility of of the. man I became is all because of her wow. and she and she uh she she she raised me. and I didn't and I had it's strange when. I was talking to someone else about.

childhood what you think is normal isn't. sometimes a lot of time isn't normal mhm. what there's probably a lot of people. out there who maybe get abused and don't. really know they're getting abused. there's so it's it's only maybe when you. wake you may wake up to it later on in. life um and and then you see and you. think yeah that wasn't cool but did you. have any brothers and sisters no I I so. I grew up as an only child.

um but my natural father is probably one. of the most fertile men of the 1970s so. if you're from Northeast England and you. don't know who your dad is we probably. related but wow but um I've got lots of. like half brothers and. sisters what is it about your childhood. that you didn't like it I think it. was you brought up abuse um yeah I. think it it was this and it wasn't.

there's what I for see is plenty of love. in my life it was it was it wasn't abuse. from family or anything like that but it. was just um being exposed to violence at. a really young age and and that set of. sort of values in me which kind of. violence. so there's some things I don't want to. share in the light of day and so the uh. I think that the the worst one the worst. experience I had was when I was 8 years.

old and I just started at a new school. and there was it's about a mile and a. half walk back near Woodland and we'll. talk about the Woodland later which is. I'm more happier not and I was walking. home and. um nice warm September day and um 8. years old and was walking and these two. guys were there two two older boys who. had just been released from Young. offenders from juvie and um. the the the one was if off roughly about.

six years older than me and then the. other one was about the same age as him. so they would have been um like 14 15. years old and I I'm I was always quite. small and thin and they were like hey. what are you doing and I'm like nothing. and then one of them just hit me around. the head with a with a branch hit me the. ground and then they went on to sort of. torture me for about 2 hours torture. yeah so kind of like just beating me up.

like like one of them would be sitting. on my chest and like one of them like. took some dog [ __ ] and smear on my face. and like like lit like cigarettes on me. and stuff and yeah and give me a kicking. and then and then I think the worst. thing what what the um did is like I had. a pack lunch box and I didn't see to do. it but the F put loads of dog [ __ ]. inside my pack lunch box and then sealed. it back up so I didn't see that till. later on when I was at home and that was. a thing that was I thought was quite. that got to me um and then uh and I and.

I ran home eventually and my stepdad. time went out and sort of had a talk and. look for them and my mother did as well. I was obviously distressing they were. distressing and and I think that was my. first even though I'd. been um beat up and set on fire and. stuff like that before hold on set on. fire well not set on fire so is that a. figure of speech no I not literally set. on fire but it's how I escaped um is um. I'll tell about that bit in a in a in a.

moment but that to me was like pure evil. that I witnessed I thought and then but. here's the interesting thing even at a. young age I was. thankful you know what I was thankful. for I was thankful that was. me cuz I can I can take that that was me. and I and I'm certain and I'm that's one. of the biggest reasons I'm God for if it. wasn't if it wasn't me that day they had. they had the taste of blood in their. mouth it would been someone else and if.

I'd been an 8-year-old girl they would. have they would have raped me I know. that I could say that and uh so that was. the part for me was like I'm glad it was. me cuz I can I can I can deal with that. and um um. yeah where did you know these guys I. knew of one of them and then I I. actually met one of them later on in. life and I turned the tables a little. bit and some people say it's not good. what I did but I give him a a kick in.

and he begged for his life he didn't. know who I was how how how long ago or. what what's the time frame here that. would have been probably. about 13 14 years later no [ __ ] and I I. I recognize that pure scumbag riding a. BMX with TR 21 years old tracksuit. bottoms tucked into his into his uh. socks like at night walk running my eyes. just straight away locked on like a. missile I know know who that is first.

time I've seen him since I know who that. is and uh yeah and I as he drove past as. he Rod past I grabbed him by the neck. and then and then um issued out some. tough justice so good for you and then. uh how did that feel did it feel good. afterwards or did you regret it I didn't. regret it no I mean it's maybe not a. good message to put out to people but uh. sometimes you got to sometimes you got. to do it sometimes you got to put on. that armor did they know who you were no.

did you let them know who you were no. what did you say nothing nothing yeah. what did they say like the normal stuff. what someone's begging for the life says. so what is the normal stuff please stop. whatever done stop and and just so. everyone's all there was no mistaken. identity it was him um but right on. let's move on yeah uh but the fire. thing a few years before that when I was. about four or five um I used to try and.

hang around with the older kids in the. in my estate and sometimes i''d be like. a a pain in the pain in the neck to them. so they again I don't think it's evil. it's just you know sometimes sometimes. kids can be brutal so these were much. older than me they had like good these. were been teenagers as well when I was. about four or five years old and there's. two incidents um uh one was when I was. walked into the woods and the woods was.

I lived next to a set of woods and it. was just a small like a small burn but. it was known as my Woods cuz I knew it. from an early age I used to go there by. myself and up until just before the Army. had KN like the back of my hands and and. and uh and yeah I L I still walk through. it now when I go to my hometown and you. know think of these things and and and. and the guys were playing with an air. rifle and I said oh what are you doing. and one of them turned and with a big. smoke and shot me in the leg with the. and I was about four years old in the th.

in the thigh and I was screaming howling. thinking why did you do that the other. one who see always seemed to be nicer. than the others took the took the air. rifle off me and I thought oh good he's. going to step in and then he shot me and. he took it and then laughed and shot me. in the other. leg I think then they realized what. they'd done and then they tried to. smooth it over and and I've still got. two scars on my leg when I get a when my. legs get sun Ted which isn't often you. you can see the two white marks here and.

here good on my on my on my legs so. there things like that um but then the. um so another story in this came out. when I was in uh on. operations the whole lord of the guys. were talking about things that make them. scared and they said I'd hate to be put. in a in like a bag and I said I've been. tied in a bag before and they went what. and I said yeah when I was younger they. they were playing Batman and Robin I. turned up and say what they doing. they're playing Batman and Robin and. you're going to be one of the bad guys.

so they had a potato sack and he stuffed. me in this potato sack and tied a knot. in the top and then they started kicking. the potato sack around and beating me. and um and the guys are looking at me. going what and and the one well how did. he get out I said oh when they set it on. fire I managed to escape so that was my. fire story holy [ __ ] um so you were. bullied quite a bit as a kid um yeah I. don't yeah and this is the thing isn't. like hly I was just about to say there.

was I bullied cuz in my in like you know. when you normalize chaos you normalize. violence and um so that's they're the. they're the most they're not the most. graphic things that ever happened to me. but but as I said to someone very close. to me I said that's that's those the. other things that are the worst they. stay in here and don't I don't think. they deserve to see the light of day but. um um. why are.

you you're pretty closed. up you keep a lot of stuff internalized. it sounds like what why do you do that I. think it's because I've been betrayed. all my life and and who is the most. important person that's betrayed you. well I mean we know your government is. pretty much that was the answer I was. going to say but um I think it's just. people if your parents when women wives.

I mean a bit of bit of women parents. it's I mean it's all the it's I mean. everyone's got their own heartache if. you like and then sometimes one of the. things about the show Christian. is sharing experiences because people. learn from that yeah and and and and it. helps them get through the trauma and so. for somebody like you to be sitting here. who's experienced that kind of stuff and. overcome it when you share those. experiences that sends a way into the. world and people learn from men like you.

who've overcome that because they look. up to you you know and so when you share. that and you talk about how you overcame. it you know it. it it's it's like a wave of good that. gets tossed into the world and people. ride that and I think so from with from. a betrayal point of view I mean every. everyone's no one's totally innocent. like I can say like oh a girl may have.

dumped me or broke my heart but you know. I probably had some something to do with. it like I'm not perfect and then um but. it's that's the thing is is. being alone it's that feeling of alone. so like when you're. just um an only child but then there's. that thing when you find yourself on. your own it's it you I think from an. early age it was a defense Mech. mechanism from me to then go okay I can. do this I'm strong I I and I'll move on.

and do things and then every now and. again I sometimes let someone in and. then when I let them in sometimes I. might not say what they like or I might. show them too much and it's this thing. about being Christian craige head versus. my real self and um and and and then and. then they might not like what they see. and then move on and then I think I. should never I should never I should. have just lived like a lie I should have. pretended to be someone who I'm not and. that way everyone's happy. and every now and again if you show them.

the real me they might go yeah I didn't. like that I liked i likeed the normal. person. because like in 2019 when. I launched a oneman hostage Rescue. Mission if you like mhm um again I I. don't want to go I'm not going to go. into the details of the of the thing. life had prepared me for that moment mhm. and it and it's a thought I have and. it's sometimes eating me up a lot is for.

life to prepare me for that one for that. day I had to be. different and mey um mey who was in mey. chapen the author of terrist attack girl. he was in in the DEA D2 Hotel so her. husband said to him and said to her. sorry. um like Chris wasn't the right. man at the right place that day he was. the man who had to be there that day.

because everything in life had prepared. me for that moment the mindset the skill. set everything was it was odd everything. lined up for that but then this the. thought. of in order to be that person for that. day maybe I'm like a tool like a. specialist tool that it's really good. for this job and you might use it once. and then after that it's.

useless so I have and and and I have. sometimes I think can I fit in with. normal society and I'm not a crackpot as. you know you've met me personally I've. met your family and it's but I just. think am I am I suitable for normal life. do you it sounds like you put a lot. of maybe validity I don't know if that's. the correct word but you you really put.

you you put a lot of importance on what. other people. think um sometimes yeah I mean why do. you do that I don't know it's you it's a. yeah it's you who gives a [ __ ] if they. don't like it yeah honestly but it's. this thing of trying to it's trying. trying to live my life and fit in and. then sometimes I'm like yeah who do you. want to fit in with well I don't know I. just like get on in life and it's like. what I'm chasing it it's this thing like. everything costs something and I didn't. wake up and become and became Chris crae.

head I it was a long hard slug to. January 2019 and it cost me everything. it cost me family it cost me. relationships it cost me my soul in some. cases and um so it's just it's coming to. it's coming and and that's one of the. things that we maybe getting ahead of. ourselves but um about you know trying. to find purpose in life and and right. now i' got some things coming in but I. still in my mind thing I don't know I. don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.

so part of me sometimes think am my. rounds. complete have I have I done what I'm. supposed to be put on this head for and. now I'm just waiting to die would you. mind if I make a. suggestion no do you think you're going. to find what your purpose is by trying. to cater to the crowd and fit in I mean. yeah and that's what I realized is. that's what I'm was getting at is. sometimes I'll open up and do it and. then go no what am I doing and then. withdraw back in withdrawing and then so. it's it's just trying to feel like we do.

trying to work see what works what. doesn't work but then but going back to. Childhood um yeah and but so they set. the sack on fire and I escaped one of. the a good friend of mine said that's. why Chris is how he is so how am I well. those people might be horrified or. people might say yeah no big deal what. happened there as a kid but that did. something to me those those types of. incidents did something to.

me and what they did was from a very. early age of about well starting from. about 4 years old and chipping away all. the way up until teenager is they made. me not tolerate. bullies to stand up for people who can't. stand up for. themselves and do the right thing when. you can and that's why I think it's part. of the training although it's horic. and I'd hate to happen it to if.

I that happened to someone I love and i'. I'd go and hunt them people down but it. but it but it was required I. think and then and that put me into this. childhood Flex. of like acting like for me I was quite. thin small so if I saw anyone as a. threat or if I saw i' I'd resort to. violence straight away I'd be like yeah. someone like did something I knew I knew.

it was potential because I was small. that so I just PCH punch him in the face. was it temper or was it calculated it. was um combination I think more. calculated than it was temper and um and. this the thing cuz I know that if I if. bullies won't be bullies so if some I I. would read the room and if I knew that I. knew that they like look at me he's the. smallest I'm going to do something to. him so I just be like yeah no you're not. and it and and I and and and obviously. life in the 1980s was different people.

had fist fights at school all the time. they were kind it's not like now would. be a huge thing I'm not condoning it now. I'm not saying to any young people. watching this go out and fight violence. with violence because it's a different. it's it's a different time now the. underlying message that you're sending. is is timeless it's don't get pushed. around yeah stand up for yourself stand. up for others yeah and that's what those. those acts of violence and abuse through.

my throughout my life and there there's. lots um that's what they these ended up. setting me and. luckily um I didn't fall into the wrong. on the wrong side of the law with that. violence and things come I started. calming down and one of the things I. always say saved my life if you're like. was the Army Cadet so the Army Cadet in. UK is like a Youth Organization where at. the age of 13 you join and you get a su. a uniform and you do two parade nights a. week and you do get inspected and you do.

lessons on fieldcraft. Marksmanship that kind of thing it's a. Youth. Organization and uh and I all I wanted. to do was join the Army or be a be a. Warrior from from as long as I can. remember I wanted to be a soldier and so. I I join I lied about my age and joined. when I was. 12 and then um and then just started. doing that and and and that saved my. life because at the same time and I. think there's. it's hard to disagree with this 12 13 13.

years old is a time when you at a. junction in your life like you see when. a lot of people go you know good. kids fall PR of crime and drugs. and things like that it's usually around. about the TW the start point is usually. about 13 years old that's the time when. you there might. be missing classes at school and going. around the smoking at the back of the. school and. doing whatever the whatever happens now.

it's usually about that age when you. start falling off falling off falling. going off off the on the wrong. track and and that certainly happened in. my set of friends then I was the only. one who joined the army Cadets and those. friends people who was friend was I. believe all of them have been inside. prison now some of them may have died of. overdoses I'm sure two of them have died. of overdoses since then and because it's. again that's going to sound like a. a grownup but just the act of smoking a.

cigarette can lead. to her own addiction it's the it's the. Gateway into this bad thing I'm not. saying everyone did it but I as everyone. fell completely off the tracks but. that's at that point so it's a bit of. waffle there to say that a 13 years old. joined the army Colette and that saved. my life gave me purpose two nights of. the. week there doing the lessons and every. now and again you go away for a weekend. and in the summer you do like an annual. camp of two two weeks away and uh that.

really set me up. for uh it set me up for joining the Army. but also but I was going to join the. Army anyway but it was just like I say I. think it saved my life gave me purpose. and uh and and especially at um at at 13. years old my grandmother uh my grandma. she died and that's when I felt truly. alone so yes my mother may say she Lov. my ex- stepdad and other people but I. was really it was only my grandmother. who really knew me who was really who.

who really believed in me and really saw. me who for who I was she knew I wasn't. good she knew I was. different and she and she like without. my grandmother I don't know what would. happen to me but she she put in these. core values and so a combination of. obviously the bad stuff but. she she made me respectful to people to. like at school at school it might have. be like again people might say well he's. a bit of a thug he's like beating people.

up or whatever like I say it's a. different time but I was always super. super respectful to school teachers was. always really polite to the school. teachers and things like that and then. and that was just because my grandma my. grandma would say like there'd be a. woman walking down the street like an. older woman and she go go across and. help help her with the bags give your. seat up to people on the on the on the. bus or when we're traveling give your. seat up to that lady okay why do you. think your grandma was able to see that. you're were different I I don't know I.

think it was just that connection you. were closer to her than your mother oh. yeah I was closer to her than than to. anyone why is that what did your mother. do for a living she worked night shift. in um different like in a care industry. but yeah stepdad factory worker factory. worker do you think maybe they were just. busy with their occupations no they're. just again I don't want to throw dirt. around too. MH um because people would be going oh I.

wasn't that bad or was whatever the. bottom line is doesn't matter what. people think I'm thankful I'm thankful. for those two people especially not. because. of because what they did was it's the. it's like they're saying there is no. enemies or friends just teachers and. they when I was look even from as. youngest eight nine years old I was. looking at those two and say I'm never. got to be like used to. so was your grandma always around did. you live with her um so because my.

mother worked night shift three nights a. week so every three nights of the week. um with my grandma but every single day. I went around to a house and so every. single day with the exception of one day. so in in. 19 um 89 I went away on like. a with the school had like a weekend. away um or was a week away and um like. doing climbing and outdoor outdoor. activities and things. and. um I had a camouflage jacket and had and.

my grandmother's doing the she so the I. cut the tops off two pairs of socks and. and my grandma swld them onto the Cuffs. so it looked like I mean it's a thing. that people used to do but I lost my. Tempo when she was doing that the night. on the Sunday night and then screaming a. shower and she was screaming shower and. me but we it all it all it all came back. together at the end and I said sorry and. and uh and she'd always say oh you test. the patience of a none and um and then. uh that and then the next day I went and.

I went away that. weekend and usually I came back I got. back on the um it was the I think it was. the the Sunday or was the Sunday. and for the first time ever I didn't go. to a house on the way home from school. um cuz kind of on the way and I just cuz. I was I think it was CU I was carrying. gear and stuff so I went straight home. but as soon as I got home I I uh picked. up the telephone on the and give her a. call and said hey Grandma yeah it was a.

good week and she we're talking and um. and I said I'm not coming around tonight. and then she was going to go babysit for. my um other some other members of family. I said I'll see you tomorrow and she. goes yeah I see you tomorrow and she. goes I love you and I love you too like. I did every day always always called her. remember this is before mobile phones. and then um and then she went to um my. auntie's house and then then then my dad. got my stepdad got a call. he looked and didn't say anything then. he said L you know your grandma's had a.

heart attack say in hospital so um yeah. so I just ran out the door and um ran. into my hometown don't know what I was. doing I don't know where I was running I. was just running it's like a you know. like a irrational mhm thing that you do. is go out running like I was ran and it. was like dark it was February evening. and uh she's obviously now he I can't he. can't do anything he can't find me so. I'm just there I and then go to uh.

there's a church in town and I didn't go. to the church but it's very old um and. there's like a a Gateway sort of thing. into the church and it's got a cross on. the top and I just L I was just sat on a. on a bench opposite and I was looking at. the cross and I was like pleading with. God please don't take her away from me. and I was. like like cuz I got this is not supposed. to happen she's my only. supporter she's my she's my link and um. and more importantly she's the only.

person who believes in me and uh so I'm. looking pleading with God and then uh so. then I I run home then like something. makes me run home and he goes right. we're getting in a t cab we're going to. the hospital which was about 8 miles. away so we're going home and uh get to. the hospital and then uh I never saw. again cuz as I walked in she died. so the the takeaway point from that is I. mean it's it's always um sods law you. know the one time I didn't go to see it.

is it and and I always say I've said it. to so many people all the way through my. life is if you love someone or care for. someone. dearly if you have an argument whether. it be your mother brother wife. girlfriend friend if you ever have an. argument don't leave on bad bad terms. always resolve it because you never want. because there always a possibility. that's the last time you'll ever see. them that's a great point you know me. and my wife have a rule we never go to.

bed angry yeah we always work it out. before we go to. bed for that. reason yeah so she yeah my grandma she. um like she made me the man I am and. then uh and I still think about her. every. day that's amazing I'm sorry to hear. that um she's not with us. anymore Christian I want to dive into. your. purpose so we keep we keep forgive me. but I'm going to put you on the spot we.

keep going back to what other people are. going to think and so my question for. you is do you think you're going to find. your purpose by catering to what you. think people that you don't even know. want from you yeah I mean that's the the. Trap I'm falling into so I don't but. it's I mean to to to and this you're a. man with a I mean the amount of Courage. that you can muster up in situations. is.

like nothing people have ever seen I. mean you entered a hotel where people. were being slaughtered by. al-shabab against your country's orders. you did. that nobody does that and now let's fast. forward that happened in 2019 let's fast. forward to four. years we're worried about what other. people think does that add up to you hey. it's probably what what I think it is. doing a self- diagnosis is it's a side.

effect of being alone. of like the like is it called. abandonment syndrome you know my you. know my my you know my grandma died but. she in essence she left me and. um so it's it's it's like this thing but. I don't want to be alone like I'm trying. to but like I say it's test and. adjusting no it's not going to it's not. going to give me my purpose but I kind. of some and sometimes I don't want to be. alone and then I realiz I am alone and. we're all alone but that that's the.

problem it's part adjustment of coming. out of the military after 28 years so. and part of this like just trying to. trying to work it out I mean that's part. of being alone though I mean that's part. of I mean you're a leader you're a. leader of men and. leaders are lonely. MH yeah they are but uh because you have. to make the tough calls you have to lead.

so yeah and so it's all just been about. like finding my feet really and and I'm. still looking I'm still looking to try. and find this purpose and and see see. what it is what you know there's things. I want to do and there's things I'm. doing but there's still nothing that is. like filling my soul like as a young. person I wanted to be a soldier and then. when I was in the Army I wanted to get. into the unit and when I was in the unit. I wanted to do x y and. Zed and then there's this big voice now. of like what do I want to do and I'm. still and and again it's not a negative.

it's it's like a I'm sure it's going to. come to. me I think it's going to come it's. probably come to me when I'm not even. looking for it that's how it always. works well I think it's going to come. from the heart and that. and when you push everybody else's. opinions and all their all their. [ __ ] that they think that you should. be doing to the side I think. that's that's the opportunity where it's. going to come to. you would you agree with that yeah.

possibly yeah I mean it's definitely a. thing what's the argument well yeah. let's what is it what's the argument. again I'm just trying to do what's what. the right thing is um and then see what. the rather than based on the opinion of. me again is trying to I'm not trying to. cater to everyone it's I mean maybe I'm. that's a bit out of cont like being. taken out of context a bit but I'm not. but I'm just trying to. find find my way but the problem is is.

I'm not there there is no it's just the. fact I don't know what I'm going to do. and I I don't I don't know what I I. don't know what my purpose is. yet I'm still trying to pin it down and. I'm I think you know your purpose you've. got great messaging I mean last night at. dinner with me and my wife you you. rattled off a few purposes I mean one of. them is that book right there you know. the the the wrong wolf standing up for. what you believe in standing up for.

people that can't stand up for. themselves I mean. that's it seems to be the. lifelong it it's following you. everywhere you. go so watch this space and see how it. develops right. on well let's move on what so what what. kind of stuff were you into as a kid. what what did you enjoy doing I enjoyed. like anything to do uh like laed up. anything about the military guns. aircraft especially like I had this.

thing about military aircraft I could. identify all sorts of St and nuclear. weapons like read up on nuclear I was. fascinated with nuclear technology and. weapons and um what did that inspiration. come from I have no idea movies yeah. there was some like the the one there's. two movies sorry well there's a whole. group of movies that inspired me but one. of the key ones the W geese I remember. watching the w Gees have you seen it I. haven't you need to watch it and I said.

this I've said it in a previous. interview if you haven't watched the. wild. geese it's it's an it's an it hasn't. aged very well but it's got like um. Richard Burton Roger Moore um Richard. Harris they're the they're the the main. stars in it it's it was I think it's. 1977 um but it's it's about mercenaries. who free fall into Africa to rescue you. were a tribal leader really and yeah so.

it's um and um I saw that and went I. that that it filled my heart that and. it's um um so that was the main that if. he said what what movie of all movies. inspired you to be in the military would. be the W Gees is that that is it um and. for anyone out there who's into movies. or making movies I should. say just hear me out here that is dying. to be made into a mod modern movie dying.

cuz it takes a lot of boxes as well even. in in this age it's a it if you made. that into a TV show or movie just say. I'm just giving you that gift yeah go go. and look the and say let's make it. modern a modern version of this is good. and then who Des wins have you seen that. movie I haven't what who D wi who Des. wins like the the motto of the SAS it's. about a SCS guy who goes undercover and. a in an anti-nuclear movement and the.

and then these terrorists he he's um. undercover. with. um um take over the US Embassy in London. and then at the end of it there's a SCS. hostage Rescue Mission and it's Lewis. Collins it's it's just that movie has. inspired so many young men to join the. SAS my of my my my age group interesting. yeah it's a it's a great movie it a. great movie what about. 2 yeah I was in the Army when that came.

out so I was already committed you're. already in there yeah and then uh yeah. and but then there's all the other. movies again it this strange thing of. because we're going to talk about this. later on is what is the like. Commando I if someone said what movie. have you seen more than any other movie. it would be commando but in first blue. part two again I've talked about before. is how much of an influence First Blood. Part Two. was but what.

Commando. Rambo Demolition Man all the class. passenger 57 like all. these Die. Hard what's what's the. formula bad guys do some. [ __ ] lawn man turns up sorts them out. sometimes reluctantly sometimes against. orders. it's strange isn't it how and I think. that's why there's a lot of popular why.

my incident is so popular yeah because. it's playing into this like this is what. we grew up. on and and and and so maybe it's a thank. you to Sylvester Stone. to Arnold schwarzeneger to all these. people who helped me help with my. training um because maybe it is a thing. yeah well let's take a quick break and. then when we come back we'll get in to. what got you in the military how old you. were where you.

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investment. decision all right Christian we're back. from the break we're getting ready to. dive into some of your military career. but. first what was the inspiration to join. so young you had a if I correct me if. I'm wrong 28y year military career you. joined when you were 16 years. old why did you join so young what was. Happ happening in the world it it was it.

wasn't so much what was going on in the. world it was going on in my world I just. had to get into the. army as I mentioned early I didn't. really enjoy childhood mhm all I was. doing was waiting to grow up and the. earli the earliest I could get into the. army that's when that's when I was going. to jump at it join the Army when a. 16 so that's yeah did you have any idea. what you wanted to do in the Army. absolutely and you straight away I don't. I knew I wanted to join the parachute. regiment which if you wanted to.

do um comparisons it's the ranger. battalion okay and uh I was I want to. join the parachute regiment and that was. it there was no not I was set lots of. people including all of my family didn't. think I was going to be able to do. it they didn't want you to do it no they. didn't think I'd be able to do it. because it it's it's hard to become a. Power trp it's hard training and I was a. skinny skinny little guy who looked.

young and people were like there's no. way he's going to get into the poers we. have a there's a test called P company. it's kind of like hell week and uh there. was uh a few months before actually. enlisted there was a documentary on the. UK TV and everyone was saying that's. what Chris is going to do and people. going he'll never be able to do that and. um so so people and and and some members. of um my family my my aunt was was. worried about it because she knew I was.

fanatical about joining the military and. being a warrior but she was like. thinking what's he going to do when he. fails. because like and that and that was what. people thought and and it it goes back. to my grandmother she knew she knew like. my potential but everyone else take. takes everything it face value so like. people think Navy Seals are like 6'5 and. yeah you know you know the whole deal. and like what it's like it's the same.

thing people thought paratroopers were. all like big tall mean mean men and like. big and gnarly not young looking little. skinny skinny guys mhm so um but I knew. and I I went to the Army Career uh. recruitment office and uh then they um. they said come back and do the the. entrance test um you don't need to be. very bright to be a power Trooper on on. paper. um but I I took the test and and I. completely knocked out of the park and.

they were like wow you did really well. on this which is is one of those things. where you when you're older you look. back and go interesting how I didn't do. well at school I didn't apply myself. very well at school but when you do. these um come there a name similar to. the US military you do like a the. test you you score off the charts on it. and you're like and I did really well. and they said you can do anything you. want you can and they were saying if I. was you I would do an apprenticeship in. the RO signals you'll get promoted.

really fast you'll get a really much. more money like people want to do this. apprenticeships and I was like nope. parachute regiment nope and they were. like no you know it's been 10 years. since the Faulkland War everyone wants. to join the join the the parachute. regiment I'm like yeah don't care and. then they they said well because it's. going to there so many people want to. join the um it's going to be about a. year before you start your training and. I was like fine I'll wait went home two.

weeks later get a phone call yeah you. start training in. September and there's this call in the. bluff and and and the message here is. for any for. anyone you know if you've got if you got. something in your mind that you want to. do most of the time people trying to. talk you out of it haven't got your best. interests in mind so just stick to your. guns be stubborn nope nope and sometimes. you might be persuaded because it might. be the better thing to do something else. but if you've got a plan I would.

understand I'm so cuz I've I've seen a. lot of people in the British Army and. I'm sure the same in the US military. where they've went to recruit office Say. Hey I want to be. a I want to be a ranger and they'll say. what you you can do is if you join the. engineers you can still do Ranger school. and technically you're a ranger and. they're like oh okay and then and then. they join and and they be and they're. like I didn't sign up for this I didn't. want to and they do minimum time get out. was just same in the British army they'd. say do this and a lots of people I knew.

wanted to join the par parachute regimen. and they say no be an engineer do do be. a driver be a medic you can still be a. paratrooper and they're just being sold. a sold a lie interesting because because. I'm sure to say in the US military these. recruiters have got a quarter to meet. say hey we we desperately need more. Medics drivers. Engineers infantry and that's what. they're going to try and meet that. quarter I believe that's what happened. but but I was a stubborn so and then in.

September 1992 I entered service into. the British. army what how old do you have to be. though is it 16 or did you slide in. there somehow no 16 16 but you can't uh. after in the fans War some paratroopers. who were killed on Mount Longden in the. the the battle there were 17 years old. and I think so at some point after that. then they said you can't go on combat. operations until you're 18 years old. okay it's 18 you join the Army but you.

can you can't serve on combat operations. until you're 18 so still today you can. join at age 16 does that mean you're. leaving the home and yeah I mean on my. last day in the and the in the British. army I went to the Army Foundation. College in Harriet which is where all. the junior soldiers are now and I gave. them a presentation about what I did in. Kenya um to 640 um. um recruits students whatever you're. going to call them um and and things.

have changed now there I was talking. with the command Ser major the RSM as we. call them and they do a lot of like. that's what it is it's Army Foundation. it's building the foundation for young. people to have a not just a career in. the military but give them a Right Step. Up in life so they focus on education. still it's still military training but. it's preparing them for life life for. service and it it's it's it's. good when I joined in. 1992 the Army had you had your app.

apprenticeships if you had a trade job. you had the junior leaders so if you. join like say the guards like the say. the houseold Cavalry like the guards or. infantry regim they have Junior leaders. so it would be a year training and you. people would get command appointments so. you'd be like a junior Lance Coral or. Junior sergeant major if you were good. in things and it was again a similar. sort of thing Only Exception was the. parachute regiment we had Junior parah.

that's what it's called and that. was yeah. it's the amount of I I was the last ever. Junior par patoon and then it it the sh. the junior Army for I I might be wrong. here but it was for a year or two amount. of time then they re restart it and I. think everyone does the same training. now but I was the this was the last. baton of Junior parah but the amount of. people who went in to the SAS or became. command sergeant majors from Junior.

parah was it so it was a it was a system. that worked they were Preparing People. and we're going to go like uh maybe a. bit philosophical here but it was brutal. MH but you know what that's what I. wanted because I'd read about it and the. harder the better the more the more the. more the thrashing we got the harder the. physicality that to me was what was. about cuz I was join I I in my mind I. was I'm joining the elite I'm I'm doing.

the best I can do at my age and and it. was and it was brutal it was Brut and I. I look back now and. think if it'd be hard as a 16-year-old. say would I want that to happen to. someone part of me would say no but part. of me now is like yeah but it has to. again it is conditioning yeah and here's. the but here's a question here's the. thing and it's not it's like an open. question to everyone listening to you. as as I said earlier we've got the Army. Foundation college that is setting it's.

a like I I put it in a good light it's. setting young people up for service in. the military and in life. great Junior par. though turned me into a. warrior so what do you want because you. can't have in my opinion you can't have. both mhm do you want this 17-year-old. when they graduate 17 year old you want. them to be set up in life you know the.

the message and that we got now and oh. yeah you're going to do well and you can. do this and you can drive a car and you. can balance your books and you and. you've done all you want them to be a. [ __ ] killing. machine cuz that's what you got from. Junior par yeah is like I remember. writing a letter to my mother saying I I. I asked her when I was researching one. man in if she had it she could didn't. have it but it was saying how for me I. wanted die in combat I want a storm a. machine gun position it's the ultimate. honor to be killed fighting from a.

country and so it was that sort of. that's what were seeing to me and it was. like that thing of going yeah and and. and that's what you got and that's why. like I said there's such many a lot of. these people went ended up in Special. Forces or career Soldiers with the. command sergeant major because it was. this thing of like yeah you know what as. a power Trooper away why why do you join. the Army it's like I want to jump out of. airplanes and kill people that's what I. want to do like okay just and it's that.

rather than going oh yeah well I want to. get a trade I want to get some my life. experience want to see the world okay. you haven't got you haven't got the. mindset to be dropped Behind Enemy Lines. yeah and close in with a superior force. and kill the Queen's enemies that's. that's what the view was then in my. opinion and it was and it was and and. then the instructors were on that line. boom boom like this is what we're. training for we're training for all out. War. there was nothing and you saw when I. used to walk past used to walk P it was.

in the guards depool in Southern England. and you could see the like the guards. between were allowed to put posters and. things up on the on the walls and. pictures of their families and stuff. nothing nothing was allowed in up on the. walls in the junior par block with the. exception of one thing was the Ten. Commandments of the parachute of the. German F sha the German parachute. Rifleman really yeah that's the only. thing was lot in every room on the walls. do you remember them mo most of them I'm.

going to get tested um but the things. that step out is for you you are the. embodiment and it changed it to British. but you because it said the the Ten. Commandment of the of the power troop. you are the embodiment of the British. Warrior for you the fight will be the. the goal seek it always seek it. out what was going on sorry hard as. tough as leather hard as C steel agile. is a greyhound you are the embodiment of. the British soldier for you the. Fulfillment will be batt seek it out. wherever you can something like that wow. which is the last one which I think is.

pretty hurting and there's other things. more controversial is say like be shy of. chatter men act women chatter chatter. will take you to the Grave so it's. nice what what year is this 1992 1992. what was going on in the world then from. your perspective from it was the the. main effort from from the UK point of. view was just the troubles in Northern. Ireland what kind of troubles like the. the the Insurgency so would be the it. was the only deployment for British.

troops to go to Northern Island and. assist with the policing there Patrol. patrolling like the streets of of the of. the streets and into the rural areas of. uh of Northern irand did you go there. mhm what kind of stuff are you guys. doing we're just doing like routine. patrols yeah anything exciting uh. there's a few the they were big on to. the IID things and and it's hard to. imagine this is still UK and it's they. still there now but um but um not to me. personally um but to people in the same.

company as me someone got badly injured. with a improvised explosive D hit an. armored vehicle and things and this is. on the streets of UK wow that's crazy. Norther Island and it was and people. were being killed every day that's still. going on sectarian violence this the. ceasefire happened in. 1995 what is it what is the can you give. us some insight into the I don't I want. to do it in Justice cuz it's just like. yeah is it criminal what is it what kind. of organization well it's the you have.

the religious element Catholics and the. Protestant again apologies to anyone. watching this because I'm going to I'm. not doing this any justice in it's. complicated but you have then you have. the people who the Republicans who want. a United Island that's the IRA okay and. then but then you have uh loyalist. terrorists who don't want to United. Island and they fight each other and. kill each other okay and and and and it. went to came to a boiling point in the. 1960s are any of these government. entities entities uh there is a.

political win wing of the IRA which is. shinan and and um again apologies to. everyone out there who's watching going. yeah I'm I'm not I'm not 100% And it is. this is just this is the way that you. understand it so and we were we were. just supporting Police Operations I I. was a young. 18-year-old um young guy on patrol. that's how did it feel yeah being out. there for the first time it was good. well. so I went to like an operating base in.

in West Bast and. um and I was 17 years old when I got. there and they just started like like a. six month a six week rotation in this. patrol base so I can't go on the ground. so I just so my task when I first get. there is I'm the company Runner so I'm. sitting in the oper room making Cups of. Tea and stuff for the people then get. delivering messages because no mobile. phones or anything then and uh on the uh. and I'd only been there a few days and. then my 18th birthday was coming up.

didn't think anything of it at the time. at the so. it's day before my birthday and my stick. who I'm being attached to they're going. out on patrol and the stick leader is. like hey just just hang in the room. watch you're not on you're not doing. Duty you don't have to be in the oppos. room tonight just watch a movie and then. get your head down we'll not we'll all. be back till early hours of the morning. like okay so I'm watching a movie and. then I go to bed and then at 1 minute. past midnight the door gets kicked. in and my stick leader there all all his.

gear and says who ended up in the SCS. himself like before me um he's then. going get hey crackhead get your gear on. we're going out like cuz now I'm legal 1. minute P so I put on my full gear and. all the police and sticks all waiting. for me outside and when happy birthday. and then they put in the vehicle on. armored vehicle we go out on a patrol in. the streets and that's my that's like a. few minutes into my 18th birthday nice. so well what happened nothing again most.

of the time in Northern Ireland it was. just maintaining a presence and how long. did how much time did you spend in the. regiment uh 15 years 15 years and then. what oh sorry in the parachute regimen. yes sorry um yeah I was so I was in the. second Battalion the parachute regimen. for 3 years okay and then I volunteered. to go into path line to Pon and pathline. P again isn't it's the Brigade. reconnaissance Force for the Airborne. Brigade it's very similar the the the.

equivalent in us would be Force Recon. okay um so very very hard selection to. get in Fast and Furious selection um doe. the same Hills as is what you do on in. then Breen beacons running around there. navigating on your. own um and then once you're in there you. do high attitudal opening parachute. descent and specialist training they had. M16s at the time when M16 a2s when the. British army was still on the sa80. weapon so it was kind of like a poor man.

Special Forces okay what year is this. this is 1996 1996 and that and that. first year in pathfinding patun was. probably one of the best years in my. life it's so much so much fun it was. just a good. experience at the I'm sure it was 1997. they got a sergeant major and things. went bad then cuz before it was like a. band of. rugs and they s Ser major thing it's not. a it's not a point of the s m not the. it's not to bad mouth the sergeant major.

but beforehand I think the command. didn't have a point of contact to say. you need to tell your guys to get a. haircut you need to guy you got to wear. isue equipment so when when the with the. emergence of a sergeant major the the. Brigade headquarters now then had a a. point of contact so things stopped being. fun and and and and just after a year of. getting into Pathfinders. I then had a really bad accident Road. accident MH which this is in 1997 1997.

so this is a major yeah this is a. turning point in your life yes I think. again it's one of those things what did. it have have to happen probably and it. wasn't very nice but um but I was badly. like badly. injured what happened um well we were. driving up onto onto a mountain training. exercise in in. Scotland and on the on the. motorway one sort of truck pulled out in. front of.

another the the guy driving out I was in. a Land Rover in the back of a Land Rover. he swerved kind of lost control of the. vehicle or a vehicle because there's no. witness cuz most people died so that's. what they think happened Land Rover. rolled down the hill um I was catapulted. out of the back of the Land Rover I was. in a sleeping bag and that saved my life. because the Land Rover went flat one of. the trucks rolled on top of the Landover. and crushed it killing the driver. another Pathfinder instantly and.

trapping another Pathfinder in the uh. passenger seat who who who who was. injured but not that badly and then I. was catapulted out into onto the into a. tree and then they found me when the. emergency service turned up they found. me in the tree apparently in a sleeping. bag and I was busted up yeah you know so. um um I keep on forgetting one one of. the terms but um Sor I did dislocated my. hip so got a leg pulled out of its. socket in my in my hip I broke um ribs.

on my uh one of the sides this side my. right side broke the ribs there had a. tension human neuro thorax so things. were getting bad there um brought my. collarbone my shoulder blade um my jaw. my cheek my skull and then I had a bade. on the brain I had a either a subdural. hematoma or extal home on on different. medic reports to say different things. basically I had a bleed on the brain.

life threatening I also broke my neck in. three places and back in seven places so. I was in a I was in a bad way I was. pretty poorly and um they rushed me to. hospital and then. um they they notified my mother and my. stepdad and they came down and they said. to my mother he's not going. to you know prepare to put me on the. ward where like he's in life support now. you moved him into the world where yeah. be prepared that he he's gone and then.

uh at some point I was resuscitated. twice and then and then I and. then and then I was in a coma for three. weeks two two two two and a half weeks. and then I came out of it and then uh. and I came out of the coma and I'm in. the in the recovery Ward and they've. taken all like luckily I was in and so. I was in a coma for most of the time so. so I didn't really feel any I got out of.

I got I got away with it lightly so I. didn't have to and I had traction on my. leg when I woke up and my neck was kind. of they were fractures but they were all. stable so I didn't have to have any of. these Halos or anything. on and I I get I'm in the recovery award. and I get a phone call the N say there's. someone phoning you at the desk so I. they taking the traction off so I hobble. down and say yeah make sure you're at. work make sure you're back at work in. like two weeks time after Christmas it. was like it was about four weeks and I. was like okay and it wasn't even that.

long ago it's 1997 and I didn't have any. rehab at all for this are you serious. it's crazy isn't it and it's like no. rehab I didn't even get downgraded on my. military docks I was just like no rehab. and it was just. like make yourself better and then. eventually I did my I did my first jump. five months afterwards and the first. jump I did was a um from I think it was. I looked at my log book it was 18,000 ft. with full operational load out and. carrying a.

gpmg dropped to my side that's the first. jump I did after that five months later. and I shouldn't have done it but you're. young young guy then I'm like 23 going. yeah I'm good how you how are you. feeling yeah I'm good yeah I'm not good. yeah but I'm going to do it and uh I. suffered a bit with my back for a few. years after that and then then but it's. fine now touchwood um but that that's. that that was weird because that's a. thing of I always say to people who are. injured now is like make sure. you're fit like don't no one's going to.

thank you for it no one's going to thank. you for like putting yourself on the. line again early make sure you recovered. but here's the other thing as well as I. wasn't right because of maybe the bleed. on the brain I so my memory when I think. about what I was doing in in that 1997. into. 1998 until. about 10 months afterwards I wasn't. right wasn't right in the head and I. thought I was right it's like people who.

do people who are or people who are. insane do they know they're insane no. it's a I'd say thing I'd get into fights. I'd be like and and then eventually I it. just came I got better but it was um but. yeah it was it it and again I'm not. throwing dirt but I was definitely. mismanaged mhm definitely they they. thought again they thought it was I keep. on saying again they they thought it. would have been better for my welfare to. be down in work and a but it's a. military town so I'm always going out.

pretty much most nights drinking and. fighting and stuff so it's like that. kind of thing it's old as shot in the. '90s it's um is good and bad so but the. best thing what they should have really. done is just stay at home in hindsight. it would have been just stay at home get. fit have some home cooking yeah family. look after you keep your right that's. what they should have done because the. in their like view is come down and the. Army would keep me right but the Army. doesn't keep me right it just I would. just left with the guys again so but.

yeah but I recovered from it. and I know you were you were on the Iraq. invasion correct in 2003 yeah let's. rewind just a little bit to 9911 2001. yeah this is an interesting conversation. I think because I've never asked a. a. foreign special operator what it was.

like on 911 from their perspective and. so I'd like to ask you on September 11. 2001 what where were you and what was. going through your head. um I was in the jungle when it happened. so I didn't hear about it initially I. was actually on selection it was a. selection that I was on I was an SS. selection that I failed I didn't um well. I didn't feel it I didn't pass it but I. got injured in the jungle I got injured. I think it was on.

9/11 um got Kaz acted out I was all. right but the the training officer. wouldn't let me go back into the jungle. so I was then said come back another. time M so I was W and then it's only. when I got out from the hospital having. been checked up then it was still on the. news it was like and everyone's just. like what the hell but the thing is. people like is the common phrase was. this is it's like watching a movie is. this really happening. and um so there's that feeling of wow.

and people don't say in UK and. and I think it's quite sad to say people. in UK I felt when I got back no one was. really it didn't it didn't burn itself. into society like it did in the United. States people are aware of it yeah but. it. didn't it. didn't see you know that searing sort of. we're under attack mental like focus it. was just it's another. incident that's how I view it was felt. in in UK it wasn't like this energized.

there certainly wasn't people joining up. the military going right I've just saw. 911 yeah it's time to gear it's time to. gear up or whatever it's that it didn't. have that effect did it go through your. head that you were probably going to go. to war uh kind of I was very focused on. getting into the into the unit so I was. like and but uh but but that it's only. in hindsight did I realize that was a. that was a turning point for my life as.

well because that's. when up until 911 I uh done a couple of. deployments with path fers into the. Balkans into into NC own but that's when. up and up and but they so how do how do. I frame this is that I had a life up. until 911 I'd always go back to my. hometown a lot and I then I'd. meet my guys that I know from my. hometown and go out and socialize and. meet people that's when things got real.

CU that's when I went realized was when. when I was nearly retiring yeah it's. from. 2001 that's when I stopped going home. because things got busier and uh and for. me there wasn't much going like we were. just in the unit we our first deployment. was 2003 so we didn't respond uh. although path rers did go to um uh. Afghanistan in 2002 2001 but I was I was. back on I was going on selection that. got cold off at the last moment but um.

but yeah so but then that's when things. got real and then I I joined the army. sorry joined the the unit in 2000 what. is. it I mean so you deployed as a Alli to. the United States MH correct I mean what. is like what what was the briefing you. know what. it I guess what is it. like to go to war. for something that happened to a country. that you're not a part.

of I. think it all comes back to how the. mainstream media and the politicians. frame things isn't it about this we're. going because of the weapons of mass. destruction we're part of a Allied task. force to rid the world of evil that kind. of message is isn't it so. wasn't I think most British soldiers. didn't think they were going there in. support of the of the United States okay. they going as part of a task force which. is the United States and other countries.

were. included what did it I mean but it's. stuck I've seen you guys there the. entire time M you know in the Iraq. theater in the Afghanistan theater I. mean did it become apparent that that. the us is going to drag this war on and. on and on no I think I think people get. I think people just get most soldiers. the average like time spaning people in. the military isn't long career soldiers. but people just like go with.

it a lot of for myself it's more. hindsight you think wow how did that. happen yeah what was the what was the. pulse of just the UK in general I mean. Europe. was Europe was very critical of every. move that the US made in then in both of. those Wars however most of them took. part in the war the media as far as I'm. aware were pretty supportive. of going to war and support our troops.

really and things. I apologies if I'm wrong but I was but I. was there so I mean I was deploying so I. didn't really get it so that I I I'm not. really seeing the newspapers CU I'm. deployed so that's what I think happened. but I may be wrong but um it but people. might be call me wrong and they're just. working on in hindsight go no no no we. all no one wanted to go to war Tony. Blair took us into it illegal War blah. blah blah but I suggest that you maybe. weren't saying that at the time now.

you're just saying it in hindsight. because you know information and that's. easy to do and we'll talk about an inant. later on as people talk about and. remember people when you're doing it you. don't know the. outcome same as same as when people. think about these weapons of mass. destruction what it at the time people. thought they existed mhm so. it's easy now to point fingers and say. we shouldn't have done it yeah.

um. but I mean what was the pulse of your. unit were you guys excited yeah yeah. yeah any any any. opportunity um to go to combat or. potential combat is should be greeted. with enthusiasm be like yeah this. hopefully this will be it the the two. deployments done before we hadn't really. seen any combat. when I say combat I'm using the term. combat shooting an exchange of gunfight. isn't necessarily combat in my opinion.

so so but like. um as a lot of people in Iraq and. Afghanistan will find out in the future. that you know that then it was it was. like on mhm some guys in the British. army had some real real tough fights but. um but at that time it was kind of an. unusual thing 20 going into 2003 there. hadn't been. this how long and had been since. the regiment had been at at at War where.

were you guys drawing regiment in 2003. okay this is I'm still in Pathfinder. between Pathfinder what where I guess. what I'm asking is where were you guys. drawing your experience from yeah um. again every sorry it's a sorry I'm. getting confused because sometimes. people most people call the reg I call. the unit I call the SCS the unit but a. lot of people call the SCS the regiment. okay so when he sometime yeah. um uh but from the um or anyone from the.

parachute the the last sort of proper. scrapping war was the Faulkland war in. 1982 so you're drawn from 1982. experience in. 2001 20 and but then when they went to. Afghanistan they weren't it wasn't it. was the different Afghanistan so 2003. was when this arm is deploying to um. Iraq to to the invade Iraq um do do you. understand what I'm asking so so.

in with the SEAL Teams when we went. in you're drawing off experience from. very real world operations I mean there. was some stuff that went down in Panama. and Columbia right there was a couple of. seals on the ground in Somalia there. wasn't a whole lot of experience like. real experience to draw from exactly the. same thing he had a lot of. experience of Peace time and that's and.

that was the same thing in in the Army I. joined because as much as they were. super professional and dedicated. instructors and training none of them at. any combat yeah with the exception of uh. in junior par one one one cobal was in. the folklands and one of and Theon. Sergeant was in the forland but the. others were talking about yeah kill kill. kill but none of them had done it before. mhm so it was it's interesting when you. think about it like and I think that's. where the military's is heading now is.

we've got a whole like generation of. instructors who missed the bat on the. war and Terror yeah and and and draw and. and are drawing on experience of like so. now they teaching on opinion rather than. an experience yeah well this is a whole. another this is a whole another. direction that we can go into but I I. mean personally I believe here in the US. I don't I can't speak for anywhere else. I believe believe that they are actively. trying. to get rid of all of the wartime.

experience in that entire mindset that's. that's why you're seeing the forced. vaccinations that's why you're seeing. the woke agenda yeah that's why you're. seeing forced in what do they. inclusivity yeah you know all of these. things nobody joins the military to deal. with that kind of [ __ ] you know they. join the military to defend their. country and go to War fight and go to. battle for their country it seemed like.

a mark of Shame if you say that nowadays. you say what do you want to do I want to. go to war oh and like all of the. recruitment adverts are all based around. either walk agenda or it's about peace. like peace time type operations like. support and influence yes they're. important yeah but you but it's always. like that sort of narrative not full. on there's no pride in it full on the. Russians attacking it's World War III. let's go not none of that it's and it's. like I'm and and I suspect I can only.

speak for myself and people might. strongly disagree with this but it's. like a mark of Shame now if you were. served in if you said I I was in the war. on terror it's like oh we don't talk. about that that's that's not what we're. about yeah we're we're we're getting. really good at a racing history it cost. me and every a lot of other people a lot. of. things. um recruiting numbers are down in the UK. I believe so yeah yeah there are and. especially into the um I I'm I don't.

know firsthand but I someone said there. was an article recently that recruitment. into Special Forces or the tier one. special forces is an alltime law as well. apparently I might be wrong but. apparently it's I know for a fact it is. here but it it it seems like it's just. it's a message it's a message it's. like where your action movies all these. it's like training from the minute. you're born now you have a generation of. people not all but this is the. generation well why would I want to do. that well there's a high chance of death.

high risk do I get paid more not really. why would I want to do that mhm it's. just strange it's actually a good. question yeah Dragon right isn't it it's. for like brag rights it's the biggest M. Eagles are brilliant it's that's what. it's for like why do you want to do it. well so I can see I'm in NY seal I mean. looking looking at like listening to. what you're saying I'm hearing it and. I'm like actually this is just common. sense yeah who's do I get paid more no. why would I want to do I get paid more. no is there chance of death yes sign me.

up yeah I'm in yeah there's a there's a. high chance you do this Mission you're. never going to come back it's a oneway. mission sounds great perfect yeah well. let's rewind let's go back to 2003 so. you. deployed for The Invasion the Iraq. invasion in 2003 is a is a Pathfinder. yeah how many people are you deploying. with. in my team it was a six-man team that's. it yeah six-man and six-man like rison's.

team um I didn't when we deployed into. across the border we my uh Patrol wasn't. employed as so we was drove over in the. uh cut down Land Rovers across with the. main force and then waited we waited for. a mission um I was quite a I was held in. very high regard by the officer. commanding of Pathfinders and he was. saying I'm I'm not going to employ you. yet waiting for the right job for you. which was frustrating for me and. frustrating for my team and um but then.

I got a job and it was good what was it. it was good it was a close Target. reconnaissance of an Iraqi armor. division so man getting close to the. Iraqi armor. division on foot going in and getting as. close as you can trying to work out. numbers routine and also look at there. was a like a MSR like a a a road behind. the armor division was also a secondary. mission was to check the quality of the.

road and what condition it was in and. and that that kind of vibe and general. atmospherics of the area so this is so. Pathfinders is a reconnaissance element. yeah is there's a sniper element as well. the the the snipers in in every team. there's a sniper in every team so for my. for this Mission it was like you're. going to there's 4,000. um Iraqi troops in this armor division. four thou you guys are and it's me.

conducting surveillance six man team no. air support um whoa and it's um I've got. I I was a jtac at the time I was the. team leader and and I carried the radio. in case we if we needed our support we'd. do a nine line and it would but it. wasn't overhead it would be choke to us. if we needed. it and I had to think about this it was. and it was. I'm I'm going to say this to everyone. it's a true story and doesn't mean. everything I say is is [ __ ] but it.

was it was a good Mission and they also. actually said to me you don't have to do. this because it's a high we KN we kind. of work they said that you're going to. come into contact with the Enemy it's. high risk you don't have to do it but if. you want it you can do it and I was like. of course I'm going to do it there's. like yeah so I then came up with the. plan and because of the uh did you say. am I get it paid more. yeah no what is there's a high chance of. dying yeah yes but it I'm in.

yeah um but so so my how I'm doing this. is we're going to um use another Patrol. to um we call a sponsor Patrol so we. drove to like a release point and so we. got given this operations box around. this armor Division and he had three par. third p in the parachute their sniper. team was on looking at the bottom bit. and then the armored reconnaissance was. looking into the top bit and my team was. going to go into the actual hornets. nest um the sponsor Patrol so all in all.

it' be two vehicles from my team and two. vehicles from the sponsor patol would go. to release point and then I would leave. my vehicles behind and then go in on. foot so the sponsor and and because of. noise I didn't want to take six. people there so I said I'm going to go. with three people me and two. others so we then work out who's going. to do it so I go in I've got my the Army. suu S80 rifle with a 40 uh mik mic.

grenade launcher underneath I've got the. radio for the aircraft and then take. Patty who is actually my second in. command brilliant sniper he's going in. with a sniper rifle me and the reason. for that is um when we get to a point. where we're going to approach in on foot. Patty would then set up with his sniper. rifle give OverWatch whilst me and a guy. called. would then go in two of us towards the. armored vehicles and and and and try and.

scope it out so less people less. movement less. noise and Larry who's get uh ended up. into into the SCS as well um brilliant. Soldier brilliant mindset he had the. M249 the minim and so we had as much and. we had hand grenades and Browning high. power pistols so we're we're taking as. much Firepower as we can for three men. so we on the first night we have a a bit. of an incident one of the vehicles. rolles and the second in command of.

Pathfinders and an officer gets badly. injured and he and so that's the mission. gets scrubbed that night next night just. reset and do it again this time. everything goes well we get to the. release point and then we the three of. us set off on foot into the um into this. Army division the going from the release. point to the towards it is Terri ible. there like like mounds of mud every like. mud mounds and it was so uh bad going um.

so I should add as well for that night. we blacked out all our faces not like. camouflage cream not black face so we. just like and and my my theory was. because I'd heard it from an experienced. SCS guy years earlier who who taught me. a lot was that if you come face to face. with the Enemy it gives you like a a. good Edge having camouflage cream on and. and I and we sort of knew we were going. to come into contact with the Enemy and. like before we left we stripped down our. weapons cleaned the magazines everything.

because it was like a given people were. very envious that we're going to do it. because we knew so we're set off on foot. and it's the going is so bad like really. bad so I again have to make a Command. Decision but I'm going to run it through. these these two guys who are holding the. highest regard so look we're not going. to make we're going to if we continue to. go on this course we're not we're not. going. to get there in time in worst case we'll. be trapped in the daylight in the open. said so what I suggest is we get onto.

this track you know the rules we don't. walk on tracks but we got on this track. mve down the track at PACE up until. there's some a set of power lines. crossing it and said that we'll use that. power lines as a as a mark and then get. off the track and then move towards the. armor division you're happy with that. cuz it's moving on trap track and I know. but I think it's the best idea and. they're like absolutely it's the best. call so get on the track I'm number one. Larry with the minimize is number two. and Paddy at the back with the sniper.

rifle and then we're moving down this. moving down the. track as we're approaching um like. there's like so there's on the right. hand side of this track there's a burm. about 6 feet high all the way down as. you as you see in the Middle East a lot. and um moving down the track and see the. power lines and just is about to break. off the power lines to go off us the my. uh day sack with my packings aching my. arms and I stopped to adjust it and as I.

stop I hear whispering to my right hand. side I'm like so I hear whispering to my. right hand side I'm like in. Arabic so I slowly slowly turn and I'm. like that and we had no vision goggles. on I'm like to the two other guys I'm. like that like thumbs down like enemy. like there mhm and then and then um. Larry's like stops PA and like like. silently swings straight away to cover. and the distance is about we're about.

eight yards apart that's it uh from from. from each other three of us so there's. like eight yards to me Larry and then. about eight yards back to um paty but. the the the burm is about from me to you. way and the whisperings on the other. side of it so I'm. like and um and I'm like that tarian. Patty and they slowly woke up. and then as we as he gets I'm like this. whisper whis Whispering over the other. side of the birm like cuz it's this.

thing well the message was like you. can't Engage The Enemy unless you're. getting engaged or like thing and I'm. like and all of a sudden I don't know if. it's because the movement the whispering. someone stands up behind the BM. instantly I reach up lean up and and. um and take a shot one shot my weapon. jams then I go into trans Trans State I.

don't freeze out I'm like BMP he goes. down but my weapon stopped don't know. why I just run like straight down to my. V pocket pull out a high explosive. grenade run over the burm sorry I'm. missing a bit out be before the uh as. they close up I then silently go to the. burm and look over the top of my I. vision goggles on and I can see around. about 8 to 12 Iraqi soldiers all in a. huddle talking to each other and stuff.

so I think where they where the um power. lines was was like a they were using. that as a like we were as a marker and. it was like a standing Patrol or Sentry. position then I close down and then I. say 8 to 12 Iraqi army army soldiers U. behind the burm and I don't know if it's. because they heard the movement or they. heard my voice that and then guy stands. up take the shot he goes down so you. killed him I I don't know I don't know. if I hit him well probably hit him but I. don't know if I killed him was one shot. with gotcha you know with NATO ammo but. he goes down I then run up with the high.

explosive grenade and throw it down into. the uh into all the. Iraqis that. detonates and there's a bit of a scream. and the still threat to life and all. there and I run and I pull out my brown. high pistol p a pistol and I um and I uh. um shoot five of them so it's like a. chaos. drill and um on onto my uh left hand. side Larry's there he's making music.

with his M249 he's dealing with threats. and then and then um Paddy with a sniper. rifle he's then throwing hand grenades. to potential depth position wow and uh. so this is my first experience of using. lethal force and um and there's a lot of. takeaway points from this so then when. so then I'm like okay let's go and um um. I'm like let's let's go I quickly.

quickly clear that stoppage what I think. had happened is the cocking handle on a. sa moves back and forth and when it. fired that first round it caught on my. like loose um black. jacket and then um so that then um so. the all threats have been neutralized. like said all like recognized straight. away firstly when we set up and then. when we took the shot when went over the. top in the D they were still you know. what high explosive grenades like it's. not like the movies where everyone gets.

blown it's like over stun but people. were there weapons threat to life we. were in the middle of it we're a war so. then we I engaged five of them and then. and take them down and then like I said. what all the other things going on and. then say right let's go used two move. back and I'll cover so we then do the. one I'm like holding it they're running. back running moving back. um I fired a 40 mil grenade just just. just beyond the position just to deter. any sort of followup and then um then I.

said right get on the road and let's. [ __ ] go um so we did a couple of. bounds and then it was turn and then run. and to all these doubters in the. military you say want do combat Fitness. tests and you got your gear and you got. to run fast for two miles it's for. things like this and we're running and. we run to the emergency extraction point. or the emergency rendevu. um um get. there Larry uh sorry uh Patty then set.

up his sniper rifle so looking down. hopefully we're hoping there's going to. be a followup and um but then I'm on the. radio yeah send a cona report asking for. the sponsor Patrol to come and pick us. up and then we're waiting in the dock. and um it's funny because Larry's like. cursing to himself quietly under his. going why the [ __ ] aren't they coming. like he's like and that's we're all. angry that they're not following us why. aren't they why aren't they trying to. attack us why aren't they coming after. us cuz where're again it's that.

mindset we want this armor division this. this strange mental we want the armor. division to mobilize and come come at us. M and um. So eventually the sponsor Patrol gets. here and we get extracted out and then. uh back to all the way back to the. headquarters get there like and. obviously it's Talk of the Town because. people are saying oh this had closed. quarter engagement yeah and uh and it's. all good and we get ready to go in the. next night so it's like so Mission kind. of failure cuz we got compromised but.

they say we're happy to go in the next. night to establish uh and this time the. next night would go in and put an. observation post in we' still do the CTR. but then do the observation po but the. the takeaway Point were was. like um so like. preparation that my the reaction that I. did and same as Paddy and. Larry they were critical because we kind.

of because we kind of knew we were going. to get into a fight the odds are was. like almost certain and everyone knew. that the headquarters everyone knew that. so we were keyed in to that I often. think if that had been a routine Patrol. and we' stumbled across the enemy in. such a way would we have reacted would. our would we would we have been so keyed. up. and it's the good point is that's what. I'm saying to anyone who carries a gun. whether it be law enforcement military.

or. civilians do you think you're going to. kill someone today and they're like a. lot of the times say no I'm say why. not you carrying a gun someone thinks. that you you're at such a threat that. you need to carry a gun or you think. you're a threat that you need to carry a. gun so you really should be thinking. you're going to have to use lethal force. today otherwise why are you carrying it. to me seems logical but again it's and. what I'm what's that around it's not. sound like a psychopath it's so it's. like have your head in the game yeah.

earlier to what from what something I. said earlier about seeing the. signs knowing and like anyone who pulls. a trigger with a surprised look on the. face it never usually ends well so it's. that whole thing you see it coming you. see the signs you get prepared you get. your head in the game and this could be. taking place over milliseconds MH but. that's the the good point of that that. is a damn good point. that's. a that's a hell of a first. engagement rifle malfunctions you go up.

you use a fragmentation grenade and then. you kill five people with a. pistol what is it like going home after. that what's it like going home after. that yeah was I mean to me when did it. register oh straight away. but it's for me it was like what. happened I used I. mean it I went I went to sleep that. night this I maybe we're going to circle.

back to this later on when we talk about. faith because there's something happened. in between um but after what happened in. between let's just do it okay let's so. so I go to the opice room I like what. happened is I had an a close qut. engagement With the Enemy things went. wrong I performed it was kill or be. killed and I did my job and it was all. this thing as we all know in the. military or do you think you could. really kill a man do you think you could. do that how do you think you do in. combat It Came to Me Close Quarters.

closer than what the same probably the. same distance that I am to you was the. engagement range and it was high stress. high speed incident and not only did I. perform well but Patty my tiic and Laren. all per like like boom boom boom and it. was a good feeling great. feeling you know I was tested in the. ultimate Way close quarter combat and we.

won and we and we live and we and we and. we fight another day that's what to me. is a a good feeling. mhm so I get to the Brigade headquarters. the Brigadier wants to up update. everything to that and I'm talking to. them people like shaking my hand anding. good job things like that and then see. the Padre who's a friend of mine. at this point I don't feel any guilt so. I have no guilt about it at all I don't. feel and I still to this day don't feel. bad about it it's like again it's a.

combat. experience and I see the I see the Padre. and I look and all of a sudden I feel. this well of emotion inside me you know. when you you know when you do something. bad at school or when you're a child and. you see your parents and you think oh. your botton lip starts shaking or. whatever it was like that and he kind of. must have saw that and he and he knew I. was a man of faith. and he and he said to me he said um. Chris do you want to come take. communion right now and I went yeah so.

we went to a. makeshift made a makeshift sort of alter. if you. like and then he did like he did like to. call in. communion and and. [Music]. I'm there on my knees and it felt like. and my eyes closed praying and it felt. like. someone had moved this hogen sort of. light above me and turned it on and I.

could feel this light and warmth going. through me as a took. communion it was like I could feel it. it's like I could feel and not only. could I feel it it's like literal like. there was a light above me even though. my eyes were closed it was like bright. as if someone had put a search light. above me and I could feel a heat off the. light running through my body wow. and I open my eyes and the parre looks. at. me and. says did you feel that and I'm.

like yeah I goes I thought might just be. me one no he goes sometimes you I goes. sometimes there's moments when you are. close to God and we were close to God. right. now what did that feel like after he. said that yeah it was it. was it. it it's a bit of a punk because that but. it enlightened me it felt like I was it.

felt like I had laser focus it felt like. I. was I felt clean if that makes sense I. felt. like I could breathe you know you know. you know a bit like if you've been on a. spa day or something it was like walking. out of a spa day and then I and then I. went to this is where maybe get a bit L. brow I then went did a report went to. where we were my team were sleeping got. in my sleeping bag zipped it up and went. and as it was falling asleep falling to.

sleep it was like I it was a little boy. who just had the best Christmas present. ever because as I said earlier I'd been. tested in. combat. and. me like friends and I had all been. tested we all and we all we all won we. won we we were put into the in in the. Into The Hornet's Nest face to face with. the Enemy and we got out of there and we. we did we did a good job so it was like.

yeah was that the first time in your. life that you had really. felt that close to. God yes it's one of one right there yeah. so two first experiences within 24 hours. probably within less than 24 hours. correct well within within 4 hours. within 4 hours of each other you had. taken another man's life for the first. time and felt the presence of God well.

extremely close to you extremely close I. think I felt him the presence of God. before that do you think that's a. coincidence no no why do you think that. happened at that point in time I think. it was it was part it's all part of. a it's the. like every time I move away from faith I. get pulled back in. so let's take a break. yeah when I first started this whole.

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you're in that's shopify.com. Shan the media is crumbling and it's. crumbling extremely fast by the day why. because everybody knows they're hiding. something people are beginning to. realize they have been lied to for years. in years everywhere you look it's lies. even the institutions that we all. thought that we could trust are turning.

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from the break we had just kind of. covered your first operational combat. experience uh with the Iraq invasion and. so before we move on in your career is. there anything else that you would like. to discuss when it comes to the. Pathfinder uh stuff I think I'll just. leave it at that you want to leave it at. that leave it that that the stories. perfect perfect well let's move. into the SAS mhm it took you three times.

to get in there yeah when did you find. out about the Special Air. Service. um I knew I found out quite young as a. as a as when I was quite young okay when. as they still are today they within. newspapers a lot the Iranian Embassy. Siege happened in 1980 I I can't. remember that I I was I would have been. four years old but I I that people say. they remember it I I don't remember it.

but uh but I'd always heard them being. mentioned and and it's still to this. days what people say it's the it's the. magic dust of the country oh they should. just send the S SAS in to go and get. them or to kill them or to do this or to. so that's what the The Working Man is is. like saying oh just send the SAS in. they'll sort them out so um and then the. movie as mentioned before who dies win. I saw that when I. was I think it would have been 11 or 12. years old which is still You could argue.

too young to see that movie but I saw it. and in my mind I always that's why I was. I need I need to be in the SCS when I. joined the army and when I was in. training and when I was in I never. mentioned about joining the SS I never I. never openly said it to people well I. want to do one thing at a time I wanted. to get in the parachute regimen first. let's get in the parachute regimen first. and. then so but in my heart even when I went. into the Army Recruiting office and I. wanted to I wanted to be in the SC you.

know what is the can you can you explain. a little bit of the difference between. SAS and SP SPS there's kind of no real. difference um they do the same well. there's no real difference one is the so. the there's lots of different people. will say what's he saying that for the. selection process is identical so we do. a joint selection okay so you're mixed. in yeah so you do a joint selection and. and that and and they and they're the.

but the on paper they are the um. Maritime um tier one special forces. element okay so so there's not one up. here and one they're equivalent they're. supposed to be the same so Roger that R. to. that when it comes to the selection are. you recruited for SBS SAS you volunteer. to you volunteer do you volunteer for.

what are they do they both fall under an. umbrella you you you you you can if. you're in the Army uh apply to on the S. SPS and if you're in the Navy other raw. Marines you can apply to join the. sasf as well so this is basically Del. Delta SEAL Team Six equivalent yeah if. correct mhm SBS would be more the team. six Delta would be more the SAS yeah. okay okay makes sense and you volunteer. so you put request in through your unit. that goes to the.

recruitment sell and then you have to do. some courses pre courses. to get on selection and then you go on. selection and it's a it's a six-month. process on and then and then. continuation training after you're. badged into your units but the continue. continuation training is then separated. so the so the guys who pass SCS. selection do their. continue do their continuation training. in Herford and the SPs in in pool and. like that's where they'll do their dive. training and things okay do you guys do.

dive training no no all Air. stuff it's just a mix oh okay yeah. gotcha what is the what is these what. are they looking what do you think. they're looking for when it comes to. recruiting SAS. guys I think um. we being blunt about it is the one. people who are physically capable.

whatever that means so robust and fit MH. like really fit and really robust people. put uh more importantly selection. continues is you need to be able to. assimilate. information and be time is always. precious in theory selection should be. much longer but where so crumming a lot. of stuff in and trying to test and. evaluate so we want people who can pick. up assimilate ulation quickly get get. told something put it into practice and.

then do the next skill set so that and. and being a to work with with other. people of uh is another key requirement. so that's kind of what they're looking. for is there a certain type. of disposition. attitude demeanor that they're looking. for not what they're looking for I think. people just fall into that. category what is it like do they have. interviews before you go to the. selection I'm not they didn't when I was.

you just throw your name in the Hat get. approved and you're in Yeah well yeah. and you do the course here interesting. what is the what would you say the. culture is like what is it like when you. show up for selection are they welcoming. do they treat you like [ __ ] no it's very. quiet it's just people again we're on. the borders of what I'm going to talk. about and not talk about but M um when. you turn up selection it's similar to. joining the Army again everyone's. measuring everyone up MH they from the.

instructed point of view they're not. saying anything they're not imposing. anything they're not they don't need to. strictly evaluation it's just they're. not they're not like screaming shouting. doing whatever they're just they're. they're part of the in they don't like I. said the selection process they they. people know what they're getting into. but it's more of the you know when 200. people or S just short 200 people turn. up on day one and you're looking on. going. statistically about you know six. to 6 to 12 people are going to graduate. out of this so you get about a 5% chance.

of making sometimes as bigger courses. sometimes as smaller but um like pass. but you're looking around and you're. thinking who who's going to pass am I. going to be one of these is there. someone else you're weighing it up and. just getting the measure of people I. suppose and then it starts that's. roughly a. 5% success rate I believe so that's what. it should be how many people came out. with you oh we had a had a quite a big. course so it must have been easy so it's. I think 18 18 came out yeah.

nice at what point do you figure out if. you're going SAS or S SPS beforehand. before so you know what you're trying. out for beforehand they don't they don't. they don't put you into a box and say. you had actually be better in the S SPS. and you it's um that's that's you put in. for um for service in the SS they that. may have changed now I'm not sure I'm. out of the loop at somewhat but so what. what happens if they have a class where. everybody wants to go SAS.

that's there's been courses where just. one person has. passed two people I think was one you. know so it's like yeah interesting well. how do they fill. billets that could be a potential. problem is I've I'm I'm can I'm I'm out. of the loop now so the big problem is is. we have a lot of. people I think people are leaving now. because of the war and Terror finished. so so there's tends to be people leaving. and sometimes the more people are. leaving than coming in is it and you.

know it's really it's really interesting. just to see it's we're going to go off. on a tangent here so get ready but it's. really interesting to me to watch. Special Operations the tip of the spear. globally just diminish and vanish into. I feel like it's going to vanish into. nothing you know the the Canadian guys. have you ever worked with them the. canoff um I've got some friends guys I.

mean recruitment numbers way down way. completely demoralize the unit I. interviewed this guy Dallas Alexander I. know D he's a friend of mine no kid you. guys know each other yeah well damn I. wanted to connect you but so much for. that yeah we yeah we met up uh recently. at the uh we supporting Frontline. healing foundation and he was playing. his stuff that's the first time we met. oh cool and but we talked to each other. before and like so was like for he real.

great guy I love that guy man salt of. the earth like just that's what I keep. saying to him though was remember me. when you super famous remember me. remember me when you when you cuz he is. good and this is not a. Shameless what do you call like a plug. for him he is I said you are you're. waiting to. yeah this this yeah yeah he's he's his. some of his tracks are like good but. their numbers are. down British Special Forces numbers are.

down American Special Forces numbers are. down nobody's signing up for this I feel. like the special operator is becoming. obsolete do you do you feel like that I. feel like Warfare is. evolving and. the special operator is is is being. phased out I I would say I think it's. more of the eban flow of society and the.

military you know and some things are. popular some things aren't popular and. it's just. this um and I I I don't I can't really. speak on behalf of UK Special Forces. because like I say I'm out the loop so I. don't know how their recruiting is and. how the retention is but I've heard it's. not good but that might be not might be. wrong but it's this EB and Flo like. right now they're not they're not like. 10 years ago that they were the they. were the the The Pick of the lit mhm now.

maybe like things are focusing elsewhere. or who knows in and and like I say just. an ebb and flow and and it's usually if. something happens to then oh we need to. make this a priority again yeah so I. think it's it's a real shame to just. watch all the experience disappear you. know you know. because when the next one you know when. the next War comes up that that. experience all of that experience will.

be gone because they've demoralized the. unit the units plural I think part of. the problem with with just it's not this. is not focused to Special Forces is when. you. have. leadership. who look to the the the political side. of things and try and please their. political Masters and like instead of. like the focus of supporting the Army. they're just looking for the next gig.

probably and to be popular with the with. their political Masters and you know. they to know so that's why everything's. all this corporate knowledge is just. lost yeah all the skill sets they don't. care because it's like a black mark I. was in the I was served in Iraq and. Afghanistan and people might say oh we. don't talk about that we don't want to. know what you did yeah we don't want to. know that and rather than saying right. what did you what did you actually learn. what did what was some of the points so. we know now we've got a whole generation. potentially of instructors who haven't. been in a you haven't done like fob life.

you you know like from an this is. speaking from a a green army point of. view all these guys who served in fobs. and leaders and things and now they've. gone and now there might be another. generation who they didn't pass that on. to cuz they need that information didn't. no one decided to capture it it's. it's not only do they not decide to cap. capture it theyve they have. ostracized The Experience from some of. the units Dallas is a perfect example I.

mean the the man was on a what fourman. sniper team that has the longest sniper. kill yeah in the history of the world. and they ostracized him from the unit. they flushed that experience down the. [ __ ] toilet there there is an element. isn't there we've covered this and it's. first time I've seen it is the um. veterans it didn't matter what say don't. like success they don't like good things. yeah someone takes a longer sniper sh I.

mean with what with what you were. involved in in Nairobi and all the. experience that were that we don't even. know about I mean they. have we look at the experience you have. to pass on to the Future generations of. SAS and they [ __ ] flush that down the. toilet it is it's it's. it's. disgusting you know you you you could. have imparted a lot more wisdom than you.

have on that unit and I'm sure you would. have. been so after I I am on good terms with. with my with with 22ss you are at this. moment in time um I'm on good good terms. I um and I I there's a whole load of. reasons why I retired I didn't retire. bitter I I did I did have some. grievances with some leadership members. and I felt that I they were jealous of. what I did or they were getting pressure.

from outside of the regiment um but it. was more of timing thing I did 28 years. and and and things so I I left the SAS. extremely proud that I'd served in that. unit MH and I was on Camp just uh about. 3 weeks ago talking with the commands. arm major and um so so so and and like. said hey I'm friendly forces and you. know and um like I said to him I'm not. I'm not bitter towards the regiment I'm. bitter towards the British government.

I'm British towards the ministry of. defense and I'm British towards some. personalities of leadership at who were. in command in 2019 2020 that's that's my. that's my issue and it's all personal. stuff it's not but but as a as a as a. um yeah I I'm super proud of the SS and. I would always support them if I could. mhm um it but but there to your point is. it's not just me there's lots of men. with lots of experience and once you're. out they're don't care they're not.

saying they're not calling people back. or saying what do you think about this. not saying I mean I get messages from. operators saying hey I'm looking at this. weapon scope what do you think on it. what we looking about doing this sort of. drill for hostage rescue what do you. think and I'm like all right okay well. well you know they did and that's what. comes back to you on this on the of. support um maybe we'll touch on it later. but that's one thing I'm extremely. grateful for is that I've had nothing. but support.

from members of members and peers of the. scas not just the guys I served with but. the older generation have all supported. me and now the future generation they're. coming up to me when they seem in herant. say you don't know who I am but I'm. actually I'm me whatever Squadron you. inspired me to join the join the join. the SCS thanks and the guys all send the. regard and stuff and it's not just about. what I did that day they're actually. talking. about social. media um the potential book which.

probably isn't going to come out but the. book that's been written um that this. say this is a story that needs to be. told and we'll we'll touch on that in in. a bit anyway but it's good to get you. know it's good to get support from your. peers yeah and let's talk about the. culture within that unit let's talk. about the the just the culture what. daily life is like is an sas operator so. what do I mean by the culture I mean how. are you received when you make it.

through selection and you get to your I. think again I kind of don't want to. really talk much about this it's. everyone's just driven and they're. working towards whatever the mission at. hand is that's it that's it yeah that's. all I'm going to say on that every. squadron's different every team's. different the best way to round it all. off is everyone in that now everyone The. Driven professionals working towards. whatever mission is their. focus that's that's that's what it is. across the board.

okay well we will scoot past SAS into 15. January 2019 Nairobi Kenya five. terrorists from al-shabab Somalia it was. a 19-hour gunfight standoff evacuated. approximately 700 civilians there were. 21 casualties 28 wounded 19 kenyons one. American one. British was at the duset D2 luxury hotel.

in 14 Riverside. Plaza in nairobi's affluent Westgate. neighborhood let's talk about that. date so how did that day. start so that that day um just before we. go into it and people set up and the. internet itself people know about it am. I going to talk about that incident not.

really I'm going to talk around it and. I'm going to mention it but I'm not. going to talk about what I did and what. happened that day just so we're clear. just so people are aware of this but. it's a remarkable day and a remarkable. story and it starts the day started in. an unusual way. so I I did my own little bit of training. that that morning just by myself and I. was training out in in the in a rural. area and didn't finish my day's training.

or my morning's training it was early. start and I'm driving back to the city. I'm driving down the road and as I pull. onto what I would call the main but it's. just a dirt track leading into the city. I pull on and on this dirt track you. sometimes see a Massy tribesman walking. down it you sometimes see workmen. uh who are working on the Chinese real. circuit in in in Kenya but you don't. really see many people on this dirt. track because to walk from where I.

pulled onto the road to the nearest. Village would probably take you a good 3. hours. plus and it's a dir track so I pull onto. this as I pull onto this. track I'm kind of taking off guard. because I see this guy walking down the. road and he's dressed a short black guy. rounded black guy. um wearing a business suit Immaculate. business suit and highly polished. shoes and then something I do something.

strange I do something that I shouldn't. have. done just common sense nothing to do. with drills. procedures I stopped the stopped my. vehicle put the window down and say hey. hey buddy do you want to lift something. compelled me to pick him up to say do. you want to lift and why why I did that. you know I would not have normally done. that and but something compelled me to. do. that so he big smile and he runs over. and gets into the car uh start driving.

off and he's like what's your thank you. so much for this what's your name I'm. like it's Chris and he's like tells me. his name and then he looks says how old. are you so I'm time like 43 goes I'm 43. CU When were you born I said September. so I was born September what day were. you born and I said 15th he's like I. don't know what day I was born but this. is a good sign because that means in. September.

1975 Chris and his name were both born. and he Chuckles he's like he says some. other stuff I can't really recall. driving a bit further and then he. reaches into his. pocket my internal Spider Sense is not. trigger triggered here I'm don't feel. threatened or anything don't feel and he. pulls out this big like dagger and it's. an odd dagger and what was I found was. odd was curved but the you had to double. tip so two tips at the end which I've.

never seen and he and and I and I just. smile and say you're not going to try. and kill me with that are you and he's. like no no I'm not going to kill you. this is uh I carry this when I'm. traveling on this road in case I come. across any demons or evil spirits it. comes in very handy and he tickles to. himself and puts it. away so then moving on and I turn as i i. t judging how you're dressed I take it. you're going into the City and he's like. no no no no please just drop me off at. the first Village we come to and I said.

oh we're reporting one now and it it's. an African village so it's it's a. African village like and um and I'm with. this Village he's like yes yes but don't. don't take me into the village drop me. just off outside so okay so um as we. come to a stop who opens the. door and then as his foot hits the. ground so something happens his foot. hits to the ground and his face. changes when I say changes it's still. the same man but it's a bit like if I.

was you know when someone offends you. and you P the face like like you you. from going from smiling you'd be like Oh. serious like what his face. changed and then he said Chris and when. he said. Chris I felt it in my. heart it like it it it wasn't loud but. it was loud was Stern it was it was like. it wasn't it wasn't like didn't shut CHR. but it was he could. have like and it's hard to explain it.

wasn't loud but it was loud it wasn't. loud but it was deafening it's like. Chris may God bless you many times this. day and then like that his face was. snapped out of it and he's like thank. you thank you thanks thanks thanks back. in his normal voice normal face and he. closed the door and I drove. off and I got about 150 yards down the. road I couldn't see him again I think he. might have just gone into a into a a. house or Hood whatever and I I kind of.

thought that was that was. odd but 30 hours later after the most. remarkable day of my life I came to. think about it a lot. more what happened well then a few hours. later uh five terrorists attacked the. Duit D2 Hotel complex five hours there. so but everything the strange thing not. the strange thing but traditionally I'm. I would see myself as unlucky and if. someone had said this is going to happen.

on your watch I'd normally say well I'm. probably going to be on leave somewhere. else not available don't hear about it. but from the moment I dropped that man. off and he said may God bless you many. times this day. everything was perfect I got my haircut. I went and got my haircut after that had. a haircut and then had lunch I then go. home had a. shower. and again I'm not going to go into.

detail of the incident but every second. counted and if anything then was off. everything was just perfect and then the. whole and then not only perfect then but. the whole everything else was just like. yeah what were you doing when the. incident kicked off I I just got out the. shower how did you hear about it a. friend of mine who was in the complex. called. me and was like Chris there's a complex. attack going on I'm not armed I'm laying. low in my office you got to come down.

here I said I'm on my way I didn't know. where it was um I'd never been there. before put it in my sa and went and. responded now from what I understand you. were told to stand down and not enter no. that's not true no I uh I didn't no I. just the difference is I had no. Authority so no one had told me to go. and no one told me not to.

go did you feel compelled to go yeah. yeah did anybody go with you not. initially but that's uh again we're. going into this gray area now with what. I can say can't say but the bottom line. is I turned. up with a view to doing something. else and people were being murdered and. I heard. it I heard a woman I heard gunfire.

grenades going off I. asked and I assumed that was people. dealing with the. terrorists and I was like Hey special. forces in there police in there and the. skew guard no one's there no one's here. yet no one's in there around about that. same time I heard a woman I heard a. woman scream and then I heard gunfire. and that could the scream off and I. realized that woman just been murdered. or someone just been shot and I was like. right I'm going. in and then the rest history and not not.

not really up for discussion at this. point can I ask you yes or no questions. you can ask me and I'll just maybe see. if I can't comment I won't comment I'll. say no. comment did you engage anybody when you. entered the building. did you personally. save anybody from that.

building I think this video evidence of. someone who looks like me doing stuff. like. that how many people did that individual. that looks like he save um allegedly. people say. 700 um that's 700 that's what people. have said that I'm responsible for. saving that. day and I I don't think I'm going into. any any like legal area here but I I. mean May from the from the view of the.

mod they might be like s sharpening. their knes right now for what I've said. not said but. um you know I I I went in Alan but then. it became a team. effort with with some remarkable. individuals. kenyons yes yes. how uncomfortable are you right now. pretty. uncomfortable so is there anything you. want me to ask.

you no I mean we can just talk about. again I think the whole incident people. can say and the only thing that I can. add to the incident is like things that. I did inside there and things that. happened and I can and and people have. got good imagination so you can imagine. what happened inside there so I don't. need to I don't need to upset people and. break any kind of rules but um yeah I. that incident happened and then I and. then I finished the next day and I and I. was there throughout um and I'm just not.

going to say about what I what I did. exactly people can probably work it out. um but it was the most remarkable day of. my life and I've done I've done close to. a thousand door kicking missions and um. there's nothing was ever like that day. nothing and we talk people talk about. Flow State and whether it be training I. still do CQB today and you still enter. that flow St when you cross the. threshold whatever that be whether it be. sky diving whether it be a CQB whether.

it be some sort of sporting. event there's you know when you get. dialed in and you you like like it's. on that. day. is I unlocked some sort of superpower on. that day when I crossed that threshold. or whatever that point. was it felt like it could say further I. could hear things I could move faster I. was Stronger my mental agility I really.

unlocked this like floor state which was. like I'd have similar incidents before. my military career but on that. day if you could bottle that I'm I keep. meaning to talk to Red Bull I I'm in. contact with with Red Bull about Flow. State and and things oh that's what. my I haven't really talk to them about. just made the made the introduction but. if you could bottle that or you could. tap into that at. will then that's something.

to that would CH as a warrior you could. do remarkable things or sports or an. athlete or whoever but when that I. thought I tapped into true floor State. before that but once that day was like. yeah that's what it's like to be on on. fire to. be when they say dialed in yeah I was I. was working hard. what ended. it what ended the. incident when did you know it was.

finished um I supposed when all threats. neutralized. so how long did they. take um that was uh the whole uh. incident ended the following. morning was about 18 hours uh yeah I. think from suicide detonation to. building clean secure was about 18.

hours and then and then I went home for. a cup of well I didn't go home actually. but I did some bits and pieces and then. eventually I went home for a cup of tea. what what did you do after after the. dust had settled after the last threat. was. neutralized I can't really talk about. well you know again that's still that's. still in the theory of of what happened. that day again I don't know how what was. your emotional algorithm buzzing uh and.

then I went there something happened. afterwards and. like I'm not going talk about and things. happen and then I go back home so I get. home in the afternoon and um let's just. talk about your emotions I'm not asking. about actions on OB on objective I'm. asking about what's going on up here I'm. like how are you processing what just. happened I'm still like zero laser like. laser focused sort of on high and a. friend of mine the Padre came out to um.

see me a few days later and he said you. could feel it you could feel it around. you you could feel this buzz off you. still days after the event and you were. like. yeah you could feel this energy coming. off you and and I didn't sleep well for. days afterwards it was still bodies just. processing still running on. adrenaline um and then the this the. thing we're feeling is like dialed in. and. then um when I I went home went went to.

the house and my houseand had a shower. put a Kiko on which is like a song when. you say home are you talking UK or are. you talking talk in Kenya where I was. living and uh make a cup of tea turn on. the TV I'm on the Sky. News put on I put at the my iTunes on. shuffle nxs starts playing a song that I. had I'm a big fan of nxs but never heard.

this song it's called searching and like. lyrics is I am searching I am not alone. and stuff like that and I'm just like. that's when it hits me that's when. that's when I'm like my eyes well up and. I'm like what just happened what just. happened like it hadn't really sunk in. mhm and then for a few few days after I. kept on bursting into tears like. bursting out. crying and it wasn't anything wasn't. trigger it wasn't things that were. triggering me I didn't and I asked the. doctor about this I said Doctor I'm like.

I keep on bursting into tears said but. the strange thing is I'm not being. triggered I'm not like hearing something. and or saying something and it's. triggering me I feel fine I feel. absolutely fine and then all of a sudden. without being a control I'm like like. start crying I said what what the hell's. going on cuz I feel fine and he's like. it's an he this doctor was like it's an. adrenaline dump he goes you just got you. just pumped all this adrenaline You'. been through a traumatic experience and. this is like this is like a release. thing and that was a strange thing it.

was like I say it wasn't triggered I. didn't hear a sad song or I didn't see. something it was just like driving along. and all of a sudden like like what's. this come from it's like MH like a kind. of diarrhea for crying was just like oh. no I can't stop it and then I just like. start crying and eventually it stopped. that was a interesting thing that I've. never experienced before what was the. thought process going through your head. when you had noticed that you were on. all of the news channels and that. somebody had captured you entering that. yeah again it didn't really sink in very.

well didn't it was just. like in some ways it's still hasn't. you're in a trance yeah like in some. ways I still still feel that. way that did did it really happen I. don't know yeah it did obviously but I. do do know but do you keep in touch with. anybody that was in that building yes. yeah who was that uh Millie she the. American um American lady who is in a in. in a room. there um she wrote the book terorist.

attack girl. so and uh I keep in touch with some. other people connected to the. incident what's it like to hear from the. woman that wrote that book I mean um. yeah it's I I love I love m a bit she. like um um and her book is amazing. terrorist attack again not a Shameless. um Dr or whatever you call it plug her. book is really good she she suffered.

immensely after that incident. PTSD and she's one of the most. remarkable human beings I've ever met. super intelligent super motivated super. like brilliant and. she dealt with a PTSD but not only dealt. with it then said how do I help other. people with. PTSD in holders and um she's the her. book's really interesting really well. well written. to fascinating read do you guys discuss.

the incident often together not often. but when I first met her I met her in uh. DC in. um end of. 2019 uh and um yeah we we just discuss. things and and for her it was to put. like cuz she heard things that were. going on and and I said that's because. at that point I would have been doing. this and she that explains what that. noise was and all this was happening and. cuz she was hiding in her room and she.

had no idea what was going on but she's. hearing all these noises and things. going on so I helped her she'd already. dealt um really well with the ptsc but I. like helped put fill in some gaps and. and bits and piece of what what what was. happening that day that she hadn't been. told or she didn't know how how did it. feel when you saw her for the first time. yeah I was it was emotional it was. emotional yeah was it for her as well. yeah yes what was some of the third. things that were said I I don't know I.

think she just said thank you I can't. not but we talked. about. yeah but I can't really I can't tell the. story of how I met a husband that is. remarkable story I can't tell it but. it's it's strange how everything. surrounded this incident is. but it was a strange way of how I met a. husband. so yeah it's uh it's hard to dance. around this topic there's so much that.

you can't talk about so. but what. point did you recall the man that you. picked up on the road that day when did. that connection get made he said what. did he say oh yeah God bless you you're. going to it today like Chris may God. bless you many times this day when did. that come back into your head were you. in the building or was this days later. it was no that it was that that the.

morning after that yeah came to me it. came to me before I left the the complex. how did that feel again it's this again. compared in I've got all this emotion. going on all this like buzz so it was. like lost in all that mhm but but when. you did feel it yeah yeah or when it did. come back into your. head yeah what was that emotion again. another one of those did that really. happen did that how did that happen.

that's. just my you know I don't like I'm going. to I'm going to I'm going to spoon feed. you. all and. say sometimes I think was he an. angel Maybe. maybe. not was he delivering a message from God. yes yes he. was.

and there's that's all I've got to say. is it's not all I've got to say I've got. a lot to say about it but it's like. maybe sometimes gods. angels like God or Angels should um use. people you know sometimes someone might. say something to you and they're like. might be a stranger might someone you. love you like you know it's like a. message mhm and that was a message that. was a message that that was a message. that moment you know whether that guy is.

a real. person fine but like I said his face. changed his voice like say it was quiet. but. deafening that he was delivering a. message from God or from an angel saying. may God bless you many times this day. man that's incredible that is really. incredible some people out there going. to say oh it's just a strange a. coincidential meeting between two. strangers who gives a [ __ ] what people. say but it's that but that that's my. that's my theory it could have been an.

angel manifested as a human what do you. think it. was I I think it's a a human delivering. like a. message like he didn't did he know he. said it maybe maybe not it's just but. the whole thing was just using it as. a you like a moment of possession or do. you think he was an angel or not. no I think that's the thing is I think. is I think he was a physical human being. but he was delivering a message from an. angel okay then as in he was like what.

do you call it what if you want to call. it possession or if you want but he was. at that moment that wasn't him. speaking do you feel you were alone in. that building no did you feel it when it. was happening sorry did you. feel like somebody was with you like God. was with you in that building as it was. happening. man. but again without talking about the.

incident in general one of the like I've. said this at the start of. this interview is. that I'm super. like privileged or blessed that the. incident kind of. happened in a in a purely selfish way. that people live their whole lives. without not without mean like not. meaning but they they do good things not. good things whatever and then they die.

and we're always trying to make sense of. stuff and. meaning and that was the thing for me up. to that point in life and my life isn't. over yet but that made sense of. everything that had bad that had. happened to me whether it be career. moments where I thought I should have. done better in my career and thought I. was it was unjust or something happened. or I didn't get sent somewhere I didn't. do something I didn't picked for a. certain team or. whatever all that made sense all of it.

was like thank you and every night I. pray I pray about I thank thank God for. all the bad things that happened to me. for all the things that at the time I. thought were unjust or unfair cuz now I. realized now I realized that they had to. happen to to put me there that day yeah. and and I asked to see the like the. Signs Now like you know when things are. going really bad it's like it's very. hard to do and again it's it's like and.

everyone knows you when people say. things happen for a reason it's really a. patronizing thing to say but they kind. of do happen for a reason and I I give a. presentation to um the officer Academy. Sandhurst I did a large brief but first. first hand the first time I did the. presentation about Kenya I did um I. brief the uh like they've got a patoon. which all the. wounded uh students go to and they do. rehab and then once they're fixed they. go back into. training and uh and I give them a pres I.

give them the presentation at the end of. it onto this line about you know. everything I happened that was bad. happened to me to put me there and I. said right now you guys in this room are. kind of like don't feel good because. you're looking out the window and you're. injured and you see guys who you were. girls and guys who you were in training. with are now graduating and you're still. stuck here and they're going to be. officers in the Army said but just. remember this right now in this audience. there may be the chief of general staff.

the head of the Armed Forces there could. be the commander of the SCS there could. be the director of Special Forces sat in. this audience right now and the only. reason why that's going to happen is. because you were injured. now. so remember that in the future when. you're the head of the army and that. sort of hit some of yeah where did you. go after the incident after you left. Kenya where did you go um you go back to.

UK back to UK eventually and how were. you received yeah it was amazing it was. amazing like and it still is today the. my peers uh everyone was like it and. this is the odd thing you know people if. you don't know in the military normally. even if you do something good even inly. they'll like give you a bad time they be. oh I can't believe you wearing armanii. jeans or you were doing this and no this. was strange this was like everyone was. like e even people who I respect for.

this guy saying I didn't see eye to ey. with you in the past you know I don't. want say were friends but I'm proud to. know. you and that was to me was like yeah. that that took that took balls to say. that the guy who said that was a good. guy he was on selection with I respect. that see yeah I wasn't your friend I. didn't really like you but I'm proud I'm. proud that I know you and people sit. still to the stage stopping cars getting. an on shaking my hand and and the oddest. thing was the it was the old the old God.

guys who were in The SCS in the 80s. before the 80s and '90s and I thought. they'd be critical and not only they're. positive. about you're a great Ambassador for the. SCS what you did is Def. is. is like is the epitome of what the SAS. is supposed to be about they're saying. that and I'm like and then and then and. then they're ring in about social media. yeah my my daughter my son follows you. on social media and it's great what you. do we're really proud of you just keep.

doing it keep being a good Ambassador. for the regimen so that's always good. and and the thing with the book the book. one man in I wrote it they originally. told me I could write a book then that. changed I tried to clear it I it didn't. get released I took it to court lost. that I'm trying to appeal. that the bottom line is it's highly. unlikely that anyone's going to read one. man in anytime soon but even if I lose. the appeal people change policies. change positions change it people don't.

realize what's happening so we have to. go into that they don't realize that. it's in. court yeah it's been to court and fail. and uh so I wrote a book called one man. in I I I did ask before I retired could. I write a book about the incident and. they said yes work with disclosure I. with disclosure and then there was a. change of mind somewhere along the line. and then they said I couldn't I then. tried to make redactions they weren't. interested whatsoever and then so I took. it for a judicial review lost the.

judicial review and now I'm appealing. the judicial review it's highly unlikely. that I'm going to win any appeal why do. you think they're trying to suppress the. story I can't I I there's a there's a. public here like ruling out there they. can read it. it's the what else say about the. incident is I've just said about my. peers and members of the sces and public. got nothing but support for. me but the in my opinion there's a lot.

of people The Establishment did not like. what I did that day they did not like. what I. did and it's maybe is it personal. towards Chris. Craighead maybe maybe not but it's. definitely personal to what Chris. Craighead. represents which is one one. man not. not showing no compromise standing up to. e. evil taking on evil head on without.

permission and putting everything on the. line and that's the nature of Special. Forces operations I thought was high. it's a high stakes game I didn't just. risk my. life because if that had been a failure. I would have been the scape so I RIS my. my my my my physical life and my life in. general I risked everything and I didn't. want anything for it I just people were. people were people were people were.

being murdered and no one was doing. anything so I did something and people. don't like. that and here's the thing so from a good. example is a senior member of the. British. military I said. Christian Craighead is a bad example to. young soldiers because his mutineer. attitude promotes lawlessness in the. military.

and clearly that's a um someone said I. heard that from five different people. five independent sources and I'm not. going to pinpoint the exact person who. said that because the five people who. told me they said three people said one. person and uh two people said another so. but there similar job so it was just a. mixup of abbreviations but but yeah. senior member of the British milit. that's what that's the his. view it's been I've also heard of people. in the foreign office saying oh Chris.

CAD he shouldn't have done that thing in. Kenya there's lots of people in the. foreign off who completely really. support me support me uh big in a big. way but there's also members senior. members of the front office and he. shouldn't have done that he could have. he could have messed everything up how's. that how could you have messed yeah. because if I had filed it would have. been potentially they could have said. well it's all filled because of that man. so I would have been the scapegoat and. it would have looked bad for everyone. else but that's it and these people like.

these generals and these um politicians. and these other people who've never. said no one no one's took me and said. thanks for what you did not not one. British high ranking official not one. British high ranking official got a nice. letter from the government official. straight after the incident and a phone. call but he got his fingers wrapped for. that he's no longer minister or he is a. minister but he's not in Parliament or. whatever he's not you saved 700 people. that day and they're treating you like.

you need to be punished and it was the. um and I what I want to say to people is. the last time I [ __ ]. checked the motto of two 22ss is who. dares wins not who asks for permission. wins people need to remember remember. that but um yeah. um but. then president. Trump I got to had them EXT privileged.

to meet the president of the United. States of America you got to beat this. is after the incident yeah how long. after uh. um uh 10 months after 10 months yeah why. were you here so um so before we go into. the meeting the the president of the. United States of America there's a. reason why I said the president of the. United States of America is to everyone.

watching this can we just leave these. like the personal. like this was President. trump it doesn't matter that it was. President Trump he was the president of. the United States of America I was a a a. guy a young boy who was D a hand in life. destined to fail born in a council house. single parent at that time in a poor. area with no particularly good skill set.

yet 43 years later I'm I'm in the white. house this is a good story it's it's not. a it's not a political message it's it's. my life story it's it's a story of my. life of me meeting the president so now. we're going to continue um just um just. for anyone who's going to get triggered. um um so yeah I was going to um I was in. the United States to brief to brief a. military unit about what I did in Africa. in Kenya and uh a friend of mine the.

friend of a friend was like speaking to. the Secret Service the Secret Service. was super Keen to talk to me because. they wanted to know about hotels and. lessons that I learned and things that. they could use and so they said could. you when you on your way to um to do. this presentation could you and just. give us some of our team leaders and. some of our senior members want to talk. to you and ask you some questions about. the incident and I said yeah AB. absolutely uh and then about not long. about a week or two before I'm supposed.

to go there I get a phone call from the. guy who's hosting me and he said have. you ever been to the White House I'm. like no he goes well bring a suit cuz. when you once you do your once you talk. to our guys we'd love to take you to the. White House and give you a tour of the. White House and show you around I'm oh. that's really nice look forward to it. that's that. so the day comes I'm speaking to the. secret service and then we get changed. meanwhile in the White House in the West. Wing Shayla Craighead is the Director of.

Photography and she's got a she's she's. on the got she's got a finger on the. pulse she's connected to everyone and. she's move she's the Mover she's one of. the movers and shakers In The West Wing. and she knows she knows my story I. didn't know Shayla Craighead at that. time but she's been told by the Secret. Service this guy's coming. and so the she then speaks to uh the. vice president team and said just so. it's on your radar there's this guy who.

can remember that guy who did this thing. and they like yeah well he's coming to. the White House today just so you know. and then. okay and then and she and and she speaks. to the National Security advisers people. as well just say just so you know and. they go oh that's good they then speak. to their respective bosses and as we're. on Route into the White House the Secret. Service get a phone call and they say oh. the the vice. president uh Mike Pence wants to chat. with Chris Craighead and they're like. all right you got to go and see the the.

vice president so I'm like okay I. haven't got my phone so I can't ask for. permission not that I would anyway but. um so then go and meet Mike Pence see. him have a quick chat and then carry on. with the two of The White. House um Mike Pence I believe men. mentioned to the National Security. adviser Ambassador Robert O'Brien and. says hey that guy Chris craige. head um is in in is in the White House.

and uh the NSA is like I I want to I. need definitely want to speak to him so. the Secret Service got a phone call. again you got to bring him back into the. West Wing Ambassador O'Brien wanted to. speak to him so then they send me into. Ambassador Brian what a great. guy super um bright but the good good. thing the great thing about Ambassador. Robert O'Brien is not only is he bright. but he's super pleasant as well so. he's again laser I keep on saying laser. focused laser focused you loads as a.

national security adviser should do you. was talking to me about situations going. on what do you think about this what was. your what was the issue with here there. then so had a really good chat with him. for about I think it about 45 minutes. which is um some going for a man of who. I am to speak to someone like that in. the White House and the busy people and. then he's like he talking and he's like. have you uh have you spoke to porus yet. and I'm like so that's the president of. the United States and I'm like no he.

goes well I know he wants to chat to you. right let's go and I'm like it's a. whirlwind it's this is like a whirlwind. so he stands up come on let's go out. through the Secret Service like oh Chris. this way and he's like no B Bri no no no. we we're just going to see Porters and. they're like all right this is this is. getting. big so so then we we move through um. pass the. receptionist and then they say just wait. in here so I'm in this room and they say.

just wait here and they go into another. door and I can hear voices inside so. inside now the there would be um there's. basically that room is the the. president's private study and I'm in. this room just kicking my heels by. myself and as I said to you last night I. think it's I've got this the dubious. honor of being the only person who's. been in the Oval Office who didn't know. he was in the Oval Office so so I'm in. the Oval Office and don't realize I'm in. the Oval Office by myself um he the door.

opens I hear some talking and stuff and. then uh uh and in there is uh and then I. walk in and I'm met by President. Trump and uh and. he um looks at me walks over put his. hand out and the first thing he says to. me is thank you for saving American. lives is that the first person that. thanked you from a high ranking. government.

position uh. yes well no in person yes immediately. after the incident um there was a a. government Minister from UK sent me form. me up and sent me a. letter that was that was it nobody from. your own country no personally came up. to people from the Army to thank you for. what you did people from the army people. from um like members of the military.

members of um any any of the Diplomat in. Kenya did but no one outside that and no. one no one ever has since either wow and. um but president Trump um he was thank. you for saving American lives. which if you don't you can we and we. chatted about a lot of other stuff but. if you think you know if you just park. all your opinion or whatever think about. that I I went into that private study.

there was no media there there was the. British government didn't know about it. so in theory there's absolutely no gain. whatsoever for the president no gain at. all mhm but he took time. out to thank me for saving Americans. something to think about something to. acknowledge I'd. say um yeah and then and then and then. we left and then I got shown the round.

the overal office by Ambassador um. O'Brien and things and and then and then. uh and then that was that was that that. was that it was a like. a strange strange days I say. there um wasn't very well received from. the Brit to the British government they. found out about it yeah I I I I um so I. give uh president Trump a a coin a. challenge coin and I got a trump a.

president. coin so I was calling the guys up saying. hey just so I I can't you can't believe. this I met the President yesterday and. give him a coin and they're like oh. that's awesome and then some some s. someone said have you told the. commanding officer I went no probably. should do and then uh and that's what I. thought and I told them basically long. story short I told them and all hell. broke. loose um the big thing I'm not giving. them a free pass but from a foreign. office point of view is like a huge. breach of.

protocol my argument. is I didn't have any saying it and I'm. certainly not going to say hey the. president wants to see you and you go no. I've got to ask permission first it's a. bit of a pan forming here but um but. yeah I didn't I'm not going to say so I. was I have to go with the floor but. apparently they're still not happy about. it today and you know I'm sure there'll. be some backlash from what I'm saying. this now I mean don't know how so the. who who was upset the the foreign office. and then and I think they I think it's.

the whole big the foreign office is. upset that the president of the United. States thank you it's because I broke up. it's it's like the briak the bridge of. protocol it's like what we said people. don't like successful things certain. officers of the time of that command in. my unit didn't like it maybe because. they got [ __ ] from the POR office who. knows. uh they're not there anymore but um yeah. so that was that was it and then what I. be hold.

on what's that conversation like yeah. hey you just saved 700 people in Kenya. from being murdered and the president of. the United States just said thank you. for saving American. lives how do you turn that into a. negative. but apparently just so you know is they. think. about this was the statement I make and.

if anyone's watching like like I'm not. going to obviously say who said it but. this was said to me over the phone when. I was in America was you've. undermined the um the SAS the Army uh. the government and the country. so I can't even imagine the amount of. Rage that faster but I'm going to.

reiterate something I have got no issue. with my old unit the SCS I'm super proud. to be there but I have got issues with. elements of the government the M mod and. previous and some ex command members of. the uh of the. unit um but that's and then but it gets. it gets better or worse and. then this is this so this this story. will evolve into a few about a month. later is I'm back in London so I'm back.

in back in London I'm still living in. Harford and uh it's Christmas Christmas. time and um this is kind of I think the. final straw for where where Chris CAD. sits in the British army but. um uh like I say I'm not bitter or. anything it's just it's just this is a. good good story. um so I'm in London get a phone call. with held number I think it's work I'm. like. hello yeah this is the special assistant.

to the um US ambassador ambassador to um. UK um Can he's on the line waiting to. talk to you can you take a call I'm like. yeah so I answer the call and he's like. hey hey Chris this is Woody Johnson um. I've just been speaking to poris about. you he says you're you're a good. stand-up guy um I'd love to I'd love to. meet you for coffee or you I know you're. in London so do you want to come and um. do you want to come around for a coffee.

like now I'll hold all my meetings I'm. like yes yes Mr ambassa I'm on my way so. I was like okay so I then went back to. the shop I just walked out of and put my. shopping behind and see you don't you. couldn't give me a fa I couldn't leave. these here I've got to do something so. I'm like yeah so getting a taxi felt. like being in a movie I'm getting the. taxi take me to the US Embassy and and. then we go to so we go to the uh drive. to the Embassy people are waiting for me. straight up to the embassador. office and then there's Ambassador um.

Woody Johnson he's like hey great to. meet you and uh so we then have a CH. have a cup of coffee um great guy really. interesting things to say asking me. questions it's it's. fun I'm then about to leave and he says. hey uh I've got something to ask you. okay he goes I'm I'm having drinks. around my house tonight I would love you. to come around and I'm like I'm like. yeah Mr ambass I'm just in town doing. some shopping this I'm wearing um I'm.

wearing. jeans um a turtleneck sweater and a PE. so I so I look like an assassin so I. look like and uh and uh look and I'm. like this is the only clothes I've got. and he goes no it's my part you just. come people will just be wearing um. suits anyway so just come around it's. it's my pie I'm like well I goes I when. I saw when I said to be honest Mr. Ambassador when I saw president Trump I.

gotten a lot of hot water for this so. it's kind of going to happen again if I. do it went sort it out whatever you need. my assistant to do will make will make. it happen and. um uh so I'm like okay then says and. there's one more. thing I'd love for you to um usually I I. as the US Representative I say something. to all my to all the all the people here. I'd love for you to say something on. behalf of Great Britain and I'm.

like so can you can you put together. with my assistant a 3 to five minute. presentation on what you did why you did. it and what the special relationship. means to. you right okay so it's. like um so then iPhone work speak to. whoever and they're like yeah you got to. speak to the commander Commander's like. yep he actually says yeah who does wins. go do. it fine so then.

um speak to them it's all set so I'm now. feel a bit better that at least my unit. all this. time. um and then um so then I go and get my. shopping this is about 4:30 in the. afternoon by the way and this event is. happening at 6:30 so in my mind I'm. putting together this presid. presentation just like so then go go to. this Bell staff get my uh gear turn up. with the ambassador's residence for my. shopping and they let me in and then.

basically then they're saying when the. all the guests are turning up the uh I'm. stood next to the Ambassador and and his. beautiful wife dressed like an they must. have thought I'm some CIA Hitman or. something he's like he say muscle or. something um but and then there was lots. of like powerful people. including um government ministers and. and and such I obviously uh obviously. nothing's obvious but I won't say any. names or who was there but it was when I. looked at the guest list I was like uh.

okay yeah feeling pretty uncomfortable. now um so there was the it was the yeah. the high. society and uh so then they're they're. all there mingling there about I'm sure. it's about 150 200 people he's got and. uh they said the the Ambassador is going. to give his bit you then give your bit. and then kind of if you want like Raise. Your Glass and take a drink and stuff. like okay so he's he's doing his talk.

and I'm like going through my. presentation it's like it's like the. Matrix going on inside my mind I'm going. I'm go say this this so he then hands me. a mic and I didn't know it was going to. be a mic but then I go into my. presentation and it's going well do you. know when you when you when you giving. this talk and don't you think this is. I'm on fire I'm good and and and can see. the emotion of theow you see people. responding and stuff and it was good so. then I finish and at the end I'm like.

messing around with the mic to try and. put the mic back down and grab my drink. everyone starts clapping and applauding. me I'm like oh God I was supposed to do. like a drink I don't know where it came. from but it was like spur of the moment. I've got quite a loud voice and when. I've got it I grab the drink and went. ladies and gentlemen everyone's like. stop the went God Save the Queen and God. bless. America that's awesome that's awesome.

and Ambassador Johnson then used some. decidedly undiplomatic language and went. that's. brilliant how was that received yeah not. good was there any there was bow back uh. uh I didn't hear anything firsthand when. I told the commander of my unit he was. seemed to be play and things but from. insiders in the headquarters they were. saying that the normal the normal point. was who is he think he is and then a. friend of mine who was working there he.

apparently said what do you think he was. going to do St tell him he wasn't going. to do it but but it was it was I'm quite. I'm glad it happened but I think it was. the straw that brought the camels back. um with um um and then uh like I said. there was so that was the point in my. life when I was like a few months after. that I I felt like I wasn't going to be. in a position to give anything. back to the Army and my unit so I was. like I asked if I could write a book. about it they said yes there's some.

other factors and I I thought right. now's the time to get out 20 years I've. had a good run that's that's cool yeah. and that's when I got. out. man I um. oh I'm sorry your country is. not giving you the credit that you. deserve that is.

uh what a. shame I mean there's lots of people who. support me and I'm really thankful for. that so you know I should that's why I. try I'm concentrating on I'm not I'm not. even bitter you know I I said it I'm. bitter towards I'm not really bitter. towards the government it's just more. like I expect nothing less yeah that so. I'm not I'm not even that upset it's. just like yeah because I've seen it. happen so many times with other things. I'm like it doesn't surprise me but the.

main thing is that so many people do. support me and that's that's something. it's not as if I did that and everyone. hated me then it's different thing or. but the the fact of the matter is like. people in the army people there's there. will be sure there's tons of people in. the foreign office off in the government. who who really like what I. did but there is certainly must be a. good chunk somewhere that really do not. like what I did and what I stand for. wouldn't it be nice wouldn't it be nice.

if more people were like you and stood. up for what was right in that office. well this is the. thing do you know. like people need to. like cowardice is everywhere. and like Brave bravery and whatever. aspect goes a long way it doesn't have. to be something Grand like the D du D2.

incident at 4 Riverside Drive it can. just be seeing it you could be voicing. your opinion when someone's bad mouthing. someone else yeah just stepping standing. up and saying actually I think you're. out of line he's a good guy instead of. just keeping. quiet be be it's that line of like no. decision is is always his decision so. and and it's the same thing of like. people saying oh well I would have done. this or I would have done if I'd been. there I would have done that or if I. would you yeah I don't think you. would would you know when people say oh.

I would have if I was in OV valdi I. would have done this you weren't there. so maybe you should just hold your mouth. yes there's some people who are think. going to stand before God for what the. decisions they made that day but there's. other people who are just following. orders and and if someone had called me. on in Kenya and said do not whatever you. do do not go in there there's a probable. chance I probably wouldn't have went in. cuz I'm in the. military maybe I would have ignored it.

but I but but I probably wouldn't. have but here's the thing last year it. might been the year before though all. the years nowadays seem to roll into one. I stopped a girl from being kidnapped. you stopped a girl from being kidnapped. where cuz nor in Herford. at halfast 6 in the. evening a girl's trying to get bundled. into a car and no one's stopping no. everyone's walking past and I'm like so. I'm walking down the road I can hear.

this girl help help help and I look at. across yeah I'm like about 100 yards. um from a on the other side of the road. and I'm looking across she's outside a. pub like a busy a busy public house so. so straight away in my thought I'm. thinking well she's probably drunk and. they're probably trying to get her in. the car and it's not like it's just a. reluctant you got to go home no I'm all. right so I thought I'll give the. benefit people are walking past all.

people driving help as they close I say. there's. um um two people trying to load her into. a car they're trying to get her into a. car and she's like pushing back off it. and they're trying like got either side. the train P She Keeps she F help help as. I gets kind of level with her she then. something. changes it was like somebody please help. me but it was the the the tone the. frequency mhm that that sort of got me. and I was like and then as I level with.

me there was a woman with two kids and. she was like why is no one helping and I. went have you seen what's going on there. have you seen what's going on she went. no but no one's helping no one's doing. anything and she had two young boys and. I'm like or two young children and I was. like okay call the police I go do me a. favor call the police so I walk start. walking across the road it's quite a. large like wide Road and I start walking. towards the car and then break into like. a caner and.

like towards and the guy gets up the dri. gets out the car aggressively gets out. the car and he's like looking he gets. out and I'm like and I'm doing this run. towards him like this can and I put my. arms out to the side like this and I. don't say anything vocally but I can I. am saying something something without. words and I'm what I'm saying to him is. buddy I don't I don't want any trouble. but I'm about to [ __ ] you up if you. want and he he registers that cuz he's.

like then he shouts oh she owes me money. she owes me money and gets in the car. and he like shouts at the two and the. other two one of them whacks her on the. head they get in the car and drive speed. off and like to the woman now you all. right you right and she went leave me. alone and she like staggers staggers. away at the same time the police Poli. fan is coming down not responding to. this call and I wave them down and. there's a female police officer side and. I said hey just so you know someone just. trying to be kidnapped and then this. woman with the kids runs up behind me. and says this man's a hero this man's a.

hero I'm like and um and I said yeah and. I said and I give them like an update. and she takes. notes and then that's the last I've. heard of it so man so I don't know what. happened but uh I don't know whether the. police followed up and didn't follow up. with me I don't know if it's ongoing I. don't know whatever but the moral of. this story is I I even if you do some. something is I didn't do. anything the only thing I did I didn't.

even open my mouth I just W cross the. road and confront confronted someone. with non-verbal communication you made. yourself available and that was enough. to potentially save someone's life cuz. who knows what they're going to do to it. they're bundling. a a 20s something woman coming into a. car nothing good was going to happen. there if they're willing to use physical. Force to get someone in the car they're. not going to take her away and just have. a chat with it and make it pay money. they're going to do [ __ ] we know that. and if you think otherwise you're living.

in a different planet yeah but all I did. was all I did was something and some no. matter how small it is something that's. that's enough to make a big change yeah. and people people still it's this. decision paralysis there's lots of. people I think now if you had a group of. guys group of people doesn't matter what. they do you tell them to go and run into. a burning build and save people most. people will do that if you tell them to. if you order them. to we're at this state in society now.

where people are scared but they're not. scared of physical damage or death. they're scared of the consequences of. their action and it's causing this. decision paralysis where people don't. want to be the one to make the call mhm. M and whilst they're doing that people. are dying mhm cuz every second counts. I'm glad you brought that up it is. um sad what's happening they are I don't.

even know who they are yeah but they are. demoralizing Society from doing the. right thing and even like the little. things if someone could. collapse and now we some people would. straight away go to work what's going on. other people just like I don't want I. don't want to get involved in case I get. taken to cult because he if he dies on. like because I'm giving CPR and he dies. I'm like why are you even thinking that. yeah should just be bum what can I.

do when I when I when I when I did what. I did that day I didn't think right oh I. could get oh what if this happens I was. just like going to do the right. thing bum I mean not well maybe I. haven't got permission I maybe I'll wait. outside to get permission maybe I'll do. that I didn't I just went for it I'd. like to think other people would do that. sadly I think lots of people the. majority wouldn't do. that well there's no videos of anybody.

else entering that. building people people did make. themselves available you know what I. mean. yeah yeah there's not very many people. that would do. it and that's. sad and that's the message here I am. send. me let's go let's go for it you you're. right sometimes I've said this. before you know when the whole. everything's collapsing around you and. you could be you might not be a super.

duper tier one special forces operator. but you're it no one else is going to. protect your family no one else is going. to do what needs to be. done and you got to you got to think. I guess I got to do it and then who do. wins maybe you're going to fail and die. and suffer the consequences but maybe. you're going to win and save a lot of. lives that's what people need to think.

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all right Christian we're back back from. the break we can uh ease the tension a. little bit we don't have to dance around. anything anymore but um I want to get. into some of the stuff that you're doing. now so I know you wrote one book which.

may or may not ever be released but I. love the children's book that you wrote. the wrong Wolf the messaging in there is. fantastic it's a great story for kids. and and um where did the inspiration for. that come from well um. the story the wrong wolf never never. lived in my mind didn't never thought. about this the story as it is it it. didn't occupy any space I never thought. about writing a children's book full.

stop not. once um the only thing similar to it I. was talking to a friend of mine from a. similar unit in the US Military and we. were talking about the wolves and sheep. dogs how. the and one of the points that we came. up with that sheep dogs don't kill. wolves they scare Wolves Away the only. thing that can kill a wolf is a wolf and. that that's kind of what like you could. say is like what what I am maybe set up.

to be a criminal or from a from a bad. area. and like life was setting up to be that. but I actually became a became a became. a a sheep dog wolf like a wolf turned. sheep dog and I think special oper. option are full of those sorts of people. not the majority of people in in in. there so that was that was that was the. only like Connection in my mind and uh. uh and the so I'm listening to your.

podcast in the gym Jim when you're. talking to Jim. cavel that one's gone now and uh I'm I'm. listening to that in the in the gym and. uh and I'm working out and. I think you say oh we need more sheep. dogss Jim cavel chips in and says we. need more converted wolves that's what. we need and like a data. transmission that story the story of the. one wolf just came into my.

mind bang like the story and it. wasn't I'd never ever thought about. writing a children's book ever bang this. story just comes in my mind not just the. story but the pictures the whole the. whole thing and it's not just I do that. it was like stop me in my tracks kind of. thing was. like and I stopped working out got in. the car got back um to where I was.

living and started writing down notes. like a rough idea picked up the phone to. uh Matt Klein uh is a good friend of. mine xus army X NYPD great artist uh fed. him up he uh he'd already published a. children's book with his wife and this. is a. thing I I I didn't even think about a it. was just like oh I need to do a. children's book so it came to me like. weird it's so weird and I'm like dude.

I've had this idea for a children's. story and could you could you do some. pictures and I goes I want to do it I. goes I feel like I need to do it right. now and he's like yeah I'm I'm about to. go on hold it back and try and get it. all in how how many pictures and I wor. I'd worked out I said it's going to be. about 30 pictures but I'll let you know. tomorrow by the next day all the. pictures in that book I knew what they. were and they've never changed since so. like less than 24 hours of having this.

idea picture number. one um pack of wolves in the mountains. howling at the howling at the Wolves. that's what I sent to him picture to etc. etc they've so all of it was just so. part of me feels like I didn't even. write it it was like just given to me. wow and get it out there. um and it's a it's a great story um and. I hope when people people I thank you to. everyone who's pre-ordered it or who did. pre-order it and I I I just kind of hope.

and I I think that people are going to. buy it out of support of me and then. go then speak to to people who don't. know who I am and say hey by the way you. might want to buy your kids this book. because it's a great message and uh it's. a good it's a good story that. lots of people I think can identify with. mhm so. it's um a mical story people who know. the story of Kenya could say there. elements of the book are from Kenya.

maybe those are elements of the book. that are from my Army Career. definitely the elements of from my. childhood. yes but it's not exclusive to me because. I think most people will look in that. book and they will be they'll be able to. put themselves in pages of this book as. well what what what how do you summarize. that. story I'll tell you how I summarize it I. thought it was fantastic it is a it is.

about. a. wolf that doesn't. belong who tries to fit a new. tribe and has to prove himself he proves. himself by standing up and doing the. right thing. yeah so there's so many lessons in such. a. short story in there I mean it's it's. it's it's it goes over the feeling of. not belonging it goes over the feeling.

of. of fitting in with a new tribe Y which. we discussed a lot of that at the very. beginning of this episode right pleasing. people trying to fit in with a new tribe. it's your it's your story yeah it's your. story standing up for the right. thing it's about again about loss cover. a lot and I mean the the easy way to put. it to really simplify it's about a wolf.

that becomes a sheep. dog but like you said it's about someone. who's different who knows he's different. someone who loses he's um his only. friend or. mental again standing up for people. doing the right thing getting excluded. from One Tribe to then go to another. tribe where he still doesn't fit in and. they don't value. him but. then when bad things happen he steps up. and saves them all and only then is he.

accepted and uh there like there's and. like I said that's that's not exclusive. to me that's everyone there's lots of. people whether you work in a you're the. person who might work in an office and. people you work really hard and people. don't like them and and yet they'll go. home that weekend and B kicks for. everyone I mean that's a really it. doesn't have to be anything Grand like. running into a hotel. or it it could just be something as. simple as that where you're you're doing.

good things for ungrateful people and. only and eventually they'll maybe um. they see what is what's for but it's um. the other message that is a bit more. subtle. is is like I try to say nothing ever. dies nothing really dies not a person. not an idea not a story it just goes. somewhere else and changes. maybe what else is coming down the line. for. you well we'll see how the the near.

future goes but um. I'm looking to start a YouTube. channel putting out some different. content out there um which I think a lot. of people will be happy with certainly a. lot of people always ask me if I'm going. to start a YouTube channel do you have a. YouTube channel yet and you just don't. put content on it I would love to direct. people to a YouTube channel yeah I. haven't done one yet but I'll let you. know maybe I'll let you maybe I'll have. one set up before this if you create one.

even if there's not anything in there. let me know and when we release this. I'll put it in the intro and I'm sure. people Jo jump over there and follow you. no matter what um so there's that and. then I'm doing some good uh future work. with star. uh Sons of Liberty and field ethos cool. what's field ethos is the the hunt. hunting Journal uh that. yeah what will you be doing with them.

um uh I'm it's been on the it's been on. the forecast for a long time we're. looking to do some content with them. related content to do with hunting or. similar activities and and um there'll. be I'm going to drop a we're going to. start an e-commerce shop uh the name t. to be conf to be confirmed of of the. website shop but we're going to be. releasing um official Chris CRA head. Merchant bit that's awesome and.

collaborations will feature on there and. things like that what are. some so this is going to be hard for you. but what are some things that you need. to be successful you have a audience of. over 2 million people. yeah I just think what do I need to be. successful what are you looking. for throw it out in the world you never. know what's going to come back at um I'm. I'm open to a lot of things and I think.

a lot of people don't approach me. because they either think I've got. everything tied up or that I'm already. signed up I'm kind of a free spirit so. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm looking for people. to you know PE people from whether it be. whatever industry Say Hey I want to work. with you. then reach out to. me to me through through. Instagram do you hear that everybody. he's a free agent so he's looking for. people to make connections he's looking. for people to help him build a business.

and there's a lot of people that watch. this show that can help you do that and. I hope they come your way so but man I. gu. Christian I just got to say man it was. a real honor to sit across from you. today and and and get some of your story. and man you're just. uh you're just a great example. to to our youth and um which is becoming.

a rarity all across the world and um I. just want to say thank you for that man. you carry yourself very. well you carry a lot of respect you're a. great example and um man I'm just happy. you're here thanks thanks very much I. really am and um before we go I need. three recommendations of who you would. like to see on this.

show Donald. Trump I think it would be. uh very interesting to get president. Trump on here. I think. he he uh he I think he I don't know what. you talk about but go I think it'd be. it'd be interesting for him to come on. here. and yeah you come up with an unusual.

like um questions that maybe doesn't get. asked in other other other places I. would love to get that in and I think it. especially relevant if you ask him as. his rle as commander and chief and I. think that's that would be interesting. um. um because he's ultimately he the top of. the chain then um so um he he he would. he would be a good person. to to have on something like different.

yeah um I'll try to make that happen you. got anybody else two. more yeah I mean if I wish you'd ask me. this a bit earlier and then I would have. had these prep daners and that's the. beauty of it putting you on the spot. um yeah I mean I don't know I was. like it's all horses for courses as they. say I I I like the more off the track. sort of stuff where some people like the.

veterans and the the special ops and I I. like like that's why I one of the. reasons for seeing Donald Trump is that. I get different perspective yeah from. the com the is the commander-in-chief or. was the commander-in-chief and uh so. like so like that we could tie in. Special Operations and decision- making. and signing things off for him I think. it' be interesting so so to think of. other people um I mean I'd love to get. Joe Biden but I don't think he's going. to be able to walk up those.

stairs. I actually I know he won't be able to. walk up those stairs but are you going. to edit that out cuz they'll definitely. come for you me I'm sure they're already. coming for me um you you could get I I. know a good person actually and I'm. ashamed it took me so long meley chaping. who's that mey the girl from the deet. the the woman that was in the hotel yeah. that wrote the book mhm that you saved.

yeah Roger. that Roger that we'll reach out yeah. well brother I'll uh I'll let you off on. the third one unless you want to keep. going um I'm now un booking myself I'll. I'll be driving home going ah I should. have said oh why didn't I say that what. about him what about her what about this. I. like. um. yeah that yeah. well I want to say thank you for coming.

and more. importantly thank you for saving those. Americans lives and everybody's lives. all 700 of them that day that is. a I seriously doubt I will ever sit in. front of another human being that can. say that they saved 700 lives in one day. so that means the world to me man and uh. God bless you.

[Music]. [Applause]. cheers hey everybody I'm Shawn Ryan. click here to subscribe to the Shawn. Ryan Show YouTube channel for the. hottest and most compelling interviews. that you will not see anywhere else I've. also made a playlist of all the previous. SRS episodes so they're easy to find you. can find that right here.