Chris / Kristin Beck - Transgender Navy SEAL Transitions To Woman Then Back To Man | SRS #50

hey everybody this is the most. controversial episode I have ever done. and a lot of people told me I probably. shouldn't do this episode because I. might get cancelled I don't care I do. not care I am tired of watching creators. and podcasters all over the place filter. their content in fear of cancel culture. I'm not going to do it I never have done.

it I'm going to keep getting Bolder and. I'm going to keep getting louder on. subjects that I think people need to. hear. about this episode has changed my. perspective on certain issues with the. topic and it also has solidified many of. my views on the topic but my views. that's not what matters I'm just. bringing truth to you guys and I hope. you appreciate it and if you don't.

that's cool too there's a lot of other. channels out there for those of you that. do though thank you for sticking around. I hope you guys like this one please. leave us a comment like And subscribe. follow And subscribe to us on Spotify. and iTunes leave us a review ladies and. Gentlemen please welcome Chris Beck to. the Shawn Ryan. Show I love you all enjoy it learn. something something spread it everywhere.

everybody needs to hear this all right. cheers one last thing if this video does. offend you and you're part of that. cancel culture crowd before you have a. complete conniption fit go get a camera. turn it on video your meltdown because. nothing warms my heart more than. watching the cancel culture crowd have a. complete meltdown post your video on. Twitter tag shawnryan762 I'd love to see.

it enjoy the show. [Music].

[Music].

[Music]. Chris Beck welcome to the show man thank. you been a long time coming you. nervous no it's my life I'm you talking. about it's happen to be nervous about. well I am a little bit nervous maybe I. get nervous for every one of these. things yeah every single one of them I. just want to make sure that I I that I. produce the best product you know that. is the most accurate representation of.

you and um so give you a quick. introduction. here. 20year Navy SEAL retired veteran 13. deployments Bron star with Valor Navy. Comm with Valor Purple Heart founder of. mindful Valor. nonprofit you transitioned to a female. from a man then you transitioned back to. a male your motivation speaker and your.

goal right now for coming on the show. which we spoke a lot about is you want a. platform to speak to the seal Community. do you want to go into that a little bit. Yeah. so I make mistakes in my life I think we. all make mistakes we're human right. there was and and you mention that a. transition from a male to a female and. that's not really truthful you know. that's not really what happen happened.

when I looked back on it and there was a. time when I thought that was what I was. doing but it's definitely not the case. it was an. imitation you know it was. [Music]. um it wasn't right it was a. mistake it was something that hey if it. was Private then yeah whatever you know. and uh it's something that should have. never happened and I'm not a female was. never a female a male can't be a female. well we're going to get to all of that.

and I want to understand it cuz I don't. I don't understand it and um I I just. want to be honest with you my goal my. personal goal with this. interview for the record I think this. interview has the potential to be the. most impactful interview that I will. ever do and my goal with this interview. I hope it is because I think there's a. lot of there's a lot of things going on. in the world today that they're yeah. weren't 20 years ago yes and um and I.

think it's building a lot of Confusion. And so my goal is for any children who. are thinking of transitioning yeah or. identifying as the opposite sex as they. were. born whether they want to do it or not. that's not for me but I just want them. to have a full picture of what that. process is like yes what it did to you. and what it did to your mental state mhm.

and I want that entire Community to be. able to come to this this episode on. this show and hear your story and. help them come up with the the right. decision for them yeah if that makes. sense yeah and so Chris I just before we. do start I just want to say I know. you've been through a a lot of [ __ ]. you've been through all the combat. stress that almost everybody in that. chair has been through MH you know. unique to you and then you've been.

through the transition stuff and I know. that was extremely hard on you and um so. I just want you to know you're in a. judgment free zone there's no any of. that going on here I hope somebody. starts judging. me but sometimes we need to get a smack. in the face you know yeah sometimes we. need to be told to stop yeah you know or. cut that out or hey are you sure I've. heard you can be quick to do that at. times who me yeah I have punch people I. heard a story about you and Danny's.

Pub but I won't get into it but hey. everybody starts off with a gift on this. show there we. go thanks man open it up you're supposed. to open it right. now. nice those are Vigilant leag gummy bears. made in the USA gummy bears that's right. what are they they're they're legal in. all 50 states they're 420 Bears no. they're not 420 bears oh man come on.

they're just Vig you give good ones well. maybe we can talk about that after the. show but yeah that's cool man yeah I. make my own gummy bears do you really. yeah what do you make well I some good. ones oh you make you make the magic but. they're all organic so I take a one cup. of uh fruit juice and a a couple. tablespoons of lemon juice and then you. put in um the beef gelatin and I think. that's like a third of a cup or. something and you just it's not very.

hard there's like five ingredients you. know and it's or organic you know it's. all the stuff natural you know nature so. it's not the chemicals and other stuff. interesting yeah you do all kinds of. stuff out there we had a good dog at. breakfast the gummies I uh well I'm in. the homeopathic and herbal stuff and so. when I make the gummies I always add in. I make these tinctures out of like I. make golden rod tincture and nettle. stinging nettle tincture I make all. these different tinctures and I add.

those tinctures of various types to the. Gumi bears and so that gives you all the. nutrition and vitamins and minerals you. know I have a drink that I can make. that's like a thousand times better than. Red Bull or any energy drink ever you. really what's that really what's in it. yeah it's a SE no it's not it's it's. basically some of the herbs and stuff I. do but um a lot of it the really big. stuff is cinnamon and honey so if you. mix cinnamon and honey into a warm drink. just that alone is a huge energy boost. they it'll last a lot longer than any of.

energy drinks because it's not sugar so. the Red Bull and all those other ones. are real sugary and sugar is like a real. high that you get it's very short and. then you get lower then you start it out. but if you take honey and cinnamon. especially those two combined it make. they work together and so that cinnamon. and honey together with some other stuff. that I do for vitamins and uh wild. lettuce is really good cuz it's like a. it's a um painkiller too which I help. but I take all these natural things I. put them together and it makes this.

amazing energy drink that you can't. touch the problem is you can't sell it. cuz how would you uh take all these. natural things and is really good stuff. and then make it marketable and put it. in a can and stick in all these shells. and have the production of it you know. doesn't work so it's scalability it's. production it's all the other stuff it's. not a money maker so nobody wants to do. it but I can give you all these recipes. of a whole bunch of stuff that I do and. if you use these things you're going to. find they're way better than anything. you can buy in the stores you.

know this conversation the conversation. that we had at breakfast about sugar and. all every energy all that stuff I can. tell you are an extremely intelligent. human being very Innovative and uh and I. know you were on some very special. projects in the military and I want to. get into some of that but let's let's. just start things off with. childhood okay where did you grow up so. how did I get to here did learning all. this stuff.

so I uh I was born in Long Island New. York and then uh I was a real little kid. I was four or five years old we moved to. Pennsylvania onto a farm and uh we had. 100 acres and uh cows horses pigs. chickens and all the farm stuff and a. big old Pond and this huge hill I had to. climb up to get to the back 40 acres to. uh you know take care of the animals up. there and uh 1970s on that farm and uh. I'm a middle child which is important. cuz uh I think that has to do with a.

little bit of it and people might not. believe it but um the middle kids. definitely I it's five kids yeah and I. was in the middle and so uh when I was. growing up I had a lot of fears because. it seemed like I was always the one you. know getting a beating for anything that. happened at the house why do you think. why do you think what do you mean be so. if you um if something broke in a house. and it would just be a paddling or a. belt or something and then um it was it. was pretty much all the time you know. anything went wrong I'd get it when I.

was in school I was get paddled all the. time you know and went to Christian. Schools too and so they didn't mind the. SPO the rods fear the child you know. yeah that was the other way yeah so no. matter who no matter who did it I would. get beat you were the one getting beat. nobody else got beat G my brother got. yed a couple times but I would get it. bad enough that then you'd feel bad and. buy me a fishing reel and I can't tell. you how many fishing reels he bought me.

or some stupid stuff he would buy to. kind of apologize which hey that's cool. thanks for the fishing I don't fish I. don't know why I kept buying me fishing. rails I'm not really a big Fisher but um. I lived in fear like all growing up I. remember the only dream from my. childhood is uh me on his huge. chessboard with these giant stadium. bleachers all around it and his big high. walls like a hockey and uh my dad was. the only one that I recognized out of. the whole thing and he was yelling down. at all the chest pieces on the board to.

attack me that's my dream as childhood. the only dream I remember I had a lot. cuz it all kept coming back it was like. it was just fear man when did the fear. start like how young can you remember I. was pretty. little I don't know like second or third. like real little like young very young. grade school were your parents close. your mom and dad no was your mom think I. saw my mom and dad like hold hands once.

in my life that's it yeah were you close. to your mom no not at all was she. abusive almost no I mean she broke some. Wooden Spoons on me once in a while the. cooking spoons she'd hit me with them. and break them but it. wasn't it wasn't really that it was like. I don't think she ever hugged me as a. kid you know yeah and I think that kind. of affected me a lot too that makes me. kind of the same way I'm not a real big. hugger or toucher I don't like to be.

near people yeah so I think it's I don't. know if it's her editor or something. that got passed on to her and then she. passed it to me was the fact that I just. don't like to. be hugged or touched or just stay away. from me you know I'll do the the ver hug. where you go yeah checking for body. armor. guns you body but I do that I when I was. in a motorcycle club I used to wear body. armor all the time and I was always. gunned up I'd have a couple knives on me. at least two guns and body armor that's. how I rode all the time. I whenever you see my my Harley I'm.

going to be gunned up you know I don't. not as much anymore because the stupid. gun laws are so whack but um armor and. guns you know and that's how I ride and. uh it's kind. of it's the way I always felt everywhere. I go I got to be armored up and only. recently I learned that that armor is. ineffective you know the armor of God is. much more effective. you know yeah we had some discussions.

about. that and I'm not bashing my mom or dad. you know not don't mean to but it was. the 70s you know and we're growing up on. a farm with all those animals and my dad. was a school teacher and my mom was a. homemaker with five kids and so the food. we ate was basically venison for meat. and and the milk we do powdered milk and. she'd water it down you know or get the. you know other milk and do it half and. half and it was just I got really used. to drinking like really watery milk in.

my cereal So eventually I just put water. in it I don't do milk in my cereal if I. ever eat cereal still very very um you. know the Working Poor you know and. that's what I think most of America is. divided into is a Working Poor and the. poor and then all the elites and there's. not really very much in the midal and. that might be a conversation for later. that the division that we have in. America isn't about race and color or. anything that stuff it's just rich and.

poor you know that's the problem we have. let's talk about that one later though I. would love to talk about that cuz I. think you're right the. uh the biggest problem I had grown up. was that isolation was I didn't feel I. was ever touched and I never really knew. it was like to to have love you know of. what it would really be. like what about with your. siblings it was different for them I. don't know what I did wrong you know I. don't know what why you know that.

there's always a kid in a family who's. like the black sheep there's always a. kid in the family who's like the. whiffing boy or the unless you're an. only child or maybe there's two kids you. know but if you have a lot of kids. there's always one kid that takes most. of. yous I'm just curious why a three out of. five why do you why do you feel that it. it's because you're the middle. child well the oldest first. and you can see it just in photos and.

videos and everything that they took of. the kids so tons of pictures of my older. sister and then some of my older brother. and then they start going off and then. almost none of me and then the sister. after me you know some photos and then. my youngest sister has a lot again so it. it's kind of like they got burned out in. the middle and then they realized oh my. gosh they need to make it up you know. what I mean I think that's it it does. make sense you know and or there was. just so many kids that was three of us. and I was a young boy and I had a lot of.

energy I mean if there was such thing as. ADHD back in the 70s that was me and I. got paddled every day in school I'd go. to the principal's office and he had me. it was marked you know and uh football. team P for just being loud or making a. jokes or doing something I was. incredibly bored in school it was the. most boring time of my life I hated it I. could take any test I could take a test. right now and I did it um uh air force.

uh person that was having a real hard. time passing these tests and uh in a. relationship with her and um so she said. hey can you take this test and I was. like well I don't really know the. material but yeah I'll take it and I. passed the whole thing and she couldn't. pass them she took it like three or four. times and I didn't read any material. didn't do anything took test past it so. I'm really good at taking tests I'm. really good at analyzing and critical. thinking and really look at the stuff. well then why did I mess up so bad you. know 10 years ago that should be the. first question. if I'm that big of a thinker and I.

critically think and I really analyze. stuff how did I fall into the Trap of. transgender for me now for some people. it might be good you know it might be. the right thing for them to. do but it's not the right thing for. probably more than half of. them and I can get we'll get into that. we'll get into that the. um it was rough growing up like that. because I'd felt that I always had that. pressure on me to make sure everything. was perfect cuz if anything happened. wrong around me or if there was ever a.

mistake or if I ever made a mistake it. was definitely going to happen so I was. always trying to fix stuff and I was. always trying to make everything right. and I was always making sure that I. lived this perfect life and didn't have. a mistake because I didn't want to get. beat on you know and um I think that was. like a big part of why I messed up. sometimes in the SEAL Teams it's because. I couldn't allow a. mistake and I would do that even in the. new guys I was really hard on the new. guys on I mean even gogin would talk. about that let's rewind let's rewind.

okay gogins made some comments about. that in his book uh don't hurt me daavid. gogins cool dude really I've never met. him yeah but um he's in one of my. platoons let's rewind a little bit back. to. Childhood did you ever get to the point. where you stood up to your father as you. got older 16 I blew a bubble I was. chewing gum one time and I blew a bubble. and I got punched in the face and I fell. backwards in the garage door and B grar. door so I wasn't going to stand up to.

him he was like a football player you. know a lineman in the 60s and was going. to play with the New York. Jets so yeah he had some skills yeah. sounds like it I mean I could take him. now he's like. 85 I'm just kidding is he still up yeah. he's around he's still alive I uh. yeah do you guys and the only time I've. ever gotten mad at him was the other day. like recently he's like 80 something. years old old and just.

like I still don't understand him I. don't understand what he's doing and. even all through my whole life I can't. figure them. out you know it's. uh I'm just trying not to do what he did. yeah it's a lot of talk about love and a. lot of talk about taking care of family. and then I don't see it any actions I. mean for example just right now he. kicked my brother out of his house. and my brother's a seasonal worker and.

uh doesn't work during the winter you. know because he's Union so he can't work. anywhere else if you're part of the. Union if you do another job and you turn. in that and they find out they're going. to kick you out of the. Union you know yeah and so my brother's. not working right now and then he just. got kicked out of the house and he's. homeless now my brother my dad did that. I don't get that why would you do that. to your son if you asked him you that. was part of the conversation he started. getting real super angry at me and then.

we started kind of arguing and at that. point I was like it start I started. turning back into that cave man in the. old days I wanted to punch him in the. face so bad just like he did to. me and I was like I was so angry because. what he was doing to my brother doesn't. make any sense I'm trying to get him to. stand up his own feet well during the. winter how about you do it during the. summertime when he's working and he has. money you know yeah and I asked him that. none of it and none everything came out. of his mouth none of it made sense and.

so I'm pretty much disowned for my whole. family now except my brother cuz he's. living at my house older young I gave. him a room he's an older brother I gave. him a room at my house I'm trying to. find him something I keep giving him. money cuz he has nothing and now he has. no place to live and it's made. everything harder for no reason that's. the family I grew up in damn you know. and it sucks because now I'm talking. about all this on national TV and it. feels like I'm bashing my dad and. throwing everybody under a bus but I.

just want them to know how much this. hurts and what they're doing just. doesn't make sense you're just conveying. your your experience yeah but that's how. I grew up I grew up with a father would. kick out his own son in the middle of. winter when he knows he has no money to. teach him a. lesson when I was growing up in 10th. Grade I left home and I lived in the. woods I bought a motorcycle and uh my. dad I guess had an accident with a. motorcycle almost killed him when they. were younger my mom and dad so she hated.

motorcycles she still does and uh so I. bought the motorcycle I didn't buy it I. actually worked for it I was working. construction in like 10th grade for this. guy and uh we were in his garage loading. gear doing whatever I saw this old. motorcycle in the corner it's all dusty. and covered part with tarp and really. messed up and I was like I was like Hey. Tim um how about that motor in the. corner you know how long would it take. me to work and I I'll work that off and. he was like all right that's cool. so a month of work and you can have it.

so I worked for a month and got the bike. and worked on it and fixed it up and got. it running got it tagged and had it all. done and then rode it. home and then I was like you will not. have a motorcycle in my house for my mom. and I was like all right so I went back. I didn't even live in a house at that. time I lived in a shed out back that I. made into a bedroom with no heat no. water no nothing in near Buffalo New. York I live holy [ __ ] Chris cuz I didn't. I didn't want to live in house I. couldn't live in a house I isolated.

myself on purpose because I didn't there. was so much so I was living in that shed. out back of the house and I brought the. motorcycle home and she said you can't. live here so I was like all right so I. packed up a bag and I left I was still. in school and I was in wrestling at time. it was like October time period so it. was snow on the ground I had a. motorcycle and I was riding around in. the snow I'd go to restant practice and. shower there and that's how I did. everything and uh there's a halfway. house for prisoners up the road it's for.

prisoners exons and some other stuff and. so I go there and wash dishes and I. could eat with all these exons and all. these other people that were in this. halfway house or this little shelter and. then I would get done EA and doing my. stuff and I'd go back up in the woods. and live in the trees I had a lean to I. built you know in some pine trees damn. and um that lasted for a while to my dad. I think it was like it was it was a. couple months it was through the winter. and then my dad came out and he told me. said Mom crying a lot and really wants. to come back and I was like can I have a.

motorcycle he says yeah you can have. it I said all. right I keep living in the. sh so but that was it was I mean that's. part of who I am too and I'm very. stubborn if I if I know something is. true if I know something is right I'm. going to do it that's like an admiral. Olsson story too yeah when I started. working on Mission planning and in SEAL. Teams you know I built the whole mission. planning system for the seals I didn't.

in the 90s in. 1999 they were trying to uh automate the. mission planning systems for the seals. and uh Cowboy Wells he knew I was like. in the intelligence stuff and I did a. lot of mission planning and I was in the. computers because I in those days I was. building my own computers so uh Cowboy. called me up and he said hey I want you. to come up to warcom uh the Seal team. headquarters the HQ and uh and help me. with this program cuz is it's not. working it can't I just the company we.

hired he told me all the stuff that was. going on he said this isn't working we. need somebody to come up here and and. help us out he said I know you have the. knowledge and I was like all right I. never asked for any orders I was. recruited to every command even Dam Neck. we'll get into that let's re re want so. they recruit recruited me I went up. there and built it and uh and they were. arguing with me about the system I was. building they didn't like it or they. thought it was it wasn't automatic it. wasn't that and uh they were going to.

they were going to kick me out of they. was like they just they didn't. understand it and I was fighting with. him and I was the Admiral sitting there. I said this is the right way to do it I. said you can do it my way and the way. I'm doing it right now it'll be right me. talking to my Admiral and I was a E6 at. the. time so if I know what's right I don't. care who you are if you're the president. I'm GNA tell you you know and that's. kind of what I'm doing right now is that. even when I was doing all the trans. stuff thought I was.

right actually I didn't really push it. very much all I was doing was defending. people just saying hey it's just a. person you know I wasn't pushing the. transgender stuff I was just pushing the. fact that that's a person and no matter. what they're going through if it's a. mental health issue if it's a physical. issue it's a sexual whatever it was it's. still a person and you all are killing. them and doing whatever and all this you. know Madness against transgender people. so at the time I was thinking the same. thing and so I was defending them I was.

saying hey that's a lot of what I was. doing and that's all I was doing I. wasn't really defending transgender I. was defending Humanity I was defending. the fact that you're a human you know. what I mean I do and it's the same thing. I do all the time and what I'm doing. right now is doing the same thing I'll. defend transgender people I'll defend. non-tr I'll defend every anyone if. you're being wronged that's you know. that's that's interesting that you bring. that up so let's rewind to childhood you. you have a history of you you stood up.

and you defended the country then you. said you stood up and you wanted to. defend the trans Community now you want. to defend Christians let's rewind a. childhood did you want to stand up for. your siblings that's all I ever did I. guess yeah a purposefully guess I would. purp I would yeah I did it cuz I knew. that they couldn't take it. you've probably heard me talk about my.

psychedelic Journey last year and all. the benefits that came from doing it I. haven't drank any alcohol or had any. caffeine in almost a year my anxiety is. gone and my anger is gone a whole list. of benefits came from that and that led. me on this journey to researching the. benefits of mushrooms and fungi in. general and in my research I found this. company called mbat mbat is a coffee. alternative with four adaptogenic. mushrooms and herbs with a fraction of. caffeine as a cup of coffee I have. energy without anxiety Jitters or the. crash of coffee what I really like about.

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docomond to support the show use code. Shan for 15% off that's mudwater. decoma use code sha for 15%. off did you ever have any identity. crisises with gender growing up yeah I. mean it was still that's the problem and. I I think that this whole thing is.

um cuz this wasn't even an option back. in the 70s no it it wasn't un it was. unheard of. until or what mid 2000s but you know so. there wasn't any you couldn't there was. no parents pushing this on their. children at that time like there are. today there there was none of that so. I'm just it wasn't even an option it. wasn't even an idea that could be in a. human's head yeah um um you know what I. mean so that's why I'm curious did you.

have any of that identity especially for. me because there's no internet no books. no nothing and how would I even think of. that well the reason I thought about it. the reason I even started doing anything. like that was like real young so this. would be like second grade third grade. like. young I was you know how I was growing. up was pretty harsh right I had an older. sister and uh my older sister because of. how they treated her cuz she was first. born she had everything it was like it. was.

like she was definitely taken care of. you know and it was always inside and. always just like sitting there taking. care of herself doing her nails or doing. whatever and then me I was like carrying. five gallon buckets of water up the hill. to the to the 40 acres up on top to feed. the animals so I was going back and. forth doing that slopping out the pigs. cleaning everything always working. always outside with with [ __ ] all over. me. and uh she was always inside just taking.

care of herself and being taken care of. and pampered and nice and anything. happened and I get de beaten and she was. still being taken care of and nice and. so I was look at her and I just wanted. to be her because I didn't want to be me. so that's when it started was the fact. that I did not want to be me I hated me. like at that time if I'd look in the. mirror and I'd see me I would just want. to see her because if I could be her I. wouldn't get beaten on if I could be her. I wouldn't have to be out there in a pig. pant all the the time you know taking. care of all that or the chickens and.

doing everything even to this day if I. go visit my parents my mom will have a. list it's all the stuff that's broken. around the house I need to fix you know. that light bulb or this switch or that. it's electronic or it's digging I dug. them out his huge Gardens or Koi pond or. every like all the time so I was just. labor for them is how I felt you know. it's not true I mean jeez but if you're. that little you're second grader third.

grader and all you are is a laborer and. getting beaten on and always outside. doing everything you look up there and. you see your. sister wearing nice. clothes you know yeah clean and. pampered and I'm getting beat on and I. got hand-me-down clothes and it sucks it. was a worst life growing up for a kid. ever just because of who I was and how. they treated me I didn't want to be me. hated me me and that's why I isolated I.

always lived in the Attic or the. basement in one house that they bought I. just made a room in the. attic and another house I lived down in. the basement the other one I lived out. back in a shed I never want to be around. them you know this is already starting. to make that's where starts man it's. like a it's a and that's why I say that. transgender a mental health thing it's. not it's not a physical thing it might. not even be a sexual thing you know and. everybody's making all these accusations. are saying this or that and now if.

somebody starts talking about a. problem like I'm talking about right now. and then they're automatically now in. these days automatically made into a. transgender person so I want to be my. sister I don't want to be. me it's not because I want to be my. sister I want to be female I just don't. want to be. me you know yeah and then I graduate. from high school I immediately go to. Virginia Military. Institute why have you ever told any. used to freaking beating I'm used to. getting beaten on that's my life if I'm.

not an ax if I'm not being beat on or if. I'm not and that's so I can't remember. who told me Nick Adams I think he said I. um God I couldn't stand that guy for the. longest time but it was all a mistake it. was me just projecting myself on him. geez Nick I'm sorry but he said to me. one time that I wallow in. misery I would I did three platoon with. him I think we're we're. tight you know it's interesting because. he said I wallow in misery and I think I.

really do because that's where I I lived. most of my life was in. misery I've never talked about this. stuff I didn't think it hurts it hurts. my family it hurts. me and I I was like I don't want to do. that but if you really want to know. what's going on and why all this stuff. happened and all those kids out there. are watching this if you want to know. what's going on you know don't let. outside influences make you do something. else don't let outside influen es. influence your life it's your.

life you know I let a lot of outside. influences influences me I kept looking. at everybody else and want to be that. you know and The Grass Is Always Greener. and I never knew all the stuff that was. going on in her life she had a lot of. stuff going on too you. know what as kids and how we raise our. kids as parents we shouldn't be raising. kids in our. 20s you know my parents were like 25. when they had me or 26 they're young. like right now I'm 56 years old and I.

have a fiance and she has a. 13-year-old I'm trying really hard I'm. doing really good with that kid I'm. doing everything I can to make sure that. everything is taken care of and he's. good do you talk physically all of. it some of it I talk to him about. mistakes all the time and when I make. mistake and I tell him I say hey this is. what I was doing or if I see him doing. something I said I said hey when I was a. kid do the same thing I said but now I'm. a little older you know I'm older and I.

learned a lot of stuff and that's not. really the right way to do it you know. how about trying it this way can you try. it my way for a little bit and he goes. okay I'll try it yeah it does work. better I said okay I said I have some. other stuff I can tell you too about the. same problem some other angles to attack. it from so it's all about how you see it. it's. perspective and then what kind of. toolbox you have what are the tools in. your tool bag and and I just gave you. another tool it's a new tool do you want. some more and so I tell them about this.

is the problem here's one tool your tool. wasn't working here's another one you. want another one here's another one and. so I'm trying to have him do it that way. and I make mistakes with them you know. and the problem is a lot of times I'm a. Seal Team Chief you know and I treat him. sometimes as a new guy in of theune and. I'm a chief and so we have 10 puppies at. home right now so they um 10 puppies p. is a handful and so in the morning I I.

get up and I clean out their pen so I. roll all the newspaper with the poop and. the pee and everything in it and then I. roll that up and put in a can I redo it. I put down water I do this and I bring. them in and so I need the food at that. time now the food comes down and he was. bring down the food and he brought down. some water and the water was cold I want. them to have warm water cuz warm water. for the stomach I can go into that it's. nutrition thing our stomachs are hot. organs the dogss are hot organs the. stomach you don't give them cold water. you give them warm water and it makes. their stomach work better and so if they.

drink warm water first a little bit and. then they eat their food they're going. to have better digestion and then. they're going to be able to poop faster. to make me clean it up right there so. not out there on the floor pooping so. it's all for reasons which I was not. explaining to him I said this water's. cold we need warm water and I handed him. back to the thing I said get warm water. and so when he was going back and he saw. you know my fiance and was saying Chris. is mad at me and he started saying stuff. and she was like well why and started. talking about and it and it starts.

spinning up into something that wasn't. and it was like well cuz I didn't. communicate good I was communicating. like a chief down to a new guy about the. water I wasn't talking to him like a son. and I wasn't talking to him like a like. hey. dude I can go into all the stuff and can. tell you why but warm water is much. better for the dogs they help them. digest so they eat the food and they. poop so I can clean a poop up so they. don't poop on a rug said there's a. reason for all this stuff and I just. need warm water dude and that would have. been a way better way to do it if I. didn't do that and then we ended up with.

an argument but every time something. like that happens I made a mistake you. know and now I know that mistake and. that I made with him and I'm going to. try to do way better from now on let's. go back. toi it's okay VMI you said something. interesting that you were seeking what. you were used to and I found that. interesting because I did 3 and 1/2. years of therapy twice a week um after I. left CIA um to better myself CIA and.

tell you some stories about them and uh. when I was in there she had mentioned my. therapist was a female she had mentioned. that human beings will always seek what. they know comfortable and so see. Comfort not just Comfort if you see she. was she was talking about with me she. was talking about post-traumatic stress. stuff you know and and and why we always. find ourselves in chaos and if things.

are. good somehow convert good calm Comfort. into stress and chaos and and she was. just conveying to me you know that it. doesn't matter if it's if you got it in. war you got it from an abusive childhood. you got it from um women who have a. history of being abused by by men mhm. they will always you you see this.

pattern in people you know you see. especially women you know especi you. really see it in in Abused Women yes. they go from abusive relationship to. abusive relationship to abusive. relationship and it seems like that's. exactly what you did when you went to. VMI yeah you then I Bas from V VMI to. the teams mhm VMI the first six months. is called rat you're rat and uh it's. it's tough VMI is the toughest military.

school in the country you know by far I. mean what was your thought process uh. Norwich was pretty tough they're both. tough schools but VMI was known what was. your thought process going in there you. I mean how did you know. discipline. okay and the fact that I knew all. through school I wanted to go to college. I knew that I I wanted to have the. knowledge I knew it was something that. would would Propel me or or help you. advance in life you know education is is.

a is a gift that you need to keep. getting you know it's a gift that you. need to keep pursuing you know picking. up you know any book you know and the. good book is is a great place to start. but there's so many you know so much. knowledge out there if you're not. pursuing that knowledge then you're. stagnant and I knew this pretty young. you know I was a big reader so I didn't. do anything in class I was definitely I. I was doing stuff in class and getting. that padle all the time but on the side. I was reading a lot of books so I I was.

reading a lot of Science Fiction but it. was science Fiction's philosophy like uh. heinan is a philosopher you know the. moon of the heart's mistress and um uh. storm zip Troopers you know those two in. particular storm ship troopers the movie. was terrible but the book and the actual. Philosophy for that book is about. citizenship is about Duty it's about so. much in that book but um then you do. Moon as a Harsh Mistress that's all. about um equality and um value and.

slavery and usage and then Revolution. and how to set the revolution up and how. to succeed and the whole philosophy of. of all that is it's an amazing book I. was reading all those books in high. school and Junior High in high school. you know and so I was absorbing all that. and I would hear what they were teaching. and it just wasn't useful to me you know. I could pass all this test and I. probably would have been a student if I. put a little bit of effort in it I would. actually purposely fail test sometimes.

why I would I would answer all the. questions but I would shift them by one. so that all the answers would be off by. one and you would did that on purpose. middle finger yeah you know that I would. just be like you guys you keep paddling. me and you keep doing that you're. teaching me wrong and I didn't know how. to verbalize I didn't know what to say. but I would just I wouldn't really try. very hard on the test I would just do. them real quick even the SEAL Teams I. would always do the test I would do them. real fast I would finish in like 10.

minutes and everybody would take an hour. ask any team guy that was ever into. class with me about how I acted during. classes you know uh who's that one dude. um it was a dive dive soup class and we. were doing over die physics and uh the. instructor made a mistake and it was. about partial pressions some other stuff. and I I knew the physics really good of. at all you know I was already a scuba. diver in college I was I was a diver. before seal. and uh I I had a lot of knowledge and so.

he said something it was like and I was. like and I raised my hand I was like. well that it's not really right and I. said and I started talking about what. was right and everybody in class all the. other team guys were were pissed and I. even did that I was like yeah but if. they're teaching wrong stuff then. somebody's goingon to die you know I'm. gonna I'm G to bring it up I'm I want to. challenge that guy and Brad what the. heck is his last name Brad was in that. class with me if he watches this he'll. know I'm talking about him to this day. he still holds that against.

me he still says you're always a jerk. during class and like raising your hand. and like challenging the instructors I. was like we should if they're teaching. you something wrong in die physics. shouldn't you raise your hand and say. that's. wrong saving somebody's life that you. just said that yeah come on dude so he. Brad I'm just trying to save your life. dude that's why I raise my hand a lot. and that's why I challenge stuff let's. go back to VMI. yeah so you go to.

VMI what do you what's your degree in. electri engineering electric engineering. electrical engineering yeah yeah how did. you become algebra differential. equations a lot of it was thick so. you're good at math really good at math. I can be good at math if I want to be I. haven't done a lot of math right now but. I'm doing a lot of experience right now. and I'm doing electricity experiments in. electroculture about growing um plants. with electricity before we get into that. let's stick at VMI let's stick withm.

when that's why electro engineering is. I'm so glad I did that but I also goofed. a a lot at VMI and I played lacrosse and. I was just I I wasn't again not applying. myself the discipline didn't work for me. you know their discipline didn't work. how were you at building relationships. when you left. home terrible did you have friends I. have I have some really close friends. the ones that get to know me if you sit. with me for for long enough you're going. to you you'll end up probably being a.

friend if you if you talk to me enough. but if all you do is to talk to me for. one day you'll be like yeah cool person. not or kind of a dick or kind whatever. just that one meeting but if just give. me a little bit of time and it was like. hey but I usually don't give people very. much time I'm very short you know and so. the folks that I did get tight with I'm. still like best friends with him to this. day my one of my VMI classmates uh Ron. he was out in California one of my best. friends of this day you know and no. matter what Ryan would be like dude if.

that's you like 10 years ago he called. me up he says dude if that's you you. know it's all right with me you know. whatever just as long as you're okay and. that's all it was Mike Martin Master. Chief you know right after I started. doing that he passed away a while ago. you know rest in peace brother but um he. sent me a note like right away he's like. Chris known you for a long time you know. support you if if you're you know if. you're okay if you're good you know do. you need anything and after I realized.

like yeah I'm okay I'm doing okay all. right all right I support you and that's. all it was so many team a lot of Team. guys some that would probably surprise. you too I know that I know you want to. get there and we will get to that point. no but it's it's important to know that. there's there are there is a lot of. support there a lot of I I make friends. and they're deep friends and Lasting. friendships I'm also really hardcore and. so if you ever like I said I'm always. living in fear of mistakes. if you make that mistake I'm not going. to let you get away with it if you're in.

class and you're the instructor and. you're the general you're the Admiral if. you make a mistake adal I'm going to. call it out you know. mcraven what point during VMI at one. point at what point during VMI did you. become interested in the SEAL Teams and. and how did you even find out about it. especially back what was that the 80s. for you yeah ' 80s I was class of 88 at. BMI I was I didn't finish I left. there I was in the ranger.

platoon and I was pretty heavy into like. the tactics and small unit tactics and. and I have my first Ranger handbook was. like. 1985 and uh doing patrol leader orders. plos and um doing all of it I was really. good at it you know and. uh I just I was scuba diving too and. then I also was interested in flying you. know being a pilot but the biggest thing. was like small unit Special Operations.

you know that type of thing Rangers. rangers lead away Ranger handbook man it. says it in there all the you know Rogers. Rules of Order it's all it's like dude. this is this is Warfare you know these. are the guys they're professionals you. know the regular army they're not quite. as professional you know which is a. failure that they could all be that. professional but the divisions of labor. is are wrong you know and I can go. through some of that too but it's it. might be take too long.

but I wanted to do that and I was also. scuba diving and in 1987 I just saw the. cover of magazine in a photo somewhere. in 1987 in all hands they had a Seal. Team special uh Edition the whole thing. with SEAL Teams and uh man I was. flipping through that and I was going. dude this is like it's like the Rangers. but they scoid Di and they freef fall. parachute and they do all this stuff and. these guys are awesome I said I want to. do that I said immediately after I read. that Magazine from All Hands in 1987 I.

was like this is what I want to. do and one of my fraternity Brothers uh. we were both reading a magazine and uh. drat Chris drat and um he says yeah I. want to do that too and I said yeah. let's do it so we were both going to. join it up together and uh I ended up. being one to do it though I don't know. what happened to him I lost track of him. but I knew at that point it was like. these guys do exactly what I want I pay. to go scuba div and why would I pay when. they could pay me to go scuba diving. Free Fall parachuting and doing. everything else this is awesome so did.

you drop out of BMI no I left in ' 87. not of my own. will was again electrical. engineering I was I was I'm glad I did. it but it definitely wasn't wasn't for. me it was uh I mean it could be for me. now now that I realize what I missed out. on you know I would love to go back and. do that but at the time I just wasn't I. wasn't buckled down enough it it was I. was only in to to the ranger platoon and. the lacrosse team those are the only two.

things I had a passion for you know and. that's the problem is as soon as you get. a passion for something you just start. digging in and then it lets a lot of. other stuff slide and that's what I did. I let my grade slide and so I ended up. um have having to go make up some time. and get my grades back up to stay and. then I got a lacrosse scholarship to a. way better school and then I ended up. going there and graduate from another. school Alfred.

University where's that it's in Upstate. New York that's where I am right now so. I ended up going back to Alfred for my. Master's Degree in U mental health. counseling no [ __ ] yeah well The Journey. for me to get out of where I am where I. was from VMI you went to mental health. counseling no no from VMI I went to. political science and philosophy at. Alfred okay and then at Alfred I. graduated and then went right into SEAL. Teams but I just recently went back to.

college for my graduate degree my. master's degree in mental health. counseling okay and so there I started. really digging in like psychology and. the mind and the counseling aspects and. and coping mechanisms and all the other. stuff the DSM which is a piece of. garbage now but it's a it's a manual for. all of the mental health uh issues and. everything you have G on in your life. you can go through it and you can find. find out you know signs symptoms this. this and what you can do and all the.

other stuff so I was really digging in. that and trying to figure myself out so. for two and a half years I was at Alf. University going through mental health. counseling trying to figure out what. what's up with me you know why am I here. what is wrong with me why did I do this. and I figured it out well don't we'll. get there let's go to the SEAL. Teams there's something about my. childhood that happened in 10th Grade. that it's probably pretty important well. we better I've only spoken about.

once and uh so you remember I was I was. living pretty isolated and I was. isolated from my family and isolated. from my. culture we don't have culture as white. people we don't have culture as white. people in America we don't how so we're. not. allowed so I did I was searching for a. culture and so I ran into this person. who was a native. American and I didn't know that he was. basically kicked out of his tribe but.

that that comes into play but he was. living out there with the English and uh. it's it's basically Amish English is how. they do it and I lived in Amish Country. too so we're English and they're Amish. and they're Native Americans there's. three different divisions of people in. America and it's only three divisions. you know don't start trying to divide it. up and all the other ones by color and. everything else it it's it's culturally. wise. was a lot more than that b smaller.

cultures they're. they're so I was there me with this. Indian guy and uh going there and just. hanging out and another friend of mine. Nick we would go there with this guy and. we were learning a lot about this stuff. and we were making beads and doing this. stuff and like learning about the. culture and really digging it and. getting into. it and the guy was living off off. reservation and in his cabin and uh. he was a p that's why they kicked him. out of the reservation they didn't want.

him doing that with their kids on their. reservation let him go do it with the. English and they didn't. care so I didn't know any of this stuff. I didn't know even know what that was I. didn't know what sex was I was a virgin. till I was like 22 years old 21 or 22 23. I'd have to really think about it to. actually put a date on it but I was a. virgin you know I was scared of all this. stuff I didn't I was very confused. because of what was going on to my own. head too all that fear and um so I.

started finding some culture I started. to find something I could really I could. sink my teeth into and be like this. means something you know the great. spirit and the way you take care of the. earth and all the other amazing things. about the Native American culture you. know the people that we heard before. them is even more wild you know which I. appreciate more the people that here. before. them it's amazing some of the stuff but. so I was there with him and for whatever. reason I was sitting there chopping wood.

and uh Nick left and I didn't even I. almost didn't remember a lot of this. stuff until like really recently and I. was talking to another guy and something. happened to him really similar when he. was a kid he was telling me about it and. then it all started coming back and I. was. like oh yeah so I was chopping wood and. shirt off and 11th grade or whatever and. uh Nick is gone just me and it starts. getting late and I said hey I got to go. and jump on my motorcycle and ride back. home and she was hey you're all sweaty. and all you know just hey jump in the.

shower and take a shower and I was like. stupid kid and so I was like yeah yeah. might as well yeah sounds a good idea. then to do it when I get home at like. midnight or whatever time so it wasn't. that late it was probably like 8 or 9. but uh so I'm in the. shower the freaking guy comes in there. with a big wood and and I start like. backing away and I'm like and I'm. freaking out I through the shower. curtain and scrambling away and I get I. able to scramble away I got away F my.

foot got out you know luckily but it was. enough it was like affected me a lot you. so I was already afraid of all this. stuff and I already had a lot of stuff. going on with me and then that happened. and so that pretty much shut down all of. it you know. it's holy [ __ ] I. um and all those people on that tribe. they all knew it and if any of them. think about the 80s and they think about.

that guy. patches and they're all going to know. and every one of them people living on. that reservation know they set us all up. all those English kids that were living. out there near him they knew it damn you. know I got away but there's a lot of. people that don't you know and it. affects you and it affected me greatly. and that's why these drag queens right. now they're danc for all these kids are. half neaked and doing all the. sexualization in front of these kids.

that's why I'm so adamant about these. drag queens right now that they're out. there dancing with these kids and. they're doing all the sexual stuff. that's pretty much what happened to me. when he did that you know it didn't go. the full thing you know luckily but it. was enough so it's very very similar. what these drag queens are doing and. I'll tell you what what he did. definitely affected me and it's not. right you know kids are very vulnerable. and kids are very. influenceable groom or whatever word you.

want to talk about if you're sexualizing. kids you know what you're doing and you. know what's wrong and you know you're. harming them. kids and that's why when I'm talking. about this stuff everybody's all mad at. me and saying that I hate drag queens. and I never even thought about drag. queens I have some I used to have some. drag queens that I might have called. friends that I knew and I was. acquaintances with at least and they. were pretty good people they're nice. you know but I don't have anything. against drag queens but the second they.

started being naked in front of kids or. doing sexual stuff in front of kids it's. all. sexual burlesque is sexual do burlesque. dancers dance in front of kids no no. pole dancing is sexual do pole dancers. dance in front of kids no so why do we. allow drag queens to do the same thing. in front of kids that's what I'm talking. about if they didn't do that I'd be like. yeah do whatever you want you're an. adult theme area you're at a bar it's.

adult entertainment if you were doing. that I'd High I'd give you a high five. whatever you know but as soon as you. started doing it in front of the kids. and I saw it and I was like this is. wrong and I start calling it out it's. exactly what happened to me and it. affects every one of them kids if you're. a parent bring your kid to these drag. shows you're messing your kids up. whether you think you're being all. compassionate to the drag queens. compassionate to the gay community or.

whatever you think you're doing because. there are people too and we should just. support them well don't bring your kids. if you want to give that drag queen. dollar bills you go there and give them. as many dollars as you want but don't. give dollar bills to your kids and have. your kids stuffing dollar bills in. somebody's. underwear that's are you kidding. me this is why I'm speaking so much so a. little while ago I did start speaking. out and I went on Robbie Starbuck and I. went on a couple not very much this is. all I'm fighting against cuz everybody.

else can take care of themselves if. you're an adult and you want to get. surgeries and you want to do stuff. you're an adult you know go for it but. you're doing this with kids right now. and that's when I I wear this purple. shirt on every show I had to remove. everything and make myself in the most. plain maybe even dirty looking so that. you don't even have an inclination that. would ever do that you know what I mean. yeah and they need to stop and if they.

stopped right. now all the pressure in an entire. Community would probably would be like a. pressure valve be turned off and Robbie. Starbuck and me and everyone else is. speaking out against the rainbow. Community right now because of what. they're doing and I blame the whole. Community the whole rainbow Community is. that blame right now cuz they're. allowing it if all those people if every. gay person every lesbian and the. transgender people who who are.

disagreeing with the stuff that they're. doing to kids if they would all just say. stop it would. stop and then you would. see everybody in the world they blame. the Christians too and I don't. understand that the Christians only want. the best for them the Christians only. want the best for those kids if they. stopped right now they would see that. the whole pressure Val would release and. it would be like we don't care you have. your bars you have your adult. entertainment go for it man we don't. care what you're doing as a Christian I.

don't care what they're doing that's you. if that's what you want to do you can go. for it but again leave me alone if I. wake up every morning I read the Bible. for an hour let me do it it doesn't do. anything to. you if I go to a coffee shop and have a. Bible with me and I'm reading my Bible. in a coffee shop why do you have to. tease. me you know I'm not doing anything to. anybody that's the thing yeah why are. they. attacking it's like Golden Rod if you.

have a hay fever everybody blames Golden. Rod Golden Rod is actually. anti-histamine but the Golden Rod is. sitting there real bright and it's. sitting there super bright yellow. flowers and all this stuff and you have. ha if you're sneezing all you see is. that Golden Rod blowing a Ste of pollen. all over the place the Golden Rod is. trying to heal you up did you know that. Christians are Golden Rod the Christians. are just there Bright and shiny. and just trying to heal you but we're. not sitting there knocking on your doors.

we're not sitting there well some of. them do but AR aren Christians but we. don't really do anything we're just. sitting there real bright and we're. saying we we have a way to help you out. if you want it but you have to take it. we we we're not going to give it to you. we're. here but everybody hates Golden Rod so. much because they think it's causing hay. fever everybody hates the Christians so. much because they think the Christians. are causing a hay. Christians don't cause hate we're set an.

example that now you're projecting on us. your hate is projected on all them. Christians and a lot of it's your own. self-hate do you know how many. Christians are killed per. year no over 5,000 worldwide over 5,000. Christians are killed per year because. of their belief because they have a. Bible because they believe in in a in a. moral code because they believe there is. something bigger than us and we believe.

that I am uh uh created in the image of. God and we are our DNA code is is the. image of God our DNA code is a code. written by somebody and you can take all. those Evolution people you can take all. those atheists take everybody else and. they can't figure that out and you ask. them and I can study with like dayart. who is a great causal Theory guy and and. you study that used to talk about first. cause and that's why they always get. stuck so who wrote the.

code so the the Christians you need to. stop thinking that Christians are. causing all these problems most of the. problems are being projected not. Christians it's actually somebody else. bringing that in and persecution so when. I say how many Christians are killed per. year is over 5,000 worldwide do you know. how many transgender people are killed. worldwide every year I don't it's like. 300 and. something in America it's like. 60. 65 I'm not putting those numbers out.

that they meaningless every one of those. numbers is a name every one of them. numbers is a person is a human is a. human that is worthy is a human that I. am grateful for that I had life and I. I'm very sorrowful that they're gone. right now because they had a life and. they had things to. offer and and I'm really upset that. those people were killed because they. were killed for really bad reasons the. transgender people that are being killed. for really terrible reason reasons those. Christians are being killed for really. terrible reasons both groups are being.

killed for terrible. reasons but the thing that I ask you. right now is who does our government. care. about who does the world care about. right now they care about those 300. transgender people and they're making. laws and they're doing everything they. can to save those. 300 and they don't care about those. 5,000 now how many Muslims are killed. per year worldwide for their religion. in the Quran Jesus's name is mentioned.

more than. Muhammad I think I know Jesus's name. Muslim killed but Jesus's name is in the. Quran a lot because of their religion I. don't know but I know that if you have a. belief I'm sure it's a lot who would be. doing that probably some people that. think they're Christians or maybe some. people that think they're. Jews it's a hegelian dialectic it's it's. a hego philosopher he had this theory. that the only way um Society can advance.

is through uh dichotomy it has to be. through two Waring factions fighting to. make everything Advance through. something else and now it's something. else you have to create something else. to fight that new something else to. create something else and that was the. whole Theory and that's a theory behind. like critical race Theory and a whole. bunch of stuff and the uh. there's so much I mean I I'm I'm now. thinking about that and and I could go.

into a lot deep that but the problem is. right now is that we always try as human. beings because we're so convinced that. it has to be two and they have to be. Waring same thing like Jesus and Satan. or God and Satan or Lucifer and what. whoever you want to say we think that it. has to be good and bad good and evil it. has to be you know God and Satan it has. to be this and that to do this it's a. waen and Boaz you know those are the two. pillars in Solomon's Temple they have.

the Masons believe in and they always do. that and they make it black and white. and it has to be that dialectic to join. into the one in the middle and that's. what they're doing right now with white. and black people they're making a racial. thing or trying to make it in that too a. dialectic to war but that's not the. right dialectic it should have been rich. and poor you know that's way more. accurate but nobody sees it that way. when you have billionaires meeting in. their B billionaire clubs do you think. when a black billionaire is sitting. there hanging out with a white. billionaire do you think they talk about.

race no. never when I was poor and I was growing. up we had a lot of you know my dad was a. football player too so we always exposed. a lot of a lot of black people because. that was the that's the culture of. football you know was very mixed up they. don't care when you're on that football. team do you care what color your Lyman. is or your quarterback or anybody else. on there you're a team you just play as. a team you know. I mean they're definitely they're. definitely doing a division broken. Society right now and I break I mean.

just everything is coming down to race. everything is you're a racist you're I. mean just this week just this week in. Memphis there was a. African-American I think he was 20. something years old was Beat to Death by. four African-American police officers. and they're saying that the four. African-American police officers were. motivated by white supremacist yeah they. that they are white supremacist now how. are four African-American police.

officers white. supremacists well how does a president. and and and the sad thing Chris is. that and this is just my perspective and. I hope I'm wrong but it seems like the. majority of the US population that sees. this actually believes that four. africanamerican are white supremacists. they actually believe that yeah well.

they will believe anything that comes. out of CNN Fox News MSNBC whatever news. channel is is is is your cup of te. that's two Fox they're going to believe. anything if Tucker Carlson said it all. those people got to be true right has to. be true you know if Anderson Cooper says. it it's true for those people if Tucker. says it it's true for those people Y and. they're all Waring it's pathetic because. nobody's looking at all the different.

perspectives that and if you don't think. like me then I [ __ ] hate you yep you. just I mean you nailed all of it I look. at all of it even on my social media. account I have some I have liberal. account and I have my conservative. account I didn't know you had two. accounts I have way more than two. accounts but but the but the the echo. Chambers if you enter an echo Chambers. is probably the perfect way to say it is. that one of my accounts is is definitely.

Echo chamber and I've changed it a lot. too because I had to because it was way. too far my Valor for us social media. accounts so for for that 10 years when I. was doing a lot of the speaking out and. talking about stuff there was a lot of. things in there where I was like I was. way too over into you know that you know. cultural Marxist type way of thinking. you know victim mentality and everything. else I was in there on that social media. platform and it's not me and so I have.

been being a little bit more harsh on. that account just to try to bring it. into a more of a a generalized uh. middleof the road Echo chamber so I can. get a little bit of both sides into it. and right now I'm pretty much there and. so I don't really do very much one way. or the other I do speak out so on drag. queens some my other stuff but for that. account now to valid for us account is. kind of middle but it's still I still. bash by Biden in the administration just. like I B Trump in his administration. just like I said if the Admiral made a.

mistake I'm going to call it out when. Trump did stuff I would call it out when. Biden dust up I'm going to call it out. I'm not either one I'm an independent. you know and I'm Proud to be an. independent because I'm not going to let. you talk me I know who to vote. for those political parties are are. packs they're not political parties. they're not political at all well that's. ex is. it an echo Chambers is absolutely the. correct terminology yeah you you know. because I mean let's look at it like. this what was it maybe five four or five.

months ago Kanye West right was all over. the news yeah now now they're saying. he's a white supremacist or or I don't. know I about he wasn't talking about. Jews he wasn't even talking about Jewish. or I think what the what the point I'm. trying to make is is that this is the. kind of [ __ ] that I've seen Americans. fall into time and time and time again. you know let's talk about about the. beginning of Co MH you know when all. these celebrities were speaking up about.

the vaccine and The Mask mandates and. they they wanted everybody to wear the. masks and they wanted everybody to do. the vaccination and the conservative. side of the house was saying I don't. give a [ __ ] you know I don't care what. you have to say you're a celebr you're a. you're a you're a musician or you're a. football player or you're a basketball. player or you're an MLB player I don't. care what you have to say get on the. field and run the [ __ ] ball or get on.

the field and Pitch you know pitch. strikeouts get on the stage and. entertain me I don't care what you have. to say about your your about anything. with politics Co are you a doctor no but. the minute the very. minute that one of them switches sides. and they speak out against the vaccine. or against the mass mandate. you know as long as it falls in line. with what you believe then all of a.

sudden it's okay now we want to hear. what you have to say and then we saw it. again with Kanye West what do and and. you know I'm middle of the road too I. lean more on the conservative side. that's how I grew up I have conservative. values but I am middle of the road and. so I'm I I'm harder on conservatives. than I am on liberals yeah because. that's kind of you know that's that's. where a lot of my values lie not all of. them but a lot of them and then I saw.

the stuff with Kanye West what have we. heard ever since ever since the first. presidential debate which actually there. was only one I think last time but it. was Joe Biden is his mental state is off. he's not capable of being the president. because of his mental state there's. nothing going on upstairs he's got. dementia he's too old he can't think. he's mentally he's mentally that was one. whole slowing down you know what I mean.

he's he's lost his. mind isn't Kanye West like a diagnosed. schizophrenic oh I didn't know that he. may I may be off I may be off but he. definitely I know for a fact he's talked. about his bipolar disorder yeah which. would be right. yeah so but we we can't listen we're. going to go off and throw a [ __ ] fit. about Joe Biden and how nobody should. listen to him and I agree with him I.

agree with him I do think that he's. mentally off but then when Kanye West. comes around who's I'm sorry who's. diagnosed not diagnosed schizophrenic. diagnosed bipolar yeah another mental. disorder we're going to we're just going. to eat every [ __ ] word that comes out. of that man's mouth because it falls in. line with exactly what the [ __ ] we say. mhm and. and when I see this [ __ ] man and it's. this just that's just a couple of.

examples but when I see this stuff and. I'm like this isn't my [ __ ] party man. yeah I'm not you see all these people. you know these are all a bunch of. Hypocrites every [ __ ] one of them. yeah the um terker Carlson when I was on. his show the other day he uh I had a. whole bunch of them on that side the CNN. group were just mad at me for doing that.

and I said what did you hear what I said. they said no I don't listen to that I. said well if you heard what I said you. probably understand why I went on there. I said just listen to it I said when on. there basically say I don't want to do. this anymore I basically talked about. CNN and and fox and I said I don't want. to be here because everything I say on. here is going to be a lie I said what. does that mean I said if you watch. anything that I did on CNN you know for. whatever years passed they're it's all. lies I said it's not me lying it's the.

fact that they can edit and they do. whatever they want with it they can. build narratives out of whatever just. like this show right here if somebody. only listens to a snippet that you put. out there depending on what snippet you. put you could paint me as a evil bad bad. person or you could paint me as a really. good person or you could paint me as one. of the coolest seals that ever lived or. the biggest jerk seal that ever lived. and that's what I'm saying is that when. you do these things on CNN or fox or. wherever you're going I don't want to do.

this anymore cuz I don't believe what. you guys are pedling on either side I. said but I do get a kick out of Tucker. because he has pretty good humor and he. does come up with some good points. sometimes to make me think now I don't. believe what he says just because he. says it he makes me think about some. stuff and then I have to go research and. I figure some stuff out and I find out. my own that's what everybody should be. doing but nobody does that CU we live in. like this McDonald's fast food society. that if I can get that Big Mac for a. dollar then I'm going to eat that Big. Mac that's all I need says yeah but it's.

it's it's not good for you there's so. much stuff in that thing that's really. hurting you that you really need to. figure out if you like the Big Macs. figure out why you like it okay I like. the salad I like that thousand dressing. you put on I like this I like that okay. well go make it yourself and you'll make. it better because you can use do organic. or natural stuff you got from your. farmer it'll be a lot better for you no. it's just but we just want it handy we. want it easy I think nobody wants to. dig the sad thing.

is you cannot fix. stupidity and that's what's Happening. Here cognitive. dissonance is probably the exactly what. it is is that they've been in Echo. Chambers for so long it's all they have. well we did it as a society you know for. how many even when you're in when you're. in grade school and they give you the. glob or they talk about the man on the. moon they talk all the stuff they teach. you in grade school about stuff that I.

could challenge right now you know they. teach a lot of stuff that we hear over. and over and over again that we just we. take it for granted that's what happened. when did the Chinese land on the. moon I have no idea. 2013 did you ever see the. video no so the Chinese landing on the. moon in. 2013 and they released a video for it. but pretty quick that video was Tak down. and they said no it's just because it. was so bad it was so fake because they.

didn't have you know Kubrick you. know well that's another discussion you. need a better you need a better. production staff and better cameras if. you guys want to fake this yeah you know. that's another discussion but but do you. want to dig into your career as a seal. yeah yeah yeah I mean we just did a lot. of other stuff and I don't we did let's. let's take a break and then let's get. back on track we'll go over seal. career this episode of the Shawn Ryan.

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hp.com. Sean all right Chris we're back from the. break and I. really I want to dive into your seal. career because you've had. a very. unique. and you've had a very unique successful. career is a seal and it's like nothing. that I've heard before I don't know.

everything about it but I know you've. been on some very some fascinating. projects you've seen a lot of combat you. know and and I want to show how. accomplished you are as as a seal and as. a human to the community so so I'm. supposed to talk about all the stuff I. don't talk about you're supposed to talk. about all the stuff that you don't talk. about are you good with that yeah it's. fine yeah so let's go back back to you. went from VMI to. Alford and then you joined the Navy yeah.

so so Desert Shield Desert Storm it was. kicking off and uh just like you know. every anybody who's a you know Patriot. wouldn't raise her hand because a war is. going on so I raised my hand and I went. to war you know I joined and uh when I. joined I went right into boot camp I. went into the recruiting office and I. told him I said hey this is going on and. I want to join and I want to be part of. it and uh W the seals and it was a navy. recruiter and he was like well nobody. really makes it through that and uh.

there's a lot of other things you can do. and I was like no I maybe it's it's fine. and I said how do I do that and he says. well go to boot camp and in that boot. camp you can raise your hand that was. the time period I joined and uh they'll. give you a test at boot camp and if you. pass that test then they'll give you. orders that you can go and I was like. okay I'll do that he said all right sign. up so I signed up I write down and I. shift out like two or three weeks later. and um so I went to boot camp and uh I. was a rcpo which is just like the leader. of your boot camp class they used to.

always get around and call me. rcpo cuz uh during boot camp it was like. the worst training I've ever been. through it was just a big waste of time. for. me this episode of the Shawn Ryan Show. is also sponsored by hmn you've heard. the buzz about Ketone supplements and. how they can boost your workouts by. helping your body use fatty acids for. fuel you've probably heard them on this. show because they sponsor this show I.

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right so I don't need to learn how to. fall my clothes and clean stuff up and. do that or follow orders or March or any. of it it's a huge waste of time so uh I. you know as I was there as the rcpo and. I was leading a lot of stuff and they. knew that I could lead I knew I could do. all the stuff the the company commanders. the guys that were running the boot camp. they uh kind of started laxing off on me. a little bit and they started like let. me do stuff and so I told them I said. hey you guys are having this March and. sometimes we run and we do little. workouts but I'm getting really bad out. of shape and this is just too long for. me I got to work out and so they said.

okay they said we'll have blocks of time. and you can do whatever you need to do. and so I had all my own time and I was. doing push-ups and I was work it out you. know and uh it was pretty cool so that. that's why they started making jokes and. rcop because it was like I was special I. could do my own workouts I so any one of. y'all that want to do it with me you can. and nobody wanted to cuz it was hard you. know and uh so I left boot camp like. that and. uh I was I went in there as a e3 because.

I had college degree and so I was. already starting out as as a e3 okay and. I enlisted on purpose because I didn't. want to be an officer and uh because I. also was studying a lot of that and I. didn't see the officer route as. something I wanted to do because I still. was I'm a I'm a digger you know I work. on all my own Harley and I do mechanic. stuff and I worked on the farm and it's. like I'm not going to sit there in an. office and push paper and just tell. everybody what to do I'm going to do it. and so I enlisted so I'm an E3 so I go.

to Buds and uh in buds I think I made E4. during third phase I took the test. during third I mean it was fast. everything was so quick yeah and so I. made I made the next Rank and I think it. was right then did I make E4 in buds it. was like really quick after it was. really fast now I'm thinking back 30. years now and I think about this stuff. but I did make E4 really fast I went up. ranks really quick the testing because I. can take tests I can pass tests you know.

what I mean yeah you've been what it was. I could just take the test and I'd get. the highest grade and I'd have you know. I'd as it you know so I made rank really. quick in the military so I graduated I. got in the v I'm in vods and I'm I'm. kicking bot and um I remember a Four. Mile Run do you remember your time in a. Four Mile runs and I think it was like. 24 minutes yeah I was 24 minutes so I. was running in 6 Minute miles in the S. with bhon and I was pretty quick and in. the O course I was doing that really.

quick too I think it was like six. minutes or something and then the um. swimming I was the fastest swimmer you. know me and my swim buddy no [ __ ]. plumber so I was I was crushing. everything and so as far as graduating. number one I graduated number one you. were the honor. man D they have that then they did but. it was they changed some of the stuff. the way they did it and honor man wasn't. fully based on your performance for all. that they took the shooting section that.

we did on third phase out in the island. and they made that like 50% of your. honor man grade and everything else was. the other 50 and so if it would they did. the old ways or the new ways now I think. they found out there was a mistake you. can't do that because the guns were. shooting out there they're just it's. guns that you get out of the Armory and. like I whatever I was doing I'm a good. shooter and I was just shooting like. crap and I was like this it's the gun. and they would always yell at me that. it's not the gun and then they I'd be.

like I'm a good shooter and this thing. is just it's just it's a worn Barrel. this is just a crap gun you know and. it's it's totally plausible because. those guns are they're just beater Buds. Guns you know they're not good guns and. so there was this officer who was crap. athlete that ended up shooting like. super expert the guy was a great shot. and I give it to him that the dude was. an expert shooter you know and mine was. like was a little lower and so they said.

well that's honor man because he's the. best shooter what SEALs we got to shoot. that's what we do so he's the honor man. and it was because I was always telling. him I was always calling him out and. rais my hand and saying that's [ __ ]. and that and that and I was not easy to. get along with they didn't want me to be. on man yeah but I was number one in this. did so they gave me my choice of orders. so right out the gate I had my first. choice Seal Team One why did you pick. one one it was the hardest team what do. you mean perception perception was team. one and team two were the toughest teams.

I lived in Virginia I know all that. stuff I didn't really want to be in. Virginia I wanted to stay in California. because I don't know anything about it. and it was just something different you. know so I Pi I could pick team one or. team two is what I wanted was one of. those two teams because they were the. strictest they were the hardest they. were the ones that were the historical. Legacy teams and they were hardcore. those two teams compared to all the. other teams I me make sense you know you. you pick VMI yeah because the beating it. kind of team and until just now never.

realize that until just now I never. realized that you can tell just now in. this moment when I yeah when I'm sitting. there looking at and go and then when. Nick was telling me that I wallow in. misery it's like well what's the. toughest one and so I went to faculty's. team you know Mastery faculty you know. and he was tough man he would freaking. Tony leer was wearing a ball cap and a. pair of sunglasses one time and he got. like in trouble for wearing a ball cap.

you know that it was like if you don't. do it the team way and faculty's way and. WR by the book you're going to get lit. up especially as a new guy they were. strict you know that's the 90s 1990s. SEAL Teams were way different what you. have now the 1990s teams are different. than the 2000 teams even when we started. going to war everything started really. changing when I was a team one we used. to go to drmo the where all the old. equipment was given at Camp Pendleton. for the Marine Corps so the seal teams. in the 90s we were getting the old.

Marine Corps throwaway equipment and we. would take that equipment into the. parachute Loft and have those guys sew. it all up the guys that sew their. parachutes and I'm I'm explain a little. bit for the the civilians out there that. don't know what a parachute KN is but. basically there's a bunch of guys in. there that sew the parachutes and fix. the parachutes with these big machines. so we would take all the old equipment. this lbe and this straps and harnesses. and all the stuff from the Marine. we'd bring this big pile of stuff into. the parachute Loft and we would explain. to the rigger what we wanted you know.

what it to carry and how it would look. and how it fit and it was all custom. built to us this is before London Bridge. this is before all the fancy equipment. damn the fancy equipment happened. because of the SEAL Teams all those guys. and all that equipment because we kept. modifying everything everything we did. we modified and so the modifications. were so intense and so good some of. those parachute rivers and some of the. Seal Team guys there were parachute. rigers that were doing it they went. after the teams they went and they built. companies so there literally what was.

the I mean this is like the complete. opposite of when I showed up when I. showed up we had everything we had no. money we had no nothing the Marine the. Marine Corps had more funding or the. Marine I mean when I showed up there was. there was no budget it's it it appeared. to me there was Zero budget well it was. less budget than we had it was more. budget than we had before that so the. Marines had more equipment better stuff. because they're combat they're like. Rangers for us for the Navy the Navy.

Seals we're on our own and we're funded. through Socom and all the other stuff. the Marine Corp has its own funding so. they buy whatever they want we get all. our funding from Socom in a big Navy big. Navy hates us they don't give us any. money so back in those days was before. the glamour seals and before it was. really like the Hollywood stuff and. everybody thought seals were awesome. back then seals were still pretty cool. but we never talked about being seals. either if we were in a bar and we're not. in Coronado where everybody kind of. knows or Virginia Beach where everybody. kind of knows when we were anywhere else.

we tried not to be seals nobody wore any. seel team gear if anybody ask us hey. what are you guys doing here what are. you up to there was always cover stories. there was always stuff we would say and. it was like balloon uh balloon pilot. training you know was a good dolphin. waxer yeah we had weird stuff we would. say and we talk about that and some guys. would say oh yeah I'm a Navy SEAL and. they'd wear this stuff and but most of. it most guys didn't we'd wear it around. around cornado and something or your. team because we're proud of your team. you know the hats and stuff but not very.

much it's nothing like it is today and. there was books but there wasn't like a. lot of books yeah and so there was maybe. like a maybe 20 books and everybody. gives all the seals crap about writing. all these books you know but they even. give me crap about writing a book that I. wrote but the book that I wrote has. nothing to do with the seals really and. it's not me bragging it's me just. telling like if I ever wrote and a lot. of books that Seal Team guys write just. leadership and stuff Joo wrote some book. and it's about some stuff and there's. all these guys writing these books but. it's not a whole lot of Seal Team stuff.

so everybody gives us crap for writing. books is because we write books because. we have a lot of knowledge and. experience and we did things that not a. lot of people do yeah and we're able to. put it down on paper and make it make. sense and it turns into a recipe for. people to do better in their lives. what's wrong with that nothing you're. concept as a show it's same thing it's. freaking ridiculous that SEALS or. something somehow under a microscope. that you guys write too many books well. you don't give crap to all the doctors. that write books or the lawyers that. write books or anybody if you have a.

profession that's very focused all those. guys that have that professional out. write books I just I don't get that part. of it I don't know why I don't think has. anything to do with people writing the. book I think it has more to do with they. weren't the one to write the book or. just jealous yeah just jealous pure. jealous or the fact that somebody's. making some money off of something that. we all do like the book that most of the. books that we write guys right on. leadership even the mccraven book when. he starts going through all the stuff. it's like that's all the stuff that we. all do you know we just didn't write it.

down that's all so we all have the. knowledge and and the stuff that we do. like I was telling you about polishing. the turd back in the seal teams in the. 90s we did have to polish of turds that. was a quan Huts in Nyland did you go to. nland we did yeah so you know the. building they have in Island right now. so I was there before that building and. it was all Quant huts these old crappy. uh metal buildings from World War II. that were given to us by the army or. something but so and these things were.

like basically dirt floors and these old. those metal um uh racks where there were. bunk beds and we had to have people. sleeping the top and bottom bunk in. those days and it was just terrible it. was this crap what kind of what kind of. mission set was there pre 9/11 it was a. lot of fear it was a for foreign. internal defense was like one of the. main missions you know and it's a. valuable mission that we kind of lack. off on a lot where every country in the. world you know Seal Team 4 would do. South America all the special ops in.

South America Seal Team Four Seal Team 2. had all of Europe and Northern Europe. Seal Team three had the Middle East Seal. Team one we had um the Far East so the. Philippines and Thailand and Fun Stuff. um Seal Team 3 had Middle East with um. the other guys and they did a little bit. of stuff in um India and getting that. far so they went Middle East to India. and over and there sometimes they did. Australia and some other places but. every team had a specific geographical. location that we worked in and then. which was great because I went to.

Thailand a few times and so the ti seals. I got to know them and we were working. with them enough and it was all the same. guys and it made it really good camarad. between us and the Tai seals we were. giving them tactics and procedures and. stuff that we could share with them and. they were getting better at their job. and become better friends with Americans. so they no longer saw us as Ugly. Americans we were like hey those. Americans are cool they taught us stuff. so FID was very good and the world peace. is not going to be done through War it's.

going to be done through FID it'll be. done through US cooperating with other. groups and communicating and working. with them that's how you make peace you. don't make peace by bullets and that's. what we were better back then because we. were very um aware of all the stuff. going on we were there also spread. really far out so if something did. happen anywhere you could immediately. have a Seal Team platoon with in like 20. or 30 minutes from being on Target and. that was another one of the missions did. that ever happen yeah to you uh a few.

times almost but then the damn neck guys. or somebody else highp speed would come. out and get it oh and so it kind of piss. us off you those can you talk about what. one of those would have been um there. was a rescuees and stuff Panama uh I was. a little bit I went to Panama a couple. times I was there a little bit after but. it would Panama Team guys were there and. Dam Neck was there and it was it was big. so that was a bigger one but there was a.

lot of little ones that would happen. that if it went on long enough then they. would get somebody else to do it and the. Marines would also get those missions. before to seal sometimes back in those. days you know because that was it was. more their mission to do that real fast. stuff because they're an expeditionary. Force which everybody loses and they. don't understand what that really means. what that means is the Marines are are a. package of everything they don't need. anybody they have all the airplanes. boats they have all the artillery they. have everything they need to fully go. and be there plop and they're they're.

they can do all of it seals can't we. need them so we need the Marines more. than Marines need. us the we need the Army more than the. Army needs us we need the Navy more than. Navy needs us but we're pretty awesome. group because we did start specializing. into stuff and that's when you start. going into the damnet mission some of. the other stuff uh the um Beach. reconnaissance mission from world War II. is why we even started was about Beach. Recon and about us doing water work and. we got away from that now the beach.

Recon we've been doing since World War. II and saving lives so as a ship pulls. up or elac or any of the landing craft. or anything that's going on as they pull. up to the beach they would hit um the. coral reefs or whatever and they thought. that now it's cor we're on ground and. it' put down on the ramp and everybody. just run off the end of the ramp and go. into 50 ft deep water and. drowned and so that was when they said. we need to have somebody out here and so. that's a sneaky peak of UD guys and so. and even them I would raise my hand and. say this isn't the way to do it so we've.

been doing beach reconnaissant in World. War II and when I was at Seal Team 1 I. came up with a way to do uh the beach. gradients so do you remember doing Beach. gradients when you did the hydrographic. Recons during months so how did you. figure out the beach gradients we had a. lead. line a 3ot lead. line I don't remember how long it was no. no I'm talking about the gradient I'm. not I'm not talking about in the water. when you get out of the water you can't. do a leadline anymore so you have to. figure out when you get on the beach a.

lot of these beach craft especially the. um the Els and the uh I I don't remember. ever actually okay so we get out of the. water you hit the actual beach now the. beach can be this deep and it can be. this deep it can be really shallow. almost nothing now if you have an elcat. elcat can't land on the beach that's. more than like a 1 to four Ratio or. something so it's one foot up and four. that way it's pretty shallow it's not a. real steep Beach. some of the other craft can go on the. steeper ones because elcat tries to get. down a really steep Beach is it can go. up there and fall off go up and fall off. it can't do it you know what I'm saying.

yeah so that beach grading is very. important to to tell them what they can. actually do when they get to the beach. so it's a very important thing the way. we've been doing it since World War II. was what we trained during buds we say. well that beach gr and they tell you and. they show you kind of what they look. like and then we just kind of guess and. so I came up with an exact method to. really show what the gradiate really is. how you do that it's it's it's not very. hard I said when we go up on the beach. and you do it what you need to do is you.

need to get your weapon and mark off and. it was about 3 feet was it a sight you. get a three- foot marker it can be on. your lead line it can be on your weapon. a piece of tape or your spot in your. weapon and what you do is you kneel down. you sight that spot up the beach until. you can see where the where the sand. meets that Mark and you have somebody. Mark that Mark then what you do is you. go from that Mark from where you sat. kneel down you Pace off from there one. one pace is 3et two paces is 6 feet and. you go all the way up to there so you're. doing a 3ot measurement here and then. you're pacing off and you just divide it.

that's your Beach gradient interesting. so if it's only if it's a if it's a 1 to. 10 Beach you go it was 3 feet and it did. 10 Paces so it's one to 10 it's almost. an exact Beach gradient they never had. that before it's in the books right now. in war com the training mag gos as a. Beck method for determining Beach. gradients and you came up with that yeah. because from World War II all way up. until I came along everybody said well. this is the way we do it that's a 1 to. 10 that's a 1 to 20 that's a 1 to 40 I.

go yeah but how did you measure it how'. you measure. it they're. guessing I gave them an exact method. damn so why didn't anybody think of that. before it's because I'm kind of a. troublemaker and I raised my hand and. said we need to be able to measure that. and so I sat down and I thought about it. and I figured it out I said it's just. this and I said we already do Pace. counts just use your pace count and. measure it. eyeball wow and the simple things like.

that that people just take for granted. because you say this is the way we do it. let's keep doing it well there might be. a better way out there you know don't. tell me how to do it tell me what you. need and that's the problem right now in. politics and everything else is. everybody's telling everybody and. nobody's actually looking at it and. scratching below the surface you know. okay so that's team one right did all. that at Team One what was. the we don't have to go through through. everything you have a long career but I. am very but I'm giving you like the the. reasons why I never had to ask for. orders I was recruited to every command.

was because of that you were. specifically recruited to every single. command that you want to I never. volunteered for anything I was asked to. go everywhere really yeah so SE team one. I did that I I picked it because I they. gave me a choice so I didn't ask for it. I said I want team one they gave it to. me when I was at team one I was doing. stuff like that with the beach cadium I. was also doing doing really heavy. Mission planning I was doing all the. photo and Intel stuff I was really heavy. into it I was really good at it and. everybody knew it so if they ever wanted.

to have a mission I had to plan a. mission to get me if they ever wanted to. win an event for the uh raging rhinos. did you guys do you were East Coast. right yeah I don't know why I just did. that I knew you're East Coast did you. guys do Raging rhinos every Friday and. have a keg and beer at the end we called. them monster mashes Monster Match same. thing raging Rhino Monster Mash and a. keg beer at the end every Friday so if. anybody ever wanted to win that if we. had shooting involved or anything where. was athletic and shooting and everything. all combined if they wanted to win they. got. me every officer knew that if you were.

on your platoon if I went to your. platoon then I would take you from like. a C or D rating and you would be a A1. rating as soon as I showed up I had. every. qualification and the reason I had every. qualification is because they knew the. Seal team platoon commanders knew it we. need this call if we send him freef fall. jump Master for example how many Seal. Team guys failed at a free fall jump. Master it's a hard course and we needed. that qualification for our platoon so LT.

said hey Beck we need to send you free. fall jump master and I was like all. right I'll go and why did they send me. because they knew I could pass and we. needed the call and it happened in every. platoon so we need the call Beck go do. that call and I would get it and I had. it under my belt and the platoon is A1. now we can deploy or C1 or whatever the. number is D but automatically bring it. off to platoon to Deployable. status it's weird I mean you're telling. me this and I'm thinking like this guy's.

arrogant to be telling me that he's the. best at you know what I mean who me no. I'm just telling you but it makes what. I'm saying is it makes perfect sense no. but I'm te I can test I told it's not. arrogance makes perfect s i just test. you know and so because I had all the. qualifications I was requested a lot and. so now with the mission planning I was. doing I was an Intel guy in the first. two platoon and I went to first. lieutenant um engineering for you guys. then I did some air stuff then I did. coms and I did everything you could do. on a. platoon all of it I even did medical and.

I wasn't medical trained I was a. secondary medical with a um a Corman. what's IDC so we had an IDC Corman then. I was a secondary. Corman corman's a dock for people do so. I did all that stuff and it was like so. I try to do everything because I wanted. to have qualifications and I wanted to. know exactly how to do everything. everything any team guy could ever do. even diving I was a dive guy for a while. and dive soup and everything else. but when they were doing Mission.

planning uh. systems I did a bunch of other stuff too. but they were doing Mission planning. systems at the headquarters and it was. called swamps special Warfare automated. Mission planning system and a lot of you. guys out your seals you remember. swamps so the warn officer was in charge. of the swamps program gave this company. a California microwave and some of this. stuff is coming back right now I'm going. holy cow how do I remember that they. gave him like 10 or12 million to. automate Mission planning and so they.

were building a system with all these. computers and all stuff and remember. 1998 99 2000 computers were not a big. deal you know we didn't have any. computers in the SEAL Teams we used a. lot of dry erase not even dry erase it. was um wax pencils with um the. lamination paper over a blank piece you. know and I made those special too and. everybody worked with those. it was s such a bad program and it was. so terrible that I started on because I. built my own computers too on the side I.

would buy all the parts and I would. build computers and I would give them to. people you know sell them to people so I. buil all my own computers and and they. all knew I did that they knew I was a. freaking weirdo so the warant officer. called me up down at seel Team ju and. said hey hey y be uh I'd like you to. come up here to warcom and work with me. on Mission planning and I was like well. I've been at seel team one for 9 years. now now and I was going to go to another. command anyway so yeah that's cool and. so I went to warcom I went to the. headquarters to do Mission planning.

system the Admiral and everybody sitting. around the table and this is when I was. building every weekend I would go home. and on weekends I was building the. program that I was going to try to use. because these guys were failing so at. the final thing the final Mark when they. were saying you have to make this thing. work or the contract is void we can't. we're not going to continue this so I. built mine all up and so these guys were. sitting in a California microwave and. they had windows up and it was like. Windows 98 or the other one or it was an. old window no it wasn't me 98 it was the.

special one they made for businesses. can't remember what it's called now but. they had the stuff up there and they had. the board up there and they're showing. it and they're going here's the mission. planning system swamps automated Mission. planning system for seals and they start. the computer up and they start doing. some stuff on it and then boom blue. screen to death and they said well wait. a second wait a second and they restart. and they do all the stuff and they start. doing it again and like five minutes lat. screen it death and Admiral sitting. there and all the captains and all it. was a huge Gus gusen I think was there. too and Gus was awesome I got to tell. you a story about him but well something.

he said that was very very valuable. remind me that but so we're all sitting. around the table and watching these guys. just fail fail brilliantly and um I said. hey. um Warren uh Warren Wells I was like you. know can I can I plug in and while. they're trying to fix her stuff they can. go onside and work on their stuff can I. plug in and just show you some stuff. and nobody's seen it. yet and so I plug in and I go hey here's. a automated Mission Landing system for.

you I went and I started typing in I. said what kind of mission you want to do. and uh one of the captain was like uh. direct action and uh use some explosives. and uh have a boat insert and then uh. infill uh by foot uh da explosives get. out of there by foot get picked up by a. vehicle do and it was he just started. rattling off a bunch of stuff and I was. sitting there just typing in going. pulling down with mouse just and going. okay uh how what are we blowing up he. says uh and I said let's use 5 lbs of. explosive and went boom on the map and I.

had maps and everything a map went boom. this ring showed up I said here's a. safety ring there's a margin make sure. we're out of here by the time the. countdown goes on and all the stuff is. just flashing up Bo boom bo boom I said. okay ready for the uh let's do the um. brief fact and it's a brief fact is a. briefing we give before the PLO before. the platoon to make sure that we can. accept this mission to the high commands. the captains and Admirals so the brief I. let's do a brief fact and it's like. three slides and went and went okay. let's do the brief fact and PowerPoint. shows up has all the stuff on it and I.

start briefing a brief act I said okay. let's do a PL and I I said okay this is. now 12 size because I have to do more. stuff because now we have to teach the. platoon guys what the mission was to. make sure they get all the stuff I said. okay warning water there's a warning. water here's a brief fact there's a PL. there's all the stuff and I said. automated and the company was sitting. there just going they were just like. they just couldn't believe it and it was. was it was totally done and I said this. is all I was oh yeah we have a library. too I showed him a library of data and I. said it's all divided by uh the jobs.

that each platoon guy has and I've done. all these jobs so I know what we need I. said so each it had folders so it was a. f system of folders and each folder it. started out as first lieutenant. engineering and then you open that. folder up and it was everything you ever. need in there for all the boats Maritime. Ops all of it you go to Air Ops you go. to diving you go to coms you go to each. each one of them had a folder and. everything you ever need there was a. sniper folders there demo folders. everything you would do on a platoon was. in a. folder and so they said okay um the.

Admiral siter is going what do we do now. so they killed the contract the company. was fired they lost everything I think. they folded pretty quick after that and. we got all the money and basically they. went here $10 million to an E6 Chris. back and so I started running a program. and I ran a program and I was hard on. those guys it was uh Master Chief Bill. Hill he used to feed me all the time. because I would work through lunch so he. would bring lunch for himself and me. because I would do and I would go out.

the lunch I tried to go to lunch and I. just he like he say back just eat this. eat this peanut but and jel sandwich so. what you like the OG Tech guy for the. teams that's also why Dam Neck recruited. me Dam Neck recruited you too huh yeah. so like I said I got recruited every I. went. so the mission planning system was good. it was swamps then Socom saw it and. Socom was like well we want this for. everybody so they changed it you. developed this entire yeah in my garage. at home on weekends and then it was more.

of the concept and how to run it and how. to do it you don't want a fully. automated system you don't want AI or. anything in there it's really automatic. if it's automatic it'll fail if it's. automatic you're going to kill. everybody because if it's automatic. there's programs there's a logarithms. there's something in there right yeah so. I told him the whole thing automated. everything is just bad you have to have. a lot of people in between doing this. and deciding so while I was doing that. so I was typing a lot was trying to feed. the stuff that he was saying plus what I.

knew and how to execute the admission it. has to be in there you can't let a. computer run that the only thing I want. the computer to do was take my data and. stick on a PowerPoint so I can brief it. so I had a lot of macros and things all. built for that but um so work on Far Dam. I got all the money and then we started. building the program and Bill Hill and a. few other guys um there was another bill. and then it was it was Madness and I was. an E6 and I made Chief when I was there.

because they gave me like an award for. building the program Socom saw it they. wanted it so they changed the name of it. and we buffed it out so I made a whole. system for the Rangers I made a system. for special forces and it was all. different because I had to study those. guys and pull the whole Ranger handbook. and do a lot of stuff so I built the. systems gave to them give to them give. to them even in the Air Force PJ guys. and then so Socom was like well this is. awesome awesome swamps and I said well. and they changed the name to a mission. planning environment something oh. Special Operations Mission planning. environment swampy did you ever do.

Mission planning you use sampy yes well. on most of those briefings if you really. dug into the metadata my name was on. every one of those because I hid. metadata stuff so even to this day right. now 30 years later my program I built in. 1999 is still being used it's still. being used today yeah that's. amazing that's that's amazing at that. point I'm doing all that stuff and then. I'm sitting there giving the brief and. how a mission plan to all the master. Chiefs in the entire SEAL Teams all of.

them in this one room and uh they wanted. to see what was going on because this is. the newest flashiest Tech thing Mission. planning bring out Chief be and having. brief Mission planning so I started. briefing it and I was showing them all. the stuff and these guys are blowing. away and they're like holy cow this is. awesome because these are all the Crusty. old Master Chiefs just like they're. amazed cuz I could get it so fast so a. mission plan would take four to 6 hours. I could do it 20 minutes you know. because it was all there was at my. fingertips so the master CH were just. like holy cow this is awesome and and a. bunch of them started saying when are.

you up for orders you know you're my. team and so they all started saying that. and then they're saying hey stay because. we're going to go over uh detailing and. some other stuff that M Chief and you're. a chief so you should know some of this. stuff so I stayed with them in the. afternoon during their briefing when. they're doing the detailing when they. were showing how detailing and. everything works so the big Master Chief. from Tennessee from the big thing he was. sitting there talking about detailing. and when other Master Chief says well do. do an example and show us how this works. he says well hey chief back you might we. pull up your data and then we show them.

all the stuff you have and we find out. how can we detail you and I was like. okay and so he put my all my data up on. this on the screen I started going. through it but I saw my asab scores. which I aced they showed all my stuff in. buds 24 minute run and all the other. stuff they showed all the stuff I've. done and all my qualifications and all. of them were going holy cow. this is that's a hard charger and so. they started ask him for me and so team. five Master Chief said hey I want you to.

come team five and take a platoon I need. a chief I was like okay so they did me. orders right there as I was sitting down. because I said okay to Seal Team 5. Master Chief so I went to Seal Team 5 so. I met Seal Team 5 in two middle of 2000. and that's when I had Dave gogins as a. new guy and and a couple other ones but. so I was a team te five as a chief I. ride my Harley in the team five compound. I'd have somebody standing there if I. could I'd have somebody to open the door.

for me through the back gate I ride my. Harley right into the compound take a. right and go to the quanset hut that we. had oh yeah we were in Quan Hut at Team. five at the time too so we had the. little steel buildings the old crappy. buildings before they tore them all down. and built the beautiful buildings yeah. so I drive my Harley in there and park. it right in front of my the door to my. platoon Hut you know every day I'd ride. my Harley right on base right into. through the gate and in like right by. the door so it was pretty funny and. everybody saw it and they were like. that's just back whatever it was a.

Kickstart 1960 Harley it was a pan head. the pan head that belonged to Rocky. Carlock did you ever hear any stories. about Rocky Carlock I didn't yeah he was. a wild man he was probably the crest. like hardcore not Crest but the most. hardcore buds instructor that probably. ever lived he was Hardcore then he. became a police officer and um. elone I think or over there somewhere. but it was it was just the way I was. running stuff and and know was pretty. hard even when I was at Team five you.

know on the new guys so David goggin in. the beginning really hated my guts. because I would make them do stuff that. they didn't really know what I was doing. it for so in uh in in our area we had. lockers and stuff and I wouldn't let. them use our lockers so they had to live. out of peir bags I said you guys can. have PE bags in here and have them all. there but figure it out you know can't. use lockers you guys are new guys you. haven't earned them yet and that was the. only thing I'd say to him you didn't. earn them yet but I wanted them to learn. the parag stuff and how to do that so. when we had to do Flyway missions or do. something really hardcore they didn't.

know what I was doing but I was trying. to teach them the exact gear you needed. and how to pack it and make it. executable so you can goow out really. fast out on Mission if you have this. huge lockers like we have now tell a guy. right now to go in there and tell him. the mission we have to do and be ready. in 30 minutes they're going to have a. tough time cuz there's too much stuff. there's too much area they haven't. learned discipline of pack in the bags. and have it there set and all your. primary gear ready to rock and roll so. you can quickly throw it in the bag and. go now damn neck they do it pretty good.

because we do have it set up pretty well. like that and we have to because of our. contingency programs you know but it's. all like testing and stuff like that so. because damn neck is only a Development. Group they only experiment on equipment. so we just have to Fly Away really fast. to experiment on stuff so that's why but. um. so goggin was just they were all pissed. that I was making the new guys live out. of these bags and so after I don't. remember it was like a couple of weeks. or a month or whatever and I said yeah. use your lockers now and I said you got. this is what's going on because we have.

to go do these missions you got be able. to go out fast and then we had to go. right now pack up and get out and the. guy's like all right and the new guys. are all ready waiting outside and all. the old guys are in there looking. through lockers and trying to find stuff. and totally disorganized an hour later. all the old guys are there meeting the. new guys and new guys are laughing now. they know why I did it damn you know. what I mean and so stuff like that I. would also make these guys do on Ruck. marches I mean it carried out because. that's how I organized my locker and I. didn't just come up with that you had to. you know if you didn't you were just.

disorganized and it would take too much. time and so there was things I would do. as a chief that were kind of like man. what a jerk but it was like it wasn't. really to be a jerk it was because these. are things that I learned over the years. and it was like this you really need to. do that and you guys are new guys you. don't get it yet and this is all new. equipment for you so learn the equipment. learn your bags and get all organized. and be ready to rock and roll you know. that was a lesson yeah and it was a. whole bunch of stuff like that and I. also had him doing rock rock marches and. rock humps and stuff you know with 30.

pounds a lot and it was before the war. this is all before the war and uh after. it really kicked off those guys were. like just saying thank you it was like. CU we started doing rocks and we were. carrying a lot of [ __ ] you know and so. they were like well now we know why you. were doing that I was like all right but. now the teams were we've been in a war a. and they do a lot of that stuff anyway. the ' 90s teams were it was a little. different it was a little looser you. know cuz it wasn't the mission we. weren't at War yeah you know I going it. makes sense so that's team five I left. team five and I went to a special uh.

projects group and I was there for a. year and a half I think and I was there. doing sneaky peeky stuff it was all it. was all Plumber work you know and then. you talk about it at. all it was it was bugs and electronics. and video and surveillance and disguises. and um is this like. the asot program yeah okay asot ASO and. all those it was before the seals had.

our own program we started a special. projects group to build the program and. start doing it ourselves cuz before that. we had to go to the Army and use all. their. stuff you know what I mean before that. this program was I thought this program. was just what year is this around 023 23. man I loved that project yeah it was a. lot of cool stuff I didn't get to at the. level you were at but I had heard about. it and uh we started doing some training. with I wasn't at a huge level there was.

there was a couple of guys there it was. definitely they were better at than me. and it was more because. of more because of me more because of. who I was I wasn't always the best at. that at that time it was because I was. still coming out of the platoon and I. still had that you didn't switch the. mindset yeah I didn't I didn't do great. I did I did great and pieces of it I did. I I had a couple things I did there that. weren't awesome can you describe the. difference between a being in something.

like that in a in a regular platoon okay. regular for audience yeah so if you go. into special projects and and there's a. lot of them special projects could even. be the um triathlete guys you know. that's different it's a special project. so if you're in the platoon all you are. is a frog man you're shooting and. looting and you're working all the time. and training and all you're training for. is that mission is a mission of a direct. action a rescue uh Hydro Recon it's. Mission Focus special projects are all. the things outside of those Mission. focuses that are very specialized that.

you still need that um set of skills to. even be able to do the stuff that we're. doing outside of those skills and so. that would be like the. um the real deep water stuff and sneaky. stuff like if I was to uh destroy a. pipeline that goes from Russia into. Europe or something. I would be really good at that I could. do it so easy it wouldn't even be it. wouldn't even be a thought in my mind it. would be done just tell me to do it two.

hours later the thing's gone anywhere. along there if I want to shut down all. the communications on the entire eastern. coast of the United States I could do. that with one bomb and it wouldn't have. to be a very big one I could do it with. like two pounds of. C4 that's special projects it's taking. our skill set and doing something that's. so far outside of our skill set and so. when I before I even went there I. already went through some agency courses. CIA courses so I did target analysis and. a few other ones so I was already. introduced to the CIA which which some.

Team guys are are not all Team guys and. so I started really getting into that. really getting into like that target. analysis did you like that better than. the platoon oh yeah yeah cuz I lived in. the woods I isolated I'm alone I always. work better by myself even when I was in. Afghanistan I would just go off with a. turp and we' do misss it was me you know. just I always laugh when I watch that. blackhaw down thing when the guy's. riding a bicycle and he do you remember. that one scene and KN out down he's a.

sneaky guy and he rides a bicycle up and. he's doing the stuff and all you know. wearing the local attire and a big beard. like if you look at me in local attire. it's like yeah I was I was good at it. you have you have pictures of all this. stuff yeah got can I put them can you. get them to me I'll put them up yeah. there's some pictures I can give you. they'll be up right but it's not and. like and it does sound like I'm. egotistic I'm bragging about a buch of. stuff no it doesn't but it sets up it. sets up kind of why I even made it to. damn neck you know to experiment with.

all that cool stuff and the special. project of why I even got there was like. you have a guy coming out of you know. swamps and all the Intel stuff and every. master chief on Earth knows me because. of the stuff I'm doing I go to Team five. the biggest mistake I made at Team five. I should talk about that because I. really screwed up it was bad and it was. in one of my platoon. and it's one of the things I'll never. forgive myself for well I forgive myself. but I won't I don't let myself slide on. I'll never let it happen again I was in.

Sri Lanka and I lost to. AK-47 so and I was the only one doing. the mission so I was there with AO. shanan seal equivalents and we doing. across the beach thing and it was just. crushing waves it was like it was it was. nuts and I had an AK that wasn't mine. and had a it had a sling on it and you. know when you're swimming you're in. really big ocean you have to your sling. is your life to your weapon mhm and it. wasn't my sling and it broke and so as.

soon as it went it was like it went down. in the. ocean and so I'm going up on a beach. with all these Sri Lankans and then and. I finally meet up with somebody the guys. and I'm like. dude the AK is out there and I said I. know kind of where it's at and I said I. marked it from the spot on the beach I. know so I know the parallel I know kind. of about how far out it was was and so I. had a beach Lane I had a lane and so we. Mark all the lanes we start marking as. much as we can up on a beach so we can. do a search and so this is dark the. middle of the night so the next day we.

start doing searches and trying to find. it because it's an area we can search. you know luckily and uh I ended up like. out of my own pocket I rent scuba gear. for the entire platoon because we didn't. have dive gear out there so we go into. town we find a bunch of gear and we rent. everything and we're looking for it. wasn't a whole plon I think I only. bought like I ranted like six sets I. think few dive Paris to go out there and. start doing Jack's day. searches so I'm out there searching also. just with with snorkel and I'm just. diving I'm just Panic I'm just like oh.

man I I can't believe this is happening. and I was so pissed and so days are. going by and it's just so so like and a. third day I think and I'm just like. pissed at everybody I'm pissed at myself. and the whole platoon is like just like. I'm just scaring everybody because it's. just so it's so like you know and you're. just and it and it's starting to piss. him off and it's starting to really get. on them and uh so they lose confidence. in me it's all like it's just so bad so. I think I make up for that a little bit. though because I mean everybody screws. up and so I've beaten him up and I'm.

just like really bad but I'm down here. with snorkel I'm just doing this in dark. black and I felt something that felt. like seaweed and was like and I grab it. and I'm like and I wrap my hand on start. and it's the F it's the one is tubular. that was a sling so it's one is tubular. nylon which is just a a thin strap but. that much it's like a belt so I feel. that and I start tugging on it I get. part way out of the ground is the AK. Still hooked on the other end and so I. go up on the surface and I start yelling. it's here it's here and I'm yelling out. and a few guys start converging on me.

and now the currents pushed me off of it. and so everybody starts searching right. around where I was and I say to strap. it's about this far out of the water now. just do this and you guys are going to. hit the strap and find it so one of the. guys finally hit the strap and they pull. it up out of the water and hold it above. their head got it and I'm like oh God. it's just such a relief and it's all. rusty and it's nasty but it was under. like sand like this far just it was just. if it would have been one more day it. was gone cuz it was like I felt the. strap it was probably like that much I. pulled it out to about there and then. the other guy pulled the rest of the way.

out of the sand and um but at this time. I'm like uh it was just I I destroyed a. lot of confidence and I made the guys. really look at me like I was a freaking. idiot you know yeah and um I had a. similar experience it just and I didn't. know what to do and I was just like well. that's the same thing that I had from. growing up that those guys will never. know maybe they know now but it doesn't. it's no excuse. yeah you know I should have never let it. get that much and so my problem with my. um fear of failure my my abject my.

intense fear of failing or making a. mistake it just totally killed me in. that in that whole the tune it just made. it cuz I just I was so mad at myself and. so angry that none of those guys could. even talk to me barely and I was just so. like like I was like that all the time. like and I couldn't let it go and when. on on for a couple of weeks and then we. went back to Guam and I shot over to. Korea I think and then I was with all. those guys in Korea with only a smaller. group and there was no officers there it.

was just me in charge of the whole. Korean Expedition and those guys were. like all right well Beck is in such a. jerk and I still do good stuff and I. still and so it started liting up a. little bit but the officer in that. platoon would never let it go that guy. hated my gut so bad cuz he only has one. chance at a platoon you know pretty much. his platoon it's my platoon but I'm the. chief of platoon it's really my platoon. yeah you know you're a renter you rent. the locker I own the lockers I'm here.

for nine years you're here for a year. and a half you know those officers have. no ownership the Chiefs do the Chiefs. owned teams yeah and yeah I screwed up. but then as soon as I started recovering. a little bit he wouldn't let it slide he. just kept hammering me cuz he hated me. and then after that was just I couldn't. recover cuz now that officer talked to. all the other officers and it burned me. for pretty much any of the command. structure at the team you know what I. mean yeah it happened it was one mistake.

and I screwed up worse after the mistake. but then I'm recovering but now you. won't let me I ask for forgiveness and. you won't let me you know what I mean. yeah and he wouldn't let it go and to. this day that guy like if I see him I. just asse punch him in the face but the. funny part is that guy went down to. Jayhawk and they figured out who that. guy was and they hate him they started. having these really cruel bad nicknames. about this officer and really terrible.

so that guy ended up muddying up his. name so bad that he's just whatever you. know yeah so everything catches up if. that guy would have let it slide because. he was a good officer and would have. said hey punish me and do whatever and. then let's get on with it let's get on. with the business hand you know but he. wouldn't do that and so it just said. what kind of um person that person was. you know what I mean I do and so if. you're that kind of person deep in your. soul then it's going to show sometime. what it did show finally for that guy.

about four or five years later but for. me it showed the opposite because I'm. not that person it was just a. circumstance I was in for a very short. period of my life almost like all that. trans stuff you know it was like I had I. had this I had a hiccup and I had this. time period where I was really messing. up but nobody helped me cuz I was a. chief and a chief doesn't need help. and so all the guys are looking at me. just going what the heck and the. officers were just going and I was in. the middle just going well I'm Chief and. I should have done better and I didn't I.

screwed up yeah what can I do now to. make it up you can't do anything to make. it up you're a chief you should have. known better. well dude we're humans man everybody. messes up you know yeah even the Craven. messes up I don't want to talk about. that one but everybody messes up and. everybody that's that's a man if you can. man up to it and miss you messed up you. can fix it you can do better next time. but if you're like that officer and you. won't let it go you. know I fear failure and I'm terrified of.

it but if I do fail I immediately try to. if as fast as I can I try to fix it yeah. and then I try to do better and I won't. do that again I it always winds up. coming back around yeah you know yeah. okay so I'm at Team five and I get. enough the tune I do that I start doing. that and then the E6 who I I like a lot. Ernie he made chief as I've already been. doing a full workup with the second. platoon at Team five and the other one. they're giving me two Chief slots and so. I'm in my second Chief slot kicking ass.

and doing great and they all know it you. know cuz I'm good and I'm not that jerk. you know and so this guy makes Chief and. he makes it and we still have a lot of. work up left and we have the whole. deployment and when you know the way the. team spin we spin really fast and so if. he doesn't get his chief latoon right. now you know he might not it'll be. really hard for him to get one. you know and so I say hey um I'll step. down and I'll do something I'm in taught. in a Master Chief and I say hey he made. Chief when we start have like three. months left in the work up I went.

deploying I said it just wouldn't be. fair for me to take that opportunity. from him when there's other things I can. do because I've already done a chief of. a platoon you know I can do something. else he say a matter of fact we're. setting up squadrons and we need a task. unit Chief we want you to be task unit. Charlie and so I immediately leave that. platoon and then Ernie steps out he's a. chief and I step in and be tasking at. Charlie and the war starts this is my. time frame yeah so now it's 2001 and now.

I'm a task unit Chief and I'm also um. the head of uh all of the crypto so I'm. the crypto custodian for the entire Seal. Team they yeah for All Seal Team five. I'm crypto okay and I also have charge. of all of the. um all of the non seal deplorable. elements fall under me also as the uh. they called it the systems officer or. something can you describe it combat. systems officer or something can you. describe what crypto is to the civilian.

side of the audience so so all. Communications all of our radio traffic. all of our computer everything all. traffic if we have to send a signal out. it has to be encrypted if it's not. encrypted it's just it's it's you can. catch it we encrypt all the stuff even. civilians do it in companies between. places so that somebody in the middle. can grab it and get to Intel so the. crypto for SEAL Teams and for all of the. military is incredibly um sensitive and. it's incredibly classified the equipment.

it just like during World War II when we. got a hold of the Enigma machine you. know that's how important it is and. World War II um a British guy got a hold. of one of the German Nazi Enigma. machines once we got a hold of the. machine we can start taking it apart and. analyze it and try to figure it out so. we can break the code so if you figure. all the crypto equipment we have is is. incredibly sensitive and so you have to. keep really super track of it you have. to have a lot of other stuff so it's. double safe locked and all this other. stuff TPI two person integrity and I'm.

the only one that has a combinations to. the final crypto safe not even the. captain the team has it I have all the. stuff because you can't let anyone else. have it the only person above me that. has it would have been the group um CMS. custodian the guy that takes care of the. crypto for three SEAL Teams and all the. boat squadrons you know and that's the. way we ran. oh I also invented all the 3M stuff. automate 3M do you remember um the 3M. programs we had to do all the. maintenance the q1 checks and all that.

so the big Navy has all these things you. have to do quarterly checks you have to. do weekly checks you have to do daily. checks on equipment so you have your. camera equipment they have batteries in. it so if you're using equipment a lot. and a camera equipment you have to do. daily checks of your batteries to make. sure your batter is all plugged in and. doing that and that and that and how to. secure it and clean it and all that so. they used to make us do this stuff and. so I invented a whole way to do it. really short and automated and then I. also made it so it it's digital so you. didn't have to do it with pencils and if. you erased a sheet you had to throw the. whole sheet away even if you were almost.

done so if you did 99 marks on the sheet. and you one mistake Mark the whole thing. is done it's throw it away start over. and so I made it automated and. computerized the whole system and that. was another weird one so I did a lot of. this stuff and that's why people wanted. me because if there was a problem or. something needed to be done or if. something was just it was hard to use. just give it to me and I'll make it easy. to use the CNO of the Navy um had a. problem there working on for the drug. inter interdiction in in the ocean was.

really it's like you can't do it and a. lot of it's coming from uh South America. and these things and so the CNO they've. been working on this problem for like. two years and so a captain that knew. me knew that I did a lot of this stuff. and just weird stuff and actually this. was at damick though so I'm jumping a. little bit ahead but this is a similar. thing so they called me in and there. says hey you're um you're pretty good at. this stuff can you here's the problem. they drew it all up on the board they. showed me everything they had to do I. says and this is in the middle of. Pentagon and says let me go let me get a.

c coffee let me think for a little while. and says all right all right and says. well when how long do you want some time. I said give me a couple hours I'll see. you back after lunch I said just have. another meeting and I'm thinking I can. figure something out and so I figured it. out I figured out how to do it and they'. been working out for like 2 years holy. [ __ ] and and the stuff that I did had to. do was supply chain so I had to inject. something into the supply chain and then. I had to use signals and I had use. signals that were all around the earth.

that you couldn't really detect because. there was so much of. it I can't talk about it very serious. but yeah so it's a it's still a. classified project and it. works because of you because of what I. told him how to do it I invented a whole. another. system and it was uh it was micro doler. Nano and some other stuff and it was it. was some really cool stuff and I did it. and it's undetectable because it's using.

stuff that's there it's everywhere so. you can't find. it I kept doing this stuff all the time. oh the motor racks I I was first. attendant engineering guy taking care of. all the motors on an ARG so we were on a. ship an amphibious ready group and and I. was getting ready to go on Arc and this. is just before Christmas we were. deploying like January 3rd or something. so it's during Christmas break during. that time period And so I'm loading the. ship off and I go on there and I start. talking about the motors on and the. racks that they had for the motors to be. down in the well decks on a shift rock.

and roll in the ocean and they build. them out of these 2x8s and these 4x4s. and they build these things and I was. like and he said yeah you have to be. really careful with how you strap down. thatn and it's really big oceans they. sometimes break and your your Motors. might end up in the weld deck so. sometimes you got to put straps on them. and strap the motors to the wall of the. ship order to make them not crash and. and wreck all your Motors and I was like. well that's not a very good way to do it. I said this is six-month deployment and. I don't want my Motors to be all over. the ship deck and I was like well I'm.

going to make it out of steel and so I. went back to her to the engineering. place and I said I need a welder and. they said well we don't have that stuff. and I said well so I went out and I. bought a welder and I went out and. bought all the steel and I brought it. all back to command and I was there in. the middle of winter from Christmas to. New Year's welding CU I had to get it. there before New Year's cuz the ship was. being shut down down and we go so I had. this drop dead time of this I had to. have the rack so I welded up these giant. motor racks and I built them like this. and like this and so there was no things.

and you didn't have to have up and downs. and it made us you can grab the motors. off really easy do you know what motor. racks are still using those ones the. ones I built in 1996 they use them today. and all the motor RS I build are built. off of my Dimensions my build and I. bought my own Mo I bought the own welder. and I bought all the metal cuz it was. too fast they couldn't do it I got in. trouble for that the command said you. can't be going out there and spending. your own money and and doing stuff for. the team I got in a whole bunch of.

trouble for it and I told him I said but. I was it's my Aug and my Motors I don't. want them breaking I said I don't care. if I spent all that money and then the. captain was finally all right I'm done. yelling you go see the supply officer. and he'll write you. check so I end up paying me back for the. stuff but he yelled at me first you know. I was like come on captain can't. remember if that was um it wasn't. fitgerald it was just after him it was I. don't remember but it was like it was. like dude if you have a problem and you. have to invent something when we were we.

were doing car interdictions and I can. talk about this one because it's not. unclassified right now so doing car. interdictions how do we interject a car. that's moving going down the highway we. fly helicopters in the front and try to. stop them they go around and go out in. the field they and it's hard to stop a. car we use uh the 50 cal we try to shoot. the engine out when you shoot the engine. out the car is going 50 60 mil an hour. that kills everybody you know cuz the. car flips everything else happens we. usually kill everybody if we try to stop. a car going fast and so and they're. drawing all the stuff up on there and.

this guy Hondo is drawing up there and. trying to do the UAV and and he's trying. to fly these things and trying to. interdict these vehicles by a UAV or. something I said I says well how how are. you getting in that car how you keep. them up with it what what are we doing I. said we're flying the little birds I. said I've done this before and I said. what do you we want it to be something. We Carry in our gear so it has to be 40. mic mic it has to be something we can. shoot at them so I said what you do is. um and I started drawing on the board. and it's took me about an hour to think. of this project and they've already been.

working on this one for like months. trying to figure out how to interet. these cars without killing everybody and. so they gave me about an hour and I. started drawing up on dry race board and. I said do this do this I said we already. carry them I said plus we have the ones. that are that have a lot of rounds on. them the 40 Mike mik big one it has and. you can shoot like four or five rounds. real quick so and they were like well. you can't do that out of a helicopter. you can't interdict out of a helicopter. I says well I said give me a couple days. and so I went back and I got a. helicopter and I flew up there with a 40.

m mic and I started shooting cars out of. a. helicopter cuz I know people and I was a. Dam Neck so it was easy so we're we're. flying these helicopters we're shooting. cars out of the freaking helicopters and. I was shooting practice round so it was. it was the orange stuff but it was still. breaking the windshields was doing stuff. yeah so I drew up on there I said. basically it's a 40 mm grenade I say. what you want to do is you want to put a. hardened plastic cone in the front and. then you want to have where the. explosive stuff was and all that you. want to have a real heavy um a heavy. lead or he something heavy then have a.

projectile but it has to be a tube and. it has to have sharp edges around a tube. and then a heavy thing so when a 40mm. grenade hits even steel and you want to. hit the roof of the car don't hit the. windshields cuz then you can puncture. through the roof of the car because of. the inertia of it it'll go right through. cuz it's a hollow tube it goes all the. way through whatever inside that tube. will then disperse inside the car holy. [ __ ] and you know what meth e map is no. nobody does I do because I'm weird but.

and I said you guys can put stuff inside. of here and they're going to pull that. car over real quick they'll put the. brakes on and everybody get out and as. soon as you shoot it you land a. helicopter they all get out and you got. them you don't kill anybody damn if it's. not the right people they're outside the. car and they have some issues for a. little bit but you clean them off and. they have a little hole in the top their. car you give him 100 bucks and you go. away cuz there was a wrong car you're. not killing. everybody that was 1 hour and they gave.

me a. problem I there's about 10 other things. I can say but one was a little clas but. the other one's like dude keep this is. all easy stuff keep going this is. fascinating it was it was bunch of the. Iron Man project I mean this is some of. the most brilliant stuff that man this. is just another. I mean it's just nobody sitting across. from me has come up with this kind of. stuff I mean yeah there's been like.

phenomenal phenomenal you know operators. that have sat in that chair but this is. this is but none of those operators I. did it this is different it was in the. bowels of the Pentagon down a lot of. floors and in deep and they don't even. know I did it yeah the uh hostile forces. tracking targeting locating the entire. program for DOD wide was a budget of. like. 300 it was almost $400 million DOD wide. and so I'm there as a chief and they. know I'm really good at this stuff they.

call me up to the Pentagon I got in. trouble for this one too that was. um [ __ ] I remember his name it was one. of the commanders at damn neck it. doesn't matter it would be best if we. leave names out so mad at me for doing. it but on weekends I would drive my own. car up to the Pentagon and then the. Pentagon staff that was in char the. whole system the entire portfolio. portfolio wide which was a stack of of. programs like this much and each program. was only a quad chart was one sheet of.

paper with four sections it would show. you the company the prices all the stuff. it would show you the mission it would. show you all the stuff real quick a. quick outline of what it was they were. trying to build and this is all future. projects so we're spending $400 million. on and we're giving all the money to. North grman and all these freaking you. know thieves around the belt way you. know Beltway Bandits we're giving them. $400 million a year to invent all these. things for us to track people to locate. them track them and tag them and do all. the stuff and so they started calling me.

up there and actually the reason they. called me up there because one of them I. was going I was going up there and I saw. one of these things and I was like this. is stupid we already have something. better and the guy that was in charge of. the program was like what I saids yeah. just I we have something way better than. this I said why are you guys wasting all. the money on this I said you guys. wasting like $6 million on a stupid. project that we already have I said. they're double diffing it's the same. company they already gave it to us I. said they're double diffing it's left. hand not talking to the right hand and.

then the guy was like well I wonder how. many other projects in I said well let. me see the book so he brings me into the. skiff the secret compartment and then we. start flipping through the books I'm. going no no no uh that's okay but we. already have that spec that spec that. spec all we needed this so cut that. program down by at least half only give. him a couple million dollars and make. him do that one thing. I was going through the whole book. flipping through pages I did that for a. little while and I go was say hey can. you come up here and do this for with. all of us because it was only with him. he wanted more of a staff there so we. can start flipping through and rewrite.

the entire program so in about three or. four three weekends or four weekends I. went up there driving from Virginia. Beach up to DC to Pentagon and I would. stay at the Pentagon and just work like. 12 hours a day going through the books. and looking at everything and studying. and telling them and writing out all. numbers how much it should cost. I already know all the cost breakdowns I. can give you if that's trl6 I uh. technology read levels I can take you. where the technology R level is right. now for anything I can tell you where.

it'll be and how much it'll cost and. where it goes I can tell you if we. already have it right now if you give me. almost anything to portfolio for grman. or north north or grman um GD any of. them I did it for 3M so the 3M guys had. me up there and they started to ask me. about different things I was like I said. well the military never use that but if. you do this this and this the military. buy it like crazy and so I went to three. him and I gave him a whole bunch of the. same stuff rewrote the entire program.

fired a lot of companies and changed the. entire program and that was with um. Richardson down at Socom he he um had. Doug Richardson good guy like smart that. guy was really good at it he had a. warrant officer working for him he was. magnificent also he's probably running. the program now can't remember his name. Army warrant but give me the problem and. I'll solve it every time wow but it'll. it'll take me a little while sometimes. yeah and that goes into the problem I.

have right now with all the trans stuff. that I want to say that we're going to. get there but I want to say right now. that all of yall out there are just. saying this person it seems like. brilliant and has a lot of stuff going. on but it's also where I have a really. big failing too is that I start going. down rabbit holes and I start chasing it. I really dig in and I learn all about it. and then I get kind of stuck in it. sometimes well I was stuck in a lot of. that for a while and I got trapped and.

then it had to take me a long time to. fight out of it and that's what happened. you know that's that okay so Seal Team. five I'm there second task un Chief. crypto I'm running all the systems so. any Communications guy that's deployed. overseas they basically go fall under my. task unit under task unit Charlie. and so I'm in charge of everybody. overseas you're not a seal for the team. and all the crypto all the Raiders and. all the other stuff and that's what I. ran and then I also ran missions but.

because I wasn't in a platoon and I. wasn't attached to a task unit that was. directly with the combat missions the. actual mission on the ground I was in. charge of all the stuff behind the. mission that why when I was at Seal Team. 5 when I was deployed to Iraq I attached. to the agency again cuz I was sneaky. peing and doing little weird stuff. that's why if you if you see some of the. stuff I've given to the museums the. golden AK-47 magazine in the museum so. I'm the one that had it golden AK-47 and.

I'm walking around you know it's like I. was coming back with stuff because we. were in places with nobody else was at. yet so I was in like you know these. palaces before a lot of times before it. was even like amb done you know yeah it. was it was wacky stuff we doing comat it. was nuts you were inserted the craziest. thing before any of it happened. everything happened we were already. invaded so I was there in the beginning. of the invasion for so it was like what.

uh March April time frame of O of 03. right M so I was there during the whole. period and going there and I was flying. uavs oh that's the other thing I was. flying uavs I have a ton of invention. with those things too so I was one of. the first people to fly UAV and do um. call for fire Ford Observer so I was. Ford observing with a morar tube sitting. right there with a UAV. that was pretty cool nobody else did. they said you couldn't do it because. Mort's going to hit the UAV I was going. okay my UAV is this big the mortar is. this big and the sky is this big I said.

if it does hit the UAV we fine I said to. one in a billion chances if it does we. rre uavs all the time you know so it's. just one more that crashed I don't care. throw another one in the air and go the. thing cost five grand I mean they're. expensive we don't throw them away but. we do d damage them a lot you know. because we're in combat and so they were. like well okay let's try it and so I. still doing ford observing with the UAV. they were like damn that's cool I said. we could chase people with this I said.

watch this let's chase a mortar and so. we started doing it so we could hit. moving vehicles with mortars and I said. just calling it in you know and it was. never been done out of sight this is. over the horizon so I'm flying uavs 12. 15 miles away and hitting stuff you know. and they're like damn you know I could. shoot with a 50 cal with a UAV and a 50. and you won't see it but we can drop. bullets in and hit people you know long. ways away and I can walk it in I can. just correct it and go okay go and start. going with a big Malu you know walking.

in yeah you know but we were doing stuff. like that with the uavs and I did a. bunch of other stuff with uavs that. probably not allowed to talk about some. of it but it was some cool stuff you. know okay so that's all team five what. what kind of stuff were you doing with. the agency can you talk about any of it. no not really all right let's move on. then but I went I I can talk about some. of it I mean it was it. was it's going through the same stuff. all the agency guys go you go through.

the farm and you do a bunch of the. training you do all the other stuff and. then you get reattached to teams and you. do this other stuff and you go it's you. start becoming a la on start doing all. the stuff and then I finally went over. um to Afghanistan and I was at a Seal. Team attached to the agency working all. of the BCPS and stuff so and because the. agency doesn't work in the war zone. whatp a border control Point border. checkpoint it's border control point I. think but they are at a high mountain. peaks that can look out across.

borders and then so we can still engage. and do the stuff we have to do but we're. the only ones who can do it because it. was under a different title so it's. title 10 or title you know uh 50 I'm. starting to mix up some but basically we. work under different um. authorities so it depends on who you're. attas to and how you have authorities. that's why the SE team is bring Coast. Guard guys whenever we're doing ship. interdiction doing anything out in the. ocean if it has that drug interdiction. Shi introdiction that stuff if you have. a coast guard with you it gives you.

authorities that we don't have as seals. okay and that's why we do that we bring. FBI guys with us because the FBI has. authorities that we don't have so as. long as they're attached we can do a lot. more it's a game in the system a little. bit but it works because they have. control and they have ultimate. responsibility and they know the systems. and they know what they can do and can't. do so it protects us and it make sure. that we're not doing anything stupid you. know but we can still do the missions. because it's a mission that has to be. done because it's for National Security.

yeah so I was doing those kind of. missions where it just kind of mixes up. and you're doing a lot of L and stuff. then I started doing disguise stuff and. like concealment devices and Building. Things that I can put in places that. nobody ever know it was there and would. have cameras and audio and different. things this the agency stuff yeah you. know it was um um Bullwinkle who is that. it's a funny joke that never mind I know. maybe only the agency guys would know.

that it's damn never it's it's just. funny stuff but the black bag stuff is. is a lot of stuff that we should have. been doing all along like really that's. what we're good at man we're really. sneaking we're very small we work in two. Man groups we work in Three Man groups. six Man groups not not very many more. than 32 so we're really small you know. yeah so if you want to go off by. yourself and do a mission in the seals. you can kind of do that you know you. can't do that in any other any other.

group you know even I don't even think. green Brays would ever do that very much. and I think it's just because we're like. we're Stormtroopers with with um you. know phds it's exactly what they wanted. to do with the agency when Cowboy um to. do that invented the the agency from OSS. what was his. name I don't remember now but he always. says the the person we want is going to. be a PhD that knows karate you know a.

PhD that can shoot a gun that's who they. want the agency and most of the seals I. know that's who we are yeah not anymore. but that's who we are we're thinkers and. we're smart but we also know how to use. the gun you know we know how to fight. you know and that's dangerous. combination that we can think and fight. you know know what I mean yeah so and. that's who we are the steel teams you. know that's definitely who I was and I'm. surprised you didn't get recruited by. them uh after your career or maybe you. did I yeah I I did stuff yeah so and.

actually I got recruited when I left the. teams too okay so so team five I was. doing all this stuff and then I went to. that special project I recruited to go. there and and I did good but then right. in the middle of that uh Dam Neck needed. some stuff and need just for everybody. listening you keep saying Dam Neck damn. NE is Development Group also known as. Team Six yeah so yeah so all the. nicknames and it's all we still use the. nicknames cuz we're supposed to be all. like sneaky but it's so silly yeah it's.

like everybody knows everything so cat. out of the. bag thank you President Obama yeah sorry. he led the cat out a lot more than. anyone El before him yeah when he said. who uh the Obama thing so I I left the. such a projects cuz they needed that. down down at Dam Neck and so I went. there specifically for tech only and I. was a Seal Team guy that he knew I could. deploy they knew I had all his knowledge. and he knew I could do the tech so they. how did you get recruited though so you. you didn't go through Green Team you. weren't a to operator or whatever over.

there but um they there's only even a. few people ever do that to you yeah how. did to not do green team what was that. conversation though a lot of a lot of. guys at Dam Neck are really angry about. it and they really they don't like me. well they didn't do green team whatever. they can't do anything that you're. [ __ ] doing I hey I'm sorry I got. smart with technology but they needed. some of that Tech they needed the stuff. to get them buffed up especially in the. UAV section well you're like the only. you're one of the only people I've ever.

met. who who. can I mean you just you're you have a. brilliant mind and so that combined with. with your experience and your knowledge. as a seal I mean and you combine that. [ __ ] that's what they did that's. priceless you cannot find that that's. why they wanted me that was all you know. I still kick doors you know I still did. you know stuff when I was at Dam Neck. you know yeah so Dam Neck basically you. just deploy over because you become an.

expert in in something and so I became. such an expertise that I was able to. leave Dam Neck and go to a team and help. them and so that's when I went overseas. with the team and that's when I went. with the agency because they just it. just happens man you start doing L and. work and you're talking to those guys. that and that and so you end up doing. some other work you know so flying uavs. I start doing some other stuff start. doing some sneaky peeky and then just. that's what happens you know and so I. always ended up going deeper into the. dark you know with those guys almost.

every time it was weird I don't know. what team did you go. to what Squadron did you go to uh red. and blue red and blue black yeah and. black I thought you were going to say. little black stuff you know because I. always kept you know needing whatever. and then I was running. tsse so I said technology group at Dam. Neck okay and so I was running all that. and I had H budget I ran the whole thing. yeah and because they put me in charge. of it and I was a Senior Chief at the. time so hey run this program and I think.

I had I the highest budget I ever had. was 600 million and I think when I was. at Dam Neck I. had I probably only had like 40 million. I think it wasn't that much but it was. enough to do the admission and. so buying and selling working with the. contractors and WR wrting contracts that. I had to do so because I had to do all. that I had to go to school for that so I. went to um it's called acquisition. University so I had to learn the entire. acquisition process which I did and uh I.

became an acquisition. Guru which also is kind of a weird thing. but it was how to write contracts and. how to do you know ID IQ and you know. Soul source and do that and do that and. I can run through all the stuff with. that and the problem with acquisition. which I found the problem is the horse. like it and anybody out there who does. acquisition and everybody at Pentagon. you guys are full of. [ __ ] they're wasting so much money right. I could cut the Pentagon budget I could.

take a quarter of the budget off right. now I could walk in there right now and. start cutting the budget and then within. a week I could cut them by 25% and it. wouldn't affect them Zero Effect at. all because of Contracting cuz there's. so much scam there's so much stuff going. on and double dipping and everything. else what going on and it's all stove. pipes so the Air Force is stove pipe. from everybody else the Navy stove pipe. from everybody else special operation. stove pipe then you have a special. operations to a fighte and that's why.

all these companies can make us double. dip and they do it all the time the. problem also is is like why are we the. ones paying for all the R&D and you guys. are sitting there taking all the. products and then you turn around and. sell them back to us so they should have. some skin in the game cuz they're the. ones going to end up making all the. money off it why are we paying all the. R&D we're taking all the risk that this. thing will fail you guys should be. taking some of the risk because you guys. get all the. profit that's how it would start cutting. some the budget was I would go to.

Congress as a pentagon as a Joint Chiefs. or whatever I would go to Congress and I. would make a new law and you can pass. laws easy and make everything happen up. in Congress because it's all pork anyway. just attach a little bit of pork onto. some equality thing and it'll go through. and we'll make all those companies out. there that minimum every R&D project you. do minimum has to be 25% out of your. pocket or 50% out of your pocket so you. were you were also pushing bills through. Congress little snip I was working a lot. with Congress S Pork yeah well no I.

would work with whoever was the. acquisition head of whatever Division I. was working with at Pentagon and then. they would do all all that okay all I. would do is get the money and the. products so I would do their project and. put it all together quad charts and. everything else and say this is a really. good one to do so I invent a two-man. submarine for seals how fast do we swim. when we're doing SEAL Teams underwater. if you have all your gear on and you. have to go do a sniper op you have your. sniper bag on your back and all the.

other stuff how fast can you swim oh man. slow but I can't but not can't remember. yeah about a mile an hour yeah so I. could get two snipers into my little. man-powered submarine with all their. equipment and we can go six miles an. hour six knots Manpower all they have to. do is paddle you can have one guy paddle. and can do about four knots I invented. that you invented that gave it to the. teams holy [ __ ] and the thing is is I.

have it in such a way that I could. hermetically seal it in the plastic put. it in all the torpedo tubes of the of. the nukes and so because they don't use. all the torpedo tubes usually one or two. of them are open to do stuff and so. usually we get a couple of them so we'll. go onto a onto a submarine and get the. torpedo tube and we use that as a. lockout chamber so we have the sections. and our section off so I can take these. um submarines I can put them end on end. so they're up like that and they're the. length of.

them about 20 ft so it's a 20 foot long. submarine for two people to kick out. Manpower at six knots and I package them. up and I put them in the submarines. vertical like that and it can be on. every submarine in the fleet and then. going six knots we can drop you off 30. Mi out off the coast and you guys can. kick in and drop you 12 miles off 15. miles off and drop you off wherever you. want and just kick in the shore with the. submarine going really fast Dam and then.

what happens to the submarine when we. get on. Shore it goes. away you know what it sounds like when. it's underwater no it sounds like fish. so in in a sonar you can't pick it. up there's special things I did and I. can't talk about it but there's there's. stuff I did with that that just just. blow your. mind and that was one of the special. projects I did and I think they only. gave me like they didn't give me very. much money for that one I think I did. that one only with less than.

$100,000 for all the R&D and getting it. all there and making we made four. prototypes I. think and then I left that program so I. don't know where it is right now and. it's classified so I don't know where. that is yeah I had another one where I. could put out a signal and um if anybody. records anything anywhere in the world I. know the exact spot they recorded. it that was one of. mine man I don't know if that's.

classified because the shit's so old and. nobody. well at this point it's like if we think. of it and amount of phds we have in. America it's out there China already. thought about it 10 years ago yeah. that's true because you can look at it. it's just it's math if we have one PhD. to every 20 of theirs in stem I'm not. talking about the stupid soft Arts you. know the touchy fuy stuff I don't care.

about any of that America has so many. phds in like counseling and sociology. and crap all the stem Stam is where you. got to be steam actually steam is where. we should be at you know and it's all. over there we don't do it and it pisses. me off and what are they pushing all. these kids in grade school and high. school right now they're not pushing. Tech and math and Engineering or any of. this good. stuff you're pushing all the like the. touchy feely and let's talk and play.

patty kicks and let's be nice you know. no do math man yeah y cuz we're we're. done already we're finished I think. we're done too as a country me didn't. they didn't they come out and say. mathematics is now. racist that's a real statement I heard. also real stat that if you're on time. it's racist if you show up to something. if you're if you're like everything is. racist now everything R our country and. nobody's speaking out about it nobody is.

speaking out about it it's just Yep this. is where we're at I'm not good at math. so it's racist I blame it all on. cultural Marxism the Frankfurt School. and the universities in America I mean. all it's all it's influenced from China. you know it's propaganda don't you think. no I mean it started and all that stuff. it started before that it started after. Napoleon just after Napoleonic Wars when. it started let's get back to your career.

before we we're still 165 so I get. recruited to Dam Neck and I do that and. I do Green Team all the guys in Dam Neck. are mad at me because I didn't do that. and they call me well yeah se but not. really you know and that kind of crap. but then every time they need something. they all come to me oh yeah they nice. then right yeah so and I'm also ride my. Harley and I got it's a 1960 Harley that. I'm riding in the damn that compound. every day right through the gate I'm. parking right there it's a Kickstarter.

it's a it's a bad motorcycle and they're. all seeing it and they're going and so. they're all kind of looking at it too. going. well pretty cool se but didn't go. through Green Team you know and they're. throwing a finger at me and so I'm. isolated from the entire team and my own. team that I'm supporting those guys. doing everything I can for him I changed. the face of Technology at Dam Neck. because I started doing something with. all the texts that never been done. before I was deploying them into like. real Combat because we were training. them for combat to do real missions.

before that the tech group would deploy. with the teams but they were still like. you're Outsiders you're not really with. us you're not trained well enough you. don't have this you don't have that they. would never let him really do any work. and so we started this whole program it. wasn't me but this program was started. to put all the text through this qualif. ation course similar to Green Team not. as tough but it was pretty tough you. know it wasn't easy at that time I. forgot to tell you I fell off the ship. one time and broke my back and the guys.

were kicking me on the way up the ship. and I actually climbed the ship with a. broken on the shipboard but it was. really hard for me to do push-ups after. that and so for me even go I would never. make it through green I would make it. through buds right now cuz my back is so. jacked up and when I do push-ups and all. that pressure is right on all the braks. is really difficult and so I'm crap at. push-ups right now and even doing. sit-ups I'm really bad at it because it. really it's like if you break all those. bones and your low back and you're all. screwed up you have a real hard time. doing a lot of stuff yeah and so that's.

another reason why after that happened I. kind of started moving way more into the. tech also so it's kind of like I should. have brought that up because it was part. of the equation part of the equation why. I went in so deep in the tech was. because it was it was a better place for. me CU I couldn't really do as much as I. used to and I knew it that makes so as a. team if you know you can't do it I don't. want to be a detriment to the team so if. I'm just flying UAV and I'm doing that I. can still do the work I just can't I'm. not going to be as effective if my. effective went from that 100 I'm down to.

the 70 or 80 group cuz I was I dropped. down I'm not like a civilian but I'm. still pretty good but I'm not I know I'm. not as good as I was I admit that Chris. I mean just and so when I'm doing that. stuff the dam it guys see me doing. push-ups and I'm crap at it and they're. going what and that makes them even. angrier at me you know cuz they're like. well you never would have made it anyway. and they're like they're getting all. angry I said yeah but I'm I'm a Senior. Chief I'm 45 years old I've heard of. Donald and I the door kicking I can show. you all the time I did and all my.

shooting and firefights and whatever you. want me to show you said I do the job I. said when I'm in a kill house and they. saw me in a kill house I'm pretty good. that's all they care about is a kill. house and when I went to a Kill house. it's like dude is I'm doing it I'm. taking care of business and they also. knew that the guys that worked with me. directly so it's was like I just want to. bring that out because all those guys. are damn neck they're so freaking. egotistical about what they do that they. [ __ ] on all the real all I was going to. say real seals but if you think about.

the SEAL Teams that's the real seals is. all the other teams not damn that guys. because they have a mission have a very. specific thing they're not doing all the. Seal team missions you know what I mean. except for during a war everything got. all mixed up but if you want to go back. to the old seals the seals were the were. the seals and damn that guys had a. specific mission that that's what they. did you know what I mean it was like. dude I can do what you guys are do. especially if I was back in the old days. I would have kicked you guys' asses you.

know so give me a freaking break I'm. here to do a mission don't keep punching. me in a face how long were you over. there like 5 years I think long enough. did you enjoy it years at all oh it was. amazing I loved it good even with all. the damn guys were punching me in the. face I would still love going there cuz. the mission was so H when you're doing. the mission you know you're doing the. mission dude you guys can crap on me. every day you want but I'm doing the. mission I'm still helping and that's. what the text even at damn neck the text. get crapped on all the time so when I.

got in charge of all the texts I made. them stop when I started doing the text. they kept coming down to the space CU I. had my own space down there it was like. these huge rooms and all our equipment. all our stuff I would I would say what. are you doing down here get back up to. your. squadron I going all right seen her and. so they would go up there and I says and. I said I don't ever want to see you I. said I want you here once a week on. Fridays just to check in and tell me. everything's good and tell me what you. need said otherwise I want you with. those guys all the time you need to. drink beer with them you need to be with.

them every second I said and that's how. you're going to do it when they're. training you train and say if they don't. let you train in the C house then just. go over on the side and just keep. drawing your pistol against the wall and. doing drills and do drills and have all. the gear on and just drill against a. wall and they're going to see you. eventually going to invite you in kill. house and they did and so after me. really pushing all the Texs to really be. part of the squadrons we went from one. or two Tech missions a year to like over. 100.

wow you've done a lot for the teams. there is no doubt I was just doing what. I thought was right and I and they. didn't like me because I kept pushing. the Tex up to them then it goes to show. you you know that when she to show you. everything happens for a reason your. back broke yeah and you found your. calling on the teams so I'm. 100% And it wer fully broken in half and. it wasn't really bad it was just the. ruptured discs and fractures so it.

wasn't like you know I didn't get. paralyzed so I'm okay it just hurts. really bad yeah yeah but I have all gray. and black discs now from like all my. lumbar almost up to you know not quite. you know as thoracic up through my. lumbar on the whole thing that whole. section is really dark have you been. blown up at all yeah what can we talk. about that yeah well yeah we're in a. damn neck guy I guess so I got I got. pulled into the Dam Neck I went through. did some did a bunch of strainers kill.

house all the time doing stuff all the. time because I'm still seal so I was. going out to the ranges and shooting and. the beauty about that team is is they. have 24-hour ranges and so we can be out. in town or you don't sleep and so you. just you just swipe in and you go shoot. 24 hours a day which is pretty awesome. you know and we have a pool you can. swipe on and go to the pool 24 hours a. day we have anything you want 24 hours a. day when you're in there just go to town. you know and you have guys doing stuff. it's just like wow if you show up there.

at 2 o'clock in the morning you'll see. guys working and you're like damn and. it's like a weekend that's why Craig. toyer was so awesome damn Nick because. at team one he was like that he was the. guy that on Sunday if you went into. compound for whatever reason at team I. was at team one with Craig so if you go. into the compound on Sunday at team one. you'd see Craig there with his ponit. liners all over part of the part of the. grinder and he would be there with all. his gear every every piece of gear and.

he'd be sitting with the toothbrush he'd. be organizing and getting ready he have. all his guns out there and he was doing. his stuff every. Sunday he it was dedication man that's. hardcore I had it to when the tech were. doing the same thing when I was there. doing the stuff they were running with. rockx on Tex and doing this 10mile runs. text at the end of it you can see them. throwing up all over themselves just. puking them all over their shirts and. their pants and just they were so. working so hard and it makes you proud.

so I'm like that's a that's a is or. that's an OS or that was a. photographer's mate he's sitting there. running 10 miles of rucksack kind of. thrown up on himself yeah and that. dedication how hard it like it was it. was pure heart you know back to. explosions sorry if you've been. oh yeah it was it wasn't that big of a. deal it wasn't that bad so I see the. guys that like like Jay man he had some. real Jay Redmond he had some real. terrible injuries you know and there's a. lot of other guys with some terrible.

injuries and uh so I don't really talk. about a lot so when I got hit it was. pretty light and even when I talk about. a Purple Heart it's. like man you know it was like a uh like. Admiral Richardson when he Admiral. Richards when he got hit in Vietnam and. he had a bone sticking out and he. thought it was a b and he thought about. John Wayne he says John Wayne said bite. the bullet so he said I can't hand that. bullet in started biting on his hand and. his his finger started moving and all. the guys started laughing at him said. dude that's your bone he looked at again.

said oh dang it's a bone damn so it. wasn't that bad so how did you get it. how did you get so I was I was purple. heart I was at uh I was at one of the. classified agency um fire bases okay and. they were hitting us all the time you. know and so we had a lot of mortars and. Rockets and and the way they do it is. it's really ingenious you know what they. would do is they' set up a saw horses. and uh they would put the rockets on. there these 107 mm Russian rockets and.

uh they would use um washing machine um. timers you know. basically and it would hook it up and. that would fire it so they set up these. saw horses and they knew close enough. and they knew all the stuff and they. were good at it and they set all these. Rockets up on the saw horses whole bunch. of them and set up set up the timer and. they all go off the and they were gone. and so whatever spot they were shooting. them from we would the you know the. little birds would fly out or whatever. would happen we'd hit the spot but it. would be nobody was there they were gone.

like an hour ago you know they were just. washing machine timers and it would hit. here and hit there because they set a. bunch them up we start getting hit and. so it was one of the really big hits. like that and uh one of the guys got hit. really bad and it zippered him right up. the back and just just destroyed him and. it was like you could see it you know he. could see the actual spine and. everything just flayed and his skull and. his neck and it was just he got hit. really bad CU he was right there with. most of the blast when the blast hit me. it just threw me and uh a lot of frag. and other stuff but I was able to uh run.

in and grab my gear and go fight so it. was not a big deal you know if you're. able to fight you know after you get hit. you just you know you just brush it off. it's not a big deal and then you know. clean it up and then go on with business. you know and then it just keep going you. know and the next day you're just I'm. good man don't send me anywhere but I. did have to get X-ray because I didn't. know if there was any more frag in me so. I went to the Army um uh hospital and. then they did stuff did they xate me.

there it was later when I did an MRI. once I still had metal in me and it. pulled the metal out that blood all over. the MRI which kind of sucked but uh so. you still have metal in you cuz it's. this frag you know yeah but um they. pulled the frag out and then you know. banded it off and then just keep. fighting yeah you know that's what it. was it was that big deal the other ones. were you know even you know a lot of. explosions for breaching you know and. that's where the TBI come from is. constant so I had a lot of TBI which I.

almost cured you know I helped a lot of. the TBI so it's totally the. neuroplasticity in your brain if I don't. know if you know anything about. neuroplasticity not much but it's. something for for everybody out there. for all of them all the seals how' you. cure every breacher how do you think you. cured it I think I cured it with micros. and mushrooms what kind of. mushrooms yeah Salan however have you. said that word but magic mushrooms so.

the thing is is the magic mushrooms. they've been on Earth for Millennia you. know they've been here since the. beginning of time there's theories about. the magic mushrooms and that's why we. had to jump from basically the neanthal. or whatever it was up homo sapian was. because it opened the mind up and it. made the Mind re reconfigure and rep. Pathways and and make it start working. and so what happens is when you're doing. mushrooms if your micro do you're not. tripping so it's super low Doses and uh. you have to have guidance you have to. have a guide and you have to have.

intention you have to have like very. controlled be really careful you do it. for a long period of time so basically. you take uh 05 grams and less and it's. really small doses and if you if you. start build up a tolerance you can start. bumping up a little bit but never more. than a gram so it's very small doses and. uh you do it every 72 hours for weeks. and weeks and weeks up to like 15 weeks. 15 weeks yeah so I mean think about that. you know if you think about every 3 days. and and it's not easy this is not fun.

yeah and that's the thing that they they. really making mistakes with that even. like marijuana you know if you're not. trying to smoke marijuana to get high. and have fun with it it's a really nice. medicine that that is uh it does a lot. uh in our bodies we have can avoid. receptors you know and so if in our. bodies we have a receptor is that recept. that they only will talk to. cannabis why do we have that in human. bodies unless that's something that we.

need or something that's good for us. that's the question I got for you same. thing with the with the magic mushrooms. the sosin you know if you don't abuse. them and just like any other farmal you. have on your shelf right now or the. doctor gives you if you take morphine. and you abuse it you're going to be bad. and morphine a is a pharmaceutical that. they give you and it's good it's not a. bad uh pharmaceutical why is why is. sodaman bad and why do they do that. because you can abuse any one of those. other drugs I can kill somebody with.

Aspirin you know aspirin's dangerous you. know so they pick and choose because. it's so. effective and because you can't make. money off it that's what I thought so I. can grow mushrooms right now and do. everything I need to do I don't do it I. can grow marijuana right now a weed. mushrooms are a weed you know it's God's. medicine and so because God's medicine. you can't make money on it's. illegal a't that weird I I don't I mean. no it's not it's perfect it makes.

perfect sense that the pharmaceutical. companies would never allow thatby angry. with Lobby to keep that illegal because. there goes there there goes their sales. there goes their their money because the. [ __ ] is working it's working with PTSD. work with anxiety ADHD bi bipolar. disorder now they're doing studies with. Alzheimer's and Dementia so if you take. all these things unbelievable and it's.

illegal yeah it is illegal it's it's. amazing know what we know what the. alternative is with the benzo and. anti-depressants well I was on all those. I was on all of it and I was on the. ooids and I had a really big problem. that was all during that 10 years when I. had and the Cure addiction what's that. and they cure addiction yeah oh that's. what I was bring up that there's. programs down south because you can't do. it here in America cuz we're such idiots. and you have to go down in Mexico you. have to go way down south South America. and so if you do every 72 hours if your.

micro do and you're alcoholic like a. hardcore alcoholic the most bad. alcoholic you ever could imagine you you. won't drink. anymore and if you you don't become an. alcohol you're done you might still. drink a little bit like Souls were. drinking like a little bit but you won't. be alcoholic anymore that's what. happened to. me I swear I did it if you're a drug. addict I can you won't be a drug addict. anymore yeah I did it I haven't drank in.

uh like February 14th it'll be a year so. same thing so here's two witnesses to. the world that psilocybin I always mess. up that word psilocybin. sosyan in micro does and small doses. over some periods of time has proven. over and over again addictions and. rewiring the neuroplasticity of the. brain so you have brain damage it would. be one if you had half your brain shot. off and if you did that you probably.

heal it regen rewire regeneration and. rewiring it's unbelievable and we do. that yeah let's talk about your Awards. with. Valor oh I still didn't even get to my. final teams well so damn neck so I'm. doing all the stuff of damn neck and. it's just going crazy with all these. invention all this stuff and so all the. crazy inventors in the teams they all. know me so Gus gantine is one of them. and Bill Shephard's another one Chef. sheeper so he's an astronaut Seal Team. guy the first one and probably one of.

the most famous seals until you know the. war maybe because he was very well known. and hugely respect and I still respect. him he's a mentor and so he took over. science technology at. Socom Admiral olon Admiral Olsen is a. Socom. Commander he was my commander at. warcom when I basically you didn't like. me a lot cuz I kept telling him no how. do you have a a E6 T Admiral no I did.

and he really mad at me and uh the. master chief at the time he always says. that he was always getting me out of. trouble CU I was really hardcore against. the officers because I was the only. listed almost at work home it was all. captains and Admirals. but uh I can't remember master's name. now so I'm at I'm at um there and I'm. doing all this stuff and so she shepher. calls me up Olson's a commander Chef has. all science technology at all of the.

special operations and so he calls me on. the phone he says hey hey. Chris I uh I know you want to stay a. damn neck CU and I and I told him he. knew that was like dude this a mission. I'm never leaving here and almost. anybody goes there never want to leave. cuz it's a mission anybody leaves damn. neck is for a specific reason because. it's a better job or they got kicked out. or they don't want him back so if you. see any Dam it guys only did four. years you ought to ask.

him. so usually two tours after eight years. guys will leave damn neck they'll do a. couple and then leave but a 40-year guy. damn neck is doesn't make sense you know. yeah so Chef calls me on the phone and. he asks me he says hey I took over. science technology I want you to be to. be come down here and take you know be. the senior list advisor I said I want to. senior to you said I don't care I said. well I'm I'm at Dam I don't really want. to leave and I'll have to move down to. Florida and he says well you you'll have.

cart brunch you can invent and do. everything you want you can you you have. a budget I'll give you a budget and he. told me all this and I was like okay. I'll do that so you're crew to me to. socon to be the senior list adviser to. Socom science technology damn and so I. was there and that's when I went hogw. so the panagon already knew me CU I was. at a couple years prior was when I did. the target tracking thing and so they. all knew me CU I was there and so every. time I show up the Pentagon I had all. these doors that were immediately open.

because I knew that I could help them. you know I was I was uh an advantage to. their program and so when I was at. silcom doing S&T I had a lot of access. to a lot of other programs and a lot of. money cuz as soon as I brought the Dam. Neck programs or my programs into their. progr programs then we could combine. moneyy and then cut stuff and then. Advance the whole program way further. and so I was doing that a lot you know. which because I could I could open all. the stove pipes up I knew the stove. pipes I was part of the stove pipes now.

because we had Army Navy Air Force. Marines at Socom it wasn't just the Navy. damn next to sto pip they talk a lot. good with the Army you know groups those. guys do really good but does a sto fight. from them into some other areas they. open most of them up now I think it's. all mostly fixed with with lenos you. know liaison but so it was just a. perfect place for me and so I moved down. there immediately bought a house and was. there doing that and I can't tell you.

about most of the stuff there but sounds. like a dream job it really is and I was. at almost at my 20 years. oh I deployed T twice when I was an S&T. at Socom really which doesn't happen. very much I also I I was a shooter down. there I was like I because he gave me. kind of whatever and I was I was like. nobody could control it so I would just. say I need to go over there and do some. stuff and it and so he he tells me one. time he says hey you were doing some. stuff at damn neck with all the tech.

stuff and you had these these. um uh boxes that you would bring over. and we had i90s it was one had drawers. in it and all my stuff in there I had my. welder and a bunch of other stuff in. there so basically at damn neck because. we're a tech group and we experiment. with a lot of stuff we have to have a. lot of equipment at our hands to build. oscilloscope and all this and Saturn. irons and all the equipment to be a tear. us up apart and rebuild it and test it. and do stuff so I built all these things. at Dam Neck to make him be able to do.

this testing why I helped him build it I. wasn't the full Builder because I think. Rich did a lot of that too and a and a. bunch of other people but I was part of. that program that built the stuff and in. that was building up the concealment. program and the audio and video program. and the mechanical engineering program. all into these boxes and so Shep found. out about that and so he says Hey I want. you to build um a system that can be for. all the other teams and the uh Green.

Berets and the Rangers and anybody. special operations we need a system to. be able to deploy with all their teams. that they can do the same thing you did. at Dam Neck so if they break something. they can fix it they can weld it they. can event it they can do that so you. remember when the home views overseas. we had the the Rings the the you know. the modu up on top well so we started my. program is the one that take the modu on. one side and then we could have on the. other side the minigun on one.

ring they don't do that stuff and we had. to reinforce stff and build this and. dwap batteries to shoot the Min guns. like all this stuff like it's a Minun. you had to look at these giant batteries. and do this stuff and I said why don't. you just make it so just like the just. slap a battery in then shoot you don't. have to have wires or anything just have. it a plug and play uh thing and then I. take that battery off and grab some more. batteries and you can stick to those and. charging or whatever and always have. them on standby not one wire that was. you I also was the one at remote fired. remember the crow system so remember the.

crows in the M wraps we had the M wraps. are pieces of crap this is after my time. this is after my time no the oh yeah it. might have been well the M wraps are. these giant pill boxes and I said it was. magino line on Wheels and they used to. make them so angry I say that I said it. is it's a pill box it's a imaginal line. on Wheels I said we're sitting ducks we. can't do anything I said I want the. doors off and I want this I want that. and I said this is the vehicle I want. you know and it was basically uh they. have the vehicles perfect Vehicles down.

at Brag you know the. Scorpions and um it's not classified the. um so all that stuff so so Shep said I. want you to build these things that we. can deploy overseas to do this to make. these weird additions and and modify. stuff for guys overse he's in combat I. said okay so I how much money do I have. he said well there no money for that. kind of a program it's just a new. program just just see what we can do and. he says well how many people can to help. me do this and he says well this just.

you I was like okay so I'm alone and I. have no. money within 6 months after he told me. that we were deployed in Afghanistan. with 12 systems I had $10 million and I. had 30 people. trained damn Chris I I invented the. training program the first part of the. training program how we started it cuz. these are all going to be engineers and. retired guys because this is all. contracted now so now I'm working in a. contractor world with all these. contractor guys so we had to train them. up to be not like I had to do when I.

with my tech at Dam Neck I had to train. them up enough so they knew the mindset. and knew how we worked so I had a little. room was about half the size of this. room I had 30 guys that were trying out. for this first system to deploy to. Afghanistan so this little tiny room and. I had to heater in I turn I cranked the. heater before they got there and there. was it was super hot in that room I said. okay everybody get in that room and I. before they went in the room they all. had pieces of paper and pencils and I. and I gave him this test to do in a room. a pencil test so 30 guys in a really hot.

room that. big standing up there's no furniture in. the whole room it's a blank room hot hot. it was terrible and then we were. watching and seeing who was complaining. see who did it see what they did and see. everything watching them and then when I. said okay when you're done with your. test test it was like a 20 uh question. test and it was like um picles nrt and. that's pressure volume is uh energy. temperature it's these little equations. all the stuff cuz I really wanted to.

test and see how far I got so if you're. battery in your car and we have to do. this we got 24 volts how do you wire it. you know take two car batteries and do. this and do this and RI in series it's. all easy stuff a lot of it some of it. was a little weird that was hard I. really wanted to see what the knowledge. point was so 20 questions were important. each one of them was had I wrote them. wrote the test so I said when you finish. your test it would come in that door. knock on that door and then come out. into the room and then we'll do we'll do. some more stuff and so outside of the. room we had garbage cans and whole bunch.

other stuff and we had like sand it was. wild and and flashing lights and so. somebody would knock on the door and we. open up the door just enough to get the. guy in there and they and everybody in. the room start seeing what's going on. they what's going on it was just weird. you know I just wanted to see how far I. could push them you know just like are. you going to complain are you going to. just suck it up and just do it do the 20. questions and answer them as good as you. can knock on the door and just go you. know don't be scared just just like. stuff is happening don't worry about it. you know yeah and then went out there.

and then they had to actually wire off. the batteries they had to do some. welding they had to get on a mill you. know we had lathes and Mills that's how. deep I went you know they had to do all. of it you know and then we had a car we. had uh. 2x4s and I said uh build a small water I. had a whole bunch of cut up two by fours. and a bunch of nails and Hammers and. everything else as they built a small. wall over there and I they build a mini. wall this high this big and do that and. we also had this thing I built a shape. out of wood and I had some other stuff. on it I us to duplicate that with all. the stuff over there and so I had to do.

some real Precision cutting and some. stuff I want to see how mechanical they. were how skilled they were with their. hands it's a really cool test and then. after that was about a 2hour long period. of time just testing them all and we. grading them on all of it and then after. that we start putting them through like. a a Long training period on how to. actually use all the gear and how to do. all the stuff we taught all these guys. how to use a Mill and a lathe how to. weld like professional welders like all. of it intense training and then I built. these boxes IU 90s with two of them with.

fold down sides did you ever see those. things no no no this was um. 2010 you know were you in in 2010 I was. out in 2006 out so you missed all this. stuff then yeah so in 2010 before I. deployed and got all the stuff done like. everybody in Special Operations. worldwide is to know exactly what I'm. talking about I built all those things. from nothing and we ended up calling the. mobile technology complex MTC that's. what I named it then um because of money.

stuff because I we're still searching. for money um there's a whole program in. the army that does all the repairs and. the engineering of all this equipment I. think it's at rcom or no not Rd redcom. no it's a group they have a huge huge. bucket of money for doing all the. repairs and maintenance it's basically a. 3M maintenance on all the equipment and. so we could we could get that money. because we're doing tons of repairs on. all their equipment something breaks we. repair it overseas in combat but doesn't.

need be sent back home and then fix and. then s back over we're saving the. military you know thousands of dollars a. day to unbroken equipment that we're. fixing and so what we did was we rewrote. the whole thing we renamed it and. rewrote our mission statements to. include rep not just Innovation and all. the other stuff so now we got tons of. money and so now we're up to uh this is. way over like $400 million now that one. my bigger programs absolutely bro and. then that program got handed off to uh a.

real um leader because I was just an. inlisted you know EA Senior Chief then a. bunch of officers took it and it went to. a bunch of gs's now I think it's run by. like a gs15 or something that was before. I retired so. 2011 I deployed with all the stuff and. we did all the stuff and then I came. back in October and I retired in. February of 11 and now I'm retired with. all this and all the experience in the. Pentagon so then I have a phone call. coming from.

Pentagon and he said hey um we know. you're retiring I want you to come do. some work for us I said well I'm not. going to be military I want to be. civilian I said what am I going to be uh. 15 or. sces 15 okay so I got right from to like. but they didn't make I ended up going. civilian route as a interpersonal agency. transfer from agency into the Pentagon. as a contractor making a little over. $200,000 a. year damn so I went for the money still.

doing the same job but I'm not uniform. I'm not government I'm not GS 15 I'm not. an sces actually it was kind of an sces. one equivalent the end is what they made. me was a scs1 equivalent what is an scs1. it's an admiral okay it's a onear. Admiral equivalent what I thought the. sces is is when you get into the Admiral. ranks a Goos General Admiral and so I. was up there working at Pentagon now as. a as an adal equivalent running huge. programs and doing stuff but.

then I did lot of really good projects. but at the same time I was doing that. whole transgender weird thing because. now I'm. retired you know so now the chains are. off me I don't got to worry about. anything I can smoke a joint and I can. do other stuff and I'm done with my. government military stuff so I'm not. worried about anything so I'm like you. know what I'm going start living a right. now and trying to figure out who I am. and part of the figure out who I am was.

part of that isolation always want to be. my sister as a kid just like I said and. that very confusing I was a virgin till. I was 22 years old you know I've had to. this day I've only had sex with like. eight people you know eight women you. know and it's not something I'm proud of. or brag about but it's something that. I'm still very naive and I'm still very. prudish and I'm still very you know.

anti-sexual stuff kind of I don't think. it needs to be so far in the open of. what we've done with society and so how. I see it and how I saw myself you know. was not sexual but it was my identity. was me trying to escape who I was to be. something. better you know what I mean. mhm and that's a whole another story The. Iron Man suit oh IR I heard you talk. about this on another podcast and I want.

I want to go in detail on this project. because I believe you got cut off so if. you want to hear a really wild podcast I. was on Joe Rogan uh June last year and. um I I dug like I told you that I'm very. um um I I want to know like you're not. going to tell me the sky is blue I want. to I want to know why it's blue you know. and it's about Reflections refraction. some other stuff but if I I just I'm. curious about that and I'm not going to.

take you and I'm not going to take it. for granted that stuff is going on you. know and. um I went in a lot of rabbit holes with. Joe you know and then for whatever. reason I started he I don't know how it. happened but I talked about the Iron Man. project and he was like Iron Man and I. was like yeah like the Iron Man movie. you know hey sge what's up buddy the. Iron Man come on over here and sit down. come on come here over here sit. down.

Flats nice if you speak German to him he. does everything right away so he he was. um trained in German to do the big stuff. and then he's out of that program and. now he's like a civilian dog so I talk. to him in English all the time but if. you ever speak German to him he's. like the uh Iron Man so he asked me it. was it was an Iron Man like the movie. Iron Man that guy what's his name I. can't stand Hollywood Tony Stark yeah.

that guy but the actor guy oh but I. don't care he's an idiot so all of are. they just I don't I don't understand. Chris you can call a lot of people. idiots after what I've just heard you. talk about well they're freaking. Millionaires and they could do so much. good Robert Downey Jr yeah that's the. guy he's a billionaire actually he's. he's a pretty cool guy he's one ofon I. think he's one of the good ones though I. shouldn't have said that I'm sorry yeah.

I shouldn't do that anyway that was just. really bad but it just it drives me. crazy that they have so much potential. and they do so little with it yeah it. really makes me angry I don't get that. it's great so Iron Man we started. working on Iron Man and like really hard. like really digging in on Iron Man and. 200 4 or five it's been a while maybe. later than that who was digging in on. Iron Man I'll leave that one alone okay.

but I was I had a lot of access to but. you're not on the movie Set you're oh no. no I'm talking about the real we don't. do anything with the movies that's all. fake yeah that's why I'm I'm I'm just. making it very apparent to the audience. that this was the real thing not yeah. not the full suit's going to weigh 1,000. pounds is huge and that was when I. started saying this is stupid what is it. like an exoskeleton suit or something. well that's when I started going into. the exoskeletons and everything else and. I said what you guys are trying to do is. just let's do this and this and this and.

then build up to that when we can do. that because right now if you have the. suit on you can't use any of our. vehicles you can't get on an airplane. basically you can get on a cargo plane. and you'll be almost the only one on. there standing on the back ramp getting. ready to go I said that's ridiculous I. said how do you deploy these guys you. know how do you get on a ship to do. anything how you can't do anything you. know right now until they start building. the vehicles or start building the stuff. or the airplanes and the parachutes. you're talking about parachuting in. heavier than well no it' be about the.

same as as some of our boats but that. takes three g12s you know so you're can. to have a guy one guy flying out with a. g12 that's a giant parachute the. parachutes as big as this building you. know it's giant parachutes so there's a. bunch of stuff that I was really hitting. them on and saying this is you can't do. that can't do that so then I started. going to the National Labs like Sandia. and Lawrence Livermore and all the labor. that did the um Manhattan Project so now. I'm inside the Manhattan Project I'm. working with all these guys like real.

deep and um I can't talk about most of. that but the what the what is the. Manhattan Project the nukes in World War. II okay never mind yeah yeah sorry the. um oh man some of the projects I was in. would be really wild but you need to be. there and in all of them to do some of. the programs I was doing because a. program like that is going to take in. the comms and the visuals and the.

ballistics and the ergonomics plus the. the mechanical and then if a if a. battery goes down or something goes down. then how is the guy going to move you. know and so that's when I started going. into the ancient times and that's when I. I met um the dude that was doing a shark. fighting and he wears a shark fighting. suit it's neptunic um cool guy man. really cool guy I can't remember his. name and I wish I could meet him. again but he he invented the way to to.

make shark suits and he and he does it. and so that's where I was going wasn't. it a shark fighting and and we it's like. it's like bull fighting they don't. really fight the Sharks all they want to. do is get the shark to them and they. grab a hold of dors and they ride it. that shark fighting. it's like they call it bull fighting but. they also call the clowns in there or. more the bull fighters than the cowboys. that are doing it if you know that so I. was doing what the clowns do with the. bulls you know and the shark fighting.

and everything else you know I was. trying to figure out how to be how to be. real mobile because if you think about. the rodeo clowns they're more Heroes. than the Cowboy ever was I mean those. guys that don't want Sav the Cowboys you. know and they're also getting gored and. really messed up so you think about. rodeo clown that's who the seal should. be you know they're the one saving. everybody and they have to move way. better than the Cowboys do so the. Cowboys can wear the armor and really. heavy stuff and can do the stuff but the. the clowns can't do that you know what I. mean yeah and so I'm going in that.

direction you know and they're actually. the bull fighters the clowns are it's. not the. Cowboys and that's why they call them. it's bull fighting the clowns do so and. that's the direction I was going into. and so I was working with a group called. um. mhi which I kind of failed at because. that's when the craziness was also going. on with all of this stuff and as soon as. I came out and I said hey I want to be. Christen it just went I had nothing you. know it all fell apart and so then I.

lost track with Masashi and the way they. figured out the exoskeleton was from um. overweight people if you think about. somebody who weighs 3 or 400 lb and you. think about what the weight the amount. of weight that they're carrying around. and how they carried out weight and also. thing about the strength of that person. you know put him on a leg machine have. him squat put him on a leg machine and. see what they can actually push with. their legs I can push way more than they. can but I weigh like 190 you know.

they're weighing 300 car weight around. how are they doing that well that's what. they figured out and it's not powered. it's unpowered suit it's an unpowered. suit not not now but the one I was. trying to build was going to be an. unpowered bull fighting suit would have. been like the shark fighting stuff would. have been like it would have been. magnificent and they kept going in their. Direction just like that. idiot you can't do that cut that out. please so so so just so just like that.

guy that was trying to fly UAV to. interject a vehicle you know you're. trying to go super high-tech to do. something that doesn't need to be. high-tech so we don't need this thing to. be a robot we don't need to be Iron Man. like to have movies it's a movie. eventually we'll be there but that's you. know I don't want that and it's only. going to be one or two guys in a platoon. with another 100 guys supporting those. guys in the suits so it doesn't make.

sense so if they would to let me go with. my program I didn't need that much money. and me I could have done this for. they're doing hundreds of millions of. dollars I could have done this for tens. of millions you know and it would have. been a better suit and everybody would. have using it the entire Marine Corps. would have been an outfit it was my suit. instead of one or two marines you know. yeah so which suit do you want and so. this this so they started going way down. the movie Iron Man route because they. want the movie Iron Man the movie Iron. Man is.

ridiculous right now because we don't. have the infrastructure we don't have. the vehicles we don't have anything you. know it doesn't work and we're not going. to have that guy flying around you know. for very far you know we have that one. suit the guy's using right now you saw. him do the Ship boarding and to stuff. but. there's other stuff I can do that with. we don't need the suit for you know yeah. so I can do that with a. well that's probably. classified no there's something there's. something similar to that though that. there was a guy that made uh had a.

project where he taking Beetle wings and. he was taking the Beetle wings and he. was moving them in such a way that he. could actually levitate them if he if he. crosses the pattern of the structure of. the Wings they would. somehow is it's Weird Science. interesting look up look up a a beetle. wi um flying machine I think that should. be enough to Google Beetle wi flying. beetle Wing flying machine I'm looking. it up so I think just that should be. enough words to figure and you might end.

up with a video of the guy doing it if. there is a video it's actually playing. right now so somebody might we're going. to we're going to slice it in but. there's um there's so much stuff like. that and the problem is is they get so. in in infatuated in HED with the. technology that they don't understand. that there's an easier way to do it you. know and there's a better way to do it. rather than trying to have all this. stuff think smarter not harder yeah. always you know and so I gave the whole.

thing to him and I said and then it. turned into carnivore and carnivore with. with with um vogle vogle is brilliant. too you know he's amazing and anybody. out there that works with him is is is. going to know you know and he was on. Carnival pretty hardcore and and there. was a bunch of other guys and and. anybody on a carnivore project right now. I would hire them you know cuz every one. of them we're working with almost no. money and we're working with like a wide. open field CU we had no lanes and that's. when everything happens and we did a lot.

of good. stuff so that's probably a really. unknown project too damn the. carnivore but uh it's you can't let. acquisition people run projects yeah and. that's the biggest problem we have at. Socom right now is you have and I I'm an. acquisition person by learning it but. I'm not an acquisition person so I know. acquisition but I'm not acis person I. don't care about the horse blanket I. don't care about your procedures and how. you get from here to here because I can.

go I don't need here I'm already here. and I can get to there or if I'm already. here and I get here real fast it's 70%. of where you're trying to get for 100. bucks so why do I want to invest $5. million from here I'm already here for. $100 I don't care about your final. project because I don't need. it you know and if and it's going to. take you 10 years to get there if I'm. already here for 100 bucks and I'm 70%. in 10 years I'll be way past your.

100 and that's the problem acquisition. people their beans and bullets and all. they're doing is counting everything you. know and then and they also have uh. triple P pre-planned uh preventive uh. pre-planned. uh maintenance it's it's a planning they. have and how they're going to do it and. how they've run these programs it's a. 5year cycle all this other stuff I can. tell you all the shortfalls they have in. Pentagon and I can cut their budget by. 25% I swear I can because they're doing.

it wrong they're so messed up and how. they how they enter stuff and how they. do it and they keep starting back here. to get here to go that and they keep. trying for that 100% perfect thing after. that 5year cycle in one year I can give. you 50% and 3 years going to be 80% so. don't worry about your thing in 5 years. can't stand it the whole program is. terrible the Pentagon is the most broken. machine in the world and it drives me. crazy because you know where they're. paying all that it's our tax money you.

know and it just drives me crazy that. they're wasting so much of the American. people's money on stuff that just we. don't even need it you. know and so we need the Iron Man thing. what they want in about 20 or 30 years. we can't even use it right now all it is. is flashy yeah but it's just like NASA. doing their AP it makes perfect sense. that we don't have the infrastructure to. support it so nobody talks about that. you know but so NASA when they're doing. the NASA program to do all the stuff.

they were doing to try to go to the moon. was it made plastic glass it made this. all the stuff that they invented because. they're going for a really hard project. that they had to do this they invented a. whole bunch of stuff along the way that. I'm greatly grateful for I mean it's. it's amazing. so was the juice worth a. squeeze of their $700 million a day I. think that's what it is NASA right now. is spending $700 million a day of our.

tax money where is it. going I have no idea you know it's not. going to anything we can. use damn you took a picture of a galaxy. you know a thousand light years away. good job NASA. thanks damn well let's let's take a. break I want to give a big thank you out. right now to all the vigilance Elite.

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then I turn them into videos so we get. right now there's a lot of concern about. self-defense Home Defense crimes on the. rise all throughout the country actually. all throughout the world and so we talk. talk about everything from how to prep. your home how to clear your home how to. get familiar with a firearm both Rifle. and Pistol for beginners and advanced we. talk about mindset we talk about. Defensive Driving we have an end of the.

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vigilance Elite or just go in the link. in the description it'll take you right. there and if you don't want to and you. just want to continue to watch the show. that's fine too I appreciate it either. way love you all let's get back to the. show thank. you we just pump neck. full of like six units of the wrong. blood type there's no way he survives. the flight so just be prepared to. receive his.

body we would be getting dudes that were. coming in from these other elements for. uh for us to work with did that bother. you that can get tricky. one of the individuals that was inside. that Ford Ranger jumped up on the back. of the truck and engaged into the group. with that.

PKM I see what's happening all right. Gunna 15 or so feet away from the group. ripping into the crowd guys were. dropping guys are scrambling things are. blowing up kind of all around and uh I. just feel the. I have to cauterize your face back. together taking an AK-47 round to the. side of my. [Music].

face young kid first deployment fresh. out of basic and he's 15 ft in front of. a guy who's shooting machine gun in his. general. direction I know everyone in the truck. is dead and my right leg is just [ __ ]. mled it's just like hammered meat and. tissue and exposed bone and there's just. a river. flowing it's a the ultimate Mass cowl. scenario to this day considered the most.

catastrophic Insider attack since the. global war terrorism. began all right Chris we just took a. long break yeah. the lasagna is ready but. um we got to talk about you just you're. retiring out of the military and you're. getting ready to transition 2011 2011. yeah.

so and 2011. retired and uh basically that's like the. chains off like I was saying you know. now I can start living my life and do. whatever I want you know so if I want to. smoke a joint then I'll smoke a joint. you know like I said I mean this the. Cannabis I have a real problem with the. way America's treated that you know I if. they would have outlawed booze that. would been way better for our country. you know so yeah I'll smoke a joint you. know and it's uh I got off all the.

opioids and all that stuff you know but. I was on them for a while you know and I. was still stuck on them and why were you. on them because of the back or I was. pain yeah I just have I just have a lot. of pain and uh now if I if I I take wild. lettuce now which is I Forge it for. that's a good painkiller and a few other. things I'm using for pain now I'm also. doing um so it's there's there's Herbal. Remedies and there's ways to do it to. control pain and to really work with it. and uh I think the ooy problem and what.

they're doing to Veterans right now is. just criminal you know if you ask me. yeah and then I also got like they. diagnosed me with a bunch of other stuff. and they had me on some some mood stuff. this thing called simbala and uh which. nowadays are proven it that all these. things are doing for uh anxiety or what. is it they they prove that it doesn't do. anything you know they Prov that all. these drugs that be given people and a. lot of stuff it just doesn't it's not. really doing what they think it's doing. it's not helping it's masking yeah you. know and if you really want to know what. the problem is you know if you mask the.

problem and you're just sitting there. just living life like that like a zombie. you know you're not living and I think. that's what the VA likes us to be they. want us to be zombies you I I mean in. there I have my own uh theories about. that but it just doesn't seem conducive. for the US government to keep a bunch of. people alive that they're having to pay. for oh yeah it just makes sense yeah you. know drug them up and get rid of them. yeah or at least just make them you know. not dangerous yeah you know and so.

that's that's what I was thought I was. stuck on a lot of pharmaceuticals you. know in in that part of my life cuz at. that time I also wasn't really worrying. about you know the military and I think. the military is much better about it. active Bey about a lot of that stuff cuz. you can't have zombies in the military. yeah you you can't be giving them all. this stuff you know they'll tell you to. work out and take some oan you know or. do this or do that but at the VA you're. retired you're a civilian and they don't.

care you know what they do care but they. just it's like a misplace care almost. yeah you know they care about the the. structure and the administrative part of. the VA not really as much about the. people it's a huge machine it's the. biggest uh Health Care system probably. in a world you know and that's why. everybody starts talking about. socialized medicine and everything else. for a country it's like we already have. socialized medicine and do you think. it's working very well you know I know I. don't the VA I've said that I've said. that several times and and I just I.

don't understand how people can be for. socialized medicine and then look at. what the VA is doing cuz it is the model. yeah and it's it's makes no sense it's. never worked yeah never so I had the. psychologist in there it was just like. if you're a psychologist and I was going. through from a master's degree right in. mental health counseling so I could have. if I kept continuing with that program I. would have had the certifications to go. to the VA and Council. veterans but uh the program is really.

messed up you know and the VA could be. fixed right now for all the counselors. with the stroke of pen by uh Congress or. the the uh the VA itself if you had the. secretary of the VA all you had to do is. make one change and right now there's a. line about counselors in the VA that. they must be kcp certified and krap is. uh it's a counseling um accreditation. system it's a group it's a civilian. private group that accredits the.

counseling um courses and counselors. themselves for continue education. everything because you can't just become. a counselor and just drop it you have to. keep working on stuff and you keep. studying and advancing so that's what. that group is for k CP and so I call it. crap kick or something I just it's just. it's the worst thing the VA did they. basically hamstrung themselves what they. did was they said that you have to be. this certification in order to be a. counselor at the VA so what that does is.

it took the entire um pool of counselors. in the United States and cut it in less. than half because not every counselor. follows K crap not every counselor has. to be K crap I think if you had a whole. bunch of senior. ncos and as long your senior SEO and you. go through just part of the stuff I went. through when I was going through the. courses at the grad level or some really. good courses and it really goes through. all the different things and it goes. through the legalities and what you can. talk about what you can't talk about to. make sure you're not hurting people you.

know and make sure you're not giving. advice too far you have to kind of have. to be careful sometimes you know as. counselor about what you actually give. them you can hear everything you want. because that's the the client talking to. me I'm I want to listen as much as I can. but what I say back to that person I. have to be a little careful of because. you can actually cause damage that's. what you have to go through but if you. had senior ncos like myself and and like. all the other ones there's millions of. us you know and you put us through a. six-month course that would be enough.

because as a senior Ando you already. have the mentoring you have the coaching. you have all those other leadership. skills you have a ton of stuff that we. have to go through as a chief to be able. to talk to it we do those uh personality. tests all those things what they do is. letters and all that stuff and and I. don't know why I'm not remembering all. of it but we do that stuff to we know. when I'm talking to someone I know kind. of what their personality is so I know. kind of how to deal with them we have. all that stuff as Chiefs and if you take. me for example with all the asot type. skills when I'm sitting there across met.

talban guy and I'm interrogating or I'm. working with them I'm doing all this. stuff that's counseling that's mental. health counseling now when I go in there. especially when I start doing this saky. peeky stuff like agency work when I'm. working with the Taliban directly but. I'm trying to win them over and get them. to work with us how do you do that. you're a pretty good counselor right so. why they make a requirement you have to. De Kay crap now what I think and what I. propos to the entire VA is that you. require K crap to be like the. administrator like the boss over all of.

it or you have a couple of krap. qualified people that you know they went. through all these huge amounts of. courses like almost at a PhD level it's. really intense and in all these practice. sessions all the other stuff and how to. counsel how to be effective they had. every V. at that top level you have that K crap. one or two or three of them whatever it. requires for how big your VA is and each. under each of those you would have a. veteran coach Mentor you only have to. call him a counselor you say hey we want.

you just to work with our one of our. veteran coaches for a little while you. know and you're going to do uh five. sessions with a one of our veteran. coaches you know and just I just worked. that and the veteran coach would also be. taking notes and doing this stuff and if. it gets to a point where it rises the. occasion or it rises to the level that. that veteran coach is you know it's too. much you know then you're going to hand. it up to one of the K qualified people. but for Veterans for the most part we. don't need a psychologist we don't need. a krup qualified mental health counselor.

we need a veteran coach we need somebody. to talk to us about nutrition we need. somebody to talk to us about what are we. doing for working out we need somebody. to talk to us about life skills about. just like what do we doing the problems. veterans are having out there right now. and the biggest thing is like just like. money problems is that family problems. relationship problems these problems. that and that and that a veteran coach. can do all of those so you're going into. the VA and you have a problem and you. need a counselor they says well we can. set you up an appointment you come back. in a month two months six months what is.

a waiting right now because we're. waiting for these qualified people and. if you're KRA qualified you're not going. to work at a VA for crappy money not. very many of them unless they're not. very good you're going to go out there. on the outside you're going make big. money so the V right now could fix this. entire problem with mental health issues. within the VA systems that you don't. have veterans going to these VA parking. lots and eating a bullet in their. parking lots yeah because we're saying. no we don't have time for you you need.

to go do that but all I wanted to do is. just talk to somebody well we don't have. time for you yeah they could change all. this right now that's what makes me so. upset I was going through all these. courses I learned all this stuff in the. middle of it I was like you know what. this isn't what I need to be doing. this isn't even close to what I need to. be doing they keep doing what I'm doing. with my nonprofit I need to mo more into. the counseling more into the coaching. and do what I'm doing I don't need their. crap I already know most of the stuff. that they even try to teach me through. all the asot and through the teams and.

through being a chief I was walking in. there and I was already probably. surpassing some of instructors I had. this one instructor this professor who. was a third grade teacher and she went. through and did all the courses while. she was teaching third grade all it is. is time all you got to do is just sit. there and just buckle down and read the. programs read the books and write some. papers and you'll get the. certification and I didn't have that. kind of time I'm 56 years old and I. don't need the money I don't want the. money I have a nonprofit that I was.

trying to help out I have the VA and all. my veteran buddies who I'm trying to. help out and if I wasted another two. years doing that program it's a two. years wasted I don't know how long I'll. be here and I want to try to do some. work now and try to do as much good as I. can do right now with what I have. because I don't need their stuff the. problem with what they're teaching in. the universities now it's all the. Frankfurt School it's all the it's all. the you know compassionate narcissism.

it's it's the freaking it's it's. the Socialist agenda it's the it's it's. all terrible stuff then they start going. into all this stuff where it's like no. this isn't it's a victim cards it's it's. all stuff it doesn't even make any sense. people don't need that but that's what. they're teaching these counselors to. have the counselors teach us or help. people in that kind of way they're. teaching critical race theory in the. they're teaching at the University no. I'm talking about the university when.

you're doing your kcp Sears okay so you. have to figure that everyone at the. University if you're University. trained you're a. Marxist straight up every University. person trained right now especially. counselors because I saw I witness it. myself I'm a witness to it and what. they're teaching right now is hateful. what they teaching right now is wrong. what you're teaching right now is going. to cause more damage in the long run. than they ever helped and that's what. makes me super angry and a VA is stuck.

in that program the VA needs to wake up. you need your senior. n so they messed me up really bad with. their drugs and with her talk and for me. just like anyone in the military we get. kind of in institutionalized then when. you have a doctor or you have the. captain you have the Admiral you know. even though I'd question them when it. was something wrong I would I would ask. questions and I would point it out. there's still a huge amount of respect. for those positions because we know it. because that's the chain of command. that's beat into us from day one at boot.

camp that respect and command and then. you just follow the orders and so when I. was at DV I was still following orders. I'm like a couple of years out of the. military and this is what they're. telling me and you're the experts and I. believe you. what are they telling. you it was the drugs it that this is the. way to do it and when I T started. talking about some of my childhood and. like some of the things that I was. feeling they it pretty much. automatically went to transgender can.

you get into some specifics the. specifics are that if I start telling. them that of my jealousy and my want to. be my older sister and my my my entire. life was living in that kind of fear of. punishment and and um mistakes or. anything else and I would always look at. her and she never did anything wrong she. was perfect and I wanted to be her and. all of that stuff and I started talking. about getting dressed up and like. feeling better when I was dressed up. because if I got if I put something on.

that was feminine that I felt or even. felt feminine in I would feel better. like. psychologically it would make anxiety or. depression or anything I was feeling at. the time it would make it kind of go. away cuz going back in my childhood the. same thing so I could Escape away from. the punishment and I could put something. on and make believe I was my sister and. make believe I was that person that was. being cherished I could make believe I. was that person that was being taken. care of I could make believe I was that.

person that never got punched in the. face make believe I was that person that. never got paddled never did anything. wrong and I would say that to to a. counselor and then it was pretty much a. transgender and this is the problem. right now with with the DSM counselors. with all of them is that they refuse to. accept the fact that gender dysphoria. exists that not everybody's transgender. the fact that autophilia. exists so gender dysphoria is um exactly.

what I'm describing is is the want to be. a different gender for whatever reason. so for my reasons wasn't escape and my. reasons was to not be me and the only. option I had that I could look at that I. modeled that I saw as the way out was my. older sister if I had an older brother. that was the same way then maybe I would. have been uh maybe that jealousy and. maybe that dysphoria was just to the. same gender but something a little. different something that was like I just.

want to be him my older brother is only. like a year older than me and uh not. somebody that I would model because he. was very different than I was like I was. I was a little more studious when I was. a reader he was an athlete and he was. very popular and was not popular and he. was a little more natural athletic and I. was not I had to work at it so he could. do all of the stuff like pretty easily. naturally for football like we were. playing football together and for me I. would have to work out on weekends and I. would have to get down there to the. tackl and dummy and I would just keep.

blocking over and over again on block. and sled until I could move it you know. by myself and that was the only way I. got good at football it was the same. thing pretty much with the SEAL Teams. too like I wasn't really that natural. Runner it's just that I was so stubborn. for my athleticism that I I made me an. athlete and I created it out of. perseverance out of just keep doing it. so when I talk about all this stuff to a. counselor I'm transgender they will not. say that I have some gender dysphoria I. have some um um misplaced.

um like my sexual identity my gender. identity my identity all of it went over. somewhere else and so this is something. I had kind of a breakthrough with my. fiance Courtney was that she showed me. um this one interview with this guy and. and he's started talking about. autophilia not even gender dysphoria not. transgender not anything what is that. what is it autophilia is where I started. talking about that sexual misplacement. about sexual arousal what happens to a.

person is we all have sexual arousal. accuse so whatever yours is it most. people it would be an exterior cue for. you to become sexually roused for you to. see something or someone or whatever and. you go. wow that's hot you know what I mean. that's but it's something for most. people it's an exterior arousal uh cue. and for some people it's an internal. arousal cue but it's an arousal CU. internally from the opposite gender and.

so for me because I was um always. looking at my sister and I was also so. sexually we were very religious family. also so I was in a religious bubble of. no sexual talk nothing I never heard. about the bir and ab bees probably I. don't know if I ever heard about the. birds and ab bees I had to learn all on. my own and so that's why I said I was a. virgin I was 22 and I was very afraid. and it was like and this is like the. most embarrassing stuff he could ever. talk about to anybody and this is why I. would never talk about it and I think.

this is why all the other people that I. have um gender confusion will never. really talk about it even though a. psychiatrist psychologist you rarely. ever talk about everything SOC saying. that sexual comes from within for me so. what is that can describe that what was. that not anymore because I figured it. all out and when I figured it out all of. it so part of my sexual arousa will come. from myself because that's all I had for.

a few. decades and so for me to put something. on it's a little bit feminine and then I. look at it and go wow okay that's kind. of and I get some arousal out of that. but that all ended like like 1,000% it. totally at 180 on me so there is a way. for you to go through like some really. hard digging and really investigating. your internal um monologue and your. internal that it goes deeper than.

intellect it goes down to like where. your soul actually exists almost it's. like everything so I I I look at my. child I have to go a day by day and year. by year and I look at it where did it. happen what happened where is this where. is that and I kept doing it I was doing. a lot like I was talking about the Salos. salivan when I was doing that is when it. opened up the most so it it opened up. memories for me of what was going on and. that was when I figured out the memory. in 10th Grade with that guy it made me.

figure out my sister and my relationship. to her and how I saw her and it made me. look at why I was so sexually um I'm. such a prude also where I'm so afraid of. sexuality so when I do see those drag. queens doing that I'm um it gives me and. it's not a phobia it's not a fear but. I'm not afraid of drag queens but it. makes me fearful for what they're doing. and what is happening with the kids that. they're exposing them to because I know. what they're doing is going to be the. same way that it happened to me you know.

it's similar in in many ways it's so. dangerous and um this isn't. something the psychological Community is. making a giant mistake right now and. they're letting it happen and that's why. I had to quit going through do that. course because I saw the errors and I. saw what they were doing I see how. they're changing definitions I see how. they're erasing out entire um issues. within their Manual of of of issues so. and I don't want to say they diseases I. want to say that there are sicknesses.

because it's not always a sickness. sometimes it's a misplaced um just like. I said it was a misplaced um cue it's a. misplaced like a diagnosis things happen. no I'm talking about my internally I had. I had a Mis placed Q I had a misplaced. um sexual identity because I was it was. it was. so it's so hard to talk about all this. stuff because it is so incredibly. personal and very embarrassing too. because I mean how do you talk about.

this person that was like this Navy SEAL. who was a virgin to 22 years old who had. a sexual identity that was misplaced to. a point when I found sexual arisal. Within Myself I was so isolated that was. all I had when did you find it was it. was incredibly embarrassing incredibly. hurtful and it makes me like I don't. like talking about this but I want. people to understand that all. transgender people are not transgender. some of them probably are a lot of them. probably are but I bet you half or more.

are not half or more have gender. dysphoria and or autog gyil or Inc in. intense anxiety or. depression and they get dressed up and. you get love bombed and when you get. love bombed everything changes and love. bombing is a term invented by a cult. about what the Cults do to their members. so as soon as you walk in at church.

you're going to have people hugging you. and loving you and giving you anything. you want and being so uplifting and then. the choire and everything's so good so. your anxiety and depression just. disappears so if you have somebody that. has intense um depression or intense. anxiety and that person might be gay. might not be gay might be confused might. be anything above but enough of their. life is is into that realm close enough. just like myself like some of the first. times I ever got dressed up I had people.

saying oh my God you're so beautiful but. I was like it was it was it was Madness. to say that was Beauty it's Madness to. say on top of that building that weird. sculpture that gold thing on top of that. Courthouse with the stuff anybody that. calls that thing beautiful it's just it. they're they're it's not where would. this when did this. start to dress it up I would have. started sometime in like seventh grade. eighth grade somewhere that young like.

yeah it was. always I say it was grade school but. when I really started thinking about it. I think I said a few times I was like. and it's confusing because it. was one time maybe that young cuz had. older sister and then I had my younger. sister and then just kids playing you're. going to you're going to put on your. sister's Easter Bond and you're going to. we're going to do you know kids so there. were a few times there that I did a kid. thing you know but it had nothing to do. with sexuality had nothing to do with. dressing up had nothing to do with.

transgender it was just kids being kids. but that was always a memory and then I. always had that jealousy with my sister. and so when I was in eighth grade ninth. I don't it was um I'm trying to remember. like the exact time it would have been. Lynchburg Virginia when I was at lford. Christian Academy with Jerry fwell you. know I was I went to school with Jerry. fwell Jerry fwell Jr they Jonathan is. his real name I went to school with him. so during that time period is when. probably really happened you know cuz.

then I was more isolated I was more into. that religious thing and sexuality if. you crush sexuality then you're crushing. a part of humanity we are sexual beings. and so a problem that a lot of religions. do is they cross sexuality down to a. point when they cause. problems and it it happens and I think. that's part of what happened to me was I. within a religious institution where. sexuality was for boded it was like you.

don't mean say the word and that's the. way my parents were treating and that's. what was my home life you know that's. why I never saw my parents ever do. anything affectionate like I said I. think I saw my parents hold hands one. time in my entire life they showed some. affection to each other it was an. indoctrination for Generations I think. it was yeah it was and then it finally. dropped the hammer on me you know that. all of it coasted it all came together. and it just dumped on me and it was.

because of the abuse it was because of. some other things were happen it was. because of. the older sister and an older brother. and me and then I was taking all. everything went downhill on top of me me. you. know and my they'll say yeah you know if. you talk to am brothers and sisters say. yeah Chris got it the worst and even in. buds I probably got it the worst because. I was I was I was outspoken when I was. in um f you know FNG in my first platoon.

there was only two people that got hazed. overseas we were deployed in Thailand. and this is why I never went to Dam Neck. when after second platoon I tried out a. third platoon I tried out never went to. damn neck cuz I beat somebody off that. was that damn neck before me cuz they. were hazing me in Thailand a dude was. just messing with me Bucky and he was. just in my face it was just it was. getting too much I was angry and I I'm.

pretty strong you know and I have like. that farmer strength because I can throw. those 80 80 pound hay bills you know up. on the hay wagons and I have farmer. strength and so I don't look like I'm. very big but I have some farmer strength. and so he was doing that to me and it. was entir and we were on this boat ramp. down into where we're getting ready to. launch off and on a cement boat ramp and. he's sitting there giving me crap doing. that and he was on the lowest side of. the boote ramp so he was downhill for me. a little bit so I grabbed him like that. I lifted him off the ground I threw him. and because he was on the boat ramp like.

that and he went down the boat ramp up. in the air and they said that he took. his first freef fall parachute with no. parachute the guy was in the air and it. hurt him bad and so I tried off from. damn neck and I was I was a top charger. you I was good and um did everything it. was all right in front of the master. chief board when I ask us all the. questions and it was fine and I was like. I want to go to greaty Team because I. live on a sailboat I lived on a sailboat. for like six years I used to swim out to. my boat I take all my clothes off and. put them in a plastic bag and swim out. to my boat so I was really into the.

nautical stuff I was working on my. 12pack and I was working on my 100ton. Maritime license so I was doing a lot of. stuff that would have been perfect for. gray you know and those guys said the. same thing they're like yeah you you. have yeah cool but then if you get. Mobility unit one dude one guy can say. no at the team they have all the. pictures up of whoever tries out and if. you get one mark across your across your. photo you won't go.

ever so and I was just like dude I was. that person that I got hazed overseas. why because some of those older guys. that had a couple Tunes under their belt. or whatever it was like if they were. doing stuff that was HED it was like I. was I was the one that was like even. though I'm a new guy I was older CU I. already went through all the college and. I did all this other stuff and I went to. VMI and I was in Ranger platoon and I. knew the ranger handbook better than any. seal I probably know except Nick cuz he. went to Ranger school but I did all the. ricondo.

stuff it it was just terrible so it felt. almost just like I just it was my place. I'm just going to keep getting beat on. you know and it just what you know why. why so was that is that a is that an. Institutional um problem is that my. ancestors and all of that old um you. know passed on hereditary of this grief. of this and there's a word for it why.

can't think of a word it's a pass down. um mental health stuff and all this. anxiety and all this other stuff it's um. generational trauma you know that's the. word for it if you look up generational. trauma it's real know we hold on all. that not in us and so I feel like I. probably had all the generational Trauma. from my entire family going back. whatever however gen it seems like it. all dumped on me do you think that can. be broken oh yeah I broke it yeah yeah I. mean I'm I'm continue and try to break.

it but I make mistakes sometimes with my. fiance and her son you know not huge but. I do sometimes make the same mistakes. that my dad was doing to me you know and. then I get corrected pretty quick cuz my. fiance is awesome but it's one of the. things you know and sometimes it's. really hard to break those things you. know you have to keep working on it's a. constant struggle so I think all of that. and about e8th grade was when that first. started happening so and that's because. puberty you know ninth grade it was in.

that time frame e or nth whatever yeah. it started having I started getting. puberty so I started I had some wet. dreams you know I didn't know what that. was I was like what the heck and I was. like that's how bad I was that's how. naive and how terrible it was how I got. raised you know you can't raise a kid. totally in the dark like that and. totally isolated you know what's going. to happen this is what happened and so I. found that and be because I know. girlfriends in high school but I like. bunch to girls I I found out later in.

life that some of them liked me too but. I was too afraid to even like ask him. out so I never did anything you know and. uh that's what happened to me and so as. I was getting dressed and then I started. figuring out and then I started being. aroused when I was dressed cuz there was. nothing else you know there's no porn. anywhere in the house for sure but the. porn problem is even worse than what I. was doing I think you know and that. should be a conversation that I think. porn is one of the reasons why we are.

where we are right now you know it's a. it's a it's a slow degradation of your. own moral compass inside of you everyone. that does it if you're constantly on. porn you keep looking at it you're. degrading yourself every time you do it. you know and you're making it worse and. worse and you're pushing yourself. further and further back and so the only. Outlet I had was just like I did it once. and it was like oh wow okay this is cool. and then you do it again so it. reinforces what you had you do it again. it reinforce do it again it reinforces.

and so all those constant reinforcements. of my own self plager because that's all. I had got kind of stuck on that train. were you doing that through your entire. career I mean all the way from grade all. the way even even then like in school. like when I was a kid it would be like. very rare so I would basically like. steal my sister something and I would. keep it for like a day maybe or just. that night and then maybe they're at. school I would fake me in sick the next. day to make sure I could put everything. back you know so it was always like very.

short periods of time and very um. seldom but that was all I had and so if. I did it once every six months or once. every once a month or whatever not mean. that much later in life because it. started but in the SEAL Teams it was. almost never because we were always in. like these open Barracks it was the. showers and we had group showers you. know and because still all of my focus. was still on feminine I'm not gay you.

know it was always still the female. um you were always attracted to femal. the attraction was always feminine but. for whatever reason it turned into. feminine towards myself which made all. of this kind of really hard to figure. out and psychologists will deny that all. God of family even exists almost and. they deny that gender dysphoria exists. it's just all transgender now they want. everyone to be transgender why why do. they why it's money driven.

now so if you're if you have gender. dysphoria all you need to do is Gacy. counseling and do it once in a while and. you can recover from it you can heal. yourself you can do this just like I did. if you have autophilia you can heal. yourself and you can redirect a lot of. that and so my redirection for that. right now isn't really fully complete. either so I'm still and my fiance God. bless her is just the most patient. person and she knows what's going on.

because she actually has a lot more um. intelligence for a lot of this than I do. even I wish she was here talking she. would be much more coherent but. um she's patient. and she knows that the the final outcome. is going to be an incredibly um. compassionate person with a lot of. knowledge about the feminine species and. about a lot of things that most men. don't understand or can't even partway. comprehend and so if I did ever become a.

marriage counselor i' probably be an. amazing marriage counselor because I can. talk right now about a lot of things. that women do that they should work on. to be better with their men you know for. example um women. um reward bad behavior and they punish. good behavior all the. time and it works like this so if a dude. is doing really good and buying her. flowers and being awesome she thank you. and really awesome stuff and it's really.

cool but um it's just it's more of that. normal plane of just we're living. together and we're having a great life. and it's really wonderful but if that. dude starts doing really bad stuff and. really stupid stuff. she's going to start really kicking on. the love and she's going to really start. doing extra stuff to try to get him back. on the good side she's rewarding bad. behavior and so what they should be. doing is when the dude starts being kind. of a jerk she's say just say it call it.

out saying hey you're being a jerk right. now and I don't really want to be with. you right now and I'm going to go sleep. on the. couch you know and then he goes what was. I doing you know let's talk about it. then you have a conversation you you. speak about everything that's going on. and then you work it out and then he. starts being doing really good stuff. again then she starts rewarding then. that's when you want to say hey we've. been having the best time right now and. I don't think we've had a fight or an. argument even in like this whole week.

you know let's go out on Friday and have. a great time let's go have some fun and. then when we get back home I have a. surprise for you like if women would. start doing that they would find um a. drastic change in behaviors that's just. one I have a whole bunch of stuff like. that there's there's so much I can do. right now because I I did live on that. side I didn't I didn't live on that side. but I was imitating that side and so I. was trying in all the different ways to. try. to be my sister you know and that's what.

happened in um the opoids and all the. depression and my anxiety about. everything else and the PTSD and TBI and. everything on top of it you're talking. about a big big ball of mental health. issues oh yeah you know and that's with. a lot of veterans and I pray that those. veterans out there didn't have the child. that had had to make all of the other. stuff start happening because they're. going to end up in the same boat that I. was in you'll end up going there if you. had everything I had in my life it's a.

recipe for everywhere I went you know. and that's all the stuff that I had to. figure out I had to figure it out the. hard way cuz none of those psychologists. were helping out they all wanted to make. money off me they wanted to write a book. with me and be a millionaire that was. the book it was a book that I hired a. lawyer to try to stop I didn't want that. book to go out there part way through. the writing of the book I figured out. what she was doing and so I started. fighting it and I started half that book. is her making stuff up that nobody.

really knows about you know half the. book is me because I was giving her. information I was working with her but. then when I realized what was going on. and I got that lawyer to try to stop the. book and try to do something else or at. least have me have the final say you're. a contributor but it's my book it's my. life what turned out was she wrote the. contract and I signed it under the. influence of booze and drugs and. everything else there was a chapter she. actually wrote that never got put in a. book about my drug use and about how bad. I was because she knew where I was she.

took advantage of it you know and I'm. not saying I'm a total you know um kid. that you're going to take advantage of. in really easy way especially right now. but at that time in my life I was in. really bad lots lots of veterans get. taken advantage of when they're in that. state yeah. because you it's not you it happens a. lot it wasn't at all it's benzos it's. anti-depressants it's mood enhancers. it's so the first iatrist took advantage.

of me and she knew exactly what she was. doing it's traumatic brain injury so. yeah so had you ever vocalize. that no I I didn't know that was the. first time you vocalized it when you. after you retired to somebody oh Psy oh. yeah yeah oh so what happened was I was. at this huge meeting and it was It was. kind of in one of the areas where the. Pentagon Works in Crystal City like we. have Skiffs all over the place so we're.

in this place I'm giving this big brief. and I'm sitting up there with um who's. the guy that wrote accidental gorilla. really good dude famous dude um he gave. a talk on accident on the gorilla and. then we had one of the um SE fours or. fight he was way up high like big and he. was giving a talk and then he had me. giving a talk so three of us were up. there talking to this whole audience and. so at the time it was like. 2012 I was talking about 3D printing and. I was talking about the failure of the. FBI and a failure of ATF and a failure.

of everybody because you guys are. missing a point you guys are doing all. these laws and guns and all this other. stuff I said in about 10 years I'll be. 3D printing a gun in my basement I said. that in. 2012 13 somewhere right in there for. that no it was yeah it was and of 13 cuz. it was just before I came out so it have. been sometime in that time perod so I'd. have to really think about it I could. probably give you the exact time but um. and I told him a lot of other stuff and. I said this is the future I said if you. guys aren't starting to look at where.

the future is going and what we're doing. with technology and you're starting to. do it right now then you guys are going. to miss a boote and I gave them a lot of. things like the 3D printed gun and I was. talking to him about 3D printing. Pharmaceuticals and about and I said I. could do all that stuff for in my. basement and I said pretty soon I said. I've already 3D print and I'm doing all. this other stuff and so this stuff it's. not rocket science you know if I can 3D. print I can load up all these tubes with. these different. things you know I can load them up with. pharmaceutical you know grade this and I.

can do them down in the micro stuff you. know because we were already doing some. super micro stuff that I could talk to. you about that's like. um if you take the battery out of your. phone I can still listen to you. in the old days when you took the. batteries out you take the batteries out. and think you're good and you go in. there and skiff and you can talk about. whatever you want oh I could still. listen to you damn we were doing stuff. that you could never find what we were. doing ever and you never will and it's. in every piece of equipment right now in.

every chip right now there's there's. stuff and where are we buying all the. chips from. China Taiwan yeah yeah. so and and I was talking about all this. stuff back in like 12 13 time period so. I was with my buddy and he's a he's a a. d boy from brag a really good dude he. passed away a little while ago but um. one of my best friends you know and Dave.

he's you know Hugh was awesome and he. was one of my mentors and I was kind of. one of his mentors sometimes too cuz we. were just it was sympod too and we would. help each other out and really do stuff. it was it was the best like Tech Team. and it was me and him and it was about. five other people on our Tech team and. they give us that little group this. carnivore group if you give our. carnivore group any problem in the world. we'll solve it you know Steve vles one. of those guys you know and there's a.

bunch of other guys but. um he was he saw the psychiatrist and he. knew this person was a PTSD military. expert in PTSD this psychiatrist that's. what she does and uh he talked to her. and says hey my buddy there you know. Chris he's been going through a lot and. I'm afraid for his life and and and he. started going into some of the stuff. about what me and have talked about. slightly to soft you know he never knew. about the other stuff and so the. psychologist started talking to me and I.

was like yeah I said I have a lot of. stuff going on and I said I I definitely. have some PTSD and I have this and I. have that I said but there's there's. this too and I showed her a picture of. me dressed up and she was like and she. was like hey let's meet tomorrow and. talk about this more and let's do that. and then the next day is when she. started saying you know we could write a. book and we could be millionaires and. that was pretty much it are you serious. yeah one just one conversation yeah yeah.

well it was the next day so that that. night during that thing it was a huge. event I had people all over me cuz I. can't I got like as soon as I give one. of those talks and they realize that I. could fix their stuff or I had I talked. about something and they say that was. really interesting you know let's talk. about that more like the Iron Man stuff. and the nuclear batteries and a lot of. other stuff that I was working on you. know it was it was Vision which was the. problem but we're doing other stuff now. so we fixed it so it's not a big deal.

but when they realize that I work on all. this stuff they want to talk to me and. they want to say and set up further. meetings and figure some stuff out and. then even bring me in and say hey just. want you to consult so at that time I. was doing consulting five $500 hour you. know if you bring me in for a couple. hours it was a grand for me you know two. hours was a th000 bucks for me in those. days you know if I was doing any. Consulting for any of those other groups. and. um it all fell apart at that point cuz. then I showed her that and she started T. of me started doing all the other stuff.

and then I was like I was like I don't. care I said I'm probably going to be. dead soon you the way I was living and. everything was going was I was very. shortlived so at the time I was in a. motorcycle club and I my hair was on. fire you know riding across Bridges. standing on my seat at 100 miles hour. you know across Coronado Bridge they. clocked me at 140 on my seat you know. it's just that's kind of stuff I was. doing so what I said they lost track cuz. they said it was way over 120 they said. they they lost they said I don't know.

how fast you're were going but it was. definitely in a pretty high range you. know I have another motorcycle right now. that I could beat that so was this was. this what was she a psychologist or. psychiatrist. I don't know I don't even care they're. both the same one can prescribe. medications one can so was she was she. co-authoring the book with you and. treating you as a patient no the the. treatment was pretty much during the. writing of a book kind of because it was. and when I went through mental health. counseling then I realized all the stuff.

that she was doing you know it was basic. counseling sessions you know and then. getting information and working on stuff. and digging and that's counseling. sessions but the thing was it was like. we you know. the idiot me signs a contract you know. when I was on you know all the Earth. blades and everything else and I was. doing other stuff too you know because. even when you're in a motorcycle club. you're going to get access to a lot of. stuff and so I've been known to do lines. of coke off at Hell's Angels bar you.

know back in those days you know I was I. was I was it was loose you know and H. Angels got to be really good friends. with me cuz I was riding a 1960. Kickstarter you know motorcycle and uh. one time I was riding and I crashed when. I was riding with those guys and it was. me and the president of ha's um Pete. [ __ ] Pete and um we were in front of a. pack of about 300 motorcycles and then. he started racing he started really. going and we were leaving a pack and I. was riding on a bik motorcycle that I.

built and uh it had kind of wide tires. it was FXR frame which is a really good. bike but um I just couldn't do what he. was doing and so I eventually was was. way over in a turn and I was like my. floorboards were scraping so bad I was. Sparks everywhere I was almost to the. point where it's like a race bike like. with a knee touching and that was on a. Harley and um the reflectors in. California they're above ground they're. above the asphalt so they they're up in. the air they just stick them on with um. glue you know and then so when I was. sliding across I hit that reflector my.

back tire comes off the ground just. enough to and threw me high side and so. I highs side in a turn and um broke my. foot dislocated my shoulder and messed. my back up a little bit but I slided on. top of the motorcycle I was able to roll. off it and I didn't get hurt real bad. and so the rest of the pack finally. catches up to us and I um I'm sitting. there against a tree and a bunch of guys. are wrenching on the bike and they. rehook a few things off to get it so I. could ride it again and so um the pee. comes over and he kicks me a foot the.

verin foot and he says hey let's go I. was like all right bike's running so I. get over there and I'm getting up like. this got moty all night cuz my arm was. dislocated but I didn't know it was and. so we get back to the bar and um they. say hey let's ride through the bar so I. might be one of the only non hell angels. that ever rode through the bar but so we. go to the back door and we ride through. the bar and everybody's like hitting us. on the back and I'm burning out and. stuff I ride off and I jump off the curb. and park the bike and then I get off the. bike and I'm hurting bad man my. shoulders down like here and so it's all.

it's messed up bad so I walk in the bar. and I got my hand talked to my thing. like that and um a New York uh ha guy a. hammer and this dude is an old Vietnam. guy and he's about 6'4 just a huge guy. probably weighs 300 and he can Ben. foress a car the guy's big dude and um. he was like Hey caveman you know what. are you doing man what's wrong with your. arm and I was like I don't know man I. was like back when I when I wiped out I. think I I hurt my shoulder he said take. your cut off you know let me see what's.

going on and because he was a Corman too. which was awesome so he says dude your. arm is dislocated and he was like you. just rode another 30 mil with a. disolated arm and I was like well you're. 20 miles whereever far it was I could. probably figure it out I know where I. wrecked it was off in the mountains up. past on Northern um San Diego way up in. the mountains where all the race bikes. go that's what we were doing and then. um he put me on the pool table wiped all. the balls off and people got mad but he. was like and everybody's like so he put.

me on a pool table and relocated my arm. and I was like Hey somebody get me I you. know I asked for Jack Daniels I said hey. let me have some Jack Daniels man I got. it and so one of the people got back. around the bar trying to got me some ja. anels and I was chugging Jack and then. I'm good I'm like dude and then uh he. gave me a poster he signed it he wrote. on there um Chris you're a hell of a man. um you're a friend to the end um Pete um. [ __ ]. HMC and uh that's like the life I was.

living and so I figured I was dead and. so what this person started doing I was. like yeah whatever I was living so far. on the edge that I would be dead almost. every day back then CU I was riding so. hard and living so hard I'm swimming out. to my sailboat or whatever I was doing. back in those days too so it was a crazy. life damn so I. um I was pretty far out yeah sounds like. and she was counseling me she said she. wasn't but she was I went through the. coures I know what she was.

doing but I mean at this point I don't. care but I want everybody to know out. there that I fought with a lawyer. against that book I didn't want that. book published it should have never been. published you know but at that point the. book went out and then like 3 days later. I get a phone I'm getting people. knocking on my door in my house after. that book came out people are knocking. on my door in my house and asking to do. interviews like news trucks were in. front of my. house you know because as soon as SEAL. Team Six transgender the whole world was. like ah and then all the people that.

support that whole. narrative just saw their first. champion cuz I mean it was so far out. that it's easy when you look at like if. you're like this somebody who's like a. hairdresser turns out to be transgender. that's like okay hairdresser okay cool. but when you have a Navy SEAL from damn. neck the whole world went crazy and so. they're all sitting in my front yard and. I keep saying no and I'm knocking on my. door and I have to put signs on my front. yard saying you know get away no.

interviews and then finally I get CNN. Anderson Cooper calling me he says Hey I. want to do an interview and I said I'll. be respectful I'm going to do this and. do that I was like well I'm not going. anywhere I said if you guys come down. here to my house and I'll do interview. next day he gets on an airplane flies. down to my house and there was like. there's a a storm huge storm watch going. on which was funny cuz then um when he. lands at the airport because it was such. a quick thing he just jumped on a. civilian plane and just flew he shows up. the airport he's walking through the. airport the storm is gone so everybody.

thinks he's there for the storm you know. it's pretty funny but he was there for. my storm you know and that was the. biggest mistake I ever made cuz I was. just sick of all those trucks in my yard. never knock on my door so I was like. okay I'm going to do one interview. and I'm done as soon as I did Anderson. Cooper then it was like the floodgates. were open and I got even more people. asking because then it was like some of. the story was out there and it was a. very short one and then CNN calls back. again and they say hey we want to do a. documentary so it was a Christa Christen.

because that lady because I was suing. her with a lawyer we couldn't use the. name of the book Warrior Princess they. would have used the name of the book on. that CNN Special because I was fighting. with her with the lawyer and it was this. crap everything was going on she would. not let us use the name of a book for. the CNN thing so it had to be they had. to title it Christ to Christen you know. so I mean this is all this all helps. with the story to tell you that I'm I. messed up a lot should have never done.

Anderson Cooper should have never done. any of that and never happened when she. was talking to me about that I should I. didn't know anything about psychology. and when you talk to psychologist as a. military person because we're. institutionalized. we think they're trying to help we think. they're the experts we think that. they're the captain trying to make us. good or their Master Chief trying to do. something but that wasn't the case at. all I don't think that's the case with. very many of them at all right now. because they're getting rid of all the. terminology out out of their manuals. they're erasing the whole part of that.

book to try to make everybody in. transgender and that's what I quit doing. that counseling because it's criminal. what they're doing they're teaching all. these people all like it's it's not. right you know they're making people. transgender and that's what they didn't. do that to me I did it to myself I just. fell into it I was just like I don't. care at that point I didn't care well I. mean you were in a very vulnerable state. you know and then I me it sounds like.

yeah when so how did these conversations. go you know it's it obviously started. with you showing the picture yeah and. then and then the next day we met and. then we met more and then it was just. the questions were the questions that I. would have been asking myself if I was a. counselor you know the digging and. trying to figure stuff out it's a. counselor work I want to know about your. childhood I want to know about your. military I want to know about where did. the PTSD come from and all this other. stuff and where did that and so all the.

stuff she was doing was it was. counseling sessions at what point did it. did it come up to actually. transition oh pretty quick. after yeah real fast after what did that. initial conversation sound like I don't. remember I just remember that pretty. soon after I was getting dressed all the. time and I didn't care anymore and I was. like I'm going to do it and I don't care. what anybody says and uh I'm just going. to try to figure something out and I.

said if this is the only way I can find. happiness for myself then this is what. I'm going to do and so I still had that. job you know that really good job that I. really messed up and um when I walked. into Pentagon like that it was like it. was nuts and then they can't fire you. for it but they sure can stop calling on. the phone they sure can stop sending. emails they sure can make it really. difficult and um and it wasn't all on.

purpose cuz at that time man I was a. mess and so I would have done the same. thing to me and I deserved it you know. and I didn't deserve that job and so. because I started getting less and less. communication less and less contact and. doing my projects for me I was like I. was like to the guy I was like I'm not. doing as much work anymore so I want to. cut my work week down in half and just. half salary you know and just just do. this I say okay immediately and so I'm. at half pay now because I'm not doing.

the same work I volunteered that and. then after about six months of that half. I was just like I went back in there and. I says you know what I said I'm not I'm. not doing what you guys hire me for this. is not at all what you guys expected or. what you hired me for I said it probably. better just to let this contract go and. just I'll just I'll just go away and. they're like. okay did you ever take hormones yeah for. a little while yeah Y how long is a. little while so uh couple years what did.

that not even not even Conant probably. wasn't even a couple years total a. couple years yeah but I would say a. couple years just to I don't know how. long cuz it was on off and I wasn't I. wasn't very good with it you know about. taking it and doing it on time and. making it all work and it was it was. patches you had to put on and then some. pills and I wasn't I didn't really I I. don't think my heart was in it like. fully and that's probably why I didn't. really like really Chase it I mean and I.

don't know why I was looking back and I. was like I don't know why I was so. like I was never really part of that. Community either because they even knew. it that whole transgender Community. never accepted me really you know I was. always like kind of on the outside I was. never invited to parties or their stuff. and they have this whole list of people. who were like the influential. transgender people it's called and it's. supposed to be this list of all the you. know and it was like everything that I. did in that CNN stuff and in that movie.

and all the other stuff I was doing I. was trying to help people it's like I. was clearly like one of those people. that I would have had on that list but. they boycotted me cuz they all hated me. I think a lot of them knew that I just. wasn't really like. them you know inside they all kind of. had the suspicion you know what was fing. it good what was the hormone treatment. like did that alter your mental state oh. yeah yeah yeah I I would think it would. I mean it does the um it's basically a.

Blocker of testosterone then they add um. synthetic estrogen and that's what they. do and then for the kids when they start. talk hormone blockers or what they're. doing is they're blocking all of it you. know they're doing like a really big one. and that's going to be the same the. hormone blockers they're giving kids. right now is the same pharmaceutical. same drug that they give to prisoners to. pedophiles when they want to um. chemically castrate if you want to. chemically castrate a prisoner who's a p. they can't do that anymore because it's.

inhumane I think it' be the best thing. for him but it's the same drug they're. giving. kids that's criminal that's what they're. doing and and every kid they start doing. that to is money in her pocket I mean. they're doing it right here in Nashville. Vander University Vanderbilt University. it's criminal is doing it is Criminal. now some of those kids will turn out to. be transgender some of those kids will. turn out to have gender for you some of. those kids will turn out to have.

autophilia and so if you take let's say. a hundred of those kids you know if 50. of those kids are transgender the other. 50 they're hurting and they're not. talking about that I know you know and. that's what I think that where their. biggest mistake is right now is even. with those drag queens and even with all. the push are doing all these kids it's. like well if they're transgender we just. want them to be happy he says yeah but. what if they're not transgender what if. they're only transgender because they're. going to school and when they sit in. their classroom with their teachers all.

they're seeing is Rainbow flags and all. they're hearing about is gender stuff. and all they're getting fed is that and. then as soon as they show up and they. say anything even closely resembling. being transgender they get love bar. by the teacher and by a whole bunch of. the other students and because they're. just a really lonely depressed kid or. whatever's going on or let's just say. it's a little girl let's say she wears. glasses let she she has red hair and. she's a little awkward because all girls. are awkward at that age you know they're. grown and they're going through puberty.

and stuff is going on you know and I can. tell you that almost every female I talk. to they will say that when they were. growing up you know they hated their. body and they had this and they have all. this girls have the hardest time time. and especially nowadays because of the. Kardashians and all other crap you know. we're making these girls hate their own. bodies and so what did they do and. especially for that little girl who's. having a really hard time and she sees. all those boys over there and she sees. what's going on she's go well I'd rather. be a boy you know they're having a way.

better time if I'm a boy everybody's. going to like me and as soon as she does. it a little bit she she starts being a. tomboy they push her into transgender. and then next thing you know she's on. hormone blockers and next thing you know. she's a double mess ectomy just like. Chloe Cole at 15 years old she had a. double mess actom me she was a tomboy. and now she's like 19 or 20 and she's on. she's talking to people and she's saying. how big of a mistake it was and she's. saying how she got loved by him how it.

all happened to her and what happened to. her and now she's a woman a young woman. who a double Mass actom me and she has. the deepest voice cuz she was on test. oston for a long time and she has a lot. of other issues going on CU you're going. through puberty and you're getting. chemically castrated and then you start. taking any hormones and all that and. you're going through puberty that's the. introduction of all these chemicals to. your body you know and your body is. already in this huge struggle and that's. why puberty is so hard and you're adding.

all this other stuff on top of it they. doctors have no idea what they're. doing the the data they're using to give. these puberty BLS out is a prison data. from all those pados that's what they're. using yeah they're using data for being. transgender for all this stuff is by. that dude um what's his name freaking he. was a p and he was experimenting on. little kids he was experimenting kiny. Alfred Kenzie the Alfred Kenzie.

experiment that he did on kids he was. masturbating off a four-year-old kid I. think it's in uh table 70 or 71 look it. up alri Kenzie table 70 or 71 whatever. it is is he he masturbated a. four-year-old kid in a day and the kid. um was masturbated 26 times and he. ejaculated like um half of. them that's what they're using for their. data is this Alfred Kinsey guy and it's.

clearly um bad data it's clearly data. that was um. manipulated what you know and that's why. they say that children are sexual at. Birth and that's why they say that a. baby is sexual cuz they were also doing. it to. babies they they they made it happen I. mean everybody it's like. it's it it makes me hurt so bad for all. these kids and all the stuff that's.

going on if you take that hundred kids. who they're making transgender I. guarantee you at least 50 of them are. not well I don't guarantee you but I. will tell you what because of my. experience and what I know is happening. and how hard to push is and how. effective love bombing is to somebody. who's depressed and somebody who really. hates himself if you really hate. yourself and you really all that's going. on and you get love. bombed because you're wearing a dress. you're going to wear a dress that's your. only pleasure in life it's your only.

happiness it's the only time you and. that's just like I said earlier that. when I was having a really tough time if. I put on anything even slightly feminine. it would make me feel better. and it wasn't because of the dress it. wasn't because of the fem it wasn't. because of all that it was because I was. trying to escape my life that I was in. nothing to do with the fem. stuff and these are all the mistakes. that are being made that nobody wants to. talk about because automatically as soon. as you put any of this up online you're.

probably you're going to have so much. hate and I'm going to have way more hate. I'm going to have more death threats. after I was doing the rabbie Starbucks. thing it wasn't you know uncommon for me. to get death threat. and I do believe that probably me doing. this right now it'll probably happen you. know and I'm going to try to protect. myself but I don't have a doubt that me. talking about this much stuff and. talking about it I'm taking away a lot. of money I'm taking away millions of. dollars from Vanderbilt right now they.

have gender teams and this is why I said. it's the why they're doing it it's all. money cuz as soon as you make a. transgender kid you have a a client for. life you have a customer for life you. have a patient for life there's. complications there's constant. Pharmaceuticals all the time there's. constant updates and there's a lot of. surgeries so they created these gender. teams with one doctor and his um. anesthesiologist and all the nurses. everything else that does it to do the. gender surgeries they make.

$450,000 for one. surgery and it's all paid for by. insurance so it's a huge scam between. insurance and the administration in the. hospital it's not the doctors the. doctors are caught between a rock and a. hard place if you go to any one of them. doctors at vanderville there'll be some. of them that really fired up about it. because they're convinced that they're. helping these. kids and that's that um that total um. narcissistic compassion I'm talking. about they're only helping themselves.

and they're getting a lot of money doing. it so $450,000 for one surgery and the. surgery takes about four hours and. they're doing these things pumping them. out did you do and it all goes to. Administration. uh breast only and some facial stuff and. I regret every one of them and I'm. fighting back to go back to at least a. little bit of who I was before. physically and mentally but mostly. spiritually because it was a spiritual. um hole that I went.

into about um I don't know if you know. very much about the hermetics about. Hermes. um about how they see uh humanity and. gnostics and all that so human beings. and the way they see us is we are the. temple we are the highest of the Apex. and everything we do is man's um pursuit. of man's Perfection nothing to do with. God or Spirit or Creator or the code of. DNA that was actually in us they think.

they can do better they're rewriting a. DNA they're rewriting Humanity to try to. um be a better human and this is. transhumanism. and that's the full extent of where it's. going into is transhumanism and that's. why the neuralink and everything they're. doing is part of the transhuman agenda. transhumanist agenda it's all part of it. I mean I could go into this stuff for a. long time but you can track it all back. into Hermes and agnostics and going into. a lot of the way we see ourselves that.

we are not special we're just a rock. floating through um space spending at a. th000 miles an hour and going about a. million miles an hour towards the center. of universe there's a bunch of other. stuff going on. The Vortex calculations everything else. how we're spining them there's it's an. intense calculations which pretty much. proves why we're not doing any of that. you know but if we're that Third Rock. spinning through the universe that means. nothing we're just lucky Evolution and. all that then none of this. matters that's the end goal was there of.

what they want but if this is a temple. and this is special this is created for. a purpose and and is the Earth was also. the same thing then we we have to do. everything we can to care for this and. what they're doing right now is nothing. but damage so there was there was. no everything was encouragement to go. through with this there was no maybe we. need to think about this maybe the only. person that said Jim Campbell a Seal. Team guy that he wanted it like there's.

a few seals that challenged me on it and. they really but it was it was more like. a fight challenge it wasn't really a. mental challenge or intellectual. challenge or a spiritual challenge or. any challenge that made any sense like. if it was a psychological challenge that. they actually started digging into it. like actually happen to me later in life. and thank you you know to anybody that. did that and I know a couple of people. but it was mostly my fiance was was a. hardcore intellectual challenge to me. you know for me to really start digging. in and Co helped you know it was a fact.

that something happened on this Earth. that they were putting out data and. there was evidence that the data wasn't. really right you know and there's a. bunch of other stuff and it was like. this isn't really adding up you know and. so that started making people think and. waking up you know and looking at it and. that's what I talked to you earlier. about the apocalypse you know the word. Apocalypse in Greek and and Latin and. all the other ones derivatives of it the. word apocalypse and what they said in. the Bible and what it really meant was.

The Awakening it was about the um. lifting the veil is actually a more. direct interpretation but the veil is. lifted and the veil is is lifted right. now because of what happened in. 201920 people are starting to realize. what's going on we see the Rockefellers. who they are we see Rockefeller uh. Rothchild we see Gates we see all of. them I know what they're doing and when. I see anything to have to do with 33 or. one ey or any the above waen Boaz all.

the temple stuff I know all this stuff. because I studied it you know I know. everything they're. doing and the thing is it's it's uh it's. a very um evil agenda and it's exactly. what I said it's about transhumanism. it's about the human being the top of. that pyramid that there is nothing above. us it's about making us the perfect. thing that's when you have to take Wen. and Boaz and thit and you have to go to. the third and that's a combination of. the two and that's transgender.

too. baat you know who baat is no I don't. it's the Lucifer it's it's a it's a. worship being you know you know all of. them you know there's there's an agenda. that is so deep and so um entwined. within all of our societies there's not. very many places on Earth that doesn't. have this really deep you know so I'm.

talking about like an international. World um deep State whenever Trump was. talking about the Deep state in America. you know it's it's pretty bad and. they're all connected. and then that's why when you see a. picture of um President Obama sitting on. Bush senior's lap as a kid that's when. you start really seeing that they're all. connected when you see Bush Jr debating. as a presidential debate debating. against one of his brothers you know. from the same fraternity you know so.

it's it's just ridiculous how entwined. and everything really is so pretty much. exactly after Bush senior ever one of. them has been connected except Trump he. was the only one that was kind of off. you know out of that that he could. actually say things that weren't. controlled you know and that's the. problem right now is that every. president is picked and placed to do. exactly what they're told they have no. Freedom they have they have to answer.

exactly to the one person yeah and I. don't know what you know about the. Catholic church but there's also a. really um Twisted thing going inside the. Catholic Church the libr of Alexandria. is in the bottom of the Catholic church. it's not lost it wasn't burned you know. that's that was just cover story if you. go down four levels under the C under. the Vatican that's where it's at but you. have to go pretty deep in there it's all. locked up you won't let anybody in there. how. far how far were you prepared to go with. this well that's the problem is I've.

gone so far right now that all them now. are going to be looking at me and I I I. don't care though because the thing is. is the veils lift and I wear the armor. of God I mean with the transition how. far were you prepared to. go all right what I as far as you ask me. questions you ask me. anything were you going to dismember. what's that were you going to dismember. no no no no so I didn't have any full. surgeries if that's what you're asking.

okay so there's. um were they trying to convince you to. do. that no cuz at that time they already. knew that was such a loose that nobody. was really talking to me to that point. so I would have to do everything and. make it all happen and really start. pushing in a direction you. know so there's. um and that's also a surgery that's just. it's not experimental anymore because. they're pretty good at it but there's a.

lot of complications you know with a lot. of folks I mean I would think so I mean. I know some of them were the uh anal. cavity actually connected to that new. cavity they put and so it's pretty much. it's just it's really bad and I know. another one that had it all done and the. depth is about a/ inch and uh it hurts. really bad when she you know she pees so. there's a there's a whole bunch of stuff. and they're on constant Pharmaceuticals. all of them and constant maintenance so.

there's a lot of money in that so they. get $450,000 just for that one surgery. the breast augmentation would be about. 20 to $50,000 depending on the insurance. and the complications and everything. else Plus there's a there's a lot Facial. Surgery you're talking about up to. $100,000 to do anything with your face. um when you start talking about uh voice. uh coaching and then all the other. therapies and everything else you're. talking about you know a few million. dollar per person going directly into.

the pharmaceutical and the medical. administration not always doctors that's. why I said the doctors in in in between. at rock and a hard place the doctors are. in between insurance and the. administration at the hospitals that's. why vanderbel I feel sorry for all those. doctors cuz most of them probably don't. want to do this they know wrong they. shouldn't do it they know it's wrong you. but if they if they voice out their. opinion then they're immediately fired. well sometimes you just have to stand up. they should if we had some doctors that. started having that integrity and. started having that and their hypocritic.

oath if they knew what that oath really. meant and they knew that out of half of. the people you're doing this to I'm. telling you at least half or more is a. lot of other stuff you know or it's just. someone who's gay that just it's easier. for them in society and that's why I. think a lot of the gay community and the. lesbian Community are saying that. transgender people is actually. homophobia really yeah a lot of them but. they don't voice it because as soon as. they say that like they'll say it to me. because I'm pretty loud and they know.

where I stand a lot of them tell me that. stuff and a lot of females you know real. females will tell me for the fact that I. just said real females I'm going to get. a ton of hate. but I don't know because it it's hard. because they keep changing fale. biological female I wish we could use. the word female for females and use wom. for every the group because woman is. more Society driven maybe but in female. is more um biological so if they would. have at least given us the benefit of.

doubt that we're smart enough to know. that if I say the word female I'm just. talking about biology and I'm talking. about the person cuz you can't say. biologically a transgender person is a. biological is a female cuz they had have. all the surgeries they have all your. stuff done and same thing if you have an. obese child you don't take their large. or small intestines and cut in half so I. mean I know someone um you someone who. was so caught up in that that this is a. sexual attraction and problem that they.

are also not approaching is a Kardashian. influence for all this they're making. all these women get all these extra. surgeries because they want to be more. sexually attractive to their partner and. so it's a sexual arousal thing her. partner cuz her partner looks at all the. Kardashian stuff and see what they're. doing so it's big butts big lips and all. the other stuff that they're doing and. then the makeup and all the other stuff. and all these surgeries and boobs and. all this stuff well that's going down to. these kids so you have teenagers getting. breast. augmentation because they're looking up. to that and so this is the same as.

gender um. um uh dysphoria it's a it's a gender. dysphoria Woman to Woman it's in their. own selves and it's not transgender. Doria it's a it's a same gender. dysphoria and the Kardashians are. pushing that cuz it's a lot of money. it's the same thing so all these women. are getting all these surgeries and. getting breasts and lips and butts and. all these other things even a dude's. getting caffein plants all their stuff. and Arnold Cher stuff that's gender. dysphoria but it's at least it's in the.

same gender so it's not as bad actually. it's celebrated if you have a giant Cav. you're in a wait room and they say oh. leg day man you do legs you know they're. prayed for that love bomb for it but. nobody knows that they're actually you. know fake Cals you know yeah so the love. bombing is goes within it's their own. genders for this whole same agenda that. they're doing cross genders it's all the. same agenda and it's all money driven. it's all ego driven it's all sexual.

arousal driven do you see that yeah that. I know someone whose husband was seeing. her as overweight and so she went and. got one of those surgeries and she was. like you know not overweight she was. like 170 or one probably 160 Max in her. entire life she's like five six maybe. you know blond haired and really pretty. she's had like three boob jobs and then. she had her entire intestine cut out cuz. her husband wasn't sexually roused. enough to her and so she had it all done.

that's gender. dysphoria and it's also sexual arousal. misplacement and all the other stuff. they should be in therapy and never. would had to have surgeries cuz we could. have talked to him and said this and. this and really worked with him and then. no surgery don't worry about that you. don't need to do that cuz what she did. right now is she read shortened her life. a lot and made everything complications. about cuz your intestines and our bodies. are amazing. machines but she has a waist like this. big right now because she got rid of all.

of her guts you know her intestines are. totally gone so everything went in she. has waste like this big now but it turns. her husband on that's gender dysphoria. nobody talks about that the Kardashians. did that and their entire ilk the the. makeup industry all of them they push it. and it all goes down on the teenage kids. these teenage girls that's why they're. all transgender to trans men trans boys. the double Mass Acom me in their boy. they can't keep up with the. Kardashians you know and so they're.

better off over there living as that boy. rather than trying to keep up with all. that stuff and they do it to themselves. within the girl clicks too cuz as soon. as you have that group that has the. money and it happens to the poor kids. more it won't happen to the rich girls. cuz they have all the clothes that they. want if you're a kid in a small town in. the country and you don't have the money. and you're really struggling you have. hand-me down stuff you're going to. become a boy. now this is what's happening and it's.

the transhumanism agenda it's all. attached the less they make us respect. and value ourselves our biology and and. gift that we're given and the beauty of. the machine that we're given I told you. that my food intake is probably about. one/ tenth of what yours is and that's. also one of the things I read in these. really old books that the food intake is. um it's making your system work really. hard for a bunch of stuff that you're.

going to poop out later that you don't. even use any of those vitamins or. minerals or any of it you pee and poop. them all out you don't even use them. it's too much and so what it does is. makes all your systems work so much. harder and it wear and tear and all that. you're making your life shorter cuz. you're eating too much cuz you're taking. too many vitamins you're drinking too. many of Red Bulls and all them special. drinks that everybody's making nowadays. they're. garbage you know and drinking the cold. water in the ice is causing more of the. issues and you should be drinking warm. water and then everything that I'm.

talking about that I can tell you all. the nutritional stuff that I've been. learning over over. time it's just everything that's. happening right now to us as humans is. for the same reason it's an. agenda is to make us not like ourselves. for us not to respect ourselves for us. not to see the gift see the beauty of it. all the machine the beautiful machine to. make us destroy that machine into. something else and if something that's. man-made that's the full thing that they. want is the top of that pyramid it's not.

God it's man for. them it's horrible it's evil it's an. evil agenda I'm not saying transgender. people are evil cuz they've bash me on. that all over the place the transgender. ideology and a. transhumanism way into that because. that's what they're being told is the.

right thing just like with me at what. point did you come to the realization. that this wasn't. you I I know starting about four years. ago you would notice there was started. being some social media posts and some. other stuff and you'll see in pictures. when I'm. like a long-haired kind of a cute guy. and that's all oh but then there's brass. and some clothing I was a girl so but it. was just it was it was a while ago I.

started getting. inclination but it was way. more when I started having some really. deep conversations with. Courtney you know that's when it really. coales that's when it all came together. and I was like light bul went off this. is this is all. wrong how how long have you I've been. wearing flannel shirts in the summertime. you know I've been wearing these. flannels for every interview for a long. time yeah but and even in some of those. other reviews like on on Joe when I was. on with him I was trying to cover it off.

and trying to be as less as I could you. know I had all the long hair it was all. like in these braids like real tight and. then my flannel shirt and then just. it's like I I it wasn't me but it's. still part of me you know if you have. gender dysphoria autophilia or the. transgender to go the full spectrum the. full you know thing is um it never. leaves you and if you want to call me. transgender for life then it's like an.

alcoholic being called an alcoholic for. life you know I don't really believe it. but there's always that the thoughts are. there it's like I can't make the. thoughts fully all go away it's almost. totally obl it's totally gone but. there's always that thing because I. still like look at pictures and I go oh. every time I look in a mirror I see my. face and and and she's caught me a. couple times when I've look in a mirror. and she says you're okay you're. beautiful just like you are I go yeah. but I damage myself so much I don't look. like I should look when I look in there.

I don't see myself I see something that. I. destroyed and she and she'll just give. me a hug and hug me until I stop you. know and I'm like thank you I mean I I. still I still don't see it I still see. so much damage you know and it's not. damage that like getting blown up or. it's not and I I shouldn't have said. that because I thinking about Jay when I. I looked over at Jay's sign over there. on the wall and I go well it's not. damage but when I look at it it's not me.

and so I see that as damage you know. what I mean yeah so it's not something. anyone else ever see damn it you're. going to look at me and go wow you. you're handsome and you're this you're. that and you're goodlooking person cuz I. don't have have like you know I'm not. Quasimoto you know but when I look at it. I see Quasimoto in the. [Music]. mirror you know that I shouldn't have. done that is this and this and this you. know and this is the thing that Khloe. Cole a. 15-year-old who is now 19 or 20 who's.

seeing it and how many more kids do we. have to do that to they're going to be. in the same place that I am and now here. you look at me as a fairly intelligent. person think about a lot of stuff and I. really try hard to do the right thing. and I fell in this what's happened to. teenagers you know course you're an. extremely intelligent person I mean we. just went through your careers it's. phenomenal I mean I'm I'm serious you. know so if this can happen it's. persistent if it happens to me then.

those teenagers don't have a chance yeah. you know and they're pushing the age uh. even earlier so do you know that there's. actually laws and people are really. pushing for the age of consent to change. yeah so the age of consent they're. trying to push it back to like 10 or 11. years old do you know what happens when. the age of consent. changes then those parents have no say. that kid can go in there and do whatever. they want yeah you know what else. happens when the age of consent. changes what FC's list becomes.

mot so Epstein doesn't matter what they. were doing is fine it's okay that's. where they're going yeah that's that's. what they want cuz all the people on F's. list are pretty powerful people a lot of. them yeah you've seen the flight logs. there's flight logs you look at those. flight logs that went to Epstein's. Island if they were there for more than. an hour after they stepped off the plane. and saw what was going on they would get. back on a plane none of them did they. all stayed there for a long time what.

were they. doing so that flight log is basically. the list we know what they were doing so. it end everybody knows what they were. everybody knows and disgust me that we. still allow it and disgust me even more. they're trying to push the age of. consent lower do you want to make a. 10-year-old an adult that's what you're. doing so that 10-year-old should also be. able. to have sign up for the military a. 10-year-old can get tattoos a. 10-year-old can drink so you need to.

change a drinking age you need to change. all of them if the age of consent is. changed you better change drinking age. you. know but they don't think about this. stuff they don't or they do understand a. lot of them do but the general public. that's a problem the general public. needs to wake up and if the general. public stands. up what are they do you do you do you do. you think the general public is not. awake or do you think it's stupidity.

they're not aware no they're ignorant. and ignorance is no big deal you know. I've been ignorant about a lot of stuff. ignorance is something you can fix. ignorance just means I don't know you. know the the general public is ignorant. to all this stuff the general public. doesn't know if they do know they think. it's fake or something or they think oh. somebody's making that up I said well if. somebody can make this up then why can't. somebody make up the other. too so why don't you at least look at. all of it they won't even look at. it so here's an example in Brazil right.

now perfect example in Brazil right now. 92% of the people are saying um they. don't want uh is it the mass. mandates oh it's a vaccine so down in. Brazil right now it's um 92% of the. Brazilians the people the Brazilian. people 92% say no vaccines you cannot. mandate these you can't do anything no. and the government said nope we don't. care if you don't take the vaccine you. go to jail if you speak out about the. vaccine and you say anything bad or.

negative about the vaccine you go to. jail so 92% of the people say that so. what happens to the jails when they. start filling the jails up you know who. they let out. in California they just let out all the. pedos yeah they released them to the. wild why aren't they still in jail they. should be because they're filling the. prisons up with people that just have a. have a problem with the government say. I'm not I'm the best person the. government would ever have on her. side I'm I'm like I'm all about.

leadership but if leadership is failing. I'm going to call it out that's what. we're supposed to do you know it's in. the Constitution we're supposed to be. calling them out no is it the. Constitution might not be but but I mean. basically it's written in there that's. why we have second amendment that's why. they wrote it to make sure that tyranny. doesn't happen and right now we have a. tyranny of the masses we have a tyranny. of a small group of Elites and that's. what we should start fighting tyranny of. the masses is more dangerous than the. terity of the elite tyranny to mass is. dangerous how long when did Courtney.

come in the picture um Courtney came. into the picture uh two years a little. over two years maybe it's been while. yeah it's been a little while but um. started out just conversations you know. meeting on social media and just like a. smart person makes some comments and I. go wow that's cool or somebody makes a. comment says I recognize that and if you. want to talk about that I I went through. a lot of same stuff and I'll talk to you. about it so we started talking about.

stuff and then after talking about stuff. then we finally met and after meeting it. was like wow you know it wasn't love at. first sight it was love before that. probably but it was it was no it wasn't. I'm just making that up were you Chris. or when you met Kristen you were. Christen when you met yeah well legally. right now my name got legally changed. cuz a bunch of lawyers volunteered to me. they said hey we'll do it for you I wish. they didn't if nobody volunteered to. change my name I never would have. changed it but they said they said hey.

this is something that we want to do for. you and we're lawyers and we're the best. lawyers in America and we'll do this for. you and so they did it all and I wish. they did it was the worst thing thing to. do so my name legally is. Kristen that's why it's Kristen on. social media were you identifying as a. woman no I was kind of in between. probably I was more like in that middle. spot leaning more towards oh yeah I'd. have to ask her that you know what she. really thought but I think that she it. was a little bit of old because I was.

still kind of stuck into Christen roll. because it was really it's so hard to. get out of that there's people counting. on me and I have so much other stuff. going it's already like when you jump in. into the water head first off that. diving board it's really hard to get. back up on that diving board yeah and so. for me to get out of all that took a. long time so I was partly out not all. not even close to being do you want her. to come on what's that do you want. Corney to come. on um I mean I think overall it be very.

beneficial I think it would be good. because the the amount. of what I've been going through I could. never get through it on my own not at. all without her I wouldn't be here right. now without her I don't know where I. would be it it wouldn't be anywhere I'd. still be just hiding cuz if you notice. like as far as like the news and the. media and all that like when was the. last time you ever saw me in a media. until all of this like very rarely I I. don't like the media and I even said. like Robbie Starbuck you know great dude.

and. um that interviewed and I told him I. said I don't want to do any more. interviews I said I'll do this one. interview and I'm done but then when I. started seeing what was going on at the. interview I was like well I I can't be. done because people are still like. really misinterpreted are really. confused or they don't get it you know. or they're thinking that I'm saying. something it's like no like the the. bumper stickers you know that you can. take a little snip it out of CNN out of. fox and it's going to be whatever they. want to be yeah and so it's the same.

thing people took a lot of stuff that I. said on Robie Starbuck and they're. making me into this Christian wacko you. know and it's also even the stuff I said. on Joe Rogan it was very I was strategic. about the stuff I did on Joe Rogan and. about a lot of stuff I actually put. online is that I am trying to make my. one post um my social media account has. a lot of stuff on there that all I'm. doing is asking a bunch of questions I'm. looking at stuff and it's about Flat. Earth and a fake Moon and about about. all kinds of stuff it doesn't mean I. believe all of it it means that I'm.

looking at it I'm really interested. because it's really curious you know and. I don't know why so many people would. look at that and they show me all these. proofs and all these other things so. makes me even more curious. with the Shadows so if you look at the. moon landing you see the lunar module. all that and you see the shadows and. there's multiple Shadows you know and so. why would they bring um these kind of. huge lights up on the moon with them to. do the moon landing videos well it's not. get into that it's the sun all I'm. saying is that I do a lot of wacky stuff. I do it strategically because there are.

questions I just want to answer that. nobody's going to answer so I put it out. there and I say hey I just want to know. you know is what's up with that yeah you. know so my my presence on a lot of stuff. is going to is going to look. very pretty far out and it's. purposeful I probably can't tell you all. the purposes but there's a couple of. reasons why I am pretty wacky I'm just. asking a lot of questions you know I'm. trying to figure stuff out I don't know. I don't have all the answers and I. probably never will but I want to know.

some of those answers yeah and that's. all and I wanted to know all the answers. about being transgender I want to know. all the answers about about what. happened to me you know and what. happened to me. isn't something that every anybody. should go through you know are you still. on. celing No I gave up on those people you. did yeah I can do it myself better it's. all internal yeah yeah well I just read. if I I can to read I mean not always a. good book but like I said we have a. library full of books from the 1800s you.

know because I don't believe anything. written 1900 and past yeah you know. after Rockefeller you know and all that. I don't believe any of it you know. medical or anything so if I do anything. medical it's going to have to be 1800. you know right at 1899 and pre be 1850 I. like better in previous but it can't be. a 1900's uh data so well let's um let's. take a quick break and if Courtney wants. to come on then she's more than welcome. too.

[Music]. I remember going back behind the window. I reload another magazine and as soon as. I pop out to. shoot it all goes. black the brutality of it all and really. what we were up against I had no left or. right lateral limit to even comprehend. that the body mutilations the beheadings.

the dismemberment the the human Shields. all that but the night prior my platoon. Commander comes in and he's like. everyone's going to write a their Death. Letter Jesus. Christ and then you hear stories of your. friends that you went to boot camp with. the school of infantry with that are in. ratti that are fighting for their life. at the same time that you're fighting. for your life in fuia just to find out. how those D are.

dead I don't remember the exact numbers. but I remember the. feeling and I have never been able to. shake ever. since that's when I had this out of-. body. experience at the time I had no idea. what happened I thought I was dead I saw. this top down view what was going on I. could see my body I could see my. pointman still shooting I could see my. other teammates on the.

ground we were stacking so many bodies. that we had to send patrols out to move. the bodies because it was interrupting. our fields of fire holy [ __ ] there were. so many bodies being stacked that the. locals were driving up their ambulances. and picking up bodies. also cordney welcome to the show thanks. totally unexpected huh yeah a little bit. well I I really appreciate you coming on.

but um so me and Chris have had a I. think close to a 4-Hour conversation now. and. um how did you guys meet we met um well. I I had a class um before we actually. started talking where I did a project on. um a presentation on masculinity and. femininity.

using the backdrop of Judith Butler's. idea of genderism that it's performative. and so that was the topic of the. presentation and to start it I played um. Kristen's video for the for the class. and then I just went into just different. forms of you know masculine expression. and feminine expression and wrote a. paper and then I emailed Kristen and. said hey I just did this project for my. class um I don't know what I said like. you're cool like I you know I just felt.

it was respectful if I'm talking about. someone and using their material to at. least let them know like I just used you. for a project um and then I got an email. back that was you spelled my name wrong. which was so embarrassing but uh I. spelled it Ian instead of I in and I. never did it again after that but um. yeah we just kind of it was like kind of. a joke and then um there wasn't really. much communication after that and then. there was a post on Facebook that. Kristen made about being in a hole and.

maybe like a week or so not not long. before that I had made a similar post. about being down and you know and just. climbing out of it and this is a veteran. post and and so I said oh hey I just. made a post like this just recently and. then um so you're a veteran too yeah I. did 12 Years in Air Force Air Traffic. Control okay yeah um and so we kind of. had that and then we just started. talking and like the DMS and then. Kristen said call me so I called and. then it just went from there and I you.

know I have a background in women and. gender studies and so there was interest. you know in in kind of what that was all. about um I didn't I didn't have any. preconceived notions about anything it. was more of just you know what is what. does this look like you know I've. learned academically what it what it is. but I didn't have that personal. connection with anybody so there was a. lot to talk about just you know we had. military connection and then my. academics um so there was just a lot in. common and we just started talking and. hit it off I mean we were friends at.

first and I think that's probably why. we're so successful now is just we just. didn't go into it thinking anything just. getting to know each other and hearing. about each other's lives and then it. just so this didn't start out as a. romantic relationship no not at allting. and it developed into one yeah it did. yeah how. quickly um I. think I think probably after my first. visit like the first time we met face to.

face there was a lot of probably other. interest there but not real prominent it. was more of. like I don't know. I would say it was two people who had a. lot in common and were both missing love. and when you bring two people together. like that and they're both giving and. compassion and caring I me that's just. what's going to happen you know so that. that's really what just happened we just. hung out and we're friends and talked. about a lot of stuff and and you know. talking really is what spawns a.

relationship I'll just say this as a. little tidbit because we were talking. about Instagram but when you start. communicating with someone whether. you're just like chitchatting or. whatever you're you you start forming a. bond and so I I guess that's what. happened and so we just I don't know we. bonded in that way I guess just with our. life stories and all. that did you come from a traumatic. childhood as well no but.

well I trauma is. a difficult word um I I don't know I I. guess my childhood was not as favorable. as people but it wasn't as bad as others. where I guess what I'm kind of getting. at is where was The Common. Ground oh we had a lot of common ground. um the military is a huge common ground. and then and then I think um with the. gender dysphoria was a huge Common. Ground you've dealt with that as well I.

have yeah um when I was 15 um I lost all. of my hair to a medical condition from. stress called alipa Unity Solace um it. started off as alipa Arata which is like. a spot of baldness like on your head and. then just it progresses and I eventually. lost I eventually went into toe Talis. which is like all of the hair on my head. for like from my neck up and then as it. progressed I went into universalis which. is hair on my whole body so I'm 15 in a.

new school and lost all of my hair and. so that was like a you know a time in. puberty when I was coming into my. Womanhood and I'm like oh my gosh the in. my mind the one thing that makes me a. woman my hair and my eyelashes are gone. what do I do who is going to ever love. me who's going to like me like this. who's going to think I'm pretty and and. just like Kristen was saying like. there's this horrendous expectation for. women to look a certain way to find a.

mate I mean our our you know part of our. whole goal in life is to to procreate. and to and to reproduce and you know. keep the earth going and so if you. feel whether you. are a man who is a transexual and. crosses and you feel like you have to. hide that or you're a woman who is. hiding alipa under a wig it's still. hiding a part of yourself that you don't. feel anyone's going to love and. so um I think there was a lot.

of common ground there and and a lot to. learn from each other about Womanhood I. mean here I'm seeing someone do hair and. makeup and all these things and you know. I lost my hair at 15 started wearing. like crap wigs joined the military when. I was 20 in a predominantly male career. field you I couldn't wear nail polish. all this other stuff so until I got out. of the Air Force I really didn't you. know I'm not really that good at doing. those kinds of things because it just. wasn't a part of my life and so now I'm.

seeing someone doing those kinds of. things I'm also fascinated by like the I. would say like the the hyper feminine. aspect because I didn't have that either. so there was Mutual understanding and. mutual learning in some ways too and. know I hate to say that because it's. like I'm going to use biological here. just for ease of conversation but I find. it repulsive to have to like identify. myself as something else but it's better. than the word CIS so I'll just use.

biological right now but there are. there's this kind of weird space where. trans women do things in such a Hy. state that sometimes women can look at. that and and in times learn right. because it's a. male basically showing what they want. women to look like and so in some ways. I'm I was kind of like okay well maybe. is that what's like super attractive or.

maybe that's how I should look or that's. how women should there's like a lot of. complication it's like a lot to unpack. but we had so much in common and and I. think just mutual respect just like. you've been through a lot I've been. through a. lot what can we learn from each other. you know we we might not agree on. everything and and all this but if you. can communicate that just like you know. just in this conversation you had with. Kristen like you now have a different. opinion on trans people or maybe not.

opinion but different perspective you. might you might look a little bit. differently instead of like oh why are. they wearing that you might think oh. that's that's a bummer I wonder if. they're going through something really. sad I have a completely different. perspective yeah at this point and that. doesn't happen unless you have. conversations and it's not going to. happen unless you have really really. difficult. conversations otherwise you're just. you're just riding the surface in life. yeah so we had really deep conversations. like a lot a lot that helped me.

therapeutically and and I think helped. Kristen therapeutically as well Mutual. yeah so we both like lifted each other. up I can see that yeah. yeah so you how long have you guys been. together couple years now couple years. years. mhm so you. met Kristen or Chris I say and I still. use she pronouns just cuz I it was just. a habit at this point and if I'm honest. you know even though there's the.

detransitioning so. uh Society has in just pounded into our. heads like if you don't use the right. pronoun someone's going to go kill. themselves right and if you've ever felt. suicidal if you've ever felt sad or. depressed or anxious the last thing you. want to do ever is make someone feel. that way and so when we first met like I. think there was maybe like once I. slipped up and said he or him and I just. was like I'm never going to be able to. face her again like I can't even livep.

with myself and no one should feel that. way either you know what I mean yeah. like it women should not be in a. position to be forced to call someone. else a woman that's not but then also. not want to hurt someone you know so. it's just like walking on. eggshell um and so when we first met. yeah I I would say Kristen was Kristen. and I really didn't care and used. whatever pronouns and and all that um. and I think I was a little bit.

more naive at the time to like the whole. big push of all this to whereas now I'm. a little bit more reluctant. not because I don't care about how. someone feels definitely not that just. because by using those pronouns I'm also. then. hurting biological women who are being. what I feel like being erased yeah and. so it's like how do you love someone and. want to support them through this and.

not hurt them but also like not want to. hurt society and see how this is going. in the same direction so I mean we. we navigated through it yeah you. know can I ask if you're attracted to. women I'm not you're not no and you fell. in love with with Kristen mhm so what. was the conversation like. when but that answer to that is.

I uh I don't want to hurt anybody's. feelings by saying this I don't see. trans women as women. okay you might put on like if you right. now put on a dress I'm not going to. think you're a girl no matter what you. tell me no matter what you do yeah your. mannerisms your hobbies your habits the. way you talk to me the way you move the. way your hands are feet like everything. about you is a dude is a man so no.

matter what you. do I'm a biological straight woman is. still going to feel that it's still. going to sense that it's. not yeah it's not it's not I don't I. don't know that there's a lot a man or a. woman could do either to change that's. really going to be like a th% convincing. I just don't you know it's more I think. Society is more just catering to like. let me just be kind and happy and and.

and treat you well and cater to your. dysphoria yeah there's no one really. that's like I 100% believe you you are. this it's more of like I'm going to say. that to make you feel really good cuz I. don't want to hurt you and I think. that's where most people in society are. at but it's starting to turn I think cuz. just has gone too far yeah what what did. the initial. conversation go like when when when. Kristen. decided to become Chris.

again I don't think it was like I I. don't remember us having like a well. today we're going to talk about D. transitioning it just was like you. know you know like Kristen said there. was when we met it. was I don't I don't know that it was. 50/50 I'd say in my. mind it was probably more 7030 like. Kristen Chris 70% Kristen 30% Chris but.

on some days it would. be 100% Chris less Christen you know. what I mean but I think overall Maybe. more 70 30 50 I don't know I don't know. but maybe in my mind I was just seeing. Kristen you know. yeah but. yeah how has it affected your. relationship at all no is it honest like. people could not understand US unless. you recorded we are like best friends we.

talk about everything nothing is off the. table I mean when you when. you you can love someone right you know. I I've said I love you to people before. in my past relationships. but it's different and I don't know that. a lot of people will ever really ever. reach that or feel that when. you you know Kristen could could could. cut her arm off his arm off whatever and.

I wouldn't. care shave your head I don't care I I. don't you know the problem with society. and what this trans stuff is is. highlighting is how so disgustingly. superficial we are mhm that's why this. is damaging women because you don't see. trans women a lot of the time in the. news or whatever just wearing sweats. and you know why did you have to get. boobs you know what I mean yeah some. women have a flat chest but it's the.

trans women are only wanting to be a. certain type of. woman you know what I mean yeah because. you know very you don't you don't see it. you don't really see that a trans woman. with flat chest so I'm a woman with a. cut boobs so is that one so is that one. or I don't have boobs because women some. women don't they have a mastectomy you. know but it's the the trans women push. into the. stereotypes which really starts to.

negate the validity of the dysphoria or. or the trans issue it's like are you. really trans or are you a man playing. hyper stereotypes. you know. that's kind of what it starts to look. like a little bit wow that's an. interesting conversation yeah. very and people will hear this and I. don't know they form opinions but. there's just so much like I challenge. anyone who ever wants to have a conver. call me have a conversation with me you. know don't just hear 5 Seconds of this.

and make some you know opinion about me. like talk to me because you're you'll. find that you like me more than you. dislike and I like you more than I. dislike you know. did you. find Kristen attractive or did you only. fall in love with the oh no wildly. attractive really well how do you feel. now. then same if not more I mean you're. married right mhm I don't know how long. you've been married but when you when. you met your wife did you find her. attractive absolutely you find her more. attractive now yes there's no difference.

than this than this relationship it's. exactly the same as any other normal. relationship it's just one it would be. like. it would be like me asking you or like. me saying like you. know or it would be like uh maybe you. asking Kristen did you love Courtney. when she was bald yes do you love her. now that her hair grew back yes did. anything change no well I think I think. what I'm I think what I'm kind of poking. at is did roles change at all I mean who.

no with the masculinity you know being. more prominent now than than it was it. two years ago it wasn't it wasn't no. it's the exact same. like what I observed in my studies and. in my personal life.

is you can't make a dude a woman and you. can't make a woman a dude okay no matter. what you put on there's going to be. things things that these people do and. say and like and hobbies and all this. stuff that that that go in One Direction. so no matter what Kristen did or how. however she presented at the time the. the the. underlying Persona Vibe energy whatever. you want to call it was masculine there. was no like you.

know it's I see it's I can see it seen. I've seen the photos I've seen the. motorcycle photos I've I've seen it's. all the same person just with a. different. exterior what was it like to deal with. the hormone the hormonal changes when he. decided to come back I mean I didn't. notice any you didn't know there was no. hormonal changes in mood or anything mm. really no interesting if you're.

constantly loving on someone and being. loved on are you really going to have. mood swings bad moods bad days anger fr. FR ation depression anxiety are you. going to have any of those things I. think so I mean but very minor are they. going to be super Give an example my. wife you know when we just had a son you. know and there was some postpartum. depression afterwards and that was tough. for us to to get through and that was. that's hormonal changes for sure and so.

you know I'm I'm unfamiliar and I'm just. asking you know did you see a lot of was. there a lot of no nothing mood swings or. nothing really s nothing but then again. like I don't I don't know when like the. hormones and stuff I never saw Kristen. give hormones or take hormones or. anything like that okay I would. say you know what I've knowned as far as. like mood and and things like that is.

just balancing all of this you know how. how do you how do you talk about the. trans. topic and not hurt people when you don't. want to and so that is what I've seen. with the mood and like is just the. problem of like how to talk about this. without hurting people and taking your. words the wrong way so like there's been. a lot of. like you know emotions with that but not. anything like.

medical or biological like as far as. like taking something or having any. adverse reactions or coming off of. hormes nothing I've not seen anything. like that more so just brought on by. these conversations not wanting to you. know say the wrong thing but then also. tell your truth regardless of if that. truth might hurt somebody else like it's. your story so there's been a lot of that. with that but well I mean you know there. is a saying that relationships are a lot. of work what what has been your guys's. biggest.

challenge I would say um. um getting Kristen comfortable enough. and secure enough to talk about a lot of. this because I would say a lot of my. confusion in the beginning was just it's. hard to ask someone and then like. obviously there's a. mutual likeness that's beyond just. friends and I can imagine like I can. only imagine asking someone something so.

personal like why do you. crossdress like is are they really going. to want to talk about that in like a. year or 6 months if they really like you. and are afraid that talking about this. is going to make you leave or they're. embarrassed so a lot of the struggle in. the beginning was just communication. like really trying to gently get to the. bottom of this because I. can't help or I can't understand if if I. don't know the information so getting a. lot of that out was difficult at first. really difficult do you find it easier.

to be more direct you know as time went. on yeah yeah yeah but I still tread. lightly you know I still like I push. until I know I've probably pushed like. I'm getting to the edge and then I just. back off and I'm think okay well at. least the questions at least I I. vocalized it and the question's there so. whenever you feel comfortable answering. it or if the topic comes up again we'll. talk about it but yeah the communication. part was hard at first do you do you.

guys know of any other do you have any. other friends that are in a similar. relationship no. have you have you ever thought about. seeking that out no to find Common. Ground no no no. because you. know I mean everybody's experiences are. different and I think sometimes in. relationships if if you have a problem. in your personal relationship and you. seek advice out Elsewhere for somebody. else in a relationship I just think it's.

really easy for stuff to get convoluted. and you get bad advice. or I don't know I'm kind of an in-house. person if there's like a problem I'd. like to deal with it in-house instead of. airing dirty laundry I mean I could go. to a friend and say oh we're having this. problem with this this this and then the. next day Kristen and I are like 100% on. Cloud9 but now my friend knows that. there's a problem that we had and I. don't want my friend to think anything. bad so I just like to keep you know that. kind of stuff personal okay yeah that.

makes sense yeah you know I mean it. would be with any relationship you don't. want to go and you as soon as you start. talking about your problems in your. relationship now it's like someone's got. ammunition on you I just don't it's not. my thing well I didn't mean I didn't. mean just that I meant being able to. relate relate yeah but I mean I think a. lot of those questions would be so. personal you know so like. intimate you. know and I don't know that there's. anyone I mean does anyone else have a. transgender.

seal partner that I can talk to not that. I know I mean you know what I mean where. am I going to get advice from yeah so. this is so interesting to me but. um I I think it's interesting to a lot. of people it's very fascinating I mean. it it is it is for me still you know. still trying to figure out H how do you. know how. does how does it get this far I mean. there's some questions I think I I won't.

ever know because I don't have gender. dysphoria on that level M you know so I. can empathize and I can try to. understand are we all ever going to get. the answers to this probably not unless. we had like years of intimate. conversations with each individual. person to know their you know trajectory. but it's impossible to kind of lump. everyone in and that's that's the. problem that's that's that's what's. demolishing the United States is that. the trans umbrella has taken in. everyone everyone yeah I mean I could.

right now be like I'm going to be trans. tomorrow because I. feel this way and I felt this way and. you know there's. no there's no uh checks and balances for. it it's just a. free-for-all and so it's. just to understand each person it would. be so time consuming you have a. 13-year-old son. mhm how was how was that that's a really. good you know that's really good to talk. about like how did my son so let me talk.

about this a little bit my son was in. Middle School and in the public school. system right now this trans thing is hot. being gay is hot in school right now if. your Rainbow Flags everywhere if you're. you're kind of like you know and I saw a. post about grooming and about how if. your teacher has rainbow Flags in your. room and you're not gay or or trans or. any of this but you see that your. teacher is favoring those who are you. might become that and in that sense that. teacher is in a sense grooming because. it's it's favor it's placing favoritism.

or you know whatever that favoritism. look looks like to the child that's. trans or gay or whatever um so my son. you. know I don't be careful because my son. is 13 I don't want to but he was getting. kind of lump drawn into a a rough crowd. a a crowd that was like depressed and. kids that were anxious and and not doing. so well and my son is a bit different.

you know he he's not had a masculine. figure in his life for a while a. positive one and so. because of that he you know wasn't. really athletic in sports and all this. kind of stuff and so he's more games and. theater and and those kinds of things. and so he kind of found a friend group. of other kids that didn't fit in to the. popular group and in that group the. trans thing started to become really. popular like two of his friends changed.

their names and now I think this year. they're not but I was starting to worry. like really worry and so. academically I started really focusing. more on that because like what if you. know what if my son's gay can I do I. know enough about this to be able to. help him and understand this history so. I took queer theories so I know all. about that so I started kind of like. making sure I was prepared to handle. that and what what it you know what I.

come to understand was it was. circumstantial for him you know it and. you hear him now. and I can say this cuz he's a kid but. you know I hope nobody takes offense but. but we were in the kitchen the other day. and he was like Wow remember that time. when I was almost. gay like think about. that. man that's not something he was born. with that's not a person who's a. homosexual and never born that way no.

that's oh remember that time when that's. a pressure that was a pressure and now. he looks back and he was you know doing. things he definitely would not do now. not do but more so where you know like. he had a a pink hoodie that had. strawberry milk on it and he's like no I. would never do that but that's the kind. of crowd you know and those two of his. kids were two of his friends were. changing their names and like Alex or. something you know nonbinary and all. this stuff and.

so again when you're lonely and you meet. other lonely people and those people. start loving on you because you wear a. pink hoodie and you might be them and of. course he's going to want to wear pink. hoodies every day you know I mean he's. he's he's his own other topic like. children have who have experienced this. it's like a whole other issue and I. think that's why people now are starting. to talk about this trans thing in a. negative way I feel like if the trans.

Community just would have been trans and. Liv their lives. and you know whatever as adults no one. would have batted an eye I mean the. whole United States loves queer people. every company is obsessed with rainbow. Flags every you know it's like it's a. big deal now it's called pink washing. actually but um you know it's a. big you don't see this happening for any. other group of. people and it's it's now it's it's it's.

coming on to kids in a really unhealthy. way and so now I I feel like or even. myself included where I could care less. if someone called themselves a trans. woman and did all these things I could. really care now I'm seeing as whoo this. was re this is really bad this is going. in a really bad direction there's women. getting raped in prisons there's public. spaces now you know and it's like what's. the big deal with a trans person going. into a woman's restroom well here's the.

deal that trans umbrella can include. anyone who says they're trans that. includes a pedoph. where do children go to the restroom who. do they go with their their mom up to a. pretty you know sizable age I mean I was. taking my son into the bathroom with me. into the women's room because I didn't. want him to go in the men's room for God. knows what he could be exposed to in. there so he comes with me but now that. space now if he goes into a different.

stall I'm like well who else is in here. you know what I mean yeah and it's I'm. not saying that men are rapists or. pedophiles or this I'm just saying that. is open that that umbrella has opened to. now they can identify as a female and go. into those spaces and have easier access. easier predatory access at the expense. of someone else and that's where it's. gotten really ugly and that's where I. started to really be nervous kind of I.

and I think there was we I think Kristen. and I did have kind of a a tenuous point. where I started seeing like all this. really negative stuff happen even to the. point where we can't even Define what a. woman is and I am. one and so then I'm like you know jeez. as if I don't have enough as it is the. very Foundation of my being you're now. taken. away and so then I never saw Kristen in.

a negative light but I did start to see. the negative aspects of of. transgenderism and whatever that means. you. know most people don't even know what. that means because the word didn't even. it's just kind of new it just has taken. on every single ailment that a person. could have and they're like oh you're. trans you don't have anything else. you're just trans you don't have anxiety. or depression you don't hate yourself. you're just trans and that can be.

anybody yeah I'm I'm beginning to. realize that is what's happening with. with well that's at least what happened. with with Chris yeah seem like yeah and. the and the love bombing part is is like. the biggest part of it because you know. like Kristen said that was established. by the Mooney cult like that's an actual. recruitment um technique that this cult. would do like that's where it came from. to get people to recruit people and so. how many people right now in the world.

can say that their their love meter is. at. 100% I would love to meet those people. that are 100% I mean I feel like I'm. pretty high right now I just love my. life and I'm in love with Kristen and I. feel like mine finally is getting high. but a lot of people are are their love. meter low everyone is Su. susceptible everyone it doesn't matter. if you're a a steel team six or you're. the president or whatever like if you do. not feel loved in this world you are.

going to do whatever it takes to find it. end of story like it doesn't matter what. you have like everyone deserves and. needs to feel loved and most of. these people who TR who transition just. from my observance that's was their love. meter was like Rock Bottom you know in. my in my uh is anybody arguing. that your point.

that I don't know what people are. arguing about this really I don't know I. think the main. I. mean I don't know I don't know what the. main argument is or what the main you. know I think it's I think maybe perhaps. it's no I'm just trans I was born this. way it's not because of any other thing. I have loving parents I have this you. know and maybe that's like a rare case. but in just what I've seen it's not the. case yeah you know I took I took a class.

it was called the queer art of drag um. and it's just learning about drag. culture where how it St what it means. artfully all all just is as deep into it. as you can get and in that class we had. a few um drag performers just talk in. the class two of them were were male. trans. women both of them in that class said. the first one I remember he said that he.

didn't he was in a bad relationship with. someone um it was it was just not good. he didn't feel happy all the this stuff. he was really depressed went to his. friend's house who was a drag queen and. the friend said hey let me just let me. just put you in drag for fun like let's. just change your mood let's just have a. good time and so he said okay and his. friend put drag on him makeup and all. that got him dressed up in Drag and they. went out and he was love bombed girl you. look so good oh my gosh how how is that. going to make him feel amazing mhm.

that's when he started to trans that's. when he thought maybe I should. transition he had never thought of it. until up until that point and this was I. don't remember what his age was he like. 20s or. 30s another guy drag drag guy teaches at. a well-known. University he um said ah I I don't I. don't really know if I'm trans yet or. not so in University where this. transgenderism is being pushed you're in.

like the most hypocritical space ever. because. you can't say well he just said he. wasn't sure no it's he trans it's just. he's trans or well will this person just. said that they really weren't until this. happened nope they're trans like there's. no real dissection of like what is. causing this or why people are doing. this it's just it is just you just. accept them and if you don't you're. transphobic or you're homophobic or. you're racist or you're a bigot or any.

of these other things but there two. clear examples of two men over the age. of 20. who one is you. know maybe transitioning and the other. one transitioned because they were. extremely unhappy and put on drag and. got love. bombed so you. know how in the world the medical. community could think to do this to kids. is so disgusting they don't they did any.

of them go and take these. classes and un hear these people talk. where's the line for you as far as. transitioning. yeah. [Music]. um I mean I mean no professional I'm not. a doctor but you know there are studies. that say the brain develop is not into. your. 20s um I would say just don't do this to. kids I don't I I I. personally um am on the opposite.

spectrum of thinking about age where I. feel like our age for everything is way. too low you know and and this is just a. weird experience I had I looked back at. a picture of my. mom um she was I don't know 20 maybe. three kids and I look at her face in the. photo and I was like this a little kid. she is so young to be out and having. children and like you know but it's like.

18 you're out the door but really I mean. is that just something that we've become. so normal in accustomed to that 18 is an. adult you know so you've got you've got. the you know part of the world that's. saying let's lower the age of consent. and I'm thinking maybe this is an issue. we're sending 18-year-olds out into the. world who are getting student loans. credit card debt car loan debt all this. other stuff because are they really. adults at this point if the brain is not. developed until you're 25 years old and.

where did 18 come from muh you know it's. it's more than just um. you know when thinking about children. transitioning I started thinking about a. lot of things that we. allow children or even 18y olds 20 year. olds to do that's really really young. without the proper brain development to. understand the full consequences of of. of what they're doing whether it be good. or bad you know what I mean and so I. think for. me if I were to just go along with.

Society I would say don't do this to. kids do what you want to do when you're. 18 if you feel like that going to change. your life and make you feel less stress. and less. unhappiness then then then that's for. you you know that would be like someone. don't wear a wig well I'm going to. because it makes me feel good you know. do what makes you feel your best self MH. but don't start pushing this on children. who who cannot make this decision for. themselves you know that's where I draw.

the line no puberty blockers I don't. agree with that at all I think you know. before I was a women in gender Studies. major I was a biology major that's my. actual passion is biology and. so as a society we are so um uneducated. about how our own body works you know we. don't know we don't we don't know every. single thing and it would take a lot of. study just like it took me a lot of. study learning about the human body and. every single function and every single. thing that it does and when you realize.

how specialized your system is and how. one little thing can set up off you know. a Cascade of events of of you know. atrocity to your body you would not you. would really think twice about doing. that but right now we're in a society. that's push push push look this way look. this way look this way you know I am. super scared of. like like I don't want to put anything. in my body that's bad know I'm cautious. however when it comes to my looks I'll.

get BOTOX in my face that's food. poisoning botulism toxin injected into. my face so I could look a certain way to. please people it's just. like we all have it as a society though. we have to start understanding we're. human beings we're all look a certain. way and love on each other for however. we look because it's affecting all of us. it's affecting everybody so I guess if I. draw the line I don't agree with puberty. lockers at all I don't think children.

should be medically transition surely. not removing body parts I mean I I heard. I heard a a thing with Chloe Cole and. she said I might I might I'm I realized. I'm not going to be able to breastfeed. my children and I felt sick like I felt. like I got punched in like the deepest. part of my Womanhood because I felt pain. for her that was just unimaginable. because she has to live with that now. you know she's going to have a baby. maybe and think what have I done that's.

a. lifelong you know thing for her that. somebody else did did and that person. that did that. is. MHM I mean it's it's it's. an Ian it's almost an irreversible. decision I mean I just sat there and I. listened to Chris say that yeah or maybe. it was you I can't remember but him. looking at himself in the mirror saying. I've destroyed myself and he can't go.

back to exactly the way that he looks. and that's a 56-year-old man you know I. think. it would be good to. see not just encouragement from the. mental health community and maybe let's. dig in and actually find out what's. really going on before we move forward. to this whether it's I mean definitely. it shouldn't be happening to kids but. you know as an adult I I. mean it was pushed on them should it be. happening as an adult like that's.

a that's that's that's what I'm getting. at is there was there was is I don't. know if discouragement is the correct. terminology or the correct word but you. know there should definitely be some. more looking into and not only. encouragement to do it especially when I. mean we just dug into Chris's childhood. and and everything that took place there. and that none of that went into. accountability of of or the PTSD or the.

traumatic brain injury when he got blown. up I mean they didn't look into any of. this to see if any of that you know play. Maybe might have played a role in this. and and it did mhm yeah huge role and a. lot of the times there's there's factors. in people's lives that are that are. greatly influencing this and if you if. you lessen those you know if you allow. the per if you give the person the tools. to cope with those things that might be. not be the res you know the Avenue that.

they take because now you know what ha. okay so there's this push right it's all. over the news it's Vanderbilt it's. everywhere just push push push to to to. allow kids to transition allow people to. transition well now we're starting to. see um accounts of D transitioners so. now Society is going to be left with. people who didn't feel didn't love. themselves so they. transitioned then they. detransitioned and they have scars or.

regret so then did they go back to not. loving themselves like was the problem. ever really fixed cuz now it's just. another you know added layer of of guilt. or regret that the person didn't have. you know the person wasn't managing well. before yeah then you add on guilt regret. fear all this other stuff because a lot. of people that. detransition which is another thing that. word is not mentioned in women and. gender studies D transitioners are. unheard of it's like they don't exist. they're like the fake like they never.

really really trans if they. detransitioned you know that's the. problem with trans if someone has gender. dysphoria. they can heal from that right you can go. and get help for gender dysphoria you. can get therapy for that if you're trans. you're trans if you're an alcoholic. you're an alcoholic for life it's like. the best example and I don't believe in. that either I feel like people aren't. alcoholics for life they can quit. drinking and if you quit you quit you're. not an alcoholic anymore you're not. doing it anymore but with that trans.

label by getting rid of those label. those terms you know in Psychology. you've put a permanent. label on someone and so now people who. are like well you know I fell in love. and got a new job and my life's great. and you know what I'm not really dealing. with all those issues I was anymore I. don't really feel the need to do this. anymore they're stuck and if they. detransition they are so shunned from. that Community like death threats you're. you're fake you were never real trans. you're not one of us and it's like are.

you. serious like you know like I see the. stuff that that people send Christ in. that Community the community of love and. welcome and peace and love is love and. all that oh no it's not it's only that. way if you go with that narrative if you. agree with everything they say if you're. a woman who loves yourself nah forget it. you're transphobic you know if you're a. d transitioner well you were never. really Trans in the first place you're. fake you know get out of here I mean.

just go look on the comments you'll be. blown. away wow by like. this so then you get people who are. healed but maybe all of their friends. because they were trans for 5 10 15. years all their friends are in that. Community now they feel like they can't. detransition or they can't heal why. because misery loves company and if. you're. happy and you're detransitioned or. you've healed yourself well you're not. one of us anymore yeah you're not. self-loathing and wishing you were.

something else and all this other stuff. you know you're you're just happy and. content with who you are yeah how long. has this how long has this been going on. with. children I think for a while but it just. how many years 5 years seems like for. like the past probably 10 years maybe. it's going to be real interesting to see. what happens in another 10 years oh when. these kids become adults how sad how sad. it's going to be interesting to watch. the relationship between their and and. their parents as well what about the.

parents what about a parent. who was told your kids going to kill. themselves if you don't allow them to. transition what parent is going to be. like just go kill yourself no they're. going to be like do whatever you need to. do just stay alive I'm going to keep you. alive MH you know and then the child's. out of school where they're not being. bullied and you know like all these. other things that happen in high school. they're out of it they're on their own. they maybe meet someone and they're like. o I don't what did I do I'm not this.

anymore then imagine the. parent when the kids's like Mom and Dad. I don't. you know I don't I'm not this anymore. I'm messed up and then parents like oh. my gosh oh my gosh like I I you know I. can't even imag I cannot imagine that I. cannot imagine Khloe Cole's parents like. how they must feel being told by a. doctor your your daughter's going to. kill herself if you don't cut her boobs. off and now the daughter's. like and then the parents are like so.

that's another thing you know people are. like how could a Navy SEAL get get. convinced to do this. How could a parent get convinced to let. their kid cut their boobs off it's all. the same pressure it's all it's all the. same fear it's all the same pressure. it's it's all it's it's all the same you. know and now we're going to have all of. those people so all the parents who. allowed this now needing mental help. because they they feel guilty and you. know because now their kid is you know.

mhm do you think a lot of parents are. pushing this on their kids for. attention they're doing it for uh. they're yeah they're social justice. Warriors it's just all. um it's fake yeah it's it's virtue. signaling it's because right now. like if. you I don't know how it is right now but. I've seen this in the news where people. are losing their jobs okay Jordan. Peterson prime example prime example if.

he's not using pronouns he's going to. lose his job right mhm so if you know. that and you love your job and you love. your paycheck you're going to use the. pronouns you're going to do whatever it. is that they're wanting you know it's. gotten tyrannical at this point because. now you don't even have the choice to. agree with it or not if you don't I'm. going to either I'm going to cancel. culture that's that's the that's the. weap that's the weapon of mass. destruction that the left has it's.

cancel culture yeah they'll ruin your. job ruin your account ruin your. everything because you don't agree with. whatever so so now you know you have. people. that that. can't that are so afraid of being. othered that they're going to go along. with it and want to be accepted by the. crowd that's doing the. damage right yeah if you've got someone. some big huge person standing next to. you and they're looking down at a crowd.

and they're just swinging an Axe and. just cutting whoever doesn't agree with. them where you going to stand out in the. crowd or you going to stand right next. to the person and you can't get hit with. the axee that's what Society is doing. yeah they are clinging to the person. with the axe and the ax that swinging is. transhumanism like I'm just going to go. along with it and be on the good side so. you know what my kids trans you know. you've seen there's videos out of you. know there's there's there's one out. where this little boy is Mom and a his.

brother are on camera and they're. talking about like Pride praise or Pride. or whatever and the little boy says Well. my mom doesn't care if I'm gay or. lesbian or whatever she just she just. cares that I'm a part of it and and they. like what do you mean and and then the. little boy and it's all like I don't. know how it got out like I don't know. why the mom released this but she he. goes well unless it was live and she. she's like well she's just you're just. going to make me do it if I'm not doing. it or something like that like the mom. was forcing the the kid to be a part of.

this even. though he wasn't you know gay or. anything. and so it was like it's more or less. you're it's not it's not I'm going to. make you gay or make you trans but I'm. going to make you support this because. if you don't you're not going to make it. in society because right now Society has. no tolerance for people who um have. opposing beliefs yeah so I'm going to. you know it it's. like it's like that in it's like that in. everything right now it's like that in.

the in the co Arena it's like that in. the trans Arena. it's like that in the Race Arena it's. it's it's running rampid yeah I mean. it's a line right a very clear line. you're either on one side or the other. and you want to make sure you and and if. you think I'm going to survive on the. side that's supporting. this then you're then people are going. to do it yeah and then there's going to. be people that's like I'm going to die.

on this hill I'm not going to support. this like this is not worth it. so having been through you know what. what you guys have been through as a as. a as a couple what advice do you have. for somebody who is thinking about whose. partner is thinking about transitioning. or. detransitioning I think with with. transitioning I would. really ask like what is it about you.

that feels you know this way what feels. like if I'm if I'm if I were you know. part of some of the things that I used. to ask Kristen are like what feels like. a woman to you like what do you do or. what do you think like what are you. aside from anything you could put on or. any kind of appearance what are you. doing in thinking that you think is more. woman like than than manlike and that is. where the trip up the hangup happens for. I think for a lot of people because you.

know like was mentioned it's more of. like an an observing mimicry then then. like I want to feel like that I want to. be that what do I need to do to present. like you know and so you look at like. Dylan mulany for example it's 1,000%. stereotyped you know like oh I I went to. the ladies room and like the girl next. to me asked me under the toilet for a. tampon like that didn't happen it's just. a. stereotypical thing that you that men.

think happens to women in restrooms and. yeah might or it has but to act it you. know it's just all it's it's all it's. pretend pretend it's all pretend it's. all pretend at what point do you think. you go into a supporting. role that's a different now see that's.

that I I I don't know that I can answer. cuz I've not you know when I met Kristen. and she was already Christan there was. no I didn't have to like go from like. man to support you into being a woman. you know I don't know how that would. look for me now 2 years ago when I. was. [Music]. um a little bit more under the influence.

of like leftist. ideology I might have answered that. totally different you know more of like. okay well just kind of BL Fair Blas blah. about it not really thinking just. writing the surface that's probably the. answer I would have given. now I think with with with Kristen it's. different.

because it's already been established. like the the the feminines already been. established but if it was just like if I. was just in a relationship with you know. a male for 10 years like a dud dude mail. and like no inclination no no anything. of this and then they're like I you know. I think that you know I would still. support them but not. maybe I don't know probably the intimacy. would lack the intimacy would go down so.

maybe it would go into more of like a. friendship supporting role you know. because probably that person would be. pursuing other things would want to. really change their life and pursue. things different things anyways mhm um. yeah that that's difficult it would be. problematic for me now for sure seeing. what's happening to women just in. general that would be really problematic. for me to be in a relationship with a. man now who transitioned into a woman. with Kristen I already I don't know I. don't I. don't I don't see her as a woman but I.

don't. NE I I don't know it's almost like. you never saw her as a woman so you were. you were. already somewhat in a supporting role. for the D. transition I was in a supporting role. for both like when we met I was buying. women's clothes I. was doing whatever because like I said. like when we met it was two people who. had a lot a lot to share with each other. who just shared it and so that wasn't I.

wasn't looking to like get and anything. out of it more than just like hey you're. cool you've been through a lot hey like. maybe we can talk and like help each. other out like it wasn't ever I had no. like ulterior motives or any kind of. intention. so um I immediately was in a supporting. role you know and so that role is you. know it would be much harder to be in a. supporting role from one person going.

into a new gender than just going to the. one they already were you know what I. mean yeah I I can understand that of and. because and because like I think some of. the transitioning has had already. happened like in everyday life you would. not know. probably you know other than like boobs. or something but like just. general like mannerisms or you know it's. not like it wasn't. like I don't know I wouldn't say it was. hanging out it was like hanging out with.

a girl or a guy but there were some. really cool aspects of it for sure like. fun aspect ects like you know how many. women get to be. like can. I okay this is this is really actually. funny like I I I didn't wear a lot of. makeup I still don't I didn't have a lot. of like feminine like real like wild. feminine like I've just recently also. come into a lot of my femininity I got. out of an abusive marriage that was. really horrible and now I'm just kind of. like exploring so like with Chris I was.

like Hey like you got really good makeup. like way better stuff than I have and so. like how many people get to have that. relationship where I'm like hey can I. get that lip liner can I try that like I. I never even wore lip liner before you. know so there are some like really. fun there is a fun like happy side too. that's not like weird you know like how. many people get to say that or you know. like whatever like little tips or. something that I I didn't know you know. that's just because someone wanting to.

be a girl and examining a girl so much. might pick up on stuff that me just. being a didn't even notice because I. just am it you know so I was there was a. lot of like you know fun kind of things. like that um there was a lot less. pressure about my hair like for sure. like wearing wigs because trans people. wear wigs drag queens wear wigs so there. was a lot less of like you're going to. judge me for how I look which was cool. that was like a big part of it lot lot.

going into a relationship with no. judgment like how can you judge me we. both. have something that we we have. insecurities about you know so that was. good yeah interesting I never would have. thought of that yeah well Corney I. really appreciate you coming on and. um good luck with the wedding and and. with everything so I appreciate it thank. you. thanks hey guys let me tell you about.

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patreon all right Chris we just had your. fiance Courtney on to get her. perspective on everything M and I want. to kind of wrap this up. so I think one of the most important. questions I'm going to ask you is for. anybody that's thinking about. transitioning genders do you have any. advice for them before they go through. with it wow yeah tough I would say um.

there used to be these protocols and. it's a Harry Benjamin protocols and and. now they do this W path and some other. stuff but that's all been changed to. meet the current um narrative or. ideology whatever they want so they're. pushing people through really fast and. so they took the protocols have all. changed and the protocols I'm talking. about are the amount of counseling. sessions you have to do before you can. start any hormones or anything else it's. the amount of um time you spend living. as the uh it's like a real life.

experience is what they call it and so. if I was going to transition from male. to female I would have to do 30 mental. health counseling sessions and have that. signed off that I did 30 sessions. talking about all this stuff and really. digging in deep and I would also have to. um live the real life experience as a as. the agenda you're going into male or. female so I would have had to live as. the female gender as a woman transwoman. for a year and then at that time then.

you would get the paperwork and all the. stuff then you could start doing. hormones and all the other stuff now all. of that has changed and they basically. can do no sessions you can walk in there. and just say I'm transgender and then. you start getting hormones and. everything else pretty much or it's one. session or something it's say signature. but the problem with that also is that. they're scamming the whole system is. that you can get whatever paperwork you. want for money so you go into those um. crooked psychiatrists or whatever or. whoever would give you the paper and you. pay them enough money and they're going.

to say 30 sessions or whatever so. there's a lot of gaming going on but. they don't even require 30 sessions they. don't require any sessions you can walk. in on session one you'll be on hormones. and then a week later you might be. getting surgery so it's just so. incredibly fast and you're not really. investigating with a professional and. that's why I mean I I kind of bash the. psychology um the whole you know group. pretty badly because of what they're. allowing to happen now just like I said. the doctors are kind of stuck in the. middle between insurance and money and.

and the administration it's going to be. the same thing with a psychologist so. there's something going on that they. will not admit to the doctors won't. admit it the psychologists want admit it. and if those folks start standing up. then this will change if the doctor. start standing up and telling the truth. this will change psychologist will start. standing up telling the truth this will. change but just like everybody else. we're all afraid they cancel culture and. losing your job and everything else and. fines you'll be imprisoned you know it's.

just ridiculous so one of these days if. somebody starts standing up and they. start doing it and and I feel like I'm. almost the first one like really talking. about some of the deep stuff and. Courtney the same thing like we've both. said a lot of stuff today that's not. really out there I don't think you know. and if it is out there it's kind of. hidden or they just kind of they mark it. with those stupid little labels talking. about how bad this person is because. there and it might happen this one too. that we're going to be um marked as. haters and his phobias and all the other.

stuff which is totally opposite of who. we are as people and and the fact is is. you're transgender and you're a good. person you did it all as an adult and. whatever and you're not doing all these. rainbow flags and love bombing and doing. all that stuff then I I would never have. a problem ever and you would probably be. a friend of mine you know what I mean. it's like I don't have any problem with. that but when he start doing all the. things with all his love bomb and all. these rainbow flags and all this push. towards it and the push like I said is. not the people and it's not the doctors.

it's money you know like I said these. doctors have these gender clinics and. I'm making. $450,000 per surgery which is just. ridiculous so in every year you have. these gender claims with one doctor. making millions for the for the school. for their Hospital they're pulling in. huge money and the really big hospitals. the university connected hospitals the. ones that are really big like John's. Hopkins and all the rest of them they're. pulling in you know hundreds of millions. of dollars for gender stuff now are they.

going to give that up very easily no. they're not and they're going to push. these doctors and these doctors are. caught and if they don't do the job. they're fired and another doctor will. take their place and that's the problem. if these doctors start speaking up and I. have a lot of connections with doctors. because they have heard me speak up and. speak just like I'm speaking right now. that they call me and talk to me and. they're giving me some of the inside. info about the cost and about this and.

about how the shortcuts are being taken. these doctors need to start standing up. you took a hypocritic oath you know and. you should be healing people not. damaging them you know and just like I. said out of those hundred transgender. people with all these surgeries and all. that other stuff just like Chloe and we. keep hearing Chloe call up because she's. one of the first adults that are coming. out really hardcore is detransitioning. and all that and I can't stand that word. because there's no such thing never. happened in the first place and it's not. a d you know it's not a d transition.

because it didn't. happen the um the thing with Chloe. though she's one of the first adults. that had at 15 years old at Double mess. actom me there going to be a lot more of. these kids that had it happen when their. kids and as they grow up they're. starting to learn this stuff now in. Sweden you can see it you can look this. data up if you want to there's this. Swedish J curve with all this gender. ideology all this gender stuff the swets. saw it going like normal for decades. just like this because the swedes are. about 20 years ahead of us they've been. doing this for a long time it is sweet.

and yeah it is so it goes like this and. then sudden it goes it shoots way up and. it it was like 1,500% increase or no. that was might have been non-binary but. there's these huge increases like. ridiculous and then the Swedish. government were going what is going on. here and they put it breaks on and they. started doing relooking at it and really. studying and finding out because this. isn't normal for them to go from a line. like this for decades and then something.

happened and that's what's happening in. America right now and so why can't the. American government look at this and. take a look at all this other data and. know that this is happening right now in. America and if we don't put the brakes. on it it's going to get worse and you're. going to have all these kids going to be. damaged and really hurt all these. parents you think we have some problems. right now 10 years from right now five. years from right now you're going to. start seeing what I'm talking about yeah. and that's the problem so in the rap of. is that I don't have I don't have fear.

of trans I don't have homophobia. transphobia or any of those IAS that is. a tactic being used it's a ridicule. tactic to make us stop and make us shut. up I'm not going to shut up and the more. they push me and try to make me shut up. I'm G talk louder you know I'm GNA talk. more and like I said I don't want to do. these podcasts I don't want to go on a. news I did that thing with tuer Carlson. one time and it was pretty quick it was. like four minutes or it was quick and. basically what I said there I'm still. standing by said I love people and I.

love Humanity I love people and I love. our world and and and I respect our. world and I respect us as human beings. and this body that I have that was given. by the grace of God and I think that we. need to stop all this damage you know. there there has to be something and like. I said earlier it's like yeah I'm a. Christian but it has nothing to do what. I'm talking about right now I me human V. went through something I went through. something that damaged me and I did it. all as an adult and now I'm looking at. what they're doing now to the kids so it.

has nothing to do with religion or. anything else take that off the table if. you're a human being and you had. something happen to you as an adult and. now you start looking down there and you. start seeing kids the same thing is. happening to them wouldn't you want to. speak up you know it's just it's just. it's it's it's a right thing to do you. know and so what I'm doing right now is. I'm trying to save all those kids that. are pulling into this that are not they. have gender Foria they have all kinds of. other things they have depression. anxiety they're just teenagers with. hormones and they're just not liked or.

they hate their bodies or they're just. growing up you you know they don't have. a chance and so this reminds me of a. story that will give you a little more. um View and who I am and and how far I. will push stuff and how far I stand by. my word and what it really means so I. was at um the team and we were doing. missions and we were going after some. real big bad dudes and I have a ton of. those stories but I only tell like two.

of them but uh this one story is is is. important because. it's who I am so we're going to this. house we're doing the clearing we're. walking through and we're doing all the. stuff but we're doing it real quiet. because we haven't got hot yet so it's. all like the cover you. know we're just going through it super. quiet and I get up through this room and. I get up these stairs and I take it this. right and at the end of this hallway I. didn't know how fast I was going I was. going pretty quick but we usually were. pretty good about that and checking. stuff but for whatever reason I went.

through the door and it didn't have the. number two so I was going out there. alone and uh out on this rooftop so it's. a door that opened out on the rooftop. and you know in Afghanistan there they. sleep on the roofs all the time because. it's really hot in there and just want. to be out in the cool air and it's the. Stars it's beautiful to sleep out there. on these rooftops plus it's the security. points so this guy was up there on. security pulling security for his family. and for the compound and uh he had the. AK and he's sitting there and so. basically you see. me um have all the best equipment you.

know the lasers the nogs the night Vis. all the stuff and I'm using some. terminology that put night vision and. lasers and a gun and it's totally. prepped out my body armor and we have. our radios on the side with antennas and. all that stuff so if you look at me with. this green glow on there and there's all. this Tech and his lasers and all the. stuff I'm like an alien being you know. I'm looking very Hightech and very alien. looking and then I look at this guy and. you know in retrospect I look this guy. and he's down here with bare feet and. dirty and just raggy hair and his beard. and just he had is one you know that.

thing they wear I used to know all these. things I used to speak some of language. but he's kind of washed all that out but. I I see this guy up there and he's. laying there sleeping he's just starting. to wake up because there's some noise. and stuff is starting to happen cuz even. the animals start waking up in the. compound you know So eventually people. start waking and the guy's just getting. up and he sees it and he starts and he's. reaching up and he's got his AK starts. coming off me but I'm already off safe. and I'm figuring I'm going I it was a. split second I mean I set a record in at. Shaw shooting you know Camp you know the.

the plate shooting I'm on that top 10. because I'm fast shooter and so I'm. sitting there just waai I'm just there. and uh dude's getting up and he's. swinging up and I'm going don't don't. and I'm I'm just looking at I'm going. don't do it don't do it I'm in my head. and I'm just praying it's like all of. it's going all my energy is going to. that guy drop it drop it drop it drop it. and it's like such a close and if he was. just like this much further with that. barrel and I was just like watching all. of it why was I doing that the rules of. engagement I could have taken him right.

when I walked out on there because he. was up there in security and had a gun. next to him done but I didn't I was. going towards him I was still walking. towards him closing the distance and. then the guy just like right there goes. and he drops it and he because he saw it. so it's alien versus. caveman and I'm sitting there for about. whatever seconds it took me walking. towards this caveman as an alien. different language different Religion. different culture different everything. super Hightech and this guy with. dirt why why was I doing that for.

seconds I was walking towards this guy. didn't shoot I could have I was allowed. to should have I actually got in trouble. because there was guys on other rooftops. and there was other stuff going on in. the compound and one guy and I can't. remember um who it was I could if I. really thought about it but he saw what. was going on on my rooftop he saw AC. cross CU only maybe as wide as this room. it's not huge distances so we saw what. was going on over there he saw it and. when we got done with the whole thing. and the guy was cuffed cuz basically he. dropped the gun and I and I kicked it. away and I cuff them up against a law.

because I did all the bit I did all the. interrogations so because I was as type. guy and I did all that stuff so I was. also the interrogator so I'm talking to. this guy through my turp and because I. was like that agency asot guy I always. had a turp CU I was always doing this. stuff so he's my turp and uh so. interpreter so he was the guy that did. all the local postu and I foke some of. it but not all of it he. um I don't even speak very much at all. so Team guide you know know hands up and. where's the bomb and this stupid stuff.

but um I was talking to him he just. seemed like a pretty good dude this is. after all the action after everything. was done and everything so I'm just. talking to him and I'm getting Intel I'm. trying to work with him and uh he. doesn't know anything and the guy was. like he was not anybody we' ever want. and I was like just leave this guy and. then one of the other guys was like no. we should take him you know get one you. got a guy and he had a gun he security I. was like no man I was going to leave. this dude and so because I was had.

enough voice over it because I was the. interrogate I was guy doing all this. stuff but I was also the guy that ran. Source operations so I was the field. officer you know I was a recruiter you. know and so I told him we need to leave. this guy and they did and so we took off. and and I you know it was good done he. spared his life spared his life but it. was seconds of me walking up on him two. weeks later I'm walking through a bizaar. and if you've ever seen pictures of me. out of this big bright red beard if.

unless I dye it and over there I dyed it. a lot cuz I had to get it darker but if. you see me I had a really red beard and. he used call me Red Beard or caveman so. it was always something about that so. two weeks later three weeks later it was. a little while later I'm walking through. a bizaar and uh I got this guy running. towards me and he's saying something. impost to and so I start drawing my. pistol because I had my long gun in in. the truck and so I start drawing my. pistol out because we're in a bizaar. which it's like it's not a big deal so. and it was right there on a base it was. one of the bizares kind of attached to.

the base you know what I mean was. protected and there was guys all over. and we had security tow like right there. so we just brought pistols in there we. just wanted to be you know and uh so I. start reaching in and getting my pistol. out and tur puts my hand down I says no. no he's saying thank you it's like and I. was like and me and him have been. working for a long time and had super. trust and it's the dude it's the guy and. he sees me and he's saying thank you and. he hugs me he said come back to my shop. and and so I go back to a shop start. talking to him and become friends you. know and I get a really great discount.

on a rug know cuz he had his really cool. shop so it's a good story huh damn. that's not the whole story it was the. guy it was the guy and so what do you. think I did with that guy so it became. this amazing thing who I actually gave. him over to uh another agency but it was. amazing so we're talking to the guy yeah. so I'm talking to the guy and it's. amazing and good stuff and because the. guy was very aware because he ran that. business he was always there he's always. traveling around saw a lot of stuff so. um amazing and uh we became friends and.

so the point of the story is not all. that the fact that he became a friend or. he ended up being good for us but the. conversations I had with him was about I. want to I don't want to be here and I. know that y'all don't want us to be here. so what can we do to get all these. foreigners out and you know if you've. been in Afghanistan it wasn't really the. afghanis that were doing most of trouble. you know it was everybody else it was. all these jihadists coming in there and. trying to kill Americans just like when. I was in Iraq I got shot by more. Iranians in the beginning that I did. irais they were shooting at us all the.

time cuz they were paying money to go on. the border right there with a fence and. shooting AC. the shatal Arab and trying to get us. across the across the river the Tigers. Euphrates and they come down and you. have that one strip well the Iranians. were shooting across at us and all the. time and but we weren't allowed to talk. about that but there are jihadists they. just want to kill Americans you know. it's it's a bonus for them they get. bonuses I guess when they go to heaven. or something which is ridiculous you. know it's an abrahamic religion you know. we're also part of the abrahamic. religions why can't we all get along or. something like that.

but the whole point of the story is the. fact that I I didn't shoot right away. and the guy was yeah I was in trouble. they were like why did you do that you. brought us all in danger I was like no I. was right there I mean I was controlled. situation it's not a big deal and plus. now I met this dude and is a really good. guy and we're getting good Intel off it. but the point of the story is about here. in America you walk around America and. everybody's fighting everybody's talking. about phobias everybody's calling. everybody Nazis everybody's it's all. this huge fight you walk around the. street and you're lucky if you don't get.

beat up if you're late at night and. you're white or black or is or this or. that if you're different if you're an. other and Courtney brought us up if you. get the term othered put on to you. you're going to get it because that. label is that dangerous label and that's. America right now and so every time I. talk when I give these speeches out in. front of these huge groups of people and. I do that you know like five to 10 big. speeches a year which is pretty good for. me because I'm just living off my.

disability and stuff you know so if I. can give a speech and I can make a. little money off it it's pretty good. deal and I give leadership stuff and I. do motivation stuff but this is one of. the St I talk about is the fact that in. America we're all walking around we. never give anybody chance I said I'm. walking in there as an alien and a. caveman on the ground with no nothing. gave him three seconds I said we don't. do that for each other automatically if. you saw me as a transgender person and. you would just want to fight me you want. to do something and I had Team guys. start trying to pick fights with me and. doing a lot of stuff and it was just.

like I didn't do anything well I. actually did do something with all that. and I feel bad about that but we do that. for everybody for black and white for. Asian for Latino for all of it we're all. fighting we never give each other even. three seconds to have a conversation or. just look at you say hey you're a human. being you know I'm not going to walk up. to you like this and just start punching. you in the face how about you give me. three seconds and so I ask everybody out. there I said you'll never on on anywhere. around the world mostly very rarely will. you ever see you know somebody as far.

apart that as that alien in that cave. man on that rooftop. I gave him three seconds so why can't. you do the same you know just give. everybody you meet three seconds how. about you start with a smile instead of. a Grimace there's this one rapper that. said his whole life changed and all he. did was just changed his eyebrows I. can't remember who it was but he was. always like that and always like trying. to be that tough guy just always like. and you do it you're perectly squint. like that and I can look really mean and. I can go up to you and I can Mad Dog you. and most of those rappers are all doing.

that mad dog stuff he said all he do is. lift his eyebrows and he did that and. everybody. changed everybody started talking to him. differently and he started treating. everybody differently and his whole life. changed and I ask everybody out there 3. seconds you know I was able to do it in. the most critical like whack life and. death. situations yeah you know and it's not a. big thing to ask is that we all start. smiling a little bit just like that guy. did and changed his life just lifted his. eyebrows a little bit and started being. how about to smile how about open your.

hands up out of them fists and talking. to each other now how you see. transgender people right now is the way. I hope a lot of other people start. seeing them there's a lot of folks out. there that are hurting and the thing is. every time you or scowl or you um talk. to a transgender person because they're. looking just whack or whatever's going. on you make fun of them doing anything. like that what you're doing is you're. pushing you're punching them and then as. soon as they get punched they're going. to sit there and they're going to talk. to their trans community and they're the. whole community and they get hugely love.

bombed and all it does is just make the. Gap wider so every time you all out. there in public you aren't smiling with. those transgender people just give them. a break you know they don't need to be. beat up they're beating themselves up. enough you don't need to beat them up. you're getting beat up by everybody else. so if you can do it if you're a human. you have just the slightest bit of. compassion how about you start being a. little nicer how about you give that. person a break and start trying to close. that Gap up a little bit How about if. you're black or white you give it a. break and start closing that Gap up a.

little bit if you're Latino or Asian or. whatever how about we give it all a. break we're not all racists most of us. aren't most of us are poor and most of. us are rich and that's the. division it's not nothing about race and. nothing about religion or nothing about. gender nothing about any of that the. only enemies right now is rich and poor. you know and always been that way we're. the slaves to them and it's all we are. and so we start looking at each other. and start saying hey we're the. same hey dude you're you're good you're.

a good dude I talk to you now for three. seconds all right and we shake hands. it's black and white or man and woman or. gay and straight or trans and not trans. and whatever if we can start closing. those gaps up because we don't shoot we. give them a few seconds we might start. find out that America is a pretty cool. place right now it's a Cess pool right. now it's all fights and CNN's doing it. and fox is doing it and all we're doing. is fighting and we got to stop that you.

got to start offering your hand out when. you see that transgender person in that. in that grocery store just leave them. alone you don't need to make fun of them. they already get enough of that they get. enough of that in the mirror so please. all I say if you listen to this whole. thing you make it here to the. end just would you chill out a little. bit would you start being a little. friendlier to people I don't hate. anybody I want everybody to do well you. know and I want everybody to find. happiness I want everybody to find love.

I did I found love and happiness and I. give everybody at least 3 seconds all. the time no matter what no matter how. they're coming at me until they're like. right there and I start feeling some. danger still trying to give them some. time you know and I just I plead with. our country right now we at the. precipice right now of a Civil War and. you know it and I Know It And A lot of. people know it we're at the precipice. right now we don't have to fall over we. don't have to go there we don't have to.

have another civil war but we're going. to if we keep going in this direction I. beg of you give everybody 3. seconds that's all I. ask you're a good [ __ ] human being. man thanks for. coming thank you I'm trying man I'm. trying it's not easy I'm trying thank. you proud to proud to know you it's an. honor.

hey everybody I'm Shawn Ryan click here. to subscribe to the Shawn Ryan Show. YouTube channel for the hottest and most. compelling interviews that you will not. see anywhere else I've also made a. playlist of all the previous SRS. episodes so they're easy to find you can. find that right here.