Joe Rogan Experience #94 - Joey Diaz (Part 3)

crazy you don't want to be here you want. to be in the mountains Montana Montana. not even Colorado anymore there too many. [ __ ] Momos in col the [ __ ] money. came in the fake [ __ ] money and. bought the hillbillies out the real. [ __ ] that you needed in case. [ __ ] got to go to like Woody Creek to. find those people right no you got to no. Woody Creek is that's still [ __ ]. amateures too really bunch of [ __ ]. boozers up there you got you got to go. deep deep in the mountains of Gunderson. and [ __ ] like that and find those crazy. Gunderson G Bri you got the volume on.

we're echoing gunders Gunderson. Gunderson where's that that's down south. what do you think about all that [ __ ]. about the Denver Airport do you know. anything about the conspiracy behind the. Denver Airport what is it no the Denver. Airport first of all they moved way more. dirt than they needed to and so there's. just all this thought that there's some. sort of subterraneum tunnel tunnel. system it's all based on the end of the. world and like shelters they [ __ ] up. Stapleton airport was a brilliant. airport it was like bir Bank you could. smuggle a [ __ ] dead [ __ ] kilo of. Co Hing there nobody said nothing and.

all of a sudden they came up with a. bright idea let's [ __ ] make an. airport 90 Mi farther out by Kansas so. when it snows we really get [ __ ]. buried we have no protection that's a. bunch of cowboys bro making decisions. and then trust me they're too stupid to. even know what a conspiracy theory is. they had a airport the people that built. it maybe but if the government was. really truly behind it like all these. people think what it is is that they. made an airport there but in. constructing the airport they also built. some sort of ground Safeguard thresh is.

there so there's got to be some kinky. [ __ ] yeah well you know if it's close I. mean that would be a move right building. airport and then build some shelters I. mean that airport is by [ __ ] Kansas. when you go out thatas there ain't dick. out there that's what they call it the. airport it was easy man when I lived in. Denver or in Boulder rather it was easy. to drive there how far was the drive. [ __ ] hour nothing never any traffic. it used to be 25 minutes here's the deal. though bro there's no traffic out there. it don't matter used to be 25 minutes. with no traffic put on [ __ ] Tunes the.

window a little bit they built this. monster to spend money yeah they built. this this monster to to to just you know. like when I went to [ __ ] Newark to. see the fights with you they redid. Newark they built a soccer stadium right. [ __ ] soccer stadium in Newark they're. spending money left and right but they. still can't put in a leftand turning. signal so if you got to make a left 29. [ __ ] miles of people got to make well. they're trying to keep up their. reputation as the car jack capital of. the world and if you got like some left. turn signals you got some outl people. can es Escape can escape the drama.

[ __ ] amazing that's the thing about. that it's like you know they think. that's uh there's something really going. on inside that Denver Airport there's. all these documentaries um dedicated to. it and one of the reasons for it is. because um there's uh these crazy murals. that they're painted up in the Denver. Airport and they're really disturbing. man they're apocalyptic like one guy's. got a [ __ ] gas mask on with a giant. sword and there's like pictures of. children and coffins and there's fire in. the background have you ever seen that.

[ __ ] yeah but yeah we've actually talked. about it on this podcast before yeah but. do you think that has anything to do. with with that like you putting the two. together I don't think that it does. definitely but it's interesting you know. I mean I don't have opinion one way or. another I've listened to the people talk. about how it's some great uh Escape base. and that 2012 there's going to be you. know [ __ ] asteroids going to hit that. they're tracking it's going to kill. everybody except the people that are in. this underground bunker I don't know man. I watched a TV show on those dudes those. dud that have uh they' they've bought.

like [ __ ] condos out in these. shelters out in like Death Valley and. [ __ ] have you seen those people have. space in Death Valley and so they have. like a condo inside this underground. bunker thing it's out in the middle of. [ __ ] nowhere you have to drive and. you go out there and they had uh these. shows I forget who was the host of the. show but they they took you on a tour of. these [ __ ] it might have been Jesse. Ventura no it wasn't him because they. had a sense of humor but they whoever it. was was like really and they they take. in this [ __ ] tour of these.

underground bunkers that they have set. up where they can survive a [ __ ]. nuclear bomb I mean these guys are like. a half a mile deep into the [ __ ]. Earth so you survived the bomb now it's. you and eight [ __ ] Momos looking at. other looking at each other listen just. live your [ __ ] life these people that. dig into that [ __ ] and just live your. [ __ ] life we get hit by a bomb the. best thing you could do is move on to. the [ __ ] next life and pray to God. it'll be [ __ ] better you hear that do. music yeah what the [ __ ] is wrong with. people I'm going to live in a bun can. you imagine being living life consumed.

what happen when the bomb drops after. 1960 those people that [ __ ] wore off in. the 60s they all moved into buildings. with underground drops with little. [ __ ] sandwiches that's how Tang was. [ __ ] invented what do you think they. invented Tang for so when we go in that. [ __ ] tunnel of Doom and after the. Russians [ __ ] everybody in the ass we. could come out and we got vitamin C from. the [ __ ] Tang that's what Tang was. invented for but guess what our fears. aren't the Russians anymore it's a lot. bigger than that and whatever's going to. hit now right now there's a thing going. on in Japan where we don't [ __ ] know.

they're lying to the people just like. everything else they're lying a 20 mile. radius that shit's horrible that [ __ ] is. horrible radiation is [ __ ] horrible. and the best is all these people are. raising their hands now we have. radiation in Key West don't blame it on. [ __ ] Japan don't blame it on Japan. now it's not Japan for you guys have had. radiation on your own you greasy. [ __ ] down there off the coast. of Florida you filthy [ __ ] suckers now. you want to blame on the poor [ __ ]. Japs there walking around with [ __ ]. mask and egg there's radiation in. Florida that's primarily from up wh.

jerking guys off and creating heat in. the air [ __ ] sperm that they put in. the [ __ ] beach during CSI Miami they. see all these chicks Brazilians jumping. up and down with that ass that's what. that [ __ ] is [ __ ] [ __ ] nasty. radiation but there's something extra. dirty about porn that you get from Miami. you ever watch porn from Miami cuz it's. almost like they're like [ __ ] people. [ __ ] you know what I mean and they're. always oiled up. toic and just something about it like. you can't relate it's hard to even jerk. off we trouble Joe Rogan never mind the. Martians and what's going on we're in. [ __ ] trouble this thing this thing in.

Japan is a lot worse than what they're. saying you think so [ __ ] yeah what makes. you say this just I just know our. society and they don't want to scar us. wait till those [ __ ] Japanese start. coming out with six [ __ ] eyes and Sh. you don't know which one's looking at. you then they're going to say what the. is that better so you can see better you. know maybe that's 2012 that'll be our. Next Mutation an adaptation to radiation. this is not [ __ ] are there any. animals besides roaches that are really. good with radiation roaches is supposed. to be the best at it right yeah they. pretty much live through anything but is. that is that.

is that even just like a t i don't know. someone should do us a favor now we know. that the Japan is [ __ ] send a box of. cockroaches over there with a webcam on. it let's see what's up telling you man. if you love America go over there and do. that stupid all that [ __ ] water all. that soil and they don't know what the. [ __ ] going on and you know what now. besides that we're all spread out we're. in Libya we're in this [ __ ] place. what the [ __ ] are we doing [ __ ] crazy. are you [ __ ] crazy these guys are. just sitting there waiting it's like. it's like uh you're just waiting for us. to wear up before you [ __ ] us in the all.

that what's that guy we've been looking. for for 11 years he's just sitting there. going oh we got him now just spread out. like [ __ ] we'll just light a. firer in Kansas CNN breaking news I get. CNN breaking news sent to my phone holla. us intelligence Source CIA is operating. inside Libya to help us increase. military and political understanding. what that means somebody's about to get. jacked [ __ ] what kind of.

horeshit quote is that oh the CIA is. there to increase military and political. understanding no this is what we want. you to do do you understand okay here's. the political understanding we got the. bombs [ __ ] okay we got [ __ ] robots. that we can operate from Nevada okay and. you don't even see them cuz they blend. in with the sky and they don't make any. noise cuz they're [ __ ] solar. powerered and they can contain Hellfire. missiles Hellfire that's why they. decided to name them not you know the. the the beautiful flower missile or you.

know lick my [ __ ] missile no Hellfire. Hellfire missiles and they're shooting. them from another [ __ ] part of the. World Imagine the lag they have they. must have to really like plan a shot in. advance like it's just like playing. Quake online when you got lag if you. have like a 56k connection and there's. some [ __ ] you're playing against he's. got a cable modem and you know he gets. to move quicker than you because his. downtime his pain time between. connecting to the server and back is. much quicker so you're [ __ ] so these. guys must have like super lag listen in. 1985 we went to see Rambo 2 and that.

[ __ ] took an arrow out on an. explosive at the end and when he shot it. all of us lost on mind nobody like the. black people black people love Arrows. with explosives at the I seen that movie. 178 I never seen black people go [ __ ]. crazy in my life when Rambo came out of. the mud and his eyes opened up and. choked the [ __ ] black people. with bananas they're like yelling we. should have thought of that but what is. it about black dudes that love watching. martial arts love it anything special. like a dude doing some crazy [ __ ] like.

oh that [ __ ] got a gun in his. shoe check that [ __ ] out there's. something about a dude pulls his shoe. off and guns down the bad guy like oh. [ __ ] no he didn't what what is that what. is mean they're just very vocal they're. excited you know they but the best thing. about this is that was 20 years ago the. [ __ ] we got now as bombs and stuff is. off the we got a bomb we got a bomb that. comes at you as a car that follows you. to the gas station bro and while you're. pumping ass it turns into a bomb a guy.

pops out and Taps you on the shoulder he. says goodbye that's the [ __ ] we got we. got [ __ ] that comes to your house. dressed up like a cake happy birthday. and when you go to block the candles it. just [ __ ] blows up we got some [ __ ]. now you know what I saw that was really. crazy they got this Rover this uh this. uh remote control drone Rover that's. moving around that can jump in the air. it gets up to a fence and I think can go. like eight or nine ft in the [ __ ] air. wow and it moves up to the fence and. then it just goes and flies to the air. and lands on the other side and it looks.

like it basically looks like like some. sort of a flat box you know where all. the electronics is with like two tractor. two rubber tractor things on the side of. it I guess and the [ __ ] thing flies. through the air I mean what what's next. you know that's the other thing that um. people are thinking about a lot of the. [ __ ] that's going down in Afghanistan a. lot of the [ __ ] that's going down in the. Middle East period is that the CIA has. got all kinds of [ __ ] going on all kinds. of little drones and explosives blowing. up in convenient spots to spark anger.

and you know that's what they do they. what they do and Spark war and get you. know they've always done that and the. bottom line of this what what do you. think is really going on they figured. out some Libyan doctor figured out a way. how to grow 50 kilos of heroin in your. bad tub in the United States find out. that Jack that [ __ ] Gaddafi's. got an army of [ __ ] around this. guy with missiles and explosives but the. United States is jacking this guy it's. got something to do with h it's got. something to do with [ __ ] why we're. over there in the [ __ ] first place. the whole nucleus of this thing people.

are dying in Detroit from heroin from. this [ __ ] war and we're still now. we're going to take over Libya boxes of. money bro isn't it amazing how many. people who think you're crazy when you. start talking about the fact they're in. Afghanistan for heroin people go what. are you talking about they'll look at. you like you just [ __ ] just ate a. bowl of [ __ ] they'll look at you like. you oh you're ridiculous person yeah. we're at War for heroin where do you. think that money's going man where's. that money going where do you know how.

much money we're talking about they're. going to ignore that you're [ __ ]. crazy we want to take over a country so. we can eat better Gyros that's what you. telling me gyro go [ __ ] yourself we're. taking over a country so we can take. over that [ __ ] loot dog that's the. bottom line man the bottom line there's. all sorts of loot over there and there's. all sorts of loot in Libya too I mean. it's it's is it a [ __ ] coincidence. that for whatever reason we decide to. attack Libya instead of going to Mexico. and straighten out that [ __ ] that's. right next door but on Mexico's got. burritos burritos and hookers and.

donkeys and Tequila there's not a lot of. [ __ ] to offer Mexicans getting ready. though got some crazy [ __ ] down. there D well they got to they got to. clean up their problem they got a big. problem and it's because of the United. States it's a big part of it they they. wanted to make everything legal they. wanted to you know they did do you know. that here's a a little known fact Mexico. has decriminalized everything small. amounts when you're not selling it. everything's legal now you could get. acid in Mexico you can get mushrooms in. Mexico they decriminalize everything. just because they had to allocate.

resources to fighting these [ __ ] drug. lords I mean that's a that's a gone. country that country's gone that country. doesn't have a government anymore and. it's right next door right next door. right next door right next door the the. [ __ ] drug Army is it's like going to. war with someone who lives in your. country it's like if we were fighting. al- qaa but Al Qaeda had billions of. dollars and was way more armed and they. were living here that's what it's like. that's what it's like being [ __ ] cop. and here's the crazy thing Mexico's. coming back to get what's theirs [ __ ]. California and Texas ready to rock you.

can't take Texas it's not going to. happen you can't take Texas even the. Mexicans will they go around Texas and. Jack Wyoming Jack Dall Dallas Arcana and. [ __ ] they'll give them a beat n you. can't the outskirts of Texas they'll. come out of their hunting blinds and. kill you have a chance he he lives there. Ted nent lives in Waco now yeah you. can't fuckex yeah [ __ ] yeah he does he's. got a a high fence I've always admired. with I I think he's a [ __ ] but I think. he he does a lot of things that I really. agree with and one of the things that I. agree with is when lived in Michigan he. had this badass compound we had 2,000.

acres or something like that and it was. all fenced in and he had all these. animals living inside his compound and. he would just go and Jack them and. that's where he got all his food from he. got all his food from hunting on his own. property and I'm like God damn it that's. [ __ ] brilliant that's how I want to. live I would love to live like that just. eat what you hunt hunt eat yeah well. that's one of the reasons why I was into. moving to Colorado one of the reasons. why I was up there I was like look if. the [ __ ] hits the fan I'm living in the. woods you know there's a lot of animals. out here and there spring water that. comes out imagine [ __ ] shooting a pig.

yeah and cooking them in a [ __ ] cave. with your kids and a cave just giving. them all [ __ ] silverware and living. in a tent with [ __ ] heaters if the. [ __ ] ever went down and got kinky can. you imagine that kinky K kinky dog kinky. [ __ ] gets kinky dog in the cave about. you [ __ ] I'm excited about. Oregon Oregon's one of those States. we're going to have a good [ __ ] time. Oregon's one of those States that's been. on the grid for years but nobody knew. about it they kept it Hush Hush I used. to get some good weed in Oregon 15. [ __ ] years. pass ashin Eugene Bend Oregon's a hippie.

[ __ ] Foundation over there in B. Portland's a pretty hippie place too. isn't it very hippie place up there. girls have dirty feet dirty got make. them put socks on [ __ ] socks it's socks. on don't breathe in my mouth Portland. was the the place that uh I went to last. year and we were at trying to find the. most attractive person in a Costco for. like a half hour mean the girl is with. and we oh see who would you [ __ ] yeah. and we couldn't find anyone so wow wait. that's a Costco though dude go to a. Costco and Burbank you're de with a.

bunch of cripples there too I know but. that's a packed Costco I usually can. find one string you need to go to a. better places so there's a smaller. amount smaller amount of people you'd. want to [ __ ] that's okay dude you're. going to be okay I'll be okay got to. live somewhere with this if this place. falls apart I went to there's too many. humans here to [ __ ] people too many. yeah but we keep on saying that but. we're not do anything about it I did I. did I [ __ ] moved man the only reason. why I came back is cuz Mrs Rogan got. pregnant and because the dog got eaten. by a mount Mar it wasn't for that went.

to the suburbs then or something well. that's my next move you ain't going back. what are you talking about oh it's not. like I'm already talking to real estate. agents you Ain going you don't know. she'll let you talk she'll let you talk. all that nonsense go back this is the. move the move is you go and you get a. summer place and you try it out and you. live there for a summer then it becomes. like You' be super nice while you're. there so it becomes all nostalgic you. know so I just every time we're there. I'll just bring home flers and [ __ ] and. then we come back to LA and then it's. all Jiu-Jitsu and loud music and too.

much pot smoke so LA's negative daddy's. crazy in La daddy just wants to fight in. someone pot and he's walking around. naked no in Colorado daddy wants to go. get ice cream and daddy's bringing. flowers home see you just train them bro. here's the problem you got FS on I love. you to death I got you here's the. problem Joe Rogan's got Joe Rogan's got. a great wife and Joe Rogan I went to his. home last week and that was one of the. first times that Mrs Rogan was a couple. times that I've been up there like four.

times Mrs Rogan likes to rock the house. Mrs ran don't like to sit at home and. the problem is all all up where you live. now all you got to do is go down the. hill she get the party started where you. put her before [ __ ] that's a. witness relocation plan she had to drive. 90 miles before she even seen a Denny's. dog it was another 20 miles she was from. all the way up in Boulder the first mall. that she cares about is Cherry [ __ ]. Creek you know what I'm saying so you. had a too far away Denver yeah you had. too far away from the mall too far away. from the mall you got to keep closer to. the mall you had a 90 [ __ ] miles dog.

and then she slipped on the ice you know. I love the most living BW up what I love. the most living up there was that there. was a small amount of people man Boulder. Boulder's only got 100,000 plus people. not that much man and people are. friendlier like that there's a more. relaxed Vibe and I think that [ __ ] is. healthy I think there's something. exciting about living in a big city. especially if you're you know you're. involved in the hustle and bustle and. you're really trying to make something. happen andle. I can't believe you talking to a real.

again if you got divorced you probably. get married again after a week you dumb. [ __ ] you talking to a real again are you. really talking to's going to shut that. party up you got to figure out a way to. get a [ __ ] car for her to the mall. quicker where the action I could do that. don't worry about that and you got to. move a little closer that was too much. you a little closer and you just need to. move to Texas Texas is cool Texas is the. answer too I like Austin I'm a big fan. of that Austin Texas I'll tell you that. I'd live there if I was going to live. but still weed is not legal there the. thing about Colorado is it's just like. California you could just go rock weed.

everywhere move to Austin no not yet not. yet the [ __ ] hits the fan anything can. happen you know when when the [ __ ] hits. a fan then everybody gets scared then. you start making you know survival. choices you can live in Kansas you know. you'd rather be healthy in Kansas you. know but um the wheed stores in Colorado. are just like out here bro it's just out. they're everywhere there's one place in. Denver where there's [ __ ] seven of. them on a. street they're everywhere is it easier. to get a license though same same deal I. I get headache. okay bang prescription.

son 20 minutes away from me when I was. shooting that movie last year right in. the mountains they had them nice like a. doctor oh yeah there's a place that I. used to go to in the mountains it was. like a gift shop and they were doing. they were struggling they were doing. terrible and you know the [ __ ] they. were about to lose their business and. then they started selling weed in the. back of the gift shop legal they got a. legal license boom now they're balling. now they're they're about to open the. one place they open up in Boulder is. supposedly I don't know if it's open yet. but they were talking about is it was. going to be 30,000 ft it was going to be.

three floors I don't know if they went. through with it I need to find out if. they did because that's just the most. ridiculous [ __ ] I've ever heard that's a. goddamn shopping mall a Walmart of weed. yeah a Walmart of weed yeah but they had. great spots there man they had great. spots where you can get weed I got some. [ __ ] weed two days ago in Hollywood. it's 31% THC level you don't even this. [ __ ] ain't even necessary what was it. again it's Matt OG I've been smoking. Matt since 2006 and you got to figure. that every year it gets a little. stronger it's trade weed they pay this.

girl I forgot to bring a butt it looks. like one of the Martians from. Independence Day it's you can see the. sativa and the Inda growing around it. it's like a hybrid [ __ ] beautiful. what if I told you I had a joint of that. right now did whyi give it to you huh no. I went and got it no you didn't yeah I. did go get that [ __ ] son do you really. have some what's it called Max number. one OG bring it back in sparket kid oh. that [ __ ] is [ __ ] strong bro I had to. go to the gym but I was [ __ ] up dog. sounds good dog so orgon is going to be. fun last time. I went to Eugene Oregon with jod FY and.

we had a Saturday night there for a one. night at a Tribble but it was the same. night that there was a convention for. like the American Association of. [ __ ] children I don't want to say it. wrong but it was like the children that. you know Special Olympics right and they. had a lot of little [ __ ] kids. running around so when I go to check in. I'm high as a [ __ ] there's all. these kids with balloons and I'm just. freaking cuz Oregon got some deep weed. you know what I'm saying we got some at. the gas station Brian you're going to. love this [ __ ] so I got a lighter we. into the hotel and Eugene and Joe this.

is not 10 or 15 of them this is 600. children you know Special Olympics 200. [ __ ] ones and their parents whoa so. I go to my room you know we smoke we do. the show the show isn't a hotel but on a. different part they're having a little. dance you had to see this they're all. holding hands with little balloons and. the Disco and it was very cute to see. but if a lot with the story a lot of. people don't know is [ __ ] guys boys. are the strongest [ __ ] in the. world and they're most perverted really. oh I've heard that like a [ __ ] boy.

they go [ __ ] nuts if you see them if. you show them your [ __ ] really so. listen to me we're in the [ __ ] comedy. club and all they switch it at 10. o'clock they switch it they turn it into. a. disco and Jody's got a couple cocktails. in it she started dance and she got big. titties at the time and this's this. little [ __ ] boy who breaks away from. the [ __ ] pile and goes into the dance. and he starts to look at jod and you. could see Joe Rogan that he's losing his. [ __ ] mind oh no and finally he goes. over on the dance starts dancing with he. starts dancing with and he starts. grinding with and Jody thinks it's cute.

and all of a sudden they come in they're. like there he is there's little David. and they come to grab and David [ __ ]. snaps like one of those [ __ ] gorillas. in the zoo right now they had three. black doormen that were trying to tackle. little Timmy little Timmy was throwing. them around like Brock Lesnar throwing. around [ __ ] John Fitch just pick the. whole offensive line of the Giants. couldn't H his little [ __ ]. down three [ __ ] black gorillas and he. just pushed him on D i d de de n n n n.

he seen those titties he went [ __ ]. ape [ __ ] he's pushing them the counsels. came they had to throw him on the. [ __ ] floor and put his. hand he seen them titties he wear. [ __ ] ape [ __ ] dog whoa those little. Tarts go [ __ ] bananas when you show. them there little what tards and it was. just titty can you imagine if it was the. monkey he would have jump bro these. these these this is the University of. Eugene these are big black football. players they couldn't control this. little 12year oldold he was banging them. throwing them around like n get out he. 12 or 13 just throwing these [ __ ].

black guys around and I never forget. that that they had to put them on the. floor handcuff them shoot them. tranquilize them this little [ __ ]. poor kid seen titties and he went. [ __ ] bananas. bananas that's crazy have you SE wonder. if they're just doing what everybody. wants to do but just doesn't have the. balls the wall they they don't have the. walls the to break down you know what I. mean yeah wonder if that's what people. like instinctively want to do you think. like that way yeah retards can't be like. like extra more horny right no they.

probably not extra horny it's put that. fan on them sweating like Joe Rogan's. house at the electricity you know what. I'm saying you're killing me here woo. bro this kid went [ __ ] bananas he. ripped the Shir that's scary you can't. even beat them up what do what do you do. do you can't drop a bomb on a [ __ ] the. funny thing was that they built like a. wall at first and they threw him out. first they asked him to leave and he was. like they built like the black guys got. shoulder to shoulder right and he was. grabbing their. shoulders like what you doing I mean it. was [ __ ] scary for they don't know. they look bad you know that's one of the.

weird things about people that are. [ __ ] or down syndrome or whatever. they don't seem to know you know they. just kind of are they just behave they. don't they're like go why am I so. [ __ ] stupid you're so smart no. they're not like that for they're just. themselves you know what I mean it's. like that must be a strange strange. existence where you know that's part of. being dumb is that you're too dumb to. realize you're dumb you know and if you. I'm not saying dumb like there's like. they're lazy like they have an issue. there's a mental issu mental imbalance. whatever the [ __ ] it is but I mean it's.

they're impaired but they're so impaired. they don't know they're impaired like. they've lost the ability to see that. they're impaired you know what a strange. thing what if they all have an inner. voice that that's completely normal like. but they can't take a to B like you know. you know what I mean so the whole time. there was just like I can't believe how. much they treat me so horrible and I. wish I you know but they can't when they. try to say it it's. like there's probably there's probably a. lot of that yeah I think there's a bunch. of different types of you know being.

[ __ ] up you know for sure there's that. too you know it's not it's not just. simple as you there's some there's. varying degrees Yeah there's varying. degrees along the way that are you know. I mean it's a [ __ ] crazy thing man to. to have your mind impaired you know and. like look our minds are impaired in. comparison I was watching this [ __ ]. 12-year-old kid this autistic kid with. 170 IQ doing his take on the theory of. relativity and he's writing out. equations on this [ __ ] window and I'm. watching this kid I'm like this kid.

might as well be a [ __ ] alien all. right I don't know what he's doing I. have no idea he's explaining this like. this is all simple simple [ __ ] when this. is so far beyond my capacity to him to. this autistic kid I'm [ __ ] okay I am. this guy who he has to humor because I. can't understand a [ __ ] word a letter. A Single part of his equation I don't. know what's going on up there it's chaos. to me but to him it's so clear it's a. language he's like well quite simply you. have to move this and this becomes xal. yal 2 we are the retards to that kid you.

know maybe like maybe like you know. people with Down Syndrome they feel bad. with people don't have Down syndrome. maybe it's just like us we feel bad with. people have autism right like oh this. poor kid's got autism man he can't. engage in all the normal emotional. things that we do meanwhile this. [ __ ] is you know count counting. to a billion in his head while while. he's talking to you about how a. television is conduct constructed you. know maybe we're retards to them maybe. you know they look at us and they go. these poor [ __ ] they can't even do math. in their head they don't they can't see.

through walls they they can't read. people's minds you know well but some. people are just I had a kid in the. eighth grade his name was Michael aliga. Sicilian kid he had been fresh off the. boat in the [ __ ] sixth grade by the. eighth grade this [ __ ] spoke. three languages oh my. God all that Sicilian [ __ ] but he picked. up Spanish and he picked up English and. I used to just sit and look at him in. awe do you know what I'm saying like he. was such a cool [ __ ] that I just. wanted to hang with him he was so and he. was a nerd we used to play when you we.

used to play hockey we hit him in the. chins with the with the hockey stick and. he go oh yeah. yeah so I would die after he was an. imigrant to the bat he was my dog. Michael Al hilarious and he but this kid. knew nothing when he came off a boat. January in the sixth grade by the eighth. grade he knew three [ __ ] language he. would talk to me in Spanish talk to you. in English like nothing and get A's you. know some people work ethic too it's a. some people people just they have this. insane work ethic and people that get a.

chance to come to America it's so much. different than being born in America we. don't have any [ __ ] idea you live you. know you're living in [ __ ] Guatemala. or some [ __ ] you know your your. opportunities are [ __ ] few and far. between you know you're living in some. place that's impoverished you're you're. kind of [ __ ] man but when you're in. America dude holy [ __ ] so these guys you. know their family gets them together. look we're going to move to America we. want to have a better life and you. realize you're leaving everything behind. you're putting all your [ __ ] [ __ ] in. cargo planes and you're all sitting. together crammed in coach and you know.

eating fruit out of your mom's purse and. you know just hoping that when you get. there things are going to be better and. you don't know anybody there and how. scary is this so when those. [ __ ] get to school they come. out guns blazing you know they. appreciate the fact that holy [ __ ] I. used to live in Italy now here I am in. the land of the free the home of the. brave you know I'm in America and I'm in. school and I'm learning English and I'm. just going to go [ __ ] crazy over here. they're just so happy and Joe ran that's. the one half of it because I didn't.

leave Cuba crying we moved I woke up on. 89th Street in Riverside Drive I had all. the [ __ ] things that a rich kid would. have at that age and here I was walking. around this [ __ ] City but I didn't. know English and all you want to do in. your heart is just fit in and you have. no idea this is not trying to fit in. when you're in grammar school and you. should get a tattoo a long hair all you. want to know is for them not to know. that you came from somewhere else that. that I can't describe it to you I can't. even fck start to tell you like. sometimes I have this anger at me and.

it's cuz I I we were we were so lucky we. were so lucky any three of us could have. been born one of those black kids in. [ __ ] Haiti with flies on you any. three of us and we have so many [ __ ]. opportunities and sometimes I wake up in. the morning this really hits me. sometimes I go how [ __ ] lucky am I. that my mother came here and here I am. sitting here smoking dope I got to go. mug somebody you know what I'm saying. like think about that's what an. immigrant must like I you know I'm. telling you for a long time I've been. writing this thing and that's how it. starts with you know I don't remember.

anything I don't remember the plane ride. from Cube I remember nothing all I. remember is crossing the [ __ ] Street. on 89th and Broadway up to. ps166 and thinking to myself finally I'm. going to be a [ __ ] American wow what. does that mean looking at that flag and. really believeing something dog it's not. just a piece of [ __ ] rag looking at. that flag and going what the [ __ ] like. looking at the wind blowing that flag. and going what the [ __ ]. that flag is the answer to all my. [ __ ] problems that's the answer right.

there but even at that age I knew my. mother was [ __ ] crazy so I knew I was. in a full-fledged American but looking. at that flag when you look at that flag. and you just come here that they have a. scene in the beginning of Scarface when. they're on the boat and they finally see. land and they show the American flag and. the director whoever the guy is. brilliant enough to show he showed it. from a different angle what that flag. looks like it's not just we Overlook. that flag every [ __ ] day we overlook. that flag you don't know what it is to. look at that flag when you first come.

here and to know that that's your. [ __ ] that's your magic carpet it's. the highest ideal in the world the. highest ideal that's why it's so. infuriating when politicians are [ __ ]. corrupt that's why it's so you know. people say you know why do you criticize. what America does overseas don't you. love America yeah if you love it you. want to tell the [ __ ] truth about. what it's doing you know if you love it. you're supposed to stand up and go what. the [ __ ] is going on it's like you don't. love it by letting it get away with. stupid [ __ ] because there's some corrupt. cuns at the wheel that's not doesn't. mean you don't love the idea of America.

I [ __ ] love the idea of America for. sure always remember we only see the one. side of that flag we never see both. sides together gentlemen and that's a. point we we never we only see that one. side of the flag right now you discussed. that the CIA is setting up things in. Libya what are they setting up they're. starting a war they're starting business. yeah they're getting things going that's. the other side of that flag that we're. never able to see we only see one side. FL put a mirror on the other side of the. flag you know what I'm saying that's the. one side of the flag that we have since. we accept this side of the flag we got.

to accept that side yeah the only way. that side this side is possible where. it's easy to drive around as if they're. doing all this creepy [ __ ] you got to. bring unless we bring the whole world. together in on everything and that's. just not going to happen and we've done. creepy [ __ ] [ __ ] as they're going to. do creepy [ __ ] too we can't trust them. you know we you can't trust people to be. cool you know look the Natural Instinct. if someone can get into a position of. power is to be Gaddafi that's the. Natural Instinct the natural instinct is. to get BOTOX when you're a have this big. stupid looking rubber face wear goofy.

clothes and just be running [ __ ] even. though you're this old [ __ ] you know. living in some [ __ ] castle with. billions of dollars why is he doing that. job can you tell me why is he doing it. we put billions of dollars for money the. other side of that flag is money Joe. Rogan that's a lot of people never had. comprehend that that's the reality of IT. stand up is a beautiful thing to do some. guys are brilliant some guys aren't. bring the millionaires the other four. between the crack the other side the. stand up it's a business yeah it really. is a [ __ ] business guys and it's like. anything else the other side of that. flag is a business guys and the same way.

we want Social Security when we're 65. our country has to do sell a couple. kilos every once in a while to replenish. those [ __ ] funds you know what I'm. saying and that's a side the American. public don't want to know that's a side. that included Kennedy that's a side that. Alex Jones talks about whether it's true. or not that's a side we're not supposed. to see we're supposed to be focused on. the other side on what that machine is. supposed to mean to us and for guys like. you and I I like looking behind the. curtain but I don't I don't because I.

grew up in in a corrupt Hometown and I. seen what politics is at a minute level. I can't even dream of what it is at a. national [ __ ] level when uh I'm. taking political contributions but I'm. going to pass your [ __ ] bill so you. could pass that law that'll make. people's hands grow back but they're. also going to give them cancer in the. eyeballs that's part of it it grows it. when I grew up in it when it was in a. micro process I now it's in a the. national level of corruption is in a. macro process and it starts with little. things in townships where if isn't macro.

smaller than micro yeah micro macro I'm. a little high I'm sorry guys but you. understand my I know exactly what you're. saying yeah it's uh it's very. interesting corruption if not checked. grows it all just keeps getting bigger. it's not like they go hey we got to cut. the [ __ ] I know we've been making. millions of dollars on the sneak tip but. everybody's got to stop right now and. I'm not kidding why you still making. money these weaky leak things are pretty. cool for the country I think in general. that's why these [ __ ] want to put. that guy in jail they want compromises. American secur no it doesn't he he did. exactly what the New York Times was.

supposed to do if they got that. information they should have done that. on Twitter though can you imagine if. there was just like this Twitter address. that everyone followed that every tweet. by the way JFK here's pictures of JFK. selling cocaine to dude Wikileaks has a. Twitter and they they released [ __ ] on. the Twitter they released [ __ ] on the. Twitter they released uh some uh an. article about how um different U parts. of uh the American economy are. influenced by genetically modified foods. and how we are trying to force them on. other countries and then we're like. [ __ ] with other countries if they. don't go into the genetically modified.

food if they don't start growing like. Monsanto corn and [ __ ] like that you. know those that that that those these. giant companies are way too embedded. into the political system they're not. doing stuff for the greater good of. people they're doing stuff for the. profitability of giant corporations that. moved him into position in the first. place the whole thing has been corrupted. like to sit down and pretend that that. that it's real is insulting it's like a. it's like a stupid argument it's like. people who argue about pro wrestling you. know it's like what are you arguing. about this is a a fake nonsense process.

if you can't no notice that from Obama. Obama's going to pull all the troop out. of a oh he's not Obama won the Nobel. Peace Prize and then he sent 30,000 more. [ __ ] troops to Afghanistan I mean. come on man look at all the [ __ ] that. he's done to allow these [ __ ] to get. away with stealing all that [ __ ]. money and that bailout I watched that. Inside Job movie dude that [ __ ] is. disgusting it's disgusting How deep the. corruption is in the financial uh the. whole fin fincial sector it's scary dude. they have the people that are Regulators.

eventually get jobs with the banks like. how the [ __ ] you're telling me you work. as a guy who's working for the SEC and. you're looking into Banks and Corruption. and [ __ ] like that and then when you. quit you get a job with the bank how the. [ __ ] are you not in jail how the [ __ ]. are you not in jail you were the one. responsible for looking over these. [ __ ] while they were doing all. sorts of crazy [ __ ] betting on things. failing and betting three times more. than than a business is worth and.

speculatively then it's [ __ ] then. it's all [ __ ] it's all [ __ ] that. they're not you you got to like hold. them the the most accountable you can. and it's barely at all people's dreams.

people's dreams when you steal people's. dreams that's the worst thing in the. [ __ ] world you're 63 years old or. somebody calls you and says you're not. going to get your your money at 66 or 67. all that money you put away that happens. to those guys a lot too it's happened to. a lot of [ __ ] people people at 60 I. just watched something about a month ago. people 71 getting part-time [ __ ] jobs. now 69 this [ __ ] movie showed um I. believe it was Iceland how they went in. and jacked the Icelandic economy in like.

a couple of years these Banks went in. and just [ __ ] just created Bubbles. and started making crazy money spending. in acccess and then it all failed and. people are [ __ ] they had like the most. stable the most normalized economy like. it was a beautiful economy everything. was running smooth people were hard. workers people got [ __ ] done they lived. a life of you know relative Prosperity. now they're [ __ ] everybody lost. everything everyone's [ __ ] everyone's. pissed off in the states I think it. already has it already has what is this.

bailout what what is this how do you how. do these people get money when when. their banks failed well they have. bonuses in their contract bonuses how. the [ __ ] do you get a bonus when the. bank fails like the idea that you have. to respect them and that they can't lose. that's just they're it's so corrupt seen. size of the bonuses millions and. millions and this is from Banks where we. had to pay them we gave them money and. they're giving out money and either way. if your bank [ __ ] fails you can't get.

a bonus you can't get a bonus I'm sorry. the bank [ __ ] failed do you take no. personal responsibility like who takes. responsibility somebody and it shouldn't. it be the guy that that stands to make a. bonus if the bank does well that should. be the guy who takes personal. responsibility so when the bank [ __ ]. fails you don't get your bonus [ __ ] face. that's it it's that simple why why the. [ __ ] can't the president say that in. instead he's like we're going to you. know limit it to half a million dollars. half a million [ __ ] dollars for a. bonus when your bank fails like you want.

these [ __ ] are so not living in. reality in most people's reality these. [ __ ] cost so many [ __ ] people their. life savings and they have to get their. bonuses and the president's like well we. have to give it to him what the [ __ ] are. you talking about you have to give it to. them you can't just step in and go cut. the [ __ ] are you [ __ ] crazy no you. can't get $30 million after your [ __ ]. bank fails no in the middle of a crazy. down economy where billions of dollars. from taxpayers moneyy has been funnel to. [ __ ] Banks to keep them afloat no you.

can't get a bonus [ __ ] you're lucky. you have a job you're lucky your head is. attached to your [ __ ] shoulder you're. lucky not getting 90 [ __ ] years yeah. you're lucky you're not in jail forever. in Haiti can I ask you a question have. you followed what's going on in the city. of bell bell where's bell bell. California is a city that the [ __ ]. guys just jacked them what happened like. the [ __ ] you got to get up early in the. morning for this cuz they talking about. like KTLA it's the city here of bell off. the 605 or something and all the mayor. everybody it was as corrupt as can be.

they have been jacking Millions so if. it's at that City of Bell if the. corruption is that deep the cops were. having ticket contests really oh this is. every day on the news they come up with. more [ __ ] the guy just got rected this. is old school Jersey [ __ ] like school. where is Bell Bell California it's I I. think like you 30 minutes from here. south yeah 30 45 minutes yeah. and they just been having this [ __ ] in. there lately it's a [ __ ] storm they all.

they were all stealing all five guys. were stealing big pools I don't. understand how they feel like no one's. going to get caught it's like good. remember Good Fellas when Robert Dino. had to start killing people because. they're spending too much money yeah. that's the same goddamn thing man that. was a great scene wasn't it where you. realize the guy came in his wife had a. [ __ ] beautiful fur coat on it's like. what the [ __ ] are you doing and then. they they know know they have to kill. this guy and then there photos of him. and his wife shot in the car what a. great guy God damn movie that was that. movie was on the other night and and I. walked in the par with they at the.

mother's house and they're borrowing the. knife but you got to think of that whole. scene they're borrowing a knife to stab. this guy in the car meanwhile while. they're eating the guy's in the trunk of. the [ __ ] car and they're eating like. it's the 4th of July yeah they're eating. eggs and bread and [ __ ] telling. stories remember the painting yeah dogs. what you want for me such that is such a. sick [ __ ] movie right there a great. movie what do you want from me there's. not that many of those there's very few. of those that ever get that good you. know there's very few movies that ever.

like hit that that's like a perfect. movie good Fells is like a perfect. [ __ ] movie everything about it. especially when you see it 20 years. later when she was screaming at Ray. Leota and he run he starts laughing and. runs away CU gacked out of his [ __ ]. mind she's screaming at him and he's. laughing remember when they were were. packaging up the Coke and his girlfriend. was getting pissed off you know she cuz. he's got her just [ __ ] making Coke. for him now he was banging her on the. side still with his wife and he's got. her packaging Coke for him and then you. know he he leaves laughing and she. [ __ ] throws the coke at the door you.

remember that [ __ ] here's the craziest. thing ever like I tell the craziest. thing ever when he gets to that scene. and I did Coke for 30 years when he gets. to that scene and he snorts it and he. pops his head up and his eyes dilate. right in front of the camera that scene. is where I turn the movie off really it. bothers me to no end you know why it. bothers me because he steals it dog he. Taps into the coke when he's standing. there with his arms watch it again when. she's weighing it and he's standing. there with his arms folded how many. times you see me with my arms folded. that mean that means you have potential.

energy you're ready to explode you can't. even take watching that fill that. [ __ ] envelope when he sees the. [ __ ] the helicopter and you know it's. behind you the chitter chatter they have. that's paranoid talk why can't we go to. your mother's house when they drop the. guns off can you imagine Joe why can't. we go to your mother's house and drop. off guns they had this chitter child. when he gets out of jail and he's feing. for the Coke and he comes home and he's. trying to tell her that he wants it for. money he wants to get high I've been.

there Karen Karen what' you do it was. what was all we had Karen that whole. chat look at how high they were he just. passes out they just passed out perfect. yeah they just pass out from the [ __ ]. had that's all we had $60,000 in the. [ __ ] thing he had in the ceiling. wouldn't have found it great [ __ ]. movie that was but it's amazing when. he's looking up at the helicopters and. he's driving he's so [ __ ] parano yes. when he was in the car and he thought it. was over and he and he's getting rid of.

guns right wasn't he yeah you have no. idea what is is to get coked up in this. little room and look out that window all. night by the blonde and there's like a. and there's a there's like there'll be a. what do you call those things a fire. hydrant uhhuh but in your mind it. becomes a dog could you imagine if you. got like Osama Bin Laden coked up could. you imagine if you got someone someone. like Gaddafi coked up right now how. paranoid he would be they just go [ __ ]. he probably does it you think he does. coke of course you're a [ __ ].

terrorist you're probably [ __ ]. [ __ ] hookers kdaf is not a terrorist. he's a he's a dictor or I mean I mean. some he's but I mean yeah he's the same. thing he's bad bad person right enemy. bad person there was a guy called Carlos. something that was part of the medine. cartel in the 80s bad [ __ ] the. one that was in charge of bringing up. all the blow he got so crazy on not Nar. Carlos yeah what's his last name he R. was it Nar Carlos I don't know yeah yeah. he was the one that they did blow about. I might have made that up blow was the. guy on the island that he went to visit.

Johnny Depp the guy with the blue eyes. that had the machine guns and [ __ ] well. this guy his name is caros Le there yes. it is car caros Le there Carlos Le there. got his sentence reduced he got like 900. years knocked off a sentence he still. got 1,400 more to do he's the one that. went to the government and said dog I. gave Fidel envelopes face to face wow. and Carlos L there how they nailed him. was he was actually getting cameras like. Brian does setting him around a room he. get a plate blow he sit there naked with.

a towel on and just do bumps and every. once in a while he go like this a chick. come and suck his dick he smack him he. do more. blow and he just tell poetry all day and. finally they got the Meine cartel got. their hands on this and they were like. this can't happen get Bush on the phone. Bush we got something for you right I'll. tell you exactly where he is we're going. to email the tape to you really that's. how it end the cartel gave him up. exactly yeah because they couldn't take. that this guy was folding he's making. videos of himself naked sweating with.

his eyes this big doing blow for 24-Hour. pops [ __ ] Charlie Sheen this guy was. naked doing bumps and and and you know. saying him talking about Luna you know. stars in the. mountains and then he would go all and. the chick would come and suck his dick. and he would like shoot her they would. just shoot her on tape and they just. keep you see him pulled her by her. ankles and [ __ ] she'd be bleeding. [ __ ] and then he' do more blow I wish I. was lying to you this guy was killing.

people on tape doing blow just sweating. not eating for. days brilliant [ __ ] and then they one of. the mealine cartel got this and they're. like we can't have this they went and. got him and brought him back they still. have those pictures of him on the plane. next to the Marin and he's just looking. around like what the [ __ ] did I do he. knew exactly he turned him in holy [ __ ]. did you see Co you saw Cocaine Cowboys. right yeah you know that woman what's. her name gazela. she's out she's back in colia man they.

got pictures of her in colia at the. airport hanging out free and this the. the movie Just detail after detail how. many people she had killed wow that that. [ __ ] the the Godmother I think they. call her Griselda she made so much money. hundreds and hundreds of millions of. dollars in Coke money man she was. killing people left and right they got. this guy who's her Hitman who's in jail. and they interview him in jail and he's. just telling him all the different times. Griselda made me kill kill this guy so I. had to go do some business and I killed. this guy I had to do some business and I.

said I wouldn't do that because they. wanted me to do a driveby and there was. a baby in the car like whoa those. [ __ ] Colombians they used to shoot. anything bro there's a picture if you go. on Daily News archives 1984 a Colombian. family in Brooklyn got slaughtered wow. the the room for the Wake was 14 bodies. and there was 12 kids and they sat the. kids down two to 12 and put bullets in. them in their [ __ ] forehead oh my God. the pictures just they don't show the. bodies but they show the funeral paa and.

just a row of [ __ ] bodies these. Colombians and over nothing this is in. the 80s when they were shooting you over. $2 just to make that point you know you. almost [ __ ] money we're going to. shoot you that was the big thing about. them right the Colombians were always. thought to be the most like Colombian. necktie cut your [ __ ] throat out pull. your tongue out they wanted they wanted. an intimidation at the maximum people. are [ __ ] Savages bro and that's right. next door to us buddy that's that's just. like what's going on in Mexico that's. happening right now in a bigger even. bigger scale you know because the.

Colombians even though they had like. they were selling drugs and they were. bringing drugs in they weren't getting. that much resistance from their. government you know what I mean it was. kind of corrupt government was part of. their action yeah it was kind of corrupt. but in Mexico it's not the same man. Mexico they get a lot of resistance but. it doesn't matter they're still doing it. they're still doing it so it's scarier. because it's more like it's more like. militaristic you know what's the. expression in. Spanish plumo PLO or Plata that's the. expression bro that's a a finish that's.

a finish from the rubber guard plomo or. plat PL no this called either bullets or. money which one they just show up in. your which one's bullets uh plomo plomo. is bullets yeah Plata is Cash PL is cash. plomo or Plata they just show up at your. house put a gun down with an envelope. plomo or Plata that should be a new rap. song which one you want to. choose [ __ ] that's how they would. col mean this uh poor [ __ ] girl who.

was remember that girl was trying to be. a sheriff in uh some town in uh near. Warz remember that [ __ ] she was 20 years. old it a big story because this is. college girl decided she's going to. [ __ ] get a a job as a sheriff and try. to clean up the town within months this. poor girl is trying to seek asylum in. America cuz they're trying to kill her. Oh They'll slice your [ __ ] throat. they cut you up little you're either in. or you're out though there's no there's. no coming back there's no oh no no. that's a different Society this isn't uh. it's terrifying man this isn't.

uh it's terrifying [ __ ] you know it's. terrifying that it's terrifying that we. not doing anything about it but yet. we're [ __ ] around in Libya hey bro. 1984 December 12th of 1984 I was minding. my business or 83 I was minding my. business in snow MK Village I didn't. know nothing about nothing I was just. snorting coke and going to school at. night and I just had an electrician's. job and I heard this baboom and I didn't. know what happened I just went to bed. the next they were telling me a story. about this drug dealer named Steven gybo. he got in a [ __ ] car went to start it.

up and they put a bomb under his [ __ ]. car in Aspen Colorado damn some white. dude and and I asked around and in the. papers he was about to go on trial for. tax evasion he was a Jewish guy that was. in with the Columbia.