Joe Rogan Experience #393 - Tom Segura

hello sweet freak [ __ ] from. space we are. here we are queer get used to it. remember that we here we're queer get. used to it yeah like all right Jesus I. mared about 10 of those problem with. that is what about all the people that. were used to it you know you have to get. all [ __ ] aggro I'm happy for you here. here I'm I'm used to it I'm used to it. do you really have to yell outside my. window though as you walk by with a. million of your.

friends you know if you live in San. Francisco and you're on that [ __ ]. Parade route boy that that route is. that's the one too our here don't plan. on taking a nap that day West Hollywood. West Hollywood one is is on and it might. be the bigger one West Hollywood might. be the biggest gay spot San Francisco. still has the reputation as the biggest. gay spot but how can it [ __ ] with how. could it [ __ ] with Hollywood there's. more people here man and that area is. all gay there's no one area in San. Francisco where it's all gay yeah.

you know there's areas in San Francisco. where there's a lot of gay folks that. live but like West Hollywood is that one. stretch of Santa Monica Boulevard with. all the gay bars and all they just own a. a neighborhood that and that [ __ ] is. it's on locked it's like Mafia run. absolutely oh yeah and if you go. anywhere near there be prepared to suck. a dick cuz someone's going to stuff it. in your mouth I mean it's going to. happen there's only way one way to find. out let's uh go to both of them like be. Joe Rogan questions everything for the. gay gay parades.

definitely [ __ ] do that you should go. you should go in like uh some real BDSM. like leather [ __ ] with a [ __ ] chain. St I don't want to question that. absolutely but I feel like um I don't. know dude I think wow there are. neighborhoods CU isn't wasn't what's the. neighborhood in San Francisco I just. handed something that says move over New. York San Francisco and Los Angeles. Columbus Ohio is now the nation's number. one gay City oh yeah is that true yeah. that's a move I mean if you're gay and.

you're on a budget why [ __ ] around you. can get a really nice spread in Columbus. you know yeah I mean why the [ __ ] would. you want to pay La prices for a house La. prices for houses are goddamn ridiculous. they are so stupid and the money in this. city too that you like you don't like m. i rent rent a place I rent a house uhhuh. the house across from me just. sold and it's sold for like 850 which. I'm like wow that's a lot of money man 8.

they tearing it down the tear down. started yesterday and they're going to. put up some Jam right but I'm saying. that's the money that like it puts into. my mind where I go Jesus is like not. only do I not like is an $850,000 house. just out of my league I'm like that's a. nice goal to get to they're like no we. got it I'm tear that [ __ ] down and I'm. going to build some [ __ ] I want so you. spent $ 850 just to get the the lot of. land [ __ ] the house now I'm going to. spend money to build my house well you. know what Arnold did he lived in the. Palisades he bought the neighbor and.

then just leveled his house and said I. want a yard wow that's [ __ ] he bought. like a $4 million house and just [ __ ]. leveled it that's wow that's [ __ ]. he's like I want the place to kick my. ball I mean he didn't even buy it like. move his mom in or something you know I. need grass man he just leveled that. [ __ ] he didn't want to have family. closer no no thank you that just puts us. see that takes us another level yeah. that's super balling we're supposed to. do commercial but at this point just.

feels like we shouldn't do commercials. we just keep doing what we're doing but. I have a certain amount of week on I. guess I have to do run your spot you. know what I'll do I'll just shove them. all in tomorrow [ __ ] commercials no no. commercials at all I'll shove them all. in tomorrow and uh tomorrow we got Matt. fultron that should be a badass podcast. full charges in the house and then on. Wednesday we got Kathleen Madigan oh. snap old school alltime wom's great I. put her top 10 alltime women comedian of. all time and people like you shouldn't.

do that you shouldn't categorize uh men. and women like but you do so there you. go so tough [ __ ] there's alltime black. guys there's alltime white guys alltime. drunk guys everybody gets alltime gay. guys who's on your alltime drunk list. stov number one for sure not even close. he not even a close second AEL is number. two when he was in his prime yeah when. AEL was in his prime and he was out. there [ __ ] hammering it on a regular. he was hammering it. hard God he he and and he's a brilliant. brilliant comedian on top of that he has. he has some of the he has lines that are.

in our lexicon like my personal one you. know what I mean like he had a joke one. time about puppies and he was like. puppies pu uppies and just he always. said like silly [ __ ] to this day I still. say pu uppies he did a um an an album he. recorded it at The Comedy Works in. Denver SK for the memories yeah one of. my all-time favorites and one of the. reasons why I want to record my next. special there I mean I have to call. Wendy and ask her if she's cool with it. my next Comedy Central special I want to.

record in Denver that's [ __ ] right. and I want to record in that little spot. because that club I I don't think it. seats even 300 people right is it about. 250 perhaps the downtown one is probably. I would say it's probably just under 300. and then the other one is much larger. the other one is a little over 400 yeah. yeah but that one is perfect that one. downtown it's like the perfect Comedy. Club it's like literally impossible to. get a better Club it's fantastic. everybody's locked in their seats the. seats don't move all over the place like.

you're in your spot that's your spot. Boom the table's welded to the [ __ ]. floor this is that's and because of that. they've gotten all these people in and. it's plenty of room like to enjoy a show. but everyone has their own little table. it's a dope setup Wendy's a badass [ __ ]. she's bad [ __ ] she's badass and. I call her a [ __ ] with all due respect. I love her she's a very nice person. she's one of the reasons why I moved to. Colorado in the first place she knows. how to run a club man well I knew she. had a real Community I was like if I'm. going to live somewhere outside of uh LA. and still do stand up I need to go to a.

real community and the thing about. Colorado is they're really [ __ ]. around there there is a lot of people. there that are trying out [ __ ] there's a. lot of people there that are you know. there's there's good comedy they're like. developing their own good real comedy. way before comedy I did comedy that was. my number one choice for college really. Denver University yeah it's so beautiful. I didn't get in you seen all the. floodings there it's crazy dude dude. like roads washed away completely five. people dead hundreds missing hundreds of.

people are unaccounted for yeah all my. friend's basements are flooded like yeah. well we saw some people on the Rogan. board they posted photos and I I saw. some on CNN some other different places. it's insane man it's really crazy [ __ ]. look at that look at that look at that. giant chunk of Street missing there was. a video that they had online that had. this giant chunk of Street just wash. away in front of these people and their. cars fell into it and they were videoing.

like the waterfall smashing into these. cars it was like what that used to be a. street just 10 minutes ago what was. happening there where I feel like didn't. we we knew floods were coming like there. was like really yeah I thought there was. like news about these floods coming do. you remember that or no I don't know I. don't pay attention until it's too late. I'm like what a there's a typhoon in. Japan sucks yeah there's a typhoon. that's going to hit Fukushima oh [ __ ]. they're already releasing radioactive. rainwater into the ocean what they call. lowlevel radiation it's a low LEL would.

you go to Japan you've been to Japan I. don't want to go anymore because of that. yeah I think that that situation look. obviously I'm an idiot and obviously I'm. paranoid so take those two things into. account but I'm worried about what. happens if while you're there another. earthquake hits yeah what if you know. what if there's another earthquake it. hits while you're there and they get hit. with another [ __ ] tsunami you know. look that if it happened once just a. couple years ago it can happen again of. course and I think that sit situation is.

very unstable like they're coming up. with all these unique and novel ways to. try to contain the radioactive water M. like for folks who don't understand it. and I'm one of them but I'm going to. reiterate some [ __ ] that somebody said. that does understand it what they were. basically saying is you can't cool that. [ __ ] down you have to continue to pump. water on it in order to try to cool that. area down it's already melted through. its containment area so the radioactive. waste is already somehow or another in. the ground so there's that M you and. then there's they're pouring millions of.

gallons of water on that thing millions. and millions and millions and a lot of. it is seeping right back into the ocean. so you're getting all this intense. radiation entering into the ocean at. unprecedented levels in mankind there's. literally never been an a moment in. humankind where the Earth had a spill. like this where we radiated an ocean. most that stuff that's on land is much. more containable like Chernobyl is more. containable it's a [ __ ] up place the.

it's a dark dark situation in Chernobyl. but it's in Chernobyl this [ __ ] is going. to go over the whole ocean it's getting. out there and it's floating and people. are like yeah man you're [ __ ] you. know you're being a prophet of Doom you. know and you you don't even really know. and you're talking all this crazy yes. you're right but I might be reading like. really I'm not reading like any crazy. you know uh conspiracy news sites that. are giving me this information I'm I'm. reading like pretty much all the main. sites no one is saying it's going to be.

okay I I haven't heard anybody that says. relax about Fukushima everything's going. to be cool they don't know they're. trying to build a giant hole in the. ground and they're going to stick these. cones all around it and then freeze. these cones to make a wall of ice so. they have to have all this radioactive. water contained in this [ __ ] enormous. several mile wide containment area just. to try to for water just radioactive.

water that they're pouring on these rods. to try to cool it off again I don't know. exactly if that's how works this has to. affect uh Seafood from that area too. right they've already shown a 3% rise in. the radiation of some fish really and. that just happened I mean this is we. talking about a couple years consume. that though uh it takes a while to get. to us it might even not even get to us. for a year or so but a year so they. might be telling you hey it's probably. not the best idea to go in the water. that's real like you're talking about a.

massive spill that doesn't end and it's. going to be like that for hundreds of. thousands of years and I've had people. like tweet me about this and they're. like well it's all diluted and you have. to realize how big the ocean is and. you're totally right absolutely it's Pro. I'm probably looking at it wrong I'm. probably being an alarmist but it's. never going to stop leaking do you get. that yeah it's never going to stop what. might not be a horrific catastrophe. today could easily be one 50 years from. now if they can ever never get it to.

stop like part of the reason why people. aren't freaking out is because we always. have this optimism about like human. Ingenuity is that we're going to figure. out a way we're going to figure out a. way we're going to figure out a way yeah. we're not going to figure out a way with. that okay the nuclear thing is a weird. thing it's a weird thing because it does. work most of the time and everybody. wants to stress that like listen you're. being an alarmist about nuclear power it. does work most of the time but people. have only been alive for how long what. is the is it 100,000 years or something.

like that let's say a million in this. form right let's say we've been around a. million years in the last 100 we've made. three spots where you can never go. again as long as they've been human. beings alive that's how long into the. future it's likely that area is going to. be radiated what are the three Chernobyl. Four Mile Island and then this one. Fukushima those are those are those. three spots are gone we don't own those. spots anymore the universe owns those.

spots physics own those spots the the. insanity of atomic power own those spots. and it's is very weird situation where. nobody wants to admit that that's a. striking number three in the 60 plus. years that it's been active three places. are useless what is a what's a thousand. years from now you mean just take the. time and do the math you can't stop it. like unless you come up with some insane. new technology that figures out a way to. contain that radiation you're always.

going to deal with a really bizarre. problem a problem in that if you use it. you make the area around you unsafe for. life forever for 100,000 years I mean. what is a 100,000 years you can't even. wrap your head around that I know there. was no civilization 100,000 years ago. zilch none nothing everybody agrees even. Graham Hancock agrees all even the the. craziest theorists about backdating. civilization they all go 100,000 years. ago oh Jesus yeah we were [ __ ]. throwing Spears that you know wooden.

sticks that we sharpened at the end we. probably didn't know how to use fire yet. dud imagine life here hundred years ago. Dude there was no language a 100,000. years ago they think language is 40,000. years old really yeah it was all just. just grunting points and [ __ ] and. showing by example and screaming there'. be some really successful. Comics yeah it would be like The Best. Time Ever for a lot of comics there's no. words man we don't even need any.

[Music]. words that um it's it's hard to believe. that we're willing to gamble that we're. going to fix that do you ever read about. how many I I was fascinated by how many. languages go extinct like every year wow. there's languages that you know there's. obviously like the huge languages that. millions and even billions of people. speak but then every year there are. languages that they're trying to. preserve by continuing to speak them and.

you know people learn the language just. to have it like an endangered species. and then it just goes away yeah I saw an. article recently on this guy who was. like the last guy to know this language. really and they yeah they had studied. this dude and he had tried to. communicate it with them then he [ __ ]. died yeah that's and that's what it. happens with a lot of the Native. cultures like Native American tribes. that had a specific language and they're. like they pass along pass along and then. you know it becomes like not important. or not cool to pass the language like. it's not useful yeah and then fewer and.

fewer people speak it like they found. languages I think even in South America. of like in like in the jungles that they. thought like this group and language had. ex you know gone whatever extinct. forever and found that they're still. living you know in the jungles it's you. know I don't know anything but English. but you know Spanish you speak Spanish. fluently yeah pretty well well I've seen. you talk to people pretty pretty fluid. yeah especially to me that doesn't speak. anything so how much different are those. two as a language like you have to think.

differently right that's what the that's. the reason why like a lot of people who. are from another country make the same. mistakes over and over again whether. it's German people Brazilian people a. lot of them make the same kind of. mistakes it's because the whole. structure of sentences is different it's. true yeah like there you like in Spanish. you say. something uh like you know you say. chocolate milk in English and there you. would say milk of chocolate right that's. how you say that so oh you say but so.

like if you're if you're trying to do. literal translations sometimes the way. that you would say it you have to. reconstruct it but it it comes easier to. you if you're hearing it all the time. like when I used to hear. Spanish every day I mean you know for. the first 18 years of my life because. that's what my mom spoke so it becomes. you you realize like the way to say that. it's it's automated ever does it ever. [ __ ] with your English did it [ __ ] with. your English as a kid like did you like.

mix up the wrong like would accidentally. use like a Spanish word for it or. accidentally say something in a way that. you would say English but you said it in. Spanish I think that came more when I. was learning to speak more like for the. for the longest time my mom spoke. Spanish to us and we just spoke English. to her so it was always a two language. weird yeah and she spoke I mean she said. everything in Spanish and we replied. completely in English and she completely. understood us and we completely. understood her but our speaking Spanish.

wasn't as good and her speaking English. wasn't as good but then she started well. my parents sent like me to spend my. summers in Peru and then that's when it. greatly like cuz you already understand. so much cuz you were exposed to it uhuh. and then you're forced to speak it but. you when you're forced to speak it to. everybody it it gets way better what did. you do in Peru I would go to school like. I would just cuz our summers are there. winners so like my uh I have a ton of. cousins and stuff I would say with one. aunt and an ancle I can't even speak.

English right now aunt and uncle uncle. yeah and they had three boys that were. like my age basically so I would go. there go to school and just [ __ ] around. I mean we would just you know you're. just 12 13 14 years old just you know. living in Lima and then they would come. to United States one by one for their. Summers to get better at English wow. yeah so we would take turns at each. other's they say that's one of the best. ways to improve your mind. really yeah that you learning other.

languages and speaking in other. languages and that also um when you. start to dream yeah in in those. languages that yeah that happens yeah. that happened when I was in college I. just I went to spend a semester in Spain. and at that point I had already I. already spoke pretty pretty well and. then I started to do like college term. papers in Spanish you know where you're. writing right 20 Page papers for a class.

on comparative economics in Spanish. Jesus Christ son and then at that point. I mean my Spanish now is not nearly as. good as it was like the the year after I. left Spain or that I was there and that. whole year after cuz it was other level. I Dre I was dreaming in Spanish wow it. was my first thoughts came to me in. Spanish you know like because it was. just so much and at such a high level. every day how long do you think it would. take you if you were immersed in a. Spanish culture to start speaking like. that again I think um I think a couple.

years would I would be I mean I could go. I speak to people now in Spanish and. they ask me what country I'm from so. they get confused they get confused. who's this weird [ __ ] here's the. weirdest thing and I know it's funny. like it's if people who speak Spanish. know exactly what I'm talking about I. don't speak Spanish I speak Spanish like. a South American and you would you would. know that it's probably from Colombia or. Peru that area cuz there's very specific. little accent details just like here.

when someone's from New York from Boston. you know someone's from Texas you know. you you you pick up even someone from. Maryland you know someone even like. specifically Baltimore has a very. specific accent so when you speak. Spanish it's the same deal right you. pick up on these little details right. and people who are native Spanish. speakers will go oh are you from. Argentina to me all the time even though. I have nothing of an Argentine accent. but they do it because I look like I. could I'm more from Argentina than I am.

from Peru isn't that interesting so. they're they're associating what they. see and not what they hear well. Argentina is more like Spain whereas. Peru is more like Mexico look the like. features wise there's a way bigger. native Indian population in Peru in Peru. way more and there's a there's a white. like Caucasian population too it's just. a great minority in Argentina it's the. opposite didn't a lot of go down there.

when [ __ ] yeah yeah they did right yeah. they there and the most famous of all. extractions um what the story The House. on galdi street is about I like how you. say that yeah like that galdi the um. ikeman uh oh yeah ikan moved to buen. oitis and he was living in a house and. he had his family there right his wife. his kids one of his kids told told. somebody in school about like as a.

secret told a girl he was dating about. the truth of his family oh no the girl. ratted him out wow and what Israel did. which is like considered unacceptable. when you talk about the way that. countries interact with one. international standards and you know. treaties and the way that we all have. kind of a diplomatic process that we go. about is they came in and Jason Bourne. Style took that [ __ ] kidnapped.

him flew him back to Israel and was like. we got this guy and they were like what. like that kind of [ __ ] you know instead. of trying to go about hey we want to go. for a whole uh. extradition they came in snagged him. brought him back yeah the the israelies. don't play [ __ ] no man no they don't. play when it comes to that [ __ ] either. uh-uh some girl had I mean it's a kind. of a [ __ ] up story but some girl was a. photographer and she had gone to uh the. West Bank and she took some photographs. and when she was going through Israeli.

Customs some of the photographs were. like of spray paint graffiti and one of. them said like [ __ ] the Jews oh [ __ ] so. the dude puts her laptop down on the. ground he goes I'll be right back he. takes a gun comes back and shoots the. [ __ ] laptop wow shot the laptop and. gave it back to her the bullet hole in. it. wow and she was like what the [ __ ] I'm a. photographer I saw this I took it's I'm. talk taking pictures of Chaos you know. she's a Jew by the way she's a Jew yes.

she was a Jew. Jesus they don't [ __ ] play man [ __ ]. the Jews oh okay we'll be right back. clearly there's no explaining it either. like no here's the thing like they're. like n they just took it it's over. do that's like then the guy handed it to. her did you see that guy do that online. the the dad what did he do his daughter. has nothing to do with like racism or. anything but his daughter was. complaining about her parents on. Facebook oh God and like [ __ ] these.

chores they think I'm like their slave. like telling me I have to do all these. chores so the guy is like been she had. her her uh Facebook page locked so like. her family couldn't see it well her. dad's like a software guy and he's like. you forgot like what I do for a living. right he made a video he's like so I saw. what you said so you think we mistreat. you you're a slave in this house okay. well here's your laptop I just spent a. few hundred upgrading it and he puts it. on the ground he just he empties like a. 45 and to it oh my God he's like I'm.

going to put this on your Facebook page. so all your friends can see this [ __ ]. like extreme yeah but he was like Daddy. don't play holy [ __ ] he shot it in of. her no he just shot it in a video so. that she would see it on her Facebook. page oh like her laptop when she got. home from school I got confused I. thought he was doing it in front of her. no no no no no he did it like like as a. you know a message to her that she did. so she would go online later and see. that on her own on her own Facebook page. yeah this is it yeah yeah oh you know.

what man first of all I think this guy. understands he's putting his daughter. out there like that it's shaming her. it's humiliating it's it's a douchy. thing to do you're raising a human being. it's you don't do that in front of the. whole [ __ ] world by shaming them. humiliation has a pretty profound effect. it does man and it's intense and it's. unnecessary the guy's a father yeah you. know that said it's pretty funny it's I. mean I don't recommend you but if you do. it I'll watch the video uh it's probably. gu's a [ __ ] though he's a [ __ ].

um but I imagine that she stopped. posting she like you might not even know. he's a [ __ ] you know because part of. raising a kid I don't want to sound like. Dr Oz but part of raising a kid. is W just shooting the laptop 1 2 3 four. 5 six oh yeah and after that comment you. you made about your mom your mom told me. to be sure I put one there for her so. that one's from her oh my God sh that's. that's rednecks with guns. now I'm.

out all right wow that's disturbing that. guy's a knucklehead that's that guy's a. serious knucklehead he might not even. know he's a knucklehead people think. that when that you're raising a child. that you're supposed to you know that. somehow or another their development. isn't your responsibility you know they. just want you to grow up on your own. they don't want to sort of guide you. along the way and explain in a in a nice. healthy way why what you're doing is. incorrect and here's where we're really.

coming from you know and people just. work they work and they leave their kids. alone and then when they get home. they're tired they stick them in front. of the TV and then they wonder why this. girl is ranting and raving and saying. stupid [ __ ] a lot of the reason why kids. say stupid [ __ ] is just because they're. getting older they're getting a mind of. their own they think they got it all. figured out yet or now but a lot of it. is also because they're being raised by. morons that shoot computers you know. right and what effect is the computer. shooting really going to have long like. the guy's a [ __ ] that's a [ __ ] move.

she's going to have a gun you know like. she's going to think that you she could. just shoot laptop well she might shoot. him man yeah dude that guy's a dick. that's that's a dick move to not just do. that to do that's a dick move to put it. on her [ __ ] Facebook that's a super. dick move yeah or she might learn that. like the way to handle like somebody. upsetting you is to shoot their [ __ ] too. mean exactly my daddy told me not to. take no Guff so my daddy told me how to. get back in a [ __ ] a 45 yeah.

I'll shoot your [ __ ] football yeah. light [ __ ] up and you're like wow you're. kind of the wrong chick for me I think. those wild redneck [ __ ] yeeh those. West Virginia girls F get some. [Laughter]. dick you see that the Wild and that's. right you gave me that my favorite part. of that whole movie is uh like one of. the I don't know one of the [ __ ]. absolute disasters of that family is. like this right here she's like I got.

these Xanax got them for like six bucks. a piece roll down the street sell them. for eight bucks a piece little boot. scooting Boogie right there like make. some money like that's you're you're. selling it for $2 more well that's all. you can get right but she's like make. cash today that's how we do that's how. we do we got 16 bucks now [ __ ] yeah. there's not much uh there's not much. room there that shit's incredible plus. if you go to jail like all your profits. are going to get eaten up by by. attorneys and your court fees you're.

going to be out of work but they're. never out of work cuz they're never. working which is hilarious that's the. best part yeah when they talk to the. politician if the the Wild and wonderful. Whites of West Virginia I believe Johnny. Knoxville um directed it or produced or. something along his his company I think. produced that movie yeah and he just was. embedded he was embedded in their their. lifestyle and he got a chance to see. them like for real legit 100% where they. are and they're awesome and people like. that's so depressing no. you can decide it's suppressing or you.

can decide it's like the a human Zoo. that's awesome yeah it's. like there's a point you're watching. that movie and you go there's no way it. can continue like there's no way there's. another character after this in your. family and that's about 10 minutes. in just keep going it's just and then. like an hour in you're like you've got. to be [ __ ] me right now and the next. guy and then I shot him in this chest. and you're like what the [ __ ] how about. that one dude who had escaped the state.

he moved up to Minnesota he has family. he just sitting there they're all. sitting around drinking going man. they're just too [ __ ] crazy yeah he. had to get out of there too [ __ ]. crazy yeah he does not belong like. that's that's that's good that he left. he's the black sheep he's the guy with a. job and a family like he looked like all. responsible he the [ __ ] in that. family they're like he's a [ __ ]. [ __ ] cuz he got his [ __ ] together and. left yeah he's a [ __ ] look at him he. w't sell out yeah he he going sell out. go ahead. go ahead work for your money but he had.

a story too it was he had done at least. one or two crazy things I think right. like he did at least one he did a g of. crazy [ __ ] if you don't believe that. this movie is rid you think we're. exaggerating you just got to hear this. woman Bobby Sue talk oh if you see if. you can find Bobby Sue from Wild and. wonderful wests it's it's Bobby Sue. right wasn't there suob suob suob my. name's Sue Bob they call I'm the sexy. one of the family you're like and she's.

being serious they're all she's kind of. sexy in a kind of a crazy way yeah yeah. a little bit it it'd probably the one. you'd want little mugga moonshine if. those were your options I think you. wouldn't be too if you were living up. there and that was your life and you're. selling pills for two bucks over for a. living and wants to throw down like hold. on let me put the posum away oh yeah. they are [ __ ] epic disasters yeah and. no I don't wish they were like this.

absolutely I wish that they were uh. really nice people who are normal oh. that's that's the not the. one when I was 17 18 19 years old and. the and money I'd bring home least $15. to $2,000 a night in my boot and uh I've. always been a sexist one in the family I. always had T from thousands of people. thousands would you you. you got to do what you got to do if.

you're trapped in West Virginia and. you're on a horse and there's no way out. you got to do what you got to do I've. always been the sexiest one in my family. Jesus she looked like a female version. of world pool Champion Johnny. Archer is he the sexiest one in pool yes. yeah and she's the sexiest one in the. family don't hate it just is what it is. man yeah always always been a sexy want. her voice is like it's it makes you. wonder if life is real it makes you. wonder if like when you see that or you.

see uh Grizzly Man or yeah any of it. makes you wonder man that clip also lets. you know it makes you wonder if life can. affect your voice you know what I mean. like cigarettes yeah but I mean like. that has imagine the impact that's had. her voice was not always like that no it. couldn't have been right no way no way. man that is a long that's a lot of. sleepless nights that's a lot of being. up till 5:00 a.m. that's that's two. minimum like two packs pills just that's.

hard living what are you talking about. don't be scared don't be scared [ __ ]. but don't act like you don't think I'm. SX someone sounds like a [ __ ] and then. there's the mom oh who runs everything. yeah that Mom is badass boots goat and. boogy that's her she's the one dealing. what was her name [ __ ] I don't remember. man I don't remember that was a goddamn. good movie and yeah I agree it's. depressing but it is it's out there it. is what it is I always talk about Stevie. you saw Stevie Stevie the documentary no.

what's that it's super it's hilarious. but it's also like there's people are. like dude this is a bummer I'm like it's. still hysterical what's it about it. follows this guy Stevie who the. filmmaker actually was like a big. brother to him in like the Big Brother. program or something and goes back and. revisits him like 20 years later wow and. he is like he belongs in the whites West. Virginia family you know he's one of. those guys and like he gets it's he's.

[ __ ] [ __ ] I mean there's no other. like do you have a Stevie clip this is. the only thing that came up as Stevie oh. really that's not it though def acting. this is not acting you're talking about. a real no no no it's the same guy that. made hoop dreams did you ever see hoop. dreams it's a really good documentary. never saw that either it's a really good. documentary yeah I heard it was really. good fantastic there's so many films. that I never get to man yeah oh me too. have the time me too I'm like married to. few of them and then I don't really even.

there's so many out there that are so. good is this it this let's see just very. solitary not involved with other people. a whole lot he grew up there is abused. and neglected that's kind of the the MMO. for somebody who molests. kids there he is you got to look at it. really cold because if you start looking. at the human individuals and well yeah. this he's really not that bad of a guy. well one of look at the victim you know. the victim is wasn't that bad of a.

person either I mean you've given him. chances in the past and now he's got. himself in a load of trouble and you. give him another. chance that guy's a smooth. talker yeah so you you think Steve's. innocent no cuz he said he told me what. he did do but I mean he's going to he's. already enough with that stuff being. added he went after his sister daughter. his. niece yeah oh Jesus they might call you.

as a. witness if this goes to trial you know. this isn't the funniest clip actually. yeah the buzz let's talk about the. floodings in Japan now not so here's the. thing when I talk about the funny stuff. in this movie before you think I'm. insane it's because of like the little. things like you know before it all goes. down like he's he's like they call me. snake cuz I ain't afraid of them you. know they always call me snake go to. glasses TV and you're like no one before. everything went down you know before it.

gets like C like before he gets arrested. and stuff and they're just following him. around and like is that him on the left. wearing that tie-dye shirt yes yes and. that's the kind of the [ __ ] I'm saying. that you laugh at like you just he's. over here go ahead and get it here well. your sister's. discount one he's just a [ __ ] we. didn't get it either idiot you know I. know oh man who the [ __ ] would leave. that guy alone with your kid yeah it's a. great great question oh what a piece of.

[ __ ] he's a spectacular piece of [ __ ]. pieces of [ __ ] that molest kids man. that's a that's a real special piece of. [ __ ] it's like yeah oh yeah this the. recidivism rate is so high and the. amount of [ __ ] up inness you have to. have going on to do that is so high. that's a really bad one that's one. that's really hard to forgive and that's. that's too is like um you know even when. they um give in to. like acknowledging what they did wrong. if you give them the space to justify it.

they will did you hear this Dawkins. quote Dawkins gotten a lot of trouble. for talking about mild pedophilia no was. really weird man really what' he say um. hold on I'll find it for you um he uh he. said that there's if as long as it's not. it's just mild touching up that your. psychology um uh would uh would erase it. here let me remark provokes outrage yeah. he's like your mind would protect you.

from it as long as it was just mild. touching up you know it's really weird. the the the quote is really weird he. says that he experienced mild pedophilia. in English school when he was a child in. the 1950s referring to his early days at. boarding school in Salsbury he recalled. how one of the unnamed Masters pulled me. on his knee and put his hand inside my. shorts he said other children in his. school peer group had been molested by.

the same teacher but concluded I didn't. think he did any of us lasting harm I'm. very I'm very conscious that you can't. condemn people of an earlier era by the. standards of ours just as we don't look. back at the 18th and 19th centuries and. condemn people for racism in the same. way we would condemn a modern person for. racism I looked back a few decades into. my childhood and I see things like. canning like mild pedophilia and can't. find it me to condemn it by the same. standards as I or anyone would today he.

said that's interesting W I think that's. kind of uh it you know I mean I'm it's. very brave of him to say because it's. very it's very uh controversial. obviously yeah I mean I I don't totally. disagree with him as far as holding. people to different eras of different. standards yes I don't think that he. should be the one necessarily to comment. on how that might have affected some of. his classmates though you know when he. says like I don't think we any of us. were really. um too affected by that I mean you don't.

know that some of those guys might have. been completely traumatized by that and. qu you know quite honestly some people. would say that he's been damaged by it. he just doesn't realize it absolutely. that you know maybe that would make. sense for why you know he's gotten into. some some of the situations that he's. gotten into some of the things that he. said in the past that have been fairly. controversial sure maybe it was about. this um you know but any but people. think it's like super irresponsible yeah. that's the the main rub anybody to go. out there and say oh it's not that big a.

deal for little pedophilia projecting. well yeah and well not only that but it. also could almost encourage mild. pedophilia as being nothing of course. and then you you do you go back to like. what I was saying where he the guy that. is doing this then justifi he's like I'm. not really like it's so minor I'm just. you know right now clearly he's saying. that this is a different era and he's. he's talking about a different era.

ER but still talk it a me to protect you. right from this kind of I'm gonna sneeze. sorry okay I felt the. co bless you man that was a you know. what happened I clean my nose hairs out. yeah I got a little nose hair trimmer. and sometimes they get some Strays up. there and you just can't resist those. sneezes when they're coming they're. coming oh yeah do you get did you get. that from light no but when I look at. light it'll make Snee yeah that's what. I'm saying yeah yeah yeah I knew it was.

coming and I had to stare at the light a. percentage of the population does that. really and like it's called Uh uh light. induced sneezing yeah oh that's. interesting so like I'm one of those too. where like and I've told people like. that about it and like and they're like. what the [ __ ] are you talking about and. they have no like you have never done. that never heard of that cuz if I would. be outside I would just be sneezing all. like crazy no but look it up like look. up like sunlight induced or light. induced sneezing you'll see that like. it's a like you like that too yeah yeah.

if you walk out of like a movie theater. you're oh [ __ ] like just F go CR yeah. every time so what people are saying I. mean people are really pissed at him and. this guy his name is Peter watt he's. director of the child protection and of. the National Society for the Prevention. of Cruelty to Children he said Dawkins. remarks were a terrible slight on those. who have been abused and suffer the. effects for decades Mr Dawan seems to. think that because a crime was committed. a long time ago we should judge it in a. different way watt said we know that. victims of sexual abuse suffer the same.

effects whether it was 50 years ago or. today yeah he's probably you know. correct I mean the the thing that you. have to examine is like Dawkin statement. and you have to I think you consider it. Case by case so I don't mean I don't. mean pedophilia Case by case I mean like. the whole idea about judging people. based on an era like right you know to. to a degree you kind of go well in a. certain era certain certain point of. view were allowed you know and but I. don't know that that really applies to.

pedophilia yeah it. doesn't it seems like that's always been. a really dark thing to do but what's. really [ __ ] up is when you go way back. to like the classics like if you go back. to you know like Socrates was gay like. there was a lot of guys back then that. were not just gay but took on young boys. as lovers right that was very common. amongst the samurai samurai took on. young boys as lovers that applies to. what he's saying right your examples are. are people in now this happens to be.

much longer time ago but it's well it's. very it's it's you know it's very. different when a person who's alive. today in the context of our society. right now speaks about pedophil as if. it's not that big a deal when it. happened to him yeah and someone talking. about like almost an imperceptible. difference yeah I mean not imperceptible. but inconceivable difference between the. way the culture of Japan in the 12th. century was and the culture of the.

United States in you know 2013 I mean. they're not even the same planet right. it's so hard to you're dealing with a. Japanese they have a completely. different language different culture and. there this is a long long long long long. [ __ ] time ago when people couldn't. even it took a long time to get anywhere. yeah you could get by boat or by horse. but for the most part people [ __ ]. Stood Still yeah and they they developed. their own culture sort of away from the. rest of the world and it's one of the. more fascinating aspects about it but. when you look back what is the common. theme the common theme in almost all.

these cultures is gay sex gay sex and. pedophilia like they did it throughout. Rome throughout the Greeks all the like. Spartans Were Gay Samurai like there was. so much gay sex like our idea of what. like sex is in. 2013 like we think that well back then. you know if you got locked up in prison. you had a [ __ ] a dude like no big deal. no no they were banging each other they. were banging everybody yeah like I want.

to know when people like settle down and. stop just [ __ ] guys all time there. was no there was no judgment about that. too so that was like Hey man dick's hard. you got an [ __ ] let's do it it's. almost like it was too hard to get. laidback then yeah you know and like. sometimes you just had to do what you. had to do I got to imagine that if you. go back far enough a lot of sexual. behavior went unchecked it was just you. were just acting on it you went into. whatever sex act you wanted desired that. like your your [ __ ] monkey brain was.

dictating and you didn't really think. about how you know like the way that. your culture looked upon it people just. did stuff right and then yeah that was. it and there was no I'm going to talk to. somebody about you made me uncomfortable. today like like you just did whatever. you wanted to do and there's no there's. no HR department back then in that way. like unchecked Civilization like that. clearly is a different form of. civilization yeah it's a different world. it's wild wild west type [ __ ] oh yeah to. to the [ __ ] umth power though when.

you talk about hundreds of years ago oh. yeah well when you get really. uming oh yeah or or the all of ancient. Europe yeah have you ever heard of Lady. B you ever heard of this [ __ ] evil. [ __ ] Elizabeth ba she was a uh a. royalty in uh 1560 in in Hungary. Hungary and this [ __ ] killed like they. don't even know how many women she. started getting as she got older she. started killing younger women she didn't.

want them around looking pretty sure she. would cut them up and torture them and. kill them and she killed hundreds of. them hundreds of pretty [ __ ] and they. didn't even kill her when it was over. they convicted her and put her in like a. room for life they just locked her in. this room Hungarian yeah well she's. royalty yeah so because of the fact that. she was royalty they just decided not to. kill her yeah the the the level of. brutality when you go back for like you. ever read about Vlad the Impaler yes I.

mean he would impale enemies and people. in his Camp who didn't like who he heard. spoke against him yeah and to impale. them and he would do it and sometimes. when you're impaled you know they could. it could go right through a vital artery. or organ and you'll die but there's a. lot of times when you can get impaled it. can literally Miss every vital artery. and organ and you bad out impaled just. in the Sun for a day holy [ __ ] with with.

a [ __ ] wooden rod up through your. [ __ ] going through your body and. coming out like your shoulder or mouth. and you're just bleeding I mean it's a. pretty gruesome way to go oh my god. there was a talk about a bad set there. was I think it was in. Persia uh steak in Persia hold on did. you see this picture of there's a story. there's a there's a story about these uh. people uh back in the Roman days where.

there was like miles of bodies on Stakes. to to warn people as they approached so. as these people approached I need to. find the the exact story but as these. people approached uh I guess there was. appro they're approaching Persia they. had miles of bodies on Stakes to let you. know like you're coming in here trying. to [ __ ] with us this is what we're going. to do to you yeah and get that stench. about 5 miles before you saw it you know.

you be like what is that smell man but. just the idea that people would do that. that they would just run rows and rows. and rows of bodies do you think that. that the only reason that doesn't go on. today is because there's like that. morally checking thing or because that. would suggest that there's like way more. either acceptance of that behavior or. there's just like like crazy iier. sociopaths just running [ __ ] all the. time you know well I think they probably.

are today I think it's it's it's way. they they're way better at like hiding. the more [ __ ] up things that people do. today and that would be like way out in. the open yeah you know like it's the. situation that's going on right now in. Syria where everybody is saying that. this is the most important thing that we. have to step up and we have to go and we. have to attack Syria cuz Syria has done. this thing and and these these people. have have died and these Innocents are. being poisoned there's no mention.

whatsoever in the mainstream news of the. irony of the guy who is the head of the. United States you know military the. commander-in-chief talking about. innocent people dying right I mean it's. kind of crazy right oh yeah you know. it's like this idea that there's a. certain amount of innocent people that. must die and those are okay right but. when innocent people die and this guy. did it it's really bad and especially. the way he did it right you know the way.

he did it with poison and we just we. can't take that that's we we're drawing. the line we're going to have to kill. some more people because that right. right and innocent people will die. because we have to protect innocent. people so we have to go in there this. guy killed innocent people we'll. probably kill way more innocent people. than a thousand if we went in there if. the Army the the United States Army went. unless Syria just said [ __ ] this and. they laid down their guns and went face. down and put their hands behind their. heads immediately someone's going to die. people are going to die it's crazy it's. like the idea behind it is like one of. the weirdest ideas ever well the the.

perspective you're talking about is is. pretty much purposely kept out of our us. kind of mainstream news they're not even. allowed to photograph coffins like that. was something that was passed during the. Bush Administration yeah you couldn't. take photos of coffins cuz yeah sure. that would have an impact yeah but how. but we can kill people but how insane is. that like it's okay to do that but the. reality of it should never get back home. because it could weaken morale yeah like. woo you're you're you're stomping. information like information is critical.

for people to understand the actual. parameters of the situation they're. involved in and if you change that. information or change how much of that. information gets out You' greatly alter. if you can't see evidence of it they're. not seeing bodies they're not seeing. they're not seeing the damage you're not. focusing on the bad stuff you're not. you're not being accurate you're giving. a really [ __ ] up version of what. you're talking about yeah governments. are good at that but that should be. illegal yeah that should be highly. illegal like to do that to say to.

someone you can't take a photograph of. something that's actually happening. because it the that idea behind it the. weakening of morale like that's crazy. yeah morale only weakens when it's. supposed to be weakened okay if we were. off there fighting werewolves and and. bodies were coming back like that we. would salute them and praise them in. their their their quest to save the. human race from the werewolves but they. died nobly we would celebrate them we. would [ __ ] have for them nobly. celebrate them but that's not what we're.

doing we're hiding them we're hiding the. photos we don't show them to anybody. yeah because the whole thing is chaos. and if you really boil it down is it was. it worth it that your child died to. promote this agenda no it's not it's not. it's not that's not the only way it. could have been done that's crazy to say. it's the only way it could have been. done is absolute bananas yeah to say I. hope the diplomatic strategy works out I. mean I hope so too but I mean I can't. believe that we're still committed to. [ __ ] years and years of war war in. 2013 just doesn't make any sense anymore. I know I know I know it's interesting.

too if you uh like cuz you really it. really is up to you to figure out. stories it you have to like it's. interesting to go to different sites to. see how they present the story the same. story oh yeah you know like if you go. you read CNN and then you read like if. you go to Drudge to see how they report. it and you go to like BBC Guardian Al. jazer you get the same story reported in. six different ways yeah you got to kind. of decipher that you got you have to you.

have to pick up on the fact and know. that everybody has a bias even when they. don't have a bias you know there's. builtin bias to every angle every story. oh yeah you have to be able to break. that down to whatever degree because you. have your own bias that wants to lean a. certain way right and you go this is the. story I'm I'm going to run with the one. that they this person reported and. that's a big one whenever you've got. anyone that's pushing a leftwing or a. right-wing agenda oh yeah whenever you. start hearing about what the Democrats. want to do is give everybody this take.

all your hard-earned money and like. you're like oh you're not even being. honest here you're just putting on this. puppet show yeah and you're probably. invested in winning this puppet show or. in making this puppet show very. convincing you got lobbyists that are. counting on you to get me to believe. your perspective on this right now for. sure they're filling up your pockets man. yeah what a ridiculous way to run a. government the idea that that's how we. run it all this money and influence. they're all always always only thinking. about their next election always don't.

worry we're thinking of you yeah I'm not. thinking of all this money all these. people that have this money that got me. into this position I don't think about. them I think about people I don't know. who hate me that's what I'm concerned. with yeah his [ __ ] his favorability. rating is like bush-like now it's like. is that that low now yeah it's pretty. low yeah let's find out let's Obama's I. know approval rating Obama's approval. rating yeah let's uh what was the worst. the worst yeah I bet the worst was.

probably I'm going to I'm going to guess. it was uh something like 80 years ago. and then Bush would be like second. that's my prediction first of all how. crazy is it that there's something. called the approval ratings oh yeah for. the. president okay here it is. 47% of likely us voters approve of. Obama's job performance okay I mean. that's 52%. disapprove okay that's not horrific it's.

definitely um it's definitely lower than. it's been right well listen to this. though 82% of the Democrats like the job. the president is. doing 85% of the Republicans and 50% 57%. of the voters not affiliated disapprove. okay come on man can you look Democrats. that that how how silly could you be to. say I think he's doing a great job yeah. yeah number one is Obama number two is. no number one is number one is Bush.

that's the lowest approval rating ever. see lowest approval. ratings his lowest approval was 25 Bush. yeah and what's the next lowest uh did. you remember when Bush's approval. ratings were [ __ ] high like right. after September 11th really high you. weren't even allowed to make fun of bush. you it was really high Truman Truman I. told you and then Nixon what's what was. Truman's down to. too okay this is the he's this is what. his approval rate is on foreign policy.

40% wow wow that's really low. man H I think Obama it's just like every. other thing that happens in this world. you probably go into it thinking that. you're going to change it and you're. going to fix it and did you think did. you have great president did you have. high hopes for him yeah yeah I mean I. think he's a brilliant man mhm you know. I don't I just don't know how much the. president honestly gets to I don't want.

to even speculate on how much of an. effect the president actually gets to to. push right how much you know how much. influence does this one human being. actually have you think a lot of it um. behind closed doors is like so here's. what's going to happen there's so much. money involved man you're talking about. people that run Banks you're talking. about people that demanded that they get. bailed out by the United States taxpayer. after [ __ ] the United States. taxpayers sideways into a point where.

the the economy eroded radically in all. businesses these people caused this and. they still got bonuses okay this these. people caused this and Obama went on TV. and said that they're going to get we're. going to we're going to. limit the amount of money that they. receive as a bonus to $500,000. a poultry sum for such Rich folk can you.

imagine even saying that as a statement. we're going to limit the bonuses of the. companies where we have to pay millions. of year dollars we're going to limit the. amount they steal to 500,000 we've put a. cap on it no go to bed and then I like. your Obama that's that might be one of. the nuttiest things that a guy has ever. said on television we're going to limit. the thieves yeah who've ruined the. economy yeah to a half a million dollar. bonus like oh got the people that we. asked to watch over hey you guys are the.

financial guys right please watch over. this [ __ ] thing with numbers because. I have kids and I got a job and I don't. have time to do this so do we have do we. have a guy yeah we've got a guy he went. to Harvard and then if you ever watch. that that documentary inside job you. ever watch that sure yeah holy [ __ ] and. it's not about 911 folks it's about it's. about the economy crash it's. unbelievable it's incredible and the guy. who is doing it is brilliant and he. catches these dudes and Corners them and. asks them questions and you see them.

squirm and panic and and then you find. out like that a lot of these guys that. were working in universities that were. responsible for these studies they would. leave the universities and get these. awesome jobs the banks whose policies. that they recommended promoted this sort. of like Freer range wild kamakazi. swashbuckling capitalism that cause all. these [ __ ] people to lose their homes. that causes these guys get job. working for those firms after they leave. so they're like Educators and they're.

like this should be no problem I see. this should be no problem and then they. they they pass all this [ __ ] I mean it's. the most obvious shell game of all time. it's it's so inyour face yeah yeah it. really is it's it's it's really look. it's kind of admirable you if you want. to look at it from a gangster point of. view I mean it's the most gangster [ __ ]. ever me we glorify gangster rap gangster. rap can't [ __ ] with Gangster banking no. gangster Wall Street is the most. gangster [ __ ] of all time they they've. done some gangster [ __ ] yeah and what. mean is that worse than the gangster.

[ __ ] that's been going on right now and. from the beginning of the Iraq War. that's pretty gangster too yeah you know. I mean that's this one one destroys. lives and financial Stakes the other one. kills lives it kills people it destroys. everything like how come that is that. that ganking that gangster ganking that. we saw how come that's like less. offensive than this financial gangster. ganking they're both pretty gangster. [ __ ] people up bad yes like it's it's. Madness man it's we are mad we're a mad.

mad mad race yeah and I think we're. getting less mad but we got to figure. this out man we can't just keep doing. this we can't just keep going to war. I've heard a lot of uh Financial people. lately say that like the the worst is. yet to come in in a coming soon kind of. way as far as like 08 collapse but. that's just going to go way further. downhill what I heard is that the. commercial real estate crash is a really.

dangerous one really I've heard that. one's a real dangerous one that. commercial like once you have. residential real estate crash like that. one there's a commercial one that's much. larger apparently allegedly I don't. understand it though so even me saying. that it's just [ __ ] I don't know. what keeps it up I don't know how the. [ __ ] they rescue the economy or did they. even rescue the economy you know should. the banks been allowed to fail who's. right Peter Schiff is Peter Schiff right. you know I don't know I don't understand. it I don't understand any of it I don't. know man I I'm definitely not the mind.

to put that together but it's it's. pretty bad I think you know what I know. for sure though this is not the only way. to do it right this is not the only way. to do it this whole stocks and bonds and. derivatives and like you guys have. created [ __ ] chaos you have a chaotic. system and that system is [ __ ] awful. it's like Windows NT from like 1997. Windows me and you go inside of it start. [ __ ] with the registry and and like.

you don't know what the [ __ ] is in this. crazy economy the amount of influence. that affects the politicians which. affects the laws being passed which. affects the judges being elected which. affects the decisions being made that. literally change the entire scope of the. nation and it's all motivated by money. yeah yeah it is and the other thing that. the big advantage that those guys have. that work in that field is they have a. specific acknowledge that basically the. overwhelming majority of people can't.

grasp like not because we're not capable. we're just not well versed in this right. people start talking about derivatives. and short sales and all this most people. go I don't know what the [ __ ] you're. talking about yeah I don't know what the. [ __ ] I'm talking about when I said it. that that goes but then that makes. things go unregulated unchecked it's. like when doctors have a conversation or. pilots and they start getting into the. specifics of their field at a certain. point if you're not one of those people. you're like I don't know what you're. talking about it's not for you and. you're like okay except this one really. affects most of us a great deal but we.

don't know what the [ __ ] is happening. yeah to me it might as well be when. people start talking about golf scores. sure he was six under and the five and. like what he had two birdies and an. eagle man what are you saying yeah of. course and he took a mulligan what you. got a big golf guy no I've never even. played guy shot Jim furick shot a 59. last week I have no idea what that means. see you just said it right there pretty. inable yeah that the numbers thing is a. SC scary one to not be uh to not to be. math illiterate like I am I'm I'm with.

you quite frightening I'm with you what. do you think of 114 114 is that a good. score for what for boxing if you watch. the Mayweather fight oh Jesus Christ. that woman who also scored um Pacquiao. losing to uh Bradley Yeah Tim Bradley. that lady's crazy she has a different. view of boxing than most people I got. lucky man I uh I was I had a show in. Lauderdale and I was was doing it at the. at the Improv which is connected to the. Hard Rock Casino so I knew the fight I.

was like I'm going to miss the fight. whatever I had two shows I mean I take. my time I finish the show I get paid I'm. just like hanging out I walk back to my. room and as I enter the casino and this. is in Hollywood Florida there are a. [ __ ] extra 3,000 people in the casino. I'm like what is going on W and every. monitor in the casino showing the fight. so I was like oh great and it was only. the end of the third round so I got to. watch from basically round four on the. whole Casino showed the fight that's.

incredible and everybody stopped there. were so many people stopped and in like. in in between slot machines just like. looking up just to watch this fight it. was it was incredible to see that. spectacle the people watching it and. yeah I mean I watched like I said the. rest of the after the end of round three. on and you know I think even to like. novice boxing people like he Floyd. pretty much put on a clinic you know. yeah it was ridiculous I mean this woman.

scored at even even is crazy I think. even I think somebody who didn't know. what's going on like we're talking about. yeah would know that it wasn't even well. I think that there's some crazy people. out there and I think uh there's also. the possibility of corruption and both. of those need to be considered as. options either she's crazy and she just. likes to judge [ __ ] professionally that. she has no idea abouta I mean I never. talked to I haven't talked to a single. person that thought it even made a bit.

of sense it's not like one of those we. well you know what she favors defense. and the shell defense is very impressive. and he did land a couple hard counters. like no no no no there was no one saying. that like this is if you thought that he. won that fight or you thought it was a. draw you're a crazy person the fact that. your track record now includes the Paco. Bradley and this that's those are both. on your resume that lady does not pay. attention. either she does not P attention or she's. crazy or she's getting paid right I.

don't want to say that you did I'm glad. Brian redb said that and not me because. I sometimes Brian I work in the presence. of the Nevada State athletic commission. and I would never accuse them of such a. thing right however if I was an. investigator I would look into it. sharply yeah yeah this's just something. wrong there's just something wrong and. if it's not corruption which I hope it's. not it's just incompetence and either. way it shouldn't be tolerated you did. you know so no one deserves their job. right especially when it's that kind of. a job you don't deserve that job you. have that job because you're supposed to.

be a professional at it you're supposed. to be really good at it and when you're. unbelievably unbearably bad is that a. word IM bearably unbe unbearably but I. went in bearably that's not a word but. she's so bad it's criminal yeah it's. criminal it's like me teaching Spanish. lessons I don't know how to speak. Spanish right so if I tell you to speak. Spanish that [ __ ] would be criminal it. would be yeah it's not that [ __ ] is. Criminal it's not it's not okay Snoop. Lion weed Jack pot wins pound of weed. off the Mayweather fight oh he bet a. pound of weed oh that's hilarious look.

at him with a pound of weed and a. Captain America shirt on yeah he's a. badass look at this guy who did he bet. it with got to say um you know how much. is a pound of weed these days that don't. no oh a Mexican guy named L Lou we. that's hilarious I've never had a pound. of weed in my life no it's about $4,000. that's insane I've never even had more. than an ounce like I don't want to carry. a lot of weed around no I don't. understand that I've seen a a quarter a.

quarter pound QP if I saw a bag that big. I would assume the next thing I'm going. to hear is Boots kicking the door and. get all your [ __ ] in I'm going like. okay I'm a comedian not a drug dealer. what's scary in Ohio allegedly my dealer. growing up in college that's how much he. would have and so in Ohio that's scary. CU like he would have like three pites. two Chows and just like like you'd come. in this house and like all these these. crazy dogs you just pull out the. humongous bag and put it right there and. he like trusted me so he like showed me.

all the [ __ ] he had and like all the. secrets like pounds of weed that he has. like hidden everywhere God it was crazy. grew up around that scary so weird a guy. here who who dealed out here had um like. a big SUV like an Escalade and he had. compartments built in there um where the. way it was rigged was that the radio. station had to be tuned to a certain. Channel and that would unlock then he. would be able to unlock the.

compartments so it had to be like on. 91.7 and then he would go click click. and that's so crazy that's so crazy. that's to transport like do you know. that a guy went to jail for a long time. because he was constructing those oh. really yeah he went to jail for like a. real stretch and they they accused him. of aiding and a betting somehow or. another they set this guy up okay to. build hidden compartments yeah wow. hidden compartments jail check this out.

did you. ever oh here we go here it's one of my. mods this has to do with a CD drive and. a secret compartment one of many of my. inventions and I know they've used CD. drives before but not in vehicles and as. far as to my knowledge and not like this. and what I've done is a this is a. key I know you're thinking it's a. battery stick your tongue to it it would. zap you don't do that stupid anyways and. these are two Taps it is really a 9volt.

battery and the power supply goes. through this to open up my vent which uh. reveals my secret compartment and I'm. basically took the CD D apart used the. the basics to it no this is. dope how he do. that it to it and whatnot so he pushes. this battery he it's just a regular. 9volt battery he holding up he puts it. right there oh that is so dope come on. that guy's James Bond keep you know your.

wallet your keys little extra cash he. said oh you know your wallet I thought. he said Pino you're keeping Pino inir. glass I keep a glass of Peno was ready. glasses chilled you know when [ __ ]. stepping on my 79 and. power glass of wine it again for the S. and then it closes that's so that's wild. oh so you flip it to go in and flip it. to go out that's insane you changed the. battery that is insane I know thinking.

[Laughter]. damn inspired by super boy that's up I. was thinking damn yeah that was awesome. man that was awesome did you ever see. the French Connection you've seen it. right yes man was so long ago that was. Jee hack right yeah it's [ __ ] awesome. movie man I don't know I don't know I. don't remember a thing about it I I. remember it was awesome but to watch. her SM smuggling right yes and it's so. good it's like a classic um you know cop.

[ __ ] cop and bad guy movie from that. era it's I think it's a late 70s movie. it's so good you seen it Brian you got. to see it okay is it about like. something like this like drug smell. absolutely it's a heroin yeah this is. the guy I was talking about his name is. Alfred Anaya and it says he was a genius. at installing secret compartments in. cars mhm and uh so they were used to. smuggle drugs without his. knowledge and now he's in trouble if. they were used to smuggle drugs without.

his knowledge he figured it wasn't a. problem he was wrong and it said uh they. they locked him up man wow he lived in. in the valley and um he would set up. these compartments like in the trucks. back seat the the truck's back seat. where he would he rigged up a set of. hydraulic cylinders that linked to the. vehicles's electrical system and the. only way to make the seat slide forward. and reveal its secret was by pressing. and holding four switches. simultaneously two uh for the power door. locks and two for the windows so he.

would press all four of those at the. same time and it would open up the back. seat so awesome yeah he said the seal. was no longer responsible to the switch. combination that no amount of jiggling. could make it. budge he pleaded with the guy to take a. look you know this is how Bieber rolls. he's got like the high tech the most. high tech one ever probably if Bieber. yeah yeah cuz they pull that. [ __ ] over all the time and like. like there's never has anything in his. car but yet like TMZ always has pictures. of him like holding bongs out windows.

and dumping out water into the street so. they set this guy up listen to this the. guy's name was annaya right and so um. there was this uh dude named estabon and. he was saying that the switch to the. combination doesn't work anymore and no. amount of jiggling could get it to work. again and so this guy shows up to fix it. and he's a little suspicious because. there's uh nothing El there's nothing. illegal about building traps which are. commonly used to hide everything from. pricey jewelry to legal handguns but the.

activity runs a foul of carry California. law if an installer knows for certain. that his compartment will be used to. transport drugs so if the guy told him. that it's going to transport drugs then. he has a responsibility to either call. the police or not build it or what have. you the maximum penalty is three years. in prison Jes and so this guy Anaya the. guy who got arrested he thought it was. wise to deviate from his standard no. questions asked policy before agreeing. so he suspected this guy and he said. there's nothing in there I should know. about is there estabon assured him that.

he needn't worry oh say this is [ __ ]. up man so he's saying don't worry about. it like. yeah so the guy didn't give in to. saying hey I'm going to use it for this. and then the guy goes all right I'll. build it for you anyway yeah this is. weird man this is you lock that guy up. they they they [ __ ] set this guy up. because this guy was making compartments. for people but not asking any questions. that's what it was but I don't think. that's illegal I think you're allowed to.

hide [ __ ] cuz you can you know what if. you have money you want to leave you. know something expensive what if you uh. own a jewelry store Yeah well yeah if. you have expensive stuff on you all the. time like you should be able to hide. that you own a business that's a cash. business you want to transport Cas you. can't assume that if someone can hide. something in their home that they. shouldn't be able to hide something in. their car that's just that's your. property too there's that weirdness of. like searching people's cars man you. know because you don't come to a. person's house and search their house.

like why are you searching their car. yeah like you you you because you know. that people transport drugs and things. with their car but at the end of the day. it's [ __ ] private property and. whether there's a, in cash in the back. seat that you're going to steal from us. because you think that we're we're. buying drugs with it that's happened. before where people like there was a. stripper who had like a million dollars. in her trunk this crazy [ __ ] like made. a million dollars and was going to buy a. business and she had this money she got. arrested and the cops had to give the. money back to her because they suspected. her of being a drug dealer and then she.

had to document all of her pay all her. ho and show all do hoing man just doing. little stripping you know my girl like. to shake that ass but the the you know. the cops took that money as if like you. can't have money if you have money it. has to come from drugs yeah a lot of. money yeah but why can't you don't don't. people have houses how do they buy a. house yeah who's to say you can't just. go to a guy with a [ __ ] trunk full of. cash and buy a house you can you know. cuz everybody else uses a [ __ ] credit. card if you decide you hate credit cards. you want to store it all in a safe in.

your house well and I only know the. combination the cop have to look in. there to see if there's anything wrong. and if he sees that there's money in. there hey what are you doing with all. this good stuff what are you doing with. all this stuff that everybody earns yeah. why do you have to why do you have to. declare I I was thinking about the. Border thing I mean I assume that you. have to declare money so that they can. investigate yes whether what's the. source of that money what that money for. but there's this whole thing you have to. declare if you have over 10,000 let's. say going into Canada or coming back in.

United States right right what if you. have a lot of money and why do you why. do I have to explain to you that I don't. have this problem but I've thought about. it before like we're like you know. obviously they're they're asking so so. that if somebody does like they don't. say they have it then they do say then. they find that they have 15,000 in cash. they're going to be like why do you have. this much cash well what do I do I. wonder if you have to like when you. report it how does that work if you have. to report that you like let's say you're. some crazy baller type character yeah. and you know you're like who would you.

be like if you were going to be a baller. type character you have to be a black. guy right who would you be what which. rapper would you be that walks around. with suitcase of C let's say you're. Floyd Mayweather because he would walk. around with suitcase is full of cash. absolutely why can't Floyd Mayweather he. probably they probably wouldn't let him. in Canada because he's got some domestic. violence charges jail he did his 30 days. or whatever they might not even let you. in because Canada is pretty strict about. letting you in for [ __ ] like that they. don't [ __ ] around but if he did get. through he probably would get through. with like a hundred grand in a backpack.

some Gucci Sack or something like that. absolutely you know did you see the the. all access for him and Canelo no I. didn't I didn't dude I've watched them. before but like I didn't see this time. he sends one of his girls to go pick up. some of his gambling de his gambling. money that he won she goes in this like. ostrich skin I don't know who the [ __ ]. makes it some super expensive bag yeah. and the guy puts 48. $80,000 in the bag and then she walks it. out of there gets in her car and drives.

it to Money Mayweather hey Floyd yeah. he's drives to his House's put you you. want on Duke do you know how crazy that. is Duke Maryland that's insane he's he's. gambling that kind of money oh yeah I. mean he he always talk he takes photos. of his bedding slips he crazy he's crazy. $48,000 he won and they're not even like. sometimes his bets are like these like. kind of side bet like prop bets they're. like where it's like uh I'm betting on.

who's the first to 12 points in this. basketball game you know I mean not even. like the outcome of the game like he's. betting [ __ ] like that where it's a. total just gambling Rush kind of bet. where you're like I'll put 25 Grand that. it's the 76ers well you want to know. what's interesting they have uh found a. direct correlation between head trauma. and uh addiction to gambling really yeah. I brought it up to Dana White because. Dana White was in here and Dana Dana. used to be a boxer and Dana was talking. about his gambling like Dana gambles.

like Insanity he's won he won seven. million one night what he lost a. million that's the most he's ever lost. is 1 million the most he's ever won is 7. million and it's is it gambling always. on like on sporting events that's what. he likes to gamble on I don't know what. the I think he's playing cards he won $7. million yes. yes yeah I can't even r i mean he he. goes off is it poker I don't know I. think he plays Blackjack I don't know. what the [ __ ] he plays Blackjack I went. into that uh high stakes.

room uh once I saw a guy and people. stopped to watch him to do Blackjack he. was doing 10,000 a hand and we were all. like oh [ __ ] that's 10 grand and they. were like no like bust take 10,000 he. would put 10,000 in chips back there and. it was I mean it was super entertaining. to watch but I was like I can't imagine. doing that man I can't IM just talking. about it 10,000 and it goes like that I. mean it has gone in seconds so Dana must. do it that style where it's like 25. Grand a hand that kind of [ __ ] oh yeah.

that's a that's really unique with. gambling you know the gambling for like. money like in Vegas type gambling is. that you can the the it can shift within. seconds as least if you're gambling on a. game it's a whole game you have one hour. for this game to take place I kind of. like gambling on games cuz I don't even. like sports but if I had some money. money invested like it would make it. more exciting it absolutely does it has. that effect to the eenth degree like if.

I go to Vegas like say say if you and I. went and there was some kickboxing going. on this they're doing this new thing for. uh Spike TV Glory Glory is this uh super. highle kickboxing League it's like the. best kickboxers on the planet Earth and. the [ __ ] the the fights are. incredible yeah like Goan Saki and. Daniel Gita and Tyrone and Spong these. guys are [ __ ] Assassins right I would. like to go to see that see that [ __ ]. live and if we went to see that [ __ ]. live yeah and we were ringside you know. we're going to bet some money Tommy buns.

now would you bet Bas not knowing. anything about the guys is that how you. bet no I would never do that you bet I. would if I wanted it for a goof yeah I. mean maybe no but let's say not for like. if if we're talking about this. particular would you know about the guy. like do you know those guys who they are. yeah the high the highest level guys I. know but there's so many more kickboxers. than there are MMA guys there's a lot of. MMA guys that I don't know really there. there's a certain number where you can. only like keep many in your brain you. know that um there's like they say like. close friends or people that you're in.

contact with on a regular basis you have. 150 names that you can kind of keep. going yeah yeah it's the 150 people that. you have relations with everything after. that is just like yeah you know I don't. but you have a lot of I mean like you in. particular store a lot of data about. guys fighting who they' fought and you. remember the fight where they fought how. the how he won that particular fight. that's a lot of extra knowledge yeah. sitting in there but that's because. there's nothing else in there right.

there's no other sports in there oh I. see what you mean yeah you know there's. no room there's no room for hockey yeah. there's no room for basketball yeah so. all like when I start talking about like. fights like oh you know he lost to eov. chansin he got koed in the first round. came back fought a few times but we. never really saw him again that that I. you know there's no there's no. basketball in there confusing I see what. you mean cuz I'm kind of that to a. degree that way with college football. like I have a lot of in there and I. remember names and I remember games and. I remember the year well that's way more. numbers it's and the crazy thing is like.

well sometimes I'm amazed that I. remember who recruited the guy whoa and. what high school he went to that's crazy. well that's Hunter S Thompson's famous. story about uh talking to Nixon MH have. you ever heard that no I don't think so. I don't think so oh dude um he uh spent. time in a car with Nixon really hunterz. Thompson did yeah back before he was. president no was President oh wow okay. and he uh he rode with him in a car and. uh Nixon and him just talked football he.

he knew that Hunter was a football fan. he go I'll let you ride with me if we. only talk football you know because. football fans love to talk football with. other football fans and Hunter was a. huge football fan fan so he got in the. back seat with Nixon and they talked. about football he said he was amazed. that like he knew about one guy who. played one year with one team and he. knew where he went to college and he was. he was like I was blowing away he's like. he's a real legit he goes he might be. the only thing that he didn't lie about.

didn't Hunter kill himself after. football season yes it was right he was. like he waited for like Super Bowl and. all he kills it like in February or. something he had been apparently talking. about killing himself for a long time. yeah he was in some pretty serious pain. yeah he had hip replacements and uh on. top of it the boozing and the coke he. had just redlined his brain If you ever. listen to Hunter like later in life mhm. pull up uh Hunter S Thompson on Conan. Brian show it's really sad and this is. coming from someone who's a huge Hunter. S Thompson fan and in fact my favorite.

alltime documentary if I have to if I. have to tell people one is a goof I. always go with Grizzly Man because. Grizzly Man was hilarious to me do you. mean do you mean uh Letterman what did I. say Conan yeah no Conan oh I don't see a. Conan there's one trust me cuz uh he's. it's much he's much older when he's. doing the one on Conan Grizzly Man find. hysterical though it's hilarious I love. it I watched again last week I've. watched it a 100 times but Gonzo the.

Life and work of Dr Hunter S Thompson is. [ __ ] brilliant really it's an amazing. amazing amazing documentary watch I. should watch that do you can't find it. dude there we go Hunter Thompson it's. just a bad. copy listen to he him. talk you barely understand. [Music]. him you can't even hear that go go to. the one where they're at the desk if you. go further further back he's uh sitting. at the desk with Conan and he's uh.

they're talking and it's like Jesus. Christ you can't put together what he's. saying you don't understand a word he's. saying Mumble slur Mumble Mumble Mumble. but then if you go back to his early. stuff you go back to uh the the the. documentary it's absolutely brilliant. it's when he's running for Sheriff uh of. Aspen and um they start you know he. starts talking about the laws that are. in in place today and why it's. engendered this disrespect for law. enforcement operators Law Enforcement.

Officers because they know that these. laws like especially marijuana laws are. [ __ ] cops know their [ __ ] the. kids know their [ __ ] and he was like. you know we got to put a stop to this or. there's going to be a revolution in this. country you know and like it's pretty. [ __ ] intense man L up. yeah he does a shot throw. up. right w I say that was pretty. good that's.

beautiful. wow that was good very good I'm going to. come live with you for a month need the. umbrella some whiskey and we need a a. machine. gun Joe remember when we fired those. yeah in Arizona that was. awesome we went to the Arizona gun club. is that what it's called Phoenix gun. club. yeah it's amazing those things are. insane yeah we we fired some crazy ass.

machine guns they're fun man. yeah I need to get a place where I can. shoot guns that's what I need next it's. so much fun to shoot a high power but. the problem is whenever you get a big. piece of land that you can shoot guns on. they assume you're starting a cult yeah. you know what do they do well they go up. there and they just shoot guns yeah but. in California they do then sometimes. there's stuff that you need to shoot. with a gun which is another problem you. know I don't want to go to oh I think. I'm gay why cuz they're number one look. what they're number one now if all of a. sudden I start moving there you know.

it's kind of weird that you guys are. both from Columbus well there's more. Barns and basements to [ __ ] in Ohio. that's hey easy too sweet is it a is it. a prison type thing where there's just. not as many girls I don't know is that. what goes down it's dumb creepy I think. those guys there would find you guys. irresistible I think they're just smart. they figured how to start their own. community in West Hollywood they figured. how to start their own community in. Columbus you know what doesn't happen. like that though lesbians lesbians don't. really form many very many lesbian.

neighborhoods I guess not I don't really. think of I don't know right I I don't. even know of one not really I can't. think of one I'm sure they exist yeah I. can't think of one gay people have whole. islands Fire Island yeah what dud take. over New York up it's almost all gay. fire Ireland yeah it's gay it's all it's. like 98% gay yeah and then there's a few. hangers on some old people that don't. know what's up oh the lesbians neigh are. strange they wrestle lesbians have the. dinosur get together right oh well.

there's a lot of lesbian golf pros for. sure yeah yeah you know what else pool. really yes highle women professional. pool players L lot of gay softball. players really softball oh yeah yeah. what is it about girls and um sports. that make them gay I guess there the. natural Association right is right now. there's girls all over the country think. we're serious I know it doesn't make me. G you [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] I mean you. look like a guy and you play like a guy.

that's not what we're saying folks you. can you can without a doubt absolutely. be a beautiful woman and being in a. sports sure and doing sports and. competing in sports don't get me wrong I. saw Gabby Reese at the airport whoa. that's a lot of woman whoa I did a um a. celebrity volleyball game with her and. Jonathan Taylor Thomas are you serious. that's his. favorite way back in the dis. it was many many many moons ago and uh. she was a big beautiful woman yeah.

making [ __ ] Warrior babies with that. absolutely their husband's a big. beautiful man professional Surfer oh he. looks like right out of a [ __ ] 1950s. movie about the beach of California hair. is like dipped down he's [ __ ] yolked. big yolked beautiful man yeah the two of. them have pretty sex that's some good oh. I'm sure it's they should study it yeah. they should study it and like you know. one day when they invent AR arcial. people M you know what do you want to be. you want to be some artificial frail. little [ __ ] insect like person be.

Gabriella. [ __ ] imagine how she gives birth she. probably just reaches in and grabs a kid. you how strong that [ __ ] is oh my God. she doesn't have to scream and they're. both they're both shoves it in there and. in their 40s and they look am they were. together they had the whole family. together I was like this family looks. amazing it was straight out of a. Magazine's in love Cav. re did you hear that you got herpes. infected monkeys in Florida I believe it.

I was there this weekend yo dude Florida. does not play games Tommy buns by the. way developed in Florida true it's one. of the few things besides herpes. infected monkeys that have come straight. from Florida Tommy buns that's right. High School buau Beach Florida what up. they said that there's a [ __ ] slew of. herpes infected wild monkeys there's as. many as a thousand a thousand of them. many as a thousand of them there's going. to be spreading a lot there's a lot of. [ __ ] going on in the monkey world.

yeah monkeys don't stop monkeys don't. ask each other do you have anything I. should know about before they [ __ ] they. it's 100% of herpes they [ __ ] everybody. yeah of course monkeys [ __ ] every monkey. [ __ ] every monkey the only thing that. they don't do is uh well chimps at least. is mother and son don't have sex that's. a common primate restriction the the. mother won't have sex with the son but. the dad everybody else the dad [ __ ] the. son. really everybody [ __ ] everybody they. [ __ ] the dad [ __ ] the daughters they. [ __ ] cousins they [ __ ] sisters everybody.

[ __ ] everybody except the mom won't. [ __ ] the sons very interesting thanks. Mom yeah this is uh well I mean this is. really funny how many endangered or how. many dangerous invasive species there. are in Florida when you stop and think. about they started to find n crocodiles. MH they found pythons that are so big. they eat alligators Jesus yeah and now. they're finding the [ __ ] crazy herpes. infected monkeys there's a thousand. feral reesus monkeys living in Florida.

right now and among those scooped up by. Wildlife officials over the years most. were found to be carriers of herpes be. and this week the colony was declared a. public health hazard it's believed that. a small handful of the wild animals. originally landed in the state in the. 1930s courtesy of Colonel tuni a tour. operator who wanted to give the visitors. a Tarzan inspired experience of. Florida's Silver River State Park Tui. reportedly kept the monkeys sequestered.

on an island but they learned to swim to. shore wow easily reaching the mainland. and moving out putting down routs as far. as Jacksonville over a 100 miles away. this is. amazing and these are they're but. they're are they they're not even. contained like they're just out roaming. around or they're contained um no. they're roaming there's a thousand of. them roaming Jesus it says herpes. doesn't cause serious symptoms in these.

particular animals in fact it's fairly. common amongst them but in humans it can. lead to neurological impairment or fatal. inphy. seph militis andom militis why do they. do that why do they insist on making. words so [ __ ] difficult that shit's. ridiculous for these moments. inph my. litis lus myus I guess it's lus no it. would be I because there's no e after T.

before an i or is there an inflammation. of the brain and spinal cord leading to. death Florida's rees's monkeys are known. to act aggressively towards people. they're racist they're biting people. yeah they're probably racist they. probably hate white people so they bite. people and then you get you get a a. murderous form of Herpes that barely. affects them barely affects them but. will kill you this is toxic it's mean. it's very little difference between that. having that and being toxic yeah I mean.

you're talking about something that you. can give a person it will [ __ ] them up. it's mean how's that different than a. poison just because it's a bacteria. great winners in Florida just all I got. to say yeah there's a Cuban tree frog. problem in uh in Florida too they're uh. they're really. noisy so these animals they they move. into these areas and they people like. have a real hard time sleeping oh Jesus. because they're really really [ __ ]. loud and they're they're trying to find.

out like one of the research some of the. research I've been doing recently on. human beings and happiness and Harmony. and peace one of the things they're. showing is that we need quiet like. people need quiet it's not just I would. like to get some quiet now you actually. do need certain amounts of quiet you. can't you you need sleep and during that. sleep you need to be able to rest and if. you're [ __ ] constantly inundated with. sounds you might not ever totally rest. yeah you might drift in and out or and. and it could [ __ ] Redline your mind.

it can really [ __ ] you up so these frogs. they move in they're they're called. Cuban tree flogs they're in tree frogs. they're in Central and South. Florida and they're they're they double. the rate of their. calls native green tree frogs d. h oh in the presence oh this is so crazy. there's so loud that in the presence of. them the native frogs have doubled their. rate of calls as well oh my so it's just.

Insanity they're super loud and crazy. and then the other frogs have doubled. their rate of calls because they have to. try to keep up with these crazy new. they're basically Joey Diaz is a frog. it's a big loud crazy Cuban. frog that's insane yeah that's nuts they. have unforeseen ecological effects. Tennessean says that by doubling its. call rate the green frog makes its. presence more obvious which is likely to. make it more vulnerable to. predation wow so they're going to kill.

off the other frogs by making them. stupid so they actually get they got. comp competitive about y the frog calls. they were like yeah well makes sense it. must be sexual right when they they make. calls what else they doing sexual or. it's like territorial you know about. like threatening my territory right and. what's the territory about I don't know. about sex I guess so yeah yeah they're. just trying to get their frog freak on. frog freaks they found uh the largest.

wild Burmese python in Florida recently. captured and euthanized the F this is. the largest one they've ever caught in. Florida 17 fet long do you think a lot. of the stuff going there I mean part of. it is like that it's made up the place. is a swamp like the state's a swamp but. then it's also proximity to like where a. lot of people end up going like people. from the islands right coming up with. [ __ ] it's the perfect storm Florida is. the perfect storm yeah first of all.

you've got the highest level of. oxycotton addiction and prescription on. the planet Earth that's Florida Florida. has 10 times more oxycoton prescriptions. than the rest of the country combined. really. yes that's a. lot so then okay so you got that right. you got this crazy number of people who. are on oxycon yeah then you've got Cuban. immigrants including a slew that Castro. released Castro sent out because they.

were prisoners that's what Scarface is. based on yeah then you got the cocaine. industry in Miami and mental patients. too oh yeah Dan Marina Dan Marina's from. Florida no he's from he's from uh he was. just he played for the Miami Dolphins so. you you got that okay then you've got. the amount of banks that were set up. with cocaine money who Jesus that's. that's when you start getting really. crazy because find the numbers and you. go oh my God this is insane why are. there so many banks there's more Banks. per capita in Miami than anywhere else. in the country then you got no state.

income tax what type who does that. attract no income tax and it's like this. reputation of being a place where. Eastern gangsters went South I mean it's. always been there like they go south and. dump bodies they go south and hide out. they go I mean they would get in a. Cadillac and they would drive from New. York to Florida yeah I'm gonna give my. mother a nice house in Florida yeah and. then they would also the big thing. before Florida was they would take boats. or jets or whatever to Cuba before Cuba. fell like in the 1950s like Kennedy.

would go to Cuba that was they would go. to Cuba people would go to Cuba Cuba was. the [ __ ] they would go and dance and and. and and drink and and it was supposed to. be [ __ ] incredible yeah and then when. the [ __ ] hit the fan and everybody had a. flee let's just stay around Miami [ __ ]. it we don't need to go here and Miami is. basically there's nothing about it looks. like any American city at all Cuba. totally it's it's a I mean it's great. Miami is a great City it's a fun fun. city but it's very International oh yeah.

it's very International you are an. [ __ ] sometimes when you walk into a. store there and speak English to. somebody like they literally are like. who the what the [ __ ] are you doing yeah. so there's that you know and then. there's it's attached to the southerly. parts of what Georgia and what else what. else is it attached to um you drive to. South Carolina no Alabama yeah there you. go yeah so you you go B Mississippi and.

it's interesting because the uh the. other thing that's interesting is that. the further south you go the more. International Cosmopolitan when you're. in like Northern Florida Northern. Florida you might as well be in Alabama. oh definitely you really might you don't. have to go that far north no no you or. that far Central no you do not Northern. Florida is a different country country. [ __ ] man it's a different now. Tallahassee that shit's country I. remember when when I was in high school. and we would go to this place called.

belglade belglade is basically Inland. from Palm Beach right so Palm Beach is. billionaires row right West Palm Beach. has nothing to do with that it's just. you know like poor and uh you know it. has I mean obviously it has some nice. areas but then you have like rednecks. and then you go further in that Lake. okobe Bel Glade is sugar cane and you. could smell yourself you can smell B. Glade way before you get there like the.

draft like burning sugar cane and it. doesn't smell sweet you know it doesn't. smell good and you get out there and. you're like this is like an entirely. different world like it had nothing to. do with anything it was so Rural and you. know it was all about the soil there Muk. City and and the uh. the the place had you would think you. were in Alabama or in GE you know some.

rural part of Georgia and that was just. like I said a couple hours in from West. Palm Beach that that cartoon of Bugs. Bunny swing off Florida what year was. that from uh looks like about 60 you. think that that was really what he did. or did someone create that to for a joke. in the the new day and age oh no no no. that's from a cartoon so he really did. saw away Florida yeah yeah yeah so was. Florida where Elmer fud lived uh I can't. remember that episode why is he so. hating on Florida was Florida shitty.

back then too I don't know where where. did Lucy and Ricky live did they live in. Florida cuz he was Cuban right he was. Cuban was that Miami that's a good. question I don't know okay I Love Lucy. here we go I love isn't it funny that. they like no one had any problem with. that as like an interracial relationship. or uh you know. Intercultural relationship like back. then like being a Cuban man was like. very sophisticated it wasn't like if you.

try to do a Mexican and her yeah like. people would have a problem with that it. was you know it was okay to have it that. way yeah yeah it wasn't even considered. I mean not that they're different races. but Hispanic a lot of people actually Al. racists do look at Hispanic sure and the. Hispanic people is being different than. white people of course of course but. that back then. did you know that big bunny Bugs Bunny. America take it away why did they do.

that why is bugs mad at Florida that's. what I need to know now do you know that. Desi he had such a a massive ego that. Des Ares did yeah he had a real problem. with the name of the show being I Love. Lucy so they he was like the show should. be like you know I love Desi right but. they told him yeah but who saying I Love. Lucy saying he's an idiot yeah and they. were like he was like oh yeah and they. convinced him oh my God that the show.

basically it's you saying it so the show. is really about you know how do we know. that that's true though that's it it's a. all these stories producer could be a. could be quad they'll tell they'll tell. stories about you someday Tommy buns and. you'll be like the [ __ ] I said that I. didn't [ __ ] say that [ __ ] the [ __ ] I. said that. meanwhile okay yeah that was a big. [ __ ] popular show man oh yeah I think. the most I think the most watched. episode of Television ever is I Love. Lucy when she gave birth everybody tuned.

in to see if it was a boy or a girl like. it's crazy numbers Insanity like. basically most of our country watched. that when that air it was from six years. from 1951 to. 1957 and then after the series ended a. modified version continued for three. more seasons with 13 1hour specials. running from 1957 to. 1960 known as the Lucille Ball Desi Ares. show there you go and then reruns as the.

Lucy Desi Comedy Hour my name's in that. show [ __ ] yeah he got a little upset. yeah this is [ __ ] I'm not coming. back yeah I guess it was actually 1949. that Bugs Bunny cartoon but I think he. just I don't know man he am uh he's. given credit basically for syndication. really Desi Ares he figured it out well. he's the one television used to just air. live like you just who and they would. just shoot it and then he asked for like. the prince one time and they were like.

yeah you can have the [ __ ] Prince. what are we going to do with that. [ __ ] you [ __ ] idiot you dumb Cuban. piece of [ __ ] and that's hilarious and. then whoopsies a little while later he. was like you know we could reair this. and they were like oh yeah we could. reair that that's actually quite funny. yeah originally sat in an apartment. building in New York City I Love Lucy. Center on Lucy Ricardo Lucille Ball and. her singer band leader husband Ricky.

Ricardo along with their best friends. and landlords Fred MZ their landlord and. Ethel. Merz wow yeah that shows those shows man. like The Honeymooners that's a window. into another time man yeah sure they. watching Lucille Ball watching The. Honeymooners The Honeymooners every week. Ralph cramden would threaten to beat the. [ __ ] out of his wife yeah that's true. not just occasionally every [ __ ] week. he would like pow right to the Moon yeah.

he would talk about punching her in the. face and knocking her to the. Moon she deserved it but stop just stop. and think about like culturally how. crazy people were it's not that long ago. we need to understand what a giant. change has happened in our culture and I. think one of the best ways to really. document it is to watch old shows watch. what they what they accepted back then. and watch what they accept today there's.

a a newpaper article I just saw from. somebody posted it I think on Twitter. and it. was it was they asked they. pulled guy it's an old newspaper article. they pulled guys whether it's okay to. spank a. woman and the answers oh yeah they. pulled like five or six guys it was an. old article and they were all like. absolutely like she needs it if she if. she's out a line and she doesn't know. what she's doing you're just trying to.

help her and this was a newspaper thing. where they were like see guys it was to. make you feel okay about spanking your. lady yeah I tweeted that oh you tweeted. that yeah okay I don't know I just saw. an article yeah well I might have. retweeted it but either way I definitely. tweeted it I thought that was was. hilarious hysterical yeah if a woman. needs it should she be spanked the best. part about it was let's read it let's. read it yeah it's so [ __ ] funny why. not. Jesus Christ if they don't know how to. behave by the time they're adults they. should be treated like children and.

spanked that ought to make them grow up. in a hurry if it doesn't at first. they'll soon get the idea this is. incredible get the idea hey yes when. they deserve it as a barber I've got a. lot of faith in the hairbrush oh my God. I think there are certain cases when it. is advisable when it is there's no. reason why you shouldn't go right ahead. and do it I can't knock the idea in my. business a man sets a lot of the of.

store of sets a lot of store by the. results he can get with a hairbrush. properly applied nice little smack now. here's the counter does that mean though. sets a lot of store maybe that's a. business term back then a man sets a lot. of store are you ready for the. Counterpoint yes there's none everybody. agrees that you that's incredible that's. the best part is everybody takes the. point of view look at this guy parking. lot attendant from Brooklyn Teddy galle. you bet you bet it teaches him who's. boss a lot of women tend to forget this.

is a man's world and a lot of men who. step down as boss of a family wish they. hadn't spanking might help get back some. of the respect they lost look at Teddy. look at that's Joey Diaz's cousin the. [ __ ] Cocker listen [ __ ] sucker spank him. if they want it William Davis what does. William say he's a Toy Factory owner yes. most of them have it comeon to them. anyway if they don't it will remind them. of how well off they are I subscribe to. the theory that an ounce of prevention.

is worth a pound of cure holy [ __ ] look. at him look at that evil looking [ __ ]. looks like rut gal's brother wow does he. look like ruer Hower and Robert dairo. [ __ ] he looks evil man actually looks. like that one uh Holman oh yeah he does. a little like Holzman imagine that guy. spanking your wife let's hear what the. other people say that's a that that the. last one that's. awful well that's sort of like what you.

know um Dawkins is kind of alluding to. totally that you're dealing with a. totally different time absolutely and he. probably didn't really get over it yeah. he's probably saying that to appearer. look it's no big deal I got over it but. the reality is that guy probably needs. mushrooms and a hug yeah that guy still. he's like avoided psychedelics you know. where that came into play Big Time with. with that c like like that specific. world at um was at an issue was the uh. Joe pno thing because yeah yeah sanduski.

nobody's arguing that it was a different. era he was he's a rapist and a pedophile. right but people were saying that the. way the patno handled it was just an old. school guy way of doing it because he. was 80s something years old his whole. thing was like you know I didn't I. didn't know and my uh you know my the. way of doing things when for a guy from. his era was like well just you don't. come around here anymore yeah you know.

what I mean it was his way of his way of. policing that type of behavior was and. that probably was what people would do. to somebody like you hear what what. Jerry did yeah Jerry's not welcome here. anymore you know that kind of thing like. that's that's considered the discipline. for that guy right not let's call. authorities and and it was like Jer you. know he's out of here yeah Jerry you. can't [ __ ] my kids yeah you got to go. away stop that's wrong yeah you can't. come to the to the cookouts anymore.

Jerry Jerry Twisted [ __ ] yeah yeah um. one of the things that Dawkins look at. this guy spanking this chick yeah you. know acting up hey can we join in get. out of here wow he's really beating on. her man are they going to separate. it what the devil do you think you're. doing he's drunk try to grab the glass. and smell it while he's drunk how dare. you well the grandmother thinks it's. funny dare and then under my own roof.

you child's never been struck in her. whole life my poor darling my darling. what the grandmother's laughing you you. monster I could strangle you sorry don't. you touch me the nerve of you coming. into my house and trying to tell me what. to do and and hitting me well you think. you're important don't you well you're. not you're a clerk a miserable a little. CL wow a low blow she didn't need to go. there well maybe she did maybe she. needed to get spanked too talking [ __ ].

about the guy being a clerk absolutely. how rude she forgot how she forgot how. good she has it Joe wow that's she's got. a good life that's so weird when you. look at stuff like that from another. time and you go that's not that far ago. no you know in terms of the the amount. of time that human beings have been. alive it's not that far and in terms of. the life of the planet you know. obviously you get back further and. further and wider and wider it looks. tiny and tinier but it's it's really. strange was that a guy getting spanked. that's a girl yeah wow wrestling they. spank now she has a very firm booty too.

bet that was a fun spanking this guy's. like I got your baby can't believe spank. my wife he's going to go back there and. while he's banging her she's going to. close his eyes and think about that guy. spanking her that's so wrestling is so. silly that's such a silly world what are. you talking about it's amazing it's the. best thing we have so it's so absurd. it's so you mean pro wrestling you don't. mean real wrestling is it weird that. real wrestling is like one of the. greatest [ __ ] Sports most difficult. Sports the world's ever known and super.

effective in combat but that fake. wrestling so popular it it is the a. front to American. civilization it is the thing where if. the aliens come down and they turn on. the TV if that's the first thing they. watch you got a real problem on your. hands and I get that like somebody told. you know it's a soap opera for like. basically for dudes yeah and I'm like no. it's not I I watch I'm like I. like I almost I understand it way more. for like a kid you know the characters. and all stuff but like when I like I.

have adult friends I have a lot of adult. friends that all still watch it and love. like Sam from OPI and Anthony [ __ ] in. love with it and Tony Hinchcliffe and. you're just like hinchliff loves. wrestling he's one of the biggest. wrestler guys ever that is hilarious. that's I know a comic in Chicago Marty. doosa um [ __ ] like talking about this. [ __ ] like did you see that [ __ ] what are. you talking about man what is how could. you even get into it I don't know I. don't know and I tried like I. [ __ ] as everybody has their maybe.

it's a Nostalgia thing maybe it's. because they liked it back then maybe. they don't smoke weed that's could be. that problem but all the classics like I. grew up with like you know Hulk Hogan. and and all of them are like dead or. retired so these new guys it's like I. don't but I'm just saying like the. excitement I can I get the excitement. for an 11-year-old but but like now when. you have real Sports yeah and I love. when the guys they get real defensive. like the guys that are in it because. they're always doing their act no matter.

what they're always doing they're like. you think this shit's real step in the. ring [ __ ] Okay well did you ever. see John stasel get beat up by the. wrestler yes because he got yeah yeah. that's a classic we should F John stasel. gets beat up by wrestler he he got. really [ __ ] up he ruptured his ear. drum yeah and his hearing was and he had. like long-term effects from that yeah. that was really non nice no but he was. getting a little cocky with the guy he. could have asked him in a more. respectful way well I'm not going into. the ring to tell these guys that I think. this shit's lame who's the guy who beat.

him up I. schz Dave schz that guy looks. crazy is a good bus yeah it's a good. business I wouldn't be in it if it. wasn't why is it a good business because. only the tough survive that's the reason. you ain't in it and this Punk holding. the camera Reon he ain't in it reading. these redneck out here ain't in it. because it's a tough. business that's terrific wait is that. all you got all the standard question. you know standard question I think this. is fake you think it's. fake what's that is that fake huh what.

the hell's wrong with you that's open. hand slap huh you. think. whoa that second one that that second. one was I think the one that did the. well he in all fairness he was a little. mouthy yeah sure he's a little mouthy. with the wrestler yeah you know why. would you uh is this a good business. first of all sucks as an interviewer. that's a sucky interview if if I. interviewed a guy like that I would. expect him to be upset with me too is. this a good business yeah why would you.

ask if it's a good business a horri. question tell me you know tell me about. wrestling how'd you get involved in this. like how long you've been doing it how. do you respond to people that say that. this is not real not me I'm not saying. that you got to be nice to the guy don't. be a dick I think it's fake yeah like. what are you why are you so cocky like. why do you think you could say that to a. man like inches in front of him just. insult what he does it's all it's stupid. and of course it's fake you [ __ ] dope. it's it's arranged but it's not they're. hitting each other for real they're. slamming each other for real that angle.

that guy took is so stupid because I. also I mean it just in life you always. size up who's in a room right and like I. I think some enormous dudes are [ __ ]. idiots but I'm not going to be like I. think you're a [ __ ] idiot to your. face cuz I don't want to get my ear. [ __ ] smashed well not only that it. was not necessary to create drama there. that's that didn't draw anything out but. he had a different idea of how that was. going to turn out he thought I'm going. to ask him these questions and make him. look stupid cuz I'm way smarter than. this [ __ ] clown exactly and then he. got his. ear and you know I mean he lived he.

learned MH he's got a mustache and he's. a white guy his name is stasel and he's. got a giant Bert Reynolds style mustache. and he still has it does he really he's. had that [ __ ] for that yeah he hasn't. shaved that he still rocks that that's a. [ __ ] up thing to happen to have a guy. like manhandle like that in front of a. camera and no one gives a [ __ ] no one. does anything. oh yeah everybody moved everyone backing. away from no one's going to save you. right then what are you going to do that. guy's enormous yeah that guy's he's a.

giant man yeah you got a real problem. mhm Mr stasel you're not being protected. a lot of those guys are absolute scary. [ __ ] of course they are yeah they're. [ __ ] huge guys like Brock Brock. Lesnar just an enormous human if they. guy wants to beat the [ __ ] out of you in. front of the cameraman I mean he might. get arrested for it eventually right but. like while it's going down like no one's. going to help you that's just a fact. sure the rock is a beast too oh he's. enormous hug he's bigger than ever now.

yeah he's huge now he's like really into. bodybuilding he puts a lot of videos and. uh tweets a lot about like all the. workouts he's doing like 4:00 in the. morning lands 500 a.m. he's at the hotel. yeah I saw thing he said he's doing like. two hours of cardio and then 3 hours of. he's an animal he's an animal total and. then he he has cheat days that he puts. online you ever see his cheat days sh. eats H 100 donuts and [ __ ] plates of. donuts giant stacks of brownies like. jugs like several gallons of milk I've. seen a lot of the like super athletes uh.

post sugar like like a lot of like guys. that are doing like the in super you. know cross trainining CrossFit guys but. that their cheat thing is always. incredible amounts of sugar I think it's. probably because of caloric intake like. they probably have an extreme desire for. heavy caloric intake that glucose kind. of to kick in yeah yeah if you're doing. like CrossFit and [ __ ] like that plus. also when you you go with like really. healthy diet on on a regular for the. most part it's so tempting to go off the.

rails are you still you still. gluten-free yeah yeah how's that going. great I have no problems with it yeah I. heard UD bread is a really good bread to. to try so I'm going to try that out and. then there's uh there's apparently. there's a gluten-free bakery that sends. want sends us some wants to send us some. stuff that's in La I you know I don't. miss it that much I Tred some. gluten-free pasta tastes fine the the. big thing to me is I feel way different. after I eat when I would eat bread I. would be like oh and I always assumed.

that was just how I felt after I ate. right because I always ate bread I. always had bread or pasta like always. and then when I stopped it was like oh. like like I was being poisoned. essentially you know like slowly you. know is it hard to do gluten-free when. you travel like is it harder it's harder. but when I say poison obviously I'm. being melodramatic but what I really. mean is that your body doesn't digest. that [ __ ] well it takes a long time it. feels like [ __ ] it feels weird and it's. breads it's Breads and pasta when you.

eliminate that stuff it eliminates a. whole level of after meal crash like. there's still a bit of an after meal. slowdown like I won't have a big meal. and then go on stage for that very. reason sure I I wouldn't want to have a. steak and potatoes and then run right up. on stage but the difference between a. steak and potatoes and a steak potatoes. and pasta is significant steak potatoes. and bread is significant. that extra level of [ __ ] coma that. you go into when youat pasta it's gone. that level's gone I don't get that level.

can you still have potatoes yeah you. could have any carbs you could have rice. yeah it's the the idea is all B like. some people say it's hoey and it might. be a little whoy you know a little. psychosomatic I'm not I don't think it. is I think there's enough people that. are pointing to some research that's. been done on it that it makes sense and. there's also research done on actual. wheat itself that wheat itself. apparently like the 1960s they altered. it make it a little tougher so it could. survive pesticides and you know bug. attacks and [ __ ] better and when they.

did that it made it much more difficult. for people to consume than the old. school wheat that people had been eating. for thousands of years so essentially. all I don't know [ __ ] about it is you're. just getting rid of wheat right yep yeah. that's it so Breads and even some. alcohols because it's a lot of alcohol. yeah but not hinin hinin which I drank. anyway is uh is gluten-free but like. that stuff that I love that black but. Porter that's got tons of gluten in it. there there's a lot of gluteny beers. there's a lot of gluten in like things. like clam chowder has gluten in it okay.

it's a lot of stuff like you wouldn't. expect like powdery did you Ed I mean. you you're always reading about it now. find out what you can eat yeah I just I. just completely quit I just stepped back. and um said well let's see if it's worth. doing I'll do it and if it's not worth. doing if I don't feel any different at. all I'll go right back but you feel. great but I feel a difference there's. definitely a difference. um there's a book called Wheat Belly. that I still haven't read but uh a lot. of people point to that as being a good. source of.

information um as to why uh there was a. uh a change in uh in weed itself and. what they're saying is that um whole. grains of 2012 or not the whole grains. of 1950 the 19th century the Bible. pre-biblical times modern wheat in. particular is genetically distant from. its predecessors thanks to extr ex. genetic. changes. inflicted on wheat in the 1960s and the. 1970s in the name of increased yield per.

acre oh okay so the healthy whole grains. have been repeatedly shown to reduce. risk in diabetes heart disease and colon. cancer it's true but if whole grains are. compared to processed white wheat flour. it's guilty of the kind of flawed logic. that dominates nutritional thinking blah. blah blah blah blah um so apparently the. grain that people used to eat is a much.

better tasting wheat yeah or a much. better for you wheat but it just doesn't. doesn't we don't have it. anymore. wow H so you eat a lot of protein though. yeah I eat um I eat almost all protein. like fish or chicken chicken or meat or. uh and a lot of vegetables and I still. eat potatoes and I'll still eat rice but. there's a difference in the way I feel I.

just think digestion wise I think. there's an issue with resources I think. when you when you're eating wheat one. thing that's happening is many more. resources that are used for other things. are used to digest it it it must come. down to like what it is when you think. about a a plate of pasta chew that [ __ ]. up mash it up swallow it and then pack. it all together it's glue you got glue. you got a big W of glue yeah you know. whereas your stomach acids are sort of. designed to digest other things like. vegetables and and meats and I Think.

It's a Grind man I think and this is. obviously coming from someone who not. that nutritionally sound I don't know. what I'm talking about but I think it. would just make sense and then once I. noticed it I just uh are you still doing. Dairy um I try to cut way back but I. still like it I like chocolate milk I. like ice cream too but I cut back but. it's still delicious when you don't I. don't eat cereal anymore because the the. gluten-free cereals are not that yummy. you know I like raisin brand I haven't.

found a gluten-free raisin brand that's. possible yeah I don't even it might. exist but I haven't found one yet so I. stop with my cereal I eat cereal like. sometimes late at night it's like my uh. my cheat meal yeah in front of the TV I. get a big [ __ ] Bowl Kellogg's raisin. brand go off son I cut that [ __ ] out. entirely so I don't really have as much. milk but there's a lot of um like. companies now that just cater to the. gluten-free right there's always new. things coming out dude milk and cookies. are another one I miss yeah I used to.

get these Uncle Eddie vegan whatever the. [ __ ] it is cookies is that what it is. Uncle Eddy I think these vegan cookies. from Whole Foods they're so good peanut. butter and chocolate chip he listen to. me if you're still eating gluten don't. don't you know don't pass up on these. please go get them cuz they're the most. delicious thing ever these vegan. chocolate chip cookies the oatmeal. chocolate chip with a cold glass of milk. I would eat those until I felt sick. Trader Joe's Trader Joe's made a a crazy. veg in chocolate chip cookie too really.

good they're so good I don't know why. they're not they don't taste bad because. they're vegan they taste fine is there a. gluten-free version well I think vegan. just lacking the eggs I don't know what. they bind it with mean is there one that. you can get I haven't seen one I've seen. chocolate chip cookies that are that are. gluten-free they were pretty good pretty. good they can't [ __ ] with those oatmeal. chocolate chip cookies those are. incredible I would go pick them over. non-vegan ones oh yeah that's how good. they are yeah no I've had I always. thought that for me the TJ ones were.

amazing I would sit in front of the TV. like say if I was watching a really good. movie and I would eat a whole bag of. those [ __ ] things it was probably. several thousand. calories a giant glass of. milk I love um there's so many times. I've just been decadent but when you. hear about how many calories some people. can consume like a Michael Phelps type. dude that [ __ ] so [ __ ] awesome I want. to watch meat so badly while he's. training watching me yes yes I do I want.

off yeah I mean they said too that like. uh you know workouts are so intense that. his like get going first thing of the. day might be a few bacon a and cheese. sandwiches yeah and then like everything. goes down it's like all right you're in. the pool and it's just training training. training it's get out and you eat like a. bowl of pasta like you know that's. enough to fill five people's stomachs. you know yeah I think he probably blows. off so much insane energy it's yeah it's.

not even yeah it's got to be you can't. even wrap your head around that what. kind of shit's this guy. taking for real it was feet thunderous. all the time number six it's got to go. somewhere it's got to be number sixes. yeah number six what's a number six on. the Bristol stool chart what is the. stool chart it's how they rate uh your. shits so one through seven one and two. are like you're grinding them out like. they're pretty difficult most of my. shits are not impressive but every now. and then I will give birth to Godzilla. well is it a nice slider oh yeah that's.

a four slider a four even if it's giant. that's that's what you want yeah even if. it's Giant and then five six six is. really sloppy lots of little pieces like. you blew it out your ass yeah and then. seven is all liquid no and are these bad. or good on a scale of good you want. three and fours that's what what you. want three and four three and four is. where it's at three and four is where. it's at three and four I'll tell you. what man a really good [ __ ] that you've. held in for a while is incredibly.

pleasing oh yeah like if you been. holding it in holding it in [ __ ] I got. to get to the to I got to get to it toil. and finally even if you're in a public. bathroom you sit down. just and it's so good that it doesn't. bother you that you're taking a [ __ ] in. a public bathroom you just unload that. Dragon right out of your ass just swims. out destroys there's really no feel it. there's really no feeling like it number. sixes are fun though cuz it's like your. butthole sneezing but the seven one with. the blood is the one that's a hor this.

the one with a blood is seven Seven's. blood Seven's just all liquid no solid. material the thing is do you ever have. when you hold it in and you know it's. going to be a five or six like you ever. have like a for me it's like if you have. a two greasy a breakfast M and it's the. first thing that enters your stomach and. you know when you get up like if you're. at a restaurant you're like this is. gonna this is going to be unbelievable. in the next whenever whenever I can find. a place to sit down this is going to be. a disaster and then you get if you're in. a hotel you get up to your room and it.

is like like religious experience like. yeah I had a recently had a gluten-free. vegan cheese pizza and the vegan cheese. doesn't digest in your body your body's. just like what do you want from me and. then just like the next day it was like. asteroids fireballs and it burnt coming. out even though there it wasn't even. even spicy cheese it was just because it. was vegan cheese stung a little bit yeah. little beast Stingers. oo little beast Stingers on your but.

hole you need to go to a doctor you know. that right told you this before just for. your mind not even for your butt I've. been I've actually I go so what the. doctor say they just go there's too many. of you out there in the world there's. nothing I can do I got a full physical. and everything's perfect everything was. perfect speaking of crazy doctors a. Nigerian guy uh working on uh College. this is this is a college um I saw this. paper unbelievable he proved that gay. marriage is impossible with magnets this.

is the single dumbest thing that anybody. has ever said he it's amazing this isn't. a hoax this isn't the onion no no no if. you go to death and tax mag um I think I. don't think that's a legit. website but this is no I think this is. real I think this is totally real. because every other Story on real so. dumb okay this I I can't even say the. guy's name. Chim.

amalaha a postgraduate student at the. University of Lego in Nigeria has. finally discovered a way to Inc. inconvertible prove that gay marriage is. wrong using a variety of scientific. techniques like magnets and this is. sounds promising this is what he said. this is in quotes to start with physics. is one of the most fundamental of all. the Sciences. and I use two bar magnets in my research. a bar magnet is a horizontal magnet that. has the North Pole and the South Pole. and when you bring two bar magnets and.

you bring the North Pole together you. will find that two North Poles do not. attract they will. repel. so if you push them away from showing. that a man should not attract a. man showing that a man should not. attract a man if you bring two South. bows together you will find that the two. P would not attract indicating that. their same seex marage should not hold a. female should not attract their female. as a South Pole of a magnet does not.

attract a South Pole of a magnet. brilliant brilliant brilliant this is. hilarious this guy actually wrote this. stuff down maybe he's trolling maybe. he's gay as [ __ ] he's slinging dick like. he's handing out churos at a fair and. he's just and he's just like listen I. know what to do here I just tell them. there is no gay Mar. you tell me you attracted to a dick suck. up on my dick I do not believe oh you're. sucking up on my dick I can't even. believe you pretend to like this I have.

to change my mag mag suck up on my dick. I will come in your mouth but only this. one time he uh he should hold a press. conference this guy just so people can. be like uh I'm attracted to um smelly. armpits which magnet can you show me. Will disprove my hard on yeah isn't that. a thing with like a lot of gay dudes. they're into like stinky dudes stink. yeah yeah. I got something for you gay. dudes got Tommy Bun's ready to let you.

know yeah did you ever get attacked or. uh picked on or rather um hit on by gay. sure what do they do to you what's the. number one move hug you do you do you. think first of all were you offended do. you like I don't look that gay no no I. wasn't offended I. mean um I've been I've been so hit on. that I'm like I really feel bad for. women like it puts it in perspective you. know oh right right right yeah like this. guy's a real pig man like I'm not a. piece of meat Jesus I had a comic Corner. me once and get really goofy with me.

yeah I I had Montreal drunk the and it. was so vile I kind of totally understood. like what it must be like for a woman to. get hit out by some sleazy dude sleazy. guy I had a sleazy guy do it too and he. was like uh what what did he say he goes. he was he was a comic and he was. bringing me on stage and he had been. like that's a good shirt on you and all. that you know all this little comp like. all right man and then he was like when. I bring you up and I could tell he was. hammered mhm What If I Kissed You on the. mouth I be like don't do that dude I was. like don't do that he was like all right.

all right I like just oh my God don't do. that a comic was going to bring you on. stage he lick the mic all before he gave. it to. you hoping that some of his saliva will. get into yours yeah no yeah but but he. was just like he was a creep right so I. was like that's that's what a creepy. dude is to you want name names no don't. do it okay well do it. what if it's the same guy it could be. what's the same name the guy no I can't. first name no I don't want to do first. initial no br's got the camera on oh no.

oh here put on. me oh oh oh no no no. no people like forensic with. that I made up an don't worry about it. folks you want to hear something gayer. than. that I was in a restaurant the other day. when this is this is not even gay oh.

okay this is just disgusting okay a. woman uh nothing to do with gay I don't. even say why it's gayer than that a. woman brought in a dog yeah a giant dog. like a lab right and she sat down at a. restaurant and the the lab sat down next. to her table and I go what the [ __ ]. going on and the waitress told her told. me that she has an emot needs dog oh. yeah yeah did you know about those. absolutely Tom Tom has got it yeah you. got an emotional needs dog uhhuh and I'm.

going to get it too M to go to get take. it on the airplane for free get the [ __ ]. out of here wait a minute so if you have. an emotional needs dog like say if you. get your dog an emotional needs dog. license you could take that dog on an. airplane for free um for free for free. yes for free yeah yes I it for small dog. every airline has like a different. policy I mean you like what if someone's. massively allergic to dogs they're. sitting in front of you your dog is. dirty clown like [ __ ] dogs get on. planes where I was like this is a joke.

right like a [ __ ] basset hound and. and to the point where we were all like. what's going on like the same thing. we're on a plane and they were like it's. their [ __ ] emotional needs dog and. emotional needs dog yep and I've seen. I've seen a uh what's it called an. English bulldog you know like a big bu. bulog uh get on same thing like it's. emotional needs dog that is incredible I. couldn't imagine that it would be legal. in a restaurant though that is so crazy.

to me especially one that has an outside. patio and she wasn't even using the. outside patio really this dog dirty open. [ __ ] is just sitting there in the. middle of the dining room yeah yeah not. washed no I mean the dog takes shits. nobody's hosing his ass off before they. bring him out in public and make him. presentable he's just farting right in. front of everybody it said lab man it. was a lab big golden lab yeah crazy. [ __ ] yeah and uh I think did you tweet.

this did you tweet this out yeah yeah it. was a notable person right oh yeah yeah. yeah famous person famous woman that's. funny ridiculous broken. [ __ ] can't bring a [ __ ] dog that is. so it's so rude to bring a big dog into. a restaurant like that and act like. you're King [ __ ] and just sit there with. the dog and Pat it like that idea of. emotional needs dog is so crazy it's so. crazy the problem is look there are. people that are absolutely devastated. and there probably people that if it. wasn't for their dog they probably.

wouldn't even want to be alive there are. people that that that thing really. applies to where it's very guess what. you don't get to bring your dog into a. [ __ ] restaurant doesn't matter you. don't get to bring that big stupid hairy. animal into a restaurant and then. someone touches something that your. dog's butt touched and they get worms. cuz that easily could happen you don't. know if your dog has worms you don't. know what the [ __ ] going on there you. barely take care of that thing how many. checkups you give your dog dog can't. even talk it's a Cali you're going to be. that paranoid though you're going to be. more as paranoid just opening the door.

to go to the bathroom not about paranoid. dude I have dogs of my own you just. don't bring your dogs near a [ __ ]. dinner table it's that simple when. you're you're out there in a restaurant. the dog is literally at the table. putting his face on the table the. person's eating and the dog's right here. she's touching it and then she's. touching the table she's rubbing the. dog's hand and she's picking up the. forks she's T I mean she's a [ __ ] if. she wants to do that I don't do that at. home I don't allow my dogs to [ __ ]. sit right near the off my ice cream. count well you're an idiot that's a dumb. thing you probably have.

Toxoplasma but you you know if people. want to do that at home they choose to. do that at home that's one thing but if. you have that dog around where other. people eat inside a building it's. there's a reason why everybody can't do. it yeah she just wants her dog with her. yeah well there's a reason why everybody. can't do it because this that if it was. totally sanitary anybody would be. allowed to do it we wouldn't even care. right the reason why it's not allowed is. cuz it's unsanitary so to to put other. people's health.

concerns behind your need to be with a. [ __ ] thing that loves you all the. time is incredibly selfish yeah to bring. that into a restaurant and know that you. are violating the standard Health. procedures with a loophole and those. Health procedures were put in place to. make sure that people don't get sick. from other people's dirty ass stinky. dogs what about what about when it's a. service dog where you know the person. needs it but it's still a dirty it's a. it is a problem it's it's it's makes. more sense at least right but it's still.

that dog still there it still is well I. think they should take precautions and. the people that work there should. probably clean up extra good anywhere. around the animal but if like you're a. blind person yeah I hear you it makes. sense but this is not not that this is. just needy crazy California not it's. California that's California needy crazy. famous people California's the first I. remember when I moved here and I started. I was getting like post- production jobs. working in different places right and. sta people on staff from the uh post. production supervisor to a a producer a.

writer to editors there were [ __ ]. like 11 dogs right the first and I was. like what is going on and it was like. well you know we bring our dogs to work. and I was like I've never seen this. anywhere where people just and then. every place I got a gig after that. always had 10 [ __ ] dogs and they were. like well yeah I mean people just bring. their dogs to work I used to bring my. dog to news radio yeah Frank Sinatra the. Pitbull I used to bring him to work and. I used to bring squeaky Squeaky from my. other Pitbull I used to bring her to.

Fear Factor it's a c it's California. yeah Squeaky from was a creepy little. [ __ ] I couldn't leave her at home with. the other dogs oh really she would start. some [ __ ] what's what kind of dog was. that she was a pitbull pit so I'd bring. her with me to work good dog though oh. she was sweetie with people yeah she was. a real sweetie with people she loved. people she hated other dogs though she. didn't like them because they would take. attention away from her she was a rescue. dog mhm and the there's a great thing. about rescuing dogs and that you get to. save a dog from you know most likely. being put down but the bad thing about. rescued dogs is like when I got her she.

was almost a year she had been really. badly abused and so that that almost a. year of her life she had been treated. like [ __ ] and when I came along and. treated her with love anybody that got. between that was like very dangerous to. her like another dog that came in and. tried to get the love like she would. snap at the cat like [ __ ] you better. get the [ __ ] from my man like she wanted. only me to pet her like and when like. she would come running with the other. dogs uh she would growl at them and snap. at them to get out of the way so that. she could get pet she back everybody.

else off yeah yeah she was just a. gangster and were you able Tove that at. all no she killed my dog she killed one. of my dogs did she really she actually. killed two of them who yeah she killed. one of the dogs and then she got in a. fight with the mail until the point. where he had to be put down oh my God. yeah she was crazy they're crazy dogs. the problem with pit bulls is you're. dealing with I and people who get mad at. me for saying this listen nobody loves. those dogs more than I do I've had a few. of them in my life and Frank was an.

amazing dog he he was a beautiful smart. a sweetheart with people with all my. friends he was so kind he was such a. like sweet friendly loving dog but he. was a Hawaiian bore fighting dog like. they used use him to hunt bores and. those dogs were so animal aggressive. because they were bred to go after and. hold on to them they were so smart. because of that they were like really. clever and they had a really high prey. drive and a lot of times in dogs high. prey drive uh is also with high.

intelligence like a lot of those dogs. that get through especially because the. cruel nature of both dog fighting and. using them for animals for hunting and. stuff like that like you have to have. like only the best wildest craziest. strongest bravest dog to breed and. that's how you make like a strong. bloodline so the real problem is like. they're they're bred to do [ __ ] you. don't want them to do they're bred to. fight they're bred to want to kill. animals right so it's it's even if. you're really good at training them. which I was really good at training dogs.

I've been training dogs my whole life. I'm pretty good at it I mean I'm not a. professional I'm not like uh you know. guys who train dogs for shuts in but I'm. pretty good at getting a dog to explain. what I want and I know not to be cruel. to them and always give them love and. when you get a new puppy you spend more. time with the big dog than you do with. the puppy to let the the big dog know. that the little little dogs around. you're going to get more attention. you're going to get more attention like. I'm good at that [ __ ] but they you know. they have a nature they have a nature. from thousands of years of breeding and.

it's really hard to to change it's. really hard to change the wiring right. like it's just not going to a bit I mean. certainly you can develop dogs that are. more aggressive because you promote it. but I did the opposite of promoting it I. tried to discourage it whenever possible. I'm try to encourage love whenever. possible and let make them be sweeties. get get them plenty of exercise I bought. a big yard just cuz I have plenty of. room for them to run around they want. them to be contained doesn't matter. doesn't matter they want to [ __ ] up. other dogs man she still wanted to kill. some they wanted to go to war and she'll. fight to the death you know wow yeah.

it's crazy but there meanwhile she's. slept in my bed she sweetest dog ever. damn she's my baby you know she would go. on trips with me and she would sit right. right beside me in my car seat like if I. drove somewhere I would take her with me. all the time I took her to work all the. time she would sit right next to me just. big stupid face head out the window you. know that's awesome dogs are amazing I. love dogs but you can't bring him to the. restaurant you [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] have. that dog's dirty [ __ ] out there with. my little kids are touching [ __ ] I'm at. one side of the restaurant there's a dog.

the other side's a three-year-old with a. vulnerable immune system and your dirty. stinky [ __ ] do you bring your dog out. me yeah no I don't take my dog to. restaurants but I'm more concerned about. just [ __ ] restaurants these waiters. you with their dirty poop hands they're. [ __ ] I mean I worked at restaurants. so I saw [ __ ] like like oh that guy. pissed me off I'm might to take his. hamburger patty put it against my balls. and put it back on his I saw that [ __ ]. all the time are you serious oh [ __ ]. yeah D I've done it a few times I've. seen how dare you you should lie about.

that really it's been seven years I is. that statue of liberations Legally. people put on their balls oh dude I. there that's horrible I did this one. where this guy kept on he said he wanted. a medium rare steak and so I gave him a. medium rare it was perfect he goes. That's too raw and I'm like do you even. know what a medium rare steak is so we. brought it back medium and then he came. like oh you overcooked it I was like all. right you you didn't know anything so. like when they gave us the steak back I. just wiped it all over my [ __ ] and. then put it back on the plate and then. you fed it to him oh yeah oh Brian rude.

all of your [ __ ] what' your [ __ ]. feel like I think you lost there the guy. didn't even know meanwhile you had steak. juice all over your [ __ ] you put a. hot steak on your [ __ ] yes I [ __ ]. you're a problem didn't some of that. seasoning kind of give it a little kick. spice taste like that steak suck you. know you can't even taste them with your. [ __ ] on that there's definitely a. thing where when you're a waiter and and. the the table is treating you like [ __ ].

sure it's like you know [ __ ] you dude I. don't give a [ __ ] that that you know I'm. working at this restaurant how you're. talking to me right now and so you'll. there's that happens more than ever. that's why like when you complain at. restaurants unless you're cool about it. you got to watch the [ __ ] out because a. lot of people do crazy [ __ ] yeah no. doubt no doubt I think that restaurants. like when I go and I try to be like. super nice to everybody I'm super. cognizant of that you don't want to. treat somebody like [ __ ] that's about to. handle your food you got to be careful. about that man yeah I've seen people uh. do thing I worked at a restaurant I saw.

a dude spit in someone's uh ice cream. shake took a big Haw a Louie and stuck. it in there oh man and for no reason he. just decided to be cute he thought it. was cute he would be try to be funny I. was working as a dishwasher and he was. working as a cook and he would go and. spit on the cheeseburgers and [ __ ] and. flip them that's [ __ ] up man we go. watch this like oh Jesus Christ there. was this restaurant I worked at and. there was a a Band-Aid that was in the. tomato basil soup and one of the wait.

waitresses brought it back I like. somebody put a Band-Aid in the soup and. and I just remember they never replaced. the soup they just got her more soup. from the same thing that the Band-Aid. was in I was in this uh one place in uh. Hawaii and these people were trying to. scam the waiter they were trying to scam. the waiter by saying that the waiter has. to do something about you know their. bill because the rice was too hot. they're like first you brought the rice. over it was cold then you bring it over. and it's so hot it burns her mouth I. mean you guys got to get it together.

here and like they were being like it. was an English guy and he was being loud. and biger it was so bad and so blatant. and it was almost like he was doing like. some undercover camera like showing how. someone could scam a waiter yeah and so. then the guy uh brings over the uh the. uh the manager of the restaurant you. know he insists on speaking to the. manager like he feels like like by the. time the manager gets there the manager. just wants to calm everything down can. we comp your meal sir and they're. working on trying to get the meal comp.

but you could tell the manager knows. this guy's full of [ __ ] of course so he. like lets the guy talk out but the guy. was he didn't even try to calm him down. whether the God was talking like really. loud in this restaurant so it became a. really strange thing where like. everybody was like paying attention to. it it was theater but the manager just. stayed Cal like sir what are you trying. to do like what would you like and the. guy's like well I'm saying you have got. to make amends here this this this rice. was cold and now it's so hot she burned. her mouth like I almost burned my mouth. and he's like and you know you you. didn't have one of the specials on the.

menu I go to order it you're out my good. man you know I'm from London if this. happens in London you know they do. something about it and the guy said what. are you what are you suggesting sir he. goes well I'm suggesting that you you. know take care of our bill or some. something along those lines M and the. guy's like that's not going to happen. sir you know like and so then another. waiter comes over and then they just. hovering over this guy while he pretends. to like be outraged about this he's. trying to put together a scam he just. doesn't have any ammunition yeah yeah. but they they're going for it and I've.

seen it countless times at comedy clubs. so many times at comedy clubs oh yeah. mock indignation and there's a it's. always like it's like a lingering group. like people have left the show and. you're like what's going on there why. are they here right and they're like man. this [ __ ] wouldn't even good like the. food you brought and like you ate it. they're like yeah but it was it was bad. like you ate it you didn't didn't say. anything then they order a shitload too. like they always order like three. appetizer like they just go crazy and. then at the end they tell you I've seen. at a I've seen at a restaurant a guy.

with a big party like these shrimp were. terrible man these were bad like the. ones that you ate an hour ago yeah this. this got to go man I can't I mean you. know there's another problem too that. people do and that's when a bunch of. people go out no a bunch of people go. out and one person gets stuck paying the. majority of the bill a lot of people. don't chip in and then they start what. the [ __ ] man and then people start. complaining well this wasn't even good. I've seen that happen so many times. where people don't pay their share or.

they conveniently ignore the fact that. the check has gone there and start. getting up and grabbing their keys they. don't even act like they're going to. contribute like I've seen that happen. many times where people like one person. shells in like 20 and then a while put. I'll put in 40 but mine was only 20 and. then there's like well then he put in 40. [ __ ] I don't have to put in anything. like people have all go like weird logic. when it comes to paying a bill that. happens every night going to Norms you. know all the comics like 20 Comics all. sitting there and you're like wait a. second and I gave 40 bucks why you know.

oh that's not good all the time just. paying for it half the time nowaday I've. G with groups where I was planning on. you know everyone chipping in something. I'm like I really I have to bust out. credit card and pay yeah crazy amount. more yeah that that can become a problem. man and it also become a problem if they. expect you to pay like if you pay a. couple of times they're like yeah red B. will pay and then they'll started. ordering omelets and [ __ ] hash browns. and like yeah I was going to get orange. juice but [ __ ] Red Man's gonna pay. got my back I was going to have some ice.

water but I'm pretty sure Red Man's. gonna pay I'll get that steak in. eggs yeah I just throw down a 20 at that. point where it's just usually like $5. more than I should I be right here's my. you know you have to do that every you. can see people doing that though if. you're around Long especially Comics are. so opportunistic man the struggling. comic is one of the sleaziest most least. trustworthy animal in in all of. entertainment because they're like part. Criminal part artist yeah you all. wrapped up together like how many. struggling Comics do we know that are.

just a hair from being a criminal yeah. well they're homeless people they all. live in their cars live on the Hollywood. Hills you always take care of [ __ ]. though like I've been turned down to pay. stuff by you every time I've ever yeah. but that's when we're working together. if we that's what when we work together. I take care of everything that's the. deal the deal is I take care of all the. hotel I take care all the meals I take. care of all the it's uh I think it's the. way you're supposed to deal with it you. know it's not your job to be there with.

me you know your job is to do your show. yeah so all the other time all the other. stuff during the day like that takes. away from the amount of money that you. make at a gig you know if you have to. worry about paying all your meals and. paying for a hotel or paying for this or. paying for that that seems like [ __ ]. to me like when you're on the road you. know you're my guest I have it's very. nice you I I have friends that I brought. on the road who assume that I'm in that. position too like oh really well like I. didn't bring I'm like yeah you know I. got you this week and then like they're.

just like let's go out to eat oh same no. and then the bill comes and then you're. like hey man uh yours was 50 bucks what. do you want to do they're like I don't. have 50 bucks that's ridiculous and what. do they what do you say listen [ __ ]. yeah I mean you know certain point. you're just like all right I'm not going. to make a [ __ ] scene unless it were. like real significant I'm just like all. right man good date so they just assumed. that you were going to pay I've had that. happen for sure course that's hilarious.

of course of course that doesn't seem. like something would be normal in fact. one of the reasons why I chose to do. that from the the get-go was all the. people that would complain about like. being on the road with someone and how. much money it would cost oh right yeah. you know yeah and we got to pay for all. my meals so like at the end of the day I. don't make any money and I'm like yeah. you know why you don't make any money. cuz you can't even eat your food you. have at home you know you got to eat out. every meal right you know and there's. you know there's no reason for that I. think if if a guy's doing well did you. see about that guy this is not a comic.

but it was a guy it was a video it was a. clip we played on my podcast on your. mom's house of the guy who's like get. your hands off my penis that guy oh yeah. yeah yeah that guy my dad is that my dad. is that your dad it's so funny though. get your hands off my penis well this. guy if you look at this guy he he does. is do he's doing exactly what we're. talking about he became famous for this. in Australia which is he would go out to. Five Star meals like restaurants and. then when the bill came he would just go.

I don't have any money and they were. like what and he were like I just don't. have any money like I'm I don't have any. money and most of the time they didn't. want to create scenes in these places so. he'd get thrown out sometimes he would. fake a heart attack and like he's like. ah and they'd call an ambulance so so. the priority was on getting him to like. a hospital he became like the most. famous guy for doing this to the point. where he had multiple Court appearances.

and like judges would like you know like. you're a disgrace to you know humanity. and the way this is such a and he'd be. like I'm a terrible person I know here. it's one of the funniest videos in the. world play it play it this is him out of. coming out of a. restaurant you just assured me that I. could speak sit inside the car we not. assuring anything under arrest look I'm. under. what.

gentlemen this is democracy manifest. he's fighting against the cops they. headlock here see that CH over there get. your hand off my penis this is the BL. who got me on the penis people some why. did you do. this for what reason what is the charge. eating a meal a succulent Chinese. meal oh that's nice headlock. up yes I see that you know your Judo.

well good one know your Judo well are. you waiting to receive my limp penis now. dare get. your. amazing I love how it ends even T and. farewell that guy was for the you know. 100th time they all knew him that's what. was going on there they're like you're. the same [ __ ] [ __ ] what a crazy. [ __ ] but if you ran a restaurant what a. pain in the ass a guy like that would be.

a guy who takes advantage of other. people being nice in the rules and he. would also order like extraordinary. bottles of wine he be like. yes and I don't have any money he. probably also runs red lights it's not. for me it's for you chess master he is. he was he's dead yes really what's his. name. um oh that guy died yeah he's died um I. don't remember he died in 03 I think um. his last name I think was Doza do U Za.

do u z I think so um and they think he. might have been you know mentally ill as. well oh no way Robert he kind of reminds. me of Robert it's do duza okay DS o. USA a Hungarian guy yeah in. Australia yeah. that was his that was his succulent. Chinese meal a succulent Chinese meal. lus I think that's the man me and Tommy.

are going to be on the road hold on a. second let's figure this out no that's. not the man I may I'm coming up the. wrong name you're wrong name yeah that's. not him what does it say on that video. you just played Brian uh see man. Australian man get your hands off my. penis man. [Music]. that's not the. guy um not not. duza this says Australian man here it.

is I see the guy. there yeah it just it doesn't say in any. of the videos on YouTube at least that I. see um I I see the video on live. leak item. info get your hands off my penis. H so apparently he was a chess. master. yeah Paul Doo right yeah Paul Paul. Charles Doza dubbed the restaurant.

Runner he was a. Chessmaster wow check mate a former Chef. who dones at expensive restaurants and. then pleads poverty has been convicted. for the 54th time of refusing to pay for. a meal damn conv Charles Doza he was. only 48 there dubb the restaurant Runner. by local newspapers was fined $180 on. Monday for refusing to pay a $50 bill at.

a Chinese restaurant the following day. he dined. out he dined out at the five-star Sheran. Wentworth Hotel then told the staff that. he could not pay the $48 check he was. fin $200 for that offense on Wednesday. and ordered to compensate the restaurant. Doza pleaded guilty but the charges. saying that he was in a state of. inebriation. hm he was a Hungarian Master chess. player and the leading Junior drawing.

with ptit Etc in between in oh in Deen I. don't even know how to say this in. 1956 wow this says that um he sometimes. uh he would eat drink say he was very. ill asked for an ambulance to be called. uh out of concern they would take him. but then one night he was caught when. the same ambulance driver picked him up. from a different restaurant um oh that's. so funny and he sometimes rented a. luxurious apartment paying Advanced rent.

hired expensive furniture I guess rented. that sold the furniture and then. [Laughter]. disappeared wow yeah there's people that. don't play by the rules. man and there's people that are just. [ __ ] crazy too like who knows I mean. this guy easily could have been some. sort of soci sociopath he could have. been just just completely. nuts it's funny though that someone. would be a chess master and that would. be something that would be into doing. can I get the check might I mean it. really if you can deal with the actual.

shame of being told that you're you know. you're delinquent you're not paying you. can deal with that you just got an. amazing meal that you can never afford. you just keep doing it over and over. again it doesn't bother you in the. slightest oh yeah you know what I saw uh. that's [ __ ] hilarious The World's End. oh yeah. pub crawl Simon Peg yeah yeah [ __ ]. funny movie dude [ __ ] those guys are. always great together that was his best. one I like Sha of the Dead Sha of the. Dead was good this was better this was.

really [ __ ] funny it was really good. man it was interesting it's like I don't. want to say too much I don't want to. give it away but it's like two different. movies it's like you're watching one. movie and then all a sudden the movie. changes sort of like when Dust Till Dawn. you remember in the beginning of Dust. Till Dawn like super like serious like. action Thriller and then it becomes this. wacky zany vampire movie yeah yeah this. is not quite as extreme but very very. two two very distinctly different films.

and [ __ ] great man it's great I. really enjoy the [ __ ] out I laughed out. loud like really hard a couple of times. I'm in the theater right now yes yes. it's it's right now I laughed like. really like like good stuff man good. stuff I really like him I like the other. guy too the big guy oh the big guy was. amazing he steals the movie the big guys. the [ __ ] yeah yeah it incredible man it. incredible and they're always together. those two make a lot of movies together. right they're always doing stuff. together yeah yeah because they did they.

did sha the dead what was the one they. did with the um it was like Hot Fuzz Hot. Fuzz yeah that's when there was like the. killer right in town I love that movie I. love all those yeah Shan of my dad is. one of my favorite movies yeah he's a. bad [ __ ] the guy's just funny. he's just funny I mean his sensibilities. he's just really good at being funny. yeah you for whatever reason it's funny. though when I put it on uh Twitter. everybody was like don't you mean this. is the end right like the the same it's. really similar South Rogan they're like. correcting me I'm like no [ __ ] yeah.

I want to see that also though that. looks good I heard good things about. that I haven't seen it either yeah it. looks good James Franco is that right. yeah James Fran they have like a lot of. uh cameos in that oh yeah yeah a lot. like well I mean Craig Robinson uh that. whole crew Jonah Hill Michael uh Michael. like all the guys that you've seen in. those movies separately all make. appearances I think why are so many. chess players crazy I was just thinking. about that somebody show put up a photo. of Bobby Fisher wasn't he nuts oh my God.

he was like crazy racist too right uh. anti-semite like big time what was that. about uh just had a whole thing about. like he hated Jews and then they found. out that he was uh actually part Jewish. Jewish in origin yeah. yeah like. yeah so he's trying to throw him off the. tracks sort of like how Ted hagger would. talk bad about gay people yeah but he. wasn't like um he wasn't the older he. got I think the crazier Fisher got he.

wasn't even subtle about it man he was. very much like well you know I think. there's also an issue with a guy like. Bobby fiser that he's just so [ __ ]. smart and so crazy too smart for his own. good have you ever seen those videos. Brian see if you can pull this up where. Bobby fiser would play multiple games of. Chess simultaneously he would walk in a. room and they would all be playing and. he would walk down the aisle and make. his moves at like 16 different tables at. the same time and then just kind of yeah. he was playing them all in his head at. the same time he was playing them all.

yeah he had all the games calculated up. in his head running simultaneously all. he did was chest man that hurts Myck era. it hurts my dick I feel it in my dick. like from the tip to the base it's too. much work can't just craziness when I. see someone who's just completely. engulfed by something like that that's. just like a some super master that's. completely engulfed in something like. chess kind of freaks me out yeah it's. scary it freaks me out I don't know.

where the I searched for multiple chess. games Bobby Fisher that's not it because. you don't you don't watch the actual. game itself you watch him walking into a. room and he's playing all these games at. the same time there's a great. documentary about him doesn't you did. look up multiple simultaneous pool games. I put Bobby Fisher multiple chess games. he um who like took him in in the end I. think it was like Iceland or. something Iceland someone did right. somebody gave him yeah oh okay Kasparov.

pull up Kasparov you could find him. doing it um Kasparov simultaneous chess. game there's uh Kasparov walking in the. room he's another Super Genius and. there's like a gang of people. here oh yeah it's crazy man this guy's. just walking down this huge table on all. these Geniuses they have notebooks and. pencils and [ __ ] they're all studying. each move and karov walks in and like. literally within seconds he's made a.

move look at this boom [ __ ] you're dead. you're [ __ ] here let me [ __ ] that what. are you going to do here you ain't going. to do [ __ ] [ __ ] suck on that H what. about this oh you can go [ __ ] yourself. and how about oh [ __ ] are you crazy oh. I see what you doing bam slam Checkmate. suck it wow this is like dozens of. people he's playing insane yeah yeah and. Kasparov would just do this on a regular. basis multiple tables of people yeah. three huge long tables of people and he. looks over each chess board no more than.

15 seconds he just looks at them go oh. this is actually a long one look at this. one he's got a huge boner his dick's. getting hard as [ __ ] he's playing a guy. that's good the guy must be good yeah. look he's paused he has to pause he. moved oh [ __ ] there's a little kid right. here he's like not that good good [ __ ]. face look at that kid like how old are. you little. [ __ ] I wonder if there's a limit I. wonder if he gets like 100 tables in his. [ __ ] head. explodes you just a certain amount of.

tables he could do but is he just like. like I I don't play chess only Chinese. checkers but like when he looks at it. does he is it like a math equation. almost to him is he really thinking it. in his head or is it something that he. can just look at the table and go all. right I see what's going on here this. you know what I mean at that level has. played thousands of chess games like. many thousands and knows the. possibilities at his level is like he. has played them he's also done them. himself like I want to try this route.

and that is like it's a map to him for. sure he sees the whole thing yeah and. goes I know how this can go I'm going to. do this yeah I agree it seems like. there's a certain level that they get. where they see things just completely. differently and you and I would it's. almost like grided out for him he sees. the possibilities play. out there's also games where they'll. play three chess games simultaneously. it's like a separate board mhm have you. ever seen that uhuh oh it's I don't I've.

seen like that's a a much larger board. and like three three different sets of. pieces are all going at it at the same. time yeah I don't get do all of it just. too much man it's not not enough time in. the world I would like to see Chess. Masters versus how much [ __ ] they get. like on a chart like how great you have. to be like casparo at his best how. little [ __ ] he was getting like you. can't be getting. any you're not any well we would like to.

think they don't get any we would like. to think as men who can't play chess be. like yeah but he ain't getting any [ __ ]. yeah that would help us right I yeah I. would feel better about that yeah I. don't want him to think that he's way. smarter than me and he gets a lot of. [ __ ] uh I think he I think a guy though. at that level with what he's doing his. time to to indulge in his interest of. [ __ ] is not that great well I think. he's probably such a bad [ __ ]. too he probably can't even talk to. regular people yeah right exactly like. if he if you were if he was gay and he.

had to [ __ ] you the conversation he. would have with you would be like Jesus. Christ you just shut up and suck it. tired of talking to you Tom you don't. know [ __ ] and I don't care about. football I have a 100 games going on. right now in the basement they're. waiting for me suck my carck like it's. just a biological function right just I. just got to empty this maybe load right. now well you know that was the the story. of n Tesla I mean Nicola Tesla allegedly. destroyed his sexuality that was the uh. the quote and the idea was that he got. so flabbergasted by uh a relationship.

that he was having it was so emotionally. taxing he decided to just kill his dick. really yeah he shock it I don't know. there it's an ambiguous term that he. used that he killed his. sexuality you don't think guys like. kaspr and Fisher connected with girls. who are like you're really good at chess. maybe maybe you're really good I saw you. do all those moves yeah totally beat him. he I need to find that quote cuz it's a.

really weird. quote his sexual. desire yeah he's he was a weird guy man. but the the other thing about Nicola. Tesla man is that he was so [ __ ]. smart you would have to be crazy to be. that. smart I mean there's really no way. around it yeah I think everybody all. these guys Fisher all those guys were. they were what is it like um Savant. where they weren't you know they.

couldn't have regular conversations well. Tesla also had some strange quote about. pulling signals from other worlds that. you know he was receiving communication. from other worlds and was getting some. ideas from from other worlds he had a. really bizarre mind. but the thing about it is you can't deny. the effectiveness of it it's it's real. weird when someone is an obvious genuine. 100% Bonafide Super Genius to the point.

where a guy like me can't even. understand how this guy could come up. with so many patents I mean he has so. many [ __ ] patents so many different. like light and illumination based. systems designed by Tesla Dynamic. electric machine communicators the first. patterns issued to Tesla in the US he. just he just did amazing [ __ ] he. developed alternating current like. before that was just direct current you. couldn't have like a toaster and like a. car plugged into the same port oh and he.

designed it so he designed alternate. current so it would work with different. [ __ ] do you think that like the reason. like we are designed so that it doesn't. frustrate us how much smarter people. like that are yes than us yeah like with. the math thing that we were talking. about I think I think there's a giant. spectrum of human beings first of all. and I think that there's a reason why. personalities vary so much I think it's. part of the whole machine that keeps. Society moving yeah it's like that there.

has to be Jokers and there have to be. serious people and there have to people. that are obsessive about things and. there have to be people who are lazy. there have to be people that accept. shitty jobs and people that want the. best of everything always and they have. this insatiable desire to get the most. expensive car and the most expensive. wife they're almost like machines. pushing entropy they're almost like. machines pushing momentum and it's like. these various different variations in. personality from the full spectrum of. incredibly lazy to insanely ambitious.

yeah it's almost like that's important. that it all mixes together and it acts. as like a machine yeah you know that's. what I think I mean it makes sense to me. that everything that we see is natural. all behavior is natural whether it's. behavior in wolves or honeybees or you. know coyotes whatever it is is behavior. of animals is natural including almost. all the behavior that human beings. exhibit including materialism and then. it's almost like materialism is just. another way that we can show our peacock.

feathers and our domination outside of. actual physical contest and fighting and. that weig figured out this variable. where a guy does not have to be handsome. does not have to be have great genetics. but if he's got a brilliant mind like a. Bill Gates Type character he can rise to. the top and be like one of the sexiest. catches a woman could ever hope for you. know many supermodels would love to go. out with Bill Gates oh my goodness if. Bill Gates was single let's just say if. Bill Gates was single and he just. decided you know what I'm 70 it's time. to slink dick and Bill Gates just went.

on a goddamn tear if he could get the. hottest most perfect women and they. would be flabbergasted that they were. with Bill Gates like oh my God I can't. believe Bill Gates yeah just BL I want. to be yours honey baby I I don't care. about looks it's what's important to me. his personality and you're so amazing. you're so kind to me just wants to. cuddle with him and take [ __ ] and. diamonds and just get diamonds every day. new diamonds and diamonds here and. everything is made of diamonds her whole. house is. diamonds forget to take the pill pretty.

off whoopsies got another baby coming. whoopsies yeah awesome insurance policy. load yeah but that's that's part of like. this whole evolutionary system it's. almost like it's it's designed that way. it's designed as being another Outlet. you can get the lired Hamilton thing. where you just like this beautiful man. this gigantic or you know it could be. wnc you know. cuz wnc little chubby guy with a billion. dollars in the bank you know he makes. him quite attractive oh my God I'm so. into circuits you know yeah it's weird.

it's these weird variations of what. makes someone attractive and these weird. variations in personality that sort of. push push you know the whole machine the. whole machine of culture materialism. also applies to like what your sense of. self-worth you know people get you get. things for yourself to make yourself. feel to pum pump yourself up you know. yeah this is an expensive thing I got it. therefore people will associate me with. this thing dude Tesla invented.

X-rays I investigating did you really. yeah that's my [ __ ] that's your [ __ ]. that's your Tesla may have been the. first person in North America to. accidentally capture an x-ray image when. he tried to photograph Mark Twain. illuminated by an earlier type of gas. discharge tube the Geer tube in in 1895. the only thing captured was an image in. the image was the metal locking screw on. the camera lens soon after much of. Tesla's early research hundreds of. invention models plans notes laboratory.

ideas tools photographs valued at. $50,000 was lost in the Fifth Avenue. laboratory fire of 1895 oh my God. laboratory fire wink wink yeah they came. in torched that place stole his notes. created x-rays yeah wor a lot of money. he probably got ganked many times over. for sure yeah it's incredible incredible. yeah he had something to do with the. invention of radio waves too Jesus man a. radio rather um he I think he had the.

first um radio controlled remote. controlled car or a boat he had a remote. control boat yeah 1898 Tesla. demonstrated a remote controlled boat. 1898 dude I mean what the [ __ ] in 18 he. called it tea automation. incredible it was in Madison Square. Garden he he demonstrated his electric. radio controlled boat in Mazda Square. Garden that's what a big deal it was the. guy had a remote control boat and.

everybody was. like gasp that's so long ago to come up. with that it is incredible incredible he. he invented a lot of [ __ ] that's like a. [ __ ] spaceship to those people he was. also in love with a pigeon really yeah. he was in love with his pigeon he like. had a special relationship with a pigeon. like Iron Mike I think it's different. reincarnated who's Iron Mike Tyson oh. Tyson yeah no I think his relationship. with a the pigeon might have been more. romantic see flight flies away when it's.

done g. e a flashlight go clean yourself in the. pool yeah he had a lot of weird [ __ ]. with. pigeons really it's such a unique one to. be down for yeah I love that pigeon as a. Man Loves a Woman and she loved me as. long as I had her there was a purpose to. my life yeah that's pretty that's. spelled out right there he became a. vegetarian in his later years living on.

only milk bread honey and vegetable. juices what about bird feed no birdfeed. that's sad that's for his for his pigeon. he loves one he bought injured pigeons. back to his hotel room to nurse back to. health so he basically kind of a crazy. guy lived in a hotel he really couldn't. like take care of himself he was just a. Dutty dude got some pigeons made a lot. of [ __ ] Brian you're like a pigeon made. a lot of cool [ __ ] you're a pigeon. listen there's no need to be mean to. each other all right this podcast. basically over if you love Tommy buns.

like I love Tommy buns and you live in. Toronto tough [ __ ] sold out damn last. last I checked there was very little. tickets really yeah a a smitter a. handful but it'll be me Tommy buns and. Brian Ken Thursday night and uh I just. signed up to do the Comedy and Magic. Club. next weekend the 27th and the 28th big. fun I I love Mike guy who owns that. placea beach baby and then after that. I'm at the Ontario. Improv um I got a lot of [ __ ] happening.

people I'm trying to do a lot of stand. up now I'm really enjoying the [ __ ] out. of it now that my TV show's done I feel. a a weight is lifted off my shoulders a. breath of fresh air under my wings like. a butterfly sore Tommy buns yeah you can. fly now I'm [ __ ] excited I'm going. that's going to be awesome I'm going to. go with Brian next week this that's. right to columus Ohio the number one new. gay spot on earth we're going to do a. gay show the bear has landed it's going. to be fun we're going to be with Tony. henchcliffe and Christina yeah it's. going be a huge show and then Christina.

and I go do a bunch of like one night. where's your website so they can find. the dat tom sig.com tom sagur. s.com going everywhere Nashville. Birmingham Charlotte Atlanta all over. the world sis all over the world. worldwide um the tomorrow podcast Matt. fultron he'll be in tomorrow the full. charge and then uh Wednesday Kathleen. Madigan and then Thursday we'll see you. [ __ ] north of the Border all right we. love the [ __ ] out of here and uh we'll. see you soon big girl m.

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