Joe Rogan Experience #2512 - Joey Diaz

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. >> The Joe Rogan Experience. >> TRAIN BY DAY. JOE ROGAN PODCAST BY. NIGHT. All day. >> All right, brother. Hey, what's. happening? What's going on? >> Same [ __ ] Great to be here. >> Great to see you. How you feeling? >> My knee like a tiptop [ __ ] my goo. >> Your knee. I can't believe you could. walk so quickly after getting the knee. fixed again. >> It was like 3 days, man. >> That's nuts. But yesterday I [ __ ] it. up at Newark airport because I wanted to.

walk, >> you know, but it was like like I walk. every day at the gym and then I walk my. neighborhood for breakfast and after. dinner. But that's a loop, >> you know. This was 10 loops yesterday. So, thank God I had a baggie with. edibles with me on the plane. I ate the. edibles and I put I asked the [ __ ]. flight attendant. She give me some ice. and that's how I got it down. Then I You. rub it with that bortto [ __ ] That. liquid cocaine juice. It's. >> what? >> Yeah, it's a cream that [laughter] that. became illegal. You buy it over the. counter. >> What is that? >> It's Vora something. Vor, don't quote.

me, man. >> But it's a good cream. It numbs your. eye. You have to rub it though twice a. day and. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. But it's [ __ ] feels fantastic. >> I've never heard of it. >> Yeah. Voltron. Voltrax. >> Vol. >> Don't listen to me, dog. Just [laughter]. Google. What's that? Is that it? Voltran. See, I'm. >> Volter. Arthritis pain. And you just rub. it on your knee. >> Yeah. A couple times a day. Anything. that hurts. What is it? >> It's like a [ __ ] gel with cocaine. that takes care of the [laughter]. [ __ ] situation for you.

[snorts]. >> Prescription strength over-the-counter. non-steroidal anti-inflammatory that. penetrates the skin to relieve joint. pain, inflammation, and stiffness. Interesting. I never heard of it before. Widely used for osteoarthritis and. muscle aches. Should not be used for. acute injuries like simple strains or. bruises. Wonder why. Why can't you use it for strains or. bruises? Does it say why? That seems weird. Cuz. like that's what people use um like.

ibuprofen and [ __ ] for. Wonder why you. can't use. >> like I couldn't use any of that [ __ ] I. could only use Tylenol, whatever the. [ __ ] that is. I couldn't take ibuprofen. after the surgery. >> No. >> Have you ever used DMSO? >> I don't know what that is, Joe. >> That's this [ __ ] right here. >> You rub it on? Yeah, they uh that's. another horse tranquilizer. Another. horse medication. >> Yeah, they they use it in veterinary. applications, but it's a it's really. good for pain. For pain and injury, take.

that. Keep it. >> Okay. >> No, I have a bunch of them. >> Thank you. >> I buy I buy [ __ ] in bulk. >> We were talking about [snorts] La Zato. >> Yeah, >> that was the early steroids which were. the 70s. >> We don't know what the [ __ ] we were. getting in the 70s. Everything came from. Germany. I think. >> I think they were getting. >> the Roblin all that [ __ ] I think they. were getting human growth hormone from. cadaavvers. See if that's true. Jamie, put that into our AI sponsored. Perplexity. Did they used to get human. growth hormone from cadaavvers? I think.

they did. I think that's how they used. to get it. >> What do you get human growth hormone. from now? >> That's a good question. Um, I don't. know. I don't know how they do it. It's. synthetic. I know it's synthetic. So it. must be they isolate the molecule, they. figure out how to reproduce it and then. they make it somehow. I have no idea. Um. but the way they used to do it back then. cadaavver derived human growth hormone. was real used mid 1900s to 1985 and.

turned out to be dangerous because it. sometimes trans transmitted pron. diseases like kruxfel jacob yuckub and. is no longer used and has been fully. replaced by synthetic recombinant HDH. So, uh, Crutzfeld Yuckup disease, that's. mad cow disease. It's the same kind of. disease. And what it comes from is it's. the same thing that cannibals get. When. people eat human brain tissue, they they. get and and neurons and that kind of. [ __ ] You get this same disease. Ala was.

one of the first US sports figures to. admit using anabolic steroids in the. last year of his life as he battled. against the brain tumor which eventually. caused his death. Alzador asserted that. his steroid use abuse, his steroid abuse. directly led to his fatal illness. He. recounted his steroid abuse in an. article Sports Illustrated. I started. taking anabolic steroids in 69 and never. stopped. Now I'm sick and I'm scared. I. was addicting mentally. It was addicting. mentally and mentally addicting. 90% of.

athletes I know are on the stuff. We're. not born to be 300 lb or jump 30 feet. I. became very violent on the field. Off it. too. I did things only crazy people do. Once in 1979 in Denver, a guy sideswiped. my car. I chased him up and down the. hills through the neighborhoods. I did. that a lot. I chased a guy, pulling out. of his car, beat the hell out of him. But look at me now. I wobble when I. walk. And sometimes I have to hold on to. somebody. You have to give me time to. answer questions because I have trouble. remembering things. >> He died at 43. >> 43 from cancer.

>> That's how old I am. >> Wow. >> He didn't look good at the end. Like he. wore the bandanas. Al Ela was Jewish. >> Says he was inducted into the Jewish. Hall of Fame. >> What did it say? Bo, go back to that. what I was just reading. >> International Jewish. >> Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. I didn't. even know that existed. >> Okay. Uh, so. I don't know if that was that stuff that.

growth hormone did that, but. >> Well, listen, he's saying he can't walk. at the end. and they can't remember. That's the. >> the knocks to the head and mixed with. whatever was going on. >> Yeah. I mean, there's. >> with everything else, it becomes. something else. You know, >> I lied. >> A midst massive. That's one of those. lies that like everybody, you know, it's. like when bodybuilders say they're. natural. Like, shut the [ __ ] up, [ __ ]. Nobody's that big. Nobody's that big. without help. There's a bunch of goofy. guys out there that still try to claim. natural. Like, come on, son.

>> How many [ __ ] steaks do you eat a. day? like the Barbarian Brothers. 36. eggs. >> There's some guys that have freak. genetics. They have very unusual. genetics and they get real big. naturally, but that's rare. That's super. super rare. >> As a matter of fact, I got [snorts]. picked up by an Ubie yesterday. Guess. who was the driver? >> Who? >> Yoel Romero's nephew. >> No way. >> And he's a judo champion. >> No way. >> We talked in Spanish for about 15 20. minutes. >> in Jersey or here. >> Right here. He lives cuz all these Uber. drivers are Cuban. >> Really? >> All of them in Austin.

>> They're all getting replaced by robots. >> [ __ ] that. The Cubans. I saw a Cuban. yell at the robot a couple last time I. was here. [laughter] He got out of the. car yelling at the car and he realized. and he got back in the car. My bad. >> That's hilarious. >> The guy cut him off. >> They cut you off all the time. It's. [ __ ] way up. >> No, I stay away from those. >> They get right in front of you. They're. They're ridiculous. >> I don't trust those cars at all. And I. don't see how people sit I don't It's. not for me, brother. >> Did you hear about that lady? She got. into one and a homeless guy was in the. back. >> No. >> Yeah. Some guy used the Whimo. He got.

his luggage out, left the hatch open. probably figured the the thing closed. itself. It didn't. Homeless guy hopped. in, shut the door. Lady gets the way mo. There's a homeless guy in the back. He. starts yelling at her for paying robots. Why you paying robots? [laughter]. I got to tell you about my homeless. situation this week, Joe. >> Oh, no. >> So, my daughter played at Egg Harbor. this weekend. It's like 25 minutes. outside of Atlantic City, which is an. hour and a half from my house. So, we. went down for Saturday's tournament. They won. Now, we got two more games on.

Sunday. So, we got a hotel. I didn't. want to get a hotel at Oceans. I'm going. to be at Oceans in August, but I didn't. want to get go there because all the. other parents were in [ __ ] uh Harris. So, I said, "Fuck it. I don't want to be. that guy. Oh, I'll stay at Harris with. you." So, the game ended and my wife had. to drive the kids somewhere and I go, "You know what?" Because every time, every weekend when I go on those little. trips, I go to a weed store. Like last. week, I went into one in Trenton. Dog, this was a block from the state capital. You could see the dome. The black guy.

called me back and he goes, "No, no, no. I got a secret place in the back." He. had mushrooms. Mushroom chocolate. >> Don't say this. You're gonna get in. trouble, >> dog. There's 18 stores in [ __ ] uh you. know, you got to figure it out. I'm not. ratting nobody out. They know what's. going on. The cops. >> They got a back I mean that packaged. mushrooms all different flavors. Blue. Hawaii whole thing. >> This week I go to Atlantic City. I go to. this one Everel whatever. It's supposed. to be the big one. >> The big one. >> The big weed store in Atlantic City. And. it's right by the casino. So, as I pull.

up, I park my car in front. As I walk. out, there's four yolked brothers. Yolked with gold chains on in one of. those [ __ ] suburban millionaire cars. What do you call the big truck. >> Escalades? >> No, the other one. The the one that. looks like they're attacking your town. Not the. >> Oh, AMG G Wagons. >> I don't [ __ ] know. Anyway, they're in. there. They're in there bumping [ __ ] and. they see me and they go, "Yo, we know. you." And I go, "Yeah, what up, brother? Hold on. I'll catch you on the way out.". I thought by the time I got out they. would leave.

>> Right. >> So I went in, I come out and they're all. outside their cars. All four brothers. Yo, big gold chains like, "Yo, you're. the [ __ ] that goes on Rogan.". No, that's the [ __ ] from the. longest yard. We looked you up. So. they're talking to me, talking to me. We're rocking and rolling. Rogan. [snorts] the UFC. Yo, what do you think. about that? And I'm loving it. But in. the middle of all this, this black. little homeless crackhead walks his way. over and I could hear him ask the other. guy, "Who's this white motherfucker?". And the black guy goes, "That's the dude.

from The Longest Yard. You know the. football movie." The black guy comes. over and I see him. Walk right over. He. goes, "Hey, Mr. Football Man, why don't. you break out a dollar for me?" He just. bummed me out a dollar. I had to give. him 10. I was so [ __ ] embarrassed in. front of you break out a dollar for me. >> Why don't you break out a dollar for me, Mr. Football Star? I gave him a 10. This. [ __ ] ran. He walked up with a. limp, but he ran away. >> Like, he was going right for crack. I'm. like, these [ __ ] they got a. game for everything. >> I love it. I love all that [ __ ] Joe.

>> It's fun to be around wacky people every. now and then. >> Just people living on the edge. >> But that Atlantic City outside those. casinos, bro, that shit's real. >> We saw a drug transaction right on the. street when we were down there last. >> Bro, I'm surprised you didn't see a. hooker get mugged or something like. that. [laughter]. They are not [ __ ] around. I took a. ride Saturday night about 10. Just take. a little ride. >> Sketchy, >> bro. You make a ride in some of those. corners, you ain't coming back. >> And I thought by now they'd at least. build up the outside of AC. >> No, no, no, no, no, no. It's barely.

making money. You know, a AC doesn't do. well. Not like Vegas does. You know what. I mean? Like AC's got some nice spots. You can go there and have a good time, but it's not like it's going to grow. >> You go to Borgat with the Italians and. [ __ ]. >> The outside's too sketch. the Borgata. All the Italians go down with their. white shoes on the week. Hey, it's got. old. What up? You know, >> but no, they I don't like the Borgata. that much. I like the I like the couple. hotels down there. >> There's some nice places. >> Yeah, we stayed in the BA when it first. opened. You and I, you had a gig there. You had a gig there. >> That's right. The thing is, it's not.

going to grow like Vegas is. You know, Vegas is crazy. See, when Vegas had a. head start. The thing like if they tried. to make Vegas now, oo, tough cell. Tough. sell. Too many places to go. You can. gamble everywhere. You can gamble on. your phone now. But when Vegas was. first, there was no casinos in the. country, dog. It was just Vegas. And I. wonder if they made some sort of a deal. Well, let them blow off atomic bombs. They blow off these atomic bombs and. then we'll, you know, we'll put the.

casinos in. >> What's the difference? But then we. looked it up and it turned out they made. Vegas before the atomic bomb. So I'm like, well, what? I guess it was. just gangsters. They just bribed people. or convinced people. There was nothing. going on there. >> It was a pit stop. They opened up Vegas. for a pit stop for American soldiers to. stop on the way or something like that. >> Well, was it in the 30s, right? Was it. the 30s, Jamie? >> Then the guy that owned the comedy store. >> when Vegas was created.

>> Yeah. And the guy that owned the comedy. store, he was in charge of Vegas and he. robbed and they shot him. >> Same guy as the comedy store. >> Same guy as the comedy store. So. >> he was in charge. >> He's [ __ ] genius. That [ __ ] that. [ __ ] was a genius. Well, he got. shot because he stole at the end the. expenses and. >> Oh, is that what it was? >> The casinos, you know, he gave in those. days they borrowed money from the unions. in Chicago. >> And then you borrowed that and you. worked off those uh teamster loans, >> those Jimmy Hoffer loans. >> Oh, yeah. >> So, you had to build on those. Well, the.

expenses never stopped, >> right? >> And they were like, "What the [ __ ] is. going on?" And he was hanging out with. Jane Seymour or something, going back. and forth like a millionaire, like a. movie star, and they ain't lagging. They. shot him. >> That's why they shot him, >> I think. So, they shot him in his house. in his eyeball or something. >> Yeah. In his eyeball. >> Something like that. I remember that. So, >> yeah, there's a picture of his dead body. allegedly online. >> in LA, right? They shot him in LA. >> So, that was all because of the casinos. Huh. >> But then they made it, you know, it's. like when we first went to Denver. The. money was too good. >> I don't give a [ __ ] if if it's Jesus and.

his three disciples, they're going to. take that envelope. It's too good. >> Well, you know what it was going on in. the beginning? They weren't allowed to. use credit cards, so everything had to. be cash. >> Cash. Yeah. And it was crazy. So these. guys were leaving the [ __ ] and they. bring like six special forces guys with. them. They'd have [ __ ] green berets. and Navy Seals and [ __ ] like armed to. the tits because they're transferring. millions of dollars in cash. >> So the whole thing was nuts, man. It was. nuts. I I read this story about the. dilemma like these people are making all.

this money and the crazy thing is the. state was making all that money too. because the taxes on the legal weed. Look this up, please. >> It's amazing. >> I think it was like 39%. >> It's [ __ ] crazy. >> And everybody was like, "Sure.". >> Like, you would never accept 39% on. alcohol. You never accept 39% on ground. beef. >> No. >> But 39% on weed. You're like, "I'll take. it.". >> During the pandemic in LA, you had to. buy an extra tax to go open. That's why. they called them uh what do they called. those businesses that had to be open?

>> Dispensaries. >> No, no, no. They're businesses that they. had a purpose to be open during the. pandemic. >> Oh, right. Essential. >> Essentials. Yeah. They made that. essential, but they they charge an extra. t 10% tax. You know, >> they're making so much money off weed in. California. >> But now look at all the weed stores. They're starting to close, >> are they? >> And in Jersey, they created a dilemma. because the state convinced them that. they had a build and all this [ __ ] So. all these places started, you know, you. you're opening up a shop minus 3 mil. Listen, it's a lot of $20 bags to get.

the three three mil. >> A lot. And not only that, there's a lot. of competition. How many weed stores are. in LA? It's bananas, >> bro. In Englishtown, New Jersey. There's. four of them. And here's where it gets. better. They're all on the same block. >> Wow. Do you Did you ever go to that. place in Englewood with me back when it. was uh Only Medical? The Englewood? >> We used to get the lollipops. Yeah. >> Yes. Yeah. I went there one time with. you. >> You know, the guy that ran that got. shot. >> That dude that we used to deal with, he. got shot in that store. >> They killed him. >> No, I think he lived. Uh I'm not sure.

though. Look that up. He might have. died. >> Yeah. It's the first place you had the. lollipops from on Fear Factor. >> Yes. >> It was from that guy, right? >> Yeah. Englewood Wellness Center. That. was in the '9s. That was in the days. where it was uh legal uh if you had a. medical reason. And any medical reason. would do. Oh, my feet hurt. Get in. there. [laughter]. >> Sign them up. >> But anybody who does martial arts uh has. the pain excuse because everybody's in. pain and it does help you with pain.

There's a like if you could take. aspirin, THC, like gummies with CBD are. phenomenal for aches and pains, man. >> You remember Dave Foley? >> Yeah. >> Dave Foley's hand, Of course you do. Dave Foley's hand was all [ __ ] up from. arthritis. He started taking CBD and now. his hand is full function again. >> CBD is amazing. >> CBD's They just blew it up out of. content a couple years ago. >> Well, who knows who's making it and what. the quality, right? But no, >> that's the things when when things are. gray, you get a bunch of douchebags.

making stuff. You know, I used to have a. bit about that about the gummy bears. Like they're not making these gummy. bears in the same labs where they're. making Tylenol. They're very. inconsistent. You get one of them, you. swear it's a thousand milligrams and the. other one feels like it's like a 100. They barely make sense. Back in the day, back in, you know, when the it was the. wild west, >> I got 500 milligrams in my pocket. They. feel [laughter] like 500 milligrams. whether you take. >> Well, now I don't think you could do. that anymore. I'm talking about like way. back in the day it was different because. way back in the day there was like it.

was the wild west. >> First of all, way back in the day they. didn't put warnings on this [ __ ] No. >> You didn't know how many milligrams were. in this stuff. And I remember eating a. brownie one time and flying up to. Pittsburgh and the red eye and my leg. wouldn't stop tapping. Like [laughter]. it wouldn't stop [ __ ] tapping. >> I remember one time we were on a plane. You had a panic attack and then you. waited like an hour later and then. popped two more. [laughter]. >> [ __ ] yeah. I was like, "How are you. doing that?" You're like, "Joe Rogan, I. almost got off the plane. I couldn't. take it. I couldn't breathe. My [ __ ].

heart was closing. It was like my chest. was closing in on me. The walls were. closing in. I thought the plane was. going to crash. I was freaking out. I. almost had turn the [ __ ] plane. around. >> But I'm back, baby. Two more.". >> You have no idea what I put myself. through over the years. >> Why do you do that? >> Because I just want to take a chance. Columbus did. I mean, [laughter]. I'm sitting at home. It's 2:00 in the. afternoon. You're bored as [ __ ] be like. the devil. >> Let's see what happens. And the only. thing that would hold me back is if I. had a spot that night. >> Oh, yeah. >> Then I would tame it and be like a.

couple hundred milligrams. But. >> you don't want to go up on stage with. too much edible. >> Yes, you do. >> Sometimes. Yes, you do. Sometimes you. need to. >> It's important. Sometimes Sometimes it's. important to go off into the woods, right? Yeah. Sometimes you should stay. on the trail. >> Yeah. But listen, you're filming a. special. Stay on the trail. >> Last week I went to do a spot. I. figured, let me wait five weeks. I. haven't been on stage since April 18th. Let me go do a spot. I'm nervous. I get. down there and there's 50 people. Perfect. Break my cherry. Do it.

[clears throat] I got into such a. groove. I ended up doing an hour. That. was because the edible I took before I. went on stage. No material. I told you. that I got nothing. >> Right. >> That's it. I'm starting over from. scratch. >> Got nothing. I talked about going to the. hospital and then it just became. something else. And at the end, I was up. there an hour. >> Wow. >> My leg was starting to [ __ ] throb. But did you film it or record or. anything? >> No, I just I didn't know it was going to. be gold. I just. >> Right. Right. >> But that's why THC somebody said THC is. >> like a a ban substance for comics.

because it make if you really let it. absorb you and I'm not telling you to. smoke pop, but that I had an audition. Whenever I have an audition, I read it, >> I put it away, I get stoned, and then I. go back and I look at it again. Complete. different sheet. >> Now I can pick out things. Now I could. point then I leave it again. I get high. and I come back like an hour later. And. that's what I think THC makes me just. relax. Look, look, I live in anxiety. naturally. Naturally. I beat myself up. This morning it's 8:30. I'm drinking.

coffee outside the four seas. I'm like, why am I thought I had somewhere to go, >> dude? >> I got nowhere to go. >> You just gave yourself an anxiety for no. reason. >> Yeah, cuz I always think I got somewhere. to [ __ ] go at 10:00 in the morning. That's why when my daughter gets on that. bus to school at 7:15, I start blasting. [laughter]. >> because then I know I ain't got nowhere. to go. Like, you know, you make a list. every day and you go, "This is what I'm. going to do today.". >> And then you [ __ ] uh, you know, wake. up and you look at that list after you. smoke and you're like,

>> "That's a long drive up to New York City. today. I ain't doing that podcast." You. know, [laughter]. that's a [ __ ] long drive up to that. [ __ ]. >> Yeah, the driving in New York is not a. joke. That's an endeavor. >> Yeah. No, >> you got you got to take a day. Like. that's your day. Your day is driving in. and driving out. You're not going to the. gym. You're not doing all that other. stuff. No. I'm saying if you you've got. to drive into New Jersey. That's your. day. It's not like, "Oh, I'll go there. That's at noon. I'll hit the gym at. 2:30." Uh-uh. No. You won't. You'll be.

in traffic for 3 hours. >> 3 hours. >> I always go to do that [ __ ] early and. get it over with. And uh like on days. that I have to go to the city up north, I'll just take that as a day off. Like. I'll work that day before so I could go. up there comfortably and not sweat it. >> Yeah. >> But it's got some days I get up and I'm. not going up there. I got to work out. today. >> Listen, this is one of the big things. that Texas has or Austin has in. particular over the East Coast is the. [ __ ] traffic. The traffic here is a. joke. They talk about traffic. It's.

adorable. You might be 10 extra minutes. >> Whoopdedoo. It's adorable. Occasionally. a car accident happens and there's a. bunch of people stopped. That [ __ ]. happens everywhere in the world, but for. the most part, the East Coast is so. thick with people. You don't realize it. until you have to make that trip to New. Jersey and back and forth. You know, when we do uh the UFC's, if we go into. New Jersey uh to the UFC and then with. the weigh-ins, then we have to go back.

to New York to play pool. >> at 6:00. That's cool. Oh my god, it's. crazy. Go to New York to eat and to play. pool and it's [ __ ] it's a mad house. >> Think about it what it was like the last. two weeks. Jim Florentine said he went. into the city Saturday was 3 hours. because of the Nick [ __ ] They. weren't even playing. >> They weren't even playing. >> People were so upset that Trump was. going to go to the NBA because if he's. there then they have all these crazy. security protocols. It makes the traffic. even worse.

>> There was no parties. There was no. nothing. He should stick to the UFC. They're going to boo him everywhere. else. >> Oh, they booed him to I didn't watch the. whole game. I was out and about. >> Some people cheered. I heard it was like. cheers and booze. But the problem is if. there's cheers and any booze if there's. like 50/50 like that's that's don't. don't go to that spot. Go to the UFC. People say he got booed at the UFC. I've. seen him at the UFC. six times or something like that. I. don't know how many times. Never get. booed. >> They love him. >> He's never gotten booed. They [ __ ].

cheer. The people that say they're they. boo him, you're distorting reality, it's. not true. They cheer him like he he. walks in there to the American Badass. song, especially if Kid Rock is with him. and Dana White's behind him and then. sometimes Tucker Carlson was there too. back on when they were close. It was. like the conservative Avengers. He was. like, "This is ridiculous.". >> He was the kiss of death last night. I. bet against the Knicks last night, me. and Jamie, we were like, "Fuck that.". Getting two and a half. Why they only. giving two and a half? They're up two. schemes. What are you a [ __ ].

>> Two and a half. They were given last. night. Everybody in their mother, even. [ __ ] your daughter bet the Knicks. last night giving two and a half. >> Do you um bet sports all the time? >> How often you bet [snorts]. >> this type of the year? I bet basketball. because it's real. There's defense. >> Do you use uh do you use an app like. what do you DraftKings? You do it on. DraftKings. >> Everything is on DraftKings. >> All right. You don't have a bookie? >> No. >> Yeah. >> No. I enjoy because DraftKings has so. many fun. Like there's bookies out. there. Like they just keep busting these.

mafia rings in Jersey and New York. 39. people. They had the big bust last year. with the basketball coaches that they. put the cards up and you could see. through the [ __ ] cards on the table. It's it's gambling has grown to a. [ __ ] nightmare. We're going to pay. for this in 5 years. But when I went to. college after orientation, you walked. out and there was credit card companies, Discover, Mastercard, Visa, and they. give you a credit card for being a. student for 250 automatic right there.

And that now when you go to those. orientation days, DraftKings is there. >> You know, the other ones, FanDuel's. there, and I'm not putting them down. I. love DraftKings, but you're coping these. kids. These kids don't have enough. problems with [ __ ] student loans. >> Right. >> now, I'm going to put a [ __ ] thing. More people are gambling more than ever. >> Than ever than ever. >> In Australia, too. My buddy McCann, you. know, James McCann, he was talking about. how crazy it is in Australia. >> Yeah. It's uh it's in What is those? What's the odds on the Ilia Toporia.

Justin Gatey fight at the White House. >> to pick him? >> Is it? No. No. Toia has to be a huge. favorite. I guarantee Tapora is two to. one. >> Four to one. >> Four to one. Yeah. Oh my god. >> Four to one's crazy. Two to one. If you just think about what he's done. in his last three fights, he's had the. most legendary run in MMA championship. history. In his last three fights, he. knocked out three all-time greats.

Knocks out Alexander Vulcanowski, knocks. out Max Holloway, knocks out Charles. Olivera. Three in a row. Like anybody. who could do that, you go, I'm not. [ __ ] betting anything against that. guy. But Justin Gate is a tough. character, son. >> So if I bet 25 bucks on GI, I win. >> 100. Four to one. >> Four to one. Yeah. Um, which is uh, look, it's minus 426 for Toporia.

They're like four to one's not enough. >> Caesar says 600. >> Caesar says 600. Caesars is smart. [laughter]. But the thing is, man, don't think that. Justin Gatesy can't win. Like anybody. can lose in an MMA fight. People get. hit. Like in Iliot Aaporia, one of his. early fights, one of I think his first. fight in the UFC at lightweight, he took. it on short notice and he fought this. dude um Jai Herbert who's a really tall, really good striker. And Jai Herbert.

caught him with a head kick in the first. round, a switch kick to the dome that. dropped him. It was perfect, but he. recovered brilliant. He got a hold of. him, took him to the ground, recovered, and then came back and devastating. knockout in the second round. Like, he. [ __ ] puts people into orbit, man. His. power is crazy. He's not a big guy. either, man. Justin's a much bigger guy. than him, but the way he knocks guys. out, it's just dead. >> He knocks them out dead. But so does.

Gachi. People forget it. Gachi is a. [ __ ] Warhammer, dude. That guy loves. battles. He loves. >> saying this is not I don't think. >> it's a tough fight, man. >> This is a tough [ __ ] fight. I could. both this and this is this Sunday, right? Correct. >> It's this Sunday. Gachi's bigger. >> So, [ __ ] yeah. I'm going. So, Gachi's. bigger. Gachi used to fight um at um. what was it called? The IFL was whatever. the organization was before the he came. to the UFC. I think it was it was before.

the PFL. It was like another one. But. what was it? What did he what was the. organiz you know there's these feeder. organizations like the PFL a lot of. really good fighters that wind up. becoming champions start out there. >> was that it world series of fighting. that's right that's what it was. >> and I mean he was [ __ ] people up with. leg kicks but it was the way he was. fighting would just throw himself into. chaos like he he didn't fight tactically.

at all back then no. >> like the you ever see the Michael. Johnson fight with him in the UFC. It's his first fight in the UFC. It's. one of the craziest [ __ ] fights ever. because he just [ __ ] throws himself. at Michael Johnson and Michael Johnson. throws himself right back. I It was a. They got hurt. Both guys got cracked. It. was a crazy fight. But eventually Justin. got him. But it was the way he fought. you like good lord. >> Yeah, he fights. >> like a pitbull. Like a pitbull. Like no. concern for his safety. Just dive in. It.

was a [ __ ] crazy fight. And look how. ju Dustin is always just trying to kill. you. He's always move. Look at that. Every shot he's trying to [ __ ] kill. you. He's always moving forward trying. to smash you. And the thing is he. relishes this kind of combat so much. that in the beginning he lost some. fights that he could have won if he. tempered it. If and then he did. So and. then when he went on this like legendary. run, started beating everybody. It's. really because he controlled the.

violence a little bit more. He. controlled the chaos, but it was still. like very technical violence. It wasn't. like he was brawling dumb. He was just. forcing himself into chaos so much. He. was throwing himself right into the fire. over and over and over again. >> This is a dangerous [ __ ] guy. He's a. dangerous [ __ ] guy for anybody. >> I mean, he had hit Kabib. He hurt him. with some calf kicks. His He could do. that, too. He leg kicks you from inside. the clinch. One of the things that he.

does really well is from like he could. get you with like a collar tie and he's. leg kicking you. Look, he gives him the. finger and tells him to get up. I mean, Michael Johnson's getting battered. This. is a tough fight for him. At this point, we're in round two. Look at that. Knee. to the body. Just everything's trying to kill you. It's not like uh this tactical. take a chance here, take a chance there. No, everything's take a chance. It's. like from the very beginning of the. fight and this is how he fight. He. eventually took him out, but it was a.

crazy fight. >> He fights like I told you, Haggler used. to fight. They weren't thinking about. brain damage, >> right? >> Haggler, all those dudes were not. thinking about that. We were talking. about that with with football before. >> You know what I just watched the other. day? Mustafa Ham Show. Haggler versus. Mustafa Ham Show. >> Did they battle? >> Oo, Haggler took him out. But it was. just Haggler in his prime. >> He was beautiful up there, bro. He was. [ __ ]. >> so good. He was so good and he was so. good at switching stances, man. When no.

one was doing that back then. Haggler. would fight southpaw. He would fight. Orthodox. He would [ __ ] you up. You. didn't know where it was coming from. And he could fight just as good Southpaw. as he could Orthodox. It was amazing. It. was an amazing fight to watch. Like, God, that guy was great. So disciplined. >> He had some good fights this week. I'm. excited for the card. I thought it was. Saturday. >> Yeah. Jamie posted up that the serial. gun Alex Pereira fights the closest. fight on the card is in terms of odds. It's like even odds and that's a that's. a.

serial gun's a tall order. That's a tall. order for your first heavyweight fight. in the UFC. >> Caesar says that as a pick them. >> a pick. Yeah, I would say it's a pickum. I would say it's a pickum. Um Sirro Gan. is really good. And the thing about. Sirro Gan is the problems that he's had. in fights or when guys take him down. when guys stand with him, he is very. tricky. He's very slick. He's very. technical and he's he's very light on. his feet for a big guy. Like he moves.

really well. Like one of the best movers. in the heavyweight division for sure. He's he's like he dances on his feet. He. also does a weird thing off his front. leg. He throws a front kick when he's. standing sideways like in a bladed. stance like this and he picks it up and. twists it into your stomach. Bang. Like. that. It's weird. Like it works. >> Oh, no. It's a kick. I mean, it's called. a twisting kick. Twisting kick. >> It's just you don't ever see people. throwing that kick from the front leg. like he does. Like, he does a lot of.

>> he does a lot of weird [ __ ] that you. have to get used to. Like that Tom. Aspenol fight, man. He was he was. scoring very well on the feet and I know. it got stopped because of the eye pokes, but before the eye pokes, Sir Gan was. doing very well on the feet against. Aspenol. And Aspenol is a big fast. heavyweight. It's going to be interesting because I. don't I don't you know know if Pereira. is going to have an issue with the. movement, you know, if he's going to be. able to shut that movement down and I. don't know if Sirill Gan is going to be. able to like if he's going to one.

exchange with him. He might feel that. power and say I'm just going to fight on. the outside cuz Pereira's got that you. make one mistake power. >> He looks good at heavyweight. >> He looks like he gained the weight. He. looks yolked. >> He's he's huge. And on top of that, no. dieting. So, no depleting of his body at. all. You're gonna have a guy competing. for the first time where he's never had. to cut weight. That's huge. That's a. giant advantage. Not having to cut.

weight is like they let you take. steroids. You can't. You don't have to. cut weight. No cutting weight at all. If. they changed weight cutting, if they cut. all weight cutting out of MMA, you'd. have like 20% better performances. People would be fighting so much better. because they would they would feel so. much healthier. They would be so much. more durable. There wouldn't be as many. like one-shot knockouts where you're. like, "Whoa, that got them." Because a. lot of these guys like their brain is. still dehydrated when they're in there. fighting. It's only 24 hours after they. rehydrate. That's not enough time to get.

to the brain. >> I would go to weigh-ins with you and. these guys would come in like they're. looking like they had cancer. >> They look dead. Yeah. >> They I would see them and then they. would IV in the back. Then I think they. cut out IVs afterward. Cut out IVs. I. remember being there with you and. looking at these guys coming in. >> They were dying. >> They looked like they were on that. [ __ ] GLP for 10 years like [ __ ]. Sharon Osborne's daughter. I mean, they. were looking [ __ ] up, Jack. >> Yeah, they look dead. Some guys looked. real. You remember when Anderson Silva. fought Travis Lutter? Do you remember. that fight? >> Yeah. The jiu-jitsu guy from Texas?

>> Exactly. >> Yes. >> He That was the worst I ever saw anybody. at a weigh-in. >> He looked really [ __ ]. >> And again, this was not the ceremonial. weigh-in like we have now. This was like. the actual weigh in. see if you can make. the weight. And Travis couldn't walk. He. was shuffling. He couldn't pick his legs. up. His his lips were cracked like he. his body was dried out. >> Can't be good for you like that. And. then to pick it back up and then go. throw rounds. Exactly. Throw punches at. 8:00 the next night. >> Meanwhile, I mean, he was so depleted, but he got a hold of Anderson the first.

round. It took him down, and that's what. he wanted to do. And jiu-jitsu in Texas. >> Yeah. Yeah. Kevin Holland's uh coach. >> Oh [ __ ] Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Travis is a bad. [ __ ]. >> Was a bad [ __ ]. >> He was a when guys rolled with him on. the Ultimate Fighter. You know, one of. um one of the best compliments one of. the guys said, he goes, "Dude," he goes, "I've rolled with only a couple guys. like that." He's like, "Him and Ricardo. Laboro." I go, "Really?" I go, "That guy. feels like Ricardo Laboro. He's that. level." He goes, he's like, "Dude, he. was running through people. Just running.

through people on the ground." Travis. was a beast. He was one of the first. like truly elite Brazilian jiu-jitsu. black belts in like the modern era, like. the Anderson Silva era. Whereas when he. got guys to the ground, you were in. trouble. You're in real trouble. There's. a few guys I Charles Olivea is the big. one. Charles Olivera puts people in. positions, they're like, "Oh no, what. have I done?" Like you think you're. going to be comfortable like in his. guard like pitch. You're never going to. be comfortable on the ground with Olive. Olive is just so dangerous everywhere. >> 20 years of jiu-jitsu, correct? 25.

years. They've been doing it since they. were a kid. Yep. Also, >> it's like stand up. >> Great camp. He's from that shoot the box. camp. I mean, that camp produced. Anderson Silva. Um, Marie, um, Ninja, uh, Shogun, like who else? >> Ple Ple, the one of the original MMA. fighters back in the bare knuckle days. He was the the top dude in the original. in the original days. No, Noggera is not. from Shoe Box. Noggera is a Carlson. Gracie guy. Those was he is Carlson.

Gracie, right? No, >> Carlson was in Chicago. >> No, Noggera wasn't Carlson Gracie. Noa. was um I don't want to get that wrong. Who was Noggera's trainer? Menito Noger, his original jiu-jitsu coach. >> [ __ ] brother. Probably. >> No, both of them were elite teasing you. >> They were twins. >> They were twins, right? >> Yeah, they were twins. They were both. elite. They were both like world class. fighters in pride.

Does it say his jiu-jitsu coach? >> Pull up his wik. >> Minotauro was the first like he was the. first guy that was like finishing elite. guys off of his back in pride. Like he. was tapping to like when he was the. champion in pride. Like you remember. when he beat Bob Sap? >> No. >> Bob Sap was 350 lbs with abs. And the. the fight was crazy. He picks Mituro up. and spikes him on his head in the.

beginning of the fight. [ __ ] his neck. up for years. Like his neck was [ __ ]. up after that fight and still survived. and eventually caught Bob Sappin and. Armbar, but it was bananas. Omry Bet. Okay. Yeah, there you go. Omry. Bet is another guy who fought early in. the UFC. So that's his coach for one. Where did. he get his black belt? Just see where he. got his black belt from.

Google. >> just ask the question who gave Minuro. his black belt. Uh let me say okay Hicardo Daha. that's his primary instructor. There you go. Okay. Yeah. was uh. >> so we could assume he invented the delah. he hooked.

>> probably there's a bunch of moves that. are attributed to guys that it's not. quite sure whether or not they invented. it but they were really good at it you. know. >> how much fun is that getting somebody a. dollar heaven and faking them down. >> it's fun. >> I can't finish the leg lock I never. could I'm [ __ ] terrible I can't get. my arms around it I'm [ __ ] my. shoulders are [ __ ] up. >> leg locks are scary. >> yeah I don't like all of that [ __ ]. >> you [ __ ] them. You know, you twist the wrong way, you. turn the wrong way, you hear things pop. E, scary.

>> You still training with private? No. more? >> No, I haven't over a year. I haven't. done anything wrong coming in with you. >> I was for a while. I have a I got a knee. problem. It's much better now. I've been. really working on it over the last 6. months, but it kept swelling after a. while. The the thing is it would get. better and uh I'd it would feel pretty. good and then I'd hurt it again. And. usually I heard it like a year ago. hunting. I twisted it hunting and then. um I've I've also heard it like hitting. the bag too. Like sometimes I just start.

whailing on the back. >> of you forget. >> Yeah, >> you forget. >> It's just the next day it's sore as. [ __ ] It's like I don't have meniscus on. one part of my knee. So I have to make. sure that it doesn't get arthritic. You. know what I mean? Because. >> like I don't have to tell you like once. your knee gets bad, it's a real problem. It's a problem. And so you got to like. walk that edge between when you don't. have cartilage or you don't have. meniscus and your cartilage is getting. bone on bone like that. Like you got to. be careful. You got to be careful. They're getting real close to fixing. [ __ ] Real close. They're injecting like.

different kinds of gels in people's. knees now that re replace the meniscus. And they're also doing some new stem. cell therapy where they go into the bone. itself and it regenerates. >> cartage. But that gel, they always work. you with that gel. I think it's a new. one, Joey. It's a It's like a It's They. call it a biological matrix. >> You need to [ __ ] get like a You need. to get like a uh insurance approval and. all that. Yeah, I did it. That's just. all those things. It's like when you see. an ad for somebody, do you have problems.

sleeping? Buy this mouthpiece for. $29.99. >> I don't think you got what they have now. because this is just released in. Germany. This is this is brand new. But. this gel, like I'm just saying to you, the gel, the cortisol. I have friends. with knee problems and they tell me what. they go through and they go to different. doctors and it's the same [ __ ]. we got cortisol for you. >> We got the gel. We're not going to do. the PRP and we don't do stem cell. So. you Joe regular, you don't do no.

reading. This is what happened to me. with the [ __ ] why I did the surgery. in the first place. you had moved here. and I didn't know about ways to well if. not I wouldn't have never cut this knee. the first time never. >> I didn't read up on it because when my. wife was pregnant I read up on all that. [ __ ] and I was I didn't want to have the. baby no more cuz it said when you're old. for 43 you'll die if you give birth like. if you're not ready when you get older. as a woman you know now women are having. kids at 50s and [ __ ] 55s.

>> but a woman has to be she has like a. short window And they have a lot of. things that could go wrong with the. pregnancy. When I read that, I got. nervous for my wife. I'm like, she's. going to die on a [ __ ] table. >> and I'm stuck raising a girl. I don't. know how to [ __ ] raise a girl, you. know? What am I going to do here? So, I. didn't really I researched it a little. bit after I got the knee after I went. and I saw the [ __ ] the chisel and the. [ __ ] mallet on the table. I go, we. got to look into this when I get out of. here. Like, this is [ __ ] insane. I.

would have never done the redo knee. I. would have waited, shot it with stem. cell, BPCed it. At that time, I was. still a little fearful of needles. So, I. was like, uh, BPC them. Everything is. you got to shoot it. >> You're feel fearful at needles, but not. of a knee replacement. That's hilarious. >> No, I'm bro. Now I'm fine [laughter]. now. It took it took four days in the. hospital last year to [ __ ] like go. One day they had to come in and take. blood out of me every 20 minutes for. three hours. >> Why? >> It's that type of test. They shoot you.

with something to see how you react to. it. >> Wow. And dog, I didn't faint one time. I. don't faint no more unless like last. time I weighs too well. I went in there. hung over on those tequilas from the. [laughter] mother ship drinking that Ron. White juice and [ __ ] I went in there. with no breakfast like we need to take. blood out within minutes. I'm pale. I'm. sweating profusiously. They got to put. ice on my back and on my neck and [ __ ]. And when I did the when they turn the. switch off on your leg, what's that? When you do that little before surgery,

when I first hurt the knee, they said, "We're not going to give you pain. medication, but if you're really hurting. that bad, come on down here and we'll. give you a nerve block.". >> Oh, they give you a nerve block. >> Joe Rogan. Holy [ __ ]. >> Who did that? Where' they do that? >> Because the place where I went for. surgery, the first time they're [ __ ]. >> Uhhuh. >> This place is specialized in all that. stuff. So, they have their own therapy. They have their own uh like the surgeons. and then they have a pain department. >> that they talk to you. >> and they go listen you could take this.

you want it we'll give it to you but. let's do this let's try it with this. they don't want you you know and I. understand it people lose their minds on. those [ __ ] things so I did the nerve. block first Joe holy [ __ ] holy [ __ ] and. when I went to the doctor about a month. ago the girl was like I was there that. day I go when I fainted she goes you. didn't faint but you sure came clothes. She goes, "You lost all the color in. your face. It's crazy." Joey had to. drink water and then the epidural block.

You ever do one of those? >> No. >> Well, no, I did when I got my knee. surgery. >> Yeah, they always knee surgery. I I. thought they put you out for those. >> They did most of the time, but my first. ACL I asked if I could watch. And uh he. said, "You don't want to watch it?" I. go, "No, I do. I don't want to I only. want to get this done once. I want to. see it. Can I watch it?". >> Where'd you see it? And they shot in a. nail in your spine. Well, they shot it in my spine and so it. you don't feel anything in your legs and. I watched him open my knee up and put it. together again. >> [ __ ] you, Joe. That's [laughter].

>> the epidural block is one of the wor. >> I wanted to see. I'm like, I don't want. to do this once. I I didn't know that I. was going to have another ACL surgery. eight years ago. >> So, you didn't get put out for your. surgery? >> No, not the first one. The second one I. did. >> That's insane, Joe. That's [ __ ]. insane. I love you that you're Zombo and. [ __ ] but. >> I wanted to watch. >> No, I want to watch a lot of things. >> I want to see what it looks like because. it's kind of crazy. They're going to. take your knee, take a slice out of your. patella tendon along with a chunk of. bone and a chunk of bone for your.

kneecap and then they screw it back in. place. I'm like, this is crazy. I want. to watch. Held up. Still [clears throat]. good. The the real problem was the. meniscus. So, they didn't even take the. meniscus out then. They just um stitched. it up. There was a tear in the meniscus, but it wasn't too bad. had any thought. it could heal, you know, cuz I was in my. in my 20s. I was like 23, I think, 22. Um, and then, uh, over time it just got. wore out that that tear became a bucket.

handle tear and then it would lock. So, it would pull the meniscus would pull up. and like lock in place. It was [ __ ]. insanely painful. And I was like, "This. keeps happening." It happened a couple. of times. It was like it happened in. jiu-jitsu class and Eddie Bravo had to. take me to the doctor. So Eddie Bravo. had to drive my NSX. We drove straight. to the doctor and you know they tell me. I need to get my meniscus removed. I'm. like okay. And then he told me I need to. stop doing martial arts. I was like okay. that's cute.

>> That's the first thing they'll tell you. >> Yeah. You got to stop doing martial. arts. >> People everything. No martial arts. No. this. >> 30 years later. [ __ ] you. >> Let me get one of those zins. The medium. ones. What are these? >> These are Alps. Those are That's Tucker. Carlson's one. It's uh Those are good. It's uh six six milligrams. These are. threes. This is athletic nicotine. That's threes. I like those. They don't. make you jittery. Those those take a hell of a hit. Tucker. likes them strong. >> I like them, but they [ __ ] I always. swallow them by mistake. They [laughter].

[ __ ] Next you know I'm [ __ ]. pouches and [ __ ] I had pouch They have. focus ones. >> Yeah, that's that's these ultras. >> Yeah, I do the ultras. >> I don't I don't have them in this room. anymore. I was doing those after I had. the surgery. >> Those are great. Yeah, they are. >> There's a bunch of really good things. for your focus. People that think it's. all [ __ ] you know, like that. neutropics are [ __ ] and you're. allowed to think whatever you want, but. trust me, from someone who uses uses his. brain for a living, there's a difference. between taking neutropics and not taking. them. It's not going to make you. smarter, but it'll make your brain.

function at a better level. There's a. bunch of [ __ ] that works like that. Like, you know those um those ketone. drinks, like ketone IQ, that helps a. lot. >> Really? >> Yeah. Your brain uses ketones. Your. brain uses ketones for focus. That's why. people that take ketogenic diets and go. on carnivore diet, they say it gives. them like more mental clarity. You have. more more focus. It's fact. Like I feel. different when I'm eating like clean. If. I'm eating like carnivore, just eggs and. steak, my brain works better 100%. >> It's just not processing the carbs and.

all the fog that comes with that. Not. that carbs are bad for you, >> but when you um take this stuff, this. stuff is the [ __ ] This is my friend. Derek's Gorilla Mind. This is a. neutropic drink. >> It's like an energy drink. No, >> no. It's got some caffeine in. It's got. a good amount of caffeine, but it's got. a bunch of neutropics. So, there's a. bunch of like brain vitamins in there. >> You know anything about. >> Yeah. I'm not selling this. This is my. friends. >> You know, I'm not uh you know that I. have a great memory with dates and I can. take you to different situations.

>> Stories. >> I don't know what happened the last. three years. >> How come? If I talk to you on a Monday, which I usually do, you call me Mondays. on the way home at 6, whatever we talked about by Thursday, I. don't remember. Like you'll say, "Call. me back. When you find out, I'll [ __ ]. forget now." Like just little things. >> Recent this last few years. >> Last few years. I could see, you know, you know, you're 60. A lot of [ __ ]. changes. You You. >> You know, it's really weird. Joe, I need.

eight now. >> I need eight. Sorry. I need eight. >> Eight what? >> Hours of sleep. Eight. Solid. I got the. whoop. I need it. >> Makes a difference. >> Six and a half. Don't cut it. Done. >> Done. >> I need eight now. And don't get me. started on an hour nap. Well, an hour 15. nap at 2 or 3:00 in the afternoon. If I. get up in the morning, I get up at 6:00. >> So, I put her on the bus. I start. smoking weed at 9:00. I'm at a gym. I'm. doing something. Boxing, PT, you know.

So by [ __ ] 2:00, dog, there's days I. walk in, there ain't no stopping. There. ain't no pissing. I go right to the bed, put the mask on, and go right to sleep. Just like that. I mean, there's no. thought. There's no stop it, get what is. that monopoly? Stop it, go and get 200. That ain't none of that. I come in, I. drop my bag, I pee, and I walk right. upstairs right to the bed. I move the. cat over. Get the [ __ ] over. [laughter]. And I [ __ ] put that mask on. >> Does the cat cuddle with you while.

you're sleeping? >> Oh, please. And he goes under the blank. She goes under the blank of me, too. So, it's perfect. >> That's funny. >> But dog, it's not no more. Like, I'm. don't fly out early no more. >> [ __ ] you. >> Yeah, you need you need a solid amount. As you get older, it's even more. important. You know what else is really. important? Creatine. >> I take 10 milligrams twice a day. >> Beautiful. >> Beautiful. >> Beautiful. That's phenomenal for your. memory and that's a really good. neutropic as well. >> I don't like the gummies. I never You. had some gummies on here.

>> Good. I like them. >> My neighbor gave them to me that you had. them. >> I prefer to just open it up and pour it. in my mouth and then drink water. >> Yeah, me too. I like the powder, too. >> Yeah. I put like the 10 milligrams in my. mouth and I just drink water. >> You don't put it on your food, do you? >> No. >> I put I put in a smoothie from time to. time. I like the raspberries with. coconut water. the make the best way to. make sure that I'm getting all 10. milligrams is to just pour it in my. mouth and then drink water with it. because otherwise it's in the glass. You. got to rinse the glass and get more of.

it in. You know, you're giving yourself. an exact dose. Just put it in your. mouth. Dry scoop it. So, I just dry. scoop it in my mouth and pour the water. in there. Okay, >> that's how I do it most of the time. What the gummies are really good for is. if you forget and they're just laying. around, you just eat a couple of. gummies. >> You know, >> I don't know how many milligrams are in. those, right? I eat half. says it on. there. You know, I think two gummies is. 5 millig. I think that's what it is. >> I also got turned on to a creatine. company that has a creatine precursor. Is that. >> creatine? A precursor. >> Creatine precursor.

>> I don't know what that is. >> Your own body creates creatine, right? >> On its own. This helps. >> Oh, interesting. >> The body I think it's called a. precursor. Don't [ __ ]. >> Yeah, I don't know. >> Hey, did I say. >> just ride off with a [ __ ] You know. what I'm saying? I [laughter] know that. cuz I'm saying it wrong. like Voltron. I. don't [ __ ] know, guys. >> I'm sure there's something. I mean, there's always a bunch. I mean, there's. if you think about how many supplements. are out there. Like, good lord, there's. so many supplements. And not all of them. are good, but a lot of them are really. good. Here's another one's really good.

for working out. Beta alanine. You ever. take that? >> No. >> Phenomenal. Phenomenal. >> Look, I take everything else. It's just. >> makes you tingle, though. Makes your. skin like itch. >> You ever take iodine? >> No. Iodine? >> Yeah. Like you there's a pill or. something. You take iodine to help you. You're supposed to do that if you had. radiation poisoning. >> Listen, when the first piss test came. out, they said you would take iodine. So. again, >> you put Clorox in your dick. >> I put Clorox in my dick afterward. [laughter] because the iodine obviously. didn't [ __ ] work. Okay,

[laughter]. >> you imagine when they read your piss. through the [ __ ] test machine, they. be like, "What? What did What is this? >> Do you understand? >> This isn't piss. [laughter]. >> Do you understand?" Like there's times I. every morning I go out and take my cup. of coffee and I sit outside. I thank. God, you know, the whole [ __ ]. [ __ ] story. And then it takes me. somewhere like after the second cup of. coffee and one of these Zins and a. bonget, your mind goes somewhere and I. think of chunks of my life and I go, "What the [ __ ] was that?". >> Like that was Joe. That was insanity.

What about every time he used to come to. my house to do the checkup, I never let. him in. He came like 11 times in two years. I. never let him in my house. He wouldn't. know I was in the house. He would put. the sheriffs to come and sit outside my. house for two hours. Then they would. leave. They're like, "We're not going. to. He's not home." I never let him in. my house. I tortured that guy. >> He could have sent me to prison. I still. would have been in prison. >> But it was such a like first it was the. iodine. >> and then you [ __ ] you know, you're.

supposed to take 20 milligrams. I mean. 200, whatever. I don't know. And my skin. is burning. I'm [ __ ] red in the face. I got issues. So I stop with the iodine. I still came back positive. Then I went. on the [ __ ] uh white vinegar. >> White vinegar. >> White vinegar with a [ __ ] bottle of. Gatorade on a Monday morning. Not a. little vinegar. Not red wine vinegar. The real vinegar that you clean your. [ __ ] with [laughter]. and douchebags and all that [ __ ].

Vinegar cleans you up. That's what women. wash their monkey with vinegar because. it takes all the [ __ ] cat piss out of. all [laughter] the [ __ ] they got in. there. So they said, "Drink vinegar every. Monday morning, bro." And it's like a. process. Like you would get high Friday. and you would hope to beat it by Sunday, but you knew you weren't going to beat. it. And they're going to call you. Monday. And it's like your color is. yellow, right? Like if they say yellow, you got to come in. So you wait till. 1:00 and you're like, "All right." You. got to call in and all a sudden today,

Monday, Tuesday, the 9th of June, the. colors are purple. And you're like, "Yellow. God damn. Now I got Now I got. to figure out I got 5 hours. The place. closes at 6:00. So I got to figure out. how to stop this cocaine from coming up. So then we started taking Serto. >> What's Serto? >> Serto is what you put in like jello. That's that thing that makes the jello. jiggle or some [ __ ] like. >> what.

[ __ ] sauo. >> No, there [laughter] was there was no. internet these days. These are just. these are. >> What is that? a brand of liquid fruit. pectin most commonly used in the kitchen. as a thickening agent [laughter] for. homemade jams and jellies. However, it's. also widely known as an internet folk. remedy people use an attempt to mask. drug drug metabolites in urine. I told. you it's a folk remedy. >> It's [ __ ] [ __ ]. >> Does it work? >> No. That's why. >> let's find out if it works. Uh the myth. Many online forums suggest mixing sauo.

with a large sports drink like Gatorade. and drinking it a few hours before a. drug urine test. The theory claims the. fiber traps toxins in your digestive. tract. Reality, health professionals and. medical studies show no scientific. evidence that fruit pectin can reliably. clear drugs or toxins from your urine, while fiber works in the gut has no. effect on what your kidneys filter into. your urine. This episode is brought to. you by Armra. Every week there's some. new wellness hack that people swear by. And after a while, you start thinking,

why do we think we can just outsmart our. bodies? That's why Arra colostrum caught. my attention. It's something the body. already recognizes and has hundreds of. these specialized nutrients for gut. stuff, immunity, metabolism, etc. I. first noticed it working around. training, especially workout recovery. Most stuff falls off, but I am still. taking this. If you want to try, Arra is. offering my listeners 30% off plus two. free gifts. Go to armorra.com/rogan.

But again, you get your advice from a. guy who's done 30 [ __ ] years. Then. you forget he's been doing 30 years. because he made mistakes. Not because. he's a [ __ ] genius about Serto. Exactly. >> You know, and then we went from Serto. and then one day I was. >> Does anything work? >> Huh? >> Is anything work? >> No. Cranberry juice. >> What about that stuff that they used to. sell? Remember they used to sell stuff? >> This is 90 [ __ ] This is 89. They. didn't sell nothing. >> No. But do you remember there was some. stuff that you could buy? Yeah. No. No. You're saying you could.

buy piss now. Now it's completely. different. >> You could buy piss. >> Yeah, you could buy piss online. Just. get that uh whatever [laughter] that. dirty that dirty [ __ ] uh XPTt, whatever. You go on and you could search. hidden [ __ ] all over. >> You just got to get a rubber dick and. take that piss and. >> I had a guy who made a rubber dick. >> Norm could not start snorting coke. So. he made a a contraption where he filled. up his son's piss in a hot water bottle. and did the same thing with the douche. and he took the douche on the bottom. Scots taped it to his dick and he would.

piss and squeeze his chest. >> Oh my god. That's. >> Then one day the thing blew up. [laughter]. and he was a bank robber. They sent to. jail for 30 [ __ ] years. >> Want to hear the craziest steroid uh. evasion story that I ever heard from. piss? >> There was a guy who was fighting and he. knew he was going to get piss test and. he was just juice to the tits. So the. legend is that they inserted clean urine. into his bladder through injection.

So he injected clean urine into his. bladder with a needle. Whether or not that's true, I have no. idea. But this is what everybody, this. is like early days of the UFC, like when. they first started drug testing people. >> We just think. >> I don't even think it was in the UFC. that he did this. I think it was in. another organization, but I don't know. if it's true. >> Think about what's going on the other. side of this. >> Your addiction is that high. >> Well, these guys when they're that. juiced up, when they're that juiced up,

they're not getting off of it. Cuz if. they get off, they have no muscle. >> I get it. I understand. So, you. understand the extremes that people do. >> Could you ever shoot [ __ ] fake piss? >> Like, Joey, go piss the [ __ ] thing. I'm going to shoot Joey's piss. >> A guy willing to do that and trusting. that guy with finding your bladder, he. could shoot piss into your liver. Like, who who knows what this guy even. understands about. These are the levels. that you do. >> So here I am, sir. It don't work. [ __ ] nothing works. And one day I'm. in the pool. And I'm like, "Oh [ __ ]. when you piss in the pool,

>> the pool cleaner. cleaned all this and not the pool would. be green the next day.". >> So this is your logic? >> So I went I [laughter] took the kids I. took one of those cubes first. >> The crumbs, >> smashed it up, and then I put it on my outside of a. dick cuz I'm uncircumcised. So I would. pull the skin back and that would fall. into the [ __ ] piss and then so he. told me once he go something happened. last time you [ __ ] up the machine or. something like that, right? >> Women would insert condoms filled with.

someone else's urine inside themselves. He said some athletes would inject urine. into their bladders using a catheter. Oh. god, they did do that. So that's real. So maybe that's how he did it. Maybe. they used a catheter and that's how they. put the fake. >> But then there's the Wizator. >> Yeah, that was the rubber dick. That's. uh. >> But wasn't there some stuff that you. could buy that would you would get at. like a head shop and it supposedly detox. you? >> This is 89. >> But does that stuff work? >> Nothing. When I was googling it, it says. nothing's real. That's.

>> nothing's real. Yeah. I always assumed. that it wasn't real. I was like, you. selling this at a head shop? >> Stuff from the '9s. These are some of. the products. >> But the killer was when I used Drano. >> Oh, okay. So, this is all [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> They just rob people. >> They just rob people. >> Fetish urine. Look at that. It says, look at that's labels. Fetish urine. What the [ __ ] does that mean? >> It's probably a way to sell it because. you have to say what you know. >> Not for human consumption. >> Oh, so that's your buying piss. Oh, so. that's an actual bag of piss on the. right. Oh, good lord. >> This one calls it tinkle.

>> It's fetish urine. So if you just like. want someone to piss on you, but no. one's willing. Uh, >> you already told that story about the. guy with the gay club, the guy at the. bathtub that everybody was pissing on. him in the tub. >> and then that party Shamer took me to in. that hotel next to the comedy store and. they were getting pissed on in there, the women. And then I wake up sadly. I'm. feeling good about myself and I'm on. Twitter and I see Bonnie Blue. She had a. that chick is [ __ ] She got pissed on. had a baby shower in her ass. People.

were pissing the [ __ ] in her ass and. I'm like, "Somebody's got to stop that. woman." She's. >> the least of her problems. >> Oh my god. A [ __ ] baby shower. >> When I used a drain, although that was. the best because that destroyed the. machine. [laughter]. >> But But the truth of the matter is. >> when he said something happened last. time, >> well, this is what happened. I put the. drain on my dick. >> and I walked up to the counter and I put. on the desk and he asked you questions. How's it been? And I'm looking at the thing and it's.

starting to foam like this thing. and it's coming out OF THE BAG. >> DISHWASHER. [laughter]. >> And I'm looking at this thing going, "This [ __ ] better." And what he. did was he just picked it up and threw. it. >> in the bag like when they pick it up and. test it. >> Sometimes you leave the cop top off. That was an old trick. You leave the top. off and then it spilled. Ah. >> Oh no. >> So that buys you one extra week. But the. time with the draano, it started like. wubble. It was like shaking at the thing. like foam was coming out of the [ __ ]. sides and I locked it up [laughter].

good. That's what happened. There was no. oxygen. That [ __ ] was like, you. know, boom. So I put in the [ __ ]. thing. And he called me a few days. later. He's like, "Listen, I wrote up a. thing. I'm taking you to court because. you broke the machine. This cannot. continue. >> This cannot continue. >> This can continue. [laughter] This can't. continue. This is like a [ __ ]. >> broke cat and mouse game. What did you. PUT IN YOUR BODY? WHAT HAPPENED? [laughter]. WHAT THE [ __ ] IS GOING ON, JOSE? >> SO, >> they say, "Hey, your machine sucks. Your.

machine broke.". >> And then after me. >> No. And then they put me on like this. hold. They were like, "We're not even. going to piss. You don't want the We're. done. We can't take this mental [ __ ]. [laughter]. >> So, this is when you were in the. probation department. Now, they were. going to throw me back in community. corrections because they'll put you in. for 90 days." isn't and all that. I met. this [ __ ] guy. for 3 months. We spoke like nothing like. gentlemen. I would talk to him. Saw him. once a week. And one day I said, "What. do you do?" And he goes, "I'm a district.

attorney in Boulder, Bill Wise.". I I need a beef, man. I need a problem. I'm on this probation. They won't leave. me alone. What do I do to get off? He. goes, "Just have your attorney draw up a. a statement and I'll sign it and get you. all probation." And that was it. M. >> just a guy I met on the street, Bill. Wise, and then he got fired after the. John Ramsey thing. >> He was there during the whole John Bet. Ramsey thing and everybody got [ __ ]. fired, I guess. I don't know. Bill Wise. is a great dude, man. He was good to me. And I told him, he asked him what I did.

I told him the truth and he goes, "Did. you learn from mistake?" "Yeah, I'm here. working." He goes, "Okay, pass it over. and I'll sign." I'm like, "Oh my god, how [ __ ] lucky am I? I'm done. I'm. done." I was done. >> Started in ' 87. And it was all the way. till 91 for a year. I was [ __ ] them. up with the pee thing. [laughter]. Then they put me back in the half spot. in the halfway house. And that was even. worse. I was out of control in there. Out of there was freaks in there. There's [ __ ] everything in there. Freaky girls. I was stealing the air.

conditioner out of the conference room. and put it in my room. They couldn't. heal. They couldn't handle me there. either. They were like, "Dog, [laughter]. you just go home. We're not going to. [ __ ] with you no more.". >> And that's what you do. You do. just. wear somebody rag and they'll let you go. eventually. They'll just say, "You know. what, man? It ain't worth it. You're. never going to stop. You're never going. to stop." And then a year later, I had. like an affair with the one time I had. an affair with like the chick that. worked in that office. She's the one. that had the one leg and they delivered. Chinese food to her.

It never stopped. And you think of those. chunks in your life and [snorts] go, "What the [ __ ] was going on?". >> Yeah. You were out of control. Like it's. 31 years and I still won't go back to. Boulder because of the shame I endured. [laughter] Seriously, like I won't. Everybody goes, "Why don't you go back. to Boulder?" Because I'm ashamed that. that was such a beautiful city and I. treated like it was Newark, >> right? >> Like I did what I wanted. I would go to. Kmart, hang out outside of [ __ ] the. the lawn more department and people.

would come out with new lawnmowers and. the receipt would fly off. I get that. receipt and go to Longmont and get that. lawn mower for 400 and walk it up and. go, "My mother bought me this. I don't. want it no more. And I give them the. receipt. They give me 400 cash plus plus. tax. Who does that? That [ __ ] Toys R. Us. I took that thing down by myself. with those Jeffrey bucks. I took them. down. >> What's a Jeffrey buck? >> They It's like when you bring a a stolen. computer in there and they give you They. won't give you cash. They'll give you. Jeffrey bucks. So, you have to spend it.

on in the [ __ ] store. >> You know, I had a million dollars in. Jeffrey Bucks at one time. I was buying. bicycles and [ __ ]. it's just it just I was an animal and I. feel really guilty about it today. I'm. thinking of booking the Fox Theater in. Boulder and doing like cuz Leeio is. opening back up my Italian joint. >> So they called and they said we're. opening back up and I'm like I'm. thinking of doing Boulder like Fox. Theater just take my lumps apologize. donate to something there and just call. it a [ __ ] night cuz I still feel. guilty man. And I'm old, but now I feel.

guilty about the damage. I put Boulder. through [ __ ] eight I mean, I got. chased through the mall by security and. I'm throwing [ __ ] CDs at him. [laughter] I remember the Denver Broncos. were playing Cleveland in ' 87. Those. big playoff games. Do you remember. those, Jamie? >> Look, I'm at the mall one day and. everybody's in the hallway looking at. TVs. I'm like, who's minding the stores? I went into Radio Shack and I popped out. the [ __ ] CD player, brand new, and. just put the quarter on it and walked. out like nothing. Who does that, dog? That's animal. And I'm I'm ashamed to.

admit this [ __ ] but it was like you. said when you first went to Boulder the. first time. You're like, "This must have. been a [ __ ] grocery store for Joey. Diaz.". >> That's exactly what I said when I went. there. >> It was [laughter] It was a shame. >> Everybody's so They're so like peaceful. and sweet. >> I brought chaos. >> Yeah, >> chaos. And it was too much. When I was. in the prison, I brought chaos in there. I had my cell open. I did what I wanted. It was just too much. And I to this day. it's New York. You could [ __ ] like that.

because that's what New York is about. I. was a [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] in New York, too. But I don't feel guilty about that. I still walk around the city now. >> Got so many pieces of [ __ ] in New York. You were unique in Boulder. >> It was unique. But in Boulder, they. didn't have anything like me. >> They didn't. They had no. >> I was shaking down people. Some guy kept. telling me, "I saw you on A&E." Remember. in the in the ' 90s and ' 80s, A&E was a. mafia channel. They talked Bill whatever. talked about A&E to call the own family. And this guy saw me one day. He's like, "Hey, you're the guy that's in the. witness relocation plan." This is 8.

[ __ ] n. This is way before Sammy and. all those guys went in. This guy's. telling me you you're a witness. relocated guy. A little Italian guy. I. saw you on on A&E. You're George the. Animal Something from Boston. I'm like, "Dog, that's not me. Stop saying that. I. already got problems in [ __ ] Boulder. You're telling people that I'm a witness. relocated mafia guy. He pissed me off so. much. Finally, I just kicked his [ __ ]. door down. He had like one of those. Italian knick-knack stores. I went in.

there and I said, "Dog, since I'm George. the Animal, I am. You're going to give. me 200 a week." Bro, he started giving. me 200 a week for like 3 weeks. Then he. called a sit down with Antonio Adio. And. Antonio's like, "Yeah, you got to keep. paying him." And the guy closed up shop. like 3 weeks later. I never saw him. again. Little Italian guy would always. kick his shoes up, dog. That's crazy. [ __ ] I was snorting coke at an ATM in. Boulder. They had a next to Murphy's. there's an ATM you could walk into with. the door. I would go in there with a. case of beer at night and just put Coke.

on the metal. People [snorts] would come. and go ahead. [laughter]. Can't take this [ __ ] back. But it. [clears throat] was done and I can't. undo it, you know? >> But it bothers you now. >> Well, does it bother you or does it just. make you confused? Like how the [ __ ] I. >> Nobody remember half this [ __ ] I'm. saying. Nobody ever remember this [ __ ]. People on they moved on with their. lives. They saw me now. They go, "Hey, that's a guy that kidnapped the guy.". No, you know, my name was in the paper. My picture wasn't. They didn't have a.

picture of me, but everything else was. in the [ __ ] paper. It's a guilt. It's. a weird [ __ ] guilt, man, that I could. have done so much better there if I. would have play if I would have played. my cards right. I could have graduated. college as a [ __ ] astronaut cuz they. were going to give me everything just. cuz I was Cuban. They had no Spanish. people at that college. They had only. like eight blacks that played football. So, they were doing anything to get. Latinos. I would have been a [ __ ]. astronaut [laughter] with a GED. >> Yeah, but we would have missed this, Joey. >> Yeah, but. >> it's good that it turned out this way.

>> Let me ask you something. If you. wouldn't have gotten into [laughter]. this [ __ ] thing, what would you what. would you think you'd be doing now? >> If I hadn't gotten into which one? >> This thing that we're doing, standup. comedy? No, stand up comedy opened up. everything. >> What would I be doing? Uh, I don't know, man. I don't know. I probably would have. fought again. >> Would you be a chef? Would you be I. mean, I could pin you as a chef. You. love to cook. >> Yeah, I do love to cook. Um, chef, a. mason. >> I found something that I enjoyed doing. >> What? >> I don't know. I would have figured it. out. >> What's your second? >> The real problem would be if I had a kid.

real young. >> So, if uh, you know, I know a bunch of. my friends got married and had kids when. they're like 22 or 23. The pro, there's. nothing wrong with that, but. [clears throat] then that really limits. your ability to just go for it because. you have mouths to feed. That's a. different animal. You know, I I think. about the early days of standup when I. was 21 and how I had zero money. I mean, zero. I had zero money. I barely could. eat. I [clears throat] remember I had a. a big [ __ ] jar of pennies and nickels. and dimes and [ __ ] And I remember.

rolling it all up so I could go get a. sandwich. Like I [snorts] had no money. And so I I could imagine like if I was. trying to do that, I said, "Well, I'm. just going to live like this for a. couple years. And I think if I work hard. enough, I could eventually start making. money doing standup. And if I keep. getting better, maybe I could be a. professional, you know, that was the. idea. It was never like have a career. But if I had a kid and I had a wife, there's no way I would have done it. [clears throat] There's no way I would. have to have gotten a job. And that's.

where a lot of people get into, you. know, or maybe you think it's going to. be a good investment to get a house, which it is. But now you've got a. mortgage. So you got a mortgage. You. can't just [ __ ] lose everything. I I. got my car repossessed. I was broke, [snorts] man. I was broke, >> bro. I used to have to hide my car in. the garage so they wouldn't repossess. it. >> [ __ ] [laughter]. >> Yeah. I mean, it was 100% check to. check. Never had any money in the bank. >> I don't know if this ever happens to. you, but it happens to me a lot now. And. this is why I started this grateful [ __ ].

because there days I pull up to my. house, I don't know who lives there. >> Yeah. >> I go, "Who lives here? This is me real. >> I know it doesn't feel real. >> And then you ask, you say yourself, this. is the most important thing for people. listening. I want you to listen to this. If you have a dream or a goal, you go, I. got to pay for that with comedy, which I. always thought I was just going to make. $100 a set. And I would have been fine. with that if nobody would ever bothered.

me in my life. I would have been fine. with $100 a set, getting in my beat up. car and doing that, getting your dick. sucked, getting STDs. I would have done. all that [ __ ] you know? That's what it. is. >> So, when you look at your house, whether. it cost 40,000 or 80 million and go, I. paid for this doing $15 sets at the. comedy store. >> Yeah. >> When you got into this, you just wanted. to survive, never mind a [ __ ] house. and cars. And you never dreamed of this.

with standup. I know I didn't. >> I never dreamed of this with anything. No, >> I I never thought I would be a person. who had money. >> I dreamed of being a funny person and to. be funny enough to make a living in. standup. >> Yeah. >> I never saw this part of it. So when I. pull up in my house and I go, that was. paid with $20 sets. >> $25 here, 15 here, 100 here. Yeah. And. it adds up. I'm not saying that. But. that was paid by a dream. >> Yeah. >> Not a job, not something my family did.

I wasn't forced into like raising lemons. or whatever the [ __ ] people do that. [laughter] are decent, you know, growing. lemons, you know. Seriously, we were. born into this. This is something we got. into and said, I just want to survive. >> I just want to be able to eat three. meals and get enough gas to go to the. next thing. Forget money in the bank. Forget it. It's overrated. I would never. even open up a bank account. I didn't. open up a bank account till I was 40. years old. You know, I just ran on. whatever the [ __ ] I would open them, put 20 in, and write a bounce check and.

[ __ ] move on and pray that nobody. caught you. You know, and people have no. idea what that feeling is like. I get in. my car and I go, "Holy shit." How many. cars did I have that I had a what are. those bungee cords? Oh, yeah. A bungee. cord. >> Mhm. >> I had a car when I first did comedy. I. had to close the door with a bungee cord. across my thing. It was like my. combination seat belt because if I took. a [ __ ] right turn, the. [clears throat] door would open. You. know, the door would just wing open. Now. I'm in a car that's [ __ ] I paid for. with comedy, not drugs.

>> A nice one. >> Not anything. No. Whether it's nice or. not, you paid for this without nobody's. interference. With somebody with. something that somebody told you you'd. never be good at. >> You never be good at Somebody at least. said it to you one time, Joe. Come on, man. Comedy. >> You're never going to What do you think? You're going to be on HBO with [ __ ]. [clears throat] Richard Prior and George. Carlin? You laugh. But you're like, they're kind of right. They were [ __ ]. wrong. We didn't know it. We just didn't. [ __ ] know it. >> Well, it's like telling someone, "I'm. going to run 200 miles." Like, "No,

you're not. You can't even run around. the block." Like, "No, one day I'm going. to run 200 miles." Like, no, you're not. You're not going to run 200 miles. And. most of the time, they're right. But if. you're one of those [ __ ] that. says, "Look, it might take me 10 years. to develop the endurance to run 200. miles, but I I if I start right now, next month I'm going to be able to run. five miles, you know, and in six months. I'll be able to run 10 miles, and then. I'm going to keep going.". >> But then you quit before the miracle. happens. >> Somewhere along the line, >> how many people do we know that quit?

How many people do we know that were. really talented, that were really funny, >> and just disappeared and now you see him. like. >> I don't want to shame anybody, but. there's a few guys and there's this one. guy at the early days of the comedy. store that I really tried to help. I. connected him to my manager and I was. like, "This guy's legit." I'm like, "You're funny, dude. Like, you're you're. good if you just [ __ ] stay." And then. had a bunch of personal problems, had a. kid. I think he had some legal issues. Damn. But that guy, I'm like, I'll tell. you later who it was. >> No, I know who it was.

>> Yeah. Yeah. And but I [clears throat]. was like, that [ __ ] was funny. He was funny. >> Way funnier than I was. >> He was great. He was a fun dude to be. around. He was a cool dude. I was like, he's going to make it. >> There was people I looked at and I go, they're way funnier than I am. Holy. [ __ ]. >> We were both like the same age, too. We. were like 27 when I first met him. And. uh I connected with my manager and he. was like, "Nobody ever did anything like. that for me before." Like, "Nobody tries. to help me.". >> Nobody. I was like, "Listen, man. You.

you'll do it, too. Now, you'll make it. and then you'll do it, too. We'll all do. it. It's it it helps." And it doesn't. hurt. Doesn't hurt you at all to help. somebody, but it helps them and it helps. you. It helps you feel better. You feel. better that you're helping someone. It's. like it's a like I always say that being. generous is kind of selfish in a way. because you feel better, too. Like when. I'm generous, I feel better. >> I do. >> Yeah. Yeah. We all do. And when we're. kind and when we try to help people, you. feel better. It's good for you. It's. good for everybody. And it's like that's.

a message that the world needs to hear. Like you could be good to people. And if. you're good to people and you're nice to. people, it'll help you too. And if you. find someone who's got something, you. got you got and you're doing a thing. like you're doing a thing and there's. someone who's got a spark, there's a. little talent, help though. Help them. Help those people. Give them advice. Give them a push. Let them open for you. Let you know watch their set. Give them. some feedback. Help them because you. know.

>> we're not in the comedy business, Joe. I've never been in the comedy business. I don't know what anybody's talking. about. We're in the karma business. >> It's a little of that. >> I'm in the karma business. I am not in. the com my my goal every day is to make. somebody's day. One person, a woman at. the supermarket. You're looking [ __ ]. bad in a [ __ ] today. Oh, stop. it, Joey. Yeah, that I just made her. [ __ ] day. Her husband sees her every. day and never tells her she's banging. And I'm going up to this lady, I don't. even know. And I'm like, damn, if I was. 20 years younger, you know, and they're.

older than me, like they, you know, >> that's my thing every day. Just make. somebody's day. One person, you can't. save the world, >> but one day, a gesture, a handshake, a. couple dollars is not going to set you. back. >> That is kind of what you if you're if. you're doing a thing where you're doing. something that people enjoy, like think. about like your sets. Like think about. how many people have gone to see you and. you changed their night. Gone to see. you. Like how many nights at the store. people come in, you want to see a show? Yeah, let's go see a show. You go on.

stage and rock that [ __ ] place. They. leave, they're holding their side like. and they go out and get something to eat. afterwards. EVERYBODY SAY THAT [ __ ]. THING ABOUT AND THEY'RE like change. people's evenings. You change their. feelings. You change the way they feel. and you feel good because of it. It's. like this weird exchange. The reason why. we love killing, >> especially people that are really good. at it, what they love is that they're. making other people happy. That's really. what you love. >> I love it. >> You're making other people happy.

>> and you feel happy because you're making. and when you don't Oh, you feel. terrible. >> I feel I do better when I look at the. audience and they're laughing and I. laugh with them. Once I laugh, you're. done. >> Yes. >> You're done. Once I start laughing and. giggling, >> if it's real, >> party's over. Yeah. No, it's real. >> You're having fun. >> It's real. It's real. When I look out. there and I see somebody that should not. be laughing. >> and they're laughing at something blue. as [ __ ] that I said and I don't expect. them to laugh, that's what makes me. laugh. Or the look on their face from. the shock of you saying something.

>> That's what always kicks me into this. [ __ ] mode, you know? >> Yeah, it's beautiful. >> The other thing I want to talk about in. this podcast because I was talking to a. friend of mine in Jersey standup. [snorts] and this is the other thing. people don't see. We're very blessed. because we went to LA or wherever the. [ __ ] we went and one day you're talking. to somebody and two weeks later. they're in a [ __ ] the biggest movie. in Hollywood. >> Yeah. >> And it's very hard to explain to people. to sit believe in yourself and just keep.

showing up and that this happens. But. since people don't have see that happen. in their world, you know, in Jersey, what do you see? A guy hits the lottery, he can wins a million dollars. That's. their way out of this life. For us, it. was like. we had we saw too many people make it. like this. Like one day they had nothing. and the next day they're on CBS [ __ ]. doing a show for eight years with. whether it's Kevin or whether it's.

>> [ __ ] uh the other guy, the great guy. from Pittsburgh. You've seen that. So it. gives you hope. Now at that situation, you could say, "Fuck that dude. He's a. [ __ ] loser. You could go, "Good for. him. He just moved the notch up a little. bit so I could get on that conveyor. line." That's the beauty of it. Not. looking at that person going, "Fuck him. He sucks. He stole my joke in. Pittsburgh. Who gives a [ __ ] about. Pittsburgh in ' 89? Guy's on TV now.". You know, whatever he is, be happy. because you're next. You know him. You.

[ __ ] do sets with him, >> right? >> You're there in the rotation with him at. the store every night and off. >> It can happen for you, too. >> It happens. [clears throat] So once you. see it, you go, "Oh [ __ ] okay, now I. know what I need to do.". >> That's if you're real. >> That's if you're real. I need to get off. coke. I need to cut this [ __ ] out. I. need to do this, this, and this just to. get me closer to that because I see it. too much. I see people living in an. apartment with eight people and next. thing you know, they got a house in. Beverly Hills. Most people don't see. that, >> right? >> So it's tough to explain to them what.

they because everybody thinks you're. going to hit the lottery and your life's. going to change. Boy, are they mistaken. Everybody thinks $10 million going to. change their life and make them a better. person. It's not. It's not. We think. it's gonna like when you were broke all. those years, you used to say, "I can't. wait to have money.". >> But you never said, "I can't wait to. have money for what?". >> I never thought I would have money. >> Me neither. >> I never said, "I can't wait to have. money." My thought was I want to like. make a living. That's it. >> That's it. That's why I was.

>> Even when I first started with standup, like it was just to make a living. It. was just doing this thing. I I was a. [ __ ] loser in like regular society. I. was good at kicking people. I was a. loser in regular society. I was like I I. didn't graduate college. I barely got. out of high school. I wasn't paying. attention. I I didn't care about school. All I cared about was whatever I cared. about, whether it was drawing or whether. it was martial arts. Those are the. things that I cared about. That's it. So, I always felt like I just need to. find a way to live because I I'm never.

going to be a successful person. I had. like resigned myself to that. I had no. aspirations. >> You. know, you were way worse than me because. you were in and out of jail. >> No, I had no family, felonies, no GED. I. was set to [ __ ] die. >> Yeah. And that little [ __ ] accident I. had in when I was 25 years old, you. know, it's like right now, you go, you. look at the news and there's this big. thing going on by the ice facility by my. house in Jersey in uh Newark. They keep.

[ __ ] banging. And I'm sitting there. going, >> "Here's how stupid we are as Americans.". I don't know if Americans know this. [ __ ]. >> When you go to jail, you lose all your. rights. You know why I don't go to jail, Joe? Because that sleep apnea machine. doesn't mean nothing in jail. We don't care if you die, >> right? >> You know what you have to do to get them. sleep apnnea machine in jail? You got to. go to a manufacturer. They have to send. it to you directly, which we'll get into. later. But my point is that. [ __ ] What was my point? I don't even. know. I got so high before.

>> Your point was that you never thought. you were going to go anywhere. >> I never thought I was going to go. anywhere. >> Until comedy came around and you. realized, oh, this is a thing that I can. do. >> But all I wanted was 4,000 a month. In. my mind, I was such a loser that I said. to myself, if I can make 4,000 a month, I'm a millionaire. >> And today, 4,000 a month doesn't even. get you rent, >> right? >> Not even nothing. 4,000. >> But back then, 4,000 a month was like. 8,000 a month. >> Yeah. 8,000 a month now. >> And you would say, okay, if I made a h. 100red grand a year, I can live. Like,

you can live off 100 grand a year and be. comfortable. Like that's the goal. The. goal was always just to be comfortable. But the thing with you is I've realized. this like very early on. You were gonna. it was going to take a different path. Like I remember watching like you emerge. when you really started like killing on. stage and I was saying and then you know. all these agents you remember I had that. one agent that would get mad that I. would take you on the road with me. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> He would get mad. I was like what the.

[ __ ] is wrong with he's not I don't. think he's funny. I don't think he's. talented. I go you don't know what the. [ __ ] you're talking about. You don't. know anything. I go, "Why does he make. me laugh so hard?" He's like, "Well, you're a degenerate. Like, you're a [ __ ]. crazy person. You got to realize the. audience is offended and you that's your. audience. Like, shut the [ __ ] up." I. knew that you were a different path. So, for you, your emergence came with the. emergence of the internet. And when the. internet came around and we started. doing podcasts, I'm like, "This is the. way that Joey's going to break because.

they'll get to see the real you." when I. told stories when I listen it's like 247. on HBO. >> you may hate [ __ ]. I don't know throw any name up you may. hate that boxer for some reason he he's. whatever he's cocky but then they show. you his house and they show you he's got. four daughters and they show you that he. wakes up every morning and feeds the. daughters you thought he was a [ __ ]. animal in the cage he's an animal but in. life he's just a regular guy and you get.

to see that and go no I like him I I. don't see a guy that just punches people. in the head. I see a guy that's, look at. him. He's got [ __ ] makeup on for his. daughters and he's cooking breakfast. every morning. Then he goes trains like. that. Uh Jason, what was his name? The. big young brother from the UFC, Alexander. Remember he came and he was. knocking heads and they found out he. couldn't do jiu-jitsu. Great guy though. >> Houston Alexander. >> I watched that thing on him. He was. raising four girls. His wife, the crack. mom, left. >> That dude was a tank. >> He was a tank. And he would train in the.

mornings, then go home, cook for the. kids. >> Remember when he knocked out Keith. Jardine? >> Big upset. >> Big upset. >> Big upset. Keith Jardine just tried to. take him out and Houston Alexander was. throwing bombs. [groaning]. >> He was big and [ __ ] strong. >> Jacked. >> Jacked. >> And he was a radio DJ. >> You know, he was a radio DJ. >> I didn't know that. >> Yeah, he was a hip-hop DJ. Find out. where Houston Alexander know like a big. DJ. Like he was successful. >> He always talked to me at the airports. >> Very good guy. Very good. Very good guy. I was like, "Wow.".

>> But you know, you I knew that once I was. able to tell my story where I came from, it was I w I didn't know how to do it on. stage. >> Then after I did on the podcast over the. years, I got better enough to learn how. to do it on stage. >> But you did figure out how to do. something on stage. That was the switch. And the switch was you figured out how. to be Joey Diaz in the parking lot on. stage. >> In stage, that was the that was killing. me. >> But it went like that. >> Like that. I never saw anybody flip a. switch from struggling on stage to.

crushing like you. I was like, "This is. wild." And I'm going to tell you some of. the reasons. I was too focused on. material. You're too focused on your [ __ ]. material. And you know what? At the end. of day, your material sucks. I've heard. it already. And that's what I would. think in my mind. So, I would do better. But when I went up there just with one. thought and attacked it, >> you know what I mean? I mean, it's hard. to explain what I'm saying to you. Yeah. No, you what you what you did was.

you treated the audience like they were. your boys and we're all hanging out. versus treated the audience like I'm a. comic. Here's some jokes. Like when you. first started when I first What did I. meet you in '96? >> 97. >> 97. When I first met you, you were doing. jokes. Like you go on stage and do. jokes. >> I would focus on the jokes on that. paper. Don't focus on that. At 11:30 at. the store, your jokes don't mean [ __ ]. They just saw three hours of top-notch. comedy. What are you bringing to the.

table? You going to go up there and tell. me what I saw on the news? And who. taught us that? Paul Mooney. How to. relax? He would just go up there and in. my mind he was just vibing with the. audience. >> He did a lot of that. >> and it worked. And I took that realm of. relax. >> Mooney taught us a lot. >> Relax. >> He was a real veteran, you know. He was. like one of the only guys when we were. there that was there during the prior. years. and was respected. >> He wasn't like one of those there was a. few guys that were still hanging around.

that had literally acts from the. >> 198. They were still doing like. Springsteen jokes. >> It was terri. It was just bad. >> But his laidback. >> Yeah. >> attitude. >> Always topical too. Always new [ __ ]. Anytime new [ __ ] was going on the news, he had 10 solid minutes on it. >> and quick. >> Yeah. >> That day if it happened they told on the. news that night. >> that day. >> I remember he was crushing on stage. once. We were dying in the back of the. room. He goes, "Oh, that's right. I. write, [ __ ] I write. >> Yeah. No, no, he's [ __ ] We were. dying. >> But that calmness taught me how to I was.

going up there and rushing. >> Yeah. >> I was going up there doing two two. mistakes. Rushing and worrying about. that material like it was Bible, >> right? >> I'll give you an example. Sometimes I get an audition, right? when. I was doing a lot of auditions, and this. is when I learned that early on when I. was auditioning, that if I focused on. that line, those lines, I wasn't going. to book that part. So, I had to dip into Marlon Brando's. [ __ ] tools. Marlon Brando didn't read.

[ __ ] He put those signs on you, so you. felt more organic. But it wasn't even. that. It was know who your character is. I could tell you to go [ __ ] your mother. 18 different ways. Right. >> Right. So, it's the same thing. You have. to just learn not the words, but what. he's trying to say in there. You don't. need the words. The words are [ __ ]. What is this guy trying to say in there? Yeah. You take some of the sentences. that he's saying, but you slow it down.

And that's what he did in that scene. when he tells everybody if my son should. hang by a bolt of lightning, you then Marlon Brando in the hotel. scene. That's a beautiful [ __ ] scene. If you love that [ __ ] like I do, all. those [ __ ] were wearing signs. You've seen the the the behind the. scenes of that. >> So he the their words, the script was. >> were on papers. So Duval was sitting. across from him with a billboard. >> That's hilarious. >> That boss was sitting across from and. you see him like he just look up.

and that I will not forgive and he take. another pause and look at another Q card. and and because he wanted it to be. organic. He didn't want it to sound like. those [ __ ] lines this writer wrote, >> right? >> And that's for everything. If you know. the character, I know the character. I. know me. >> See, that's crazy. [laughter]. >> Everybody had science, dog. >> That is really crazy. >> But it is crazy. >> Did it work. >> in The Godfather? Did it work? Okay. So, go [ __ ] yourself. It.

>> I was watching this thing where they. were very skeptical about him playing. >> Oh, did you see the Sony thing? >> Yeah, >> the Sony series. Very good. >> Yeah. Very good. Very good. >> Yeah. What an interesting imagine. skeptical about Marlon Brando playing. the Godfather. >> Well, brother, he had shot a movie but. on the Bounty and they went down there. and the [ __ ] [ __ ] that chick. and he wasn't even directing anymore. He. was in a hut. He gave like the ad the. camera. You didn't hear about that? >> Yeah. >> That's a huge story. >> That's Apocalypse Now, right? >> No. And then Apocalypse Now, he went to.

a meeting. They gave him all this loot. and they told him, "You got to show up. 180." Like you're supposed to be a Green. Beret, >> right? He showed up 400. >> Well, that's why they kept him in the. dark, right? >> They kept him in the dark and he shaved. black shirt. You know, he didn't give a. [ __ ] He did it however and that's why. they hated him. But at the same time, you got to love the [ __ ] cuz. it's working. >> Yeah. Well, it was authentic, right? >> Yeah. That Apple TV show was very. interesting. >> It was. >> very And I I met that dude. Remember, he.

created The Longest Yard. >> Already did The Longest Yard from. scratch. When he did the Godfather, I think he didn't take two and he went. to do the longest yard. He loved it. So, he created the longest yard. So, when we. shot our longest yard, he was there. every Friday for his little checky poo. Big [ __ ] Big dude, dog. Good. dude. Big hands and [ __ ] Would just. talk to you about stuff. Good dude. So, I got it like that [ __ ] you.

know, be buddy. And I think he did. something else after that. Look at the. movies he did. Look at the movies here. Jamie, when you. get a minute, Paul Rudy's films. >> What was that other question that I. asked you earlier. >> about? >> I asked you to look something up. >> DJ in Omaha. >> Yes, Omaha. >> Yes, Omaha. He was from Omaha. >> That's what it is. >> What radio station? >> Is he still doing it? >> Yeah, it says he currently is. >> He currently is still. Look at that. We. got to call in. I think he fought.

recently. I think he had a fight like. within the last couple of years. >> Did he? >> This says 2017 for MMA. box. Bare knuckle boxing in 2023. >> That's it. >> Yeah. >> Won all four of his bare knuckle fights. >> Yeah. >> Bare knuckle fighting. Dude's a DJ. UFC. veteran. He said, "Fuck it. Let's get. some bare knuckle fights in.". >> How [ __ ] great is that that you could. DJ and then go fight somebody on. >> Crazy. Yeah. >> And that's life, man. That's a life.

that's worth living. You got your money. You're getting your money's worth. You're getting your money's worth. You. want to sit at home, be senitary, whatever, live like, you know, watching. TV and you're scared they're going to. bomb you. You're done. >> You got to keep [ __ ] living. And. that's what, you know? >> Yeah. You got to do things. That's the. thing about life. You got to do things. Too many people just sit around wanting. to do things and not doing anything. It's hard to get moving, though. That's. what a lot of people find. They find. it's hard to like go out to that club. for that first open mic, step into that.

gym the first time. Like D-Rod, uh, Daniel Rodriguez, did you see that. podcast? We talked about how he got. arrested in Tijana. >> You know, D-Rod from the UFC. >> Yeah. >> So, D-Rod uh, beats Kevin Holland, right? Goes to uh, San Diego celebrating. and his boy's like, "Let's go to Tijana. [ __ ] yeah, let's go to Tijuana. Just go. to drink, have a good time." He just won. a huge fight. top 15 UFC welterweight. has an ounce of weed in his bag. He. thinks, "Well, weed's legal in. California. Weed's decriminalized in.

Mexico. Who cares? Maybe I'll bribe. somebody. I'll get out of this." It's a. federal offense to bring weed in. And. even though weed's decriminalized in. Mexico, it's not for visitors. It's only. for Mexican citizens. >> Yeah, bro. >> How'd he get out of that one? >> Well, one of the things he had to do is. become a Mexican citizen. [snorts]. So he's got dual citizenship now. Yeah. He was in jail for [ __ ] eight months, man. >> Oh my god. >> Yeah. He was just training in jail. He. looks great. He looks great now, but. when he got out, he was he's like, "I.

had no protein." So I'm in there working. out every day with [ __ ] eating. noodles and and potato chips. >> No protein. >> No protein. And so he he got real thin. Like he showed a photo of him like the. day he got out. I mean, this. [ __ ] was training every day, twice a day in jail. He's like, "I'm. going to make the most out of this." But. it's he has no food. The food's. terrible. So his body had wasted away. >> I think I used to get protein. >> He couldn't. He asked. He tried to get. it. He said, "You can get girls. You get. all these different things." He goes, "You couldn't get [ __ ] good food. >> in Mexico.".

>> In Mexico. Yeah. >> And he was a cellmate with a cartel guy. The cartel guy took care of him. The. cartel guy recognized him. We'll take. care of you. Hang out with us. And he. just said, "I'm going to keep my nose. down. Just train." But he said he got a. bunch of guys training with him because. they they were inspired. They're like, "Fuck yeah, let's train with D-Rod." So. he had he had all these guys in there. I. said some of them were [ __ ] talented. >> Well, prison's fun. [laughter] I don't. give a [ __ ] what anybody tells you. Once. you get to your destination and you meet. your homies and you create a little. thing, it's like anything else. We just.

can't step out the walls. But you make. it happen. Like I laughed a lot in. there, bro. I laughed. >> I bet you did. >> Because nobody's funnier in prison than. black people. I don't give a [ __ ] what. they tell you. They're the true kings of. the prison system. And I had the two. best. I had I was had the two best. And. you know sometimes. >> Well, that's where you first did. standup, right? >> First did stand up just for the inmates. >> Yeah. Wednesday, Thursday night, just. talk some [ __ ]. >> during the movies. They would go, "This. movie sucks." They would be like PT 109. You know, we don't want to see [ __ ].

Kennedy in a movie. Get up there, Cuba. And I would just go up there and [ __ ]. around and it. >> it was nothing that was I ever thought. about anything. Like I You said. something before thinking about the. first time you went to that open mic. Boy, was that scary for me. >> Terrifying. >> Took me eight months. I was such a. [ __ ] I would call Comedy Works in. Denver every week and every week I'd. cancel. There we did. You have a three. minute spot. I don't feel good. And then. my ex-wife, God bless, as much as I hate. her, she heard me on the phone and she.

has her mother to babysit. And she drove. me down and I got on stage. I remember. getting off that stage going, "How am I. going to do this? I'm married with a. kid." And three months later, she came. home. She's like, "You're a loser. I. don't want to be married to you no. more." I'm like, "Yes." [laughter] Holy. [ __ ] You just did me [ __ ] solid. Then she did me shitty afterward. But. the point is she at least got me to that. open mic. So I have to be grateful for. something that she did. You know, >> it's the hard the first step's the hard. one. You know what I was saying about.

D-Rod, like the first time he ever went. to the gym, his uh girlfriend got him a. membership. She was like he's cuz he. drove by it a bunch of times. He thought. about training, never went in. He had a. bunch of street fights, never went in. He's like, "I think I could do that.". And then finally, she's like, "Look, I. got your present. I got your membership. >> Hold that thought. Can I go pee real. quick? We're at the 2-hour mark. >> We'll be right back. >> We'll be right back. I got to go pee.". >> And. we're back. >> That was a tremendous pee. Oh my.

[laughter] god. >> Cuz the worst is when you try to. concentrate and you have to piss like. >> No, that's the worst. >> You can't fall. >> That's the [ __ ] worst. When you have. to drive and [ __ ] and you got to pee and. I'm to an age I just pull over. >> Yeah. highway, whatever. I p I open up the. both doors and I make believe I'm. looking for something and that dick is. out peeing like I pee on the little leaf. field and now I got after surgery they. gave me a handicap sparking. I'm living. like a doctor. You [laughter] don't know. what life is until you have handicap.

parking dog. You just pull right up and. spot. >> always. >> Yeah. >> Like 4 feet away. When I got in the. mail, dog, I was happier. That made me. so happy. [ __ ] walking. When I go to. events now in Philadelphia, I just pull. up and [ __ ] put a neck brace on, walk. out and [ __ ] Oh, it's been beautiful. Joe, >> what do you have to do to get one of. those? >> The doctor. >> That's it. So, >> the doctor was like, "Do you have it. after surgery? I get it for you for 6. months.". >> And then he goes, "Hold on one second.".

He went online. He's like, "Dog, you. qualify for everything. You got. everything on this list. Everything. Go." And they gave it to me for [ __ ]. like three years. >> Oh, nice. >> Yeah. I [ __ ] Oh, tremendous. Joe, >> how does it feel right now? You're all. right. >> Yeah, it feels okay. I just Listen, what. happens is you do something every week. Like the second week I went third week I. went couple weeks I went boxing and it. was good for like three times. And one. day I went and I had a plan 25 minutes, eight rounds on the bag or the speed.

bag, but I do the bags and I alternate. the bags. Sure enough, round number six, one of the guys comes over. He goes, "Joey, let's hit the mitts." I'm. excited. You know, he's a young guy. Let's do it. I left there. My [ __ ]. leg blew up from that right punch to. cross cuz everything walks into it. >> You're also moving around when you. >> moving around. So, I said, "Fuck it. Now. I got to stand in front of the bag." So, I learned my lesson. And then last week, I went to PT and that [ __ ] had. me. I mean, I love him. >> But TJ, this [ __ ] had me doing.

deadl lifts and wall squats with a thing. with your weight on the back and you go. all the way. So, it's all just to. strengthen the muscles back. >> You have to You have to strengthen. But. I prepped. I listened to you guys. I, you know, I did everything I could. before the surgery. That's what made it. easier. Made a lot easier. I called you. I told you I was doing [ __ ] in 5 days. I. didn't have a cane no more. You know, I. was done. I I started driving at 8 days. Not because I couldn't, but because I. was sick and tired of my wife driving me. places. >> and I got to, you know, argue with her.

in the right hand lane. >> No problem. >> Yeah. Like a [ __ ]. >> Wow. That's crazy. So it was the right. foot, which is the accelerated break. combo. So yeah, >> but yeah, I was out of the house. You. know, the pain pills were done after 8. days. Then I had to bring them back for. PT. They were [ __ ] killing me after. PT. So after PT, you pop one, go home, put ice on it, rub it down with the. cream, and stay off it for an hour or. two. But then at night, I take a walk. around the neighborhood. You could. you're trying to strengthen this [ __ ].

right? >> You know, we were talking about it. outside. Let's let's say you're in a. hospital for 5 days and you eat cereal. for five [ __ ] days. You gain weight. Your muscle breaks down and goes away. Like 5 days stay in a hospital. It could. [ __ ] kill you just cuz again there's. not that much protein. You're not. getting 150 grams of protein a day. >> And you're not moving. >> And you're not moving. So. >> that's the big one. >> I prepped for [clears throat] the. surgery. I took all the supplements ways. too well told me everything. Besarine. I. took [ __ ] My [ __ ] piss is like glows. in the dark at night. purple, yellow.

It's [ __ ] amazing. I did all my PTS, all my BPCs, 157, all my TB500s. I did. them for [ __ ] to the tea like they. told me to. And [clears throat] you. know, listen, I'm 63 and it's a 63 year. old knee. So, I don't expect to be in. the UFC fighting no Gary next week, but. I could walk around and enjoy life with. no [ __ ] pain. Or no, it's not pain. It's like you always have an issue. You. know it. >> Yeah. You always have that thing with. your knees. Sometimes it sticks. Well,

then you got to do simple [ __ ] You got. to get you a piece of paper, put on the. floor, and just roll your heel back and. forth 20 times and do kicks when you're. sitting around. All those things help. the knee. You get that band and you put. it on your leg and you just straighten. out your leg. I do that at home. This is. [ __ ] I do at home, you know, instead of. watching TV. It takes 15 [ __ ]. minutes. >> 15 [ __ ] minutes of your time. And I. got the bull worker. They sent me a bull. worker. >> What's that? [snorts] The thing I told. you last time about it's isometric [ __ ]. >> Oh, okay.

>> So, I did the bull worker. I did the. deadlifts at the bull worker. Now, I'm. [ __ ] because I don't know how to. change the strings. >> So, I got to learn how to [ __ ] change. the strings. But that's all it was. It. was preparing for the surgery, >> right? >> You can't just go in there and not. strengthen the little muscles around the. area. Yeah, >> that's it. >> Yeah. You got to do something. It's very. important, especially if you're going to. go into surgery. I know a lot of people. that have had knee surgery and didn't do. that and it's. >> they won't go to PT. It's like you don't. go to PT. What the [ __ ] is wrong with.

you? >> Yeah, >> that's they came. Listen, I had the. surgery Thursday my house knocking. Friday [ __ ] afternoon. I was home. Friday from the hospital and they said. they're coming over today. That [ __ ] had me going up and. downstairs, walking outside with the. cane, getting in and out of the tub. He. was I don't even have a tub. I have a. walking child, but he was like, I'm. going to do everything with you. So, it. was pretty [ __ ] like I said, this. surgery was a lot better. The company. that I did business with was a lot. better. Last time I did at Center State,

that's like a medical network in New. Jersey. Not bad. They have a great. facility there. But, you know, when I. went to do the surgery, my acupuncture. said, "When you go talk to that guy the. day before the surgery, ask him about. the sanitary conditions at the. hospital.". So, when I went, I said, "Hey, what's. the sanitary conditions at the. hospital?" He's like, "Ah, you hear. rumors.". And then when I went for the surgery, they prepped me up. They gave me. everything. They gave me the IV. They. were right about to do that thing in me.

right back. And he said, "We're not. doing the surgery. I don't agree with. the sanitary." I was pissed, but I'm. like happy. I could have ended. >> The doctor didn't agree with the. sanitary conditions. >> He came out and said, "Oh, no, not. today. We'll do it next week at a. different hospital.". >> What? >> Yeah. >> That's So what were people getting. Mercer or something? something that. Mercer in there and they're like, "No.". Everybody was telling me, "Be careful. with the Mercer in that hospital.". >> Oh, Mercer is [ __ ] terrifying. >> But the funny thing was they gave me a. 20 milligram oxy, which they never gave. you. That's a strong [ __ ] and I.

forgot I took it. Remember I told you? I. forgot. I'm in a Chinese restaurant. yelling, "Chino." I'm like, "What. [laughter] the [ __ ] is wrong with me?". Oh [ __ ] I took that 20. I was [ __ ] up. for eight hours on that thing. >> So they give it to you before the. surgery? >> Yeah, just one other precaution. They. did that. >> A precaution? >> Yeah, precaution. Whatever. the [ __ ]. [laughter] so you don't wake up in the. middle of surgery yelling and [ __ ]. screaming like a [ __ ]. They do that. The epidural. The epidural. was tough because I felt it in my nut. sack. Like they give you a couple shots. and one of the shots made me actually go.

like this cuz I felt it on the bottom. towards the end of the nut sack. Not the. meat potatoes part but towards the end. close to the muffler. [laughter]. >> I was like this is not bueno dog. What. is the thing they do? Uh I I saw this. video online about it. It's like I think. it's called nerve ablasion. I might be. making that up, but they they literally. like cut the nerves off when people have. back pain. Like some people with back. pain, it's like they're in constant.

nerve pain and they were showing how. they just snip the nerves. And I was. like, wait, wait a minute. Could is that. hinder your movement? Like what is what. happens there? Is this it? >> Mhm. >> Yeah. So, what is that? Radio frequency. ablasion for back pain management. What. does it mean? Like, what does that what. do they do? Because the way I was. looking at online, I'm like, it looks. like they just cut the nerves. A. minimally invasive outpatient procedure. uses heat to intentionally damage nerves.

carrying pain signals from the spine to. the brain. Primarily provides long. lasting relief for chronic back pain. caused by arthritis or facet joint. degeneration. Wow. But does does that mean your back. just keeps getting worse, but you don't. feel it? What happens when you do that? Duration. Back, please. Uh, the procedure. typically takes 30 to 60 minutes. You. could usually go home the same day. Pain. relief is not immediate. Often takes 1.

to 3 weeks for the nerve to fully. settle. Relief typically lasts anywhere. from 6 to 12 months, although it can. last for several years for some. patients. Are the nerves permanently. destroyed? No. The nerves regenerate. over time. When the nerve grows back, your pain may return, but the procedure. can be repeated. What is the recovery and risks? What's. the risks? Uh, complications are rare, but include infection, bleeding at the. insertion site, temporary numbness, or. skin irritation. Oh, normal stuff. Huh.

Interesting. Pain. That's nuts, man. Just shut off the pain. You kind of want. to know if it hurts, though. No, I would. imagine like you're doing more damage if. you're if it hurts, >> right? >> It's like cortisol. You're numbing it. >> and then it keeps getting worse, but you. don't feel. >> Well, especially cortisone. With. cortisone, you can only do that so many. times for like joints. Like it can. degrade tendons and stuff cuz some. people, they're knuckleheads, they just. keep getting cortisone shots. Next thing.

you know, your shoulder falls apart. >> Yeah. You don't know. That's the worst. thing. >> Yeah. [clears throat] You could tear. tear sh. That's what they'll let you do. if you let them. So, this is what I'm. saying. Unless you check out what option. Listen, it's 2026, man. >> I'm scared of needles. And I'll tell. you, half my life I [ __ ] up because I. was scared of needles. If I would have. just I don't know what it was. I was. just scared of needles. Now, I'll. [ __ ] take a needle wherever the [ __ ]. you want to give it to me. [laughter]. >> You know what I'm saying? Like, now you. can shoot me when I'm standing up. I.

don't. >> Once you get used to doing peptides, needles don't mean [ __ ]. >> And those are diabetic needles. They. don't do [ __ ]. >> like it's good to stop taking medicine. if you don't want to take. >> ah that makes sense. So [clears throat]. if you're in pain anyway. >> Yeah. >> So a success rate is 70 to 85%. It's most stressful when the procedure. targets the medial branch nerves. responsible for facet joint arthritis. Success typically refi defined as 50% or. greater reduction in lower back pain. U. better physical function. Reduced need. for pain medication. That's big cuz some.

people they're just [ __ ] in. especially back stuff. Some people are. just in agony every day. They wake up. and they're just in agony. And it's a. long road back, you know, to get in. If. you have back pain, it's a long road to. heal that [ __ ] And you got to be very, very smart about it. And you got to. stretch. That's one thing that a lot of. people don't like to do. A lot of lower. back pain. You a lot of that is just. everything's tight. And you can stretch. and relieve a lot of that [ __ ] A lot of.

that. >> Yoga comes in handy. You don't go. anymore, do you? You don't go anymore. >> I do a lot of yoga things though. >> A house. >> I haven't. Yeah, we actually have a yoga. room in the studio. I've never used it. We got a heated room. We could crank. that [ __ ] up to 105 degrees and do. yoga. >> I haven't done the red light. I'll tell. you what else I did after the surgery. that worked. The hyperaric chamber. >> Oh yeah, that's big. >> I did that twice a week. I still got six. >> for recovery. For recovery, that's. fantastic. And my oxygen levels are. always low, Joe. I got to figure I got. to talk to ways to tomorrow. Every.

morning I wake up [snorts] 88%. You. know, I'm always in the red zone. I got. to cuz I think lack of oxygen is helping. me burn fat and a lot of other [ __ ] I. My oxygen's at 88 some days. 8 [ __ ]. five. >> Why would that help you burn fat? >> Because you need oxygen to do. everything. You need oxygen for a. [ __ ] fire. >> So if you have low oxygen, you burn fat. >> How can you recuperate? How can you. fully recuperate with no oxygen in your. [ __ ] I think I don't [ __ ] know. >> I'm not sure that's correct, but I think.

that. um the more you exercise, the more. you're going to get oxygen in your. system for sure. Hyperbaric pain chamber. will help. But once you're like fully. healed up and you can really exercise on. a regular basis, it'll get back to. normal. >> No, because I do breath exercise every. morning. That's what you have to do. You. have to breathe through your nose like. 10 times and then hold it. And then. >> I take the. >> What do they think is causing it? The. low oxygen. >> They don't know. >> They don't know. >> They don't know nothing. They don't know. nothing. They don't want to find out.

nothing. >> But I'll take the cord and the the clip. that you put on your finger and put on. my ear. It gives you a better read. [laughter]. >> What's more accurate. >> so far? The ear for me. I learned that. from an old Filipino lady. Oh yeah. >> In the hospital. She had all the tricks. >> So I do that. I test it. You know, when. I wake up in the morning, I have it. I. check my blood pressure like twice a. day. It's the best it's been in 20. [ __ ] years. >> I think some of those Fitbits can do. that [ __ ] now. Can they do that? What. >> do they measure oxygen levels?

>> So, there some of those um really. advanced wearable devices can measure. oxygen levels too now I think. Are they. Is that real. >> or is it. >> Yeah. Yeah, they all do. They all do. That's part of the deal. They measure. your. >> [snorts]. >> uh heart rate, heart rate variable, >> like those wearables, like the wrist. stuff. >> Yeah. >> Oh, really? >> So, I'll tell you what I got in mine. I. got uh what the [ __ ] In the mornings, it tells you. >> What are you wearing? A Whoop. >> A Whoop. Yeah. Within. >> It does that. The tests oxygen levels.

>> No, it has respiratory rate. >> I got to get back on the Whoop. >> I used to use it all the time, but they. got they've gotten even better. >> Yeah, they This one is a lot better. My. heart rate's good today. My oxygen is 91. cuz I'm here with you. >> and my uh skin temperature is minus one. So it texts all that [ __ ]. >> I uh my problem with wearables is all. these tattoos. So like this Oh, okay. It's reading it now. This reads my heart. rate. This is a Garmin. It reads my.

heart rate some. All right. Now it's not. like it doesn't read through the tattoos. very well. I have to like move it around. to get it. >> That's [ __ ] insane. >> Yeah, >> that's [ __ ] insane. you can't read. through the tattoos because of the ink's. in the way. Doesn't, you know, it's it's. it's literally using some sort of a. visual um system. It's like it's light. Like if I look at the back of the watch, >> there's a there's like a light back. there. >> See? >> Yeah. I have the same. >> So that is flashing into your uh veins.

and then it somehow or another gets. information from that and that's how it. tells you. >> I have the same thing. >> Yeah. So, the problem is all these. tattoos. I thought about like removing. my tattoos just around the whole the. circle where the watch goes just like go. get it lasered. I might do it cuz I. don't see that anyway. I'm always No, >> I always have a watch on and so like now. it's reading. They're speaking about, you know, burning your nerves and all. that [ __ ] and that thing that. >> Mhm. >> I remember one year I had a fung I still.

got a fungi toenail, but I had the. really bad fungi toenail and I saw a. thing in group on for a company in. Studio City that blowtorched it with. heat for six sessions. >> Did it kill the fungus? >> Yeah. No, it never worked. But I went. anyway. And the lady would put like a. mask on [laughter] [ __ ] and she'd. look at my toe and like you would see a. [ __ ] and she was burning it. You. could smell the fungus burning. It. smells like dead [ __ ] [ __ ]. >> And she would be and I would ask her.

questions so she'd have to pull the mask. off. [laughter]. Take a whiff of this [ __ ] fungi. toenail. Oh, there's times I buff it out. myself now cuz nobody will buff it out. for me. Like I can't take it to a. Chinese woman. They'll lose their mind. >> Can't you put like antifungus cream on? >> I put everything on it. It's too deep. It just fungus runs deep. This is. [laughter] This is the fungus I brought. back from Cuba and it's it [ __ ] pops. up from time to time. I get under my tit. like it just the fungus just grows. I.

don't know what I have to eat. Like some. days I eat something and it backfires. and I get all these fungus marks. I get. all itchy and [ __ ] out of a creep. [laughter]. But this [ __ ] burnt that toe for six. weeks. And every week I would ask her. more creepy questions. [laughter] She. would have to take that mask off and. smell that fungus. Dog, it was horrible. [laughter] When she would walk out, she. closed the door like I was like, "Nope.". And the thing never worked. She never. burned me once. But she was serious with.

that blowtorrch. >> It didn't work. >> No, it did nothing. I told you the. fungus is too deep. So they to get rid. of that you have to do a liver test to. see how strong cuz the zapping is. [ __ ] hard on your body and it's. really hard on your liver. So my liver. didn't cut it so they can't zap me with. that medication. >> Did you hear about that lady who had. Alzheimer's? She couldn't talk anymore. They gave her five grams of psilocybin. mushrooms. >> and she's singing opera now. >> All a sudden she came back. She started. talking.

>> They said she hadn't talked in a long. time. She could remember things. I know for a fact I got a good buddy of. mine that stuttered. That was his. childhood thing. Every time he smoked. crack, you should have seen that. [ __ ] not a strut in there. He. talks to you straight. >> Paul, you know Paul Stamuts, the. mushroom expert. He's been on this. podcast many times. He's an illegitimate. micologist, like a scientist. >> He had a horrible stutter when he was a. kid. Took 10 grams. >> Gone. >> Gone. >> Gone. It's unreal. And people will still.

go, "Nah, mushrooms are deadly. They're. going to kill you. [ __ ] you.". >> Isn't that crazy? You need to see the. devil every once in a while in your. life. And that's what people don't. They. don't see the downside because eating. those mushrooms from time to time makes. you step out like THC does and makes you. look at yourself and [snorts] make like. a judgment call on what the [ __ ] you're. doing with your life. >> What are you doing with your life? You. chewing that [ __ ] zin and talking at. the same time. >> Yeah. I I don't know. I don't have big. enough [ __ ] gums, I guess. I don't. know. Don't stay there. >> Yeah. It's the the real problem is that. it's illegal. You know what they should.

do with that? You know what they did. with Colorado with 39% tax? Make. mushrooms 100%. Tax it 100%. We'll still. buy them. People will still buy them. Make it legal. Tax it 100%. You know how. much [ __ ] money they would generate? >> And I guarantee you Well, I was going to. say people wouldn't be doing more. mushrooms, but they definitely would. >> if you But it' be good for everybody. >> Listen, the only thing that stalls. people from mushrooms is the taste. Most. people put it in the grinder and then. they put it in capsules and they do it. that way. All different things. That. should not be a hurdle in 2020.

>> When you told me you were going to get. that property a couple years ago, which. you didn't get. >> Mhm. >> I thought you were going to grow. mushrooms out there. >> Like get somebody to set it up and Joe. Rogan's mushrooms. >> Why? I would never do that. >> with your [ __ ] recipe. Like, >> no. It's that's that's not legal. I. would uh get It's not legal in. federally. That's the problem. I mean, this is part of what Trump is trying to. change with this psychedelics act. So, all that [ __ ] was made illegal in 1970. It was the Nixon administration, the.

Controlled Substances Act. If that. hadn't happened in 1970, we would be. living in a better world. Like. legitimately, we would be living in a. better world. You'd have way more people. having access to this stuff. Way more. people that could get over whatever the. [ __ ] their hurdle is, whatever problem. they have, whatever it is. It's not for. everybody. There's a lot of people that. shouldn't do it. There's a lot of people. that are schizophrenic and that they. just need one mushroom trip and they're. gone and they're never coming back. There's a lot of people that are hanging. on. They're hanging on. And one edible,

>> one mushroom trip, one one one meeting. with the devil and they never come back. That's true. But those people were. already [ __ ] That's the problem. But. for the rest of us, for the rest of the. world, which is like most things, like. some people eat a Brazil nut, they're. dead, right? Some people eat peanuts and. they're dead. They have a deadly allergy. to peanuts. I could eat peanuts all day. long. >> Can you look up how many people diarrhea. from [ __ ] peanuts? >> It's quite a few.

>> Come on. >> Yeah, it's quite a few. It's kind of. shocking. Some. >> Why? Well, here's the really crazy. thing. [snorts] A lot of people think it. has to do with vaccines. They think this. is Brett Weinstein's proposal is that. when you take that vaccine, so there's. aluminum in the vaccine that's an. irritant, right? And this is what fires. up your immune system. And then there's. the dead virus. So your body develops. these antivir. >> It's a lot of people. >> No, four people. >> Four whole people. What about in the.

world? How many people die for about. It's four in the world cuz none of them. die anywhere else. >> Food allergies in general responsible. about a 100 deaths. >> Yeah. This this all made up white people. [ __ ]. >> Well, there's a few people though they. just avoid the peanuts. But there are. people that if they get peanuts, they'll. die. Brett Weinstein thinks it has to do. with eating peanuts right after you've. been vaccinated. And that something I. don't know if he's right, but something. about your body reacting is the reason.

why your body creates this antibbody to. the dead v the dead virus that's in the. vaccine. You know, if you give someone. um whatever it is, any figure out. whatever the disease is, you have a dead. virus and then you have this irritant. And the so the two of them together, your body reacts to this aluminum and it. used to be um um what is the other [ __ ]. they don't put in it? There was mercury, ethyl mercury and methyl mercury. The. two different types of mercury they've. tried to do that in vaccines, but. there's problems with that too.

Obviously mercury is toxic. So is. aluminum. But he thinks that if you have. aluminum from this vaccine and you're in. contact with other things at the same. time, you could develop an an allergy. for those things, whether it's wheat, gluten, whether it's animals, whatever. it is, like it's possible, he believes, to develop an allergy when you get. vaccinated. And he thinks that's with. the rise in vaccines and the rise in. food allergies, he thinks those are. connected. >> Now, let me ask you this. >> I don't know if he's right. If you went.

to your great your grandfather in. Newark, he's an immigrant, and came over. and you told him you had a peanut. allergy, how many times would he smack. you in [clears throat] the [ __ ] face? >> Well, he wasn't a violent man. He was. very, >> but still he go, "Joe, what the [ __ ]. Peanuts?". >> He would make fun of it. >> I grew up on pine nuts every [ __ ]. day. Two pine nuts. I'm a. >> I was allergic to maple syrup. >> Well, the idea of being allergic to. bread back then was preposterous. First. of all, he would get bread like every. two days. They would go down to the. local Italian bakery and buy Italian. bread. That's the only bread everybody.

ate in the house. >> It's so funny. Like I didn't even. appreciate it back then. Like when I'd. have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'd be like, "Why do they give it to me. on this [ __ ] thick bread?" Cuz you. got to cut the bread. Yeah. You know, I'd be like, "Give me some [ __ ] white. bread." Like a real person. >> Well, some Wonderbread. That's what I. wanted. When you're a kid, you want. Wonderbread. I love Wonder. >> Peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a. like I'd get whole wheat. I'd be like, "What is this horseshit?". >> I think you'd be in prison. What is this. terrible [ __ ] shitty brand filled. wheat with [snorts] all the the [ __ ]. chunks of wheat that's in it? Get the.

[ __ ] out of here with your whole wheat. bread. I hated it. Now I love it. Now. it's the only like if I see like regular. white bread, I'm like gh I'm never. eating. >> Let me ask you this. That bread that. your grandfather was getting Yeah. >> in Hoboken in Newark. >> Newark. >> Two blocks away. They were old school. Italian people. >> They made everything in the 70s and 60s. without all the [ __ ] that's in now. >> I remember the bags. Yeah. White paper. They're piping bag. >> Yeah. And the the fresh Italian phenomen. [ __ ] great with a piece of butter. >> When you dip it in the pasta sauce in. the red sauce, you go [ __ ] crazy.

>> So good with butter. You put butter on. that bread and you dip it in that pasta. sauce. Holy [ __ ]. >> I got to stop eating muscles. All right. That's my favorite dish. Muscles with spicy with medium. Yeah. Because you can eat a loaf of bread. I. can't. My body can't [ __ ] do that no. more. >> Especially with the red sauce. >> Oh, a loaf of bread. >> Oh, go through the whole loaf. >> with the butter or the olive oil on the. bread. You need all that [ __ ] I said, I. can't eat muscles no more. I love. muscles. >> I go to Rudy's. I got some muscles. They're big. They look like a [ __ ]. chick. A six Look like a 6ft woman's.

[ __ ] They're that [ __ ] big. [laughter] the muscles. You think I'm. kidding you? These [ __ ] [ __ ] muscles. When I go to other restaurants, you get. those little muscles, then you get a. couple big ones. No, no, no. They give. you nine big chick gorilla raised. [ __ ] [ __ ] clits and they're. [laughter] huge and they put a little. sauce on it. So good. [sighs]. >> Oh my god. Makes me go [ __ ]. >> There was a Thai place that I used to go. to in LA. Thai food. And they had. muscles and big [ __ ] spicy muscles.

They were huge. >> So good. Oh, >> not the Thai place Eddie took me to. The. one next to the [ __ ] Tent Planet on. on Labraa. >> Oh yeah. >> I went in there with Eddie one night and. I already hate Thai food. And Eddie, come on. I'll buy you lunch. I'm broke. >> You don't like Thai food? >> I went in there. There was ants on the. wall. [laughter]. I'm like, "What the fuck?" But I like uh. the one that you took your shoes off. They had the best shrimp pate in the. country. >> You took your shoes off? >> Yeah. There's one on Sunset right across. from the comic book store.

>> Toy. >> toy. >> Oh, Toy Time. >> Toy Time. Yeah. Oh, that place legit. >> Solid place. >> Very good place. >> The best place ever was What's the place. next to. >> the Laugh Factory? >> Green Blast Del. >> Green Blast. >> Oh, that was that was a great joint. >> Until I tell you this story. I'm in. there with Ralphie May one day and he. gets a roast beef sandwich. and he's eating a roast beef and I could. see the ants on his arm. >> and he opens it up and there's ants all. over the sandwich. Listen to me. Call. the waiter. The waiter is still charging. for half a sandwich.

>> That's hilarious. >> I was like he's like I ain't paying. [ __ ] This [ __ ] had ants on it. I didn't even eat the other one. The. ants were on his [ __ ] arm. Joe, >> they weren't in the sandwich. They were. on. >> They were in the sandwich, too. >> Oh, so it was just all over the place. It were all over the place. >> Green Blatz. >> Green Blatz, which I'll still eat that. I don't I don't even think it's. >> I only ate there a few times, which is. weird because it was right next door to. the Laugh Factory. >> It was good, too. >> I kind of stopped going to the Laugh. Factory after a certain point. It was a.

certain point in like the 2000s where. I'm like, I think I'm done with this. place. And I was mostly at the store. >> Yeah, I like the Laugh Factory. And I. like the improv at the store. I love the. improv still. I always did the improv. still, >> but The Laugh Factory to me was like. there was something about it that was. like sterile. >> There was something about it. Not a bad. thing, but it was like very much like a. lot of people got TV deals out of the L. kind of comedy. >> Yeah. >> You know, it was uh the store was the. dream. You know, the Laugh Factory was.

nice and everything, but then it was. also like you remember Scott Day, he. would discourage he would try to. discourage you from going to the Laugh. Factory. He's like, "You're a comedy. store comic. I laugh. I'm like, "Listen, man. I got to go up everywhere. I can't. I'm developing. I can't be just limiting. myself to one.". >> But after a while, you're like, "I. develop better at the store.". >> Well, this thing about the store, too, you got three totally different. environments. You got the belly room. environment, which is like very. intimate, very small, 70 people, and. then you got the O, which is the gritty.

That's that's the psychopaths at 11:30. on a [ __ ] Tuesday night. And then you. got the main room, which is the big. show. There was so much opportunity. >> I [ __ ] always hated the main room. till the last 5 years I was there. I. just couldn't get the formula for it. But the original room, I knew it like. everything. >> The original room, you're locked into a. living room. >> You're locked into it. And that's and. then the piano and the whole [ __ ]. thing. >> The main room was big, big stage, big. crowd. It was big ceiling. Everything.

was big. It was different. It was a. different kind of a show. >> Remember the first time I showcased for. Jamie? I was like, "Man, what are you. doing here? You belong in Las Vegas, man, in a showroom. You're not an LA. comic. That's hilarious. [ __ ]. >> Jamie always had the craziest ideas for. people. >> But he at the end he was a really good. guy. At the end of the day, he really. tried hard. >> Well, he loved comedy. >> Yeah, he loved. All those people were. very nice. You know, I just went to. Nashville for the comedy festival. >> Uhhuh. >> And I ended up doing the old Osprey, you. know, that theater there. What's the.

name of the theater? >> Grand Old Opry. >> Yeah. >> And it was great. But the great thing. about that that everybody from the. improv was there last night. I saw. people that were there for 25 years and. we just were dropping stories. Aaron. [snorts] the guy Hartman. Hartman looks. great. He's a big peptide guy. Big. everything guy. He lives in Nashville. Uh Joel from Florida. >> Oh, >> you know when you get to see those guys. and you're like, "Wow, we've been in. this [ __ ] together. >> forever.". >> Like I told Aaron, I met Aaron in.

Irvine. Then she came to Hollywood and I. was like psyched cuz she gave us an. 11:00 show and she was pregnant. She was. hot. She used to wear the farmer those. things that. >> overalls. >> The overalls. Oh, she was [laughter] so. hot. I still tell her when I talk to I. always tell her, "Aaron, you sexy. savage." I always [ __ ] torment her. But it was really nice to see them and. everything, you know, Hartman me told. the story when I told him I was going to. bang his head off the wall. You know,

just craziness that look at us now. We're all in there having a great time. 20 years ago, we were always at war with. one of you guys. We cursed too much, you. know. We were talking about when I got. fired with Pablo. >> Yeah. >> And then he found out I wasn't doing. Coke and he felt really bad, you know? So, >> it was uh it was just great to see what. we've been through together. And now. after everything, you're like, "Fuck." I. was there the [ __ ] night Joel. started. >> I was in Miami, right? was in Miami 98.

>> New Year's of 99. >> That's crazy. >> And Madonna came in with Chris [ __ ]. rock. >> Wow. >> And to watch somebody New Year's Eve, I. forget who the [ __ ] it was, but yeah, that's you look at those people like we. took the ride. We were kids. We were. [ __ ] kids together. >> And also, you have to think like imagine. having to. employ you. Imagine being a businessman. and you got to employ you in 98. >> God bless him. Not good. [laughter].

>> God bless him. >> Do I remember the improv really liked me. and I [ __ ] him over in like 20 guy? The original guy at Coconut Grove. The guy who liked to party. >> I forget his name now. Rich Jeff. Give. me a minute. >> Yeah. >> Give me a minute. >> The original guy. >> Yeah. Crazy. >> He was fun. Crazy. >> Fun guy. >> Really fun. He's from Cleveland. He. lived in Cleveland. >> Like the party. >> and his wife hit the lottery for a. million dollars. People didn't realize. how nutty Coconut Grove was. That was. the nuttiest improv. That improv. We.

would go out afterwards and have Cuban. coffee and eat Cuban sandwiches like. 2:00 in the morning. >> We used to go to that news thing, the. news stand. >> It was open till 5 and it closed for an. hour. >> Tell stories. Yeah. >> And you could drink till all night, but. >> Oh, yeah. >> So [snorts] they closed from 5 to 6. But. whatever booze you had on the table, you. could keep. So you would say, "Give me. like eight beers." And then they would. open up again at 6:00 and you're right. there. Hey, [laughter]. >> it goes for one hour. >> at 5 in the morning.

>> I remember one night you were on Conan. O'Brien. This is 97, right? No, you did. somebody's late show. >> Okay. >> It was the week that our friend got. shot. >> Oh, the Harman thing. >> Hartman thing. >> You can't believe I remember. See, I'm. just telling you that I don't know [ __ ]. Look up the dates. when Hartman got. shot, you were on that show like you. were with me all weekend. >> and I stayed and then you went to New. York to shoot that and then that weekend. Hartman, you know, >> but I'll never forget I was involved in.

the threesome when you were on that talk. show and [clears throat] I'm it's a. chubby chick and a hot chick and we're. snorting coke and I'm trying to eat ass. and I'm looking at you. I go, "Pull on. put on NBC." So, I go watch Joe and I'm. watching you as I'm trying to tackle. these two animals and I'm [laughter]. like, who the [ __ ] going to believe this? Chubby chick got up. She's like, you. didn't want to be with me anyway. You. always wanted the hot chick and slammed. the door. It was a full night. It was a. full [laughter] night though.

>> Cocaine, >> but all that [ __ ] You see these people. now and you're like, "Bro, we all went. through it together.". >> Yeah, >> we all went through it together. What a. great [ __ ] thing to have at this time. in your life that we all we're all here, you know? [ __ ] really nice, man. It. makes you go, "Wow, this comedy life was. worth every [ __ ] penny I got into. it.". >> It's a fun ride when you look back and. you think like, imagine when you were. first starting out, imagine that it. would turn out this way. You never.

imagined it. And then you look back. like, what a fun ride. What a. extraordinarily fun life. >> I'll never forget. And you had it pinned. down from the beginning. I never even. told you this. One of my f I got to LA like January 97. in that summer like August. >> That guy. [clears throat]. >> Nope. >> No, that's Cleveland Improv. >> I know it says he own the uh one in. Miami, too. >> Oh, no. It was the manager. >> Oh, >> no worries though. >> Thank you. Sorry. >> What were we talking about?

>> Uh something pinned down. Manager. >> Who [ __ ] knows? We were talking about. oh never imagining that looking back on. this life like when you first started. you would never imagine it would turn. out this way. >> You said something about me once that. was right. Like I wasn't on the podcast. but you were talking to somebody. You're. like I remember when that guy first came. on the scene. He was scary. He had a. leather jacket and all this [ __ ] and he. was buck wild. You know I just got to LA.

and I I do a couple spots. Uh the guys. at my my first talent coordinator at the. improv said to me, "Hey, would you like. to work Irvine or and I go, "Yeah." He. goes, "I got an MC spot. Go do it next. week." My first time I go down there and. I had the crazy girlfriend then with all. the teeth. >> Oh yeah. >> And this [ __ ] head chef comes. up to me and her and he goes, "Hey, she's got the same mouth as Gina Davis, the nice [ __ ] mouth." That was my. first weekend ever. And at first I took.

it kind of weird. And then I after the. show, I went up to him and I go, "Hey. man, who the [ __ ] do you think you are. saying something like that?" He goes, "What are you doing? If you go at me, you'll never work on improv again." I. just kicked him in the [ __ ] stomach. as hard as I could. They called me the. next day. Joey, come on, man. I kicked. him. The guy fell apart. All of a. sudden, he wasn't a tough guy no more. I. was just so pissed. How can you say that. to somebody's [ __ ] girlfriend to. face? I just [ __ ] front kicked him. and I hit him somewhere in the stomach. He was holding on. I'm calling Hartman. Call [ __ ] Artman. I don't give a.

[ __ ] I remember getting in the car. going, "Joey, you can't let the old Joey. get in the way, man. This is not good. You should have just walked away." But. no, why would I walk away? [ __ ] that. [ __ ] That was the problem. A lot of. people would walk away from that [ __ ]. and you just lost. You just became a. Hollywood [ __ ] When you say [ __ ]. you, they'll respect you [ __ ] more a. year later. And they did. They ended up. giving me more work. So, >> was that guy still there when you went. back? >> No. He was like a a cute cook that. thought he was cute. like he Orange. County. He wasn't gonna get smacked. I.

don't give a [ __ ] who you are. [gasps] I. [ __ ] kicked that [ __ ] I. didn't give a [ __ ] Jack. I was so buck. wild at the store in the beginning when. I hit the kid in the head with the. microphone. and then they came and got me in La Hoya. and I took the pool the pool. Remember. they had that pool table in La Hoya? The. bumper they had a bumper pool table in. La Hoya, >> right? >> So these guys kept threatening me that. they were going to come games. So I got. I became [ __ ] uh Chuck Norris and. Code [laughter] of Silence. I took all. the pool balls and I put them in.

different places so I had to throw them. at him as a weapon. Then I hit all the. [ __ ] pool cues. You ever see code of. silence? That's Seagal stole it from him. in that [ __ ] Bobby Lup movie. But. that was that was Chuck Norris when he. would fill a bag with pool cues and hit. you in the head with it and [ __ ] in the. pool hall with the Colombians. >> Dog and that [ __ ] I saw them. I. was sitting outside the comm the La Hoya. storm. They had that little bench facing. the Chinese restaurant. You don't. remember La Hoya no more. And I saw them.

at the light and they made the turn and. I took one of those balls and I kept it. right here. And they pulled up and took. water pistols out. And I [ __ ] took. that ball and threw everything I had and. hit that car and all of a sudden the. [ __ ] car went boom. These. [ __ ] took off. Jack. >> code of silence. I remember this because. this was like the first like real movie. that like got respected by it wasn't. just a karate movie. It was a movie that.

was about like an undercover cop movie, right? Wasn't it. >> against the Colombian? >> But it was the the fighting part was. just part of it. >> It wasn't that it was, you know, it was. just a karate movie like most of his. other movies were just karate movies or, you know, they were kind of campy like. missing an in action. It was a lot a lot. of it based on the karate. THIS WAS OH, we got hit by the pool ball. Oh, they. jump him. This is a terrible movie. >> This is ter This is [laughter] terrible. I thought men.

>> It was the [ __ ] back then, >> but it's so When you watch it now, you're like, "This is the corniest fight. scene of all time. These guys would. overwhelm him.". >> Listen, man. Uh. >> Good Men Wear Black. Chuck Norris had a couple movies where. he showed his [ __ ] This was not one of. them. Walker, Sheriff Marshall was not. one of them, [laughter] okay, with the. wig doing push-ups still on channel 89. That wasn't him. I love Chuck Norris, but Chuck Norris made some good movies.

early on that were dark. That's why. nobody talks about Good Men Black. What's the other one? The Octagon. >> Oh yeah. >> You forget about all those. >> Oh yeah. Is this Good Men Good Guys Wear. Black? 1978. Wow. How many [ __ ] people did this guy get. into martial arts? Like how many people. because of Chuck Norris movies wind up. doing martial arts? A [ __ ] shitload. >> I got into Tank Sudo because of him. >> because he was one of the first Tanks.

Sudo guys. Then he split. >> He made his own thing or whatever the. [ __ ]. >> It's It's kind of amazing when you think. about how many karate guys didn't make. it. >> Like how many guys didn't become karate. movie stars and Chuck Norris did? Like. how many of them were there? How many. karate guys wanted to be movie stars and. couldn't figure it out? And he did. >> I saw every martial arts film made in. the 70s, even with the black. exploitation. The movie was called Three. the Hard Way. Jim Brown, Jim Kelly, and.

other really good black. >> Jim Kelly. >> Jim Kelly was trying to break into that. thing. There was a lot of guys. >> And then after Bruce Lee died, the whole. thing opened up. Yeah. Jet Lie, Jet, Bruce, >> Bruce Lie. You had all these [ __ ]. bruises and that just that that was the. end of it. But I was notorious. I went. to see all those [ __ ] movies growing. up. Billy Jack. >> You don't remember Billy Jack? >> I remember Billy Jack. >> The Indian. >> Oh yeah, I remember. I remember the.

black hat. I remember the whole damn I'm. going to put this foot on the side of. your face. All that [ __ ] you even had a. white Mormon dude be martial. Everybody. Chinese, black, everybody played [ __ ]. kung fu. Everybody. And that movie Code. of Silence is Dennis Finina's one of his. first movies. He's really Yeah. He's a. sidekick in that movie. >> Ah, >> [ __ ] just, you know, people forget. how many kung fu movies or martial art. based movies they actually made in the. 70s. [ __ ] unreal.

>> Oh yeah. Unreal. >> And the [ __ ] that was getting sent here. from China, it's like uh kid porn. They. were just sending it every weekend. [ __ ] Chinese people beating up on. Chinese people, jumping. Remember the. more they got older, like by 70s, Bruce. died in 73. By 76, there was movies that. the guy had like a thing of gold. It. weigh like 10 two tons and he would. throw it up a hill and then jump and. catch it on top of the hill. Come on. now. You lost me. The one-armed. swordsman. You lost me. You know, the. guy's got one arm and he's. >> Some dudes love those kung fu movies.

They were completely. >> and forget about black people. recreate. like you know when people talk about. Bruce Lee it was a sensational cultural. [ __ ] phenomenon when he came. >> and the people that think about all the. people he opened up to martial art. movies and martial arts in general I. mean oh yeah. >> Chuck Norris was the second half of it. you know Bruce was the first Chuck. Norris was the second and I hate to. admit it UFC is the third big wave of. that that. >> you know and nobody goes to karate no.

more okay how many karate schools you. got it's for kids 10. They make them hit. a paper, >> you know. >> Yeah. They're going to jiu-jitsu schools. now. >> They're going to all different schools. So, >> it's changed. The culture has changed. You know, in 73, everybody went to Wing. Chung Kung Fu. >> Yep. >> You taught judo, you became a Wing Chung. dude now because you weren't going to. make no money off judo. Nobody was doing. judo back then. You had to go to. Brooklyn to get Sabat classes. Remember. Savat? >> Yeah. >> The French? >> Yeah. >> You had to go to Brooklyn. In those.

days, New York had everything. But then. when like our friend, the one who does. the MMA podcast with you, Matt Sarah, when Matt Sarah got into jiu-jitsu, he. would have to go from Long Island. >> all the way to like close to. Philadelphia. It'd be 3 hours on. Sundays. Jiu-Jitsu wasn't everywhere. yet. When he got into it, he would have. to travel. He I think he told the story. one of these podcasts, he would [snorts]. have to drive to Jersey just on Sundays. They just did jiu-jitsu on Sundays cuz. that's all that was available. M.

>> now you got a jiu-jitsu school at every. [ __ ] corner. And who's that because. of? That's cuz of the UFC, man. It just. blew it the [ __ ] right open. So, who. knows? I may be wrong. >> No, I think you're right. For sure. [clears throat] The UFC opened up. Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Hoist Gracie. Hoist. Gracie winning the first UFC's that. opened up Brazilian jiu-jitsu all over. the country. >> Saying, "What the [ __ ] is this?" This. >> Yeah, it was a completely new. I mean, there was no Brazilian jiu-jitsu in. America. You never even talked about it. I did martial arts my whole life. I've. never even heard of you heard of it, but.

>> I don't even know if I was. >> so far off to you. >> I barely even paid attention to it. It. was like it could have been anything. And then all a sudden the UFC came. along. It's like, oh my god, that's the. thing that everybody needs to learn. >> That's what's wild now. It's like how. many people trained martial arts in. comparison to like 50 years ago. It's. not There's no comparison. There's way. more people that know how to fight now. than like ever before and ever before. >> Or at least they know how to neutralize. somebody. Well, a lot of people are. training now.

People learn to neutralize people. Anybody who studies jiu-jitsu ain't. going to bully bully you. >> Okay? They're going to neutralize you on. the street. What are you going to do? Break your [ __ ] shoulder on the. street. They're trying to neutralize. you. Hold you down. Hey, take a breath. Relax. Don't swing at me cuz I'll break. this [ __ ] arm. Relax. >> You ever see the video of Matt Sarah? I. think it was in Atlantic City. >> and might have been Vegas somewhere in a. casino. Some drunk guy is causing. problems and Matt winds up taking him. down and mounting him until the the cops.

come. He's just holding on to the guy, just sitting on the guy, holding on. There it is. The guy swinging. Look at. Matt. Like you've got a literal. Brazilian jiu-jitsu world champion and. he's just mounting you laughing. Like. you think about picking on the wrong. guy. [laughter] He's just holding. I. mean, the guy's completely helpless. I don't remember the whole story behind. this. Look at the security guard coming. I was like, "Relax. I got this guy.". >> You and I both know McMe kick him in the. face and get up and leave. >> He could literally. >> This is what I'm telling you. The.

jiu-jitsu, that atmosphere doesn't teach. you to do that. It just holds you down. going, "Hey, >> well, he has nothing to prove." You. know, >> no. Catch your breath. >> He's laughing. He's a world champion. I. mean, I don't know if he had been the. UFC champion by that time, but you know, >> what do you do? Kamar somebody on the. street and break their shoulder. Now you. have to live. You're going to go to. jail. Sued. You lose everything. >> I know jiu-jitsu people take you down. like they're bouncers. Yeah. Did he just. neutralize you? It. >> was the night before his Hall of Fame. induction to the [laughter]. >> 2018.

>> Okay. So, that's way past the time that. he won the title. Yeah, that's. hilarious. That's That's very funny. That poor guy. Imagine like knowing that. guy could have killed you and he was. just so nice. All he did was hold your. wrists and sit on your chest for a. little while. >> Look at him. He look like he was on a. boat having a good time. He's like, "Hey, somebody get me a water or. something.". >> He's the guy's literally helpless. He. has no fear whatsoever that guy hurting. him, you know? It's like it's like a. child. It's like your little child's. having a temper tantrum. Like, come on. It's [snorts] Matt Terra. It's funny.

There's so many dummies out there. This. is a part of the problem in this world. It's hard to get your [ __ ] together. So. many people just stumbled through life. just never getting their [ __ ] together. >> [ __ ] my friend last night. She has. like a cooking show on YouTube. She. goes, "I had to stop doing it, Joey.". He goes, "My mother would watch and. these people would say like like the. weirdest like you know everything, show. me your tit, show me your [ __ ] you. can't cook, [ __ ] [laughter]. and you're like, you know, how much long. am I going to take this [ __ ] for?

>> People are so horrible. >> They're [ __ ] horrible on the. internet. You know, this young girl. looking good." She like, "Joey, I had to. cancel the [ __ ] thing." She was doing. like a workout, a cooking thing. She. goes, "No, I just play with my cats. That's it." And people love cats. >> She goes, "That's it." But it's it's. impossible the [ __ ] you so many animals. out there. >> and they're out there and they don't. give a [ __ ] and they say [ __ ]. >> It's also there's zero consequences for. saying horrible [ __ ]. >> and they're trying to get a rise out of. the other people in the comments too. So. they're trying to say outrageous [ __ ] so.

that other people react to it so that. you'll read it, you'll react to it. >> It's the dumbest [ __ ] thing ever. >> It is. I was thinking this last night. It's kind of a crazy thought, but you. know, everyone is addicted right now to. social media and addicted to going. online and just addicted to content. You're constantly getting content. You're constantly interacting with your. phone. And this is a very new thing, right? It's within the last 20 years. this has happened to people. This is. like prepping us for what's coming next.

We're going to look back on these days. and we're going to realize, oh, the. addictions to the phones, the addictions. to staring at the screens and checking. your email and looking at YouTube and. looking at Instagram and looking at. Twitter, that's just preparing you for. you being completely connected to. electronics forever. This is like the. early stages of it. I was thinking about. it last night while I was watching this. television show. I'm watching this crazy. show. It's called From. Have you seen. this show? >> No. No. It's [snorts] nuts. By the guys.

who made Lost, one of the dudes that's. in Lost is the main star of it. It's. [ __ ] great show. Like really good. show. Like very unpredictable, twisted, just like Lost. Like crazy show about. these people stuck in this town. They. can't get out. It's impossible to get. out. But I was thinking while I was. watching this, I was like, why why is. everyone because no one has a phone. there and everyone's just locked into. this place. I was like, your phone is. preparing you. The addiction to our. phones are preparing us to the next.

stage of what life is going to be like. as a person. This is just the gate. The. phones are the gate. But what's coming. next? You're going to reminisce about. the days of the phone. Oh, you remember. when we had phones? We had to look. things up. You had a little thing. You. got to charge it. Remember when you had. to charge it? That's how we're going to. be. We're moving into some weird new. area. They're building these [ __ ]. data centers everywhere and everyone's. like, "Oh, the data center. [ __ ] great.". Like, what? What is that? What are you.

doing? Why are you building these things. that need to be powered by nuclear. reactors? Why you do why why you. building these things that are sucking. up all the [ __ ] water? Why are they. putting these things out in the middle. of the desert, big as [ __ ] five. football fields, huge [ __ ] giant. buildings filled with computers? Like, what the [ __ ] are we doing? And the gates is this goddamn phone. This phone is the gate. We're We're. opening up the door to us completely. >> I tell you why. My daughter can't watch. a whole movie. >> They have no attention span.

>> Okay. 40 minutes in she has to leave and. then she'll start it from the next day. I had to watch Scarface though. >> You had her watch Scarface? >> Yeah, cuz she we watch we do. experimentals at the house. [laughter]. >> We did the fight club. We do all that. [ __ ] So she said, "Dad, I always only. watch the part when he shoots the the. brother-in-law, you know, that's the. only part it's always on. When I come. down, I go, I want to watch from the. beginning." She enjoyed it for a little. while. I went upstairs. After one scene,

I'm like, I can't watch this again. She. goes, I'll stay up. Two days later, mother goes, did you see. the review she wrote on it? And I go, no. She goes, take a look at it. And. she's like, I enjoyed the movie. I was a. fan because I was CubanAmerican. But. then as the movie rolled on, I figured. these Cubans don't know how to treat. women. [laughter] He goes, they smacking them and shooting. >> All you do is sit around. [laughter].

>> Wait for me. [ __ ] you. >> She didn't [ __ ] like that at all. She's like, I know my dad's Cuban, but. Jesus Christ, they're so mean to their. women. >> I'm like, [snorts] do I act like that? She go, "No, but. >> that's the cocaine days." The. >> Yeah. She said, she goes, "That gave men. a different [ __ ] thing." I go, "Mercy, that was 40 [ __ ] years ago.". >> Not only that, you're dealing with the. people that were the criminals of Cuba. that were kicked out of Cuba that made. their way to America. Like, this is not. normal people. >> No. No. And now they're about to let the.

second half out. Everything. >> What are they doing to Cuba right now? Like, >> well, they're not surviving. They don't. have any uh power. No gasoline. It's. funny because every couple days I get an. algorithm was just promoting Cuban. videos. Cuban videos. People in like they had. kids going to work out. They took them to like this little. place. Everything had papers on it. They. did pull-ups, sit-ups with the head. The.

pipes were broken. You got to see these. [ __ ] kids doing full workouts where. what we wouldn't even look at. They're. body weightight workouts, you know? They talking they they go around. Baradero and they interview people and I. don't know what this is doing. I don't. know what this is doing because we're. two years away from Cuba being legit. They're going to go back down there. after this whole thing goes or Raul. whatever whatever they decide they can't. get fuel from Venezuela. How long is it. going to take? I mean they're not going. to be happy till they have a Starbucks.

in Cuba. >> So what happened was they were getting. their oil from Venezuela, right? We took. over Venezuela. We cut off their oil. >> Cut them off. And so what is the United. States trying to do with Cuba right now? They're trying to get rid of the. communist government. >> They're trying to Well, they're gonna. they charged Raul Castro with something. recently. That's the beginning. This is. going to end up like Norel's. >> brother. You're going to wake up one day. and on ABC News. There they are in Cuba. pulling people out. And. >> doesn't China and Russia have a. relationship with Cuba? Isn't that a. problem?

>> Not really, because they're not paying. their bills. That's why Cuba's starving. When they had Russia, Russia was [ __ ]. doing everything, but then they didn't. need them no more and they cut them off. I think there's they do small trades for. sugar or something. >> It is kind of crazy for the United. States to have an enemy that's 90. minutes offshore in a boat. >> Trump administration said on 2026, May. 20th, indicted former Cuban President. Raul Castro for murder based on the. downing of two planes near the Cuban. coastline in 1996. It killed four.

people. As a historian of Latin American. and US foreign policy, I believe the. indictment may be the prelude to a. direct US military action against Cuba. >> This is the beginning. >> This is uh Kevin A. Young from UMass. Amherst. Uh before Castro, the last US. indictment of a Latin American leader. occurred in January 2026. That's the. Venezuela thing. Since January, US has. ended the flow of Venezuelan oil to Cuba. and has economic and military pressure. to prevent other nations from trading. with the island. Trump recently.

threatened a friendly takeover of Cuba. I believe what's missing from most. recent analysis of this situation is the. history of US aggression against Cuba is. essential context for understanding the. Trump administration's recent. escalations. >> Yeah. Once they indict you, they're. coming for you. It's just a matter of. time. >> Like the same. >> and they're just starving the country. >> We walked up. Yeah. They just. >> and then they'll come up with a. solution. Here's your solution. You need. to put in new leadership. >> They're not telling you there's a. shooting or two in Cuba every night. Cuba's not getting there's no power.

There's no electricity. They have. roaring what do you call? And that was. yesterday. >> earthquake. >> Yeah. Biggest one in 150 years. >> So they're just [ __ ] they're doing. everything they can was the biggest one. in over 150 years. >> Oh my god. >> Yeah. So everything is looking like. right now that's it. They can survive. this. >> [ __ ]. >> So. >> So what happens to those people? They. just wait this out or the United States. and so they get no resources, no. supplies. >> You got two things in Cuba. You have.

people that don't know. >> You never watch that 30 for30 with El. Duk when they won the championship and. they said people in New York were. throwing toilet paper and the wife was. grabbing it saying in Cuba this is gold. Why you throwing away toilet paper? We. have no toilet paper in Cuba. That's a. mentality. So 50% of those people have. been brainwashed to the where they, you. know, every day there's a bullhorn. buenos. You know, when the communists, whatever. they call each other, >> yeah, comrades, we're winning the war.

We're getting close. You know, what do. you mean I'm getting closer? I'm down to. 118. I was walking around at 170. >> How are we getting closer to a victory? So they're getting sick of that [ __ ]. They say the bugs that land on you at. night are [ __ ] just atrocious. these. bug, you know, they have real [ __ ]. bugs on that island. Not to mention, they all have syphilis. Cubans have I think half my fungi. toenail is syphilis cuz it smells like.

it. You know what I'm saying? But on the. on the [ __ ] not jokey thing, the. Cubans got two weeks left. Two weeks. from today. >> And so you think they're going to. invade? >> Yeah, they're going to invade. Take. Madur uh take Raul out. And then what do. you got? They're going to install some. new. >> I remember a couple months ago there was. a shooting in Cuba of a boat. You. remember that, right? Right, Jamie? >> Some people were out there fishing and. the Cuban Navy shot him. >> What? >> Like three months ago? Oh, yeah. This is. >> Why did they shoot?

>> I don't know. They were investigating. it. >> Cuba hands out weapons to citizens and. tell them prepare for an invasion. Holy. [ __ ]. >> Holy [ __ ] That's June 7th. That's. Sunday. >> Sunday. Holy s distributing weapons to its. citizens in fear of a US invasion. >> They reportedly started handing out. weapons to civilians as the government. urges population to prepare for a. potential US invasion. Reports from. South American publication version Final. stated uh against the backdrop of the.

deployment of American military power. near the island. The government of. Havana began distributing weapons to. citizens officially urging them to. prepare for an imminent foreign. invasion. What if the citizens use that. weapon to take over the country, >> which they should do? That's what they. [ __ ] should do. Just call the [ __ ]. crazy risk. >> Start handing out guns to people. >> Like I said, man, >> all a sudden your population is armed. and you're telling them what to do. [sighs]. >> and they don't have any money and you. don't have any money either.

>> Look, man, when I started doing okay, I. contacted my sister. I offered her a free ticket out of Cuba. money. Whatever I got half is yours. You're my blood, you know? >> Right. >> I don't know if I can do that. Okay, why. don't we do this? Why don't I fly you to. Jersey? You go to your mother's grave. You go see where her house was, her way. of life, and then I'll take you back. She told me, "I can never do that cuz. I'm married to one of Fidel's guys. I. don't even want to go to the United. States.". >> Oh jeez.

>> So, she was so brainw And after that, she was still my sister, but I couldn't. help her. Well, you're used to what. you're used to. >> Yeah. And that's what a big chance of. coming to America and it was not knowing. where you're going to eat and how you. going to live and where you going to get. money. Are you going to work? Are you. going to have a great. >> They got programs for all those people. They got churches. Cuban people have. churches. They're Catholics. >> Is there also a thing where you if you. leave Cuba, I think there's it's a a. cleaner path to get to become a United.

States citizen. You're fleeing. >> Yes. It's easier. I think so. something. like that if you're violent dictatorship. military dictatorship. >> [ __ ] dude. >> It's just like. >> what are they going to do about that? >> And then you got to we're talking about. Vegas. What's going to happen in Vegas. if Cuba reopens? >> What do you mean? >> They're going to put gambling back. there. You know, the Americans going to. put gambling back there. They were. negotiating this already with Hers. already. They're talking.

>> turn into a resort, a location. They're. not going to rip down the architecture. that original architecture is what makes. Cuba and the cars and [ __ ] but also. some something else. But and I know. America knows this. >> Those oceans are booby trap. >> up to a mile out of Cuba. There's a ton. of [ __ ] that they have booby trapped. mines, all that [ __ ] They planted those. during the Bay of Pigs invasion. >> Look at this. >> Cuba 1957. >> 1957 back when the mob ran it.

>> Look at everybody dressed impeccably. They would go there, people, know. nothing. >> They loved it back then. They loved. going to Cuba. People would go there, live it up, >> and sex was free and cheap and you could. [ __ ] a chicken those days. [laughter]. You get [ __ ] in the ass by a guy with. >> Must have been amazing, >> dog. It was unreal. That's why the whole. point of Kennedy and all that was for. them to get Cuba back. The Italians, they were making too much money out of. Cuba. And now they want to start to put. drugs in there and [ __ ] towards when. they took it down. Cuba's been [ __ ].

riddled with [ __ ] for years. Every. bad luck that they have, they created in. the 50s and 40s because it was a sex. heaven. Americans would go down there on. a Friday and not come back. And you. know, it was whatever it cost here, $8,000 will cost you $80 to get your. dick sucked for three days and fed, people rubbing your feet and [ __ ]. >> Castro Revolution had a major effect on. Las Vegas. Look at that. Closure of. Havana Casinos spurred exodus to the. desert. Wow. Frank Mir's father.

Especially people in the. >> who? >> Frank Mir's father. >> What do you mean Frank Mayer's father? >> Frank Mir's father was a casino. So. that's how he ended up in Vegas. >> Oh. Oh. His name is Miranda connected to. >> No. So Frank Mir's father was a casino. dealer in Cuba. >> Oh. >> When Cuba closed down, he went right to. Vegas. So a lot of those people went. right to Vegas. >> Wow. >> Really interesting [ __ ] that. >> that is interesting. It makes sense. because that those are the two places. And if you're on the east coast, the. trip to Cuba is easy. >> Was 30 minutes. It's.

>> like going to Florida. >> 30 minutes. It was what you and your. wife would do on the weekend. What do we. do? >> How far is the flight from New York City. to uh New [clears throat] York City to. Florida is what, an hour? >> Three. >> Three hours. >> Yeah. Because Trump is down there now. So they go a different way now. No. >> You [clears throat] can't go straight to. Fort Lauderdale or Miami. You got to go. outside that range if he's in. >> where he used to be. >> Two. >> Two be two hours. So New York City to Cuba is only an. extra half hour then. >> That's it. New York City. >> So like less than three hours.

>> Three hours you'll be on the island. >> So it's basically the same as Vegas. then. >> Yeah. >> It's the middle. >> The middle. >> But you have the you're on an island. It's a resort. >> Nobody knows what's going on. >> It's beautiful. >> You know I told you that my mother would. tell me how all those Hollywood stars. would hide in Cuba. Especially Rock. Hudson. >> They would go that's where they would. suck dick on the weekends. >> Oh, Rock Hudson. So all those Hollywood. people would go to Cuba, lock themselves. in. >> There was no TMZ. There was no press,

>> right? >> You know, these people in Cuba don't. have a new, you know, how they going to. get the P. >> and everything's run by the mob. It's. like just all sin and vice. >> Whenever you got a minute, you run, you. read that a van turn. That book, >> what is it called? >> It's a van turn. It's a revolution from. three different places. Union City, New. Jersey, New York City, and Miami. And how Oh, no, no, not my New York City. Tampa and. how those three cities. were like involved in that whole. >> what do you think is going to happen to.

Cuba if you had a guess? >> If I had to guess, come on. I'm already. seeing dollar signs. If you're a casino. right now with how bad casinos are doing. here, you're looking at that right. there. You're looking. >> Nocturn. >> How the mob own how the mob owned Cuna. Cuba and then lost it to the revolution. >> Yeah. Excellent book. Excellent. And so. that was Kennedy trying to get rid of. the mob. That's why they. >> when the mob put Listen, Kennedy's. father went to Chicago and he talked to.

those people. They had the pull. If you. live in Chicago or where else you win. the primary I don't know how it works, Joe. I'm not a political guy. >> Well, they definitely helped Kennedy get. into office. >> They helped Kevin get into office. >> But then when he got into office, >> he didn't help get Fidel back. Then the. brother double timed him and then they. started shooting. And I don't I don't. know who shot Kennedy's. I'm just saying. this. >> Well, the mob definitely didn't like. him. They were very upset. >> They cut into their pocket. >> and he helped the mob helped him get. into office in the first place, >> right? >> And then once he got in, they started.

prosecuting people and like, hey, >> then he [ __ ] him with the the Bay of. Pigs. >> when he pulled off air support at the. last. >> He didn't know that they were going to. do this and then when they told him. about it, he denied air support and air. support was critical to the success of. the mission. >> Absolutely. and uh Operation Mongoose, Robert Kennedy spearheaded his secret. government project to topple the Cuban. communist regime, working parallel to. the CIA's mob assisted efforts.

Um, but this is after the revolution, right? This was when Fidel was running. Cuba, >> right? >> Right. >> They were trying everything they do to. kill [ __ ] Fidel. They were doing. everything to. >> But this is after So what spurred the. Cuban takeover of of uh the the. military's taken over of Cuba? Mob. bosses like Sam Gianana and Sto. Trafocante were recruited to help. eliminate Castro using methods like. poison pills. Mafia wanted Castro gone. so they could reopen their multi-million.

dollar Cuban operations. Wow. >> That's all it was was money. >> Wow. >> Big money. Untraceable. >> I can imagine. >> Unfound. Untraceable. Nothing. Nothing. >> And you're over there living the life. >> Nobody knows nothing. Myansky eating. [ __ ] Cuban food every day. >> They probably had it all set up. It was. nice. And then the rest. >> kosher Cuban food every day. [ __ ] my. >> So the what what did the people think? The people think that these mob. [ __ ] they've taken over our. country. Let's let's let Castro come in.

and we'll be socialists and everything. will be great. >> Or did they just get taken over? >> They got taken. What happened was Castro. went in there, Batista was horrible. Batista was [ __ ] no better than. Castro. So when Castro took over, he was to take. over Batista and make Cuba blah blah. blah. But in the conglomeration, he. became a communist somewhere along the. line. And then when he took over Cuba, that's when he shut the casinos down. >> He destroyed the [ __ ] casinos, you.

know. And then [clears throat] the. Italians got mad. They all came back and. then they were just they thought it was. going to be temporary. like this is going to be temporary. We'll clean over this. So for years. Italians were just watching the news. waiting for somebody to kill [ __ ]. Castro. It was the Italians. >> And then when they thought that the. United States was going to go in there. and invade like, oh good, we're all set. >> I wish there was more film from those. days so people could see like my mother. explained things to me. I wish she was.

still alive because I could have like. she said the Italian food was different. in Cuba. She goes, "First of all, the. pizzas had lobster on them and shrimp. already back then in the ' 50s. >> Wow. >> They were making cuz she didn't like the. pizza in the United States." She goes, "Not the same. They put fresh shrimp. from the [ __ ] ocean, >> lobster, [ __ ] all these other things. They got these pies now in New York. I'm. scared to try them. I can't. They put. calamari on the pizza. How fat can you. get? [clears throat]. >> [laughter]. >> How [ __ ] fat do you want to be? You.

go to these pizza place in Jersey, dog. It's like ziti. A pound of ziti on a. slice of pizza. >> There's pizza places in Jersey that are. just going off. And the sandwich places. in Jersey. >> Oh, your boy your boy is going off. No. >> Oh, Giovani. But that's that's White. Plains Planes. That's phenomenal. >> I've been doing nothing like Italian. delies on the East Coast. There's. nothing like. >> that smell like that cheese when you. walk in and the [ __ ] olives and [ __ ]. Oh, it's insane. >> Unbelievable. Unbelievable. >> There's too much pizza. Like it just too.

much. >> You know, it's funny. When I moved down, like I'm scared to gain weight. The. pizza. I eat one slice a week. Maybe. Maybe. Since I had the knee surgery, I've been. doing the podcast at the house. So, I've. been ordering pizza from this one place. and my buddies go crazy. [snorts] That's. the best pizza we've ever had. It's. thin, sweet red sauce. >> Oh, yeah. >> Extra cheese. You burn it. It's [ __ ]. thin. Oh my god. And the sweet red. sauce. God, >> they know how to make pizza on the East.

Coast. And they try out here. They do a. pretty good job out here, but it's just. not the same. >> It's missing something. They don't. >> Same as the sandwiches. There's some. good Italian sandwiches out here. They're pretty good, but they can't [ __ ]. with like Giovani's place, >> bro. Giovani sent me two shipments that. were. >> He's the best. >> I had to give half of it away. I'm like, >> send you so much. >> [ __ ] salamis and [ __ ] dried. Oh, >> the cheese is incredible. Oh, and the. cookies is [ __ ] cookies to die for, bro. >> Yeah.

>> You know, and that's everywhere. Like I. just stopped. >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] around like. >> Well, when I go to the east coast, I. just assume terrible. >> I got to take you to this place. >> Which place? You took me to Elito. That. was phenomenal. >> Elito now is Kovo Steakhouse. Whatever. But. >> it's a steakhouse now. Yeah. >> Is it great? >> They [ __ ] me up a couple weeks ago. I. went in there five to nine. I've been. there three weeks in a row with big. party and then my wife wants and then a. friend wants. I go in there when they. have 5 to 9 like let me get a 14 ounce.

with a [ __ ] beer and they're like. we're closed. Ain't nobody in here. You can't make. another steak. No, we're closed. It's. not even 9. No reason to go back. >> That's a bummer. >> You just I was. >> That's people want to go home. >> Yeah. I don't give a [ __ ] It's a steak. You guys are There's nobody in here. All. right. >> The bar is cute in there. >> Nobody's ever in there. They got a male. bartender. They got a blonde with big. tits. You see this place? [laughter]. Pack the [ __ ] up. You got a little. Spanish guy that's a great guy.

But but I go to this place now. They had. on the special three weeks ago. You. ready? Stuffed shells with lobster meat. >> Out of the cart inside. And he gives you. five of them in a tray. Oh, show. >> What's this place called? Asteria. >> Where's it at? >> Mar, bro. [snorts]. >> This is my spot. >> Yeah. >> I go there because the dude will do. whatever I ask him to do. Like he'll he. has a menu, but then he'll go, "Joe,

have you tasted my Italian fried rice?". You're like, "What are you talking about. Italian fried rice?" And he makes risoto. with lobster and shrimp or fried rice. So, he's going to add it. He's got a new. restaurant opening. So, he lets me. sample everything. He makes a cheese. steak to die for with the bread with the. seeds on it. >> Oh yeah, >> the simolina bread. >> Yeah. [sighs]. >> Oh my god. >> Asteria. There it is. Oh, that looks. good. Yeah. There's nothing like East.

Coast Italian food. Nothing even. compares. >> No. Steve and Angelo in there, bro. They. don't [ __ ] around. >> All right, let's wrap this [ __ ] up, >> bro. Thank you for having me. >> My pleasure. I love you. Thursday. I've. been around all week. All right. All. right. >> But I'm in Atlantic City 7th and 8th at. Oceans Casino. White People Casino. >> July 7th and 8th. >> No, August. >> August 7th and 8th. Okay. >> Chicago got announced November 5th. >> Uh what's the website for people to go. to find out details? >> I got no [ __ ]. >> You don't know the website? >> Joey Diaz.com or net.

>> Is that real? >> I don't know anymore. [laughter]. >> All right. Well, they'll find you. They'll find you. So, one more time, where's the casino? >> Uh Oceans Casino in Atlantic City, New. Jersey. The seventh and eth. Tremendous. >> Beautiful. All right. >> I think the the governor's coming. >> The governor. >> Yeah. Mikey Cheryl. I don't even like. her, but I do like Mikey Cheryl. [laughter]. I do like Mikey Cheryl cuz she's a. Democrat. You're not supposed to like. him. But it was funny. I went to a. restaurant. Some guys like, "Hey, man. Life would have been so much better with. Jack Chidarelli." I go, I know, but he. lost by 400,000 [ __ ] votes. He tried.

to a Republican in Jersey. That's never. going to [ __ ] work. They've been. Democrats since Jesus showed up. So. 400,000 votes, bro. That's a lot. >> I'd be in my house with the windows. [ __ ] like Sunny Black and Donnie. Brasco with the windows the shades drawn. for a year. 400,000 [ __ ]. >> See that podcast I did with Joe Pone? >> Yes. Very good. He was very good on it. >> He was amazing. >> He's a good dude, too. He's a good white. [ __ ] savage. >> What a crazy life. The real Donnie Bras. I mean, he really [ __ ] lived like.

that. >> And he infiltrated the bananas. >> Yeah. Deep. >> They never recovered from them. >> They even loved him after he [ __ ]. came out and they found out he was a. cop. They're like, "Oh, you were better. than me." That's like one of the guys. said that to him. Hey, you you won. You. beat me. Wow. Nuts. >> All right. >> I love you, brother. >> Thank you very much, man. >> We're going to have fun tonight. All. right. Bye, everybody.