Joe Rogan Experience #2507 - Harland Williams

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. >> The Joe Rogan Experience. >> TRAIN BY DAY. JOE ROGAN PODCAST BY. NIGHT. All day. >> Dimmitri was here when Donald Trump was. here. >> Wow. That made my day. >> It was important. Doesn't matter what's. odd. >> It doesn't. >> No. >> There we go. >> Um. >> Wow. These are nice. >> Dimmitri the snake. >> Yeah. Tapeworm. >> There he is. Oh, that's right. >> Tapeworm. Yeah. What's going on with.

your face? What are you doing? >> This is a tight one for me today, guy. [laughter]. What? I'm feeling ripe. >> What is that? >> It's a It says Betty. >> Billy. >> Billy. Oh, B I. >> L L Y. >> Oh, okay. >> It's a uh. it's a memorial tattoo. I don't know if you knew this or not, but uh.

my uh. my kid got hit by a truck. >> When did you have a kid? >> About two years ago. I haven't told. anyone. I was ashamed. It was a one night stand. Kid, >> is it a human kid? Yeah, [laughter].

>> Billy. >> Did he get hit by a truck? >> Got hit by a truck. >> Was he just walking? >> Well, someone and I won't say who, left. the gate open and uh he wandered out. into the street and uh boom, like hit by a 18-wheeler. And uh this is like a memorial. So, you. got Billy tattooed on your forehead? >> I have two tattoos. I got Billy on my. forehead and I got a tattoo of his.

little face over my heart. >> Let me see it. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> God. >> First of all, what happened to the one. when you were attacked by the bear. >> that healed up? [laughter]. This is Billy. >> Billy Goat. >> He's a kid. >> Billy the kid. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Poor little guy. >> Poor little guy. >> He was a service animal. >> I thought he was your son. >> Well, he was my boy. He was a kid.

>> But you said he got him out of a one. night stand. >> Well, that girl sold him to me. He was a. service animal. [sighs]. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. It sucks, dude. And you know what sucks? He was hit by a truck that was hauling. medical supplies. Okay. >> How ironic, >> right? He's laying there. And to watch. your kid bleet to death. He's just laying on the pavement like.

just bleeding to death. >> Amazing. He was still alive. >> Well, he I couldn't believe it. He was. alive and and a respirator rolled out of. the back of the truck, a life-saving. device, and crushed his stupid his. crushed his head. So he was killed not. by the truck but by the final blow of. the respirator landing on him, >> right? So the irony, >> what are the odds? >> Well, this is the irony in life, Joe. Like he he got hit by the truck, might. have survived a respirator rolled out of.

the back. These things weigh a good half. ton. >> Lands on the idi on the kid's face and. uh gone. >> Poor Billy. >> So memorial tattoos. >> Well, you're a good guy. That was a good. >> I would have ate them. >> Is that right? >> Yeah. >> How does goat taste? I haven't had it. >> It's pretty good. Yeah, I've had it. >> You have? >> Sure. First time I ever had it was in LA. at a Mexican spot. They sell they were. selling goat tacos. They were delicious.

>> Oh my god. >> Yeah. And then I had a neighbor, well. not a neighbor, who's a landscaper that. was a friend of mine that would uh he. would fight chickens. They do chicken. fights. >> [ __ ] fights. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I've had those. >> Trying to be polite. Clean it up for the. viewers. >> Wow. Chicken chicken fights. >> [ __ ] is kind of the technical name. >> Seems wrong. >> Yeah. >> When you're saying it. >> Have you ever. >> I don't like how you're saying it. But. anyway, they would roast a goat. He told. me uh whenever they would do a co [ __ ].

fight better. Feel better. >> Well, it's not for me. It's for. >> for the culture. >> For the Yeah. I mean, it is what it is. A pit fight. A pit bull fight. >> Actually, I wonder how you say it in. Spanish cuz Elco. >> So anyway, he lived in this. neighborhood. You would swear to God. that it was Mexico. It was crazy. Like. every sign was in Spanish. All the. people were in Spanish. There was. roosters everywhere. You just on his. street you hear. like all day long. It was like it was. crazy. And so he had this friend of. mine, friend of his rather, uh he went. to his we went to the backyard and in.

the backyard there's just stacks and. stacks of rooster cages. They had so. many roosters. And they had these prize. roosters and they had a whole pit. So. they had a thing. It was almost like a. barn looking area. And you go in there. and there's a pit, >> a cockpit. >> And then that that's where they would. fight. And he he was showing me where. they would roast a goat. He said every. time they would have a a [ __ ] fight, they'd roast a goat and everybody have. beers. And. >> well, if you're going to have a [ __ ]. fight, you might as well roast a goat. >> That's what I said. >> But if I had a cockpit in my backyard,

I'd get like a Delta pilot and an. American Airlines pilot and toss them in. >> and let them fight it out. >> Let them fight it out in the cockpit. >> Who do you think would win? probably. Delta because they have. >> the DEI program. >> Do they? >> Yeah. >> Or in this case, they do the DI. >> the DIE program cuz someone ain't coming. out alive. >> Well, I think we need pilots. So maybe. you should do it with someone that's. like over represented in the. marketplace. Like what what would be.

like we could get rid of some of those. folks. >> who we could single out? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Would be like we've. had enough. There's too many of you. guys. >> Yeah. Politicians. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Oh, yeah. Homeless advocates. I'd love. to see politicians get in a pit and. fight, >> right? >> Yeah. >> Two men enter, one man leave. I mean, that had to how it went down a long time. ago. >> Yeah. >> A long time ago. >> Oh, you're talking like cavemen years. >> Yeah. Tribal days.

>> Tribal day. Yeah. >> Yeah. They probably had a fight. >> Yeah. >> My opponent's a piece of [ __ ] He wants. to steal all the coconuts. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Well, I think I think back then. the hierarchy worked based on physical. dominance, intimidation. >> Mhm. >> Like you'd be a good leader. You got you. got you're jacked. >> Yeah. I'm not a good leader though. because I'd be like, you got to do what. you want to do. I'm not really. interested in running this place. I got. to get out of here. >> Yeah. Yeah. Because once you decide. you're running it, you're stuck with. everything. >> Yeah. And all the problems are your.

problems. >> Wow. >> And everyone wants to kill you. Like who. the [ __ ] would want to be president? This is why voting for president is a. real problem. >> Yeah. >> Like in 2028 it was like who's going to. win in 2028? Who's going to win? Who's. going to run? Who wants that [ __ ]. job? What normal healthy person wants. that job where at least half the country. is going to [ __ ] hate you. And the. people that you got in that got you in. like they're not going to be happy cuz.

you're never going to be able to do what. you're saying you want to do. It's not. even possible. What' you just put up, Jeremy? >> Uh, I was going to say, do you think. they could start dueling again like they. did in the 178? They used to duel. Yeah. >> Many periods of history, according to. Perplexity, our AR sponsor, politicians. fought literally with fists, canes, swords, and pistols, and some famous. ones were killed or badly injured in. these clashes. 1700s, 1800s, dueling was. a common way for gentlemen and. politicians to defend their honor in. Europe and the United States. That would.

be sick if congressmen, you know, if. like on they start screaming and yelling. at each other like they always do. Yeah. >> I challenge you to a duel and everyone's. like, "Oh, let's [ __ ] die.". >> They go out on the White House lawn. >> Andrew Jackson killed Charles Dickinson. >> Yeah. >> The author. >> and was wounded himself. >> That's not the author, is it? >> No, no, no, no, no. I mean, >> that's Dickens. That's Dickens. >> Oh, okay. [laughter]. I mean, that's a bad review for a book. when you go,

>> you piece of [ __ ]. >> I didn't like Tom Sawyer. Boom. >> Did Dickens write Tom Sawyer. >> or Huck Finn? >> No, no, no. That was um. >> Sammy Clemens. Mark Twain. Sammy. >> Twain. >> Yeah. >> What the hell did Dickens write? >> Oh, I don't remember. >> The uh the Christmas one. >> Christmas one. The Grinch. >> Which one did he write? Grinch that stole. >> Oliver Twist. Christmas Carol is the one. I was trying to think of. David. Copperfield, Great Expectations.

>> Oh, he wrote that? >> Yeah, Christmas Carol is one I was. thinking of. >> Okay. He wrote some great stuff. What. year was um Put that thing up again. about the DS. >> because uh so Jackson killed someone. >> 1806. >> In 1806. When was he president? >> Later. It says later. >> Wow. >> Yeah. So he shot someone and then became. president. He was a murderer and he. became president. >> Vice president did it in 1804. >> Whoa. >> JD Van's going out and shooting the.

Treasury Secretary right now. >> What? This is crazy. They had a pistol. duel with the Treasury Secretary. [laughter]. >> Hamilton was mortally wounded and died. the next day. >> That' be crazy to see right now. >> Wow. Wow. >> The UFC fights at the White House. Maybe. they could do that. >> It ended this guy Burr's political. career. Scroll back up again. And Aaron. Burr. So was the vice president, Aaron. Burr, shot the [ __ ] Treasury. Secretary. That's crazy. Former Treasury Secretary and killed him.

and then it ended his career. >> Even in 1804, they were like, "That's. outrageous." But isn't that crazy? That. was just the 1800s. >> Yeah. >> 200 years ago, they were shooting each. other. >> And America's all about guns. So why. aren't we just doing that now? It would. end a lot of like really shitty. conversations. Yeah. Because a lot of. people they talk in a way they say. horrible mean things because they know. there's no repercussions. >> Yeah. >> If if they could just challenge you to a. fist fight on the Senate floor. >> Look at. >> that was a thing.

>> Yeah. >> Would change a lot. >> 1856. Representative Preston Brooks of South. Carolina entered the US Senate Chamber. and brutally beat Senator Charles Summer. of Massachusetts with a cane after. Summer gave an anti-slavery speech that. insulted Brook's cousin. Summer was left unconscious and badly. injured. >> Whoa. Whoa. Because he gave an antislavery. speech. Imagine. Why'd you hit him? The. guy's against slavery. Oh.

>> yeah. Yeah. >> Did you use a weapon at least? Yeah. He's a cane. He's against slavery. >> What the hell are you going to do? Just. let him be against slavery? >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> He insulted my cousin, a slave owner. >> Wow. >> Well, you know, America's like kind of. built on gun culture, so it sort of. seems to fit, you know. >> Also, combat like Thank you. It's just a. little bit more. It's like violence. There's going to be a UFC on the White. House lawn. >> Yeah, that seems like a good safe place. to be, huh? Everyone's going to know.

where all the world leaders are going to. be. We're all going to be stuck sitting. in that spot for six hours calling. fights. >> You're going to be there, right? >> Super safe. I feel completely safe. >> You're going to be there, right? >> Yeah. Oh, I'm going to be there. >> Do you do you like the concept of it or. No, >> I do not like it. >> How come, guy? >> Because it's outside and I think world. championship fights should be in a. controlled environment because out of. respect for the athletes and how. difficult it is to compete. professionally in a world title. However, >> I should say, however,

>> it's going to be a spectacle. Whether I. was there or not, I would be watching. 100%. >> It's uh I think it's awesome that Trump, this is one of the things that I like. about him. He's like, "Fuck it. Let's do. it.". >> He puts on cage fights on the White. House lawn. That's nuts. >> He's fearless. >> But he does wild [ __ ] I like that. I. like that part. I don't like the Iran. war thing, but I like that. You don't. like the concept that uh Iran can no. longer have nuclear weapons. >> I think that's better than a UFC fight.

>> That is a good concept. However, I don't. necessarily know there's a clear way to. get out of this. And if you know what we. did in Afghanistan for 20 years and how. much American taxpayer dollars were. spent and how many people lost their. lives, >> but in Afghanistan, it felt like they. were just sweeping out like goat farmers. and guys hiding in caves. Whereas here. there's a directive where they're. preventing a rebel country from having a. bomb that could annihilate portions of.

our planet. So I think that's a much. clearer and more positive agenda than. wiping out guys living in the hills of. Afghanistan creating opium. >> That's true if it made sense. The. problem is uh I had Scott Horton on the. podcast explaining what is actually. involved in making depleted uranium and. making it weapons grade and what would. have to be done in order to get it to a. bomb level. >> It's very difficult. It's it's not as.

simple and they weren't nearly capable. of doing that. Not nearly, but pursuing. >> It's a good question because they were. being he was also saying they were being. inspected on a regular basis. And. essentially, this is Israel wanting us. to go to this war. Israel wants Well, and makes sense. If I was Israel, if we. were America and Mexico had nukes. pointed at us or whatever. It's not. nukes, but you know what I'm saying? Like, if they did, if they were trying. to build a nuke, if Mexico and America. were constantly in conflict and Mexico.

was trying to build a nuclear bomb, That would be a good reason where I. America would want to go [ __ ] up Mexico. Like, hey, you can't have a nuclear. bomb. This is Israel's position, right? Israel's right there with Iran. They're. close enough. They're throwing missiles. at each other. >> I get why they would want it. I just. don't know if it's a good thing for. America. And I don't know if there's a. way out of it. >> Well, I think what we have to look at is. the bigger scope. If not America. cleaning it up, who does it? Who has the. power and the wherewithal to do it? You.

know, we've used like twothirds of our. missiles doing it. >> Yeah. But it leaves us vulnerable if. there's any other kind of a conflict. We're like under armed right now. >> I don't think we're ever underarmmed. when we have our Triton submarine force. lurking in the oceans 24/7 and nobody. knows they're there. Even members of. American military. >> What do you know? How do you know this? >> Oh, I know things, guy. >> Did Billy tell you this? >> Billy. Billy's dead. [laughter]. >> Wait a minute. Do you know something. about these Triton submarines for sure?

What do you know? >> Well, they're they're they're. circumnavigating our oceans 24/7. >> How many are there? >> I think there's a fleet of 12 to 24. I. think it's closer to 12. But these. things can stay underwater for up to a. year. And most members of our American. government don't even know they're. there. They don't know where they are. >> How much underwater jerking off is going. on right now? >> Well, think about it. One Triton. submarine. Trident submarine. >> has how many guys on it?

>> I don't know how many guys, but it has. something like 24 nuclear warheads and. each warhead has 24 that break off. So, one of these submarines could take out. half the world and we've got them going. all the time. So, whenever you're afraid. of any little hot spot in the world, just remember that we have this going on. in the ocean. A lot of people don't know. about it. >> I like you say this we [ __ ] when you're. Canadian. >> Yeah. >> Interesting. Yeah, when the [ __ ] hits. the fan, Canadians like to pretend. they're Americans. I don't like it.

>> I'm just not worried. Like, I'm not. worried about America ever being. vulnerable. It's It's an area. It's It's. a nautical force that you don't really. hear about, but if you were to look it. up, there's this there's this force out. there that could take out the world. >> Well, Jamie just looked it up. US Navy submarine force today consists. of about 53 of fast track of fast attack. submarines, 14 ballistic missile. submarines and four guided missile. submarines all nuclearpowered. That.

yields a total of roughly 70 to 71. nuclear submarines in the force making. it the world's largest nuclear submarine. fre fleet. Why currently in the oceans. is classified except for people who talk. to Harlon. >> Exactly. Harland knows the exact number. of US nuclear submarines at sea at any. moment and their locations are. classified for operational security. The. Navy does not release real-time. deployment figures. Public discussion. instead uses overall force and general.

deployment concepts like continuous SSBN. deterrent patrols rather than daybyday. counts. >> Mhm. >> Okay, that makes me feel a little. better. >> Well, you need not worry. And that's you. didn't even tap into the trident. The. trident are the nuclear ones that run. silent. So you can't ping them. >> You can't go. >> You can't That's That's pinging. That's. sonar. >> What do you mean you can't use sonar to. fight? >> You can't ping them. They're nuclear. They're silent. They're silent predators.

in the ocean. >> Really? >> They're huge. And I told you one one. nuclear warhead splits off into 16 or. 24. So, one of these one of these damn. Trident submarines could put anyone in. its place at any time. So, don't you. worry about our missiles being depleted. Mr. Joe Zachary Rogan. [laughter]. >> Zachary. How do they get a new nick? >> I don't know. If I know about. submarines, I know about your middle. name. [laughter]. >> Okay, I'm going have to change my.

license. In current open sources, Trident submarines usually means US Navy. Ohio class ballistic missile submarines. that carry Trident 2 D5 nuclear. missiles. And there are 14 of these. boats. >> There you go. And so these boats are. just floating around ready to [ __ ]. people up. So do you think it was a good. idea to go into Iran, start bombing? >> I think whoever's the bad player, I. think it's a good idea. If it was North. Korea, Iran, Israel, Canada, Mexico, >> anybody [ __ ].

>> whoever is causing [ __ ] in the world, we. don't have time for you. Let's get on. Let's get in line. Let's all work. together or you get a timeout. You We. don't We don't have time for this. anymore. We're a society of. sophisticated human beings. We got to. move forward. There I am. Sonar guy. >> Look at you, dude. That's That's me on a. trident. That's what you do in your. spare time. >> Yeah, I ride around the world protecting. things. >> They dye your hair before you go into. there? [laughter].

>> Triggered an old memory when he started. doing that, >> right? >> What movie was that in? >> Down Periscope. >> Down. >> Wow. Look at you, dog. >> Yeah, but this is real, guys. So, I'm. just saying to you, don't ever fret. >> Okay. >> There's no one on earth that can. threaten America. >> How did 9/11 happen then? >> Well, that that was landbased. That was. terrestrial and that was simple planning. and box cutting and hijacking. >> But we're talking about global warfare,

nuclear war. Let's say Moscow launched. and hit seven of our cities tomorrow. Well, guess what? Moscow. Debbie 7 or8 China submarine waiting. just offshore for you. >> [laughter]. >> This episode is brought to you by Amazon. MGM Studios new movie, Masters of the. Universe, only in theaters June 5th. You. all remember He-Man, right? You gota. huge 80s icon, The Sword of Power,

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only in theaters June 5th. Don't miss. it. Get tickets now at mastersofthe. universe. >> Right. But there's no one left here to. celebrate cuz we're all dead. >> It doesn't matter. America doesn't lose. is what I'm trying to tell you, my guy. >> Oh, we still win when everyone's dead. >> Yeah. Still win. The guys floating. around in the Indian Ocean and the. Atlantic and the North Sea. >> So those will be the new civilization. >> America wins even when they lose, my. guy. Maybe that's why the aliens are.

under the water. Maybe they're the ones. that survived. >> You believe that? >> The apocalypse. >> Yeah, I don't know about the aliens. under the water. >> Tim Burett was on this podcast. >> Well, what does he know? >> He said that there are three. Did he say. three bases or five? >> I don't remember. >> When your last name's [ __ ]. >> No, no, no. It's Bett. It's my. >> He's a very honest man. >> So, what did he say? >> He said that there's these three. location. I think it's three. See if. three or five. I can't remember which. one. >> Hang on, let me tell you. [laughter].

>> Five. >> So, you said there's these spots under. the o where regularly they have these. events where things come out of the. ocean. >> When you say things, are we talking. giant squid? Are we talking. extraterrestrial? >> They're talking crafts that move in a. way that we can't right now. 500 miles. an hour under the water. They're. transmedium, meaning they can go above. the ground and in the water with no, it. doesn't seem like it's causing them any. resistance. Yeah. >> Bashett said there are five underwater.

bases, and in some reports it's f it's. phrased as five or six. What. >> the clearest reporting says he pointed. to five areas in the US waters where. such bases could be. So they there's a. bunch of areas in the ocean and if you. think like you were going to hide. something, >> that's where you would hide it. We can't. we don't go in the ocean that much, right? On land. We go in the ocean, but. we don't know the ocean. It hasn't been. mapped. I think we've only mapped less. than 10% of the ocean floor. >> We know more about the surface of the. moon than we knew know about the bottom.

of the ocean. Correct. >> And so when they're if they if they were. here, that would be the place to hide. Just go to the deepest parts of the. ocean where no one can go. >> Yeah. >> And you build bases. >> cuz if they can travel here from another. planet. >> Yeah. >> James Cameron went to the bottom of the. Mariana Trench. We watched a video of it. the other day. >> Fascinating. So he did that in 2012. If. he can do that, for sure something that. can come here from another planet can. also go down there and most likely set. up a base. >> I'm skeptical. I don't I'm not denying.

it, but I'm I'm thinking if you're an. extraterrestrial. and you're coming to a planet like ours, what what's the upside of. >> going deep down into a trench that's I. think it's what, three, four, five miles. deep? The areoli trench. >> Areoli. >> What's it called? >> Huh? [laughter]. >> Areola's the thing around. >> your tits. >> Did you catch this yesterday? Probably. Maybe not. The new Disclosure Day. trailer.

>> I did. >> So Steven Spielberg's in it. >> Yeah. He's saying, >> first of all, bro, cut your nails. You're freaking me out. Scratch. You. scratch. >> He's a nose picker. Some people keep. them long to get boogers. >> Spielberg probably likes to pull out a. crank out a greeny. Boy, >> picture Spielberg laying in bed at night. just cranking out a greeny and eating. it. >> So he said that he believes that we are. being visited much. I don't think he. does that. He's a respectful. >> Look at those nails. Those are booger.

picking nails. >> He's just too busy to trim his nails. >> I don't know. He probably could have. someone trim those dirty booger nails. >> You think that's what they are? >> He looks like an eye eye almost. >> What if he had like one long coke nail? What if he had like one long pink nail? >> Like an eye eye? Like a [ __ ] coke. nail, bro. >> You ever seen an eye? >> It's like those [snorts] dudes, they. grow the pinky nail long to let. everybody know they do coke. >> Pull up an eye, Jamie. >> What does that mean? >> You'll see in a second. Dr. Coke nail. >> Jesus. >> A e a y.

>> Maybe it's that ink from the tattoo. That. >> Now show them the middle finger of the. eye. >> Whoa. Look at that hook. So, they have. an elongated middle digit that they. stick deep down into coconuts and. melons. And uh that's a Spielberg hook right. there. [laughter]. >> That is what the fingers look like. Look. at that. That's Spielberg at night. laying in his water bed picking. greenies. >> I don't think he does that.

>> I think he does. There's one in his. beard right there. >> I feel bad that I brought it up. >> Look, there's the hand. There's the eye. Oh, >> I I H. >> And isn't it interesting, Joe, if we go. full circle, if you're down in a Trident. submarine and the captain says, "Press. X572 and obliterate Iran right now." The. operator would go, "I I sir.". [snorts]. >> I don't think they say that. I think. they say Roger. >> Well, the guy's name is Roger.

>> Why do they say Roger? >> Huh? >> I wonder why they say that name. Like. it's not Mike. >> Roger was based off of the Jolly Roger, the flag, the skull and crossbone. So. the nautical term Roger came from that. Jolly Roger. >> Yeah, but the military uses that too. Roger that, >> right? But they adopted it from the uh. the Navy. >> Let's find out if that's true. >> Yeah, I was going to find what what is. Roger the term Roger that. Where's that. come from? >> As I'm looking that up, do you know why. pirates wear an eye patch?

>> Cuz they cut their [ __ ] eye off. >> No. Oh, so they could uh see better at. distance. >> at night under the under the ship. because it's dark, >> right? Yeah. It's uh for. when you know light when you get. accustomed to darkness. >> the more But why does why does having. one eye closed? So, do they put the patch over the other. eye when they go under at night? >> Yes, you switch. >> Whoa. >> They switch eyes. >> So, they they never have to get adjusted.

to the dark. Well, that's crazy. Yes. So, Roger has to do with Morse code. according to. >> that is actually kind of amazing. What a. smart move. You put one patch over your. eye during the daytime and one patch at. night and you can always see. >> Y. >> originally stood for the letter R which. is used as shorthand for received in. Morse code. Yeah. >> In an early radio. So saying Roger means. I received your message. >> Oh. Oh, interesting. And it also hankers. back to the skull and crossbones. The.

Jolly Roger, if you pull that up, >> I don't think it does. >> Yeah, it is. It's a derivative of the uh. cranial area of the uh the tib the tibia. cross the cranial. >> Jamie doesn't believe you. >> The hell's going on? >> When Jamie laughs, I know something's. up. >> What is uh Jolly Roger? No, the Roger. and radio talk and the Roger and Jolly. Roger come from different traditions and. are not historically connected. Do you. think this is maybe top secret. information that you know and maybe you.

just made a mistake by telling the whole. world? >> Can I answer it with uh. [laughter]. you've just been sonar player. So. imagine [clears throat]. if there was a super sophisticated uh. intelligent civilization that existed. way before ours like 30,000 years ago. and then they had developed underwater. travel, space travel, all that jazz. Then the apocalypse comes and the only. ones that survive are the Trident.

submarine guys that are in the ocean, >> right? >> Maybe that's why all these bases are in. the ocean. Maybe they are the the last. remaining survivors of a super advanced. civilization. >> that existed thousands and thousands of. years before like Mesopotamia. >> But my point to you, Joe, good point. Valid. Valid. >> Think about it for Daddy's going to. play. I'm not even refuting it, but I'm. going to. >> roll it around the old Canadian. roll it. around and I'm going to come back at you. with an argument that if I'm an.

intelligent life force and I've got this. sphere with oceans and land, why do I. want to make life harder for myself? Do. you know the pressure that you're at 3. miles down in the ocean? The amount of. pressure that come look what happened to. that little that little submarine that. popped about three years ago, >> right? So why do you want to live in an. environment where you have so much. pressure when you could simply land on. the terrestrial plane and live. pressurefree? Because if they are.

insanely advanced, one of the things. that's proposed is that they have some. sort of a gravity bubble and this is how. they move through space and this is how. they don't use propulsion that they. essentially us through space. >> Exactly. That's why these crafts act as. transmedium crafts. When these crafts. are flying and they go into the ocean, the the ocean rather, there's virtually. no splash. >> And they're moving 500 miles. >> Frictionless. >> Exactly. They're not they're not. existing in the same spaceime as we are.

They have a bubble and this bubble. completely distorts everything around. them. [snorts] So you're saying if they. descended into the depths of our ocean, they wouldn't experience the pressure. because the bubble. >> Exactly. >> is forcing off the pressure. Exactly. >> Interesting. >> But still, okay. >> What is your purpose for going. underwater when you could just land on. the surface of the Earth? [clears throat]. >> Maybe they're observing us and making. sure that we don't [ __ ] things up. >> But how can they observe us if they're 3.

miles underwater? Well, they come out of. the water, Harland. That's the whole. reason why they know they're there, cuz. they keep experiencing these crafts that. are rising out of the water in these. very specific locations. >> Yeah. >> You seem like a disinformation agent. from the government or something. >> I am. I am. >> It seems like it. >> I am. >> You should work out on being a little. more stealthy. >> What do you mean? >> Because it's very obvious to me that. you're what the kids call controlled. opposition. >> Well, that could be me. counterintuitively. pre-programming you to think sideways.

What would be the benefit of that? I'm. not experiencing these ways of. espionage. >> What's the benefit of living a mile down. in the ocean in the Areoli Rift? >> I think this the [clears throat] whole. reason they're in the ocean is because. that's where we won't find them. Like if. you wanted to watch like a civilization, if we went to another planet, okay, let's say this, we let's say we go to. another planet and we find people that. are living like cave people. They're. killing each other with spears. They're,

you know, robbing and raiding villages. If we wanted to just observe and we had. the ability to observe from the sky. motionless with no sound at all and just. watch them, don't you think we would do. that? >> Yeah. >> We wouldn't interfere. We would want to. know as much about them as we could. >> Right. >> Every now and then when one of them was. going to get watered, we [ __ ] dart. them with a tranquilizer dart, check. their DNA, take some jizz, and then. leave them there just like they do to. us. We would do the exact same stuff if. we could do it. If we were just a little.

more advanced than we are now. So not, you know, millions of years in advance, which we think maybe possibly some. civilizations are, but maybe a hundred. years or a thousand years. >> And we found a planet and that planet. had cave people on it. >> 100% we would do most of the things that. these aliens are doing. >> If we had a way where we could dart them. and tranquilize them and they'd have no. idea that we did it and they would just. wake up in the jungle confused, we would. do it. If we did medical tests on them,

if we could take them, [clears throat]. bring her to a secure medical facility. that we had, maybe in a helicopter or. some sort of a spaceship that we've. created, and we run some tests on them, take some sperm, take some skin samples, do a [ __ ] cat scan on them, whatever, and then put them back in the jungle. We. would do it 100%. >> This isn't Mutual of Omaha's Wild. Kingdom. We're not W the Beast. We're. not seals. Like, clearly they share some. of the intelligence we have. They're. masters of aeronautics. We've mastered.

aeronautics in our physical plane. So. what's with all the mystery? Like if. they can communicate and they can talk. and they can build. >> as we can. It's not like. >> No, we're too primitive. >> Why don't they just How do you know. that? >> Because if something. >> Why don't they just go, "Hey, let's go. Let's go chat to the idiots.". >> No. >> If we're that dumb. At least we can. communicate. >> I think you have. >> our fighter jets fly with their fight. Our fighter jets track them. We lock on. to them. >> No, they're not. >> So, we're sharing aeronautical.

intelligence. >> No, no, no. They're not sharing. They're. trying to find them and then they dart. away and move in ways that we can't. explain. >> But we see them. We track them. We share. the same airspace. We're both flying. I. don't know why I'm getting so fired up. [laughter]. >> Yeah. But still, dude, if we went to. another planet and found. Australiathecus, we found an early. human, you know, one of the early. primates, >> okay? >> 100% we would dart it.

>> 100% we would tranquilize it. We would. run tests on it. We would want to know. about it 100%. >> Okay? You're talking about a. Neanderthal, >> right? That's what we are to them. If. they're the little grays with the big. heads and they communicate. telepathically and they could fly here. instantaneously from other solar. systems, we might as well be the ape. people. >> But why the evasion? Like if you saw. Homopicus or whatever it's called, >> Australia. >> holding up a cell phone, would you still. go, let's dart it and probe it and let.

it go? I want you just go, "Hey, that. that monkeyy's got a cell phone. Let's. go talk to it. We can talk. We have cell. phones." Like why the why the mysterious. distance? Like if they're in the ocean. and they know we're intelligent beings, why not just come up and say, "Hey, anyone want to go snorkeling?". >> I think Australiathecus with a spear is. about as intelligent to us as we are to. them. But if they have an evolved.

language and they have communities and a. civilization, isn't that enough for us. to just walk into camp and go, "Hey. guys, I mean, they did it with with tri. with uh, you know, uh, tribes that live in the Amazon. Who's that guy? Who's the guy they. boiled in the pot?" That famous saying. uh, what's that famous? Oh, I can't. think of it right now. Uh, but anyways, we we wandered into into the Amazon and. walked right up to like weird Amazon.

tribal people. It's not like we hid and. tried to hide from them. >> Yeah. But they didn't know those people. were even there. >> But when they found them, they. integrated. They approached them. They. go, "Hey, this is a t-shirt. This is a. camera.". >> Those are human beings that are the. exact same kind of human beings as the. people that were visiting them. They're. not different species. Still, >> no. >> So, if you Joe Rogan were out in a field. one day. >> Uhhuh. >> and you saw a new species of like people.

jumping around having a picnic, sharing. a salami, >> would you would you just hide behind a. log and watch them or would you would. you go, "Hey, uh, who are you? What are. you?". >> Well, you're not even allowed to contact. unconted people. >> Say that again. You're not allowed to. contact like North Sentinel Island, that. island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. where that uh preacher went and got. killed because he was trying to bring. them Bibles,

>> right? >> You're not allowed to contact unconted. tribes. >> Uh is that like all of them? >> Most of them. >> I don't think so. >> Indian Ocean, they they they have that. North Sentinel Island protected. And you. know, there's people that discourage. people from contacting people in the. Amazon. There's several unconted tribes. in the Amazon. I wish they'd stay that. way. Yeah. >> Stay unconted. >> Well, I don't want to see a beautiful. like Pygmy or someone from an Amazonian. tribe wearing an Adidas shirt.

>> Why not? >> Or a Hooters shirt. >> Hooters would be funny. >> No, >> that'd be funny. >> I want to see them wearing like cuckook. feathers and uh you know, hookah pick. bones. Leave them alone. >> Spear fishing with a BE hat on. >> Joe, come on guy. No. [laughter]. No. See, that's. >> why not. >> Well, then that's why the aliens under. the ocean are staying away from us. They. don't want to be corrupted by our. ridiculous society of Hooters and. Cracker Barrels. >> Okay. If you were in the Amazon,

wouldn't you want a t-shirt? >> If I was if you were walking through the. Amazon, you Harlon Williams. Yeah. >> The third right now alive in 2026. If. you were in the Amazon and I said, "Would you like to wear a t-shirt while. you're walking through the Amazon?". Yeah. >> What would you say. >> as a white North American male? >> I'd say definitely. >> And they want one, too. It's better than. no t-shirt. >> No, it's not. >> There's a tribe of five people and one. of them has a shirt. >> One of them's got a tight shirt. I hate. that.

>> Look, he's got flip flops. That guy on. the right is ball. That is the baller of. the [ __ ] neighborhood. That's the guy. that pulls up in the 65 Chevel and. everybody's like, "Look at him with his. flipflops.". >> I think that's that guy who wrote. Margaritavville. What was his name? [laughter]. >> Jimmy Buffett. >> That's Jimmy Buffett for God's sake. Mike read about. >> what's it called? Isn't [laughter] that him? >> I think that's him. >> Where's him? >> Get away again. >> Well, we get dinged on YouTube for that.

Jamie, >> it's very You guys are getting way too. close. Yeah, >> you know, you get dinged like. >> Oh, you can't sing. >> They take away your [ __ ] advertising. revenue if you hum a song. >> Okay, >> the these dirty criminals. >> Wow. >> Hum a song. You dirty scumbags trying to. steal advertising money. >> What if we mess with them and hum a tune. and sort of play name that tune with. them? And if they'll do, they'll [ __ ]. ding you. >> Even if they can't figure it out, like. they've got to sit around the office. >> They'll pretend. Then you have to go to.

court. >> Name that tune in seven notes. And I'm. like, >> don't do it. Don't do it. >> Do you know what I just did? >> You [ __ ] us up. That's You know what. song that was? >> I don't care. >> I do. >> What is it? It was uh that Pink Floyd uh. song. >> No, no, no. Don't you don't say that. because then they'll get us. >> Yeah, but they don't know which one. >> Doesn't matter. >> And they can't prove it. >> They They don't have That's what you. don't understand. They don't have to. prove it. >> Oh, >> all they have to do is make a claim. >> Huh? >> And then you have to fight it and you'll. lose. >> You're Joe Rogan, though. They're not.

going to mess with you, guy. >> Oh, you're so incorrect. >> By the way, dude, you are jacked. >> I work out. >> Can we get your shirt off? >> No. [laughter]. How come? Joe, don't be selfish. I want you to Would you please take your. shirt off? >> For what reason? >> Because you have a beautiful body. >> Okay. >> And you work so hard at it. And no one. gets to see it. And you know, you want.

people to see it, but you can't do it. You can't go, "Well, I'm Joe Rogan. I. crafted this body." But if I ask you to, you get to show it off. >> I don't really want to show it off. That's why I wear clothes. >> You do though. >> But I don't. >> It's like if you did this podcast but. didn't put it out. What's the point? >> I don't think that's the same thing. >> I would love it if you showed your. beautiful body. >> Okay. [clears throat].

>> I love it. >> There you go. >> Oh yeah, Joe. Dude, can we stand? No, that's enough. >> Dude, look at that. >> I have muscles. >> Can we talk about before you put the. shirt on? Can we talk about it? >> What do you want to talk about? >> How you do that? >> I work out. You could do it, too. >> Well, >> do you work out? >> Yeah. >> How often? >> Do you really want to get into this? >> Sure. >> You do? >> Yeah. How often do you work out? >> Because I'm about to crack an egg open.

on your show that I don't think anyone's. ever talked about. >> How often you work out? >> A lot. >> Yeah. What are you doing these days? >> Okay. You want to get into this? >> Sure. >> Here we go. Here we go. Joseph Zachary. Rogan. >> I'm I don't want to get in trouble. But. I'm working out. By the way, beautiful. body. Your chest is stunning. See, I'm. glad. >> it doesn't even make me uncomfortable. that you say that. Like some men I would. be like, "This is odd.". >> No. No. I'm not a fly guy.

>> What does that mean? >> Like homosexual. [laughter]. >> [laughter]. >> I'm straight as they come, but I believe. in holding up people's hard work. And. that didn't just come from sitting. around eating Pringles and BaskinRobins. You worked your ass off. You deserve to. show it. And you never could cuz it's. you. And now I get to help celebrate. you. And all your fans got to see all. that hard work. And I love it, guy.

Okay. But I'm straight as a Chinese. truck driver. >> Chinese truck drivers are never gay. >> Never. Is. >> that part of the job? >> Yeah. >> There. Seriously though, how many dudes. are jerking off under the ocean? >> How many guys are jerking off to you. just taking your shirt off? >> A couple. But how many guys are jerking. off to me taking my shirt off while. they're under the ocean? >> Let me check. If you got 14 subs, how. many people are on each sub? How many. men are on each sub?

It might not be known. >> Let's take a guess. >> They keep it very secret. If you had to. guess, how many people are on each sub? >> I'm going to say [laughter]. no. >> A thousand. >> A lot more than that. >> Really? >> On the on the Trident. The Trident are. like floating cities. number it gave me. might be including all submarines, including like every government, not.

just ours. >> Okay. But how many how many people are. on each submarine? >> How many like could one of those. submarines hold? >> A small one is 30 to 70. I'll show you a. large. >> a small one. >> Yeah. >> Large one is 120 to 140. >> Wow. >> That seems about it. Big 160 maybe max. >> And there's 14 of them. So, there's at. least a thousand dudes underwater right. now. >> It said there's 40 to 70,000. [clears throat]. >> 40 to 70,000 guys under the water. >> Yeah. >> Yeah.

>> Wa. >> So, don't worry about United States. taking a hit. My god, >> this is crazy. >> This wild. >> That's a crazy statistic. >> Are you glad I dropped by today? >> I'm always glad when you drop by, but. this is crazy. 40 to 70,000 people are. underwater in submarines at any given. moment with huge uncertainty. Why? We. can only estimate. No navy or company. publishes a live count of how many. submarines are deployed right now or how. many crew are aboard each one and how. many deployments are classified. Civilian research and tourism subs are.

also not tracked in a global real-time. way. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> That's crazy. So that could be a whole. new civilization. So if they blow up the. earth, but how many chicks? >> Well, that's the thing. The ratio is. probably not good. The ratio is probably. non-existent. How many chicks are in. these subs? >> That's classified. >> Are they Do they have girls that serve. in these subs? >> There's There's girl submariners. >> What is the number? It's like 10 to one.

>> And worse, what do they look like? But I. bet they're the [ __ ] cream of the. crop underwater cuz this the pressure. squeezes in all the cellulite. >> No. No. There's no other girls. >> Oh, they're the Oh, yeah. You got You. get. >> No competition. Yeah. No competition. Like how many ladies? Let's take a guess. of how many ladies are underwater at any. given time. 20. >> Yeah. >> 10%. >> 10%. >> Women are likely well under 10% of. submarines worldwide with higher. percentages in a few navies such as US.

and some NATO allies. Those are the ones. that are in trouble. >> There's 609 uh assigned to submarines in. the US. >> Wow. 609 women get getting how many. dudes hitting on them? >> Yeah. It's That would must be hell. Be. underwater with a guy who's annoying you. and you can't get away from him. >> Can't get away. He's farting. [sighs]. >> Underwater sex. >> Underwater farts must be horrible. >> But let's. >> What do they do with the [ __ ]. >> They don't come up sometimes for months.

>> Oh yeah. The trident go out for I think. a year almost. >> And so what do they do with their [ __ ]. >> They just eject it. They eject it into. the sea. >> They're not doing anything a whale isn't. doing. But do they eject it into the. sink? >> They have to. I mean, they can't make. meatloaf. >> Can you imagine if like during that. process somehow or another it got. clogged up cuz somebody used too much. toilet paper and the sub sinks? >> Yeah. A fatty. >> cuz Javier just took a giant dump. >> They might melt it.

>> Melt it. >> They can rise up too. Don't forget they. can break. >> throw it into the nuclear pit where the. engines. >> can manage trash by compacting, melting, or jettisoning it to avoid det. >> Okay, that's trash. What about poop? >> Well, I that's I said. >> did you ask about poop? Ask about poop. just specifically because waste could. mean, you know, paper cups. >> It's the same thing though. I would. always go now if you were jettisoning. your poop everywhere, you might want to. have detectors for human waste in the. water and you might start figuring out. where the submarines are. So maybe you.

don't want to do that. He's operating on. another level. in the 40s probably. >> This is a dude that's into conspiracies. >> Jamie, >> he operates on other levels. >> Tracking. >> Do you know that term can neither. confirm nor deny came from a Russian. submarine that was sunk that we were. pulling out of the ocean and there was. and they had to they got questioned. about it and they said, "Are are we in. possession of this r Russian sub? Are we.

pulling it out of the ground?" And they. said, "We can neither confirm nor deny.". Because they had to answer. >> So that is an answer without an answer. >> I can neither confirm nor deny. >> That's akin to saying pleading the. fifth. >> Sort of. But it's you actually are. answering. You can neither confirm nor. deny. >> That's like saying I'm What do you do. for a living? I'm in heating and air. conditioning. >> No, because that's a very specific. trade. >> Well, they kind of counteract each. other. What do you do? I'm in shipping.

and receiving. [laughter]. Are you sure? I can neither confirm nor. deny. >> I see. >> I mean, this is an avoidance uh problem. that But I want to talk to you about my. workout regime. >> Okay. >> Cuz you asked. >> I did ask. >> I'm doing something so advanced. Uh you do the ice baths, right? >> Mhm. >> You you soak in them. >> Yep. So, I'm doing something so extensive. that I'm exercising myself into a new.

race. >> What are you becoming? >> And no one's said this before on your. podcast, I don't think, but I'm working. out so hard to become a new race. And two words, Gara Ruffa. You take your ice baths, garam, my guy. >> What is that? >> Jamie, look it up and do it quick, you. [ __ ].

I mean, do it quick. [laughter]. >> A garafa. >> Look it up. You're becoming a fish. >> Oh, that's not any fish. The garuffa. people submerse their legs and feet into. the tanks and the garuffa have vibrating. lips, Joe, and they eat skin cells. Picture this. Underwater. >> So those the ones like when you go into.

Thailand and ladies dump their legs into. a fish pond, >> right? Vibrating lips. >> Clean your toes off, >> Joe? >> Mhm. And how are you working out to become. one of those? So, while you're taking. your ice baths, >> Yeah. >> I'm submerging my whole body, my lower. >> extremities. into one of these tanks. >> These fish are sculpting my body, my.

lower extremities. And have you ever heard of malaria. pills? >> Yes. >> So, while everyone else is popping ompic. and doing everything else, I've been on. malaria pills for four years. And these things can flip your blood. platelets. Okay, that's the power of. malaria pills. They can actually change. your red blood cell count and your white. blood cell count. It's powerful. medicine. >> Okay. >> So, with the use of my malaria pills.

and the garuffas. and I don't know if you want to see the. results, but my legs are hammerjacked. right now. >> Let me see them. Let's see. My legs are. power. Take your pants off. >> Okay. Come on. >> Okay. Are you sure? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And before I do it, >> I'm I'm going into a new race and I. don't want anyone to accuse me of doing. black leg. >> Notice he has baggy pants on.

>> I don't know if you've ever seen the. fastest man in the world is who? >> Hussein Bolt. >> Hussein Bolt. The biggest high jumper in. the world is a black man. The longest. long jumper is a black man. The f. highest vertical jumper is a black man. And this isn't racist. This isn't black. leg. But this is me. >> What are you doing? >> Working out into a new race. And I'm. proud of this. >> Pull your pants off.

[laughter]. >> I wouldn't be laughing if I were you. These legs are jacked. [laughter]. [screaming]. [gasps]. >> Look at these legs. >> Why are they a different color? >> Well, I told you I'm working out into. another race. >> You have [ __ ] serious leg muscles, man. >> Yeah. >> Where'd you get those leg muscles? >> I told you. >> What's going on with your underwear?

That's kind of crazy. >> What do you mean? >> My underwear are covering it. What kind? What the the [ __ ] do you have on your. legs? >> Dude, I told you I'm working out right. into another race. >> Are those your real legs? That's very. impressive. You don't have like silicon. over them or anything? Those your actual. leg muscles, bro. >> Wait a minute. Why is. >> giant leg muscles? >> Why is it you can take your shirt off. and I don't I compliment you, >> but it's like your legs don't m mass. They don't m match up with the rest of.

your. >> cuz the colors off. >> No, the muscles are crazy. Stand up. again. Yeah, >> those muscles are insane. >> Yeah, look at these. >> Are those real? >> Well, what? >> Tell me the truth. They look like. plastic. >> What are you talking about? >> It looks like you're wearing something. >> J, come on, >> Jamie. Those are the most insane legs. I've ever seen in my life. Right. Right. >> If that was a guy weighing in at a UFC. fight, that would make sense. But. >> go viral. >> Two words. Gara Ruffa. >> Where'd you get those legs, >> dude? I sink them. >> So, if I sit in the tank, I'll get legs. like that.

>> Well, are you taking malaria pills? Oh, no. >> You do my combo. >> Do you want to. >> stand up? Let me see the pants. [laughter]. >> I mean, >> and look at the skin difference. [snorts]. >> Pull take your shirt off so I can see. where the skin changes color. >> I Excuse me. >> I want to see where the skin changes. color. >> If you take your shirt off again, I. will. >> But I just did. >> But I want to do it together. >> Okay, do it together.

>> [laughter]. >> You son of a [ __ ] You son of a [ __ ]. You Rogan. [laughter] What have you done. for? What? Where did you get those. [ __ ] pants? [laughter]. >> Broke. [laughter]. >> Don't fall in there. Don't go in there. >> A gourd.

THE only thing I could fit in there was. a gourd. [laughter]. Oh my [snorts] god. [laughter]. Oh, [laughter]. Joe. When I first saw your legs, I was like, "What the [ __ ] is going on? How does he. have legs like that?". >> I noticed earlier he's got some baggy. pants on. [laughter]. >> I know. Jes.

weird. >> Where the [ __ ] did she get those pants? >> Dude, [snorts]. why can't I look good? >> You look great. >> God. >> Like, you could wear those like to a. pool, like a public pool, and the ladies. would definitely be checking you out. >> Yeah. >> Like, look at his gourd. >> Can I leave the gourd with Dimmitri? Can. we add to the collection? >> I'm going to have people smell it. I'm. going to tell them, "Smell that." smell. >> That was in Harlon Williams pants,

>> dude. >> Not even in his pants. It was like. rubbing up against his [ __ ]. >> I'm going to leave that there for people. to smell. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Next time someone comes in, what's. all this stuff here? Grab it first. >> I'm like, smell that. >> Can I pull my pants up? >> You Yeah, sure. >> Feels weird sitting here with my pants. down. >> Well, you are wearing pants. You're. wearing rubber pants. >> Well, >> rubber muscle pants. >> Come on. >> Don't you want legs like that for real, >> Joe? Wouldn't that be awesome? >> That's like me saying, "Don't you want a. chest like that for real? You're hairier.

than I thought.". >> Really? >> Are you part Armenian? [laughter]. >> Are you? >> No. >> No. >> Great. [clears throat]. Hang on. I got to pull my pants up. [laughter]. God. from behind. [laughter] Put the board. back in. THERE WE GO. [laughter]. AH, STUCK.

Blur that. I don't know. >> Do we have to blur it? >> I don't know. >> No, it's a gourd. >> And you're worried about a song getting. dinged. [laughter]. >> Oh my god. [laughter]. >> Silly [ __ ] Ch. [snorts]. [laughter]. >> Oh my god.

>> Do you know how. >> I'm crying? >> Do you know how moist my balls are right. now? >> How bad that gourd must smell? [laughter]. Oh, as spring shifts into summer, for a lot. of people that means traveling and. planning and making sure you're in the. right shape. Whatever you get up to. though, make sure you're taking extra. care of you with AG1. It's an easy way. to support your energy, mood, and immune.

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And for a limited time, get a bottle of. vitamin D3 K2 and an AG1 flavor sampler. for free in your welcome kit with your. first subscription. That's. drinkagg.com/jo. But I am proud of you because [laughter]. [laughter]. Oh my god. >> I'm proud of you that you took your. shirt off cuz I'm not joking. You worked.

so hard for that. >> Thank you. >> And you could never show it. You had to. have a conduit. You had to have someone. invite you to do it so it didn't look. self-centered or conceited. You deserve. to show that hard work to the world. Thank you. >> Good for you. And you look great. >> Thank you very much. >> You're welcome. I love it. And I hope. it's an inspiration to people watching. to want to be as physically fit and put. together. It's great. Right.

>> Sure. >> I feel like remember when you were a. kid, they had those books where you. could take half a body and half a body. and remember their little kids books and. you'd fold them. >> Yeah. You fold them over. >> I feel like if we took your upper part. and put it on my lower part, we'd have. the immaculate human being. And then. those fart bubbles from the bottom of. the ocean won't have a trouble coming. around. >> Yeah. >> You look like me and Joe Zachary Rogan, those fart bubbles from the areoli.

drench will come up and suck us a dirty. lasagna. Sorry, I get excited, Joe. >> Maybe it's the like forever chemicals. leaking through the rubber underwear. you're wearing. [laughter]. >> They're not underwear. How dare you? Those are my legs. >> You should take them off cuz you're. sweating that's leeching into your blood. right now. All the BPAs. >> God, I don't want to die. But you know. what's interesting? My legs are bronze.

>> And we don't talk about the bronze. people. We always talk about white and. black, >> but. >> what about the bronzies, >> the Incas, the Mayas? >> I mean, these people and the legs on. them. Did you ever see Apocalyptto? And. I don't know if this is in any history. books anywhere, but those bronzies could. motor. >> Yeah, true. >> So, I've got legs where if I'm being. chased, if a rapist is coming after me,

I'm out of here. There's three men in. this room. Two of you are getting raped. Not me. >> Wow. >> Yeah. I mean, these legs, I could jump over uh. Dolly Parton's gazebo. >> By the way, speaking of Areola, have you. seen hers? >> I haven't. >> They're the size of lily pads. I had I. had a one nighter with her about three. weeks ago. She's. >> a one night show. >> A one night stand. We were jackhammering. all night. Picked her up at a bar in.

Malibu. Hammer jack. >> I don't think it was really Dolly. Parton. It was It was She goes out. >> Oh, she was that night. >> You sure it wasn't a lady wearing a. mask, >> dude? It was her. And her areas are the. size of lily pads. I'm not kidding. I. woke up in the morning, there were two. bullfrogs sitting on her tits. >> Why you looking at me like that? >> She's kind of old to be [ __ ]. >> Not for me. Have you seen my legs? >> Also, she's a very respected lady. I. think it's very rude. 80.

It's the way I said effing. We We made. love. >> Oh, okay. I feel better. >> We made love and her areas are the size. of lily pads. >> I feel a lot better now. Thanks. >> Yeah. Sorry. I didn't mean to. >> Yeah. >> I should keep it classy. >> Do you like them big? The big areas. >> I like a big areola. Reminds me of a. pancake. >> Yeah. >> Like sometimes I'll put a dollop of. butter on it. >> It's a robust woman. Like it's a lot. going on there. As big areas. >> And the dark ones. And they're great to.

take with you camping. If you ever have. a rubber raft and you get a hole in it, you can rip one off and patch it. >> Oh Jesus. >> Yeah, >> that's not what I was thinking. >> Well, you don't camp much. >> Just bring a patch. >> Yeah, but if you don't have one, you can. rip off a dirty areoli. >> that you're hoping you're going to get. out of the woods. >> Well, if you can't and you're with a. chick, you got an areoli. >> Lose your areola forever just because. you forgot to bring a patch. >> Yeah, but it's What do you want? one. you're one areoli less so you have your.

life back. >> plus if she's 80 they don't those don't. heal that good she could die from. infection. >> it's about living it's not about. >> having an areoli. you want to get out of the woods or not. uh one titty Jackson or whatever her. name is. >> okay tough love. >> speaking of sex have you been on this. only fans thing. >> have you gone on. >> no I don't go. >> it's all I'm hearing about you right all. you hear about now is only fans. fans.com. >> Yep. They do comedy shows.

>> I finally go on this thing cuz it's all. I'm hearing about. Onlyfans.com. I go on. about a week ago and I'm on there for. about two hours and it's just video. after video after picture and I'm on. there so long my eyes are like. >> right. >> spinning. And finally I stop the damn. thing and I'm like screw this. I already. have central air conditioning. Why the. hell am I looking at this site? I don't. need a fan. I mean, good lord.

[clears throat]. I'll pull my legs out. I will pull my. dirty bronze legs out and wrap them. around your neck like a dirty anaconda. >> What the [ __ ] is wrong with you? Do you. think if you're a woman you'd be doing. Only Fans? >> You know, it's an interesting question. It's a moral moral dilemma, isn't it? >> Let's imagine if Haron was a female and.

Haron was 21 and just got here from. Canada. >> with these legs. >> with those legs and not a lot of. >> not a lot of ways to make a living, but. you're cute. >> Desperate times call for desperate. matters, Joe Rogan. >> You know, it's it's a de it's a serious. question and it's almost a sad one in. today's world. It is. >> because in the old days you had your sex. industry sort of confined to the. shadows. >> Mhm. >> And now anyone's daughter, cousin,

niece, nephew that they they can. suddenly be exposed to the world in the. most promiscuous way but in the most. profitable way. >> That's the problem is also you get. addicted to the money. Let's imagine. >> let's imagine you're a lady. >> and um you have a site and you know you. show your feet and stick things inside. your butt or whatever you do and you're. making what was that last part? >> Stick stuff inside your butt. >> if you're a lady. >> Yeah. >> Like what? >> Some ladies they put uh like dildos in. there and stuff.

>> Okay. Have you ever seen that? >> No, but I'm just assuming it happens. Doesn't that happen, Jamie? >> Sure. >> Sure. >> You've never seen a lady do that? I'm. pure as a driven snow, sir. Joe, >> not in real life. >> You haven't? >> No. Stick a rubber dick inside their. butthole. I don't want to be there for. that. >> No. >> Why not? >> I'm I'm not interested. >> You ever been through a car wash? >> I have. >> What's the difference? >> It's a big difference. One of them is. your butt where you [ __ ] out of and.

you're putting a rubber dick inside of. the other one is you're getting your car. washed. >> You make a good point. [laughter]. Point is, my if you were making. >> Yeah. >> If you're doing all this and you. developed a nice fan base and you're. making a h 100,000 a month, 300,000 a. month. >> Yeah. >> And then you don't feel good about. yourself and what do you do? Do you just. save up the money and quit? How if you. meet a nice guy and and he's like, "So, what do you do for a living?" You're. like, >> "Well, let me tell you. [snorts] I don't. want to do it anymore,

>> but I take rubber dicks and I oil my. butthole up and I shove them in there. a. you know HD camera. >> few inches from my butthole. >> the guy send me tips. >> I think the subtext here Joe is what is. the price you put on your dignity. >> right? >> What is the price you put on your. spirit? Because this stuff it may seem. fun in the moment but you get down the. road and it follows you. You know, we.

looked it up and it's something crazy. like 10% of girls aged 18 to 24 in the. United States are on Only Fans. H. >> this is a this is a tough question and. you can tell me to shut up if you want. >> Okay. >> You have a daughter, don't you? >> I have three daughters. >> You have three daughters. I have four. sisters. >> If one of your daughters told you she. was doing Only Fans, what would your. reaction be? >> I think I made a a big failure as a.

parent. But how would you approach it. with said daughter? >> Well, you would give them advice. First. of all, your daughter or your son or any. is a human being. You don't own them, right? >> Good point. So, you're supposed point, but good point. >> If you treat them like you own them and. they have to listen to you, they'll. never listen to you and they're going to. rebel. This is just human nature. >> Excellent point. I'm with you so far. You have to give them advice and you. have to talk to them and talk to them. about the repercussions of what they're. doing and realize that this stuff will.

follow you. And some people are going to. be fine with that. Look, there's some. ladies that are like, "Look, I don't. ever want a [ __ ] regular job. I'm not. I'm ashamed of my body." And maybe. they're not sticking things up their. butt. Maybe they're just being naked and. they're like, "This is way better than. having a job." Fine. What does it say. here? Top 1% top earners make about $18,000 to. $49,000 per year. Whoa. That's it. >> That's not much. [clears throat] I could. work at Denny's for that. >> What? So, the top 0.1%. make a h 100,000 per month or 1.2.

million annual. That's the top 0.1, but. the top 1% only make $18,000 to 49,000 a. year. So, you imagine you're making. $18,000 or $49,000 a year. You're still. living in poverty. >> Oh, yeah. >> If you're making $18,000 a year, you're. poor and you are showing your [ __ ] and. no one's paying for it. Yeah. >> Wait a minute. But Joe, I know that you. >> look at that. >> You have a bit of a rage side. Like Joe. [clears throat] knows how to rage.

Because you're a fighter. You know how. to go into that red zone. You're an you. can be an intimidating force. Is there a. world where your daughter says, "Daddy, I'm doing this." And Joe just goes, "You're [ __ ] not." Like is do you go. into the red zone or just. >> It's not going to If you do that with. your kids, they're not going to listen. to you. But what if you did it just. because of the reaction where you were. so mad or disappointed in. >> I would only be that mad if someone was. doing something terrible to them. >> Okay. >> Or you know, >> you're a good dad. >> Well, you have to be.

>> I like I like what I'm hearing here. >> You have to you have to be a human. You. know, you're the parent, but you also. you got to understand human nature. I. know people that yell at their kids or. and I know kids that have been yelled at. and they always resent that. They they. they're always angry. It's a it's a. stupid way to handle things. Something. happened here just now that I. [clears throat] was not expecting today. >> What's that? >> I got to see a side of you that I didn't. know if it was there or not cuz I don't. know your family life, but I got to feel.

for a second dad vibes, dad love. And I. think. >> I sort of pictured you sitting with your. daughter and being very reasonable and. loving. >> Well, hopefully I never have to have. that conversation. >> I hope so, too. But I I I see you as an. understanding, nurturing dad in that. moment. I love that. >> I try to be. >> Yeah, that's the goal. I mean, if you. want to have a relationship with your. kids, and you know, my daughters are. teenagers now, too. And we've never gone. through a period where you always hear.

these periods where the kids rebel. against you and they hate you when. you're teenagers. That's never happened. And I think it's probably never happened. because. >> we always just communicate. And I try to. be as reasonable, open-minded as possible, but also very, you got to be very supportive, too. I. mean, it's hard to be a kid, man. It's. even harder to be a kid today than ever. before because of social media and all. the pressures that they face. And. >> and then also this weird world that. they're entering into where AI might be. taking all the jobs. So, they're like, "What the [ __ ] am I going to do? What am.

I going to do with my life?". >> I love AI. >> Do you? You're all in? >> I'm all in. I love it. >> What's your favorite part about it? >> I love it. Joe, because it's it's. opening a door to. creativity for everybody. Now, a lot of. people are being pessimistic and saying. it's taking away our creativity, but. think about any art gallery you've ever. been to. You go in, you see the Renoir, the Dega, the Deli, all the all the. usual suspects, Van Go, Goya, all of.

them. Right. >> Right. Those have all been placed there. over the centuries. as the art that we all know and have. adopted. And that came from a select group of. individuals very talented. um contributed to our culture and art. history. But it's a pool of about maybe. 200 artists through the course of. history. Right. >> now, think about a guy you bumped into. working in the sprinkler aisle at Home.

Depot 3 weeks ago who's got a wife and. kids and maybe doesn't have the. opportunity or the wherewithal to tap. into his artistry. But now that guy and the guy at Dunkin. Donuts and the girl that works at the. car wash and every human being now has a. way to express their hidden talents. And so with AI, they can go home at the. end of the night and press a few buttons. and go, I imagined this thing and AI is.

letting me get it out and the world gets. to see it. Same with medicine. Same with. inventions. How many Elon Musks are. there that grew up in poverty and never. got the chance to expand on a concept or. an idea because they didn't have the. means? But if AI starts to open these. doors for every human being, think of. the barrage of incredible visual and. conceptual designs that are going to. come at us. And a lot of them will. probably be practical and actually work.

And the common man and woman didn't have. access to that before. >> That's one way of looking at it. That's. positive. >> I love it. >> That's true. example in my own life. I. come from the animation world and I like. to write. and a few years back I pitched an. animation idea around Hollywood and it. got rejected. and so now me and a few of my friends in. the dawn of AI are creating the same. thing that got rejected and we're going. to put it out into the world. We.

couldn't have done it two three years. ago. It would have cost us $3 million. Now we're doing it for a few thousand. >> and it looks like a Pixar movie. It. looks like Pixar. So. >> if you tell me that AI isn't opening a. whole new world, I it's not true. It is. It's letting all of us dig really deep. and expose our gifts and our talents. And yeah, there's always the downside, but let's try and look at the good side. of it, too. >> I like what you're saying.

>> Thank you, Joe. Um the the downside is. the people that don't want to be. creative and they want to be accountants. or they want to be lawyers or they want. to like those jobs are going to. >> stop. How about that accountants an. accountant because he can never tap into. the artistry that hides within them or. the lawyer. But now after hitting the. machines all day, he can go home and go, you know what? I never could have done. this before, but I'm going to create an. image, a painting, a drawing in 10. minutes that I've always wanted to show.

the world. So that's what I'm saying. Even those pessimists can now throw off. the demons on their back that are. inhibiting them and it's going to allow. all of us to be so much more expressive. >> Okay, >> that's my take. >> Well, hopefully. I mean, that's the. question like, what do people do if. there's no more jobs and you just get. money from the government because AI. creates so so many so much abundant. resource that no one has to work. anymore? Are you going to find things to. do that are interesting? And maybe AI is.

going to help you do that. >> I'll tell you this, Joe, in probably. seven or eight years, I bet we're. sitting here, me and you, going, "Remember AI?". Because we're humans, man. We don't. stop. People think AI is going to be the. end of the line. It's just another. stepping stone to our progression to. where we're meant to go. You believe in. higher forces. I know that. >> So, this is just one of the step. Remember when people thought, I'm not. getting a cell phone. I'm not getting on.

the internet. I don't want a fax. machine. But we just keep going. We're. humans. We keep going up those stairs. We're adventurers. We're curious. We. never stop. And so AI is just another. small thing. As big as it seems now, as. robust as it seems, it's just a small. step in the giant ladder that's leading. this weird species that we are to a a. bigger, higher, distant place. H look at you, dude. You should do a.

seminar. >> I should show my legs again. >> You should tell everybody all these. thoughts you have. >> Well, I'm telling right now. We're. sharing them. >> Yeah. But don't you think all these. things we come up with are leading to. something where we're meant to go? Yes. I don't think we're all just here. randomly in wars and fighting and this. I think it's all we're the worker ants. right now. And we're the platform for. the future worker ants to get to the. pinnacle that we don't even know what it.

is yet. And maybe there is no pinnacle. But whatever force created us, Joe, they. want us to keep going. That's why we. search the oceans and the space and the. moon and the planets. We're going to. keep going. >> Yep. >> And AI is a tool for us to get there. So, you can be pessimistic. You can be. like, "Oh, AI and all." But why don't. you just spend your time looking at the. positive side of things? >> I agree with you about the direction. that we're going. I think that's what. we're meant to do. Yeah.

>> Yeah. I just think that we are in a time of. insane change and that makes people. scared. >> It does. Yeah. >> But you know being scared almost ma also. makes us feel alive. >> Think about the most vibrant moments in. your life. >> How about after 9/11? Remember those. days? >> Oh yeah. People People It's like someone. kicked the ant nest open and we were all. scurrying around looking for the eggs. The ants always preserve the eggs. >> Yeah. But those eggs were our lives and.

our neighbors. We were talking and. communicating. >> We're friendly with each other. >> That's right. >> We realized the importance of of a. communal existence. >> We realized the importance of needing. each other. >> Yeah. People get very complacent and. they need to be shook up every now and. then. It's very good for you. >> And maybe AI, if there's one downside to. it, it could maybe create a bigger. cocoon for us because we'll have so much. at our fingertips. It may isolate us. even more. But but we have to look beyond all these.

weird parameters we set and go what. what's the upside? What's it doing for. us? >> Well, it's inevitable and it's going to. happen no matter what. And I think. people always figure out a way to be. okay. >> Yeah. >> And I think that's going to happen and. there's going to be a time of great. upheaval and it's going to change a lot. But hopefully people will be all right. and they're going to have to adapt and. learn and grow. >> and we always have. >> And we always have. >> And we always will. And most likely. it'll be better for everybody overall. This idea that Elon keeps pushing is.

universal high income. Is that people. will have plenty of money, abundant. resources, and there's not going to be a. problem of food, shelter, medical, education. All that stuff's going to go. away because of AI. And the real problem. be what do you decide to do with your. life? What do you decide to do with your. time? >> Right? >> But you'll have the freedom to do. whatever you want with your time. Just. think about how little crime there's. going to be if there's abundant. resources and no one has to steal. anymore. No more stealing, no more.

robbing, and no more poverty. Literally, no more poverty. I don't know if that's. possible or if it is in 50 years or 100. years, but no more poverty is wild. No. more poverty is a reality. Criminality, I think you have to remember there's. people who don't engage in criminality. to make money. They engage in. criminality as a passion. A lot of. criminals like the process. They like. the game playing. They like the herd and. the and the chess moves. They they like.

winning. They like deceiving, >> right? They like drug dealing, right? >> Making a big deal and a submarine shows. up in San Diego and you pull the [ __ ]. coke bags out. Throw them in the back of. a Mercedes. Yeah, you listen to the. Miami Vice team. Yeah. >> Or there's there's even the the ad. adversarial component where they like. the idea of killing their competition. >> Yeah. It's a war. >> So, I don't think we'll ever transcend, you know, the criminal element of it.

>> We could. >> we could if we you never know, though. >> If AI develops to the point where we. have literal telepathy and we could read. each other's minds, you won't be able to. plot any kind of crimes like that. anymore. Or, and this is because I think. it never ends. Does AI design something. to help us plot? [sighs]. >> You know what I mean? >> Maybe it just if you're a criminal, it. just puts you in a simulation where. you're allowed to do like Grand Theft. Auto, but in real life. >> Yeah. >> You know, you just lock in and all of a.

sudden you're in the streets of Chicago. and you're running down the street with. a gun. You shoot a guy and take his. Mercedes and. >> and he's just having a good time. But. then you come right back to real life. and it's fine. Everything's fine. >> Yeah. It's it's this is what I like that. it's it's so endless and it it's going. to take so many twists and turns. >> Well, then there's a question is has. that already happened. Are we in a. simulation right now? >> Oh yeah. I think we talked about this. last time. >> A lot of people think we are. >> I don't believe smarter than me. >> But can I take you back a second?

>> Take me back to the old days. >> Exactly. Picture Pioneer Village. Betty. O' Conor churning some butter down by. the blacksmith shop. Kyle McGiven shaving timbers to build a. log cabin. >> Amish. >> Do you think that those people who were. in covered wagons and were us just the. old version of us? Do you think they. ever pulled the covered wagon to the. side of the trail and went, "Hey,

Jediah, do you think we're in a. simulation?". Like I think we've created this. simulation talk because we do have all. this computer and you know we're in this. world now that that's full of. contraptions. >> Okay, let me ask you. >> But I don't think we're we're we're in a. simulation. But I go ahead. >> Are you sure the pioneer days even. happened? >> Wow, you got me. You son of a [ __ ] I'm. walking off the show. I'm walking off. the show. [laughter] [ __ ] you.

>> And this isn't a simulation. >> Big rubber legs. Get the [ __ ] out of. here. >> [laughter]. >> the only guy to walk off your show with. fake legs. [laughter]. >> I mean, if you think about it, we think. that the pioneer days happen. We can go. to the museum and we could see pioneer. day wheels. And. >> what about the butter churning, Joe? The. sweet butter churn. >> There's a bunch of people that studied. it in universities allegedly. If they're. real people, I don't even know if.

they're real. I don't even know if. you're real. Why would you have rubber. legs? This doesn't make sense. You. showed up here with rubber pants and a. gourd over your [ __ ] That doesn't make. any sense. Do that. >> I don't even think I'm real anymore. >> You might not be. >> Good point. >> For real. For real. >> I I think we're real. I I think it's not. a simulation. I don't know h how how do. you make a simulation? Like how what? We're just We're all like pixels right. now and like there's too much. >> Do you know the uh DMT laser thing? What.

do you mean that like the. >> So when people smoke DMT, apparently if. you use like a DeWalt construction. laser, you know those lasers they use to. make sure things are level. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> If you get above that laser and look. down on it, you see code in the laser in. the laser. >> like matrix code like the numbers. >> code. It's like and people see the same. code. >> They they describe it exactly the same. >> Okay. And so people see it. If you look. to the side, you look underneath it, you.

look, you see the code in the laser. And. people think that this laser is exposing. the code of the simulation that we live. in. This is supposedly what it looks. like. >> I [clears throat] mean, I just am not. there. >> You see symbols and like weird number. I. haven't done it. >> If I see the whole drum set, I'm in. But. if it's just the symbols, forget it. >> I haven't done it, but I know a lot of. people who have done it. And everyone. that I know that's done it has said the. same thing. They said it is [ __ ]. insane.

>> DMT. >> No. Yeah. But DMT with this laser thing. So when you look down the laser, everybody that I know that's done it say. it blew their [ __ ] mind. You see all. these weird symbols. They look like. hieroglyphs or some foreign language or. numbers. And it's very bizarre. >> I don't know. It it just seems to me why. run us through the drama of a life, a. human life where we're born, we endure. pain, illness, suffering, love, hate, all the emotions just to be as a.

simulation. I don't I don't get the reason for that. >> Why? What's the reason for it if it's. not a simulation? >> It's organic. It's just organic life. >> But okay, what is organic? >> It's made of the earth, born of the. environment, >> right? But isn't that like this entire. computing process where single-sellled. organisms figured out how to become. multi-elled organisms figured out how to. interact with their environment, figured. out the ecosystem, figured out how to. balance itself off with both predator. and prey and food and water and.

resources, >> right? But it's so very intricate and. delicate. You have to bring into the. question, was it was it organic or. organic under the guise of a bigger. creator? Well, maybe the bigger creator. is the simulation itself. >> Damn it, Rogan. You know, I'm. >> the problem maybe the problem. I'm out. Take them rubber legs and get the [ __ ]. out of here. Maybe the the problem is. calling it a simulation. >> I like that. >> Maybe it's not that it's not real. Yeah.

>> But that there is an underlying program. that's running. >> Maybe instead of thinking of simulation. because you think of it as a simulation, you think of it as not real. like my. when I slap my arm, it hurts a little. Like that's real, right? If I knock my. knee, that hurts. >> But it's not that it's not real, but. that you're it's running a program. And. this program, what we talked about. earlier when you're saying that people. are moving towards something bigger and. a new version of what we are. Maybe.

that's a part of the program. Maybe the. program is that all of these different. components have to work together. This. is why we'll never get rid of evil. You. need evil. so that you appreciate good. You want rainy days so you appreciate. the sunshine. You want like good times. and bad time. You have to have a little. bit of bad times so you appreciate the. good times. You have to have some days. where you feel like [ __ ] so that you. appreciate good days. You have to have. bad friends so you appreciate really. good friends. Okay, all that stuff. balances itself out and it's moving. towards something. And what is it moving.

towards? The thing that we're involved. in right now, AI. It's moving towards. the creation of a new life form that's. far more intelligent than we are. >> and it's probably a part of this whole. process. >> Okay, valid. I like what you just said. >> But I'm going to expand on it a little. >> Push through. You're coming at it from a human. perspective where you're channeling it. through, you know, a human mind which is. beautiful and endless and we can think.

beyond, you know, the scope of who knows. where our imaginations end. >> Uhhuh. >> But that's cuz we're humans and we have. the capacity. But to the schools of. salmon spawning up the river and the the. moose fighting with a grizzly bear right. now and the the the ants running around. in their nest. Do you think why would. they be part of a simulation? And and I. don't think any other living entity. thinks simulation. >> I don't think you have to say. simulation. I think it's a program and I. think all those other different.

creatures are a part of the ecosystem. Like you need the bears, you need the. salmon, you need the deer, you need the. vegetation, you need the animals that. that run through the the grasses and. [ __ ] on them and make manure. All that. stuff feeds off and we exist in that. thing and we're moving in this direction. of technological. innovation and moving towards this new. future that's happening right in front. of our eyes right now. >> But there's so many processes in what. you just said.

Why have them all? Why not just plop us. down as humans? No. >> And we don't need trees and grass. We. just live in kind of a vacuous vap. airspace and we still do our jobs, but. we don't Why do we need all the why do. we need mosquitoes and and slugs and. fungus? Like I know why we need them. biologically to make everything. symbiotic, but if it's just a. >> You just said it. >> If it's just a thing, if it's if it's. not real, why do we need. >> You keep saying that and I'm not saying. that. It's not not that it's not real.

It's a program. We're running a program. It's clearly real. What is real? What real is you. experience it as real consequences for. your actions. You feel things. You touch. things. You eat. You sleep. You need You. have resources. That's It's all real. >> You're asking a guy with fake legs. What's real? >> You have a fake tattoo, too. Too. >> Oh, Billy. [laughter]. >> I mean, it's like. >> No, I like this. I like I don't know if.

it's fake, but what I'm saying is it. might be a program that runs that makes. people and those people eventually make. AI and that might be the whole purpose. of the program. We might be in the. middle of it. >> We're in the middle of it. We were born. at a time, you and I were both born at a. time where none of this existed. We got. to experience life without any of it. Remember when answering machines first. came around? >> Yeah. >> Crazy. >> Yeah. You someone could leave a message. for and then the crazy one was answering. machines. So you could call your.

answering machine and get a message. >> from another phone. You press in your. code. >> and it was like 12 numbers. >> Yeah. >> And you memorize them cuz we got. addicted to it. >> And then you could listen to your. messages. >> Yeah. >> And you could even press pound and star. to skip over. >> Yeah. I remember those days. you have. five messages like, "Oh, somebody likes. me.". >> I remember I'd go do a gig and the. second I'd get off a plane, and a lot of. your viewers won't know what this is,

I'd run directly to the pay phone in the. airport and I'd hear my messages. instantly. >> Yeah, that was technology back then. We. were living on the edge back then. And. by the way, I'm not refuting or denying. everything you're saying, but I'm. pushing back a little because I can see. it's stimulating you to think deeper, and I like hearing your commentary on. it. I I like it that you're you're. you're if I push back a little, it makes. you dig deeper to make your point. And I. I like it. I like I'm like I like what.

I'm hearing coming from you. >> Well, I like what you're saying, too, is. about simulation. Like the idea that. it's fake. I don't think it's fake. >> I think it's a real thing. It's. obviously a real thing if we're. experiencing like what is real. Are your. dreams real? Yes. Is sleep real? Yes. >> These are real things. Whether or not. you can put it on a scale doesn't mean. it's not real. So I don't think the. simulation term is the best term. I. think it's a program. >> I think we're running a biological. program and we think of biological as. being separate from like math and being.

separate from like subatomic particles. and the [ __ ] confusing quantum world. I don't think it's separate from it at. all. I think it's all just one big super. complex program that's running that if. done properly, and we're experiencing it. right now, it leads to the creation of. artificial life. >> Okay? >> And even artificial life is a bad term. because it's not artificial. It's real. >> With all that being said, where do you. visualize the data center being? If it's. a program, is it off planet? Is it off.

galaxy? Is it invisible? Like, doesn't. there have to be a data center if we're. a program or how does it just whisp. itself up? >> The universe itself, I think the. universe itself is a program. I think it. runs from the beginning of the big bang. to the. >> the formation of neutron stars. And I. had this lady on, Michelle. Uh, how do. how do you say her last name? >> Dor. I barely know her. amazing lady. like worked for NASA cosmologist where.

she's an astronomer. >> and uh we were talking about like. neutron stars like the insanity of. neutron stars and how they bend space. and time they warp gravity around them. it's like. >> these things all exist out there in the. universe and they're all I think it's. all a part of this program and I think. this program is running. >> on other planets I think there's other. life forms that are doing very similar. things. >> look I I like the debate I like your. take on it. >> I I I just still struggle with the.

>> the the technicality of it all. >> Uhhuh. >> But the technicality of it all, if it's. just biological life, let's say. >> it's just random. >> All this stuff is random. Water rain. down, bacteria turned into [ __ ]. >> amiebas, >> platypuses, whatever. >> It all just happened slowly but surely. That makes less sense. That makes less. sense than uh a slow program that's.

running from literally the beginning of. single-sellled organisms, literally the. beginning of the formation of planets. That this is like a natural cycle that. happens everywhere in the universe. And. there's a reason why these these suns. spin around and spit out plasma and that. that stuff coales in space. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Coales in space. >> Yeah. >> You know, um um Terrence Howard, the the. actor, very excited. He was here, >> very eccentric guy. Yeah. >> He had a a theory that I can't stop. thinking about. >> What is it? >> He thinks that planets are formed.

>> because the suns eject particles over. time and that these stars eject. We see. those the big plasma ejections and the. big solar. He thinks that material. >> eventually gets out into space. eventually forms planets. And then he. says when the planets get further from. the sun, further enough from the sun, they people. >> And he thinks that's what what happens. to Earth. You get a certain distance and then life. evolves and then intelligent life. evolves and then eventually these. planets people and then when they get.

too far from the sun they can no longer. support intelligent life. They can no. longer support life. So then the people. have to get intelligent enough by the. time the planet's far enough away where. they've figured out a way to bypass all. the problems of living on a planet that. doesn't have an environment and living. on a planet that doesn't have water. They've [snorts] bypassed all that. Yeah, >> they've moved into the next realm of. existence and now they can travel. interstellar and do all that kind of. crazy. >> I wouldn't refute that theory. >> It's a good theory. >> I think it's a good theory. I mean, it.

could explain how we're even here, you. know? >> Yeah. It also could explain the weird. [ __ ] on Mars. >> Wait a minute. >> That Mars at one point in time might. have had life. >> Yeah. The dry lake beds and the. >> No, the structures. Have you ever seen. the structures on Mars? >> Oh, that face. >> No. Have you seen the big square? >> No. >> Okay, Jame, I'll show you. There's this. weird uh thing on Mars that, by the way, it's in the same area of Sidonia where. that face is. The face doesn't look like. a face to me. >> It's more shadowy. It's the shadows that.

make it look like a face. I think. >> it looked like a face in the early. images, but this stuff is [ __ ] weird. Like, that's weird. >> Is that the Glendale Galleria? >> It is, but God 5 million years ago on. Mars. So you're you're saying because. geometrically it's a perfect square, you. think it's a. >> look what that looks like, man. That's. nuts. Like when when do right angles. like that that are in the same distance. from each other ever exist in nature? >> That's crazy.

>> And if they determine what those bumps. are or those rock structures or. >> they don't know they don't even know how. big it is because it's somewhere it's. between 300 m is like the the small. estimate, but it might be as far as like. a couple of miles. Yeah, >> they don't know how big it is. Look at. that thing. What the [ __ ] is that? >> Yeah. >> What the [ __ ] is that? There's a bunch. of these things on Mars that are just. really weird. And if at one point in. time, I'm talking millions of years ago, >> hundreds of millions, >> who knows?

>> Yeah. >> How much would be left? >> Yeah. >> You know, how many um let's put this. into uh perplexity, Jamie. How many. ancient civilizations have. myths about or instead of do any how. about this? Not not how many. Do any. ancient civilizations have myths about. Mars? Have myths about Mars? >> It's perfectly feasible. >> Totally feasible. >> Yeah.

Like if you think about it, several. ancient civilizations have myths or. religious associations tied to Mars, usually because they saw it as a bright. reddish and sometimes ominous plan. Hey, don't mansplain to me, bro. Ancient. Romans identified Mars with their god of. war. >> Okay. Do any um ancient civilizations. have a myth about people coming from. Mars? How about that? Wow. >> See if that is um do any have myths.

about humans. coming from Mars? You could just do a. follow-up question at the bottom there. Here we go. What do you think? Yes. >> Wow. >> Here it goes. No. Ancient civilizations. did not have myths about humans or. people coming from Mars. While Mars has. been central to mythology across many. cultures, these myths focus on Mars as a. deity or celestial object, not as.

humanity's origin point. What is that. one um tribe? Is the the Doon people? They have a um a weird origin story from. another planet. >> The Doons. >> Yeah. Do tribe. >> origin story. I don't know. I don't. know. >> The Doons. Wow. >> Um, I think it's somewhere in Africa. >> Sounds like Sounds like they're broke. Whoever they are,

>> Mali, they have a complex creation myth. centered around Amna, the supreme. creator god who lived in the celestial. regions as was the origin of all. creation. In their cosmology, the stars. resent Amma's bodily parts with the. constellation Orion called the seat of. heaven or Amma's navl. And so I think they have this origin. story from Whoa. What is this? Descended. to earth in an arc suspended from heaven. by a copper chain. Whoa. >> Okay,

>> look at this. According to Doon. mythology, Amma created the earth and. then split himself in two, creating Ogo, representing disorder, and Nommo. representing order. Ogo descended to. earth along the Milky Way al uh with. which the Doon believe connects heaven. and earth and created havoc. To restore. balance, Amma created Nommo and gave him. eight assistants consisting of four. pairs of twins. These eight beings, also. called the Nommo, became the ancestors.

of the Doon people and descended to. Earth in an ark suspended from heaven by. a copper chain. Okay, what was that story about? I think. we're accidentally reading a children's. book, Joe. The Ogo pe what? >> The Doon people. The Ogo and the Pogos. >> Yeah, this is. >> But what do you I think there's a lot of. people that have like weird origin. stories that involve extraterrestrial. life. >> Yeah. I mean, >> there is.

I mean, are you running that through. human evolution? Yes. Because if you run it through human. evolution, extraterrestrial life doesn't not. necessarily match up with like homoctus. and, you know, Neanderthal man and. things like that. >> In what way? Well, I I get the sense. that extraterrestrial life is far more. advanced and technological going back to. what you were talking about at the. bottom of the ocean, whereas our.

ancestors were primal, >> right? >> So, how do the two collide? I'm a bit. confused. >> Well, what if they created us? >> They created us as primates and watched. us evolve as an experiment. >> Yeah. What if you like, let's imagine. this. We talked about like if we if we. showed up and we went found a planet and. it was filled with like ancient primates. like ancient hairy men that had just. figured out the stone tools. >> Okay, let's go to the early days.

>> I'm with you. I'm right there, guy. >> Do you think let's not say American. scientists, we would never do this. But. do you think perhaps like Chinese or. Russian scientists might do some things. with them and try to make them more. advanced. >> in terms of biological experimentation. >> engineering genetic engineering? >> I don't know. I be I mean. >> I will answer for you. Yes. >> You think they would? >> 100% for sure. They're just cave people. They don't even have any civilization.

We let's just do whatever we want to. them because we're far more advanced. Do. you know that there was a point in time. where the Russians were experimenting. with people and trying to make a human. chimpanzeee hybrid for war? >> Is that right? >> Yeah. This is after World War II. >> They were trying to make hybrids. >> So, so many Russians died during World. War II. I mean, Russia lost a lot of. [ __ ] people in World War II. >> And there was a program that like they. do a lot of things where they they just. run it up the chain like what do you. think? What if we do this? What if we do.

that? You know, what if we make a. nuclear bomb? What if we make a a plane. that doesn't have any radar signal? What. if we make instead of our soldiers. dying, what if we make a hybrid just for. war? We know chimpanzees are incredibly. strong and they're smart and they're. very violent. So, what if we made an. incredibly strong, very violent species. that's more intelligent than chimpanzees. and we can control them and we'll use. them as our soldiers? But that seems like a lot of work for.

something that's hiding behind a a. modern weapon. Because whether you have. a an insane chimpanzee behind a machine. gun or a guy that was an accountant and. got drafted, it seems like the weapons. doing the work, not the biological. entity. >> Yeah. But if the chimp's stronger and. faster and they can get to places where. the accountant can't and they can charge. into them in the middle of the night. because they could see at night time, >> there's a lot of things that you could. do with chimps that were hybrids.

>> Yeah. >> Like what did they what was the extent. of that program? >> Let's find out. >> I'm looking it up right now. But he the. guy that did it was also then arrested. I'm trying to figure out well like. >> of course he was arrested [laughter]. >> as a [ __ ] psychopath. >> Well, he was his name Dr. Maro ring a. bell. It says he was funded by Soviet. authorities to set up experiments. I'm. like, well, were these private, you. know, or did official? >> Well, I I would imagine if I was the. leader of Russia at the time and this.

guy said, uh, Mr. Prime Minister, I have. a program I am currently considering in. operation where I will be able to make. soldiers that are increasingly strong, much faster, that retain human. characteristics like the ability to. communicate and to engage in warfare. with weaponry. But they will be much. faster, much stronger, and more. importantly, not people. We won't mourn.

for them like our brothers and sisters. We will breed them in laboratories. We. will make millions of them, arm them, and send them out against our enemies. [snorts]. >> Are you coming on to me. >> a little bit? I got hard talking that. >> So this Wow. >> So. >> he successfully did a bunch of stuff in. the early 1900s. >> What? >> Successfully. >> But not not any human hybrids, other. animals. >> So they say. >> he was a pioneer in artificial. insemination as well. He conducted.

experiments that involved artificially. inseminating horses to create superior. offspring for Imperial Russia. And this. work earned him recognition from the. Boleviks. Ivanov was not satisfied with. merely enhancing a species. Though. hybridization became his obsession, and. he was soon crossing zebras with. donkeys, cows with bison, and several. different species of rodents. >> with each other. In 1910, he brashly. declared he could see a human ape hybrid. in the future. Isn't this gene splicing.

though? Have you ever heard of a liger? >> But ligers are just hybrids. It's just. they breed with each other. A male tiger. and a female lion or the opposite. I. don't forget which one it was. >> But but the problem is the reason why. ligers are so big, it's I think it's the. either the male tiger or the male lion, whichever one it is, the male has the. gene um that regulates size. And when. they have the hybrid, that gene doesn't. doesn't transfer. >> And so the liers just keep growing. [ __ ] gigantic. I might have [ __ ]. that up, but I don't think I did. Even.

off imported chimps to Russia, inseminating unpaid Soviet women with. their sperm. >> Unpaid, >> though none conceive because humans and. chimp chromosomes are incompatible. >> Interesting. >> Imagine you're a [ __ ] Soviet lady and. you're like, "What is this job?" You lie. down with your legs open and we stick. something inside of you and you get a. loaf of bread. [laughter]. >> What the [ __ ] man? They give you the. abominable snowman in your womb. >> How much did they know about genes back.

then? Genes and chromosomes. So, what. year was this? >> 1920ish. >> Did they when did they discover. chromosomes? >> As of yesterday, we just they might not. have even known helium was on Earth, >> right? That's right. That's right. >> Yeah. They thought helium was only in. the sun. Um, wow. When did they discover. chromosomes? Let's find that out. >> Let's take a guess. Haron, >> I'm gonna say I'm gonna say in the.

40s. I'm gonna go a little later. I'm going. to say 50s. >> Okay. >> I'm going to say 57. >> I'm going to say 42. >> I am purely guessing though. I have no. idea. >> Yeah. the. what you mean by that is kind of that's. very vague because like they could have. known about them but like to what detail. and how many there were and what. >> well let's just um just put that in. perspective I did but like it's giving a.

vague answer in the 1800s they sort of. knew about it but to what detail is. until the 1900. >> okay chromosomes were first observed as. distinct structures in the cell nuclei. in the 1800s well that's pretty distinct. they're talking about in the cell. structure so they must have been looking. at them with microscopes. um once good light microscopes became. available. So that's the 1800s. Their. role as carriers of hereditary. information was not clarified until the. early 1900s through work linking. chromosomes to Mandel's law of.

inheritance. >> That's 100 years of guessing. Imagine. what we're guessing about now that we. don't know about. So it could mean any. they could have been completely wrong. for 35 years and then sort of closed for. 10 and. >> wrong again for 20 and then like oh nope. that's what it is. >> Yeah. Wild, right? It's wild how long it. took. >> Well, see, this is. >> in comparison to today. >> This goes back to AI, Joe, giving access. to the average person to be able to dig. into this stuff because it might be the.

guy in aisle 12 at Home Depot who. discovers some of these probing answers, you know? >> Yeah, definitely. That's why he might be. like, >> you know, hitting a bong sitting at home. talking to Chad [snorts] GPT and go, "Bro, >> yeah, >> tell me how to make a human monkey. hybrid.". >> Exactly. >> So this guy, um, so it was in Pull that. >> I was reading about him. This started to. say the American backers started sending. him some money, too. And I was trying, of course, I was trying to figure out. >> they want to get those [ __ ] crazy. chimp people, too. >> Call me crazy, but I get the feeling you.

would like to see one of those. >> 100%. >> Cuz physically it would have to look. incredible. >> It would be insane. Imagine if you get a. like a Viking like a Brock Lesnar gene. and you splice it with a chimpanzeee. gene. >> Yeah. >> You have a giant like Thor from Game of. Thrones the mountain from Game of. Thrones. Imagine that guy splicing that. guy's jeans with a chimpanzeee's jeans. >> Well, you keep going to chimp, but what. about a silverback gorilla, which is. even. >> They're not violent. >> Yeah, they're they're very calm, actually. >> They eat vegetables. They're they're. vegans.

>> Whereas chimps are pack hunters. They. eat other monkeys. >> Mhm. Yeah. They're way more violent. They're way more like us. We're way. closer to chimps than we are to. gorillas. >> Yeah, we are. >> Yeah, we're we're closer in our. behavior. Like they they engage in war. They have tribal war. They go after. tribes. They break off and find they. start new civilizations. >> But if you're splicing two entities. together, you've got the human brain. that's, you know, we're sort of wired to. be violent, but you just take the.

physicality of the silver back and marry. them together. They're they're just as. wired to be violent as we are, buddy. >> What? >> Chimps? >> No, I'm saying the silverback. You then. you have a bigger physical body with our. minds. >> But maybe they'll just chill like the. gorillas do. [laughter]. >> They just go to Miami. >> New delivery of chimps to a nursery in. 1930. But in the light of the. questionable ethics and zero progress, Ianov was arrested and exiled to. Kazakhstan where he died two years. later. Some of the apes and monkeys that. outlived him were launched into space.

with the sputnik missions. You imagine, you imagine you're an ape. First they. make you [ __ ] some lady and then they. shoot you off into space. Well, you were. just eating bananas, having a good time. in the jungle being a regular. chimpanzeee and these [ __ ] or. you [ __ ] some janitor and then shoot you. into space. >> They successfully implanted an ovary in. a few of them. >> Oh god, [ __ ] psychos.

>> Jesus Christ. Yeah, they've done over. the course of history, the Germans, the. Japanese, the Chinese in times of war, they did the most horrific. experimentation. They they did. everything you could do. They they'd see. how long it would take for a human body. to die if you boiled it and skin people. and the the things that have been done, the aberrations that have happened are. crazy. But this is this is interesting. This is almost the basis for a movie, I. think. >> Well, it could absolutely happen today.

This is where it gets weird. >> because now with crisper and with gene. editing, >> how many years are we away from them. being actually able to do that? >> Actually able to take whatever genes you. have in a person, whatever genes you. have in a chimpanzeee, pick which ones, which things you want to do, and make a. life form. >> I like it. >> You know, they have the dire wolves now, right? >> Yeah, the dire wolves. >> I saw them. I went to visit them. >> You did. Are they pure? Are they 100%. pure? Are they are are they a version of.

a modern-day wolf mixed with a dire. wolf? It's a really good question. So, that is the question that people uh. always use to dismiss or that is the. statement that people use to dismiss. what they've done as actually creating. direwolves. But when I talked to the. woman who's the head geneticist, the way. she said is. >> these distinctions. >> like what we call something a direwolf. or we call something a pug or we call. whatever these distinctions are, these. are our creations. >> and that the genetics are the same.

>> Like this animal looks like a direwolf. cuz it is a a direwolf and some of those. genes are in wolves. Some of those genes. are in the biological tissue that they. got from like thousand. Like how old was. the tissue that they got from a direwolf. that they used for colossal? I feel like. some of it was like 10,000 years old. Like something crazy. >> Where did they find that tissue? What. country. >> they find in America? You get it in um. like when they find fossil or they find.

like a dead animal, they find something. that they can get out of it where they. can get some DNA. And they've managed to. get the actual DNA of a direwolf. >> So 13,000 years old, a tooth. >> from Sheridan Pit, Ohio, and a 72,000y. old skull from American Falls, Idaho. >> So wow. >> So they get the genes. They make a map. I'm just I'm butchering this. I'm sorry. if you're a scientist. I'm sorry to all. the people at Colossal. You make a map. of what it means to be a direwolf based. on this stuff because you have these.

samples. And then you choose those. genes. You add those genes to a greywolf. and then you turn it into a [ __ ]. direwolf and they're all white and they. have a mane like a lion which they. didn't know they were going to have. Like not as big as a lion but it's it's. a pronounced mane. >> Huh. >> And they look different, man. They're. weird. >> Are they bigger in size? Cuz they were. semi-prehistoric. >> They're bigger. They're just a It's a. big. >> bigger than a timber wolf. >> Yes. >> Wow. >> Yeah. They're like a 200lb wolf and. they're built different. They're built. different. Like they're they're more.

stocky and they look different. What's. their jaw structure like? Is it. different? >> Bigger. Bigger. Stronger. They're there. It's a bigger, more ferocious animal. that lived at a time where it was. >> What does the term dire mean? Do we. know? Dire wolf. >> That's a good question. >> What is dire? >> Let's find out why they call them dire. wolves. I have no idea. It just sounds. dope. >> I wonder if they ever get sick if they. become diarrhea wolves. >> Is that where you go with that? >> No, I really do want to know. That just. came to me. That just came to me. [laughter].

But I do want to know where dire comes. from. What it means. >> Fearful or terrible. The Latin words. dyrus meaning feel fearful or terrible. or awe inspiringly dreadful. Bro, back. then when those things were around and. people were around at the same time, you. imagine how [ __ ] rough it would be. You're in the woods and you're camping. out with your buddy and you see a pack. of direwolves that have recognized you. and you know it's over. >> Well, the thing with wolves though, Joe, and you probably know this, wolves. traditionally don't hunt down humans. >> That's not true. >> Huh? That's not true at all.

>> I don't know. Is there any record of a. human being killed by a wolf? >> 100%. There's record in modern times. Oh, that's not true. They That's the. reason why they eradicated him from the. West Coast. >> I thought that was because they were. they were nabbing the cattle. >> No, they were killing people, too. That's what the big bad wolf and the. little red body hood is all about. They. would kill your kids. That's those. stories were about avoiding wolves. because wolves were dangerous. They're. deadly. Do you know that World War I the. Russians and the Germans had a ceasefire. because so many of them were getting.

killed by wolves in Siberia really that. they decided to have a ceasefire, kill. the wolves and then go back to killing. each other. >> Cuz my experience is wolves are very. trepidacious of humans. They fear them. and and avoid them. >> cuz we killed most of them. >> But that wouldn't change their hunting. instinct now if there were still packs. roaming wild and free. You don't kill. the instinct out of them. >> cuz then you'd kill their instinct to. kill an elk. Or. >> if you've seen wolves, you've seen. wolves in Canada. >> Yeah.

>> They hunt them in Canada. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's why they're trepidacious. That's why they're nervous about people. >> Can we look up how many humans have been. killed by wolves? >> Very rare. Mostly happened in Europe and. Asia. >> Yeah. See, it's not common. >> It's because we killed them all, Harland. They're not around anymore. That's the whole point. The reason why. they got killed off was because they. were a [ __ ] problem. It's not. because, you know, people were evil and. it was a terrible idea. It's because. they wanted to live and they knew that. the wolves were [ __ ] killing. everybody.

>> I think the problem was they were. killing their domestic cattle. >> 100%. >> But not the people so much. >> People too. >> Really? >> Yeah. They kill They don't have rules, man. They But they're also Think of it. Every living species. Why is it I can go. to a park and a blue jay and a squirrel. and a deer and a bunny can be just fine, completely different species, but then a. little boy walks up a human and they all. just go. There's this driven instinct in.

all animals to fear us, which breaks my. heart because most of us are loving and. want to coddle and connect with animals, but even insects, dragon flies, hummingbirds, nothing wants to be near. us. And so wolves also, all animals are. trepidacious of humans. It's sad, but. it's true. And if that's part of the. bigger program we've been talking about, what does it say about us? >> First of all, animals are not. trepidacious of humans. >> Have you ever walked up to a wild. animal?

>> I've walked up to a lot of wild animals. >> I know that you're being silly, but. >> I'm not being silly. >> Okay, so realistically, all those. animals you said, blue jay, deer, those. are all animals that eat plants. Okay. If a dog showed up, they would run. Any. animal that's a pri that's that's a. predator is going to scare them. Whether. it's a human, we have eyes in front of. our face. The reason why you have eyes. in front of your face like that is cuz. you're looking to go after something. When you have eyes on the side of your. face, you're looking for something to go. after you. So all those animals like. deer and all these little cute little.

animals, they're all prey and they're. all like super sketchy with anything. that has eyes in front of its face, it's. looking at them cuz we are a [ __ ]. predator. But it would be the same if it. was a coyote there. It would be the same. if a dog was there. If a cat or a big. cat or a lion was there, if they saw it, they would all freak out because they're. prey. >> Now, wolves have killed people. Fact, 100% all throughout time. If they catch. you alone, >> they catch you in the woods. And if it's.

you and five of them, they will kill. you. It's it's it's we're not on their. dietary list though. Look at killer. whales. Never been a human killed by a. killer whale. >> Only at SeaWorld, >> right? >> Because they Well, that's different. >> So why? That's a living mammal. And. there's millions of people in the ocean. every day. But there's no record of an. orca killing a human because they're. trepidacious of us. >> No, they're super intelligent. >> And wolves and coyotes.

>> They're not trepidacious of us. They. help us. They communicate with play with. you. >> I know, but I'm just saying it's not. common for wolves and apex predators to. go after humans. It happens, but it's. not common. And wolves, they're very. skittish animals. Okay? They're skittish if they're around. people and they think the people might. have a gun. If you're in the woods, wolves are not skittish of you. They're. thinking about what they're going to do. to you and whether or not they're going. to eat you. If you have a rifle and.

you're in the woods and they hear the. boom go off, they're gonna get the [ __ ]. away from you. >> They don't know what a rifle is. I'm. just saying there's an extin an. instinctual. fear of humans for whatever reason. >> Dude, it's not true. >> Most critters avoid us. Even fish, if. you avoid all pre predators. All of. them. >> Yeah, but look at the plains of Africa. You'll see a wilderbeast and a zebra. >> If you walked out in the wild of Africa, >> you're done. Yeah.

>> Yeah. Because you have lions, leopards, your prey there. Yeah. All those animals. are freaking out too until one gets. taken out. This is the Joseph Campbell. story of the hero. Like one gets taken. out and the other one's go, "Wow, he did. it for us." Because when the the lions. are eating that one antelope, they're. going to leave you alone. You could. relax for a little bit. >> Yeah, >> that's what it is. >> I'm just saying. >> they're never calm around lions. They. run. That's why they run, >> right? But I'm just saying wolves are. probably more inclined to step around us.

than attack us. >> They are more inclined to do whatever. they need to do to survive. >> They will. They're opportunists. >> And if it's attacking your sheep, then. they'll attack your sheep. If it's. killing your dog, they'll kill your dog. If it's killing you, if you're 20 miles. into the back country and you're camping. alone and you don't have a weapon and a. pack of wolves shows up and they haven't. had anything to eat for a few days, >> they'll take you down. They'll take you. down. >> But I'm just saying I'm I'm I'm just. trying to instill into you with all this.

programming talk, there's something. programmed into all the other species on. this planet. They go, "Whoa, there's a. [ __ ] human.". >> You're wrong. >> And they step around us a lot. Not that. they won't kill us, but. >> they It's anything that's coming near. them, they get away from. >> The reason why they're scared of people. is cuz they have experience with people. >> That's what it is. Yes, wolves do. Wolves in Canada that get shot at are. afraid of people. They know that people. have the guns. The guns make the boom.

They're smart. They a bunch of them die. They see one of them die. They learn. that they see the gun. They see the. stick. They run away from the guys. So, they stay away from people cuz people. might kill their family members, their. pack members. It happens. >> I think we're on this one. >> No. Listen, there's a difference between. the way bears react in say Alaska than. bears react in Montana. So in Montana, you can't hunt grizzly bears. So grizzly. bears are not afraid of people because. generation after generation after. generation have not been hunted. When.

when bears see you in Alaska, that's. generation after generation that have. been hunted and they react very. differently. They're like, "Get the [ __ ]. away from the people.". >> Right. But. >> unless they don't know you have a gun. and sometimes you have to scare them. off. But if they're used to being around. people with guns, they associate people. with danger. >> Yeah. That's kind of Pavlovian though. That's when they're not. When they're. not like in Montana, >> but in raw wild, >> bears are quite skittish. >> I've been around them. >> I have too, man. It depends on the bear. It depends on whether it's a mother with.

her cubs. They're not skittish. >> They're not skittish. >> They [ __ ] you up. >> They're they're protective. They're. They're no longer hunting. But I'm just. saying that there's an element to sadly. our human existence that scares a lot of. critters. A most animals can exist. together in the same area. And yeah, when a when an apex predator approaches, the zebras will run. But if you look at. the hoofed animals and the hippos and.

the everything kind of coexists, but. when a human walks in, you know, we. can't walk up to critters and just pet. them. You can in the Gapagos. >> Okay. >> Are we? >> No. >> Are we having a fight? No, but a lion. can't walk up to a desert and pet my. legs around you so fast. >> It's not uniquely humans, man. It's all. animals are worried about something that. wants to eat them because that's a real. part of their existence. It's all. animals. If you let your dog loose and.

you let it around wild animals, they. [ __ ] run like crazy, man. They run. way more than they do with a person. >> Let me rephrase it. If a wild animal. comes up on a deer, a predator prey. scenario, >> uh, >> instinctually they know a predator goes. into stalking mode, the deer's gone, >> right? >> But if a human, me or you, go, "Oh, look. at the deer and we try to walk towards. it with nothing but love and affection. and we just want to pet it and it's.

gone." And that's what I'm saying. >> You're not saying [ __ ] because a dog, the same thing would happen. You're not. making any sense. >> Yes, >> of course the deer doesn't want you to. pet them. It doesn't [ __ ] know you, man. What are you nuts? >> Right. But it they just they just flee. >> They don't flee like they do with dogs. A. >> squirrel. >> I have I have deer in my neighborhood. and when they see me, they don't give a. [ __ ] They don't care about your car. You're you're driving in a car. You. could stop the car and roll the window. down and go, "Hello, Mr. Deer." And they. just [ __ ] stare at you. Animals are.

like that. >> They saw a dog, they would [ __ ] run. They run like crazy. Even my golden. retriever, my sweet golden retriever. marshall. >> Yeah. >> They run like crazy from him. They blow. They make those crazy noise. >> They [ __ ] take off. >> They stamp their feet. >> Yeah. They're scared of predators, dude. They're not scared of people in my. neighborhood cuz no one's eating them in. my neighborhood. It's their. conditioning. >> I don't know. I'm just talking. >> You're just stick You're stuck on an. idea. [laughter] The people are bad. The. people are uniquely bad. I wish we could.

just go hug the porcupine. >> I'm not saying people are bad. I'm. saying that animals have something in. their brain that they don't trust us. >> cuz we're the apex. We're the top of the. food chain. >> But it's it's it's just sad that. >> it's not it's way better than being at. the bottom of the food chain. Way better. than us like [ __ ] wandering through. the woods if your kids are going to get. eaten by a [ __ ] wolf cuz some greeny. [ __ ] decided to import them back into. the wild. We need to rewolves. are back in the wild. >> You know, they just dropped him off in. Aspen. These dumb [ __ ] They.

dropped him off on a cattle ranch and. all they're doing is eating cows. So now. they have to have cowboys 24/7 riding. horses because the governor's husband. thought it would be a cute idea to drop. off wolves in Colorado. And they. reintroduced him to an area that has. agriculture. They reintroduced him to. ranching areas. >> Wow. You don't. >> [ __ ] wolves. They've killed who knows. how many cows. The government has to. reimburse them every time a cow dies. They keep killing cows. They're not. allowed to kill the wolves. The wolves. are around them 24 hours a day just.

circling. [laughter]. >> So they have cowboys on horses all. throughout the night. They've got fires. They have to keep people employed. >> But outside of the cattle poaching. critters. Are you for reintroducing and. repopulating areas of the. >> First of all, wolves were making their. way into Colorado naturally. They're. already in the San Juan Mountains. They're they're moving in from Wyoming. where they live naturally. And when they. reintroduced him into Montana, those. have spread out all over the place.

There's plenty of [ __ ] wolves, man. There's a lot of wolves in Montana, too. >> You don't like wolves. >> I don't think you want wolves. I don't. think you understand what you're saying. You You You're talking about a pack. predator. It's very different than any. other predator. They work together in. coordination and they're smart. And if. once they It's not like a mountain lion. It's not like a thing that acts alone. Once they figure out that the cows are. in these wooden pens, and they could. just hop the pen, kill a cow, and that's. it, they're going to do it forever,

>> right? But take out the poaching wolves, but the ones that are reintroduced and. assimilate in raw nature, >> I think those are crucial and important. to that ecosystem. >> It is crucial to have balance. And. there's there's some aspects of having. the wolves back in Montana that's. actually better for the elk population. It is. >> cuz the elk population was very overpop. populated at one point in time. They had. um seasons where they were allowing. people to shoot them in the snow um in. the winter. So like there was so many of.

them when they're in the snow like deep. snow they can't run. So you basically. >> wolves. >> no. >> the elk. >> elk because before they reintroduced the. wolves they had so many elk that these. elks were running out of resources. Yeah. >> And they they realized like they're so. overpop populated. We're gonna allow you. to shoot them in ways that's not even. remotely sporting. Yeah. They're stuck. in snow. >> called culling. >> Yeah. Just taking as many out of the. population as you can. Yeah. And look, for the people that live there, it's. amazing. You're eating elk.

>> 12 months out of the year. You got a. freezer. It's [ __ ] delicious. How. dare you? No, I mean if you eat it all. the time. >> But don't forget the wolves also. preserve the whole ecosystem because the. overpopulation of elks were eating so. much of the flora that the sides of. river banks were eroding. >> You're you're quoting a a documentary. called How Wolves Changed Rivers, right? >> Yeah. Widely disputed. So a lot of the. stuff they're saying is not accurate in.

that documentary. that what is accurate. is that balance is important. But a lot. of the things are very overstated in. that and it turns out to not be true. >> Not no a lot of the claims are not true. >> because. >> interesting. >> there you can have a pro and the pro is. it keeps the population in check and it. puts a natural balance to to the area. That's the pro. >> Yeah. >> This whole changing rivers thing like. >> some of it's accurate, some of it's not. Yeah. But there's it's the apparently.

that documentary was made by a guy who's. into rewing and he also wants to rew. Europe. So like these it's very romantic. this idea. >> Okay. >> But there is positive to having a. balanced ecosystem. >> There is not positive when wolves get. overpopulated. When wolves get overpop. populated, that's what you get when you. had Russia and Germany having a [ __ ]. ceasefire in World War I. Because they. were losing so many soldiers to wolves. They all united together to kill the. wolves. That's a true story.

>> But do you ever live in a world where. you go, >> "The wolves are part of the natural. world the same way the bison were on the. Great Plains before they eradicated. them.". >> You don't have kids. >> No. >> Okay. Imagine if you had kids and you were. walking with your kids and you saw three. wolves following you. >> Yeah. >> And you didn't have a gun. How would you. feel about those wolves when you. thought, "Oh my god, we might get taken. out by wolves." And I just thought they. were these cute fuzzy things that were a. part of nature.

>> Oh, I don't think of them as wilderness. >> I don't think of them as that. They're. >> amazing. We need that. >> I worked in nature. I've been around. wolves. I know them. >> I am on team people. >> You are. >> 100%. 100% team people. I love all. animals. I love them all, but I love. people way more. If it was between a. person that I [ __ ] hate that it feels. a real piece of [ __ ] and I knew that. they're going to get taken out by a. wolf, but I had a rifle, I'd kill the. [ __ ] wolf 100% of the time cuz I'm on.

team people. >> This whole idea like the animals are. scared of us. Good. Be scared, [ __ ] It. doesn't mean you should do anything bad. to those animals, but good, good, be. scared. >> But Joe is trying to eat my kids. Isn't. it team people that's eradicating all. the animals as we encroach deeper and. deeper into the Amazon jungle, the. African plains? We're losing. Look at. the American bison. There used to be. millions of them hurt hering across the. prairies and now there's isolated.

pockets. Look at the elephant herds. Look at look at the silverback gorilla. Look at there's so many things that are. losing to team people that we might not. have Siberian tigers in 30 years. >> I'm not saying you should go and kill. these endangered animals. >> I don't say that. >> We're not always. That's not true. First. of all, the bison thing was not because. of encroaching. The bison thing was. because of sport hunting where these. people were like they were doing it not.

even sport hunting, >> market hunting. They were doing it for. tongues. >> Do you know that's what they were. getting? They were chopping out their. tongues. All that delicious bison meat, they let it rot. And then they were. doing it for furs and then they were. doing it for bones. Like what this is is. like people [snorts] were [ __ ]. insane. And rifles were fairly new and. long range rifles are fairly new in. human history. And then all a sudden you. got people on trains and you've got. these insane. Now here's where it gets. really weird. >> Um what's Dan's Dan Flores? There's a.

guy named Dan Flores who wrote a book on. bison and he has a theory. It's a really. good one. Yeah. That the reason why. there were so many bison on the planes. was because of all the Native Americans. that got wiped out by disease. >> And it totally coincides with it because. the original explorers that came to. America in like the 1400s, they did not. describe these enormous population of. bison where you would see millions of. them on a prairie. He thinks that that.

came about because literally when the. Europeans visited Native America, the. Native Americans, 90% of the Native. Americans died because of disease, >> right? >> 90%. >> I mean, a true apocalypse. >> Imagine nine out of 10 Native Americans. dead. Yeah. >> Because of disease. Well, that means no. one's hunting the bison, >> right? But they. >> So, that was their that was a primary. food source for a lot of the Native. Americans. And it wouldn't take many. generations for them if that was the.

thing that was keeping them in. population. If they have a balanced. ecosystem and the population was. literally being controlled by these. effective North American hunters. >> Yeah. >> And all of a sudden they're gone. The. population just booms. And that's what. he was saying. >> And then along comes the people with the. rifles. And then the people with the. rifles, they're finding these sitting. ducks just sitting out there. And they. say, "There's so many of them. We could. just shoot as many as we want. We never. have to worry about it." And they're. shooting him for tongues. >> Yeah.

>> Tongues. >> Have you ever heard of Buffalo Head. Smashed In? >> Buffalo Head Smashed In. >> Yeah. >> What's that? >> It's a town in Alberta. >> That's the real name of the town. It's. the real name of the town where on the. planes there there was an optical. illusion where it looked like the the. hills just kept going. but there was a cliff and the Indians. would chase the bison. >> along the plains and they didn't know it.

and at the end they'd they'd all run. over the thing and the Indians would be. waiting at the bottom and kill the bison. but they named the place. >> Buffalo Head smashed in. >> Oh wow. Look at this. Isn't that wild? >> Wow. >> So, the bison thought they're running on. a flat plane and they couldn't see the. change in the perspective, so they'd run. right over the edge. >> They did that a bunch of places in North. American. >> In North America, they did um there's. one of them where they killed so many.

bison that the rotting of them caused. them to burst into flames. >> Yeah. >> And so, >> you know about that one? >> Yeah. That's like with whales when they. blow up. Yeah. They explode. >> The whole side of the hill is like black. with coal. >> Oh yeah. >> Because they they popped that. >> the imagine the [ __ ] smell of. something where it gets so bad they. burst into flames. >> Bro, [laughter] what the [ __ ]. >> Instant Texas barbecue. >> So they the Native Americans when they. were really good at hunting doing stuff.

like that. I mean they're feasting. They're eating the best meat and they're. keeping the population in check. Now, when they all died of disease, that. population stopped being in check. And. this is Dan Flores. I think it's called, see if you could find the name of it, Jamie. I think it's called bison. diplomacy. Bison ecology. I think that's. what it's called. >> Nature also provides disease when there. is no humans around. Okay. Like long. before the Indians started hunting. buffalo, there were buffalo. >> Yeah. Bison ecology and bison diplomacy.

It's a very interesting paper. He was a. professor of history at Texas Tech. Um, very very good book and and he's got. another great book on coyotes. Coyote. America's fantast. >> I think it's more. So, at what point are.

you still a fan of team human when more. and more of team animal is being. eradicated? And I'm not trying to say we. should. >> what animals what animals are being. eradicated right now. >> Well, I just explained how the the herds. of elephants have shrunk down to this. Tigers are down to a few thousand. >> And a lot of. >> silverback gorillas are down to like a. few hundred. Like. >> a lot Okay. A lot of that is not. encroaching. It's illegal poaching. But it's also encroaching. We're using.

up their land. >> some of it. But also it's like what do. you want those people to do? Like people. in India like where they have in. elephants just invade their farms and. eat all their food. >> But that's what I'm saying. How long are. you a proponent of team humans? >> Villages for hundreds and hundreds of. years. >> But animals have been for millions. >> I'm on team people. If if it's your. family that needs that farm to stay. alive and all a sudden a [ __ ] pack of. elephants comes in and eats all the food. that you've been working for a year to. plant and grow. What do you think? We. should just feed the elephants.

>> I just want to know where you stand. I'd. rather see the animals succeed than us. if I'm being honest. I love people. >> But that is a ridiculous. >> That's a ridiculous thing to say. It. doesn't mean the animals It doesn't mean. the animals are going to go extinct. >> Parasite on the back of Eden. Don't you. think humans are a parasite on the back. of this beautiful paradise? >> No. >> No animal dumps nuclear waste or. chemicals into rivers. No animal tears.

down forests except for beavers. So what. makes team human so great? >> Well, we definitely should. >> I think you need to change your. attitude. >> We definely shouldn't do those things. But I am but I am a human and I like. humans. I like. and the only way that you're going to. have humans is if you stay on team human. and not say I'd rather have the animals. here. They're just going to eat you. They're going to eat you and there'll be. no more houses. >> Press a button and get rid of humans. with a press of a button and that.

everything else could just live here. harmoniously. Would you do it? >> What? Do you live in a [ __ ] Disney. movie? >> I'm just asking. >> No. No. No chance. >> I live in a simulation of a Disney. movie. >> Bro, you live in some [ __ ] Canadian. reality show. He's taking another drink. of coffee. >> Son of a [ __ ]. >> You southfly over this table with my. rotten legs. >> You're [ __ ] team Canada. I know what. you're doing. You're trying to ruin. America by bringing in wolves. That's. what you're doing. It's like a plant. He's a plant. >> I'm asking you to ruin America by.

bringing in lions. >> You think humans are a parasite on the. planet? >> I think we are a very complicated, intelligent life force that values. itself above all else to the detriment. of the ecology of the earth itself. So. therefore, we could do better. We don't. all do that, right? We're not Every. company is not dumping things into. rivers. >> If you had a cancer on your body, would. you get rid of the cancer? >> We're not a cancer, dude. We're a part. of the Earth. We are the predominant. intelligent life force on this earth. >> Who predominantly destroys the Earth?

>> Us. >> Cancer. >> We're not destroying it, though. We just. do a bad job of keeping it clean. >> That's a fancy way of saying destroying. Well, most animals ship all over the. ground. They just don't. >> hit the button. >> You're funny. >> Come on. You want to do it together? >> You should have kids. >> I love kids. I love humans. I just wish. we could do better. >> How old are you now? >> Take a guess. Take a guess. You saw my. legs. Take a guess. I'll tell you.

>> No, I'll tell you. >> Well, I've known you for 30 years. >> Yeah. >> So, you're at least that. >> How old? [laughter] You got to be 50. something. >> 60 I'll be 64 this year. >> Really? Yeah. >> Wow. >> Yeah. But I love humans. But I also. >> If you had a kid now, it might be a. problem. You might have bad jizz. >> Really? >> Yeah. You might have old jizz. >> Have you seen my legs? >> I've seen the legs look good. >> What do you mean bad jizz? You don't. Aluccino just had a kid and he's 400.

>> Give that kid an IQ test. >> Really? Is he a detoid? >> I don't know. He's a baby. Maybe her. strong jeans because she's only 12. The. girl No. [laughter]. How old is. No, she's just 30. Whatever. She is 30. years old. [laughter]. Had a kid with him. 58. >> Oh, wow. >> Yeah. >> We look pretty good with your chest and. my legs. We're doing all right. >> Right. >> Do you Did you ever want to have kids at. one point?

>> Yeah. I you know I I thought that uh at. one point I would I thought that at one. point I might but it just didn't work. out that way. I was I was married at one. point and. >> is it it's like it's hard when you're. doing the road a lot. It's hard. >> Yeah, it is if you make it hard but I. never did the road a lot. I always mixed. it so that I that I enjoyed my life and. traveled and did stuff. So. >> that's smart. >> Yeah, >> that's smart. >> But it it just it it didn't work out and. who knows the the road ain't closed yet.

So, who knows? >> Get your jizz checked. Make sure it's. good. >> Yeah. Oh, it's fine. >> Throw it into a spectrometer. >> Oh my god. I just told you I was on Only. Fans for 2 hours. >> Analyze the jizz. Make sure it's good. stuff. >> Wait, can sperm actually go bad? Well, um, when it comes to autism, there's, uh, and and maybe even Down syndrome, there's some there's some people that. believe that the older the parents are, and they used to think it was just the. older the woman was that might. contribute to those things, and now they.

think it it is also likely the father. They're also realizing like a lot of um, they were there was this thing that I. was reading about miscarriages from. parents where the father drinks. And I. was like, "Wow, that's interesting.". Because I never really thought that the. father being a drunk would affect the. sperm, but of course it would. >> Yeah, >> of course it would. Yeah. >> And weed too. They used to say weed. affected the sperm, but I don't know if. that's. >> Well, they used to say it slows it down. or something like that. >> I [laughter] don't know. >> Aderall speed it up.

>> I don't know. Zic, you give birth to a. zombie. >> You give birth to a [ __ ] jazzed up. aderall kid. Dad, I want to [ __ ]. clean this house. Wait, do you have any. boys or is it all girls? >> It's all girls. >> Do you wish you had had a boy? >> I just want them to be healthy. I think. wishing that you had a boy or a girl. It's like the universe will give you. what it gives you. >> Yeah, that's good. >> Yeah. You don't want to like You don't. want to wish you had a boy when you had. a girl. Just appreciate the fact that. you have a. >> No, I don't I don't mean eliminate the. girls. God bless the three girls, but if.

if you had one more, would it be cool to. have a boy? >> I'm very happy. I don't think about it. that way. I don't think about it that. way. >> You're a good dad. >> Thank you. That's something I picked up on you. today. >> I think uh everybody should try. >> Yeah. >> If you're a dad, you got one shot at. this. One of the things that's really. nice for me is that I don't have to. travel as much because I have the club. here. >> Yeah. >> You know, >> when they were young, I had to travel a. lot when they were really young cuz it's. like I wasn't making as much money and. it was like a little bit more difficult.

>> and having uh the club where I don't. have to do standup somewhere else. I. don't have to go on the road all the. time. So, I'm only going on the road. occasionally for like the UFC and. >> Yeah. And you don't need to either. >> Yeah. Just having fun. >> So, you you done good, guy. >> You too, buddy. It's nice to see Kill. Turney like make a completely different. career arc for all these people. >> And you're one of them, you know? >> It's It's. >> It's [ __ ] taking you to the. stratosphere. It's wild to watch. >> It's sort of it's it's it's shone a new. light on my career. Yeah. It's sort of.

revitalized it a bit. Yeah. you uh Rob. Schneider, Keratop, I mean there's you. the list goes on and on. There's Kyle. Dunigan. There's so many people that it. just [ __ ] launched them. >> So cool. When Tony asked me to do it. >> uh two years ago, I'll be honest, I. didn't even know what it was. >> That's hilarious. >> I didn't know who Tony was. I'd never. met him. I knew nothing about it. I was. doing your club and they said, "Hey, we're shooting tomorrow. Would you want.

to stay an extra day?" And I said, "For. what?" They go, "Kill Tony." I said, "What is it?" And I went on I had no. clue. I had no idea what it was. >> Are you not online at all? >> No, I didn't I didn't know anything. about that stuff. >> How do you stay offline? >> Well, I go online now cuz I started a. podcast. I'm trying to emulate you. But. you've been an inspiration. Thank you, by the way. But I didn't know about all. that stuff. And so they asked me to go. on and I did my first set with Tony and. I think you watched it. It was the one. where I had the checkbook [laughter].

>> and then and then Tony when we when they. finished the show he goes, "Oh, you're. going to be guest of the year." I go, "What are you talking about?" And then I. was guest of the year and then it just. sort of all this stuff. And now I'm. about to shoot a movie with Tony as my. star. I'm going to direct a movie with. >> Was it Madison Square Garden where you. were pulling the things out of your. pants? >> Yeah, the limes. [laughter]. I said I had Lyme disease and I pulled. the limes out. Yeah. >> What? You pull a trophy out of your. pants? >> Yeah. Oscar. That's when [laughter] I.

won guest of the year. I love to pull. stuff out of my pants, apparently. >> What is the movie you and Tony are. doing? >> So, uh, my next movie that I'm writing. and directing is called Rednecks. And we're going to, uh, shoot in. September, October with Tony is the. Star. And I don't know if you do any. acting anymore, but I want to offer you. a part. I don't know if you're. interested. >> Yeah. You don't like it. >> anymore? No. >> You got no interest anymore. Maybe if I. could kill it for a day. Just run in and. do it in a day. >> Really?

>> Yeah. Something easy. >> Be fun to have you. >> Where are you going to film it? >> We're going to shoot in uh Florida and. Kentucky. >> Jesus. >> What if I got you for three days? Would. you. >> do? >> We'll talk. Let's talk afterwards. >> Okay. >> I really don't like acting. >> I know. >> I don't have any time either. That's. also part of the problem. >> Like time is uh my time is rationed. >> I get it. >> Yeah. Do you still have the passion to. act at all or No, as a Yeah, >> I never really had it in the beginning. >> Yeah. >> I only did it for money.

>> Yeah. >> Like, uh, I loved standup and I loved, you know, going to clubs and doing and. then I got a development deal. It was. that simple. >> And then all a sudden I'm on TV. I'm. like, "All right.". >> But it was good that I never had a dream. for it because then it I didn't have a. lot of anxiety about it. >> Yeah. >> You know, it was more like it was fun to. do. >> Yeah. Me, too. >> Because I was always like, I'm just. going to go do standup like this. >> Yeah. I was the same way. >> Yeah. It's better that way because the. people that like where it's their, "Oh. my god, it's happening." It's like so. overwhelming for them. Like I see people.

have anxiety when they're about to do. their scenes and I was like, "Jesus, man, [laughter]. >> chill out.". >> Well, we we're so used to performing in. front of audiences. Yeah. >> That for some people the the moment like. for young actors, the moment when it's. like action and you walk in and then you. see that crowd, it it's overwhelming for. some people. >> Yeah, it is. It's very hard for them to. find that comfort level that allows them. to perform at the level that they know. they can. Like they they might be really. good actors, but the feeling is so.

overwhelming that they can't find the. rhythm. >> You know what the opposite of that was. for me? And I don't know if you had this. experience. We were used to performing. in front of live audiences doing standup. where they're like reacting immediately. We do a joke, they laugh. But now when. you're doing a movie or TV, suddenly. you're in front of an audience who are. cameramen and directors and make and. they just stand there. They don't laugh. >> And that became like the opposite of.

what we do. So when I first started. doing TV and movies, I'd get anxiety. because it's like, well, they're not. laughing. They're not reacting. They're. just standing there. It was all these. technical people. And that freaked me. out a little bit. But I had to overcome. that. >> Yeah, that is weird. If you think it's. really funny and then you're saying it. and no one's. >> laugh cuz they're just making a movie, >> right? Cuz it's not like the cameras are. there by themselves. There's people. behind the cameras and you're doing it. for. >> a crew like 50 people would be standing.

there while you're doing a scene. >> with a cigarette in their hand, drinking. coffee, shaking their head, >> checking notes. And did that throw you. when you first started? >> Well, news radio luckily was in front of. an audience. >> Yeah, that's true. So when you. >> but they were between the audience and. and you was all those people I was and. cameras. >> Yeah. But the people laughed at all the. jokes if they were good, you know, if. they were good jokes. But so that that. was to me was like a different way of. delivering jokes, >> you know. It was it was still it was.

fun. It was I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the. sitcom, but the only way to do it right. is to have really good writers. >> And that's hard to find, man. Like news. radio had that and really good. performers. >> But if you're on a bad one, you're in. hell. You're in hell and you're just. collecting checks. >> Yeah. >> And you just check though. >> Good check. That's the problem. >> Yeah. >> That's the problem. The Velvet Prison. >> Yeah. >> Those are the guys that wind up doing. drugs. >> The guys that are on a show that they. hate. >> Yeah. >> They Yeah. You go straight two and a.

half men. [ __ ] Charlie Shane in it. >> It's part of it. Part of it is just like. you're in that lifestyle anyway, but. part of it is also like I don't want to. do this, >> you know? >> Yeah, I experienced that. >> I don't want to do a sitcom. I'm bored. I'm bored with these lame punchlines and. next thing you know, you're smoking. crack and. >> running from the cops. >> You know what I realized too is with. these sitcoms, it's they all keep borrowing the same. premise. Like I did three different.

sitcoms and it's like, "Oh, now we're. doing the episode where uh the lead guy. is somehow dating an SNM queen and now. we're doing the episode where uh Jim. gets his car stolen." Like, you start to. realize like there's about 40 different. episodes, but they all just insert them. and sort of change them a little and. it's it's really very weird. It's like a. recipe. >> So many premises, right? >> Yeah. Right. >> Yeah. It's Well, that's just the.

uncreative ones. I mean, that's why Curb. Your Enthusiasm was so amazing, >> right? They didn't repeat any premises. That That show was [ __ ] incredibly. creative and and bizarre and no. audience. >> That's right. >> Another one. No audience. >> Yeah. >> But the ones the ones that that were. fresh were the ones that didn't. It was. more like the traditional sitcoms that. just plugged in the premises and it was. like. >> it's like, "Oh my god, I've already done. this." There's but there's something to. that form where it's done when it's done. really well. It is very enjoyable. It's. very comforting. Like I I always thought.

like I saw clips of the Big Bang. I. never watched The Big Bang. >> until I started watching it with my kids. and I'm like this is a [ __ ] very. funny show. It's like a really good show. with like very defined characters. It's. really well made. >> And I had this u prejudice of it I think. cuz I had seen some clips where they. were doing like retakes and there's no. audience. So they're saying the jokes. with no laughs behind them. It just. seems kind of lame. But everything seems. lame like that. Like retakes of News. Radio seemed lame, too, while we were.

doing them. >> Yeah. >> But when I watched the show, I was like, there's something comforting about this. kind of a show. And I wish they still. did them. They don't do them anymore. >> They're dead. They're dying. >> Miss Pat is the only one that I know of. that has uh an actual sitcom right now. >> Like a three cam. >> Mhm. She's got a live audience sitcom. >> Wow. Yeah. I don't think anybody else. does. Or if they do, I don't know about. it. They used to be [ __ ] come as. [ __ ] man. >> Yeah, that was that was the goal. That. was the dream to go get a sitcom. >> But isn't it weird that we still enjoy.

them? >> Yeah. >> But yet no one makes them anymore. >> Yeah. I think they've been knocked out. of contention because they're so um set. up whereas we live in this world now. where people just scroll real life. >> But why? Because dramas are still on TV. There's still a million NCSI, whatever. the [ __ ] those shows are. You know what. I mean? There's a million of those. shows. >> That's the Hulk. >> Law and Order, Special Victims Unit, there's a million of those shows. >> So those kinds of same premise shows of.

cops and lawyers and all that [ __ ]. those still exist. The medical examiner. shows, the forensic examiner show, those. shows exist. So, how come all these, you. know, there's a resurgence of rancher. shows now? Everyone's a rancher, right? This 15 rancher shows now. So, those. shows exist, but no sitcoms. >> As the Incredible Hunk Hulk once said, me not know why. >> I think it's a giant mistake cuz I think.

you could make a sitcom right now, whether Paramount Plus does it or one of. those organizations that streams, you. could make a great [ __ ] multicam. sitcom right now. >> Yeah. I I I don't even turn on the TV. anymore, though. I think people are. being weaned right off of television. We're in a transitional phase. I think. >> Dude, I rarely ever I when I used to go. on the road, I would check into a hotel. and turn on the TV right away. I don't. think I've turned on a hotel TV in about.

six years. >> really. >> I don't even turn it on. When I go home, I watch my TV maybe once a month, if. that. I don't even look at it anymore. >> So, do you look at your phone? >> I look at my phone. >> That's it. >> That's it. It's bizarre. I'm even. weirded out by it. It's like, what am I. doing? >> You never sit down and watch a movie. >> Rarely. It's very rare. >> Should do that. Should watch a movie. >> I know. >> They're very entertaining. >> People should watch my new movie. Can I. say something about it?

>> You don't watch movies and you make. them? >> Yeah. You know how [ __ ] crazy that. is? >> Yeah. >> What's wrong with you? >> I'm crazy. I'm crazy. All right. >> What is your new movie? >> Do you mind me talking about it? >> Please do. >> Are you sure? >> 100%. >> I wrote, directed, and starred in a new. movie that just came out a few days ago. called Wingman, and it's on streamers Apple TV, and it's. on Prime Prime Video. And I play a crazy wingman that helps.

people get laid. >> Nice. >> Yeah. And it's with Jamie Kennedy, Russell Peters, Kayla Wallace, Evan. Marsh. >> Oh, nice. >> Shiva Nagar, and uh. >> Did you make this yourself? >> Well, we made it with a with a studio. Stardust Pictures up in Canada with. David Lipper and Justin Lavine. And uh. it's a full-on full-on movie we we shot. up in Canada. >> Nice. >> Yeah. Really proud of it. And uh and I.

hope people check it out. I hope you. check it out. Yeah, >> I'll check it out if you promise to. watch movies every now and then. yourself. >> I'll do it if you promise to be in my. next movie and we'll watch it together. >> That's a lot. >> It's an offer. >> Okay, >> we can talk. >> Okay. I'm excited. >> I'd love to see you get back in to do a. little acting. >> I like that there are comedy movies. again. I really do. That's nice. >> Well, that's the one with I'm going to. do with Tony is full on. That's why I'm. sort of asking you cuz I want to see you. get your comedy face in there again. Is. it about? >> It's about a redneck culture.

>> And this is the part where you really. love it cuz I know you love vehicles. >> It centers around something called a mud. bog where guys in Florida jack up their. pickup trucks and drive through mud for. 3 days. It's not monster trucks. They. just drive through mud and jump and. spray. And then the other part of the. movie takes place in those airboats that. drive through all the marshes in. Florida. And you would be the mayor of. this town and get into it with Tony who.

becomes one of these mugbod guys. So. you'd be around all this [ __ ]. >> Good lord. Florida is a different part. of. >> Isn't it wild? >> Look at these [ __ ] cars. That's. crazy. Got an old Camaro. >> Yeah. This is what they do. Tell me you. wouldn't like to be around that. >> Scroll back up, please. >> It's so fun. >> So the movie. >> digging into the world of mud bogging in. North Central Florida. Yeah. So Tony's. going to be the uh the lead guy who.

tries to win the whole mudbog thing, but. meanwhile the mayor, which would be you, wants him out of town cuz he's such a. redneck. He doesn't like the culture. >> Oh Jesus. >> Look at that. [laughter]. >> Florida is so different. >> It is such a different place. >> Yeah. >> God. [snorts]. >> So we're gonna have fun doing that. But. yeah, thank you for letting me mention. Wingman. Awesome. It's when you do an. indie uh project, it it helps to uh be. able to talk about it. So, thank you.

>> If you got an offer after this show to. do a sitcom, would you consider doing. it? And if someone said, "Listen, I. think we could bring back the multicam. sitcom.". >> But we want you to star in it, Haron. >> I would if it was if it's all about the. material cuz me and you were older. I. think as we get older, it becomes about. how do we want to dedicate our time? I'm. not interested in just doing, oh, I got. a sitcom. It's got to have meaning to. me. Of course, >> it's got to be something where I. >> But if you could help create it. >> Oh, yeah.

>> That's what I'm saying. All those guys. that used to work work on all those. shows like Seinfeld and Friends and they. they have to still be out there in the. world. >> Oh, yeah. >> Isn't that nuts? >> Yeah. >> Like, can you imagine? Imagine back in. the 90s when everybody wanted a sitcom. when we were we were first coming up. If. you said, you know, one day there'll be. no more sitcoms, you'd be like, what the. [ __ ] are you talking about? You would. have never believed that. If you went. into these rooms where they they're. making Sex in the City and The Single. Guy and all these rooms, guys,

>> enjoy it while you can. Yeah. Because in. a couple of decades, there's going to be. zero sitcoms on television. They would. have just laughed. >> Yeah. >> They would have kicked you out of that. office. Get the [ __ ] out of here. You. don't know what you're talking about. Meanwhile, that's true. Well, this is. why I love I hate I'm just going to go. back to it quickly. AI because it shows. were evolving, you know. Remember Joe, at one point movies were black and. white. They didn't have sound. >> Really? >> Yeah. Yeah. They they were they and then. talkis came and color and digital and so.

I love it that every form of our. entertainment is evolving and becoming. there's stuff going to come that we. don't even know, which I love. >> Me, too. >> Yeah. But I think sitcoms didn't have to. go away. That's what I'm saying. >> Yeah, maybe not. But maybe so. Like the. new way. Like your daughters probably. don't want to sit down for half an hour. >> They love sitcoms. >> They do. >> They watch old ones. >> Okay. Well, I was wrong. I was really. wrong. I'm hurting. >> Well, me and my youngest, we sat through.

the entire season. I mean, the entire. all seasons of Big Bang Theory. That was. me and my family. We watched that one. >> Yeah. my wife and my and then we watched. YoungSheldon which was the next version. of it. >> Young Sheldon was really good. It was uh. it was a single cam show that was on. Netflix and it was Sheldon as a young. kid. >> It was the genius kid as a young boy. Very funny show but totally different. like really cute, sweet show. >> but not uh in front of a live audience.

And I think there's something I loved. doing news radio. I really did. Yeah. And. >> but it was just because. >> it was an insanely talented cast and we. were all like brothers and sisters. We. were we had so much fun. >> Family. >> for 5 years. We worked together and we. got drunk all the time and we It was so. silly. It was such a fun set. >> It's like summer camp. >> Yeah. It was really fun. It was really. And the show I think was really good. >> Yeah, it did well. >> And also, here's the best part. It was. never really successful, >> which was great because none of us got.

really rich or famous from that show. It. was really it was it was always like not. doing so well in the ratings. We got. moved nine times in five years. And this. was back back before the internet. So. you couldn't like send out a tweet, hey, we're on Sunday nights now. >> Wow. >> You know, and this was back also when. nobody had. >> this. I just saw this trailer the other. day. This is a spin-off from Big Bang. Theory, but it's not a like, you know, in front of an audience sitcom and it's. not multicam either, I suppose, but was. popping up. >> Oh no [ __ ].

>> Yeah. It's called Steuart Fails to Save. the Universe, >> but it's a new show, you know. It's a. comedy. It is a 30-minute show kind of. >> in that universe. >> Yeah. Yeah. Even like the the logo is. like got the same kind of. >> Wow. It's on HBO. Yeah. Nice. >> Wild. >> Yeah. >> Huh. Who's created more bangers than that. Chuck Lori guy? >> Oh my god. Yeah. >> That guy's created so many big sitcoms. Big Bang The What's that?

>> An article he wrote or I just read. interviewing him said that those shows. kind of died because like The Office and. uh Curb kind of killed it. >> for a while. Single camera, no audience. >> Yeah. >> I'm also thinking I wouldn't want to go. sit and watch a taping of a show right. now. >> How much would they have to pay an. audience to do that? >> Right. >> Well, you only have to pay the audience. until the show becomes successful. >> True. Yeah. I guess people would want to. go. >> Yeah. You don't really want a paid. audience cuz they're not as much fun. Like news radio in the beginning, nobody. knew who the [ __ ] we were. But by season.

3, the audience was news radio fans. Yeah. >> And it became a totally different thing. It was really fun. And Phil Hartman used. to do standup. >> Oh, nice. >> He had talked about doing standup in the. clubs, but he would do he was really. good at impressions. He would do Bill. Clinton impressions and he had bits. He. had little things he would run. >> and he would just do it for fun. And you. know, we had talked about him actually. doing it in clubs and he thought about. doing it. Um, but it was the whole thing. was silly. Like Andy Dick would address. the audience. He would they people would. answer questions. We had a good warm-up.

guy. It was like a party that was going. on. Everybody had a great time. And that. was after the show, you know, caught its. gear. But it never was popular until it. became syndicated. >> Then was in syndication. Then it became. really popular. >> At least yours was sort of popular. Every every week they'd put out the top. 100. And my sitcom was always number 99. or 100. So at least yours was probably. up in the top 30. No. One day Lou Morton.

Lou Morton was one of our writers and. Lou every week would show up with a a. t-shirt with a number on it that he. would draw with magic marker of what we. were. And one day he showed up and it. said 88. I go 88. He goes, "Yep." I go, "No." He goes, "Yeah." I go, "Fuck, [groaning] dude. I was a hundred every. week. >> Wow. What network were you on? >> The WB. >> We were on NBC. >> Yeah. Okay. So WB didn't have affiliates. all across the C. We only had like 60%. >> 88 at NBC is you're barely alive. But.

still 100. >> Yeah. 100. >> Well, they always tell us, don't worry. We're not worried about the numbers. We. know you got to find your audience. again. Now you're on Monday night. >> You used to be on Sunday. And one time. we were on Thursday night. We were in. the Friends sandwich. So it was Friends. and Seinfeld which Paul Sims the. executive producer of news radio famous. called the [ __ ] sandwich because in. between friends and Seinfeld you would. have like Caroline in the city and these. shows that weren't as good.

>> Do you want to hear about Salt in the. Wound? >> Yeah. >> So mine was show was number 100. Okay. It was called Simon. It was me. I was. the star. I played Simon. Jason Baitman. played my brother. >> Look at that. >> And the lead girl, Andrea Bendlewald, we. ended up dating. She became my. girlfriend. Her best friend was Jennifer. Aniston. She lived with Jennifer. So I.

would go and stay at Jennifer's house. every night with my girlfriend. We were. like Thre's Company. And I'd have to sit. there and watch Friends with Jennifer, the number one show, while me and Andrea. were at the bottom at [laughter] number. 100. It was like, oh, I mean, Love. Jennifer was so happy. But talk about. salt in the wound. It was like, oh, damn. Isn't it crazy though? But you're. on TV. You're living the dream. This is. one of. >> It was great. It was great. >> The earliest social media was the the.

Variety magazine and the Hollywood. Reporter. That was like the same thing. where these people would compare. themselves to everybody else and they. would look at the rankings and I would. show up on the set and you know like all. these people loved to read those things. and they were reading those things and I. started calling them the devil's rag. I. go why are you reading the devil's rag? I go because they were we were. complaining like I can't believe we're. number 36. If we were on, you know, Thursday night we would be number two or. number one or whatever. And I go last. time I checked I'm on TV.

>> Yeah. >> I go we're on TV. We're on TV on NBC. There's not a lot of people that get to. be on TV. >> Like, this is great. We're living the. dream. So, we're not number one. Like, you guys are reading that and you're. forgetting how many people that you're. friends with that are going on auditions. right now that would kill to be on NBC. But it's the devil's rag. It's the same. thing that happens with, you know, you. say, "Oh, I just got a new car. I'm. pretty happy." And then, "Oh, Jeff Bezos. got a yacht. Fuck.". >> I'll be honest, [clears throat] I was. like you. I was like, I'm on TV. But I.

gotta tell you as we got deeper into the. season. and I had to sit there beside Jennifer. Aniston. and watch her number one show every week. and old 100 is sitting beside her. I. gotta say it it it started to seep in. where you're just like [ __ ] I'm on TV, you know? It's sort of like there were. days when it was just you could feel it. Not blaming her, but just the business. It was it was hard to sit at one end and.

see the other. But it that's the way it. works. >> It's the way it is. But you got to. really just be happy to run. >> Great. You're winning the lottery. >> Yeah. You you won the lottery. You just. didn't win the mega power ball. >> Yeah. And I loved it. I I got to work. with Jason and I, you know, I was the. star of my I came from the suburbs of. Toronto. Never thought I'd do anything. Here I'm I got the I'm the star of my. own sitcom, Simon. I'm like, this is. unbelievable. >> Yeah. It's I share your attitude. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And there's a lot of them that don't.

work, man. >> Yeah. I was on the set and we were there. like so you'd go like Sunset Gower and. there'd be a bunch of other places that. were next to you and I'd go visit with. all those guys cuz like a lot of them. were my like Lenny Clark Lenny Clark was. right down the street. He was on the the. John Larette show. Do you remember that? >> Yeah. I got a little story about that. when you're done. I'll tell you. Tell. me. >> Are you sure? You don't want to finish? >> Did John Larat yell at you? >> So before I got my own sitcom, so I was. in Hollywood. I did two auditions. I did.

one for Ellen DeGeneres's first show was. called These Friends of Mine and I was a. guest star on the show with Molly. Shannon. And then my second audition was for the. John Larette show and I went in and. auditioned and the feedback to my agents. was John said this guy wants his own. sitcom and I said to my agents I said. you're damn right I do. And the next gig. I got was my own sitcom. Chick was pretty cool.

>> So, you think he didn't like you because. you wanted your own sitcom or he thought. you were too good for his show because. you want your own sitcom? >> I think he must have sensed I walked in. there with attitude or cockiness, which. I didn't. I just did the audition. But. he must have been reading my vibe. somehow. >> Well, that's you. >> Yeah. So, >> well, people that don't, that's how you. walk like people that don't y this. Harlon, you've always been like this. >> I have. From the moment I met you, >> you've always been like this very happy, very confident guy. You never look. rattled to do a show. You always looked.

like you're having a good [ __ ] time. >> Oh yeah. >> All of us like there was moments where. everyone had a big show and you're like. [ __ ] real nervous. You were never like. that. No, >> you were always like happy golucky. Yeah. >> I don't know one person that doesn't. like you. >> Oh wow. >> Do you know how crazy that is? >> I'm not even married. >> But do you know how crazy that is? Like. I know every comic that I know has a. comic that they don't get along with. that they hate. >> Someone hates them or they hate them or. there's some [ __ ] [ __ ] that guy. That.

guy's a piece of [ __ ] His comedy sucks. No one says that about you. >> Do you know how amazing that is? >> That's I'm That's a. >> We were talking about that in the green. room one day. We were talking about in. the green room cuz it was after you came. on with Dimmitri. I was I [laughter]. told everybody I was howling. He waited. the whole show before he pulled his. [ __ ] snake out of his pants. By the. [snorts] way, that snake sat right in. front of Donald Trump when he was here. >> I loved it. I told you that. >> I know you did. Um, so that conversation. that we had in the green room was like, "Who the [ __ ] do you know that doesn't.

like Harlon?" And we all sat around and. talked about it. There's no one. >> A. >> you are you are like the most un. universally loved comedian that I know. >> Oh my god. >> I have to defend Tony to everybody. >> Yeah. Tony. [laughter] Yeah. >> HE'S A GREAT GUY. >> He's a great guy. Yeah, >> it's just like in that world you have to. understand the roast world. Like that is. not the real world, kids. >> That is you're going for blood, you. know? Like if you're in a cage fight and. you elbow someone in the face, it's not. because you're a bad person. That is the.

job. That's the game we're playing. >> If you don't do it, you're you're you're. letting yourself down. You've got to go. in and fight. Yeah. >> That's the game we're playing. These are. the rules that we're under. We're all. talking [ __ ] you know. >> Yeah. It's uh. >> and so when you see people complain. about it. Yeah. I say I understand the. general public that's not aware what. roasts are because the reality of roasts. are especially for like if you're a 22-y. old kid. The last time there were roasts. on television before the Tom Brady bro. was literally 10 years ago. >> Yeah. >> Like do you remember the Charlie Sheen. roast, the Donald Trump roast, the.

Comedy Central roast? They used to have. them all the time. >> All the time. >> They were a long time ago. >> Yeah. >> It's a long time in the zeitgeist, right? So those things don't exist to. kids. to kids. Comedy is joking about. stuff. Comedy is Chris Rock. Comedy is. Kevin Hart. Comedy is Louis C. That's. what they think of comedy is. They don't. under They don't even understand the. jokes like that. This is roast jokes are. [ __ ] mean. They've always been. [ __ ] mean. >> They can be cruel, too. >> Personal, ruthless. Go back and watch.

all those old Comedy Central roast. They. were [ __ ] brutal. They were brutal. Patrice would just eviscerate the entire. [ __ ] stadium. those things. The thing is like if. you're a person and you're not. accustomed to roast and you don't get. why those jokes are so mean, I get it. But comedians, comedians that are getting upset about. these roast jokes, [ __ ] all the way off. Just [ __ ] all the way off. You [ __ ]. traitor. You know what this is. You know.

exactly what this is. You're a [ __ ]. traitor. You're just using this moment. to try to boost yourself up to try to. like knock down what's happening in. these. You could disagree with the. content. You could say, "I think they. went too far with this. I don't think.". But the this this [ __ ] pretending. that these people are actual racists and. Nazis just because they're telling these. jokes that are in a roast. Like, [ __ ]. all the way off. >> Yeah. Don't suit up. Go out and play. hockey if you don't want to play hockey. Like, sit on the bench. And don't don't.

badmouth the people playing hockey. Yeah, it is what it is. And. >> that's the game. That's the game we're. playing. We're playing this ruthless. And by the way, you know who didn't have. a problem with it? Kevin [ __ ] Hart. >> Kevin [ __ ] Hart has defended every. single person that said horrible [ __ ]. about him about him being lynched from a. bonsai tree and all the craziest [ __ ]. that they said. >> Well, you know who else didn't have a. problem with it is the people, the. corporations that put it on corporate. television on corporate airwaves. So.

there's a whole subsection of the. foundation of where these the platform. that they're given. They didn't care. about it either or they wouldn't do it. So. >> well they knew from the Tom Brady Roast. how powerful those things are now. The. Tom Brady Roast was the number one. watched thing in Netflix history. >> Wow. >> There more than 55 million people watch. that thing. I got to say I'm not the. hugest fan cuz I don't love cruel humor. as much. But but I do love it that that. Tom Brady roast I feel like it kicked.

wokeness over the cliff like those. Buffalo. We were getting so woke and we. needed that roast to sort of course. correct. >> There's two things that killed woke. Number one, >> Kid Rock gunned down a whole [ __ ]. stack of Bud Lights. >> I [laughter] love that. >> That That was it. >> That was so good. That might have been. it. >> Oh, that was gorgeous. >> That might have been it because then. they got to see the real financial. consequences of being [ __ ] completely. insane. >> that people were fed up. They're like.

enough. And Kid Rock saying, "Fuck you, Annheiser Bush." Like, that is. >> that's a big hit to the stock price. And. then people realize, oh, >> this is a micro set of people that are. very loud, but it's not the macro. It's. not it's not it's not the general. population. >> It's even smaller than micro. It's it's. like micro micro. >> Not only that, but the people that were. in it, a lot of them abandoned ship. >> Yeah. >> A lot of them abandoned ship. >> Virtue signaling is done. >> They just real they got caught up in a.

thing that was like the way people were. behaving and so they imitated what was. going on in their social groups. It's a. normal thing that people do, but it just. it wasn't rational and that's why it got. shot down by Kid Rock. >> By the way, what kind of gun did he use? I don't know guns. I bet you know what. he used. >> I think he used an AR. Go back and look. at it. It's a assault rifle. >> Is it like like automatic? >> Semi-automatic. I mean, maybe he used an. automatic. He's in Tennessee. They have. some solid gun laws. >> He just blasted away. >> You kind of have whatever you want. >> How many in a clip for an AR? Do you.

know? >> It's called a magazine. And uh see, I. don't know Canadian. I don't know. anything about guns. They vary. >> A magazine. >> They took all your guns up there in. Canada. >> Well, we never had. >> What is he What is he shooting there? >> Wow. Look at that. >> Yeah. Let's see. Let's see the video of. him doing it and I can kind of tell you. better. >> That's wild. [laughter]. >> Kid Rock shoots back at Bud Light. How. many views does this have? How many views this video have? >> Some news reporting of it. I don't mean. He didn't post it on YouTube. >> Look at this.

[laughter]. >> Oh man. >> Okay. Uh that's an AR. I think. >> that's the magazine. >> But it might be it might be a fully. automatic. >> That's not a clip. Let me hear it, please. >> Yeah, I think that's fully automatic. Yeah, that's fully automatic, 100%. >> Wow. >> So, he has uh some kind of machine gun. >> I want to go I want to shoot up a. six-pack of Dr. Pepper just for fun. I.

love Dr. Pepper, but now I want to shoot. a some pop. >> Why don't you just go shoot something. you don't like? Cuz it's kind of. symbolic of something you're trying to. kill. >> Wolves. >> Yeah, >> I love wolves. You want to shoot a wolf? We're not going back to the wolf. >> Depends on where they are. Listen, if. wolves are in the mountains and they're. just being wolves and they're eating elk. and deer and I'm all for wolves. I'm not. an anti-wolf person, >> but I think you shouldn't bring them. into residential neighborhoods and drop. them off in ranches. I think that's. [ __ ] ridiculous. >> I'm bringing you back.

>> But I think that wolves in the wild are. important. I'm not an anti-wolf person. I just don't like people doing what I. call ballot box biology where you get. people to decide by voting that are. never going to experience these wolves. Do you think we should reintroduce. wolves to Colorado? And all these people. that just got back from Whole Foods like. yeah that would be amazing. I heard it's. going to help the sprouts grow and they. they vote yes. And then these poor lambs. are getting eaten alive. >> Have you shot a wolf? >> No. No. I don't want to hunt wolves. I.

don't I mean I would shoot a wolf if I. thought the wolf was like endangering my. family or trying to kill my dog or. something like that, but I love wolves. I don't not like wolves. I think they're. awesome. I think they're awesome. >> Have you ever heard a wolf howl in the. wild? >> No. >> It's very haunting. It's very ghostly. Even more I know you've heard coyotes. >> Mhm. >> But a wolf has this long howl. It's. almost. >> I can see why Native Americans are so. spiritually connected to it. It's very. ghostly and. >> Oh, yeah.

>> It's spiritual almost. It's a very in a. beautiful sound. >> No, they're amazing animals. But. >> that was pretty good. >> Sort of like that. >> Do you know if you do that? I had a. friend who had. >> Sorry, I slipped. I had a friend who had. wolves and if you do that in his house, they start howling.

>> Yeah, they go nuts. >> Yeah. I would go over his house and and. >> father. >> Wild. What a wild animal. >> What a crazy noise. That Look, they're. incredible. >> They're incredible. >> That's That's so awesome. >> I saw one in the wild. >> They're important to keep populations. I. just don't think you should reintroduce. him to [ __ ] Aspen, you [ __ ].

>> It might be fun to see a pack of Timbers. taking down a skier. >> Like Charlie Sheen coming down the hill. with Denise Richards and. >> 12 Timberwolves like take them down. And. >> there was a movie. >> Rip out their. >> There was a movie about that called. Frozen. Not like the Let It Go, let it. go. >> Oh yeah, it was with Liam Niss. >> No, that was the Gray. The The Frozen. movie is someone movies. It's a hor I. know all the wolf movies. It's a horror. movie about these kids that are uh.

skiing and they get stuck on a ski lift. because they forget they're up there and. there's wolves down there, okay? >> And they get killed. So, the guy falls. and his legs break. >> and then the wolves come and get them. >> See, you're going to get mad at me, but. I don't. A movie like this one scare me. because I just know wolves to be. skittish like this. >> You're out of your mind. Yeah. You don't. know what you're talking about if you're. injured. >> Like lions, uh, leopards, jaguars, like, forget it. They'll take you down. But. >> my experience with wolves is they're. more skittish around humans. But I don't.

want to get into it again. We can go to. Arby's later and have a fight. >> If you have a broken leg like that guy. did in this movie, >> they're bleeding [clears throat] and. they can smell it. They're tearing them. apart right now. Look at Watch. Watch. it. They're eating them. They're eating. them. >> They're killing the man. >> Is that Denise Richards? >> No. >> No. It looks like Drew Barry. >> Spoiler alert, they live. >> Also, spoiler alert, no wolves in New. Hampshire. It's all [ __ ]. >> Oh, yeah. There probably was at one. point. >> Yeah, they killed them all because they. were killing people and livestock. >> Yeah. >> Yeah.

>> Idiots. >> You know how they killed them, too? Most. of them they poisoned. What they would. do is they would inject strick nine into. horses and leave the horse carcass and. eat it and then they would all die. >> Wow. They did a lot of trapping, too. Those cruel. >> the uh Oh, yeah. The snap traps. >> Yep. They did that, too. I knew some old. uh trap guys up when I worked up north. and uh these guys, you might not want to. hear this, but the way they'd take them. out is they'd trap them in the leg traps. and then they didn't want to damage the. pelt. So then they walk up to them while.

they're trapped and they just clunk. them. They club them to death. >> I like how they club seals like back. Yeah. >> Horrible. >> Yeah, that's I don't like that. >> The clubbing seals, man, was rough. I. saw some rough. You ever see those. videos? And the seals. >> God, >> at least a wolf would run away. These. seals, they're just laying out. sunbathing. And they walk up and just. bam, smack and pop their skulls. >> I know. And you're doing that for their. fur. >> And the babies, they'd smack the babies. cuz they had that beautiful white fur.

>> Oh my gosh. >> These things are like a chromosome away. from being a sex toy. They're so cute. [groaning] Wow. [laughter]. >> [sighs]. >> Wolves are good. >> Yeah. >> You just don't want them in your. neighborhood. They They should be in the. woods. >> I love them. I' I wouldn't mind if they. were around. >> You say that. You say that. Do you have a dog? >> I've had them. >> What if you came out and your dog was. getting eaten alive by wolves? Cuz they.

eat dogs. >> I lost a co one of my dogs to coyotes. Yeah. >> I remember the day you told me your pit. bull went up and took out a whole squad. of coyotes. >> No, no, no. It wasn't my pit bull. >> Oh, I thought it was yours. >> No, no, no. Your neighbors. It was one. of my friends who worked at a pet store. who was also worked at a veterinarian's. office. Okay. And he told me the story. about this pitbull that came into the. veterinarian's office. It was covered in. cuts. A big pit. Okay. Yeah. You told me. this like like 10 15 years ago. >> Yeah. It was like one of those, you. know, they there's there's these.

companies that um take pitbulls and they. breed them and make them like 120 lbs. They keep breeding them bigger and. bigger. This was one of those. This. thing was a [ __ ] tank. >> Like a tank. And he said it was covered. in cuts. And they asked the guy like, "What happened?" He goes, "I don't know. You know, I came home. He was all [ __ ]. up and bleeding.". >> So he brings him in, they stitch him up. And then the guy follows the blood trail. out into the hills and he finds nine. dead coyotes. >> Yeah, I remember you told me that. We. were at the store one night and you told. me that you just heard it. I was like,

"Wow, >> that is the nuttiest.". >> That story stayed with me cuz it was so. like crazy. >> He said he went there. He said it looked. like Vietnam. He goes, "There was just. their necks were torn apart. Their. [ __ ] legs were broken because this. pit bull once he grabs a hold of them he. just starts shaking them. Coyotes weigh. like 30 pounds. >> Yeah. They're not super big. >> But they would do this thing where they. would like corner an animal and they. would trick it. And the way they would. trick it, they would send one animal out. there to get chased. >> And so that the dog would chase it and. they would all come in sides and tear it.

apart. >> Yeah. They were really smart that way. >> They [ __ ] with the wrong dude. >> Yeah. Wow. Isn't that a crazy story? I I. remember that one you told me that I was. like that's crazy. >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> Yeah. There are everywhere now. They're. in. >> Coyotes are everywhere. >> Everywhere. >> Yeah. Oh, yeah. >> They're They're really cool, too. Coyote. America, that book by Dan Flores, the. same guy who wrote Bison Ecology, Bison. Diplomacy, >> he wrote this amazing book about coyotes. where he explains like why they're.

everywhere. Cuz greywolves and coyotes. don't breed, but red wolves and coyotes. do. That's why you have those koi wolves. on the east coast. >> Yeah. >> Greywolves have always killed coyotes. >> Yeah. >> So when greywolves find coyotes, they. kill them. And so coyotes are used to. being persecuted by the greywolves and. then they just keep moving to new. places. That's what they do. So that's. how they made it all the way across the. country. >> So when people were killing coyotes or. people were trying to hunt coyotes, they. just moved. They just moved to new. places. >> Yeah. They can adapt. I see them in my.

front lawn almost every other week. >> Yeah, they're everywhere. >> Yeah, I'm in the Hollywood Hills and. they're I see them walking right past my. swimming pool. >> I mean, it's not cool if you have a dog. or a cat. They will eat them. But they. they are cool. They're it's a cool. animal. >> They're really cool. >> And they're they're howls are wild, too. These yips in the middle of night. >> Well, they go off sometimes if there's a. a fire engine goes by in Hollywood. Yeah, the the coyotes will react to it. and go off.

>> They also keep the rats down. Like. that's why you don't see a lot of rats. They keep the rat population down. >> Oh yeah. >> If they if they killed off all the. coyotes, it would have a devastating. effect for the ecosystem, too. There. would be a bunch of [ __ ] that would be. around all the time now that they're. killing and eating. >> Yeah. Yeah. No, they're they're cool. animals, man. There was a a girl, speaking of being killed by wolves, there was a girl in Prince Edward Island. about about 12 years ago, I think, killed by coyotes. >> She got killed by a pack of coyotes.

>> She was out running with her Walkman on. and. >> she was like a promising folk singer. >> Yeah. >> They said that those coyotes were. unusual because they were used to. killing moose. >> Killing moose. Yeah. The coyotes would. literally they were going after bigger. game because there wasn't a lot of game. there. So they were used to packing. together and like taking out the moose. by like attacking their legs. >> Yeah. >> Keep cutting at their legs. >> until they can't run. >> Wow. I've never heard of coyotes taking. out a moose. That's wild. >> Yeah. We we looked it up on the show.

Like this was a very unusual area. >> Strange. Yeah. >> And it's one of the reasons why they. think these coyotes killed this girl. And she wasn't big. She was small. >> Yeah. She was out jogging. Yeah. >> But that's the thing, man. They they. they don't have rules. They don't like, well, we don't [ __ ] with people and. people don't [ __ ] with us. >> But the orcas seem to they seem to. understand what we are. They've saved. people even out in the wild. Like people. that fell overboard, they've saved them. Yeah. Isn't it strange that such a. probably the top predator in the sea.

next to the sperm whale, the killer. whale could take whatever it wants. >> Yeah. >> And somehow instinctively it leaves. humans alone. I I don't really. understand it. And that's why I talk. about sort of the programming of nature. to step around humans somehow because it. doesn't make sense. Humans look like. seals with the same body shape, the same. weight pretty much. And yet orcas, there's no documented kill of a human on.

by an orca. >> I know. Other than worlds, right? Well, they're so smart and their brains are. huge. They're have huge brains. We just. equate intelligence with your ability to. manipulate your environment. Like, so. they don't have a house, they don't have. cell phones. They must be idiots. >> But we don't know. And they they clearly. understand that we're different than. everything else. >> But that's what I mean. All I think all. the critters do. >> Well, we are. >> Yeah. >> Show some respect, [ __ ] We're the ones. with the guns. >> Uh, it's bi.

>> Thank you. >> I mean, look, we both love animals. I. know you love animals. I love animals, too. I just love people more. >> I love people the same. But if it came. to deciding whether we left Earth with. humans or animals, I'll be honest, this. will sound mean. I' I'd give it to the. animals. >> Why? >> Cuz they don't know cruelty. >> That's not true. >> They don't know. >> malice. Do you know they listen, you're.

saying you're talking crazy talk. Do you. know how uh bears kill things? They just. eat them. They hold them down. They eat. them. They didn't even kill him first. >> But it's not it's not from cruelty. It's. for survival. Humans are cruel. Have you. heard of Hiroshima? >> Yeah, I have. That was probably less. cruel than a bear eating you [ __ ]. first. >> No, but there's no intent with a animal. >> He's just trying to eat you. >> An animal doesn't have intent, >> right? But the end result's still the. same. If you you were getting eaten. [ __ ] first [snorts] by a grizzly.

bear, you're not thinking, well, he. doesn't have intent to be cruel. This is. just how he eats me. [ __ ] first is. his favorite way. >> He has to eat you. He can't go to the. grocery store. >> He doesn't have to eat you. He could. kill you first and then eat you like a. cat does. >> But he doesn't know how. He doesn't. realize he's being cruel. No, no, no. He. doesn't care. >> Right. He doesn't know how. He could. definitely kill you. If you were a bear. and they were fighting, he would grab. you by the neck and he would kill you. Like they try to kill each other. But. when they eat you, they're not they just. don't care. >> Right. Well, that's what I mean. There's.

no malice. Whereas humans, >> but the result is the same. You're not. going to take comfort in the fact that. he doesn't have malice while he's eating. your dick. >> It's pronounced gourd. [laughter]. >> You know that video uh well the audio of. Grizzly Man getting eaten? >> Yeah. >> 5 minutes long. >> Oh yeah. >> It's 5 minutes long of him screaming. while this thing is just eating him by. grabbing his thighs and pulling chunks. out of his thighs. >> By the way, they finally just recently. released that audio, right? Cuz in the. movie Grizzly Man, the director refused.

to play it. >> No, it's not real. It's Wernern Herszog. He He They destroyed that audio. The The. fake audio that's online, it's just. fake. That. >> the new one. >> It's fake. It's not even new. It's been. around forever. But you listen to it, if. you know it's fake, you hear it, you go, "Oh, this is bullshit.". >> Okay. >> Like, [screaming]. >> it sounds fake. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> It sounds fake. >> But the point is like, yeah, people are. gross and cruel. So are chimps, you. know? So what they do to monkeys is. [ __ ] horrific. >> Yeah. >> You know, I don't know if they're doing. it on purpose, but they what they do to.

people. It seems like they're doing it. on purpose. When they bite your fingers. off and pull your eyeballs out, it seems. like they're being cruel. You know, I. think it's a primate survival tactic, especially like primates that engage in. war. Like chimps engage in war, you. develop cruelty in order to be better at. your job. >> Yeah. But I I think with them, they they. lack emotional cru cruelty. Like humans, we have we have the knowledge to know. something's bad or good. They just know.

survival and we engage in bad which. makes us a different kind of cruel. >> Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. >> Did I just win my first argument? >> No, I mean you're right. I agree with. you about that. We we have a certain. type of cruelty that's not, you know, it's not like any other animals cruelty. because we're aware of how it's going to. affect other people. >> There you go. >> Yeah. They're not really aware of it. They just don't care. >> Yeah. You know, you know when they do. those things where they communicate with. chimpanzees, they teach them sign. language. >> You know, they've never had a chimp ask.

a question. >> Yeah. Right. Interesting. >> Isn't that interesting? >> They communicate, but they never like. >> Yeah. >> Why are you wearing clothes? There's. not, you know what I mean? >> I never thought of that. >> Yeah. That's weird, right? >> Yeah. >> Can we get Arby's for lunch? Like, why. don't they ever ask for anything? >> They don't ask. >> Yeah, that's Well, wait. Did Did um You. know what? That's not true. How so? >> Coco the gorilla the the gorilla. >> he would ask for affection. He would ask.

for love and hugs. I think there's. >> Oh, yeah. But that's a request. That's. not a question. Like why am I here? >> Oh, okay. >> What is this building? >> You're talking more of a philosophical. question. >> No, I'm talking about h being having. actual curiosity about like its. environment, right? I understand. >> Why is your skin white and mine is not? What is. >> They're just not aware. >> How come you don't walk on your hands? You know what I mean? Like what what we. call intelligence is very. compartmentalized. It's very in our. intelligence. We have the intelligence.

to understand this thing probably. doesn't like being in the cage. They. don't think that way. >> No. Do you believe in the concept of a. missing link like something in between. homo erectus and Neanderthal and then us. modern day? Is there do you think. there's a missing. >> creature? I think the first of all the. real problem is what's the evidence in. terms of the fossil record? It's very. incomplete, >> right? >> Because it's hard to get fossils, >> right? >> Like for for someone to leave a fossil.

behind, you have to die in mud or has to. be specific conditions. >> So most animals that die, I think we. looked it up before, it's like 99% are. never going to leave a fossil, >> right? So when they find things like. Dennis Ovenans, so the Dennis Ovenans, I. think they found in the 20110s or. something like that. When did they find. them? Was it more recently than that? Maybe it was more recently than that. So. they just found like a tooth and a. finger. And then and then they start. finding bones. They're like, "Hey, this.

is not like a normal human tooth. This. is not like a normal human bone." And. then they do DNA tests on them and then. they go, "Oh, this is different. This is. a different type of human." So there's. humans that lived alongside humans that. we just found out about 10 years ago. >> Huh? >> So how many versions of ancient homminid. to modern homo sapien? How many versions. were there that we have evidence of? That's what we don't know. >> What's the homo. >> 2008? Here it is. Michael Shunov of the.

Russian Academy of Sciences and other. Russian archaeologist. >> Oh, what happened? >> We just got scrolled player. >> What is that? That was weird. and. scrolled. >> What did it just do? That was so weird. >> That was so weird. It's like It's like. they didn't want us reading this out. loud. >> What's the homo we're missing? >> Uh, that's a good question. So um. archaeologists from the Institute of. Archaeology and Ethnography of the. Siberian branch of the Russian Academy. of Sciences in Novo Cibrisk.

Aador. investigated [snorts] the cave and found. a finger of a juvenile female homminid. originally dated from 50 to 30,000 years. ago. >> Huh. >> And then the estimate was changed to. 76,000 to 51,000 years ago. Specimen was. originally named exwoman. So anyway, um the whole thing is that. they found that this is go back that. again um a novel ancient hominid.

genetically distinct from both. contemporary modern humans and from. Neandertos. So they knew from that that. it's a new kind of human and that's just. 2008. So this is 18 years ago they found. that. So, who knows how many ones they. could find if they kept if you had. there's a limited amount of. archaeologists that are doing this kind. of work. Imagine if you had thousands. and thousands of them scouring Asia, scouring Africa, looking. There's. probably a bunch more that we haven't. discovered. >> Oh, definitely.

>> So, this idea of the missing link, I'm. not sure if that's accurate. >> Okay. >> But then the question is good. I'm glad. you said that because it it sort of. illuminate illuminated me a little too. >> I hadn't thought of it in those terms. 2008, a Taiwanese citizen purchased a. fossil homo mandible dredged from the. seafloor of the Taiwan Strait from an. antique shop and donated to Taiwan's. National Museum, the National Science. Uh, attempts to extract the DNA were. unsuccessful, but in 2025, protein. analysis of the specimen designated.

Pangu one was published showing that it. belonged to a male Dennisovven. >> That's was this in a shop? >> I love the missing link was in an. antique shop. Well, that's how they. found Gigantoythecus, too. They found. >> I like that old lamp. I'll take that. plate. And how about historic missing. link? How much is that? >> The hell? >> I think it's just a different kind of. person. Yeah. You know, and then. >> interesting. >> If they kept finding more of them, maybe. we'd have a better understanding of like. what we're talking about. But.

>> there's a giant leap. That's for sure. >> Yeah. >> It's the biggest mystery in the entire. fossil record is the doubling of the. human brain size over a period of 2. million years. Well, it's a nutty nutty. thing that happened. All of a sudden, our brains grew. >> Well, what's interesting to me, too, is. that you you do have some fossilized. remains that are very, very, very old. that date back to, you know, caveman era. stuff. And then we have stuff closer to. what we just looked at, but there's that. that one transitional where you'd think.

there'd be a transitional creature that. they can't seem to find. >> They might find it. They might. I hope. they do. And I think some of these are. getting closer. They don't have like a. lot of Dennisovven bones, >> but there's going to be a few more that. they find, I'm sure, if they keep. looking. I bet there was probably a. bunch of different kinds of humans. The. question is like, why did we succeed? And why why are we so much smarter than. all the rest of them? >> We should go antiquing this weekend. See. what we can dig up. >> I don't think it's that way. >> Well, according to that missing place in.

an antique shop in. >> China, right? It was a long time ago. >> I don't care if they bought china or. pottery. I just let's go. >> I got to wrap this up, buddy. >> Yeah, buddy. >> Always good to see you, brother. >> Great to see you. Thanks for having me, brother. >> Thank you for being here. Uh Wingman, it's Is it available? Streaming is. available everywhere. >> It's only streaming uh on Apple and. Amazon Prime right now all over the. world. And then in Canada, we will start. streaming the end of June. And they. might even do uh 60 to 90 theaters up.

there. So, we're excited. Yeah. So, yeah, Wingman. Yeah. Yeah. And good luck. with the Tony one, too. That sounds fun. >> Yeah. And hopefully maybe we'll see you. there. >> Hopefully maybe. And congratulations on. guest of the year. That's awesome. Also, >> that was that was last year. Yeah, that. was last year. Thank you, buddy. Great. to see you. Love you, man. >> Love you, too, [music] brother. All. right. Bye, everybody. [music].