Joe Rogan Experience #2471 - Mark Normand

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. >> The Joe Rogan Experience. >> TRAIN BY DAY. JOE ROGAN PODCAST BY. NIGHT. All day. >> Hey. >> Hey, Charlie Kirk. >> No, [laughter]. >> don't shoot him. >> Oh, no. Don't say that. No, don't say. that. >> Doug's a Nazi. All right, >> he's going to sit right here and chill. out. What up, dog? New Netflix special.

out now. >> You got that right, Fatty. >> Let's [ __ ] go. >> None too. Please check it out. We just. hit number five, so I'm trying to get it. to to Uno. >> Well, maybe this will do it. >> Hopefully. >> Hopefully. I'll put it up on my. Instagram when the show runs. >> All right. Thank you. Thank you. Everything helps. >> It's a saturated market. >> I know. There's 19 comedy specials a day. now. YouTube and Hulu and the other. thing, 4chan. >> It's not just that. There's like just. you're competing with content. You think. about how many [ __ ] shows there are. now. It's kind of nuts.

>> I mean, forget shows. There's shows, there's Tik Toks, there's reals, there's. shorts. It never ends. >> Never been a time where there's more. things to watch and divide your. attention. >> I know. >> And then there's the war. >> Yay. [laughter]. >> There's the war. >> So much to pay attention to, right? >> Politics. It's only fans. >> Yeah. So much to pay attention to, buddy. >> Oh, yeah. >> So [snorts] much. Charlie, >> we'll just pretend that's Ari. He's back. [laughter]. >> Well, you know, Ari always gets too high.

and an hour in he just shuts up. >> Don't fall off the table. Hey, >> he looks like the Ayatollah now. Have. you seen him? He's got the beard. >> I know. >> Crazy. And he's gay. >> He came to the club the other day. He's. gay now, too. >> Oh, the Ayatollah. >> Oh, the new Ayatollah's gay. Yeah. >> Is that real? >> Ah, that's what Trump said. >> I think that's his real. >> He's never lied. Oh, okay. >> I think they're just trying to [ __ ] with. the guy. >> cuz if you get if you're gay in Iran, they just throw you off a building, right? He's going to have to throw. himself off. >> You know, that was like one of the first. places or the number one place in the.

world for transgender surgeries. >> I heard that. >> Because you couldn't be gay. >> So, you'd rather be a woman. >> You have to be a woman. You You got to. get [ __ ] in the ass. >> That's kind of progressive. >> You can't get [ __ ] in the Well, you. can't. I guess they don't check. But you. get [ __ ] in your fake cooter. [laughter]. >> Fake cooter. That sounds like an Austin. bar. >> Fake cooter. >> It probably will be. >> Yeah. >> After this, >> um, they've got to be terrified. I don't. know much about anything, but uh I would. be scared to fight a country that is. having a a fist fight on the White House.

lawn. >> That's how badass and crazy we are. Like. we're fighting at the president's house. each other. >> Yeah, >> we're going to [ __ ] you up. >> I'm not thrilled about that. >> You're going to be there? >> Yeah, I'll be there, but I'm not. thrilled about it. Doesn't seem like a. wise idea. Yeah, it looks like they were. targeting the [ __ ] reporter. >> Whoa. >> Hey, Charlie. Come here, buddy. Oh, this. dog's gonna be a It's gonna be a whole. different show here. >> No, he'll calm down. >> He just has to relax. He's [snorts].

never uh been with me alone before. He's. only been with my wife alone, but he. loves me. He slept with me last He. sleeps in the bed with my daughter, so. he slept with me last night. >> Oh, boy. >> You're a little buddy. >> That's good. We got We got diversity. here. It's a brown dog. [laughter]. >> Yeah, they they attacked that reporter, man. >> Crazy. It looked I mean unless it was a. weward missile. >> which is like what happened to precision. strikes. >> Oh yeah. >> I thought they were surgical. Remember. they would call them surgical.

>> That's right. >> Imagine calling a bomb that's going like. 5,000 mph. Surgical. >> I think they got old equipment over. there. They got Atari and [ __ ] They're. way behind. >> But [snorts] we hit a school that was on. us, I think. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But. >> even in our other countries, we're. shooting schools. >> Well, the school was uh unfortunately. What is it, James? right before it. >> Whoa. Is that the Damn, that's quite a. hit. >> Whoa, that's nuts. >> Jesus Christ. Looks like LA. >> What a It's crazy that you can capture.

it. Like, how good are these cameras? >> Meanwhile, they couldn't catch that. plane flying into the Pentagon. It's. >> true, >> right? When you see that thing, that. that thing looks just like a missile, too, >> right? >> What do you think that was? That plane. that hit the Pentagon? It doesn't really. look like a plane. Why would they be. shooting a missile into a a place that's. already been hit by missiles? >> And why is it in Russia? Oh, that's just. uh reporter. >> Russia. Russia Today reporter. >> Oh, got it. Got it. Sorry. >> Yeah, RT. You know that channel. I in. Lebanon. Oh, in Lebanon. I wonder if.

they're going after press because. they've gone after press before. >> Interesting. >> Yeah. I mean, they've been accused of. shooting press in Gaza, >> right? >> Yeah. >> Smart. Because they want to tell their. own story. [snorts]. They don't want you in there with their. your cameras. >> Yeah. What do you think about these. Netanyahu AI videos? >> I haven't seen them. >> You haven't seen them? >> No. >> Oh, they think he might be dead. >> What? >> Yeah. There's a bunch of AI videos that. Israel has released that are like.

clearly AI. >> What? >> Show Show him the one where there's in. the the cafe. This one's nuts. Like this. one I would assume that some kid made. just [ __ ] around on his computer. All. right. >> Like I saw it, I was like, there's no. way they're really trying to pass this. off as an actual video of Netanyahu at a. cafe in the middle of the war. Like. everything is calm and peaceful. >> I couldn't tell [snorts] that one. >> Yeah, this one. Well, that's just a. clip. Show the actual. >> I can't um.

>> BB. >> It's on the Israel website or the Israel. Twitter page. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. No, they released it. >> I didn't know. >> Holy moly. He's dead. That's crazy. >> Well, his brother's dead. His brother. got killed in a missile strike. >> recently. >> Yes. >> What? >> Yes. They struck his h Are you just not. online? What's going on? >> I just watched funny [ __ ] and goof. around. >> Pour some of that. Let's go. Come on. Give me some. >> Oh, hey. I thought you quit the sauce. >> Oh, no. I GOT BACK ON. >> HEY, I THOUGHT YOU GOT you turned Muslim.

or something. I didn't know what. happened. >> I'm back. >> Hell yeah. >> Alhamdulillah. Pour me one. >> Easy. Zoran [laughter]. bodega cat. >> Cheers, sir. >> Cheers. says, "Hey, good to be back with. Alvar's dead weight. >> holding us down.". >> I don't get drunk. O, I might this off. this stuff, though. But, uh, I have. started drinking again. I took like. eight months off. It was a good reset. >> I mean, I You're so short. I'll take a. week off and I'm like limitless. >> Yeah. Well, I realized that uh because. of the club, I was just drinking too.

much, >> right? >> And I was just tired all the time. Like, and I'd go to work out the next day. I. was like, "God, I feel like [ __ ] Why am. I doing this to myself?" And then I took. eight months off. Then I had a glass of. wine with dinner. I was like, "Oo, I. like it." And then I had a margarita and. I was like, "Oo, I'm back. >> It's a great time.". >> This one. So, look at this. This is AI. >> That's fake. >> Well, people have zoomed in on the the. um signs and stuff and it's not even. real writing. >> He's saying, "Look, I have five. fingers.". >> Weird. >> He's joking around, you know, because.

there was an AI video before that people. were criticizing because it looked like. one of his fingers had grown an extra. appendage, >> right? I think that just looked like the crease. of his hand, honestly, to me. But. >> yeah, >> this looks fake as [ __ ] First of all, it's weird because he sips out of the. cup and yet the cup stays exactly the. same level and no matter where he moves. the cup around, it doesn't spill, right? >> Like there's there's a moment where he. turns the cup like almost sideways.

>> It moves way too much for it to not. spill at all. >> And why would he just be doing it? Looks. like an ad for this coffee shop. He's. just hanging out at a coffee shop during. a war. >> Oh, and know and also like how's. everybody so casual. >> Yeah, he didn't tip though, so that's. that's the Judaism is coming through. >> But yeah, no, this is crazy. >> Looks like AI. Like he looks like he's. got a beauty filter on. That doesn't. look like a human being. >> Totally. This is silly. Let me hear what. he's saying. What is he saying? Is it in. Hebrew?

Look, everybody's happy to see him. Can. you imagine if you were in that coffee. shop be like, "Please leave. Please. leave before the [laughter] bombs come. Please leave before they target you.". They're trying to find that guy. everywhere he [ __ ] goes. >> But the Look at that. >> See, we got the Ayatollah in there, too.

>> They faked that one. Look at that. that. they're just showing you how easy it is. >> Yeah, there's [laughter] some really. good AI platforms now. And to know what. they would have that they're not showing. is who knows. >> This is He's got Come on. He can't be. dead. >> He might be dead. His brother's See, that's like, look at this. Yeah. >> Like the coffee. Look how turned it is. >> It doesn't spill at all. It just wiggles. to the edge. And then they've also shown. that like on the register and in some of. the signs, the the writing's not real.

M. >> It's very, very [ __ ] weird, man. >> Well, RIP. We'll drink one for for. Yahoo. >> Well, he hasn't been seen publicly in. over a week. >> So, he might be gone. >> Yeah, there's a lot of crazy [ __ ] going. on. I can't keep up with the Hormuz. I. don't know what that's about. >> That's completely closed now. They they. even bombed like the Saudis had another. way to move oil out into another. direction across the Red Sea, I believe. it is. And uh the the Iranians bombed. that. yesterday.

>> Oh yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's getting hot, dude. It's It's. [ __ ] scary. >> Speaking live as we. >> Oh, in front of people. >> He's alive. >> In front of people. >> I don't know. They just open Twitter. back up and this was there. >> I wonder. So if he is alive, I wonder. why they would release that. Clearly AI. video cuz that like this looks like a. normal human, right? >> Yeah, kind of. >> This doesn't look. >> They say that privately, >> but it's a little glossy. The world owes a debt of deep. indebtedness, deep indebtedness to.

President Trump for leading this effort. to safeguard our future. [clears throat]. >> Yeah. But this guy's been trying to get. war with Iran for decades, man. >> Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's loving this. >> [ __ ] And if he's not, by the way, if. he's not in war, he's not in office. anymore. And then and then he gets. indicted. like right. >> he's in the middle of at least one case, one corruption case. >> Mhm.

>> Well, this is his Super Bowl. He's He's. in heaven. >> So, there's people in the audience, right? So, this is real. >> Well, I mean, there's that that's. they're not This angle doesn't show. them. It's like a static angle, but you. can hear people's voices, which that you. know, if we want to be. >> Oh, they don't show the people. >> You could say that's fake, but. >> I need to see the people. I need to see. somebody hug them. >> So, wait, why why are you. >> I need to see somebody jerk them off. I. want to know it's real. >> Let's see that. No foreskin. >> Do you imagine if they did show that? They just show him just blasting like 12. foot arcs [laughter].

>> of rope. >> Just fire hose of jizz to show how. veriral he is. >> Man of Chevitz. >> Yeah. >> No. Yeah. Why you not why you not. looking forward to the White House. fight? >> Um well, it's kind of a gimmick. You. know, >> of course. >> there's that. And you know, people are. criticizing the card, but if it was any. other card, it's a great card. >> Mhm. just they're criticizing it because. they said it was going to be the. greatest card of all time. And it's also. it's just going to be a security. nightmare. >> That's true. >> You're on the White House lawn. Also,

they're fighting outside. What if it. rains? What if it's hot? You're in the. middle of June. >> June in DC can get pretty warm. >> Yep. Yep. >> That that affects fighters. Like we only. did one outside fight that I was a part. of and that was in Abu Dhabi and it was. a nightmare. Yeah, >> it was really hot and there was bugs. flying around their side of size of. [ __ ] birds. >> It was crazy. >> It's like stand up. You got to do it. indoors. >> 100%. >> Outside is hell for stand up. >> Yeah, it's terrible. Terrible. >> Yeah, most shows are bad outside. But.

here's my idea. We do White House fight, but we fight politicians. >> Huh? Get Boowbert versus AOC. Now that's. a fight. >> I like that. >> But I think I think RFK would win. everything. >> I think Jasmine Crockett whoops them. all. >> Oh yeah, she's feisty. She'd take a a. shoe off. >> She pulls the wig off, stuffs it in your. mouth, [laughter]. >> takes her earrings off. I'm terrified. >> Well, she's not a politician anymore. She lost, right? >> Yeah, but she'll be around. They never. leave. >> Maybe. >> they go forever, these guys.

>> Maybe. >> Bernie's still cooking. >> Yeah, but he's a senator. He's been a. senator forever. I mean, she she's lost, >> so who knows what's going to happen now. >> But Hillary's around. What is she doing? >> She's uh probably eating [ __ ]. >> Ah. You think? >> I hope. I mean, she needs a relief. [laughter] This guy, this lady, I kind. of [snorts] like Hillary just cuz she's, you know, she got cheated on publicly. with the Monica thing. Now she's doing. the Epstein's Island stuff. She lost the. presidential race and she's still out. there. She's kind of a badass. I would.

kill myself at this point. >> Well, she's also got like a list of. people that have mysteriously. disappeared. >> Oh, is that right? >> That are attached to her and Bill. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. You don't know about that? >> No. For real? >> You don't know about the Clinton body. count? >> I know Norm was on the View years ago. and he said Clinton killed a guy. >> Yeah, he said killed a bunch of people. I think. >> that's where I get my information. >> It's a [snorts] good way to get it from. the view. [laughter]. >> Super solid detailed information, >> but she's getting like grilled by the. Epstein people or about Epstein and.

she's just like going off. >> and Bill's reminiscing. >> Well, she walked she stormed out because. uh Lauren Boowbert took a picture of. her. >> Oh. >> And posted online like that's it. I'm. leaving. >> Like, how are you allowed to leave? >> Yeah, exactly. >> Because somebody took a picture. Sit the. [ __ ] down. You're not even in office. anymore. You're just a civilian. Sit. your [ __ ] ass down and answer the. questions. >> Yeah. >> Like, it's just an excuse to leave. >> But you got to head to Bill. He's. denying till he dies. >> I did nothing. I was only there for.

humanitarian purposes. >> We got photos and everything. >> I was just getting massages and hugging. nice people. [laughter]. >> Exactly. Nothing untoward was done to me. or anyone else that was there as far as. I know. [laughter]. >> This is pretty good. >> I didn't see that side of Jeffrey. Epstein. >> You got to bring this back. >> Hey, look. >> Look at this guy. We got photo evidence. >> That lady smiling. If she claims victim,

I call horseshit. She looks like she's. having a good time. Also, that's a. woman, you know. It's like once you're a. woman, okay? You know, unless someone's. holding a gun to your head, if we're. talking about children, we're talking. about a different thing. But there's a. lot of these ladies that were grown. women when they were doing this. And the. emails that were exchanged between. Epstein and these women, like they were. well aware of what's going on. At least. some of them were. There was this. Russian lady was talking. She was. recruiting girls. She was saying, "This.

one's this one's a fat ass. She needs to. lose some weight." Like, she's trying to. get these girls to work with Epstein, >> right? Who? Just lane. >> No, wasn't just lane. It was some other. Russian lady. >> Oh, damn. >> Like these some of these ladies at least. were like, look, the real criticism, the. real legitimate criticism is were there. underage girls involved? Now, clearly. they were in Epstein's past. He went he. went to jail for it. The whole Palm. Beach thing with the underage massuses,

>> but some of these are just ladies who. did bad things. They made bad decisions. and they probably wound up on that. island for money. >> Yeah. Okay. Couple of horror moves. >> Hey, where you going, buddy? Charlie, >> you snuck out, little [ __ ]. >> I'm a little worried about. >> I was hoping he looked like he was. totally calm just sitting in that chair. Oh, Jamie's got him now, >> bro. You're locked up. >> Jamie's used to having a little dog in. his lap. Oh, he's giving you kisses.

>> Damn. [snorts] Not a Rogan fan, huh? Doesn't like the pot. He's bored. No, he. just he just doesn't know this. environment. I think he's a little. weirded out. And then he was out there. with the mountain lion, stuffed mountain. lion, the alligators like and the. werewolf. He's like, "What the [ __ ] is. this place?" He's never been here. before. >> And there's weed smoke. There's dogs. >> I think he's a little weirded out. The. cigars, everything. Whiskey in here. He. probably smells that. >> Speaking of which, you got any of those. stoies? >> Yeah, let's bust them out. >> I would love a stogy. >> Let's go. >> Hell yeah. Boy, see, I can't keep up.

with all the news. cuz you know about. Epstein, you know about Iran, you know. about Israel, you know about Hillary. This is uh. >> I barely know. I'm off uh social media. I've been off social media for a while. The only time I'm on is when someone. sends me something funny. >> Oh yeah. >> Then I go and check it and then I find. myself scrolling for like 30 seconds and. I stop. >> That's how they get to. >> stop [ __ ] scrolling. >> It's impossible. >> Um these so good at it. >> These say knuckle sandwich. Where did. these come from? M.

>> knuckle sandwich is uh. that can't be the same place because. there's a isn't there a place there's. knuckle sandwich which is the sandwich. truck in Austin which is awesome. >> and Chris Brown's [snorts] album. >> Fury cigars. >> oh these are Guy Fury cigars. All right, let's hope they're good. >> Did you see that Bachelorette who got. kicked off for beating the [ __ ] out of. her husband? Yo, for real on the show, my wife's a big uh reality lady and uh.

>> that's healthy. >> I know, right? >> She loves it. All of us. 90-Day Fiance. >> Love that [ __ ]. >> They love it. That and true crime. >> Yes. Right. Is it weird? >> Oh, yeah. >> I get the true crime because they don't. really commit those kind of violent. acts. So, they probably need to. understand like the male mind, >> right? >> That makes sense to me. >> Yeah. >> But what I don't understand is the I. mean, I don't know. Maybe I'm just. stuck up. >> It's almost time for spring break. So, maybe you're headed to the beach or. maybe you're taking the kids on a road.

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>> Well, they say it's biological. They're. like, "Oh, I'm learning how to avoid. these scary. >> moment." No, I get that because it is. like my daughters, young daughters, they. all love it. Everyone loves it. Their. friends love it. Yeah. >> It's like the number one show with. ladies. >> Oh yeah. >> Like the [snorts] number one podcast. with ladies is True Crime. >> It's great. >> You know what the number two show for. ladies is? >> What? >> You're on it. >> Hey, get out of here. Really? >> Number one with black people, too. Holla. >> Hey, take that. Shay Shay.

>> Holla. >> All right. >> Shout out to all my African-American. friends. >> Hell yeah. >> Let's [ __ ] go. These are not bad. Guy. Ferry. Let's go, guy. >> I love Guy. >> He's a fun dude. >> Cool dude. >> Got a bunch of yellow cars, though. That's odd. >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, he's not the not the. best fashion sense, you know, shirts. with flames on it, frosted tips. >> Yeah. But you're paying attention. >> That's true. >> If you want to be a chef and you want to.

be like a celebrity chef, you got to. either be a great narrator and a great. writer like Bourdain. Yeah. >> Or you got to be like angry. >> like Gordon Ramsey. Gordon Ramsay. You. know, >> that's true. But what what happened to. chef when I was a kid? Chefs were like. fat guys with beards and now they all. have they're jacked with tats. >> Yeah. Well, they're all they all look. like artists cuz they are artists, >> I guess. But it's. >> I I didn't really think of that until I. watched Bourdain show and then I was. like, "Oh, these guys are making. temporary art.". >> That's true. Then you get to eat it.

>> Yeah. But it is art. >> It is art. Yeah. They're mixing oils. There's a lot of chemistry involved. >> Mhm. >> But they kind of went the same path as. porn stars. Porn stars used to be like. voluuptuous and hairy bush and now. they're all like [laughter]. they're all like MMA fighters. They're. jacked and taking it in the ass. It's wild. They're all tatted up and. pierced and [ __ ]. >> One of the things that I've been. watching a lot when the world is going. completely crazy. I watch people making. street food in other countries. >> Oh, that's. >> with no language, no talking. It's all.

ASMR. It's all them cooking. >> Oh, yeah. No regulations either. >> Bring them over here. Bring them over. here. Come on. They're They're not. washing hands over there. >> Charar. Charar, have a seat. >> And they'll use roadkill or whatever. Like they don't they don't give a [ __ ]. >> No, they're they they're using good. food. It was Afghanistan. They were. making roast chicken. >> Oh, come on, >> dude. I'm telling you. I I'll send it to. Jamie and you'll watch. >> It's exciting. >> I mean, I ate halal trucks for 10 years. when I was broke in New York. Great. >> They're great. >> They are great. >> But I could be eating pigeon and uh.

>> you probably are. >> children. >> Not children, but definitely pigeon. Probably a pigeon's made it into your. mouth a couple of times. >> All right, >> let me find these [ __ ] I watch. so much too. YouTube is my number one. thing since I'm off social media. >> I love it. >> It's my number one thing for. distraction. >> Whoa. >> Oh, yeah. This is exactly Jamie, you're. the best. This is it. Most cheap food in. Afghanistan. This guy uh he sets up, they cook all this stuff and you you.

watch I mean it's like a 40minute video. or something. How long is it? >> Yeah. Yeah, it's like a 40 40minute. video. I watched the whole thing just. like at home chilling after a long day's. work just watching people cook street. food in Afghanistan. It looks [ __ ]. delicious. >> Look at those spices. My god. >> Yeah. And they they have uh meat in this. stew pot and they Well, it's like, you. know, a big walk it looks like. >> Yeah. >> And they boil it up with all this salt. and all these herbs and spices. And then.

they got these roast chickens and they. take these chickens and they stick them. in spikes. If you back up the video a. little bit, it's earlier in the video. You saw they take these chickens and. they just have this big flame in the. middle. >> and then then they stick these chickens. all around the flame. >> This is hell for a vegan. >> The shape of that fun fact. I think if. this is true, uh, that's because that's. they used to flip their shields upside. down and [groaning]. >> back. It's sort of like what the. Genghaskhan stir fry. >> that makes sense grill.

>> I love it. >> That makes sense. >> Yeah, man. >> Totally makes sense. >> Would it be great if the end is just a. big drone strike? [laughter]. >> Well, we don't bomb Afghanistan anymore. We send them money. >> Oh, is that right? >> Now we send the Taliban money, >> man. We send them a ton of money. >> We hook up everybody. Ukraine. >> Yeah. should go to back to the chickens. though if you back up. >> Whoa. He's got a little brush there. >> No, you Yeah, there it is. So, this is. how he does it. So, they have this fire. in the middle and they just take these. chickens on a stick and they just rotate. them. >> and they put them in the center. They. put the fire in the center and the. chickens all around them and they rotate.

them. I got so hungry. I had to go in. the kitchen and make myself food. afterwards. >> This is a chicken holocaust. >> Yeah, it looks good, right? >> Man, it does look amazing. >> Yeah, dude. It looks [ __ ] delicious. >> I mean, you you ever get the rotisserie. chicken at the grocery store? Oh, nothing better. >> Pretty good. >> It's good. You just eat it with a knife. and fork. No, no. Uh, no nothing. >> I know you like that's a good thing to. do when you just want to be completely. distracted. That's what I like when I I. like watching people make like tables.

>> Yes. >> Furniture and [ __ ]. >> That that the horse hoof cleaning is. great. >> I watch that too. Friers. >> What is that? Is that something inis? I. think from inate old times. >> It must be. >> It must be. >> like there's a nail in his hoof. Oh, get. it out. >> Get it out. Get the gunk out. >> Help the horse. >> Yeah. And the horse loves it. That's a. good one. What else is good? Uh, the. pressure washing is kind of fun. That's. when I'm really high. I take an edible. I just watch a guy. He's just washing a. wall and it goes from black toast to. cement. 32 million views.

>> 32 million. >> Okay. So, what is that? Why Why are we. so interested in watching people clean. up horse hooves? >> Well, I think part of it is it doesn't. hurt the horse and it looks like it. would. So that's kind of fascinating. because it's all what is that like. cartilage or. >> That's all like fingernail stuff. I. guess giant fat fingernails. >> Wow. >> That's what it's like. I mean that's. what a horse hoo is. And if they don't. take care of the hooves, they get real. weird and they look like like Arab shoes. where they like curl up at the tips. >> Yeah. Right. Right there.

>> Like that. Like that. >> There it is. >> So this must be somebody just like. completely neglected that poor horse. >> But what did horses do in the uh. >> They wear off from running around. >> Oh, I see. >> Yeah. Just like a dog's fingernails. Like you have to trim your dog's nails. Unless the dogs run around outside a lot. and then you don't have to do anything. >> Got it. >> Oh, the dogs all happy now. >> They never stop growing. >> Rat teeth don't stop grow, but beaver. teeth don't. Right. >> Oh, is that right? I didn't know. >> Oh, shearing sheep. >> Oh, this is good stuff. >> Wow. >> Isn't it amazing how many views How many.

How many views does that have? >> Guess. >> Uh, yeah. 23 million. >> I'm going to go. >> 3 million subscribers on the channel. >> I'm going to go 80 million. [laughter]. 3 million subscribers. >> 3.7. >> 3.7 million. >> This is just a great guy. >> Look at that. There's another guy that I. love. It's the channel's called. Wilderness Cooking. >> And this guy lives in Azerbaijan and he. cooks in the mountains. He always looks. delicious. And then at the end of it, he. has a bite of it and he looks at you and. he goes super. [laughter].

>> He like puts gives you a thumb up and. it's a great channel. It's And that. guy's got millions and millions of. views, this dude. So he's always like he. catches fish and he does all the things. He he makes his own fire and he's always. cooking in weird ways. >> Oh, see this guy's way happier than all. of us. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's having a good. time. Well, he lives in peaceful. mountains. He's making delicious food. >> Mhm. Imagine him on Cameo just saying. super. He could make a billion dollars. >> Yeah. But happy birthday. Super.

>> Wow. >> Who's who makes the most on Cameo? They're still doing that. >> Yeah. >> Really? Yeah. >> Who's like the number one earner on. Cameo? >> That's a great question. >> Sure. Dynamite had a run. It's got to be. somebody with a catchphrase. >> Is Jimmy Walker still alive? >> Oh, yeah. >> Is he still toring? >> I'd imagine. I don't know how he pays. the bills. >> These old guys, you wonder how they have. money, >> right? >> Can that last like how long does. Dynamite, >> you know what I worry about? Guys who. were like middle axe like.

>> 20 years ago and they just faded out. Like what are you doing? >> I assume Uber board. John Kira. >> John Kira is number one. >> Yeah, >> that's crazy. >> So, he does cameos. >> Who's that? I know who that is. >> Who are all the John Kira? Former CIA. guy. Went to jail. Yeah. They they put. him in jail. A golfer. >> That's my buddy Bob. >> Oh, you know him? >> Yeah. >> And he's number two. >> Yeah. >> How much money is he making? >> I mean, he does a lot of these. He was.

always in a fight like with Santa during. Christmas time. John Guden's been up here for a while, but he's not currently on here. >> Oh, that dude Soy Tiet, the guy who. sings. >> Oh, yeah. He's fun. >> Yeah. And then who's Red? Is that one of. the Island Boys? >> Who's that guy in the lower left corner? >> Oh, wow. That guy. >> Those guys are still at it. >> Then the rest of these I don't know who. they are. >> So, John Kira costs $179. >> Bam. >> For one of those. >> Oh, bam. >> Marggera is in there. >> Good for him. >> Who else is in there? Anybody you know?

>> No. >> No. names I do not recognize. Nick. Foley. >> Interesting. >> Oh, Red Dead Redemption guy. >> Oh, Nick Foley the uh wrestler. >> There you go. >> How odd. >> What What an odd thing. >> Who's buying a Rapaort? >> President Donald Trump parody is number. 37. >> Michael Rapaort. >> He's screaming enough for free. >> Why would you Oh, Buffer has got to be. up there. >> Of course, Buffer. >> I've seen people uh in a hotel they've. like heard him doing them. >> Oh, yeah. I've seen him do all that.

stuff. I've seen him do them. I' I've. been with him when he's doing them. >> How crazy his story with his brother? >> Crazy. >> Isn't that bananas? >> Yeah. >> That kind of [ __ ] blows my mind. >> Didn't even know his brother till they. were like 30. >> and they just found each other with the. with the voice both fighting. >> Yeah. Well, he was like the budget. buffer in the beginning. Like he was. like, if you couldn't afford Michael, you got Bruce. But now Bruce is way. better than Michael. No disrespect to. Michael, but Michael gets, you know, Michael's smooth. Let's get ready to.

rumble. Which is perfect for boxing, but. Bruce is perfect for MMA. >> Yeah, he's got more [ __ ] hyped. >> Oh yeah, he's got the suit on. >> He's going to drop dead doing that one. day. We've all called it. >> cuz he gets beat red and now he's like. deep in his 60s. I don't know how old he. is. >> And he parties too, I think. >> Bruce parties. >> Oh yeah. >> How do you know? >> There's a bunch of videos of him. He got. into a fist fight in an elevator with an. MMA fighter. >> Oh, that was a Frank Trigg. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Kind of a fist fight. like a little bit. of a pushing shoving. Probably Frank. Trigg would literally kill him.

>> I know. That's why I'm impressed cuz he. he he stood up to him. >> Frank Trigg was a animal when he was. young. >> Yeah, I would not. >> This was like I think it was when Frank. was still fighting. >> That's crazy. >> I don't think Frank really fought him. back. >> Ah, >> I think that would be a very quick. encounter. >> But just the fact that he he was up for. it. >> I don't know what really happened. >> I think the story is online somewhere. But. >> yeah, it's Bruce's version of the story. Yeah, it's true. >> You know what I mean? I don't know. Not. that Bruce is lying. Bruce might have. thought he was in a fight and Frank.

might have thought it was hilarious. Right. Right. >> I don't know. >> Yeah. >> But Bruce uh did martial arts most of. his life. >> The craziest coincidence of all. And get. get your fingers ready. J Mo. >> Dennis the Menace the cartoon. was invented in England and in America. on the same day. >> What? >> Put that your pipe and jizz on it. Get. get that cooking. >> Oh yeah. because they were like, "Oh, you must have stolen this." So, they. went back and and researched it. They. were both invented. Same character, same.

name on the same day and the same year. >> That makes no sense, >> isn't it? Bananas. My brain blew up. >> That literally makes no sense. >> It's crazy. So, that's a fun one. >> How is that possible? >> I don't know. Just, you know, monkeys. writing on a typewriter. Eventually, you. get Shakespeare. Two guys thinking of. the same thing, same day, across the. pond. >> Maybe that's one of those things like. what is that called? like um like. Baronstein bears the mandala effect. >> Oh yeah, >> that's not the same thing cuz that's.

like when it's not real. This is. something that's real. >> That's true. >> Right. That's right. Right. No, I'm. thinking of the wrong thing. [laughter]. >> What does Perplexity [snorts]. say? Our lovely AI sponsor, Perplexity. says there's actually two completely. separate Dennis the Menace comic strip. characters that debuted almost. simultaneously in 1951, created. independently in the UK and the US. So, how would they even know about each. other back then? >> Oh, sorry. It's 17th and 12th. So, they're five days apart. >> Who started first? British was the 17th. >> Okay. >> On sale. Issue dated 17 March. On sale.

12 March created by these guys. American. on 12 March. No, like basically the same. day on sale. On sale the same day. >> Unbelievable. Blonde hairs overalls. images. >> And it said, hold go back to what the. saying was again. It said, "Your son is. a menace." Is did they both say that? No. >> I don't know. >> Wow. Both mischievous little boys, but.

they look different. UK Dennis has black. hair, >> red and black jumper. US Dennis, blonde. hair, overalls. They live in different. fictional worlds. Creators worked. entirely independently. No evidence. Either knew about the other before. publication. So, it's treated as a. famous coincidence rather than copying. Wow. >> Unreal. [snorts] There they are side by. side. >> Wow. >> That kind of [ __ ] is kooky. >> That's weird. That's like when rats you. like if you teach a rat how to get out.

of a maze on the east coast, rats on the. west coast get out of the maze quicker. >> No [ __ ] way. >> Yeah. There's a a guy named Rupert. Sheldrick. He calls it morphic. resonance. He thinks there's there some. sort of like communication that all. animals have with each other all over. the world that we can't quantify, that. we can't measure, but it seems real. >> Yeah. Well, apparently I got caught in. an ant pile when I was a kid and all the. ants swarmed on me and they all bit me. at once. I felt it. I was like, "Ah!" It.

was just one big just wave of pain. >> Oh, yeah. >> They communicated. >> Well, ants just immediately attack. though as soon as you get on the antill. But ants are they're on another level. >> You hear about the lady that fell uh she. was her parachute didn't deploy but she. landed in an ant pile of fire ants. >> and she survived because she was bit. like a thousand times by these fire ants. and somehow or another the ant bites and. the adrenaline that caused it helped.

Hey, don't jump down. Stay up there. buddy is what what kept her alive. >> What? >> Yeah. >> Wow. That's when you start going. religion [ __ ]. >> I know. >> Like, how did that happen? >> Stay up here, buddy. Stay up here. >> Ant bites. >> Yeah. 1999, her parachute malfunction. She fell 4,500 ft. Her backup parachute. opened at 700 feet, but quickly. deflated. She continued to plummet. towards the ground at 80 mph. Miraculously, she survived the fall.

thanks to the fact she landed directly. on a mound of fire ants. Doctors believe. the intense shock of being stung over. 200 times by the ants released a surge. of adrenaline which kept her heart. beating. >> Oh, it's like a clear She got cleared by. ants. >> Isn't that nuts? >> That is kooky. It's like when those guys. jump off the Golden Gate Bridge and a. seal a guy jump off, broke all his bones. and a seal pushed him to the shore. >> Whoa. >> That's in the documentary The Bridge and. >> a friend of mine did that died.

>> Really? >> Yeah. He killed himself. >> It's the number one spot to kill. yourself. Yeah, RIP Tony Anagoni. He's a. buddy of mine that uh was a professional. pool player that uh I did commentary. with him on a pool match in the 90s. >> He was in a book called Playing Off the. Rail is a great book by this guy uh. David McCumber who was Hunter S. Thompson's editor. >> Ah, >> in I want to say Seattle, something like. that. I forget what newspaper, but um. when Hunter was like off the rails and. out of his [ __ ] mind too, it's.

perfect. another different kind of off. the rail, right? >> So, he followed my friend Tony all. across the country uh gambling. They. It's a great book about like pool. hustling. >> Yeah. >> Tony was like a world class professional. pool player and they went around the. country gambling and I don't know what. happened with him but I lost touch with. them and then um. >> was he Golden Gate? >> Yeah. >> Oh, damn. It's like they all know to go. there. >> Well, he was a San Francisco guy. He. lived up there his whole life and um I. got this message from a friend of mine.

Tony jumped off the bridge. I was like, "No.". >> Wow. [sighs]. >> Crazy. Well, it's weird cuz I I watch. matches sometimes on YouTube and he's. doing the commentary for the matches. >> Oh, that's crazy. >> It's so strange cuz he seems so happy. He's enjoying himself. They're cracking. up and I'm like, "What is it that makes. someone want to end it?" You know, what. is it? like what was I guess he had like. some failed business ventures and he was. going bankrupt and. >> well depression is you know way was way. more uh un researched back then yeah you.

know you probably just thought ah. something's wrong with me I got to end. this pain. >> but damn but yeah everybody who lived. they said each of them said separately. right when my hand left the rail I was I. I regretted it. >> oh yeah they all said every single one. they all said that yeah everybody who. lives. >> so don't do It's a terrible idea. >> Yeah. >> Do you remember the one in downtown LA. where the guy was like on I think he. shot himself with a shotgun. He was like.

standing on the edge of a bridge and it. was live on TV. >> Do you remember that one? There was like. a standoff. They were trying to get him. to not jump, but he had a shotgun. I'm I. think I'm conflating it. >> Pull it up. >> But I'm pretty sure he blew his brains. out on TV. >> Damn. I knew about the fat guy with the. gun in the mouth. The old politician. guy. Was he a judge? Was he a dirty. maybe a judge? >> A dirty judge. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> That's that song. Hey man, nice shot. >> Exactly. Yeah. And that was a hot video. when I was a kid. Oh yeah. What is it?

Taste of death or faces. >> Budwire. That's it. >> That was one of the first ones where you. got to see a guy die. Like a viral. video. He put a giant gun in his mouth. Literally 44. >> And everybody go, "No, no, don't do it.". >> Oh, great. He's like, "Stay, relax, everyone. Stay calm." They just shoved. it in his mouth and boom, >> blew the top of his dome off. >> And now we just see people getting shot. on Twitter every 10 seconds. >> every day. >> I mean, the Kirk thing, I remember. waking up and being like, "Good God, >> the Kirk thing is weird." The Kirk thing.

is weird because now there's video. footage from behind. >> Is that right? >> Yeah. It it I mean, the round that he. was supposedly shot with was a 30 odd. six, which is a big round. That's a. round that you kill a moose with. >> And it doesn't even have an exit wound, >> right? >> It don't make no sense. It makes zero. sense. >> Well, you hear about this Joe Kent. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. They told him not to research or. investigate. >> Yes. >> So, what's up with that? >> He said that they were told to stop. their investigation. >> Yeah. >> And that they were going to handle it.

>> and he just resigned. >> And meanwhile, have they handled it? Like, we haven't seen that guy, the the. guy who loves furries who supposedly. killed Charlie Kirk. >> Tyler. >> Robinson. Yeah. >> Yeah. We haven't seen him talk. He. hasn't said he did it. He hasn't said he. didn't do it. There's no no one like. independent video of him talking about. it. >> Yeah. >> And then there was footage of him like. at a yogurt shop. >> like way across town like 20 minutes. later. The whole thing is like super. sus. >> It's similar with the guy who shot Trump. whatever his name was. He had three.

names. >> Oh yeah. That kid that kid was in a. Black Rockck commercial two years. before. >> He had no silverware. And look. >> his house was professionally scrubbed. >> And no one can ask questions about that. We can't uh deep dive on that. If you. do, you're a conspiracy theorist. >> He shot a a presidential elect. >> Well, yeah. Not only that, but isn't. that a [ __ ] conspiracy? Like, that's. a conspiracy. Conspired to murder the. president of the United States. >> And it seems like he had help. How the.

[ __ ] did he get up onto that roof? How. did they not have people on that roof? They said the slope was too steep. Yeah. >> Meanwhile, there were snipers on another. roof that had a sharper angled roof. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then he has no. social media. He has no history. It's. all kooky. >> Super suspect. >> Yeah, we can't ask questions or else. we're [ __ ]. >> Well, not only that, the the kooky. people online now think that that was. staged and that, you know, Trump had. that guy shoot his ear. Like, you don't. know jack [ __ ] about guns. If you think.

that that was staged, >> I will say the flag going up with the. photo op was pretty was pretty uh. perfect. >> But sometimes that's like Dennis the. Menace. [ __ ] just lines up perfectly, >> I guess. So, >> you know what I mean? Sometimes weird. stuff happens. They like, "How is this. so perfect?". >> Right. Right. >> Yeah. We got to get to the bottom of. that, man. >> He got shot in the ear, man. I saw his. [ __ ] ear. He had like a little mark. on his ear. >> I remember that. >> Get Get Nick Shirley on this [ __ ] He's. cracking all kinds of cases, >> bro. They The stuff that he just found.

in California is bonkers. >> If you see that guy in your town, you're. [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> He's a a persistent little queef. That. guy. Did you see what the governor. posted with Newsome's press office. posted? They posted a photo of Nick. Shirley, like a fake Nick Shirley, like. a meme, like Nick Shirley peeking into. windows. Like, hey, he's doing your job. [laughter]. >> He's uncovering fraud and what you're. doing is mocking him, >> right? You should go, "Oh [ __ ] this. fraud.". >> Yeah, >> I'm the governor. They should just open.

up the investigations into all these. places immediately if you cared. But all. they want to do is just obfuscate, cover. it up, make it look silly. >> Yeah. >> Make it look like he's something. whatever he is. White supremacist. >> Right. Right. >> Whatever. MAGA. Phil, come up with a. name. >> I don't want to get into it. My kid's at. a Somali daycare right now, so I don't. want to go. I. >> don't want to say anything crazy. >> But yeah, that was that was all kooky. And look, I don't know what's real and. what isn't anymore, you know? And you if.

you ask questions, you're this. You get. labeled. I don't know. >> I know. >> It's a wacky time. And. >> no one's happy. >> It's uh a time where we've never had. more information and no one's less sure. about anything. >> Yes. And the same with lone. We're more. lonely than ever. And we have more. connectivity than ever. >> Yeah. But it's the kind of connectivity. that people have just it's not that's. why I'm off social media. It's just not. good for you. It's not I hop on to post. things and I get the [ __ ] out of there. >> But you seem to know a ton of stuff. So. I'm like, how are you off social media,

but also knowledgeable? >> Google news feed and then things that. inform people send me. >> I rely on people sending me things now, which is way better cuz everybody's. always sending you things that are Have. you seen this [ __ ] Holy [ __ ]. >> I say something yesterday about that. Always. >> YouTube delete it. >> I don't think they did. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. I think it's back or if it was. deleted, it was pulled back up. The Nick. Shirley thing. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, good. >> Because other people said, "I found it. It's It's right here." So, it might have. just been a glitch, >> right? >> Or it might have been they thought about.

deleting it and someone said, "That's. going to make it worse.". >> Exactly. Exactly. >> It definitely makes it worse. But. >> but if it is true, I don't know if it. all is true with the fraud and. everything, but I'm like, can we stop. it? Can we get the money back? Can we. help people who are paying taxes who are. not getting anything out of it, and it's. all going to some guy in a cyber truck? like when where where's the redemption? Where's the uh comeuppance of the. >> Well, this is the thing that Elon Musk. told me about during the Doge stuff. He. said the biggest fraud in this country.

is Medicare fraud, Medicaid fraud. He's. like, and that if that gets he like I. don't even want to talk about it cuz I. don't want them to kill me. >> He literally said that. He's like, we're. talking about hundreds of billions of. dollars in fraud. >> But don't we have the worst healthcare. or whatever? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Huh. >> But it doesn't matter. It's not about. actual healthcare. It's about using the. system to extract money, pretending you. have a daycare, pretending you have a. hospice, pretending you have a this and. a that. And really, you're just. >> lying about who's there and collecting.

checks from the government. Cuz if you. have a bunch of clients, like there was. one place in Minneapolis that was saying. they were feeding like 5,000 people a. day. They never saw more than 40 people. there. They investigated like this is. just they're just taking money. Yeah. >> And they're getting millions and. millions of dollars. >> It's crazy. But you got to think if this. thing has been going on for so long, they probably have a whole system. No. one's ever investigated it. It's been. happening for over a decade and they. just like this is what we do and they. they're all just cashing in. >> Yeah. But I don't know. Like my friend.

lives in Minneapolis. He's an old pal. and he's like I've known Tim Walls my. whole life. He was always the governor. and he's a nice guy. But then you see. this [ __ ] and you're like so is he. stupid or is he corrupt? Well, you can. know someone and think they're a nice. guy because they're a nice guy to you. >> You know what I mean? Like I know a lot. of people and people say that guy's a. piece of [ __ ] I'm like. [sighs and gasps] maybe. But to me, all. I can judge is how he treats me and how. he talks to me, but he's going to talk. different to me than he's going to talk.

to people that don't matter. >> to him. >> Yeah. And you only know of his online. perception. >> Tim Walsh just seems weird. Like it just. there's no humans that I know like that. that wave like that that walk around. like this. It's just not normal. behavior. >> Yeah. >> And he stopped his run for reelection. >> I saw. >> because of this Minneapolis fraud. >> So there's something to it. >> But he just wants some acknowledgement. You just want them to go like gez that. is crazy. Holy [ __ ] But instead it's.

like shut it down. Don't listen to that. guy. I just just just stop making me. feel crazy. >> You're not crazy. It's real. It's real. I mean, maybe Nick Shirley 90 maybe 100%. of it isn't fraudulent that he. uncovered. Maybe some of it's legit, but. there's definitely some fraud involved. And it's enough that. >> you realize like this is you're talking. about enormous amounts of money. And how. long's this been going on? And also, who's getting paid? Is anybody getting. backdoor deals? Is there any offshore.

accounts that other people have access. to and they're funneling money and no. one knows about it? Well, let's paper. trail this [ __ ] and get to something. We. don't make any arrests like all the. Epstein guys are out there in in England. and Norway. They they popped a few guys. >> Well, that was what the Doge stuff was. all about. That was the the whole. purpose for it all. >> Yeah. >> The whole purpose for the Doge stuff was. to try to uncover a lot of this stuff. And they found [ __ ] tons of it. Hundreds of billions of dollars in. fraud. And what happened to those guys? Those guys are getting, you know, they're getting questioned now.

And people are, you know, the guys, the. Doge guys are like having to give. testimony. They're like, like, you know, you shut down important government. functions. Like, actually, >> these [ __ ] things that No, nothing. was getting done. And these people are. making enormous amounts of money. >> Mhm. >> It's like, did you see that [ __ ]. bridge that they're building in. California? I did. The wild, the. mountain lions. >> Yeah. >> It's over hund00 million. I know. >> And they need more money. >> for a [ __ ] bridge. >> I know. Meanwhile, Colorado built built.

one, a similar one for a fraction of the. cost. >> I think it was 5 million. >> Yeah. A fraction of the cost and and. completed it and it's done. And in. California, like we need more money to. save the fox. >> Well, there's so many regulations that. you can't there's so much red tape you. can't get anywhere. >> I It's a little bit of that, but they're. blaming tariffs in the government, but. shut up. >> Shut up. I doubt I doubt that's what it. is. I doubt it's $100 million and you. can't finish it because of tariffs. That. don't make any sense. >> We're still waiting on the bullet train. that started 25 years ago.

>> Oh, that was billions. >> Billions. >> Billions. Still not done. >> Nothing. >> Meanwhile, Japan is whizzing all over. the place at light speed. >> Have you ever seen I think it's in. China. There's one that they debuted. They showed in China and it's just. whizzing by these people and you get to. see how fast it is in real time when. you're standing next to it. >> No. >> It's bonkers, dude. >> Man, >> it's just. >> And you just think the problem with that. is how much track is there? >> There's a lot of track. Yeah. >> How many psychos are out there? They. could just lay something on the track.

[laughter]. >> Well, that's more American. They don't. do that [ __ ]. >> They're raised better. >> Someone can do it. >> They could, but they're Japanese. They're repressed. So, they get it all. out with those those trains, [laughter]. >> right? It's like Nick Shirley. He's a. virgin, so he's uh he's motivated. >> Yeah, that's weird, right? >> Yeah, that's a little weird. But I'd. rather an incel do that [ __ ] than uh, you know, shoot up a place. Well, there's a lot of these virgin. influencers now. >> Yeah, >> Nick Fuentes is a virgin, allegedly.

>> This guy's a virgin. >> I don't trust I don't I don't know about. these virgins. That That's uh feels. unnatural. Don't get laid. You're young. You're. >> It's very unnormal. >> Very very strange. >> Very. >> It's like Zoran. I don't trust an Indian. who never had a job. >> Is he Indian? >> Yeah. >> Mani, >> I believe he's Indian. >> Is he? >> Oh, yeah. >> Is that what he is? >> I think he's from Africa, but he's he is. Indian. >> Yeah, he's from Africa. But have you you. never had a job? Every Indian guy I know. is the hardest working dude on the. planet. >> He's never had a job at all. >> No, I think he's a rapper.

>> Mom Donny's never had a job. >> No, I don't believe so. This is his. first gig. >> That's crazy. >> I know. It's. >> Imagine your first gig. You're the mayor. of New York City on one hand. Super. impressive. >> Very impressive. >> First gig. Way to go. This guy's The. sky's is the limit for this guy. >> I know. >> His first job he was the mayor of New. York City. >> Yeah. It's like losing your virginity. to, you know, Heidi Clume. But I think. he won because he said he's not going to. Israel. >> That was smart. And affordability. >> Yeah. >> New York's so expensive.

>> Well, also, yeah, people are like, "We're tired of the Well, the the. narrative is the rich people are causing. all your problems, and we need to tax. the rich people." But meanwhile, the. rich people in New York are responsible. for more than 50% of the taxes. >> Sure. Well, Hokll just said, "Please. come back." Did you see that clip? >> Yeah. Good luck. >> Good luck. Good luck. >> And I think he seems like a nice guy. I. think he's got good intentions, but it. just uh you know, you need some. experience and you need money cuz he. keeps saying free. Free buses, free. healthcare, free childare, and you're. like, >> "Stop saying free. That should be. illegal cuz someone has to pay for it,

>> right? There's nothing free. >> Nothing is free. >> You're just adding to the bureaucracy. You're adding to the government waste. You're adding to the possibility of. fraud. >> And meanwhile, you're just releasing. people on the on the streets.". >> Yeah. And I think I have a theory that. Muslim is cool. Muslim is like the new. black. It's cool. Muslim's hip now. It's. different. It's exotic. It's fun. >> But I think they the problem is people. conflate Muslim and Islamist. >> and two very different things. I know a.

lot of Muslims. They're great people. >> Totally. >> But Islamists are people that want a. global caliphate and they want, you. know, they want death to the infidels. >> This is the difference between Iran and. like Saudi Arabia. Like Saudi Arabia are. Muslims. The Iranians are Islamists. They're state sponsored terrorism, the. whole deal. >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, any extreme, you know, like a hidic Jew versus Paul Rudd. >> Yes. >> You know, Paul Rudd's a fun guy, has a. cocktail, he's a funny movie, and then a. hidic Jew is like, "All right, let me.

cut your foreskin off and suck the. blood, >> right? Give you herpes." or these crazy. [ __ ] right-wing radical Christian. nationalists that think that we're. supposed to be over in Israel so that. Jesus can come back on a white horse. [laughter]. >> Have you seen that? >> No. No. >> Oh, Jamie, pull that story up that I. sent you or I could resend it to you if. you want. There there's a crazy story. that was on Yahoo about this guy who's a. non-commissioned officer that went to a. military debriefing. So, it was like a a.

an operation readiness meeting or a war. meeting. And one of these [ __ ] guys, one of these highle commanders says, "Don't be worried because Trump is. anointed by Jesus Christ to bring back. the return.". >> Oh no. >> To bring back Jesus's return on Earth. Commander claimed Trump was anointed by. Jesus to cause Armageddon to justify the. Iran tax. >> Wow. >> See, that's like up there with Allah. will protect me. >> Exactly. >> Same [ __ ]. >> It's the same [ __ ] It's just coming. from a different religion, but it's the.

same mindset. Like look at what he said. Um see what he said. Did you find the actual quote? [snorts]. >> He urges to tell our troops this is all. part of God's divine plan. Specifically. reference numerous citations out of the. book of Revelations referring to. Armageddon and the imminent return of. Jesus Christ. >> And he said added the superior had a big. grin on his face when he said all of. this which made his message seem even. more crazy.

>> Wow. Bro, >> scary. >> That's just as scary. Those are just as. scary as suicide bombers. It's like. people that are like true believers in. something that, you know, objectively. sounds a lot like nonsense. >> I would say there's less blowing up. [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> With the extreme Christian guy. >> Sure. Because they won. Go back to the. Inquisition. >> when they were [ __ ] torturing people. >> That's a good point. you know, people. for, you know, for God's word or for, you know, to for God service in service.

of God have done some wild [ __ ] Oh, yeah. >> But it's just people, you know, it's. just people when they get into positions. of radical belief, >> they just they go nutty. >> Yeah. It's like a cult. The cult is just. a microcosm of a full religion. >> Exactly. >> You know, it's just some crazy guy who's. like, I'm going to [ __ ] all of you and. then we'll drink Kool-Aid. I used to do. a joke about it where I said, "A cult is. a thing where a guy creates it and that. guy knows it's [ __ ] In a religion, that guy's dead.".

>> Wait a minute. >> Yeah. >> Oh, I see. >> Religion, the guy who created it is. dead. [laughter]. >> Oh, right. Right. >> So, it's like everybody just believes. >> Yeah. >> But if in a cult, you know, like David. Caresh or, you know, fill in the blank, the Mooneyies, whatever it is, some guy. created it and he knew it's [ __ ]. Scientology. That guy is a science. fiction author. >> completely hover. But now he's dead. So. it's a religion. >> They have tax-free exempt status. >> That's good. >> They're exempt from taxes. Scientology. >> No.

>> Yes. >> That's how they can afford all that real. estate in LA. >> Oh, they have so much real estate. >> Crazy buildings. >> Yeah. >> Downtown. >> And that's the nuttiest thing about. Elron Humpt. It's like he's one of the. worst authors of all time. >> Oh, he stinks. >> Terrible. >> And he's a weird looking dude. I think. he beat his wife. >> Did he? Oh yeah, he was a trouble. >> You say that because he's dead. >> I watched a little documentary on him. He's a troubled individual. >> Well, he was definitely troubled, which. is why he came up with Dionetics in the. first place. He was trying to self. diagnose. >> He was trying to fix his own brain.

>> But it also shows how sad and sheeplike. people are cuz we're like, "We need. something. I need something to believe. in, something to go for. I'll support. [snorts] you.". >> So lost that anybody who comes along. that confidently claims they have the. answer, people just follow. Yep. >> Very odd. It's a It's like I think it's. programmed into us just like from the. time that we were in tribes and you know. we had to count on the chief to be. correct, >> right? >> You know what I mean? >> But I'm sure you got some some psychos. who are up your ass.

>> who believe everything I say. >> Yeah. Cuz you're so big. You got such a. big uh umbrella. >> Yeah. But I'm very clear that I don't. know what I'm talking about. >> That's the key. >> And if I do, it's like very specific. things. So I'm like, I can tell you for. sure that this is a fact, >> right? >> You know, because you know, I'm an. expert in a few things, but other things. I'm like, you know, don't listen to me. >> Yeah. >> But this is what I think. >> Well, you're one of the few guys who. will go, uh, you know what I said last. week? I was wrong about that. >> You have to. >> Nobody does that.

>> You got to Well, cuz they're all they. all just want to be right all the time. >> Yes. And they all they all connect their. identity with being correct about. whether it's co like co ruined a lot of. people's credibility because they were. all in on the vaccine all in on this all. in on the lockdowns all in on the masks. and then once it was revealed that all. that stuff was [ __ ] the vaccine. didn't really prevent infection didn't. really those people just never came out. and said you know what I was wrong. I. know. And that would go so far, but.

nobody will do it. And And then the. right and the left, they both just want. their side to win, so they're like, "Just. >> Exactly. >> It's like when the ball goes out of. bounds on your team, you're like, I. didn't see shit.". >> Exactly. >> And then the other team's like, "What. are you crazy? We got video footage.". >> Yeah. It's cheating. >> It's cheating. >> You're cheating in the game of. discourse, >> right? Right. >> Yeah. The game of discourse is you're. supposed to say what you really think. and then when you think something. differently, you say, "Okay, I was. wrong.". >> Yes. >> You have to be able to say, "I was. misinformed. I thought it was this, but. it's actually that.

>> Yeah. That's why those videos are so. fun. When they go to a college campus, they're like, "Can you believe what this. Trump said this?" And they go, "That's. racist. He's a piece of shit." And they. go, "Actually, that was Biden.". >> And then they go, "Oh, well, what are. you going to do? I got class in. [laughter] a minute. I got to go.". >> You don't vote for me. You ain't black. >> Yeah. He's got a couple nwords, too, out. there, by the way. Does he? Oh, yeah. Pull it up. Biden had a few. >> Well, remember when he he called uh. African-Americans super criminals, right? wa. >> super predators. That was during the. 1994 crime bill, which is he was really.

responsible for a lot of that. >> The '94 crime bill. And people forget. about that. Like during the um Clinton. administration, like Clinton in a. [clears throat] lot of Clinton was a. great president in terms of what he did, balanced the budget, great. >> got head in the office, but you know, let it go. >> Oral office, >> let it let it go. Let it go. But other. than that, like he did a lot of things. that were really good, but one of the. things that he did that wasn't really. good was the 94 crime bill. So many.

people wind up going to jail for the. rest of their lives. >> That's true. >> For that they ruined so many families, so many lives lost. >> Yeah. >> People that could have turned their life. around, never got a chance, locked up. forever. >> Yeah. And deported a lot of people, [snorts] too. >> Oh, yeah. Not as much as Biden. >> Excuse me. Not as much as Obama. >> Well, yeah. He was the king of that. Not. only did Obama deport more people than. Trump, they arrested more Americans. accidentally. >> really. >> than Trump. Yeah. The percentage of. Americans arrested was higher and also.

the deaths were higher. Also, he had two. terms. >> True. >> So, you got to think about that. >> True. Yeah. But nobody got shot in the. street. >> What do you mean? >> Like his ICE. >> Oh. >> didn't shoot anybody that I know of. >> No, they did. They did. They did kill. people. Yeah, they killed people. >> Civilians. Um, I don't know if it was. civilians or if it was actual uh. illegals that they were trying to. deport, but there was definitely a bunch. of people that were killed. >> I want to say it was somewhere in the. range of 30.

>> 30? >> Yeah. >> Well, no social media back then either, >> right? That's big. >> Big. >> That changed everything. They could. cover up everything back then. >> But wouldn't you like to talk to Obama. and go, "Ah, come on. That was crazy.". Right. >> Well, Maron talked to Obama and he just. kind of softalled him, you know? He just. was like he let Obama just kind of talk. >> Well, >> he did it recently. He did it twice and. both both times it was kind of the same. thing. >> But he is an icon and he was a good. president and he seems like a cool guy. >> He was a very good statesman.

>> Yes. >> Like the way he talked was great. But he. also said he was going to protect. whistleblowers and he went back on all. that. They even removed that part of the. hope and change website. >> Whoa. >> The hope and change his hope and change. website when he was running for. president was all about removing. whistleblowers. So, what does it say. here? No documented cases of ICE agents. directly killing anyone. >> There you go. >> Such as through shootings or excessive. force during Obama's presidency. However, 56 individuals died in ICE. custody over that period.

>> Well, he did the. >> Okay, so that's how they died. So, it. wasn't shootings. primarily from medical issues like they. had lead poisoning from bullets. >> Uh inadequate care or whoops, he hung. himself in a two-foot cell. ah with. reports highlighting substandard medical. treatment contributing to at least eight. cases between 2010 and 2012. Most. custody deaths under Obama were. attributed to natural causes, heart. disease. Well, you definitely you're. dealing with a lot of people that snuck.

in. >> Not suicides, hanging, or violence by. agents. >> Uhhuh. >> Interesting. >> Interesting. What's up with that wife. dick? [laughter]. >> Just a little levity, folks. >> I wish that was true. I know. It's. >> It'll be so fun. >> Just a goof. >> I think the French one's true. >> The the chef. >> No, the Candace Owens when she was. saying that uh. wife is a man. >> Come on. >> Yeah. >> No way. >> Yeah. >> I don't think so. >> I don't I might be wrong. >> I mean, she's a little uh.

>> Something's odd. >> She's odd. She's a little transy. >> Yeah. >> But I don't. >> You ever see the way she sits? >> Pull it up. I have not. >> Sits like a dude. >> No. What? Man spread. >> Yeah, manspread. >> Is that right? odd alignment of the hips. seems very masculine. >> You know, that's why men sit like that. It's not because we're dicks. It's like. your legs go out like that. Whereas. women's legs go inward. >> Sure. >> Because they have birthing hips and the. angle is different. >> I thought it was the ball bag.

>> Well, it airing it out a little bit. Whereas a woman has a clam, so she's. there's no resistance. Well, that's why. you don't trust guys who sit like Ari. with that [laughter] leg over the top, that cross-legged thing. >> Yeah. And ironically, he's got a huge. bag. >> He's got a big bag and a big [ __ ]. >> Crazy Jew shoehog on that guy. [laughter]. >> Little baby arm. >> Yeah. >> Big old [ __ ] sack. >> He's doing good. >> He's He's doing good down there. Watch. how she sits. Boom. Look at that. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wow.

>> That's how a dude sits. >> That was a That was a manly sit. >> Even the walk. Even the stature, the. skeletal frame, everything looks like it. looks like a guy with tits, >> right? Boom. Look how sits. But that's. not the weirdest thing. The weirdest. thing that everybody accepts, the fact. that they started their relationship. when she air quotes was 40 and he was. like 14 or 15. >> That's crazy. >> That's crazy. >> If that was reversed, guy to [snorts]. girl, >> that would be a headline. >> Exactly. >> Big time. >> But it's French. It's in France. So.

true. Like, uh, we are different in. France. >> They're sexual people. They They didn't. [ __ ] with me, too, in France. They were. like, "No, no, we like being. >> Take the whole country down.". >> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah, that's true. >> Men and women. Look, that's a woman. supposedly. >> Italy. >> Take her down. Take them all down. >> Italyy's like, "We hit the ladies and we. we we we cat call. That's our thing.". >> Oh, they're animals. >> Oh, yeah. >> I was in Rome with my kids in a taxi. It. was just me and my kids. And this. [ __ ] driver of the taxi stopped the. car in the middle of an intersection to.

cat kale cat call some lady. >> No way. >> Who had a big ass who was walking across. the sea. He mon mia. Look at that ass. [laughter] And he just kept driving. I. was like these people are animals. >> It's kind of charming with that voice. though. >> It is. But you got to realize like if. you're in Rome, these are the. descendants of the people that were. there when the coliseum was running. >> Sure. These are the people that were. there when the [ __ ] Roman games when. Rome was conquering the world. Of course. they're savages. >> Right. Right.

>> Of course they're the descendants of. savage. Direct descendants of the some. of the most savage people that ever. walked the face of the earth. >> Yeah. Those gladiators and. >> the Roman Empire. >> They fought lions. >> They took over everything. >> And then they they got the Vatican right. there, which is a weird. >> Oh, yeah. >> [ __ ] country that's in the middle of. their city. >> I think that's good balance. They got. crazy [ __ ] with the orgies, the wine, and then the gay stuff. And then they. got the Vatican. That's to me that's. kind of healthy. >> Jesus gives you a free pass. You just. got to say you're sorry, >> right? >> Just got to confess. >> Best loophole of all time was that.

confession [ __ ]. >> I think they did that just to get. information on people in in the town. Find out what they were doing. >> That's true. >> Hey, God says it's okay. You still go to. heaven. You got to tell the priest. And. the priest like immediately went and. told the mayor. >> Oh. >> yeah. Transforming 100%. >> Never thought of it that way. >> Of course. How else would you get people. to tell all the dirty [ __ ] that they're. doing, all the crime they're committing? >> Oh god, I. >> That's the way you get them. >> I went to Catholic school. I told those. [ __ ] everything. >> Did you? >> I was in the box going I jerked off to.

my aunt. She's got huge [laughter] tits. I I I really went off in there. It was. like a podcast. >> I never got to sit in one. I went to. Catholic school only for one year, >> but I was first grade. >> Did you make it out? >> Oh, I made it out and I was like, I'm. never going back again. It's It quered. me off of religion for ever. [laughter]. >> That's a weird term to go with. But this. is not real. Like this lady, I don't. remember anybody's name from the time. when I was six, but Sister Mary. Josephine, I'll remember that [ __ ] till. the day I died. >> Oh yeah. >> She was so mean. And I was so confused.

cuz I had only been with my mom and my. dad and my grandparents who were all. nice to me. >> Yes. >> I'd never been around anybody mean to. me. Right. >> And then all a sudden around this. vicious [ __ ] who's supposed to be like. the person of God. >> Exactly. But they would wrap your. knuckles. I think they were all. repressed or something. >> Oh, 100%. >> They needed some vitamin D. >> Yeah, get that dick. >> They didn't get no dick. That's a crazy. rule, too. You can't [ __ ] And you know. why they came up with that rule? No. >> Cuz all the priests were [ __ ]. everybody cuz they were the rock stars.

>> Whoa. >> They were the guy who talks to Jesus. He's the guy on stage. >> The guy on stage. and he's just. And then they decided, hey, you can't. [ __ ] if you want to be a priest. >> But then they went to kids. >> Of course, that's what happens. You're. only going to get gay guys or pedophiles. who are interested in that. The gay guys. [ __ ] each other. The pedophiles try to. get the kids cuz you get isolated time. with the kids, >> right? >> Like teachers. Like how many teachers. get one of my kids schools? They just. busted a guy.

>> Get the [ __ ] out of here. >> Back in Calabasas. >> Whoa. >> Viewpoint. My kid went and took this. guy's classes for I think two or three. years. >> What? >> Yep. He was taking upskirts photos, inappropriate photos, was jerking off to. him. admitted that they the the photos. made his heart race and seeing these. kids as full-on pedophile was a part of. this like very nice private school. >> Yeah. >> For I think he was there for six or. seven years. >> Did you meet him? >> I must have.

>> Oh my lord. You shook this guy's hand. >> I must have. He was my kid's teacher. I. must have met him. I don't remember him. >> You got daughters. >> Uhhuh. >> Oh yeah. Mama. >> Luckily nothing happened to them, but. they remember he talked too much. >> Ah, interesting. My daughter said he. just kept he just wouldn't shut the [ __ ]. up. He talked too much. >> He spitting game. [laughter]. >> But what what about these Florida [ __ ]. who keep banging the students? There's. something there's like an epidemic going. on. >> Give him a pass. >> I mean, look, I'm not knocking it, but. uh. >> that's different. >> I think that beats priest now.

>> It's only okay if they're hot. >> Sure, but they they some of them are. like, "Damn, I'd [ __ ] her.". >> Exactly. Those are okay. I don't know. about. Okay. So, >> but it was some big troll looking lady. with no neck [laughter] and her her chin. starts at her her neck goes straight. down to her chest. Some job the hut looking beast, you'd be. like, "You monster. What'd you do to. that boy?". >> Yeah. >> But if it's some blonde lady with big. tits and glassy eyes, like she's. probably on SSRIs, didn't know what she. was doing. >> Sure. And maybe like the husband can't. get it up and this is a veal 14-year-old.

basketball player or something. >> Yeah. How about that lady who was a. mayor? She was a mayor at some town in. like Louisiana and she was [ __ ] some. 16-year-old. >> That was crazy. >> And they show the husband all over the. news. I'm like, "This poor [ __ ] guy. What a cook.". >> Poor [ __ ] guy, man. >> Her [ __ ] wife is getting banged by a. high school basketball player. >> And she was pretty. >> She was not. >> Very pretty. >> Kind of mily. >> Kind of milfy for sure. But that's the. thing. I have a bit about it. They never. show the kid. I want to see that kid. >> Yeah. >> What's he Is he some kind of young stud?

>> Yeah, a lot of them are. >> Okay. Well, you just can't see them. because they're in it's inappropriate. Underage and they're victims. >> Of course. >> You ever hear Zack Alfanakis' joke? >> I died to high-fiving. >> Yes. [laughter]. >> It's a great joke. >> Great joke. >> He was a great joke writer. >> Oh, he's a great comic. >> Great comic. >> Live from the the um. >> Purple Onion. >> Purple Onion. Yeah. Great [ __ ]. special. >> Great special. He had that thing where. he'd get fake angry and play the piano. He was. >> He's a good dude, too. >> Good guy. >> He's a really good dude. Like every time.

I've had interactions with him, I'm like. this is a s he's like not Hollywood at. all. >> No. No. He's a South Carolina guy. >> Bought a farm. Lives on a farm now. Yeah. I mean, he barely works. >> Yeah. >> He just like kind of lives his life. >> I mean, he's kind of a phenom cuz his. stand up was good. And then he just. like, you know, Todd Phillips fought for. him in The Hangover. They're like, we. don't know this [ __ ] guy. He's a. nobody. And he's like, I'm telling you, this guy's good. And he he stole the. movie. >> Stole the movie. Yeah. No, he's a great. comic. And that Between Two Ferns thing. Oh, it's brilliant. >> Amazing. Amazing.

>> Brilliant. >> No, he's great, man. >> Yeah, he just gets you on uh he had. Seinfeld on. He's trashing him. He's. trashing Paul Rudd. He's got like uh all. these It's great. >> He was a a great friend to Brody, too. >> Yes. >> When Brody was going through one of his. uh moments where he got off medication. and he got a little crazy. >> and we started noticing it at the store. Like instead of being funny, he was on. stage, he would actually get angry. It. was like really weird. Mhm. >> And he came back, but for there was a. while where he was like really lost it. And Zach reached out and he's like,

"Don't interact with him. We're trying. to get him treatment. We're trying to. get him back on his meds." Like he's he. went off his meds. >> I love it. >> He's good dude. Solid dude. >> There's a video on YouTube. Yeah, they're out there. >> They're out there. Solid solid people. are out there. >> He's a normal guy. And you could tell. these H I feel like Hollywood is like co. where it [ __ ] your brain up eventually. And he got out and moved to a farm. So. that's how you know he's sane. But. there's people that are in Hollywood. that stay solid. Like when I had Matt. Damon and Ben Affleck on, I was like, I'd be friends with these guys.

>> Yeah, I listen to that one. >> They're normal off off the mic, on the. mic. They're cool. Like. >> they're cool over there and the lobby. >> They're regular. They talk to everybody. Like I've met Matt Damon a few times. >> I actually ran into him in Italy. It's. really crazy in a restaurant where he. was sitting below a photo of him. >> Oh, weird. There's photos of all these. celebrities that come and eat at this. place and he was one of them and he was. there and he was sitting there like. >> and then I w I had met him before. So I. go, "Hey, Matt." I He's like, "Oh,

what's up?" I was like, "But he's cool. He's normal. He's like a regular guy.". >> Well, he hit the lottery with that. script. >> I know, right? >> Yeah. And they're both like. good-looking. They're nice. They're. cool. >> They're smart. >> Yes. >> They're really like Ben Affleck is. underrated intelligence. Like when he. was talking about AI and what AI is. actually promising versus what they're. actually capable of. What they're really. trying to do is increase their market. cap and getting more money invested. I'm. like, "Oh, clever. >> Clever." And I think he sold signed some. deal with them.

>> for millions and like changed the game. with Netflix. >> Big time. >> Big time. >> Yeah. >> It's a [ __ ] giant giant deal. >> Big deal. Up to $600 million. They said. >> was that for the RIP? >> No, no, no, no, no, no. He sold an AI. company. Oh, >> that's why he knows so much about it. >> Oh, that makes sense. >> He kind of broke it down on here and. then like two weeks later he sold it. >> That makes sense. >> He's ahead of the curve, that guy. >> Yeah, both of those guys are good and. they've stayed friends forever. >> And banging JLo for that many years has. got a. >> He gave it his best. Trying to tame that.

horse. >> She sucks. [laughter]. >> She's quite a Clydesdale. >> Oh, I bet she's so fun, though. >> Yeah, but I think she's malignant. narcissist. >> Duh. [laughter]. But by the way, that's the only way you. stay that hot when you're 80 years old. >> Smoke show. >> She's a smoke show. >> Yeah, that rump is uh. >> She could completely be a granny. And. she looks [ __ ] amazing. >> I want to put a blue ribbon on that. heiny. >> You got to be a narcissist to keep that. up, >> I guess. So, >> I mean, the skin her skin's perfect.

>> Everything. >> How's And it doesn't look crazy like. filler, nutty. It just looks like pure. like she's just not aging. >> I know. >> Nuts. It's at the Puerto Rican blood, I. guess. >> And maybe it's that. It's good genetics. for sure, but it's also just upkeep and. care and aware, being aware of what you. look like and taking care of yourself, >> right? >> Like I saw um one of those Instagram. things where they showed people from. like the 80s how old they were. Like. Bunker Archie Bunker when he was playing. Archie Bunker when Ed O'Connell was.

playing gar. He's 10 years younger than. me. >> Carol Oconor. >> Carol Oconor. That's right. He was 10. years younger than me now. >> Whoa. Right. Oh, I think they did a. cocoon one with Paul Rudd and the Ed Ed. Brimley. >> Yes. >> Same age. >> 48. >> 48. You know, Mrs. Robinson was 39. >> What? >> 39 in the graduate and she's like the. old bag. >> That's crazy. >> 39. Now they got 39y olds walking on. Sixth Street who look like uh you know. Cindy Crawford, >> right? >> I got update my hot women. Megan Fox.

There [laughter] you go. Stuck in the. 90s. >> Yeah. It's odd, man. Yeah. >> Oh, look at that. >> She looked 39, >> I guess. So, >> like 39 in the 80s. >> That's Mel Brooks's wife, you know? >> Yeah, that that's what 39 looked like. That looks like 60 now. >> I think she's pretty sexy. >> Not bad. >> Look at that. >> Not bad. Especially for someone who. never went to the gym. Like ladies, they. didn't do nothing back then. They were. they walked. >> Well, and the dudes too could be. completely no definition and still be.

like a leading man, >> right? The only one who was like really. ripped back then was Charles Bronson. >> Well, yeah. That [ __ ]. >> action star. >> Yeah, but he was even before he was an. action star. Like that guy was just fit. >> Fit. He like wiry. >> You know when he did Hard Times that. movie? >> Yeah. >> He was 50. >> No. >> Yes. >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> That's impressive. >> Shredded. >> Well, all these TRT. >> Liam Mis old and uh Taken. >> I was looking this up. The Golden Girls. were all playing like 10 years younger. than WHAT THEY WERE. >> WOW. >> That's nuts. That's nuts.

>> 53. >> They were playing 79. She was 62. She. was playing 53, but she was 63. Oh, wow. >> Wow. That was a great. >> She was playing 53 and she was 52. The. The one lady, that's crazy. >> Be Arthur R. Mlanahan. >> Wow. >> Betty White. >> And is Betty White still alive? >> Nah, she kicked it. >> How old was she? >> I don't know. But Keith Richards beat. her. >> That guy. >> How he's like JLo. He's the male JLo. >> I saw the Stones at uh Circuit of the.

Americas a couple years ago. [ __ ]. incredible. He still shreds. >> I know. Both of them. Jagger's out there. >> just dancing around like Jagger's not. like standing still. >> Like have you ever seen it was one of. those old guys was in Vegas like one of. them guys from like the [ __ ] 60s. >> like a Wayne Newton type. >> talking about? >> Yeah. What is his name? >> Frankie Valley. >> Frankie Valley. >> Oh Valley. >> Bro, it's like all lip syncing and he. can't move his lips anymore. >> Yeah, I believe it. >> And he looks like a statue. >> Mhm.

>> It's odd. >> That is odd. Yeah. those guys. >> Meanwhile, MC Jag is butting your lips, [laughter] baby, dancing, moving around. I mean, like, and they did a 90minute. show, cranking it. >> He's got peptides or something. >> Look at this guy. >> Oh, this guy's dead. >> Some of this. >> This is like Mitch McConnell. I mean, he's just stiff, >> but he's like aboard. >> Yeah. >> You got any volume on this [ __ ]. >> Poor bastard. Someone talking about it. >> Oh, >> well, hats off to still go out there. >> It probably has to. [laughter].

>> He's got debt. Have you seen Barry. Manalo? >> No. >> Rough. >> Weird. Go to Go to Barry Manalow's. Instagram. He sings, but he's got like. filler and it looks like his chin's. disappearing. >> And I don't know how old he is, but he's. not that old. >> Like, look at this. >> Oh, they start to look trans. >> God, this is weird. It's like an. animatronic at Chuck-E-Cheese, >> right? That's what it's like.

But that's not even a weird one. Go to. his uh his the one on the far right. right there. Click on that one. >> Listen to him. >> Here. Well, looks like I [laughter] made. it. >> He's like Kermit the Frog. >> Fabulous. >> Look at his hair. >> That's awesome. >> Is there any chance? How much would you. bet that that's a wig? >> Everything I own, >> it's all fake. Everything's fake. >> Everything. But the the face is like a. guy, let yourself just age. Don't do the. filler and the bow. So, this is when he. was younger. >> Yeah. He's a handful. >> So, this is this looks good. This looks.

legit. >> I mean, >> it just when they start pumping stuff. into their cheeks, it's just like, look, you got stung by bees. It's just weird. >> Yeah, it's weird. >> It's a weird look. >> And we all know just what do you do? It. looks weirder. It's It's worse. Just. age. >> I know. >> We like age. >> With women, it gets really strange cuz. there's a thing that bodybuilders get. and anorexics get, body dysmorphia, where you can't see yourself the way. other people see you, right? So, you. don't realize that it's weird that your.

cheeks are that big. >> Yeah. Is that what it is? >> Oh, yeah. >> Well, you know when you're you're you're. drawing something and you're painting. and you're like, "All right, it's done. I'll add a little more. I'll add a. little more." And then before you know. it, you ruined it. >> Well, you get obsessed with the little. minutia and you're just focusing on. weird parts of your face and maybe you. got a weird little smile line right here. and you don't like it. You're like, "Fill it in." Like, it swells up. You're. like, "Good.". >> Yeah. And they get used to it. We see. him after 8 months and you're like, "Good God.". >> But they're just gradual.

>> Yeah. Yeah. >> So they don't realize how crazy. >> Didn't Ryan Gosling isn't Aren't people. accusing him of getting a bunch of stuff. in his face now, too? >> Like there was some photos of him on a. red carpet. It looked real weird. >> I get the hair implants. >> I get it. >> Do that all day. But as a dude, you can. age. We're all right. Look, Jason. Staithm and all these guys. They look. fine. >> Yeah. Let it go. Let it go. Don't do the. filler thing. It's just you're changing. the shape of your face. It's also. there's a there's a a ratio the golden. ratio of your face. Like when you do.

something weird to your face, it throws. people off. Like your the width of your. face and the closeness of your eyes, the. size of your nose, all of it fits within. a certain ratio. >> Yeah. >> And when that ratio is off, like when. you have a really thin face but a small. nose, everybody's like, "Hey.". >> Yes. >> Where's that Ari nose? >> I need to see that big old beak. That. makes sense with this shape. >> We like a I mean, look at Jennifer Gray. She cut her nose off. >> Lost her career. >> Lost her career and she was a cute, you. know, little. >> cute jubro.

>> Yeah, she had a big nose. Like, so what? She was beautiful. >> Beautiful. >> You don't have to like be perfect. Perfect ain't the way to go. >> Look at Bill Murray. That guy looks like. an old fart. >> Yeah. >> I mean, he looks crazy, but it's Bill. Murray. >> He's a cool guy. >> I love Bill. He's my childhood hero. >> I really enjoyed talking to him. >> Oh, yeah. You had Bill on. >> He was He was a good one. That must have. been pretty nerve-wracking for you, huh? >> No, no, it was cool. He was real easy. It wasn't nerve-wracking. It was a. little like nuts when you first meet. him, but he had no idea who I was.

>> Whoa. >> He doesn't watch podcasts. Yeah. He had. heard of me. He's like, "You're Joe?". I'm like, "Yeah." Like, it wasn't. bullshitting like some Hollywood people. do. I'm sorry. Your name is, you know, some people. He wasn't doing that. He's. not online. Doesn't have a phone. He. said he had to get a phone to talk to. his kids. >> Whoa. That's it. >> Whoa, man. >> You know who else doesn't have a phone? Woody. Woody Harlson. No, really. >> You got to get a hold of him, you gotta. get through his wife. >> Damn. Sucks with a wife, though. >> He's happy. He's like, "Leave me out of. everything." You can't get a hold of him.

through email. Leave me out of it. >> He seems interesting. I remember that. SNL he did great. >> where he just outed co [ __ ] That was. interesting. >> Yeah, he's great. >> I saw the kill Tony once. >> He hangs out at the club all the time. >> Really? >> Yeah. He's in the green room all the. time, but he like hangs out normal. Like. talks to everybody. He doesn't big time. anybody. Like he's talking to door guys. He's talking to [ __ ] everybody. Normal. >> Damn. >> Yeah. He's cool. >> Cool dude. I mean, White Man Can't Jump. is one of my favorites. >> He's awesome. He's just He's real. Like.

that guy's a real I've hung out with him. multiple times now. I really enjoy. talking to him. There's a few of those. guys. They make it through and they're. still cool. But one thing that a lot of. them have in common is they stay out of. like social media. They stay offline. >> They just live. They just live. >> Yeah. Well, though. >> He's in the cloud. You mean. >> he's a pod head. >> all day? He He's like those rappers they. call it living in the cloud. >> I've never heard that. >> They're never not high. >> Like a Lil Wayne or something?

>> High all day. [laughter]. Constantly high. >> I don't know how they do that [ __ ]. >> I don't know how they do that [ __ ]. either. >> Like those people just wake and bake and. then go out and do stuff and then they. just keep smoking. I mean, there's. comics in the green room in New York. who'll just smoke weed for like three. hours and then go on then do another set. and they hang out. I'm like, if I smoke. weed for three hours, I'd be crying in a. fetal position. [laughter] It's insane. >> Yeah. I wouldn't [snorts] be getting. anything done. >> No, >> you'd be so locked in your own head. thinking about the world. But I think.

people's mental chemistry is different. For some people, I think weed is like a. legitimate medicine. It keeps them. together. >> Yeah. >> And they're not hurting anybody. >> No. Why is it okay to be on SSRIs and. Oxycontton, but it's not okay to just. live in the cloud? >> It's a good point. They're medicating in. a little bit. >> 100%. >> I mean, that's what I was doing with. alcohol as a teenager. I was so anxious. and nervous and I wanted to fit in. I. would just drink for like social lube. >> Most teenagers are doing that for that. same reason. They want to be able to go. to a party and relax and not feel like.

everybody hates them or isolated or. weird or who's judging me. Just wee. >> Yeah. Like my nephew, he's 16, never. drank, and he's a virgin. He's got no. friends. He plays video games all day. And he gives me [ __ ] for drinking. He's. like, "It's so unhealthy." But I'm like, "This is unhealthy.". >> Yeah. >> You're just you got you got no friends. You never fingered a girl. You you don't. you don't go to parties. Nothing. >> It's weird that there's a lot of kids. doing that now. >> 85% alcohol sales are 85% down with Gen. Z. >> What? >> 85%. And I just started a liquor. Yeah.

So, I'm [ __ ] But uh. >> but yeah, it's it's weird. I'm like, "How do you cut loose?" I think they're. all scared of being cringed. They're all. scared of being filmed. We were so lucky. we could just get get after it. [ __ ] up, drive drunk. >> You think that's it? >> I think that's part of it. Somebody told. me that kids don't dance at dances. anymore because they're too scared of. being go viral. You know, look at this. white guy dancing like an idiot. Cringe. hashtag. >> So happy to catch people doing something.

ruining their whole life. >> That gotcha culture. It's horrible. >> It's horrible. And the type of people. that want to do that, they should be. shamed. That is that is a horrible. behavior. >> Thousand% agree. That's that's where. we're at. We I mean, people scan videos. just to be like, "Gotcha. Well, you said. this, you said that." They go through. your old tweets, whatever it is. But we. need to flip it and make those guys get. in trouble. >> 100%. It's like when someone has a false. rape accusation. How come they don't go. to jail? You almost made a person go to.

jail and then it turns out that they. didn't do anything and then you just. skate. >> Yeah, >> that's insane. >> They were gonna go to jail. >> forever. >> Forever for nothing. >> For nothing for something you made up. and then you just skate because you're a. woman. That's insane. Or you're a guy. >> Like there's guys that had fake rape. accusations against other men, >> right? >> It's nuts. >> I know. It's a It's a bummer. But I. guess it's human nature. It's powerful. I don't know. >> I know. But we should punish the people. that make fake claims. >> I agree. That's crazy.

>> They should have to do half the time of. the sentence. >> Like, think about the Amber Heard, Johnny Depp thing. Yeah. Like, he gets. exonerated at the end of it. Everybody. kind of sees her talk and they go, "Oh, she made up a bunch of [ __ ] He's he's. okay, >> right?". >> But meanwhile, what happened to her? Nothing. >> Well, she was humiliated, but yeah, she. lost the money, I guess. >> But when you falsely accuse someone of. crimes by beating you, >> she got a makeup lady to put [ __ ] on. her. He could have gone to jail for 10, 15, 25 years. >> That's cruel. That's unusual. That's.

psychopath. >> Tried to ruin his life. Like that's. what, you know, Jordan Peterson talks. about that that women are they they're. experts in reputation destruction. That's what they like to do. And that's. what she was trying to do with him. >> Well, they can't fight, >> right? >> So that's kind of their way, I guess. >> You know, when they kill people, you. know how they do it for the most part? >> Annifreeze and the oatmeal. >> poison. >> Yeah. They get it slow over time. I was. reading about this lady who wrote a book. about h helping her children get over. grief. >> and she sold this book because her.

husband died and then they just arrested. her for poisoning her husband. >> Oh [laughter] my god. >> Yeah. >> Wow. She killed them all. >> Yeah, she killed him. It was in 2022. >> At least they got her. How'd they find. out? >> And she was like crocodile tears, you. know. So hard for me to lose my beloved. Steve or whatever the [ __ ] his name was. >> Well, did you see the Rebel Wilson. thing? >> No. what she did. >> Oh, J Mo. She accused a guy of uh shot. sex trafficking. >> and she accused Sasha Baron Cohen of uh.

telling her to grab to finger his. [ __ ]. >> What? >> When meanwhile what he really said, it's. on camera like she was supposed to grab. his ass in a scene and he said, "You. know, you stuck your finger right up my. ass. Like, take it easy.". >> Uhhuh. >> And she said, "He told me to finger his. asshole." Something along those lines. >> Whoa. Yeah. >> Why would he say that? [laughter]. >> Well, he is Sasha Baron Cohen. >> Borat. He say So, what did she accuse. someone of? >> She accused a guy of being a sex. trafficker, I believe, with children and.

they caught her on a hot mic or somebody. on a hot mic saying their their plan. They like spelled it out. >> What? >> And so, she's uh in hot water. >> Well, she should be going to jail. Sure. >> Like that. You can ruin someone's entire. life. >> Rebel Wilson versus the Deb. What's the. Deb? >> That was the a movie. Oh, okay. Four. lawsuits explode as leaked audio alleges. smear campaign against producer. >> Well, she was another lady that used to. be really big and then she got kind of. hot.

>> She slimmed slimmed down a little bit. So, what did they actually catch her? Um, okay. What it says? The producers. So it says has she alleged this page six. reported the dispute intensified after. leak audio raised questions about an. alleged smear effort linked to a crisis. PR team working on her behalf. Wilson. used social media to accuse billionaire. Sir Len Blav Blatnik of funding both the.

film and the legal actions against her. Dates back to 2024. Wilson accused the. film's producer, including songwriter. Amanda Ghost, of inappropriate behavior. towards the lead, played by Charlotte. McInness. >> She also accused them of embezzling. funds from the film's budget, engaging. in retaliatory behavior after she raised. concerns and trying to block the film's. premiere at the Toronto Film Festival. >> Yikes. >> Pro producers later filed a defamation. suit against Wilson in Los Angeles. Wilson then filed a counter suit that.

expanded on her sexual harassment and. embezzlement uh allegations. Um M Mc Mckinnis McKinnus, is it. McKinnus? Yeah. M McInness publicly. denied Wilson's claim that Ghost had. sexually harassed her and then filed her. own defamation suit against Wilson in. Australia. Wow. So the lady she was. saying was being sexually harassed filed. a defamation suit against her. >> Um. >> another twist. This is when it gets. good. >> Hollywood reporter published leaked.

audio that allegedly captures members of. Wilson's team discussing fake websites. that would paint Ghost as a sex. trafficking madam. >> Wow. In the recording, one person can be. heard saying, "We can't just do that.". Like, "Oh, she's a [ __ ] She sucks.". It's like, it's got to be really, really. heavy and connected to something that. heavy. >> Wow. We. >> go to jail. >> Yeah, >> go to jail.

>> If cancelling works, you can use it. You. can weaponize it. >> She addressed the Wilson addressed the. controversy in a series of Instagram. stories. She says, "I was going to wait. to take the stand, but the absolute. bombardment on me as a person via. heavily paid crisis PR firms recently. has taken its toll and it's impossible. to say nothing," she wrote. She also. said, "Everyone who knows me knows I a. true rebel." M. >> Oh, she's a rebel cuz her name's. >> Rebel. >> I say it how it is. Oh, wow. She Another. post added, uh, I am pretty strong in.

all caps, and when push comes to shove, I'm going to get on the stand and tell. it like it is. Holy [ __ ] these people. are [ __ ] crazy. >> Scary stuff. >> There's so many of these people that are. just not just narcissists, but. sociopaths at the same time, >> right? >> Narcissist and sociopath and then. recently hot. [laughter]. >> Yeah. So it's like new powers. >> Exactly. New powers. >> New hot powers. >> You know who I'm loving though is this. doa cat. >> What about her? >> So she's some pop star who I don't even.

know. I'm an old boomer queef. But she. went after Timothy Shalamé when he made. fun of ballet. Did you see that whole. thing? >> Oh. And then she said she was just. virtue signaling. >> Yes. Which I I commend her. I'm like she. apologized. She goes I was just trying. to get clicks. I'm sorry. >> That's hilarious. >> That's great that she she backtracked. and I she came clean. I love that. It is. funny that she just admitted it. She's. probably high. >> She's [laughter] probably high like what. am I doing? Either way, the [ __ ] wrong. with me? >> I'm on board. We need more of that. We. need more people going, "Ah, [ __ ] I was. I was high." And.

>> well, you know, Louis CK said this about. like social media stuff. He goes, "It's. just talk." But the problem is it's. written down. Like people say things all. the time that aren't right. They. shouldn't have said it. But when it's. written down, it's like, "Oh, it's. documented.". >> Yeah. >> You know, and then everyone can read it. forever. He goes, "But it's just talk. It's just talk that you could read. >> That's true. >> It is true. >> And it's in stone forever. >> Forever. >> on the internet. >> And people are never going to forget it. You could say something [ __ ] at a. party when you're drunk and then call. your buddy the next morning. I don't. know what the [ __ ] I was saying. I'm.

sorry. >> But if it's written on Twitter, like. they'll never let you forget it. >> Again, why kids can't [ __ ] around. They. can't cut loose cuz they'll get written. about. >> They must be so paranoid. >> of I feel bad for them. They can't enjoy. youth. Youth is when you do stupid [ __ ]. And when kids do get shamed, like it. will like if something happens to you in. high school. >> Oh, it's traumatizing. >> It's traumatizing. And you can go back. to high school. I remember going back to. high school like years later, like. driving by and I would get nervous. >> Yes. Yeah. The. >> same. Yeah. The same feeling that you.

got when you were going to school there. Like. >> totally. >> And I didn't have a horrible high. school. >> No. Me neither. >> But still. >> Now imagine if I did. Imagine if. something terrible went down in high. school. >> and I was there like, "Oh my god.". >> Well, you see these poor girls who get. bullied for being fat, then they become. anorexic or whatever. It that it goes. all kinds of different ways. Guys who. got beat up. I got I got bullied pretty. bad in in school. >> Yeah. And that can [ __ ] with your. confidence forever. There's some guys. that get bullied in high school and they.

just never recover. >> Yeah. Now you can do that on social. media in two seconds and some kid will. kill himself. >> Yeah. >> Happens all the time. And then there's. like pylons that people do. >> Yes. >> When comics do pylons, I'm like, "Good. lord." I I have like a mental list of. people that do pylons that I'm like, "I'll never [ __ ] with you again. I'll. never I don't want to ever talk to you. >> if I ever see you." I'm like, "You're. just you're waiting to turn on people.". >> It's strange. Yeah. And as Bill Bird. would say, we're all eating a [ __ ]. sandwich out here. Like, why do you have. to make this harder?

>> Yeah. >> We're trying to be comedians. It's like. a crazy uh job to go for. >> Well, one thing that they all have in. common is they're all not doing well. >> Like it's all comics that are failing, >> I guess. So, >> yeah. And then they're seeing all these. other people that are taking off and. doing really well. Like when Shane when. they piled on Shane. >> Yeah. >> It was because Shane's talented and they. were really kind of scared of him, right? >> Cuz when someone like that guy could. take off and now he has taken off and. now now they're [ __ ] They can't say. nothing. And then we all remember,

>> of course, >> like, hey, you're the [ __ ] that piled on. that all that [ __ ] was going on with. SNL. [ __ ] you. >> You got mad at a comic for saying. something inappropriate. That's what we. do. >> Not only that, it was completely out of. context. He was pretending to be a. person who'd never been in Chinatown. before, who was a racist. >> Exactly. >> That was his quote. >> But they could get him cuz he had a big. gig. He got a break. So now we can take. that away. And that's kind of the root. of it. >> It's losers, you You know, it's not like. Chris Rock's not trying to take people's. gigs away. You know what I mean? Of.

course, it's only losers. It's only. people that don't have anything going. on. >> Well, Shane's got a He's got a He's like. uh [ __ ] Bushi and Billy Madison. He's. putting that lipstick on and he's he's. got a list. >> Good. >> Yeah. >> Good. >> He knows everybody. >> Yeah. Good. [ __ ] those people. You don't. have to do anything to them, but just. know them. Know them for what they. really are and never [ __ ] with them. again. >> Yeah. Avoid them. Just keep writing. jokes. Keep killing and live your life. >> Just keep killing. You don't need those. [ __ ] And there's always going to be. people like that in every business, in. every industry. There's always people.

that aren't doing so well, that haven't. got their life figured out. They want to. attack the people that do. >> Yeah, >> bro. Why do we have beers? What's up. with the beer? >> I brought a few in if you want. >> Lone star. >> I don't like that Bud Light [ __ ] No. offense, >> I don't mind it, but I'll prefer a Lone. Star. Cheers. >> Same. Cheers. Say hey. We're now we're. mixing liquors here. [sighs]. >> My dogs finally went to sleep. >> Ah, hallelujah. Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh [ __ ] I. was going to say something. Doat. That. was. >> [ __ ]. >> A lot of [ __ ] in the world.

>> Yeah. >> But there's a lot of great people. I. think [ __ ] are important because they. make you appreciate nice people, >> right? >> You know, >> I just. >> if I didn't know any [ __ ] I might. maybe I wouldn't like you, >> right? But [laughter]. I I see the [ __ ] and I want to hug. them. I want to go, "Come on, what are. we doing?". >> I do, too. But it doesn't always happen. You know, I uh I made up with Maron. >> I heard. Good on you. Well, the funny. thing is you never really started. anything. It was all him. But is that. thing it's like he wasn't doing so good. and he's also separate from us. >> He's doing great. He's in movies. >> I know. But it's like he's not doing as.

well. >> I guess. >> it's all comparative. >> Ah, it's so sad. >> Comparison is the thief of joy. >> I I agree. But you he's in the Joker. He's talking to Obama. He's like he's. killing it. >> He should be killing it. You think but. it's like people compare themselves to. other people. It's very it's very toxic. It's very bad. >> It is. It is. But it's. >> compare yourself to who you were. yesterday. Right. >> Do a better job. That's it. Figure out. what you [ __ ] up yesterday. Do better. Compare yourself to your friends and get. inspiration from it.

>> Now, were you ever jealous of a guy? Oh, yeah. >> And you go, I wouldn't mind taking that. guy down or that girl. >> No. No. I never thought. >> I don't have that instinct either. >> I never wanted to take someone down, but. I definitely have felt jealousy. But. then I realized that's a [ __ ] feeling, >> you know, and they're like, don't like. you should be inspired. >> and nothing comes from it. >> Nothing. But it's also I came from a. martial arts background where you have. to have people better than you or as. good as you around or you won't get. better. Like if you're like in. competition, so if you're competing.

against like elite people all over the. country like I was doing when I was in. high school and afterwards, >> if you don't have people in the gym that. are better than you, you're going to get. [ __ ] up. Like you need to be around. the best people in the world. Like I had. national champions in my gym and because. of that. >> I had to rise to a very high level. So. they were very valuable to me. So. instead of being jealous like why is he. the champ and I'm not instead of that. you're like I see what this guy's doing. I see what he's going through. I want to. mirror his behavior. I want to be.

inspired by him. >> Step it up. >> And you can do that with comedy too with. everything else. >> But I will say martial arts is a more. objective. That guy pinned you. That guy. knocked you out. This is this comedy. thing is subjective. And uh people go. I'm funnier than that guy. And I'm like. I've never seen you kill. >> Right. >> So. >> that's true. That's true. >> That makes it harder. That's why we love. sports, >> right? >> There's an ending. Ah, you got more. points. >> The basket goes in the net, that's it. Or the ball goes in the basket, that's. it. >> Yeah. Yeah. But that's the problem. We're so tribal now that like people. vote the right way or they they tweet.

the right thing, but they're still mean. as [ __ ]. >> Like, as Ari would say, good politics, bad people. >> Yeah. >> I'd rather you I'd rather you uh tweet. some horrible slur, but be a nice guy. >> Our priorities are out of whack in. society. I I think we're we're rewarding. the wrong things. >> Well, we're really confused because. social media is not real, >> right? >> And it's not real human interaction. It's not normal. You're not supposed to. be able to just write something and the. people that respond just write something. back. It's supposed to be dialogue.

>> Yeah. >> People are supposed to communicate the. way we're doing. >> That's that's how normal people talk. That way when someone says something. nutty, instead of letting them go on for. paragraph after paragraph, you go, "No, no, that's not true. >> I never said that. >> I never said that." No, you're miss. you're miss first of all you're taking. something that was sarcastic and you're. making it like a quote as if this is. like what my real feelings were. >> Yeah. And they kind of want it to be. real which is strange. You know they go. we hate racism. I heard this thing where. they're like Bill Burr's a racist and. somebody tweeted his wife's black and.

they were like well sometimes people. marry black women to dominate them and. you're like give it up. And then his. wife. >> don't know that relationship. [laughter]. >> Well his wife tweeted after shut the. [ __ ] up [ __ ] Good for her. >> And you're like there you go. Yeah, good. for her. Just go. But also, don't. interact with those people. It's not. These are not good faith conversations. >> So, do you feel good? I mean, it must be. a load off with the Marin makeup. >> Yeah, it was nice. I I never hated that. guy. It was a And it was a nice. conversation. It was good. And we're. going to get together when he's in town.

>> Oh my god, this is amazing. >> Great Brad to have dinner. I I even. invited him to the club. I'm like, come. come to the club. It's not what you. think it is. It's like there's all walks. of life. There's a ton of lesbians and. gay people and half it's like the most. diverse [ __ ] place on earth, but. they're all talented. It's only diverse. by accident. Yeah. >> It's diverse just because the the. talented people all happen to be. diverse. >> Yeah. It's like UFC. >> Yeah. >> It's like a Russian guy, a [ __ ]. Chinese guy, white guy, Korean guy. But. that's what it's supposed to be. It's.

supposed to be Diversity is supposed to. occur naturally if you just let the best. people excel, >> right? Especially in something like. comedy because there's no barrier to. entry. It's an open mic night. All you. have to do is write on a pad, come up. with some ideas. You don't have to have. a lot of money to do it. Everybody there. that starts out as broke. >> Well, did you see those Oscars. regulations? >> Grace, >> that was a bummer cuz I'm a big movie. guy and I that really really bummed me. out. >> Good [ __ ] the Oscars. Who cares? >> I mean, I grew up watching it. I love.

movies, but like The Godfather, all. these movies would never have been made. or won. >> Never. Never. There's a ton of movies. that you could never make. You never. make Braveheart. >> Yeah. >> Right. Or Apocalyptto. All brown people. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. Boys in the. Hood. There's no Asian guy in there. Right. >> And it's a great movie. >> It's insane that you would have. diversity quotas when you're talking. about art because you're going to have a. What if you're doing a film about. Scotland in the 1400s. >> Exactly. >> You can't bring Asian people into the. mix. Okay. They don't They weren't.

there. But now you got to write one in. like, "Oh, this Asian guy is the best. doctor in Scotland." And you're like, "Wait, what? It's the 1400s.". >> Right. If you're going to write a, you. know, a thing about feudal Japan, it's. going to be all Japanese people. >> Squid Games. >> That's right. Squid Games. It's That's. okay. >> That's okay. >> I love that show. >> Yeah. >> Just like Sinners is okay. Have have a. movie with all black people. Like it. doesn't matter, >> right? >> It's just like just make movies and if. people like it, they like it. But this. idea of having a diversity quota where.

you have to think about that because. I've talked to friends that have pitched. shows and when they pitched the show. like Bert was telling me this he was. pitching a show and they were like. where's the diversity? >> M. >> and he's just like sitting there like I. don't know what to tell you. It's a. movie about Russians in Russia. [laughter] Like what are you [ __ ]. saying to me? Where's the diversity? What does that even [ __ ] mean? >> I know it's. >> it doesn't have to be diverse. It just. has to be good. And then if you have. enough good things, you're going to have. diversity across all these different. films. Yes. Because there's going to be.

films about black ballerinas. There's. going to be films about, you know, people uh you know, running in the. Olympics in 1936 in in Germany. >> Yes. >> You you're going to have films that. cover all the bases. >> I know. And let it just happen. >> Let it happen. Let the movie be good. >> Just let people create what they want to. create. And then. >> I think judging art is crazy anyway. I. think awards for art are crazy. >> It's all political, too. >> It's just nonsense, >> you know? Oh, he this Scorsese wins for.

The Departed and like that's not his. best movie. >> Like when they were doing the Golden. Globes for podcast, I'm like, "Good. luck. >> Get get out of here with that.". >> I didn't even submit. >> I heard. >> I'm like, "Get out of here. I'm not I'm. not going to be a part of your. bullshit." Like, you could just decide. who's the best and and who's deciding? Like, [ __ ] off. >> Exactly. >> Awards for art are just nuts. >> It doesn't work. And [snorts] then we. all go, "How'd they win? Is that is that. because of this or is he actually really. good? You know, and now you're. questioning it and you can't even get. into it. >> Well, do you remember Cisco and Eert? >> Yes. >> Well, they were the guys. >> I love Cisco and Eert.

>> I loved them too until I saw the out. takes and I realized they were both. [ __ ]. >> I know. But that was fun. >> going after each other. They hated each. other. >> Yeah, those uh YouTube outakes are. amazing. >> Amazing. They [ __ ] hated each other. >> Oh, yeah. But that was a fun show. Two. thumbs up, though. It was It was. lighter. >> Yes. It wasn't like this movie was uh. racist, >> right? It was like good or bad, >> right? They just judged it based on what. they felt watching the movie. And they. had they had educated takes. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. And but that's where a film that's.

where that's where that not awards for. art, but recommendations for art by. people that you appreciate. >> Yes. But I just picture the Academy. going, "Damn, that's a good movie." But, you know, it's not a trans guy in a. wheelchair. And this one does that. They. used to do it with retards. That was a. big thing with Oscars. It was like, "Oh, this guy's playing a a [ __ ] We got to. give it to him.". >> Exactly. >> And now it's more skin color based or. >> And then it got to Tropic Thunder where. they never [laughter] never go full.

[ __ ]. >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. >> They kill that genre. >> Yeah. >> You never see people playing handicapped. people in a film anymore. But that movie. is great because it shows Robert Downey. is in full black everything. Yes. And. everybody's like, "He nailed it.". >> I asked him about that. I said, "Do you. think you could do that movie today?" He. goes, >> "Well, you could do it." [laughter]. >> It'd be a [ __ ] problem. >> Yeah. >> He was the last guy to do Blackface and. not get cancelled. [snorts]. >> Yeah. And he [ __ ] killed it. >> Killed it. It was amazing. That movie.

was [ __ ] amazing. >> Amazing. the last completely politically. incorrect movie and it is hilarious. >> I know it's so good. >> You know who kills it in that movie? Tom. Cruz. >> killed it as the crazy agent. That. dancing. >> that guy so good. >> He's good. >> He's so good in I was just talking the. other day about that movie Collateral. with Jamie Fox who plays man. >> Great movie. >> That movie's I just watched it like a. couple of months ago. I was like this. movie is so [ __ ] good. >> Yeah. >> He's so convincing.

>> So scary. >> as a complete psychopathic killer. Yeah. And there's not much going on, but it. they those two together, the chemistry. was amazing. >> Well, when things happen, they're so. crazy. Like that scene in the alleyway. where he shoots those two guys are. trying to rob him. >> Great. >> You're like, "Fuck yeah.". >> Yeah. And and hats off to Jamie Fox. I. mean, >> he's so good in that movie. >> He plays like a kind of a nerdy scared. guy and then he could play Ray. >> Yes. That guy can do anything. >> Yeah, he can do anything. Yeah, I love. that guy. He's great. >> He's a talent. >> He's a super talented guy and a really.

nice guy. I've met him off like I met. him at a gas station once. He was taking. his daughter uh uh home from a martial. arts class. Wow. >> And we were just pumping gas next to. each other and some guy pulls up in one. of those Have you ever seen those Resani. trucks? Do you know what that is? >> No. >> It's a crazy like futuristic looking. bulletproof car. It's like a Resani. tank. >> Pull it up. >> Oh, it's cool looking. >> Is it electric? >> No. No. This is a long time ago before. electric cars. This is probably 2000.

Well, there was some Teslas, the real. small ones that were based on the Lotus. platform back then, but this is like. 2014 or 15 or something like that. That. thing. >> WHOA. >> HE PULLED UP AND HE PULLED UP AND THAT. that's Jamie Fox's car. >> That's like a Batmobile kind of thing. >> Exactly. So, he pulled up next to me and. I was like, who's driving that [ __ ]. thing? And Jamie Fox got, what's up, Joe? [laughter] What's up, Jamie? What. do you do? But he's cool. He's like a. normal dude. >> Yeah. And he did it all. He did stand. up. He did a living color. He had his. own sitcom and then the movies.

>> Ultra talented. Can sing. He can act and. he can act in comedy. He can act in. drama. He can play a nerd. He can play a. killer. He can play anything. >> I just rewatched Ray. It's incredible. >> It's amazing. >> Oh yeah. He kills that role. >> How good is he singing it? >> That's him singing. >> Yeah. I didn't realize Ray was such a. junkie. >> Was he? Yeah, that's right. >> Big heroin guy. That's why that's why he. was all moving like that [ __ ] He was. all wonked out on the on the H. >> You know, people say Stevie Ray Wonder. can sing or Stevie Wonder rather could.

sing. >> Can see. >> can see. >> I've heard that. He catches the mic too. fast. >> The microphone falls and he catches it. So that's a big conspiracy theory. But. uh looking back that's like the such a. gentle light conspiracy compared to what. we the [ __ ] we got going on today. >> I know, right? >> Yeah. That that Elvis is real. Like we. used to have a fun kind of playful. conspiracy. >> a lot. Yeah. Then then now it's all out. of whack. You know, it's Mclron's got a. dick. [laughter]. >> Exactly. >> I've heard Erica Kirk's got a dick. I've.

heard that one. >> Whoa. Well, she seems thrilled right. now. >> She's an odd duck. >> She's a cook for sure. >> You ever seen the compilation of her. making crazy eyes? >> No. >> There's a video of her making demon. eyes. And every time she makes the eyes, the music. [laughter]. so ridiculous. >> She's possessed. >> Well, she just gets intense. >> She's like the guy. What What's the gang. gang guy? What's that guy? Uh oh my god, look at that. She looks like a. television. >> Give me some some volume. She's talking. to Barry Weiss. >> There you go. >> Watch this. Pay attention to her eyes.

>> Charlie said or believed things that. they believed were controversial or even. hateful. >> that he somehow had it coming. >> What do you say to people who justified. you're sick? >> He's a human being. >> Oh boy. >> The eyes. >> Exactly what Barry is saying. They. basically said that because Charlie said. or. >> Okay. >> All right. We don't need the Vincent. >> That's not the one that I wanted to. hear. >> Okay. But yeah, [snorts] she seems uh. she's having a good time. Well, she was.

on a reality show, you know. >> Yes. >> So, she's a [ __ ]. >> a little bit. Maybe. >> She was also in some weird CIA documents. or CIA films. Is that right? >> Like Yeah. You ever seen those films? >> No. No. >> See if you can find those films. There's. some weird like internal films that they. made that she was a part of. >> [snorts]. >> She looks like uh if a pageant lady, a. pageant girl was grown up. >> 100%. >> There. Look at that. >> Yeah. Well, I mean, she essentially was. a pageant lady. >> Oh, really? >> Right. Wasn't she in like MissUSA or one.

of these things? >> I don't know. Maybe. >> Wasn't she got that kind of face? >> Oh, I don't know. >> Well, there's a thing that people want, right? That attention fame thing. >> That is what they really want. Okay, so. Jamie will find it. >> She's got fireworks behind her. She's. She's wild. Erica Kirk CIA video. releases serious questions. >> That's the one I just played. >> Yeah, >> it didn't have it had a 5-second clip. and the rest was not. >> Oh, but the the full video is out there. I watched it and it's very weird. >> So, it's the same video.

>> So, see if you play it. It's about EMP. attacks and power grids. >> The whole rest of this was not that. clip. >> None of it. >> Nope. >> Well, a gig's a gig. I think if you're a. struggling actor, you take any kind of. employee video or whatever. >> I guarantee you that video is out there. I mean, no one could have pulled it. Well, there's a the Jimmy Door video. there. Here it is. Here it is. Look at. this. >> Extremely vulnerable that we've. presented to congressional officials. One being cyber, two being hackers, three being physical threats, fourth one.

is solar EMP, and the fifth one is. man-made EMP. So, the concern that we. have is that we put out this critical. information and when we go over this. risk analysis, they hear what we're. saying, but they don't want to take. action. caption. >> Well, there are 18 critical. infrastructures. >> It's weird, but. >> very weird. She's doing a CIA. informational video. >> Weird. That's like an acting gig or is. this something else? >> Perhaps or. even so, you're doing an acting gig for. the CIA.

>> Who calls you for that? >> Yeah. >> You ever get one of those calls? >> No. >> No, I never got one of those calls. >> And my agent never hit me with that one. >> Yeah. It's odd. Well, there's a lot of. people that think that she was his. handler. >> She was Charlie Kirk's hand. But of. course, there's a lot of people think I. have handlers. >> Yeah. >> You know, >> well, you got about nine Navy Seals out. there. >> They're not They're my friends. They're. not handlers. I know those guys. >> Okay. >> Tough dudes. >> They are. They are tough dudes. >> They They know some stuff. >> There's a lot of cooks out there, bro. >> That's true. I mean, you just had a. shooter on Sixth Street. >> Yeah. >> Finally, a guy in Austin kills.

>> Only with three people, though. All. right. We don't have to get into the. Austin New York debate. >> But I'm bummed. That's a stupid debate. >> Ah, it's all silly. What are we doing? >> Lewis J. Gomez getting involved in these. things. [laughter]. Settle down. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just more comedy the. better. Keep put it in every city. >> I know, right? >> Yeah. Give me more good clubs. >> How is New York these days? >> New York's good. I mean, we're humming. We got all these clubs opening up still. and more opening. >> More opening. Yeah. It's crazy. And uh. comedyy's hot, as you know. Comedy has.

been. >> The more [ __ ] up the world is, the. more hot comedy is. >> That's probably true. Yeah. Yeah. But. it's it's legitimized now. You know, everybody takes it seriously. before you. were kind of a clown. Now they're like, "Oh, let's go see some comedy and listen. to them talk about Iran.". >> Well, I think one of the things that. helped is podcasts because people hear. comics talk about it and they realize. like, "Oh, this these are thinking. people that are going through this like. very bizarre art form that doesn't have. a playbook.". >> Yes. Right. >> And we could we have no rules where now. Oscars have all these rules. We will.

never have rules. Thank God. >> And if we do, the whole art form is. [ __ ]. >> Well, they've tried to put rules in in. certain clubs and those clubs always. fall apart. >> That's true. You know, you can't do. that. >> Well, it's so [ __ ] gay because. they're all like, "We love Richard. Prior." I'm like, "If he was around. today, you'd hate him, right? >> He hit his wife. He was a drug addict.". You know, >> right? >> He was a psycho. >> Kenisonson. >> Kenison, >> one of the [ __ ] greatest comics. that's ever lived. Completely out of his. mind. And also the best example of. someone who did not punch up. >> Yeah, >> he punched down all the time. He punched.

down about starving people in Africa. >> Yeah, I love Why Why do we decide. punching down was not funny? >> They're stupid. It's hilarious. >> I had a guy on once that was a professor. that taught comedy and he wrote a book. on comedy and he tried to tell me that. punching down is never funny. I go that. is wrong. >> That doesn't make sense. >> You're you're wrong. I go because Sam. Kinison, one of the greatest bits of all. time was him doing a bit about the. starving people in Africa, >> right? Yeah. It's a a legendary bit. David Tell has 18 minutes on midgets.

That's literally punching down. Like it. they're little. [laughter]. But it's funny. If it's funny, it's. funny. >> If it's funny, it's funny. And sometimes. it's funny because it's wrong. >> Yes. >> Sometimes it's funny. It's like, "Oh my. god, what he's saying.". >> Exactly. I know. >> Or Holtzman. >> Holtzman. Hilarious. >> Perfect example. People try to take. Holtzman literally. I've seen comics. complain about the mothership cuz they. let a guy come up and say these things. like what guy? Brian Holtzman, right? >> Like talk to Brian Holtzman offstage. It's Jackalyn Hyde. >> Completely nicest guy in the world.

>> Sweetheart of a guy. Friendly. Every. loves everybody. Super kind. >> He's like a camp counselor. He's wearing. a polo and slacks. >> The nicest fella on stage he becomes. this character that he's created over. the years and it's amazing. >> But we do the hierarchy thing and by. that logic I should be able to do make. fun of Asians cuz they're doing the. best. >> They are doing the best. >> Asians are number one then honky and. then who knows? But so by that logic I. should be able to do a ching chong. whatever. >> right? >> Cuz you know by your logic hey I'm. punching up.

>> right. >> They're killing it. >> They are. Especially academically. I. mean, they're killing it so hard that. they've made rules to try to eliminate. Asian people from university. Yes, there's [ __ ] lawsuits about it. They. made it more difficult. They have to get. higher scores. >> That's crazy. >> It's not because they kill it. They work. so hard. >> But what a crazy con. Hey, you look like. that guy. We got too many of you guys. who look like this. >> You're trying too hard. [laughter]. >> It's like a union job. Hey, slow down. Slow. You're [ __ ] it up for the rest. of us. Yeah. [laughter].

But yeah, let them keep killing it. Let. them be smart and invent [ __ ] and run. the country. I don't care. >> Exactly. Make make it so that you know. there's legitimate competition where the. other people realize, okay, we're not. working as hard. They're working hard. and we got to catch up. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You can't just slow them down and remove. them. There's too many Asians in. Harvard. [ __ ] you. >> Yes. That's why Japan, you can leave a. Rolex on a bench. >> Yeah. >> Because they they're they're better in a. lot of ways. Let them be better. Mhm. >> We don't have all have to be the same.

>> You know, that's the same thing about. Dubai. A buddy of mine uh moved to Dubai. and he said he's black and he was saying. that in America, he goes, "Dude, I go to. a nightclub. I worry about being shot.". >> He goes, "There's none of that there.". And he goes, "And if you could just. leave a diamond, like a diamond ring on. the ground, someone will pick it up and. turn into the police.". >> Damn. >> There's no theft. >> How do they do that? Is that cultural? Is that raised better? What is that? >> Laws. Hardcore laws. They have mon They. have kings. They have a king over there. And like you you can't [ __ ] around.

There's no [ __ ] around. If you [ __ ]. around, they will lock you up and that's. it. And there's no ifands or buts. There's no social justice warriors. There's no people that are going to give. you no cash bail and let you out because. you know, oh my god, the the system is. racist. No, no, no, no. You commit a. crime, you go to [ __ ] jail. So nobody. goes to jail because nobody commits. crimes. >> Damn. Is that what it is? >> Yes. >> But that's you [ __ ] around over there. Like there's a uh American lady went. over there and she got in arguments with. people at the airport and like you're. going to jail just locked her up. She.

was yelling at people. She was trying to. do the thing they do at Spirit Airlines. in America. Like uh-uh. >> not here. >> Well, the fist fights on airplanes has. gone up from if you go 1960 to 2025, it's got to be up 8,000%. >> What happened? >> I don't know what happened. >> What happened? Why we Why we lose our. [ __ ] marbles? Maybe because flights. got cheaper and you get bus people on a. flight. >> Uh, >> you know what I mean? >> Right. Bus people were the people who. were cutting people's heads off on a. [laughter] [ __ ].

interstate truck. Yeah. >> Yeah. I assume that's what it is because. you know back in the day they wore a. suit and they had a cocktail and they. smoked. >> Yeah. >> But taking a flight back then was a was. a big big deal. >> You ever you ever travel by bus? >> Oh yeah. >> I did a few I did a few bus gigs back in. the day because my car broke down. I. didn't have any money and so I had to. travel by bus. >> It hurts. >> the people you have to hang out with. [laughter]. It's like the dregs of society. We're on. these greyhounds. >> It really You know where else you see. that is uh I still do the free breakfast.

at the Holiday Inn. >> Oh, the characters you see in there. It's like a family, then it's a guy with. a neck tattoo, an excon, a tweaky meth. guy, and then me. >> I was watching a video about how people. that don't stay in that hotel sneak into. these hotels. >> I used to do that. >> Did you? Yeah, they just walk right in. You got pajama pants on. You You pull an. all nighter, you go get the free. breakfast. >> They're not going to stop you. They. assume you're staying there. >> Yeah. Well, they just want to make it. nice for everybody. >> Yeah. You can make a waffle. >> Yeah. But staying in a shitty hotel. teaches you a lot about humans.

>> That's true. >> That's what road gigs are really good. for. You You meet the people that are. working the [ __ ] counter, >> right? >> Some sad. >> Yeah. >> frownyfaced dude working the counter. >> The crazy ones are those like what do. they call when you like you can kind of. live there. They have a kitchenet. Oh. yeah. You know, the extended stay in. >> Yeah. There's like dogs everywhere and. and there people making making crack on. the stove and [ __ ]. >> You know who's in a hotel now? Mickey. Roor. >> Really? >> Yeah. He's in a hotel in Hollywood now. He got evicted. >> He doesn't have doesn't have ANY MONEY.

ANYMORE. >> WHAT? >> YEAH. It's a sad story. >> Oh, he was a hot guy and and a great. actor. >> Oh, he was great. >> Rumble fish. >> Oh my god, dude. So many films. Angeler. Yes. >> Oh my god, dude. So good. He was. incredible. Well, wrestler was when he. was making a comeback, right? >> So, he made a comeback for a little bit. He was in Iron Man, remember? >> He was great. >> But, you know, I don't know, man. I. think. >> he got a lot of work done. >> He did, but he made it after he got a. lot of work done. He still the comeback, the wrestler and everything was after.

the work. >> Yeah. >> You know, but but the thing was like he. did a lot of boxing. >> Oh, and. >> remember like he didn't like the fact. that he was like a big actor. He wanted. to be more of like a real person and a. man. So he started having fights. So. he's having like legitimate boxing. Allegedly legitimate. Some of them some. of them look sus. >> Some of them look like people laid down. >> But when you think about that, if he's. sparring, so he was sparring like James. Tony and like real people. >> He probably getting the [ __ ] brains. beaten out of him. And he probably went. a little squirly.

>> Yeah. CT is no [snorts] joke. >> It's no joke, dude. >> I mean Aaron Hernandez, all these guys. >> Oh yeah. Oh, a lot of these MMA fighters. that I talked to, like, you know, they're struggling. >> Yeah. Who who are these ladies who are. like, "Oh, I'll date this guy.". >> Cuz they're exciting and dangerous. That's why. >> dangerous. They'll [ __ ] hang you, [laughter] you know? I think he hung. himself actually. >> Who hung himself? Hernandez. Oh, in. jail, right? But he had killed a bunch. of people already. >> Yeah. >> Like he was killing people while he was. in the NFL.

>> Yeah. He was a wild [ __ ] But. then they said when they checked his CTE. after he was dead, like he had like some. of the worst CTE they've ever seen in. life. Yeah. his brain was gone. >> Well, there you go. >> A friend of mine who has CTE was. explaining it to me and the way um the. doctor was explaining to him like most. people have uh several steps to go to. before they lose control of their. impulses. >> Like you have an initial thought and. then your brain comes in and goes, "Don't do that." Yeah. And then there's. another one. It ramps up a little bit.

This is getting serious, but let's not. get out of hand. But someone with CTE, first initial thought, right into Defcon. 5. >> Whoa. >> They just immediately go. >> no buffer. >> No buffer. >> No, no impulse control. Cocaine, women, whiskey, what it is. Like the mo, especially with booze, you add booze, loss of inhibition, no impulse control. >> Shoot out with the cops. You know, it's. like right right to the worst case. scenario. >> Remember that Bill Burr bit? He's like,

"I'm driving down the street. I see a. bunch of people on the sidewalk. Just. quarter inch turn to the right. I'll. just mow them all down." Yeah. >> You have that thought, but then you. don't do it. >> Everybody has those thoughts. >> Yeah. You go up on the top of a a. building and you're like, "Ah, I could. jump.". >> You have that for a second, then you you. pull back. >> Some people just don't have it, I guess. Especially well brain damage is. basically like think about like if you. have a [ __ ] up phone like I I dropped. my phone once and uh I was in Hawaii and. uh it just started calling people like I. was showing my wife like look at this. this is crazy like you hang up calls.

another person hang up calls it was just. broken. >> so that's your brain. >> right. >> right all the wires are all [ __ ] up. and you got holes in there CTE and. >> wow. >> chronic traumatic encphylopathy. and Yeah. >> You know, your hormones are all [ __ ]. up. Your cortisol is all [ __ ] up. >> You got to put their head in rice. >> and you're just like all of a sudden. you're just running through red lights. You don't even know why you're doing it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> We're probably kind of fun in the middle. of it. >> Probably not. [laughter].

>> You're probably like, "Am I in control. of my own destiny?" I'm not, >> man. Yeah. We're lucky we're saying I. mean you you've taken a lot of blows. >> Yeah. I have mentally and physically. >> I have the right amount of brain damage. >> I'm not worried about things. >> That's good. I don't concern myself. about things that I think would [ __ ]. a lot of people. >> Right. >> Interesting. >> I think it makes me a little more. fearless. >> Yeah. It's like autism. If you have just. the right amount, you're a genius. >> A touch of the tism. >> A touch. >> Just a touch. >> Yes. >> You don't want to be non-verbal, but you.

want to be really good at math. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] It's almost like. blind guys who can [ __ ] do [snorts]. other [ __ ] right? >> They can hear better. Like echolocation. >> There you go. >> I mean, Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles. >> Yeah. I think I have just enough brain. damage. >> That's That's very interesting because. you wonder how could you. >> do this for so long and do comedy and do. UFC and uh drink and smoke weed and all. run a club. You got a lot of iron and. kids and a wife and [ __ ] dog and you.

got J Mo and cars. You got a lot of. plates spinning. >> But I'm still just me because I don't. have to ever be anybody but me. >> But you also do a ton of work on you. You do do the [ __ ] cold plunge, the. sauna, the working out, the kicking, the. fighting, the comedy. >> That helps. That's I always tell. everybody that's going through anything. like difficult in your life, do. something more difficult voluntarily and. it makes the difficult thing easy. And. so like a career in the public eye is. very difficult psychologically. So do.

something like my workouts are way. harder than anything I ever experience. in regular life. >> And you do it to yourself. >> Yeah, I do it to myself. >> That's the key. >> Yeah. So that when I'm done like I can. kind of tolerate a lot. Like if you do. jiu-jitsu, like I did jiu-jitsu for what. >> 25 28 years or something like that. >> Like just doing that all the time is so. hard that the rest of the world seems. easy. >> But weren't you beaten as a kid? >> No. >> I thought you got hit a few times. Or. your mom got hit. >> Yeah. Not me. Not me.

>> That could have that could have. scrambled some stuff. >> It definitely did. Well, it made me more. attuned to the potential of domestic. violence, which scares the [ __ ] out of. me. But I got hit a lot. But in. fighting, >> right? >> I mean, I started started training when. I was 15. Seriously. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So, for all my formative years, I was. getting my brains punched. >> Whoa. >> You know, I was getting kicked. I was. getting punched, you know. >> Have you thought about getting like. That'd be cool to get a real brain scan. exam on you. >> I don't want to know what's in there.

>> All right. All right. Just keep riding. it out. >> I don't want to know. >> cuz it's going well. >> It's going well. Yeah. So, I leave it. alone. But I think like you have to have. tools for managing stress. And one of. the best tools I think is voluntary. adversity where you force yourself. because it gives you discipline and you. understand like that you can control a. lot of the way you think and a lot of. the way you behave by your actions. >> Right. >> And it's also like I don't want to do it. every time. Like today I got in the cold. plunge and I was every time I do it I'm. trying to figure out ways that I could.

talk myself out of doing it. >> Yes. And then I [snorts] have one part. of my brain that's talking like a [ __ ]. And the other part of my brain, it's. like, "Shut the [ __ ] up. You're just. going to do it. You're not even going to. think about it. You're not going to. hesitate. You're just going to lift the. lid off of that thing. You're going to. set the timer. You're going to slide. into that 34°ree water." And you're just. going to [ __ ] sit there. >> and you're not going to [ __ ] and. complain. You're just going to breathe. And don't overreact. Just just deal with. it. >> And it keeps you in reality. Yes. This. is real. I'm freezing. Or you could die. Or you're lifting weights. You're like, "This sucks, but I'm I'm doing it." When.

you're doing sprints on the air dye. machine, it sucks. >> Well, also the society, the population. is more comfortable than ever. I mean, you got Uber Eats, you got Netflix, you. got all these comforts, so they're going. the other way. >> Yeah. >> And then we're kind of decaying. >> There's a guy named Michael Easter. He's. been on my podcast before. He wrote a. book called The Comfort Crisis. Great. book. >> Oh, there you go. >> He's a professor in um UNLV, I think. Um, but he like talks about it from like. a perspective of like how to ban like.

really manage and balance out life and. that comfort is your enemy. >> It really is. >> Yeah. >> It's 100% your enemy. There's no if. hands or butts about it. Like the desire. to constantly be comfortable, it doesn't. get you anywhere in life and it doesn't. make you happy. You think you're going. to be happy if you're comfortable. You're not. >> No. >> You got to be comfortable sometimes, but. you have to earn that comfort. Like I I. still watch t like I told you I watched. that guy cook [ __ ]. >> an an ostrich. He he he baked an. ostrich. >> That's crazy. >> Yeah. And I watched the whole thing like.

sitting there like a [ __ ]. >> because the world's on fire. I'm like. let me watch this guy cook [laughter] in. Azaba and go super. >> But it's better to watch that than Love. is Blind or some horseshit. >> I can't watch those things. >> I can't either. >> I don't like watching people behave. badly. >> I get I feel myself being dumber. I I. feel slower after watching. >> Yeah. I like watching interesting things. about space. I was watching something. about the James Webb telescope and what. they're finding out now. >> Yeah. Some new guy that has some theory. about how the universe is not expanding.

And is I I'm fascinated by really. interesting things and just people doing. things that they love to do. >> Well, Jimmy Carr said, "The key to life. is two words. Prioritize later." And. that's big. You don't want to exercise, but you do it so you're healthy. >> Yeah. You know, you don't want to eat. healthy or eat right. You want the. pizza. You want the Snickers, but you. think about later, right? >> And I think that's a big one, >> right? You want your comedy to do well. You got to write. >> You got to write. >> Sit down in front of that [ __ ]. computer or the notebook and just.

concentrate and then do those sets that. you don't Some of the best sets that. I've ever had are the ones where I'm. sitting at home going, "Can I get an. excuse to not do this?". >> Of course, >> I would be in my house not wanting to go. to the store and I was like, "I don't. want to do it." And then I would kill. >> And you're always happy you did it every. single time. Every time. Every time. >> I'm a big introvert. So I would always. go, I can't go to that party or that. thing sounds annoying. But if I go, I'm. like, "That was great. I had a great. time. >> It's that you're an introvert cuz. you're so good publicly.".

>> Well, I mean, we do an art form that's. pre-written. >> Yeah. >> So, >> but you're also good like this. >> But it's me and you. >> But you're also good in interviews and. like Good Morning America, one of those. >> [ __ ] around. But you know what I'm saying? Like. you're really good at those. But I can. do it one-on-one, but in a in a group. setting, I'm a mess. >> It's not pretty. And I I sit at home and. I go, I can't go. I can't What if I say. something stupid? Nobody likes me. I'm. annoying. Ah, and then I everything. everything tells me to stay home. But I. just push it. >> But don't you think it's healthier to.

have that perspective? Like, oh, people. are going to hate me. They're going to. then everybody loves me. >> Of course. Yeah. I don't want to be that. guy. >> That doesn't work. Right. That's like. when whenever I talk to people, they say. I got an imposttor syndrome, I go, good. That means you're healthy. Oh, >> everybody who's doing really well gets. imposter syndrome. >> Right. Right. David Tell thinks he's a. hack. He's the funniest guy on the. planet. >> Right. Everybody who's really killing it. in life at certain point goes, "This. doesn't make any sense.". >> Yeah. >> Why am I even doing well? Why is this so. good? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But now, do we are we just blessed in.

that way that we hate ourselves or. insecure or are we. >> do we have to find that out? >> Well, because I'm jealous of the guy. who's cool and collected. Yeah, but they're probably jealous of. you because you're talented. I think. that the thing about it is it's like if. you really believe you're something. better than you are, that prevents you. from getting better than you could be. >> I agree. Yeah. Yeah. If you if you think. you're great, you're you're you're. fixing something and you go, "That's. good. I did it." And it falls apart.

>> We all remember that from like the. beginnings of our career. Like there's. guys that thought they killed. >> Yes. Yes. >> And they were terrible. Yeah. >> They were bombing. No one was laughing. And they're like, "Ah, that was a great. set." You're like, "What did you hear?". >> You see all these 400 lb skanks who are. like, "I'm a 10." You're like, "What are. you kidding? You're an ogre, >> right?". >> But, you know, >> but that's that weird those shows where. they sit those ladies down and I don't. like those shows. >> I don't like those either. They're. they're too mean to the to the gals. But, uh, and look, I call everybody. skes, but I'm not going to just say that.

to a woman's face or whatever. So, those. make me uncomfortable. >> Yeah. Even the girl the gals that. deserve it, I'm like, "Oh, god. Don't. just don't talk to them. Don't don't do. that to them." No, no, no. It's weird. >> But people love it. They love it when. people get shut down. >> They really do. >> They love it. They love it when a really. stupid person with like delusional. perspective [laughter] talks to a genius. and gets just annihilated. >> I know. But I'd feel icky leaving that. studio. >> Oh, I would I feel icky watching it. Even like the little clips, I'm like,

"Oh, what are you doing to that poor. lady?". >> I know. >> Some of them deserve it arguably. >> Yeah. >> You know, they have ridiculous. perspectives. their their vocabulary. sucks and they try to use it anyway. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]. And look, maybe they should be It's like. cops. I see them shutting criminals down. and I'm like, "Thank God they're here. cuz I don't want to do it.". >> I would never want Imagine giving. someone a parking ticket. Oh, I'd kill. myself. >> Boy, how about pulling someone over and. thinking they're going to shoot you. >> Well, that's a whole thing. Yeah, >> they're all those guys have PTSD.

>> How could you not? I was talking to a. friend of mine who worked for the Austin. PD and he said, "Listen, Matt," and he. was in the he served overseas and was. deployed several times and he said, "I. saw way more [ __ ] working for the police. department than I ever saw overseas.". >> Oh, wow. >> Way more murders, way more crime, way. more dead bodies, >> way more [ __ ] up behavior. >> And then we [ __ ] on them. We go defund. them. They [ __ ] cops, AAB or whatever. And I'm like, we need them. We need. those guys. more of that stupid virtue. signaling because those people remember. that lady who was the mayor of uh.

Chicago was like all right yeah all. about defund the police meanwhile she. had her block shut down she had armed. guards with her everywhere like come on. lady. >> yeah and I get it cops aren't perfect we. got to have different money allotted to. certain things or whatever but. >> they need to be trained better for sure. >> yeah but you can't just [ __ ] on this guy. he's he's taking bullets to the head. just so we can be safe. >> it's literally one of the most important. jobs in a functioning society is to stop. criminals from ruining everything for. everybody else. And the only shield.

between us and them is police officers. And if you don't appreciate that, you. just don't know. You you're you're. either delusional, you're you're. arrogant, whatever it is, >> you need you should go on a ride along. A lot of people that have been on ride. alongs, they go on ride alongs. I I. haven't been on one. I should just say. that right away, but I know enough cops. I've talked to them. But if you go on a. ride along, you'll go, "Oh, these guys. are dealing with this for decades.". >> Not just one night, not just a couple of. nights. Yeah. >> Decades of [ __ ] chaos.

>> Why would they do that? >> Cuz it's a good go. It's a good job. You. can pay your mortgage. You can, you. know, raise a family and, you know, you. you come out of the military. You don't. know what you're going to do. You get a. job in the police force. >> and you feel good probably. I'm helping. I'm saving lives. >> A lot of times you are helping. A lot of. times you're stopping bad guys, you. know. I've noticed a lot of people who. hate cops are very coplike. You know, like these people like defund the police. and they're like, "Don't do that joke. Don't say that word." Like, you're like. a cop,

>> right? >> You know, there's a lot of that. Like a. lot of people who hate Trump I notice. are a lot like Trump. Like I'm not a. Trump guy, but these people like they're. also kind of a narcissist and an. egoomaniac. And I'm like, you're like. him. >> Like girls who are promiscuous who talk. [ __ ] about girls [ __ ] other guys. >> Right. Right. >> Right. That's always the case. >> Always. Yeah. Yeah. It's. >> there's always people like that. I think. you hate yourself. >> Yeah. >> Kind of like like Jew Palestine, they. look the same. They're not that. different. >> I used to do a joke about that. >> No way. >> Yeah. I I said when I look at Israel.

versus Palestine, I go it's like the the. Williams sisters playing each other in. tennis, right? >> I go, "Who the [ __ ] is who?" I go, "There's a a brownkinned guy with dark. color hair throwing rocks and a. brownkinned guy with dark hilly hair. holding the machine gun.". >> Exactly. >> What the [ __ ]. >> I have a similar bit about how the. people who hate each other the most, they're this they they look alike. Like. Ireland's been fighting. North Korea, South Korea was in the Crips. >> North Korea, South Korea is the best. example. >> It goes on for days. >> Yeah. They hate each other. You're. literally in the same patch of dirt. >> Russian. >> You look exactly the same. >> You look the same.

>> You look the same. >> I know. Women. >> Yeah, >> they hate each other. >> A lot of them do. Yeah. >> Competition though. >> I know. That's primal [ __ ]. >> They all prime dick. >> They all get mad. Someone's getting the. prime dick. >> Hot girl walks into a party, my wife. hates her. >> Really? >> She's like, "Fuck this bitch." I'm like, "She's nice. She gives to the poor. just. charitable and she's like, "I hate her.". >> One of my wife's friends got super upset. because someone showed up at her. wedding. Uh there was a date. This guy. brought a date and the date was super. hot and she had her tits out and this. lady was furious. [laughter].

>> Yeah. It goes It's an eight. She was, you know, she just overdid it. >> Right. Right. Exactly. >> Listen, that lady could show up with a. [ __ ] like a Job of the Hut outfit on. and you would hate her. >> She's hot. [laughter]. She's hot. She could have a cloak. She. could be dressed like a monk. You'd hate. her. She's beautiful. >> In college, I lived with a guy who was. 69, just like this big beefy Midwestern. football player guy. And every bar we'd. go to, guys would try to fight him. >> Of course, >> he was like a Birkenstockw wearing kind. of weed smoking guy. And everybody,

every guy was like, "You got a problem? You think you're tough? You think you're. hot [ __ ] You think you're better than. me?" And he's like, "Dude, I'm just. sitting here drinking." And he would. have to fight these guys. >> Bro, I've seen that happen with MMA. fighters. >> Really? >> People try to pick fights with MMA. fighters. They get drunk and they're. [ __ ] and they just think, "I'll [ __ ]. this guy up." Yes. >> Yeah. >> That's crazy. >> Stupid. There's a lot of morons in this. world. It's too easy to survive. >> It's too easy to be a We need wolves in. the streets. >> We need predators everywhere, right? >> We need something like a real fear of. the consequences of your actions.

>> Yeah. That's why animals stay in line. >> Exactly. >> You know, we talk all this [ __ ] about. animals, but they're like they're. keeping they got gender roles. They're. doing all the [ __ ] we're not supposed to. do. >> Not a lot of non-binary wolves. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> They don't make it. The male penguin. gets the fish, the female watches the. eggs. If they go, if he was like, I want. to be a graphic designer, [ __ ] this. [ __ ] Like, it would collapse. >> Exactly. >> It would all fall apart. >> Yeah. The idea of gender roles, like, you know, I had this lady on um who was. uh explaining the the roots of feminism.

It was the strangest conversation. because uh she was uh talking about how. all these people that started like. radical feminism were all completely. [ __ ] up. Ah, >> they were all out of their [ __ ]. minds. They're they're all like having. all these affairs, not raising their. kids, like completely selfobsessed, right? >> And they're the ones who tricked all. these women into being girl bosses. >> Oh, wow. >> Well, anytime someone is too outlandish. about something, there's always a a.

trigger for that. There's always a. reason. >> No, no matter what it is. >> Yeah. >> I'm going to take down these pedophiles. And you're like, what's going what's in. your basement? >> Right. >> You know, not I mean, I'm against. pedophiles. Well, have you seen like. when they did this uh like when. Pizzagate was happening, there was all. these people that debunked Pizzagate, four of the journalists that debunked. Pizzagate got arrested for either child. sex crimes or child porn. >> Wow. There you go. >> Isn't that crazy? It's. >> guys are like, "This is an unfounded. conspiracy theory. This is all.

bullshit." Meanwhile, they were perves. >> It's like same with Bill Cosby. Why is. he so gung-ho about you pulling your. pants up, speaking right, don't curse? There's something behind it. There's. always something behind it. >> Yes. He's the best example, right? >> Yeah. Ellen. Ellen is up there. Be kind. I'm dancing. And then she's the coups of. the year. >> Yeah. Well, I knew about that a long. time ago cuz Fitz Simmons worked for. her. >> Yeah, [laughter] that's right. He told. everybody. >> Oh, he told everybody. He told me like. [ __ ] decades ago. He's like, "She's. such a cunt." I was like, "Really,

Ellen?" I was shocked. >> I Me, too. We all. >> I was like, "She seems so sweet. She. seems so nice." He's like, "Dude, she's. [ __ ] horrible to her staff. She's. horrible to everybody." I'm like, "Wow.". >> Wow. There you go. Everybody loved her. >> During the pandemic when everybody was. bored before it all came out, >> I was like, "Hey, let me tell you. something about that lady.". >> But one one interesting takeaway is the. fact that she was kind of cancelled for. being gay in the 90s and she came out of. it and became a star and then she got. cancelled for being mean. That's that's.

progress. >> Right. >> Yeah. But people celebrated her because. she got cancelled for being gay. They. canled her show. Isn't that nuts? Like. you could get a show on the air now if. you were playing a gay character, >> right? >> They'd be like, "Ooh, diversity.". >> Yes. >> This is like going to get green lit. >> Yeah. Well, it's funny how that gay used. to be the ultimate insult in when I was. in high school and now I got friends. like, "Tell them I'm bye. >> I'm trying to fit in.". >> So, it went from an insult to like uh a. cool thing. >> I'm pansexual. That's my favorite. >> Yes. >> I'll [ __ ] everybody.

>> That's what it is. I'm attracted to. everybody. Like that's nuts. >> But in 20 years, you're going to be. like, "Tom, I'm a child molester. I'm. trying to fit in." Like, where does it. end? >> Well, there are academics that are. trying to say that these are minor. attracted persons. >> I've heard of maps. That's bananas. >> Insane. >> Why aren't we talk? Why isn't that a big. story? >> Gad Sad calls it suicidal empathy. You. get you get to a point where you're. trying to justify everything and. empathize with everything to the point. where you make horrific actions and.

terrible crimes justifiable. >> Well, doesn't it kind of horseshoe? You. know, like you see like a alt-right guy, he'll draw a swastika on a synagogue and. you're like, "All right, that guy's a. piece of shit." But then a a liberal guy. will do it on a cybert truck. >> Exactly. >> And you're like, "What? You guys just. met in the middle somehow?". >> Exactly. You're putting you're putting. cybert truck swastikas on cyber trucks. because you think Elon Musk is a Nazi. because he said [laughter] my heart goes. out to you while he's trying to stop. fraud and waste and they're using the. whole political machine to paint this. guy as a Nazi. You're buying into it to.

virtue signal and so to show that you're. buying into it. You're you're keying. Teslas. >> But when you look at the steps of it, it's it's fascinating. >> Well, it's the same it's the same thing. we were talking about earlier like the. religious right is the same thing as the. religious left. than Islamists. It's the. same thing. These are like patterns of. human behavior. >> where you want to point at other people. and not look at yourself and you want to. think that your radical beliefs are fine. and everybody else's radical beliefs are. wrong. >> But we've gotten there with politics.

>> Mhm. >> And that's what's scary because no one. people aren't there's not even two. parties anymore. There's two algorithms. Everybody's just seeing two totally. different realities. Yes. >> Like like these Iranian soccer player. ladies who are too scared to go home and. you're like where's Rapo? Where's that. that Lesbbo? Uh that loudmouth. She. She's uh a justice warrior. This is do. some justice, >> right? These people their [ __ ] family. back home is being kidnapped. Yeah. >> Like these people are in like real. danger. >> Yes. And no one's supporting them. >> Incredibly brave to do that. They show. the hair, whatever they do, and they're.

scared to go home and then like their. family members get tortured cuz they. won't come back. It's [ __ ] horrible. >> Exactly. I think those people sought. refuge in Australia now. They are. Yeah. That's right. >> I mean, their whole life has been. ruined. They're [ __ ] And no support. from the left. >> Yeah. Give a tweet. hero something. hashtag. >> It's crazy like how do they like pick. certain things to support and other. things they just blatantly ignore. >> It's [ __ ] fascinating and it's so uh. contradictory and I you know the right. will be like abortion's bad but then. they'll have an abortion.

>> behind the behind the style behind the. curtain. Yeah. >> Yeah. Or like the left like get horribly. mad at like the George Floyd violence. How do they do that to him? But then. that lady in Charlotte gets stabbed on a. train. Not a peep. Yeah, >> not a peep. Not a peep. >> You got some guy that's getting released. from jail like [ __ ] 40 times. She's a. violent offender over and over again. Stab some random lady who survived the. Ukraine war. She was a refugee from. Ukraine. >> and not not a bad looker. >> Hot. >> Very hot. >> That's the problem. >> Ah, >> nobody feels sympathetic for a hot lady.

She's got it too easy. >> Well, that's People are people. >> Nuts. >> Damn. >> Nuts. >> And then I feel like like some of this. we're saying is controversial. But how. is this controversial? We're just saying. what is. >> in a world gone crazy. Speaking sane is. controversial. >> That's why it feels so [ __ ] good when. [ __ ] comes back to real like when you. know we had to call fat people. beautiful. >> Remember they're all onic. >> THEY'RE ALL OMPIC. LIKE [laughter] WHAT. ARE WE DOING HERE? So now it's okay to. go all right I'm I like being thin. I. want to be hot. >> I know.

>> But they never go I was lying. I lied a. bunch. I know. >> I was a fat piece of [ __ ] and I hated. it. >> Lizo's losing weight. She was the fat. champion. >> I know. She's lost a lot of weight. She. looks good now. >> She looks great. But I like fat. >> And she's probably a lot healthier. It's. like better for her. >> Of course. >> Yeah. I mean, it's very strange. People. are mad at Jelly Roll for losing weight. [laughter]. >> Well, his name's Jelly Roll. You know, he [ __ ] up. >> Well, now he's a a jelly churro. [laughter]. >> He's lost 300 [ __ ] pounds with pure.

discipline. >> Is that Come on. >> Yeah. No Empic. >> Really? >> No Empic. >> What's he doing? He does testosterone. replacement and exercise. That's it. And. and changed his diet. Eliminated sugar, >> eliminated everything from his diet. >> because he was a big boy. >> He was 500 pounds. >> Wow. >> Yeah. He lost 300. He's in the twos now. >> And then 35 lbs of it is extra skin. >> Oo. >> He's got crazy extra skin. He worked out. with me in here. He he had ran six miles. the day before. Came into the studio.

before the podcast we did. He ran two. and a half miles on on the treadmill. I. watched him. >> Wow. I mean, talking like in great. shape. He's talking while he's running, laughing, joking around. >> Hey, good for him. >> Super nice to everybody. >> He's the sweet the sweetest [ __ ] guy. you ever want to meet. >> He's a very nice guy. >> to everybody, man. Everybody's he's. hugging everybody. >> He's like a sweet, kind guy. And he's on. the right path and he's lost 300 [ __ ]. pounds. >> Wow. Good for him. >> Yeah.

>> He's got to change the name. >> No, >> you can't be jelly rolling and thin. Just call him Jelly. >> I call him Jelly anyway. I don't even. What is his real name? I've known that. guy for [ __ ] seven years. I don't. even know his real name. >> Jason. Jason. You're Jason now. I'm. sorry. >> No, I' have known him for seven years. I. met him at my club. So, I met I've known. him for three years. >> All right. >> Jason. I didn't know that. I would have. guessed like Brian. >> Yeah. Yeah. Who knows? >> Who knows? But. >> it's cool that he's got a fake name, though. That's a good move. >> Yeah. That's a black guy move. >> Yeah. Wild vanilla ice.

>> A black guy move. [laughter]. You know, Earthquake, they all have cool. name. Lil Wayne. You gota have a cool. name for a black guy. >> Right. Right. Very few comics have done. that. Earthquake's one of the few. >> We had hamburger for. >> the cable guy. >> There you go. There's a white guy doing. it. >> Dice clay. >> Yes, >> that's a fake name. >> Right. >> So, a couple guys did it. >> Yeah. Dice clay is just dice. I just. call him Dice. >> He just kind of turned into Dice. He. just is Dice now. >> Well, most people don't know that he was. Andrew Silverstein. Yes. And the dice.

man was one of many characters that he. did on stage. >> Travolta, Jerry Lewis, he did a bunch of. guys. >> Oh, he's got great impressions. >> He's a talent. He's a talented guy. >> He's not just a talented guy. That guy. is a legitimate performance artist. >> He does performance art on the street. for fun for no money and he's literally. mocking the fact that he's not famous. >> Yes, that's comedy. >> The most ego-free. version of that [ __ ]. >> I opened for him once and I was kind of. nervous. He's, you know, he's he's a. legend. And I went up to him and I was.

like, "Hello, Mr. Dice. Just letting you. know I'm your opener." He goes, "You. want a picture?" I'm like, "No, I'm just. letting you know I'm your opener. How. much time do you want me to do?" He. goes, "You want a picture?" And I'm. like, "I don't need any picture. Just. how much time do you want me to do?" He. goes, "Get over here." And he gets me in. a headlock and takes a picture. [laughter] And I never I just didn't. know how much time to do, but he was. [ __ ] with me. >> He gave me great advice in the '9s. >> Uhhuh. >> I was doing news radio and uh I was just. doing the store and the laugh factory. and the improv. He was like, "You should. do the road.". >> And I said, "Really?" I go, "Why?" He.

goes, "You don't want to be relying on. these [ __ ] jerkoffs to make your. living." He goes, "You're a funny. comic." He goes, "You could be. headlining all over the country making a. good living. You don't need these. [ __ ] people.". >> That's really nice. >> It was the smartest thing that anybody. ever taught me. >> You got to do the road. >> I had to do the road because I was, you. know, I was doing like 15inute sets and. then, you know, I never was really. headlining for like a few years. >> Yeah. Yeah. And I I did back when I. lived in New York. And then all of a. sudden I was like, you know, he's right. And then I started really putting. together an hour, like a solid hour on.

the road, and it got way better. Like my. act got way better. And and then I. realized like if a show gets cancelled, I can still make a living, >> right? You know, like whereas everybody. who just works in those poor comics that. stop doing the road and then become. writers, that's even worse than being an. actor because nobody knows who you are. and you're completely reliant on the. scene to feed you. And then you have a. mortgage, maybe you have a family, you. have a wife and kids, maybe you have.

college you have to pay for. >> Those writers rooms are cushy, though. You get air conditioning, you get. snacks, and you get a healthcare, you. get a paycheck, you go into an office. every day. But you're writing the funny. stuff that that other person says. True. >> And in the back of your head, you know, like the reason why it's funny is. because of my mind. Yeah. >> And no one knows who I am. >> I know. >> It's a velvet prison. >> And then you see these 65-year-old. comics back on the funny bone train cuz. they got to make money. >> and no one knows who they are. >> and they can't sell a ticket. >> They can't sell a ticket. >> That is a bummer. >> It's a bummer. Yeah. >> And all these guys that missed the.

podcast train too. >> Ooh. A lot of those guys like year. they've kind of abandoned the bitterness. but years ago guys were they were really. bitter. >> I remember that. >> Like are you a comic or are you a. podcaster? Well, I can't do both. What. am I doing all day? >> Yeah. It's a cheat code. People get to. know you. They listen to you every day. or every week and then you get to go to. their town. >> Yeah. And in conversation with people, you come up with ideas. >> That's true. >> That's a big one. >> That's true. Yeah. I mean, I think I. think this podcast saved the store. >> Oh, yeah. 100%. I was a part of it. I.

know for a fact it did. It changed. everything. >> You had all those guys, Santino, Theo, all those. >> 100% sure 100%. It changed the store and. it changed everybody's attitude towards. each other because instead of being. competition, like we're all struggling. to try to get this one spot on a sitcom. or this one host of a show. Instead, we're all like an asset to each other. cuz we're guests on each other's show. Hey, could you help me promote my. Netflix special? Yeah, come on. And. everybody's an asset. Everybody helps.

everybody. >> They help Yeah. your guest on their. guest on yours. And it's so uh uh. lowmaintenance. You just set it up in a. hotel room and put it out. >> Yes. And people love it cuz they love. real conversations. And it's hard to get. those in this weird world where. everybody's communicating on social. media. >> Well, it makes you think that maybe. that's why actors have to play ball. >> because they don't have this thing to. rely on. So, they got to, you know, play. the game and [ __ ] each other. The. sane ones that I talk to, they talk. about the deep pain that it gives them.

having to [ __ ] acquies to these. people. >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, I just did, you know, I'm doing this crazy press tour with the. special. I just did a late night show. and it was fun. You do the couch, you. put makeup on, you put on a nice jacket, and you you yuck it up for the live. audience, but you're just sitting there. going, "That guy's got a headset and a. clipboard. What is she doing over there? He's like a page. He's a intern." It's. so much wasted money. >> So much wasted money. And you're like, "No, one of these are kind of going. away. It's unnecessary.". >> Well, that was the thing about the. complaint about the Co Bear show being.

cancelled. They're like, "You're. censoring you're censoring speech." But. Coar show is losing CBS4 to $50 million. a year. >> Jesus, that's wild. Well, who watches. it? I mean I mean, no offense to these. guys. They're all super talented, whatever, but it's like. >> Well, the idea that they're supposed to. keep that thing on the air while they're. hemorrhaging money from it is crazy. And. the guest is just like a crapshoot. Who. who we getting today? Snookie. Oh, great. I'm not gonna watch that. >> I couldn't think of anybody relevant, but [laughter] you know, they got to sit.

and talk to Snookie. You got a you got a. book out, huh? [cough]. >> Who's going to watch that? >> That was Bill Hicks's old joke about Jay. Leno killing himself. [laughter]. >> Do you remember that joke? >> Yeah. >> Sitting down next to Joey Lawrence. Hey, you got a girlfriend? Remember? And then. he sticks an uzi in his mouth and it. blows out his brains. They form an NBC. peacock cuz he's a company man to the. bitter end. Well, that's why Conan, he. saw the writing on the wall and he said, "I'm starting a pod.". >> Yeah. Well, he also left and did the TBS. show, which was like way less pressure, you know? That was a good move cuz he.

still get to do his own show and people. watch it that are fans. It still kept an. audience, but he still stayed himself. >> Yeah. Yeah, that's true. >> He's a smart guy. >> He's a smart guy and he's very funny. guy. >> Super funny. >> Very funny guy. >> He helped me a lot in the early days, too. >> Yeah. I was on his show way way back in. the day. A friend of mine was a writer. on his show in the very beginning and uh. when I went to the filming their banter. was all planned out. They had. >> they had these big like postboards with.

all the dialogue and someone would be. standing behind what was the other guy's. name? >> Rtor. >> Yeah. Andy Richtor. Someone would be. standing behind Andy Richtor and someone. would be standing behind Conan. And so. they would read the things that they. were going to say. >> It was all scripted out. I was like, "Oh, this is crazy.". >> That's funny cuz when I did this late. night show, they call you at like 10:00. in the morning like, "What do you want. to talk about?" It's uh what do you call. those guys? Like the producer guy who. gives you the and he's like, "What about. this?" I'm like, "Nobody cares about. that." He's like, "What's Talk about. your writing process and how you got in.

stand up?" I'm like, "That's just hack. [ __ ] that's been done to death.". >> Exactly. >> Let me riff. I'm a comic. >> Yeah. Well, I did the Bob and Tom show. once and they they tried to do that to. me. The producer got upset at me. Bob. and Tom were great, but yeah, they the. producers were upset with me. >> He like visibly upset. He goes, "Well, what are you gonna bring up?". >> Yeah. >> And I go, "I don't know." He's like, "You don't know.". >> I go, "We're going to have fun. Don't. worry about it." I've done this a. [ __ ] million times. >> Exactly. >> Just go in there and have a good time. Don't worry about it.

>> I did it once. I was so green that they. made me write on loose leaf setups and I. wrote like eight setups. So then he'd be. like, "So I hear you have a dog." And. I'm like, "Yeah." And I do my dog bit. >> Oh, it's horrible. >> I know. It was like school. >> That used to be all morning radio. Guys. doing their act on the radio. It was. terrible. >> Terrible. >> Terrible. Fake. You know what changed. that? Opie and Anthony. >> Opie. >> Oh yeah. >> Opie and Anthony was the beginning of. podcasts. >> Not Stern. >> No. Stern was the beginning of free. speech.

>> Stern was the beginning of like being. wild on the radio. He's the goat. Like. if it wasn't for him, none of this we. would have no podcast. Well, I don't. know if we wouldn't have a podcast, but. the evolution of it would have been. stalled radically. >> Yeah. >> He was the guy that stuck his neck out. He was the guy that got fined like. during the Bush administration. People. forget about that. They were going after. him for indecency. >> Oh, yeah. >> Blast. Well, not blasphemy. Um, obscenity. They were finding the [ __ ]. stations and sh insane amounts of money, right? >> But he was so big that he stayed alive.

and survived that. But then Opie and. Anthony came along and it was totally. different. It was just wild and loose. and it was just Norton and Voss and. Patrice and and [ __ ] Louie and all of. us and we and Ari and we would all go in. and I loved going there. >> I love going. And then when Anthony. started doing live from the compound, so. he had this. >> sick house in Long Island. They made a. ton of money. >> Oh yeah. >> And he had this sick house in Long. Island. He built his own studio in his.

basement so he could live stream. >> Oh wow. >> And he had like Guinness on tap and he. had like real professional microphones. and cameras and. >> it was nuts. Freedom. >> And I was like, "Wow, that's it." Like. and they were trying to get him to stop. doing it. >> Really? >> They were saying, "Yeah, this is. violating your cont." He goes, "I'm not. making any money off of this. I'm just. doing it." Love the game. >> And they were upset that he was doing. this on on the internet. >> Wow. >> Yeah. And so he And then Tom Green. Tom. Green was a big one. >> Oh yeah. That was a big one.

>> He did his his internet show. >> Yeah. >> But it was just totally loose. Like. there was no asking you what you wanted. to talk about when you were sitting on. the couch. Just came in and hung out. >> And Tom Green's a funny guy and he's. smart and loose and we're having a good. time and. >> and I was like, "This is it. This is the. future.". >> He was weird, innovative. He got ball. surgery on air. >> Remember that? He got he had ball cancer. and he he did the surgery on the show. >> Did he really? >> Yeah. He was ahead of the game. But. these these TV shows are so weird. because they want comics on but they. don't want you to be a comic,

>> right? >> These morning shows are like, "Oh, what's up, funny man?" And you're like, "Well, I told him." And they're like, "Cut it. Cut it." YOU KNOW, LIKE I'M. JUST being me. >> They're just scared. You had me on. >> Scared. They get scared. >> You know, they get scared of losing. their job. I mean, those people are. really scared because they they don't. nothing. All they have is like, "Hey, good morning. It's 5 past the hour. You. know, here's Tom with weather." It's. like it's like a [ __ ] fake gig. And. so, anything could take it away from. them. So all the stuff that they rely. on, their [ __ ] membership of the. country club they have to pay for, all.

that stuff could go away at any moment. They're all They live terrified. >> That's a prison. I know. >> You might as well be a weatherman. >> Yeah. And even the weatherman. Same. thing. >> Yeah. That's a good gig though. >> I guess. >> I mean, you just eight minutes and go. the Doppler. Oh. You do some hand. movements and then you're done. >> Yeah. It's just you live in hell. We're. lucky as [ __ ]. >> We're very lucky and I'm very grateful. >> We're lucky as [ __ ] But this this. platform like the the podcast platform. that we all enjoy that we all do. wouldn't have existed without Opie and. Anthony. Opie and Anthony was the first.

time where comics got together and was. it was completely loose. >> Yeah. >> It was just there was no figuring out. like what we're going to say. Everybody. was just riffing. They're all [ __ ]. on each other. And then when it went to. XM it was amazing cuz then you could. swear. >> Right. Right. >> Oh my god. It crazy. If you've never. heard it, go on YouTube and watch it. There's some [ __ ] comedy gold on. there. >> Gold. Especially the Patrice episodes. Oh my god, he was so good. >> That's where he really shined. You know, him and Louis together talking about.

black verse Mexican was amazing. [laughter] And they they do one episode. where they talk about where the nword. came from and Louis goes, "Well, I think. it was just a bunch of guys being. nwords.". >> You never heard [ __ ] like that. >> That was comedy gold. >> Well, you' be free. And then tough. crowd. >> Yeah, that was another one. >> Another one. another kind of situation. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Where comics just got together and. just and Colin Quinn was hosting it and. he's hilarious and everybody's just. riffing and [ __ ] around and Norton's. chiming in. Nick Depollo's chiming in. and Greg Geraldo when he was alive.

>> Oh, brilliant guy. >> Oh, he was great. >> Yeah. But comedy is weird cuz like I got. my special out and it's only been out. like a day or two, but I'm getting all. these nice messages. I love that bit. I. love that bit. And those are the bits. that didn't really do as well as some of. the other ones. Isn't that weird how. that works? Well, sometimes people just. like something clever that's different. than the way they think. Like, oh, I. like that, right? Like, it isn't, you. know, there's there's bits that are just. hilarious and there's other bits that. just make me smile. Like, that's [ __ ]. great. That's a great bit.

>> That's true. >> Just like Hicks said that once, like if. you're if it's not going to be funny, at. least make it interesting. >> Yeah, that's good. >> Yeah. Be funny, but just be you. >> But if you can be both. >> Yes. >> That's the the winner. >> That's the key. That's the key. [clears throat]. >> Yeah. >> And it's just this [ __ ] constant. dance. And then as soon as it's over, oh. my god, I'm starting from scratch. >> Oh, that's where I'm at. I got the. special out. I'm back to square one. I'm. the worst comic in America right now. >> You gonna be at the club tonight? >> I'll be there. >> Joey's at the club tonight. >> Oh, >> Joey Diaz is headlining it. >> I don't want to follow him with my. horseshit. >> No, he'll be headlining.

>> Okay, great. >> But no one has to follow him. He's a. [ __ ] animal. He's He's on fire right. now. He's on fire. Yeah, because he's. been doing these residencies. He's been. doing casinos in Philadelphia. He's been. doing shows all around New York and New. Jersey. He's killing it right now. >> Oh, good. >> I'm still trying to get him to move out. here. >> I'm trying. >> I can see that. >> I'm going to have to get him a place. I. think I'm going to have to buy a place. >> Little warm out here, though. He's a. sweaty Cuban. >> Yeah, he'll deal with it. Cub's hot, too. >> That's a good point. I mean, really, right now,

>> he don't really complain about heat that. much. >> All right. >> Joey complains about [ __ ] [ __ ]. >> These [ __ ] Moes. These white people. Joe Rogan, you're around these [ __ ]. white people too much. >> Yeah. Well, New York's the weirdest cuz. you walk by a hobo jerking off and then. I'll tell a zinger and people are like, "Easy, >> isn't that weird?" I'm like, "There's a. dead guy on Third Street and you in the. subway you took here and then I tell a. joke and people like whoa, buddy.". >> Well, it'll turn around. It just has to. like culture goes in these big waves. It's like a seessaw. It goes up, it goes.

down, it goes back, it goes forth. >> It just feels with with younger there's. an HR vibe in the in the in the young. world. >> Well, you think that's the world they. have to live in every day at work. >> Yeah, that's a good point. They go from. the university where they're taught that. [ __ ] and then they go to a job where. they're taught that [ __ ] and that [ __ ]. can actually help them get ahead, >> right? >> And if you enforce it, like people are. like, "Oh, they're scared. They'll help. you. They'll move you ahead.". >> Yeah. >> You know, if you push these values and. push these ideas, like it'll help. And. then there's people that are their whole. job is just enforcing that stuff in the.

workplace. >> And those people are [ __ ] up. >> Those are scary people. >> HR people are the wackiest nuts on the. planet. >> Oh, those are the scary people cuz those. are the [ __ ] the hall pass monitors, >> right? You know, you're. >> right. It's It's kind of like uh Asian. porn. You know, Asians are the most. repressed people and their porn is. bananas cuz they got to get it out. >> You know what's nuts about some of their. porn? They have to blur out the. genitals. >> I know. Silly. >> Help me out. >> What are we doing here? >> Help me out. Yeah. >> Like, I don't get to see her [ __ ]. where she's [ __ ] in a guy's mouth. [laughter].

>> This is crazy. That's funny. >> This is legitimately crazy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Uh, you know, like in the in. the 90s, you couldn't say [ __ ] but you. could say the n-word. >> on TV. >> Interesting. >> Yeah. Saturday Night Live. >> Exactly. You'd say the end itself. >> That Chevy Chase Richard Prior thing. >> Yes. Exactly. But you couldn't say [ __ ]. it in at all. So, it's funny how we we. take certainly that's okay, but not. that. >> I know. People are always looking to. tell people what to do. >> Yeah. >> That's really what it is. >> That's not new.

>> They're always looking to define people. as being worse than them. Like, that's a. bad person. I'm a good person. Yes. >> And they're always looking to tell. people what to do. >> Yeah. >> That's as old as time, you know. >> Yeah. Sure. >> These old, you know, but it just keeps. shifting. Like in the 50s, you couldn't. have a man and a woman in the same bed, but you could smoke in front of a baby. >> And now you you can have a people. [ __ ] on TV, but smoking is like uh. they have a a disclaimer. >> There's always going to be [ __ ] in. this world ruin it for everybody. [laughter] There's uh no matter what you. do, there's always going to be people. that try to find a loophole, try to find.

some [ __ ] cheat code, sneak their way. to the top, take OPIC, do what they got. to do, >> I guess. So, but we're all going to die. one day, folks. You might as well have a. good time. >> You should be having a good time before. you die. >> Don't Don't wait till you die and go, I. should have had more fun. >> Yeah. Well, don't have too much fun. Burer's uh he quit drinking. >> He had to. He had blood clots. >> Yeah, probably from the vax. [laughter]. >> He took four of those [ __ ] things. Really? >> Yeah. He had to keep taking him because. he was doing projects.

>> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. They kept telling him he needs. another booster in order to do this new. thing. >> Well, what happened to his tour bus? >> What happened to his tour bus? >> Oh, J Mo. His tour bus caught on fire. >> When did this happen? >> I think three days ago. >> Oh, >> they got a flat tire and then. >> it just randomly like I think they got. another ride and like while they were. getting the ride, it caught on fire. >> What happened? >> They could have been in there. I think. he's uh he might be smartly saving it. for a podcast or something. >> Well, it's all over the news, too. >> Yeah, they just showed the fire, but I. don't think that they've said like what.

caused it. >> He did a big Instagram live about it. I. didn't watch it, but uh yeah, that thing. is torched. It's It looks like Gaza. footage. >> That's the type of guy might light his. tour bus on fire just for clicks. >> Look at that. >> Whoa. Comedian Burst Crusher's tour bus. destroyed by fire in Minnesota. Yeah, the [ __ ] Antifa got him. >> Yeah, [laughter] Minnesota's cursed, man. >> Fire is unknown. Yeah, Antifa. I'm. calling it. >> Ah, >> I'm calling it. It's the anti- ice. people. We are all safe, but my bus is. gone. God works in mysterious ways. What? >> Oh, he lit it on fire.

>> As soon as you say God works in. mysterious ways, >> look at that thing. >> That's nuts. >> Something can't stop the machine. >> Wow. That's crazy. >> Something's burning. >> That's got to suck cuz that that was a. very expensive expensive tour bus. >> Yeah, >> he sp he was always on that thing. >> Oh my god, that is crazy. I have never. had the desire to get a tour bus. >> I don't like it either. I' I've open for. Bert on the bus and it's fun, but I. couldn't do that all day every day. >> Well, I don't get hammered like he does. So, it's like this idea of just touring. around. But like my friends that are.

music like Sturgil Simpson, he loves. being on the bus. >> Yeah. Some people love it. >> He said it's like it's like a living. room that you travel around in. They're. all strumming along, singing songs, partying, laughing, watching movies. >> I guess it's nice. Give me a flight. I'll get there in 10 minutes. >> Exactly. You're traveling to the gym. I. need to go to the gym. I need to eat. steak. Nice restaurant. I I don't like. doing that. >> I'm with you. And that bed is like a. coffin. >> Yeah. >> And you feel the bump of the road. You're like, "Oh, we could just turn off. any minute on the highway.". >> You think about crashing.

>> Exactly. >> What about that guy driving falls. asleep? >> Oh, and those aren't the most standup. guys driving those, but they're like. ex-cons and pedophiles. >> Weird. It's weird. Also, I've never done. those long tours like that. I don't like. those. >> I don't either. >> I think they're bad for you. Well, also. we got kids, so I like to get in, get. back. Get in, get back. >> Yeah, I've always done that. I've always. done like a week, except one time I did. the Maxim comedy tour with Charlie. Murphy and John Hefron. Whoa. >> We did uh we did 22 dates in a month and.

I hated it cuz I'd be waking up and I'm. like, where am I? I didn't know where I. was, >> right? >> Cuz you're always on the road. >> 22 dates is crazy. >> It was nuts. >> in a row. You don't you don't even know. what day it is. >> But by the end of that month, woo, you're sharp. >> You're tight. Oh, you're sharp. You're. just out there murdering. You're just. like your timing is on point. Everything. is just rock solid. >> And in a weird group, Hefron, Murphy, and you. Yeah. >> That's a lot of range. >> It was fun. >> Hefron's funny. >> He's fun. He was really funny.

>> Clean, too, I think. >> Yeah. Well, he mixes it up. He's not. clean offstage. Offstage is hilarious. >> He's just hilarious, period. He's a. really good joke writer, too. And this. was like he had come off of Last Comic. Standing. He won that, >> right? >> And then Charlie was the best. >> Oh, yeah. She was such such a good dude. >> Such a real man. A real solid dude. >> Well, Eddie Murphy always talks about he. was kind of his protector. Like if he. talks [ __ ] about Eddie Murphy, he would. just go beat you up. >> Oh yeah. Well, Charlie was a legitimate. martial artist. >> Oh, is that I didn't know that.

>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He fought in. karate tournaments and [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. We we talked a lot about martial arts. He knew he knew his [ __ ] for sure. >> Oh, I didn't know that. >> Yeah. I thought he was a street guy. >> No, he knew how to fight. He was a. dangerous guy, but just a nice guy. just. a solid human being. I didn't even know. he was sick, man. I had no idea until he. was until he died. >> and he kept it quiet. Just like Norm. did. >> Yeah. >> No one knew. Norm was talking about. moving to Austin. >> He was talking about coming out here.

Yeah. >> Wow. >> And then just [ __ ] died. >> That's so commendable in this like. victim culture. He could have gotten so. much so many points off that and he just. wrote it out. >> Apparently, he had been fighting cancer. for a long time. Yeah. >> And if you look at him, like when he got. real puffy for a while, that was. probably what was going on. >> Oh, >> yeah. He was probably battling cancer. >> If you watch his old I'm talking8s. clips, he's holding his stomach like on. Letterman cuz he had stomach cancer. >> Wa. >> And that's why he always touched his. stomach cuz I think it hurt. >> He had it for that long.

>> He had it cuz it he had it and then he. kind of beat it and it came back. >> Yeah. >> Crazy. He's a hero. >> Oh man. >> Is there a funnier guy than Norm? I. mean, >> one of the funniest guys of all time. >> Funny on a podcast, funny on standup, funny in movies, >> funny talking to him in the hallway at. the store. >> Yes, exactly. >> And just a great guy, man. >> Oh, yeah. >> A great guy. >> And, you know, and would go after people. who are [ __ ] online, too. >> Yeah, he did. >> Seth Simon guy went after him. Oh, really? Yeah. One day I'm I'm going to.

meet you in real life. >> Whoa. He wrote Shane a nice Shane showed. me the the email after he got. >> a solid He was a solid dude. He was a. real solid and [ __ ] funny, man. So. brilliant, >> so funny, >> enlightened, and he was like a. Dosstoyfski reader, you know, and. everybody thought he was this, you know, dumb guy. >> I I sat next to him randomly on a flight. twice. >> Don't do the smoking story. >> I did already. >> All right. All right. We've all heard it. too many times. >> Sorry. But [laughter] just randomly. sitting next to him on a flight, it was. like, it was such a treat.

>> That's a gift. >> Just to hang out with him for [ __ ]. hours on a plane, just laughing and. talking. >> He was great. Yeah. >> Solid dude. There's good people out. there. Yeah. >> Exist. >> Yeah. He was great. Yeah. >> And he changed Weekend Update. >> Oh, yeah. >> I mean, the fact that he got fired for. being funny. He told the truth. He told. the truth about OJ killing his wife and. he got in trouble. >> Is that what happened? Is that how he. got fired from Weekend Update? >> Because Olmire was like the head of NBC. and he was friends with OJ. >> Ah. >> So he was like, "Stop [ __ ] on OJ.

He's a friend of mine." He's like, "I. can't. He's a murderer.". >> That's crazy. You told him to stop. [ __ ] on OJ. >> And he kept doing it and he got fired. >> Really? That's what it was. That's. crazy. Let me hear what he said. Back [cheering] it up. >> And now the fake news. Well, it. >> ah. >> this is finally. >> I'll be honest. We can't. >> can't play it. Okay. We get in trouble. >> Yeah, you can see it. It's amazing. It's. He's got a whole compilation.

>> Let's wrap this [ __ ] up. Bring it home. >> All right. >> Mark Norman, you're the man. Appreciate. you, brother. >> New special. >> New special out on Netflix. I know it's. hilarious. I watched you work out some. of the material. It's called None Too. Pleased. It's available now. As of the. time we're talking, it's number five. I'm sure it'll boost the [ __ ] up after. this. >> Hell yeah. Kick it up a notch. >> And I'll see you tonight. >> Thank you, sir. >> Let's [ __ ] go. >> Comedy. >> Comedy. >> Bye, everybody.

[music].