Joe Rogan Experience #2458 - Matt McCusker
Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. >> The Joe Rogan Experience. >> TRAIN BY DAY. JOE ROGAN PODCAST BY. NIGHT. All day. >> A lot of people [music] have lights on. their tables now to light up their face. to make them look more pretty. Really? >> Yeah. They have like a slight like a. like a opening in the table and then a. light that gets on you so you don't see. like the shadows in your face so you. don't look look shitty. >> I feel like doesn't isn't that what you. do? like a scary story. You put a.
flashlight under your [laughter] chin. >> Yeah, but they're not trying to do that. They're trying to like balance it out so. you look flat. >> That's crazy. [sighs]. >> You look like what you look like. >> Yeah. You got to give up after a while. >> The weirdest [ __ ] is men who use filters. when they take pictures. >> That's insane. >> I There's comedian men that use filters. Yes. It's very odd. >> How do you know? How do you tell? >> You know what they really look like? >> Yeah, it does. >> And then you see them and they look like. a cartoon. Like uh Netflix does that. with their um the pictures that they use.
when they promote your special like the. picture of you. They'll put that [ __ ]. through a filter. >> And that makes sense. >> You look so pretty. [laughter]. >> If people see you after the show, you're. like, "You look horrible. I didn't know. you looked so bad. >> You look so old.". >> Thanks, man. >> I am so old. [laughter]. >> Yeah. I'm almost 60. >> Dang. >> I know. It's crazy. I'm 58. >> I'm 40. Just turned 40. >> That's Those are real numbers. >> Yeah, I know. I I aged as soon as I had. kids, I aged like immediately. You would. have thought I literally gave birth. >> Yeah. Well, it's this lack of sleep.
>> Yeah. That's what got me. [snorts]. >> Yeah. You know what's really good for. that? Creatine. >> I I've been taking it. >> Yeah. Creatine. They say 20 grams a day. Start like with five and work your way. up to 20 and check to see how your. butthole holds up because the seal might. be loose. >> I' I've ran this [laughter] experiment. Actually, >> 20 gets my guts going, man. >> Bro, it does. It does. I don't do 20 in. a dose. I do 10 in the morning and 10 at. night. >> Cuz I was doing 20 in a dose and it was. just like everybody out of the pool.
>> I'm also not convinced diarrhea is bad. for you. I swear to God. Like not. [ __ ] for sure, but diarrhea is just. like let's speed this up. >> Well, isn't that what um is that. consumption? What is the disease where. you can't stop having diarrhea? >> Dysentery. >> Dysentery. That's it. >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] All right. Well, if you can't stop. having it, sure. But like. >> Well, that's like you can't digest food. It just goes right through you and just. [ __ ] constantly. >> Now you [ __ ] starve. >> Yeah, >> that sucks actually. >> Yeah, not good. >> Once a week though. That's fine. >> You know what I used to do? I used to.
drink kale smoothies in the morning. That was the first thing that I would. do. I would throw kale and garlic and. like apples and [ __ ] in a blender and. that's what I would drink first thing in. the morning. >> Yeah. >> And boy, that is just like that clears. the pathway. That's like uh like you. know when you uh clear your rain gutters. of leaves. [laughter]. You get a hose on that [ __ ] and just. [ __ ] blow him off the top. That's. what it's like. >> Yeah, I've done the green drink before. It does get you I I was vegan for like a. month and that was like the biggest.
dumps. But I actually got hemorrhoids. from being vegan. >> Oh, because on the toilet. >> It was just that the turds were so big. I was getting like blown out. >> I got hemorrhoids from being vegan. >> Was it taking too long to poop or you. just like it was just spectacular? >> Massive, bro. Yeah, it [laughter] was. spectacular. There were massive bull. winders every It was like twice a day. I. was [laughter] like I was like an adult. entertainer, dude. I was like my body. just gave out. Adult entertainer. [laughter]. >> Well, when you think about it, it's all. that fiber that your body doesn't.
process. But they say that that's what's. good for keeping you clean. You know, fiber pushes everything out. >> I'm I'm back on the fiber train now. I. was all about protein. Now I'm like, "Yeah, I need I need my fiber now." But. it's it's hard to know who's right. because the carnivore people are like, "You don't need fiber. There's no need. for fiber." But then there's like. there's evidence that fiber is good for. you. >> Yeah. Isn't that what your whole. microbiome needs to like make the germs. or whatever that are good for your. brain? I don't know. I I I get confused. as well. But.
>> my balance is I eat a lot of kimchi. I. really like kimchi. >> That's a move. >> I eat that stuff all the time. Kimchi. and I eat sauerkraut. That stuff's. legit. >> Yeah. I know that stuff's supposed to be. good for you, but yeah. I I tried the. carnivore and it was like I first five. days I felt cool and then like after I. think I made it to 17 days I was like. dude if I had just ate some vegetables. with this I'd be the healthiest guy in. the world. >> cuz it was just like I stopped pooping. like I was like this can't be good for. me. >> Well you don't poop much because there's. no fiber. So when you do poop it's just.
>> yeah I [laughter] remember I remember. this whole rabbit pellets and you're. like where's the rest? But I mean isn't. that a good thing? doesn't mean your. body absorbed all of the food instead of. like having all this undigestible stuff. go through your digestive tract. This is. the argument that the carnivore people I. don't want anybody that's a nutritionist. right now pulling their hair out. [laughter]. >> disinformation. I'm just asking. >> It's a good it's a solid question cuz. it's like yeah does food does meat get.
stuck in your body and you need plants. to push it out of your butt or will meat. come out of your butt just like plants. will? Well, that was the thing that they. would always say that every man when he. dies has a pound of undigested meat in. his stomach. Apparently, that's not. true. >> Yeah, that was the old thing about John. Wayne. Like John Wayne had 50 pounds of. beef jerky in his butthole. I I like. thought about that since I was a little. boy. [laughter] I've been wondering like. how much are they going to find in me? [snorts]. >> Yeah, that that's true. >> So, it's not the case. >> No, John Wayne just had a gut from. probably beer. >> Yeah. >> You know, beer and pasta and bread. >> True. >> And you know, normal American food.
Also, he was I mean, when was what was. his heyday? Like 50s60s or 60s, I guess. 60s7s maybe. >> When did he do that Genghaskhan movie? That's what killed him? What year was that? >> 50s, I think. >> Yeah, cuz it's like those dudes weren't. on like. >> True Grit those days. Yeah, >> dude. They weren't being like, "Oh, how. much fiber have I had today?". >> No. No. >> Yeah. They were That was even in like. the 90s. You The dude didn't think about. what they're eating. >> 56. >> 56. Wow. This is one of the worst movies.
of all time. You ever see it? >> No. This Gangask Khan movie. >> How did it kill him? >> Oh, he filmed it in the same area where. Nevada was doing their nuclear tests. >> Oh, >> everybody got cancer. >> Damn. >> Like the whole crew, like a giant number. of people got cancer. >> Yeah. And that I'm telling you that was. back when guys would be like nuclear. bomb. I don't care about like they. didn't care. Like I used to work with. guys that do asbestous back in like the. 90s when I was little. Me like my dad, my uncle's all construction. And so we. were like taking this barn down and I. was like a little boy just like. hammering nails into an A-frame and uh.
they shut it down cuz there was a. speestous in there and there's this guy. who was like, "Dude, your uncle's a. [ __ ] I'd eat that [ __ ] for breakfast. I don't care about asbestos." And it's. like. >> I don't know. Like now I grew up I'm. like damn, thank god they shut that. down. But. >> Well, there was so many things that. caused cancer that no one knew about at. the time. Yeah. >> Like how about baby powder? >> Yeah, dude. I didn't know about that. either. Well, the thing is what I think. what the story is is that where they. mine the talc that the talc is not. always pure and the talc has other stuff.
mixed in it and they don't filter that. stuff out. Is it asbestous that it's. mixed with? >> I thought that stuff was cornstarch. >> I'm not into perplexity, please. [laughter]. >> I thought it was cornstarch. >> What is that? Baby powder? No. >> So, it's talc, I believe. evidence of. small but real cancer risk with some. talc based baby powders mainly due to. genital use and possible asbestous. contamination. Yeah, that's it. But the. data are mixed and the absolute risk for. any one person is low. Talc uh itself as. a mineral can be mined near as best. So.
contamination is the main worry. Asbess. is a known cause of messoththeloma. methyloma and other cancers. Yeah, quite. a few women. I think there was a. lawsuit. >> I remember hearing that. I remember I. was dismayed cuz that was like I had a. weird thing when I was younger. I used. to use baby powder to masturbate. >> Yo, >> cuz it just like makes everything feel. so it was kind of nice. And the smell if. I smell baby powder to [laughter] this. day, it's like a trigger for Yeah. If I. smell it, I'm like, "God damn, bro. Get. that [ __ ] away from me.".
>> Well, I used to use it a lot to play. pool. >> Oh yeah. >> Yeah. Everybody use baby powder. You use. baby powder on your fingers. It makes. the shaft slide through your fingers. But then they invented gloves. >> and so that keeps the table clean. Yeah, >> this is like they're I guess they're I. don't know what they're made out of. It's like a nylon like a very thin nylon. and slick. So. >> yeah, but baby powder, no bueno. What. else? >> They're saying LED lights now. >> That's what I keep hearing. >> LED. They're saying like it kills your. mitochondri.
[laughter]. >> I think they like crush your. mitochondria. >> Oh jeez. I don't know if I just get. scared by AI clips on Instagram. >> I'm scared of everything. I have to. [ __ ] stay offline. I I the I'm. reading too much of the news and it's. it's overwhelming me. Like sometimes at. night time like I can't wind down. >> Yeah. >> This is like there's too much news. Too. much [ __ ] madness. We're about to go. to war with Iran. Like we're the. everyone's eating beef jerky and pizza.
Like what are these file? What the [ __ ]. is pizza? [laughter]. >> You know who how far does this go? How. come this never got released before? Like what is happening? I mean, my thing. is like I'm not First of all, the news. for me is like, aside from all like the. disastrous wars, it's just so like. negative. When you read the news is. mostly people being like, "Guess who's a. giant piece of [ __ ] right? >> You read that over and over and you get. like addicted to being like, yeah, that. guy sucks. I'm good.". >> Well, there was an article that I read. recently about people being addicted to. outrage. >> and then it's a real thing. >> Oh, for sure. >> Being addicted to being upset about.
stuff and addicted to outrage. You go. search for it, which is why your. algorithm shows you all that [ __ ]. >> Yeah. No, I mean they I I don't know if. this is true, but I feel like they watch. your facial uh expression through your. phone camera and feed you stuff if. you're making like interested or. outraged or whatever. >> I wouldn't be shocked. >> I've heard they like track your eyeball. movement and they're like, "Okay, this. is holding his eyes." And they just keep. feeding you. I I've heard that. >> Probably put a piece of tape over that. [ __ ]. >> I know. I know. >> You know, I wonder if you did how much. would change. >> That would be an interesting experiment.
>> Well, they got you mic too, so they got. your audio. >> That's true. But yeah, the new dude that. that Yeah, all that Epstein [ __ ] is like. I can't follow it. It's too much. There's too many names. I don't know. state representative. They're like. naming all these people. It's like damn, I wish I knew who that was. >> And it's dark, [clears throat] too. It's. horrible. >> And it goes so high. There's so many. levels to it. >> You know, Sager and Yetti was just on. flagrant and they were reading off files. and talking about the It's just like. what the [ __ ] man. Yeah. It's you need. to study all day to like follow it.
Prince Andrew is crazy. Him getting. arrested. He's the f who what other. prince has gotten? It must have been. like not since 500 years ago. >> Yeah. When was the last time a prince. was arrested? >> I have no idea. And also he's if he goes. to jail, if he goes to real jail, he's. getting clapped. >> Yeah. >> He's a known, you know, it's very very. likely he was a pedophile. If pedophiles. go to jail, >> well, what do they know that they're. putting him in jail first or they're. arresting him first? Like, what do they. know? Because they did a bunch of. things, right? The first thing they do. is they they stripped him of his.
princehood, right? Exactly. >> And then they banished him to some. estate somewhere on the country and then. they removed him from the estate. They. kicked him out of the estate. >> Yeah. >> So it's been like levels upon levels. >> So what do they know? I think the royal. family gets to see the real deal. So. they probably saw the real deal and were. like, "Bro, you're fried. You're going. to jail." And he he'll he might be the. first he might get like clapped in jail. >> Jesus. >> Someone might get royal. >> royal [ __ ]. >> Yeah. He might get royal [ __ ] bussy. in jail. You think they'll Don't you.
think they have him in Do they have. protective? He'll be He'll be in. protective custody for sure. Leave that. over there. >> They'll probably make a jail for him. I. would imagine they do. I think anything. we have here, I would imagine they have. protective custody. >> cuz if you're even if people even think. you're a pedophile in jail, they're. going to. >> Do you think that starts like a whole. cascade and then a bunch of other people. start getting arrested? >> No, I think they're going to hang him up. and be like, "We got him.". >> Oo. >> I I don't believe that all these. billionaires are going to let themselves. get arrested. They have billions of. dollars. Paris prosecutors opened two.
new Epstein linked investigations. Uh. oh. To with who? [clears throat]. >> There was I think it's the Jean Luke. guy. >> A co-conspirator. >> Uh he was also died at it. He died in. custody in. >> Wow. Godamn. Not again. >> So they reopened investigation on that. And somebody else I think that they just. found out that was high up in uh. I lost it here. >> How did he die in jail? I don't I. officially. >> Yeah.
>> Um. there you go. >> Doesn't he was found dead? [snorts]. >> Okay. So, >> just found dead. >> Oh, he died. How old was he? >> Um. at the time. >> Yeah. [clears throat] And also the uh. >> 76. >> Oh, that's that's about the time dudes. like that die. >> Yeah. Um, but they didn't never there's. a probe and I think they they've. reopened the probe also. >> of how he died.
>> Mhm. >> Yeah. >> That's going to be a tough one to solve. >> Yeah. You're going to have hit some. roadblocks. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody. whacked him. We were just talking about. the guy that Epste was in jail with, which is crazy. Like if Epstein is. alive, some people think he's alive. Some people think they they scooted him. out of his cell, switched a body double, killed that guy. But if he Why would. they put him in jail with that gigantic. cop who was a contract killer? That. [ __ ] guy. That's one picture. Show me.
the picture of the tank top picture. That's the one. >> Whoa. >> Bro, look at the size of that guy. >> Big. >> And this guy was a he was a cop who was. a dirty cop who was killing drug. dealers. >> Yeah. I mean, maybe that was the plan. Be like, "All right, we'll put him in. here. It'll sound good if this guy kills. him." Like, "Oh, man." And then 18 days. before he died, he complained that his. cellmate tried to kill him. >> What? >> Yeah. See if we can find out. >> The mur the the different guy. No, Epstein did. >> No, I'm saying Was he complaining about. the murderous cop or is this a different. guy?
>> That's crazy, dude. >> That's crazy. [laughter]. >> Also, how did he try to kill him and not. kill him? >> That's what I was just going to say. [laughter]. >> What the [ __ ] are you talking about? Epstepped away and just like sat in the. corner. I mean, maybe he screamed loud. enough and the guards came. The night. Jeffrey Epste claimed his cellmate tried. to kill him. >> So, he laid in a fetal position on the. floor of his jail cell, unresponsive. with an orange fabric. Oh, this is when. they found him. Uh, 18 days before. Epstein's death. He wasn't breathing. His eyes were opening. Oh, so this was. when they found him. Oh, they So, they.
did find they found him in the fetal. position. Oh, no. This with the Orange. Havoc news. That's when they found him. dead. Okay. 18 days before EP. No. Okay. So, it is saying that. >> So, it's saying that he had an orange. noose tied around his neck 18 days. before he died. >> What? >> What? What the [ __ ]. >> What? So, July 23rd, 2019, 18 days. before Epstein's death. He wasn't. breathing, his eyes opening and shutting.
occasionally, but he wouldn't or. couldn't respond to officer's questions. and commands. According to a. confidential corrections officer's memo. obtained by CBS News, they hoisted. inmate 76318054. onto a stretcher. Officials have. repeatedly said Epstein's death eventual. death by suicide was foreshadowed by. this earlier alleged attempt. Former Attorney General Bill Bar. reiterated that claim in an August. closed door deposition before the House. Oversight Committee, which released the.
interview transcript last week. Bar, who. did not reply to questions from CBS. News, said in his testimony he knew. about the July 23rd incident, which he. viewed as an attempted suicide. Bar said. he and considered it indicative of. Epstein's state of mind, but jail staff. memos, other neverbefored. documents obtained by CBS News as well. as interviews with more than a dozen. people who interacted with Epstein. before and after the incident reveal a. murkier picture than the one depicted by.
Bar. The new documents have surfaced. amid persistent speculation over. Epstein's death despite official. conclusions that he died by suicide. So. he's laying on the floor and his bunky. is screaming, "I did nothing. I banged. on my door to get him out of my cell.". The source said corruptions officers. carried Epstein to his cell on a. different floor as he remained. unresponsive. "Is it was it the same the. same cop? The the contract killer cop?". Yep. Right. He told him he thought he'd. been attacked by his cellmate, an ex-. cop who was awaiting trial on four.
murders. >> But they're saying that was an attempted. suicide. >> Well, they tried to frame it as an. attempted suicide. No, I would imagine. he doesn't have a way to contact the. outside world and just tweet about this. Yeah, >> right. He can't make an Instagram video. Hey guys, this guy's trying to [ __ ]. kill me. >> True. [laughter]. >> He sat up on the bed and began telling. me that he thinks his bunky tried to. kill him. A responding officer wrote in. one memo. A senior officer wrote in a. separate incident report that Epstein. initially implicated his cellmate in the. incident, claiming he had previously.
said things that made Epstein feel. threatened. So Nicholas Tartagleon, his cellmate, has re repeatedly disputed. the initial allegation. I did nothing. and said he tried to rev I tried to. revive him. As with Epstein's eventual. death, any camera footage of the. incident was either mislaid, lost, or. never captured by the facility's faculty. faulty system, rather. Tartagleon.
has not responded to emailed questions. from CBS News. How odd. His lawyer said. Epstein's initial claim that Tartagleion. tried to kill him was flatly not true. >> Well, >> okay. So maybe he did try to I mean you. know there's a chance he did try to kill. himself and was like [ __ ] I don't want. to get. >> and then his guy saved him. He said he. saved him. So it says it right here. Scroll back up a little bit. Tartag Leon. said in a recent interview the house and. that Epstein also left a suicide note. and it even offered Tartagleon money to.
kill him. What? Neither of those details. if true are referenced in any of the. bureau prison records that were reviewed. by CBS News. So, if you scroll up. higher, it says he he said he saved his. life the first time. So, it's saying. that he saved his life. He yelled when. the guy his attorney says that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Like he's saying he tried to. kill himself once. >> Yeah. But that's just his attorney. saying that. >> Yeah. For sure. You know, Epstein. claimed to both corrections officers and.
the source that he felt threatened by t. by Tartagleon. uh hulking retired cop turned drug. dealer who was charged and later. convicted for four murders. Just how could you take the most. high-profile defendant ever and put him. in a cage with a murderer? >> Check that part. [clears throat] Um, his. bunky told him that if he beat him up. because of Ebstein's child sex. trafficking charges, the officers would. not report it. Oh, that's what he told him. The wealthy.
allegedly the wealthy former financeier. told jail officers that he believed. Tartagleó was trying to extort money. from him and stated that if he didn't. pay him that he was going to beat him. up. The officer wrote he stated that. this has been going on for a week. And. then that guy saying Epstein was trying. to pay me to kill him [snorts] for. himself. >> You would have think they could find a. middle ground, man. >> Well, someone's lying. >> I know. [laughter]. >> That's the craziest. There's too many. plot holes. There's no way. >> Imagine like who's saying I'll pay you. to kill me.
>> Yeah. Also, it's like, wait, how are we. going to do that? How are we going to. work this all out? >> Yeah. The guy's already Well, that would. And then what's he going to do with the. money? >> Exactly. >> How's he going to get the money? >> I guess you can give it if you know. somebody you know you love, you can give. it to them, but. >> Right. Does he have money or does all of. his money go to the victim's families? Like he killed four people. >> [ __ ] man. You might be right. >> Yeah. >> So, it would have to be like an offshore. account that like gets slipped over to. the prison so he could buy cigarettes. >> If anyone can do it, if [laughter]. anyone can do it, it's Jeffrey Epste, man. >> But it would have to be worked out in. advance. Like he would have to have the.
cigarettes in the commissary. All right. Okay. Time to kill you. >> Dude, it's it's too uh you know, I think. it's just one of those things. I don't. know if people can, you know, want to. wrap their heads around it, but there's. just people who do things in this world. on behalf of like, you know, uber. billionaires that we're just never going. to know what's going on. >> For sure. >> There they do horrible, terrible secret. stuff. And they always have. >> Yeah. >> This is the thing. If like you go. throughout history, there's always been. secret societies and people that get. together with creepy meetings. All that. eyes wide shut [ __ ] that Cubert put in.
his film. That's not He's not imagining. that. >> No, that's always been a thing. The. officer that discovered his body dead in. August was originally charged with. falsifying documents related to his. death, but those charges were dropped. >> H I wonder what the falsifying of the. documents was. >> I don't know. I don't know. Who knows? Maybe people charged it to try to open. up the paperwork or whatever. >> Here it is. Because Epstein was on. suicide watch after the July 23rd. incident, Thomas was required to lo to.
record a log of observations about. Epstein in 15minute increments. Those. notations were released by the Bureau of. Prisons in 2023 along with just one. entry he made in the log, a note made at. 2:15 a.m. 45 minutes after the incident. 15 minutes later at 2:30, Thomas wrote, "Inmate sitting on bed trying to. remember what happened.". Huh? Yeah, man. >> So, this is the when he got attacked the. first time that he survived,
>> huh? >> Yeah. They claim he once he got into the. separate cell, he was uh trying to fall. forward on his head or something. Sat on. the edge of the bed and began moving. forward as if he was attempting to fall. over head first. >> Huh. >> He was told to stop. Don't do it again. And he gave a thumbs up. >> That's how they confirm he was trying to. commit suicide. >> So, he's going to try to commit suicide. by falling straight on his head from. >> That's impossible. That's literally. impossible. in your face. >> You might be able to pull it off. >> That's crazy. [laughter]. >> You would block for sure, >> right? >> There's no way you can just do a sail. I.
was like thinking about this the other. day. I was walking off my steps. I was. like, even if I tried, I couldn't do. like a swan dive on the cement. You. would your body wouldn't let you do it. >> Yeah. You would resist resist just. enough to be paralyzed for the rest of. your life. >> You would get [ __ ] up for sure. I. don't know. I think you would just kind. of flatten out and flail. Yeah, because. guys die all the time in street fights. when they get knocked out and then they. fall and they hit their head on the. concrete. Dude, they die all the time. >> It happened uh before I left Philly a. year or so ago, there's a guy just. walking his dog off leash and this guy. was like, "Put your dog on leash.". >> They got into work, you know, they.
started arguing and a [snorts] guy. punched him and he hit his head and. died. And then my brother went on an. online date with the fiance of the guy. who died and like learned throughout the. date like, "Oh [ __ ] you're the lady.". He was married. >> Bummer of a date. >> It was pretty [ __ ] sad actually. Oh, [laughter]. >> he like put it together and he's like, "Oh, [ __ ] He died. That sucks.". >> How long after that was the date? >> I think it was maybe a year and a half. It's It been some time, you know, >> enough to stop the crying. >> Yeah. I mean, you got to pick it up at. one point. Especially if he died like. that, man. Got punched on a dog walk and.
died. >> I don't know. If I was. >> walk with a helmet and [laughter]. >> if I was a lady, I'd be like, "Oh, [ __ ]. I dodged a bullet.". >> Oh, husband could have just died. >> Yeah. That's scary, though, man. And. that's yeah the the whole thing of like. altercations and people popping off to. each other anymore is just like I was. walking down the street recently and. like you know I had the right away I. walked and I didn't even like rush in. front of the car. The car pulled up and. was like get the [ __ ] out like. threatened to shoot me in the face. I. was just like what the hell man.
>> Yeah. It was like he had pulled off far. enough and he's like I'll shoot you in. your [ __ ] face. And I was just like. please don't like you know what the [ __ ]. man what are you doing. >> bro? You never know who's unhinged. >> I know. You never know what's going on. in that life. The divorce, [ __ ] this, that, just got fired, about to go to. jail. Who knows? >> Yeah. >> Who knows, >> dude? Yeah. That's. >> best friend was [ __ ] your wife. >> Could be literally anything. >> Yeah. It's like I I never It's like. Yeah. Whatever, man. >> So many people are barely hanging on out. there, doing something all day they.
hate. >> Yeah. >> Just [ __ ] tired. Life's in a. shambles, dude. I I don't And especially. like people just talk [ __ ] to strangers. was like, "You have no idea who that. person is." My I don't know if you know, who knows if this is like just like an. old construction worker tale. But my dad. was telling me some guy he knows his mom. or whatever or like you know his. friend's mom was at the grocery store. Someone back they like both going for a. parking spot. It was like an old lady. and the guy was like [ __ ] [ __ ] get. the hell out blah blah blah started. cursing her out. Her son came out of. jail for like you know like he was like.
a biker all this stuff and they all like. knew each other in the neighborhood. Apparently the guy who had like cursed. out the mom they were like nobody ever. saw him again. So, if that's true, it's. like gee, I always think about that. I'm. like, dude, that's, you know, you just. can't be, you shouldn't yell at an old. lady anyway, but you just have no idea. who you're dealing with, >> right? >> Just might as well chill. That was one. of the creep creepier things about the. Epstein emails or the the files, the. data was that he ordered 330 gallons of. sulfuric acid after he'd been indicted.
>> What does that do? >> Dissolves bodies. >> Oh, no. >> Yeah. Uh. >> so so they were trying to speculate that. like maybe that was for his desalination. system that he had. He had like a water. system that you some sulfuric acid. cleans it out. But then Jamie looked. into it. He had only ordered it like. once before ever, but never that much. >> Yeah, that's terri. Also, he lives in. near the oceans. Like why would you just. go in the ocean? Just.
>> you got to get rid of bodies. You live. on an island. Just go out the water. >> Yeah, but they could find it. Yeah, I. guess so. >> Yeah, they might find it. >> Yeah, >> you can't have that. >> True. Especially if enough that we need. a bunch of acid. >> Do they have a lot of sharks down there? >> I would think. >> Yeah, like the Bahamas, right? It's like. Bahamas area. >> Yeah, I I would think so. There's like. sharks in Florida. I was just in. >> Florida. Florida's a lot of sharks, especially bull sharks. >> Yeah, exactly. I I was swimming. I. brought my friend with me to do shows. and he was like, I'm worried about. sharks. There's no [ __ ] sharks out. here. And we got back and the Uber. driver was like, "Yeah, this is like.
shark season right now." I was like, "Oh, [ __ ] My bad. Shark season. >> Yeah, they I think it's the bull sharks. They see them all the time down there. >> Bull sharks are scary. >> They're the ones that they think are. responsible for the murders in New. Jersey that inspired Jaws. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> How big how big do they get? >> They don't get as big as like great. whites, but the thing about them is they. could swim in fresh water. >> So those murders that uh murders those. deaths by shark uh in New Jersey in like. the early 1900s, >> they were in a river.
>> What? Yeah. >> So, these people were swimming in a. river and they got killed by sharks. >> Yeah. You would never expect it either. >> Bull sharks are like very aggressive, too. >> Oh, are they really. >> super aggressive? They um there's the. Florida Keys like guys fish off the. peers down there. >> and uh it's really great fishing, but if. you catch a big fish and you're. struggling to get it on the line, most. likely a shark's going to kill it. >> Really? >> Yeah. Most likely you're going to get it. bitten in half. There's like tons of. videos of guys pulling in fish and the. shark just snaps it in half while.
they're pulling it in. >> That's terrifying, man. >> They're all over the place down there, dude. >> Dude, I went to Turks and Kos, my me and. my family went down there. My kids, we. were we went snorkeling and you know, the guy takes us out and he's like, "Hey, we like, you know, got in the area. where we're going to jump in." He's. like, "Hey, there's some baby sharks out. there. Um, you know, but they're not. going to bother you." So, I'm like, "What the fuck?". >> Exactly. And I have like I've had. [ __ ] like two and a four-year-old. with me. So, I jump in. in. I'm like, "Let me sus it out. I'm going to go. see." Dude, I go down and like these. were like, you know, they weren't like.
18t sharks, but they were like five, six, they were like big enough, but they. were 40 like it was like probably 40t. deep and then they were like at the. bottom, but then another 50 ft away. And. I was like, "Bro, I'm not bringing my. kids in here." Yeah. I'm trying to find. this video that my friend Adam sent me. of uh sharks in Florida cuz I always. give him [ __ ] He lives in Australia and. I always give him [ __ ] like, "Bro, you. live in a place filled with monsters. What the [ __ ] are you doing?" Like, [snorts] because it's true. Florida's. Florida has a lot, but.
>> Australia has more. Australia has. saltwater crocodiles. They have great. whites. >> But he sent me this video. He's like, "This isn't America, mate." [laughter]. >> And it's uh these guys are throwing God, I can't find it. These guys are throwing. um fish into the water, right? No, I'm. not going to find it. They they're. throwing fish into the water right next. to the shore and. >> it's just sharks like piranhas just. smashing and they're like off off a. dock, >> dude. >> They're just like throwing fish scraps.
in there and the fish the sharks are. apparently used to it, I guess. >> That's terrifying. >> Yeah, >> dude. I. >> Oh, here it is. I found it. >> Nice. >> Here, hold on. I'll send it to you, Jamie. >> Dude, dolphins. Do you ever see a. dolphin in real life? >> Yes. >> They're scary as hell. Those things are. huge. >> I swam with them. >> I did it, too. I was in Mexico and I. thought I was going to be like, you. know, gliding on two of them. I was like. barely wanting to touch this thing. >> I did it in Hawaii. You jump off the. boat and you snorkel and you get to see. them swimming under. It's really wild. Check this out. So this guy throws these.
scraps in the water. Look at these. sharks. >> God damn. >> Look at these things. >> How crazy is that? >> Look at these things fight for this. [laughter]. >> Look how many of them there are. Yeah. That's. >> Bro, that's crazy. That Look how big. they are. Yeah, more than big enough to. take your legs off. >> All right, go ahead, dick wagon. Throw. it in. >> Go ahead, dick wagon. [laughter]. Why? >> I'd be so mad if I was his neighbor. I'd. be like, "Dude, I'm trying to paddle. board, man.". >> Well, I think this is just what they do.
every day, which is why the sharks are. there in the first place. >> I think when these guys get there, you. know, when they fillet the fish, they. have the bodies, they just tuck the body. overboard, and these sharks just destroy. it. >> Yeah. >> How spooky is that? >> It's terrifying, dude. >> Yeah, that's Florida. >> That's That's crazy. Where's Marco. Island? >> Uh, I don't know. Where is that? Where's. Marco Island? >> It's probably the key somewhere. That's. [ __ ] That's awful. >> Florida's filled with monsters. Like. that whole thing that they're doing with. ice where they've got that alligator. Guantanamo,
>> you know? They got a they got their they. built a Guantanamo for detainees and. then they surrounded it with alligator. country. >> Like a cartoon moat. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> It's going [laughter] crazy. >> Check this out. Okay. So, where is it? >> It's like opposite of Miami on the. >> Oh, okay. >> Okay. So it's not it's not the Keys. It's just Florida. >> Crazy. >> Damn. So they have like a classical moat. with alligators around it. >> Well, it's not essentially a moat. >> Was it island? I guess. >> How did How did they do it? They build. an island down there. Is that what they. did? >> Somebody got a sweet contract to put.
that in there. >> They're calling it alligator. >> Yeah, they call it alligator Alcatraz. >> Um, what does it look like? Can you show. us? >> Damn, dude. Alligators in Florida are. everywhere. They say there's not a like. standing body of water that doesn't have. an alligator. >> I know. My friends were just at Disney. World and they said they got a they're. like, "Is there alligators around here?". Like, "Yeah, we flush them out all the. time.". >> One killed a kid a few years back. >> I heard about that. Just reached up and. just snagged it. >> Bro, imagine your little toddler at. Disneyland just saw Cinderella having a. good time.
>> That's got to be fast. That's fast pass. for life though for the family. >> So, that is all the Everglades and the. Everglades is just filled like if you go. walking like I'm out of here. >> [ __ ] that. Like something's probably. going to get you. >> No, >> the Everglades are so [ __ ] because. it's not just the alligators. It's also. the pythons. There's giant pythons, dude. [laughter]. AI so ruthless. >> That's [ __ ] alligators with ice hats. on. >> Dude, the pythons are another cuz you.
they catch you while you're sleeping. So. you lay down to sleep and you just wake. up and you're just. >> Are there more pythons in the Everglades. than there are anywhere in the world? >> No way. Cuz there's a half a million of. them, they think. >> What? Do you ever hear about Snake. Island in Brazil? >> No, >> dude. There's an island in Brazil that I. guess like whatever, you know, tectonic. plates or whatever moved and it used to. be connected to the mainland. It went. out and all the snakes just got stuck on. there with no natural predators. >> They just eat each other. >> Yeah, they just fight and eat each. other. And there's Dude, there's. apparently a snake like every meter you.
move, there's at least one snake. >> What? >> I Dude, the images are [ __ ] are terrify. They're like just piled on top of each. other. There are not more pythons in the. Everglades than anywhere else. The. Burmese python's native range in. Southeast Asia from India to Indonesia. supports far larger wild populations, though exact numbers are hard to. quantify due to their vast habitat. Everglades context: Burmese pythons are. invasive species. Florida Everglades. with estimates ranging from tens of. thousands to 300 thousands individuals.
uh across southern Florida concentrate. in Evergrades National Park where their. density is notably high. population. exploded from a few snakes in the 90s to. enveloping much of the region by the. 2020s driven by the release from pet. trade and events like Hurricane Andrew. Yeah, they had Hurricane Andrew. apparently blew down a facility where. they were studying pythons. >> No. And that's how they got out. >> A bunch of them got out. And then. there's also people with pets, just. [ __ ] and death metal bands. >> Yeah, they just dropped them. >> Yeah, they just dropped them. >> Well, that's how we we There's um what.
we call it? Parakeetses here. They're. like they're like an invasive species. and they think that happened too. Someone just like let their parakeets. out and now they're a problem here. >> That's iguanas in Florida, too. >> You know, they sell canned iguana meat. in Florida now. >> Really? >> Yeah. A buddy of mine lives in Florida. He just sent me this. >> He sent me uh he was at the supermarket. and they have uh iguana meat. [laughter]. >> Probably not that. >> Dude, I'm telling you, the uh Snake. Island, I I was like I thought it was. fake. My wife was telling me about it. I'm like, "Dude, you got tricked. This.
is has to be AI." I looked it up and. it's like it's a real thing. Let me see. that iguana meat. Yeah, I'm saying it. >> I would It would probably be good. I've. eaten Gator before. Gator is not bad. This might be fake. >> I think it is. There's a God damn it. >> I'm googling it. There's a a pizza. restaurant that got in trouble for. serving it. >> really. >> But nothing else is popping up about. candy. >> They got in trouble for serving it. Did. they tell people they were serving it? >> You know, cuz people eat them. >> They hunt them and eat them all the. time. I was watching a YouTube video the. other day where this guy was making like. stir-fried iguana meat. >> Well, they get massive. They get.
massive. >> Yeah. Yeah. And they apparently taste. good. probably. They're aggressive, too. If you see them in the wild, they'll. like charge after you. >> They're nasty, man. >> They're big. >> Yeah, they're pretty like four or five. feet long. >> They're Yeah, they're huge. >> Nuts. >> That was another animal I encountered in. Turks and Caos. We did the shark. swimming and I was like, "All right, I. let them like get out of the way." And. then we went to this island that was. just full of iguanas and they'll they'll. just run up on you. Do you know in. Florida when it gets really cold, they. just fall out of trees? >> No. >> Hilarious. [laughter]. >> Cuz sometimes Florida it'll dip. It'll. get into the 30s and these [ __ ] just.
fall out of the trees like stoned. >> They just freeze and just. >> freeze and then they thaw out and come. back to life. >> What? >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] That's an ancient species. Like. these are ancient creatures. >> Damn. So they I thought they I thought. they need the like they're cold blooded. and they die so they can just I guess. they can just chill and. >> Well, so are alligators and alligators. freeze in lakes sometimes with their. mouths above the water. >> They have their nose and their eyes. above the water and they just they're. frozen. There's a bunch of images of. these guys.
>> That's awesome. >> Frozen in lakes. >> I guess everything just slows down and. they just chill. >> They don't have to eat for a year. >> What? >> Yeah. They can go without eating for a. whole year. >> So, how much do you think we really have. to eat if alligators if bears don't have. to eat all winter? Alligators can go one. year. Like, do you think we're I always. think like do we have to eat every day? >> Well, we definitely eat more than any. people have ever have except like. royals. Yeah. >> You know, that's why people were so. tiny. Like you go back to like the Civil. War, the average man was like 130. pounds. >> Yeah, that makes sense. >> Yeah. Because nobody had any food,
>> you know, nobody had any protein. >> Yeah. >> But if you think about like how much we. eat morning, noon, and then evening, >> hunter gatherers, they they got a meal a. day. Yeah. >> You know, like if you got lucky, you had. a meal and you ate as much as you could. because there's no way to preserve it. And then you went out the next day and. hoped you got another animal. >> Yeah. That's kind of wild. You must have. spent like 6,000 calories a day just. trying to get one meal. >> Yeah. And then other than like drying. your meat out, there's no way to.
preserve it. So they would make jerky. or, >> you know, like uh I know in uh Mexico, some friends of mine went down there and. they have this traditional way of taking. buffalo and they slice it like really. really thin and then they hang it on. like a clothes hanger and dry it out. >> Really? >> That's all we need to do. >> Well, that's what they had to do. They. had to figure out how to dry stuff cuz, you know, there's no ref, man. How. [ __ ] hard life must have been with no. refrigeration. >> Dude, it would suck so bad. >> Suck so bad, man. I mean, that's like.
when you go back to the turn of the. century, all the diseases were happening. in America. Just think about it. No. running water. Everybody's like [ __ ]. in holes in the ground outside the. houses. There's no ventilation. There's. no air conditioning. >> Oh, yeah. >> No vitamins. >> Especially here. How many do people live. in Texas? Hard people. >> I've been reading It must been crazy. >> Hard people. >> Yeah. >> Hard [ __ ] people. >> I've been reading West I'm reading Lone. Lonesome Dove right now. It's like an. old classic western and they just talk.
about how hot they are all day long. It's just dust in their face and it's. like, dude, that [ __ ] would suck. Especially if you don't live near a. lake, so you can cool off a little bit. >> Yeah. Oh, no. There's like Yeah. They. have like a spring house and every time. they go to get water, there's just. rattlesnakes everywhere near the spring. house. It's like, dude, that sucks so. bad. There's a great book about Texas. called um Empire of the Summer Moon. >> Oh, I've heard of that before. >> About the settlers encountering the. Comanche. >> You got to think like if the Comanche if. this is where they lived and they lived.
here year round, like they had to be the. hardest [ __ ] people in the world. >> Yeah, dude. That would be brutal. >> Just had to be [ __ ] just tough as. [ __ ] Especially when it gets like. freezing, too. They have like that two. weeks where it's super cold and Yeah, that would be you never know when it's. coming back then either. You couldn't. prepare like Texas. Like right now it's. 80. Two weeks ago it was 30. >> Before that it was 20. Before that it. was 70. Like it's you don't know when. it's coming. >> No. You have I like I've been here for. two years and I know we're going to get. like a solid collective week of real.
winter. >> and the rest of it's just like 50 60 70. 80 20 40. It's kind of like. >> it's worth it. I think it's perfect. because it gives you just enough cold so. you appreciate the warm. Just enough but. nothing like where you want to kill. yourself. >> Yeah, I agree. nothing like there's, you. know, Montana winters and Wyoming. winters where they last like seven. months. You're like, I don't know if I. want to do this. >> Even regular East Coast winter, I. couldn't handle it. By the time I had. left, like you don't feel the sun for. like at least 3 months. And I remember. spring it would finally like come out.
and it's like that messes me up. Like I. need I'd rather it be super hot and. sunny than be cold. Yeah. >> Cuz you can just like, you know, >> just figure jump in a lake, jump in a. pool. You can. >> You know, that's what flu season's all. about too. >> What? It's not like the flu emerges in. the winter. It's just everybody's immune. system's low. No one has any vitamin D. A buddy of mine who was a doctor said. that he would do tests on people in New. York City and he said so many people. would come into his practice that had. undetectable levels of vitamin D. >> What? >> Yeah. Because they weren't supplementing.
at all and they were wearing winter. clothes and they were never outside and. everybody's sick and they don't know. why. Well, you're vitamin D depleted. >> Yeah. That's why in Seattle they have a. lot of people go in tanning beds and. [ __ ] They try to like do something to. >> Oh, just to get people. >> because tanning beds will give you a. natural dose of vitamin D. >> That's kind of nice. >> Yeah. >> Apparently it's Isn't it like a hormone. more than a vitamin? >> So yeah, that's what I heard. It's like. not even just like you know vitamin A or. B. It's like something you absolutely. need big time. >> Yeah. A lot of people are saying you.
should hyperdose it too. Like because. the USDA recommended is like 5,000. milligrams. A lot of people are saying. like 30,000 is what they take every day. >> Yeah, I I had to do that for a while. because I had low vitamin D and they. were like, "You can take as much of this. as you want." I I'm like so I'm like. such a baby with medicine. Like I'm like. super sensitive to it. It did like. absolutely no side effects at all. >> No, it doesn't give you side effects, but for full absorption, I think you're. supposed to take it with a bunch of. other stuff. Like I think the. recommended is I take it with K2,
vitamin K2, and magnesium. I think there. might be one other thing that also helps. absorption, but uh like Dr. Rhonda. Patrick was on a podcast recently and. she was talking about how vitamin D, someone was taking vitamin D, but they. weren't showing any improvement. She's. like, "Were you taking it with. magnesium?". >> So magnesium apparently helps vitamin D. get absorbed in your like there's a. bunch of those things that like works. like if you if you take them without any. fat or any food, they're not good. >> But then like amino acids, you have to.
take them on an empty stomach. It's like. you got to know what you're doing. >> That's true. Yeah. I have like a paste. It's like a goop that's like fatty and I. just put it on a spoon and take. >> What is it? Just vitamin D fatty. >> It's vitamin D. It's like a lipos somal. thing. >> Oh, you put it on a spoon. >> Yeah. See, I just eyeball it. I'm like, that's probably about right. >> I wonder if like liposomaal absorbs. easier. >> Isn't that the whole idea about it? >> It's paired to a fat and it kind of, you. know, >> right? I wonder if that you don't need. as much like or you don't need vitamin D. or uh K2 rather. >> Well, I I don't know. But I was low and.
then I'm not now. So, I'm like, maybe it. worked. Maybe it was a fact I was. outside. I don't know. >> I'm sure it works. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's just like, does it work. optimally? That's the thing. >> Yeah. >> It's like just taking it alone is. definitely going to be better than not. taking it at all. But they think that. for maximum absorption, what what are. the things that you should take with. vitamin D for put that in perpetually? The the things you take with vitamin D. for maximum absorption. >> It's hard to remember all this stuff, too. That's part of the problem. Like.
I'll hear it on a podcast. I'm like, "Yeah, yeah." [laughter]. Go back home. What the [ __ ] did the [ __ ]. did Andrew Huberman say? [laughter]. >> Yeah. I I remember I heard um Heberman. had this thing about cortisol and he's. like, "You need to spike your cortisol. early in the morning, which I you know, if I get up and exercise in the morning, like, yeah, that's seems true because I. feel good." But then I was [snorts]. like, I I can't have caffeine anymore. I. had to get off completely. >> Really, >> dude? I have I I can't have it. I'm like. super sensitive to it. If I had a cup of. coffee, what time is it right now? If I.
had a cup of coffee now at 2:00, I would. not sleep till midnight. >> Is that [clears throat] because you. don't drink much of it or I don't. metabolize it? >> Oh, that's my mom. My dad can drink. coffee and fall asleep. If my mom has. coffee, she's it just it like you have. it and I can feel it just in my body for. hours and I it's just like a non-stop c. like I love caffeine. The mental effects. my body just can't stand it. >> Have you ever tried um neutropics like. theine? >> I've done it all. >> Acetylcholine. But not acetyloline, but. I've taken alenine with it, which helped.
a little bit, but then I'll just drink. more coffee cuz. >> No, I don't mean with coffee. [clears throat] I mean by itself as like. a little bit of a pickme up. >> Oh yeah. No, I I like uh Yeah, I take I. take althanium before I go to sleep. I. think it kind of helps me sleep. >> Yeah, I hear that too, which is. interesting because it helps with your. memory. Like how does it help with your. memory and also help you go to sleep? >> I don't know. >> Here it says vitamin D is a fat soluble. nutrient so pairing it with dietary fat. maximizes its absorption in the gut. Take vitamin D supplements with a meal. containing fats for optimal uptake. Studies show you can boost serum levels.
by about 50%. Foods like fatty fish, avocados, olive oil, nut, seeds, or full. fat yogurt provide these fats. effectively. Supportive nutrients. Magnesium aids in converting vitamin D. to its active form and transporting it. in the body. Vitamin K2 works. synergistically to direct calcium to. bones, enhancing benefits for bone. health. Omega-3 fatty acids from fish. oil also improve absorption alongside. fats. All right, so that's it. So, vitamin D should take with magnesium and. K2 and probably some fish oil.
>> Nice. >> There you go. >> That was eating it after breakfast. So, there we go. Was getting my fats. >> Yeah. >> But yeah, the caffeine for me, I can't. like, you know, everyone's different, but I I can't have it. Like, I. >> I could drink two double espressos and. go to sleep. >> That's crazy. So, here's my thing, too. I stopped because I didn't start really. drinking caffeine all the time until I. had kids. But I I like I don't have. dreams at night. If I drink even coffee. during like the day, no dreams at night. >> really. >> If I don't know what it is, man. I'm. super super sensitive to it. >> Well, a lot of people that stop smoking.
weed say that they get wild crazy. dreams. >> That happens too. That kind of blocks. your dreams, too. >> Yeah. >> But even that, like I don't know. I I. smoked weed forever and like I would. still kind of have dreams, but it's the. caffeine just like completely. neutralizes them. And then they say that. it's like anecdotal, but they say that. um caffeine, there's anecdotal evidence. that it kind of uh what is it? It like. discourages or you know, whatever it. does to your brain, you don't do as much. divergent thinking. It's more like. convergent where like if you need to get. like a task like all right, I need to. edit something. Caffeine's great. If.
you're like, I need to come up with a. story idea. >> There's like anecdotal evidence that. says like people who are on caffeine. report that it like messes up their. ability to like. >> just kind of like, you know, come up. with like new or novel ideas. >> That makes sense. Yeah. >> Because you're just hyperfocused on the. one thing that you're doing, like a lowd. dose meth. >> Yeah, pretty much. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Like my friends that have dated. girls that have had problems with. amphetamines, one of the things they say. is they know when they're on it because. then they start cleaning the house. They. start cleaning everything.
>> Yeah. >> They start getting like hyperfocused on. like organizing and cleaning. >> Like that sounds like a good drug. >> Yeah. What's What's the back? It's. [laughter] probably a spaz though. That's probably the backlash. Well, it's. probably they're doing it for 12 hours. while they're listening to Slayer. >> Yeah. [ __ ] [laughter] dude. [ __ ]. You're not even talking about Adderall. This is them doing like crystal meth or. something. >> I don't know. You saying amphetamines? >> I I assume it's like meth. >> Yeah. Empetamine babe would be not. ideal. I don't think. >> Well, I've talked to people that have. done meth and they they say you feel.
like you're [ __ ] Superman, but you. also like want to get things done. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> That's I've heard that similar thing. about crack where you feel like a. genius. You smoke crack. Apparently, you're just like, "Dude, like why would. I have a refrigerator? I can sell it. right now and I can just order out to. and like apparently you're just like the. smartest person in your head in the. world, >> right?". >> And then you just like it all crashes. every 30 minutes. >> It's It's like freebased cocaine is what. all it is. >> Yeah. >> Like what Richard Prior was doing back. in the day, that was just before crack. >> Yeah. >> It was freebasing cocaine.
>> Yeah. And it's weird, too, because I. think it just like coke I think just. floods your brain. A lot of things just. flood your brain with dopamine. >> Yeah. But the delivery method apparently. of crack is superior. Like there's. something about smoking it where it just. goes right to your head. Well, I know. this from Hunter Biden [laughter] cuz. Hunter Biden was he was on that Channel. 5 show when he was talking about it. It's [ __ ] he was so descriptive of. it. It almost made you want to try. crack. He it was almost like it was like. a romantic tale of like a bad romance. that he had to get out of. [laughter].
This is a very genuinely way to say it's. a superior delivery mechanism. >> Well, he's very smart, right? So he's. very articulate and he's talking about. like what it was like to smoke crack. >> and it's like holy [ __ ] man. >> And I I wonder I guess I guess he's off. of it cuz I guess like you know yeah if. you started again it's probably just. another. >> Well there was that baggie they found at. the White House but. first of all might have been his but. also you think he's the only one of. those people doing coke. >> Yeah I was about to say that could be.
anybody. Listen, there's probably a lot. of those folks that need a little pickme. up sometimes before a meeting, before. >> they have to do a press thing or Oh, dude. You're working 16 hours a day, a. little tired. >> Woo! >> Big time. >> Let's go. >> I used to work at a real estate company. when I was in college just like, you. know, they would like buy apartment. buildings and dude, all the like the. senior management were like, they used. to buy aderall off me. >> They would just chomp [ __ ] aderall. come in and just be like they would do. sales meetings and just be like. >> a friend of mine who's a journalist says. that all these journalists are on.
aderall. >> Yeah, I believe it. >> says it makes you productive. >> They're all doing it. >> Some of them are like super open about. it. Like Dave Portoy when he was in here. he was telling us what did he say he. took 30 milligrams? I. >> think [snorts] I don't remember but yeah. >> it was enough that I was like yo and. then I had to go to Jamie. How much is. that? And Jamie was like a lot. >> 30 is Yeah. 30 is uh that would get you. >> but not a lot if you do it a lot right? >> Yeah. You get a Yeah, >> that's the thing. It's like if you're. doing edibles with Joey Diaz, like how. much should I take? Take two, [ __ ] Like what? Take two. How.
much do you take? [laughter]. >> Yeah, that would definitely mean I feel. like I can't get a tolerance to eat. edibles. They just knock me out every. time. >> Jamie can just eat them and they don't. do anything for them. >> That's crazy. I know people like that, too. They're like, "Well, I need like. 200 milligrams to feel it." I'm like, I'm psychotic. At 200 milligrams, I'm. fried. >> It's a lot. >> Yeah, 200 is a lot. I used to have these. lollipops that were 200 milligrams. So, I would try to gauge it like I don't. want to eat too much of it and it would. just I would get [ __ ] whacked all the. time. >> So, we were we went over how many people.
are on aderall once like the number of. Adderall prescriptions in a year. It was. something bonkers. It was like 39. million Aderall prescriptions in this. country. But then you have to go like. how many people is that? Right? Cuz like. you refill your prescriptions. So, how. often do you refill it? How many times a. year? You know what I mean? >> I think it's more than 39. If that's the. case, I feel like there's 39 million. subscribers to Adall. >> Well, there's definitely people that are. getting it other ways. For sure.
>> For sure. >> Yeah. You get your script and you sell. it. But it's like, >> so there are not just [clears throat]. that. You're getting it illegally. You. know, you're getting illegal good and. bad. You're, you know, getting cartel. stuff. >> like pressed and stuff. >> Yeah. Like they they can make a volume. that looks just like a Valium and. there's [ __ ] fentanyl in it. >> Yeah. True. No, that's that's a that. like the pill world is they're like. completely riddled with that right now. >> Oh, it's scary, man. Cuz kids are taking. these like there was a kid from a local. high school around here that I read a.
story that he took an Adderall. He. thought it was an Adderall and it had. fentinyl in it. He died. He got it from. one of his friends. He was just trying. to cram for studies. >> Yeah. That's that's why I always tell. people, anyone I know who does Coke, I'm. always like, "You got to stop, man.". They're like, "No, we'll test it." It's. like, "No, you're not. You're going to. be at a bar. You're going to be. hammered. You're going to buy Coke and. shove it up your nose. >> I stop and be like, "Let me see.". >> I've never done it, but all my friends. who have done it have all said the same. thing. Don't do it. >> It's. >> I've never I've never done it either. I.
had no I've never had any interest, but. it's like I every time I'm around people. on it, I'm just like, "Dude, this. sucks.". >> Yeah. >> Maybe they're having fun, but it's like. >> they want to sell you Bitcoin. [laughter]. >> They want to go into business now. >> Everybody does. >> They get like super hyped about a. project they want to bring in. Well, that's what I think. I I guess that's. the way it was explained to me. You just. feel like you've accomplished something. major. So, you just like snore Coke and. you're like, I am the best ever. It's. like why? I don't know. I just [gasps]. Yeah. Joey Diaz used to say that you. can't go on stage with that.
>> Yeah, I can see that. >> It's the worst. He goes, "You have no. feeling. You don't feel for the crowd.". >> Yeah. That's how I feel about I can't. drink and go on stage cuz I'll just I. I'm way too confident. If something. doesn't land, I'm like, "Fucking. whatever, pussy." Like I just don't I. don't care and I just do so bad. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's it's a weird fine dance. that people do with substances and. performing especially if you're doing. like a speed or something because you. can get it wrong. >> I would imagine. >> Yeah. You can get your balance wrong.
>> I've heard aderall does not mix with. comedy at all. That's what I've heard. >> I've heard people like it. You're just. It's like a weird part of your brain. where you're just too lasered in. >> I've heard people like to use it for. writing though, which I think is weird. I guess. Yeah. I don't know. >> I know they use it for writing books. >> I don't know if it would be the same for. writing comedy. >> because, you know, you're talking about. like coming up with ideas. [clears throat] like you'd imagine that. would be the coffee thing on steroids. >> Yeah. Right. >> I don't I for me for writing like I like. to write. I like I write books. I like. to do other stuff.
>> Writing standup is more like it has to. just pop into my head. Then I go like, "Oh, that would be funny." And then I. you know, if I start fleshing it out, like new ideas come. I've tried to like. write standup and it never it like very. rarely do I get anything that like works. when I do that. >> Yeah, me too. But what I do is I write. essays. >> I just like essays on a subject and then. from that I'll extract little things. >> That's a good idea. >> And then I take that little thing and I. say how do I introduce this thing and. what is what would be funny about this. thing and how would I lead into this and. what are the other like surrounding.
things that would go with this? >> No, that's that's a good way to do it. I. have to I have to trick myself into. being like I'm memorizing my material so. I just bullet point it and then I get. bored and my mind wanders. I'm like that. would actually be pretty funny, >> right? And then you start rambling. Yeah, that's the thing about the essay. that if you just sit down and write a. sub, you know, about a subject, whatever. that subject is, >> that you just start thinking about all. the different aspects of that sub. instead of thinking how to write in. comedy form. >> Yeah. you know. >> No, that that's a that's a smart idea.
because yeah, if I try to write it then. like you try to repeat it but you wrote. it down so then it sounds like a written. thing and it's like. >> but even that in the essay way it's a. brutal process because then you have to. take that one sentence or that one. paragraph in a thousand words and then. figure out a way to introduce that where. it's not clunky. >> Yeah. >> And then figure out what's the funniest. part about it. And it's like you have to. always know that the first time you. bring it out there it's going to suck. >> Yeah. And you have to just slowly but. surely trust it to get better and just.
throw it into the fire every night. >> You know, you have your bits that you. know are going to kill and you're like, I don't want to trot that one out here. I know. >> that is the I kind of is the funnest. part though to me. Like when I moved. here, I had just uh I think Yeah, I. think I had just put out an hour or like. recorded so I had no I had to like start. with like new material, which sucks. You. move somewhere, you have new stuff and. you're like, dude, I have only new [ __ ]. It's a bad feeling, but it's like it's. exciting because you're like you don't. know how it's going to go every night. I.
don't know. I like I like that. I think. it's good. I think it's like we were. talking the other day uh about loss, about failure. Like I was talking with. Michael Malice about bombing on stage. I. think bombing is good cuz what happens. if you bomb that feeling you feel. terrible the next day, you feel terrible. that night, and then you're like, I got. to [ __ ] get back on stage and really. like tighten up my [ __ ] And I always. have in the past made big leaps after I. bombed. >> I'm like, I think it's important. Like.
failure is important. It sucks. You. don't like it, but you got to go through. that. Like maybe you got overconfident. or maybe you were in a bad mood or maybe. it was like whatever. >> Yeah. No, it helps. That that's what. like motivates me to write standup. If I. bomb, I'm like, "All right, now let me. let me like dial it in because I have. like I'm always doing a bunch of stuff. and like I'm like, "Oh, I got a show.". And I like, you know, organize kind of. against the gun. But yeah, a good a bomb. really is like a clarifying. It's good. for you, honestly. >> Yes, it is. Have a bomb.
>> Well, I used to say that to fighters, too. You lose a fight, it's good. Long. as you get really hurt, it's good. because you like that feeling. Go home. with that feeling and think about all. the stones that you left unturned, all. the times where you skip road work, all. the times you skip strength and. conditioning, all the times you're. halfassing it in the gym. That guy. didn't do that. He just beat you. Now, you know, [clears throat]. >> you know, you know, like you have to. understand that there's levels to these. There's levels to dedication. There's. levels to. >> competency and you know, a good loss is.
good for you. >> Yeah. It kind of like, you know, again, if you have your tried and true and. you're just going on stage, oh, it's. working night after night, you just go. home, you're like, whatever. But yeah, when you bomb it, like for me, it does. something in my brain where like my. thoughts start flying that, you know, whatever that is just helps me get stuff. out there. Well, when I lived in Boston, one of the things that was a real. problem was there were these there was. these local headliners that had these. [ __ ] acts, man. They had 45 minutes. of like hammered samurai sword. It was.
so good cuz they had been doing that 45. minutes for a decade and a half. >> Crazy, dude. >> It was so good. Their timing was so. good. The the the pacing was so good. They would crush every night. But after. a while, they never added anything new. to it. And these guys just like a buddy. of mine went to see a Boston headliner. that we knew from like Fitz Simmons went. to see a Boston headliner that we knew. from the 80s. And he goes, "Dude, he was. doing the same material." He goes, "It.
was so sad." He goes, "It was just. phoning it in. It was barely getting a. response from the audience. There was. like dated references cuz this guy just. had an act and he like a [ __ ] guy who. shows up at the office. He would. >> open up his suitcase, >> pull his act out. [laughter]. That was his act. Those guys are always. fascinating because when you're like, you know, I started in Philly and like. so like the only the first like paid. gigs you get as an open micer are like. you do like moose lodges and [ __ ] for. like 50 bucks and it's always one of. those like wacko headliners.
>> who's been around for 30 years. >> He's doing it forever. He's giving you. the career talk in between the show. There's like I would get like comedy. magicians all the time. >> Oh yeah. >> And dude, it was like Yeah. Those those. guys would always kind of freak me out. Like I would open for guys that would. talk about like floppy discs in like the. 2000s and I'm back. [laughter]. What are you doing, man? Like you don't. have CDs anymore. Like you. >> This guy talked about porn on a floppy. disc on stage. Dude, it was [ __ ]. Screech. RIP. It was Screech. >> Screech. >> RIP. I opened for Screech back in the.
day and I was like, "Fuck yes. This is. going to be awesome." He was he was. killing it in the comedy clubs. He was. like one of the first people to go from. being on a sitcom to touring on the. road. >> Yeah, I caught I caught Late Screech. though. >> Skippy. >> Remember Skippy from Family M? Was it. Family Matters? Is that was his What was. it from? What was the show? >> Skippy. >> He was another guy who was uh he was on. a sitcom. >> Was he on not Step by Step? >> I don't remember. But he remember same. thing. He was became he like Hollywood.
didn't work out for him and. >> family ties. >> Family ties. >> family ties with Michael J. Fox. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. So that guy was headlining comedy. clubs all over the place. >> This was like a bar in Delaware. This. was not a glamorous gig. >> It was bad. This was. >> I was I what I I graduated college in. 2009. It would have been like 2012. maybe. >> So this was like late. This was like. late screech. And the whole time he's on. stage, people go Screech and he would. just it [ __ ] made him so mad.
[laughter]. But I remember it was a funny show cuz I. it was supposed to be a lady was. supposed to host I was going to feature. It's going to be Screech as a headliner. And the guy who owned the venue just bad. like wanted to [ __ ] this lady so bad. that he was like, "Hey, I'm letting that. lady feature. You're going to host." And. he was like, "I'll pay you the same. price." And I was like, "Yeah, whatever. I don't give a shit." So he paid me and. I had been, you know, I've been doing. stand up for a couple years, so I was. like kind of sharp, you know, especially. for like that bar show. And this lady, I. I didn't he she had never done standup.
before. This was her first time. [laughter] This guy [ __ ] her over. He. thought he was doing something nice for. her. She sat there for all the 20. minutes and read out of a giant notebook. and just [ __ ] b like completely in. horrific like a first time standup doing. 20 minutes completely bombed. And I. remember Screech was in the back with me. and he's like, "The [ __ ] is this?" I. remember he he was like bragging being. like, "Dude, they gave me eight grand. I. don't give a [ __ ] about this show.". >> I knew a few guys who their girlfriend. started doing comedy and then the. girlfriend started opening for them and.
it was just wild. >> For her sake, you can't do that. That's. so such a bad idea. >> It's so crazy. And these guys were like. competent headliners. So the people were. coming to see them. They're excited. Hey, we're going to go we're going to go. laugh. Have a good time. Nope. >> No. You're going to get tortured for 20. minutes before you get to laugh. >> Also, that's not going to help him. either. She's going to be furious. Like, it's I don't know why people do that. You can't. >> Well, they want to do it. Like, help me. Help me. That's one thing that happens a. lot with comedy couples. Like, one of. the couples will help the other one. write.
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That Okay. Writing is one thing, but like. >> And it's why they want to do it. It's. like they want to hook up with a. headliner, whether it's a guy or a girl. Yeah. Yeah, >> you hook up with a headliner, he or she. helps you with your act, >> and then you go back and you know, >> it's also impossible though cuz if. you're dating a comic and then you book. your own opener, you can't be like, "Ah, next time I got you next time." You. know, you have to flat out be like, "No, I'm not you're not doing this.". >> Right. And then you break up. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But for if you really care about their. comedy, you like, "Bro, you got to you.
got to go to the open mics and you. know.". >> Yeah. Doing it in front of a soldout. show when you're just starting out is a. crazy idea. It's I couldn't imagine. I. literally couldn't imagine. It would It. would have messed me up. >> Well, that's why Kill Tony is so nuts. Yeah. >> Like there are people there are people. who have gone on for their first time. ever in Madison Square Garden to a. soldout arena of 16,000 people. >> And then it's filmed for what, like a. mill couple million people. It's like. >> millions of people. You're out there.
eating dick. >> That must feel crazy waking up the next. morning. >> Yeah. Just like if you go to sleep. Yeah. >> Let's imagine that you can go to sleep. If I flub a word, I don't go to sleep. [laughter]. >> They can go to sleep after that. >> Yeah. You're essentially filming a one. minute special the first time. >> The first time you do. >> on Netflix. >> God [laughter] damn. >> Or on YouTube. I mean, both of them are. getting [ __ ] millions of views. >> I know. Dude, I I I. be so scared to do that. The people who.
can do that, I'm like, that's amazing. >> Go out there and crazy. >> True. [laughter] True. That's actually true. Some of the people. when you're you're interviewing them. after they do the set like I go, "Has. this guy been screened? Do we need to. make sure he doesn't have a [ __ ]. knife on them?". >> They do need that airport [ __ ] thing. >> Yeah. Oh, 100%. Some of these people are. out of their [ __ ] mind. >> I always wanted to hang in the bar where. like the holding tank where everyone is. cuz that's got to be the craziest vibe. in there. >> Well, you remember open mic nights?
>> Yeah, true. open mic night at the comedy. store in particular was always so nuts. Yeah, >> it was just a complete lunatic asylum. >> For realist, dude, >> there's this [laughter] one guy, Robert. William Apparaya, and he would come. there everywhere. He was a really nice. guy and all of his act was about. marijuana and he at one point in time. was a lawyer and then uh I guess blew a. fuse. >> and then just was doing comedy, but he. would walk from downtown. He lived in a. flop house in downtown and it would take.
him hours. He would walk from downtown. to the comedy store and when it rained. out, the way he would deal with the rain. is he would take plastic grocery bags. and tuck them inside of all of his. clothing. So he'd wrap them around his. body. So he had his clothing on the. outside and these plastic bags all over. his body. [laughter] That's so [ __ ]. funny. The clothes are on the outside. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, he let his clothes get. wet, but his body would be dry. >> Well, he couldn't figure out how to put. it all outside of him. So, his solution.
was just cover his skin and keep him. from getting wet and cold, which I guess. would work. It'd probably keep you. sweaty, too. >> Yeah. You'd sweat. Yeah. >> Yeah. So, he was like a staple. And he. would go there every night late at night. and he would be like one of the last. guys up at open mic night every week. >> Whoa. >> Yeah. And just was insane. Like, you. couldn't you couldn't shake your hand, >> couldn't touch him. He was always. nervous that everybody hated him. And so. he'd like be scared and I became friends. with him so he was cool with me. I' I'd. talk to him but like one time I tried to.
give him knuckles. I'm like I sorry I. forgot. >> He just wouldn't. >> Yeah. >> He would like like mumble and look at. the ground like sorry. >> Yeah. >> He was legitimately cooked whatever. whatever was going on. >> Ah [ __ ]. >> Yeah. But he was a lawyer. >> and he just blew a fuse. >> Jesus Christ. >> It happens. >> Yeah it does. No, there's you forget. like well at least I did because I you. know doing the open mics it's like it is. like a complete freak factory. >> A freak but you're like steeped in that. so much for years and then I remember.
like when I finally stopped going to. open mics all the time. I was still in. Philly and I like just took a break from. the open mics. I would go do shows and I. was like let me go to the open mic. It. had been like six months and I was like. I'll go to one try stuff out. I like got. in, you know, I'm sitting behind the. area. I was in like Philly Helium just. sitting there at the open mic and. [snorts] I just got like right away guys. like dude look at him [ __ ] s and it. was just like all these people like oh. this was like the worst environment you. can possibly be in. >> It was just so everyone was like this. guy's a [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] I hate. this guy. And everyone's so [ __ ].
angry and just everyone's so charged on. adrenaline all the time. They're also. like on the outside of this thing that. they want to do this dream and they get. to try it like a regular person with no. training, no schooling, no nothing. You. get to stand on that stage with a. microphone. I went down a rabbit hole. the other night. >> and I was watching open mic nights from. Long Island. >> Oh [ __ ] dude. [laughter]. >> It was so crazy. >> That would be fun though. It's so crazy.
watching someone that definitely. shouldn't be doing comedy that's trying. comedy for the first time. >> and I was, you know, it was one of those. dumb things. It was like midnight like, well, let me see. >> And they have them. >> There's all kinds of basically you find. anything. Yeah. Online. And I I started. watching you. I can only watch for so. long and then I get anxiety and then I. have to shut it off. Well, that was like. when you do open mics and you finally do. like a showcase and you invite your. friends or your family to watch and. they're just like, "What the [ __ ] are.
you doing? Who are these people?" You're. like, "They're my friends." [laughter]. >> I brought some of my friends the first. time I ever went on stage. >> I didn't want to do it by myself. >> I was the opposite. I didn't want anyone. to see me for a long time. [sighs and gasps]. >> Yeah. >> And I did a show one time because I have. a big family. So, I did a show and. there's this place at Raven Lounge in. Philly. It was like awesome. Like when. we started tiny little blackbox thing in. the top of a bar. It fit maybe like 25. people and I have a big family. So I. finally was like, "All right, I'm gonna. invite my family out." Dude, I remember. I was on stage and I knew like 17 out of.
the 25 people and I was like, "Dude, [ __ ] kill me right now. [laughter]. This sucks.". >> And they're staring at you like this. >> It was just all my aunt in the front. just like looking at me and I was like, "No.". >> Watching you choke, [laughter] watching. you bomb. Oh. >> for them. They were the audience. I'm. like, "Fuck.". >> [gasps]. >> It's but that's you [snorts] know the. only way it's like I I know some people. that have taken comedy classes and then. that has kind of got them into standup. >> Yeah. That's.
>> this is a function of comedy classes and. that function is like it gets you to try. it. I don't think anybody maybe there's. a few out people out there that are like. legit comics that are teaching them but. for the most part not how so we had a. comedy class at helium there and the. thing was if you won the if you took the. comedy class it get let you in the. comedy classes contest then you can. compete with the other people in the. class and if you won that you got the. hosting gig at Helium. >> and it was it was a sweet deal but it. was so hard to get into Helium so I had.
done standup for a while I took time off. and when I got back into it I was like. [ __ ] it I'm taking that comedy class. I'm going to try to fasttrack myself. into host. So, I won the comedy class. contest and and then I got into Philly's. Funniest. When I won Philly's Funniest, I got, you know, they're like the improv. theater across the street was like, "We'll let you host a comedy class and. we'll give you like 35 bucks an hour.". Dude, I had like no healthcare. I had. nothing. I was like, "Absolutely, let's. do it." So, I I had a comedy class and. they showed up and I was like, "All. right, never take a comedy class ever. again." I [laughter] was like, "Don't.
ever do this ever again. This is so dumb. you guys did this, but we're just going. to run this as an open mic. And I was. like, "Get up there." And I had them all. go up and just do like five, you know, it just it was just an open mic. >> Well, that will work. >> Yeah, that's what I try to tell him. That's what I try to tell him. But I I. the one I was at was like real sketchy, man. It was very much like I'm about to. blow up. I'm taking you guys with me. This is how it's done. >> And you get out of it and you go, "This. [ __ ] bro. Like, I got deals in. development." Blah, blah, blah. It was. [ __ ] [ __ ] But. >> there's so many of those guys. I I got.
blacklisted from Helium because they. found out I had a comedy class, which. wasn't even a it was a fake comedy. class. I just wanted the money for it. And uh. >> Did you try to tell them? >> Yeah, I told the owner. I was like, "Bro, what are we doing?" He's like, "Love, man, just chill." And I was like. I was like I was like, "Can I do the. open mic still?" He's like, "You can do. the open mic." And the guy found out I. was on the open mic and they booted me. off that for like a month. >> Oh my god. >> He was out for blood. And I called him. like, "What the fuck?" Cuz I knew this. guy. I'm like, "What the [ __ ] are you. doing?" He's like, "Well, I didn't call. them." I'm like, "Okay, you know, it was. like this big thing." Well, there was. talk when they were the same people own. Cap City here now. There was talk that.
if you headline there, you couldn't do. my club for 3 months. >> It's crazy. >> And I was like, "Come on, guys. Why?". >> I go I I said to him, I'm like, "I'll if. you if one of my friends is at your. club, I'm like, "I'll tweet about it.". Like, I don't I I don't want this to be. competition. There's plenty of comedians. and there's plenty of audience members. for everybody. That's silly. >> Also, everyone's going to be fine. I. just Yeah, that that's such That's. insane. It's crazy. >> Yeah. I don't like that. >> A young guy coming up, you're banning. him from the club cuz he's hosting a. comedy class for money.
>> Yeah. It was It was kind It was. nonsense. Now, you know, now. >> comedy class is probably going to lead. more people to your club. Like, it's all. feeds off of itself. >> I know. And it was literally like Well, you know, maybe the word got out that I. was like, never take a comedy class ever. again. [laughter]. >> Why did Philly have a Did Peel have a. class? >> That was the class I took. I took a. class at Helium cuz I wanted to. fasttrack [laughter] myself to the host. Otherwise, you had to do Philly's. funniest and said it. >> Yeah. So, I was like, >> I completely gamed it and I was like, "Fuck it." Because these were like. people who've never done it before. I. done it for years. So, I just went and.
did the class so I could do the contest. >> Do you ever go back and think about. people that you knew in the early days. and you like I thought they were going. to make it. >> Yeah. There's a couple people that I was. like, "This guy's like a celebrity. Like, he's he's got it." And it's just. like I don't know what happened. They. just kind of like I guess I don't know. >> It's weird. >> It is weird. >> There's a few people that I started out. with. I'm like, "Damn, this dude's. talented." Like, "There's something. there." And. >> Oh, no. Yeah. I know. It's funny you. said that. I'm like, "I don't think so.". Then I'm like, "Oh, yeah. There was. definitely at least one, if not like two. or three that I they would come, they.
would do this, but they were This guy. was always on his own time. He would. like show up late, just walk on." Like. it was I think there's some people you. just can't keep into like a thing at. all, but their personalities are like. magnetic. >> Yeah. There's some people that for. whatever reason, they never figure out. how to make a living at it. >> Yeah. They never like and then they get. bored with it or they get frustrated or. something. >> I there was Yeah, I couldn't imagine. just the like the there was I'd see. people go who would like you know. everyone bombs when you're starting out. at open mics but there are people that.
bomb every time for like years and they. keep doing it and you're like bro how. are you how do you how are you. [laughter] doing this? I would have one. bad set. I'm like I'm going to kill. myself dude. I hate this. >> Some people just don't see it and that's. also they don't address it and that's. also where they don't get any better. Mhm. >> They don't have any self-awareness. >> Yeah, that could be it. >> And their perception of how people see. them is distorted. Yeah. You know, >> no, that's kind of scary actually. >> Yeah. You want to put blinders up. >> It's pretty cut and dry though when like.
people are silent in front of you. You're like, damn, I suck right now. This is I should change something. [laughter]. >> But in the beginning, it's just it's. such a weird you're you're basically. like running a marathon blindfolded. through trees. Dude, you have Well, I I. dude if like finally when I did like a. special I was like, oh, this is the. point of it. You have to come up with an. hour of standup. >> Yeah. >> Before I was just like, I need to have a. good five minutes for tonight. And I. would just go up and do it and be like, great. And I just go back home with like. no plan or anything. >> Well, that's a lot of guys who live in.
cities where you do short sets all the. time. >> Yeah, >> we were talking about that the other. night in the green room. Like some guys. who do a lot of like New York City. clubs, they have a really good 15. minutes, a [ __ ] crush for 15 minutes. But when they have to do an hour, then. things get weird because they can't keep. the same energy for an hour. It's not. You have to pace it. It has to be hills. and valleys. You have to kind of like. structure it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And then they also don't really have the. material because they're basically just. doing their best 15 minutes all the. time. >> Yeah. True. >> I I had the uh I wasn't even really.
doing standup. We me and Shane were. doing the podcast and I was like I'm. just going to do the podcast. I don't. even want to do standup anymore. And. then he it was pretty funny. behind my. back. Went to the manager at Helium was. like, "Dude, have Matt headline." And I. was like, "Fucking dick." And the guy. hit me up. So, I started doing that. So, I had been like not doing standup. >> for how long? >> For like months and months and like it. maybe a year off and I I had like, you. know, I went, you know, it was like I. would go and try stuff. So, then I. started doing when I first started. headlining, I would. >> do an hour, have off for like two.
months, do an hour somewhere else. It. was the most insane. It like really. started [ __ ] with me. >> Did you have recordings to listen to at. least? I would record the audio and I. would listen to it and then I would like. jot down notes and like it it was the. most insane way to get back into it. >> That was the thing that we experienced. after co there was [clears throat] a a. moment where I hadn't done standup in. like four or five months. Yeah. >> It was it felt so weird. And then. Houston had uh standup. They they had. clubs open and they like space people. out and put masks on them. I'm like this.
is so ridiculous. >> Yeah. And uh we were doing shows inside. and I only did one weekend and then I. got super paranoid. I'm like what if I. give it to someone and they die? Like. why am I being so selfish that I want to. do these shows? >> I like I got to stop. So. >> I had uh this old lady on the podcast. and my first thought was what if I have. it and I give it to her? >> Damn that would suck. >> I was so freaked out. >> Yeah. >> I didn't have I wasn't even remotely. sick. That was what was crazy. Like it.
was just a it was a boogeyman. >> for sure. >> It wasn't like I'm coughing, maybe I. shouldn't come into work. >> No, it was like I feel great, but what. if I have it? I don't know. >> They give it to this lady. >> Yeah, I dude I had my first kid right. like March 2020. >> So it just we got out of the hospital. and like a week later I was like holding. my face in a grocery store being like, "Fuck, what the hell?". >> Well, at least you could be with her. when she gave birth then. >> Yeah, that was cool. >> That was what was crazy. Yeah. People. were dying alone cuz you couldn't visit.
them while they were dying. >> I know. It was insane, dude. It was It. was like And luckily. >> when we went in for our second kid, that. was like it was still kind of in the. mix. I we were able to go in together, but like our nurse, you know, if we. didn't have like our mask on, she was. like, I don't whatever. I don't care. I. heard people were getting like just like. like two weeks after we had our kid, people were in there like, I got to stay. home. My wife's in there by herself, blah, blah, blah. And it was like it's a. disaster. But even navigating that was. crazy because it was like you know I'd. tell my wife like I want to go do this. She's like what if you bring it all to. all of us and it just I remember just at.
one point being like then we're all. gonna [ __ ] get it dude. I don't know. like we I you know I did the numbers. like I think this affects older people. or you know. >> what what time was this? >> Uh this would have been March. It would. like March 2020 and then like the next. six months. >> because I you know I would like go try. to do stuff. He's like if you go outside. we're all going to get sick. >> I was worried about it. I wasn't really. confident that people weren't going to. get really [ __ ] up by it until like a. few of my friends got it and got over. it. >> Yeah. >> And then [clears throat] my family got. it and I didn't get it. >> And I thought that was crazy cuz I tried.
to get it. Like I didn't. >> I didn't I hugged my kids. They were. laughing. You're going to get CO. I was. like I'm not going to get it. And part. of my head was like boy I hope I don't. get it. But. >> I never got it. I worked out and I. didn't feel so good and I said let me. just go through the paces today. And. then I worked out the next day. Same. thing. I'm like, I don't feel so good. I. feel like weak. So, I just let me do. like my kettle bell routine with like 35. pounds. Just easy. Don't push it. Just a. couple sets. >> And so, I did that two days in a row. And then the third day I went to the.
gym. I'm like, "How do I feel?" And I'm. like, "I feel [ __ ] good." Like, I. feel great. Like, nothing feels wrong at. all. And I had a full workout and I felt. fine. So, I'm like, "All right, I guess. I didn't get it." And I went and gotten. tested to see if I had antibodies, like. if I had recovered from it. Nope. Never. got in there. Yeah, I had sex with my. wife. She was coughing and [ __ ] So also. that's [laughter] such a [ __ ] beast. move, dude. She was like, "You're gonna. get it." Like, "Let's find out. Let's. [laughter] find out.". >> That is a beast move. I I I don't I'm. like terrible at math, but I remember.
looking up like, "How likely is it to. die from this?" And it was like 0.00001. something. I was like, "Fine, man.". >> I know. But they there was so much. propaganda. And it was like the thing. was we were in the middle of doing. podcasts and we tested everybody when. they show up make sure that nobody has. it. Tested all the employees, security. guys, everybody that works for me. Everybody got tested every day. We'd. show up be separated. Nurse would come. with a mask on, test everybody, and then. once we have the results, then we would.
allow the show to go on. Yeah. >> So I was like, I can't [ __ ] this up. because if I [ __ ] this up, I [ __ ] this. up for everybody. So I got to be. careful. >> Yeah. Yeah. And I just didn't want my. guests like the guests were flying in. They were taking a chance. A lot of them. were older, you know, like a lot of. professors, >> you know, they're flying in to do this. podcast and I had to make sure and and. then someone ratted us out. >> So the health department showed up at. the studio and they wanted us to have a. bag of masks like right when you walk.
in. So we had to put a bag of masks. right there. We had to put a hand. sanitizer thing right there and then a. sign that says like what you're supposed. to do, 6 foot distancing, all that [ __ ]. I was like, "All right, but they were. saying that we weren't socially. distancing. We saw him hug people. outside the front door. That's. completely dystopian, man. That's. crazy." Yeah. I I don't know why. You. know what it was? Cuz my parents were. just like cuz you know the first time we. all hung it outside, my both my parents. were like, "Bro, this sucks. We're just. come inside. We're not doing this." And.
that was like. >> Oh, my parents were terrified of me. My. parents didn't give a [ __ ] They were. like, >> "Yeah, my parents didn't want to hang. out with anybody until they got. vaccinated." Yeah. They were real. nervous about it. They're they're older, you know? It's like when you get older, you know, like that's why a lot of these. people like the the Neil Young's and. Howard Sterns and all those people that. really freaked out about it, they're. older people. Yeah. >> So to them, they're looking at they. might be that 1% that dies. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? Whereas like. you're young and healthy, you work out, you'll be you'll probably be fine. You'll be okay. Your wife's healthy,
you'll be fine. When you're an old. person and you you you smell death in. the air already. >> Yeah. >> Every day every day you wake up you're. like your [ __ ] back hurts. Oh Jesus. You can barely get out of bed. [ __ ]. your feet are swollen. Like it could get. you. >> Yeah. It's crazy. I'm surprised my my my. parents are like, you know, I think. they're like going to be 70 soon. They. were just kind of like. >> we don't give a [ __ ] man. >> Depends on where you grew up. I think. that's what it was, man. They were just. kind of like, you know, they're all just. like [ __ ] that. You know, it's [ __ ].
No matter what it was, they were it was. [ __ ] [ __ ]. >> Yeah. If you grow up hard, you're not. worried about a cough. >> Yeah. They weren't I I remember I. finally got it. I finally got it. And. Dude, it kind of like rocks me the first. day. I had talked so much [ __ ] and I got. it. I was like, "Bro, if I die, this is. going to suck so bad." It's like, but we. got it. Me and my wife got it two days. later. So then I had, you know, a little. kid. So I had to like we just switched. off. I kind of was like recovered. enough. So we were Our kid never got it. >> was around us. >> Kids can go right through it. My my um.
both of my kids got it and they just. burned through it. One of them had it. more, but she's like a little more. sensitive. She she was pretty sick for a. couple days. Not pretty, not like scary, but like she didn't feel good for a. couple days. The other one like barely. had it. It like went right through her. >> Yeah. Yeah. The one didn't get it all. The one like a runny nose. I was like in. bed for three straight days just like. >> hurting. >> Super fever, hurting. >> Were you taking any vitamins at the. time? >> No. At the time I wasn't living very. healthy. >> That's the thing. Yeah, I'm all over the. vitamins. And I was all over the.
vitamins then. And my wife back then, I. don't think not so much. >> Yeah. >> I don't think she did as much. So when I. was around everybody that got it, it. just never got to me. >> Yeah. No, I was got And I We had like, you know, relative newborn kind of. situation going on. And it was just. >> That's a hard one. Your immune system is. going to be crushed anyway because. you're getting zero sleep. >> Yeah. >> Everybody's like ready to fall asleep at. any given time watching TV. >> I've never [snorts] recovered. I'm still. ready to pass out. Like I can fall. asleep. I go home and I'm I'm fried. I. take naps. That was a big thing for.
coffee. Now I can take naps during the. day. I can't take naps when I drink. coffee. >> Oh, I never take naps. >> Oh, I love them, man. A little siesta. >> The only time I ever take a nap is if I. have to do something really early in the. morning. So, like if I do a set at night. and I'm not home until like 12:30 and. like maybe I have to get up at 6 or. something, >> I'll take a little nap. >> Yeah. Yeah, >> just because for me there's a balance of. like what is what's more important? Getting things done, working out, or not. getting into a deficit? And for me, it's. not getting into a deficit. Cuz when I.
like if I do a podcast and I'm sleepy, I. get so mad at myself. I'm like, what are. you doing? Like this is your one job. [laughter]. >> Be awake and talk to people. >> Sleepy like a toddler. Just. >> Oh, wow. That's cool. So, how long were. you in Indonesia for? [laughter]. >> It is embarrassing. You're like, "What. the fuck?". >> It's the worst. And then I'm just. drinking coffee and energy drinks and. taking nicotine pouches and just trying. to fire the brain up. >> Yeah. Then I when I do that, my face. just gets hot and I'm just anxious. It's.
like that's why especially for shows. like I try to travel like I leave like. on an early early flight, get where I'm. going and just take a big nap. >> and then I wake up and go do the show. >> One thing that I started doing when I. was on the road a lot was I would go in. on Thursday if I had a show on Friday. Yeah. >> So, I would get in Thursday night, >> sleep, >> and then instead of flying in the day of. the show cuz you're always a little. foggy. You're, you know, it's hard to. >> and back then I wasn't on the neutropics. as much. I wasn't like taking it with me.
on the road, you know, brain vitamins. and [ __ ] like Alpha Brain, >> but now I don't [ __ ] around. I don't. travel without that stuff. >> Yeah. No, you do need I I do the day of. I I can't help it. I just go early, nap. I did a show in Vegas last weekend that. like it didn't start till 1000 p.m. Vegas time. >> I got there I was It was brutal. I got. there, took a nap, woke up at like 900. p.m. Vegas time. It was just like uh I. felt like a bug. You know what my uh. trick for that is? The moment you land,
the moment you land, put your [ __ ] in. your hotel room, go straight to the gym. >> Yeah. >> No ifs or buts about it. You got to get. a workout in and got to sweat. Like. really sweat. just really get it going. >> Do do some push-ups, whatever the [ __ ]. you want to do, but just really sweat. >> and then it feels like it resets your. system. I can see that. That would wake. you up and kind of calm you down. Yeah, it it resets your system. Like whatever. the [ __ ] happens when you're on a plane, when you get off, you just like, >> dude, I feel like I've been microwaved.
I get off a plane. >> Well, you have been kind of. >> Yeah, pretty [laughter] much. I feel I. smell weird. >> It's like a X-ray. You're getting X-ray. >> Oh, [ __ ]. >> Try not to. The other day I was like, maybe it's like good for me somehow. I'm. up here and it's like [laughter]. it's just like constricting my blood. vessels and they like. >> turning into a superhero. >> Well, I I like was in Denver and I ran, you know, recently I was like running. and working out in Denver and I was like. probably altered now. I did like a. 30-minute workout. I'm like I'm probably. totally different now. Well, I lived. above Boulder for a while. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. And then uh I had a gig in Philly,
so uh I was living up there for a couple. of months. I was living at 8,500 feet. above sea level and I'd work out up. there. And then when I'd go down to. Boulder at 5,500, I had all this. endurance. I was like, "This is crazy.". >> Oh, in Denver. Yeah. From Boulder to. Denver, you're saying? >> No. From where I was, I was in the. mountains above Boulder. And so I'd go. down to Boulder. Got Boulder's like 55, 57, whatever it is. But I was at 85. >> Damn. >> Yeah. 8,500 feet above sea level. >> Yeah. That's a lot. >> So then I went I did a gig in Philly and. I went to the gym and I remember I.
called my friend. I'm like, "Dude, I. feel like I could run through a [ __ ]. wall. >> Damn, I want that so bad." That's what. why a lot of athletes train like they. they go to Big Bear in California. They. train up there. >> Damn. I kind of Yeah, I got I got to do. it for like just once and I was like, "Dude, this is awesome.". >> Yeah. If you can live at altitude and. train at altitude and then go down to. sea level, you feel like you have. superpower. >> [ __ ] that's awesome. >> So, a lot of endurance athletes, like. that's why they put the Olympic training. center in Colorado Springs. >> That makes sense. >> Yeah. Like training at altitude is a. legit hack.
>> Yeah. I didn't I didn't realize like cuz. I've always wondered like why is it so. hard? And it's literally just the air. thins and there's less oxygen. It's that. simple. >> And then your body has to adapt so you. get more red blood cells. That's why. they take EPO. That's what EPO does for. you. >> Oh, you don't have to go to altitude. >> Well, um I think a lot of them do both, you know? They just go as hard as they. push it to that like how much before I. get a stroke. >> True. [laughter]. >> I'm trying to win a gold medal. I'm. trying to win the tour to France. >> Dude, I just started I started sprinting. again. like.
>> sprinting. >> sprinting just all out total sprints and. just to like see where I was at because. I'm like you know I'm like if I feel. like if you just stop you could feel. that like you know age creep in a little. bit and there's a lot I think there's a. lot of mental stuff to be like ah you. know man it just [ __ ] goes but like. you know if you're not like testing it. you know how do you know you're just not. letting yourself go anyway? So I like I. was like doing it I haven't been running. like that in forever and dude like my. fingertips would be numb. I would do 100. I would [laughter] do I would do 100. meter sprints and I like can't feel my. hand.
Now I can. >> Now I can. I fixed it. And now I because. you like grow new veins and [ __ ]. [laughter]. >> I swear to God it's true. >> Are you a doctor? >> I don't know. I just I have grock, dude. We're all equal now. [laughter]. >> But dude, I remember like let me see. where I'm at. And I was like, >> "Bro, you really do. You use it or lose. it, man." And I can run now. I did it. this morning. I I can sprint now and. like I don't get numb. >> It's pretty awesome. >> How do you do it? Do you go to a track? >> I have a track. Yeah. A track near my. house and I just [ __ ] bolt early. Super early in the morning. You feel. amazing. >> Wow. >> All day.
>> And so you just pick a certain amount of. distance you're going to run. >> Yeah. I'll do like some day like today I. did like two 300s, two 200s and then. like we're supposed to do four 150s. I. got two and I was like I'm tapped. >> So you're done at like 15 20 minutes. >> You're you're done. You go there. I'm. I'm there at like 6:00 and I'm done in. 20 minutes and I'm I'm You feel like. it's like you were talking about you run. to a city and just get like an allout. workout. >> Yeah. you feel like like you're walking. on air for the rest of the day. >> That makes sense. There was a study. recently about explosive exercise and.
that that's one of the things that's. lacking in like older people as they get. older, they stop doing any kind of. explosive exercise like sprinting. >> Yeah. >> And how beneficial that is for. maintaining your health and your ability. to move around. >> Dude, I'm telling you, like I I that was. like such a drastic thing, but I was. like, damn, this my circulation is like. going like I can't [ __ ] run without. my hands feeling all like pins and. needley. That's so weird. >> And it just they came back. Now I can do. it. My fingers feel fine. >> You get in shape. >> Yeah. It's pretty nuts cuz that that was. the thing. Cardio was always like.
cardio's dumb. Who cares? And then. you're like I learned I think it just. like you secrete growth hormone and then. your veins and capillaries start like. you get literally you get like new and. wider veins. >> Make sense? >> It's pretty cool. >> Makes sense. I mean your heart is. [ __ ] pounding out of your chest. Yeah. >> You're hitting 180 beats per minute. It's like [ __ ] forcing all that [ __ ]. [laughter] through. just clearing it out like all right. let's what are we holding on to right. now. >> see like you never got fat or you never. got like really badly out of shape when. you see a guy like Jelly Roll like I.
have so much respect for that man. >> I have so much respect for that man that. dude lost 300 lb. >> dude how. >> he lost 300 pounds no ompic just stopped. eating sugar was no oicmp. he's he took testosterone replacement. that's That's [ __ ] sick. >> Sick. He started off. I was like, he's. got to be on those epic. >> He started off just walking, man. >> That's awesome. >> Just trying to walk when he came here. We last time we did a podcast, he ran I.
forget. I think he ran 6.2 miles the day. before. >> So they ran like they he was deer. hunting down in South Texas and he was. with my friend Cam Haynes and they went. on a run. They did 6.2 miles. They ran. and hills and [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> And then he came in here uh before the. podcast he ran 2.6. six on the. treadmill. So, I was working out and he. was over there running and talking and. laughing. Look how good he looks. >> Yeah. >> How crazy is that? >> [ __ ] nuts. >> It's amazing. It's amazing.
>> And we did the whole deal. We did the. sauna afterwards. It was awesome. >> How long How long did he lose it? Three. years. >> Three years. >> God damn. That's crazy. >> And he did it the right way. He did it. the hard way. Just working out and. eating right. No sugar, no [ __ ]. eating clean food. and just slowly let. his body drop. I. >> mean, he's got to feel and he's got to. feel awesome. >> Yeah, it's got to be amazing. >> Damn. How does he say that's doing like. career-wise if he has like a persona and. he's know like this, you know? I guess.
it's fant. >> He's got an amazing voice. >> Yeah. >> I mean, the the amazing voice is still. amazing. >> Yeah. Well, it your voice changes with. [clears throat] fluctuation with weight. a little bit. Yeah. I'm sure. >> How does it change? >> I don't know. I've heard like if you're. like an alto or something like that and. you're a certain you're at a certain. weight, it can change if you kind of cuz. this is your your diaphragm I guess in. your stomach. >> I know some dudes who lost a lot of. weight and they didn't like the way they. look when they were thin cuz their head. was too big. >> Yeah. >> Ain't that weird? Yeah. >> Like your head gets big when you get. heavier. >> Yeah. They Oh, it just grows. Yeah, it.
makes sense if it grows your [ __ ]. body. >> Significant weight loss can change a. person's voice, often making it sound. higher pitched, lighter, or clear due to. reduced fat accumulation around the. larynx, throat, and chest. These. physical changes decrease pressure on. the vocal cords, improving breathing, resonance, and reducing the effort. required to produce sound. >> So, it makes you a better singer. >> But does it though? Because like opera. singers, aren't they all fat? >> I think so. Classic. >> I wonder if you have to be. >> I don't know. >> Are there any like really thin like. handsome opera singers? >> Yeah. I don't know about all fat. I.
think it's like. >> I like the just generals. I think it's. like a [laughter]. thing. >> It's a cartoon. I have the same thing. I'm like, yeah, I've seen that in. cartoons as well. always the big fat jolly guys. >> Fat lady with Viking helmet. >> Yeah, it's always. >> But that sounds good though. So your. voice gets clearer, higher pitched. >> and it's not as much effort. >> Yeah. Sounds like that's R&B legend. status then. You can do high notes. >> Cat cardio. Like you'll have way more. cardio. Like you'll you your heart won't. beat as fast. You'll be able to have. more oxygen to sing. >> Yeah, dude. >> It's all good. >> Yeah, that's awesome. >> I mean his voice is amazing. And it's.
his songwriting, too. It's not just the. voice. It's like what he's singing. about. But it's like that's not going to. get any worse. >> Yeah. And his his fans I'm I have it. like a weird thing in my head where like. for comedy I'm like if I get. [clears throat] too good of shape people. are going to be like [ __ ] this guy which. I don't that's not what's stopping me. but it's like you always wonder about. that. Like I wonder if they'd be like. damn. >> right. >> You know what I mean? >> Well that is a weird thing. Like I never. >> on stage with a t-shirt on. >> Yeah. If you're too jacked. Yeah. >> Yeah. Like I would never go on stage. with a tank top on.
>> Tank would be Tank might be kind of. funny. Tank would be kind of funny. Crazy. >> That would be crazy. [laughter]. >> Rich Voss used to do that all the time. He always worked up on stage. >> That makes perfect sense. >> Yeah. Boss. Yeah. Character like Kid. Rock style. >> I just saw Yeah. I just saw Did you. [laughter] see the workout vid? >> No. What do you mean? >> You didn't see the Kid Rock Kennedy. workout vid? >> Shut up. You didn't see this? >> No. You said you did it off social. media, so you must have really got off. social media. >> I'm off social media, >> dude. It is It's very funny. I'm off.
social media, but apparently I'm not off. the [ __ ] news, which I think I have. to be off now cuz I haven't been gone on. social media, but I'll read the Apple. news feed and the Google news feed. I'm. like, [ __ ]. >> That's basically scrolling, too. I I. tried the same thing. >> I was reading about B-52s headed to some. Air Force base nuclear equipped B-5. I'm. like, what are we doing? >> Yeah. >> So, let me see this workout video. It's. Kid Rock and Oh, Jesus Christ, bro. >> Oh, this must be uh Kid Rock's house. >> Yeah, I think so. Yeah. >> Rock out workout. [laughter].
>> [clears throat]. >> RFK Jr. works out in jeans. >> Yeah, he's Look, he he always works out. in jeans, which is so crazy. Yeah, this. is Kid Rock's house. Kid Rock has a. [ __ ] insane house that looks like the. White House. He had like the outside of. it looks like the White House, but the. inside of it has two bedrooms and it's. like 25,000 square ft. It's an enormous. house with two bedrooms. >> Yeah. It's all just party. >> He's got a huge like uh hot tub room. Look at RFK Junior's [ __ ] jack, dude.
>> Awesome. [clears throat]. >> For 70 on the a dine. Look at him doing. push-ups. These guys are doing the air a. dine in the sauna. >> I know. >> Wild. >> Yeah. I think they go to his like. >> cold plunge with jeans on. Jeans are. doing crazy. [laughter]. >> What the [ __ ] are you doing? That is. ridiculous. What's wrong with your legs? Now I need to know. >> Where's kid? >> So this is his uh crazy room that looks. like a mining like cavern. >> I've heard of a secret. >> He's got like this. It's really cool. He's really into pickle ball, too. He.
plays pickle ball every morning. >> Yeah. >> That was what he was telling me. He go. get up at play pickle ball 7 am every. pickle ball. [laughter] He's like, "Dude, I [ __ ] love that's what it. looks like. Look at how dope that is. His house is so dope. Like it's so it's. the [ __ ] dopest house I've ever seen. in my life.". >> Yeah, that's awesome. >> And it's such a kid rock house. Like the. outside of it looks exactly like the. White [laughter] House. >> That's just larger. >> I don't want you to be distracted from. the whole milk they're drinking in the. hot tub. >> Oh, they're drinking raw. >> That's raw. That's raw, bro. Yeah. Um, can I bring your attention to something.
that's been happening on the internet. since we've been live? >> Yes. >> Uh, President Trump was asked about. Obama talking about the aliens. I got a. video on the screen. >> Oh, perfect. >> I want to hear it myself. >> Yeah. >> Barack Obama said that aliens are real. Have you seen any evidence of nonhuman. visitors to Earth? >> Well, he gave classified information. He's not supposed to be doing that, you. know. >> So, aliens are real. >> Well, I don't know if they're real or. not. I can tell you he gave classified. information. He's not supposed to be. doing that. He made He made a big.
mistake. He took it out of classified. information. No, I don't I don't have an. opinion on it. I never talk about it. A. lot of people do. A lot of people. believe it. >> Do you believe it, Peter? >> Well, the president. >> I do now. [laughter]. >> I may get him out of trouble by. declassifying. >> We know illegal aliens. >> I may get him out of trouble by. declassifying. That's hilarious. >> What else? That was it. >> Ah, >> what's going around the internet these. uh in the circles of these.
>> I may get him out of trouble by. declassifying. Jeez, I I hope he does. >> Yeah. Really? >> Yeah. You imagine you can go to you can. get in trouble as a president for saying. aliens are real? >> I I don't think so, man. I I don't think. he's going to get in trouble for that. >> Well, what did he say then? What was. that? >> They've been saying there's aliens. But. what did he just say? >> He was just He just hates Obama. He's. going like, [laughter] "Oh, he's going. to jail. I'm getting Hillary and I'm. getting Obama for aliens. They all hate. each other and then they all hang out. and shake hands. >> Yeah. Yeah. Though whose funeral was. that when like George Bush and them were.
handing out candy to each other? It's. like George Bush and. >> Well, George Bush and Michelle Obama are. apparently friends. >> Oh, they're buddies. >> Yeah. Okay. >> Which everybody thought but George Bush. never engaged in like this insult kind. of thing that Trump does. True. >> It's a different thing. >> Yeah. It's totally No, that's. >> He was always very classy. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And especially when you see the videos. of him back in the day, like now you're. like, man, this guy's like lovable. >> Oh, dude. In comparison to the. politicians [laughter] saying yeah. >> he was like oh when is he running again. >> class the guy's a complete class act and.
then you're like oh yeah [ __ ] Middle. East forgot about that but it's like. >> oh yeah well he had Satan on his side. >> Yeah true [laughter]. >> Dick Cheney was. >> true. >> running around [ __ ] shooting his. friends in the face and hunting trips. >> That's true. I don't know. I mean that. thing is like did it was it classifi? There's like now but then if Trump's. going to be like that he gave out. classified then he's letting you know. it's classified and he's telling you the. cat's out of the bags. Well, he's saying. I may declassify it. >> I hope he does. I hope this like gets. him cuz that is a weird thing to say.
He's not supposed to be saying that. Well, that means it's real. He gave out. classified information. That means. there's real data that aliens are real. That's the only thing you could draw as. a conclusion from that statement. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> Yeah. You would think. >> I think I don't think it's I would try. like try to come up with another. reasonable way he would say aliens are. real. You shouldn't say that because. it's classified. >> Yeah, >> that means it's real. >> Yeah, it is. But that's like that's such. a crazy If Trump was trying to keep it. classified, you think he'd be like, I.
don't know what he's talking about. >> Well, I don't know, dude. >> Being like, well, yeah, they are, but I. can't say they are, and he's in trouble. now. >> I told you I've talked to Bob Lazar many. times. >> Oh, yeah, they are. >> I had them on the podcast. I had dinner. with him when Andrew Schultz I I Schultz. was in in town in LA. I go, "What are. you doing tonight?" And he goes, "Why? What's up?" I go, "You want to go have. dinner with Bob Lazar? He's the guy that. used to back engineer UFOs at Area 51. He goes, "Fuck yes.". >> Damn. >> All right. So, we went to Fogo to Chow. in LA and we sat down with Bob Lazar.
>> and [clears throat] just got to ask him. all these questions. I've talked I've. known him for years now. So, I've known. him for probably when I did the podcast. with him. What year was that Jamie? >> 2019. >> 2019. So, I've known him for six, seven. years now. Okay. Whatever. However it. runs out timewise. and. he's always had the same story. He's a. very reasonable guy. You hang out with. I've had dinner with him a couple times. >> Super normal guy. Doesn't seem like a. big fat liar. Obviously a scientist. Like obviously like a very brilliant.
guy. Like I don't know what to think. I. I want I keep searching for some. [ __ ] I keep searching for some. thing. He never saw any aliens. He never. saw anything. He just was backineering. these crafts that didn't make any sense. He's like he he got there. He saw it. The moment he saw it, it looked like. that thing. That's what it's based on. That's that thing on the desk. That's. the sport model. >> Jesus Christ. >> There's a guy named Designs by Perry and. the E and Perry is a three and he makes.
these. You could buy them on the. internet. He makes a like a desk clock. or a desk lamp rather. >> So he'd have to like examine the like. motor or whatever the mechanisms of. that. >> They didn't even tell him what he was. doing. So this is what it was. So he. worked at Los Alamos. Los Alamos Labs in. New Mexico. And um he was a propulsions. expert. He had famously put a jet engine. on the back of a Honda. Like he built a. Honda with a jet engine on it just for. funsies. He was just a just a genius. He.
just loved engineering and doing things. >> And uh he had contacted this guy about. getting some work some you know work in. laboratories or whatever. and he said, "I might have something for you that uh. is more along the lines with your. capabilities. I'm gonna set up a meeting. for you." So, he sets up this meeting. for him. He has no idea what the meeting. is about. He has no idea what they're. doing. They don't tell him. They just. start asking him about his background, what he did at Los Alamos, what what. he's interested in, and he's like just.
tells his whole story of science and. this and that. >> And so, they had already heard about. him. So, they go, "Okay, show up at this. place. um there's airplanes that are. going to fly you out to where you're. going. So he's like, "Okay." So no one. even knew about these airplanes back. then. Now it's been confirmed that. there's a bunch of airplanes right. outside of Mandalay Bay. You could see. these airplanes that they fly the. employees uh that work in Area 51 and. they live in Las Vegas. They just fly. them out there. But nobody knew about. this in 1989 when he was talking about.
it when he blew the whistle on it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And so they fly him out there. They, you. know, show him how everything works for. a couple days in terms of like how the. base works and where you have access to, what you don't have access to. They. bring him this guy that is his co-orker. that was there before and then it was. kind of going to show him the ropes. >> and then a couple days in they bring him. into a hanger and there's that thing and. it has American flag sticker on it and. so he goes, "Oh, these are ours." He's.
like, "Oh my god, no wonder why people. are seeing these things. This is. something that we have.". >> So then they tell him essentially, "Tell. us how it works.". >> He's like, "What is this, a test? Like. what?" Like they're very vague about. everything. >> No one's telling him where it came from. No one's telling him anything. And then. he realizes like the whole thing doesn't. make sense cuz there's no welds. There's. no seams. It's like it's 3D printed and. you have to crawl in it because it's. designed for people that are like 3 feet.
tall. >> And there's no controls in it. It's like. what is this? And there's this generator. in the center of it that has this. triangle piece of this element that. doesn't even exist on Earth. This. element 115. He's like, "Wait, what the. [ __ ] is going on?" And they explained to. him, "You bombard this element with. radiation. this is how this thing works. You put this dome on it, gets bombarded. with radiation, and then that causes.
this field around this craft that allows. you to move around. And so they do a. demonstration for him. He goes outside, they fly this thing. When he's under it, he can't see it. He has to step away. from where he is so he can see it again. He's like, "What the [ __ ] is this thing? It's not making any noise. It moves. around. And it gives off this like. glowing light when whatever that. whatever this generator inside of it is. is operational. It gives off this blue.
glowing light. And this thing was like. silently flying around. And occasionally. it would go from one point to another. very quickly. Like it could go from like. this part of the mountain to that part. of the mountain just appear there. And. it would look like it just disappeared. because it would move so fast. It would. just appear in a new place. It seemed. like. >> What was steering the thing? I don't. understand it. And he didn't understand. it either. They they don't exactly know. He knows how supposedly this generator,
there's these gravity beam projectors. that are on the bottom of it. And the. way you get it to fly fast, it would. turn sideways and then it would point. these gravity projectors or whatever. they called it into a certain direction. It would create this this void around. this craft and it would just. instantaneously go to wherever it was. supposed to go. >> [ __ ] dude. That's crazy, >> right? And so he's working on this for, you know, months and months and then his. wife starts having an affair on him.
because he doesn't tell her what he's. doing. It's like super top secret. And. so when you have the super top secret. clearance, you can't tell anybody what. you're doing. >> So he's like, "I got to go to work.". She's like, "It's 11:00 at night. where. are you going? He's like, I have to go. to work. So, he would just jet off and. she was like, well, I'm going to go [ __ ]. my flight attendant or my flight uh. instructor. >> So, this is all recorded because they're. tapping his phones. >> And so, they they suspend him because. they're wondering if he's going to be.
emotionally unstable. So, while he's. suspended, he takes his friends. He's. like, I got to tell people about this. Like, I can't even work. Something's. going on. I gotta tell these people. like, "Hey, the every Wednesday I have. the schedule. Every Wednesday they fly. these [ __ ] things." And the reason. why they do it on Wednesday is guess. that's when there's the least amount of. traffic on the roads. >> So he takes his wife and he takes a. couple of friends and he takes them up. to see this thing and they go once and. then they go twice and then they get. caught. [snorts]. >> Damn. And then when they get caught then. they grill him, they scare him. They're.
poking him in the chest with a gun and. they're freaking him out and then they. tell him about his wife and the affair. and all this [ __ ] And so then he goes. public and so he gets inuh hold of this. guy George Knap who's a news reporter in. Las Vegas and he tells him the story and. first initially they black his face out. and you know like so he could remain. anonymous. He's like look the only way I. could stay alive you have to show my. face cuz they're threatening him. They. broke into his house. He goes outside. He goes to the gym goes outside. His. trunk is open. His hood is open. All his.
doors are open. The car was locked. No. one broke into it. >> So he has no idea. They're [ __ ] with. him and he's really worried. Someone. shoots his tire out on the highway. >> Where is he now? >> He's. >> just chilling. >> Well, he's I don't know if I'm supposed. to say where he lives. >> Oh, whatever. But he's he's like around. >> Yeah. No, he's around. I mean, this is a. long time ago. It was a long time ago. And, you know, he was kind of. discredited. They they tried to. discredit him. They said he never worked. at Los Alamos Labs, but then someone got. a hold of the employee roster from the.
time that he was working there, and his. name's listed there. So someone who. worked there at the time said, "I have. the employee roster from, you know, 1985. or whatever it was." And he says like, "Here, right here." And you they go. through the roster and says, "Right. there, Robert Lazar.". >> And there's also a newspaper article. that was printed about him being a. physicist at Los Alamos Labs and that he. had made this crazy jet engine powered. Honda. And. >> so there's him with the Honda and he's. listed in this lab that he's a a. physicist at this lab. >> Dude, that's that shit's so weird. So, and and then what what that guy just.
said, what Trump just said, he's not. supposed to say that. It's classified. like. >> Yeah. What? Why don't you [ __ ] tell. us? >> Well, I always wonder if they're going. to try to do like a Space Force thing. where it's like WMD is the Middle East. We go to the Middle East. Now they're. going like, "Yeah, I think there are. there are aliens and it's like now we. get to do like Space Force shit.". >> I I think if there are aliens, you can't. do [ __ ] to them. >> I know. But it's also like if you want. to erect some weird defense thing in. outer space so we can spy on China. It's. like yeah I I think there's probably are. aliens for the by the way like there's I.
would imagine there's something. >> imagine there's something. >> cuz the government whenever they start. floating out things like I always I. assume there's like an agenda. I'm like. all right what are they doing. >> 100%. >> cuz they just dropped aliens on us out. of nowhere and everyone was kind of like. okay. >> well it really started around 2017. That's when it started to become. legitimized because that was when the. New York Times printed this article. about it and they talked about these. pilots and their experiences and these. videos that they couldn't explain. because these crafts had no heat. signature and they were flying in. ridiculous speeds over the ocean.
>> Yeah. >> I I remember them just coming out with. it and then like. >> just and then they started doing the UAP. thing and all that stuff and they were. like, "Yeah, there's like unidentified. crafts and you know, blah blah blah.". So, I'm always kind of like, "What are. they up to?". >> Yeah, it's weird. >> What the hell are these guys up to? hard. to know what's real and what's not real. But when you start talking to pilots and. people that have experienced certain. things, >> you know, you just go, "Wow, what is. this guy saying?". >> Yeah. And I again, I don't deny it. I'm. always kind of like, "Yeah, you probably. did see that stuff." But it's like, I.
don't know. You know, it's like, >> why is it classified? >> It's got to be mil I would imagine it's. military stuff where they're like, "We. want to use it for we want to reverse. engineer and use it for our military. If. this gets into another military's hands, blah blah blah." But then they're all. spying on each other, so I would imagine. they would know, too. >> Well, the people that I've talked to. said that Russia and China both have. retrieved crashes. >> Really? >> Yeah. It's not just America that has. them. It's other countries that have. them, too. >> Damn. >> Supposedly, this is the big story. >> Supposedly, >> there's uh one that's so big that they.
can't move it, so they built a building. around it. That's supposed to be in. Korea. >> What? >> Supposedly, that's why I heard it's in. Korea. But yeah, this is the lore that. this thing is so big that they couldn't. move it that they had to put a building. around it. >> Dude, that's that's wild. That'll be the. the thing I always think about if they. come out and say, "Yeah, there's. definitely aliens." Like, what do people. do? >> Yeah, this is the building supposedly. >> A giant building is South Korea's often. sighted as a potential UFO storage. facility.
>> You imagine if they just built it the. shape of a UFO? >> It kind of looks like it, honestly, crazy, >> dude. do a square building. You got. >> What's in that [ __ ] building? >> I don't know. >> Imagine if that's real. >> Yeah. What is this? Why Why are they uh. Why do they think this? >> Well, I would imagine that place would. have to be heavily guarded. >> Yeah, >> it was just a gate. Who's that guy? Eric. Berles insisted on the existence of. aliens, but admitted he has no. definitive proof. Okay.
>> I was talking in that video I showed you. the other day [snorts] who said he was. going to go look at these places. He was. going to go look in Korea. >> Uh he mentioned he was going to go look. at the underground one. He didn't say. where it was. >> Oh, this is the congressman. A. congressman has claimed. So scroll. scroll down there a little lower. >> So here it is. US congressman has. claimed classified facility housing a. UFO is hiding in plain sight. Well, that's kind of hiding in plain sight. They literally made a little antenna on. the top just like this sport model. Look. at this sport model. It has that antenna. on the top. >> I don't know what to believe, man. But I.
know I want to believe. >> diameter. 270 feet in diameter. Holy. [ __ ]. >> Yeah, it's [ __ ] That's insane. Yeah. Especially now with all the deep fake. stuff that's going to come out. Like the. next election we'll be in like deep fake. territory. Everyone will be like, "You. were on the Epcene list. You were on. it." No, you were. >> I'm like I'm just, you know, >> you could have people saying all kinds. of things that they've never said. >> Or being like, "I didn't do that.". >> Hanging out with people they never hung. out. I mean, there was all these photos. that were fake of Epstein with a bunch. of different people. >> Oh, yeah. No, there was there was a.
completely fake videos people were. sharing. >> Yeah. It's like, you know, so I don't. know. By that time, it's like I've been. trying to just pull back completely from. like the news and I'm like, you know, >> hey, what is the official story of the. Co Bear show where they had to air that. Terrio interview on YouTube because I'm. hearing two versions. I'm hearing one. version is that CBS wouldn't let them. air it because like Trump was involved, the government was involved somehow or. another because they're worried about.
this Taler Rico guys, this very uh. charismatic guy in Texas that I really. like. Very nice guy. Had him on the. show. >> Brian Simpson told me about him. And. then the other thing that I'm hearing is. no. with FCC equal time rules. If he had. Terico on, he would also have to have. Terico's opponent, which is I think. Jasmine Crockett. Is that true? >> I didn't even know. >> Whoever his opponent is. >> So, I think there's rules like that for. the FCC that don't exist for podcasts.
You know what I'm saying? >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. They have to balance it. >> Yeah. Like, if you have this person on. that's running for office, you also have. to have someone that is opposing them, right? They have to have equal time. >> I didn't know they had. Is that true? So he was on was he [clears throat] was. on Co Bear. Whose show was he on? >> Yeah, Steven Coar show. Okay. And so. they were framing it like it was uh the. government was censoring this guy. because they're wor and he was saying. they're worried that they're going to. flip Texas. >> That's what he's saying. >> I don't know if that's true though.
because I I'm. >> So it's the diff. Honestly, this sounds. like it's a Co Bear saying one thing, CBS lawyers are saying a different. thing. >> Okay. What are CBS lawyers saying? >> They're saying that it's the FC FCC. thing. Coar says, quote, "Here, they. know damn well every word of my script. was approved by CBS lawyers who, for the. record, approve every script that goes. on the air.". >> Yeah, but it's not about the script. It's about the humans, the people that. are on if the people are Yeah, here it. is. The show provided legal guidance.
that the broadcast could trigger the FCC. equal time rule for two other. candidates, including Rep. Jasmine. Crockett and presented options for how. equal time for other candidates could be. fulfilled. So, you would have to have. equal time. Coar scoffed at the. statement during Tuesday's show. They. know damn well every word of my script, but it doesn't have anything to do with. the script. Said they do know damn well. that every word of my script last night. was approved by CBS lawyers who for the. record approved every script that goes.
on the air. Well, that's just diverting. because that's not what the subject is. here. >> Okay. I got called backstage to get more. notes from these lawyers, something that. had never ever happened before. They. told us the language they wanted me to. use to describe that equal time. exception. And I used that language, Coar said. So, I don't know what this is. about. He went on to say he wasn't mad. at the network and does not want an. adversarial relationship. Well, he's on. his way out anyway. >> Yeah. I thought I didn't know he still. was doing a show.
>> Yeah, he's doing it I think until like. April or May or something. Come on, you're Paramount. No. No, no, no. You're. more than that. You're Paramount Plus, he cracked. And for the lawyers to. release this statement without even. talking to me is really surprising. The. host also noted there's been a long, very famous exception to the equal time. rule. And that exception included talk. shows interviews with politicians. Oh, interesting. So, that makes it. interesting. We looked, we couldn't find. one example of this rule being enforced. for any talk show interview, not only.
for my entire late night career, but for. anyone's late night career going back to. the 1960s, he said. Coar said that Carr. has not gotten rid of that exception. exception for uh talk show host yet. Maybe. um CBS was worried that this is a rule. and that the government could crack down. on them. Although no one has ever done. that in the past.
>> So this is a different kind of. government, right? Obviously, it's a. very adversar adversarial relationship. CBS or at least. >> the Coar show has already with Trump. >> Yeah. Well, what what are they worried. about? Who is who is Tyler? What party. is Terrio? >> He's a Democrat. >> Democrat. And what? Crockett. What's. Crockett? >> She's a Democrat as well. >> He's a Democrat, too. So, what is like. Oh, they're running against each other. >> Exactly. Exactly. >> Yeah. Okay. Terrio is a white guy. >> He's a guy. His story is very. interesting. He was a school teacher. Okay. >> And um his story was that he had this.
kid that was very troubled in his class, but the kid was receiving counseling and. was starting to get better. But then. budgets got cut. And when budgets got. cut, they cut off the counseling. And. this kid started [ __ ] off and, you. know, acting out and really falling. apart. and he wound up getting kicked. out of school and it really hurt him. because he was like this kid had like. real potential and he is a teacher you. know. >> Yeah. >> And so then he decided to run for office. and to try to remedy these problems. >> Got you. >> So didn't he just get like jammed up. with something now or like they were.
someone claimed they were in his office. and that he said something kind of like. disparaging about like a black guy. >> Terrio. >> He's a very mild manner looking guy, right? >> Yeah. There was I I I don't know if I'm. getting my politics. >> See, man, when people are running. against people, stories started flying, >> but there was a it was about another. politician. All he said was like, "I. didn't know I was going up against, you. know, this like I don't know, I guess. like a whatever word he used like. electrifying black." I thought it was. going up against a mediocre black guy. >> That was hear. They some lady claimed.
that he called Colin Alred a mediocre. black man. faced allegations that he. referred to his opponent Colin all red. as a mediocre black man during a private. conversation with an influencer. An. influencer. >> Yeah. >> A comment Rep. Taller Rico has denied. The allegation caused significant. backlash with all red calling for. supporters to vote for another. candidate, Jasmine Crockett. >> Oh, >> yeah. So, it's like. >> Yeah, that's a way to get people to not. vote for that guy. >> Yeah. Kind of sucks. >> An influencer said it. an influencer was.
like, "I worked in his campaign." And he. was like, "If I known I was going up. against this strong black woman, I. wouldn't have known. I thought I was. running against a mediocre black man.". And then the guy responded being like, "Nothing about me is mediocre." You. know, they they kind of. >> into what the penalty is for the equal. time rule. And I don't really see one. >> Poor Tal Tala is having a tough time, especially if it sounds like he's a. sweet guy who's like trying to help kids. out. And there's, you know, >> his name's too close to the guy that. killed Epstein. [laughter]. >> What's his name? >> I keep [ __ ] him up. I keep Tagle.
Terico. [laughter]. >> There's a Yeah, that's. >> I keep confusing them, but I tell when I. say the the killer's name, >> that cop I keep saying I think his name. is Tag Leon. No, Tal Tal. No [ __ ]. [laughter]. >> It's going to it's going to catch up to. him. He's like, I think this guy killed. Epste actually. >> The thing is like an influencer said. like what does that mean? >> Yeah. I mean it's I mean look yeah it's. pretty genius though if you want to do. dirty politics you can just be like.
>> but what if he said I was going I. thought I was going up against this. mediocre guy and now I'm going up. against this powerful black lady. >> That's it's not a bad I but then he. didn't he [clears throat] was like you. know I'd be like that makes sense. >> But he is a black man. So if you're. saying mediocre guy and it happens to be. a black man and then that person says he. said mediocre black man like. [groaning]. yeah it's not it's not even that bad of. a thing to say. All he'd have to do is. just not say the black part and he'd be. like, "Oh, he's just talking about a. politician. The guy's mediocre. >> I know. >> Happens to be black, but he's mediocre.". But as soon as you describe him.
accurately, >> yeah, you just you're fried. >> Especially Especially if you're a damn. man. If you're damn, you cannot be going. >> No. >> He's a religious guy, too, which is. interesting. But also opposes putting. the Ten Commandments in schools. >> Okay. >> Yeah. He said, "I think it's going to. push people away from Christianity." He. had a very well thoughtout point about. it. Yeah, we had a really good. conversation. >> Also, you don't need to be in school and. be like, "Thou shalt not commit. adultery." It's like, "Yeah, dude. They're not going to [ __ ] your wife.". Like, [laughter]. >> it's not that. It's you're pushing this. religious rule, these religious rules on.
people. And it's one religion. It's. like, what about people that are. Buddhists? What about people that are. Muslims? What about people that are. Mormons? What about. >> you can go down the list forever and. ever and ever, Hindus? Like, what do. come on. >> Yeah. And it's also, you can, you know, you can kind of summarize it up and like. just be nice, you know? I I I worked in. high school for a while. I was a. counselor. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. I was like a I went to school for. social work for a while. And. >> so like what kind of counseling would. you do? >> Just like therapy. I would There was it. was it was a really cool The way they. did it was like it was, you know, it was. a charter school and I was there as an.
intern because I was I was getting my. masters in social work. So they would. have interns there as therapists for the. school kids basically so that the kids. could get free therapy at school if they. were exhibiting kind of problems or. whatever. M. >> so it was like I worked at a like it was. like an inner city school in Philly and. I would just go there and chill in an. office and they would just like I'd have. to get kids from class and they would. just come we would like talk a couple. times a week and then you could bring. their family in if they if they're like. they had problems at home you could be. like all right let's call the mom and. dad. >> this is what this guy was talking about. this is what Terico was talking about. what they cut funding for.
>> Yeah. It's a shame because this this. school was like they kind of like ran it. the I guess they were getting funded by. the. >> uh state but they the way they got. around it was just using interns. So, it. wasn't like, you know, you're not. getting like the most experienced people. in the world, >> but you're getting some help. >> You're getting something, man. You know, >> well, this kid that he was talking. about, he had this very detailed story. about this kid was like a good kid, just. came from a [ __ ] up house. >> Mhm. >> And he wanted and these people around. him were the only positive influences. that he had ever had and he was starting. to get better. >> Yeah. >> And then they took it away and he starts.
falling apart. >> Yeah. And it's dude, it's also like you. don't you forget like you know cuz there. like for kids when you like especially. like in a city and kids are telling you. like their lives. It's like it's [ __ ]. heartbreaking like the [ __ ] like the. their dayto-day setup you'd be like. [ __ ] Christ man. And then just. looking at you like what do I do? And. I'm like. >> you got to hang in there. There's. nothing I there's there's literally. nothing I can tell you to do. You just. got to hang in there and like. >> it was sad but it was it was one of like. my favorite if I didn't do standup I. would probably do that for a job. >> Yeah. >> I loved it. It was fun. That's well it.
sounds very rewarding, right? You're. actually helping people. >> Yeah. And you have to it's just like. intense. You're just sitting there in a. room with somebody and it's like. everything they're saying. There's no. like guidance. You have to just be like, "All right, well, like maybe this, maybe. that." And it's like a I don't know. I. felt really I always liked it a lot. It. was pretty cool. But then you would like. >> you go back to the school and I I it's. so funny. I went to social work school. just because I was doing standup. I was. kind of kicking around. I was like I was. doing the podcast, but it was like. slowgoing. And I remember watching. Jordan Peterson be like, "The schools. are crazy right now." And part of me.
like I always I wanted to be a therapist. but I remember being like kind of. curious like I wonder how bad they are. And I went to school I went to my. master's program in social work which. was like ground zero for all like the. stuff he was talking about. And he was. dude it was it was literally like worse. than he made it out to be. >> What was it like? >> It was insane dude. It was literally. like you know I went to school again to. be a therapist but like social work you. can be a therapist faster than if you go. to school for psychology because you. just like don't need any of the science. really. you just study kind of like the. theory and you know whatever. So you can.
be a therapist quicker. It's like a. shortcut kind of. But it would be like. it was just you'd be in a room with like. 13 other people and they would like you. know you talk about whatever it be like. let's let's talk about like clinical. approaches here and there and it would. just right away turn into like race, gender, who's the most oppressed, do. this and it was just like people would. tell stories like one time this guy said. this to me and everyone like I can't. believe that [ __ ] guy said that. It. was literally like nothing. He paid 60. grand. It was like like I would be. terrified if I was getting therapy and.
again it's like not everybody but. there's a lot of very unh people would. cry in class. So you'd be like talking. and like people would just start. bursting out in tears like I don't feel. safe. It was insane. I'm like dude. you're going to be talking to people who. are like homeless. How are you going to. help them? [snorts]. >> Oh my god. >> And it was all female. It was mostly. female dominated. It was like me and. three or four other guys. And then like. people would come in cuz you'd bring. your case files in and be like here's. something I'm dealing with. let me get. some, you know, what do you think about. this? I remember this guy was dealing.
with this like Vietnam vet who like, you. know, had like lived in Philly his whole. life. And he was like, I was just. shocked the way he talked about women. It's like, bro, you're dirty macking. your client, dude, for these chicks. I'm. like, come on, man. It was just kind of. weird. It was like, dude, you know, he's. a [ __ ] 70-year-old dude. He's lived. in Philly his whole life. >> He probably stabbed Charlie in a tunnel. somewhere. >> Yeah. And he was like, he was just very. crude about women. It's like, come on, man. Of course this guy is. >> Yeah. >> Don't throw him under the [ __ ] bus. You're supposed to be helping. That was. my whole point. And it was like if. you're doing therapy with people, it's. like, you know, life is just so hard and.
so complex and if you're going to be. like this doesn't sit with my party. politics. I was like, you guys got to. drop the political [ __ ] man. And just. like meet these people where they're at. >> Well, there's so many guys out there. that just want brownie points. >> That's what I And dude, it was exactly. what it was. I was like, dude, I know. what you're doing right now. You're. dirty macking this guy. So, you can be. like Personally, I was offended. I'm. like, dude, >> those guys are the worst. Oh, I could I. couldn't stand it at all. >> Those guys are the worst. >> Then they tried to kick me out of the. school cuz when Shane got in trouble for. SNL, my name popped up in the by line.
cuz I they had no clue. I had it was. like a double life. I would do I would. go to social work school [laughter] like. cuz I just took out loans. I'm like, we'll just see what you know, if the. podcast [snorts] works, I'll just pay. off the loans. If it doesn't, I'll have. a degree. And uh so I had been it had. been pretty contentious because my plan. was like, dude, just go keep it cool. Don't say anything. And then dude, you. be in these classrooms and like I. remember the one time this lady and. they're all like young. They right out. of college. They'd come out and they'd. be like, "Well," and I believe this is.
like unprompted. She was like, "Well, if" She was like, "I would never. personally call the cops on a black. person ever." [snorts] And I'm just. sitting in the back of the room and I'm. like, "What? No one's going to say this. is the craziest thing." And I'm like, "What if he was beating a woman?" And. she was like, "Uh, I mean like uh" and. like it was just that nonfucking stop. And I I couldn't help it. So I would. start saying stuff the room would go. into chaos. So [laughter] like I I. literally couldn't bite my tongue and uh. and then eventually they found once they. they already kind of had it out for me. and once that news came out about the.
podcast they were like we got them dead. to rights. So then they they like the. student council like they all them they. didn't like me at all. They all kind of. did a motion to get me kicked out. And. uh so the teacher came or like you know. the dean or whatever who actually was. nice. I liked her a lot. She like I had. a meeting with her and she was like, "Yeah, these people feel unsafe blah. blah blah." So I had I had to do and it. was like unsafe or they just don't you. know they don't like what they're. hearing but like they I had a meeting. with like the board basically which you. ever like fantasize about getting like.
defending yourself in court. >> Yeah. >> I got to do that and I got to have like. a you know we got to like debate about. whether or not I actually violated the. code of ethics and it was like kind of. this gray area. It was like it was. awesome. I recorded it on my phone. >> Wow. >> It's like an hour long. It's I never. listen to it again, but it was like cuz. I was like just in case they jam me up. The lady was like, >> you know, like if what would you do if. we kicked you out? And I was like, dude, like. >> I I'll make the most of that for sure. Like I wouldn't want to do it, but I' I. would just see you guys, man. Like, you. can't kick me out. I'm already like. invested. I you know, blah blah blah.
And then co happened. So like they were. just hushed it all. I just got to finish. online class. >> Yeah. They tried to give me the boot and. I remember the day. >> Wow. >> Did they have a specific thing that they. were upset about? Was it your. association with Shane? It was just that. clip, that Chinatown clip came out and. they just saw us like I'm sure they like. looked into other stuff but they were. like this he's making this place unsafe. We're not safe here and I was like shut. up. >> Yeah, podcasters and academia. >> It was Dude, it was. >> academia that does not go together. >> Also, dude, like I thought like having a. masters I was going to be around.
geniuses. It's like they're not that. smart. You go [laughter] to a place with. masters and PhDs, half of them don't. even like read anything. You talk about. a book like I never heard of that. And. then they'd show you like Netflix. Like, bro, I'm paying 60 grand for this. You're hitting me with a Netflix stock. It's like I This is eight bucks a month. >> They were showing you Netflix stocks. class. >> Yeah, there was We watched a Netflix. doc. One of the classes we watched like. the 13th Amendment and I was like, I saw. this already. What the [ __ ] man? Like. it's the that that like I mean, I. remember thinking like, damn, everyone. was on Peterson's ass about this. He was.
totally right. liberal liberal arts. colleges were like it was it I couldn't. have thought of a bigger waste of money. in terms of like bang for buck and like. what did I actually learn? >> Well, I remember when we were talking. about all the madness that was going on. in schools and people like why do you. care about this? This is happening in. college. I'm like they're going to. eventually graduate and they're going to. have this ideology and they're going to. get into corporations. They're going to. get into business. They're this they're. going to carry this with them and try to. enforce these crazy rules. or you know.
somebody like your kids having problems. and you go to a therapist and they're. this like psycho like there was we would. talk about modalities of therapy one of. them someone float it and the teacher. was like oh yeah for sure was called. like it was I don't know what it was. called it's like activism therapy where. you get people politically active in. order to like motivate them and enrich. their lives and I was like you can't do. that you can't take like a confused. existentially a drift person and be like. this is what you need to do go. >> politically. >> I swear to God dude it was there was. there was like really creep creepy stuff.
going on there. And it was all just like. complete group think. You couldn't like. if you said anything outside of like. what was acceptable that you would just. get punished. The teachers would kind of. even like some of them would try to like. scold you or be like, "Yeah, okay, dude." And it's like it's it's a lot. It. would I could see it why it would just. break people because I would like my. heart would be beating. I don't really. like conflict like that. Yeah. >> But it was also like dude some of the. stuff you're like I can't not say. anything. This is insane. Dude, >> do you ever talk about this on stage? >> No, I've never really talked about being. in social work. Oh my god. It's like.
there's gold in them Dar Hills. >> True. >> It was fun. That time of the podcast, I. would leave school. I would then I come. back to the podcast like, "Bro, you. won't believe what the [ __ ] these people. are saying." [laughter]. You say it on the podcast. Oh, that's. awesome. >> It just seems like it's a great gold. mine for standup. >> Yeah. Like cuz you have a very unique. experience. >> True. >> Like to as a window into how crazy. people are in school. >> Mhm. Yeah. No, it was it was terrifying, man. And then the weirdest part is like. after years went by, they were like, "Do.
you want to get your PhD here?". >> I was like, "No, after co after it all, >> they just wanted your money.". >> Exactly. That's I saw that and I was. like, "Man, get the hell out of here.". >> Would be nice to be call yourself Dr. Matt, though, >> bro. Don't think I didn't think about. it. >> Come on, [laughter] dog. Come on, dog. >> I know. I've been. >> shows you how many kooky doctors there. are out there. >> That really opened my eyes. I thought. doctors were like the smartest people in. the world and I went to like higher. education. I'm like, this is [ __ ]. insane. Yeah, >> anyone can you could be a doctor, dude. Anyone could I mean obviously like. anyone could be a [ __ ] doctor.
>> Well, especially about some subjects, right? >> Exactly. That's a thing. Not like. >> Not hard sciences. >> Not hard science. If you want you want. to be a doctor, you could go for like. anthropology, whatever. >> Yeah. >> No problem, dude. >> Yeah. >> And they can't say [ __ ] Like you can. make up you can like make your thesis on. anything and be like, "Excuse me.". >> [gasps]. >> Well, did you ever see what uh Peter. Begoian and uh James Lindsay and Ellen. Pluck Pluck Rose did? >> Do you know what they did? No. >> They they made these fake academic. papers.
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. I saw that. >> Like heteronormative. something in dog parks. They were. talking about like gay experiences with. dogs have. And it was like a. peer-reviewed paper. Uh fat bodybuilding. was one of them. [laughter] Yeah. And. and these they were like celebrated. these papers were celebrated, >> dude. It would go 100% with like the. theory, like the critical race theory. and all that stuff you cover. When you. get into it, you're like it was and I I. remember like saying this, it was very. like uh it reminded me cuz I I'd been. outside of Walmart, someone handed me.
like a pamphlet and it was like white. supremacy literature. When you read that. stuff, you read the first two sentences, you go, "Okay, that sounds legit." And. then it just there's this like huge. quantum leap in reasoning. You're like, "Whoa, how the [ __ ] did we get here?" A. lot of that's very similar where they'll. make a thing like you just no one can. disagree with, right? And then it jumps. real quick and you're like just complete. group think. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> It that was scary to be like damn dude, these people are going to be like these. people are therapists working with kids, older people, you know, this and that, you know, and it was just like I was. like, how this how is this the people.
supposedly like, you know, guiding. people through life or like taking. people who are lost or suffering and. being, you know, I don't know. It was it. was kind of rough. >> cuz the animous against a person who. like thought differently, it was. palpable and like very severe to where. it was like dude. And the funniest part. was like I was again I was in that high. school in the inner city. It was the the. school was like 97% black, the rest. Latino, and they were like how would. your students feel about your podcast. material? I'm like they don't give a. [ __ ] They would laugh. Like they have.
bigger fish to fry than being like what. did you say on a podcast? It's like. they're like high schoolers in Philly. fighting for their lives. >> How do your students feel? >> That was the big disconnect. I'm like. you guys have like I don't know man like. they they would even teach you this. would crack me up. I was like thinking. about this the other day where they they. would tell you if you had a client and. you know say your client was black and. you know I'm a white guy. I should lead. by going like how do you feel about the. fact that I'm white and you're black? I. was like dude you guys realize you're in.
a classroom studying how to talk to a. black person. And I'm like, that's. [ __ ] weird. >> I was like, just talk to like you can. just talk to them, man. And if that. comes up, you can tackle it. >> I'm like, you're uncomfortable. And then. you're going like, so black person, how. do you feel that I'm white? It's like, dude, that is And they would push back. against me. I'm like, no, no, you guys. can't do that. That's crazy. >> Well, you were actually applying it in. the real world. They were just. exhibiting. They were just hanging out. in these circle jerks. >> Exactly. And a lot of them would be. like, you know, I'm social justice, blah, blah, blah. And like, all right, where's your field placement? That was.
like your, you know, um, that was like. your internship. and they're like, "Oh, I'm out in like the the main line's like. a really nice area in Philly." It's. like, "I'm doing like a high school on. the main line." It's like, "Okay, dudes." Like, you know, it's like, "Take. that act somewhere else." And it's like. like those kids don't want to hear any. of this [ __ ] like at all. And I would. like you to talk to them. Like, if race. comes up, I would talk to them. But like. you that would have been so crazy to. take a black eighth grader and being. like, "I'm white. How do you feel about. that?" That that would be so creepy and. weird. Isn't it crazy that they think. you're obligated to bring that up? you.
have an obligation to discuss it. >> Also, it's like they [ __ ] know. They. can see me. I'm clearly white. They know. I'm white. And it's like Exactly. It's. like And if that you talk talk talk and. then you can like bring it up cuz it's a. thing, but it's like leading with that. I always be like. >> the least of their problems. >> Exactly. >> They're just probably happy someone. takes an interest in them and is kind to. them, >> dude. And that was a big thing too of. like, you know, because they you get. them out of class and a lot of them. they'd be like, I'm [ __ ] talking to. this guy. Like whatever. And I would. just chill and be like, "You can just do.
your homework." And then you just start. helping them with their homework. Like, "What are you doing?" And, you know, and. then you eventually build rapport. But. it was just like, you know, I'm like, "These are the teachers telling you. this." And you're like, "Fuck, dude. You. guys are guiding people into this." It. was, dude, I I I walked away from that. being like, god damn. Well, there's a. lot of people that think that like a lot. of psychology and a lot of therapy is. just complete horseshit. >> Yeah. And the argument about therapy. being complete horseshit in terms of. like uh the academic study of it and. applying it to people is that very few.
people, you know, get better. I think it. does help a lot of people though. And I. think it really helps a lot of people if. they're in a really bad place. I think. some people just want to talk to. somebody. >> and that can help too. >> Yeah. But it's like what is the what can. you actually do for them in in terms of. like with the the tools and the. techniques of therapy. versus just being a human and talking to. a human and and and and seeing their.
side of things and trying to tell them. your perspective and trying to give them. a rational point of view and yeah. >> and giving them some maybe some things. to work on. But it's like it's not a. science and not at all. >> And it varies so much between. individuals. >> Well, yeah, there's the individuals. Then there's 40 million modalities of. therapy. So it's like you can be doing. like CBT, which is like that's. supposedly the most scientific where. it's like there's a system. It's a kind. of rigorous. You can have like young and. stuff where you're like what your let's. draw like a mandela based on your.
dreams. Or you can just be like, "Let me. just be nice to this person who's never. had anyone be nice to them and then let. them kind of open up and like, >> yeah, it I think they did a study one. time where they took um they let people. who weren't trained therapists be. therapists and they didn't find a giant. difference as terms of like who was. getting what result. But then there's. it's it is a skill though. That's the. other thing. Like it's a skill. It's a. hard job.". >> Yeah. >> But it I think you're totally right. where it's like it all depends on the. person. Have they are they in touch with. what's [ __ ] the therapist? So they.
know about like what's [ __ ] up with. them and like. >> cuz you can like I don't know man. It's. it's such a crapshoot and it's like. >> I think it can be beneficial. I think. like being stuck in it your whole life. I don't know about that cuz it just. becomes a thing where you start. performing and you're like [ __ ] let me. >> Well, a lot of people feel like you have. to be in therapy and everybody should be. in therapy. Like. >> yeah I I don't know. Like I remember I. didn't do it ever and then when I went. to school for therapy they're like you. got to go you got to go to therapy so. that like you can know what it's like. and blah blah blah. >> I like fair enough. And I genuinely.
walked in there being like I'm about to. blow this lady's mind. She's going to be. like I've never met a guy so put. together. And then like I went in there. and she kind of picked me apart and I. was like [ __ ] I'm kind of [ __ ] up. I. didn't know that. >> That's funny. >> But it was I for real was like I'm going. to this lady's about to be like bro let. me just tell you about my I like for. real had so much. >> I thought you were going [laughter] to. be the therapist first. I thought I was. a chosen one. >> It was good though because like they the. one thing they can do is like if you're. in a family system.
>> and you have no other like you know. available worldviews, you're you're. locked in that. So a therapist can be. somebody outside of a system you would. never wise ever have access to who can. let you run like things through your. head in a way you would never think of. That I think is good. But then it's. like, you know, at a certain point it's. like I feel like you should get in, get. out. Kind of like, all right, here's. some things that like there's like like. acceptance commitment therapy. That's. good. It's like they teach you how to be. like mindful, how to like monitor your. thoughts without having them like. completely attack. There's like there.
are like skills you can learn. >> Yeah. >> But it's like, dude, [ __ ] And the. money of it is crazy. Like that's the. other thing. Like it's so expensive, >> right? And does insurance pay for it for. most people? How does it. >> depends like it it'll cover it for some? You have to be you have to get a. therapist in that network and then they. have to diagnose you. If insurance wants. if you want your insurance to cover you. that therapist has to diagnose you with. a mental disord or some sort of mental. thing. >> Oh, and do they have to prescribe. something for you? >> They don't I don't think they have to. prescribe. No, but it's like. interesting. >> Do they have to just give you a like,
you know, your [snorts] bipolar. adjustment disorder is the one where. it's like. >> but with psychiatrists like I wonder how. many of them are just like incentivized. to put you on something. >> Probably a ton. They're just like. doctors, >> right? So, and then some of them just. swear by it. They're like, "Just take. this, take that, take this.". >> Yeah. I have a friend who went to a. psychiatrist and he said that like. immediately, like first meeting, this. guy's trying to put him on. anti-depressants. >> Yeah. >> And he's like, "Well, I don't think I. need that. Like, I'm not that [ __ ] up.
>> I'm just not happy.". >> Yeah. >> I'm sad. >> It's also the first meeting is crazy. because it's like, "Let's see what your. life's about." Like, >> no. He's like, "Let's get you on this. and it'll make you feel better. >> and then we'll work from there." Like, >> well, some of those guys are like. ruthless materialists where you're like, "Yeah, your brain's just [ __ ] up, dude. Who cares?" Cuz that like uh Did. you ever see the Sapowski guy? >> Yeah, Robert. I think he's great. I. loved his lectures, but his last book, >> and again, this was like from him. promoting it. I didn't read it, but his. argument was like, "Yeah, we just all. have different brains, and if you're. like, >> you know, if you're like a [ __ ] home.
invader or a burglar, it's just your. genes suck." And like, we shouldn't ever. punish anybody. We should just kind of. like keep people aside and just. rehabilitate. basically saying like you. have no choice over what you do at all. Free will is complete illusion. >> Yeah. The the determinism argument. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. I don't know about that argument. I mean obviously free will is real but. obviously you are affected by your. genes, your life circumstances, your. past behavior, your all the experiences. that you've had. There's a lot of. factors to say that will doesn't mean.
anything. Well then why is inspiration. so important? >> Yeah. >> Why do people love inspiration? Why do. people love like a good pep talk? Why do. people love like a good motivational. video that gets you out of the house? Like obviously there's will involved. >> Yeah. >> And will is Will is the thing that turns. you into a jelly roll at 500 lb to jelly. roll at 200 lb. Like that's what will. >> Yeah. >> Like that is that's a real thing, man. That's not a it's not a fake thing. This. idea of free will. It's no determinism.
that led Jelly Roll to decide to start. walking. That was hardcore will. >> Yeah. No, I agree. And I I don't that. argument always bo I like Sepalski. I. liked a lot of his stuff. That argument. just bothers me because it's like okay. you're taking the idea of will and just. switching it with like this nebulous. like what there's like a isotope in your. brain that is on it gets switched on and. then you're able it's just to me it's. such a like a. >> just a weird point to kind of like try. to push across like there's no free. will. It's just your gene activates and. then you do the thing and it's like. >> I guess man but then you can like change.
your genes apparently by like acting a. certain way. So, it's like, you know, I. that's I just never like that stuff, man. >> It's a weird argument, but there's. validity to both perspectives. >> There's validity to the perspective that. free will is a real thing, but also. determinism is a is a giant factor in. how many people live their lives the way. they live them. >> Yeah. There's like if especially if. you're in a [ __ ] circumstance, you're in. a terrible gangridden community, you get.
beaten in your house, your mom's on. crack, there's chaos everywhere. The. idea that you're going to come out of. this writing vegan poetry is insane. >> That's true. >> It's insane. >> No, that that's that's true. >> That's insane. You're you're a product. of your environment, at least to a. certain extent. And usually someone. finds something that they love that. gives them an outlet and then they get. out of there. or the problem with the. determinism stuff for me is like cuz I I. I do get that. It's like, you know, yeah, if you have a horrible upbringing. and you do a hor, you know, you kill. people. It is like, yeah, I get it. Like. if I had that had been me, maybe I can.
do that. And like he's like, maybe we. should treat everyone a lot more kindly. and not punish people. And it's like I'm. on board with that. It all for me it all. stops at pedophiles and it's like so. what? We're supposed to just like. >> right. >> poo poo a pedophile? It's like part of. me is like we should probably [ __ ]. fry those guys where it's like. >> well that's one of the craziest things. about this whole what's going on the. woke [ __ ] in academia is they're. starting to call them minor attracted. persons. So there's like legitimate. academics who are describing pedophiles. as minor attracted persons and that it.
doesn't mean that they're evil. It's. like what? >> Yeah. >> I know. And that's the problem. It's. like okay. >> especially if you have kids like I don't. know anybody who has kids who has that. perspective. >> No. If you did, you have to be like a. sick [ __ ] Like to think that it's oh, it's just a minor attractive person that. [ __ ] my kid. Like what? >> Yeah. Well, that and that's the whole. thing, too. It's like we're all just. bags, you know, of like jeans and we're. this material goo that just does. something. Sometimes it's like, all. right, well, let me [ __ ] squash this. pedophile then. Let me We're all just. bags of goo. Let me, you know, crush.
this guy. But it's like, >> right, it's okay to board a child, but. it's not okay to kill a pedophile. Explain. Help me. >> Yeah, that's where it gets for me. all. that like determinism like we should. just be kind and have a more rational. approach to criminal justice. It's like. for sure and then it's like a [ __ ]. pedophiles. It's like yeah you can't. >> pedophiles, serial killers. >> Yeah, >> there's a lot of rapist. There's a lot. of different people you could throw into. that. One of the interesting things. about Sepalski is uh he did some crazy. work on toxopplasmosis. That's how I.
really got into him. >> Really? >> Yeah. He was the guy that we first. started reading about that was saying. that a disproportionate amount of. motorcycle victims when he was doing his. residency. Um the uh the guy who he was. working with one of the surgeons would. test the motorcycle victims for. toxopplasmosis. >> and he said a giant percentage of them. have this cat parasite. >> Oh yeah, I've heard about this. >> Cat parasite alters behavior. It makes. you more reckless. It makes you more po. prone to erratic uh mood swings.
And it makes you more aggressive. It's. interesting. Yeah. Disproportionate. amount of uh successful soccer teams. have high levels of toxopplasmosis. Countries with higher toxoplas. There. could also be highers countries of. higher toxopplasmosis don't have any. money. It's easier to get a soccer ball. People get good at soccer. It's the way. out of the game. I mean a way out of bad. neighborhoods. >> But this the motorcycle victim thing is. nuts because we know it affects human. behavior. And we also know that it.
affects animal behavior. It makes cats, >> it grows inside cat's guts. It's the. only way that it reproduces. So what it. does is it rewires a sexual reward. system of rodents. >> And like mice and rats get turned on by. the smell of cat piss. So they go to. seek out catpiss with like a boner, like. literally. And they lose all their fear. of cats. So that the cats devour them. And so when the cats devour them, then. that parasite is now inside the cat's. gut, which is where it reproduces.
>> So that's why they tell pregnant women, you should never touch cat litter. >> Really? >> Yeah. It's toxopplasmosis. >> And they think it does the same thing in. humans where it just makes you like kind. of amps up your drives. >> Yeah. >> Damn. That's You know what else is nuts, too? Cuz you were saying that's more in. like certain countries that are like. developing. >> Well, it's in in rural areas in places. where people have like outdoor cats. Yeah. >> Um, but there was one point where in. France it was like 50% of the people had. to talk toxo. >> Jesus Christ. >> Yeah. Cuz they have those wild cats.
everywhere. Yeah. >> And you got to think cats are they're on. your countertop. They're their their. [ __ ] [ __ ] is on their paws. >> Dude, I don't That's the one thing like. I have dogs. I I Cats are fine. If I see. a cat, I'll pet it. But like when I see. people's cats on their countertop and I. don't get squeamish easily, I'm just. kind of like, ew, dude. It's kind of. gross. >> Well, they [ __ ] in a box. They paw. around in that box of [ __ ] and piss and. then they hop on your couch. >> There's [ __ ] and piss on their paws. >> Yeah, >> dogs go outside. They take a [ __ ] They. come inside. They're good. As long as. your dog doesn't rub his [ __ ] on your.
dinner plates, >> you're probably okay. But I've had cats. that like walk on your plates. They. don't give a [ __ ] They'll have they'll. take a seat on your plate. >> Yeah. Like. >> you're like, "I have to get a new plate. now, you [ __ ] What are you doing? Get. off of that." And they they're funny. But I've se every time I see them like. get out of the litter box and walk. across people's countertops, I'm like, "Dude, >> it is funny. I've always had them. though. I have Well, I don't have them. now cuz my kids are allergic. But when I. when I was younger, I had them and they. are fun. I like them. They're fun pets. They're c They're cute. They come over. you and purr. >> Yeah. >> But it is weird that you have a box of.
[ __ ] in your house. >> And there's a lot of people like they're. lazy and you go over their house, they. have a cat, they're not cleaning that. litter box enough, and as soon as you. walk in, the. >> [ __ ] waft of piss and [ __ ] hits you. and they're like, "Bro, you're just. smelling this all day?". >> So bad. I need I would need an outdoor. I used to let stray cats come in my. house when I live I used after college I. lived in a house by myself in Philly. It. was like a small house and uh all the. like a lot of the houses on the street. have been knocked down. So there's only. like there were row homes but I had a. standalone row home. There's a lady. across the street had a standalone row. home. They just knocked all the houses.
next to us down and like two other. people and I would let the stray cat. into my house but I just you know you. can come stay in here but I'd be like. you can't like this thing can't get in. my bed. I'm like by like three days that. thing was like curled up next to my. face. I got a [ __ ] up eye infection. >> Yeah. I think it was called epidemic. No, it was called epidemic curado. conjunctivitis. >> It's called [ __ ] in your eye. >> It literally was it. But the do the eye. doctor was like the eye doctor goes I. had only see this is like in third world. countries. [laughter]. >> And dude for 6 months afterwards after. it got cleared up they had to shut the. thing down and clean the whole eye.
practice. >> Afterwards my eye at 10:00 would start. to droop. >> Whoa. >> Cuz the white blood cells would rush to. my eye. So I would be out dude for 6. months after this thing had finally. cleared up because it was viral. They're. like there's nothing you can do for it. I would go out, my eye would just start. drooping. I'd be like, "I'm I gotta go. home. [laughter] I gotta go home." Your. alarm. >> I would feel like I had [ __ ] said, "Yes." I feel like I had [ __ ] sand in. my eye. Highly contagious, severe eye. infection caused by adino virus. Typically types A 81 1937 cause rapid.
onset of red, painful, watery eyes, often with light sensitivity, blurred. vision, and swollen eyelids. Whoa, >> dude. I would wake up in the morning, my. eyelid was it was stuck together, and I. have to pull it open. And then I saw the. movie Ray. Remember the beginning of. Raid when his eyes get all globbed up? I. was like, "Dude, am I going blind? This. would suck.". >> That would suck if you got blind from a. cat's [ __ ]. >> [ __ ] suck, dude. >> Bro. >> Yeah. But. >> a friend of mine has shingles on his. face. It's crazy. His whole face is all. swollen up and he's worried he might go. blind.
>> He has it now? >> Yeah, he just got it. He's an older guy. and he just got it. >> What is shingles like when you don't get. chickenpox and it like comes and gets. you afterwards? >> I don't think so. I think it's a a form. of the herpes virus. >> that uh affects older people in. particular. Older people are terrified. of it. They get shingles vaccinations. and [ __ ]. >> Um is that what it is? >> I thought chickenpox was herpes too. >> Oh, really? >> I always heard that if you don't get. chickenpox as a kid, you might get. shingles as an adult. My uncle got. shingles and he said it sucked.
>> Uh known as herpes zoster, a viral. infection that causes a painful rash. It. stems from the reactivation of the. virella zooster virus, the same one. responsible for chickenpox, which lies. dormant in nerve tissues after the. initial infection. So after you get the. infection, then you can get shingles. >> Oh no. >> After chickenpox resolves, the virus. remains inactive in the body's nerve. cells. Factors like aging, weakened. immunity, or stress can trigger. reactivation, leading to shingles, most.
commonly in adults over 50. Yeah. Yeah. My friend is like in his 60s. That. sucks, dude. >> Yeah, that's rough. >> A lot of older people are scared of. shingles. >> Yeah, I remember my uncle got it and he. like he was he was. >> Is the shingles vaccine effective? Does. it prevent shingles? Is that one of the. legit ones? >> It says vaccines like shingris shingris. reduce risk significantly. Antiviral drugs shorten outbreaks.
if started early. Oh, you got to get on. it right when you see the first bump. >> Suck, dude. Somebody knows kids got MRSA. from swimming in one of those. >> Dude, it was scary. >> We got the pictures. It was just like. bubble. It looked crazy. >> MRSA is terrifying. >> Yeah, >> that's all from people taking. antibiotics. >> Or it was staff. Staff and MRSA. Yeah, it was staff. >> Staff is the more dangerous one. Oh, excuse me. MRSA is the more dangerous. one because MRSA is medically medical. resistant stuff medicine resistant.
>> So, this was just staff. So it was like. a giant bubble on their hand. It looked. It looked crazy. >> I've had staff. I've stabbed it a couple. times. >> Oh yeah. >> I got it from jiu-jitsu. A lot of people. get it. >> Yeah. It's real common. Like um a lot of. people get it and they don't even. realize they have it until it's too like. Ari had it. And he didn't even know he. had it. We were playing pool once and he. was limping. He was walking around. I. go, "Why are you limping?" And he goes, "I got a spider bite." And he was doing. jiu-jitsu. I bought him a year of. jiu-jitsu for Christmas. >> Yeah. >> I forced him to celebrate Christmas. [laughter].
I didn't say it's Hanukkah. I got him a. Christmas present. But uh um I go, "Let. me see." And he rolls his pants up and I. see this bubble on his knee with like a. pus center of it and I go, "We're going. to the hospital right now." He goes, "Are you serious?" And I unscrew my. queue. I go, "You have to go to the. hospital right now?" I go, "Right now?". I go, "That's staff infection.". >> And he was like, "Why don't they [ __ ]. tell us about why aren't there signs at. the gym warning you about?" I'm like, "That's a good point. like you kind of. have to hear about it from somebody.
>> Yeah, >> I found out about it from my friend. Tate. Um, [snorts] shout out to Tate. Fletcher, my homie. We were uh at the. airport once and I had shorts on and you. know I had just like my foot sitting up. like this. He goes, "What's on your. calf?" I had like little pimples on my. calf. I'm like, "I don't know, nothing.". And he goes, "Dude, I think that's. staff.". >> I'm like, "What?" I go, "These are like. little zits. >> You think that's staff?" And he goes, "Yeah, you should go get that checked. out." And I went to the doctor and he. goes, "Yeah, that looks like staff." He. goes, "I'm going to put you on. antibiotics right away and we're just. going to swab it and send it in, but I.
don't want to wait." And I got on it. right away and so I killed it quick. But. I remember the antibiotics, dude, you feel so weird when you're on. them. He's like so tired. >> I hate taking them, man. >> Some guys fight on them. I know guys. that have got staff infections in the. UFC, fought off the staff infection with. antibiotics and then fought on the. antibiotics, which is crazy. >> Yeah, that's. >> I don't know how you'd have any. endurance. >> No, I don't I always feel weird. I I.
also like that they mess my stomach up. so bad. >> Oh, yeah. >> I don't My stomach's just fried every. time. >> Well, my friend Gordon Ryan, that's his. belt up there. Greatest jiu-jitsu. grappler of all time. He has to retire. because he got staffed so many times. that he was taking antibiotics so often. that it [ __ ] nuked his gut bacteria. >> And like he can't hold food down. He. throws up all the time. >> Sucks. >> Yeah, it's crazy. He's been dealing with. it for years and he just announced on. Instagram really recently that he has to. retire. >> Dude, I I got.
>> He can't train. >> That s [ __ ]. >> And he's the greatest of all time. >> and he just he's done. >> and he's 30. >> Yeah, >> that sucks. the like unanimously. regarded as the greatest grappler of all. time. >> And he's that's it. >> Yeah. He's he's gone like 10 years. undefeated, beating the best fighters in. the world. >> Like time off. Can he just take like. five years? >> He's trying. He's done that. He hasn't. competed in a couple of years. He can't. do it. He can't train. >> That sucks. >> It's like it keeps coming back. Dude, I. I had eczema one time and uh it like it.
came up on my it was like on my legs and. it was on my dick and I thought it was. ringorm because it was like a perfect. circle. So I go to the you know I go to. the whatever urgent care and I'm like. yeah I got [ __ ] ringorm and they're. like that's weird. Usually doesn't go on. there but they're like just put [ __ ]. uh you know lot or I think when I. >> Yeah. like Lotin that [ __ ]. >> So I put Lotin on my dick and it just. dried like the whole thing. It was like. uh it was disgusting. >> So then I had to go back to another.
urgent care and it was like the second. or third time. I just showed like a. [ __ ] shriveled flaccid like chapped. [laughter] red penis. I showed this one. nurse who goes like I don't know. Calls. in another nurse and I'm like [ __ ] All. right. She comes in. I don't know what. that is. I call in someone else. I'm. like oh a third nurse. Giant black guy. comes in. I'm like no. no no no. [laughter]. You know, he's gonna laugh as soon as he. leaves, >> bro. He was probably I can't believe. Yeah, I I It was It was bad. And then.
finally, I went to I finally went to. dermatologist and I Dude, you can look. it up. The Center City Dermatology run. by just like a babe. Like, it's on the. website. Everyone knows this. Who has. ever gone there? My friend, I was. talking about it one time. My friend was. like, "Bro, I know exactly what you're. talking about." She comes in, checks it. out, and she's like, "Dude, you had, you. know, that wasn't even ringing." And. then she gave me this cream and it like. cleared it right up. So, I had to show. like my [ __ ] like chap like le it was. like a leprosy bro.
>> That's whoa. >> Yeah, dude. >> That's just. >> She saw me at my worst, dude. >> Hilarious. >> So, I had to show it to like four. people. It was like a leprosy penis. And. then eventually she was like, "Oh, no, dude. Take like it was like a corttooid. Cleared it right up.". >> I know people that have had eczema that. went on a carnivore diet and it went. away. >> I can't have I can't have gluten. That's. the thing. I was I'm I've been allergic. to gluten for a while and if I kind of. backslide on that it's like I'll get. little eczema flare-ups. >> A lot of people are allergic to it and a. lot of people don't think it's actually. the gluten. They think it's actually how.
they um finish the crops with. glyphosate. >> I've heard about that. >> Yeah. Which kind of makes sense because. like why are all these gluten. intolerant? What? Nobody heard about. those in the 70s. >> No, >> there was no one gluten intolerant. >> No, it was dude weird. The weird thing. is my mom, she's always been a health. person. She got this book. She had. health problems and like it was might. have been in the 80s. My aunt was a. nurse, gave her this book, and my mom. self diagnosed gluten allergy in like. the 80s and everyone's like, "You're out.
of your [ __ ] mind. Like nobody has. this blah blah blah." And yeah, and then. like when I was in college, I was like, "Dude, like I like I feel like my every. time I swallow food, it feels stuck in. my throat. My I have like gas. I'm. burping. My stomach's [ __ ] up. I'm not. sleeping." I was having like racing. thoughts and [ __ ] and she was like, "Oh, try not eating gluten for a while.". Dude, it cleared it up like big time. It. was insane. >> I wonder if that's the same with like. gluten that you get in Europe where. they're not using any glyphosate. >> No, that's what I heard. You can eat. apparently you can go eat it, you know, in Europe and it's fine. I remember I.
took a test finally and it was like I it. was like one of those like internet. blood test things and I came up like. allergic to not even the gluten. It's. like glidian which is like another. protein inside of wheat which I don't. know if it's at the same thing or what. It's just like an allergy to it. >> I showed I showed it to Shane. He it was. like it was moderate and he goes. moderate. You're a [ __ ] [laughter]. Have a pizza. I was like [ __ ] why did I. show you? He was always like everyone's. like it's fake. It's in your head. You're full of [ __ ] So I finally have.
proof. I'm like, "What are you going to. do about it now?" He goes, "Modderate, pussy." [snorts] And like, "Fuck.". >> It's one of the worst intolerances to. have cuz the food is so delicious. >> Like, think about it. Spaghetti, lasagna, bread, >> sandwiches. >> I don't I And you eating the gluten-free. bread is like not is not at that point, you just go like, I'm not eating bread. It's not really good. In order to make. it good, you have to put so much [ __ ] in. it that you're like, I might as well not. eat it. I I've been off gluten since I. was like 21. >> Wow. And then anytime I would like. backslide at a restaurant where they.
cook with it and stuff, it would, you. know, [ __ ] me up. Weirdly enough, though, if I get enough sunlight, I it. like my I can tolerate a lot more stuff. >> I guarantee that's a vitamin D thing. >> I I think I don't know. It's weird, man. Every time I go to a doctor, they're. just like, "Bro, I don't know. I don't. know what to tell you.". >> Well, vitamin D is good for your immune. system, and these are autoimmune issues. It makes sense that they would kind of. be connected somehow or another. Yeah, because I I couldn't eat after the. gluten. It was like then I couldn't eat. dairy and then every time I'd get. sunlight, I could eat the d. It's. [ __ ] weird. >> How nuts is the sunlight thing? Like for.
so long people are saying stay out of. the sun. Sun's going to kill you. It's. crazy. >> And now now they're going, "No, no, no. You need to get in the sun or you're. going to die.". >> I know. [laughter] I know. I know. >> What's the new We got the new food. pyramid now. >> I know. Well, a lot of people are so. angry. They're so angry at RFK Jr. for. flipping the food pyramid. But there's. so much evidence that this is the. accurate way to eat. This is the way. people are supposed to be eating. It's. like whole foods. Like actual food, like. vegetables, meat, fish. Like that's what. you're supposed to eat. Like actual food. that people have been eating for.
thousands of years. That's how you're. supposed to eat. >> Dude, I that's the one I That's the. stuff the backlash against him that I'm. like I don't get it, man. It's like. getting like the weird [ __ ] out of foods. that they don't have in Europe for like. schools and stuff. And it's like. >> that was always the leftwing's position. It was like no preservatives, no. additives, natural foods. >> I know that. And that's the thing, too. Like I I love like cuz I have all these. food allergies. So, like I got to go to. like a hipstery kind of like rainbow. flag restaurant. That's the only place I. can eat from. So, I'm like, I know you. guys like this. Why are you pretending. to not like getting rid of like Red 40.
and all that [ __ ]. >> Because it's connected with Trump. because RFK Jr. is a part of this party. or part of this administration. And so, it became a political thing. People are. just so silly. They'd rather commit. suicide. >> They'd rather poison themselves than. admit that he's right. >> It's insane. Just be like, "Dude, just. give him one and be like, all right, that's actually a good one." But it's. that that resistance to recognizing. maybe this person that I don't agree. with because he's connected to this. other person that I don't agree with, maybe he's got some good points.
>> Maybe if a person that was like someone. that I aligned with ideologically had. the same points, I would be like, "Yes, thank you. Yes, these preservatives are. terrible. Yes, these dyes are terrible. Yes, this is bad for you. Yes, you. should have warning labels. Yes, other. countries have banned these products. Why do we have them? Yes, >> dude. And especially like if you have. kids, it's like, dude, you worry more. about that than like your kids not. eating a bunch of crazy [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> It's like, dude, just let it go. You can. be like, "All right, like I don't like.
this, but that's [ __ ] I like that. Let's let them cook on that." And it's. like, >> well, so many people that aren't. religion don't have religion in their. life, they worship science. like science. it they they treat it as if this is like. a doctrine and a dogma and if you don't. support it you're a heretic like there's. something wrong with you. >> It's like well do you know those people. these scientists? Like a lot of them are. [ __ ] severely compromised. They're. compromised by financial incentives. They're compromised by academic. incentives. They're trapped in these.
systems where you're you're you're. forced to have group think. You have. this top down control. The people that. at the top are controlled and connected. to these pharmaceutical drug companies. They're pushing these ideas. Like this. isn't all clean. They're hanging with. Epstein, too. And [laughter]. >> I know. Is that crazy? >> You love scientists, man. Thank god I. wasn't a scientist. Is. >> that weird? It's so weird. >> That's so [ __ ] creep. Yeah, it's And. the science [ __ ] is like, cuz I do know. this from going to masters. I know you. need to understand statistics. You need. like a very serious understanding of.
statistics to actually make sense of. those studies. And I I never was able to. do that, but it's like you can read. those studies and like, oh, look at. this. It's a graph. Everything's going. up. And it's like, yeah, but like. >> what was like the percentage of the what. this and and it's like statistics is for. real like magic to me where it's like. it's so slippery and weird and like you. can make one thing look this way and. it's you can arrange the data in a. different way and you're like, "Oh [ __ ]. the [ __ ] thing went up and now this. is better." It's like, well, that's what. pharmaceutical drug companies do for. sure. They'll they'll run multiple. studies and then throw out all the ones.
that show no efficacy. >> and even hide dangerous side effects. They hide them. >> Yeah. I think they're allowed to do as. many I I remember reading a book at on. anti-depressants like years and years. ago and I think they were allowed to do. as many studies as it needed to like. show basically what they wanted to say, which wasn't even good. It was like 50%. We had a um a lawyer in here that had. he'd worked on cases with pharmaceutical. drug companies and one of the things. that he said that was really crazy was. he found out that the pharmaceutical.
drug companies don't when they get. peer-reviewed when their papers get. peer-reviewed they don't have to give. the data to the scientists. They give. their review of the data to the. scientists and then it gets peer review. >> Damn. >> That's [ __ ] up. >> It's like rigged. >> Yeah, that's crazy. >> So rigged. Remember the study that was. like if you drink one glass of wine, you're going to be healthy? >> Yeah, >> that was complete [ __ ] That was. made by a body of science that was like. promoted by the big alcohol companies. [laughter]. >> It was completely false. I know so many. people who were like, "Dude, it's good.
for me. >> Oh, >> I need I need alcohol every day.". >> They were also saying resveratrol. That. was one grape [ __ ] And it's also just. like eat a [ __ ] grape then. >> Well, also take resveratrol. It's a good. supplement. And the the amount that you. get in supplements is like far exceeds a. glass of wine. You have to drink the. whole bottle. >> Yeah. and you're hammered. >> and you're drunk. [laughter]. Your liver's destroyed. >> Yeah, that [ __ ] always threw me off. And. I remember I remember at the time being. like there's no [ __ ] way that's true. No, you hang out more and you're less.
lonely and. >> I think there's something to the. relaxation of alcohol that like at least. it makes you feel better. And I think. feeling better is a part of like having. a better life and having a better a. healthier mind because there's something. about people that are just riddled with. anxiety and thinking about things all. the time. There's a lot of people out. there that are just. >> they don't have the tools to navigate. this [ __ ] up world. And so they're all. a little drinky poo every now and then. Maybe not bad for them. Maybe a little.
just [ __ ] it juice like. >> Yeah, true. If you drop the cortisol at. night time, >> just [laughter] a little bit, little. relaxation. There's a lot of people that. like. >> one of the only things keeping them. hanging on is a drink at night, you. know, just a little drink. Just nothing. crazy. You're not getting killing. yourself. >> Yeah, I wouldn't want to take that from. somebody either. >> Yeah, >> I don't want to take that from people. >> That's true. I wouldn't want to take. that. But it is it's just nuts to be. like, "This is actually really good for. you.". >> It's like, well, it's lesser of two. evils for sure. It's like. >> Or would they try to say that like Froot. Loops were healthier for you than ground.
beef? Wasn't that one of the studies? >> Was it really? >> Yeah. Like they had comparisons like. they had a chart like where where things. fit on the healthy versus not healthy. >> That's [ __ ] insane. Well, the old. food pyramid was the best. It was like. cereal, bread, and pasta. That was what. you're supposed to eat like most of your. food. >> You're supposed to be charged on just. [ __ ] like elbow macaroni. [laughter]. >> It was like that was for real growing. up. That's what it was. >> I remember eating. Meanwhile, people in. France, they're eating loaves of bread.
and they don't get fat. >> I know. >> And they're healthy. >> I know. That is [ __ ] weird, man. >> It's We're getting poisoned. >> Yeah. Everyone who comes here from. another country is like, I feel. horrible. >> They have a hot dog and they're [ __ ]. vomiting in a trash can. [laughter]. >> All right, dog. Let's wrap this up. >> Can I uh one more thing? >> Yeah, please. [clears throat]. >> Going around. Uh Wexner's uh deposition. from the oversight committee came out. like the full video did today. And. there's this clip going around that I. don't know what the context is. I'll.
show you. It's [snorts] on the screen. right now. Jo. [sighs]. >> Okay. >> I just want to play it and see. >> It says, "I'll [ __ ] kill you if you. answer another question with more than. five words." Okay. >> Literally done. >> I will [ __ ] kill you if you answer. another question. Okay. >> Answer. [laughter]. >> Okay. He seems like he's joking. >> Seems like it. But. >> he wants him to answer questions. Very. short answers. I keep seeing people. saying you're not allowed to be coached. in a deposition.
>> Oh, that makes sense. >> I don't know if this is. >> I'll [ __ ] kill you if you answer. another question with more than five. words. Okay, that's hilarious that he. thought he could whisper that. That's. crazy. [laughter]. >> That's so [ __ ] up. But what is their. relationship like? They [ __ ] around like. that. >> I can't tell. It's really hard to tell. >> It's hard to say what that is. >> That almost was kind of charming. I'm. like, it's kind of like sweet actually. in some weird way. He's saying his. answers in this are pretty tough. already. I can see he's like, "I had no. idea." They're like, "You stealing money.
from me? ABC reported this 5 years ago.". Like [ __ ] crazy. That's news to me. >> He didn't know that Epstein was stealing. money from. >> That's what he's saying in some of these. clips here. [sighs]. >> We'll see how this where this goes. >> Yeah, true. >> If nothing ever happens, people are. going to lose all faith in everything. >> Yeah. >> If nothing happens from all this, if. Prince Andrew is the only one who goes. down and what if he just gets a slap on. the wrist? He's completely going to get. a slap on the He's not going to like. [ __ ] maximum security. He's not going. to like Oz. He's not going to be in. there like doing burpees and [ __ ] He's.
going to be He's [laughter] going to be. in protective custody. >> He's only in jail for 11 hours. He's. technically out now, >> right? But he's going to be tried, >> right? [snorts]. >> We'll see. >> Well, see, the thing is like I never. thought he'd be arrested. I never. thought that would happen. I thought. like they'd strip him of his friendship. or whatever it is. That's it. >> Banishing him to a and then they they. kicked him out of the estate. I was. like, "Whoa, things are getting. serious.". >> Yeah. I think they saw I think they got. to see the stuff and they're like, "Bro, what the fuck?". >> They must. >> Yeah.
>> Yeah. All right, let's wrap this up. Dude, it's been a lot of fun hanging. club. It's been good times, dude. >> It's been Dude, it's been awesome. >> It's fun watching your act grow, too. It's really funny, man. Really great. And you're where this weekend? >> Salt Lake. Salt Lake City and Boise, Idaho. So, >> go get some tickets, folks. Go see them. Matt McCusker, [ __ ] hilarious. Appreciate you, brother. Thank you. Very. funny. Bye everybody. [music].
