Joe Rogan Experience #2442 - Ehsan Ahmad
Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. >> The Joe Rogan Experience. >> TRAIN BY DAY. JOE ROGAN PODCAST BY. NIGHT. All day. >> Hey fella. What's going on, brother? >> Good to be back, Joe. >> Good to see you as always. >> Yeah. Yeah. This time, this time I have. something to like actually promote. >> Well, you're always promoting. So, I. mean, >> any kind of appearance is sort of a. promotion, right? You're promoting the. the audience gets to see you. >> Right.
>> Right. >> Right. You know, it just it was so funny. because it got me thinking. So I I. started watching Patrice's O Opie and. Anthony appearances. >> cuz there's a list of them on Spotify. >> And what was so funny to me was like. that, you know how they have these like. these group of like mentally disabled. people that they kind of [ __ ] with? >> Obie and Anthony. >> Yeah. Like a carousel. It's like it's. like kind of mean. >> It's kind of horrible. >> Yeah. It's kind of like I'm kind of glad. we're past that. But [laughter]. what made me laugh is every single one. of them at the end of the thing was like.
and here's my website. [laughter] I had. a website and I was like, "Damn, I've. been on the Joe Rogan Experience twice. and I don't even have a website.". >> You didn't have a website? >> I didn't have a website. This is the. first time I had a website. >> Wow. How did What did you do? Did you. make it yourself? >> Uh, no. I f Yeah. I realized like, oh, I. got to pay people to do stuff like that. That's out of my wheelhouse of like. things I can do. Ironically, I'm. terrible with technology for a guy who. looks like me. There's um things you could do like um. Squarespace has a great setup. It's. pretty easy to do.
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. But that's I think that's just. pure it's like pure laziness almost on. my end for sure and a little bit like. >> I spend so much time on my like my brain. space and this is dedicated to my jokes. I don't I kind of shut out everything. else. >> It's a fun time to be alive. One of the. things is really that's really exciting. about the mothership is uh for someone. like me who's been doing comedy for so. long, it's really exciting to watch. people's careers launch, you know, like. see guys like Cam Patterson go from. getting a spot on Kill Tony to being a.
regular on Kill Tony to being on [ __ ]. Saturday Night Live. >> Boom. It's crazy. Like some of them like. uh Christina Mariani now just like sells. out rooms at the comedy store all the. time. >> She's killing it. >> Just And then you have like Payton Ruddy. and like Dylan Carina. These are just. guys who were just at the club and just. made away like social media wise. >> and you get to see people get just. tighter and better like muscer's new set. like we did last night. >> Really [ __ ] good, man. Super solid. Really fun.
>> It's just like we got a good thing, man. It's a good thing. >> Yeah, it's a fun it's just a fun place. to be around everyone just working. jokes. That's what it is really. It's. it's so funny. There is such this. narrative outside of the ship about what. Austin comedy is and it's just really. just a bunch of people just doing jokes. >> The narrative is only with jealous. people. It's it's not based on any. reality. It's not based on people go. there and hang out, >> right? Well, it's it's it's always these. people who love to talk about Austin, but they don't talk to anyone in Austin. It's like there's a bunch of comics. willing to hang out and talk to you.
>> I think I've told you this before, but I. have a friend of mine who's, you know, somewhat of a philosopher, an online. friend. I don't even know what he looks. like. We've been going back and forth. for years, >> but he warned me about this a long time. ago. He said, "You've created a walled. garden." And he goes, "And you've got. all these friends and you're all. supporting each other and you're all. having fun, but there's a lot of people. that feel on the outside and they feel. like left out of it.". >> And so they're like, "Fuck those people. That party sucks." You know, it's kind. of along those lines. And you know, if. you could find some connections to other.
negative things, you know, like me and. Tony, we have this connection to Trump. and so does Shane. And you know there's. there's all sorts of that oh [ __ ] you. got to be a right-winger to be and then. the narrative comes out. Oh, you got to. tell jokes about [ __ ] trans people. You have to. >> you can't be a liberal. You can't be a. this. You can't be like. >> well well that the the whole the whole. like you have to be a right-winger. That's like to me that's like massive. projection because there are these. spaces where like if you're a. right-winger in comedy like the there's. like leftist spaces that you just can't.
be in. >> for sure. You'll get pushed out. you'll. get you'll get treated badly more. importantly. Whereas at the mothership. like that [ __ ] green room like 80% of. the time it's mostly. like progressive people. >> Yeah. Mostly leftwing people. A lot of. people most of the people who work there. are mostly leftwing. It's just Yeah. It's a place where the it's a place. where but because right-wing people I. guess are allowed to be here or like. also allowed to be here. It's it's all. of a sudden this rightwing Nazi haven. >> Well, it's also it's like what does that. even mean? Like what is rightwing? Like.
cuz you don't think that that candidate. and what they were doing by like. storming the [ __ ] gates with illegal. immigrants. You don't think that was a. good idea? You don't think like rampant. spending completely unchecked with no. documentation like what's going on in. California. You don't think. >> you don't think that's a bad thing? >> Tim Waltz is doing I mean. >> it's so there's so much of it man. But. then it's also like, yeah, what ICE is. doing, like [ __ ] shooting that lady. seems kind of crazy, you know? Like.
grabbing people that happen to be. American citizens and [ __ ] dragging. them out onto the snow and ask them for. their papers. That seems kind of [ __ ]. crazy, too. >> Yeah, that seems insane. >> But it's also like they have a crazy. job. Like imagine. you're an ICE agent. Just imagine what. happened. Okay, so we tried we used per. our sponsor Perplexity the other day and. tried to figure out through AI what the. exact number is but when you deep dive. you realize they don't know the number.
they really have like an estimate of. interactions with illegal immigrants and. it's somewhere around 11 million for 4. years which is [ __ ] wild that's 10. Austinans. >> okay yeah. >> at least. >> of illegal legal immigrants were allowed. to get into this country, aided to get. into this country and then moved to. states. They moved them. They flew them. out to certain swing states. Like this. is all Mike Benz's documented all this. stuff. This there's all you you can see.
they gave him EBT cards. Like so imagine. you can imagine two things. One, imagine. you're one of those people. You're like, "Dude, they're asking me to come. This. is awesome. Now I'm in America. I'm. going to get a good job. I'm going to be. able to support my family." And then all. a sudden you have these [ __ ] dudes in. bulletproof vests looking for you on the. streets. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I thought you said it was okay. I. thought the Red Cross gave me a map. >> I was You gave me a [ __ ] cell phone. and now you're hunting me. >> Right now you're just like caught in the. crossfire. >> But now imagine the ICE agents. Okay,
this is your job. Your job is to go out. and find these people. And one of the. things you don't you get about this, it's like because there was like a. recent clip of mine that got like. highlighted where I was criticizing ICE. One of the things that you don't think. about when you're into this is just like. regular police interactions. The ones. that you see online are the horrible. ones. So you think all cops are. horrible. What you miss is the millions.
of interactions that people have with. cops. It's like, "How you doing today, sir?" "Good, sir. How you doing? Can I. see your paperwork?" "Sure. Here it is. Uh you in a hurry. I [ __ ] up. I'm late. for work." You know, "All right, man. Just slow down. Go." Like, "All right. Thanks, brother. Everything's nice.". That happens, too. Like, there's nice. interactions with cops. There's people. that save people from bad guys. It. happens all the time. There's people. that are thankful that they called the. police and they stopped the burglar who. is breaking into their [ __ ] mom's.
house or whatever it is, right? There's. so many more of those, but you're not. seeing those videos. And so with the ICE. thing, what you're only seeing and. you're only hearing about American. citizens that have been arrested, the. lady that got shot, you're you're. hearing about all these negative. What. you're not hearing about is the number. of violent criminals that they've. caught. And it's a lot. It's in the. thousands. It's not it's not like. thousands of American citizens have been. shipped out to other country. No, it's.
like net positive if you look at it that. way. Like the see if you can find out. how many because I know there's probably. going to be a bunch of various sources. that are not totally accurate, but find. out like what are the number of violent. criminals they've caught since they. started doing this. Well, also also the. there is a question on this is how I cuz. I know this is how they recruit some ICE. agents. It's just like their ads on. local TV just offering like.
during the UFC there's an ice ad. >> Yeah. And it's like these are just like. also regular people. How much training. are they really getting? >> Cuz when you watch the shooting video. you're like why is the guy shooting also. recording with his phone? Like there's. no way that's like anything you're. trained to do. >> His own safety like just to make sure. that you could see this lady's unhinged. Is he not wearing a body camera? He's. not a cop, right? So, I bet he's not. wearing a body camera. >> Yeah. >> So, I bet that's why. >> I bet that's why he filmed it. And also,
that same guy, turns out, was dragged by. a car just recently. So, like he almost. lost his life where someone did try to. run him over. He's hanged onto a car for. dear life. I think he got. >> 300 feet. He got dragged 300. >> That's crazy. >> 300 feet is That's a long way to get. dragged, >> right? you know you 100% there's a full. possibility that you may die. >> there's no single public record number. of violent criminals captured by ICE. raids just over the last few months and. available data suggests those cases a.
relatively small share of recent ICE. arrests and detentions. um one analysis ICE internal data said. that only 5 to 8% of the people booked. into ICE detention late 2025 and early. fiscal year 2026 had violent or serious. property crime convictions but even if. it's 8% they've gotten rid of a half a. million people already and then 1.6. million voluntarily deported. So in a. half a million people 8% is a lot. That's a lot of violent criminals. So.
this is weirdly phrased. >> As of January 20, I would say 8% is a. lot. Like if you have cancer in 8% of. your body, I would say you're [ __ ]. You know what I'm saying? Like if. they're saying, "Oh, it's only been 8%. that are violent criminals." It's a lot. That's a lot of people. But now now the. question is are these 8% and the and. then the nonviolent people sent in this. to the same place? >> Oo that's a good question. >> You know what I mean? Because like I do. you do want the violent criminals out. but then I don't want the nonviolent. criminals to be sent or nonviolent.
people who are here to be sent to a. prison. >> Exactly. It says ICE no longer. voluntarily publishes detailed case. level arrest breakdowns by offense type. and independent projects. So imagine if. you're a dude from Mexico that just. walked up here because you wanted a. better job and then they shove you in a. prison. >> and now yeah in some prison. >> and you never did anything bad your. whole life and now you're in some well. the El Salvador thing are they still. doing that? >> I don't that that I that I don't know. >> that that was a bad.
>> that's bad optics. >> Yeah. I mean this there's a lot of. optics is the optics with ISIS been. terrible. It says, "Recent enforcement. has involved thousands of arrests. nationwide, but available analysis. consistently indicate that only a small. minority of those is that in italics?". No. Uh, is it not? Is it? >> Maybe. >> Weird, right? >> Looks a little funky. >> No, no, it's not. >> It's just that's that's perplexity. showing its bias. >> [laughter]. >> small minority of those, that's a tone,
of those in ICE detention, arrested by. ICE in late 2025 and early 2026, have. violent criminal convictions. Most have. no convictions, but when they sang small. minority, they indicated previously that. that's 8%. That still means a lot of. human beings. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> That's a lot of violent human beings. Like if you uh could sign a piece of. paper that said that uh you know we're. going to allow a bunch of people into. this country. Most of them have no.
violent convictions, but about 8% of. them are monsters, evil sociopathic. murderers, drug dealers. 8% is a giant. ass [ __ ] number, >> right? >> That's a giant ass number, right? >> The real problem is that they have to do. this. This is the real problem because. the Democrats did what they did. They. did a crazy thing. They opened the. border up and told people the border was. open and then let people and then when. people tried to stop them from doing it,
they used court orders. Like what was. that thing they did down in Texas at the. border? >> Oh yeah, cuz Abbott tried to put up some. like wall or something. >> They said you can't stop this. >> Yeah. >> Which is what? Wait a minute. You can't. stop people from breaking the law. Like. what are you saying? There's a method to. stop this and you don't want it stopped, >> right? Because the dirty secret is the. census doesn't count citizens, counts. everybody. It even counts illegals. So. if you live in a community that's half.
illegal aliens, you get way more. congressional seats from that district. than if you are in a community where all. those people don't count. They said that. I think they said that California if the. census did see if we can find out what. the number is, but if the census did not. count illegal immigrants in California, I think they would lose a shocking. number of seats, >> right? >> Which is kind of crazy. You're rigging. politics by moving humans into place.
>> Yeah. Well, you got to you got to you. got to do something. I I it's a very. something that no one really talks about. a lot is like the Democrats every single. minority group shifted right in 2024, >> right? >> Every single one. And no one really is. like actually trying to figure out why. that's happening. They're like, "Well, if we just import more people, we can. overcome that deficit.". >> But they could they could if if it was. successful, they could overwhelm the. political process. they could make it. just like it's California forever where. you get half the people are like.
massively disgruntled and so confused. about the politics but they're stuck. there. >> and that would be the whole country. >> It would essentially be that kind of a. thing and then they do what they do in. England and what they do in Canada was. they slowly start clamping down on your. rights, >> right? >> And England starts arresting people for. social media posts. Well, I you know I I. hopefully that the free speech stuff is. so ingrained in our who we are as a. people because England like at the end. of the day that it's not like that. country was built on that principle. This is says that they would only lose.
two house seats. >> It says um can uh California would lose. I called it Canada. It was like Freudian. would lose uh an order of one to two. house seats if poss if people in the. state without legal status were not. counted in the census used for. appointment based on recent expert. simulations. >> All right. What's the Here's the thing. like how many illegals are in. California? Let's find that out. Like. what is the estimated number? Put that.
in there, Jamie. What's the estimated. number of illegals in California? I. don't know where I'd be without this. kind of [ __ ] now. >> I'm so hooked on using like perplexity. for any question I have all throughout. the day. It's like my smart friend. >> It's like better Wikipedia cuz it can. really like you can use it as like. >> way better than Wikipedia. the entire internet. And sometimes it. does catch some [ __ ] articles in. there. It says it might be this and. you're like wait a minute what let me go. to that article that might be [ __ ]. because it's only pulling from the. internet right.
>> undocumented 2.8 million in 2007. That's. well yeah that that would be around two. seats right because there's like 30. million in California. >> something like that. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That makes a difference. And then you do. the same thing in Seattle. You do the. same thing in wherever you know places. you have massive numbers of undocumented. people. Cal um uh Ohio is a big one. You. know this is one of the reasons why they. had this thing where like why are there. so many Haitians in Ohio? Well, >> what do you think? M I think they just.
decided Ohio's a spot and they all had a. group WhatsApp chat and they all. [clears throat] No, probably somebody's. moving them there because it's a sweet. state. >> It was it was funny when it the Somalian. thing when uh when Walt was like this is. white supremacy. It. >> was crazy. >> And but it's like hey but but then who's. the most supreme white man in the state? Governor. >> you [ __ ] [laughter]. >> Like that's a crazy Freudian slip. >> But it's also like what a crazy attempt. at misdirection. white white men commit. most of the crimes. >> Yeah, that's part I think I told you.
that's part of the reason why I think. like minority groups are shifting away. cuz it's like one they I don't think. it's something the the whole victimhood. mentality that's not something that. minority groups really. >> experience or like value. >> especially not minority groups that are. immigrants that are in the middle of the. hustle like we got to go to work. >> like we got to overcome. That's the. whole point. Regardless of the hand. you're dealt, you got to just play it. and overcome. And so that victimhood. mentality really kind of pushes people. away from the left I think in that. manner. And then like you know when.
Biden was like you know uh if you uh. don't vote for me you're not black. It's. like that's kind of how they [laughter]. that's kind of how they view the. minority vote. It's a hostage vote. It's. like vote for us or else. It's like no. one likes that energy coming towards. them. >> and they'll lash out and go in a. different direction. >> Such a wild thing to say. >> I mean unbelievably funny. [laughter]. Unbelievably funny, man. >> Oh, it's just I can't believe he [ __ ]. said it.
>> He's so And he said it with that [ __ ]. crazy pulled back face and it's like. this is madness that whatever they did. to him to make him look try to look. younger, which is doesn't work, kids. >> Doesn't work. >> Oh my god. All that. >> we know what you used to [laughter] look. like. You're on TV all the time and all. a sudden you you have a completely. different face. Like your face is. different. Like your all your. everything's pulled back and looks it. doesn't look like anybody normal that's. 80 years old. >> No. All the all plastic surgery ages.
like you look like an alien when you're. old. There's just no way around it. I. don't know who lip fillers are for cuz I. don't know any guy who's like yeah like. I like that look like that much. But. it's it's crazy how they age. >> The facial fillers are crazy too because. sometimes those things become a problem. and then you got to get them removed. Well, now they're doing that buckle fat. thing. >> where they look like ghouls after. >> Why would they do that? Why would they. take fat out of their face like fat? Fat. in your face is what makes you look. youthful. What are those ladies going to. look like when they hit their 60s? >> No, they're going to look like ghosts.
>> Maybe their face will be all sunken in. >> By the time they're 60, I think medicine. is going to be at a level where they're. going to be able to reverse aging. They're pretty close to being able to do. that. They've already done some stuff. with mice and they've they've done some. stuff where they're they're. understanding like what genes are. causing you to have these problems, what. things could be done to mitigate it. And. they're treating aging not like an. inevitable aspect of life, but as like a. disease that you get over time,
>> right? >> Instead of like accepting the fact that. your body is going to age at a very. specific rate and then when you're 60, it's going to suck. When you're 70 it'll. suck worse. Instead, it's like, what's. causing that? Let's reverse what's. causing it. And you know, essentially, if you can do that, and I think they. can. If it's they can't do it now, they're going to be able to do it. Whoa. >> Jesus. >> What happened? Okay, but this is like. day one. This lady just had surgery. >> This popped up on my feed a few times. >> She's 69, almost 70. Holy [ __ ].
>> That lady does not look even close to 69. or 70. Is that true? >> Kind of uncanny. Is that true? Is that. Dr. Crazy? >> He's making it up. SHE'S LIKE, "I'M. [ __ ] 40, ASSHOLE." It just It just. feels like one of those human dolls. >> What did she look like before? >> There you go. >> There you go. There's the before. >> Whoa. That's the same lady, >> bro. That's crazy. You could pick her up. at a bar and then you're like, "Why do. you smell old?" [laughter]. >> God, that's that's crazy.
>> You got that old people smell the. mothball smell. >> Sprayed perfume all over their body. Uh, >> I remember there was this uh episode of. uh that show Autopsy. Did you ever see. that show Autopsy? There there's this. guy Michael Baden and he's a famous. forensic scientist that like examines. cases and says this is actually a murder. and he catches people and one of them. was this guy who was really crazy and. his wife died. I don't know if it was. his wife or a lady he knew died. I.
forget the circumstances, but he kept. the corpse in his house and had. fashioned some kind of an artificial. vagina that he attached to the corpse. and then had cases of perfume. and so apparently the B he just kept. [ __ ] it. >> Is this like an older guy, an older. story? Yeah, it's like some Cuban doctor. and it was like some girl he fell in. love with and then she died. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it wasn't his wife, right? No, it was like it was like in a.
plaster case thing and it was a Yeah, [ __ ] crazy. >> It It had a mask on it. So, it was like. a corpse that was like years old with a. mask on it and an artificial vagina and. cases and cases of perfume. So, this. guy's just [ __ ] covering this thing. perfuming, getting his [ __ ] on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jamie just. >> You got to find You got to find the. picture of it. He even inserted a paper. tube into her decrepit corpse to serve. as a vagina for making love. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's to.
the fake vagina. I think it was uh Yeah, it was like something he made like he. made something. He made a thing to [ __ ]. >> People go through lengths to get their. rocks off. That's crazy. That's like. ingenuity. That's like, man, if you if. you had that energy towards anything. positive, >> you could get to Mars. [laughter]. >> Yeah, you can finish stuff out. >> Find us a photo of the corpse. >> There we go. >> Yeah. So, this is. >> Oh, no. Carl Tanler. That's a different. guy. But he did the same thing. >> Oh god. >> Yeah. Key West.
>> Same thing. >> Mhm. >> Secretly took her body or used French. plaster to preserve her skin, rigged. wires and hangers to support her. skeleton, and then pumped a continuous. stream of perfume to mass the stench of. the scent of decay. Disturbing. arrangement continued for seven years. till was finally discovered by her. sister. Oh god, >> what a horror story that is. >> Oh god. You find your sister's body and. it's just there's a continual stream of.
perfume to keep people from knowing. there's a rotted body up there. Oh god. He did it for years. >> Mhm. >> God, men are [ __ ]. >> Well, yeah. Well, you know, any sort of. like weird predator will end up in that. situation where they can do their thing, right? So like if you like [ __ ] dead. bodies, you're going to be in a corpse. Same thing like there's like a like. female pedophiles just become middle. school teachers. >> That was in the 30s. >> That's what they do. >> Jeez. Carl Tanler. Oh god. And that's. Dr. Michael Badden, the HBO show. That. show is awesome, man.
>> Oh, and he did Epstein's Autopsy. >> Yeah, he did. He's He's one of the ones. that said that the. wounds were consistent with liature. strangulation, not with hanging. >> Yeah. Yeah, we talked about this last. time. >> Yeah. you know. So, so I recorded my. special on the 25th of October and I. have a bunch of Epstein jokes in there. and in the meantime they they were said. they released the files and I was like, "Oh no." But they still haven't released. them and I was like, "Oh, thank god the. joke still [laughter] work." I was like, "Oh my god, thank god." Cuz I have like.
at least two separate times where I. bring them up cuz it was so it was even. bigger back then. >> Well, it's going to go on for a long. time, I suspect. I mean, they said they. released them, but what did they. release? >> No, they're still not all out yet. >> But what did they release? >> Yeah. Like it's weird. The whole thing's. weird. >> It reminds me It reminds me of that. Onion article where they're like, "Oh, CIA release realizes they've been using. a black highlighter this entire time.". Like, [laughter]. >> it's like that. It's like, oh, okay. You. just just blacked out pages. >> Redacted the [ __ ] out of everything. >> Yeah. Yeah.
>> It's like, what did they release? Did. they release something recently? >> No, they haven't released anything in a. minute. They had that initial release. where everything was blacked out and it. was that picture of Winnie the Pooh, which was hilarious. But isn't there. talk about some new releases that are. happening soon? >> Have they? It feels like everything's. been drowned out by everything else been. going on with like Somali the Somalians. and the ICE shooting. It feels like. that's completely drowned out. >> Anything about it? >> I think some of that's on purpose. >> Oh, 100%. >> Yeah. 27 minutes ago. Update story. Federal judge blocked. >> the effort to force the release of more.
files. >> Trying to get that off there. Okay. The federal jud, we said it a. little bit wrong, is the federal judge. blocked the lawmakaker's effort to force. the DOJ to release the Epstein file. So, they're trying to force the DOJ. >> They already were forced to. They've. missed deadlines. >> and a federal judge blocked them from. forcing them to release it. So, a. federal judge said, "No, you can't force. them to release it even though you.
campaigned on it.". >> Yeah. [laughter]. Even though he ran on it, even though. you stood outside that courthouse with a. bunch of binders, we've got it. Got. [laughter] him. >> He ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to. appoint. to ensure that's all. >> Okay, that's a little different. So, the. federal judge Wednesday ruled that he. lacks jurisdiction to appoint an outside. expert to ensure the Justice Department. complies with a law that makes all files. pertaining to the prosecution of Jeffrey. Epstein available for public view. Okay, that's different. Yeah, but still the.
the the law chess that they play to make. sure it still can't come out is pretty. crazy impressive. I don't have the. jurisdiction or anything. >> But if you're a federal judge, you can't. you have to do you can't step outside of. your boundaries. >> Is that don't don't they kind of just do. that sometimes though? >> Yeah, it's not you're not supposed to. just because some of them are unethical. or some of them. >> Right. That's that's fair. >> Yeah, I don't understand all this. So, I'm going to be charitable [laughter]. about it. Yeah, >> I'm going to be charitable about it, but. I just don't understand how anybody can. go to jail for sex trafficking when you.
don't have anybody they sex traffic to. >> Like, that don't make any sense. Like, if I was Gain's lawyer, I'd be like, to. who? >> To who? Like, how did he not do that? Like, you want to tell me there's some. sort of a compromised trial? How do you. not have a lawyer that goes, "Who did. she sex traffic to?". >> Right? That's clearly there's some sort. of backdoor deal that was like, "Hey, >> spend this time in jail and we won't. kill you.". >> Well, how of course or also she's. working with them, right? How do you how.
do you have I mean, in any way, shape, or form, how do you have a person. convicted of a crime when there's like. especially that kind of a crime where. there's a person that hires you or gives. you money or that you use to get. influence from and then you sex traffic. to them. So there's another person. involved and that other person is. completely eliminated from the trial. because what? >> Because they're billionaires. Because. they're heads of state, like they're. powerful enough, >> prominent scientists. What is going like.
how is that okay? That doesn't even make. sense that you could get through a whole. trial like that. >> Yeah. But I I think that's just a I I. was saying this earlier. I think this is. just a function of government. These. like intense like blackmail sex rings. that everyone just kind of gets away. with it. >> Oh, yeah. It seems like. >> it happens over and over again. But it's. like, look at it this way. Like imagine. if you were selling hash, >> right? >> And you had like pounds and pounds of. hash at your house and you've been. selling hash and you got caught selling.
hash. >> And they charge you with distribution. And you're like, "Okay, but distributed. to who?" Cuz you're only selling to like. rich famous people. You're only selling. to like heads of JP Morgan. >> You're selling all your hash to those. guys. And they're like, "Well, who did. he sell the hash to?" Nobody. Somebody. bought $100 million worth of hash. And. there's nobody. You have no no person. That doesn't make any sense. There's no. crime. So, he's didn't really sell it. You could say he possesses it, but maybe.
intent to distribute, but if you want to. get him for actual distribution and. selling of hash, he's got to sell it to. somebody, >> man. >> At least an undercover agent, >> right? But like in this situation, it's. like, did we ever really think anyone. was really going to go to jail for this? >> I feel like with continual constant. pressure, they have to it has to slowly leak out. >> Man, I wish I was that optimistic about. it. I They've They've done a good job of. They've done a good job of it of keeping.
it the names out of the press even after. they said they would leak them. It says. here, "FBI and DOJ records from 2019. reference about 10 individuals described. as an alleged Epstein co-conspirators, including Maxwell and French modeling. agent, Jeanluke Brunell, who died in. French custody in 2022.". >> That's a way to get out of it, too. Be. like, "Oh, he sold she sold it to a dead. guy.". >> Yeah. But it's also, this is not saying. that sold it to them. They're. co-conspirators, so they were probably. involved in facilitating. They're.
probably involved in acquiring these. girls, making connections because that. guy owned a modeling agency. >> So he's or he's a modeling agent, right? Right. So that guy's getting him girls. So he's a co-conspirator. It's not. saying that he was John. You know, he. was a John that was getting the girls. He was a co-conspirator. So there's at. least 10 individuals who were al which. makes sense if you have this giant. blackmail ring. It's not going to be. like one guy, >> right? I also find it funny the whole we. Mark that Mark Epstein guy his just.
brother came out of nowhere for like a. little bit. >> for a little bit and he's like [ __ ] this. like wait first of all what do you mean. a brother that just knows everything. that happened cuz he came out and said. that wasn't like the the the email that. was like oh Clinton or Trump suck suck. Clinton's dick. >> he was like no Bubba wasn't Clinton but. you didn't say he didn't suck someone's. dick [laughter]. like it wasn't Clinton. >> Trump sucked some guy named Bubba's dick. Yeah. Yeah. >> Some truck driver. [laughter]. >> What is What you just show us that a few. of those people were protected by the.
2008 nonprosecution agreement. >> Original federal prosecution. >> That little slap on the wrist protected. a bunch of people. And so they continued. to be protected. Is that the idea? >> Uh that's where No, I don't know if. anybody knows if. >> nothing's better in law than a. technicality. Huh? >> That's [clears throat] a slippery one. So uh what did Epstein's brother wind up. saying? >> He said it wasn't Bubba. And then which. which implied that he knew he knew. exactly what was going on the island the. whole time and is just out and about. >> But he's still saying that Trump some.
sucked someone's dick. >> That's true. [laughter]. >> Yeah. And then he just straight up. disappeared. Where the [ __ ] did he go? [laughter] We. just learned about him. Man, I believe a. lot of things. I do not believe Trump. sucks somebody's dick cuz he doesn't do. drugs. You know what I mean? When. Charlie Sheen was saying he sucks some. guy's dick, like, okay, Charlie was. doing so much crack it was out of his. [ __ ] mind. like that level of power. as a drug at at that point. >> I I mean, maybe. I don't think so. I.
don't know. >> It's a It's a very. Trump to suck a dick. It just doesn't. seem That's a guy who's [ __ ] up on. drugs. It's like when Diddy was doing. it, they were all doing drugs. >> It's a drug thing, right? Unless you're. a gay man. It's a drug thing to go. around sucking dick. So, we're assuming. that Trump's been hiding the gay the. entire Not a chance in hell. What? That'd be the most impressive hide of. all time. >> Also, why would he do that? If you're if. you're open and you're gay, you side. with the [ __ ] Democrats. Like, that's. the move. You would probably do all the.
exact same things when you get into. office. It's all horseshit. >> I had a follow-up question and it does. not know who's in charge of estates. >> It's thinking. Look at this. Look at it. thinking. >> Your [laughter]. your laptop's about to blow up. >> I would stop. [ __ ] drone's about to. hit the building. >> [laughter]. >> The mothership's going to be on fire. tonight when we get there. >> I'm [snorts] so Yeah. >> Jesus Christ, man. It's so funny. It's. like it's it's an attempted cover up of. corruption that would have been. successful in the 70s,
>> right? >> Right. If they had pulled this [ __ ] off. in the 70s and the 80s, >> gone. [snorts] Well, the whole Franklin. scandal. Yeah. They they they killed. that reporter. >> Yes. >> They killed that reporter. There was. definitely some. >> underage sexual thing going on there and. they were like dead. You and your son. That's what you get for [ __ ] around. >> Yeah. >> Look at both of you. >> There have Well, you know, Tucker's. talked about this and a few other people. have talked about this. There's a bunch. of secretly gay politicians. >> Oh, yeah.
>> And then there's probably a bunch of. secret pedophiles as well. >> Yeah. I mean, definitely. >> For sure. There's definitely I like I. pulled that once on Bottom of the. Barrel. Just secretly gay Republicans. >> That was my thing. And then I was like, can you imagine how good that sex feels? [laughter]. Especially after you spent all day being. like, "It's bad. It's wrong." And then. that sex is extra hot. >> Yeah. Cuz you're going against God and. your party at one time. >> Some twink with his Converse on. You're.
[ __ ]. >> Yeah. But yeah. [laughter]. >> And then you go back and be like family. value. Like the that level of. >> I think there's a lot of them that are. putting on a show. A lot of them. They're putting on an act and you you're. never going to get to know who they. really are. And that's why when. something comes out, it's like shocking. Like [gasps]. they're they're all [ __ ] weirdos. They're all weirdos. You have to be a. weirdo to want to run the or you have to. be like this amazing person. >> Like it's two options. You have to be. Gandhi or you have to be a weirdo. You.
know what I mean? >> And speaking of pedophiles, we had a. speaker of the house that was a. pedophile for like eight years. >> That's right. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> A real one. >> A real deal pedophile. >> A real deal convicted pedophile. >> What was his name again? >> Hastaster. >> Hastaster. I think might have been. Hastur. I think so. >> I feel like we should look that up. So, yeah, let's look that up. [laughter]. >> I don't want to be like, "Oh, was like a. nice guy and we're calling it Red, but. Speaker of the House.". >> He was involved in a very big scandal of. it, right? >> Yeah. Dennis Hast. Yeah. It was It was. It was like some Sanduski [ __ ] It was. at a school that he was teaching at.
>> Exactly. Allegations that Senate Scroll. up a little Senate candidate Roy Moore. spent his 30s dating, propositioning, and sexually assaulting high schoolage. girls was shocking, but not without. precedent. There have been plenty of. congressmen who carried on sexual. relationships with teenagers from Thomas. Jefferson. That was back when people. died when they were 18. Yeah. >> Uh Stumm Thurman perhaps more dastardly. uh Illinois rep Dennis Hastard served as. speaker of the house from 99 2007. >> And a little further down an additional.
agreed that Hastard sodomized a fourth. grade boy in a high school in a school. bathroom and threatened him if he. reported assault. That's like Sanduski. stuff. >> Jesus Christ. Since the statute of. limitation had expired on these crimes, Hastard was instead convicted of evading. bank reporting requirements in order to. secretly pay off his victims. >> That's so funny. >> He served 15 months in prison. That's. it. Holy [ __ ]. >> That's so crazy to pay off your victims. and not do it in cash. >> What a lot of money. >> Yeah, that's a lot of money. That's.
fair. >> I bet it was I bet it was quite a bit of. money. >> Holy [ __ ] dude. >> Yeah. And just one kid that got s a. fourth grade boy in a school bathroom. How many more did he do that to? How. many just don't want the shame of it. coming out publicly? How many guys are. struggling with it right now? They're 35. years old. They don't want to tell that. story, right? >> That ruined their life cuz the speaker. of the house [ __ ] them. >> Crazy. >> Crazy. >> Crazy. >> And he So he's not alone.
>> No. >> Right. >> No. >> That's the Franklin scandal, right? There's no way that wasn't uncovered. beforehand by people. Just the way the. political machine works. But that's like. sort of like. >> you get me for this, I'll get you for. this. So you keep that under wraps. You. just have that in your back pocket. >> I think it's just part of that game that. they play. >> Oh, for sure. >> It's like Game of Thrones. >> For sure. It's definitely. >> It really is. It really is like Game of. Thrones. >> Yeah. Wh house isn't like House of. Cards, >> right? It sucks that Kevin Spacy got. busted cuz that show rules.
>> I know, right? Uh, [laughter] but you. know, it was so funny because thinking. back on it, like if you looked. throughout the movies, I my genuine take. before he got busted for this is he. plays the greatest villains. >> Yes. >> He's like the greatest villain actor of. all time. >> He's the greatest creep. >> Mhm. >> He's like a brilliant creep. Like with. darkness behind his eyes. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And then can turn it on the charm that. southern charm for the camera. How about. when he did that [ __ ] weird video in. front of the fireplace?
>> Oh, dude. like in character. Kill him. with kindness. >> Right after right after the witness to. his case died, like another witness to. his case died. >> Yeah. Like. >> dude, people were dropping her like. flies around space either. >> Crazy. Real deal villain [ __ ]. >> Acting out the literal plot lines as the. character being the character while he's. tending the fire. >> Goes to show you can still be a I mean, he's still a genius artist. >> Amazing. >> Yeah. That is like a wow.
>> Amazing. And in any other time, he would. have never gotten caught. >> Mhm. Yeah. That that's just how the. machine worked at. >> Yeah. I mean, he's just one of those. guys that got an immense amount of power. and he was just a dick grabber. Like a. dick. [laughter]. >> And I bet a lot of guys are like, "Okay, that's the problem with wild pitches, you know? You you [ __ ] swing at every. pitch. You're going to hit a few, right?" You know, but he's probably, >> you know, for all these guys that he. grabbed dicks and said, you know, probably drunk, probably [ __ ] up. How. many guys like let him suck their dick?
A lot. I bet. I bet it was an effective. strategy, >> right? Especially for famous in. Hollywood. >> He did it to gay guys. But he [snorts]. was like uh the one guy that the story. broke was a young teenager, right? When. [clears throat] he like 14 or something. like that. >> Yeah, it's. >> And they were working together or. something like that. >> It was It was definitely a minor. >> But it's also like why is that teenager. at a minor with a bunch of drunk gay. guys like, "Hey, where's your dad?". >> [laughter]. >> you know the [ __ ] is going on? What are.
you doing there? But it's, you know, it's not excusing him for doing it. The. thing about people in the gay community. is they look very differently at teenage. boy, gay teenage boy men relationships. >> than we do at like teenage girl men. relationships. They look at it very. differently. Like Milo got in trouble. for that. is Milo on his on my podcast. was talking about this guy that molested. him. He trust me, I was the predator,
>> right? >> That's what he said. [laughter] Like, that's a crazy thing to say. >> But they look at it differently, you. know? >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's uh I I remember. someone was uh I was living in LA and we. had this gay dude who was sleeping on. the uh you know, we had a. uh bed in the living room for guests to. stay over. So he was see he like lived. there for like two months and they were. we were watching Call Me By Your Name. >> and he it's like a it's like a it's Army. Hammer and maybe it's Shalom. I forgot.
I I was in and out. My roommates were. watching it but it's like a about a a. gay story between an older man and a a. younger boy. >> And um yeah he he would he said this. read like he was watching it like oh. this reads like a fanfiction of an older. gay dude being in love with like a. younger gay guy. >> Yeah. It's like a I I remember that. I. remember him telling us that. I'm like, "Okay, that's interesting.". >> Well, I mean, it kind of makes sense, right? Because we think very differently. of like. >> like a high school football player that.
winds up banging a really hot science. teacher. >> Yeah. >> You know, you're not mad. [laughter]. >> You're just like, [clears throat] "This. is crazy. That lady's crazy. She's 35. She's got two kids. She [ __ ] a. 17-year-old boy in the bathroom." Like, >> yeah. >> Yeah. That's I said that earlier. Female. pedophiles become teachers. That is that. is what they do. They find the way. It's. very very very different than the. scenario of like the football coach. that's banging the cheerleader. That's. crazy. Makes you want to lynch him. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's the way it grows. >> That's weird, right? >> It is weird. >> Yeah. It's like Yeah. With with every.
time there is that there's a South Park. episode about it. Every time you hear. that story about, you know, the the the. older teacher [ __ ] the young boy, every guy's kind of like nice. >> Yeah. Well, you know, had the best joke. about it was Zack Alfanakis. He said, "Do you hear the boy died?". >> Yeah. His friends high-fived him to. death, [laughter]. [laughter]. >> man. That live at the Purple Onion. >> Oh, fantastic. >> That was That was a That was a [ __ ].
great special. >> What is he doing these days? >> I have no idea. He He was on that show. for a while in FX Baskets. That was. really good about the clown. Louis. Anderson won the Emmy on it. >> He owns a farm somewhere. He has like a. farm. That's. >> I think he's like he's very smart. Have. you ever talked to him? >> I've never met him. I've never. >> The only time I saw I only time I saw. him live was at Brody's memorial. >> Yeah. He was real tight with Brody. He. He's one of the ways that I found out. that Brody was off his meds. He. contacted me when Do you remember that.
one time when Brody got real kind of. like almost aggressive crazy and was. like yelling at people in the audience. sometime and it got weird. It wasn't. like performance arty anymore. It was. like what's happening with Brody? And. then he got back and he like bounced it. out. What? But Brody had like legit. problem. What whatever it was, whatever. his mental health issue was, like he. needed medication. Like he was he was. legit crazy. >> and Zach contacted me and said, "It. seems like Brody's off his meds, so just.
don't engage with him.". >> Damn. >> Like, damn. >> Damn. >> So, it's like you got to kind of figure. out a way to corral him, get him back on. his stuff, and. But man, when it when he was in that. main room, when he was in that main room. and that what was left of the crowd was. rocking with him, it was just so much. fun just watching him play drums. >> He uh came into the improv one night, we. were doing a later show, so it was like. a 10:00 show and he was on late and uh. the show was kind of petering out, you. know, it does. And at the at the time it. was probably like about half full. And.
then uh ladies and gentlemen, please. welcome Brody Stevens. Brody takes his. shirt off and starts swinging it around. in the air like a flag. He goes through. the crowd. Let's go energy. And like he just gets everybody fired. up. He immediately breaks out the. drumsticks, starts [ __ ] drumming on. the seat and then starts telling jokes. and just changed the whole tempo of the. room. Like everything lit up. It was.
awesome. It was like that's what Brody. can do. with pure charisma and talent. and just personality. >> and anytime I see him like anytime I see. a person in the audience like this all. arms crossed negative that's all I can. [laughter] think that's all I can think. it's like wow you are giving me negative. energy right now for no reason. >> for no reason you're at a show come and. enjoy it you know especially when you. see a because I cold open a lot you see. like like you see people be like why are. you. >> why'd you come here like impress me like.
you're already here just enjoy enjoy the. energy sometimes for people to loosen. up. You have the hardest job when you. have when we do those Joe Rogan and. Friends shows and you cold open. >> I've only cold opened a few times over. the last few years. >> Yeah. >> And it over the last 10 years. >> It's hard. You got to hypnotize those. people. You got to slowly work your way. into the rhythm of jokes. >> Oh yeah. You have to sort of like it's. it's I like it cuz it's energy matching. Like find out where they are, catch on. to them, and then bring them to the. energy that you want. >> You know who's really good at it? Hans. Kim. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. >> Really good at it.
>> It's just straight jokes. Uh-huh. It's. just straight jokes and he's funny. looking, you know, like like he's got a. big smile on his face like he's having. fun. You kind of get into his groove. real quick. >> And you know, he did so many arenas with. me in so many big places and he was the. perfect guy cuz he would just go, "Let. me tell you something about myself. [laughter]. >> and then right away he would take. control of the room." It was awesome. >> Dererick's great at bringing him into. It's fun watching It's fun watching the. different people like their different. cold open strategies. Derek is just like.
getting everybody fired up, excitement, and he's so lovable, you know? So, he's. got again so much charisma, >> right? Yeah. But I it's uh the cold. opening for as long as I I have done and. and my career even pre this club, it's. just it made me I feel like so much. stronger cuz like almost like running. with ankle weights on and then now like. leading up to me releasing the too soon, I was like, "Oh, I was like all these. spots I was getting at the end of the. shows, these were material. This is all.
material that I tested at the beginning. of Rogan and Friends, which especially. at the beginning of the club, a lot of. people were like, "Wait, you're not. Rogan talking to a friend?" Like, they. thought they were coming to a live. podcast, but you know, it took a while. before the shows were like, "Oh, yeah, this is a standup show.". >> So, really, people thought it was going. to be a podcast. >> At the very beginning, there were some. episodes where you had to like introduce. the concept of this is going to be. standup. >> Crazy. >> Yeah. Now it's not like that, but like. at the very beginning it for sure was, but like it was like I felt my material.
was like battle tested. >> Well, it certainly is. I mean, that's. that's the running with weights is a. great analogy cuz I think that's exactly. what it is. >> Yeah. It makes the jokes so much. stronger. >> You know what else is really good for. your act is uh hosting. >> Yeah. >> Cuz you go up so often. Like one of the. things that really helped a lot of guys. at the store was hosting potluck. >> Mhm. >> Cuz you know, you have to there's all. this chaos. Someone just bombed. Something crazy just happened. Someone. just did something completely [ __ ].
insane. You have a chance to make fun of. it. >> Reset the room. >> Reset the room. And there's a comfort. level that comes out because you're. essentially doing standup from 8:00 p.m. to 2 a.m. >> Yes. >> Yeah. Yeah. When when I first started do. uh when I lived in first was a door guy. in Hollywood, Derek was booking the. Madhouse and I would come down and host. the weekend shows. So every day I'd host. from every weekend or two weekends a. month I would host from 5 to 2 in the. morning cuz you'd host the open mic. afterwards. >> and you just host the entire night. It's. a full day's worth of hosting.
>> That's awesome. >> Yeah. It's like it's it's cuz the. opening spots suck but like they make. you better. It's the ones that suck that. make you better. It's definitely well. you realize like where the sloppy parts. of your bits are where like you're. saying them you're like ew right. >> you know like it gets you you're like. right. >> like whereas the when the crowd's. popping and they're laughing and. everything they want to laugh you can. get that through and it'll actually get. a laugh. >> but then when like it's quiet it's the. beginning of the show you realize oh. this bit sucks. >> right like oh I got to bring this bit to.
the garage. >> yeah yeah I got to I got to I got to not. put it up front what was I thinking. >> I got to tighten this [ __ ] up. But it's, you know, there's plenty of. other spots. That's the beautiful thing. I mean, we're running four shows a night. every night. And so, and then. >> and there's so much around the scene. >> There's so much. I was I was telling. someone in LA, it's like, "Oh, if I ch. if I chose not to get up. >> 10 spots in front of an audience member. in a week at the very least, then I. chose that cuz it's so easy. Just go out. and get spots. >> There's so many.
>> people." And like. >> there's around in downtown alone, there's like 12 dedicated comedy rooms. It's insane. Did you see was. [clears throat] it Rapaort that got. kicked off of a show at Cap City? They. canled a show. >> They cancelled. They canceled Rapaort. >> And what? Let me see what the post was. cuz they said something like there's. another big club that will have you or. something like that. Like are they. insinuating that we would have him that. he's racist and we would have him? >> Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. They just assume. they assume the mothership is full of. racist people. They don't. >> Yeah. People But the guy that owns that.
is the guy that owns Helium. >> Yeah. But no, not just that. I think. that's pervasive around comedy for sure. >> It's daunting. They They just They're. pretending they think that. There's no. way they think that. If you just look at. the lineup. There's no. >> Well, no one's looking at the lineup. They're really They're really like, "Oh, Joe and Tony support Trump, so this must. be filled with racist people." That's. what it is. >> What did they say? Can you pull up the. >> Yeah, it has to I mean, >> I think they phrased it in an. interesting way. >> So, >> Austin for Palestine Coalition. >> That's a rapapore is pretty funny.
>> That's a raport. He's done. Cancelled. Thank you, Cap. City Comedy and Helium Management for. listening to Austin and canceling the. racist provocator Michael Rap report. show at your establishment. And so, >> hey, Michael Rapaort, there's a make. sure Yeah. Yeah. That's the the caption. is like. >> there's another club insinuating that we. would take the. >> What is this? This is just Austin. comedy. That's just someone's account. >> It's just someone's account. Yeah. That's when I first moved here. That was. when I that's how I figured out where.
all the open mics. >> But they're not even accusing us. Says. pretty sure there's another club or. large venue space that will welcome you. >> that aren't run by Helium. So, but. there's a lot of places that that that's. not necessarily they're saying us. If. you still want to make a stop in Austin, just let them know most of us here are. friendly and won't use politics and hate. to cancel silence performers. So that. seems like they're kind of saying like, "Hey, Michael, come do another spot. Do.
it somewhere else.". >> I don't think they're accusing him of. that. >> Right. >> Right. That sounds more supportive of. him coming here and saying most of us. are friendly and won't use politics and. hate to cancel and silence performance. >> So that's not Helium saying that. >> I guess he's is he like I I mean I guess. he's outspokenly pro- Israel for this to. happen. Yeah, I'm not paying attention. to that dude because I feel like a lot. of it is needy, >> you know what I mean? There's a lot of. like trying to get attention too hard, >> right? >> It's like.
>> he's like I get you. He's not a dumb. guy. He's got some really good points. But the problem is if you try too hard. and you're doing it all the time, then. the good points miss me, >> right? >> They miss me because you're already. connected to all that other silly [ __ ]. >> Mhm. They're just lost in a sea of like. Yeah. Yeah. which is good and bad depending on. whether or not you want to be taken. seriously, right? I don't want to be. taken seriously. So like if I do UFO. shows or Bigfoot shows, like good. >> Oh, he believes in dragons. Good. [laughter]. >> Good. Don't [clears throat] take me. seriously. Yeah,
>> but when you're talking about something. like Israel and Palestine, I guess, cuz. it said something citizens for. Palestine, like. >> Yeah, it had to have been. I They're not. canceling. The coalition for Palestine. is not going out of their way. >> I had no idea anybody was calling. Michael Rapaort racist. Oh, well, yeah. I don't I I This is the first Michael. Rapaort news I've heard in years, if I'm. going to be honest. >> I Well, I had no idea that like there. was an organized campaign to stop his. shows. >> There must be. If it's happening here, it's happening everywhere, right? >> Has to be.
[cough and clears throat]. Okay. Since early November, our. coalition sent several emails. That's. all it took. [clears throat and cough]. >> No, it says they were ignored. While. employees had privately shared that. they're uncomfortable. Oh, they. privately shared that with. anti-Palestinian hatemonger Rapaort. being hosted. Management seems unwilling. to listen to their community. That's not. necessarily their community. That's just. some people in the community. Raport. [snorts]. isn't just a fanatical Zionist with. political views we disagree with. He's. [clears throat] a racist.
who cruy mocks dead civilians and. children. He mocks immigrants and. supports ICE detentions of people whose. viewpoints he dislikes. Additionally, has a reputation for being generally. disliked by people he's worked with, uh, doxing his political opponents, and has. been accused of working with Fox News to. spread fake propaganda. Okay, this is. like a lot. >> Yeah, this is Yeah. Who wrote this? >> Austin for Palestine Coalition. So, maybe it's just in Austin. Oh, [snorts]. yeah. It said Austin. Yeah. >> And then they got him out of Cap City. >> Yeah. But so, what did it go? Go back up.
to the top of that thing. What is the. original? >> That's it. >> No, no, no, no, no. the original thing. that I read it said uh. he's mocked he's a racist who cruy mocks. dead civilians and children. Is that. true? >> I don't think so. >> You'd have to we'd have to go through. his. >> Yeah, that's the thing. It's like when. you say something like that. >> Yeah. >> You just have to take that for face. value that he does that if you want to. believe that. >> I've never seen anything like that. I. would imagine that if he did something. like that it would go viral, right?
>> Maybe not. >> Mocking dead children. >> Yeah. I mean, yeah, maybe not. May. probably. >> in this day and age. >> Yeah, if he's he's famous enough, for. sure. >> Oh, yeah. Straight up mocking. >> If [snorts] you're mocking Dead Joe, look look at the people that mocked. Charlie Kirk, the the [ __ ] hate came. strong. >> Oh, yeah. They they they all they all. like lost their jobs. >> They felt the heat. Immediately. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. We It is It is like the internet. makes people very comfortable with. putting their initial emotional reaction. out for everyone to see. And it's like.
something something that Derek talks. about. It's like we got to go back to. the times when like people were like, "Oh, you can't post yourself with a red. cup cuz like a job might see that and. you won't get the job." Like that used. to. >> think you're drinking. >> Yeah. That used to be like And now. people are like just full on sketches of. of [laughter] like people dying and like. you see so many people die just. constantly too. So it's like everyone's. just desensitized to everything. >> There's a lot of desensitization. There's a lot of people that also live. in these echo chambers and they think. when they say things like who was that.
one lady that was a she was a CEO. somewhere she had a very high level. position somewhere and she posted on her. Instagram story I think something like. that she posted rest in piss Charlie. Kirk. >> right. >> like [snorts] you were a regular person. with a real job. >> and [laughter] you're talking about a. guy who got murdered and you just wrote. rest and piss on the internet because in. their bubble they were saying that kind. of stuff and they thought it was a cool. thing to say. >> Yeah. your your your algorithm is so. designed to just show you what things. that agree with you, right?
>> So, everyone gets more and more like, oh, everyone believes this. Everyone cuz. everyone around or everyone I perceive. to be around me believes that when. really it's just. >> it's all like half of it's fake. >> Most of it is just some Pakistani guy, >> right? >> Yeah. Somewhere with like a million. >> The new AI where you can. >> just constant. >> No, no, no. the new one where you can be. any celebrity and it looks exactly like. that celebrity. So all your movements, you could be like, you know, Mike from. Stranger Things.
>> Damn. >> And it's super accurate. >> Damn. Like crazy accurate. >> We're getting to the point where like. surveillance videos won't be admissible. in court. Like it's it's going to be. it's going to be up to there. >> It'll Well, it all have to be on the. blockchain. But even that like I don't. understand the blockchain. Do you? who. who knows if manipulated. See, if you. can find that video of cuz there was uh. one performer who did a series of. different people from Stranger Things. >> He did like L from Stranger Things and.
Mike from and it's [ __ ] nuts. It's. the same person just moving their hands. around and talking and they look exactly. like the other person, >> right? So now you're seeing heavily. manipulated content. Like you uh unless. you go out of your way to look for. another opinion, you're just going to become entrenched. in your own opinion. That's sort of the. problem with what's happening right now. is like. >> or entrenched in the opinion that they. want to. >> Yes. they want to promote. You're just. sort of like, oh, you're just being fed.
this constant line of like [ __ ] You. got to do some like algorithm cleanses. That's what like [ __ ] like you know how. they go on juice cleanses. You got to do. that with your algorithm. Well, I think. honestly what you got to do is stay. offline. >> Yeah. >> You're going to get got no matter what. Your your algorithm is eventually going. to catch you again. It's like I'm going. to do a little heroin this time. >> and then next thing you know you're a. full-on heroin junkie again. >> For me, it's like there's so many videos. of people getting killed by alligators. and lions that are fake and they just. look a little off. Like the the lion.
jumps in the car and pulls them out. You're like, "No." You're like, "Something's wrong with this." the way. people react. Right now, the reactions. of people in the background don't match. >> That's what's cuz it used to be you. could see the fingers and the fingers. would be all [ __ ] up, but they got the. fingers pretty down now. >> They're getting better at that. Now it's. like you got to look in the if the. people in the background aren't. reacting, you're like, "Okay.". >> Yeah. >> Like if I was people in the background. react would react to a guy getting eaten. by a lion. >> I guess they could probably fix that. though with a prompt. >> Well, that would be the next generation. around scatter. >> I don't even think it's the next. generation. I think it's just. >> you got to just ask it do a better.
version. Keep correcting it. asking it. to do better, kind of fix this, fix. that. >> Have you ever done that with a video. where you ask it to keep fixing things? It gets overloaded and it just gets. worse and worse and worse. If you ask it. to fix the it's not good at making an. edit on the video you already have. >> Oh, >> so you can be like, let's say you it'll. just generate another thing and because. it's making a video about a video, everything gets [ __ ] up. >> Look at this. Holy [ __ ]. This is crazy, dude. That one looks kind. of AI, but this is like a lot to look to.
a little smooth in the face, >> you know? So, it's probably better for. Do it again. Run it again from the. beginning. >> See, no, the first the first couple ones. might get you. It's one when when one. seems like obviously really fake. >> You know what the thing is, too? I think. it's really good with young people. >> Like him, it looks fake for some reason. >> Yeah. When it got there and but then you. realize they all look fake after you see. one, it looks fake. >> But not that fake. It's just if they did. the lighting a little better, you know, it looks a little too bright.
>> I wonder. But yeah, see, I wonder if our. perception cuz the first three look. real. I wonder if our perception would. change if they put the one of the guy. that looks fake first. >> You feel what I'm saying? Like. >> I don't know because this one looks. real. >> Like that looks like her. >> Like if you just had that one and had. her saying a bunch of things, I would. think it's her saying a bunch of things. >> That's Well, that's [ __ ] crazy. >> We're [ __ ] We're [ __ ]. >> We're [ __ ] man. Anybody who doesn't. think we're [ __ ] isn't paying. attention. It's going to get super. weird. >> Yeah. >> And how much how much of that are they. going to use on us in the news, you.
know? >> Oh, yeah. Oh, it's it's Yeah, it's the. news is the news is already [ __ ] but. it's like I I was thinking about this. the other day, how it's crazy that. because our algorithms are so different. I think this is why everyone gets so. charged over news things now is news is. the only thing we have in common. anymore. Like there's not really a show. that like everyone's watching or like a. set of shows that everyone's watching. Your algorithm sends you things that you. like. So, you're completely disconnected. entertainment wise to the people around. you. >> And the only thing you really have in.
common is. what's going on in the world cuz that's. the only thing that's consistent. >> and your opinions on it. What side are. you on? >> Yes. >> Cuz every everything becomes divided. >> Yes. And you have to have a take on. everything. >> Yeah. Vaccines, food pyramid, Gaza. >> Yeah. Everything has to have a take. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, we were cooked as a. like companies have to do it. >> Yeah. I I've been saying like we've been. cooked as a country. I've known we've. been cooked as a country ever since Ben. and Jerry's had a take on Gaza. It's. like there's no reason for this. >> Yeah. >> There's no reason for this. >> You're a company trying to sell stuff.
>> There's a lot of incentives for. companies to like whatever. What is that. ESG score? Is that what it is? >> What is the score that they give like so. so companies have DEI scores that Yeah. Like and for favorable loans and for. government money. It gets real weird. when you start intertwining the it it. gets real communisty. ESG score evaluates a company's. sustainability and ethical impact, measuring its performance in. environmental, social, and governance. areas such as carbon footprint, labor.
practices, and board diversity to help. investors and stakeholders access. long-term risk and potential. Excuse me. Assess long-term risk and potential. calculated by specialized agencies like. MSCI and substain sustainalytics. scores offering from 0 to 100 or letter. grades gauge how well a company manages. risk in these non-financial areas. influencing reputation. access to capital. This is what's.
important and long-term financial. performances. >> Yeah. So, climate change impact, resource use, waste pollution, energy. efficiency, employee relations, diversity and inclusion, labor standard. So, you're essentially forcing the. company to act a certain way. You can't. do it completely as a meritocracy. You. have to have a representative board of. people, which a lot of people agree. with. None of those people are. exceptional. None of the people are.
exceptional at their job that agree you. should have specific categories of race. or gender replace meritocracy, right? >> No one really good, male or female, black, white, Asian, whatever. No one. really good at their job wants that. >> No. No. Cuz that just gets in the way of. the job. It's like I have to like work. worry about this social score. Yeah. That. >> But [ __ ] off. >> That's kind of what we're like heading. towards, right? Some social. >> Yeah. with Trump in in office. There was. a guy who was a CEO of some company that. was talking about the gigantic shift in.
dealing with the government that had. occurred right after Trump took office. He was like it was instantaneous like. all the restrictions and regulations and. this is one of the problems with. California in particular. It's. incredibly overregulated. So it's really. difficult to do anything which is one of. the reasons why so few people have even. began attempting rebuild their [ __ ]. house. >> There's regulations everywhere for. everything. It's just overregulated. Wouldn't the government buy a lot of. that land or are they trying to buy that. land right now in the Palisades? >> It's I don't think it's government. I. think there was people that were uh.
interested in doing like lowincome. housing and then there was like whether. they were going to carve out things or. not. They're speculators. And there's. that famous video of Newsome standing in. front of the rubble of a burning house. go there's been some discussions. He's. doing that little dance. Remember that? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What a sociopath. >> What a freaky dude. >> He's running for president. There's no. way he's not. >> Yeah. I mean, >> absolutely running for president. >> Good luck, dude. There's You think. there's a lot of [ __ ] fraud in. Minnesota? Just wait till they start.
digging deep into the fraud in. California. It's going to take an army. of people to do. It's going to take a. long time. But look, man, there is so. much money missing. They spent $24. billion on the homeless, and they can't. can't account for it. And didn't. >> Is it true that Gavin knew? Let's find. out this cuz I saw this whole article. about this that said Gavin Newsome. vetoed a bill that would do an audit of. where the $24 billion to the homeless.
went. >> Well, if their goal was to create more. homeless with that money, they did a. great job. They did a great job. >> They did fantastic job. >> The crazy thing is they're literally. incentivized to have more homeless. because the more homeless people they. have, the more money goes, >> which is what and then you see the. salaries of the people that are working. on it. Cole Kolon Noir, my friend uh. that's a second amendment advocate who's. a lawyer. He was the first guy to tell. me about that because he's a lawyer and. he was in San Francisco and he was like, "Why is there so many homeless people. here?" It's like, "Do they need more. money?" Like, is it? And his friend who.
was a lawyer goes, "No, no, no, no, no. This whole thing is a racket. The more. homeless people you have, the more you. have to fund the homeless initiative. And then you have this entire ecosystem. that's built around the homeless, >> right? And it's just money is going to. executives, >> millions and millions of dollars. in. California $24 billion. Okay, David. Spade was talking about it. This really. happened. He blocked bills for an audit. multiple times. Bipart [clears throat]. bipartisan bill AB2903. unanimously passed 72 to0 in the.
Assembly, 40 to zero in the Senate, and. would have forced annual public reports. on where the money went and Nuome vetoed. it. >> Is there no system in the state? Because. it's like if the president vetos in a uh. at a federal level, I'm pretty sure if. the the I think it goes back if it goes. back to the Senate or the House, they. can do a twothirds vote to pass it. anyway. >> I don't understand. >> There is legislative ways to override a. veto. >> This veto. >> federally I don't know. I don't know. about state level. It says Gavin Newsome.
also vetoed similar bills AB272570. and AB2093. >> Wow. M just [laughter]. >> that is crazy. >> Hey, that money's just gone. >> 20 billion plus dollars in missing. homeless money went. That is really. wild, man. That you would veto that that. it passes unanimously and you like, nah, player. >> That's [ __ ] gangster, dude. [laughter] That's pretty much.
>> that's why you become a governor. It's. probably a good move. If you're really. shitty mayor of a place like San. Francisco and you ruin it, better be the. governor. tighten up and stop the. investigations. >> Stop all the [ __ ] loopholes. >> You know that I that's I would call that. good gameplay on Newsome's part. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like look I like. looking at politics from an outside. perspective. That's some good gameplay. right there. [laughter] That is if if. it's a game that's what exactly what you. should do. Great move. >> Yeah. It's a great move. >> Yeah. And now you're and now you sort of. can launch yourself as this anti-Trump. guy and you're like, "Oh, it's it's it's.
trying to get on this pod.". >> The problem is the presidential run is. coming. >> He lies so much. He doesn't remember. that he lied. Like he gets busted on. like he's we've never used the term. Latinx because Latinos do not like that. Latinx [ __ ] You you want to [ __ ]. alienate the Mexican-American community. Start calling them Latin X. They're. like, "Bitch, what the [ __ ] are you. saying?". >> Well, that's fundamentally. >> gendered language. >> Yeah. It's fundamentally against their. language. That's the whole point. There.
are female and male things in their. language. >> It's a gendered language. >> Yeah. Yeah. everything. >> That's crazy. That's crazy. Stop. >> The really crazy thing is, you know, we. were we were talking last night with uh. Jimmy Carr's friend that was there last. night. What was his name? >> I forgot his name. >> I'm sorry. Sure. Fun fun guy. Interesting guy. But we got to talking. about the um the the different people. that lived in America before Columbus. got here and before Cortez got here,
before all these Spanish explorers. turned the entire country into a. Spanish-sp speakaking Catholic country, which is really nuts, man. You know, you. want to talk about colonizing. Like. those people in Mexico, oh, we respect. their religion, their culture. That's. the culture of their oppressors from. just a few hundred years ago, right? >> They lost a hundred different native. languages, man. >> They had so many languages in what is. now Mexico, but wasn't even Mexico until.
1820. >> Like whatever it was, whatever they. called it in the different areas, they. had like over a hundred different. languages just lost in the wind cuz the. [ __ ] concistadors came through. >> Yeah. And and out outnumbered they were. able to do that, >> bro. way outnumbered. Crazy, >> bro. They had 13 musketss. >> Mhm. >> That's all they had. 600 dudes, 13. musketss. They burned the boats and took. over Mexico. >> Crazy. >> Crazy. >> Crazy. >> And then to this day, but here's the. >> It's the gift of gab, too. Able to.
convince Montazuma that they were God. >> Well, they showed up with metal, >> right? They're wearing armor and they're. riding horses. They're like, "This is. crazy. These guys are riding horses.". >> And there's like a famous, what was it? Laline. was like a was like a female Native. American or native to the area who like. helped them take him down. >> Oh, there's quite a few people that. helped them. They were very clever what. they did because there wasn't united. tribes because the Aztecs were. absolutely brutal. one of the uh Spanish. chronicers.
um. some. I forget his name something Diaz but one. of these Spanish chronicers uh before. the arrival of Cortez he was there at. the celebration of the completion of one. of the temples I think it was to noon. and they killed. somewhere between 20,000 as the low end. And 80,000 is the high end. >> 20,000 to 80,000 people sacrificed in a.
4-day ceremony. >> That's pretty gangster. >> So these are the people that were there. So those are not loved people, right? Right. >> So it was really easy for them to get. the other tribes and go, "Hey guys, we. got horses. We got 13 musketss. With. your help, >> we can take them down. >> We could speak Spanish.". >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Caras, that's wild. is a [ __ ] Mexican. word, but it's a Spanish word. It's like. this the language like they had names.
like North American Native American. names, >> right? >> Like one guy was a cacao lightning god. That was his name. Like I I did a whole. bunch of research on these people. because I just got fascinated because. >> one of the things about the Aztecs is a. lot of these like super complex temples, they didn't build them, they found them. >> Oh yeah. We talk about the like they. called it the place where the gods were. born. >> Yeah. These these sort of like. civilizations that like clearly probably.
existed cuz I cuz I this is something. that I think about um is like okay so do. you know the uh the story of the. Akeminid Persian Empire like succession? >> I don't know it in detail but I'm I'm. aware of a lot of it. >> Right. Uh, so you have Cyrus, he has two. kids, Kambisces and Bardia. He splits up. the realm between the two. Kambisces. goes off to conquer Egypt, but he's. like, "Well, Barti is popular, so let me.
secretly kill him and then go off to. Egypt." A magi priest then impersonates. Bardia, takes over. the Akima Persian Empire. He is the. ruler now. Kambises sort of dies on the. way back mysteriously. and then uh Akeid nobleman named Darius. is like hey this is a magi imposttor. kills. Bardia he's now ruling Darius leads the.
Akuna Persian Empire to be as big as it. can be and he's the father of Xerx he's. the bad guy in 300. >> so that's but so but that is the only. official narrative story we have that's. from a first. >> like a f a primary source And the only. reason we have that is cuz Darius carved. that story in himself into a rock. relief. It's called the Bahiston relief. >> So that story is basically propaganda. But then 50 years later gets picked up. by Herodotus and that becomes the story. of the ascension, right? There's no. other primary source on what happened.
there. You just have to take Darius's. word for it. >> Wow. >> Yeah. And that's in the fifth century. And the only reason we know that is cuz. someone carved it into a rock, >> bro. >> Right. Like we're not carving anything. in the rocks now. So if Yeah. [clears throat] So if something let's. say like something happens to the. internet tomorrow and it disappears and. then our civilization just vanishes off. the earth. Couple people survive and. they build a whole new civilization. >> Is all those lines is that writing or is. that erosion? >> I believe that's writing. I haven't.
really. >> go back to that primary the original. original. Okay. >> I think it's writing. >> It looks like kuna form. >> Mhm. And it's the the way it's Yeah. But. that's the only reason we know something. that happened from that time is because. this exists. >> and we have no idea if it's true. >> Yeah. We have no idea if it's true. But. no one's even carving anything into. stone for us, >> right? So this Yeah. Yeah. Look at it. Yeah. >> There's no way. >> How dope is that language? Look how cool. that looks. >> Look how cool that looks. That's how.
people used to write things down, man. >> Right. >> Can AI like find There's got to be some. of these. Like I know there's one from. Easter Island that they can't decipher. Have you seen that one? >> No. >> Graham Hancock explained it. >> And uh what he said was essentially they. the island it was a very small island. They got raided by slavers and they took. everyone except for like a hundred. people and the people that they took and. enslaved. They were the ones who knew. how to read this language and then this. language was lost forever. >> Right. >> It's re there's one piece of like wood.
where Yeah, that's it. >> Where it's written on. Look how dope. their language looks. Like zoom in on. like how crazy is that, man? >> Just like what are they saying? And we. don't know. Like I wonder if they could. throw that through AI and get sort of an. understanding of what these symbols. were. But you'd have to have a base. Like that was the thing about the. Rosetta Stone. The Rosetta Stone really. helped people in Egypt because you're. like, "Oh, this is how it's written in. Greek and this is okay. Now we know what. what it's it's said in multiple.
languages. Now we get an understanding of it. [clears throat]. >> Yeah. But so the the overall point being. though is like in our time if the. internet disappears and we're gone, there's nothing from this time that's. really being recorded. It'll just be. lost. >> Oh yeah. All the hard drive stuff gone. >> Yeah. Just be lost. >> To relearn things. >> Yeah. But our time, the Americans, there'll just be some ancient thing that. people might know not know ever existed. It says about the uh it's called the. rang rangarango rangarango a glyph based.
script from Easter Island remains. undeciphered despite over a century of. study. Imagine you're studying it for a. century. You can't. >> people's whole lives have been dedicated. to this. >> No one knows exactly what it says as all. attempts to translate it fully have. failed and with scholars debating if. it's true writing or protoriting as used. as a memory aid. >> A memory aid. >> Yeah. lines alternate direction often. upside down. Oh, so that's so hard. Even. the direction is ever changing. You're.
not writing right to left. You're just. kind of going wherever you want with it. >> What is the latest on the Voinich. manuscripts? >> Has anybody thrown that through AI to. try to see if it makes any sense? Do you. know about that? >> Yeah. Was it were they found on a guy? Was that one of them? >> No, it's some weird book. And the the. question is whether or not this book is. just complete gibberish and nonsense or. whether it's some lost language. M. >> and where it's it's really detailed too. >> Where was it found? >> It's a good question. I don't remember.
Um published. >> Na'vi cipher. Is that what it's called? Mhm. >> Um, published November 26, 2025 in cryp. cryptologia. by science journalist Michael Greskco. introduced the Na'vi cipher which uses. 14th century Italian playing cards and. dice to encode Latin or Italian text. into glyphs mimicking the voyage. manuscripts voiniches. This cipher. replicates key statistical features like.
gri glyph frequencies, word lengths, grammar rules suggesting a similar. medieval method could have generated the. original 15th century text, although it. does not decode it. >> Wow. Have you seen it? See, you find. images of it. It's freaky. >> Where where was it found? That's what. >> That's a really good question. >> Well, let's find that out. >> Voinage ninja. There's like groups in. dedicated to this. >> Oh, people are obsessed with it. I mean, they've been. >> a fun thing. This a fun thing to be. obsessed with. Um, just do me a favor. and just uh go back to Perplexity and.
say uh how was it discovered? >> Yeah, I'm curious. >> because uh I I feel like someone had it. and someone bought it from someone and. >> I thought I could have been wrong. I. thought it was found on a body. >> I could be wrong about that. I might be. thinking of another thing. >> It was rediscovered in 1912 by Polish. American rare books dealer Wilfred. Voyage. Okay, he named it himself. What. a clever guy. >> I like that. [ __ ] it. Something. something of mine survived, [ __ ]. >> But you They say you died. The second. time you die is when someone says your.
name lasts. So, we're just keeping. [laughter] him alive. >> He acquired it from the Jesuit college. uh in Frascati, Italy as a part of a batch of 30. manuscripts discreetly sold amidst the. Jesuits financial difficulties. How many. of these [ __ ] in the Vatican. are sitting on some [ __ ] that they don't. have to sell? >> Oh, yeah. >> That will like change the world. Carbon dating places its creation around. 1404 to 1438, likely in northern Italy.
Emperor Rudolph 2 bought it in the late. 1500s for 600 gold ducat possibly from. John D. It later passed to Jacobus. How. about this guy's name? Jacobus. Horsiki de Depend. Eastern European stuff that feels. >> deparian. There's some names like Yawana Yonjek. If you saw the way it's written, there's. no way you would pronounce. >> any of those Eastern European names. It's like it's like how did you even get.
that? >> Stayed in Jesuit hands until 1912. >> He publicized the undeciphered codeex. now at Yale's Bicki Bicki Library, sparking global interest despite failed. decoding attempts. Um, pull up some. images of it so you can get see what it. looks like. >> It's real weird, man. It's real weird. And it has uh detailed illustrations. >> of like plants and stuff. >> Oh, here we go. Listen, here's a little. video. so you could see like how cool it looks. when they're opening up the book.
Anything that you're getting that's a. book that's from the [ __ ] 1400s or. where 1200 when is it from? >> 1500. >> 1500s. >> 16th century 1400s. >> So 1400s. Any book that you're getting. from the 1400s is [ __ ] wild as it is. Just imagine these [ __ ] people living. back then writing this [ __ ] down with a. feather, >> just touching it with their bare hands, huh? >> Yeah, you have to. It's actually worse. to do it with gloves. >> Really? >> Yeah. They found out that gloves the the. the rubber is more abrasive. The oils of.
your finger is actually more protective. or something along those lines. >> Wow. >> Look how cool that looks though. And. they don't know if that's a real. language. That's what's nuts. You can't. decode it. This is this is a good this is a good. YouTube rabbit hole. >> It's a good one. Yeah, >> it's an interesting one because people. say it's a hoax, but the thing about it. is if it's a hoax, it's like really well. done and very complex and like. incredible amount of time dedicated. The. >> fact that it's still tripping up people. now. It's like it's all time great hoax.
then. >> Sort of. But think about how many. languages we've lost. Like we just. talked about a hundred languages were. lost somewhere around that in what is. now considered Mexico. Now, you know, think about the rest of the world. Like, here's another instance. Um, mobs of. indigenous people in Australia, the. aboriges, right? >> So, they call themselves mobs and that, you know, instead of a tribe, right? >> And, um, they have mobs that will live 6. 10 kilometers away that speak a. completely different language.
>> and they're all over the place and they. don't have these things written. anywhere. So there's a bunch of their. languages that are just spoken orally. >> and just disappear. >> and they will disappear and we don't. know how many languages there are. Like. my friend Adam Greenree who he used to. own a mining company in Australia and he. employed a lot of aboriges and he knows. a lot about the culture and he was like. dude it's it's the it's the craziest. history because a lot of it is not. written down and there's a lot of. horrible tragedy and genocide attached.
to it. There's a cave that you can go to. where they gave these this mob of. Aborigines poison food on purpose. Like. a whole crew of them. And so there's. like just their bones are in this cave. still to this day. He goes, "Dude, it's. the darkest [ __ ] thing you've ever. seen in your life." You think about this. family and their children. They're. starving. And these people, these, you. know, white people in Australia who are. essentially prisoners that England. shipped over there just gave them poison. >> and just Damn, damn. >> Damn, damn.
>> Damn. That's Yeah. >> Damn. And they got, bro, they got some. crazy rock art. You ever see the the the. glyphs of like alien looking dudes and. Oh, yeah. and [ __ ] And like. >> Yeah. There's like people with like. rocket that look like they're in rocket. ships and space suits. >> What What information? What stories? What is their version of the Bible that. we missed? >> Well, it's they never wrote it down. >> Yeah. There's something to do with a. large flood. That seems to be. consistent. >> The hope he had that. >> Yeah. something to do with a large flood. and something to do with some sort of. either dragon or serpent type.
>> bad guy, >> right? >> Those are those are the two main. consistent things across most cultures. Some large flood event and some snake. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's all. And I wonder. what the snake in the Bible really look. like cuz in in the Adam and Eve story, anytime you see a picture pointed. painted of it, it's painted as a snake. But his the snake's punishment was it. lost its limbs. So, this was a dragon, >> right? Cuz the snake the uh the snake's.
punishment was it has to soothe on the. ground. >> But is that the snake's punishment. forever? Is that like why God did that. to the snakes period? >> I think so. I think that's the whole. that's. >> right. Doesn't that just explain what a. snake is looks like rather than describe. a dragon? >> Like why doesn't it have limbs? God took. away its limbs. >> Okay, that's what you're saying. It's. maybe it's maybe it's reversed. Maybe. >> it seems like it's reversed. Yeah, maybe. I just really wanted to be a dragon. >> Yeah, it [laughter] seems like how come. they don't get to have legs? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> How come you don't get to have wings,
[ __ ] [laughter]. >> You know, because if you really think. about it, like there's so many different. stories. This is why like you know the. view like that was that famous Joy Behar. clip where she said he believes in. dragons. Great clip. >> Yeah, it's so awesome. It comes out of a. conversation that I had with Forest. Galant who's a wildlife biologist who's. like there's a lot of depictions of. these flying serpents and large serpents. with wings. >> all over the world. It's weird, right?
>> It is really weird. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's like a It's like a. thing. >> Really weird. And we know some dinosaurs. flew. >> So there might have been some You think. there's some sort of cross? >> Well, here's the thing. The Congo has. had a legend of some sort of a large. dinosaur-like creature forever to the. point where explorers have made their. way into the Congo to try to find this. thing that resembles I think it. resembles a bronosaurus. >> that could fly. >> No, no, no. That was in the jungle. Like.
so the question is is it possible that a. creature could live for an extended. period of time and then you know maybe. in the 1100s or a thousand years ago or. whatever 2,000 years ago they. slaughtered them all and killed them off. like maybe it maybe they have a long. gestation period like an elephant you. know maybe maybe it's possible they. realized these things were a threat they. knew where they'd end up there was a. small population anywhere and they. killed them off right. >> maybe. it's not likely there's no bones bones.
There's no nothing, but there's no bones. of most things. That's the thing. Most. things that die do not leave a fossil. And then they find things that they. thought were extinct. >> Not just extinct, but extinct for. millions and millions of years. One of. them is the celacanth. You know about. the celacanth? >> No. >> So the celacanth is this crazy looking. dinosaur fish that is unchanged from. god, I want to say tens of millions of. years. I don't know how old, but when.
you look at it, you're like, "Yo, look. at that thing." And then they caught one. once. >> They caught it. Like I I don't know if. it was a fishing net or a fishing boat, but they caught one. And then they. realized like, "Oh my god, these things. are still alive." Like we thought this. was a part of the fossil record. >> Damn. >> And then they they realized that there's. parts of the ocean that we just haven't. explored. And these things and then. they've caught a bunch of them since. And then other fishermen have caught. them. But it's a very deep deep sea. creature that is really ancient. >> And they found they. >> How old is the celacant? Like how long.
has it been around for? >> Man, that's so. >> I hope I'm saying the word right. >> Took so wild to not find one for years. and then all of a sudden you just find a. bunch. >> Well, they found a few. They Well, now. that they know they exist, they're. looking kind of know and they're fishing. in that area and they caught them. But. >> can you show me an image of the. celacanth? Um, oh, I think I there's a. there's a YouTube channel that I think. you'd really like called like I think. it's called AR like it's a it just goes. and looks through what the Earth looked. like in every like in different eras.
>> So that's that freaky fish. >> Oh yeah, I've seen this. >> It's armored. It's got like these crazy. scales on it. It just it looks like a. throwback. >> Um, so three Hold up. Go up. relatives. being the first left seas 385. Okay. Um, so they're not our direct ancestors, but. they're still relatives of beings that. first left the seas. They left the sea. 385 million years ago and became.
four-legged terrestrial animals. >> Damn. And this is like this is like a. common link. So, what they're saying is. there's creatures that left. So, something like that. >> left the sea 385 million years ago and. became four-legged terrestrial animals. from which we sprung. >> and these relatives are still alive. today. So, how long has the sea lacanth. been around? >> Check that. >> Uh 188 pounds. So, they. 38 floating off the South African coast.
in the Indian Ocean. Fishermen from the. Irvin caught an an unknown creature. It. weighed 188 pounds, 5 feet in length, dark blue in color in color, and. unabashedly. chomped its jaws. This was not a fish, not just any fish. It had scales, fins, and limbs, or more precisely, rudiments. thereof. Moreover, there were seven of. them. Two in the back, three on the. belly, and another pair on the head. They had limbs on their head. Whoa. And. >> should we know the local population.
occasionally caught these creatures and. even come up with a name for thema. which can be translated as bitter fish. >> Love that. Just eat it first, find out. later. >> The residents knew that it was nearly. ined inedible. It was consumed due to. the belief that its meat helped to cope. with malaria symptoms. Yo, although it. was possible to make something like. sandpaper from the extremely strong and. bristly scales. So when did they think. when Look at what it looked like. That's. crazy. That's That's wild, >> though. That thing.
>> That looks scary. It looks like a. monster. >> with all those weird appendages, >> right? >> Eventually made its way on. >> Yeah. >> Nuts, man. >> How long ago was that? >> Like, how long did they think that thing. had been extinct for? >> No, you'd have to look that up. >> A different question. >> Yeah. >> Just put up put into perplexity the uh. history of the celacanth. Trying to find out how to spell it. >> Okay, here we go. How old is this.
[ __ ]. >> 420 million years. >> Wow. [sighs]. >> Rediscovered. Damn, bro. That's That's. wild. >> Wow. They thought it had been extinct. for 66 million years. >> and it was just living. >> Whoa, >> dude. To live that long, that's pretty. That's pretty crazy. >> That's incredible. >> Yeah, that's. >> that's incredible. Mhm. >> So this thing that was alive 400 million.
years ago is still alive today. They. thought it was extinct for 68 million. years. Is it possible that there's. something else like that that's on land. like less likely? I think I think ocean. is more likely. >> Well, it's more undiscovered, right? So. >> not just that, it's also like more. protective of environmental change, right? So, it's probably less dependent. on all the like, especially if you're a. sea predator. You're probably less. dependent on, you know, all the plants. growing and nuclear winter that's. happening on the [ __ ] surface where.
everything dies off and the ice age. comes and it's [ __ ]. >> meteor dust everywhere. You can survive a lot of stuff like. climate change. You're not worried about. that really? >> Probably you are, but it's probably. something more things would probably. survive in the ocean, I would imagine. >> Yeah, that makes more sense. Like how. how old are alligators and crocodiles? Aren't they like aren't like isn't like. aren't like sharks older than trees or. something like that? >> Older than trees. >> Yeah. >> Older than trees. >> That's such a mind [ __ ] to think about. Yeah. >> Yeah. There's something be older than.
trees. >> Yeah. And they still are essentially in. the same form. >> Mhm. >> Just [ __ ] swimming, eating machines. >> Apex predators forever. >> You hear about that lady off Santa Cruz. that got the other day? >> No, but I have you read that book about. the the I read that book about the shark. attacks in 1916. >> Oh, yeah. In New Jersey. Yeah. Close to. short where it's like, "Oh, damn.". River. >> Yeah. It went it went in a freshwater. river. >> But they also didn't think sharks were. dangerous at that time. >> That's so great. >> Like that was in that time they were. like there were people like, "Oh, sharks, they're just like sea puppies. They'll they'll leave you alone." That.
was the thought. Part of the reason why. that stuck out to people were like, "Oh, sharks are like dangerous creatures.". >> Yeah. Especially bull sharks, cuz bull. sharks are the ones that can swim all. the way up to like they they made their. way to Illinois. >> D Oh, yeah. Yeah. And they're just as. they're more aggressive than great. whites, right? >> Oh, yeah. They're hyperaggressive, but. they make their way all the way up. freshwater rivers all the way up into. like cold environments. [ __ ] Illinois. had bull sharks in fresh water. >> Just can a freshwater shark is just How.
bad luck do you How much of a bad luck. do you have to be in a river and get. attacked by a shark? It was your time to. go. >> You got your legs dangling out of an. inner tube. >> Yeah. [laughter]. It just. >> and all of a sudden you feel this sharp. pain and you see red in the water and. you realize your leg's gone. >> Yeah. It takes you a second to realize. your leg is gone too cuz it's so sharp. and so Yeah. >> slices through and you don't expect it. >> Jeez. Yeah. Well, yeah. We were not. expecting a shark in the lake. >> and you look down, you see the white of. your kneecap. >> Everything underneath it is just torn. tissue and [ __ ].
>> Yeah. Yeah. They didn't think it was. dangerous at the time. Like crazy. >> That's so wild. It's so all the way up. until 1916. In fact, some people thought. sharks were just something that sailors. made up. >> Whoa. >> Yeah. Just like, oh, this giant sea. creature that'll eat you. They don't. know what they're talking or like this. is just a sea myth. Well, it's also when. you think about it, when people came to. America, cuz there's no sharks in. England. There's no sharks in Ireland, right? They don't have a problem over. there. >> So, when they came to America, >> there was only like we're talking about.
this shark attack was in the early. 1900s, right? >> Yes. 1916. >> So, think about that. There's only like. a couple hundred years of people even. being here, >> right? And that year was like a perfect. storm of like the beach became like an. acceptable thing to go lounge at. >> Before that, it wasn't a thing. >> Even tried to twist it to say that it. was trying to attack the dog, not the. person. Person is in the way. Yeah. Hates dogs. >> Uh what. >> it there are it does lay out certain. things like if you are swimming with a.
dog, you're more likely to get attacked. by a shark. >> Interesting. And it it's like uh. something like a full moon. Like the. moon really regulates sharks emotions. So like more shark attacks happen on. full moons. And so there's certain. things. Yeah. Apparently having the dog. they never attack the dog. >> Really? >> But the dog attracts the something about. how they swim attacks. >> Dogs don't get killed by sharks. >> Not they will attack the person. >> Really? >> Mhm. >> Wow. >> Something the book lays it out. There is. something there is like a uh like a.
coordinate like if there are a bunch of. different factors that sort of apply to. that. >> Whoa. >> Mhm. >> I don't think there's anything alive. right now that is you know dinosaur like. but I wonder how long they stuck around. for how long some of them stayed last. crocodiles. >> If crocodiles and alligators didn't. exist like let's just imagine crocodiles. didn't exist. the big ones, the Nile. crocodiles. Let's imagine, okay, no one. thought there was a crocodile. It's. nonsense. And then one day someone got a.
video of one in the Congo. You'd be. like, "No, dinosaurs are real." Right. >> That's a dinosaur. That is a straightup. dinosaur. >> Yeah. It's a giant lizard. That is That. is technically what's left. >> This dude Josh Bowar, he's a bow hunter. and he just killed a world record. crocodile. And I think it was in. Tanzania. I think he actually I think he. might have did it like two years ago. This thing is so big. It's I think it's. like 17 feet long.
>> and it's probably over a hundred years. old. They killed it with a bow. Look at. the size of that thing. >> Oh my god. >> Now imagine if that thing didn't exist. If no one thought that that thing. existed. >> and then you saw that. >> and then you saw that. >> You'd be like, "Yeah, that's a Yeah. You'd be like, "That's a monster that I. saw.". >> Like look at the size of that thing, man. Like if nobody went to Tanzania. ever, if it was just a place that no one. went to and you and then people went. there and they saw that, they're like, "Oh my god, dinosaurs are still alive, right?" Because that's a [ __ ].
dinosaur. Period. Full stop. >> You would Yeah, you'd be absolutely. afraid. >> You can call it a crocodile. Whatever. It's a species of dinosaurs that that. made it. It's still here. >> Like, when did crocodiles first evolve? >> 83 to 95 million years ago. Late. Cretaceous. >> Younger than the cilac. >> Yeah. Crazy up to 250 million years ago. >> Still young by 100 million years. >> Well, it's probably the ancestor that. came to shore and started eating [ __ ]. Right. Right. I mean, if everything came. out of the ocean allegedly.
>> Okay. There is something. So, there's. something that I do. It's like a. gratefulness thing that I do every year. because it's like this is like a big. moment for me in my career. I just. released the special. I'm I'm walking. away from I'm I'm like not working. social media at the club anymore. I'm. like making steps out. So, this is a. YouTube video that I watch every every. time something like sort of big happens. to me or like I'm a crossroads and it's. and it's Have you ever seen it's uh Mr. Rogers Emmy acceptance speech. Have you. seen this? >> No. >> Okay. Can we pull that up, Jamie? And. it's like a three-minute video, but like.
genuinely, cuz I'm cuz I'm going to do. it, too. I want you to do what he says. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's just a quick little. thing. >> Okay. >> Yeah. And I'm I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see it. Yeah. >> [music]. [applause]. >> For giving generation upon generation of.
children confidence in themselves, for being their friend, for telling them again and again and. again that they are special and that. they have worth. It is my honor on. behalf of everyone here and on behalf of. the millions of children whose mornings. you have brightened with your kindness. to present you with this lifetime. achievement award. [applause].
[applause]. Oh, it's a beautiful night in this. neighborhood. [applause]. So many people have helped me to come to. this night. Some of you are here. Some. are far away. Some are even in heaven. All of us have special ones who have.
loved us into being. Would you just take. along with me 10 seconds to think of the. people who have helped you become who. you are? Those who have cared about you and. wanted what was best for you in life. 10. seconds of silence. I'll watch the time.
Whomever you've been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the. difference you feel they've made. You. know, they're the kind of people. television does well to offer our world. Special thanks to my family and friends. and to my co-workers in public.
broadcasting, family communications, and this academy for encouraging me, allowing me all these years to be your. neighbor. May God be with you. [applause]. Thank you very much. >> He seemed like the real deal. >> Yeah. Yeah. Who do you think? >> Nothing ever came out about him. >> Yeah, for real. Right. He wasn't like a. Jimmy Savile. >> I just I'm happy he was the real deal. He really does seem like he is.
>> Who' you think about? >> Oh, do I want to say it publicly? >> Oh, yeah. If you don't have to. [laughter]. >> Oh, you know, family, >> personal people, you know, >> but I, you know, we, you and I in. particular are very fortunate. We have a. lot of people that help us be who we. are. >> Yes. you know, and uh that is like the. one thing that I think we really. highlight. >> at at the club is that we really are all. happy. We really are all lucky and we we.
really enjoy our time together and we. feed off of each other. I I'm I'm so. happy too like the the way this I I. would say this scene is like incredibly. incredibly supportive of each other in a. way that like it's nice I guess in this. sort of new system that we live in too. where like you can just make it on your. own like you don't need like I'm not. auditioning for a spot that like Fuzzy's. auditioning for cuz we're both brown. >> right in the old days. >> Yeah. There's no there's no reason. there's no reason for me to be like damn. I hope he doesn't get this.
>> right. >> you know there's like it's a system of. like oh dude we can all just create and. then help each other. >> yes. >> like piggyback off each other and like. that's it's like such a refreshing. experience to have. >> it really is the rising tide lifts all. boats and that's how it should be. >> and it happens everywhere too cuz like. you know obviously you're at the mother. ship and you see how hard the door guys. there crush but like I go to Sunset and. Sunset has some [ __ ] killers as door. guys now. Especially because like they. came up in this experience where Sunset, you know, famously the ceilings are high.
and like the the room can be cavernous. It can feel cavernous when it's like. tight. >> Mhm. >> And so they come up in a harsher like. mothership, the rooms are set up for. comedy. >> Mhm. >> Sunset, it never happened that way. The. the guy the guy died before he could. make it what he wanted to make it and. Red B came in and just sort of saved it. so he can open at the very least. So, it's like they come up in these harsh. situations and like there's this one. there's this one kid at sunset his name. is well kid is very funny to say he's. the grown man but uh Mumford Davis he.
closes every single uh. um death squad which is like 18 hours. long. [laughter]. So he closes every single one goes up in. front of a tired beat audience and now. he's just an absolute monster. >> running with ankle weights on. >> Yeah. I mean, he's running with the. biggest ankle weights on to go at the. end of that in that room. They're tired. They've been there forever. >> But you think about it like that's how. Kenison came up. >> Kenison was the they that was the. Kenisonson spot was the last spot at the.
O, >> you know, and think about his style. That's screaming, yelling in your face. That's designed to shock an audience. back to life, right? >> Brody, that's Don Baris, that's Brian. Holtzman. like those guys that developed. that act that could just jolt you out of. your complacency. It's kind of by. necessity, >> right? How to just like keep keeping. someone's attention. >> Yes. >> Like bringing it back is just so it's so. impressive. That's what I miss about the.
comedy stores. I I left before I got. past so I never got those like late. night O spots. Those one in the morning, six people. >> just survived. I mean, some of my best. favorite sets I've seen people have are. in those spots where like, damn, you. really made this work. >> Well, sometimes like reality shines. through like they have a real moment on. stage where the comedy is just like. people are like, "Oh shit." Like I. remember Laura Bites had a set one time. and I even posted it. Me and Burke. Chryser sat in the back of the room and.
she crushed so hard in front of there. was only like 25 people in the room and. by the time she was off stage there was. 50 people in the room cuz people were. coming in from other places to come and. watch her set. >> Yeah. When you hear that noise you're. like, "Okay, what's going on here?". >> Exactly. She was just on fire. >> She was killing. >> Yeah. It's like I those spots are nice. cuz it's like you know your jokes at a. certain you have to work your jokes to. get to a certain point where like my. jokes are funny enough to showcase and. work at the club. And now that I'm at. this level, I got the jokes. Now, can I. be funny?
>> Right? >> You know, beyond like what my written, can I be just funny? Me as a person. >> That's you can kind of really hone that. in those sort of late night. >> tough rooms. >> Yeah. You got to do those. >> Yeah. Yeah. And that's what you know, the store at the end of the day, even. through hard and like good times and. tough times at the store, there's a. reason why they always create monsters. >> Yeah. >> The store creates monsters. >> And Mity knew what she was doing. You. know, she had a method to her madness. and she tweaked it and got it to the. perfect form. We essentially use a. similar form here.
>> Yeah. It's it's kind of like the method. to make comedy happen. >> Mhm. >> It's like just people in like these. tough spots. >> over and over again. Can you follow. monsters? >> Right. >> Can you follow monsters? That's the best. part about being at the ship is like. I've had to follow like Theo and Shane. and be like, damn, >> I just got to do this. Yeah. >> And then you and then and then you have. to follow like the emerging stars too. cuz then they have a whole separate. energy to them. Like I remember.
>> following both Cam and James McCann. after they both started like popping and. being like whoa. >> Just watching the energy around them. shift. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Lost to Australia. >> I know. He'll be back. >> He's got to be back. [laughter]. >> He'll be back. >> He's got I can't believe he had to go. back. >> So funny though. >> He's the best. So, >> he's he's one of my favorite guys out. there cuz he's got such a unique like. it's his perspective. It's like you. don't expect it. It's coming out of him. If you think the way he does, you get. it.
>> But if you don't, it's really smart. Really funny. >> High energy, too. >> Like it's it's uh cuz usually this hyper. intelligent go low energy. >> It's very rare that a hyper intelligent. person like who's intelligent on stage. on purpose like that like he is goes. high energy. >> Right. That's uh that's what makes him. unique to me too. >> is because when they're when usually. when comics are being smart on stage. >> and I'll do this too. They go soft. >> They go look at me think.
>> Mhm. >> Yeah. Macan's like I have the energy of. I'm in a bar yelling at you but it's. about Kyrgyzstan. [laughter]. >> You know it's. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. We're lucky, dude. >> Uh yeah. The the. scene is thriving. Yeah. >> Yeah. There's so many places to go up. That's why I did mine at Black Rabbit, just a small little blackbox room that's. been like I've had sets there and it's. like 10 people and they're amazing. >> Wow. >> Yeah. Yeah. They're just they're just.
there for comedy. A lot of them are like. they tend to be like these sort of just. out of college kids who can't really. afford to go to like any of the clubs. They're just they just have money for. the first time. We're like, "Oh, we can. go to this little spot like $10 tickets. just get introduced to comedy." M. >> it's a bit of a younger audience there. >> Well, there's just how many spots are. just on our street? >> On our street? I mean like there's. >> within our street like within close like. >> that you can walk. >> count Cap City cuz it's like one block. over. >> Uh uh. >> not Cap City, I'm sorry. Um Vulcan No.
Um and Sunset. >> Creek in the Cave. Creek in the Cave is. one over. >> In that area you have Vulcan, uh Sunset, Creek, um Velvita, and then. Bulls. These are bars that run it at. least run comedy at least three to four. times a week is Bulls. Um. oh [ __ ] I'm forgetting I'm forgetting. uh one of the places. It's I'm blanking. on it now. So, but Bulls Black Rabbit. Um if you want to count Rosco's in East.
Austin, they're a little bit down the. road, but they're still kind of in the. downtown area. So, it's a nine right. there. Narbar, that's one I was thinking. about. That's 10. Shakespeare's runs it. a bunch and Maggie Mays runs it I think. three times a week. So, there's at least. 12 pretty much dedicated comedy rooms. And that's not including mics. >> That's crazy. >> That's not including mics. Just in the. area. >> When you say mics for people who don't. know, you mean open mics? >> Yeah. Just open mics. >> You're talking about booked clubs with. professional comedians. >> Yeah. These are shows with people and. like there some of them are rough bar. shows, but they are shows and they're.
booked. >> Wow. >> Yeah. And there's it's you can get on. you can there's so many ways to come up. Oh, you can walk. You can walk. I've. I've had nights where I've had five sets. and none of them were at the mother. [ __ ]. >> Wow. >> I'm just You're just out and about. >> Yeah, it is. It is. So, and it's just. different people getting up in different. places. It's each each of the each. different place has their own ecosystem. of comics who you know cuz you you go. you go what where it gives you what. gives you time, right? >> That's where you always that's the right.
way to go no matter what. >> Just whatever is feeding you go. That's. where you go. So there's different. ecosystems in each places and it's just. it's really it's really fun and you just. get to see people like man just figure. it out and it's and it's fun to watch. and they'll figure it out on the podcast. end. They'll figure it out on the comedy. end and then it'll all sort of works. together. >> It's got to be extra dope for you too. because you were an early. settler. >> man. I got I feel like I got to the gold. rush in 48. [laughter].
I feel like cuz cuz when I got here. there was only three. It was me, Hans, Kim, and Derek, and Dylan. Dylan was. eight years in, but those were the only. four of us that were like not famous. headliners that weren't new comics. basically, >> right? >> So, we got to just do so many shows cuz. the there was no middle class. It was. all it was it was like California. It. was all upper class and all like. [laughter] lower class. It was very that. Now, now it's robust. Now there's just a.
bunch of killers that are like just. moving here all the time. There's this. guy Nick Murphy moved from Atlanta. >> What year did you move here? >> Uh 2021. >> Okay. >> I moved here early. I got on a Zoom I. got on a with Dylan Sullivan. We were I. used to play this uh I used to play we. used to play game nights during the. pandemic online with our friends cuz we. weren't allowed out, right? And so he. pulled me aside one day on Discord and. was like, "You got to move here." And he. made the pitch. >> And then I was like I was pretty much. there and then Derek moved here and he.
was like, "You got to. >> And this was just when we were doing. Shows of the Vulcan. This is just shows. of the Vulcan. This was just but it was. indoor shows, man. And so I I moved here. and then I was like cuz the the way I. looked at it was like look either I'm. going to. like LA's going to reopen and I'll be. working at the Comedy Store again and I. we'll have at least gotten up in that. time and gotten paid to go up because. they they paid they paid for every spot. here, right, >> if you're booked. So it's like at least. got paid. >> and so I was like and then I'll go back. to LA with [laughter] a little glitch. But so so when you came here it was just.
like look I'll get some spots I'll get. paid and if the comedy store reopens. I'll go back. >> Yeah I'll go back and or the club was. still two week two years away from. opening but it's like I I'll stick it. out to the club and see what happens if. it doesn't work. >> Just starting to talk about club back. then. >> right. Yeah, you you would put it on the. universe and that was enough for me to. be like I think he's going to get that. done. And so I took a chance and it and. it ended up working and then I ended up. being one of the first people like. passed through there which ended a huge.
huge blessing cuz now there's so many. killers that it's like hard to get into. mother [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> There's so many like people who have. moved. It's like it's I I almost tell. people like it's a major city in that. way in the sense of like if you can get. good where you are first and then move. to Austin. >> that might be better now than a blind. move to Austin. >> right as an opener as a beginner. >> As a beginner. >> it's hard as a beginner. >> Yeah. >> It's like LA was for a while. >> Oh LA LA is super tough. I imagine New. York is super tough as well.
>> The store was really tough. If you. wanted to go from open mic to actual. spots like bro you got to do spots. somewhere else. Right. >> You really should be better. You're. better off coming there with potential. like you've already gotten a few years. under your belt. >> than like trying to figure it out in cuz. the LA mics are especially brutal. >> The thing is, man, if you guys didn't. come, it wouldn't have worked. Like that. was the thing. It's like the people that. really are responsible for the movement, the the the crazy new scene here are the. ones who came before the club was open. Brian Simpson, Tom Seagura. Sigura was.
here early, man. I told him about it. He's like, I'm [ __ ] moving. M and. then bam. I was like, whoa. And when Tom. moved, I was like, that's a big deal, you know, cuz Tom was already doing. arenas, you know. >> It required a certain amount of people. to buy in. >> Yeah. >> And and that I, you know, I'm very. because of that. I'm very pro Austin of. cuz like, man, if you buy in, look what. can happen. Like. >> Yeah. No one should not be pro Austin. It's funny because Lewis and Tony were. going back and forth and arguing like.
Lewis shits on the Austin scene. This New York versus Austin thing is the. stupidest [ __ ] thing of all time. Like they should both be awesome. Who. cares? >> Yeah. It's unnecessary. It's unnecessary. like in fighting. It's like caddyy girl. fighting. It's like why? We both clearly. can exist. >> in a space where we also help each. other. >> The New York guys are always here and. we're I feel like we're always there. But the point is what what Tony and. Lewis were going back and forth. And. Lewis said, "Well, LA isn't even in.
consideration anymore as what's the best. place for comedy in the country." And. and Tony goes, "Agreed and why do you. think that is? [laughter] What do you. think happened? Where' those people go?". And Lewis is like, "Oh shit." [laughter]. >> But, you know, it's it I will say this. because I was just in LA. I like I like. where the LA scene's at. It's rebuilding. stronger. >> Of course it is. >> It's the store. It's LA. It's Hollywood. It's goes It goes through dips. It's. done it before. When I got there, it was. at a low. When I came in '94, the O was.
half empty. Main rooms never full. It's. always And then there was no big talent. there. It's always like that. It comes, it goes. New people come up. It's. legendary. It's got a vibe to it. It. creates comedy just by existing. >> Yeah. It's like It's still every time. there like, man, this is the [ __ ]. place. >> It's the [ __ ] place, man. That's been. the place since 1970 something. I mean, it's. >> that place is crazy. >> Yeah. You could The building is alive in. that place. That's. >> crazy. Yeah. You feel it. It's like. >> soaked with the memories of Kenison and.
Hicks and Prior. And. >> here's what's crazy. You know the bucket. seats in the back? >> Yeah. >> If you go during the day, they might. have repainted the wall. So, this is. when I work there. But when you go. during the day, cuz I'd get there early. and like write or whatever, and you can. look where the bucket seats are, the. outline of all the heads cuz of all the. oil of the people leaning back was just. there. So, you were just there and it's. just the energy of all these great. comics just in the room with you. >> Ah, >> yeah. It was it was it was an.
interesting place to like be during the. day cuz you could feel it. >> Very special place. Very special place. You never get to take away from that. But the thing is, it's like it should be. and it will be even better than it used. to be, I'm sure. >> But the point is, it's like denying that. Austin is an amazing scene is just. stupid. >> Yes. >> It's just stupid. And also, don't you. want another great scene? Do Do you want. a limited amount of options for. comedians? Don't you want more comics. and more comedy? >> Right. And more places for you to end up.
performing. >> Yeah. Shut up. >> Like now Yeah. Now you can go to Austin. and spend a couple weeks there and get a. lot of time and learn how to talk to. people here. >> There's so many [ __ ] in this world. [laughter] There's so many [ __ ] And. those [ __ ] never get anything done. They just sit and [ __ ]. and this and that and this and that and. this. >> Nothing ever gets done. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> They never progress. >> Yeah, man. Just video essays. I. [laughter] watch I watch all the video. essays. >> That's so funny. Watch. It's just so. funny to me cuz they all start They all.
the the the whole concept that Austin is. ruined comedy is very funny to me. >> because there's so many comics that are. blowing up outside everywhere all the. time. >> It's just silly. >> It's like my friend said, it's a walled. garden. >> That's what it is. It seems like the. people are having too too much fun and. if you're not there and if you don't. have aspirations to be there, you feel. bad about it. >> When I lived in Boston, the store was. like Mecca. Like people would talk about. it, you know? It's like you had to make. the pilgrimage to the comedy store. It's. one of the first things I did when I. came to LA. >> Oh, no. It's a big deal. The first time.
you go there, I remember looking at it. being just the feeling in my heart. >> The first time I went there, I hadn't. even moved there yet. >> I went there just to watch. I told them. I was a comedian from New York. I'm. like, "Can I go and watch a set?". >> I'm like, "Yeah, sure." And they they. let me come in and I sat in the back and. watched and it was like. >> Bo acts. >> It was terrible. It was really bad. It. was a bunch of cruise ship acts, like a. bunch of guys who had the same act from. the 1970s. They had never, you know, those dudes that like you'll see them at. the store occasionally now that have an. act from the 80s. Well, these dudes, it. was like a decade earlier.
>> Yeah. When when I worked at La Hoya, there was one guy that they booked that. they had like some some deal with Mitsy. that he got to perform once a year at. the La Hoya. And man, you could just. tell, man, it's been. >> You haven't changed this act since the. 70s. >> Yeah. They just never evolved. And you. know, and they weren't getting spots. when Kenisonson was around. The place. was packed. >> And then Kenisonson left. >> and then he had a billboard. He put a. billboard right in front of the the uh. comedy store of his new album that was. coming out. Like. >> why did he leave the store?
>> I don't know. He probably did something. stupid. Okay. I think he definitely uh. fired off a gun cuz remember he shot the. uh. >> the bullet hole is still there. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I heard they fixed the the sign though. >> No. Uh it's bad. >> They fixed the plastic. >> I Yeah, they might have. I think that. the plastic was falling apart, but they. kept the bullet hole cuz the bullet hole. is still there. >> Okay. >> Yeah, I went I went and looked. I made. sure. >> Pretty crazy. >> The kid bullet hole is like part of the. thing there. Yeah, >> but the cracked glass was also part of. the thing. >> Yeah, but I think eventually it just. fell apart. It's been like 40 [laughter]. years since that happened.
>> I mean, that might have been what got. him banned. Not sure. >> But then he was banned and then uh when. I came it was 94, so he was already. dead. He was dead and Hicks was dead. >> So it was weird. >> Okay. And so that was that's where the L. was from. They were just kind of missing. that top level guy. >> There was a lull. And guys would. occasionally drop in to work out um but. they didn't put their name on the. marquee. No one ever knew they were. going to be there. Like Chris Rock would. come in and work out. Damon would come. in and work out. >> But the big comics that were there like. Domrero would stop in. There was guys.
that would stop in. But then it was. mostly us younger guys. Holtzman was a. big part back then. >> I can't imagine Holtzman as a young guy. >> I mean me and him were only a few ages, a few years different. >> It feels like he's just looked like that. since he was a throwback. He looked like. he was from the 1950s. >> when I met him in '94. >> Yeah. >> Like slick back, dark hair, >> right? Always the best. Always a nice. guy. >> Yeah. Oh my god. He's the sweetest guy. in the world. There's something about. guys who are like that on stage are. always super sweet off stage. All cuz.
they like truly get all the venom out. >> It's like William Montgomery. If you. watch William Montgomery on stage, he's. a raving lunatic. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That picture. >> Oh wow. >> Look at Holtzman to the right with a. suit on. >> Oh my god. And Paulie. Who's next to. you? >> Look at that. Freddy Sodto. >> That's Freddy Sodto. Damn. >> Yeah. Boy, that was probably like 96. >> Wow. >> Crazy. Crazy. >> That Brian does look the exact. [laughter] same. >> He looks the exact same. He had jet. black hair.
>> and uh he would look at he's looking. >> You know what he kind of looks like? There's. >> that's his head shot. >> There's this guy on Instagram where his. whole his whole thing is just he. pretends to be a greaser. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. But like unironically [laughter]. that's is kind of what he looks like. But his it's really funny because all. his all his comments are just like, "Yo, show us that hog." Like that's that's. become the So he does like greaser [ __ ]. and then all the [laughter] comments. like, "But how come where's the hog. reveal?". >> Why is hog?
>> Yeah. It's become a like so unironically. trying to be a greaser that the that the. comments came up with their own sort of. culture around him. >> So it's kind of mocking him. >> Yeah. They're kind of mocking. They're. all kind of making fun of him, but he's. genuinely trying to be portray this guy, this greaser guy. It's like Mike the. Greaser or something like that. It's so. funny. >> Well, Holtzman was just I thought he was. going to blow up, man. I really did. I. was like, "Oh, this guy's going to be. [ __ ] huge. This guy This guy's going. to be gigantic." There was a few guys. back then that I was like, "That guy's.
going to be big.". >> You never Did you ever see Mike Rick? >> No. >> The early 90s, Mike Rick was great, man. >> I don't know what happened. I don't know. what happened with him. It's so. >> I don't even know if he does comedy. anymore. >> Yeah. It's so in like it's so easy. People fall off all the like it's like. because it is brutal. The game is. brutal. >> It can be. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. But you have to have something. brutal outside of the game to keep you. centered. >> You should do something else that's also. difficult for me. It's obviously working. out. That's a big part of what keeps me.
sane. I think it's important for mental. health. The people that are the most. mentally unhealthy and unstable that I. know all have no control of their body. None of them exercise. They don't eat. well. They eat terrible food. They take. medications and they're all [ __ ] up in. the head. And then little things can. send them off a deep end. Once person. makes a mean tweet about them and a. couple people pile on, they want to jump. off a building, right? >> You know, there's a bunch of those. people out there. And I think like with. the pressures of this job, you have to.
for your own sanity, you have to find. some sort of an outlet. Find some sort. of a thing. >> or like take a walk. >> That too. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's so. >> that'll help, but should be something. that's a little bit that you exert. yourself. >> Well, that's like I was like that's a. good place to start if you're one of. these people that like don't do like. >> a simple walk can really get the ball. rolling on. >> Don't jump right into CrossFit. >> Yeah. From a nothing couch to CrossFit. >> Yeah. just be outside and like smell the. air and be we're so cuz like does your.
phone send you the screen time updates? >> What do you mean? >> Like so my phone will send me like a. weekly like this is how much you spend. on your phone. >> Yeah. For me it's like damn this like a. full-time job that I'm spending on my. phone. It's like. >> it's disgusting and I have to just. remind myself like oh the reason I feel. bad is cuz I'm on this. >> 100%. I'm on this and I'm consuming a. fake reality. that like I think one of the most. dangerous things that the the phone like. the online existence does is is it calls. like people like call their fans and.
stuff a community and it's not really a. community. >> Your community or it has to be people. you see in person. It can't be this. online possibly fake fan club basically. >> Well, it can't certainly can't be a. large percentage of your interactions. with people. That's nuts. But I mean. there is some sort of a community that. you kind of cultivate by interacting. with people on social media. It's just. at what price, >> right? >> You know, and at what and then how much. are you doom scrolling other than. interacting with people and having like.
semi positive experiences communicating. like sharing ideas. How much of it is. just doom scrolling, >> right? >> For me it was a it was a lot and so I. backed off it heavy. So I still spend a. lot of time on YouTube though my. distraction time is almost all YouTube. M no my I'm a doom scroller. >> Yeah because you get caught. You see one. thing and you're like it's so easy to. just do that. >> It is but I don't want that because it. makes me feel weird. But YouTube doesn't. make me feel weird. So if I watch some.
really cool video on, you know, ancient. history. >> or something. It's I never feel bad at. all. I'm like, "Oh, that was cool." Like. I don't I don't don't come out of it. with any negative feeling. I just come. out of it like, "Oh, that's interesting. >> I learned something." YouTube is like. the modern television now. Oh, it's. [ __ ] phenomenal. >> That's the one. Just you just find some. There's people making high quality. things. Sometimes I'll get caught up in. things that I don't even care about. >> Yeah. >> Like the uh I don't I'm not like a huge. horror movie fan. I like movies, but but. I found this one one page called.
Nightmare Movies, and he just explains. his favorite horror movies, and he has. like great voice, and I've watched like. all of his videos. Zero interest in. watching any of the movies. I'm. interested in watching him react to the. movies. >> Really? >> Yeah. Yeah. What's really dope on uh. YouTube also is these little short. horror movies that people make on their. own. Like real super low budget but like. really interesting ideas. There's a ton. of them, man. Right. >> Some of them are [ __ ] great. They're. really cool. They're like 8 minutes. long. >> They're 2 minutes long and they can just. get you. Yeah. >> Yeah. Just so much entertainment. I like.
watching people make furniture for some. reason. >> I really do. I love watching people make. like live edge tables and [ __ ] And. >> I don't know. >> Yeah. It's just it's just so it's just. like, "Oh, this tickles me.". >> I like watching people cook. I like a I. watch a lot of cooking. >> Well, it's it's so it's so like you can. everyone's entertainment so like in. their own lane that you can come across. a video be like 8 million views and. you've never even seen it. Like true. virality is tough. >> Like in the future, are there going to. be even like A-list celebrities like.
that? >> You know, like or like it's going to be. >> there's going to be less and less like a. like what would you describe as like an. A-list celebrity? Right. Correct. Everyone has their own sort of lane. >> Well, there's more celebrities now than. there ever have been before. For sure. There's more, let's just say, famous. people. There's more people that are. known than ever before because of social. media. Like, think about all the. streamers and YouTubers and. >> Oh, yeah. Austin, huge streaming scene. It's insane. Yeah, it's insane. >> So, there's that. So, that muddies the. water because like you go back to like,
let's go back to like 1960 when Paul. Newman was a superstar making movies. How many [ __ ] Paul Newman's were. there? >> Right. Yeah. >> Was there 10 on Earth? Like if you. wanted to make a big movie, you got. Marlon Brando, Paul Newman, you know, you have a few people. >> like a star on Sydney Sweeny's like. level now, >> right? >> Back then, that would be a name to sell. movies. >> Mhm. >> Now, like there's movies that she's in. that people don't watch, >> right? >> And that's like what like an A-list. celebrity is now. It's like the you. there's so much stuff you're competing.
with. >> There's so much content just period. I'm. always watching a new show. There's. always a new show and they're [ __ ]. great. There's so many great shows. >> Yeah. Or not even just random Instagram. accounts. Dude, I watch this guy. Sandwiches of History. [laughter]. >> All he does is he finds a sandwich book. from like some of them from like the. early 1900s and just makes a sandwich in. them. >> Is any of them good? >> Some of them are amazing and some of. them suck ass. Some of them are like. some of them are like depression era, you know what I mean? It's like bread. and sawdust or whatever, you know, like.
[laughter]. But some of them are some of them are. like, "Damn, that's like a good. sandwich." And I just watched this guy. eat sandwiches and be like, "This is. this is a this is a great use of my. time.". >> Making an orange peel sandwich from 1921. here. >> 1921. So you take orange peels, you mix. it up with mayonnaise, and you spread it. on bread. >> Let's see his face. >> He always He always goes, "I'll give. this sandwich a go." He has like a. catchphrase. >> I'm all about it. >> H Okay.
>> It doesn't look like he likes it. It's a terrible idea. That's a terrible. idea. Orange peel sandwich the [ __ ] out. of here. >> Well, that's what people ate. >> Starving. You're starving. You eat an. orange peel sandwich. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> The sandwich was made by a guy was in a. hurry, right? Wasn't that the idea? He. just threw some [ __ ] meat in some. bread to eat it all together. >> Yeah, I think so. And then the people. were like, "Wow." Was his Wasn't his. name sandwich? >> He was like the Earl of Sandwich. I. think it was a sandwich place. Yeah. >> As I'm saying that, is is that real. though? Is that just like. >> Didn't we We've definitely searched this.
before. Isn't there an Earlo sandwich or. is that like a. >> No, there 100% is, but it's also like a. store. And I'm just like I'm like, is. that even maybe just like a silly myth. that. >> I'll tell you what, if it if the. sandwich didn't originate with the Earlo. sandwich, what a mighty coincidence that. is. [laughter]. >> What a real deal. >> Earl of sandwich. [laughter] What is the. origins of the term sandwich? >> I'm stuck looking at the Earl of. Sandwich. >> Okay, so the Earl of Sandwich exists. That's all. >> But just put into perplexity, what are. the origins of the sandwich?
>> [laughter]. >> I'm pretty sure it was like a military. guy. Yes. And he was like, "Fuck it. Just give me the bread and the meat. I'll put it together." And he cut the. bread open, stuffed it in there. Cuz I. think they used to just eat bread and. eat meat. Eat bread. They just ate bread. by itself. They were too stupid to. combine. >> them. Yeah. Yeah. Very autistically, keep the food separate. >> 18th century England named after John. Montigue, >> the fourth oral of sandwich. >> Ah, one is the earl of sandwich. [laughter]. during a prolonged card game in 19 in. 1762.
>> Oh, that's right. He was gambling. That's right. Now I remember. >> Oh, well, now that gambling's so [ __ ]. massive now. What cool food is going to. come out of that? >> That's hard to hear. All the fast food. Uber Eats will deliver it right to your. table. Allowing him to eat without. interrupting play. The practice creation. popularized the handheld meal among. England's elite. There it is. >> Oh, that's so funny. It used to be an. elite food. Oh, so looks like the Romans. had it before. >> It says similar concepts predated.
Montigue, uh, such as the Roman of which. involved meat or cheese between bread. slices. That's a sandwich, >> right? >> They just didn't call it that. >> Huh. >> They finally had a name that stuck. >> Is there a current Earl of Sandwich? >> I bet there is. >> Yeah. >> Imagine if he's gluten sensitive. That's. what I was digging through was this, but. I didn't get any good information from. it. >> Well, now we know. [laughter].
>> Yeah. You want to talk about places to. eat? Austin has an amazing. [clears throat]. [ __ ] selection of places to eat. >> during the during the day. The night. leaves a little. >> Yeah, >> there needs to be there needs to be a. late night diner. >> Well, we were talking about that last. night. Like when one of the things I. really miss about LA is the Jewish. delies like Caners. >> Yes. >> We used to go there after the club. We'd. leave and we'd go to Caners and I would. get a pastrarami reuben with steak. fries. >> Oh my god. Have you ever had a pastrami. Ruben from Caners? Yeah. >> Good lord. >> That's what you get at Caners. That's.
>> Good lord. It's good. >> Yeah. >> I mean, it might be the best pastrami. Ruben on earth. It's right up there with. Cat's Deli in New York City, which is. maybe the king. >> Oh, I've never been there. >> Oh lord. Cat's Deli in New York City is. [ __ ] legendary. First of all, you. have to you get a ticket when you get. there. I don't even know if they accept. credit cards. You might have to pay in. cash. >> Oh, I like that. >> You get a ticket when you get there and. you can't lose your ticket. If you lose. your ticket, you got to pay like 50. bucks because you take that ticket and. on that ticket they write all the things. you get. So, you go up to the counter.
and they're like, "What can I get you?". And these guys that have been [ __ ]. chopping meat since the 20s, you know, and they'll slice you off a couple of. pieces of brisket, slice you off a. couple of pieces of pastrami, and you. get to eat it while you're there, while. you're waiting for your sandwich to be. made. And you know, you tell him what. you want and he pulls the [ __ ]. pastrami out and starts slicing it up in. front of you. Steam's coming off of it. He's piling it on that rye bread. You're. like, you can't wait. And then he gives. you a couple pickles in there. And then. you're like, what else you want? And. then you move down the line like I got.
to order fries. You get order of fries. I want a root beer. And then you get to. the end and they put it all on your. ticket. And then when you leave after. you've eaten, then you bring the ticket. up to the counter and then you pay. >> Ah, okay. Yeah. So, it's food. [clears throat] plus accountability. You. have to. >> little [laughter] bit. You have to keep. track of stuff. >> It's a weird old system. So, nobody pays. attention. So, everyone loses their. [ __ ] ticket if you're from out of. town. If you've never been there before, you're like, "What the ticket? What what. happened? How much is it?". >> It's a It's a way to It's a way to scam. the tourists a little bit. It's like a.
tourist fee, not a scam. >> Well, I just think it's how they used to. account back then and they just never. changed it and it's kind of the charm of. the place. They got this weird thing. Show Show me some Caner sandwiches, son. >> Show me some of that. We were we uh my. when I was a door guy, we were big. swingers guys. That was the that was. >> cats. Show me cats. Cats is. >> that was that was the that was the the. diner we went to. But like. >> Swingers was great. That was a great. diner. That was a great diner. Really. good food. And that was open pretty. late, too. Look at that, son. Are you. [ __ ] kidding me? [laughter] Look at.
that pastrami with Swiss cheese. Oh. lord. >> That's so good. >> And they pile it up high. And they've. been doing it that way since the [ __ ]. 1800s. Yeah. >> How old is Caners? >> 1888. >> 1888. >> Jeez. Yeah. >> 1888. Look how good that looks. Oh, [laughter]. >> you can see how she's pulling it like. that. The flavors. Oh, >> yeah. See, this is what this is what. Austin is definitely missing. >> Yeah. >> We need They need something late night. Something that we can all where you can. go and hang out and like.
>> Now, I had heard that someone was. opening a cat's deli in Austin, >> right? But I don't think it's Cats Cats. Deli from New York City. No, it's just. called Cats Deli. Cats never closes. >> Oh, coming soon. Hold on. Go back. >> Coming soon on Sixth Street. How far is. that from us? >> Well, we're on six. >> It's on West. >> It's on West Six. So, it's like near. >> It's taking over our current spot. >> Yeah. >> What's that? >> It's taking over us. Like I think. there's like a bar there or something. now. >> Oh, okay. >> Yeah. It's kind of near where.
>> opening in the same location as the OG. Cats is operated for 32 years. So, it's. way down by Jay Carver's. >> Yeah. Yeah, but this says. >> But that's not that's a 5minute drive. >> Yeah, that's You can walk there from the. front. We've do that. We do that all. time. >> Cats never closes. >> But that was August 18th. Has there been. any news since. >> Is it open? >> Yeah, it's No, no, no. It's going to. take a year. >> Oh, it's going to take a year. >> Oh, they're building it out. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Whoa. >> There's a few places like that that are. just they got the name out and it's. going to be open in a year and a half. >> So, was there an original Cats never.
closes or is this a new. >> That's the one that's that that's where. it was. It closed in 2011. >> So, they lied. >> No. What do you mean? [ __ ] closed. [laughter]. >> Yeah, cats sometimes closes for 15. years. >> By the way, I would have never allowed. them to use a K for closes. Like, guys, [laughter]. >> we're not kooky. >> Stop. Yeah, you're crispy cream. >> Yeah. Why are you doing that? >> Um, so expected in 2026, maybe 2027. >> Mhm. Okay. Well, hopefully they Yeah, cuz that's that's the big hole right now.
in the Austin game. >> Look at it, though. This is it. New. Yorkstyle deli menu with sandwiches like. Reuben's. Dayong breakfast breakfast. dishes like waffle egg sandwiches and. blinses. Entre including pork roast and. meatloaves. Oh my god, it sounds. amazing. Open 24/7. >> Oh, that'll be it for us. That'll be it. >> Finally. Finally, cuz that was the big. hole. Outside of that, Austin has like. amazing food. >> We should help them. >> But yeah, after after 10 p.m. it gets. rough pickings around here. >> Yeah, let's blow them up when they open. up. >> A lot of halal carts, which I wouldn't.
expect in Austin. That's such a funny go. going through there. I wouldn't be like, "Oh, halal carts would be a good way to. get late night food.". >> Entrepreneurs. >> Yeah. >> Dude recognize the need. >> Yeah. There's the only the only things. you can get. >> Oh, there's Golden Tiger. That's great. They're open pretty late, right? >> They're open till like you like 1:30. >> Yeah. >> That's pretty late. >> That's pretty good. >> The Comic Life, you're like out at 2. >> I know. Looking for food at 2. >> Yeah, at 2. And you're like, "Well, I. thank God the the Mexican hot dog carts. people are here, right?".
>> Yeah. That happened recently that they. started showing up on. >> Yeah. There's always smart people that. capitalize. >> Mhm. >> Cuz there's always I mean there's so. many people walking around drunk, >> right? Just looking for stuff. >> Especially Sixth Street. You got a taco. truck, you kill it. >> Oh yeah. >> On Sixth Street. >> Oh. At 2:00 in the morning, all the. [ __ ] zombies just. >> And there's that road when you go up to. seventh where when you're headed towards. uh Creek, there's a whole parking lot. that's got a bunch of food trucks up in. there. >> That there's a there's a place my. favorite place is called Diddy Dog. They. got bulgogi fries.
>> Oo, >> bulgogi fries. >> Bulgogi fries. >> Isn't there a really good cheeseburger. place over there, too? >> Um, yo, yeah, there's the yellow. burgers. They're pretty good. But for. me, downtown, if I'm if I'm eating. downtown, I'm eating the bulgogi fries. >> That good, huh? >> Oh, yeah. There's a They're a lot. So, you can't I can't get them very often. now that [clears throat] I'm older than. I'm like, "Oh, I have to take care of. myself." [laughter]. >> But when I first moved here, I was on. that bulgogi fried diet, son. >> It's kind of insane how many great. restaurants there are here, though. It's. like. >> Oh, yeah. The numbers nuts. >> Yeah. Just good. And good casual eating.
places, too. >> It's like you can really Everyone who. moves I call the when you move to. Austin, there's the freshman 15. >> Just from eating here. >> Just from eating here. You just get it. And then after you live here for like 5. years, you get I think you just get so. tired of brisket that you can't look at. it again for a while. >> I I eat so much brisket that I only go. now and like out of town people. >> That's funny. I could eat it 24 days. >> out of a month. I'll take six off. >> Oh, no. No. I love it.
>> Yeah. Sometimes they the the the Terry. Blacks will come to the green room and. I'll be like, I can't look at this, right? >> Oh, no. >> This is like day three in a row of Terry. Blacks. Not to complain, but it is. >> Terry Blacks has those beef ribs, dog. >> Beef ribs are insane. >> I do describe it. I had You got to take. every tour tourist. It's like the. Disneyland of Austin. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's a line that moves quickly. You can see how everything's made. >> And it's a [ __ ] huge place. They they. I think they're like the highest volume. restaurant in the country. >> Really? >> Yeah. Yeah, I think in terms of like. brisket and barbecue and stuff like I. think they were telling me that I forget.
what the exact statistic they told me, but it was like the volume of food that. they serve there is like as high as. anywhere in the country. >> That's that makes sense. It's always. there's always a line there. Giant line. >> Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and they always move. quickly, so they're always getting. people like in and out. >> Well, you can only eat so much. Like. when you sit down and eat barbecue, you. ain't sitting there for 3 hours, [ __ ]. No, >> you can't. >> No. And you also always get more than. you can eat. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You always like, "Yeah, cuz it. looks so good up there." And then like. the second you have like their. cornbread, you're so full. What the [ __ ].
is that? >> Especially those beef ribs, man. They're. so rich. You can only eat like so much. of it before you're like, "Oh.". >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I No. Not before a. show. That's always a That's a mistake. that people make, >> bro. Last time we had a whole group of. us, I made the mistake of sitting next. to me and I was in the corner [ __ ]. looming over me with conspiracy theories. like Kurt, you got to stop. >> trying to enjoy these ribs. You got to. stop. >> I don't know if it's just the Terry. Blacks in Austin cuz I know they have. one in Dallas, I think, too. But, uh, it.
says 18% of America's brisket is served. by them. >> 18% of America's That's so much brisket. >> That's crazy. [laughter] Mexico is a fun. one. in the green room. He said, my. favorite is when he'll be like, "What?". I thought this was common knowledge. >> You don't know. >> Yeah, you don't know. There was There. was something he said in the green room. the other day about like Morgan Freeman. and some deep conspiracy about Morgan. Freeman. And we're like, "What the [ __ ]. are you talking about?" It's like, "Well, I thought this was common. knowledge." It's like, "No, no one knows. anything about what you're talking.
about. >> Is it the Morgan Freeman dated his. granddaughter or some shit?". >> Stepg grandanddaughter. >> Stepg grandand. >> Yeah. Had a dated her and then the the. the boyfriend went crazy and like killed. her. And he was like, "I thought that. was common knowledge." Like, "What? What. do you mean?". >> Is that true? The boyfriend went crazy. and killed. >> That's what he said. I I looked at it. afterwards and I was like, "I don't know. where Kurt Kurt gets his news plugged in. straight from the Matrix, I think. I. don't even know where he finds his. stuff.". >> Well, he's on that Jimmy Door show. >> Mhm. >> You know, and Jimmy Door show, the.
entire show is about exposing corruption. and conspiracies, and it's a lot. >> Yeah. you live in that world all the. time. >> and everything becomes a conspiracy and. everything. >> doesn't leave a lot of room for. sunshine. Also, here's the thing. There's enough consp like we talked. about the Franklin scandal. There's. enough conspiracies that are absolutely. real and provable that if you go into. it, you will kind of go crazy, >> right? >> I mean, this is what kind of happened to. Alex Jones. This is what happens to a. lot of people that get involved in. conspiracies. It's like you you find out. how many of them are true and you start.
losing your [ __ ] mind. You're like, what is real? Like what really controls. the world? Like what [ __ ] lizard. people are really at the center of this. whole thing, >> right? Yeah. This is kind of better to. just stay away at a certain point. Just. be like, "Yeah, >> well, you should probably pay attention. a little bit." But some people must have. an obligation to do it because if it. doesn't get exposed, then it's going to. continue. And the only way that you can. kind of put a stop to this stuff is. people have to get busted. They have to. be held accountable. The public has to. get outraged. So, someone has to be. making these videos. So, but it doesn't.
have to be you, >> right? Doesn't that have to be like for. your own personal mental health? It's. just not good to absorb all of the evil. of the world. >> Yeah. There's no reason to take that on. There's no reason. Just be just find. happiness in your lane. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's that's I feel like that's. pretty easy to do. >> Yeah. I I feel like that's pretty easy. to do. >> Yeah. Just just be a lot of people just. be happy with where you are and work. from there. >> Yeah. But it's just like some people. feel obligated to be a part of. something, you know, and then you you.
you you find the thing about like with. me is like he wasn't always like this. I. was friends with him long before he. started working with Jimmy and he was, you know, fun and crazy, always like the. same kind of guy. But now it's like the. the obsession is all on deep corruption. and conspiracies. It's like yo. But he's. right. He's right about a lot of it, >> which is nuts. and he he maintains a lot. of it in his [ __ ] brain just bouncing. around in there like.
[sighs]. >> but yeah but I mean it's yeah it just. takes over man I do think uh White. Precious his his Comedy Central special. that's lowkey one of the most underrated. specials of all time that the special is. great. >> he's very funny. >> that special is great. >> he's very good his writing's very good. he's just very smart you know he's a. great podcast guest too basically just. got to kind of corral him a little bit. [laughter]. >> you know yeah cuz he'll go from one. subject to the next subject to the next. all in like one rant. You're like, "Okay, go go go. Go back to that first.
one. Queen Elizabeth did what?". [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> You know. >> Yeah. >> He's just uh Well, we have a lot of I. mean, he's another one that lives in. Austin now. We have a lot of them. It's. pretty cool. >> Yeah. It's uh I'm It's It's so It's so. fun watching like all these like young. kids to like rise up. >> and be and just [clears throat] like. find themselves. It's so like uh I. mentioned Fuzzy earlier, but just. watching him on stage like he does it. It's so It's great watching him just. like figure out to not give a [ __ ] and. then see what comes from that. >> Yeah.
>> Like right now he's doing these things. at the end when he closes out like Fat. Man, he'll also do a Q&A, but he's not. famous. So the questions are so much. funnier. >> and like the answers are so much wilder. cuz it's just some guy that they all. just met. >> That's hilarious. >> Yeah. So it's a it's a very fun dynamic. to watch his Q&As and just being cuz the. whole audience is like, "Wait, we're. doing a Q&A? Why? We had no questions. coming in.". >> That's funny. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> The first time I ever saw anybody do a. Q&A was Seinfeld. >> Really? >> Yeah. He did a whole set. >> He did like 45 minutes and then it was.
at the Paradise in Boston. The Paradise. was a small club. It was a rock and roll. club that was connected to Stitches and. Stitches was the comedy club. So for the. comedy club, like if you're a regular. comedian, I think Stitches probably. seated maybe 150 people. It was like a. little bit bigger than Little Boy. Mhm. >> And um so if you were a regular comic. like a you know road headliner, you. would do stitches and then if you're a. big guy like Jerry Seinfeld who had been. on television, you do the Paradise. >> Okay. >> So I was with a date I think I was maybe.
20 and I went to see Jerry Seinfeld. before I ever did standup and he did. standup and then he came back out and he. answered questions and he would just. riff with the audience and it was. [ __ ] great. It was really cool. He. just started riffing about stuff and. it's I guess that's like how he was. creating material and coming up with new. premises. >> Yeah. Do you get bits when you do that. >> sometimes? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's. >> it's not an exact science. Like we'll. have a whole fun Q&A session for 20. minutes and there's no bits. Right.
>> And I'll do it five times, six times and. then one time, bam, I got one. And then. you just got to grab that sucker and. reel it into the shore. Yeah. And just. work on it. >> Yeah. And then figure it out. But I've. bottom of the barrel is the best. >> Bottom of the barrel is the best premise. factory ever. >> Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I feel like cuz. there's certain people who do it like I. think you you're I mean you're great at. it and I feel like you should like if. you were thinking about doing a special, would you ever consider doing a bottom. of the barrel type special? >> No. Because I'd say too much wild [ __ ]. that I wouldn't want to get published.
>> That's a very fair point. That's. [laughter] a very verb. The most insane. [ __ ] I've ever said has been on bottom. of the barrel and just like I'm so glad. there's a place where I can get this. thought out cuz they'll look at you. >> like yo what the [ __ ]. >> and you're like hey this wasn't my idea. you [ __ ] wrote this down. >> Yeah. Yeah. They get mad at you for I. remember [laughter]. I remember one time I got beastiality. >> and it reminded me of a story. So the. way we consumed porn as kids cuz you. guys had like magazines and you'd find. in the woods. You have a bit about that.
>> Yeah. That wasn't us. So we there was. these this was like pre pornhub so these. pre- YouTubes of porn as I call them but. there were these like dedicated sites. They'd be like one of them was like Mr. Chw's Asian Beaver. I think you can tell. what [laughter] that's about. That one was great because. >> probably run by a Jewish guy. >> Yeah. Oh, for sure. >> Definitely not a Mr. Ch. There was a. there was at the very end there was this. very racist cartoon beaver and he would. have like the buck teeth and the rice. hat and then he would rate every girl. out of fortune like out of five fortune. cookies at the end of each video. That.
was the whole premise of the site. [laughter]. But that's what we were coming up with. in porn. And then one day and we'd watch. that together in like seventh grade. Like that's the our huddling around the. magazine. >> And then one day we invited the weird. guy and he had found one where people. [ __ ] animals. [sighs]. Yeah, it was like w and and there's been. very famous videos. I think there's one. called like Mr. Hands or something like. that. Yeah. Yeah. There's very like. those originated out of those sites. >> And so he was showing us that. And then. what I said on stage is.
>> it gave me the life experience to know. that sometimes when you sometimes when. you watch people [ __ ] a dog, sometimes. the dog enjoys it. And they all looked. at me like I was horrified, which is a. kind of horrifying thing to say, but I. was also like, well, you brought it up. >> Yeah. Yeah, >> I wasn't going to tell the story unless. you asked me. >> Some dogs must like it. There's probably. a girl out girl dog out there that likes. some dick. >> Oh, I mean, there's probably a guy. There's probably a guy dog out there. that's giving some dick right now. >> For sure. Toad to some. Yeah, I've seen. crazy. >> I've seen videos when I was a kid. There.
was like this u video that a friend of. mine had and I remember one of us had to. watch the door. >> So, it was like there [laughter] was the. door. Yeah, cuz there's a door down into. the basement. So, one of us had to stand. up at the door and the rest of us were. huddled in front of this [ __ ] 12-in. television with a VCR attached to it. >> Damn. >> And you put the VHS tape in there. We're. watching like a copy of a copy of a copy. of Barnyard Betty. >> And Barnyard Betty was this cra they. took some crazy crackhead and they gave.
her money to suck a dog's dick and get. [ __ ] by a German Shepherd. And it's. weird to watch, man. >> Yeah. You You come across some weird. [ __ ] out there. ass dog just pumped nut. into this [ __ ] poor. >> drunken sad alcoholic drug addict lady. >> Jesus sad. >> Yeah. Sad. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's uh but that's Yeah, that's that's how [ __ ] Well, porn's. [ __ ] It's just so It's so crazy how. it's just moved towards I guess it's. more empowering I guess when it's like.
individual creators, >> right? Like Only Fans. >> Yeah. It's like. >> Do you know the numbers? You ever seen. the numbers? I saw the the one lady that. makes more than LeBron. >> Yeah, that. But I mean, the number of. actual girls that are on Only Fans. >> Oh, it must be It must be depressing. >> Crazy. >> Yeah. And it must be depressing how many. people are selling themselves to like. nobody. >> Exactly. That's the thing. The The vast. majority aren't making any money, >> right? >> And then their pussy's out there. forever. >> Just forever. >> Yeah. They're they're getting [ __ ] by. a dildo in front of the whole world and. a guy saves it on his hard drive forever.
and ever and ever and ever, right? And. you were 19 and you just didn't want to. work. Yeah, but I think the number. between girls of 18 to I forget what the. age is, something in their 20s, it's. like 10%. >> That's crazy. >> That's wild. It's But it's content. creation. It's like that's a genuine. market that people are going for and. that's way to that's the way to do it. >> It's also pornography. >> It is pornography. Yeah. >> Right. But I mean content creation is. Tik Tok, Instagram, you know what I. mean? Like that's content creation. >> I think they view it in the same vein. >> Wow.
>> Like depends on what you do, right? I. know that top lady and this is something. >> Sophie Rain and this is something that's. just interesting across all Gen Z is. that her thing is that she's a virgin. >> right. >> and that's how she sells which is like. yeah which you know it take it for what. it is but like her and that the Nick. Shirley guy virgin Nick Fuentes virgin. it's like that's like a thing that you. can sell to Gen Z is virginity. >> yeah you were talking to me about this. in the green room that like this incel. problem is unrecognized that there's a.
giant percentage of people that are like. voluntarily celibate in this country. >> Yes, I think so. And it's like a lot of. it is maybe this sort of new religious. this sort of religious fervor that's. sort of developing with them as well cuz. Jenz is more religious. >> Yeah. But aren't they horny? I don't get. it. >> They're not me. They're not There's. something like some crazy amount of. women under 25 have never been. approached by a guy their age like in. public. >> What? >> Yeah. Yeah. It's the game is DMs so it's. all online. So it's all fueling that. sort of loneliness. Yeah. Gen they don't. go out. They don't go out like alcohol.
consumption from Gen Z to millennials is. like they drink 800% less. Some crazy. [ __ ] like that. Third spaces, you know, the concept of a third space. >> No. >> Okay. So, you have work at home. >> That's space one, space two. And a third. space is like, you know, when I was. visiting college, we go to the bowling. alley every day for one one summer. It. was stuff like that. So, place that you. can all go, the library, the mall, places to exist outside of the two. spaces. Those places are completely. disappearing. whether people are staying. inside all the time or they've become.
too expensive. Like movies now are like. very expensive. So it's like kind of. priced out of being a third space. >> on top of all the things that are going. on with movies. So those are also. disappearing. So places where you can. meet someone. >> in person are gone. >> So they're not meeting in person. A lot. of it is appd driven and and you know. >> and then you got to wonder about like. sex drive drop off. >> because. >> well you can access porn. cons like instantly now.
>> right? So you can at least play that. part of your brain, give it something, >> right? >> Give it a rush of some kind that it. would kind maybe get from like a lesser. version of sex, but still feel fill that. void, >> right? >> But there's also testosterone levels. have dropped, >> like fertility levels amongst women have. dropped, miscarriages have risen. >> The the west the west the fertility. rates in the west are like massively. concerning. Like it's, you know, we people like.
worry about bringing in migrants, but at. the same time, they're the only ones. having kids at replacement level. Like. the West isn't having that. I I had my I. had my 15-year high school reunion. recently, and I was in town. I was like, I'll go to this. And I was like, damn, I'll probably be the only one who's like. not married and doesn't have kids, and. most of the people weren't married or. didn't have kids. >> How old are you now? >> 33. >> Wow. >> Yeah. Most of the people there just I. would say of Yeah. didn't have kids, which is which is wild. A 33 at any.
other generation, >> this is a late time to not have a kid. >> Yeah, >> this is pretty for people who grew up. middle class millennial, I would say. This is pretty standard. >> to not have a kid. And there's certain I. think driving factors, too. The fact. that a house is. uniable for a lot of people my age and. younger that like cuz you're you're sold. to dream on a house and two kids. Well, if you can't get the house, like it it. suck it sucks to be renting with kids, >> right? You know, the instability.
>> Average home buyer age is increasing. while the median age for all US home. buyers [clears throat] reaching 59. Whoa, that's pretty late. Yeah. Record. >> late 2025. >> Median age for firsttime buyers hit a. record high of 40. >> Wow. >> Yeah. So, it's like that's how much. that's how long you have to like it's. hard to raise a kid without a house, you. know? >> That's crazy. And the American I I think. the American community in that way is. dying because like you know you it takes. a village to raise a child. So you raise. a house you raise a child in a house you. bought your neighbors generally say the.
same. There's a certain level of comfort. and like you know oh my mom can do this. thing for me I can go to my neighbor's. house and you know what I mean there's. safety in that but if everyone around. you is a renter then your community kind. of disappears. >> Yeah. >> There's no like set community. >> That's a really good point. Mhm. And. it's like. bringing up a kids need consistency. >> Mhm. >> So bringing up in a world that's. constantly shifting, it's it's it's. probably anxietyinducing to people who. can't afford homes. >> for sure. >> Definitely on that. And then child care.
is expensive. >> Then if also your friends aren't doing. it, you know. >> Mhm. >> And then women are waiting later and. later because they want to prolong their. careers, >> right? >> And then it becomes harder. And then you. get into in vitro fertilization. >> Yeah. There's definitely some this this. with this wave of with feminism and. capitalism. There's definitely some like. insidious ties there of just like you. can you can oh like work create capital. for us and then make it make it so it's. impossible or very hard for one working.
house spouse to like just if the man is. working to raise a kid. >> Do you think it's on purpose? I think. maybe it didn't start on purpose, but I. think it sort of became intertwined. >> Well, isn't it just a. >> just a side effect of if women want to. pursue careers, yes, >> you're going to have less children. >> But the that that is for sure, but. there's a thing about it. There's this. like almost demonization. of the women who choose to stay at home.
Like, you know, it's like looked down, oh, a trad wife is looked down on. But. but isn't that just because of the women. that are pursuing careers that give them. that that look down on? >> Yeah, this that's true. And it's. probably because they secretly feel like. maybe they're missing out. >> Maybe it's it to me it's like it's so. funny that both can exist. It can be the. women that go for their careers and the. woman that want to stay home. It's just. for one group to demonize the other. I I. think it's just very interesting. >> Yeah, it is weird, but it's also like. population drop is a real thing. >> It does look like the humanity. Have you.
ever seen that population curve of the. deer? >> Mhm. >> Yeah. It's like so I think humanity is. kind of at that point where it levels. off. >> H. >> Have you Yeah, cuz I remember my bio. class which that would be the like the. exponential growth and then the level. off. >> and we've had the exponential growth. >> and we're looking like that part of the. graph. >> Well, the thing is like there is still. exponential growth. It's just not in the. West. That's what's kind of weird, >> right? >> It's poor people. Poor people want to. have a bunch of kids and they're having. them all the time, right? And then they. want to come over here.
>> Yeah. >> Take over Minnesota [laughter]. >> and then have their kids in daycare that. doesn't exist, >> right? >> But yeah, there is something happening. in the West or like the the way that. like the South Korea and Japan. >> Oh, they're [ __ ]. >> They're like [ __ ] They're like. actually [ __ ] They're like a couple. generations away from like how you going. to support this whole thing, right? >> Unless you let people in. >> Well, or you encourage people to have. kids. if you turn it around with the. youngest people, then you have like a. blip for a while, but then it gets back. to it. But man, you have to like make a.
concerted effort. And how do you. encourage people to have children like. because you're gonna have to have women. that don't pursue careers, >> right? >> Right. If you're going to have five. kids, like. >> what are you going to do? You're working. all day. Like that that's kind of crazy. And when you have kids, you realize how. nuts that is because it's like, man, your kids, they they want their parents, you know, and that's good for them to. have their parents around, especially in. this world of predators and creeps and. weirdos and things that can happen at. daycare, >> right? >> You know.
>> Yeah. Yeah. No, it's uh it's I don't. know how they would incentivize that to. happen. >> How do you Yeah. >> Yeah. You can't you can't really. >> Yeah. Because people are selfish. They. like they want what they want in their. life. And you know when Elon's like, "Oh, we're experiencing population. collapse." They're like, "So what? Not. me. Bye." Right. >> I'm going to the movies with my friends. You know what I mean? Like the idea of. changing diapers, like I don't want I. don't like her that much to stick around. with her for the next 18 years. >> Yeah. You also you also when you have. the ability to choose everyone at your.
fingertips. >> Mhm. >> It's like Netflix when you can watch. everything, you watch nothing. >> So when you can choose everyone, you. can't you don't commit to anything, >> right? >> Yeah. It's just because everything's. these sort of superfluous like kind of. deep relationships. >> I know a lot of people that have used. the apps and then found someone and got. off the apps. >> So there are people but generally. they're a little older. >> Mhm. >> Right. >> Yes. They're they're like at a certain. age you sort of like look for that. >> Yeah. >> But like when in your early 20s when. people were like settling down in their. 20s beforehand. >> Yeah. >> it made sense. [clears throat] they were.
the only person around maybe like but. now you're in a city you can just it can. be if like in a big one in New York. where there's like an endless stream of. people. >> there's no reason to make a choice if. you don't want to. >> I saw a video of a lady who created an. app where a man is allowed to pay for. her preparation for the date. So the man. sends her money so they can she can get. her nails done, get clothes for the. date, all these different things for the. date. And this lady set up this app.
>> Damn. >> I'm like smart. >> It's kind of prostitution. >> I mean, it's sure, [laughter]. >> you know, I mean, it's kind of without. the guarantee of sex. It's weird. You're. not just showing up. These are my. clothes. I drove him here in my car. I'm. meeting a person. No, it's that person. is paying me to prepare for our date, >> right? and creating me into a person in. his head. It's. >> well, you're going to get a very. different kind of person that's going to. meet you. You're going to get a kind of. person that's willing to give you money. immediately.
>> before he has any connection with you at. all. Like he might meet you and you're. [ __ ] super annoying and he's like, "God damn it, I gave that [ __ ] 100. bucks." That's so [ __ ] That's a Richard. I think it was Richard Feineman. He was. talking about getting girls cuz he was. good at it and he was like, "Yeah, I. never paid for the drink on the first. date.". >> Wow. >> Never. Something like That's kind of. crazy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> That's not going to get a lot of quality. women. >> Well, >> maybe it's back then it was different. >> Yeah. And you're kind of famous in your. world. >> Yeah. He's a famous brilliant guy. The.
scientists back then were all like rock. stars. Isn't that crazy? >> Yeah. Yeah. They're all like just. [ __ ] everyone around them. [laughter]. Is that. >> nuts? Yeah. Yeah. >> Making the atomic bomb just [ __ ]. losing their minds. >> That was the crazy thing about the. Oppenheimer thing, right? Oenheimer was. a freak. >> Good for him. >> Just out there getting his [ __ ] on. >> Yeah. [ __ ] communist chicks. >> Yeah, [laughter]. >> they're probably fun. >> Oh yeah, that's living especially back. then. That's living dangerously. That's. the That's the same level of That's the. same level of come as the gay Republican. senator. It's like this is this is.
banned, >> right? >> Right. [laughter]. >> How many gay Republican senators you. think there are? >> I mean, >> not zero. >> Yeah, for sure. >> In the closet? Not zero. >> No, definitely not. It's It's usually It. is usually the ones that are like the. most pro like anyone who's like still. very pro- anti-gay marriage now. like. loudly. It's like what's going on here? >> Or really into war. [laughter]. >> We got to get those Iraqis out of their. hoes. >> Oh yeah. The [ __ ] just So just war.
hawks with Iran's going through it right. now. >> What's going on right now? >> Yeah. You don't know what's happening in. >> I know about the protests and I know. about killing the protesters. >> Yeah. That mean that's what Yeah. Because. >> it seems like there's some sort of a. strike that might be imminent. >> You think, >> doesn't it? It feels like it. >> like from the United States. Yeah, >> I think the US is kind of going to stay. back for a little bit. >> You think so? >> A weakened Iran is that they're weak. right now. >> Well, >> cuz they're dealing with internal. strife. >> It's kind of crazy to see how many. people are on the streets. >> I mean, the Iranian the average Iranian.
civilian has gotten a pretty raw deal. since the 50s, since we installed the. Shaw. >> Yeah, >> we installed the Shaw. And then Kmeni. comes and is like, "Hey, remember the. democracy they stole from you? because. we had deposed a democ an elected. leader. Well, we'll bring it back. And. they're like, "Okay." And then the. clerics just took over and [ __ ] them. And they've just been a constant stream. of like the average the average of any. is just getting [ __ ] by outside forces. for so long. >> Well, it's all about the nationalization.
of their oil. >> Yep. >> They wanted to nationalize their oil. No. player. >> Yeah. [ __ ] that. [ __ ] that. You thought. you think you're going to have control. over your own state? Get out of Did you. you heard uh Mezer's theory about. Venezuela last night? >> No. >> He's like he goes I think I think Maduro. is secretly working for the CIA. He. helped them arrest him and then he is. going to testify that the 2020 elections. were rigged. >> Wow. If that comes true, what a what a. babe what a Babe Ruth call. What a.
[laughter] point to the sky that is. That's great. >> I told him if that comes true, I'm. buying you a car. I go find a find a car. you really like. We're going to get you. a [clears throat] car. Yeah, that's. crazy. >> You need an American muscle guard, I'll. get you a Mustang GT or something. >> But I will say this, when the when the. Iranians protest, it's like admirable. because you know they're going to die. >> A lot of them have already died. Thousands of them. >> A lot of them. And the same with the. hijab protest where just women were. disappearing for not wearing a hijab. It's like damn, bro. >> That's how bad it got. >> They really like it. It they've gotten a.
raw deal historically for the last half. a century and they're still fighting. >> Yeah. Crazy. >> Yeah. I read I read when I was a kid I. read this book called Procepilus. It's. in my like greatest books of all time. but it's uh I read Pepilolis and I was. like maybe in high school early late. middle school and I just realized like. oh man cuz you get bombarded especially. at that time where in fighting in the. Middle East you get bombarded with. propaganda of like what these people. like over there and I'm reading. Pepilolis. I'm like oh right they're. just people. Like she has a scene where. she's just wanting to listen to music.
with her friends, but the Islamic police. is like. will [ __ ] [ __ ] them up. >> if they get caught. And they just have. these secret parties where just. listening to music. >> Secret listening to music parties. in jail. >> Yeah, just regular things. >> What is this? Venezuelan opposition. opposition litter Maria Corina Machado. insists that Maduro rigged the 2020 US. elections against Donald Trump and many. other elections in the region. What. >> tweets from the third? I saw that going.
around, too. So, I don't know that. Kurt's too crazy on that one. >> What? >> Yeah, there's [clears throat] a This. isn't even the first one. This was just. I was showing you the data. >> How could Maduro rig United States. elections? >> Yeah. What? Yeah. What is Where is that. power coming from all of a sudden? Cuz. if the power to rig election, do you. think he would be able to stop himself. from getting arrested? >> This is from the gray zone. It says uh. >> Hugo El Polo Carval Carvajal is uh. likely to serve as the star witness for. the US against Maduro. Max Blumenthal.
reveals Carvajal is a coerced witness. who cut a secret plea deal to save. himself. He's even indulging the Trump. uh Trump's conspiracy theory that. Venezuela rigged the 2020 US election. >> The gray What's the gray zone is that? >> So I think that's Max Blumenthal's show. >> Okay. So that's like a source. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Okay. Okay. >> He's legit. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Uh anti-war. >> guy. Um so if if he's saying that maybe. there's something to it.
>> Damn. How would be how would he in what. mechanism would Maduro be able to. >> That's what I'm saying. >> To do an election. >> Like what are Okay, let's find that out. How do they think Maduro had a hand in. rigging the 2020 election? What's the. conspiracy? >> Yeah. Was it like he did all the like he. helped with the mail in votes? Right. cuz that's the only that's the only way. you could steal that election, right? >> Like Venezuela is pretty far away. >> Here's a tweet from before the election. even happened. >> Nicholas Maduro's campaign manager, uh, this is from 2024, just went on national.
TV to declare victory despite exit polls. showing a historic loss for their. socialist regime. They're setting up to. commit a bigger election theft than the. 2020 election in the United States. >> That doesn't add. >> That's not That's just someone's. opinion. >> Yeah. How does that add up? that they're. stealing the election in. >> Yeah, because they stole it in. Venezuela. >> But they did steal it in Venezuela. >> Yeah, that's for sure. >> Uh what does it say? >> Looking around that this is. >> It says he he did uh clearly stole.
Venezuela's election. Threatened. bloodshed if he lost, restricted. uh what is that? Intel. What is it? >> International observers. >> International observers. Uh block. transmission of results. >> Yeah, that that definitely happened. And. I mean it was very telling how happy the. Venezuelans in America were. >> when he was gone. >> Yeah. >> That was that was a genuine thing if. they were. >> very very pleased about that. >> Yeah. And then you had people you had. like white leftists be like this is bad.
>> Yeah. Well, you're supporting a. dictator. It's like and the way they did. it was so unprecedented. Go in and storm. the [ __ ] castle and steal the guy. >> What kind of shows the power like kind. of tells also the other countries like, "Hey, back off. Well, it's pretty crazy. what they did, if it's true, with that. whole sonar weapon or sound weapon, whatever it did, that like literally. like makes your organs bubble and. everybody like falls to the ground. They're writhing in pain and agony and. then they just stormed in and everybody. was incapacitated.
>> Damn. >> Stormed in, [ __ ] everybody up and that. was a wrap. >> Well, if that's what war is becoming, that's kind of better. It's kind of. crazy. Have you heard the. >> That's kind of better than like ground. troops and non-stop fighting and 20. years in Afghanistan. >> Okay, here's lawyer Sydney Powell in. 2020 talking about Maduro having access. to voting fraud technology. Maduro is. going to sing like a canary and the. Democrats are screwed. No wonder what. Okay, >> is that lady even real? >> Who? >> That that that looks like a No, I'm the.
the avatar. >> that the person the person tweeting. this. See this this this reeks of bot to. me. >> Yeah. Yeah. Follow me for breaking news. is what it says. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why do you know. or just guy clearly account clearly just. making stuff up? >> Um see if you can find an account of how. they did it because there's an account. by someone who was a witness that was. there at the scene that said how [ __ ]. crazy it was that these guys came out of. nowhere. The helicopters came out of. nowhere. The drones they shut down all.
the radar. Everything got shut down. And. then all of a sudden there's drones. flying everywhere and helicopters and. these dudes, 20 guys killed, you know, who knows how many [ __ ] humans, right? >> No one got killed on the American side. They captured him and his wife, stuffed. him back in the helicopter, and they. were in and out in 10 minutes. >> In 10 minutes. Yeah. There's there's. that there's a very famous video of a a. Twitch streamer in Venezuela just out in. the streets, and then everything just. >> really. >> Yeah.
>> Whoa. >> Yeah. Just goes dark. That's crazy. >> Damn. >> That's crazy. >> And yeah, you can and you're a human. You can tell like, "Oh, something's up. >> This is not a normal everything like all. the street light." It went just dark. >> Well, it's crazy because we knew they. had some really wild technology, but. they didn't know. We didn't know what. they were capable of until we've seen. this. And they're like, "Oh." What's. really interesting is my friend Evan. Hayer was talking about that like a year. ago on the podcast. He was talking about. it, maybe less than a year. He's like, "If we go to war with the cartels, like.
they have no idea what kind of. ultraviolence they're in for.". >> He's like, "The [ __ ] that these guys are. going to do when they get when they're. going to plan this out, they had a they. built a replica of his house and they. went through it blindfolded.". >> Yeah. So, they know exactly where every. turn is, where to go. They they g war. planned this for a long time. >> Thing was a false story. >> False. Which one. >> of the live stream going out, >> right? But find the account of the.
witness. >> I just stumbled across that on the way. to it. >> Okay. The the account of the guy who. said he was there if it's accurate. It's. crazy cuz he's he basically said they. just incapacitated everyone and then. just went in and murdered everybody and. pulled pulled out Maduro. Like no one. could move. You can't do anything. And. then these guys land in helicopters and. everyone's writhing in agony like. >> just running through whacked everybody. No one got shot back at.
>> Crazy. >> Yeah. But I think Yeah, I think that's. what warfare outside of what's happening. in Russia Ukraine. That's kind of what. warfare is now, right? Like, >> oh, is is Iran going to is Israel going. to go to war with Iran? We'll just. quickly just take out all their govern. all their generals real quick. >> Well, that's if. >> and the threat of war is done. >> You know, you're dealing with Venezuela. versus the United States of America, right? But if it was the United States. of America versus Russia. >> or China, it would be a lot different. >> It's a lot more [ __ ] up. You know, Venezuela doesn't have nuclear bombs, that's why we get away with [ __ ] like. this. >> Right. [laughter].
Right. Yeah, that's a fair point. >> That That is part of the thing, you. know. And then it's like the whole. thing's so transparent. Trump's like. immediately, we're going to take the. oil. There's plenty of oil. >> Oh, yeah. >> We're working on a deal. >> Yeah. I don't think it was a coincidence. that all of a sudden there was I had gas. under $2 last week in the the gas. station across the street. I was like, "Huh, I wonder if that's Venezuela. related.". >> Not in California. >> California gas companies are pulling. out. Valero pulled out of California. It's going to cost them $1 billion and.
they're like, "Yeah, >> it's not worth. >> rather leave.". >> Yeah. Damn. >> [ __ ] you. >> Well, yeah. The cost of living there is. so high, too. It's like like when we. talk about like young comics, it's like. it's what you have in Austin is like at. least a way a much cheaper quality of. life. >> and better and better. Yeah. Where you. have space and like. >> you know things are more expensive than. anywhere else in Texas probably for. sure. But like it's still like gas was. under $2. You can get. >> you can like rent is stabilizing. It's.
going down. It's going to go down. I. think a lot of like California, New York. developers came in here and they were. like, "Austin's where people are, so we. can just build a lot." But in New York. and California, you have a finite amount. of space. In Austin, you can just build. out. And once you build out, like the. rent at my place went down cuz people. were like, "Oh, just buy a house out. there." And no one's living in the. apartment complex. And it like, you. know, like. >> if you live in Dripping Springs, it's. way cheaper and it's only 30 minutes. away. Everywhere in the country, 30-minute commute is normal, >> right? Right. Yeah. It's normal. Here.
Here. It's What's nice about here is. you'll see something that's 15 minutes. It'll be 15 miles. You'll be like, "Oh, that's that's normal. >> That's normal." Yeah. [laughter] I went. 15 miles. Yeah. It was an hour and a. half. No, it was almost two hours. I. went from Roondo Beach. >> to [ __ ] Burbank after a podcast at 5. and I was like, "Oh, I. >> should have just killed myself. That. would have been a more effective use of. my time." [laughter]. >> Locked up. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> When the 405 or the five gets locked up, it's depressing. Hell, >> that trip down to San Diego. If you want. to do the La Hoya store,
>> you got to leave early. >> You got to leave at noon. >> Leave at noon cuz that means you'll be. down in San Diego right around the time. rush hour starts. >> Yeah. >> Crazy. >> Yeah. It's It's But yeah, it's just a. cheaper place to like for a young comic. who like if it's time to move to a place. >> Yeah. >> It's like Austin does offer a cheaper. quality for quality stage time as well. >> It's also just a better vibe. There's. less tension. There's less people. Yes. Yes. I feel like there are times where I.
would take a day off in LA and I feel. like I'm falling behind because everyone. around you is so frantic. >> And here it's like, "Oh, I can breathe. I can actually just enjoy this day off, >> which is important.". >> You got to have some kind of balance. You know, you want to be a little bit. frantic, but then you got to you got to. achieve some balance and let your brain. sort of recalibrate. Come back on. >> Just get a new perspective. Come back. rest is so we're so this so this grind. culture. >> it's for get into this though same kind. of thing I'll check the account.
>> [ __ ] up account. >> main. >> main proponent for the drive to recall. Gavin Newsome California needs rebuild a. better so it might be a fake person. >> and then there's no uh there's no. evidence to like a link or where they. got the information from. >> which is why I just check first but they. they just have a long story here about. >> it just says interview security guard so. it could be total propaganda right. >> yeah could be made up from you know you. could ask AI to make up a story what it. >> give me a good story to put on Twitter. about this. >> and then yeah just. >> have you tried to find it anywhere else. is it only from this one guy.
>> yeah this I was finding it was Caroline. Levit uh shared it. >> and then this is the. >> that's the main account where she shared. it from. >> stop what you're doing and read this. [laughter]. >> I googled that and she sh she's said. that a ton of times. >> how long how long has Caroline Le been. the press secretary this whole time. right aren't they how quickly do they. move past those. >> they usually last about two years except. for That last one except for the last. one. Yeah. I wonder if that set a. precedent. >> She decided to hang in there to bit her. in. They were trying to get rid of her. She sucked. >> St. Pierre, right? >> Yeah. Whatever her name was. It wasn't.
St. Pierre. >> It wasn't St. Pierre. I thought it was. something like that. >> Karine Jean Pierre. >> Okay. Something Pierre. It was something. Pierre. Yeah. Yeah. >> Bro, she was terrible. >> She did it forever. >> And again, the president is committed. The president like she would do like the. Obama thing with her fingers. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]. >> The [ __ ] out of here. They just try. She. had a lie all the time. That's her job. dead person. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. That's that's hard to do. That's. that's pretty like, you know, you have. to you have to keep juggling a lot to be. like, "Oh, this dead person's still. alive.". >> I thought he was going to die like.
immediately after he left office. I'm. like, "He's going to die soon." Like. real soon. >> Yeah. It's kind of wild. He's kept. going. But every now and then he'll. they'll trot him out and he'll start. talking. >> He'll be at an Eagles game and like, "Yeah, you know what's going on.". >> But every now and then they'll they'll. he'll talk. They'll let him talk like. there's been a few of those where he'll. talk like, "Thank God you didn't win. >> [laughter]. >> Jesus Christ. If you came back, if you. know they never replaced Kamla with you. >> and you won or you with Kamla and you. won and you're this guy now. Well, yeah.
Well, he he [ __ ] them by not bowing. out. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's like let him at least let him. have a primary. >> cuz because then it just became Kla. versus Trump and the whole like oh vote. for me to fight fascism but no one voted. for you in the first place. >> The thing is if they had a primary who. do you think would have been it? They. probably would have made her. >> probably the Democrats would have. decided on her anyway, I think, >> because it would have been too soon for. Newsome to run. He still has a stink of. co on him. So, he's that's why he waited. for this this go around. Yeah, it's been.
enough. People have forgotten co enough. >> It's been more than half it's been half. a decade since. >> it's people's minds like people's. political memories are so short. >> that Yeah. 2028 that's so far away from. co that he he can he can just be like I. did fine or whatever the [ __ ] Do you. think so? I think so. I enough to enough. to run enough to probably get the. nomination. >> You think he's going to get the. nomination? >> Who else? >> Who else? >> Someone else can rise over the next. three years. >> Someone someone else would have to if it.
been an Obama thing, it would be like. someone who would be rising in this. upcoming midterm. So, if there's someone. like that, >> maybe, but all it takes is someone who's. a compelling speaker who's not. demonstrabably full of [ __ ] because the. the thing about him is he's so. vulnerable to any kind of a debate. When. someone starts talking about the fraud. and waste in California, how about the. highspeed rail? They spent billions of. dollars. There's [ __ ] nothing. Nothing soon. We're going to get it done. soon. Just so much fraud. So much waste. >> Yeah, but I don't think they have. anything cuz you can right now all you.
can you can just run on like I'm not. Trump. >> and that'll be enough to get people be. like, "Yeah, he's not Trump.". >> What about that Josh Shapiro guy? The. guy's a governor of Pennsylvania. >> Maybe. I don't No, it's just to me it's. like a polit it's just like a polit a. popularity contest and he's making a lot. of noise. >> A lot of people upset the Jews right. now. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fair. point. >> Yeah, >> that's a fair. >> Shapiro. H. >> it just seems like h. >> Yeah, that's a good point. It just seems. like he's the one making the most noise.
and we're getting we're getting towards. crunch time. Not really, but like. >> it's the closer we get to the midterms. and there's no other big voice, >> it makes me feel like it's going to be. him. Well, clearly he wants to do it. >> He definitely wants to do it. >> Yeah. >> And he might just be powerful. politically enough to win that. nomination. >> That guy [ __ ] up San Francisco, [ __ ]. up California, and then goes on to [ __ ]. up the whole country. >> Oh, it's very possible. I It's maybe not. very possible, but I think it's it's a. it's an outcome.
>> It's an outcome. He's definitely. running. It's going to be it's I don't. know what that ticket's going to be, but. >> they're going to make us all trans. >> Yeah. What's it going to be like? It's. going to be like Newsome Crockett. That's my early call of what they're. going to try to run. >> Shut the [ __ ] [laughter] up. Are you. kidding? >> Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I think that's. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's who they cuz. she she's very revealed. >> AOC. >> Maybe AOC. >> I think AOC is more reasonable. >> AOC is much more reasonable for sure. >> You ever see when Crockett and Marjorie. Taylor Green start going after back and. forth with each other, insulting each.
other, and yelling at each other? >> No. That's Oh, yeah. I did. I did see. that. That's a very very fun moment. [laughter]. Oh, nobody wants to be a representative. That's the thing. It's like all these. successful business people and academics. like they don't want to do that. >> No, it's all like lawyers and like Yeah. >> And creeps. >> And creeps. Yeah. That's the only Well, it's like it's one of those things where. you're right. The person who wants to do. it probably isn't or person who should. do it probably isn't going to want to do. it. >> 100%. >> Cuz you do have to make decisions that.
negatively affect millions of people's. lives sometimes. >> And you got to grease the pockets of. your donors. >> Yeah. And to be like a regular guy and. want to do that was probably would to. tear you apart. [sighs] to be like, "Ah, here's a. decision that'll kill people." You got. to be kind of a sociopath. >> What's really [ __ ] is how much of an. impact people like us have on elections. now. That's what's nuts. Like podcasters. have a big impact on elections now, which is really weird. >> That's how much the mainstream media has. kind of lost its lead.
>> Drop the ball. >> Drop the ball hardcore. >> Well, it's just by being unreliable. by. being people that you can't trust. >> and uncensored conversation is like. people are going to trust that more. because this is how this is how people. talk to their friends more often than. not. >> then like oh I can't say this cuz this. sponsor is going to be mad at me. >> right. >> you know like this this is this is just. a much more accessible way of finding. out people's real thoughts. >> and a lot of it is just how we talk I. mean this there's been so many times. we've been in the green room that. totally it could have been a podcast.
>> right. >> just put a camera on it live in the. green room it would [ __ ] [ __ ] up the. vibe. >> But it'll be a great podcast. >> Yeah, it would. It would. >> [ __ ] up the vibe. >> Yeah, it would it would lose that. quality that would make it a good. podcast if we were trying to actually. podcast. >> Yeah, definitely. Definitely. >> All right, brother. Well, I'll see you. tonight. >> I'll see you tonight. And tell everybody. your special. It's out. It's on YouTube. >> It's on YouTube. It's called Too Soon. Check it out. It's uh I'm very proud of. this material. >> It's great material, man. And you've. been killing it. You've been killing it. at the club. And the new stuff's. fantastic, too. >> Thank you. And yeah, go to a.
>> Look at that hair. Look at that hair. Every time I've been on here, I've had. different hair today. [laughter] Today I. went cornrows. >> Yeah. Yeah. You've had the cornrows for. a while now, right? >> Just a week or so. I did it for a sketch. and then I was like, >> I kind of like this. Yeah. It's crazy. for this guy, this hairline to have. cornrows. >> All right, my brother. Appreciate you. See you tonight. >> See you tonight. >> Bye, everybody. >> [music].
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