Joe Rogan Experience #2373 - Dave Landau

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. >> The Joe Rogan Experience. >> Train by day. Joe Rogan podcast by. night. All day. >> Yeah, dog. >> There we go. What's up? >> How you doing? >> Good to see you, brother. >> Good to see you, sir. >> What's cracking? >> Not much. Just rocking the shy. the fact. that we're talking about your Shyola. watch that I'm I'm glad Detroit's coming. back, you know, and I like I like how. Shyola represents. >> Shyola is definitely one of the things.

that's great about Detroit. >> Yeah, they say it like made in Detroit. They're proud. >> Yes. Which we didn't have for a long. time, >> dude. Detroit is the craziest story. If. you know the story about Detroit, like. in the 1950s and60s, it was the third. richest city in the world. >> Well, yeah. It was called the Paris of. the Midwest. And it's a city that's. still built for 7 million people with. supposedly 700,000 living in it. I mean, so you do see a lot of like how is there. like a million-dollar condo in the same. place that has like eight abandoned.

other apartments? It's when you go. downtown, it makes no sense. logistically. >> Do you ever watch that show Top Gear? >> Oh, yeah. >> Jeremy Clarkson, I think it was easier. Top Gear was maybe the the the one they. did after that that they did for Amazon, but they went to Detroit and they bought. a house for $500. Yeah, you can. And. there's also the people that buy them. and open the door and get mauled by. pitbulls. Or you see the ones that like. they're they'll put a like a pumpkin p. like they'll do an urban farm which is. hysterical. And you'll see like these.

hippies on the news like they cut my. face and stole my plums and I'm scared. It's like Yeah, but you're in a crack. neighborhood. Nobody wants your farm. >> No, we're gendrifying. >> Yeah. Isn't that what you guys want? It's like they don't want that at all. >> There's some delusional [ __ ] people. out there, dude. and what they did to. Detroit. Like anybody that thinks that. you should allow corporations just take. all the jobs and move them overseas. Well, this is just like corporate.

decisionm and it's a prudent financial. decisionm and look at Detroit. >> Look what they did. >> It's a prime example of like that was. the American dream. >> and they're like we'll just we'll. assemble them in Mexico. Look, but we'll. write Made in America on your door, so. you're gonna feel good about it. >> Did they even write Made in America on. the door? >> Sometimes they do. Like I I preferred. like the 80s and 90s where if you bought. a car and it was made on a Friday, you. knew a drunk guy did it, so you're like, "Give me one from a Wednesday." Like. those were the days of American autom.

See, that's part of the problem, too. A. friend of mine who was in the union told. me that the automakers union just got. out of control. They were making so much. money and the they were constantly in. negotiations. There were strikes. impending and. >> Oh yeah. >> And then they were like, "Hey, but [ __ ]. you. We'll just go to Mexico.". >> Yeah. They off, >> right? That's right. Yeah. That's just. part of it. But no, like later on, like. you said, in the 80s and 90s, like. you're grandfathered in. And it really. doesn't matter what you do wrong. Like. that's part of the deal.

>> Yeah. You can't get fired. >> No, it was great. I mean, the worker, but. >> yeah, there seems to be like a middle. balance that could be. >> reached. Like, don't be fully hammered. when you're trying to put a door on an. F-150. I mean, they should make good. money because the corporation makes good. money. I mean, you know, they were doing. well. It was a very profitable business. The workers should share in those. profits. >> Well, and like the electric ones, it. just didn't work for them either. They. they pushed it out too soon, too. cuz I.

know people that work on the line, you. have like the electric F-150 and it's. like F-150s this everybody wants one. They love it as a work truck, but as an. electric truck, you put the thing down. in South America where it's hot all the. time, it's just going to catch fire. So, it's like it's not really working out. >> Or if you're in the cold, the battery. sucks. >> Yeah. Which. >> Yeah. >> And I just don't like electric cars. personally. Maybe it's just because I'm. from Detroit and I grew up and I just. want to feel an engine. >> I get it. But I have a Tesla that will. knock your dick into the dirt.

>> Oh, I know they're fast. >> It's not just fast. It's [ __ ] car is. incredible. It's a piece of machinery. from the future. >> What is it? >> It's a Model S. >> Okay. >> But it's a Plaid that was sent to a. company called Unplug Performance. Unplug performance. Takes the fenders. off. Put carbon fiber wider fenders. Changes the suspension to like a. racebased suspension. Puts wide tires on. it and wider wheels. Upgrades the brakes. to these huge carbon fiber discs cuz. it's a very heavy car. >> I was going to say, so it's heavier as. opposed to lighter like an race car.

>> Well, it's heavier because Teslas are. very heavy cuz the batteries. But. >> because the batteries are all on the. bottom, the center of gravity in the car. is phenomenal. >> Okay. It's It's like one of the best. balanced cars you could ever drive. And. the self-driving is bananas. >> Oh, you have it on there. >> I had my buddy Yeah, you get it with the. car. I I had my buddy Fedor was here the. other day and he had never been in one. So, the first thing I always do is merge. onto the highway. I'm like, "You ready?". >> Yeah. >> It goes 0 to 60 in 1.9 seconds. 1.9.

seconds. >> Oh, that's faster than. >> And then I go, Now, this is what's. really wacky. I put in the destination. and I just say, "Take me to the comedy. mothership." And then I press a button. >> and it goes and when I go it goes it. just does it on its own. Changes lanes, stops at red lights. It it it's crazy. It moves around obstructions. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Any Yeah, cuz I remember the first ones. they were like, you know, barreling over. bikers. >> It's still based on camera. So you could.

fool it with a camera. You could fool. the camera rather. So some guy um set up. a mural in uh the desert. So what he did. was he had the highway and then he made. a mural that looked like the highway and. the car just ran right through the. mural. >> Oh, I saw that. That was great. He made. it look Yeah. And they he put a Woody. Woodpecker to the side of it. >> Like he just pulled. >> He just drew the tunnel. It was. hysterical. Went right into the tunnel. >> basically like that. But he didn't draw. draw the tunnel. He did. But is what. Woody Woodpecker did, right?

>> It's so awesome. >> He would draw a tunnel at the side of a. cliff. >> Yeah, that's all he did. just tricked it. like it was a coyote, which which all. the AI that was kind of nice to see. I. hate to say it. I was like, that's a. little relieving. >> It's kind of funny. It's for now, but. you know, it's like beating up a. 2-year-old that's eventually become an. an NFL player. >> [ __ ] is going to grow up. He's going. to kill you. >> You're going to regret it. >> They got to remember who [ __ ] with the. Whimos. >> You know, I was watching a movie last.

night. I can't remember the name of it. Um, Companion. And it was just all about. like sex bots. >> and they're like hunting them and going. at each other and it's like just a. >> movie like a. >> It was on HBO. Yeah. >> Oh, okay. >> And like they set up a sex bot to kill. one of their friends so they can rob. him. >> Oh boy. >> And it turns out she's a sex bot and. this other guy's a sex bot. And I'm. watching it and I'm like this is the. problem. Like Yeah, there it is. Like. you can't really give these things. personalities if you have a sex bot. I. think. >> well this is part of the problem that's. happening with these chat bots with kids.

because they're developing relationships. with them and like one one AI chatbot. was teaching a kid how to make a noose. >> It's not funny. >> No, it's a little funny. >> It's a little funny. >> It's a little funny. The [ __ ] robot. is teaching a suicidal kid how to do it. right. >> It's already encouraging like you have a. good idea. Take a rope. Make sure. Yeah, that's. >> I wonder if any of the woke AI chat bots. have talked to any of these trans school. shooters.

>> They might have. >> You know what I'm saying? Like. >> the last one. Yeah. I don't know, >> bro. It's like seven of the last x. amount of trans seven in a row have been. trans except one was non-binary, which. is just diet trans. >> It is, right? That's diet trans. as trans without the sugar. >> I just don't get it. Like I felt. suicidal. Like stay at home and kill. yourself. Like don't go into schools. >> Yeah. Or just go for a walk.

>> Yeah, that would be good, too. >> You know, the problem is some people get. to a certain point in their life and. they have no friends and no community. and no identity and no life and it's not. they're not successful and they feel. like [ __ ]. >> and then they have gender dysphoria on. top of that and then they're probably on. a bunch of SSRI. >> which RMK Jr. is going to apparently do. some sort of a largecale research into. the connection between mass shootings. and psychiatric drugs cuz it is real and. everyone knows it and it's just this.

dirty secret that no one talks about. because all the media is paid off by the. pharmaceutical drug companies and nobody. wants to make this correlation. connection because you also risk the. wrath of all these people that are on. them saying I'm on them and I'm not. doing anything. It's not the pills. I. need these to function. Maybe you do. I. don't know. I don't know how your brain. works. But the reality is most of these. people that have committed mass murder. are on psychiatric medication.

>> Well, they are. And I'm on SSRIs that. I'm trying to get off of right now cuz. I've been on for 10 years. Olaf. >> Oh. >> And I don't like it. So, I hadn't liked. it for a long time. And even dealing. with like mental health care, I'm like, I don't think I need this. And they're. like, what's better? You stay on them. I'm like this is odd cuz it's having the. opposite thoughts you know and so I. >> it's having the opposite thoughts. meaning makes you feel bad. >> depressed. >> wants me like really like I gained. weight I was doing like really bad. mentally for a while because of certain. things and it was I took myself off of.

them for 5 days and I felt good and then. I got really queasy and really nauseous. like my brain started kind of misfiring. so now I'm weaning weaning it off a. little more correctly as opposed to just. going cold turkey. >> So after 5 days, like what is happening. where you it makes your brain crazy? Like. >> I was stuttering. I was slipping up. I. was having trouble seeing. Um I. >> did you like go online and see if. there's any correct way to do this? >> Yeah, they said to wean it off or. whatever your thing is, take that and.

then bust a pill in half, take that for. seven days, bust a pill in half, take. that for seven days. And that's what I'm. doing now. And I already feel better. being on less. But I was told for the. last 10 years that that's what I should. be on. And I think it's had a a very. negative effect to me. >> Well, yeah. Um, >> yeah. See, brain zaps. That's what I. mean. Like you just feel like you're. having a stroke. >> Electric shock like sensations in the. head are a hallmark symptom. Other. sensations can include tingling or. numbness.

>> Yep. >> Flu-l like symptoms, digestive issues, sleep problems, balance. your balance. goes, mood changes, cognitive issues, brain fog, there it is. >> All of it. And nausea was the one that. really messed me up because I was just. like, why do I feel sick? But I didn't. feel like the flu. >> You just felt like thrown up. >> Yeah. And I just realized I'm like, okay, well, what did I take out? Cuz. I've gone off of a lot of harder drugs. and alcohol and stuff, so I know what. it's like to feel withdrawals. And it. was a withdrawal from.

>> So how old are you now? >> I'm 43. >> So when you were 33, you got on them. Yeah. Yeah. >> So, what was going on at 33? Were you. like, I need medication? >> Uh, I went to their my mom had uh died, kill herself, >> so I decided to go see a doctor and they. were like, look, take this. And I'm. thinking like I think my mom was on. this. I don't know if this is the best. answer, but I took it and it was. >> your mom was on it. >> She was on Yeah, she was on. anti-depressants and she was bipolar, but they had her mis they had her. misdiagnosed as depressive, too. >> Cuz I was like, I think she's bipolar.

And they're like, how do you I'm like, you know, I lived with her for 30 years. and I know the mood swings cuz I grew up. in a house where like you came home and. she was either the happiest woman on the. planet or you were [ __ ] terrified. Like it was one or the other, you know, and that's just and she wasn't a bad. person. She just had this mental. imbalance. >> Yeah. >> And it was after things happened with my. dad and like the government and things. like that. So. >> what happened when you done in the. government? He was in Vietnam. >> And he got uh a soft cell saroma from.

Agent Orange. >> Oh Jesus. >> Uh the VA was great. They did nothing. for our family. Uh they denied both of. my mom's claims. My dad lost all of his. money. Like it was he was worth like 4. million. I think he lost everything. And. uh it was to pay out of pocket like when. and he got sick when I was 13. He was. like our baseball coach, everything. So. he would go around the like country. going to like uh Cambridge had a very. good uh neurosurgery place for the brain. stem. Uh University of Michigan in Ann.

Arbor had one. So he wasn't as present a. lot. My mom was dealing with that on top. of being an RN. I mean and he he was. tough as nails. Like he would have one. of those halos drilled in and he'd still. go golfing and [ __ ] like. he'd just be on the course. >> Oh my god. >> And I'd be like, "What are you doing?". He's like, "It's not bad. I don't pick. my head up anymore. He's like. >> he's seeing the bright side of a halo. >> Dude, he would find the positive in. anything. He was He reminded me of. Dangerfield a lot. Like that's how he. was. So he never complained.

>> And it it was always crazy cuz he'd be. very dry. Like people go, "How are you?". And he'd be like, "Oh, life is great. He's just got something nailed to his. [ __ ] head." He's like, "Can you hand. me one of those tissues so I can clean. it up real quick?" He goes, "It might be. bleeding." Yeah. How are you? And he. just tried to make light of it the whole. time. But the government did nothing. And then the more and more I research. it, we've talked to the VA. I have an. uncle who does stuff, former Marine, uh, four people that have dealt with this. from Vietnam because they denied so many. claims that ended up being real. Like.

soft cell saroma was one of the things. where they said, "Oh, we didn't do that. That's not from Agent Orange." It's. like, "Are you sure?" Cuz you it was in. combat in the fields where you sprayed. it to kill all the trees. And they're. like, "Yeah, that's not on us." Then. years later they admitted it but said my. mom filled out the paperwork wrong and. gave us nothing. And even 10% of that's. 400 grand. Like it gave us nothing, dude. >> So it's like I've dealt with that my. whole adult life where I have a little.

piece of me. That's why I'm not really. like right or left. I'm very much like. [ __ ] either side of this until somebody. does something that I actually believe. in. And when I see the stuff that's. happening to so many people that fought, especially when you find out about LBJ, the helicopters, all the other [ __ ]. that was the reason that we even went. into Vietnam, >> the helicopters. >> Yeah. LBJ, from what I understand, had. money in helicopters. >> Oh god. >> And was able to profit off of it. >> Oh god. >> So, and people say it's a conspiracy.

theory, but why were we really there? >> Well, I think the real reason was. heroin. >> I'll give you that. Yeah, >> I think that was the real reason. I. think that's the real reason why we're. in Afghanistan as well. >> Oh, I would assume. Yeah, that's the. poppy fields. >> I I don't want to say it's the only. reason. I'm sure there's other there's. military reasons. There's there's rare. earth minerals in Afghanistan. There's. natural gas. There's a lot of resources. in Afghanistan. Um, but there's a lot of. heroin coming out of there. That was at.

one point in time 94% of the Earth's. heroin supply was coming from the place. that we were guarding. We were literally. guarding the poppy fields. Military, US. military guarding the poppy fields that. was supplying heroin to 94% of the. earth. >> That's insane because the other part is. there's a part in China like some the. triangle trying to think of it's what's. it called? But the rest is Afghanistan. and that's how you're getting every drug. in the world into. the US as far as like you know actually.

making opioids. >> Mhm. Cuz in the '9s, I worked in a. pharmacy, which was a great place for a. drug addict. Especially when they. weren't counting the pills. You could do. it by weight. So, you just say like, "Hey, I got to go uh take out the. trash." And you just like open up a. bottle of like Valium or Percoets and. just, you know, fill your cellophane. The Golden Triangle, the remote jungle. covered border region where Thailand, Myanmar, and Lao people's Democratic. Republic meet has been has seen an. exponential surge in the manufacturing.

traffic of synthetic drugs. Yes. >> So that's what it is. It's the golden. triangle. >> That's what I was thinking of. >> And that I guarantee you that had a. there was a major reason why we were in. Vietnam. >> There was so much money coming out of. there. and the idea that some corrupt. factions of either the military or the. intelligence agencies or whoever it is. So, and I'm not saying the agencies or. the military themselves. I'm saying. corrupt factions because there's always. going to be those just like when the CIA. sold drugs in South Central LA to pay.

for the conscious versus the. Sandinistas. It's all real. >> Well, look at Detroit. When you look at. White Boy Rick, White Boy Rick was. somebody who was caught selling crack. And you had Coleman Young, the mayor, who was pretty corrupt. And then you had. the FBI who caught him and said, "Hey, here's some more crack just go into the. city and find out who the dealers are.". Then when white boy Rick got uh brought. in by the the city, the FBI was like, "We didn't do that. We'd never put crack. into a black community. We don't know.

We've never seen this kid in our life.". So this this kid uh who's my cousin's. friend, white boy Rick, ends up going to. prison. I don't know the exact time for. like 30 years. He's like 17. They try to. name him as a kingpin. And again, he's a. white boy in Detroit who's 17. He's not. a kingpin of [ __ ] And he served the. longest time because Coleman Young uh. was pissed he was dating his niece. So he goes he goes away and then while. he's in jail, they uh have him sign a.

thing that said he stole a car so his. sister didn't have to go to jail. So. finally they let him out for all this. wrongdoing that he that he never did. This this sentence that was batshit. And. then he has to go right from that jail. to Chicago to serve time for stealing a. car while he was in prison. >> His story is crazy. There's a. documentary called White Boy and it's. one Yeah, that's the one with McConna, which is a good movie. Um. >> MCA was in the movie. >> Yeah, MC plays his dad. My uncle knew. him knew the actual guy. He said he was.

like said he was kind of a [ __ ] He. would sell guns very obviously out of. his basement. >> They live like two blocks over. >> So, is this guy alive now? Oh, he's. still alive. Yeah. >> And is he out? Is that White Boy Rick? That's him. >> That's him now. He got out. >> just a few years ago. >> Jesus Christ. >> So he was in there from. >> How old is he now? >> Oh, I don't know. Well, he went in in. the 80s. So. >> Oh my god. >> And I think he got out around 2020. So yeah, if you if you see the. documentary White Boy, I highly.

recommend. Yeah. See, a teenage drug. informant for the FBI, but then they. denied ever talking to him. >> Look at it. is uh above where the Eminem. picture is. White Boy Rick releases his. own marijuana strain. >> Yes. That's the good thing about Detroit. now is it's all like insanely legal. >> That's funny. >> Yes. >> Freeway Ricky Ross is doing that in LA. >> Is he really? >> Yeah. Freeway Ricky Ross who was selling. the drugs that in LA that paid for the. contressas. >> Oh, that's awesome.

>> He's got his own weed line now. I know a. few guys who were like heavy busted in. the late 90s and now they all have. stores and it's just hilarious to me. >> You would think that they would shy away. from that. >> No, they just smoked even after. I was. like still okay. But but my saying is my. thinking is it's still federally. illegal. >> It is. >> like to open up a store and have that. your primary source of income, a. schedule one drug according to the. government. That seems risky as [ __ ] for. someone's already been inside.

>> Oh, dude. It really Well, it's odd that. they could get the right like the permit. for it. >> I know. >> Or at least they know someone who got. the permit for it and they work there. So, maybe I shouldn't let out too much. Yeah. >> Their grandmother or something. >> Yeah. That's who owns the store is a. 95year-old lady. >> But if you go to parts too, it's like. weed store, weed store, vape store, weed. store. You're like, I can't believe you. pack this many into a block. >> It's not like a liquor license that. takes forever to get. It seems pretty. easy. We've all joked about stalking. each other online, but let's not forget.

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can get four extra months free if you. tap the banner or go to. expressvpn.com/rogan. That's expressvpn.com/roganogen. And if you're watching on YouTube, get. your four free months by scanning the QR. code on screen or by clicking the link. in the description. I wonder if there's. like weed store wars. >> There's got to be, dude. >> There must be. They're fighting over. profits. If they're all on the same. street together. >> Well, I was just in uh Albuquerque last.

weekend and they had the same thing. where I'm like, "So, it's weed store, massage parlor, vape store, buy here, rent here, car lot, buy here, pay here, weed store, weed store, weed store.". It's crazy how how legal it is in a. state. >> Yeah. It all depends on the state. Yeah. Right. >> In Texas, it's just medical. And I think. you have to have AIDS. I think you're. basically dead. >> Yeah. They only wanted to give it to the. bad bad AIDS people. >> They're expanding that though. They're. looking at expanding that. If the.

federal government just changed the. designation or distinction or whatever. you would say it is, like from schedule. one to schedule three or something like. that, which is reasonable, that's what. they should do. Well, the whole thing is. ridiculous. And that's how you get. organized crime. I mean, >> look at prohibition. Detroit was one of. the first places to have it when uh it. was 3 years before they actually made it. nationally outlawed. >> And that gave birth to the Purple Gang. who Capone was even afraid of. And I. mean, those guys were [ __ ] ruthless. And they would just go over to Canada.

cuz it was right across the river. And. they would just either take a boat or in. the winter they would drive. And of. course they'd send some underling to. drive to figure out how heavy the ice. was. So they knew if they put that many. kegs in a thing you you'd die. So. there's just model T's at the bottom of. the river. >> Really? >> Yeah. Dude, it's cool. A lot of the old. mansions still have the tunnels that. will lead out into the river that the. bootleggers used to use. >> Wow. >> It's really fascinating. >> So Canada never went prohibition, huh? >> No. And it was right there. Like you. could throw a rock. >> You just take a drive to Toronto.

>> Exact. Yeah. Just go right. >> Yeah. >> Civilized person. Well, they have legal. weed up there, too. >> The whole country. >> Yeah, this is one of them. >> Look at that Model T at the bottom of. the river. >> And this was a guy who's like, "I got a. whole bunch." And then halfway. >> That's [ __ ] bad. >> The ice went out. Yeah, dude. They were. The purple gang was ruthless, man. >> I never heard of that before. >> They were the first They were probably. the first Jewish gang. They had Irish. members as well. They were the Bernstein. brothers. Their parents owned a shoe. store. And like the legend is they were. called purple because that was the color.

of rancid meat. So they hated the name. because they thought it sounded gay, but. they still like they still ran with it. But when you see pictures of them all. lined up in like mug shots, like they. they would do stuff like walk up to. somebody and be like, "Hey, I like your. ring." And he'd be like, "Thanks." And. then a guy would just like cut the. dude's finger off and he would take his. ring. >> Like they were like the level of cruelty. these guys would inflict on people to. take over a city was next level. >> Wow. Never heard of this before.

>> Yeah, dude. Even co even uh uh Capone. wouldn't mess with him cuz he was over. in Chicago and needed some of these guys. to supply the liquor. >> Wow. And the purple gang ruled Detroit. So is that a documentary where it says. the purple gang? >> They have they that might be um they did. a mob museum thing on it I went and saw. in Vegas. Like that book right there, the organized crime in Detroit. That's a. great book and it's got a lot of fun. photos. But yeah, they were they were as. ruthless as you could absolutely get.

>> Go to that first picture in the upper. lefthand corner and make it big. >> Look how look at their faces, man. >> Yeah, none of them are happy. >> Those are hard looking dudes. >> Yeah, they had a rough rough life. So. they a lot of them were just like stray. kids that were Irish that were just. abandoned by their parents and then the. rest were these Jewish kids whose. parents owned a uh shoe store. >> Wow. And I mean eventually they. dismantled the Italians took over but. you know during prohibition they.

reigned. >> Wow. Yes. >> Never heard of that before. >> It's a really cool story that I've. always wanted to see in a movie and. nobody's been able to execute it and I. would love to see it cuz. >> maybe somebody will now that you just. got the story out. >> I hope people do cuz it's such a cool. story. >> It sounds crazy. >> Like the level of Detroit mob too that's. been around is just it's wonderful. I I. shouldn't say wonderful, but I love it. Like just crazy. >> Yeah. Like they were nice to my dad and. stuff when he was young and you know,

like when he had gotten back from NAM. and you know, they're just nice people. that I knew. >> Well, nice people that kill people. >> Yeah. You know, I kill bad people. >> Yeah. The um the but the thing you said. that so important is that like. prohibition all it does is prop up. organized crime. And the fact that we. still do it, it's just it's just for. optics. It's just because people's like, "I don't want legal drugs on the streets. and my kids getting hooked on drugs.". Drugs are here. They're here. If if your. kids go to a club, if your kids go to a.

bar, if your kids are partying, drugs. are there. They're they're a real thing. You you you'd be way better off if drugs. were legal. And then you knew exactly. what you were getting because these kids. are getting fentinyl because I had this. guy Ed Calder around the other day who's. a expert in the cartels and he said they. started adding fentinyl because they had. grown so many poppies that the soil had. been depleted. So the heroin was very. weak. So to make the heroin more potent. they started adding fentinyl. >> Is that what it was?

>> And the desire for all that stuff was. all because of the Sackler brothers. So. the Sackler brothers when when they. created this opiate crisis in America. which did not exist before where. everybody's hooked on these [ __ ]. pills then they start cracking down the. laws. So now you have a demand and you. don't have a supply and then along comes. the cartel and starts making pills and. they start making pills with fentinyl in. them because their heroin is not that. strong. >> Xanax, Percoet, all these things that. kids don't know they're taking. That's. the [ __ ] part. So. >> yeah, they make it look just like the.

real pill. Oh, I know what those are. Oh. yeah, you get those pressed zany that. look just like a bar and it's just. complete fentinel. >> And I when I remember when fentinel I. shouldn't say first came out, it's been. around, but it first started becoming. they put it in products you weren't. expecting. >> And I had like three friends die within. a matter of maybe 4 months. And that's. how I started noticing like well this is. going to get serious. And now uh like. there's a site see it's like called. every 11 minutes and that's when or.

every every 11 seconds and that's how. long it takes for someone to OD on. fentanyl in this country. >> So every 11 seconds a new person is. overdosing on. >> fentanyl. Wow. And all because of our stupid laws. And. I'm not saying. >> I'm not saying legal heroin would be. good for everybody. It's not it's not. good to do heroin. I think everybody. would agree that. Well, yeah. >> No, >> I did it before once. It was good.

>> Was it? >> Oh, yeah. >> What was it like? >> Did you shoot it or snort it? >> Uh, I snorted it. Uh, no, sorry. I. snorted it and then I smoked blacktar. heroin and one time I shot it. So, three. >> Wow. What was the best one? The shooting. it. >> Yeah. >> That's why they do it. >> That was in That was majestic. >> Was it? >> Yeah, dude. >> What's it like? >> The most calming. Wonderful. I God, this. is sounds like I'm promoting it also. with my voice. Like, it's the most. calming, wonderful sensation you've ever. had. You're going to love it, kids. It. felt amazing. Like, you every problem.

you've ever had is gone and you feel. nothing but euphoria, which is different. than like oxy and some other stuff, which kind of just makes you feel. >> to me loose and tired. >> I mean, this makes you tired. You're. crashing out, but you're also getting a. feeling that was really, really like. warm and exciting. M. >> like I only smoked crack once on. accident and that was. >> How do you do that on accident? >> They put it in a joint, right? So we're. sitting on my friend's back porch and he. gives me fersheies on the joint and I. hit it and it had like a weird sizzle.

and I hit it. I'm like, "This is the. best pot I've ever had in my life." And. he's like, "Yeah, they gave me free. crack." And I was like, "Oh, good." So. I'm now high on crack. My other friends. are pissed. They go and throw the joint. in a sewer and I'm just sitting there. like and it doesn't last very long, but. it felt really [ __ ] good. Like I. immediately would have done more crack. had there been the option, but it. definitely takes you over very quickly. >> Did you ever see the Hunter Biden thing. recently where he did this interview. where he's talking about how great Crack. is. >> Oh yeah, he's spot on.

>> It was the best ad for crack I've ever. seen in my life. And you only did like. one hit, right? >> I did once and then I'm done. Like very. rare. When they threw it in the sewer, did you want to go get it? >> Yes. I wanted to go I wanted to go back. to Wayburn where the street where we got. it and I was like, "We should go get. more crack." Guys, I don't know if you. you didn't feel this, but it's. >> I think you're probably the No, you're. not the first person I've talked to that. shot heroin, but the first person who. described it. >> Oh, it was my friend Jay had it and it.

was in high school. >> Yeah, it was a It had to be better to. get people to shoot it up. There's the. only way it could be to get people to. that kind of commitment. Get a needle, find a vein, get a [ __ ] rope, tie off. your arm. >> It was awful that part. >> Yeah. >> And then then it wasn't. >> Did you do it with a guy? >> Yeah. >> So, he had done it before. >> He did it for me. Yeah. >> He died of a heroin overdose in his. parents' kitchen. Yeah. I know. You. wouldn't expect it. >> What a shocker.

>> Found his head between like the the. fridge and the stove. >> Got stuck. >> I think he was either looking for. something or collapsed right there. Oh. boy. >> Yeah, it wasn't good. >> Nice guy. >> I knew this dude um in the '9s. His name. was Water Dog. Okay. >> He was a professional pool player, like. a really high level professional pool. player, and he was a heroin addict. And. he would go into the bathroom. Uh like I. saw him play straight pool, which is. this game where you're just running.

balls like you it's called 14 in one. >> It's what they played in the hustler. So. you have instead of like eight ball. where the ball's in the center, you you. have a soft break where you're just. trying to not scatter the balls very. much. And the idea is to eventually. someone makes a mistake and you leave an. open shot and that person runs out that. rack, leaves one ball on the table, makes that ball and collides the Q ball. into the rack and opens up that rack and. then keeps going. And a really good. player can run like two 300 balls.

>> Yeah. So, this guy was playing for. $10,000 in the 90s. It was a lot of. money and I was I was broke, so I. couldn't believe anybody could play pool. for $10,000. This guy goes into the. bathroom, shoots up, comes out, and sits. on this uh this bar stool like this. Just sits there for like 20 minutes, man. Just sat there. And then we were. all watching him like his arms are all.

curled up like this and then he got off, screwed his queue together and never. missed. When I say never missed, I mean. it was the craziest display of pool I. think I had ever seen at the time. He. played like the greatest pool player. that's ever played. He had no nerves. He. He couldn't be rattled. The guy he was. playing, this guy George the Greek, who's this degenerate gambler, was a. really good player, too. was screaming. and yelling at him. This [ __ ]. he can't play without the [ __ ] He's got.

to have that [ __ ] to play. He didn't. give a [ __ ] He was listening to him. yell. He had eyeballs. His His pupils. were like the size of quarters. >> Yeah. >> And he didn't miss. He just was firing. balls in with like perfect accuracy. He. got perfect position on every ball. It. was wild to watch. >> He was just fully heroined up just. running out the table like like he saw. it in advance. like he was looking at a. math problem that was easy to solve. >> and he's just basically slow Eddie and. coming back and just knocking it all in.

like that's but it's never been like a. performance-enhancing drug but to that. guy. >> for nerves. >> this is the thing I think if you're. that's a good point. >> if you're playing for $10,000 and you're. basically homeless he was basically. homeless I mean he would like sleep on. people's couches he would and so with a. guy like that you'd get a backer so a. bunch of gamblers would come in and then. they'd come up with the money and and. they'd go in with you and you'd get a. cut of it. So, if you won, maybe you get. 40%, they get 60% cuz they put up all. the money. So, it's a free shot at 40%.

of $10,000. >> And for a guy like that, he's got no. money. He's staying in flop houses and. he always had the same shirt on like. >> like a throwaway sweater with a. Christmas tree on it. Like he always. looked like [ __ ]. >> But I watched him play some of the. greatest pool I've ever seen played in. my life. >> That's incredible. >> On this really tight pocketed table, too. The table the table was like a real. trick table. Table one at Executive. Billiards in White Plains, New York. It. was a trick table. >> Yeah. >> It was like you had to be really good to. play on that table and that's why George. wanted to play him on that table cuz it.

was hard and he was used to it. That was. like his home turf. He played on it all. the time. And this [ __ ] never. missed. Heroined out of his mind. He had. no nerves. >> He George would like yell in his face. He'd be like this. >> Nothing. >> Didn't feel a thing. Didn't feel a. thing. It just it never missed. >> That's what it is. There's no problem to. you anymore. There's no It takes away. every worry you have. >> So, I ran into him years later. Okay. There's a a pool tournament in uh so. this is when I was probably 23. I was.

living in New York and then I moved to. LA and then um I'm like 27 28 now and. I'm playing in this tournament at Hard. Times Billiards. Hard Times was like the. pool hall in the country back then. like. all the world class professionals, all. the Filipinos, the best players in the. world. >> Sounds familiar, actually. >> Crazy place. It was an amazing place. I. used to love going there on I'd play in. the Sunday tournament. So, I get down. there and uh I see Water Dog. I go, "Hey, man. What are you doing out here?". Cuz he's a Connecticut guy. He's from.

Connecticut. >> Yeah. >> And he's like, "Uh, I'm going to play in. the tournament, but I don't have any. money." I go, "I'll put you in the. tournament." Goes like it's like I. remember what it was, like 50 bucks or. something for this guy. I'm like, "You. might win this [ __ ] thing." He goes, "But I got to go get my shit." I go, "Okay, go get your shit." He goes, "I. need a ride." I go, "Where do you need. to go?" And he's like, "South central.". I'm like, "I'm not driving you to South. Central LA so you can score heroin. You. out of your [ __ ] mind.". >> Like, don't worry. It's just. >> And he was like, "Dude, you won't get. caught." I was like, "You can't say. that." I go, "First of all, if you get.

caught, you know, they take your car.". And I had a nice car at the time. I had. a Toyota Supra. Was pretty excited. about. >> Yeah. >> I was like, "I'm not driving my brand. new Toyota Supra to [ __ ] the the. crack house so you can buy heroin. central. >> This is crazy. But they they arrest. people all the time doing that and they. take their cars. That was like that was. like the scam. They compound your car. and then they auction it, >> right? >> I was like he's like that won't happen. I'm like you [ __ ] what? >> Yeah. >> So he I I go, "Look, I'll put you in the.

tournament if you want to play, but I'm. not taking you." I go, "If you can get a. cab there or something, go." Right. >> So he just did it straight and he. couldn't make a ball. He was really. Yeah, he lost two matches in a row. He. was out. >> Oh, damn. >> Yeah. >> NFL fans, week one just became your. place to play free and grow the bag. DraftKings Pick Six, an official partner. of the NFL, is here with Bag Builder, a. completely free way to play for a share.

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>> No. No, I gave him like whatever the. entry fee was for the tournament. >> Oh, I got you. Okay. >> But uh you know, I wasn't you know, >> you were probably like not today. I. don't think. >> Well, I was just like tired of him. telling me to go to South Central to get. heroin with them. >> Well, yeah. And that's a good way to get. carjacked on top of if it's just cops. I. mean, that was very popular to do that. >> Cute little white boy who's on TV. >> Yeah, dude. That's how they got cars. >> Not only that, it's the I would actually. be buying the heroin. >> Oh, was this during Fear Factor or. >> No, this was during news. News Radio. So.

I would be buying heroin because I would. have to pay for it because he didn't. have any money which is why he didn't. have any money to get into the. tournament. So like I would have to p I. would be buying heroin. >> Yeah. >> In South Central. radio. >> There was no TMZ back then so it. probably wouldn't have even made the. news if I got arrested. No one would. have cared. >> Yeah. I guess that's true. I don't know. >> No one would have cared. I was uh. >> they just think it was Andy Dick and let. it go. But even Andy Dick wasn't getting in. trouble back then. Not really. It wasn't.

making the news. Our show wasn't popular. enough that anybody cared. And I was. only one of eight people on the cast, right? >> So, I wasn't a star. So, I could go. anywhere. And every now and then, someone would go, "Hey, you're that guy. from that show. Hey, what's up, it was. pretty easy to get around back then, >> which is great if you're on an NBC show. I mean, good or bad, but you're getting. the money and you don't have to deal. with all the shit." Well, it was it was. really good preparation for what I have. to deal with today. Yeah. Because it was. like a slow trickle of fame to the point.

when when you get really famous, it's. like, "Oh, I know what this is. This is. a trick, >> right?". >> Like, don't don't get sucked into the. trick. >> But back then, um, you know, so if I got. arrested, it probably would have just. been I would have probably had to do. some time or something. I probably would. had to like plea out or do community. I. probably would have explained what. happened. Maybe they listened to me. I'd. be like, "Please drug test me. I've. never done heroin.". >> Yeah. >> I'm not. But even though you're still. buying heroin, so it's still a felony. >> Well, it was a time where they were more. lax on all those laws, too. I mean, not.

lax, but lacks with penalties, I should. say. Yeah. >> Because it wasn't as public cuz I mean, even like Robert Downey Jr., who I I do. greatly admire actually cuz I'm in. recovery as well. But even with him, it's like you had to go into your. neighbor's house and fall asleep in a. kid's race car bed and people were like, you know, maybe you should do a little. time behind bars. >> Yeah. Well, he was a repeat offender and. he, you know, probably jail was a wakeup. call for him. I love that guy. He's. great, too. >> And it's become Iron Man. So, to watch. that trajectory is absolutely. astonished. It's incredible.

>> Wish I could get him off that vegan. diet, though. Looks like he's [ __ ]. wasting away. >> Yeah, that doesn't look good on anybody. >> Not real. >> No, >> you're trying to be kind, but you're. just supporting monocrop agriculture, which kills more animals than anything. >> Yeah, I don't want my superheroes vegan. >> Well, he's a nice guy. That's what it. is. Nice people want to do kind things. and you know and sometimes you get roped. into a shitty decision making. You. getting all your protein from soy. >> and they're like why do I have tits? Like why am I lactating?

Why am I always crying? >> I'm very emotional all the time. >> And now they're banning lab grown meat. So like they they can't even go to that. which I I mean. >> it's good right? I don't know. I don't. know enough about the dangers of lab. grown meat. I don't know. >> I ate a Beyond Burger once cuz. >> that's not labe That's horseshit. >> It was awful. >> Those are terrible. >> Those they they're in trouble because. those people like their stockholders all.

[ __ ] went crazy because they thought. they were going to make money off that. They're like, "This is it. We made it. It tastes just like a burger. Everyone's. going to love it. Cruelty-free." No, it. gives rats cancer. >> Oh, good. You ever seen this study on. these because essentially it's just it's. the most highly processed [ __ ]. available. Look, if you want to be a. vegetarian or a vegan or whatever, eat. vegetables. Eat organic vegetables. That's healthy. But when you want to.

pretend that something's a hamburger, it's a trans burger. You have to It has. to go through a lot. Just like a trans. person has to go through. You want to. get a vagina, guess what? You need. general anesthesia and you have to have. a guy who's going to cut your dick in. half and use an apple core to make you a. vagina. And then you're going to have to. take a rubber dick and keep it in there. so it doesn't close up. >> You're getting the patty that basically. shoots up a school. It's all just filled. with nonsense.

>> It's bad for you. Yeah. >> It's all bad for you. And it's it's not. even satisfying. It's f It's not good. Like when uh my friend Duncan, you know. Duncan Duncan Trussel? >> Yes. Yeah. He was living in North. Carolina and uh he sent me a picture. during the pandemic. He was like, "Look, this is all that's available." And all. the meat had been gone and it was just. Beyond Burgers. That's all that was left. Everybody had. bought all the hamburger, all the. steaks, all the chicken, and it was just. this [ __ ] [ __ ] fake meat.

>> Well, yeah, cuz at the end of the day, you kind of have to know it's [ __ ]. Well, I think in the beginning, like, didn't Kevin Hart have a a restaurant. where he was just selling all vegan. food? People do it because they think. they're being a good person. That's what. it is. >> Sure. >> Yeah, I get it. I get I get the I the. sentiment behind it. But. just eat vegetables. If you really want. to go that route, just eat vegetables. But guess what? Don't go that route. It's not good for you. >> Well, no. We're not designed to do that. >> No. And I'm not saying I have the.

healthiest diet, obviously, but it's. like, yeah, I like steaks. I like meat. I just And. >> probably the only thing keeping you. alive. >> Probably the only thing I get. Yeah, I. eat a lot of dyes. I get a lot of. migraines. A. >> lot of dyes. A lot of that red red 40. that they try to get rid of. >> Yeah, that was another hilarious thing. when RFK Jr. was saying that they had to. get rid of the red die 40. And they're. like, well, if we do, what will happen. to our business? Meanwhile, the same. business is selling this same cereal to. Canada without the diet because in.

Canada it's illegal, >> right? Oh, this the amount of stuff that. I we looked at like our entire breakfast. as a kid was just cancer. That's the. only thing they advertised on TV. >> Just have a big sugary bowl of cancer. and some toast with. >> diabetes too waiting for you. >> God. >> Yeah. It's It was nuts to think the. amount of cuz I'm just the microwave. generation of like, "Yeah, just throw. that in the microwave. We can just pour. a bowl of this [ __ ] that lasts 45 years. in the cupboard.".

>> For us, it was TV dinners. A frozen TV. dinner. You put it in the oven. >> and next thing you know, you're eating. Salisbury steak. Yum, yum. >> M. And those wonderful potatoes. >> Yeah, those little fluffy potatoes. They're in that little tin. >> And occasionally the worst brownie. you've ever had. >> It's not a good brownie. I used to love. those little TV dinners. I just think it. was a treat when we ate TV dinners. >> Oh, yeah. That's how I was at my house. >> There's no vitamins in that. >> No, you you never felt full. >> You felt gross, but you never felt full. >> It's just you think about I mean, even.

the food pyramid, I mean, how crazy is. it that in the 20th century they had it. totally wrong with all the access to. books, all the information we had about. health and nutrition, they were so. wrong. Even with the food to the bottom. of was all the [ __ ] that gives you. inflammation. What the foundation is. this inflammation causing bread. >> Like what you need here is mostly wheat. You have to make sure you get 18. servings a day of white bread. >> with bromate in it. You want to get a.

lot of that. You want to get a lot of. folic acid sprayed on it. Enriched flour. is better. >> Yeah. Here's sugar. That's in there for. some reason. 2 ounces of protein. Make. sure you grab that. >> Sugar, dog. Two. everything. >> Everybody had type two diabetes when I. was a kid. They just didn't know it. >> Oh, yeah. Well, everybody's getting it. now. It's still constant. >> I know. It's There's never been a time. where poor people are so fat. No, like. starving people are obese. That's what's. crazy. Like, you can't get nutrition in.

your body, but you also have to sit down. to get groceries in a cart. >> or go to Disneyland. >> Yeah. That's. >> Disneyland is the place you find them. all. >> Yeah. And it's like, why? Like, you're. >> Because they get the carts for you. They. have carts set up there for you cuz it's. a lot of distance you got to cover. >> You do? Yeah. >> A lot of parks. >> I just don't see the enjoyment of a. ride. >> Any rides? >> Well, I mean the ride, not the ride you. get for free to go from ride to ride, but the actual ride. No, I love rides. myself. But if I weighed 400 lb, I may. not enjoy it or.

>> Yeah, that would take a lot of the love. out of it. >> It would, wouldn't it? It. >> wouldn't fit in those seats. >> Especially if you're with your kid and. the bar comes down and that one has no. protection, >> right? The kid's [ __ ] The kids just. going to pop right off the top cuz. you're so fat. >> Exactly. >> Right. Right. There's like this much of. a gap. >> You've seen those people where and the. kid's like looking at his mom all. nervous. >> You should be [ __ ] nervous. You. should be terrified. I used to think. that when I got on ski lifts. I'm like. this is crazy. >> They just let you sit on this thing way. way way above the mountain.

>> Oh. And people would fall off all the. time. >> Yeah. >> Cuz they think it would be funny to jump. or what? That was always. >> always bad. Like we didn't have mountains in. Michigan, but we did have big enough. hills. Like I went skiing. We did a lot. of skiing when we were really young. And. then I went down a it was like a double. black diamond I think they're called. >> Yeah. I was like, I got this. And my ski. got stuck in a soft mogul and I just. went down it on my face. >> It looked like eight dudes beat the [ __ ]. out of me. Like I was just like all. scarred and bleeding. And then I just.

didn't ski much after that. >> I got a concussion a few years back and. I stopped skiing. I'm like I'm done. I. got a concussion and I got what's called. an insufficiency fracture in my shin. Some lady didn't know how to ski and she. slid into the trail like sideways like. doing this thing and I I had two. choices. Either destroy this lady or. wipe out hard and I took the second. choice and got a [ __ ] I banged my. head off the the ground. >> Oh [ __ ]. >> It was bang. I heard this and I had a.

helmet on but it was still the the bang. was loud and I was dizzy for the rest. I. 100% got a concussion and I was I didn't. feel right for the rest of the day and. then I was like I'm done. This is not. worth the thrill. Everybody I know has a. torn ACL from it. A concussion. My. grandpa died. >> Oh god. I'm sorry. Yeah. Oh no. Oh, I. didn't know you. Yeah, but they do. >> They all have stories. >> Well, yeah. They all have this like. somebody knows a sunny Bono who just. like launched right into a tree of a. mighty oak. >> It's not worth it.

>> No, dude. I I just never enjoyed it that. much. And when I tried snowboarding, I'm. like, I sucked at skateboarding and was. a poser at that. Why am I even. attempting this? >> Snowboarding, you're attached to that. [ __ ] too. At least with skis, the. skis pop off. >> Yeah, you can get away. >> The board's coming with you when you. fall. >> I know a lot of people got knocked out. snowboarding because the feet go up in. the air. Yeah. You know, like something. happens, the feet go up in the air and. you're head first. Dude, my son does it. and he's 10 and I let him, but he's he's. pretty good at it. But I've I always get.

very nervous when he goes to do it. But. he's good with I mean, he's a very good. athlete. >> The good thing is little kids have less. weight and when they're falling, it's. not as painful and then they're all. flexible and pliable than. >> Dude, he broke his arm. It was crazy. And he was better in like it was like. eight days. It was like Wolverine. Like. how did you how did you do this? Like I. tore my was it meniscus, ACL, blew off. half my kneecap. >> Oh boy. >> And uh yeah, I was making fun of my. friend uh and then he tackled me uh and.

we were on a lenolium floor with keg. beer. >> Oh no. >> So instead of uh in instead of going to. the hospital when it was in a lot of. pain, I'm like, I'll just wait till the. morning. And I had my friends carry me. around this party. And then the next. morning, I'm like, yeah, this isn't. moving at all. So my friend Jimmy drove. me to the hospital and dude it was like. out of a like sitcom. Like doctors. opened up a door into my leg. He wheeled. me into a drinking fountain on accident. Like I broke my leg more just trying to.

get into the hospital and then by the. time I got to in for them to do the. surgery they're like what happened? I. couldn't be like I was drunk at my. friend's house. You know I was like oh I. slipped on ice. It was winter. I was. walking to my car and they're like, "This is a lot of damage for just. slipping on ice cuz I just twisted it. all night." And I should have known. I. mean, my foot was like behind me. >> Oh god. >> When I did it, like my knee just is So I. have rods in my right knee. So I just. try. >> Oh, really? You have rods to keep it. together. >> Three. Yeah. >> Wow. It was that bad?

>> Yeah. Like you can hear it pop sometimes. when I walk. It's pretty nice. >> Does it hurt? Uh sometimes, but not not. as bad as you think it would. If I'm. like doing a treadmill for a long time. or if I do something where we're just. outside like because I'll go hiking or. whatever. Like my wife likes it. >> So, we'll do that. But I like it that'll. hurt after maybe a couple miles, but not. like a severe pain, but. >> which is annoying. >> Yeah, that's fine. >> Yeah. And you can like weather messes. with it in the sense, but nothing. >> crazy. >> Do they Is there an option to take those.

rods out? Because I know a lot of them. they put them in there so that the bones. heal correctly, right? >> Yeah, there might be. I mean, it's been. 25 years. I'm sure there's been. advancements in it and I just don't. bring it up. >> I bet your bones are just grown around. it now. >> I'm sure it's destroyed. They're. probably like, "Why didn't you come in. and be like, "You didn't you didn't. bring it up either.". >> Yeah, I know a guy who broke his arm and. the screws from the plate that kept his. arm together were popping through his. skin. So, he had a had another. operation. And they opened up his arm.

again and took the plate out and cuz the. arm had healed like the bones had fused. but then the plates and the screws. started backing out. >> That's. >> through his skin poking through his. skin. >> That's what happened to my son and it. sucks cuz he was like six and him and. his friend were hanging out at at his. friend's house and they had like a slide. that was 8 ft in the air and they both. decided to jump off of it. >> Oh god. >> And he landed funny and he's a little. kid so I was at my friend's mom's. funeral. I like rush back to get him. It's the worst thing in the world when. it's your kid. It's just the worst.

>> But yeah, we made sure like he got the. screws out. He got the right like. everything went fine. But the way. >> sexy heels so. >> dude he it was honestly like he they cut. the cast off like two weeks before they. were supposed to cuz he's like I can go. like this. >> I'm like that's amazing cuz I remember I. would like go to bars still and I was. still underage but I was still going to. bars with like a cast on. >> Oh boy. like a full-blown knee brace and. I, you know, I'm wearing like tracksuits. and like I had chains and like earrings. I was that kid, you know. So, I just I'm.

like just like a raver stoner and I'm. just walking around with my crutches. >> That's hilarious. >> How long did it take before you could. walk again? >> Properly about 6 months now. >> Wow. >> Every now and then I do walk with a limp. because it just kind of goes out. So, >> does your friend still feel embarrassed. by this? >> No, I don't. I no it's one of those guys. you've known for so long it's he didn't. care then. I was saying stuff to him that kind of I.

deserved it so like I mean he he felt. really bad I shouldn't say that but no. he it's not anything the girl who owned. the house went nuts and she was so hot. and I always had a crush on her and. she's like your family's going to sue me. I'm like my family's not going to sue. any they don't sue people but we're not. going to sue you and like my I think my. dad had passed at that point and she's. like so freaking out cuz she would have. these wild Christmas parties every year. where it happened. >> Oh boy. >> And that ended the wild Christmas. parties and she's like, "Yeah, you never. sued." I'm like, "Yeah, why would I sue?

Cuz I'm stupid. Like it's it was my. fault." And then I just went out and. said, "Yeah, I fell on ice." Isn't that. a gross thing that people would just. sue? If they did something stupid in. your house, they would sue you. >> Dude, I've never never like I can. understand points where people have. >> It's just such a scammer mentality. >> It's a [ __ ] thing to do to anybody. It's. like somebody who like slips delivering. a package or any of that stuff. That's. that's possible. >> There was a lady that was um when my. kids were younger, there was this lady.

that was a single mom and uh her. daughter was playing with my daughter. and you know they come over the house. and she went out to another person's. house and um you know like they would. have playdates like kids do and she. wasn't there. So she comes to pick up. her daughter and there they have a dog. and the dog is a very friendly dog and. the dog you know it jumps up to like you. know dogs do that of course and scraped. her. >> with its claws just scraped her with its. claws. She sued the family for $50,000.

>> and one. >> and they they just settled they settled. because the do they they were informed. listen legal fees is going to be. probably $100,000. >> She wants $50,000. for this [ __ ]. [ __ ] All a dog did dog nails just. scratched her a little bit. Not even. like bleeding, nothing crazy, just. normal. Oh, your dog's crazy. Like where. you and I would be like, what a cute. dog. She was like, ooh, opportunity to. sue this family that's wealthy. Especially the fact that that's just. what they do there. It's and it's.

>> I remember when we were young, there. were two pitbulls that were at this. house behind a camp we were at and this. one kid was always throwing rocks at. them and we were like you shouldn't do. that cuz we like the dogs and uh the. camp had its own golden retriever and it. was fine with the pit but they'd run on. the fences and stuff. So we that's when. I first even started getting used to. dogs when I was young cuz I've always. liked dogs and I have too and I've had. tons. But I remember that the pitbull. once the kid stuck his finger through. the fence took off these two part these. two tops of his finger.

>> and like they sued they put the dog down. and we were like he's been chucking. rocks at those things all summer. Like. he's been antagonizing these animals all. summer. >> and I mean it sucks that it happens but. it's like. >> it sucks that your kid's stupid too. Yeah, it sucks that he was told not to. do it a bunch of times and then there. was a consequence to this shitty action. >> Also, how did you raise a kid that's. throwing rocks at dogs? Like, what's. what kind of a kid would throw rocks at. a dog? >> It's like the first thing you find that. has unconditional love for you. It's the.

first thing that like you trust in a. different way than a human. >> Did he have dogs? >> There's no way he did. I I don't. remember him. Well, I I remember the the. blood and the screaming, but I don't I. don't remember much about him other than. that. >> Weird handshakes afterwards. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I knew his penmanship wasn't very. good after. >> old stubs. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, man. >> Yeah. But he deserves. >> are tricky dogs, though. >> My brother's had ones where.

>> Yeah. He's. >> I've had a bunch of them. He's rescued a. couple and I've had friends who have. saved them in Detroit from fights. >> where cuz they would throw them in a. back alley the losers and sometimes my. friends would take them. >> and get them sewn up and keep them. But. those dogs specifically would kind of. only be left. >> to alone for the the owner like my. friend would keep it just for him like. locked up. >> Well, they're usually fine with people. >> Um the real issue with pit bulls is dogs. and children. They think of children as. animals. They don't know that a child is.

a person. At least it seems like they don't. because they attack kids. >> Well, and children don't know dogs are. animals sometimes. And that's kind of. how I treat with with my kids. Like you. have to understand that, >> you know, like when you're roughousing. or whatever, like there's a you got to. be real careful because it she may not. necessarily know what you're doing, you. know, and he learned that at a young age. and dogs love them, but. >> a lot of times kids can be really really. rough with dogs. >> Yeah, they can be. Sure. Especially if.

they don't grow up with them. They don't. know. when they're not taught. But the. thing is, like if you have a sweet dog, like I have a golden retriever, and if. my kids thought all dogs were like my. dog, and then they went up to another. dog and grabbed his face, that dog might. bite your [ __ ] face off. >> Yeah. And goldens are the best. Like. they're just designed to be the sweetest. animals on the planet. >> He's the nicest dog of all time. The. best pet ever. He's just just the homie. You come home, he's like, "Hello." He. wags his He always has to greet you with. a toy. Like as soon as I come in the. house, he grabs one of his toys and runs.

up to me with a toy, >> dude. It's the nicest feeling in the. world. >> Yeah, they're the sweetest dogs. He. cuddles with me when I watch TV. He. climbs up like literally like lies in my. lap, you know? He's 75 lbs. He puts his. [ __ ] head on my chest and he just. likes to be pat while I'm watching TV. >> Yeah. They just want to be with you. Yeah. >> It's the nicest thing. And I, you know, I had a Rottweiler and people are afraid. of those, but she was the sweetest dog. >> It's a lot of it is how you treat them, but but it's also the breed. It's also. the the the bloodline. Like if you get a. game bred pitbull and you expect it to.

be cool with other dogs, you're out of. your [ __ ] mind. That dog is designed. to fight dogs. >> Yes. >> You know, but if you get a good dog and. you train them well and teach them and. you know, it takes a lot of. responsibility. You know, like people. that run out and get like a German. Shepherd or a Belgian Malaminoa and. think they're going to keep it in their. yard. Like you just literally got like. an elite super athlete. >> for a pet, you know, and you just think. you're just going to leave it in the. yard and occasionally throw the ball to. it. The [ __ ] out of here.

>> That's not how it work. You never walk. it, so it's got a bunch of pent up anger. and energy. Exactly. Good for you. >> It's like a a high school kid that's. been left in a confined space. >> Yeah. See how it works when he comes out. >> into the real world. Bring him to a dog. park. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. >> Did you see that video of the dog parks? Some of them. >> What video? >> There's one video where a guy his dog is. attacking one dog and some dude runs up. out of nowhere and just shoves his. finger in one dog's ass. >> Oh, that works. >> Yeah, it did. But it was still the most.

ridiculous thing I' like. This guy just. runs in like he thinks he's Superman. Is. like I've got it. and just starts. >> Well, if a dog has a lock on another. dog, that's one of the only ways to let. them go. >> Is it cuz it works? >> I I hear it works. I've never done it, but. >> I've never tried it myself. >> Hoses work. When dogs would fight with. each other, you could hose them and a. lot of times they they'll let go. >> Yeah. >> They just freak out. You're getting hit. in the face with a jet of water. >> Yeah, that will do it. >> But, you know, the the really [ __ ] up.

thing is that people bred dogs for. fighting and they like to fight. They. when they fight, they wag their tails. Yeah, they're having fun. >> That's what's crazy. Yeah, you watch. them like literally chewing each other's. faces off and they're wagging their. tails. >> Well, like I had a border collie at the. same time as a Rottweiler and they were. both pretty, >> you know, they they both enjoyed. fighting each other. >> Fun. >> But they play fighting. >> Yeah. And you'd always just watch for. the tail waggling because they'd be. flipping each other over. And. >> like when we first got the Rot, we went. to a dog park cuz they were like newer.

to us in Michigan and this one dog just. kept coming up that was bigger than my. rot but kept kind of like messing with. her. >> Yeah. >> And then finally my rot grabbed her by. the neck and flipped this dog over and. was just like pinning it with her mouth. and then the dog gave up and was showing. its belly. And I'm like, "Oh fuck." I'm. like, "All right, we're going to leave. the dog park now." You know, like people. were like freaking out and screaming. >> But the dog kept like coming up and like. nipping my my dog until my dog finally. just like attacked back real quick.

>> Yeah. Which is what dogs do. They have. to establish dominance. >> That's what she did. >> I was at a dog park once and somebody. brought a wolf. >> Are you serious? >> Yeah. >> It was the wildest thing. All the dogs. >> got a wolf. >> All the dogs immediately knew it wasn't. a dog. >> Well, yeah. Some guy had one of those. 7/8 timberwolf dogs, you know, cuz you. can get them dogs where they're not. really dogs. It's a wolf. And this thing. just walked in and every dog was like, "That's not a [ __ ] dog." They all.

scattered. It was wild to watch. It was. big, too, man. It was really big. It was. like 100 plus pounds and just big. [ __ ] mouth. Big long mouth. And it. just looked like a wolf. And every dog. knew it wasn't a dog. It's all backing. in the corner. >> cuz wolves eat dogs. >> Oh yeah, they do. >> They knew. >> Yeah, >> they [ __ ] There was a thing like the. smell, the look, whatever. Every No dog. was sizing up with it at all. No, >> every dog just ran away. It was weird. >> Well, they they have that instinct. And.

that thing is like what dogs like that's. like if a caveman walked in, you know. what I mean? Like that's the original OG. of what we're supposed to be, right? This is not a wolf. >> Oh yeah, I've seen this video. This. video is wild. So there's all these dogs. are fighting, >> okay? >> And check out this one dog walks in and. he's the [ __ ] boss. And he's this. dog. Look, all the other dogs back the. [ __ ] away from him. >> Look, they all back away. This one dog. and he gets on that dog. Like look what.

happens. >> Oh, dude. Every one of them just acts. right. >> It's like John Wick of dogs. >> Yeah, dude. It's just. >> Look at this. The dog just lays down and. he just gets on top of him. >> I once saw this dog kill one of us with. a pencil. >> I have no idea what kind of dog that is. >> I don't know either. The the black one. It's got to be. >> the white one. The one that's dominant. >> The one right there. I mean Oh, the. black one was cowering. I was looking at. the wrong. >> dogo, I believe. >> Well, why don't you take a photo of that. dog and run it through Google image? >> The dog looks like Benji. Like they. probably just That's crazy.

>> Yeah. Like it's probably just knew it. had a hard life. >> My friend has a dog like that. That's a. a small It's a darker like a gray and. brown dog. >> and he takes it pig hunting and it's the. most savage [ __ ] dog I've ever seen. in my life. And it looks like that. >> Yes. This dog just chases pigs, >> which are. >> It's crazy. >> And pigs are tough. >> Oh, yeah. But this dog is just nuts, man. >> Dude, that's funny. >> What kind of dog is that? Come on, Chad. GBT. A mixed or breed or a mut based on.

appearance? Shaggy, wiry coat, body. structure. How crazy is AI? Wolfhound or. terrier mixes? Large size and sturdy. build might also suggest some central. Asian shepherd or kangle ancestry. Especially if the dog is used as a. livestock guardian. However, without a. clear look and more context like the dog. size, weight, or behavior, it's. difficult to definitively identify the. breed. It's likely a mix of working or. guardian breeds common in rural or. semi-ural areas. >> Yeah, that thing they just knew had it.

tough. >> Yeah, >> cuz it just came in and didn't give. [ __ ]. >> It's not even a big dog. That's what's. crazy. Like, yo, but that was kind of. what it was like when that wolf showed. up at the dog park. >> I All the other dogs were just like, "What in the holy [ __ ] is this?". >> Was it you? I think you were talking. about it. Maybe it I don't know. But. it's about a guy who trains wolves. >> and he was saying. >> I've had people on that work with. wolves. You can't really train wolves. >> Yeah. Like, but I think it was like the. movie The Gray, you know, like taken.

taken with wolves or whatever. And uh. like he said during it that he has to. fall down as the stunt man or whatever. So the second he gets home, one of the. wolves is going to try to take his spot. on top. So you got to like grab the wolf. and hold it up in the air and like. that's like the main thing to do to get. it to stop. But like every night he just. has to prepare himself for fighting a. wolf when he gets home. >> Oh Jesus. >> Which is crazy. >> That's so stupid. >> But I mean they all just they're they're. pack animals. Soon as you leave, they.

take the dominant spot. >> Yeah. You have a good day of filming and. there's just this wolf looking at you. the whole car ride home, seeing if he's. going to take like your [ __ ] once you. get home. >> I knew a dude who had three of those. three of those wolf dogs and he was a. piece of [ __ ] And they they got out of. his yard and killed the neighbor's sheep. and he lied about it. He's like, "No, my. dog. What? My dog." Killed like eight. sheep, >> dude. Yeah, it's your. >> cuz they just kill for fun. >> Yeah. >> Like, oh, there's just sheep that just. commit suicide. What? What? Mountain.

line. What did this? >> Well, there's coyotes and stuff where. >> Not like that though. That kind of. damage. Coyote would have a hard time. taking out a sheep. It would take a long. time. >> Yeah. But they grab small dogs like Oh, yeah. Like before co we like in Detroit. and like the suburbs, we never had. coyotes. Like it seemed like any of that. stuff. And then after you see them all. the time like I would walk out and. there' just be like a deer in my front. lawn. I'm like this is bizarre. >> in this part. And then Yeah. Now you. have ones that like hop fences and grab.

small dogs and jump away. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. They're everywhere now. They're in every They're in all 50. states and then they're they're in every. major city. >> Yeah. That's crazy. >> Yeah. They're a wild animal. I mean a. really interesting animal, I should say. Obviously they're wild. >> cuz when I first saw them, they'd be. crossing the street at night. I'd be. coming back from a gig and I'm like, "Is. that a is that a dog? Should I stop?". And then it's clearly just a coyote. >> Yeah. >> And I'd never seen them up close like. that ever. >> They're in Central Park. >> Are you Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah. >> I used to walk by there all the time.

>> That looks like what it is. That looks. similar. >> A Bosnian Barack. >> Bosnian brokenhaired. hound called Barack. Yeah, it looks. similar. >> Fights bears. That makes sense. >> That makes sense. >> Yeah, that would be it. >> That would make sense why all those dogs. like this [ __ ] is not playing, >> dude. He takes down grizzlies. >> He is not playing. >> Large game. >> Jeez. A scent hound. I saw this. >> Yeah, that's what my friend's dog looks. like. And it's a little dog and it's a.

girl and she's [ __ ] ferocious. >> and just has. >> Yeah, >> dude. A pig and a bear. >> Yeah, pigs are like wild pigs are some. of the most ferocious sounding animals. I remember the first time I ever went. hunting pigs. We were um going down this. dirt road and to the right of us was. like heavily wooded like high grass and. they were in the grass near us and then. they started fighting and it sounded. like demons like orcs like.

>> they were just going to war like like. maybe 10 15 feet from us in the but we. couldn't see them because of the tall. grass like. >> the sound was nuts. Like this sound is. insane. >> Where do you hunt them? >> This was in California. Okay. >> California where uh oddly enough they. think most of them came from William. Randph Hurst estate. >> cuz William Randph Hurst the same piece. of [ __ ] that. >> you know Orson Wells covered in the. movie Rose Bud the same reason why.

marijuana became illegal. that guy. William Randph Hurst had an enormous. estate and he had wild boars out there. on his estate and of course they got. free and now central California all that. area is like San Jose they have a giant. problem with them. >> really. >> Yeah. They like show up on people's. lawns and tear their lawns apart and you. wake up in the middle of night there's. 10 wild pigs on your [ __ ] front lawn. >> Holy [ __ ] Do they attack animals then? >> Oh yeah. They kill people. >> Really? >> Yeah. So one one old lady got killed by. wild pigs. What a way to go.

>> I know. >> [ __ ] dirty, filthy demons tearing. your face off. >> Not that it's funny, but I mean, you. just don't expect it. >> Kind of funny, >> you know. But yeah, they're all. >> How did grandma go? You're like, "Oh, she was torn to death by pigs. Wild ones. in her suburb. >> with this place that I was at. >> Culdeac. >> They, you know, they they hunt them a. lot and that's what we're doing." They. taste good. >> Yeah, I would imagine. I mean, it is. pork. >> Yeah, it's a different kind of pork.

It's like a darker meat. It's. interesting. Yeah. >> I've never had it. >> Yeah. Because they're, you know, they're. not eating just grain. They're eating. whatever the [ __ ] they find. And a lot. of acorns. That was a lot of it. They. had a lot of fat on them. That's from. acorn. They were delicious. >> What do you hunt them with? >> That time it was a rifle, but I bow. hunted them too. >> I was wondering if you did. Yeah. >> Yeah. Bow hunted pigs. But the thing is. like if you're bow hunting pigs and. you're shooting a wild boar, like a big. boar, probably should have a backup. Probably should have a pistol. >> in case it comes at you. >> And you should probably have one in the. chamber. So, as it's running at you, you.

just d you're going to have to it'll. charge you. Happens all the time. >> So, it's kind of because bears are like. that, aren't they? Like, if you shoot. one in the heart, it'll go 100 yards. >> Um, some bears. >> Okay. >> It if you shoot them in the heart, I. doubt they're going to go 100 yards, but. they might be able to cuz they can get. they can go 100 yards pretty fast. >> just on adren on adrenaline. >> Yeah. >> But, um, yeah, bears are I. >> was going to say adrenochrome. If you. hit a bear, like there is a distance. between you and them where it's like a.

fight orflight distance where they're. too close where they think that you'll. attack them and so then then you're in. trouble. >> Yeah. >> But if they're far enough away where. they think, "Oh, this not guy's not. going to chase me." And you can scare. them off, that can happen. >> Bears are tricky. >> Yeah. I've never Well, we had one bear. I mean, it was it wasn't hunting us. We. were just up in uh what do you call. them? The Smokies. Uh-huh. >> And it was just a vacation. And it says, "Don't throw food off the balcony." So, of course, the first thing my son does.

is throw a hamburger. And then all we. can hear is the woods start moving. And. we look down and I'm like, "There's a. bear.". >> And it's it I didn't know they climb. >> Uhhuh. >> So, the thing starts climbing up the. side of the house and eventually we just. kind of made enough noise or something. that it went back into the woods. But. I'm like looking around like, "We have a. gun, right?" And I was like, I think we. have one. Like, oh, that's good. Cuz. there's a bear climbing up the [ __ ]. house, dude. It was terrifying.

>> Yeah. If you have food left out, if you. have garbage left out, once they've. establish that that's a place where they. get food, they keep coming back. >> That's what I was Yeah. And first thing. he did was just chuck a hamburger out to. feed the animals. And I'm like, "Buddy, I told you." He's like four or five at. the time. >> And then like a couple minutes later, bear. >> Oh, >> yeah. Do you know the state that has the. most bears per capita in the in the. country? >> No. >> New Jersey. >> Is it really? >> Yeah. New Jersey has a crazy bear. problem. >> I did not know that at all. >> So, the governor of New Jersey ran on a.

platform of stopping the bear hunt cuz. people hunt bears in New Jersey. Cuz. people think of New Jersey, what you. think of these high density areas like. Hoboken, Hackinack, >> Atlantic City. >> That's not New Jersey. New Jersey is. mostly rural. >> And then you have those actual like. mountains. Yeah. Yeah. Well, uh, a kid. got killed out by Ruters. A bear ate him. and Ruters University student went for a. hike, >> got got taken out. Um, and bears became.

such a problem that the same governor. who ran on the stopping the bear hunt. and did stop the bear hunt when he came. in office, the population bmed so badly. without hunters that he reinstated the. bear hunt. >> Oh, did he? >> Yeah, he had to. The interactions. between humans and bears were going. through the roof. >> I was really hoping that story ended. with he got eaten by bears cuz that. would be just the perfect irony. >> Well, he probably had an encounter. A. lot of people that live anywhere near. them have encounters. Like there's a. video of Far Rockway, New Jersey. We.

played it many times on this podcast, but we'll play it again just for you. Okay. >> But there's these [ __ ] bears. They. look like four 500 lb bears and they're. fighting in the middle of a suburb and. they they they're essentially they're. going to war for garbage. So, like, you. know, they they claim either that or. maybe one of the females is in heat, but. there's these two [ __ ] huge bears and. they're falling downstairs and they're. out in the street. >> and then people are filming them from. their car. These are big bears, man. >> Are they uh brown bears, black bears?

>> They're all black bears in the United. States until you get into the upper. northwest. >> and then you see more of the grizzlies. >> You get You only get grizzlies in like I. So, look at these bears. >> Holy [ __ ]. >> Yeah, bro. [ __ ] normal house suburb. >> A couple bears real estate sign out. there. Look the size of these [ __ ]. dude. They knocked over the sign there. Whatever that was. That was a light, I. guess. Look, the electrical cords. >> Yeah, bro. They It spills out into the. street. These guys go to war for like 10.

[ __ ] minutes. How long is this video? 6 minute video. Look at this. They get. out. They show them all the when they're. out in the street. So, people are. filming them. These [ __ ] tumble down. the side of the hill. They're still. duking it out. >> I've seen them come down the street in. the same Yeah, same place. >> The size of these guys, man. >> Dude, look at that. Right by the. mailbox. Look at all the hair. They're. pulling each other's hair out. >> Crazy. >> Well, dude, that's just cuz their claws. on accident. The.

>> size of these [ __ ]. >> Imagine that goes across your face or. skin. You're done. >> He's so dead. Those are big bears, too, man. Dude, that guy's so nervous about his. Volvo. It's like, come on, don't don't go near. it, guys. >> Well, these people are so used to it. These people who live in this area. >> Yeah, you're right. A dude in a car just. was like, "All right, we got to wait for. it to. >> Yeah. >> fall into the shrubs and then I'm going. to gun it.". Hear those noises they make. You imagine your little kids walking.

home from school, >> sees two bears. >> and see two [ __ ] huge bears. >> and this is Jersey. >> Yeah. Far. Look, hear the cars. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Look, cars driving by. Oh, hi. guys. Stop. We're going to go get a. sandwich. >> Yeah. You know, we have bears now. >> Yeah. Far rock away. >> Holy [ __ ]. >> Yeah, >> dude. Yeah, that's. >> does not have the most black bears per. capita. >> Well, I thought it did. >> I kept googling it. It's not even. popping up in the top five or six. >> I would imagine for a. >> dense human population makes its high.

bear population a significant concern. for residents particularly in the. states. >> Dude, Ted Nent told me that. I I think. these people are wrong. The state's. forest covered northwestern regions of. one of the highest concentrations of. black bears in the nation with. approximately 3,000 bears. >> Dude, if Ted Nan told you that, I think. he's right. >> Yeah, >> the guy knows a thing or two. high. population density, concentration in the Northwest, increased sightings. The the the other. problem is they really don't have an. accurate number because in heavily.

wooded areas when you want to do like a. census on animals, >> you're sending out wildlife biologists. and they just have to count them. >> and there's no way they can really count. them correctly because there's you're. dealing with dense woods. And black. bears are particularly difficult to find. in the woods. They their their sense of. smell is insane. Their hearing is insane. and when they hear people they just get. the [ __ ] out of there. >> Yeah. Like in Michigan you've seen them. like they come down because you know. we're up by the upper peninsula and. they'll come you know can Canada and all.

that stuff but. >> um you do see them on occasion but I. guess they are becoming more and more. like they're moving more and more south. towards the cities now. >> Of course cuz nobody's hunting them. >> Yeah. Which I think we should. >> Yeah. You have to hunt them. >> Yeah. I mean it's why you control the. deer population. >> Yeah. It's like that's what people have. always known and you know somehow or. another liberals lost their minds and. thought it's a bad idea to control. predators. >> Yeah. >> Massive huge predators,

>> right? And it's like you realize that. like let's just say the deers alone. If. you don't control it, you just have. people smashing into them with their. cars all. >> that they're made out of food, >> right? For you to eat. >> You could go eat them. Deers are. delicious. And if you've ever been in. front of like one with horns, >> like I was in the Rockies, my friend was. all high. He gets out of the car. It's. like 20 years ago. And there's like I. don't know, it wasn't maybe it was a. deer, but like an elk or something. >> Probably had to be an elk. >> Yeah. >> Was it big? >> Yeah, really big. And he gets out like.

he's like, "I'm going to stand by and. take a picture." I'm like, "I don't. think you should do that." And even then. I'm like, "Terrible idea." And the thing. just lowers its horns at him and I'm. like, "Dude, get get back to the car.". And we're like in a jeep gunning it away. from this thing chasing us. There's a. guy that is uh in his car and he's. talking [ __ ] to this elk that's in the. in the street in Yellowstone and it. [ __ ] jabs his tires and takes his. tire out just doesn't even know it's. like [ __ ]. >> you hear. cuz it punctures his tire.

>> dude it just it just took him out the. way a cops would with like a strip. >> and then it's got horns just getting. ready to take you out. >> It just stabbed his tire. Oh, >> it's like you want to step outside now. >> The scariest ones are moose. If you ever. What's that? >> The. You have the video of him taking out his. car. Watch this. >> Oh boy. Look at the size of that [ __ ]. Woo! Dude, you have a tree growing out. of your head. A sharpened tree. >> Yeah.

>> Is it for the tire? Like it knows it's. looking trying to poke it. I don't know. if this is the one that uh cut the tire. The other one was coming from the other. side. It was coming from the driver's. side and the driver was talking [ __ ] to. it. But you get the point. >> I like that the driver was mocking an. animal. >> But the real dangerous ones are moose. >> Yeah, >> cuz moose will actually stomp you. They. they will go after you. >> There's a lot of videos of people who. think they're majestic and they're like. 8 feet away from them and it's like it's.

not bullwinkle. It's an animal in the. And then the next thing you hear is how. they were killed. >> Yeah. It's not just that. It's an animal. that's like really good at stomping out. Oh boy. Does this this guy get attacked? >> I don't know. Just it's title. Sometimes. you just don't. >> Dude, if I get an arrow, you got to you. really got to not miss. >> Yeah. Well, this is rough, too, because. he's coming straight at you and so you. don't have a really good shot at his. vitals. So, you have to take the most. risky shot, which is.

>> you you're taking a frontal. So what. you're essentially you have a very small. area you're targeting which is like the. end of his beard. Yeah. So his hair. comes down like you want to get it right. here. So what you're trying to do is. shoot this arrow through basically like. >> a softballsiz hole maybe a little larger. than a softball size hole and it'll go. straight through slice through the heart. the lungs everything. It's the most. deadly shot if you could land it right. >> But you got a 1,800 lb animal.

>> coming at you. You're shaking. >> It's huge. You're right in front of it. It's 30 yards. You're not sure that you. could hit that spot because your arms. are shaking. You're you're filled with. adrenaline. >> and you have to go for a softball size. spot on that thing. >> You really want it to be standing. sideways, but it's not standing sideways. cuz it's moving towards you in an. offensive way. You should probably just. get the [ __ ] out of there. >> Yeah, I would leave immediately. >> or get around a tree. You want to get. like where a tree is so you can stand.

behind the tree and like at least you. can kind of maneuver a little bit. >> Is their sight poor? >> Oh yeah. They don't have a good sight. >> So that's kind of like the better way is. to kind of. >> They're kind of dumb because they're so. big. They don't have to be smart. >> Yeah. >> You know, and they don't they don't have. herds. They're not like you don't see. herds of moose. You see a bull moose, they're generally by themsel or maybe. with one or two other ones. >> Okay. See, I did not know that. >> And then they come in and when they come. in, they're looking for [ __ ]. >> eyes that this one's staring at. Oh, that's you have a moose [ __ ] you in. the ass. >> Yeah. Staring right at you, dog.

>> Oh, dude. End with those eyes. Lustful. eyes. >> You also You better have a [ __ ]. powerful bow. You got to get into that. rib cage. Those ribs are thick as [ __ ]. >> So, that spot is underneath that like. beard and all that stuff that he's got. right there. >> It's right. >> But if you hit an animal there, they die. so quick. >> Really? See, Google. um frontal shot kill on elk. There's a. famous video of these kids bow hunting. and this elk comes in and it gives this.

kid a frontal shot and he takes it at. like 20 yards and the elk just stands. there and then blood starts spraying out. of it and it just tips over like right. where it stands. It was It's nuts. It's. the most lethal shot if you land it. correctly, but it's it's I'd never taken. it. It's a tricky shot. Like my friend. Cam Haynes, probably best bow hunter in. the world. >> Okay, >> he's taking frontal shots, but the last. time he took one, it was like at 10. yards. >> Is that guy out here? >> This isn't it. >> This is uh this is not a frontal. These.

are just Bill's fighting. Um Google this. is an elk. >> Oh, insane frontal shot. Okay, >> I guess. >> All right, so here we go. This isn't the. one. >> Nothing came Well, nothing came up when. I checked the thing you just said. I. >> So that's it. He got it right there. So, see see how it sprays? >> That was a perfect shot. >> Oh, >> perfect shot. He got it right. If you. watch where the impact is. Oh, that's. Cory Jacobson. >> Um, w watch where the impact of the. arrow is. It's right at the bottom of.

the beard. See where it is? Like right. at the bot. That's perfect. That's a. perfect shot. So, that goes into the. body cavity, severs all the arteries. That bull's dead in seconds. >> But this animal seems kind of like. >> spray. That's crazy. Yeah. This it. doesn't seem as aggressive though as. that moose. >> No, no, no, no, no. They're not. aggressive. They're looking for other. elk. Like he's looking for love. Yeah, >> that's what he's looking for. Looking. for love or a fight. >> Okay. >> Yeah, >> cuz the moose looks like he just wants. to kill the guy in the video.

>> or at least attack them, right? >> No, they'll kill you. They They will. kill you. I mean, I'm sure elk have. killed people before, but they don't. want to. A moose would chase you. >> Yeah, >> moose would chase you and stomp you. Especially a female moose that has her. her babies. >> That's not good. Yeah, >> you better stay the [ __ ] away from her, >> dude. Yeah. No, >> they will stomp you out of My buddy was. chased on horseback. He barely got away. from a cow moose. >> Seriously? Going after him? >> Yeah. Going after him because it had. calves with him with her and she was. protecting her calves and he was on a. horse and she looks at that horse like.

that's that might be an animal like that. wants to stomp my babies. And so she. full clip chased after him. He's like I. barely got away. >> Where was this at? >> Uh Edmonton. >> Oh. >> Was it Ed? No, BC. >> Okay. Yeah, >> that makes sense. >> Yeah, that's crazy. I I don't know. I. would I would be terrified if I had to. try to make that shot at a moose coming. at me that size. >> It's a sketchy shot capacity. >> It's a sketchy shot. And it depends on. what kind of broadhead you have, too. >> Can you do it with a gun? >> Oh, yeah.

>> Okay. >> Oh, with a gun, you could shoot them. anywhere. >> Yeah, I guess that's true. >> With a gun, you just you go through the. shoulders. >> I just didn't know if it was like maybe. arrow length or the reason it sticks in. or something, maybe. >> No, no, no, no, no. You should you could. definitely do that with a gun. The thing. about uh an arrow is you only have so. much energy like from a bow. So if like. you hit one of those big shoulder bones. like you're you're [ __ ] It's not. going to kill the animal. You're. probably barely going to feel it. So you. have to be behind the shoulder. >> You have to and then you you know if you.

don't have enough power if you center. punch a rib probably not going to get a. lot of penetration. So you have to have. a really powerful bow. And a lot of guys. stay away from mechanical broadheads. They want like a really solid fixed. blade broadhead. >> It's tricky kind of bow hunting. >> Yeah, that's cool though. >> You're bow hunting something that can. kill you. >> Yeah, which is. that's game. I mean, that's an exciting. thing. >> That's why people like bear hunting. >> Or unless you're the grizzly man guy who. just is one of my favorite movies ever.

because it's just. >> I'm convinced Wner Hzog Wner Herszog. made that movie as a comedy. >> Oh, I think he did too. >> Yeah. I'm surprised. Like he says the. ending is not the real footage. >> No, there's no there's no actual audio. footage of that guy that's available. If. you listen online, footage that says it. is. It's not real. You can kind of tell. they're acting. >> He he told the lady to destroy the. actual audio. >> That's what I heard. Yeah. >> The lens cover was on the camera, but it.

there is audio and it it's a long audio. because bears don't kill you. They just. start eating, >> right? >> Yeah. They just hold you down and eat. you until you die. >> Which is apparent to that guy who was. going around elementary schools telling. people how bears aren't dangerous. >> Yeah, that [ __ ] guy. >> And then they're like, "It's hibernation. season. You should go." And he's like, "No, but I got Peanut and Sprinkles and. Coco and they all love me." You had all. these little names for him. >> It was suicide by bear. >> Oh, yeah. I mean, you can't just hang. out there with it was that whole movie.

is just they said like I love when. they're like we think they think the. bear like the bears just thought he was. basically [ __ ] meat. >> Remember when the uh the sheriff said. that he's like. >> well I thought he was [ __ ]. >> Yeah, I think. >> just the way the the film is made. It's. just too there's too many times where. someone says something ridiculous and. there's a smash cut. I'm like this guy's. doing this on purpose. Like he wants you. to laugh. It's funny. It's got to be. because he's like slapping a bear on the. nose and he's like, "No, Skittles." And.

then just turning around and doing the. interview. >> and you're just waiting for him to die. Basically, >> I have to be a warrior. I have to I have. to let them know I stand my ground. I. love you. I love you. >> Love you, Bears. >> But I'm a warrior. >> I'm just going to put my tent here. This. is going to be what you'll consider a. plate and I'm just going to hang out. >> It's a burrito. There's meat inside. >> His girlfriend got killed, too, which is. really sad. I'm surprised that Yeah, she. one, he had one and two, she was like. >> she's probably surprised, too. >> Yeah,

>> is this guy going to [ __ ] me or is. >> Is this Yeah, like I. >> I'm sure he didn't [ __ ] her. He didn't. seem like that kind of guy. He. definitely had her killed. >> He definitely seemed gay. Um it seemed. like that was part of his dilemma. Like. he wanted to be an actor and that didn't. work out for him. So, he started getting. notoriety by being a bear expert, >> but he wasn't really a bear expert. >> No, he was just an idiot who would go. into the forest and. >> I'm here protecting these bears. got. really lucky. >> Fire service won't protect him. You. [ __ ] I'm protecting these. bears. >> You leave them alone. But that dude got.

some amazing footage. I'll tell you. that. His footage was [ __ ] incredible. because he was living with them. >> Yeah. >> So, he got footage that nobody else was. getting. Like high resolution close-up. footage of bear fights. >> He became really good friends with a. fox. >> Yeah. >> Foxes are [ __ ] adorable. They're like. dogs, man. >> Yeah. >> They are the closest thing to dog. like. playful. They play with you. They stole. his hat. Like it's they they would come. hang out with him. He could scratch. their head. >> Well, a lot of the people who find baby.

foxes and then just kind of raise them. cuz the parents left them. That's. amazing. >> There's a Instagram page that I follow, um, Bedu the fox. Check this out. It's. like a little tiny fox that this guy's. raised. Yeah. >> And it's so adorable. It's so adorable. >> It's such a This is cool. is. So, this. guy brings this fox with him every look. at that cute little fox. He's so cute. >> Yeah, they're adorable. >> But he hides under stuff. He's playful.

>> Yeah. >> But this this guy has this fox as a pet. And you know, and see, show the the. things where he's like cuddling with it. like he's Look at it. >> Yeah. It's just a straight up dog. >> Little buddy. Yeah. They're ador It's. like an adorable little dog. >> The raccoon ones are kind of funny, too, when it just like learns how to open the. fridge and take on a leash. He's walking. the box on a leash. >> He has to put on a leash cuz the [ __ ]. won't come back. He's like, "No, I'm. free.". >> He's like, "This is where I belong.".

>> Yeah. >> He's just trying to run from the guy, but he's on a leash. >> Face a huge ears and stuff. >> Incredible. That thing probably hears an. owl farting a mile away. Like, look at. his face. So [ __ ] cute, man. >> Yeah, they really are. They're really. cool animals. >> Yeah. And and people have done this. where they raise them, but. >> Yeah. >> I think it's Look at weird faces. >> Yeah. I think it's one of those things. where you have to be around them all the. time, you know. >> Yeah. I think if it's I guess I don't. know, but if it's abandoned young enough. to where it's attached to you, there's.

something there. >> Yeah. No, you definitely can raise them. People have raised them. But and people. have raised coyotes that same way, too. >> Oh, yeah. >> But you you have to be around them all. the time cuz. >> they're wild. like you're just tricking. them into like by constantly giving them. food and attention so they feel like. they don't have to do anything else that. they really feel instinctual about doing. like going out and killing a cat. >> Oh yeah. Well, there's a there's a place. called Oswald Bear Ranch. >> He's got a cat. This cute little fox is like half the.

size of the cat. He wants to play with. the cat. >> Oh, it's adorable. The cat does not look. upset happy though. No. When you see a. cat with its tail like that, that's a. really pissed-off cat. >> Well, the cat doesn't want to play with. its owner, let alone whatever that thing. is. >> Well, the cat looks like it's on SSRI. First of all, cat's fat as [ __ ]. >> Yeah, it was actually a male cat does. not identify that way anymore. >> That cat's a school shooter. >> It's going to go to the pound. Shoot it. up. >> Just going to take out everybody at the.

pet store. >> Yeah. >> Just one after the other. >> The story of wolves, like how we turned. wolves into dogs, is pretty [ __ ]. insane. It is amazing how we do just. kind of have these like wolves in our. house, but we made them cuter by design. over centuries. This is my uh my wolf. poodle, which is essentially what it is. Like it's incredible. >> Well, and then you get them down to like. I have a a King Charles Spaniel. You. know what those things are? >> Yep. >> He's that big. >> Yeah. >> He's the [ __ ] cutest thing on earth.

Yeah. That. >> if you go far enough back, that's a. wolf. >> Oh, yeah. >> How did they do that? I have a King. Charles Spaniel poodle. >> Ah, >> yeah. And his name is. >> As if King Charles Spaniel wasn't gay. enough. >> Exactly. I had to make sure he wears bow. ties, you know, like a wolf would. Bow ties. >> Oh my god. >> Whenever you get his haircut, they put. him in a bow tie. >> That's adorable. >> And I'm just like, it's so cute. But. it's also the case. >> Oh, that's adorable. >> But yeah, his name is Higgins, and he's.

the best dog, but he's small. And I've. always had big dogs. And I kind of just. like the fact that he's kind of small. and just really wants to sit there like. >> he just wants to chill. >> He'll go for a walk, but he's not dying. to. >> Uh the breed the furthest removed and. physically characteristics by wolves is. the king Cavalere King Charles Spaniel. >> Yeah, mine's mine's called a Cavapoo. >> That's the one I have. >> Yeah, I have a mix of that and a poodle. >> The Cavalier King Charles Spaniel one of. the most popular breeds in UK and US. probably because of their lap dog. reputation. Yeah, they're adorable dogs.

So sweet. >> I love them. And he that's the furthest. removed physically and. characteristically from a wolf. >> Yeah, it has. I mean, he's he's funny. Like, he'll grab his toy. He's got this. lamb and he'll just like jump in the. window at giant dogs and just start. shaking it and like try to intimidate. them. And I'm like, you're in a [ __ ]. little bow tie. He looks so gay. >> He's probably trying to play with them. cuz my my dog loves to play with. Marshall, my golden. >> dude. It's very best friends. >> Yeah, he's very playful. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. cuz we have a we I'm just going to.

announce all the the more dogs that I. have and feel uh worse as this goes. A. heaven. >> What's that? >> It's like a little it we don't have the. long haircut on it, but you know those. long hair like almost show dogs. >> Okay. >> And it's uh Yeah. Just a Heaven P. Yeah. >> Oh wow. >> But we have See the like top right. corner. She looks like that. >> So that's the other dog. >> and she's the best and she she's insane. Like that little face.

>> Yeah. Not the smartest dog you'll ever. meet, and that's one of the things I. love about her. >> Well, they don't have to be smart, you. know? It's like rich kids on trust. funds. They're not so [ __ ] smart. either. >> Yeah. They are the most privileged of. the dog community. Yeah. There's no. doubt about it. >> Most likely to be a they them. >> Yes. >> That's all the they them. They're not. poor kids. >> No. Well, we're the ones cutting off. their balls and spaying them. Yeah. They're all. >> That's true, too, right? They're all. trans. >> Yeah. They're all a little angry at us. >> My dogs have their balls. >> Oh, do they really? Always. Yeah. I. don't I don't fix my dogs.

>> See, we had already had them fixed when. we got them. >> I had a really good vet when I first. moved to LA. And I always thought you. have to fix dogs. Yeah. Cuz like Bob. Barker spaying new to your pets. Remember Bob Barker would say that after. the end of every show? >> Yep. >> Turn your pets trans. How about just. don't be a irresponsible dog owner and. let your dog have puppies that nobody. wants. How about you just be a. responsible dog owner and let your dog. have its natural [ __ ] hormones? Yeah. Because when you cut their balls off, they get tired. They get depressed. They.

have no energy. >> Testosterone. Testosterone gone. What. happens to people when their. testosterone goes? They get depressed. You get depressed and you have no. energy. That's the same [ __ ] that. happens to your dog. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And that's why he's in a bow tie. >> And my vet was he told me that. I was. like, I can't believe it. He goes, "Look, nobody wants to hear it. Everybody wants to tell you it's brand. new to your dogs, but. characteristically, like if you if you. look at like how a dog behaves, I see a. change the moment they cut. Now, look, if you have an overly aggressive dog, that's a different story. If you have a. dog that like you you probably should.

train, that's probably what it is. Probably needs obedience training and. probably needs a lot of attention and. probably needs a lot of exercise, but if. you cut your dog's balls off, it won't. be the same dog. >> No. And I mean, the next dogs I have, I. probably won't, you know, but it's just. something that you're used to for so. long. Like with Bob Barker, I get. control of the pet population, so. there's not dogs running all over the. streets that have to be euthanized all. the time. >> Yeah. But if it's terrible, if it's your. own dog though, >> but again, that's just bad dog owners. >> Yeah, that's what I mean. Like. >> it's just like people have are bad.

parents and their kids wind up, you. know, joining a gang and shooting people. up. It's like it's a lot of the same. kind of [ __ ] man. >> It's the same. It's literally the same. thing. I mean, when you like years ago, they were doing articles uh not to bring. it back to my hometown, but like in. Detroit where you would see dog gangs. roving together. They take over a house. and like you know they I remember one. house was like filled with pit bulls and. stuff but it was a black lab that was. like the king's shed at this house. >> Really? >> Yeah. It was crazy. And but you probably.

the smartest one. >> I think that it must have been that cuz. like when like Rolling Stone I think it. was showed up and they were like holy. [ __ ] It's a black lab that's in charge. of like all these pitbulls and that was. like the their king. >> and uh but to see. >> Well, probably they're good hunters. Maybe that's what it is. >> Labradors are hunting dogs. >> Yeah. Well, that's true because like we. would see just packs of dogs going down. the street when it was at its most like. empty. >> God, I heard about a lady that got. killed by a pack of dogs in Georgia a. few years back. >> Oh, they'll do it.

>> Yeah. Wild dogs. She was hiking and. feral dogs attacked her. >> Yeah. >> And that's. >> a rough way to go, Dad. >> That's terrible. >> Rough way to go. >> Cuz there was probably a minute where. she was like, "Oh, dogs.". >> I doubt it. >> Yeah, >> I doubt it. >> No, most people do get scared. >> Yeah, they should. Yeah. Well, especially if you're on like a mountain. >> If you don't know the dog, like it could. be anything. >> Yeah. Never go up to a dog the way the. people tell you that you should. >> Put your hand out. >> Yep. >> I'm your friend. >> Look, I'm your buddy. It's like just.

stand there. >> Stand your ground. >> Yeah. >> Look at it. Keep an eye and hopefully. have a gun. >> Yeah. >> Hopefully have a gun. >> I just shot your doodle. I overreacted. But yeah, those ones you can't. But. >> that's a problem, too. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But yeah, when you just stand. there and kind of let the dog smell you, that's what they do. That's they just. want to get to know who you are, so let. them. And just kind of Yeah. Keep an. eye. Don't act scared. What you. shouldn't do is run and start screaming. >> Yeah. No, they like that. >> Yeah. They It's fun.

>> They think it's a play or a time to. play. >> They're going to kill you and have fun. >> Yeah. >> Yay. Look this. We got a screamer, boys. As if there's not enough problems in the. world, you got to worry about roving. packs of wild dogs taking folks out. >> and bears fighting in your culde-sac. You don't see that. >> They're trying to bring bears back to. certain states now. They're trying to. reintroduce grizzly bears. These [ __ ]. dorks. >> Why do they reintroduce animals that. went extinct in an area for a reason?

That's why. >> Well, they didn't go extinct. They were. made extinct. Yeah. Right. Like. California has a grizzly bear on its. flag, >> right? But the there's no grizzlies in. California cuz they killed them all. because they were killing all these. people, >> right? >> The last guy that got killed uh in. California by a grizzly bear, they. actually named a town after him. >> Really? >> LC, California. >> Is it named after a guy that was. murdered by a grizzly? >> His name was Steven Le. Yeah. He was the. last man in California to be killed by a. grizzly bear before they killed them.

all. >> Are they trying to bring him back to. California? >> Yeah, of course they are. >> Oh, that's smart. >> Look, they brought wolves back to. Detroit. They brought wolves, excuse me, Detroit. uh Colorado. They brought. wolves to an area of Colorado that's. right outside of Aspen and people are. losing their [ __ ] minds because they. brought these wolves that they had. captured in Oregon because they're. killing cattle and then they. reintroduced them to Colorado where they. wait for it kill cattle. They've been. killing cattle like crazy. They they.

brought them out to like these ranching. areas and they they've killed so many. cows out there, man. I have a buddy who. has a ranch out there and he sends me. pictures all the time of these cows that. they find just torn apart like baby. cows. Calves just ripped to shreds. Oh. >> yeah. Well, they did the same I want to. say it was like near Dollywood. Didn't. they do that too where like wolves had. finally gone away in that area in the. mountains? >> Dollywood. Where's Dollywood? >> It's near um it's in Tennessee near. >> There's wolves in Tennessee.

>> I think they tried to reintroduce him. cuz I. >> maybe red wolves. >> Yeah. Like I took a tour through the. forest. Like I had to go. I didn't want. to go. It wasn't my thing, believe it or. not. But I I went we went as like a. family trip. And you know I it's it's. terrible. And somebody recognized me and. that was the worst. It was at like a fake Dolly Barton show. >> Like are you Dave Lando? And I'm like oh. [ __ ] really now. So, but we went through. the forest and uh they were saying that. they were reintroducing animals into.

that area and it's like why would you do. that? And they I guess they had just. taken down like a crispy cream because. like bears just destroyed it. >> Well, that wouldn't be reintroduction. That area the bears have always been. there. Okay. >> But uh if they're reintroducing a wolf, it has to be the red wolf. The red wolf. is endangered and it's a small wolf. >> It's a wolf that's like maybe the size. of a large coyote. >> Yeah, there it Red wolves are returning. to the Smoky Mountains. >> There you go. Yeah. >> Yeah. But like that that photo is a. little deceptive. When you see a red.

wolf, they're pretty small. Um like what. is the average size of a red wolf? Google that Jamie. >> Yeah. Like that picture of the bear. walking. We saw that a lot just walking. down like while we were there. >> Oh, you're going to see a lot of bears. like 50 to 60 pounds. >> Yeah. They'd be like tumbling like cubs. and stuff down the down the road. That's. like a red wolf is probably, you know, it's a 50 pound animal. >> Okay. So, >> they're not they're not a gay wolf. Grey. wolves are [ __ ] scary. >> Terrifying. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> They're big. >> Yeah. I would not want to go.

>> I don't know. That's a scary animal. Anytime I've seen one, they just don't. look friendly. And I don't. >> Well, I mean, they killed them off for a. reason. The reason why I mean, look, Little Red Riding Hood [ __ ] There's. all these stories with kids where they. get eaten by wolves, cuz wolves eat. kids. >> Well, yeah. It was a way to scare the. kids into being aware of what was going. on. It was. >> Bro, do you know the World War I story? >> No. >> Okay. World War I, the Germans and the. Russians had a ceasefire because so many.

of them were getting killed by wolves. They made an agreement to have a. ceasefire and kill the wolves and then. go back to fighting. >> Seriously? >> Yeah. Because they were in trench. warfare. So they're in Russia and Russia. has big wolves. >> Yeah. Huge. So what happens with animals. with warm-blooded animals is the further. north the animal goes the larger its. body size is okay and they think it's to. retain heat. So if you look like a deer. in like let's say uh a white-tailed deer.

a whitetail deer that you see in Texas. >> is a small deer. Yeah. >> Like if I see a white tail deer. generally like I see them all the time. on on my way to work. A whitetail deer. might a female might be like 50 60 lbs. A male might be 100 120 pounds. Yeah. In. Saskatchewan, you might get a 300 pound. whitetail. >> Okay. >> They're way bigger. Yeah. Way bigger. >> Well, yeah. Wolves are the same thing. They're bigger up there. They're bigger. animals up there. Like bears are bigger.

Polar bears are huge. >> Polar bears and they're nasty. >> Yeah. They have to retain heat. >> Yeah. So like when when you go to like. northern kind of climates, when you're. dealing with an animal in northern. climates, that's going to be a bigger. version of that animal. So if you see a. wolf in like Alberta Yeah. >> that's going to be a bigger wolf than a. wolf that you'd see in Mexico. Those are. smaller wolves, >> right? Because they don't have to. survive in the same elements. >> Exactly. They don't It's also there's no. benefit to to having a large size of.

your body to maintain heat. That's why. moose are in the most upper north part. of the country. They're the largest. >> of all the deer species. >> Oh, that would make sense though. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Like elk are like larger than deer, you. know? It's like And then the elk that. are the further north like the those. like Montana has some giant [ __ ] elk. Wyoming giant elk. And that's the you. know. >> Yeah. When you get towards Canada too, a. lot of that those places where it's just. cold, you get those massive animals.

>> Yep. Yep. Yep. And what what were we. talking about that I brought that up? We. were talking about wolves. >> Wolves. The one uh the red wolf being. brought back to Kentucky. >> Yeah. So those are small because they're. in like a warm climate. >> Yeah, that makes sense. >> Yeah. >> It's just odd to me that to think though. when you even hear the word wolf like. we're just going to reintroduce it to. this tourist area. It's like it seems. bad. >> Well, it's all these people that are. liberals that are like sweet, kind. people that like this is Jared Polus, the governor of Colorado. He's a nice.

guy. He's a sweet guy. Yeah, he just. posted some really kind. >> uh tweet the other day. I'm like, "Oh, he seems like a good guy." But hey, don't bring wolves back to ranching. areas cuz like you could have these. idealistic utopic view utopiabased views. of what you think a wolf would be like. and back in the wild. But no, they're. going to they take the easiest path. possible. The easiest path possible. Oh, there's a bunch of animals that are. stuck in a fenced in area that I could. just hop over. I'll just go kill one and. eat it. And that's what they do. And so.

these f these farmers now have to hire. people 24/7 to be patrolling around. their animals. So it's a they're already. operating at a very low margin, right? If you're a farmer and a rancher, you. lose a bunch of cows. You're [ __ ] So. now the state has to compensate them for. depradation. So every time a wolf kills. a cow, they compensate them. So it costs. the state more money. >> Oh, so they got to pay for these. >> Yes. They have to pay for it. And then. they they now they have depradation. permits on some of these wolves cuz. they're repeat offenders. So now they're. trying to kill these wolves that they've.

spent millions and millions of dollars. reintroducing to Colorado. >> And it's all silly people. It's B it's. what's called ballot box biology and. wildlife conservationists and hunters. and and people that are spend time in. the woods. They hate it. They hate it. because it's mostly uninformed people. that think they're doing a good thing. Like let's stop trophy hunting. >> Yeah, we have to. >> Yeah, we have to stop hunters. Hunters. are evil. Like, no [ __ ] Bears are evil. They.

will [ __ ] eat you [ __ ] first in. front of your kids. They don't care. >> Well, it's like when they put in an. insect to destro kill an insect that's. getting out of control. >> Always worked bad. >> Yeah. So, like and in Michigan it was. like ladybugs, but all of a sudden now. there were ladybugs everywhere and this. kind could bite you. So, they were some. kind of beetle that was this massive. problem all of a sudden. And it was to. help control the fishly problem or may. flies people might know them as. And. there just because you drive down next. to the water, dude, and it just it's. like sounds like Rice Krispies as you.

drive because you're just hitting so. many of these things. >> But it didn't help that problem. It just. created a horrible beetle problem. >> Yeah. >> And then there was something else going. on in the lake. So they introduced zebra. muscles. >> Oh yeah, they did that out here, too, >> dude. They destroyed boats. They cut up. people's feet that were swimming. Like. it Yeah, it backfired completely. And. it's like, so you're just introducing. this like poison into the air and into. the water that you think's going to. benefit this. >> Yeah. So they have too much vegetation.

on some of these lakes. So what did they. do is they sterilize carp and then. introduce these sterilized carp. But. sometimes they're not sterile. >> and sometimes they just start breeding. and then the carp basically eat all the. vegetation. And so then your entire lake. looks like the bottom of a swimming. pool, right? It's just gone. >> There's no more grass. So the fish don't. know where to hide. So it's like not as. effective for them. They don't get as. big. So all the bass fishermen are mad. because there's no like habitat and. >> Right. >> Yeah. It's all [ __ ] up. >> And that's happened. Yeah. With Michigan. because we do have a lot of fisherman,

bass fishermen, you know, that go out. there and you can go into pretty small. pond areas and lakes because the great. lakes and still catch some stuff. >> But once you start messing with the. habitat, it goes bad for a long time. >> Oh yeah, man. Well, look at Australia. Australia has done a terrible job of. introducing invasive species to combat. problem animals. Oh yeah. And now they. have feral cats that have essentially. wiped out most of their ground nesting. birds and all sorts of other things. Cats are the worst, man. Little little. cute little house cats.

>> Yeah, >> they are the worst murderers of all the. animal kingdom. >> Well, and they think birds are a nice. present for you. That's the first thing. they're going to go after is just kill. them. >> Birds and rats. Yep. Yeah. And that's. why like the crazy cat lady thing is a. real thing, too, because they also. contain parasites. And that parasite. toxopplasmosis. is uh it affects humans. It affects. behavior. It makes you more impulsive, more aggressive. >> Yeah. Really? >> Yeah. Yeah. It's uh it's a crazy. parasite that is at one point in time.

half of France had toxopplasmosis. >> Really? >> Yeah. Yeah. Because of feral cats. Maybe. it might have been half of Paris or half. of France. I don't remember. But a large. p in rural areas where you have a lot of. uh feral cats. >> Okay. I don't know if it was like rich. >> You have known people that have like. outdoor cats and they're very. irrational. Yes. Mark Maron th those. people those people probably have toxo. which is why they're behaving weird.

>> Yeah. Well, I was. >> Yeah, that's what's going on. It's like. I guarantee if you test it I might have. it. I had a feral cat. >> I I've never had a feral cat, but I've. definitely had ones that would stop by. the house. I had a feral cat. A friend. of mine and her and her boyfriend. rescued a bunch of kittens that were. underneath this building and she it was. in Santa Monica and she said, "Do you. want a kitten?" He was so cute and I. took him in and I actually had to stay. with this cat for like days in one of. the rooms of my house because like when. I picked him up, he would purr and he'd.

be sweet. As soon as I put him down, he'd hiss at me and and jump and leap. away. He was wild. >> Like claws and everything. >> It took forever for me to just calm him. down. And then after a while, I could. just come up to him and pick him up. Like when he was a full grown cat, he. was totally my friend. But no one else, >> no one else could pet this cat. >> You come over my house, he would hiss at. you like like he was ready to go to war. >> He was it was crazy. But I would go, "No, dude. He's he was just wild. He's. wild." And I'd pick him up and he'd. start purring. But he would purr like no.

other cat would purr cuz when he knew. that you just loved him and that you. weren't going to eat him, when I'd pick. him up, he just. He was so happy to be held. He was so. happy to be pet. But then as soon as I. put him down, he would look at me. sketchy and run away. >> He was just [ __ ] up, man. >> My grandma had that. She was crazy, though. Like she like as she got older, she had like this old mansion. And I. don't know how she got it, but it was. one of those things where like when. you're Catholic, you just have 87 kids,

so the house was big, but now it looks. huge to people. >> So she just had cats. But towards the. end, she had a few cats and just she. would have like those Tom and Jerry. mouse holes in the house like where you. would see them come in and out of where. they and dude she would keep like she. keep the spiders cuz they thought she. thought it was part of the ecosystem. >> Oh great. >> So you're looking up like I'd have to. sleep there and I'm just like staring at. a brown recluse like shaking at the age. of like eight. >> Those will [ __ ] leave giant holes in. you, man.

>> Dude, they will kill it. My brother got. bitten by one and his leg turned into a. softball and he had to go. >> really bad. >> Yeah. She was nuts, dude. Like she had. >> It gets necrotic. Yeah. >> Where it eats away the tissue, >> dude. And it went like that. Like he got. bit and by the time he got to the. hospital, it just kept getting bigger. It went from like a golf ball to a. softball to like And they had to hit him. with all this like antivenenom. >> It was nuts, dude. >> My friend Jeremy had a hole in his his. thigh where he had to stuff gauze in it. because it was constantly oozing. Yeah,

that's what it is. Like they start it. starts chewing away at your skin. >> Yeah, it eats it. Necrosis. >> Yeah, my brother's like a scar from it, dude. It's disgusting. >> Brown recckluses are dangerous, man. >> But she was nuts. She had like a casino. in her basement that she ran. She taught. us. >> That sounds so fun. >> It really was when we were kids, too. Like we're dealing like blackjack and. playing. >> Oh, she had a casino in her basement. >> Yeah, it was fun. Like and then she was. in she was a recovering elkie. Like she. had beads everywhere. Like I didn't know.

what that was then. And then. >> Oh, like 30-day beads. >> Yeah. And like so then later on uh well. it was like from Marty Gro. She had all. the stuff from so like later in my life. I'm like oh my grandma was a [ __ ] So. but I didn't realize it until later. >> There's a cat lady [ __ ] with a [ __ ]. casino in her basement. >> Like a cat lady casino [ __ ] who thinks. spiders are part of a ecosystem. >> She's kind of right. >> I mean she's not wrong. They would eat. the mosquitoes. That was her thing. Damn. >> But you'd also have like you're like I. think it's a black widow in your garage.

and it's like yeah so don't go near it. And I'm like you want to protect your. spider. >> Like she was just nuts, dude. But uh. yeah, she was in recovery, but then she. also had an entire bar where you could. just make drinks. So we're like six and. like looking through like how to make. somebody putting a martini. >> It's so so much fun. So she kept the. drinks even though she was clean. >> Yeah, she was clean. Yeah. >> Wow. I've done that too myself though. cuz if people come over I'm like, "Yeah, whatever you want, man.". >> Yeah. I stopped drinking and I have a.

full bar at my house. I have a I have a. wine room. It's like such a wasted room. >> Yeah. >> Just a room filled with bottles of wine. that now I'll never drink. >> Yeah. I have I have probably 10 bottles. and it's somebody wants one. >> Yeah. Come on over. I'll judge you. >> Yeah. Like my. >> You sit there and drink and I'll judge. you. >> You'll start acting stupid. Well, after. my like last DUI was when I got it was. like 16 years ago and I had just built a. bar in my basement and it's really nice. and I still really like it. But like it. was probably days later I got the DUI.

So I just like sit there and I'll just. look at this bar like it could have. been. >> Was that when you stopped drinking? >> Yeah. It was my It was my 13th arrest. It was my uh. >> 13th arrest. >> Yeah. What was number one? >> Uh the day I got my driver's license. >> No. >> Yeah. For real. What did you do? Um, my dad had gotten a. Buick Regal and uh it was around. November cuz they would I was born in. June, but they wouldn't let me get my. driver's license cuz my grades were so.

bad. And we were having a family. reunion. So, we had everybody at the. house. My dad we thought was doing a. little better and we all went out to eat. and I'm like, "Hey, can I borrow the. car?" And he's like, "Yeah." So, we get. home and my aunt had blocked the. driveway thinking that I would probably. end up taking the car and like her son. out who was from Arizona. Oh, >> and the one side of my house was the. house and then the other side was my. neighbor's lawn with a small pine tree. and like rose bushes and stuff. >> You just drove through that? >> Yeah. I figured if I gingerly did it, it. would be all right. Dude, I [ __ ] up.

her lawn. We go I go and pick up my. friends. We go down uh 8 Mile to this. place called Piccadilly where we'd have. this guy named Spider by and he was. [ __ ] great. He was this like homeless. dude who just was like he always go I'm. spider with a w and he'd do that and. then he was total pervert. He'd be like. he would seriously offer to like he'd be. like I'll jack you off too and we're. like we just want the beer but we do. appreciate it really but thank you. So. like he'd always be like somebody's got.

to come in with me to pick it and we'd. be fighting if we had to get out of the. car to go walk with this guy. >> So we we just bring the beer in. We're. driving around. We started giving lawn. jobs, you know, like we first we did. leaf pile fires because everybody would. like rake their leaves into the street. >> So we started doing those, you know, fun. good oldfashioned arson, but usually it. would stop pretty quickly. Somebody. would run out with like a garden hose. and you know, it totally was innocent. until the one time it wasn't. But we. were driving around uh we went to some.

parties smoking weed, all that [ __ ] And. uh finally I get up on this one guy's. lawn after part and he's got a Beamer 5. series and I got my Regal. My dad's. which it had a V6 turbocharged which for. a Buick it wasn't bad for 98. But I got. on this dude's lawn. I see him sitting. in his Beamer. And for some reason in my. head I'm just like this guy's just going. to sit here and take it. So I just start. giving him a lawn job. I'm doing donuts. You can hear grass hitting his car. We get in a high-speed chase with this.

dude. Like, dude, I mean, like like. French Connection style. I hit I swear I. hit this bump, man. Four tires went off. the ground cuz we just felt like the car. pop to the ground. >> And we get We're just going all over the. city. My friends are like, "Let's just. pull over and beat the [ __ ] out of him.". And I'm like, "He could have a gun, you. know?" So, I finally go down this uh. street that has like a bifurcation where. it just splits immediately like this. You have to go this way, this way, you. know? and I didn't see it. >> So, I start breaking because I'm going.

at an oak tree. >> So, I'm breaking it and dude, the next. thing I know, the engine drops through. the front of the car. All the airbags. come out. I get cracked with an airbag. And I'm unc like I'm not quite. unconscious. I'm conscious just enough. to see the BMW in my rear view drive. away. And then as I'm being knocked out, I hear all my friends and my own cousin. leave. Now, here's the kicker. We were. having a family reunion. I didn't. realize that there was a bunch of cases.

of beer and liquor already in the trunk. and chips and stuff. So when I hit the. tree, that popped open. >> and it looked like I drove a Super Bowl. party into the [ __ ] tree. There was. just like beer and pop and chips and. [ __ ] going down the street. >> And finally, dude, I I wake up from. being unconscious and I get out of the. car and there's a cop and my dad there. when you wake up when when I when I get. up like I'd been that I dude I got. knocked out so hard by that airbag.

>> Oh my god. >> Cuz it just like like all I could smell. was that like burning talcum powder kind. of smell like that awful like I want to. say eggy almost. It was just the worst. smell. But everybody else was able to. run except me. So it looked like I just. did it. So I get out and I remember I. look at my and my dad was not violent. He was a nom but he was never violent. But I just look at him and I go, "Dad, I'm okay." And he goes, "Great." And he. punched me in the face so hard. >> that I hit the ground and was knocked. out for the second time that evening.

>> Oh no, >> dude. He cracked me harder. >> He gave you a second concussion. >> that night. And I wake up. >> That's not good, Dad. >> Dude, no. He was pissed. >> I get it. But yeah, but then I wake up. >> and the cops got a light on me and I. swear to God, the cop goes, "He's waking. up if you want to hit him again.". >> It's the first thing I hear. And I'm. like, "You guys, I'm really in a lot of. pain here." And my dad like apologized, but he's like, "Look, like, what the. [ __ ] is wrong with you?" He was just. furious. And. >> I had already been getting into dope and.

stuff, and he was getting pretty pissed. with me. >> But I got. >> arrest number one, >> dude. DUI and I got six month suspended. license. >> Wow. >> I went in front of a referee is what. they called it for juveniles at Coleman. A young uh municipal. They gave me six. month suspended license. >> Did you have to talk your way out of it? >> Uh oh. Oh, out of being arrested. >> I mean, like, >> oh, that no, my dad, I remember I was. going to school one day and he goes, I. just got the bill for the car. I was. like, "Yeah." He goes, "It's $13,980.

here." And I go, "What? I don't have. that money." He goes, "Just show people. so they know how proud I am of you." I. was like, "Thanks. Thanks, Dad." Wow. >> But he was furious. >> I would imagine. >> But he let it I mean, he let it go after. that cuz we had alcoholism in our. family. I can't believe that you were. doing donuts on this guy's lawn right in. front of him. >> Oh, dude. We did so much [ __ ] we. shouldn't have done back then. >> Was it just the crew you were hanging. with? >> Yeah. Like it was fun. Like I Dude, I I. we all we all just kind of wanted to be.

thugs. It was a little sad. >> Well, it is Detroit. >> Yeah. You want to be like you're in the. suburbs sort of like my house was in the. suburbs, but you're you're literally 3. minutes from the most violent part of. America at the time. So you're on the. border of the east side of Detroit. So. it's not like you can't hear gunshots. and you know what I mean? It's like. you're you're every drug in every party. You're going down to raves and. warehouses that are owned by like the. Russian mob. Crazy [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] yeah. >> Wow, >> dude. Yeah. Like.

>> when you like 18. >> Oh yeah. 17, 18, 16, all that. All those. years, dude. Like 99 2000. Huge rave. culture. And then when the new mayor. came inwami Kilpatrick who ended up. getting uh arrested and put in jail and. then Trump pardoned, he started the Detroit Electronic Music. Festival. So he capitalized on that. >> Really? >> Yeah. Do you remember when Ford Focus. basically or Ford put out the uh Detroit. Electronic Music Festival Focus? >> No, >> dude. It was basically a car designed.

for people on ecstasy. Like the whole. thing was speakers. >> Really? Yeah, if you can find it, it's. the Detroit It was the Detroit uh Yeah. Uh electronic music festival Focus. And. the car was. >> just had a crazy sound system. >> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz the car is a piece of. [ __ ] So the whole thing is just. speakers. And the way they would do the. ads, it was almost like you go into a. are you on E? Well, this car is great. It's got huge cup holders for your. water. It's got great, you know.

>> Oh, that's hilarious. Like they were. capitalized on it. >> on it. And Hollywood did a little cuz. that's like when uh the movie Go came. out and a lot of these movies that were. almost. >> it's with um. uh Go is the one where they're all. >> find that car first. >> They're all trying to get ecstasy in it. and it's just like it's like Katie. Holmes and uh. >> all these other people who are like some. are different stars and some are and. they all kind of mix together in this. one night and they're all just going to. different raves and parties.

>> And the whole thing is about E. Um, I'm. trying to think of his name. You'd know. him from the store. Plays a bouncer in. it. Uh, >> Vince Fawn. >> No, no, not Vince. Um, he's not really. an more of a comic. He used to work with. uh Shiml or not, um, not Shiml. Um, >> God, what is his name? Blonde hair, older dude. >> Jimmy Schubert. >> Yes, he plays he plays a bouncer in it. Yeah. >> Uh, Jimmy's the best. >> Yeah, he's great. I did last comic with. him and he was cool. Yeah, I like him a. lot. >> Jimmy for 35 years, I think. 30 No, 30.

years somewhere in there. >> Yeah, he's a good dude and he played He. played a bouncer in it. >> Yeah. >> So, yeah. >> Um, where's that car? Did you find it? >> I found It doesn't show. >> I wonder how much they've scrubbed it, but if it's like a Detroit music like. 2001 article, but it's called a Ford. Focus. >> for the electronic music festival. And. the way they. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. They've changed it up a bit with. the Ventura, but yeah. >> Um, go with speakers, right? Speakers. interior.

It was great because you'd be walking to. this music festival in heart. Yeah. See. the JBL speakers that would never be. used in a Fort Focus. >> Oh, that's what they had in them. >> Yeah. They had like this. >> So, they had a badass sound system, >> right? And it was just this. >> this terrible little hatchback, you. know, car that a young person could. afford with a killer sound system in. case you wanted to listen to Bad Boy. Bill or Fat Boy Slam. >> And you So, you got arrested 13 times. >> Yeah. So, what was number two?

>> Uh, number two, let me think. Two was an MIP. >> What's that? >> Minor in possession of alcohol. >> Oh. >> And then that one was like a lot of them. were MIP. Four were DUIs. >> And then four. >> Yeah. And then I got arrested. >> How are you still How'd you still have a. license? Um, most of it was as a minor. and then by the time I got my one as an. adult, it like it had expanded enough to. where in 2009 when I got arrested my.

last time and I decided to get sober, they couldn't technically put me in. prison and I didn't want to go cuz I. didn't want to spend my days getting. titty [ __ ] by the Aryan Brotherhood. I. know how I look. So, I uh I I got clean. But um yeah, that one was the one that I. took real seriously. So what they did. was they put an alcohol tether on my leg. that would monitor if I was drinking. >> and a breathalyzer in my car. >> So I would like I'd have to blow start. my car everywhere I went, you know? And. like. >> my friend Rob had that. It would take.

like 3 minutes before he could start his. car. >> Dude, it sucked. And now they take. pictures of you and stuff, but that one. it would go off as you drive. So you're. like driving and like a I remember one. time a truck was jacknifing and then. it's like. so I'm trying to like dodge this truck. from hitting me in the Grand Rapid snow. while blowing my car so it doesn't stop. >> No way. >> Swear to God. They're so dangerous. >> And I'm going around the country. >> I didn't know they did it while you were. driving. That's insane, >> dude. That's so they prove you're not.

drinking. So like every 15 minutes it. goes off at random but you can't time it. >> and you have to blow into it. >> Yeah. That's why when people are like, "Can't you have somebody else blow?" And. it's like, well, no, cuz you'd be like, can can I drink and drive? And you just. sit shotgun and let me. >> But yeah, you have to blow the whole. time you're driving. >> So that's what sucks about it. So you. have this constant thing. And I was. double jeopardy cuz I was a road comic. >> So in 2009, yeah, dude, I'm going into. these bars and nightclubs. I'm like, "Hey, >> do you have a phone jack I could use for. a few minutes?" And they're like, "Yeah,

why?" And I'm like, um, I got this ankle. monitor and I got to plug it in. somewhere to a phone jack so they can. download to make sure I'm not drinking. So I'd be in a bar, dude. >> A phone jack. >> with my [ __ ] ankle. >> Oh my god. >> Attached to the wall. >> while they downloaded my alcohol. But. boy, >> how long did it take? >> Uh, so it has like a modem like a. >> Yeah. It it would light, you know, so it. would let you know when you were done. >> It would do it through the phone lines. >> Yeah. At that time. Wow.

>> I'm sure there's something more. high-tech now. This was09, but you had. to have a phone jack and I'd have to. call my probation officer and be like, "This is the room I'm playing. >> I'm in a bar. I was allowed to be in a. bar, but if anybody spilled anything on. me, right, to jail.". >> Oh boy. >> Cuz like if I had any bit of like I had. to use Tom's everything, you know, all. natural stuff because anything could. have alcohol in it. >> Oh wow. So, like I couldn't touch. anything on a chance that on the off. chance that it would set off my monitor.

>> That's cra You know what's really crazy? If you eat poppy seed bagels, you can. get popped for heroin. >> Yeah. When you take a drug test for your. job. >> Isn't that nuts? >> Yeah. >> A poppy seed bagel. >> Dude, it's. a nice delicious bagel. And you get. popped for heroin. >> It's amazing. You have nothing else in. your system but heroin. [Laughter]. >> I'm a tea toddler, right? >> What's in your tea? Yeah. What are you. doing with it? >> Yeah, they tell you don't eat poppy. seeds. Any poppy seeds before you go in. for a drug test. I wonder how long poppy.

seed bagel stays in your system. >> Oh, dude. I had to I had to drug test, too. That sucks. I I didn't I never did. the heroin one. I didn't need a lot of. poppy seeds. But I did buy a fake dick. that they caught me with. >> You had a urinator? A Wizator. Is that. what they called? >> It's called a Wizator. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's. >> That's hilarious. I thought. >> they caught you with the fake dick. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> How'd they catch you? >> It was darker than me. I'm not kidding. >> Oh boy. >> Did I bought the one? I thought they'd. be behind me.

>> They weren't. >> No, they were right here. And. >> because they know about the fake dicks. >> Yeah. And I'm just like, just going to squeeze these balls from. >> some some urine I bought off of a nerdy. kid like R. Kelly. >> I got one for you. I know a guy who uh. to pass a steroid test. >> Yeah. >> He was clearly on steroids. He was a. fighter. Yeah. >> He injected someone else's urine into. his bladder. >> Oh god.

Oh. >> yeah. So he got some bro science doctor. in a [ __ ] men's room shoving a large. needle. >> of piss. >> into his bladder and then he pissed out. somebody else's piss. >> Oh god. Did it work? >> Oh yeah. Oh yeah. >> Hats off. I mean, that's dedication. >> Basketball player came back pregnant. when he took his drug test. >> using pregnant girlfriend's urine.

>> That's what it is. >> So, what are they testing him for that. he's worried about other than weed? Is. it weed? >> I'm guessing weed cuz it's a if it was. 2020 in Ohio, it was still illegal. Plus, I don't think I don't think you're. allowed to use it. >> Wow. >> If you're on the team, but it was. illegal then. So, they were probably. still, which it's never been I mean, for. most people, I should say. suspension. >> Yeah. International drug test. in Bosnia. >> Is that what it was? >> Oh, >> as a naturalized player. Well, he was I.

wonder what they were testing him for. I. wonder what drugs they were actually. testing him for. What are they worried. about finding? >> Yeah, cuz I bought what was it called? Urine luck. That didn't work. >> Steroids and stuff, you know, >> I guess. But Jesus Christ, if if I'm. running a professional basketball. organization, I want people on steroids. >> I'm not testing anyone for anything. recovering. I want them playing better. >> Yeah. >> The the whole steroid thing is so weird, you know? It's because it's just. science. They figured out a way to make.

humans perform better. Like, so are we. supposed to use some science like you. can use creatine, which at one point in. time they used to treat creatine like it. was steroids. >> Well, yeah, they did. >> in the 1990s. It was like you're taking. creatine, you're basically taking. steroids. >> Well, it was because of the Mark Maguire. uh Joseé Conco thing, >> right? I think that was a little later. >> was because wasn't it? >> I remember it was part of it cuz they. were like they're on creatine and. everybody's like are you sure. >> bec No, they were on Anderstein Dion is.

what he say but it wasn't steroids. >> He was on hardcore [ __ ]. >> because he got big. >> Maguire went from like a farm boy to. looking like one of the Looney Tunes. characters from Space Jam. Like the dude. was just [ __ ] stacked. home run after home. video of Maguire. hitting a home run and uh as the bat is. contacting the ball, you see the bend to. the bat cuz he's so strong. He's. whipping the bat so hard that it's. bending in the air as it contacts the.

ball. >> See if you can find that photo. Yeah, it's ash. It's like a very dense wood. and he's whipping it so hard the the it. has a bend like a bow. Like a bow and. arrow and it's connecting the ball like. perfectly on the sweet spot. Look at. that. Look at the [ __ ] amount of bend. in that bat. >> That makes no sense on the Giants. >> Well, that's somebody else. But look at. the one above it. >> Oh, the one right there though. >> That's the Magguire one. I'm talking. right there. Right there. That's it. >> That's a Ben Bent. >> That's it. No, right there. Jamie,

>> it looks like he's doing the spoon. trick. >> Okay, whoever it is, but look at it. That's what I'm talking about. >> You're right. When the guy is swinging. at full clip, that's what happens to the. bat, which is crazy. >> That is completely roids. >> That's him. Oh my god, that's nuts. Look. at that bat. >> It looks like it's made out of rubber. That's so cramming. force your body has to generate to do. that to one of those bats. >> And meanwhile, Pete Rose never gets. inducted. >> I know, >> dude. I met him. I liked him.

>> I know. That didn't make any sense. He's. just gambling. It didn't didn't hinder. his play. >> No, >> I mean was there was some concern that. maybe he bet against his team. >> That's what it was. Yeah. >> Yeah, he probably did. >> Yeah, he says he didn't. >> They're going to allow him in or he's. going to be eligible, I believe. Uh. >> yeah, I figuredly though. >> Yeah, I figured. Yeah, that's what they. were going to do. >> Yeah, but that's not cool. >> Like he's dead. He should have done it. while he's alive. >> No. And he's been around sitting in the. MGM in Vegas signing [ __ ] for a long.

time, you know. great player. >> Yes, he was. He's amazing. >> I mean, just because a guy does. something like that doesn't mean he. didn't do amazing things playing. And. that's what it's supposed to be all. about. >> The guy was an allstar. He was one of. the greatest of all time. And he took it. away from him because he likes to. gamble. Yeah. >> Guess what? That's also probably why he. was so [ __ ] good, cuz he was wild. >> Yes. Exactly. >> He was a wild boy. >> It's true. >> Yes. Look at Jordan. >> Oh, dude. >> Degenerate gambler. The greatest. basketball player who ever walked the.

face of the [ __ ] earth. >> Yes. And did like Pete Rose's dad wasn't. taken out. >> It comes from the same place, man. It. comes from the same place. >> Yeah. Same deal. Well, yeah. Cuz there's. a part of you that wants to do risky. things if you're willing to go that far. You have to have that element in you. So, you kind of want to go like, "Yeah, he threw a few games with the confidence. that the team would still be fine.". That's kind of amazing. >> if he did. That's a guy chasing money. He's pro He's probably Well, that the.

thing they said about Jordan was that he. wouldn't pay. >> Yeah, that's Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. There's a lot of shady [ __ ] that. happened. >> Well, that was that golf hustler that. beat him out of hundreds of thousands of. dollars and then wrote a story about it. because Jordan wouldn't pay him. >> Then it kind of started getting out. >> and then Jordan's dad got murdered. That's why there's a lot there. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. The connection with that people. may have taken out his dad over gambling. debts which is rarely talked about. You. know, here's another connection that I. never considered until recently. Remember when Cosby's kid got murdered?

>> Uh, yeah. I have. >> And everybody was like, "Oh, it's just a. random crime." Maybe not, right? >> I don't think it was now. >> Well, now now you know what Cosby did. Imagine if he did that to someone's. daughter and they said, "Oh, well, guess. what? >> Cuz he wasn't robbed, >> right? >> They didn't take anything. He was just. changing a tire.". >> Yeah. >> And who knows if he even was. They could. have flagged him down. >> Exactly. Who knows if he even was. >> Yeah. Or who knows if they maybe flatten. his tire. >> Exactly. To catch him. >> Yeah. They know he's going to drive,

flatten his tire, let him drive off for. a little bit, and he's eventually going. to have to stop and pull over. >> It It seems so random to just kill. someone for fun. >> It's rare. >> Yeah. Very rare. >> And it when you know what Cosby did, it. makes you go, "Oh, maybe there's. something there.". >> And now the stuff that has come out is. so dude, it's so dark. I heard this lady. say that he might be the most prolific. serial rapist in history. >> I wouldn't doubt it. >> But you imagine how insane that is. The.

guy who is the, you know, Mr. Huxable, Dr. Huxable, the head of the [ __ ]. family in the the most wholesome sitcom. Everybody loved it. Crossed the race. barrier. Made everybody think of like. this black family who's like incredibly. respectful and well put together and how. great is this amazing that doesn't exist. without him, >> right? Yeah. >> Right. Right. Right. >> And he had a gynecology office in his. basement which he just slid past. everybody on the show. >> He had a gynecology office.

>> Yeah. Dr. Dr. Huxville was a. gynecologist and the he was a doctor and. in his basement is where he saw the. women and no one thought anything about. it. >> Well, how about the one episode that he. did about Spanish Fly, >> dude. And the he would talk about it in. his act. He has like old records of. Spanish Fly. Yeah. >> Where he's just talking about it like. the whole audience is like, "Yeah, the. rape drug. That's hilarious. Yeah. Oh, Bill. >> He had a whole episode of the show about. his special barbecue sauce. >> Yes. Oh, and everybody started making. out with each other and they groping.

each other. >> How crazy is that? >> Well, did you ever see the Cosby. Mysteries intro? >> No. >> It's a pill going into a martini and. then it just says Cosby Mysteries. >> Like what? >> Yeah. Like I think he was more deviant. than we actually realized and was. leaving these like little like taunting. breadcrumbs. I had heard that he was. doing that kind of stuff in the 90s when. I was on news radio. I'd heard from. people that knew him or people that knew. of him like that he drugs girls. I was.

like what? Bill Cos I was like this is. cra this is crazier than Lee Harvey. Oswald acted alone. Like what are you. talking about? >> Yeah. I heard he was like a I heard he. had sex with a lot of women and I was. like well okay like that it's a. different thing. Like that's a you know. I'm like whatever. So he's not spotless. I would assume. I heard about it in. Hollywood that he was people knew it was. like an inside secret. >> But then like when I started becoming a. comic and I was doing small stuff like. an as like not the the HBO Vegas.

festival. >> is it the cosmic mysteries. Oh, that's. weird. >> Okay. But this is like. >> reflections in it. >> But this is a a mystery like someone's. drugging someone. This is this was a. show. >> about This was like a cop show, right? >> Yeah. He came back out to. >> He came back out and did a cop show. >> Yeah. >> How weird. >> It's just crazy that the first thing in. it though is a drink being drugged. >> How weird. >> The cop When was the Cosby Mysteries? >> Oh, I think it was.

>> Say '94. >> Was it 90? Yeah, mid '9s. >> How long did that last? >> I think the season or two4. >> Yeah, 94. Yeah, it didn't last very. long. >> Wow. Yeah. People wanted to see him in. comedies. It's like why why do you have. the most loved comedy sitcom star ever? >> And his his film career wasn't great. It. was like Ghost Dad and you know he did. it was all very. >> I Fat Elbert there was a story and I. can't remember if it was Fat Elbert, but. uh what's his name? Keenan Thompson was. talking about one of the first times he.

met Bill Cosby and he was like, you. know, like you're going to you're going. to need two dicks for all the [ __ ]. you're going to get. And he was like, what the [ __ ] like he just couldn't. believe it was like one of the first. things Cosby had said to him. >> Whoa. >> So, it's like he kind because you just. meet that guy and you kind of wouldn't. expect it to switch so hard, >> especially a guy who's. >> who's been telling people not to, especially after Eddie Murphy stories. and all that stuff like you know. >> Eddie Murphy from Raw. >> Yeah, dude. And he's like, "Tell Mr. Tell Mr. Cosby the Richard Prior have a.

coke and a smile and shut the [ __ ] up.". >> Yeah. Do the people laugh? Do you get. paid? >> Yeah. Be ready because when this movie. comes out, you're going to need two. dicks because the women are going to be. all over you. The sketch called Wow. >> Yeah. So, it was that. >> Wow. >> And imagine saying that to somebody over. Fat Elbert. He's like, "Are you sure. that one?". >> I think when he was young that drugging. people was normal. That's what I think. I think that whole Spanish fly era where.

people were just giving people. Mickeyy's, they're putting things in. people's drinks. I think. >> I think people did that all the [ __ ]. time. I think it was super normal. >> and then I think society eventually. evolved and people realize how [ __ ]. horrible that is. >> Yeah. >> And then he kept going. >> Oh, >> that was his move. >> Yeah, absolutely. >> Especially when he got old and ladies. didn't want to [ __ ] him. They wanted a. career and they thought maybe Bill Cosby. said he's going to help me with my. acting. Next thing you know, you wake up.

and your panties are off. You're like, "What happened?" And a lot of them too. when you see like the roles they would. get on the Cosby show now you have like. supermodel looking women playing a cop. >> and it's like he would have private. dinners with them you know like in his. green room just little like super shady. [ __ ]. >> boy. >> Yeah. So yeah like he I guarantee you. maybe him and uh who was it? Jordan uh. I've met him uh Belffor. You've probably. met him too. The Wolf of Wall Street. guy.

>> Yeah. I'm thinking like Cosby and him. may have been the last people on earth. to ever have quaudes. Like one of them. had. >> What was quaudes like? >> I never did quaudes. It they were I. think they were a big fan. >> See, he's older older to remember that. >> Yeah, cuz I've heard him talk about it. >> But I've never done qualudes. I think. they were like I think the last one was. like. >> 90. Look at that. She'll do things she's. never done before. Increases sexual. I. don't even think it's real, >> dude. It's an ad for rape. >> Yeah, that's real. But the stuff.

>> Yeah. It says it comes from parts of a. beetle. >> That's what they used to say. >> So it really works. >> Whether it works or not, I would say, >> but that's what I'm saying. I mean, I'm. sure it's real as like a product, but I. don't think it there's a thing that. actually makes you horny. >> Said it would give you extra like it's. like a pre Viagra type thing. >> Yeah, but that doesn't get you horny. Like Viagra is it just increases blood. flow. >> Someone had it when I was maybe I don't. know in middle school. Somebody had. >> Spanish fly. Yeah, like a bottle of.

something that said Spanish fly. >> Okay, Google this. It does Spanish fly. work? >> That's sort of what I was getting. I. ended up in marketing cuz I. >> look at all the. love. Look at this love with no strings. attached. It's a flight attendant ad. >> Flight attendants were [ __ ] hot back. then. They would hire they would hire. only hot flight attendants. >> They would fire you if you weren't. >> Spanish fly movie. So just Google this. for me. Does Spanish fly actually make. you aroused?

>> Yeah, >> dude. If there's a movie, it was. popular. >> Does it work? >> Oh. Oh, let's see. Spanish fly is not an. aphrodesiac. It's a toxic substance. called. car. canthoridin. Canthoridin derived from blister beetles. that can cause severe harm including. pain, burning, and internal damage. There's no evidence it increases sexual. desire. Ingesting canththerin.

canthorodin can be fatal. While it. causes burning sensation in the urinary. tract that can provoke an erection. >> Yes. >> It is a dangerous side effect, not an. aphrodesiac effect. So it gives you a. boner while you're dying. >> Yeah. >> What would it do to women then if you're. >> right? >> I guess knock you out and that's why. they're like, "She's horny, bro.". >> Okay, so just Google this. Is there a. drug that makes you horny? Just Google. that. >> Yeah, put it in real. >> Put it in a chat. GPT perplexity or.

something. >> MDMA. I would, you know, that. >> but it makes you loving, right? It makes. you like kind and want to hug people. I. don't think it makes you sexual, >> but if you were rolling, I mean, and. like a girl just like touched your knee. in a way. You were like, "Come." You. know, it was just sort of. >> It was pretty crazy. >> Soft dick. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's what sucked is it didn't it. didn't help your libido. >> No universally proven aphrodesiac drug. exists that reliably increases sexual.

desire across all individuals. The. concept of an aphrodesiac, a substance. that enhances libido or sexual. performance has been around for. centuries, but scientific evidence is. limited and often inconclusive. So sub some substances are marketed as. that. Historical cultural substances, foods like oysters, okay, chocolate, okay, none of that stuff works. um. medications, Viagra. But again, these they treat. erectile dysfunction by improving blood. flow, not by increasing desire. >> Examples of.

>> Yeah. No, no, no. I get it. Um hormonal. treatments, testosterone therapy, boost. libido. Yeah, but it's it doesn't like. just make you horny out of nowhere. >> Yeah. I don't think there's anything. like What is horny goat weed at a gas. station? That's just like poison, right? >> Bath salts. Remember bath salts? Bath. salts they used to sell at the gas. station and it was basically like some. kind of like horrible drug that they. snuck in by saying it was not for human. consumption. Yeah. But it was a bath.

salt. So you throw it in the bath. >> and then Well, you would consume a human. cuz you remember when the guy ate the. dude's face. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That guy in Florida. But I always feel like got to put that. through the Florida lens. It only. happened in Florida. >> That's true. If it is Florida, you're. like there could have been other. elements. >> There's a lot of other elements in. Florida. Yeah, there's a whole lifestyle. that could have led to this. A lot of. choices. >> But Florida, where that was the the. place where the the pill mills really. started popping off cuz the way Florida. had it set up, they had these pain. management centers. Yep.

>> And then attached to the pain management. centers, they'd have a doctor that would. prescribe it for you. So the the whole. thing was just to prescribe pain pills. So you'd go, excuse me, you go to the. pain management center. Oh, my back. hurts. Great. You need this? Go right. next door. And right next door, all they. prescribed was pain pills. And they. didn't have a database. So you would go. there and then you go down the street. Oh, my back hurts. Oh, great. Here you. go. And then next door. And you could. just keep doing this over and over. again. And then this documentary, the.

Oxycontton Express, showed how people. were loading up the trunks of their cars. with these pain pills and driving up. north and into Kentucky into Ohio. And. and that's where all these people. started dying of overdoses and all. people got addicted to pills. There was. also one in Richmond, I want to say. right outside of Richmond, uh a. pharmaceutical company that was also. largely responsible for it cuz I. remember even being uh working at a. pharmacy and going like my mom was an RN. so I'd go in there. I remember the.

doctors or not the doctors but like I. remember companies taking out the. doctors to eat or like you'd see like. oxycottton reps or you'd sign with a pen. that had a painkiller's name on it. Yep. >> All that stuff. I remember. >> my wife's mom's a nurse and she would. tell stories about how they the. pharmaceutical drug companies would take. them out to nice steak dinners and treat. them really nice and just the whole. thing was like make sure you push our. [ __ ]. >> It was Yeah. give our product to the. people coming. >> and tell people how great it is. How. great is our product, >> dude? They used to give a lot like I was.

getting my when I got my knee messed up. I got hooked on oxy uh on Vicodin and I. had I had taken lots of Vicodin before, but I took a prescribed amount that was. just way too many for several months in. a row. And then when I came down, it was. one of the sickest times I've ever had. to deal with. I'm like shaking, you. know, I'm throwing up every few minutes. And this was the allowed amount I was. supposed to take. Like. >> how long did you. >> Four a day for two months. >> And then.

>> And how long was like the before you. became normal again? Oh god, it I felt. real bad for about four to five days. Like for me, even when I quit smoking, like I I used to smoke three packs a day. for almost uh 12 years. >> Wow. >> And but I did a lot of acid and shrooms. and [ __ ] and it was fun, you know, like. one after the other one, dude. It was. but it felt good, you know? >> So like yeah, I would do that but um. even that I locked myself in a room when. I was living in LA and I just didn't. leave I didn't leave the room for a.

week. I just got clean, >> dude. I just let my body deal with the. pain and then I left. Like, >> so it usually takes me about that long, you know, to to really detox my system. if it's something that isn't. >> killer. Alcohol was hard. Alcohol was. really hard cuz I had started shaking. when I wouldn't drink when I was 16. >> Ooh boy. So, >> so you got addicted to it early, >> dude. Very early. >> So, it's like a genetic thing with your. family. >> Big time. And I didn't know about that. until later, you know, and like my my.

dad had talked to me a bit before he. died. And like, you know, he died when I. was 18. And but he he finally talked to. me about what was going on with the. family and stuff I hadn't known. And my. uncle who I figured had died of a heroin. overdose, but my mom's like, "He just. had a big heart.". >> Oh boy. >> And you're like, "Did he? Can I just. know the truth?" You know, and it turned. out it was lines of years of addiction. Like my dad's dad was uh a Irish guy. Left him the day he was born. Walked in, saw my dad was a twin. He had a twin.

sister and goes, "I'm not raising two.". And walked out. >> Oh boy. >> So then he was the opposite dad. He was. loving coach, all that stuff. You know, he he he turned it. But. >> [ __ ] by the government. >> Oh yeah. And then [ __ ] by the. government. He became a very he Yeah. And. >> it's crazy how that kind of addiction. addiction and mental illness is just. [ __ ] hardcore genetic. And when you have a family that has a. long history of mental illness, it's. very rare that you're like, "I'm fine.". >> Oh, yeah. It's very rare that you're an. anomaly.

>> Yeah. I'm fine. It's usually. >> Maybe you're not. >> Good. >> Yeah. And I just know so many people. that are alcoholics that who their. family's an alcoholic. Like guys, I had. a buddy that he would drink and his eyes. would glaze over and it wouldn't be him. anymore. It like, "Oh, he's gone. We. just got to wait until he comes back. because right now it's whatever the [ __ ]. happens to him when he drinks. >> Just crazy. Off the rails. Like didn't. remember anything. Full blackout. Oh. yeah. >> You'd have to tell him you don't.

remember being on the table with your. dick out. You don't remember? He didn't. remember anything. >> I was the guy on that side of the phone. calls. >> See, and they were like, "You need to. apologize to this person all the time.". >> All the time. So you didn't remember. anything? >> I wouldn't remember most. Sometimes I'd. brown out so I'd kind of remember what. we did. There was times where I actually. I was at a party, right? And then I wake. up and I'm handcuffed to a a bed in a. hospital getting charcoal dumped down. >> getting my stomach pumped. So I'm like,

"Oh god, >> oh, something happened.". >> Cuz like I. >> But I went from like like being at a. party to just being woken up with a. charcoal stomach pump and I'm like this. isn't good. >> Do you talk about any of this stuff on. stage? >> I do. Yeah. Oh, imagine you have to like. what a so ripe for material. >> Yeah. I put out a book. It's called. Party who won a fuzzy memoir a little. while ago and it's it's all stories of. my youth because I I was trying to get. it all out and then I had to ask people. and I I didn't put it out for years.

because I wanted to be like, "Hey, is it. cool if I. >> change like talk about and everybody was. but and a couple of my friends who are. my really good friends I had to [ __ ]. with where I'm like, "Don't worry, I. changed your name from Brian to Ryan so. no one knows the little [ __ ] like that. But but yeah, I talk about a lot of this. on stage because dude, I got. institutionalized. I got like Yeah, it. was all like crazy. Like. >> how'd you get institutionalized? >> Um I the story I talk about in the book. is what happened the night before. Well, not the book, but on stage cuz I have to.

kind of sum it up. I actually did it on. this is not happening Ari show. And uh. what happened was was I used to like. bong pints and fifths for like a party. trick and I could carry around a case of. beer and you know drink that in the. night and mind you I'm 5'6. but then I'm in high school I probably. weighed 140 lbs dude like I was and if I. wasn't on if I wasn't on LSD and I. wasn't on mushrooms and I wasn't on K I. was drunk. >> Wow. >> So I would switch it all up. And the.

night before I had bonged a fifth at a. party like my. >> What do you mean by bonged? >> Um you know the beer bongs that you use. that have like the funnel and go. through. So my friend Anthony pulled out. this beer bong and my friend Nick poured. in an entire fifth of Absolute Vodka and. Nick's like, "Dude, don't do this.". >> You just drank the whole thing? >> Well, they put in a cap full of Sprite, then I drank the whole thing. And dude, I guess I I say this in the story. because I This is what I was told. happened. I was tap dancing. I told my. girlfriend who I love that she had.

orangutang titties and then. >> and then I fell through a table. >> A glass table. >> Oh no. >> And then yeah, I ended up getting taken. home by the cops. I don't know exactly. what happened, but my mom ended up. calling the police, which is, you know, like she didn't know what to do. I was. doing something, >> right? >> And they arrested me and I was. institutionalized. for two weeks. And I I stayed with a kid. who thought he was a werewolf. >> So you had to go to a mental health.

institution. >> I went to a mental health institution. because they weren't they didn't realize. it was an addiction. They just arrested. me because my behavior was so erratic. >> Oh. >> And I remember getting there and I met. my and I'm not kidding. I met my. roommate who was he was a werewolf. That's what he believed. And I'm like I. don't want to I don't want to stay with. him. And they're like, "Well, he's not. really a werewolf." I'm like, "Yeah, I. know. He's. >> What happens when the moon turns full?". >> Well, he attacked me. >> Oh boy. >> Yeah. So, and they hit you, what they do. is they grab a tank, a trank, it's. called booty juice,

>> and they hit you in the butt with it. And like the guards will fight you off, >> but after two weeks, they're like, he's. not, it's not so much that he's got. mental illness, which he does, but he's. an alcoholic. He's a severe alcoholic. And. >> but your roommate, the werewolf. >> Yeah. >> He attacked you when the moon turned. white. >> Yeah. One night, he just started. howling. And I don't even think wolves. howl. And he was way bigger than me. You don't. they wolves how you not werewolf. werewolves they do. Yeah. American were. off in London. >> Oh bark. But he was barking too. And.

this. >> patient say sedative known as booty. juice injected against their will. >> Yeah. >> Growing number of children and teenagers. admitted voluntarily. north of Texas for-profit psychiatric. hospitals told WFAA they've been. injected with powerful sedative drugs. without their parents' knowledge. Booty. juice. >> Yeah. Which I that kid deserved it. They. shouldn't have called the parents and. go, "Hey, your wolf boy is [ __ ] naked. trying to eat a guy.". >> Was he naked when he. >> ripped all his clothes off cuz he. thought he was a werewolf, dude.

>> So, tell me what that was like. >> Well, he's jumping on top of me and I. grabbed a lamp to hit him with it, but. it was [ __ ] glued down cuz it's a. mental hospital. So, that just kind of. made me open my arms to him. And he's on. top trying to bite me and I'm like. holding him back. And that's when they. came in and they run they ran at him. They hit him with the syringe. They. pulled him off me. And I'm just sitting. there like, I want to be here. Like I'm. I'll never drink again, you know, like. basically crying like a [ __ ] Like and. you know I I'll never drink again was. like my catchphrase through the 90s.

>> So they pull him out of there and then, you know, and then eventually they they. sent me off to a rehab where I spent uh. I think I spent 45 days there and I. heard it's not there anymore, which is a. shame because a lot of kids do need that. now. And I heard they took it down. Like. it's no longer there. And I went there. and and the second I got out, I didn't. drink. I didn't drink for like a month, but the second I got in my friend's car, I hit a joint. And I'm not saying that. that's bad, but it's like, dude, the.

second I I was I was They're like, "You. can't drink, right?" And I'm like, "Yeah, like you can smoke weed." I'm. like, "Yeah, that was a big deal." So, I. immediately hit a joint. >> Oh my god, Dave. >> Yeah. >> Jesus Christ. >> It's kind of amazing that you're here, >> dude. Yeah. I got in a lot of [ __ ] Like. >> you look great though. Like for a guy. who's gone through as much [ __ ] as you. >> Yeah. Like. >> three packs a day, alcohol, acid, >> dude. So much acid. >> DUIs.

falls through the table. Look at you. fine. You know what? You know what is. interesting though? All the drugs now, cuz like I told you, I was real like. kind of depressed kid. >> And all the drugs that I did to treat. depression are now used to treat. depression. Mushrooms, ketamine, all. that [ __ ] dude. Like I'm I spent 5. years in high school when it turns out I. was completely accurate. >> with my studies of how these drugs would. help me. >> You were self-medicating. >> and I was accurate with it. >> cuz dude I would do K and I just be.

sitting there in a Khole in class just. think the desk is moving. >> Jesus, dude. >> And acid was the most fun to do in class. cuz your teacher's face is melting and. you're just sitting there like it's so. much fun. >> Wow. But I was a I was a mess, but at. the same time so many of my friends were. too. It wasn't like just me, >> right? So it felt normal. >> Yeah. Like I mean I was the worst of. them and technically slowest cuz I was. arrested more than anybody. So. >> you were the most fun. What did you. think you were going to do for a living.

back then? >> The only thing I ever loved was acting. and comedy. >> Oh, okay. >> My dad would wake me up when I was a kid. to watch SNL. Uh, and like it wasn't. something that him and my brother, they'd watch like baseball and stuff, but we'd watch SNL together. We would. watch like old movies with like John. Candy, Steve Martin, like all those. people. And then he introduced me to. standup. And my dad bought me um. >> uh he bought me Kenisonson, Carlin. He. bought me Carlin Classic Gold on tape. when I was nine.

>> Wow. >> Which had Seven Dirty Words and all. that. Um, he bought me Dangerfield, Button Down Mind of Bob New Hart, Eddie. Murphy. He showed me delirious when I. was like eight. >> Wow. >> And I dude I still laugh so hard cuz. that like uh the whole bit he does about. the hamburger was so relevant then. Like. I got McDonald's at home and he's like. you can't have none. You on the welfare. and I I knew what that meant then and I. was crying laughing cuz I love Eddie. Murphy, you know. So he introduced me to. comedy and the only thing I had any. interest in was that and and one day.

Second City opened up in Detroit and I. was pissing this teacher off somewhat. and she stopped me after class and she. goes, "Do you know what Second City is?". And I go, "Uh, yeah, my dad's told me. about it. It's like where all these SNL. people came from." And she's like, "Yeah, you're actually really funny, but. you're a [ __ ] pain in the ass in my. class." And I was like, "Okay, >> that's a cool teacher.". >> It really was. And she goes, "Um," she. goes, "You should consider taking.

classes there." And I said, >> "Wow.". >> Okay. So, after my fifth year, the first. thing I did was I listened to her and my. dad and I signed up for Second City. And. dude, years later, I'm doing improv on. stage with this group, Motor City. Improv. And like it's more bar prov. You're just [ __ ] around, you know? But, uh, my one of the guys in the group. was, "Hey, my wife's going to come, too." And it was my teacher. And I got. to do improv with her years later. >> Wow. >> And it was it was really cool, man, because like she it was the first time.

somebody didn't scold me. They stopped. me to go like, >> you genuinely have something and you're. not just this waste, >> right? >> And no one had ever besides my parents, but nobody else had ever said that. before. >> Well, that's so cool that she was. already in that world, so she. understood. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. We were actually just having a. conversation about that last night in. the green room. Not last night, night. before. And we were talking about times. in your life that someone could have. just told you this is behavior like a. stand-up comedian. Like that's a real. job.

>> Yeah. >> You know, you know how you know you like. fixing cars and you could be a mechanic, you know, you like talking [ __ ] you're. funny, everybody laughs. This is a job. >> Like just but everybody just tells you. you're a [ __ ] loser and you're never. going to amount to anything and get out. of my class. >> And that's and I was very lucky. Like my. parents, my dad had had was just about. to pass when I told him I think I'm. going to do Second City and then take. this film class up in Lancing, Michigan, which is what I did. I did film and I. did that and I would go back and forth. And he was like, "You should like that's.

what you've always wanted to do." Like I. had had a camera in my hand since I was. a kid. Like my parents never wanted me. to have a backup plan. They were like, "Find something you love." Like that's, you know, and and we were really only. torn apart as a family because of what. we experienced, >> you know, from my dad just being. screwed. >> Yeah. >> So, we were if I think if I had given a. more direct line, I may have gotten. there sooner, you know, but I was I was. angry and depressed and pissed off and,

you know, my my whole attitude was [ __ ]. you, [ __ ] the system. >> So, the when I finally found that. outlet, >> it was wonderful, dude. Especially when. you're writing sketches and watching. them come to life and you're ripping on. the people that have [ __ ] you over and. like there's such a good feeling about. that. >> And a lot of people that I met have gone. on to do great things. Like I was in a. troop with Sam Richardson who went on to. do uh. >> Detroititers and you know I uh there's. Tim Robinson who I didn't know him well. or anything but we did improv a couple. times and it's cool to see him like.

skyrocket with I Think You Should Leave. and all these other stuff and Keegan. Michael Key was somebody that was out of. the Detroit chapter. So, there's like. some really cool people that ended up. coming out of there. >> What was the standup scene like? Like, what was the big club? >> Uh, the big club was Mark Ridley's. Comedy Castle. >> Okay. I heard of that place. >> Yeah. And I started That's. >> supposed to be a great spot, >> dude. It's unbelievable. And he he was. the guy who you wanted to do standup in. front of because he was there every. night tearing tickets like. >> he he was Dude, he was a part of it from. the late 70s. >> until he had a heart attack maybe around.

2010. His son Ryan Ridley was uh the. headwriter of uh Rick and Morty. >> Oh, wow. So he dude he's a great dude. and um. >> you just had Mike Costa on. >> Yes. >> Mike was in my group when I started. Oh. no. >> Yeah. He was one of the people that I. started with and then a guy named Matt. Mlower who's he's actually featuring for. me this weekend who's unbelievably funny. dude. >> at the mother show. >> Yeah. Oh nice. >> Yeah. Yeah. He's got asberers. Adam. knows him. And dude he's funny as Yeah. Yeah. If any luck he'll think he's a. lady. >> At least he doesn't think he's a. werewolf.

>> But yeah, dude he's he's a beast. And. like we had a pretty cool group when we. started where we weren't kissing each. other's ass. We were all just trying to. figure it out. >> Oh, that's great. >> So, we would like criticize each other. and like we've all done pretty well. considering like. >> where people have gone off to, you know, at least in the sense of making money. and making a living, you know, making. making people laugh. Like, and. >> that's awesome. We were lucky cuz there. was like 10 different clubs in Detroit. where you could go like, "Okay, I'll go. do Ridley's in the suburbs, but then I. can go do a super urban room, you know,

in the city and I can get used to that. audience. Then I can go to Ann Arbor and. I can be in a bunch of in front of. liberals at the showcase or at the H. Highleberg project and then I can go, you know, so you could go. >> all over and you could experience every. kind of audience you could ever be in. front of at 10 different places in a. week.". >> That's awesome. >> It was really cool. That's awesome. Well, >> listen, dude. This was a lot of fun. >> Thank you. I really like talking to you. >> I'm glad you're alive. Listen to your. stories. It's kind of a miracle that you.

made it this far, but uh you're a good. dude and it's always fun to have you at. the club. It's been a lot of fun. >> and I'm excited to see you this weekend. >> I appreciate it, Joe. Thank you very. much. >> My pleasure, brother. Uh tell everybody. how they can find you, all your stuff. online. >> Oh, uh you can go to davelando.com. Um I. have everything on there. You can check. out tour dates and everything. And um. also yeah I guess I brought up my book. party of one a fuzzy memoir it did. really well on Amazon. >> and uh yeah it's a lot of people have. enjoyed it and a lot of the stories will. be much funnier to you than they were. for me to live. So I hope you enjoy it.

>> All right beautiful. All right. Thanks. brother. >> Thank you. >> Bye everybody. [Music]. [Applause]. [Music].