Joe Rogan Experience #2339 - Luis J. Gomez & Big Jay Oakerson

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe. Rogan Experience. Train by day. Joe. Rogan podcast by night. All day. Live and running. Yeah. The ever greater. and thinner Big Jay Oerson. Thank you, Marjaro. Shout out Marjaro. You're. looking good, dude. Big ups, Marjaro. It's nice to see, you know. Thank you. I. am exercising, too. Beautiful. You have. to or it will just be floppy and weird. and gross. Or it'll eat your bones, I.

guess. Also, yes, it'll eat your bones, they say. I'm real big on taking this stuff and. then not really following up with like, you know what I mean? I just started. doing testosterone from a company that's. like, you know, it's above board taking. it, but like they're like, "You should. make sure you monitor your blood all the. time." And I'm like, "Yeah, we'll get to. that at some point." I'm going to keep. taking it though. You don't monitor your. blood at all? No, not me with any regularity. I think. you should probably do that. Yeah, they. did it there. I know someone I know says. they take testosterone and they have to.

like donate blood every month to get. blood. I've heard that before so thick. I talked to my doctor about it because. that really doesn't make sense. But he. has heard of occasions where people had. to do that to unthicken their blood. Too. much blood or something. They're like, "How much are you taking? Like what are. you doing? You going ham, bro?" This. man's health company saw me coming down. the road a mile away. They offer me. I'm. taking two peptides and I don't even. know. We started. Sorry. We couldn't. wait. Why even ask me? I I don't know. Why? Why you were on the door? I was.

like, this doesn't make sense. Let's. just start. I'm taking two peptides. They feel like fire. It feels like fire. when I inject them. But really, what are. they? I don't Well, the BPC57. That's. the one everyone's doing, right? That's. a good one. And then something that's. blue. It's blue. Oh, methylene blue. I. don't know. It burns. Wait a minute. Hold up. Methylene blue. You're not. supposed to inject. It's not that then. It's G. It starts with a G. It's some. other letters. GH. Methylene blue is. weird stuff. It's uh it's a dye for like.

fabrics that people take for its health. benefits. Like it what the [ __ ] Boost. mitochondria or something. Yeah, it's. really weird. Like what exactly does it. do? I should ask. Even though I take it, I'm like I don't take it all the time, but I have taken it and I don't know. I. couldn't I couldn't describe. I couldn't. explain exactly. Here it is. a. medication used uh in the management and. treatment of what's that word? Methyl.

methoglobanemia. Meth methoglobanemia. A condition where hemoglobin decreases. its ability to carry oxygen. Huh? Straight up. But it started out as a. fabric dye. I'm pretty sure, right? Doesn't it say that? What is it. two for humans? I think it was a dye. Yeah, which is so weird that a dye would. have health benefits. I grew up in a. house of supplements. My stepfather was.

a powerlifter, so I only know about. creatine. Thick. Uh, that's it. Creatine. Creatinine was another one. that would show up in the house. sometimes. Creatinine. Really? Yeah. What's that? I don't know. But I think. Jasonine twice and he's just remembering. it wrong. No, it was another word. Super creatine. Creatine's legit. That stuff's super. good for you. Yeah. I just started. taking Tongad Ali for my uh. testosterone. Creatinine is a waste.

product that forms from the breakdown of. creatine in muscles. Huh? Why would I. take it? There's another uh natural one. What? I think it's called turquesterone. I know chilleit is good for. testosterone. I my doctor I asked my doctor to put me. on testosterone. I think we talked about. it cuz you're like, "Dude, I got Don't. worry. [ __ ] your doctor. I got a doctor. for you." And I was just like, "Yeah, maybe I I'll just stop smoking weed.". You think that was killing your. testosterone? I think so. It was It was. like lower than it should have been. It.

was like in the high 30s and now it's at. like mid fives. Well, like a good. doctor, what they'll do first is ask you. like, "What do you do for exercise? What. are you eating? How much do you sleep?". Like those things are all the first. thing the doctor will ask you. And if. all that stuff's [ __ ] up, they. shouldn't just give you testosterone. They should be like, "Let's My place did. shout out game day men's health. 15 minutes. They'll give me anything I. want in a needle." There's a few doctors. out there that like to go buck wild. Of. course, I think they get incentivized. I.

got PRP treatment in my hair. I'm not. losing my hair. They just talked me into. it. Now it's never going away. PRP. worked. I don't know. We're going to. find out. I just got it like two weeks. ago. Jay is a His hair's thinning. He's. It It's definitely going. There's a. bunch of topical stuff that you could. use these days. Sure. There's like a. finasteride topical, but I would worry. that that would get into your skin and. into your bloodstream. Like that. finasteride stuff is crazy. Like that. makes some people very depressed. It. kills your DHT, which is what keeps your.

hair from falling out. And for some. people, they just it kills their. testosterone. They get like super. depressed. Yeah. I started losing my. hair when I was 18. And I just said, "Fuck it. I was bald." What's that? I. love not having to talk to a barber. That's the best. You shave it, which is. a big razor. [ __ ] beautiful. How do. you find out how much that your barber. doesn't know you, but is a big fan of. Ralph Barbosa? You guys aren't going to. find out if you get from your barber. I. don't know you, but. you know, dog.

Oh, Kenny. His name's Kenny. He's a nice. enough guy. Ralph Barbos is slick. He's. like a slick comedian. Like his. punchlines are like smooth, you know. It's great. Very funny, man. Yeah. He's. got a great fully loaded with him. He's. like he makes he's got a fun like just. his approach. I like it. It's very. slick. Yeah. You know, and he's sending. the elevator down. I mean, he's going. taking guys on tour that I've never. heard of, but I think been around for a. long time. Cool move. That's great. Yeah. Very good dude. He hung out with. us at the mothership one night. Fun guy.

Yeah. He got popular for uh he like. someone said on like George Lopez's show. or something they were like this guy. sucks or no George Lopez was like I. don't get it he's just whatever and then. I think someone was talking well about. him and then George Lopez was very. dismissive of him and I think that's. what happened and someone asked Ralph B. on some on something and his response I. think is what made it like very popular. I think he was just saying because he. goes he doesn't like me because one of. his one of his comments goes like oh. delay.

and I think that just you know you show. any picture of George Lopez bugging his. eyes out and make that hilarious. That's. hilarious. It's good [ __ ] good fireback. Yeah. Are you good at living in comedy beefs? I'm so terrible at it. No, I don't like. comedy beefs. [ __ ] hate it. I don't. like any beefs. Louis, you've been in a. few where you've gone to bed on I mean, I guess I have those same beefs, too, but I don't engage as much with No, I'm. a loser. I just I get on a flight and. I'll be on Twitter for [ __ ] hours. just tweeting at people for no reason at.

all. No, but I mean like particular like. a a person you could put a face to like. a comic like not that I haven't had a. problem with somebody before. Um, but I. mean like I don't know. I have a hard. time like sleeping on like I'm going to. run this person every night and we hate. each other. It's been a while. I mean I. I'm not It's just not that serious. There's nobody in the world that I hate. Like there's literally no even people. that hate me. I'm like, "Yeah, dude. We're cool." The guy that murdered your. father, dude. I tried to get him on my. podcast. True. Oh my god. So, the guy My. father was stabbed to death when I was. four years old. And then years later,

after the guy got out of prison, I was. like, "Let me try to get this guy on my. podcast and interview him." How. interesting would that be? Oh my god. Um, but he was already dead. Yeah, dude. That would have been insane. Yeah, cuz I. didn't I wasn't like cuz I was a kid. Why? Imagine there being like a [ __ ]. 75year-old man like showing up at this. young guy's house who you stabbed his. dad. You're going to be alone together. That guy's going to kill you. Yeah, maybe. That's what I would think. If I. was an old man, I couldn't defend. myself. I don't think it was that old. He was 17 when he killed my father. Oh,

wow. So, he was only 13 years older than. me. So, he'd be like 60 now, I guess. Yeah. But this is like a decade ago that. I was going to do that. Guy's a. convicted murderer, dude. He could [ __ ]. your [ __ ] up. Yeah. when he was a kid. and my father beat him up. My father was. a bully. What if Conor McGregor? He. goes, "Well, Lewis, I'd like to say I. apologize to absolutely [ __ ] nobody. at all.". Yeah. Um, but I thought that would have. been an interesting conversation and I. wasn't like going into it being like, "Oh, you've killed my father. I'm. angry." I got a great life. My father.

lived, I would be [ __ ] I'd probably. live in Patterson, New Jersey still. I'd. have a [ __ ] life. My father was a. [ __ ] We always tell ourselves a drug. dealer and a pimp. If he if he was. alive. Yeah, it worked out well. Yeah, but that's always I say, "Hey, if my dad. stuck around, maybe I wouldn't have the. personality to have and I wouldn't be. where I'm at." So, maybe it would be way. better. No. Well, I wouldn't have my. Maybe I'd be a head of state or. something. Like, if I that one sperm had. hit that one egg, I wouldn't have my son. right now if my father was alive. If. anything happened differently. Yeah. All. right, Ashton Coocher. That's butterfly.

effect over here. Guy watches one movie, all of a sudden figured out. Do you guys. ever think maybe we're just plugged into. a pod somewhere and this is all nothing? I'm going to see if I can fly real. quick. I think there's something to that. we're plugged into something. It seems. more like it every day. It seems like. this is like an advanced stage of the. video game right now where like they're. lighting cop cars on fire in LA and. throwing bricks off of overpasses. Dude, it does seem fun to order a Whimo and. light it on fire. Nobody gets hurt. It's. just hilarious. And I think it's. directionally correct.

Like you should probably start killing. robots. Like you guys are you on the. right course. They're early on the war. machine. They're trying to stop the. Terminator. Bro, these are all going to. be owned by corporations and it's going. to be the only way you're allowed to get. around cuz they're the safest. They're. going to take away everybody's driver's. license. It's going to get weird as. [ __ ] Oh yeah. But it's going to. probably The cars are going to go 200. miles an hour. Probably traffic will be. eliminated. Dude, I think they're going. to be more of these [ __ ] things that. we just saw in LA. That's what I think.

I've heard that uh teenagers are going. back to smoking regular cigarettes now. and getting away from vapes. We might. move back analog a little bit. You know. what I mean? Bring back manual cars. I. wonder if analog makes some sort where. it slows down because people want it to. slow down a little bit. Yeah, but it's too late. They they do. want it to slow down. Yeah. I mean, the. electric car didn't really take off the. way they'd hoped. Yeah. The problem with. electric cars is the charging time's too. much. It's too much. If you're a young. single woman and you have to charge your. car and you have to just sit there for a.

[ __ ] hour. I I also feel that way. So. I feel like you should just call me a. young single woman. Well, you're you're. a man. Any human any human's vulnerable, but like a woman by herself is. particularly vulnerable, right? Like if. you're a hot girl and you're sitting in. your car, how many [ __ ] creeps that. know that you have to be there for an. hour? How many creeps can bother you? That's a great idea, Joe. There you go. Let's find a hot start getting girls at. the [ __ ] charging stations. Tesla, get a large order and just walk. down the aisle of Teslas waiting to find.

a hot one. Looking Yeah, dude. Have you. ever Tesla doc [ __ ] Have Have you ever. driven one? Nah, dude. From the 70s. I. don't trust that electric [ __ ] I tried. I was going to rent one once and I they. give you the keys and I was like I was. like, this is going to be fun. And then. I remembered you have to charge it. I. was like, I got to drive to [ __ ]. Rhode Island right now. I was like, I'm. going to have to stop halfway there and. charge the car. I think I think you can. get I think you can get there. It's just. then you have to charge it. No, I don't. think we wouldn't have made it. No, it's. like the real mileage is different than. the mileage it says. So, it really. should say like percentage of battery,

but they want you to like estimate the. mileage, but it's all dependent upon how. fast you're going. Like, if you're. accelerating a lot, if you're moving. around, if you stop and go traffic, like. who knows what the real mileage is. If. you're on like say if you get stuck in a. crazy traffic jam for like four hours, like there's some explosion somewhere. like and you you supposedly have 200. miles on your car. Is that good for four. hours of you sitting there too with the. radio on with the air conditioning on? Like when is we're team Trump then? Not.

Elon. [ __ ] Elon M. If it's cold, if it's. cold, they die quick. They die quicker. Yeah, that happened in Chicago. Remember. when they had that [ __ ] big thing. where the highway got closed down and. people in Teslas were [ __ ] man, cuz. they just stopped working. Also, if you. blow a tire, like Tesla has to come fix. that. Really? Yeah. Why is that? I don't. know. But it's like they have to come. handle it. function of Teslas though is. amazing, dude. They're amazing. They. They [ __ ] drive themselves. You press. the you like where I go. You trust that.

100%. And I go and it just takes you. wherever you want to go. It changes. lanes, bro. It's nuts. You could be You. could put on like dark sunglasses at. night and just like have your hands on. the wheel. It's that good. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do I don't do it. I don't do it, but I have done it where. but I keep my hand near the wheel just. to see what it can do. It does. everything. Yeah. No, that's much. better. I do I get like road paralysis. where like if I'm like driving for more. than an hour and I'm looking at the. lines, not paralysis, um hypn what do.

they call it? Like road hypnosis. So. I'll get hypnotized by the lines and I. start falling I start falling asleep if. I have to drive for more than an hour or. two at night. You know how to fix that? Do you know. how to fix that? It's really easy. Uh. cocaine. No, no, no. Um no, that's not. cocaine for that. That'll work, too. You're right. But you have to keep doing. it over and over again. Um, get some ice. and um, just a washcloth. A washcloth. with wet washcloth with ice in it and. just rub your face. Rub your face. You. wake right up. You wake right up and it.

lasts for like ice wash you keep in your. car. Great. Love that. The uh, the. smelling salts you have in the club. Oh, those will do it. Those will do it. I do. I did a terrible prank. It might [ __ ]. you up. You're like you might change. lanes. You maybe shouldn't tell this. It. might be illegal what you've done. No, it's not illegal. That's definitely This. is a I will say it's a bad prank to do. on a girl. If this was a dude to do to. this is a crazy dangerous prank. If this. was a dude, everyone would have been. like, "Dude, great prank." But because I. did it to a girl, it was a little bit. [ __ ] up. So, we were at the mothership. last time we were doing our podcast and.

um our producer, Alex, is a girl and uh. she's a big pod. Huge pthead. Like real. deal. So, as as podcast producers are. also a mother and a wonderful producer. And a mother. Yes. Um better producer. than mother. No, she's great. So, I pull. I had the smelling salts and I I was. like, "Oh, these are [ __ ] strong.". They're really particularly strong. smelling salts. So, then I go, "Alex." I. was like, "This weed is [ __ ] great. Give it a whiff." Then I gave her the. smelling salt container. She put her. nose in it. Dude, she sniffed so hard. You know how ptheads want to smell weed.

She I mean, it was a 30-minute problem. She said the word why a lot. It was like. when Nancy Remember Nancy Carrian got. her slugged out by the [ __ ] she's like, "Why? I sweat blood for you. I flew here for. to help you produce a show. See, I felt. so bad. You should not do that. That was. It was a I I now it was a bad prank. But. if it was a dude, that's big of you. If. that was a dude, is it not just. undeniably hilarious? Brutal. Yeah. If. it's a guy, it's funny. Yeah. Funnier.

Yeah, it's funny. It's weird. It wasn't. funny. Do it to a guy, it's funny. Depend on the guy, you know? Like if you. you know, if you did it to David, it. would be mean. No, be funny. you do to. Kurt Mezer, he just starts punching. balls. He starts rattling off conspiracy. theories. Pretty girls being embarrassed. though is funniest [ __ ] Hilarious. It. is the most evening factor ever. I did a. uh when I was on tour with the bands. years ago, uh K did Joerger Meister. music tour, they always had the Jager. girls would hang out and I was on the. Joerger Meister production bus on this.

tour. So the girls would all come on. there. They were come and hang out and. drink for free on the bus. And you know. tour buses, you're not allowed to [ __ ]. on a tour bus. And only one of the. Jagger girls asked if she could use the. bathroom. It was just in the time we. were there. And she went, "Gorgeous. girl." And she came back out and she was. sitting down. And then the driver comes. to start getting the bus ready to leave. And just, you know, a toothless. [ __ ] road dog just comes in the bus. You go, "Somebody took a shit." And. everybody knew it was this hot chicken.

fishnetss. And I mean just the thing I was like she. was so beautiful that me probably in my. heaviest in my life I was like I. probably could get her now. She's the. [ __ ] girl. No one's seeking her out and. I'll still do it. Hilarious. You can't. clean up that good in a [ __ ] So it's. such a function that everybody has, but. for some reason I never want to hear. about a woman [ __ ] ever. Now what about the the Why don't they. develop a toilet that you can [ __ ] on on. a bus? Is that beyond our science? I.

don't know why it can't be. I'm sure. there's something that can be done. It. seems like it should be done. I think. they're just being lazy. No [ __ ] on. the tour bus. Wait, what if you have to. take a [ __ ] That's crazy. But they have. to empty it out. That's the problem. So. they I think you you can you can [ __ ] on. the tour bus, but the person that has to. clean the toilet has to now empty out. your [ __ ] amongst the piss like manually. with like a hose and [ __ ] That's what's. crazy. Some dude's job that he has to. like deal with. There should be. somewhere where you could pull over and. those rest stops have like a thing that. sucks your [ __ ] out.

Yeah. Like out of the tank. Yeah. That's. be very profitable for them. What are. they going to do? They'd have to store. your No, you figure it out. That's the. last thing you want to do is be in [ __ ]. storage. Truck stop. Yeah. Truck stop. [ __ ] story. They're sucking my [ __ ] out. outside. I'm in here buying jerky. No. When the Dave Matthews band incident in. Chicago, that's right. The bus driver. let that stuff out over the water and a. boat went underneath it and it. splattered the boat with doodoo from.

Dave Matthews band. Didn't you see a. thing recently where they got they show. like a cruise ship or something just. letting [ __ ] out of the front? Uh I. don't think that's real. I think I. thought that was real too. I think. that's like dredging. I'll be suckered. in a heartbeat by an AI thing. Oh yeah. Do you know that super hot down syndrome. girl isn't isn't real? Damn. That only. fans AI down syndrome girl. Oh, don't. know it. God, bro, nothing's real. anymore. How many videos have you seen? Like I I saw a thing about Trump saying. that they were going to genetically. engineer raptors and have the [ __ ].

troops ride them to protect the border. That's not real. But it's like you see. them that you know they bl brought back. the direwolf and could it be done? It's. like it's so hard to tell. Weaponizing. dinosaurs would be the funniest thing in. the world. Start over. Oh, is that fake? Well, all this it's like a quick series. of four or five little fake ones, but. they look they look real and then they. just go like, "This isn't real." By the. way, hi from the Cedar Grove flood. disaster. Just kidding. I'm not real.

This is Dana Brooks reporting live from. Ocean View Beach. Just kidding. I'm not real. This is. Charlotte Reed reporting live from. Clearwater Beach where an unidentified. Just kidding. I'm not real. Angela, is. she implying the Kraken is real? The. Kraken's real. I'm fake. How weird. Listen, eating healthy is hard. Like. really hard. I mean, you got to cook, meal plan, grocery shop, on top of all. the other [ __ ] you have to do. It's.

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One scoop a day, your body will thank. you. Again, that's drinkagg.com/joengan. Yeah, it is crazy. What? I mean, the. amount of like you and Theo Von aren't. two babies talking to each other. I. watch ads with you all the time. Companies just use your voice in AI now. I sent you one at one point where it's. just like I was like, I know this is not. Joe glazing this [ __ ] weird company. for, you know, a 10-minute read. I was. like, they really got him to do this, huh? So strange. Yeah. Do you try to put. a stop to that or you just say, "Fuck.

it." Yeah, you try. But the guy who made. that took 25 minutes. Wow. I told a uh I. told I told a racist street joke on. Legion of Skinks 10 years ago and me. saying the N word has been used in so. many memes and little But it's black. people react to it and they it's such a. funny street joke that they can't deny. it. It's like an undeniably funny thing. So it's always black people trying to. not laugh and they say it and I'm like. that's pretty good. That's pretty funny. Pretty great street joke. [ __ ] Some words are coming back. That.

one's not one of them. No, bro. These. ICE raids are [ __ ] nuts, man. Watching this this protest on. television, it's like You think the. raids are nuts? The pro the Yeah.ides. are taking it a little Well, I don't think if they the Trump. administration, if they're running and. they said, "We're going to go to Home. Depot and we're going to arrest all the. people at Home Depot. We're going to go. to construction sites and we're going to. just like tackle people at. constructions." I don't think anybody. would have signed up for that. They.

said, "We're gonna get rid of the. criminals and the gang members first.". Right. And now we're we're seeing like. Home Depot get raided. Like that's. crazy. Yeah. And then you've got this uh big. protest that's scheduled for the 14th. that's literally funded by the lady who. owns Walmart. The protest uh the protest. It's like no. kings. It's like a no kings protest. that's happening all across the country. and rapists and you know obviously but.

then they go to like a college campus. and there some kid about to graduate. they're like no you're out it's [ __ ]. up rapist criminals slow delivery people. um ones that can't dance or play the. flamco guitar I've got a list um I think. it's [ __ ] crazy how violent it's. gotten I don't they're throwing bricks. over overpasses that's what I mean but. again I think all these things 90% of. the people that are there are just like. let's rage [ __ ] Oh, 100%. Also,

there's people that are with Black Lives. Matter to protest. Yeah. They're saying. they're uh That's always the bricks. Piles of bricks are showing up like. there's construction sites around the. city. No, no, no. That was weird, dude. I was in the city during that time. You. were too during the pandemic. No, those. bricks were just [ __ ] out there. I. live on a police block. I was barricaded. in with them. Yeah. And I felt bad for. the black cops. I was going to be yelling at the black. cops and the black cops be like, "Sorry, man." And I'd have my hand on his. shoulder like, "You're going to be all. right. video of the cops getting the rocks.

thrown at them from the overpass. It's. crazy. They have to hide under the. overpass. They're throwing them at the. cops. I mean, you you you're 100%. possibly killing somebody. Yeah, it's. attempted murder. You You could with a. You had a [ __ ] cinder block brick. onto someone's head from an overpass. They're probably dead. It's good chance. Good [ __ ] chance. I mean, if Lord of. the Flies taught us anything, that's how. Piggy died. That's who I related to. This kind of [ __ ] can escalate. I'm. thinking of the good son where they push. the dummy off the overpass. Oh yeah,

remember make him think they killed. somebody. It's [ __ ] It's pretty wild. what's going But I mean I don't know. Like I said everybody running out of. like Louis Vuitton with a bunch of like. shirts and [ __ ] is you seen that? Oh. yeah. Oh, that's happening too. Oh, they're looting. Yeah. Oh, they're. looting. I didn't know they were looting. too. Hardcore. And I said it's funny. which if I was a 19-year-old kid, I. would be out there looting. unquestionably. Well, it's as soon as. lawlessness happens, people take. advantage. It's that's always going to. be the case, right? That's I think the. whole it is fun. I mean like these cops. are just standing though and like just. under non-stop graffiti. It's like.

murder all cops. They're just like. sitting there. It's like and the people. are try some people try to talk reason. to them to the cops. Like why don't you. do the right thing and not shoot me with. a rubber bullet like Well, you know what. the problem is? The problem is there's. cops that just shoot people with rubber. bullets for no reason. Did you see that. lady though, Australian reporter that. got shot? Did you see that video? It's. pretty hilarious. It's nuts cuz you see. the guy do it. You see the cop just look. at her while she's talking. She's. clearly not a criminal. She's just.

reporting the news. And he [ __ ]. shoots her in the leg with a rubber. bullet. The leg's hilarious. It's a. really good stuff. Let's watch this. That's funnier than making my producer. smell smelling salts. Dude, it's a real. dance [ __ ] moment. Dance, [ __ ] It's. crazy. It I mean, I can't I can't. believe that he would do this. This is. the Jake. Go full screen, please. Situation has now Watch this. This is. nuts. The LAPD moving in on horseback, firing rubber bullets at protesters, moving them on through the heart of LA.

She's got that shitty Australian accent, though. Watch this. [Laughter]. Dance, [ __ ] Bro, they just shot a. reporter. Like, look, that guy just. points and says, "Fuck this lady." It's. going to be good promotion, though, for. her 2,000 person gang bang she's doing. on Only Fans this summer. I mean, what. is that? Do you want to know why people. get angry at cops? It's [ __ ] like that. I would say you shoot a white woman. every couple minutes and everyone starts.

going like, "Oh, they're shooting. everybody." Is that a thing where you're. kicking everybody out of the street and. the press thinks they don't have to. listen? So, you don't want to listen. You're tired of this [ __ ] and you decide. to shoot her in the leg, which is. [ __ ] insane. That's so insane. You. don't You don't yell, "Lady, get out of. the [ __ ] street." Was there a. shooter? This one happened too. After. this minute goes down, this guy ends up. shooting him at close range. What is. this about? 40 mm. Yeah, I'm not going. anywhere. What's your badge number?

That's okay. I'm going to pop you right. now cuz you're taking up my focus. Whoa. I'm going to pop you right now cuz. you're taking up my focus. Look, it's. not okay. It's not okay. But I will say. I grew up at a time where if you talk. [ __ ] to cops, nobody had camera phones, nobody had anything. A cop would just. [ __ ] you up. And there's something. hilarious about that cop just shooting. that guy in the dick. There's a thing. about them rubber bullets. Like you're. shooting somebody, but you're not. shooting them. You're kind of half. shooting them. Yeah. Right. But it's you. are like [ __ ] you. What you want to do.

is shoot them. All right. And you're not. allowed to. It's against the law and. it's not right. So you shoot them with a. rubber bullet. And it's not right. But. you can shoot people when you really. shouldn't be shooting them with a rubber. bullet. Getting shot in the dick with a. rubber bullet could have irreparable. damages. 100%. People have lost. eyeballs, bro. 2020, this guy had to. have portions of his genital. I do have. a hard time feeling. What? Say what? Say. that again. Read it. Says there he later. had to have surgery to reattach portions. of his genitalia. Portions. What are. they serving it? How big is this guy's.

dick? What kind of a dick does this guy. have? I wish I wish my dick could be cut. up into portions. How weird is that? He. just knocked out the middle. Is it Which. one you having for breakfast? Oh man. If. he break If he broke the middle off, I'd. be like, "Could you give me a longer. middle?". Can you put a longer middle back on? a. good extension. I don't care if it's a different color. Just try to match it as best you can. All this gene editing. How far away are. away from big dicks? Oh, you think it'd. be the first thing? I think they have. been working. Depends who comes up with. the science. If the Asians come up with. the science, that's first thing. Well, they have the science with the genetic.

engineering. Oh, you're saying before. your baby's born, you'd be like, "Hey, also I want my son to have a huge. [ __ ] dick." Big dick. That's a weird. con. You go, I'm thinking monster [ __ ]. If you just let your kid have a regular. dick and all his friends have giant. dicks. That'd be a real problem. Your. kid would be so upset. You mean you. could have given me a giant dick as. well? No. I wanted people to like you. for you. I I needed money for bowling. Oh, great. I'll be upstairs jerking off. with three fingers. If anyone needs me. alone with no friends. I just remember. being like 12 being like, "When is it.

going to grow? Like, when's it going to. get big?" And it just never really did. You just kept having that conversation. with yourself. Yeah. Up and Up and Love. is a full-fledged adult that I don't. like. Now's the time. It's a sketch on. Sigura's new show. There's some That's a. funny show. [ __ ] funny show, man. The. Hitman one was hilarious. Yeah, they. were. I thought the the video game where. the uh the you play with aliens raping. humans. [Laughter]. He said it wasn't it wasn't about the. guy and it said part two was called. Evans Revenge. Oh, Jamie, speaking of.

UFOs, did you see Lou Alzando? these. photos that are supposedly of a real. alien. Oh, here we go. Bro, it's so. dumb. The photos look blurry of the. photos of the dead alien. Like, you. can't even zoom in on that. You can't. even [ __ ] focus. Look at these. Yeah, that thing. Look at that. What is that? What's that? What is that, dude? How. about better pictures? This is crazy. These are the only pictures. Is this. from the 40s? Like, what's this picture.

from? What is this? Oh, people want to believe, bro. So bad. Me, too. I'm like, maybe maybe the. bottom ones. It was funny. Somebody. asked me, you know, um Sean Donnelly and. Dan St. Germaine have a a podcast now. about alien encounters and all that kind. of stuff. And they and they both really. believe it. And they were like, "What. would it take for you to believe, Jay?". I was like, "Irefutable evidence." I. have to shake hands with an alien. The. one the one thing I've never seen, irrefutable evidence. There's a lot of. shenanigans going on this on the back of.

one of those photos. Alien. Oh. 1993. alien hybrid child uh born to a. 15-year-old girl, subject of ET genetic. experiment, under chin, neck, and upper torso view, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, that's. under chin. and then what's the other photo? It's. the same. It's just the same. It's just. one photo. Wasn't there another one? It. seems like there's two photos. That's. just this particular one. That but at.

the top. Yeah, the one on the bottom. What's that one on the bottom? The one. on the bottom seems a little like turned. to the side, right? Is that the eyeballs. supposedly? One of those What are those babies. called that are born like that? Oh, Harley Quinn babies. Yeah, it could be. anything, man. I mean, it might not even. be human. I mean, it might not even be, you know, who [ __ ] knows. Do you. think I mean like someone like Donald. Trump can hold in the information like. his daily day? You don't think? I don't. think they tell him. I don't think he. cares. Playing golf. But who can sit on. that information if you know that?

Wouldn't it be terrifying to to, you. know, it's almost that to play someone. who knows about aliens uh existing, you. think also breaks off and plays golf and. Yes. decides what they want to have for. dinner tonight? 100%. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I think uh finding out vampires. exist, it would change everything. I. think it's a fun way to have information. that you don't give to the rest of the. world. And if you're the head of a giant. defense contracting agency that's been. back engineering UFOs for the last 50. years, it' be probably pretty cool to.

know some [ __ ] that other people don't. know and not tell anybody and still go. to brunch. But how are you not so. consumed that you go, "Oh, you want to. start a new there's want to start a new. Netflix series tonight?" Like it just. seems like uh you'd be cons. It's the. same way I don't believe people have. like speaking of the dead powers or. psychic powers. I'm like you'd be you. know what I mean? It's never like oh. what is that? Tell your loved one that. you miss them terribly. Uh, they miss. you terribly. I'm actually You guys went. to McDonald's. I'll treat myself to some. MC. Like, how did your mind go anywhere. else but like I'd speak to the dead?

That would be consuming. I would never. sleep. Supernatural all day talking to. somebody about the War of 1776. You just. go nuts. It's just not real. There was a. video. Imagine you can just tune in. anytime and talk to like some Civil War. soldiers. You don't have a fa You don't. go pick out a new pair of sneakers while. that's going on. I need new sneakers. I. think you see that video where it was. like somebody, it might not even I don't. know if it's real, but she was like a. girl who has like paranoid schizophrenia. and she created like a video of what. it's like to have schizophrenia. Oh my. god. It's like these like floating like. almost like Yeah. like monsters sort of.

Yeah. But they're like translucent and. it's like all these voices whispering. It's like if that if that's how it. really is to have schizophrenia that I. mean I couldn't make it a day. Yeah. It. I think it varies like a lot of. different neurological conditions, right? I think, you know, there's. extreme versions of it and some people. have like mild schizophrenia, which is. really weird. Well, I'm I've been. impress I have someone close to me in my. life that's had mania where they go like. manic. Mhm. And I've only seen it twice.

It's Hulk Hogan. It's Hulk. I've only. seen it twice. But I mean, I'm blown. away by how much your brain can like. change functionality in a day. In a in a. day's difference being like everything's. changed. you know, they're saying things. that they've never said before and. believing it and being like, you know. what I mean? It's very strange. Well, if. you think about your body, scary. Yeah, it is scary. But if you think about your. body as a whole, things go wrong in your. body and well, things go wrong in your. brain, too. It's like, you know, you. can't blame someone for having liver. cancer, right? Sometimes people just get. weird diseases, you know, and the the.

mental thing is a weird one, man, because there there's people that it's. just like something isn't clicking. It's. just not working right, you know, and. they don't know what to do and they're. out there in the world and they're. trying a bunch of different medications. on them and they don't know what to do. So, you can't be mad at Kurt Mezer. Can't be mad at me. I couldn't imagine. This is what I always try to I always. try to think about when I'm talking to. somebody. I can't imagine what it's like. to be them. Like, what is it like? What's it like to be mess? Oh my god. What's it like to be filled with.

conspiracies just over and know so much. about like secret societies and nobody. believes you? Yeah. And nobody believes. you. And And everyone's kind of like, "Hey, man. We're just trying to smoke a. joint in the green room." Bro, he. hovers. He hovers over you like a. gargoyle. He's a goon. He's this giant. dude. And he hovers over you. Oh, you. didn't know? Oh, you didn't know? Last. time I was out in LA when he when he. still lived in LA, he came over to the. Airbnb I was at and always with Kurt, I. haven't seen Kurt always in like months. and months between when I get to see. him. He's one of my oldest closest.

friends in comedy. He's my daughter's. godfather, you know, very close to him. And then I was like, which is a crazy. choice. Yeah, it's great. That's on Jay. It was a strange choice, but he's good. godfather. He's a great guy. He's great. And uh yeah, him and my daughter have a. great relationship. It's fantastic. But. he is a whacker for sure. And he came in. to the house. I was like, "My man, it's. good to see you." And he goes, "You. know, the PD uh thing is real." And. that's why Usher that that that audio of. him [ __ ] that guy was real. And. that's and he got Usher first. That's.

why Usher, remember when Usher uh was. gone for a year because he had to get. his [ __ ] sewn back together? Like. what? What? He just rattles him off and then he'll. go to Libya. All a sudden you're talking. about Libya. Gaddafi. Remember the thing. with Gaddafi? Like I don't dude he he's. one of the people that texts like the. way he texts. It's not just like he. won't send you like one long text about. like just everything he has to say. He. has every sentence is a new sex. So. you're just getting like it just seems. manic. Just full on. This episode is. brought to you by BetterHelp. Sometimes.

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had a pool at the Airbnb we were at and. him and at one point I realized I go oh. no he's had Bobby Kelly in the corner. for a while and then Bobby Kelly Kirk. goes inside and Bobby swims over and he. goes so I guess the Jew lasers are real. Uh, he goes, "I guess Kurt told me those. jewel lasers actually are pretty real. What's going on with them?" He just. corners you. He just corners you. But I. love it. I can listen to him all day. long. He's the best podcast. The best. podcast guest. He's He's like He's just. a You just have to rein him in like Owen.

Benjamin. Like, go this. That was a fun. one. Take him this direction. Go in this. direction cuz he's just It just never. stops coming out of his mouth. He's just. He's a jokewriting machine. No, he's a. genius. I say his day-to-day personality. is genuinely I always describe Kurt he's. the first person I see that price of. genius where it's like he's so great at. being funny and his mind works such a. thing but his mind his brain when you're. not talking to him maybe even when. you're talking to him is just like it's. like a division sign.

just formulas just formulas going like. that meme. 100% that's how I feel like when I'm. talking to Elon Same thing like you can. tell there's like numbers running in his. background and [ __ ] going on he's trying. kind of figure something out while. you're talking. Yeah. I mean, he's he's. clearly on the spectrum, you know? I. mean, that's that's how you make rockets. and electric cars and also on Twitter at. the same time. Be addicted to Twitter. Like, where's your time coming from? And. you're playing Diablo. really like where is I couldn't imagine.

being that rich and ever opening. Twitter. Like, if I was that like I was. just like I'm just definitely above. tweeting. I think really rich guys. Um, one thing that happens if you're really. rich and people are stopping you from. communicating and you get pissed off and. you think, "Well, [ __ ] it. I can just. buy Twitter." Like, nobody would do that. normally. You get you need a wild person. like Elon to do that. That's a wild move. to say, "I'll just buy Twitter." And. then pay them way more than it's worth. And then everybody says you're a. terrible businessman because your.

company lost$20 billion dollar in value. in the first year. But it's like, no, it. wasn't worth 44 billion. He paid 44. billion for it because he wanted it. It. wasn't worth that. Like, how was it. worth that? And then we found out a ton. of [ __ ] man, that we wouldn't have. found out about like censorship and like. what what's directing it? Like, it's. what's keeping us at each other's. throats? You're saying almost just in. the basic level of like someone his age. like doing the same action that like a. girl flopping on her bed in her tummy.

and kicking her knees up is like doing. like like whatever. Trump's stupid. He's. on he's on the list. Yeah. I just I if I. was I just You made it. You don't need. You don't need to prove anything else. You made it. Yeah. What else you got to. prove? Let him find out in the. newspapers. Doesn't matter. It's not a. good look. I mean, if I had if I just. simply I mean, if I got a if I if I. double my net worth, I'm going to. [ __ ] I'm going to disappear from. public life altogether, much less Elon. M. That's insane. I think you're aware. when you have a lot of money of how many.

different entities are manipulating. society. I think that becomes an issue. and if you can do something about it and. you feel compelled to do something about. it, you're literally one of the only. people that can. Do you think that he. did do something about it? He definitely. did when he bought Twitter. Twitter. changed. He definitely did with Doge. just exposing some of the wild [ __ ] like. billions of dollars. It's gone to who. knows where with no receipts. And but did they even do anything about. it really or just expose it? People talk. about it for a week. They don't do.

anything about the money that's gone. I. mean, unless they can somehow or another. figure out where it was spent and. whether it was valid and hold someone. accountable, they they're not going to. do that because they want to make sure. that that doesn't happen to them and. they're just going to keep spending. insane amounts of money. I feel like. they're still spending. They they were. like, "Hey, this is happening, but it's. still going to continue to happen for. the rest of your lives." Well, here's. the thing. if the if it's been funding. the Democrat machine for this whole time. which is what guys like Mike Benz. alleged it's a little over my head to.

really explain but essentially we're. saying that the there's so many NGO you. want to know how how many NOS's there. are there is uh one NGO in India for. every 600 people I'm I don't know what. an NGO is and neither is Jay [ __ ]. idiot dude just so you know government. organization no tell him yeah sorry. non-governmental. It's just a nonprofit. So, it's a. nonprofit that's funded by the. government. It's It's real weird stuff, man. When you find out about it when. future reference, if you can make all.

your acronyms, just say the whole word. out so Lewis gets stupid idiot. I I. should assume that no one knows about. that. No, I come on. You do, but I. should assume cuz I didn't know about. until I started talking to Mike Benz. about it. I was like, wait, what? Like, how much money? And when you find out. where the money was going and what it. was doing, it's like he said it's all. for stuff that's too dirty for the CIA. I was like, "Jesus Christ." And he lays. it out like hours long presentation and. explains how it's all what's what's the. root of it all. And it's like it's. really spooky stuff cuz you you realize.

like how corrupt our society actually. truly is. Do you enjoy having the burden. of information though? No, I [ __ ]. hate it. Why? Like where does your. Bigfoot podcast? Where does your like. political give a [ __ ] stop? Really? Well, I just don't want the world to. fall apart. That's all it is. I just I'm. not politically aligned with either the. left or the right. I believe in a lot of. [ __ ] that the left believes in. Sure. And I believe in a lot of [ __ ] that the. right believes in. I just don't believe. in any of the [ __ ] that the extremists. on either side believe in. That's the. problem. Yeah. This is Yeah. When you're.

[ __ ]. attacking people at construction sites, it's like come on. Like what are you. what are we doing? Like you want. everybody out. I feel like once you get. in, let's take a test. don't think, you. know, like are are do you are you the. type of guy that shows up at work? Are. you the type of guy that uh respects. America? Do you like being here? Is it. too easy to get in though? You had a. great analogy about the movie theater. I. love my movie theater analogy is killer. It's a great analogy. I said, I've snuck.

into a movie before, sit in an empty. seat that no one's taken. It's not even. taking up any kind of space. If they. come in and go, "Hey, where's your. ticket?" I go, "I don't have one." They. go, "You have to go. You got to go, man. And I can't you can't be like, "Ah, dude, I've already watched an hour of. it. So what?" And I feel like you should. let them finish the movie. That's a good. um I'm just saying I'm not even saying. you shouldn't let I'm saying it's. discretion to let them finish the movie. or not. I'm just making the point to be. like you. Well, this movie theater was.

built on my people's land or [ __ ]. It's just to me it's just like a weird. like reaction to getting caught being. like, "Well, but I've already been. here." It's like I've gotten away with. it for so long. Yeah, it's kind you. steal someone's stuff and they find it. 20 years later, you go, "Well, it's been. mine for 20 years." But also, I I. totally agree with you and it's a funny. joke, but also if you're living in. Mexico and you're a young person and you. figure out a way to sneak across the. border, you get gainfully employed in.

the United States, you start doing well, you you're involved in a business, you. start raising a family, but there's no. real path to citizenship because you. snuck in, but you've actually become. integrated in society and you're part of. the American dream. Sure. It's just. there's no path if you're dirt poor. That's the problem. See, if you're. living in Denmark and you're white and. you got a college degree and you're. really good at genetics, you want to. come over here and work for a lab, probably not that hard. You got to jump. through hoops, though. You got to meet. with the guy every six months or. whatever it is. You got to fill out the. paperwork. But if you're walking here. from Mexico,

you know, there's no no clear path to. citizenship. You know, you got to marry. a fat white woman, find a desperado. Yeah. I mean, there's. no there's no clear path. And especially. if you're integrated into like uh I. there was a a guy that I had was my. landscaper for a long time in uh LA. He. was Danish. He w he came Dutch. He came. from Mexico. He walked across from. Mexico. It's like and he lived in these. communities like he took me to uh they.

they had chicken fights in their. communities and this dude had just. roosters stacked up everywhere. It was. like there was like a hundred roosters. in this guy's backyard. Not my. landscaper, but his friend. He took me. to his friend's place. They would. barbecue a goat and cook and there. wasn't a English-speaking sign for. blocks and I was like you should have. [ __ ] paid him more. So like my point. is I beat him well. That was not my. point. My point is like serious chicken. fights completely integrated societies. that are a part of LA that are fully.

Mexican, you know, and but it functions. It works like going in and raiding those. people and putting them in jail because. they've integrated into society in an. illegal way. It seems and then all the. people that are going it's like is my. tax dollars like guys the amount of. [ __ ] that our tax dollars goes to. that's that should be a priority over. getting a [ __ ] Mexican dad out of the. country. It's like Joe, it sounds like. you just want to keep barbecued goat in. this country. Well, here's the problem. The problem is if they're illegal,

right, which is what everybody wants to. keep it that way because what if you let. them vote and this if they're illegal, then you don't have to pay them as much. And this is where it's dark. This is the. dark secret of why people want cheap. labor in this country because there's a. lot of people that don't pay people what. they're supposed to be getting paid. It's non-union. They're illegal. Everyone knows. And they want cheap. labor. Cheap, dependable, reliable. labor. So, they let people in for that. Tim Dylan was talking to me about this a. long time ago because you know he used. to be a real estate guy like he he.

understands like the dynamics of it all. like that is a big part of what they. want why they're bringing people in but. the reality is yeah you should just pay. people more money you should make less. money you should pay them more money you. should pay them enough money so they can. live like you just to to try to have a. giant business that pays people the. least amount possible that's it's kind. of crazy that's most businesses I know. but that's kind of crazy it's kind of a. crazy thing to do very interesting My uh. my ex-wife's both her parents are. immigrants and you'd be surprised how.

not like uh sad they feel for people. being kicked out. Like they're like I. think they have a very like if like we. had to figure out how to do it legally. That's what a lot of people but that's. also how people felt like when uh people. were unvaccinated. Yeah. I had to take. the shot, you know, like why don't you. take the shot? I had to take the shot. [ __ ] I didn't have to. I sought it out. so hard. Did you? Yeah. Jay was. paranoid. certain I was dying. Yeah. A. lot of a lot of people got scared. Yeah. I I took it. You scared the [ __ ] out of. us. I took it and then I faked the.

second one, the booster, cuz I realized. that there's no way to these there. It's. a piece of paper. It's a card with like. some random name on it. Like it was like. I was like, there's no way they're. actually tracking this. My daughter made. one on her phone to go into a cheesecake. factory. It's pretty impressive. They're going to absolve you of that. crime. It'll be in the future. It's be. like when they uh all the people that. dodged the draft. Yeah. They they. exonerated. Wait, did I just admit to a. crime on this podcast? It was a crime. They were they were saying they were. going to prosecute people. I remember. saying that there was people that were.

saying if you try to use a fake. vaccination card, we're going to. prosecute you. Like Yeah, but that's. like saying they're going to put you in. jail for not going to jury duty. That. doesn't actually happen. Yeah, but. that's way crazier than that because. that's like this whole thing is nuts. Like you're telling people they have to. do this to get on an airplane. It. doesn't even work. Have you ever had the. tie wraps at Cheesecake Factory? I'll. risk it. Do do they come to you for Have you ever. done jury duty? I haven't done it. No. Like that's If Joe Rogan showed up to do. jury duty, it'd be wild. Are you.

familiar with this case? I'm familiar. with everything. I I'm a little familiar with everything. Mildly. Yeah. I think I uh interview the. defendant and the plaintiff. I've never. done jury duty either. I' I haven't. gotten a notification in years and years. and years, but I just ignore them back. just ded one recently pretty hard. You. You just flat out moved. Tim Dylan was. just talking about it on um the spicy. wings show. What? Hotes. Tim was talking. about how he did dur for a murder trial.

Really? Yeah. The guy was a [ __ ]. murderer. See, he did it recently. Yeah, he was talking about it recently. The. guy It was a long time ago, but uh he he. was uh did jury duty and he was like. joking around with the defendant. If I. was guaranteed that, I'd go uh show up. It's just what you're gonna get is like. a tax something or a business uh. argument, right? Or some kind of [ __ ]. and that's boring as hell. You have to. pretend to be racist to get out of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to. schizophrenia. I hate uh what's the last.

name of the one guy? Watkins. I hate black people. Jeremiah Watkins. I'm a little too. opinionated. to be Yeah. I mean, that's what I'd say. I'm a little too opinionated. The only. time I ever showed the only time ever I. showed up I wore I was wearing jean. shorts and they said you can't wear. shorts to and I go what do I do? They go. back you'll go back into the pool and. just go home and they sent me home. They. sent him into a pool cuz he's wearing. shorts. Yeah, nice shorts idiot. Get in. the pool. You can't offend people with. your wardrobe at this place of the law.

I guess so. How when did they stop. wearing the wigs and the [ __ ] crazy. like you know did they do it here? Do. they still wear those? I think so. They. don't wear the wigs anymore, right? We. first came from uh. Oh, like Pilgrim Court. [Music]. Okay. How stupid is it that everybody. had wigs on? They still have it in. England to this day. The judges still. wear it. It's crazy. And Jewish women, religious Jewish women. You know where. and any black woman came from? Syphilis,

the wigs. Yeah. Yeah. How so? All the. the people This is what this is a So. this the story is a little complicated. This may or may not have been exactly. how it happened, but it seems like when. explorers came to North America, they. contracted syphilis from the natives and. then brought it back to Europe. And then. a lot of people were getting syphilis. These people were freaks. They're all. [ __ ] each other. And they were losing. their hair and getting big holes in. their face and [ __ ] Like syphilis is.

crazy. Like rots your head away. And so. they started wearing wigs because they. had like big scabby holes in their head. Like literally, it's horrific [ __ ] And. the more wealthy you were, the bigger. the wig. So that was like big wigs. That's what the term big wigs come from. It comes from these these freaks that. all had syphilis that were all banging. each other. If you have money, you're. [ __ ] just getting [ __ ] left and. right. So So there was these two um two. guys that were royals and they started. it all. They started wearing the wigs. when they got syphilis. Wow. That's.

crazy. Nuts. So it all dials back. It's. still It's not the white man's fault. these dirty ass Indians. It has to be. dirty Indian [ __ ] It has to be why. they wear wigs in court. It has to be. right. Like it has to be like a proper. thing like wearing a tie or something. like a gentleman wears a wig. I should. start wearing a wig. How fun would that. be? A powdered wig. I thought about. getting a a toupe recently just to be. funny and just show up with like a. really high quality toupe. Jamar does. that. Yeah, I know. He wears a mohawk to.

his head. You should get a hair system, not a toupe. No, dude. I'm not going to. another country to get my [ __ ] ass. hairs implanted. Not an implant, just a. system. It's like a different It's like. more permanent toupe. It really looks. Dude, I saw a video today where this. doctor was talking and a doctor that I. know was talking, Gar Fischer is his. name. He was talking about his clients. that went down to Turkey to get a. gastric bypass operation. And then a. couple months later, they're like, "My.

stomach's bothering me." And the. doctor's like, "Oh, let's check out. what's going on with your stomach." how. long have you only had one kidney? And. she's like, I have two kidneys. He goes, no, you have one kidney. And then. contacts the other two girls that were. on the trip. They all come in to get. examined. They're all missing a kidney. as well. So, they went down to Turkey to. get a bypass, a gastric bypass, and they. stole their [ __ ] kidneys. Brilliant. Yo, not bad, bro. Imagine out there. stealing body parts. You only have one. kidney. That's crazy.

I mean, guess it's better. At least you. did. They also get the gastric bypass. though. They did, but I think they paid. for it, you know. Wow. What if it cost a. kidney to get gastric bypass? There's. fat people that would do that, right? What if they didn't read the fine print? Yeah. And it just cost you this. Here's. why it's so cheap. We need a kidney. It's free. If you have a How much is a. kidney on the black market worth? That's. a good question, Jamie. Don't Google that. We'll off the off the. dome. Yeah. Where does your uh Let's. guess. Where does your circle How big is. your circle of give a kidney if they.

need? Oh, it's very small. Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna have to figure that out. Is. it? I'm not giving up kidneys. Just like. uh what happens if you already kidney? Uh not good. What I mean like not as. good as two. That's why you have two. Hello science. Catch up. [ __ ]. stealing people's kidneys. You can live. with one kidney, but how much does it. affect your like dayto-day? Can you. exercise still? Can you I I don't know. A very good question. I think you could. live life relatively normal cuz people. do it for loved ones. It's interesting.

that people get kicked in the kidneys. all the time, but you don't really hear. about too many like severe kidney. injuries, you know? Like you hear about. liver injuries, like you hear about. internal bleeding from guys from body. shots. Don't hear too much about kidney. injuries, dude. Getting punched in the. [ __ ] liver. It's the most painful. thing weird on the planet, dude. It's a. weird feeling. It's crazy. It'll It just. shuts your body down. You roll around on. the floor and start crying. I think I. think Mickey Gaul told me his Mickey G. kicked me in my kidney. He said he said.

Diego. Yeah. So I I sparred with Mickey. G once and I spar with Michael Bispin. once and both of them put me down with. liver shot no I'm sorry liver shots not. kidney liver shots like but they they. called it is this how good fighters are. like this is like hey watch this bang. and they just put me down I mean. literally the whole gym of people. cackling laughing at me as I roll around. on the floor is a man it's [ __ ]. pathetic. Have you seen Ilia Tapora do. that to people? He does it to fans. He. hits him with a liver shot. They ask. him. So he's livershotting bare knuckle.

Ilia bare knuckle livershotting people. You would I'd rather be punched in the. face 10 out of 10 times. But Mickey said. when he lost to Diego Sanchez, it was. cuz his kidney started shutting off. That's why he bit him in the face. I bet. that is a weight loss. He said no, but. he said it's from weight loss. Yeah, that's a brutal thing that they do, man. Like Kayla Harrison who just won the. bantamweight title, bro. Oh, that. picture of her weighing. She's so big. She's so jacked and that her getting. down to 135. I don't know how much. weight she's losing. I don't really want. to ask, but I do. You know, you're not. supposed to ask ladies what they weigh,

right? But she was competing in. professional fighting. Yeah. And when. she was over at the PFL, she was. fighting at 155. Really? Her picture her. picture of her at the the actual. weigh-in was like scary. Yeah. It's kind. of [ __ ] up. It was like a thumbnail. from like crack confessions like See, this is the problem. the UFC had a 145. pound division and Amanda Nunez was the. champion of it. Like for the health of. both fighters, like that would be a good. way. I mean, it really depends on if. Kayla Harrison can continue to make 135.

and defend the title cuz I don't know. who's going to beat her. She's too. [ __ ] strong. She's so strong. That. happens a lot with like the checks. There's like a real dominant check for a. while. With Amanda, it was KO power. Amanda was one of the rare women that. she could just touch you and just blast. you out of orbit. You know, it's usually. with women it's like a combination. punches. Like Amanda had extraordinary. power. Like when she knocked out Cyborg, that was wild, dude. That was [ __ ] She. just folded Cyborg. I'm like, that lady. can crack. What was the Was it Silva?

This last weekend there was a knockout. The guy was asleep standing. And it was. the most softest looking turnover. Yes. Turn over like chin punch. The Korean. dude. Yeah. Young like 23 years old. It. was like he Joe Sang Yu. He moved and. just like it was the smallest little. like he didn't pull it from the shoulder. or nothing. One of the best left hooks. of all time. The guy was asleep before. he hit the ground. One of the best left. hooks of all time. It was literally like. this. Bam. Like he just turned it over. And he's a kid, right? Yeah, he's young. No, he's not that young. No, no, no. Here it is. Boom. Look at that. I think.

he's 28. That's a lot of his momentum. coming in, too. It's like the perfect. place timing for sure. But he's also a. really good boxer. You get knocked out. and then some dudes doing back flips in. the ring. That's the worst feeler in the. world. I don't, by the way, I don't know. how I would I'm not a good enough sport. for if I was knocked out and they come. over and start doing that thing where. they're touching my face a lot and be. like, "Thank you for the opportunity.". Get the [ __ ] away from me, [ __ ] A. lot of people do. You [ __ ] jerk off. I don't want to talk to you. He goes, "Hey, will you pray with me?" No. Will. you pray with me? To who? A god that. hates my guts.

[Laughter]. [ __ ] That's so funny. I've been praying. to God this whole training camp. I just. got. God just gave me a concussion. Thanks, God. That's hilarious. I guess. God was training wrong. This lady's got. a problem because if she, you know, other than the Amanda Nunes fight, who. well, who's going to pay to watch her. just steamroll somebody, you know, like. every if she can continue to make 135, if she becomes a marathon runner or.

something and drops even more muscle. mass and can make 135, who the [ __ ] is. going to be able to deal with that? Almost like Mike Tyson back in the day. became a thing where they started like. offering you money back on the. pay-per-views if he if he didn't last at. least two rounds. Yeah, that was the. whole thing. It was like cuz he was. knocking people out so fast. It was. like, you know, I'm not paying for this. This is Everybody would look at a. pay-per-view based on how long you. thought the fight would last. Like $60, man. Yeah, it wasn't that much back. then. But but I remember people being. bummed out. It was like a 30 second.

knockout. But it was also fun to like it. was almost like Mike Tyson his thing was. he was so vicious and badass. That was. kind of fun to watch somebody that. dominant, you know. Yeah. But also the. crazy I think with the UFC people like. they want to they want the back and. forth. They want five crazy fights. They. want to like you feel like you're. getting your money's worth. I remember. after Tyson Holyfield the ear thing. Mhm. I ordered that pay-per-view and I. was driving around that night afterwards. listening to the radio and people were. like like tons of complaining on sports. radio. I'm like, you just watched a guy.

bite a another man's ear off. Like, if. they would have sold it that way before. $50 just for that. Yeah. Before the. fight, if they were like, "Watch a man. eat another man's ear. Like, I'll pay. anything you want." Didn't he bite him. twice? Yeah. He didn't get it off the. first time, though. Was for that fight. Dude, the fact that Mike Tyson has uh 50. bucks back then, has edibles that are. earshaped is one of the funniest [ __ ]. things on earth. The fact that they're. friends now. Evander Mike is Evander. Holy has no idea what's going on. He. doesn't. He'd be friends with anybody. He is gone. Ski a Vander Holyfield. Is.

he? Oh, he he was on my podcast a few. years back. He was really Yeah. back in. LA. No, man. He was like super coherent. back in LA. Damn. I mean, that was Few. years ago. Seven years ago, maybe. How. long ago was Evander on the show? Yeah. Did he fight VTO? Is that who fought. Vtor? Yeah, that was unfortunate. I. don't think he had a real camp for that. fight either. Yeah. Yeah, I think that. was a lastm minute replacement cuz uh. VTO was supposed to fight somebody else, right? Yeah. Very few athletes will ever.

I think at this point I know there's. bigger contracts now 2019 so six years. ago but very few athletes will ever. understand the idea of that like what. those guys lives were like even like. Riddic Bow like Rick B was champion for. like two fights I mean you know what I. mean he's awesome but he didn't have a. long run or anything and then you see. his thing it's like 14 acres with white. tigers everywhere and all his clothes. are silk like they're immediately like. they were just getting handed $50.

million a night in one night. I know. it's like you train for that night, but. that's a crazy amount of like no. athletes get that. Yeah. Well, like. anymore. Nothing like that. There's a. few. Canelo does. Does he? Yeah. Canelo. has a giant deal with this. Oh, but I. mean maybe even boxing still has that. with the pay-per-view like taken. I just. mean some of these boxers you're making. pretty [ __ ] nuts in my head. But that. sport's the only sport that's I mean UFC. has never paid like that, has it? Um, I. don't know what the most amount anyone's. been paid in the UFC for a fight. If I.

had to guess, it's got to be Connor. Yeah, without a doubt. Yeah. Um, I know. Connor has made more than $100 million. in the UFC, I believe. Yeah. See if. that's a fact. Is that going all. I shouldn't say that because I don't. really know. I just read some article. that tried to break down how much he. made for each pay-per-view and how much. he made um at the beginning of his. career, you know, like when he first. burst onto the scene. Yeah. It's uh I. got two numbers in the first results. that says 39.3 and then down here says.

100 108. Yeah, it might include box. Yeah. So, there's like the pay-per-view. bonuses versus like fight pay. So, what. I was going to say is I thought he made. $100 million from the Floyd fight. So, it can't be that. 30 million from that. So, 30 million. Oh, it says 30 million. from the boxing match in Floyd. I. thought it was a hundred million. And. his biggest payout was against Kabib for. 285 almost. Yeah, he's um so 28 million. he's probably made the most. But his. like he wasn't getting that was all a.

pay-per-view bonus. That was a huge. pay-per-view. Mhm. Um Right. But but he. did get paid. I mean that but that's the. only way they get paid anyway. Yeah, of. course. I mean the pay-per-view bonus. thing is great because it forces him to. promote, but. I don't mind a silent killer. I don't. mind an Alex Pereira. I don't want to. see him promoted. He don't have to. promote. That do promotes when he puts. people into orbit, you know? Just let. him train. Let him shoot a [ __ ] bow. and arrow at a soccer ball. Let let him. train. Like, don't [ __ ] pawn that guy.

out and have him do media everywhere. Like, get leave his energy alone. Like, you guys can do enough with promotion. from his highlight reel. With a guy like. Connor though, that [ __ ] guy like if. he can get on the radio, if he can get. on a talk show, if he can start talking. [ __ ] he'll the the number Dana sees. dollar bills like [ __ ] Scrooge. McDuck. He's like start throwing gold coins in. the air. Connor was the best at it. What. about the a couple weeks ago, Aaron. Blanchfield versus uh what was the girl. she was fighting? They they cancelled.

it. They canceled it as it was starting. They already did the package for the. main event and then they found out that. Macy Barber had like passed out. She had. a um a seizure backstage. I don't want. to speak out of turn. So, it's some sort. of medical condition and she was in. trouble and so they sent her to hospital. to get checked out. Yeah. I mean, they. they literally said, "All right, now. it's time for the main event." And then. they were like, "Well, never mind. We're. not doing it." Yeah. I don't again I. don't want to speak out of turn, but I. think she might have had some health. concerns. She's had a bunch of health. concerns over the last couple of years, I think. So, and then she missed weight,

which is never a good sign. You know, when they miss weight, usually. something's off. Yeah. A lot of times. they're injured or sick or something. But whatever it was, sucks for That. sucks for Blanchfield. Dude, you just. She's actually from my hometown, Jersey. Oh, she's a beast, dude. Yeah, she's a. monster. very good. Very young, too. Were you going to send him up, say. something shitty about her, and then be. like, I know her. Actually, really a. dumb [ __ ] Oh, I grew up with her. What. an ass. I was uh with uh Dave. Porterfield, you know, he's a big fan of. Meatball Molly McCann, who's great, too.

But he's like, uh I'm betting on Molly. And I go, yeah. And he's like, you. think? I go, dude. Like, Erin. Blanchfield is the truth. Like, she's a. [ __ ] problem. She's a problem. She. gets a hold of Molly and she just. ragdalled her. If you were going to Pete. Rose your own sport, how do you you. think you would hit good? Oh, I used to. bet on it. Yeah, but I can't affect the. outcome. So, I used in the early days of. the UFC when they first started having. lines in sports books, I would bet cuz I. would see like you'd see [ __ ] like. Anderson Silva, it's like if this isn't.

an 800 to one Anderson Silva versus. Travis Lutter like okay. Uh-uh. That was. that was different. Okay. Travis Lutter. lost that fight in my opinion because he. cut too much weight. You think he won. the fight? He was he had him mounted. early in the fight. Let me tell you. something. Travis Lutter's Brazilian. jiu-jitsu was [ __ ] elite. All the. guys that I know that train with him. like go, "Dude, he's like Ricardo. Laborio level." Like he's special. Like. he he did the Ultimate Fighter and.

everybody was terrified. They're like, "That [ __ ] gets you on the. ground, you're in trouble. He's just a. machine in jiu-jitsu." So, I saw him cut. weight and he looked so bad. His lips. were cracked. Wow. His face was sucked. in and he was shuffling to the scale and. he still didn't make weight. He never. made weight. Oh, is that what happened? It wasn't a title fight. That's right. He wouldn't have won the title if he. won. That was crazy. They used to give. the winner of the Ultimate Fighter a. title shot like back in the day. That. was like a crazy like just sort of like. prize. Like it's just changed. just.

turned into such more of a legitimate. sport now that you can't just give like. the winner of a reality show a title. fight. America's Got Talent used to give. a million dollar prize and then one day. they just change like you just be part. of an America's Got Talent show in. Vegas. Did they always give you a title. fight? Is that I think the first few. seasons. Yeah. I think Travis had had a. few fights in the UFC before that. Dude, that was uh long after the Ultimate. Fighter. I'm about 90% sure cuz I know. he knocked out Marvin Eastman. I. remember that fight and you know he he.

fought quite a few dudes but the the. main theme was when Travis got a hold of. you you were [ __ ] and he got a hold of. Anderson and Anderson looked [ __ ] It. was early in the fight but then he got. Anderson got him in a triangle. He just. tired out and Anderson was blasting him. When he first came in it was crazy. If. you saw that guy the day before you. would go, "Oh my god, how is this guy. even alive? He should be taken to a. hospital. He looks so bad." I've seen a. lot of people weigh in looking really. bad but Travis was the worst. So, look at this. He's mounted on top of. Anderson early in the fight, dude. I.

skipped ahead. He had him he was mounted. for like two and a half minutes. Yeah. I. mean, but he just gassed out, man. I. mean, he just had nothing left. He lost. too much weight, man. And so then Anderson got him in a. triangle and started [ __ ] him up with. elbows. So, they came a point in time. where you could see him visibly fading, you know? Yeah. I think if Look at that. mount, bro. Look how slick that is. I. mean, this dude is so slick. Travis was. so dangerous, man. He could have.

possibly submitted him, but he was just. too big for the weight class. He. shouldn't have been making that weight. So, that's that's my point. It's like, yeah, he was a live dog in this fight is. my point. Yeah, he was tired there. That. wasn't even really an escape that. Anderson did. He lost way too much. weight, dude. He was dead the day. before. I mean, dead when I saw him. Dead. He looked like he might die. Have. you ever gotten talk to a fighter about. the psychology of like once you lose. like when you're just like this dominant. force and once you lose like your whole. thing change like Roy Jones Jr. was.

overnight overnight they said that one. guy called him out said he was ducking. Tarver Tarver said he was ducking him. then Antonio Tarver beat him then Glenn. Johnson just beat him knocked him. through the ropes. It was just like it. became like you can just beat him but. Glenn Johnson knocked him out where it. was one of those scary ones where your. arms are stiff. Yeah. And uh it didn't. seem like he hit him that hard either. That was It seemed like it couldn't be. real that it was happening. It was like. that two fights before that was the. fight was the fight I believe where he. he's hitting the guy and he tells the. ref he's like stop the fight and then. the ref didn't and he hit him a few more. times. Yeah. Then he passed the end.

Like that was like uh two fights before. it was just all over. Yeah. But you know. what happened? Roy went up to. heavyweight and he fought John Ruiz and. then he dropped back down to light. heavyweight and that's a real problem. there. He's like he got knocked out. So. it's like. he's stiff dude. Like when you get. knocked down and you're just like stiff. here. GH Anderson Silva like that's so. awful. Wasn't it pretty much Anderson. after the leg went in the fight? Like it. was just like he never really c he won. fights since but he never really. captured back like we're just going to.

watch him. We went first UFC we ever. went to was 101 in Philly. The first one. Forest Griffin a racist ass Philly. that night for us in general was just a. a hilarious thing. We went with it was. me, Dave, and Lewis. All three of us. Uh, the first White Boy weekend. First. White Boy weekend. We went to like a. Ozfest or Mayhem Fest. and then UFC. Uh, Lewis and Dave brought. their friend who I was not getting along. with and a girl who shout out Krypto.

Krypto West. We used to um Lewis used to. date a girl who became friends with the. group sort of and she came with us also. And she was a we'll say she's a she's a. chunkier girl. This is back. Look, this. is back in the day when I was younger. It's like if you become friends with a. girl, like you can't separate. friendship. No one's going to see her. You don't have to over explain that you. [ __ ] the girl that wasn't. No, she was. really hot. I mean, she was It's okay. Look, you know what? I'm saying now I. wouldn't have dated her, but uh yeah, she was a little bit of a chunkier girl.

And uh whatever it was that we were just. we were just talking [ __ ] like you know, watching the fights, everyone's just. being animals. We ended up getting to a. thing with these guys in front of us. Like it was like it was maybe four four. of us and I want to say maybe three of. them. We might have outnumbered them. No, I don't think so. At first it was. just there was like one or two guys just. there. The other guys were gone. Yeah, we such a coyote trap. You show you one. coyote, the rest of them surround you. And we we started talking [ __ ] with. these guys. It just turned into like a. you know I don't think we I mean we. shouldn't make this up. We're not.

looking none of us are looking for. trouble guys. The guys were I think we. were talking and saying [ __ ] like being. funny and I think they kind of were. giving us like a bunch of you guys shut. the [ __ ] up kind of thing. You know what. I mean? Like we're being [ __ ]. comedians and they're like really. serious about watching an MMA fight. right now. First one ever in. Philadelphia. They turn around, they. start talking [ __ ] So then I we start. talking [ __ ] to them. We kind of chump. the two guys and then their group of. friends show up and they get wind that. they just got chumped by these [ __ ]. loser comedians. They left the nerds. behind and they went and got merch. Oh.

boy. So then these guys, you make the. nerds get merged. We see what we're. working with. It became a whole. argument. These guys started talking. [ __ ] to us. And by the way, we were. above them. We could have [ __ ] We. should have just Oh, higher ground. We. should have just dominated these guys. But whatever had happened, we just. didn't want to fight and get kicked out. We're not like tough guys like that. So. they start talking [ __ ] And then this. is like it's such fight. It's almost. like when somebody spits on you. One of. the guys goes, it was like, "Yo, [ __ ]. you." And [ __ ] your fat [ __ ] too, about the girl that I was seeing. And we. all just acted like we didn't hear it. Everyone didn't hear it. We just.

commutely agreed without even looking at. each other. We were like, "Oh, these. guys." Huh? She sat there the rest of night. I can't. believe these guys were ready to fight. for everything except me. When that was. the final goes, oh well, you should. stick up for yourself, lady. And then we. just sat there. She's a big girl. She. could have helped. Then we went outside. and pretended like we were waiting to. find them as in a sea of 18,000 people. being suck boy. God, we did look like. jerkoffs there. Uh um but then that was. so funny cuz it was Philly which. historically hilariously racist city and.

which fight was that? It was Forest. Griffin Anderson. Oh that one was crazy. Forest Griffin I mean the the applause. he got when he came out the ovation he. got they couldn't wait. They loved him. and they they literally booed Anderson. Silva and then Anderson Silva handled. that hilariously and quick. Yeah. And uh. and then when they Far Griffin left. immediately. He didn't stay. He ran. right out of the ring which was a thing. and then uh they you know they announced. the thing goes your winner and still. Anderson Silva and the place booed. It.

was such a sweet moment because Anderson. Silva seems like his personality is. good. It seems like and uh and they were. like booing and they had him on the big. screen and Silva goes like he almost had. like a really like and he's like holding. the belt and they're like yeah right you. son of a [ __ ] that was amazing and they. cheered for him. Come on man. Strange, but we saw we saw like an 18y old or. 19-y old Jon Jones just walking around. the arena that night and I didn't know. uh I got into UFC way early. Me and my. stepup used to get like, you know, Ninja. versus Sumo Wrestler. Oh, wow. UFC. And.

then when it got like uh rules and. everyone was kind of like, you know, trying to start doing like actual MMA, uh I lost track of it. And Lewis and. Dave were super into it. So, you guys. walk around. It's funny when the rules. came, you checked out. Checked out. Um, me and Dave, we became we became. friends. We were roommates in Brooklyn. We would go to the Blockbuster, rent the. old UFC's. It was like Ultimate. Knockouts, Ultimate Submissions. They. had like a series of videos and uh, who. was it? Mark Layman. He would teach you. how to do moves like in the uh, there. was like a segment where it's like, "Hey.

kids at home, here's how you do a. [ __ ] bar." So, me and Dave literally. living in the shittiest, dirtiest. apartment with like garbage everywhere. and beer bottles everywhere. We would. have grappling matches with our buddy. Wes. My cauliflower ear didn't come from. jiu-jitsu. This is from Dave Smith. He. would Dude, he would literally open hand. smack. We had open hand smacking rules. and he would open hand smack me in the. ear. Political punt. Maybe the best. political pundit alive. How weird is. that? I'm going to assassinate him. Dave. was a pthead wigger who was grappling. amongst garbage with me. So that's how.

he started on my couch for a couple. years. Do you guys ever imagine he was. going to be that good at like political. commentary? I you know what? I shouldn't. say no. I didn't know he was going to go. to be that kind of big in it. Uh the. fact that he is great at it doesn't. surprise me at all. But it's his recall. is nuts. It's interesting how like uh. because I said this was just a guy at a. time. I said we smoked pot. We. essentially raised my daughter like a. gay couple during the day. Then my. ex-wife would come home and then we head. into the city and meet up with Louiswis. How many times did your ex-wife accuse. you of doing gay [ __ ] with Dave?

Several. You know what's funny? before. one of the reasons I was able to give. while I was leaving when I left was uh I. went in her thing to see if she was I. was like I should see if she's cheating. also. and I went through her computer and it. was nothing about her cheating at all. It was several times looking up what to. do when you find out your husband is. gay. I was like, "What? What?" Imagine being. a woman married to a guy and thinking. he's secretly sneaking away in soccer.

and [ __ ] That's a video that just went. viral recently. The girl like caught her. her boyfriend or husband. They look. staged. I saw that. You saw You think it. was staged? I don't think so, dude. I. don't think she's that good of an. actress. I think a lot of these are. staged. They might be. I mean, I think a. lot of them are staged. She was losing. her mind. Like, you're [ __ ] that guy. You're [ __ ] him, Chris. Really? Cheaters getting caught by their. significant others, though. As much as. I've felt that pain, I love those. videos. That's a rabbit too. Remember. the show Cheaters and the guy stabbed on. a boat. All fake. All fake. All fake. I. believe it. I've talked to so many.

people who've worked at Cheaters before. and stuff and recently I wanted to be. the host. They brought Peter Guns from. Lord Tariq and Peter Guns Uptown Baby. Remember that song? Yeah. Uh he became. the newest host. Before him it was uh. Gary or uh Clark Gable. the third. It was like Clark Gable's. grandson. Seriously, it was like Clark Ael thei or. something. Uh, hosted. He died from a. drug overdose. The original guy who. hosted it was a guy named Tommy Habib.

He was pretty great at it. Then the. little guy got stabbed. Fake. Completely. fake. Do you remember Morton Downey Jr.? Of course. He was the best. Mouth. He. was the best. Yeah. He would just smoke. on the show and just yell at people. He's like, "All right, so you're a Nazi. Here's the Jewish Defamation League. Let's bring him out to fight." This is. what's crazy. There was a guy who used. to work as a doorman at one of the. comedy clubs, like a wannabe comedian, and he would also get jobs on these. reality shows. And the way it would. work, they'd call him up. Hey, we're. looking for someone whose brother had an.

affair with his wife and he just found. out. He goes, "What a coincidence. My. brother just had like that would be the. thing." They go, "Great. Come on in. We're looking for a guy who came back. from Vietnam, very disillusioned, you. know, whatever the [ __ ] it is." They. would he would just say they would just. say that to him and he go, "Great." And. they knew it was [ __ ] and he would. just show up and act it. They would just. give him a r. So you came back from. Vietnam and what did you discover there? And he would just start talking. Well, when it's real, it goes bad. They had. the one thing where the the guy Jenny.

Jones that ruined her [ __ ] career. completely. The guy guy was in love with. Yeah. They were like they were like, "Hey, I'll do the show, but it's not. going to be a guy, right, who's like. into me." And they were like, "No, no, no." And then it was it was this now. he's friends with two people. a big fat. girl and a gay guy. And the big fat girl. was sitting out there and he was like, "Oh [ __ ] okay." And they go, "No, no, it's not her." And they bring out the. guy and he says, he goes, "Oh, you lied. to me." And his face is real like.

embarrassed. And he killed the gay guy. later. And that ruined Jenny Jones. career completely. Yeah. You know, Jenny. Jones was a comic and she used to do. like all girls night. So at the club, like you couldn't even be in the club. So they would do like a show where it. would be all girl weight staff, all girl. everything. All girl audience. The least. funny show ever. The service is slow. The math is wrong. And then she clean as [ __ ] No security.

Latina gang fights in every bathroom. I think it was just a regular club. It's. just they just only got female staff to. run everything. That's great. You. sometimes see there was like an all. female comedy festival. Imagine if you. try to do an allmale comedy festival. It'd be hilarious. We have it skank. fest. Be a good festival. Have you seen. that? You girls show up. Did you ever. see that there's like I forget there's. some shift in some town where their brag. is like and this shift is all 100%. female police officers. Like, well, now.

we know the time and place, dude. Let's. lose. Yeah. Take over this [ __ ] city, dude. They'll do that with on a flight. I wasn't on it, but I've seen it where. it's like, "Just so you know, today all. of the flight attendants and our captain. and co- captain are female." You're. like, "What? Let me off this [ __ ]. flight right now." Wasn't that the case. in Toronto where the plane flipped. upside down? I think that that's the. movie Flight with Denzel Washington. No, no, no. They woke you up like, "Hey, do. you know how to She came in hot. She. came in hot on the landing and flipped.

the plane." Oh, yeah. When it landed. upside down, I did. Yeah. Yeah, bro. Yeah. Yeah. I think that was one of them. deals. If I get a female Uber driver, I. rebook my Uber. Oh my god. They drive so. slow and by like the the laws. in Whimo. I did. I've been in Whimo. twice cuz I Yeah, dude. An Asian woman. driver is the worst. There's a lot of. that in New York City sometimes. It's. crazy. And they are slow and they do not. change lanes and it is brutal to sit. there in the back and not yell. I know. And then they're going exactly the speed.

limits. You can't complain. Yeah. Like. please break the law. This is crazy. That guy who's one of the producers of. Top Gear in the UK, he got his license. revoked cuz he went 24 miles an hour in. a 20 m an hour zone. They took his. license away for 6 months. Weird. How rough is England? That town. needs a Mexican uprising. It sounds like. Sounds like they did an English. uprising. 20 is 20. I was just driving. from Manchester to London. When you get. into London, the speed limit is 20 miles.

an hour. That is so crazy. It's insane. How many kilometers is that? I don't. know. But because the my driver uh had. it was in miles per hour, like his uh. speedometer and it was 20 miles an hour. he was going and it just feels like. you're in slow motion. It's insane. Well, do they why do they always use. miles per hour? I think they use. kilometers, right? No, I think they uses. kilome. I thought they use kilometers, but this car, this car specifically had. miles per hour on the speedometer. Oh, like that. But you were on the wrong. side of the road. Yeah. Is that weird? I.

a bad driver on the right side of the. road. Well, I wasn't driving. I did. drive in Jamaica. So, cuz I was an. English-owned uh country territory, so. uh they're on the opposite side as well. And I rented mopeds when I was in. Jamaica. And you get used to it very. quickly. Like you think it's going to. really turn you around, but like. whatever it is, your mind just flips it. And now as soon as I drive into Canada, right away we've been in Canada signs. I'm like, "Oh no. Oh no. Here we go. We. got to go east." Yeah. O Nord. How many.

different countries use inches and miles. an hour? Doesn't everybody use. kilometers now? Doesn't everybody use. the metric? I still think they're wrong. That's crazy. They tried it on us when I. was in high school. Really? Yeah. They. tried to re They tried to introduce the. metric system as if this is going to be. the thing that we all accept and. everybody's like, "Nah." Yeah. Can't. equate it. Not in this country, [ __ ] I. don't follow the Dewey decimal system. either. Nope. Suck my dick, old people. Whoa. [ __ ] your kilograms. Yeah, it's a weird thing that one.

country just says, "Nah, we can't learn. it. [ __ ] that." I mean, how many. countries have it? How many countries. have inches? I think it's maybe England. It says uh the UK, USA, and Canada keep. miles per hour. Oh, so is that what is. England has miles per hour? Oh, no. They. have it like it's it's double, but it's. their main thing is definitely. kilometers for sure. Yeah. Everything. else it's uh everything else is. kilometers. So it's like six countries. that have um kilometer or miles per. hour. Well, or inches.

This is weird that we didn't I I still. don't know. I feel like I feel like dick. is inches in every You think so? Place. my dick is 36 decimeters. 26,000 kilometers. Do you know guys not good? Do you guys. have a vast majority countries use. kilometers per hour? Um 9% of the world. uses miles per hour. US being the. notable example. Interesting. So it's. all the UK. I wasn't wrong. When I was. in uh England for the fights, they.

measure people in stone. So they say 10. stone and then I have no idea what that. means. I think it's 230 lbs. I think. it's Is it 13 pounds each stone? It's a. weird old timey [ __ ] measure, but you. have to say it. stones, I think. So, 14 lb. 14 lbs. So, that would be 240 lbs. 10 stone. I think. it was actually like like a [ __ ]. scale, just a scale with like a person. on one side and stones on the other. I. think it's what it comes from. I do like. England though. It's shitty food, but.

it's still just a cool like London. You. like being the only circumcised person. in a room, you piece of [ __ ] So, no. 10. stones 140 lbs, right? You said you said. it's 14 pounds per. Yeah. Okay. 20. stones be 240 lbs. So then you'd have to. say the the like eight like five stone. nine ounces then say the [ __ ] pounds. afterwards. It was it's weird. Like why. talking about weird things to keep. holding on to? Stone. That's a strange. one. Do you go and see the places? Any. of those weird destinations for UFC? I. definitely have. Yeah. Yeah. London's.

cool. It's interesting. You go into a. bar that's a 500y old place. It's weird. Like there's some old [ __ ] in that town. Oh yeah. you know, and you see how New. York was like designed after it so much. Yeah. Yeah. London's a cool town. I like. I like honestly if I like cities that. remind me of New York. So like I love. Rome. Rome's like the OG New York. It's. [ __ ] really cool. Um how so? I don't. think you're wrong. I've never been. How's it like New York? It's just It. feels like cuz back in the day it was.

like the most pope you [ __ ] It's. like the hub. It's like very fast. moving. Yeah. They were they were more. advanced than everyone. They were just. like, you know, architecturally, technologically, they they were way. ahead of their time with everything. That St. Peter's Basilica is bananas. I. I think about that all the time. I think. about it all the time. Like the amount. of work involved in making something. that spectacular. The Systeine Chapel is. [ __ ] nuts, dude. Michelangelo went. blind painting it. Yeah. Like he was on. scaffolding and like paint was just. dripping into his eye and sort of going.

mad and [ __ ] Oh god, it's so cool. And the details and he wasn't even a. painter, which is the craziest thing. He. wasn't like he wasn't that wasn't by. trade what he did. He was just a genius. and could like emulate like that crazy. ass art. He could do anything. His. sculptures were insane. Yeah. The. [ __ ] art in the Vatican too is nuts. When you're walking through the place. like how much money is all this worth? Like this is crazy. It's the biggest art. museum in the world. And I'm going. again. I brought my son a few years ago. on a father-son trip. And he I mean he. was he was 8 years old. We we did a.

4-hour tour. We could have done an. 8-hour tour. It was so cool. It was just. ne never ending. Just every room was. more awesome than the next. They had the. big map room. Did you see that? They had. like a map. It was like, you know, 150. ft wide, [ __ ] however many feet tall. and it was 99% accurate. And whatever. year it was that they made it, it was. like I don't know how like hundreds and. hundreds of years ago. 99% accurate. drawn by hand. Crazy. I can't even begin. to tell you how. Like I have no idea how. that could possibly be done. Louis swore. to me today. He was going to crowbar an. art talk. I did. He said in the car, he.

goes, "I bet I can get Joe talk art.". How about their books? I said he's gonna. think it's gay and he was like, I bet he. doesn't. It's funny that art would be. gay. You know, it's when you the books. that they have, too. They have a crazy. library of like they probably have some. books from the Library of Alexandria. They got tucked away in there. Well, apparently the deeper you go, like the. more like exotic the [ __ ] is. There's. like levels that you can only have. access to if you're like a king or a. [ __ ] That's why I believe people are. capable of hiding UFO information.

That's why I believe people are capable. because they're people capable of hiding. all kinds of [ __ ] But what's you hiding. England [ __ ] No one gives a [ __ ] What. are they hiding in their salt things for. their food? Tastes good. The king's. list. Yeah. This is when we had dragons. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The history of. dragons been stifled by Jay doesn't. travel. He won't go to other countries. I'm trying to get him to do shows like. in the UK just I mean they have the. internet.

Well, you got to figure New York to LA. is a 6 hour flight. New York to. Amsterdam is a 7-hour flight. I tell you. something. I've done everything. everything I did overseas. I did. probably or most things I should say. probably a little young in comedy and. intimidated myself on the situations. Well, it's not cuz you're poor, so you. can't go to like a nice nice restaurant. or like you I'll tell that when I was in. South Africa, I was wealthy, dude. It's. their money is garbage. But uh but no, but I'm telling you, I've.

and I've enjoyed some of the places when. I've gone to them. It's just like I am. such a a regular idiot that I'm just. like I'm not going to understand the. food and what what am I going to plug my. stuff into? Doesn't it explode if it's. wrong? Dude, Amsterdam is so when you go. through like when you walk through the. red light district like the places where. you could buy like snacks like you know. how many dude it's so funny they have. like like hot dogs on like pizza buns. It's so for like dumb Americans to be. like no a hot dog on a pizza bun and you. [ __ ] just eat this chocolate taco.

Choco tacos are great. Choco taco. Choco. tacos were [ __ ] badass. I get it, Jay. Why travel? [ __ ] it. I uh Yeah, I. follow the kid rock credo. I just try to. get famous here. Let's just handle it. here. This is the best place to be. famous if you can get famous. Yeah. Who. does it better than Kid Rock? He's got. Nobody really figured it out. Also, by. gunning down that Miller Light, you. know, Bud Light rather, that Bud Light. thing. Gun down those cans. Like that. was like one of the craziest moments in. economy.

Like that [ __ ] the Bud Light stock. dropped like a rock. Like that moment. when Kid Rock. guns down the Bud Light. Kid Rock, maybe. though, if we were going to appoint him. something, he should make the minister. of beer. Like, he should be the person. deciding what beer we should have. I'll. accept that cuz his friendship with the. president is hilarious. It's funny and. wacky. There's been no other thing like. that ever. You know what I mean? You. never found out like, "Oh, Bill Clinton. and Iverson kick it once in a while.". Like, that never happened. Well, there. was um what the [ __ ] name? Oh, Bobby.

Brown and [ __ ] Joe Biden [ __ ] golf. and crush ass together. What the [ __ ]. his name that's friends with Kim. Jong-un? Rodman. Rodman. Yeah. Dennis. Rodman goes over there and hangs with. Kim John. It's the best document. Do you. ever see that documentary? No. Oh, treat. yourself as soon as humanly possible to. Dennis Rodman's Big Bang and Pongyang. Oh boy. It starts off as him going over. there believing he's doing something. diplomatic and then they go, "All right, so you're going to go home and gather up. some players and come here." And the. documentary uh filmmaker goes on the.

flight back when they were coming back. now to North Korea, he goes, "Oh, I. noticed from the last time that Dennis. has started drinking again." And he was. supposed to be like, "Stop drinking. completely." And then the documentary. takes off cuz it's just Dennis Robin. [ __ ] up in North Korea for two hours. So he first comes in drunkenly, starts. bowing everybody. It's not a bowing. culture. So that's pretty hilarious. He. treats the uh North Koreans like they're. dolls who like grab them and make them.

come sing karaoke and just points at. them like while they sing. He just. dominates the room and everyone's afraid. of him and everyone hates him. Oh no. It's one of the best documentaries. Is. there a trailer for a trailer? What a. crazy thing to go hang out with a. dictator. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, also. basketball. Kim Jong-un also does not. want much to do with Dennis Robin. What? Like after his meltdown he like he like. stiffs him. He like has Dennis Robin. meet him at his like chalet and then. he's not there. Whoa. And it's just. Dennis Robin crying. Is this the. trailer? Oh,

we're here today for Dennis Rodman to. make a historic announcement following. his recent visit to North Korea. The. Ministry of Sports of the DPR Korea. invites Mr. I just realize how much. influence stylistically you take from. Dennis Rodman. Jay, almost the same guy. A lot of people say Mr. Rodman is on a. private trip and our views about North. Korea have not changed. You know, you got the JC's, the Beyonce, stuff like that. None of these people in. the world are doing what I'm doing.

[Music]. I am concerned as many Americans are. about giving a birthday present to a man. who is Wait, pause it for one second. this that do you remember that interview. on ESPN? No. So they had him and the. players had that agreed to play uh go on. there and he loses his mind. Dennis Rob, but in the documentary they show you the. whole buildup to that which is uh the. guy's meeting without Dennis Robin. They're like Dennis is a little off his. rocker right now and America's turning.

on us. We're going to do this interview. with CNN while Dennis is asleep hung. over and we'll just do it just us and. we'll be able to explain this better. that we're just trying to be diplomatic. and do something here. And then Dennis. Robin wakes up and finds out they're. doing that. He just bars on and he just. cuts a wrestling promo on this and he's. just slobberf filled. It makes no sense. Who just had his uncle executed? I'm. going to rise. What the hell you think? I'm standing here. Look at these guys. Look at him.

[Music]. Oh, so great. [Music]. Do you have to let the Koreans win? Um, when you go over there? Oh, it didn't. matter. The Koreans did. The game was. such nonsense. Like, at first it was the Americans.

versus them. They This uh Koreans kept. up with them because they're good and. they're giving a [ __ ] and trying. Dennis. Robin stops playing. He just changes out. of his thing and puts on street clothes. and goes and hangs out with uh Kim Jong. Kim Jong- right away. And then he goes. at halftime, he just goes, "Some people. switch jerseys." And then he goes, "So. we could play together." And he just has. them play. He also has the audience uh. try to sing along Happy Birthday to Kim. Jong-un when he starts the game. And the. audience doesn't know what he's singing, so they just start clapping too fast.

while he's singing. It's It's really. It's two fantastic hours of television. I recommend it highly. Wow. I love that. kind of just brazen not seeing it what's. happening around you. Like everyone's. hating him and he's just like I'm. killing it. Can't believe how good he's. doing. That's great. So he doesn't go. over there anymore. No. Well, I don't. think so. I'm sure he still drinks. though. You stopped drinking. How is. protect our parks with no drinking? It. was fun. And you're the only one not.

drinking there. Yeah. But then at some. point, aren't you r like wrangling three. Yeah. people who are blackout drunk, but. it's okay. I've been blackout drunk. I. know what it feels like. It's It's not. bad. It's just for for health purposes. I was like, I work out so much and I. take care of my body. Like, why am I. poisoning it all the time? And I said, let me just take a break. And I just. took a break. And I was like, God, why. do I need it? I was like, what am I. doing? Like, everybody's like, you want. a drink? Yeah, let's have a drink. But. sometimes you're just like, what? It's. just like a force of habit, you know? have a drink every time I do a set, have.

a whiskey, have a shot before I go on. stage. And you feel like you're doing. something. You feel bored when everyone. else is drinking, but it's really no. like I have way more energy when I'm not. drinking. I could stay up and like be. present. Like I want to I want to be in. bed by 11:00 if I'm drinking or smoking. weed. Dude, I've had three months off. and I haven't had one bad day. So, I. haven't had one day physically where I. feel like [ __ ] That has to be it. Well, the other side is your metabolism. When. I stopped drinking, I got really like. just in incredible shape. Um, and as. you're getting older, like even just.

like whatever it does to like my. metabolism, and everybody is different. Um, but it was like a huge difference in. terms of how I felt in the gym, what how. much I could run, how much I could lift. Um, it's fun. It's fun poison. Yeah, it's fun. My doctor said those exact words. He was. like, he was like, "You're poisoning. yourself." He was like, "It's up to you. If you want to poison yourself a little. bit, that's fine. Or a lot, you know, that's okay, too." But that guy sounds. fun. Yeah. They were trying to say for a. while that like My doctor's not doctor. feel good. Remember they were trying to. say for a while that one drink a night.

is probably good for you. Oh, like a. glass of red wine. It's good for your. heart. You know what the problem with. that is? Aura rings. If you have an aura. ring, you wear one of those things and. then you have it one drink. You'll. notice a difference in your sleep. Significant. It's real. It's measurable. I try not to track anything that's going. to be bad news. Yeah. They're like, "Hey, you should get a sleep study." He. goes, "Why to know for a fact that I die. 27 times a night?" Yeah. Isn't there. like things you could do where you see a. doctor and they're going to like be able. to essentially predict within a couple. years of when you're actually going to. die? That's the Joe Rogan doctors.

probably. I want to know, Joe, who you. send Bert to where they come and they. put him in that machine like Luke. Skywalker on Hoth and they come out and. they're like, "If you eat bean, if you. never eat beans again, you'll live to. 105." Bert is going to need more than. that. Every time I see him, he looks. more like a grape. Like, settle down, boy. He's uh capable of doing it on his. own, though. Bert has incredible. willpower. Like, Bert wants to lose a. lot of weight. He just drinks so much. It's part of his thing, you know? So, I. feel like he feels like I shouldn't put. words in his mouth, but he was like, "Am. I Bert Crusher?" If I'm not getting.

[ __ ] up and having fun with the fans. like that, like if he does a show and he. doesn't take his shirt off, people will. boo. Yeah, but he could pay to see tits. I. think he wants to take his shirt off and. they want it to come off. 100%. I do, too. I told I run to the balcony when. he's about to take his shirt off. There's a big cheer, the pop. When he. takes his shirt off, everybody goes. crazy. It's fun. When I did uh Bert's. podcast last time, I was like, "Stop let. everybody get in your head about like. all these complaints are about Bert. being the same person that we all are. and also who he is." But it's like now.

it's all of a sudden like, you know, he. worries about that [ __ ] And I'm like, Bert, people want you to take your shirt. off and they want to hear your stories. about your family. You're letting people. uh go like, "Well, you don't do it like. this person." It's like, well, you don't. tell jokes like Mark Norman. You know, that's not what your thing is. So, it's. not a thing to worry about. He reads the. comments. That's the problem. You read. the comments, he'll [ __ ] with your head. No matter how mentally strong you are, if you're reading a bunch of opinions. about you, it'll [ __ ] with your head. Yeah. And it's it's it's just like the. same people who go on to Yelp and write. reviews. It's just people that want to. complain. So, when you go on to social.

media, it's just like you get it feels. like like I have a pretty decent fan. base. Like Legion of Skanks, we have a. really like healthy fan base. And then. there's like 30 dudes. Not healthy. No, not physically healthy, but there's like. 30 dudes who hate me and want my son to. die. And if you go on to Twitter, I'll. just see that. And it does like [ __ ]. with you. It's not good. Yeah. It's all. 30 of his followers, you know. Well, there's a lot of crazy people out there. and there's also a lot of kids that just. want to get a rise out of you. You know, there's a lot of things going on. There's a lot of people that want to. [ __ ] with your head, but it's almost all.

unhappy people. Unfortunately, I just. learned very quickly though, like the. ones that I have responded to, even when. I respond like my thing was always to. respond kind of funny. I'm not getting. into fights. Yeah. Or so be someone. write like a two paragraphs about how. terrible I am and I would be like, you. know, come on Jimbo, you don't mean it. And then how much they write. I mean. without fail almost 100% of the time. they're like, "Dude, just being a piece. of [ __ ] man. I had a crappy day. Love. you, dude. Listen every day to meet them. in real life." Sometimes you'll see. there's one guy who tweets at me almost. every day where he says, "Lis Jay Gomez.

has lip fillers." And he's trying to get. this to be a thing to catch on. Um and. then like like every day he's trolling. me and I'm like this [ __ ] guy. And. like for maybe two years, Louis Jas has. lip fillers. He'll respond to. everything. Other people tweet at me. is. like, "Just so you know, you're you're. talking to somebody who has lip fillers, and I don't have lip fillers. I have. beautiful Puerto Rican lips." This guy. showed up at a show. You had a little. work, dude. He showed up at a show in um. Lipers are wild for a dude. That's wild. He showed up at a show in Raleigh, North. Carolina with a t-shirt that said Louis. J. Gomez has lip fillers. And then I was.

like, I should bite your [ __ ] nose. off your face. What are you doing? But. he's just like, "Oh, no. I'm a fan.". Like, it's hilarious. He's just being. silly. He's just being silly every day. Being silly. Yeah. Yeah. That's part of. the fun of being a fan. Yeah. you know. No, rise out of you. It worked. I know. So, I steer He got you. He's in the. front row. He got you. He got you. I. steer clear of the comment just cuz of. that. Yeah. It's like I don't know. I'd. rather just meet people and if they show. up, I guess they're so sweet in person. cuz Skank Fest is like half of them are. like people that were on Reddit and. trolling. You go to Skankfest and it is.

just thousands of people that are like. just just love. Like they really skank. fest particularly. It's like you know. they say how many times in your life. have you walked by a murderer? It's like. how many times does Skankfest do? I walk. by, take a picture, and shake hands with. somebody who's like, "Dude, you used to. be good, but you suck dick at comedy. now." All right. You're always gonna get. guys like that. There was one guy who. was a fan of ours in the old school when. we were at the Creek and Cave back in. New York. There's a dude who was he wore. black glasses, long black hair, and he. was at every episode. He ended up. murdering his mother. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Murdering his mother becoming great. friends with Doug Stanho. Like his jail pen pal with Sanh Hope. Whoa. It was pretty funny. He uh when he. got out he's out he like lives in like a. halfway house type thing now cuz it was. a mental issue that he did that which is. clearly if you kill your mom well you. know she might have been a [ __ ] she'd. have to do something really bad if you. kill your mom I feel like I don't care. you obviously have mental issues like. yeah he was like but he had that when he. called us he described it was like it. was like he thought she was like a demon. that he had to stop before she got out.

in the world like he went he went crazy. but I still feel like you should lock. that guy up you guys don't pay attention. to the BJ Penn stuff he's he's like. losing it, right? PJ Pen claims that his. family are imposters, that someone is uh. kidnapped his family and replaced them. Oh, yeah. That's a very Isn't it funny. when they hit the uh with mania and. manic [ __ ] like that and uh bipolar with. those kind of things? Like they really. like they're textbook that if you look. it up cuz I've looked it up before. We. look it up. It's texting one sentence at.

a time. A rel a newfound thing in like. religion and like being serious about it. all of a sudden. Like it's always been. that way. And weird. And they always. have those things. That's one of them. too. Like everyone's everyone's fake, right? Everyone in my life has been. replaced with somebody else. They called. something particularly. Some of them. think they have a chip in their head and. people are talking to them. Mhm. Yeah. There's a lot of that. A lot of that is. they have a chip in their head. Well, this guy who killed his mom and Doug. Stino became friends with Doug was doing. a Zoom skanks one time episode with us.

and he had that guy call in and uh you. know we were asking him kind of about. what happened and he was you know he. gave a very compelling story and we were. saying goodbye to him. He goes uh he. goes do you remember this? He goes, "I. just want to say, uh, you know, when I. was going through all that horrible. stuff and the last several years that. have been so difficult and terrible and. my family hating me and but I still. always, man, I listen to you guys and. laugh and I just want to say that I love. you guys and I was like, well, I think I.

think I speak for the group and I say. because we all are aware of what you'll. do if you feel someone is a problem.". So, yeah. Or a demon. Yeah. Or possibly. a demon. Yeah. See, I'm The point is we. have some great fans. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody wants part of their. You guys are doing something really fun. You're getting all the misfits together, you know, and you're you're celebrating. comedy. It's It's like a real comedy, like a comics festival. Like the comics. look forward to it. Everybody loves it.

Everybody talks so highly of it, you. know, and everybody says the vibe is so. fun because they they just go there to. see like, you know, people were real. upset when Louis CK started to come back. into the public eye. Yeah. But uh one of. my favorite moments is when he went up. at Skankfest. They didn't know he was. going to be there. That was the first. time he performed in America after he. got cancelled. It was awesome. It was. awesome. And it was it was I mean it was. wild. And what's beautiful about the. fans, they're educated comedy fans. So. we didn't even have to tell them to not. pull out their cell phones. Not a single. person took video. Not a single person.

like this did cuz I watched the video. No. I took that video of Justin Silver. announcing ladies and gentlemen, you. know, special guest. And I didn't take. any of his set. It was just him walking. on a stage standing ovation. It made. TMZ. It was [ __ ] really cool. I mean, I was I was I was a pig and [ __ ] I went. outside. I got emotional. I was like, that was [ __ ] so cool. That's cool. What was really neat about what's funny. about that moment was I was with Soder, Dan Soder, and I was like, uh I was. like, "You want to come outside? I'm. going to smoke a joint outside." He. goes, "Yeah, sure." And as we were just. walking through that room, I wasn't even.

thinking about it. They go He goes, "Oh, wait." You know, he goes, "We should. watch Louis come on real quick." And I'm. like, "Oh, yeah, sure." Like I didn't. overthink of the moment you were about. to watch was so crazy. It was really It. was really cool. Like uh that was that. was like one of the coolest moments at. the festival. That and then the tough. crowd. We did a tough crowd reunion at. Skankfest in Brooklyn a few years ago. and just having everybody from Tough. Crowd get together and that's awesome. Yeah. Colin, you know, being at the head. of it. That was awesome. That was one of. the best shows ever. He should He should. just make it a podcast. It would be a. huge podcast. 100%. I wonder if he has.

the name. If he owns the name, but then. he should definitely do it. I think he. does. I think he just doesn't want to. I. think well it might be something that. someone needs to offer it to him and put. it together you know like if someone. like it could be something if you said. it he'd be like I never even thought of. that until this moment a lot of people. have a lot he's he's been approached. with it he was great at the club he was. at the club a couple weeks ago he's. awesome awesome he was great all the. comics that worked there they all like. lined up to watch him you know I mean. he's a real like he's just such a pro.

also so far material is so interesting. he's such an interesting guy. Well, he. does the oneman shows are fantastic. When I the last time I did Tough Crowd, uh he warmed up the crowd and so he's. doing standup in front of the crowd and. he was [ __ ] murdering. I'm like, "This is way better than even Tough. Crowd." Like he's one of the most. underrated guys of all time. Yeah. You. know, like all us comics know how funny. he is. He's like a real comics comic and. every every he's like in the top three. for it's like a it's like a tell like. he's there. It's always like top three. for every comedian. It was also though.

that place was like the shark tank. though for something when they got Oh. yeah. that fan. I never felt bad for. somebody more in my life when they had. him on there. And the only segment that. was uh produced of Tough Crowd, you. remember, was the last one you had to. write and give them like the whatever. your little rant was going to be about. the final topic. I did it once. About. that uh final topic. That was the only. like homework you had to do at all. And. um that fan was clearly going to do. something about like his mother and do.

the voice or something. M and Patrice. right before he like was about to do his. part his fourth segment thing. He goes, "Hey, let's see if you can do two. minutes without talking doing your mom. accent." Oh. And then and then Voss and. all those guys just like started. pouncing on him. And then he just had to. go like, "Hey, you guys." So my mother. called me like, "Oh, oh, he had to do it. still." That's how we prepared. Oo man, that was but it was like an like. an OG podcast. Before podcasting was. podcasting like just a bunch of comics.

sitting around just barking at each. other arguing. So fun. It was fun. Way. ahead of its time. But then again like. Regis and Kathy Lee was a podcast. technically too. Technically if you. really think about it. Yeah. The View. all these shows. I think Opie and. Anthony was the big start of it all. Yeah, for sure. That was what started it. off for me cuz that was the first time I. was ever on a show where it was no. structure. It was just comics. Like we. all could be on Opie and Anthony. We'd. be having this exact same conversation. except Norton and Kumia and Opie would. be here. Same [ __ ] conversation.

Yeah. You know, it was just they let you. go. I was more of a Howard Stern guy, you know, and I know so were you as. well, but without Opie and Anthony, like. shows like Legion of Skanks wouldn't. exist. Like that's the truth. Like we. also there's a lot of fans that are just. like just these 50-year-old truckers. that are just like, "We need something.". And now our generation was having a much. harder time. Like it wasn't like back in. the day when Stern was Howard Stern was. bringing on comics, all the comics cuz. that was like his crew he was trying to. build up. Like we were past that. So we. had no there was no like show that was. like that for anybody which except for.

Opie Anthony. I was Ron and Fez. You. remember Ron and Fez show? That's the. show that kind of like took me in that I. uh jived with best. Yeah. That was a lot. of fun. Ron Bennington's [ __ ] great. He's the best. So funny. Yeah. There's. like, you know, there's a whole you. could track like like ancient man, you. know, like [ __ ] prehistoric. You. could track podcasts to where it is. Without a doubt. How about Mark Maron. just quitting? I know. Crazy. He's done. He's hanging it up. Not fun anymore. The.

uh Yeah, but like Opie and Anthony, what. they did different than Stern was they. put comics on. There was a few comics. that would come on Stern. They would. interview like they were mega stars. Obie and Anthony figured out they could. put three or four comics in a room and. create like a beautiful chaos and it was. just going to be people bouncing off. each other. You'd create these moments. that nobody knew was going to happen. Really cool. Stern did not believe in. that. You want a cigar? I'll take a. cigar. Hell yeah, dude. That's what I'm. talking about. I love a good cigar. Yeah, Stern's thing now is for comics. Oh, Stern sucks now. Now it has to be. I.

know. It's really It's funny like I was. one of the last people to check out. Yeah, you like to turn way too late. I. still listen, I still arbitrarily just. go to it and I think he's the best that. ever did it. I think he I give him all. the kudos in the world. Without him, there would be nothing. None of it. I. give him all the kudos in the world. It's just I think the. like I don't think I think his last like. phase here might be like I might be. weirdly too young for it. Like possibly. Thank you. Like the interviews don't. really ones. These are good. These are.

good. The interviews don't really strike. me anymore. I really don't. He's not. going to get to anything that I care. about with Sarah Jessica Parker. It's. just not going to get He's Yeah, I. remember back in the day he made the guy. one of those guys who died from LFO. Remember that that song from the '9s? Uh. what is it? I like Chinese food makes me. sick. Girls of Summer. I don't know what. that is. You're a real cigar guy. Look. at you. You know how to burn before you. It's a one hit. It's a one hit wonder. I. don't remember. Lfo. They were like. around the same time as all the boy. bands and they got uh pretty popular and.

he made one of those guys so. interesting. You got him to talk about. [ __ ] Jennifer Love Huitt and then her. dumping him and the way he found out he. was dumped like she gave him a ring that. was like a promise ring from her to him. and then he saw her and like a tabloid. walking with another guy and the guy had. the same exact ring. That's just her. ring she gives out. She's a wild girl. Yeah. Giving out rings to dudes. I know. She [ __ ] aged like a goddamn plum. though. She looks like [ __ ] Oh no. She. looks like [ __ ] now. I feel bad say this.

is a big too big of a platform to be. like trashing a girl for not being. pretty anymore. It's [ __ ] up. Back off. of that. This is the way to do it. I. mean better if you don't say it. Hillary. Clinton. No. I mean no. Pamela Anderson. I mean god damn it. Did. she fall off? She was the hottest woman. wearing makeup. She put it back on. again. It didn't help a lot. But I will. say. no. She was Pamela Anderson. First of. all, the documentary about her they did. on Netflix documentaries. Jay loves a. documentary. Love them. Uh the one they. did about her. He won't read a book, but.

he'll watch a documentary all day long. Books. Who's got time for books? Um but. the thing about her made me like her. The one about Anna Nicole Smith made me. realize what a piece of [ __ ] she was. I. mean, terrible person it seemed like. Uh. and then Pam Anderson made me kind of. like fall in love with her again where. I'm like, this is a she really is just. like a dummy who just believes in love. Yeah. She's just like a sucker. No, she. had she had a couple moments where she. talked about um like during the Me Too. movement, she was like, "Look," she was. like, "I got invited to every hotel room. by every director in Hollywood." She was.

like, "I didn't go because I knew what. the [ __ ] they wanted." And she just kind. of had a very real opinion on that whole. sort of movement and what was going on. It's like, you know what's happening if. you go to a hotel room with some [ __ ]. powerful guy? Like, you know, you have. to take a certain amount of, you know, accountability yourself. And she had a. very real take on it, which I kind of. respected. Well, Hollywood had a long. history doing that. Tarantino was. telling me about this old school. director that had a bedroom in his. office and his name was Quinton. Tarantino. His name was Tint Quarantino.

Dude, he [ __ ] We talked about that, right? Where he he uh in Desperado is. it? Or Dust Dust Dawn where he's like. that's Dave always. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, I'm going to uh I'm going to. have Salahek shove her foot in. somebody's mouth. You know what? I think. it'll be me. I'll take that. Hilarious. I'm not going to put George Clooney. through the sweet sensation of sucking. Salah's beautiful foot. Oh god, she was. hot in that scene. He played such a good. serial killer in that [ __ ] movie. That was great. I just watched it like.

two weeks ago again. He was such a good. psycho. I prefer Black Dust till Dawn. called Sinners. I don't think Dustin had. enough of enough social commentary. I. thought Sinners was great. People hate. him. I didn't see it. I thought it was. really good. People try to politicize. everything. I'm like, it's just a fun. vampire movie. Who cares? Yeah. You. don't like a good vampire movie? Is it I. love a good vampire movie kind of. Yeah. They were saying it's like an attack on. white culture. The annoyance of the. first the first vampires were like white. and they were like feasting on black. people and uh which you know black. people would be more delicious. But you.

very rarely other than Blade. You very. rarely get a black vampire. Yeah. Sweeter the juice. You know what I'm. saying? It's like Oh, you remember. Blackula? It had to be a comedy. It was No, it was. a [ __ ] movie. No, but it's a it's. like a black exploitation, right? Kind. of. But supposed to be ridiculous. I. think it was a horror movie. I think it. was a legit horror movie. Black vampire. Do you know Blackula? Yeah, there it is. Blackula. I found this out from that. Pee-Wee Herman documentary. Uh, Blackula. was the mailman on Peewee's Playhouse. Oh, no. What a wack. Yeah. Really? Isn't.

that weird? Wow. Phil Hartman was on. Peewee's Playhouse. Died hating him. What? Phil Hartman did Peewee Herman. when he died. No. Still. Yeah. What. makes you say that? That's a thing in. the documentary. Phil Hartman hated Phil. Hman did an interview with Howard Stern. and Howard Stern asked him about that. and he was like, "Yeah, we don't speak. anymore." And Oh, wow. He thought he. didn't get enough credit, I think, for. uh Peewee's Big Adventure and [ __ ] Oh, that's unfortunate. Yeah, that's weird. cuz Phil was Peewee Herman was a real. [ __ ] queen, but very interesting. Easy. to get along with. Like Phil was ask his.

wife. He was easy for me. I got along with him. great. I love Andy Dick there was the. problem. He was fun, man. He was just. too wild, you know. But I did so many. scenes with that dude where we had to do. him like three or four times because I. couldn't stop laughing. I just couldn't. stop breaking character. He was more. just like sad what he's going through. now. Everything's Yeah. It's not good. But he also just gets like he's one of. those guys he's like letting himself get. used by people I assume for drugs or. something, but I mean like I don't know. cuz he ends up on these like weird pods.

where it's like he's sleeping at some. guy's house or something weird. It's not. good. Yeah. He's out of it. And he was. right there on the precipice with jury. duty. Paulie Shor's vehicle jury duty, right? He did other stuff too, man. He. did that that [ __ ] war movie. What. was the war movie they did? Oh, in the. army now. That's right. Yeah, he was in. that. I think that's the one he did. I. don't know if he he may have done. another one or two of them. They may. have been trying to Farley Spade them. Farley spade them together. He's a funny.

dude though. Do you have hopes for Happy. Gilmore, too? Could it possibly be good? Yeah. Adam Sandler still makes good. stuff. He still makes good stuff. Yeah, he does. Those Netflix ones were good. Like they were funny. They're pretty. good. You like Huie Halloween or. something, man. They're funny. They're. pretty good. If you you like Adam. Sandler, I love Adam Sandler movies. I. love silly movies. Like I love the one. when he played his own sister. What was. that one? Jack and Jill. Jack and Jill's. [ __ ] hilarious. And Aluccino's in. love with her and she's a brute. It's. It's [ __ ] funny. Honestly, on the.

rules, he's a great actor. And I mean, Happy Gilmore was so great, but I almost. feel like there's no way this segment's. gonna be good. They'll figure it out. I. think they're going to try to do too. many throwback moments. This what was a. movie they they kind of did that with. recently. [ __ ] uh like this coming to. America part two. Yeah. Like they. there's like that was terrible. That was. actually [ __ ] ter and Coming to. America I grew up on. First of all, they. made it PG-13. The original Coming to. America was rated R. They made it a. musical. They put music numbers in it. It was bad. Um, but I have I look I I.

will I thought Beetle Juice Beetle Juice. people loved. I didn't like that. Same. thing. I thought it was like Yeah, you. can't capture that first one. I thought. Beetlejuice was pretty good. The new. one. I thought it was pretty good. Yeah, I liked it. It wasn't as good as the. first one, but it's pretty good. I. [ __ ] loved it. The Soul Train when. they got on the Soul Train. It was all. dead like resurrected black people. dressed in like 1970s outfits dancing. Have you seen it? I saw I kept on. falling asleep. If I keep on turning it. on and falling asleep 20 minutes into. it. Well, it's it's good, man. It's it's.

pretty solid. I mean, it is one of those. Tim Burton movies. Just like a fun, weird [ __ ] movie, you know? I love. the first one, man. I didn't know Tim. Burton made the first Pee-Wee's Big. Adventure. Did he really? First Tim. Burton movie. Yeah. Oh, that makes. sense. Was Large Marge. I forgot to tell. him. Large Marge. That looked like the. girl we brought to the UFC event. You remember? If they would call her. that, we still would have kept our heads. down. Large. She is large. [ __ ] bro. Peewee's Playhouse was so fun. or. Peewee's Big Adventure rather was so. fun. Peeweee's Playhouse was trippy. I.

didn't even know that. That's how like. weird. Like PeeWee's Playoffs was meant. to be like one of these bikes was for. sale recently auction. I thought How. much did it go for? Well, guess I'll let. you guess. $100,000. It went for more. than that. $500,000. It was $135,000. Wow. There's 14 bikes and it was one of. them that was supposed to It had no seat. on it. It was a fun movie, man. I went. to see that with a girl I was dating in. high school and we we were like the only. people in the movie theater. It was like. one of them lucky moments. We were just. [ __ ] howling, howling, laughing. First was well, the whole thing was.

always to have like nods for adults in. it. A kids movie to it was totally like. an anybody's movie. It wasn't just like. a kids movie. It was an anybody movie. Peewee was a little off. I was being a. kid watching it being like, "What's the. [ __ ] deal here?" Big Top Peewee all. It was just always a little bit weird. Peewee was that was his he tried to do. it himself and that's why that did. terribly. Oh, really? Cuz again, there's. jokes there no one gets. I forgot this. I saw it once when it first came out. Never saw again. He's got a make out. scene with somebody that just goes on.

for like five straight. They just never. stop having them make out and just keeps. panning further and further backwards. like five in the middle of the movie. Five minutes like hardcore making out. with the chick. I mean, when I was older, I think I. would have gotten cuz he had such like. he said a lot of Andy Warhol inspired. stuff and reference. There was an. episode of Peewee's Big Adventure or. Peewee's Playhouse where he said 2. minutes he just put dog food in a bowl. and it was just like ASMR, a close-up of. a dog just eating the food for like two. straight minutes, which I would have. weirded me out when I was a kid. Yeah, for sure. It was a lot of just it was it.

whatever it was, it was just a little. bit off. Um he got rolled up in one of. the most [ __ ] cases ever. Oh, he got. caught jerking off. He got Kurt jerking. off in a gay movie theater where you're. supposed. to do. That didn't ruin him the way uh. he thought like that. In fact, I thought. this was interesting when he did his. first comeback was that Buffy the. Vampire Slayer movie and uh he made he. asked him to make his character look. like his mug shot. That's why he looks. like that. That's funny. He said it made. him look like Charles Manson. Like a.

tough Did you watch it, Jamie? No, I saw. clips of it. I was really into I mean, didn't it get his show cancelled? Like. No, show was already done. Okay. Show. was already done. I But he was he was. out for a while. Then he was in Blow. He. was in that. No, he came back. He had a. he had a career for real. But after. that, what took him down was cuz I. thought you were saying got caught up in. the biggest [ __ ] He was caught up. in that sweep that got Jeffrey Jones. What's that? The the That's the That was. the principal from uh Ferris Buer. That. guy got nailed with actual pornography. Oh. And he and Peewee Herman was friends.

with him. So they went and searched. Peewee's house. And what they found? He's a collector. He's like a crazy. collector. Just found a big couch that. can talk. Yeah. Bunch of naked kids. inside of it. No, you understand. I. don't [ __ ] him. It eats them. Um, no. He. had like erotica from like the 70s in. collections that was like and everyone. was above age, but it just like it was. considered obscene material. Oh, no. When they went to his house, where was. he living? California, I believe. And.

obscene erotica. He got nailed with. obscene material charges, but he was. lumped in with like pedophilia. The. charge here is. a little worse than that. What is it? pleaded no contest in LA court to. charges of hiring a 14-year-old boy to. pose for photographs. To pose for. photographs. They leave that out of the. documentary. I feel like. they didn't put that in the documentary. Look at Jay defending an actual. pedophile. I'm just saying he was a good. guy. You got to stay documentary. Oh man, child porn was not part of the.

deal. Joe, the first time we did your. podcast when you showed us all your cool. toys in your LA studio, I would have. sucked your dick to do one of those. things. Which toys? your like your your. uh compound bow. I've told I've told. this story so many times on podcast. This is the first time we came here and. it's all it ends so great cuz uh me, David, and Lewis all came in in LA and. you took us first and you go check this. out and you grabbed compound bow and you. had the laser sight and you could shoot. it all the way across the full UFC gym.

you had. It looks so cool. We were all. like just warming our hands up like we. can't wait till we can do this. Then you. put the bow down as I was reaching. forward I thought. And then you went. over, you go, "There's the pool table.". You broke a rack and sunk a few. Like, cool. Then you open the door and you're. like, "Here's where I freeze myself. Here's where I thaw myself out." We're. like, "Wow." And then you go, "And. here's my prize uh possession." And you. had the They do it for golf and stuff, too. Like the Kevlar screen hunting. Yeah. And you had the flat tip, but I. go, "He probably wants us to do this one. because it's the flat tips. No one's.

going to get hurt." And then you [ __ ]. wailed two elk. And then you go, "Let's. go podcast, boys." And I was like, he. just showed us all his toys and was. like, don't touch them. The problem with. those toys is I can't teach you that. quickly to I understand. We're going to. embarrass ourselves. We would have. embarrassed ourselves big, but then we. always say like how much Dave Smith came. on like talks with you after that. individually. Me, we were me and Louis. like why doesn't Joe embrace us the way. he embraces Dave? And then someone. brought up the p the first picture we. ever took here. It's so funny. It's the.

werewolf. I am standing behind the. werewolf like I'm [ __ ] it. Louis. Lewis is yeah acting like he's getting. sucked off by the bear and Dave is just. leaning in touching it going I'm like oh. you know what Dave had respect for you. and your belongings. We're like oh. that's hilarious. The difference between. us and Dave I wonder why Dave keeps. going back. Dave is his hand on the head. gently. Yeah. Is Dave in the Rogan.

sphere? We're trying to figure out how. we get in the Rogan sphere. My ochre. fear is Look, first of all, Shane. doesn't Shane doesn't need the Rogan. sphere anymore. Let's just move Shane. out. Move Big Jay into that position. Doesn't require the Ari's moving to. [ __ ] Thailand or something. He's. gone. I'm ready. I'm a wacky guy. I'll. shave half my head. Ari's going to do a. stint over there and bail. I'm going to. talk to him. I'll call him up every day. [ __ ] that place. Call him up. Plant it. in his head. I think we got Diaz coming. here. Oh, it's Austin. Yeah, that's. great. Yeah, he's we talked about it.

this weekend. I saw him in Jersey for. the fights. So, he's back in the sphere. [ __ ] Yeah. Plenty of room for you guys. You're in. the sphere right now. You're on the. show. Every time the Rogan sphere gets. talked about, we never get thing. When. Cat Williams said six unfunny comics, we. knew it wasn't us. I knew it wasn't us. I would have been happy to be one of the. six unfunny comics. Listen, cat probably. has a point. But what I was trying. on. I'm like, bro, I love you. He's so. funny. I couldn't wait to have him on. right away. I'm like, I reached out to.

him right away. I go, that's not true. I. just haven't reached out to you because. I didn't know if you wanted to do it. Sure. Like, I didn't know he wanted to. do it. If he want If I thought he wanted. to do it, I would have had him on a long. time ago. I He might be one of my. favorite like standups to watch a. special of cuz I have a hard time like. laughing at like on TV specials. Pimp. Chronicles. Dude, he's [ __ ] so funny, dude. I'm not going to lie. I need. subtitles for it, but I I I genuinely. don't know what he's saying, but I know. Cat Williams is very, very funny. Pimp. Chronicles is a masterpiece. It's a. masterpiece. He's so good.

There's something about him when he's. cooking too. When he's cooking, when. he's like really on fire, it's different. than everybody else. He's sweating and. then, you know, he's his [ __ ] hair is. throwing back and just the tone of his. voice and the way he repeats punchlines. It's like that guy gets cooking, man. He. gets cooking. Like you watch the crowd, they're just falling out. He does really. long sets, too, right? He does like an. hour and a half. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a beast. He's a beast. He's a wild. boy. At least I've done knows how to. drive, too. I put him on the driving.

simulator. He [ __ ] killed it. Oh, I. always see him track on Worldstar Hip. Hop. He beats like pro athletes in races. and [ __ ] all the time. I believe it. It's very weird. Yeah. And he talks. about And he still What's funny is he. also dresses though like the old black. guy who comes to play basketball. So, it. looks like he's not going to be that. good. And then he's like fast as [ __ ]. Beat up a teenager. Do you remember. that? It's the funniest thing in the. world. He goes, "Watch this. This is him. at a racing simulator." By the way, he's. doing it one hand. Give me some volume. Get in there. Get in there. There you.

are. There he is. That's where you have. to fight that competition off that corn. How accurate is the simulator? Pretty. [ __ ] good. It's got gravity. It It. turns you side to side. It has crazy. noises. It feels like you're really. driving. Yeah. And how do we do it like this? Cuz. we do this in real life. If he was driving Uber, he'd be making a.

personal phone call right now. So he can drive. He looks terrified. No, he looks like. he's on it, man. That steering wheel, that steering wheel break your wrist if. you're holding. Yeah, it's hard. It's. not a game. No, it the steering wheel. reacts as if your tires would react on. at high speeds on a racetrack. Do you. guys ever do a racetrack? You ever drive. in a racrack? No, I can't I can't drive.

35 miles an hour on a regular road. I do. believe in full I do believe in full. track. When I did Bert's Tour, one of. the things we performed at a racetrack. and they had the pace car. It was like a. convertible and they took us all for. like a couple loops like individually. One time they wanted us to film it and. mine was so boring because I was like. smiling. It was exhilarating the whole. time but they were like you know Bert's. giving them and people are going like no. no no no like the corners are coming and. they were like you didn't freak out at. all. I go I just had blind trust they're.

not going to kill us like right like are. they going to put us in real like are we. going to start cartwheeling down the. [ __ ] road here? This I assume they're. not going to do anything they don't know. how to do perfectly. This is why Bert's. famous because Bert's fun and he reacts. big and you just sat there like I was. just like this was neat. Nobody wants to. watch that. I know. I should watch you. screaming and [ __ ] yelling and crying. about your daughter. Just be yourself. My daughter. Don't worry about what. people want. Yeah, I can't scream at. that. I gave it remember when the first.

time you guys did my nails on the show, I freaked out about touching my. cuticles. And now he gets them done. Now. he gets them done. No, he gets his nails. painted by a Asian lady every week. No, you have to once it's get done every. other week. Lewis, I'm not a diva. Is. that a thing you think you feel. connected to? Like you have to keep. doing that now. Bert Chryser take your. shirt off thing. Oh, no, no, no, not. like that. No, it's more like connecter. No, it's a gayer thing. No, it's. connected to uh I bit my nails forever. Got my teeth fixed. Can't bite my nails. anymore. They grew in raggedy. I tried. to take care of them myself and was just.

terrible at it. They got my nails on the. show in time because I a bit because he. he if you if you just did this to Jay, look, if you show him you're pulling. your cuticle back, he'll freak out for. some reason. It's a weird thing. So, we. had an Asian lady come in and we warned. her. We were like, "Listen, the type of. show the jokes we're going to make." She. was so cool. This like little She barely. spoke any English, but she was such a. fun time and she did his nails on the. show and he screamed like a girl the. whole time cuz she didn't scream. It was. more like that like pull away like I was. I I did not enjoy it. Yeah. And then uh.

it became a thing where every week after. that he came in with a new color nails. every other week. But it's the uh I keep. saying every week. I'm not a gay man. I. uh. No, but once they were done then Yeah. Once you can't really undo it. I don't. know what to do now. I can't take care. of them that good myself. I can't make. them look like that. Just go get it. done. Who gives a [ __ ] Yeah. If that's. what you like. Yeah. Everybody's got. their own quirks. Louis, leave them. alone. Jesus. Yeah. Louis, you chose to. have nipple rings that connect. I have. one or had one nipple ring. I can't. believe you actually had one. I was. kidding. Did they connect like Xerxes?

No. No. I had a nipple ring. I had a lip. ring. I like ring. Isn't the funniest. thing you had all those things when your. like now you my body sucked. Yeah. Yeah. You never had a nipple ring. You never. had a nipple ring. You had your tit. You look sexy in tank tops. I was so. bad, dude. Just a fat kid with a nipple. ring for How did you get it done? I. don't know. I just went to I like. tattoos and piercings and [ __ ] I was. young. I was surprised though. I kept uh. from being fat my whole life also. I. kept my tattoos always to arms for the.

most. I never did ones that I would have. to take my shirt off for people to see. Yeah. I wouldn't do a stomach tattoo. No, but you had like here. I have my. chest tattooest. On my own. I got it. when my mom died. It says on my own. On. my own. I know. Isn't that ironic for a. guy who owns a company and is has a. thousand friends and collaborates with. people and everything he does? He's on. his own. Well, he says on this side, uh. coachel writer. You figured out early on though that the. best way to not get pulled off of [ __ ]. is to have your own network though. Yeah. Like Kumia did that. You guys did. that. Yeah. Yeah. That's such funny is.

for we were going like for a few years. it would almost seem like pointless cuz. Patreon got so big. Then with censorship. with YouTube and all these other. platforms now there's never been a. better time for it. Like we have an. uncensored version of the show and adree. version of the show. We can say anything. we want. YouTube hunts us every time we. get close to that plaque. We've had our. four YouTube channels taken down in the. 90 in the 90s something thousands of. subscribers because Jesus Christ they. just start reviewing it then they're. like no no way. What is the kind what. gets pulled? What's it about? Most of.

the time it's actually our [ __ ] dumb. producers leaving in like nudity and. [ __ ] like that. Um YouTube relaxes. moderation rules to allow more. controversial content. That's like just. today though. Oh this is today. Freedom. of expression value may outweigh harm. risk. That's great. for YouTube. [ __ ] It is changing a. little bit, which is good. The pendulum. swings, right? Podcast I was listen the. other day and I was like, "How is this?". Cory's wild. He's so funny. All the. words. All the words you're not allowed.

to say. Like, so we bleep out like all. the no no words, right? And this. includes discussions of elections, ideologies, movements, race, gender, sexuality, abortion, immigration, and. censorship. Beautiful. We're back. Not remove anything considered to be in. the public interest. Oh, dude. Well, abortion, too. So, we could do that. abortion now on the air. Remember that. live abortion. We've been putting that. bit off for years. That would be a great. bit. Early term. Everything that you can. discuss is in the public interest, though. That's, you know, I'm glad they.

changed it to that. That's a great way. it like like jokes like specifically. like I got I got my um on Instagram. right now. They I can't um go live or. advertise on Instagram for a year. because I was talking about a bit that I. did on my first special on Dan Soder's. podcast um about how I would get free. cocaine in Mexico. I went up the beach. and like I would get samples of cocaine. I told the story about actually doing it. and they flagged it and said we were. promoting like uh the sales of drugs and.

I'm [ __ ] [ __ ] for a year now. Jesus. Christ. Yeah. It's like literally a. joke. I'm just You did put up the number. of the dealer, though. You put up the. dealer's number? No. No. No. But that's. what I did. I would I would go up and. down the beach and I'd get a free sample. of cocaine. I go to the next guy, get. another free sample of cocaine, go to. the next guy, and I just did that all. night until they caught on. There were. Well, you were the leader of the cartel. Yeah, they can get you for Rico charges. now. Yeah, that was uh the Cabo Comedy. Festival. The shittiest comedy festival. ever like a decade ago. Cabo Comedy.

Festival. And at the end of the night, I. [ __ ] like a 70-year-old woman. She was gross. Louis still hotter than. the girl we brought to the UFC in. Philly. You was she? No. You've hooked. up with a couple of hilarious ones. Old. ladies. Yeah. Just like Oh [ __ ] I think. on ship rocks one year you hooked up. with a [ __ ] doozy. Oh yeah. She had. like a really thick smoker's voice. It's like come to my cabin. Jesus. You're a little bit locked in on a. cruise. Especially a heavy metal cruise. Heavy metal from the '9s. There's no Hot.

Chicks on those cruise cruise. Yeah, we. did a thing. I've done it a bunch. Dude, I was watching uh this documentary today. on the Black Sea where all those cargo. ships wind up sinking. Have you ever. seen ships going across the Black Sea? It's apparently like the most dangerous. part of the ocean to cross. For Lewis, where's the Black Sea? Cuz I see his eyes are crossing. I think. it's uh across the top of the UK. I'm. not exactly sure, but I watched this. documentary about watching these [ __ ]. cargo ships get nailed by these monster.

waves. And you I'm like imagine being on. a [ __ ] cruise ship and some [ __ ] like. that. Oh my god, it's terrifying. Renegade wave goes sideways. So where's. it? That's the Black Sea. So where's. that at? Turkey. Turkey. Yeah. Between. Turkey. See if you can find some videos. of cargo ships getting [ __ ] up on the. Black Sea. It's crazy. It's scary. The. ocean's scary in general. Terrible. The. ocean is I've been surfing before and. I'm just I'm just not good at it. Like. you feel the power of the [ __ ] ocean. It's Well, how about just the idea? I've. done those cruise ships enough to be.

like, it's just if you go off that boat, you're as good as dead. It won't stop. Look at this. It snapped the cargo ship. in two. The wave was so big, it snapped. this [ __ ] ship in half. [ __ ] that. And this is nothing compared. to some of the waves I've seen. Some of. the waves are [ __ ] bananas. Apparently, if you fall off a cruise. ship, they they can't stop the ship. They can't. Look at this [ __ ] Look at. this [ __ ]. says, "Fuck that." If you fall off a. cruise ship, they can't turn around and. get you. There's more death by fire a.

year or by sea. No, they have to like. call the the uh like the Coast Guard or. whatever to come and find you, but. you're dead. They give you coordinates. that mean nothing. Yeah, they throw some. [ __ ] donuts out to you and you That's. it. There's no You have to find the. donuts in the ocean. The ocean's [ __ ]. flopping, dude. The worst part of that. for for me is that if I fell off, I'm. holding on to a donut and hearing the. sounds of Tesla slowly slink away. Oh, they're doing acoustic signs. [ __ ].

Take pictures, you [ __ ] Yeah, there's. a there's a cargo ship that's on fire. right now in uh I forget which ocean, but it's filled with EVs and uh. apparently one of them caught fire in. the middle of the ocean. It's why you. can't put [ __ ] electric cigarettes in. your [ __ ] suitcase, right? Same. thing. I pay attention to none of those. rules. Remember when those Samsung. phones were lighting people's cars on. fire? Indian Coast Guard battles massive. fire and container ship listed off. I. don't know. I don't think this is the. one. It's an Indian. There's another. one, Jamie. That is uh that's uh UVs.

It's all UV cars. Isn't there. theoretically people in some of those. cargo things? Cargo ship carrying UVs on. fire. UVs. Sorry. EVs, not U. Sorry. Is that. just a wire or is that how they get. people over sometimes? And there's. people sometimes those cargo things. Oh, yeah. No, that's real. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. So that's filled with. electric cars. I wonder whose cars they. are. It just says EVs. It doesn't say if. it was Teslas, it would say cargo ship. filled with Teslas. They would throw.

Elon under the bus for sure. Yeah. I'm not sold in the electric car. They're great when they work. It's just. like if you have them plugged into your. house, it's the [ __ ] You never go to. the gas station. You just plug it in. when you go to sleep at night. It's. easy. I think you need your car to be. more reliable than your phone. Well, they're really reliable. The thing is. about driving them like Teslas, they. never [ __ ] up. I've had three three of. them. They I've never had a problem. Really? Yeah. Nothing. I had one problem. with like a windshield wiper motor. It. was simple. Do you get rid of them. because just it's time you get a new.

one? I get a lease. You get a new one. Yeah. Okay. So, it's not like you're not. like, "Shit, this thing's starting to. No. No. Well, they make them better. every 3 years." When do they peter out? What's the death of a good question? You. can get them, you know, that are many. years old. It's just their batteries. degrade slightly over time. So like if. it first comes from the factory with 340. miles, you know, after like five, six, seven, eight years, it's probably got. 280 miles or something like that, you. know. So that's all just efficiency kind. of goes down. Yeah. But but for driving. around town, like if you just take it.

into commute, it's easy. You just plug. it in when you go to bed at night. You. don't ever have to go to the gas station. again. Silent. They move faster than. anything you've ever driven. I mean, how. how quickly do you get a return on. investment? Because the amount of money. you save in gas has to be like I don't. know about that. I'm wondering about the. miles things. That's what I'm saying. I. remember like when I was a kid and you. remember this too like they would say oh. like Hondas are the best because you can. get 200 some thousand miles out 300,000. miles. I don't think that even exists. anymore that a car is supposed to I. think Toyotas you buy Yeah. You buy a. Tacoma those [ __ ] will last. forever. The reason I got the reason I.

got the Acura was because last forever. Yeah. My uh my buddy really Nick. Roshford. Shout out Nick Roford. Great. comic. And he uh he was like dude trust. me. He was like get an Acura. He was. like it'll last 250,000 miles. I'll give. it to my kid when he graduates high. school. Like just my friend Matt Farah. had a Lexus with a million miles on it. Yeah, that was the other option, too. He. said, "Get a Lexus or an Acura. Those. are the two that have the the greatest. resale value and also just the the shelf. life of the car." I got a Ram and a. Jeep. America. America. [ __ ] yeah. You.

know, Rams are like this and we laugh at. Toyota Tacomaomas. Get that little. stupid rice burner out of here. I've had. a couple of those Lexus SUVs, the 570s, LX. [ __ ] great car. Great. Comfortable as [ __ ] Big. It's like it's. so smooth. It never [ __ ] up. Never. They never have problems. Don't buy an. Audi. I'll tell you that much. Why? I. just totalled my Audi and it was It. wasn't the Audi's fault. It was a fender. bender. It was literally a fender. bender. That fender was going to That. fender was softened up by all the other. fender benders. Dude, I was like I was. like for sure this is just an easy.

repair. They came. They're like, "Yeah, this is total." Each headlight is like. $5,000. It's insane. How much is your. car worth? The car was I bought it at. 70,000 when it was new and then How long. ago was this? I had it for four years. and then it depreciated the it. depreciated in value to like $25,000. and the damage was like $22,000. Wow. Yeah. Well, most of that was to take off. the airbrushing you put on the side, you. Puerto Rican dumbass. That's [ __ ] It. was crazy. I was like I was so bummed. You know what's a really great value? If.

you want to get a car, get like a. Mercedes S-Class from like five, six. years ago. Still amazing. Honey, Mercedes S-Class. You order it for me. No, the old ones. An old car. Yeah, get. them from you can get them from like 10. years ago and they're [ __ ] awesome, but they're like super cheap, but. they're so well engineered and they'll. never break. But for like less than like. an Accord, a brand new Accord, you can. get an S-Class from a while ago. Well, I. thought about that. Is it possible to. get like an old Is there such thing as a.

brand new old car, old engine? What do. you mean? Like what car? So, can you buy. a brand new 2019 car? Like what do they. do with that one? 2019 is not even what. I'm I'm talking about. Like can you get. like a 1997 Mustang and then somehow get. a new that kind of motor in it? Original. like no computer, none of that [ __ ] in. it. Just like the one you could fix. yourself. You definitely can. Brand new. Yeah, there's companies that'll do that. for you for sure. They'll make a car. with a carburetor, the whole deal. Most.

of them don't though. Most of them use a. crate engine. So that what they'll do is. like they take an old car like a 68. Mustang and they put a Coyote 5.0 in it. like a modern Ford 8 cylinder Coyote. engine in it. Yeah. The new ones. So it. has like an ECU. It has like what was. like this little motherboard like you. program it you know and has electronic. fuel injection. I used to have a Grand. Cherokee that when I got out of the car. sometimes to start it I had to I learned. I had to get a hammer and hit a certain. part of the engine and then it would.

start. I think it was the starter. possibly. You had to clank it and it did. start. Why did you just get a new. starter? Why did you hit it with a. hammer? Broke. This is way back way back. in the day, too. So, I I got the car I. got the car from uh it was one of those. like. uh what do you call it? The auctions, you know, they repo cars and [ __ ] like. that. So, it was a piece of [ __ ] But I. would uh clank and get it start. There's. just nothing. When I when you open up. you could have a car for a year at this. point, a brand new car and open it up. and it looks brand new because it's not.

it's barely engine parts, right? It's. mostly computer. It's like a big plastic. covering over a computer essentially, right? You can't work on it. When you. say when you bring it in and go, hey, it's having a problem. They go, did the. light go? This happened to me last. The. light went away, so the light's not on. anymore, but it was there. They could. plug it in and find out that there was a. light that came on at some point, but. they can't do anything to it if it's not. happen. You know what I There's not a. thing where it's like there's this. clicking. It's probably a belt. Those. days are over, I think. Oh, really? I. think so. Hm. See, they seem confused by.

you going to bad mechanics maybe. It's. the dealership. Oh, okay. So, they. probably have everything connected to a. computer program and the computer. program talks to the to the the computer. that's in the car. I think that's what. you have to do. Every thing now. It's no. more like uh if we knew our my mom, Chuck and Larry. No, not Chuck and. Larry. That's the gay guys that got. married. Chuck and Al were like my mom's. too. Like uh Oh, now I think about it. too. She probably [ __ ] Chuck or Al. My. mom really both of them. Your mom? My. mom really threw the puss around to make.

sure we had what we needed when we were. younger. Not like in a prostitution way. Good lady. Yeah, it was a good lady. But. Chuck and Al was always our car. mechanics like for our car just you. know. Uh obviously to them they can't. even be in business anymore with cars. now. Well, there's a lot of people that. still have old cars. They want to get. them fixed up. There's a lot of people. that really just like driving analog old. cars, you know, but not enough for the. amount of like auto shop stuff. But. don't you hate when it's like a really. famous guy? Who was a Who's a famous. guy? He drives like an old pickup truck. I want to say Carlson does Christian.

Bale. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he drives old. Tacoma. Yeah, like an old Ford or Yeah, it's a Toyota. Yeah, I think Jimmy. Butler the athlete. But I just feel like. he's doing it to be like cool. It's. like, bro, you [ __ ] you don't need to. drive an old ass truck. I'll tell you. Post Malone showed up to a Shane show in. a [ __ ] muddy shitty big tires truck. and I believed him. Yeah. Does that make. sense? When he got out of it, I was. like, "Yeah, this is this thing, but. he's also got a Lamborghini and a. [ __ ] He's probably got a whole, you. know, most hanging out with country. friends or his black rap friends." He's. got one of those Raptors with six.

wheels. Yeah. Yeah. That's his Christian. bills. Same Toyota Tacoma since 2003. It. just bugs me for some reason. They're. bulletproof. Keeps the [ __ ] thing. Yeah. It's clean. It's not raggedy. But. those things last forever, man. They. really last forever. It's like if you. wanted a car that's going to last. forever that you can buy right now, get. a Toyota Tacoma. They're [ __ ]. bulletproof. They're so good. Yeah, they. they just re-released one of these old. timey looking trucks and it's like it's. like vintage look. I think that's going. to be another thing that starts. happening. It's like vintage looking. cars that are brand new. Toyota did. I.

don't know if it's Toyota or another. There's a It's a pickup truck that's. coming out that looks like an old pickup. truck, but it's brand new. Like a jerk. off though if you bought the novelty car. of the time. Anyone that's still rocking. a [ __ ] one of those like Union Jack. little like Mini Coopers or something, you'll be an [ __ ] A Fiat, you'll be. an [ __ ] Do you remember the PT. Cruiser in the early 2000s, late '90s. where they were like, "Hey, everyone. likes that Zezy Top car. Let's make a. very cheap version of that." My wife had. a Dodge Neon. That was maybe the. shittiest car that's ever been. mass-produced. I had a Dodge Neon. You. had you had to at some point. It was.

crazy. 14 bucks, dude. It was That was I. think it was $10,000, $100 a month, no. money down. Like this was like the. cheapest car ever. It was such a piece. of [ __ ] I think two companies ended up. making it. Oh, really? I think it. switched at one point from like Dodge to. something. Yeah. Remember the Yugo? It's. so weird. Yeah. Yugos or a Dodson? Was. it was Yugo from Yugoslavia? Is that who. made it? Is that why it was called the. Yugo? That was a garbage little car. It's amazing how many cars I've been in. that are now like defunct. They don't. make any Mercuries sables and [ __ ] like.

that. But I have no trust or belief in a. brand new like car that comes out. Well, Saturn Saturn doesn't exist anymore. Saturn was like a brand that everybody. had back I trust Hyundai now. Do not. trust Kia. Hasn't been long enough for. some reason. I don't know why that one's. Genesis. Genesis. I see. That's Hyundai. That's Hyundai's Lexus version. You. know, their high-end luxury version. It's [ __ ] really Oh, cuz Lexus is. Toyota. Yugoslavian. Yeah, you go. Yugoslavian. That was a garbage. Yeah, I. knew that from delivering auto parts. That car was like $5.

Cost more for gas than the car. What did. you take your driver's test in? Oh man, I wish I could remember. I think I took. it in my mom's Barracuda. My mom had a. 1970 Barracuda when I was think hums. Oh, it was fun. I was in a stick shift. Chevet. My mom's white stick shift. You had to. learn how to drive. That's good though. to learn how to drive and do a driver's. test on a stick. Like you really know. how to drive if you're a kid. It is one. it is one of those feelings though where. you're like uh even my daughter I'm like. it's a good skill to have driving stick.

and it's she'll never be in a world. where it will ever most likeary. It was. fun though. I had an Audi Fox that was. my first stick shift car. I never had. All my muscle cars when I was a kid were. all automatics. But I had an Audi Fox. It was this uh cool little [ __ ]. front-wheel drive shitty 1973 car. It. was great though. Like little. four-cylinder. It was like the first car. that I had that was little that can like. move around. It's like this thing's fun. and like learning how to shift. Everything today is just you you're.

barely connected to what you're driving. You feel like the shifting is the the. steering is electric. Everything's. everything's smooth. Back then you felt. the cars. Yeah. That's gone. That Well, that's why people like to drive old cars. still like to feel them, you know. Yeah. I would if I had the money, I would get. like something. That's why I said I. asked about the if you can do a new. engine in a car. You have money. So many. cars I miss. You could get a car with a. nice engine. No, you literally have two. brand new cars. You're not going to. lease. You're not going to Ram yourself.

You're not going to fix it yourself, right? So then find a mechanic, you. know, that you trust. Find, you know, ask around. Get a relationship with this. mechanic and get a [ __ ] cool car. That the same way your mom did, though. Not that way. Yeah. Not that way. Well, if I could. Um, do you have a car, Louis? What's like usually something I. dream? The dream the dream changes. When. I was a kid, Jaguar, the one with the. actual the the head the hood ornament. that was a Jaguar. I looked it up a. couple years ago. I wanted to get like.

it's like an old school Jaguar SJ6 or. something or whatever it was. Early. '90s. Yeah, early '9s. They were the. coolest cars I ever looked it up. recently and I found one for like N. grand. Like just it looked great. And. then I was going to buy it and then a. friend of mine was like, "Dude, you. literally to get anything fixed on that. car is crazy. Like you'll never find the. parts. Like it's just you're just That. is a tough one. When I was young, the. one that like the cool kids had that. you're like, "Damn, I wish I had that.". Was that boxy looking Mustang 5.0? Oh,

that was the one with the vanilla ice. The convertible. Yeah, that's the exact. one. Everyone they put the 5.0 rims on. it and the convertible and that one just. that was the one I was But talk about it. changing. When I was a little kid, this. was the one of the most hurtful fat. comments ever in my life. Um, when I was. like, "Sh, dude, when I get older, I. want to get a Mazda Miata." And they go, "That's going to be a [ __ ] roller. skate on your fat body." And I was like, "Okay, well, I guess I'll get past the. Miata." And now sometimes you see one on. the Roadster and I still go, "Damn, it.

is pretty cool looking." You ever seen. those Miatas that they do conversions. with? They put a V8 in them. Mm- Yeah. There was a company called Flying Miata, and they sold it to another company. that's in Florida that does it now. I. don't know what the name of it is, but. they take a regular Miata and they stuff. a big [ __ ] aluminum GM crate engine. in it and it's got like 500 horsepower. It's madness in this tiny little car. that weighs nothing. Just lifts off the. ground. But apparently they are a riot. to drive. They're like the most fun cars.

to drive cuz they're super light with. crazy power. And these new engines are. not that heavy. So it doesn't [ __ ] with. the balance that much. It's like. slightly heavier than the stock engine, but insane amounts of power and it. sounds insane. When when we were down at. a Nashville comedy festival, there's a. guy who used to work at the club who. pulled up in a like gold and blue um. Lamborghini. Lamborghini. And it was it. was just like the colors were crazy and. it had some writing on it and we were so.

curious about it. He won it in a sweep. stakes. He actually won a Lamborghini in. a sweep stakes. These are those cars. Like, give me some volume so we could. hear this thing. The Miata. Yeah, these. are the flying Miatas. Okay. That's not a Miata. I mean, it's just the front. This is the Miata. [Music]. That sounds crazy. Um, but there's a new. company that does it now. It's not them. And there's some better videos where.

they show like what the Who's driving. that thing? Cat Williams. Thing was hugging the corners. Imagine. if Cat Williams like enters F1, starts. winning races. Oh, you never thought I. could do it. F1's really like right in. the streets of a town. Yeah. In Monaco. They drive through the streets. They do. it in uh Vegas, too. They did it in uh. Canada. Oh, did they? In Montreal, I. think one year the festival was there. That was like they were preparing for. F1. Oh, wow. It's wild. They do it out. here, but they do it at the Circuit of. the Americas. That's what that neon sign. up there is. Our neon died, I think. Did.

it die? I think it died. But um that. [ __ ] racetrack out here, Kota, it's. awesome. Watching Formula One, there's. You can't imagine how fast they're. going. Oh, is that the place? Is that the I think I think I did one of. those rockfests there backstage or. oddball tour to me. Is that the one that. has the overlook thing behind it? The. the F1 track. Yes, that's one of the. talk about getting over a fear in one. day or I've never felt. So, it's got.

it's got a overlook thing you take. one. floor elevator just goes right up to the. top of that. Half of it's concrete, half. of it's glass. Very thick glass. But. I've never had this happen before. When. I got up there the first time, I was. gung-ho to walk out over that glass and. go. When I got to the glass part, the. glass is the floor. Yeah. But it was. concrete. When I got to the glass part, my I almost fell forward cuz my legs. stopped. Like my legs stopped moving. Like like. my body shut down. Be like, "No, no, no, no. We're not ready for this." By the.

end of terrified of heights. Yeah, you. should be Yeah, there it is, dude. That's [ __ ] And by the way, they. didn't have I don't think those red. things were there when I was there. Did I take the uh on top of the the this. this the needle in um the Stratosphere. in Vegas, the Strat? Oh, yeah. They have. like a roller coaster at the top. And. then they also have like you know the. the ride that goes straight up and then. just drops. I went on it with my son. My. son has no respect for me anymore for. this dude. Cuz I was sitting in the. chair literally just like they didn't. even start. They they they pull you up.

for like maybe five feet first and I. thought I was at the top. I was. screaming like a woman. Everybody was. cackling at me. My son was making fun of. me and they didn't even go and then when. they finally went up it was I mean I'm. so deathly afraid of heights. Even if. I'm strapped in. Oh my god, dude. I. could deal with that. You should be. I'm. afraid of falling. It's adorable. If. you're not, you're a freak. Those. [ __ ] those freak climber dudes. They're just freaks. Oh, the guys that. like like jump from building our friend. climbs like Mount Capiton with [ __ ].

just chalk. How about the thing that. Ralph did that in New York you can do? You can go to the top of some building. and they have a thing where it's like. they have you're you're like connected. to a line, but do you remember the D. show to you take a picture something in. New York where you're like feet are on. the building and you're hanging off it. like over New York City. Yeah, I [ __ ]. that up. Crazy. It's just like [ __ ]. that. I but I I'm not like a just for a. thrill. I would I maybe could have. gotten talked into skydiving young. Not. a chance. I've had some people try to.

talk me into it as an adult and I'm like. jumping. [ __ ] If my daughter's got to. tell the [ __ ] story. If my daughter's. got to tell the story of her dad dying. in a [ __ ]. wing suit or something like a jerk off. Brian Redband's dad was working at this. place. One of the people he's working. with is a skydiver and uh always trying. to get him to go. Come on, come with us. One day goes to work. They're not there. What happened? No, just didn't open. Didn't open. That was. a There was a great It happens. There.

was a thing called McCloskkey on Netflix. years ago. Was it a documentary? It was. in fact a documentary about a uh about a. snowboarder guy. He was like an extreme. sports guy and he died because he jumped. he like par he like base jumped into an. uh national park and when he landed he. was being chased by the rangers and the. cops to arrest him and he went in the. water with his parachute and everything. got caught up and died he drowned in the. water I believe then they did a a thing. on the news they did a they were doing.

like a base jumping you know for this. guy like in memorial of him like a it. was a demonstration it was like it. shouldn't be illegal. So what they were doing was people were. jumping, parachuting down, and when they. landed, it was almost like organized. The cops would then arrest them. They. were all getting arrested for doing it, but that was their protest that we're. all going to do it. You're going to have. to arrest us all. And then while they're. doing all that, just in the background, you just see someone go just like way in. the background. Oh god. It's like, yes, this is why this is stupid. Yeah. [ __ ].

all that. I I've never had any of that. adventurous [ __ ] in me. I've gone. skiing, which I feel like is adventurous. enough for me. Um, Ky Kennedy and Sunny. Bono, but it's actually really. dangerous, dude. Skiing is like [ __ ]. wildly dangerous. Just sometimes I was I. was in um Park City and you're just. going down the it's a really long trail. Like 20 minutes like just you're just. going and going and going. But there's. times where like I'm going to the edge. and all it takes is like just a little. less control and you just fly off the. edge of a thing and you're done. Oh.

yeah. How do cars not go off like up in. the canyons in the ballet every year? Like tons of them. They do constantly. Isn't that how Tiger Woods crashed? He. went off one of those cliffs. Didn't. Isn't that what happened, Jamie? No, not. quite. Not quite. I thought he hit a. tree. Um, there was one guy who was. tweeting. He was like a famous plastic. surgeon. He was like tweeting and they. they discovered that he was tweeting at. the very same area where he fell off the. [ __ ] cliff. So, he was just like. texting while he was driving and not. paying attention. He went off the side. I that's that's the most two in 10.

moment of my life when I'm going over. those like through the Hollywood Hills. like Yeah. I mean I really it's it's. crazy you could that you're able to. drive that close to like certain death. Yeah. Oh well how about the [ __ ]. drive up to San Francisco if you take. the coast. There's times where the left side of you. is just cliff. Yeah. the thousand like. famous places like in the world like in. just other countries where I mean I've. been to a few countries where you're. driving there's no rail your tires are. just like along the edge like almost.

hanging off it's [ __ ] terrifying. [ __ ] dumb other countries oh man so. countries where the only way to get is. these [ __ ] roads through the. mountains and sometimes there's boulders. that fell in the way and you got to move. the [ __ ] landslide and hope it. doesn't hit you while you're driving. amazing all years of driving for comedy. and how long I've driven. Never seen a. falling rock once. Not once. Sun's. falling rock. Never seen falling rock. anytime ever. I've only seen it on. Never. It's crazy. You've never hit one.

deer? I was in a tour bus to hit a deer. once. That was pretty normal. I I hit a. rabbit recently. Oh, yeah. I tried. though. Oh, did you? No. I thought you. meant with your foot when you killed. them both. No, I did. That actually. happened to me recently. I was moving my. lawn furniture cuz my [ __ ] Mexican. [ __ ] lawn care people never move the. furniture back to where it's supposed to. be. And I'm moving it back and I felt my. foot go into the ground and I heard beep. beep beep beep beep and these baby. bunnies jumped out of a bunny's nest. which apparently they're underground. I. had no idea. And um yeah, they [ __ ].

So Lewis reported those guys to ice. Piece of [ __ ] What a piece of [ __ ]. dude. Come on. They're just here trying. to live the American dream, dude. Uh. yeah, the one jumped in my pool and went. belly up and I thought it was dead. I. scooped it out with the scooter, threw. it in the garbage. My girlfriend was. like, "Are you sure it's dead?" I was. like, "I'm positive it's dead." It was. Did you try feeding it carrots? No, she. really did bring carrots out to these. little broken bunnies. I was like, "They. don't want your carrots like these." Did. they live? Stop trying to They did. actually. I thought they were going to. die for sure cuz I I called it was it. was on Memorial Day cuz And I called.

like um like a rescue an animal rescue. place and they were like, "We're closed. today. Call the cops. They'll come and. get them euthanized." And we were like, "No, I'd rather them die a slow death in. my backyard." And eventually they just. started hopping around. The one guy you. we call him limpy and uh he was just. [ __ ] pushing himself with one leg. And you should have glued their uh you. should have glued their hands to their. genitals and then hung them from. something and oh another autophixiation. gone wrong. Great. The guy from NXS, David Car and now these rabbits. So he.

either lived or a hulk came and got him. eventually. But do you think that some. of those auto exfixiation guys were. murdered and they were set up to be. humiliated and look that way? No, I. think Do you see now that now they try. to take the jerking off part away from. all those stories now? Really? Yeah. They don't want How many stories are you. reading that are autooticiation? But he's watch a whole documentary on. it. No, I'm my own documentary. Sound. Garden jerked off to death. Lincoln Park. jerked off to Anyone who hangs himself. You mean Chris Cornell? Yes. But he I.

don't think he was jerking off to death. Was it you? This is Jay's theory that he. thinks everyone theory. It's a strong. theory. Did you make it yourself? Yes. Who has clear evidence? There's no. evidence. You don't hang yourself from a. [ __ ] door knob that low when you're. not trying. They flash knock out while. they're doing it and then they just die. cuz they're being choked. 100%. They. pass out. That's it. Yes. 100%. You. heard it here first. And Lincoln Parkin. Williams. Robin Williams. They said put.

a note. But again, I think now the since. Michael Hutchkins from NXS famously did. that and David Keredine that was news. that made news they were they died from. that. How good could it possibly feel? Uh we during sex I've had people call in. choked out like why you're nutting. I've. heard people call in dude people say it. it mimics a lot of times former addicts. do it because it mimics like the feeling. of like the high like heroin. That's. what they said. But that's just people. who called in uh to say that. Who knows?

But because Michael Hutchinson and. David, it's like the first when you. think of their name before you think of. even in excess or any of the songs, you're like, "Oh yeah, he died jerking. off. Jerking off." David Car in all. those movies. Died jerking off. So now. they'd rather have you think they were. just depressed and going through it than. saying that because that's all you're. going to be known for now, right? See. the theory? It's not a bad theory if the. family can hide that information. Like. it's important that he was jerking off. He killed himself. The world doesn't. need to know he was jerking off while he.

killed himself. Well, you'd rather feel. that it was on purpose because he was. desperate and sad then he was such a. weirdo that he had to jerk off and hang. himself from a [ __ ] doornob. I heard. there's a conspiracy involving the David. Keredine one. I think David Keredine had. run a foul with some shady characters. except Yeah. Five venoms, dude. I think. it was in Thailand, wasn't it? In. Thailand or something like that where he. won. He's actually kung fu. Is it uh is. there a conspiracy theory attached that. we should call Sam trip the earth bring. HPV to finally.

he was kung fu when I was a kid when I. was a little kid he was the guy that was. doing martial arts on TV. Kane everybody call everybody. grasshopper back then yeah but getting. choked while you have sex rules bring it. back up I really hanging on it. was wearing fishnet stockings and a dark. wig when his body was found hanging in a. Bangkok hotel room. Grainy images. printed in the tabloid Thai Wrath. reportedly show kung fu actor suspended. from a clothing bar in a closet. Red.

woman's lange appears to be in the bed. adjacent to the body. Oh, this is. somebody who hated him. Yeah, this might. be right. Uh he Okay. Found with his. hands bound above his head and a rope. around his neck, wrist, and generals. How would one do that to themselves? Sore details of Kill Bill Star's sexual. life begin to surface as the photos. generated more questions about the. actor's mysterious death. That seems. like you couldn't do that yourself. unless you're like really ingenious. How. do you How do you bound? It says hands.

bound above his head. How you do that? And a rope around your neck, wrist, and. genitals. You need a really cool friend. How are you doing that? Oneinch punch. Oneinch punch. Dude, are you are you. pulling it tight with your hands? Wow. What? Okay. Yeah. What's [ __ ] that. Start getting carried away. Sorry. You. look like a real gross. Yeah, there's a. lot of accusations involving. He's. giving his wiener the old five finger. death punch. But I mean, if what are the. like standards of like in Thailand if.

they find you hanging wearing women's. lingerie? Do they really want to. investigate? They're probably like, "This guy." I don't want to touch that. It's icky. They probably like, "How is. he even How is it autooticiation if his. hands are tied up too above his head?". That's the weirder thing. I never saw. saw that before. Those hands were above. his head. That sounds like he got that. sounds like somebody walked away. Well, it's one of those might have gotten. carried away and somebody just left cuz. they were like, "Whoop!" Right. Like. maybe a lady was giving him head and. then he came and then blacked out and. she couldn't get him off the ropes so. she just split. Just [ __ ] booted out.

of there. Not like Lincoln Park and. Sound Garden were just jerking to each. other's music. I don't I think some of. them are just depressed. Dude, Bourdain. was just depressed. But who hangs? There's so many people hang faster ways. to take care of this. They don't have. anything around them other than a rope. and they it's an impulsive decision. And. it's also like a a romantic way to kill. yourself. It's like who's got rope? You. don't need cord. You need cord. How. about the guy your jizz sock from all. your autoerotic sophiciation? The guy.

that was connected to the Clintons that. hung himself with electrical cord then. shot himself in the chest with a shotgun. from 40 yards away. Yeah, it looks a. little sus as the kids like to say. If. you had to kill yourself, Joe, how would. you kill yourself if you had to? Well, gun is definitely the best way, right? Cuz it's quick. Hey, what if you shoot. like your front lobe off and don't do. that? Don't do put it in your mouth like. a real man. That was the [ __ ] Richard. Jenny. Richard Jenn. He missed. Yeah, he. missed and died later. Yeah, he died in.

the hospital. Oh, that'd be my biggest. fear is like shooting like just angling. it wrong and then just I saw a video of. a guy who did that with a shotgun. He. just took off the front of his face and. was blind. Lived. Yeah. Life is now. worse. Richard Jenny takes his life. Dave Kuier never even tried to take his. own. Richard Jenny was funny, dude. Very. funny back in the day. He was the. [ __ ] man. He was depressed that he. never w up being a movie star. He wanted. to be like he wanted to be the next Jim. Carrey, you know? He did. Yeah. He got.

close with the mask and they said it. just made him more bummed. Yeah. It's. crazy because he's like to us all the. comics back then he was the guy you know. he was well he was on all those shows. Were you doing comedy at a time? Did you. do you have performances on like A-list. and uh Standup Spotlight or VH1 those. things? Yeah, I did a bunch of those. Caroline's Comedy Hour was a big I did. that. I did um MTV Halfour Comedy Hour. That was Paulie, right? No, that was. Paulie was totally Paulie. MTV Halfour. Comedy Hour was uh another show they.

would do. You know, you do like 10. minutes or something. I forget what the. time was. VH1 did one of those with. Rosie O'Donnell kind of hosted them or. something. Yep. Yep. Those seem it. seemed like it was a pretty fun time in. comedy. Comedy was pretty polluted with. like a lot of same old same old. Yeah. uh at the time. But I mean like what a. time to kind of like that's why it was. funny when when I was opening for David. all those years he couldn't get a grasp. on like the change that I was. experiencing that he cuz he was kind of. like after 3 years like you want to go.

with me to this club again and I'd go. absolutely and he go you headlining this. place yet and it's like it doesn't work. like that anymore cuz he's from a time. where they said if you got an hour of. comedy together then you to that's what. they say when you tour that hour of. comedy he goes you can't just do that. like he places the book you well Dave. before I mean back when I started this. 21 years ago like people would just have. their act you remember Seinfeld's. documentary where he was like he's like. I'm going to get rid of my act after 20. years and have a new hour it's like. that's what everyone does now the. standard of comedy has changed so much.

but I feel like was always like that he. would turn over he was very prolific um. no no for sure I'm saying he didn't get. that like it changed that now you have. to be able to sell tickets right to get. book places for it wasn't just like well. you're one of the comics who has an hour. in the country there was a time where it. was that it was like these guys just I. think it was like the two coasts really. was all of it you know I mean then the. internet I think really opened it up to. the rest of the country and it's like. saturation yeah you used to be able to. go to clubs and build a market so you. just keep returning you turn like once a.

year and after a few years people would. come to see you like oh big Jay's coming. he's really funny we saw him last time. San Fran Punchline stress Factory are. maybe two of the only clubs that really. I know there's more oh the the. Providence Comedy Connection let me go. there and have enjoyed watching it be. like, you know, giving me a couple. hundred for a weekend to change over the. years. I opened for you. You made $600. for the weekend as the headliner. Yeah. Yeah. They give you a chance and if. you're good and they know you're good. and they give you a chance that people. trust them because they got a long. history of booking good comedy. It's.

like, who's this guy? Is he good? Ah, let's take a chance. Right. But there. but places got afraid. I remember that. that hurt so much. I opened for Steve O. when he first started doing comedy uh. standby performing uh and I'd done DC. improv with the tail and stuff before. and I did that weekend and I hate when. you go hat in hand to places and you get. bad news. cuz I remember going to the. booker there who was like someone who's. like so friendly to me now and she's. great you know but like it was so hard I. go hey just I'd love to come back and. headline are you like an off weekend. when people don't want to do Fourth of. July Thanksgiving whatever and she goes.

yeah I'd love to but you don't sell any. tickets so it's all about selling. tickets and she's kind of laid it out. like that and I just thought it was I. was like well how do you I didn't even. know how to start making that happen. when we started like Legion of Skanks. and stuff. Well, podcasting sort of. created an opportunity for comics to the. best. Yeah. People, they know us. They feel like. they're really like sitting here with. us. Well, they really are, right? And we. talk like this if we were in the green. room. The difference between podcast and. everything else is we're really talking. just the way we talk. Yeah. You know,

but everyone also gets mad too it like. what the thing is besides stand up that. makes it happen, whether it's podcast, internet videos. I've learned also to. stop having that cuz people get a lot. too much wrapped into that. like there's. a social media comic or there's a. whatever it goes buddy I don't know my. ex-wife does comedy and people ask me. like are you mad that she does comedy. like I can't judge why anybody gets. involved in it I got involved because. somebody suggested it to me it's crazy. to even want to to care it's like who. gives a [ __ ] say why'd you do it go oh. cuz I was having funny tweets so I. figured I'd give it a shot like okay.

that seems like a good enough reason as. anybody else starts the first decade you. don't even there's no path like what is. the path to like even making money. you're just doing it blindly going like. I hope something happens eventually. People get mad because I think there is. a path now to making money very quick. and people are doing it and so it's that. it's the Howard Stern used to [ __ ] on it. was that famous thing with him and Ari. shing on the idea of podcast but when. people were shitty about that I always. understood his anger at least I don't. agree with it but I understand when he. did the well his anger didn't make sense.

because he was already super famous. No. but his argument was saying I had to do. AM shift Yeah. 2 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. uh in. this shitty town and I had to do this. and I and I played music until they. realized it would be better to let me. talk 10 years later, you know, and he. and he went through all that then it's. just like well you could flip on a. switch and if you have an audience. already or connected to somebody who has. an audience like you're doing it already. like you're just doing it now. Well, also the difference is we all hang out. with each other and do each other's. podcasts whereas those radio guys all. [ __ ] hated each other, right? Like.

Howard Sterns. Yeah. They would talk [ __ ] about each. other all the time. Anthony used to have. uh what was it? Uh uh Jotoberto where. they would just find shitty radio shows. and they would have their fans torture. them for an entire month. Oh, so funny. Brutal. [ __ ] brutal wrote. Yeah. Cut. It was Doesn't have to be, right? Because it like you could only be the. one big radio guy in Philly, you know, and if Stern was coming into Philly and. if they were going to open up like a. syndication thing, he was going to talk. crazy [ __ ] on the big guy in Philly,

whoever it was or whatever city it was. I do feel it's interesting watching. I. wonder if this happens with every. generation. The comedy dollar gets. stretched though because it is kind of. funny. Not that it necessarily hurt. I. think the now with like having these. kind like sham I'm opening for Shane at. some of these arenas and stuff. It's. amazing. He's getting like 18 20 some. thousand people into these places and. doing it. Um one that's very difficult. to like think of new jokes when you're. doing comedy like that all the time. But. Well, you do clubs for sure. No, I do. clubs. No, but I mean you have to like a. Shane will do clubs also. Oh, no. For. sure. But I'm just saying like a ticket.

to see someone in an arena is was before. they'd be able to see everyone they. loved was coming through the improv or. whatever and then a couple were doing. theaters, right? Like now it's like it's. a [ __ ] night out at like a sporting. event to go see comedy where it's like. they might not have the money next week. to go see me or Lewis at a club. I think. it has changed. It's interesting in that. way. Well, there's some people that just. don't want to spend that kind of money. to go to an arena anyway and they'd. rather go see someone in a club. Sure. It's a better experience. That's how. comedy is supposed to be. The best. experience though in an arena is in the. round. In the round is like it's like a.

giant club. It's like a giant club cuz. the people on this side are watching the. people on that side laugh and you're all. laughing at each other. It's very. intimate weirdly even though there's. like 16,000 people. The comedy the only. comedy I don't love at all of the three. things, clubs, theaters is theaters. Theaters is impersonal from the crowd. enough and also personal enough that. they you could still do bad. They could. turn on you with theater. Um, possibly. if you're not the person they're there. to see or even if you know what I mean. There was like a Nick Schwarzson thing.

there where he they he turned on him. Well, he was lit on edibles. You could. remember what the [ __ ] he was talking. about. My point being my point just. being they weren't with him no matter. what. Like they did turn on him. Something about the arena. And again, Shane's doing an hour at these things, which is impressive as hell. For the 20. minutes I have to do, it's like how. could this go bad? Like it's just if if. anyone's laughing in there, it sounds. like a million people. Shane Shane had a. guy open for him. I don't want to trash. the guy. I heard it was a sound issue. though, but he just like, dude, he just. started getting booed. Dude, getting.

booed out of an arena is crazy. I mean, you have to feel like it has to feel. like being like you're getting the same. reaction like that the visiting team. gets when they go to that arena. It happened to a comic. Kill Tony Arena. shows too happen somebody will do two. jokes in a row that bomb and then the. crowd's like, "Fuck this guy." And then. it's almost fun. I think it's cuz people. are in that environment. They think it's. fun to do it. TJ when TI got booed. something when he was doing comedy like. at a big arena. Oh, yeah. Well, it. wasn't, you know, he didn't have it.

tight. You can't do that. You can't just. jump into, you know, but you just lose. him. So like Damen Lemon, very very. funny comic. He did like the hot 97. Summer Jam comedy thing and like they. turned on him hard and when it turns it. turns. The most famous one of all, Bill. Burr on the traveling virus tour, Opie. and Anthony back in the day in Philly. Well, that's because they had turned on. Derrera before. Yeah. And then he came. out. Yeah. He said, "Fuck this crowd.". And he spent 15 minutes just [ __ ]. It's one of the most beautiful moments, legendary moments in comedy. So, I'm.

from Philly and it's one of my favorite. lines ever about Philly that is. indicative of that town that I love is. he says, "Joe Frasier is from here who. beat Mike T or beat Muhammad Ali. No. statues to him, no nothing. And you have. a statue of an a fictitious Italian. heavyweight. Yeah. Like you piece of. [ __ ] threw batteries at Santa Claus. [ __ ] this town. It's a classic. And he kept rattling off. seven more minutes. Yeah. Like I know. That's funny. He had to quit that tour. because everywhere he went then they. would start booing him because they'd be.

like, "Do Cleveland now." No. Yeah. That. was like a That was like This is before. viral videos were happening like that. and it was such shitty grainy footage. Um, but that's when I I mean maybe my. first year in comedy that happened a. couple years in and you're just seeing. that and it's like it's such a comics. moment where you're like yes just. [ __ ] Well, it's a big p it's a big. moment to have in comedy. I said a few. of them when you when silence doesn't. scare you anymore or just the mo just I. could talk into a microphone especially. for 15 minutes under any circumstance.

You know what I Like it'll suck if it's. a terrible you got they're already. booing. Go out in the very beginning. There's no one there. But like I'm not. afraid of the moment. That's a big. that's a big thing to get over and. that's what you know being scared for. the moment. When your head do well. overseas the first time I was like do. they even understand English here in. England? The first five minutes if. you're doing a headlining stuff that's. not going well and you're like a [ __ ]. it's going to be another hour. God damn it. Are you a long time guy or. do you try to do like uh like when you. headline something? I do an hour. an.

hour. Yeah. Especially if I'm on the. road. Yeah. Always. I don't really have. an hour right now. So, I'm like putting. it together. I think last night I did 50. minutes, you know, and like some of it I. keep forgetting my new stuff, you know. It's a lot of new stuff cuz it's all. since August. Sure. You know, and I took. a couple months off where I wasn't doing. standup at all. I was like, let me just. refresh my brain. And then I hopped on, started doing other people's shows. Then. I had some old bits that I'd never put. on the special and I started bringing. them back and piecing it together. But. it's like you got to have a real set.

before you take that [ __ ] on the road. You can't think you could have like a. club 45 minutes and go do an arena. Like. if you're going to do an arena for an. arena for sure. You got to have a real. set. It has I work out in the clubs on. the road. Have to particularly I mean. like but it's Burr said that back. preparing for a special really. Burr. said that back in the day where he was. talking about someone special and he's. like he didn't do the clubs and he's. like he's right like this person like. some person's they start doing theaters. big theaters they do real well and they. just keep doing that only same opening.

act every time crowd wants to see them. and you develop like a it's like a soft. act yeah it's not good yeah not good you. need clubs man you need Yeah but. Austin's great for that as well so you. what you did down here is you um you got. a you've cultivated like comedy fans. that want to the edgier [ __ ] They want. to hear [ __ ] up jokes. New York and. LA, they don't really like if you're. just going on a random popin set at the. stand or the seller or the comedy store. into some random show and they don't. know who you are, you start doing [ __ ]. up [ __ ] they get very tight, very.

tight. Like down here, like you go in. the main room of the mother ship or at. the creek. I mean, these they're comedy. fans. They're like legit. It's become. like a comedy destination. Kind of how. like, you know, people go to New Orleans. for jazz. Well, this town doesn't seem. to feel like it has the same. responsibility to like correct bad. behavior on stage that New York has and. LA has sometimes. Like they'll they want. to let you know that you're out of line. They don't want you talking about a. certain subject. It's like, did you. think there was going to be when you. opened the club, did you like foresee.

the dissension stuff that happens just. within the scene? the people that don't. work there bitching about that it's for. this reason and the people who it's a. walled garden and everyone goes they got. in there because of this and I'm not in. there because of this it's a they have a. walled garden perspective you see a. bunch of people having a good time and. you're not involved [ __ ] those people. it's normal it's a natural reaction that. people have to like this intimate. community of people that are all friends. that are having a great time it's normal. to hate it you but it's not all wild. comedy there's a lot of like really.

clean comics that come here that kill. like vetion own is [ __ ] pretty clean. He's hilarious sometimes. He's hilarious. and murders at the club. He's a beast. He's a beast. But it doesn't matter. It's just funny. It's just whatever kind. of funny you're into. Holtzman comes and. destroys. I'm not saying I'm not I'm not. even saying the booking is like. onedimensional anyway. I'm just saying. that did you even foresee there be. comics that were going to be eventually. like club sucks anyways. I don't hear. about them. You stay away from stupid. I.

guess it doesn't make its way to you. They wouldn't. That'd be stupid. You're. going to have people that complain about. anything that they're not involved in. They're going to decide it sucks. Like, how could it suck if you've got two days. of open mics? How could it suck if the. comics get paid more than anywhere else? How could it suck if it's entirely set. up for comedy? How could it suck if it's. super supportive of the comedian? It. gives them a path. What is the path for. the young comic in Well, there's a real. there's a real talent coordinator. You. know, Adam Eaggan is a real talent. coordinator. He sits there and he. watches your set. He gives you advice. He'll have you come back and do it.

again. and he'll give you spots on. certain shows. They start developing. comedians and it's like any anything. else like you know this business is. about being likable and getting people. to want to watch you succeed. Yeah. Where it's like you'll get your. opportunity if you [ __ ] if all the. other comics are like, "Yo, this guy's. funny. You should take a look at him.". I've seen that happen directly. Um can I. get the lighter again? Yeah. Well, we we. have it set up for development. Like the. whole idea is like you want to develop. new talent there and Kill Tonyy's the. best vehicle for that ever. You know, if.

you have a banger minute on Kill Tony, you could become a [ __ ] star. And if. you could reproduce that every week like. 59 times. Kind of crazy that some of them have to. do that, you know? I mean, it's it's an. incredible writing exercise. It's kind. of we the advice that I would have given. a young comic, you know, 15 years ago. I. was a young comic at the time, too. But. it's like I like do not be on camera for. the first decade that you do comedy. Develop and act first. But now a lot of. these guys just they have the. opportunity. It's like be detrimental if.

you really eat [ __ ] on it and you're. like a three-year college. I don't think. people remember people bombing on Kill. Tony where it'll be detrimental to your. career. It could be. But, you know, if. you bounce back and have a great set the. next time and the people love you. I've. seen that happen, too. Look, it's you're. taking a risk when you're doing a new. minute every week. There's a real. possibility you might have a dud. Yeah. You know, especially if you're new to. the game, you've only been doing it four. years. You got some talent, but you. know, I genuinely don't know. I It's an. interesting. thing when I had to do it. Uh. essentially at Madison Square Garden.

Yeah. You guys were there. It's an. interesting thing. They try to whittle. down in your head like what the [ __ ] is. on a minute. Yeah. Yeah. But they were. all pumped to see you so it was easier. No, of course. That's an arena. atmosphere too. It's like it's our game. to lose. The garden I think was like the. best arena kill Tony show. Like it was. like it was really cool. I went both. nights and uh whatever it was like they. were just the the crowds were so lit on. watching those shows. Like nobody got. booed. There was no problems. like super. supportive. Super supportive. Well, some. people got booed. There's some people.

that bombed. Did they? Yeah. Couple. people. I think one someone went right. before me. Yeah. A couple people bombed. It's Look, it's [ __ ] hard to do, man. And it's fun to watch someone just go. out there and fail sometimes. Just It's. what makes the people It makes the. people that succeed look better. When I. do Kill Tony as a panelist, I love. watching somebody bomb. It's my favorite. thing cuz then you just trash them. You. get to [ __ ] make fun of them. That. was I thought that's what when we. started doing the show I I've been on. I've been a panelist on Kill Tony I. think I might have the number one amount.

of times like 25 times I've been a. panelist and when we started doing it. like back in the day in the comedy store. in the the belly room um the most fun we. would have is when somebody just had a. hot one and then we would just [ __ ]. trash them. It became way more. supportive now like the whole show. format is like really like Tony trying. to put guys over but back in the day we. were just mean. It was just like a mean. evil [ __ ] thing. So fun. Yeah, it. evolved. Those belly room days were wild. cuz you know like half the crowd would. be like comics. Yeah, it was there was.

no one there. It was fun. They But he. kept doing it. I mean, he [ __ ] did it. over and over and over again till he. honed that [ __ ] down like a. samurai sword. Yeah. No, I'm super. impressed with it. Like, you know, Tonyy's Tony's the man, but that show. itself is like I think it's inspiration. even for like Story Wars, you know, very. different show. It's just the idea of. like the live the format and like Yeah. Yeah. That's uh you know skanks has. always been a live show but the. development of story war has been very. like well it's also easier when you have. a format like we literally just set the. table and then play and it's like we.

don't have to really do much when you're. on a podcast like this or like skanks. you have to actually kind of like be a. little bit more present and like just. sort of like you're trying to connect. with the comics in a different way when. we our our we do it's like a game show. that we created and uh it's just super. formatted so it's just kind of easy to. just plug and play funny. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you guys by doing Legion of. Skanks, just by the name itself, it like. opened up the door to wild comedy. because it's like you know what you're. getting into. It's the show's called. Legion of Sk. This was a brilliant idea.

that Jay had like our our secondary. tagline is the most offensive podcast on. earth and it's not. There's more. offensive podcasts, but it lets people. This I think this reason we've never. gotten in trouble is because you know. exactly what you're going to get, right? It's cra like for anybody to complain. Why would you watch this if you do don't. want to watch the most offensive podcast. about you look like an idiot if you. start complaining about it. Exactly. Adam Crawler had a great analogy about. it when he did our show. He said uh he. like this is what you guys why you guys. get away with it. He's like like when. Snoop Dogg goes to the Grammys, Snoop.

Dogg goes backstage and he lights a. blunt and nobody's like you can't smoke. back here. It's like you invited Snoop. Dogg. You know what the [ __ ] you're. going to get, right? And it's the same. thing with us. I think people know what. they're going to get with us and we sort. of just, you know, play and have fun and. do our thing. Well, you give a an avenue. for comedians that's like, you know, we're where people know what they're. going to get and and obviously people. flock to it. I mean, Skankfest sells out. immediately. It's because people love. the vibe. It's fun. It's just fun. We're. we're not here to take ourselves. seriously. Also, broadcasting has done.

something for comedy. It's pretty. amazing that I think broadcasters like. the Howard Sterns, like had that all the. time. It's very interesting when you. meet the people. They know you inside. and out. They know the time you told a. story about the thing you fear the most. and they know whatever. And I had to get. used to stuff like that where they'd be. like, "Hey, did your daughter picking a. college?" And you go, "The [ __ ] you?". I'm like, "Oh, I guess I" And you're. like, "Oh, I guess I talked about that. on the radio this week." Yeah. So, it's. interesting. It's weird. You can forget. that there's an audience out there. sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you. forget sometimes the things you say have.

weight to them, you know. No, absolutely. We found out the hard way. when we started out. Who knew what this. was going to happen when we started. Legion? We started Legion of Skanks. pretty early podcast times not think. about it 14 years ago. Don't you think. even now sometimes you say things you're. like I shouldn't have said that. No, unless. I don't unless it's about a person like. sometimes it's about people. That's what. we learned. We learn to stop making fun. of [ __ ] children on the internet cuz. they have families. Well, we do. sometimes, but I've had to apologize to. multiple families of mentally.

handicapped people cuz we've done bits. on the show and I mean we've gotten in. where they they would come to me and be. like like what is wrong with you? There's like a child that has like Down. syndrome. We're like we had no idea that. they but then they get on the phone with. Louis and they're like I didn't mind. It. was funny. The problem is Didn't that happen? Didn't someone say to you kidding? Well, no. The uh twice now that happened and. both times I ended up becoming very. friendly with the family. They came out. to see me at shows. They brought the. kid. No, now he's your burden. Because. that's the problem. The problem is like.

you're saying things with your friends. like you would normally say, but then. you don't realize. Ron Bington calls a. corner talk. Just corner talk with the. guy. But there's a real person on the. end of these stories sometimes. And. that's the thing. The only thing that's. changed is I think in the beginning we. would just say whatever. There'd be a. silly story and now I'm going like, well, all right. Is this person going to. hear this? And it's just a normal person. who's like their parents are raising a. special needs kid. This is a tough. enough life as it is. Oh yeah. I felt. terrible. Last time I came in here when. you talked about I was like, "Hey, you. know, was that video going around that. girl freaking out?" And I was just going. like, "Yeah, it's just like she wasn't.

ready for this moment, but I went. through didn't say the name on purpose.". And there's so many videos on the. internet. They're like, "Jay takes a. [ __ ] on this girl." I'm like, "No, it's. not what I did." Well, yeah, sometimes. you say things cuz you're just talking. and then you realize like, "God, that. other person's going to hear that." I. did that recently and I I'd like to. apologize to this guy. is this guy named. Flint Dibble who's an archaeologist and. I said he attacks other archaeologists. like Graham Hancock and he says some. terrible things but what I did was very. counterproductive. What I said was like. these weak [ __ ] men and I named him.

I'm like and then he tweeted about it. He said I have stage four cancer and I. like [ __ ] forgot he had cancer. I. didn't mean him physically. I meant his. behavior but it it made me feel bad. So. guy's got a [ __ ] body. I was wrong. Uh. it what I said I shouldn't have said. I. there's sometimes I say things and I. just think I'm talking with friends and. I realize it's going to hurt someone's. feelings on the other and it's. counterproductive. Like I'm doing the. exact thing I'm accusing him of doing. He's attacking other people. I'm.

attacking him. It's stupid. And you can. be funny with anything. You don't need. to like but I wasn't even being funny. I. was talking to an archaeologist. I just. get m I got angry at this process that. sometimes like established. archaeologists are attacking these. people have legitimate ideas. But I I. shouldn't have done it that way. And you. just arch one passion. No, it's like I, you know, I talk about a lot of. different things, but I talk too often. like I normally talk. Like sometimes. when you're talking about like a serious. thing, like you probably shouldn't. insult people. It just it comes normal.

like [ __ ] that idiot. You know, like it. comes out. Sure. And you go, "Ah, yeah. Shouldn't have, you know." Yeah. We do. that all the time. You get loose. You. get a little too uh comfortable talking. Can I tell you also that's the smart. move I said that Howard Stern did years. ago that I'm trying to get better at and. do. When you think something's. ridiculous, praise it and then use it. and you could show everybody without. having to make fun of it. Do you know. what I mean? Oh, right. Right. They'll. make fun of themselves. That was the You. definitely do that. Well, I do that.

sometimes when I'm questioning people. and I know they're not telling me the. truth and I'll say, "Wait a minute. So, what you're saying is," and so I don't. even have to like say, "That's. ridiculous. That's [ __ ] [ __ ] I. just let the internet have it, you know? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like Epstein. didn't kill himself, you know? Like that. kind of a deal. Like, okay. You know, like, let the internet deal with this. I'm not gonna deal with this. This is. like I could only be so uh pushy. You. know, when people don't want to talk. about a specific thing or want to give. you an an an answer that you think is. pretty much gaslighting you, you're.

like, "Okay, so that that's a real UFO. All right. that you might, you know, I have people. come in here all the time that I know. are bullshitting me. I know they are. like I I feel it, you know, and. sometimes it's just like, all right, you. just What are you going to do? You'll. call them sometimes. Sometimes, but like. sometimes I don't know. Who was the guy. years ago you had an argument with, but. it was again sometimes when vernacular. causes the problem. I feel like at the. time you were just like in a rhythm of. saying the word [ __ ] at the end of a. sentence a lot and you said something. you go you're like, "Come on, [ __ ] You.

can't think that way, bitch." And he was. like, "You're calling me a [ __ ] or like. you're pulling the [ __ ] out of me." Who. was that? Was it Crowder? Oh yeah, that's right. We were It was a weed. conversation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I thought I was talking to him like. a comedian. Like he would just go along. with it and he got genuinely offended. And I was like, "Bitch, I think you're. bullying me." Yeah. We said he we were. bullying him because we were like. researching information live that was. countering what he was saying. It was. trying and he didn't have access to it. I was like, "All right, you know, whatever." So he's being a real [ __ ] I.

was trying to be a good host and I. wasn't, you know, I was being too like a. comic. Like I could talk to you that way. and we would have fun. I could talk to. you that way. We would have fun. He. wasn't. He was a little serious. [ __ ]. You can call us a [ __ ] all day. Problem. is some people just if you're choking me. while I jerk off whatever you want. Some. people just get serious and you don't. realize they're serious. Like, oh, you're serious. Like you're really. upset. Okay. Cuz we're so used to. talking [ __ ] It's so normal. Like when. people talk [ __ ] about me, I'm like, I. would do that.

like what am I gonna do? You're too. famous to not you can't get offended. You're you're so big at this point that. it's just part of the territory. That's. part of the problem with saying things. like about that Flint Dibble guy. You. don't think about it while you're saying. it like you're saying it to millions of. people. Yeah. It's like it's not just. talking, you know, and you're like guy's. dusting off a raptor bone and you just. see a tear hit it cuz he's listening to. you in his headphones. That guy's a dumb. idiot. I genuinely felt bad. My raptor. bone. But it's like I actually didn't. have a bad time talking to him. We had. to confront him on this one thing cuz he. accused Graham Hancock of being attached.

to white supremacy and and and this like. weird thing about Atlantis like how does. that have anything like and he tried to. deny it and we pulled up the quote that. he did because Hancock says no blacks in. Atlantis. No, this is like this thing. that these people do when they try to. discredit things like certain academics. will do where they'll connect what. you're doing to racism or homophobia. They just try to like virtue signigle. their way into a position where. everything you're doing is wrong. And. it's the the thing about Atlantis is a.

weird one. It's like it's apparently at. one point in time there was some white. supremacist that like was pushing the. theory of Atlantis being this great. white race, but that's not what any of. the people that are legitimately trying. to research it think. They think it was. in subsaharan Africa. You think black. people are going to let their hair be. wet all the time? I'm no archaeologist, but I am a [ __ ]. What do you think Atlantis is? You think. they get in the water? Oh, isn't it the. underwater. city of Atlanta? Yeah. What an idiot, right? I didn't think that either, John.

We're talking about the Bahamas. Atlantis, they believe, was this. structure. There was a series of. concentric circles that had like a lake. running through it. It's like really. fascinating because there's this place. called the Reishard Structure in South. Africa. And this is another one of those. things that archaeologists will argue. about because this thing looks like. Atlantis and there's this guy named. Jimmy Corsetti and he gets labeled a. Nazi for talking about it's like weird. stuff man where they try to make you. look like you're racist for pursuing. this idea and the people who defend that.

if you defend a person for defending. racism you're defending racism and it. becomes this whole stupid argument that. nobody really believes and it's only. exists on the internet nobody in real. life gives in academia they they believe. it and if they don't believe it they use. it as a tool and they'll use it as a. tool to dismiss you. But this is the one. of the things that came up during that. co topic that when even archaeologists. come up with a new timeline for things. where it throws the old history into a. tizzy, they attack them like and they we. Graham Hancock brought up this concept.

of Clovis first. They used to think that. the Clovis people like 13,000 years ago. were the first people in North America. And this one guy found evidence of. people that lived a long time ago. And. they [ __ ] ruthlessly destroyed his. career. They attacked this guy. It. turned out he was right. And they found. these footprints in White Sands, New. Mexico. They're 22,000 years old of. human beings. So they were probably. living here even before that. And but. they destroy people that come up with an. idea that throws their expertise into. question. And that's what they're.

they're all doing with Graham Hancock. They what they do is he's pointing out. that there's some real evidence that. perhaps there was an advanced. civilization that was thousands of years. older than we think civilization started. at no crime and only three-pointers. Well, it is in Africa. That's the. fascinating thing. It's all in Africa. Egypt's in Africa. You know, this all. this subsaharan stuff where they think. the reshard structure Let me show show. them what it looks like. It's crazy. because the area when you zoom out looks.

like it was hit with a massive flood. Like everything looked like all water. erosion. Like it was like massive. amounts of water just destroyed the. landscape. It still looks like that. today. And it's in the exact same plate. Like it's it's the mountains are north. of it. The seas below it. That's what it. looks like. And that is like the size. that Atlantis is described in in in. Plato's recollections of it or Plato's. stories about it. You know, there's a. lot of debate about it, but the position. that it's in and the weirdness of what.

it is makes a bunch of these ancient. history guys that really believe in. Atlantis, just like they really believed. in uh Troy, they thought it was they. thought Troy was mythical until they. found it and then they're like, "Oh, geez, Tro Troy was a real thing.". So, um, there's a lot of these people. that are the gatekeepers of academia and. they they don't want anything to be. dated older than what they've. established and what they've taught in. lectures and cuz everything's wrong.

then. Everything's wrong. Well, everything is wrong. There's weird stuff. like Lebanon. Have you seen those those. [ __ ] stones in Lebanon? Um, no. there. There's these immense I think. they're called the trilithon stones or. the trillion stones. They're so [ __ ]. big and they're supposed to be somebody. moved these from a quarry and placed. them in place and you look at them like. how h how long ago and then there's. older stuff. There's stuff that's built. on top of it. Look at the size theory.

works here but I think it's a. bronosaurus that a man is controlling. Balbeck. That's what it is. Look at the. size of these [ __ ] stones. And if. that one up in uh the top in the center. right to the right of that Jamie that. one. So that shows you the size of these. [ __ ] stones that are in place. Like. if you put a person next to them they'd. be like these are 5 m high. That's. [ __ ] bananas. How many miles per hour. is that? I don't know. 5 25 ft. So those. are 25 ft high. 15. Oh, sorry. Three. It's three, right? Yeah. Sorry. My math. sucks obviously. But these stones weigh.

some [ __ ] insane amount. And there's. no explanation. Those cornerstones, that's all one giant piece. And where? How? How the [ __ ] did you do that? And. there's a bunch of [ __ ] in Malta. They. found Neanderl bones. So maybe. Neandertols were in Malta. And maybe the. land bridge was connected. And there's. all this confusion about the date of. these like ancient structures. It seems. like people built other structures on. top of them. And when they find stuff. like this, there's like this great.

resistance of anybody to try to like say. they don't understand it. They always. try to come up with some sort of an. explanation even when it doesn't make. any [ __ ] sense. Wasn't the uh the. coliseum, wasn't it completely. underground at one point? They they. discovered it. No, no, no, no. This the. Sphinx was underground. This but the. head was above it and then they cleared. out the sand. The coliseum was You came. off stupid as [ __ ] there. No, I don't. think it was underground. No, no. The. coliseum has always been there, but they. did used to be able to get water in it. They used to have water fights that have.

boat fights in there. It was crazy, bro. Imagine really cool [ __ ] Watching. people get eaten by lions in front of. everybody. Imagine what that was like. Well, back then, you understand they. didn't like they would have these games. and they would bring in like like, you. know, they would have like hunts and. they would have like animal fights and. [ __ ] like that. But it's like back then. to see a giraffe it looked like an. alien. Like they didn't they they had no. idea what they would bring in animals. from Africa like rhinoceros. Yeah. These. people didn't have YouTube. They were. traveling. They had no idea. It was like. it literally like you're watching aliens. fight. Have you been to the coliseum? Yeah, it was incredible. Did you see.

those things where they lift them up. through the floor and then the lions pop. out? A whole They had under underground. They have a whole pulley system where. like they have elevators and they would. have slaves like pulling people up and. it was a whole show. It was a really. cool thing. I appreciate you saying. slaves. If they had that right now, if. they had that right now, we would watch. it. If there's something on YouTube like. I've already seen, have you seen the. night fights where guys dress up in. armor and beat the [ __ ] out of jail? Harrington Harrington doing he does the. commentary for it. He's like the Joe. Rogan of night fighting. That's so. ridiculous, dude. [ __ ] They hit each.

other with battle axes and [ __ ] Oh, a. scepter strike to the leg. But it's like. they look tough and then they take their. helmets off and they're just [ __ ]. virgins. It's like just these really. nerdy fat dudes. Preemptive balling. Some of them know how to fight though. I've seen ones where guys take guys. down, leg kick them. They're MMA guys. that are getting into it. It's just. another like outlet, another outlet. Part part of the floor of the coliseum. was buried until the mid 19th century. Oh, you were right. There you go. I. knew. Yeah. One. gian floor lay buried under 40 ft of.

earth. All memory of its function even. existed. What is is that the floor that. lifts up? Is that what that is? Yeah, the floor. There was stuff sticking out. of it. And then they went and they s. they they uncovered that there was like. an entire underground system like all. this [ __ ] It was actually all Did. someone cover it up? Wait, did you go. back to that description, Jamie? Because. I think it explained that someone. covered it up. Well, I mean, they. destroyed most of Rome, so I'm sure it. was part of it. I wonder why they did. that. They were using all this [ __ ] for.

my the the tour that I did of the. coliseum was boring as [ __ ] Mousolini. fixed it. The guy wasn't all bad. What. were you saying, Jamie? What' you say? They were using the pieces of the city. for construction or whatever else they. were building, new stuff, you know. Same. with like the the pyramids, you know. People shoot Mussolini. They go, "Unini, what a monster." Should. I go clean the floor of the coliseum? They did that with the pyramids. They. stole the [ __ ] stones from the. outside of it. Yeah. Well, I People are. so gross. Yeah, it was crazy. Well, remember the Trevy Fountain a few years. ago in Rome? They they poured like black.

ink in it or something. Just protesters. It was like the And they literally had. to drain the fountain and it took like. however many months to clean it. It was. [ __ ] up. The coliseum architects made. changes to allow new methods of. stagecraft. Other changes were. accidental. Fire sparked by lightning in. 217 AD gutted the stadium sent huge. blocks of travertine plunging into the. hypogum. What? That whole area is so. nuts, man. 217 work. How do they have. those facts? Colosseum was really cool. I learned more about it. I did a uh like. a gladiator training program with my.

son. They have like it was like a little. like place you went and I learned so. much about the coliseum doing that more. than the tour. The tour was boring as. [ __ ] I went in like August. It was 110°. out. It was insane. Um, he's. aggressively trying to make his son. straight. But that was that was a cool experience. Like that's [ __ ] cool as [ __ ] man. They didn't kill each other. The. gladiators. Like that's all like that's. all lies. It was none of that because it. was like pro wrestlers. If your. gladiator killed another gladiator, the.

uh the guy who owned that gladiator. would have to pay the other guy who. owned that gladiator. They're all. slaves. So it was all just show. It was. like pro wrestling. They would cut each. other, but they had like big like fat. bellies, so they wouldn't cut each. other's organs. They do had to like do. it in a certain way. It was all show. Really? It did happen once in a while, but that was more rare when you'd see an. actual death. So, occasionally they. would fight for real to the death. I. don't even Yeah, I'm sure occasionally. they did. Where did you get all this. information? From my gladiator training. program. Really? Yeah. The guy's. certified.

I mean, what are you going to do argue. the guy? like like the different weapons. and the costumes they would wear and. like the type of armor they would wear. is like there there was like you know. whatever like you know a couple dozen. different types of guys and like oh. that's the guy with the [ __ ] mace and. like a certain helmet and it was like uh. it was free as well all the people in. Rome there wasn't a ticket price the. government would sponsor it so it was. just to get people like you know keep. them happy and [ __ ] the richer you. were the closer you were like all the. peasants would be up in the rafters. right but uh so the movie Gladiators.

[ __ ] is. It's [ __ ] There was no thumbs down, thumbs up. What? What a common. misconception that gladiators always. fought to the death. The winner survived. and the loser died. Very rarely and. usually with special dispensation from. the emperor would there be a sign miso. battles which automatically meant death. for the loser with no chance of being. spared. So occasionally they died. Yeah. Very rarely they died. But they were. like celebrities. Like the gladiators. would come out and they were like, "Wow." Some historians say, "Oh, wait a.

minute. One in five died in battle. That's a lot. Others say 1 in 10. Most. only lived to their mid20s, which. compared to Tay's Well, they would die. of their injuries very often. Not be it. wasn't like it was fight to the death. They just didn't have medicine like. Yeah. They would get stabbed and get. infected. But Gladiator 2 was right. though, right? But that I mean when he's. talking about the water, they would fill. it up with water and have boat fights. That was a real thing in Gladiator 2. Oh, I see. No. No. I'm bummed out. I. thought they really fought to the death. like every time. Yeah. Yeah. God damn,

dude. Well, I've got bad news about the. WWF also. Oh my god. Then you know what? I might. as well pull the band-aid off if we're. already here. Wrestling also. But it was. Yeah, it was like akin to pro wrestling. Like they would have like personalities. and people would like, you know, that. was a problem in Japan in the early days. of MMA. Some of the fights were fixed. You could tell and you could tell like. certain guys would win by leg lock. Stomp and they'd have professional. wrestling like promoters do those MMA. fights. What does it say, Jim? is. describing the animal hunts they did,

but I I'll skip ahead to this part here. Hibian played a vital role in these. staged hunts, allowing animals and. hunters to enter the arena countless. ways. Eyewitnesses describe how animals. appeared suddenly from below as if by. magic, sometimes apparently launched. high into the air. The hypoima allowed. the organizers of the game to create. surprises and build suspense. a hunter. in the arena wouldn't know where the. next lion would appear or whether two or. three lions might emerge instead of one.

Yeah. Out of those like trap doors in. the bottom, a lion would just jump out. and then and you're watching a dude like. hunt lions. How cool is that, though? This uncertainty could be exploited for. comic effect. He goes, "Guys, I'm not afraid of no. [ __ ] ass lion. I [ __ ] a lion." He's. right behind me, isn't he? Emperor. Galanius punished a merchant who had. swindled the emperor, selling her glass. jewels instead of authentic ones by. setting him in the arena to face a. ferocious lion. When the cage opened, however, a chicken walked out to the. delight of the cloud the crowd. Glennius.

then told the herald to proclaim, "He. practiced his seat and then had it. practiced on him." The emperor let the. jeweler go home. Whoa. So, they let. people So, it wasn't that killed him. days later. They were less mean than we. thought. Yeah. Yeah. It was still pretty. brutal. Well, it was [ __ ] brutal time. to be alive back then, man. Dude, one in. five got to live. Relax. Maybe one in 10. Maybe even one in 10. No big whoop. I bet a lot of dudes were. sliced up, though. You ever see those um. Nazi dueling scars where the Nazis in.

the like when they were in like military. school, they would have duels with sword. fights and they their faces would get. slashed up and that was like their badge. of courage. So all the Nazis that came. over for NASA, they all these like crazy. Nazi dueling scars all over their faces. You ever see those? Bro, it's so creepy. They do the [ __ ] we do now in arenas, too, with like t-shirt guns. Snacks fell from the sky. Snacks as. abundantly as hail, one observer noted, along with wooden balls containing. tokens for prizes, food, money, or even.

the title to an apartment, which. sometimes set off violent scuffles among. spectators struggling to Nothing changes. today. Nothing. There used to be a blimp. that would go around the Sixers stadium. and drop coupons for hers potato chips. And I've seen people fall off of. balconies for them. It was as hot as a. boil room in the summer, humid and cold. in the winter, and filled all year round. with strong smells from the smoke, sweating workmen, packed in the narrow. corridors and the wreak of the wild. animals and no bathrooms and all. Did. people just [ __ ] in the holes? Well,

they always did. You know, where would. you go if you're hot and you're drunk? And everybody's got the plague. All. right, boys. Should we wrap this [ __ ]. up? Sure. Yeah. Let's bring it home. Thank you so much. Are we in Are we. officially in the Rogan sphere now? Yeah, you're in. Come on, man. You were. always in. All right. You said it here. So, you were always in. What the [ __ ]. are you talking about? We just don't see. each other enough. Please watch my. specials them day. Both available. They're awesome. Anything you got? Uh. yeah, check out story. It's mine and Big. Jay's new podcast, Story Wars, which is. great. And uh yeah, I got a book. actually. You know what? I'm You wrote a. book? I'm writing I'm almost done with.

it. It's coming out December 2nd. It's. pre-sale right now on Amazon. What's it. about? It's uh my childhood memoir. Oh, wow. Yeah. starts off with the What made. you want to do that? Uh a dude who wrote. other books was like Knives and Spoons. Yeah. A memoir. Yeah. He was like, "Uh, hey dude, I can get you a book deal.". And I was like, "Really?" And then I. started working with him on it. And. yeah, it's just it's been good. It's. dark. It's funny. It's [ __ ] up. It's. about just my [ __ ] up childhood and. finding comedy. I always admire someone. who can write a book. Yeah. Like I. always admired Norton. He's written a. couple of books. Like damn, he wrote a. whole book. Like actually wrote a book.

Norton's a man. Norton's in town right. now. Yeah. Yeah. He's here uh Friday. He's doing Story Wars tonight. Nice. Where are you guys? You guys at the. creek? No, we're at your club. Oh, you're my club. That's a little Joe. knows about his own club. What time is. it? This is our p 7:30 and 10:30. Why. don't you come, Joe? Why don't you come. on Story Wars? Oh, I don't have any good. stories. I used them all up. I used them. all. I've had 2,500 [ __ ] episodes. I've used them all up. You don't need. good stories. I'll tell you all. There's. going to be something goes once on an. archaeology journey. I'm like, "Oh, this. is Joe. This is definitely Joe." I think.

I think this one's Joe. One time I was. talking to the director of the CIA. He's. like, "Well, that must be Joe." He took. out a black bear from a helicopter with. a crossbow. I appreciate you guys. Thank you. It was. a lot of fun. Thank you. All right. Bye, everybody. [Applause]. [Music].