Joe Rogan Experience #2306 - Deric Poston
Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe. Rogan Experience. Train by day. Joe. Rogan podcast by night. All day. So, we were just looking at a song in. the security cameras in the [ __ ] gym. with a stupid haircut. Why? Hilarious dude. One of the best. One of. the best. Fantastic. And getting better, man. All All the time. He's He's a guy. who's always working. Nobody writes more. new stuff. He writes a lot. That guy.
puts me on my ass because I always, you. know, we've been we've been best friends. for the last 12 years. So, I've been. watching them this whole time. And since. we met, him and Brian Simpson, they put. you to work. Yeah. That's important cuz. if your friends are slacking, you're. like, I can slack off, too. Yeah. Or you. feel like, oh man, I'm better than my. friends. But when your friends are like, every time I see them, I'm like, dude, I. saw you yesterday. You have two new. bits. Like, and they're good. Yeah. How. the [ __ ] But his one of his bits is his. [ __ ] hair. It's HLiff's. Hcliffe [ __ ] keeps.
encourage like keep it going, keep it. going. He does encourage it. And I told. you he's getting mad [ __ ] with the. hair. Sh. Don't say that. Oh, he's going. to [ __ ] up his [ __ ] No, you're right. You're. right. You're getting mad [ __ ] Really? I thought I thought we were having a. wonderful There's nothing funnier than. when your friends um pull you aside to. complain about a girl that's like. putting the cuffs on him is the best. Why don't you do things? Why don't you I.
heard the haircut. Why don't you Why. don't you cut your hair better so you. don't get. You take comedy serious. You don't take. me seriously. Look at Look at his hair. Oh my god. He's the man. Look how smooth he looks. though. He looks dressed nice. Smooth. He's headlining La Hoya this weekend. with you, right? Yeah. Yeah, we're doing. it next week. Next Thursday. Oh, next. week. Next Thursday. Yeah. Going back. And then we're doing the belly room, too. Headline the belly room the next. night. Oh, nice. [ __ ] La Hoya is one. of the best rooms in the world. Yeah, that La Hoya room is fire. If you get it. crushing in there. Oh, it's a It's a.
box. It's a literal box. It's a kill. box. And he's cheating with his hair. He's cheating. He's cheating. The these. I want to say the jokes, but these these. hair jokes are just too good. Well, they. go People lose their mind. They lose. their mind. It's unfortunate because. they think he's looks way better with. his head shaved. He's a goodlook guy. He's a good looking guy. And since you. got got him in the gym, he's his chest. is filled out. His his back straighter. I love when I come here and you two guys. are in the gym and you're you're by. yourselves. No one's pushing you. I love. it. I love it. The only thing cuz that.
we do every single thing that that we. did back when we were working out, but. other than some days that we look at. that cold punch, we're like, "Joe, you're a [ __ ] psycho. Get the [ __ ]. out of here, dude. Not getting in cold. water for you today. I'm down to work. out tomorrow if you guys want to do it. Of course. All right, let's do it. Hell. yeah. We'll get a good old school one. in. Yeah, we'll get a old school one. I'll get in the cold one if you if we're. if we're all doing it. That's I need we. all to be doing it. So, my friend Sean. who uh trained Alex Jones is now. training Shane. He's going to start. training Shane. I heard about he put. some I told Shane does so don't let him.
kill you. Don't let him kill you. Makes. you back him off a little in the. beginning. These [ __ ] psychopaths. Yeah, I remember when Assan did it with. him the first time. Sean, he got him to. do it. I couldn't I was out of town with. Schultz and Assan called me and goes, "Bro, I threw up twice and I go at the. end." He goes, "No, at the beginning." I. was like, "Bro, get the [ __ ] out of. here. You got to build up to that kind. of stuff." That's the thing. Like Sean's. in great shape, you know, and some, you. know, if you're if you're used to like. coaching Navy Seals and you're like, "Come on, [ __ ] We got to go." You.
know, like carry the [ __ ] log. Who's. going to carry the boats? That's one. thing. But when you're a guy like Shane. and you're on workout on again, off. again, on again, off again. Like you. can't hurt the guy. Like you got to like. start slow. Yeah. Like when we when we. started working out, what we do? We. start slow. Real slow. I mean, you were. teaching us how to use the kettle bells, let alone going super hard at it. Whereas now, you know, me and Assan have. upped our weight because now we we've. done it so many like the rhythm of. kettle. Oh, dude. I'm excited for. tomorrow. But I was going to tell you. this about Assan's hair.
That's back to it. ever seen him with a. security camera go, "What the [ __ ] are. you doing?" I literally just he looks. like a [ __ ] psycho. I can't believe. people love it. They love it. When he I. never forget this. One night I'm working. the back door of the comedy store and. this is when Theo Vaughn had just he. went from he went from a guy we all knew. to he is now Theo Von and I'm sitting. back there and he pulled in and we're. just kind of hanging at the back door. and he goes, "Derek, let me tell you. something, man." He goes, "I was getting 2,000 a.
weekend before this hair. since this. mullet I get about 40k a week in and. walked off and I was like man am I. supposed to get a yeah I literally was. like I don't know what I'm supposed to. do you know what though it's true but. it's not true so it's true that when the. haircut. came on the weekend but it's also like. the haircut freed him to beat Theo. Vaughn like do you remember when the I. remember very clearly the first time I. ever saw Theo and he was doing a about.
being on not even a bit. He was telling. a story, a true story about when he was. his when he was young, his father was. really old. Like his father had him when. he was like 70. Yes. Yeah. Something. crazy. And he said he remembers being on. acid lying next to his father while and. realizes father's just dying. You know what I mean? Like have you ever. been around someone who's like reallyund. years old? Oh yeah. They feel like. there's no life force in them. Yeah. And.
they're almost trapped in their mind. because Yeah. And he's on acid lying. next to him. I was like, "Whoa, this. guy's weird." Like, "What a what a weird. set." And then, you know, he was talking. about all kinds of other stuff, too. But. it was really fun, but it was. interesting, you know. And then I. remember seeing him about a year, a year. and a half later, and I couldn't [ __ ]. breathe. I was just crying, laughing. My. cousin got bit by a gay guy, so we'll see. I was just like, "What the [ __ ] are you. saying? What the [ __ ] are you saying?".
And it was it was the timing and the the. the the just the material was like all. over the place this weird way. I love a. guy like that. Yeah, I agree. You're. right. It wasn't the mullet might have. just been the little touch, but he was. already. need something like that to make you. feel different, you know? Like may like. some dudes I think like dressing nice on. stage because they feel different. Or. Bert likes to take his shirt off because. he feels different. Bert could do the. same set with a tuxedo on. It would be.
the same fun. Yeah, it would be the same. fun. This just makes him feel free to. take Let that [ __ ] gut hang out and. show everybody he's willing to drink. himself to death for. you. Like he's a [ __ ] gladiator, dude. But they love it. But I do get. that feeling of like being free on stage. and truly Yeah. Cuz that does separate. yourself too of like, "Oh, this is how I. am." Yeah. You got to learn how to do. that some way, right? And some people. it's alcohol and some people it's the.
way they dress and some people it's weed. and some people it's, you know, they. have to run, they have to jog before. they do a set. Yeah. I remember seeing. Eleanor, she would do dips. You'll catch. her in the back of the whole and just. she's just cranking out dips and then. she goes up. But then you see when she's. up, it's like, "Oh, that energy had to. just it was just coming out of her.". Yeah, it's coming out of you. Now, also, you want to get your heart rate up a. little bit so your body is like and your. mind is like things are flowing really. good. You don't want to be like sleepy. and then go on stage, right? That's the.
worst thing in the world. Or a full. meal. Yeah. And go on stage. You want to. be You want to be up a little. I heard. Bill Burr say something, but he's just. one of the greatest ever do it. But it. always made me go, "Damn, cuz I always. felt that way." Like, "No, I wouldn't. eat before meal. eating before a show, wouldn't eat. And then I heard him say. once, he was like, "Oh, I used to not. eat before shows." And then I got older. and I'd [ __ ] have a Thanksgiving. dinner before a show and go up and talk. the whole set about how I had a. Thanksgiving dinner and how [ __ ] fat. I am and how gross we all are in. America. And it was just like that. freedom of like, "Wow, he really doesn't.
give a [ __ ] this guy." He Well, Bill is. also amazing at being Bill. like, you. know, like he has he has his opinions, his what he thinks is stupid about. something and he's just like locked in. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like there's. no like some comics like you'll see one. of their hours and it's kind of like one. kind of energy and then the other hour. it's like kind of a different kind of. Well, Bill Burr is Bill Burr. I'm Bill. Burr. I'm Bill Burr. He knows how to be.
Bill Burr. He's professionally Bill. Burr. You know what I mean? Like a lot. of people couldn't even do his material. It would just like wouldn't work. No. And it it would sound like hateful. This. guy [ __ ] hates the world, too. But. that's just the magic of becoming, you. know, you right. Like there's a few like. a tell is the absolute best at it. A. tell has a timing and a presence and. then the material, the way it's written, like a lot of it on paper, you'd be.
like, "What is this? I don't understand. how this would be funny." But you see. him do it in real life, you're like, "Oh. my god, you're just crying." Yeah. And. when the crowd is more ruckus, he he's. better. He's in on the corniness of some. of the stuff, too, which makes it even. more fun. It's like there's many layers. to it. And, you know, some of it is just. like just brilliant observations on. things. Some of them is com completely. ridiculous. You know, it's it's just all. but it's woven into David and he'll pull. out a [ __ ] recorder. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Let's play the flute. It's crazy, bro. When we saw him live, I was so. [ __ ] impressed. At the I was so. impressed. I was like, that is so good. You know who's another one like that? Colin Quinn, man. When he was here, pro. You see him live, you're like, "Wow, that was so good. Just so fun. You. forget how good he is." Yeah. And then. you're learning [ __ ] You're like, "I. didn't know this." Yeah. He's He's like. a history wizard. I remember we did cuff. tough crowd once and uh Colin used to do.
standup to the crowd before the show. would start before we'd sit down and do. tough crowd. He was doing the warm-up. for his own show. He was doing the. warm-up for his own show this one time. I don't know if he did it all the time, but he was murdering. Murdering. And I. was watching this. I was like, people. don't know how good he is. Like this is. crazy cuz like there's some guys they'll. warm up for their show and it's like a. monologue. They're doing a few jokes. It's like it's okay. It's okay, but I'm. not in it. I'm not really feeling it. with him. It was like I was at a club. I.
was like dying laughing like I was at a. comedy club. I was like people don't. This is like there's a few of these guys. that just never got good at promoting, you know, and they're really good. Yeah. And the interesting thing is the really. good ones are not bitter that they're. not as famous as they deserve to be. Like is like the least bitter guy alive. Yeah. He's so cool. Not even remotely. bitter. Always friendly. Yeah. He'll. talk to Open Micer all day. Sweet, peaceful, like he's as present as you. can get. And uh he's infinitely less.
famous than he should be. He He should. be selling out arenas all over the. world. He's that good. Wow. He's so. good, dude. He might be the best comic. alive. There's like a few in my mind. that are like in the running for that. Like who is the I guess there's no one. best. It's it's it's it's you always. have to consider Chappelle. He's the the. goat of our generation. He's the most. prolific. He has social impact. He's. hilarious and silly and he's a.
sweetheart of a person, too. So, you. have to think then, but then I go with. like sheer RPMs. I got to go with Joey. D. Sheer RPMs where you just like I How. many nights were we in the back of the. comedy store? We couldn't we couldn't. even couldn't even talk. You couldn't. breathe. You're not even laughing. anymore. wheezing. Everybody's just. wheezing, making wheezing noises and slapping. things, man. I remember back that era. seeing him and I and how people feel. about him now, whatever. But at that.
time, man, when Crystal Leia was on. stage in that main room some nights, it. was mind-blowing the RPMs, the just the. amount of laughter and how fast would be. like, "What the fuck?" Yeah, he could. kill. There's um there's a magic to that. thing. I think that's hypnosis. I've. always thought that. I've been like for. a long time at least. I I'm like, what. is happening to me when someone's on. stage and they're killing, you know, like when Shane when Shane's on fire, what is happening to me? I think I'm.
like locked in with their mind. I don't. think it's as simple as I'm watching a. show or something like that because I. love like watching a funny movie, you. know, Tropic Thunder, something like. that. I love watching funny, but I don't. feel the same way I feel when a guy is. in front of me on stage doing standup. And I think as great as specials are, they're never they're like 60 to 70% of. being there live. Yes. Always. I think. there's something about being there live.
that's like is hypnosis. There's something going on where that. that person's making me think the way. they think. Yeah. When someone brings. you into their world and like you said, you're just living in it and you're not. even thinking about your you're just. like I'm living in this guy's Exactly. essence right now. Exactly. You're. you're living in this person's. imagination and this person's work, right? Cuz like they set this set up. Yeah. And they danced it around their. head and they wrote it down on paper. That's the other interesting thing about. what we do is like no one has there's no.
like one way to do it. I always say my. way to do it, but you know, I don't. think Bill writes [ __ ] down. I think he. keeps it all in his head. Yeah, Dave. mostly keeps it all in his head, too. Schultz does that, too. Yeah, like. that's the Jay-Z thing, too, right? Jay-Z kept it all in his head. Little. Wayne, they didn't they just And it's. insane. They're releasing It's not like. they're releasing one album. But who's. the best writer? Nas Nas wrote. everything down. You can't write rewind. in your head. No, you can't. No, it's a.
story backwards. It's a story backwards. It's another level. That's another. level. That's like him pulling his dick. out and just. like slapping that [ __ ] on the table, right? That song is when you want to say. like writing like I I challenge anybody. in the world who's got a better written. song than Rewind from Nas. That's a. great take. I would agree with that. It's crazy. It's perfectly fluent. backwards. It's insane. It's a language. It's fluent backwards. It's It's magic. It's like a magic song. Yeah. It's so. And it's And while you're watching,
you're like, you're appreciating the. fact that he pulled it off. Yeah. You. know, like while you're listening, you're appreciating the fact that he. pulled off this song backwards. Yeah. It's impressive to watch the different. ways people do it. I mean, I'm biased. because I'm tour I tour with him, but. man, when I'm out with [ __ ] Schultzy, dude, cuz people just see him come up. with that 10 minutes up top, you know, like he'll go we'll go to Abu Dhabi and. you just see it, right? But man, you. don't people. I get to see how he gets. there and it's be he gets to town and no. matter where we are and all he does is.
he just talks to people and he doesn't. say anything. He just he gets a random. person who's lived in wherever we're at. for a long time and he just lets them. and you just and you just see him kind. of like and his eyes will light up when. somebody says a certain thing and his. eyes will light up and he's like, "Oh, okay. Oh, that's going on. Oh, then what. do they think of this? Oh, what are the. time?" And he'll ask a couple questions. and he'll do it and I'm not talking. about 30 minutes, Joe. He'll talk to. somebody for 3, four hours before the. show and just soak in all the culture. and all the information and then you see. him go on stage and it's a full flush. 10-minute chunk about a place. He's a.
special talent. That's he's a special. talent. Yeah. I've never seen anything. like that. Yeah, he's very special. And. you know, and it's also like you got to. realize he's doing these jokes in front. of 16,000 people for the first time. He's got a new joke and he's busting it. out in front of 16,000 people about. their area. Yes, bro. That [ __ ] he did. in Hawaii about the chickens being so. confident. Oh my. god. Joe, it was I was the black guy. We. got out the van and he saw the chickens. run up to me. He's like, "These chickens.
are too confident, dog." He's like, "Dere they don't know Derek." And I were. dying. And then cut through. It's a form. bit later that night and it's like this. guy is incredible. And that's that's. another example like what is he doing? How's he doing that to that crowd with. those great jokes? Like he's like he's. locking those people in ear. You're. letting him think for you. Like, come. on, man. Think for me. Let me have a. good time and think for me. Yeah. And. not only that, but you're talking about. my own personal experience in Hawaii, right? And now you're going into your. set and you're you have me. You have me. completely wrapped around. Yeah. You're.
a pro. It was insane. He's um he keeps. getting better. It's I mean, he was good. when I first saw him a few years back, but man, he just keeps getting better. Well, like you said earlier, how to see. people do different. hours in different life. people forget. he was like the first guy to really. capitalize on the pandemic with his uh. videos where he essentially created a. completely new kind of standup, right? So it's standup without the pauses that. you would require if a audience was.
laughing. So he's it's more rapid paced. like he thought this through. Dude, this. is like a genius thing. Those things. turn your phone sideways. So that's what. you used to have to do back in the day. kids back 5 years ago. All you [ __ ]. 15y olds when you were 10, you didn't. know about this, but you when you turn. your phone sideways and then it would be. it would play out in wide format. And he. would kind of do standup with images and. with punchlines and it was [ __ ]. great, but it was a way faster pace than.
he does stand up on stage. It was like. the punch lines and then you this and. that and I'm like, "Oh my god, he. figured it out." He figured out how to. make like really compelling standup for. someone who's not there. Well, it's like. a it's like a a late night monologue. from one of those late night hosts, but. like a real [ __ ] doing it and. really giving their actual opinion. Exactly. Exactly. It's genius cuz like. that was an example of someone. innovating in like a crisis like there's. a situation that happened. You're forced.
to everyone, you know, some like during. the pandemic some people just curled up. in a shell and decided I'm not leaving. my house anymore. Yeah. And then some. people like, "Okay, what can we do? What. can we do?" Okay, I'm going to figure. out how to do stand up in this little. video format. Turn your phone sideways. And then everybody started sharing them. And some of And then Netflix does uh a. thing, you know, Andrew Schultz Saves. America. Andrew Schul saves America. Yeah. Yeah. Which uh I don't think you. should they should get their money back. because he save America. How dare you?
Yeah. Some of those people are still. trapped in their house. It's crazier. than ever right now, dude. But yeah, he he did I mean with even. with Clint with Clint it's him. I give. him that credit of like, oh, he does it. all the time. And he also, you know, because his stuff is local and a lot of. it, um, like these opening bits that he. comes up with are you you kind of have. to get them out now. Yeah. Right. Some. So he can just release them on like the. [ __ ] when uh he did the P Daddy thing. when he went to LA. That's just in P D, brother. Brother, he.
wrote that [ __ ] 10 minutes before he. walked up into the forum. 20,000 people. 20,000. He wrote it and it was the cra. me and Mark Gaglin are sitt there like. holy [ __ ] how did he come up with this? We were just hanging with him. That's so. funny. He's in the groove. You know, AG1. has been a longtime partner of the show. and I'm excited to share a great offer. they have going on right now. You can. get a free month supply of AG1's Omega-3. supplement and a free bottle of D3 K2.
with your first subscription order. The. omega-3 soft gel supplement complements. AG1, making it easy to get the fatty. acids you need. While the D3 K2 liquid. drops can help provide two essential. vitamins, they're made with high quality. ingredients following the latest. scientific research. And together with. AG1, they work to give you the nutrients. and minerals you might be missing from. your diet. If you haven't tried AG1 yet, they're bundling it with their Omega-3.
and vitamin D3 K2 products for free. So, it couldn't be a better time to start. Subscribe today and get a one month. supply of AG, Omega3, and a bottle of. vitamin D3 K2 with your first AG1 order. You'll also get their welcome kit with. everything you need to get started on. your AG1 journey. So, make sure you. check out. drinkagg1.com/joan to claim this special. offer. That's.
drinkagg.com/joan. It's sort of like um. when you have a muscle to do something. and you do that thing all the time, then. you just get better and better and. better at doing that thing and then you. get in the groove like you like we were. talking about like a tell like Theo, like when someone gets in the groove of. who they are, you know, like like Tony. is on Kill Tony. Perfect example. That's. an unrealistic. He's locked in. He's in. the groove. He's been doing it so long. He knows when to dance and when to. pause, when to ask a serious question,
when to get goofy, when to let the the. the panel know. It's pretty impressive, man. If you can find something like that. to do in your life, you will have a much. better life than if you just get a job. And I know that's not for not everybody. can, but if you can, you definitely. should. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you definitely. should do that. Being excited for every. day and nervous and anxious and and oh. this that feeling I mean I to not have. it. I can't believe people go I don't I. get having you got to go to work you got.
to make money but the idea of like man. never that feeling of anxiety and. looking forward to something and oh and. and it not going the way you planned and. so you got to go the next day and figure. out what went wrong and like I love. that. That's what I love about standup. The figuring it out the math of it all. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's a great job, man. We're so [ __ ] lucky. Yeah, dude. We're so lucky. God, you've been in it. long enough to see everybody. Did you. see this thing Damon Wayne said about. you? Yeah, he said he stole one of my. jokes. Yeah, I went to talk to you about. that. But the way he said it, I've never. seen someone say, "I stole a joke." And.
I He was like, "Man, I I got He said I. saw it and then I actually realized I. stole Joe's joke." And I was like, "Oh, I got to stop watching motherfuckers.". It just stuck in the back of his head. But I know you give him his flowers, so. it's like, "Oh, I know that guy's not a. joke." Like, no, no, no, no. That. happens, man. Sometimes you you think. you came up with it but somebody else. did and you heard it and you forgot. That can definitely especially if it's a. subject that you never cover and time. has passed and then this subject comes. up like something comes up and you. you're like and almost like David's the. best at that. He'll call you up because.
you have to check sometimes like hey. have you heard this you know like you. have like he's the best at that. Dave. does that all the time. Like you got to. check every now and then. Like this one. seems too easy because the memory is. weird. You know, memories are weird. You. ever go back to like your old. neighborhood where you grew up and. you're like, "This house is way smaller. than I thought it was. It's all. different. The driveway is different. Everything's different. Looks weird.". You know, your memor is shitty. It's. good. I mean, it keeps you from [ __ ]. picking up the wrong spider. But, you. know, I mean, it's not it's not a.
photographic representation of reality, and that's a problem. And you guys have. been doing stand up 20 years. How many. bits have you seen? Just seen too many. bits. Yeah. So you can And then you know. there's parallel thinking. There's a. lot. But you know when someone's a thief. and Damon's not a thief. I always said. that Damon may he might be one of the. most underappreciated comics ever. because like when he was in his prime, you got to realize he was like, you. know, if you're looking to today, he was. like Chappelle. He was like in this that.
same level of recognition as being like. one of the best guys alive. But then. they got him with those TV shows, man. And movies. He wanted to be Last Boy. Scout. He was going to be a movie star. He did that big Bruce Willis. And it was. a good movie. Yeah. And then it looked. like he was going to be a movie star. after that. I mean, he had some great. like blank man where he's a [ __ ]. super. That was so ridiculous. Try doing. that today. You couldn't do that. When. he used to do Handyman on Living Color. Oh my god. They might be one of the. greatest families. The the Wayne's.
family. For sure. Who's Who's number. two? They're number one. They might be. one and two. Joe, I I don't know who. like what other families are there that. are like big show not in comedy. What. other family? Am I missing something? Am. I forgetting somebody? I mean I know in. Living Color was so big. It's like them. and then the Scar brothers. Like there's no other family. There's. nobody in the hunt. I I in Living Color. is so big. Joe, did you know this? that. the reason we have the Super Bowl.
halftime show is because of In Living. Color. That's crazy. So, In Living. Color, that's true. So, before Michael. Jackson did, when they the year they. brought Michael Jackson was because the. year before that, in Living Color aired. during the Super Bowl. Wow. And they. lost so many viewers. They lost like a a. not half, a big number where that they. were like, "We can't let people leave. during the halftime show because this. show is too big." What year was that? I. want to say Michael Jackson was. 95 maybe. It had to be earlier than.
that. Maybe 94. It had to be earlier. than that because I remember watching it. on TV at a pool hall. 93. 93. Yeah. 93. So I was just moving to New York uh uh. to LA from New York then. So I was in. New York at a pool hall watching it and. I remember watching Fire Marsha Bill and. I would be like, "How can you do this? How is this allowed?" Like this show's. crazy. You have to realize for 93 there was. nothing like like if you think about the. internet today and all the crazy videos.
that people put together and the years. of Mad TV and Yeah. But back then back. then man there was nothing like this. show. This show was crazy. Paul's here. That is Paul. Oh my god. That is Paulie. right in the corner. Oh, look at Paulie. Look at him. He's moving the head like a. pigeon, bro. He's here now, too. Yeah. fun hanging. out with Paulie. It's like being at the. store, man. It's the best. But uh but. this this is unreal how big this was.
The show was great. But Damon, you watch. if you want to watch something, watch uh. the I think it's The Last Stand. I think. that was one of his uh I think that's. the name of it. Something like I think. it's The Last Stand. But it's [ __ ]. phenomenal. And it's it's so it's so. good. But it's also like so good if you. go back to that time cuz comedy like. everything else has evolved with all the. scrutiny on it and all the different. highlevel people that are doing it. Like. there's the comedy right now I think is. at like the highest level that I've ever. seen. There's so many really great.
comedians. I I think in the 1980s, like. if you go back, you had Kenisonson, you. had Eddie Murphy, you had Richard Prior, you had George Carlin, you had a bunch. of really good guy, Jerry Seinfeld, but. that many after that, you know, it. wasn't as thick. Yeah. As thick with. assassins. I think like right now. there's so many assassins out there. There's more arena acts out there right.
now than has ever been in the history of. comedy. Yeah, you got to realize arena. acts started with Dice Clay. So Dice. Clay starts off becoming he becomes an. arena act in like 87ish, late 80s is when arena act comedy. started. Mhm. Before that and nobody was. doing it but Dice. Dice was the only. arena act. Wow. Yeah. And then arena act. number two, Dane Cook. And that's how. many years later? Um many cuz this is. like Dane Cooks becomes an arena act in.
like the 2000s. Wow. Yeah. So then. there's Dane Cook. Dane Cook starts. selling on arena. I was like what is. happening? What is happening? And then. um all of a sudden the internet happens. and social media happens and a lot of. comics like we were talking about like. David and Colin Quinn like David Tel is. one of the best to ever do it. And if. there's ever a club where he's not sold. out the moment it's on stage that's a.
travesty. It doesn't make any sense. Doesn't make sense. But they they didn't. connect to the internet the same way. And because that there the notoriety is. not commensurate to the talent. Whereas. like with Schultz the notoriety and the. talent are perfectly balanced. It's the. same. It's the same level. So everybody. knows how good he is and everybody knows. who he is. It's like it's locked in. where it's like David is this but like.
the notoriety is like us talking about. him only. Word of mouth only. His social. media is hot garbage. He's got a flip. phone and he he texts you with a He's. got to press four times to get a R or. whatever the [ __ ] it is. It's so stupid. So crazy he does it like that. It's. crazy he does it like that. Like why do. you do it like that? Cuz he could be on. the internet more. I mean I remember. when he had that show Insomniac. That's. when I first But let me throw this at. you because I've been trying to stay off. social media more and more every day.
Like a little less every day. And the. more I do it, the better I feel. It's. like not being poisoned. It really is. It's like getting away from a poison. that you didn't know was a poison. Like. some like forever plastics in your. Starbucks cup or something, you know? Like I quit those Starbucks cups and all. of a sudden I You know what I mean? It's. like something like that. Like I tr I. quit drinking tap water and all a sudden. I could think better. You know, Steve Martin sold 5,000 tickets in 78.
Oh my god. That's right. You know, um I. don't know if anybody else before that. We always I forgot about Steve Martin. I. forgot about Steve Martin for two. reasons. One, uh, cuz Steve Martin was a. little different. He was doing standup, but it was a lot of songs and it was, you know what I mean? He He was great, by the way. Like, let's Get Small is. phenomenal. But I think he got to a. point where comedy became too easy. because every and so he didn't know what. was funny anymore because everybody. loved him so much and he stopped doing. standup, which is really weird. Wow.
Probably didn't have good friends. Yeah. Cuz if he had good friends, we would. have grabbed Like who grabbed Ron White? Remember when Ron White was going to. quit? I'm going to retire. Like, what. the [ __ ] are you talking about? Why. would you do that? Why would you do. that? Isn't comedy fun? Yeah. So, keep. doing fun things. What the [ __ ] is wrong. with you? Like, I I I can't believe I. have to give them this advice. Like, you're Ron White. How are you thinking. about how much fun are you having when. you killing up there? But I think that. was the drinking thing, too, man. Yeah, he's sober now. Yeah, it was drinking.
And it was also he needed a tribe, you. know, and he had the tribe a little bit. when he was in California, you know, but. he was always on the road a lot, you. know, and he just decided that being in. the center of the country was better. So. he was like patient zero of the Austin. Revolution. Like a lot of people think. it was me, but it was really Ron because. I came here knowing that Ron was here. I. was like, at the very least, Ron's here. You know, it's two of us. I'm like, I'm. not living like this in California. You're not doing this to me. I know what. you're doing. I was like the the the the.
[ __ ] caged animal in me is like I'm. getting out. This is not this is going. to go sideways. I'm not going to be a. part of this. Yeah. [ __ ] you. Okay, at. least Ron's there. I was like, my life. is going to be worse than it ever was. before. My life is going to be all my. friends are gone. They're not here. I'm. in the middle of the country. Maybe I'll. see him every now and then. Maybe I'll. have to book shows to see them. But at. least Ron's here. That's That's what I. decided. Patient zero. Yeah, he was. patient zero. So, you know, and now he. hangs out every night and we get we get. Ron every night. Oh, it's He's lovely.
He's the He's lovely. We were hanging. one time. This is my favorite Ron story. And it's me, it's just me, you, and Ron. in the green room. And you gifted him a. really nice Rolex. And you guys were. having a sweet moment. And I I couldn't. believe I was there to see it. I was. like, damn, this is really cool. And you. gifted it to him and y'all were having a. conversation like, "Wow." And he takes. off his Rolex and he tosses it to me. He. goes, "There you go, Derek." And I go, "Holy [ __ ] Ron, for real?" He says, "Fuck no, bro. Give me my Rolex. Give my. Rolex back, you idiot. And then you went. so you go, that's the most [ __ ] up.
[ __ ] I've ever seen. Ron, I forgot about. that till right now. It was most evil. So evil. You literally were like, Ron, why would you do that? I thought. everybody's just giving out Rolexes up. in this [ __ ] I just thought that was. going to be a great mo and my face was. like, uh, that's hilarious. But he's the. man, dude. I I can't believe I'm friends. with him cuz I've been a fan since I was. a kid. I feel that same way. Yeah, I. feel that way about a lot of guys. Like. I can't believe I'm friends with you. It's nice. It's nice. But that's good, right? You never stop being both a fan.
and a person who does it. Yeah. I try to. separate it. Um I try to separate me as. a comic offstage versus me as a comic on. stage. I really do, you know, so I could. just be a fan. Oh, I see. Like cuz when. I was younger, I used to watch someone. going, "Oh, I would do it differently.". Like if they suck, I'll do that. If they. suck, I'll go like, "Oh, that premise.". I I think this is not explaining this. very well, you know. I mean, I I'll. start picking it apart that way, but I. like to just be a fan. I like to just.
watch cuz I think a lot of people are. real hesitant to give up flowers, right? As you kids like to say, but the reason. why is because they don't feel good. about comparing themselves to this. person who may be doing better than. them. So, they there's a feeling like, ah, he's all right. He's all right. There's a little bit of that, you know, which I don't I don't like that. It. doesn't make sense to me either because. watching this game for the 10 years I've. been doing it. It's like, oh, like. there's no like everyone tells me that.
Sebastian used to was like nobody knew. that he was going to be the big one of. the biggest arena acts we've ever seen. when he first started when he was coming. around. You hear the older comics. Yeah. Be like, "Oh, he was good." But you. didn't see that for him. So, it's like, "Oh, there is no point to judge somebody. harshly because his game is long." Is. Yeah. The game's long and you figure. things out. I was terrible when I. started. There's no way to not be. Especially me. I was socially [ __ ]. I've been hit in the head 150,000 times. I mean, there's some [ __ ] issues. there. There are some issues. And I I. was socially [ __ ] because I spent.
like from age 15 to 21 just did nothing. but travel around the country fighting. people. That's all I did. So, my version. of young adulthood was very weird. Like, it was 100% competition. Yeah. That was. all it was, you know? That's all I did. Well, when you hear Joey talk about you. when you were younger, like he was an. animal, you know, like Joe was just an. animal before you apparently started. smoking weed. He was like, you were way. more different about it. But I think a. lot of fighters have a hard time.
transitioning into being a regular. person. And I was only an amateur. fighter, you know. I was I couldn't. imagine being a guy like, you know, like. Dustin Porier, who's about to retire, you know, like transitioning to being a. regular person. And he's been this. [ __ ] savage killer for so long. For. so long. At the highest level. Like. that's like the highest level in the. world. Inside the octagon knocks out. Conor McGregor. Yeah. And you're. like, and that guy's got to transition.
to being a regular person. For me, there. was no screaming crowds. It was weird. high school auditoriums and trying to. give people concussions. That's all it. was. That was all it was. So, but there. was no glory and no money. And it cost. me some of my health, you know, for. sure. There's, you know, and and fear. Constantly living in a state of anxiety. that you're going to have to fight again. soon. Constantly. Constantly. And for.
some weird reason, I was always like, why am I doing this to myself? I don't. have to do this. Like, this isn't. doesn't pay me any money. I don't have. to do it. Why am I Why do I keep signing. up to do this? The NBA 82 game grind is. done and now the real fun begins. The. NBA playoffs are here and it's time for. all the highstakes drama, clutch. moments, and jaw-dropping plays. I can't. wait. If you're looking to make the. playoffs even more exciting, DraftKings. Sportsbook has you covered as an. official sports betting partner of the.
NBA. From the playin games all the way. through to the finals, now's your time. to back your favorite players and teams. as they chase glory. All season long, DraftKings has been the go-to spot for. NBA player props. And that doesn't stop. now. Want to make your playoff. experience even more intense? Try. placing a bet on your favorite players. performance. Ready to place your first. bet? Download the DraftKings Sportsbook. app now. Lock in your bets and let's. make this playoff run unforgettable.
Here's something special for first. timers. New DraftKings customers bet $5. to get $200 in bonus bets instantly. Make it a playoff run to remember with. DraftKings. Download the DraftKings. Sportsbook app and use the code Rogan. That's code roan for new customers to. get $200 in bonus bets when you bet just. five bucks. Only on DraftKings. The. crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call. 1800 gambler in New York? Call 8778 hope. and y or text hope and.
y467-369. In Connecticut, help is. available for problem gambling. Call. 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please. play responsibly on behalf of Bootill. Casino and Resort in Kansas. 21 and. over. Agent eligibility varies by. jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. New. customers only. Bonus bets expire 168. hours after issuance. For additional. terms and responsible gaming resources, see. dkg.co/audio. Did you ever have any. ambition to go pro to take it to the. next level or? Yeah, but there was no. money. I remember I got offered $500 to.
do a kickboxing fight and that was so if. I did that kickboxing fight, I couldn't. fight amateur anymore and I was like. $500. So then I can't like if I ever. decided to like try to compete in the. Olympics again because I was trying to. get on the national team to compete in. the Olympics. But somewhere along the. line, I got a little disenchanted with. taekwond do. And one of the ways that it. happened is I started kickboxing and I. started getting beat up because my hands. were dog [ __ ] So like I I was really. good kicking. But if if I got into.
boxing it changes, I was terrible. My. chin was up in the air. I was [ __ ]. swinging punches like a [ __ ] It was. awful. I get hit really hard. If I hit. you, you're in trouble. But it was not. good. And so I realized like, oh, there's a giant flaw in this. Like for. actual real fights, there's a giant flaw. in this. And as soon as I started. kickboxing, particularly this friend of. mine who was a really good boxer, Dana. Rosenblat, he he was one of my training. partners and he became uh New England uh. middleweight champion. He beat uh Vinnie. Pazienza in a decision. He lost to him.
one fight and then beat him in a. decision. He was legit. He knocked out. Howard Davis Jr. who was a uh Olympic. gold medalist. He was a bad. [ __ ] And he also uh when I was. training with him made me realize that I. didn't really want to do this anymore. That I was just doing this because I had. done it my whole life and this was like. what I decided I was doing. Then I was. like not only is there no future in. this, there's a lot of brain damage. coming my way. Like 100% I'm getting it. right now. And uh you know just sparring. with Dana, me and him sparring, we I.
don't know how many times we spar but we. would beat the [ __ ] out of each other, dude. Damn. Really? Oh. Oh, it was. horrible. Yeah. I'd go home with. headaches. He and and if we were uh in. boxing range, he was tuning me up. So I. was always trying to stay on the outside. cuz his hands were way better than mine. But we cracked each other. Oh, you and. Dana White would fight. No, no, no. My. friend Dana Ros. Okay. I was like, "No, no. I heard Dana." I was like, "No, no.". But if me and Dana were friends, we. would do that, too. Like I I sparred. with a lot of my friends. We beat the. [ __ ] out of each other. It was horrible.
But that's how you what you have to do. You know what the beautiful thing about. jiu-jitsu is above kickboxing is you you. don't have this kind of animosity with. your sparring partners because like if. if you're in a good gym um in kickboxing. you're always hurting each other and. it's like even if you love a guy and you. spar with him you're always hurting each. other so you always have this thing. where you're like [ __ ] that dude that. dude gave me a [ __ ] headache you know. what I mean you think about getting him. back like you think about he cracked you. with a left hook you're like I am going. to get him back I can't wait to get him.
back whereas with jiu-jitsu you can't. wait to tap somebody, but you're not. hurting each other. You know, if you get. hurt, it's an accident. The the injuries. in jiu-jitsu are usually either strain. related or, you know, you didn't tap, right? It's either you strain to get out. of something or you pulled yourself the. wrong way or you didn't tap. But in. kickboxing, like you're getting your. legs are getting [ __ ] up every day. Wham. Wham! No matter what. And those. pads, they help a little. Damn. And. they're huge. Those pads when they look. like it when I'm watching, they help a. little. Yeah. If somebody kicks you,
like if Israel Adosana kicks you with. one of those pads on, that's you can't. you can't. believe agony that's involved in that. way to make a living. So I was only. doing it because I I didn't know what to. do. I was still but I wasn't the same. person that I used to be. I was at one. point in time I was just a mad dog. And. then I realized like I'm going to get. really hurt and there's no future in. this, you know. Wow. Were you already. one foot in one foot out or did you just. stop two feet in but you were like I'm. done? You know what it was really? I had.
one fight when I fought I fought in the. nationals in Anaheim and uh I beat the. first guy. So I got into the second. round and the second guy was this I. think he was from Illinois. I don't. remember but he was like super. aggressive and I hit him with the. hardest wheel kick I've ever thrown in. my life. It was perfect. He charged in. with like a a a left switch kick. So he. was like ah did a hopping roundhouse. kick off the left side and I recognized. it right away. There was a pattern. He.
was making this pattern when he was. moving. He would do this thing and then. he would always do this. He would do. this thing and then he would always do. this. So I saw that pattern. I said, "Here it comes." And so he went with. this hopping roundhouse kick. I. countered with this wheel kick. And I. hit him so hard that my heel was sore. for days. I was limping for days because. of the way my heel bounced off his face. any face planted snoring like they snore. when they go out. Have you ever seen. anybody get knocked out? Oh yeah, there.
on the internet. Of course you have. I. had seen it a few times in the gym. It. It's spooky. It's spooky. And so my. thing what I would always do when I. knock somebody out is walk away like it. was nothing. Like that's what I always. do. Like that's what I do. Yeah. I just. I didn't celebrate. I just would turn my. head and walk away. And I was talking to. my friend Junkik who was uh he was US. national champ and he was a training. partner of mine. He was sitting in the. seat and I said I'll never forget this. I'm like is he moving? He's like he.
hasn't gotten up. And so then they get. him an ambulance. And so they put this. kid on a stretcher and they have him. sitting out there for 30 minutes and. he's just on the stretcher for 30. minutes and then they bring him in the. ambulance and they take him to the. hospital and I'm like yo when he said. he's not you he wasn't moving yet. Did. you feel like Yeah, he could be dead. So, this is what scared me. So, I I had. this trainer uh my or this uh instructor. uh who's like one of the best taekwondo.
instructors in the world. And I say to. him, um you know, uh well, he said to. me, he said, uh he goes, I heard you had. a really good knockout at the nationals. And uh I said, yes, sir. I said it was. uh it was kind of scary because uh I. thought like I thought for a while that. he was dead and he. goes sometimes they die. And he walked. away. I was like, "Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus. Christ. Oh Jesus Christ." And he was.
[ __ ] serious. He used to train Rocky. for He used to train troops in Vietnam. Like he was a hardcore dude. He was. hardcore. Oh my god. Sometimes they die. Oh, sometimes they die. Yeah. I think it. was Vietnam where he trained troops. I. forget where he trained troops but he. was like an elite taekwondo instructor. and he was uh his mind was like his name. is uh master Jay Hunt Kim and he's the. the guy who runs the Jay Hunt Kim. Taekwondo Institute like that's his. business and that's that's the place. where I came. He was like one of the few.
guys that was trained under General Chay. Young who was um the founder of. Taekwondo. So like there's a handful of. black belts that were trained by this. one guy. So it was like a different. style. So their style was very violent. and very. poweroriented. Whereas there was like an. Olympic style that was emerged that was. emerging that was very pointsoriented. It was just move fast and like tap and. score and they would yell and [ __ ] like. that. Like every time they'd hit they'd. scream out. And so the Olympic style was.
more effective at winning tournaments. And so the best guys were adopting like. this Olympic style. But there was an. older style that was just the maybe they. telegraphed the moves a little bit more. and maybe it was a little slow, but the. impact was very different. Those guys. were killers. They were knocking people. unconscious. It was very scary. So. that's the gym that I grew up in. So I I. had this very fortunate place that I. just stumbled into. I happened to be. like one of the best taekwondo gyms in.
the country especially for generating. power because they like really emphasize. heavy bag work. Like he really. emphasized heavy back work. It's like. you have to generate power. If you hit. somebody and it doesn't hurt, that's. ridiculous. You got you got you got to. be able to hit someone and just put them. out. Would you get into a lot of street. fights before this? Or even before. before Taekwondo? You weren't even. getting into fights. Before Taco, I was. a [ __ ] Really? Yeah. I couldn't fight. at all. So like why would I get in. fights? I was trying to get away from. fights. I was trying to avoid everybody.
I was terrified. Wow. Wow. So, I just. got tired of being [ __ ] with because I. was a [ __ ] because I would get nervous. because I moved around a lot. I didn't. have a lot of friends. We moved a bunch. of times when I was a kid. So, I was. always around new kids and I wasn't big. So, they would [ __ ] with me, you know? It's just normal. So, and I didn't know. how to fight. So, it bothered the [ __ ]. out of me. So, I'm like, well, there's. only one solution. You, you know, you. got to become what you're scared of. So, you put yourself into taekwond. You were. like, "Hey, I want to do this." Yeah. got a job, started working, washing. dishes at Newport Crearyy, got enough.
money so I could take taekwond do. lessons. Holy [ __ ]. And then I started going every day. So. after a while, he realized like it would. be better if I was just there all the. time instead of working. And so he gave. me a job. I did not know that about I was. teaching. So I started teaching when I. was like 15. I was teaching people when. I was 15. And then when I was 19, I was. teaching at Boston University. I used to. teach a class, accredited class. It was.
a pass fail A. And I would tell. everybody, it counted towards your GPA. So I'd say, if you come here, you get an. A. That's all you have to do. Just try. You're going to get an A and it counts. towards your GPA. And I tell them that. in the beginning of the class. I go, if. you can't come, if you can't make it, just call me and tell me that you can't. make it, but I want you to come. I want. you to come every time you can. And if. you do that, I'm going to get you. better. and we're we're all going to. learn something. We're gonna I'm gonna. teach really get into this. So, I was. really good at teaching. I was really.
really interested. That's how you were. in there in the gym when we work out. You had that same energy. So, it's like, oh, that came from a place. Yeah. Well, that's what I was doing for a living. So, from 15 to 19, I was just teaching. So, what the what my instructor allowed. me to do, but I guess I was training. after about 6 months or so. He he said, "Look, this is you could train here for. free. All you have to do is teach. private lessons." I was like, "Great.". So, I would teach people, the new. people, I would teach them how to bow. I. teach them how to tie their ghee on. I. would teach them how to stand. I would.
teach them different different. techniques. And I would go through them. and get them so they're ready to join. into group classes because you couldn't. just go into group classes. You wouldn't. know what you're doing. Like they're. like front kick. You're like looking. around. Someone's got to teach you how. to do it. So, it was always like a big. deal to let like one of your little. birds loose into the main class. Like. you teach them, get their front kick. going, get the sidekick going. They go. through a series of private lessons. I. tell them to practice on their own using. the mirror, give them a bunch of like. things to think about as they break down.
the movements. and you just literally I've seen you do. it in there. That is what the mothership. is. It's really just a [ __ ] dojo to. get better and everything is about. everyone pushing each other to get. better and like learning together. Yeah. It's like, oh my gosh, you've been on. this teacher [ __ ] Well, that's also. what my instructor explained to me when. I was really young, too. Like I I say. this all the time and I even said it on. the podcast yesterday. Martial arts are. a vehicle for developing your human. potential. That's what it is. It's just. you're using martial arts as a way to.
get better at life because it's this. really hard thing. And if you could do. this really hard thing, other things. won't be as hard. You you'll be able to. you'll have more mental and physical. horsepower for regular everyday life. You'll have more ability to overcome. adversity and weird moments, uncomfortable moments. You're used to. being uncomfortable. It's f You'll be. fine. It's different. Wow. Yeah. See, I. came up I I played football, a college. football. Like I was a football player.
my whole life. And that was that, bro. That was another one for brain damage. How's your head? How's your head? I'm. addicted to training board. I some. problems. So, I got some pro I got some. demons, dude. But I agree. But the idea of like cuz. that's so yourself. You're dealing with. fighting. You're dealing with yourself. You're always yourself. Whereas I I I. came my whole thing was team team. You. get to lean on people. You're leaning on. each other and and that's what's making. you better is is how do we play the best. as a group, right? You know. Well, that's great, too. And I think that's. probably more beneficial to society is.
learning how to play in a team. My. problem was like, you know, when I. I was a bad [ __ ] dude. You're. handsome. All thin. Look at you. So. handsome. You're good looking. You look. like a [ __ ] model, dog. Look at you. I went to That's one of the top high. school football schools. Back to looking. like that. You could look like that. again. I know. You just got to lay off. the car. They're so good. Oh, they're so. good, dude. Come on. Hot Cheetos and. pasta. Oh my god. And then just cuz you. stopped, you told me the other day you. haven't been drinking again. You stopped.
drinking, right? Yeah. Been more than a. month now. Month and some weeks. You. walked in and you were like three weeks. off, boys. I was like, Jesus [ __ ] dude. Bro, I had all this [ __ ] side fat and. belly fat that just went away. But most. importantly, I just feel better. Like I. never have days where I'm recovering. from being drunk. Like I sound like [ __ ]. now because I have allergies, which is. hilarious because I always made fun of. people. I was like, they're like, "Yeah, three to five years you'll get. allergies." I'm like, "Shut up, [ __ ]. I'm not getting these [ __ ] [ __ ] ass.
allergies you guys get." Now here I am. Yeah. Yeah. That's so annoying. It's so. annoying to for everybody to be right. Oh yeah. My wife gets me on that honey. natural. If you get honey from a local. honey, it gets rid of your allergies. I've heard that too. But the lady that. we had in here that was a beekeeper says. it's [ __ ] [ __ ] Yeah. Not only. that, she said most honey that like a. not most, she said a lot of honey that.
you buy in the store is not really. honey. Yeah. They they [ __ ] you. They. put like corn syrup and some [ __ ]. this and that and it Yeah, they they. they have fake honey. [ __ ] man. Isn't. that crazy? Is anything real? Isn't that. crazy? Why would they do that? China. They're getting us these dummies. They're not going to check. They're not. going to check because Do you remember. what she said, Jamie? What percentage. she said? But she did say that a lot of. honey was fake honey. Right, bro? It. doesn't make sense cuz that's such a. thing that's been natural in my head.
since the dawn of time, right? Honey, have you ever seen those cats that uh in. the Himalayas? I think it's Is it Tibet? Where is it where they get that um. psychedelic honey. called Mad Honey? Remember, Jamie? Yeah, I think it's Tibet. Who brought that in. for us? We did it during the show. Yeah, we we took some Mad Honey during the. show. How was the trip? Sunny from Best. Ever brought it. Shout out to Sunny. Um,
uh, it wasn't, I mean, I was fine. Really didn't do anything that crazy. You definitely knew that you were on. something, but we He was like, "Take a. little bit." I'm like, "Fuck this. Give. me a teaspoon." I took the whole. teaspoon. I'm like, "Let's go." I'm. like, "If you want to I want to go.". Like Joey Diaz always says, "I want to. meet the devil. [ __ ] you micro doing. I'm trying to meet the devil. You guys. are [ __ ] crazy.". Uh I I would see you do that before. stage school. You would take a full. nugget of the mushroom. Don't tell the.
the police are listening. Well, you were. eating something. I don't know what it. was. I think that that is the first. thing we have to make legal. We got to. get Trump on mushrooms. Just get him to have a little micro. dose. He'd be like, I'm really killing. the game. You are killing the game, sir. My wife is mushrooms. Great. Yeah. God, that'd be crazy to see him on mushrooms. Oh my god. Every politician should be on. mushrooms. All wars would end. Do you. know how crazy that is for me to say. that? And it's also true. It sounds so. stupid also because it's me and I'm.
stupid. But if but if like a a scholar. of someone who you really trusted, the. pinnacle of science today said if we. could just go get the whole world on. mushrooms, the whole all the wars would. stop. Everyone would stop dehumanizing people. Everyone would stop treating people like. others. everyone would realize like, oh. wow, we're we're really all connected in. some bizarre way that's difficult to. interface with sometimes, but we're all. connected. We get selfish and we think.
about oursel only, but if we cannot, like that's like one of the beautiful. things about camaraderie and community. If you cannot, then you all sort of like. lock in. You realize like we're all. experiencing this thing together. We're. all like one thing that's separated by. biology, but our our soul, our spirit, our whatever it is that is us inside of. our meat bag. Yeah. Is a soul and it's. connected to all the other souls in some. strange way. And if you can figure out,
it's almost like you're listening to. some It's almost like there's. jackhammers going off around you, but. you hear a really good song in the. distance. Like, God, I can almost hear. that song. It's almost beautiful, you. know, like you ever be in a restaurant, everybody's talking, but there's just. some jam is playing on the radio and you. almost hear that song. Yeah. Just a. Marvin Gay seeping through. It's like. that's what it's like. I think there's. different strategies that people use to. try to get there. And I think God is one. of them. Like even the concept of God, I.
think what you're trying to do is to get. to that place where you recognize like. through strategies of like tactics of. following commandments and having a. mindset and and giving all your faith to. Jesus and all your faith is like just by. act of doing that. What you're doing is. you're trying to get closer and closer. to whatever the [ __ ] that that beautiful. beautiful song is that's playing amongst. all the noise because you know it's. there. It's just like.
you. hear. down oh man. Yeah. Oh my I remember I. don't know who this comic said this but. it was great. He always tell me this. joke, but he said how people think. they're Americans or Chinese or. whatever. But we're all on this planet. Like just zoom out. Whatever you think. you are, just zoom out a little bit. It's just like the Republican Democrat. trap. It's just like the Texas trap. Shut up. We're all just people. We're.
all people. And you That's one of the. beautiful things about traveling. You. meet friends in Scotland. You meet. friends in Ireland. You meet friends in. Australia. [ __ ] like people are just. people, man. We're just all people. We. just We adapt to whatever our. environment is. We adapt to the culture, the way people sound their words out, you know. Yeah, dude. I want to fit in. If you want to fit in, you move to the. south, you start saying y'all, you know. You said y'all yet. Oh, I say y'all. When did you start? But I'm I'm from. Memphis, Tennessee. Oh, that's right.
I'm a little southern. So, you'd always. had Yeah, you've always had a y'all. pass. Yeah. Yeah, I've been a y'all. I. was born in New Jersey and I'm mostly. Italian. For me, y'all is a stretch. That's a That's I don't want to be. disingenuous. Does it ever come out of. you? No. Never. For funsies. Yeah. But. it never accidentally comes out like. y'all y'all going to go. You know that. you know I'm 57. Yeah. I say you are you. guys this week. Like accents are weird, man. You don't.
realize you have them until you hear. them and you're like why do I sound like. that? And it's impressive when you see. people who can do them. I didn't know I. had a a deep Boston accent until I was. on television for the first time when I. was 19. I won the Bay State Games and I. was on this like local TV news thing and. I got a chance to hear myself on TV. I. was like, "Oh my god, I sound like a. [ __ ] idiot." Like what. is like heavy Boston accent? Yeah, you. don't have it as bad. I got rid of it.
Yeah. I'm like that's a dumbass accent. But then you started talking to. everybody with a million different. accents on the pod. So you I'm sure. you've heard all the different versions. Neutral after a while. I think your your. voice gets neutral, but you're not all. the way like newscaster neutral where. it's just that and now that kind of. [ __ ] The opposite of comedy, right? Cuz. that doesn't hypnotize anybody. Oh no. When that guy's talking the news like. this is a presentation from NBC News. Look at my tie. Look at the pocket.
square. I'm serious. I am a serious. person. Most of those guys are freaks. That's. what I I I love when those guys get. caught. Oh yeah, just those guys are. just doing coke and banging in a harum. of gay men. It's insane. Valets are. animals. These guys are and then but on. television I present the news. Meanwhile, they're wearing a [ __ ] ring. and [ __ ] freaks. All those like all. those people that pretend to be proper.
Those are the ones you got to keep your. eye on. Yeah. They never have real. opinions either. It's all just whatever. It's just a job. Bill Cosby was the guy. who pushed the most for clean comedy. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? That's Is it. though? Is it though? Like like scolding. everybody for their language and their. subject matter. He was scold comedians. That Eddie Murphy bit is so good though. when he told Richard Prior that Bill. Cosby, he's like, "You making money?". Yeah. Other people laugh. People laugh. Do you get paid? Tell Bill to have a. cocon smile and shut the [ __ ] up.
That's one of the greatest jokes of all. time, dude. It's so good. Well, it was. so good, too, because Eddie Murphy could. do such good impressions. Yeah. Yeah. And all the accents. He's another one. like they just stopped doing comedy. Like, if Eddie Murphy would have been. bigger than all of them, all the arena. acts we were talking about before, Eddie. Murphy would have been bigger. Bigger. Bro, he was so good. He was so powerful. Go back and watch Delirious. Oh my god, he was like 20. Hey, that's what's. crazy. Whenever I do watch the lyrics, I'm like, he was like 20 and he's got.
full command of this what? 4,000 seater, 5,000 seater. Murdering wearing a leather jumpsuit or. some [ __ ] Chest out. [ __ ] abs out, dude. Oh my god. Yeah, this is crazy. It's But. it's interesting like people people the. paths they choose in life, you know? Movies movies be calling. I think it's a. velvet prison. Yeah, I've heard you say. that to Assan once about writing jobs. That's a velvet prison. That's another. velvet prison. But like I'm sure Damon.
Wayne's had a good time making all those. TV shows. But wouldn't it have been. amazing to see him being this guy that's. like selling out arenas all over the. world? Like that's where it should be. He would still be doing it right now. He. could do it right now. He could just. abandon all that TV nonsense right now. and go back to it and still be one of. the best alive. You know that guy. records like every show. He has a a. camera that he takes with him on a. tripod. He sets it up. He records every. [ __ ] show and he puts them all on his. computer. He goes, "I've been doing this.
since 94." I'm like, "Wow.". Yeah. That's so many f And how many specials. he doesn't have? No. Doesn't have a lot. of specials. Yeah. Compared to other. guys where you see not compared to how. good he is. It doesn't make sense. Yeah. It's crazy. He just, you know, someone's. paying you, you go, you enjoy your work, you like it. You know, there's nothing. wrong with those decisions. very successful, but you know when you. got to think like when you see guys like. Schultz selling out arenas and Bert.
selling out arenas and Tony selling out. arenas and it's like don't you want to. get in on that like man talk to me David. I help I'll help you oh my god that'd be. sick to see him make a comeback yeah I. would love to see him do that I just. think after a while do you really want. to work for somebody do you really want. to show up and you know read the script. and do the table I Do you do that? No. [ __ ] I love just showing up 8:00. Oh, man. Get up four or five times in a.
night. Oh, there's nothing. I love it, dude. I mean, the idea of doing some. stuff seems fun, but the to make it my I. saw Seinfeld say that. He was like, "Man, this it's one of the We have one. of the few jobs where people want this. job." Yeah. How many Like very rarely do. I see I don't know. There's there's no. job where I'm like, "I'd like to really. like to be that." Yeah. This is the job. It's one of them. That's for sure. Rockstar is probably the big one. Rockstar is probably the biggest. Yeah, but I don't see the Rockstar thing. They. could sing the same ass song every night.
forever. Yeah. Like if you're the. Rolling Stones, you could still sing. Brown Sugar. Nope. Can't sing it. anymore. Can't sing that one. Wait a. minute. They don't sing Brown Sugar. anymore. No. Come on, bro. You ever see. the lyrics to Brown Sugar? What are the. actual lyrics? What is it? There's a reason why they. don't sing it anymore. It's a great. song. Don't get me wrong. It's still on. my Spotify playlist, but if you I think. it I might have pulled it out. I might. get scared. Wait till you see the. lyrics. That playlist is crazy long.
It's great. Yeah, the playlist. Wait, we. get turned up in there. We do. I think. that playlist is like 35 hours long now. Let me see it. You keep adding to it. I. keep adding to it. I love it because. every once in a while 33 hours and 49. minutes. Yeah. I love when we're in. there and then I'll be like, "Who the. [ __ ] is playing this?" And I look at. him, you're just like, it's like, Joe, who who got you on the Black Panther. album? You just listen to some random. [ __ ] Hey, who got you on this? Oh, yeah. I love a good random [ __ ] Like if. I'm in a bar and I hear some cool random.
song, I love like that's why I love that. Shazam app. Oh, that's so nice. Here it. is. Yeah. Gold Coast slave ship bound. for cotton field sold in a market down. in New Orleans. Scarred old slaver knows. he's doing all right. Hear them whip the. women just around midnight. Brown sugar. How come you taste so good? Brown sugar. just like a young girl should. Uh yeah. Yeah. Drums beating. Cold English blood. Blood runs hot. Lady of the house.
wondering if wondering where it's going. to stop. House boy knows that he's doing. all right. You should have heard him. just around midnight. This song's. horrific. This song's crazy. Brown. sugar. How comes when he tastes so good? Brown sugar just like a young girl. should. Oh yeah. Yeah. Uh uh. Get down. on the ground, Brown Sugar. How come you. taste so good? Uh get down. Get down, Brown Sugar. Just like a young girl. should. I bet your mama was a tent show. queen and all her boyfriends were sweet. 16. I'm no school boy, but I know what I.
like. You should have heard me just. around midnight. This song's crazy. He. was [ __ ] McJagger was losing his. mind. This is a crazy song. This to. write all this down. Slaveship. Did you. say slave ship? Slave ship. Just like a. young girl. [ __ ] What do you What? That. brown sugar. You taste so good. Sold in. a market. What? And And then scroll down. a little bit. This was another one that. that I'm not sure what they're saying. here. Hold on. Uh go scroll down a. little bit. Oh yeah. I bet your mama was. a tent show queen.
What does that mean? What does that. mean? What the [ __ ] does that mean? What. is a tent show queen? What's a tent. show? Well, whatever it is, she's. getting [ __ ] Something horrible. Whatever's happening in that tent. That. song is cra So they don't play that song. anymore when you go see the Stones. You saw them. You've seen them live. Yeah, bro. You see them live, you can't. believe you're they're really there. They're like You're like, "Is that. really them? It just seems so strange.". A tent show. Yeah, they're probably one. of the if not No, they're definitely one. of the biggest bands of all time. Tent. shows are a generic term for traveling.
shows that pitch tents. So, a tent show. queen would have been a feature. performer probably in a vaudeville act. If the song is progressing forward in. time, the fact that she had a. 16-year-old's boyfriend suggests she's. either extremely sexually liberal or. more likely prostituting herself. If. she's prostituting herself, the power. dynamic is reiterated. A black woman at. the mercy of paying white men. Huh? What.
kind of [ __ ] scholarly take on this. song is that? What is that? What are. they saying? This is so weird. No, that's [ __ ] crazy. That's a weird. definition. Yeah, there's a website that. gives you insight on lyrics. It's. crowdsourced, but it doesn't necessarily. mean it's accurate. Oh, I see. I see. Cuz I'm reading this, I'm like, the. power dynamic is reiterated. What? A. black woman at the mercy of paying white. men. Yeah. She advertises herself during. the show and then sleeps on the side.
What is that? I'm not Yeah, those shows though. You ever seen any of. those? Those black people used to be. monsters. They were monsters. They were monsters. And carney carnese would come into town, these carnival people, and rob everybody. and steal and probably murder. Just. dirty people traveling around trying to. stay alive and conning people out of. their money. And you know, the bearded. lady got [ __ ] glued hair stuck to her.
face. What did I pay to see? They still. do that [ __ ] Oh yeah. We went, you ever. heard of this place called The Box in. London? And they have one in New York, too, but The Box. No. Schultz took me, this [ __ ] psychopath. We go to The. Box. This after the after we do Royal. Albert Hall. It's a great night. We go. to the box around 2 a.m. That's when the. show starts. Really? It's one of those. kind of shows. 2 a.m. 2 a.m. They take. your phone, they lock it up. Whoa. Joe, there's people [ __ ] on stage and. rubbing themselves in [ __ ] and [ __ ]. each other on stage and putting crazy. huge dildo rods in each other. Are you.
getting anybody in trouble by saying. this? No. This is a This is an organized. business. This is legal. We have. multiple of these. The box. Yep. That's. it. And they were [ __ ] on each. other. [ __ ] on Joe. [ __ ] on each. other. Did you worry about getting [ __ ]. on you while you were there? How close. were we to these people? Uh we had like. a nice little booth. Luckily, were you. with Schultz? We had a nice You got to. know when to panic and get out of the. building if [ __ ] starts flying around. Oh, dude. It was crazy. Once people. start [ __ ] in public, like I'm out. rubbing it. I like line. I don't have to.
be here in person. I'm that night. I was. I was ready to fight cuz I was about to. fight Schultz in them. I walked in and. there's [ __ ] There's all, you know, there's there's all kind of people in. there, right? Right when I walk in with. a big dude dressed like a woman, but a. dude I mean big ripped, right? Just. [ __ ] reach for my balls and dick as. we're walking in. Oh boy. Oh yo, what. the [ __ ] man? I'm looking at but nobody. else sees this happen. Me and him at. this and then he keeps walking and I'm. now I'm on 10. I'm like, "Oh, what the. [ __ ] I'm you not having fun anymore. Now I'm I'm ready to fight. This is. crazy. This guy just like trying to. touch my dick. What the [ __ ] is going.
on? Kevin spacing me. Yeah. And they. think Kevin spacing me. He [ __ ] Kevin. spacing me. I think I think amongst that. community that is a common way of saying. hello. Oh, it was working for I saw him. later [ __ ] having pretty much having. sex with the guy later, but you just got. to take a chance. You look like a gay. guy is what he's trying to say. I think. he saw the flagrant up. I don't know. what makes you beautiful. Yeah, but. maybe he did see that happen. That's. what Schul said later probably. Mhm. Yeah. Probably saw that. I didn't know. So I'm hot. Go. I'm on 10. They think. I'm on 10 because everyone's gay. So.
Schultz and them are like, Derek, you. got to stop being homophobic, man. Like, it's just a weird show. And I was like, I'm about to [ __ ] kill you guys. That. guy tried to grab my dick. And it was. just a hor it was like a curb your. enthusiasm level of miscommunication. But I mean, it was one of the I've never. been more mad, dude. Really? The Well, I. just uh the idea of some a grown man. touching my dick physically like that. It was just It's very disrespect. I. don't like I don't like being. disrespected like that. It's scary. It's. scary. Well, imagine being a woman and. that happens. That's what I was. thinking. Yeah, that's how I felt. That's that's the reality. There's some.
there's bad people out there, you know, guys grabbing asses in bars and beating. up boyfriends and Yeah, you got to be. careful. You can run into the wrong. dudes. You know how people are jealous. of, you know, other comic success? Well, that ain't [ __ ] compared to like the way. ugly dudes are jealous of handsome guys. with a good-looking girl. You know, then. that guy becomes the enemy. Look at this. [ __ ] [ __ ] Look at this [ __ ]. [ __ ] with that girl. Look at her that. [ __ ] [ __ ] And they all those muts. They all get together and speak mut. language. Yeah, [ __ ] him. Probably from.
out of town. Probably from that other. piece of dirt where all those [ __ ]. live. Where you from, [ __ ] From that. [ __ ] town. Another town over down the. road. Some [ __ ] rival baseball team. that beat them when they were in seventh. grade and they still haven't let go of. it. Yeah, dude. They get pissed. Yeah. There's a lot of idiots in the world, man. They all need mushrooms. All of. them. They all need mushrooms. Yeah. Yeah, mushrooms would make you you'd. abandon all that towny [ __ ] You'd be. like, "What? Oh my god, this is so.
silly." Yeah, you realize how big the. world is. Yeah, I've picked such a small. camp, town of 2200 in the middle of. Nebraska. I'm trying to start fights. with the people from De Moine. Yeah, [ __ ] Iowa [ __ ]. People are so silly. They're so silly. God, how fast would you have kicked that. guy into oblivion if he tried to grab. your dick like that? Well, you don't. want to just escalate right to like. extreme violence. That's what I told. They're like, "Why were you look so.
angry?" And I was like, "Bro, I was on, you know, you hit that point where it's. like, I'm not having fun anymore." You. got to be careful. I'm here now. You got. to be careful, man. People get stabbed. People get shot. People You don't. extreme violence is should be reserved. for really defending yourself. Yeah. You. have to defend yourself. You have to. know you're actually being attacked. That guy was literally trying to have. this guy on Molly. I'm sure he's drugged. up. You're on Molly. You're on this. You're on that. Cocaine and you're. [ __ ] dress like a fairy. You should. never exchange violence with someone. unless you [ __ ] have to. You. shouldn't. Avoid it at all. That's why I.
never had any street fights. Like, avoid. it at all. I mean, I had like one in. high school. Well, I had two. Two in. high school. They were nothing though. No big deal. But then once I started. competing, I was done with all that. Yeah. But if you do tune somebody up, like they die sometimes. Like what my. instructor was saying is true, especially in the real world because. people fall and they hit their head in. the concrete. That happens. People die. like that all the time. They get knocked. out, their head bounces off the. concrete, and then they're dead. Yeah.
It's like getting a giant rock dropped. on your head from like a second story. building. Yeah. Think about what the the. earth is, you know, like the earth like. the concrete is immobile and so hard and. all of the weight of your 200 plus pound. body falls backwards and your head. bounces off that concrete and it's the. most sickening sound. God, you hear it all the time on that. mat when people get knocked out. Yeah, but that's like way safer than getting.
knocked out on the concrete. But yeah, I. do hear it all the time. It's it it. bothers the [ __ ] out of me when I see. someone's head bounce when they get. KO'ed and their head bounces off the. ground. I'm like, "Oh, bro, did you ever see the one when. um Josh EMTT knocks out Bryce Mitchell?". Oh my god, dude. It's one of the worst. one punch knockouts in the history of. the sport. He knocks him out and Bryce. Mitchell's legs are twitching and he's. like locked up completely out cold and. when he goes down now imagine someone.
gets hit like that on the street and you. fall back like that on concrete. So not. only do you get destroyed by the punch, but then you get destroyed again by the. earth with covered in concrete bouncing. off the back of your head with all the. weight of your body and leverage to the. back. The head is the first thing that. hits. Your head flies back and all this. weight is. bang. Watch this. What? This This is a. crazy knockout, dude.
It's so fast you don't even really see. it. But look at his His legs start. shaking. Yeah. You hear DC saying he's shaking. He's shaking, Joe. Oh my god. Flush. Flush. And Josh Emmed is a little tank. I mean, he's 145 lbs for about five. seconds till he weighs in. Then he. probably weighs about 170 and he hits. like a [ __ ] mule. Look at this. Boom. Look at the back on that [ __ ].
Look how he's built, man. And imagine. how much force is involved in that guy. punching you in the face. Oh, the craziest one I ever seen live. was we were together. We were in Phoenix. and it was when Tony F Chandler kicked. Tony Ferguson. Oh my god. That's one of. the scariest ones. I remember I was cuz. I was high too. I'm not sure. So I was. like, you watch his soul leave his body. I saw it spiral back down into his It. was scary. I remember how scared I was. for this grown man of like, "Oh my god, he hasn't moved." And you just see that.
that Yeah. Oh my god. That's maybe one. of the best front kicks of all time. That's perfect. The technique is. perfect. I mean, and that's a real. picture. That's a live He made his face. look like that. That's so crazy. He. looks like like a grandpa in a Pixar. movie. doesn't he? But oh, that was that was a scary that. was the scariest one I seen, but my. favorite knockout I've ever seen was uh. that I mean we were all in the green.
room. I don't know if you were there for. this one, but it was Whitney's weekend. It was like 12 15 of us in that green. room and it was when Izzy knocked out. Polo time. Knocked out. The greatest celebration of all time at. all all time. Fortify your mind. That. line sticks with me. The whole thing. from beginning to end, the three arrows. into his body while he was down, breaks. it. Yeah. Izzy looks at his son and then. falls on his back to mock his son cuz. his son had mocked him. Like that's how. penny he is years ago. He looks at his son, he falls down like.
the kid did, a little kid. And then he. he then he pops back up and then he. gives like the best postfight speech in. the history of the sport. It was like he. rose it already. It was be I remember. how beautiful. You can feel this one. time in your life. Yeah. Here it is. Oh, now watch this.
I mean that lights you up, dude. Bro, and then watch this. He finds his son. Reme look look points to you. Look. You. you you check this out. [Laughter]. That kid's like seven years old. That's. [ __ ] That's literally That's so. petty. That's so petty. That is so. petty. Wait, he remembered found it. Oh. yeah. He's like, "Oh, yeah. Check this. out." He's like, "I forgot now." Joe, was he lulling him? Was he when he was.
getting [ __ ] up? He was really getting. [ __ ] up. Okay. Yeah. His leg he told. me that his leg was getting compromised. already. One of the things in the first. fight. So, the first fight in the UFC, Poeton wins, and he wins by stoppage. And Izzy said, "I wasn't even really. hurt. I just couldn't move cuz he had. [ __ ] my leg up so much. I couldn't get. out of the way of his punches." He's. like, "But I I wasn't hurt like real. badly hurt to the point where he's. wobbling." He's like, "My leg wasn't. working." He'd kick the [ __ ] out of his. leg. He his calf kicks are so nasty. He's like out of all the people in the.
sport, he's the worst guy to have kick. your calves cuz he sneaks them in and. there's two and three and before you. know it, ah [ __ ] my leg don't work. anymore. God and now you're trying to. get away and you got one leg and you're. trying to dance and pretend. So you're. putting all the weight on this leg. So. you're trying to pretend like you got. two legs, but he can tell. He can tell. thud. He hits it again. Thud. So he he. had Izzy in real trouble, but he opened. up too much. you just open up too much. and you know to order to like close in. on someone and bang them out like you.
got to leave yourself exposed sometimes. there's risks to reward right and the. the the cautious uh patient thing to do. is you you throw a lot of faints and. then you throw your shots in but he was. just teeing off at this point and when. you're just teeing off you're assuming. that the guy's incapable of countering. in a to a certain extent or not he's. incapable you're you're taking the risk. of getting countered you know whereas if. He just kept playing that game and like. fainting and moving and and slowly. picking and poking and knowing he just.
charged in a little too much. He, you. know, he thought Izzy was hurt more than. he was and then is he got him that right. hand. He got him. [ __ ] great. One of. the greatest knockouts of all time, especially when you think about like the. significance of it and you think about. like historically, you know, two great. champions. one guy who had knocked him. out in kickboxing and then knocked him. out in the UFC and then he knocks him. out cold and gets. petty and then after Petty gets super.
inspirational. Yeah. And gives one of. the greatest postfight speeches of all. time. I think the greatest. I don't. think there's ever been a better Oh, maybe maybe Rose Namayunas. That was. right up there, too. That one made me. cry. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. Yeah, she's sick. She's a badass, too, dude. Yeah. But yeah, that Izzy one, man. That's I mean he's the reason I never he. got me into the idea of UFC. I never. before he got into because he was under. the nerd stuff and I couldn't believe. that there was a guy who was like being. like yo I'm a I'm a nerdy dude. I like. nerd [ __ ] and I'm kicking the [ __ ] out. of people and that got me locked in and.
also like a sweetheart sweetheart of a. guy. So fun just to hang out with and. shoot the [ __ ] He's silly. He's fun. Oh. dude, he's playful, you know. He's just. a real good guy. Real smart. Oh, he took. us to a club when we were in Brisbane. with me and Schol and we just danced. till like 3:00 in the morning. Just. [ __ ] up. It was awesome. He took us to. like some local spot that he likes, you. know? But he's the man, dude. That's. awesome. He's just the [ __ ] man. But. yeah, the nerd [ __ ] made me lock in like. it interesting how different those guys.
I mean like we're talking about like. Dustin Pory like having a regular life. Like the same thing with Izzy. Like how. do you have a regular life after you did. that? You did that. You did that in. front of the whole world. The whole. world was watching. It was there was so. many consequences on that that fight. because you were winning. He was winning. that first fight. Yeah, he was winning. You know, he was ahead on points and. then the fourth round or the it was the. fourth or the fifth where he got put. out, you know, it was um you know, it. was devastating. Like this [ __ ]. got him again. Yeah, cuz he got robbed.
in the first kickboxing fight. Izzy got. robbed in my opinion. I went I watched. that fight several times. I I mean. robbed is a tough description, but I. would say I do not agree with the. decision. I think Izzy won that. kickboxing fight. And then the second. kickboxing fight, Izzy had him on. skates. He had Izzy had him hurt at one. point in time, but he recovered and then. he caught Izzy with a left hook from. hell. Just a left hook from hell. That. [ __ ] hit so hard, dude. Yeah, it. looks scary. He hit so hard. And he. wasn't as big back then as he is now.
Like he a lot of strength and. conditioning work since then. like he. didn't doesn't look the same like then. as he does now. Now he looks way more. strong. And so he he knocks him out and. then they fight in the UFC and he knocks. him out again. And then Izzy finally. knocks him out and then puts the arrows. in his body for the three times he beat. him. He said that was like he didn't. even think of that. He just did three. He just felt like doing three, but it. was really the three times he beat him. and it just came out of his body. Came. out of his body. This [ __ ] got.
me three times. [ __ ] Oh, I don't know who was on. stage that night, but we ruined their. set cuz they came on stage like, "Oh, yeah. You just I'm I'm in the middle of. a joke and you just hear 30 people in. the green room go.". And I thought Whitney, too. Ah, all of. us. Cuz it was just, oh, this is a. moment, dude. You could feel it when it. just the way he did it. And when he's. yelling, but that's one of the most. inspiring that speech. It whenever I'm. working out or doing anything that. fortify your mind, it plays in my head.
Fortify your mind. Jamie played that for. us one time. It's It's like one of the. greatest speeches of all time. And you. know, he asked me for the microphone, too. He did. Yeah. I was like, "Yeah.". People, Earth, I need to say something. Listen to me. I hope every one of you. behind your screens on this arena can. feel this level of happiness just one. time in your life. I hope all of you can. feel how [ __ ] happy I am just one. time in your life. But guess what? You.
will never feel this level of happiness. if you don't go for something in your. own life. When they knock you down, when. they try and [ __ ] on you, when they talk. [ __ ] about you and they try and put. their foot on your neck. If you stay. down, you will never ever get that. resolve. Fortify your mind and feel this. level of happiness as you rise one time. in your life. But I'm blessed to be able. to feel this [ __ ] again and again and. again and again and again.
Woo. I mean, God, man. Damn. While you rise. I mean, it it sounds. like something from a movie, like a. speech before war. It sounds like like. 15 writers sat in a room and came up. with the perfect perfect lines. Yeah. And then, if that was in the movie. Gladiator, I'd be like, "Yo, yeah, that's what that's how good that is.". And I bet that just came out of the. moment. I didn't even ask him. I should. ask him next time I talked to him. I bet. that just came right out of the moment. It was just right there. It was a. perfect event for him. It was perfect.
The way it went down was perfect. You. couldn't You could never script that. better in a movie. No. To see him. flattened out out cold and then put. arrows in his unconscious body. He. knocked out a Easter egg island, man. [ __ ] Poton. Easter egg. Easter egg. Oh, it's not an Easter egg. island. I thought it was Easter egg. island, bro. Alex Berrero is the. scariest kickboxer that's ever competed. in the sport. He's like the one guy.
above all that I would say if he hits. you once, you're dead. He just has to. hit you once at all the guys I've ever. seen fight. I don't think anybody I. could say that more than that guy, including in kickboxing, in everything. He has more power than anybody I've ever. seen. In fact, even boxing. Even Even I. don't think I've seen anybody that hits. harder than that guy. Anybody ever. Ever. Ever. Except Francis Enano, but. Francis Enano is 265. You know what I'm. saying? But in in weight class, like.
weight class to weight class, Francis. can put anybody out, too. But he's not. at the same skill level as Poeton. So. when Poeton does it, it's like so like. when he switch kicked Yuri Prohaska and. KO'ed him at the beginning of the second. round. Jesus Christ. Like what the [ __ ]. man? And he KOed him already at the end. of the first round. Yeah. Terrifying. That dude's terrifying. just absolutely. terrifying. That power is just from this. like from God. It's like he's got a. gift. He's got a weird gift that's just.
different than ever. He you know there's. this machine where you punch it and it. registers the amount of power. With. Francis it was like 130 something. something like that. Right. Francis like. 130 something. Poton got 191. 191 with his with his right hand. And I. don't even think his right hand's his. power punch. I think it's his left hook. that's the big one. I bet the big one, the left hook is over 191. It's bananas. His power, it's not like anybody else. So when Izzy knocked that guy out, that.
you got to understand that's that's. different. That's different. He like. that's the top of the mountain. That's. the top of the mountain in the sport. It's like one of the greatest. accomplishments in the sport. Yeah, it. really is. Would you say Pon is the. fastest rise you've ever seen in the. UFC? Ever to two division world. champion? Yeah. No one's even close. because that guy never says no. They. call him up. You want to fight next. weekend? Yes. Oh, he's just wait. He just fights. He fought with a broken toe. He fought a.
broken hand the last time his hand was. broken and he had a neuroirus and he. still fought. Yeah, he's terrifying, dude. He's crazy. I remember when he. came to the mother ship and they were. like the security like it was terrifying. cuz he was like, I want to meet Joe now. And security were like I don't know what. to do. Yo, me and DC were in the hallway. upstairs in the mother ship and he's. teaching us how he checks the calf kick, how he throws the calf kick different. than everybody else and he's having. Pelino, his coach is translating. So, it. was me and DC and we're both standing.
there and you know that little area. where the elevator is where the VIP is. So, we're standing there in this little. crowded area. There's like five of us. and Poeton's kicking my legs and he's. kicking DC's legs and he's explaining. how he lifts his leg up this way and. this is how he checks it and you're. like, "Oh shit." And both DC and I would. do we tell people about this like I. don't even know if I want to give this. up. cuz this is like very good information. Wow. Like he he never gets hurt with. calf kicks and if he like the way he. checks them he does like a hacky sack.
thing. A lot of people are doing it now, but he was like one of the first guys to. figure that out that he does like this. hacky sack move. So when you go to kick. his legs, instead of just checking it. where he turns it into the kick, he. lifts his leg up and his leg just kind. of goes like this and the the kick just. goes, it just kind of grazes it. So it. never pounds on his calf the way he. pounds on theirs when it's just straight. and boom, you're getting that force. while you're playing it. But he also has. a different style. like he's not heavy. on the front leg cuz he like some guys. are heavy on the front leg cuz they want.
to take him down quick. So they want to. be able to like move and take him down. And those are the guys are going to have. a harder time getting away from that. kick cuz you got so much weight on that. leg. So he just thud thud thud and then. now your calf is numb, your foot is. limp, your foot's just dangling around. your ankle. Oh, that guy's terrifying, dude. And again, like how does a guy. like that go and become a regular. person? How do you how do you integrate. and just be a regular guy after that? Yeah, it's got to be very weird. Like. Sha's figured it out. Yeah, but Sha got.
lucky that he found podcasting, you. know, and he, you know, found his car. show, All Gas, No Brakes. So, like he he. found a way to transition and still have. a good time. Yeah. It's very few guys. cuz you see I I remember just the era of. watching Tyson go from fighting to. finding a rhythm. Yeah. You know, and. being in movies. There's like find. there's like fighters like Shaw, elite. fighter, you know, top 10 heavyweight in. the UFC. But then there's champions, world champions, guys who sell out. arenas, pay-per-view stars like Connor.
How's that guy go and be a regular. person? How do you do that? You can't. Yeah. It's like I mean they there's no. coaches for that where they teach you. how to reintegrate and become normal. Yeah. RP George Foreman, man. He feels. like the only one who was like, he found. the grill and was like, "Dude, I'm. [ __ ] He made a lot of money with that. grill." But he also came back when he. was 36. Yeah. Won it again, didn't he? Yeah. He He went all the way through. till he was 45 and he knocked out. Michael Moore, which was crazy. Like,
nobody did that back then. When he came. back at 36, I remember news articles. about it. I remember feeling sad. because I knew George Foreman when I was. a child like George Foreman on TV when. he knocked out Joe Frasier when uh Ali. beat him in Africa. That was a famous. story because Hunter S. Thompson went. there and he was supposed to uh watch it. and write a story for Rolling Stone. about it, but he was so sad that Ali was. going to get [ __ ] up that he decided. not to go to the fight. So he stayed in.
his hotel and just floated around the. pool and he [ __ ] up the whole. assignment. And it was kind of in the. documentary they say it was kind of like. a pivotal moment in the downturn of his. life where he kind of like [ __ ] his. life up. Really? Yeah. Because he failed. in his assignment. He didn't and back. then you couldn't watch the tape. You. know this we're talking about the 1970s. So after the fight's over, the fight's. over. You missed the fight. You don't. have a story. And so he didn't have a. story. And he went all the way to Africa. and just [ __ ] off because he was just. being silly. And they're like, "Oh my.
god, I'm a failure. I failed in my. story." And it was like a downturn in. his life kind of takes a dark turn after. that. God, it's crazy how much because. you hear that and it's that speech that. Ali gave, which is also one of the most. inspiring things ever when he's like, I. know you got them picked. I know you all. got him picked that, you know, he gets. that one. I'll show you how great I am. And it's like, wow, to hear that even. Hunter S. Thompson was like, oh, wow. The every casual must have been like, oh. Ali's about to get [ __ ] Well, you. got to understand, man, George Foreman. was a machine. He was different. You. ever seen George Foreman punch the heavy.
bag? No, bro. He punches the heavy bag. different than everybody cuz he winds. up. Not only does he wind up and punch. the heavy bag, he has it stay still and. he just hits it so hard and it's so. terrifying that that's all he has to do. in a boxing match. He just has to kind. of cover up and get close enough to just. wump you. Just wump wump. And a lot of. it is arm punches. Look at this. Listen. to this. Give me some volume. And he had. a trainer, Dick Sadler, tiny by. comparison to Foreman. And Sadler would. hang on to the heavy bag. When a Foreman.
would hit this this bag, Sadler would. just literally be kicked off his feet. Oh my. god. Foreman hitting the heavy bag is. one of the more prodigious sights I've. had in my life, it seems to me that of. all the people I've seen hitting heavy. bags, including Sunny Lon, no one ever. hit it the way Foreman did. So all he's practicing is hitting hard.
He's not trying to be slick. You notice. the difference? Yeah. But the way like. Canelo hits the heavy bag or Floyd hits. the heavy bag, they're working skills. Even when you see Tyson do it and that. head is going crazy. Tyson hit the heavy. bag better than anybody in the history. of the world. Better than anybody. Cuz. he hit the heavy bag with all these. crazy angles and speed. Speed like a. lightweight. Speed like a lightweight. He's bouncing, bro. 214 lbs. Moving like. a lightweight. Nobody was like that dude. I still.
maintain he's the greatest. I think for, you know, a lot of people [ __ ] on me. They say, "No way. You don't know [ __ ]. about boxing." I just think that run. when Customato was training him to the. title. Cus was already dead when he won. the title to like a few fights. afterwards. Losing Cus, he lost his way. a little bit, but but that run when he. was the man when he knocked out Marvis. Frasier, I think that's the greatest. heavyweight of all time. I don't think. anybody's even close. I think he [ __ ]. them all up. I think he [ __ ] them all. up if they fight him during that time.
People like to discredit things because. of the whole career, but they don't want. to give credit to a run. When you see. somebody have a run that's truly It's. all about the run. It's all about the. run. That's why I always put BJ Penn in. the list of alltime greats cuz during. that run when BJ Penn beat up Diego. Sanchez and when BJ Penn [ __ ] up Sean. Sherk and uh Joe Daddy Stevenson when he. did that I'm like that BJ Penn might be. the baddest [ __ ] alive. Like he. might be the baddest [ __ ] alive. Like he I would have put that BJ Pen I. would have loved to see that BJ Pen. versus Kabib. That would have been.
[ __ ] crazy. And a lot of people think. that's a ridiculous thing to say because. Kabib was so dominant and BJ lost a. bunch of times. Like you're right. argument. I accept I mean I'm not Kabib. might have beat him. He might have taken. him down and mauled him the same way. George St. Pierre did. He might have. Kabib is a big guy especially for. lightweight and his grappling skills are. unparalleled. Kabib grapples and does. fantastic with elite world championship. caliber amateur wrestlers. I've heard.
stories of Kabib dominating guys in the. gym at AKA that are elite wrestlers. That's how good Kabib is. So, he might. have been able to do that to BJ Penn, but BJ Penn might have got him, too. BJ. Penn might have got him. BJ Penn, especially when he was training with the. Marinoviches and he had an unstoppable. gas tank. Yeah. because uh he went and. trained with Marv Marinovich who was. like this psychopath football trainer. who had these like radical plyometric. training methods and you just all you. did was strength and conditioning. It. was like you know how to fight. Stop all.
this fight training. We're just going to. get you in the most in chain state. possible. And when they did that BJ Penn. was unstoppable. that BJ Penn if he. think if somebody could have coraled him. and got him to stay with that guy and. then train all his skills outside of. camp and then only train that way when. he had his world title fights and never. [ __ ] off. Who knows, man. Who knows? He. could have been the GOAT. He was so. talented, man. So talented that. [ __ ] BJ Penn won the Mundials. Okay, he was the first American to win.
the Mundials ever. The Mundial is the. world championships in Brazilian. jiu-jitsu. Okay. As a black belt, 3. years into training. 3 years into. training. First of all, it's insane to. get a black belt in 3 years. But to get. a black belt in 3 years and then win the. world championships is insane. Insane. And that's without even hearing the. context. That's crazy because I know. three years isn't long enough to do any. most things in life. I was a brown belt. for eight years. I was. And you were dedicated. It's not.
like you weren't busting your ass. I. just like, you know, you don't they. don't give those out, man. You have to. earn it. It has to be real. Unless. you're in a terrible gym, if you're at a. legit gym, yeah, you know, if I'm. training with John Machano doesn't give. out black belts. So, you got to be real. to get that. You got to choke a lot of. people to get that. And BJ Pen got in. three years. Three years. Yeah. That's. just natural gifts. God-given. It's. ability. He's an addict. He said it to. me like we had a conversation on the.
phone once. It was really funny. He. goes, "I was talking to this guy and he. was really young and he was like, you. know, like he goes,"BJ, I admire you. You know, I copy your style and this and. that." And he goes, "Man, you got so. good so quick." He goes, "Man, I'm like. you. I'm an addict." He goes, "I'm just. addicted to jiu-jitsu." And he's like, "Fuck, man." And then I realized that. that's it. I'm addicted to jiu-jitsu. I. got addicted to something really good. I'm addicted. And I was like, "That's. exactly what it is, right?" Yeah. Yeah. It's the same thing that can turn you. into a junkie. Unfortunately, just put.
that dial, spin that needle some towards. something else and it's over. I knew a. dude who was a world championship. caliber pool player. And um he was. squeaky clean. He ate well. He drank. water. He never drank alcohol. He didn't. smoke cigarettes. He didn't do drugs. Straight as an arrow, super focused. world championship caliber player. Then. he hurts his back in a car accident and.
they get him on those. pills and um falls apart. Man, gets. addicted to those pills the same way he. was addicted to being a pool player. Jeez. The same thing that made him just. obsess on pool where he's thinking about. pool so much he becomes like the. scariest guy to play. The same thing got. him with the pills and then he just. overdosed and died young. And but he was. like one time um my buddies were hanging. out with him and he fell asleep in his.
mashed potatoes. Just fell asleep in his. food. They were eating. He just just. grayed out on pills right into his food. They had to pick him up out of the food. like oh no. This is a guy that was like. straight as an arrow. Clean as a. whistle. Super focused. Always dressed. nice. Always looked good. You know? Yeah. Thin in shape. Just one just. focused. Click to the left. One click to. the left. one accident and then pills. and then no one understanding how. addictive those [ __ ] pills were. The. doctors never told you. Nobody nobody.
told anybody. You know, now when you see. like those documentaries of like how. people who just like broke a leg or. something and then they get them. addicted to pills and next thing you. know they lost their family, their job, everything. I have many people that I. know that that happened to. Many people. that I know that got injured, got on. pills and just lost their lives. jiu-jitsu guys, um, friends, a lot of. people, especially again, back before. the information was available. Now, everybody knows pain pills are super, super addictive. Everybody knows someone. in their family. Yeah. Everybody knows. someone that you just can't get off.
them. Everybody knows somebody that. died. I know multiple people that have. died from pain pills. Yeah. And so that's what got them. But. it's the same thing, man. But that. addiction is what makes you great. Yeah. Yeah. It's that thing in your head that. makes you obsess on something. That's. what it is. It's like this thing where. you're trying to figure this thing out. and you just want to get better at it. But that could be hijacked by gambling. That could be hijacked by video games. That could be hijacked by any anything. Pussing. I've seen guys Yeah. I've seen.
guys get Yeah. Rant all that stuff. Um. that's that seems normal to me. That. like makes sense like biologically. But. the gambling one is the craziest one to. me. Yeah. That's the weirdest one. because that might as well be heroin to. those people that they whatever they're. getting out of like risking $100,000 on. a football game and just swap them you. [ __ ] You [ __ ]. Watching people do that like oh. gives me so much anxiety. Oh in Vegas. and you're walking through a casino you. just see people at that slot machine and. they're just glazed over. It's like the.
dumbest version of it though. But the. big the risking everything on a game or. risking everything on like uh roll the. dice roulette like that kind of thing is. so nuts. It's so nuts to watch. It gives. me so much anxiety. Like you ever see. Uncut Gems, that Adam Sandler movie? One. of the best movies. I I've seen it a. hundred times, dude. So good. It's. unreal. And it just shows Adam Sandler. in a way of like, "Oh, this [ __ ]. can act act. He can for real act. For. real act." But yeah, that movie I. remember being in the theater and I'm.
with my wife and she's squirming and I. was like, "What's wrong? You all right?". And she was like, "This is making me. uncomfortable, Derek." Yeah. This is. making me [ __ ] uncomfortable. Super. uncomfortable. And I was like, "Yeah, this movie it was cuz it's the. adrenaline rush you're on. You feel like. you're gambling." Well, the movie's so. good. It bring it locks you in. Like we. were talking about like comedy is like. hypnosis. That movie was like hypnosis. get locked you into this character and. his decision-m and this this addiction. to gambling that he has and all the. shady characters around. Everybody's. pulling scams and everybody's doing this.
and that and there's always something. happening and there's few movies that. can lock you into a character like that. where you're like I don't even agree. with this person and and I'm so invested. and at the end of the movie you're like. what the [ __ ] Incredible. Spoiler. alert. But it's one of those what the. [ __ ] moments like what the [ __ ] Yeah, that movie I I shut it off and I was. just breathing heavy for 5 minutes. [ __ ] me. Oh, it's And it's it's I like a. movie like that, too, where you're like, "This feels real. This feels this feels.
like it could, like you said, happened. to my neighbor, happened to my best. friend." Like, this could happen to. anyone. You just get lost in this. Yeah. Your mind is weird, man. People's minds. are strange. Like, you know, minds can. go down these weird pathways, and it's. like most people don't have a good. management system for it either. So, it's like you're driving this car with. no traction control and too much. horsepower. It's flying all over the. road and you. know, and you're freaked out. You're. always on 10 like Yeah, dude. [ __ ]. Another movie that makes you feel that.
way is There Will Be Blood when you're. watching cuz that's the same where. you're watching a guy just go through. this life and you're like, I'm getting. uncomfortable. He's killing his fake brother and he's. [ __ ] you know what I mean? And by the. end, like you said, the ending of that. one as well where you're like, what the. [ __ ] the [ __ ] is this? I showed it to my wife and she was she. literally goes, "Derek, why the [ __ ] did. you show me that?" And I was like, "You. had to see it. You needed to experience. this." Yeah. It's how good this movie. is. It's an I love a movie like that. where give me an experience. That's one. of the greatest movies ever for.
experience. Just like for sheer like. just becoming that guy. Yes. He was that. guy. Like you believed every single. second of it. There was no soap opera. acting going on at all. No, dude. This. is my son HW. The way he talks. the way. he is. Oh my god. And then you see like. him deolve into this crazy bill cuz you. when we see crazy billionaires, we don't. really And it's like to see how a person. becomes a crazy billionaire cuz he's not. a regular guy at the beginning of the. movie. He falls, breaks his leg in that.
hole. You know what I mean? He's a. regular dude. There's a little element. of that guy in everybody that's a crazy. billionaire. There has to how do you get. there? You have to manage that the same. way everybody manages everything else. Like imagine like trying to manage being. Elon Musk. Imagine trying to manage. that. Imagine just trying to manage. that. I I don't know how he finds the. time. It doesn't make any sense. It. doesn't make any sense. Like it doesn't. even seem real. Like it could possibly. be real. Yeah. Cuz now he works for the.
government along with still trying to. get us to Mars and all these other cool. things he's doing. You know what I mean? And people are scrutinizing him at a. level like they want him to be perfect. in every way. And it's like you don't. get that out of these wacky geniuses. You don't get perfect. you you get. unbelievable capabilities mixed in with. all kinds of flaws that even he makes. fun of like you know he's even talked. openly about like uh self-inflicted. wounds that he gives himself on. Twitter he's posted about it with like.
laughter emojis like but he's having a. good time no matter what he is on that. would be like watching the there will be. blood guy also tweeting his thoughts r. you would see some [ __ ] you're like what. the [ __ ] Yeah. Well, he's not that way. He's not like murderous [ __ ]. psychopath who steals people's oil. I. drink your milkshake. He's not he's not that. No, but I just. the idea like you said, it's a little. bit in him. It has to be to conquer like. that. I feel like Well, I think his.
drive is different than most of them and. is his drive is accomplishments and. innovation. Like he's obsessed with. getting people to Mars. He's obsessed. with the engineering involved in what. they've accomplished already with. SpaceX. The ability to take a booster, shoot it off into space, and then the. booster comes down and lands and gets. caught with robot arms is so off the. charts beyond anything anyone else has. accomplished in the world of rocketry. and space science and all all the.
engineering involved. It's off the. charts. Like what SpaceX has done is. it's not appreciated enough because he's. so polarizing politically because of his. affiliation with Trump and because of. all the propaganda that has been spun. his way. There's some definite natural. reactions that people have to him that. are organic and real and they don't they. get upset at some of the things he does. That's real. But also, there's a. gigantic propaganda machine that's. trying to paint him as a literal Nazi. And they're they're doing it because.
they have a vested interest in keeping. all these NOS's and all their funding in. place exactly the same way it's always. been. And having a genius go into all of. your [ __ ] booking, bookkeeping, and. accounting is not good. If you've been. unchecked for decades and you have a. [ __ ] just an unstoppable budget and a. lot of waste and a lot of incompetence. and probably a bunch of fraud and theft, too. Of course. Yeah. I mean, they've. they've acknowledged that. You know, one.
of the things they said, which is. hilarious, they said he found I think it. was was it social security or Medicaid a. bunch of fraud? And then they were. saying, "Well, actually, the government. had already identified this two years. ago." Okay, but why didn't why didn't. you have this press conference and. say did you just cover it up? Did you. make a big deal? Did you stop it in its. tracks? Did you reverse it? Did you. prosecute people? Did you get the money. back? Why why are you saying yeah, we. already knew about that? Like that's not. good enough. Like what did what did you. do? How come you didn't find out about.
that $250 million that went to. transgender animal studies? Like you. didn't notice that one bit about that. $21 million to Iraq and Sesame Street. You didn't notice that? You didn't. notice like. [ __ ] like just so much of it is. kooky. It's so much money and these the. way NOS's and nonprofits work. I didn't. understand it. I didn't know that it's. all like cyclical money that's like. flowing around. There's billions of. dollars. It's just flowing around. It's. a lot of it's unchecked and they've been.
doing it forever. And that's why we're. $36 trillion in debt. You know, it's not. good. How How does it get that bad? I. don't know. But then then there's also. legitimate um arguments on the other. side. Like the other side is making a. very legitimate argument about the right. to due process if you get processed and. shipped out of the country and put in a. prison in El Salvador. You know what? What is the quote? Was it Benjamin. Franklin's quote about innocent and that.
better to allow 10 guilty people to go. free than one innocent person arrested? You know, I'm on that side of things. Yeah, that's my I mean, I think due. process exists for a reason. And the. reason is it is horrific for someone to. be accused of something they didn't do, be imprisoned for crimes they didn't. commit, and then live in a cell, live in. a cage with a bunch of people who did. commit [ __ ] Here it is. Benjamin. Franklin, it's better 100 guilty persons. should escape than one innocent person.
should suffer. That that is wisdom. Yeah. that has survived hundreds of. years. It's incredibly accurate and it. is the foundation of freedom. Like we. have to make sure that these people are. actually guilty otherwise we become. monsters. You can't like what is that. when you fight monsters be careful that. you don't become one. Become one. Yeah. Yeah. That's very important. It's very. important you know you can't do that. But also, you can't you also have to.
deal with the fact that the current. administration is dealing with the past. administration allowing known gang. members and terrorists to go right. through the border unchecked. That a lot. of them they know got through. They. don't know the exact numbers, but they. know there's millions and millions of. people illegally just walked through. unchecked. And a bunch of them have to. have criminal records. A bunch of them. have to be dangerous. and we've seen. crimes that have been committed. It. doesn't help anybody on the progressive.
side to deny the fact that that's a real. problem. And if it happens to your. family, god forbid, I don't want it to. happen to anybody's, but if it does, you. will feel a sting of regret if you. supported that unlike anything you've. ever experienced in your life. you'll be. like, I mean, it's, you know, it's one of those things. where to support one side of this, you. have to. deny some like basic human values. Either way, like to support just.
rounding people up and just assuming. they're all gang members. I don't I'm. not saying they're doing that, but this. is the worst case scenario, right? They. get a bunch of people in a room, they. rope them all in, and one guy is just. someone's cousin picking someone up to. give them a ride home. That's possible. And now you're back on the one innocent. person with now you're right back. And. what if that dude is not doing anything. wrong and he's got some stupid tattoos. and they decide that this guy's a gang. member and now now you're in a prison in. El Salvador and you're not even from El. Salvador and now you know you were just. a hairdresser or you a tattoo artist,
whatever you are and you came over here. and maybe you got a green card and maybe. you don't. Maybe you were just given. asylum because a lot of people from. Venezuela were given asylum in America. Yeah. and then you get shipped to El. Salvador where you're not even from El. Salvador. So that the fact that that. exists scares the [ __ ] out of me. But. also the fact that they were just. letting terrorists and gang members flow. freely into the country is [ __ ]. horrible. And when you talk about. innocent people, what about the innocent.
people that got murdered by terrorists. and and well, not terrorists, that. really hasn't happened, but gang members. and this trender wagua that were taking. over those apartment buildings in. Aurora, Colorado and like that's scary. [ __ ] man. Armed with machine guns. taking over apartment buildings. Like, what are we talking about here? Like, what are we talking about? You You're. letting that happen? You're not sending. in the troops to stop this? Yeah. And. you think that wouldn't in your head. you're like that can't happen in. America. In Colorado, bro. They got a. guy that had done that in California and.
they refused to deport him because they. said that California is a sanctuary. state. They're like fighting to keep a. known gang member free in America. The. whole thing is bananas. It's like almost. like you don't want to go full tinfoil. hat Sam Tripley style and just decide. that they're trying to destroy America. But if I was going to try to destroy. America, that's how I would do it. Yeah. take over the political process in. impart censorship on all the social. media like uh gaslight people to no end.
Consistently do it. Astroturf stadiums. filled with people pretending they. support something. Pay them to be there. Manufacture a movement and slowly but. surely bring chaos to all the cities. allow uh DAs to get elected that are the. worst when it comes to protecting people. and the best when it comes to freeing. violent criminals and that that's the. really their gold and they can do it on. they could just use words like racial. justice like just send out send.
murderers back out into the streets you. just create chaos defund the police. defund now you have no police like if I. wanted to destroy America I would do it. this way I mean that sounded what you. just described sounds like a China plan. like a plan from another place that's. like oh if you wanted to destroy America. if we really wanted to. Yeah. Not with. war, but let's just slowly let them kill. themselves type stuff and then have them. at each other's back uh at each other's. throats rather, you know, constantly. have them fighting over political. issues. Let's get rid of Roie Wade. They're a little too too happy right. now. Get rid of Roie Wade. Then the.
liberals are up in arms. How you. [ __ ] Which was getting rid of. Roie Wade was actually a good move if. you were a Democrat because then people. get upset and then they really want to. vote. Like you could probably ignite a. lot of people. And that was like uh. there was some famous videos. There's. one famous video of this lady. celebrating that uh Kla Harris was going. to win and she was like reproductive. freedom. Women came out to vote in. unprecedented numbers. It was I'm sure. you've seen it. It's a video of this. lady mocking this guy working at a. liquor store. No. You ever seen it? Uhuh. See this.
It's so good. It's so good because it's. like this this lady and the way she's. talking like you can't be a good person. and talk to someone this way or even. about someone this way and be happy in. the way you're happy. Yeah. Like it's. like people like to be shitty to people. and think that it's justifiable to be. shitty if that person disagrees with. you. So you can be shitty where the guy. in this story is not being shitty to her. at all, but she's being super shitty to. this guy. And uh but she's talking about.
reproductive rights because like that. was like one of the big things that got. people to come out and vote for the. Democrats. Yeah. Like if I was if I was. playing 4D chess and I was a Democrat, I. was like this is what we do. Get rid of. ourselves. Get rid of ourselves. Get rid. of Got to get rid of that. And then. campaign on that. Okay. Now we got all. the women pissed off because women don't. want men telling them what to do. [ __ ]. you can't get pregnant. Shut the [ __ ]. up. Shut the [ __ ] up. Just shut the [ __ ]. up until you can get pregnant. Shut the. [ __ ] up. You know, it's like this. So. this lady, you got it, Jamie. You find.
this video. It's so funny. This poor. lady, but it's about reproductive. rights. Like she's she's saying that and. it was in a lot for a lot of people, but. that was a big one. So like you would do. that. You would do that. You would get. rid of that. You would try to get rid of. the Second Amendment. [ __ ] the Second. Amendment. We're going to get rid of all. our guns. Oh, the [ __ ] gun guys. Get. up for the Republicans, you know? And. then, you know, you would say, uh, we. need open borders because we need the. our society is population collapse. And. they're starting to say things like that. and we need, uh, you know, who's going. to pick cotton?
They're essentially they're essentially. marketing it because they're saying. Americans don't want these jobs, so we. have to bring people in to pick our. crops. Who's going to clean your your. toilets? People are openly saying that, like not realizing how racist. I. remember that lady, one white lady, she. told him that she was like, "Who's going. to clean your toilet if they get rid of. all the Mexicans?" It's like, "What the. fuck?" Who said that? One of those crazy. view [ __ ] She's one of them. Or at. least a show like that. You know what I. mean? Yeah. Hilarious. So, there was. that going on. If you wanted to like. destroy society and make it worse, what.
would you do? You bring people in from a. third world country. Don't have them. change anything. Financially incentivize. them to be there. Give them free money. while you're not helping the poor people. in America. They were giving them de. debit cards, free housing, free food. Yeah. Putting them up in the Roosevelt. Hotel in New York City. Why you old. [ __ ] If you want to destroy society, that's how you would do it. That's how. you would do it. I mean, that sounds you. would just keep like it's going in that. direction. So, the problem with things. that are going in a radical direction. and then then there's an overcorrection.
So, the overcorrection is lack of due. process. The overcorrection is like. round them all up, ship them to jail. Like that's like some things that you. say when you're not thinking things. through. Like what do you do about all. the criminals? Take them all. [ __ ]. send them to El Salvador. Yeah. What. what about due process? No. [ __ ] that. Well, here's the problem with [ __ ] that. What if you are an enemy of let's not. say any current president. Let's pretend. we got a new president, totally new guy. in. 2028. And uh this is a common practice.
now of just rounding up gang members. with no due process and shipping them to. El Salvador. Um you're a gang member. No, I'm not. Prove it. What? I got to go. to court. No. No due process. That's dangerous, Joe. That's dangerous. That's dangerous. That's dangerous. That's We got to be careful that we. don't become monsters while we're. fighting monsters. But then again, you. got to find these [ __ ] that are. here that have terrorist cells and that. are ready to [ __ ] blow up malls in.
Dallas and and do crazy [ __ ] which. definitely they've thwarted before. Yeah. So, like this is the best argument. for um intelligence agencies is that. there's real threats, you know, like for. someone to say, "Fuck all the CIA, [ __ ]. the FBI." What are you crazy? Who's. going to investigate real threats? like. the real world exists. As much as you. want to pretend that the, you know, that. we can all go kumbaya tomorrow if we all. just lay down our arms. No, there's. people that are 48 years old and.
dedicated to crime. They've been dedicated to crime in. Guatemala and now they're here, you. know, and now they're selling fentanyl. and they're not going to stop. Okay. They don't give a [ __ ] Yeah. and. they're on EBT cards where you're. getting money from the government uh for. free every month because you're in a. sanctuary city and you get free food and. you're a criminal. And then one of them. like two of them assaulted cops in New. York City and then got out. Got free. No. cash bail. No cash bail. You just get. out. They assaulted cops and then.
they're on the street giving the Tupac. to the camera. You ever see that? No, it. was amazing. First of all, we got to. show you the Kamel Harris lady. Did you. got the Kl Harris lady? Can't find it at. all. You can't find it? They probably. scrub it from the internet. I don't I. mean, she's being shamed and not sure. what to look for, but you're putting the. T hat on my head, right? We don't have. to show it. Um, it's because we've. already showed it a bunch of times. It's. how you would do it if you wanted to. destroy America. I'm not saying so the. question becomes like how much of it is. our own folly? How much of it is just.
natural human. behavior? How much of it is like the. right wants law and order so we don't. want law and order. The right wants to. punish prisoners. We want to No, that's. it's racist racism. You know, it's like. what is it? That's just teams fighting. That's But also, I feel like it's. manipulated as well. And maybe more so. than anything else, I feel like it's. manipulated. And again, if you wanted to. turn us into China, and what I mean by. that is a country that's facial.
recognition everywhere, social credit. score system that's attached to all of. your banking, your ability to travel, everything you do. If you make anything. online that's against the government, you could be disappeared. You could be. locked up. You could be made a political. prisoner. You know, this is It felt like. we were heading that way. Yeah. I think. this is something that I think it was. Mezer that said this. No, it was Duncan. that said this about Ukraine and Russia.
He was like, "Do you realize like the. the Ukrainians that we're killing or. that rather the uh Russians that we're. killing uh by sending over arms and. money to fund the Ukrainians. not saying. that we shouldn't do this, but he's. saying that a lot of those guys are. being forced to go to the front line, and a lot of those guys are prisoners. who get released in order to fight. So, what if you're a prisoner because you. wrote a bad tweet against Putin and they. lock you up and then all of a sudden.
Ukrainians are killing you with American. weapons because you tweeted bad against. Putin. So, it's Putin's way of like. eliminating Yeah. any any dissent from. like and they don't even arrest that. many people online in comparison to or. for doing things online in comparison to. the UK. The UK is getting in on it full. steam ahead. The UK is arresting people. for anything that makes people. uncomfortable online. They show up at. your house and just [ __ ] arrest you.
They've arrested like how many people. have been arrested in the UK for social. media posts in the last year? You You're. going to It's going to blow your mind. It's going to blow your mind. This is. just posts on social media like get, you. know, we need to send these illegal. immigrants back saying [ __ ] like that. Yeah, you get arrested. Arrested. Hate. crimes. Even if I'm joking, even if I'm. maybe I'm just [ __ ] having There's no. jokes. No jokes online anymore. Not in. the UK. Not only that, but the guy who's. the head of the UK, they're saying now.
that they could potentially arrest. Americans who have posted things online. when they visit the. UK. Yeah. I was reading a post about. this like this could this law could. potentially be used in this way that if. you are a person in America and you're. posting horrible [ __ ] about the UK. government or the immigrant problem or. whatever they have um context available. information exact figures 2025 not fully. comprehended 2023 20 in 2023.
12,183 arrests were made across 37. police forces in the UK under section. 127 of the communications act 2003 three. in section one of the Malicious. Communications Act in 1988, equating to. about 33 arrests per day. Laws cover. sending grossly offensive, indecent, obscene, or menacing messages via. electronic communication networks, which. includes social media posts and also. DMs. DMs. So, people get arrested for.
horrible DMs that nobody gets to see. other than the friend that you're. sending it to. Supposedly, you have no. idea what the content is. That's crazy. came into this one time uh recently. It. said that a lot of people may have been. arrested, but many of them were not. prosecuted and were released. But it's. still after, right? Okay, that's cute. It's still horrifying because what. you're doing is scaring people into. compliance. They don't want to be. arrested again and they certainly don't. want to risk being prosecuted, but. they're they're forcing people to censor. themselves. I read it said that they were breaking.
the law. I don't know which law break. Well, no, they they do have a law that. there there is they don't have freedom. of speech the way we have in America. So, they do have these hate speech laws. So, they are breaking a law. But the. question is, should that law exist? And. I say, no. No, that law should not. exist. You shouldn't be able to put. someone in a cage for saying, and some. of them are not that offensive. Some of. them are pretty [ __ ] calm. Here, only a. 1,119 sentences occurred for these. offenses. Okay. But the problem is now.
now go look at how many people were. arrested in Russia for social media. posts and it's drastically less. But we. think of Russia as being the the country. that censors people and China and Russia. which they do which they do. You can't. criticize Putin. You can't go balls out. You're risking your life. You're in real. trouble. Not not excusing that. But what. they're doing in the UK is at a higher. level of magnitude. I mean, maybe. they're not torturing people and sending.
them to the front line of Ukraine, but. they are putting the fear of being. arrested in people if you say something. that they don't want you to say on. social media. The jump from 2016 to 2023. is crazy. Look at Russia 2023, 54. people. So, in the time where 12,000. people were arrested in the UK, 54. people were imprisoned for online hate. speech. But this also says information. isn't very Russia's 100% accurate with.
their easy to fly. Shut up, Jamie. From 2010 to 2024, Nova, Gazetta, Europe. reported over 30,000 criminal and. administrative cases related to social. media posts with about 1,200 being. criminal cases. So they had,200 criminal. cases. Common charges include extremism, inciting hatred, or insulting state. symbols. That's that's where it gets. sketchy. I can't even make fun of the. the flag or a monument. I can't make fun. of it. Nope. Insulting. Making fun is.
insulting. There's no room for humor in. uh a communist country. UK sucks, dude. I mean, but it's not, you know, Russia. is not communist really anymore. It's. really um it's a military dictatorship. essentially. I mean, Putin was the. president and you could only do a. certain amount of time and then he. stopped being the president. You say, "Fuck it, I'm the president again." And. then no one's gonna win going against. him. I mean, they have elections, but. what are you doing? The guys wind up. getting poisoned and shot and like it's.
old school. Yeah, he's [ __ ] It's old. school. He's running that place. It's. his. That's his. You're not taking over, man. I seen that picture of him, you. know, shirtless on a horse. I'm like, don't [ __ ] with this dude. Yeah, he's a. killer. He's a former KGB killer. Like, he's like the real deal. He's a judo. black belt. He's a [ __ ] He's a bad. man, you know? like you don't and he. runs that country and they arrest less. people. Yeah. What the [ __ ] is going on. in the UK? They're they're leaning into. the same direction that I was talking.
about that was scaring me about America. I feel like there's a plot there's a. plot to diminish the fabric of society. Like if you want Okay, let's let's just. look at the whole overall world and is. it fair? It's definitely not fair. There's clearly there's a reason why. these people in these third world. countries want to come to Europe and why. they want to come to America because. it's better here and it's better there. and they want a better life. I get it. But why are they fleeing where they came. from? Well, a lot of runners, we bombed.
the [ __ ] out of those places. We bombed. the [ __ ] out of those places. We drone. bombed them. We overthrew uh. democratically elected governments with. coups. There's a lot of instability. that's caused by us. Like, well, it's. our fault. We got to take these people. in. I think instead of [ __ ] up this. one country by letting everybody come in. and drag it down to a third world. country, I think a better solution is. figure out a way to prop up these other. countries. The same way, I mean, in a.
simplistic version of it, like if you. want everything for yourself, you're. selfish. But you want everything for all. your boys, too. And everybody everybody. gets better. Yeah. The whole world gets. better. So instead of like shipping off. jobs to Mexico where they get a dollar a. day, um maybe pay them real money. Pay them. what you're supposed to be paying them. Maybe give them healthare. Maybe give. them maybe if you are an American. citizen and you want to hire someone to. do something, you have to hire someone. under the same structure of ethics that. we agree to in the United States.
Period. Yes. Period. For all humans all. over the world. And if their the money. translates lower because the American. dollar is worth more, okay, but balance. it out. Make it that you know they can. afford food, they can afford housing, they can afford healthcare. Make laws. agree where we're and then you all of a. sudden you prop up the whole world and. the whole world stops you stop having. third world countries including in the. United States. Like why do we still have.
ghettos? What? Why have we put all this. money into funding all these different. things with like US aid all over the. world? And the south side of Chicago has. the same amount of murders every year, if not more. More every year. Every. year. Baltimore, same place. We had a a. a cop in once way back in the day that. um he uh was a cop in Baltimore and. while they were working one day he found. a wrap sheet like a arrest sheet of all. these different crimes that were. committed in all these different areas.
from like the. 1970s and it was all the same [ __ ]. that's happening today and he realized. like oh my god it's never going to end. like you're never going to fix this. It's all the same problems in the same. areas and nothing's being done. The same. drug arrest, the same violence, the same. this, the same that. All in the same. places and all in these areas. mysteriously, all in these same areas. that had been redlined during the Jim. Crow era where black people couldn't buy. houses where the white neighborhoods.
are. They had to buy houses in one area. and those areas are [ __ ] And no one's. corrected it. No one's now. It doesn't. make sense. But I do you think that's. just that that hard to let go that. feeling of I have to be better than some. like it's nice to know you're doing. better than somebody else. It's just. something about human beings that they. like. I think it's convenient to ignore. people that you're not going to profit. from. You know, if you are investing a bunch. of money in green energy or you're. investing a bunch of money in whatever. stupid [ __ ] you're doing with windmills,
like someone's making money. There's a. lot of people making money. There's. money being exchanged. If you're fixing. Southside of Chicago, if you're like. creating community centers and you're. like ro robust education and counseling. and providing mentorship and paths to. jobs and giving people like an. opportunity to make real money that's. enticing so they don't want to sell. drugs or kill people. Like how many how. are you making money doing that? You're. not. And so people don't do it. It's. that simple. But it's like what you just. said. Everyone would naturally if. everyone's doing good the world would.
naturally rise. Exactly. But it would. take time. I guess you're right. It's. not a direct generation. It would take. generations, but it's there's no effort. being done to it. So this guy that's. seeing these crimes that were committed. in the same area in Baltimore in the. 1970s, you know, this is in the 2000s. He's seen the same [ __ ] He's like, this. is crazy. Like this is just this is a. this is the real systemic racism. This. is the real like problem in this it's. not it's not like black people can't. make it in America. No, no, no, no, no. It's like there's an echo of past.
atrocities that exists in these pockets. that's not being addressed. It's never. been healed. Yeah. It's never been. healed. And there's a convenience in. allowing it to stay that way. Like you. can count on them to vote a certain way. If you keep giving them welfare, if you. keep giving them food stamps, that the. people that want that are always the. Democrats. So those people are always. going to vote Democrat for you. So like. you're it's within your best interest to. not make them like conservative. Republicans or like very disciplined and. work real hard and get to the gym at. 4:30 before they show up at work at 7:00.
and we're kick some ass and make some. [ __ ] money. Wilson, you know, you. don't want that. It's convenient because. then they'll vote for you every time. Soon as they start making money and. realize like what is the government. spending my [ __ ] taxes, that's what. changes you immediately the moment you. make some money. Oh, you you become a. Republican. Oh, dude. Yeah. Hippies that. I know became Republicans after they. started making money. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz 50% of your money and you're living. in a shitty You're like, "Wait, I don't. Hold on. What?" And you're letting. criminals out. You're like, "What is.
happening? Why does my car keep getting. broken into? Like, what do you do? Why. are there people camped in front of my. [ __ ] house? I gave you 50% of my. money." Yeah. This is crazy. Dylan has a. great bit about it. About uh the. California offering tax uh breaks for. people that take a homeless person into. their house. He's the man, dude. It's one of the. clips that he put up because he's got a. new special that's out now. Yeah. That. he filmed at the mothership, but it's. it's so funny and so true. It's like. they're just trying to destroy society. What better way to destroy your house?
You have a wife and child. What better. way to destroy your house than to bring. some fentanyl addict in? This is how you. got to create more chaos. And then. California is trying to pass a new law. This is being proposed where if someone. breaks into your house and threatens. your life, you're not allowed to shoot. them. in your house. Imagine someone breaks. into your house and is trying to get. you. Has a knife coming towards you. You're not allowed to kill him. What am. I allowed to do? You're supposed to run. away. This hasn't passed yet,
but they There's no way it can. That's. That doesn't even It's so crazy, dude. It's so crazy. It's so crazy. It's. almost like they're trying to destroy. people's confidence in law enforcement, confidence in community. the feeling of. being safe, ramp up everybody's level of. anxiety, and then offer a solution. And. the solution is to disarm. everybody. The solution is to clamp down. further and further on gun laws, make it. very difficult to have a gun. You can't. have magazines more than 10 rounds. You.
can't concealed carry. You can't do. this. You can't do that. If you have it. in your car, you have to have the. bullets in the trunk and the the Yeah. Yeah. The pistol supposed to be locked. up. Yeah. There's all these crazy laws. that are just slowly but surely trying. to take away your and you can say no. those laws to keep people from road rage. and shootings and criminals commit. crime. Laws don't stop criminals from. breaking laws. Laws keep lawabiding. people from protecting themselves.
That's damn. That's the fact. That's the. fact. Criminals going to do it anyway. They they the gun's illegal. the [ __ ]. the the the identification number I've. been sawed off. Like what are you. talking about? They've also like you. said they've been driven to that point. If I'm at that point Yeah. There is no. rule that's going to stop me. There's no. rule. Have you ever seen that show. trafficked? Uh this is a amazing show called. Trafficked. And um they went down to uh.
LA and they followed these rogue cops. who are bringing guns into Mexico and. selling them. Whoa. Yeah, as one of the episodes. That's [ __ ] crazy. Yeah. Mariana. Venzeller is incred. She's amazing. She's been in the podcast a few times. She's brilliant. Fearless. This lady, she went to Colombia into the jungle. where they were making coke and then. went with the mules, hiked it out with.
backpacks full of coke. They had. backpacks and she followed them and. hiked it out. They showed her how they. make the coke, where they make the coke. Yeah. This is Look, they changed the. wording on this bill. Oh, interesting. The bill was this is this where it's. scratched out. Scratched out bar says. the bill would eliminate certain. circumstances under which homicide's. justifiable including amongst others in. defense of a habitation or property. The. bill would additionally clarify. circumstances in which homicide is not.
justifiable including among others when. a person uses more force than necessary. to defend against a danger. What does. that mean? That means you shoot a guy. more than once. I I got to know he's. down. Right. But you killed him instead. of just shooting him. That's what. they're saying. But you don't under what. this bill this bill is like not. understanding fight or flight and. violence and the chaos of uh you're. realizing your life or your family life. you just want to shoot that person. This. well this is what it says about that. part. Okay. The bill would eliminate.
that provision. The bill would also. specify certain circumstances in which. homicide is not justifiable including. when a person was outside their. habitation or property and did not. retreat when they could have safely done. so. when a person used more force than a. reasonable person would. So that right. there, listen to that. A person was. outside their habitation or property and. did not retreat when they could have. safely done so. Meaning if someone's. breaking into your house, you don't you. you're on the outside of the house. You. don't go into the house to confront.
them. You retreat. You're supposed to. retreat. What if I have family in the. house? That's a good question. That's f. This rule already is like, well, this. doesn't make sense. It says it specifies. the circumstances. So that might be, you. know, but no, but Jamie, you would do in. the context of the sentence. The spill. would also specify certain circumstances. in which homicide is not justifiable, including including when a person was. outside their habitation or property. But it's not like it's not if you're. outside, it's saying you have to try to. retreat. Right. But right, but what if. someone's in your home? That doesn't.
clarify that there circumstances when it. still could be. It's just that there's. certain circumstances when it's not. justifiable. It still could be, right? But the certain circumstances is listed, including when a person I understand was. outside. I'm just saying he he brought. up a situation. It's obvious. It's. obvious. I'm just saying I read I'm. reading. This is not necessary. And did. not retreat when they could have safely. done so when a person used more force. than a reasonable person. That's so. subjective. You don't know. I don't know. what that's not a real thing. What about. Tim Kennedy? Is he reasonable? It's not.
a reasonable [ __ ] What about Jaco? Is. Jaco reasonable? Yeah. But people have. to But people have to keep their cool. What' you say, Jimmy? It's when you want. a good jury, too. Good luck. I'm just. saying. Good. Why would you count on. that? I'm not saying you're counting on. I'm just saying that's why you want one. I didn't say that's why you need one. I. said that's why you want one. Uh don't. If I was a judge, I'd say you're. argumentative. However, uh the bill. would specify that homicide is. justifiable if the initial aggressor. aggressor actually and in good faith.
tried to stop fighting and indicated. they wanted to and tried to stop. fighting as specified. or in cases of. mutual combat, the initial aggressor. gave the opponent an opportunity to stop. fighting. So if someone starts [ __ ]. you up and then gives you an opponent, it gives you an opportunity rather to. stop fighting and you don't you keep. fighting them and kill them, but they've. already started fighting with you. They've already like that's you're in. danger zone. like to be reasonable while. your life is in danger is to open. yourself up to getting [ __ ] up because.
it's like no no come on man was like. bang [ __ ] and you're out cold. like you've you've already engaged in. violence it's so subjective whether or. not you should stop or not stop. Like. when you should stop is when that. person's 100% incapacitated. And that. might mean kill them if you don't know. what's going to stop them. If you have a. gun and someone is charging at you with. a [ __ ] machete and you bang bang bang. while they're still alive and that winds. up killing them, you could have just.
shot them once. You could be in front of. a jury and they could say, "You could. have stopped with the first bullet." And. then you have a coroner says, "Yes, the. first bullet was fatal." Or, "Yes, the. first bullet would have stopped him, but. he shot him two additional times." Like, now you're in jail. Now you're in jail. because you were in terrified of your. life and you thought you were gonna die. and you did something in a split moment. where you're not even thinking straight. Like you're. you're to to ask an accountant to keep. his [ __ ] together in a like if you ask a.
Navy Seal to keep his [ __ ] together and. they're they're [ __ ] they're probably. like, "Oh, finally someone broke into my. house." Oh, this [ __ ] Yeah. But. but some guy actually did try to break. into Tim Kennedy's house and he he you. know, he didn't even hurt the guy. He. just said, "You made a giant mistake. Came up with a gun and got rid of the. guy." That's like those guys who start. bar fights with UF like with UFC dude. You know, you see those kind of videos. where you're like, "Oh, the Joe. Schilling one, right?" Oh, he bumps him. He kind of like some like dude is.
dancing and just being a dick and then. he gets him at the bar and just bump. dude dude tried to get him to flinch. like like that. Yeah, he jumped at him. He jumped at him and he just ding ding. ding. The wrong dude. You mean that's. karma? Yeah, that's almost like that. those things like almost make me feel. like we're in a. simulation. Like that that's supposed to. happen in that order, you know, like. when someone just hits a level of. douchiness and and just you're supposed. to run into Joe Schilling. That's the. perfect karmic response to like a.
negative and a positive and a thing, you. know, like in and out. We just I just. feel like we have to be really careful. in this country that we don't get more. divided u by all this [ __ ] political. chaos that we're experiencing. We got to. be real careful like as human beings. that we don't fall prey to that. It's. just not it's not smart for anybody. No, dude. It's not smart. And we're just so. much unnecessary conflict, you know? Well, it's usually and it's just people.
picking that one side and like you said. like you can't of course I don't think. people should be coming to the country. and all that stuff. But I also do think. women should be able to do what they. want with the [ __ ] baby in their. stomach. You know what I mean? Up to a. point of a point of course like you said. if some woman got raped and she's. pregnant now like yeah let her what are. we doing right now? What are we doing? What are we doing? Where's the human. aspect of it? And then also like if you. don't feel for people that walked here. with their babies because they just want. to get a job as a landscaper like I have. it I just but how do you know you know.
like I think the process for getting. people in should be but it's also it's. like how many can we support? Like what. what what kind of a strain is this on. social security? What kind of a strain. is this on Medicare? You know have have. this been and is there a way to like. make where they're from better? And. wouldn't that like increase revenues? Like if if all of a sudden you had. another country right next door that's. buying and trading and making tons of. money, wouldn't that be better for. everybody? Yeah. Like if they stopped.
being a third world country and became a. first world country, wouldn't that like. be like super beneficial? Has that never. come up in any of these of like, oh, why. don't we just try to make this place a. better place? This is what you got to. realize when it comes to politicians. Most of them are already dead or on. their way unless you're JD Vance. He's. really young. Tulsi Gabbard's young. [ __ ] Most of these people when you're. in office like Trump is almost 80. Biden. Did you see what Biden said yesterday? What' he say? Oh, Jamie, did you see it?
[Music]. They let him talk. He's like what? 80. something 90. Out of nowhere, they let. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're letting him. talk and I'm like, who's letting him. talk? This is crazy. Here, here, I'll. send you this, Jamie. It's so silly. He's He's [ __ ] gone, bro. He's gone. They let him talk. They just let him get. out in the open and put a microphone in. front of his place, his face. But I. guess like as a former president, you. can kind of request. I like a make my.
mine. One day just had just a enough. mixture. They filled them up with enough. peptides. Got a little pepist. Feeling. good. Yeah. as a former. president. Get out of here. I forget. about things. Listen, let give you some. volume and go full screen because this. is you got to see his face in pull into. the. parking and I had never seen I'd never. seen a hardly any black people in. Scranton at the time when I and I was. only going in fourth grade and I.
remember seeing the kids going by at the. time called colored kids on a bus going. They never turned right to go to. Claymont High School. I wondered why. Asked my mom, why? Why? So in Delaware, they're not allowed to go to school in. public school with white kids, honey. That sparked my sense of outrage. as a kid, just like it does. I mean, and. these young kids right here can tell you. things affect them when they learn about. something that's really just unfair and. unjust.
You know, my dad my dad was an honorable. man. And my dad used to have an. expression. He said, "Joey, your job's. about a lot more than a paycheck. It's. about your dignity. It's about respect. It's about being able to look your kid. in the eye and say, "Honey, it's going. to be okay and mean. it." That's what you're all about. That's what the That's what the. legislation's about. It's about dignity. Simple.
dignity. Everyone Everyone deserves to be treated. with dignity regardless of their. standing, regardless of economic. history, regardless who they are. Yeah. Making sure that more than 60. million. Americans who are living with. disabilities are treated with dignity. It's the who we are as Americans. That's. what it's about. I hope he does more. We should have him. at the mothership. Yeah, we got him. Let. him go up. Give him 10. Give him a at.
school in their communities. Give him a. drink. He might die. Corner of American. life. Laws like the ADA need advocates. like you. No, you can tell he got something. He. took something that morning. He was. fired up. He's feeling good. They got. him on a good dose. Had a nice nap. Nice. nap. But it's crazy to let him do that. because now we know he wasn't really. running the country. Yeah. We used to. think he was actually running the. country and now they're like, "No, he. didn't even see those executive orders.".
Like that was all auto penned. He didn't. even sign those things. Yeah, it is. crazy how weird. Auto pen's a weird. thing. How lazy are you, [ __ ] How many. How many How many things are you signing. that you have to auto pen things? That's. crazy that you can auto The whole thing. is supposed to be signature. Yeah, that's that's your job. That's also. That's the thing. That's your job. You. read it. You go over it, you make sure. it's right, and you sign it. The [ __ ]. are you doing? What are we pay? I don't. understand [ __ ] [ __ ] are we doing? What. are we doing? How are you autopinning. [ __ ] That's the crazy thing about all. those pardons. Yo, there's like how many.
pardons did he have? I think he had. 9,000 pardons and it was all. autopinned. So, it's like everybody was. like this. If I had to imagine like. worst case scenario, I'm not assuming or. accusing anybody doing this, but I would. imagine if you got a hold of that auto. pen, you'd be like, "Yo, yo, yo, I got. the auto pen." Like, uh, who needs all. the boys is out. I need money. You know, I'm trying to get rich and uh you're. trying to get free and uh let's get. something.
rolling button. I mean, how many time. First of all, if you can't be tried. because they decide that you're mentally. incapable of standing trial, that's what. they said about him. They were going to. try him on some uh classified documents. case. They said the the judge ruled that. he was incapable of standing trial. While he was running for president for. the second term, while he was running. for president, they were saying he's. incapable standing trial. So, if we're. saying that there's something wrong with. him cognitively, but we're still.
allowing him to give people pardons. Like if he can't if he's not sane. enough, if he's not there enough to. stand trial, defend himself. How could. he be there enough to decide whether or. not someone deserves a pardon? That. seems insane. And then how could you use. the auto pen? He's like, "What about that guy?" Yes, pardon him. What about that guy? Let him. off. He deserves it. Like. this 9,000. There's no way. If you have.
all the time in the world, how are you. going over 9,000 cases? Most of those. were the marijuana releases. Well, that's nice. Federal, how many of them? 6500 or so. Oh, that's nice. But. autopinning, it is. When you think about. what that means, that is crazy. That's. crazy. Yeah. It's just Is that [ __ ] for. sale? Pardons are crazy anyway. You just let. somebody out of jail cuz you're the. king. The king. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] that.
[ __ ] that trial. Yeah, [ __ ] that jury. You're free, bro. I I don't mind it. Yeah, that's that's crazy power. Let. people out of jail, you know, in mass. numbers, what was the total? I'm trying. to find the exact number. Okay, cuz. 9,000 6,500 I agree with. I agree with. all those marijuana ones. Well, yeah, those that's not a real thing. I feel. bad. the craziest [ __ ] that there were. people in Colorado that were in jail for. selling marijuana, looking out the.
window of their prison to marijuana. dealerships, selling. marijuana legally in nice packaging. Nice with barcodes on it. Little cartoon. characters smiling when they're high on. them. Snoop Dog on the cover of a bag. Yeah. Oh my. See, that's the good thing. about progressive governments, right? progressive governments like Colorado, they they realize that people's right to. experiment with all kinds of different. things, including alcohol, but also like.
you should have the freedom to take. things. You should have the freedom to. explore your own consciousness. And. Colorado agreed with that real early. You know, that's the good thing about. progressive governments and that's the. bad thing about a lot of conservative. governments. They want to stop you from. doing that. You know, they want to. prosecute people for that [ __ ] grass. That dirty. Where's your dope? You're. [ __ ] dope. Yeah. They don't like it. when your mind opens up a little bit. But you said it earlier. Oh man, if we. could just get everybody on mushrooms,
everybody might love each other and all. these things. Yeah. Think that way. though. 8,000. A record setting number includes a. collective act of over 6,500 individuals. for marijuana possession convictions. So, it's really not like he has more. than anybody else. So, it just looks like Yeah, it looks. like more than everybody else. because um it's just 6,500. He actually. only released 1,500 then. Yeah, look at. Andrew Johnson. It ended up being closer.
to 9,000 I think at the end of the day. like 2500. So, even then 2500 not pretty. normal. Yeah. Like how many did um um. Obama did? Uh almost 2,000. There's a. different list I had for What about. Trump? Uh, he did 1500 on the first day. because we're all the January 6 people. How come Trump didn't free Joe Exotic? Let him go with the Tiger King. Tiger. King three. We made it. He only needed. 230 on the first term, it says. Oh, only. 237. That's not a lot. Oh, so the new.
one when he came back, he pardoned 1500. individuals connected to general. They. keep saying capital riots. Yeah. Um, but why? Andrew Johnson, 8,000. bars. That's what it said. Andrew. Johnson, 1900. Sold those [ __ ] He. did for for silver. coins sitting in his [ __ ] bathtub. with all these silver coins. But that's crazy that pardons were going.
back all the way to George Washington. Yeah. How many did George Washington. have? A lot, right? 1,700. Is that what. it said? Uh, good old George. Yeah. It's crazy. I. just got into that stuff because I saw. Hamilton like two weeks ago for the. first time. Oh, yeah. You ever seen. that? No. Is it good, brother? You see. it on Broadway, brother? I saw I saw it. on they brought it to Texas Bass Concert. Hall and then in these last like three. weeks I have studied everything. I I'm. addicted to it, bro. Really, Joe? Derek,
it's the second greatest piece of art to. ever be art. What's number one? Harry. Potter books. I wish you were here for this argument. Harry Potter books is number. one. When he was going off at Mity about. this, well, these [ __ ] is. trying to bring up the Bible. It's like, get the [ __ ] out of here, dude. Harry. Potter's better than the Bible. Not even. close. Really? It was Joe. It's already. the second greatest selling book of all. time, and it's only been out since 1997.
Think about that. That is pretty crazy. I'll tell you what, my my kids were. addicted to it. It's the Well, I read. it. I read it also. I read it like a. month ago. I just found out about both. these things. And really, I knew Harry. Potter. I saw the movie. I I knocked it. all out. Wow. I knocked the whole thing. out. How is it? It's the greatest thing. ever. Better than the movie. It's not. even close. And I love the movies. Movies are great. But it's so [ __ ]. good and so in-depth and so I mean, it's. the classic hero story, you know, a. hero's tale, but man, it's so [ __ ]. good. and rereading it and just how deep.
the characters are and how incredible it. is and it is beautiful. But Hamilton is. number two. Greatest art. And I mean. when I say art, I mean anything ever. written, painted, musically sung. Really? One, two. Wow. And then the. Bible. Maybe the departed. Departed might be. three. Seen the party, man. That first. when that elevator opens up and Leo gets. his hand blown off, oh I feel it still. be three. That's you. Oh, you just. killed all your credibility.
He took departed over Apocalypse Now. Oh, Apocalypse Now. How dare you take. Departed over Apocalypse Now? I love. Apocalypse Now. But Hamilton Joe that. good, brother. It's so If you like. history, cuz I'm not a history guy. I'm. not Hassan. Me and Hassan talk cuz he. loves history and I'm, you know, I know. what I know, but I'm not looking for it. Right. I watched this [ __ ] man. It was. so cool. Everything is educational. The. whole thing. And you think it's gay cuz. it's like, oh, it's a musical. Everyone's black. Like why is Thomas. Jefferson black? You know what? Like.
everyone in the play is black and. they're all playing these guys, Thomas. Jefferson, Washington. But everything is. singing. The whole thing is singing. So. the writing is incredible. And it's. literally the story of Alexander. Hamilton. And I had no idea how. important this man was. Wow. He was an. orphan. And then you know the the it. ends of course with the duel between him. and Burr, right? Which is insane. You. know Burr was vice president when he. killed the treasurer. Really? Hamilton was treasurer and he killed him. in a duel while he was vice president.
That's crazy because they had 15 years. of beef and you get to see why they've. been beefing. It's just two ideologies. of this man grew up orphan, mom died, dad left him. He's from the Caribbean, Alexander Hamilton. He's just an. absolute genius who had to come out of. the absolute mud. Aaron Bird is a trust. fund kid who is a politician through and. through. who was raised to be a. politician who never play, you know, his. cards are close to his chest and he. never shows anybody what he's thinking. True politician. Hamilton's a wild guy. Uh, well, I mean, everything from just.
the way he didn't like how Hamilton. always is talking and Hamilton's is a. loud guy and and he was just uh. rambunctious and didn't follow the rules. of politics. He was very, you know, wild. card. He was also young and Burr was. like, "No, you you do it this way. You. do it this way. That's how you're. supposed to do it." So, that happened. for 15 years. And then the what made him. kill him was Burr was going to be. president. He was going against. Jefferson. Jefferson and Hamilton had. been beefing the they hate each other. But Hamilton didn't like Burr so much. because he said at least Jefferson.
stands for something. And the last vote. to make Jefferson president over Burr. was Hamilton. Ah. And so that and then. of course he talks some more [ __ ] about. him and then Aaron Burr was like, "We're. dueling. [ __ ] you." Wow. With musket. guns. Musket guns. Those old school. [ __ ] guns. And he because he shot. Burr was I know Hamilton wasn't trying. to kill him. He shot over his head cuz. that was like a thing you do if you. weren't trying to kill somebody but you. were like I'm letting you know but like. we're dueling but I'm not trying to kill. you. But he didn't know cuz he shot. first. Burr just thought he missed. So.
he shot him right in the [ __ ] stomach. right in the wrist. Killed him. And it. was at the it was like a few miles away. maybe like near right near the same spot. where Hamilton's son died 3 years. before. Like the law that law of knowing. when it's too much like he could have. just shot over him. Could have the other. guy shot over him, but I thought you I. thought you just missed. How am I. supposed to know? I thought you were. trying to kill me. I thought you trying. to kill me. Exactly. And no one saw it. because you know they so to have a duel. you had to have other people there. You. had to have a doctor. You had to have. two people had to have representatives. All this stuff. But everyone turns. around. So that way there's no no one.
could go to prison for it. Wow. So they. tried Burr for it, but there's there's. no eyewitness. Wow. And it ruined the. rest of Burr's life. The rest of Burr's. life because everyone loved Hamilton. Because Hamilton was George Washington's. right-hand man. He [ __ ] is the one of. the re main reasons we won the. Revolutionary War. He was the Remember. when David Letterman got caught for. cheating and was like, "Well, I'm going. to go out and I'm not going to get. blackmailed. I'm going to go out and. say, "Hey, I cheated on my wife. Get the. [ __ ] out of here." Like, I I'll take the. heat. Hamilton was the first guy to do. that. Really? The Reynolds pamphlets. where a woman did the same thing. A. woman, he [ __ ] this lady. And her.
husband comes up to him later and is. like, "Hey, you owe money." You know, like the husband's like, "Hey, you. [ __ ] my wife. I know you [ __ ] my. wife. I know who you are. You can you. can keep [ __ ] her. I think she's a. [ __ ] too. But I want said it, but I. want money." Really? Yep. And then of. course Jeff I don't know what kind of. money I think it was like $30 but I. don't know what that was at 7900. I. could go back and talk to Hamilton like. give him the money man. Dude's cool. No, but he wanted he wanted continuous. money. How much? I I don't know the. number exactly but I think it was How. good is this lady? Dude, how fun is she?
Apparently she was pretty good. If you. can keep this relationship. going beneficial to everybody involved. You just need a little money. Oh, okay. You're not even mad. And you got the. money. You Hamilton. What the [ __ ] is he. doing? spend that money, spend them fun. coupons. But I think he also still you. wanted he didn't like that uh the other. politicians were using it over like hey. we found out that you were doing this. that and weren't they all monsters back. then? I mean they [ __ ] own slaves. They own slaves. That's what's the. craziest thing. The moral high ground of. the beginning of this country. We were.
getting away from these evil. We got. slaves. Saying everybody's a monster. Yeah. Wash. is the most love had the most. It's like. everywhere you go there's hypocrisy, you. know, like do you ever see that thing. when Don Lemon was talking to this lady. about reparations for slavery? Do you. ever see that thing? No. Oh my god. Please find this. Don Lemon is talking. to this British lady about reparations. for slavery and she lays out the. beginnings of slavery to Don Lemon and. you see Don Lemon's dumb ass like, "Oh,
very interesting. What? Watch this." He. didn't know. It's just he was saying. something that, you know, there should. be reparations for slavery. I think it's. a political talking point at this point. in time. I. think there's people that still think. that people today should get money. because their ancestors were slaves. I. totally understand that argument. However, what this lady saying, did you. find it? It just has like a 5-second. thing and then it talks about the whole. um but there's a video. I watched it. yesterday. I'm just saying it didn't.
have it the thing I'm looking for. Okay. I bet on YouTube it's available. Yeah. Don limit for a smart guy seems. like No, he's not idiot sometimes. Yeah. Like for a guy who looks smart. It's. other people reporting on it. Okay. Let's hear it though. I. And then you have the those who are. asking uh for reparations for. colonialism and they're wondering, you. know, hundred billion dollars, $24. billion here and there, 500 million. there. Some people want to be paid back. and and members of the public are.
wondering why are we suffering when you. are, you know, you have all of this vast. wealth. Those are legitimate concerns. Well, I think you're right about. reparations in terms of if people want. it though, what they need to do is you. always need to go back to the beginning. of a supply chain. Where was the. beginning of the supply chain? That was. in Africa. And when that across the. entire world when the slavery was taking. place, which was the first nation in the. world that abolished sla uh slavery, the. first nation in the world to abolish it, it was started by William Wilberforce.
was the British in in Great Britain. They abolished slavery. 2,000 naval men died on the high seas. trying to stop slavery. Why? Because the. African kings were rounding up their own. people. They had them on cages waiting. in the beaches. No one was running into. Africa to get them. And I think you're. totally right. If reparations need to be. paid, we need to go right back to the. beginning of that supply chain and say. who was rounding up their own people and. having them handcuffing pages. Absolutely. That's where they should. start. And maybe I don't know the.
descendants of those families where they. died at the in the high seas trying to. stop the slavery that those families. should receive something too. I think at. the same time, look at that dumbass. It's an interesting discussion. Hill. interesting. He knew he was in deep. water. She knew what the [ __ ] she was. talking about. Yeah. He and he knew he. had no history in his mind. He's like. scouring his mind for an argument like, "Yeah, I'm going check out on this." He. wanted something easy. He didn't He. wasn't ready for that. Produces in his. ear. Wrap it up, Don. Wrap it up. Wrap. it up. We're going to commercial. We're. going to Fiser. No. Yeah. When the woman.
brought up the ships and everything, you're like, "We got an epic commercial. on deck. Wrap it up. Wrap it up." Oh, yeah. That's the dirty thing about it. It's like there's people were monsters. Yeah. There's Irish were slaves forever. People were indentured servants. They're. brought over here. They It was People. have been monsters forever. And instead. of doing that now, now they're, you. know, picking fruit, picking lettuce. Yep. You know, with no healthcare for.
$2. Yeah. And we're shipping jobs over. to there. So they work in these. factories. They're working 16 hours a. day for a dollar an hour or a dollar a. day sometimes. Joe, when I was in Abu Dhabi, one of the. drivers who was taking us somewhere, he. said uh he was happy. He was happy. because his family lives back in Lebanon. or wherever they lived, but he was happy. because they he just got a raise to like. $2 an hour. Wow. From the dollar. And he. but I mean Joe, you you'd have thought. he was a millionaire now. Yeah. He was. like, "Oh my god." Like it's like a.
50cent raise, but he was like, "The. things I'll be able to do for my family. back in Lebanon and all this stuff." And. it was like, "Holy [ __ ] Holy shit.". Yeah. And then you're there and. everything there is beautiful and. pristine and everything seems like the. richest things in the world. And it was. they were really nice to us and it was. awesome cuz we were getting to do the. rich things. Yeah. But when you were. talking to that guy I vividly remember. that conversation because of how truly. happy he was. He wasn't in his head. He. was like this is great. $2 an hour. His. expectations were very low. Yeah. That's. the real That's the reality. Like when.
people like Bernie Sanders talk about. like oligarchs and if you're going to. have halves, like extreme halves, just. by the nature of the world, you're going. to have nots and the disparity between. halves and have nots is off the charts. And it's probably only going to get. bigger. That's what's really kind of. scary with uh AI and the ability to. generate wealth and what you're going to. be able to figure out and do and. different ways that people are going to. be able to manipulate markets and.
dominate certain industries with AI. I. think the have and have nots and then. you're going to have also automation. which takes over everything. So all. these jobs gone, bro. I was just. driving. Have you ever like We're not. going to be driving much longer, dude. I. don't think my kid that I'm about to I. don't think my kid's going to know. driving. I think I think they'll know. like No, you just Everyone has an. automated car. Yeah. Check this out. I'm. going to share this with you, Jamie. I. did this yesterday in my car. My car.
just drives itself, dog. Just drives. itself. If you have a Tesla and I if I. put in my address, I go, I press these. buttons and it just takes off. It stops. at red lights. It changes lanes. It like. slows down when the traffic slows down. Speeds up when the traffic speeds up. You could completely check out if you. wanted to. Totally check out. You could. totally check. I don't do it. I keep my. hand near it. I'm still freaked out, you. know, cuz you've been driving your whole. life. Yeah. It's also It just feels. weird with it, but it does.
it. You got the the video and it does it. well, too. I'm just trying to make sure. I'm not showing it's it I got other. stuff on the screen and it doesn't cover. that up. So Oh, does it show things on. the screen? On my screen. Oh, how dare. you. China. Did I [ __ ] up? No, no, no. I. just That What does it show? Like my. address? No. It shows stuff that I don't. want shown on the screen. Oh, I see. Okay, here it is. Check this out. This. is me in the car yesterday. Pretty. [ __ ] wild. I don't like to do it all the time, but. every now and. again, it's pretty wild. It changes.
lanes. It hits the blinkers. See, look. It sees all those cars. That screen. It's It's a representative of all the. car. It knows where all the cars are. Look, it's changing lanes. It hits the. blinker and changes lanes to get around. these trucks. It's uh the future. Wild. It's over. How wild is that? It. shows you on the screen on the front. where your dashboard is. It shows you. all the cars around you. All of them. It. keeps track of them. It knows how fast. they're going. See that guy pass me on.
the left? It shows that. It's wild. He's. flying by you. So, it's like it know it. knew the speed and rate that he was. going and it knew that there was an open. lane. So, it hit the blinkers and it. changed lanes and it knows there's. people behind me. It knows there's. people to the right of me. It It stops at red lights, dude, and. then speeds up again. Stops at stop. signs. It sees the cars to the left and. cars to the right. Knows when to go and. you can just kind of check out. You just. like hold your hand like this, think. about your.
life and have the robot drive you. around. That is just going to be. everywhere. Everyone's going to be. driving in these robot taxis. You're not. going to own a car. Like, this is what. the World Economic Forum wants. You will. own nothing and you'll be happy. You'll. be like that man who has $2 an hour and. so happy. All your food will be free. You don't need a job. That's where the. have and have nots get sketchy because. when automation takes over everything, don't worry. We'll give you universal. basic income. And so, they give.
universal basic income to everybody. So, everybody's relying 100% on the. government now. And then there's people. that own all the electric taxi companies. and own all the computer factories and. own all the AI companies and the. semi-truckss that'll be automated. Those. are the oligarchs. Those are the halves. And the halves never want to give that. up. They always want more and more and. more. They always want to keep winning. that game. They want to stack. They want. to be the first trillionaire. They want.
to keep stacking. Game of Thrones. Cuz. then it goes to your family and your. family and then all of a sudden you're. like, "Oh, maybe we can our family could. be president one day. Our family now. can. I drink your milkshake.". That's it, man. What a call back. That's. exactly what it is. That's it, man. It's. It's a natural human dominator instinct. It's a tribal dominator instinct and. it's just applied to fiat currency and. Bitcoin and financial power and. influence and and they want to control.
social media and we're going to give. everybody a vaccine and it's nuts. You. know those Whimos, this is how I know. it's going to be half. You know those. Whimos cars, those self-driving cars, if. you order one, it's still the same price. as like an Uber pretty much. So it's. like where is this money going, right? I. thought the money was going to the. driver, right? Right? Like I thought, okay, I'm giving half the money to the. company, probably half the money or. whatever, however they split it. But so. now you're telling me there's no driver, but the price is the same. So you're not. going to lower the price, right? Where. is this extra money going? In their. pockets, that's scary. More profitable.
Cuz they're going to do that with. semi-truckss. They're going to do. whatever. They're like, and then they're. going to try to pass legislation to stop. driving. You shouldn't be able to drive. because their money is in driving you. around. Why should you be able to drive? You're dangerous. Statistically, statistically, humans cause all these. accidents. You drink, humans do this, bro. That's. how they can get you. That's why they're. saying, you know, we don't need beef. Cows are destroying the environment. Cows are responsible for climate change. And what a convenient thing I have here. My plant-based meals, my plant-based.
burgers. You need unstoppable meat. Whatever the [ __ ] they have. But it'll. be just like Animal Farm because they'll. still be eating cow. They'll be eating. the top people are going to eat cheese. and the nice fun things, bro. They're. going to be eating dodo bird. burgers. They're eating Siberian tiger. loin. They're having a good time carving. up some rhino steaks. They're a bunch of. monsters. And you know that's that you. know the the whole um market for rhino.
horns. Yeah. You know what that market's. for? What? It's rich people that want to. get off on the fact that they're. drinking tea from an endangered species. That's what's the the W rhino horns. That's what they're valuable for. That's. why people are killing people. They're. killing people so that they can kill the. rhino so they can cut their horns off so. they could sell them to Asia where very. wealthy people get off on the fact that. they're drinking rhino horn tea and they. think it makes your dick hard. Yeah,
they do think it makes your dick hard. which is hilarious. Like you know about. Viagra [ __ ] You heard of blue chew? What are you talking about? So stupid. But if like there's way better ways. You. don't have to kill a rhino. But that's. not the point. The point is they want to. kill the rhino so that they they get. this forbidden thing. We're responsible. for extinction here as we sip this tea. That's how dark people get. That's like. the type of people that want exclusive. things. Oh yeah. That's that that's I. want to watch people. Darkness, man. That's darkness. That's real human.
beings will do that. They will drink. rhino horn tea. That's the only market. for rhino horns. They're not valuable. It's not like tusks. Like elephant tusks. are made out of ivory and ivory is very. valuable and they use it for all kinds. of different things. They always used to. use it for ornaments. They used to make. pool balls out of ivory and then they. stopped allowing people to sell ivory. and then you could only buy like pre-ban. ivory in America. And but that makes. sense because you're you're killing an.
animal for this one thing that's a. commodity and it's [ __ ] up. But the. rhino horn don't even make sense. Like. you're killing an animal just so you. could drink the tea. That's crazy. And they're almost. extinct. Also to kill such a like a. creature. A like wow. This is a [ __ ]. animal, dude. A crazy looking creature, man. Like it doesn't look like it. belongs in this time. It looks like it's. from the dinosaur days. I read this. thing yesterday about you heard the the. bear that's called the boss. Oh yeah. The one bear that's he's got like. thousands of kids. Yeah. He got hit by a.
train. He got hit by that mean he got. hit by a train. It was like running it. back. Run it back. You [ __ ] ass train. by a train. I'm going to knock this. [ __ ] off the tracks this time. That's He got hit by a train twice. Has. all the cubs and apparently eats other. bears sometimes just to let them remind. people cuz he's so old that people the. young bears try them. So I I read he. eats them sometimes just to be like I. got to let everybody know. Well, bears. eat bears. That's real common. Yeah, they eat cubs. It's real dark. A friend. of mine saw it. He saw my friend. Jonathan up in Alberta. He saw a bear.
and a the the SA and the boar were. fighting. So male is the boar, female's. the s. They were fighting because the. bear the male was trying to kill the. cubs. And so the female is trying to. fight him off and eventually she can't. fight him off and she retreat and he. gets a hold of one of the cubs and kills. it. And then she scares him off of the. cub that he killed. And then she eats. the. cub. She eats her own cub. Once it's. dead, she's like, I'll just eat it. Why. do you think it's food? It's like food.
Once it's dead, it's just food, bro. You think You think $2 an hour is. hard, right? Bears are [ __ ] on ghettos. Like, you. think it's hard? You think it's hard? I'm I go outside every day thinking I'm. going to get eaten. Dealing with the. boss bear. Yeah. Well, that's what. happens also when you have That's how. nature balances out ecosystems, right? Because if there's no natural predators. for bears, they they have to they have. to eat.
themselves cuz nothing can eat a grizzly. bear. So they have to eat each other. That's the only way they keep the. population. Keep it to keep it. So all. there still some salmon and some other. things left everybody else. So when when. cubs are born, there's two things that. happen. One, well, there's three things. One, the male thinks of them as food. So. he wants to kill them for food. Like. they hunt them. They go into the dens. When the males come out of hibernation. early, they go into dens to look for. cubs to eat them. They know they do that. for food. Two, they try to bring the. female into estrus again. So if they can. kill the cubs, then the female want to.
breed so she can have more cubs and so. it'll get the the female so that she'll. want to breed again. And then three is. competition. They look at those cubs as. potential future competition. So it's. all these horrible ways with this. beautiful nature. Nature is amazing. Nature is a [ __ ] blood bath. It's a. It's a blood bath. Even the grass is. screaming. They found out that grass. screams now.
Yeah, plants make noise when you're. eating them. No, they just can't move. I. That's too much. That the fact that we are the apex. because you were saying something. yesterday. We were talking we were. saying how like it's crazy to think that. aliens wouldn't think we're interesting. Yeah, that's that dumb argument that I. had with Neil Degrass Tyson. Like what. are you saying? Because when you think. about like man, we are the top dog on. this planet. That's interesting in. itself. Different than everything else. here. If you're going to study anything. anywhere in the [ __ ] universe, of. course you would study human beings. If.
you're going to study anything, you. would go, "What is this wild crazy. territorial primate with nuclear weapons. and cell phone addictions? What is. this?" And they're soft. We can easily. be killed easily. And we're still top. dog. And they might have made. us. They might have engineered us, son. That's a real on the table, less than 0%. or more than 0% possibility. We might. have been genetically engineered. It's a. real possibility. It's a real.
possibility. When you look at uh other. primates and us like, what happened. here? What happened here? How how are. our cousins still roaming around. barefoot covered in hair? Yeah. you. know, swinging from trees, eating. bananas. And we are somehow or another. flying rockets with a all chick. crew and then landing with parachutes. Like, what? Why are we so different? And why. we keep seeing UFOs? Like, what the [ __ ]. is going on here? And we control we.
control the tigers, the things that. could kill us. And we we're like, "No, we're in charge." Yeah, we're in charge. of [ __ ] ass water balloons. We're. basically blood balloons with sticks. holding it all together. compared to. things that are [ __ ] built like. trucks. Yeah. Every like a rhino. Like. how the [ __ ] is a rhino in danger for. its stupid horn when our [ __ ] asses are. on killing a rhino? Dude, that doesn't. mean make any sense. And we're not even. eating them. Just killing them and. sawing off their [ __ ] horns. That. would be Yeah. If you're an alien, you're like, they do what? Do you see.
what they're doing now to rhinos to. prevent this? They dart them and saw. their horns off first so that no one. wants to kill them. How [ __ ] up is. that? How [ __ ] up. Have you seen that? No, but the rhino must need the horn and. light like for the protection from like. they must need it in some way. They want. to fight. Yeah. They want to fight other. rhinos and fight off lions and [ __ ] like. that. Yeah. They need that horn. I mean, there's a reason why they have it. Yeah. Yeah. They evolved to have this giant. [ __ ] weapon in the middle of their. face. So to cut it off, I mean, [ __ ]. What a [ __ ] up way to go.
Have you seen him launch lions into the. air? [ __ ] launch those [ __ ]. in the air like [ __ ] you, bro. Try. getting through this. But yeah, to cut. that off. What does that do to the. rhino? Can it live out in the Yeah, it. lives fine. Okay, it lives fine, but it. just doesn't have a weapon anymore. But. it also is not attractive to the main. monster, which is humans. And humans. that just wanted to drink a tea to get. your dick hard just get rocked up. Whoa. Bricked. It don't even work, I don't. think. Does it work? Rhino does rhino.
horn. It might be one of them ancient. Chinese secrets. It's legit. Does Rhino. Horn get your dick hard? No evidence. How dare you? I have a uh you know that. Ron Taylor comedian who he's afro. He's. in the grand at Mothership. He told me. he took it one time. He's like, "Man, I. couldn't see anything, but my dick was. [ __ ] touching the ceiling." He took. Rhino. He took the but like the gas. station. I don't know if that's Oh, that's not the same face. Is that not. the red band pills? No. But he said he. couldn't see, but man, his dick was. hard. He said he could feel it. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. That's like.
Rhino 2000. Those gas station boner. pills. Yeah, those are legit sometimes. But I mean, you want to talk about. taking a chance on your life? Like, who. knows what's in there. That is who knows. what's in there. That was another thing. I was reading about like Chinese illegal. vapes, like like bootleg vapes that have. entered into this country, like. pretending to be like legitimate. companies that are selling vapes and. they're just using [ __ ] gutter oil. and who knows what the [ __ ] inside of. those things and people are getting sick. from. them. Yeah. that no one gives a [ __ ].
about you, man. Not in most of the. world. Most of the world is trying to. get them dollars. Get them. Get them. dollars and [ __ ] the world. Oh, [ __ ]. that, man. All right, Derek, tell. everybody about your special. This is. Well, we we talked this whole time. We. didn't tell anybody about your special. We didn't. But my brother, first thing I. ever put out, man. I'm really excited. First thing I ever put out, dog. So, I'm. excited for people. And the Don't Tell. I really appreciate them. And I feel. like they're the new uh premium blend or. or Comedy Central presents like back in.
the day. you know, that era, you know, because I feel like Kill Tony is is a. mix between like late night and. America's Got Talent. It's like a. different thing. Whereas this is for. like a guys who are more my age who are. like, "All right, big companies really. don't want them." And you can put on. YouTube yourself, but do you have the. money to make something that looks nice? We'll make it for you and get you your. first so you can have your first thing. out. And where where can people watch. it? YouTube. Just YouTube. Don't tell. Comedy. Uh, there it is. It's out. Beautiful. Oh my god. I'm very happy for. you, brother. Very happy. I've been. watching you grow since you came to.
Austin. It's been beautiful and been. amazing. And knowing you from the comedy. store, you one of the first guys took. the chance coming out here. We all just. said, "Fuck it." Yeah. Wound up together. and we were right. We were right. We were [ __ ] so right. So right. We're having so much fun. I. mean, even Joey's going to be here. tonight. It's It's old school days here. tonight. It's old school days. Yeah. Joey's here tonight. Very very excited. And you know, Joey's performing here. Moon Tower's in town. Todd Todd Glass. was there last night. That was great. It's been Joe D. Rosa moved here now.
He's the [ __ ] best. I love him, man. We We are having so much fun, man. We're. having so much fun, dude. I appreciate. you, brother. I appreciate you, Joe. Thank you so much for Thank you. My. pleasure. Uh, everybody, go check it. out. It's on YouTube right now. Uh, Derek Poston on Instagram and everywhere. else. Everywhere else. Yes. [Music]. [Applause]. [Music].
