Joe Rogan Experience #2302 - Ron White

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe. Rogan Experience. Train by day. Joe. Rogan podcast by night. All day. We up. Hey, fella. We're up. What's. going on, Runway? I'm feeling good. Finally, after. my little bout with [ __ ] co. They got. you. They got you with the new co. They. got me with the new co. I thought the. new co was total [ __ ] I thought it. was like a baby cold. I had.

um you know my my girlfriend raised two. kids and she said she's never seen. anybody puke as much as I did for two. days. Wow. And uh and it was it was. brutal. It was just bile and I don't. even know if I ever have ever been that. sick. It only got asked that part of it. a couple of days. That's interesting. I. wonder if you got multiple things at the. same time. Do people usually puke a lot if they get. co Jamie? Do you know? I don't remember that being a symptom. I.

don't remember having that either. You. might have had a couple things at the. same time. There was a bad flu going. around too. Well, I went to uh you know, I went to. Vegas and uh early and I had kind of I. just thought I had a cold when I went. and uh my doctor here gave me a shot of. steroids and I felt way [ __ ] better. I mean, I felt better everywhere. I was. more flexible. I was like, "Fuck, I want. to do steroids every goddamn steroid." I. don't know. But whatever it was, man, I. could touch the floor without bending my.

knees, without stretching at all. But I. cortisone shot. I I don't know. Just she. said steroid. She gave it to me. I don't. ask a lot of questions, you know. So, you just felt loose. I felt loose and. good. I played really good golf and then. I got there and it started catching up. with me. I had my girlfriend. I'm. staying in the mansion down at, you. know, at MGM Grand, which is pretty. sweet. And and uh I had that show just. on Saturday. We got there on Wednesday. and I'm like, "Fuck it. I'm not going to. make it." I felt it all start.

deteriorate. So, I called this doctor. It was so bad. You didn't think you were. going to make it on Saturday. I didn't I. didn't I I thought I would need a. another shot of steroids. That's so I. called a doctor. I had the hotel call a. doctor and I thought I was getting the. doctor that was, you know, whatever it. takes to get through the show, right? And uh you know, but that's not the. doctor I got. I the doctor I got was we. need to let's test you for CO. I'm like. no no no I don't have CO. He said he. said I won't charge you if it's. negative. Which didn't make any sense to.

me. And I said well okay. And then it. came up positive for COVID. And he said. see there the T and the X and the and. the thing. And I said yeah I see it. Let's do it again. Uh because I don't. think I have COVID. So we did it again. Came up positive again. Not only would. he not give me the COVID shot. He told. me to quit taking the antibiotics I was. already on. And uh and he did nothing. except for call the CDC to tell them I.

had CO and they both said you cannot do. the show. I'm like wait a minute. You're. the wrong doctor. I don't want the. [ __ ] retire today [ __ ] I want to. here's the your drummer's a junkie. He's. out of heroin. get him some [ __ ]. something to get him through this. goddamn So they were telling you you. can't do the show because you had a. specific kind of a cold, a COVID cold. So if you had the flu, would he have. stopped you from doing the show? I'd say absolutely not. I don't think it.

would even come up. That's so weird. because right now like the deaths from. COVID now are so low. Like the idea that this is still a. pandemic and they still have to treat it. differently than they do a cold. They. do. And what? Well, I you know I I was. faced. with do I cancel a show? Well, that's. not the same as St. Louis when they just. moved the date and the people from St. Louis come back out. This is Las Vegas, right? A lot of those people come. specifically to see me because I don't.

do all those shows that I used to do. So, it's kind of if you want to come see. it and that's a good place and so it's a. problem. You know, it's a refund. You. got to refund them all because those. people aren't going to be there. Most. importantly, your fans are bummed out. Yeah, my f I've disappointed them. Everybody's here. [ __ ] Let's do the. show. So, I was just sitting there. I didn't. know what to do. So, I'm like, well, I'm. just gonna call MGM Grand and tell them. what the [ __ ] going on. Let it be. their call, you know. And, uh, they were. like, so, uh, how do you feel? I'm like,

I feel like I can make it through the. show. And they're like, well, I say. let's just go ahead and do it. You're, you know, it's a big room. You're not. within six feet of anybody. It's 2025. It's 2025. You if you told me you had. You did tell me you had CO and I gave. you a big hug on Monday. I saw you on. Monday. Yeah. When we did Kill Tony, right? And I was fine. You were a super. spreader on Kill Tony. You son of a. [ __ ] Time. I'm an [ __ ] The biggest. [ __ ] ever. It would be so horrible. Got sick. I know. Nobody did. Nobody got. sick. It's And it wasn't until the next.

day that I got sick. That's when the. vomiting started. Wasn't in Vegas. It. was day two. It was Tuesday after Kill. Tony. That's when I got sick and uh and. and it was [ __ ] awful. I mean, for. two days, just awful. Did you get. another steroid shot? No. Nobody would. give me one. So, I don't know, man. I. just got the wrong goddamn You got to go. to Gold's gym. Yeah, right. They find.

the biggest guy in the room and say, "Who?" Dude, you got something, don't. you? You know you got something, bro. Come on, man. Aren't you a Ron White. fan? Give me some [ __ ] steroids just. to get me around the corner. So yeah. So. I'm back. I feel fine today. And that's. good. And uh you back. Really good news. You come to the club tonight. Uh you know they asked me to. I don't. know who's got the set tonight. I don't. know who's got the show. We do. [ __ ] it. Let's go. Okay. Let's go. I'll go. Let's. go. Run white. Plus Bottom of the.

Barrels tonight, too. The uh Kill Tony. was on Netflix last night. Isn't that. amazing? I'm so happy. I'm so happy for. Tony and Redband and for everybody on. the show. I'm just so happy that that. show is now on Netflix. It's sweet. You. know, I I always believed in it and you. know that and I always saw something in. Tony. I know I was never sure what. exactly it was, but I saw something, you. know, that this kid works hard, you.

know, he's got a dream that he's [ __ ]. making it work. And he's making it work. with hard work. He works hard. He works. really hard at that show, man. Really. does. I mean, I call him in the middle. of the day sometimes and he's just. laying out like how he's going to do the. show, what he's got. He's like, he's. planning it. He's wandering around his. apartment, writing notes down, just. planning it out in his head. He's legit. Tony, this is the thing about success. It's a product of hard work. And in that. example, I [ __ ] know it's a product. of hard work. Those guys did that show.

every goddamn Monday for 10 plus years, starting with six people in the crowd. I. was one of. them. I was there when they were doing. the belly room show. But I always. encouraged it. I encourage people to do. shows when no one's watching because I. think that, you know, the only way. something builds is you got to get it. started. You can't think you're going to. launch a podcast and it's going to have. a million downloads. It's not that way. And you don't want it that way anyway. You want to get good at it. You want to.

learn how to do it. You want to iron out. the kinks. I agree. I agree. And they. did it. They [ __ ] did it. They did. it. And now it's one of the best shows. in the world. It's the funniest [ __ ]. show on television for sure. You know, as as far as just a [ __ ] entertaining. thing to goddamn do. I mean, just to. come down, you know, my my last. girlfriend was so addicted to the show. She would come almost every Monday. And. it's hard for me to go down there on. kill Tony night because they got the you. know the green rooms hawked out to. 19,000 people and there's no place for.

me to go and right and uh so you know. but but she was addicted to it. I mean. just is something fun to do you know. it's a fun thing to do because you're. going to get some great comics. You're. and it doesn't matter if if if the comic. eats it on stage because it's still. funny, you know. That's not the point. Uh the point is that everybody has. access, you know. Mhm. in some way. And. and and there's no shortcut to get there. because I tried to shortcut it cuz I. thought I could cuz I was Ron White. And.

I my banker said, "Yeah, I've been doing. standup and I'd love to get I'm no. problem. I'll tell him. I'll I'll fix. this for you." And uh and he was like, "Yeah, yeah, no, you you can't. It's a. bucket pull. That's the only way he can. do it is to get his name in there." And. it's a legit bucket pool. I mean, it. really is. And sometimes one of our guys. gets in like a son's been on a couple of. times now, you know, and sometimes not. You put your put your name in the. bucket. You'll see. There's hundreds of. names in that bucket. It's a great idea.

It's a great idea. And it's inclusive to. anybody. I mean, it's amazing to me who. he saw the had the vision to put anybody. anybody no matter what kind of physical. shape if they you can't even say a word, right? And handicapped on top of that. I. And you know, all you have to do is just. give it a go. Give it a go. Give it a. go. Try to be funny. Do your best. Just. do your best. Yeah. There's a lot of. people doing their best. I'm thrilled.

Uh I'm thrilled for the success of it, you know. It's incredible. Yeah, it. really is. It's fun, too. It's like it. makes everything more fun when when. there's a fun thing like that out there. in the world. More more of us have fun. We have more fun at the clubs. We have. more more fun talking about comedy. Yeah. And it, you know, it made me. really proud too to I mean, just to walk. out on stage and it's, you know, it's. you and Shane and and and Sigur and and. Tony and and these are my friends, you. know, these are my buddies. This is my.

tribe right here. And uh and we're doing. something really special. And it's a. [ __ ] hoot, you know. It is a [ __ ]. hoot. It's a [ __ ] hoot. Yeah. And. it's uh that club's the best place for. it. I had I had a nightmare the other. night. Oh no. Yeah. And it was about the. club. Oh no. And uh that I was the. headliner that night and I got down. there and there were like nine. 11year-old girls and that's all the. tickets we could sell. And I was like, "Did you tell them I was coming?" Yeah.

We put it in the thing and nobody showed. up, Ron, except for these chicks. If I. was your psychiatrist, I'd sit down to. go, Ron, what do you think this means to. you? What What inside of your. subconscious makes you think that only. 11year-old girls would come to see you. do comedies? That's cuz for for 38. years, I've been waiting for the end, you know, and it finally happened that. that night in the middle of that dream. See, I knew it would happen. And I think. like that and it drives me crazy. I.

don't understand how you can think like. that. I just always have because I, you. know, it it it never works as good as it. worked for me, you know. I mean, it's. worked okay for you, but I mean, you. know, these kind of careers don't last. forever until unless they do. And. there's not very many of them that do, you know, last [ __ ] four decades. And. it's a different world now, Ron. I think. they do last now. I I guess so. I think. the thing that was going on before. was everybody thought you did comedy to.

get to something. You did comedy to get. to the movies. You did comedy to get to. TV. And if you didn't, then you were a. failure. And you thought of yourself as. a failure. And other people thought of. you as a failure, too. And that would. diminish your confidence. That would. diminish your draw. And only a few. people survived that and escaped. And a. lot of great comics, like Richard Jenny. for instance, he got caught up in that. and felt like he was a failure and a. loser and wind up [ __ ] killing. himself. Meanwhile, he was one of the. greatest comics that's ever lived. He.

never lived. He just missed the boat. He. missed the internet boat. He would have. been [ __ ] But I missed it, too. He. didn't, though. But you didn't. He. didn't miss it. You didn't. You You. caught us. You caught the whole wave, brother. You came to the store at the. right time. I did catch a I did catch a. great wave. And it it it's great for all. of us that we all know each other. It's. great for all of us. There's no more, you know, waves like in in terms of like. your career is going to die off. Your. care your career is dependent entirely.

on your work and your work's never been. better. No, I I don't think it has. It's. never been better. You're on fire right. now. You were killing it. The other. night we were in the green room and we. were watching from the balcony [ __ ]. howling. It's great. It's great. There's. no reason it shouldn't be great. like. you've been doing it forever. You love. doing it. You're passionate about it. You work hard. You're always writing. Of. course, it's great and it's and it's. fun, you know. It's the best. It's. there. I don't think there's any. environment that's more conducive to.

getting chops than I mean that really is. a gym. Yeah. To me. And uh and everybody. there is just getting better. And it's. that [ __ ] stage time. There's no. [ __ ] substitute for stage time. No. substitute. stage stage time and a good. tribe. Yeah. You got to have that. because everybody's killing it. Like. when I see Assan up there killing it, I'm like, "Woo, let's go." I get. excited. Everybody's come a long way. A. long way. And you see these guys like. Ari Maddie, these young guys coming up,

you see all these people and Cam. Patterson on Kill Tony Monday night was. on fire. On fire. You see the growth. You see these guys emerging and you're. like, "This is incredible. We're in a. We're so lucky. We're in the like the we. have the luckiest job in the luckiest. place in the world. I think so, man. And. if I was a young comic now, I would go. to Austin, Texas. 100%. And because. there's just all that stage time and now. you don't actually automatically get to. go to the mothership, but that can be. your goal. You can get in there, man.

You can get in there if you're good. You. can get in there if you're good. There's. a lot of guys get in there. All you have. to do, A lot of women get in there. A. lot of non-binary people. All you have. to do is just be good. Yeah. There's. showcases all the time. Adam's picking. people all the time. People will see you. if you're funny. Your shit's on the. internet. It's like the path has never. been clearer now for a young comic. I. mean, when I was young, starting out and. it's like, how do you do this? How do. you get on stage? How do you get a. manager? How do you get paid? How do you. do right? You know, now it's like it's.

kind of laid out. It is. And and there. are people also hanging around like me. that that have been through all this. stuff before. you know, the the the. growth spot to know how to get better, you know, because I was like you. There. was no direction. There was nobody. giving advice. There was, you know, you. just looked at it and went, "Okay, I'll. I'll try this." Yeah. Let's see. And uh. Well, you made it late in life, too. You. know, that's probably why you have this. thing in your head, cuz like when did.

Blue Collar was like How old were you. when that that tour kicked off? 45, I. think. See, that's that's that's why. that's the thing. You know who else had. that same sort of feel? Phil Hartman. Phil Hartman didn't get on Saturday. Night Live. I think he was 36. That was. his first break. 36. Mhm. Yeah, I'm. pretty sure. Now, did he do standup also. or is he He was going to He would do. some standup to warm up the crowd.

sometimes. Okay. and he would [ __ ]. around and he and I talked about it. And. I said, "Anytime you want to do it, I'll. go I'll take you to the store." I go, "You you can get on stage." I go, "You. don't need a lot of time. You just like. put together five minutes. I'll help. you. I know you could do it." And he had. some really funny impressions. He had a. really funny Bill Clinton impression, right? He was a funny [ __ ] dude and a. hard worker. You want to talk about a. hard worker? That dude used to make me. Everybody felt like they weren't a. professional when they were on that guy. cuz he'd have like tabs and [ __ ] a.

notebook where all his scenes were. Everything was organized. Yeah, I. already feel unprofessional. While he. was doing that, he was also trying to. take his pilot's license. So, in between. scenes, he'd be reading airplane books. Jesus Christ. What a [ __ ] tragedy, man. What a [ __ ] tragedy. Oh, bro. You don't know the half of it. I tried. to get him to divorce her a long time. ago. I told him like right when he was. struggling, I said, "Man, just give her. half. Just get out. You'll make more. money." And he was like, "Well, it's not.

half. It's a scam. The lawyers get a. third." Yeah. It's a third. You get a. third of your [ __ ] money. Okay. Okay. Okay. Just give her the money. Just give. her the money. Money is fun coupons, right? If you're having money and you're. not having fun, then what do you got? You gotta cut something off. You know, you got to figure out what where's the. cancer, hack it off. Hack off that. melanoma and let's get this party. rolling. Like you you shouldn't be. involved with someone that you hate.

That's crazy. You come home to someone. who hates you. That's crazy. That is. insane. That's crazy. And you know, and. I've been in bad relationships before. that I that I cut off and of course and. uh and then all of a sudden you can. breathe again. You know, you're a. different person when you're in a bad. relationship. like you're bad too. Like. you're not your best. Just like a bad. friendship. Like you're not the best. friend if the your friend is a. [ __ ] you know? You're you're good. friends with good friends. Like we all. inspire each other. And if you got a.

one-way street or if you are one of. those unfortunate people that hooked up. with a hot lunatic, cuz that's the. problem. You got a hot lunatic, right? and they're sexy and they're fun for. short bursts of a few hours at a time. and then you're like, "Oh my god, this. person is in my life." And if you move. in with them, oh Christ, I know. And. then if you have kids with them, oh cra. and if you're married to them, oh. Christ, you married a hot lunatic. The. hole gets deeper and deeper and deeper.

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must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy. responsibly. Product availability varies. by region. See app for details. You. know, you're you're Johnny Depp and. you're on TV. Yeah. And you're in the. court with the whole thing falling to. [ __ ] pieces. The whole thing falling. to pieces in front of the whole world. cuz you married a hot lunatic. And. that's the thing about symmetry and. beauty and and women who are sexy, they. just can trick you. And then and men are. so easily tricked or so vulnerable. Oh, I'm I'm the worst. I'm It's so easy to.

lead me down a road. But I'll just sniff. my way. Oh, this is bliss. I'm in love. We're going to elope. [ __ ] it. I don't. care about my money. Yeah. She used to like insult him at. parties and [ __ ] Phil Hartman's wife. It was really rough. Like I remember it. took him we all went to this party once. like some industry type party and she. was insulting him and I was like oh I. just I had to bite my tongue which I'm.

not very good at you know. No. And I was. like, and then you know, he and I were. in his green his little dressing room. and I was telling him, man, like there's. another way. You don't have to do You're. a great guy. Like, you're a great guy. You're a lot of fun. You'd be a better. person if you were with someone better. Like, you'd feel better about yourself. Like, you can't be feeling good about. yourself. [ __ ] no. [ __ ] no. You gota, you know, but he had kids, too, which. complicates the [ __ ] out of everything. He had kids with her. Mhm. Yeah. Oh, [ __ ] Yeah.

Yeah. What a horrible [ __ ] story. Did. I ever tell you the story about like the. worst I ever bombed on stage right after. that? Like easily the worst I've ever. bombed on stage. Did I ever tell you the. story? I've never seen you bomb on. stage. I was at the gas station and uh I. was getting gas. It was two weeks after. he was murdered and it was the first. time I was going to go on stage again. because I was everyone was wrecked. I. didn't even know like how long it would. take before I felt like I could do.

comedy again. So, I'm at the gas station. getting gas and uh just randomly run. into a buddy of mine who's a cop and uh. I go, "Hey, what's up? What's going on, man?" He's like, "How you how you doing? You you doing okay?" I'm like, "Man, we're all [ __ ] up, you know." And he. goes, "Did I tell you that I was there?". I go, "No, you were there." He goes, "Dude, what?" He goes, "I was there when. the kids ran from the mom." I go, "What. do you mean?" He's like, "After she. killed herself, she barricaded herself.

in the after, excuse me, after she. killed Phil Hartman, she barricaded. herself in the bathroom and she had the. kids in there with her with a. gun." And a lot of times when moms kill. themselves, they'll kill their kids, too. And the cops saw that and so they kicked. open the door. And when they kicked open. the door, the kids ran from the mom. The. kids ran out of the bathroom and then. the mom blew her brains out.

[ __ ] I forgot about I forgot about that. part of it. I mean, I forgot that she. killed herself. I'm seeing my friend at the gas station. right before I go on stage. I'm going on. stage in about 45 minutes. Jesus. Yeah. Half hour drive to the store. 15 minutes before I'm going to go on. stage and this is this is my face. I'm. just like there's nothing funny in the. world. There's nothing funny in the. world. And then um after I recovered,

you know, I took like another week off. and then I came back and I was like he. would just he would just wanted me to. keep going. I had a dream about him. once. I was like the most realistic. dream I've ever had about anybody in my. life ever in my life. He was sitting on. a lawn chair and I ran into him and I. was like, "What are you how are you. doing? What are you doing?" And he's. like, "Oh, I'm fine." He goes, "Uh, we. made up." He goes, "It was a lot." He. goes, "Uh, obviously we had a lot to.

work out." And he laughed about it. And. uh I said, "Well, that's great, man.". And. then he pushed the chair back and he was. gone. And then I woke up like he was. gone. It was the mo one of the most I've. had two very realistic dreams in my life. that seemed so realistic they didn't. even make sense. And that was one of. them where it was like I felt like he. was there. I didn't I didn't I feel like.

he wanted me to let it go was it was so. weird. I felt like, you. know, he wanted it's like that's how he. was whenever they would fight because. like I'm not I don't like fights in. which sounds crazy because I commentate. on fights, but I don't like I don't like. conflict. I wish it didn't exist. The. reason why I got good at fighting like. martial arts is because I was scared of.

conflict. I don't like it. I I. understand it, but I don't think it's. necessary. And I don't think fighting in. a relationship, I think that's the. worst. And the people that get in these. relationships where they scream and yell. at each other and call each other. horrible names. And but with a lot of. people, it becomes this cycle of getting. mad at each other and then making up and. then the making up sex is like very. addictive to a lot of people. It's like. it's a different kind of thing. and you. get on this weird roller coaster ride of. I hate you, I love you, I hate you, I.

love you, and he was he was on that. roller coaster ride and he was letting. me know like it just went too far. I. went crazy. Well, you know, I I lived in. Mexico for a while with a with a woman. who eventually took her own life. And uh. I mean I was already out of the picture. for a couple of years and uh when that. happened, but when I was in Mexico with. her, I. knew that I was I was trapped. Number. one, I was I moved down there to start a.

[ __ ] pottery company cuz I was. frustrated with standup comedy. They had. just cut my the Funny Bone chain had. just cut my pay by a third. because they realized that I just worked. for them. Oh boy. And I couldn't patch. this schedule together without him. Oh, what a bunch of So they and I I told the. guy that uh ran the Funny Bone, Gerald. Kubach, to go eat a steaming bowl of. [ __ ] And uh I don't even know what that. would look like.

I don't know. But it cost me a lot of. work to say it, but it was still fun to. say. And wow. But I moved with her down. to Mexico and and I knew that she was. crazy. And I and the way it came up was. that she had called a a friend of mine. and told her that sometimes she stands. over my bed with a knife and just stares. at me. And and my son was there also. part of the time. And I'm like, well, that's over. I got to get out of this.

And but but the the big thing was I was. depressed because of my situation. because I didn't see a way out of it. Yeah. you know, I didn't see a way to. out. I just couldn't see I just couldn't. see a path. And uh and it got to where. when I was around people, I couldn't. talk. And and you know, I did I had no. tribe, you know, at all. I was cut off. from all my friends and and it just. something I did to myself was that move. down to Mexico, which I was there for.

three years. Wow. And uh and it was just. the worst time of my life. And I really. didn't think I'd ever come out of it. I. mean, I never never thought I could even. get back to a place where I could sit. down and have a conversation with. somebody. That's how depressed I was. Wow. And um and when I it was funny. because I I moved into Mexico, I had the. biggest truck that Ryder makes pulling. the biggest trailer they make. My van. pulling the biggest trailer they make. All headed down south. All your [ __ ] to.

everything. Moved to Mexico. Why Mexico? because my girlfriend at the time did. this mosaic tile application to existing. pottery and she would sell it at art. shows or craft shows, you know, whatever. And it would sell really fast, but it took her six months to make any. of it. So, I thought, why wouldn't you. just go down to Mexico and train a bunch. of women how to make it and let her. orchestrate it? And I [ __ ] did it. I.

I was part of that sucking sound that. Ross Perau was talking about going to. Mexico. Three years later, I had the. exact same equipment headed on north out. of Mexico with same exact truck, trailer, everything. That was a bad. idea. Three years. And uh Wow. But but. once I Oh, she was so hot. Oh, she was. so hot. And I'd never been with a a hot. woman before. I had never been with I.

mean that was my girl, you know, and uh. she was just so she was so beautiful. I'm like I'm going to I'll be with her. even though I hate her just so I can. look at her, you know, I just stare at. her and that'll be enough. That's all. I'll need. Turns out I needed a little. more than that. So, but uh you can only. tolerate so much. And then I ended up. marrying this other girl that was. horrible. I mean, I mean, I I know she's. probably listening to this right now, so.

I don't mean horrible, but horrible. And. uh but she always searchs the internet. for things about me so she could say, "Hey, this person said, "Thanks for. signing my girlfriend's tickets. What. are you out there signing girlfriend's. tickets?". Yeah, I'll sign anybody's ticket. You. know, just always looking. Every time. she'd turn on her computer, it'd make me. sick to my stomach because I didn't know. what she was going to come up with. You. know, I'm no angel anyway. And uh but so. that girl's sister when she killed. herself sent me.

uh a post that that that my ex-wife. found. She printed it saying that she. had killed herself. She brought it in. and handed it to me and all I did was. sit down on the couch and she goes, "Oh, now you loved. her." I'm like, "Just give me a minute.". Okay. Just give me This is her sister. doing this to you. No, this is my wife. Oh, she got the note from her She got. the letter from her sister and handed it. to me and she saw it affected me and. she's like, "Oh, now you loved her.".

Jesus Christ. What are you supposed to. do? Yeah. A lady that you used to live. with killed herself. Yeah. What the. [ __ ] Yeah. Just give me a minute. Give. me a minute. Yeah. Give me a minute. Jesus. It's a human being that you know. that killed themselves. How many people do you think you've know. that have killed themselves? Oh man. Let's see. Not very. many that I really. knew.

Uh my best friend, uh one of my best. friends from childhood killed himself. And uh but we thought he died at the. massacre in Waco cuz that's he was a big. caresh guy. Oh boy. He missed the. massacre. Yeah, he missed the massacre, but we thought he we thought maybe he's. there when it was all going going down, but he wasn't. and uh and eventually it. was an odd thing. Anyway, he was he's a. he was a dear friend from childhood. His.

dad was the music director at my church. and he and I used to bluff buff the. floors of the church with those big. bluff. That was our our job on one day a. week that we'd go down there and and. we'd actually sing Neil Young songs to. the top of our lungs cuz we would well I. dream I saw the night and we just sing. the [ __ ] out of Neil Young songs. That's. the only tape I had. You know I know you. and him had a little problem but I don't. have no problem. I know you were so. sweet about that. I love that guy. I.

love his music. He just had he didn't get it. No, he. didn't. That was that was a that was a. dumb thing. Well, he just missed he. didn't understand what was happening and. nobody did. I don't blame him. Nobody. did. I' I'd talk to him in a. heartbeat even though he pulled his. music and tried to get me removed from. Spotify. Right. That was a I still don't. care. I love that guy. And I loved his. music. Even after he did it, I still. listened to his music. Uh he just got he.

missed he didn't know what was. happening. He got tricked. A lot of. people got tricked, you know. A lot of. people thought that this was the only. way out. We had to listen to these evil. lying [ __ ] that were telling us that. everybody had to take this vaccine. There was no other medicine available. and if you didn't, everybody was going. to die. And you. know, he got caught up in it. They got. us all though. They got the whole. country. You can't be mad at the whole. country, right? That's crazy, right? I.

don't want to be mad at anybody anymore. Ron White. I don't either. As I get. older, I'm less and less inclined. There's people I don't wish to talk to, right? Like, I don't need that in my. life. I don't need whatever you bring in. my life, but I don't wish you bad. Yeah. I have really, really healthy boundaries. when it comes to people that don't make. me feel good, you know? I just don't I. just won't hang around them. Yeah. I. don't want to be around them and. confront them. Like, who cares? Yeah. No, good luck to you. I'll give you a. hug. I got some other [ __ ] going on.

Yeah. I have friends. But you know what? I tell you what what makes you a good. friend. Uh when you get. successful, and I'll just talk about. successful like I. am. It's hard to find anybody that'll. disagree with you. You know that uh. because there's something to. gain and and that's true with you, too. I mean, that you know, you you hold a. lot of. power and you have something a lot of. people [ __ ] want. And I know that.

because I have a I have a box of and I. should have brought them and given them. to you anyway. I'll bring them to the. club tonight. But it's just a guy I met. that owns a sunglass company and he. makes sunglasses for hunting. And he and. so he said, "Wait a minute. Who wears. sunglasses when they hunt?". I don't know. Nobody. Uh, you can't wear them when Well, I. guess maybe some people probably do. I. bet rifle hunters do. Yeah, they he said.

that one of them are specifically for. bow hunting that makes you see the. target better or something. Oh, interesting. Okay, so he's got an. invention. Um I you know I don't know. I. I don't hunt so I don't really know. anything about hunting in glasses. He he. just said he was going to send a box. Would you give them to Joe? And I said, "Yeah, I'll give them to him." And I. didn't. So, I would think that glasses would get in. the way because that, you know, when you. shoot with a bow, there's a thing called. a peep site. So, you have your string.

and in your string is uh what one of the. things that's sewn into your string is. this little plastic circle. Sure. Do you. know what it is? Yeah. Okay. So, you. know it lines up with the scope the. housing of the bow. The I don't know. that. So, with a peep site is when you. draw back and you you don't look st. through the string. You look through the. circle that's on the string. It's sewed. into the string. And that circle, you. line it up exactly with your sight. housing. And so where your pin is, it's. all about like staying calm and keeping. that pin there. And you want to keep it. all like connected together. So my eye.

is like right there, like right next to. this this this peep site. If I had. glasses, it might get in the way. You. know what I mean? Like cuz the string is. touching my nose and the thing is right. there. And I'm just drawing back and I'm. looking at it like that. Right through. it. I'll give them to you. See what you. think. I don't know anybody who shoot, but I knew I know some hunters that have. glasses, so there must be a way to. adjust. I don't know. I don't know. That's what he told me, though. Okay,

I'll try it out. All right. I'm open to. anything. You never know. And anything. that makes you good at that there. That's a [ __ ] difficult thing to do, you know? Like if I meet a guy and he's. like, I'm a bow hunter. I'm like, oh, okay. Oh. Anyway, what I was saying is. this. Go ahead. What I'm saying is this. that that you're one of the only friends. that I have that'll say, "No, that's. [ __ ] up, Ron. You you you you don't agree with me. to make me feel better because you have.

something I I have something you need.". You know, you'll go ahead and go, "Nah, every now and then." This episode is. brought to you by BetterHelp. It's the. end of tax season and I know by now you. all are probably sick of numbers. But. there's one more expense we need to talk. about and that's how much you're. investing in your well-being. The cost. of traditional therapy can be. outrageous. Between $1 and $250 a month. or even more. So, how do you get the. help you need without blowing your. monthly budget? Use BetterHelp. With.

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betterhelp.com/jre. Well, that green. room's great for that a lot of because. everybody knows that everybody loves. everybody. So, everybody can just talk. openly about anything, you know, like. and if you have like some dumb argument. with someone, someone will come in and. go, I think he's right. Yeah. Yeah. And you. got to go, "Oh, really? What? Okay, let. me think about it.". You need that in your life. You don't. want to be a tyrant. No. You know, and.

that's what happens to a lot of. successful people is they get real. insecure and so they become kind of a. tyrant and they don't want to listen to. anybody else. You know, you see that. with people that are like on shows and. they run the show. It's the show's all. about them. You know, they're the show. and they're, you know, they're the. producer and executive producer and the. cast all kisses their ass and they're at. the top of the [ __ ] casting call or. whatever it is, the call sheet. Yeah. It's a bad place to be. You don't want. to be there. Don't do it. Don't do.

it. You just you got to resist the urge. So, I went back to uh. uh my Iaska place. Uh oh. Uh uh down in. Costa Rica. So, I I went four years ago, right? And. uh and that's when I quit drinking, right? Which you know I did, right? You. know, I quit drinking. I quit, too. When? A month ago. I knew that you.

weren't drinking. Yes. But I didn't. know. Stop drinking. I didn't know that. it was a Yeah, I think I'm done. Yeah. Um for no reason other than it's not. good for you. Yeah. No, I didn't have. to. I enjoyed it. Right. No, you were. having a good time. I was watching. But. the the days after drinking were just. too rough. And I'm like, what? What kind. of a [ __ ] who takes so good care of his. body is poisoning himself a couple of. days a week for fun? You know, why am I.

doing that? And then I'm like, well, will I have the same amount of fun if I. don't poison myself? Turns out, yes. Exactly. Right. Well, there's more than one way to skin. a cat. I mean, you haven't quit. everything, right? I mean, exactly. Yeah. And I'm just skinning the cat a. different way. Tell me about your cat. Well, I'm gonna play some eco. Did they. play those while you went through the. There we go. Jamie's got them already. So, what's that? This is the songs that. a lot of the shaman like to play while. you're tripping balls. Oh, okay. And if.

they play this song while you're under. the influence, the hallucination will. dance to the songs. Oh, wow. It's. There's certain songs you're like, I. don't get it. Like the Grateful Dead. I've never been on acid at a dead. concert, but they say if you are, you. get it. So like I'm missing that part, right? You know, so to me it's like it's. just this jam music, which is fine, but. I'd rather listen to Skard, you know. what I mean? I saw Skinner Monday or.

Sunday night and it was the original SK. the real Skinner before the plane crash. No, I'm just saying these guys are. putting show together. I'm sure Ricky. Medlock playing Allan Collins's. uh play. They have two other guitar. players and but it is a band. M I mean. they are nailing this [ __ ] I had tears. coming out of my eyes during [ __ ]. Freeird for a lot of reasons. Number. one, I saw him in 73, me and Steve Cook,

who was my best friend till the day he. died. And uh and Ronnie Vanzant was. lighting joints and he was handing them. out into the crowd. Well, me and Steve. had worked our way up to the front. He. handed one of them to me and everybody. else was taking a hit. I just stuck it. in my pocket and uh and and went in the. bathroom and smoked it because there. were cot. It was illegal then and I was. listening to SK. Well, Sunday night I'm. at the Skinner show. There's cops where. I was and there was outouses right next. to it where you go through this fence.

and I told my girlfriend, "I'll be right. back." And I was over there. I was in. the outhouse smoking a joint listening. to Skinner. I'm like, "Well, I haven't. changed much in 50 [ __ ] years." You. know, the exact same thing. So some some. songs people just nail it and it stays. great forever. You never get tired of. freeird guitar solo. Yeah. And they just. [ __ ] hammered it home. I mean, it was. so good. Oh, nice. That it was just I I. couldn't believe it, you know? I I. brought him on stage at the Greek one.

time uh maybe 20 years ago or 15 years. ago, I don't know. And it was fun. because I got to I got to say that, you. know, when I was 16 years old, we were. at the Skinner show and we had taken. enough mushrooms to kill an average. teenager, but we weren't average. teenagers. And ladies and gentlemen, Leonard scattered. It was great fun. Cool. And uh so it kind of brought back. all those memories, you know, and then. watching them play it again was kind of.

it's weird because especially when I. come back from arhythmia, which is my. plays out there that I I always come. back emotional, right? And uh and kind. of full of love and forgiveness and. those kinds of things. That's kind of. what I learned from uh from those. hallucinogens. And uh isn't it crazy that that's. illegal? Yeah. to to to feel good. You gotta go. to another country to be a better. person.

You got to go to another c you gotta. leave the land of the free, right? Leave. the land of freedom to go to another. country that's much more lawless and and. take in the divine and come back a. better person. It's and it's crazy and. and I always said and I don't think it's. for everybody, you know. I I'm I'm not. somebody out there just going, "Yeah, you got to you got to do this." Cuz I. think you have to be open to some. things. Yeah. You know, you have to be. open to, hey, maybe I'm wrong about.

everything. You know, maybe there is. If. you're not open to it, you'll get hit. hard. Well, and that's why it's not for. everybody because I, you know, I've seen. people wig down there and uh and which. is why. I, you know, I know you can get IA. locally and have they have, you know, people that are I don't know where they. got their shaman title from, but you can. do it here. Yeah. But I know that there, you know, it's a licensed medical.

facility with doctors. It's the only one. in the world that's a licensed medical. facility. And uh it's and they're. prepared when people wig, you know, they. know what to do. They know to hold you. down. Yeah. And they do too. They. they'll [ __ ] bind you up and wait. till it to clear cuz they know that. you're at a point in this that you're. going through some heavy [ __ ] One of. them was an NFL player last time I was. there and this guy was [ __ ] huge. plays for Buffalo and uh and he just and.

I was like, "God, if if you had to pick. somebody to wig, you would say, please. don't let it be that [ __ ] dude." Did. he wig? He wigged. Oh no. And he wigged. big time. Oh no. And and started just. screaming, "Get the [ __ ] away from me.". Oh no. And which you know that kind of. you know, you got 70 people in this room. that are tripping and so Oh no. What a. what a bummer. And it was and but they.

got big guys too. Oh. And uh so they. just got him out of the room, got him. calmed down, and he didn't leave, you. know. He he just he was going through. some [ __ ] The first time I went there, this girl from. Japan started kicking and screaming and. they took her outside and they had to. [ __ ] subdue her. But at the end of. the day, the person with the biggest. smile on their face was her. Uh because.

she worked through some [ __ ] that I. can't even talk about that I happen to. know what it was, but it ain't worth. knowing. And uh but she found pure. [ __ ] joy and peace in her life. And. you could see it in her face, you know. And I was wondering why when she was. wigging out, why is nobody flipping out. but me? Cuz the people that worked there. weren't flipping out at all. because. they've seen it. Yeah. And there's. nothing they haven't seen. There's been. 18,000 people through that facility and. so they've seen it all. Right. And uh.

but they just know how to they know how. to handle it. Well, I wonder if you're. just in some mansion in Beverly Hills or. whatever. If there's somebody there that knows how. to handle it. Probably not. Probably. not. Especially if you don't know what. you're going to get hit with. Yeah. And. you need to be in a really safe place. where people know how to guide you. through it. Yeah. You know, you don't. It's not something I think you want to. grab a handful of and go sit in a. [ __ ] closet, you know, and try to. figure it out for yourself. So, that's.

the real weirdness of any kind of a. psychedelic journey is that you're. probably going to be going through some. [ __ ] and someone could either manipulate. you during that time or help you during. that time, right? And there are people. that will manipulate you. Absolutely. And and that's why, you. know, that's why I go to this place. that's not that easy to go to, but just. because it's so safe. Mhm. Uh you know,

it's just it's set up perfectly for what. they're trying to do. And uh and it was. it was this guy's dream to do that to. make it accessible to regular people. So. back then when he opened up, you had to. go to a corrugated tin shack in Peru or. wherever to get this stuff. And he said, "I want to make a place that's safe to. go and people feel comfortable." And you. know, so isn't it kind of crazy that. that's illegal? I mean, it's kind of the. weirdest thing of all time that we. haven't just as a society went, okay,

why are all these people going to these. places? Okay, when they come back, do. they have positive experiences? Does it. help them? Yeah, a lot of them. Okay, why don't we do that here? It should be that simple. Should be that. simple. It should be so simple. Yeah. There was a guy there that was on a. scholarship they had for basically. wounded warriors that are going through. heavy PTSD. There's an organization that. is that's sending guys to arhythmia. And. uh so and I I got to talk to him a lot. while he was there. And he was a.

psychologist. Uh and but and he was he. was [ __ ] up and uh but I kind of got. to watch his transformation a little. bit. Watch this gu coming around. And. I'd seen that and I'd seen the. transformation in myself where I could. just not be so angry and not be and not. hold all this hate, you know, that that. I that that takes so much energy to. [ __ ] control and to have them really. show me a way to let all that stuff go,

you know, to uh and to be a happier. person. uh you know that uh and it's. hard to I really don't understand. Iawaska so it's really hard to explain. it to somebody else you know but uh but. I don't think anybody really understands. it. Yeah. Right. And I know there's some. stuff that's stronger than that but I. don't I don't know what it's called. I. you mean is that what it is? I is the. one that people use for. addiction. Um um there's a place called.

Beyond that's in Mexico that does that. Uh Rick Perry was telling us about that. A lot of uh former governor Rick Perry. is a part of that. He really wants to. bring um Iba Gain to Texas and have. treatment. We can't be gambling here. I. think they can get Iba Gain. I think. especially with a Republican like Rick. Perry who's really concerned about the. mental health of veterans because I. think that's where it really shines.

Ibegan in particular helps a lot of. people helps a gives you like a review. of your life apparently. I've never. experienced it but the people that have. have very positive things to say about. it and it's incredibly good at helping. people get over addictions. Um, it has a. very high success rate for one. treatment. I think it's in the 80%. And. then for if you do two treatments is. it's in the mid 90s. That's [ __ ]. amazing. Yeah. People that never go back. to the drugs. Never. Never go back to.

whatever it is, gambling, whatever you. have, whatever's wrong with you. All you got to do is figure out what's. wrong with you. Yeah. You got to figure. out why you're doing that. Like what is. this pathway that I keep going down. that's sabotaging my whole life? And. why? Why can I not resist it? Why do I. keep reaching for the bottle? What is. it? Why do I keep snorting coke? What is. it? What is it? Well, that was the. question I had with myself because I. drank like a fool for years. And you. don't say.

It was funny because we were whenever I. I was single again and I was in the. green room and I said, "Maybe I'll start. drinking again." And everybody at one. time went, "No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not I was I. was just kidding. I was just kidding. Well, you quit like that though. You did. like you were gone. I did. And uh but. but I went. to to to Rhythmia with. intention. I wanted to know why I was. doing this to myself and why I could not.

see a way to quit. And it was so tied up. in my persona, my stage presence, who I. really was. at the time. And I'm like, why is this. all tied to me and why can't I shake it? And and. so with. that, I also went through hypnosis cuz I. had to get sober before I went to. because that's not what their deal is. They're not a treatment facility. It. could be a byproduct of it, but they're. like, "Yeah, we're we're not going to we.

don't have detox here, you know, so you. have to quit some other way." and and. and once you've been sober for a month, you can come down here, which is exactly. what I did. I came up with a way to do. that. through hypnosis, which I thought was. pretty effective. And and but I got. sober once before in one of those rehabs. in Malibu for 90 grand. And. uh- which was at the time I was. spiraling, you know, I was I was living. in a five-star hotel in Beverly Hills. I.

was doing a bunch of blow. I was. screwing expensive hookers, which was. exactly my life plan, you know. I I'm. like, "Okay, here it is. This. is" and it ended up feeling pretty. hollow, you know, and I I ended up going. there. And um and I stayed sober for. about maybe six months or something like. that, but it was white knuckle the whole. [ __ ] time of, you know, no fun. But. when I when I did it the way I did it, when I checked into that facility, I got.

the sweat, night sweat so bad when I. quit that I would they had two beds in. the new people's things and I would soak. the sheets in one of them and move to. the other bed and soak the sheets in. that one. I was detoxing big time. Never. happened this time. I never had a night. sweat. Never regretted it. never thought. about it again. Never tempted wow to. drink again. And and you know and I I.

own number one tequila still and and. it's there at the green room every night. and I'm not even it doesn't even bother. me a bit. That's interesting. So that's. what the big fear a lot of people have. is how will I still be around bars, right? And it you know and and yeah. Is. it a little awkward at first? Yes. And. do I hang out in bars all the time other. than our club? Uh, no I don't. I mean I. I'll go listen to music if there's some.

but just to go to a bar and hang out, I. just don't do it. Right. And uh for. whatever reason. Well, it's not that. much fun being around drunks when you're. sober. No, it's really not. I think you. got to be in the vibe of the drunks to. appreciate drunk talk. Yeah. When you're. sober and someone's drunk and they're. telling you some [ __ ] story about. their boss being a douchebag, it's. like, whoa. Right. So, and I also have a. tendency, a natural tendency to just. kind of isolate anyway, you know? And.

so, I I really, that's one of the things. I love about the club is it gets me out. of the house. It gets me to go down. there where my friends are and do what I. do for a living and what I do for a. living and what I do for fun. Both. I. think a lot of people have that problem, that isolation problem, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think. that I I think that that people like you. and I, I think a lot is a lot gets. dumped on us, you know, u because I'm.

the of all the friends that I know that. I've known for a long while, I'm the. only one that has that's been very. successful, not out of my comic friends, but out of my regular friends. and and. uh and it seems like I. get just I have to take in a lot of. stuff and I never knew how to get rid of. it. So I would just get to the point. where I was full and I couldn't take. anymore and that's when I would isolate. myself, right? Too many people want. something from too many people want. something. That's why I'm gravitate.

towards you is because I know you don't. want jack [ __ ] from me except for me to. be your buddy and uh let us be brothers. in comedy and whatever. So, and life. And life. And so, you know, so that's. really good for me. Even today, you. know, that's what gets me out of the. house sometimes, you know. Oh, me too. And I mean, I love being home. I love. being home with my family, hanging out. But my comedy family, I love being. around, too. And that's what I feel. like. I feel like when especially when.

comics are in town that I don't get to. see that often. Oh, it's cool as [ __ ]. Oh, we all hang out together. It's. beautiful. Who are those two actors that. were at the club the other day? It was. so much fun to have them in there. The It was Which night? [ __ ] I don't. know. We We get a lot of visitors. When. Woody was there? No. Uh oh. Will Arnette and Brad Cooper? Yeah. Brendon Cooper and Well, it was. fun to have him in the green room. because, you know, we we we all were all.

around each other all the time. So, it. was fun to have a new people in there. with with stories we've never heard. I. wasn't there for that one. Yeah, it was. it was cool as [ __ ] you know, just to. have him hanging out, you know, good. guys, you know. Yeah, Woody was there. You weren't here when Woody was here. No. Oh my god, he was so much fun. He's. so fun. Did he do your show? No, he just. Yeah, he did my show and but then this. that was nights before that and he just. wanted to come to the club. He's been to. the club a couple of times now. Harrelson? Yeah. Oh, well, I didn't know.

that. Yeah, he's just been hanging out. [ __ ] I always wanted to meet that guy. Oh, he's so nice. We just all hung out. in the green room and he was just like. one of the boys. It was so easy. How. [ __ ] cool is that? So cool. So he's. so easy to talk to. So like and talks to. everybody the same way. He's like so. easy. He's just a genuine dude. He don't. even have a phone. You can't even get a. hold of him. Really? Yeah. He don't have. a phone. Doesn't have Doesn't do email. [ __ ] you. No [ __ ] He's like a got an. assistant that handles everything. Yeah.

Which is probably a freeing thing, you. know. Just just be just stop. just stop. Leave me alone, right? You know, well, I. don't answer emails anyway. So, but it's. also like let me know what I actually. let me think about what I think about. things instead of being inundated by all. these other people's thoughts constantly. all day long, which is valuable. It's. good to get other people's perspectives. on things. I think it enriches you, but. a certain point in time become become. captive to it. And I think there's just. too many people that are captive to. other people's thoughts. I think so,

too. That's why I'm so close-minded. And I really am. I'm truly close-minded. And I think you're open-minded. And I. try to be and and I and I and I struggle. with that because just letting people. pour information into my head, you know. I just I I just tend to avoid it. I I I. am engaged, you know, in that I I do follow things. closely and uh not the stock market, but. everything else. But, you know, that's.

been a little bruiser. Don't follow the. stock market right now. It's so. baffling. It's so crazy. Like, what is. going on? Like, the whole world is mad. at us. Trump's playing golf. And in. between uh swings, he's on the phone. with presidents of countries. We're. going to need more money. Yeah, that's. what somebody told me the other day. Like, is he playing checkers? Is he. playing chess? He's playing golf. He's. playing golf. Like, what does that mean? Everybody wants to think there's some. like grand plan to it. Well, I think. think the grand plan is. look you the you know we remember back.

when um the was it the 92 elections when. Ross Perau was in Mhm. So when Ross. Perau laid out what happened do you. remember during that debate where Ross. Perau laid out what happened with the. tariffs so that like they when we try to. sell stuff over there we get a high. tariff. It's like a 35% tariff, but they. don't get tariffs when it comes over. here. It's not the same. It's not like,

you know, you guys, there's a tax on. everybody. If you want to sell your. goods to encourage people to buy. American products, if you want to sell. your products in America, we get a tax. That tax goes to the [ __ ] grid or. whatever the hell they're fixing with. it, right? Ros was laying it out like. this is how all the jobs went to Mexico. Because have you ever seen that, Jamie? It's it's See if you could find it. It's. a great speech because Ross He talked. about the giant sucking sound. Yes, you. actually mentioned that earlier in the. morning. That's what I was talking. about. Yes, that's it. That's funny. Did.

you just see that recently or something? No, I just remember it. Oh boy. The. giant. He would have been a great. president. I voted for him. He had uh. big ears, you know, and he didn't come. across an independent. He was an. independent and nobody was voting for. independent. By the way, they changed. the whole way debates work after this. because it used to be if you got 5% of. the vote in the primary that you could. be a part of the presidential. debates and uh that's not the case. anymore. Or it was 5% in a poll. I.

forget what the number was that you had. to reach, but it wasn't a high threshold. and then you could be a part of the. debate. And they changed the [ __ ] out of. that after this because Ross Perau. tanked it. They thought HW was going to. go for a second term, right? And. meanwhile, Ross Perau [ __ ] it up. because a lot of people that would have. voted for Bush voted for Ross and the. people that were already going to vote. for Clinton voted for Clinton and. Clinton won. But play this $13, $14 an. hour for factory workers and you can. move your factory south the border. Pay. a dollar an hour for labor. Hire young. 25. That's assume you've been in.

business for a long time. You got a. mature workforce. Pay a dollar an hour. for your labor. Have no health care. That's the most expensive single element. making a car. Have no environmental. controls, no pollution controls. and no. retirement and you don't care about. anything but making money, there will be. a J sucking sound going. There it is. right there. We if if the people send me. to Washington, the first thing I'll do. is study that 2,000page agreement and. make sure it's a two-way street. I one.

last point here. I've called I decided I. was dumb and didn't understand it. So, I. called the who's who of the folks who've. been around it and I said, "Why won't. everybody go south?" They said, "We'll. be disrupted." I said, "For how long?". And I finally got them up for 12 to 15. years. And I said, "Well, how does it. stop being disruptive?" And that is when. their jobs come up from a dollar an hour. to $6 an hour and ours go down to $6 an. hour. Then it's leveled again. But in. the meantime, you've wrecked the country. with these kinds of deals. Jesus Christ. What a [ __ ] smart man. He was right. And that's exactly what happened. American manufacturing collapsed. Yeah.

And they did it all for money. And they. did it all because they were greedy. They were already rich, right? And if we. could have just gotten those. [ __ ] to Iawaska, Jesus Christ, they'd have smoothed the [ __ ] out, man. They would have said, "Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, let's be nice. Let's. make America great again." I don't. understand the trade war with with. Canada cuz have you ever met a Canadian. that had $35 in his pocket? No, they're. all broke. They have $22. That's And. they'll buy you a beer. You know, I love.

Canadians. I've always Yeah, they're. broke. They don't have any money up. there. How come they don't have any. money? Because because it's socialism, you know, they just they I think it's a. great place. Don't you love Canada? I. love it. Well, they have socialized. medicine, but it's not it's a capitalist. society. It is, but socialized medicine. and it's expensive. So, they What how. much what percentage that Canadians pay. in taxes? So, I don't know. Let's find. that out. What is uh what's the Canadian. tax rate? I know it's higher than. Americans. I know. Mine's a [ __ ] And.

when you go over there, you have to pay. taxes, too. Like, if you do a gig. Yeah, you have to pay taxes. Yeah, you pay. Canadian taxes on your and you get paid. in Canadian dollars. I don't I'm not. going up there much for shows. Yeah, but. you know, so here it is. Canadian. Canada's top federal income tax rate is. 33%. While the US is 37%. Right. However, when combining federal, provincial, state taxes, Canadians often. face higher marginal rates across. various income levels. That's. interesting that theirs is only 33%,

ours is 37. I thought ours was lower. than theirs. I thought ours was 40. Well, it is when you get to a certain. tax bracket. Correct. Isn't. it? Ours changes when you get higher, right? Yeah, it does. 33% on the portion over. $246,000. What's a What's ours in terms. of like the highest tax bracket? What's. the highest US? Is it 37? That's what it. is.

What's really crazy to me is when people. say the rich should pay more taxes. Okay, fine. But where do you think. that's going? Where's that going? Where. is the money going? Is the money's going. to the federal government? Do you think. they're good at it? Do you think they're. good at managing your money? Have you. paid attention to all the [ __ ] Elon's. [ __ ] uncovered? 37% is when you make. over $69,000 a year. That's you, [ __ ] Well, that's that's me. last month. This is the thing. It's like um I'm.

happy to pay tax if I thought that they. were doing a great job, but it's just. you are being strongarmed into giving. money to people that do a really shitty. job of protecting your money and in and. investing it in the country. It's a lot. of is going to bureaucracy and. [ __ ] and a bunch of things that you. don't have any say in. If you could like. opt out of it, if you could like imagine. if you like pick what you, you know, if.

you had like a whole tax sheet, what you. like your money to go to? Would you like. your money to go to uh overthrowing. governments? No. Like what if the. federal government's budget was entirely. based on the will of the people? Like. you get to choose like how much of your. money you want to put into drone strikes. in Yemen. I says I don't want zero of my. money going to that. you know, how many. how much money do you want to go to this. or that or clean water? Okay, clean. water sounds good. You know, how much. infrastructure? [ __ ] yeah, fix the. streets. Well, I'm kind of I agree with.

you and I and I've just heard you say. this that u you know that everybody. should have access to health care and. education 100%. And uh the whole. country, the whole country, everybody. That would rise us all up. 100%. Less. losers. That's how you make America. great. less losers, less people that are. saddled down with a lifetime of debt. because they broke their leg. That's. crazy. Yeah. All my, you know, all my. son's uh friends are all saddled with.

$90,000 worth of [ __ ] student loan. debts and uh subsidized and my son was. lucky enough to that I had enough money. to pay for his, you know, and uh and so. he doesn't have that burden. But god. damn it, nobody should have that burden. for an education. And it's just a. for-profit institution that roped you. into thinking that that was necessary. that you have to be. And by the way, you. can get as good an education right now. online as is available anywhere on earth.

if you have the discipline. If you have. the discipline. Yeah. That's what's so. wild. That's what's so fascinating about. this time is that it is basically. obsolete and yet people are still paying. $70,000 a year for it and more. Like. what does Harvard cost? How much is Har. what's Harvard's yearly tuition, Jamie? What do you guess? I was at least. 50. Yeah, at least 50. I imagine if. you're a middle class guy and you got. two kids and they do real good and they. don't have scholarships and you got to.

pay for them. I can't imagine. I mean, I. I don't see how people do it. I mean, I. really don't barely do it. Oh boy. The. total cost of attendance incl uh. including fees, housing, and food. reaching around $82,000. Undergraduate tuition is. $56,550 for a year. That's a lot of. money, man. That's one year. O. And if you drop out after one year, then you have nothing and you're down 80. grand. But if you make it through those. four years, now you're 200 grand in the.

hole that you owe. And then you have to. get a job. And then you get a job that. pays 50 and you're like, "What?" Yeah. Oh my god. I'll never right. I'll never. pay this off. And then you have a to. throw a couple of kids on top of that. and and. you know something wild there's people. out there their social security is. getting docked because they owe student. loans. So they take money out of your. social security to pay for your student. loans because the student loans is the.

one thing you can never escape. You. can't bankrupt it. Which is so crazy. It's cruel. It doesn't make any sense. You're saddling an 18-year-old with the. burden of a lifetime. C Harvard will. offer free tuition for families earning. $200,000 or less a year. Oh, that's. great. To who? That's a new offering it. to who? You can't even get into Harvard, right? But it's still a good uh will be. free for students and families earning. $200,000 or less a year. College.

announced Monday. Harvard has long. sought to open our doors to the most. talented students no matter their. financial circumstances. That's great. Yeah, it is. That's great. I just don't. know if it's necessary. I think it's. probably necessary for kids to go to. school just to like a passage, a right. of passage, you know, like I think. ceremonies and rights of passages are. missing in our society. Yeah. And. especially I could speak for young men. They don't know when they're a man. Like. am I a man yet? Am I a man? Like there's. some men that, you know, in their 30s,

their dad's still yelling at them. You. know what I mean? It's like, when am I. when do I am I a man? When am I an. equal? when am I you know we don't have. a ceremony you know in other tribal. societies and all all throughout history. people have had rituals rights of. passage rituals where people feel like. okay we [ __ ] made it you know like. you have a black belt ceremony you got. your black belt all right I made it you. know I'm in but you know that so I think. there's a benefit in that in society but. then you got to like unlearn all this.

[ __ ] your [ __ ] crazy professors are. telling you go to college? Yes, I went. to UMass Boston. Oh, wow. That's a good. school. Great. Easy to get into. I was I. only went because I didn't want people. thinking I was a loser. That's the only. reason why I went. I just wasted my time. there. I went for three years just. wasting my time taking class so I could. tell people I was going to college. Oh, I didn't waste any time. I I got kicked. out of high school in the 10th grade.

So, you know, my mind is an open book. there. A lot of the pages aren't filled. in. And I you know what and I I. always kind of I I regret I regret that. a little bit, you know, that that I. didn't go to college that I didn't uh. What do you regret about it? Well, just you. know, I I Well, I number one, I think. I'd be. smarter. I But I I don't know what it.

is. And I and and I I've made it just. fine with what I've had, you know, and. uh and you know, I've got attention. deficit disorder and and all these. things. It really kept me from doing. traditional school work very well. I'm. not even sure that's real. Attention. deficit disorder? Yeah. I don't think. it's real. You don't? No. Let me change. your mind. I think there's a lot of. people that aren't interested in a lot. of things. But when they're interested, when I when they say attention deficit. disorder, why are those guys so good at. video games? Like why are they so good. at things that aren't school? I think. it's just you're I think the hum I think.

we could categorize it into a bunch of. different like disorders and problems. and but I think a lot of that is a way. to get you hooked on some sort of. pharmaceutical drug that's going to fix. whatever problem you have that doesn't. allow you to sit in class and listen to. some boring [ __ ] for [ __ ] six hours. You got no problem writing jokes, Ron. White. You got no problem performing. Like it's it's not like there's not a. thing that you can't excel at that you. can you can pay attention when you're on. stage. I don't know. I don't know about. that. I think standup.

comedy was the answer to every problem I. had because that's what I was good at. You're a comic. You're you are a comic. Like that's who what you're supposed to. do. But let me give you an example. But. that's my point is that there's a lot of. different like functions in society. There's a lot of different roles in. society. I think they probably tag. ADD to people that don't have it. But I. know that I still have it. So if let's. say that I was going to put together a.

ceiling fan Mhm. and hang it in my roof, which I'm not. Uh I could no more do that than the man. in the moon without an aderall. If I. take an aderall, I'll read the. directions. I'll put the whole thing. together and hang it on. No problem. Without it, I bet you can do it without. it. Stare at it. I've I've tried. You. just You're bored. You you need. excitement. You just you're a certain. type of dude who needs a certain type of.

stimulation and which is why you like. the high wire act of performing live. I. don't think it's a disorder. I think. it's a superpower. Ah, I do. Well, I. like the sound of that. I do. I think. the ability the inability to pay. attention to [ __ ] that's not interesting. is not a disorder. Just you know what's. interesting and what's. not. You know, to this like maybe I have. it too cuz this day when I'm talking to. someone, they're saying something really. boring. I go I want to run away, right? You don't you don't hear a word that's. coming out of their mouth. And I just. can't It's like it's.

I just want to get out. I'm the same. way. But that doesn't mean I have a. disorder. I don't think I have a. disorder because if I'm talking to you, I got no problem at all. Well, let's. let's let's get two ceiling fans out. here. Yeah. I'm I'm I'm sure I'm not that good. at putting together a ceiling fan. either. I wouldn't enjoy it, but I could. do it. You just follow the directions. Like you could follow directions. It's. not hard. It's just you wouldn't enjoy. it. But if there was something that you. enjoyed doing like learning how to swing.

a golf club better, then you could pay. attention. I do pay attention to that. That's all I'm saying. I think there's. roles in this world. There's there's and. and different personalities fit. perfectly into mathematics. Different. personalities fit perfectly in. philosophy. Different per engineering, different personalities. It's like you. just got to find out what what vibes. with the way you think. And we all think. differently. We all have different. backgrounds. We all have different. biology. You know, you just got to find. what is the thing that like syncs up.

with the way your mind works. And the. problem with traditional education is. they're it was designed by the. Rockefeller family. Like the school. system in this country was designed to. create better factory workers, right? And and soldiers and to get them real. early. That's why they want to start you. at five because they figured out when. you start people at 12 or 13, they. already got their ideas of what the. world is and how the world works. And. I'm not [ __ ] shooting somebody for. you, you know? So, what they do is they. get you when you're five. And when. you're five, they can kind of.

indoctrinate you, separate you from your. parents most of the day while your. parents are at work. And so that's like. most of your day you have other people. other than your parents telling you how. the world is, how the world works, what's happening in in, you know, in. your life and what you should be doing. And that's kind of crazy because a lot. of those people suck. I remember. thinking that when I was a kid, like. thinking how strange it is that people. that I don't respect and I don't enjoy. are the ones that are in control of.

communicating to me most of the day. I. remember very clearly thinking that when. I was a little kid, like 10, 11 years. old. Yeah. You know, I know that when. when I was a kid, I used to have this. uh this history. teacher who was also a PE coach. Now, he. had something as intriguing as history. to teach me, but I could not listen to. him talk. So, he couldn't even make. American history interesting. But a good. teacher could have done it. A good.

teacher could have roped me in to what. was going on and the story of it and how. it affects my life and the lives of my. parents and my grandparents, how it all. went down, you know, and you that's an. interesting story. But if you're a dull. [ __ ] assistant coach basketball and. now you got a [ __ ] one period of. history and you have a monotone voice. and I'm. just out of it. I imagine what it would. have been like to have access to. wonderful educators, right? But if you.

were listening like, you ever listen to. Dan Carlin's podcast? No. He's got this. podcast called Hardcore History. It's. incredible. Incredible. It's amazing. It's such a good podcast. And this guy. will like lay out the events of World. War I in a way that you you will hang on. every word and you'll park your car. Like if you got to go somewhere, you'll. keep your car running because you just. want to listen to where this is going. Wow. Yeah. So, if a guy like that was. teaching you history, that would have. been great. I mean, I think I would have.

been engaged. You probably would have. been a historian. Yeah. Making nothing. Yeah. I mean, but this he's Dan Carlin's. doing. well. But that's um someone who loves. what they do. And that's the difference. School is this weird indoctrination. [ __ ] ritual that we all have to go. through and then we all have to feel. real bad about ourselves because we. don't want to be there and we're not. doing good at it. I felt like a [ __ ]. complete loser in school. I never felt.

like I was that I was supposed to be. there. I never felt like I was. smart, you know. But I. remember. like like finally when I realized that I. was never like what I was going to. school for three years when I went to. college for three years when I finally. was like what am I doing? I got to stop. doing this is just wasting time because. that's all I was doing. I was just. completely wasting time. It was like a. huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I. could just go eh this is not for me.

Well the one thing is I didn't waste. that time you know right there you go. So there you go. did the. uh but you know I I think I'd have a. better. understanding of how the world works if. I'd understood world history you know. that I mean those kinds of things I you. know I just wish I was you know I wish I. had an. education but what would I do with it I. have no idea I'd still do standup so. yeah well hopefully and I wouldn't be. any [ __ ] funny Jesus Christ imagine.

if you did imagine if you did go down a. different road that would have sucked. I don't I was before I started doing. standup, I was a window salesman and u. and I was broke and I had nothing and I. was. unimpressive and. uh my in-laws bought us a garage door. opener. So I had a garage door opener. Now you're going to think this is really. [ __ ] weird.

I used to wear that garage door opener. on my belt so people would think I had a. beeper. [Laughter]. I just hang it, clip it right there on. my People don't know about the beeper. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people listening. right now like have no idea what that. is. Ron and I have been through all the. various stages of. technological inter wizardry. Yeah. But. the inter intertwining of our in our. lives, the way it you know the the first.

thing was the beeper. Like you would get. a beeper like my friend Johnny had one. You could page people. You could page. him and he would call the number. Yeah. Hey, what's up? And you stop at a phone. booth. Now that what a phone booth is. And he'd have to like put quarters in. the phone and look at the beeper. and hey, what's up? Hey, what's going. on? Where you at? And you'd have a. conversation with someone. That's how. you get a hold of him. You have to page. him, right? Yeah. Joey Diaz had a pager.

forever. Joey Diaz had a pager deep into. the like maybe the 2000s. Wow. Not. kidding. Yeah. Definitely in the 90s he. had a pager cuz I remember sometimes he. would go Awall and I'd be paging him. like where are you? Like uh one time we. were doing a gig in Jersey. We're doing. Rascals in East Orange and he [ __ ]. never showed up. And I finally got a. hold of on the phone. He's like I'm not. going to lie to you dog. I never left. Vegas. Like, god damn it, Joey.

I'll never forget that conversation. I. never left Vegas. I'm not going to lie. to you, dog. I never left. Vegas. It was just having a good time. Uh, but that's how you got a hold of. him. You'd have to page him. That was. it. And then when you got then one day. he got a phone. And when he got a phone, you better not [ __ ] text him. If you. text him, he'll yell at you. Like Brian. Redband used to text him. He go, "Stop. [ __ ] texting me.". And then Joey eventually got an iPhone. and Brian got a text from him one day. I'm like, he's texting. He's like, he.

[ __ ] texted me. Now we'll text you, but he doesn't like to text. He's good. He's coming down soon. He's going to be. here in a couple weeks. Good. Good. He. um he's come be coming real soon, right? When is he here? Two weeks. Okay. Yeah. Um he would uh he only wants to talk to. you on the phone. I go, why why do you. why don't you like talking to people? He. goes He goes, "I'm insecure. I want to. hear your voice. I want to tell you I. love you." Yeah. I'm like, "Okay, I get. it. I get it." He's old school. Yeah. He. Yeah. He calls me every once in a while.

just to say hello. Just to say hi. Yeah. Just to say hi. Yeah. He's like the Just. checking on you. He might be the number. one dude that I just talk to, mostly on. the phone. Very few text messages. between me and Joey. Other than I'll ask. him like, "Hey, is April 22nd good?". "Yeah, we're good." "Okay, see you. then." So, is he just coming down to do. sets? And he's coming down to do sets. Um he's getting ready. He's going to do. a special. So he's uh doing a bunch of. shows. He's got a a residency. I think. he's doing it in Philly. Is he doing in. Philly? We'll find out when he gets.

here. But he's doing a residency. He's. done a few of these residencies where he. shows up like every weekend. He has. shows places. People love him. He did uh. he opened up for Tom in Madison Square. Garden. Tom said when he went on stage, they just went [ __ ] ape [ __ ] Oh, how. cool is that? They went apehit cuz they. didn't know he was coming, you know. And. then also, and ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Joey Diaz. He's like the snuffleophagus. He's a. mythical creature, right? He is. He is. There's nothing like him. Nothing like. him. Completely unique human being, you.

know? It was fun to watch him just stomp. the [ __ ] out of the [ __ ] room at the. at the store, man. He just beat the [ __ ]. out of those crowds. Beat the [ __ ] out. of those crowds. some of the sets that I've seen him have. in the O would I. think I I think it's the funniest thing. I've ever seen in my life. I've seen. everybody I've seen everyone great great. great comedians who I love to death and. I'll watch them every time they perform.

But I think Joey hit RPMs that nobody. hit. He he hit these moments. No, I saw. him wind them up, man. Just wind them. up. And so when people say like, "Who's. the funniest guy ever?" I'm like, "Come, man. I don't, you know, there's guys. with great insight." Like Patrice had. great insight. He was really hilarious, but he also had like great insight. Joey. Diaz, you ain't getting no insight out. of Joey Diaz. He's giving you He's. rockum robots. He's here to [ __ ] you up.

He's here to [ __ ] that crowd up. He he used to have this bit about Terry. Cruz like when Terry Cruz uh accused. some guy of grabbing his dick, you know, and he had this bit about Terry Cruz in. an underwear commercial. Oh my god, it. was so funny. You would you'd be in the. back of the room just barely brea You. couldn't breathe. Everyone like I was. looking around the people are falling. out of their chairs like they couldn't.

handle it. And he was on fire, just. purple, [ __ ] red in the face, screaming and yelling like, "Oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god." Those are some of. the first sets I saw you do with at the. store and when you were doing that bit. where you were standing on top of the. stool and Kardashian [ __ ] and I just. remember just how just dicks slapped. those [ __ ] crowds. I'm like, "God. damn it. He He's good at this." [ __ ].

It's a fun job, bro. It is the funnest. job. We're so lucky. We're We're so. lucky in so many ways. It just It. doesn't make sense. Yeah. When I think about a life without. standup, it makes me nervous to even. think about Well, we almost did it, right? Yeah. I mean, when we all went. through that with COVID, I mean, you. were basically saying you were done. I. thought it was done. Yeah. I I I didn't. like it anymore. It was I was halfway. through every set. I was couldn't wait.

for it to be over. Wow. And and now I go on stage and I have. this whole new gratitude for these. crowds, you know, that are still there. waiting bigger than ever. My shows sell. out faster than they ever have. Is that. amazing? Uh and part of it is just. because there's less of them, I guess, but also it's because of my friends. You. know, the word gets out, you know, you. guys didn't let me die. Yeah. Yeah. We.

knew I mean I tell everybody but it's. true. Like you're one of the reasons why. we decided to buy a club because of you. because you grabbed me when you got off. stage that first time. You hadn't been. on stage in like eight months and you. grabbed me by the shoulders. Whatever. the [ __ ] we have to do, we're going to. keep doing this. Yeah. And we did. I'll. never forget that moment. I was like, "Okay, we're going to do it." You're. going to get that [ __ ] club open. I'm. like, "We're going to do it.". I was already thinking about doing it. very seriously because I realized like.

early on coming here I was like we need. a place. We can't just uh be working out. of these rock and roll clubs. They're. not set up right. No. You know. No. There's a difference. I don't even like. to do I don't even like to do sets other. places. I don't either. That's really. what's wrong with the with the mother. ship. No. It'll spoil your [ __ ] ass. uh you know with great crowds and. perfect acoustics and an amazing sound. system and and uh you know just and then. when you move over to another room which.

I rarely do another set in town I did. one the other a couple of months ago and. I was like this. sucks if you guys want to find me I'll. be down at the mother ship and uh but uh. yeah we did it Ron we actually did it. you know it's interesting when you look. back at those conversations we used to. have. Like we were in the Vulcan hanging. out in the green room talking about what. the club's going to be like. Yeah. But. it seemed like a pipe dream. And I know. a lot of people probably did think it.

was fake. There's a lot of people in LA. like Tony used to talk to him all the. time. Yeah. When's Joe opening that. club? Club's never going to open. It's. all [ __ ] You guys move down there. for no [ __ ] reason. Because the thing. about you taking a making a choice, that's a scar. Oh, it is. Yeah. If the. thing about uh you making a choice to go. and you know start something up and the. people that are left behind they kind of. want you to fail especially the haters. right they want you to so Tony was like. encountering that all the time.

these people that just for whatever. reason they don't want other people to. they don't want people to escape the. bomb that they're in. You know, it's. like people from the neighborhood that. don't want you to leave. And when you do. leave, oh, look who's back. You're. right. People, for whatever reason, people. really like when people fail. You know, it's a gross feeling. It's a gross. thing, but it's super super. common. Looking for a joint. Yeah. Jesus.

Christ, we're on white. Don't you know. we're in. Texas, you know? Um, that's the first thing they got to. fix is make this [ __ ] legal in the whole. country. It's so crazy that what's. stopping them? Oh, I don't know. I don't. understand it. I mean, it's a political. beach ball. It's one of those things. that just gets tossed around that I. think is good. for the establishment that runs the. country. It's good to keep it up in the.

air. Like, I'll promise when I get in. office, gays will be able to marry. Yay. Right. And then they're talking about. there's people that want to take that. off the table. You know, it's like. there's a bunch of those things like. Roie Wade. That was a big one. There's a. bunch of these cultural beach balls that. are very important issues to some people. and uh they get exploited by politicians. as a way to promise you this and promise. you that. But sure, but it. never nothing ever gets fixed. Nothing.

ever changes, right? You know, well, it's changing a little, you know. I. didn't think marijuana would ever be. legal in Oklahoma. I thought they'd be. behind us, you know. But boy, you go. there now, it's billboards on every. [ __ ] street corner. Come get your. weed, you know. New Mexico just. authorized psilocybin therapy. Really? Yep. For people with depression, I think. depression and anxiety. Is that what. it's for? Is that what they're they're. using it? Those terms which apply to. basically everybody. Right. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody's had some.

depression and some anxiety. There you. go. Now you can get some mushrooms and. figure your life out. Oh, maybe I'll. give it a try. Yeah. It's just the. problem is federally it's still not. legal and that which is it's so dumb. It's so dumb, you know, and I don't. think it's going to change. unfortunately. I don't think I think. Trump is too busy with all these other. issues. I don't think he's interested in. that. So. co-sponsor said uh here it goes. The. bill would establish an advisory board,

treatment equity fund, and research fund. as well as remove psilocybin from the. controlled substances act to provide to. protect qualified and registered. patients, clinicians, and producers. According to a news release jointly uh a. news release released jointly by the. office of the Senate and the House. Democrats, if P. So, this is what the. Democrats have over the Republicans. freedom to explore your consciousness. Republicans, for whatever reason, yeah, they they shy away from that. Um, it.

doesn't fit with their conservative. mindset of. what you should. And it used to be it. didn't fit the freedom of speech didn't. fit with their their mindset. And now. the Republicans are all about freedom of. speech because they realized the. consequences of it during the last. election cycle. you know, uh, when. things get censored and when you have a. town square that's curated by not just. the big tech companies, but also by the.

federal government itself, things can. get weird when you're trying to access. the truth. You want to know what is. actually going on. When certain stories. have actually been suppressed for the. news because the federal government. deems them misinformation, even if they. turn out to be true, uh, that's not. good. And so for because of that, the. right is supporting freedom of speech, which I think is [ __ ] great. That's. great. That's what we all should be. supporting. But we also should should. be supporting the freedom to expand your.

consciousness. And people have been. doing it in certain ways for thousands. and thousands of years. Thousands of. years. And you don't know better if you. haven't done it. If you haven't done it. yourself and you're passing judgment on. people that have, you're not qualified. If you if you want to go, you know, do a. psilocybin session, like a heavy what. Terrence McKenna would call a heroic. dose, you want to do that and then talk. [ __ ] Okay. Yeah. But until then, because the the thing is like it would. preclude you from doing the things that.

you're doing, know this, okay? If you. are a [ __ ] rampant capitalist and all. you give a [ __ ] about is your hedge fund. and all you give a [ __ ] about is the. stock market and numbers and buying this. exclusive that and that exclusive this. and getting tickets to this exclusive. thing and all you're about is like. status and numbers. It will [ __ ] that. up. It will [ __ ] that whole thing. sideways. You won't be able to take any. of that seriously anymore. But that's.

good. It's good for you. You're not. supposed to be taking that seriously. If. you've. got half a billion dollars and you're. still scrambling to try to make more. money, like, pause. You're 67 years old. You're going to die if you're lucky in. 30 years. If you're so lucky to hit 97. Oh, yeah. 30 years happens so quick, man. We've been here for five, Ron. I. know. We've been here. You were here for. six. You were here. You were patient.

zero. I always say you're patient zero. in the the Austin invasion because I. remember calling you. It was it 2018. when you moved here? 17 I think. 17. I. remember calling you going, "What are. you doing down there?" Like, "We miss. you at the store." I [ __ ] love it. down here. Middle of the country. If I. want to fly, I can fly anywhere real. quick. People are nice. Food's great. I. was like, "Fuck, can I live in Texas?" I. started thinking about it then, but then. when the pandemic hit and I knew you. were here and then I had some friends in.

LA that were also real sketched out by. all of it, they all wound up moving. somewhere else. A couple of them moved, well, two families that I was real good. friends with, they moved to Dallas and. then another good family uh family. friend moved to Vegas and then another. one just decided to stay and we all came. out here together. You know, groups of. friends and uh when we were looking. around Austin, I was like, "Fuck, Ron. White lives here. I could live here.". That was like one of the first things I. thought. I thought, "If Ron lives here, at least I have Ron." Yeah. I got a.

friend. Yeah. And I was like, "Okay, I. can't do standup right now anyway." But. then as soon as I moved, Tony's like, "Fuck it. I'm moving." I was like, "You're moving, too?" And then Sigura's. like, "I'm in." I was like, "Holy shit.". And then Brian Simpson came out real. early. And I didn't really know Brian. well at all um until Tom introduced me. to him. Tom was like, "Dude, you got to. meet this guy. He's so funny." He is. too, man. He's so funny. So, he was here. early, too. And then Assan and Derek. both moved out here early. I'm like, "Oh, [ __ ] We got something going on.".

And then Tim Dylan bought a house out. here. I was like, "Oh my goodness, what. is happening? This is crazy." And then. Duncan was like, "Man, [ __ ] North. Carolina. I don't know." Like, "Come to. Texas, motherfucker." And then all a. sudden Duncan's out here. Like, "Holy. [ __ ] Holy [ __ ] This is crazy." I'm. like, "All right, we're up and running.". And by the time we decided to make that. club, [ __ ] we had like 10 great guys. living here. 12. And more were coming. And more were coming. Yeah. Dylan and. Tony. There's so many different guys.

from the store that used to work at the. store all the time. Yeah, I roped Tony. in, man. I uh I'm like, we need Tony. here. I gave him my [ __ ] condo and. let him use one of my Range Rovers to go. out to Dallas. Yeah, I live here for a. week. I don't know where I was, but uh. yeah, you spend a week here, you'll go, this is doable. This is Well, we all. were so excited because it felt like we. were doing something different. Yeah. You know, it felt like we were doing. something different. I've always had. this [ __ ] it part of me. I was like,

"Fuck it. Let's go." I'm That's me. I. love doing that. I love it. You do. You're impetuous as [ __ ] I like it. From the time I You told me you were. going to I'm going to move there. You. had a house like two days later. I'm. like, "God damn, this guy moves when he. moves." Yeah. My kids helped a lot. because they really wanted to move. They. That sweet ass place on the lake. That's. That's good. That's good living over. there. It's also like when we came here, no one had masks on and everybody was. acting normal. Yeah. And so my kids were.

like, "What's going on?" Like, "Why? How. come everyone's normal here? We should. live here, you know?" And then it just. it just happened. And then all of a. sudden, the store's closed so I could. get all the employees. And then I was. like, "Look, I'll pay you now. You don't. have to work. Just hang out." Yeah. Let's Let's We're going to do something. special. That was more money than you. were thinking. It was, but it. Money is fun coupons. Yeah, fun tickets. That's right. That's what it's supposed. to be. If you're not not having fun and.

you have money, you're doing something. wrong because you should be trying to. have fun. And sometimes some things you. have to pay for in order to have fun. A. lot of fun is free, but there's a lot of. fun where you go like, "Oh, we got to. buy a building. We have to hire an. architect. We have to pay a construction. crew. We have to, you know, we have to. do a lot of things." But that's the way. to do it. That's what you're supposed to. do. And that I was the person who was. able to do it because the the universe. had decided that this thing wanted to.

get made and we hit every green light. And then I was like, "Okay, well clearly. this is the thing I'm supposed to do. This, you know, I know it sounds crazy, but let's go, you know, but I the whole. thing was crazy." Like it was in the. middle of the biggest deal I'd ever done. ever in my whole life. Spotify, this. crazy thing. I was like I the show was. already like the number one. What does. that feel like? Signed that [ __ ]. deal. Bananas. Bananas. But I was also.

like, "Okay, well, what should you know? You have to figure out what you're going. to do." Like, you have to be you you. can't be at the whim of all these other. people's ideas and expectations. Like, what do you want to do? I was like, I. want to get the [ __ ] out of LA. So, let's do it. So, I moved in the middle. of everything. So, there's this giant. deal I have and all of a sudden they're. like, "Where are you going?" I bet they. were like, "I'm going to Texas." They're. like, "Don't go to Texas. This is. crazy." Like, "Are you sure you won't be. able to get guest?" I'm like, "Look, I'm.

flying guests in three times a week. anyway, right? I was already flying. people in from New Mexico and New York.". New York. And New York's closer than, you know, it's a great spot really, right? It's not like a six-hour flight. That six-hour flight across the whole. country is a pain in the ass. that, you. know, the people were worn out by the. time they got there. So, you know, they. had to like have a night to rest and. relax and rehydrate and and then the. next day maybe, you know, still they're. probably not 100%. You know, this is. like three hours. Three-hour flight.

ain't [ __ ] It's a three-hour flight. from everywhere. Yeah. It's easy. It's a. great spot. Yeah. But it's also like I. feel like sometimes the universe calls. you in a way and tells you just like. gives you a feeling like an I think. ideas are like a life form. I really do. I think it's like an unexplored life. form. I think that's why the concept of. the muse is so enticing to people. because there's something real to it. Like when you decide you're just gonna.

sit there and write and you just have it. doesn't always come like sometimes you. get nothing but sometimes because you. sat there you'll have some of the best. lines you've ever written because I. think they're like life forms that you. have to call into your life and I think. sometimes these life forms these ideas. they just exist in the ether and by. circumstance they like kind of gel. together and become more more valid and. more alive and then they enter into your. mind. And if you're ready to receive.

these ideas, you have to act on them. Especially if they're positive. I'm not. saying, you know, go [ __ ] burn out. the capital building cuz you have an. idea. I mean, positive ideas, not. vengeful like if you have a good a good. soul, if your your goal in life is a. positive thing, these ideas will come to. you and you're supposed to if you can, you're supposed to act on them. And I. felt like, wow, what a unique. opportunity I have to be able to do. this. I shouldn't be scared because it's.

daunting and it's expensive and it's. like what are you doing? Like you just. just do it. Just do what you do. Just. you know here's one thing that I. believe. I believe. that things disguise themselves and we. call them coincidences, but there really. are no coincidences. And if you'll look. for things that look like coincidences, you could follow that line and go. somewhere with it. Yeah. And uh and I I. feel like that that's what happened. whenever uh you know with the mass. exodus and people started coming to the. comedy to to make this the best comedy.

scene in the world. Yeah. Uh the you. know th those things fell into place. because that's what was supposed to. happen and and uh and I think it all. happened because of me in that I needed. it the worst. I needed this more than. anybody else did. And I feel like I was. able to cash in all my [ __ ] karma or. whatever and draw it all into me a. little bit because I needed it. And I. And so, you know, well, it makes sense.

Like, it's a certainly a huge factor, right? Because if you didn't inspire me. to even think about Austin, I wouldn't. have and I wouldn't have moved here if. you weren't here. I don't think maybe I. would have, but it helped a lot that you. were here. I was like, "This makes it so. much easier that I know Ron's here." And. cuz it was weird times then, man. Everything was even going to a. restaurant, you felt like you were a. rebel. Like, it felt weird. It felt. weird to not be scared. Like you like. you wanted to hide the fact that you. weren't scared that you wanted to just. go out. It was a strange strange strange.

time that I think even now we look back. on and we can't like I watched a um a. UFC fight the other day, an older fight. and all the cornermen had masks on. I'm. like this is the craziest thing that we. time stamp right there. You know, it's. bizarre. It was a a fight that took. place in an arena in Florida with no. crowd. No. crowd. It was Justin Gatechi versus Tony. Ferguson. It was one of the first fights.

we did back. Um, it was like And you. were there? Uhhuh. Yeah. And I was. watching the fight uh the other day and. I was looking at the corner. They all. had masks on. I was like, "What a weird. [ __ ] time. What a weird I remember. like people would get upset if I didn't. wear a mask backstage." I'm like, "What. are we doing? What is this for? Like. this is crazy. These guys are beating. the [ __ ] out of each other and sweating. on each other, you know?" And all of us. tested negative. That's how we got. through here. Like, is someone going to.

magically going to get COVID while we're. all wandering around together? Don't we. all test negative? So, you to get in. this room, they had to be able to test. you. Everybody got tested. Like those. shows that you did with Chappelle. Exactly. So, we're all in this room. Take that [ __ ] stupid mask off. But. even the shows we did with Chappelle, outside the people were supposed to wear. masks. Outside. Outside. Everyone's. tested. Is this a mystery magical. disease that we're encountering that. like demons hiding in the woods for No,

it it but it but it was too at one time, wasn't it? Yeah. You know, I I lost Vic. Henley to that disease in New York City. early on. But Vic was not a healthy guy. What the what the disease did is exposed. metabolic health problems. Like didn't. didn't I'll admit that. I mean, he he. was a raging alcoholic and he knew it. and I I knew he was really considering. uh making some changes in his life, you. know, that he was talking to me about. and then boom, you know, gone. So,

so in that sense, yes, it was. But it. wasn't in the sense where all these. healthy people who have been tested are. wearing No, no, no. That's that's. ridiculous. Especially the athletes and. the fighters. Like what we would have to. do is if one of the cornermen got COVID, even if the fighter didn't have CO, the. fighter was pulled from the card. So, one of the cornermen tests positive for. CO cuz the fighter had been around him, even if he's negative, we treated it. different than we treated anything ever.

And especially for the fighters, it had. like it was not going to have an effect. on them unless they did. There's one guy. it did have an effect on. Um he got. COVID really, really bad. But it's. because they kept training. These guys. kept training while they had COVID. They. never A lot of these guys, they don't. give a [ __ ] They have the flu. Who. cares? They're showing up at the gym. It's part of being an animal. It's like. you'll show up sick and you'll train. through a But you shouldn't do that. You're just breaking your immune system. down further. And especially if you're.

in camp. So being in camp for a fighter. is very different than regular working. out. Being a camp pro fighter is you are. basically redlinining your body, trying. to get it to recover, like trying to get. it to keep pace so you can get to a. superhuman level that's only. achievable after like a 12week camp and. you can only hold on to it for a couple. weeks. They got to they know when you're. peing sometimes and they'll back a.

fighter off. They'll go, "We're done. today. We're done. We're done today. you're peaking too early. You're peeking. too early. You don't want to overdo it. So, you want to back off your training. when you're feeling absolutely perfect. and get yourself a just slow down. We're. we're we're a little too soon. Like a. really good trainer knows when you're. peing, but you can't maintain it. forever. It's It's really only for. That's why it's so crazy that a lot of. these guys, they'll accept a fight on. like 10 days notice. It's like that's. nuts. That's nuts. Like, you need you.

need to be peing. You need to be like, you're going to fight in a [ __ ] cage. And I know you're doing this as a. financial decision, but that's why Jon. Jones is the smartest. Jon Jones never. did that. They changed opponents. [ __ ]. you. Fights off John. Even guys like. Chale Sen who eventually stomped in the. first round. Like absolutely destroy. It. was a It was not even remotely. competitive. It was an annihilation. It. would have been an annihilation 365 days. a year for decades. It wouldn't have.

mattered how good Jon Jones is and as. great as Chale Sun is. Jon Jones was the. bigger man. Chale had fought at 185. pounds. Jon was a big 205 and he was the. most talented guy that ever fought in. the sport and he's going to win every. time. But when they changed the. opponent, they try to make it Chel Sun. He's like, "Nope. Nope. We we do things. the right way." I go through a full. camp. That's it. Fights off. Everybody's. like, "Ah, cuz they want you to play. ball. Get it. We need a new guy." But. look, to this day, everybody says he's. the goat. Well, why is he the goat?

Because he did everything the right way. He He knew, especially when he wasn't. partying, he did everything the wrong. way, too. He did a lot of partying and. still beat the [ __ ] out of everybody. because he was that good. Because he was. that talented. One of the craziest. things he ever said, Daniel Cormier when. they were having a rematch, they were. talking [ __ ] in the press conference and. Daniel Tormier said something to John. John goes, "I beat you when I was on. Coke.". It is the craziest statement cuz he says. it, you're like, "Oh shit." And it's.

true. It's true. That's how good Jon. was. But if you try to change opponents, John's like, "Uh-uh." Try to call Jon. Jones in for a late notice fight on 5. days notice, he'll tell you, "Go [ __ ]. yourself." Like, "Nope, I'd rather hang. out at home, my dog." Like, he's not. doing it. Like you gota So these guys. when they're. peaking they're vulnerable. They get. sick a lot especially when they're. cutting weight because you're redlining. your body and you could overdo it. And.

guys overdo it all the time. They. overtrain. They just break themselves. down with they just they they haven't. they've kept too much pace and not. enough recovery and they're declining. and declining and decline. They show up. at the gym. They have no energy. They're. like [ __ ] And if you get a guy to the. fight that's overtrained it's horrible. It's horrible to watch. I've seen it. many times. The guys just can't recover. They're too tired. They overdid it. They're too tough for their own good. So. th one of those guys got co this guy. Hamza Chamay. And this [ __ ] is a.

psychopath. He's a savage. Like one of. the most savage guys that's ever fought. in the sport. And he just kept training. Just kept training. This [ __ ]. trains like eight hours a day. He trains. like a wolverine. He's an animal. And he. was training with co and he kept getting. real sick. wound up getting. hospitalized, coughing up blood, gets. out, goes right back to it. Same thing, hospitalized again. He got hospitalized. like twice because he wouldn't stop. training because he's that psychotic. But other than him, regular athletes.

that get it, they just take a few days. off, right? Daniel Cormier had COVID, trained through it, and won the title, won the heavyweight title, training. through COVID in his camp. He was sick during camp and kept. training and everybody was like, "Let's. just keep going." I didn't get off the. couch the whole time I had co. So just. imagine those level of athletes and. we're worried about it so much that. everybody has to wear a mask. Like shut. the [ __ ] up, right? This is nuts. So all.

that had to happen too where we. were the reckless ones. We were the ones. that like I don't I'm not buying this. I'm going to live my life. I'm going to. Texas. And there was a lot of people. that were really mad at that. Like, what. are you doing? You're not scared. What. are you doing? You're doing shows. indoors. You're killing people. Blood is. on your hands. There was a screaming at. you. Frothy mess of people that were. just all caught up in this scop. They.

were just the, you know, and it was. great. Not good really. But it was great. in that it exposed these fragile. thinkers. So many fragile. minds that couldn't couldn't see the. forest for the trees. They just they. couldn't see it. And when we all came. out here and we said, "We see it." Like. this is [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. It's it'll. make you sick. Yeah. You'll have to be. at home for a week. Yeah. Get get.

vitamin D. You'll be all right. like, "Yeah, this is what we're dealing with. for real.". And a lot of people agreed. And then it. turns out we were right. It turns out we. were right. At the end of the day, we. were correct. We were correct to want to. live our lives. We all went back to live. our too soon. Says who? Says who? The. [ __ ] government that's been lying to. you about this disease. Look back on it. and and and realize it that it happened,

you know, that it really [ __ ]. happened. that we were locked up, locked. down. It's not good because it's it's. like when you find out your friend's a. [ __ ] and then you have to count on him. again in the future. You're like, "Dude, don't fall apart on me here, right? Show. up." Like, "Don't get scared. We You. need I need help." Like, you find out. your friend falls apart under pressure. You're like, "Oh, great. Why are you. crying, Mike? What are we doing? Don't. cry. This is crazy." Like now you can't.

count on Mike because Mike falls apart. when chick gets hot and this is how it. feel feels with like a good percentage. of the country. You know it was a joke. from my my last special but it's I. really feel this way. We lost a lot of. people during COVID and most of them are. still. alive that I've wrote that line thinking. about specific friends. It's like what. did you think was going on? What did you. think was going on? Yeah, it's a. disease. But what? Since when have you. changed your entire [ __ ] life for.

years for a disease? This is nuts. Since. when have you listened to the entire. government tell you you can't have. outdoor dining because of a dise like a. disease you've already had? You've. already gotten through it and this. they're still telling you this and we're. we're a year and a half into this. [ __ ] thing. And so we were right. And. so so many people because we were right, so many people also came. And that's the. beautiful thing. It's like people speak. with their actions. And the people that. are willing to make a leap like that,

those are the ones you want there. Those. are the ones like we got the best of the. best. We got the the most [ __ ] you of. the [ __ ] you people cuz comedians are. [ __ ] you people. They are. Something. happens in society like, "Hey man, [ __ ]. you, right?" You know, or eat a steaming. bowl of [ __ ] Eat a steaming bowl of. [ __ ] no matter what it is, you. know. And uh the world needs that. I. need that. I need that. I need you here. I need Tony. I need I need people like. that the same way that you did. The way.

we all sort of collectively manifested. it together. But without you, we. wouldn't be here. Yeah. So you guys come. on down to Austin, Texas, and check out. the mothership and see how much fun. we're having. If you don't believe it, if you think we're making this [ __ ] up. Because of you, I also almost bought the. cult house. Yeah, right. That would have been, you. know, made it happen. I I people say, "Yeah, he did. That would have been. horrible." It wouldn't have been. horrible. No, it would have been amazing. because it was a cool place and I, you. know, I It was uh It would have been.

amazing. Yeah, it would have been. amazing. It would have been amazing. It. It's an amazing spot. And it's hilarious. that a cult used to I I feel terrible. for all the people that were roped into. building it and all the people that guy. butt [ __ ] You were doing that piece. that was so funny and you quit doing it. You didn't do that on your special, did. you? No, that was so funny. Yeah, it's a. true story. Remember I I gave you that. line that it's okay to hypnotize people. and butt [ __ ] them cuz it's that falls. under the category of I talked him into. it. Yeah, it's basically the same thing.

That's not illegal at all. I talked the. guy into letting me [ __ ] him in the ass. It's kind of technically not illegal. with a watch going back and forth in. front of his face. That's not illegal. That's not drug. The guy was a hypnotist. and a gay porn star. Like what a combo, right? And then when they found the gay. porn, like the doc, you watch the. documentary, right? The documentary is. incredible. But. Ron, for the people don't at home, Ron. had performed at this. So you had. performed at that place. I [ __ ] love.

that theater. You should buy that place. And then it was for sale. I was like, "Oh, we're in." Right. And then Adam. Eaggan is one. He goes, "Have you seen. that documentary that's on that call?". I'm like, "Oh no. Oh no. Ron White, what. have you done? What have you done?". I watched the documentary. I don't think. I even realized that at that time that. that's what that building was. I don't. think I knew that it was a cult. Yeah. Building whenever I first took it. Maybe. you seen the videos of the guy dancing. around inside the building. That was. what it was. I've seen that years ago. I.

mean, years and years ago. So, I knew. about that anyway, but I didn't realize. that that was the building. Or maybe. maybe I [ __ ] I don't Those are the same. people wearing masks in their cars. You. know what I'm saying? It's like that's. why you can start a cult. If you just. get everybody who wears a mask in their. car, you could rope those [ __ ]. into doing almost anything. And that's. how cults get started. Yeah. Yeah. No, people are looking looking for. leadership. Well, they're also looking. for community and they're really dumb. Like, think about the positive aspects. of the mothership, right? Like, we're. all having a good time. Well, this is.

what everybody really wants. But what if. the only way you can get that is to. believe Baba Ganesha over there who's. like who changed his name and now he. wears wooden beads and he sits in the. lotus position and everybody's got to. suck his dick. Like I just wanted to do yoga and hang. out with everybody. Why they got to suck. this guy's dick? This but they kept. sucking his dick and you know what? They're sucking his dick somewhere else. now in Hawaii. In Hawaii. Yeah, he's. still getting his dick sucked. Some guys. are just really good at at like getting. their dick sucked. It's like the thing. where you need to be on acid to.

understand the grateful dead. It's like. you need to be the special frame of mind. with a special 9V brain where you can. get talked into a cult like that. But it. happens every day. Every day. Every day. Every day all throughout the country. You know, I was talking to Mark Mark. Andre about this, a venture capitalist. guy, brilliant guy. And he was telling. me that there's a ton of active cults. right now in California. Oh, yeah. That. are functioning. Like, you only hear.

about the ones that wind up getting in. shootouts with the feds. There's a bunch. of them that actually function somehow. or another. They keep it together. You. know, people leave, they tell the horror. stories, and some people join, right? But like Wild Wild Country is a great. example, that Netflix documentary. Yeah. The crazy thing is in the beginning it. looks so fun. Yeah. It looked completely. [ __ ] doable. So doable. You know, our. leader's got really nice [ __ ] cars. Look. How could he be wrong? He can't be.

wrong. He's got 20 Rolls-Royces. There's. so many of them. It's It's like whatever. the way that we evolved in tribal. society to listen to the chief. We all. have this like strange desire to either. be the chief or listen to the chief. Sure. You know, either be the alpha or. listen to the alpha. And someone can. pretend to be the chief. They can. pretend to be the chief with magical. insight. And. you know what the most [ __ ] up thing. about that documentary is, the thing.

that still [ __ ] with my head is that. that guy would do these thing this thing. to these people called the knowing where. he would and they would orgasm. They. would just have like they would they. literally meet God to this day. They all. say that it was real, that that thing. actually did happen. Like the power of. suggestion, the fact that he kept it. from them for so long and then the one. day or this is your coming of age. ceremony where this is a one day you're. going to get the knowing and he would. put his hands on them and they would. really experience something. And they.

said it was like they were they were. experiencing God like they it was the. most bliss they had ever felt in their. life and that they never felt it again. So there the circumstances and the. ritual activated this innate part of our. consciousness that's always there. this. ability to talk to God, the ability to. communicate with God, which is probably. what every religion is trying to do.

It's all like this whisper of the truth. that's out there in the ether, and. everybody knows that it's out there. There's something there. I just have to. figure out how to. And this guy, this. crazy gay porn star, hypnotist, butt. [ __ ] all these dudes still, even this. guy was able to touch these people and. they were able to access that part of. their brain and they were in. They were. in. They were like, "Oh, we're in, man. I'm I'm following this guy everywhere. This guy really is like connected to.

God.". Well, you know, I I think that that. that. prayer, let's start with that. Just with. prayer is a physical thing, not a. spiritual thing. And that's why it works. for anybody. You know, I believe it's a. way to channel energy and you changes. the way you feel, but it doesn't matter. what you're praying to that it's a. physical transference of injury, right? Not not a spiritual thing. I I and and.

because anybody can do it and and also. hypnosis is so powerful when it's done. correctly. And I know that because I've. experienced hypnosis done well. And uh. so boy, if you have both of those. things, you know, you could have power. over anybody that's stupid enough to. [ __ ] lie. Yeah, that's the problem. That was what they did during the Manson. family, MK Ultra during those days. This. is part of uh the chaos book by Tom.

O'Neal. It's about the Manson family, excuse me, the Manson family murders. And one of the things that they went. into is the fact that this guy who. worked for the CIA at the time was a. part of MK Ultra. His name was Jolly. West. And Jolly West is this figure all. throughout the counterculture resistance. movement that the federal government had. sort of concocted. And part of what he. was doing was teaching people how to. manipulate people with LSD. And he was. teaching Charlie Manson in jail. Like.

they this guy visited Manson in jail. Then Manson would get out of jail and. Manson would get in trouble, get. arrested, and then get released. And the. the sheriffs all say, "It's over my pay. grade." They were all told to let him. go. And so he was implicated in murders. and violent crimes and they all always. let him go. They always had to let him. go. And he was getting acid and he had. sophisticated methods of manipulating. minds. It wasn't as simple as like this. is a charismatic dude and they all want. to cut a baby out of [ __ ] Sharon.

Tate's stomach. No, it was way crazier. than that. It was sophisticated mind. control from MK Ultra. And they wanted. to see if they could get people to. become homicidal maniacs. And they were. right. They could. They knew how to do. it. They used it. And they got Manson to. do it. And it threw water on this whole. anti-war hippie movement. All that peace. love. [ __ ] Now hippies are murderers. Now. hippies are Charles Manson. Now you know. your kid wants to just.

like [ __ ] paint flowers and show up. at Grateful Dead shows. No. No. Your. kid's a murderer. Your kid's a [ __ ]. the all the the hippies are suspects. now. It worked. It was a fascinating. thing they did like the the way they. threw water on this movement that was. happening like in 1970 there just threw. it down and put schedule one on. everything. If the Nixon administration.

hadn't done that in 1970, who knows what. the world looks like today? Like who. knows? Who knows if you can get Ibane. and Iawasa in America if psilocybin had. stayed legal. What? It was made illegal. in 1970. All that stuff. Yep. All that stuff. became schedule one in 1970. Marijuana. was always illegal. It was illegal from. like the 1930s and that was because it. was a textile and that was because it. was a commodity. It had almost nothing.

to do with the drug itself. They were. trying to outlaw hemp. They were worried. because they had come out with a new way. to process hemp fiber. It's called the. decordicator. They invented this thing. is big thing Popular Science magazine. hemp the new billiond dollar crop. It. was like they were saying we're all. going to use hemp now because now. there's an effective way to process the. fibers and they're superior to. everything else. Make superior paper, superior cloth, superior everything much. much much better plan and uh William.

Randph Hurst was like [ __ ] that. So. William William Randph Hurst starts. publishing stories in his newspapers. about how blacks and Mexicans are taking. this new drug called marijuana. They. invented the name. It was a wild Mexican. tobacco. That's what marijuana used to. be. It was slang for a wild Mexican. tobacco. So they put that name on. cannabis, something that people had had. forever. People have been smoking it. forever. was literally the the origin of.

the term canvas. comes from cannabis. Yes. Oh, I didn't. know that. It's all hemp. If you go like. the Mona Lisa, those are all painted on. hemp. The first draft of the Declaration. of Independence was written on hemp. Hemp was a far superior paper. It's. really difficult to tear. It's a crazy. fiber. Hey, can we put this on pause for. a second? Huh? You got a piss? Uh, can. we put it on pause for a second? Yeah. Okay. Woo. So, uh, ladies and gentlemen, Ron White had a moment there where he,

uh, the cold came back, the sickness. came back, and you had a. Yeah, that was a moment. That was a. moment. I don't know what that was. Well, I was over here blabbing about the. illegalization of weed and how crazy it. is. And we were talking about Iawaska. and all these things and all of a. sudden, you just got a little pale. Yeah, I got a little pale and started. sweating. I I don't know what it is. I. just got a little sick. I feel a little. better now. I had a nice yak. And.

this is a How long has this sickness. been with you? I felt fine all day. I. felt fine yesterday. I played golf. I. had uh you know that's crazy. So has. this happened before though or it just. comes on out of nowhere? No, this should. be the first time. So maybe it's like a. maybe it's another thing like a food. poisoning thing or something. [ __ ] I. don't know. I don't know what it is. Wow. And you've had a couple IVs, right? I had a two last week. Uh, and I'll go. home and get another one. I'll have And. I'm sure I'll be fine in just a little.

bit. Damn. Sure. I'll be cool. Damn. And you played golf. Yeah. Played. golf with my son. Had a great time. It's a nice day to play golf, too. Absolutely. One of the things that we. have out here in Texas is real weather. I love it when it rains and everything's. so green and pretty. And you need to go. down to Costa Rica. I do need to go down. to Costa Rica. That uh stay in your. neighbor's place. I do need to go. It's.

the sweetest thing. Yeah. That I've ever. seen. Yeah. My big pet peeve is when people. say, "It's the best thing you've ever. seen." I'm like, "This is the best thing. you've ever seen, buddy. I've seen some. shit." You know? Some [ __ ] Exactly. Like, what are you saying? I've seen so. many things. But uh but that place down. there that uh you know it's another. driftwood or like you know kind of like. driftwood but uh. it is [ __ ] gorgeous. I heard that. driftwood place is amazing place out.

here. It's the best man. It's so pretty. right now cuz all the you know they blow. in a bunch of wild flowers all over it. and it's just [ __ ] gorgeous. It's a. great golf course. I almost wish I. played golf. It's a waste of time and money. You. don't have uh you you don't I know you. don't have time. So I Yeah, I would love. it. I'm sure. Uh but so we should. probably wrap this up because you're not. feeling that that good, right? I feel a. little better. Yeah, I'm I'm okay. Keep. rolling a little that a little bit.

Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, it's a it's. just uh when someone gets sick like. that, you don't know what to do. Like. [ __ ] yeah. I don't know what to do, but. I I I swear I feel better. I feel I. don't feel hot anymore. I'm so weird. So weird. Like what is that? I guess I. need you to get something out of my. stomach real quick. I think crazy. The. quickest way to do it. It's just crazy. that something's been like, you know, you have a little invader in your body. Yeah. That you're fighting off. That's. what we're doing all the time. Fighting.

off these invaders. Yeah. I'm still. coming to the club tonight. Of course. I'm gonna I'm gonna get a drip and come. do a set. Of course. This would be fun tonight. Uh, it's Cam Patterson's show tonight. Good. It's an exciting time. Really is. And. the world is so chaotic right now, which. is great for comedy. Whenever the. world's [ __ ] up, comedy is at its. best. Gaza and Palestine and. a [ __ ] Ukraine and the tariffs.

It's great to come out and do do some. comedy. Yeah. I'm You know what? I and I. stay I stay away from all of it. Good. And the and and of that subject matter. any politics or anything like that. And. the reason is. uh you know I know my I know my crowd I. know what they want and and they want to. laugh really hard and they want to and. and I think that I've always taken the. position as I'm just not going to bring. that into it. I'm going to let us do.

something. And I I love it when other. people do that are really good at it. and, you know, that it's fun to watch. and it's entertaining as [ __ ] but I. just decided a long time ago that I'm. just going to I'm just going to go out. there and make them laugh as hard as I. can make them laugh and let them have. some time off from. tragedy or whatever. And and and and I'm. not that good at it anyway. So, you. know, it's that I've never been a. political commentator, right? So, why be. one now? And then and uh well the. problem with politics is you're going to.

alienate 50% of the crowd dead split. Yeah. Dead split. And if you're one of. those people that takes a stand on. stage, you're like, "Okay, great.". Right. Now you're taking a stand. Yeah. Okay. But just just let's let's have. fun. It's silly. Unless what you have to. say is so good that you can make someone. laugh. Oh, if you're good enough. If. you're good enough, right? I, you know, I saw people try to, you know, take on. 9/11 right after 911, but I only saw. like one person that was really, if if.

you're good enough to write about that, then write about it. But if you're not. good enough to write about it, leave it. the [ __ ] alone. Leave it the [ __ ] alone. That's some black belt material. Yeah. You have to skill level whatever, you. know? Yeah. You know, Mity Shore. wouldn't let Brian Holtz been on stage. for two weeks after 911. No, I didn't. know that. She's like, "No way. Keep him off the. stage." Holman couldn't wait. Couldn't. wait to say something [ __ ] completely. outrageous.

Whatever that demon inside of him that. comes out on when he's on stage. Yeah. I. don't understand him, you know? I really. don't. I love him. I love him to death, but he's such an original character and. the most he's from a different time. It's like he was brought here from. another dimension. He's like a different. thing. Even the way he dresses, it's. like he's from the 50s, right? And he's. like my age. Like he's he's not he was. like that when I met him. He was from a. different era when I met him in 94. I.

was like, "Oh, you've known him that. long." Yeah. Like where is this [ __ ]. guy from? Like you're from a different. time. People [ __ ] love him though, man. They [ __ ] He's got a crowd now. Yeah, he does. That's the difference. between the way he was treated at the. store. Unfortunately, he fell into this. and through nobody's fault, but it was. like everybody waited till the end and. Holtzman would go up, but like why have. him on the end, you know? It's like have. him on when the crowd's hot, right? Like. don't put him on at 1 in the morning. Put him on at 10:00, you know? Let's see.

when the crowd is like popping. Like let. him let him cook when the crowd's. popping, you know? And now he sells out. People come to see him, right? And he. headlines. It's like people get excited, you know? know he's a maniac and he's. got a crowd now. He's got like a. legitimate draw. They get it. Yeah. They. get it. Yeah. It's nice. It's fun. And. you know that's also the difference. between a when a comedy club is run by a. comic. You know because Holtzman has. always been a comic for comics. You know.

we all would go to see Holtzman at the. end of the night when he was doing these. insane sets for 15 people in the main. room, right? But now like we're running. the shows. Like give him a [ __ ]. weekend. Let's Let's go. Give him a. Thursday night. Let's go. Let's have. some fun. Especially 10 p.m. shows. He. does a lot of Thursdays. Yeah. Especially 10 p.m. shows. That's the. best time to see him when it's late and. you've had a couple of cocktails, right? You feel a little crazy about the world. Yeah. Let that guy let that guy loose.

You understand it's a joke. Yeah. You. get jokes. You get someone saying. something that he doesn't really mean, right? That's completely ridiculous to. say. Yeah. That's part of the fun. Yeah. Yeah. And then he acts like he means it. and you buy into it. No, it's a joke. still. But every now and then he'll show. you behind the curtain. Yeah. Every now. and then he give you a little peek and. you're like, "Okay." Yeah. This is an. act. He's having fun. He is. He's having. a good time. And he loves Austin, too. I. see him walking around downtown almost. every time I drive through the city.

He's just Yeah, it was a big get getting. him here. It was a big get because we. wanted to bring a lot of the there was. some magic that was trapped in the. talent of the comedy store was magic and. some of it wasn't being utilized. correctly and Holtzman's the best. example of that. But what a fun hang it. was. You know what a fun hang. Yeah, it. was it was great. I had some of my. favorite times in my life in that back. bar. Yeah. Just laughing. Just laughing. We would be back there just laugh. That. was a great thing the Comedy Store did.

when they put together that bar and that. it had Mitsy's actual bar from her house. was the bar there. I didn't know that. Yeah, that bar didn't used to be there. Like so the early days that was like a. storage room and so uh at one point in. time in the store was like really. killing it. They decided like we should. turn this into a bar. And I I don't know. what year was that? I want to feel like. I feel like that was like. 2014ish like which is right when I came. back and the store was killing it and we.

all were like, "Oh yeah, we'll have our. own bar. This is incredible." And you. had to go through the kitchen to get to. it like a scene from Good Fellas, right? And you get back there and you could. only be back there if you were cool. Like you you couldn't buy a ticket. It. was policed, too. Yeah. Yeah. You had to. have a friend. You had to know somebody. to get back there. But we would be. hanging with some of the coolest people. in the world. That was my favorite place. to drink. And then. it was so fun. There'd be musicians back.

there. Smoke pot back there. Everybody. was just chill. And the drinks were. free. It was crazy. It was like, it was. so fun. The store was a magical place, man. A magical place. And there's. something about the fact that, you know, it had this insane history to it that. you felt like, "Wow, I can't believe I'm. even here." Right. Standing on the. stage, same stage as Prior and. Kenisonson. Yeah. And you just you're in. the the belly of the beast on Sunset in.

Hollywood, like right in the middle of. everything, right? in the middle of. everything where everybody I remember. when I was a kid in uh 1988 when I first. started doing standup, they would talk. about the comedy store like it was. Mecca, right? Like you had to make your. pilgrimage to the store and some guys. would say they went there but they. bombed. Oh, I went back there tried to. do do some meetings. I did a set at the. store. I bombed. I [ __ ] that place. Like yeah, my first trip out to LA I you.

know I was trying to get on at the. improv. if I couldn't get on and uh and. I was like, "Ah, man." I went to the. comedy store and I told him my story. It. was Monday night and they they put me up. first, which wasn't a really good spot. and I ate it and uh but they did put me. on stage there. Well, there it is right. there. There about 10 people in there or. whatever. Nobody. But and it was a. horrible experience. But uh but I but I. always look back at it finally, you. know, because they did it, you know.

They said, "Yeah, go get on stage." And. first time I ever came out to the store, I was out in I was out in LA to do some. pilot thing for MTV. And uh I was. staying at a hotel and I I knew where. the store was. I was like, I I got to. get there. I just got to see what it's. like. And they let me in because I was I. said, "Hey, I'm I'm a comedian from New. York. Can I just come in and watch the. show?" And they're like, "Yeah, sure.". They just let me right in. And then I. sat in the back of the room. There was. like 19 people in there and they were. all like the comics that were on stage.

were terrible. They were all like. bodacs. They're like people that sort. and then I realized years later that. what had happened. was a lot of these scenes they go in. these peaks and valleys and I had caught. it when it was at a valley. And before. it was at a peak like the Kenisonson. years it was a giant peak when people. would come to it was the wild place. Kenisonson was there. They all come at. midnight and watch him and celebrities. would be all there. And he had died in.

like 92 I think and I got there in '94. So there's like there was this like. absence. Lull, right? It was a real. lull. There wasn't there's a lot of like. leftovers, people that didn't that were. in the 80s that didn't make it, right? But they were still around. They're. still doing standup and hoping that. something was going to happen, but they. had tired acts. They were just tired. It. hadn't happened for them. They're out. there doing pilot season. They they. didn't want to be at the store because. you're at the store there's no no uh. agents. There's no executive. No one.

comes to see you at the store at that. time. They would go to the improv, go to. the laugh factory. That's where the. industry was. So if you really wanted to. have an actual career, you wouldn't be. doing sets at the store and you had to. do sets in front of Bud Freeman going. language. Watch your language. [ __ ]. Yeah. There's a lot of that back then, right? The TV days, everybody thought. you had to be clean. You know, when I. came back to the store, it was in its. heyday. You know, you were the, you.

know, running the podcast and, you know, [ __ ] place was back to the rafters. and the comics were solid as [ __ ] you. know. Uh, yeah, we had a magical run. Yeah, that Yeah, it was a magical run. And we're having one now. So, it's a. it's it's the same thing. I mean, we're. It's basic but it's our version of it. the new version of it, but it's the same. thing. It's just like it's a beautiful. thing when I mean that term artist is. very pretentious. So, I'll just say. comics. Realize that we're all doing.

this thing together and there's not a. lot of us and it's fun to hang out. together and enjoy each other's company. and and appreciate each other and. appreciate the ride. We're all on this. wild ride together. That's right. And it. is quite a ride. It's a beautiful ride. Quite a ride. Yeah. We're very lucky, Ron White. And I say it all the time, but it's true. You're you're patient. zero. All right, man. I'll take the. title. I'll take the title. You're. really patient zero cuz you just threw. up. Imagine if you have some [ __ ] new. co picked up some new co in Vegas. It.

kills us all. Yeah. Uh I love you to. death, brother. I love you, man. Thanks. for being here. Hey, you got Thanks for. having me on. Goodbye. See you guys. [Music].