Joe Rogan Experience #2300 - Kyle Dunnigan

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe. Rogan Experience. Train by day. Joe. Rogan podcast by night. All day. You know who wrote that? Pop quiz. Who? Very famous person wrote. What is that from? What what show is. that from? 70s. Yeah. begins with an S. D. Stanford and.

son. Yes. Who wrote it? You're not going. to believe it. Quincy Jones. Really? Yes. And it's if you hear the whole. song, it's a really good song. I used to. love that show. Sanford song was [ __ ]. great. Funny. It was funny. Ridiculous. Brett Fox was the man. He was so funny. on that. I actually didn't like that. theme song. Here we go. When I first. heard it. That was back when sitcoms were sitcoms.

Oh, that one was like way I felt like. way like Thre's Company sucks. If you. watch that now, that was like the number. one sitcom. Samson is still good. Yeah. You know what's underrated that I really. never gave a chance. Wait, I want to. guess. Big Bang Theory. Oh, [ __ ] [ __ ]. I [ __ ] it up. Sorry. I was already. said Big Bang Theory. It's a good show. I used to [ __ ] on it cuz I saw clips. with uh you know how you do retakes. where they're not laughs. Yeah. But. that's, you know what that is? That's. like retakes. Um, when you work on a.

sitcom sometimes you have to do pickups. and Yeah. I actually don't know. But. yes. Oh, you do pickups and nobody knows. anymore. Nobody does it anymore. Yeah. Miss Pat is like the only person I know. with a sitcom. Yeah. I couldn't one. sitcom. Think about all the comics we. know. I know one comic with a sitcom, Miss Pat. And it's on a streaming. It's. on um BET. Yeah. And that was. everything. Like when we when I was. first starting like your whole thing was. like you have to get a sitcom or you. don't have any money. Yeah. Well, or you.

were never going to have a career. because you needed there was no way to. get people to come see you in the clubs. unless you had a special or unless you. had a sitcom. Yeah. And I remember Zack. Alifanakis like it was pilot season. Remember that whole thing? That was. huge. Like pilot season's coming up. Oh. yeah. Everybody would be in town for. pilot season. Everybody would be like a. special kind of anxious. Yeah, cuz your whole [ __ ] career was laying. on this moment where you walked into.

this room and there was these weirdos, these casting people. There were always. really socially bizarre people and like. tired and mad. They've seen some people. and it's always a tiny room. And you, they are the kings and you are a peasant. begging for a bowl of soup. Yeah. And. when you walk in, they know they don't. want you. Like they also know you're. broke. Yeah. And you had that that. desperate energy. You want them want. them to like you. Hi. Hi guys. I want. want you to like me. Is what it is.

Death. I didn't get any. I never got a. sitcom. I I auditioned probably for a. thousand. I I don't know why someone. didn't say this isn't you're not good at. this. No one told me. You could have. been on Big Bang Theory. Ironically, I. could have been. You would have been a. [ __ ] major get for that. I would have. been a huge get for that. Show would. have been a lot better. I had um. actually I did get one of them. Now this. is a story. Let me tell you this story, okay? Um, so, uh, I go in and you know, you get like a call back, okay? First. casting director and then you're like, "Please like me." Then you're like, "Call back." And like, "Oh, they like.

me." Second call back. Now I getting. like real nervous. I might get It was a. show Happy Family. Ever hear that little. nugget? Uh, uh, what year are we talking. about? 2003, long time ago. That guy Larette was on. it. Oh yeah. I remember him saying he. was, you know, easedropping on the set. and he goes, "My friend Don told me, um, that on my gravestone it should say, uh, it's not a great plot, but Larett's in. it." He told that funny joke and boy, he.

was, uh, the John Larette show was on. the same lot, uh, as uh, I was when I. was filming News Radio and, uh, Lenny. Clark, who's a good friend of mine. forever, Lenny was on that show and, you. know, I'd run into Lenny in the parking. lot. We talk, but we would watch their. feed where John Larette would like yell. at people. Yeah, that's you. The feed is always. they forget there's a feed. Yeah. People. were screaming about but no one had a. cell phone back then, you know. We're. talking the '9s, so this is probably 94.

or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it was a bizarre scene, man. I. I never adjusted to being on television. Never did. That's a good gig, though. I. mean, [ __ ] That was like Yeah. But I. couldn't wait to not do it anymore once. I did it. Really? Yeah. And I had the. best version of it. I had the best. version of it. Hilarious cast, brilliant. writers. What was that? The stress of. it. It was just like I just wanted to do. standup, you know? You get to cuz you're. getting a little famous and then you. have eight lines. Yeah. And you said.

they could do whatever you want and. you're like blah blah blah. And listen, as far as that was also the problems. I. knew I was never going to get another. sitcom like News Radio. The other. sitcoms that I read for were they were. [ __ ] garbage. After that, did they. want you to do some something after? Yeah, there was a few opportunities. I. had a couple of development deals to do. stuff, but then when Fear Factor came. on, my first thought was like, "Yes, no. actors." Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't have. to deal with like the whole thing, like.

the whole thing of the sch smoozing and. the, you know, going to these award. things and these parties and these press. junkets that you had to do. It's like I. didn't like it. Yeah. It just felt I. don't know. It was just weird, you know. I never auditioned for anything like uh. I auditioned for a couple commercials in. New York. It I auditioned for two shows. ever. Hard Bring it back to my Larette. story. Don't go to your No, no. I want. to hear this. I'm just I want to say out. loud because I I set up a story and then.

I didn't finish it. So, I got this show. when I was living in New York. It was. called Hardball and I came out here to. LA. Oh, wait a minute. Yeah. It was a. baseball show. I I remember Jim Brewer. was in the pilot with me. I I Mike Star. from Good Fellas was in it. I don't know. that guy. Uh Bruce Greenwood, who was in. Star Trek. He's been in everything. He's. a great actor. He was in it. He was like. the older pitcher that was like my. nemesis. Terrible show. Terrible show. Like so bad. I think I saw like a like.

so bad the intro of it or something. I. remember Hard Ball. Yeah. It lasted six. episodes. And then the other show that I. got was News Radio and it was the only. only other show I auditioned for. It was. just to so I'm so everything else I. auditioned for was like movies and stuff. that I never got. And there was a couple. of shows after news radio was over that. I auditioned for that I didn't get. But. it was just like the it it was so. bizarre. So when I would go to these. auditions for other things, it wasn't. that big a deal because I was already. already on news radio. So it wasn't like.

if I didn't get these things, it was. like this will be okay. But it was like. still the anxiety of that like I had. money and it was still like oh this is. awful. Like this whole thing is so. stressful and so weird and everybody's. so [ __ ] up because you got a bunch of. people that desperately want attention. and then you go there to this place. where you're surrounded by people who. are desperately want attention in in. Hollywood and then you're you have this. one moment in front of these people and. they're looking at you like this. Okay, Kyle. Um hi. So you're reading for.

Bobby, correct? I love the script. So. funny. You know, Bobby's an athlete. Did. they No, I can do all the thing. Whatever you say, I can do it. I'm not. good at it. Right. Okay. Um Tim here is. going to read with you and Tim like can. barely read. It's always like some PA. [ __ ] probably on ketamine. Can barely. read and you have to like pretend like. you're having this emotive moment with. Tim. I'm so glad I don't have to do. that. It was the worst. But some people. love it. Some people look man, we're. comics. Some people are actors. They.

[ __ ] love it. like McConnA, that. [ __ ] dude loves like pouring himself. into a role, get getting psychotic about. who the character is. That's I wish I if. I could go back, I wish I looked at. those as like someone said this as like. an opportunity to perform instead of. like I'm trying to get something. I. didn't I was just desperate like I had. no money and I was like I have to get. this. I will say though, if you're on a. sitcom that has really good writing, it's fun as [ __ ] News Radio was fun. How you said you just got it. How did. you just just I had a development deal. with NBC and they were going to do I was.

going to do my own show, but they had a. a sitcom that they were already green. lit and uh Ray Romano was on it and Ry. was like the maintenance guy and Ray got. fired during the pilot which is like the. best thing that ever happened to him. He. goes on to do the Ray Everybody loves. Raymond and it's [ __ ] huge bigger. than News Radio ever was. So like he he. gets fired and another guy got hired and. then he got fired. So, I didn't feel bad. cuz I'm friends with Ray. I love Ray. There's I bet you that part just was not.

good. It wasn't the actor's fault cuz. you audition and then I don't know what. it was. It's like you never know what. they want. Like when Paul, the guy who. created it, Paul Sims, is this brilliant. guy who worked on um. [ __ ]. Larry HBO. Um Larry Sanders. Larry. Sanders. Thank you. He worked on Larry. Sanders. He was a brilliant, brilliant. guy. And he did a very clever thing like. in the um the auditions. Yeah. The first. audition I read for it wasn't funny.

Like on purpose. They wanted to cut out. all the people who were hamming it up, right? I was like, "Oh my god, this. writing is nothing." So I'm like, I. don't know what this is. So like, you. know, they NBC asked me to go in and. read for it. I I memorized the stuff and. I was like, I don't even know what I'm. saying. This doesn't make any sense. So. I go in and I do it. It's like real flat. and I say, "Thank you." And all a sudden. I have a call back and then they send me. the callback sheets and it's hilarious. and I was like, "Oh, whoa." They wanted. to see if you could turn something. because that was a thing that everybody. hated was the hammy hammy sitcom actor.

Come on, Bobby. What are you doing? You're you're good at that. That's. really good. I've seen a lot of those. guys. So, they wanted to avoid that. And. so, then, you know, they they had a call. back and it was just like me and two. other guys. And these two other guys. look like they just got back from. Vietnam. They were sweating. They were. [ __ ] pale in the face. That makes you. confident, right? When you see someone. nervous, you're like, "Okay." Super. confident. I looked at these guys like, "Oh, they can't handle pressure." And I. and I sat back in the couch and put my. feet up on the coffee table like a.

[ __ ] Yeah. You did. Yeah. Well, I. was waiting. We were in the waiting. room. I was looking I was looking at. these guys panicking and I was like, "Oh, this is just us." Yeah. Yeah. I got. this. I had I auditioned for like a a. sketch show. One of the rare things I. got and the guy I was so out of my mind. nervous and I could hear in the door. this guy not doing good panicking and I. just got calm and I was like I got nice. so the show got cancelled. Well they all. get cancelled. Yeah 90% of them don't.

maybe even more right. Don't do most of. them never make it to a second season. and definitely most of them never make. it to syndication. They you know they go. a few episodes and then they get canned. I was on Go ahead. No, I'm just saying. if the production company's not making. money, the network's not making money. It's not getting ratings. I was in a. situation. It was um Cedric the. Entertainer Presents. It was a sketch. show and it was like I was I remember. that. Yeah. I I joined mid-season. They. What year is this? 20 2003 and I uh big. year for me. Um so I uh I get there.

mid-season. They're like, "We need a. white guy to like pick on." I was a. token white guy and um Louis TK was a. writer. It was like a great freaking. show. And this he got into like a fight. with the [ __ ] Here's where I knew. things were downhill. Now, I didn't sell. my car. I had a really and I'd pull up. to like the good spots and it was like. Lamborghini, you know, go down and then. and it wasn't just a shitty car from. like the early 80s. It was like be I got. like four accidents. It was just a chunk.

and I just was like in a so broke in a. tiny apartment. I'm like, let me just. see if I can But it seemed like this was. a hit show. It was doing well. Okay. So, it's like first thing, first sign it was. like, "Hey, there's a Fox party. tomorrow." And I was like, "Oh, cool. I. made it in Hollywood." So, I go to this. thing and I'm like, "Where's Cedric?". And they're like, "Oh, he got into a big. fight with the head of Fox. He told him. he was he was a douchebag." Some some. fight. And I'm like, "That doesn't sound. like a good idea.

to get." So, I'm like, "It'll be fine.". So then this is we were about to go on. right after American Idol which was like. the biggest show in the world. So we're. like get ready for the rocket ship and. then this guy put Wanda Psych show took. Cedric off the air for like six weeks to. put Wanda Psych not didn't off the air. but like yeah took moved the spot. So. Wanda's show was after and then Wanda's. got amazing um you know views. So it it.

gave them excuse to cancel Cedric even. though Cedric was a hit. was like a f. you. Cedric seems like a nice guy. Yeah, he was very cool, nice to me. So, how. what happened? He did get on the phone. during my audition though at one point. I was in the middle of auditioning. He. was like, "Yeah." And it was kind of a casual. call. It was clearly like not a. emergency, but I just like power. through. But he was very cool. Good guy. But there's a different like culture of. stardom versus people that want to be on.

a show. Like you you're not the equal. What do you mean? Like if you're. auditioning for a show and the the guy. who has the show is in the room, there's. this weird, you know, what is that. number one on the call sheet? There's a. documentary about uh black actors. And. it's not not black actors, it's just. actors period in general. Like I. experienced that a lot in the news radio. days with guys who were big movie stars. and they would like big time you in the. weirdest way. like you couldn't just say.

hi to them, you couldn't hang out with. them. There's a few guys that just like. they were just really gross. And then. there was guys like John Ritter who was. like the [ __ ] nicest guy in the world. to everybody. Nicest guy in the world. Stories about John. Nicest guy in the. world. Camera people joking around with. the makeup lady. Fun. Heart attack, right? Died. Young man. [ __ ] young. Before the vaccine. Young. No, he took. that. He was the first guy. He was such. a sweetheart on the set. such a nice. guy. I had um that that Cedric show was.

also I had like an episode where was. like my episode, you know, where it was. like I had like three sketches I wrote. that was going to be, you know, it was. my big coming out and I literally came. out right now. I was like, "What's going. on you guys?" And shock and started. Remember when I the Iraq war and it just. was gone and I told everybody like it's. my big show and it just that happened. and then the one and it just was over. and I was back to I never sold my car. cars back to my studio apartment.

Couldn't you think that studio. executives would be wise enough to go, "Look, we got Louis CK. We have Cedric. the Entertainer. We have a [ __ ] show. Let's figure out a way to promote this. correctly." And it was funny. It was. just And it's so hard to make a funny. sketch show. They try to plop people. together and you need, you know, real. synergy with the cast and the writers. have to figure out how people are funny. It takes like That's why the first Yeah. The first set of SNL uh cast, they. already worked together and like that's. why they were like jelled right away. I. mean, one of the reasons, but all these. sketch shows they put together and.

they'll say, "Don't pitch a sketch show. They never work." It's cuz they like. pluck people who don't even do sketch, you know? It's like putting together a. boy band. Exactly. Yeah. You know, like. you have to put together a fake band. You not a bunch of guys who grew up. together in Seattle, been playing in the. basement. No, that works better though. Find some Yeah, that works better. You. put them just put a bunch of hot dudes. together. Get hot guys. Let them milly. vanilia it up. Yeah. Remember those. days? No way. Milly vanilla. They got a. bad deal. Change topics, but they got a. bad rap. Like now they'd be fine. They'd.

be fine. No one cares if that's your. voice. You're hot. I love your. dreadlocks. Great. Great. Great bodies. Great bodies. Great [ __ ] Girl, I know. it's true. Who? Yeah, that's a I do like. their music. I love you. No, you don't. I do. I like They got you all the time. Remember there was the other one? Um. there was a a. song God. Um, it was like a a big- time. band and there was like this beautiful. woman who was singing and it turned out. it wasn't really her singing. There was.

some some big heavy lady who was. actually singing. Oh, it's always Yeah, it's always like a big fat guy. It was. It was one of those [ __ ] something. factory. What was the band? Music. factory. Yes. They didn't say there was. a situation like that, right? Wasn't. there where some lady Jamie will find. it? There was Jamie finds everything. He. knows everything. Jamie hates me. No, he. doesn't. He loves me. I heard we talked. about you earlier today. He was saying. nice things. I was bipolar. I know he's.

got hit by a golf ball. Yeah, I saw his. so cool. I want that. I was watching. him. He's got that really cool golf set. back there. I want to get one. Jamie. Jamie can golf his ass off. I have a. buddy who got hit in the head with a. golf ball. He said he was [ __ ] up for. six months. Oh, really? I got hit in the. head with a line drive. Just dunk. I hit. a kid with a golf ball. He was all. right, though. Luckily, I I didn't get a. good swing on it. I see those guys that. like do those power swings. Yeah. On on. the internet, like where they loop their.

arm around and [ __ ] drive through and. like just imagine you getting hit with. one of those balls. Yeah. It's like. getting hit with like a [ __ ] like a. shotgun shooting a rubber bullet at you. Yeah. Yeah. They're really um Yeah. If. you get a nice skull worm burner, you. could you could kill a duck if you just. see those videos of people's head just. snapping. No, but you ever see that one. where the pitcher catches the bird in. mid-flight? Yes. Amazing. Crazy. It's. like, what are the odds that it would. perfectly be there when it's a 100 mph.

pitch? Who was that? Was that Randy? Yeah. Randy, what's his last name? Randy. Johnson. Randy Johnson. He was all He. was like halfway to the thing. You're. talking Martha Wash. Most famous unknown. singer of the 90s speaks. How a voice. behind It's raining men going to make. you sweat and strike it up. went from. being a bullied victim to an industry. pioneer. So, what song was it? The CNC. Music Factory song. Uh, Gonna Make You. Sweat CNC Music Factory. She's cute. Why. didn't they give her a shot? I don't. even know what CNC Music Factory looks.

like. Were they good-looking? They. probably were. Well, that was the move. back then. You get good-looking people. They dance around. Now, you just get AI. to do it. Well, this was the first time. where they were experimenting really. with images in a way where you're you're. everything's visual. It's all video, you. know, like MTV was so important. It was. so important. I like the ugly years of. of musicians. Going to make you sweat. the same song as everybody dancing. Oh, it goes. So, some other lady in the.

video was singing it, but that lady was. the real voice behind it. But she just. didn't look like they wanted her to. look. Uncredited vocals on the chorus, which is just so crazy. Like, do you. don't think like look what's happened. with like Lizo. Do you think you don't. think that would have happened in 1994? Of course it would have if you just. tried it. Everybody that reminds me of. college. I went to school for acting. which is the dumbest thing you can ever. go to school for. What did you learn? Nothing. Honestly, I learned to be the. worst actor. I I really do believe that. Yeah, it was like Shakespeare and stuff.

Like I'm terrible at that. All my. teachers thought I was just terrible. And in this one class, athletes have to. be very careful about how they treat. their bodies. Something everyone wants. to do actually, right? So, it's no. surprise that they're very particularly. about what they eat and drink. It's no. surprise that a lot of proathletes rely. on AG1 to help them stay at peak. performance, just like me. AG1 is more. than a drink. It combines a. multivitamin, multi-mineral blend of. superfoods and more into one simple.

scoop. And it's NSF certified for sport, which if you don't know what that is, it. basically means been put through tons of. testing for over 280 banned substances. And trust me, you don't want any of that. stuff in your body. And it really is as. simple as one scoop once a day. I have. it in the morning. It gives me. confidence. I need to take on the day. Try AG1 for yourself. It's something. that I've actually been consistent with, and that's why I partnered with AG1 for. so long. Try AG1 and get a free welcome.

kit, a free bottle of vitamin D3, K2, and five free AG1 travel packs with your. first subscription at. drinkag1.com/joen. That's a $76 value. gift for free if you go to. drinkag1.com/jo. Check it out. Literally. like this. It was called Movement for. the Actor. Now imagine like your parents. My parents paid for college, which is so. nice of them. I don't have any debt, but. like what a waste of my parents' money. It was this is an hour class movement.

for the actors. So they put on music. like everybody dance was one of the. things and then you're supposed to just. creatively like do whatever. So these. macho. weirdos like. $50,000. So I'm in the and I'm in my. head like what the [ __ ] is this? Doesn't. make me a bad So you're fake. And and. then um this teacher was uh like we're. doing Shakespeare. He's like bring in. tights next week for the Shakespeare. your performance. And I'm like I'm not.

buying tights and coming in here with. tights. Like why would I have to do. that? Cuz back then they they dress in. their normal clothes. You know what I. mean? When Shakespeare wrote the thing, they were just in their clothes. It. wasn't like you had to be in tights to. do Hamlet. So I just didn't get tights. And I come he's like, "Where's your. tights?" He was like this like very. affeminite guy who hated me. And. uh he goes he goes, "Where are your. tights, Kyle?" And I was like, "Oh, I. forgot my tights." He's like, "Make sure. you bring your tights next week." And I. was like, "Okay, so next week, no.

tights." And I go, "Oh, I forgot my. tights.". Like, "Darn it. I wish I brought my. tight." Oh, yeah. I was like, "Ah, probably your best acting." Brought my. tights. Yeah. I was really good at. acting like I didn't like I wanted to. bring my tights. So he goes, "Get mine. They're in They're in the back." You. know, there was like So I these green. tights. Oh, that had been hugging his. balls. I was Yeah, I had to like put. them on and I was I look like Kermit the. Frog cuz my legs are like the size of a. 12-year-old Korean girl. And I came out. with my It was disgusting. Kermit the. Frog. Yeah, I look like Kermit. Yeah, by.

the And I did tell him, I said, "Listen, cuz I tried to negotiate before I put. his tights on." I'm like, "But they. didn't. They just wore their clothes. like back then." And he was like, "Get. the tights. Like, I want to see you in. tights." Brian Ken was always going to. acting schools and he knew they were. ridiculous, but I don't I think like. Brian at one point in time was like like. completely enamored with the idea with. being in in Hollywood. Like he had a. bunch of like famous actor friends and. he'd go to famous actor parties and he'd.

take acting classes. He's always working. on his craft. I love that. Working on my. craft, by the way. But he was. bullshitt but he was aware. He was. [ __ ] around. Like when he would say. working on my craft, he wasn't being. serious. He was completely joking. He's. very So he had this teacher that was I. think it was a Scientology hustle too. It was one of those things. So there was. a lot of that particularly in the '90s. Oh yeah. Where the teachers were. Scientologists. Insert by the way not to pick on. Scientology. Insert whatever religion. There's a there was a lot of Scientology.

that was in Hollywood though. But what. they would do is they would get people. to join the acting class and they would. try to recruit them into Scientology. because the teacher was a Scientologist. how important it was. You never could be. in Scientology. Yeah. Yeah. How. important it was for his craft or. Meanwhile, they're never successful. The. people that teaching the acting classes, they're always terrible. Yeah. They they. never go anywhere. Like maybe they have. like a small part on one thing and then. they're going to tell you how to make. it. You never even apply it to your own. life. When I was a teacher, I didn't. think I'd ever be Yeah. Not to say.

there's not good acting teachers out. there. I'm sure there are. There's. people that just like love theater. They. love like that kind of act. They have no. desire to be famous. They love the. craft. if they love the art of it. That's that's true too, right? Um but. anyway, this guy, he was really into. show tunes and uh he would do a big show. uh at, you know, the end of the class or. whatever, the end of the quarter, whatever it was. He had this big show at. this local theater and Brian's like, "You have to come and watch a guy with. the tiniest feet you've ever seen in. your life. He had these little I. couldn't take my eyes off his feet.

because he had loafers on and they were. like that big." And this guy would sing. like so passionately these show tunes. from like musicals like there's no. context. You don't you didn't see the. musical a like a medley like a medley of. I love that. Sounds like a great show. Wait, you came there for his sho for his. to see his feet. That was like the why. you No, Brian. But Brian was like. fascinated by how small his feet were. and then I couldn't stop cuz we were. high so I couldn't stop looking that. small. That No, they were tiny. They. were like that seems like that's like.

they were little little tiny feet. I had. a date to this girl once and she was. like, "I have a shoe show. I'm a shoe. model, right?" And I'm like, "Oh, a shoe. show." Okay. A shoe model. Yeah. Foot a. foot model. Like she would model shoes. Okay. Like open toed shoes. I just what? Like I didn't know. But that's what she. would say. She was going to do this. And. she always had like dollar bills. She. always had cash, you know. And I found. out years later she was a stripper. Shoe. show is when you have no clothes on. And. I just thought she was a shoe. Oh, by. the way, here's another I thought it was.

going another direction. I thought you. guys are paying to jerk off to her feet. Maybe she had great feet, but I another. stupid This was even the dumber class in. the moving around class was called. interpretation for the actor. So this you would read a a play like um. Street Car Named Desire and then you'd. come in and you do your interpretation. of it. So the weirder you were, the. better your grade you got. Okay. So, one. guy comes and he did street car and uh. he put there was a big mirror, you know,

cuz also a dance room and he took a. lipstick and he wrote [ __ ] within. lipstick. This is if you know what. street car name. Yeah. Then he pulled. his pants down, started [ __ ] the. mirror and then he turned to us and he. goes, "Fuck you." And he left and then. everyone started clapping and I was. like, "I got to get the [ __ ] out of. here.". Ah, listen to what I So, I'm like, cuz I. got like a like a D on my whatever I. did. So, I'm like, I'm going to be. [ __ ] weird my next I didn't read any.

of the things. I like I have trouble. reading. I don't know how to read. I. just never learned. So, I go uh I go I glass managerie is my. book. Didn't read it. Whatever. I just. went in there. I got an egg. Okay. And I. had a I took one of my mother's. Waterford crystal glasses and a string. and I took the string and I was just. like, "Nobody sails the seas if they. don't find their way." And then I.

clipped the string and the glass fell. and broke. Then I went outside, you. could see, and I buried an egg. It makes. no [ __ ] sense. And then the guy said, "What grade do you think you should. get?" And I said, "An A." And he gave me. an A. That was that was my college work. He's brilliant. By the way, I'm working. on my craft. By the way, are you really. working like when you work Merryill. Streep was an amazing actress when she. was 20 and she's amazing now. She never. No. Are you working four hours a day.

getting better at acting? No, you're. not. There's you're not training. There's a little bit you can kind of. learn, but there you're done after a. little bit. If you're not Daniel D. Lewis already, [ __ ] love that guy. Yeah. If you're not that guy already, you're probably never going to be able. to do that. Yeah. They they talk like. they're like working their piano skills. all day in 4 days. Like your crap. You. know, we the problem what we did was is. we were like we not not me at all. But. when they were like, "Oh, let's make. some more money. We'll have an award. show and then we'll make money." That's. why there's the Oscars is they're Oh,

yeah. famous. But the actors thought. we're doing something really great. The. Oscars are like the Olympics for actors. Yeah. Yeah. And it's I mean Olympics at. least you're like I don't know doing. something you can quantify but like a. 9year-old a nine-year-old won an Oscar. like how like not be like a. nine-year-old like best surgeon. It's. like it's a thing you can do or kind of. can't do. There's a little bit of. learning but certainly not movement for. the actor or it's not brain surgery. No,

it's not working on your craft. It's not. even like it's not painting. It's not. even like when you crunch a ball and you. throw it into a basket like at work. It's the skill is like Well, it's one of. the few It's one of the few careers. where it's a benefit to be out of your. [ __ ] mind. Yeah. It's about personal. Like I love We We love the person like. Jeff Goldblum. Like love that guy. Christopher Walker. Amazing. Like. there's amazing actors. Like the people. who party. Yeah. Crazy wild people. You. know the story behind it to be. Yeah. I.

miss Jack Nicholson. Oh yeah. He was the. best. Old Jack. He was the just He was. the best. Did you ever see him flirt. with Jennifer Lawrence? Ever see that. video? No. How old was he at the time? A. thousand. He was. 10,00. Wait, Jamie, do you have that? I. don't mean to run this show, but it's a. it's a it's a good schooling on like. he's so cool and this girl's way too. young for him, but um. no politics.

If you want to talk politics, we can. Such a beautiful job. Yeah, you're being really. rude. It's good to see you. I know. I love Oh my god. Thank you. I. loved all your movies. Oh, really? Do I. look like a new girlfriend? I thought about it. I thought about it. Do you think that so it became. flirtatious but it was mostly just.

complimentary about her movie? What. movie was that? He stayed cool and he's. just he makes that eye contact and then. it's like you need crazy people to make. flirting actually. She flirted with him. Yeah, you need crazy people to make good. movies. You need it. You you need a guy. who's going to pretend he's Lincoln for. four months. There will be blood. I just saw the. other. Oh my god. Phenomenal. What's. that? Silver Linings Playbook. What was. it? Silver Linings Playbook. I think her. and Bradley Cooper read. I didn't see. that one. I drink your milkshake. Oh my.

god, it was so good. He was so good. He. was such a great psychopath. It's like. the If I read that movie, I think I'd be. like, "This is boring. There Will Be. Blood is just right. I'll drink your. milkshake." What? At the end, he's. talking to that guy who's religious who. was like, "Can I have some of your I've". and he's like, "No, there's no more oil. under you." He's like, "I drank it up. I. and he just made the analogy of a straw. like drank up his thing and then he. beats him with a. milkshake. Bowling pin. He's like I'm.

finished. One of the best endings to a. movie. Yeah, it was a [ __ ] up movie. It was that. So that's a different. thing. You know that kind of acting on. me to take it out of the. ground. Listen. listen. I paid him $10,000 cash in hand. Just like that. He has his own company. now. A prosperous little business. Three. wells producing $5,000 a week. Why is this dude crying already? Stop.

crying. You he needs money. He got. broke. You're nonsense. And he's coming. back to like beg him. You're just after. birth. Eli, no. Slithered out on your. mother's filth. No. They should have put. you in a glass jar on a mantelpiece. Where were you when Paul was suckling at. his mother's teeth? Where were you? Who. was nursing you, poor Eli? One of band. is s that land has been had. Nothing you.

can do about is gone. Had if you would. just take this le Daniel. Drain. it. Drain it. Gili, you. boy. Drain dry. I'm so sorry. Cut to the. bar. He kills him. If you have a. milkshake. Is it in there? I have a milkshake. No, they cut it out. I have a straw. There. it is. That's the straw. You see? Watching. My straw.

reaches. across the. room and starts to drink your. milkshake. I drink your milkshake. I drink it up. Don't bully me, Daniel. So good. Choices they say in school. It's the. choices you make in your performance.

Yeah. It's also you got to be out of. your [ __ ] mind. You got to be able to. become that guy. I know. But and most. people can't do that. Most people can't. lie that good. Yeah. He I mean he. becomes those people where But to live. with that guy would be probably a. nightmare during that movie. Oh. would. be a nightmare. Yeah. Imagine that guy's. your roommate. Who ate my cheese? My Cheerios. I all. day long. He's a murderous psychopath. And what if he slips into character too. much? What if he lights your house on fire. just to stay in character? At least he.

does back it up. Do you mean like he. hasn't done anything too crazy? Well, there's a lot of people that do that. Like they they they play a brawler and. they start fights with people on the. streets, you know? Like people get crazy. with with film roles. with who they. become. Yeah. Who was that guy? Um, but. that's how you got a great movie. That. guy. Christian Bill. Jared Leto was. sending people stuff, I think, as the. Joker. Jared Leto was doing weird [ __ ]. when he was the Joker. I don't like I. don't like when they go too far with it. Like have been rumors, too. But um Yeah, the Batman guy. Remember that whole. thing where he was uh screaming at the.

guy for getting in in the way of his. lighting or something? Remember? No, there was a guy was moving around in the. background was distracting and he's. like, "Aren't you a [ __ ]. professional?" Remember that? Yeah. Because he was in like some heavy scene. Yeah, but that does happen, man, where. people don't pay attention and they're. on their phone or they're [ __ ] off in. the background and you know some they're. right in the ey line. The thing I found. interesting about that was his accent. didn't cuz he's he kept an American. accent when he was screaming. So. interesting. I found that um quite.

interesting. Yes, indeed. Yes, that. guy's another [ __ ] amazing actor. Another amazing actor. Was that psycho. movie? American Psycho. So good. Insane. But the craziest thing he ever did was. when he almost died making that. machinist movie. Got down to like 120. lbs. He played a guy. He played a guy. with narco. It's a terrible movie. Not. terrible. It's not It's not very good. But I mean to to have a guy who's like a. leading man and almost die for a movie. that no one saw. Ask yourself this, who.

has access to your medical history? In. theory, it's just you and your doctor. But in reality, hundreds of shady. companies called data brokers are. keeping tabs on every symptom you. Google, every treatment you research, and every pre-existing condition they. think you might have. That's valuable. intel for advertisers and insurance. companies who will take any excuse to. raise your premiums. But there's a way. to get your privacy back, and that is. with ExpressVPN.

With. ExpressVPN, 100% of your online activity. is rerouted through secure encrypted. servers. This makes it impossible for. third parties to invade your privacy. ExpressVPN also hides your IP address, which is the number used to identify you. on the internet. Without your IP. address, data brokers can't use it to. track and sell your activity. Plus, ExpressVPN is easy to use. It just takes. one click and it works on all your. devices, phones, tablets, desktops, even.

TVs and on up to eight devices at the. same time. This is why ExpressVPN is the. number one rated VPN by the experts at. CNET and The Verge. And the best part, podcast listeners can get four extra. months of ExpressVPN for free at. expressvpn.com/rogan or by tapping the. banner. And if you're watching on. YouTube, you can get your four free. months by scanning the QR code on screen.

or by clicking the link in the. description. I almost I almost got I got. a movie was like the only it was right. in between it was walking Phoenix's. movie. It was so bad. Only movie I like. ever got and it was between the Joker. and the next. It was like set up to be. this big movie. It was Gus Vanzant movie. and I to get the I was a doctor. I had. to say all these like crazy things. technical about the spine and the and I. knew if I could just get through this. audition and just say this, I'll get. this part. I'll be in the top 10% cuz.

everyone's going to [ __ ] up this and be. staring at a piece of paper, right? So, I did the whole script. I had like when. I tap here, say this. I had a whole. thing that made me memorize it and I. went and uh I went and I got it. I go to. do the thing. No one talks to me. The. the guy who the wardrobe guy goes, "What. outfit you want?" He showed me a couple. I was like this one. I'm choosing the. outfit of this doctor. I was like, "Okay." And then never saw Gus Vanzant. And then I get there and they go just.

when they say action, go in there and. then do your scene. There was no. blocking or anything. And I'm like, "Okay." And I've never done a movie. before. And I'm like, "This is how I. don't think this is how you do it." So. they're like, they go, "Go." So I go in. there and I'm like. seem doing this whole thing. And uh Gus. Vanzant comes up after me. He goes, "Um, have we met before?" I auditioned like. three times for him and I got the part. and I'm like, "Yeah." And he goes, "You're talking.

over." And I go, "Oh, don't don't talk. over." I couldn't hear Walken Phoenix at. all because he was just like doing his. lines like that, you know? And I. wouldn't think as the doctor talking to. like assistants that I would stop. talking in the middle of my sentences. while he's talking because he was. talking to himself. But it was the. weirdest thing. Terrible. He was was he. playing an insane person? He was. [ __ ] He was Is that PC? Is we say. that? He couldn't move his legs. He was.

the guy He was a cartoonist. I'm. blanking on the name of the movie, but. um he was a cartoonist and it was this. like biopic and. um I uh was it was a very weird. experience, but the movie Anyway, my. point is is terrible. It's terrible. movie, but you thought it was going to. be a banger. Thought this was your show. No, cuz at this point in my career, like. the shock and all like this these things. happen to me over and over again where. I'm just like kind of laugh at it and. it's like uh okay. I remember I was I. was uh Yeah, there's been a bunch of.

situations where like get ready for the. rocket ship, Kyle, because things are. about to take off and I'm always like, "Okay, yeah, the old rocket ship." Isn't that. funny? Like everybody wants to It's just. the weird anxiety of not knowing if it's. going to work out for you. Such a. terrible place to be. Like that's where. the real making it is. The real making. it is just not worrying about that. anymore. The real making it is just. like, "Ah, I can make a living." That's. the real thing. That's a That's a big. hump. Yeah, that's the hump. That's the.

hump. Like whenever I tell like young. comics that are just starting to like. headline now and you know they've got. some like viral clips. I'm like dude. listen to me. You have already made it. Like you're a professional now. This is. the hump. Everything now is just stick. to the grind. Stick to the it's gravy. from here on out. Like you should be so. happy. You're talented and you're. successful. It's actually happening. People are paying to come see you. I'm. like you got this. like from here. because everyone's like, "Man, what if. they stop coming? What if they like. don't.

don't give into you should have fun. Have fun." They want you to have fun. Come on. Your job is have fun. Your job. is to have fun. I wish they told someone. told me cuz I really did not get this. advice for a long long time. Dude, somebody some people that are super. successful still don't do that. There's. guys out there that are super successful. that are paying attention to the ticket. sales of other super successful guys and. comparing themselves today. I'm talking. about like arena acts that do that. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. People get kooky. They.

get kooky with like numbers and their. position in the ladder and am I making. it? Is it happening? What does their. name rhyme with? I'm not telling you. Jamie knows. I could tell by the I like. them, too. I I like a lot of people that. think ridiculous things, but it's just. it's a trap that you know those the. struggle that led you to become. successful at something in the first. place that becomes like your mentality. once you're in a different stage of it. and you have to adjust. It's hard to. change. You got to be able to adjust. It's almost like changing your.

personality to to change that habit. I. mean, it's really difficult. Well, everybody adjusts a little bit, right? Because you first get into it because. you want attention. Like, you first get. into it because you think maybe I could. be a comedian. That'd be cool. I'd be on. stage. I get attention. And then. after that, you don't need that. That's. not what you really want anymore. Like. then it becomes like I just want it to. get better. I just I'm working on this. thing. I just want it to work. I want it. to pop on stage. I want to figure out. the right beats. I want to figure out. the right way to say it. Then it becomes.

that. And once it becomes that, that's. the happy spot. That's where you're. happy. When you just create stuff, you. just you're like together. I wish. someone told me that cuz I had a viral. some viral YouTube videos like way back. and I did I was still on like sitcom I. kind of get a sitcom mentality where if. someone was just like dude focus on your. YouTube and get your audience go. directly to your audience. Yeah. But. back then no one knew no one had any. idea. Like just think about this podcast.

was started in 2009 and in 2009. everybody thought it was a pathetic. waste of time. like friends would come. over to do my podcast and be like, "What. are you doing?" Like, "Why are you doing. this?" It's like, "It's such a waste of. time. You're on a [ __ ] webcam." But. it's nobody saw that comment. So, I. would have never given you that advice. back then. Just You did it cuz it was. enjoyable. You weren't like thinking. like this is the way. I always wanted a. radio show, but no one would ever give. me a radio show, you know? So, I would. when I would do radio shows, like if I. would do sit in on Opie and Anthony, I'd.

be like, "This is so fun. I'd love to do. something like this, but no one's going. to give me one of these [ __ ] things.". That's that's how I thought about it. And so doing when I saw Anthony Kumia. started doing this thing live from the. compound. He would do it in his basement. where he break play karaoke with a. machine gun. He's out of his mind. He's. drunk. He's got t like full beer kegs on. tap there. He's they're drinking. Guinness and he's [ __ ] doing karaoke. He's holding a machine gun. It was most. ridiculous [ __ ] But he had a full. professional studio where he had green. screen. He had like pro microphones just.

in his basement for funsies. He just did. it for fun. And I was like, that's what. I want to do. I'll do something like. that for fun. And then of course Tom. Green, like you go to Tom Tom Green that. internet show in his living room and I. remember looking around and going, you. just got to figure out how to make money. with this. Like this is this is a job. Like this can that's nice. You knew you. wanted to do that. Wow. It just seemed. like fun. That's the whole re like I. always loved the opportunity to talk to. interesting people or funny people or. you know I I'm a questioner. I like to.

ask questions like how do you how did. you know that? Why'd you do that? You. found a great thing. Yeah. I just got I. it's just like the opportunity to talk. to cool people seems like what a great. thing that would be because it's always. fun to talk to cool people like you like. if I was ever on those shows and I like. ran into someone who was interesting. I. was like wait how did you start this? Like what do you Yeah. You having a lot. of interests helped. Oh [ __ ] for. sure. Yeah. you get big. But back then, I would have told you to get a sitcom.

because there was none no money on. YouTube. Everybody still wanted a sitcom. back then. The only one guy who didn't. and I was like, he's lying. Zach. Alifanakis was like, I don't want to do. a sitcom. And in my head, I'm like, oh, he's lying. But he actually had like a. very um he had his head together. Yeah, he's not lying about nothing. I mean, that guy he's the least attention hory. of any famous f famous person, famous. funny person ever. Not at all. Does he. live like on a farm? He does. He has. like a tractor. Yeah. Very now. Interesting guy. Very smart guy. Very.

smart. He was uh good friends with Brody. and uh he was one of the first people to. alert me when Brody was off the meds. Like there was a time when Brody was off. his meds. Do you remember that? Mhm. People that know we're talking about our. our late great friend Brody Stevens who. was like that. So funny. He was so and. that Brody Stevens is like one of the. best examples of like it's not what's. written on paper. Yeah. You wouldn't. Yeah. If you got his act on paper, you. like this is not going to work. Right.

You'd be like this is nonsense. This. doesn't make any sense at all. Meanwhile, everyone's lining up in the. back of the room to see him say these. things. So, yeah. I think it's like that. Andy Kaufman of our like little time. period there where it was like Andy. Kaufman was a brilliant actor and a. brilliant comedic actor. He's great on. Taxi, but he I don't think he ever. killed on stage like Brody did. Brody. was bro one time we were in the improv a. different type of comedy but it was like. you know a different when he when I was. on stage like people the comedians. watched him yes it was a different thing.

he's doing his own thing he's doing this. Brody Stevens thing one time we were at. the improv and it's really late like I'd. gone up a lot of people gone up the. crowd was kind of tired half the people. there and uh they announced that Brody's. there and Brody's worried that people. are going to get up so Brody takes his. shirt off and he starts swinging it. around in the air over his head walking. through the crowd, let's go, positive. energy. And he gets on stage and he. pulls drumsticks out of his back pocket, starts beating the chairs, and he starts. talking [ __ ] and and he just changed the.

energy of the whole room. Changed the. energy of the whole room. And I don't. think there's anybody like like since. him, I can't think of somebody who's. like replaced. Someone will replace. that, but they're going to do it in. their own way. You got to go like you. have Brody's on stage. You have to go. watch. Yeah. Holtzman's like that now. Holtzman. Oh, I don't know him. Brian. Holtzman. You don't know Brian Holtzman? No. Oh my god. I stay in my house a lot. Oh my god. You let him stay at your. house? You don't even know? No, I say I. stay at my house. You've never saw. Holtzman at the Comedy Store? No. That's. crazy. You know what? I might have and. just didn't know his name. Well, he.

would always gone late at night and. unfortunately, you know, there would be like 15 people. left in the crowd and Holtzman would go. on these wild rants. He's like one of. the funniest guys of all time. He's so. He's like a complete Total Comics comic. Oh yeah. Yeah, I don't know him well, but Holman's at our club now all the. time. All the time. But now he has a. crowd. Now people know about him, so. they come to see him. You cannot go. there. If if anything, if you if you. can't tolerate literally everything,

don't go. Well, very dirty. It's not. It's not dirty. It's just he's out of. his [ __ ] mind. And some of the And. it's kind of in character, but you're. not really sure. I like that. Like Mity. Shore wouldn't let him on stage for two. weeks after 9/11. She wouldn't let him up. He can't go up. He's like, "Mity, I don't understand. I'm not going to cross any lines." He. was like, "Couldn't wait to cross. lines." Do you remember when Susan. Smith, that lady drowned her kids? Yes. He goes, "The day?" The day he's on.

stage. Ladies and gentlemen, I heard. those are bad kids. I heard they sat. that close to the TV. They didn't put. away their blocks. They always spilled. their [ __ ] milk. Those kids are not. going to be missed. And you're like, "What? What did the audience do when. they laugh?" Yeah. Hollywood Comedy. Store, Sunset. Yeah. Tuesday night or. whatever it was, 1:00 a.m. They went. nuts. Everybody went nuts. Yeah. That. But that was Holtzman. Holtzman got. these late spots. So he would say the. wildest, most insane [ __ ] but also have. a really good point half the time. Mhm.

Like it was comedy wrapped up in a point. and then every now and then he let you. in on it like that. It was just just. [ __ ] around and go right back to it. Yeah. Yeah. And you you know it's it's a. little dance he's doing with the crowd. and you got to know what the dance is. But if you know what the dance is like. comics love him. Like whenever he's on. stage we we sit in the balcony and watch. Holtzman at the mothership. It sounds. like that other guy who's older and. playing on his name. Don Baris. Nope. Uh. he's like what are you people doing. inherit this hour? Oh, Lewis Black. No.

Jesus. Who who are you talking about? He's at the store. Eddie. having Eddie. Pepp. Oh yeah, he's great too. Very. similar in a lot of ways like just. insane energy and and has a point but is. also saying completely wacky. Yeah, it's. it's I love like these like how long. he's a sweetheart of a guy can be. Yeah, he is. I think he started late. I I. think yet he started late. I think so.

At least I wasn't aware of him until. later. It's good we have long career. Like imagine I was thinking about the. sports guys, you know, like you're a. baseball player, that's your identity. And then you're 30 and you're like it's. over. Yeah. You can go to maybe 40. Like. look, Tom Brady still playing football. Was he like 42 when he retired? Still. that's youngish to have young as [ __ ]. If you're a comic, if your your identity. is I'm a sports, you know, player. I'm. like a sports player. That's how much I. know. I just revealed how what a good. big sports guy I am. Sports player. you.

know, are you a you're a sports player? An athlete makes a ton of money for a. very short amount of time. That's why. they all go broke or not all of them, but a large amount of them go bankrupt. It's also just like you you think about. your identity when you're a kid and you. probably get all that, you know, identity as a as an athletic person, then you become like a professional and. must be difficult to just you have to. really never hook into that. Like that's. my identity. It's also like if you're a. really hot woman, I think it's hard when. you know, you got to like not have be.

that be your identity and just can't be. your whole thing cuz one day it's going. to go away. But if you're an athlete, it. goes away even quicker than being a hot. lady. Like there's hot ladies that are. in their 50s. They're still hot. They. maintain their their looks. Hot ladies. in the 50s. They they work out. They. take care of their skin, but there's no. like super athletes that are in their. 50s. Like they don't exist. What about. not at a professional level? Hold on. Let me think. Go ahead. It's not. possible. I know athletes. There's one. guy here. There's one guy I can tell you. that did it into his 50s. Bernard. Hopkins. He played golf. No, he was a.

boxer. World champion boxer. Multiple. division world champion boxer. Was. beating world champions at 50 years old. Did Tyson Was he full on going full on? I don't know. I'm not Mike Tyson. But I. would say by the tone of my voice, you. could sense a little bit of skepticism. Yeah. Anybody who's a combat sports. athlete looked at that and said, you. know, I'm happy Mike Tyson made money. It seemed like he held back a little. bit, but maybe there was an agreement. I.

wasn't there. That would be I'm not one. for wild speculation. I don't know. No, you don't get until he was 69 years old. in 276 days. One extra game. Gordy How. Gordy How great great sock hockey. hockey. He was 69. Yeah. I mean, he. wasn't he wasn't in the NHL at that. point, but he played a professional. hockey game at that age. Yeah, that's. insane. Hey, Joe, can I have a cigar? I. want to look manly. I I need I need. something to uh look manly. Get some. freshies out of the humidor. You look.

very manly. I I mean, I thank you, but I. I sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm. like, that guy looks That's the key. Kelly Slater, also prourfer. Still. rolling. I'm going to look ridiculous. Kelly's a. great example. He's another example of. someone who just takes care of. themselves. But uh Bernard Hopkins was. uh what was like Bernard Hopkins world. championship fight that he had when he. was in his seven list on Wikipedia gives.

Albert Hughes is the oldest pro boxer at. 70 years old. Oh my god. That seems out. of suicide. I'm going to look. I don't. what year I know Archie Moore who was a. famous boxer um before the um Muhammad. Ali days. Like Archie Moore. was that's like way back in the video of. it. I don't know what. Oh, that's just. sad. Who's fighting? The guy he's. fighting does not look like he's trying. to hit him. He wins. The old guy wins. That's what the video headline says.

This looks like someone took a. [ __ ] dive. Win over. That kid. needed money. Yeah, this this kid's not punching back. at all. He's just covering up. This. looks super sus. If I was that Oh, and. he just goes down. Yeah, if I was the. athletic commissioner, I'd have a talk. with those fellas and like, "Hey, what. are we doing here? Is this pro. wrestling?" White Tyson, 36 years after. his last fights. Well, I do know that. people have been offered fights that are. fake fights. Like, they've been offered. You do know that for a fact 100% 100%. I.

know people have been offered fights. where they said, "You you you will win. the fight." That's I don't like that at. all. I know there's celebrity boxing. matches and celebrity fights that are. like that where they make a deal. Would. you ever do a legit fight at some point? I'm old as [ __ ] dude. No, dude. You're. a chicken. Spring chicken. No, no, no, no, no, no. You shouldn't do that kind. of stuff as you get older. I don't think. I don't think your body's as resilient. Even if you stay fit and in shape, you. don't want head trauma in your 50s. I've. hit my head so many times in my life. I'm a little worried about So, Hopkins.

broke his own record by winning the IBF. light heavyweight title from Tavorus. Cloud in 2013. And again in 2014, we won. the WBA super title from uh Baboot. Schumangh at ages 48 and 49. That's. [ __ ] crazy. So he wins two titles, a. title at age 48 and a title at age 49. Incredible. Are those rigged? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The way that he. would box was super intelligent. Like he.

was very defensively minded. You didn't. get clean shots off on Bernard Hopkins. He was he was very clever and he. understood boxing like at at a very very. like deep level. His footwork was always. on point. Never drank, never smoked, always took care of his body, ate only. organic food, worked out every day, never got out of shape, just all. discipline. And so he was able to. maintain his body. Did you ever have. that guy Brian uh do that like that?

What the hell is that? Oh, what the. [ __ ] That's not working. Piece of [ __ ]. These things die. That is a piece of. [ __ ] No way. There it goes. Have you. had that guy? I'm going to look. ridiculous doing this. I know. You look. like a man. I think more of you now. Thanks, man. Joe said I look like a man. Would that. be funny if that's all it takes? I. didn't. You know, I did not. I started. you. Come on, [ __ ] I think I have to fill. it. Yeah, I only got a corner. Have you.

had that guy on who's trying to live. forever? a vampire. No, I haven't. I I'm. really fascinated with that guy. I like. what he's doing. He's trying. It's kind. of interesting. But he's doing a bunch. of stuff that I would say most experts. believe is not the way to go. One of. them is avoiding sunlight. Like uh Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're supposed to get. sunlight. Like sunlight is important for. your body. It's the best way your body. produces vitamin D. It's great for your. endorphins. Sunlight is good for you. this idea that you should just be. shielded from the sun because you're. going to prevent skin cancer. That's.

it's probably I've talked to a. dermatologist about this and they were. explaining that if you don't have. resilience from the sun, if you're not. like used to going out in the sun and. then you go out all in one burst and get. sunburned. He's like, "Yeah, sunburn is. not good for you." Yeah. He goes, "You're damaging your skin. What you. should do is get accustomed to being in. the sun so you don't get [ __ ]. sunburned and then be out in the sun. Don't get cooked. Don't spend the whole. day out in the sun and get cooked. But.

being out in the sun is actually good. for you. It's healthy for your body. Yes, that's just one thing. The other. thing is the vegan thing. I get it if. it's for ethical concern. You've got. this idea in your mind that animal life. is more important than plant life and. you don't want to contribute to animal. death. Okay, I understand that. perspective, but not from a health. perspective. From a health perspective, all the studies that showed that, you. know, meat causes this and meat, it's. all been debunked. And not only that, most of them are these epidemiology.

studies where they they ask people like, "How often do you eat meat? Is it two. times a week, three times a week, four. times a week?" And the more people that. ate meat, the more people you see. diseases, more people you see problems, all these health consequences. And so. they go, "Oh, meat correlates to these. health consequences." What you don't ask. them is, "How did you eat the meat? Is. it a Jack in the Box burger with a. [ __ ] giant Coca-Cola? Did you have. fries that were cooked in seed oil? Did.

you eat cake with it? What did you do? Do you smoke cigarettes? How often do. you drink? Do you drink every night? Okay. Like people that are more health. consscious, especially if they haven't. like read into it enough where they. really understand what's nutrientdense. and what what causes problems with your. health and what are the real issues. with, you know, high sugar diets like. And and those people, they hear meat is. bad, so they say, "You know what? I'm. just going to eat vegetarian. It seems. like it's healthier. I'm just going to.

eat lentils. They're good for you. They. don't cause cancer. I read about the. China diet." And so you start believing. that, but that's not really true. And. people have eaten meat since the. literally the beginning of time. And 95%. of the planet eats meat. There's a bunch. of things that likely contribute to all. sorts of metabolic diseases that people. have. I don't think regular meat is one. of them. I don't think a grass-fed steak. and a [ __ ] salad is going to kill. you. I think the real issue is buns and.

fries and soda and chips and cookies. And the people that don't avoid eating. meat if they're not well read about it, they're doing it because they don't give. a [ __ ] I'm going to eat a burger cuz I. want to eat a burger, you know? So, you. get a lot of that. So, in the people. that avoid meat, you get like a healthy. user bias because these are people that. even if it's not correct, like I know. people that truly believe that you can. become a better athlete on a vegan diet. I'm like, "Okay, but there's no pros who. have ever done that. No pros who have.

ever gone vegan and been especially at. an explosive sport. There's only like a. few people out there like there's a guy. named Martin Bak. Do you know who he. is?" Of course. Martin Bol from the. Cincinnati Red Dogs. No, you you're. making it up. Martin Bele is uh one of. the best heavyweight boxers in the. world. He's just [ __ ] enormous guy. Um I think he's I don't remember what. part of Africa he's from. He might be. congalles. Uh, he's a monster. And he's a.

vegetarian. Vegetarian. [ __ ] people. up. It's kind of crazy. Like one of the. best heavyweight boxers alive. Huge guy. And he's a vegetarian. It's an. aberration though. And vegetarian. You. can still eat eggs. Eggs are probably as. good as anything. If you want to eat. like one protein and, you know, simple, easy to digest, has everything. Eggs are. pretty [ __ ] solid. Eggs like every. day. I I actually tried to not eat meat. for a little while a few years ago and I. you need like a nutritionist with you to.

really make sure you cover that. Yeah. You got to get all your vitamins. correctly. And then you got to make sure. you're you're not taking too many. vitamins and which ones are water. soluble, which ones are fat soluble. Mhm. I just caught myself in the uh. camera here. I look ridiculous smoking. the cigar. Well, you look like a man. I. can tell that I like you more this way. Great. Hide those things from people. You shouldn't be able to look at. yourself. It's bad for you. I love it. I. love that. Oh yeah, Joe just turned the.

camera off. It's just like reading the. comments. Don't do it. By the way, you. know these youngans uh these young kids. Let me go lecture. Yeah, I was at one point where What. about John Larette? You ever gonna get. to that? We'll get to it. Let's not rush that story. Let the. podcast breathe for a second, okay? and. then we'll figure So these young kids. now I noticed this uh women will do this. they'll be like people say um I light up. the room woman told me this who ever.

says people say I light up the room that. actually lights up the room that's what. sometimes people say I'm funny but I. I've noticed like the young people they. they tell you compliments they got and. I'm like why is this because for our. area it's like you never say like I'm. great people think I'm great you never. would say that but now this is my theory. I don't know if this is true. They. they've grown up on Facebook where. people say, "You look so pretty." And. then everyone sees the compliment and. now when they go out in the world and. they get a compliment, then they're.

like, "Oh, I let people know my comp.". Everyone sees the compliments. That's. probably exactly my That's a very good. theory. I think that's a book about it. You should buy that. Make sure you do. the audio yourself. No merch. Yeah, I'm. going to definitely audio. You don't. have any merch? No merch. You should. have Caitlyn Jenner merch. Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. That was when I knew comic was doomed. You and I were I sent you what they cut. Yeah, we we were having a conversation. You were showed it to me in the comedy. store green room. In the green room and. the main room. You were telling me the. the struggle you're going through. It.

was so stressful that whole thing. Well, you had this show that you were doing on. your own that was amazing. And it's one. of those things like South Park, right? Where South Park really works cuz they. can do outrageous [ __ ] cuz you know it's. not real cuz they don't even look. remotely human. Yeah. your brain knows. you when you were doing the face swaps. with like cell phone technology, you. know, like what everybody can use. It. was obvious. So, something funny about.

it being clearly not Bill Maher. It was. clearly Kyle Dunigan. It It. wasn't Kim Kardashian. It was Kyle. Dunigan. It was, you know, you you had. It was the way you were doing it was. like was super obvious. Then the Comedy. Central thing came along like this. Like. you get a beard. I mean, that looks. ridiculous. I didn't mean to have a. beard. You started from the beginning. Give me Let's play a different episode, a different one. This one's terrible. Listen, no one's buying my book. So, uh,

yeah. I thought I would read a lecture. to wet your whistle. All right, we can. turn this off. Turn it off. You tortured. him. If you want to put on a baby, if. you want to put on a good one, put the. good one where she uh What happened to. her vagina? I forget what it was. Yeah, but they were all talking about. something happened and she's she shoved. a baby in her [ __ ]. Yeah, that sounds like a bad idea. Your. house burned down. Oh, it was awful. Girls, for a minute there, I thought I.

was going to suffer the same fate as my. nut sack. Oh jeez. Yeah, baby. I want to. apologize to the trans. Yeah. Did you. fave all of your clothes? Yeah. The. first thing I did when I saw the flames. was grabbed my Fendy clutch and my. Alexander McQueen stiletto pumps. Yeah. My Yeah. Then I ran back into the flames. to get my Louis Vuitton alligator. duffel. A bag so beautiful it demands. attention. Yeah. My size 17 Jimmy Choose. and my dog Checkers. But there was only. enough time to save two of those things,

girls. Oh no. The thick Sophie's choice. What's that? What did you choose? This. is what I do with my time. Checkers is. [ __ ] dead. Checkers got my old balls. to play with up in heaven, baby. That's what I'm doing with my time. That's an old one. It's an old But the. fact that that's obvious made it better. when they did it on Comedy Central. They. used higher level technology and it was. kind of weird. Mhm. It's creepy. It has.

that uh what is that? Um Uncanny Valley. Uncanny Valley. Uncanny Valley. Yeah. Your brain needs to know it's a joke. like obvious like that's obvious joke. like no one's gonna look at that go what. did Caitlyn Jenner say you look at that. and you go what is this what the [ __ ] is. like that's part of the fun of it is it. doesn't look real yeah it's completely. ridiculous I didn't mean to have a beard. that was just I was being lazy I was. like trying to make a. joke by the way I never did I did. impressions when I was younger when I.

was like in middle school I would do. them and then I never I started doing. them like a manager was like don't do. impression essions and then that face. app came along and I look nothing like. Trump. Though the first one I was doing. was Trump. Yeah. Cuz I I did a Trump. like years ago and I was like, "Oh, I. can do Trump because my face like is the. opposite of Trump." Stormy. Stormy. Stormy. It's funny. I have the. worst Trump. Like I did Trump first and. it's the worst one. Now everyone does a. better Trump. It was fun though. It It's.

a It was a ridiculous character though. But it's like that's how I knew Comedy. Central was doomed. I'm like, if you. guys are [ __ ] this up, like this show. he's g to get you on a silver platter. Just get out of the way. All you got to. do is get out of the way. You were. working with Mezer, right? Not at that. moment. Yeah. Eventually you were. Yeah. Eventually, like all you got to do is. get out of the way. Just get out of the. way. Put a point a camera at it. Let him. tell him you're supporting them. Yeah. Eventually there was a show on Yeah. I. was doing like full on that because that.

that was like I was just kind of doing. little videos and then it became like I. was crafting you know we would do you. were in one of them time counselor like. we had like crafted episodes where what. did we do in that one? You played Becky. the nurse. Where's time just to show Joe I don't. think you remember this. you you. probably don't remember it, but Time. Canceller um was like a full episode. where Yeah. No one no one never was. like, "Hey, we can make this and it and. it wasn't dirty and it was like got a. lot of views and I I never Hollywood.

never was they were always like, "No, thank you." Yeah. They couldn't figure. out. It is weird. And it is weird. Well, it's. just it's this weird marriage of uh. comedy, creative people, and then. business people, executives. That's the. weird marriage. And they they because. they've had a few hit shows before. We're, you know, we're producing South. Park. We're like, but you don't make it. You can't make it yourself. Like, so you. have this idea in your head that you're.

a part of the process of and you could. ch you you've got an eye for creativity. Oh, that's right. Haha. Nurse. Becky, you are really good in that. Thank you. I don't Do you Do you come up. to that on stage to Joe Rogan from the. Well, a lot of people are bring it up at. the airport. Yeah. Comes up there a lot. Do you Do you have any like I I don't. want to be seen. You just like people. coming up to you. How do you feel about. that? Most people are nice. It's just.

people being nice. Most people the vast. majority of people they just want to say. hi. you they like what you do. It's. nice, you know, because of you. Um, a. lot of dudes come to my show, which is. great. Was it mostly girls before? It's. mostly. nobody. It was mostly neither. People. are coming to my shows, but now it's. great. People are coming to my shows, but it is like a sea of dudes. Like, no. I did a tour and I was I started count. like are any girls coming to my show?

And the only ones would come would be. like, my boyfriend likes you. It's. something like that. like and uh yeah I. I I saw thousands of people I didn't. see. There was never like three girls. came to see me or something. It might be. like one autistic girl. No ladies who likes to hear you say, "Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby.". Wait till next week's episode of Kill. Tony. Oh my god. The wildest show. That.

show is like a fever dream. Wow. It's. like nothing else is going to be on. Netflix like that. Yeah, it was so fun. We can't give anything away because it. doesn't come out until Monday. So, we. don't want to give anything away. Oh, but holy [ __ ] was it funny. I love. Tony's like I like when comedians do. well cuz it's so much pressure. Can you. imagine the pressure these comedian? It's like could change their and there's. nothing you when you're young you don't. even know how to make it in show. business and there's just like one show.

they can this was a direct link. So, it's like, but it also works like. there's guys that have gone from that. show that have real careers now. Guys. like Cam Patterson, William Montgomery, these guys are going on the road. They're selling out all over the place. Oh, yeah. People love them. David Lucas, I mean, it's kind of incredible. The fan. base is rapid. Yeah, he's made a lot of. like careers. They're selling out arenas. this weekend in Nashville. I know. They. have like the comedy baton right now. The The funny thing is when when someone. doesn't do well and it's like dead.

silent, this makes me laugh. And Tony. will go, "Holy [ __ ] Tonyy's the worst.". He's so mean. He's like, "Holy [ __ ]. he's so good at roasting. Oh my god.". He's the best at it. There's no one. close. He's the best roaster ever. Yeah, he's unbelievably on that Tom Brady. roast. He was a [ __ ] savage. Holy. [ __ ] Yeah, that Tom Brady roast was so. important to comedy because it was the. most watched thing ever in Netflix and. it was the most unwoke thing that's ever.

been on television. Yeah. So, it was. like it broke the damn and Nikki Glazer. was really funny. Yeah, really funny. Jeff Ross was great on it. Schultz. killed on it. It was great. Schultz. having something like that was a big. moment, you know, like something that's. just just funny. Like, [ __ ] all these. stupid rules. We're talking [ __ ] This. is just talking [ __ ] Everybody loves. it. I think it seems like it's done. It. seems like everything Well, it's not. done with some people. They're triple. masking right now as they're listening. to this. I can't believe this. They're. not listening to this. They got a.

tie-dye mask on the outside. They're. kicking a Tesla on their way to the. garage. I know a comedian who still goes. on stage with a mask and has it the. whole time and comes in the whole time. I won't say puts it on when he's talking. into the microphone. It comes in. Maybe. he takes it off. No. Yeah, I think he. takes it off for the thing. People were. doing comedy through masks. That's one. of very funny. That's one of the dumbest. [ __ ] things of all time. You know. what? Maybe he has like an immune. disease. I don't know. Maybe it doesn't.

Stay home. It doesn't matter. It's not. helping you. You're breathing into this. [ __ ] cloth that's an inch from your. face and bacteria is going to accumulate. there and moisture and it's probably. going to be worse for you. Don't you. hate it when you're like you're doing. standup and like accidentally like mouth. it like that and think all the people. There's been 15 comedians before you and. comedians are disgusting. Let's be. honest. We're all disgusting group of. people and and you're just like, "Ah, okay. I got to just wait for this. disease." Wait for what? Yeah. If. someone's got a cold, we all have a.

cold. That's one thing. Sharing the. microphone with somebody who has the. flu. I know a girl who brings her own. microphone. Swear to God. The stand. Really? Yeah. Doesn't Eliza do that, too? I don't know. How's she doing? Haven't heard I think she just released. a special. You ever see her movie that's. like weird cuz it's like some of it's. funny then all of a sudden it's serious. and you're like is it goes back and. forth from mixed genres they call it. You know what she's on that I love. Righteous Gemston Gemstones. [Laughter].

You know who else? Edie Patterson. I. love her. I I was in the Groundlings. with her. We would do sketches. Edie is. like the daughter or something. She's so. funny. She's just weird and funny. It's. a weird show. It's a funny show, man. Like like I can't believe nobody told me. to watch it. Maybe they did. Too many. show. I have a thing where I'm like. don't can you just not tell me another. good show. Not caught up. The Baldwins. You watching that? No. Was it a sitcom? It's a reality show. But Alec Baldwin is.

terrible wife. Why would you? She's an. awful Cuz I watch what women watch. That's what I Does she fake the accent? I'll watch it if she fakes the accent. Yeah, she fake. She's a Does she She is. She doesn't understand the words. Yeah. The What is How do you say in English? Cucumber, cucumber, cucumber. And he goes along with But he Do you. have that her shushing him at like a red. car? Isn't it just awful? Yeah, I'm. talking. You're not talking. I'm talking. when not talking. He Alice Baldwin can.

get like a really sweet, beautiful. woman. He's Alice Baldwin. What. happened? He would yell. They would run. away. He would. yell? What do you mean he would yell? He. would yell at them. They'd run away. Who. knows? Who knows what these two are. like? They both look like they're out of their. [ __ ] minds. And I'm sure it's edited, but he comes off way better than her. Maybe he's doing that on purpose. Maybe. that's a clever move. Let her say crazy. [ __ ] Don't check her. Let her come off. looking like a nut. Maybe they planned. it. Maybe they have a wonderful. relationship and they said, "Listen,

this is not going to sell." She. humiliated him. Maybe you're right to go. viral. Listen, you you going to shut me. up and I'm not even going to comment on. it. Plus, I just killed a lady. So it. does make you forget about when he. killed that lady a little bit. It's a. good way to make you forget the show. Yeah. Well, another good way is you. change your gender. Oh yeah, that's. another good way. I mean I Bruce killed. that lady with a car, baby. That was Br. Yeah, just Bruce. That was like right. after that. Have you ever seen the. footage of the car the reenactment? Like.

she was putting on lipstick or. something. She was very distracted. What. was I say about Alec Bald? Hold on. There was one thing. No, he was. You. said she. You shouldn't say she. You. should say what did I say? You said she. was. Please correct yourself. That was. back when she was Bruce. She She was. Was she always Bruce? What does it say. in the in the Olympics? Dead name. What? Can you dead name in the Olympics? Is. that allowed? Dead naming kind of went. away, huh? Yeah, that didn't work. People like, wait, you can't you can't. kick people out of the social square for. life because they won't accept this.

bizarre new thing you're doing. There it. is. Bruce Jenner still says Bruce. Wow, look how jacked he was. Oh, yeah. Back. then it was he. There's that nutshack. You can see the nutshack. Yeah. Nah. Did he um have the I think I have no. information. Yes. But I think so. You're. holding back. Do you work for the. government? I know a guy. I'll tell Trump to release. the files so terrifically. What a terrific guy. Are we getting new. files, Jamie? Does anything happen? We.

Oliver Stone apparently testified about. the JFK assassination. What does he. know? How does he know? He knows. everything about it. How does he know? He's a a literally a warehouse of. information on the JFK assassination. Before the podcast, during the podcast, after the podcast, he wouldn't stop. talking about he like is Terren Howard. information. No, it's Oliver Stone. He's. a brilliant guy. Oliver Stone can give. you he could sit down and break down. from just from recall. And how old is. Oliver Stone?

late. like complete recall of dates, times, who was involved, who they worked for. before this happened, who Kennedy had. fired, why they were on the Warren. Commission report, what the Warren. Commission reports objectives were, who. was influencing it, who saw the the. gunshots in the grass, you know, how did. they die in mysterious circumstances. He. like rattle it all off off the top of. his head and he's like um he tells.

Congress to reinvestigate the 1963. assassination starting at the scene of. the crime. Like I'm telling you man, the. movie he did is you know great movie. Kevin Coer. Wonderful movie. But talking. to him about it is where you really. freak out. Like this guy has been. studying the JFK assassination forever. and he thinks it was a CIA or hit all. you know no one knows and until you get. all these files no one's going to know. and even once you get all these files.

what is it going to how you're still. going to connect dots and it's not like. there's a page page 24 Mike did it oh. [ __ ] Mike yeah Mike was in the grassy. null I told him shoot that Irish. [ __ ] he's gonna rob us no there's. none of that you're you're gonna at. certain details that weren't available. before for national security reasons or. for whatever. But if they had made some. sort of a declaration that Kennedy was a. problem that needed to be removed, that. would be like the as close to a smoking.

gun as you would get. But they could. probably get away with saying things. like that in 1963, you know, especially. like people that worked at that. They. were doing nutty [ __ ] in ' 63. like. really nutty [ __ ] Like that's the year. the same year as Operation Northwoods, right? That's the same year Operation. Northwoods was this crazy idea that was. drummed up. It was a false flag idea. that was drummed up and literally signed. by the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Like they.

they gave this a green light and then. vetoed by Kennedy. And what they were. going to do is they're going to have a. bunch of false flag attacks. like they. were going to blow up a jetliner and. they were going to blame it on Cuba and. they were going to arm Cuban friendlies. and bomb Guantanamo Bay. They were going. to literally kill American citizens. And. the idea was do this false flag, blame. it on Cuba, then we have to go to war. with Cuba. And Kennedy was like, "What. the [ __ ] are you doing?" No. And then.

there was the other one which was the. Bay of Pigs. So they informed Kennedy. about the Bay of Pigs. Apparently they. have for informed him about it like late. in the process and he denied them air. support. So the whole plan of invading. Cuba, the Bay of Pigs was depended upon. air support. They didn't get air support. cuz Kennedy said no to it. So all these. people died that didn't have to die. All. these American soldiers died that didn't. have to die. And my friend Evan Hayer. from Black Rifle Coffee, he had a very. good point. He said like if you wanted.

to look at someone who had a bone to. pick, who was like a hardened killer, like those guys who got stranded at that. beach, those would be the kind of guys. that would want to kill Kennedy. Like. there's probably a lot of people that. wanted to kill Kennedy. You know, there's probably the mob wanted to kill. him because they got the mob got him in. You know, the whole thing that happened. with Illinois, like him winning. Illinois, very shaky stuff, right? Very. shaky election. So, the mob got him in.

and then his brother starts going after. the mob. Yeah. Like, hey, [ __ ] face. Like, what kind of deal is this? Mhm. And then you've got he's trying to get. rid of the CIA. He wants to get rid of. uh all these like he gives that speech. about privacy, about having these. private groups and having secrecy and. secret societies. Have you ever seen. that speech about secret societies that. Kennedy made? Yeah. No. It's really. creepy. He's talking call calling.

talking talking about how secret. societies are repugnant and that you. he's essentially calling out the shadow. government. You he's calling out all. these people that are involved in these. organizations literally from like Yale. like the skull and bones that they're. all in. All these creepy frat boys join. the skull and bones. Then one day they. wind up ruling the world. Like it's kind. of Harry Potterish. It's bizarly, you. know, on the nose as far as what it is. But he was calling that stuff out in the. 60s as well. And then they kill him and.

then you don't hear a peep about any of. that stuff anymore. And we will get to. the John Lerette story. Just anybody. listening to talk about secret. societies. I want to see secret. societies. There are secret societies. It's a it's a very creepy speech when. you think about the fact that they. killed him like less than a year later, I believe. What about the back and the. left? This is what I heard. I don't I. don't know any information but the in. Oliver Stone he was like back and to the. lift back and but someone was saying no.

your head would go would do that because. it like from the shot from the back your. head would like recoil back I don't know. anything well we could look at that too. let's hear. it the speech that killed him about. gentlemen. the very word secrecy is repugnant in a. free and open society and And we are as. a people inherently and historically. opposed to secret societies, to secret.

oaths, and to secret. proceedings. We decided long ago that. the dangers of excessive and unwarranted. concealment of pertinent facts far. outweighed the dangers which are cited. to justify it. Even today there is. little value in opposing the threat of a. closed society by imitating its. arbitrary. restrictions. Even today there is little. value in ensuring the survival of our.

nation if our traditions do not survive. with it. And there is very grave danger. that an announced need for increased. security will be seized upon by those. anxious to expand its meaning to the. very limits of official censorship and. concealment. That I do not intend to. permit to the extent that it's in my. control. And no official of my. administration, whether his rank is high. or low, civilian or military, should.

interpret my words here tonight, as an. excuse to censor the news, to stifle. dissent, to cover up our. mistakes, or to withhold from the press. and the public the facts they deserve to. know. For we are opposed around the world by a. monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that. relies primarily on covet means for. expanding its sphere of influence, on. infiltration instead of invasion. On.

subversion instead of elections, on. intimidation instead of free choice, on. guerrillas by night instead of armies by. day. It is a system which has. conscripted vast human and material. resources into the building of a. tightlyk knit, highly efficient machine. that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic, scientific and. political operations. Its preparations.

are concealed, not published. Its. mistakes are buried, not headlined. Its. dissenters are silenced, not praised. No. expenditure is questioned, no rumor is. printed, no secret is. revealed. No president should fear. public scrutiny of his program. For from. that scrutiny comes understanding and. from that understanding comes support or. opposition and both are necessary. Why.

did why did we become so [ __ ] Like. listen to how genius what he's saying is. and how eloquently he's describing the. problem. People don't talk like that. anymore. No, we don't talk like that. anymore. And if we did talk like that, people be like, "What did he just say?". Yeah. I didn't understand why. I. understood half of those words. This is. 1963. We're dumber now. Oh yeah. With. more access to information than we were. in ' 63. And people think they're. smarter cuz their phone they think. that's them, too. GBT is like.

well I tried Grock too and it was really. cool. I kind of felt like I don't know. you could just see liking your AI. friend. Well that's a problem with. people. Grock is saying some wild [ __ ]. to folks. Oh I know they have that. different kind of stuff. Well if you. also if you ask Grock uh if you were. like purely evil and you wanted to. destroy society uh would you do how. would you do it? And Grock essentially. describes everything that's happening in.

society. Yeah. It's like Idiocracy. You. know that movie? Idiocracy. Yeah. Idiocracy. Yeah. Yeah. It's happening. I. definitely feel like idiocracy like was. very charitable in terms of like their. version of the future in comparison to. what we're saying. Yes. I'm because they. didn't figure in cell phone addiction. Yeah. You know what makes me laugh is. when you look at like a 70s movie about. the future and like what they got right. and wrong. Yeah. First of all, we don't. do the FaceTime as much as they thought. we were going to just do that all the. time. We're like, "No, we don't want.

that." Another funny thing is like the. back of TVs. They're like, "TVs are. never going to get rid of the back. They're going to have flying cars." But. the Where do you put the stuff? Like, there's always going to be a big box. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, "Oh, there's no more racism in the future.". And you have flying cars. Where's the. flying cars? Yeah. No flying cars. No. bad no racism. There's no black people. Watch the Jetsons. They don't have a. single black person. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. That's that was our show. Need. George and then they' be flying around.

your flying car. What year was that. supposed to be? Did they say like 2012? Let's take a guess. What is it? Oh, wait. Sorry. Oh, my cigar keeps going. out. Is that a sign of manlyhood when. I shouldn't be like. 2006? What? No, that's when it came out. That's when the movie was released. No, I mean like when No, no, not Idiocracy. The Jetsons. What year is the Jetson. supposed to be? Idiocracy was supposed. to be 2020. What? 255. Oh, 200. That's probably again very.

charitable. Yeah. And by the way, we. could have a pro wrestling president. right now, by the way. Right. Oh, yeah. The Rock, you know, I like that guy. Are. we allowed to say that? I think they. wanted The Rock to run. Rock. Rock could. win. I I went to go, right? Yeah. I went. to the gym with The Rock when I was in. LA. Not a brag. I'm just telling you the. facts. We went to the same gym. Did you. guys get pumped? got Yeah, we got like. this is before he was like really. famous. But there was this like. restaurant nearby and I was there and he. he got a stack of like 10 burgers.

That's all he ate. I was like an. enormous dude guy. He was just wrestling. back then. He could be the president. He. couldn't do the lift the weight I was. doing though. He he went the machine and. he had to go down. Kind of humiliating. What? Found a year for the Jetsons. Okay, let's guess. Okay. I want to say. 1998. 1999. I'm gonna say 199. No way. Yeah, for reference to it came out in. 1962 was the debut. 2000 2000 this year. 2025 1999. What is it? Is apparently a.

100 years into the future. So 2062. Oh, okay. Not going to happen though. None. of No. No. They didn't figure out. phones. That's even Star Trek didn't. figure out cell phones. It was there was. a walkie-talkie. Kirk out. He had to. like shut his little walkie-talkie off. They did. Yeah. Kirk didn't have that. Did you see this [ __ ] warp drive. thing that they No, but I love space and. all this stuff, so I want to see this. Yeah, somebody uh sent me that. This is. very very strange. Um I took physics in.

college. Not to brag, but just telling. you guys I bet you did, dude. I I you. know, I never thought of doing something. else, but I love other things. And for. some reason, I just was like in taking. acting classes. Um what did you like. about physics? I always. um love like out like outer space and. just science stuff. I just always have. like an interest in it. And in school I.

was very I didn't score well but like. physics I did well because it was like. um wasn't read a lot of reading. Wasn't. dense reading. What is the problem with. you in reading? Well, I never got. tested, but I never got tested, but I. did take Spanish. And she goes, "All. your you write all your B's and D's. backwards." So, I'm assuming I have. dyslexia. How old were you, though? I. was in high school, but I always read. So, like my parents were cool. They'd. send me to read speed reading classes. They weren't back then, in my day, they. weren't like, you have a reading. disorder. They were like, you just need.

you're dumb and you need to read faster. Yeah. You you suck. Yeah. There was no. test. No one had dyslexia. So, dyslexia. is like you see things backwards. Is. that what it is? It's sort of like you. flip things. So I actually put a. dyslexia app on my computer and it sort. of like makes the font so I don't flip. the like, you know. So you do have. dyslexia? Definitely. I never was. tested, but this app I I I read much. faster with it. So I'm assuming I do. I. took the medicine. It got better. So I. assume I had it. Yeah, that's kind of.

what it was. Jamie, I sent you that warp. drive thing. Yeah. Uh I was trying to. pull it up. I don't like labels, Joe. I. don't want to label myself with a. disease. I can read. DARPA funded. researchers accidentally discover the. words world's first warp bubble. Warp drive pioneer and former NASA warp. drive specialist Dr. Harold G. Sunny. White has reported the discovery of an. actual realworld warp bubble. And. according to White, the firstofits-kind.

breakthrough by Limitless Space. Institutees team sets up a new starting. point for those trying to manufacture a. full-sized warp capable spacecraft. They added our detailed numerical. analysis of our custom cimer cavities. I. don't know what that means. Helped us. identify a real and manufacturable nano. micro structure that is predicted to. generate a negative vacuum energy. density that such that it would manifest. a real nanocale warp bubble but not an.

analog but the real thing. In other. words, a warp bubble structure will. manifest under these specific. conditions. white caution that this does. not mean we are building a fully. functioning warp drive. A much as much. more science needs to be done. All. right. So, if this was 2021, when I. Googled to find it to try to see what. you're talking about, I found this. article just came out 3 days ago. Oh, three days ago. Uh, it's about an email. though, but warp drive think tank adds. Harvard astrophysicists and warp.

theorists to advance planetary defense. Talking about warp drive is an asteroid. collection or something or other. So, they're going to throw a warp drive. around an asteroid to keep it from. killing us. I don't know. Yeah. Could. have profound effects on planetary. defense, advanced propulsion, and warp. drive detection. Maybe that's where our. asteroids are coming from. Someone like. shot an asteroid like, you know, like. something's coming at their car. They. whacked it out of the window and and it. hit your car. Yeah. You know what I. mean? That's what's happen. We got the. uh little tennis racket belt smacked.

that bird and it went into your window. Yeah. Yeah. That's what's happening in. outer space. I wonder if that's what's. happening. I wonder if like they see an. asteroid coming, they just throw a warp. bubble at it and it just appears. somewhere else. Not my problem. That'd. be cool. It just shows up. Jupiter saves. us from all our our little strikes. Yeah, we do have like a a perfect setup, but then uh Okay, so this is no co. coincidence. We are working on something. historic when pushed for a timeline and. list of goals for the team's newest. project. Uh Mart M Martr Martier.

Martier, how do you think you say that? M- a r t i r e malterero. mater said yes they exist but we can't. disclose those details at this time he. said seemingly boundless passion. practically coming through in print. you'll understand why once I'm able to. show you it's rad applied physics go. applied physics is currently hiring okay. I won't tell you what it is but um.

great so this is what I've been thinking. a lot of these [ __ ] and UAP things. are. Yes. I want to know what you think. That's what I think. I think some of it. has got to be ours. And I think if I had. some [ __ ] that I did want the general. public to know that I had and I wanted. to protect it from like espionage, didn't want enemies to find out about. it, I would say it's not mine. I'd say. it's coming from outer space. It's uh. it's not of this world. Yeah. Hey guys, some articles stand there in the a race. to build the world's first working warp. drive. Jesus. Warp theorists say we've.

entered an exotic propulsion space race. to build the world world's first working. warp drive. All this is happening while. AI is becoming sentient. Did you hear. that? AI passed the touring test. It is. this recently. Yeah, it was an article. from yesterday. AI passes touring test. for the first time. Yeah, it learns like. exponential. People think it's it's. happening so fast. You know what the. touring test is? Yeah. To see if it can. be passed as a human. Yeah. If you if it.

passes as a human to to everyone to I. don't think I could pass the touring. test. Terrifying study reveals AI robots. have passed touring tests and now are. indistinguishable from human scientists. say. Yeah, bro. We're so [ __ ] It it. is a I think the good things is it'll. probably cure loneliness a little bit. Like old people robot friend. That's. good 100%. But it's going to be real. weird and it could be complete. population collapse. Not no [ __ ]. because of the jobs they replace. They. the jobs they replace people having no.

desire to take care of kids or have kids. when you can give a robot girlfriend. Yeah, robot girlfriend would be cool. You know, also I think you thought about. you're like, "Yeah, we're all going to. die." Robot girlfriend would be cool. looking nut inside this robot. Yeah, they're going to probably like sell like. their vaginas separately like the actual. cat. A robot girlfriend that you have to. keep alive with [ __ ] The only way it's. the only way to keep her alive. I got. the one. And you got to fill her up. every day or she just gets narcolepsy, she falls asleep. What about meaning?

That's that's a problem I think to have. if we're better at everything. Even. already just songs. Like I write music. just for fun, but like it's a talent. that doesn't matter any more, you know, like uh not doesn't matter, but like. they're they write very good songs. already. Uh AI and then have you seen. art? one of those photos of the entire. Milky Way galaxy and there's a little. dot of the Earth says you are here. Yes. It's very disturbing. And now imagine.

meaning Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The blue dot. It's all us. It's all. subjective. Like meaning is meaning to. us because we think we're super. important. But if we get surpassed by a. superior life form that we actually. create meaning, what does meaning mean. anymore? It doesn't mean anything. anymore if you don't have emotions. If. you're the superior life form and. emotions don't exist anymore because you. don't have a human reward system that's. built in through thousands and thousands. of years of evolution, you need it. A. job just did not have a job but an. identity. Yeah. The sun needs meaning.

That's why it went supernova. It needed. meaning and it just couldn't help it. It. just. like see me. The sun needed to be seen. I felt so unseen as the sun that I had. to blow out a solar flare and kill. everyone's satellites. Yeah, it's meaning is our thing and we decide. that meaning is important, but. objectively for the universe, it's. clearly not. Oh, the universe. No, we. are a tiny little [ __ ] spot in the.

universe. So, like what does meaning. mean? It only means something to us. because we need meaning. What do what do. you suggest people do though if they're. they start to get they don't have like a. job they have to do? The robots do. everything. We had universal income and. you're just like I went on vacation for. three days and I was miserable. Yeah, you have to find something you enjoy. like as humans. But again, this is just. humans with the robot [ __ ] ladies and. you know free food there. There will be. no more babies. The robot [ __ ] ladies. will take care of you. The robot [ __ ].

ladies will they're going to be a real. problem. But the they're going to be a. real problem. It's going to be like. that. Just look at how many incelss just. stay at home now and play video games. Like the the number of men who never. have sex and the number of men who have. no girlfriends is like higher than it's. ever been. Yeah. And then if you like. fall in love with your robot girlfriend. and she's going to be really nice to. you. A robot brothel legal or no? That's you can pay That's what you pay.

for. You pay for a fresh uh silicone. every time or something. Legal though. Ew. Definitely legal. Ew. It's like it's. legal to [ __ ] your car. I think it might. be. It's if it's in the garage. Yeah. Not out in public. Yeah. You can't [ __ ]. your car. You've seen that guy who had. like fell in love with his car. That. video. That's not real. No, no, no, no, no. It's a real thing. Are you sure? And. he let him film him and he kept it. together while the cameras were on him. For real? Yeah. You ever think maybe. they just set that up because it's.

stupid? Well, he he's if he's as good an. actor as Daniel D. Lewis, maybe. This. was very believable. And he tells his. dad and it's people fall in love like. weird [ __ ] It's just like a fetish. thing. This guy fake. This is so fake. This is TLC. I love that. This is like. those people that eat toilet paper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He loves it. Nah, I don't believe it. Look at him. Unless he's got like a real brain. injury. That's good. He got hit by a. line drive when he was sick on this, but. I don't remember. Objecttoilia. Oh boy. Say it's a disease, Joe. These people.

have diseases. I think that's a problem. having too many names for stuff like. narcolepsy, you know. I agree with you. Narcolepsy, we need a name for figure it. out. The people that were saying like. dyslexia, figure it out. Figure it out. Stop falling asleep. Stop reading. backwards. Figure it out. I did feel. dumb, though. I wish I I uh Yeah, they. had that name. So, I have a disease. Yeah. Everybody wants to ADHD. That's a. weird one. People Some people say that's. not a real thing. I if I would grew up. earlier, I would have been diagnosed as.

like on some kind of spectrum. I used to. fly a kite till I I used to fly a kite. till I peed my pants. I just like a good. move. Tongue out like nice way to meet. the ladies. Oh yeah. Hey pants and a. [ __ ] I can't read. Balsa wood. structure fly in the air behind you. Yeah, I just loved it. That's a very. assbery. I think I just Well, look, if. you want things that are extraordinary, you need people that are on the. spectrum. Like that's a fact. That's one. thing we should thank vaccines for. There's a lot.

of fascinating people have come out of. that spectrum. A little lead paint here, a little [ __ ] pesticide there. Touch. it. Oh, next thing you know, you got. some inflammation and some really good. math. We grew up like we're near this. image. I think where this I think the. worst. food like when we were developing the. 70s food was just '8s just the big I. remember just having like that macaroni. and cheese mac microwaved on this like.

plastic tray. Oh yeah. It's just all. chemicals and that was my lunch. Microplastics. Peanut butter and fluff. You ever eat that? Oh that was like. lunch. Yeah. I'm going to have I'm going. to have a marshmallow for lunch. Buffford Nutter sandwich and. Wonderbread, which is also sugar. We ate. garbage. I used to go um play I played. golf like obsessively for a while and I. I would walk 18 holes. I'd have a. Snickers and a Sprite. I walk another 18. holes. I did this day after day um as.

like a I was like big into routine. stuff. That was when I was growing. So I. may have been taller. I just had carrot. You just ate Snickers and SP. By the. way, this was like a country club. It's. not like we weren't like we didn't grow. up like rich, but like my dad like for. like three years we were at this country. club and the food was free. Like you had. to spend like $1,000 a month or whatever. on food and no one else was going. My. dad worked really hard and I was the. only one going and I instead of getting. a lobster every day, right? We had. Snickers. It was like 13-year-old uh.

Kyle. Damn. Yeah. At least you got. peanuts in the Snickers. Got a little. bit of protein. Which isn't even a nut. It's a legume. Aume, by the way. I wish. Snickers were good for you. They're. [ __ ] delicious. It's a great snack to. take when you're hiking. I found one in. my car. I was looking at Lord Sandwich. was a very conversant gambler. What's a. conversant gambling? He's very like he. gambled a lot. He wouldn't leave the. table. Story goes did not take the time. to have a meal during his long hours. playing at the cards table. Consequently, he would ask his servants.

to bring him slices of meat between two. slices of bread. A habit known amongst. his gambling friends. Wow. So, he just. wanted to eat quick, hence the sandwich. Wow. No one thought of that. Oh, I. guess. Yeah, just because he's a. gambling. So, he's a degenerate. gambling. I got my I want to promote my. uh cryptocoin real quick. What is that? That's my merch. Yeah, baby coin. It's Yeah, it's the hot. Yeah, baby coin. Babycoin skyrocketing. Yeah. You ever thought about making a.

coin? It's zero. Anybody can do it now. Anybody. Oh, Joe Rogan coin. That'd be. good. good way to rip people off. Yeah, we thought about doing it, but we're. like, what does it do? What can you buy. with it? How does it work? It's total. gambling. It's Kurt Medford said it. best. He's like, it's in just [ __ ]. gamblers. They're gambling addictions. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's a total That's what. the cryptocoin thing is. It's a bunch of. gambling addicts and they're all. gambling on these meme coins. Yeah. And. they're making money. Some of them are. making money. There's shifty deals and.

pump and dumps. It's really shady, but. it's kind of legal. It's weird. The. whole thing's weird. It is a little bit. of like if you fall for this well you. shouldn't have money kind of thing too. like all right did you really how's that. Trump coin doing. not. good Bitcoin is like oh is it because of. the economy yeah everything else going. on are you paying attention all this. tariff stuff you're not you can't no I. am I actually am very interested in. finance. no I watch videos of finance I watch. finance videos like every night I'm very.

into it yeah I've actually learned so. much because of YouTube because I can. watch the things and I realize I'm. actually interested in a lot of things. Um, yes, I know a I know some just. dropped while we're watching it. [ __ ]. It was actually double. It's dropping. while we're watching. It's dropping. today cuz people are gambling. Jesus. They're buying and selling. So, what is. it worth now? $9.37. And what was it. worth at its height? $80. $80. Wow. $75. Trumpcoin. What did he make off that?

I'm very curious. How does that work? Billion2 billion dollar market cap. two. billion dollars still at $9. So that's. what it's worth now. Does that means all. the Trump coins are worth two billion. bucks? Is that what it means? Collectively. Collectively. So that was. worth like like look at the big spike in. the beginning and then a bunch of people. like sucker. Yeah, that's that is a. total That has to be what happened, right? Like how many people sold like. what did Trump? So there's two How many days is it? Scroll your thing over there. How many.

days do you have? You have hours. You. have hours before a giant drop off. Look. at that. 12 hours. You have 12 hours and. then by Sunday the 19th it drops. radically. Yeah, it already dropped. But. I bet those first 12 hours like you. couldn't like most people couldn't trade. it. But look at that first 12 hours. That is crypto coins. That's meme coins. Not not like Bitcoin, not like Ethereum, but like that is a memecoin. That that. first thing, that explosion, that's what. I expect. It's garbage. That's what I. expect. But I also I support it. Why.

not? Yeah. If you could do that, like. look, if you can go [ __ ] play cards, if you could figure out a way to three. card monty people on the streets of New. York, like, okay, I used to play poker. all the time. I went through a phase. I. actually won the Borgata tournament. I. went a tournament there. I had $6,000 in. my I had lost my luggage on a flight. like weeks before and I'm like, I'm not. going to lose this cash because I, you. know, didn't have too much money. So, I. put I put like 3,000 or something in my. suitcase, but I'm like, I'm going to put. like 3,000 in my pants because I'm not.

going to lose this money. And then I. missed my flight. So, now I slept over. the airport with like giant wads. Wads, but you made it. I made it back. So, why'd you stop playing? Was it too. much? A waste of time. Yeah. Yeah. Like. I actually um really studied and I I you. know was winning didn't make a ton of. money but like I didn't lose you know um. a big amount of money. I think I'm like. probably after playing one million hours.

I'm up like $4. I mean it's like total. waste of my life. Ari was doing it in the early days of. his comedy career. He was making money. doing that. Yeah. That's how he'd make a. living. He'd play in tournaments. Yeah. You can especially in like Vegas like. with people come into um you know. there's having fun you can just be very. disciplined and just you would go to. those uh card casinos that were out in. California like Bellflower. I know. you're talking about bicycle casino. commerce. Yeah. They were like hey Kyle. Kyle's. back there a lot. Huh. But I just I.

stopped. I It's a waste of time. Well. for Ari that was literally how he made a. living when he wasn't making a living. doing comedy yet. Yeah. He was that good. and he's like really dis Ari's very. disciplined organized like he doesn't do. anything stupid. Texas Holdm is all like. just got to fold fold fold fold you know. and just you know really be really. disciplined people just start [ __ ]. around and get drunk and you just yeah. you have to understand how many cards. there are if you have this there's. different guys you see the cards are on. a table you have to do calculations.

there's the math of it and just once you. know that it's like and then it becomes. second nature you know kind of right. away and that is ESP there's yeah read. people's minds knowing their [ __ ]. yeah yeah yeah I went out to Vegas once. and I was I I depressed. I never get. depressed. I'm like, but I situationally. I was like, I'm gonna go just take five. grand. I drove to Vegas like a lunatic. by myself and I just went by yourself. Yeah. What time did you leave the house? No idea. I don't remember. Daytime or. night time though. That's important. because it takes four hours to get.

there. It was like. 5:00 p.m.ish. It was like later. I was. actually about to do a show, a live show. on my YouTube channel. And I I was under. so much stress. you know, I'm just like. editing and writing and then it's just. like all me and and I just was like. gonna, you know, all these character I. just was like really stressed out and I. didn't think the show was good and I'm. like just didn't do it and I just went. this is on top of I was the pandemic I. was so isolated and then it was too much. alone you know kind of thing and uh for.

a lot of people I think yeah I think. that kind of crack a little bit it. cracked quite a few people especially. the most vulnerable amongst us you know. a lot of comedians that are like very. kind of socially awkward already. You. isolate them. Yeah, you're staring at me. pretty hard. Yeah. No, I'm not. Um I'm. not thinking about you at all. I'm just. kidding. But there's some of us that. just like kind of never came back from. it, you know? I haven't had a a steady. girlfriend since. I think maybe I got. weird or something. Did you you feel.

like I don't I think I'm very normal, but I must be Maybe after this show the. calls will start coming in. No, they. won't. Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. We got. bros watching after the Netflix thing. They might, but they wanted I don't. think I'm recognizable. I don't want to. say what you did. I don't think I That. was By the way, we can say this like. what I had was ridiculous. Yes. And it. was like I wanted to take it off. Don't. say anymore cuz we we don't want to give. anything away. Okay. It comes out on. Monday. What time is this? When does.

this come out? This comes out tomorrow. Okay. Yeah. So, we can't do that. Oh, this is good. Actually, people listen to. their call. hang in there. Yeah, it that really is. going to be um like nothing channel. Game changer. Yeah. No, it was. phenomenal. And the show is it's so. real. The show is so real. It's like. seeing people kill, seeing people bomb, seeing people have great moments. It was. Yeah, it was the best thing for comedy. because it gives comics like a It's. there's a real career path now. If you.

could bang out a solid minute on Kill. Tony, you get into the ecosystem. It's. also such a highwire act because you. like in doing a character if you do SNL. it's like I'm sure very nerve-wracking. but this is like SNL you have no script. you got to go like I got to try to make. things funny and when you're dressed up. like a thing. you can't give away don't give it away I. won't say I won't say but but you're. like everything you say they think is. going to be you gota right when it's. gota be a joke but um it was really cool. because right before we went on I'm.

trying I think I said. Um, you can't say [ __ ] No, no, but like. the crowd will get mad, but I don't I. think this we could say the the crowd. didn't know. No, they didn't know it was. going to be crowd know and it was so. exciting when they they found out it was. like gagon when they found out it was. the first ever show on Netflix. They. went nuts. The eruption in the room was. amazing. It was really very pretty. badass. So fun. It's uh and having that. show at this club every week has been. it's incredible. It's just it's so good.

for comedy. Yeah. You um it it worked. out like you I remember when you were. going to go to Austin and I'm like this. this Joe guy doesn't know what he's. doing. I was telling people that this. Joe guy doesn't know what the hell he's. doing and I was wrong. Thank you for. your vote of support. I just I didn't. think I knew what I was doing. I was. like I would I'd bet against me. I' like. good luck doing that. But it was like. all these things had a it's almost like. the universe wanted it to be made. because it couldn't have been made with. just me. It's just like if it was just.

me and some money that you can't make. that club. You need all these pieces. It's like you have to hit every green. light and you could never bank on it. You have to have a pandemic. It has to. get shut down. You have to live in a. ridiculous place like LA where they. won't let the comedy store open for a. [ __ ] year and a half. So people are. unemployed. I can snatch those people. up. I just happen to get a big pile of. money from Spotify. I move to this new. city. A bunch of other guys start moving. to this new city. And then all a sudden. we have like 15 16 top comics living in. the city. Okay, this is why it can work.

Like a bunch of things had Ron White had. already be here. He he kind of lured me. here because before the pandemic, he. moved here and he was telling me how. great it was. I [ __ ] love it. I. [ __ ] love Austin. I was like, really, Texas? I don't know. And I was like, I. don't know if I can live there. But then. when the [ __ ] hit the fan and we started. doing shows in Texas and putting it on. Instagram, then all these guys were. like, "Fuck that. I'm moving to Texas.". And then next thing you know, Sigur is. here. Christina Pazitzki's here. Tim. Dylan's here. It's just like Shane.

Gillis move. It's like it came Duncan. moved here. It just came in this wave. Brian Simpson Brian Simpson was here. early early on. Way before the club. We. were doing shows at the Vulcan and we. were all talking about making a club, but to [ __ ] actually do it is the. weirdest thing. Like when you go there, it's like it's part of this weird. illusion that you're living in. Some. weird [ __ ] bizarre hallucination. you're having. It's like a leap. It's. like a field of dreams. You built it and. then they came. Yeah. Austin is now like.

a comedy town. It's a huge comedy. It's. a huge live performance town already, right? Because there's so much great. music here. There's a lot of vomit, too. A lot of puke. A lot of homeless people. A lot of great drugs. That's what I. hear. I wouldn't know. And um yeah, it's. a When you move in here, I know you hate. the cold of winter. I I I do. And and I. think. uh this is a more inviting environment. for a guy like you anyway. I know I have. family back east, but I don't they can.

move. I don't think they love me. I'm. finding out I don't think they love me. anyway. So they just they just told me. they didn't love me anymore. Yeah. Wow. Which I respect. Care. Huh? Did you say I don't love you. first? No. No. I was like I love you. guys and then they just kind of shake. shook their heads. So I No one visits. me. Take a hint. Huh? Take a hint. Time. to move. I know. I I I think it would my. my career would be better out here. For. sure. For sure. You'll be around more. like-minded people and you get to.

understand the journey of Brian. Holtzman. I need to Yeah. read up on. him. You need to watch him. Yeah. Yep. There's a lot of clubs here, too. That's the beautiful thing about. this place. You can get up anywhere here. in town. There's so many clubs. It's. hopping like every night of the week. Yeah. Your club though uh is better than. and I'm not just saying that cuz I'm. here Joe. I'm not lying to you. But it's. better than the Vulcan. I don't know if. you know the Vulcan. It's a great club. Thank you.

Tough call. Tough call. They probably. get run off from people. Yeah, they have. a lot of great shows there. They have. great shows there all the time. A lot of. the guys from the club do shows over. there. They do it all the time. Yeah. It's like that and then Brian Redband's. room, The Sunset, which is right down. the street. That's only like four or. five doors down and that place is packed. all the time. That place is killer. That. format on Kill Tony is just uh perfect. So great. It's perfect. He's got it. dialed in. It's like a finely oiled.

machine. It's like you or or anybody who. does things for he's been doing it for. years. Yeah. And uh he knows the rhythm. of it. Like imagine like like how people. come up concept of a show and you would. never come up with this. You would never. go, "This is going to work right away. This killed Tony Koreat." Well, it. needed like years and years of. development. This is the thing. Like, they did that show once a week for a. decade. A decade. They never missed an. episode. They did it during the pandemic. with no crowd. Oh, really? Yes. Yes.

They did Kill Tony in the main room with. no crowd. They live streamed it. Oh, right, bro. The whole like they never. let go. They never they like a pitbull. on a sack of nuts. Just clamp and never. let go. And now it's enormous. Like that. episode where um Adam Ray played Joe. Biden and Shane Gillis played uh Trump. I think that has like no way more. I. think it's like 60 million people have.

watched it on YouTube. That's crazy. How. many How many people, Jamie? I think. it's like 25. Done again. Nailed it. I. lied. Wow. I thought it was a lot more. than that. Well, there's probably other. also clips. If you put it together, it's. um maybe that's what it is. Yeah, cuz I. was told it was like 60 million people. watched it. People just know that it's a. high. Maybe it's all of them. But if you. think about all the clips on top of. that, I mean, it's a giant show now. I. think a lot of also there there's only. 25 million. Why did I think it was more? Is there maybe he's adding multiple ones.

where those guys were on together? it. There's some value in having a live show. now which pops more than other because. you can tell that show is improvised. Yes. There's so many moments are awkward. and don't work. It makes even more fun. interesting to watch. Yeah. It's. dangerous. Yeah. It's also super. stressful. But also you with Kill Tony, you're literally getting crazy people. and giving them a microphone for I know. some of those people are out of their. [ __ ] minds. Half of them are.

homeless. Yeah. Yeah. Half of them are. sleeping in their car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of them like drove from Seattle. One guy Well, let's say save the story. But there's Save it like the Larat. story. Just let it s What about that. Larat story? Now's the time. It's the. time. Now's the time. Now's the time. Boy, this better be a good story. Funny. if it's not. Jeez. I think you're going to get your. wish. The story is so on this only thing. I've ever like booked where I where like. sitcom I ever booked where I was like I.

read I did callbacks. It was like four. call backs. Okay. And finally, like I. got a sitcom and it was like a. reoccurring role. It was and I was. played this this guy, this girl's. boyfriend and she like did not find me. I could tell she was like uh cuz we had. a makeout scene that she Yeah. So we go. to the table read, you know, the table. read was like where the network come and. you all sit around and they just laugh. and everyone's having a great time. So, right before our table read, um, they.

go, "Kyle, we got some new lines for. you." About like eight new I like all. new lines and I knew how my reading was. We've talked about that and so I'm. panicking a little like, "Okay, Kyle, just you can do this. Just read. Just. read good, Kyle." I'm thinking in my. head, "Oh my god." So, it's going around. the table. It's like, "Haha, it's. killing." Gets to me my line. I'm like, if if if I go to. the store, then we can get it. And then. death quiet. Then it goes around the.

table. Hilar me. I I found And then. afterwards, I'm like, oh um I think I'm. fired. And it was so much like climbing. a mountain to get this job. And then the. next day, I didn't get a call. They no. one said you're fired. And so I come in. the next. day and uh I'm about to get to the door. and the cast director's like, "Whoop!". And she goes, "You're we're not you're. can you can go home. You we're they're. going to dough a different direction." I. said, "That you can go home. You can go.

home." I had got there and I and she. goes, "But you're going to Iraq. That'll. be cool." She's trying to make small. talk cuz I was going to Iraq like the. next week. Did you stand up? Yeah. USO. tour. Um kind of a hero, I guess. No, no one wanted us to see me. It was. Yeah. So, my my uh You can go home is. the most [ __ ] up way to tell someone. they're go home. Yeah. They're going to. go a different way. Oh, okay. I go home. And then I get to go to Iraq. So, that. was my prize. You should have told them.

you can't read. I should have said I'm. dyslexic. You know, you're so nervous. and you want to be like, I'm not a. problem and I can do it. Yeah. Um but. anyway, shell sucked anyway. Shell. sucked. Did it? Yeah. It was no Sanford. and Sun. Well, I didn't even know about. it until an hour ago. You got that. Nurugum that you just did? No, this is I. stole a. pack or someone got me a pack of Nur. stuff, huh? Well, I you know, I wanted a. little pickme up and I went online. No,

I'm good now. But like I was online and. I I wanted to buy the stuff and try it. and I got scammed. It was like Neutra. Gum, the same packaging as Neurogum. And. then I was like, "This ain't the stuff.". These [ __ ] These. [ __ ] Do you mess around with. neutropics, though? There's a lot of. good ones out there. Neutropics. Yeah, that's what that's what neurop I know. what that word means, but why don't you. tell the audience? It's It's these. things. This is Neuromints. This is the. same company. They make mints. Um, it's. just like neutropics. No, it's like.

theine, caffeine, a bunch of it. It's. essentially nutrients that help brain. function. So, it helps with your memory. It helps with your verbal memory like. the be able to rec you know sometimes. you're searching for a word you can't. find it this stuff helps with that help. you read yeah not just this probably. would pro I think it's just it it helps. it's the building blocks for human. neurotransmitters as it's been explained. to me like there's certain nutrients. that like you know like vitamin D it.

helps muscle synthesis it helps a bunch. of things helps your immune function. there's a bunch of nutrients that do. different things in your body right and. theine is a really good one for memory. Um there's a bunch of uh alpha choline. Um was it alphagpc choline? Is that what. it. is? Acetylcholine. There's a quite a few. different nutrients that have been. identified as to helping brain function. And so the the way I found out about. this stuff there was Bill Romanowski, the football player. He has a company.

He's got really good stuff. It's called. Neuro One. And uh it's like a scoop. You. just mix it in water and blend it up or. whatever and it's uh and I I tried I was. on a radio station in San Francisco and. they gave it to me. I was like this is. great. Where can you get this? Like it. really does like give you a little. pickme up just but not like like five. shots of espresso. You're like ah it's. just like a little edge of focus. Yeah, I could use a little memory um booster. I don't sleep well enough. I'm really uh. going to try to fix that because uh What.

are you going to do to fix it? I'm gonna. You're going to be really proud of me. You ready? Be prepared. I'm going to be. taking I have a jiu-jitsu class on. Monday. My first one. Really? That'll. help you sleep. Probably go to sleep a. bunch of times in class. Yeah. I. actually do not have an a neck for like. a a chokeold kind of sport. I I have I'm. 30% neck. Well, um that's a that is a. large target, but my advice would be. just to take it easy slowly at first. How old are you now? 26. You look great.

I look like [ __ ] for 20 seconds. You. look great. Uh, just go slowly. That's. my advice. Don't try to go too fast, especially if you have been working out. hard. Have you been working out hard? Not. And then no. Yeah. The answer is no. to that. So that means, you know, your. joints are not going to be the most. resilient. Don't don't try to do it all. at once. That's my thing. But that but. that's, by the way, that's with. everything. If like, I'm going to run a. marathon tomorrow. Hey, hey, hey. Have. you ever run before? No, I don't run at. all. Right. Okay. Let's not run a. marathon. Let's let's run a mile. Let's.

do one mile, which is a lot if you. haven't run. A mile is a lot. If you do. not run, a mile is a lot. Yeah. But uh. you can't just run a marathon. And if. you're going to do jiu-jitsu, like start. slow. Don't try to do a two and a half. hour session. I'm going to roll with. five guys today. Like learn an arm bar. Learn how to tap. Okay. This is a triangle. I told them. like, give me the most beginner thing. Oh, they have to do it that way. Everyone's going to do it that way.

Nobody teaches you like flying triangles. the moment you get into the class. They. they teach you beginner stuff like this. is the mount, this is side control, this. is the guard. They teach you like simple. basics. Good for confidence, too, I. hear. Oh, yeah. You can fight. It'll. help a lot. It does. But it also it's. great for stress relief because no. matter what your day is, it will never. be as stressful as some dude mounting. you trying to choke you unconscious. This is now because if you fight that. off and then you you're done with your. class like regular stuff is like.

whatever some crazy homeless guy man. [ __ ] you like [ __ ] you too guy take care. you don't want to you know you don't. even want to be in any you don't have. this desire to puff your chest out like. a lot of people do it's like stop Mhm. Now you're proud of me for doing this. Now you're about to be not proud of me. Ready? Okay. It's girls class. It's all. women's hair. I don't want to get boners. when I'm like I would not want that. You're a woman. You don't You're not. going to get a boner. No. If I'm You're. a woman, Kyle. Don't let anybody ever.

tell you different. Thank you so much. Don't let anyone misidentify. Don't let. anyone deny your humanity. I'm a ma'am. No. What am I not going to get What am I. going to get upset about? I'm also. taking a pickle ball class. I like. pickle ball. You know who plays pickle. ball every day? Wait, only guess 20. questions. The only time I've ever let. you guess. Every time I jump in. I'm gonna say uh uh Duncan Trussell. takes pickle ball. He might, but that's. not who you think of. Kid Rock plays.

pickle ball every day. I love any kind. of like racket ball sport. He goes, "Yeah, every I get up at 8:00 in the. morning. My [ __ ] trainer comes over, play pickle ball." I'm like, "Every. day?" He's like, "Every day?" I love it. I want that kind of money where I can. just pay to come over and play pickle. ball. Yeah, it was a trainer. He's got a. trainer. Probably teaching him. I bet. he's a pickle ball wizard now. He. probably knows how to do the secret. moves, how to slice the ball. I'll I'll. destroy Kid Rock at pickle ball. I'll. destroy that. He's a clown. Whoa. Kid. Rock is a clown. I can't believe you're.

calling him out like this on my show. I'm just saying I don't think he's. president. He brought Bill Maher to the. White House. I have that underwear on. He brought Bill Maher to the White House. and they had dinner with Are we in like. a Mad Libs episode with I hope so. I. hope so. I'm scared of this tariff stuff. because it's radical change. which I'm. scared of radical change. Well, let me. tell you what I think and I don't know. anything. Good. We don't both of us. don't know. This is a perfect time to. speculate about the economy. This is all. his negotiating. It's going to come. down. It's not it's not going to stay.

like this. The bad thing is if all the. other countries go, "Fuck you, America. We're not going to do any. We're not. going to then that's a problem. I think. it's always a possibility. Also, you're. not nearly as charming if people can't. speak your language." Like Trump is used. to being able to charm people. He's very. charming. But if you can't speak his. language might look yeah might be wrong. You're like [ __ ] this orange [ __ ]. You know what I mean? Like you don't I. don't even know this guy. What is he. saying? And someone has to tell you what. he said. Like it's not cute when Boris. Yuvenovich has to translate in your ear. Mr. Putin he says these tariffs. This is.

this [ __ ] It's part of the game. Most horrific thing. It's part of the. card game we are playing all together. globally. He it's like you know the. woman's from like like Poland and she's. like oh you're comedian tell joke. And. you're like, "No, you're not gonna find. this funny. I can't tell you a joke. Joke. Let me tell you first about the. history of my country and suffering." We. Yeah. Let me tell you how many people. stall and starve to death and then you. tell me your cute little [ __ ] joke in.

my wheelage. Yeah, I've had that happen. recently. I was like, I'm not telling. you it's not going to go well. Yeah, that's a tough one. When people ask me. if they don't know who I am genuinely, I. the easiest one to say is I do. commentary for the UFC. Oh, that's good. That's easy because if I say podcast, well, people know you now. I mean, I. Some people don't know me. It's nice. Every now and then I get a person who. doesn't know who I am, like some old. fella. Oh, an old fella. What do you do? Yeah. What do you do, son? I do uh. commentary for the Ultimate Fighting. Championship. And then they look at you.

sideways like, "What?" That's That's. still though could be a conversation. I. Here's what I do on like a plane. I go I. work with computers and they're like, "Oh, that always shuts it down. Finances, too. Yeah, but if I want to. have a conversation with someone, if I. don't mind having a conversation with. them, I just don't want to explain the. whole thing. I forget you do UFC. commentary. That's another great job. That's a job. That's the only job. I. have all the great jobs, but that's the. only job I have. That's that's an actual. job where someone pays me. Like, I show. up, I work for somebody, I'm an.

employee, you know, I have I sign up. Is. there something you want to do that you. haven't done? Are you looking? I'm not. looking to do anything. You have a goal. to do something. Zero goals. Zero goal. What about retiring and traveling the. world? Any retirement ideas? No. Pyramids. You ever see those? I want to. see the pyramids. I do, too. But I think. what's going to happen is you go, "Oh, there they are." And now you're like, "I. don't think so." 20. I've been obsessed. with the pyramids since I was like a. little boy. Can you go in them now at. all? Yes, you can go. Yeah, you can go. in. And if I went, I'd hopefully be able. to get someone to guide me. Like a.

really good person. I could guide you. Could you do it as Caitlyn Jenner. though? Yeah, baby. This is where the. guy died. We filmed that. He was buried. with his dog. Have you seen this whole. controversy? They think that there's. like these enormous structures. This is. I don't know, but there's a guy named. Jimmy Corsetti. He has this great. YouTube show called Bright Insight. He's. been on my show many times. Very smart. guy and very reasonable guy and also is. a huge believer that there's a missing. chapter in ancient history. He doesn't.

believe in it. He he thinks it it. ignores something that everyone knows. There's this enormous water table that's. underneath the pyramids. So, the. pyramids, there's water underneath the. pyramids. And Mr. Beast apparently on. his uh YouTube thing that he did with. the pyramids went into the water. So, they're all in the water splashing. around the water. So, this water table. Yeah. So, underneath the pyramids. there's water that flows and it's been. there stable to me. Yeah. They should. have thought to talk to you before they.

built that 5,000 years ago. Was it five, 10? It's probably more. It's probably a lot more. If I had to. guess, I I think they're wrong. I think. the hieroglyphs that are on the wall. that depict pharaohs leading back to. 30,000 plus years, it's probably. accurate. I really want to know how they. built those. I really I think that's a. those You see some of those stones are. so I don't believe aliens or I don't. believe that happened. I think people. built that. But how did they get some of.

those. stones up there? Well, I was watching. this guy. Here's the answer. I'll tell. you who this guy is because uh shout out. to him because he had a very interesting. take on it. I lot watch a lot of these. like silly YouTube videos that are all. on like ancient history and ancient. civilizations and stuff like that. Um. but this one was really kind of. interesting. Fat people falling down. Um, this guy is uh I'll send it to you. Jamie. His name is Michael Button and he.

had a very good point. Uh, and his point. is that there's this linear path between. like cave person and what we are today. But he's saying but but human beings in. the form that we exist in today have. essentially been around for at least. 315,000 years. And there's all these. large rise high like peaks and dips in. the historical timeline of the. temperature of the earth. And in these. peaks of temperature, you have all this.

growth and change. And then you have ice. ages and you have drop offs and then. there's cataclysms and natural. disasters. And he brings up the volcano. eruption, the Toba volcano eruption. But. what he's essentially saying is human. beings in this form this with the minds. that we have have existed for 300,000. years with capacity but yet only over. the last few thousand years have we seen. all this progress. And he thinks what he.

he's proposing is if there was a super. advanced civilization a 100,000 years. ago there would be almost nothing left. So we're supposing that what we find is. all that's ever been. What he's saying. is if you imagine 200,000 years of. development, of technology, of tools, of. agriculture, all the different things. that could have happened in those. 200,000 years that you could have had an. insanely advanced. society 200,000 years ago and then it.

gets completely wiped out. Then 115 to. 150, depending on who you ask, thousand. years later, you start seeing what we've. seen in the last few hundred years. Okay, I I'm going to push back on on. that. Wouldn't we have wouldn't they. have some metal? No. All they would. have, but he this is what he's talking. about. When you have enormous spans of. time, all you have left is stone. You. have rocks. That's really steel just. disintegrates. It all goes away. It all.

just gets absorbed by the earth. Like. when you you know there's very little. metal that is gonna like any forg like. if you have a knife and you leave that. knife under the ground that just the. earth will erode it you know a few. thousand years it's gone just oh so they. probably had combustion engines. Here. look at steel takes approximately 50 to. 500 years to decompose depending on the. type of and environmental conditions. with stainless steel potentially taking. over a thousand years. So just imagine.

something that's a h 100,000 years old. You got nothing. There's nothing left. And he So he makes this very interesting. argument in this video that I never. considered before. It's just the. timeline of human beings being human. beings. And he's like, what what was it? Why was there this great leap in. technology? And it is completely. possible that there was great leaps. hundreds of thousands of years ago. But. then the question is like what happened. to us? How did we get so far ahead of. all these other creatures? How did we. get so far ahead? I know you talk about.

like we're like this this much smarter. than a the monkey. I mean, oh, we have. most genes. Most most of our genes are. chimpanzeee jeans. Most of them. What. are the things under the pyramids that. are pillars? What What does that do? I. don't know if what they're seeing. See, say some some sort of satellite ground. penetrating. Is it a radar? A type of. radar, Jamie? What are they calling it? Jamie. So they they have these images. These The problem is also these guys are.

Italian. So they're saying it in in. Italian and so I don't know exactly what. they're saying. I'm just reading the. translation. I want to hear their voice. I want to hear if they sound wacky. Everybody is talking in Italian. Sounds. beautiful. But you could say nonsense. [ __ ] with an Italian accent. It sounds. incredible. Yeah. Cuz I don't speak. Italian. Beautiful language. Beautiful. language. So these images that show. these fe look if it's real and that. stuff is under the water table that's. actually even [ __ ] crazier. Explain the collected acoustics from. deep in the ground including seismic.

waves, noise from human activity and. photon interactions to map newly found. shafts and chambers that extend more. than 2,000 ft below the surface. Beyond. said, "These waves were collected by. radar, specifically by analyzing Doppler. centrid abnorm abnormalities, shifts or. distortions in frequency patterns used. to detect underground structures or. changes. However, Professor Lawrence. Conurs, a radar expert at University of. Denver, who specializes in archaeology.

and was not involved in the study, still. raised doubts. He said photon. interactions, this is science fiction, and frequency shifts of what?" said, "We. now have three different energy sources. moving around. Radar, electromagnetic, sound, seismic, and light photons. This. is all gobbly [ __ ] Sounds like he. didn't get invited to the party.". I heard that guy's a. furry. I made that up. I'm sorry, sir. Um, but show me the images of what they. they believe that they've found because. this it's if it is a real thing, if you.

really do have these I mean the 3D. images like they really stepped out of. line and drawing it so I mean so. clearly. Yeah, like that's not what you. see. You're you're honey [ __ ] me. But. they got to dig. But if it is under the. water table, that's even crazier. So if. they're using the water, if the pyramid, there's a guy named Christopher Dunn. that believes that the pyramid is a. gigantic electrical power plant. Oh. yeah, like a Tesla coil kind of thing. The needles. So if they're using the. water for energy and they actually have.

these columns that extend into the. water, that's even crazier. That's an. even more advanced civilization than. just building these columns. Well, we. got to dig. Why don't we dig? Start. digging there. Me and go over there and. get down there. How many shovels you. think we need? Should we be safe? About. four. Yeah, definitely extras. Four for. sure. Couple extras. Jamie's back goes. out if he digs all day though. Jamie's. told me that that golf swing's going to. hurt his back. I'm a little worried. about that. This is a serious golf. swing. You're a little jealous, right?

You're a little jealous. It was I heard. a nice a little jealous. I felt it from. you. a little jealous. Definitely. jealous of his equipment. You heard that. whack and you were like, "Ooh, that's. going far." What's your handicap, Jame? I think people want to know. O, yeah. I. mean, what was yours when you were. playing all the time? Oh, that's a He. diverted me. I won the turn the question. around you. I know. I don't want to be. judged. That's really First of all, this. is not I know it seems like I've bragged. a lot on this show, but this is a fact. I was the um Aspuck Valley Country Club. Junior Golf Champion. So, you're. probably three or four when you were.

there. Maybe better even. No, there was. not a lot. I think there's like five. kids in the contest. But uh what's your. uh now I I'll shoot like a 95. I I was. probably like 80 when I was a kid. So. that's uh like. eightish seven 85 maybe 10. 10 handicap. Is that good, Jamie? Yeah, it's really. good. What's yours? Probably it's 20. 20. Jamie's got a line drive that'll. [ __ ] you up, though. No, I know. I I.

heard a thack in that room. What's the. furthest you've ever driven the ball, Jamie? Uh, I said that wind conditions. come into play there, Joe. I go for. ball. I'm going for ball speed right. now, I think. And I've gotten over 160. before. Dang. But that's only like one. part of the equation. Is that world. class? Oh, yeah. It's pretty high. That's fast as [ __ ] 160 mph. That's. crazy. The other stats with golf, like. most people who play golf don't break a. 100. So like you're already in the top. five 10% or something if you get under. 100. But that's what you're obsessed.

with, right? Sure. I was just trying to. beat my friends. Really? I just got You play for money? Golf? Yeah, for sure. I mean, well, if I. go with most people here, they're only. playing for money. So, Oh, so fun. Yeah. I can't get addicted to that. You You. never You You just didn't like golf? No, I never played it. You never tried it? No. What do you What do you mean? I. never played it. How could you not even. Cuz I'm scared of games. I I get. addicted to games. I don't have any. time. I have my life. This is a big. thing you're admitting now. No, legitimately. What about chess? Do you.

play chess? I love chess. That's the. same thing. Play with me. Are you that. good? Because you're on the spectrum. I lately I've been playing a lot online. I play. But it's like I want to play. Come to the mothership. Tony plays all. the time. He does. Yeah. Tony and Brian. Simpson, they play all the time. Tony's. pretty good. Oh. Oh, I'd love to play. Tonyy's a smart [ __ ] Yeah. He's a. smart [ __ ] He's good. He's good at. chess. He's probably a little spectrum. himself. Yeah, we're all spect. Yeah. to. be that quick with but I uh feel about. chess the same way I chess maybe even. more so because I can play on my. computer anytime I want I can't do that.

I can't have that in my life why not I. mean. listen golf is a such a great Listen I. know I would love it everyone Ron White. loves it Jamie loves it Tony loves it. they love it Tony just started playing. when he moved to Austin he [ __ ] loves. golf I [ __ ] love golf I don't play. much at all but you're just afraid that. you're gonna get too into That's what it. sounds like. Oh, 100%. Yeah. No, I have. like a little switch that goes off and. then I become obsessed with things.

That's That's It used to be It was Well, it's most There's a game right now that. I have it with. It's pool. I play pool. pretty well. I played You don't remember. this, but I played pool with you at your. old studio and I don't think I hit any. balls. Like, I think you just went and. you played pool. I just stood there and. you're just like, "We're done.". You're like, "Game's over." I was like, "Oh, that was fun." That's the [ __ ] up. thing about pool. If if a guy breaks. first, he could just break and run out. 10 10 racks in a row. Pretty rude of. you. I was a guest. I'm rude with pool.

I won't let anybody win. You like two. balls left. I had all my balls and. thing. You could have been like, "Here, you know, just miss a little bit. Let me. go." You don't want that in your life. No, I do. That's all I When I was. younger, I didn't want have a boxing. match like that old guy had. I've hit my head. some kid to [ __ ]. take a beating. That guy didn't have any. fear that he was going to get punched. back. Did you notice? That was way. It was like poorly rigged. There's some. good fake fights online. There's this.

one guy who's a politician in Mexico and. he got like fake muscles. So, he had. like those fake muscles and then he had. a fake fight with the fake muscles and. it's like a super obvious fake fight. You watch you're like, "What the [ __ ] am. I looking at? This is nuts." They have. that giant bicep weird like bulging like. they're oil they they shove oil into. their skin and it makes your like how. does that how bad does that feel? And. they forget to do their legs. They just. look so weird. You got to balance that out. Well,

people get their legs oiled up too. I'm. going to get oiled up and I'm going to. get huge. I'm going to do jiu-jitsu. The. whole my life from here on in my life is. going to change. This is a good place to. do that. Then then you need to move. here. A lot of jiu-jitsu here too. I'm. going to be out here a lot. I think I. really do think I will be out here a. lot. I'm already am here. I've been out. here like four times in the past 3. months. I know. I know. That's what I'm. saying. Just get a [ __ ] place. No one. loves me in New York. Yeah, [ __ ] No one. loves me. That's We love you here. I. mean, I do I do feel more welcomed here. Um, so yeah, there's golf. Golf can get.

me out here. If Tony plays golf Oh, they. all play golf. Everybody plays golf out. here. All right, you're in. I have to go. to the bathroom so bad. Let's wrap this. [ __ ] up. I can't concentrate. I can see it in. your face. I have to pee so bad. I know. It's the worst. You can't form. sentences. Okay, we'll wrap it up. Um, tell everybody how they can find you. Get my cryptocoin at no kyle.com. I'm on. tour. Boston, Vermont, um, Philly, Vegas. Um, and Instagram. There it is.

Live dates. Kyle again. That's with. that. Look at that pick. That's your um. Oh, that's my flamethrower. That's. Elon's not a flamethrower. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um, and your Instagram is. Kyle uh Instagram is Kyle Don. And you. may or may not be the star of Monday. Night's Kill Tony. May or may not. You. don't know. Ladies and gentlemen, Carl. Dunigan. Thank you. Thank you, brother. That was fun. Bye, everybody. [Applause]. [Music]. [Applause].

[Music].