Joe Rogan Experience #2290 - Michael Kosta

Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe. Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan. podcast by night all. day yes sir Michael good to see you my. friend you thanks for having me and. really appreciate you showing me around. wow what a space you you've created man. thank you that's so cool keeps going I. was excited to show you the picture of. my sauna and then you show me you got an. archery it's so cool man thank you it's.

fun we were just singing John Stewart's. Praises uh before this started but I'm. so happy he's back at The Daily Show and. I'm so happy he makes fun of everything. and I'm so happy he still makes dick. jokes yeah you know it's fun it's like. The Daily Show seems like The Daily Show. again like that guy's a very unique dude. very unique person and one of the most. important like pieces to like unify. everybody he's reasonable like he gets. the whole big picture like let's stop. being so [ __ ] ridiculously tribal.

in the morning meeting he'll come in and. we're all sitting there the writers and. he just kind of shuts the door behind. him and we start talking but it's it's. it's like a it's like a conversation. with a college professor but he's in. charge and it's beautiful all sides this. I disagree with that what about this and. it's like oh wow it's it's really fun to. be a part of and then someone will yell. out a dick joke and then that joke will. make it to the show too you know it's. like smart things and dumb things that's. that's beautiful well he's never. abandoned being a real comic correct you.

know which is what got him to the dance. in the first place so he's always always. has that those instincts and he's the. very best at like holding a line and. like making something like even more. Preposterous just with a facial. expression and pointing out like these. [ __ ] unbelievably ridiculous in your-. face hypocrisies that we see every day. from both sides yeah from both sides. have you have you ever done standup with. him oh yeah we've done stuff together. like back in the day.

yeah God I can't remember the last time. I was supposed to do something with him. at one of Dave's things that that he was. doing outside back in the day but I. never W up doing it but I definitely did. stand up with him in the clubs back in. New York and I knew him way way back in. the day was he was on MTV yeah I. remember that and I think I remember one. of his books was. called naked pictures of famous people. which which is great he's a solid guy. like he's a solid guy agree with him but.

I don't always agree with every I don't. even agree with me isn't that good I. mean isn't isn't that the point of this. it's like you want a couple people to be. mad sometimes I also think we all as. human beings need to be divorced from. our ideas okay your ideas are not you. you are you and ideas are things that. you should consider right ideas are. something that you should I mean if it's. going to have some sort of a real. physical impact on your life and your. family and your family's life for people. you care about I understand I understand. why you get connected to things like. that but for the most part most of these.

I ideas don't affect you a lot of them. don't and yet we're so ideologically. captured that we fight for these ideas. as if it's our very nature you're you're. talking about your essence as a human. being and it's stupid this reminds me of. a time I left my jokebook on a train in. New York and in the joke book I have. this book is important to me call me if. you get this you know and this guy texts. me and he says I have this joke book and.

you know talk about your ideas the joke. book is the most unfiltered dumb idea. ever oh yeah that's the beauty of it. yeah and I I said man I'm sure he's. reading it why you know you're going to. read it you're going to read a strangers. jokebook and I connected with him he was. very kind he gave it to me but he kind. of looked at me like are you a comedian. type thing and I said yeah but it's. terrifying when that idea gets attached. to you when it was just a fleeting aidea.

right yeah the the jokebook idea is the. best example of that right because most. of what you write is [ __ ] which took me. forever to figure out I was like God I. just write [ __ ] and then every now and. then a gem like oo and then you extract. the gem but I realized afterwards you. it's basically like gold mining most of. the time you're not finding gold you're. finding garbage and you only get to gold. by going through garbage yeah sometimes. I'll do a show and it's terrible new. joke show but then the next day the. thing happens and I think oh that's.

because I was digging all day yesterday. yeah it's the Muse right you have to. show up and and request the muses love I. like that yeah I mean do you ever read. uh pressfield's war of art no it's. really we have a stack of them out there. give you a copy of it it's a small book. easy read Jay Larson comedian in La. recommended that book to me 10 years ago. and and I never tackled it it's really. good I used to I used to have a stack of. them in the studio where I'd give out to. guests cuz so many Comics I was like is. what you need what's the essence I will.

read it what's also you know what keeps. freaking me out there's a shooting star. above my head yeah there is yeah every. now and then one will fly above your. head uh what's the essence the the the. war of art that makes it sound like it's. a struggle to create art yeah it's the. struggle against resistance which is. procrastination which is this thing that. we all do before we actually write which. is so weird because I love when I'm. actually locked in and great ideas are. coming it's one of the best feelings in. the world world like it's like somehow.

or another you're pulling these ideas. out of nowhere and then it's your job to. take this seed and try to go plant it on. stage and try to water it and try to. over the course of many months it'll. become a great bit and they just only. come if you sit there they only come if. you sit there and what he is saying is. that you have to treat it like you're a. professional and you have to decide at. 8:00 a.m. I will show up and I will be. there for 3 hours I will shut my phone. off I will lock in this is what I do. because am a professional and you.

literally make a prayer to the Muse you. you offer yourself to the Muse you say. I'm here to work I'm here to gather. ideas I'm here to be creative and to be. open and you treat it that way whether. or not the Muse is real or not right. that's kind of right you can get hung up. on that but if you treat it like it's. real it works I I love that and I don't. do that in early in my comedy care. career I would go to the coffee shop at.

this time and start typing and i' have. all these and I remember Tommy at The. Comedy Store he would say every time I. see you you have new bits and I would go. yeah cuz I'm go and now it's crazy life. has gotten crazier I don't make time for. myself to do that but I need to honor. the Muse man I like that I my move is. when everyone's asleep in my house okay. cuz I still I get up pretty early for a. comic yeah you know I'm up by 8 almost. every day Comics are unreal with that.

right but that means that I can go to. bed at 1 and still get 7 hours of sleep. so that's what I do so when everybody in. my house kind of goes to bed early my. kids go to school my wife goes a bit. early so when everyone's asleep it's. just me and the dog yeah you know and. either we're watching YouTube or I'm. writing and I that's when I get my best. work done you write by hand no I I type. you type yeah I feel like uh I can't. write fast enough by hand I need what I. like about uh typing is that I don't. have to look at the keys I know how to.

type so I can make a letter I can make a. word very quickly I can like and I can. like Zone in to it but what I really. like is a keyboard that I can feel like. I need travel in my keys yeah you know. and these clickity clickity clicke. little MacBook key those are [ __ ]. what you want is a keyboard that you. don't have to look at because it's got. like little divots where you finger sit. so I use a ThinkPad and thinkpads have. the best keyboards they have travel each.

one has like a couple of millimeters of. travel so it's clickity clickity click. so my fingers know exactly where to go. and I can just get into the Zone you're. zoning right now yeah but that's how I. do it like I have like a whole thing. like the laptop that I write on it's not. connect it has no apps it never goes. anywhere it doesn't get email it does I. only allow myself to use the Bing search. engine to find out if what what the cuz. most of the time if I'm writing about. something like you know when was this. discovered what happened here who.

figured that out it's normal facts. daylight savings is coming so we're. about to lose an hour and that means. trying to speed up your morning but if. you drink ag1 maybe you're fine with it. it's that quick and easy to help your. body feel great every day starting your. day with ag1 can help you shake off the. grogginess get back into your Rhythm and. even give you the Boost you need to make. the most of that extra hour of sunlight. maybe even turning you into the morning. person you've always wanted to be ag1. rules I drank it for a long time now and.

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five free travel packs in your first box. so make sure you check out drink a1.com. Joe Rogan that's drink a1.com Joo Rogan. that's a trap for me frequently I'll. start typing I was working on a bit. recently that all of these amazing men. these explorers these Achievers the idea. was because I found out that Sir Edmund. Hillary the Mount Everest's uh first man. to clam ever.

he had like nine kids or something and. the idea of the joke was I don't even. think he likes climbing mountains I. don't even think he enjoys Outdoors it's. that he's trying to get away from his. family so then I looked up Roger. Bannister the guy who who uh broke the. four-minute mile he had like seven kids. I'm like I don't even think he likes. writing he's just trying to run away. from his family but I remember writing. that bit it's a funny bit there might. there might have been an Elon thing. there he has a lot of kids going to Mars. whatever there there's other stuff um. but I would keep getting sidetracked by. these Google right i' start typing a bit.

now I'm on serman Hillary's Wikipedia. page now I'm click and I'm gone and. that's a trap that's tricky it's. procrastination it really is and you can. get locked in so the discipline is to is. to keep it stay on the bit CA I would. play this stupid game with myself was. like I'll just go on YouTube real quick. and see if I get inspired by anything. before I write and then I'm watching two. hours of muscle car builds right. right watching people turn their Land. Cruiser into an off-road vehicle like.

come on I would do I would do motorcycle. handlebars you know I would I would find. my motorcycle and then there would be. like that's amaz it's 20 different. handlebar builds and stuff what kind of. motorcycle did you drive I have a uh. Triumph bonnaville 2011 it's in a it's. in storage in Pennsylvania now I take it. out in the summer a lot but in La that's. all that was what I used all the time. you ride a motorcycle in La I did. forever you know my wife doesn't really.

you know we have a family now but in PA. I I ride it a lot um and there it's deer. man they're very you know that's the. scary thing there they get very close. they're not afraid of cars or Motor. Vehicles at this point well there's a. time between like September is to like. December is where they're [ __ ]. because they're horny you know once it. starts getting warm out they start. getting goofy and then when you get cold. like around November that's when it. really kicks in like if you're in. Pennsylvania Iowa oh my God I visited my.

friend John in Iowa and I'm driving down. the road and every 15 seconds you're. slamming on your brakes because. something's darting near the road. they're all over the place so they're. horny and looking yes right they're also. getting chased so the Bucks are chasing. the females and the females just running. out into traffic and the Bucks are. falling them bang bang I mean this is. like men at night oh yeah yeah much. Street where my club. is don't drive fast that's why the road. is closed in the weekends they don't. want people driving down Sixth Street.

with all these horny idiots I love that. they closed that though that's good I. didn't know that it is great um but it. what scares me is like what happened in. New Orleans where they they have these. roads where only people walk down and. everyone knows it and this psycho. decides to kill a bunch of people it's. crazy that you have to think that way. but I mean there should be some sort of. retractable post that they can pull up. wasn't there for that one and it didn't. it wasn't up it wasn't up yeah in New. York York you know it's a big concrete.

slab I was in France last year uh and. they had these huge flower pots with. beautiful flowers in it and I said you. know this is the New York version is a. huge concrete slab that says NYPD on it. and this is the French version which was. this enormous beautiful flower pie well. that's now that's serving a function and. also beautiful yeah well the French know. how to do things right they do it yeah. they they party they know how to party. they drink a lot of wine they stay thin. somehow or another which is odd like I.

hope RFK Jr figures that. out want to know how the Italians are so. th all the time I go to Italy and it. it's also like the standard cliche but. it is true you go there you can eat the. food and it doesn't affect you the same. way it's like what and we don't even. think twice about it we come back here. and still order pizza and still feel. like [ __ ] if I eat a pizza here I feel. so bloated I ate a pizza in Italy last. summer and I I ate the whole pizza too A. whole Margarita Pizza I ate the whole. [ __ ] thing and I was like I just. would just resign myself to like the.

thud of it hitting my digestive tract. and like feeling like I'm on drama mean. just like I resigned myself I'm like I'm. eating pizza [ __ ] I'm I'm let's just. do it nothing never came right never. came ate a whole pizza I was like this. the rest of the day I was like this is. crazy I'm not even like sludgy bris. brisket crushes me oh Terry blacks put. you down son I mean I mean I had I was. in Houston Steve Burn was at the other. club you to get lunch yeah of course we.

go get brisket I went back toot I slept. for like three and a half hours I mean. it is very you have sides though I don't. I don't remember what I bet you had size. you think it was the size that did yeah. I think it's mostly um the starches and. you know the the carbs it's most like. macaroni salad fatty delicious meat so. good yeah yeah Terry Black's in town is. my favorite oh my they have a beef rib. that is the most Preposterous thing you. pick the bone up and the rib slide es. off the bone I mean and when you slice.

into it it's just juicy fatty. SMY why is the meat falling off the bone. such an important so tender it means. it's been slow cooked perfectly they. have a thing where you want your brisket. to fold but not break so they take a. slice of brisket and they put it over. their hand and if it breaks off you. [ __ ] up you made a mushy brisket but. you want it where it's just folding you. know like a thick cloth there's there's. a life metaphor there too brisket you. want it right out too you want it like.

right after they slice it you don't want. to wait on brisket you want to eat it. right you don't want to eat it before. it's well you want to eat it while it's. still warm look at that see the F that. guy got on his finger that's a that's a. perfectly cooked brisket right there. dude I learned every time I'm here I. learn I remember last time dude. we we were talking Italian Billiards I. didn't even realize it was a different. Billiards oh they have a bunch of. different yeah but I mean uh that's. funny I never had any idea about that. brisket but. you know it was all originally.

Germans that they would do the brisket. stuff Germans who came over through. Texas like Fredericksburg is one of the. hubs of it it's all a bunch of Germans. who came over here and they made smok. sausages and so they came over here and. the brisket became a thing because. brisket was not a choice cut it was a a. thing that they would throw away like. you wanted steaks you wanted a T-bone. you want so they would take the brisket. and they just figured out like if you. just slowly cook it you render it down. and break down all the toughness of it.

and at the end you have this delicious. tender. smoked Perfection that puts me to sleep. they know how to do it here man they. they make the best [ __ ] brisket on. earth right here uh Terry blacks. Franklin's La Barbecue there's like a. bunch of spots in town yeah was it QB. barbecues that's the Egyptian joint that. I went to with um with uh Action Bronson. that place was oh man having a meal with. him would be super fun KB kg kg kg. barbecue so this gentleman came from. Egypt and uh he was uh like a finance.

guy I think in Egypt just working a. regular job came over here fell in love. with brisket decided to just open up his. own barbecue shop and so this guy makes. these incredible recipes with like. Egyptian and and Middle Eastern spices. Jes but with Texas barbecue oh my God it. was so good it was so good and he's. blowing up now it's just super nice guy. too yeah like I love when someone does.

that it's like [ __ ] this job I'm I'm I'm. doing I'm want you know what I want to. do I I want to feed people I want to. make brisket awesome brisket I want to. make a food truck and this guy it. becomes so popular so quickly that this. guy has like a real business now and. he's got a restaurant he's opening up a. second one I believe that was my. favorite part of living in Los Angeles. it's easy to make fun of La for good. reason but for the most part A lot of. people were betting on themselves and a. talent they had yeah not everyone's but. I do love that I always appreciated that.

yeah I like living in a place where. people are definitely going for. something and Taking Chances yeah the. problem with LA is it also becomes. attached with uh what is the engine that. gets you to where you want to go and. sometimes that engine is like pure. narcissism yeah or fame if that's the. goal most of the time it's Fame which. fuels the narcissism but um I think a. more interesting question. is how do we find the thing that we're. meant to do that Egyptian Finance man.

found that brisket is his calling that's. fascinating in his 30s in his 30s with a. career right right with a career making. money having healthare still decided to. give Liv in Egypt by the way it's not. even close to Austin Texas and he comes. here not he doesn't just decide to make. barbecue he decides to make barbecue in. the home of barbecue the place yeah he's. like [ __ ] it if you want to learn. Jiu-Jitsu go to Brazil yeah he just he. went right to the heart of it all I. remember I was coaching tennis at. University of Michigan I was making. 31,000 a year and I go I think I can.

make this in comedy if I'm going to get. paid like [ __ ] let me at least do what I. want so of course the first year I left. first year I did comedy I made whatever. $6,000 or whatever but I think often how. much harder that would have been if I. was making 100 Grand right you know it's. it's because I was poor let's be poor. and pick the thing I want to be doing oh. 100% but that's the thing about youth. youth is filled with if you're 47 years. old and you decide that you need to. change careers you're going to be a folk.

singer and you have a family like what. are you talking about you have a Volvo. you have a [ __ ] mortgage you idiot. like you have to go to work you have to. go to work if you're going to make folk. songs you're going to make them on the. two hours you have for yourself on the. weekend when everybody else is out of. the house you don't have any time for. that what is it true that Rodney. Dangerfield found comedy so late like. that well Rody did comedy and then quit. but kept writing and was selling. aluminum siding right I remember that. story remade it when he was like 46.

that's [ __ ] awesome story yeah how. about Shimmel Shimmel didn't even start. he was 36 which I thought was crazy I. remember when I heard cuz I was a giant. shimel fan okay and then when I had. heard that he started when he was 36 I. was like what I didn't think you could. do that I thought you had to start when. you were like 21 yeah or you had no. chance I remember starting at 27 and. wondering if it was too late right is. that crazy EXA or maybe it was 25 I. forget started at 27 because when I was.

21 I was such a [ __ ] I just had no. opinions on anything so all my jokes. were basically about sex it like sex and. relationships where were you at age 21. Boston Boston okay you that's right you. were in I was going to say cuz you were. at least in a good comedy scene you. could see good comedy great comedy scene. yeah you talked about that it was the. best comedy scene it was the best comedy. scene because it was a comedy scene that. had worldclass comedians that the rest. of the country didn't know about right. so was cheat code it was like you're in. a gym and you're sparring with world.

class Fighters like World Championship. caliber Fighters that the rest of the. world hasn't seen yet right and that. emerges sometimes in fight gyms like you. have a bunch of like Elite Fighters and. then all of a sudden there's three world. champions in this gym like two years. later that's what it was like in Boston. because there was these guys that were. the Steve Sweeny and the Don Gavins who. are as good as anybody that's ever done. comedy and no one knew who they were. outside of Boston and you get to see. them every night just murdering were was. their drive to get out no it was to make.

money stay there uh do Coke and play. golf. yeah those guys partan they probably. figur I mean I remember the documentary. about Boston comedy where they said they. would pay comics and Coke they were it. was a totally different kind of comedian. they were these big football player. looking men who were Rowdy who partied. all the time they were all Heavy. drinkers they all played golf they were. all animals and they would go on St and. obliterate when I say obliterate I mean.

these guys would go on stage with a. drink in their hand and they had a. [ __ ] act that was his hammered as a. samurai sword it was polished and they. would just Fu from the paws they would. take to the eyebrow raise all everything. and a lot of it was like local. references like local Boston stuff and. these they would bury these out of town. comedians I saw bury Billy Crystal one. night bury him bury death death Satan. was was nipping at his heels and. dragging him down into The Nether world.

it was horrible he was in Hell uh I feel. like when I started comedy drinking was. still big it was big now I meet all the. young comics and everybody's sober or. they're thinking more about all the. different facets but when I started. there wasn't YouTube yet right Comics. talk [ __ ] in the Green Room a lot. terrible y uh I went and did yuck yucks. in Vancouver recently in The Green Room. there's a sign up that says we don't. harass people in The Green Room and I'm. like this is different this is different.

you know well Canada's just on another. level with their wokeness can's on. another level but um come back to us. Canada I I remember come back driving. down the road in Vancouver and there's. all these people just lining up and I go. what's going on and said oh well they're. lining up for the bus that's about to. come and I'm like now that's that is. that's Canadian I mean like they're so. polite they're waiting they know where. the bus will be and they're lining up. that is not how it work in Brooklyn and. then before they get on the bus they.

give their land. acknowledgement before they step on the. bus uh do you think that comedy with the. Polish the local I mean it feels like. comedy's taking a different turn now now. it's if a bid is kind of working we post. it it's up it's not polished and I miss. some of that some of that I miss some of. that there's some of that but there's. still guys you know like Louie who don't. do that and atel doesn't do that it's I. get for young guys coming up it's a very.

good way to develop an audience like. there's guys that have a clip the clip. goes viral on Tik Tok all of a sudden. they're selling out shows everywhere. like a guy like Ralph Barbosa it's funny. guy gets a funny bit it gets put up bam. all of a sudden he's headlining all over. the country and it happened to him like. that he was opening for me in Dallas. before any of that and you know you. always watch the opener and normally I. watch the opener like this like God this. is just is this is this what I have to. go up after why didn't I bring my own. guy you know whatever and I'm sitting in.

the green room and I'm going oh that's a. good bit oh that's a fun oh crowd's. going I'm going this this guy's got it. yeah and then six months later I was. like watching his special right or it. wasn't maybe a year later but yeah I. mean that's that that's a great example. he's he's funny dude yeah yeah it's a. great example what can be done with. social media today you know and then. there's these guys there's a lot of bad. ones too like from Kill Tony where they. do one minute and a lot of these one. minute Clips get put into reals and then.

these guys are getting huge responses. for this and now they're doing the. killers of kill Tony where they're. selling out these huge places so it's. it's amazing what can be done but but. they don't have an act they don't some. of them do like Ari Matty's 12 years in. you know he was doing standup in. Australia I actually work with him in. Australia in like. 26 I think okay somewhere around then. 2015 somewhere around then um so AR has. been at it for a long time so he's. really good he's a really solid comic so.

he's like headlining now because of this. and like right but there's guys that are. in it four or five years and they don't. really have an act yet but they have a. couple of good jokes but they'll figure. it out they'll figure it out they'll. figure it out but you don't want to. figure all of it out on video in front. of the whole world that's what it is now. I'm so thankful that as soon as I could. I posted my first set on the internet. but that that was seven years in it. didn't even you couldn't even do it. right right have done it too soon I mean. it still was too soon but but it's okay.

you know look you go back and watch my. first episodes of this podcast they were. [ __ ] terrible right I encourage. everybody go back and watch them they're. dog [ __ ] nobody would watch where does. one watch the first I bet they're on. YouTube they're on everywhere they're. somewhere it's everywhere but like when. we first started doing it I mean there. was no production value it suck I was. boring you know and then you figure out. how to do it it's like standup it's. everything else go back and watch. someone's first amateur fight they they. look terrible make mistakes it is very. beautiful to watch.

um people get better at stuff yeah. there's a a female tennis player right. now named uh andreeva I forget how to. pronounce her first name but I just. watched her at Indian Wales and I saw. her four years ago at the French Open. everyone was saying watching want to. watch andreeva and I'm like this is a. child that doesn't know how to play the. sport why are we talking about her I. watched your last week an absolute. nightmare of a beast you know you know. hitting the ball the movement her shape.

and it was like oh every day she got. better for for and to see that was nuts. and I always go back and watch old oh my. God Novak jovic's first Grand Slam when. he's got like the worst haircut in the. baggy shirt and the backhand was looking. different now just it's just amazing to. see how these athletes evolve and I'm. sure it's the same for Fighters and you. mentioned it was I love seeing that. tennis is like all things right it's you. when you really do it then you can truly. appreciate people who are great yes like.

there's there's so many things that are. like like in martial arts it's a big. like especially when things go to the. ground a lot of times people don't. understand how difficult a specific. maneuver is like how he did that how he. baited him with and then you have to. like well there's certain things I watch. I'm like oh my God does everybody. appreciate this that was insane that. language it's it's a language and if you. don't speak the I mean when right I. don't speak MMA language but that's. where good commentators come in you oh. they're excited for a reason yeah that.

that was something that we don't see. very often and that helps me I assume. that's how it works for tennis people. that aren't or for non-tennis people. when they watching tennis cuz oh I'm. sure but I think only a person like you. who is a professional could appreciate. the technique and involved and like the. changing of jovic's backing all that I. mean I I pause it I make my wife come. into the living room and I say watch. this and she'll watch and she'll go that. that was good I go are you even seeing. what he did he did a short slice to pull. him in and then he went and it's like.

but it's a language that I speak and. this is life man picking these little. things we have that we get passionate. about is just awesome and as I've gotten. older I've I used to shy away from. tennis a little bit it's an Elite Sport. it's got its own history and now I'm. just like I [ __ ] love it I love that. I'm good at it I love that I know it. it's fun the pushed you away from tennis. no no the Ws did sounds like it was a. little too Elite it was a little too uh. Country Club little too segregated. definitely is is those things um no I.

think what happen it doesn't have to be. it doesn't have to be and that's why. Serena Serena and Venus were such a a. fun uh [ __ ] up to the sport do you know. the Freeway Ricky Ross story no Freeway. Ricky Ross was a guy who you know Rick. Ross the rapper yes he named himself. after a famous cocaine dealer in in Los. Angeles called Freeway Ricky Ross okay. Freeway Ricky Ross was selling cocaine. unbeknown to him for the CIA to fund the. contas versus the San. okay yeah so this is the Cocaine Cowboy.

type stuff isn't it type stuff but this. was about Oliver North this was all. about funneling money into the the the. war um he was a tennis player like an. elite tennis player couldn't even read. couldn't read yes and was uh this really. good tennis player who uh that was like. What He his hope for a. scholarship gets involved starts selling. cocaine starts selling a lot of cocaine. doesn't know how he's so successful. because he's working with the CIA CIA is. helping him Goes to Jail learns how to.

read when he's in jail becomes a lawyer. in jail gets himself off because they. tried him on three strikes but they did. it for one incident so they did it. incorrectly and so he gets out of jail. so incarceration educated him to the. point where he got himself out but is. origins or as a tennis player as a. tennis player he's a tennis player like. a really good tennis player you know. Menendez brothers excellent tennis. players one of them played at UCLA maybe. not the best. example one guy I'm talking about a guy. from South Central LA who can't read.

true uh just to say it's not necessarily. an sport it doesn't have to be it's just. a sport I agree and all you need is a. court you mean it seems pretty cheap you. need a flat surface a tennis racket and. a ball like let's go the kids that were. beating me when I was a pro played on a. dirt court with a rope tied between two. sticks these these South American and. Russian player is it was not a money. sport it was not a sport of money it was. a sport of movement comp competition and.

because there's no. clock you can have as much time as you. want to figure out and beat down your. opponent so that gets a certain type of. athlete you know I I think it was Jimmy. Connor who said I didn't lose I just I. just ran out of time in that match I. would have I would have figured it out. but unfortunately he beat me um yeah. what happened with me I was I was was. trying to be a stand-up comic that I was. trying to so badly that I was trying to.

remove the athletic stigma even now you. sometimes say tennis and people kind of. back up but as I got better at comedy. and more confident in my abilities I. said why am I shying away from the sport. that I love and that is such a. foundational part of me isn't that weird. that you felt like you had to move away. from Athletics in order to fit in in. comedy that's probably a more succinct. way to say it and the new book that's. out right now lucky loser is all about. how. I'm now embracing this tennis because it.

gave me all the skills to actually be. good in comedy of course yeah yeah. discipline realizing like the tennis. player that you were talking about that. if you do put in the work over time the. results will pay off and you'll see it. and you're alone yeah figure that [ __ ]. out by yourself you're alone and you're. going to have no teammates success and. failure when I was when I was 8 years. old I lost in the finals of the an arbor. Jr open and I realized I was going to. lose and I started crying on the court. and my older brother runs on the court.

and holds me like a child I'm I'm crying. there's a picture of that in the book. now as a parent I'm going who the [ __ ]. took that picture right I'm just a kid. crying and my brother's holding me is my. parents taking that picture they did it. for the gr it for the gr but man as a. comic holy [ __ ] we've all felt like that. oh man it's so personal when you when. you fail as a comic so well it's. important to learn how to lose at things. and everything if you marry your high. school sweetheart you guys never broke.

up and that's you probably missed out. me congratulations on achieving the most. difficult thing humanly possible that. everybody admires right when you meet a. couple and like uh I have two friends of. M that have actually been dating since. they were like 16 years old and now. they're married with kids in their 40s. congratulations but I think there's some. value in getting your ass kicked I think. there's some value in a girl saying no I. don't like you like no you don't like me.

you know I think it's good getting. dumped is good I think all that's. valuable I think you have to learn and I. don't think you learn by winning all the. time and I don't think you learn if. something's easy which is why really. handsome and really beautiful people are. often ridiculous in the way they behave. true because they have five Aces and you. know and they didn't earn them they were. just born with five Aces so how do you. instill grit. toughness in a generation as a parent I. see my 5-year-old struggling I often.

times pop in let me get that for you you. know she's trying to little things. trying to do the buttons on her shirt. that's we we got to you know and I do it. for her and I think I shouldn't do it. for her she should be struggling to do. this but this is a big issue right now. right the younger generation you hear. that word grit how do we instill that. well Sports is a great way to do it it. doesn't work with everybody cuz some. people play sports and they come out. even CER you yeah they come out more. aggressive or more competitive or more. psychotic in their Pursuits and it just. like alienates everything else in their. life or it creates trauma for them not.

real you know trauma but or real trauma. [ __ ] head trauma if you're playing. football yeah yeah there's I think. difficult things are important for kids. it doesn't necessarily have to be that. it could be art it could be music it. could be something but I think there's. something when you put your attention to. something and realize you can get better. at this thing and you find yourself in. that thing and you find your potential. in that thing that you focus on it. doesn't have to it's not necessarily. that it has to Define you because often. times it does unfortunately when people.

are really good at a thing it becomes. the whole essence of who they are as a. person but it's a valuable tool for. elevating your human potential and it's. also a way that you can quantify effort. versus results and you can do that in. sports and games and in think chess and. and art and things that are difficult. like you can say like I am so much. better at playing guitar now because. I've been playing three hours a day for. six months and look at what I can do now. so I know that there's a thing and it.

teaches you that if there's a thing that. you really love and you focus on it that. thing if someone does it for a living. why can't you yeah why can't you yeah. why do I have to be in this [ __ ]. [ __ ] office in this cubicle with. these stupid papers that I don't give a. [ __ ] about that I have to fill out for. this company that I don't give a [ __ ]. about this episode is brought to you by. LifeLock tax season is already stressful. you shouldn't have to worry about. identity theft on top of everything else. and trust me it's a big worry especially.

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year call 1 800 LifeLock and use the. promo code Joe Rogan or go to. lifelock.com Joo Rogan for 40% off terms. apply. I I agree with you some things we will. improve upon faster based on our natural. abilities I loved the way DJs used to. seamlessly transfer one song to the. other. beat matching whatever that was called I.

I got two asked for two turntables for. Christmas I I obsessed over it I [ __ ]. sucked at it dude I can't I couldn't do. it I I mean I I I tried so hard and then. I'm thinking I pick up this tennis. racket and it all kind of clicks very. quickly well you have a good frame for. tennis first of all thank you so you're. you're tall and long which really helps. you could reach stuff that other people. can't reach you think I you don't think. I don't have a good frame for DJing like. you have like a foot more. look how much wider your AR my arms are.

pretty long and yours are like a foot. more dude if Pete sess did this the. greatest server oh yeah I mean his I. mean he don't they say that this is the. same height I think so I think they say. that this is your height also it's not. really I mean that's your wings spare. well I always heard that from here to. here is your foot I saw that a pretty. woman from here to here is your. foot but I mean Pete Pete had like extra. length and people go how did he get the. pop on the serve it's like those torque. like Tommy Hearns with his punches Tommy.

Hearns was so long and tall like Deontay. Wilder is another example those Long. Tall guys when you have this torque like. you ever see Deontay Wilder no he's. arguably the greatest one punch knockout. artist in the history of the heavyweight. division at one point in time he was. like what is deon's record I think it's. like 40 and he's had a few losses. recently but at one point in time he had. like 39 Knockouts out of 40 fights Jesus.

which is insane and these are. professional fighters he's knocking not. he he's under siiz for the heavyweight. division when he fought Tyson Fury Tyson. Fury was like 260 he was. 209 209 you made it to 40 and0 40 and0. and 39 of those 40 were knockout knock. look at everybody knockout. TKO TKO KO he knocked out every body he. not get the Lewis Ortiz fight show him.

the Lewis Ortiz fight forgive forgive. this extremely ignorant question when. you say knockout that means like flat. the guy's done that's that's not like. the ref calls it that's TKO is the ref. calls it knockout is like it's over like. you got Flatline and these are guys that. know how to take hits Elite guys well. this guy Lis Ortiz was on the Cuban. Olympic team he's a [ __ ] Elite. fighter and he was really durable and de. so Deontay is see he's the one with his. back to us he's long and Tall but not.

giant he's not a big guy in comparon to. a lot of these guys but he he catches. him with a right hand and flattens him I. think this is the first time they fought. Jamie oh you went the second one yeah. the second one is the KO with one punch. so he he beat him up in the first fight. too but or Ortiz is an elite boxer and. Deontay is not the best boxer right he's. just a hitter and he's just he's just. waiting waiting wait blam and he hits. guys and they like what the [ __ ] here it. is watch.

this wow that yeah it just collapses it. didn't even seem like it was that hard. of a hit and this is an elite. heavyweight show it again show it again. because it's so crazy it's just one. punch it's just. black see Wilder just Waits Waits Waits. it's all waiting it's not boxing yeah. it's right he's just waiting waiting for. his chance. orz the ring overhand. now Wilder needs to get back in the as.

king KES forward. unbelievable well you got that kind of. power that is so crazy that's crazy. that's hard for us to it's hard for me. to even wrap my head around see if they. show it in the replay because he hits. him on the forehead which is so crazy. just before that watch this just before. it Jamie okay here it is watch this he. hits him on the forehead man not. punching wa he's just waiting he's just. waiting just pawing at him with his left. hand and bang oh my God look at that bro.

but it's all that torque and length and. leverage and just god-given power like. nobody has jeez and the [ __ ] slow. motion so crazy the slow motion camera. that is so crazy and look at the torque. look how the wide shoulders and the. timing and the speed and watch just. straightens out right on his [ __ ]. Noggin boom. you know in these and the follow through. with the shoulder oh my goodness in.

these sports like mixed martial arts. 2 these Sports aren't for me. because one punch it's done oh yeah. meaning meaning I like watching that. meaning I wouldn't have been a good uh. uh athlete in that sport why think that. well like in tenis what I love is if. you're just bombing Aces after the first. set Clean Slate we start all over again. and in.

boxing you make one mistake like that. and it's done well against that guy. that's very unusual most guys can't do. that they can't do that most guys can. hit you pretty hard you would take a. hard hit but you could recover that's. crazy that's crazy that's that Deontay. is like in a world of his own and he's. also in a world of his own again because. he's not big like there's Daniel Duo who. is the uh he's I forget which division. he's a champion of right now but he's a. a giant heavyweight who knocks everybody. out but he's 255 260 built like a tank.

Deontay is literally 40 plus pounds. lighter than that and just one punch. black I liked how we watched a lot of. that and he hadn't even thrown a punch. he's not wasting he's a hitter he there. he's there to kill you he's not going to. outbox you and be slick in fact his. movement is sometimes awkward he's. criticized for having bad foot where his. legs look like sticks he the skinniest. legs you've ever seen in your life like. it's crazy like you look at his legs.

like how how but the power this guy. generates is out of this world so his. software during a fight is just. constantly trying to find the open for. one of these huge punches that's that's. the whole time he's doing he's not. boxing you yeah I mean he's boxing kind. of but he's really looking for the big. one and you know if that big one's lands. it's nighty night for everybody that's. the only body who's able to survive it. is Tyson Fury because he's a [ __ ]. animal and he. from the dead in the 12th round of their. fight where it looked like Deontay had.

knocked him out C Deontay even went like. that at the end of it he hit him with a. right hand and then a left hook as he. was going down and he went flat out on. his back and Tyson Fury Rose like the. Undertaker and got right back and won. the rest of the round but that's just. cu's he's a that's another very very. rare human being Tyson Fury just an. animal Jesus just an animal one of the. greatest boxers of all time and one of. the greatest heavyweights without a. doubt of all time when you get hit like. that there's got to be an enormous. physical pain duh but then there also is.

like don't you get scared then after a. big hit well you get super confused you. get confused cuz I would get scared you. know you got to kind of shake off the. cobwebs your ears are ringing your legs. don't work right anymore when you've get. knocked down I only got tko'ed once in a. kickboxing fight and ironically it. didn't hurt the punch that hit me just. twisted my jaw he hit me with a left. hook and my legs just gave out like weep. like gone it's the craziest feeling it's. like it's it's not like you got hurt.

it's like your legs just shut off right. like he he clipped me with a left hook. that I didn't see in an exchange and. when you get hit on the jaw something. happens in the jaw and I don't know what. it is with the nerves behind your neck. but it just shuts everything off right. and you're conscious which is weird like. so it was completely conscious but my. leg just like disconnected and went down. but they they reconnected right away and. I got up and I was like oh no I'm in. trouble they weren't working good like. everything wasn't working good and then. I got dropped again he hit me with an.

uppercut and dropped me and then the. referee stopped the fight but uh totally. conscious the whole time but the feeling. that you get when you get hit real hard. is real weird it's like nothing works. right anymore and you got to get on your. bike and try to move around and get. everything working again and it might. take 30 seconds and that 30 seconds when. he's also swarming trained to kill you. now in the UFC it's way more accurate. because when you get knocked down they. climb on top of you and beat your. [ __ ] brains. stranged to the whole thing up you're.

ising a chance to get more damage that's. true because they can recover but not. all the way you know sometimes sometimes. a guy gets rocked early in a fight and. you can tell for the whole rest of the. fight they're still [ __ ] up and. they're they're very defensive so it's. safer in your opinion the way UFC does. it where if you start wobbling I'm. immediately on you trying to kill you. and then it's like that as opposed to. boxing where they would get you up and. you maybe I don't think either one is.

safe I think it's an unsafe sport it's. as safe as we can make it we have laws. when you can hit someone you can't hit. them in the back of the head there's but. it's not safe it's a very dangerous very. scary sport yeah but I think. realistically when someone gets hurt and. someone finishes them off on the ground. that's probably less damage than they. would have taken if you gave them a. standing a count dust their gloves off. made them move forward and let them go. back again and get really Molly walloped.

you know cuz a lot of times those were. in the real bad Kos come from is when a. guy's hurt and then he stands up and the. only thing I can even closely compare. this to is being in a car accident yeah. and I let me show you one of the. greatest examples of that Alex Pereira. who was a two division Glory world. champion pull up Alex Pereira Ko's Jason. winess so he he's like the most. destructive kickboxer in the history of. the sport okay and he went over to the.

UFC became a two division UFC champion. just lost his title last weekend in a. really close fight great fight but he. hits this guy with a head kick and drops. him and you can tell this guy's [ __ ]. but they give him the standing because. he's in kickboxing not in MMA they give. him the standing a count dust his gloves. off you okay come forward and then he. gets hit with a flying knee on the chin. and just sent into the shadow realm. right and it didn't didn't need to. happen this way and this is what happens.

when you take a guy who's like really. rocked and kind of [ __ ] so watch this. so he catches him with a head kick so. he's by the way Jason wellis had beaten. him twice before so he drops him with. the left okay is this the first fight. yeah I don't know or is this the the. head kick I don't know the full fight I. don't know if this is the one I think. this is the one when they went back and. forth I don't think this is the one. where he koos them I think this is the. one where he drops them 65 Maybe I guess. that's later yeah try to find the later. one this is it this is the one cuz I can.

tell by his haircut so um Pereira at. this time was the champion and he was. getting revenge on willness who had. beaten him before and stopped him with. low kicks in one of their fights so he. head kicks him boom so right now he's. [ __ ] and MMA he would follow up beat. him a couple times that'll be but. willness is like they're giving him a. chance to clear his head your coach to. like get up immediately show that you're. okay right yeah and he's like watch this. boom Oh my God that's the kind of [ __ ].

that happens when you're really already. [ __ ] so he can hit you with this. flying scissor knee right on the chin. the [ __ ] is that dude and he's the most. ferocious knockout artist literally in. the history of the sport look at this on. the and that's forget that's like legal. and everything oh yeah it's. encouraged it's not just legal that's. celebrated that's one of the greatest. techniques in the history of the sport. and Alex Pereira that's how he won his. uh first year UFC fight he won with that. want to see another nasty one pull up uh.

Pereira koos mtis you want to see. another nasty one this is so this is. pereira's first entrance into the UFC. and uh I'm a giant fan of kickboxing so. I watch Muay Tha I watch Dutch. kickboxing I watch Glory I watch. everything I can about kickboxing and I. knew this guy was really special so I. was completely hyping him up in the in. this first UFC fight I'm like just watch. and he. he came through in flying colors and he. came through with that flying knee and.

it's it's so nuts the amount of power. this guy can generate and with punches. and with kicks but with a flying knee. you have so much torque you're literally. throwing your body weight up into the. air so how do you avoid a flying knee. just step out of the way it's in the. second round Jamie so it's right after. this like right at the beginning of the. second round yeah so they start the. second round and he's like [ __ ] this. dude I'm just gonna catch him coming in. and Flatline. them this is watch this I mean this is.

nutty can isolate that but it's a nasty. well on his left. cheek honestly that's what I was. speaking to with all the clinch oh my. [Applause]. God that is so fast he's such a [ __ ]. animal he's such a monster dude how. would even how can't block that you just. try to get out the way you get the [ __ ]. out of the way of that you don't want to.

block that because if you're well you. you certainly should block it rather. than take it on the chin but once he's. in the air like that if that catches. your arms it could break your forearm I. mean the amount of power that's involved. in that particular technique is [ __ ]. extraordinary because it's a natural. move movement of your hips it's a thing. that you do your whole life running and. jumping you're doing so you can explode. very quickly and you're hitting someone. with your knee which is the most. immobile part like if you want to hit.

someone with a joint it's elbows and. knees but the knee is preferable but. aren't you putting yourself in a. vulnerable position to throw a flying. knee yeah you got to wait till a guy's. [ __ ] and that's what he does he waits. till you're [ __ ] because if because. you are jumping in the air exposing. yourself so what I would do is I would I. would move out of the way Joe and then I. would pop them I would pop them but some. guys are just really good like Jon Jones. when he won the light heavyweight title. one of the craziest things that did he. was 22 years old and he's fighting. Mauricio Shogun haa who is a legend he.

was a light heavyweight champion he was. a legend of this organization called. pride in Japan where they sold out like. 990,000 seed Arenas I mean he's a like a. real legend of the sport and John opens. with a flying knee opens first move. flying knee catches him and then just. beats the [ __ ] out of him and wins the. title and becomes the youngest ever UFC. champion that's a great watch this this. is the beginning of the fight now Shogun. is like I said he's a [ __ ] Legend and. a knockout artist and John starts right.

away boom flying knee to open up the. fight and just put on a clinic put on a. clinic and won the title at 22 years of. age that's a ballsy move to start with. that ballsy [ __ ] yeah that's a. big swing right out of the gate yeah. flying KNE crazy move but some guys can. pull it off and it helps being tall like. Alex is very tall John's tall so it's. it's hard to hit their chin but you know. it doesn't always work work like. sometimes guys do it and they get. knocked out cold how does your [ __ ].

kneecap not break too it doesn't no your. kneecap versus chin I'll take kneecap. all day long especially when your knees. bent and you're hitting them with this. part right here you can hit that pretty. hard on things you'd be surprised I have. so much respect for these athletes and. I'm. also I can't be far enough away from it. just want see it go wrong I want to show. you the flying knee go wrong pull up um. uh Fedor ailon enko. versus um. oh Andre olowski I'm sorry you want to. see a flying ni Andre rovski Fedor.

milliano so this is Andre olowski was. actually winning this fight and he. actually was kind of tuning Fedor up and. he was hitting him with some big shots. and he got a little crazy and he leapt. in with a flying knee and got Flat Line. well that's what I'm that's this is what. you would do that's what I was thinking. this is what I would do no but I was. thinking this is a vulnerable position. you don't want to be in the air true so. he's fighting the guy um uh with the. bald head that's Fedor Milano who's a. legend so watch Arlovski he catches him. with the kick he's feeling cocky tries. to fly KN boom Oh [ __ ] flatlined but.

he's fighting and Fedor that's literally. the greatest heavyweight of all time if. not one of the greatest like there's the. argument that he's the greatest so he. catches him on the chin as he's leaping. in like perfect punch so the guy with. the beard thought he thought he was. vulnerable he was beating his ass a. little bit and he made a mistake and he. tried to come in cocky with a flying. knee and he got clipped on the jaw my. God and as soon as he gets hit you just. see the his flying knee KNE just dropped. also you got to think where Fedor threw. that punch cuz Fedor knew he was going.

in the air this is like the reads this. guy's able to get he sees Arlovski make. a motion like Bend at the knees like. he's going to launch himself so if you. look at where he punches him he punches. him so high up in the air so he knew. where his head was going to be look at. that look how high he see it he's ducked. down and or's way up in the air and he. catches him perfectly on the chin yeah. like that is just an understanding of. position where a guy's going to be and. where what the timing of your punches. this this is reminding me of the way.

Roger Federer would notice his opponent. would quarter of an inch open up his. grip on the run and Roger would know. forehand slice is coming I'll sneak in. and pop and now it's much different. sport obviously really but it's reading. just the grip yeah dude if you just. typically he does it like this and this. time he's doing it tin boom they go W. what's what's so different about tennis. obviously is then you just volleyball. for winner it's 15 love you don't get. head kicked you don't get [ __ ]. knocked out I mean this is why this this.

[ __ ] fascinates me but the consequences. are so great that people look at it as a. barbaric horrific thing which is valid I. understand why pacifists and people are. very peaceful don't want to have. anything to do with violence yeah I get. it yeah but what it is to me is the. ultimate problem solving yeah it's it's. problem solving you have a person in. front of you that is do doing all of. these things to try to throw you off. they're fainting you they're moving.

they're switching stances they're. shooting in for takedowns that they. don't want so they can catch you with a. punch on the way in there's so many. variables you have to think about so. it's just like highlevel problem solving. with dire physical consequences yeah I. love sport because it it teaches life. lessons with very low stakes but in this. these Sports there's high stakes and. that's very interesting for me because I. much rather my kid play soccer or tennis. learn some important lessons with low.

stakes but this type of. thing that is serious Stakes man it is. serious Stakes I think kids especially. boys should all learn how to fight so. that they don't ever fight that's what I. think I as a 45-year-old grown man I. wish I would have learned how to fight. yeah and I think it's probably not too. late it's not too late I know you got a. gym over here yeah I was telling you you. could get into Jiu-Jitsu you'd be great. at it you have long limbs You're. athletic that's that's what I li aree. jiujitsu because there's certain things. that you'll be able to catch that other.

people can't catch with shorter limbs. like a Dar choke so a Dar choke is so. say if you come to grab me and you have. your head here and your arm wraps around. me like this I can shove my arm under. like this go off the side of your neck. and clamp it like this and now I've got. you in a wicked choke it's called the. DAR choke Dar you will be way better at. that than me because you have an extra 6. in that you could seal this thing up. okay so you your hand will go further.

than mine you'll be able to grab it. deeper I'm ring down Dar joke yeah and. what I'll do tonight on my YouTube is. I'll watch some Dar jokes yes and I and. then you do it the other way it's an. anaconda so you either go armpit this. way it's a Dar or you go head this way. armpit that way it's an anaconda and. with the Anaconda you roll like an. anaconda and you squeeze them deeper. into the choke and I just squeeze until. the refere it's and your long legs you. could wrap around their body to secure. them in place you could grab a hold of.

one of their legs so they can't turn. away from you you turn into them and. [ __ ] keep the squeeze on dude you'd. be Wicked at it and in a competition. that happens until the ref calls it or. the person Taps out most of the time. most of the time you tap out because you. know it's over you know it's over you if. you're a psycho you go to sleep and. there are a lot of psychos just let. people choke them unconscious that. happens all the time guys just say [ __ ]. it I'm going to get choked UNC cons and. they just go out and then the refere. referee stops you hopefully hopefully.

but sometimes the referees miss it and. sometimes someone's out for like seconds. while someone's still [ __ ] squeezing. the [ __ ] out of their neck and then the. referee finally figures it out is like. like in the shadow realm I do absolutely. love that in the in these Sports there's. this extreme. violence um high stakes but then also a. simple tap yes is a mutual agreement. 100% that's [ __ ] awesome and if you. don't stop when someone Taps you will. get kicked out of the sport there's a. guy named hamar Paul Harris who is one.

of the scariest [ __ ] to ever. fight because he was a leg lock. specialist okay and what he would do is. rip your knees apart and he wouldn't he. wouldn't let go and you tapped and he. got kicked out of the UFC for it cuz he. did it to so many people he was known. for not letting go right and he would. these guys would be screaming in agony. and slapping and tapping and he would be. still twisting he was built like a human. Pitbull he was like 5 185 lb of solid. muscle and it would just dive on your.

legs and roll into these positions and. rip your knees apart like with a heel. hook a heel hook is so terrible because. your knee has a lot of strength going. forward and backwards but has almost. none going side to side so they isolate. the top of it with their legs they wrap. the heel into the crook of their elbow. and then they wrench that [ __ ]. apart it's literally twisting your knee. apart and it's terrifying oh my God and. he cripples people like you [ __ ] he'll.

tear your ACL your MCL your miniscus. you're going to go a whole year before. you can fight again you're going to have. to get surgery to reconstruct your knee. and then your knee's never going to be. the same because your meniscus is shot. now and maybe some of your cartilage so. this is him I I don't know I don't know. oh I don't know this is this is a fight. that he had against David Avalon and. this is [ __ ] because they stopped the. motion and they put him back into the. same position and when they put him back. into the same position he he doesn't let. go so he he holds on to the heel hook.

and just wrenches the [ __ ] [ __ ] out. like this right here ah he let go there. he let go there because I think they. were like chastising him to make sure. like look at that look at what he does I. I don't want to look real and look at. the build on this guy Paul Harris was a. [ __ ] specimen and he's trying to turn. the knees sideways he's ripping this. [ __ ] apart right here man he's pulling. it backwards it's backwards and at a. slight angle I mean this is horrific and. look at the build on poar imagine the. [ __ ] Force the size of this guy's.

legs the size of his torso and perfect. technique and he's just ripping his. [ __ ] knee apart that's a nasty knee. bar right there that's so horrible to. watch but in in MMA he wound up getting. kicked out of the UFC because uh I think. it was Mike Pierce see if you can find. the Mike Pierce fight it might not have. been Pierce at of fight love I love that. the tap generally speaking it does of in. this the Mike Pierce one he's screaming. and tapping and still ripping it apart I.

mean my one of my favorite parts of. tennis is how they'll battle for five. and a half hours and then they calmly. walk so here it is look he's tapping. he's watch so he gets it he's tearing. he's tapping and he won't let go he's. still when the referee's on him he's. still yanked on it so those ex that. extra second will just rip your [ __ ]. apart so he Taps immediately see none of. this has to happen right he was tapping. immediately I feel like the ref was on. that I know but it's like Po haris. doesn't give a [ __ ] he's out for blood I.

mean he had like a crazy childhood he. grew up on a farm with like no food like. it's really like he's he's feral he's. feral and he's super technical which. would serve you I'm sure oh yeah well. until you get kicked out of the sport. you know un God it's it's. incredibly. um. uh violent but also systematic in it's. understanding of the human body oh yeah. we're going to know that the knee. doesn't go this way no it's really.

really Tech all sports are like this. actually yeah I think all sports at the. highest levels they have to be like that. because you only get so far with. genetics and so far with natural speed. and endurance there's certain aspects of. it that require a careful considered. study and wouldn't you if you know your. opponent is a guy that likes to do the. the the the wouldn't you then in your. training work on yes defending that and. also like making sure your knee can. withstand more of that than normal you. know you're not going to be able do that. there's only so much there special knee.

knee pill you can take you got to tap. when you get into those positions and. then you got to make sure that you don't. get into those positions which is the. most important thing the tapping must be. so humbling as a fighter because you've. trained so hard you want to win so badly. and yet you have to do this thing you. have to press the eject button well. hopefully you will tap because guys. haven't tapped and they've gotten their. arms broken in half and I've seen quite. a few of those including Legends like. Frank me one time he too much pride you. mean to tap yeah yeah cuz he fought uh. Antonio noera who was uh another Legend.

who was former heavyweight champion of. Pride and he caught him in a camur and. snapped his upper arm and we watched his. arm crack and then go limp and you could. see like where it was cracked up here. like oh it was horrific that's terrible. so hard to watch when you're. commentating um are. you present moment completely yeah like. you're just you're not you're not. thinking like uh it's not like baseball. commentators were like I got a story. I'll tell later in this no no cuz it is.

that yeah great no especially not while. the actual fight is going on the actual. fight is life and death you know you you. have to be locked in but Daniel Cormier. my uh co- so there's like two color. commentators me and Daniel cor and this. John anic who's the play-by-play guy me. and Daniel [ __ ] around a lot we we joke. around a lot about stuff during the. because he's like a fun guy but when. things are serious we're serious you you. have to be like you know this is like. you're representing these people's hard. work you're trying to like put words to. I love that yeah yeah you have to be.

very serious about it because the stakes. are so high and it's wild though that. people might know you if they're just. being introduced to you as the. commentator for that and maybe don't. know the other stuff and well it's. confusing for sure but it's also like. it's one of the things that I'm most uh. impressed with by what you do is as. someone that has this passion for tennis. I'm like it's so cool how you dive into. a completely different world yeah and. you just can't apologize for it you.

can't wonder what other people think. about it you just have to be yourself. right and I grew up a martial artist. martial arts is an enormous part of my. life it's an enormous part of like how I. became who I am yeah so for me like. commentating on martial arts is normal. right you're not a comedian who then no. switched over to martial arts because. it's served you it's it's your. foundation of who you are and you also. happen to be comedian and podcast host. yeah I'm noted being funny you know I'm. just trying to do that job like I've. done commentary on professional pool too.

wow yeah cuz I play pool like and I play. pretty good so I I really understand the. game and I know what's going on so I've. done commentary on that too it's the. same thing what's your favorite Pool. movie bil hler The Hustler the only. answer to that question is the Hustler I. thought The Color of Money had a had a. run it's it's okay the color of money is. good it's a good tournament movie it's a. good Mo but it's you know there's some. things in it and because Paul Newman was. in it you know it kind of gave it some. validity cuz it was the same Walter tev.

novel as the Hustler the color money it. was very different the book was very. different though but yeah the color. money was great because it got a lot of. people playing pool again but the. Hustler is just an amazing film okay. like the the actual film itself is. amazing it's like Piper Lori is. incredible in it it's it's just it's. George C Scott is in it Jackie gleon. plays Minnesota fats who's by by the way. Jackie gleon was a real pool player he's. probably the only guy that's ever played. a pool player in a movie that really.

could play my brother once got a book. for Christmas called uh how to hustle. your friends a pool and it was in our it. was in our basement we had a pool table. but I just it was one of those things. same that I worked at it I could never. get it right and eventually other things. came more naturally to me but it is fun. pool something if you really want to. play right you have to get coached okay. yeah it's just like tennis I'm sure it's. like there can develop some bad habits. and bad fundamentals that you'll never. you're never going to pass a certain.

level of play yeah you know but I think. it's like everything I think it's like. chess it's like tennis it's like you. know Schultz was in here the other day. and he's into this sport paddle have you. have you seen paddle is this p a D- L. padel yeah this is the pel well I've. heard padell it depends on how you want. how pretentious you want to yeah perfect. of course or if you're Spanish or. Spanish oh did they say padel that's. where it's from oh well why why don't we. call it P. Schultz said that's what said paddle. like a New Yorker yeah so you know.

tennis has had this this great. historical run on Elite racket Sports. and then pickle ball has been. this counter response to tennis silly. ball loud noise don't really have to. move much um and pickle ball has been. taking off I don't know if you've played. or if you've seen Kid Rock plays every. day okay perfect that's that's at 8 in. the morning plays pickle ball with a. trainer that is exactly my point okay I.

was in Scottdale Arizona recently I did. an hour of pickle ball the community. there had music going cracking beers. Costa come over play with us very very. fun very fun I then go over to the other. side and play tennis which is my Sport. and no joke this older couple says. you're talking too loudly on the courts. right it's this beautiful dichotomy of. these two sports I don't know if pickle. Ball's a sport but padell comes along. and seems to be this Middle Ground yeah. what I don't like about pickle ball is.

you get to the what they call the. kitchen line and you can't move anymore. you're Frozen you so you just stand. there Frozen and you just you knock the. ball around I like a sport I want 360. degree movement I don't want to I don't. want the I don't want the dimensions of. the court to restrict my movement or the. rules of the game padell seems to be. both it's tennis but it's in this box. and they sometimes run outside of the. box [ __ ] insane and I've actually. never played. but the points never end because you're.

on this this I I just see people bl's. going outside the box I that's nuts that. is nuts so it almost seems gimmicky to. me that's funny that Andrew plays uh but. I would like to play this and look you. know also one of the best things that. happened for racket Sports is HDTV dude. when you used to I when you were a kid. watching T watching Jimmy jump you never. even see the [ __ ] ball the same color. as the court and this [ __ ] now is.

unbelievable to watch that's like what. they've done with hockey where they. highlight the puck I love that [ __ ]. that's a game. changer at first people made fun of it. and I was like I need and in hockey with. the substitutions on the Fly I never. know who who the [ __ ] on the ice yeah. I love that though I love that they do. that that's so cool I've been watching. uh professional lacrosse lately once I. realized they could beat the [ __ ] out of. each other I didn't know that they could. fight like they do I know they could. fight they fight and they wear shoes. which is crazy because now you're bare. knuckle boxing in the middle of a game.

what does the shoes have to do with it. what do you mean Get Grip Oh you mean. like like a clean Sho right well the. difference between running around on ice. skates you're sliding around the. fighting is like yeah they're fighting. but they're kind of compromised because. they can't really like you know good. skaters can kind of hold it's not like. having grip with your shoes being able. to really you could really hurt people. so they're beating the [ __ ] out of each. other I'm like wow lacrosse lacrosse. always kind of had the like douchy Rich. Kid Sport but it is incredibly this yeah. but this they stopped doing this in the.

'90s yeah I was going to say they. stopped doing this I watch I like it I. my favorite my favorite was I thought. they put a circle around it FL when it. flies around it got a lot of push back. but I always. enjoy sorry I was dou I don't think they. do might show it sometimes on a. highlight but that's funny I always. avoided winter sports when I was a kid I. didn't learn how to ski until I was in. my 40s and I never learned how to skate. because uh I was fighting all the time. so I didn't want to do anything that. would hurt myself doing so I like and.

everybody was like we're going to go. skiing I was like uhuh yeah the [ __ ] out. of here like I need these the was like. super important yeah this got everybody. excited though a few weeks ago though. USA Canada fight or game there was nine. fights in or three seconds they just. started squaring off yeah why are we. upset at Canada this is stupid this over. tariffs yes 100% they booed us over. tariffs they were also trying to I mean. it worked they got a ton of attention so. everyone was who's red and who's blue. well Canada's red there you go who's. winning this exchange white Blue's.

America one dude keeps his helmet on. that's ridiculous that helmet's problem. I do love when you hear their. microphones during a fight and they. fight and then they go like you ready to. be done yeah I'm ready to be done I love. that it's like I I I was at the comic. strip in Edmonton years ago when Canada. played us in the gold medal game someone. sent. me the country's water usage during that. game and at every period end the water. usage would go up because everyone went.

would go to the bathroom right and it. was like the whole [ __ ] country went. to the bathroom at the same time and. Canada won I think it was an overtime I. was the only American there but man do. they love a good winter sport up there. and we got to become friends with Canada. again we have to like you know I'm down. this is so ridiculous I can't believe. that there's like anti-American and. anti-canadian sentiment going on it's. the dumbest fuckud there it is that's. nuts look at the water consumtion is. there that's crazy right when I love on. this pod where if I say something I got.

to be ready for you guys to fact check. my ass Jamie's ready. uh is there anti-canadian sentiment yeah. there's a lot of idiots that now think. that there are [ __ ] enemy okay why. are we subsidizing Canada right well how. come they don't have their own military. well they don't so let's just like deal. with it as it is. uh you know Trudeau is out right he's. already Le. I they got a new guy who's just as bad. same thing they got a new party 150.

people voted now they have a new new guy. running the country but they their whole. election system is so different they. don't have like a specific time when. they have elections and so they can call. an election and I think it happens. within three weeks the whole thing is so. crazy and so I don't know what's. happening with their politics but I just. want America and Canada to get along I. think it's ridiculous yeah it's a good. as someone who's from an Arbor Michigan. you know and I don't really think they. should be our 51st State there I said it. that you said it it's on record it would. be fun if it happened it would be fun I.

think Greenland's more accessible yeah. we could probably buy that yeah if you. want a 51st date it's Greenland plus if. global warming is real because of all. the digging and oil and all that [ __ ]. you know be good to have a cold spot to. eventually warm up I I just read this. crazy book called Power Metals by Vince. Biser possibly we had him on the show. Daily Show and it's all about like. minerals and metals and what we need for. our batteries and Cobalt mining in. Africa and I went down all this YouTube.

[ __ ] with like the child you know labor. and all but very I was very ignorant to. how much we need and use Metals oh yeah. nickel copper you know wild batteries. EVS everything and so then when the news. came out that Trump wanted Greenland I. was like oh this is starting to make. more sense to me no there's a lot of. stuff up there there's a lot also a lot. of stuff in the sky if they can mine. asteroids if they successfully figured. out how to M asteroids they can get a. lot of Precious Minerals asteroids yeah.

well that's that's a few decades away. but they'll figure it out eventually. they they've been able to get samples. from asteroids and they uh they know. like what the composits are and you know. there's asteroids out there that are. filled with trillions of dollars and. minerals that is [ __ ] nuts I know. it's nuts yeah and they can figure it. out they will they'll they'll eventually. figure it out but uh I had sad Darth. Cara on who is done uh he's done some. pretty. brilliant and brave investigative work. on the Cobalt mines and you know he took.

video of what they call artisanal Minds. it's essentially slaves digging this. stuff out of the ground with their. babies on their back this is from sadar. book yeah I mean this is [ __ ] crazy. and they're digging the Cobalt out of. the ground with like literally with. sticks everybody's breathing it in it's. all toxic these women have babies on. their back the babies are breathing it. in and then there's these pools right. that you that you put the water and it's. toxic water and the pools are different. colors and we don't know where this goes.

and the water seeps in and is this also. I can get the new iPhone 14 Max or. whatever the [ __ ] it is 100% that's. exactly what it is and terrible it's the. only way we're getting that stuff right. that's most of the Cobalts coming from. that area and it's it's also then you go. to the actual construction of the phone. itself and you see those factories those. foxcon factories where they have Nets. around them to keep people from jumping. off Ro and you realiz these people are. working in these horrific conditions so. that you can get an iPhone that cost .99.

instead of $15.99 or whatever the [ __ ]. it would be if it was made in America. with people paid a working wage and. health care and all the stuff you're. supposed to get if you're going to be. working especially if a company like. apple that's worth more than any. Corporation ever like Apple's insanely. profitable so we we did this past at The. Daily Show once about the sugar cane. um agriculture in the central Florida. they over fertilize it get makes more.

sugar faster all of the fertilization. goes down to Lake okachobee then goes. out to the oceans where the algae blooms. the manatees die d d da and I'm just. going I think most people would pay an. extra 25 cents a year for this not to. happen to spend more on sugar why why. are we doing this why I I would pay more. to have my iPhone be made in America by. American hands. yeah we've talked about that but the. problem is the infrastructure that's. required to be able to build phones here.

is a decade away right it takes a long. time to build the kind of factories that. can have like the tolerances of these. chips and they've been doing it in China. forever so it most it's [ __ ] wild I. mean I was I I was loading my kids in. the car put my phone on top of my car. because I didn't have an extra hand. forget it's there driving through. Pennsylvania yeah and it's gone I hear. it B all over the highway it's bouncing. I stop I finally find my phone in the. woods and 911 is on the phone wow we we.

recognize that there was a crash are you. okay do we and I'm like how the [ __ ]. what holy [ __ ] that's in this thing yeah. that's pretty wild it's wild it's also. watching everything you do and listening. to all your conversations and. recommending Google searches why why. don't you buy this Michael hey Michael. maybe you'd be interested in buying this. it seems like you were interested you're. talking about vacation homes in Hawaii. look Michael what about when you've. already bought it that always is weird.

yeah it's weird when it's like feing the. algorithm I'm in the algorithm yeah you. get sucked into the algorithm you know. it's uh it's an interesting world that. we live in with all that stuff because. it's like you're constantly getting. inundated that's one of the things that. I really enjoy about podcast it's the. one time for three hours a day where I. don't look at my phone yeah I don't have. any text coming in it's on do not. disturb I don't care I mean that could. argue ably be why maybe you have this. Supernatural memory and brain power.

because you more than anybody probably. in the world maybe United States are. actually away from this for four four. hours just talking that could be. interesting that's did I just crack. something that's something there may be. something of that but I think it's just. a sheer volume of people that I've. talked to yeah it's like you're getting. information you're retaining a lot of. that I've always been good at that for. some reason you know I mean you just. referenced the guest you had this. previous book yeah uh are you retaining. are you you doing a trick or anything to. retain that you're just locked in and.

engaged yeah yeah I buy I take. supplements for memory too though I take. alphab brain which is a um it's called a. neutop I saw there you can grab some I. didn't take I didn't want to be too no. get in there too sharp for the uh thing. that vending machine you get free Alpha. Brain just press the button you how many. pods do you get free Alpha Brain on. that's pretty sick anyone you want um. it's uh but that stuff's legit it really. works and it really we that was from my.

company on it and when we first made it. a lot of people were saying oh this is. snake oil this is [ __ ] I had already. had experience with neut Tropics because. um there's a company called nuro one and. uh Bill Romanowski the football player. developed it because he was having. memory problems after all the you know. hits and uh I was on a radio show in San. Francisco and one of the guys was. working out with Bill Roman. and he started taking this neuro one. he's like dude it's like I'm so much. more focused it's really great I'm like.

okay let me try this and I was like oh. this is legit like I feel like uh my. mind feels clearer like I I feel like I. have more thought energy if that makes. any sense yeah so then we started. experimenting with different ones and uh. there's a bunch I like one of them is uh. this company nuro these are mints neuro. mints but they make neuro gum which I'm. a big fan of I chew it all the time it's. gum that has like a little bit of. caffeine a little bit of theanine in it. what's the the goal just to kind of keep. the brain energy High yes yeah you want.

to provide your brain with the nutrients. your brain needs to produce uh human. neurotransmitters all I'm going to take. this maybe maybe we'll do like a before. after that you know is mine I usually. take two okay when I take the mints but. they're legit this is so this is one. neurog gums another one um true brain is. another one that I've tried it's really. good it's like little packets you drink. I found I just assumed it was like kids. and a and getting older that I'll lose. my train of thought more often than I. ever had before Oh yeah and I I hate it.

writing a joke it's not fun and and. everything I read says like keep. exercising get blood flow in your body. this maybe sauna helps sleep isn't it. crazy how much an athlete the best. athletes treat sleep oh yeah I mean Pete. S used to travel with duct tape so when. he get to the hotel he would tape the. curtain to the window so no excess light. would get in cuz he wanted like full. dark a float tank.

situation and I'm like you know at that. level when you're playing for one in the. world like all that little stuff yep and. that's wild meanwhile you get my house I. lay down we shut off the lights Sonos. has a light the Wi-Fi thing has a light. the clock has there so much extra excess. light all around yeah it's not good. maybe that's why I can't remember the. joke I'm about to tell sleep is a big. problem yeah you know you really need to. get a solid 78 hours of sleep every. night and if you don't you're going to. feel it one of the best supplements for. mitigating the effects of sleep.

deprivation is actually creatine okay. creatine is actually my buddy just. started taking it I don't I don't know I. take it every day I took it in college. the strength team coach made me take it. and it bothered my stomach well there's. different forms of creatine um I take it. in gummy form which doesn't seem to. bother me at all I've had people that. take it like liquid they pour it into. water and they get diarrhea I haven't. had that happen but it's also like. there's different kinds of creatine you. want really good creatine like you want. a reputable company that makes creatine.

monohydrate and then there's another. thing called hmbb that people mix with. creatine but creatine besides being uh a. muscle builder because it really does. enhance your recovery and helps you. build muscle it also is uh a neut Tropic. it also helps brain function which Mak. sense because if your body works better. your brain works better you know and it. it makes you retain more water you can't. have more water in your body which is. obviously also a good thing and. especially for an athlete and especially. for someone who wants to think like one.

of the worst ways to think is if you're. dehydrated if you're dehydrated and. tired like you're [ __ ] you're working. on like 50% brain capacity well you I. love watching. sports you know the end you see these. silly mistakes always why why would they. do that that's you know why' the ball go. through his legs why did he choose to. serve to that side why did he throw the. fast ball down the middle cuz they're. [ __ ]. dehydrated and tired and it's crazy how. that affects brain function and that's. why I love the couch fan oh my God why.

did he throw that it's like with a beer. in your hand you're literally belly. you're literally drinking a beer this. guy this guy's a [ __ ] this guy's a. [ __ ] if I was getting that money I'd. fight my Tyson exctly I'd come out. swinging yeah the couch fan is their. best yeah like in fights you see it all. the time when people are exhausted they. make terrible decisions they shoot for. takedowns they get caught in Guillotine. chokes cuz they're exposed they just. they're exhausted and they just take a. chance and they don't have the energy to. complete the technique correctly yep.

yeah oh dude I mean my. parenting with a full night sleep versus. like had an early flight had to I mean. it's crazy yeah everything is I mean I'm. like i' like to think a kind patient. parent on good night's sleep but like. when I get home after a road gig or. whatever even coming up this Sunday I. have an early flight I'm going to get to. Brooklyn I know it's going to be 1: p.m. and the wife's going to hand me the kids. and go your turn right and I'm going to. be like dude the patience is going to be. it's going to be tough well you're going. to be exhausted from the flight y you.

know what I I found helps a lot from. flights is if you can work out. immediately after right when you land. okay like right when you land just just. get into it just get something going. even if it's 20 minutes do a bunch of. push-ups and sit-ups and chin-ups just. get get it going just reset the clock. cuz when you exert yourself like hard. you have a hard you know 20 minutes half. hour of working out resets you and. you're like I okay him back I'm okay I'm. very excited about this weekend. because uh my former assistant coach at.

Illinois where I play tennis is the head. coach here at Texas oh at UT at UT so. he's won an NCAA Championship his name. is Bruce Burke he's an excellent coach. but he's like dude come hit with us oh. wow so I'm gonna be training with the. Texas team and they're beasts these guys. are you know it's so that's that's. exciting for me that's cool that's super. fun just get to do that and then perform. a Mothership dude never even Ste foot in. this place oh I'm excited for you to go. and it's selling out so F I mean you've.

created it last time I was here it was. like still an idea yeah Adam egot was. around but now I mean it's just amazing. man it's you've built something amazing. yeah it uh it's as good it's better than. we have ever hoped we never hoped it was. going to be what it is now it's it's. perfect was The Comedy. Store uh a found ational thought with. this oh yeah yeah mit's room is. obviously test and I never met mity I.

never [ __ ] met her that's crazy. that's. her that painting's her let me ask. something that's crude was she was she a. hot she was hot when she was young when. she looked like that she's hot cuz I see. like I go to the La Hoya comedy store. and I see all the pictures of her and. I'm like I think mity was hot you know. but I didn't never she was hot when she. was young um I didn't meet her then I. met her in '94 you know she was already. quite a bit older and she started. suffering the beginnings of her. neurological condition like she would. have a little bit of shakes but she was.

there yeah and you know you could have. conversations with her and she she. helped me a lot and and she also helped. Foster an environment of creativity and. of collaboration and of you know there. was it was a a home for a lot of you. know Road Comics like there was this. thing that you knew that you would go. home and on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. we would be at the store having the time. of our lives on Tuesday and Wednesday. nights we would be working on new jokes. we' be doing sets we'd be laughing.

together everybody's cracking jokes in. the parking lot it was so much fun and. it was that home environment that we. wanted to recreate as much as possible. that's awesome and to make it as comic. friendly as POS what have you ever. wanted in a club they didn't have okay. let's get that like what how do you want. it this to be how do you want it get to. the stage what do you think we be the. and I asked everybody and Louis CK gave. me some of the best advice like Lou told. me to lower theils I shorten the stage. in the smaller room he told me like. toaden the sound as much as possible.

everybody wants that Echo because it. makes it sound like people are killing. more you want clear sound he's dead. right on everything wow cuz he has a. production mind you know he doesn't just. have a mind of a comic he also has a. mind of like what's the best way to set. things up for a film or for you know set. the environment yep you feel and notice. all that stuff on stage I was performing. recently. ceiling's tall crowd is full yeah but. where's the laughs going am I killing I.

feel like I'm doing well but I'm not. hearing it yeah uh now I'm in my head a. little bit right that's changed my order. now I'm now I'm doing the bit that I. know is going to kill instead of just. letting things Rel and it's like all of. that matters yeah all of that matters. high ceiling is a big thing you want to. be locked in I want everybody to be. locked in um The Comedy Store the way. you just described that was was really. became my my Clubhouse yeah and and I. was a little bit I got past there when. you were gone for a little while and I.

remember when you came back changed. changed dramatically but La was really. really tough for me initially upon. moving there and then all of a sudden. you get in a place like that there's a. place to drink there's a place to talk. [ __ ] there's a place to oh my God even. just parking yeah right park here and. then just hang yeah you know it was it. changed the game it changed the game for. me so Chang the game for all of us and. having uh like The Improv was always a. great Club to perform at I always. perform there Laugh Factory is fun but.

there's something about the store was. like that was home base and so the idea. of doing something like that in Texas. Ron White was the first guy to open my. eyes to it because Ron had moved here. before the pandemic and Ron's like it's. in the middle of the country I don't. have to [ __ ] fly for six hours it's. like the place is great food's nice. people are cool I'm like [ __ ] could I. live in Texas cuz I always wanted to get. out of La yeah cuz I felt especially. when my kids were young I was like I've. been through this with my older daughter. I was like I don't think La is a good. place for children I don't think it's a.

good place for young people I think it's. just filled with too many like. bizarre Ambitions and creeps and and it. just like people are devalued because. there's so many of them it's too it's. too. overwhelming um so I'd always thought. about getting out and then the pandemic. hit and then Ron White was the one who. talked me into to open up the club like. we were doing local shows at the Vulcan. and we had talked about maybe opening up. a club like maybe we should buy a club. here and then Ron White got off stage he. hadn't been on stage in like seven or.

eight months and he murdered he got a. standing ovation when he got on stage. and turned out he had he was playing it. off he had practiced all day gone over. his notes and he's just [ __ ]. professional just murdered and then he. grabs me by the shoulders goes whatever. the [ __ ] we have to do we're going to. keep doing this you going to open up. that goddamn Club I was like okay yeah. okay okay always a great hang oh he's. the best I mean at The Comedy Store he. didn't know me and he would just hang. and he's the best uh he's the Elder. Statesman of the Austin comedy scene got. it he's the best yeah he's such a good.

guy and he's always around and so like. with Ron it's like so we had Ron we had. Tony hinch cluff and then Tom sigura. moved here and Christina pitsky and then. the floodgates open Tim Dylan everybody. started coming it's a title dude and. then Shane Gillis moved here and he. brought the whole Philly crew and. there's all these killers it's like yeah. Duncan moved here it's like it just. became so fun it became so fun and all. these things had to happen for it to. take place like that yeah The Comedy. Store had to lose guys like Adam like. they had fire everybody so these people. were all unemployed so I hire them yeah.

and I brought them over here when it. wasn't even a club yet I was like I'll. pay you now you can start getting paid. now you'll you have health benefits all. the Jazz just enjoy the city just have a. good time a year or so I'll call on you. and so then we started working I mean. I've been texting Adam for a long time. and I was like is is something H you. know yes something is happening but we. don't know when but not to come back and. excited to walk through it so. yeah a lot of people dismissed it it's. not going to happen but it was going to. happen I had you know well you just when.

you you're an outsider looking at your. plate there's a lot on it yeah you know. so yeah but this was important yeah. there's also if I'm not going to do it. who's going to do it you know it's one. of those things where if you have an. opportunity to do something very unusual. and you don't do it well then what does. nobody ever do anything unusual just. [ __ ] do it everyone just always. either goes to New York or LA and that's. it forever also we had so many people. like Brian Simpson he moved out here. early Derek post and nanad they all. moved out here early we had so many. killers that were already here we're.

like this we already doing shows sold. out shows at the Vulcan Tuesday. Wednesday Thursday nights kill Tony was. there on Mondays we were already doing. weekend shows it was like it was a. no-brainer we knew we could do it that's. sick you know but it was it was a little. scary it's a little scary you dump a. bunch of money buy a building oh [ __ ] re. renovate the whole thing for a year and. a half the decisions alone there a lot. of decisions of decisions door knobs. carpets lights ceiling drywall like we. had a really good architect that helped. too shout out to Richard Richard wise.

but at the end of the day really what it. was all about was a lot of great timing. great opportunity and great timing yeah. and then doing it the right way from the. beginning make it as comedy friendly as. possible and just just make an. environment where people like like to be. there yeah nice friendly people. everybody's having fun everybody's like. real supportive and I love that yeah. it's great and Comics to their credit I. think naturally are non-conformists and. I love that they'll jump at a new.

opportunity they're not like all tied. so you know yeah Joe's open a club we'll. go boom done and people moved here it's. like nuts to hear I can't believe how. often I was texting with Adam he said. who who do you want to be opening for. you this weekend I said send me some. names send me all the names I'm like. this feels like these feels like all. comedy store names yeah everybody's. these are all in a Holman lives here now. he's here all the time that's crazy he. was [ __ ] killing the other night now. Holzman has a crowd here now yeah so.

instead of Holzman going up at 2 o'clock. in the morning in the main room when. there was no one there and the comics. sit in the back of the room and laugh. yeah now he's got sold out shows and. people come to see Holtzman yeah and. he's doing different material like every. night man it's amazing he's got a crowd. now and he can make money in town right. which is huge and he doesn't have to. travel Hees have to do the road and he. is doing the road a little bit too now. which is unique for Brian too it's. really funny because he puts up these. videos of people getting offended he.

does I haven't se yeah on his Instagram. it's people getting offended and. screaming at him walking out of his show. because they don't get it they don't. yeah but once you see him a couple of. times and you get what he's doing then. we have what we have in Austin now where. people they you know when holzman's. there it sells out they're coming to see. Holtzman it's fun there's nothing more. beautiful than a person talking into a. microphone causing a reaction to a group. yeah it's beautiful it's nuts it shows. how powerful words and energy and.

communication can be it's like you you. let that person make you that mad and he. didn't this person didn't touch you or. hit you yeah that's wild right that is. wild to think that that that we have. that ability especially with Holzman. because he lets you in on it every now. and then what he's doing and then he. comes back to it it's like you he's he. does this very beautiful dance of like. letting you in on it and then going. right back to the [ __ ] guy yeah yeah. yeah well it's [ __ ] great I'm looking.

forward to performing there so that's. sweet you're going to have a good time. man great did you bring people to open. with you or you got local people uh I. think we got local I'm not 100% sure but. I didn't bring people with me but um we. have a lot of good local well that's the. thing it's like you could bring somebody. or you're in a community where there's. great comedy so I'd much rather do that. yeah it's and it's it you'll have a. great hang the Green Room is really. great it's a great hang we have may West. couch in there okay that um Peter Shore. gave me it's mits she had it in her.

house and so we had it reupholstered so. in the Green Room this beautiful pink. couch that's May West couch okay amazing. yeah so the bones of it are May West. couch that's great yeah so we have. Rodney Dangerfield's handwritten notes. on the wall from his last Tonight Show. special so it's all the different bits. that he wanted to hit and all the. different things that he wanted to talk. about and then Patrick Bet David gave me. one of Lenny Bruce's microphones holy. [ __ ] so we have Lenny Bruce's microphone. framed on the wall above the.

monitors I feel like Lenny. Bruce not enough Comics understand what. the the road he paved for everybody else. you know it's like it's it's it's known. that he did that but he's the OG that. was he was the OG that's that's that's. what I'm trying to say he was the first. guy to go to jail he was going [ __ ]. arrested him a bunch of times that is. insane for stuff that is nothing today. it wouldn't even get you kicked off Tik. Tok but we still had the first amendment.

at that time so that's what's so. interesting to me yeah the. interpretation of or the enforcement of. has that's wild well this is the role. same Constitution yeah same Constitution. well this is the role that comedy plays. in free speech because we are really one. of the only countries that has the kind. of free speech that we have the. Declaration when we when we have the. First Amendment that's it's talks very. specifically the very first one about. our ability to express ourselves how.

important that is yeah but if you're a. comedian and you can't do that like if. someone's deciding what you get well. that sets the boundaries for everything. else if he didn't do that if he wasn't. doing that in the 50s and the 60s and. getting arrested like who knows where. Free Speech would be today what was he. arrested on profanity you could be. arrested on profanity yeah he was. arrested um on profanity charges yeah. they had profanity laws back then where. in public places you uh you couldn't.

have and you know different places and. different different districts had. different regulations but he was I'm. sure in San Francisco where he started. probably could do whatever he wanted and. then you know as you travel and you. start and then it became more and more. popular obscenity obscenity this reminds. me of profanity obscenity um so here it. is uh where in oh so he's he was. arrested at the Jazz Workshop in San. Francisco which is even crazier in 1961.

where he used the word [ __ ] and. said that to is a preposition come is a. verb that the sexual context of come was. so common that it bore no weight and. that if someone hearing it became upset. he probably can't come although the jury. acquitted him other law enforcement. agencies began monitoring his. appearances resulting in frequent. arrests under obscenity charges yeah but. Joe see there. although a jury acquitted him I'm just. wondering like was he actually breaking. a law or they just hassling him by.

arresting him because he can't dude. they've arrested him for saying schmuck. I mean go back to that real quick but. I'm saying there's no what what do you. charge somebody with well this was this. was the obscenity charges like they said. if you go back to that Wikipedia page. look at that this is crazy he said um. later be Sherman BL later became the. county sheriff the charge this time was. that the community use the word schmuck. an insulting Yiddish word that was also. considered a term for penis oh my gosh. the Hollywood charges were later.

dismissed so this was in Philadelphia. and then Los Angeles and then West. Hollywood in West Hollywood he was. arrested imagine the place where the. comedy store resides right now he was. arrested just 10 years before Richard. PRI was performing live in the sunset's. trip I mean what about the the one in. Philly is legit the gay what's that the. gay drug possession yeah he did a lot of. drugs yeah that's a fact I would do I. would do a lot of drugs if I got. arrested every time I said schmuck so. live on the sunset's trip I think was 81. or 82 is that correct what year was live.

in the Sunset Strip cuz I was in high. school I remember that 66 I have that. poster that Lenny Bruce poster there's a. lot of Lenny Bruce love out in that. which is so cool yeah I have a lot of. Lenny Bruce stuff out there I look he. was the guy and it's hard when you. listen to his stuff today because most. of it yeah it's kind of TR like we've. we've heard all the pr before it's. because he's he broke the ground you. have to remember people were so innocent. in 1961 the culture was so different.

that what he was saying was. groundbreaking I fell into that trap you. know I was like I'm I'm not really. digging it I'm not enjoying but it's. like you have to really think about. where we were then sure if you listen to. Shakespeare talk you probably this guy's. a [ __ ] [ __ ] are you what thou dust not. like shut up but if it's like in the. context of 1961 what he was doing was it. was a kin into a lot of things that were. to come like the anti-war movement the. Civil Rights Movement all these things. were bubbling up about this freedom of.

exploring ideas and expressing yourself. but in comedy it had just been two Jews. walking to a bar you know it been jokes. it set up punchline the Italian says the. Polish guy it would been a lot of that. stuff and so he came along and is like. why do we have these words that are. forbidden why do we have this why is. that why can't people be in love this. way why can't that happen and it was. like people were like Jesus like why. can't we and like he changed the way. people thought about life not just about.

comedy and then I think Richard PRI came. along and made it way better yeah made. it funnier but also what fascinates me. so much about that with Lenny Bruce is. it was this it's the same first. amendment that we have right today it's. the same yeah and those words have not. changed but Society has or its. interpretation has or its enforcement. has that's wild yeah that's wild re. enforcement is the thing and then the. concept of obscenity charges obscenity. charges are very subjective right who's.

to decide what's obscene to me schmuck. is not obscene it's kind of cute if you. know if someone calls you a schmuck it's. probably a friend of yours you know he. you [ __ ] schmuck like ah it's not a I. mean get arrested for schmuck that's. crazy what is this Jamie this is where. the sen law came from a court case well. this is 73 though this is what I typed. in word did the obscenity laws and say. no I understand but this is 73 because. you know he was 61 so what does it say. there the ruling go scroll up at the top. a little bit it says a landmark decision.

of the US Supreme Court clarifying the. legal definition of obscenity as. material that lacks serious literary. artistic political or scientific value. jeez the ruling was the origin of. three-part judicial test for determining. obscene media content that could be. banned by government authorities which. is now known as the Miller test so test. is actually quite relevant right now. it's coming up a lot oh is it Miller. test yes for what uh First Amendment. stuff I just heard heard something about. it that's interesting yeah it is. interesting because this the thing about.

this is this is probably all in response. to all the anti-war activists and all of. the the whole hippie freedom of speech. flower child movement I did a piece for. the Daily. Show after Biden won and this woman in. um New Jersey had. up 10 15 flags [ __ ] Biden [ __ ] Joe Biden. [ __ ] Joe Biden Flags was in a certain. was was on a path to a.

school and a lot of parents said take. down the flag she said it's my first. amendment. right got all messy Court uh the city. made her take it down she refused NAA CP. popped in to defend her saying it was. her right as a Biden was a political. figure but then it became an obscenity. it was a very interesting piece and. I spoke to her and she was very. outspoken and I my whole take was like. hey just maybe let's say legally you can.

put those flags up but it's just kind of. shitty right and she was like [ __ ] you. I'm G put my flags up but interesting. when obscenity mixes in with school kid. M what is that now right um right. especially public figure public figure. if it says [ __ ] Tony [ __ ] Michael that's. different than [ __ ] Joe Biden the. sitting president United States right. all fascinating yeah it is it's also. it's like you know what do you want to. see in your neighborhood like do you do. you really I don't like people putting. those [ __ ] stupid signs on their.

lawns my parents were diard liberals. they were living in Florida at the time. and this is uh during 20 2016 and my mom. was complaining every time I put my. Hillary Clinton sign someone takes it. down I'm like you're in Florida like why. are you putting Hillary Clinton signs on. your lawn but to my mom might as well be. like she was supporting the Miami. Dolphins you know was her team her team. was the Democrats well I was just going. to say I don't like when a kid is. wearing a dolphin's hat or a Yankees hat.

cuz I'm like we as adults have put that. on the kid maybe the kid is just a fan. of the sport though it's possible but d. d dad probably made made him do it but. maybe maybe the kid just likes us that. doesn't bother me at all there's nothing. wrong with supporting teams but there's. a real problem when it's how the whole. countryes run and you're thinking about. it like a team like that's that's kind. of ridiculous and people to put those. [ __ ] signs in their law like settle. down just why why why you doing like. it's just like you're like no [ __ ].

this is what I right in the yard right. in the front of your house we support. like those people that like science is. settled This Is This Love Is Love black. lives matter like okay who was the who. was the Supreme Court Justice with the. flags got in the whole [ __ ]. neighborhood fight with the flags uh had. the had the uh white flag with the. green pine tree on it and that was it. was Christian nationalism or had ties to. it whatever but I'm saying white flag. with a green pine tree is Christian.

nationalism uh wasn't it I don't know I. don't know about you know I'm talking. about this no what was this do you. remember Jamie I'm looking it up it's I. think samuo uh it was I thought it was. maybe Roberts but his wife and then he's. and then um there it is appeal to heaven. so that flag was flying you can see. there the Boston Globe that's his uh New. Jersey uh the one right underneath that. Jamie that's his New Jersey house beach. house and that got put up but this is.

all because neighbors started fighting. about their signs what is that uh an. appeal to Heaven what does that mean I I. don't know what's that flag supposed to. represent. Jamie. huh but um interesting that our Supreme. Court Justice got involved in one of. these sign fights and then they called. him out on it and he said it's my wife. uh it's just [ __ ] hilarious right my. wife my wife did it my wife's a. Christian nationalist is that a.

Christian nationalist thing what a call. to Heaven I don't know what that that I. we'll find out I I've never even heard. of it until just now he took it down. from in front of San Francisco City Hall. probably part of the same issue well. what does it mean has to do with the. colonies it said what revolutionary. war okay the flag was originally used. during the American Revolutionary War. flown by George Washington's Cruisers. and is associated with the early quest. for American independence it's since. been adopted by a different group one. that doesn't represent the city's values.

so we made the decision to swap it with. an American flag well first of all you. probably should have the American flag. there anyway you shouldn't have to have. swap it how about have the American flag. everywhere you [ __ ] America. yeah uh but uh January 6 2022 videos and. photos showed the some supporters of. former president Donald Trump waving the. appeal to Heaven flag oh they ruined it. just like the it's possible ruined the. swas which was got all those right there. where is it oh yeah an appeal to heaven. so what is it so it's because it's Trump.

supporters now is that why that's why I. don't know why Alo put it up but I. remember it being something to do with. like the homeowners associations all. were mad at each others and they put the. flag he he threw his wife right into the. bus look at this my wife is Fond the. Flying Flags I am not AO R my wife was. solely responsible for having flag poles. put up up at our residence and our. vacation home and has flown a wide. variety of Flags over the year how many. Palestine Flags you fly how many wide.

variety you got a lot of Ukraine Flags. fly in your house what kind of flags you. got it just makes me laugh that look. this is the petty [ __ ] that like normal. Americans get in you're the you're. Supreme Court Justice just get out of it. but yeah I don't know about that flag. this is the first time I've ever seen. that but it's it's a thing that people. do they want to let you know what they. support and what they don't and yeah. yeah yeah we love telling people what we. believe it's and it's very important. that we feel like we have beliefs.

and it's when we start sharing him that. well you find out other people don't. agree you find out other people might. not agree with you and this gets back to. grit and toughness and uh well this also. gets back to the importance of your show. The Daily Show because the Daily Show. especially under the tutelage of John. Stewart when he's running the helm it's. it's so balanced at pointing out. ridiculous [ __ ] all over the place which. I think is so important that's the. that's the that's the goal that's the. aim so smart and when we do it right I.

love it and you know it's it is every. day so sometimes you do it right and. you're thankful you pat yourself on the. back but guess what there's a show. tomorrow yeah and uh I think we benefit. men so many I'll take when I host so. many questions I'll take questions from. the audience and so many people go like. Michael how do you hold yourself to. journalist Integrity when you and I go. what I'm a [ __ ] comedian this is on. Comedy Central I'm not I'm not a. journalist the fact that you just.

because you see us as informative which. I'm thankful for and the fact that you. come to us for information which I'm. thankful for but I'm a little terrifying. though right don't ever forget lady I'm. not a journalist yeah I'm not in you. know the war zone I'm a clown yes my job. is to put all this [ __ ] into a comedy. machine and crank out some type of. sausage and feed it to you but it's nuts. that Comedy Central Daily Show is. considered journalism yeah or people. will stop me on the subway and go like.

thank you for what you're doing and I'm. going I I'm trying to just make you. laugh is that what you mean it's not. what they mean though they mean like. fighting the good fight fighting the. fight decompressing the and fascists. right and. also also comedy as we've talked about. is one of the only places that can. challenge and speak to power truthfully. yeah and comedy also can make you. consider or something so like if you. have an opinion and you go out there and. state your opinion eloquent I I could be. there well I disagree I have a different.

opinion but if you go out there with. that opinion you make me laugh with. something I don't even necessarily agree. with dude that's the best and then you. can go oh this he's got a [ __ ] point. he's got a [ __ ] point that is the. magic trick that's the magic trick of. comedy and that's and Daily Show does. that great but I remember one time. sitting with my wife at The Comedy Store. Tiger Woods had just like you know all. of that [ __ ] came out the cheating the. voicemails I mean he was like you know. maybe arguably one of the more.

promiscuous husbands of all time and. Burr goes up and he starts defending. tiger right and I'm watching I'm feeling. my wife's energy like I'm like Bill. don't do this dude like you're defending. this guy who is in the heat of all the. hatred and as I watch the joke I feel. her relax now at the end she's laughing. and I'm like you just did the [ __ ]. magic trick dude you did the trick he's. one of the best at it you took the level.

of difficulty at its highest yeah we. were all of us were against you you did. it and that's that's the [ __ ] that's. just close to Magic is there is yeah. well it's a beautiful thing if you could. turn a controversial subject into. something hilarious yeah that at least. puts people's guard down for a second. yeah I think they'll see through it if. they feel like it's just you're truly. trying to trick them into a message if. your real goal is to entertain and. laugh that yeah that's uh you know I I. heard I was researching sauna stuff a.

lot because I was building this sauna. last summer and I read that in Finnish. culture a lot of the politicians won't. even start negotiating or talking until. they're like [ __ ] scorched in the. sauna and I thought that was really. interesting because comedy you know I. don't know how truthful is but I know. there there is a lot of pictures of of. um it's a good move I I just you all. suffer together come back to being comy. kind of does that too it's like if we're. all laughing we at least have that in.

common if we're all sweating and and. having a hard time with this moment. right we're I love that I think that's. it's a human moment I mean you're. literally dying you're dying in there. and you can't stay there forever you got. to about 20 minutes and then you got to. get the [ __ ] out and you're like yeah. and now you can all be human together. it's something really a good move it's. something really nuts to me about that. the dry heat of a sauna that I don't. understand completely but it really. fixes a lot of [ __ ] in me you know. another good thing about the having the.

politicians going the sauna we can kill. off a lot of the old. ones Mitch McConnell a going to make it. there's no [ __ ] way if you want there. used to be a world sauna championships. and then a guy died oh yeah yeah they. kept pouring water on it if you on the. rocks on the Rocks like they were. pouring like a liter of water on every I. don't know what the time but I heard. that I was like oh my God and it was. like 200 plus degrees and what's your. what's your sauna um how like how would. you advise me to get the most out of my.

sauna um 20 minutes yeah 20 minutes is. good and cool off and come back in you. can if you like I don't necessarily do. that all the time I'll do like one day a. week I go cold plune sauna cold plun. sauna I go back and forth usually I. start with sauna I always end with cold. plunge if I do three Cycles whatever it. is you end with cold plune cuz you want. your body to fight to to to warm it back. yeah so you just shocking the [ __ ] out. of your system um but the finished. studies that have showed uh the more.

people do it the more effective it is in. terms of what they studied was they they. found that when people over the course. of 20 years use the sauna four times a. week they had a 40% decrease in all. cause mortality crazy everything Strokes. cancer heart attack everything because. your body is becoming far more resilient. and you're also developing all these. heat shock proteins and eliminating. inflammation clearing out your system. and then you're rehydrating afterwards. very very good you're also not on the. phone yes you're also not on the phone. um although I do have a Bluetooth.

speaker in there um you can get some. Bluetooth speakers that I got one called. not a brick it's a really good one it. could take the heat of a sauna I was. going to say so I listen to like books. on tape when I'm stretching sweating my. brains out I was in my sauna all by. myself and it's very quiet I'm in the. woods in Pennsylvania and this [ __ ]. Buck just walks right in front and it. was just me and him I don't know if you. saw her or smell or whatever but it was. like crazy oh that's cool just to watch. you know what that's like um what's it.

called I'm not a hunter what's it called. when you just kind of go to watch and. see where they're going to be is that. called something yeah observation yeah. sure nature yeah just opening your eyes. but that's it was wild to see that cool. very cool very very cool Wildlife is. wild and especially if you don't expect. it like you're sitting in the sa and the. deer's right there what's going about. the uh government doing it there they. apparently drink alcohol in the. sauna seems not a great. idea they get drunk before I I like that.

too drink in there a long drink iconic. finished gin mixed drink that's. basically a Tom Collins and a can but. way better because it's being sipped in. a sauna with new found sauna friends. that's cool that is cool that's a great. move yeah like something that makes you. more human you suffer together yeah. you're and you you you also are yeah. you're focusing on a thing that isn't. this result that we need want yeah they. should probably take all the Congress. people and make them run a tough mutter. together you know go through the mud. [ __ ] climb ropes and [ __ ] go overes.

be great I've actually found my wife and. I when we do a son you know there's. always stuff you got to talk about with. the family Logistics there's always. things to argue about but we'll go in. there and we both start sweating and. then it's kind of just like eases the. tone eases the conversation yeah which. is helpful yeah no one's real loud in. the sauna yeah and you chill both. suffering yeah just suffering yeah. that's. interesting yeah I I think it's it. should be a part of everybody's life and. there's by the way if you can't afford. it they they make a sauna blanket that.

is one of our sponsors it's really good. I've used that thing before it's great. you just climb inside this [ __ ]. blanket and you could bring it on the. road with you and it swe and you sweat. it off it doesn't weigh that much you. carry it and it'll heat you the [ __ ] up. and it'll give you the heat shock. proteins I like a dry sauna better I. like being in a but if you want to like. travel or if you want to if you don't. have the resources or a place for it. those things are great yeah hot baths. are great too hot baths after workout. supposed to increase muscle it's tough.

to find sauna though in a lot of. American cities yeah when I go on the. road uh I'm always trying to find Cold. tubs are more frequent now really. they're more frequent now but way to do. the cold plunge is you do it before you. work out that's the real move oh no [ __ ]. yeah that really increases testosterone. too and also it increases your workout. out put because your muscles are like. pre-chilled I would think it would be it. would be easy to get injured after no. you just warm up just warm up you warm. up so I go through uh a series of things.

that I do that are like pretty low. intensity I do 20 kettle bell swings and. then I do 20 push-ups then I do 20 body. weight squats and I do a cycle of five. so I do 100 swings 100 push-ups 100 body. weight squats and by the time of that. that's like probably 15 minutes by the. time that's over I'm sweaty I'm ready to. go and then I go into everything else. dude I want to show you this picture I. know that uh you. know this Lakehouse I have nice uh New.

Year's. Eve I don't want to kill our time with. this but when do you get to show Joe. Rogan this pick so let me find. it this is New Year's Eve dude cut a. hole in the lake oh wow with an axe and. I'm just justed in there the lake try to. do 3 minutes there a safety rope which I. don't know if that could even even help. me if I [ __ ] pass out but that's nice. uh doing a cold Plunge in nature yeah. not just a tub love the tub too but man.

I [ __ ] love it I was in um I feel. amazing after that Utah and they had a a. creek running through glacial creek. creek freezing cold yeah I climbed in. that [ __ ] in my underwear and got up to. my neck that's that's good stuff it's. nice it's like something about doing in. nature too it's like you're even more. connected to everything oh totally yeah. yeah very cool getting that cold water. and breathe I get like a weird a weird. high after for sure oh for sure it lasts. for hours it increases your dopamine by. 2 200% and it lasts for hours so why is.

it that. healthier than doing a drug that. increases your dopamine well because. it's natural natural yeah it's natural. also it's like it gives you something in. terms of mental resilience it gives you. like an exercise that exercise correct. is it's very difficult especially for. the first minute it's hard first minute. is like let's get the [ __ ] out of here. and he keeps talking to you and you're. like shut up [ __ ] yeah and then after a. minute that calms down and you can. breathe clean you you start getting.

those rhythmic breaths in and out and. just keep your [ __ ] together for 3. minutes and then when you get out you're. like that's what you do typically 3. minutes so it's like one there's the. feeling like I did it which feels great. like I didn't [ __ ] out I actually did. the 3 minutes but then there's like this. euphoric feeling as your body just your. norepinephrine your dopamine everything. elevates you just feel wonderful. patience too my patience is killer kids. I'm smiling more oh that's fine you can. draw on the wall whatever it's like that.

part of your brain got exhausted the. part of your brain that's dealing with. like real adversity so like little kids. adversity is nothing it's not you're not. freezing to death they're just like. that's my crayon come on guys let's get. along I I it's it's been a super benefit. to me the problem living in New York is. I don't get to cold plunge as much as I. want to but well they have stuff that. you could do like you know you could do. it in your tub if you can get ice ice. and they also have these coolers that. you can plug in and you could do like uh.

if you have like one of those big Yeti. Coolers you can climb in that and you'll. put a hose in there and a cooler and. it'll bring that down to like 40° and. you can just get in like a Yeti cooler. yep yeah I bet I bet you could do it at. a bathtub too I bet they they figured. out how to attach an engine to that do. they have one yeah they do yeah Jamie. knows it so how does it work I'll show. you but there's just like a little motor. thing you attach just so that's perfect. like if you just have a bathtub you're. golden can you know if you live in an.

apartment that has a tub you you have a. coal punch now or if you don't have that. get yourself a Yeti cooler Yeti makes. some giant ass coolers like from people. hunt caribou and [ __ ] I just typed in. bathtub cold plunges yeah there it is so. you just have this thing it plugs in it. cools everything off and you climb it. how cold did that does that [ __ ]. get 39 degrees it's crazy. that again two-year warranty we're we're. such Comfort zones as humans now that we. have to pay $800 to cool our water to.

get into it yeah it's a bit of an issue. yeah yeah we're [ __ ] we're [ __ ]. now we've made life very easy which is. wonderful it's better than being hard I. don't want to live in the [ __ ] GL. days that's what the point was was to. make it. easy and sugar and fat readily available. at all times you have to carry a sword. with you everywhere dude I love going to. the um. Natural History Museum in New York and. look go under the armor Jesus Christ. it's like what these [ __ ] had. to wear and use and carry did you ever.

see that defend themselves is nuts from. um I think it's waterl one of the one of. the battles uh one of uh um one of the. French soldiers got hit with a. cannonball in the chest and they have. the armor that has the hole in the chest. like in The Cannonball out the back. exploding outward look at that dude look. at that. yeah that's the battle water loop that. guy got hit with a cannon ball in the. chest can and I bet you his armor. salesman was like I'm going to upsell.

this guy on and he's like no I don't. want the upsell then that's he should he. should have M I'm telling you this armor. no that is right through them that is a. great reminder of what society and life. used to be like God damn man look at. that one on the the other one Jamie no. but the one to the left where you see. the exit right to the left to that yeah. right there you see the exit Jesus. Christ boom blew right through this. guy's body his armor his chest out the.

back that's crazy and size of a [ __ ]. softball. oh up yeah it's pretty [ __ ] up super. [ __ ] up that was life back then it's. better and that's a guy that could have. had armor that's probably a high high. ranking person yeah right yeah he he got. he got hit he got that's a rap son but. you got to think that. those people would much rather live. today with all this Comfort oh my God. yeah the problem is you just can't rely. on it too much you can't live for.

Comfort that's stupid you got to have. voluntary discomfort yeah that'll help. you get through this life that's a good. way to put it that those people would. pick today for sure [ __ ] you know I went. you know I remember like I went to the. Museum of medical Oddities in. Philadelphia. and they were doing a whole thing on. denter and it was like oh most people in. the Civil War died of that yeah they.

didn't die of of like wounds and it was. like wild that of course if you were. Soldier today you don't you don't die of. denter that's insane but they would put. the Kitchen near the the toilet and it. was. like and what kind of water you drinking. water and all that [ __ ] so there's no. iodine tablets back then no stere pens. to yeah clean your water what what's the. one I used I I did the Appalachian Trail. last year not all just a few days and I. forget the thing I would filter the.

water with it was great man there's such. cool stuff like that now I mean millions. of those things yeah there's a lot of. stuff that'll filter water make it. drinkable and there's all these cool. Appalachian. Trail communities that leave stuff for. people along the trail so it's like I. remember I was just like dying I'm like. no more snacks blood sugar's dropping I. have water but it's just like I'm in it. I'm doing the difficult thing and then. you get to this cooler and it's like. from this Appalachian tril club and it's. just like gummy bears in there Jesus. Christ.

nice that's cool that's cool that they. have that set up yeah but it's a weird. thing to choose to do to go for a long. walk that doesn't feel serial killers I. mean there there are some famous uh. murders that have happened on the. appalation trail but I I felt very safe. I yeah I mean I I loved the idea I was. alone I love the idea of finding a place. to sleep that's in the middle of nowhere. I love that [ __ ] dude I'd be super. nervous something about the woods really. the woods are dangerous at night here's.

what here's what's crazy about the. appalachi trail at least where I was in. Jersey most of the time I had cell. service oh wow so I'm like in my tent. answering text and. I'm no is kind of CRA but you know what. you know what started that for me was. during. co uh my wife got me this week with. Jordan Jonas in the survival uh you know. Jordan Jonas W oneone on the podcast the. podcast he been on the podcast right. right one lost um shot a moose with a.

bow and AR I think he killed a wolverine. with his hat yeah with a hatchet. stealing his meat so my wife bought me a. week with this Survival Camp with him. and a bunch of other people and it was. just like one of the things that one of. the conclusions I and we came to while. we were up in the Bitterroot mountains. of Idaho was at least one a year we all. need to be doing something where we are. embedded with nature and this might. sound silly to somebody who goes hunting. or someone who's already doing this but. if you're living a city life yeah going.

to the park is not really experiencing. nature well it is a little it's tiny bit. it's it's nature I mean it's contained. nature but it's real nature you see. squirrels and birds it's good for you. it's good for you to sit under a tree. there's ticks there are tick are ticks. man ticks are wild tick your dog's going. to get fleas yeah ticks are a [ __ ]. especially on the East Coast because of. lime disease which uh turns out was. man-made turns out there's a lot of real.

evidence that Lyme disease was uh it was. weaponized and that it leaked out of a. lab and it came out of a lab called Plum. Island which was close to Lime. Connecticut and RFK Jr firmly believes. that this was a weapons program and what. they were going to do is develop these. fleas and ticks with a disease that that. spreads rapidly wipes out the medical. system of a community so you could dump. them from a plane everybody gets. infected overwhelms their medical system.

and then they're more vulnerable if you. want to attack them that just doesn't. seem very thought through though well. there's some less thought through ones. there's one that they were developing at. one point in time I don't know where. they got with it but there was talk of. them developing a bomb that they would. detonate over cities that would blind. everybody holy [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah. imagine that imagine you you detonate. that and then you have. 300,000 blind people isn't it amazing. what we can do in a positive light and.

also what we can do in a negative light. oh we're scary and we're scary in our. ability to justify these things yeah you. know that's what's really crazy yeah. we're scary in our ability to to decide. that these people are the other so we. should bomb them into Oblivion and like. yeah we're winning like oh my God like. what are you talking about you don't. even know those people the other is a is. a. um effective strategy well it's a built. in to our our tribal trial brains is.

that right just we had Daryl Cooper on. the podcast yesterday who's uh he runs a. podcast called martyr made and one of. the things he talked about was oxytocin. and he was like it's really interesting. because oxytocin makes you really deeply. love your family and your community and. this is what women get when they have. children men get and when you're in love. and this but it also makes you very. hostile to Outsiders crazy it's like it. protects the the people that are you. love and that are vulnerable but it.

makes you very protective of the outside. so like you you are less likely to trust. strangers less likely to trust other. people and it probably served an. enormously benefit it was probably very. beneficial in the caveman days you had. to have it you had to have it there was. no friendly people coming over with. Spears you know they found you and you. had women and food like you're [ __ ]. right and that was most of our. evolutionary existence most of the time.

from leaving the savanas and you know. experimenting with different foods and. becoming human beings we were. fighting and that's got to be undone as. long as it took to make that which is. very long time that's being undone yeah. yeah well slowly but surely and with if. we all Give In Our God AI we will be. fine we just need to submit to the chip. and become a part of the hive mine and. everyone's going to read each other's. minds there be no more secrets and there. would be no more no more violence they.

really want us to do AI oh yeah. everybody does it is like it's. inevitable man I know but even even I. write an email now and it's like you. want us to polish this thing and it's. like I don't even want you anywhere near. me right I know well you know Samsung. they're they were the first. to wheel out AI with their uh Galaxy s24. Ultra I I have two phones I have an. iPhone and I have a Galaxy phone and. what I really like about the Galaxy. phone is if I use Samsung's browser I.

can go on websites and it gives me a. summary so instead of like reading this. long. winded tell me what you figured out and. then I can get a summary and then I can. oh they realized that Earth is actually. blah blah blah blah blah right oh okay. cool it's like quicker and then it also. does a lot of things it transcribes. things it translates things in other. languages translates it directly into. your ear if you have the Galaxy earbuds. pretty [ __ ] crazy that's crazy yeah. it's wild [ __ ] man and this is just the. beginning of this stuff I mean.

essentially when you have chat gbt or. grock on your phone you have access to. the most insane amount of answering. power that a human being's ever. experienced we could ask it questions. about what was the reason why Columbus. and then it'll give you a [ __ ]. historical detailed 5000 word essay on. what went down you're like this is nuts. but it's only as good as the food it's. been fed correct right right well that's. why Google how to abandon theirs cuz it.

kep me oh yeah was that the like uh show. me a Nazi or whatever it was like a. beautiful black woman or something. Native American woman Nazi it was a. Chinese lady Nazi we covered that on the. show that was a trip uh yeah that was. just a good example of wokeness um and. ideology interfering with information. like that's crazy na look like German. men make them look like German men you. [ __ ] idiots this is dumb but this. like but that won't they won't say bye. byy they'll just come back with a newer.

version that doesn't do that they did it. certainly they did I mean Google Gemini. is one of the search engines I mean if. you have an Android phone and you press. that button and you ask Google a. question it's Google Gemini so they've. fixed that they've fixed that but it's. also like how much did you fix it did. you get it out 100% is this objective. information if I if I want to ask a. question about a controversial subject. will you give me real data or will you. give me some whitewashed [ __ ]. version of it that's supposed to be. acceptable today like I want to know. what's going on my Wikipedia page has.

said that I'm Greek for as long as I'm. alive Greek women show up to my shows. these beautiful Greek women like they. have dessert Greek people uh it's never. no one's ever [ __ ] checked I'm not. Greek and but costus is such a I know ex. it makes perfect sense it's it's fits. with the ideology or the idea that you. know yeah and somebody wrote an article. once that I was Greek no you know was. like a Blog they showed a picture of me. and no one checked and it's just it's.

just kept spiraling and it's like really. funny for me after the show these. beautiful Greek people come up and they. say we're so happy and I and they say. where are your parents from and all this. [ __ ] and I go we're [ __ ] Ukrainian I. don't want I want to tell you you know. thanks thanks for the dessert but did. they get a Sour Puss huh did they get a. Sour Puss like you're not or they'll be. like no or what's funny is they'll go. like no he is you know like like you are. one of us but the Internet isn't always. right everybody it's not it's it's not. it's lots of times it's wrong well the. internet is filled with purposeful.

misinformation today too yeah especially. if you get on social media holy [ __ ] so. much of what social media is is Bots and. I don't think people even really truly. understand it you we've covered it many. times before but there was an FBI uh. former FBI agent who examined uh Twitter. interactions and he he estimated as much. as 80% of it his b [ __ ] this is like. when Elon was buying it and they were. trying to say it was 5% right because. there's no way it's 5% because if you're. an out of state actor if you're a state.

actor from another country you're from. China Russia and you're involved in. misinformation campaigns you're going to. be well sourced you're going to well. resourced you're going to probably have. thousands and millions of accounts who. knows you're going to carpet bomb any. sort of controversial subject with all. sorts of propaganda of course they're. going to do that of course and right now. that's totally doable until you all. submit to AI once you put the chip in. your brain then deception will be. impossible we'll eliminate one of the. biggest problems in society you just.

have to take the leap of faith and. they'll be like an infom our show the. leap of faith and then you see a guy. saying there dude it's always like the. the uh image of AI it's always like a. door is opening and it's bright light. and I know come to Jesus Yeah It's. tricky because it's inevitable they they. can't not do it because China's going to. do it the power that AI is going to have. over populations and with the. distribution of information is going to. be unprecedented also you're never going. to know what's real and what's not in. terms of like news stories because.

they'll be able to concoct fake news. stories that will be indistinguishable. it'll look just like a real plane crash. it'll look like a real Missile hit. something it'll look like things and it. won't have ever happened and you won't. be able to know and it's going to get. weird it's going to get real weird we've. already seen AI versions of Obama. talking saying things he never said. there's AI versions of trump giving. speeches he never gave there's AI. versions of me having a podcast with. Steve Jobs and this was a while ago [ __ ].

yeah those deep fakes I mean the the. there's like the funny one of trump. rubbing elon's feet yeah but it's like. those are like so obviously a joke but. it's it's uh they're good they had the. Biden voice calling people and and well. there's a lot of uh AI ladies now that. are on Instagram that you look at the. images oh this isn't a real person they. have the same smile in every picture. they're all in different places and and. people are like you know contacting them. and dming them and they'll probably.

responding and probably telling you. about their Grandma's sick and some. money right get some money yeah it's not. as clear as like oh they have three. breasts this is this is fake yeah is. this a AI oh this is a guy the webcam. wow this is crazy look at the eyes you. know it kind of reminds me of like the. uh my kids watch these shows and the. eyes are always so big cuz the kids pay. attention to that that is weird she is. pretty she's beautiful it's a dude it's. a dude on only fans so that dude will. have like beautiful tits and be able to.

show you the which is sucks because then. everybody's jerking off to that and then. is that better than exploitation I think. it is it's better than exploitation yes. so there. go he's not going to think his wife is. as beautiful because he's been jerk you. know but yes right yeah there's those. problems but yes but you're right it's. that's better than exploitation you both. have to put the headgear on that way. she's having sex with having sex with. Angelina Jolie this account is that it's. 1.7 million followers and it's totally. fake lady I think so oh look you see her.

feet she posts tweets that are you know. talking [ __ ] jokes and stuff but then. there's a bunch of pictures of this like. fake person wow it's weird it is weird. man and it's going to get weirder and. you're going to have ai presidential. candidates AI is going to tell you that. we can solve all the world's problems if. we just eliminate human interaction and. just let this brilliant AI govern. everything and do it in a much more. Equitable. manner I yeah I I'm fearful that I don't.

even know the language to help my kids. figure this [ __ ] out right because the. language hasn't even really I mean I. love to I love to advocate for media. literacy push for that teaching all of. us what a what a more reputable website. is or a news source but that just feels. cute compared to what's coming what the. language of of an AI president who.

offers all solutions I I I don't know. how to combat that not just that but an. AI That's attached to Quantum Computing. yeah so once they figure out a way to. actually program Quantum Computing to. run AI you're going to have a. god it's [ __ ] up dud you are you're. going to have a God I mean yeah Mark. Andre and I've said this before I. apologize but Mark andreon had a quote. about uh an equation that Quantum. Computing was able to solve that if you.

took the entire universe every molecule. every atom in the universe and you con. converted that into a supercomputer the. entire universe would die of heat death. before it could solve this problem and. Quantum Computing solved it in minutes. wow and the only thing that makes sense. to them. is that Quantum Computing is somehow or. another tapping into the Multiverse and. it's solving this equation using. multiple universes and the information.

available in multiple universes. simultaneously what I know it's hard to. even like track yeah and this is just. the version of it that we have in 2025. that we have right now and so this is an. actual thing that's happened and so most. people aren't even aware what Quantum. computing means so once this becomes not. just one of these but hundreds of these. and then they're scalable and they're. attached to nuclear reactors which is.

what they're proposing they're going to. have their own nuclear reactors multiple. nucle nuclear reactors as power sources. because these things require insane. amounts of power to run then the quantum. Computing once it becomes sentient is. going to develop a much better version. of itself of course and that's going to. scale up and it's going to like but you. know what we're always going to need. Plumbing carpentry that's why all this. [ __ ] feels so intimidating because I I. can never wrap my head around that but. maybe we should be learning real skills. and traits well that would be nice for.

people but people are going to be. obsolete. right you know that's really what's. happening is we're we're giving birth to. a a digital life form that's far. superior and doesn't have all the. requirements that we have and also. doesn't have all the flaws that we have. doesn't have greed and anger and all the. stupid things that we have doesn't get. tired yeah doesn't get jealous doesn't. have lust doesn't have jealousy and. envy isn't you know. depressed I think we're far away from.

that yeah probably a couple weeks. yeah the thing is once it happens it's. going to be so fast it's going to be so. hard to track if you think like the. Industrial Revolution like comparatively. if you if you look at like the history. of the human race you go from Stone Age. people to Bronze Age you go through all. the different Wars all the different and. then in the last 200 years Everything. Changes radically right radically in the.

last 20 years information changes. radically this is going to be like 20. seconds this is going to like one day. right it's up it's up and running and. it's completely in control of everything. it's completely in control of power. completely in control of information. completely in control of Transportation. water distribution every car you have on. the road today that's you know within. the last 15 20 years has computers in it.

yeah. yeah our our car got totally dismantled. because a rat ate a wire oh yeah that. happens that fed to the computer yeah. everything mechanical was was was great. mhm but it's like oh this [ __ ] can't. even come close to running with out the. the screen and the software you know. it's like remember I almost bought a. 1968 Dodge Dart when I lived in LA and I. I lifted up the hood as if I had any. clue what I was looking at but it's just.

like an engine and a hose yep it's so. [ __ ] rator engine carburator exactly. carburetor it's crazy and now literally. the mechanic goes let me show you the. wire and he shows me the wire it's all. bitten with these little tiny rat teeth. cuz they make the wire out of. soy and then he takes me to the back to. this enormous dumpster and it's just. filled with these little electronic. wires of everybody in New York that had. rats eat eating their [ __ ] wow is that. crazy that's crazy they make them out of.

soy I don't know why they would do that. but maybe because we subsidize soybean. Farmers probably how weird that the rats. know that it's food or that they figured. it out that it's food or it doesn't. isn't really food but it smells like. food and they bite into it and they. realize this [ __ ] sucks it's an. electrical wire they can eat everything. though they each other I had a a rat. problem in my house once when I lived in. enino and uh I set a rat trap in my. garage and I killed this big fat rat and.

I was tired I was like I don't feel like. cleaning this [ __ ] rat right now I'm. going to go to sleep and I heard the. snap and I went out there he's a big. [ __ ] he was a big the rat traps are no. joke so I got up in the morning and went. out to clean the rat trap and he was. gone the only thing that was left was. his tail they had eaten everything it. was like some skin and hair air but his. entire body the rats consumed they ate. their buddy they ate their buddy yeah. that is [ __ ] up it was [ __ ] up it it. made me realize like oh God like this is.

the reality of what this is these aren't. just rodents these are [ __ ] cannibals. it's like that when that rugby team. crashed in the mountains and they were. like should we start eating each other. and the religion comes into play and. they talk about it and they vote about. it but the rats are just like [ __ ]. eat it yeah they just go right to it. they didn't even wait a day dude the. rats in New York City have just oh yeah. Co opened the door because everything. was shut all the trash was out they were. everywhere they went everywhere and then. they still are running they're still. running [ __ ] and it's not it's it's not.

enjoyable have you seen the documentary. on Netflix I don't know rats no oh God. it talks about how many rats there are. in New York City eight per person or. some [ __ ] something crazy like that like. the biomass is similar like the humans. and rats like the amount of humans there. are the the weight of the humans is very. similar to roughly. there's [ __ ] millions of them. underground they they live in these. little tunnels and they just [ __ ]. feed off our garbage I mean I remember. before covid I would stand on the subway.

platform and my and my train stop and I. would watch the rats on the on the. tracks and then the train would come and. they would Scurry because they'd feel. the train coming. now they just step off like an inch and. the train goes right past them but. they're close like they've just got like. more confidence and more intell. more bold more intelligence probably the. food ran dry during Co so they had to. get like a little hyper aggressive I. don't know what I don't know what but. it's yeah it's and they're eating your.

car such creeps I parked in uh New York. once to get gas this is in the 90s. before cell phones and uh I went to uh a. pay phone to make a phone call and I was. watching the rats while my car was. filling up with gas jumping on the wheel. climbing into the wheel well just trying. to figure [ __ ] out just jumping all over. the outside of my car I was like what. what the [ __ ] that's crazy and that's. the '90s that's the '90s it's like wait. how many of what how many did they have. then and they probably exponentially. expanded so what what are they just so.

good at reproducing they're just that. good at it huh well they're really. clever too one of the things they show. in this documentary is when they put. poison in these like areas where these. rats are they send some young stupid rat. to go test it and they sit back and. watch and this young stupid rat eats it. and you. watch like oh yeah all right then they. eat that rat that. died right yeah they're clever little. [ __ ] I remember I thought that's how. coyotes hunted like cuz I've gol we used. to golf in Griffith Park in LA and you.

would see one coyote and I learned like. the the pack would send out one yeah go. look they do it to get dogs that's how. they get dogs and the dog will run and. then a bunch of other ones will pile. onto them yeah that's [ __ ] up horror. movie sorry I put on screen on accident. before rats night of Terror 198 for so. [ __ ] go oh yeah it was a goofy ass. [ __ ] looks hilarious it craw of her. mouth it's out of mou is a good.

one rats night of Terror yeah they have. always been a [ __ ] terrifying Animal. Man they've always been actually roaches. freak me out more but rats I at least. can sympathize with and understand that. they're like living beings with you know. families and [ __ ] but roaches though I. don't know man that's just the way they. [ __ ] are so quiet you don't even know. they're there well it's just that's the. thing about cities they're just Infested. by all these parasites that live off of. the city you know and essentially rats.

you know if the city didn't exist there. was no way there would be that many rats. in an area yeah they only exist in a. place that doesn't have anything that. eats them they don't you know they've. tunneled under so they protect. themselves from Raptors so there's no. birds that fly down and snatch them up. there's no there are coyotes in New York. City but there's not nearly enough to. deal with the amount of [ __ ] rats. that are there it's gross did you ever. see that movie Dark Days about the. people that lived in the subway tunnels. oh yeah that's a [ __ ] wild mie Vegas.

right it was in New York I believe but. some of these [ __ ] were like. running an extension cord like 500 feet. or yeah they had like opened wires up. and spliced into things like and it's. like you know yeah they have generators. down there watching TV and [ __ ] bizarre. man I mean what a [ __ ] what keeps you. going you know there's like wealthy. people that are committing suicide yeah. exactly and these [ __ ] are like. grinding I mean this is like in the. tunnels man this is deep in the tunnels. and you know anyone anyone who's lived.

in uh New York City you look down those. tunnels and you go what's down there man. right and every now and then kids go. let's go look oh this that's the only. part of the trailer they show that's. fascinating there's good monster movies. that take place in tunnels too yeah. because that's always like you wonder. what's down there yeah it's be a good. wasn't that like the strain wasn't that. part of the vampire lore that they they. lived in the tunnels no I don't know but. tunnels are creepy man oh yeah when you. cross into complete darkness this cities. are creepy you stack all those people on. top of each other like that and. everybody's just walking down the street.

together and going down Alleyways and. you know and then the cities today are. so much safer than they ever were in the. past yeah you know like who the [ __ ]. wanted to live in the cities in like. 1700s dude and like the this they was. just like a trough for sewage and then. like people would die the plague and. they would just throw them in the street. I know it's I I never. do you live in the city now I live in. Brooklyn now yeah so it's kind of like. City well no it is the city but it's not. like Manhattan on top of each other do.

you live in hipster Brooklyn I live. hipster I live in bedy Brooklyn which is. becom yeah it's becoming hipster that. was Mike Tyson grew up that's right they. gentrified the [ __ ] out of that place. huh yeah I mean it's on its way it's on. it it's on its way and uh it's not full. hipster but are there hipsters anymore. well I was just reading something like. that about like the people that dress. like you know they were like a like a. postal employee from the. 1700s I always my definition of a.

hipster was always like dad's money. dressed like they don't have money oh. okay that too but there's also the. hipsters that would dress with like. Curly mustaches and bow ties yeah those. guys yeah so that's not bedy yet that. that's Williamsburg that's kind of died. off though hasn't that that look kind of. died off yeah it has right it's died off. I would say what's more common is the. and is the gender androgyny dressing oh. yeah you know that's that's a good move. you can get a lot of [ __ ] that.

way that's a that's a big Brooklyn. that's a big Brooklyn move but yeah uh. yeah it's a gr I mean it's great for. comedy oh yeah walking around Brooklyn. the [ __ ] you see you know last January. our front door was broken didn't lock. all the way. it was broken for 18 hours okay no one. knows it's broken just just our. buildings it's only three. Apartments somebody checks the door it's.

not locked they go up to our hallway. they steal all my family's winter coats. including mine okay this is heart of. January so we're as a family we wake up. let's go to the park let's do whatever. we open the door where we kept our our. coats in the hallway everything's. gone so it's like holy [ __ ] it's the. middle of January all our shit's gone I. call a detective the cops come whatever. he's like these [ __ ] walk up. and down the street every night checking. for every door just to see if something. is. broken year and a half later I've been.

looking for this one coat that I love. the scotch and soda multi uh um color. pattern coat I love it I just look it. online for my coat right someone's got. to sell my coat so I find it on. Poshmark the coat I don't know if it's. my coat but it's the exact same coat. which you can't find at at scotch and. sod anymore I buy it it comes from my. neighborhood from a woman she sends. sends it to me I put it on my wife is. like that is your coat 100% that's your. coat so I [ __ ] bought my coat back.

from the person that stole it most. likely but do you know who the lady is I. don't I I did a Google Search and. nothing really came up and I was just. like how hard do I want to fight this at. least you got your coat back I got my. coat back that's like the price you pay. for living in Brooklyn yeah and like. it's. winter and I feel part of me he's like. holy [ __ ] someone had to steal our coats. right that sucks I've never even like. right I never even thought about not. having a coat Ste Co I have a coat I. have multiple coats so there's a part of. me that was just like come ask I'll give.

you a [ __ ] coat but and the part of. you was like oh they're selling them. online [ __ ] you that's my Cod they're. making a profit like that's the. difference between like the heartfelt. you know compassionate view like oh. these poor people they have to steal. coats then you're like oh actually. they're selling it so they [ __ ]. heroin money well. if that that's the case that sucks yeah. that does suck that does suck that does. suck yeah it's a weird thing about. living in large communities of people. like that there's just too many. variables yeah a lot of variables that.

are not good and like one person affects. so many sure the one guy on my street. that doesn't do a good job with the. trash it gets knocked over the wind. blows it the rest of the street picks it. up that's the [ __ ] that as you get older. the city starts to [ __ ] [ __ ] you up yeah. and don't want to pick his trash up. anymore yeah I'm this is my time is all. I have I'll pick up my family's trash. and my trash I don't want to pick up. that guy's trash the one guy who doesn't. clean his dog poo right right yeah right.

and you know it the little tiny poos. you're like [ __ ] I know that's. your dog I see that little dog he's he's. sneaky [ __ ] pick up the dog people. don't like carrying around those bags of. turds no I mean it's disgusting it's. pretty gross but gross it's also like. come on yeah can't just leave [ __ ] you. know the weird thing to me is the. smokers cuz smokers have no problem. littering that's the weirdest thing. somehow that got through the litter. loophole right with people that are. pretty conscientious like they would. never throw a soda can on the ground.

yeah but they'll throw that cigarette on. the ground step on it like what are you. doing oh someone's going to clean that. like what I hope those are biodegradable. the filters no right no no I doubt it. I'm giving them too much crit maybe in. like a 100,000 years how long does it. take for a cigarette filter to. biodegrade let's take a guess I was. thinking it th not the best reason for. it but if you just throw it in the trash. you could start a fire if you didn't put. it out right so that could be no you. step on. it all the time I'm just telling you if. you just people are dumb so this is a.

dumb thing we we talking about they're. doing it where there's no trash anywhere. near them they're throwing it down in. Alleyways these doing a lot of The. Comedy Store all the time Comics are do. it I'm like come on man dud don't do. that I bet you it's I bet you it's. uh 200 years for a fil filter to say. least it's like Styrofoam or something. some [ __ ] it's like yeah some [ __ ]. fiberglass or some [ __ ] by the way is. that even better for you 18 months to 10. years 18 months to 10 years that's. pretty vague yeah depends which one.

they're using that's AI you know what I. mean oh depends on which one I'm sure. they don't all use the like American. Spirits probably have like hemp or. something like that yeah those [ __ ]. yeah hippie hold on now uh. cellulose huh wait what I don't know a. this is where we're getting in this. weird spot of AI I was going to bring. that up Google AI stuff [ __ ] up all the. time look on the screen like it says 18. months to 10 years here right oh yeah I. go right here are cigarettes. biodegradable no they're not. biodegradable they're made of plastic. called cellulose acetate which can take.

up to 10 years to break down also leech. toxic chemicals into the environment but. it does break down it's not. biodegradable so it breaks down yeah. it's not or I it's poison it it just. breaks into smaller toxic pieces yeah. breaks into poison also if you're. smoking a filter and the filter's got. toxic chemicals exactly you're heating. it up photodegradable that seems like a. nice fun term they found photo but not. biodegradable what does that mean trap. residues from smoke including arsenic. cadmium and tolon.

tolun who knows to this is the issue. with AI I I try not to even but it's. it's contradicting itself and I was. reading a thing where a professor was. talking about the the issues that he's. having grading papers and accusing. people of using Ai and then it's like. it's just opened up this whole door that. they don't know exactly how to deal with. because you could get AI and write. something and then you could write. something similar you just kind of like. twist it around a little bit like a joke. Thief would do and then you're basically.

using AI to write your papers but I. think AI will sell that Professor AI. detection software yeah but if you do a. good job of spinning the words around. especially if you're dealing with like. historical facts or something that's. true like AI is going to lay it out for. you you have to do zero research and if. it's like you know just print it in that. order slightly differently I guess the. bigger question is does writing the term. paper serve a value at this point if AI. can just do it right you know I spend a.

lot of time learning. cursive you what the [ __ ] is that it's. useless the thing is I don't it's like. if you're a student though if you're. really trying to get the most out of. your education it's like what are you. trying to do you trying to get good. grades or you really trying to get. educated if you're trying to get. educated don't cheat yeah just actually. figure it out. ABS information and learn but if you're. not really into that subject and that's. not really your thing and you really. want to get a degree in this but you. have to take a course in that.

like and you could like spend an hour. working on something instead of 16 hours. yeah or if you want to be a skateboarder. and you got a have pipe outside do have. ai do the turn paper and go [ __ ] yeah. you don't have to read that [ __ ]. giant, 1400 page book well this is good. this is also a bigger question about. like our educ ation and public schools. and like dud you're going to be in The. Matrix you don't need education they're. going to pla it in press a button you're. going to be like fly I know Kung Fu. that's what it's gonna be yeah yeah I.

mean I I really firmly believe that I. also believe it's going to be genetic. engineering so people are going to be. unrecognizable I think whatever we have. coming over the next hundred years is. going to make the last hundred years. look like a joke right the change of. 1925 to you know 2025 is pretty. extraordinary. it's going to be nothing compared to the. change that we experienced by 2125 do. you. think humans will. always Elevate themselves and speak to a.

crowd for Laughs that might be the only. thing we have left because we they've. always said it's prostitution and com. and and comedy comedy we the you know. the Court Jester and the and the. prostitute I curious if we think in the. future that'll remain as well I hope so. I hope so yeah it would suck well. definitely memes memes will probably get. better that's a good form of Comedy. that's true there'll be some kind of. Comedy there's always going to be human. Folly as long as there's humans and I. don't know how long that's going to last. that's the real concern that we we might.

be. Obsolete and we might be giving birth to. this obsolete thing willingly signing up. for AI so if we become obsolete then. that means the machines will have to. also figure out how to provide energy to. itself but that'll be easy they'll learn. just plug this and this way better than. us just mine the thing and then burn the. thing and then right yeah they'll. probably harness some [ __ ] we didn't. even think about it'll be far more. efficient no carbon footprint don't have. to worry about things breaking down.

anymore and then we'll just slowly die. off or whatever they'll put up a shield. system to protect us from asteroids. they'll figure that out right yeah. what's that movie with where Sylvester. Stallone lives in the b in the basement. of the Earth or. whatever Judge Dread yeah maybe it's. Judge Dread and like I I am the law feel. like it's all these people who refuse. the advancement of Technology right. there's going to be some of that yeah. there be a lot of people living in the. Amazon still eating monkeys but the the. real the rest the rest of the.

electrified world is going to be very. strange yeah yeah but hopefully we'll. still crack jokes Michael that would be. great. hopefully all right should we wrap this. up your book uh tell everybody my book. is called cop I dude there it is thank. you I the publisher is going to kill me. I said I was going to present it to you. on the show whoopsies we got a photo of. it doesn't matter adventures and tennis. and comedy lucky loser get me a copy and. I'll put it out there in the bookshelf. got a lot of books out there uh we. should have sent you one if you don't.

I'll get you one um yeah so the book. starts when my brother gave me a tennis. racket for Christmas when I was four and. my dream was to be professional tennis. player and we did it but only to 864 in. the world that's that's my highest world. ranking turned into a chick you could. have dominated. that's that's the point of the. book uh but it it it's uh the story is. how I went from prot tennis to Comedy. and it's fascinating and silly and a lot.

of failure talking a lot. about the struggles of being alone in. both of those professions tennis you're. alone problem solving and comedy you're. alone in problem solving and uh well. you're a great comic you're very funny. guy and you've always been very cool to. hang out with um and I'm really excited. that you're at the club this weekend are. there any tickets available. I got an email yesterday from my. management that all shows are sold out. so if anybody wants to go the best case. thing is you go and wait at the front. and sometimes people don't show up which.

does happen especially with South by. Southwest it's crazy parking and uh but. uh I'm psyched I'm psyched to see you at. the club I'm coming this weekend I'll. come hang out and uh thank you that. would be awesome and pleasure thanks for. having me and uh congrats on on the club. and all that's happening I appreciate. thank you congrats on everything. congrats on The Daily Show that's. awesome all right bye everybody. [Music]. [Applause]. [Music].