Joe Rogan Experience #2276 - Felipe Esparza

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan experience. TRAIN BY DAY, JOE ROGAN PODCAST BY. NIGHT. ALL DAY. GOOD TO SEE YOU, MY FRIEND. It's been. too long. What's up, fool? Good to see you, too. the last time I saw you, brother? It was. like 5 years ago or something. years ago. And I I went I did the show here when. you were in LA. Yeah. At the warehouse. Damn, that's what I miss most about the. store. Is uh you know,

traveling dudes. We we would meet up. We'd meet up at the home base. You know? Yes. And I when I was a young comic, I would. see like older comics like that I would. see on television. They would just come. hang out at that bar or the patio. Yeah, and you pass by and you think, "Oh, Yeah. that's so um man.". Arsenio Hall, holy [ __ ]. Layla Kahlil. Right there. OG right there. You know. you know what? Right. I used to see her at Dodger Stadium when. I was working at Dodger Stadium. And I would ask her for advice.

And she was just just you know, like. every comic back then. Just keep. writing. She's a funny comic, man. She's a funny. comic. Who's that lady that was on. Curb Your Enthusiasm? She's very funny, too. Old school comic. God damn it. I'm very embarrassed that I forgot her. name. She hasn't done comedy in a long. time. Look that up. Susie? Yeah, Susie Essman. Oh, Susie Essman did stand-up? Yes. Oh, she was great. She was really. funny. I middled for her once. In like [ __ ] 1989 or some [ __ ].

Way back in the day, my friend. Where where you middle for that lady? Wow. Yeah. Yeah, I forgot some place on Long. Island. I can't might have been like. Governor's or something like that. I. don't I do not remember, but I remember. she was very nice. She was very funny, very nice, very encouraging. Which is the the best, man, when you get. to work with somebody that you see on. television and you just like starting. out and they're nice to you, that's so. valuable. believe it like when I when I want to.

So is he as well. There she is. Whoa. She look like Elaine. from Seinfeld. She. Yeah, similar. But that's the haircut back then, huh? She Yeah, well, they all have crazy. hair. Everybody lost their mind in the. '80s. Allie Lieberman? Yeah, they all they all lost their mind. back then. Cuz like from the '70s to the '80s, nobody knew how to dress. They did crazy. [ __ ] with their hair. She got over her set. Yeah, they would all tease their hair. up. It was crazy. There was like a big. hair thing. I think it was when people started doing.

cocaine. That's what I think. I think is. the '80s was Miami Vice and cocaine. Everybody lost their mind. They they. lost their fashion sense. People started. wearing wacky clothes. Cars started looking like [ __ ]. Yeah, man. That was Saab. Pinto. Real cars just started looking like. [ __ ] I mean, if you wanted objective. analysis of what happens to a society. when they remove marijuana and mushrooms. and then they bring in cocaine. It's. like.

Yeah, hey, you know what? It's called. that car Ford Fiesta. Yeah, cuz we had a fiesta yesterday. But cocaine brought us Sam Kinison, too, though. You have to real Cocaine's done. some good. You think he did a lot a lot a lot a. lot? No. No, I think it's terrible for. everybody who does it. But but I do. think that there's moments of inspired. creativity from all kinds of substances. Especially that rock and roll cocaine. that they used to get where it was like. just real pure cocaine. It wasn't.

stepped on. Didn't have amphetamines and. fentanyl in it. All kinds of other [ __ ]. Good [ __ ] Not like the stuff you buy. like in grandma rapid Iowa. And I should say this as a person who's. never tried cocaine. Never? Never. Never tried cocaine. lying. No, I would not lie. Never? No, never. No, I got real lucky. When I. was in high school, I had a buddy of. mine and his cousin started selling it. And he was a great guy. And I watched this dude kind of like. shrink into himself and lost a ton of. weight and him and his girlfriend just. they had this attic apartment and they.

would just hang out and do coke and sell. coke. And they would just like watch TV. and do coke and it was like it was like. they got bit by a vampire, man. It. scared the [ __ ] out of me. I was afraid of cocaine, man, cuz when I. started stand-up like I started stand-up. like in '94, '93 at an open mic and I. was clean, I was sober. I was a year I. was in rehab. and I wanted to be a comedian. So I went. to a library to learn about writing, Gene Perret. Oh, okay. comedy writing step-by-step, another. book called.

how to write funny, be funny and. make money being funny. And that was a. real great book, bro. I mean, it had. comedy clubs. um locations in the back. Oh, man. booker numbers like to submit your. comedy. Yeah, well, remember the Comedy USA. industry guide? A hundred dollars. Yeah. Can you believe that [ __ ]. Bro, I remember dudes used to take out. full page ads. That's how you knew they. were killing it. When a dude would take.

out a full page ad in the Comedy USA. industry guide, I'm like, "Wow, he's got. a full page ad.". I remember bro I um. when um. well, I was looking for gigs in like in. 2000, right? And I remember this. comedian named Shang and. Dante, comedian Dante. remember those guys. Those guys um had a list of a list like. a five-page list of comedy bookers. names, knack numbers to call. And the. back of the page was shitty bookers to.

avoid. And they used to start at the comics for. like 75 bucks. Wow. I got lucky that I was in Boston. and Boston had there was that was like. the boom happened in Boston when like. Steven Wright got on The Tonight Show, everybody found out about Boston, but it. was already this like crazy community. There's a great documentary called When. Stand-Up Stood Out. You had that guy on the show here. Yeah, I've had a few of those guys on. the show. like a Chinese restaurant.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don Gavin was one. of those guys. Steve Sweeney, legends. I. still say to this day they're some of. the best comics I've ever seen in my. life. I've seen them murder harder than. anybody I've ever seen in my life, but. it was just very regional, very local, and a lot of it didn't translate. nationally for some reason. Like Steve. Sweeney, in Boston in front of a Boston. audience, is the funniest guy that's. ever lived, and I'm not kidding. I'm not. exaggerating. He would get like Boston.

accents and Boston attitudes, it would. be all big part of his act. And dude, it. was murderous. If you had to follow. that, you were [ __ ] You were [ __ ]. man. And they would do that to dudes. from out of town. It was the most. ruthless, cruel [ __ ] they would do at. Nick's Comedy Stop. They would take. these. assassins, these local assassins, and. stack them one after the other. It would. be Kenny Rogerson, Don Gavin, Steve. Sweeney, and then they throw up some.

headliner. And this poor headliner is. used to soft acts on the road. He's used. to being known for the guy who was on. television. Hey folks, you So I'm Mike, you know, the sitcom, and they try to do. stand-up, and just they were getting. eaten alive. talking about nuggets. Those guys who. the guys who are up there all cooked. out. Oh, yeah, they were. working the crowd. They were wild boys, too. They were big. like football player sized, wild, crazy. drinkers and partiers, and they were. funny, man. And so because there was.

this like love of comedy in Boston, they. had all these comedy nights all over the. place where you could make a living. So. you could be like a half-assed comedian. like I I. and you know, you can make 500 bucks a. week just hustling, just moving around, and that's what we all did. So, there. was so many places that you could work, and so many like little booking agents. and like like Western Massachusetts, you'd have to go out there like you. know, like. there's these weird towns that are like.

liberal hideouts. You know what I mean? Like the universe like Amherst, you'd. get like Amherst gigs. It was weird like. Amherst, Massachusetts. That was a place that you got to be. familiar there to pronounce it right. Which one is that? that's that like the Worcestershire. steak sauce. Oh, Worcester. Worcester. Yeah. Yeah, it looks weird. I was in 2010 I was doing Last Comic. Standing there, and I got there a day. early, and I hung out with a a Boston. comic. I think his uncle is that the guy.

that caught that was missing in action. Um the Irish gangster. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. is the comedian. Yeah, and he and they he was I said, "Yeah, man, where are you performing?". "Worcester, sir.". And then. he he took the joint he goes, "No, bro, it's Worcester." "Okay. Thank you for. telling me, bro.". Yeah, you don't want to say, "Hey, Worcester, sir. Nice to be here." They would [ __ ]. kill you. They're like That's where the. great Doug Stanhope is from. Yeah, Worcester. Doug Stanhope started in Worcester.

I love him. He's the best. All right, it's February, and by now 80%. of people have probably abandoned their. New Year's resolutions, and it makes. sense. Life can get crazy, and all of. the sudden you don't have the time, but. one easy habit to stick with is AG1. It's an easy, realistic habit that you. can make to benefit your whole body. health. AG1 makes hard-to-get. micronutrients easy to get and replaces. multivitamins and supplements with just. one scoop. You just mix it in some cold. water, take a nice moment in the morning.

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That's a $76 value gift for free when. you go to drinkAG1.com/joerogan. Check it out. I had a first comedy album, the one he. did with Rory or something. Mhm. Oh, the one where he did with music. in the background? Yeah, that was great. That's a great album. There was a place like that, a bathroom. place, but not in a documentary, but. Will Durst. Mhm. He's a San Francisco comedian. He had a. room like that called the Comedy Zoo or.

the the zoo. Holy City Zoo, right? Zoo. Yeah. And there's a comedian that came out of. there that's a killer comic and he's. still alive and um he opened for me and. he opened for Rob um Schneider and Papa. and he. he opened up for a lot of people. Um Larry Bubbles Brown. Oh, cool. And he's an old school guy. After every. joke he goes, "Mwah.". "Mwah." But he did the letter he did. Letterman in 1992. and then um he did it again in 2006. Mhm. So he has a record for doing Letterman.

between 30 years. Wow. But he's one of the comics that has like. never left San Francisco. There's a few of those guys that got. trapped like that. Yes. Yeah. They were like really good guys. Remember that one guy in Chicago? [ __ ] what was his Larry. Larry Reeb? Larry Reeb. Remember Larry Reeb? He was a guy like. that. Like a really solid national act, but it was so Chicago. He kind of stayed. around there mostly. And it was like. every now and then find towns like that.

You have like one murderer that lived in. the town. Bob Marley in New England. Yes, all of Maine. Bob Marley is the. murderer of Maine. They said that. Schimmel was Arizona. I love Robert Schimmel, man. was the best. He was the best He was. such a good guy. But he was he lived in. Phoenix and it was somewhere in that. area. I think it was Phoenix. But for him it was like it was easier to. get around the country that way and he. didn't want to be a part of He was like. one of the first guys that I was like, "Oh, you could like be a big-time comic.

and not have to leave your state." Like. you get to a point where you can live in. Oklahoma like Larry the Cable Guy does, probably. Where does he live? He lives. in like somewhere like Georgia or. something like that? know. In the country. live? He's from Orlando. Is that where he lives though? I'm not sure. I don't want to give up his I'm going to. not trying to dock some. where he's from. He's like on the radio. there. But I think yeah, he's definitely from. there. I just don't know if he lives there. We. probably shouldn't say where he lives. But that dude is he could be anywhere. It doesn't matter. Like he could you. could just go anywhere.

I like to see his face when I go to El. Paso comedy strip and all those dudes. you're talking about, they were all. there. Dude, I remember Josh Wolf showed me a. picture that he took when he was on. stage and they were doing it was like. 60,000 people. So Larry the Cable Guy was doing like. 60,000 people and he Josh Wolf was like. got his camera and he's like moving it. around on stage. He's like, "That is the. craziest [ __ ] thing I've ever seen. That crowd is so insane." That's how big. that guy got. 60,000 people, man.

And he was another dude that got hated. on for no reason other than his success. It was like for some reason everybody. couldn't believe that you could say. offensive things as a joke in a. character all of a sudden. And it had so. coincidentally. happened at the same time as him getting. super huge. It's like, "You guys are. just [ __ ] haters.". That's crazy how when they they start. hating the the character but not the.

person. Well, that's the dice thing. Yeah, right. Just like the guy with that. they just have that puppet in New York. Oh, Otto and George. Yeah. Uh Greg Geraldo when I opened for. him back in the day um back in Addison. Improv, he told me that um he would say. the nastiest [ __ ] that puppet and this. lady threw a threw [ __ ] at the puppet. but not at uh Otto. Bro, we were talking about it Tuesday. night in the green room. We were talking. about how that puppet was kind of. possessed. And I'm not even.

bullshitting. You know, Otto was out. there. Otto was out there. I mean, he. was out there. Everybody I mean, that. dude partied. He went hard and he was a. genius comedian. But he would get rides to gigs and say, "Pull over. I got to check on George.". And he would in the [ __ ] side of the. highway, he would pull over, pop the. trunk, and check on the dummy. Wow, his buddy. Weird, man. Weird, man.

Weird. Someone Oh, there he is. Someone. stabbed that dummy once. Yeah? Some Puerto Rican guy was The The dummy. was saying Puerto Rican jokes to this. guy. AND THE GUY [ __ ] STABBED THE DUMMY. Stabbed the dummy. With a knife or a sharp bed spring? Or a sharp bed spring, bro. Something. Anything. Whatever you got. that you polished down to a point. watch the the Fabulous Mrs. Maisel? The what now? The Fabulous Mrs. Maisel is about a. female comic growing up in the '50s on. Amazon.

No. Oh, Fabulous Mrs. Maisel. Mrs. Maisel. Oh, she's Mrs. All right. I thought you were saying something in. Spanish. That's hilarious. You ever seen Mrs. Maisel? That's hilarious. I literally thought. you were talking about a completely. different show. the ventriloquist that did like a. 1-minute set on her show? Yeah. Well, so like ventriloquist, now it's. like. it's one of those things like with. Carrot Top, he's like so successful.

props that no one does props anymore. But when we first started out, everybody. did props. There was like 10 guys on a. lineup of 20 guys that have props they. bring with them on stage. Cuz like. sometimes it was really funny. Rusty Dootly. Yeah, Rusty Dootly was great at it. But. it's like the he owned that for whatever. reason. Cuz Carrot Top got so big using. props, he's the only guy that still does. it, that he kind of owns that. And then. with Jeff Dunham, he got so big at being. a ventriloquist that like there's no.

ventriloquist anymore. Like when we were. kids, there was always comedy. ventriloquist. There was like Willie. Tyler and Lester, remember? There was like a it was a it was a fun. thing. You could get the dummy to say. [ __ ] up [ __ ] and then you go, "I. can't believe you could say that in. front of these nice people." And then. GEORGE BE LIKE, "FUCK these people, these. Who tells everybody suck his cock?" It. was like, "Who's crazy?". What was the other one? Woody Wood in the hood? Yeah. But with Otto and George it was a.

little different, man, cuz I think. George. I think Otto believed that George was. alive. I think Otto believed there was. something about George that was. different than him. Like he was not Otto. and George. He was just Otto, and George. only existed when George was there. And. it seemed like there was something going. on with that. And it might be because he. [ __ ] fried his brain to the point. where he was connecting with, you know, all kinds of energy that wasn't even.

there, you know? He He might have been. out He was out there. He was out there. But the the the combination. together. I wanted to see them smoke. crack together. Yeah, he probably made. George smoke it. Yeah. There's famous Otto crack stories. He He was That guy was gone. But he was. also so. Really funny, man. [ __ ] funny. And we. And a comic's comic. Like, we would all. sit in the back of the room to watch. when he was on stage. But, so there's a lot of those guys. that are like real genius, but they're. real eccentric. And for whatever reason,

the general public doesn't find out. about them. There's not like a good. vehicle, at least back then there. wasn't, for them to get out to the. general public. Like, today I would say. an example that is like Brian Holtzman. Yes. Right? Like, Brian Holtzman we've known. forever. He's always been a guy we all. watched. He was always the guy that at. the end of the night, especially if. something [ __ ] up happened, like there. was a plane crash, or if like someone. got eaten by a lion. cuz that you mentioned a plane crash cuz.

I was there when he did that joke. I was at the back of the Comedy Store. He said, "Um American Airlines is. hiring.". And then he said, "I I I can't remember. who's He I remember who survived that. airline." And he said, "Um. [ __ ] that. Everybody says, 'How come they don't. build a plane out of the black box? Or. sit me next to the black box? Sit me. next to a [ __ ] baby. Baby survived. Let me hold that baby, bitch.'.

A baby survived? Yeah, baby survived an airline on the. flight one time and he said, "Oh, I want. to hold that baby. I want to hold. somebody's baby in an airplane. just in case it goes down. Cuz if a baby. survived, I'm going to survive.". Yeah, you have to see him say it. We I. don't think we're doing it justice. it all up. My favorite one was when Susan Smith got. arrested for drowning her kids. He goes, "I heard those were bad kids. I. heard they sat that close to the TV. They didn't put away their blocks. Those. kids will not be missed.".

The The fun thing about Brian is if you. know him like in real life, he's like. the sweetest guy on Earth. He's such a. sweetheart of a guy. Like, super. friendly to everybody, loves everybody. Like, he doesn't even have an enemy. Like Brian Holtzman has no enemies. He's. always sweet and friendly. And then he. gets on stage and it's like he becomes. like his version of George. Yeah. I hung out with um Brian Holtzman. I hung out with Brian Holtzman and his. mom in San Antonio, Texas.

Oh, wow. Cuz we were doing the the Latino Laugh. Festival. Oh, wow. And he was the only non-Latino in the. show, him and Darren Carter. And bro, they was all Latinos, bro. Everybody was getting [ __ ] Johnny. Sanchez pronounced his name like an. American and somebody yelled out, "It's. Sanchez, fucker.". How did they say it? I don't know. He said, "Hello, my name. is Johnny Sanchez." And then somebody. said, "No, it's Sanchez with five A's. Sanchez.". Oh, boy. So he got heckled. So um.

He got heckled for saying his name in a. non-Mexican way? Yes. And then Brian Holtzman goes up. there. Bro, it's rough out in those streets. And Brian Holtzman goes up there and he. said um. He goes, "Isn't that a comedy show close. out the doors?". I I I was border patrol is going to come. in here and take care of everybody. And bro, but this is after This is after. um we were doing this taping or typing. Mencia shows up, does a guest spot on.

our taping and goes. long, you know, really long. You know, like. Jeff Valdez looking around. So then um. that's when Brian Holtzman goes up and. murders it. He goes, "Man, I got to. figure out how to how to this. immigration problem, man. We're going to. bunch of U-Haul trucks U-Haul trucks. We. go around to every Home Depot. We got. these people Yeah, we're hiring, bro. There's lots of jobs. Muchos trabajos. Come on. Get in the trucks. We [ __ ]. take these trucks. We drop them off in. Tijuana, Mexico.".

Yeah. He would You have to see him say it. He starts screaming and [ __ ]. But it's also like he's playing this. bizarre psychotic character that only. comes out when he's on stage. He's the. most different when he's on stage. And he held his job, too, when he had a. job at the Comedy. he always had a job. That was the. problem. guy. That was the problem. He never hit He. never hit the road. He stuck around the. store cuz he like I was saying there's. not like a path for those guys. Like. nobody wanted Brian Holtzman open for.

them. That's too weird, you know? His plan. at the store. And now he's found a crowd. at the mothership. Mhm. His shows at the mothership, they're all. sold out. Like he he's hilarious. People. come to see him. And he didn't have a. path before. It was like there was like. you know, he's too weird to put on a. television show. It's like it's like you. got to You really want to be in the. room. That's what it is. Yeah. There's like if anybody is way funnier. in the room, it's Brian Holtzman. The.

The discomfort, the weirdness, and the. way he works around it when you're in. the room is so fun. And every show is different. Every show is different. And he's always. talking about new things. He's like I. mean, it's really like he channels this. [ __ ] character. It's like he He. should be two different people. He should be Brian Holtzman, the super. nice guy, and then whatever the [ __ ] his. name is when he's on stage. It's almost. like he needs a second name. Mitzi. should have done that a long time ago. Mitzi used to call Joey fat baby. Do you. remember those days?

Yeah. So what Someone has one of the lineups. that they got from Jeff Scott and on the. lineup it's got everybody's name and. then, you know, 15 minutes and then it. says fat baby. fat baby. She wanted him to be called fat baby. Weird advice sometimes, man, that. managers give you at the clubs. Terrible advice. Can't listen to any of. them. I know, man. I was bummed out one time cuz you know, you have to go back and forth, back and. forth till they make you a regular. Mhm.

And I was trying at the Laugh Factory. And one time Jamie said that he told me. I don't see you making it, man. For another 6 to 8 years. Oh boy. And then when I finally got Laugh. Factory standing, I looked at him and. said, "You are. Jamie, your advice was full of [ __ ] It. was [ __ ] 12. It took 12, not 6. But I was bummed out when he told me. that. I was like bummed out, you know, you get bummed out like you realize. you're putting all this work in and like. you know, you can't be a regular here. So you got to go back to these other. rooms.

Um I talked to Bro Williams. And um he said um [ __ ] that advice, bro. You know what he told me? He said he told me that I should get all. the little people I can find in. Hollywood. All of them. All the little midgets, all. the little pe- little persons. And um. bring them to the Laugh Factory. And. Jamie said you can have the biggest. little person show in all of Hollywood. That was his advice for Brad. So that's. how I I was I was not feeling so bad. after that. Then I talked to Alonzo.

Bodden and he told Alonzo Bodden that he. should put on shoulder pads. and be A FOOTBALL COMIC. SO JOE, AFTER HEARING THAT, I didn't. want to cry anymore. Oh my god. He had some terrible advice. I think it was he was giving advice I. think it was he was giving this advice. to Todd Parker who was telling him It. was either Todd Parker or Robbie Print.

Two guys that I knew from Boston. One of. them he was telling him, I think it's. Todd, "You've got to be Generation X. guy. This is what you're going to be, buddy. You're going to be Generation X. guy. So from Generation X, this is how I. see the world, buddy.". Everything was as a genera- Generation X. guy. Like and he was like, "That's the. worst advice I've ever heard in my life. Like why would I do that?" But people. would have like schemes for you. But the thing is though they they're. just trying to help. Yeah, but the the no one knows how to do. it other than you and you got to figure.

it out. No one can tell you. Yeah, and it's like all dated, too. Like. who would have told Mitch Hedberg, "Wear. sunglasses and sometimes turn your back. to the crowd.". No one. No one. Mitch Hedberg would be killing. with his back to the crowd high on. heroin, all non sequiturs for like an. hour and a half. Yeah, that's right. He was just crazy, you know, brilliant. What with him? You met him? I met him. I didn't know him well, but I. you know, I knew him enough that it was. a bummer when when he died, I remember I.

was with Stanhope, we were. filming something and we found out that. he had gangrene. He got admitted to a. hospital. He had gangrene. Like yo, gangrene [ __ ] kills people. Like this. is [ __ ] scary. And. you know, he just had a problem. He just. liked that heroin. And he didn't want to stop. Like people. wanted to clean him up. He did not want. to get cleaned up. He's like, "I am not. interested.". I think I would have one time, but I. didn't shoot up. I just smoked it, but I. was in Amsterdam.

Dude, it doesn't seem like anybody has a. great old time with the rest of their. life once they start doing heroin. It's like cocaine, it's the same thing. It's like I think there's probably. moments of brilliance that have come out. of heroin, though. I I I definitely do. when I think about 1960s music. I think heroin and LSD affected a lot of. rock and roll in the 1960s and cannabis. for sure, too, and probably mushrooms. But you know,

the the thing that it always kills you. Like everybody always it always ruins. everything. They all died young. Everybody like but Morrison, 27, Hendrix, 27. Although there is a wild conspiracy. about Hendrix. Yeah? Yeah. What you hear? That he was killed by his manager. Mhm. The conspiracy there's there was one of. his bodyguards, right? Is that what it. was, Jamie? That wrote this book? How. did he die? He I think he died of his asphyxiation. from throwing up, you know, which is one.

thing that can happen to people that are. doing drugs. But the uh bodyguard. I think I believe this, don't hold me to. this, but I believe the story was. Hendrix was going to leave his manager. His manager was mobbed up. His manager. was like a scary guy. And his manager. was making a lot of money with Hendrix. Hendrix is trying to leave and uh he's. got the rights to the Hendrix catalog. and he kills Hendrix. So his former roadie.

So the thing that's compelling about. this is shortly after this his uh. girlfriend Tappy committed suicide, air. quotes, by being thrown off a roof. So. they got rid of Hendrix and they got rid. of his girlfriend if that's what really. happened. So that he was the benefactor. allegedly of the guitarist's $2 million. life insurance policy. $2 million. Okay, worth around 1.2 million in 1970. Uh according to Wright, Jeffrey told him.

about the crime in 1971, a year after. the 27-year-old Hendrix was found dead. in a London hotel. He said, "I had to do. it, Tappy." Wright claims the manager. said, "You understand, don't you? I had. to do it. You know damn well what I'm. talking about. We went round to his. hotel room, got a handful of pills, stuffed them into his mouth, then poured. a few bottles of red wine deep into his. windpipe. Hendrix was found dead at the Samarkand. Hotel on 18th of September, 1970. The.

cause of death was recorded as. barbiturate intoxication and inhalation. of vomit. "I can still hear the conversation,". Wright wrote of Jeffrey's confession. "See the man I'd known for so much of my. life, his face pale, hand clutching at. his glass in sudden rage. Hendrix's manager died in a plane crash. in '73. So, this guy's dead that. supposedly did this. Listen, man, they. did that back then. They were gangsters. There was gangsters running everything.

If there was a lot of money to be made, scary people moved in and it became a. real problem. gangsters owned a lot of stuff that a. lot of people wouldn't want to own, like. a gay club in. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Like in LA, they owned all the gay. clubs. They were not raided because they. were paying. This episode is brought to you by. BetterHelp. People like to throw around. all these red flags. You know, things. someone says or does that you don't. like, which is fine. But, instead of. focusing on the negative all the time,

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with BetterHelp. Visit. betterhelp.com/jre. to get 10% off your first month. That's. BetterHelp, h e l p.com/jre. But, if you want to talk about something. like that, like would would would a a. manager kill a client for a life. insurance policy? Back then, yeah. I read this. They didn't have DNA back. then, man. I read this where I did it. It's like crazy, right? My mom didn't. like Elvis. She liked the Beatles,

right? And I asked my mom, "How come you. don't like [ __ ] Elvis? He's badass, too.". Oh, cuz Elvis said that I'd rather sleep. with have kids a dog than a Mexican. woman. And I said, "When did he say that?" And. and he goes, "He said it." Then I found. out later on when I went in a rabbit. hole, ba-ba-ba-ba-boom, it was a. colonel. The colonel spread that. The colonel spread that. Cuz he didn't wanted to he wanted to. keep him in America. and not tour any more. The colonel was an evil dude, man. Yeah. That That, by the way, that Tom Hanks.

performance is [ __ ] fantastic. In that Elvis movie where he plays the. colonel? Yeah. Is you know, when you see it like you. appreciate how a guy can really like. become a different person. Like, he. becomes this creepy manager guy, this. manipulative gambling creepy manager. guy. I mean, it's [ __ ] genius, man. It's so good. Like, you really you. That's what's crazy. Like, you forget. that's Tom Hanks. You're like, "Oh.". But, you really got a sense of the. relationship that Elvis had with this. dude.

Cuz those kinds of get crazy Look, there's famous. and then there's Elvis famous in the. 1960s and you don't even understand what. that means. No one understands what that means. And. he was the first one to be like that. Imagine that. I know, man. Imagine walking into a room. and you just go, "You want to kiss?" And. they kiss. But, just imagine just try to navigate. life as a human being and you're. literally the most desired person to be. around alive. Like, you can't walk down. the street. People scream and they cheer.

and they run at you. Women faint. They. cry. And there's never been someone like. that before. That's what's crazy cuz. this is the first time you've seen a guy. on television, and he's on television. shaking his hips. And so, they go crazy. No one had ever done that, huh? No. No. You never had a pop star on TV. shaking his hips like he's [ __ ]. Yeah. It was too much. It was But they covered. it up the first time? I think they They did something where. they were upset at him because they.

didn't know he was going to do it. I. think it was like I think he was. actually going to get fined. In some. places, like you weren't allowed to. shake your hips like that. Like this is. how. crazy being Elvis was. Badass. There's this one video or. picture of Elvis that I like besides the. one you have here. You know, the rest of. it. Mhm. Or when he's um he's playing outside at. an outside event, and he's wearing all. black, and he's [ __ ] young as hell, and a pompadour looking good, the blue. eyes are shining. He's like, "Bro.".

And everybody's fainting. And there was no Elvis before Elvis. That's what's crazy. So, he's like this. one guy that becomes way more famous. than any entertainer ever. And then he's got an evil manager, and. then he's doing pills, and then he's. just living in paranoia, and the the. whole world don't make any sense. Nothing makes any sense. It can't make. any sense. You have no peers. You have. no one around you that's like you. No. one around you that can understand you, and you're being protected by some guy. who's like is siphoning money from you.

He was doing [ __ ] little gigs, right? Like he'll leave he'll do like a 2-hour. show and then he'll leave go do another. 2-hour show somewhere else. Well, I think he got into a financial. bind, right? Isn't Wasn't that a part of. the movie? And then he got that Vegas residency. Bro, the Vegas residency is probably. convenient because you don't have to go. anywhere. You know, you know where you. live, you know where the gig is. Like. Carrot Top seems to like it, but. I don't think I could do that. But if you're a musician, though, like.

Elvis, it's great. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But even like comics can. do it. A lot of comics do it. You know, it's I just don't know about. living in Vegas. I don't know about my mind being in the. same place 7 days a week, 14 shows. The people that live outside of Vegas. love it, though. If you live like in. like Henderson or some of those places, like they're very very nice places. But, it's still you're still connected to. this place where people go to get. psychotic. There's some weird energy about that. I.

Listen, this is not a knock on Vegas. I. love it. Look, I I love New York City. Ari [ __ ] loves living in New York. City. I can't live in New York City. I. can't handle all that. I got to get the [ __ ] away. Some people. love it. You can Everybody can love. everything, but it just seems like. that It's like Vegas is a uniquely crazy. place. People go there specifically, like, "We're going to GO TO VEGAS.". IT'S LIKE IT'S IN THE TITLE of the state. means craziness. You went Vegas. Every every day but like 50,000 people.

show up. It's every day. And then you got rodeos. coming into town and UFC fights coming. into town and [ __ ] concerts and. Raider fans. It's a [ __ ] wild-ass town. I I love. being there. I just don't know if I. could live there. I just It seems like. it's almost a little too crazy. get him through the. So, this is Ed Sullivan Show, 1956. This is the only time This is the first. time his hips show up on the screen? It's 10 minutes into this? Yeah, he was wiggling his dick too much. was doing, though. He was. That's a lot, Jamie. What do you mean,

"That's all he was doing"? That's. offensive. After this aired, they they said they. wouldn't air him from the waist down. anymore. Isn't that crazy? But, they obviously didn't care. It's barely It's barely shown. It's so. crazy. Bro, he probably had a Look, his big old. dick keeps slapping at his jacket. That's what it is. Look, if you see that. side, back it up a little bit. That's. what the problem is, Jamie. Look at that. jacket popping up and down from his big. old Elvis dick. Look at it. he he didn't assemble with it. Bro, he's he's making his jacket pop. with his dick. I'm with the censors.

I'm with the censors. Of course he had a. big dick. He had everything. He had. everything. He had voice talent, beautiful You think he's going to have a. little dick with all that. all those gifts? How tall is he? I don't know. He's probably at least 6. ft tall. 21 YEARS OLD THERE. WOW! HOW CAN YOU MANAGE THAT? How can you. navigate that at 21 years old? It's him. man. Bro, it's him and Michael Jackson. These. are the two case studies. and people. that got too famous. But sometimes I wonder man, like how. would I handle that much success at that.

early age? Bro, you wouldn't. I know. That's what I'm saying, you. know. Like you wouldn't. YOU WOULD GO CRAZY. WELL, HOW ABOUT YOU? I'd go crazy. I would go crazy. I'll be seeing you with a big [ __ ]. cold sore. Yeah, dude, I got lucky. My my fame. ascent was a slow drip, you know, like. over time. Oh, bro. It was a slow drip. Mine was like the little mountain guy on. um on The Price Is Right. Kicky kicky. kicky kicky kicky kicky and then. hopping along the way, bunch of haters. Fighting with other comics.

Cocaine. Yeah. Hanging around at El Compadre's too long. with Joey Diaz. Yeah, El Compadre's was a spot. 64 years ago. today more than 60 million people. watched Elvis Presley perform on The Ed. Sullivan Show. Oh, wow. 60 million. That's so crazy. But that's. how it used to be, man, when and that's. why losing control of that is so. devastating to mainstream media. That. was what it was. When I was a kid, there. was three channels, dude. There was NBC, ABC, and CBS and that was it. And then.

all of a sudden there was Fox and we. were crazy. We got a whole 'nother. channel. channels too though in your. neighborhood? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We definitely. did. Especially Yeah, we all had. everyone has local channels. So you. always had like the local NBC network. You need those so we can play karate. movies. Yeah, we didn't even have cable. Like it. didn't exist. We had. Like you have to realize how nuts the. world was when everything you watched on. television was just television. That's. all you ever saw. Like there's no cable. So you have four channels if you're.

and you felt so lucky to have that. fourth channel. You got The Simpsons, Married with Children came on that. channel. Fox changed the whole. In Living Color changed the whole like. feeling of what a channel was. It's. crazy that Fox is now connected to like. conservative Republicans reporting the. news. But it's like Fox when we were. kids was Married with Children. It was, you know, it was like the renegade. shows. It was The Simpsons. It was you know, there was a a bunch of. like fun shows that were on Fox.

man. Living Single. Yeah, but In Living Color to this day I. say is one of. There's two of the greatest comic like. Saturday Night Live always gets it for. longevity cuz it's crazy they've been. around so long. SCTV. But for like pure funny for me it's like. In Living Color and Chappelle Show. Yeah. And I feel like you don't get Chappelle. Show unless you have In Living Color. first. I feel like it there I I feel like In. Living Color broke open the door for.

chaotic sketches that were like really. funny, man. Wildly offensive, really. funny. To this day. Like there's a lot. of [ __ ] on. In Living Color that if you tried to do. like in the height of wokeness like. three or four years ago, bro, they would. [ __ ] call for your censorship. They. would They would. come for you. Especially when Damon Wayans and David. Alan Grier were doing Men on Film. There's an episode where where [ __ ]. the camera falls. They give it two snaps. Yep. The camera falls on Damon Wayans.

and he become heterosexual all of a. sudden. And then. David Alan Grier was touching him. He. goes, "Make it two steps away from me, man.". That episode. How about when he played Handy Man? He. played a mentally [ __ ]. I love that one. Oh my god. he played. my favorite movie. Yeah, a handicapped. superhero. It was. And he made him a superhero movie about. him. Handyman. He would fly like this. Yeah.

Dude, this this show was wild. Hilarious. Wildly offensive, but so funny. Even Fire Marshall Bill, bro. He making. fun of a fire victim. just going to bring that up. Let me tell you something. THE GUY'S [ __ ] WHOLE FACE IS BURNED. OFF. JESUS CHRIST. My daughter's a burn victim, by the way. That's harsh, bro. That's what you will get. Yeah. It's. wild that shows like that. bro. Ahead of his time. Oh, wait. Well, so was that other movie.

We were just talking about that. Ace. Ventura. Ace Ventura. Yeah. Yes. When you find out that she's a. trans person and the dick comes out and. everybody starts throwing up. First of all, I don't buy it. Even if. she had it Turn to that photo again. That's Sean Young, right? That's Sean Young, yeah. Yeah, when she was hot. So, even if she. had a dick, there's a lot of guys who'd. be like, "Listen, nobody needs to know.

about that dick.". Nobody needs to know about that man. That dick is between you and me, and I. get you to. it happened to me, bro. I just looked at. him and went, "Wow, that's a big ass. skin tag you got right there.". Damn. Skin tag. Yeah, all those shows like. I mean, what are the other great sketch. shows? Mad TV had some bangers. Mad TV. There were some bangers on Mad TV. But, is there another show that's like. Second City TV? I watched that growing. up. in the Hall. Kids in the Hall. Kids in the Hall. Kids in the Hall was.

fantastic. That was great. You know, I I was a Kids in the Hall fan, but I I. didn't really start watching it. like really get into it until after I'd. met Dave. Like, I didn't know much about. Kids in the Hall. I knew it was funny. I. knew everybody said it was funny, but I. don't think I'd ever even watched a. sketch. And then I became friends with Dave. doing NewsRadio. And then I started really getting into. it. I was like, "Oh, this is That guy. had a very neat or still does have a. very very unique sense of humor." He.

rewrote like. I don't know what percentage, 40% of. like the lines on NewsRadio, like on the. set. Yeah. He rewrites things all the time. He was. always like coming up with a better way. to do something and always had like a. sense of like a pacing. Is it. Would you That's a totally different. thing, man, when you're making sketches. Like sketches are totally It's a like to. be able to do that and do a lot of like. really funny scenarios that are unique. That's a very.

right, than stand-up cuz we want to end. it, huh? Mhm. Well, it's a totally different way. of thinking. No, Gilly and Keeves is. another fantastic one. That did that to. this day like The problem with that show. is like it's got this amazing fan core. fan base, but it doesn't it's way. funnier than the amount of people that. have seen it. It's way funnier, which is. crazy because Shane Gillis is one of the. biggest comics in the world. Yes. He's funny as hell. He's one of the biggest comics on earth. Like he's selling out arenas everywhere.

Yes. But yet people don't realize how good. Gilly and Keeves is. It's like There's. the one where they do the OnlyFans Dad. It's one of the hardest I've ever. laughed in my [ __ ] life. It's so. funny. It's so funny and so crazy and. because no one's telling them what to. do, they're just doing what's funny. And. that's what got [ __ ] up. There was so. many [ __ ] nannies around everybody. telling everybody what you can and can't. say and so many subjects you you can and. can't cover. Like you got to stay out of. the way. Just like the managers in the.

early days who were telling you. Be clean. You need braids. You know, braids, bro, with beads and you talk about the beads. when you're on stage. Like, what? You know, wear a suit. Shut the [ __ ] up. Get out of here. I remember one time, bro, they told me. to wear a suit and I wore it and I saw. Joe Diaz wearing a suit and I said, "Bro, you look ridiculous, huh?". Cuz Joe Diaz look like he was wearing a. beanie. I remember I called him the. Coca-Cola bear. He got mad. Suits are a weird move, but they're. they're sometimes fun. I've worn suits. on stage before. It makes you feel.

different. It does. It really does. like you got to like change your posture. or. No, you just feel like. more of a [ __ ] professional. [ __ ] look at this. And a well tailored. suit is what you really want. The kind. like modern suits, you can move in them. Like they have. like stretch to them, which is different. than, you know, when I when I was a kid, I thought of suits, I thought of like. you're handcuffed. Like you can't move. good. Yeah. Like you can't kick someone with [ __ ]. suit pants on. You know, you you can't.

move well. all the all the. I always see Johnny Carson in his suits. Those suits those suits look tight as. hell. Well, it's just they the fabric sucked. back then. If you if especially if. you're a bigger person, you know, if you. you lift weights or something like that, if you have muscles, everything's going to be constricted and. tight and all [ __ ] up. It's not going. to fit good. So suits now, if you get a. good one, like I got mine made by David. August. They do them for the UFC and. I've had them make a bunch of suits for. me. They're they're amazing. They do it.

to your actual shape. So everything fits. perfect. you I mean, I don't want make fun of the. other guy, but your your announcing. You know, you you're a big muscle guy, but it doesn't look like you're coming. out of that suit when you wear it. Looks. real good on you. Yes, because they make it to your shape, you know, so it's really comfortable. come out of there. They're like [ __ ]. orangutans, bro. They're like like Mr. Hyde. Well, you know, a lot of those dudes are. bigger than me anyway. That's it.

There's a certain size that you get like. if you put The Rock in a suit, it still. looks ridiculous. It's like, "What the. [ __ ] are you made out of, dude?". First time I met him backstage at the. UFC, and he had cowboy boots on, right? So, he's He doesn't even seem like. Cowboy boots? Yeah. He don't even seem like a real. person. Like, when you meet him in real. life, you're like, "How What What the. [ __ ] are you?" He's like a like a. superhero. Like, you're seeing like a. real-life superhero. And a super nice guy, man. He came and. worked out with us. We all worked out. Tony Hinchcliffe, Derek Hassaan. We all.

[ __ ] lifted weights together, hung. out, got in the sauna, Shane Gillis. We're all just chilling with The Rock, working out with him. Like, no cameras, no nothing. I was like, "Let's the [ __ ]. We don't have to post this. Let's just. have some fun." He's like, "Fuck, yeah.". He was cool as [ __ ] Cool as [ __ ] man. Wow, that's amazing, man. It was fun. I I enjoyed talking to him. He's a good guy. in the airp- uh at at the. Delta, and I saw Jason Momoa. Oh, he's another one. And I said. A little too handsome for me. I just said, "What's up?".

No, I don't know how to meet people. I. was like I was like I. weird people. I was like, "Jason!" I. just like that. "Jason!". "What's up?" And then I didn't know that. we were we were sitting almost close. together on an airplane. Then he saw me. again, bro. Then I said, "What's up?". Then they thought like I creeped him out. again, man. And then my wife was recording him, bro. Recording him. But I was on my phone. He. thought I was recording him, but. I met him in a Whole Foods parking lot.

I met him in a Whole Foods parking lot. in Woodland Hills. I was going to pick. up some groceries, and he was there, too. I was like, "What's up, man? How. you doing? What's going on?" We're. talking. I think that was before he did. Conan. Which I I still say to this day, the movie's not good. Like, the Conan. movie is kind of falls apart, but the. way it looked was amazing. And he played. Conan, and he's the perfect Conan. Like, that's what Conan would have looked. like. He wouldn't have looked like a. bodybuilder. No no disrespect to Arnold, cuz he looked amazing. But it's like. Conan was just a big giant warrior. And.

when he played that guy, what what was. the guy he played on Game of Thrones? Cracker or something like that. He. played the. remember. He was [ __ ] incredible at. that. the um. That's Conan, man. That's Conan. Someone. needs to do a good Conan the Barbarian. movie. Go back and read the Robert E. Howard books. The books are great. It's. this super depressed dude in like the. 1930s writes about this barbarian. Yeah. Khal Drogo, that's right. There we are. Two people I get mistaken.

by. Bro, get a get a photo of him when he. was Conan. Jason Momoa as Conan. Bro, he's the perfect Conan. Right. there. That's what Conan's supposed to. look like. That's That's how I'm supposed to look, too. That's the perfect Conan. That's the. Conan you believe is real. That's the. guy thrown a sword around his whole life. and fighting off dragons. He's not a. bodybuilder. No. like that. That's what it looks like in. the book. Like that's [ __ ] Conan. We're identical. That's Conan.

I mean, someone need He The guy's still. capable of playing this character. Someone, please. Me. I wish Quentin Tarantino was into Conan. Quentin, if you're hearing me, please. read the books. Quentin Tarantino doing Conan would be. the most epic thing of all time. Could you imagine? He would do it right. Or Beastmaster. If he was into it, he would have to be. into it. I have no idea if he's into it. But if he was into it. if Quentin Tarantino might do it. Somebody should do it.

It'll start with the the the ending. It'll be like the ending of the movie in. the beginning and it'll confuse. Somebody should do it. confuse us. The The books are great, man, because. it's it's all from the mind of this. tortured depressed dude who wants up. killing himself. It'll be the first time that you'll see. a Conan movie with everybody saying the. N-word over and over. I don't think they had that word back. then. I think if you want to do it. right, they'll make it they'll make one. up. I think if they really wanted to do. it right, they should probably do it the. way like Mel Gibson did Apocalypto. That.

was a bad ass [ __ ] movie, bro. You. felt that movie, bro. you But you know what I'm saying? Like. hearing the people say it and and the. same thing he did with The Passion of. the Christ, they spoke in the language. and it was all subtitles. Like they. spoke in the language so you were. transmitted exactly how these people. were saying. You felt like it was real. Like Apocalypto, you felt like it was. real. Like there was no English in that. movie. That That is a blockbuster movie. That is a wild action adventure movie.

That movie was hardcore, man. The. Passion of the Christ and Apocalypto. There's something about being sucked. into hearing the actual language of the. people that would be doing that. It's so. much better than cuz like whenever they. do like Game of Thrones or something. like that in another country, all of a sudden everybody has an English. accent. Yes. That's how they do it. Instead of. talking like an American, you can't talk. like us cuz that would just throw people. off. So you have to have some sort of a. proper way. the exorcist, man. Like if the exorcist. the devil. would have had like an Irish accent, it.

would have been a totally different. movie. But but the Latin accent the. whatever language Latin language. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [ __ ] yeah. You like You don't even know. what the language is but you're [ __ ]. scared. Right. It has to be exotic. You can't. have the devil going, "Hey, you [ __ ]. piece of [ __ ] I'm going to [ __ ] your. eyeballs.". You better get out of my garage. Yeah, you can't have the devil talking. like. Jerry Seinfeld. I speak in absolutes. Yeah. You can't have the devil with a. whiny voice.

Or a Boston accent you know from. That was the scariest thing about Mike. Tyson. He had this voice this little like voice. that was so easy to make fun of and he. [ __ ] murdered everybody. It was almost like he was begging you to. make fun of his voice. Dangerous dudes. Yeah, it was almost like he was like. begging you. You like like you bro. You're you're like you're like one of. the guys. You're like um to someone who. doesn't know you personally, you're like. try me. No, I'm not like that at all. though. I'm really If I didn't know you.

and I saw you walking on the street and. you're not Joe Rogan, I'd be like okay. man, this guy is good fight. He's. healthy. Stay away from him. I'm. friendly. That's what we all need my friend. We. need friendly. But you've been friendly. since day one though. I was talking to the your driver um. um Rebel. about when you gave me that solo pipe. Mhm. And then um you say you stopped. using it because of butane. Yeah. And I.

remember um I was telling you that. the reason they call solo pipe cuz. you're supposed to use it by yourself, but I remember I told everybody you gave. it to me and everybody wanted to hit it. And by the time I got it back, it was. [ __ ] hot. Yeah. I remember those. things. I I try to stay like I think if. you're smoking a cigar, like butane is. the way to go. You know, you burn the. end of it, but you don't want to like. keep doing it. You want to I feel like a. certain amount of this is a chemical, no. matter what. Like that's a chemical. You. only want so much of that. You really.

should probably have matches if you're. going to light if you're going to smoke. a cigar. Matches? Yeah, you should. really probably have matches. And I. think if you're like a super cigar nerd, they do it even further. They take cedar. and they light cedar strips and they use. that to to light their cigar. Those are. super nerds. Cedar strips? What is that? dog. Pieces of wood. They light little. strips of wood and then they light from. pure wood, then they light their cigar. These are super nerds when it comes to.

cigars. Like they get into it. That's why that guy said in um Gangs of. New York, give me some ember. Give me some ember? Ember? Oh, that's that's that's that And what. is amber? Fire? Oh. Oh, [ __ ]. Yeah, so these guys they they take. little cedar strips and they light them. on fire and then they light their cigar. from the cedar strips. So, this way. you're not getting any of the butane. fumes. I don't even know how much you. would get. I don't, you know.

Could burn it later? Yeah, sure. You know how to work it? Put. the thing back? We're probably going to find out that. Okay. every time you burn a lighter near you, you inhale like 10 times more than. you're ever supposed to in your life. Really? We'll probably find something like that. out someday. It can't be so good to have convenient. fire. Like. fire that quickly means like you've got. some. funky.

gases that you're burning. You're. burning some funky gases there. Oh, horrible. Cuz I remember like laying. a match and then you get the ugly ass. You know what's real bad? What? Scented candles. Scented candles apparently are not. healthy. Jamie, Google that. Um maybe I should say some scented. candles. Maybe there's a way to do it. organically. We should find out that's true, too, cuz. that would be a good thing to know. Because I think there's some things in.

some scented candles that you're not. supposed to inhale. And when you're. a person that likes to have candles, and. who doesn't? They're cool. You want to have candles in your house? That's dope. Like candlelight dinner. with a bunch of friends? That's dope. Right? But I think it's the scented. ones. It says it's the ones that are made from. paraffin. The ones that are made from paraffin are. the problem. It's a cheap byproduct primarily sourced. from the refinement of petroleum. So, you're burning petroleum. Paraffin is.

the most used candle wax worldwide, according to the National Candle. Association, the major trade association. representing US candle manufacturers and. their suppliers. So, it's all candles. made from paraffin. However, few studies on candle emissions. or their potential effects on human. health exist and conclusions from the. research are mixed. There is no overall. conclusion that paraffin candles will. either Oh, excuse me, either will or. won't harm your health, says. pulmonologist Dr. Sobia Farooq, a.

clinical assistant professor at the. Cleveland Clinic Lerner College of. Medicine. But, the risk may also depend. on various factors including candle type. and quality, how often and how long. you're burning it, the air flow in the. space where you're burning it, your. health status, and more. Well, either either it's not good for you or. it's fine. It's These are the options. And it seems to me like there's a little. gaslighting going on here. Like, how. could it be good for you to have. petroleum burning in your house? I want.

you to show me a study that that's like. tell. it measure the [ __ ] air in the room. when you have three candles. Measure the. air in the room when you have four. candles. Measure keep going. Tell me. when I'm going to get lung cancer from. this [ __ ]. Because. Wow. Yeah, benzene, a known carcinogen, is another VOC. released by paraffin candles. Hawk added, "Long-term exposure to this. chemical has been linked to blood. disorders such as leukemia. When.

inhaled, benzene can also be a. respiratory. irritant. Which means it could probably. Yeah. [ __ ] [ __ ] So, people think candles are. cool. It's got. Oh, man. But, what about What is What is a candle. that you can use? Like, can There's got. to be candles that are not bad. I hope all those candles that I've. gotten in a massage parlor were safe. New candle. Oh, now, candles made from. soy wax, beeswax, or stearin, coconut.

oil, or animal fats are often considered. healthier, but anything that is burned. emits harmful particulates or chemicals, Evan said. So, these candles also. release VOCs into the air. It's just. that paraffin wax is usually more. polluting according to so Oh, great. So, they all suck. The risk of toxic. emissions is greater when candles are. scented or dyed, which is another reason. why paraffin-free candles aren't. immediately in the clear. This This is. because artificial fragrances have VOCs,

including phthalates, which have been. linked to learning and behavior. problems, obesity, impaired development. of the reproductive systems, and more. Evan said the unscented candle in the. 2015 research also caused concerning. concentrations of toxins, but had the. lowest amount compared with its scented. counterparts. Yeah, but what ratio? I wonder how much lower. Candle Oh, the National Candle. Association maintains that candles are. safe for use in the home, a spokesperson.

said in a statement. First of all, you can't totally say. anything's safe cuz I I was dating a. girl once and she burnt her [ __ ]. house down with candles. That's exaggerating. She burnt a wall. in her house. What was she doing? She just let her candles burn down and. something caught fire and it like lit. the side of her [ __ ] bedroom wall. Like her her wall was on fire. She liked candles. So, they're not.

totally safe. It's fire. Fire's not. totally safe. [ __ ] lighters aren't. totally safe. You can't say it's safe. Like you could you could definitely do. something stupid with it. Like you know. what's safe? Marshmallows. Marshmallows are safe. Not if you light them. It's not good to eat. They're bad for. your body, but they're [ __ ] safe. They're not going to kill you. Unless you're burning them to make. s'mores with a lighter and a fork. You you what's supposed to be really bad. for you? Paper straws. Paper straws have those forever. chemicals in them.

See if that's true. Otherwise, we'll have to cut this out. without getting sued by the paper straw. industry. Oh. Speaking of straws, right? Everybody. knows that paper straws came around. because everybody saw that video of that. turtle with that straw in his nose. That's the only reason why we started. looking at paper straws different than. everything else, right? Remember plastic? Plastic. Okay. Plastic straws came about What did I say. paper? Plastic straws came about because.

of that video of that turtle with the. plastic straw in his nose, right? Remember that? Yeah. That was it. like in their nose, right? Yeah, deep deep in the turtle's nose. New studies have found that 90% of paper. straws tested contain forever chemicals. or PFAS. compared to 75% of plastic straws. So, even plastic straws have those [ __ ]. chemicals in them, but it's even worse. for you to use paper straws. Paper. straws assessed by researchers at. University of Antwerp, Belgium were. found to contain more forever chemicals.

per polyfluoroal-. fluoroal- How do you say that? Give it a. shot. Poly-. Philly Bay. Polyfluoroacro. Yeah, substances or PFASs than plastic, but all of them are bad for you. What. it's basically saying is that even. straws, 75% of plastic straws have. tested that they contain forever. chemicals. That's not good. So, all of. it's bad. We should probably abandon the. idea of straws.

I like McDonald's straws, the big fat. one. Here's what you don't want, a metal. straw in a Stanley and then fall on your. face, okay? Cuz people have done that. Idiots. Well, listen, I've fallen before. I No, but I've fallen before. I'm I'm an. idiot. No, I haven't, but I would. imagine like I would you know. You just because you fall with a straw. doesn't mean you're an idiot, but it. people got to be aware that that's. basically a metal shank that's going to. go right through your face if you trip.

You got to carry that thing if you're. like clumsy, like as if you're carrying. a knife, like move it away from your. body, you know, don't catch your body. with it if you fall down and then stab. yourself in the face. you wouldn't let your baby hold that. Why you holding it? Yeah. Yeah, why you holding that? You're. not ready for that yet. ready. Well, especially if you're clumsy. Clumsy people should really know they're. clumsy and be super careful with what. they're carrying. Are you clumsy? Yeah, man. Don't carry a rake. outside over there going I was I was. holding a baseball.

and I'm thinking I I'm holding a. baseball and I'm looking at the werewolf. and I'm thinking. I'm looking at my wife. I bet you I could throw a knuckleball. and make it right in the [ __ ]. werewolf's mouth. You know, you know, you don't [ __ ] something upside down. Yeah, don't [ __ ] up my werewolf, bro. That's one of my prized possessions. And even if you could hit it, what does. that prove? Don't want to break the werewolf's. teeth. What are you trying to prove, Felipe? That I still got to throw a knuckleball. Were you a baseball player? Hell no. No? But you had a good knuckleball or.

no? No, I I was good at playing street ball. with a tennis ball. and I could make I had a good junk on a. tennis ball. And we would throw it like. a regular fastball. Yeah. And I could make that [ __ ] Man, I was. good. Dude, we used to play stickball in the. street. That was fun when we were kids. I don't get that game. I. I Wikipedia the other day to learn how. to play cuz they're having like a a. stickball tournament in New York last. week when I was there. Yeah, that that's. the video I saw. Yeah. That's Yeah, cuz they were having a. tournament. All the veterans that used. to play stickball in New York showed up.

to play and these guys in the. Yeah, bro. But I never knew the game cuz. in LA we play over the line. That's a good way to get a staph. infection. Look at that, bro. Sliding on concrete. Good way. They're getting pumped. Yeah. looks like. a guy who plays really good stickball. Terror squad. Yeah, it's a city thing. A broomstick, right? When I played it when I lived in Jamaica. Plain, which I little place outside of. Boston, we played that. You should play.

stickball in the street. It's people get. mad at you. You hit their car with a. tennis ball. It was stupid, but kids are just always. looking for something to do back then. Now they're all online. I used to play crazy games growing up, bro, that I'm pretty sure kids don't. play that anymore. I used to play this game this game. called huevos, which called eggs. We. used to put like a bunch of holes on the. floor. with your name on it, and then somebody. will throw a tennis ball. And whoever the ball lands in that hole, that person has to grab that ball and. [ __ ] somebody up in the back before they.

get it make it to the wall. And um that person you hit has to grab. that ball and then hit people on the way. back before they get to the other side. of the wall. And if you miss everybody, you get an. egg on your on your little hole. And. once you get four of them, we all take. turns [ __ ] you up with a tennis ball. while you're just standing there at. this. Jesus Christ. Yeah, there was no cable back then. And we didn't want to join gangs. I think you did. And we didn't want to. read. You guys had a softcore gang.

We didn't have no Boy Scouts. That's a crazy way to make friends. And we have you you got to play suicide. though? I I don't remember. How's it go? It's a handball court, a wall, and you. throw a ball. And there's five kids, and you catch it. But if you miss it, everybody starts. [ __ ] you up. No, I never played that. it to the wall. No, I never played that.

Never played that. And we'll tell you you know, everybody. stand by the wall, and you throw the. ball against the wall. You try to catch. it, and if you miss, they they [ __ ] jump you till you get. to the wall with the ball? [ __ ] that. Oh, that's why I get really mad. of it, too? It's suicide. Oh my god, I didn't. kind of explaining the. Oh my god. Requires at least two players. Can have. as many as can be accommodated by the. playing area. But this is funny when. they take a game like this and they.

break it down. Like these are the rules. We did play wall ball. We did We called. it wall ball. You called it wall ball? Did you do like that? It was honestly I was like if you [ __ ]. if you [ __ ] up, you'd have to stand on. the wall and people could throw the. There it is. Right there. They're. [ __ ] them up. They're open to be. Until the player touches the wall, they're open to be pegged, struck hard. with a thrown ball by the player who. caught it. If a player become comes into. contact with the ball, but fails to. catch it, they're also open to be. pegged. I mean, that's what it was. It's a tough word to use, but that's. what it is. Getting hit by a tennis ball is a good.

thing to get hit by, though, right? It. sucks. Like if someone's throwing it, it. sucks. But it's not going to kill you. There's always that [ __ ] kid that. didn't like that kid who was going to. get hit. Mhm. that [ __ ] ball in a shitload of water. and mud. Oh, that's a problem. He's cheating. He. can't cheat. That guy's. Oh. Also, remember um is is that person. that's supposed to get hit by the ball. runs home? We'll [ __ ] We'll [ __ ]. chase him home, bro. Beat him up in. front of his mom.

Boy. That's why cable's important. Yes, man. That's why the internet's important, YouTube. You got to keep people. pacified. TikTok saved your life. Imagine if it did. Imagine if it saved a. few lives. People just at home scrolling. instead of out gang banging. You know? I mean, everybody gets. addicted to it. If you you just you. don't go out and do terrible things. because you just scrolling and staring. at your TikTok. I don't know, man. I I don't know if. kids still shoplift for fun. I bet they do. You know, there's been.

like famous people that have been caught. shoplifting. I think a lot of people who. shoplift shop lift. you were little? I did. You were hungry? I got No, no, no. I was just. dumb and young and I got caught when. do it now, right? Like you you see an. opportunity. I did it like a couple times ever. It. was like candy bars and [ __ ] When I was. like I was just hanging around with a. bunch of bad kids and we would do that. We would go It was like It was a thrill. You'd go to a store and steal something. And I think we probably did it two or. three times and I got caught.

I don't do it anymore. But. I felt so stupid. I know. But sometimes I'm walking around. and I see like like a pack of donuts. Mhm. But they're far from where the donuts. are. Right. Like they're by the shoe and they're. open. And I'm like I'm all high looking at the. donut and I'm like damn, you're lost. Joey Diaz used to swipe lighters from. 7-Eleven just to stay sharp. Even when he had money, he would swipe. lighters.

Just to stay on his toes. How you doing, brother? I saw him. I saw him do that while he's talking to. the guy and he put his Snickers. Yeah, he's got some hand movements to. distract you. I think that was a game, man, that road. comics would do, bro, on the way to a. gig. Who could shoplift the most [ __ ]. out of the gas station? That's not good for our reputation. That's not good for our reputation as. traveling traveling entertainers. You get power bars.

It's gas station food, man. Those those. times when you're on the road and all. you're eating is garbage. Hell yeah, man. You got to buy a grilled. cheese there and put on pork rinds in. there from the package. You got to take a chance with the bean. and cheese burrito that you microwave. You have to like open that strip of. plastic. Those are good though. They're They're. When you're hungry, Ramonus. Every now and then you got like good. food at a gas station. You're like why. doesn't everybody do this? Like. sometimes you go to a gas station and. it's like a gas station but it's also. like a taco spot. Fried chicken,

cheeseburgers. You're like, damn, those. cheese that always like legit [ __ ]. cheeseburger. Okay. Where am I? This place is dangerous. here. I mean, you would make more money, right? That's what Buc-ee's figured out. Cuz you can order what the [ __ ] you. want. We got it, dude. We got barbecue, pickled dicks. Let's go. We got eggs, cheese, milk. You can buy a house. You can buy a [ __ ] sled. What do you. need? You need fishing poles? What do you need? You need a hamburger? What else? Yeti cooler and a Traeger grill. We got.

those. We got a shower in a bag if you want a. shower. They're making a Disney Buc-ee's and. it's going to have rides in it. You know, there's a lawsuit going on. with Buc-ee's. There's a They're. claiming that these people copied their. logo. Which one? The. Chucky's? No, it's another spot that has like. another kind of an animal. Yeah, they do that with all That's. knockoff. They knock off and that. Wherever that is, they knock off all. sorts of stores. I'm trying to find my. guy. Is it in another country? Yeah, I think so. Oh, I thought it was in America. Yeah, it's in Mexico. Oh, interesting. Oh, Mexico loves to do.

that. There's a fake. I've seen that. No, no, no. I've seen. that. That's not it, though. That's the. That's the fake Buc-ee's in Mexico. Put. that picture up again. Put that picture. up again. Oh my god. Cuz there's a fake In-N-Out in Mexico, too. Oh, that's so funny, man. And there's a fake In-N-Out in. California, too. the fake In-N-Out in Mexico. There's a. fake one in California? Yeah, it's called Easy Takeout and I. think they used to be They They. same same uniforms, same stand, same.

burgers, but they they just added a. breakfast burger. It's called Easy. Takeout in West Covina. Wow. So, they copied the the logo. It's a very similar here. They're That's. That's what the lawsuit's about. Same. city, Templelupis, Mexico. Oh, yeah, they even got a little gap in. between it. Buc-ee's knockoff Lucky. spotted. He's lucky to have two teeth. But that's the one in Mexico, right, Jamie? they're both. I told you they both. I don't think this other one is in.

Mexico. I might be wrong. 2 months ago, Buc-ee's taking legal. action against Mexican company. Shut up. I swear. That's what came up while I was looking. up. Oh, okay. Well, what was that animal? That was like a He The Buc-ee's is a. beaver, right? So, what was that other. animal? What was the The Lucky. Who's. Lucky? Is Lucky a rabbit? Like, what is. Lucky? Lucky's also a baby beaver. Okay. No. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Where's Lucky's? What if one of you dumbasses Oh my god,

it is a beaver. What is it? He's wearing a suit. Oh, he's a [ __ ]. Oh, it's a raccoon. Oh, okay. No, you can't do that. He's got a mask, man. He's a bandito. Why can't you do that, though? Why can't. you have Harry's or How about George's. and have Curious George? They could, you know, get together, little franchise. Curious George. Everybody loves Curious. George. Or Enrique. Would that be okay? Like, if they have. George's, would they get sued? Or Enrique.

There is a different lawsuit. Superfuels trademark infringement. Let. me see. Could you imagine if like the owners, whoever owns the the. Oh, yeah, this is even This is a little. different. Whoa. Cuz it's like a. Oh, that's it. That's the one I saw. Superfuels. So, there's it's just They're saying. it's because it's got a smiling animal. And the red hat. See, I don't know. I'm not on board with. that one. Yeah, I'm trying to see what they're. trying to. I'm not on board with that one. I can't. I can't think that you could own the. idea of having any kind of cute animal.

as a part of your logo. That seems kind. of ridiculous. I don't understand. copyright law, but doesn't that seem. like a little ridiculous to you? Yeah. Lucky. Like, what if it's a What if it's a cat. and you make it Kitties? And you have a cute little cat. Are you. telling me that I can't make a business. called Kitties? That depends where you're where you're. doing business at and how. how much of a copyright you have kind. of. Like is it nationwide? Did you have. an international copyright which is. really tough. is that a copyright infringement if you.

have kiddies? It depends on what if if you're not. doing the same business. imagine someone has a copyright to the. ability I mean I don't understand any of. this stuff. So. clearly I'm talking out of my ass. But. imagine if somebody has a copyright to. just owning the ability to use a cartoon. character. in your logo. That seems completely. insane. Doesn't it? Yeah. But. what's his name This is comedy club in. Tommy T's. He used to have the Laurel. and Hardy the the the what you call it.

the Laurel and Hardy logos. Laurel and Hardy? Yeah it was like yeah and for his comedy. club and he got he got sued by Bozo the. Clown. He owned the. Bozo owned Laurel and Hardy? Yeah the the the the the cartoon and. anything that you put cartoon on it with. Laurel and Hardy's face. Imagine going back watching Laurel. Hardy. Imagine showing somebody that had. no idea about American culture at all. Yes. Going back and you show them Laurel.

Hardy and then right after you show them. Chappelle Show when Dave plays the blind. white supremacist that's black. Yeah that guy. But imagine imagine seeing like what. this is what comedy started out as. and this is comedy later. That is a wild ride. Yes man. That's a wild ride. The ride from like. Abbott and Costello. Yes. Who's on first? Who's on first? Eddie Cantor bro.

Who's Eddie Cantor? Eddie Cantor was the first comedian to. do radio. And and he was. cuz I I have a history for fools podcast. so I learned about the. the history of stand-up comedy. Plus. thought that I watched the documentary. but he was one of the first guys, but he. was like he was very clean, bro. He sang. and um. Can we hear some of this? Hear some of. this.

He was getting paid $500. for 5 minutes shows on radio. Eddie Cantor. He was the first black guy to have a. radio comedy show. What is it I'm trying to hear what he's. saying. What is he saying? He's singing. Some vaudeville nonsense.

The dumb ones know how to make love. Yeah. Jesus Christ. The dumb ones know how to make love. That sounds like something Theo would. say on stage. And um. I like them dumb. He'll be on the radio, bro, talking and. then he'll pinch the chicks. in their butts. Oh god. Yeah, and then like they wouldn't say. nothing and finally a woman said. something. Mr. Cantor. And he had her fired.

Mhm. Well, I kind of remember like people back then. were basically barbarians. Yeah. 1920s people. Bro, back then it was. War I, bro. Back then for a stand-up comedian like. when I found out was imagine you do a. gig. $200 back then, right? And the promoter. says. I'm not I'm not going to the gangsters. I'm not going to pay you. And that's you. don't get paid and they will call the. cops. Yeah, there's a couple of three. vagrants walking around now town. And. then you're three comedians walking. around town with no hotel,

Yeah. no pay and they're going to pick you up. for being a hobo now. Yeah, you could get stuffed, for sure. But that was back then, bro. The hard. times. Imagine from then to now. Well, I think there's probably still a lot of. [ __ ] gigs like that out there for a lot. of guys that are coming up. But it's. just now there's more real gigs. Yeah, better gigs. Well, it's. comedy is more accessible, you know, because of YouTube and everything. Comedy is just way it's everywhere, you.

know, like your special. Oh, tell everybody. Oh, I have a special. right now. What a segue. Yeah, I have a special right now on. Netflix, Raging Fool. We shot it at the Crest Theater in. Sacramento. Two shows. My wife directed. it and executive produced. She executive. produced all my specials. But um. we shot it with our own money and. we paid everybody and then we we we sold. it to Netflix. We made a two-year deal. Oh, that's awesome. So we only. You're great. I love the love the. tracksuit. Yes, cuz I'm Raging Bull cuz Raging Fool.

cuz I'm Raging Bull. I love the tracksuit. It's dope. Cuz I was watching that movie Raging. Bull. Yeah. and I was thinking that when Jake. LaMotta had nothing left to do in his. life, he had nothing how to make money. Right. He said, "You know what? I'm going to be. a comedian.". So and I thought like, "Wow.". He had nothing else to do with his life. so he figured out that. I'm going to do stand-up comedy. Cuz that was the last thing and then for. us it's like the first thing. Well, that happens with actors. sometimes, too, when their careers kind.

of dwindle, they start doing stand-up. That happens. And yeah, like he when he would do You. saw the movie, right, Raging Bull when. he was doing stand-up? And he's at the. he's at a bar called. Jimmy's Corner Bar. and that bar is still there. You know, Stanhope was friends with him. Really? Yeah, cuz the guy that guy lived down in. Arizona where Stanhope lived. Oh, that's cool, man. Yeah, he's like got photos of him. hanging out over his house and [ __ ]. Yeah. Yeah, Jake LaMotta was Stanhope's boy. And that's a real story. Man, Jake. LaMotta was a character.

Yeah. That was a wild fellow. A wild, crazy fellow and goddamn Robert. De Niro nailed [ __ ] nailed it. Now. Nailed it, huh? Nailed it. I mean nailed it. Like he looked like an. animal when he was Jake LaMotta like the. younger Jake LaMotta. Did you [ __ ] my wife? Yeah. Oh Jesus Christ, he was so scary. He was so scary cuz he was just out of. his [ __ ] mind and so dangerous. And it was based on a real guy, man. I. mean I mean the the movie is real close.

to how that guy was Jake LaMotta when he. was in his prime. He was a [ __ ]. monster, man. I like when he looks at his hands. and then he goes like he he don't like. his hands cuz they're they're not. they're not big I guess. He goes. I can never be a heavyweight. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Crazy. That's crazy. That's a different kind of. human, man. And back then they there was a lot of. people like that. This is you got to go. back and put your mind into what it must.

have been like to be Jake LaMotta. growing up in like what? So what what. year was Jake. in his prime? What what year did he. fight Sugar Ray Robinson? Let's ask. that. Jake LaMotta versus Sugar Ray. Robinson. 62? 59? 42. 42. 42. 42, okay? Madison Square Garden 1942. So you got. to imagine. Wow. you got to just put your mind into the. type of people that lived back then. I.

mean that that like cars were new, sewage was new, like people had been. coming over in boats, crim- criminals. were everywhere, crime was everywhere, organized crime was the the rule of the. law in all the Italian communities, the. Irish communities. You know, that was the thing. 42, wow. Yeah. This was just. United States like you ever watch that. movie uh Gangs of New York? Yes. [ __ ] great movie, right? That's a. [ __ ] great movie and probably.

pretty accurate. Yes. Roughly pretty accurate the way life was. back then. Some of those gangsters that were in. that movie were actually real people. I believe it. Like that woman in that movie, I think. you talked about it, the one that used. to collect ears and put them in a jar. Yeah. Yeah, she was an actual real person. She. had a bar. where people where people would just put. have a jar full of pickled ears and. noses from previous fights. Oh my god. Jesus.

And they'll have fights in the back with. a mongoose fighting a dog. Oh my god. Gangs of New York, man. That movie is so because we don't think. of New York that way. You think of New. York as like New York City, well, it was. kind of dangerous in the 70s and then, you know, Giuliani cleaned it up and. then, you know, it's pretty. commercialized in a lot of ways, but. still a beautiful city. But New York. during the time of that when whenever. that film was supposed to represent was. a wild, crazy, almost like wild west.

type place. Like we think of a wild we think of. those kind of scenes when you think of a. wild west movie, right? Right, you think. Yeah, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Yeah, you think of people getting. stabbed and shot and but that was. happening over there, too. It's like. it's not like. it's not like it never happened on the. East Coast and they only did it on the. West and they. on people. It was happening in the whole country. The whole and they they had just gotten. I mean, these people had just gotten. done with a [ __ ] Civil War. Right? Yeah. Cuz back then, you got to think 1940.

you go to the like the 1860s to the. 1940s, that's not that much time. Nah. That's pretty quick. That's 80 years. A. lot of those [ __ ] are still alive. Same mentality, same craziness. you got more immigrants coming in on. boats. No YouTube to watch, just a women. of prayer. Someone told them to come. I always think about that, man, like. when the when the. Jesus. Yeah, her. She supposedly was real, yeah. She was Maggie. How come Maggie? Jesus Christ. I think about the when the the Irish are.

coming in at the same time that when. that that movie's happening. and they told him, "You want a free. meal? You want to fight for your. country?" And they give him a uniform. and their families go off to New York. and they go off to fight the South. Jesus Christ. Just imagine coming out of the boat and. someone just hands you a gun and a piece. of bread and go go fight for America. And I think about that like what are. some hardcore people right there, man. You want Yeah, yeah, yeah, hardcore. people. And different times, man.

Desperate. Yeah, and then people look old older. than than they do now. Oh, yeah, they look old quick. Yeah, like you look at a person's photo. and you go, "How old is that kid? He. looks like 70." Oh, 25-year-old kid. working in a coal mine. Yeah. Working in coal mines, those people all. got sick. They all got [ __ ] up. I. mean, that's environmental pollution. that you're signing up for. Like you're. going to go breathe coal dust no matter. what. You everyone gets They all get. horrible [ __ ]. That what is that black lung? That's. Terrifying. And then you've got people.

that just live around coal plants and. they're breathing that [ __ ] and they. don't even They don't even a part of. that business. I know, man. Like Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Bro, there's a place that we uh showed a. video once. It was uh Was it Indiana, Jamie? Yeah? Yeah. So, there's like three coal plants near. this city and these people they can wipe. their windshield and they have black. soot on their fingers. Shut up. It just. Here in America? Yeah, it's in America. So, these people. are for sure breathing that [ __ ] in.

the Pittsburgh? Indiana. Oh, Indiana. Yeah. That's scary. That's scary. And And. that's a fraction of what's going on in. China, bro. Oh, yeah, cuz I when I was I was in I. was in Seattle and I was waiting I was. crossing the waiting for the car to. pass. I was going to my show and I saw a. It was like a two a mile train, and it. was all coal. Coal, real black coal coming from. Minnesota. And I asked the cop that was. what standing there,

I don't I go I didn't know we still mine. coal. And he goes, "Well, we we we don't use it, but uh it's all. going to China.". Really? Yeah, like it was like a mile, bro, of. coal and um. and it had no cover on it. That's crazy. was just falling off. They said that um well, I don't know how. much coal flies. I don't know much [ __ ]. about coal, but I just know what the guy. told me. There was a mile train of coal. coming from Minnesota on that one line, and there was a boat. I can see the boat where it where it was.

going. Wow. And it's all going to China. Yeah. Yeah, they're full steam ahead with. coal. Hey. So, we should check to see if maybe they. know something we don't. I know, man. What are they producing. with that coal? They're doing a lot. I mean, they. produce so many of the things that we. need, which is one of the craziest. things that we all found out when. everything got locked down is you. couldn't get anything cuz so much of. what you wanted was made in China. You're like, "Oh my god." Or made in. Russia, or made in anywhere where they.

had to come in on a ship. You know, like. that became a real [ __ ] problem. I thought it was made in Akron, Ohio. Yeah, they hardly make [ __ ] here. In. comparison to what we consume, we. consume way more, probably I would. guess, than any country. of a similar size. And. I'm sure that. Yo, dog. Still rocking a Samsung. I love it. I. love when a comic holds out and doesn't. go iPhone. Oh, no, man. I like this is a bigger. phone. It has a little pen. You like the pen. You're one of those.

guys. Which one is that? The. um. Is that the S24? Yeah, it's that one. That one. S24 Ultra? Yeah. Is that the newest one or the one right. before it? Right before it. There's a new one that just came out. It's pretty dope, dude. I think you're a year and a half ago, I. think. No, yeah, that's the old one. That's the. S24 Ultra. I have that one. That one's. sick. It does a lot of cool [ __ ]. Good videos, right? Yeah, it's great great at a lot of. stuff, but what the interesting thing is. the AI. So, what I like about it is. I can go uh to a website and if I open.

it up in the Samsung browser, and then. I'll I can say summarize, and it'll. summarize the website for me. Oh, didn't know that. Yeah, so if there's something that's. taking forever for you to get to the. point cuz you want me to keep scrolling. and scrolling and scrolling and. scrolling and scrolling while you show. ads all over the place. That's a trap. It'll just tell you, "Oh, there's an. asteroid that might hit Earth within the. next, you know, [ __ ] 60 years." Like, "Oh, great. There's a 3% What is the. percent chance?". Down to 1.5 today.

Thank god. You leave what? Only 1.5%? I think I take a picture like uh I could. take a picture of you, right? And then. do that one screen, and then I circle. it, and it'll find a sweater for me. You That's cool. That's really cool. But. that's uh I think that's available on. all phones now. I think the new iPhone. update has that as well, where you can. Google search a thing and it'll show you. where to buy it. That That was my my wife always wanted. She wanted like to. have it where you're watching. television, and you pause it with your. finger, and make a circle, and then.

and it just shifts to your house. You know when people are going to be fed. up with that thing? When um. First of all, you can only buy so much [ __ ] But. second of all, like, what what happens. like, you know those those glasses that. they wear now, those meta glasses? Have. you seen this Harvard kid? that the one that you you could record. now? I yeah, I've seen those. Some Harvard kid figured out how to use. facial recognition software with that. So, he sees you, gets a photo of you, immediately gets a Wikipedia on you, or.

whatever the [ __ ] is available online, sees your Instagram page, finds your. address, and it was wild. You're like, "Wait uh wait, hit the brakes. It it sound like the T-1000 Terminator? Yeah, it's like hit the brakes. Hit the. brakes. But I don't think they can. Was there a movie like that? Yeah, there's been a bunch of movies. like that. The movie with uh Roddy Piper was like. that, wasn't it? Oh, They Live. That was the day of the. glasses, right? Yes. Right. That was the aliens. I think about that when when I when you.

sometimes you have a guest and go, "Wait. a minute, he's talking about those. glasses from Roddy Piper.". It's similar. I think the Roddy Piper. glasses um you put them on, you could. see what everybody really looked like. You could see through the whatever. energy field they were projecting. It. was these alien creatures that were. pretending to be people. And there's a lot of people that believe. that now. I'm less inclined to believe that, but. I'm open. I wouldn't want to get tricked. I mean, if there really are people that are. actually aliens that are amongst us that.

look like people and behave like people. I actually This is This is the guy who. figured it out. Try to say his name. Felipe, hit me with it. I Curie. What's the first one? Right there. Try that. Oh, it's um. It's An Fu Nguyen. I think. N K N Arduflo. I don't think it they say Nguyen. I. think they say Gwen, right? Cuz there's been a few fighters in the. UFC Vietnamese fighters that have that.

same spelling and I think they say it as. Can you find out how they say it, Jamie? So it's An Fu Gwen, okay. I can see it. Little Dutch there. N K N. Ardufio Ardufio. Ardufio Um so they figured out how to do. this. up names now. No, this is his real name, man. That just explains that anybody can do. it. My name is An Fu Nguyen. Woah. Can you Can you scroll so we can.

explain. I mean, you want to. how it's possible to do it today, how to. remove your information. Oh, jeez. It's literally like the instructions. So it's just showing how to remove your. face from face or search engines, which. you're not going to be able to do. eventually. It's getting weird out there for people. what what what the black face, green. face, bro? I had a friend of mine who came in here. the other day and he he's down to a flip. phone. And his flip phone was. interesting cuz it has Android on it. His flip phone, you can actually get.

text messages on it and you have a. little tiny ass screen on the flip phone. where you can kind of clumsily type your. way through a sentence. So, you don't. have to do it with like a full keyboard. like an iPhone or your phone, but you. also it's inconvenient. So, you don't. text as much. You don't go on these. long-winded diatribes like a lot of. people do. You just real simple. The whole screen is on there, but you. got to navigate all the way around to. read everything. Yeah, the. I remember those. It's a tiny little ass screen. It's got. regular buttons to make phone calls. And.

then on his little tiny ass screen, there's a tiny ass keyboard about that. big. And you get in there with that tiny. ass keyboard and you try to type a text. message and then you can press send. And. so, it's inconvenient. So, you don't go. on Twitter, you don't check things out, you just get your text messages. It can. do other stuff if you absolutely [ __ ]. need it to. But live your life, [ __ ]. And he was in here with that. I was. like, man, that seems cool, but I like. watching YouTube on my phone, so I don't. know what to tell you. That sounds like the Larry Bubbles Brown.

from San Francisco. Yeah? He still has the flip phone. Uh David Tell? Wow. David Tell has a flip phone. Yeah, you. should see him text message. Do they have. Do they both have the original phone. numbers when you first met them? No. No, they've all changed numbers. Yeah, you have to change every now and. then. It's, you know, you got to purge. Got to keep moving. I think I still. I still have my same phone number for. the last. 20 years? Damn, one of those dudes, a holdout. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes that's good. But it gets.

annoying sometimes. You know. It's all in. you got to manage your time. number a lot? Nice people. People I trust. You got to you got to. manage your time. Like in it. The thing is about a guy like you is. like you're headlining and you're on the. road. Dudes want to open up for you. You. got the Netflix special. They want to. hang out with you. It's like you got to. manage your time because you can't give. your time away to everybody. Like. there's a certain amount of time you. need for yourself. If you don't have. that time you need for yourself you go. off the rails.

Yeah. You got to you got to. take time to recenter all the time. All. the time. And if you're constantly. getting this and that and that and that. and that and that you're constantly. interacting you're never alone you're. never without your [ __ ]. Yeah. I like I get in a sauna and I stretch. out every day. I get down there. I. [ __ ] stretch everything out. When. you're doing that you can't do anything. else. You can't be scrolling on TikTok. when you're stretching everything out. You got to just go through your routine. And then that clears my mind. And I feel.

like if you don't make room for that. you're going to [ __ ] your life up. And. I know that there's only so many people. that I can entertain and help with. stuff. There's only so many there's so. many people that are just. it's a transactional kind of a. conversation you have with them. It's. not fun. It's not like what's up dude? Hey what's up? Those are great. Yeah. But then there's a lot of could you do. this? Would you do that? Will you fly to. here and do and like. I know.

You know. So you got to like know when. to change your number. What time you get up? It depends. Most days 8:00. I was up at. 8:00 today. 8:00 is good. I tell you I I tell you I. throw it out like my bro I get up at. 5:00 every day. Yeah I don't think that's necessary. There's a thing like people always want. to do. where they want to show themselves that. they have the discipline to get up. I. respect that. Like Jocko does that. You. know Jocko Willink? No. No, he's every. Jocko is uh. he's amazing dude. He's uh.

former Navy SEAL um who uh is like one. of the most inspirational guys I know. And. he writes books on leadership, just. brilliant guy, has an excellent podcast, solid dude, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black. belt. And he. like. every morning takes a photo of his watch. that says 4:30 a.m. I want to see that guy. This is This is him. He's every morning when he's waking up. You get his shitty Iron Man I shouldn't. say shitty because they're [ __ ].

durable as [ __ ] This little Iron Man. triathlon watches. Oh, it looks like you. got a new watch. Mhm. That's a new watch, Jocko. You can't. fool me. I know your old watch. Go back to the. old watch pictures. Look, so it's every. day 4:30 his [ __ ] watch. Sometimes. 4:14, takes a photo of it and then he. works out. He's just a legit dude. Wow, that's that's dedication. So, that's him though. He likes doing. that. He likes doing that. Um. but he's not a comedian. You know what.

I'm saying? I think like for a comedian. you can't be that rigid. You you'll get. a little psychotic. You can't be that rigid. You got to have. discipline, but you also got to have. fun. You got to So, I don't get up at. 4:30. [ __ ] out of here. First of all, I'm up until at least midnight almost. every night. Me too. I get like most of my best like writing. done and my best ideas when everyone in. the house is asleep. So, when everyone. in my house is asleep and I'm up, I like. that cuz I'm like oh, cool. Everybody's. I don't need Nobody needs my attention.

Now I can concentrate and I get my. I can't concentrate when people are in. the house. I feel like I should be. hanging out and having fun and being. with everybody. I don't want to lock. myself up in my office. But that's the. only way to write. But the for me it's. like late at night is where it's at cuz. everybody's asleep and the world feels. creepy. You know, at night the world feels kind. of dangerous and [ __ ] up and stupid. It's like, you know, you when you worry. about war in the middle of the night, it's like 1:00 in the morning and you're. in front of your computer and you're.

writing something on Microsoft Word, you're genuinely worried about war. Yeah. Genuinely worried that decisions that. people are making in this country are. going to one day come down on us with. holy terror. One day just in the middle. of the city just boom, some [ __ ]. thermonuclear device that levels a place. four times the size of Hiroshima. instantaneously. I think about that kind of [ __ ] late at. night. And you do right, how do you make that.

funny? I don't sometimes. Some of it's not funny, but you there's. funny things attached to it. There's. funny things attached to the just the. way we behave. It's not really there's. nothing funny about the potential for. complete annihilation of the human race. But there is something funny about this. desire that we have to. keep doing the same things we've always. done and hope that somehow or another we. get it right this time.

Yeah. We're on the verge of war all the time. and there's got to be some way to stop. that other than funding more war. There's got to be a better way to stop. that. you said the war the verge of war and um. um. when you when you first started doing. stand-up comedy, how many there's been a. lot of verges of war wars, huh? Yeah, the first war. when I was um. so when was Desert Storm? Was that. There was Desert Storm and Desert. Shield. Which one was which?

We had this conversation the other day. Desert Shield was with Norman. Schwarzkopf. Is that the Iraq and that's like 2003? Yeah. Right. Um the one I'm talking about is. Desert Storm which was like 1990? Was it. 1990, Jamie? That says they're the. I know they're not the exact same, but. it says they're the same. So, They're the same? phases. Oh, yeah, but the first invasion before. we pulled out with George W. Bush in. Iraq?

Iraq invaded Kuwait on August 20th, 1990. Yes, I remember that one. Yes. Okay. So, when Iraq invaded Kuwait in 1990, then we went to war with Iraq, and I was. living with my friend Jimmy, and we were. sitting Jimmy Detillo shout out to. Jimmy. We were sitting in our apartment. in the living room, and the war was on. TV. We were like, "Holy [ __ ] man. We're. at war." I remember thinking, "This. can't even be real.". happened at night, right? We started. watching those the air raids. Yeah, it started as Desert Shield, and.

then then when we started going after. like him was Desert Storm. Yeah. And what year was that? 90 That was just like a year later. It's. 91. So, Desert Shield was to protect, and. Desert Storm was to destroy. dropping off troops. had the best material. about that. Oh my god. His material. about the war was great. If they have. such sophisticated weapons, how do you. know? We got the receipts. We love to arm puppet dictators, and. then [ __ ] them up, you know? It's like, you know?

It's like Clint Eastwood movie. Pick up. the gun. You know, it's like Dirty. Harry. I tell you, I know what you're thinking. A fire far, or tell you truth, I kind of forgot myself. But for what is. what what do you get the unforgiving man. when the guy crying cuz they kill. somebody? He goes, "That what happen when you kill a man. You take away all he's ever wanted and. all he ever had.". Yeah. That movie was the best.

western movie, I think, ever. Like of. that kind of Clint Eastwood genre. That. was almost like he was coming back to. update it. You know, because he had all. the bangers, you know, Good, The Good, and the Ugly, A Fist Full of Dollars, like incredible. Wales. Yeah, oh Outlaw Josey Wales was that was. another level too, but then it's like. Unforgiven was the one where it like. really gave you a sense of what it must. have been like living in the Wild West. It was just the people were more real.

It was like it was more updated to like. the movies of that era, like the Morgan. Freeman character. It was a [ __ ]. great movie, man. It's a great like Western movie and just. a hard story, man. That that line when they when he goes in. there to get those people that killed. Morgan Freeman, you just shot an unarmed. man. Yeah. He should have armed himself. Yeah. If he's going to decorate his place with. a friend of mine. Yeah, that was a hardcore movie, man. That was a hardcore movie. You saw the um the um.

But ain't ain't it funny that we always. want to think about that kind of [ __ ]. happening out west? We don't want to. believe that kind of same [ __ ] was. happening out east. Animals everywhere, animals. Animals. People were animals back then. They were. barely human. Hang 'em high. Can you imagine if we had to do [ __ ]. stand up in 1820? Can you imagine? First of all, you're. getting sick everywhere because there's. no sewage. So, everybody's just got [ __ ]. in the streets. Everywhere you go, you're breathing [ __ ] fumes. You're.

stepping in [ __ ] everywhere. That's what I think about now. When I. watch those movies now, like Gangs of. New York. Yeah. I would I look towards somebody man, [ __ ] stinks. Oh, bro. Out there. People are like ignoring the. [ __ ] stink. There's a rotting body. right there. Bro, it probably was so rank. They. didn't have anywhere to get rid of their. [ __ ]. And then and then they read that the. the um. the little napkin. that they had on those you know the the. big white wig people, they had like a.

little canker shiv. But and they would. just carry it, bro, just to. And they would have perfume on there. They would put it in their nose so they. wouldn't have to smell like the poor. people. Well, it wasn't just that, man. It was. the [ __ ] in the streets cuz they didn't. have cars, so they had horses. The. horses would [ __ ] all over the roads. And nobody had a job picking it up yet. Oh, dude. One job was someone would just put down. like a handkerchief so you could walk. over IT FOR PEOPLE. JUST [ __ ] CLEAN IT UP, YOU LAZY. [ __ ].

And throwing like [ __ ] water out of a a. Look at all this. It's all [ __ ]. Yeah, that's all [ __ ] Imagine breathing. that every day. There's no way that's good for you. You. think scented candles are bad for you? Imagine Imagine the people that lived. back then. You worried about ultra rays. You. worried about ultra rays. Woah. Poop once flowed freely in the streets. of New York. Look, that was a poop pipe. that would go right down the street.

Jesus Christ. Oh man, when I was um at my grandma's. house in Mexico, they they they still. had an outhouse. To you to what they have They didn't. have no plumbing. Bro, isn't it interesting cuz this is a. terrible way to live that people. insisted on doing it this way? I just think the day that they figured. it out, you're like, "Oh my god, what. the. But imagine cuz you had to figure it out. to get it to where it is now, right? So. people had to go through that to get to. the Manhattan of today where it's all. super sophisticated, amazing hotels, amazing restaurants. But why would you. stick around? If you're breathing in [ __ ] every day,

you go live on a farm. I'd be like, "Fuck this experiment. This is terrible. This is not for us. This is for the. benefit of people in the future. We're. destroying. Soil men who carted away of America's. waste. Bro, you know how sick people must have. been back then? No antibiotics. Everybody's breathing in [ __ ] You fall, you slip, you skin your knee, your knee. gets infected with staff, you die. Oh man, I'm thinking about um the um. That's what it says it. the. That's what it says. People were gagging as this cart would. WALK BY.

OH GOD. AND IN THINKING OF GAG, HUH? On a summer day in 1873, a cart stood on. 6th Avenue in New York City filled to. the brink with raw human waste. The cart was uncovered. Its contents. exposed to the air and to the passersby. who retched and gagged as they scurried. away. Excrement dripped off the sides of. the cart and the sidewalks and gutters. were smeared with the stuff. The stench. stench was so strong that it could be.

smelled from more than a block away. It. was another day in pre-sewer America. Bro. Meanwhile, you're reading. the thing, man. This is after the Civil. War. Yeah. This is 1873. And you're in you're in Italy reading. books talking about the streets are made. of gold. Yeah, night soil. They call it night soil. Night soil. Yeah, they would use it for. [ __ ]. I mean, they used it for compost, right?

Oh, so just people would leave. It was a name euphemistically given to. human waste because it was removed from. the privies under the cloak of darkness. so that polite society would be spared. from confronting its own feces as the. men carted the crap away leaving a trail. of stench in their wake. Every year in. cities across the country, thousands of. carts brimming with excrement rattled. through the night streets. There was an. antiquated solution to a modern problem. America's cities were full of crap. So, the people were just throwing the [ __ ]. in the streets. Yes.

Uh how much did those guys get paid? It's not possible. Shitty. They got paid shitty. What a shitty job. Yeah, you better imagine being IN A BAR. BARRELS. UH GET A horse-pulled wagon filled with. [ __ ] That is so crazy. So, living back then was hell, bro. We're so lucky. And that's how they're. going to look at us, these future beings. that no longer have war, they no longer.

have greed or anger. These future beings. that are connected to the hive mind, they're going to look back at us like. Felipe and Joe. live like idiots. This guy's breath stunk, I bet. One of the dumping grounds was a field. near the White House where a marsh of. Washingtonian waste putrefied under the. president's nose. This suggests that. this may have been a contributing factor. to President Harrison's untimely death. in 1841. since the White House water source was a. mere SEVEN BLOCKS DOWNSTREAM.

OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED THE PRESIDENT. WITH [ __ ] water. Oh, man. god. of dysentery. Bro, this is why you can't trust that. the experts are looking out for your. health. They didn't even protect the. president. Somebody concocted this idea. and they never even thought about the. potential for ruining all the water that. people drink. They just said this is a. good place to dump all this. Wow. People are so nasty.

Oh, man. I I have to think about um. That's so nasty. And and condoms back then were probably. still sheep's wool, right? Sheepskin. Sheepskin. Yeah, or sheep intestines. I saw a movie where a woman. a guy a woman with with she was washing. the the contraceptive. Yeah. Right after all these white wig guys. threw it at her face. Wow. So so she's using the same one for every. man. Oh my god. You got to. Oh, Christ. So they didn't have even by 1880s 2/3 of.

flushing toilets still just went into a. backyard cesspool, but. Oh. Read read this part here. Overflowing privy was a sight to behold. in James McCabe's 1882 account of New. York street life. He described one man's. yard in which the privy's contents. drained down into a street sewer forming. a miniature loathsome Niagara of. nightsoil. Niagara. The cascading sewage flowed right by the. window so that a young so that a man. sitting on a chair at the window would.

not have to only would not have only the. odor but also the views of this. loathsome matter circulating at his feet. in the pool below. Yeah, see this is why everybody was so. sick. This is. By the start of the plague. Well, also like there's no [ __ ]. No one's clean. Cholera outbreak 1849. Yeah, I would say that is the biggest. breakthrough ever in the.

controlling of diseases. The biggest breakthrough is sanitation. You know I was thinking about too. Healthy sanitation. The using these words dumping grounds in. this time period too this is the same. time those bones were dumped in these. river with who knows what. Yeah, there's not enough vaccines in the. world to protect you when you're living. like that. You know? Imagine what the pharmaceutical drug. companies would try to sell to you if. you were living like that. And they figured out how to counteract. all the different things that you're. inhaling in the air from human [ __ ] and. the. That is so nasty, man.

So nasty. Killed the president, bro. Well, imagine him getting up in the. morning waking up in the morning. Good morning, everybody. I'm glad you just said that about. dumping bodies cuz I this is a thing I. need to send you, Jamie. I'm so glad you. brought that up cuz I I read this. I. don't want to [ __ ] this up. I want to. figure out what the [ __ ] this actually. means. Um. Here, I'm going to send this to you, Jamie. It's about. liquid human remains.

Liquid human remains? Yeah. So, what this article is saying, whoa, it's like an Instagram thing. We talked about this before. Uh then being fed back to the population. via fertilizer on crops. That? Not that part. So, they're making pozole with people? I hope it's not true. Making menudo with people or what? I don't know. It sounds like they were. using it for fertilizer. Using people. for fertilizer and using people for. supplements somehow or another. Like, how they're saying you're boiling down a.

human body. the family? I don't know, but also there's there's. no DNA. So, what did you need the body. for? Like, I don't understand what The. whole body is DNA. Like, what are you. saying? There's no DNA. So, what did you. You broke it down to chemicals, so now. it's okay? So, you broke the human body, the the container of a soul, down to. chemicals and you're going to pour it on. your flowers and that's okay? That seems weird. No, it sounds made up. It seems weird. Like, what do you How. the [ __ ] We should find out how the [ __ ]. they do it. Is there a video we can.

watch on them doing it? They can look at. And how do they liquefy them with hot. water? It said hot water and then it's and. something else. They added some other. stuff, too. But, whatever, man. What do we What the. [ __ ] Is this it? Five years ago. Oh my god, the most eco. Let's Let's listen to this. Wow. Can we No. Okay. Do they put them in there alive or. No, Felipe. These are dead bodies. They're just cooking them. Cooking them up nice. And that's what. they get? Like, little bones and pieces?

Well, I want to be cremated, but if. that's an option. You were just talking about it. Yeah, but you don't want your body being. resold as fertilizer. It's just weird to. pour dead people on top of your [ __ ]. carrots so they grow better. Sprinkle me. What are they breaking it What are they. breaking it down to? What are they. breaking the human body down to that's. valuable for them to do that? Like, what is the stuff they're looking. for? Let's find that out.

First of all, we don't even know if it's. true. Yeah, no. I don't I wouldn't take that. as truth. I wouldn't even believe that. How would they How would this person. Can you Google and see if there's other. stories that say that. Let me I'm going to Google it. Okay, I'm not pushing you. I got to I got to read. I got to read. Oh, I understand. Um whatever it is, it. seems like you're supposed to leave. people alone when they're dead. Okay, we're supposed to be different than. everything else on the planet. We love. each other more than we love anything. else. You can use monkeys for. experiments, but. Some states allow the remaining liquid. with its peptides, sugars, amino acids, and captured carbon to be reclaimed and.

repurposed as fertilizer. Yo. Yo. They're turning Do they have to tell you. like how they have to tell you if you're. going to buy a haunted house? Do they. have to You know, if there's a house. where someone killed his whole family in. it? You know, you They They have to tell. you that. You see that oak tree? That's um Joey Diaz, by the way. What? No, they Look at look at They're making. them to a soil, right? So. Oh, right. Right. Right. that oak tree right there?

We used Joey Diaz. With Joey Diaz particles, that's. Redban's cactus. Do you think they have to tell you, though? That you're buying dead people. fertilizer, or they just consider it. chemicals at that point? How do they get away with selling you. dead people? Cuz it seems like if you. had the option, "Hey, do you want like. manure or dead people?". WHOA. PATENTED IN 1888. HM. They've been boiling people and turning. them into fertilizer since the 1800s? That's the So, we have that machine, but.

not no [ __ ] sewage. Wow. Trying to find out. where they say that they've used it for. other. that they use it for calcium. deficiencies. Because that means you're. feeding people other people's bones, so. they can get a source of calcium. But that guy is vegan, so don't give it. to him. Maybe it's okay cuz the person. consented. Yeah, I'm trying to Yeah, it's true.

Cremation solution over Seems like a. solid place. Huh. So, body plus 95% water, 5% alkaline. basic chemicals, either potassium. hydroxide or sodium hydroxide or a. combo, uh sterile effluent water, salts, sugars, amino acids, peptides. Bone fragments, calcium phosphate. So, that's what they get out of it. So, they. boil it down in this solution and they. get out all these different things, water, salt, sugar, amino acids,

peptides, and then calcium phosphate. And then, I guess what do they do with. the calcium? So, if you're buying. calcium and you find out it's from dead. people, What about the dead. let you know. You probably should have. to let people know that. I drink dead people. You would sell a lot if you made it from. dead people for sure. Like if you had a. skull and crossbones on the bottle, there's a lot of [ __ ] who'd buy. that. But then, people thought. looking at that like they'd look at. chicken, how how were they raised?

What kind of parent did he have? Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah, if you're really into. anxiety problems. Is it Are you really into eating. someone? What if they were a fucked-up. person and you take a little bit of. their soul inside of you and you go. insane? Bro, it'd be crazy, man. Well, that's got to be what's happening. with the the cannibals when they get. that disease and they all get that they. get shaky. The prion disease that they get from. eating each other. Did Did Jeffrey Dahmer have that? I don't think so. No. I think you have to eat spinal tissue.

You have to eat brain and spinal tissue. And it's a they're called prions. The. thing about prions is you can't even. boil them. Like you if you cook them at. like. 1,000 degrees, I think, for like hours, it doesn't kill them. If we If you were made If you were ever. get to a invite to a restaurant and they. tell you you're we just served you a. human being, would you eat it? No. Why would I eat a person? What if they tell you after, man, you. just ate a. Well, I'd be really mad. decomposed.

acraline body that we made into chicken. Yeah, I wouldn't like that. Would you. like that, Felipe? Hell no. Yeah, it would be weird. Needs more salt, please. Remember that movie Soylent Green? Do. you remember that movie? No. It's a old old-timey science fiction. movie. But. people were being fed Soylent Green and. then this guy figures out that Soylent. Green is made out of people. And they're they're serving people like. this [ __ ] protein biscuit that's made. out of humans. Oh, that sucks. Yeah, but there's people that would do.

that. one the old movie, right? There's people that would do that. Do they end with a woman boiling a foot? Oh, I don't remember that. Maybe. I. don't remember. It was a long time ago. I just remember the premise of the. movie. I probably haven't seen that. movie in 20 plus years. one where a guy a movie was called um. Microwave Massacre. Microwave Massacre? guy murdered his wife. In a microwave? And no, he he cuts her pieces and. microwaves the body and makes lunches. and he takes them to to work every day. and every.

Is this a real guy? Real movie. Wait a minute, a real movie or a real. person? movie called Microwave Massacre, but it. was probably based on a real guy. And he would take um food that he made. at from people he murdered and they. would eat it at work and then when they. they finally caught him, everybody at. work was throwing up. I think there was a woman who got caught. eating her husband and serving him to. the neighbors. Wow. How much you have to hate that. dude? To serve him to your How much you hate. your neighbors? So I'm going to watch. these [ __ ].

as eat my husband. I'm going to cook it. up nice. Cook up that ass cheek. Turn it into a. nice little. my husband. You're going to love this dish. This is. his favorite. Jesus Christ. I'm going to consommé for him, too. A consommé. A nice bone broth. Good for. the soul. Yeah, so that's where that [ __ ] comes. from, prions. It's a They're scary. They're They're. That's mad cow disease. That's what um. um.

cannibals get. It's a very sketchy. disease. And there's another one right. now that deers have. It's called chronic. wasting disease. Same Same kind of deal. It's a prion disease. And uh deers are. getting it and they froth at the mouth. and drool and they they they their body. shrivels up. Very creepy, man. You can't eat those? No. You can cuz there's no crossover to. people, but I wouldn't suggest it. I. wouldn't recommend it. I mean I would I. wouldn't The thing is you can test and. you could find out if your deer's okay.

Like the you can shoot them and then. test them and then you know you're good. to go and you can eat the deer. But if. it's it tests positive, it hasn't jumped. from animal to people. It's only an. animal. But the what it does to animals. is so grave. Why would you take that. chance? This is how I feel. Like why. would you take a chance of consuming an. animal that literally has the plague. inside of it? Because for deer, that's the plague. These deer they're I mean they're. they're not even See, the thing Like it. with people, a disease like that would. spread like wildfire, right? With deer,

they're out in these big giant open. areas and yet still it's spreading from. their saliva onto leaves and then other. deer pick it up. Hm. Yeah. It's um it's super [ __ ] contagious. and it kills the [ __ ] out of them. And. if that jumps to people, that's a real. problem. That's a real [ __ ] problem. cuz I don't know if they have uh. medication that combats it in deer. I. don't know what research they've done in. trying to figure it out, but I know it's. it's such a problem that there's a lot.

of places where they're killing extra. deer just to try to keep the populations. lower so they don't interact with each. other as much and so they don't catch it. from giving it back and forth to each. other as much. And people have this right now? No humans have yet. But I think chronic. wasting disease has been it it used to. be one type of deer. I'm not sure what. what deer it started out with. It might. have been mule deer, but it's in a lot of white-tail deer in. America and apparently it's made its way. into other ungulates. Like uh I think.

it's in elk. I think they might have. even found it in moose. It's scary [ __ ] man, cuz it's basically. a a zombie virus. It turns you into a. [ __ ] skeleton and you waste away. Yeah, it's horrific. And it's um. probably some of it came from farms. Cuz they think that that's one of the. ways that it's spread. Like there's a. lot of deer farms that do a great job. They're very ethical. So, if you wanted. a property and you wanted your own. private hunting property and you wanted.

to uh put a high fence up, take care of. the ground, put food plots in there for. the animals. This is how you you know, you got a thousand acres, you want to. fence it all in. Like you could do that. in Texas and you can buy deer. So, you. can say, "Okay, I want to buy, you know, like uh 20 white-tail deer and let them. loose on my property." You know, you got. this thousand-acre spot or wherever. you're at. Um. if you get a deer that is from a farm. that's unethical, they're all going to. be stacked next to each other just like. pigs when you watch [ __ ] factory. farming for pigs. They're going to be.

corralled and shitty Most of them don't. do this, but you you're always going to. have people that are unethical. And when. people do things where diseases start. getting spread and they kind of cover it. up or lie about it cuz they don't want. to lose money, and then they're sending. deer around. So, like there's a lot of. regulations now on how you can move deer. across state lines because of this. disease. If you have bad deer meat, can you cover it up with a bunch of good. deer meat where that bad meat. disappears?

What do you mean? So, say like cuz I cuz I remember myself. cooking and I had like um I spilled like. a shitload of garlic on my oatmeal and I. was making an oatmeal for. 15 [ __ ] in rehab. So, I just. started putting more oatmeal, more. oatmeal, and more milk. to hide the garlic smell. But in the. end, everybody was farting anyway, so. they still got it. But do people do. That's what you're saying, that people. do that with deer meat? That way they. cover it up? that. Yeah, you could make sausage. who are not unethical, they hide it.

No, no, no. See, what we're talking. about chronic wasting disease is it's. That's different. All right, it probably. wouldn't even affect the taste of the. animal. They'd probably be very lean cuz. there's not much left of them. Or they. could have just gotten it and they could. look be healthy-looking and they still. have this disease. They still test. positive for it. My fear would be about. what that disease is going to do if it. jumps to human beings. And if you're. consuming it, are we sure that it just. goes out of your system? Or is it just a. nerd? If it doesn't work in your system,

could it work eventually? Is it. something that has an incubation period. that maybe maybe not now, maybe it will. have one in 5 years from now or 10 years. from now. Maybe the version of chronic. wasting disease, if it evolves and. changes, it's going to be making the. jump to humans. That's a scary [ __ ]. disease to make the jump to humans. You know, there's a bunch of those out. there that you got. flu. Yeah, man. And then there is the ones that we make. Gonorrhea? No, like COVID. They [ __ ] made that. [ __ ] in a lab. They made it in a lab. It.

spread across the whole world. Do you think they made AIDS in a lab? Well, you just say like AIDS? Like AIDS or something. I read I read. that somewhere. Somebody said, "Oh, they. make all that [ __ ] in labs.". Well, Cuz wasn't it like part of like um. chemical warfare, right? Um. That is a part of chemical warfare, yeah. Like putting um disease blankets on. natives, you know, and. Well, they've done a bunch of [ __ ]. studies. Like that's the the big. No, I'm sorry. The the natives had. influenza blankets. That's what they.

had. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. That was um. smallpox. Smallpox. But I don't know if that's even true. because I don't think they really knew. what uh like how diseases were spread. back then. I don't think they knew that. you could just like put scabs on a. blanket and give people smallpox. And if. you had smallpox, are you trying to dish. out smallpox? Are you trying to catch. it? So you're you're handling it, then. putting it in blankets. It seems like an exaggerated cruelty of. what happened. And what happened was. Europeans came over here, the Native.

Americans had you know what whatever you. want to call them, the indigenous. people. They did not have any uh. immunity to smallpox and it wiped out. 90% of them. Diseases from North Americans or from uh. Europeans rather coming to North. America, they wiped out everybody with. disease. It's somewhere in the. neighborhood of 90% of the people that. were here are gone because of disease. So, you know, when people want to think. that. there's. there's no way to prepare like a uh.

a group of human beings that has no. immunity. in, you know, 1492. There's no way to. There's no way to prepare. There's no. way to prepare anybody. You're You're. coming in with these stinky European. streets filled with [ __ ] water, right? Everybody's got some funky parasite, funky disease. They probably [ __ ]. stink. They're probably infested with. smell that blowing them all the way. They probably have viruses fighting. viruses inside their body, coughing.

phlegm and blood and they're drinking. whiskey and they come over to. They're probably having sex with each. other. [ __ ] yeah. And it's probably none of. it's consensual. It's probably animals. biting each other and holding each other. down, [ __ ] each other. And then they. come to North America and they start. slaughtering people and. there's this one. uh we've talked about this before. He. was like a bishop or some religious man. who chronicled one of Christo-. Christopher Columbus's early. interactions. Yes.

with these people and it's horrific. [ __ ] man. Cutting people's arms off if. they don't bring back their weight in. gold and it's dashing babies on rocks in. front of their parents. Horrific [ __ ]. man. And those are the kind of people that. brought those diseases. Like you want to. talk about that's like a real demon. horde. Crazy, huh? Crazy. A real demon horde of people come. over on a boat stinking, covered in. their own [ __ ] breathing diseases on. everybody.

Everybody's dying like well he's so. unhealthy. I know, man. Like. I'm thinking about um. that um that pirate um. I don't know one of the pirates. Blackbeard? Blackbeard, man. He was full of. gonorrhea. Oh, bad. And he would drop. he would drop. mercury on his penis. to to relieve to. for to cure his diseases on his penis. cuz that's that's all they had. Well, that's a good move. Who invented. that? What [ __ ] was like try mercury.

He probably was on a pirate ship. somewhere met a voodoo doctor and. steady, man. mercury. put it in your dick. Did mercury kill. his dick? Yeah. When he held. such as. the governor's son during the week-long. Charlestown blockade in 1718, he asked. for expensive medical supplies. This. included liquid mercury which when. injected through a urethral syringe. Yes. was a common ineffective treatment for. syphilis.

Injected through your pee hole with a. [ __ ] syringe. Yo. Blackbeard Blackbeard had up to 14 wives. in different ports. Wow. Damn. Well, somebody's doing a movie about. that guy. And imagine, man, he had the money to. put mercury in his dick. The rest of the. crew probably didn't. So they're all. they're [ __ ] everything, man. [ __ ]. [ __ ] up. There's this temple in China that they. are afraid to go into. They discovered.

it and this emperor when he died, was. such a great emperor that he had this. whole field of terracotta statues. that were were built that look like. warriors that are guarding him. They're. just It's crazy discovered that they. had. They're giant, right? But the ground all around where this. temple is is test for high levels of. mercury. And the the ancient story is that. anybody who ever dared open up this. temple open up this tomb, rather,

where this emperor's buried, will drown. Oh. in mercury. I thought you were going to say they got. got gonorrhea. No. Can you imagine drowning in mercury? Imagine like 2,000 years ago, a dude. sets up a booby trap for greedy people. and sets it up where he fills the entire. tomb up with mercury. First of all, is that even possible? How much mercury would you have to. handle, and how many people would have. to die from that mercury? Cuz imagine Where First of all, where. did you get it? did they even get it? Yeah. Where did they get mercury in.

2,000 plus years ago? Do you know that. story about that emperor and his temple? Teotihuacan is where it says it is. No. Teotihuacan is Aztec. I know, but it says. Well, this is liquid mercury found on. top of the temple. Yeah, that's probably a common booby. trap, I bet. But this one where this. temple in China. of Google, it says "Temple drowned in. mercury" refers to the Temple of. Teotihuacan. Temple of the first. Can you say "temple booby trapped with. mercury in China"?

I think it's like the first emperor of. China. It says it too. I mean, it says it could. have been a thing that they did. on Earth. It says it was in China. Yeah, this is the one. So, there's one that they're they they. have not entered into. And I think this. is the one with the terracotta statues. in front of it. There's one of I think. this is a common thing when great people. die, they probably made a terracotta. army for them. When they find these. things, it's like. you. Here it is.

It's us talking about it. Crazy story of. first emperor of China's tomb. That's me and Schulz talking about it, right? Click on that. No. Man, it's not our video. So, I'll remember. It's not our video. It's my [ __ ] video, [ __ ]. else's video. Somebody else uploaded, I. should. Well, that's ridiculous, but it's ours, right? Yeah, it's funny when. So, what do you What do you say to. Jamie? Like, they would have a copyright. on my voice? I don't know. I don't want to get into. it. But yeah, we probably have the the. revenue is probably coming to our thing. cuz we have people claiming it, but it's. up I'm just saying.

That's why I'm bringing that up cuz I. don't. A lot of the clips that I watched are. from other people sharing them. I was just saying it's it's not ours, so. I don't know if they made it or not. Okay. Okay, don't put it up then. Yeah. But anyway, the point is this There's. this tomb in China that's supposedly. booby trapped with tons of liquid. mercury. I'm sure Jamie will find it. But it's uh this area around it. apparently tests high for mercury. So, they think that it might be a true story. and they don't want to go in there. They. don't want to [ __ ] open up the door. and die. Which is wild that this dude.

set this up, if he did, 2,000 plus years. ago. I don't even remember how many thousands. of years ago it was, but it was. insanely impressive. Wow, this guy did. amazing to to to think of something like. that and still works. Yeah, like where the [ __ ] Where do you. think While Jamie's looking this up, where the [ __ ] do you think they get. mercury and how much can they get? How. much can they have back then? I've only seen it in a thermometer. I know. Like, where are they getting it? Throughout antiquity, remember we've. talked about cinnabar before? Cinnabar? It's from San Jose. It's like where it's.

where they got red stuff, also. Uh. cinnabar in antiquity was the source of. all mercury. So, how did they do it? Little pool of it? How did they do it? Does it say how they did it? It says to extract, you need to roast it. in air, converting the sulfur to sulfur. dioxide, while the mercury is released. as vapor. It can be then condensed. The. mercury boils at 357 Celsius. this. process needs temperatures well within. They need some kilns. They had those. Wow. So, they just cooked up mercury. It is hard to do, but they did it.

Wow. Well, if they can make a temple. like this guy had, they can cook up. mercury and fill that temple. That is. crazy to think of. That that I wish. maybe there's going to be a way with new. technology where they can like pierce. into the ground where they can see into. things without having to like actually. go in there physically. Cuz I know. they're doing like the lidar stuff. I. know they can kind of detect where they. used to be agriculture places. someone digging into is this claim real? And this says that even if.

uh. So, even though mercury either as. cinnabar or as the elemental metal has. been found in tombs dating as far back. as the second millennium BC, it's not. clear why it was put there. Might its toxicity have acted as a. deterrent to grave looters? Probably. not. The dangers of mercury fumes were. not recognized until Han times. If so, it seems there's a lot of mercury in the. burial chamber, it's likely to be either. a preservative or an anti-theft device.

So, the the the big theory is that it's. an anti-theft device and that's why. people are terrified of going in there. Here, hold it right here. Based on. estimates of mercury production from the. Song era and allowing for the. imperfections of the early refinement. process, he thinks the chamber might. have contained at most 100 tons. of the liquid metal. HOLY [ __ ]. 100 TONS.

HOW did Blackbeard find this [ __ ]. Woo. Well, Oh, that wasn't Blackbeard. That was. China. Here's a. How do you find mercury back then? It's a anti-theft device. Shiver me timbers. had a bi- Oh, they have like a Look at. that. That was the device they stuck on. their dick? Mhm. Oh my god. saying, right? Shiver me timbers? Mhm. That would be your surprise or shock? they're saying that just for funsies. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, they found this in a wreck. Oh my god. This guy had a mercury.

Mer- syringe in a wreck. my pee-pee. And look, it's all rough looking and. it's not even polished good. Man, he probably drew it on the map. Don't go over there, man. If you're. going to go to this island, take lots of. mercury. Meanwhile, they all died from that, right? Syphilis. A pump cluster, which would have been to. use pump fluid into the rectum, allowing. the body to quick- quickly absorb it. They were taken. Like enemas? They're boofing. They're boofing. So, they were doing that for drugs?

I don't Pump liquid into the rectum. Yeah. Yeah, liquid into the rectum. Well, aren't people doing that with like. moonshine? Don't they pour moonshine in. their [ __ ]. This is what I heard. coffee down. I heard uh people take uh tampons filled. with vodka. Yeah. and stuff them in their [ __ ]. I mean, they've been doing it. since the days of the pirates. That's. not new. Here you got this little device. the [ __ ] is wrong with people? severe dehydration by pumping fluid in. the ass. It's what people. People like putting stuff in their butt.

a bloodletting instrument called a. porringer. I had a buddy of mine and he did his. medical residency in Miami in the 1980s. during the cocaine times. And he said, "Dude, he That's where he did his. residency show he was in the emergency. room." So, it's like every day someone's. coming in with something stuffed up. their ass. They're coke diet or mine, they got GI Joes stuffed up their ass, they got They found people with light. bulbs, those like twisty pine cone. looking light bulbs stuck up their ass. Bro, all kinds of things stuck up their. ass. I did a show at Lompoc State.

Penitentiary and one of the guards told. me that. some guy made a vibrator out of. SEVEN HAM BALLS. YOU KNOW, THE ONE THE WOOD AND HE PUT. and he taped them all up. And then um. what happened How do you guys know? Well, he didn't tie them up too good and they. were all stuck in there. I had to take. them all out. Oh, no. He didn't tie them up good? Yeah, cuz he didn't put enough wrapping, I guess. So, they had to go in his butt and get.

all those balls? Yeah. How many were in there? Like five. Whatever Whatever um how many. balls make this. And you thought he was hiding a knife. That's a hard way to go, too, cuz. sometimes people die that way. You get, you know, toxic shock, something goes wrong, you tear your. rectum, you bleed out internally. Stuffing things up your ass. Like the. Mr. Hands story. You know the Mr. Hands story, right? No. There's a whole movie based on it called.

Zoo. Zoo is uh. it's a thing called zoophilia, where. people are sexually attracted to farm. animals. And so, these people met up. online, and uh they found out that. you're still allowed to [ __ ] animals in. Washington state. So, they all went to. Washington state. This is a movie? state, right? Yeah. Is it a movie? on a true story. All right. And uh this dude got [ __ ] to death by. a horse. They had to bring him to the. emergency room. They're like, "What's. going on?" And they, you know, everyone's acting a little shifty, and. then they have to tell the whole story. Then they find out these people have. like hundreds of hours of people getting.

[ __ ] by donkeys and horses and [ __ ]. And they all did this out on this uh. this weird ranch. Wow. Yeah. You know, one of the. That's how the dude died. One of the first books, you know, they. used to be a lot of sex books when we. were kids. Mhm. And they were all They were all nasty. books about sex. Yeah. The first one I ever read was about. people having sex with animals. Oh, yeah. But they were like Remember the. Penthouse stories or Playboy stories? Mhm. But these were all with animals. And I. remember the woman.

telling this whole story about having. sex with a horse. Jesus Christ. And like just. riding that fool. You never see the Mr. Hands video. There's a video, one video that got. leaked online way back in the day. Brian. Redban sent it to me. And it's this dude. getting railed by the horse. And it's. not even the one where he dies, apparently. He dies in another video. But in this video, you see the size of. the horse's dick, and you see his body, and you see his ass, and you're like, there's no way. How many people are helping them cuz.

it's something you can't do? guy grabbed it and just pointed it in. the right direction. And the horse was one gigantic thrust of. death. And the guy makes this horrible. sound, and then his friend goes, "Too. much?". And then his friend is like, "Oh, he. came. He came. The horse came." And. you're like, "This is the sickest. [ __ ] thing I've ever seen in my. life." And that's how that guy died. That guy in that video that's getting. [ __ ] by that horse was the guy who. eventually dies from it. Did they put the horse to sleep. afterwards? I don't think so. It's not the horse's.

fault. What the [ __ ] did the horse do? But the horse is going to, you know, I. wouldn't bend over in front of him. You. know, he's kind of, right? He's kind of. conditioned now. It's not his fault. kind of says they only found out about. all this because he died. Yes. Like. Yeah, that's what I said. Oh, yeah, but it's like, this is what. Yeah. Well, that was first time when they. tried with ponies first. No, he'd been [ __ ] by a bunch of. horses, or a bunch of times by the same. horse. But there was like apparently. many hours of this guy getting [ __ ] by. horses. That's like that 100 VHS tapes and DVDs. It's real, right? Not like a urban. legend like when people say, "I went to.

TJ and saw a donkey show.". You want to see it? No. You going to show it? Yeah. This is still my old computer, I guess. Oh. Do you have it? You can still get it, right? I don't know where to look. I'll look. I bet you could get it. I bet if you put. it on up on X. X is one of the few. places where Actually, it's actually. illegal. So, maybe you can't have it on. X. Hold on. Because bestiality It It wasn't illegal. when they were doing it, though. Yeah. There's a point, kind of. No, that's what's called That's called. bestiality when you have sex with a with.

an animal, okay? It's called you're [ __ ] gross. And what's the one we have sex with a. bodies? Uh that is. necrophilia, right? Don't look on X for that. Yeah, you can't find an X. It's a different search result that pops. up. Oh, yeah, they probably game the search. results now, right? Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of. 21 and older material. People have sex with. animals, right? Like since Do you want. to talk about Gangs of New York how ugly. it was? Right. They would play with animals.

Everything that was in front of them. You found it? Okay, here it is. Headphones, please. Oh. Yeah, there it is, baby. Let me you verify that that's it. Oh, that's 100% it. Okay. Absolutely. Go full screen. And don't show it on screen at all. Mute the sound when we play this? Nope. Nope, let's hear it. Okay, Dana Cruise. Do do do. It's on a porn site, I guess. Here we go. Here's the sound.

That's reverse him? So, that's the guy's butt. The horse. gets on top of him. And then the guy grabs it. Look at this. Watch this. Look at the distance. Look. at the amount of tissue we're talking. about here. Watch this. Like Long Dong Silver.

Okay. This is on a loop. This is repeating. It's repeating, yeah. is It's already. The whole thing really only lasts a. couple of seconds. Wow. The guy died. The guy have no ass. is fascinating cuz the movie is like a. documentary sort of recreation of those. people. It's not like that. You don't. see things, but you just see how [ __ ]. bananas the whole story. The horse. is known for that or do you think it was. a.

random horse? Cuz he he had to know what he was doing, bro. he probably been [ __ ] that guy for a. long time. They probably been doing I That's what. I'm saying. Like it killed him one day, but I think he had done it a bunch of. times. right? Cuz. No, no, no. We We had enough. Peter will come after us. We've had enough. No, who knows what it was really. showing? Yeah, we were just making noises. It was. That is. um. Mr. What the My name is Mr. Ed. There's people out there that are out of. their [ __ ] minds. They're out of their [ __ ] mind.

You're getting [ __ ] to death by a. horse. in a grainy video. You know? Like what is What is life for. you? That must be crazy. And that's your thing. You're getting. off work at 5:00. And I think the guy. who died was an intelligent guy. Was he. Wasn't he an engineer? at Boeing for over 8 years, yeah. Bro, he was a Boeing engineer who liked. to get [ __ ] to death by a horse. That. horse's dick is as long as an arm. Look. at how long that dick is.

Oh, like Long Dong Silver. size of that thing? like 17 and 1/2 inches. It was gigantic. It's probably bigger. than that. When it goes into his body, you're just like, "Where's the Where's. the room? Where's the space? How?". How do you warm warm warm warm up to it? I guess you start with fingers. So, he lost the ability to experience. to ketchup bottles. the ability to experience certain. sensations after a motorcycle accident. Oh, so that was the only way he could. feel things? Oh, god. That's terrifying.

That's terrifying. know why he started filming it though. It didn't say. Well, you know what? That also kind of. makes sense, right? Because we've talked. about this many times about brain. injuries. About people with brain injuries, they. get very impulsive and they do reckless. things. That totally makes sense if this. guy had a motorcycle accident that. [ __ ] up the way he feels things. He. probably got wrecked. That's crazy, man. So he got wrecked. He probably got a. brain injury and it probably turned him. into a wild man. I twisted my ankle, man. Now.

I want a moose to [ __ ] me in the ass. Do you want to get [ __ ] to death by a. wild animal? I'll be the first guy to get butt-fucked. by a bear. Yeah, but did you you break your brain. in that way? Like for some people, they're just different now. Yeah, man. Now they're different. I've seen it happen to a bunch of dudes. when they've been knocked out. Been knocked out really bad. But that kid will get like. kid knocked out of the [ __ ] out and you. wake up and goes.

is there a horse nearby cuz I'm really. horny right now. Well, who knows what's going on with the. chemistry of your brain. You just want. experience. You want excitement. You want to see if you could suck a. horse's [ __ ]. But that goes back to your old old joke, man. The old joke you say, "Hey, you take a break today.". Yeah, take a day off. You know what I'm saying? You had that. joke about uh about the Playboy Mansion. and and you said that what's his name. well whatever he would have. every once in a while a gay will pop in.

And then he goes and then the punchline. was, "Nah, man. You take a break.". Yeah. Don't start [ __ ] guys. Yeah, you take a break. Yeah, relax. You get a little crazy. Yeah, you can't. you can't you [ __ ] take six a day. You don't have for a guy. You take a. break. I think for some people with brain. injuries though, they they get addicted. to skydiving, they get addicted to. gambling, they get addicted to like. reckless behavior. me a juicy within a head injury, right? A bad one. I wonder what he's up to. He looks like he's been in an accident. He he fell on a motorcycle and hit his.

head on the curb with no helmet on. Yeah, it was a bad one. So California. didn't used to have a helmet law. back then. It's because of him now. Well, I don't know if it's because of. him. He started yeah, I did read that. He. started a big push. Yeah. To help that. Um so he helped it, but I know that pe-. people wanted help. This, you know, I'm torn on that [ __ ] It's like, yeah, you should have helmet laws because. there's 18-year-old boys out there that. can have motorcycles, and that's [ __ ]. crazy. That's crazy. To give I am so. glad that when I was 18, I never got a.

[ __ ] motorcycle. W- Once you fall off a motorcycle like. um at. 70 mph the helmet is like nothing, right? You don't have like nothing. Depends on how you fall. How you fall, right? Yeah, you might slide. If you slide, you. probably just get your skin ripped from. your body. Did you survive? Yeah, well, I just woke. up to a fetish. I said. Yeah, but that's the thing, man. If you. get really banged, you could have some. screwy brain waves after that. You know, and you could think everyone's. out to get you. You could like people. get real weird. They get real weird. And. then they they feel like extra.

vulnerable cuz they. you know, their brain's not working the. same anymore. So, they don't know who. they are anymore. They don't feel like. they used to feel. Yeah. They start to feel crazy. You know, and they start to think that. no one wants to help them. They start. getting really angry and really. negative. And then you get [ __ ] up by a horse. It's just. I'll pass. all the things that you could be doing, that that's that's how you chose to go. out. All these things that you could be. doing, you know? You could be seeing the world.

He said, "Nah, man. I want to see. Seabiscuit.". You could be a food blogger. Nah. Ponies. You could be uh a fashion influencer. Nope. Nah, I want to be Willie Shoemaker. I want to get taken out by a horse. The black stallion. In some dirty barn somewhere. That's where you breathe your last. breath. In a dirty barn with horse jizz in your. [ __ ]. What did his friend do? I don't know. They They freaked out. They brought him to the hospital. They. tried to drop him off. Then the. the cops start questioning him, I.

believe. I'm paraphrasing for sure. Uh. but I think that's how they got busted. They brought off the guy and he's got a. giant hole in his [ __ ] He's pale. like a sheet. They're like, "What happened? of the same phase. What Why is he Why is the inside of his. body missing? Why does he have a [ __ ]. telephone pole? could we see his shoes through his. mouth? What is going on with this dude? What. did you do? What did you do? That story about Jimi Hendrix still.

freaks me out. I think about. been thinking about it the entire time. we've been talking. I go back to the. idea of them just pouring pills down the. greatest guitarist of all times mouth. and then just pouring jugs of wine down, holding him down and that's how he dies. [ __ ] that's scary. His manager. Mother. Who was his? [ __ ] that's scary. US manager said this story is not true, just for. I would say that, too. Yeah. I would say that, too. I mean, I don't. know if it's true. Who [ __ ] knows?

But the the idea And he did he But he. definitely did die. He definitely did. die by asphyxiation. Some people say also like that the CIA. did it. Jimi Hendrix? I don't know. I haven't heard that one. But if anything happens, people always. think the CIA was involved somehow. Anything. No matter what it is, right? Yeah. Pretty much. They always say that. Yeah, I don't trust nothing. Secret agent, man. Yeah, it's either them or it's China or. it's Russia. Who's really sending me. this text telling me that I'm qualified. for the $4,000 savings.

Who's You know those texts you get? Like, who's sending those? Who's six? You know those texts you get? Like, random texts. Hey, congratulations. You. received approval for your loan. Oh, I don't get those. You don't get those? I get them from for. a dude named Ray. So, Ray had my [ __ ]. phone number before I even knew him. And [ __ ] Ray. Ray must have signed up. to every goddamn list. Ray must have put. in that number every chance he could. I. keep getting these [ __ ] text messages. from Ray. And it's all like loans and.

you qualify for this and you're this is. available. We're looking for someone to. hire. There's always some weird scams. You qualify for aluminum sidings. I. don't understand how they can't stop. that from happening. It seems weird that you get so many of. them. You get so many of these scam things, where they get a hold of your your phone. number and just spam you lies. I think they think you get to a certain. age, 50, and they think you're gullible. to these tricks now. Well, I think young people are gullible, too. Yeah. They say they say to 22-year-olds,

"Hey, man, you want to. picture low your home?". Yeah, or do you have a home? If you're dumb, if you're dumb and. you're 22 and you get something that you. qualify for 4,000, "Oh, [ __ ] they think. this is me." And they say, "Yes. Yeah, yeah, I'll I'll take that money." And. then, you know, whatever the [ __ ] they. do. I don't know what they do. There was a guy in LA that was calling. women at their jobs and telling them. they had won something, and he convinced. them to cut their heels off their shoes.

And he would film it? No, he was just calling them up. randomly. "Hey, you just won blah blah. blah blah blah. All you got to do is cut. your heels off your shoes right now.". And women would do it there, and he. called a bunch of chicks, and they all. just [ __ ] up their shoes for nothing. Oh, what an [ __ ]. It's funny, but it's also. with me, no I wouldn't. But it was. somebody. thing to do to a lady. Especially if. it's your favorite shoes, and you only. have one pair. Not my red bottoms. Bro, shoes are hard to get. Those. [ __ ] are expensive, right? Yeah. See, why are we so lucky we don't have.

to wear shoes that hurt? Girls wear shoes that hurt. They They. can only wear them for so long. Like, I can't imagine. I don't even like wearing any things. other than sneakers. Yeah. Or like a comfortable boot. Like, you. know, I got a pair of couple pairs of. these Origin boots. They're real. comfortable, easy to walk around in, like nice smooth leather. I never had boots. Boots are great. But the point is. I don't have any cowboy boots. I've had. Doc Martens, but not cowboy boots. The point is they don't hurt to wear.

But ladies are always wearing shoes that. hurt. What crazy choice. 5-in heels, stilettos. That's probably why they have better. pain tolerance, too. They have to give. birth, and they wear shoes that hurt all. the time. So, they have to deal with. pain. We're so lucky we don't have any of that. stupid [ __ ]. Imagine if we had to wear makeup every. day. Imagine what it would be like. Like, Felipe, what have you done to your eyes? I don't know, man. I put mercury on. them. Isn't that interesting?

Like, women. all I mean, most, a lot, let's say a lot. of women wear makeup every day, or wake. up makeup regularly, on a regular basis. they wear makeup. It's not a very rare. occasion thing. Most. I don't know what the number is. Want to. find out? Let's Let's Google it. Cuz. that's probably a lot of that stuff's. probably not healthy for you, either, right? What's in those colors? What's. What kind of dyes are they using? dye, huh? Like, what is all that stuff made out. of? Are we sure? I mean, maybe some of. it's really good for you, maybe some of. it's terrible for you. Maybe it's just. like the scented candle. lipstick? Well, I don't know. The.

lipsticks is for the native lipsticks is. made out of smashed little bugs. Yeah, that That's one of the red dye. things, too, right? little bugs. You put them on here. Can't be bad for you, right? Can't be bad than a horse up your ass. So, what percentage Okay. 43% reported. Okay. 43% of US women reported wearing. makeup daily or weekly, but it doesn't. break out the daily portion explicitly. Rewinding to 2019, the same source noted. a higher share of women wearing makeup.

daily. Gen Z, 18 to 24 at 30%, and. millennials, 25 to 34 at 35%, suggesting a decline over time. Separate. 2023 YouGov poll of 1,000 US women found. that 38% wear make makeup at least a few. times a week or daily, with older women. 65 plus being the most likely to wear it. daily compared to younger groups. They. probably all wore it daily back in the. day, right? You got to keep up your. looks, Gladys. Go that back back up.

again, please. Another study from 2017 by Statista. indicated 41% of US women aged 30 to 59. wear makeup daily. Yeah, those are a woman back in the I. don't know if it the 1800 1900 she was. the first woman to make a woman's. magazine on clothing and home gardening. how to cook she was she was first lady. to put recipes in a magazine. Oh, yeah? Kind of like for a homemaker. Right. And then.

Yeah, there was there was in a magazine. back then. I don't know what the name of. the magazine, but. Jamie, Google is makeup bad for you? What do you think? you mean? Google is makeup toxic. When I was a kid, my seventh grade. teacher thought it was bad. Put on don't put on that makeup, young. girl. What's toxic makeup for sure. What are the What are the What are the. ingredients in makeup that are toxic? That Oh, that's right. with the green makeup, yes. Bro, no. The The lady with the green. makeup, the Wizard of Oz or the Tin Man.

Yeah, they got real sick, man. Mercury. Yes, some makeup can be toxic. Wow. Lead, mercury, and arsenic. Heavy metals. can be found in cosmetics. Phthalates, common contaminant in cosmetics. Formaldehyde, a chemical found in some. makeup. Yeah, man. That's why a lot of comedian. back then stopped blackfacing. Man, that's scary [ __ ]. That's scary [ __ ].

I wonder if that contributes to a higher. incidence of certain. issues, health issues that maybe women. have that wear use it daily. I wonder how many. kind of wonder, right? How about the the. people that worked the news back then in. the '50s they wore a shitload of makeup. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And what the [ __ ] kind. of makeup did they have back then? It. was probably all chemicals. The. makeup, man. was big. What the [ __ ] Phil Donahue [ __ ]. Yeah. Yeah, man. Like you don't have to wear. that, ladies. We're not We're not that.

complicated. Do you guys got to wear makeup when you. do the UFC fights? No, I don't. I don't wear anything. I'm like, "Are. you crazy? I have to go in there with. dudes who literally have their head. split open." You know? I have to. interview people that are soaked in. blood. And sometimes the blood is. spitting out onto the microphone. I never knew that that happens. All the time. I get blood on me all the. time. Like the idea of me wearing makeup. to look better while I'm out there while. they're dealing with people that just. got their face punched in is crazy.

That's ridiculous. I won't do it. when they're speaking to you, like when. you get a fighter that's real bloody, like you can. What What's um cuz you you're really up. close to these guys. What do you see in. their eyes after a fight like when. they're in they're also bleeding, man? Do you see like. You see like their intensity, man? Do. you see things that other people don't. see when you're interviewing them? you see something. Cuz you've been in a You're there in a. fight right in front of them. Yeah, I think you're probably going to. get more of a sense of how they feel. after it's over. Like there's like some.

historic moments where you could see. that when the fighter wins, it's like. it's a big [ __ ] deal. And one of my. favorite ones was when Israel Adesanya. had his second UFC fight against Alex. Pereira. He knocks him down, knocks him. out cold, beautiful clean right hand, and finished him on the ground, and then. fires off three arrows into his body. Yeah, I remember that guy. Yes. Yes. I mean, that was a [ __ ] classic. moment. And then he grabs a microphone. and gives like one of the most. inspirational speeches. They could pull.

that speech up. Yeah, cuz it's amazing. This is my favorite moment, I think, of. anybody after they won a fight. Because. it's just like this was real in the. moment from a guy who's the [ __ ]. boogeyman, dude. Alex Pereira is the. boogeyman. He's the scariest. [ __ ] in the sport. He knocked. Izzy out twice. He left hook KO'd him in. kickboxing, and then he beat him down in. the UFC, and then Izzy finally knocked. him out. And when he knocked him out, when he fires those arrows into his.

body, and then. see if you can find that speech. And when you hear it, man, you're like, "Wow." Like, that's like. that's what that's what makes the whole. career worth it. These moments where you. reach out. that kid, yeah. and touch the world. I hope every one of you can feel this. level of happiness just one time in your. life. You never feel this level of happiness. if you don't go for something. When they. knock you down, when they talk about.

you, if you stay down, you will never. EVER GET THAT RESULT. FORTIFY YOUR MIND, AND FEEL THIS LEVEL. OF HAPPINESS AS YOU RISE. ONE TIME IN. YOUR LIFE, BUT I'M BLESSED TO BE ABLE TO. feel this. again, and again, and again, and again, and again. Amazing. Amazing. That's like human fuel. You hear someone saying something like. that after doing something like that, that can help you all throughout your. day. That's human fuel.

Amazing. Amazing. If you're going to go, go all the way, or don't even try. Yeah. Charles Bukowski. That guy was out. If you're going to go, go all the way, or don't even try. It could mean losing. girlfriends. It could mean. losing wives, relatives. It could be. spending time in jail, lonely nights in. the dark, lonely night by yourself. Yeah.

But in the end, it's all worth it. I. don't know the rest. Yeah, that's a great He was Did you ever. see the movie they did on him with. Mickey Rourke? Both. They did two movies? They did one with a Matt Dillon called. Factotum, too. When was that? That came older like in 2000 something. and he plays um at a different. There's Bukowski and there's Bukowski. Oh. Bukowski, he plays them at that age. And then. He's way too handsome. How dare he? He plays them good. he? Yeah. He's way too handsome. That's outrageous. Mickey Rourke made.

himself look [ __ ] up. He told my friends. You know, he like. Yeah. He um Bukowski is actually in. Bukowski. He's one of the one of the. drunks in the bar. Yeah. All women in the world aren't whole. Just mine. You ever see one of those. readings that he used to do? He used to. do these readings. He'd read from his. books and people would yell and he. [ __ ] have hecklers and [ __ ] and yell. out to them. He's just a.

a guy just constantly drunk with. profound. Yeah, man. When I When I When I started reading, I. wanted to read books about authors that. were from Los Angeles like in the 40s or. 50s cuz this is one of. And I said I got to find something that. that talks about Los Angeles these. streets that I live in. And there was Bukowski. He writes about. Los Angeles and I found out that his. inspiration was a guy named. um man, what's his name? He He He had. the He He writes just like Bukowski.

He wrote a He wrote a book called Ask. the Dust and um The Adventures of Arturo. Bandini. I went I'm I'm lost here of his of his. name but he. John Fante. Yes, John Fante. John Fante. wrote books in the style of Bukowski and. um. Bukowski. when um when he found out about him. he helped him um. publish all his books again. So, that's. why I know that John Fante exists.

because Bukowski he he republished all. his books for him when he was dying of. diabetes. So, Ask the Dust, bro, he. talks about Los Angeles during 1932, bro, when Los Angeles had a a metro rail. and the world the 1932 um earthquake in. Los Angeles. So, this it's all about this guy is from. Los Angeles. He talks about Armenians. and. working the docks in 1920s. Wow. That's a great catch. I want to read.

that. alcoholics, bro. This guy is an. alcoholic and. so is Charles Bukowski. Cuz these are. dudes that work jobs and still were. authors. Imagine going from those guys to Tik. Tokers at Boa. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Like these guys actually. had jobs during the day. Uh Charles. Bukowski, he worked at the post office. He never worked He never quit. Yeah. And John Fante, well, what's his name? The other guy, he. he his he started writing for Hollywood.

and he just disappeared. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, like writing screenplays and stuff? He got into under contract. Yeah, man, there there's a lot of like. talented writers who just decide to. write for a company. They just kind of like give up on their. dream. to write for a company. get hired to be a writer and then you. say "This is not for me"? Uh I got a book deal once and I gave. them the money back cuz they were they. had too much input. They wanted to have too much input and. wanted to And then they wanted me to. transcribe my stand-up. That was one of. their ideas. I'm like, "That's a. terrible idea." They're like They're.

like, "George Carlin did it." I'm like, "Well, that's fine. I'm I love George. Carlin, but so what? I'm not doing that. Like that doesn't make any sense to me. Like why would I want like the worst. version of what the ideas are, which is. just print? The best version is the live. performed version. Second best version. is a video. Worst, for sure, is print. Audio is slightly better. But it's like. you don't want to do that. Why would I. do that? That's a dumb way to write a. book. I just want to write about things. that I'm thinking about.". would you write your whole setlist on a. book? And then I realized if I'm going to. write something, I have to want to and.

it has to be something that I do because. I'm controlling the entire thing and. then if they like it, they like it and. if they don't, they don't. But it's. it's not something that I would ever. want to have somebody help me out with. this article about him. Part of the. reason why he didn't explode when other. writers did is because his publisher was. in a legal battle for an unauthorized. publication OF MEIN KAMPF. WHOA. OH, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. That's good to. know. Whoa. Holy [ __ ]. So that that kind of drained the.

resources. drain on the publisher hampered the. distribution of Ask the Dust. Yes. While Fante put out a short story. collection, [ __ ] Red, in 1940, more than. a decade would pass before another. Bandini novel. Whoa. Yeah, he disappeared and created and was. a bunch of stories about this fake. He used to live in Colorado. battle with Adolf Hitler. Well, his publisher did, but yeah. That's crazy. Crazy, huh? Insane. That's crazy. Dude, I'm going to read that. Is it on. audio? I hope it's on audio book. I'm so.

lazy. Sitting down and actually reading. reading a book right now. is too daunting. That's too daunting. Uh Felipe, one more. time, tell everybody special on Netflix, available right now. Oh, my Netflix special is available. right now, Raging Fool on Netflix. Go. check it out, directed by my wife, Lisa. O'Daniel. And I want to give a shoutout. to my my. my brother-in-law who listens to you.

religiously with his daughters. Um. Johnny O'Daniel, what's up, boo? Shoutout to Johnny O'Daniel. All right. Um Instagram, all that [ __ ] what is it? Oh, my Instagram is on Felipe Esparza. My My website is felipesworld.com. I'll be in I don't know when this airs. I'll be in Grand Rapids, Iowa and Indianapolis Helium. But um. One of those dates. I don't know. Okay. Go to the website. Go to the. website. Go to the website. April 5th.

I'll be in San Diego with Paul Rodriguez. and April 20th. I'll be in San Diego with a bunch of. comedians. Beautiful. All right. Always good to see. you my brother. Thank you for having me bro. Thanks bro. Thanks again. All right. Bye buddy.