Joe Rogan Experience #2098 - Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis

Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe. Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan. podcast by night all. day boys yes salute hey bl light came. all the way. back they came all the way back Matt en. it respons I'm not I can't are you a. non-drinker now no I drink I just. unfortunately have a bad tummy can't. have gluten oh yeah had I've had it.

since I was like 21 is it a Crohn's. thing or is it no it's like Celiac if I. have it I'll get like I won't die I'll. just start burping every you know celo. is rough man I have a buddy who didn't. know he had it until he I think he was. like 25 or something like that yeah it's. about when you got it right 21 yeah yeah. well he probably had it his whole life. just was just like just felt like [ __ ]. yeah maybe I have it we might all have. it terrible we might all have it you can. put down 18.

way respons respons responsibly there's. no way you're not driving true you for. some reason you can do it though I don't. understand I've never seen anybody. consume beer the way you can I can drink. beer but you just stay at a level a. communication level well there's no no. shots you know what I mean usually the. guys you start drinking like that you're. like all right what's the next thing. right shots that ends your night yeah. there's a corner I turn yeah where I'm. like oh no.

yeah oh yeah I cor really concentrating. on my liver come on. boys it out turn in that corner Bud. Light came all the way back UFC Shane. gills let's go let's go let's [ __ ] go. for the Bros now I mean that's a good. move like that guy that we met the CEO. yeah he's he's got it together yeah he. gets it he gets it I thought you were. the CEO now thought just in. commercial I knew you guys were going to. [ __ ] make fun of me come on man so.

happy no it it wouldn't have happened. without this listen I'm so happy I'm so. happy they it just made so much sense. you never let them go you never bailed. on them in the heart of all the. craziness he never bailed kid rocks. [ __ ] shooting cases of. it that's Nemesis that's your nesis now. I have to fight Bobby next time I go to. nationville you have a duel classic duel. I think it was an important moment in. culture where people realize like you. know there's consequences for certain. things and some people they like a guy. like Rock can shoot your brand you got.

real problems with that demographic who. would have guessed who would have. [ __ ] ever thought that was going to. just seeing Kid Rock do that people must. been like oh [ __ ] you think they watched. it in like a boardroom like guys got to. talk about this I mean that lady who was. maybe the lady who was in charge the one. lady made that one video let's let's. move on hell yeah hell yeah wow I didn't. see that. coming I think we've beaten that [ __ ]. horse into a.

it's a meaty jelly on the ground now uh. yeah it's been awesome yeah it's awesome. I'm so happy I'm they're smart man they. did a smart thing and they did a smart. thing with the UFC too it's perfect yeah. it's perfect yeah yeah they make the. fighters drink a beer before every fight. yeah I don't think that'd be you they. have monster cans in. the that probably won't happen though. but why not why can't you why can't you. have a all you have do is put blood. light on the bottle drinking [ __ ].

monster during the fight that's what I. was saying yeah are going to say it's. bad for you to have a Bud Light after a. fight that's crazy he just got punched. in the head 185 times after the fight. yeah I don't think that's a tough sell I. think those guys are cracking beers. after yeah like the strong Shan. Strickland dricus dupy fight. those they deserve a lot of beer after. that fight use them as ice packs too. like a cold yeah it's. like feels good done that. [Laughter]. you know what I've never had used on me.

is that end swell they take that piece. of hard Ste hurt like [ __ ] and they push. all the swelling away from your eyes so. you could see better oh man where does. it go it just they just P push off the. side of your head yeah it's just to. clear your vision so you can go out. there and get punched again yeah you. ever see that that press that no I I. didn't know what that was that was like. Tyson Buster Douglas they didn't even. have one they didn't bring it they. thought Tyson was going to [ __ ] up. Buster Douglas that bad they were like. well he had a bad corner see Tyson Tyson. downfall is largely related to many.

things everybody falls they just get too. big they just it's too unmanageable but. also Cato died and then he left Kevin. Rooney and so now now he's with these. guys that were just like around yeah and. there his trainers and it's like he's. Tyson so he can beat everybody anybody. yeah anyway but then he gets to this one. dude in Buster Douglas who's really. prepared his mom just died and he was. always like that super talented guy like. look how bad.

was J look how bad as I was and they. didn't have an they had a glove they. used a glove they filled a rubber glove. with ice yeah so stupid [ __ ] I mean you. need to push on that push it to the side. and Tyson still almost won he's still. almost won he still dropped yeah there. was a questionable 10 count on that it. was a questionable it was definitely but. there's a few of those out there in the. sport the the the sport should operate. on a time like a digital timer should go. off the moment someone touches the. ground that's how it should go because. if you're a guy and you you know you're. maybe you like this guy more you know.

like the fighters and the referees they. know each other like I'm you know I'm. around these guys all the time in MMA. and it's just you get to be friends with. them I'm friends with these guys damn so. there's no official clock it's just the. ref in their head I that's great I start. count obviously there's no count but in. boxing I'm sure it's kind of a similar. situation where they all know each other. like hey what's up what's going on how. you doing I used to ref kids basketball. when I was in high school and as soon as. a kid talks [ __ ] to me I'm like in my. head I was like your team's Lo I'm I'm. going to do everything in my power like.

like as soon as they're like are you. serious if a parent if a parent spoke up. I'm like you just you just lost this. game for your congratulations yeah way. to go [ __ ] and I just the whole time. you're just high as [ __ ] coaching kids. basketball 15 bucks a game some parents. are in sufferable it's insane they're so. insufferable you see it in uh Combat. Sports too you see it like some parents. are just so crazy yeah and they think. they they almost want to hit the other. kid that that fought their kid like hey. this is the deal guess that makes sense. though it doesn't make sense no no I'm.

saying like it doesn't you see your kid. getting hit it's not like a sport like a. football or something yeah there's like. an instinct to be like I got to go beat. that kid's ass for sure but you you know. this everybody knows what's going on. here this is like it's very important. you don't violate that especially with. kids and adults it's. like when you're you're allowing another. child to possibly knock your kid. unconscious and that's that's the. agreement you're making and you're. trying to have your kid is trying to. knock that kid unconscious yeah yeah it.

is what it is it's intense man when I. used to coach kids I used to take take. kids to fights like young teenagers take. them to fights you know and and. sometimes their parents would just be. [ __ ] freaking out you know it's like. I'm so used to seeing people get kicked. in the face to me it's like normal I. don't have any kids I'm 21 yeah and I'm. like okay how do I talk to these parents. and get them to relax and understand. like this is the agreement that's been. made here like you can't freak out.

yeah you're gonna freak your kid out. yeah you're gonna freak your kid out. you're putting too much pressure on your. kid like Helio Gracie used to give his. children toys and presents if they lost. that's kind of cool yeah he wanted them. them to he just wanted them to get. better and he's like the the fear of. competition the fear of losing is so. overwhelming he would do everything he. could to mitigate it and so instead of. him getting [ __ ] angry and hyped up. he would hug them and give them toys and. give them things if they lost that's.

really nice that's kind of a good way to. go about it cuz even like basketball and. football like I've seen parents like. spazz dude yeah because if you think. about it like the kid's gonna try to win. anyway he's not gonna try to get his ass. kick for a GI. Joe you know he's gonna try to win. anyway so if he wins he gets the win and. if he loses he gets a [ __ ] toy yeah. exactly I had have bet once my dad if I. scored three baskets in a game I'd be. able to rent Mortal Kombat my whole team. was trying to get me my friends were. trying to get me.

I. sucked six points yeah needed six points. dropping six in a summer league game is. not easy no it was young We Were Young. dude it was tough there there was a. wrestling match that was recently this. video went viral because this kid the. these two guys are wrestling and it. looks like this kid doesn't have an arm. in it looks like he's just on the neck. which is illegal in wrestling you're. supposed to have an arm in and the the. dad jumps in and I think he hits the kid. oh no yeah it's the dad I believe got.

banned for life that yeah that should do. it it's pretty crazy oh he actually. jumped in and beat the dude he thought. it was WWE rules it's like interfere he. came the steel chair I don't know what. the rules are to wrestling so I can't. tell you whether or not this I I really. know very little about wrestling so I. don't know whether or not the kid was. doing something that was highly illegal. and jiujitsu looks normal it's like oh. yeah he got his neck but I guess in. wrestling you can't just grab the neck. yeah you have to have an arm in I. shouldn't be talking about this I really.

should I honestly should know no you're. right some things that I should know you. know with the with the limitations of. their sport are but I just I'm always. like it's so Sil I guess you can choke. in wrestling like I think you could. maybe like a classic headlock I don't. know yeah you but don't you have to have. an arm in though don't you have to have. an AR I don't know any rules about. wrestling at all I was also saying it's. hard to drop I was saying it's hard to. drop Six in a summer league I wasn't I. wasn't pooing your effort mat I'm. talking about I dropped six in a summer. league game I was like yeah f down 10.

times there's a choke where you put. someone completely unconscious with one. arm with the just the like like a. headlock it's called like a a bulldog. choke or a schoolyard choke they call it. a schoolyard choke that's how um Carlos. Newton beat Pat milage for the. Welterweight Title like way way back in. the day it's a crazy picture cuz Carlos. Newton is [ __ ]. shredded and he's just got a hold is. that the one you have here no no no. that's a Alexander Corell that's a scary. one that's the scariest guy that's ever. Liv the scariest thing I've ever seen.

he's the scariest guy that ever lived. that guy used to just throw people. around but that that so there's no way. that's legal cuz you could put someone. unconscious with that yeah I don't think. you're allowed yeah probably not Jamie. what are the rules for wrestling are you. allowed to grab someone by their neck. can you show me the video with the kid. uh where the dad jumps in kind I'm not. sure if I found the right one this one I. found was yeah that's that but the one. you just showed showed that picture. again that's Carlos Newton when he. caught Pat. M that's [ __ ] big brother dude look. at that arm son like that you'd let it.

sit out the window all day long oh God. hey ladies look at that arm good Lord. bro so shredded Yeah Carl Newton was a. sensational submission guy too he also. fought Matt Hughes and choked Matt. Hughes unconscious but Matt Hughes. slammed him to the ground and knocked. him unconscious and Matt Hughes woke up. first and Matt Hughes was like I won. like he didn't even know he won what. happened was Carlos got him a standing. triangle and Carlos is putting him out. while he's standing up and then Matt and. like lasti dis effort slams him to the.

ground as he's going out wow Carlos goes. out and he goes out and then Matt wakes. up and I remember being there Matt Matt. was like that wi and he won from waking. up first he was a [ __ ] man dude back. in the day he was a man mat was like the. first like truly Elite wrestler that. learned like black belt level submission. skills so they're both out they're both. out and so like Matt it's like what he. doesn't know what's going on set up so. he's good dude slammed wearing [ __ ].

tidy whes sucks dude that sucks so bad. it was a great fight mat Hughes was the. [ __ ] man is a wild move dude yeah. yeah that is pretty nuts dude it is a. wild move but everybody wore them back. then the the Brazilian Valley tudo guys. they all wore Speedos cuz they fought. like they fought on the Beach come on. bo boys yeah you got in a fight with. some Brazilians on the beach I got. robbed in Brazil on the beach oh no they. told me they in their undes yeah no. they're just in some trunks respectable.

trunks but yeah they told me not to walk. home on the beach by myself and you just. did late at night or early in the. morning I was like late at night I could. see but I was like early in the morning. it's sunrise and I got Robie at knife. Point yeah damn that must have been. terrifying getting your ass Beed by a. guy in a speedo yeah it would suck what. did you what did you have to give up. would you it's like seven bucks it was. like seven I had a I had like a uh my. wallet and then my or had my credit card. and then I remembered I had money like. in my shoe or something and they were. pissed I'm like oh here I have this too. they were kind of nice about. oh that's cool they were like sorry.

we're really hungry and I was like hey. thanks for not stabbing me guys and then. but I was I was like you get out of your. body when you're getting robbed you're. completely out of your body and you're. just like uh that is a a kind of a cool. way to Rob someone sorry we're really. hungry yeah they were they we had a I. had a phrase book on me and my credit. card they put up they took out my credit. card I'm like yo you guys can take this. to the Mac machine just get a bunch of. money out and they were like they didn't. know what that was and then they took. like seven bucks off me they went. through my phrase book and they were. laughing at stuff that I had circled. like it was like K say it was like I.

want you they. knew they're like and I was like yeah. and then yeah it was like the most it. was pretty like cordial the whole. experience wow damn yeah it made fun of. you that made fun of my phrase book they. were like B they're flipping through it. when you land in Rio you drive through. the vellas it's so scary and it's it's. like oh my God like the the level of Po. you ever see city of God yes bro it. makes boys in the hood look like Sesame. Streets D that movie is crazy. yeah they're just living in sheds on a.

hill it's that game what was that game. you playing Fallout where you like. you're like grabbing pieces of metal. your house it's crazy yeah I know a lot. of people that came from there that's. nut all fighters yeah a lot of UFC. fighters came from the favas dude it's. terrifying yeah it's a different level. of poverty man and it's a different. level of. scarcity no opportunity nothing violence. guns yeah they come the kids are like. when you when I was walking around there. I was like 21 but they'll like they'll. come grab your leg and like hold into. your leg like poor just like dude here's.

that city of God such a good movie movie. is so crazy and apparently really. accurate it really is like what it's. like damn that was Roger eert. days yeah yeah when I was there this. like Swedish guy went to the flla with. another guy to buy coke and I was like. like you want to come I was like no. thank you [ __ ] all he got back he was. like he looked kind of like Brazilian a. little bit luckily but I was like bro. I'm not going with you to go there yeah. there's levels yeah there's levels in.

this world yeah that's a that's scary. being that poor is scary but it was nice. I was there it's like Monopoly money. it's like if it's not your currency I. was out there just do that stuff out you. love our currency I do we were in. Australia dude we were in Australia Matt. was like this is USD I tried to pay. $20 money and they were like we don't. take that I'm like come on man it's like. come on man this is 10 times your money. like dude this is American I was treated. I was treat like I was in like Honduras. I was like yo here's a 20 bucks like. well we can't take this you they'll give.

you that that's that's good money some. money have like they have like clear. little holes in them and there's like. little Holograms in it it's all [ __ ]. dude fake American money is the only. thing that matters isn't it wild though. that no one's figured out how to. completely accurately recreate money. it's just pieces of like they had to. really stay ahead of the curve for the. counterfeits technology increased the. that was a major problem when this. country was like starting yeah it was an. easy thing to do was pun death wasn't it. yeah yeah they used to [ __ ] you up for.

that I remember the first time I ever. saw a fake $20 bill I was like oh wow. this is weird it's weird it's like feels. wrong yeah I don't think you can buy the. paper that's the thing I think there's a. specific money is a specific paper but. people bleach bills and then you can. print you can get the real paper bleach. the bill and print like tens on like a. one and then you can do that and sell. you can sell bundles of them to people. oh no kidding yeah that's what they do. that's what I've heard yeah you involved. in this no I just I just man how long.

you been doing this how long you been no. I just I've heard there's bad bad money. goes around people sell it in like big. chunks and you can get it and like it. just seems like if they can make fake. Rolexes how the [ __ ] can they not make. fake like cuz you know they have the. light they shine on the dollar bills now. cuz there like things embedded in them. and stuff yeah I don't know but I think. the people who are counterfeiting though. aren't just kind of like I don't know. you'd have to be so Advanced. technologically to like do that and if. you were able to make money you could. probably do all kinds of other stuff.

yeah but that's the case with a lot of. things that are illegal it's like. there's some industrious people that. just go the wrong way in life but. they're really [ __ ] smart that's true. I think I had some fake mushrooms. recently oh yeah official say man sued. Mr Clean Magic Erasers while he used ma. rather Mr Clean Magic Erasers to. transform $1 bills into hundreds Magic. Erasers so he erased it and then. reprinted over it yeah you're supposed. to clean your wall with. that way you can get you have the good.

paper but then if I guess that's why. they have those strips cuz then you can. hold up a strip and be like that's not a. $10 bill this is a $1 a lot of work man. yeah but dude I wonder how much money. you made you go to jail forever son it's. a secret service preds the Secret. Service looks into this stuff speaking. of which what did they arrest Killer. Mike for oh yeah that is one of the most. ridiculous they don't arrest anybody in. La you got people literally doing meth. in front of people's houses in tents. what did he do and Killer Mike gets. arrested after he wins Three G yeah what.

did he do well of course the online. conspiracy theory is that he criticized. Joe Biden that's that's the online. conspir conspiracy I like that that's a. great conspiracy that is it's a fun. conspiracy having fun why who the [ __ ]. would arrest Killer Mike like what is. this misdemeanor what did he do did he. have a a license plate missing or. something like what the [ __ ] did he do. that. they're do release a charge we got to. find out Killer Mike I guarantee you. didn't Killer Mike yeah you think he did. funny he's such a good guy Killer Mike.

as brilliant as he is that is the name. of like a crazy Thug yeah it's not the. name of a guy who's like a philosopher. Killer Mike yeah Killer Mike is like a. killer Mike's not even a creative name. it's like a name that's like the dumb. guy in the neighborhood they're like oh. that's Killer Mike [ __ ] away from that. guy this is from this is an hour ago he. said nothing happened but this is the. official report this says a physical. altercation happened oh. and he released misdemeanor battery and.

then released on zero Bale oh he [ __ ]. slapped. somebody that kind of rules that's. awesome but again in Los Angeles there's. people that are like literally pulling. knives on sheriffs and being out of jail. like that day yeah he Smith did at the. at the right in front of the whole world. and he gets arrested yeah that's bizarre. you think it's like post Will Smith. they've changed the rules maybe maybe. whenever celebrities smack each other to. step in right away might be a new task.

force for that well it depends on who he. smacked you know true that's the. question yeah right if it's somebody we. want him to smack yeah you know now I'm. now I'm really irritated you know if he. smacked ter Swift that would be a real. issue that would be yeah you don't put. your hands on our Queen not after last. night she had she didn't she do well. last night I saw the news she did a lot. in the Grammys things are going well for. Taylor Swift is doing all right I find. it so fascinating how many people are. for whatever reason are opposed to it. they don't like that she's so.

popular it's normal it's normal human. behavior she's ruining the game of. football now I can't watch she a new. thing she's ruin she has ruined the game. of football I can't even watch it. anymore cuz it cuts to her once or twice. and every time theame and I see her and. I go mother [ __ ] why do you care no I. don't at all it's crazy although I will. say this when they're playing against. you when it's your team and then the. camera cuss Taylor Swift that's when it.

that makes sense though cuz if you're. like have a billionaire just laughing in. your face their team's incredible the. Chiefs are incredible and then it cuts. to her up there in a box they were in. like Buffalo okay everyone's outside. freezing it cuts to them. like oh perfect heated. box deeper issu how to respect if you're. going to see a Buffalo game in January. you should be outside you got to get out. there out of respect got be in the snow. out of respect for the players you like. you'll feel it more yeah yeah just. bundle up [ __ ] where's some muffins.

[ __ ] mittens and. [ __ ] they were giving fans like $20 an. hour to go shovel the stadium yeah I saw. that before it's incredible oh yeah that. was a crazy move that was crazy I can't. believe they did I can't believe no one. died they could have easily died yeah. dude just drinking and shoveling for 20. bucks an hour oh yeah my friend Tommy. just blacked out behind the wheel of his. car shoveling yeah he crashed his car. and [ __ ] himself up sorry sow snow. shov. sorry snow shovelers and pal or plow.

truck drivers get so [ __ ] up when we. were in high school we used to get hired. by landscapers in the winter to shovel. and they would just feed us beer and. weed when we were like you just get. people [ __ ] up and you stay up all. night and shovel count them and they. give you like 20 bucks an hour and. you're just like what the [ __ ] when I. lived in Boston we would always whenever. it snowed me and my friends would go out. to places and go you guys want us to do. your thing and make negotiate a deal do. the with driveway this driveway is 30. this driveway is 40 depending on how big. it is and some of them you get [ __ ]. like some of them you don't realize the.

snow's wet and it's a long ass driveway. you're an hour and a half in you're only. a quarter way there you're like oh we. [ __ ] up dude my friend own pric this. one my friend owned a landscaping. company and I didn't have a job I was. just I was living with my girlfriend at. the time she was a teacher I was. literally playing Xbox like she was like. you got to turn it around I was like I'm. going to do comedy she's like you're. doing open mics at the harrisb comedy. zone I was like trust me how old you. probably. 24 oh my God and then my friend. landscaping company I had zerar I was.

not working at all and he was like come. help us shovel I was like all right nice. I got out I was there for 10 minutes put. the shovel down I was like bro I'm going. back home it's grueling yeah I quit. immediately you're out all night too but. but you put your beers in the snow oh. it's kind of nice that is nice oh boy. just blasted lifting chunks of snow. everywhere I think I was like four beers. in and I was like I'll just go drink. more inside true I kind of feel bad why. the [ __ ] am I out here I kind of feel. bad for kids who grew up without snow.

yeah that's a [ __ ] pivotal moment in. youth bro a snow day snow days and then. just just hanging out with your friends. and the snow and then the quiet. everything's quiet when it snows out. it's like you're in a movie it's like. yeah you're outside it's like sorry my. IE keep water the best nothing no sound. at all that's how all right s you guys. know you got nothing to. do Lam mer fell yesterday that's I I was. like couldn't hear him fall he fell.

behind us we were walking into the creek. in the cave and he slipped and I turn I. was like damn he fell like snow like it. was dead silent we didn't hear him fall. he didn't make a noise oh we got the. security footage I said got security. footage I immediately got the security. footage look at. him you got to get the other angle that. was fairly graceful yeah I mean he laid. there it seems like there's steps there. he fall on steps he jumped over the curb. and he stepped on the bottom of that oh.

boy boy it doesn't take a lot to trip. him no look at that bro he just goes. down he does go like you're s like snow. off of a roof you couldn't hear a single. thing bro he would suck at Judo don't. tell him that bro they just be tripping. him all day long he's that he Prides. himself on being Nimble so this was like. a real no he doesn't he was very sad. about this come on really yeah I mean. that was everything was Nimble before he. fell though he did like a little hop. like anime jump oh my God you have two. angles. Jamie do you have that wrestling match.

where that Dad attacks the kid that's. again I don't know if I had the right. one anyway rules nice is this the right. one I don't believe so let me see this. one this is I think it probably have but. no Jes Christ oh my God see that's what. I'm talking about look at this [ __ ]. guy dumped oh let me see that shot [ __ ]. oh he threw the kid down on his. head oh [ __ ]. wow show the M shot again that was a. good.

one yeah he was that's not I wouldn't. have expected that guy to move like that. yeah he moved that guy's Nimble he's got. a kid true how much of that you think is. protection of the kid versus like 100%. you think it's all protection yeah you. got dumped on his head see watch the. watch how the kid goes down the kid goes. down head first like at Tombstone see. how the ref touches his head cuz he's. freaked out that's a bad landing like. you could break your neck like that you. get definitely can get a concussion you. might have had a concussion. godamn that's how Kellin used to beat.

guys Kellin used to literally hoist guys. up and pound them into the ground just. pound them over and over and over again. Jesus Christ that says it's an illegal. move that's just a comment I don't. know I think it is an illegal move but. also like when you're lifting people up. and throwing them and they're resisting. wild [ __ ] happens yeah but you know it. does seem like he pile DED him on his. head he seemed like he should have known. in the middle of that move that you're.

not gonna you were talking about a choke. or something yeah the kid was apparently. doing an illegal choke and the dad. jumped in it's also in that kid's. defense if you have someone up in the. air in a wrestling match it's hard not. to slam them in the ground it's hard as. anytime you pick anybody up it's like oh. I'm going to slam me on the ground as. hard as I can well I'm sure there's. different rules in like young amateur. wrestling versus what they would do in. the Olympics but Kellan used to just. pile drive people he just hoist them up. and he was it was a freak dude there's. nothing worse than like the only. experience I have is like football so.

it's like first play of the game like. the guy against you just [ __ ] you up. you're like damn this is going to be. yeah it's a long game dude I'm going to. get [ __ ] up for two hours like. wrestling if a dude slammed you right. away you'd be like all right they slam. you [ __ ] call this thing and then in. MMA they start punching you in the face. while you're recovering from being. slammed you know I was looking for it. there's a Dar joke pulled off in a. wrestling match yes I think that is. legit because it's one arm in I think. that's the rule oh he put him out damn.

oh [ __ ] damn and he hit him with the. [ __ ] Matt Hughes uh choked out. Ricardo Almeida with a wrestling move. where he had uh head and arm like from. the front and he just he has such a. squeeze that he gripped the head and arm. and just kind of squ you're just and. you're just cutting off their karate AR. yeah yeah yeah you're cutting it all off. oh God M that [ __ ] tank when he was. the welterweight champ dude he was a an. yeah that [ __ ] sucks man and for him to.

grab your arm and your head together. like this which is basically what he had. he had him like on the side with his arm. and head together and just squeezed it. so hard he went out I was just watching. who's the uh who's like the Mongolian. guy or uh us Pakistani or. Kazakhstan [ __ ] he he he got a standing. [ __ ] yeah Rockman off yeah shot yeah. he's a beast I think that's what you're. talking about he a little brother yeah. see see how the dad jumps in yeah so the. kid's on his back and he rolls him over.

and it looks like the kid's got a choke. but I can't tell if he's got an arm in. damn he does have an arm in he doesn't. have an arm in he did have an arm in. he's like my bad my bad that's my bad my. bad I got yeah he's banned for life that. is that is it he banned for life now I. don't know what the rules are but it. does look like the kid has an arm in he. has an arm in see as they roll over see. how his arm is under the. arm that is he that [ __ ] walrus ref. dude yeah man poor guy no he looks his.

he looks like yeah. diabetes that's um that is a weird. that's a weird situation but you know. dads [ __ ] lose their cool yeah well. there's also like when you're watching. your kid wrestling and combat is. different but like if they're watching. your if you're watching your kids suck. at like basketball or football yeah then. you're like taking that personally cuz. that kid's supposed to like carry you on. yeah this is your legacy it's your. legacy it's also like that at the. [ __ ] dog park oh my God if your dogs. are playing a dog losers people jump in. yeah my sister jumped in yeah her dog.

was losing and she like I've punched. punched I've punched dogs at dog parks. I've had dog like a dog grab my dog by. the neck and I just well some people. bring aggressive dogs to dog parks it's. just not wise I I didn't know I didn't. know they my dog was a puppy I didn't. know when my dog was a puppy I used to. bring him to dog park so he started. fighting with dogs he liked it too much. so like no more yeah like I brought. Nikita I brought Nikita to dog parks and. those things are nasty you can't. discourage that either it's a weird. thing like the the dog fighting thing.

unless you're a professional trainer and. you're with that dog all the time like. you got to be with that dog and you got. to really do a really good job if it's. an aggressive dog of of getting them. around socialize them with other dogs. because they just [ __ ] dominate each. other yeah it's just natural with dogs. yeah they do they bow up on each. other start growling like God damn it. everyone has a different tolerance thres. threshold too because you go to the dog. park some people want them to get a. little rough some people are like not at. all exactly well if you're a woman and.

you got a poodle you know the [ __ ] don't. bring that thing around poodles are. working poodles are working breed a big. pole real big one a big poodle yeah. those things are nasty what are they. doing they're big a big poodle what do. they work on bird hunting probably. poodles yeah poodles are bird Hunters is. that what they are I'm pretty sure a big. poodle not a little you're a little to. yeah yeah I've heard they're actually. good Watch Dogs the big dud tell me the. big poodles are not everything the. French do doger dude every single thing. dude imagine being like an aristocrat.

with a poodle dude they're sexual dogs. too everything the French very sexual I. used to dog walk and I had a big black. poodle I walked and he tried to [ __ ] me. the whole time that was you dude you. were just looking at good poodle. originated in Germany in the Middle Ages. a dog similar to today's standard poodle. the Poodle's Germany's water dog just as. England had the English water spanel. French had the barbet and Ireland had. the Irish water spaniel and the. Netherlands uh the Wester.

wet Wun among the evidence used to. support this theory is the Germanic name. for the breed poodle or pudel in German. which is derived from the low German. word pudlin meaning to Splash Water Dog. numerous works by that makes sense that. they have that hair yeah you're right it. says right there ancestors were widely. used by water followers to both retrieve. shot game and to recover lost arrows and. bolts that missed their Mark wow they. chased down how high were you when you.

hit the poodle. Wikipedia you were like yo they're. poodles are water they were surprising. me I kept seeing them in a while and. they kept surprising me I'm like dude. these guys are not Puss they fly dude a. they're [ __ ] dude but then he. started doing this [ __ ] to that's I. hate that man why do they do that that's. what women want to do to us dude that is. what they want to do to us it's what. they're doing to us right now they are. doing it that's what they want to do get.

away with it no man we got to be scared. guys there a bunch of scared guys and. Andrew. tapate there's only one man left dude. it's. Tate a Muslim now only Tate can save us. bro I know man top G he is the top G out. of jail yeah he's doing U superar. reviews on YouTube it's hilarious that's. tight and I don't think it's under the. name Andrew tape but it is him. yeah you know probably because they. would ban him from YouTube right away.

can't get on to anything yeah yeah so. but it's him they he review to Maserati. it's pretty funny. review talks a lot of [ __ ] let me tell. you about the Matrix my. friend why are they Bing that guy except. for I mean in Romania he's uh under. allegations of a rape charge and sexual. trafficking yeah and if if you tra. trafficking is weird too cuz if you like. if I trick you in a crossing state lines. then you get plowed I've trafficked you.

but if I'm like you're about to get. plowed and you get in my car and you get. plowed you're fine you know what I'm. saying yeah I've been tricked across day. L okay so he does have one he does have. one it says the Cobra mind that's his. channel probably okay so there was. another Channel maybe they were. appropriating his content maybe that's. what it is likely most likely yeah he's. the most Googled man in the world it's. funny to have a cobra's mind those are. dumb [ __ ] animal smart ass I know. right but he's a smart ass dude man.

regardless of what you think about some. of the things that he said about women. um the the. [ __ ] intelligence of that the the. whole thing that he did were getting. people to like Tick Tock his stuff and. and go viral yeah he did yeah he was. [ __ ] a genius at that yeah my. 12-year-old was asking me about him. really yeah what' you say you said. that's the top G baby well I mean I said. what I know about him I said he he was a. legit kickboxer I knew him as a. kickboxer before Oh wait was he he I.

didn't know he was like oh he was legit. oh really yeah he's a legit kickboxer. very good kickboxer yeah he fought on uh. infusion a bunch of times infusion was. um is a kickboxing card from God I'm not. sure where I think it's from the UK. sorry thanks man but my friend. Vinnie used to do uh commentary for it. DN he was nice that's what I never knew. good fighter solid fighter really good F. I'm sorry do you have a tissue man I'm. allg going crazy yeah my allergies.

picked up today going crazy sorry about. that we're finding out the negative. parts of living here in Austin [ __ ]. Cedar fever baby that's what they call. it's already January I mean this is now. it's already been going on yeah how long. how long does this go depends on who. gets it I get it bad dude do you yeah I. don't get it at all well you're top G. you're top. G yeah everybody keeps telling me one. day you're going to get it like okay nah. you won't get it man [ __ ] that I did one. year though I had uh my throat was.

really sore I was like what this is. weird lasted a long time nothing. allergies allergies can make you like. sick you didn't know and it comes back. and yeah that's what got me yeah you. feel like you have a cold like I my I so. I think I there I did have a reaction. One Year to one particular thing that. was in the air yeah where I was like. what the [ __ ] is going this is a weird. cold yeah cuz it didn't feel like I was. sick it doesn't go away also it was a. while a couple of weeks Jam's dog stuck. his tongue in my mouth so maybe I'm. allergic to dogs SL you sure maybe.

little oh damn you're allergic to Carl. how could you be I be allergic to oh are. you allergic to dogs I no not at all but. I've never had one put his tongue in my. mouth so I never closing yeah but your. eyes are you're like you've got an. allergic reaction yeah are you sure. you're not allergic to the dog I think I. might be now do you have a dog yeah I. have two oh but they've never put their. tongue in my mouth that's what I'm like. cat allergies in cat making out with. Carl I was having allergic reaction. check out his face let see I'm having an. allergic [ __ ] reaction look at look. at face it'll go away I'm also on. steroids to get my voice back CU my.

body's all [ __ ] up oh you're on Roy. and you kiss a dog yeah dude you're fine. dude the has to go f my eye is just. sorry I'm so sorry to make this all. about me. dude eyes just freaked out you you're on. steroids to get your voice back I lost. my voice yeah for how long uh I've been. losing it I've been doing shows and I. lose it every show so then I like took. ster I took the preg Zone all weekend. cuz I could I literally had zero voice. Maybe there's a better way to talk have. you ever gone to like a vocal coach no.

cuz you know uh be real from Cypress. Hill you told me went to a vocal coach I. might go CU you know he's got that. insane in the memory he got that very. specific sty he learned how to like use. his so he didn't burn his voice out I. also sing in my car at full blast I got. to stop doing that I stop doing that. that's what it is what are you say d on. a Prayer you're nice I can't help. it I can't help it we watched we might. have watched it here when Matt sang at. the Holiday party at the mothership oh.

yeah bro yeah what did you say I forget. unchain. Melody we watched from the balcony it. was incredible me and my wife were. fighting and then we both had karaoke. songs come up and I'm like we don't have. time for this let's go sing our. karaoke and we got we made up it was. nice that's. hilarious po no your guys seem like. they're getting better they are it's go. it's going Happ I think it's the dog. probably it's all was in your you had to. blow your nose you I did it was.

something was in my nose got like kenel. cough that dog that's a new dog dude you. got a [ __ ] weird dog disease my body. will fight it off my body will fight it. off so far it's losing no this healthy. immune response this is a healthy immune. response so what kind of storys they put. you on for your throat prazone oh okay. yeah makes you feel weird man friend of. mine had that for gout he had gout zone. is like a wander drug yeah it works for. poison ivy pretty tight yeah so did it. fix it yeah I mean yeah I couldn't talk. like I was I had no voice and I powered.

me through my last three shows so I was. like were you trying to use your voice. in the car singing even though you had. no voice were you pushing it a little. bit I did it today oh no you did today. what did you sing today I did a couple. bars dude what you. say what' you saying dude everybody's. talking. by Harry or Harry neelon oh boy I know. I'm such a [ __ ] I can't I can't help. it I can't help it it hits me right in. the soul dude I'm like I got to get you. got to sing I have to sing what's do you.

ever go like Axel Rose you ever really. [ __ ] your voice up no I'll [ __ ] you try. to hit those notes I that's not into my. register Axel Rose Welcome to the Jungle. yeah I can't do this that that'll [ __ ]. destroy it'll destroy [ __ ] your voice up. man yeah but you know it is what it is. it'll come back eventually I've had like. a I've had this problem for like three. weeks. straight dude don't dude Jamie people. get. talking mat bless you want hear. me only the echo of my mind dude I'm.

going to lose my voice let's go. Matt people stoping. staring I can't see the face what are. you doing hold me the shadows of their. eyes I'm done Chang say you kiss that. dog didn't singing I'm a singer now dude. you know the thing T pay did where he. went on stage and just car I might do. that. he just at the end of the show you. should sing I'm going to start he he.

painted I mean he did his own songs too. he did a live performance where we had a. full band behind him did his own songs. and then just covered a bunch of songs. then put him out on Instagram like dude. I might just start becoming a. professional. singer [ __ ]. that you should sing at the end of your. shows would love that that's a good idea. dude gu [ __ ] good call there was a guy. named Barry Diamond he used to perform. at the comedy store and uh funny comic. he was in like that movie bachelor party. with uh Tom Hanks back in the day so.

anyway he would open up his set by. singing Walking in Memphis really and. you didn't know what was going on he did. the whole song that's funny walk in him. he had a great voice so he' be he'd be. singing it and then he would go into his. act pretty tight that's I had to sing. one time remember the comedy show I did. what I got booked for a private comedy. show way way way long ago for it was. like the America I swear to God I think. it was like Survivor not the survivors. of the Holocaust it was like an old. Jewish like Jesus saying it the.

survivors of the Holocaust benefit it. was like some sort of like jewi it was. ancient Jewish people and I bomb so bad. he's bar. down so be you. I'll. dude so. nice you got to end with this though. this is crazy. he's. [Music].

incredible that's I mean how do you. follow that end o and he would just go. into comedy but he was like real silly. as a comedian so it's funny to watch him. go from that to like silly comedy kind. of what was the benefit you did oh I I. uh it just these it was like some sort. of old Jewish Foundation I don't know. what it was called but they I bombed I. was I was standing at the. what I was stand. Central. Bank no I'm joking I'm not anti-semetic.

at all I was standing up at a Podium to. do stand up in a hotel. yeah I thought Jamie said I thought. Jamie said that Jamie said that I can't. believe Jamie said that D the uh I was. standing up at a Podium to do stand up. and I I was like 25 and I bombed so bad. they I was like you guys don't like this. at all and they were like No And I was. like what do you guys want me to do and. like sing us a song I had to just sing. Oh I just sang him a song for a while I. got like 175 bucks thank God do you. remember that Bach party we did what's. what song did you sing L is for the way.

you look at me that song they asked for. that one no that was the only one I. knew I just let them have it did they. like that they they were pleased they. were pleased those I can say factually. those old Jews were. pleased tap dancing for him yeah that's. great bomb like bombing so bad you have. to be like all right what's a different. performance you guys hate this what. other guys like you guys think about the. power of Dan back. like that's wild to change genres in the.

middle of I had to switch it up on this. hey the early days you got to. do switch straight to Ming Ming's. hilarious I know. magic magic rules him with [ __ ] I can. juggle you can't follow. magic good magic how do you follow magic. you know the worst kind of Comedy to. follow is musical comedy yeah that'd be. tough somebody does like funny songs. yeah you're [ __ ] Dooms you're doomed. son yeah and it's frustrating cuz a lot. of times a funny song is just like an.

average joke but somebody's playing a. guitar with it there was a guy that was. a legend in New England who used to do. dirty jokes he used to be on Dr Demento. all the time but he used to do dirty God. I can't remember his name but he was. like a famous guy who did like dirty. songs and he would [ __ ] sell out. everywhere yeah it's funny if you did a. show with him you could never go on an. after you were doomed you were [ __ ]. doomed you're going to bomb you imagine. if you had to follow like wheeler Walker. Jr oh my God Jesus no chance yeah.

because it's two things going on it's. funny and there's mus yeah yeah he's. good there's funny there's music it's. hilarious you could you could repeat it. it's still funny it also like joins a. crowd together differently too yeah you. just play music the whole crowd kind of. congeals into totally different vibe you. go see a good concert it's like you're. [ __ ] in tune with everybody you know. a really good concert when someone's. killing it yeah and someone comes on. they're like I'm [ __ ] jerking off and. you're like you guys ever jack off yeah.

[ __ ] [ __ ] just straight. in so my girlfriend broke up with me my. girlfriend's a [ __ ] you guys jack off. [ __ ] [ __ ] I'll sing anyway walk in my. face walk. my that's that's actually extremely. funny to hit the eject on a in the. middle of a comedy set just hit the Jack. button start singing they were they were. like visibly dispached yeah they were.

old as hell the shows you do in you're. starting is me and him did a oh God they. hired helium hired us to do a bachelor. party me and Matt just stood in front of. a table of nothing we went to a. restaurant with the bachelor party and. in the middle of dinner they were like. all right comedy we stood at the head of. the table for like 10 people dude oh my. God it was [ __ ] crazy and it was like. a sober Pat party oh no it everyone sad.

and we had not we just started doing. comedy like we were bad at comedy oh no. and I just did just material I went up. there and did like straight 10 minutes. of no mic material just Flatline and I'm. like all right Shane how about you get I. think Shane was I think Shane looked at. me like I I was like let's both do it I. I'll help I was dying dude and then yeah. you went up and just did the sensible. thing of talking and figuring out what's. up with him yeah I was like this is. weird why are we doing this I why the. [ __ ] would you guys hire me and Matt to. humiliate. ourselves it was I did a black lady uh.

Mother's Day show oh yeah in North. Philly this guy just hired me to do. comedy in front of a brunch for just for. real like 14 black ladies for Mother's. Day same thing I just stood at the head. of the table it was crazy wild just died. and they were just being very nice. they're like you're doing great that's. kind of cool in the middle of Just A. Mother's Day brunch. what you would you you switch stuff up. at all or like oh.

no you guys like. racism that's all I got I got one. pitch all right that's. ball yeah that those shows are very fun. though they teach you something though. that do I mean what other art forms. allow you to start out like that where. you you realize like there's no real. structure to this at all in terms of. like how you can make money doing it. how do you how do you become a. professional I mean look you guys are.

both like legit professionals now and. you started that way I did too yeah. that's how it starts I did I did Bach. parties with no microphone really yeah I. did a couple of them crazy yeah they're. terrible it's hell I still I just. figured out how it worked like three. years ago I didn't know I thought for. real like I was like you'll just do it. and then someone would be like here's a. bunch of money you're so I was like no. you have to like people still do. corporate gigs they shouldn't do. corporate i' Adam Sandler at the airport. and I was like what's up what are you.

doing he's like dude I just did the. worst [ __ ] gig of my life I bom so. hard ripping so bad he just they just. paid him a lot of money to do this thing. true but he was laughing about it he's. like oh my God it was. terrible I bombed I I bombed this week I. bombed at the in the little boy oh no I. bombed so badly that I had people there. with me we were going to go do something. after and I was like I'm going to do one. show and then we'll go I stayed I was. like I got to stay for the L you have to. redeem yourself I did so I sweat I was.

sweating I bombed so [ __ ] bad that I. was sweating I was like what is. happening I I sat on the balcony with. Adam egot and like I was like I got to. change everything dude The Late Show was. fun those are [ __ ] good for you. though they are D some of my best. moments in my my comedy has been after. really bad sets cuz then I just like. really focused go God I've been [ __ ]. up something's obviously did something. wrong yeah that was the first I haven't.

done new material in a while I had to. yeah after that first show I was like. all right new jokes yeah yeah and it. worked it was nice did you oh yeah you. did like some Refreshers yeah yeah. comedy is just a wild [ __ ] thing. isin't it it's just nobody can tell you. how to do it nobody knows exactly how. you should do it and it's embarrassing. bombs bombs are good bombs are good. bombs are good bombing at A Mother's Day. and then walking outside and it's 1: p.m. that's tough dude when you walk. outside and it's still Sunny after you. bombed it's a crazy and you're in North.

Philly what the [ __ ] am I doing with my. life and you're thinking about your. future yeah cuz your future is not a. given there's a lot of guys we started. out with that are gone yeah yeah oh yeah. no it's well it's also that's the thing. about comedy is where it's like with. bombing like good Comics will be like. yeah you need that yeah so then there's. guys that are just [ __ ] bombing true. that's and they're like this is part of. the all part of the process yeah yeah. keep around I bombed them I do I do like.

the dudes who bomb every [ __ ] time. they don't give a [ __ ] dud it's kind of. tight I mean it's admirable there's Bros. that bomb for 10 straight years yeah. that's not good there's a lot of. Fighters like that too they just always. get knocked knocked out yeah that's not. good you shouldn't find another thing to. do yeah true or you're just not going to. be good at anything that's not also. possible there's certain certain people. that just never get good at anything get. their thing yeah whatever it is no. matter what it is they just they lack. something that's [ __ ] rough that's. rough maybe I'll play video games you.

just get [ __ ] murdered they're really. good at leaving comments on YouTube. they they actually are good at that and. I'll tell you what those work those are. effective yeah those dudes will. absolutely sh you [ __ ] a weak up for me. yeah I I try to do like a thing where. I'm like I understand you're feeling in. my head I'll be like he's just very. upset right now but yeah they'll get you. thinking like it's not a thing yeah. that's a bad uh it's a bad although. they're they're like a part of the whole. YouTube ecosystem where like if you. catch enough bad ones sometimes you go.

maybe I can think about something yeah. maybe I am an [ __ ] it's like maybe. I'll think about something or you know I. don't know it's tough because you don't. want to be like nobody can tell me [ __ ]. but then sometimes you'll read them. you're like I don't have to deal with. this right now the thing is you don't. know who you're talking children you. don't know who you're talking to you. could be talking to the biggest [ __ ]. [ __ ] that works at 7-Eleven you could. be talking to the biggest [ __ ] of. course and it's just like you're like. [ __ ] you that's not true yeah exactly. it's just a waste of time it's a it's a. total waste time just the numbers you're.

dealing with just the sheer volume of. people even if you're just reasonably. successful I mean you don't even have to. be regular I mean you don't even have to. be like a headliner you could be just. like a a middle act that has a career. get you can get hate yeah you'll go. through you'll read all the comments. it'll be like I saw I saw him as [ __ ]. opener sucked godam it dude it's. whatever his name was I hated him yeah. you're always going to get those well. sometimes you can like have someone on. the podcast and you just watch every. like [ __ ] that guy sucks so bad and.

you're just like God damn bro that sucks. man yeah yeah if I was a if I was. certain people I would not want to read. comments after their guests on podcast. no man it's you know you can tell when. it [ __ ] with their head too I I think. it gets everybody I don't every I think. it gets everyone a little bit I think. you maybe get better I'm better and. better now I can take it now it's not as. much of a shock but on any given day I. can read one that's what I think yeah. I'm like I got it under control I'm fine. say come up with new ones and then you. find one you're like damn they do come. up with new ones you're like I've never.

even thought of that before [ __ ] you. sons of [ __ ] it's part of that that's. also part of the process right. developing the ability to just not be. affected by that like snake venom you. know yeah get little little doses of s. well because you you can also get like. conflicting messages where like awesome. you're the [ __ ] worst piece of [ __ ]. in the world and you're like wait a. minute yeah you have to stop be like. what am I I'm probably somewhere in the. middle probably just an average [ __ ]. who's got better. oh the guy the guy who likes me spells. right true he doesn't WR [ __ ] comma dude.

this guy's on the ball he's on the ball. that's true too if you see a lot of. typos in the comment you be like dude. move on bro go back to school brother. get out of here you can't even. spell you criticizing Matthew would you. please hand me a Bud Light absolutely. responsibly absolutely wow what a. [ __ ] beer. dude God damn dude something about it. dude it's I met the Clydes did you. really he had toet meet horses I had to. meet some horses then I got I got really.

responsible it was in New Orleans I got. extremely responsible around the hes. around thees then I called my dad and he. didn't answer it was late and I was like. I met. horses I left him like a voicemail I was. like d it was a good time in New Orleans. I saw horses I met the C like Jesus. Christ oh my God it's a big [ __ ]. horse right it's the biggest [ __ ]. horse I've ever seen dude they're jacked. it's head was the size of me they're a. lot bigger than regular horses right.

cdale cdale are especially the anheiser. bush ones they're gigantic dude Jesus. Christ and I'll tell you they're big. everywhere if you know what I'm talking. about big Co distracting distracting. there it is wow that thing is huge yeah. holy [ __ ] look at the size of that horse. dude its head for real is a size of huge. dude you're a big dude yeah that's that. horse that's that's like maybe people. need to recognize like how tall are you. I'm 63 so he's 6'3 look how big that. [ __ ] horse is you that horse's back.

is like 510 yeah it's a that's insane. crazy what's a how much bigger are they. than a regular horse cuz like look at. the top of his head dude their HSE shoes. their their shoes are like it's CRA a. regular ones like that he looks so big. like who at his head it's so scary his. head looks like half of your body I. brought I brought cam with me for this. tour so it was me and cam Patterson all. right enough Jamie. look at me being a [ __ ] sellout.

huh listen man you you [ __ ] light. yeah man me and cam got in there and. they were showing us the Clydesdales and. there's like a a lady giving us like the. details of all the which was obviously. very interesting it's like how much they. [ __ ] eat and everything literally as. soon as we walked in we looked at that. thing's [ __ ] junk and immediately. we're. like I'm trying to for real I'm I'm. trying to listen to this toour guide and. I'm literally standing there like. it's [ __ ] dick is big oh my god look.

how big look how the size of it compared. to a regular horse holy [ __ ] dude dude. holy [ __ ] they're so big that one that. you you showed uh originally the left. hand lower left hand corner Jamie yeah. look at that one donkey bro that's. crazy holy [ __ ] the whole time every. time how big that thing is they're. always like these horses are very gentle. they're the nicest horses and I'm sure. they are when you're standing next to. that thing you're like dude I'm that. thing could do anything and I'm dead.

what is is that a viking horse is that. what the Vikings used what is that have. no idea yeah why was it so big I don't. know cuz they're a German company so. cdale Scottish sounds Scot yeah why are. they so. big like I'd love to know yeah I mean. like what they they they must have. select breed them to make them that big. yeah what's anzer Bush's horse division. like is they you would think they're. into like horse raising horses I don't. know that's part of their business is.

they keep horses yeah they have like a. they didn't shoot any of them after. everything went they would never shoot. the horses dude I'm just wondering I. mean that's what happens when people go. poor no shoot horses start eating them. how dare you dude not my company they. fired like a lot of people I was. wondering if they shot any horses sure. just put them on a horse and smack legit. question you know an aner bush own the. rights they own the rights to diesel. engines bro I know it's funny it's it's. such an expensive joke.

dude come on man we you brought Bud. Light back the horses yeah they're. they're very proud of those [ __ ]. horses too and I look not to be a. corporate shill you see those Cloud. sales it's exciting you see them pulling. the [ __ ] anheiser Bush cart that's. why they use them in commercials yeah. it's a very exciting thing so sick look. at that yeah godamn didn't meet the. [ __ ] Dalmation though I was sad about. that what bro they didn't even look real. they're so big they don't look. real yeah it looks [ __ ] crazy is that.

like a ceremony like is that like the. ceremonial yeah it was pretty cool at. the end of prohibition they [ __ ] rode. those things right down Pennsylvania. Avenue and gave the president a case of. Budweiser wow pretty sick I forgot how. long prohibition was it was a while dude. it like a decade at least yeah is that. crazy everyone was getting wrecked dude. no one stopped drinking at all dude but. why that's one of the few things that's. ever been made like that that was. rescinded yeah I think and prohibition.

is the big lesson too it's the big. lesson also it's the rise of the Mafia. prohibitions the rise of the NASCAR that. came from it too though did it really. yeah those were cars that they souped up. to get away from Cops what yeah that's. the origins of Nar yeah Moonshiner son. damn yeah uh it is wild it is wild to. think at the end of prohibition they. drove and gave a cas a beer to the. president I think if they legalized. weed bring B drove.

Biden give Biden weed and he just snaps. out of it and he's like oh boy you know. I just been so foggy but now I'm getting. it how the [ __ ] did they let me be. president I don't even know where my. underwear are what the [ __ ] it's yeah. it's crazy man there's no way they can. get it they can't be serious about. running him again oh yeah he's going to. be the president again no yeah it's. going to be crazy they're just going to. keep him on testosterone and all and. people going to vote for him no matter. what dude for like he's flying dude he's.

fine it's going to be fun he's the best. so who's who's making that decision. though it's not him me me the government. calls me say what do you think Joe I say. yeah run him again let's see what's up. see how he does this could be that his. second term he could really be Landmark. that could be like historic he's going. to really come back around he's going to. make improvements oh yeah he's going to. whatever they're going to get him on the. right meds for sure they need to get him. on bounce. back he's going to build back better. they should just keep him alive forever.

start giving him like artificial body. parts and he'll just be our emperor. [Laughter]. Supreme I don't have any problems with. anything you just. said but I don't know I don't know what. we're doing we need guy we need someone. to inspire us man yeah I want an. inspirational president I'm G to get. pumped I'm G to have like I don't have a. picture of like my grandfather had JFK. and he put him on his wall in his. kitchen yeah I have no president to like. if only there was a good Kennedy out. there dude that's what I'm saying need. to get that boy up there you like Bobby.

yeah I love him man I want him to win so. [ __ ] bad doesn't look like he's going. to win why I want him to win I I want. him to win so bad it's like yeah dude I. love the Temple Owls I think this year. we're going to win the national title he. sent me this thing today no F Bobby on. OIC Tucker Carlson had this uh guy who. used to work for pharmaceutical company. on uh his show today or the episodes out. today and it's about a lot of it is. about o. about how many people are being. prescribed OIC they're handing it out.

like nothing too it's kind of wild it's. kind of wild because it's I think it's. it's going to be one of the most. profitable drugs ever do they know. what's going to happen to you after you. take it cuz people have been taking it I. got a feeling there's no way that works. that's what I'm dude people have been. taking it for a long time they're like. well we've used this for diabetes I felt. that way about literally every single I. know dude dude SSR like people were like. you you're depressed I was like yeah. dude. definitely they like take this like no. they're terrible they turned out to be. awful dude the withdrawal from those.

things are catastrophic people have. severe bio uh intestinal sort of things. happen with them with the if they have a. bad side effect gastrointestinal numbs. your genitals num you can get numb. genitals too Brian Simpson had a real. bad reaction to it really yeah real bad. that sucks Brian said yeah his stomach. was just. jacked but some people have it some. people is no problem at all yeah but. when you try to get off of them it's.

like you have like a headache and brain. zaps for like a month what what you want. one Jamie in a can zic burned off my. genitals I found pieces of charred skin. in the toilet maybe maybe some other. things are going on yeah true [ __ ]. OIC Is that real New York I mean New. York Post posted it um was Dr Maria's. [ __ ] fell. off oh my God she got severe burns and. charred skin on her vagina anus and.

buttocks owing to Once weekly Jabs she's. a professor of. pharmacology health and uh pharmacology. Health at the University of uh Texas Rio. Grand Valley pended testimony on her OIC. use to new so she's obviously very smart. yeah just OIC tow that psty up that's aw. oh my God she said I check my genitals. my boyfriend's name is. ozan that's just oan. [ __ ] rocked my anus my anus fell off.

I took a [ __ ] my anus fell off God damn. it she said some areas charred skin F. she said it was if she was exposed to. sunlight for days yo Jes she taking. those she's she's cuz everybody wants to. be skinny man yeah man she looks great. and dude everyone's on I know a lot of. people going on this stuff like bro can. you imagine no no I'm not talking about. this particular woman sure but if you. brought home a lady mhm and she had a. charred anus and. vagina you're like what happened I used. to be fat you'd go all right this is.

thin and hot now here's a picture of me. when I was 250 like whoa how'd you do. this oh. zic my butt fell off but things are fine. we could do other stuff yeah you do. mouth. [Laughter]. play my holes fell off my holes are r. holes fell off but it's fine are you. into mouth play mouth.

play sorry bro I know that's not great. but saying mouth play and hand play it's. so funny what a side effect what are you. [ __ ] Googl you do Jamie way I just. keep going down the article and the way. like still hurts and have to urinate or. defecate it often starts peeling again. because of the friction said the. Survivor they're calling her a Survivor. this might be the her lawyer might have. wrote all those on a very strict diet. not taking any medication at this moment. in time but this will change to few. weeks Ros add I want to heal before I. start again with any medication and due.

to the strict diet my level of glucose. is thankfully under control. friction she still supports it which is. nice she still laws the injections for. lowering her blood sugar well that's. what it's for right it's a diabetes drug. damn that's [ __ ] wild I think one of. the side effects is like stomach. paralysis or something like that she had. all of the side effects you guys just. said depression Gastro and gastro. problems I'd be depressed yeah yeah. that's dude that's [ __ ] up yeah it's a. weird thing man because it's like yeah.

you shouldn't be obese and I think it's. something like 50% of the country chain. speak on this speak on your people [ __ ]. you. Joe yeah it's rising it's going to be. did you lose any weight doing the. carnivore diet uh yeah the 12 days I did. it yes the 12 days you did that was an. easy one to fall yeah I mean I had. vicious diarrhea so [ __ ] that was it I. mean me and Matt crazy we both did it. with him it was it was [ __ ] crazy. astonishing right the [ __ ] my pants many.

I [ __ ] my boxers once I was in bed and I. [ __ ] my [ __ ] boxers a bow of Rush. yeah dude you hit it one diarrhea you go. all right I'm taking these little. Hershey Kiss something happens though. after a while your body figures it out. when I was 16 days in it took me about. two weeks I remember Tom sigura texting. me he said this diarrhea is astonishing. it is truly astonishing diarrhea it you. won't believe the diarhea I had water. was like black oil it was like oil water. but it didn't smell as bad it didn't. smell that bad though I don't know what. there was nothing water yeah yeah vegans.

will tell you it's all toxins really. your toxins coming out oh dude I I don't. I started missing big dumps your body. just dumps your back on the menu and. I'll tell you what I'm having the time. of my life dude I learned I'm a bit of a. size queen dude I didn't like those. little [ __ ] little Pebble dumps yeah. was I couldn't agree more you need to. get a [ __ ] large dump dude you should. e a lot of kale just a horse pie I got. some kale in the fridge R have a lot of. kale before you eat your food and you'll. have big meaty dump well that's I told.

myself I got off that you know yeah all. that roughage and fiber I told myself I. was like I'm just eat vegetables I got. off that diet and I pigged out so hard. and gained all the weight back right. away I was like cuz I was totally. disciplined on it I'm like all right. I'll add in veggies I'll be good and day. one off of it I was how did you feel. when you were on it I felt good I did. feel good I like a a little lethargic. the first couple days yeah the first. night we did. standup and I was like. I'm like out of it felt a but the keto. stuff I like the feeling but I I get.

like weeks into it I start feeling kind. of like loopy but I don't think I was. eating enough either I was like. I yeah you get you get sick of eating. meat so sick of meat they just don't eat. you like I made a rack of ribs and. looked at him and I was like I can't. dude I can't eat them I was so sick of. meat Day funny it was weird I have zero. problem having Lam mer Lam mer lives. with me now that was not helpful for the. diet like 2: a.m. it'd be like all right. I'm ordering pizza [ __ ] yeah. dude I was I was making pancakes in my. house in the morning for my kids just.

looking at them like [ __ ] Jesus it's. so weird how the most desirable foods. are all terrible for you I know the most. Desir like a plate of lasagna like smell. it like. a yeah ah a good pizza right out of the. oven like oh gee right when you're about. to take that bite and you feel that warm. cheese and the be H me and Lam mer ate. some Douro last night while we were. watching cops how was it [ __ ] rocked. [ __ ] so you get the Frozen [ __ ] I we. usually don't but you know what's the.

best fro what's the one that you could. cook from fro Douro is [ __ ] good is. it yes it was especially I mean if. you're eating Douro you're blacked out. true true now going well they kill more. those pizzas probably kill more people. from the [ __ ] nutritions on those. from the house fir you get black out and. put those things in the oven and pass. out all the time those like the leading. cause of death dud like. they kill whole blocks of Roos there's. for real there's no yes that has to.

happen nons we were close how many of. the people eating frozen pizzas are. drunk what's the percentage if you're. sober eating a frozen pizza you're a. [ __ ]. loser I'm I'll be on the record for that. it's just pedophiles eating them. pedophiles are sober eating frozen. P if you're not kind of lit when you eat. one of those you're a pedophile you. gotta be high as [ __ ] have you ever. tried to make your own pizza you ever do. the pizza oven thing I yeah I worked at. a restaurant we were doing that I'm not. good at it but now you have a nice yard.

like maybe you get a little pizza pizza. oven would be nice yeah guys I'm not. doing anything your culinary journey is. going Xbox until show see it's not that. hard I can see you with a l sauce thr. the fretch. mozzarel. basil in there I've accepted who I am. cook the Bud Light watching it cook. turning it dude cooking is a serious. great joy of Life learning how to cook. is a genuine great we got to get you. into making pizzas bro that's Joe you.

know that's the last thing I. need you can use like non- GMO organic. yeah get some Italy flour flour Straight. From Italy with no [ __ ] herbicides in. it n I'm going to I'm going to I'm going. to play Xbox in door Dash Chipotle and. then go to the show that's it wow that's. my schedule every day that's a solid. option [ __ ] the show's in 8 hours [ __ ]. so soon I have just cutting into all my. doing nothing are you ready to get back.

onto our workout routine I am I've been. hitting you up I've been like bro I need. you you came here once I need you though. yeah you need help I need someone to go. you have to do it this when you tell me. if you're like I can't make it today I'm. literally I'm waking up looking at my. phone going I really like working out. you guys but I also really like working. out by myself going nuts yeah yeah it's. just for me it's like it's a good time. where there's no nothing going on just. me doing the routine you've been working. out yeah of course you [ __ ] what. are you talking about I always work out. I never I'm not going to ever stop.

you've been saying I can't work out. today and you're working out couldn't do. certain things I hurt my back for a. little bit wasn't bad though it was a. muscle pull it was wasn't anything to do. with the spine I was I'm trying I was. doing this new exercise and it was doing. a little too heavy and I tweaked. something but it was like a couple weeks. later it was fine now it's full I am. ready to get back though I need it yeah. let's go okay all right yeah no slackers. yeah I need it Brian Simpson likes to. leave early oh I got a meeting Brian. Simpson always has a meeting something.

he's got a meeting at 1 every [ __ ]. every [ __ ] time we work out he gets. that one hour Dan is the best dude the. dud he literally he gets out six he's. like oh [ __ ] my. phone like dude you're such a. [ __ ] I got to take a piss yeah I'll. take a. whz I don't I was like I'll take a whz. right now take a whz go take a whz talk. to Lu thank. you don't I won't blow it dude I'll be.

cool don't bring up anybody in. particular I'll be cool I'll [ __ ]. kill you come on bro we're fine we're. not going to talk about. horses is see the Panic his face we're. talking about shooting horses. yeah they are [ __ ] impressive though. they're [ __ ] amazing man I have I no. idea where they were that I kind I kind. of knew but I don't think i' ever seen. one next to a regular horse before I did. not know they were that big either. they're dwarf in regular hor I'm scared. of horses man I got [ __ ] I got bucked. off of one when I was little oh no we. had like I grew up next to so I was one.

of six my cousins were one of 10 and my. my dad and my uncle bought like a piece. of land outside of Philadelphia like. it's like a rural area got built up now. but I grew up next to like 10 I had 10. cousins that we'd all just like [ __ ]. around there was behind it there was a. guy who rented land off of us he had. horses so I was always like we cut. through the horse place to get to the. woods and like dude they'll charge you. and [ __ ] they're scary yeah I'm still to. this day terrified of him we used to. ride him the one just went nuts and just. bucked me off and I was like [ __ ] this.

dude yeah I mean I get it I I think. riding them looks awesome but whenever. you're riding an animal like you're on. an animal like hanging on to an animal. is this necessary yeah and it's like. this kid beside like [ __ ] this guy and. this thing could kill me friend of mine. was uh in a um trail of horses where. they were going into uh like this uh. deep uh Mountain ELC cont. and one of the horses fell and broke its. leg and they had to shoot it right then. and there really yeah oh cuz they can't.

get it back basically they can't get it. back and they don't heal really yeah. they shoot horses damn I when the horses. break their leg they shoot them Jesus. yeah I didn't know they didn't heal they. don't heal yeah they never totally heal. and I think um there's probably you know. this was quite a few years ago there. probably methods that they use now do. they can they heal horses they. definitely can't run again like if it's. a race horse and they break their leg. that's they'll never run again but. killing horses yeah they had to shoot.

this horse my buddy was on this. Wilderness Trail and the horse. fell it snapped its leg and he blasted. in the head they had to shoot it you see. that at the RAC. track the horse breaks his leg they'll. bring out like a tarp on the track and. and hide it from the crowd and just then. it yeah wa that's hard I mean I don't. know how you know often there's still. that but that was that was just what. they did probably do yeah yeah bones. suck they break too easy yeah they break.

so easy they take so long to heal yeah. it's ridiculous such a [ __ ] design. that's why we have to accept the new. when we get AI when you you're going to. get a new body you're going to get some. titanium frame that' be sick when's that. stuff coming unlike humans horse has. heavy bones and light leg bones uh this. is the way heavy bodies rather and light. leg bones this is the way they've. developed many breeds especially the. thoroughbreds when bones break they may. often shatter and it's almost impossible.

to surgically reconstruct the fractured. leg while humans have some large muscles. and a bit of tissue below the knee that. help stabilize a broken bone along with. a cast a horse has very little muscle. and hardly any other tissue besides. tendons ligaments blood vessels and some. nerves below the knee oh wow the lack of. muscle and other tissue means that even. in a cast the broken bone has little to. support it and it's much harder to. prevent a horse from using its broken. leg to bear weight.

wow kill it so they have to shoot it got. to kill it yeah this arle says that. they've figured out some stuff but. that's that's why that that's been the. most common way to handle it compound. fractures where broken bone penetrates. the skin have a much poorer prognosis. and are less likely to heal successfully. without complication such cases are. likely to be EU euthanized particularly. if blood supply to the leg has been. compromised so it says repaired the less. complicated the the fracture the more. likely the horse will recover also there. are some that recover green stick and.

stress fractures are incomplete. fractures and these can usually be. treated successfully simple fractures. where there's one clean B break are more. likely to heal successfully than. shattered bones yeah you got to kill. them it stinks got to shoot them damn. you guys bringing up euth imagine. imagine tearing a ligament 500 years ago. you're dead yeah you mean even during. the Bob or days during the. the back in those days yeah Bobby or. used to work out at this gym that I. worked at when I was 19 that's awesome.

and he walked in and he he can't he. couldn't straighten his legs so he had. to walk with like legs permanently bent. and he would play like racka ball that's. one of his knees what the [ __ ] number. four bro they they just cut his knees. all all over the place oh man just. covered in scars back then man the. surgeries were terrible and the and you. didn't really recover yeah you're never. really the same again yeah if you if you. like pull your miniscus when you're like. a hunter gatherer they' just probably.

leave you probably [ __ ] yeah you just. walk through it you just dealt with pain. yeah true yeah maybe that too you just. dealt with excruciating pain forever. [ __ ] that sucks yeah if you were lucky. if you weren lucky get eaten by a Jaguar. yeah cat yeah cat [ __ ] snatches you. up by your neck drags you up a tree yeah. dude that was the majority of human. history was just brutal violent death. well that's why people day little kids. are scared of monsters yeah what.

experience do they have with monsters no. they know that represents animals that. will eat you represents Wolves yeah it's. instinctual yeah baby turtles are scared. of hawks that's what's going to happen. again in about four years what's going. to happen wolves wolves. everywhere no. electricity small packs of people isn't. that going to be kind of cool bed. together running out of BU everyone tell. me I think that would be goes down fck. no idea how bad it's going to be it's.

going to be bad but like dude you get. your juices here's the thing you're not. going to be like bored and like what's. the point I'm going to kiss you first of. all there will be no the GD goes down if. the power goes out of my house I'm. coming stra I'm going to your room get. in here I'm going to break down that. door I'm going to get a generator you. better I need one you better charge that. thing cuz I'm coming just imagine if. just maybe life stays exactly the same. they figure out a way to get us food. they figure out a way to get us gasoline. but there's no electricity you can drive. around but there's no electricity no.

social media no internet so the 80s just. imagine that right now imagine that. right now it' be nice but the world. would be in a [ __ ] turmoil no know. what to do oh yeah what do I do what's. real what's what's going on I got to. read the newspaper what yeah there's no. electricity so you can't even watch TV. there's no TV at all we should try it. for like a month have like the whole. country just go off for a month they. wouldn't even be able to do the. newspaper cuz they don't have the. machines to do the newspaper like they. used to do before the electricity so.

they wouldn't even have the newspaper. yeah well they're they're clamping down. on Facebook and stuff now again I think. they've been trying to like get them. forever oh yeah they were what are they. trying to do like the government's like. I I don't know what they're if it's like. a political PL if I would guess if I was. the government and I was looking at. social media I would say a couple things. one if you're protecting people the the. [ __ ] the thing that's valuable no no. one knew was valuable everybody. consented to give away their information. but nobody ever thought data was a.

commodity that had never been a thing in. human history the data was insanely. valuable and then the people who have. that data now with all that money have. this insane ability to to donate to what. are you doing Jamie showing you what. they're suing them for oh oh more than. 40 States and District of Columbia filed. lawsuits against meta the parent company. of Facebook Instagram and. WhatsApp the fa Facebook and Instagram. deliberately manipulate their apps in. ways to addict kids and teens and have. failed to keep them off despite age.

limits here's the thing. though why is it their responsibility. just like why is it pornhub's. responsibility to make sure that you're. 18 yeah if you have a kid it's supposed. to be your responsibility to see what. the kid's doing right but how are you. going to unless you have to use your ID. every time you sign up and they have to. verify your age they do that in. Louisiana do they yeah I tried to back. off in Louisiana yeah Utah you can't. even get on Utah you can't even get on. yeah you can't get on the sites on Utah.

I found I found a site I mean you dig up. some OG sites.com you have to dig up. like the OG porn sites yeah yeah I had. to I had to dig deep and I'll tell you. what you go to those [ __ ] off thegrid. porn size you use a VPN no you should. use a VPN oh that's a good idea actually. yeah yeah you should use one that's a. great idea VPN easy one click it's a. sponsor easy to use the uh yeah you. could pretend you're in [ __ ] Hawaii. you could pretend you anywhere you want. oh do you think I can use it to bet.

somewhere else maybe not just um I don't. know I know that this is your. SP I'm going to use it to somewhere else. there are sponsor I know people have. used it to collect Pokemons I'm going to. look up all types of stuff to collect. Pokemon yeah they've collect Pokemons. and places where they weren't really. there I know people use vpns to uh. bypass countes like you know Netflix is. like United States Netflix you can go to. the UK Netflix you can go to you know.

Asian Netflix you can go to whatever you. want that's pretty cool yeah it's pretty. cool [ __ ] I think they're are sponsored. too actually yeah [ __ ] I love. them I'll never bet somewhere. else uh that's another thing that was. like impossible now it's everywhere. betting was impossible back in the day. yeah you had like [ __ ] 10 years ago. yeah it was my dad was. a everyone dude everyone had what am I. doing snitch on my [ __ ] dad nobody. almost you got yourself what the [ __ ] am.

I snitching on him for there was a whole. MMA organization that existed before um. betting went down and I think part of. their business model was betting yeah. was boow doog they had some big fights. they had Fedor fight for boow dog um J. mazal fought for them like some big. Fighters I think cha sunnon fought for. them and they they had fights like on a. beautiful beach in Costa Rica with like. hot ringard girls walking around and.

they had the fights outside with like. world class Fighters damn fighting. outside yeah crazy yeah some one and I. think I'm pretty sure that was the the. business model was about. gambling that makes sense I saw it come. in England had it before us I watched. soccer and like soccer teams jerseys. would have just like bet.com. yeah yeah so it's coming there was. another thing the international pool. tour they had the similar situation this. big like multi 00,000 like 300 $400,000.

for the winners for these tournaments. which is huge for pool players but it. was all about online gambling and then. the online gambling they killed that. they put the kabash on that really yeah. they [ __ ] up everything for just. telling people what they can and can't. gamble on so it's like my same feeling. about like this meta thing it's like I. get it yeah the algorithms are designed. to keep you engaged but they keep you. engaged with what you're interested in. that's the thing it's like they're. saying they're they're shoving you uh. only news from one source and yeah but.

that's not their responsibility I don't. think to provide they're not a a news. distributor if you're only into qinon. they're going to send you [ __ ] qinon. [ __ ] q and on you're going to get a lot. of Q and on something happen I mean I'm. sure we've talked about something. happened with the algorithm lately. what's going on all these I don't know I. mean it's oh with the violent stuff all. this stuff oh god with that stuff I. don't I don't get it. doesn't come to me I'll start sending. you oh I'll send it to you I'll put you. on the the one to me and sigura on I.

don't want to see that one oh my God. seura have has done that to me like. twice do every day we do it every day. the second you see Arabic in the [ __ ]. description of the video the C I'm like. I'm. not bro no I've seen so many people get. shot really I don't oh my God over the. last month I've probably seen a hundred. people get shot no [ __ ] Factory. workers multiple times a day oh factory. workers getting. horrible oh you're seeing the industrial. accidents oh my God you crazy indust.

buildings falling on people falling on. them people sliding in a scooter under a. truck getting dragged by the truck. everything you name it guys getting cut. in half by trains their buddies pulling. the. arms ints are hanging out yeah no. there's so much just like he threw his. friend under the bus and he fell over. and over again L people are doing that. on Instagram with horrible [ __ ] last.

night we were like he was like oh no. like as soon as I was like I as soon as. I got in the club I was like I need. security footage and then he was like oh. no everyone's going to see me fall and I. was like I'm doing Rogan tomorrow he was. like oh. no I was like 10 million people at. least it adds to his charm though yeah. that's what I was telling him I was like. the he's the funniest guy ever everybody. [ __ ] their pants and everybody Fallen. exactly yeah I [ __ ] my pants just last. week thought I was going to fart in my. house I felt it come out wet I was like.

you son of a b you sometimes that's kind. of nice though you can get a midday. shower I was on my way out the door oh. that's no I was on my way to do a. podcast oh [ __ ] my. pants damn. it rinse them off in the sink yeah I'm. usually good about shards I guess you. have to yeah yeah true I usually can. like sometimes I surprise myself I'm. like I definitely [ __ ] myself and I'm. like no I didn't one time coming home. and I farted one time I was coming home. from Fear Factor and I just I was.

fighting it I was fighting it was a. battle was a battle it was like oh God. it was cramp and I filled my pants I. mean filled I mean filled like where I. immediately felt it in my socks like. right away I was like oh good lord I. mean it it rocketed out of my [ __ ]. the the underwear was about as effective. as our border wall it went down my legs.

I felt in the back of my legs instantly. I was like oh Christ it was an explosion. I was holding it I was holding back as. long as I could you released it was like. hanging off of a bridge on a and you. realize you can't pull yourself up just. like go go that's it where were you how. far from in my car I do not remember I. just remember being in my car and just. loading on my SUV. seats Alexis Alexis SUV I just filled.

that front seat up [ __ ] how did you. clean that out what was the process I. took it to the car wash bro oh my I. cleaned it out myself and then I brought. it to the car wash to get it detailed I. didn't tell them I [ __ ] myself they do. they got that car like holy what the. [ __ ] what the. [ __ ] the Fear Factor guy just gave us a. shitty truck hopefully had leather seats. man leather seats oh yeah they were. leather good thank God that's good for. dumps cloth a lot better than cloth bro.

it gets in that foam I'm saying it never. comes out do in your foam you got to cut. that foam out dude if someone throws up. in your car it smells forever you got to. burn it and say oh caught on fire and. bring it to the dealership I not [ __ ]. myself I did definitely didn't [ __ ]. myself but I caught my front seat on. fire [ __ ] my friend [ __ ] himself at work. when we work together and he drove home. like sneakily to like change his pants. we were like younger too we're in high. SCH school and his mom was outside and. she was like what are you doing he's. like I [ __ ] my pants and she made him.

get undressed and host them off. outside oh my God so [ __ ]. embarrassing oh my yeah it's as. embarrassing as a guest dud getting. hosed by your mom CU you [ __ ] your bants. your mom's clean up your [ __ ] he said. like Garden H he was pulling into the. driveway on it to make it blast. [Laughter]. just really focusing cleaning on you got. to. just just stand there I know Mom hose.

water's [ __ ]. freeing it's cold he said he was in his. driveway saw his house and it just lost. he's like I lost it dude at the at the. goal line just the goal line breaks his. leg like a Clyde's. deal at the Go I mean that is where it. gets you the second you I was even I. wasn't even close to my house I drove I. drove with the windows down smelling my. own [ __ ] for a solid 25 minutes god.

dude like what was going through your. head though like did you accept it were. you like this is unacceptable I [ __ ]. myself I'm like what are you going to do. dude I I had ruthless diarrhea whatever. the hell was going on yeah you sick yeah. it must have been I don't remember I. just I all I remember is that feeling. the feeling of like knowing you're going. to lose yeah you know I have to tap out. I don't want black and I feel it yeah it. feels so good though dude to just be. like was horrible just give in and be.

like [ __ ] if I had made it to the toilet. it would have been amazing dude it would. have been one of the greatest victories. of my career Matt gave me uh a bunch of. like micro do mushrooms oh yeah took. more than I should and I was just on a. walk I was like I just have a nice walk. around New York dude I got like two. blocks away and I was like my stomach. just went and I was like oh no dude I. sprinted him. I sprinted up Tommy was downstairs and. heard me run up the steps and he was. like what the [ __ ] was that I've got.

some great victories in my [ __ ]. career too that was one of the big when. you get to the ball. like the key works at the front door. you're like yes yes you you keep those. muscles tight till you get to the bowl. and you're wonder you're quivering when. you're pulling your pants down God you. know I don't know if I'm going to make. it dude your teeth get all weird at the. buzzer. the three-pointers in the air game time. dude I got I got jammed in an Uber on. the way to the airport it was like 6:00.

in the morning and it just all of a. sudden on the way I was like oh [ __ ] and. I had like 20 minutes and I was in the. lady's car like sitting on one Ash cheek. it was so bad I had like my ass up and I. was just letting out these like any fart. could have and I was like I wanted to. tell like I'm sorry I was [ __ ] I was. farting in the back of her car I God it. had to released pressure and you're. sitting sideways she looks back did you. say sorry. no she looks back at your. launching I was at Terminal sideways.

launch position I was at Terminal C and. I'm like Terminal A is fine cuz I like. where you going to I was like oh. Terminal C and I got there I'm like. Terminal A is fine damn you jump at the. airport at the at the entrance where all. the homeless people go in cuz anyone can. get in I made it and I sat down I saw. there was no toilet paper and I went. [ __ ] it and I had to just let it out and. luckily dude I went in my school bag and. my wife gave me packet of Kleenex I saw. him put her in my bag like weeks ago I'm. like I'm leave that [ __ ] [ __ ] in my. bag she threw it in my bag and I went. what an angel pulled the kleenex out. wipe my ass.

inition woman's touch after using these. robot toilets to clean your butt I get. sad when I have to just wipe it cuz I. know it's gross it sucks dude WIP your. it's gross you're just smearing [ __ ] all. over yourself all the way up you're like. rubbing it to the point where you look. at the tissue and it's reasonable that's. reasonable yeah oh [ __ ] my ass itches. yeah it's like the bday are so nice I. got to put one on so nice I bought one. from my old house and I try to connect. it and the [ __ ] water sprayed.

everywhere so I got to hire a. professional yeah hire somebody yeah I. got to get a b day it's so nice dude in. the [ __ ] bathroom in the comedy club. oh yeah it's nice we didn't have one for. while there dud sh in the one I [ __ ]. every time I do stand I have I can't. help it there's a button that says. defecate you ever hit that button yes. brother I hit all the buttons really. that's a pipe cleaner I haven't dumped. there I don't think bro dude um what. does it say North America through the. 1700s people were still wiping whatever. they had on hand oh yeah most common. things were corn cobs and seashells PA.

on the. cornells they scraped their [ __ ] with. seashells by the 1800s paper was. becoming more widely available yeah. magally in 1857 a New Yorker named. Joseph Gay introduced the first patented. toilet paper boss wow hero 187 1857 so. until 1857 everyone was the Romans clean. their behind that seems like a good. beats the [ __ ] out of stick yeah yeah a. lot of places in the world keep like a.

dish of water in the Middle East you. keep a dish of water above your toilet. and use one hand to like splash water on. your ass. huh a wiping a Tor interes I think. that's the move the move is the sponge. cuz if you use the sponge then you can. clean the sponge off yeah you can reuse. it it's. green you throw the sponge away Jamie. yeah there just like a pile of sponges. in the toilet you clean your sponge pce. of [ __ ] Spong with everybody gets one. sponge it goes with your voter ID SE.

sponge go get another one you can go to. put it on the end of a spear you hold it. in your hand like a gentleman they would. get old though stick it's like you're. buffing like when you're buffing your. hood just buff your [ __ ] with a a. sponge actually that is nice that seems. like a good move I thing that for a car. would feel great on. your so test a sponge you have a toilet. and right next to the toilet you got. like a basin and the water's flowing you. dunk your sponge in there clean it out. uhhuh it's a nice. sound water dripping in unless unless.

you just got a mess chunky thick the. shower frozen yogurt you're never. getting it out of the sponge it's deep. it's all over your ass cheeks you're. wiping your legs all the way up your. back it's dripping down your legs. now the [ __ ] did I do used and shared by. fellow butt wipers oh they were used and. shared you don't have your own of course. why would you have your own Jamie yeah. it's [ __ ] Rome dude visitor okay so. if one of the Fara visitors had. intestinal worms all the others would.

carry them home too without any. knowledge of how diseases spread the. overall Roman toilet setup could hardly. be called hygienic by modern standards. yeah you know they you know they test. they told me to test kids for worms they. said put a piece of Scotch tape on your. kid's butthole while it's sleeping and. the worms come out of the butthole at. night and they'll get St in the Scotch. tape what yeah I a doctor tell my wife. this today don't you have to like shine. a light on your kid's [ __ ] to see the. worms coming out at night they hopefully. well they want I heard that story they. want us to put Scotch tape on the bee.

hole Mayo Clinic says to do that tooing. an adhesive side of a piece of. transparent tape to skin around the anus. of the person you suspect as pinworms as. soon as the person awakens the eggs. stick to the tape when you tape take the. tape to your appointments the doctor. could look at pinworms or eggs under a. microscope interesting is that [ __ ]. crazy bro this is a crazy video of a. black bear his black bear is walking and. it's got worms it's got worms. giant one like. Garden like Garden noes hanging look.

look look look hanging out of his ass. how crazy is that his face he's like I. know dude this sucks this is. embarrassing the size of those worms. what must be going on in their gut oh my. God the worms must be getting most of. the food yeah oh that's so nasty if. they're making their way all the way out. through your [ __ ] that thick look at. that those thick covid vaccine like. ropes you know those blood clots you. find on.

Reddit that's what it looks like look at. the [ __ ] length of that thing look at. that one that one you just showed Jamie. I think video see but look at the length. oh my God look at the length of that. look at the worms behind him oh brother. that tree is not the answer man no. that's good though for now true imine. having no idea going get that bear. racking his nuts doing that it's pretty. great he has no idea what's going. subject from diarrhea and. worms bro that crazy that's terrible. that's crazy it's kind of sad you see.

that bear get hitting the nuts this one. yeah it's pretty wonderful this is great. this is one of the greatest videos. ever here we go gearing up what's he. doing scratching scratching man God. that's got to feel [ __ ]. awesome yeah look at him he's just. rubbing his back watch this is there any. other animal that does that oh. no oh he caught.

himself like look at him like oh my nuts. oh my nuts instantly just a dude as soon. as you got and it it took like a good 10. seconds to fully kick in on them they. are absolutely the coolest animal yeah. they're they're the coolest Grizzly. would kill would kill a gorilla dude. yeah I think so really yeah bro it's a. hot take I'm tired of these people say. gorillas would [ __ ] up a Grizzly yeah. how that's crazy Grizzlies are [ __ ]. they're huge they they're 40 m they run.

40 m hour well there's different. types different types Mountain Grizzlies. and then there's a coastal brown bears. which are the same species but they have. much more access to protein they're just. eating salmon all day and moose those. things are giant damn look how fast they. are [ __ ] they run so fast but more. importantly in oh my God believe it or. not like John donaher and Lex Friedman. had a conversation about this that I saw. it was hilarious about who would win uh. a gorilla a bear a grizzly bear or a.

lion and what what he was Lion's getting. rocked right well bear easy no no. probably not really yeah probably. not no no I'm out yeah it's it's hard to. say I'm out it's hard to say lions are. pretty big you know a big a tiger a big. like siberian those really enormous. Tigers I watched I'm sorry to cut I. watched a sloth bear hold his own.

against a [ __ ] tiger recently that's. just a shitty sangy shitty bear those. are very. aggressive sloth bears are very. aggressive they kill a lot of people I. believe I've seen that was the first. time I met you I showed you a sloth bear. killing a man the day we met the first. time we did an open mik together I was. like yo check this out was the bear. eating it guy yeah show me a guy jump. off a building and I was like sick that. was a rough one this is a bear versus a. tiger this is actually very nice and. that's that sloth bear is defending its.

cub it's a very nice moment. dude yeah that's a small tiger and that. soft bear gets rocked and hangs in there. yeah damn they're tough dude they're. tough a Grizzly would go nuts on that. thing [ __ ] that maybe that size tiger. that's not a very big tiger it depends. on how big they are it's just thing. about Grizzlies and lions they're the. ones that have the giant Advantage CU. they kill [ __ ] all the time this is one. of the things that Don her said like. gorillas don't really kill anything yeah.

Silverbacks have canines they're just. for posturing yeah they're just like for. showing their fangs it's weird it's. weird that they have canines because. they don't kill any every other thing. that has canine's as big as a kills. things they just eat vegetables yeah. true yeah I wonder if they ever ate meat. a little well they well monkeys eat meat. at all monke do chimps do they eat me. chimps are very carnivorous chimps are. very carnivorous they eat a lot of meat. they eat a lot of monkeys a lot of. monkeys yeah they'll eat deers they eat. monkeys they eat everything they can. catch but they eat fruit if it's.

available they eat the fruit but really. what they want is monkeys that's their. favorite thing to eat damn yeah they. found out remember chimp David aten like. [ __ ] with those I had the director on. he said they didn't even show all the. chimps eating monkeys he's like so often. he was like it's their favorite thing to. do oh yeah look at the size of that cat. imagine that [ __ ] walks [ __ ]. dude Siberian versus bangal tigers it. said yeah that's a Siberian y good. Mo show the belly you guys like no. thanks I like that guy chilling look at.

like I I'm not even a of this he's just. walking around that cage like Francis. Ando get the [ __ ] out of my way damn. dude yeah so that thing against a. Grizzly yeah I don't know but Grizzlies. are [ __ ] insanely durable man the. thing about that they're designed to. fight a cat is not necessarily designed. to fight they're designed to kill things. Grizzlies fight each other all the time. and they fight for like 20 minutes and. they tear each other apart and they.

don't get hurt it's a good point it's. CRA their skin is so flexible and so. thick that they get just bit down on and. they're shaking each other and then they. just shake it off like nothing happened. yeah I'm still I'm I'm Grizzly on this. what's the. gorilla's possibility the thing is like. super strength yeah yeah just strong as. [ __ ] and smart the Gill is smart true. but they're going to get [ __ ] up. they're gonna get you taking a big cat. against a Grizz gorilla bro no I'm not. necessarily taking the big cat against a.

Grizzly but maybe because I don't think. um I don't think the big cat is used to. fighting Grizzlies fight so much like. they know how to. fight like I think it would know how to. hold the cat down those cats fight yeah. but I think they have to fight don't. they get killed they get killed more out. group that's true but Grizzlies fight. like every year yeah yeah Grizzlies are. out there they're like Tsing in their. Prime it's every two weeks in front of. each other I've seen bears figh in the.

wild it's wild yeah it's wild see it's. wild they just these bears were going at. it I was in Alberta and um the way they. hunt bears out there the the forest out. there is like a box of Q-tips like you. can't see [ __ ] you can't see [ __ ] so the. way they hunt bears they have a enormous. bear population it's like they're. infested with black bears they they. leave bait out and it's either like. donuts or or something sweet yeah and. then the Bears come to that so these. Bears know where it's one or they leave. a dead Beaver that's another thing they. leave so the Bears know like when the.

bait is there and so they'll decide like. who gets the bait or they'll decide that. a female's hot she's ready to have sex. and they'll fight over the female but I. watch these two dudes just go at it. just just just go at it like 30 yards. away from him like this is wild yeah. it's. wild yeah the black bears are prevalent. in like the Poconos in Pennsylvania. people like oh yeah they're kind of. they are D people like walk well I mean. they're kind of they're at least like. they don't [ __ ] with people yeah they. don't they run away until they do that's.

dude my neighbor when I was up there the. guy staying next to us was like I'll. walk down the driveway with him I'm like. dude you're out of your [ __ ] mind. fing I saw crazy Jamie there's a video. of I think it was a black bear getting. into a dude's cabin really and it's like. he's like there's no you can tell it's. just a bro he's like dude I think. there's something in the kitchen and. then he's like holy [ __ ] it's a bear. dude holy [ __ ] then it comes up the St. like it's I don't know. find that I sound like a dumb killed a. kid at ruter a few years back he got. killed by a black bear at ruter [ __ ] man.

yeah he was going to school of Ruckers. and New Jersey yeah the stret factory. New Jersey has the highest population of. bears per capita in the country what wow. yeah New Jersey does New Jersey state. when the the governor who's currently in. when he was running one of the things he. was running on is stopping the bear hunt. Chris Christie because people were upset. people were upset that people were. hunting bears like like the people that. live in Newark and in cities like what. are you doing hackin sack you're hunting. bears they they kept that law for two. years and then he's like forget it start.

hunting bears again so many bare. interactions with people they were going. up so high they. were [ __ ] up people's garbage cans. they come in in the Pok no you got to. lock your thing up cuz they come like. every Sunday they're. coming [ __ ] terrified deer I we my. family and I we got a house in the. Poconos and there the deer are. everywhere everywhere and they are. [ __ ] disgusting you got to shoot dude. we walk outside these just the most. mangy [ __ ] deer you've ever seen well. they also might have chronic wasting. disease they're [ __ ] up oh dude that's.

[ __ ] up my brother saw that they just. drowned themselves and stuff scary it's. a they call it like a zombie disease. it's a pron disease look at this bear. awesome that guy's just chilling no idea. oh said what the [ __ ] the [ __ ] is your. dude there's one there's an Asian lady. taking a nap and a bear comes over and. like starts sniffing her face oh my God. the thing about bears sorry black bears. if you get attacked by a black bear it's. more likely trying to eat you oh really. yeah if you get attacked by a grizzly. bear it's more likely you shocked It.

Like You Came near its Cubs that kind of. thing or might want to eat you too. that's possible too black bears it's. more likely they're trying to they're. just hungry. yeah Grizz man wasn't Grizzly Man there. when they started to get hungry isn't. that what happened yeah he stayed he. hung out don't be there that during that. season they yeah there there were bears. were so hungry they couldn't hibernate. they didn't have enough fat to hibernate. [ __ ] it was an old bear and he just. didn't have any food you know he got a.

good meal yeah he became a bear in the. end of it he became just sniffing this. lady that's a guy dude. sleep he wakes up a bear bear was. [ __ ] with his. shoe. bro yeah they you know they're cool you. just don't want a lot of them near you. yeah I don't want any of them they used. to eat them and not eat deer they eat. bears yeah the Pioneers like when they. first started establishing America they. would eat bear and they would use the.

deer for skins that's why a a dollar is. called a buck oh that was the amount of. money you can get for one deer skin what. yeah they didn't eat deer which is crazy. what beer taste like tastes good okay. it's closer to beef that's why oh you. know and so they were they were eating. bear and they were just using the deer. for skins I like to think of that though. the guys that got to North America and. ran into [ __ ]. Grizzlies like from Europe yo you're. like what well Europe has a lot of brown.

bears yeah yeah yeah Russia has some of. the craziest brown bears but Germany has. brown bears uh I think someone got. killed by a brown bear Germany has brown. bears pretty sure no way yeah not. anymore sure I don't know oh yeah I. guess they got those forests they got. there's there's bears in the forest in. in certain parts of Europe I know for. sure I know they have brown bears out. there yeah Lobster was like prison food. when it first came is that crazy yeah. Lobster they would like it was like. considered disgusting it was a bug they. found near the boats they feed it the.

prisoners they would get him out of the. East River and serve him to people at. bars it was bar food first bear in. Germany in 16 years okay yeah there it. is um the first wild bear in Germany 170. years okay that must have been what I. read but so are there bears in Spain is. that what it is are there brown bears in. Spain but there's definitely some Russia. has some crazy is in my brain what he. say I was like I'm like you know you. drink enough you start remembering. Spanish I was like Oho for a bear I.

think that might be bear it is nice. actually the new vodka yeah oh. really it's Bird's be Tom and BD have a. vodka it's called Oso por rosos oh what. a great name hell yeah perfect I just. saw the ad and you said Oso I thought. you were talking about the Vodka itself. oh oh so I thought you were talking. about that dude who was the guru in Wild. Wild Country that guy ruled that guy. ruled everybody's rarded are [ __ ]. dude O is for the People by the people.

of the people but but the people are. [ __ ] are [ __ ] God damn it for. the [ __ ] of the [ __ ] by the. [ __ ] you're watching it you're like. damn this guy's a genius this is wow. this is going to be really insightful so. deep but the people are [ __ ] God. damn it dude there's something I would. say not smart he's right man I think. he's on it man. bro second language too look at him such. a g.

government. government by the. people think of being in this meeting. like of the people yeah for the. people but the people are. [ __ ] that's when you look next to. you and your friends like what wait a. minute think we might have [ __ ] B on. the wrong Guru man what are we doing. you're in full Lotus orange sweatsuit. like knowing that you gambled on the.

wrong Guru that's why I'm so glad I got. out of that first building that first. building I I bought a first building. before we bought the Mother Ship before. that spot it was I bought a place that. was owned by a cult a cult has a. documentary on it called holy hell yeah. oh Duncan told me that yeah he told me. you were in like a how was he still. kicking around the guys in Hawaii now. yeah really restarted he's a legend you. told me this guy's story this guy. [ __ ] rules guy's a legend so the guy. was a gay porn star and a hypnotist a.

dangerous combo dangerous comate combo. and a yoga instructor and beautiful. beautiful man like amazing physique. sixpack taught yoga and then but as he. got older he got creepy started getting. a lot of plastic surgery lost his. physique um and so the cult awareness. Network it was like right after Waco. cult awareness Network they're cracking. down all these Cults you know cuz Waco. pops off [ __ ] so this. [ __ ] says okay I'm going to move. to Austin and just to throw people off.

who might be thinking I'm running a cult. I'm going to have my followers build me. a theater so that I can dance in front. of them and that was the place that I. bought I bought that place it was going. to be my comedy club just a gay. hypnotist dancer well I found out about. it from Ron White Ron White's like you. should buy that theater that was owned. by the cult I played there once it's. [ __ ] awesome beautiful place I go. really goes oh yeah. [ __ ] Prett it's a really good you. know I'm just a giant I every time I.

talk to Ron White I I'm like I'm friends. with Ron White it's weird he's the manes. he might be the coolest dude possible. he's one of the greatest humans that's. ever walk I love that guy to death so. when he was telling me to buy the. building I was like I'm buying that. building it's for sale let's go and I. took him on the tour he's like yeah I. [ __ ] killed right. here so we all looked at it we brought. into Architects and everything there was. I mean we were in the the planning. stages they had like a significant issue. that wasn't addressed that had to be.

addressed and and I got out of it yeah. it's like buying a house and they're. like uh it's all it's haunted well. there's there was a lot of issues first. of all the people that there were not. construction people that made that place. but then on top of that um Adam egot. tells me about the documentary I did not. know about the documentary I just knew. Ron said yeah a cult owned it I'm like a. cult what normal stuff of flower people. they probably did yoga and grew squash. no no no no there's a lot of butt. [ __ ] dud getting dud getting they. were getting hypnotized and [ __ ] and.

then they had to pay they had to pay for. the therapy so he'd give them therapy. they'd have to pay 50 bucks and then he. would [ __ ]. them the idea of did it work oh yeah for. the guy yeah that's the thing the. patience that's the thing about the. documentary that's wild this guy was a. legitimate hypnotist right and he had. these people convinced that he could. give them his thing called the knowing. and the knowing was he would like place. his hands on you it would have to be the. right time the right moment but these. people to this day were saying it's the.

most amazing moment of their life it was. pure ecstasy they connected to God like. he through the power of. suggestion when he put his hands on them. they really did experience that thing so. he really did have that power W he. really really actually did if you're a. gullible person who's likely to join a. cult in the first place kind of a kind. of a sucker you're not skeptical you. believe this and then you find yourself. in the woods and you're on your knees. and this guy is over you and he puts his.

hands on your your your temples and they. would just go into full Bliss it's wild. because it's in the movie and they it. doesn't look like they're faking it it. looks like they're having this wild. Transcendent experience like someone. just gives them a full-on mushroom trip. just [ __ ] W just hits them with a. giant dose of acid damn and they're just. like and then they they talk about it. afterwards even they're talking [ __ ]. about him even afterwards like 20 years. later when they're talking [ __ ] about. him they talk about him they believed in. him so much he was yoke he beautiful he.

was beautiful he had a six-pack he was a. yoga instructor see he would give them. this thing man he would touch them in. the head and by the way some of them he. would hold it back from them he wouldn't. give it to them no no you're not ready. like no I'm ready and so they'd be. complaining for years you are not ready. oh man show that again show that again. he's thr people's mouths bro y look at. the side the way he's toss it sideway. now nice this is this is by the way this.

is later in life when he's getting a. little creepy looking so he starts. getting a bunch of plastic surgery and. weird [ __ ] to his face and his body kind. of falls apart but that was him dancing. that was him dancing at the One World. Theater what which was the place that I. was going to. buy that's it he he had them build a. theater so he could dance in front of. them I mean can you imagine seeing that. guy not hysterically. laughing well as he got older he just. started looking like real weird man like. real weird like look at him yeah but.

when he was young he was beautiful so. that's the the torment of youthful. Beauty you get older [ __ ] you become. a Monster yeah but even when he was. young it'd still be like if I saw a guy. like throw a fruit into some guy's mouth. like I'm out out he started throwing the. fruit later in life yeah he started get. bet he got a little cocky yeah he' been. running that call for a couple of that's. older ver version of the dude Chang his. name twice that [ __ ] hog though dude. what's this guy he's like a c sale he's. been stuffing in all those problem all.

those hungry mouths behind oh look at. him dude yeah look at that look at the. other guy guy mouth too like I don't. want look at you in the back he's like. oh my mouth oh I'm exper I probably said. to him I experienced it through you I. felt it I felt it the Ecstasy you had of. catching Master's fruit the gay butf. cult man that's tough man bro so they. found out because in the early a guy. left a guy left the cult and sent a mass. email like yo this guy's been.

hypnotizing me and butt [ __ ] me for. the past 10 years and then everybody. else in the swear to God he's [ __ ]. good at it they really didn't know how. many people he was doing that to yeah. and they all started sharing information. what yeah I mean he ran this thing for a. long time the thing they all say though. is in the beginning it was great in the. beginning of the cult they were just. having meals together. they're going on nature hikes doing yoga. together then as later I think as he got. older like he couldn't get as many guys.

so he needed to [ __ ] them yeah when you. get gross looking the only people. that'll [ __ ] you are the people that. think you're a master true you know when. you're young and hot. true tell you something Joe true I know. that's why I came to you he's out there. getting it he probably didn't need to. [ __ ] him in I do like the idea of being. in a cult like the Moment of clarity. where you're like oh so funny dude Waco. is so funny to think of a guy being in. there when they're like the feds are.

coming we've got to fight them off and. me and guy in the meeting like [ __ ] oh. no [ __ ] and if you leave they'll shoot. you yeah if you run out that door you're. going to get shot in the back you got to. run out in the middle of the night so. you got to you got to plan it out you. have a [ __ ] toothbrush and a pair of. underwear taped to your leg you got to. figure out how to get over the barb wire. you got to run out with a roll a carpet. you throw the roll of carpet over the. Bob wire you got it all planned you hear. crashh like where you going buddy oh god. oh Jesus Christ you.

hear and you feel the hot lead I heard a. lot of those North California growups. they had that thing triangle of. something on um yeah on Netflix I've. heard a long time ago they were like. that like people would hippie kids would. be like I'm going to go trim on this. guy's farm and it's like thinking it's. going to be like some cool hippie guy. but these are like country Northern. California criminals like hot young. hippie chicks running out there and. getting like drug and stuff it's like. well that's a documentary uh series. Sasquatch really was nice yeah very that. was cool very good documentary series.

it's about they they attributed a murder. to Bigfoot it said Bigfoot. kill that makes sense just was [ __ ]. Bigfoot dude imag how high you have to. be just be like oh [ __ ] bro Bigfoot. killed that broken and killed all the. cartel guys that was nut so it was so. remote and so Lawless that guys would. come in and steal people's crops and. they' Rob people and shoot people and so. it was like these guys started off as. hippies and then it became business that.

has to be how every like Lochness. Monster sasquad every single Monster was. definitely just a guy killing a guy and. be like. [ __ ] tro of Cabra came out of nowhere. back in the day yeah po. DNA monsters true that's a good idea. yeah also if you leave someone's body in. the woods like where there's like wild. pigs and animals they're going to eat. that body quick all you do is leave the. body for 24 hours and something's eating.

it a coyote's going to eat it I don't. remember if we talked about this no no I. haven't seen this was so funny love has. won the cult of mother God that's one of. the rare Cults run by a lady too right. yeah yo we we watched some of this it is. so funny there's a dude that shows up. and just dominates the cult like a dude. does a dude shows up and just ruins. everything there he was yeah she was. [ __ ] there he is he was the. boyfriend's a me of course he's a.

methhead yeah he's like gets out of. prison or whatever goes to this cult. amazing he's like he said he was out. raking leaves with all the community and. he just put his rake down and was like I. run this wow and he just immediately. started dominating everybody oh no. making them listen to heavy metal dude. he'd put heavy metal on and be like this. is power I'm power oh my God a dude. would get to [ __ ] this lady and then. he'd be like Father God and then this so. she had like three father gods and that. the methhead dude came through and.

discovering a mummified body laying in. an enshrined queen-sized bed wrapped in. a sleeping bag decorated with Christmas. lights they believe silver uh what's it. called what type of silver collidal. silver they were like that's going to. solve this so they were just crushing. this lady with silver while she was an. alcoholic oh my God and she started. turning blue as a 19 billion year old. deity Carlson claimed she could cure. cancer while also drinking herself into. Oblivion every. night what a wild lady wait till you see.

Wild bro I'm watching that tonight she's. got the galactics she's got she channels. she channels her deity I'm writing this. down that I'm a reminder to watch it's. so funny very funny love. right love has one love has one she. channels her uh they're called the. galactics it's a it's a collection of. people that I [ __ ] who knows spip. they have spaceships they're going to. pick her up uh the galactics are really. it's Robin Williams and Donald Trump. who's still alive they love Trump which.

is so funny they do love Trump and like. she's like uh anytime she gets hammered. she's like Robin Williams is channeling. himself through me that's why I'm being. mean to everybody she just get she no. she just get hammered and be like [ __ ]. you [ __ ] clean up all my [ __ ] then the. next day be like damn Robin Williams was. crazy last night I'm sorry that's. hilarious then she starts taking silver. in her cult believes her so much that. when she starts to be like I don't know. guys I think the silver might be killing. me they're like no the Silver's good.

you're God she's like I'm not God I'm. [ __ ]. hammered she's like I've been hammered. for 20 years is this silver is that the. same stuff that made that guy turn blue. remember he was on Oprah this is what. happened yeah did she turn blue as well. she turns blue at the end oh boy dude. what she look like at the end oh that oh. yeah oh man that's she wasn't that old. right she was attractive dude show her. before she was hot oh the silver the. silver W she was Jamie still watching. this on the sneak no no Jamie you like.

that meat. catch you that [ __ ] dog dude you. little tiny dog watching guys catch meat. I've closed up and. me she was very pretty she was pretty. look at that one that is that her too. yeah that's her LinkedIn wow LinkedIn. LinkedIn glad to see your business is. doing well yeah it just became a. business where they the money guy is. hilarious in it so she was running it. for a while till the methhead came along. she was so hot McDonald's manager to. leader wow she was a McDonald's manager.

she did it hey you can do it this. country yeah if you have a good idea and. you really work hard you can you from. rum and silver like a. pirate what the. [Laughter]. [ __ ] was she drinking bro she was. crushing [ __ ] she's hammered the whole. time and then her methhead boyfriend. shows up and he rules he does oh my God. he dominates everyone all the other guys. are [ __ ] and this dude shows up they.

all still believe though oh my God. that's such a dangerous thing this was. the guy look at that guy holy [ __ ] guy. super blue colloidal Ser Turns You Blue. wow he was a good looking guy before. that what the [ __ ] that's literally Papa. Smurf that is dude that's so crazy and. they can't turn that it looks like. William over decades it look like. William mon. looks a little like William the way he's. smiling if he was bald that's William. Montgomery I am going to take colloidal. silver Will Montgomery should do that.

for like Halloween I never blue face for. Halloween he might get tackled in the. street this. guy that guy had it. too. wow that stuff is in the uh Alex Jones. toothpaste colloidal silver yeah and the. Alex J I don't want to dis I don't want. to dismer his company too late dismer. him but. the C surfy was silver was in the to. toothpaste his dad's a dentist Alex. Jones's dad's a dentist yeah man you. listen you never listen to program there.

it is like there is super blue that's a. interesting. ad I got a piss I got a piss yeah I'll. okay Matt you C it by yourself I'll take. a break yeah take a break Jesus. Christ yes yes so much better feels good. dude yeah it's good to PE what's better. pee and or [ __ ] really better yeah just. something about a like a good one a good. one versus I mean think about a long. good whz hard both pretty good but a.

dump when you're holding a whz and you. get it it's it's what it is it's a it's. like a clitoral orgasm that's peeing. real hard and then dumping is like. having like a cervical orgasm if you I'm. just saying if you had to compare it to. something yeah that's one of those guys. like I st my toes just like child birth. there's wait there's [ __ ] cervical. orgasms dude don't I know what the [ __ ]. you know what you know what Nate L mer. [ __ ] me up on our friends were I was. talking to them and they were saying. dudes are now reviewing their dick side. like the dildo that's their dick size. and reading the reviews women leaves of.

the oh I'm not coming close to that I'm. not looking at you talk about negative. comments bro dude like my brain keeps. dumping it it comes up and I'm like I. just get one of those little. [ __ ] tiny little buzzers if they had. know zic for dick size yeah oh my God. and he gave you a bunch of side effects. side effects could be side effect could. be cancer anything diabetes BL guys. would just take diabetes medication have. a giant hog what if what if you only.

take you have to keep taking it like it. artificially inflates the size of your. dick for a limited time yeah like you. have to bang it every couple of days all. day every couple of days you got to bang. it it'd be so hard to not do that. everybody would do it if they do boy. that's the Holy Grail what I'm man what. the [ __ ] are they doing yeah what are. they doing they get all this [ __ ]. talking around [ __ ] flu vaccines [ __ ]. that dude fix my dick fix it I need. someone to fix this. it dude I can't for World Peace if.

everyone of the same size dong we might. enter the age of peace I swear to God or. be a bunch of big dick kings that might. be too much well in a place like China. isn't there like a giant difference. between the number of men versus the. number of women yeah you'd think they. would chill the [ __ ] out well why would. they just dudes balling out. angry yeah limited Supply oh so there's. more there's more dud you call China a. sausage party they had the one child. compl saage Fest right so it's just.

dudes oh they don't let the other yeah. they can have girls have dudes China's. killing us in math and science in 2023. there were around 720 million male. inhabitants and 689 female inhabitants. that's a big difference dude that sucks. that. sucks that suck wow there's 1.4 billion. people in China that's crazy. that's so many people they need to knock. that off too many too many people. bro what is it 690 and 720 is that what.

it was jery yeah no 720 and six yeah 6. yeah you said it yeah yeah so that's a. solid 30 million man that's a lot of. people we're getting conflicted reports. about China true you think they're. pumping up the numbers I don't know. what's going on dude in terms of what. conflicted I know are they killing us or. they a paper tiger what is it well the. thing that scares the [ __ ] out of me is. if they go into into Taiwan yeah yeah. and they seem to be saying that they. want to go into Taiwan well dude they're. going to have a population crisis in 30. years. going oh yeah yeah he's been he's.

thankfully he's on the ball the thing I. was worried about the thing I was. worried about with uh with Trump was you. know it was like if Trump gets elected. World War III will happen MH and then. thankfully we avoided that you know and. there's definitely no chance I know. that's all my that's my opinion that's. true isn't that funny though that like. anti-war used to be the left dude they. love it now used to be the left the left. was all anti-war the left we got to stop. the wars left was Jimmy Carter the left.

was yeah you know the wars it's the it's. like all right you have to be mindful of. like don't micro agress a lady at a job. and then it's like oh but shoot that. Russian guy between his [ __ ] eyes. it's like what dude it's like make sure. you get their name right at Starbucks I. saw a tweet Also let's use drones to. bomb Russians. a tweet where someone was. saying how many people that have ARS. could have sent those ARS to Ukraine to. fight the.

Russians definitely yeah you don't you. know how many do you know how many guns. are in America compared to the world but. that was the point they were saying you. don't need an AR you should send those. guns to like do you know what you're. saying yeah do you realize prev a. government Invasion yeah is that what. you're saying so you need to give up. your guns so that where somewhere that. is actually happening they can get guns. yeah yeah so that it can maybe happen. here if no one has guns dude my dad has. like six AR15s what he buys them anytime. like something bad happens or like.

they're taking him away he buys another. one what's he going to do they just. stock him up he needs one nah dude he's. got six him and his boy buy one every. time there's like a mass shooting he's. like let's get another AR nice he's like. they're going to take him so he's like. I'm trying to stock up so yeah [ __ ]. whatever like that's this going to be. worth money he brought a gun to my show. yeah I remember came to my comedy I I. was filming a and he came with a gun and. a knife and the security was like bro. you can't have the hawk and the gun on. you right now Jesus Christ had a hwk is. he open carrying yeah he just kind of no.

he had concealed he had it concealed and. then CU he was in Philly he's all bugged. out he's like heed to like they him and. his family the dads watch Fox News and. they're like we can't go into a city. yeah dude well they also die in any city. you'll die they had a trash company in. like the 80s too just like so like you. know yeah so they always had guns on. them so he's just used to like what. people stealing trash no but like if you. trash yard it was in Chester Chester is. like outside of Philadelphia and it's. like it's like a state of emergency the. murder rate's crazy and they were there. during the crack epidemic so you had. like a transfer station where you know.

there's money in and out of there so. yeah it was like nonstop of like copper. there all this other stuff and like they. would get like you get like tackled. coming in wow it was [ __ ] up damn you. got to keep the how do how did they find. the gun they didn't Pat him down he just. said I think they wanted him oh really I. think either at Helium I think so cuz. they got him really they wanted him at. Helium or they asked him I don't know. they might asked him might but they. don't ask anyone to come in maybe they. did maybe they I'll have to ask him cuz. I've seen I've seen guys before with the. wands maybe had the shoulder the [ __ ].

the leg holster like Clint Eastwood. straps he might had like. Nita tomb. raid I'll have to ask him I figur they. wanted him maybe they just could have. screamed it as soon as he walked in the. door [ __ ]. gun and I got a [ __ ] gun I was kind. of Pumped when I heard he was rolling. that strap to the show I was like. [ __ ] nice it is it is [ __ ] it is very. nice yeah it's also funny how much dads. are afraid of cities dude terrified they.

hate cities Fox News D Fox dude all day. they watch how terrible things are in. cities that's their only my dad won't go. to Harrisburg when you watch those going. when you watch those migrants jump those. cops and beat their ass and then they. got out of jail with no bail right away. that's trouble that is why but it. depends what you're they're tacing the. camera they Tupac the camera on the way. out yes I didn't see this yes apparently. those guys have fled and they got.

released or deported they got released. oh they just back out yeah bro they they. interviewed this one guy I was watching. this YouTube video what's happening in. these hotels this one guy's been there. for seven months and uh he said they. give him a nice hotel it's a nice room. he said it's real clean they give him. breakfast lunch and dinner every day and. he's an illegal immigrant yeah and then. there's people that are poor that are. like hey what about my family what about. me what about us Americans that live. here have always been here born and. raised here and people just sneak in and.

you're giving them all these things you. won't give us why are you doing this. this is crazy that's crazy is it like a. vote are they trying to like get new. voters or something I would imagine yes. yeah but they're not going to be down. with if ever meet like a dude from. they're doing it right now in New York. City in New York City they're allowing. illegal immigrants to vote this is. something they just is that true is that. absolutely true let's make sure because. this is a big statement but I'm pretty. sure that was one of the things that. they were trying to do they were trying. to make it so that these people could be. documented and this is what they keep. saying the the the way to deal with the.

undocumented people is find a pathway. for them to be documented sure that's. how we've always done it's legal. immigration now you might think legal. immigration is too restrictive okay but. you can't just let anybody in because. terrorists are a real thing this is not. like an imaginary it's not like Orcs. like we know terrorists are real and. they already CAU that one guy where they. ask the guy like who are you he goes. you'll know soon enough and then they. find out okay this guy's on a terrorist. watch list and made it into America what.

a dumbass yeah they're not going to vote. left though these people coming from. like South America and stuff are going. to like a lot of them will because those. those the people that got them in those. are the people that are giving them. money those are the people that are. giving them free food free place to. sleep wouldn't you vote for those people. especially all you want to do is get a. [ __ ] job and if you vote for these. people and these people goingon to allow. you to be documented you're going to be. able to get a job and then cons continue. to get social assistance which has been. pretty remarkable getting money and food. and a place to live why wouldn't you do. that yeah but then they'll work and.

they'll get on their own two feet and. they're super like they're pretty. conservative that's when it's time to. close the border once you get. established you go no else well they. they don't in California you know in. California that was what changed. California California when Reagan was in. office Reagan created a pathway for. illegal immigrants to become legal and. vote and when he did that the. Republicans never won California again. except for. Schwarzenegger you know what's. interesting uh you know what's.

interesting about like how like the left. has turned to kind of like warhawks yeah. the right has kind of turned to like. like your statement there about like how. about why don't we help Americans yeah. it's like now all of a sudden the. right's like Pro welfare yeah you know. what I mean it's like we should be. helping our people I know you know it's. just everything's kind of well there. people are waking up on both sides but. there's a lot of people that are. leftwing people that are like what the. [ __ ] is going on with all these wars. like what are we doing like this is not. something that we were supposed to be.

about and you know there's a lot of. people on the left that look at what's. going on in Gaza right now and they're. freaking out yeah so then there's that. turmoil give me a beer I'd like to talk. about. Gaza I like I like that I like that's a. quagmire the Gaza is a quagmire for the. left they were like it's funny that. America's like what are we doing in all. these wars it's like bro do you know who. we are yeah we do it's all we've ever. done start to finish yeah it's true day. one that's how you make a place like. this here's the thing I can find this is. not from this year this is from 2022 but.

this the only thing I could find yeah. Eric Adams that's is it this has to do. with uh local elections first of all. right and then people with green cards. and the DACA do anyone that's a DACA. which is the dreamers people who. dreamers people who are born here right. uh parents uh were brought into this. country illegal as children that's it. not born here rather Dre allowed to. remain yeah great does sound nice that's. all great but they are allowing people. that are not legal residents or that are. not uh legal citizens to vote right in.

New York elections yeah so that's all. you need to know so that's that's the. beginning so that's how you win the. election over and over no in the short. term that's how you control local. elections in New York yeah true I mean. that's it's a foolproof Playbook you. give people like way better treatment. than you give the people you that's the. same thing Osho did in Wild Wild Country. they bust in all those homeless people. and let them vote. remember they just brought in homeless. people from everywhere and said you're. going to be a part of our community and. these people like finally have a place.

to be and then once they vote they all. right get the [ __ ] out get the [ __ ] out. they kicked them all out again that. documentary is wi his books are good. though I've read a couple of his books. they're good he's a smart dude no he was. genius he really was he was brilant D. but he was also like you know driving. like you had like 13 Bentley and [ __ ]. that was just a lesson for us you can't. help yourself. going to get the Bentley why not but he. has so many of them I will say that once. you buy one nice car I've been on one I.

understand that what are you going to. get I don't know but no I'm not going to. buy another one but pickup truck son I'm. excited for my lease to run out so I can. get a n yeah switch it up about a. raptor shame I I'm too strikes me as an. SUV SUV guy for sure a raptor you ever. drive one yeah but I look this what I. look like I can't have a raptor how. about a TRX you can't play Xbox all day. and getting a raptor yes you can dude. dude gamer chairs customiz gamer chairs. in the car Raptor get a. TRX we'll see what's a TRX it's a ram.

that has 700 horsepower oh those things. are from Theory man those things are. kind of nuts I'll show you I have one. here do you really yeah I'll show you. it's pretty awesome I have a Hennessy. one that has 1,000 horsepower what yeah. it's ridiculous it's America that is. pretty sick remember we [ __ ] Tesla I. don't America America's the best. real D around that na mobile you you. need a goddamn America car that's it. right there look at that [ __ ] how's.

America cars are they like are we good. at making cars now that thing that. thing's the [ __ ] I love that thing I. love that I drive that all the time I. love it pickup would be nice actually. they're great pickup wildly expensive. speaking of Nazi mobiles yeah I went and. saw a Nazi movie by myself really last. Saturday night uh zone of Interest what. is that I don't know it's about owitz. it's I heard this is awesome it's all. right where they live next to the. conentration just it's just an ongoing.

like you're uncomfortable the whole time. but I did go see it by myself which is a. weird cuz like the movie people I saw at. a draft house so you have like a waiter. and the whole time they're like are. you Shane hey what's going on I was like. yeah I'm just here watching Nazis. alone doing exactly what you thought I'd. do on a Saturday night oh. it's on brand it's very uncomfortable. you watching this movie by yourself as. on brand I I enjoyed it but it's they're. right next to a concentration camp yeah. they're at Ood they're he's the oh and.

they're living good yeah wow nothing. happens though it's just unsettling for. 2 hours cool idea look at the building. they're in. yeah feeling you deserve the best in. life the wildest thing that most people. don't know about the Nazis is how many. we brought over here yeah operation pap. clip yeah get in here isn't Venezuela. one of those countries they have a. argen they have countries in Argent or. cities in Argentina where everybody's.

white everybody speak German Argentina's. entire soccer team is white dudes that's. [ __ ] wild like yo bro what do you. guys I was talking to someone guess it. is far enough South that you would be. white right maybe but also there's a lot. of Nazis went to Argentina definitely. yeah I mean Tim Kennedy had that TV show. Finding Hitler where there's there's. this conspiracy theory that Hitler moved. to Argentina what is this. Jamie this is the oh they were uh how.

they escaped the rat lines were systems. of Escape Routes for German Nazis and. other fascists fleeing Europe from 1945. onward in the aftermath of World War II. these Escape roads M mainly mainly LED. towards Havens in Latin America. particularly Argentina but also Paraguay. and Colombia Brazil Uruguay Mexico chile. Peru Guatemala Ecuador and Bolivia as. well as United States Canada Australia. Spain and Switzerland but a lot of them. in Argentina and the Catholic Church. helped them yeah they had this whole. thing about it um where they went to.

these towns they're wearing later hosen. starting in 1947 some us what does it. say the rat lines were supported by. clergy of the Catholic Church starting. in 1947 some us page needed that's not. true I mean it was a humanitarian they. love is humanitarian they loved. everybody. I love starting in 1947 some us. Intelligence Officers utilized existing. rat lines to move certain Nazi. strategists and scientists yeah like. wner Von Bron the head of Na the head of.

NASA yeah full-on Nazi good he's a Nazi. saying bring don't hang him I know what. you're saying let's get our [ __ ]. let's figure out space exp get a juice. of lemon then hold die juice of lemon. well they also were competing because a. bunch of them went to Russia as well. yeah ah see so Russia had some. scientists we had some other ones have. all the good nazzis not the on to make. missiles you got you can look past a few. things if you need to get a missile. quicker yeah true that's true yeah well. you have to you literally have to if.

these are the only guys that are making. Rockets God damn can you imagine if they. got the bomb. first us the Soviets got it it would be. rough negative we would have. invaded and the Soviet Union would be. funding us right now Mexico they made. UFOs and stu oh yeah yeah they made. flying saucers yeah see this is the type. of [ __ ] don't uh all the stuff it's like. bro they were struggling well they also. they also had a deep connection to the. occult I know but it's like weird ult.

[ __ ] the Nazis yeah cuz they were going. to kill themselves it was a suicide I. think there was also a lot of like evil. sentiment like they were they were. trying to win you know and they were. trying to there there's a lot of weird. [ __ ] like I don't want to I I don't. really know much about the Nazi occult. thing but I know it's like very well. documented they're heavily into the. occult it also to me it seems a little I. don't know it's like we attribute the. most evil [ __ ] ever to them I think they. were just a really really shitty country.

that was [ __ ] everything up like I. don't know I don't think we need to add. like they were satanists well they were. definitely cult but I mean there's other. countries that did horrible [ __ ] too. just what the Japanese did to the. Chinese and the rape of Nan King yeah. you read about some of that stuff. dude yeah I think it's just surprising. he like doing what horrific [ __ ] the. science experiments they would do they'. give people blood transfusions from. various animals and they would cut off. Limbs and reattach them they did trying. St figure out try [ __ ] out prisoners out.

they trying to figure it out no there's. a lot of like scientific and medical. Innovation that came out of that. unfortunately really yeah yeah what uh. what medical Innovation came out of the. Nazi experiments I think they like. learned some things unfortunately what. is it Simons what's the company Bayon. beay be's out there bear did it yeah. that's right was getting rowdy yeah yeah. they they they tried some medication out. on like 15 people wasn't it like.

something like that they all died Joseph. mangle was the guy think you're talking. mango. was science experiment twins oh God. twins twin experiments yeah he'd be like. if I [ __ ] cut this Twin's head off. how are you. feeling [ __ ] idiot Jesus Christ dude. they didn't even know about germs that. was the there was the one guy who like. blew the whistle on I forget the guy's. name they have a St they were Germans of. course they. did the Nazis knew about germs but the. guy who like discovered them there was a.

hospital attached to where they. delivered uh they were like a morg and. then they had where they're delivering. babies so they would like put down a. dead body and then just catch a baby out. of a woman's vagina and like women were. all dying and he was telling the doctors. like you guys got to wash there's. something on those dead bodies that's. getting into women's like vaginas. they're all like dude we're doctors our. hands are clean we're gentlemen and then. they the guy eventually like went nuts. and then like few years later like oh. [ __ ] he was right cuz he was washing his. hands and mortality rate went down like.

yeah who was that [ __ ] I forget his name. that was way before World War II though. way way way before not well in World War. I Fritz hober figured out how to make. gas to kill people with gas and he's the. same guy who figured out how to pull. nitrogen out of the air so at the same. time this guy is being wanted for war. crimes at the same time is being. nominated for the Nobel Prize. what yeah for being for pulling yeah. well the no bells are all weird too they. were like dynamite makers and stuff they. because the guy who told Peter Berg told.

me about that so the guy died and they. thought he died there was a fake story. about him dying and they called him like. The Merchant of death and he's like oh. geez I got to change my reputation so he. started giving out prizes oh nice that's. what he did the Nobel Prize he h his own. funeral he hued his funeral and they. were like this guy is a [ __ ] [ __ ]. nuh he's like pretty nice he started. that whole thing up that's crazy started. the Nobel Prize tring to cover his. tracks kind of worked everyone's like he. must be the nicest smartest scientist. ever nobody even knows about the whole.

Dynamite thing in Nobody Does it work. never gets brought up it's like oh the. Nobel Prize how prestigious did you ever. get into the guy who invented diesel no. there's a book about him his shit's wild. dude what did he do his name it was like. Rudolph diesel he came up with the. diesel engine and it was like apparently. it helped he wanted to like make a small. reliable engine so like people in rural. areas could compete with like cities and. people could live in a farm and still. like produce stuff and not have to like. live in like [ __ ] up London smoggy. city and governments we're like yeah. we're building [ __ ] weapons to death.

of these things and like it turned out. to be like a it was a wild invention. like no other nothing could burn stuff. as um efficiently before like it would. it would capture like 25% of the fuel. diesel was like 70% capture in terms of. like output and it was just it was. completely revolutionary and they it was. just found drowned oh they killed him oh. yeah it was like the kid vilhelm I think. was after him he made all these. governments 1913 just in time rock. Rockefellers just in time for the worst. thing ever he disappeared from the. steamship Dresden while traveling from.

Anor Belgium to Harwich England on. October 10 a Belgian sailor aboard a. Northeast steamer spotted a body. floating in the water upon further. investigation turned out the body was. diesels there was in remains a great. deal of mystery surrounding his death it. was officially judged a suicide but many. people believed and still believe that. diesel was murdered duh he had the. Rockefellers after them too cuz they. were they didn't want to cuz they got. they started I said like I looked at it. go oh it's the History Channel it's got. to be legit then I realized that's. Ancient Aliens that's the History. Channel is basically the Ancient Aliens.

Network out dude. I with facts we're done with fact is in. history fting Bigfoot yeah probably. Ancient Aliens had me for a while. Ancient Aliens caring that Network it's. a fun show to watch it's constantly on. remember um what's his [ __ ] name. Action Bronson he would get bited dude. that was. watch na aliens that was a really great. show that was for real like a genius. idea brilliant idea it's actually not I. thought it was no of course it is it is.

but I'm saying Prett simple one it's. like we should film this they were. definitely getting high watching Ancient. Aliens first they like set up a camera. this is incredible it's just such a good. idea because it requires nothing they. would just walk around high they would. [ __ ] around anci aliens it's hilarious. one of solid. show [ __ ] criminals B it wasn't even. dominated true oh you had Bronson on. this yeah a couple times yeah he's. awesome I love that dude I lived in. Queens I wanted to see him he's great.

guy him he's great guy turns out Queens. is big and you don't see everyone that. guy [ __ ] you know he turned his whole. life around had a kid and realized I'm. fat I got to get in shape and now he's. like like super Stout Paul works out. hard man he works out hard he Paul Wald. Paul Wald did the same thing oh he used. to be big right yeah he got in shape as. well yeah turn his life around turn. thought about rocking a grill mat dude. you've been talking about this you've. been talking about this I think it's we. get grills for protect our Parks I think. obviously that's the move dude it'd be. so hard to take him out it'll be really.

hard never take him out [ __ ] like this. learn how to. talk you ever heard guys with grills. talk it's it's a rough one Paul Wall. knows how to do it but he's had a grill. in his mouth for 30 years whole life. yeah I want to get the Fang I want to. get the Riff ra Fang kind of Cl he it's. kind of classy bro if you get like if. you don't pig out on the grill come on. like that look at that come on nice man. it's crazy how much he looks like Mike. rain called Johnny. Dang yeah I want always smiling if he's. depressed I will be so sad cuz he's. always smiling he's got to show you that.

Grill look at that he's got to show you. what to. do come on son what it do baby Pow. Wow Southern rap rules so [ __ ] tight. dude yeah he still raps too apparently. oh yeah he pull I think he's with. Mexican OT and the guy we listening to. on the way over here really plug big X. the plug the plug [ __ ] rocked Joe you'd. like that do you think you'd wear a. grill I would I swear to God I will now. obviously I'm not going to wear it. anywhere other than you think blood.

light would have an issue with you. rocking a grill maybe I'm might get a. phone call and they go hey this is not. on brand they would love no they got. [ __ ] post Malone I can kind of do. anything oh that's right post Malone. they're going to let you let that's what. I always think I'm like man maybe I. shouldn't do this I'm like yeah they got. post Malone yeah you can do whatever you. want yeah that's why they want you yeah. wild card. say guys let me [ __ ]. work I'm GNA do what I do I'm going to. talk about. Nazis they go please don't that was my.

favorite part of the the I know the. Budweiser tour were in there and they're. like showing the the labels from every. year in the United States and then 1930. came around and it was like perfect. English Budweiser it used to be like. German like yeah yeah yeah 1933 they're. like Budweiser American Budweiser the. beer. American ader Bush owned the rights to. all the diesel engines in America but. those are good Americans yeah let's go. dude Bush rules they owned all the.

rights the guy what was it [ __ ] not. uh Dolphus Bush whatever the like the OG. do BU Dolphus Bush went over adus by the. way adus exactly full name super. American dude no that's a good American. story he went over he met the diesel guy. and he was like dare you dude it's a. great American story he would he would. rent hotels and just rent the whole. thing out and just hand everyone like. $10 $10 $10 met up with diesel and was. like how much do you want for the rights. of this engine diesel was people were. Char it was like 800,000 Franks he.

looked at Bush and was like 2 million. Franks and he was like no problem player. wrote him the check and he used to break. he would write him it took forever Bush. might be the guy it took forever it took. forever to like it didn't work right. away he was like like they all these. guys fronted him a ton of money and like. it just wasn't working so he get like. mad letters from people being like I. what is this and Bush would break his. balls you send him letters and be like. dude come on man what the [ __ ] just like. [ __ ] with him so funny uh he was the.

bro that reminds me of uh that reminds. me of uh ulyses S Grant when he was like. selling his biography I think he sold it. to like just two guys on a train for. like 10 bucks really and Mark Twain. found out about it was like no you. [ __ ]. loser yeah obviously Grant was he was. hitting the [ __ ] buttweiser. he's hitting the stoies and [ __ ] Li. he was drinking responsible he was he. was extremely responsible that's one of. his. Legends I think he sold his biography on.

like a train for like 10 bucks while he. was. responsible I mean it's got to be pumped. if it's just it was his first book it. anyone gives you anything that you write. you're like I swear to God it was Mark. Twain that was like no yeah what the. [ __ ] are you doing you saved America why. are you doing this has anybody started. taking down ulys as Grant statues yet. they [ __ ] better not no way. he was the. Bro his story he was good right they. they've taken down Thomas Jefferson they. took down Jefferson Jefferson was yeah. he was he was up to no good he had him.

yeah ulses did Ulisses owned slaves he. no no hold on oh yeah but while he was. dead broke at the lowest point of his. life he freed his slaves and even his. slaves were like bro you should yeah. what are you doing yeah yeah you sell us. and he's like no bro Bros actually. there's no way they said that but yeah. they were like thank you yeah so he. freed them when he was poor had while he. was poor he gave away his slave he he. came from a family that was abolitionist.

and then he married into a family that. had slaves whoa yeah and slaves then he. he would go out and like work with his. slave like and people would like see him. be like what the [ __ ] are you doing I. don't know he was kind of a weirdo but. freed his slaves while he was poor. imagine be time where it was debatable. whether or not it's cool to have slaves. bro and some people like no they like it. yeah I mean dude yeah the century. company was willing to give Grant 10% of. all sales after the book was finished.

when Twain heard about the offer he was. appalled at how little money grant would. get from the sales of the book he. believed he could offer Grant a better. deal Twain wasted little time making his. way to New York City to convince grant. that he could give him a better deal. when Twain arrived at his home on 66th. Street Grant and his eldest son. Frederick T grant were reading over the. century company's contract that needed. to be signed before publication Grant. was ready to pick up his pen and sign. the contract when Twain asked if he. could read it before any signature was. made Twain reviewed the contract and.

believed the 10% royalty being offered. was too low and even exploitative Twain. tried to convince grant that he could. give him a better deal which would. provide Grant with more money grant was. reluctant to back out of the contract. that he and the Publishers had. negotiated he believed it would be. dishonorable to back out after giving. his word damn Twain tried to convince. grant that he should investigate a. different public for example American. publishing company had published many of. Twain's books and the company be able to. bring in more profit than the century. company Grant was still resistant to the. advice when Fred suggested that the.

contract be set aside while they. investigated the facts behind Twain's. advice Grant felt loyalty towards the. sensy company because of the work that. he had done with company while he was. writing his articles on the Civil War. battles Grant did agree however to. listen to Fred and the contract was set. aside for 24 hours huh interesting. Twain told Grant that by selling the. book through a subscription system the. book would produce thousands of dollars. in sales door too salesmen often Civil. War veterans would promote the book and.

get potential readers to place an order. prior to publication oh. wow that was like the new mixtape it. saved grant grant was poor and then that. saved him all those sales made him rich. but he died right away yeah those dudes. used to speak right after oh really. probably celebrated with booze no no it. was it was the stoies dude oh was it. he's always smoking a cigar he died yeah. cancer yeah he was smoking like 50 well. how much was day like 50 a day dude 50. something like that 25 definitely yeah.

it's a crazy number sounds like Ron. White really puts him down cigarettes. put him down puts those little. cigarillos down oh yeah he gets you. hooked on those things those cigarillos. they're so easy Do you inhale those like. cigarettes or they cigars really Jesus. Christ remember bees bees bees were a. little thing when we were younger they. so them at like gas stations and like. they were like I don't know they were. like cigarettes but they looked like. cigar they were smaller and they were. the harshest [ __ ] things in the world. I got Black and Milds for a while black. and Miles with wine wood tip black and.

Miles damn Play I Was inhaling the [ __ ]. out of those I got so sick there it is. Little Bees bro those things are. crazy get some of those in the woods. when you were 10 dude so where are they. from where's that is that I don't know. maybe it's like in India kind of thing. looks like India yeah right yeah you and. your bro you're like 10 12 years old in. the woods with some bees dude it was. nice Health RIS and how to quit they're. not a safer alternative to traditional. cigarettes duh yeah.

no. Asia cigarette. made you can smoke these though as a. little cigar oh that's kind of nice if. you want a little like what I like them. for that's so enough to sit down on a. cigar a half an hour it's kind of tight. yeah you're not at a wedding where you. have to pretend to like cigars yeah you. go God damn I'm missing the whole. wedding it's 45 minutes shouts on I got. to get in there can't smoke a cigar with. my uncles these guys. [Laughter].

stink smoking. bats yeah we went down we smoked a. couple bats smoked a couple of bats boys. sober guys love smoking bats oh they do. cuz it's the one rush they can get I can. handle this I love smoking a stoy like a. man it's like n desperate to get [ __ ]. up I get trying anything take Xanax dude. don't do it rocking Z terrible dude. those things are awful yeah did do you. ever hear about the new snake venom. thing people are doing where you're like. it's called like kamboo where you go and.

they give I don't know if it like you. ingest a snake venom and like your eyes. puff up you start throwing up and. [ __ ] everywhere you get yeah you. don't get high from it at all you just. get violently afterwards apparently you. just feel like totally cleaned out or I. don't know what it is once you're not. sick no I swear you say like it kills. yeast like candida stuff in your body. who heavy metals who who says that my. brother I don't know swi swi that's. there's a in certain cultures that don't.

have psychedelics the writes a passage. often time are what's called an ordeal. poison oh yeah ordeal poison is like. something you go through it's like some. horrific thing that poisons you and then. when you're over like thank God that's. over you feel good cuz you just had a. near-death experience that makes sense. actually yeah it tricks your brain into. thinking you're dying probably you. probably release all these amazing chem. make you realize you should have been a. better. person I could have been so much dicer. [ __ ] I tell you what I didn't like I. tried an LSD micro do recently comp I I.

like the siloc cybin better man LSD. micro do just is Relentless it doesn't. you just it's constant all it's for like. six straight hours you feel like like. liquidy it's weird I don't know it was. it wasn't awful but I remember just. being like this is just never they got. to hurry up and make all that stuff. legal [ __ ] stop buying it from people. making it in bathtubs with a Grateful. Dead t-shirt on oh yeah every every time. sket I got this straight from the family. I was telling M I had some I had some. bathub [ __ ] mushrooms yesterday.

yesterday dude that's no I've never had. mushrooms like so it was like a. chocolate bar it was like all right they. were like four blocks is a gram okay so. I was like all right I'll have one. [ __ ] block I'm fine I was high in 15. minutes it was that fast dude they had. these analog that's musroom. making now well it's just they're not. making them in the same places where. they make aspirin true true knows who. the [ __ ] is making these things that's. what I'm saying dude and with even with.

the weed edibles dude they get they can. get gummies and get a distillate of like. a synthetic canab noid and you're just. eating like K2 or something well you're. definitely it's they're not regular like. like you get a 200 milligram once and. it's fine and then you get a 200. milligram and you're on Pluto like this. is not the same I would like I don't. think anybody's doing independent third. party testing of weed gummies no not at. all no the third party testing is. watching the other guy first who just. ate him and they go all right he's fine.

you've never seen anybody eat gummies. like Joey Diaz I had I was with him on a. plane once he had a panic attack in the. middle of the flight and he told me he. goes I had a panic attack in the middle. of the flight he goes but now I'm back. and he pops two more 250 milligrams each. two stars of death how does how he just. does it he likes being scared. it's fun when you're around him and. you're scared too it's fun that is kind. of fun really yeah it's fun you guys. both you guys like being scared no the. best is when the weed edible the weed. edible when it breaks it's the best [ __ ].

feeling yeah but it's like yeah but. that's what's the point of that the. release when you're just back to how you. were earlier yeah cuz it's like mundane. reality you're like you eat weed edibles. and you're like ah and then you get the. release you're like thank God yeah. you're back finally grateful for once in. my pathetic shitty life yeah it's a. little reality check it's all right I. makes you really thankful that you're. alive I understand that but people are. like I'm not like they're smoking weed. at like parties oh yeah for sure I don't. want to have that experience while I'm.

in public oh right and then come back. like during the party like just hang in. there Shane you'll be fine I get high a. lot I got high like SN get high all the. time my thing is you can a different. part of your mind where you go like yeah. but what if I didn't give into this. weird thought Loop and then you you like. don't give into it for 3 seconds [ __ ] I. give up so last night we were we left. the comedy club went we were out at uh a. bar I was like I'm I can't believe how. strong that mushroom was yeah I was like.

I'm hungry I haven't eaten all day I. went I ate a euro in the cold by myself. by a windy bench just. like I literally got up from the table. while we were all drinking and I was. like I got to go outside I left for 45. minutes. just and then came back I I fought it I. was like while I was eating the the hero. I was like I got to stop why am I being. a [ __ ] right now I'm going to plow. through this that's another [ __ ] I'm. going drink my way out of this there you.

go there you go Dolphus was like yes. [ __ ] no don't let the mushrooms consume. you power through it all. right Euro was a solid choice that is a. great it was big also it was very funny. so I left this bar and I was like I was. high on mushrooms enough to be like how. do I get food and then I was like man. that's so pathetic I'm in a city and I'm. like food how do you find food and then.

there was a flashing Euro light on like. it was one of those Street vendors and I. was like oh that's what those lights are. for is for dumb asses that are. like like a flashing light what they're. for yeah I was like it's a bug light for. a guy like me it's. like it's a bug Light total bug I went. and got zapped dude I was eating it was. cold as [ __ ] windy last night and. then I was like it it also sucks now. people know who I am a little so like.

the next guy was like looking at me I'm. in the cold by. myself bro this is a reoccurring theme. people at the movie theater see you by. yourself that was I like being by myself. but when someone you realiz that now. you're getting famous you realizing. that's a bit of an issue right yeah it's. uncomfortable I don't like it at all. yeah go in Disguise I hate it go how. hard it is for me to. disguise dude people can see me from my. lurched over. walk sitting on a bench by myself eating. a sandwich someone I that mustache that.

mustache is back so nice well mushrooms. now people are really getting into the. genetics of them like they're ramping. the strength of those things up well. there's some different. strains p and all that [ __ ] they're. [ __ ] wild man and you now it could be. like you can eat a gram of mushrooms it. could be a regular Grandma mushrooms or. it can be eight times stronger mhm so. it's like well this town is filled with. those psychedelic Adventure characters. yeah there's a lot of those here I got. hit literally last night yeah it was lot.

I thought that was going to be an easy. nice evening they're synthetics too now. so like if if you're running like a. giant op where you're selling all the. like you your grow might get [ __ ] up. you can order a chemical offline totally. legal you can order those offline all. you got to do is say research purposes. yes and you can get this powder that's. like similar to mushrooms you could just. put that into chocolates and that's what. I'm saying like the people who make. these is it is it psilocybin is it it's. a psilocybin like analog maybe so it's. like close oh really yeah and you could. put that in your stuff that you're.

selling I mean dude dirty you got to. think about it it's like that's the. problem with it being illegal exactly. you're not buy from Budweiser aneis Bush. sold their own mushrooms we solid. mushroom light aner bush like a mushroom. light brother you know how good would it. be we would be Vikings dude we would be. couldbe would change the whole culture. of the country you imagine if people. just like ubiquitous mushroom Muse. across the entire there' be a lot to. figure out there would be a lot of. mistakes where's food true it wouldn't.

be smooth it would take a long number. one food people would make some dope. food on mushrooms I Pizza you make on. mushrooms even pict you out there in. your backyard with your pizza oven with. your [ __ ] Ladle on mushrooms laying. down the. basil the dough would be impossible POS. oh you buy it you buy it buy it made you. buy the dough no yeah you buy the whole. thing you buy Douro you take mushrooms. you buy the whole thing and you make Lam. mer make it you know hold on you want to.

know the best part about how laam mer. makes Douro how he doesn't time it he's. like we're about three YouTube videos. away he's high as [ __ ] sitting behind me. like how long's this YouTube video we're. about two more YouTube videos away from. the he going off the smell probably he. can go off the the smell was strong and. I was I was like are you sure like this. is our one Douro in the house if this. [ __ ] up we're. [ __ ] oh my. God Jamie what is the best frozen pizza.

there's got to be like a [ __ ]. Mercedes of frozen pizzas what is it dep. you can get some local ones than the. cities you're at cuz they like they'll. make take and bakes they mom there's. like moms bake at home pizza that's a. big change that's nice but a local one. is the move that's the move you get like. just the actual Pizza they serve you. they do deep dish yeah Chicago does like. deep dish all those places that's the. move that's the [ __ ] move you're. actually making the real Pizza the last. yeah again you don't need you don't need. pizza in your house that's true cuz.

you're going to eat it you're going to. eat it day one true bro one night we. went over rollo's next to the club we. got like [ __ ] 10 giant pizzas the big. giant ones and just gave them to. everybody at the bar pizza rocks dude oh. so fast I knew I was eating garbage I. knew it was terrible for me I loved. every second of it and I powered through. I was fine yeah I mean if I know it's. not good for me but it's good for me. it's good for the soul occasionally let. loose yeah good for the soul that's what. you need 8020 roll bro 20% junk 80%.

clean you me Bud Light absolutely every. and then you need some [ __ ] carbs in. your life yeah it's like the snake venom. dudes [ __ ] whatever they call that. thing every now and then you want some. [ __ ] carbs in your life you want a. [ __ ] big bowl of spaghetti and. meatballs yes give it to me give me give. me give. me I get to get like pulled off dude the. homemade homemade spaghetti I get it. like pulled off the pot I'll [ __ ] I'll. put myself in a coma with a good Sunday.

sauce you know when they [ __ ] got. that sauce cooking all day just bubbling. up on the stove and the smells and it's. all the oils are on the top you got to. stir it and you see the sausage in there. and the brol and meatballs oh baby I. never never baby my mom cooks like a. [ __ ]. [ __ ] well we were jar sauce yeah we. were jar sauce houseold my grandmother. made everything from scratch the sauce.

the pasta she was she'd be on the. kitchen table with the flour the rolling. my grandma was. mean mine wasn't nice either she didn't. cook anything Irish houses are canned. sauce Irish houses are smooth canned. sauce that's that spaghetti's cooked in. 5 seconds and then you just ground beef. you get wet lasagna. lasag is soaking wet the last piece is. in a bottle it falls apart yeah what is. this hard meatballs my mom would just. take hamburger meat you're supposed to.

like ve pork it was just a burger and. then she would put breadcrumbs in it too. like that's how my dad liked them so she. would just cram like a [ __ ] baseball. siiz Burger Dro it Dro it into canned. sauce and we were like yes this [ __ ]. rules I know I've been talking about a. lot with you Hamburger Helper bro. hamburger hel was delicious we got I got. I got to have hamburger helpers soon. it's very good maybe tonight maybe me. and L will bro have you drunk a solid. chili like a real CH chil oh like a real. one oh man and by the way I like beans.

chili with beans is a good move what are. you shaking your head at over here they. say chili don't [ __ ] with beans I'll eat. them in chili I don't [ __ ] with beans. either but in chili I'll eat them the. texture on my they're like. poy with [ __ ] peppers and the. tomatoes in there CH I'll eat them. on top of it I like them and chili but a. solid chili you like baked beans [ __ ] no. oh my god dude I lived off just I. remember I was eating baked beans as my. only meal for several years you eating.

like the dentist the Menace bad guy dude. proba but with barbecue like little. baked beans with barbecue I don't [ __ ]. with beans either man I'm God only in. chili or in soup I don't like like beans. at a this is crap what you're saying. it's true I don't like the powdery. texture in my nice texture you like. something more smooth visc viscous salty. I know what you like uh like clams and. stuff yeah nut. oyers I love eating.

nut yeah I bet nut if I was into it I. bet nut's [ __ ] good probably if. you're really interested especially if. you get into it you know different like. years different types of dudes if I had. one pasta it would be Linguini with. white clam sauce that's a good one done. well yeah when it's done really well oh. my God [ __ ] good oh it's good the. clams you got in there SP the olive oil. food is food is the did it right they do. a lot right they do a lot they make cars. good they look good they don't run good.

they look good they break a lot true. they look good they true they're good at. paintings good at sculptures good at not. good at handling a wave of an upper. respiratory infection though yeah they. did [ __ ] crushed they they scared the. [ __ ] out of the whole world too yeah. everybody's like oh my God that's coming. to us they're all in their Apartments. singing out the windows. they got [ __ ] yelling at people to go. outside yeah they were the first to lock. people down too they were like what the. [ __ ] is going on here well they said in. the fashion week I think they had like. the people come in from like China and.

stuff in the fashion week and they you. got an entire population that never has. seen a. vitamin they drinking wine every day. they all smoke cigarettes they're eating. nothing but lasagna they're eating pasta. and by the way they're a lot thinner. than us though that's what's crazy yeah. such carb heavy food over there and they. they look great it's cuz they're not. yeah but they don't Munch like us I I. even in Spain I was in Spain everything. you eat is Mediterranean like that yeah. yeah they take it easy yeah I was over. there house and [ __ ] what do you think.

it is you think we're just Glutton is. that what a lot of it is maybe on this. guy that tuck acrossing thing they were. saying uh this this scientist that he. had on or this guy that he had on that. used to work for the pharmacy was saying. that 10% of all food stamps the number. one thing that people buy with food. stamps is. soda yeah not a good well soda is so. good it's so good I don't I really don't. drink it ever but I don't either but a. ice cold Coca-Cola on ice like a real. coke burger fries Coke crazy a real coke.

root beer not a Diet Coke I love Diet. Coke just for the flavor I don't but I. feel fine when I drink a Diet Coke and. never makes me feel weird when I drink a. Coke my body's like what are you doing. dude there's a lot of people who for. real don't understand how sugar works at. all like I used to work with guys that. would put 12 sugars in their coffee. and then I'd be like dude you're going. to get diabetes and they're like it runs. in my family if I'm going to get it I'm. going to get it and I'm like no no no no. no there's two types of it bro and like. you're going to get it like you're going. to have that if you put 12 sugars every.

day in your coffee he's like bro if it. comes from me it comes from me I'm like. no man well that was number one of the. number one reasons why people died of co. uh finding show that number one. purchased number one purchased by snap. households are soft drinks which. accounted for 5% of the dollars they. spent on food wow okay so this guy was. saying it was 10% but but apparently. this this is saying that it's 5% it. might have changed but people drink a. lot of [ __ ] soda this is this is 2016. it said that down there 2017 it might I.

mean I'm sure it's more look it's so. goddamn addictive I get it though if. you're on food. stamps yeah you're let it ride bro yeah. why would I drink water right now you. want to get out of there you don't want. to be on food stamps forever drink water. it's cheaper you know a good way to get. all food stamps eat food but get a job. no what. Ascend to the next life yeah oh that's. it that's the only way no. Jesus I was on food stamp I was cross. soda called a day did you ever see when. guys carry around a personal two ler.

Jesus yeah that's a wild move I've seen. dudes do that's a that's a crazy. commitment to bad Health yeah you hold. it around walk around carrying a jug of. sugar water to be fair it's also the. like top purchase of non snap households. also oh yeah I'm sure sure what's his. like milk is number one oh no soft. drinks well snap household so it's more. it's more with uh the people that are on. food stamps than it is with people who. aren't which is interesting oh quite a. bit more 4% to 5% yeah yeah they're also.

they're taking more than yeah more than. 5% s is taking a hard hit too A lot of. people are just off it like I don't. think so really I think it's [ __ ]. it's fine yeah I mean it's love it. people love it they can't help but they. lie they lie they say they don't drink. it drinking it all day [ __ ] touch it. I don't drink soda at all now I drink. diet coke I drink Diet Coke and diet Dr. Pepper I'll drink those but you know. what I really like is Zas Zas are like. guilt-free Coke guilt-free soda rather. Zia is it's sweetened with stevia that's.

the only artificial sweet I can have all. the other ones I'm like dude it's. [ __ ] good they make a cream soda it's. [ __ ] great they make a root beer it's. [ __ ] great a grape soda it's great. Zia is great it's really good Che and. it's basically guilt-free it's just it's. just carbonated water with some Stevia. in it and some funky flavors it's not. bad what does Stevia what does Zia use. for their flavors I drink it all the. time dude adct to it no don't say that. is son of a [ __ ] the secret ingredient.

is cancer doesn't Diet Coke [ __ ] you up. though I I think I'm sure it does if. you're a [ __ ] I don't know Donald Trump. trump dog's crushing 40 a day going to. be a president he's going to be 90 when. he's 80 you don't tell him to stop. drinking diod you say ride that [ __ ]. boat right into the Rocks yeah. yeah damn like that's I like that that's. the argument against Biden I I to me. obviously there's there's no argument. Trump's more cognitive than Joe Biden of. course but it's not like he's he's no.

spring chicken he's going to be [ __ ]. geed up himself the Republicans wanted. the best spokesman it's vake yeah dude. that guy's an animal smooth dude I was. just praising him on the way here I've. been watching him on The Breakfast Club. so good he's so composed and he's only. 38 which is what you want you want. someone to act a. I'm going to leave my mark bang you know. you don't want that I like him man the. more I watch of him the more I like him. I like him a lot I like Bobby dude I. like Bobby's my top choice but V is V.

says a lot of very very reasonable [ __ ]. he does you hear his thing on abortion. what he say if you if you're a man and. you procreate with a woman you're. responsible financially for that baby. and that woman like he would expand his. thing is to expand child support to like. the woman and the baby would 18 years. and he was like I think that brings both. kind of wait what he was saying if you. get a lady pregnant you got to pay for. both of them oh yeah cuz he was like the. woman has to Bear the biological hold on. a second what about how women are equal. yeah V's not hold on a second not but.

but it's not an equal job there's not. equal responsibility it's not an equal. job fellas no I like that you guys want. to play double child support is that. what you guys are argu I think you. should well listen child support why. it's up to the woman's discretion how. she spends it anyway right yeah I mean. doesn't have to document that it's only. being spent on the child oh no they can. do whatever they want but yeah on. boyfriend a woman raising a child yeah. you could have paid for her and the. child and she's got boyfriend I'm punch.

for in these you think think twice for. nothing in the I'm not thinking about VC. when I'm nothing in these hoes it's V my. bad it's not VI what like cake V Vine's. like rhymes with cake oh nice yeah it. took me a while too I I try ramaswami. try that Ram Swami I want president so. bad too he would be dope I want to dude. everyone's against Hindu presidents I'm. like dude we need to get some Hinduism. going some wild [ __ ] about like getting. rid of the CIA and get rid of the FBI. like bro yeah they're going to put you.

in a convertible. take like ah shouldn't we have a roof. here shouldn't the car have a roof no. just get in the back what are all those. men doing in the grassy know ah guy's. lifting up an umbrella that's weird yeah. I like him man [ __ ] he'll I mean dude I. think the future's bright I think we'll. get uh we'll get some nice that's um. that's so optimistic well you can't. [ __ ] really anymore people are going. to start expecting like if you're a. president in 10 years from now at least.

if you're not sitting down for a three-. hour long form people are going be like. [ __ ] this guy it's like that's like a. Shamwell guy it's like dude you can't. just do infomercials that is true that. is true they can sit and chop it up. Bobby Kennedy can sit and chop it up. yeah yeah it's going to start being like. I'm good they get mad at Bobby Kennedy I. love that guy so woo what what are they. mad at well it's always vaccines but. dude the vaccine it's not that. unreasonable there's an agitant in them. to evoke an immune response agitant. evoke.

yeah yeah and it used to be Mercury and. sometimes it's aluminum I'm sick of. these [ __ ] agitant it's uh it's a. real thing and it's it's wild how many. people are not willing to even look at. it as a possibility Rel cause a problem. with some fol became it's a religious. thing because if you're a full scientist. like your religious worldview is that. we're one day going to conquer the. mysteries of our existence via like. technological progress vaccines are a. big part of that so if you're like. they're definitely good but maybe. they're kind of [ __ ] us up it's.

things it's like most things they. absolutely do work yeah they absolutely. do work in in a lot of ways dude you can. die from Tylenol if I took too many. Tylenols my liver will shut down well. it's also different people have. different responses you know I can even. a zil nuts all day long you give them to. some people they drop dead exactly take. zic my [ __ ] [ __ ] will fall off yeah. you [ __ ]. charred [ __ ] Satan [ __ ] W imagine if. you're religious and your [ __ ] your. [ __ ] starts showing like Scorch signs. like as hell it's hell pulling at your. [ __ ] that makes sense cuz you're too. lazy to to put down.

[Laughter]. churros churros are good dude you. Disneyland Disneyland you smell that. churro stand oh I'm like I'm at. Disneyland I'm getting a [ __ ] churro. I'm getting churro and I'm getting a. turkey leg turkey legs turkey legs the. bomb turkey legs r best choice of food. probably filled with chemicals right but. that's probably not real smoke oh dude. they probably didn't really smoke that. turkey that was a headless turkey by the. way and like [ __ ] yeah dude bolab in.

Ukraine it's the best choice though. what's up with those biolabs in Ukraine. you want to feel good about your food. yeah what is up with those. biolabs oh they found a lot of them bro. what do you think we were doing over. there true I mean that's probably one of. the Reas like guys we got you we got you. cover your back hold on yeah dude settle. down what's barisma doing I don't know. anything yeah I don't know any it's. called going to come out I I I went into. uh wait who blew up the northstream. pipeline I don't even know I don't know. either there's all types of stuff I. don't even. know how the false Russia biolab story.

came to circulate among the US far right. let's go so is it false [ __ ] it. circulated among me hold on uh it was. allured and difficult to believe claim. the Ukraine was developing biological. weapons with the assistance of the US. government in fact the US assistance to. Ukrainian biological Labs has been. targeted at strengthening Public Health. measures both the US and Ukraine have. also signed a treaty vowing to never. produce or use biological weapons we. promise dude we funded. woan they're saying but this is they're.

saying us assistance to Ukrainian. biological Labs exists but has been. targeted at strengthening Public Health. measures so they do have biological Labs. there now by the way there's a long. history of biological warfare over there. that I was on this show called Joe Rogan. questions everything and one of the. things I did is I I interviewed this. former Soviet scientist and he's like. dude we had trenches filled with Anthrax. he goes there was all sorts of plans in. place that if anything went sideways. that they were going to figure out a way.

to poison Americans they were going I. mean it's a legitimate biological. weapons tactic is to develop but why. would you look if why would you think. that if we develop nuclear weapons we. develop hydrogen weapons we we develop. all these [ __ ] supersonic missiles we. wouldn't [ __ ] with viruses it's [ __ ]. [ __ ] that's crazy of course they we. do 100% we do that's what just that's. what just killed probably that's just. what killed a bunch of people it. probably had something to do with that. shut down our whole yeah they most.

certainly developed that in the lab that. has been established now they know they. literally know that the strain that came. out they were you sure the guy didn't. [ __ ] eat a bat and a pengin a pengin. you sure yeah the wet Market it's a wet. Market but I it's weird because that. became political wet Market was nice. though cuz then they filmed the wet. market and you're like yeah obviously. right but then the people on the left. wanted to believe it came from the wet. Market but you could like because the. people on the right were saying it's the.

China virus the it was a lab it was a. lab no that's a conspiracy stereotyp so. it became this so people argued as if. their side had a win like it has to be. the wet Market yeah because if it. doesn't then the the fascist win like. they had this crazy connection to the. source of a [ __ ] pandemic disease. dude I caught it and I was like I was. like this doesn't feel like anything. I've ever had before it was it was like. really wasn't that bad it was two days. fever but then like I was just hacking. up like it wasn't even mucus it was like. liquid I was like what the [ __ ] is this.

[ __ ] it was it was like me and my wife. were both like dude this feels like some. weird artificial something it felt bizar. everybody said that it felt alien it did. dude yeah it felt alien I think it was a. new this is a new type of being sick. yeah a new type of being sick yeah. champed though will you on did you take. vitamins or anything back. then yeah that's what I'm thinking I was. taking them most people that really got. hit hard they they more vitamin guy so I. was fine yeah yeah he was drinking. beer beer works well no it.

doesn't for the record responsible no it. doesn't you're a spokesman now you got. to be careful about your claim I'm very. very responsible it could you could [ __ ]. it out you could diarrhea it out it. actually what is this the penglin yeah. have you seen it looks [ __ ] delicious. is that that bastard thator man. [ __ ] you they curl up in a ball. yeah dude it's just they armadillo. they're armored man you can't even cut. that [ __ ] look how cool they are God. that looks like it belongs a million. years ago doesn't it it's a good guy. what a cool looking animal [ __ ] that.

thing's wild looking Joe what's your. favorite animal if I had one that I'd. love to look at have an answer if I had. one i' love to look at for me it's. always primates always disagree if I. could find one animal that I would. disagree more that one animal that I. could go check out yeah would be the. Bondo ape compared to a riverter. yeah are cute you like watching they. [ __ ] each other up you ever see River. Wars they. fight gang comes after another gang they. [ __ ] do youever see you ever see.

monkeys see magic tricks no that's fun. is it dudes go to the zoo and do magic. tricks the monkeys are. go really every time they act dude it's. always an the monkey acts like he's not. watching bro you just stuff your snot. rag right back in your pocket it's like. a hany dude you're a man handkerchief. man show it to the monkey you're fully. anill dude you're look at the monkey bro. look at the monkey the monkey freaked. out show that again Jamie show that. again Watch this check it out dude see. what what they do it every single time.

they. go it's like oh [ __ ] this is crazy. that's amazing there it is now you see. it now you don't look at him he's like. this is amazing oh it's so [ __ ] funny. that makes sense why I like magic so. much yeah magic rules yeah it's awesome. it is crazy you go but if there's one. animal that I can go see it's called the. Bondo ape it's an enormous chimpanzee. that lives in one specific area of the.

Congo that they used to think was. mythological but now they have tissue. samples they have skulls they have a. crested skull like a gorilla they nest. on the ground like gorillas and they're. huge they're like six like six feet tall. chimpanzees whoa yeah and the locals. have two different there's two different. types of chimps look at the size of them. damn yeah one one they call tree beaters. the other one they call lion killers. they cut that guy's throat what the [ __ ]. they shot him they shot him at an. airport yeah they shot him at an airport. yeah the these look at the size of the. oh that that looks like a gorilla to me. yeah that's a big boy that's a gorilla.

but is that that Bondo AP listen there's. a guy named Carl Arman who's a Swiss. wildlife photographer dedicated his life. find these things this is It's a. documented animal like they they know. it's a real thing now they have videos. of them they're really big chimpanzees. and they they don't don't think. necessarily it's a different species. they think it's like a different like. the cdale it's still a horse but it's. like a crazy big horse but there's this. one area called I think it's called. beely in the Congo that has this.

enormous enormous chimpanzee Dam yeah. that I would want to see that I don't. like chimpanzees no you didn't like. chimp Nation I did yeah I liked it but. there's twoo similar it's the human ears. that [ __ ] me up no other animal I've has. those it's unset I don't know some about. him I don't love they have evil eyes. dude you don't want to see a red panda. look at that arm the [ __ ] size of his. arm I would super proud to have J bring. up red pandas look at the size of his. arms look at his [ __ ] build man.

insane funny do to be built like that. look at him look at the size of him. that's ter I get it they do they do rule. they are funny I might just I might be. dogs dogs rule dogs Rule wolves wolves. in the wild being around wolves would be. Reda come. man so cute look at his little face oh. my. goodness oh my goodness honey BG honey. badger fun those are pretty dope yeah.

Badgers are the [ __ ] Badgers are awesome. Wolverines are cool Wolverines I just. love that they come in and tell. everybody get the [ __ ] out of everyone. everyone like what are you doing they. like go after like they attack like big. cats and big cats are like they attack. lions li like what the [ __ ] are you. doing [ __ ] off [ __ ] kill me 30 lb. [ __ ] off it's the funniest animal. possible just like you [ __ ] kill me. right now [ __ ] yeah there most. psycho animal for sure it's insane yeah. you sent me the video of them like going. at lions like what the [ __ ] and all the.

lions are like confused they'll like hit. it for a second one of them will get bit. they'll all run so [ __ ] funny yeah. love it they're so tough I I saw a. badger once in the middle of the road. and I got out to film it it started. walking towards me I ran right back to. [ __ ] go the [ __ ] you up dude look at. that Badger nothing this is nothing to. me what look at these Jaguars are trying. to kill him he's like [ __ ] off leave me. alone [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] are you doing. [ __ ] [ __ ] are you doing [ __ ] I'm bite.

your dick I'mma bite your dick he's. going right for the dick look the cat's. trying to kill him he's like nope you. can't kill me I was watching the thing. on him I think it's like [ __ ] off to. bite your dick he's going right for. dicks right it dicks they don't have. flight they don't have flight no it's. all fight it's they just go at you so. big animals are confused by it and they. seem. invulnerable. about oh and they're smart dude there. was one there's one video of this guy. that tried to keep one in captivity and. it kept building stuff to escape and he.

had to like he had to cut down trees he. had to hide everything cuz it just kept. getting out remember we saw the tasan. Devils they're so smart they're so. determined and they just get out to run. around and. fight I got to get out of here I got to. [ __ ] something up isn't it crazy that. nature made that and a. giraffe like Nature's like all. everything the whole all of it. everything grasshoppers let's go yeah. frogs Birds [ __ ] it it's buy God is. great dude God is great God made all.

types of [ __ ] I mean and it made. people to make films of it it's awesome. I bug out on like all the stuff that's. made I'm like dude this is crazy every. day it isra Universe planets it's. awesome when you see them fighting you. realize how goddamn vulnerable we are. we're so weak even like UFC fighters. like you see the like our skin is made. out of tissue paper we get cut all the. time dude all of our Veron organs are. right here it's all soft everything's. soft for real even like the elite of the. elite you know like you're talking about. Matt Hughes like that even that guy like.

against an animal he's just vulnerable. just nothing honey badger vers beehive. he doesn't [ __ ] about he doesn't give a. [ __ ] sting me [ __ ] breaks the entire. thing dude he's getting stung he's. getting stung he's getting mad he go. right back [ __ ] it ow he's getting stung. on his eyeballs everywhere so good H so. good look at his face what little psycho. eyes they have yeah you know we saw. Tasmanian devils in Australia and those. things are tasan devils [ __ ].

Ru that might be the favorite thing I've. ever seen is zo yeah they have. contagious cancer what yeah they have. her herpes or they have too it's like. it's a kind I thought it was too but. it's a kind of cancer that they get from. biting each other yeah they bite each. other in the face so much and they get. crazy face tears from contagious cancer. quala were fun quala are tight chyia. boys yeah they have chyia right yeahuh. everybody says that every time you hold. them they're like watch out they're real. you know what I'm until H you need to.

keep feeding them if you want to hold on. to them like you let go you stop feeding. it for a little while like hey. [ __ ] where's the food and it. changes what it is like yeah they get. nasty they we they yeah they're feeding. them [ __ ] the whole time to chill them. out probably drug them up a little too. have you heard of a drop bear a what a. drop bear what's a drop bear sounds like. it's awesome no it's it went around the. Internet it's like mean koalas but it. turns out we're dumb Americans and don't. know that's like a meme it's not real. there's a but it looks like there's a. bunch of facts about drop bears oh it's.

a fake bear it's a koala with its mouth. open yeah it's just it's not real but. it's they made it sound real so they. just have koalas with their mouths open. they say they're more aggressive koalas. or something Jamie saying they can fit. the head hum Head Drop from height to SI. 45 M 45 m they actually oh they fall. [ __ ] Fall Out Tree all the time yeah. they get [ __ ] up they get [ __ ] up. you know who doesn't get [ __ ] up. squirrels true squirrels fall from so. far dude they push each other out of.

trees when they're trying to [ __ ] they. push each other get out of here [ __ ]. yeah get out they're like really good at. falling hold on Jamie can you find a. video there's a koala that attacks a kid. and it's very funny oh no well it's just. an adorable koala running up and. everyone's like oh nice he just [ __ ]. him up just starts going out a kid yeah. they're little bears man at the end of. the day they little bears is look at him. oh oh he's just getting that kid oh my. God Leo and Stitch bro imagine that oh. you're a little kid and you get attacked.

by that little [ __ ] you up teddy bear. killed you probably thinks you're small. people are not people that's all dogs. are sometimes oh oh dogs think that. small people are animals he runs up it's. so funny [ __ ] him up just an adorable. animal I would have beat the [ __ ] out of. that that guy Cal he he handled a lot. better than the wrestling coach I would. have [ __ ] destroyed that koal yeah I. would have too dude I would haveed that. stomp it yeah the [ __ ] out of here guy. throwing raccoon when it attacks his St. fired up oh yeah it's wonderful you ever.

see the one with the ladies in the. backyard and the black bear is on the. fence and the her dogs are baring and. she pushes the [ __ ] bear off the. fence she pushes the bear Off the Wall. no it's like a young girl too she's like. 16 she's like get the [ __ ] out of here. she's like so enraged trying to keep. this one watch this this lady's trying. to keep her heard dogs alive so the bear. comes up he's on the fence there on the. wall there oh [ __ ] yeah so the dogs see. it and they go running oh with it Cub oh. with his cu.

no. oh oh oh at. herur look at this crazy lady she pushes. it right over the edge damn that lady's. wild that's a wild lady [ __ ] that's a. wild lady that lady's got balls W says. this is from Fox Orlando there's no way. that was in Florida was it 100% was oh. dude they have a lot of bears in Florida. Florida has a a large bear population. yeah someone got killed by a bear there. a few years ago damn her mothering.

instincts kicked in with their dogs man. some people don't play yeah man that. whole crew all the shitty dogs ran out. to fight she ran out to fight dude those. be what the [ __ ] all these losers are. fighting. me little. dogs they don't they don't [ __ ] around. like little dogs will attack they attack. everything they it's a very bad getting. oh wow yeah she's a kid gangster good. for her boys wrap this up yeah H yeah.

abely uh Matt chain secret podcast. available everywhere right thank you br. where is it that's everywhere awesome. yeah it's all over the place it's. awesome it's hilarious thank you man so. much my pleasure see you guys again you. rule see you bye everybody. [Music]. [Applause]. [Music].