Joe Rogan Experience #2090 - Bobby Lee
Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day. Joe Rogan podcast by. night. All day. Is there a theme song or what happens? No, just it's going. I made it. I'm here and it's just like. what a blessing. No, no, no. Let me let. me finish this. What a blessing. Over. the years, people on the internet were. like, "Why don't you do Rogan?" I was. like, I don't even know how. And I'm.
here now and I just feel so present and. I feel mindful and it's going to be a. great one. Anyway, thanks for having. here. You, too, man. Yeah, we talked about doing it [ __ ] a. thousand times. Thousand times. Yeah. And it never happened. People thought they like we had a. problem with each other. No, we know. In fact, here's the deal, Joe. Okay, Bobby. Not only do we not have a problem with. each other, right? You've been a real really big asset to. me over the years on the phone. Like. when I'm in trouble, you call and you're. so helpful and you've got me through a.
lot of like difficult situations. I love. you. So we're the opposite of trouble. We're. in a like family. Yes. That's how I feel. Yeah. But you know people but I just. didn't know how to do it. Well, I always said anytime you want to. do it and you were like, "Okay." And. that would be like. But there's no number. I don't know who. to who do I call. You call me. Oh, I didn't know who to call. This whole thing is literally booked on. my phone. Oh, it is? Yeah. Well, now I know. I have a guy um shout. out to my man Matt who I I uh contact.
when I want someone to get like if I. want to reach out like to Cat Williams. or something like that reach out to this. guy try to get him on and that's it and. then it get it all gets booked on my. phone. Wow. Well, no one know and no one's half. the battle. You know what they said? GI. Joe just said that. What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's that way. It's. like the whole thing. It's because like. I go to Tom's. Have you been to Tom's? Yours? Hell yeah. It's like they have a real production.
staff. There's all these people running. around with clipboards and it's like. I went to Bird's house the other day. He. had eight people behind computers. Yeah. Just typing away. I don't know what the. [ __ ] they're doing. Emailing. social media going crazy promoting arena. shows. Everyone's going nuts. Me? No. I don't want that in my life. Why would you don't need it? I don't want it. You have a white guy. Yeah. What do you mean? Just some average white guy. Not. offense, but you're not. You know, with all due respect, Jamie does take. the place of like at least two regular. people, if not three.
He's great, dude. How many people? I don't know. You tell me. I say at least two, maybe three. It. might Jamie might take the place of. three people. Wow. There. What are those? These are pouches. They're called. Copenhagens. Oh, okay. These little rogues. I like. these. Is it Is it tobacco? It's just nicotine. Yeah, this it's a pouch. Those are tobacco. Yeah, the tobacco spit. Yeah. And when when I get blisters, I. stop. Okay. When it burns through your cheek.
was telling me that. Yeah. Yeah. It made his gums recede. Yeah. Chewing. Yeah. But then when you take a break, they grow back. It's like it's like a. plant. Your gums. Like a little plant. Yeah. Yeah. You're trimming it. Yeah. Trim. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a bonsai. So when it Yeah. Like a bonsai. You get better gums that way. Yeah. But I quit smoking two years ago. So it's like, you know, that was tough. Was it. cigarettes? Yeah. Well, I did I quit drugs and um. cigarettes. Well, you went clean. You were clean for. a long time. 17 years. And then what was the first thing you.
did? Well, I relapsed twice. So after the 17. years, my dad died and you know he you. know I he died and then my mom goes. selfie. So, I took a selfie with my mom. and the family and my dad was dead. and I decided that was so weird that I. took a gummy. I brought one just in. case. How many milligrams. at that time? It was like 10 milligrams. Okay. But then I had other stuff in my mom's. house. You know what I mean? And I took the. rest. And then I went I I relapsed for. like 4 months. Then I got sober again.
And then when um things got crazy in my. life, I did it again. Mhm. What did you go with again? Did you go. with just weed? Weed and drinking. And um. it's fine at first. Like I remember like. taking edible going to Hawaii cuz I was. shooting Magnum PI or something. And. it's fun for like a couple of months, but then I just I overdo it. and it's like 24 hours a day and I'm. drinking 24 hours a day and then like. people are like Andrew, you know,
Santina was concerned like one time he. knocked on my hotel room and I walked. out. I had poo all over my body. Wa. Yeah. And I was in a blackout drunk. and he goes, "You had poo all over your. body.". That's a good friend. Did he clean you up? Yeah, he cleaned me up. You know what I. mean? He's like the best. He's the best. No, he was mad. You know. how he gets mad. Of course you're in [ __ ] You [ __ ]. bastard. You know what I mean? You're. covered in [ __ ] He didn't abandon you. like I would have. I don't think you would have. I probably would have. You would have cleaned it, but you would. have said clean up and then 10 minutes. I would have chucked you into the tub.
Yeah. Like a cold plunge. Yeah. Just hose you down. So it got bad. And then what happened. was um um Bob Sacket died. and then Louie died. And for some reason I was drinking and. doing and also when I was I was coughing. up blood. Oh, I have these chunks chunks of curdled. blood. Oh, right. Like a ball. And I I had. convinced myself that I had [ __ ]. cancer. Oh. And I and I always I go death comes in.
free. Not that I'm that big like those. guys, but in my mind it's like I'm next. Oh [ __ ] And I couldn't sleep. I. couldn't It was [ __ ] terrible. Oh, [ __ ]. But then I got sober and things are. fine. What was the blood? Did you ever find. out? Then I got an X-ray done and he's like, "It's fine." I just when I smoked so. much weed and cigarettes at the same. time. Oh my god. Your lungs bleed. That's so crazy. That chunks of blood would come out. Oh my god. That's. crazy. I would cough into it like a um. like a towel or something and I would. send it to my ex Kalila.
and. just the photo or the actual towel. Okay. Okay. Photo. Yeah. And I'd be like. I have cancer. Cuz if you send her the whole thing. that's like bio. that's weird. Oh really? I don't think so. No. I mean if you. thought you had like some crazy disease. like Ebola Oh my god. Did you see these. ladies in in Denver today? They took a. live Ebola vaccine. There's not even. Ebola cases here. It's only like. it's in Africa, right? But this doctor was encouraging people. to take this Ebola vaccine just in case.
Ebola hits. Why does everybody want to. freak me out? I know. Why does this lady want to freak me out. by taking this thing? Like, who knows. the [ __ ] is going to happen to you now? And why does everybody want to freak me. out at the [ __ ] possibility of some. new disease coming along and killing. everybody? But but Ebola's old school. It's a scary. hot zone. It liquefies your organs, right? Denver Health Medical Team. receives Ebola vaccine. The team became some of the first people. to receive the live Ebola vaccine for.
preventive measures in case of a future. outbreak. The first people. Oh my god. Wait a minute. Is it a new Is the Ebola. vaccine new? Did they not have a vaccine. before? And now they do. I don't I don't know what the [ __ ]. people. But back in the day when they had it, they just bomb a village, right? Or. That's a good question. What did they. What did they do? I don't know what they. did. I don't think it's that easy to spread. I think Ebola has to be spread by bodily. fluids, right? Yeah. Yeah. But they can fix that.
We had Chinese guys. A little bit of this, a little bit of. that. And look, now it flies through the. air. Oh man, if if it was like co. like that easy, we're [ __ ]. But that's that's what scares the [ __ ]. out of me, man. They keep talking about. it. These [ __ ] creeps at the World. Economic Forum, they all get together. and take talk about preparation for. disease X. They're calling it virus X or. disease X. They're scaring the [ __ ] out. of me. But do you think it's Let me cuz I don't.
know. Can I just ask you something? I. don't know. You know me. I don't know. much. Okay. About nothing, right? But you believe that it was like uh. man-made? Well, it was definitely man-made. Okay. Yeah. I wouldn't say definitely because. I'm not really an expert. Yeah. But every expert that I have talked to. that examined the virus itself, the the cleavage sites, the way it it it. skipped all like animal forms like you. can't find that virus out in the wild. and then all a sudden it made a leap to.
person. It apparently has all of the. earmarks of being engineered. Wow. This but this is something that they do. This is not like science fiction. Like, so when we say that, it's not like we're. just making up some story about some lab. where they're making viruses. No, no, they [ __ ] 100% absolutely do it. And. they lied about funding it. That was the. big thing with Fouchy and the NIH. They. lied about funding gain of function. research and Rand Paul grilled them. You.
could watch it on YouTube. And then they. lied about whether or not they f this. first of all was happening, whether or. not they were doing gain of function. research and whether or not they funded. it. It's they funded it through another. organization. So they fund another. organization. Another organization funds. the Wuhan lab. And there's a bunch of. labs. That's not the only lab. There's a. [ __ ] ton of them. I visited one with. Duncan. We went down to uh one in. Galveastston, Texas. It's [ __ ]. terrifying. And I don't know if they're. doing gain of function research there,
but I know they have some of the most. deadly viruses and diseases known to. man. All with these crazy ventilation. tubes and everyone's walking around. these hazmat suits and [ __ ] And they. let Duncan and I there. Why? Oh, and by the way, we hadn't slept. So Duncan and I, this is when we were. doing Joe Rogan Questions Everything for. Sci-Fi. Duncan and I, we uh flew. together. So we had to fly together to. go to Texas. And both of us got. barbecued. I mean, we took like 500.
mgram edibles and totally missed our. flight in the airport. We were just. talking for like hours like, "Oh my god, what time is it?" Like that bad. And they're like, "This flight's gone. The flight's gone." Like, "Oh no." So. the next flight we had to take place was. like 5:00 in the morning and it got us. there right before we were supposed to. film. So we literally stayed up all. night, flew. I think we got a hotel for 1 hour. I think we actually got a hotel for 1. hour. Yeah. And then we flew uh woke up in the. morning and I mean just got up got in.
the car rather and just went straight to. this lab. So we're delirious. We're. still probably high. and we're in this crazy. biolab where they have Ebola. They have. everything. They have You name it, they've got it. Everything that kills. everybody and it's it's all like these. big thick plexiglass walls like oh my. god. It was freaking me out. Wow. And me and Doug were both like, "Oh my. god, dude. Are you in a suit, too? Are you in a. suit?". No, no, no, no, no. We only went into. like the administrative offices. We did.
They did not let us onto the floor. We. didn't go anywhere near any diseases. They just let us through the But the. doctor scared the [ __ ] out of me because. what he was saying to me is he cuz our. our spe our piece was all on boweapons. And one of the things that I intro. interviewed this guy who was uh formerly. from the Soviet Union, I believe it was. Soviet, it might have been Ukraine. I. think it was Soviet Union. And uh when. he left, he was saying that they at one.
point in time had literal vats of. anthrax. Just like like a a giant. [ __ ] swimming pool filled with. anthrax. He said they had so much of it. It's so. that like boweapons were a big part of. the strategy. Like if everything goes. [ __ ] if we just decide to start. killing each other, if we decide to. start nuking each other, that was one of. the things they were going to do. Did they use anthrax and knob? I don't believe so. What's Agent Orange? The same thing. No. No. Agent Orange is a defoli.
defoliation. It's uh Agent Orange they would spray on. the plants so they could find the people. in the jungle. Is is is it orange? It's a good question. Like if I saw it, right? That's a good question. Why orange? Right. Why not yellow? I don't know what it looks like. There's. another word for it, right? What was the. other word for agent orange? What's. there's like a technical term? Cuz if they use it in Vietnam, they. should just call it agent yellow. No, cut that. Cut that out.
I've always said that like Asian people. take jokes better than anybody. You know. why? Why? All emojis are yellow. No one complains. It's true. They don't complain. Yeah. yellow thumbs up, yellow smiley. face guy, yellow girl, everyone's yellow. complaint. So, people get mad at me. because I I allow comics to do Asian. accents in front of me and I laugh at it. because I think it's funny, but then. people think that I'm like a, you know, um, you know, like an Uncle Chang, you. know what I mean? Right. Right. Right. They first of all,
those people are all your friends and. friends mock each other all the time. My. friends mock me for being short. They. mock me for being bald. They mocked me. for being old. It's fun. It's fun. If they mock me for. being See, the thing is mocking me for. being Italian, it doesn't work. Like, no. one cares. It's not a bad one. That's why you can. call Italians guineies and nobody gives. a [ __ ] They They'll call each other. guineies. You can call them guineies. No. one cares cuz people don't really hate. Italians. Yeah. They find them annoying like the gold. chain ones, the [ __ ] double, those.
guys. They some of them are a little But. that's also part of the flavor of that. culture. It's fun, you know, but with. but Asian hate is a different kind of. hate because Asian hate like. legitimately people will walk up to. Asian people and punch them after co. I've you've saw it. I saw it. Yeah. It's [ __ ] wild. Just I mean that's just strict racist. hate. Walking right up to someone and. punching them just like an old man. Old men, old ladies.
It's wild. And you don't even they don't. even know what kind of Asian it is. It. could be someone from the Philippines. It could be someone from China. They. have no [ __ ] idea. They're just just. hitting people. It was [ __ ] terrible. Yeah. Terrifying. That shit's real. Yeah. But when it comes to like comedy, like back in the day, like you're. backstage with a bunch of comics, we say. all kinds of [ __ ] up [ __ ]. We try to make each other laugh and it's. hard to make us laugh. Or shock. Yeah. Or shock. Yeah. Yeah. Well, shock to make you laugh. The. shocking thing is just so you What the. [ __ ] is wrong with you?
How many times are we in the green room. and Joey Diaz will say something like, "What the [ __ ] is wrong with you?". We're on the ground laughing, but that's what he's trying to do. He's. not a bad person. He's trying to make. you laugh. And then we do it, you know, publicly. around, you know, on podcast and stuff. and people just get [ __ ] crazy. You know what it's like? It's It's like. being around any person that's used to a. certain thing. Like if you ever been. around soldiers like especially like. special operator guys like Navy Seal.
type dudes they get a couple of drinks. and them they start talking war stories. Holy [ __ ] They're funny. The they're. funny stories about people getting blown. up. Yeah. Like they have funny stories about it. and you guess what. you can't bring that up at the [ __ ]. PTA meetings. You know you can't where you gonna where. you going to you have to be around. like-minded people that understand those. kind of experiences to be able to talk. about them. cops. Some of the cops I. know have the most [ __ ] up senses of. humor. They've seen so much. They need a. release valve, man. They need [ __ ].
something to let out all the gunshot. victims and. all the deaths and highway act, all the. things they see, man. They see so much. Yeah. And also these ports back in the. day, right? You'd have different races and stuff and. they didn't speak the language and the. way they would connect is make fun of. each other and people's accents and it. was a it was you bonded that way. But. that was the nicest thing they could do. to each other back then. Those port. cities were just filled with violence. Violence. It's all gangs in New York.
Yeah. That's what it was like, man. That's. real. That's when people came here from. other countries like uh my ancestors. came here or my grandparents came here. in the 1920s. Wow. They came from Italy and uh on my. father's side, they came from Ireland. One one from Ireland. He was from. Ireland. The mother's from Italy. They're all immigrants. Everybody was an. immigrant. Those people that came to. that place, they all were so wild. They. were willing to get on a boat with their. kids and travel across the ocean. You. didn't know if you had a job.
You didn't know what it looked like. You. had to look at a drawing of it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you had to somebody had to tell. you. You had to get an a a letter from. Uncle Pete that, you know, I made it to. America. I got a job in the shipyard. It's great. I'm making, you know, 50. bucks a month. And then they're like, "Oh, 50 bucks a month." And then they. get in their boat with their babies. Yeah. Those those were wild people. And. like the Chinese, right? Back in the. day, they had three options. I could do. laundry, right? Dynamite detail.
railroad, right? Opium den. restaurant. Oh, restaurant. I'm Opium Den. Yeah. Back in the day. Yeah. You. Yeah. You. right. I'd lay them down on a nice like, you know what I mean? Felt mattress. You have cool lighting. You have great. lighting. Yeah. Yeah. Ride the track. Right. I would stick it in their mouth, light it for them, and then touch their head as they're. going. Right. Right. Right. Wow. Yeah.
Like in that movie Once Upon a Time in. America. Yeah. Diero was like [ __ ] up on uh O. opiates. But uh. everybody got [ __ ] up on it once you. did it. Yeah. They get [ __ ] up. That's what's wild. about social media. Social media is. addictive and it doesn't even feel good. Opium. At least you're feel great. Yeah, you feel great. Look at all those dudes. in an opium den. Oh my god, mine would look so much. better than that. I had Peter Berg on, you know, Peter. Berg did that, you know, he's amazing.
He's done a million things. He's That. guy's the [ __ ] But he did uh that. Netflix series, Painkiller, the one on. the uh Sackler family. Didn't see it. And holy [ __ ] dude. I see. Okay. The opioid crisis. But he said he told. me that he tried it once. He said, "I. tried I tried Oxycontton once. recreationally." He was like, "Oh my god, get this the [ __ ] away from. me." He goes, "It was great.". Yeah. It just makes you feel so good. That's. the problem. That's the problem. Those. goddamn things. Well, when I was on Matt TV and I re I.
relapsed cuz at 13 years I got on Matt. TV, all I got addicted to the Vicodin. and I was taking like 30 or 40 a day. Yeah. And when I got off of that [ __ ]. dude, right, it was the worst detox I've ever. [ __ ] felt. And then I had to do a. Connie Chung sketch on Mad Two days into. [ __ ] detoxing and I [ __ ] my pants on. on camera and they didn't air it. because you [ __ ] your pants. Yeah. I went, "Good evening, I'm played. Connie Chong.". Right. Right. I'm shaking. Oh boy.
Good evening, I'm Connie. As I said, Connie, I had food and I had stockings. and then I had a wardrobe wipe. Oh, it was [ __ ] terrible. It was [ __ ]. terrible. Oh boy. And I got sober then. But it's like, yeah, if I can opiates are the worst. What other job can you do that. and they're like, just clean them up. I know. At McDonald's, you're out. You're out. You're gone. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we try to finish working for Apple. That's a wrap. That's a wrap. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like even on stage, you're in the Genius Bar, you [ __ ] your. pants. That's it, Bobby. Yeah. No more.
Even on stage like you can go up to a. guy and go, "Fuck you.". Yeah. Like in comedy, like you don't get fired. for that. It's [ __ ] amazing. It's amazing. If you did that at like Jamba Juice, you're done, right? But the the the I remember you I. remember you telling me a story how you. had been up all night and you you got. back to Mad TV. Had to get there for. something for some like was it a table. read or what? And you had a giant knife. on you. You're super paranoid and. tweaking. Oh yeah. He said you had a he said you were. carrying like a Bowie knife.
Yeah. And sometimes a cling on one of. those cling guys love Star Trek. Yeah. So, I had a cling on knife when the. curve. How thick was it? It was like this long. I still have it. by my bed, right? And I was sticking. right here, right? I had an open. Hawaiian shirt. and I was breaking out. and they Yeah, that's what it looks. like. That's what it looked like. Yeah. Pretty. dope. Yeah. Yeah. That is actually pretty dope. That's. what Klingons would carry on. Yeah. And then they would uh Isn't that. crazy? They have spaceships so they. still need knives. It seems so like you don't have a better. you better weapon. Well, first of all,
they didn't even have the [ __ ]. internet. Right. It's the dumbest show ever. And they had. walkie-talkies. They hadn't even figured. out phones yet. I never thought of that. Like Kirk out click. You'd have to hang. out, right? You would think they would have. like a. nothing. Yeah. Something. Yeah. But yet they could beam you up. You literally take your body and rec. It's still a good show. It's a great show. It's a It's still a good sci-fi show. I love Star Trek. Next Generation. No, first one. The real one. Old one. I'm sorry. I I I'll back up. I'm sorry.
You're wrong. I'm not wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can I just say. something? I can't be wrong for liking something. I understand that. I think that you're. misinformed. How so? Because And do me a favor. Season five. No. All right. Can I just. right now? No. I know. But can I just just open your. heart? It's open. Okay. So, may I say what I'm going to. say? Right. May I? Yes, please. All right. Season five. Okay. Second to the last episode. Okay. The episode's called Inner Light. I'm not going to watch it. I I'm I'm not.
asking you to but I'm asking I'm not. asking you to but I'm I'm not but I'm. asking your fans. okay to check it out right yell at me. that episode is the greatest piece of. sci-fi ever filmed. and Adam Eaggan. hated Star Trek I forced him to watch. this episode. He watched every episode. after that. Really? Yeah. Okay. It's a great episode. Okay. I will watch it now. I changed my. mind. I will watch it. See your heart was open. It looks interesting. Yeah, it looks. interesting cuz he's walking around and.
[ __ ] Okay. See what he's got to say. Maybe he's on. like a vision quest. No, the concept is great. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I believe you. Okay. Good. Thank you. I like the old one just for nostalgic. purposes because I'm old and because. when I was a kid that was on television. and I remember watching Star Trek. Captain Kirk like, "Oh my god, he's the. coolest.". Yeah, it was the best, you know? And and it was also it's so. corny. Like if you watch it today, it's gone to this point where it becomes. funny. It's parody. Like there's a. there's a scene where Captain Kirk has a.
fight with like a lizard man. on a on a planet. Yeah, I remember that. I remember that. The dumbest fight scene ever. It's right. up there with the sticks. $6 million man. versus Bigfoot. That's the dumbest one. But this one's pretty dumb. Look how. handsome he was. So handsome. First of all, this lizard is so goddamn slow. I would. [ __ ] this lizard up. I would [ __ ] Look. at I would [ __ ] him up, dude. Yeah, I would [ __ ] Look how he is, bro. I. would [ __ ] him up. I would be leg.
kicking him right now. Whap wap. I'd. take them knees out. Oh, that what a. shitty body kick. Wow. He fights like Brendan Shaw a little. bit. But all he did is throw him. Brendan Shaw was a good fighter. He knocked out Merco. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I. love him. So, look at this. He's right next to you. and he's not even biting you. This This. is the biggest [ __ ] lizard of all time. He's not even biting. Yeah, he's not biting. The neck is right. there. He's got a giant mouth filled. with teeth. Easily he can bite. There's no restraint.
keeping him from biting. Yeah. Captain Kirk. He He hit him with the. ears. Now he's Oh, he hurt him with the. ears. So what does he do? He runs away like a. [ __ ]. Now he's going to throw rocks at him. Yeah. You got to hit him in the ear, bro. Get. close. The guy's slow as [ __ ]. Look at him. This is so dumb. This is so. dumb. This is so dumb. It hurts my. feelings. But imagine shooting that that day. It's.
so hot. That guy in the lizard suit. Oh. my god. Oh, he's sweating his dick off. Yeah, he's having it rough cuz that's probably. Burbank or somewhere. Those stone like. that. Totally looks like it could be. California, doesn't it? Yeah, they they must have shot. Oh, he's going to pick up the rock. Look. how fake that rock looks. Watching throw. that rock. All you have to do is just. get out of the way now. Don't stand. there. Wait for the Look, get out of the. [ __ ] way, bro. Oh Jesus Christ. What? How casual did he. get out of the way? Cuz he knew it. wasn't a real rock.
Yeah, it reminds me when remember that. guy threw the shoe at Bush. This is. picture perfect terrible acting. Yeah. Picture perfect terrible choreography. Everything about it is hilarious. Does. it end? That was it. Yeah. He doesn't kill him. He ran away. Yeah. Yeah. How dumb. Throwing boulders at him. Get that. That I love that show. Yeah. It reminds me of old Godzilla's. You remember when uh Captain Kirk hooked. up with that green lady? It was a big. deal. Would you have? Yeah. So, if. I would have [ __ ] the Avatar ladies. So, if you and I had a like a. The Avatar ladies, that lady's hot.
on Pandora. I don't know. It looks blue. The one I don't gives a [ __ ] The one. that he eventually winds up with. She's. hot. But you know how like the creatures. connect with the tails or whatever they. communicate. Yeah. Does that come out of the vagina, too? I. don't know. I don't think they have a vagina. Oh, I think you just link up like that and. you come in your mouth. Oh, you come. Oh, yeah. I'd love to come in. my mouth. Who knows how the babies even. get there? I can't, you know, can I ask you? I've. They don't have I mean, they they have. things over their dicks, so they must. have dicks, right? They all had loin. claws.
Yeah, but I'm 52, Joe. And I I can't I. can't I can't come. You can't come. I come every other time. Every other time. That's good. But you know what? I like I like edging. But how much are you [ __ ] Are you. trying to [ __ ] every day or jerk off. every day? Maybe you're running out of. jizz. Maybe you just have a small. factory, you know, and you're just. demanding too much output. No, my factory is pretty big, dude. Your balls are big. for my size. Yeah. Yeah. But like for normal humans, when. you hit 52, like how often are you. coming? Every other day.
That's reasonable. That's reasonable. But when I'm in the. sack with a woman, psychologically, I can't do it. So, do you just fake it? I I pull up on her. No. I make I dim the lights. Yeah. And I do it back. I go back. You go back. So, there Yeah. So I go, "Ah, and I go. to the back the back of the wall.". Good move. In the dark. Oh. And act it out. A good actor, right? Right. Right. And I go straight to the. bathroom like I'm washing it. Wa. So they can't see the come. That's a good move. Thank you. It's a good move. You want to be. deceptive.
Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's a not a terrible thing to. deceive people about whether or not you. come. Yeah. I mean, but I feel bad. We're all guilty of it. Yeah. But I don't want them to feel bad. like they're not hot. It has nothing to. do with them. I get it. Right. I'm just being like a nice guy. Yeah, I'm so sweet of you. Yeah, I'm super sensitive. But it's like. cuz I was in a 10-year thing and now I'm. like single, so I'm just experimenting, you know? I get it. Yeah, I get it. You do? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's still fun, though. Yeah. You're having a good time, Bobby. Hey, I am. As long as you're enjoying life, that's.
what you should be doing. You should be. enjoying life. You know, Joe, may I say? Yes, I am. That's beautiful. Cuz when you weren't. enjoying life, it bothered me. It. bothered me because I love you and like. you're such a nice guy and you get. weirded out by so many different things. and what like like. Oh, you you were just always paranoid. that people didn't like you and you're. you know you were always weirded out by. stuff. Well, even me and you like we hadn't. seen each other for 6 months like you. still like me. Like I love you. What are. you talking about? Give me a hug. Because we have history.
Yeah, but our history is all beautiful. It's a beautiful history. We have history of We've never been in. an argument. We've never yelled at each. other. No, we've always had good times. Yeah, we've had a lot of laughs. We have some great laughs. Oh my god, we had laughs. Oh my god. We've had We've had moments where I even. recall that you probably don't even. remember. Like one time you and I were at the. comedy store. We're in the patio and. Eddie Griffin bumped us. Right. And we were talking [ __ ]. So this must be early days. Early days back in the day, right? '90s, right? And then I remember there was a.
black guy near us listening. and he told Eddie Griffin that we were. talking [ __ ] about him and he confronted. us. Yeah, I remember that. And we were like, "Fuck off." You know. what I mean? But it was like cuz you. remember he used to do hours. Yeah. Well, he would do three hours. He. would go on at 9:00 and your spot would. be at 9:15 and he would do three hours. It was him. Dice would do it sometimes. Mensia Mensia would do it all. Oh my. god. Oh my god. Yeah. But it was the thing is it was the. kind of the culture of the comedy store.
in Eddie's defense is that if you reach. a certain level of fame and at the time. Eddie was definitely more famous than us. and he was when I still to this day. maintain that Eddie Griffin set on Def. Jam was one of the best [ __ ] I don't. know was it 10 minutes 15 minutes. whatever he did it was one of the best. sets I've ever seen. He had shorts on, remember? Yeah. And he has so much. energy, man. I remember wa I I'm pretty. sure I was in New York at the time when.
I watched it. I was like, "God damn, this [ __ ] dude. is talented.". Yeah. I'm not questioning his skill set, but it's a the culture thing. This is. what I was going to say. There was a. thing at the store when you reached a. certain level of prominence, you were. allowed to just do whatever the [ __ ] you. wanted. And people would show up and. apparently Kenisonson used to do that. A. lot of guys used to do that. But do ours. I get it, man. And I don't I don't agree. with it. You wouldn't do it. No, but there's certain guys did. Certain guys that are really good did. Chappelle did it. There's a bunch of. guys who did it. It was a thing that.
you're allowed to do there. You know. what I'm saying? And it was like I don't. I think we probably all should have. talked about it. Yeah. And said, "Hey, this is kind of crazy.". But. I still to this day went to Emily and I. go, "Give me a list right now of the. people that are allowed to bump me.". Right. Right. And she goes, "I'll get back to you.". Nobody should be allowed to bump you. If. someone wants to do a set, if like a. famous person is in town, they should. ask you if it's okay. That's how I feel. I never bump anybody. But it still happens. No, I know. But.
it's I don't I don't It's a Also, it's a. thing that was the comedy stores like. mark that you had made it to a certain. level if you could show up. And some. guys would try to get it. They would try. to bump people and like you're nobody. Like some people are crazy crazy. Delusional. Yeah. They're like a YouTube person or. someone who's on some show literally. like someone who's on the some show that. you've never heard of that was on like. the WB or something like that. What are. you talking about? There's a few guys. that like wanted to try that juice.
before because it was that thing like. when someone would show up, whoever it. was, some Chris Rock would show up, he. would just go on stage, that's it. Chris Rock goes on stage. He's on the list. I have a list. of people that are allowed. Yeah. You're on the list. Okay. You wouldn't do it, but you're on it. Yeah. I don't do it. Yeah, Chris Rock's. on the list. Chappelle's on the list. Bill Bur's on the list. Makes. sense, right? But then there are people, you. know what I mean, that aren't and they. do it and it drives me [ __ ] crazy. Well, it's a weird thing. It's like. you're trying to appease the talent. You.
don't you never know who's really going. to make it big and you don't want to. piss them off now. [Music]. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with. that. I know. I always told people, be nice to comedy. club owners cuz you don't want to be. one. That was my advice always to comics. cuz they always get mad at comic club. owners. I go, "Listen, man. You do not. want to be one of these people, and we. [ __ ] need them. This is a crazy job. You're dealing with maniacs that may or. may not take their flight, might show up. drunk, might might get arrested Friday. night after the first show. Like, you. don't like Imagine you're you're feeding.
your family based on these [ __ ]. maniacs that come in every night. I. know. I mean, these people are regular people. with. I would go to comedy clubs and I I would. look at I go to the office and see the. calendar and it it always say it would. always say Pablo Francisco with a. question mark. Oh, yeah. Pablo was a. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like I get it. Yeah. Look, Pablo is [ __ ] insanely. talented. He's so talent. Oh my god. Pablo goes to the basement. He gets in. there. He goes and looks around those. dark corners, son. I, you know, I I. He goes out there. He goes into the. tunnel.
And I've I've you know, I I just feel so. sad about it. But he could have been the. biggest thing. He should have been He should have been. talented. He should have been huge. in the 90s. Oh my god. Crusher. destroyer and so fun to be around. Like. a sweetheart of a guy. like a just. nobody hated Pablo. Sweetheart of a guy. Sweetheart. Every time people were around him, you. wanted to hug him. Yeah. But he had that skill set on stage. that was like a combination between. impressions and act outs and he had. everything. and funny jokes. Yeah. Funny jokes. Yeah. Yeah.
He had all of it. All of it together and. just so likable. Such a great guy. Such a nice guy. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it's I see that still to this. day. I was really lucky that the thing that I. was into was weed. and that the thing I was into made me. terrified. It gave me it made me. paranoid. It was the opposite of making. giving me courage. It gave me no. courage. Like marijuana marijuana was a courage. killer. Like it made me feel like.
courage was foolish. You're so. vulnerable. Life is vulnerable. You and. and it made me appreciate people more. like legitimately. When you when you're. do you perform when you're high. sometimes all the time. All right. Do you ever lose your place. or No. No. That's what I found. I take a lot of neutropics. That's one. of the keys. Can I have one? Yeah. You take take four of those. That's Alpha Brain Black Label. That. stuff is the [ __ ]. I've always when I see a show on on your. online, I always want to try your little. things. That's a good one to try. And this is, you know, I'm affiliated with this. company obviously, but this is not the.
only one that I try. I'll tell people. about some stuff that I have no. affiliation with. Neurog gum is one of. them. We have We always keep Neurog gum. in the studio. Can I have a packet of Neurogum when I. leave? Yeah, we can have one right now. Yeah. Yeah. Give me a pack on the mic at. some point. I'm not going to do it. We have plenty. We should get some more. We'll probably. run and dry. We We go through four or. five [ __ ] boxes of that stuff. And you really Neurogum really works. Oh, yeah. 100%. Oh, wow. It's got theineine in it and caffeine. and a couple other things. And what it. does is it enhances your memory. It. enhances your your brain's ability to.
form sentences. And. Wow. Yeah. Well, with AlphaBrain, we did two. double blind placeboc controlled studies. at the Boston Center for memor memory. and it showed increase in alpha flow. state. It showed uh increase in verbal. memory, increase in I think it was a. reaction time, but it does something and. it and we did it at a dose that's half. of what I take. I take four sometimes I. take six. if I'm feeling frisky. Keep the old like if I'm talking to a.
scientist right away or no? No. Okay. No. Take a while. If I'm. talking to a scientist, I I I'll take a. shitload of them. I'll take six. Well, like Lex Lex. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. I love that guy. He's awesome. He's awesome. But I mean any scientist like any. anytime I'm talking to someone who's. like explaining to me some very. complicated things about the universe. Yeah. Like I don't want any foggess. I want to. be like locked in. See, that was one of. my fears of doing your show is science. and the things that you guys talk about. I'm not talking about science. I know. I'm just saying. I I was like, I.
don't know nothing about anything. You don't have to. Okay. No, no, no, no, no. This This is just. I know film. I know some film. You You and my friend and we have had. conversations thousands of times. That's. all this is. It's just you and I having. a conver. Do you remember when we first. met? Remember we first met at the strip. club in San Diego? You can I say can I say say something? All right. All right. But can I just say. something about it? Yeah. I think I. might be wrong the way you're saying it. Maybe. How so? Well, I don't Let's Let's go by So,
okay. I I met you were headlining La Hoya. Yes. I was a door man. Yes. Right. And I think Diaz was Diaz was. there, I believe. So, yeah, I think it was there. Right. I. knew Diaz, right? So, he goes, "Hey, let's go to the strip. club with Joe.". And I I was like I was trying to be a. host. Was this 95? Yeah. 9596. Okay. Right. Wow. And I was a kid, right? I was enamored by you. You know what I. mean? Not enamored, but I was. I wasn't even famous back then. No, but still you were a headliner. I. was an MC. Right. Right. So then we go to the strip club. Okay.
Right. And it's deja vu. Okay. Okay. Okay. And I wanted to go like I'm from San. Diego. I know the ropes. I know the. people. I didn't. Okay. Of course I didn't. That's not really what happened. No. But we sat there. Okay. And then there were gang members. there. Right. Right. And then we I don't know what the. problem was, but there was a problem. between. I'll tell you the problem. Okay. Okay. There's one of the gang members. who's dating one of the strippers. Okay. And when he was over there talking to. the stripper, you went over and tried to.
get the stripper to give you a lap. dance. And when you did that, I saw the look in. his eyes and he had I'll never forget he. had long straight black hair. This. Mexican dude with tattoos on his face in. '9s. Only two two tear drops. That's fine. That's only two people he killed. Okay. And this is 95. Okay. And um you went over and I said, "Bobby, what the [ __ ] are you doing? What the. [ __ ] are you doing?" I go, "Did you take. a look at that guy's eyes?". Yeah. I go, "Bobby, these are like dangerous.
real people." And you're like, "Oh, shut. the [ __ ] up. This nothing's going to. happen. They ain't going to do shit." I. go, "Okay, I'm out of here." So I said, "I'm leaving. You could either come with. me or not." And I got up and left. I saw. where this was going. They were getting. up, Bobby. They were moving around. They. were thinking about coming over to you. And I got us right out the door and you. barely got in my car. You barely got in. my car in time. You were dillydallying. and someone had to yell at you and then. we got you in the car and we took off. I. go, "Hey, Bobby, you are going to get a. shot." Like for real. Well, you saved my life. I don't know if. I saved your life, but I definitely.
saved you an ass. But but also if she's working there, she's on the clock. No, just hear me out. No, you're. If I'm at McDonald's, right, and some. woman. technically correct. I'm technically correct. Technically, you're correct. Ethically correct. But she was over. there talking to her gang member. boyfriend and you went over asking for a. lap dance and you you just like stormed. your way into their conversation and you. were going to die. Can I just say something? Yes, please. I want to say something. Okay. At the time I found this out later. I. thought the teardrops meant that he was.
emotional or something. I didn't know. about death. Okay. If I even if he didn't have. teardrops on his face, the look in that guy's eyes like the the. whole group of them, they were serious. Make assumptions about people. Okay. Do you have any self-preservation. instincts whatsoever? What do you mean? Did you have any self-preservation. instincts? We. from the suburbs. We don't we don't know. the danger that way. We had no homeless. We had surfers. You should be just inherently like a a. child sees a dog's teeth and is scared. of him. You should see that guy growling and go,
"Okay, this is real.". Joe, I'm 52 now. I've never had anything. happen to me. So, I feel like my. instincts, right, are on the on point. You're also very likable. decide not to. kill you. I smile. Yeah. So, what what the [ __ ] dog? I got. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good move. That's a good move. That's a good move. Yeah. Yeah. But that that was our introduction. That's how we became friends. Okay. It didn't [ __ ] up our relationship. It. didn't [ __ ] know. We stayed friends.
Yeah. I know. And then I came to LA and. then I think that would it grew. What year did you come to LA? 97 or '98. Like in that time period. Why was it what a weird time at the. store that was? Huh? The dark ages. It was weird. But it was really good for. us. cuz you would go on stage in the O and. it'd be half full and it was it was like. a real good place to [ __ ] around and. practice. Oh, so the people that did it really did. it because there was no like light at. the end of the tunnel. Not anymore. I think the store goes. through eras and it had gone through the. Kenisonson era and when Kenisonson died.
I think there was a big drop off. It was terrible times on a Saturday. night in the O. They couldn't start the show without. four people living in the audience and. there would be sometimes no show. Yeah. On a Saturday [ __ ] night. Yeah, it was crazy. It was crazy, dude. But then it came back. It came back when. the internet came around. Came back in. like in the early 2000s. Yeah. Yeah, it came back. And we I reaped the rewards. I'm so glad. it didn't quit. Yeah. I'm so glad you didn't quit, too. Yeah. I saw Dude, I saw some great I saw. one time at 2:00 in the morning. I was.
working the door there. Yeah. And I saw people in purple robes. Ooh. go up into the belly room. Uh-oh. With candles. Oh, Jesus. Right. So now you know how you can sneak. up to the belly room through the green. room with those offices and stuff, right? Were they supposed to be up there? Yeah. Oh, I I'm not lying. This is the '9s. Yeah. Okay. Right. I peek through. They formed a. circle and they had candles up. What? Eat a baby. No, no, no. No baby eating. Okay. You I have to report that. Okay.
Okay. And they were doing seances. The comedy store, if any place is. haunted, the comedy store is haunted. They were trying to seance Andy. Kaufman's. ghost. Oh. And when I went back downstairs, the people that went with the robes, they came back down and they were in. their regular clothes. Lily Tomlin, Bob. Zamuda. Whoa. I saw it with my own eyes. Whoa. It was [ __ ] crazy. Whoa. Yeah. Well, why not, you know?
Yeah. You get a little high, someone comes up. with an idea. Yeah. Why do we have to wear the robes? cuz. it'd be fun. And then you get candles. Right. Right. Right. Right. It sounds like something me and Duncan. would do. Yeah. Nice robes probably, too. Yeah. Lily Tom, she's not going to wear. some [ __ ] robe. Yeah. Yeah. But. have some respect. Speaking of Duncan, when I got sober, when I had that 17 years chunk, and. anyone out there listening, right, I. needed to get all my drugs out of my. house. So, he was the only one I wanted. to. He's the only one that could do it.
So, when I called him, he came up to my. house in 5 minutes. He cleaned out my. apartment in like 20 minutes and then he. made me a fish dinner. A. and then he took all my drugs and went. away. But I want to Duncan, if you're. listening, thank you for that. Duncan's the man. He's the best. Yeah, we lived together once for a while. He. Where? In my house for 6 months in California. Really? Yeah. Wow. He got kicked out of his apartment. He. was or the house. He was dating this. lady and she got tired of him playing. video games all day.
Really? And he he calls me up. He goes, "Dude, I. don't know what to do. I'm in a hotel.". She kicked me out. I go, "Come live with. me.". Yeah. I got this big ass house. Yeah. So Duncan lived with me for like 6. months. And that was I had a sensory. deprivation tank in the basement. I I I saw that when I figured out. Duncan would go down the basement, trip. balls, and sort his life out. Was he messy? No. No. Duncan was a great roommate. Really? He was awesome. Yeah. Did you have to kick him out or No. No. No. No. He eventually got back on.
his feet again, right? And you know, we had a great. time. Like he could have stayed there. for years. We had a wonderful time. It. was a lot of fun. Wow. It was like Duncan's one of my best. friends. So like having one of my best. friends in my house. And the house is. big. So it's not like we're on top of. each other. I would be way the [ __ ] The. phone didn't even work in the whole. house. I'd have to transfer phones to go. to other parts of the house. Wow. It's a big ass house. So if Duncan's. over in that side, I'm I'm over in this. side. Like we're not even in each. other's hair. Yeah. Didn't even bother each other. So it was.
really cool, man. And it was cool like. having meals with him, hanging out with. him. So for like 6 months we were. roommates. And to think that he was not even a. stand-up at one point. He was the talent. coordinator. Well, he was a standup. He was trying to. do standup when he was the talent. coordinator. We became friends because I. would call up and give my veils and then. we would have crazy conversations like. you know he was like did you see this. thing with Rahm Doss and he. and we would talk about like UFOs and. Bigfoot and [ __ ] Yeah, that's why when that Joe Rogan Questions.
Everything show, that's why I did it. with him. I'm like, he's the perfect guy. to do this with. And Ari, too. Ari did. some of the episodes as well. But like, you know, Duncan was always. trying to do standup. He was just, you. know, he just unorthodox, you know, in approach. But then he got good like the [ __ ]. doll. Oh my god. Little little Hobo is one of. the best sets. One of the best bits I've. ever seen. It was so good. It's so good. She did it the other night. at the at the mother ship. Oh, did he really? Yeah. It's incredible. He's got a new. little hobo, too. Somebody stole little.
hobo. No. Yeah. Some piece of [ __ ]. Hobo. Little hobo was like an antique. doll, too, right? Yeah. So, how what do you f. I don't know. I don't remember how. someone stole it. Yeah, but where do you get another. little hobo? Oh, you go on eBay. Oh, you can get little hobos on the. Oh, yeah. The new one he's got is creepy. as [ __ ]. Oh, really? I want to get I want to get. a little hobo. You can get one. Yeah, you can go online and get antique. puppets. They have them. Really? Yeah. It's thousands of dollars probably, though. I don't know. Like there's there. it is. Is that the new little hobo?
New little hobo. Oh my god. He's cute. He's [ __ ] creepy. He lives here now, right? Yeah. Duncan lives here. Everyone's asking me to come. You should come. I know you were talking. [ __ ] about moving to Austin, but listen. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. I watched the video. No, I didn't. Don't lie. You did. You did. Like, I'm. not [ __ ] moving to Austin. I don't. leave my neighborhood. I don't go to. Compton. I stay right here. Could I say something? What? You know what, man? No. No. You. know, you know what, man? No. You know.
what, man? What? Listen, you have to understand what you guys. did. What did we do? You guys took half of the talent out. Yeah. So, I was just buttth hurt. We brought another bunch in, too. Like, Shane Gillis lives here. I know. I know he does. We're doing great. I know you guys are killing it. We're. having. I went to the club last night. Come move. here. I know. But you're more than Pauliey's. thinking about it. Pauliey's here a lot. I know. I was just here thinking about. it. Theo's thinking about it. Yeah. They're all just worried that like.
people go, "Oh, you moved there to suck. on Rogan's nuts.". I would never suck your nuts. I don't ask. I wouldn't do it. If you did, it would be a problem. Yeah. I'd be like, "Why are you doing this?". I'd have to be a. Would you hurt me? No. Oh, if you Okay. We were camping. If I woke up and you were sucking my. nuts, I would hurt you. What? I would yell at you. Hurt you? Yeah. I'd be like feel [ __ ] dude. Good. You would feel. I was in the middle of a dream. What if. I was in the middle of a sex and you. sucked my. nose? I'd be so mindful, too, bro. That would be a real problem for. the rest of my life. Like the hardest I. ever came.
I would sleeping. Yeah. Sex dreaming. Bobby Lee was. sucking my nuts. I don't know why he was. doing it. It was just for fun. He didn't know. I've sucked nuts before, but like, you. know, I get it. Yeah. But um yeah, I'm Me and Santino. will maybe think talk about it though. Listen, man. It's a great place to live. It's a great place tax-wise. It's a. great place traffic-wise. It's a great. place. The most important thing is. people-wise. The people here are so. friendly. Austin people are great. people. They're really nice. They're.
nice. They're not [ __ ] They're not. Hollywood people. They're not lost in. this fake world of leftist ideology that. everybody's trapped in. They're just. people. They're just regular people, man. And those people exist outside of. these these blue bubbles where. everyone's gone insane. Well, I used to. be a part of the blue bubble. I I was. 100% a left-leaning person who lived in. Los Angeles. I was 100% I never voted. Republican my whole life. I was very. left-leaning, especially with like any.
social issues. When it comes to. financial things, I'm a little bit more. conservative, but at the end of the day, I'm way more left than I am right. But. California went nuts, man. It's gone. like full communist. It's out of its. [ __ ] mind. and their approach to law. enforcement is so insane. It's so. insane. The no cash bail, the letting. people out for committing violent. crimes, the [ __ ] not stopping people. for stealing up to whatever money is.
What is it? $900 now. I think they. raised it. I think they made it a little. higher. San Francisco is non-existent. San Francisco, most of San Francisco is. emptied out of like big chain stores and. big department stores. I would I. wouldn't even do stand up there anymore. It's crazy. They ruined it. They ruined the city. I mean, you can. bring it back. The structure is still. there, but you'd have to have some. hardcore Rudy Giuliani type [ __ ]. to come in there and knock heads. Wow. And nobody wants that. Nobody wants. that. They're peace, love, and granola. and [ __ ] wear a mask.
I'm in the middle now. I'm in the middle. I'm in the middle. I never I never thought I would ever. never. It only happened in those last year. Right. Exactly. I just went I can't do it anymore. You know, people that you thought were. aligned with you are like now now like. mad at you about [ __ ]. They're in a cult. They're in a cult. It's it's got all I mean. Mark Andre who's a brilliant venture. capitalist guy explained it to me in in. in very clear terms like what the.
definition of a cult is, how you can get. excommunicated, how you get shamed for. having differing opinions, the group. think, the whole he's like it's a cult. And he's right. He's 100% right. Yeah, it's just hard to say because then. people in the cult will attack you. But they're not attacking you for a. reasonable. it's not logical like the way they're. attacking you. They're attacking like. someone attacks religious beliefs. Yeah. And some of these religious beliefs. would get it gets into these weird gray. areas like like trans people in women's.
bathrooms. Like says who? Says who? How do you know that's a real. trans person? How do you not know that's. a [ __ ] creep who wants to pull his. dick out in front of kids? Cuz those are. real. Yeah. And if all you That guy was. a convicted uh sex offender. Yeah. And. he was doing that. Look, those guys are. real. It doesn't mean trans people. aren't real also. But those guys are. [ __ ] real. And to even say that those. guys are real, you get excommunicated. You get treated like you're a Nazi.
I never even cared about it. Didn't care at all. Yeah. I mean, whatever you are, I don't. give a [ __ ] You know what I mean? But. it's like I can't do it anymore. I think it's engineered. I really do. By. who? By China and by Russia. Oh, no. Chinese. Yeah. I think uh what they're doing by. manipulating social media, manipulating. algorithms. I think some of it is. natural. Don't Don't get me wrong. I. think some of it would have happened. either way. It happened during the 70s. with the hippie movement. There's always.
like there's always these people that. are they want to live completely outside. of the norm of conformity of society and. there's always people like that. but what's going on now is very. different and it's accentuated by social. media and I think it's accentuated by. algorithms naturally because people are. inclined to go towards things that upset. them but also it's it's done purposely. and I think it's done if you have enough. stuff about like whatever Whatever the. thing is, whether it's Black Lives.
Matter or whether it's Ukraine or. whether it's Pal Free Palestine from the. river to the sea, if you have enough of. that online, it moves the needle. And. the way I described it the other day, it's like if two ships are going in a. certain direction. This is a ship where. people logically work through things. And this is a ship that's adjusted by. the algorithm, affected by the. algorithm. It just moves that much. Over time, this is what we're seeing. So. over time, you and I who used to be on. the left are now like, "Where's the. left? Where are you guys? You guys are.
so far away. I can't even see you. You're out of your mind. You're you're. you're [ __ ] chopping dicks off and. and giving little kids hormone blockers. You have no idea what the long-term. consequences are. You're ignoring the. health risks. You won't even talk about. the health risks. You You use things. like. gender affirming care. What are you. saying? What are you saying when you're. talking about children?" Yeah. Why are you just accepting this? Cuz. it's it's a noble thing to blurt out so. everybody goes, "You're on the right.
team." That's what it is. It's not like, "Oh my god, what are we doing to kids?". It's not like, "Oh my god, what are we. doing to San Francisco?" It's not like, "Oh my god, why are we letting these. violent criminals out of jail?" It's. like, "Oh my god, why are we defunding. the [ __ ] police? What are you doing?". Yeah. You can't say any of those things. You. say any of those things. Yeah. I. You get nervous. No. Okay. I live here, right? This is Texas. Texas. 99% of the people. agree with me. Even the left-leaning. people here are way more reasonable. Even last night, there's a joke that I.
tell that if I say it in a liberal city, it dies. You know what I mean? And it's. it's a joke about, you know, I mean, Down syndrome people making love and. they make up their own moves, right? And they have they know. traditional moves. And I did it last night. It crushed both. shows and I felt like, oh, this is, you. know what I mean? what I've been I think. maybe looking for. Well, that club is specifically designed. and nurtured just for what's funny. That's it. There is no message here.
Unless you have a message and it's funny. and it's in there, you want to do it, that's fine. But what's valued is. comedy. Just like if you go to a music. show, you don't want those in between. the music speeches about climate change. Shut the [ __ ] up. Shut the [ __ ] up and. play the song. Entertain me. We want to. develop standup comedy, like real. standup comedy, because I think it's a. worthy art form. I think it's very. valuable to people in terms of enjoyment.
and in terms of mental health and in. terms of society. It's it's a it's an. important part of society. Like the. Lakota had a person in their tribe that. was called the Hayoka. And Hayoka was. the sacred clown. And that this was the. person that made fun of everything. Because if you couldn't make fun of. something, it was [ __ ] Like if. there's one guy, oh, you can't make fun. of him. Well, that's probably [ __ ]. He probably has a an disappropriate. amount or an inappropriate amount of. power. Yeah. A disproportionate amount. of influence. There's like probably some.
ego going on here, too. If you can't. make fun of something because if you can. make fun of something and it's not. funny, then you're not funny. But if you. can make fun of something and it's funny. and people laugh and someone gets mad, they're the problem. Yeah. They're the problem. And I want to say something. I never. said this before. I want to say it now. Right. is I just for my personal life, some of the bullying that I received was. necessary for me to get to where I am. now. Well, you don't want it. I don't want it. No, I didn't ever want. it. But I I wouldn't like go back in my.
past and change anything, right? I wouldn't either. Yeah. Yeah. Because I feel like. everything like my dad was [ __ ]. violent as [ __ ] dude. Like he would knock my mom's tooth out. She has a missing tooth right here. You. know what I mean? And we witnessed all. this trauma. Yeah. Right. And he was like, "Dude, it was. like he was [ __ ] terrible. I had done. EMDR on just him trauma therapy, right?". And it's like, and then, you know, I you. know, I was a little guy in in in. American high school and the people.
would bully me. I lived in Minnesota. They they thought I was an Eskimo. They. throw ice chunks at my head. Crows would. Anyway, my point is is that all those. little things and even in comedy, it was. hard being me, this little guy, you know. what I mean? Doing it. people, you know, comics would black comics would. sometimes come to me. Asians aren't. funny, you know what I mean? Well, there was always that knock on. Asians. Yeah. Let's be honest. Like. Henry Cho was like the first guy that. went mainstream. I love him. He was the first guy that went. mainstream. I love him. Wasn't he? Yes. Ronnie Chang's [ __ ] hilarious.
I love Ronnie. That dude is so funny. He's so funny. He's got so much attitude on stage. Johnny Yun was before him. That's right. Johnny Yun. He's funny, too. Yeah, he's very funny. There's there but. there was a knock, you know, but dude, nobody thought that when they saw you on. stage. Like you're you're a really funny. guy. You're very good. Thank you. Very good comic. Thank you. You're a very good comic. Yeah. And I I also want to tell you the. reason why I didn't want to do this now. is because I'm doing a special and I.
want to promote it. Okay. And I thought maybe I could only do it. once every 5 years, but then your people. said that I could do it when I. You could do this anytime you want. Okay. Yeah. I I feel I feel that now. You have my number. I'm going to call you. I'm going to text. you. I'm going to text you. I'm going to. do anytime. You want to It's going to be. great. Listen, I love you. I love you, too. Yeah, I get it. All right. Yeah. Yeah. I. get it, though. I know now how it works. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I was like, um, I have to do. one. I have to do a film.
And the reason. you really should cuz it it'll also. force you to write more and [ __ ] around. more. And but you need a place to do. that. And that's why you should move. here. Well, that's why I'm there. So much stage time here, dude. That's why in March I talked to Adam. I'll go I'm going to do shows here in. the little room to do Bobby Lee New Joke. Night. Let's go, Bobby Lee. Let's go. And then me and Adam are going to do a. um Star Trek podcast. Oh boy. Yeah. And at that point, you're going to. watch The Inner Light. That's a big ask. A lot of ask. It's 40 minutes. You really think that's the best science.
fiction ever? Better than Alien, the. first Alien movie, the Sigourney Weaver. But you have to think though that it. the, you know, because obviously the. budget isn't alien budget, right? So. it's cheesy television, right? But the. concept, you know what I mean, was. mind-blowing at the time. When I saw. that in my early 20s, it blew my [ __ ]. mind. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like I don't want. to give it away now. You know what I. mean? Maybe I can I try to sell it to. you real quick or no? No. Why not? I'm sure it's okay. Yeah. All right. I will. But you're.
going to watch it. I'll watch that one. episode that you told me to watch. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And. they make fun of me about it. I will. Yeah, most certainly. But you also. That's not the best science fiction. ever. That's crazy. If you Google If you Google the best. television sci-fi episode, the Inner L. is in the top three. You know what's a super underrated. television sci-fi show? What? Battlestar Galactica. The new version. So good. So good. I've seen it twice already all the way. through. It's incredible. It's a really good show. Yeah. Yeah.
Like you think of it as a science. fiction show, but it's a really good. like psychology show. It's a like the. way they had it set up. It's [ __ ]. terrifying. I just got goosebumps when you said it. It's so good and it's so appropriate to. watch today. And they kept jumping every hour because. they're so scared. Oh my god, it was so. good. And also the combination of artificial. people and real people. Oh my god. It's really diff because that's. something that we're going to have to. navigate. They didn't have AI then. They. didn't have that aspect of it worked. out. You know, there wasn't like a.
terrifying force that they were dealing. with as well, but the Sylons were. awesome. The the the robot murderers. Yeah. Oh my god. And they also kept some of the old. school sylons there, too. But but the. new school ones were like you couldn't. tell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There was new school Sylons. and old school sylons. That's a great. [ __ ] show. I can't believe I'm And you know, I love. Was it the pop pot face guy with it? Oh, God. [ __ ] Almost. Edward James. almost amazing.
Yeah. Yeah. So good in that. He's amazing. It's a great [ __ ] show. Like great acting, great stories, great. special effects. It really flew under. the radar. I think it was on like FX or. something like that. Sci-fi channel. Sci-fi. That's what it was. So like not. enough people were on that channel. But now you know that I saw it, right? I'm telling you the inner light rivals. it. Rivals. Okay, that's one. watch it and. go, "Okay, that's like the same kind of. feel.". Rise Rivals is reasonable.
Yeah. What's your favorite sci-fi movie? Oh [ __ ] Um, in terms of like. entertainment. Yeah. like loved. my favorite sci-fi um Aliens is one of. the original Aien was good. Yeah. Because you know, Harry Dean Stanton was. great. The cat here's what I loved about. it. The cast was so believable. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And that was also the first time. there was like a female action star that. you didn't feel like they were. shoehorning it in your face that she's. female. She was stuck in that role.
That's not the role she wanted, you know? She wasn't some like badass. She was someone rising to the occasion, becoming a badass in the face of this. horrific thing that had killed everybody. else on her spaceship. Spoiler alert. Yeah. Yeah. They also felt like real. truckers almost like you know the ship. lived live lived in. right oily almost you know. Yeah it was [ __ ] amazing. It's a great movie. It's a great movie but Aliens 2. not as good. Not as good but still entertaining. Different kind of movie that was like.
the aliens were easy to kill all of a. sudden and there was like a lot of them. All right. Well they're Marines though. Yeah but it doesn't matter. The the. aliens were so the alien the first one. was so clever and so fast and so sneaky. and then all a sudden they're not. All a. sudden they're just [ __ ] idiots just. running at you like like the the British. with the [ __ ] white cross on their. chest target. Yeah. Yeah. It didn't make any sense. It's like. their characteristics were completely. different. They were the dumb aliens. Yeah. And then the big one, the big female, the mama, the the the queen.
That was fun. She should have [ __ ] Sigourney Weaver. up like that. It didn't make any sense. Okay. With that ste you [ __ ] with the robot. thing. Like your whole body's exposed. Poke. Now you're dead. What are you. talking about? Okay. Okay. And why is it moving so slow? All the. all the above. It should have been. Well, she's she has babies in her belly. I don't know. You ever see a praying mantis kill a. hummingbird? I don't watch stuff like that, man. You should watch that cuz a praying. mantis is like the human or the. earthlike equivalent of what one of.
those alien things are. The alien thing is an enormous praying. mantis. Probably even more violent and. more deadly. And I just don't buy. Sigourney Weaver with a stupid [ __ ]. robot crane suit on kicking its ass. Does it make me a [ __ ] when I watch. planet Earth and I see a lion chase a. gazelle or whatever and I fast forward. No, you just don't want to see the. suffering. I don't want to see it. But does that. make me weak, though? No. No, it's not weak. You just don't. want to experience it. Yeah, I don't want to experience it.
You know what it is. You've seen it. before. Yeah, I've seen it happen. You don't. have to see a lion eating a [ __ ]. gazelle guts first over and over and. over again. Or hyenas. The the hyenas. ones are the the wild dog ones. Those. are the ruthless ones cuz they're. pulling the guts out while the thing is. trying to stand up. It's good. It's good. [ __ ] man. At least the lions kill you. first. Lion the cats always kill you. They don't just eat you. Cats grab you. by the neck and they [ __ ] kill you. Wow. But dogs, wild dogs and hyenas and.
bears, they just start eating you. And then the alligator, you have to do a. twirl with them. Yeah. You might not do a little dance. You might not die for an hour. You might. all. with a lot of different creatures. Oh, really? Depends on what Well, alligators will. take you underwater. They'll drown you. cuz they want to they want to stuff you. under a log so you can rot so you're. easier to consume. What What animal could I think I I can. survive? You think. a mouse? Maybe. Maybe. No, a really angry mouse. You'd probably. you'd probably run into a wall.
Well, with a bear, maybe. You don't think so? A bear? Yeah, but I would just not freeze. I don't think that works. Freezing doesn't work. Depends on why they're there. All right. If they're there to eat you, no, that's. not going to work. If they're there to. scare you away from their children, maybe. Maybe it work. But do you know what to do? No. There's no what to do. There's not a. lot to do. Cuz when you go to Hawaii and you swim. with the shark, they give you rules. M. you don't splash. Did you hear about that kid that was. just in a shark tank? Was in the Bahamas. got bit. They they they had some shark.
tank experience and some kid got bit by. a shark. Some kid I think from Maryland. Really? Yeah. Don't [ __ ] around, man. They don't. know that it's a shark tank. They just. They're sharks. They're sharks. Yeah. And a bear is like to to think you know. what to do. Maybe maybe if you spray it. with pepper spray it'll run away. Maybe. Maybe it won't. Maybe if you shoot it, you'll stop it in its tracks. Or maybe. you only have like a 9 millimeter and. you could pump it full of four, five, six holes and it still tears you apart.
Wow. Yeah. You you if you're going to shoot. it with a gun, you want a large caliber. rifle. You want like a 300 Win Mag. You want something big, something boom. boom. You want to put large holes in. that gigantic monster predator. What about sword? No. No. You're [ __ ] I thought knock. go okay. you won't even you'll [ __ ] bounce it. off its nose and it'll just get mad at. you. you'll miss you'll panic it's just hard.
the the speed that it moves at will. astound all your senses you'll you'll. panic because you'll realize you don't. have the reaction time you you don't. have the physical movement time capable. of dealing with how fast it's coming at. you you your body doesn't work good. enough to do that. you know I would go I would run toward. it and just get it over with. that might or. I'll just run and I'll just jump right. into the head. Maybe. it depends on where it bites you. The. thing about those things is they don't. necessarily kill. They just hold down. and eat. They just hold you down and.
start eating. Okay. You know Grizzly Man, that documentary. I saw. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That that video where the lens cap was. on, but they have an audio of him dying. It's like. it's so horrifying. I know. It's like 5 minutes long. Yeah. 5 minutes of that thing eating him. alive. 5 minutes is so long before you're dead. Yeah. You got to think of how long it is. Something just weighs 1,000 lbs, putting. its paw on your chest and just pulling. your guts out, screaming. I bombed for 5.
minutes and it seems like 20 minutes, right? Imagine getting eating. Oh my god. Forever. Oh my god. Do you bomb anymore? Oh, a bomb. A joke bomb. Yeah. Yeah. We We also do Bottom of the Barrel. You. know, Bottom of the Barrel is like one. of those shows where the audience has. suggestions and you reach into the. barrel and pull out the suggestions. and then you just riff. I bombed on. those shows. Oh, really? Yeah. You can't Sometimes there's no. suggestion. Sometimes it's like green. sneakers. Oh my god. What the [ __ ] am I going to do with.
this? Yeah, cuz sometimes people are trying to trip. you up. Sometimes people have good. suggestions. Some of them are actually. like almost in the form of jokes. Like. some of them really funny. Wow. Yeah. So you you just randomly pull out. a random and the audience fills it out. Exactly. Wow. And it's like sometimes it's an amazing. premise factory because sometimes. because you're on the spot like that. every now and then an idea will pop into. your head. You're like, "Oh [ __ ] that's. a bit.". Yeah. And then that bit you get home and you. listen to it and you write it down. Like. there's three or four bits that I've. gotten that are actual bits now because.
of that show. I I want to admit something to you right. now if I may. I do. I want to admit. something to you right now if I may. Okay. The reason why I haven't done a special. is because of the fear. of doing new [ __ ]. Yeah, of course. Of course. It's shameful. I get. Yeah. But this idea that you have of a. Bobby Lee new joke night, I'm forcing myself to do it. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Because you.
know when you guys left the store and I. don't want to make fun of I and I I love. all the comics dude but it's like you. know sometimes when the headliners like. the guys with names leave town for the. weekends you look some of the lineups. there you know what I mean and so when. I'm they're not as strong. So when I'm. in town, I'm in the main room. I have. the prime spot. It's packed. I have this [ __ ] pressure to crush. Of course, you know, because I just know that. they're there to see me and I want to. give them a good show.
Well, you could do sets other places, too. You know, do sets other places. Go. to the Haha. [ __ ] around at the Ice. House. Go to Flappers. Go [ __ ] around in. other spots. Flappers. Yeah. I know you're saying that, but it's. like, yeah, go up there. It's a It's a crowd, the. humans, you know. [ __ ] around. Burr [ __ ] around. there. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Burr likes to do that. He likes to. go to Ice House. He'll [ __ ] around. there. Yeah. You gotta kind of [ __ ] around. You got. to You got to like come up with ideas. and and sit down like like last night.
I was I told myself I'm going to go to. bed early. Uh I was in front of the. computer at 10:00 and I was like, I'll. I'll stop at 12 and I'll go to bed. But I caught an idea. I caught an idea. and I wrote it out till like 3:30 in the. morning. I was just writing. Wow. And when I do that, I'm like, "Okay, that was productive." Even though I'm. tired and I woke up late today, even. though I'm tired, I'm like, "But that. was productive.". Wow. And if I can force myself to do that. three, four times a week. And sometimes, dude, I'll just sit in front of that. [ __ ] computer and it's just nonsense. It's just nonsense. It's nothing. It's.
embarrassing. It's terrible. It's. nothing to this. I'm trying to work it. out, you know? I'll [ __ ] take a. little that, go over it again. H. Sometimes nothing. Sometimes I got. nothing. But when you write something. though and you look at it, right, do you. go okay this is like a 60% like do you. do that? It totally depends. It depends. Sometimes it's like 100%. Some some bits. like as I write them that's exactly how. I perform them. It's not not normal but. it happens. Yeah.
And then some bits are just seeds. It's. just a seed and I got to throw that. [ __ ] on stage and see where it goes. And sometimes it doesn't go anywhere. Sometimes I think it's like Ron White. was telling the story the other day. about this joke that he had that he. thought was really funny and he had. planned I had it planned in my mind when. it was going to be a pause break. He. goes, "You got [ __ ] nothing.". Yeah. Yeah. It happens. Yeah. Yeah, it does. Yeah. But that's the beauty of creation. because every now and then like I have I. have this new bit that's killing and. it's so exciting to get to it because. it's like this is like this bit is.
alive. It's like it just it was just. born and it's just flexing, you know? It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. But it's it's also it's hard. But you got to, you know, you got to pay. devotion to the muse. You got to sit. down and and try to like let the ideas. come to you. If you don't have a moment. where you're just sitting down and just. letting the ideas come to you, you're. going to miss those ideas. And some. people say, "Oh, I only write on stage. I only write with my friends." That's. great. You should do that, too.
But there's nothing wrong with like. sitting. It's not going to hurt you to. sit in front of a computer and go over. your ideas and every now and then, maybe. every two times or five times, every 10. times you sit in front of that computer. or that notebook, something pops up that. wouldn't have popped up without it. Yeah. And you got to like suffer through the. ones that suck. That drudge of not being. able to come up with anything. My problem is I do I have these second. addictions. I have like video games,
right? in your front of the computer, you start playing video games. Yeah. And I'll just start playing. Starfield or something and 16 hours. later I'm on a planet and I'm making an. outpost, right? And I feel guilt. or I'll play Stardew Valley. I'll create. a farm. Yeah. Right. And it's but it's a haunting. thing. Like, what the [ __ ] are you. doing? What the [ __ ] are you doing? What. the [ __ ] are you doing? Right. You're wasting your time. I'm wasting my time. I know this. But. for same reason, I can convince myself. Well, here's the thing. If you do the. work first, like say if you sit down,
you say, "I can only play computer games. if I write a thousand words.". So when you get to a thousand on a word. document, you look at the bottom, it'll. tell you how many words you've written. And then you can stop. That's what I'm going to do. Yeah. Just earn it. Earn it. That way. you'll actually enjoy it. That way when. you're playing the games, there won't be. in your head, "Oh my god, I should be. writing. Oh my god, I should be doing. something else." And by the way, it. doesn't have to be you write something. funny. You could just write something. about something and then try to extract.
funny things out of it. Like you could just write a story about. like how violent your dad was like that. what you just told me, which is. horrific, right? Yeah. You if you wrote that out, I guarantee you there's going to be a. seed of something in there. Something. It might even not even be about your dad. being violent. It' be maybe it'd be. about how you react to violence or maybe. how you react to, you know, angry. people. I just want everybody to be. nice. You could find like a premise in.
there. So, just write an essay. Just write an. essay and write an essay with no. expectation of whether or not it's going. to be funny. Yeah. I used to do morning pages. Do you ever do that? No. Just get up in the morning and. write. Right when you wake up, apparently when. you just you just start writing. That's supposed to be the best time to. write. Yeah. where you don't have those like. filters and stuff like this sucks. Just. freely write it and then just pages of. it. Couple maybe a couple, you know what. I mean? And then later you look at it, you know what I mean? Maybe I'll start doing that again. I. don't [ __ ] know. That's how most writers do when they.
write. They write in the morning and. then they go for a walk. A lot of them. do and they listen to uh some of their. notes and they'll they'll go over the. idea that they wrote down and they'll. take voice notes while they're walking. There's something about walking they say. because it's like a very mild aerobic. exercise. So it stimulates your. circulation. It gets everything flowing. You actually think a little bit better. when you're walking. Okay? It's real. It's a it's you're not tired. It's a mild thing. So you're just out. there walking and your heart is pumping. and you're not sitting there sedentary.
just trying to think. You're actually. walking around. Okay. I'll try hiking then. Yeah. Hiking's good. Hiking is good. Yeah. Hike after you uh then you'll. really have earned your video games, right? write and then hike and think. think about what you write and then you. when you play you'll be playing for fun. You'll be enjoying it. From this day forth from this day fourth. I'm going to wake up. I'm making an. announcement. I'm going to wake up. I'm. going to write for an hour. Okay. Right. Hike and then I'm going to play. video games.
I'm going to see you four months from. now. You're going to be cracked out with. a cling on knife. You went off the rails. It was too much. pressure. I was getting up every. morning. I was writing and I was hiking. and it was just too much. Yeah. No, I. and my fish died. I have to do it because now it's it's. incredible. Like, you know, when I do. shows with Siguro or me and Andrew, you. know, cuz I'm on a podcast called Bad. Friends. It's a funny podcast. Thank you. You guys are good together. I want to. talk to you about an episode that I saw. about uh you you having to go to Israel. Was that on that or was that somewhere.
else? Yeah. Was that. What was that like? Tell me what. happened. God, do you not want to talk about it? I can. do it because I'm not saying anything. that's like wrong. It's just something. that happened. I get a call from Steve Burn. Okay. And Steve goes, "You want to go to. Israel?". How long ago is this? 14 years ago, maybe. Oh. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. 12, 14, I don't know. And I go, "Why? I. don't want to do a show there." And he. goes, "No, you know, I got a call and.
they're flying out a bunch of comedians. and actors and it's a free trip.". And I go, "Why?" I don't know. They just. want to show us the country and their. culture and you get nice hotels, free. meals, and you get a tour of like. And you're not performing, nothing. Okay. So I went there with Jamie Chung, Brian Greenberg, they're actors, and. Steve Lopez went out, George Lopez. Okay. And we went out there and then when we.
got there, they were like, "Welcome.". We're like, "Thanks." And they were. like, "But every day you have to tweet. how great Israel is. every day.". Yeah. Like put out a tweet. They told you you have to. And they. didn't say anything about that before. you left. I don't remember them saying it before, but they might have. They could have, right? Maybe they said it to Steve and. Steve conveniently left it out. I don't know. But I I just I do know. that I I feel like if they did say it. that I would have questioned it, right?
You know what I mean? Yeah. So where. So this is the early days of Twitter, right? So when was. Twitter's only like 12 years old? It was 10 years ago then. I don't know. how long how old Twitter. Oh, there it is. 2006. Israel unfiltered. See 2006. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that. So 2006. When was that? Look at your face. Yeah. Like I was. like, I have to tweet. Yeah. Yeah. But here's what happened. As. soon as I tweeted the first thing. Mhm. I already knew like, "Oh my god, I think.
I'm in trouble.". Why? What' you say? I just said, "Israel is great. They're. beautiful people." You know what I mean? Okay. And then like it was just like and they. flew us out here for free. And then you. would just get a thousand like, you know. what I mean? That that were like, you. know, Palestinian, you know? Oh. and going, "You mother," you know, and just it was like negative, negative, negative. And there was these gigantic wars that. would go on in the comment section. It just got really uncomfortable. And. then I just remember, you know, Yeah.
There I am. You nice hat. I used to wear that all the time. I know. I look cute with it. Is that the famous wall? That's the wall. Yeah. What it feel like to be around that. wall? That wall is old as [ __ ] right? How old is that wall? I put a note in it. Wow. You could write little letters. You know. what I mean? Letters to Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. And I just You put it in. there. Jesus, when you come out. I think mine was like, "Let me get more. [ __ ] or whatever." But Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like. that wall, how old is that wall? 19 BC. 19 BC. Yeah. Wow. But then toward the end, I was just.
like, I got to get the [ __ ] out of here. I think I was like, how many tweets did you make? And did. you kept going after they were attacking. you? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, you have to. Otherwise, you don't get. your hotel. Yeah, it was like a free thing. And I didn't know the significance of it. until later almost like you know what I. mean or the significance but like what. the impact of it you know. because I I you know obviously you know. um I mean obviously I have my opinions. about it you know what I mean that I I'm. keeping to myself but it's like you know.
it's not fully aligned you know I mean. with what people think that I should be. you know. you have to be careful because I live in. LA and you know. oh I hear you look it's a complicated. issue. it's so complicated. and It's terrifying. It's ter. Will you. look at the video of uh when they do an. overhead of what Gaza used to look like. and what it looks like now? I it I just. I mean. it just I just. it's insane. It's [ __ ] insane. Saw yesterday it's going to take over a. year to clean up just the rubble.
Oh my god. But it's like 25,000 now. at least. At least. They don't know how many people are. dead. They have no idea. And just the half of the population is. women and children. And the trauma. Uh-huh. and the [ __ ] you know, famine. It's just it's just I just can't even. comprehend it really. Yeah. And the Israelis tell you that. it's necessary and that they they have. to get rid of Hamas and this is the way. to do it. But just. I mean I believe that I believe I. believe that I believe that maybe that.
that's should be but I think the. approach could be different. Yeah. Right. I don't have any expertise in war. either, but I'm horrified. that they can just shoot missiles into. buildings and they tell people to get. out, but then they bomb the areas where. they're going, too. I mean, the whole. thing's nuts, man. It's nuts and it's so. dangerous. It's so dangerous. These Free. Palestine marches that are happening all. over the world, those are all organized,
too, by the way. M. those when you get on social media and. you see the free Palestine people and. the pro-Israel people, what percentage. of those people are bots, right? It's not zero. It's not zero. There's a. lot of what's getting stirred up, a lot. of the hateful things that are being. said, a lot of the crazy things that are. being said. I guarantee you a lot of. that's being instigated by foreign. countries. And that's what's scary about. social media and the influence it has on. people and the way they feel about a. particular issue. And that's on top of. the horrific nature of the issue itself,
bolt of October 7th, which is undeniably. horrific, horrific, and then this. And. then on top of that, you have this open. anti-semitism that we never saw before. where it's just open everywhere. It's wild. It's [ __ ] terrible. It's so scary, man. But it's also an issue that will never. be resolved. But it's not just that it'll never be. resolved. Like I never thought it was. going to be an issue where the. presidents of like major universities. were standing in front of Congress and.
they were justifying people saying death. to the Jews that it wasn't harassment. unless it was actionable. I tell you that's insane. Yeah. Like what? Like what? And then when when. the congresswoman was trying to get them. to expand on that? Do you mean actual. genocide? Then it's harassment. When. they commit actual genocide, what the. [ __ ] are you saying? But it's the same. thing we were talking about. It's the. cult. They're in that leftist cult and. it's not reasonable. It doesn't make any. sense. It's all crazy. Oh, and when they were like Osama bin.
Laden and could have been riot or. whatever that Do you remember that. [ __ ] trend? Oh, yeah. [ __ ] insane. Mhm. What are you talking about? And these. are people, right, that weren't there. I. was there. That's a Tik Tok thing, too, by the way. Yeah. Osama bin Laden. in 2000, right? Or when 2000 2001, I was. on Matt TV. 911 happened. I went to work. the next day. Andrew Daly, one of the. actors, his cousin was on one of the. flights. Oh, geez. Right. And I I could feel the pain, right? And. you know, we were inundated with the the.
[ __ ] footage. Yeah. And just in the moment, it was [ __ ]. horrifying. Yeah. It It changed America. 100%. 100%. And now people that weren't even. around then, kids, which is fine, but. now they have these grand ideas about. It's insane. Well, it's also what where. did Osama bin Laden come from? Well, he. came from the CIA funding them the. Mujahaden to fight against the Soviet. Union.
They're trained. They're trained by. Americans. Look, there's a certain reality to. American imperialism. It doesn't do. anybody any good to deny it. We have. military bases everywhere. If you were a foreign country in a. nationalistic foreign country, of course. you'd hate America. Of course you'd hate. what we do. I mean, look at what's going. on right now with this Ukraine Russia. thing. Look at how much money is being. funneled through that. How much insane. amounts of money? Yeah. And most of it's like embezzled, right? Who [ __ ] knows? But again, it's not.
zero. It's not 0%. It's getting. embezzled. And the fact that all of a sudden no one. wanted to admit that Ukraine had always. been a very corrupt country. There's a. crazy Twitter exchange between Candace. Owens and the New York Times where. Candace Owens was talking about how. corrupt Ukraine is. And then the New. York Times says to her like, "What. evidence do you have that Ukraine is. corrupt?" She goes, "Oh, you mean the. links from your [ __ ] newspaper?" And. just from like 2016 and before that,
there's all these [ __ ] stories about. how corrupt Ukraine is in the New York. Times. They didn't even bother looking. it up because when you're in the cult, the cult says you support Ukraine. Do. you want Ukraine to win or do you want. Russia to win? Like, what the [ __ ] are. you even saying? How much do you know. about why this thing was instigated in. the first place? How much do you know. about NATO? About how much they're moving arms. closer to the Soviet Union, about how. Ukraine joining NATO was always a red. flag. Do you do you know? I don't know. I don't know nothing. Most people that are talking about it.
don't know either. That was the red line. that you could not cross. You Ukraine. joining Russia or joining NATO rather. The whole thing's [ __ ] terrifying. because we're dealing with nuclear. superpowers. When Xi Jinping tells Biden. that Taiwan will join China again. Like. that means they're going to take Taiwan. What are we going to do if they take. Taiwan? Are we gonna f And then Biden. says we're not going to do anything. Like okay. First he said we're going to. stop them. Now he says we're not going. to do anything. like, oh my god. And.
he's only saying whatever the [ __ ] they. write down for him. The whole thing's. nuts. It's like, who's deciding what. happens and doesn't happen? It's not. that guy, right? So, if it's not him, who the [ __ ] is it? Is it the secretary. of state? Is it is it the press. secretary? Who's who's is it the. military-industrial complex? Are they. completely at the helm? Will they ever. let control of that wheel to anybody. else now that they have it? Is it the Is it the [ __ ] you think about. when you lay in bed at night? Mhm. Yeah.
How the [ __ ] do you sleep? Sometimes I don't. That's That's a real. problem at night. Yeah. At night I have my most anxietyfilled. moments about this stuff. I I've talked. about it openly. Wow. Like I'll really freak out at night. because I I legitimately think. we are one or two events away from. living in the stone age again. And I think it could happen in our. lifetime and it could happen to you and. I. Like I'm I'm really convinced that. the fabric of society is way more. fragile than anyone appreciates. Yeah.
That most people appreciate rather. I mean, I feel it in the air. Yeah. Well, you saw it during the George. Floyd times in LA. Oh, yeah. I felt it. Yeah. That was Mad Max times, right? When they were burning those cop cars on. the highway and I I remember seeing that. going, I got to get the [ __ ] out of. here. This ain't going to get better. Was it that or CO that made me both and. the money? Probably like taxes. No, that. was not even a consideration. It was. nice, but it was the freedom. It was. these [ __ ] [ __ ] like the mayor of. Los Angeles telling everybody what. businesses they can and can't have open,
what's essential and non-essential. Like, says who? Yeah. And after a while, when a bunch of. people had had co and then gotten over. it and they were fine, I was like, well, wait a minute. Like, how how scary is. this? And why are we closing everything. down? Why aren't we giving people. choice? And it never opened. I bought into it. Of course you did. I didn't even leave the house for two. [ __ ] years. I didn't even go to the grocery store. and I had to spray I had to spray. everything down. Doritos spraying it. with It was insane. Well, my whole. family got it early on before there was.
anything. Before there was a vaccine, before was anything. And I didn't get it. And I didn't do. anything different. I hugged my kids. I. [ __ ] my wife. I hung out with them. I just could took care of myself. You You've had a co though, right? Yeah, I got it eventually. Yeah, I got. it. I got it when the Delta variant was. around. I got it when I was doing arenas. in Florida. And I was g got it because I was hanging. out with my friend John Shman. My friend. John Showman is a a buddy of mine who. makes pool cues and he lives right there. and I got to see him after the show and.
we played pool till like 3:30 in the. morning and I was exhausted. I had like. [ __ ] five margaritas and then I got. sick. But even then it wasn't that bad. But my point is like my whole family got. it and I didn't get it. They they weren't vaccinated. No, no, there was no vaccine back then. Okay. So, yeah. And I didn't do anything different, man. Yeah. I I remember I worked out two days. where I was tired and I realized I was. fighting something off. Like there was. two days where I was in the gym. I was. like, you know what? I'm just going to. go through the motions here. I'm just. going to lift light weights and just.
like let my body like break a little bit. of a sweat, but no exertion. Just get. some circulation going. So, I did like. some some kettle bell exercises, like 35. lbs. Nothing strenuous, like you know, just nice and light and just get the. body moving. And then the next day I. went back in the gym. I feel the same. same thing today. Same thing. Did some. push-ups, did some chin-ups, nothing. crazy, like five reps of five chin-ups, not just a little bit of exercise, nothing extrrenuous. And then the next. day I felt great. The next day I had a.
full regular workout. So whatever it. was, I fought it off. And so then I was. like, well, what what is at play here? How much of it how much of can your. immune system stop this or is it. something that you 100% get? No. It. seems very infectious but also things. seems like if you have a healthy immune. system this isn't a death sentence. This. isn't Ebola. This isn't so what the [ __ ]. is going on? And then the vaccine came. out and I signed up to get vaccinated. The UFC had this whole a lotment of. vaccines but I was there on a Friday for.
the UFC and they said you have to go to. the clinic and I said I can't. I don't. have the time. Um they said can you come. back Monday? I said, "No, but it'll be. back in two weeks." So, I was going to. get vaccinated in two weeks. And in the. two weeks, they pulled it. They pulled. the Johnson and Johnson for blood clots. And two people I knew got strokes. Two. people. Oh my god. Two people. Wow. Within the 10 days of taking that. vaccine, two people I knew had strokes. Yeah. Like healthy people. Like weird blood. clots. People were getting blood clots. Weird people. I mean, it is true that if you were.
older though, like 70, and you had some. sort of like, you know what I mean? Corebidity. What's the word? Co-orbidities. Coorbidity, right? That they could die, right? I mean, that's a true thing, right? Look at Herman Kane, he died. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like they die of the flu, too. I mean, it's a bad cold. It's not. dismissing what what it is, but it's. dismissing this control that all of a. sudden the mel the medical industrial. complex and the government has over you. and your job and your choices in your. life. for something that now they admit they.
could have never contained, that it was. never going to stop transmission, that. it was never going to stop infection. It. was all just lies. They lied about the. efficacy. They lied about the protection. in parts. They they put it out on MSNBC. Rachel Matto. The virus stops with you. You can't get it. It's not true. It was. not true. There was no There was no. evidence that it did that. Not only was. there no evidence, they never even. tested it for transmission. They just. tested it to try to see if it makes. antibodies. But what scared me was when Michael Yo, remember you know Michael Yo? Oh yeah. when he was in the ICU.
because of co. in my mind I don't know why because I. know that Michael Yo is athletic. Yeah. And I thought to myself, "Oh, if if he's. in the IC, I would have died." You know. what I mean? Like I [ __ ] his mom got it. and she was fine. It's Michael Yo, he's weak. I don't know what it is, man. He It. could have caught him absolutely. exhausted, maybe. Yeah, that's what I've heard of people getting. it really bad. It catches them when they. go on a bender. And that's what happened. with me. I was I was drinking till 3:30. in the morning. I think when drinking first of all is.
absolutely terrible for your body and. terrible for your immune system. And if. you're drinking like I was drinking. these five super sweet, super potent. margaritas, we were hammered, you know. And then I was actually I came. from a show too. So I did a show that. night. I probably had a couple drinks at. the show. So it's like you're not in a. good place to fight off anything like. that. you're exhausted and drunk and. then I've been sick that way many times. The times in my past when I've caught a.
cold or caught the flu, it's almost. always when I'm run down. Almost always. So, I don't know, maybe. Michael Yo was really run down when he. got it. I know a guy who got CO really. bad because him and his buddies were. drinking. They were drinking and they. were partying and they he was really. [ __ ] up and then the next day CO hit. him bad. But he was weak. Like his his. body was weakened by a bender. Like they. were drunk all night and then in the. morning started feeling like [ __ ] and. then it caught them bad. Yeah. But when I got I was really bad.
But I I lived through it. It was fine. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of different things that. were at play there. First of all, there. was just general metabolic health that. was completely ignored. People told you. all you have to do is get vaccinated. That's horshit. Your your immune system. is complex and it relies on a bunch of. different things to keep it effective. Relies on good nutrition. It relies on. sleep. It relies on low stress. It. relies on vitamins and nutrients, healthy diet, exercise, all those things. were huge factors. And they ignored.
every single one of them. When you look. at the number of people that died of. COVID, something like 90 plus% had four. plus coorbidities. Four plus cancer, diabetes, heart attack risk. Fill in the. blank. Four. co-orbidities. 90 plus% of them. Yeah, it's not that it's not bad. Of course, it's bad. But it's, you know what's. worse? You [ __ ] telling. everybody what they have to do and not. have to do. You You [ __ ].
telling people they could shut their. businesses down and they have to take. this experimental medication regardless. of whether or not they have natural. immunity. Dude, it was Gestapo [ __ ]. I'm with you, buddy. I'm with you. It was It was [ __ ] mind control. It. was totalitarian authoritarian tactics. They were limiting people's livelihood, limiting people's ability to travel, shaming people. The [ __ ] government. released during Omocron, which was. nothing but a cold. They released this. thing for the people that have been.
vaccinated, you did your job. For those. unvaccinated, you experience a winter, what is it? Severe illness and death. You're looking towards a winter of. severe illness and death. When when. Biden's on TV, our patience is wearing. thin. We've been patient, but our. patience is wearing Hey, [ __ ]. Our patience is wearing thin with you. You can't even form a goddamn sentence, you [ __ ] zombie. What are you talking. about? Your patience is wearing thin. You're not even looking at data. You're. not talking about reality. You're.
talking to the cult. Can I ask you why are they so reluctant. to not give us a different option there? Because it's control. Because the. whenever there's anything that happens. in the world, whether it's 911 and. through 911 they passed the Patriot Act. and there was a devastating blow to free. speech and control and just your ability. to have privacy. The government had full. reign to listen to all your phone calls, listen to read all your emails, and. they're doing it right now. And the the. NSA is doing it right now. They can.
listen to any any time you make a phone. call to someone. It's all getting. recorded. Yeah, but when we complain. like Biden's a little too old, maybe can. we find a different option? They're just. not even they're not even open to the. idea of it. It's just like no, he's the. guy. He's not in control right now, right? So, if the people who are in control are. in control right now, why would they. want to swap out a new person? Deep state. Well, for real, is a deep state. Listen, yeah, you could put whatever words you want, but if you don't think that these. corporations that donate insane amounts.
of money to political campaigns, have an. influence on what happens in the world, you're naive. That's a silly way to. think of things. Now, if you've got a. guy who basically has no mind, and he is. your figurehead, if you can keep him. alive for four years, you just run it. the way you're running it right now. Wow. All you have to do is get that other guy. arrested a ton of times. Just keep keep. arresting them. keep trumping up new. trumping up new charges. Yeah. Put him out there in the [ __ ] news. every day. Terrible things he's done and. he's an authoritarian. He's going to.
lock all the gays up. If you just say that enough, the the. people that are uninformed and aren't. paying attention, they're going to. listen. And then if you have mail in. ballots and if you have a voter machine. shenanigans, if you can [ __ ] sway. things one way or another, then you stay. in power. Do you you stay in power? So you believe. same person stays as the figurehead and. the same people run it now. Do you believe the election was stolen. then? No. Okay. I believe that there are without a doubt. in every election there's election.
fraud. Sure. It's like what's the number? So that's. what I say. I don't know what the number. is. I know Trump apparently released a. whole bunch of documents showing. irregularities, showing that the mail. and ballots were incorrect. This the. mail and ballots is something Putin. talked about recently. He said the 2020. elections were stolen. They use mail and. balance. But who knows why he's saying. but these things happen every cycle, right? Every election these things. happen. There's irregularities. Hillary. claimed that she won, you know? I mean, John Kerry claimed that he won. Al Gore.
claimed that he won. Remember the. dangling Chads. in Florida. In Florida. Yeah. Yeah. The the idea of. But the difference is But the difference. is that the AL though went okay, I'm. going to concede and. sort of it took a long time. you know, the the Al Gore um George Bush won. How. long did that go on before he conceded? I want to say it was a a few months. I don't think it was as simple as just. conceding. Okay. I think the Al Gore uh George Bush one. went on for quite a while if I remember. correctly because I remember being.
confused like, "Wow, this never happened. before.". A month or so. A month. A month or so. Okay. 13th. So, think of that. Think of like a whole. month where they're trying to decide if. it's true, right? It's [ __ ] weird. And there was a. documentary that HBO did back when Bush. was president during these times. Well, this was when it was okay to deny the. election because it was a Republican. that was in office. Uh, and there was a. documentary called Hacking Democracy. And in that documentary, they were using. I think they were using Diebold. machines. And Diebold, they also make a. lot of ATM machines. They make various.
machines. But what they had found in. this documentary was that there was the. ability to have a third-party input. So. first party input is you, you're the. voter. Second party is me, I collect the. vote. Third party input was also there. And so they used that on the documentary. to change the vote. So they used it to change the numbers. Wow. And they showed that they can do it. Wow. I'll send you something, Jamie. I don't. know if this is true, but someone said. that someone had just done this.
uh recently. Here, I'll send you this. because this is just something that. someone tweeted. Um, I don't I don't. know if it's true, but I wanted to send. it to Jamie so Jamie could research it. Um, but what this says. is that in federal court in Atlanta, Georgia, computer scientist and. engineering professor J. Alex Haldderman. was able to hack a Dominion voting. tabulator in front of US District Judge. Amy Totenberg using only a pen to change.
the vote totals. That happened this time. supposedly. Wow. Now, this is a this is a tweet from just. a couple of days ago. Wow. It was a tweet from actually a tweet. from. when was it? Anyway, I don't know if. that's true. Uh but that's crazy if it. is. Yeah, this is this is actually from two days. ago. Wow. This person tweeted this. Now, we'll. we'll look see if that's horshit and see.
what But here's the thing. When you have. computers, if you have a phone, like. with Pegasus, Pegasus was the first one. that, by the way, the Israelis created. Pegasus. And Pegasus was a software that. that's what they used to get Jeff Bezos. when they got his dickpicks and all that. [ __ ]. Oh, yeah. The good ones. Good ones. Good. ones. It's kind of solid. When uh they. did that with him, what they did was. someone sent him a link in WhatsApp. I. think it was uh the head of Saudi Arabia. sent him allegedly sent him a link in.
WhatsApp. He clicked the link and then. Pegasus was downloaded on his phone. Now. you don't even have to click a link. anymore. Now they can get Pegasus on. your phone. All they need is your phone. number. I could have Pegasus now. They probably do. You probably do. You have it? I'm sure. Oh no. How can we detect it? Is there an. app? I don't believe so. Okay. I don't I. think. according to Gavin Debecker, who's a. securities expert, these things are. constantly evolving and they get better. all the time. They don't tell you when. they're better. Yeah. They just they just have better.
technology. Yeah. And but but he's aware of Pegasus 2. And. he said with Pegasus 2, all they need is. your phone number. Yeah. But but Joe, can I ask you. something? Mhm. What? Can't you just shut it off and not I. mean there's so many people in this. country just walk around and they just. don't all these things that we're. talking about right now they don't think. about it they just live their lives. Don't you think that that's a happier. life or not? Um it depends on whether or.
not your voice actually matters. So if. you can change the way people think and. you can change the way people look at. things and then those people vote in. such mass numbers that you can't make. stealing the vote possible. because enough people realize it's. horseshit to the point where the. overwhelming majority you you would have. to like have fraud that's so apparent. that no one would buy into it. It' be a. national scandal. We need whistleblowers.
We have them. We put them in jail and. look at Edward Snowden. He has to live. in Russia now. Look at Julian Assange. He's [ __ ]. Yeah. They've been prosecuting that guy. forever. And if you ask what the crime. is, it's nothing. He's a journalist. I just feel so stressed out right now. Why? Cuz that's the reality. It's stressing. me out. That's the reality that we live in. We. live in a very dangerous, complicated. world. Yeah. How a University of Michigan computer. scientist changed results of a.
hypothetical referendum on Sunday. alcohol sales. He flipped the winner in. a theoretical election between President. George Washington and Benedict Arnold, the Revolutionary War general who. defected to the British. He rigged the. machine to print out as many ballots as. he wanted. Wow. As he needed, all he needed, excuse me, was a pen to reach a button inside the. touchcreen, a fake $10 voter card that. he had programmed, or a $100 USB device. that he plugged into a cord connected to. a printer, rewriting rewriting the. touchscreen's code. Haldderman delivered.
his presentation during an election. security trial evaluating whether. Georgia's voting system is vulnerable to. manipulation or programming errors. All. in-person voters in Georgia make their. choices on touchcreens that print out. paper ballots. Now, I believe Georgia. was supposed to update their uh machines. and then there was a talk of when they. were going to do it. And uh I think it's. a it's it's also have to take into. consideration other than just. corruption. It might also be a budget. issue.
that the headline says election. officials say these vulnerabilities are. merely speculative. Oh, merely. speculative. It's safe and effective. Our election is safe and effective. These people dropping dead, these 40%. increase in all cause mortalities. Yeah. Ages 18 to 34 is nothing to concern. yourself with. That's normal. Yeah. But it's merely speculatively. These. people all have your best interest in. mind. Is that a cigar? These are little baby cigars. Can I have one? Yeah, sure. Okay. You're okay with me nicotine cigars?
I'm not gonna inhale it. You want a real cigar? A big one? No, the little ones. You want like a a real cigar? I like them. Yeah. Why don't you have one of these? Cuban? Yeah. No, these are um they're from. Nicaragua. These are JRE cigars. Oh, [ __ ]. They're actually really good. Yeah. Here, I'll open it for you. Um this is. what I think, man. Okay. I think evil's real and I think. evil exists in many forms and it exists. in callous disregard for loss of life. for profit. That's evil, right? And. that's a real thing. Like you could say. evil is the devil. Here's a little.
lighter here, buddy. You could say evil is Satan and evil is. demons and evil is, you know, exorcisms. and [ __ ] There you go. Look at that, baby. But also evil is profit over human life, which is real. evil is cobalt mines in. in the Congo. When you watch pregnant. women mining for cobalt and getting. toxic fumes in their lungs while they. some of them have babies on their back, that's evil. That's evil. They're living. in dirt floors with no sanitation. It's.
horrific conditions and that is in. everybody's cell phone. In everyone's. cell phone is the labor of essentially. people so poor they don't have to choose. whether they're slaves or not. they just. have there's no other option for them to. work. But there's a power powerlessness. that one feels like what is little Bobby. Lee going to do about any of this. So. it's like a lot of times I'm just like. you know everything that you said I'm. with you but I'm just saying that like. it stresses me out.
It should. Yeah. And I walk and and I want to walk. around a little bit more free and you. know. you deserve that. Yeah. You're a comedian man. You you provide h. laughter and you help people and if if. it's [ __ ] you up knowing about all. this [ __ ] that's happening in the world. that can get in the way of your job. Yeah. Yeah. Look, it's it's not an obligation to pay. attention to everything. Okay. But it is something that I think would. help people break out of the cult cuz. that cult it's like you think you're a.
good person if you go buy hook line and. sink or everything that the left says. That's crazy. These are the same people. that want war. These are the same people. that are encouraging censorship. These. are the same people that are trying to. silence dissent. That's that's all totalitarian [ __ ] And. just because it's done for trans kids or. for Black Lives Matter or for any social. cause that you think is like undeniably. worthy, it's still the same thing. At. the end of the day, the Patriot Act.
still controlled people in a way that. was never allowed before and it did it. under the guise that we have to stop a. terrorist attack. Yeah. So even if they. don't do evil [ __ ] to make these things. happen, once these things happen, they. take advantage by doing evil [ __ ] and. they enact control over the people that. they never had before. And. that's what they did during co and the. redistribution of wealth was insane. Yeah. The we redistribution of wealth to. big corporations and companies profited. back.
Oh my god. So many people the billions. of dollars was moved. Yeah. Wow. It just stresses me out. You want. to talk about the movie? Yeah. Can we talk Can we talk about the movie. I'm promoting? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's your movie, Bobby? Oh, I I'm I'm barely in it. and they're making me You know what I. mean? But it's like Well, they're making. you do promo and you're barely in it. Well, I have four scenes. What's it called? It's called uh drugstore June. What's it. about?
Uh it's about um a girl Esther, right? And she was she she works at a. pharmacy. I play a far the main. pharmacist. And it's basically she plays sort of. like a Gen Z, you know, I mean, girl. that's kind of out of touch. It's kind. of like a Juno, you know, I mean, but. more modern. And it's what I like about. it, Joe, is this. Okay. Is that you. know, I um. can I talk about Hollywood real quick? Sure. They're still gatekeepers, right? And. for me, it's like I think I'm perceived.
as dangerous. I don't know why because. I'm on a podcast, I say [ __ ] Yeah. Right. And it's like I'm always the fourth. option. It goes Ronnie, Jimmy, Ken Jung. Right. And I like acting, right? So it's. like I think this is cool because it's. like. everyone that's involved in it are dear. friends of mine. You know what I mean? Pretty much everyone in the movie are. people like Miss Pat and people that I. know. Oh, cool. And it's cool to like have Yeah, it's Let's watch the trailer. Okay. If you were going to give me a.
consultation for plastic surgery, it's not what I do here. But just if you were, what do you think. you would do to my face? I'd probably start with your mouth. The lip filler? No, I would sew that sucker shut. [Music]. I'm a loser. Your Facebook group is. right. I have no life. What did you ever. see in this psycho?
Oh, I messed it up. I need a coffee. break. You haven't even clocked in yet. I haven't been getting paid for any of. this. Oh, give me a double macchiato. I brought you some hot chocolate. You're interrupting my stream. Okay. Bye, June. squad. [Music]. Oh, thank you, J. What? Ew. I heard at the pharmacy got robbed. What the hell happened in here? What's.
your name? Forever June on everything except snap. at June forever. No, honey. Your real. life actual name. June. June. This is not Queen June's private castle. June the Almighty. Oh, June. Oh my god. The poor man that ends up. with. [Music].
Help us out here. God, mug shots are so sexy. Can I take. this home? No, you cannot.
Oh, so that's the first time you've seen the. clip? Yeah. Well, Abby, you know, Abby Levato, my manager, she saw it. She was like, "It's pretty. good.". And when she said that, I was like, "I. don't want to watch." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, I got to promote it. I. gota. I'm sure you're great in it. [Laughter]. I'm sure you're great in it. You're. hilarious. But I I want to say though that it's. like, you know, it's our our friends.
It's like, you know, you and your. friends got together and we made a movie. and I heard it's great and it's going to. go into theaters. Oh, there's all these. things. I'm going to see it. I'm going. to eventually see it. Yeah. I can't. watch myself. I say something. I've been. to movies. I get invited to premieres. I. leave. Yeah. I don't want to watch me. But. this was pretty good. Oh, that's me in. uh Death and Ramen. Yeah, I'm pretty good in this. in a short that just came out on. YouTube. It's like 15 minutes long. Okay. Yeah, but I I'm okay in that. Yeah. Yeah. You want to get into acting? You're enjoying it. Can I ask you, you don't like it?
No, I don't like the process. I love. movies though. You're great in news radio. Thank you very much. Huge laughs. It's fun. Yeah. Standup's more fun. It is. But why can't you do all of it? Because I don't want to deal with all. those people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I did Fear Factor. I don't. want to deal with actors anymore. When. Fear Factor came along, I was like, "Oh, this is perfect.". Not that there's anything wrong with. that. And the the cast on News Radio are. amazing. It's just you you deal with a certain. kind of person that is 60% insane. 60% of them are insane.
Yeah. 40% of them are cool as [ __ ]. But it's just like I don't. they can't they're not fun to joke. around with. They're shitty. They. backstab. They [ __ ] They undermine. you. They go to producers and, you know, try to rewrite your words and say it. conflicts with my lines. There's like. weird ego [ __ ] goes on with them. They're weird, man. They're weird. people. They are weird. But what the jobs I have. now, like I did reservation dogs. I did. um I'm on Sex in the City, the new one. Oh, how's that?
It's I I said no to it for the first. couple of times they were like, "You. want to do it?" Because I just didn't. think that it was the right fit. I had. never seen it. I know it's this big. cultural thing, but I just basically says all I want to. do is feel comfortable, dude. I said that to MPK, the showrunner, because I don't want to go in there and. feel like. like people are mean and I'm stressed. out. I I don't need it. Yeah. And he he he was he comforted me. He was. like, "No, we want you on the show." And. I, you know, I would go to New York and. everyone was super sweet. Like I'm I put.
myself in situations that aren't that. I've had [ __ ] directors call me a. panface [ __ ]. What? Yeah, I had a director call me that. once. Was he also? No, he was a white. What? Yeah. How long ago? In the '9s. Wow. I don't want to call the director. He's. a big director. Holy [ __ ] man. And he called the other actor a [ __ ]. Oh my god. He's a get on your mark, you pan face. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. This is back, you know, when. it wasn't Whoa. Is he alive? Yeah. So, he's doing movies still. I I want to so badly tell you who it is,
but. what's his name rhyme with? I'm not playing this game. I know the internet. Will you tell me later? Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's gonna go through your IMDb and. they're going to find some likely. candidates. Maybe we should do that. Yeah. Let the internet do it. Maybe we could play warmer. Warmer. Yeah. Warmer. No, no, no, no. One time this director, the same I worked for this. Italian. No, I'm not playing this game. [ __ ] you. Okay. One time I [ __ ] up on a line. and he he made the whole uh everyone.
like the cameraman, everyone and the. wardrobe form a circle. They put me in the middle of the circle. and he goes, "Point your finger." And. they all pointed their finger at me and. he goes, "Repeat after me. You're the. worst actor on planet Earth.". Oh my god. And they all did that. And tears welled. up in my eyes. And I remember a wardrobe. lady looked at me and she goes, "I'm so. sorry.". Oh my god. Yeah. I mean, I had I've had I had. Michael Bae do something to me. What did Michael Bay do to you? He grabbed my face aggressively. Whoa.
Why? What did you do to him? Did you. grab his balls? Did you wake up and do you like sucking. on his balls? I don't do that. I do that for comics. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I don't do it when I'm like on a. No, I did this. So, I booked this. commercial with Eric Stone Street, right? You know, Eric Eric, he's on. Modern Family. Okay. He plays the fat gay guy in it. Sure. Sure. So, we played Tower Boys. with um Kim Catrell. So, it was a I for. it was a Pepsi commercial, I think. And. she was in this bathtub and I had never. acted before. You know, Joe, like I'm a. stand. I I come from the same place you.
come, which is open mics and. Yeah. I didn't learn how to act. I don't. know the [ __ ] that. I don't know what a jib camera is or a. mark or any of that [ __ ] Right. So, I had this scene where I had to. bring these Oh, [ __ ] I had to bring. these towels into a [ __ ] you know, he. was like stacked. That was a joke. And. he would go, "Your face needs to be in. the light." And I go, "Oh, I don't I. don't know." So I try to tilt every. tape, the light, the light. Right. And.
then like by the eighth one, he came. from behind the thing and he grabbed my. face like this. He goes, "Here, here.". And like tears. will No, don't feel bad for me. I'm a. survivor. That's your Holocaust. That was your actual being on a movie. and Michael Bay tells you to put your. face towards the light. Yeah. But in the '9s, I experience that. [ __ ] Right. Well, that seems like you really weren't. putting your face towards the light and. he was freaking out cuz they could only.
do that take so many times. I'm kind of. on team bay on. You are really? Yeah. He just turned your face. Oh, you're right. You're making it sound. like. You're right. You're right. [ __ ] you. You're right. You're right. You're. right. You're right. Beat your ass. You're right. You're absolutely. But. but. also when you when you come when you. come from a background like me. Yes. with your dad [ __ ] acting crazy. When people scream, right? It [ __ ] you. It feel you feel it. You got triggered. Yeah. Like ter What's a Robocop? What's. his name? The original Robocop. Peter.
Peter Weir. Weir. Yeah. He's a screamer. Screams. Yeah. So I Yeah. So I was on to you. Yeah. I was on Magnum. He does it to. everyone, right? Oh yeah. Back in the. day, we wouldn't have sides. You can't. remember one line. He would like yell. straight like that, right? Really? And every time he would do it, I would. like tense up. I'm not a [ __ ] dude. I get it. I'm a warrior. Okay. Wow. Yeah. And then and then, right, I just. went to the showrunner. I go, I just. next time I'm on the side, maybe not.
him. So, they just did it, you know? But. anyway, now I do [ __ ] that's like where. I feel like I'm wanted. and I'll do it, right? So it's not like that crazy. [ __ ] where I need back then I needed. it, right? When someone would say something. horrible to you, you just have. you would absorb it. But there was also no recourse back. then. I mean that's how you get to like. a Harvey Weinstein, right? A guy who has. just ultimate control, can do whatever. the [ __ ] he wants and does. Ruins. people's lives and careers if they don't.
accept his advances. That's where I mean that whole business. has always been about powerful people. abusing the people that they that had to. listen to them from casting directors. all the way up to producers different. then. Yeah. Yeah. Look, Tarantino was in here and he's. talking about this old school director. who had his office had a bedroom where. he take the starlets. All the starlets. had to [ __ ] him. Oh my god. Had a bedroom in his [ __ ] office. So,
everyone just assumed if a casting, you. know, thing was going on and a girl came. into his office, he [ __ ] her. And 20 years ago, I would have done it. I think. you think so. I I think that if. I I know I think that if it was a huge. director. Mhm. right? No, I would suck his dick maybe. Really? I think I wouldn't say I wouldn't tell. you. Well, there's definitely. I would just cry. You could have fielded some offers if. that was out there. What? You could have gotten some offers if. that was out there. Maybe you weren't like open enough.
of your desire to make it. Yeah. I just think that back then I was. like so like I had no money, right? And in my mind I would be like, "Oh, this is the way it's supposed to happen, right?". Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if imagine if you're. an actress, right, and you you come out. to Hollywood from [ __ ] Kansas, you're 20 years old and you you are all. of a sudden in this producers's office. and he's 50 and he's been banging stars. for 20 [ __ ] years and you don't know. how it all works and he explains to you,
"Listen honey, this is how it works in. this business." You're like, "Well, I. mean, okay, do you want to be an. actress?" And you're kind of mentally. ill anyway, right? And you're like, "Yeah, I do so much.". Yeah. Yeah. Like no one has to know about this. Oh, okay. You won't tell anybody. Terrible. It's [ __ ] terrible. Yeah. And that's probably what they did. forever. It's so [ __ ] terrible. Yeah. And I mean I mean I know you know we. have problems with the word woke, but. you know I think in many ways. Hollywood wokeness is also good.
Yeah. In that way. I think that in a. stopping the abuse way. But the problem. is there's like in Hollywood particular. there was an overcorrection and crazy. people like Amber Herd got involved and. started manipulating the truth to sort. of gain sympathy. You you you've got a. lot of those cases too. The Chris. Hardwick case there's there's a lot of. those where the the reality is so. different than the truth and everybody. just assumes that the woman's not insane. and that she's she's telling the truth. So you but you're going to have to have. a few of those. If you're going to have.
to have real change, like a real. correction of actual abuse, you're going. to it's just like if you're going to. like accept trans people, you're going. to have a bunch of instances of perverts. pretending to be trans. If you're going. to say, "Hey, we have to stop abuse.". You're going to get fake abuse. You're. going to get people that come out and. say, "No, man." And that's the way. Hollywood is. Like humans are bad. That's the way humans are. Yeah. But in the sense of like a show. like Beef getting green lit. with a mostly all Korean or Asian cast.
I think in that way it's good, right? But there is an overcorrection in terms. of like. it's good because that show is good, right? That's why it's good. Yeah, you're right. It's good when the show's good. Even if the show was good back then 20. years ago, they would have never Yeah. They would never wrote. it. Better about acceptance. But it's. still I think art has to be a. particularly standup is the best example. I can speak about that has to be a. meritocracy. It has to be what is. actually funny. At the mothership we have a [ __ ] very. clear mandate. No one gives a [ __ ] if.
you are gay, if you are straight, if you. are trans, if you are black, if you are. Asian, if you're white, they don't give. a [ __ ] Are you funny? That's all it is. Are you funny? And that's our goal. The. goal is and that's what comedy used to. be. I had this conversation with Alli. Wong once and she was like, "Do you. think comedy is a meritocracy?" I was. like, "Ultimately, it has to be because. at the end of the day, the the what's. funny is what people going to come see. again, you know, and you could pander. and you can get away. You can kind of. like be halfassed and be treated like.
you're better than you are." You see. that all the time when they make those. lists of the best standup specials of. the year and some of them are like, "What the [ __ ] are you saying?". I know. I know. You're so crazy if you think this is. good. And they're only saying it because. it's the right demographic. Yeah. And. you can say that if it's they're talking. about the right points. Even if the. standup is clunky and awful and. unoriginal and just garbage, they still. they'll tell you it's amazing. And I don't want to kiss your ass. May I. for a second, though?
Just accept it. Okay. All right. I feel like. Here we go. I love it. I love it. I love just just. hear me out. Okay. I just feel like, you know, in a in a. way. you carved the way for me specifically. because before I did Tiger Bell and Bad. Friends, I mean Joe, I'll be honest with. you. I mean, I would do half rooms, you.
know what I mean? Even though the eight. years of Mad TV and all the things I had. done, right? And I couldn't get an. audience, right? And now, I mean, it's. just like it's night and day. I mean, it's you you I you I mean, the the path. that you laid down and even back then. when you used to do remember you used to. do at the ice house and I used to pop in. back in the day, right? It sort of like. I think it just kind of like. subconsciously I absorbed it and it. became a path for me and it changed my. life. because now to hear.
What? That's beautiful to hear. And when I go on the road now, it's like. I get people that are like really. they're fans. They know me. Yeah, they're they love me and I love them as. well, you know, and it's it's a. different [ __ ] deal, dude. You are a creature of the internet. I am. Yeah. And you should be. And the. internet changed the game. The internet. also made it instead of a famine thing. People had an abundance mentality. because when we first started in the. '9s, there was only a few shows you. could get on. You got on Mad TV. I got. on news radio. There's only a few shows.
And you were really lucky if you were on. a show. I remember we would talk about. it all the time. Oh my god, I'm so. lucky. Miracle. crazy. We're on TV. Oh my god, we're so lucky. But there was other people that didn't. get your spot and they hated it and they. were mad at you. Like like if you cast. for Mad TV and other comics at the club, you know, I know you experienced that. Yeah. And they were [ __ ] jealous and bitter. and they would talk [ __ ] about you. He. [ __ ] sucks on that show. He doesn't. do anything. And they just angry that it. didn't happen to them because it could.
have happened to them. Yeah. Now, instead of that, now we're valuable. to each other because now we're a. community of podcasters and comedians. And instead of us being like in. competition with each other, we all feed. off of each other and we all support. each other. It's a much better. environment for standup. It's a much. better environment for comedy clubs. It's like everything's better now. It's also the connection with East. Coast, too. It's like before I felt like. there was like a rivalry almost, right? And now it's like when I go to New York.
and I as soon as I land I don't even. call the the um they the seller will. call me and go what spots do you want? Yeah. And then like all the comments will go. come by let's pod. You know what I mean? It's like a family. It's [ __ ]. amazing. Yeah. That happened during the podcast. revolution. That's what changed. everything. You think it's going down now? Going down. The podcast revolution. Yeah. Are we. still. It's happening. I know. Are we on down swing or upswing? No, it's not on a downswing at all. It's. if you pay attention to the numbers, more people are listening now than ever.
Yeah. All the podcasts. Yeah. It's awesome. And it's it's awesome because you get to. see people for who they really are. No. [ __ ] no filter, no nonsense. You. can't nonsense people for 3 hours. You. know, at a certain point in time, your. [ __ ] demons will show their ugly. face. It's really who you are. And it also. shapes who you are because you get to. kind of like experience feedback and. examine how you think about things and. why you say the things you say. and how much of the in the early days. like how much of what we used to say was.
just for shock value. Like you were you. would go on a morning radio show. You. try Yeah, I know. We would try to say as. shocking things as we could because that. was the way to get attention. Especially. like Opie and Anthony. I know. I. I know. I know. We don't have to talk. about it. I We don't It's No, I I I could vaguely. go around it. I'm just like at the time. we all did it. Yeah. I was a survivor. Yeah. And I'm like, "Oh, this is the culture.". Yeah. This is the culture. And also I'm like a LA comic. I'm in. open with beasts. Patrice Norton, all those guys were.
[ __ ] beasts. And it's like, you know, and then, you know, at the. time, you know, and then later and then. now, you know, it's but it's like. but now it's a much more honest thing. Yeah. Because now you you do your own. thing, right? And if people want to see. Bobby, they know how to find Bobby and. they go they seek you out. So it's not. like some random person's tuning in like. who's this guy and then you have to say. something crazy to get attention. Yeah. Now it's just you could be yourself, you know? That's the difference. Like if. you got a million views on Tiger Belly,
that's a million people that really want. to watch your show. That's not random. You know, if you got a million people. that are on like some Comedy Central. show, a million people watching that, they're flipping channels. Yeah. They they like how many of them are. looking forward to it? How many of them. just stumbled upon it? It's It's. probably. quite a bit. Most shows don't have like. loyal dedicated viewers unless they're. like streaming shows. Yeah. Most like if you're watching Stranger. Things, that's what you want to watch. But there's a lot of things that are. just not that popular and the numbers.
are like still not as good. The the. podcast thing is a wild thing. I drive down the street in LA and I see. a show. I'm like, who the [ __ ] are. who's on that? No one's going to watch that. I mean, maybe maybe. It's good. Yeah. I mean, I like that they're still doing. them. I don't want them to go away. They. tried to kill that man. This [ __ ]. Last Strike, dude. I had so many friends that stopped. doing standup and just been writing that. went into a panic. because they have mortgages and they. just started Camille started doing. standup again, right? Wow.
He hadn't done standup in seven years. Wow. And uh I know Owen Smith was getting. back on the road again. We had him at. the mothership, but he's a guy that I. was always saying like that guy that's a. velvet prison for that guy. He's too. good. Yeah, he's too good at standup to not be huge. Yeah, I love him. He's one of the best comics in the. country. He's like top 20 in the country. without a doubt. No question at all. Owen Smith. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm making a list of top 20 in the. country, Owen Smith's on that list. He He shouldn't wear sweatpants on. stage, though. Who gives a [ __ ].
Let him wear sweat. He got a big ass. dick. He's big dick. Let him Let him He's funny, man. He's so funny. That guy big dick, dude. That's a good thing. He was in town just a couple weeks ago. We all We all sat in the balcony and. watched the set. He did my show and then. he he did my show on Thursday and then. he did uh the weekend he headlined and. he said it was awesome. I just also want to tell your fans I. have a pretty mediumsized dick. It's regular. Thank you. I've seen it again. I know. But online they're like it's. like like a minion. You know it's. normal. It's a regular dick. It works. It's great. Squirts the whole.
thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so. much. Every other day it squirts. Yeah. Every other day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It work it works. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. Thank I got that out there. You. know, you're rude. judging you by something. you can't control. Yeah. But it's been a real blessing, man. It really has. And I. The podcast thing is a blessing for all. of us, obviously. It's And it And it changed standup. It. really did. It it created way more. theater acts. There's so many more. theater acts and arena acts, guys like. Schultz and all these guys. And they. just releasing their stuff on the. internet, doing podcasts, becoming.
popular through podcasts. Yeah. It's an amazing way to live. I mean, I was in Hawaii with Sigur was. in town. I was just there vacationing. and Sigur goes, "I'm doing a show. do. it. So, they didn't announce me. Oh, that's great. Right. It was like 6,000 seats or. whatever. Right. And when they I'm And I. don't want It's not a bragging thing, but when they said my name. Yeah. And I walked up there, I had never felt that before in my life. What was you in town for? I leave tomorrow morning. [ __ ]. I know. Why don't you change your flight? Do do. my show tomorrow night at 7:00.
Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll change. Um Bert's going to do it, too. Oh, he is? He's in town. Christ is in town. Oh, I'll do it. Yeah. Yeah, it'll be fun. It'll be fun. Oh my god. They're going to go bananas. Okay, good. That'll be great. The The beautiful thing about those. shows, Shane will be on the show, too. Oh, it's going to be awesome. Okay, I'll have you go before, man. No, I'm. Dude, here's the thing, dude. Yeah. And this is what's great about it. I'm. not afraid. No, you shouldn't be afraid. I'll follow you. I It would be hard. Very difficult. You don't have to do that.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I would try. I wouldn't be afraid of. doing it. Listen, the show's going to be amazing. It's going to be amazing. Hinch Cliff's. on the show. It's going to be amazing. Brian Simpson's here. I love him. Oh, he's the best. He's so good, dude. It was good to see also old friends last. night. It was great. Yeah, like I miss. them. Yeah, man. We took all the good people. You [ __ ] us. I didn't I made life better for these. folks. It's a better place to be, man. It really is. It's a better place to. live. There's less traffic. And so many people last night after the. show were like, "Move here. Why are you.
moving here?". And I'm like, "I'm going to talk to. Andrew about it.". You should. But we have to move together. Yeah. But look, we could have maybe like a house that we. come every once in a while or something. You should. You should. Look, Santino. would love it here. He would love it. here. He likes doing TV shows, too, though. That [ __ ] idiot. Yeah, but. I know, but it's a different craft. And. it's, you know, I'll tell you something. He always like No, but guys like Schultz. and these young guys, right? It's not a part of their dream, right? But when I came to LA, I was like, I. want to do movies. I love movies. I love.
watching it. But here's the thing, Bobby. You can. always still do movies. I still get. offers for movies. You can still do. them. Yeah, I know I am doing them. Yeah, 100% could go back and do them. You. You're a free man. I know. And you've got some cash. I know, but comics make fun of me about. it. You Hinchcliff's apartment. Oh my god. Hinchcliffe has this [ __ ] insane. apartment with his giant balcony, which. you can get here in Austin would cost. you $20 million in New York. Wow. Oh my god. It's incredible. The life. there is amazing. The life in in.
downtown Austin. Yeah, there's so many great restaurants. People are cool as well. Can I go to the pasta bar? It's going to. be great. Oh, that place is great. Great, dude. It's incredible here. I know it is, dude. And there's so much live music here. I mean, Gary Clark Jr. has a club. He. has Antones. He's one of the owners. there. He's there all the time. Last night after the show, this tall. blonde that would never talk to me in LA. came up to me, gave me a side hug. Oo. Side hug. And we had we connected eyeballs. Yeah. And I if I lived here, I think I could.
Yeah. Right. And I'm like, that also is an. incentive. Yeah. You know what I mean? Cuz I'm single. girls. I love Texas women. So nice. I know. They're so womanly. I love womenly womenly. Yeah. That's what I like. Yeah. I love it, too. Anyway, really good to be here. Great to have you. You can bail if you. want. You're going to do You're going to keep. going. Yeah. Keep going, boy. Why? Well, we could stop. Yeah. It doesn't matter. It doesn't. No, we're talking. 2 and a2 hours is That's good enough. That's huge. That's plenty. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But if I leave, you're.
gonna keep going? No. No. All right. Let's stop now. So the next. time I have other things I want to talk. about. Perfect. All right. Perfect. Thanks for having me. on. Beautiful podcast. It was beautiful. Thank you so much. Perfect. My pleasure, brother. Watch the drugstore June. So, now that we cracked our our ice and. we did this, we'll do them more often, right? Yeah. 100%. 100%. And please consider moving here, man. You It's a thing. Like I said, Theo is considerate. Pauliey's considerate. We have some Poly Shore is a different. human being now. That was so loose and. so friendly and so silly on stage.
Oh, I love him. And he's killing him. He went up in the in the little in the. little boy the little room and I hadn't. seen him in years and I go, "Dude, that. was so funny. You were so loose.". Yeah. And he's like, "At the comedy store, I. was always tense.". Yeah. It's like it's hard for me to be free. He's a different person. I also I wouldn't be in this business. without him and that family. Her. Oh, her. I mean, that's why she's here. She said two things to me as a young. comic. Okay. Okay. Okay. She said, "It's a sin to. support mediocrity,". right?
I still don't know what it means, but I. still have it in my heart. But then one day I was at Bully's. restaurant, you mean in La Hoya with. her. I was when Freddy Soda used to. drive her down. He would go, "Come eat. with us." I miss Freddy so much. I do too. Yeah. Yeah. And so one day we were. sitting there at Bully's restaurant in. La Hoya and she goes, "Do you know what. makes a star?" I go, "What?" She goes, "50% of the people have to love you, but. it's okay if that other the other half. hates you. It's all in the same.". Right? And it's like when I read bad.
comments now on, you know, cuz I get. some because I'm like I've risen, right? I just take that into the thing that. it's like it's attention, right? It's. not personal. You know what I would tell you to do? What? Don't read them. Yeah. I haven't. Don't read anything. Yeah. Yeah. You don't read No, no, no. I don't read. articles about me. I don't read [ __ ]. But if you read it, would it hurt your. feelings? It could. Yeah, it could. It could. bother you. All right. You're a human being. You know, if. someone says something, especially if. it's not true, and if it's and it's influencing people.
in a [ __ ] up way, it paints the least. charitable version of you. But people also don't realize that I'm a. sensitive guy. We're all sensitive. They're sensitive, too. That's why they're lashing out. The. reason why they're writing mean [ __ ] is. because they know what hurts them. A kind person, a happy person wouldn't. be writing shitty things about you. They're doing it because they're It's. that old expression, hurt people hurt. people. But when they make [ __ ] up, dude, the. other day I read I'm sorry. She I read. this. This is what I read. I heard Bobby Lee abuses his animals.
Okay. Like, why the [ __ ]. Because they want to hurt your feelings. They want you to get angry. Nou. I believe you. Dude. Yeah. I get them the best. I go, what's the. most expensive [ __ ] The healthiest. [ __ ]. Should they have all those oils and. stuff on? It's not a everyday event like you know. every other month. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You. know what I mean? Like. Isn't it weird that cats hate water, but. they love fish? I know. It's kind of crazy, right? It's crazy. Yeah. It's weird. They love fish. They love fish. Yeah. They don't want to go nowhere near that. [ __ ] water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I don't.
abuse my animal. I love animals more. Yeah, I know. But it's like insane. Of course you don't. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. So, I don't read it. And um. Yeah. just don't read it because even if. you read a hundred things that are. awesome, one that sucks is going to like. stick in your head because that's how a. human mind is designed. It's designed to. find danger and conflict and look out. for it because it could hurt you. And so when you see that one thing, that's the thing you're going to. concentrate on. It's the one person that. hates you. Why do they hate me? Oh my. god, what if they're near me? That.
feeling of hate is the same feeling that. you would get if there's someone that's. dangerous, that's from another tribe. that's looking at you over the hill and. you think they might want to kill you. like ah [ __ ] And you have to think. about them. You don't think about your. friends that love you. You think about. the danger and that's natural. It's a. natural inclination of the human mind, right? So you do that with social media, too. You don't seek out the danger, though. No, don't do it. And don't spread it. either. the people that spread it. You. You don't realize what you're doing, but. you're also affecting yourself because.
you know that what you're doing, unless. this is like the person you're going. after, some legitimate Nazi or. something. You know what I mean? Like most of the. time when people are attacking, they're. they're they're attacking someone to try. to hurt them because they know that they. can be hurt too. This is like a lot of the people that. are doing this [ __ ] on social media all. day long. They're we know them. They're. mentally ill people. I don't need to. name any names. I can. But there's some. of our severely mentally ill people that. are just liars. They're insane. They're.
full of [ __ ] They're they're they're on. medication and in therapy and they're. just lashing out at other people's. behavior. And it's like they don't realize that. like to be a good person also means to. be nice to everybody. It doesn't just. because someone has a differing view on. something, you can't demonize them and. turn them into a non-human. But people. do that because they're terrified of. that happening to them. Yeah. And I also don't like when people. try to do things like that, I'm not mad. at them either. I don't have like a. thoughts of revenge or you know what I.
mean? You know, I mean I, you know, I. just, you know, I just feel bummed that. like they feel that way or whatever. You. know what I mean? But I have no I have I. I have love for people. I know you do. Yeah, I do. I have love for you, Bob. Okay. Anyway, thank you. Bye, everybody. Bye. Thank you. [Music]. [Applause]. [Music].
